Doughboys - Pizza Hut 4 with Neil Campbell and Mitra Jouhari

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

Neil Campbell (@neilerdude) and Mitra Jouhari (@mitrajouhari) of Digman join the 'boys to talk favorite ice cream spots, Avatar, and the new season of Digman before a review of Pizza Hut. Plus, another edition of Snack or Wack.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://movieweb.com/fantastic-four-director-josh-trank-landed-in-movie-jail/https://weminoredinfilm.com/2015/05/02/fired-the-strange-story-of-josh-trank-simon-kinberg-the-fantastic-four-star-wars/https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/inside-a-star-wars-firing-792933/https://collider.com/fantastic-four-2015-josh-trank/https://www.polygon.com/2020/5/5/21246679/josh-trank-capone-interview-fantastic-four-chronicleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash doughboysmedia. Agent Nate Russo returns in Oracle 3, Murder at the Grand View, the latest installment of the gripping Audible original series. When a reunion at an abandoned island hotel turns deadly, Russo must untangle accident from murder. But beware, something sinister lurks in the Grandview's shadows. Joshua Jackson delivers a bone-chilling performance in the supernatural thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat.

Don't let your fears take hold of you as you dive into this addictive series. Love thrillers with a paranormal twist? The entire Oracle trilogy is available on Audible. Listen now on Audible. In an early table setting sequence of the 1995 techno thriller The Net, star Sandra Bullock is shown logging on to the website Pizza.net to order home pie delivery. It's one of those depictions of near-futurism made to look quaint by the actual future. Bullock, as Angela Bennett, types in her order with a computer keyboard and views the confirmation on her CRT monitor in angel-fire adjacent web design.

Back in the 90s, the decade when many of you young fucks listening to this were born, only about one in three US households owned a PC, and only about one in six had internet access. Yet still, online pizza delivery wasn't just the domain of a sexy sci-fi computer programmer caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse that functioned as a neo-Luddite morality play. In fact, in 1994, a year before the net showed why you shouldn't bank on Dennis Miller's acting chops, an actual website launched that allowed actual humans to order actual pizza provided you lived in its sole test market of Santa Cruz, California.

The site developed by the world's second largest pizza chain was called Pizza Net. Lose the dot, it's cleaner. Its crude grayscale interface designed for early web browsers that couldn't render inline images, presented a text menu and a web form where users could type in their pizza preferences and address. Payment was cash on delivery. The movie The Net, which released the same year muscle nerd cue ball Jeff Bezos created Amazon.com, included a Bullock monologue that could have been a description of what Amazon and all e-commerce would become. They knew what I ate. They knew what I drank.

They knew what movies that I watched. They knew what cigarettes I used to smoke. They must have watched on the internet. I don't know. Watched my credit cards? Our whole lives are on the computer. That prescient insight now conveniently extends to order history on your choice of countless pizza delivery sites and apps. But the OG, Pizzanet, is still hosted in archive at its corporate parents URL. This week on Doughboys's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy's Doughboy cohost, Count Orelok, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell.

Yes. Little Nosferatu nod. Yeah, which the only thing I know about that is that he has, doesn't Count Orelok have a big hog, you know what I mean? I would call it unremarkable. Unremarkable? They show his hog, but it's like medium. It wasn't enough of a choice.

It's like right in the middle of the bell curve. And it's like, it would have been funny if they had like a really small hog or like it would have been like, you know, maybe also funny or kind of spooky if you had a huge hog or just a weird hog, but it's just like kind of unremarkable. With Mitch potentially having Draculaitis, I thought she should have a proper Dracula name. Love the podcast. Everyone involved with it is fantastic. Keep up the excellent work. Matt, the mail carrier in Southern Oregon. Matt, I say to you, keep up the excellent work. Yeah, thank you for carrying the mail. Thank you for carrying the mail.

What a noble pursuit. That includes our guests today of people who are doing a great job. I think that that's- I guess you're doing a great job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Wags, happy 4 Fourth of July Eve. Yes, we're recording this episode. We'll be out one week from today. We're recording it on the eve of Fourth of July. And we were saying the head gum. Uncle Sam is getting prepared right now. Yeah.

And Aunt Sam. Does he have, is Aunt Sam his wife? There should be an Aunt Sam. Would you say, is it his wife? Yeah, his aunt and uncle have the same name, right? Or is it just, oh yeah, or is it just, yeah, is it just like his, or is it sister? It could be a sister.

Could be a sister. Could be a sister. There's not enough lore to Uncle Sam, I feel like. Oh wait, how about both? His wife and sister? Yeah, incestuous thing. So on this day in 1776, the founding fathers are kind of plucking quills out of crows right now.

I need something to sign with tomorrow. That's how they had to run out and get a quill from a crow? Oh my god. You know what? Thank you to those Founding Fathers. What a country they created. What a legacy. Yeah, I think there should be,

I say Uncle Sam is probably the worst of the, is he worse than the Easter bunny? Like where would you put him? Is Uncle Sam worse than the Easter bunny? I think yeah, probably yes. He's a military recruiter. That's not great, I want you to propagate yes. He's a military recruiter. That's not great. I want you to propagate that.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't mind his fit. It's kind of fun. Yeah. It's like a fun costume, but I think Easter Bunny's more fun. How about like, I guess, like what else is in his tier?

Like Tooth Fairy? Tooth Fairy's not attached to a holiday though. Do you know in London, it's Uncle Samwise? Do you know that? Hmm, from Lord of the Rings? That's why? I was just trying to make it seem like there's other Uncle Sams across the globe,

and there's not. He really lends himself to stilt wearers. That is true. It's not a lot of other costumes where you're like, yeah, the stilt guys love that. You're looking at it and you're like, that makes sense for some reason. So maybe that does move him up a notch. Would you say he's worse than Easter Bunny?

Yeah, I think so. What is the deist thing? Worse than Easter Bunny? Yeah, I mean the military recruiter thing alone. That's true. It's just so jingoistic, right? It's just, you know, it's not a great look. Easter Bunny rules. Yeah. Easter Bunny's fun.

Easter Bunny doesn't rule. It brings candy. It's kind of fun. It does. Okay. Yeah, it's candy for you to find. Uncle Sam never hid candy for me. That's true. That's true. I also think that just like the laying eggs aspect

of the Easter Bunny is a fun bit of lore. Uncle Sam doesn't do that, I don't think. Easter Bunny though, wasn't he voiced by Russell Brand? That is true. That's not great. Yeah. And Uncle Sam hasn't had a Pixar type movie yet. So.

Is he married to Betsy Ross? I think maybe he was married to Betsy Ross. Just hooking up. They were just hooking up. Okay. George Washington was into it. Oh. Sick.

Those three, those are probably, those three together would move up my fictional character chart. Yeah, nasty ass is slipping and sliding around. Yeah. Wags, how are you? Are you good? I'm hanging in there. Yeah? Yeah, how about you? Good.

I went and saw Brokeback Mountain the other night. How'd you, what'd you think? I love that movie. I'd never seen it before. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Yeah. How about you? Good. I went and saw Brokeback Mountain the other night. How would you think? I love the movie. I'd never seen it before. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Yeah. Great film. It was great. What a picture. It's very sad. It's really sad. It's really, really sad. It's one of the only movies that's ever made me cry. Yeah. Great movie.

It made me tears. Yeah. It's great. I had never seen it. I had never seen it. Profound humanity and then just gorgeously shot. I went to an 11 p.m. showing at City Walk. Yes. That is a late, broke back mountain. Yeah. Was it packed? Yeah.

You know what? It was. Wow. That was the crazy thing. It was like a pretty packed theater. And then there were two people who were like, I moved my seat because there were two people were talking the whole time where I'm like,

a 20-year-old movie, you're going to talk during the, like, why are you coming to this movie? It wasn't Jack and Innis, was it? No. All right. Yes, no, it was. No. You were moving closer to see that. What are these guys saying?

They're on the screen. They keep talking. I got to move my seat to try to hear better. Jack Twist and Innis something or other. Del Mar? Innis Del Mar, yeah. It was great. My roommate and I, one time in New York, looked up on YouTube, broke back mountain gay moments

because we wanted to watch them kiss. Less than you would think. Less than you could think. There's not a lot to get horny over in the movie. No, I thought it was going to be like a 20 minute long compilation. There is a very horny, yeah, it's like maybe five, maybe not even five minutes.

It's very short. It was short. Ture than I wanted. Jack Twist, Jack Nasty. I love that movie. The second time, I saw it twice in theaters and the second time in Fairfax, Virginia, some probably teenagers got up,

screamed the F word and walked out. Oh no. Like you paid. Like. Yeah, they seem to have maybe even brought there by their girlfriends. I see. Oh, yeah.

So they wanna show how straight they were. Yeah. That's insane. I mean, I was thinking there was a lot of like, I was like, there were so many, the country was homophobic to just 20 years, very homophobic, I mean, still homophobic, like 20 years ago, it was like,

man, broke back mountain, you see? Like it was like so much Jay Leno shit, like hacky, brokeback mountain jokes. And I was shocked that it was only 20 years old. I thought it was like before the millennia, but... Well, the Annie Prue story probably predates the millennium. That is true. Thank you, Neil. We call him the source material.

That's a great book of short Neil. Call them the source material. I like that's a great book of short stories to Wyoming stories. Wow. Under read it. Check it out. It's good. Four or four and a half out of five on to put it into the letterbox scoreboard. That's what I would say for four and a half or four and a half. Yeah, it's good. Would you say full five?

But I also don't do star ratings. Yeah, that's the way. I mean, you shouldn't do star. What's a five if you're going, if that's a four and a half? I mean, it's close to a, I haven't thought about it that much. I don't know, it was really good. Four for me is really,

four or four and a half is great for me. You're a tough grader. What about blood, sweat and beers? Five. What did you give the new mission impossible? Four. Okay, all right. Four, yeah, four, maybe four and a half.

I liked it, I liked it a lot. Yeah. There is one, there is that, the first hookup is horny. It is like a- In the tent? In the tent, yeah. So if you look, if you search first hookup, you'll find some good stuff. Oh, I know.

I did. Yeah. She didn't say that the result was incomplete. I said I wanted more. There should be, yeah, there should be more. I'm sure there's some extended footage. You can probably reach out to Ang Lee and try to find some footage.

You got the raw footage. Yeah. Emma, let's hit them with a drop. You can probably reach out to Ang Lee and try to find some footage. You got the real footage. Emma, let's hit him with a drop. It just reminded me that I thought of a Secret of the Ooze parody song. Hold on, I can maybe think of it before the end of the episode. I'll try to think on it. Several months later.

I just remembered what that parody song was. Oh, God. You just remembered that? Yes. Let me just say this to any potential droppers out there. If you can stitch together Mitch trying to remember that parody song and then him thinking of the parody song just now, that will be a drop. You get the drop. One eternity later. Slashing like shredders, and I guess that's why they call it the Moose.

Do you remember I was trying to graduate? Ugh. That sucks when you have to hear you be unfunny for a minute and a half. That was only 30 seconds. Oh, well, it felt a lot longer. You know what? Opposite of the horniness from Brokeback Mountain. I wish there was less of that and more of the hooking up. Hi, Doe fam.

Almost a year after Weiger's request on the Munch Madness Taco Bell round three episode with Tony Charlene Ramos, here is Mitch trying to remember, stitched with him remembering his, that's why they call it the ooze parody. Shout out in the Doe score to Totoro for helping find the request episodes in the Drop King's to Totoro for helping find the request

episodes in the Drop King's Drop Labs channel for feedback. Cheers, Thomas. Wow. Latent tickles in the Dose Corps. Funny we bring up Totoro. Am I saying it incorrectly? No, no, no, you're gonna get it. One of our guests, I know one of our guests

is a huge Totoro fan and I think our second guest also is if I had to guess. Yeah. In your Totoro fan? Yeah. That our second guess also is, if I had to guess. Yeah. Are you and you're a Totoro fan? Yeah. That's the celebrity I get confused with the most. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Drops at birdfuck.com. Oh yeah, drops at birdfuck.com. Our guest today, returning to the show, but for the first time as a duo from Digman, new season out July 23rd on Comedy Central

right after South Park, Neil Campbell, Meeja Johari, thank you so much for being here. Yeah, thank you for having us. So happy to be back. Is that a turtle on your hat? Yes. I love it. I got it at the Long Beach Aquarium gift shop.

Oh wow. There you go. I remember when the Long Beach Aquarium was built because I grew up in the area and it was like, there was a time I was like, oh, this is a boondoggle. What are they building this for? But then you go down, there's a lovely aquarium. Great aquarium. It's so great. Does that also have an aviary? Is that also an aviary? there was a time was like this is a boondoggle. What are they building this for? But then you go down there's a lovely aquarium There was a there was a general I remember in the Long Beach press telegram the local paper

There was like some like opinions that were like hey, why are we building this thing? This is a waste of taxpayer money What are we doing this for? It's like there's so many aquariums already Why do we need to compete with Monterey or whatever? But then they build it and it's like it's great It makes a lot of sense really cute great. Great gift shop, did some damage, went immediately after across the street to Bubba Gump's and ate shrimp. Wow.

It's all disgusting to do that, but really good. I wonder if there's an underground tunnel from the aquarium to Bubba Gump's. Would be sick. They still have otters there? Seen the otters? Yeah, they're really cute. The otters are cute.

Yeah. And like the aviary, right? Where like a bird will come land on your shoulder? Yeah, I didn't go in because the line was so long, but I did see the birds. Pretty cool to see a bird. The one of the song, the parody song, is I guess what I call the ooze, in a turtle hat.

There's a lot of connections going on. Mitch, there are connections all over. I just wanted to say there's some connections going on. And also, a bird landing on the shoulder. I know a rat jumped on your shoulder once at UCB. A rat jumped over my shoulder. Oh, okay. I was, this was the rear bathroom in the,

like the end of like the dressing room, that like not open to the public. And it was a morning, cause I was the artistic director at the time. It was like my first couple of months on the job. So it's like 2008. And I went there to sit down and do my business. And I kept hearing like a skittering kind of noise. I was like, what is that?

And then, uh, I rat jumped over my, as I'm sitting on the toilet, a rat jumped from behind me over my shoulder, arcing and then landed on the floor in front of me and like ran and the door was closed so it was like stayed in the bathroom with me and just like hid behind the trash can and I went whoa and I was still I had to finish up and then I believe you told me this but didn't jump on your head and then it controlled you to wipe yourself? Yeah, yeah. I think I was good, yeah. And I sort of like fell in love,

and it taught me a lesson and stuff. Yeah. No, and then I, you know, I reached over and like opened the door and it ran, and then turned and went straight up the wall and into like a hole in the wall, probably leading into Bird's Kitchen, where it probably started making a meal. So... and into like a hole in the wall, probably leading into Bird's Kitchen,

where it probably started making a meal. So... Damn, I would cry. Yeah, it was pretty... It was like the size of a brick. It was a big, big boy. That rat's on a Harold team now. It's really good.

Long Beach down by the pier, they got the Long Beach Aquarium, and they also got the Queen Mary. It's docked there, you can walk around and it's haunted. You know how I feel. They should sink that haunted ship. More like Queen Scary. Yeah.

