Doughboys - Pink's Hot Dogs with Alana Johnston (LIVE)

Episode Date: August 9, 2018

Alana Johnston (The Birthday Boys, UCB) returns to the show to review a historic LA landmark and restaurant, Pink's Hot Dogs. Plus, a special guest joins us for a live Snack or Wack, followed by a live audience feedbag. Recorded live at the Hollywood Improv in Los Angeles.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Please don't put your hands together nice and loud for Doughboys live at the world-famous Hollywood Improv. In 1985, the TV dramedy Moonlighting premiered on NBC, making stars of its two leads, Civil Shippard and a previously unknown actor named Bruce Willis. That same year, the ensemble drama St. Elmo's Fire released in theaters, launching the careers of a group of young actors nicknamed the Brat Pack, including a model turned thespian named Demi Moore. In 1987, a year after calling off her engagement with fellow Brat Packer Emilio Estevez, Demi

Moore and Bruce Willis wed, forming one of the biggest Hollywood power couples of the 1990s. A 13-year marriage that would loosely line up with their reign as two of the highest-paid stars in the industry, they individually appeared in smash-hit films like Die Hard, Ghost, Hope Fiction, and In Decent Proposal, before Amica Lee Divorcing in 2000. Just back in 1987, when Willis made a decidedly decent proposal to Moore for marriage, he chose as the site a decidedly unglamorous spot for two A-listers who'd met on the red carpet of a movie premiere, a modest hot dog stand located in the heart of Los Angeles'

historic Fairfax district. Though the small rickety structure seems positively luxurious compared to its first form, a pushcard opened by a more working-class husband and wife team back in 1939, who gave their business their colorful last name. In 1947, the popularity of their 10-cent francs enabled them to open their now iconic brick-and-mortar location on La Brea Boulevard. The once simple menu grew exponentially over the decades, adding numerous hot dog and hamburger variants piled up with various combinations of chili cheese, sauerkraut, and pastrami,

some named after the celebrities who braved its legendarily long lines. Now with 20 locations clustered at tourist spots in the U.S. and the Philippines, it's over-the-top fair draws raves from loyalists and dismissive pans from jaded skeptics. So is this fabled Hollywood hot dog hut worthy of the hype like a few good men? Or is it a box-office gut bomb like Hudson Hawk? This week on Doe Boys, Pink's Hot Dogs. What's up guys, welcome to Doe Boys Live, how you doing Ellie? We've done a few of these live shows and by far my favorite part that I've yet to figure

out an elegant way to handle is when I sit down and then just open my laptop in front of everybody. It's quietly doing this bit of business. Guys, we've got a great show for you tonight. My name is Nick Weiger and before we go any further, let me introduce my co-host, Obi One Ton Kenobi, Mitchie Two Spoons, Mike Mitchell! that entrance, Spoon Man. I was stuck behind someone, you piece of shit.

I was like Bobby Roode coming out to glorious. No one gets your wrestling nerd shit. There are a few smarks out here. Hey, that roast was courtesy of Freddie Hernandez, who's maybe here tonight. Is Freddie here? Hi, Freddie. That's the roast. Big mistake.

I'll see you. Actually, you could kick my ass. Never mind. I was going to say I'll see you after the show, but I'll see you after the show. Thank you guys for so much. So much for coming out this late Sunday night. It's so late, Mitch. Oh, shut up.

I can't. I honestly can't believe. It's 10. 30 now. It's way past your bedtime. It's way past my bedtime. It's alright. I don't have power through it.

So do maybe a lot of people here. I know many of you. That's what I'm saying. A lot of us have jobs in the morning. Not all of us are living the life of Mitchie Two Spoons, where we can sleep until 11 a.m. and then immediately get on the phone and start complaining to our friends on a text post. I wake up in the 10 o'clock hour.

All right. Fair enough. Fair enough. That's an improvement. By the way, how to Mitchie Two Spoons station? You know what? You may think I'm trying to milk some applause here, but it's true. I'm going back to the Spoon Man.

Mitchie Two Spoons is dead. Wow. Wow. Saved it for the special live show. Wow. Already what a show. My nickname has changed back. Already a success.

How much is this like just a retreat? Because I think Mitchie Two Spoons just didn't catch on. No, it's very popular. Very, very popular. Well, Spoon Man is great. You got a Soundgarden song. You can listen to that when you walk out. It's a lot of fun.

I can listen to that when I walk out. Everyone can listen to that. You think that I'm enjoying the song as I walk out? Yeah, I think you are. No, I'm not. I think you're loving every second of it, you vain fuck. Our guest asked if it was a Weigar radio play when you were on up here doing your intro for 10 minutes.

She's right. Now, isn't this just an insult to everyone who's worked hard and got up on stage here at the Hollywood Improv that we're doing this podcast here? It doesn't seem right. It just seems fucked up. I was trying to figure it out and it's contemporaneous with the Jesper Lafts Festival. Yeah. I think they were like, there's a serious shortage of laughs in LA right now.

We got to go deep. Let's book the fucking dough boys or something. Oh, wait a minute. I got to play a drop. Play your drop. You set it up. Yeah. Hit us with a drop, Emma.

Elana Johnston is here. Hi, Elana. Just call me the knife. Okay. This place is a dump. Elana. The knife has sliced. I mean, she cuts people down to size.

I was born with nails. It's a black neck. The knife has spoken. I'm going snack. The knife. Oh, God. The knife is doing a dance. I hate drops.

I hate live show drops. I forgot that I have to play audio for 30 seconds and sit here and feel like a fucking idiot. Well, you know, that's what distinguishes our show from other live shows. There's a lot of points in the show where the people on stage are sitting quietly while some audio clip plays over the PA. That was from Robert Persinger. Persinger.

He said, you got to play this drop on the live show. I changed it. I had a different drop. I got this email. You got to play this drop. But I was like, all right, we'll play the drop. I didn't have to play the fucking drop. No, you didn't.

Who gave a shit? People like the drops, right? That's part of the people like the drops. Are you being nice to me? Oh, they want to explain. Hey, you know what? Part of the reason I'm being nice to you. You're a big celeb now.

You just presented at the LA area Emmys yesterday. I told you backstage not to bring this up. Wait, did you really? Yeah, I said, don't bring it up. Oh, we had a miscommunication because I thought I thought I said, please bring it up. I thought you said it was okay if I brought it up. No, I said, don't bring it up. Okay, I'm sorry.

I mean, there's a difference between don't and okay. Well, was there was there anything because this is like they do these all over the country? Obviously, this is a version of the Emmys similar to the creative arts. It's not that something that's televised. It's for everyone in the room, right? I gave out an Emmy for outstanding short promo news topical Wow with an anchor from Fox LA. And so I met her husband and her husband's like, so what's the deal? You're like not a newscaster, right?

And I was like, no, and he's like, but you're like not famous either. And I was like, no, not famous either. He's like, so I just don't get it. Like, why are you presenting an award? And I was like, man, you got outfit. I certainly did. He had me on a dog leash by the end of the night. I mean, but you enjoyed it.

He gave me a belly rub. Yeah, you normally eat out of a bowl on the floor anyway, so not that different. I like to eat with Wally and Irma. It's fun. It's fun to see things from their perspective. Speaking of which, let's get the show rolling so I can get home and slay with them. No, no, no, no. All right.

All right. You thought I meant like the 1800s lay with them. That's bullshit. Look, sometimes I don't have to do any work on my end. Let's introduce our guest. She's an actress and comedian from Adam Ruins Everything, and I want my phone back on Facebook. Give it up for Elena Johnston.

Oh, my God, guys, let's get right into it. We have a lot to cover. Yes, ma'am, let's do whatever she says. You told me two things backstage. I was saying a lot of trash. One, you said I'm drunk. Here's the thing. I didn't have dinner.

I had about one drink and I thought, well, we're in this deep. Let's keep going. And then two, you were bragging about how your response to one of our tweets got more likes than our tweet. I wouldn't stop showing it. Let me tell you, these guys are tweeting out. Oh, Elena's coming on the show. Everyone's going, yeah, whatever.

I tweeted out. Everyone's like, what? I mean, you guys lost it. It was unbelievable. And for the listeners at home, you got to see this crowd. They're loving me. We got banners. We got tops off.

Somebody threw a pair of my panties at me. I mean, Roger. Anyways, but for real, Wiger, that radio play, no thanks. Just say pinks. I'm sitting there, back down, falling asleep. Good old Wiger's going, aim, tired. Yeah, I am too. Can I just?

Oh boy. I couldn't really hear you slash was not paying attention. But not at all. The brat pack used to go to pinks. Well, the big, the hook, the thing that tied it all together. Bruce Willis and proposed it to me more at pinks. Oh, that sucks. It's a fact.

It's something that happened. No, I'm saying, yeah, it's a bummer. That's a bad proposal for them. Okay. No, I'm saying it sucks. You're saying, no, it was the highlight of my night and everything. Alana, you're thank you for being here with us today. Nothing else going on.