And then there's also the Howard Hughes' actual boondoggle, the Spruce Goose, which is on display under, yeah. Actually, maybe they moved it, but for a long time it was displayed under a big dome there. A lot of fun. Big wooden plane that flies in the aviator. And let's not forget the hotel that we faked as being a Mexican resort for Jake and Amy's honeymoon

in Brooklyn 99. Of course. Yeah. I was down there filming for a few days. I wonder what Kyle Murphy was doing during all that. By working for his nefarious uncle. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

My mom watched that episode, and it was the very, this was before we had video, it was the first time she'd seen you. Wow. And she texted me, he is cute. Nice. Dreamy. Cute.

Mrs. Weiger. All right, easy. I know you're taken. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. That is making me blush over here. Neil, last time we had you on, we reviewed Salt and Straw, which we will be revisiting on an upcoming episode. Amitra, I'm wondering if you have any thoughts on Salt

and Straw, the ice cream parlor. It's never like my first choice. Yeah, what is your first choice? I mean, my actual first, if I could have anything, it would be Graters, which is a chain in Cincinnati, Ohio And they have huge chocolate dark chocolate chunks an incredible waffle cone black raspberry chocolate chip is kind of the classic and it's just Incredible homes ground ice cream chain graders with a T or D T DRAE

TERS graders So that's like my actual favorite but really I but really, just like an ice cream truck soft serve is like my favorite. Oh, sure. Or like a Dairy Queen swirl. How about McDonald's? I like, uh. McDonald's cone?

Yeah, I think that's like a good vanilla soft serve. Sorry. Don't be sorry. I know, I'm just kidding. I've had a few people recently be like, oh, don't you, like isn't magpies that stink? And I'm like, what's with this, everyone's trying to get me to speak ill of ice cream.

I love all ice cream. Yeah. I know, every one of these places, if I went there and I was like, ooh, I want ice cream, and I got some, I was like, yes, that was good. It's kind of how I feel. We'll get into it with Pizza Hut,

but it's kind of like what they say about pizza, a pizza which is wrong, which isn't all pizza is good, is actually maybe more true about ice cream, which is like, basically like even like the shittiest ice cream you get is still pretty fucking good. Yeah. Yeah, I've never, oh, I also love Mastry Malone's. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, I've never been to Mastry Malone's. Right around the corner here, huh? You should definitely go. I know, I gotta go. It's really good. But I love like a rose water ice cream. Yeah, sure. Ice cream's like my favorite.

Any ice cream I'll be happy. But I'm never like craving salt and straw the way I would crave other ice cream places. They have a lavender and what's the other element? Lavender and honey they do with salt and straw. Not all ice cream is good. The stunt flavors are bad. I don't love stunt flavors.

I agree with you. It's not necessarily every ice cream flavor, but there's not like a chain that I'm like, ugh. Right, or even a novelty. It's something off of a truck, pretty much everything. There's nothing I'm gonna sneeze at. I've been going to the pool and there's a little ice cream truck right there

and I've just been getting like a swirl cone every day. Oh my God. Kind of the perfect day. Yeah. Sounds like my childhood. Makes me feel like a baby. The ice cream I like the least. I think that we've talked about the one that I like the least.

I was hard on Salt and Straw for a while, and then I do like Salt and Straw. Yeah, me too. Their chocolate brownie was really good. Yeah. It's supposed to have chunks of brownie in it, because I didn't have it. I went and I didn't get any chunks of brownie

in the damn thing. That's not right. I had extra in mine. What the? That's probably, the one that I, the ice cream place, I think is not great ice cream is Cold Stone. I think that it's like, do you like it? I like Cold Stone. I've actually been to a Cold Stone.

Maybe once a long time ago, yeah. I guess there's certain ones that just aren't in my rotation. I'm sure you can get good stuff at Cold Stone if you order correctly, I feel. once a long time ago, yeah. I guess there's certain ones that just aren't in my rotation. I'm sure you can get good stuff at Cold Stone if you order correctly, I feel like. I'd rather go to a place like in the Salt and Straw tier than a Cold Stone, but I do like Cold Stone. I also still like Baskin-Robbins.

And I was just at a Rite Aid that's closing in like three days, so like all the shelves are empty. It was like totally apocalyptic, but they had like a freezer full of thrifty ice cream. I was like, man, I do like that thrifty ice cream they have there. Yeah. What are they replacing?

Let me guess, some sort of tech company? Yes, Mitch, I believe a tech company is going in there. The drug from the William Shatner novel Tech War. Which I know from a sketch he did at UCB Theater. Was that, oh, it was NUKE also. I think NUKE, I think you talked about tech. No, it was definitely tech. Yeah, you're right, you're right. But did you talk about NUKE in another?

Yeah, probably. Isn't NUKE the Robocop? NUKE's like the Robocop 2 or Robo, yeah, drug, yeah. Yeah, I love made up 80s drugs. So. We'll never tech work in that. Which is this, is this on the west side, this Rite Aid that's closing?

Yeah. OK. Yeah. Yeah, you always talk about, you've talked about Rite Aid ice cream for a long time. We've never done it on the show It is we should do a thrifty ice cream episode at some point, but there we the chain used to be called thrifty Yeah, and then they retain they have it's just a pharmacy. It's like a CVS But they have like like, you know ice cream there like everything has gotten shittier So now it's like they don't have anyone actually working there

So you have to bother some other employee if you want to get ice cream. Like a real fat fuck. It sucks. But they, but the ice cream is still the same quality. But yeah, they rebranded it. When you walk in there, they probably know that you want the ice cream.

Yeah. I also love Trader Joe's French vanilla. Just that open carton is really good. Have you guys ever worked at an ice cream place? No. I did. What you did? Really? Because we know you worked at Pizza.

Yes, and I'll get into some of the pizza and stuff. When I was in college, the summer before I graduated, I... And was that the summer you turned pretty? Yes, it was the summer I turned pretty. And then when did you turn gorgeous? Right at the end of that summer, then it kind of all regressed back to, the fall I turned back to, back into a troll.

But there was this local, like old style, like independent drug store that had a soda fountain in it. This is in Iowa City, Iowa. It was called Pearson's. And a bunch of cute girls worked there. And I was like, I like the malts and stuff there. I was like, I wanna work there. And I knew one of the girls that worked there

and she put in a word and I got the job. And I was like so stoked because it was a pretty like sleepy little thing. And then maybe a week or two after I got there, they were like, well, we can't stay in business anymore. An independent drug store can't really stay in business anymore. And so they announced they were closing lines out the door

every day after that. And so like, I only had like, only worked there maybe like a month and a half. And so it was a little less like straight up ice cream and more like making malts, making milkshakes, you know, phosphates, stuff like that. And yeah, I would just go in every day and I'd like go in on my roller blades

and like roller blade through the drug store. I was like, hey, everybody, I'll be out in a sec. Like take off the blades, come out with my hat on backwards and stuff and like make malts and stuff. And then- Yeah, 1950s style. Really. And then, but then, yeah, then went out of business.

I worked there maybe like six to eight weeks and then lines out the door every day for people getting their final malt. Wow. But then it was like on the local news and news. I was trying to look it up, but you have to get one of those subscriptions to like. Like the local paper.

Yeah, like, but not even like the paper itself, like a weird archive thing. And I might do it just to look it up. But I know my photo is like in the Iowa City Press Citizen and stuff. That's awesome. You know what? When the pretty girls find a shop to work at,

I don't like it. Why? Because it gets me too anxious going in there. I don't like when it's all the pretty girls working there. I'm not going to go into that shop. It's too intimidating to me. I can't go in. I can't get into the, I can't go in there.

I was actually in a salt and straw and it was like. Was it the pretty girls salt and straw? Well, no, here's the thing. So it was, they were all like teen girls, like they were much younger girls, like they're college age or high school, like girls working there. And it was like, I was the only customer in the store. And so I went there and I tasted a few of their flavors

and I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go with vanilla. And they go like, oh, bold choice. He's getting vanilla. They start fucking bullying me. This is the issue. It's humiliating. That's the issue with the, these are like the popular,

these popular girls. You can't, you know. It's scary. They're mean girls. Yeah. You're just scared of them your entire life. There's never a period, like, when you're younger than when you're the same age, and then you're older, you're thinking to be over it, like, no, still afraid.

Awful. There was a coffee show. You know what? Do you know Mary Luz? That always has. That's like where like a... That's where the like big titted girls work. That's 100%.

Am I allowed to say that? No, 100% you're allowed to say that. I give you permission to say that. That was like the thing though, it was like Mary Luz, she's 100%. Am I allowed to say that? No, 100% you're allowed to say it. I give you permission to say that. That was the thing, though, was Mary Lou's is where all the hot college girls work all summer when they're home from school.

Wait, but what's Mary Lou's? It's a coffee shop. Is it in the East Coast? Yeah, it's a sugary coffee shop. They have a lot of crazy-flavored coffees and stuff. Yeah. I don't need those big titties. I just need a cup of coffee. That's what I say to them when I walk in the door. crazy flavored coffees and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I don't need those big titties.

I just need a cup of coffee. That's what I say to them when I walk in the door. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's too much for me. It's, I don't like even when there's a,

I don't like even, I want someone to work at a place and not have any friends there and just leave, you know, go and put your eight hours in and then leave. And so when I walk, and when I talk to you, I know that there's, you know, I don't want judgment. You don't leave. And so when I taught you, I know that there's, you know, I don't want judgment. You don't want them having any fun. Yeah, no fun while you're working.

Like, I'm an Amelia. Yeah. Yeah. The, they're actually, that is the thing in the Pacific Northwest, right? Like the hot baristas. It's like they have the drive through coffee shops and they're wearing bikinis.

That's in Land Man. Have you guys watched that TV show? I haven't seen Land Man. I've only seen clips of that show and it seems insane. I only watched like two episodes, and it's like, all right. Was that the show where like, it's, it's, uh, what's his name? Angela, Angelina Jolie's ex. Billy Bob Thornton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Billy Bob Thornton, and then it's like his daughter

being like talking about cum to his, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the clip I saw. What's it called? I've got to check this out. Landman. Landman. Landman. Landman. Landman.

But today we're talking about Dig Man. We are talking about Dig Man. And we're talking about come. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Wait, what we're talking past, you know, past episodes of the podcast, Micho, we talked fazoles with you. Those are our first experience with fazoles. We had quite a haul of fazoles. It was. We haven't gone back either yet. We have not gone back. But you've gotta go back.

That's what I was gonna ask. Have you made any return visits? No, I haven't. Only because it's so far. It really is. It was a 45 minute drive. It was out there, wasn't it? It was horrible traffic too when I went.

It took me two hours to get there from where I live. But I do think if I was over there, I would go again. It's so nostalgic. Like I feel the exact same way of going, now that I did them. It was great. It just felt good. We liked it.

We liked Fasoli. It was fun. We had a good time. Have you ever been? I don't think I've, maybe somewhere, if there's some in the Midwest, maybe I've crossed paths with one at some point. You've probably like driven past a sign for Fasolis.

Yeah, it's not impossible I've had a Fasolis experience. Right. Cause I know you went to school in Iowa, but I don't know if there's any in Iowa, like it feels like that's where fazoles would be, but I actually don't know. Yeah, yeah, I really don't know. It doesn't ring a bell. Where does, in the world of Italian food,

like is pizza the best or like, would you take like a pasta over it? Like what is everyone's favorite Italian dishes? Pizza doesn't even count. Pizza doesn't count? I mean, it does count. You think it's its own thing? Yeah.

Pizza counts. Amelia's giving me the eye because you think I'm trying to take credit away from Italians or something, is that what it is? Like does pizza count? Does pizza count? Does pizza count? I think it does.

I mean, I'm trying to think when you go to an actually like a nice Italian restaurant, there's frequently a pizza menu, but I probably still would go a pasta. I think I would too. As much as I like pizza, I think I like pasta more. Pizza is my favorite food in the world. Yeah, I totally get that.

But like, so if outside of pizza, what do you get, what are you getting? Yeah, I mean, pasta is second. I mean, like that's the, and then what else is there? Lasagna? A lot of times it's just like, what do you get? What are you getting? Yeah. I mean, pasta is second. I mean, like that, that's the, and then what else is there? Lasagna? A lot of times it's just like, what's the, I remember I was in Lawrence or something and it was like, the specialty was like a sort of lemony pasta. That's not necessarily what I would normally order.

And I got it. I was like, that's one of the best things I've had in my life. So lemony pasta can be delightful. Yeah. Yeah. So do you like some squid ink? Not when I'm chasing a squid. That's a great point.

At the aquarium? Yeah. Get back here. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. I don't know, I'm not huge on squid ink, but also cephalopods in general, I have weird things about eating. Yeah, sure. Is that, well, see, I don't know how. I don't know on squid ink, but also cephalopods in general, I have weird things about eating. Yeah, sure. Is that, well, see, I don't know how. I don't know if it's an ethical way to harvest it. Is it from a sack or are they having

the squid shoot the ink out? I don't know how this works. I think they gotta jack them off. They gotta jack the squid off to get the ink. I kind of think they maybe blast it out in their, like, death throes. Oh, OK. Oh, so that's what it is.

So it's a particularly horrible death. Yeah. Got it. I'm actually not, I don't know that's how they play. I'm sure it's amazingly ethical. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Mitra, do you have a pizza, pasta? Do you have any favorite Italian dishes? There's this place in New York called Supper that has this pasta al limone, that limone, or however you say it, which is really just a lemon pasta that's so good.

But I'm always, I always love a pizza. I'm always so happy to have a pizza eat like, and I feel like I'm not always happy to have a pasta. It's like, if it's like presented, cause it can be too heavy, whereas a pizza you can just have the, you have the light, like a lighter, thinner crust.

And I'm always just excited about pizza. Yeah. Pizza is exciting. Sometimes I'm like, I don't wanna be like so sleepy cause I'm sleepy when I have pasta. Yeah. I'm not always sleepy when I have pizza. Yeah.

What do you do when you're sleepy? Cause I just feel this sometimes, what am I gonna, what do I do right now? You're a non napper. I can't really nap. Yeah, I'm not a napper either. I'm not either. And so I'm just like, what do I do?

You mean neither. I'm just tired now. I don't really nap. Yeah, I'm not a napper either. I'm not either. And so I'm just like, what do I do? I'm just tired now. I don't nap either, like the three of you. I never nap. I have to. When I've been like, I've had like a sleepless night or whatever, I have been able to nap. But like, I've taken like two naps this whole year. It's like very, it's very difficult.

Yeah, I'm similar. And then I'm just like, so like I get really tired. I was like, I guess I'm trying not to do afternoon coffee because that fucks up my sleep at night. And so I'm just tired. Yeah like I get really tired. And I was like, I guess I'm trying not to do afternoon coffee cause that fucks up my sleep at night. And so I'm just tired. Yeah. I guess you're just tired. Yeah, just something to complain about.

Eat a banana. What do you do when you're bored? Sometimes I just nap if I'm bored, you know? Is that strange? No. I feel like I have enough activities to entertain me if I'm bored. Yeah. I'm in like desperate need.

I should be texting you more often. I think have had hours lately where I'm like, if I had a video game I was into, I'd just be playing a video game right now. I have no energy to like go do something, a creative pursuit, but it's like three and I'm like not gonna start making dinner yet. Yeah.

I need to, yeah. You missed around with Bellatro? That's a real hours eater. OK, OK. Amelia perked up. TJ Bonanza comes out in a week or so. TJ Bonanza? TJ Switch 2.

TJ Bonanza. Yeah, well, maybe I'll try to get a Switch 2. Switch 2 is you'd have to get one. Inspire me. Yeah. I just started playing Stardew Valley this weekend. Oh, yeah. Love Stardew Valley.