Your nickname, the knife, of course. You know it. The knife already cutting us down to size, always. But I wanted us to take a step back. You've got, you've got a trip to Portugal planned. I absolutely do. This is so embarrassing that I told you and you're bringing it up. But basically what's happening is this.

I'm going to Portugal because I'm one of those people who's free and go where she wants, when she wants. Hey, good luck in your boring lives. My plan when I go to Portugal is to really judge the locals and then get in on them. So wish me luck. I hear they eat a lot of fish. I will be reporting on another podcast you guys do that I'll walk in on.

I'm going to knife up a lot of shit while I'm there. And I might get a tan. I'm not the tanning type, Nick. Me neither. Oh, I can, I mean, I can, I can get pretty. Oh, you're a golden boy. Look at him. He's glowing for the listeners at home.

You got to see this tan. No, I mean, oh my God, I can get downright swarthy. I mean, I spent some time in the sun. Nice and golden brown. Yeah, I used to go to the pool. I used to, you know, I go to the pool less these days because of my schedule, but I used to go to the pool and, you know, I got an interesting update.

It's like, we get it. You work. I'm going somewhere. I developed an asymmetrical tan because I mostly do freestyle. So I mostly on my front. So my back was really golden brown. I can't believe we're talking about this. I just, where am I?

Your back was tanned. Yeah. My back was super tan and my front was kind of like my normal coloration. So no, you weren't doing any backstrokes was the issue. No, yeah, that's it. Oh, I'm not good at backstroke. Oh, you got to do that backstroke. Wait, do you swim?

Me? Yeah. I'm a certified lifeguard. Are you really? Good luck getting me in the lake or ocean. Can't see the bottom. I know, thanks. Wait, so what's...

But if you're drowning in a pool, yeah, I'll be there. So what is the, because my issue with backstroke is I can't go straight. You know, backstroke is actually my strongest stroke. Is it really? It absolutely is. I'm so fast, you can't beat me. Shall we demonstrate? For the listeners at home, there is a pool in here.

You know what, I have a lot of buoyancy, which I'm sure you'll make jokes about. But I'm just good at, I am very good at floating. I am. It's too easy, I'm out. There's been many times where I've gone to a lake or ocean. I've been dragged out. They thought I was a dead body.

Right. And people think that while you're on ground as well, I mean, what a rough go. You laid out a taken nappy wake up with tape all around you. It's insane. There's a satellite photo of you that says a acre wide thing of ocean trash. Acre wide thing of ocean track. I was trying to remember breaking news.

I was trying to remember what the day, what they call those floating trash islands. They're a thing. I think floating trash islands works well. You know, I won a floating contest when I was eight years old. Such a fucking loser. I did save it for the radio play. Thanks, Nick.

It's a floating contest. Go for it. Here's what it was. I mean... It was the Superman float contest, which if you guys know the Superman float, I mean, you're a lifeguard. You should know this.

It's face down. Thank you so much. So it's a face down float. So really what it is, it's a test of lung capacity. And yeah, I was, I had childhood asthma, but I also have some fantastic lungs. Like I can hold my breath for a while. And so I just like took a deep breath and I lied on my front.

And I just, it was the weirdest contest because I didn't know what was going on. And then like, like the, I guess my coach, there was no way a coach was involved. I guess the whoever was running the floating contest in the public pool taps on my shoulder and like, and like I come up and he's like, you did it, you did it. And I was like, oh, great.

It was such an anti-convexing way to do something. Who's your family there or no? Yeah, like this might be abuse. Am I the only one that's worried right now? They're just trying to drown some problem children. Why is my coach there? Right. No, I think my, I think my family was there. I don't remember the context for it.

It's just, you know, when you're a kid, there's just like contest. You're just in contest. I want a jellybean counting contest. You're just involved in them. Yeah, I don't. You want a jellybean counting contest? Yeah.

Against who? The rest of the scouts in my cub pack. Boy, what was the prize? Of course you were a scout. Oh, yeah. He went far in the scouts. I'm the equivalent of me being a lifeguard. You scouted your way to the top.

I sure did. Look at me now. What? I scouted my way to the peak of podcast mountain. Oh, God damn it. E eggs. You know, on a long capacity, you demonstrated that in that fucking long ass intro.

I got to be honest with you guys. This podcast is knife in itself. We don't need me here. What a waste. All right. So we got a little food talk today. Hot dogs is the hot topic. Alana, you're a Canadian.

Thank you. I'm getting my notes up. What are what are the what are the dogs like north of the border? Delish. Let me tell you this. So I'm from Toronto. Everybody go nuts.

It's only OK. But what do you think about the DeMar DeRosin trade? What? Oh, DeMar DeRosin. Here's the thing. Yeah. I had just bought one of his jerseys. And then a week later, yeah, he was traded.

And you're out of your mind if you think I'm returning that. Why did you why did you just buy a jersey? First of all, don't tell me what to do. I literally can't stress that enough. Second of all, my body, my choice. Argue with that, Mitch. I dare you.

Here's a contest. You or a wager won't win. You got me. I just bought one because I thought now's the time. You know, season ends and you gotta let people know this is what I was all about. But yeah, and then he got traded and I am still going to wear it.

Yeah, right. Right. I had a bit of a throwback. A great legacy up there. Thank you. Speaking of basketball. Yes. We were up.

No, no, I don't care if you played or not. I mean, I do keep choking. I was going to say when you and I were upstairs. Oh, yeah. And then why you're just randomly dunked. Hold on. This is very strange for the listeners at home to now. You're not going to get it.

So this is what he's doing. He's like yammering on himself about God knows what. Probably practicing his radio play. And then he's like all of a sudden he's looking down. He's like talking. And then he just goes for the listeners at home. I just dunked. That's what happened.

I midair dunked to myself. He went like this and we were like, huh? And we looked at each other and then we were like, hey, Nick, you like just dunked a second ago and he's like, did I and we were like, yeah, you did and he is like, oh weird. And we were like, yeah, I didn't know I did it. But that's so weird action. But what you just did, so Alana just raised her arm and then just

sort of like threw a wrist at like, to me, that was like, I think I was reading something in my head and I was like, oh, that's a thing I should emphasize. No, no, no, no, no, no. You were reviewing a joke and you went, that one's a slam dunk. Come on. Please. I think I'd be that full of myself to anticipate a monster

slam of jama after a punchline. Hey man, every time I walk on stage, you know I'm getting a slam dunk. You just got knocked. All right, sorry. We went on this tangent. You were talking about Toronto and hot dogs. OK, let me tell you guys this. I know what you're thinking.

Hey, guess what? I'm on the street. I can't possibly get a good hot dog. You're wrong. I don't know if anyone's ever thought that. A lot of people, I'm looking at the faces. I'm getting some agreements here. I don't know.

So the street sausage, as I call it, is some of the best street sausage you're going to get. You're walking on the street, you're thinking, I have five bucks, but what of it? I'll tell you what of it. Buy a sausage with it in Toronto. It's so good. You don't even need the toppings.

Sure, you can get them, but you don't even need them. It's so delicious and flavorful. And guess what? Any hour, you're going, it's 3 a.m. I don't know what to do with my life. I do go get a street sausage. Is there a reason you call it sausage? Absolutely not.

Now, as we have, LA has a similar, people have tried the street hot dogs in LA. The LA street dogs are great. Iconic. Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are these? Because I only see street tacos.

You'll see street hot. I mean, I think a lot of them are in downtown. Yeah. Yeah, there's a, there's a lot in LA, right? I've been a few times and no thanks. No thanks to going downtown. Yeah. For the listeners at home, you're not missing much.

I beg to differ. There's been a downtown revitalization project. It's a whole new scene down there. Last time I went there was in the good old tuberculosis outbreak. Wait, they had a TB outbreak in downtown LA? Yeah, man. What are you talking about?

So many people died. How recent was this? About three years ago. Really? Yeah, that's what I was talking about. Oh, wait, people are nodding. I didn't know about this. They had a TB outbreak?

Right, I'm not making this up, right? This is a real, one guy's saying yes. That's the guy who died. He's here. You're just like downtown because you can take the train to it. I love taking the train down there. Yeah, you get to that staple center. You're laughing at every other fool that took a lift.

Right, it's great. It's the most efficient way to get down there, especially on the other side. But I don't, like I go down there to go to a game. As you know, I'm a bit of a basketballer. But I don't go down there to be like, what's going on? No one does that. Yeah.

He's acting like they do. No, I'm saying that there's a scene downtown. But I'm certainly not a part. And Nick, would you take the next 20 minutes painting that scene for us, please? There's a scene downtown, you see? What are you talking about? What's the scene downtown, you 90-year-old man?

I mean people laying out there. They're laying with each other down there. They congregate. Wait, you jiu-jitsu'd your own, like, misspeaking from earlier against me? That's right. Oh my God, fabulous, fabulous. No, I mean, like, you know, there's more nightlife.

There's some good restaurants in downtown. Why are you scared to say nightlife? I don't know. I don't know if I was using the right term. Because he's not even supposed to be awake. He's so tired. You're a reverse vampire, Wager. There are good restaurants.

There are good. And the LA Street Dog, which you know, it's loaded up with jalapenos and grilled vegetables. It's wrapped in bacon. You've never had one of these. You've been here for a decade. It's iconic. It's fantastic.

And I have not been here for a decade. How rude. It means I would have come here when I was 10. Oh my God, for the viewers at home, I'm banging. You can't even imagine how good I look. Hey, can we loop that or whatever that weird sound thing was you did? Who me?

Huh? Who me? Yeah, yeah, that weird thing. What are you talking about? Audio thing everyone hated. Oh, no. Yeah, don't go. We're not playing the drop ever again.

No, drop what I just said about how good looking I am. Oh, you're banging? Yeah. I can't automatically make a drop. Oh, yes, two people are saying it. This shit is fucked up. You don't mean in real time. You mean for a future episode,

someone can take that clip. If anyone can do it now, that'd be great. I don't think. Get out of your phones. I know they said not to. Someone probably can do it. I'm sure. I think everyone's banging.

Yeah. Don't put that in the draw. Street dogs. Yes, you have different toppings. Right. Yeah, I think they're pretty fantastic out of here. And Mitch, what's the hot dog scene like in Boston? Oh, the hot dog scene.

Let me tell you. Don't act like you don't know. No, I mean, like outside Fenway and stuff there, you know, you can get you can get a sausage or or a hot dog. You know, like not they're not usually bacon wrapped. I mean, I feel I feel like it's a like a Mexican style hot dog. There's I don't know if that's correct, but the Mayo ketchup mustard, right?

You mean out out here? Yeah. Yeah, I think that's what I think. I mean, I think certainly. I think certainly. We don't have bacon wrapped. That's not right. I was so afraid I said something problematic.

Probably did. But it's a it's a it's like a Mexican style hot dog, right? I think absolutely. They put a little cilantro on there. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. But wait, but what does that connect to Boston?

No, I'm just saying it's just very much more plain. You can get I got you mustard a little bit more traditional, a little more traditional. Yeah, yeah. Well, our trip to pinks. Did anyone out here go to pinks in advance of this episode? Who went tonight? Oh, my God, was that big line for the bathroom already?

If you guys are these any of the people that tweeted asking for recommendations. Okay, good. We'll get to this. Who here has never been to pinks? So a good chunk of you guys. Stay put and still wait and still didn't go even for the podcast. Good for you guys.

I agree with that choice. Here's what's funny to me. I don't know if people will agree with this. Yeah, every city's got its thing. You know what I mean? Well, good night, guys. Thanks for coming out. You heard it here.

Follow me here. Follow me. Chicago. You got your deep dish pizza. Right. If you go, you got to go to Lou Malnati's. Geno's. He's who gives a shit.

If you're in Boston, I don't know. You get a clam chowder. If you're in New York, you get a street dog or hero or who gives a fuck. Are you doing a character? No. No, I'm not. He's auditioning for the radio play. This is an audition.

This is this is tipsy step dad for Mitch's SNL real. I had one cider. All right here in LA. One of the things they tell you to get is the pink hot dog. It's true. It's absolutely true. I think a lot of tourists go there and I'd say like the the crowd went there. There were there was definitely some tourists in line.

Yeah, it's it's insane. I tell it. It's it's not. It doesn't like sum up LA food at all. No, I think it's like it has it's historic in the sense that it's, you know, Fairfax the Fairfax district is historic and it's been a part of that since it was, you know, it used to be just basically all dirt and fields here. So, you know, that it's been there for a long time.

So I think it just by virtue of having existed for a while. People think it has some you know, it was dirt and fields at one point. Was that what you're saying? Yes, Mitch, like a lot of the land on the earth. Yeah, according to Mitch, the earth was just hot dogs. We ate them all up. It's fucked up. I know that.

How fuck what did you do? I just hit my tooth on the fucking microphone. Oh, boy. They're probably going to boil this thing afterwards. What the fuck's on your tooth? Be honest, Mitch, you you've faded out for a second. I thought it was an ice cream cone. That's my favorite gray ice cream.

Hello, Bruce Willis got engaged in DemiWorthy. They're only like a Demi dog or a Bruce dog or something. They might. I mean, their menu is sprawling. Yeah, so they have like a bunch of things on their regular menu. And then if you just look, they've got just got a bunch of printouts on the just like just like computer printouts just like tape to the window around it that just has a kind of messy.

It's very messy. It's madness. It looks it's like the presentation of an ice cream truck. It looks like missing or wanted posters. It absolutely does. Wanted this hot dog. And what's the reward? A diarrhea.

Yeah, are we knifing into this because let's cut it up. I'm ready. So the three of us went on a Wednesday night. There are famously long lines at pinks. Anyone who went here in advance of this episode or just at any point in the past, who's endured like a long line at pinks? Who's waited for like a while? Anyone?

A few people. I wonder if it's kind of dying down because it used to be a thing where you see those lines like snaking outside like basically every night of the week. And we went there was like no one there. That's why it was such a touristy thing because you're like, why is everybody lining out? That's why everyone want to go. And when we went there, keep in mind, we decided to meet at 7.30 and I showed up on time. Nick was too busy sashaying his pretty little away there.

And Mitch, I guess, was working on his new buff bod with his personal trainer. I was at the trainer. Yeah. And he was late, unshowered. I don't mind saying, and we saw him take a photo with fans, unshowered while walking out. It's true. But I had my timer out on my phone ready to set the time for how long I was in line.

So I could complain about it on the podcast. And when you know it, they knifed me no line. There was absolutely there were zero people in front of us. Yeah, if anything, they were begging me to come in. I told I told my trainer I was going to pink so we did some extra reps. And I know the people here can see it, but for the listeners at home, we're talking little to no results. I really can't stress that enough.

I mean, my biggest concern while we were eating was that Mitch was too sexy for me to focus on. But turns out I got through it. No problem. Yeah, I truly no problem at all. I'm getting knifed. We knifed him together, remember? Buddy, you knifed yourself. I don't know what to tell you.

But yes, we will be knifing wager throughout. I have a couple of notes about it. I thought I thought I looked pretty swole that entire dinner. You look swollen. Like something went wrong. Yes. We haven't even talked about a single food item. Oh my God, which is fine there.

Yeah, we can still stay on the menu because they look dirty and like chili stained. They look they look gross. Yeah, I mean, I'm conflicted because it definitely has character. Like it definitely feels like oh, this is a place that has, you know, you can tell it's it's like lived in. You can tell it has some history to it, but also but I think there's a way to bad character like a. A bad character like a. Well, yeah, one of my notes here is everyone here is miserable. You were just you were looking at Nick and I.

For the listeners at home, I'm a delight. Just so everybody knows you got to see this crowd that lives in it. But yeah, it does have character. Right. Yeah, it does. And there's photos of the celebs that have been there. So many headshots inside. So many missing three very important people.

I'm sorry. Quentin Tarantino's up there. Not me. Name one thing he's done. I've been on a podcast. Thank you. Why did there's so many other celebrities you're going to pick? Oh, Celine Dion.

I was mad about that. Oh, that's the Canadian Queen you're going to pick. I'm sorry. It seems like there was a time where they were really they were really reaching for celebs up there. They put they put pretty much everyone up there. Yeah, but I will also say like sometimes you'll go you know in LA you'll go to like the dry cleaners or something and they'll have like a celebrity up there and it'll be like Kevin Jackson. You're like who is and it's just like some guy just a man.

Yeah, just like signed his headshot. You're like who the fuck is this and hold on. Hold on. You don't know who Kevin Jackson is. All right. Sorry. You fucking idiot. He's come bring him out.

We got him. You know a lot of see though I killed it on a dry cleaner while I really would but I wouldn't give. Yeah. So there's like a you'll you'll see a lot of that and here they're at least genuine celebrities with genuine signatures. You know I mean Guy Fieri's up there, Will Ferrell's up there. You know there's there's some real Quentin Taranito was mentioned.

Celine Dion these are actual celebrities. So like you know it has that going forward. It definitely has some cachet as a place that again like you were saying people think about LA and they're like oh you got to go to pinks and I think celebs kind of a lot of whom are new to the city when they start their careers do the same sort of thing and end up getting some sort of attachment to it. I got an idea for the Bruce Willis dog. I'm sorry.

Are you working on that? Did I miss something in the room? I brought up the Bruce Willis dog. You eat it and at the end you find out it's something else. A sixth sense reference right like you eat it and then at the end on the in the little carton it says this is actually chicken or something. Yeah no I love that. Yeah yeah I'll go ahead I'll go ahead and spoon that or whatever your new thing is.

I don't have a thing like you do. Yeah yeah you were out here spooning people or something. No no I was listening in the back. Don't say that. It's what I heard two people from what I heard. Two spoons. Seems like you might have some issues with like allergens or something if you're openly deceiving the customer.

You know what you should say? Warning can't be allergic to anything if you want this. Oh that's good that's a good disclaimer. That'll get them lining up for sure. You have to sign a waiver that you have no food allergies or like ethical objections to eating any food of any sort. Yeah and then then you go wild. I signed a diarrhea waiver at being since you guys not signed that.