Which is a very peaceful, chill game that you can just pick up or drop at any moment. I've been having a great time with it. Okay, okay. I'm an RPG, I like RPGs, but all I've done is Google, what are the good current RPGs? Have you like, Claire Obscura? That game's great.

Okay, okay. Game Rips. Really good story, very French. But Stardew Valley does have some RPG elements. There's a social element, it's like a town. Your character, the player character, has abandoned a cubicle life to go live at his grandpa's farm. And so you are, you know, like tending to the crops

and the livestock, and you're also socializing with people in town. You're also going into the mines to get resources and battle slimes, a little fantastical. You're fishing? It sounds lamb as hell. Mitch, it's so good. It's a little fantastical. You're fishing. It sounds lamb as hell. Mitch, it's so good. It's so fun.

It's so compelling. The soundtrack is really good too. The soundtrack is great. The music is very peaceful. All right, all right. It's just like, kind of like, you're just hanging out outside. It's really nice.

And it's a singular work of one individual. It's a solo dev, Eric Barone, AKA Concerned Ape, who did the music, did all the art, coded the engine, did all the game design, did all the writing. It's one of those things. All right. Sounds good.

This is really impressive. You would love it, but here's the thing. So Stardew Valley does, as I mentioned, has a social aspect. Part of that is romance. And so, um, no, I mean, like, you should play man. I love romance and games. There, there is a part of my first playthrough and I'm maybe you experienced this, but there's a, there's, but there's a dance that you have.

There's like a harvest dance, and you can go there, and you can ask your prospective partners to dance. I'm sorry, when you say social, does this mean you mean like with other real world people? Great question. It's with NPCs. It's with AI characters that exist in the game world.

Gotcha, gotcha. Yes, thank you for letting me clarify. So you're interacting with all these NPCs. It's a dance, youcha. Yes, thank you for letting me clarify. So you're in this, you're interacting with all these NPCs. It's a dance, you know, you spent the fall, or you spent like the spring, like, you know, growing vegetables and raising cattle. Chatting people up. You have this dance at kind of the end of the season

going into the next one, and you have an opportunity to ask people that you want to court to dance. And I went through and I asked every NPC I was interested in romantically to dance with me, and they all said no. Same, same. Same.

Same. Damn, dude. I thought, I thought I truly thought I did something wrong in the game. I was like literally, they were like ask people to dance. And I was like, okay. And then everyone said no. And I was like, did I fuck something up

with somebody supposed to say yes? Did you just watching everybody dance standing in the court by yourself. 13th reason. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You took your character into the Big Titty Coffee Shop

and they made fun of you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like Animal Crossing, it seems like it would be, it would take up a lot of time. It's very Animal Crossing. Similar, yeah.

Definitely similar. But it's a little, it's more But it's got more depth than animal crossing. Yeah. Do you think that the founding fathers, when they had to pluck a feather from a crow, did they also have to catch a squid to use for ink? Yeah, exactly. Oh, man.

That's crazy. Where else does ink come from? Yeah. That's a good point. Does ink come from any land animals? Are there any land animals that shoot ink? Pig. Pigs do.

It comes out their snouts. Yeah. Yeah. How do you harvest ink? Like actual ink? I guess from squids. I imagine that nowadays it's like synthetic. There are no land animals that shoot ink as a defense mechanism.

It's all sea creatures. And there is most when you get the ink from squids, it usually involves killing them. So there isn't really an ethical way to get it. Yeah. Mama. Love stuff. I hate to hear it. I did this to our, myself, I guess.

To you guys. I did to you guys. Sorry. Neil, on this topic, I know you've been eating more vegetarian for some time. Yes. How, like, how stringent are you on this? Do you have any flexibility or are you a trans-sicist? I'm pretty much pescatarian. Pescatarian, yeah. I started, I just was like, how stringent are you on this? Do you have any flexibility or are you- I'm pretty much pescatarian.

Pescatarian, yeah. I started, I just was like, let me try a week being totally vegan, totally plant-based. And I went like a couple of weeks, I was like, ah, okay, I think I might need some like eggs and cheese. Yeah, sure. In my diet and, or I don't want it to totally let those be the things that make me go,

nevermind, back to all meat. I was like, okay, I'll do vegetarian. And then I was just like, I won't stick with this unless I have like one escape route or whatever, one exception. And so then I was like, what would be the one thing? And I was like, eh, sushi. And so I went, I decided to make pescatarianism

my kind of, my one alternative to vegetarianism. No, we talked about this before about, you spent some of your childhood in Japan. Is that where you developed an infection for sushi? So you're pretty young age. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I was pretty good about trying things, even as a child.

And so, and my parents were great at like, taking us off base and going to like a local mama pop shop. And we try, you know, yakisoba and like, a lot of times you just get a little like fish, like a kind of, they still do it at like, or places like BCD Tofu House, where you just get that little like fried fish

with your meal. And so I'd try to like be navigating that with the chopsticks and stuff. Was there ever like a, like, was it the kind of thing where on the base, because I know they sometimes have American chains that are there for like a taste of home, was there like a Burger King there? Was there like a Chili's?

Yes, there was a place called Anthony's, this was Camp Zama in Japan. There was a place called Anthony's Pizza, and I think is what it was called. There was maybe a sub place, and I'm blanking on the name. And I think we is what it was called, there was maybe a sub place, and I'm blanking on the name. And I think we had Burger King. I can't remember, but we did not have McDonald's, but this other base that we'd play in Little League

named Otsugi, which I think is where Lee Harvey Oswald had once been stationed. Wow. When we'd go over to Otsugi, they had a McDonald's there. So that was, you know, we'd get our asses kicked in soccer or Little League or whatever. Or maybe we'd beat them, you know, they weren't McDonald's there. So that was, you know, we'd get our asses kicked in soccer or little league or whatever. Or maybe we'd beat them, you know, if they weren't dominant against us.

And then we'd, uh, then we'd go get a McDonald's as a treat afterwards, yeah. Wow. But I didn't really, I also was not a huge McDonald's kid. Mm-hmm. That pisses me off. Um, I just said, I said this the other day,

Demetra's heard me say this now twice, but you know there is like a Campbell McDonald's rivalry. And so, and after I puked eating McDonald's once, my parents were like filling me in on that. So maybe. Wow. There's like a, your family? Like the clans in Scotland.

Oh, wow. Wow. The Campbell's and the McDonald's don't get along. They don't get along. And that potentially is like your extended family tree. Exactly. Wow. The Campbells and the McDonalds don't get along. They don't get along. And that potentially is like your extended family tree. Exactly. And so that may have been, they may have been trying to poison me when I... when I threw up McDonald's orange juice when I was six.

I asked, I just recently, we were recording the 500th episode, and I texted you during this, whether there was a... chilies in Japan at the base that you're at. I knew it was Chili's, yeah. Because we got a question from someone who was, remember the question was,

Oh, that's right. The person who was stationed. We were looking at Yelp reviews and some of them were from, Yeah, there was a Chili's at some, it may be in Korea, a Korean Naval base. Yeah. Yeah, I Korean naval base. Yeah. Yeah, I remember this now.

Yeah, all the different bases seem to have different, different chains, different restaurants, but... But you did not have a Chili's on your base? No. Sorry. As far as I remember, but I'm fairly certain. Mitra, do you have any restrictions on what you will or won't eat?

Not anymore. I was veg for like a decade. Okay. And then I went to visit my family. Like, yeah, I think like 11 to like 21, I didn't really, I didn't eat meat. And then I went to visit family in Iran and everybody was making me like stews with meat and like meat based dishes. And I just was just like, what am I doing?

Yeah. And then started eating meat again. And then- Were they good as hell? They were so good. I mean, it was like, there was one meal where I had like seven aunts came and they all prepared, like, a full meal and gave me a full, like, entree-size serving of it.

So I had, like, kind of seven dinners at once. Oh, man. And then I cleared the plate and I was, like, the most full I've ever been. And then one of the aunts put, like, a huge, like, leg of something on my plate. And I started crying. I was like, I did like, I did my job.

And I looked at my dad and was like, please. Please. Please. But it was amazing. I mean, best food ever. But. We may have covered this in your previous appearance, but do you have any favorite Persian dishes

and or are there any Persian restaurants in LA you really like? Yeah. I mean, growing up, we used to go to this place in Cincinnati that's now closed called Caspian. And I like any place like that place that's like a small kind of family-owned hole in the wall. I feel like I haven't really found a place like that

that I love here in LA. I went to Azizam, which is not far from here, which was cool because I feel like you've got your classic places like Rafi's, which I really love, which are like, you're getting the kebab, you're getting like the Shirazi salad, like all the stuff you kind of recognize when you think about Persian food. And Azizam had a bunch of different types of dishes

that I personally had not had or had not had in Iranian restaurants. So that was really cool. And I think, what's it? I personally had not had or had not had an Iranian restaurant. So that was really cool. And I think, what's it? A Soufret in New York, I think is really good. They have a second restaurant that I can't remember the name of.

But I mean, it's hard to go and not like it, I feel like. Yeah, sure. And then Masjid Malone's and I think any, my favorite is Falou Deh, which is like sorbet kind of, but with rice noodles. And it's like really crisp and citrusy and it's like very refreshing on hot summer days. Sounds delightful.

Is Mashed Malone's, is it Persian? Is it a, oh cool, I had no idea. I, is there one that's on sunset like that way? Oh, cool. I had no idea. I... I... I... Is there one that's on Sunset, like, that way? Yeah, there's one in Slovak. Franklin and La Brea, and there's one... There's one, like, right here. There's one right around the corner.

Are these new? Are the Mashing Malones here new? Or, like, did they expand? They definitely expanded. I don't know when. That Sunset one was the original one, right? Like, the one over... The one on La Brea? Yeah, La Brea. I used to live around the corner from that one,

and I would go to it all the time, and it felt like it had been there for 100 years. Yeah, okay, yeah. Yeah, it's from Sunset La Brea, yeah. I've heard about, and they have like rose water, right? Like, yeah, I gotta try it. I've never tried mashed melons. Their milkshake is so good.

It has like really thick chocolate. Go after the pun. All right, hey. I'll go get a scoop. This guy loves ice cream. Yeah. Uh, one of Jon Stewart's directorial debuts, please. Uh, Gael Garcia Bernal playing an Iranian guy for one, please. With respect, of course.

Yes, with the most respect. With the most respect, of course. Um, I am going to crack this because I think this is, uh, so the most respect. With the most respect, of course. I am going to crack this, because I think this is so nasty. Yeah, so for people in the audio feed, we've got some spin drifts here. The Nohito, which is a lime and mint combo. Which you'd think would be awesome, but is disgusting. I love it.

This is a polarizing flavor. To me. Yes. No, no, totally. Totally. It's the materialists of spin drifts. It's like some I love it. This is a polarizing flavor. To me. No, no, totally. Totally, it's the materialists of spin drifts. It's like some people like it, some people really don't like it. I never thought that would be good, personally.

Yeah, and you don't care for it. I mean, I like a Mojito, the alcohol drink. Me too, a lot of fun. But mint in a, I don't need mint in a non-alcoholic drink, I feel like. I'm never excited to, a mint tea,alcoholic drink, I feel like. I'm never excited to, a mint tea, like a hot drink, that makes more sense to me, but cold mint drink,

I don't know. A mint lemonade? Mint lemonade is good. Man, it's a lot of fun. Why do you have to call me on my shit? You got him. What about mint? Mint milk?

Mint milk is pretty good. Wow, yucky you. But mint, mint shit. I don't pretty good. Wow. Yeah. But mint chip. Mint chip is legit. Have they done a mint coke? Have they ever done a mint coke before? I don't know if they've done a mint coke. I'm surprised they haven't. They'd make a mint.

They would make a mint. They would make a mint. That feels like an overseas flavor. Like they've done mint coke in Singapore or something. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. I don't know, but. I believe you.

Yeah. Do we, wait, have we tried the, do we have a mint chip? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I don't know.

I believe you. Wait, have we tried the nohito back there? No. No. Nohito. I don't know. Nohito. I also don't really like mint in non-fuzi drinks.

It's icky. I think it's great. But you pivoted it over to this thing. I guess you're right. I guess if there was water with lemon and mint, I think I'd be OK with it. But for whatever reason, maybe it's just the fact that it's mint flavor. And I know spin drifts are natural flavors, right?

But still it just feels like a strong mint taste. I don't want that. I don't mind it, but there's a lot of spin drift flavors where I'm like, one can's enough. I don't know that I'd be hydrating a lot throughout the day. Sure. Yeah. I'm pounding the lemon and grapefruit. Like, I didn't know that I'd be hydrating a lot throughout the day.

Sure, yeah. I'm pounding the lemon and grapefruit. I think they're so good. I think those are real good. Oh yeah, yeah. A lot of those, yes, yes. But there's some more weirder ones. I'm like, one, yeah, just one.

Yeah. The Arnold Palmer one's pretty good. I like that one. I like that one. Yeah. You guys are both on the show Digman. Yes. Yes.

Now. And it's not a coincidence we're here. the show Dig Min. Yes. Yes. Now. And it's not a coincidence we're here. That's also true. Yeah. Here's a question for you. What is the best food you have to dig for? Wow. Wow.

Wow. I thought that was a really good question. I think it is a good question. I actually will give an answer. I think. You're gonna say carrot? Carrot? Yeah.

Oh, you mean in the earth. I thought you meant the act of eating it was digging. Oh. Well, you know what? Now there's two questions. Because that one is. Potato. What's that?

Potato. Potato, I think, is my answer as well for digging. Any sort of tube. Clams? Yeah. Oh, clams are pretty good. Clams are pretty good. That's a great answer.

That's a great answer. Good answer. I mean, I think it'd go oyster over clams. Oy good. Clams are a pretty good answer. That's a great answer. Good answer. I mean, I think it'd go oyster over clams. Oyster, I think I would agree about oysters over clams as well. And that's the sort of thing, like just going back to pescatarianism. When I think about,

because I'm constantly reevaluating my own relationship with meat, and I try to eat less meat, I end up eating some, I certainly eat it for the podcast, but like I look at a fucking fucking oyster and I'm like, I don't know if you have a soul. Like I don't necessarily, I don't feel,

I have six oysters. What is the scenario where you're looking, oh, you're looking at them on your plate. Yeah, like, let's say I get six oysters on the half shell and having that as a little treat. I don't feel like I'm inhaling six souls. You know what I mean? Like, I don't feel like that's what I'm doing,

but maybe they do have an internality. Maybe they do have a consciousness. Maybe we just don't understand like I'm inhaling six souls. You know what I mean? Like, I don't feel like that's what I'm doing. But maybe they do have an internality. Maybe they do have a consciousness. Maybe we just don't understand what being alive really is. But I don't know. I mean, it feels like that's... No, I'm with you on that. I mean... It feels like maybe where I'll land, just to butt in my thought, is like, I feel like I might just ultimately land

on pescatarianism myself as I keep vacillating between being vegetarian, eating like some meat but not others. I certainly have some hard lines where like, I wasn't eating any pork for a long time. I wasn't eating, I still don't eat cephalopods. And I try to minimize my consumption of red meat. But sorry, go on. No, no, I was the only thing I was gonna say is like, I was doing like a food tour thing in Mexico City. And it was and we got to a market or whatever. It's like, all right, do you

want to eat ants and like crickets market or whatever. I was like, all right, do you want to eat ants and crickets and stuff? And I was like, well, I guess wood and Rome. I was like, I never really had considered where insects fall in the sort of scheme of things there. What were those bugs? Good. Didn't you say your tour guide was a frog though? Yeah, yeah.

It was sort of a food tour of like a swamp outside the city. Yeah. All right. That's, I, I, but- It was, sorry, it was Slippy Toad from Star Fox specifically, right? Yes. Okay, that's great, yeah.

Yeah. I, which would be confusing, you know, he does wear suits. That's true, Mitch, he does wear suits. He does wear a suit. So. Would those characters be considered poly? Because they are polygonal? Yes, because they're polygonal.

I think so, yeah. I think so. OK. I just want to make sure that characters in Star Fox are all poly. I think they are all poly. OK. Check out Digman. Look, usually there's a whole room of writers that if I say something like that, they can

kind of beat that and do something about it. So don't think the whole show is going to just be like that. I think that was unbeatable. I thought that was great. When I was in Mexico City, I went to Bujol, which is a great restaurant there. And they have, there's like a sit down that you can do like the omakase, which is the taco. They would do like a bunch of different tacos and that's what I did down that you can do like the omakase, which is the taco. They're do like a bunch of different tacos.

And that's what I did. Or you can do the sit down. I love just to interrupt real quick. I love an omakase. Yeah. A fun word too. A very fun to say, but anytime someone is just like picking everything, like you're making all the decisions.

I pay one rate and you're just going to give me a bunch of stuff like, great. It's the best. Sorry, keep going. And it was, it was with, it was paired with, what's the smoky tequila? Mezcal. Mezcal. It was a mezcal taste. I don't know, my brain doesn't work anymore.

You're doing great. But it was a mezcal taste, paired with mezcal, and I never liked mezcal, and the mezcal was good, but there were a lot of buggy ingredients. There was ant larva, and there were chapulinas. Is that what? Is that? There was like stuff like that in the tasting.

And it was like, you know, this is like one of the best restaurants in the world. And it was good, but normally bugs are, insects are hard for me to get over. I can't do the bugs. There's a mental hurdle there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Also like a fun food tour. I was like, yeah, I don't know how much I would make it part of my regular diet. Sure, yeah. And going back to the things we were talking about, Salt and Straw, Salt and Straw has all these weird flavors. They did have a bug series at the time. They had a bunch of mealworms and crickets in there.

And that, to me, that is maybe a bridge too far, because I was like, I will eat insects, but I feel like I don't need insects in my ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. It's almost, you know? Yeah, yeah. It's almost like your food. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny if you ask a fish or a bird,

what their favorite food to dig for is they both say worm. That is true. They would, yeah. Wait, fish, did you say? Yeah. Well, maybe they aren't able to dig, but they always like love seeing a worm on a hook. That is true.

You know? Desperate for it. Yeah. Oh, they're so thirsty for worm. a hook. That is true. Desperate for it. Yeah. Oh, they're so thirsty for worms. That is. Makes me sick. Isn't there a fish? It is funny that fish, the fish love worms.

Yeah, it's true. And birds love worms. Above and below. Air and sea, they both love worms. But we are the ones who dig up, we are the ones who dig. How does a fish regularly get a worm? We're the friends of the worms. The worms are our stable mates on terra firma. But are we really?

Because we're feeding them to the fish. That's true, we're exploiting them. Uh, but the, the, uh... How does a fish get a worm that's not, that's not from us? That's my question. Does a worm just accidentally swim into the pond? My guess is there's some sort of, like, sea creatures that resemble worms,

and that's partly why they're so tempted by them. Maybe baby eels, yeah. Maybe just like weird little squiggly things. Like I don't fucking know. We don't have the mysteries of the sea. Especially the one on Pandora. Yeah, that's true. Who knows what's going on up there?

Yeah. The way of the water? Yeah. Meetra, do you like the Avatar franchise? Yeah. Here we go. What did you think of the way of the water? Meechur, do you like the Avatar franchise? Yeah. What did you think of the way of water? Had a great time. I was crying. I just loved seeing that stuff.

It's so good. When Pyakon, I mean, when Pyakon jumps from the water, I was in tears. Pyakon, the mighty Tolkien. Every time they're swimming and the music is swelling, I have tears streaming down my cheeks. It makes me like, I wanna be like an evangelist for movies and be like, this is why we come to the cinema.

Like you're here to look at things and listen to things. Like it's just like, it's just such grandeur and spectacle. And it's not wasted time because it's not getting to the next plot point. It's just like, we're just getting to live in an alternate world for a little bit. Just enjoy being in the sea. Yeah, it's so fun.

For a minute. I fucking love it. Folks. Kate Winslet did a voice on Digman season two. And it was... Wow. The world record holder for holding her breath. She was in town to do Avatar.

Oh, wow. I think she was maybe also doing some FYC stuff. It was like a year ago. So it was like, I forget what the name of her show was. The Embassy or something. Oh, right. But, uh, but, uh, yeah, she was also doing avatar stuff, which was cool.

Did you get to interact with her at all? Yeah, she was, I mean, super nice and came up to like a recording studio in Santa Monica and Andy and I went and met up with her there and- Wow. Recorded, cool. Yeah, her part, it was great. It was awesome, very.

Did she demonstrate how she can hold a breath for seven minutes? Mm-hmm. That's a, she beat Tom Cruise's record. The performance is. Wait, really? Yeah. Wow.

She like was working with, maybe the same team, but like Tom Cruise like had some sort, or like for actors maybe, broke the record of like, he held his breath for like six and a half minutes or something. And then Kate Winslet did it for Avatar and she held her breath for like seven minutes or something. It was something crazy like that.

Damn, you know he got in the pool the next day. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta take her down, come on. Yeah, come on. Do you mean he crews to have that title? A guy I grew up with also works on the Avatar movie, does special effects. What, really?

A guy who like, I used to make movies with in high school named Ryan Champney. Oh, wow. And he like, does special effects stuff for Lightstone. That's amazing. So cool. I'm very excited the sequel comes out, this Fire and Ash comes out. I can't wait.

This winter? Something to live for. Finally. I mean, I'm gonna need markers every month to keep it going. We... The Digmans. You got me for two more weeks. In a few weeks.

That was the status. It does come out once a week, so... Yeah, so at least a few more weeks. Yeah, we got that into about August. Now I got to make it to Avatar. Yeah. Good. Are there any other guest stars

we look forward to with season two? Uh, yeah, we got a lot of guest stars. We've got Jeffrey Wright. We've got... Geraldine Vespanathan. Geraldine Vespanathan and, uh, Stephanie Beatriz are on the same episode, which is a super funny episode.

And then we've started to finally hear from people who've watched episodes, and that is, uh, that's the fourth episode Rachel Kailey wrote, and that is one that people kinda, uh, uh, keep mentioning to us as a fave. So, uh,, that's awesome. So that one's great. Rekha Shankar, Mark Hamill.

Wow. That was cool. That was awesome. Beck Bennett. That was a guess. Yeah, I was listening to the episode this morning as I walked here. Um, we've got, yes, then Kay Winslet, John Waters, Nathan Lane, Tatiana Hezlani.

I'm probably forgetting some other people, but those are a lot of our big... Artemis and Kayvon. Oh, yeah, R.E. Kayvonovic and Artemis Pibdoni in an episode of, like, that's dear to me. I love that. A lot of heavy hitters. That's great.

Has Cartman been giving you a hard time at all or no? No, he's been so warm and welcoming. It's been such a blast. Kenny has actually been a problem. What's that? Kenny, because Kenny's more of a problem. Kenny is more of the issue? I was expecting Kenny to be so sweet.

He's been ice cold to me. Oh my god. Yeah. Does he take down? Can you understand what he's saying? You can make it out. And it's. Especially the bad words.

Let's just say. That's rough. Not like in my kind, if you know what I mean. Oh my god. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Oh my god. Kenny, Jesus Christ.

I know. We met Mitch, you and I, we met Randy Marsh up at SketchFest. Yeah. A few years ago. He's way more down on Earth. It was so nice. They did like Randy Marsh up at SketchFest. Yeah. A few years ago. He's way more down on Earth. It was so nice. They did like a whole thing for him up there. Yeah, it was great.

Yeah, it was a Randy Marsh retrospect. It was like a celebration. Yeah. Yeah. Kevin Pollock like kinda MC'd it. Yeah. It was great. They were just swapping stories,

just stories the whole time. Yeah, Hank Hill I think was on the dais. Hank Hill was on the dais. Whoa. He was really cool. A little standoffish, but not in a mean way. Just sort of like, you know, you respect his space. Yeah.

You know what's really nice is young Bobby Hill, but then old Bobby Hill is not, he's not nice at all. Yeah, that's weird. Older Bobby Hill. Yeah. And what about Bobby's world? Bobby's world, he's like a diva. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So you never, Cartman never said respect my authority or anything like that? No. Oh wow, okay, all right, that's great. He's actually really chill behind the scenes. Yeah, so chill.

Damn, all right, that's great. We did a, like we took a selfie with Beavis. Yeah. And he, and like as we were posing for the selfie, the selfie said, I am the great corn holier. Oh. And we're like, oh, my goodness. I know, I know.

It's classic. That's classic. But he's like, he just was like ready to say it. It was like, keep it getting genuine. He knows that's what people want to hear. Yeah, show me the money. It was awesome. Yeah.

We were, we talked about the, we talked about the fires in Los Angeles, too. We talked about the fires. I know I always, like, I was always a fire, fire guy. But like, this is, this is not cool. It's not cool. It's not what I want to be able to take away from. That's sweet.

That's really down to earth. Yeah. And then I saw him, and then I saw him, and it was funny, it was like, it's on the news, and they barely called attention to it. He was just there at Alta Dina, just with a hard hat on, just volunteering. That's awesome.

Yeah, I was like, that's amazing. Well yeah, especially for a guy who promoted fire for so fire for someone to go on the other end of it. It's cool. It's really cool. And I know he hasn't been the same since Butthead died, too. Yeah. Yeah, you just don't, like, you don't want to bring that up around him.

Yeah. It's a sore subject. Did you hear about Millhouse? No, what happened with the boss? He works for ICE. Oh my god. That's, that, that- Fucking horrible. Yeah, it is a bummer to me.

Yeah, that is a bummer to me. Sorry to bum you out. I know this is a comedy podcast. I didn't mean to bring you down the room. No, I mean like while we're here, this is the thing. We should, we can talk about whatever. We can talk about food. We can make jokes.

We can talk about serious stuff that's happening in the world. It's all just conversation. Thank you. But you're welcome. You know who else is with ICE now? Mr. Freeze. Oh, no. That's two on the nose, honestly,

that he would join such a horrible. And he's a villain, so it makes sense. It makes sense. It makes sense. Yeah, it's not like Frozone doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. If Frozone did it, I would be very, very upset. Wait, did you say frozen?

Yeah, what did he say? I said Frozone. I said Frozone. Oh, sorry. Both work, honestly. Yeah. Either frozen from Frozone or Frozone. Rest in peace, Butt-Head.

Rest in peace, Butt-Head. One of the best. My dad, when I was younger, he like, he would always, he knew of Beavis and Butt-Head, so he would always be like, ha, yeah, cool. He would do that voice to me to be like, to like try to, like also making fun. That's funny.

Yeah, also like making fun. Like I think he was trying to bridge the gap. I was like, I don't even like, I didn't even like, I didn't even like Beavis and Butthead that much, but somehow he had heard Beavis and Butthead, which I don't know how he heard it. There was a bit on, I remember the old Letterman late show

where like they just did like a pre-show thing where like in the green room, it was Letterman was just saying hi to Siskel, and he was like, hey, thanks so much for doing the show. He's like, oh yeah, no problem, no problem. And then he left and then they went into Beavis and Butt-Head and we're like, ho ho ho, Dave's show sucks, man. That's so funny.

Lettermans' love of Beavis and Butt-Head really was like a co-sign that made it, it kind of made me go like, okay, this isn't just like a thing that my parents might think is stupid and I'm like feeling childish for liking the way that maybe, we listen to Adam Sandler's album or something. You're like, I know this, whatever. It was, all right, David Letterman likes Beavis and Butthead.

There must be something going on here. It's cool that Butthead guest-hosted the show at one point too. I thought that was really nice. He was good. Yeah. Hey buddy, if you've ever been lost abroad or badly needed an internet connection with no wifi spot in sight, you'll understand what a difference a local SIM card can make. Salie is a new eSIM service app brought to you by the creators of NordVPN that offers several affordable eSIM plans

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How about that? Yeah, and so I used it and I didn't even know what it stood for. A VPN lets you watch sporting events, TV shows, and films that aren't available in your region by changing your virtual location to a country where they are showing. Wow.

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can be used on up to 10 devices. Go to NordVPN.com slash doughboys to get four extra months on the two year plan. There's no risk with Nord's 30 day money back guarantee. That's n o r d VPN comm slash doughboys for four extra months on a two year plan. Wow. Wow. All right, anyways, Pizza Hut was founded in 1958 in Wichita, Kansas by the Carney brothers. It received the who brothers the Carney brothers. It received the Carney Brothers. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. I mean, Carney, it's, you know, that's fun. It's, you know, carneys. Like they're carneys, like carnivals. Yeah, I don't know what the etymology of the name is, but that's what they were called. Received from its red roof dining strategy in the 2000s,

now most locations are Delco units, which is a portmanteau, which means delivery and carryout. Mostly recently reviewed in 2022. And Neil, as you remember, originally reviewed on our first episode of 2016, over nine years ago, where Neil gave it this review. Emma, can we play a little bit of this?

So I don't know, it's one of those things where I go, why would you do a fast food pizza place unless you had no other option? It just feels like it's more soulless and just tastes like no one gave a shit. They just slapped a few ingredients together. But I kind of feel like you're almost always gonna have an option that probably is a little fresher a little more love put into it and Is not really that much more expensive

I'll go I'll go one fork. Oh my god What is the worst pizza I'll go, I'll go one fork. Oh my God. One fork. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. What is the worst pizza? Oh my God. What is the worst pizza? Now this was an earlier era of the podcast when we did not really use the full fork scale.

I think you were the first person to give anything one fork. This sent shockwaves through the Doughboys community. It would send shockwaves to the Doughboys fan community. I actually did make people mad at me. Yes. I'm just trying to do my friend's podcast, and I had a great time. Little do I know, I'm going to open up whatever,

Instagram or Twitter at the time or something, and have people like, you don't get what the show is, and like, you get pissed off at me. You opened up a can of worms, and there was no fish or bird on the other side of this. They were very angry Redditors that got upset with you. And I think it changed everything for the show. I think it honestly was a very big early moment

for the show, because it kind of was like, you can review this food on your own criteria. And I think Mitch, you and I over time have gotten a lot more, I think especially just as we've consumed 10 years of this garbage. We've become jaded. We've become a little more jaded,

but we've also become just a little bit more willing to use the full fork scale. Like we go to a place like Planet Hollywood, which we did in New York City with our buddies from Blank Check, and it just fucking sucked. It was bad. And that's like... With great power comes great responsibility with the Forks scale. So you don't want to...

For sure. You want to use the Forks correctly. And we had never seen anyone do what Neil did. It was powerful. It was alpha. I loved it. Yeah, a lot of places do suck. Yeah, a lot of places do suck. Yeah, a lot of places do suck. Including maybe Pizza Hut.

Possibly Pizza Hut. We'll get into it, but we were saying the other, we had Papa John's just recently. That's right. And Papa John's schnarder or whatever his name is. This is for an upcoming episode, it's releasing after this one. Oh, well shit.