I can't wait for you. We didn't talk about this yet but it sounds like you maybe got diarrhea. Yes there are some M. Night Shyamalan style hints that perhaps at the end of this journey some diarrhea was had. For the viewers listening at home. There's no viewers again. And I do see viewers. You gotta see me I'm deathly thin so I really can't afford to get that diarrhea.

Honestly I can't afford to lose the cows to be honest. Jesus Christ. I will say despite so we get into the line we get towards the counter and I will say despite sort of like you know maybe just a general sort of malaise within. I thought the staff was super friendly super efficient. They were. It was kind of remarkable. Apparently there was a Gordon Ramsay episode where he goes and takes a restaurant to staffs

to pinks just to see how an efficiently managed cat a kitchen is run. And you see it I mean they've got so many dogs and so many burgers on that flat top and they're just they're just rolling them out with with a real expediency it's quite impressive. She repeated the the woman at the cash repeated the order twice to make sure it was right. Like verbatim are our lengthy order and it was yeah it was a huge order. I like how comprehensive they are. Well let's get into it so that we'll start with the dogs. Okay and we you know we shared bites so we shared nibbles of everything.

Oh don't say nibbles. All right no Nick is the only one who nibbled. No he didn't nibble. He like it's in my notes. It's it's in my notes. All right now I'm self I'm already self-conscious eating hot dogs. This is making me more so. No it's not it's not a bad note.

Okay good we'll say we'll make them a hot dog. They can't refuse. We started off with the Brando dog. I thought I'd do something like you would. That's cute. Yeah it's very cute. No Mitch I remember you were at the table saying I'm running out these jokes. You told us you were ready.

No no there was there was there was there was another joke which I hope I did write down. Oh no I got I have it. The joke is later. Okay great. Oh that's a good one. This is my okay. This is my wider. This is what he's going to feel.

Okay okay okay let's keep it going. Huh uh why are you're here for a treat my man? I'm just happy you did some prep for a show. Don't applaud him he needs it. So the Brando dog is a nine inch stretch dog. Mustard onion chili and shredded in all caps for some reason cheddar cheese. Yeah why is that? No idea.

Do they think he was in Ninja Turtles? Yeah when when they added that to the menu it was before IMDB. So some guy was just I think he's shredder. I'm pretty sure he's shredder. Put it on. That'd be a great late career role for him. I mean yeah that would be great. It's like how Orson Welles final performances as a voice in the Transformers movie.

Oh yeah it's like the press. It's like if that was Brando's final turn was like being shredder and like secret of the use. So I mean it's a very standard. I think they have they have other chili cheese dogs with just like you know regular slices. A very capable chili dog. I like that it has mustard on it. You know I I don't know I mean I guess a lot of it hinges on how you feel about

pinks is chili which is that very very thin chili sauce. It's funny to say. In? Yeah yeah I don't know what you're talking about with that either. It's like it's not it there aren't beans it's like kind of meaty but it's like not like it's closer to a chili sauce than like a chili con carne. That's literally a brick of chili per dog. It's a lot of chili.

It's a lot of chili. Yeah I would say that. Also you liked that it had mustard on it. Yeah I'd love that it had mustard on it. That's a part of your review. That's any hot dog can have mustard on it. Yeah we got free mustard and ketchup which I thought was a plus. I know.

No that wasn't a plus. I did. That's insane to not give out ketchup and mustard at a hot dog. It was a plus. Hey welcome to Toronto. Good luck. You gotta bring your own. They do have giant like like keg size pump action painters of mustard and ketchup and

that's actually great and they've got. I did a keg stand at one point. I did three minutes on the mustard. And they give you really big cups for holding it which is great. And so I like cups of ice. I say cups and ice to drink it for God's sakes. You were continuing with a keg stand run. Yes I'm sorry.

The I like that it has mustard on it because I think that's a good like I like it's a good component of a chili dog. I guess you can add your own but I mean no you're right. There's some decision making. I didn't think that there was enough mustard on it personally. It could have gone a little heavier but I like that. I mean I thought it was a fine chili cheese dog. I'm not sure how much more how much higher than fine I would go.

Well this is tough because now we're just getting right into the chili which I'm not sure I love the chili overall right. Absolutely not. Yeah it's a little goopy. It's a little I don't know. Yeah yeah I'm going to go ahead and say this. Hey Brando stick to the movies. Okay long dead.

I'm going to knife that one out big time. I'm going to knife it up. The Brando estate take that. Yeah that's right. Do you think each of these celebrities is personally responsible for these hot dogs? Guess what? Rosie O'Donnell is because that's what I ordered.

We'll get to that. Damn right I'm writing a letter. But yeah you're right the Brando dog is so chili contingent and you know there we had some other menu items with chili including the Rosie O'Donnell Long Island dog. Nine inch stretch dog topped with mustard, onions, chili and sauerkraut. So you know as I kind of mentioned in the the intro it's like what you guys tuned out. They're a handful of ingredients that they kind of just put on in different configurations on their different dogs.

I feel like they've got just a few and this is this is like you know an example of that. Basically it's the same thing as the Brando dog except they throw in some sauerkraut. You know what I like about the Rosie O'Donnell dog? The cooshes they put on top of it. Right. Hard to chew those. Who was going to make that joke? Oh fabulous.

Not edible. She give a heads up. What I didn't like about it is that I was almost finished with it and then they replaced with a Caroline Ray dog. I mean. It's weird to put that into you were almost done with the Rosie O'Donnell show in real life. Right yeah. And then they made it the Caroline Ray show.

Okay here's the one to one. Here's my two cents. I was there for what some people are calling a rude 15 minutes while I waited. So I had some very rude 15 minute wait. So I had so much time to look at the menu. Couldn't think of anything. Truly couldn't think of anything. We get up to the line Nick was like oh do you guys want to see the like paper menus

because it you know it has one of those like big menus. They have a big signboard up above the window. It's called a signboard yes. And then they've got the paper menus aren't up until the register which is the front of the line which would be nice if they're more so some towards the entrance of the line. So there's different hot dogs on that menu that aren't on the weird papers smattered all over the place. And I see Rosie O'Donnell dog and you got to believe me when I say boy did I laugh out loud.

And I thought I'm a woman in comedy why not support. Here's what I wrote in my note. Rosie O'Donnell dog I fucked up. Let me tell you this. Now here's the thing. I thought I should get a dog with sauerkraut on it. It's 2018 and I'm a woman. I've earned the right.

We have fought long enough to get crowd on our dogs. And then they pinks decided well we're going to get some Chilean there. I'm thinking okay so I take a bite of this thing. You guys saw me. I like regurgitate. Yeah. It was so gross. It was so overpowering.

Yeah. It was like two dicks fighting each other for king of the dicks. Like it was so bad and everyone was jizz and nasty. It was awful. It was awful. This is how I felt. It was so bad. You know what I mean.

Oh I mean. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah we get it. Sure. You guys with me on this one. I'm with you.

I'm with you. It was not good. It was it was it was bad. Yeah. I mean I just think this the sauerkraut was so dominant. You have to be a total crowd freak. I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't hate this as much as you guys did. But the sauerkraut was a little it was just it was so much.

It's just overpower. It's just a lot. I mean that's that's the dominant element there. We also to give you to give you an idea of what we're in for. My Brando dog. I wrote chili not great. Adding more muscle was very helpful. Probably my second favorite.

So yeah. So things aren't going to get better. Right. It's not a I mean it's it's you know it's not a great sign when adding your own condiments is like such an essential part. I mean like it's just you know it you would you would hope that the dishes are come out just ready to be eaten. We also got the emerald agasi bam dog.

Oh god. Oh my god. Which is like how she ordered the rosy dog. You got the emerald one because you were so excited about emerald. I saw emerald's name up there and I lost my mind. Oh yeah Nick you you review this one first. You're excited. I'm pretty sure that you'd said to her when you ordered the emerald agasi bam dog.

Yeah. She was like oh Jesus. Yeah. Look I liked his original show. I liked his live show even liked his short live sitcom. So the emerald agasi bam dog comes with cheese, bacon, coleslaw and jalapeños. And you know you guys know I'm something of a heat seeker. So I like a little bit a little bit of a little bit of capsaicin in there.

Like a little bit of spice. You have a very small spicy fan base. I don't know if you heard that. Yeah not a lot of people were like like sexy about your spice. I didn't give a lot of room to respond because I was self-conscious about saying it. But yeah that's what the issue was. Have you let that breed? This place would have went crazy.

Look you think you you think you want me to take the money we make off the show and apply it to a new roof after we blow it off this place? You gotta take it easy. The bacon is is is super I mean it was super duper crispy. It was really just fried to a crisp. Which you know some people like I I guess that's just the nature of it just sitting on that flat top grill all day. The cheese is just a little bit uh I like my bacon not well.

I agree with you. Yeah I like it meaty like what do you call it for rare? I mean like not rare. You're trying to be so fancy about bacon right now. Medium rare I like I like I like a little bit I like I like a very undercooked bacon. I don't I mean I don't think you apply steak like temperatures to bacon. I know god damn it but help me out here. I know what you mean like just like just like a little bit cooked.

I like to slurp it in like spaghetti if you know what I mean. Ew god. Good god. And now you know why we have no results. We can't slurp bacon. I like the jalapenos there aren't a lot of menu items that are that are like spicy. Like there's a lot of I mean maybe they're there they were more but I had a trouble picking them out from the fucking bible of a menu that they have.

They just have so many options I didn't see a lot that had added heat so you know it was nice that they had the jalapenos it added a little bit and the coleslaw nicely contrast with it and cools it down. But you know again like the sauerkraut there's a lot of coleslaw just a lot of it and you know again it comes down to how much you like coleslaw and specifically on a hot dog. Too much coleslaw. Yeah it kind of it also it cooled it up. They call it they should have called it the Mr. Freeze dog

because it was cold as hell. Right the coleslaw it was too cold it was too cold. Get rid of it. Yeah we got cheese bacon jalapenos on this we had coleslaw. Yeah. Mr. Freeze dog right I get it. Fuck you. No I'm with Mitch it was a bit of a cool down in terms of what we're reading but here's my two

cents I don't mind saying. You're supposed to say. Here is my two cents I'll invite myself to say it. I saw those jalapenos and I thought to myself not today. I took them off I'm not as sexy as Nick I'm not gonna eat them. I didn't know what the green stuff was and I didn't question it because I thought these guys are my friends they would never hurt me. I take a bite and let me tell you this I was gizzed upon in my face all over my face.

It was a knife a jizz it was it exploded it exploded everywhere. Are you talking about the mayo? I'm talking about whatever the green plop was that was on top of it I guess coleslaw I don't know. And it was like it it was the most I mean I said it was the most invasive experience of my life. I was so I almost filed a police report really I was that upset it was honest to God. The police got there they just locked up waggle immediately hold on it was my superman contest and let me tell you this I didn't win it was bad and I spat that one out. Do we lose three people they left.

Oh is it a Bruce Willis situation yeah. Oh no I loved it come back. They're big sauerkraut fans. Oh yeah I got him on the rosy. It's good on the podcast to talk about how people are walking out. Yeah listen for the viewers at home three walked out 30 walked in. But yeah I I wasn't I didn't know that was coleslaw and I guess I should have asked. It was I mean I mean especially if you didn't know what you were getting it's so sweet that

I think it would be jarring sweet. It wasn't particularly good coleslaw was the other issue. Well yeah because it's super diced up and you know and it's also there's just so much of it and yeah it's it's really really sweet. The Brooklyn pastrami dog I think was the winner and this was the simplest. This is what I wanted this is my order baby hot dog. All right yes got the best thing on the menu. I calm down.

This is just this is just a hot dog mustard and pastrami it's very very simple. It's decent quality pastrami I don't know what the source of it is but it's fine you know and it actually works really well and I feel like they had a sufficient mustard on this one. Yeah pastrami was good this was like I think they're just doing a little there's too much going on with most of the stuff that we have right and this one even sounds like a lot of stuff but it was kind of simple by comparison it was good yeah this is my favorite one and you like this one too.

Here's the thing before I ordered I texted my boyfriend to ask him if I liked pastrami because I'm a woman and can't decide Jesus for norm norm norm norm has to tell you if you likes pastrami because I remember we got it once and I remember having a dramatic reaction but I didn't remember what it was so I had to ask him and he said you don't like pastrami and I thought there goes three fourths of the menu you got it we split everything in three so everybody tried everything and I had a bite of it I truly loved it I will not knife this I'll napkin it I'll wrap it up like a baby and hold it close to my chest I loved it whatever that's the opposite of that of knifing is napkin you know it because if you knife someone they bleed out

when you nap in them you stop the blood oh I've been stabbed quick get me a napkin yeah you get it you scoff Mitch but that very scene plays out in the film Goodfellas and remember at the end he's like you're not napkins those are those are aprons they're aprons you piece of shit oh please aprons are thick napkins and everybody knows it and where does Goodfellas take place brooklyn I rest my case I don't remember I don't know what we're talking about oh I actually don't think it's in brooklyn it's in new york right whatever whatever you know what I'll give you a pass I don't give a shit look we can both agree regardless of the truth that was worth it it's good that I did that I also want to

give a shout out to norm because we were upstairs in the green room on normally great yeah like norm will get us drinks no big deal yeah you text norm he comes up only with a drink for me and he's like hey here's your drink Mitch what and I was like Atlanta what and you're like I forgot to put in my drink order you made me look like an asshole and let's just say my plan worked you had your mind if I'm not going to be the darling of these dough boys please great you won your boyfriend over great job whatever it takes oh so you don't have to actually do you don't have to really like be like Ethan hunt to hatch

an elaborate scheme to prove Mitch is an asshole oh my god that movie was so good did you guys see oh pull out the best I know I thought I thought I thought this late night hour would you I thought you'd still be up on that energy for Mission Impossible you were all excited after seeing it I saw yesterday oh my god it was so good I just saw today who wants to know the end oh no they're so mad quick god your knife play only gets so much good will when you turn your blades on the audience they recoil I would never spoil a movie I would never I would ever but I draw the line there as well guys man I must have been a shitty night for Natalie last night and then he drove his motorist

ran that's great nick we got to go to bed honey Mitch I'll have you know every night is a shitty night for my wife shit we just got knifed that was great that was great so we also got the in the hot dog family the pastrami burrito dog and this is akin to the oaky dog if anyone knows it from out here it's a it's so this is a big Polish dog chili cheddar cheese onions three slices of bacon but the twist is it's wrapped in a big flour tortilla so it's like it's like a big like you like you're just learning this we had this meal together you had bites of this and we like fully talked about it interesting very interesting um you know even though it's like it's got so much

chili I mean it's it's just a it's the the beans and rice that would be in a burrito is just all chili and that's a lot that one was the most packed yeah it's so packed with chilies that was that was too much was fucking going on with it's excessive it was too much it was too much it was way too much it really the only thing I'll say is that the tortilla is lighter than the buns they use yeah and so in a way it's like kind of like with it yeah it's got a lot of chili but you came around with that I remember yeah it's kind of lateral with the hot dogs in terms of how heavy it is just because it's got less starch oh wait are we talking because you finishers right do we miss a hot dog no no he you know you finished your burrito yeah piece of the burrito right I

did Mitch and I didn't this leads to one of my notes weigher went to town is Mitch too concerned about his new buff bar to let loose I I looked at I realized I had nothing to flat there's nothing there Mitch is holding up his arm and doing a pop I like like flexing motion for those of my who are my arm looks like one of the chickens that are raised in like like made for just wings look at that Jesus come on it's whatever ever hits bright if the light's reflecting off people are melting in the audience it's like opening up the arc I will say this name yeah pale skin but you're fucking built man downplay it hell yeah I mean built for what I will say this weigher that sounded like a slam but

I actually think it was your strength and here's why because you ate everything you got all the parts I mainly just had the chili of that burrito dog and I gave up so it's like I don't think I had the full don't fucking congratulate him for eating the whole thing what brings me to my point yes you and I both got diet coax diet okay here's this no diet coke club and then bobby boucher over here yeah yeah one bottle of water please this is what I wrote weigher water intake at an all time high Mitch and I partying with diet coast the bobby boucher joke is the one I wrote down not a great response still happy I wrote it down and I was like look at bobby boucher over here and she went

who and I went bobby boucher who's that I wrote down on my notes bobby boucher is the character adam sandler played in the water boy showed you it and then I think you didn't see you hadn't seen the movie yeah I saw the movie look I was afraid we'd relive this on stage I don't like caffeine after 3 p.m because they stay up all night they had a limited number of beverage options I went with a bottled water which is a pink bottled water which I thought was novel I mean it was chili plastic bottle of pipe and hot chili no it was it was it was just fine water is probably like

sparklets just relabeled or something for everybody everywhere else listening we are in a heat wave right now so yes you made the right choice right we did it for our bodies diet coke is fine it hydrates you what yeah no it does a little bit why do you turn on the diet coke club it was our thing listen man we like to party but it comes at a price but I mean there's no there's not real there's no real use in spending a lot of time the bebs because they're conventional bebs they weren't even out of a fountain right sure yeah so what is this brand niagra brand water I rip mine off this is not being filmed I I haven't encountered niagra before have you has anyone ever heard of niagra brand water is that a normal yeah I guess so established

1963 I don't know it's been around to say a bouche a bouche a bobby bouche we also got the jaws the big one burger yeah this is a cheese burger with a polish sausage bacon chili lettuce tomatoes and mayo right in the middle of shark week by the way this was one of the paper advertisements right yeah this is the one they I mean they seem to really push it they put they does the devote a lot of real estate to it on the menu and they have a big sign for it and I think partly because it's it's probably a high margin menu item yeah let me just say this is yeah go for it that burger goes on the grill gray and it comes off just is gray I didn't write that down I don't know I was looking at but but but it's it's very it's it's a gray burger it really is yeah it's a disturbing

like color to the meat and it had and it tastes bad like the patty I think the burger patty was the worst tasting thing I had you had to ask me what it tasted like I'd say gray it was crunchy yeah yeah I mean it was it was super well done I think they just they just have all those again you just go on on the flat top and then it's just super cook through the biggest problem we all had this one back me up boys yeah they're it needed a stronger bun so what it really did oh god yeah and this isn't a good way to use a napkin they took a burger and they put two napkins around it and they handed it to us and we ate it they called it a bun I called it two napkins and fell apart we tried to like all of us were trying to like grip it and we're all I give you