That's all right, you're fine. Whatever, it's a little teaser. We hated, we didn't like Papa John's in the past, and then we were like, is Papa John's better than Pizza Hut? Papa John's might be back. Minor spoiler for an upcoming episode. But Pizza Hut to me is one of the places that I think of that's declined the most of any pizza place I've ever.

I think going... What it is now compared to what I remember it being, which by the way, isn't just nostalgia. It is like, you know, I was in like high school or college, which I guess is nostalgia, but like, it was like, I was a fully formed adult when I was eating pizza and I was still okay. But like the pan pizza, which we didn't get today, that like, when I would go into pizza hut

and get a pan pizza, I thought it was a good pizza at one point in time and now I don't like every time I eat Pizza Hut I think it's pretty shitty. We were a Pizza Hut family growing up. The Pizza Hut was the closest of the chain pizzas to our house and my dad was too cheap to pay for delivery so we would just order it from there and pick it up for carryout and so I developed an affection for Pizza Hut. I have a lot of nostalgia for Pizza Hut. And that was the primary pizza that I had. Like, I was going to have something like Domino's or Little Caesars.

That was like at a friend's house. You know what I mean? So that was a little bit more exotic to me. But Neil, you certainly have a history. You worked at Pizza Hut. My very first job was working at Pizza Hut. Basically, most of the year, 1996, just picture me finishing up a shift,

August 21st, 1996, Fairfax City, finish up my shift, drive over to the Patriot Center to see Rage Against the Machine that night. Wow! Pretty cool. So yeah, that was my 1996. And it was a delivery takeout place. There was no, it wasn't a restaurant. And it was a delivery takeout place.

It wasn't a restaurant. And yeah, I mostly made pizzas and answered the phones and took orders. Did you throw a slice to any of the band members? Yeah. And then after that, they were kind of like cheered up. And they. Maybe the machine's not too bad.

Yeah, they kept clarifying, not the pizza making machine. Just so everyone knows. Yeah, and so I never really liked the pizza hand tossed crust. Partially, I just didn't like it, but then also it was like you're just getting frozen discs and then you like spray something around the outside then you put in like a proofer or whatever and over time it becomes it. So it was just like for a thing called hand tossed.

It's not like, oh, when you're walking down like the Jersey boardwalk and you see like pizza places where you can like watch them actually toss the crust. It's not, it's literally like a frozen disc you would get. And so I already didn't really like that. Yeah, I remember you talking through this process so I already didn't really like that. Yeah, I remember you talking through this process on your original appearance,

which was that some of the dough are fresh made in store, at least were at the time. Yes, there were people who came in and made some dough for the pan and for the thin crust. Yeah, but the hand tossed was a right frozen. The hand tossed was not. But going in, I didn't really like pizza hand tossed. So it kind of just made me-

Which has kind of become their, it's now, like I always- It's their default. It's their default, which also, for me, it was always the pan pizza. I wonder why they got rid of, maybe dough tossing is dangerous, you know? You've seen, I've seen videos where dough is falling on a guy's head.

And so maybe that is a part of their issue that they just streamlined it and put it into a frozen- I mean, that's probably it. I think you nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. There must be some reason like that. Yeah, I think you nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. There must be some reason like that.

Yeah, I think Pizza Hut probably, yeah. Dough was landing on people's heads and they were getting injured. Yeah. And then they trip, fall on a spike. And then you could probably, yeah, you could, with the dough on your head, you could probably fall onto a spike.

Yeah. I'm sure. The Pizza Hut spike. When I was working at Pizza Hut, one of the giveaways, they had like a little like bat, like a Jeff Bagwell bat or something giveaway. But there is Flipper was out in movie theaters. Oh yeah.

The giveaway was like this sort of like rubber hand puppet that you could like stick in water and it had a little like bladder in it. So you could like squirt. I remember this. I remember the ads for like, this is the, because I had the Casper hand puppet, which I talked about a lot.

But I never saw that flipper movie, so who knows if this was like a Pizza Hut invention or the plot of the movie or what. But the thing that I always thought was really funny was you could get flipper, but the bad guy was like a hammerhead shark. But it was just like, seems funny to me that like a movie about flipper,

about a dolphin, that the villains wouldn't be like mankind encroaching upon his ecosystem or something. But like, wait, the bad guy in the Flipper movie is a mean fish? Is it a shark? Like, they couldn't like, humans making this movie couldn't be like, no, we might be a problem. Or the corporations in charge could be like,

this can't be about an oil spill. They're like, the bad guy for Flipper is a shark, not anything a human does. Underwater drama. Meacham, do you have any history with Pizza Hut? I saw, during the SAG after strike, I saw Flipper on the picket line. That's awesome. And did you see the hammerhead scabbing?

Yeah, the hammerhead was scabbing. Yeah. I have no real history with Pizza Hut. We were, I would say, more of a Costco pizza family. Wow. Back in this, before Costco pizza was cool, it sounds like too. For sure.

And then there was a local chain called The Rosas. It's kind of insulting that you said that. What? It's the truth. It's before Costco pizza was cool. Sorry, you came across like, yeah. I'm not saying, I think you're very cool.

I'm saying Costco pizza. A dork like you having Costco pizza? Oh, this must have been before it was cool. That's not what I was saying. Costco pizza. So this is when like fugly bitches were having Costco pizza? That's not what I was saying at all.

Nasty, stinky, ugly tolls for ordering Costco pizza. Oh, checks out, checks out, okay. That's not, I was, Costco pizza's become very, Costco's become very in-wise in the last few years. Costco, like the Costco, the Costco guys, the dad and son, AJ and- Oh yeah, I learned about from your party. And Big Justice, thank you.

Yes. Big Justice, AJ you. Yes. Big Justice, AJ. Yeah. Costco in the last 10 years has had a bigger, because I didn't know that the Costco pizza was good until probably within this decade. I've always loved Costco pizza. We would get it when we went to Costco, but it was not like our default pizza.

It was just like maybe a little out of the way. But yeah, I would certainly give Costco five big booms. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I also love their mixed berry smoothie. Oh, the mixed berry smoothie is good. OK, so last time I went to Costco. How many booms did you give that? Five big booms.

All right. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And the last time I went to Costco, they didn't have the mixed berry smoothie. They'd replaced it with the frozen. Strawberry. Frozen strawberry pink lemonade. Now, I was a little skeptical. I wanted my mixed berry smoothie,

but I got it as my usual Costco routine, is I get a walk around drink while I'm shopping. And then afterwards, I go to the food court for a lunch. And they'll usually get the hot dog with the soda combo. So I got my walk around drink while I'm shopping. And then afterwards I go to the food court for a lunch and they'll usually get the hot dog with the soda combo. So I got my walk around beverage and I tried out that frozen pink lemonade with strawberries, absolutely fucking delightful. It was so good.

It was so refreshing. Mixed berries gone is so concerning, but if there's something good there. It could just be a seasonal offering. And I could just be also at my Costco. I don't know if it's nationwide, but I had a great time with it. I mean, this is, I'm just now wondering what you think of the, I just wondering what you think of the frozen lemonade.

I give the frozen strawberry pink lemonade five big booms. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Whoo! It was really good. Yeah. I haven't tried it yet. I wanna go, I gotta go back and, I think my Costco membership,

I always get the Costco membership and then it just, I never renew it and so I have to renew it all the time. Can you give us something? What's that? The way my shoulder hurt. Oh! That's why those guys are, That's why they're jacked.

It's true. He's a professional wrestler. I know. AJ. He grew AJ, yeah. Did you do shoulders this morning at the gym? I did do a little bit, but yeah. Nice. Nice.

Yeah, you know, whatever. Now I do dominoes, which we talked about last time I was here, which I love, still love, had dominoes recently, got my free pizza. They have a stuffed crust now as well. I never get it. I don't care about that stuff there. No bells and whistles.

Let's just go classic. Sure. Go on, please. So I don't have an emotional tie to Pizza Hut. So I will say my journey with the big chain pizzerias is that, yeah, Pizza Hut family growing up. In college, Papa John's, as we've talked about and we'll talk about, Papa John's was like

really aggressively expanding. They had a lot of coupons. So like just as a value proposition, I ended up eating a lot of Papa John's. And I think also Papa John's quality was just higher back then. So it was like, I was really into Papa John's. And then in adulthood, I was just kind of like into Domino's.

And Domino's has kind of been my default. It's what Natalie and I get by default. We're getting chain pizza. But I do really have a lot of affection for Little Caesars. I was just kind of like into Domino's and Domino's has kind of been my default. It's what Natalie and I get by default. We're getting chain pizza. But I do really have a lot of affection for Little Caesars. If I'm ranking the big four, like the Mount Rushmore, as we are here on July 4th, Eve of chain pizzerias, I'd probably go Domino's one, Little Caesars two.

And I might put Papa John's over Pizza Hut, but we'll see where we land after this review. Yeah. Like is Pizza Hut the worst one, I guess, is what I'm asking. I guess that's what we're litigating. I think it's fallen quite a bit. It's fallen quite a bit.

Quite a ways, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well today, so we had a couple of separate meals. You all had a little bit of a pregame lunch here, and I went on my own yesterday. But you got the cheesy bites pizza with a ranch flight, which comes with ultimate ranch,

pepperoni ranch and Chipotle ranch. That's right. That's a lot of fun. I'll tell you, every flight for me is a ranch flight. It's my carry on. A buffalo chicken meal. Oh. A medium jalapeno thin. This liquid bottle's too big, sir.

Medically necessary. A medium jalapeno thin. This liquid bottle's too big, sir. It's medically necessary. A medium jalapeno thin and crispy crust and a large original stuffed crust pizza. I do the travel, I do the smaller ranch travel size. Travel size, yeah. How was that Cheesy Bites pizza? That's the thing they're pushing right now. I mean, I will say this,

that it was my favorite of the pizzas. And I gotta say, it looked gorgeous. When the lid came up, I went, that is a beautiful looking pizza. What top, did you- Did Bota Celli make this? Was it just a cheese pizza? What toppings did you get on it?

We just got a cheese pizza. Okay, all right. I thought you were vegetarian. I know that you don't eat meat, Neil, and there's no fish. Yeah, there's no squid pizza. There's no squid, unfortunately, there's no squid pizza. I don't eat squid's no fish. Yeah, there's no squid pizza. There's no squid, unfortunately there's no squid pizza. I don't eat squid either, but yeah, there isn't any.

But there is, yeah, there's no sort of pescatarian option. But we could have gotten veggies on this one, I realize. So they don't, I mean, I guess I can't, I actually do think when I worked there, you could get anchovies. Oh, wow. I don't have them anymore. I think you had to like pull,

like I had a weird separate compartment. You could get an anchovy, no one ever ordered it, but you could. I don't have them anymore. I think you had to like pull like a, like a, like a, had a weird separate compartment. You could get an anchovy, no one ever ordered it, but you could. I do like anchovies. Me too. In context. Yeah, I like it with other, I like it mixed in with other ingredients.

They're salty as hell. They're very salty, which that's kind of my, you know, we were talking about salt and straw. Pizza Hut to me is everything I ate today I thought was salty, including that ranch flight. It was like a, each of the, did you try the ranch flight or no? No, I'm not like a real ranch person.

They weren't good. I didn't try the pepperoni one out of fear it had meat in it. Oh sure, yeah. But I tried the other two. Yeah, what did you think of the other two? The other two were fine. It's like, yeah, it's like when you dip crust

into a, into ranch. Yeah. I thought the, I mean, it's a fun idea, but it's like, it was just kind of shitty ranch. And the cheesy bites pizza is a fun idea. And I actually thought like that pizza was cooked the best maybe of all of them, but it still was not good. Yeah, I agree.

It's the whole thing for me feels a bit like, you know, sometimes you go to a bar and it's like, or a restaurant or whatever, let's just say a bar, and it actually is like very old and it is, the building's really old or whatever. And you're like, oh, this is an actual old, whatever, a dive bar or it can be like an English drawing room and it has like a old fireplace in it or something, you know.

We were just in the bayou together. That's right. Lafitte, you know, or something like that. And you're like, this is old and that's old. And then sometimes you go to a place and you're like, oh, this is trying to make it seem like it's like an old English drawing room. But like, this is like, like that bar that used to be near here,

like the study, is that what it's called? Oh, yes. And you're like, this is like, that bar that used to be near here, like the study, is that what it's called? Oh yes. And you're like, this is like, we're just like vinyl paneling to literally make it look like old wood. It's a theme park simulacrum of the real thing. Yes, exactly. You want the actual die bar,

you don't want the gentrified approximation of the die bar. Yeah. And sometimes, and like with all the Pizza Hut stuff, I have that vibe where I'm like, I don't know why this wouldn't be called pizza. It's crust and then sure, sauce and cheese. But there's something about it doesn't feel like it is actual pizza or something. But almost that made the cheesy bites thing closer to I was like,

this just sort of feels like a weird like appetizer you get at a sports bar or something. That's just like a weird, like our cheesy mess thing. And you're not trying to think of it as like, am I really eating a pizza right now? And it was just more of like, here's a ton of cheese for you to eat. I'm trying to bring up the menu here.

And Pizza Hut is one of those chains that has a really frustrating website where you have to like- Put in the zip. Yeah, you put in a zip to be able to just see, to browse the menu. Amelia can speak to this because we were trying to get the cheesy just see, to browse the menu. Amelia can speak to this because we were trying to get the cheesy bites pizza,

which I think is on its way out anyways, but it was like, I had to call Mitch this morning and be like, I don't see the cheesy bites or the ranch flight anywhere on the menu. Yeah, this to me is as close to an emergency. Well then you're fired. If I don't get the cheesy bites pizza, you're fired. This is as close to a work emergency as we get wise.

I didn't know what to do. Do you know how many people want to bring me a Cheesy Bites pizza? We even said it last night, you were like, a Cheesy Bites pizza might be annoying. And it was, but it also was, you were able to, and I was going to just go Tavern because they now have a new Tavern pizza as well which seems like then it seems like it would be thin I mean I know that Chicago people will be mad at me for saying that but it seems like it will just be like a thin style pizza same difference basically right I went to a search engine and was able to find a separate page that isn't listed on their main website about

the cheesy bites pizza and ranch lovers flight And actually there is a fact here, a frequently asked question section. Do I get to choose the ranch flavors that come with my Cheesy Bites Pizza and Ranch Lovers Flight? They cannot be replaced with other dips, but you can add other dips to your order for an additional fee.

Nice. Neil, Pepperoni Ranch is flavored with signature pepperoni spices, flavors, and herbs. Does not contain pepperoni. So you could have had it. Oh, I wasted my life. Get in here. It's still in there sitting in there by itself. Jimmy go fetch pepperoni ranch. Jimmy, Jimmy.

Jimmy, fetch pepperoni ranch. That would be awesome if I could teach her to go fetch pepperoni. That is a licked bitch's finger. No. There must be pepperoni down on this meat. You mean not. I'll catch you one of these days. Good girl. That is a licked bitch's finger. No! There must be pepperoni balls. You mean, but no. I'll catch you one of these days.

Good girl. Melinda. I will say that we left the door slightly ajar, because there's, it's the 4th of July holiday week. So the head gum is off. You know how you traditionally get the entire week off of work for the July 4th, especially if it falls on a Friday. But it's a Friday, yeah.

It's so awesome. So they're not here, so we left the door open and I will say- They're not putting in their 16 hours a week. Roast them. They deserve the roasting. So I will say the door is slightly ajar and Jemmy did try to walk out. Yeah, she did. Just to show that- She spent the first 30 minutes staring at the door like slightly ajar and Jemmy did try to walk out. Yeah, she did. Just to show that.