I give you props for trying it because we both took bites of it and we're like here you go and we slit it why because I'm a woman no because it was a disgusting mound they did they did they tried to save me and I was like I'll do it and boy have I been mad at them since I shouldn't have it it was it slipped like you go to take a bite you're holding the bun your fingers like indenting in it and you take a bite and the rest just like pops out right yeah do you know what I mean like I gave birth to a burger out my mouth yeah I mean inedible not in the sense that of of taste although I didn't like how it tasted but just like it was so hard to eat that it just like fell apart and they needed a more substantial bun they just had like an off the shelf sort of you know it felt

like a grocery store plastic bun you would get in a plastic bag off the shelf it was just like it's not substantial at all not high quality the patty's big though the patty's big and they've got so much shit on that I just say like if you're going if you're going to have this you know super expensive like opulent over the top thing like make it worth it if someone's going to order that and eat it and here it was just sort of like oh this is just whatever I mean it it wasn't even pleasant to eat no no I mean it just felt like a dare food you know what jaws wouldn't even eat that fucking burger if you threw it in the ocean wait I think you had a joke here you may not have written it down well what I did a jaws joke I did yeah I think like fuck we're gonna need a bigger toilet

think yeah I didn't say that this is that's a new joke which went pretty that was great that was good it was some sort of bigger something variant oh really yeah but um but yeah that works like that's great all right we're gonna need a bigger toilet is what we're we're gonna go with there we go uh hmm I gotta look I'm gonna see what the real joke was yeah I thought I thought that was the lowlight of the of the experience um the french fries and onion rings we got some sides uh the fries you know they're seasoned fries I thought the fries are pretty good and the onion rings were good too they're both well fried yeah I found the joke it's not good I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna no it said that can I say I said that jaws would get messy if you hate the burger

I like that too they're both good oh yeah that's good sure yeah they're both good yes to the fries and the onion rings yeah I had a bad experience at Carl's Juniors with those crisscrossers right and you got cold one you got cold ones and these fries were delicious and we said borderline like they were perfectly seasoned but like I could see yeah I went back with the wrong chef or something right you don't I mean it could go wrong but they were perfect yeah we got them at the time where I mean maybe they were they should change the oil soon when we got them but like in maybe yeah the oil needs to be changed very soon but I thought they were I thought they were good and that they're good executions of some classic sides and I like the seasoning on the fries

give me two yeah the onion rings were all right too yeah yeah fine size we all commented on that not too big not too little right a physical good size of onion they seem homemade but I don't know but they could just be some brand you know someone brought them from home I saw him bring them in they're homemade and we all we got a little dessert which I actually uh which you went ahead in order without telling us oh I treated as an appetizer too I digged in right away yeah no we saw we got a little coconut yeah wait oh this is what I wrote cake first only in LA that was my note they're like we have we have we have dessert we have dessert we have two cakes and why I was like coconut cake he like yelled it out like all right sure that chocolate cake also

looks nice but I like it I ended up really yeah I like the cake and that was good I said I wrote down that it was a good bad cake it's exactly it like it was like a perfectly good bad cake I do wonder what the source was I assume some some local baker but I thought it was is perfectly competent and nice to have you know some sweet treat that's not I don't know I mean that nice to have something that feels like like relatively freshly baked but that does bring me to a core deficiency which we discussed there why doesn't this place have shakes it's such a perfect shake spot I need shakes get some blenders in there get some ice cream have some shakes on the menu it's already an indulgent spot you got fries you got dogs you got burgers and make it a classic

shake shake one big blender only one flavor of ice cream yeah I'd be happy with that no shakes no thanks that's what I said I couldn't believe it I'm up there high and dry I'm with this cake please I can't take that to go yeah right no you're right no it is a nice dry little end to the meal but it's not it's not a great like like that sort of like burger stand dessert it's it's just not really fitting it's not really appropriate it's not what we 100% agree with you yeah which I was upset about because when we went to Carl's the only thing I liked was the shake so I was I told you guys I was excited to get the shake right at this place I didn't look up the menu before I'm very busy but I was so excited to get one and then they didn't have and we like realize that halfway

through the meal right you're like would a second this it would be a it would be a dog and a shake that's a great that's a that's a that's an la now that's a band if I've ever heard one me just starting a band by the way guys I'm not starting any band a Dave Matthews cover band we were talking about how hey who wouldn't let who wouldn't listen to the knife cast with Alana oh yeah we did wait you at did you say who wouldn't listen all of them all of them everyone doesn't want it I think you frame that you frame that we talked to you a little bit about after the show we're like you were like you're so great on the show and people love life cast Alana

Johnson should start a podcast well I did want to start a podcast called cream dream where I just talked about creams how thick they are what's going on with them and the problem is couldn't give past five minutes most of them are thick so if you guys have any ideas please tweet at me Alana under 40 you hashtag how you cream in and let me know your podcast ideas I'd love to get them in there yeah that's it all right so that those are all the menu items we got through at pinks I think it's time to get to our our final judgment here so we'll we'll each go around we'll sort of give our closing argument if you will and give this a rating one to five or arguing but okay well it's not an argument I mean in the courtroom sense yes I've never been in court I'm a

good person I don't know why there's there a lot hold on I gotta tell all my neighbors you didn't like that not a sex offender registry he's not he's like probably one of the better guys I know let's get to our final thoughts so Alana you are our guest we will start with you your thoughts on pinks hotdog your score out of five utensils we've waited about yeah he knows I'm gonna say we've waited five to seven hours to hear this um here's my thing guys the overall pinks stinks uh I'm sorry too much chili not enough

a land on the walls uh Rosie O'Donnell let me down uh if I'm giving it a couple of utensils I'm gonna give it wait this out of five right out of five yeah yeah guys we're giving that two knives wow wow two knives because I end the two one knife for uh the like appetizers right one for the pastrami dog that's it up with two knives wow yeah because I didn't go there to have cake right we should get into this did you have diarrhea did any of us have died that's five diaries out of me Nick did you have tummy troubles uh I I mean I did have tummy trouble I had some tummy troubles but not diarrhea like I didn't like go home and like fucking blast diarrhea in my bowl but I definitely like felt like I definitely had like by the way that seems intentional

uh hey anybody in the audience that went to pinks before the podcast you guys blasted out there I had some major tummy trouble yeah that maybe lasted till today um I was definitely I definitely was uncomfortable and had some indigent I mean it's it's like a insanely heavy meal I don't know how much is that specifically what what pinks is or just like the fact that you're eating that volume of that much trashy food all right here's here's here's what I think I just I think it's strange that this place is one of la's icons I like the fact that it's family run that's cool I think there's a lot of the the staff there is really great so I feel bad giving it a bad score because I thought the pastrami dog was good so if there's a way to but I don't I

don't almost like any of the chili that was on any of the hot like I like any of the hot dogs yes I I would get I would get rid of the chili toss it toss it or toss it in the streets who gives a shit yeah fuck you Lebran the lunch bray a fucking chili pits from here on out oh my god yes Jesus oh that was bad sorry everyone uh it needs a shake component if they if you had a chase to it you paired down the menu yeah I think I think it would be a place oh I get I get why it's a classic I think that mel's drive-in is feels more of a classic even though it's from San Francisco it feels like more of a classic la

thing to me like like a right but I mean they're very much trying to like you know mel's I think it's like an homage to kind of that car culture drive-in sort of I think that actually came later Philippe's there's a Philippe's yeah Philippe's the French tip spot the French tip spot I think that's more of a kind of a classic la place I mean I don't I can't think of much other things is the issue I mean we have this is a great food city well I think it depends on how much you want to talk about some like the importance of a place being here since 19 the 1930s yeah how much is like the importance of a place just being something that affects la's identity like I would say like a place like Guela Gates or Geat Lada I look for more recent places but these are like fantastic

restaurants but you gotta have an old spot like this I just I just so and Frank's been here for a while I mean that's you know it's like a steak and martini place sure I'd love to go there with you guys and record another part I wish it was better I feel bad not liking it as much as I think that Bruce Willis is a fucking dipshit wow that bald fucker come on the podcast proved me wrong god it's hard for me a family run business I do think it's stupid that people wait outside for this stuff and I will say that they are good with the orders but once we ordered it took a while and it slowed everything down and like a line started back up as soon as as soon as we put in orders mix I'm gonna go you're used to that though yeah piece of shit uh two forks one time

for me wow um I'm sorry I feel bad you don't you don't need to feel bad yeah I mean I think that's what it comes down to with pinks is like is it worth the trouble because there's either a long you know at minimum you're waiting in a line outside and you know you're you're eating on it's it's it's uh it's expensive for what you're getting the atmosphere is has a lot of character but is a little little dingy um and I'd say like the you know given all of that given how much trouble it is to go to pinks and yes there are there are you know about two dozen locations now they're they're kind of all over the country they're there you know it may be different locations may have a different experience in terms of dining um but it's still always something that you