She spent the first 30 minutes staring at the door like, let me out of here. Yeah, to show that we do just keep her captive. No, you've got to listen to the podcast. No. Listen to us go long on pizza and ice cream. It's all no dog chow, though. Emma, though, she does get excited to come to work work and she arrives here and she's like riled up.

She barked at Mitch today. She was so excited. Yeah. Well, cause I'm on Monday. I was like, we're going to go to work tomorrow. And then we canceled a couple of records because Wags wasn't feeling well. So we, so she, I like teased her all week and I was like, just kidding. We're not going. So today she came in hot. I was chewing on a bone when I came in. For whatever reason. Her bone.

Her bone, I took her. Jamie and I were always fighting over the bone. Did you like the cheesy bites themselves? They were fine. Honestly. Describe what they are exactly. They're little blobs. So it's funny, because today we got,

they are little blobs of cheese at the end. Cheese and exactly. They're little blobs. So it's funny, because today we got, they are little blobs of cheese at the end. Cheese and dough. They're like little, they're little. I liked them. I liked them. We did stuff crust and we did cheesy bites. Which is kind of fun to see the difference between the two of them.

I actually liked the cheesy bites more than I liked the stuff crust. I liked it way more. Yes, way more. I'm basically never in on stuff crust. Sometimes it surprises me by being better than I thought, but I remember as a kid, seeing pizza, introducing stuffed crust pizza, convincing my dad to get it because it was an up charge, and thinking

it was going to be the best thing possible. And then you have it, and you're just like, oh, well, this is just worse than the pizza itself. And it's honestly like less of a, it's honestly even less fun because it's less of a contrast with the pizza than the traditional crust. I think the issue with stuffed crusts is like,

I always think of it being like kind of like wet and undercooked towards the end of it. Yeah, it's kind of gummy. It's kind of gummy. And then with these, they are like, it's just little bits of cheese. So I think it maybe cooks better. Okay, that makes sense.

I think that's a part of it that's helpful. But it was fun, you kind of pull them off. It is weird though, because then you can just have like a crustless pizza at the end. You're just eating kind of like a, you're finishing the, you know what I'm saying? Is ranch the right dipper for this? Cause to me, I'm thinking marinara.

Marinara is probably the, I mean like- Marinara would probably be better. All the dips were not great either, and they were very salty. And the pizza, I thought every pizza was super salty. That's like, that was my main takeaway. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I know I said this already, but mostly when I got to that crust, that was the closest I had to like something enjoyable because I was like, I'm not trying to, in my head, like try to make this be pizza. And I was like, yup, here's a cheesy bite. And this is just like an appetizer I'm having somewhere. Yeah, I would order like a basket of those at a bar.

Yeah, yeah. I feel like it felt like a food that I would eat again. That part of the pizza. That's an endorsement. I liked them. I thought they were good. I felt like I was chewing on the stuffed crust forever. Like there was just, it's just like, it's so much cheese.

Like it feels like you're having like, like the string cheese just like melted into the bread. Whereas with the little dippers, I'm happy. Yeah. They were, it was way, that was more fun. I thought the stuffed crust was a bad outing for the stuffed crust today. I thought it was a...

You have... Actually, for the other pizzas, I don't know if there was any great outing today. So I, I'll get into what I got here because we both got melts, Mitch. You got the Buffalo Chicken melt. And I was going to, I got the meal on my own yesterday. And I ordered exclusively from what the Pizza Hut app calls the party of one menu, which is so depressing.

Wait, I love that. I'd bum me out. Sure. Yeah. I think that is gorgeous. It's nice. Rejected by everyone in your video game app and then you go to fucking video game app.

I'm going, wish you would step back from that bitch. That bitch. Well, cause I hate the feeling of like, like I want a pizza so bad, but I'm home alone. I'm like, ugh, I'm gonna be eating this for like the next three days. Like party of one seems. Well, so here's what they offer.

Home alone in that you're just home alone or like your family has left you accidentally? Home alone like, yeah, like my family's gone. I'm freezing cold as Christmas. You ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Right where Beck grew up. Wow. Beck grew up near the Home Alone house. That's cool. Whoa, exclusive. Yeah. What about that in the bayou? Oh my gosh.

We should have asked him about it. Why didn't we ask him about it? We should have asked him about it. Should we give him a call? I don't want to bother him. He'd love it. Yeah. Hey, have you seen this building?

He's probably watching Superman or something, I'm sure. So they have the party of one menu. I ordered, I was just like, let's see what this is like if you're trying to go to Pizza Hut as a single diner. And so I ordered two of what they call their My Hut boxes. Their two options are they have a personal pan pizza inside or a melt and a side. Now here's part of the problem with the party of one. Mitch, you and I have talked about the personal pizza

specifically from these chain pizzerias. The ratios are way off. Like, it's never the same. Like, it's way too crusty, not enough slice. I judge a pizza on a large pizza. It's got to be, like, I'd much rather have... And it's not just because I want a large pizza, though I do a lot of the time.

And this was, I will say, this order altogether was a decent value, but like, I still, I would rather have a slice from a medium or a large pizza. Like, just having like a personal pizza is like so much less satisfying. And I think if I would do it again, if I was actually going to order from pizza by myself, I think I would just get a pizza

and then just have like four or five slices and save the rest. I might eat a whole pizza. But I got a, I got the create your own two topping pizza, cheese marinara, onions, jalapenos, cause I'm something of a heat seeker and pan crust. And I also got boneless wings, which were buffalo medium. They do not have the option for bone in wings.

You can only get boneless wings as one of your sides. Shockingly, the boneless wings do not come with a dip in sauce by default. So you have to pay extra. You have to pay an upcharge for a ranch or a blue cheese. I got one of each. I also got the melt inside. I got the pepperoni lovers melt because, honestly, to me, Mitch, the buffalo chicken melt looked gross.

I'm curious what you felt about it. I also got straight cut fries, which, I don't know why they're doing fries, but let me tell you, they're doing them OK. It was obviously like a highlight of the lunch. The fries were good? The fries were fucking good. And I don't know if they're doing them.

Pizza Hut shouldn't be doing fries. They shouldn't be doing fries, but they're doing them well. They need to focus on their main event. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, flipper things. Mm-hmm. But what did you think of the melt?

Because I thought my Pepperoni Lovers melt was so much better than the personal pizza. Like, markedly better. I thought the melt was OK. It was, again, salty. But I, it was like... Yeah, mine was salty as hell. For, what did you think?

We tried it. I tried it. I did not like it. Yeah, that's fair. But I'm also not like a big, like, buffalo chicken person. Wow. Which... Kind of pissed off. I don't like about myself.

But it's the kind of thing where with pizza or ice cream, like we were talking about, I can kind of like any of it. With buffalo chicken, I feel like I need to have a really good version of buffalo chicken. This was not a good version of it, but it was OK. Yeah. So for me, I'm already grading, it's harder for me to like a buffalo chicken,

and I just don't think this was a special buffalo chicken. It was not special at all, but I will say, compared to everything I got, I was like, it's on the higher end of the things I tried today. What I liked about it is, and essentially what the melt is, is a pre-folded slice. It's kind of like a pizza quesadilla, kind of folded on itself twice.

I just felt like it was so dense with flavor versus the personal pan. I just thought like every bite was unsatisfying. But party won't be good. Can I ask something real quick? Yeah. The buffalo thing. Yeah.

If you go to like, not necessarily like a chain, but just like a sports bar and you get like hot wings, are you to assume that is buffalo wing, or is buffalo a specific flavor that's not like what your standard hot wing flavor is? If I saw hot wings, I would expect buffalo wings. I expect basically buffalo wings. Okay, okay. Yeah.

I wasn't sure if there's a standard hot wing flavor that I'm not sure of. If they were like spice, if it was like breaded spicy wings, I'd be like, okay, like I could see that. The flavor is like red. The flavor is red, yeah. I'm gonna go like spice or something.

I'd be like, sure, I guess so. Like if it was rustic or something or like a sports bar that's not a chain. And if it just says hot wings, it's probably buffalo sauce. I would consider that to the fault, yeah. I think in my mind, I would think that. There are like, you know what I'm talking about,

like kind of like more of a coating, like a fried coating that's kind of spicy. As we talked about recently with back about B-Dubs is that there is a, they have a, my favorite B-Dubs seasoning is one of their dry rubs, desert heat, which is not a- Yeah, and I know, yeah, I know the dry, yeah. I'm thinking of the wet though, yeah, yeah.

But that's a different flavor profile, but, yeah, I'm thinking of the wet. Yeah. But that's a different flavor profile, but still spicy. I'm thinking of the wet. Where's everyone on spicy? Love it. I love it too. Me too. Yeah, hell yeah.

Me too, but it hurts. Well, I also, seeking heat, I got a, this was my experiment, because I know I gave it one fork last time. Yeah. I wanted to try to go, well, when I worked there, the employee meal you could get, and forgive me if I said this nine years ago and I forgot,

kind of a lot has happened in the meanwhile. What? Well, a few other episodes of this that I was on. Wow. And the thing you could do is you could take the thin crust dough and you can make your own personal, and they didn't sell like personal thin crusts. So you can make your own personal, and they didn't sell like personal thin crusts. So you can make your own personal thin crust.

And I would make myself one with sausage and jalapeno. Now I don't do sausage anymore. So I just did the smallest thin crust I could get, a medium with jalapeno, seeking said heat. Wow. Hoping it would replicate the meal that used to bring me joy from Pizza Hut. Um, but it was still, I don't know, you, you, you get that size pizza medium size is like kind of,

I don't know what you call that kind of pizza that you get it like an Italian restaurant, you know, where it's like a smaller, crispier crust, you know what I mean? Like, you might use a fork and knife for maybe, maybe isn't sliced, you know, whatever. That style of Italian restaurant pizza. Is that a Neapolitan style? Like a... Sourdough pizza?

Maybe, yeah. Like, that's what I was expecting. Well, maybe that's what this thin crust medium will capture, and it was still just kind of like, it was still kind of chewy. Like, the outer rim is certainly crispy, but it was... Yeah, it was a little too dry, that guy. Yeah, it was just kind of like, it was still kind of chewy. Like the outer rim is certainly crispy, but it was- Yeah, it was a little too dry. Yeah, it was just kind of like, nah,

this didn't quite achieve that magic either. I wonder if, and Amitra, I know you're not, you have a bit of a buffalo version. I love buffalo, and I don't feel like this was a well-executed buffalo wing. Like the boneless wings that I got were pretty rancid. They were just like, first off, just like bad chicken nuggets. They were like the saucy nugs, basically, that you get from Wendy's.

They were just like not anything particularly exciting texturally. And then I just didn't love their buffalo sauce. And Like a lot of the like, like Domino's too, like their wings, I'm like, I just feel like they're like, they're like mushy. Yeah, I hit or miss with Domino's wings. I've had some success. I certainly have more success with the bone in, but you didn't even have the option to do bone in here. I've never loved Pizza Hut wings and they branded their wings separately as Wing Street. Like this is their

Wing Street label wings. And I don't even know if they even had them when you were working there. Yes, I think they did. I think they did. You cook them the same way. You put them on like the conveyor belt that goes through the, like they were frozen or something. That must be how they're making the fries. They must be making them in the oven because they don't have a deep fryer there.

Yeah, probably not. Wow. It's a conveyor belt now, but pizza huts used to have, they used to have ovens back in, you know, they're like, there are a lot of the places that had ovens. Well, we were conveyor. You were conveyor belts? Mm-hmm.

Damn, that's kind of early even for that. I once fell into it. Did you get turned into some sort of pizza? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. What happened? Never mind. Boy, don't say it.

What? It's going to be a Pizza the Hut joke? No, no, no, it's not going to be a pizza. No, I would never make a Pizza the Hut joke. I would never make fun of Pizza the Hut. I was gonna say, no, I'm not gonna do it. I can't do it. He has to.

I think you have to do it now. No, I'm not gonna do it. Do you want a minute and we'll come back to you? You decide if you're gonna do it? Okay. I think it's a bit of an indictment of Pizza Hut's party of one menu that the best thing that I had was the fries. Like it's like, it's, it's a bit of an indictment of Pizza Hut's party of one menu that the best thing that I had

was the fries. Like, it's like, it's, it's, and I understand why it exists. I know it's probably for people who maybe it's just like, hey, my job is near a Pizza Hut. I can get a $10 value meal from there. Fuck it, let me try it. But like, I would just be, to me, viewing this as a workday lunch and hey,

I'm basically having this for my job, I found it pretty unsatisfying. You knew it? I was really disappointed. I went to Pizza Hut with Neve Campbell on season one of Twisted Metal. Wait, is this the thing? Yeah. This is the thing we're gonna do?

Oh, no, no, it's not the thing. Okay, okay. I went to Pizza Hut with Neve Campbell on the first season of Twisted Metal. She ordered five party of ones. So collectively, a party of ones. So collectively a party of five. This is, so that wasn't the thing. There's another one that you're more embarrassed of.

Okay. Wait, can I guess my theory on the party of one menu, having never heard of it until five minutes ago? Yeah. I bet they were like, yeah, we've sustained as a business for many years because families order pizzas and people order pizzas at parties and stuff like that, or when they have friends over,

and roommates order pizzas. And I think, I wonder if so much of like work from home and people being like more socially averse or being like, I wanna, I like made them be like, fuck, everyone just stays at home and doesn't go, and like they need a lunch when they're working from home, you know, or whatever. You just maybe hear more, whether it's always been the case,

you maybe just hear about there being more social anxiety now and stuff. But I wonder if they're like, fuck, we gotta, people stay at home by themselves. That's a market we're not tapping. Yeah. I'm not gonna do my second. No, come on. Ah, you got it. The first one went over like a, we're not tapping. Yeah. I'm not gonna do my second. Oh, come on.

Ah, you got it. The first one went over, like, it went over great. I liked it. Yeah. We can sweeten it and add in some laughs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. See, I promise we'll laugh. No, no, no, I'm not doing that.

We're talking about conveyor belt ovens. Yeah, I know. Yeah, then he said I turned two feet up. I'm not going to. I've already bombed enough on this episode. I'm not doing it anymore. You're doing great. No, I'm not. I'm not doing great.

You are doing great. No. Come on. Come on. Do it. Shut up, everyone. OK, do it. I'm really just expecting it, but you have to do it.

All right, sometime. I'll do it at some point. Did you get it? Did you all get any dipping sauces beyond the ranch flight? Or was that it? I think that was it. That was it. I will say the marinara that came with the pepperoni lovers' melt did do a lot. And I don't know if there was any dipping sauce

that came with the buffalo chicken melt, but the pepperoni one did come with a marinara dip, and that did a lot to cut the saltiness, the sweetness of that, so that was very helpful. Yes, I mean, my mouth is so dry, it was just a tie, and the entire meal was a salt bomb to me. I felt like it was like, I already didn't think Pizza Hut was good going into this. Sure. Walked away from this meal not happy. ["Five Dulles of Meal Deal with New McValue"] With a $5 meal deal with new McValue,

you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Prices and participation may vary. McDouble meal $6 in some markets for a lot of money. Prices of participation may vary, but double meal, $6 in some markets for limited time only. We should get to our final thoughts on Pizza Hut. Oh, boy.

So, Beacher Deal, you both done the podcast. Neil, I want you to go last. Okay, yeah. I gotta give it some thought. I'll give you some time to think it over. But we'll each go around, we'll give our closing argument, if you will, our final thoughts. Yeah, we'll go kind of like a conveyor belt of thoughts.

Yeah. And end by giving it a score from zero to five forks. Amitra, let's start with you. Your thoughts, your fork score. My thoughts, I, my favorite was the cheesy bite pizza overall. I normally, if I'm having pizza, I like can't stop eating it and I have to to stop myself from eating past the halfway pizza mark.

And this, I had two slices and I really didn't want anymore, so I think that is a problem with the pizza. So I was able to kind of stop. I wanted to stop. I really didn't like the buffalo chicken thing, but I really did like the cheesy bites. I want a bucket of those alone. And I would actually get that at some point

if it was like its own thing, not attached to a pizza. But I don't know. I feel like I don't want to do one. Yeah. Yes. But I really didn't like anything except for the thing that wasn't pizza. Yeah.

So I'll give it 1.5 because I really did like the cheese. Wow. One fork, two tines for the cheesy bites. How about that? One fork, two tines. Mitch, what do you think? Oh yeah, yeah, that's nice. Should we do Neil?

Or are we going to save Neil for last? We said Neil's going to go last. Pizza Hut, Pizza Hut, Kentucky Fried Chicken in a Pizza Hut. This is how I opened my review when you did the show, I believe. Oh, I thought that was Alfred Lord Tennyson. you did the show, I believe. Oh, I thought that was Alfred Lord Tennyson. McDonald's, McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Pizza Hut.

Now, if I think of chain restaurants that have. Over the test, over the course of time have fallen. Pizza Hut is. Like, I haven't thought about it too too. I mean, we talk about other places that the quality has gone down and some that have closed and I'm like, oh yeah, pizza hut. Just obviously we used to like the pizza buffet.

We've talked about that a ton. I like I used to really enjoy pizza hut. It wasn't my favorite pizza. I still like dominoes or whatever like there are other or like like you were saying a local pizza place way more than I like Pizza Hut, but like the quality of that place is, it sucks. Pizza Hut is bad now, it's not good.

And it's gotten worse over the years. I'm like, I don't know why I would ever, ever order this ever again. Also the guys who started it saw that Domino's was doing well and they didn't even make pizza and that's like how it started it was like the pan the pan made pizza at pizza when you go in there and they actually put it in an oven was good but that's it's it's all conveyor belt it's all conveyor belt? Nothing about a conveyor belt. Okay. You tell some joke, damn it.

I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean.

I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean.

I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. podcast. And I wasn't as mean to it the first time we did it,

but it's been bad for 10 years now, basically. And I'm gonna go with my old friend Neil's score from the original episode, I'm going one fork. One fork, wow. I'm gonna follow my friend Neil. You know, my belt is a little tight. I wonder if anyone has anything they wanna say. Method of conveyance.

I'd like to convey. My belt is a bit tight from eating the pizza. Join us, Mitch. I can't, give me time. Okay. Pacing me off. I'll say, I'll give my thoughts now. I am rooting for Pizza Hut. I have a nostalgic connection to Pizza Hut. I want Pizza Hut to be good. I'd love for Pizza Hut. I have a nostalgic connection to Pizza Hut. I want Pizza Hut to be good.

I'd love for Pizza Hut to be my default pizza. And I will just say, yes, I kind of went rogue in terms of how I ordered me going from the party of one menu. And, but, so like, yes, you want to criticize that as the crux of my review, fine. But this is something they're offering. This is something they're promoting. And I've had Pizza Hut in the intervening years since we did our last review in 2022, and I've never came away satisfied. I just think it's perpetually disappointing and also perpetually on the decline.

We talked about where it ranks with Mount Rushmore of, you know, pizza chains, of major pizza chains in America. I think it is the worst one. But also, of the now Mount Rushmore, formerly the Triumvirate, of Yum Brands labels. We have KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, and now The Habit are all part of that one company. I think it's also the worst one of those. It's the one I'd want the least. I was pretty disappointed by my meal overall. Like. It's the one I'd want the least. I was pretty disappointed by my meal overall. Like I said, the things I liked, and this is echoing Mitra, which I think was a really nice way to put it, and a really honestly

despairing way to put it, which is the best stuff was not pizza. The best stuff was the fries, number one, and then the pepperoni lovers melt, number two. And I think we've learned a lot over the course of this podcast, but we learned an important lesson in that episode back in January of 2016 from our dear friend, Neal Campbell, which is that it's important to evaluate these places truthfully and not on some sort of, you know, sliding scale

that allows for, evaluates its quality of food within just the bubble of chain restaurants. And I think from that standpoint, pizza has fallen off. And I think it deserves one fork. And that's where I'm landing, one fork for Pizza Hut. Wow. Neil, let's go to you. All right.

So look, I was nervous coming here, because I know the last time I did the one fork, there was some blowback. I was worried. Yeah. By a repeat performance. Maybe, you know, I'm going to get swatted by your fans. So doxed docs at least.

They'll swat ya. Yeah. You guys get spotted a lot by your fans? Yeah, but it's nice. Yeah, yeah, it's Millhouse and stuff. Yeah, Millhouse shows up. But so I tried to go into this going, I don't want to just be Mr. Grump and Mr. Negative.

Let me just give it, I tried to order the closest facsimile I could to the meal. I used to make myself there and enjoy. I was down to try all the other things we got. And really, I mean, I'm going to echo Nick's praise of Mitra's review. Say I am the same way with pizza. Where like, most of the time I'm like, I shouldn't have more than two slices. And I'm like, that's so good. I'm gonna have a third or a fourth slice.

That just, you know, a piece of pizza place I do order from. Right. And had no problem stopping this. It felt like a chore today to try each slice of each pizza. Yeah. What a bummer. And I'm like, look, yeah, the little cheesy bites were the highlights, but I don't know

that they did anything to change my mind about it. I think there needed to be a more seismic shift to change my previous score. So I'm gonna stick with one fork. Wow. I think that's beautiful. Wow. Broken plate club for Pizza Hut. Damn. I think that's beautiful. Wow. Broken plate club for Pizza Hut.

Damn. You need to get their, you know what, Mitch, we need another chain rescue Pizza Hut. I think that's maybe the next game. I agree with you. We should figure that out. But then also if we do a chain rescue, didn't we start liking the place right afterwards?

But maybe it'll get better. Yeah. The last chain rescue we did was Wendy's, and Wendy's went on to win our tournament of Chompies in Much Madness this year. So, you know, it certainly had rehabilitated itself a little bit in our image. That's nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so, but we got to figure out what's going on with Pizza Hut. It sucks. It sucks, yeah. Yeah, it's bad. Yeah. Such a bummer.

It is really, really a bummer. I wonder if part of the issue is that they're like, you know, cause you just, just generally these corporations are trying to save money, pinch pennies. And I wonder if what of the issue is that they're like, cause you just, just generally these corporations are trying to save money, pinch pennies. And I wonder if what's happening over there is they're trying to tighten their belts. And then that act is being conveyed to the consumer in an inferior product.

I wonder if that's what's happening. I'm not gonna do it. If you don't do it, It doesn't make any sense anymore. It doesn't make any sense anymore. I want all of the ire that went to meal in 2016 directed at Mitch if he doesn't give us this thing. It doesn't even make any sense. It doesn't matter.

You think that matters? We got to hear it, Mitch. I can't. I can't. I've already embarrassed myself too much on this episode. No, you haven't. No, you haven't. Tell one of us, and we'll do it. No, it's not.

I mean, that would be even weirder. I'll read it. No, you can't. You can't. Meeser will do it. Let Meeser do it. And I'll put everything into it. I can't.

All right. Maybe all right. Just give me a minute. OK. Just give me a minute. We have a minute, because we, well, we have a minute because we have a segment. I've got a food stuff we're gonna decide if you should put in your mouth. It's Snack or Wack.

Amelia Moreno is bringing over some of these for each of us. Wow, thank you. In celebration of the movie, The Fantastic Four, the first steps. Oh my God. They have new Fantastic Four pop tarts. The Crazy Good Collaborations unleashes a fantastic snacking experience with four movie-inspired

toaster pastry flavors. The Pop Tarts and Marvel Studios, the Fantastic Four First Steps collaboration is a celebration of our shared 1960s origins, as documented in the film Unfrosted. There's no better way to welcome everyone's favorite blue-suited superhero family to the MCU than with a triumphant return of our own fantastically blue toaster pastry, Pop Tarts Frosted Blue Raspberry, back on shelves for the first time since 2019.

So this is the flavor that we have here. This is the Pop Tarts Frosted Blue Raspberry. Amelia toasted these up in the headgum toaster. Thank you, Amelia. And it has a little decal, which is kind of grafted onto the frosting. I have Herbie here, which is a lot of fun. Oh, you have Herbie. I have the thing. Are you loaded? It's not Herbie fully loaded.

It's the Herbie. Kidding. Oh my god. No! Fuck. Spill. That's my fault. It's not your fault.

No, it is. It is. No, it is Mietre's fault. Sorry. It's not your fault. I just might as well say it's fantastic. You have a logo. Dang.

What do you have? Mine has my home address. Human torch. Oh. That's pretty good. That's good. Yeah. Where's everyone on Pop Tarts?

I used to love them as a kid, but I don't need them anymore. I loved them as a kid and haven't had one in. Yeah. Well, I've probably had one, but I've barely ever had one in 25 years. But loved them as a kid. Yeah, same. I've probably had one, but I've barely ever had one in 25 years, but loved him as a kid. Yeah, same. I loved the brown sugar cinnamon chocolate. I just like, yeah, I was the chocolate guy.

It's a dessert. I mean, like, yeah, I'm going to take a bite into this sum, bitch. This is nice and toasty. What toaster setting to use bagel. Wow. Smart. I mean, it toasts just one side of it. Yes, I like it. Very blue flavored. Yes. It definitely tastes blue. It definitely tastes blue.

I can taste the shared 1960s origins. Man. This is fucking good. I got to say, it's very artificial. It's hyper-processed. The decal is fucking good. I gotta say, it's very artificial. It's hyper-processed. The decal is so fun. Like, I love seeing Herbie on there. I love seeing the IP.

It's like really well-printed. I wish it was fully loaded. I honestly do wish it was fully loaded. Tragically, it's not. And yeah, the blue has like, the hue of the blue raspberry is like a little sparkly, which feels kind of magical. Feels kind of supernatural.

Unless he fully loaded, hang out with Neil after an improv show. Don't I know it. He's, yeah, he's probably done that more than you. Ha ha ha ha. Has he? I don't know. He went home a lot, didn't he?

He used to hang out back in the day. The early days of last day, yeah. I'd say probably a few years. It was every week. Yeah, when he was in my 20s. Yeah. He'd stay out a little later. Wasn't always a 5.45 a.m. alarm guy. Damn, 5.45 a.m. is your alarm?

It doesn't shine. I would not want this for breakfast, but as a treat, it is delightful. Yeah. I think it was great. I didn't think it was a snack. You actually loved that. I thought I was gonna hate it. No. Yeah.

I wanna eat all of this and I'm going to. I'm going to. What do you think, Mitch? I think it's good. I'm still nervous about trying to tell this joke. I think it's good. It is a snack. It's not a morning.

No. It's very, it's very artificial. I think a kid would love this. Yeah, kids would love this. Yeah. Is the, do you guys ever get like, at a pastry, like bakeries, like have you seen where people make like,

they make their own pop tarts kind of thing? Like just what I needed does them. I love the just what I needed pop tart. Yeah. I feel like I've seen them a couple other places as well. Yeah, it feels like a new thing, like the upscale pop tart from a bakery. I love it.

That was fun. I worked on two Fantastic Four video games. I remember that. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. Fantastic Four and Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer. Oh, thinking about that lately.

How were those games? Were they well received? I mean, I could talk about them for a while. I'm not going to because it's not particularly interesting. Oh, thinking about that lately. How were those games? Were they well received? I mean, I could talk about them for a while. I'm not going to because it's not particularly interesting. But when I joined development, it was clear that it was like everyone kind of knew this is not what this game should be.

But it was like kind of what had been declared from the publisher, Activision, and kind of just said like, this is what we want. Because it originally started as more of a wham-pow comic book. They had the comic book IP, and then Fox was going to make it into a movie. So they were like, make it into the movie game.

So they had to redo all the art, redo all the character models. And the engine was more set towards a classic, like Turtles in Time sort of beat them up. But they wanted it reoriented towards a 3 like Turtles in Time sort of beat them up, but they wanted it reoriented towards like a 3D action adventure, like platformer slash character action game. And it was just like the engine wasn't quite up to it. There was a, the development time wasn't big enough and didn't have enough of a budget

to rejigger it on the fly. And it just kind of came out kind of half-baked. But there's some stuff in it that I liked. I don't know. Are you looking forward to the new movie? Yeah, why not? Yeah. Yeah.

I'm so burned out of the MCU. I am the same way, and it's actually the first one in a while. I'm like, I might actually go see that one. It feels like it has an aesthetic and a tone, where it's like, OK, I'm kind of into this. And I like the cast. There's something that feels a little funny to me that's,

that like, I feel like a lot of times when you like, I don't know, are doing a reboot of a movie, you're kind of like, hey, how are we upping the game from the last one or something? And there's just something that feels funny to me where it's like, and maybe this is good. I don't know why it's just even striking me at all, but where I'm like, well, the last one's like,

Michael B. Jordan is the human torch. And like, I mean, Miles Teller, I would guess, is about as big a star as Pedro Pascal. Probably, maybe not right now, but you know, not far off. They're both at SNL 50. You know, and then you're like, I don't know. It's just like a funny, like, lateral move, it feels like, in a way.

But I bet, you know. I feel like there's movies, I feel like Fantastic Four maybe just doesn't work. You know what I mean? Like, it feels like they've tried to do it. It does feel like they do not like to show him stretching in the chair. I don't know that I've seen Pedro Pascal being stretchy

in the chair. Yeah, I haven't seen him stretch at all. They've, I mean, part of the issue is like, they cast him and then they found he couldn't do it. Oh, that sucks. Oh, yeah, that's a huge issue. That's tough. Yeah. Padding the resume.

He said he could do it, yeah, and they're just like, oh, yeah, this guy would, you know. That's the same reason why I auditioned for the thing. They would, how many times, I mean, this is the fifth attempt at a Fantastic Four movie, right? None of them really worked? Yeah. Yeah. We count the Roger Corman one?

The Roger Corman, yeah. What are you gonna do? Kind of a conveyor belt. Yeah. Herbie, can I? I was like, it's on a conveyor belt. I texted Weiger what it was, but I'll never say it. And I told him not to say what it is.

No, what? And he'll agree with it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I said it in the thing. You're scared of saying this? It just was the time it passed. You should say it. OK.

The Noid uses the conveyor belt like a treadmill. That's what I was going to say. Go mid. Go mid. Go mid. Proof that he said exactly it. That's good. That's exactly right. And he also said, I put it at the end, don't tell them, though.

Don't tell them. And I did not reach that trust. That's how he stays fit. You're talking about the Noid, not the guy who was- Well, this is part of the reason why I was like, it doesn't make any sense. It's Pizza Hut. Right. And you're talking about the No, the Noi, the character,

not the guy who went crazy. Oh yeah, no, he definitely should use it. He maybe should have used, I think exercise maybe would have helped his mental health a little bit. Ooh, that's a good point. That's very, thanks. I can totally follow the logic of it because he's ruining the Domino's Pizza.