kind of have to go to it's not something that's just going to be like right there yeah nobody's bringing me those hot dogs right is it worth that trouble and I say no it's it's a thing you go you experience once because you your curiosity has been peaked because you've heard people talk about it you're like this is a this is a spot that has some uh cache it's some history it is some connection to LA so I feel like I have to go there because I saw it in the opening credits for James Corden um but but when you actually eat the food the food is at best it's replacement level chili cheese dogs right at best it's like it's like stuff you could get at a lot of places if you're sonic the hedgehog are you stopping in are you rolling right by let me tell you he's just he just keeps going wow he

may he'll sprint through the drive through of a weiner schnitzel before he'll stop off at pinks and wait in that line tapping his toe the whole time um oh yeah what a great game it's uh you know the food is fine I don't I don't some of it was bad some of it was fine nothing like was like wow this is great the pastrami dog was pretty good pastrami dog was pretty good remember that was in comparison because we didn't start with the pastrami dog right right you're right so that I think if if you know what I mean like I think if we'd had that first we'd be like okay yeah this is okay but because we had it after a couple of fails we were like okay right we got a dog we might have been primed for that we were getting needing the balls for like 60 minutes right we're swole like me

she should have seen him I don't do any of those exercises with my trainer we're not working on my balls and then someone punched us in the arm we're like that that's not so bad in comparison yeah you're right we could have been primed to maybe think of it a little bit differently um we had the coconut cake first which is your fault I like I like the cake let me tell you you guys want to live on the edge you get a little twisted start with your dessert course you get a little sweet treat first and then you get to work your way over to savory town it works out great Natalie poor Natalie she loves it um we're getting wildtie we're a dessert first ice cream before by steak I gotta agree with you guys I think we're in the hand holding club on this one it's

it's a two fork chain I mean what a what is it these sorts two for two forks for banks I did a time two fork and a time you added a time yeah I'll go half a time two forks and an adult half time what is that what did we used to call that some lure ladder bullshit or something we look maybe because she did two all right two and a half and I did two and one time all right so we're we're ballpark buds because we're in the same general vicinity yeah we were generous was a stair step club I heard someone say stair step club stair step stair step club okay I'll just yeah that was we did bad that was bad yeah it was really bad that was a fireman's club that's cooler right I got a ladder yeah all right the fireman's club

hey that was a review of pink's hot dogs it's time for a segment and hey to deduce our segment we've got a very special guest that's right please give it up for the commissioner of the doughboys tournament of choppians mr evan saucer oh he's he's really a chance gradually making his way to the stage oh he's giving out he's giving out the snack he's distributing treats that's what everybody listening at home he's taking his top off it's wild we've they're playing the entire no chance in hell song saucer is distributing cookies to the audience evan saucer everybody

hey what a treat hey don't you dare open those cookies yet I heard someone gasp when you announced that I was here I was so excited you know we're at the improv it's famous for their drop-ins from Chris rock right Dave Chappelle I what a treat that guy gasp that guy this show couldn't get any worse couldn't it's like we're in a real life episode of crashing I mean what a treat for the audience they they paid a measly 35 or 50 dollars and then oh yeah this crowd love it and then I'm here to saucer did you bring in those snacks for hey I did okay great great great oh beautiful guys I gotta give it hey you know what I'm gonna give it up to saucer I this has but

saucer's a dad commissioner saucer down thank you that's the truth thank you poor kid I've been over his house he already had his daughter in between a loaf of bread to eat to eat yes no what else do you think it would be for that's an insane joke like he's like he's Jupiter like one of the gods what on earth he accidentally made a sandwich put his daughter in this he didn't do it I stopped him thank god you popped in saucer thank you so much we haven't seen you in a little in a little while it's been a minute you've been very busy it's been it's been a while it has been the big news that came out you and

your your your writing partner van roba show of course were the original writers of the sonic the hedgehog movie sure which is cast jim carrey yeah as dr. robot nick how about that yeah he's performed right on this stage yes and in fact if ever no he's not here nope but I have to ask while I have yes get to it for god damn it can you confirm the rumor that dr. robot nick forges an alliance with ray the flying squirrel to fight marine the raccoon we're all dying to hear it well well nick as you alluded to as the original writer I haven't worked on the project in a little while right I actually do know the answer to that question though we should yeah please please unfortunately not at liberty all right so we've got what snack did

you bring for us sester I brought Oreo things so Mitch this will be a foreign concept to you um ah wow the knife fucking rubbed off on you oh my god baby sandwich Oreo things salted caramel they seem to just be thin Oreos with a salted caramel flavor that's the everybody you have them yeah so something's got distributed to the audience so I think this may be a thing of a puff puff pass situation if you want to obviously a man who has never done that before take one out and and whoa I gotta say these things fucking very strong can we get the the allergens list off of that just just for just in case you know what the fuck are you for someone in the audience yeah I want to make sure I don't want anyone to suck it up at the

show baby god more listen grim more listens I mean that's what happens at the improv people die on stage all the time contains wheat and soy wheat so I ever learned to wheat and so I don't eat it and go outside the room maybe I don't know why I gotta gripe with your intro yes please so it was all Bruce Willis focused right and I thought this is a home run but you neglected tonight is the roast of Bruce Willis all right here's the thing and you left it it was a note unplayed yeah I maybe could as you roast hot dogs it's perfect I was thinking well he's right he's right he's right I was thinking of addressing it and then what I got in my head about is that they'd actually tape the roast of Bruce Willis a few weeks ago so it's like it's airing tonight oh god damn it I just couldn't get

I just like that was like a mental block for me so I was like I figured I would just be sort of a a mental Easter egg for people they could be like hey you know he's talking about Bruce Willis it's then it's the roast of Bruce Willis tonight they kind of make that connection on their own a visit inside your mind that no one wanted to take susserast I answer um these are uh these are yeah what the fuck these are absolutely whack first of all they taste like poor man's peanut butter anybody else getting that I agree completely yes that's a great assessment peanut butter no question about it right but no hold on a second I don't know what you mean at all by that peanut butter's for the rich we all know this right sure it's one of the more expensive nuts

um do you think it tastes actually like peanut butter well it tastes it tastes like peanut butter but like uh dollar store peanut butter we've all been there hard times but um it did like it tastes like fake peanut butter did you just I just spilled I just spilled oh my god you spilled on your laptop a live a live spill look now we need the napkin oh he accidentally spilled on his laptop oh my god the FBI is wow a gentleman a gentleman in the front rows handed me some napkins thank you very much what's your name big big hand for scott everybody saving my macbook pro you guys he was like yeah sure hey what a hero hey weiger is this how you were born water touched electronic equipment all right oh I thought you meant he like spilled out onto

a laptop okay no yeah my man bitch got it um yeah I get what you're saying it's like an artificial peanut butter it's like something that's like it's like a lab version of peanut butter I can take I can taste the I can taste the salt in a couple in a bite here or there subtle though I think I don't I don't hate these as much as you guys do the smell is very off-putting yeah that's that's a big part of it for me I'm just like this is unappetizing and then you actually eat it it's it's still not worth it yeah what do we think of the thin element oh I've never felt better let me tell you this I could go right from one of these things to the runway if anything I've lost weight since I had it uh no I think it's dumb it immediately fell apart like I went to grip it

and one part like popped open because it's not enough filling inside to keep the cookie together so if you like breaking the Oreo cookies yeah this does the job for you I love golden Oreos I think they're better than regular Oreos I like Oreo Thins even I think they have they have they're nice there's nice little textural variants to them but these like the salted caramel I'm like yeah give me regular golden Oreos I'd read that this is not better than the default here's another question how do we feel about salted caramel as a flavor I'll love it love it love it I love it as well this doesn't really deliver audience love it they love it love it I like I like my Oreos like myself double stuffed I want more I want more I want them what like you're like you're getting

finger cuffed for both ends of course your mind goes there you sick fuck no I'm a bigger guy oh I got you a big buff guy according to you making people cheer that um Oreo Thins I don't I don't like Thins I there I that's what I call thin people to out of my way you thin um I not a big bitch come on you don't like me never been an issue suss um I I they're just two they're two why I don't I don't want the who cares about the give me the regular sized Oreos I think I agree with you I think I prefer regular Oreos over the fence I don't mind they're too crackery they sure fucking crackers oh yeah

we're ritzing out there's no question about it so it seems like to varying degrees we're all kind of on the wax side of the fence I'm gonna go soft whack because they're they're almost much like you do every night that is accurate um yeah a soft soft whack yes let's let's get the audience sorry we're gonna say Elena I was going to say uh this assessment is dedicated to my boyfriend because it's a hard whack for me wait a minute what yeah whacking them real good oh guys no we don't touch that is yeah this is the norm who we're talking about who came up earlier who I was sitting next to and the whole time he's muttering I can't believe I gotta get him drink for Mitch I couldn't hear the whole show he was

just like what the fuck it was her idea what am I a butler you just got knifed cesser you're also whack on this one yeah not soft not hard just a whack right down the middle audience what are you guys is anyone first I guess who just everyone say whack if you thought whack anybody a snack and it's wow way off or a lot of people like it I can't tell wait can we do this again can we okay so oh no no no this will be good so I'll say whack and then like everybody I'll say who says whack and then everybody say whack and then no wait only if you think hold on hold on we're gonna game this I'll say who thinks who thinks this is whack everyone you get all you guys say whack

regardless of what you think regardless of what you think yeah regardless of what you think and then and then when I say who thinks it's a snack no one say anything except for Scott you just say snack like kind of quietly all right this is gonna be good all right what do you guys think who thinks whack and uh anyone out there thinks snack snack oh my god it worked it worked he was right all right so the edit point is just about it we'll edit it this will just be for you guys the the listeners will never know um hey we're gonna fake news the listeners I can't stand for that this podcast is about the truth I thought it was about chain restaurants kind of that was snack or whack hey so guys so we're gonna get the feedback we're gonna take some

questions I think there's a mic circulating potentially what is the mic situation here we're just gonna bring people up do we have is there a mic that someone's gonna bring around yeah there it is we got a mic is being a mic is circulating hey it's our engineer Emma give it up for everyone so uh if you have Emma if you don't mind helping us out if you have a question go raise your hand and we'll walk over to you hi right there hi what's your name hi i'm matty hi how are you i'm i'm good how are you oh we're doing great i'm a little tired so i just had a serious question um we're in the middle of a serious turbulent debate about straws in this country wow who and i just i just wanted to know your opinion does um

does a straw have one or two holes whoa oh this is a good question that's a great question two is my vote because i could imagine a straw that one side was closed and you be like there's only one hole in the straw i like that answer yeah also you know like since the straw that the holes are on the same plane oh jesus oh yeah plane smart but with a bendy straw you can bend it i'm going two holes as well brave you know i mean like hey boo you got a mouth you got a butthole you don't count that as one wow good point good point

good question although in a way what is your path jesus what is your path from your mouth to your sphincter but a bendy straw good point something about crazy straw down there i don't know this this is like a zen comb it's like a it's like how what it's like it's like oh what is the sound of one hand clapping it's like a it's like a thing to meditate on so like if it was we won't get to another question like if it was saying it's closed off so it's just like a tube a cylinder you poke one and then you have the option to poke another make a straw right or the option to not and be a madman it's up to you yeah agreed i think two holes one at each end that's that's i think that's yeah everyone knows where they are one on the top one in this

two one at the top one in the middle all right the old lager straw looks like we answered two questions uh and any other question i thank you so much maddie that was fantastic someone else hi hello hi what's your name brandon hi brandon hello so i'll let's talk about hot dogs i'm wondering what you guys think is the sexiest food or meal oh sexiest food or meal because a hot dog looks like a dick that makes a lot of sense yes hot dog is too big for first of all that's too big too long it's too long yeah that's yeah it makes you don't know anything about that so you were having a hard time hand i went off on a tangent to weigur about how the statue of david

gets made fun of too much right people are like he's got a small penis his penis is pretty nice it's pretty big it's a fine flaccid penis it looks fine it's big and he's in fantastic i'm telling you a lot of guys got birds next down there a lot of the time this is the truth it's not let's not go crazy with big what's it's i didn't i don't i mean it's not i mean it is really i've seen it it's big literally okay it is big because he's a giant man because he's a giant yes so first of all out the window already i'm right second of all it's decent sized i'm sorry are we talking about food because my answer is ice cream oh wait the statue announcement what i forgot about my big announcement oh boy this leads right into it yeah how did you forget

that that was the biggest thing you had to do i had to do all my material about being at a comic club i want to go on about the statue everything but fine no no no you go after the question i just think everyone should lay off the statue of david it's a good size right it's big all right susan go ahead well does anyone have an answer to what is the sexiest food yeah ice cream ice cream any weiger you know i don't i don't feel i don't feel sexy eating it's fucking disgusting i feel the rose eating always so gross i i get i sweat i snort i don't want the i don't want a girl this when i'm on a date i don't want the girl to see me feeding myself yeah i mentioned really bad i mentioned this before but like one thing i like about the whole coke and sex tape is

careful i don't know i do i look i don't like the the racial slurs he's throwing around wow good for you nick i don't like the fact that i mean whatever they've got some sort of consensual weird hot wifing arrangement that i'd want i don't know what exactly what's going on with that but the it's the only thing i've seen in any media that addresses the phenomenon of being too full to fuck like every like in any movie any tv show you've never seen someone like eating too much of a meal and being like oh god and that one he's just like oh i had so much sushi oh i couldn't believe it that's like a relatable feeling it's insane all of this mating stuff all the mating should be done before you go out right anyone who you hear was out on a date

tonight you might go home and don't do it just go to bed right go to bed they're really filled up on these orial things but anyway uh yeah i don't think any food is sexy but go ahead susser you got a big announcement my big announcement guys so as you know besides just being a frequent guest i'm also commissioner of the tournament of chompians and any other stupid event thank you thank you great and well it's summer which of course means it's time for the evan susser ice cream invitational applause this is a great thing it's a great thing it's going to be figured out in the next day or so what exactly it means literally it literally has to be figured out within 24 hours there are gonna be

episodes there's gonna be ice cream we're gonna be getting to the bottom of it we're gonna say what's the best ice cream it's not a full tournament don't get too excited it'll be like an abbreviated a short bracket that'll take place over one week's worth of episodes where we're gonna have a two weeks a bit of a superman contest of ice cream what yes right yes a super i am so fucking smart i'm sorry kind of an exhibition right uh so we're very excited about it all of us are very excited about it yes it's not something that anyone had to be convinced about no or had to no one was worried and yelled out applause when he announced it it's gonna be very good right so that's coming soon it's a little treat for the live audience that you know about it the evan

susser summer of 2018 ice cream invitational hell yeah look forward to that with with with merch to be made and sold right all right we'll talk we'll talk about that later i was gonna say like oysters aren't they an aphrodisiac that's what they say i just kind of gross i know it's so fucking i can't imagine eating oysters and then like i get filled up on oysters and then yeah yeah that's disgusting yeah twelve oysters then fucking eating much some box there's like i'm not gonna exactly fucking weird that would be like my oystery mouth oh my oystery mouth such a disgusting statement all right uh it's it's after midnight we got we got we'll take one more question then we got to wrap it up here any more questions at all anyone want to thank you for the question

that was a good question sorry we were bad at it hey maybe no one oh i see in the back in the back there i see one arm waving in the very back of the room in the show please i think this is the latest i've ever been up on a sunday night god you're such a loser so it's well oh five i know it's a school night uh hey god hi we have a question back there hi do you have the mic yet hey hold it hi hi what's your name hey it's kyle hi kyle you're talking about he's a child hey buddy you got the mic you okay i can't see back there you thought i was a little kid no i didn't think all right if it was a little kid he has some very irresponsible parents keeping you off this late on the school night not bad summer it's fine if it was like a twelve-year-old

who cares all right sorry what was your question kyle yeah i do have a favorite sandwich spot in ooh that's a good question you know a lot of people say bay cities over on the west side fantastic sandwiches over there great great sandwiches i think you know i really like langers deli i mean that they've got some great great sandwiches over there uh what what do you guys think of what comes to mind for me one of my number ones is potato chip deli which is near here actually if you haven't gone it's really really good it's like behind the grove basically check it out yeah someone knows it potato chip deli check it out it's great it's it's one of my favorites my my favorite was the now closed ink sack oh yeah i think that was a lot of fun uh and

then i'm kind of looking i don't consider deli places i don't consider sandwich yeah i agree so i like uh recently reviewed ikes but i don't know i'm looking for a good sandwich i am looking for recommendations as well so if you want to start a relationship with me and let me know where you like to eat sandwiches that'd be great and i'm so sorry norm does anyone have a sandwich spot we didn't say an la sandwich spot believe so i mentioned earlier yes of course i got and then there's coals of the the other one that claims to sense said okay okay brother sandwiches all right now everyone shut up you ask i know no that was that's that's that's that's great those those would get answers but i don't i don't get spots i don't consider a french dip like a sandwich

spot though i mean i know it's a sandwich i'm just saying i'm saying that i like you got to have a lot of different options i mean i feel like that's pedantic but i get what you're saying end the show for god's sake yeah i know yeah let's the energy is at the lowest level it's been all night it's time to wrap things up time to end with this big announcement we should have ended with we should end with a fucking fuck question we were going nuts for that it's my one last question no no one barely even had a third one all right we're done uh guys thank you so much for coming out i want to give a big thanks to our guests big thanks to evan susser oh yeah commissarer give it up to the knife alana johnston oh my god thank you to emma thank you to emma our engineer until next time

for the spoon man mike mitchell i'm nick weigher happy eatin see ya thanks guys hey guys you want more dough boys to get the dough boys double our weekly bonus episode join the golden plate club sign up at patreon.com slash dough boys that was a hate gun podcast