Yes. He's like, Pizza Hut is like, yeah, you have safe harbor and a Pizza Hut you want wanna come over and work out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it makes sense. I mean, the joke makes sense. And it's also like, it's like doing hot yoga. You're on the hot conveyor belt,

so you get a little bit of an extra burn. Yeah. It's kind of like a Stove Top Boys. It is very much like Stove Top Boys. Oh man, you just reminded me of the Stove Top Boys. Stove Top Boys is an improv show that Paul Rust and I would do. We're gonna improv act, so I shouldn't make this up.

I don't know that we ever quite did a more than like a 15-minute set where we were two miniature men who were on top of a stove. Uh, also dressed like sailors for some reason. But we were trying to improv, but we're kind of constantly hopping back and forth from foot to foot going, ow, ow. So we'd be getting suggestions of her jumping back and forth.

Is this Mandela effect or was bare feet an element? Yes, yes, bare feet. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty poor judgment to be in a hot stove with bare feet. They make shoes of it, their size. Yeah. Who's everyone's favorite Fantastic Four member?

I think I like Human Torch. Yeah, Human Torch is the only cool, these the coolest one. Who's everyone's favorite Fantastic Four member? I think I like Human Torch. Yeah, Human Torch is the only cool, he's the coolest one. Yeah, he's kind of try hard, but he is cool. And I feel bad, you gotta feel bad. The thing with the thing is you have to feel bad for the thing because he doesn't like being the thing.

Yeah. And that bums me out. I think when I was a kid, I was so drawn toward the brooding leaders who kind of like a Cyclops or whatever. I like just liked the characters that were like, they don't get the glory and they're not the cool, exciting character, but they have to kind of keep the ship afloat and, and be the leader. I don't know why I liked that, but I was like, I loved Cyclops.

And I, I, so I think Mr. Fantastic was more of like... I liked that he stretches, but they just never do it... I mean, I also didn't... The X-Men TV show got me into X-Men a lot. There was never a good animated fanta... Speaking of animation, there was never a good animated Fantastic Four. Maybe the creative... Creator of Digman could tackle that.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna see who has the rights to that, but maybe I could just do it. animated Fantastic Four. Maybe the creator of Digman could tackle that. Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna see who has the rights to that, but maybe I could just do it. Maybe just give me a four allegiance. I've never seen any of them. Okay. Well, that's for one of the four,

that means the powers are working correctly. The invisible, she can turn invisible. Yes, I get it. I like all the stretchy people though. It's so clearly a thing that's fun for an artist. They were like, this will be so fun for Jack Kirby to draw. And then in a movie, people are like, huh. It looks really cool, like a Kirby to draw. And then in a movie, people are like, huh. Yeah, it looks really cool. Like a comic panel frame when he's like doing all this

like crazy, like he's working on his machines and it's a little less. What's the Elastigirl? Elastigirl, yeah. Yeah. I think that was a good one. I saw the thing at Pizza Hut. He ordered party with one.

He got, he got, he got. He got four of them. He got four of them. Huh? So. So. One So so you shouldn't have done that one you should not have done that one that was the one to hold back on Which thing is this is a rope it's the fantastic for there's four of them. It was a callback to my party of five joke. You got four party of ones. Is this a... Yeah. It was a callback to a joke that vomed horribly. I know, I know.

I was trying to think of the actors who have played the thing. It was from the DRLD from the whole episode. It was Ben Grimm. Ben Grimm was, I don't remember who was in the Josh Trank one. It was Jamie Bell. Jamie Bell, okay, so like-

And there was Michael Chickless before that and Evan Musbacher. Yes. No. Chickless had the very, after Chickless, they went all CGI. He was the last practical. He was the last painted suit, yeah. Chickless was the last practical thing.

Ugh, get me in the suit. Mm. I'm not an actor. Wouldn't it be fun to go, we were talking about Avatar earlier, wouldn't you love to go shoot Avatar in a big tank for eight years? Yeah, that'd be kind of fun. Yes. It would rule. I'm Avatar earlier, wouldn't you love to go shoot Avatar in a big tank for eight years? Yeah, that'd be kind of fun. Yes.

It would rule. Ugh. I'm not an actor, but I love to wear a big suit. I got Spray Plain Blue for Katy Perry music video. Whoa. Wow. It was the coolest day ever. That's awesome.

It was so awesome. I was an alien. That's so cool. And it was so cool because they were doing airbrush and like everybody, like they were like shading everyone different shades of blue and green and stuff. And it was just like so cool to watch. Was that for the, is this a song Alien? It's a different song about aliens. Oh, okay. I would say a less beloved song about aliens called

not the end of the world. Wow. But me and Matt Rogers are aliens. That's cool. Was it full body? Yeah. Wow. Or I guess our legs were aliens. That's cool. Was it full body? Yeah. Wow. I guess our legs were covered, so no, just arms and like,

whatever was exposed. Wow. Yeah, but it was awesome. How long did it take to get spray painted? I feel like we were there, actually not that long, like not as long as I thought. Wow. It was cool.

That seems rad. I love getting all painted up. I love to be blue. Yeah. But you, when you're just looking at avatars, like, man, it'd be cool to be blue. Like, for life, you're saying? No.

The Navi. I mean, yeah, the Navi are like, just it's like, if you were in an avatar, that is just like a little bit of like, oh, I get to be blue for a little bit, then I go back to being a guy. Well, I don't even think they get to be blue. I think they do, right? They don't paint them.

They don't paint the actors blue. But they get to be, but no, but I'm saying like, in reality, if you're on Pandora, Got it, got it, got it. then you get to be that for a little bit. Sure, yeah. You get to kind of LARP as a blue guy, but then you get back being a regular guy.

It would be fun to be, I think it would be fun. It would be fun to be blue for a bit. Yeah, for a little bit. That's awesome. Amenvius is what I'm saying, that's really cool. Smurfs are blue too. Smurfs are also blue, that's a good point. Smurfs are blue.

You could do it if you wanted to. Yeah. If you want to dress up as an avatar for an episode, you could do that. Next time I'm here, can we be blue? I would love that. Oh my God. Do I have to do it as well? You don't have to, but you get to.

Okay, all right. All right, I would... I'm down. Yeah! Oh my God. I'm so serious. How do we do this is my question. I'm so serious. How would we do this is my question. I'll hire an airbrush.

I know the person. I'm still Instagram friends with the person who paints me blue. Wow. Perfect. This cost us like $15,000. It'd be worth it. Just like a restaurant via feedback,

let's open up the feedback. Today's email is from Brian. Brian writes, if there's a movie question, hey, y'all, I'm not sure if this question has been asked in the podcast, but how do you feel about sneaking food into movie theaters? With the price of admission plus concessions,

the total can really add up. If you are sneaking food into the movies, what are you snacking on? Cheers. Thanks, Brian. I have no moral qualms about sneaking food. And if that's what the question is, I don't feel any sort of wrong about bringing food into a movie theater.

Tsk, tsk, I say. I'm bringing a full meal. Oh wow, really a full meal? I love packing bags of all different kinds of food. Wow. But not strong smelling food, but I like having a nut, a chocolate bar, a bag of grapes.

I like having stuff I can pull out and snack on during the movie. Were you putting it in your handbag? Like how you get it in there? Yeah, I'm putting it in my big tote. Yeah. I love it. And then I'm usually still getting a huge Diet Coke.

Like I'm still spending money at concessions, but I'm bringing my water bottle. I'm not gonna pay for water at the movie theater. I'm usually bringing like five different types of food and buying Diet Coke. I'm always bringing, like I'm always bringing like I got my Yeti here. And I will generally have that on hand when I'm seeing a movie these days. But a lot of times I will just buy the big soda. I like getting a big soda. But that's the one thing I will buy. Yeah, I'm with you. If I'm bringing food, I don't always

need food when I'm seeing a movie. But I will have I will just put stuff in my purse. And I like, I've been really into having a banana these days, a banana, and because I can eat, like it's just pure nutrition, and also I can eat it quietly. All you're saying is these days. That's the only bad thing when people sneak in a food that doesn't adhere to sort of the movie packaging,

like unwritten rules, you know, of like, hey buddy, I don't care if you sneak food in, but it can't be like, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, you know, like, that's where it stinks. And you can't bring in like fucking Panda Express that's gonna smell. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

That's a whole issue. I sometimes will enjoy like a roast goose in the theater. Yeah. Yeah. I love hearing people crunch, so I don't mind it. I don't mind it. Is that true? Yeah. I don't mind the bite, like, having a popcorn bite.

I like hearing someone having like a chip. I like that. That's like the opposite of misophonia. I don't know if there, like having a popcorn bite. I like hearing someone having a chip. I like that. That's like the opposite of misophonia. I don't know if there's a way for it. I don't like listening to people go, but I like hearing people crunch. I can get pretty annoyed if I'm here and sometimes it just like, const, ch-ch-ch-ch.

I'm just like, what is happening? What are they looking for here? It's so funny. People do get annoyed when I'm carving my roast goose. For a few minutes it's pretty annoying. I mean, I'm pretty boring at the movie theater, so I'm usually just getting popcorn, which I wouldn't sneak in popcorn, but I could see sneaking in, you know, a bag of peanut M&Ms. Rather than paying $8 for them there.

You are so bad. And then apologizing when I leave. Of course. I, when I saw Brokeback Mountain, I got peanut butter M&Ms. And I snuck them out of the theater because I didn't finish them. I put them in my pocket.

I was coming to work today, didn't wear pants all day yesterday. I wore shorts. Oh, what happened on a big day? No pants. I wore shorts all day yesterday. Nice. I wore shorts. I wore shorts. No, I'm gonna make it a good day. No pants. I wore shorts all day yesterday. My peanut butter M&Ms were in my pocket. I never also- Wow.

Did they melt? They didn't melt, no. That's great. Did you crunch? I crunched, no, because it was right before I came here, but I will crunch them at some point. But I'm more of a, you know that I'm more of a popcorn guy at the theaters and I'll always get a popcorn.

If I'm really, I like getting a going to the AMC and getting like the chicken tenders or the pretzel dippers. I like getting a full meal at the AMC. I haven't done that at the AMC's, but you know, I'll do the Nighthawks and the Alamos. Love Nighthawk. Or is that what it's, yeah.

I still haven't been to Nighthawk. I gotta go. Those are good. This is for our audience who hasn't heard us discuss it previously. It's a New York exclusive, I think as of now, basically equivalent to like an Alamo draft house, a place where you can see a movie and also sit down

and have yourself a meal. It's supposed to be a better overall experience than Alamo. I think so. I lived closer to a Nighthawk, so I always went there. But I loved Nighthawk. Yeah, I've been to that more than Alamo. Wow. I was in Nighthawk and I had a couple of talkers.

They were talking the whole, they were talking the whole time. And again, they weren't on the screen. No, they were not Ben Affleck and The Accountant 2. There were two people I went and saw The Accountant 2 because it was like the only movie I hadn't seen that was at Nighthawk that worked out. And a couple of chatty,

chatty Cathys behind me. Can I be honest Mitch? Because we were talking about food and you said, I had a couple of talkty, chatty Kathies behind me. Can I be honest, Mitch? Because we were talking about food, and you said I had a couple of talkers, and I for a second thought it was like a weird Boston way of saying taco. Me too. Before I crack what you're actually saying.

Tacos in a movie theater, I would get an oint at that crunch. You know what part of the issue with me, whatever I'm eating in a movie theater, I don't like having like, well, this doesn't make me unique among human beings, but I don't like having gross sticky hands, like greasy hands, like I'm eating in a movie theater. I don't like having like, well this doesn't make me unique among human beings, but I don't like having gross sticky hands, like greasy hands, like I can't stand it

to the point where like if I eat something that's sloppy like that, like I eat tacos, like I gotta go wash my hands or use some hand sanitizer afterwards. And so I can't imagine just taking like a couple of Al Pastor tacos and then just sitting through an entire two hour movie. I'd feel greased up and disgusting.

Yeah, I agree with that. Do you ever get nachos at the theater? I do get nachos. That doesn't make your hands all yucky? Emma? We'll talk after the podcast. Okay. Okay.

No, you're right. That actually does make me pretty greased up and gross. So yeah, that actually is a thing. I think the little thing is like, just by grabbing the non-cheesy parts of the chips, I'm able to mitigate the amount of oil that I'm going to want to get. I've had nachos at Nighthawk,

and they're totally good to eat. Tasting good, I mean. But I've had, if I'm just normally eating nachos, I'm trying to be so aware not to spill cheese on me, and I'm leaning over the tables. At a movie theater where you're leaning back, and it's like in front of you. I was like leaning over the tables. And I got a movie theater where you're kind of leaning back. And it's like in front of you. I was like kind of paranoid the whole time.

I was trying to have nachos at the movie theater. I'm like leaning so far forward in unnatural ways so I don't spill ketchup all over myself. That's how I eat nachos too. And I think that's why I never get them at movie theaters. Because I think it'll just like, I'll be too focused on not making a mess and not the movie. Yeah.

And I never think I'm making a mess, and then I stand up at the end of the movie, and I'm covered. Ha ha ha ha. Amelia, what's your movie's second choice? You ever sneak anything in? I'm in the hand holding club with you. Nothing.

Yeah, nothing. Yeah. That or popcorn. And then I usually have it all over myself, or in my shirt. You find it later when you get home and you change, and you're like, oh, there's popcorn in here. Cool. Fun. Yeah, I hate sitting up and like,

there's so many like, uh, goosebones that fall off. Yeah. You're back. Off your tuxedo. Another premiere ruined. You got us back. I lost you? No, you never did.

No, you lost yourself. I lost myself. I found it. If you have a question or comment about the World of Chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-460-463-6844. Our producer is Emma Erdbrink. Our associate producer is Amelia Marino. Our video producer is Casey Donahue. Our video editor, Mike Dorfman.

Doughboys apparel, merchandise, kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys and the Doughboys double R Winkie bonus episode over atods.com slash doughboys and the Doughboyz Double R-Ring Good Bonus episode over at patreon.com slash doughboys. Neo Mitra, Digman, season two coming soon. People can watch season one right now on Paramount+. Exactly, season one's on Paramount+, season two premieres every episode's after South Park this season, so starting July 23rd,

watch brand new South Park, brand new Digman. Our third episode, we have a never before seen color that we're introducing to the world that's in the episode. So you can tune in and see a color you've never seen before. And Mitra's amazing on it and so funny. And you're gonna crack up so hard when you're watching her scenes. And it's a show we're just trying to be funny and joyful

and I hope you enjoy it. And it is all thanks to Neil Campbell. I'd say guaranteed guffaws. Me? That is two of the funniest people that we're on. Yes, two of the funniest. And it's a funny show that exists for the sake of being funny and people should,

like I know sometimes I'm not everyone has, you know, cable, but you know, if you do have comedy, you should definitely check it out and definitely check out the first season of Paramount Plus. Yes, and another Doughboy's fave, Andrea Jin. She and I wrote the season finale together. Wow. For that and season two, yeah.

And don't judge Kenny too hard. He maybe was having a bad day when you guys saw him. I think Spenny had been coming after him. Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Because they were a comedy duo, Kenny and Spenny. Yeah. And then Kenny broke off into South Park.

Yeah. Yeah. It's weird, because if you watch Kenny and Spenny, he seems like a completely different guy. Yeah, I agree. I agree. But I guess with the hood on, it's just like, you know. Sure, sure.

And you just sort of hope. In Cognito. I won't get fact-checked on this. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha