Doughboys - Plant Power Fast Food with Ashly Burch and Mort Burke

Episode Date: September 25, 2025

Ashly Burch (@ashlyburch) and Mort Burke (@mortburke) of Rebrand joins the 'boys to talk pet food, meatless diets, and movie snacks before a review of Plant Power Fast Food. Plus, another edition of Serving USA.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/386374/grocery-store-meat-purchasinghttps://news.tulane.edu/pr/how-mere-12-americans-eat-half-nations-beef-creating-significant-health-and-environmentalhttps://laherbivore.com/plant-power-fast-food/https://www.worldofvegan.com/plant-power-fast-food/https://www.plantpowerfastfood.com/our-impactSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Wiggs, lately I've been reaching for the same thing for lunch and dinner multiple times a week. Goodalls! Goodalls taste just like the mac and cheese we know and love but packed with protein and nutrients. And the newly launched single-serve cups are perfect for business. busy schedules. That's right, Wiggs. Good Old Cups are a life server when I'm in a hurry and

only have a few minutes for lunch or dinner. Just add water, microwave, and have a snack or meal ready to go. Wow. Every serving of Goodol's mac and cheese has 14 grams of protein, 7 grams of fiber with prebiotics and 21 vitamins and minerals from real plant sources. They have an amazing variety of flavors. My favorite is the Shell of Good. Shell of Good is Shell of Good, Wags. Plus, there are vegan and gluten-free options. It's a low-glycemic index food, which means it provides steady energy instead of a carb crash. And on top of that, it's kosher and Clean Label Purity Award certified. Do what we did. Get yourself some Goodalls. We know you'll love them too. Pick up Goodalls on your next shopping trip. It's available nationwide at Target

and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. And don't forget the new single serve cups. In 1909, the USDA first tracked per capita meat consumption in America. The figure represented a high watermark until the late 1940s, America's economy and eating habits subdued by a Great Depression flanked by two world wars. But since World War No. 2, the quantity of meat eaten per person has steadily climbed new heights by some figures doubling since the 1960s. A triumph for the meat and dairy industry, which aggressively lobbied the public with ad campaigns

like Got Milk, Pork, the other white meat, and beef, it's what's for dinner. The latter was couched in Americana, with a score by Aaron Copeland and narration from Robert Mitchum. Increasingly carnivorous Yankees, part of a global trend, has been disastrous for animals subjected to factory farming and for the environment at large as meat production pumps methane into the atmosphere and drains the water supply. And like everything in America, the increased indulgence is rooted in inequality. A 2023 Tulane University study showed that just 12% of Americans account for half of its beef eating. But one encouraging development has been the rise of plant-based fare tailored to American cravings for hot garbage. In 2016, a trio of co-founders opened a vegan fast food concept in the

San Diego neighborhood of Ocean Beach. The company's low-impact ethos extends not just to its menu but to its interior design, with the renewable and recyclable materials used for its tables and chairs. Today with eight locations in California, plus one in Las Vegas, as mainstream chains like McDonald's and the Yum Brands Trifecta of KFC Pizza Hut and Taco Bell have rolled back their plant-based protein options, this West Coast eatery is at least servicing the niche who crave indulgent fare that doesn't emissurate animals and destroy the ecosystem. But with increasing striation extending to every aspect of society, including meat consumption, committing to a plant-based diet while a relative handful of Americans consume the majority of red meat,

feels akin to driving an EV while your neighbor is rolling coal. Ah, well, shit sucks. This week on Do Boys, Plant Power Fast Food. Welcome to Do Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Arnold Palmerston, the streetman, Mike Mitchell. It's right, a pommerston place, Arnold Palmer, that I get, I mean, the golfer, but also the golfer with a huge hog, apparently, the fucking hammer. Okay. He has a big hog?

That's what the president said. Well, we can trust him. Am I wrong? Did he say that when he died? Yeah, I think it was like, I think that's what it was. I think it was a part of his eulogy. I mean, I don't think it was part of his eulogy. He said it as memorial service.

I think there were some offhand comments he made. Oh, well, I'm sorry, not his eulogy. He said it as soon as he heard he had died. Is that true? Didn't he say it like right around them? When did Arnold Palmer die? Do we have any context on that? Or did he just say it offhand?

I thought he just said it offhand. I thought he was just like, but I don't, but I have no idea. I like imagining that he heard that he died. I went, oh, no, his hog. Well, how's this hog? It's also dead? 2016, him and the hog have been dead since 2016. RIP the hog.

RIP, the hog. RIP, that beautiful hog. That thing is probably still decomposing, is my guess. He's the skeleton, but that big-ass dick is. Worms are eating well. The worms are probably bowing down to that thing. Oh, it's their gun. Shai Hulud.

Arnold Palmerston, inspired by Mitch's hand and Weiger's drink invention. Thanks for the amazing live shows this year. My wife and I drove from Ohio to New Jersey for the Newark Show. Wow. How about that? That was kind of a nice...

That was kind of a toast. A little bit of a toast, sure. I mean, you know, we're talking about your old address, which you used to give out on the podcast. That's true. Did you really? I haven't given out the new one.

I didn't get the number out, but then people did find. it. So one left a mystery drink on my doorstep. And I wanted to drink it and Wags didn't want to drink it. And he was probably right. Yeah, it was correct. It was loose.

It was, I mean, it was like, it wasn't like sealed. There was also some cookies that got dropped on your door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't sealed was the issue. Yeah. Oh. So, like, it was like a drink that they had made. Ah.

And you were pretty sure that there was come in it. Yeah. Sure. That would just be my calculation. Yeah, for sure. But I can't say with any, you know, I'm just guesstimating. Yeah, there's going to be some piss in there. Yeah.

Maybe some sort of bodily fluid. Some fluid of some kind, yeah. Speaking of toast, it's a little toasty in here to the headcom. It is a little warm. Air conditioning is broken, which we've kind of noticed forever. We thought maybe there were flies blocking the duct or something. We had said a lot of different theories. There's some theories, yeah.

But now it's officially broken. We had, Marty Michael, the CEO of HeadGum, was in here. He's a tall drink of water. As is Emma, Emma was helping him up onto a stool so he could reach up and you may see that vent over your head, Mitch. And it just, and he was just like, yeah, nothing's coming out of here. I mean, it's just, I don't, I think people don't know what's going on. But yeah, it's really warm in here. You got the CEO of Headgums checking the vent?

That's right. Wow. Strange operations. You're telling me. Only employee in the building. It's okay. It's only the hottest part of the year here in Los Angeles. Yeah.

Yeah, that's fine. We just slammed fast food. And we slammed fast food. And also, I took ZEQuil last night, which, with the, which I'm just trying to, you know, I was in. Canada this weekend wise that's right I was there for the Napa Boys premiere at Tiff

I can't wait to see Napa Boys you're such great things about Napa Boys Nick Karrasi and Armand Wightsman directed this film that you have a part in That's correct I loved it premiered at Tiff It premiered it premiered at Tiff We walked the red carpet I remember I was with Hanford Hanford and I was like Hanford let's go get a picture with each other on the red carpet

We walked over and you know Ricky Linholm and Natasha Legerro the lights of bulbs are growing off And I was like here we go Hanford and then just the bulbs all die. They were like not. Hamper was joking that the picture guy had us take a picture of him. But it was a blast. And I said this.

I made a little letter box review. But I said that it reminded me of seeing South Park Bigger, Longer, and Uncutt for the amount that I laughed and for the people that were walking out during it. I think it's a badge of honor. I think it's one of my favorite comedies. I think they did a great job. I went to Pizzeria Balgiwagliwags. I didn't get to go to your restaurant still. Tenuno.

Still on the docket. I didn't get to go to Tunno. That was a Mars Melnick recommendation. We all went. We went to Amelia and Emma and Mars and myself. A lot of fun. What a hoot. I didn't get to go.

Honestly, maybe the best memory of Toronto. Little Canada is up there. Little Canada was up there, yeah, for sure. What's Little Canada? Oh my God. Little Canada is magical. If you're ever in Toronto, it is a small scale. representation, like model railroad proportions representation of the entirety of Canada.

Wow. And yeah, it is, it's one of those things like you hear about. And I was hearing about it and people are like, you got to go to this thing. I'm like, all right. And then I go in there and I'm just enchanted. How big is little Canada? It's not particularly big. Really?

Yeah. Interesting. No, it's like the what, what, the interior of a best buy? It's not like a huge amount of real estate. What? Yeah. Maybe a little bigger than that. There's multiple floors.

That's pretty big. That's pretty big. That's pretty big, actually. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. It is, it is really. And now there's too many uses in there, Wags.

What? There's two little uses. Oh, I thought you said too many uses. Many, you said. Too many uses. Too many uses. There's a little, we got littleized. Oh, you got little eyes.

Are you guys doing a little podcast? You can actually see their post behind you. There's a big, like, statue of it. Yeah, that's, yeah. Oh, that's cute. Hell. That's goddamn adorable. Yeah, me and Mitch are, have our arms around each other,

and Emma's standing giving the double thumbs up. Oh, that's so cute. Yeah. By the way, you said, you said mini sounded like many. And then you had me thinking, mini me, how about many me? Many me is a great. They just make a bunch of mini me clones. Many me is very good.

It would be fun. Austin Power's four, why not? That's true. They're rebooting everything else. Yeah. So might as well. Didn't I have a, didn't I have a mini me pitch? Remember?

Didn't you have a mini me pitch? I see. Can I remember? What was it? He was the lead of the movie? Is that what you're saying? I had a take on Minnie Me Going through your notes

I am going through my notes There should be a Maxi Me as well Maxi Me is a funny I think that's what it was Maxi Me is a good one Me suggests the existence of a Maxi Yeah I think Doctor he's a medium me Yeah

And then there's a fat bastard Kind of takes that role of like the big guy But that does not preclude a Maxi Me who's just like maybe a very tall guy Yep I think like a Victor Wemba Niyama And give him a bald cap Yeah I think proportionally similar but huge I want like a Kaiju sized one

Oh that'd be fun You know what I mean? What is that? Like a build, like a size of Godzilla, like the size of a building. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Monster Me. Yeah, Monster Me. Oh, very good, yeah.

I think it was maybe Mega Meat. Does no one remember this? I don't remember this at all. I like that in your mind, everybody's probably four years later, thinking about the mini meat pitchy. You rift. This is, this is, I said it on the show. So listeners will.

Go ask the DoSquare. Me. Yeah, I'm just saying me because I just thought, oh, fuck. You're looking for, you're searching for me. I searched for mini-me. Okay. My brain, look, I was going to say my brain is mush because I took, do you know that I got some Z-Quil?

You know that there's a whole quill multiverse. Do you know that there's, there's pain, Z, and Nye. Well, I know, I know, I know day, I know Nye, I know Z. Day, there's day. I do not know pain. What's pain, quill. Pain is the new, is a new member of the NyQuil or the quill multiverse. It's, pain is just like if you're, I guess if you're, I guess if you're,

I guess. You take pain quill. Pain quill sounds like a Kojima boss. I mean, yeah, you taste a little cup of it, I guess. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Don't they all just put you to sleep? Isn't that what they all do? Right, probably, right? They're the same formula. Well, Dayquil is not supposed to put you to sleep.

Okay. And pain quill is not supposed to put you sleep. ZeeQuil does. NyQuil does. Wow. Painquil, I'm not sure. I have no idea. But if you take enough of them, they all make you trip really crazy. That is, I take all four. suicide style. I used to robo trip. I think I believe I've talked

about this as well. I've said everything about my life in the show. There's nothing. So all of it's new. Anything that I say is just new. You're doing fine. I'm going to find out what I said about me. But I've had a pitch on mini-mead. I didn't get to see any other movies up to TIF. Don't be buried in your phone the whole episode. I'm not going to be buried in my phone. I'm going to ask them one

question. I'm looking for it too. I'll also pitch a micro-mee, which which is a later sequel to the movies or whatever. That's pretty good. The mini-mees, they become a virus. Right, right. Like Ant-Man kind of. Yep, exactly. And then you could have a crossover.

In the downsizing universe, micro-mee. Yeah, there you go. That's good. That's good. Micro-Mee, mini-me, medium-me, me, and monster me. Yeah. Yeah. Was it Mega Minions?

No, the Mega Minions are a real thing that are indespicable Me for. Those are the, but they're not like mega-sized, as you might think. again, thinking a kaiju-sized minion, they are like just superpowered minions. And if Dr. Evil got cloned, it would just be Mimi. That's good. That's good. Mimi.

And then like another one of him comes out. How boring. There's a woman version of him that's also named Mimi. Mimi. Yeah, my, am I. That's good. She, Mimi. Mitch, I have a sincere thing I want to say real quick,

just because I've been talking about on the podcast. And recently I've been dealing with major depression. I have a book recommendation for my therapist that's really helped me out. It's called overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts. So if anyone out there is looking for something having issues with like rumination or the same thoughts reintering your head, I found this book very, very helpful. That's the OCD I had, by the way, my man. What's that?

What the fuck? They're cheering for us. Major depression. There's a headgum live stream next door. That's what's going on. And then we have the door ajar because of the heat. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you have OCD too? I have OCD, yes, yes, and it was recurring thoughts. Wow. Yeah, you should check out this book. Yeah, Ashley's got it too. Yeah, you're good. You're like, nah, I'm good. It'll all get solved if you find that mini-me pitch.

I have asked the dose cord, and we'll see what the dose cord says. No responses so far. Yeah. It's only been up for a few minutes. Yeah, again, you're just going to be buried in your phone the whole episode. I'm not going to be buried in my phone. I will look and see if they respond. just have like hey amelia can you check in with the dose

Gordon if anyone responds just give mitch a heads up okay good yeah I'll keep an eye out I think I think it was a big I think my I think I think it was mega me I think that's what I will I think it was Mega me is pretty good yeah I think it was Megamy yeah this is funny to continue talking about I am sorry that you're experiencing major depression

yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a serious hard thing man yeah what are gonna do yeah yeah you're doing great yeah we're having fun It's also okay if you're not. It's plenty of shit to be depressed about. It's true. It's true. Yeah.

Look, I'm a Patriots fan and I will say that in the last 10 years it's been a lot harder to search Patriots on any social media. Sure, right. Right. Because there's a lot going on in the world in a lot of different ways. So, like, you know. How do you think I feel about my favorite baseball? team the Atlanta

Groyper's. Can't wear any of your merch. No, and I have so much. Uh, never right. I admit you, you got a drop to play. All right, I've got a drop to play. Hit them with a drop, Emma.

Tenders are long nuggets. Tenders are just long nuggets. Tenders are long nuggets. Tenders are just long nuggets. Nuggets. He calls Tenders Tendings. Tendings. Tendings.

Tendings. Tendings. Tendors. Tenders are long nuggets. This just proves my... This is very funny that this is it, because I think I do just have a lot of size jokes, I guess. It's a good point. Tenders are just They are, it's true

I was saying we should do Strawberry tall cake I was saying we should do at some point That's right Oh yes Tenders are long

Nuggets Talent T-A-L-O-M Isn't your pitch Strawberry Long Cake And then someone corrected it It said it should be tall cake Yeah The feedback question was

What food would you make Longer And I said strawberry long cake And I said strawberry long cake Okay so I've called it Both things I fucked up Hey dough boys

This one goes out to all the fools All the Fools out there saying that nuggets are just short tenders. Wow. Thanks for setting the record straight and for the good podcast. The podcast is good. All right, Brent. Thanks, Brent. Brent, New Hampshire. Doth protest

too much, Brent. Drops at birdfuck.com. Mitch, very, very excited to have today's guests here. They co-host the podcast rebrand Ashley Birch and Mort Burk. Thank you both so much for being here. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us. What a who? Mort, you're a veteran in the podcast, Ashley,

your first time. Thank you. thank you for hopping on board. We have to start here. Your last names are very similar. They're very similar. Birch and Burke, they share the first three letters. Yep.

That's wild. It's really weird. Yeah. And then Ashley had gotten male before we met addressed to Ashley Burke. No, while we were together, but before we were married.

Oh, really? Yeah. Addressed to Ashley Burke, and I think you've gotten some more at Birch. Uh-huh. Wow. And then I would say my,

I don't know if you guys remember, but my Doe Boy's name. Yes. Fork burb. Fork burp. Yeah. So then we were trying to decide if she was going to be Ashley Burp because she didn't take my real name

because she's a fanonist but you know just in true romance like will she take the last name burp as her doughboy's name well am I bequeathed a name is that how it works or I think it's a co-lab we can we can be a discussion seems a little bit more serious about it than I thought of you

I just like shoehorning it in for no reason every time I come here I don't know I feel like there's an Ashley Hashley maybe there's something there Hashley burp. Haschley burp. I feel like it would mean a lot to you if I took your last name in this context.

Yeah, if you took burp. If I took burp. So I'll be hashly burp. Wow. How about there? How about that? It's canonized. Okay, so I went on your podcast where you brand,

had a lovely time, pet the hell out of your dog, Cody. Yes. Great dog. We're obviously sitting next to Gemmy here, but you are dog parents. And you have cats as well? We do.

What is the animal count in your household? Two cats, one dog. Wow. Yep. We have a mom and daughter. cat combo. Mom is Samantha and the daughter is Kevin. We did not know Kevin was a girl. Wow. They told me Kevin was a boy and then I found out on National Women's Day that I took it to the vet and they were like, this is a girl. We're not changing the name. It doesn't,

also, Kevin, we're pretty sure is non-binary. Like she doesn't exhibit any gender stereotypes at all. She's like a little creature. Yeah. She's a gremlin. Whereas Samantha is very much, very womanly. Yes. Wow. She's femme. Yes, absolutely. Yep, cross-is-is-er. Yeah. Kind of a Samantha. Yeah, she's kind of a Samantha. It's true. Yeah. Kevin, who I love is like a little creep. Yeah.

Wally's a little, Wally's definitely, Wally is like a little dumb boy cat. And then Irma's a sweet little baby girl. You know Irma. Yeah, I know. And then, Jimmy, of course, is a horny southern bell. Jimmy is? Like Rue McClan.

She's like Blanche. Yeah. He's like Gwashed. Jimmy. I had no idea. That's why do you say that because my sister is saying with some friends right now and she sent a picture of their dog and their dog. I was like, this dog was like,

be Arthur, and she was like, oh, my God, it does. It's very strange that you say that. Yeah. I'll send the picture to you. Heavy Golden Girls energy. Pretty spot on. What do you, like, what do you feed your animals? And Mort, I know, as someone who, you know, I know you're, you're vegan. Ashley, I believe your pescatarian, is that correct?

Eat eggs as well. Like, like, I, but I know it's tricky as, as pet parents, like, in terms of what you feed your animals. Like, does that calculus enter things at all? Or you just, like, whatever the animals, you know, need or? Well, I'm, I'm not vegan. I am like vegetarian, I eat, I eat fish as well, but I don't eat meat or pork. Yeah.

But we, which is, it almost seems arbitrary to be like, well, no cows, but fuck all these chickens. You know what I'm like? Yeah, sure, right. But yeah, we usually, they eat fish. Like, I just bought cat food today with pumpkin and herring. Yeah. You also don't eat chicken, honey. Yes, I don't.

That's true. Well, we did actually, we do try to buy like fish-based food for the animals for Cody our dog as well. And more found, like, vegetarian food at one point for Cody. And I was like, let's try it. And he just shit. everywhere. He did not. He was not a fan. And we had to go back to the fish based.

Yeah, for sure. Hated it. Yeah, hated it. But what remind me, because I, and I apologize for mischaracterizing it, but like, like, you, you avoid animal products as much as possible. I know that this is something that we've, when we previously reviewed, the chain that is now closed. Oh, yeah. Oh, what the hell is it called?

Honeybee. Honeybee. Honeybee, yeah. We reviewed the now closed honeybee. That was also a plant-based fast food. We liked honeybee. Yeah, we did. We had a good time.

They were on their way out. Well, I think I did tell the story, but I volunteered at the gentle barn because I really love animals. And I had eaten one million hamburgers in my life. Like, I just, I didn't give a shit. But then after a while, I was like, I really liked these cows. And then I just stopped wanting to eat meat. So that needs to, I need to do that again so hard that I stopped wanting to eat cheese.

Uh-huh. That needs to be the next food. You know, because I... Cheese is the hard one. Yeah. I don't drink milk because it just seems gross to me, but I'll still do a pizza now and again. Right. Whatever.

Yeah. I mean, cheese is a hard one to replicate. I feel like the nice thing is that like Impossible burgers have gotten pretty close. Yeah, not bad. At least a fast food burger, I would say. I mean, I haven't had a fast food burger in a minute, so you guys would be the ones to tell me. But like, yeah. No, I mean, the Impossible Whopper is like one of my favorite fast food items that's out there

because it just is a whopper with an impossible patty. And it's a great simulacrum of the real thing. That's good. You know, yeah. And we almost suggested the melt because they have an insane veggie burger that fully He tastes like a regular smash burger. Yeah. It's,

Oh, wow. I would highly recommend the melt veggie burger is really good. Yeah. Well, the cheese is the big, I don't know if I could ever give up pizza, a cheese pizza. I always need pizza of some sort of like. That's the, and the cheese just isn't, American cheese there is, they've gotten a lot better with American cheese with vegan food. Yeah, that they can kind of synthesize.

But even that needs like, like, you don't want to eat one of those just, you know, on their own. Like, you'd like that's, you want to melt that a lot. little bit over some fries or in a patty or something like that. But you're Mr. Slice. You can't give up on your pizza. I can never give up on pizza. There is a... When's the last time you baked a bar pizza? It's been a while. Oh, man. You're so good at it.

I got to do... I know, it's just such a pain in the ass doing it. Get back in the kitchen. You know, it's ant season. I went away to... I went to San Francisco for a day and I came back and the ants were already... Oh, yeah. They're all over our kitchen too. Yeah. They're... They they crawl in, they came in through the kitchen window. Yeah.

They crawled right through there. and they overtook Walling Irma's food. What do you guys feed your, what cat food do you guys use for your cats? Today I get, I think it was called, it was a specific one. It was like N&P is what it was called, I believe. I think it was the same brand as last time because we have to keep them on the same one. No, it was. Oh, it was.

I asked the lady, what did I get last time? Because they puke so easily. Is this the way with your cats? Oh, Irma barfs all the time. God, they love to bark. She barfed today. She barfed this morning in my, and I moved her. I was like, just don't barf on anything.

I'm fine if you barf just on the floor Just like don't barf on on like papers Or something like that Why do cats barf so much? Can you ask the dough cord? My cats barf so much? You know, I bet someone in there is probably Maybe we have a vet in there of somewhere

Or someone who works But our cats are puking all the time And then Cody wants to eat it Maybe they're pledging a sorority You think Irma's pledging a sorority? Well, we always be little of them about their weight So I'm gonna let me something Yeah, we are body shaming our animals

in every chance to begin. Is it like hair balls? Are they throwing up hair balls? No. Mine does. I believe it's what the cat, the internet's cat daddy calls scarf and barf.

Yeah. I think they eat too fast. Yeah. So sometimes I'll stand by them, let them eat, pull the thing away while they meow at me in frustration for like five seconds

and then put them up there. Does they have these for dogs that like bowls that look like a maze that slow them down and don't let them eat as fast? Do they make something like that for cats? Oh, they probably do. Oh, we should look into that.

We should. Unless serves us our meals in those bowls. They kept barfing everywhere. How old are your kitties? They're probably, they're getting up. Well, not up there because cats live a long time, but I think they're probably like seven and six. Okay. No, I think older because we've been together for nine beautiful years.

How about that? How about that? And the cats have been there the whole time? Yeah. And Kevin was almost in a newborn when we met. Yes. So, yeah, probably right on 10 and 11 maybe. Yeah, 10.

nine and ten maybe. Long in them are nine. Cats do live a long time. They do. They're doing great. Oh, they're doing it beautifully. Thank you. They're doing great. They'll never die.

It doesn't remind me of this. The previous cat that I had this wonderful cat named Michelle, when I first got Michelle, I remember the first night, I went to sleep. I couldn't get the cat to come out from underneath the couch, and I went to sleep, and I woke up in the middle of night to what sounded like an old woman going, Hello? And I was like, it sounded like a woman in a filthy nightgown. You know what I mean?

And it was the cat just. made a sound like the word screaming hello Was she stuck or was it just She just was I guess freaked out Because she didn't know Whatever she was like a new house

Yeah Hello What is it Sound like that My friend Uly has a cat Name Oliver who is just Garfield He is an orange tabby

That eats anything that is like He does this thing Where if you leave bread on the counter He'll eat through the middle Of every single piece Yeah And through the plastic And through the plastic

And then eats through the middle of every single piece of bread. So no crust. No crust. He's only, just middles. He's like the middles that were the juices, baby. I mean, it's very cute to picture the cat being in the middle of the loaf after eating its way through there.

I've been telling him we should try to stage a picture where we put out lasagna and see what happens, and like break the internet or whatever. But he has like a timed feeder for his cat, and he went away for like a couple of days and his cat knocked the top off of the timed feeder, knocked the entire food. It was like a week's worth of food, knocked it over, and then ate so much he fell asleep and then woke up and then kept eating a week's worth of food in like

two hours. Wow. Which again, I do the same thing when Ashley leaves me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm curious about something else I heard about your diet which is that you don't eat sugar. Is that true? Yeah. Like no sugar? No, not exactly. So I say I don't eat sweets because basically everything has sugar

in it. But I don't eat candy bars, shakes, cakes, rakes. Yeah, I just don't eat it Because I ate, Ashley was with me too I just like everything I do I do so compulsively that I eventually have to stop it So I had to stop cigarettes, I had to stop drinking

I had to stop caffeine I don't drink caffeine And when I quit sugar And I think this really speaks to how much I was eating more than anything The depression that I had went from like a month to like an hour Yeah, it was really wild

Yes, my depression like lessened significantly I think I was really, really addressing all of my emotions with various kinds of... Can I interject for a second? Don't even think about it. Me cramming two twinkies in my mouth just before we started recording. What's wrong?

It just can't come and the shirt's not buttoned and you're like, hey, well, gonna do it over there. It's the only thing keeping you going. I made a big mistake. I ordered a bag of mambas because we had mambas. in the show. And I was like, I love mambas. I got some, I got some mambas. The orange raspberry and strawberry kind of. What are mambas? Oh man. They're like starbursts kind of. Yeah. They're good as hell. Yeah. And I mean, I loved, again, I, yeah. We'd eat like three or four bags of

like Haribo gummies and one sitting. Yeah, because we had the, we had a market not far from us that had like this wonderful selection of European stuff. And then over when I lived in Silver Lake, there was that place that had like a $20 whopper milkshake. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, I think it was called milk. Yeah. That place. Oh, I remember milk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I OD'd on those things. You were thinking Burger King Wopper. No, yes, yeah. Oh, you mean Wopper the candy. Oh, yes, Wopper the candy. Oh, yes, Wopert the candy. No, no, no.

But I've, like, I've been, I had been to milk. I don't know if they're still around. But, yeah, that is like one of those artisan dessert places. Yeah. You need a big ass straw to get those woppers up. Oh, yeah. You really do. Bigger than a boba.

Yeah. Wait, that's not milk a bar, right? there's a separate milk. It just said milk. Yeah. There's a separate, there's a separate L.A. area thing that's milk,

milk bar is more. Was that on Beverly? Was that a diagonal cross from the, of a, the, uh, there was one there by the, was that,

that wasn't milk bar or was that just? No, that was milk. Milk bar is like the pink and white confetti logo. And then milk was like just red letters. Yes. Yes. What was no?

And the I was a milk bottle. Milk was like a milk bottle. Milk might be gone. Oh, really? It was right next to that 711 across from LaMille, that coffee shop. yes that might be gone do we never do milk

I don't think so we never did milk are any milk's left and it's gonna be that's impossible to find out I know looking at does is milk still around it's like you're trying to search for Patriot yeah it is the same damn issue you did milk bar yeah we did milk bar we did milk bar the milk shop is the other one uh yeah we are closed dang sad day RIP RIP is that and Arnold Palmer's hog this is just not working out by the way

we asked the dose score they're not they're just not being helpful why I remember when milk was open because there were the two milk locations and then next to them was a lemonade and then around the corner of Fudge was made what a great rhyme that was

well Ashley like do you like spicy food or you're something of a heat seeker I do like spicy food yeah I am like what intensity level do you go with Um, I, I am trying to modulate it a little bit because I do think I'm trying to prove something to myself culturally that I don't need to do because my mom is Thai and I feel like somehow I'll earn my tines if I can eat spicy foods. But I can like handle like hot at most high places. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there is a point where it's like you're not tasting anything anymore. We were just talking about this. It's like if it starts to taste like battery acid, then I'm not interested. Yeah. That's the same thing I run into because, you know, I'm something of a heat. Seeker. I'm a bit of a heat seeker. Amelia, remind me which formulation you prefer.

I think it was settled that both are acceptable. Both are acceptable. I didn't know if one was like the correct one. Wait, where were the two options again? I'm a bit of a heat seeker. A bit of a heat seeker. A bit of a heat seeker. I thought it was a bit of a heat seeker. I may have started as a bit of a heat seeker and it's a, it's changed.

You changed it to something around the time I started working. So that, to me, that's the OG. Oh, okay. Because one of them. Canon that is a bit of a heat see. backwards. No, I don't remember because, like, one of them I remember you saying you didn't care for. I like something of a heat seeker.

You like something of a heat seeker better, okay. Are you going to just go by Amelia or are you going to go with me and Emma? I don't know. I'm like, I'm just curious. Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. Be getting my ass kicked by all three of them. Ask the dose board. We got a lot of questions out to the dose cord right now.

The key is, whichever formulation you use, a bit of a heat seeker, something of a heat seeker. that first part is key because I don't want to go like all the way like I like some burn I like a bit of a burn you know what I mean like a bit of a burn

or some of a burn it's great question what I break on this podcast that we showed up on oh no we're gonna do it we're gonna divide the doughboys it also be really crazy

if Mike just beat the shit out of everyone in here that's just ruthless I probably use this which we need to we do need to

take a bye to this McRibsauce-wise. Yeah, Mitch is holding up a 40-ounce jug of McRibsauce, which McDonald's sent us, which has been sitting on a shelf well past its expiration date in February of this year. I'm wondering if we should like auction it off for charity or something. That's a great idea. Oh, yeah. I mean, no one will want

to buy it. It's expired. Yeah. But it's been on the beloved podcast, Doble. And you guys could sign it? That's true. We could sign it. We'll figure it. He hates this idea because any time we give away a gift, it just never happens. Would you want to send this to someone?

Is it also going to cost like probably $30 to ship it? Is someone from Russia going to buy it? Or should I just take a sip of it and throw it away? No, don't take a sip of it. I'll get, want me to get a straw? Don't drink expired McRibsau. All right, here's the deal. We could, maybe we could say we could find out how much we could get for charity

if we signed it and gave it away or if I sipped some of it and then we signed it and gave it away. I kind of want to sip it. What do you mean? Just drink it then. You sip it to just drink it. It explodes in the mail. They get a box just full of McRib sauce. That's true.

We'll wrap it in bubble wrap. Look, we just fucking drink it. You want to do it. Just drink it. I might do it. I could do it. Yeah, do it. You want to.

Amelia really wanted you to, too. There was so much glee. I don't want to watch you. We discussed putting a straw with it on the table next to you. Do you remember that Seattle live show or Drop King came on stage? And he brought expired soda that had like, It had fucking molding. It had mold in it.

It had mold in it. It was like a specific. And we were like fucking gross. It had to drink of that shit. Yeah, it was like a specific flavor pack from like 30 years ago. Oh God. And then he found on eBay and then he like chugged it. It was like branch soda or something.

Oh. Didn't you do a shot of it? No, I don't think I did. Or you talked about it. It was a, you know, because I remember at his eulogy. We talked about what a huge hog he had. R-A-P. I'll repeat a drop game.

He's dead too now, I guess. I could easily, I don't know if I have to, it is sealed kind of hard. I just don't want to say Mike throw up red all over the, yeah, like the dog and couch. It's going to be red most likely no matter what. But those mambas

will guarantee it. And you're hemorrhaging esophagus. Yes, that is well. It is hard to break into, but I would take a sip of it. We'll see what the, we'll see what the people want. What do you mean? We'll see what the people want.

We'll just take a fucking sip of it. piece of shit. Do you want me to go get a straw or something? No, I just do what, like, what? Yeah, what is your mechanism for pulling the people? I have to, I have to stab it. By polling the people, do you mean just like, we'll see what the episode response is

when this comes out? Just show, just send me a pen. I'll just fucking, I'll stab it, no. I'll just fucking stab it and drink it. Like, I want to say, you deserve better than this. Yeah, you don't have to be doing this. No one is asking you to do this. You're doing this to yourself. Yeah, I mean, it's very,

We'll see. February was a while ago. Do you fair, McDonald's? It's a barbecue sauce. Give a little sniff. How does it smell? McDonald's sent it to us two months before its expiration date, so they thought we would go through that in two months. How does it smell?

You look unsure. It smells like barbecue sauce. Okay, all right. There's no mold on the top of it. All right. That's a good sign. The expiration date's more of a suggestion. How many months is that?

It's currently September? It's a wild. It's five months. Five months? Take a swing, spoon, man. Seven months. Seven months. That's true, but it's not...

Just go for it. All right. Oh, God. That's a big... That's a big sip. That's more than a sip. You didn't have to do that much. How much of it did you drink?

Oh! Does it taste like a McRibb? Hell yeah. It tastes a lot like the McRibb. Yeah, you can't go wrong. Do you like... Did you back in your... This is not going to auction it.

I'm not going to auction it. I'm not sure. Pretty good. Pretty good. Back in your more carnivorous days, did you ever have a McRib? No. I think I did and I thought they tasted weird. I don't like them.

Yeah. Yeah, for me, a big part of it is that just the, the weird shape of the patty that seems to like imply the existence of bones where there are no bones. It's like it looks like it's ribbed. Very funny. You're getting into this conversation. because this is a lot of what we're talking about today, Wags. That's a great point. Yeah.

We need to figure out fake bones. We need to figure out fake bones. We need to figure out the fake bone. For your buffalo wings, et cetera. Yes. For your fake chickens. I guess it would just be a thing you're throwing away, right? Yeah.

And the point of actual chicken wings, right? Is that the meat near the bone is moist? Sure. But there's also kind of the physical act of like, you know, I do enjoy like working on a flat or whatever. like it's like I get the the physicality of it right you know um but it's yeah that there's not like really a plant based equivalent of that you we're talking about like they sometimes will put them on on like a like a dowel or something a little stick but it's not really the same

phenomenon no and I don't know what even if you did try to replicate it you're not going to do one with that's like a bunch of tiny thin bones like a wing probably you would never try to do that well part of me is like the like Like, you know how they've grown meat in the lab? You're like, they've grown like, right? They've grown like beef in a lab now at this point. They've tried it. I don't, I mean, I don't think any of it's like replicable at scale is the issue, but they've done it.

Yeah. Like, I think at some point, maybe it is just growing a bone that belonged to no animal and then putting it in. That's a question for you. If they could grow meat at a large scale, would you eat the meat? Only if the meat screamed when I ate it. That's a possibility. I'm saying help no, please no. I'm sentient.

God help me. The problem with being carnivorous is that more things it's not cruel enough. He wants more. I want blood firing out of my mouth and stuff. That is what's interesting is, yeah, I don't want it replicated. Like sometimes, you know what I mean?

Sometimes the impossible, there's like kind of the juice of it that it's sort of a little bit like a rare burger or something. It always tastes a little bit chemically and weird to me. I'm never into like when it tries too hard. hard. So like a rib bone, I don't, I mean, even when you say like biting the, like working the thing off the bone, I don't, yeah, it doesn't appeal to me really. It also like to me, it seems like having had, you know, I ate vegetarian for a year and I've had other stretches of vegetarianism. I try to minimize my meat consumption these days, but I will eat it. But having other guests in the

podcast who are vegetarian or vegan, it seems like how long they've been away from meat, to correlate with whether they like the impossible or the beyond of the world. Like how long have you not been eating meat? Maybe like, was I eating meat when we met? Yes. I was. Okay. So maybe like six years?

Yeah, something like that. It's been a good stretch. So maybe there's just been like enough of a period where like I'm just not craving that specifically anymore. You see, I've been not eating beef or pork or chicken for a long time. Yeah. And I'd go to town on some ribs still. Wow.

I think. I think. I mean, I remember that I was like a. little carnivore. I loved chicken wings and I loved ribs when I was younger. Kids love me. It's very true. They can't get enough. It's so fun. It's like a Flintstones thing. You have the bone poking on the other side. What's not to love?

Yeah. But I don't know if it would weird me out to like go back to eating that, but I miss the taste of it sometimes. What do you cook at home to accommodate both of your diets? Like what are your kind of your go-to meals? More, loves a chili. Okay. He's a chili man. I'm a chili man.

Yeah, what's the basis? Veggie. You know, it's pretty simple. like three beans, tomatoes, carrots, corn, occasionally potato in there, bell pepper, stuff like that. This last one I tried a little bit of cocoa powder because that was like a little internet secret for chili. It's not too bad. And just chili powder and your average, you know, cumin.

Well, do you guys know what bitch and sauces? Have you had bitch and sauce? I have had bitch and sauce, yeah. We're big fans of bitch and sauce, which is vegan. It's too, I believe. Yeah. It's pretty great. Yeah.

It's vegan. I think it's almond. Yeah. And we put that in the chili that taste. It's delicious. I did a crazy thing last night I make popcorn, I'm going to say four nights a week. I make a wild

He loves popcorn. That is a lot of popcorn. You're sitting on the couch with a popcorn skeptic. I'm a bit of a popcorn skeptic. Natalie loves popcorn. She makes popcorn at home. I have no problem with it. Yeah, yeah. Each they're on. I'm just saying, like, me personally, I'm not as into pop. I mean, some things taste weird to people. Yeah. So you'll hate this. And this is pretty fucking wild. And this,

this shows how much we, A, how, like, sort of adventurous we're willing to get in the kitchen I would say, and also just how much we love bitch and sauce. I melted together butter and bitch and sauce and poured it on the popcorn. Wow. Wow. And it was pretty great. It was delicious. Yeah. It tasted really good. I mean, that sounds

good. It was good. Basically buffalo popcorn is what you're making. Pretty much what it was. Yep. And I do think popcorn's like a slightly, it's a buttery, it's a butter delivery system but it's better than just that. Yeah. It's how I describe it. Yep. I make, I got I got a popcorn popper

maybe like I don't know when it was a few years ago and I haven't really looked back I think I really like the popcorn popper and then I'll use a Mitch is picturing a bubble mower I think it's fun as hell keeps me amused for hours and he's picturing poor McRibsauce in there I have a method to my

well I get this you know see whatever there's some there's nicer seeds once you get into the world of popcorn there's nicer seeds It's like the quilber. There's a lot of different seeds. Yeah, yeah. The quillvers. Pain quill.

But there's a lot you can do, but then the toppings I'll do melted butter. And then also I will do the salt. Muldoon. Muldoon is a character for Jurassic Park. Maldon. Maldon. Maldon. Flaky.

Yes. Maldin salts on top of the melted butter and malden. That is the, that's, and it just takes. like a movie theater popcorn it's fantastic so good that's and we used was it called the butter well something that we've made at home is a sog paneer oh yeah sure and then we had leftover ghee and more use that and his popcorn wow oh that makes it taste like uh movie of style popcorn popcorn always hurts my stomach i love it it will always hurt my stomach guaranteed really yeah yeah is it any amount or is it just like you i think it's like you know an unhealthy amount that i would eat at

movie theater but that it's like well there always will be some bathroom uh there'll be a little bathroom breakdown after sure so the guy who just shrugged expired this is so up your alley i can't believe you are judging me for this i think you wanted me to do it oh you absolutely did she's like do you want me to get you a straw she said i think she wants some millie would you like to try the rib sauce. No, I don't want to do it. Yeah, right. Let's make Amelia beer bong it.

Wait, like, what are you just talking like you're like at the movies since we're talking popcorn? Like, what are your go-to movies next? Is it just popcorn? Anything else there? I always get a big soda. I was sad at, not to bring up Napa Boys premiere again, but I couldn't get a

popcorn. And I was very sad. I wanted a popcorn and a big soda. I did the next night. I got a, and then I had a. a bathroom breakdown afterwards. But, but, like, I want, you know this, Wags. Yeah.

The classic for me is a big butter of popcorn and a classic Coca-Cola. When I saw RR in the theater and it was sold out, it was a fucking amazing experience. I'm so happy. That must have been so fun to watch in a theater. It was so fun. It was so hype. Kind of crazy because also that's a rating for, you know. It's true.

Yes. Yeah, people say triple X, but triple R is something you get to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, it was one of those things where it was just like, and that movie's so. so fucking long and like we just kind of just got there in time

and the concessions line was forever and so I like did like a fucking three hour movie dry it was such a bummer that sucks and that movie demands

like pop I know I don't in the air something yeah yeah yeah do you see the prequel to triple R PG PG PG PG

PG that's the rating for your mini me movie the mini me so I Look, I think it was maybe either Maxi, me. There was a thing, I can't believe you've forgotten about it.

It was a big moment for me. I thought it was very excited about it. You also haven't remembered it. I mean, I can't remember it either. I thought that he, I thought you guys would remember it. It's like one of those monk sand paintings. You know what I mean? Like it was a beautiful thing that you made and then it just had to disappear.

Embrace impermanence. Yeah. Yes, yeah. Yeah. If it actually existed to be too beautiful for this world. That's, look, our, our, I have looked, this too much, but our Do's court is on it. They will figure it out. Okay, great.

Or our listener will figure it out. But also, someone, I didn't get to go to any movies. Someone told me to go see Fuck My Son, which was another movie up there. Whoever told me to see that, I forget who you are, because they knew the director. But I didn't get to see any other movies, and I only, I don't, I think I wanted to try so much stuff

and what? I'm not, I can't say it. Say it. I said a joke earlier, I couldn't say, and I didn't say it. I think your mom recommended. I think that is the premise of the movie. It's like, I'm trying to get someone to fuck or something. I think that that's what the premise is. Oh, that's great.

Whoever told me that they were friends with the director and go see it, tell me. But I didn't get a lot, because I flew, I went on a red eye from, because I went on a red eye and I flew to Toronto. Yeah. And so the only new food I had there was pizzeria, a bad Giali with a handman and Paul Ross. You get a quick turnaround because of work, you didn't get to take full advantage of the Tiff experience. Yeah. But you didn't see the Apple Boys. I saw it twice.

That's great. And on the second screen. I had a cherry coke and a popcorn with butter layered butter because at Cineplex they'll layer the that's the Canadian thing they do charge you for butter there which is kind of crazy. Oh really? Yeah yeah yeah

they charge you for butter but they spend the time to layer it but then they do layer and they'll like you want layered butter and they'll layer the butter but then here's the other thing I want to get my soda and I wonder what you guys are thinking of this no ice I gotta go that's yeah that's it's more I Not here

You know what You're right Not here in the U.S. That shit would never fly, baby Yes The Burr-Tarmuset at USA Arner Palmer's Dick Don't clip that out

And like use it for things You know? I don't mean it Hostile Patriot Ashley Burns Adjust your little mic Windscreen there Thank you sir There we go

Yeah I love ice Sorry if that made you uncomfortable No I It's my fetish We're going to clip you saying U.S.A.A. and you saying I love ice. The setup. This whole thing has been a set up. It's a setup. Yeah. Catch us next month at a, what's the place in Austin called?

Oh, yeah, the mothership. Yeah, the mother. Doe Boys Live at the Mother's Ship. Can you imagine it wise? No one would be upset about that. They'd love it. Our fans would love it. Create fit all around. Wait, you were, like, I teach you. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, teed you up but we but I was talking about my no ice experience you're talking about your no ice

experience but like like you you just asked for a soda and they gave you no ice by default no ice here in the state's a great thing no ice up in Canada horrible thing I had no ice for my drink was there a ice receptacle that you could there was and then I said to the I said to a guy working there was like hey I was like is there any ice the the machine is out and then he kind of like I mean look he was a guy who was working at Cineplex during TIF and I think it was annoying but he was like, yeah, man, we get like 10,000 people a day. That was his response. I was like, Jesus Christ, just asked that there was more fucking ice.

And so I went over to, and very nicely asked if there was more ice. There was like a little Starbucks. And I was like, hey, can I just get some ice? And they put some ice in there, so I was good to go. Oh, there you know. So Starbucks, Starbucks helped me out, Lags in the end there. How about that? But how can, a great company.

Yes. Here's the Starbucks. I hate little independent chains. Ashley Moore I teed you up but I didn't give you a chance to answer what are your movie snacks? I love buttered popcorn

and I worked at movie theaters and never got sick of it and I'm telling you ate it every night and when I was living in Chicago too I needed the hot dog at the end of the night if there was one left over we got to eat it so I was just praying somebody didn't buy this $6 hot dog

because I didn't have dinner that's same experience for me at that AMC that I worked at that point I think it was a general cinema but if there was a hot dog you could have a hot dog if they were left over yep and it was this was the general cinema was the uh yeah yeah yeah it's in chat

they just showed his commercials yeah yeah yeah that's all they that's kind of that's almost like a mini and maxi me there those are two ends of the spectrum it's the same principle it is that's true I gotta figure this out Ashley what do you what do you like to munch on at the movies I love popcorn with chocolate like in the same bite Oh, okay.

I didn't even know that, honey. Yeah. Any particular chocolate? I'll probably, I'll do, I'm not really very picky. I used to do when I was a kid I would do flips. Okay, sure. Flips and popcorn. Yeah, yeah.

I just really like all those things in one bite, like a salty sweet for a snack. And she enjoys a darker chocolate. I do enjoy a darker chocolate. That's true, honey. Nope. Wow. He knows my preferences. That's love.

I always liked, I like flips. I like the act of a flip, and I also like the food flip. I'm a huge flipaholic. You're a flippaholic. Wu Tang could do a backflip. I told you that before. He used to be able to just do a standing backflip. Nelly did gymnastics.

Could you do a flip? Yeah, I mean, she could do all that shit. I mean, back in the day. Wu was like, as he got older, you saw like his head getting closer to the ground. Yeah, he was scarier and scarier. But who's Wuang? Wuang is my buddy from Quincy Mass.

Adam Wu. Great guy. Yeah. And he could do a backflip. And then I'd always pretend to be about to do one before. And I'd not do anything close to that. Apparently my dad used to be able to do the run-up wall and do a backflip. That's cool as hell.

Yeah, which is the only reason I respect him. That's a make them laugh. Yeah, yeah. That's a, that's from, that's in make them laugh, right? That's right. Oh, is it? Yeah, singing in the rain. Yeah.

Oh, right, yeah. Nice. And done by Joseph Gordon Levitt on Saturday Night Live in an opening monologue. That's also true. Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's where I know it from. I couldn't, I never was able to, I, like, I eventually was able to do a flip in a pool at one point, but it took a very long time to do it, and I still was not very good at him.

You mean off the diving board, or you mean? You mean like, oh, off the diving board, not off the side of the, of the thing. I was never good with any of that. Or diving, really. I could swim. Could you do a flip? Were you a flip guy? No, it was not a flip guy at all.

Yeah, yeah. I know, I didn't assume so. Flip? Can I, can I take a guess? Yeah, go ahead. I bet a burp was a little flip guy? I think I could do, yeah, I think I could do a flip. Yeah, although we, and my friend.

Kick flip. Yeah, I could do kick flips. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, shit. Well, that was the thing. So my friend Mike's house, we, in high school, he had an above ground pool because we were all white trash and we would jump off the roof

into the pool and everybody skateboarded off the roof or the pool and the really truly insane of us would do front flips off the roof I never did that. Yeah, really crazy. I was with a, this was like when I was like 12 or 13, I was in middle school and we're at my one of my friends' house and she had a pool in the backyard and like was the the, you know, like there's part of the house you could jump

off of into the pool and so we were all doing that. And then when it was was my turn. I came so close to the edge that the judgment of the other children was like, we need to stop. Weiger almost just got fucking killed. Man, we're a lot of like in many ways. Even when I was a skinny boy, I wasn't very nimble. I was, I could never, I could never really get that down. I could never, I was never a flip kid. But I was afraid to like I would, I wouldn't

skate off the roof. That was the thing. And I was really angry with myself because I couldn't, I was too scared. I did what you did. Yeah, basically, yeah. I mean, if you look at my head, just one wrong turn and my neck is broken. It's too big. Yeah. It's just going to happen at some point, Wikes. Speaking of wrong turns, we may cut it this out.

The girl whose house we were doing this at later was associated with a possibly apocryphal story that gave her the nickname Q-tip, which is that she was blowing a guy and then her mom come in and went, what? and then he busted in her ear. I don't think that's true, but it was a great story that was widely circulated. That's such a good high school story. Yeah, that's... What a true nightmare that is, if that's real.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That sequence of events. He's telling that nickname in therapy. Yeah. Is that how Q-tip the singer got his name as well? And same with MC came in my ear. he's my favorite rapper yeah he's pretty good

yeah red conscious well okay high school nicknames it's just not a good it's not gonna be good no like a lot of them are not gonna be are not gonna be great

yeah yeah there's nothing more vicious and insecure than 10th grade boys yes yeah yeah but I mean all yours are just still associated with your entire group of friends yeah we still don't of those are bad I guess those are all pretty good Wu Tang chankton frail bot

Romandie There's one or two I've never told you because they can't be sad. Shieldsie, Chewy, who am I forgetting? Pooh. Pooh. A little ball friends. We're done college friends. Breslin.

Breslin is just his last name. Micas. Micas. Oh, Micas, of course. Micas and Scoop. Yeah, Micas and Scoop. How could I forget? Romani's his last name, right?

Yeah, Romani's his last name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot that are just the last names, of course. And they sound insane because they're just weird, a talent. or Irish last names. You said you had a story to start with, and you said you didn't know if you could tell it or not. Yeah, I haven't.

It's not going to happen? Oh, I mean, I could. I was just like, I haven't told it before. But I, like, I was at a bar on this past Sunday night. I just, like, Natalie fell asleep early, and I hadn't had dinner. So I was like, I'll just walk to this bar that's nearby and have a, you know, have a burger and exactly one beer. And this blackout drunk guy.

I'm just watching Sunday night football. myself. The bar is mostly... Hey, I like that. This blackout drunk guy. Raider Nation over here. That's right. Did you watch a Raiders game? No, it was like Falcons.

I think the Raiders were on TV. I think they were on Monday night football. I was watching Sunday night football. Okay, all right, all right. Fine, fine. The specifics of the game aren't important. If it was Falcons, Ravens, maybe, I don't remember. Yes.

Anyway, I'm at the bar. I'm by myself. I'm just sitting there. I'm just, you know, watching the TV. This blackout drunk guy wearing a shirt that says zero fucks given and cut off jorts comes and sits next to me yeah and he's and he goes are you mad

are you mad and I'm like what like why is that because you're beautiful you're beautiful but it's going to be three more years and so I like I have no idea what this means I was trying to reverse engineer it later. He was like maybe maybe meant three more years of Trump is the only thing I could think of.

But by the way, this story ends with Wager's new nickname Q-tip. It was one of those things where it was like, it was a like, you know, a very, a guy was being very flattering, you know, like, oh, you're like, you're hot. You know, you're hot. You know, like, I'm kind of enjoying being gassed up a little bit. But a certain boy was like, all right, buddy, that's enough. But he, like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was. was one of those things where it was just like that level of drunk where you're kind of at word salad point where I'm just like because I love talking to strangers in general and now I'm just trying to divine what could possibly he be his meaning here so at one point he's like how long have you lived in Denver and I just go where you think we are I know where you are but you're from Denver oh my god I'm not why because I saw a super drunk guy up in Toronto and he was like a was he from Denver he was like no he was either

Irish or English I couldn't tell which I should know that's in a you know they're butt heads a lot yeah yeah but he's like oh come with me come come come come come on and I was like I have no idea where we're going they brought me to the restaurant I was like and he just kept telling me to come come with him yeah come on come with me and I was like where we were going I didn't know where he was leading

me off and so I finally was just like I got to go I didn't I didn't know where we were going to end up so I'll end of the rainbow he was a little fucking leopard guy I was going to share this with me It was during the Canello fight So I think that he was just shit-faced Yeah, yeah, yeah

It was two drunkards we saw this weekend Yeah, a lot of fun If it's not threatening, it's usually a hoot I just, I'm always like What is your tomorrow going to be? Yeah, yeah This guy is just, I don't think that guy will Probably the same or worse

Yes, yes, yes Completely hungover teaching third grade Still wearing the zero fucksgiving They're cut off even higher It reminds me I was that guy for several periods of my life And one time my four-person improv team Was doing an improv show in Chicago at the playground

And I was beyond the capacity for speech drunk I showed up They were like, you can't, they just put me in the audience During the middle of the show I stood up like a zombie and walked on stage And then they had to like Improvise around me They pretended like there was like a tree and stuff

Wow Yeah Dang So that's why I don't drink anymore Yeah Hell yeah Probably the right move I think the right move for everybody

Yeah, it's a poisonous thing There's a Quincy guy who was named I want to say who woke up and then Looked at a picture on a shelf and was like I'm not in my house and it was in somebody else's house Oh my god There's you know there's a there's moments like that That are making it clear like it's time to move on

That's what happened to Robert Downey Jr., which That is the craziest person to find in your teenage son's bedroom Which I think is what happened Really? Oh my God Yeah You know, it's probably true. Like, you drinking that expired McRib juice was probably less bad for you than drinking a beer.

A hundred percent. For sure. Yeah. You see me later at the bar next door. Go ahead, hey, follow me. You're passing out shots of McRibs off. Oh, he's going in for seconds. Oh, he's going around too.

The group chat later, Mitch is like, I haven't been able to get off the toilet. Oh, baby. He's taking birth. audio listeners, you have having more chugs of the McRib sauce. Emma, Amelia, what, do you ever have a sample of McRib back there, the dais? Oh, thanks. I've had one McRib ever, and it was at a Doe Boys record when I first started working for Doe Boys because I don't know if you were reviewing the McRib or doing something else,

but Mitch found out I had never had a McRib and was like, you got to try one, so you got me one. I don't like that impression of me. Hey, hey, try one. Should I actually pass it down? do you guys want the group? I mean, I'll check the, how, what did you think of the McRib? I did not like it. For the same thing, Wigar was talking about the, like, the, like, impressions on it and the texture where it was like, there were bumps in it where they, like, it was supposed to be bones. But then it's also a sandwich. So it's like, but I would never put ribs with the bone in on a bun and then eat it anyway. I don't love the McRibbe either, to be clear. Yeah. No, I don't. I don't, I don't think, I think you all had them that day and we were all like, this sucks. Yeah. You should take just a small swig. we can be Swig Brothers

Swig Brothers Swig Brothers Do boys Swig brothers I'll tell you it's not bad It's not bad It has molasses in it Which I was surprised by

It does It does taste a little old That was sent to us last Christmas It's September Get over there and take a swig of it You know you want to I've never had McRibbsaws before Do you want it?

That's our Jones Town it's a it's like a more putrid barbecue sauce it's got a rib sauce yeah I think so I mean I like barbecue sauce Is it not the same as their barbecue sauce? I don't think it is it's a little smokier No it's a distinct sauce Here Emily take a sip see if it's different

You don't No one has to take a sip Actually I disagree if she doesn't take a sip She's fired Oh wow No one that's not true you don't have to take a sauce I'll take a little sip Sir I guess you're a real good cop

I can smell it a thing here. Smells like McDonald's over here now. I'm doing this of my own accord. Wow. We got her on Mike. I'll send that to love later. Oh, you took a big chunk in there.

Oh, you did. You guys did it too. A big chunk and sipped. This is disgusting. Big old chunk of. Yeah. I have to go. You have to go?

Oh, my God. She left the room. She went to the bathroom. She did for real. the joke I made 20 minutes ago she had to leave. Oh man I hope she doesn't barf yeah. This doesn't but you know what? It smells like McDonald's over here

here's the plus side she saved her job and she's officially a doughboy brother legal. She is yeah yeah I don't think it was that bad I didn't think it was that bad I just I'm not crazy about McRib sauce in general it tastes a little sciencey to me yeah there's something like gelatinous about

McRibbs of my memory serves like just a weird actual beef itself but this buns were you too. Did you barf? Yeah the bun is weird She ran to the kitchen Do you can I put the lid on this? Yeah Lid that bad boy Also we can open up the door now right because no one is here anymore Actually we do open I didn't barf you didn't bar you didn't bar you didn't bar for okay

I spit it out Rinse my mouth and I'm eating chocolate What the hell? I'm yeah you're also wearing jorts were you the blackout Denver guy Those shorts are cool You also open up that door too Hey, buddy, everybody knows their things they can do to reduce monthly costs and improve their finances. But who has time to go through all of their expenses and decide what to trim?

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doughboys. That's hungry root.com slash doboys code doughboys to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Hungryroot.com slash doughboys code doughboys. Wow. Today we are talking about plant power fast food, which was founded in 2016, the Ocean Beach neighborhood of San Diego. It is a vegan fast casual concept co-founded by Mitch Wallace, Jeffrey Harris, and Zach Fuga.

It has eight locations in California, one in Vegas. I'd never been here before. In fact, this place was not on my radar. Mitch, I assume the same is true for you. Yes, you assumed correctly. That was a vegan fast food place was not. I mean, the fast food part of it, sure, but I did not. There's a lot of these popping up.

Here's the thing is that so many of them come and go quickly, even Honeybee, which we want to. Yeah. Which, again, we liked. We had a good time as Honeybee. I think that the one that has stuck around, which we talked about, I think, we at least talked about it, is, uh, Monty's Goodberg.

Monty's good, right. Which is Monty's, for what they're trying to do, Monty's is very good. I think Montes is pretty impressive. Mr. Charlie's also seems to have had some staying power. Yeah, we didn't like it though, did we? Yeah, I mean, it also is like so, so much, so trying to do specifically McDonald's, which is its own sort of thing.

But it seems illegal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yeah. No, and also, I mean, this brings us to the McRib and a thing we were talking about is fake bones. Right. How do you get fake bones? which would be good for human beings

and I don't know if they can make bones or they've ever tried to make bones but chicken wings wise you got chicken wings from this place today and it's just you can never you can never recreate that it's like impossible to do it with and I've never seen it done well

at any vegan place so there's like some stuff that I'm like you don't even need to attempt that like just have Buffalo chicken nuggets or so or you know what I mean like there's no need to and that's kind of what they were were buffalo chicken tenders. But there's a lot of things that I think you can do great with vegan food and things you can't do with great with vegan foods.

And I saw that again today. There was a lot of stuff that I thought that they did well and some stuff that they did not do well. Well, this is where I kind of want to start the conversation, which is just more general than just plant power. Because this is a place you suggested to us. But like I'm, like, do you have a go-to among these sorts of places? Are these the kind of places you frequent? Because Honeybee was another one You brought to us

Yeah I think what's the name of the place Where I get the hot dog honey Oh America's Karen's America Vegan it's got a weird name Julie goes green That's what it is

Julie goes green okay Yeah yeah And that's just a one location place Yes that's not a chain But like in terms Like we go to Montes I would say Like a fair amount Yeah probably

Yeah that's probably the go-to Yeah I made up a restaurant That Weiger thought was real for years called Caroline's carrots We've talked about it on the podcast Caroline's carrots has meat and veggies options Yeah yeah it's got good veggie options

And good meat options That's what I would always say Because people were like where should I go I'd be like Caroline's carrots And then there was a couple of us that knew that it was fake But I would always suggest Caroline's carrots I thought it was real And then there was like people who were like

Went to Caroline's carrots tonight It was great we were just lying into why Because I guess mostly You're the only fucking idiot Who didn't know Caroline's carrots wasn't real I thought what was funny about it was that every time you brought up Caroline's carrots, you said it has good meat and veggie options.

I mean, yes. And so I was like, oh, okay, the joke is Mitch saying that they has good meat and veggie options. Not that it's a made-up place. It's a different level to it. But I mean, here's the thing is that a lot of vegan places do sound, the place you just said, what is it called? Julie Goes Green.

Julie Goes Green sounds fake. It sounds like Caroline's it sounds like Caroline's carrots. That bit is very similar to a prank that my friend was pulling on me for a while. He lived in Orange County and I would go and visit some friends down there and every time I go down there they'd be like oh wait there's this Italian place we like we know the owner like we're like family there like you gotta come with us at some point and I'd be like well guys you should take me like take it and they kept

bringing it up and then never taking me and then he moved to New York or whatever at some point I was like what was that place that Ryan was always talking about they're like it's Olive Garden we're gonna like take you to Olive Garden at some point like we get free food like they give us all this free food and I was like this this place sounds great why don't you take me I will I will say if we're talking about, like, chain restaurants beyond the, the, the ones that are specifically plant-based, which is what plant power is, a place like Olive Garden, I feel like you can do okay as a vegetarian or vegan. Like, just like, like, there's certain almost like, you know, genres of food, like Italian food. I feel like you're generally in good shape. Indian food you already mentioned with the, you know, like it was certainly like, um, uh, Mexican food, I think you can usually do all right with avoiding meat options at least, although some, that's a place where they run into.

often you'll get like hey it's like grilled cactus cacti or whatever yeah just depending how stringent you are because sometimes it'll be like the beans are made with lard or something like that sure sure sure sure but yeah a lot of places i feel like have like a like at least a vegetarian black beans these days totally and to the point that some stuff like i actually like i prefer indian food without meat i mean obviously i prefer but even if i was a meat eater sure there's some cultures that i feel like are inherently vegetarian and they just do a better job uh sans meat you know yeah totally yeah a lot of like you know curries and stuff like that like you don't really need a piece of meat in there for it to work yeah it's just rice and the sauce you're good to go or tofu or whatever

yeah but i'll say this can i can i start talking about some food here of course um you got a california burrito today that's right and i actually did not that was there was one thing and i now there's one item that i think that vegan food can do well and i'm going to talk about in a minute but i did not think they would do the California burrito well. And it was my second favorite item of the entire night. I thought it was great. It was really good. I mean, like, the carneasada just was like very, like, it was

spicy and it doesn't taste like carneasada, but like all of that together, it worked pretty well, I thought. What did you think was? Let me read the description. It's a, it's a plant-based carneasada, melted cheddar cheese, crispy fries, handmade guacamole, pico de sour cream wrapped in a warm flour tortilla served with a side of

salsa verde. A little too much going on, I thought. Perhaps a little unga- But what you can't hear from my read is that there are quotes around carneasada cheese and sour cream to denote that these are all vegan products. I thought it was a pretty impressive simulacrum. I was like, oh, this has all the textures and flavors. You can tell it's not meat, but still, it's like there's like to the Ungapachka point, it has so much going on that like its absence is not really a huge deal. I don't know. I thought this was a pretty damn good a burrito.

I was kind of impressed by it. I was impressed, too. I did not think it was going to be good, and it was pretty good. Who was the quotes guy? Was that George W. Bush? I mean, sorry, George H.W. Bush. Yeah, I feel like he'd do the quotes.

Didn't he do the quotes? But was that also just Dana Carvey doing, adding that to an impression. Dr. Evil. Dr. Evil does do that, yeah. Fuck, you're right. Where is it? It's Dr. Evil. Yeah.

Show us the script. Dr. Dr. Evil does do quotes, but I think George H. H. W. Bush played by, Dana Carvey was like wouldn't be proof didn't he do that? Yeah I think he'd do And too Farley had that week and up Oh right there's a lot of quotes going on Yeah yeah

There was like I have a weight problem Yeah and then he yeah whatever I was just gonna tell why that old sketch is funny You're doing a damn good job of it That's not entertainment at all I do think that's the thing with vegan food Is that it has there have to be a lot of components Sure like I think it's rare

That like you can just have a couple things in a vegan meal and it works. I think that is maybe the part of it that is difficult when you're like making it at home or whatever. I think that's right. Yeah, that's why the chili is great. And again, like, well, and we'll talk about the big Zach. I guess we'll get, well, I'm going to just tell you

what I was just about to, that was the thing I was holding for a minute. Yeah, go nuts. I think the Big Mac, for whatever reason, really works. I've tried now a couple of vegan Big Macs, and it kind of works. This one is, they work. I mean, you mean generally. Generally, I think the thing with the Big Mac is like, it's a lot of bread and a Big Mac. Sure.

And the patties aren't crazy huge. Like, you're not getting like a huge. I love a Big Mac and I prefer it over a vegan Big Mac, but the Big Zach was pretty damn good and pretty close. And I'm like, oh, like, the vegan equivalent is it works for whatever reason with the Big Mac. And I think it's because of all these components. Like, there's a lot of bread in there. There's the cheese. There's the sauce.

There's the onions. and there's the lettuce and it just is like a lot of different components and it makes it kind of taste. It's a good simulacrum. Yes. Two beefy patties

topped with melted American cheese. That's what actually when I asked her to marry me. She goes, yeah, I'll marry you. She wouldn't do it without the quotes. Lettuce onions, Big Zach sauce, which is like the Mac sauce, obviously.

Which is kind of gross. Name. Big Zach? Yeah, Big Zach sauce. Yeah, it sounds like a guy. Yeah. It sounds like a guy's... Yeah, it sounds like a guy's...

Yeah, it sounds like a guy's sauce. You guys made a jaculate, right? Yeah, I guess calm. It's a cute tip sauce. This guy's calm. Yeah, it sounds a little nasty, but I... Yeah. I was very happy with the Big Zach.

I thought it was well done. Well, that's why people think I'm nuts. I'll go to McDonald's and get it without... I'll get Big Mac without meat, but it's like... I don't think that's nuts. You're exactly right, that the sauce and the sauce and the cheese. and the bread do so much of the heavy lifting. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, totally. Yep. I did have a bite of that and Mitch you shared a bite with me or you were kind of do so. And I thought that was delightful. I felt not as enthralled by my patty melt. This is a limited time item that has plant-based patties with two slices of melted American cheese, caramelized onions and secret sauce between two buttered

slice of Texas toast. Too much toast. Too much toast. Too much toast. Yeah. Too much toast It was just like it was so bread dominant That the patties

I didn't even realize There were two of them Until reading this description Were so buried And the other thing There was like a ton of onions Which I like I like a caramelized onions

But that some bitch Was just slip sliding all over the place I couldn't keep it I couldn't keep it in my fucking hands Yeah you get a sloppy slide in Sammy Yeah It was a sloppy slide in Sammy Bread Dom patty sub

It was a little too Right yeah One second Bread Dom patty Except, okay, I'm there was, it was, it was, it was, it was a little, Patty's wearing a dog collar. And the bread is just, relax. When you did drink, what was your, like, did you have a go-to?

What was your drink of choice? Whiskey, I went through a crown royal phase, which I thought was very sophisticated of me at the time. Yeah, sure. I think I knew you when you still were having drinks, I believe, right? Maybe. Well, I got sober in 2008. Oh, no, so I did not know it.

Oh. Yeah, so I've been sober. It's a tight, it's a tight, yeah. Yeah. I was probably still coming out of a, uh, yeah. coming out of a frightening alcoholic phase when I bet you. So maybe there was still some residual weirdness.

Didn't you used to, because you had that, like, law job and didn't you used to have, like, champagne and something at lunch? Well, I used to get beers at lunch, but then I almost, I came on here, and I don't know if this is what you're talking about, but I almost relapsed at the Whole Foods in Beverly Hills, because I was working there, and I had, like, I had to wear a

hat, and I was, that makes, whatever, that's not why I almost relapsed. But I was giving out samples of alcohol-free champagne is this what you're talking about i don't know i was so furious i hated all these like rich people and i i drank all of the all of the shale the alcohol-free champagne or whatever and then i called my uh uh person who helps me stay sober and he was like yeah you're going to relapse we should probably get on that wow good heads up by him though that's great i know i was

really glad i called him yeah yeah yeah for some reason i thought that like during your law job that you hated you would just like get very expensive meals and drink champagne at lunch which I thought was a funny funny move. Did I maybe? I just remember going to the House of Blues and having a steak salad

and like four Budweiser's at lunch. That's what I remember. In Chicago, the House of Blues? Yep. Wow. All I knew about you always was that you were very funny. That is the only thing I knew

of Mort from the moment I met you. That is the truth. Thanks, Mike Mitchell. That's the truth. Oh, gosh. A very funny man always. But I did not, I didn't realize that,

but you probably were sober at the time, which is good. I feel like there's so many people who get sober and then they're like I can't party or hang out or whatever in the comedy scene I feel like it's like a hard thing to do to balance but I never even I didn't even realize that

till recently honestly about you so yeah yeah it's not a big deal yeah I like I do shows and bars and stuff it's no big deal yeah yeah I just drink 47 of these a week Key lime LeCroy do a favorite LaCroix variety I've weirdly been into the lemoncellas

lately which I think is polarizing Yeah, I hate those. Will you do an N.A. beer ever or are you like just to stay, it's good to stay away from it. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to pretend. I don't want to pretend a ton of it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to pretend like I'm drinking. I'll do an N.A. beer pretty regularly.

But like, even those have like 0.5% alcohol, you know, so like, you know, it depends on how it's stringent you're being. But, like, I do actually, any beer as someone who did drink beer, and still does an occasion, they, like, The N.A. Brewing has gotten so much better. It's like mock tales how there's, like, so much more sophisticated. And then as a result is now the same cost as the one with fucking alcohol, which also sucks. But, like, it is really nice that you can get just like a bunch of different. Oh, this is a nice AZIPA. Yeah.

Oh, there's a nice N.A, you know, the kind of Mexican-style servesa. That's a good segue-wise, because I was one for a very long time, vegan food. And I feel like this place is, is vegan food still in that expensive zone? I feel like everything's so expensive. Yeah, well, that's also true. That I'm like, I always win, and the funny thing about not drinking now, too, is like, if I stay sober forever, the drinks will always be like, yeah, a cocktail will always be $4 in my mind. Now they're $19 or whatever, you know. Depending on where you go, yeah.

Yeah, totally. So, but I think it is, I think they've caught up with, I think it's about similar to maybe a few dollars more than an average. Sure, yeah. Yeah. I feel like it was probably comparable to, like, getting something from Chipotle. Am I crazy? Getting a burger from this place? Yeah, I think so.

It's probably close. I do think for a minute, vegan, like a vegan or when we would go to these places, they'd be a little more expensive. But so many of them were catering, it is like, you know, it's sometimes they're fancier places. Yeah, right. Yeah. But this was part of the issue when, like, for instance, I'm thinking of my beloved Adele Taco, but they had the Beyond Tacos, which I was loving.

I was getting the Beyond Tacos all the time. And those were more expensive. Beyond tacos were like $1.50 more apiece than the ones would meet. And I was like, that's absurd for that to be that much of a premium. And also it just kind of speaks to like how much the. you know, like meat is just so, like, subsidized and just, like, so encouraged and so, you know, poorly regulated, they're able to do as cheaply as and humanely as possible. And it just, it fucking sucks that there's just, like, the market is flooded.

Like, like, every time these sort of plant-based proteins come out, the result is that Americans eat more meat because it just gets cheaper. Right. Anyway, but, but it is like, I do like that a place like this exists. And I do like that they're taking the swing. And I wish there was. more things like The Impossible Whopper, which is, thankfully, a fixture of the Burger King menu where you could go to these mainstream chains and get the, like, just a plant-based version of what they have there. You know what I mean?

That would be really great. Yeah, yeah. But some of these places, like, just, they experimented with that and then it either didn't sell well or whatever, or they just, like, felt like the market rejected it and they, they peeled it back. Or it was like, like, I guess woke was part of it, too. You have that whole fucking bullshit. I hate woke. That's the whole problem, Mitch, is that it ultimately was woke and that's hard to argue with. Yeah, right.

He's like, ah, fuck, it is woke. And I don't like, I don't care for that at all. No, me, I don't, no, that's the double-stance. Well, I even asked the Carl's Jr. kid, because they had one for all. The kid, I don't know, whatever, he was like, anyone under 30 is a child to me. Sure. But, yeah, and he was like, he's like, they sold really well because they don't have the veggie. Yeah, yeah, they got rid of there.

And he's like, I think they're right. I think they're just more expensive. Like, they consider it unscended. sustainable because meat is four cents a pound or whatever. Yes. I think it's yeah as you're saying it's like it's so subsidized and yeah it just seems like the infrastructure is there to make meat really cheaply and it's not there

to make plant-based food really cheap. And we like the cruelty. We're like I want to hear the cow shriek while it's children watch it makes it taste better. It is a hard thing to not it is a it's it's hard to when you think about things like that

and I said this I will never order veal or I've kind of moved away from Cephalopods, why, it's like, yeah, I don't I'm curious as as fish eaters, like, like, cephalopods is still a thing, I feel weird about eating squids and octopi just because I'm like, I don't know, these seem like

the higher order creatures that we don't fully understand, but I have no idea what you're, as Pescatarians, I'm not sure what your stance is. We try to stay away from them too for the same reason. Yeah, but it also is hypocritical of me because it's not like, I'm like, well, fish deserve to suffer. That's, you know,

I still believe they feel some version of pain, right? Yeah, so I'm not trying to be judgmental. No, I mean, like, I try to be judgey either. It's like, it's like, you know, we're all, we're all doing what we can, except for the people who are willfully malicious, which I guess is now most of us.

But we're all trying their best, and we all have our own lines that we draw, and to stay alive, you have to eat things that are freshly dead. I mean, that's just how the fucking world works. I try to stay away from that stuff, and I went to dinner the other day. I won't say who it was,

but someone we've had on the show, ordered octopus and a veal tongue as the two appetizers I was like fucking Jesus Bring me a dolphin head What's one where they fatten up the geese Or the ducks?

Oh yes foie gras Which was kind of I have fatty liver Which is basically I'm foie grasing myself That's what's happening basically I'm looking at you seeing My eyes turn into dollar signs

I saw a video once of someone being like, you just have, like, you know, people say, like, I couldn't live without X. They're like, great, don't live without that. Like, you're eating that thing. It's not, you don't have to, like, that's not, you don't have to, like, I want to meet the people who say, I couldn't live without veal tongue. Who are those people?

It's the world's brightest billionaire we remember. We need gout. I have to have gout. The thing that all, that I was like, as, as, you know, someone who's not, like, shy about eating fish and that's usually what I'll opt for these days. I am like I like my boy eating some meat The thing you have to

Get it son The thing you have to take in like I That always fucks me up about that Is that just like From what I from everything that I've read It that is like that that practice is really destructive Towards the ecosystem Like just like like all the like all the trawling

All the long line fishing Uh so much of the commercial you know like fish farming Or trolling what will kill us first Mitch Great question. Beautiful, Mike. But I'm just like, regardless of what's happening to the animals, it's just like, oh, well, I guess this is also fucking up the ocean. I don't know what you're supposed to do.

I know. It's the hard thing, right? There's no ethical way to do anything anymore. But. Let's talk onion rings, you guys. Well, let's talk onion rings. But I do, actually, I do want to say that the onion rings from here were incredible. They were fucking great.

They were really good. And it made me realize, like, I haven't had, and onion rings don't seem hard to fuck up. But this is what I was saying. The ones from Burger King do weirdly taste like a handful of old pennies. I don't know why. You get a really bad batch of them, but also maybe they're all bad. You know, I ate them not too long ago for the How to Train Your Dragon Meal on this podcast. And I feel like they weren't great when I had them then.

Here's the issue with the Burger King one specifically. They're little tight guys. I don't need those like tight little curleys. I want like the big boys. You know what I mean? I hate a sandwich. Yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm thick and fat. And I don't like a sandwich that's sloppy, but for some reason with

onion rings, I'm like, yeah, it should be too big to fit in my mouth. Like Arnold Palmer's hog. I want to blast my ear. No way a burglinking onion ring is fitting around Arnold Palmer's Hawk. He needs something from plant power. I need a hula hoop. Jesus. Wags, these golden rings were so, you could confuse

with these bad boys. That's how golden and perfect they were. You might sing about them at Christmas time. That's how perfect these golden rings were. On the fifth verse of a certain song. We won't tell you which song. The other thing I really liked about this place was because I like Montes.

I'm a Montes fan. I don't mean to speak ill of them. I don't think their sweets are particularly good. Like Montes shakes and stuff are kind of bad. I would say. I remember tasting very much like chocolate syrup, I remember. Yes, it was very chocolate syrup heavy.

And also, like, it's either almond or coconut. You can very much taste like the almond or coconut milk. I think it's Odie, maybe. Oh, maybe that's what, yes, yeah. That is very strong. I've had success with, like, I think with a coffee one, if they have a coffee one. I'm not, that's not Mandela effect. But, like, they're one of the, one of the flavors I did enjoy.

But in general, yeah, I'm with you. They're kind of mediocre. And this place, their chocolate shake was delicious. Wow. Okay. So I didn't, I didn't have the shakes. I did I assume you opted out

because you're not doing it yet but wait you had the chocolate one and what was the other what was the other thing that we got Harlem shake Was it just the chocolate shake We had some sort of Wow the clinically depressed

Harlem shake Major depression Harlem shake You got the, I didn't taste the chocolate milkshake, but Amelia did get a chocolate chip cookie dough snow day, which is the creamy organic, She went to retrieve that. She went to her urgent care. She's taking a blood transfusion because of the McRibsauce.

She went to retrieve the creamy organic vanilla serve mixed with delicious chocolate chip cookie dough pieces. She's secretly fucking drinking more of that barbecue. No, there's no, uh, quotes around any of this, but I have to imagine. Unlike when Ashley says she loves me. I'm like to say it. It's not normal, baby.

Yeah, I like being around you. Amelia, did any of this get sampled? Yes. Yeah, yeah. I don't have some of this as well. Yeah, I want to try a little more, though. Don't get a little, don't get piggy on me. Don't get stingy over there, baby. This did solidify a little bit.

What was the texture like on arrival? It was a little like a blizzard. Okay, so yeah, this is like a little bit chunkier now. I'm going to have a little bite. I'm getting some of the. chocolate chips I'm having some of the the nugs of cookie dough

you ever see the Fulmonte I did it was like a big thank you that was like a big mom my mom and dad like loved the Fomonti yeah a big parent movie yeah I never seen it though I like it shows middle age people kind of let loose I think that is fun was your sequel was it the Fomonti 2

they made a musical at a certain point that's delightful I really like I think this is good too oh I'm a fan. I am a fan of this. I mean, big old chocolate chips. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. I love cookie dough, too.

Yeah, cookie dough is great. This, like, all the mix-ins really, again, just what we were talking about earlier with with vegan food, just having, like, a lot of components. The mix-ins really mute the, you know, the, the, I guess, I don't know if there's a coconut base. I'm trying to divine what exactly is. It might be also oat milk, right? This is also oat milk, it kind of mutes the oat milk base of the vanilla ice cream.

You know what's funny is that I taste the oat milk more now that's been re-frozen, funny enough. Oh, interesting. And is that, are you not, you don't like that flavor particularly? I don't love oat milk. Yeah. I love milk. I'm with you. Sorry.

Here's the issue with the Fulmonte. They don't show hog. Yeah. The final, the final, the whole thing is a Fulmonte, but the final shot, like, because the whole thing is they're doing a, like, a strip show for, as a fundraiser. You wrote a bunch of letters to Fox searchlight about that. Dear sirs. As a teenager, just furious.

They show their bare asses And so the final frame of the movie is them Showing their dicks to the audience And then you just see their bare asses from behind I was like give us the fucking Actually I do remember arguing this in high school I was like they should have shown their fucking dicks In the Pull Monty

Sorry so you can't join the debate team When you said argue this I thought that maybe you were like in front of the class Yeah This is geometry Map class yeah it was still fun movie were they too skinny why won't they show these dicks aren't they proud of the hogs yeah aren't they proud of these dogs but that's the same the lead of that play i forget his name now but he's a great actor he plays begbie and train spot

yes all right yeah yeah you could uh hey you're a writer you can write full monte too where they finally do it they finally show it it's a shot for shot remake except it just shows the hogs again well i feel like and feel free to cut this out but i don't think any dicks look good soft. That's what it says on the tombstone. That's what it says on my Instagram bio. More on different planets, my friend. No, we are, we are on the same team.

There are some that are they're unnatural looking, I feel like, for this earth-wise. Yeah, I hate them. Yeah, me too. Not cool. I never remember any of them wins. About any of they see. Same all.

More dogs, I say. Were you even like the fake ones 28 years later it's fake I mean the fake Like I still like seeing that one It was funny Wait there was a fake dick Yeah it's a fake hot

It's gigantic The alpha hog In 28 years later is Wait was it a zombie dick Or a human dick? It's a zombie dick It's a zombie dick It's a but apparently it was prosthetic

But it is a fucking Goliath That's hilarious That makes you want to see that movie It was one of my favorite movies of the year I loved it Really?

Yeah it's great Robert Carlisle The actor who is in train spotting as well as the Fulmonte. And I believe he is also in 28 weeks later. Am I wrong about that? No, you're right. He's the dad.

He is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great actor. Great opening in that movie. Yeah, great opening. Great opening of 28 weeks later. Yeah, awesome opening doesn't really sustain for the whole movie, unfortunately. But the first half hours, the first half hours, like, this is fucking rad.

Yeah. Yeah. Also, Danny Boyle, right? Yeah. Well, no, I don't think, I don't think Boyle directed. Two, I think, is not Boyle. One, 28 days and then years is Boyle. And the writer, the writer is that director.

Alex Garland. Alex, yeah, who wrote the original 28 days later. Yep. Which came from, it was inspired by his love of Resident Evil in part. Oh. What that? Honey, you game. I came.

I know Resident Evil. We just got the new Donkey Kongan Switch. We did. Oh, banana. What a fucking hoot. People are saying, people on mine are saying that you're not. doing a good banana what the fuck are what's talking about do it again do it again oh

banana oh banana right isn't that oh that's pretty good they're both pretty good yeah this sucks well yours sounds like it yours sounds like yours through a filter which is kind of what it sounds like right yeah if you if you layered both of your u bananas i think it would be the perfect donkey con i've beaten i've 100% of donkey con you're not the first person that has told me that i've been 100% it i liked it a lot I think it's a great game. Question.

When are we going to get to the mind carts? Are there mind carts ever? Mort's always asking. There's not enough mind cards in the game, but there are mind cards. They're mine carts. All right. There are smash. What level are you on?

What level? We have not gotten that far. We're in the second layer. Oh, my God. There's a lot of layers. Yeah. There's more game left than you even imagine. Okay.

So are you on the water level or the one after the water level? We're on the one with the little rocks that like sing, a little rock people. Oh, yeah, sure, sure. You're at the start of the start of the. the game. Yeah. Yeah. I like smashing a lot. So I have to be like, honey, can we progress in the game a little bit? It's hard me to go forward. He'll just like blank out

and just smash. I have a lot of unprocessed rage. Yes. It's coming out through Donkey Kong. Yeah. Bonanza and I can't, yeah, it's I've got a completionist thing where I want to destroy the whole world. That's a tough. It's going to be harder as it goes on to just because it gets crazy. I'm impressed. I mean,

you're the kind of person who 100% is a game when you get really into it, but I'm impressed you 100% of that game because it is such a completionist like trap because like you yeah you you are compelled to smash absolutely everything yeah and it sounds like you're not even that into it i i i do love it yeah mario odyssey is a much better game you think it overstayed it's welcome a little bit and it's maybe a little bit thin for you know again how meaty it is yeah yeah there's i mean i think that they like loved that concept of like digging into the earth which i think is great and i think it is a lot of fun but then and they do it

introduce stuff later on that you're like this is like a fun different thing that we can do now but but I think Mario Odyssey is just a much more fun game but still like you know like it still gets like an A minus or something you know it's still a great great game yeah someone was telling me they thought it was better than Mario Odyssey and thus far I'm like no Mario Odyssey is like a perfect

Mario Mario Odyssey you could argue was the best Mario game of all time I think it is it's so good it's so good yeah I love it so much I love the Resident Evil games that's like when I I don't like to game as much anymore because I will stay up till 3 in the morning or 4 in the morning just gaming and I can't

do that I like will go insane and and so I so I don't game as much as I used to and I didn't even play the new the uh what's the Zelda sequel not uh tears the Kings the Kingdom I haven't I I need to I know I need to play it I have it and I but I'm gonna want a hundred percent it or like and it's huge and it's gigantic they don't even know how you had 100% yeah I mean I don't I think with with Breath of the Wild I got close and was like I don't need to 100% this but Mario Odyssey I was like I need like platformers I always want 100% Yeah, right. And I do love it.

I think it's great. And I'm excited for Metroid that's going to come out in a... Oh, cool. But I think December. Ashley, what are your, what are your top three Marios? Odyssey's number one? It's Odyssey 64. I love this list.

Wow. And probably Super Mario RPG, which is the... Wow. Okay. But I love Super Mario. We're very... It's Odyssey and then 64 in my own world. I mean, 64, we've talked about this before.

World and 64 are just... I think 64 is just such a revolutionary game. It's like... Sure. It was crazy. That is like a core memory for me. Same here. It's like putting that in the console and being like, it's 3D.

Like it's, it was crazy. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you have to put it in its context. You play it nowadays. There are aspects of it that are a little clunky, you know. Very clunky for sure. But it is, of course, an all-timer.

But like, for me, I just, I just, Super Mario World is my number one. I mean, not a bad choice. It's a great game. I just love the 2D Mario's. Yeah. Resident Evil's, that's like another game that I will buy and like complete, like 100% complete. I won't go to, like, when it gets, like, doing the super hard run-throughs or anything like that, but I always want to play.

Are you guys Resident Evil players? I never was. Oh, man, it's so good. I'd say get into it still, because they remake all of them, and they're so good. Do you like the spooky scleries in general in any sort of media? I actually like The Last of Us. I look like I invented video games, but I don't game it. You're non-gamer-mort?

Well, he's been smashing and bananas. I've discovered that I kind of, so what I did because I wanted to be cool, so I stopped gaming and started skateboarding when I was like 12 and that's just been my obsession since but so I kind of picked up with Ashley a little bit so there's some stuff it's easy stuff gets too complex for me right right it's kind of the thing so

although we played Odyssey together all the way through yeah and that was cool it's funny because at the end when you can like go into Bowser and then there's like the hard just such a great one of the greatest video game moments ever but the is it after that there's like a super hard like permadeath level it was the first thing like that than Mort had ever played

and at one point he took his glasses off and just laid flat on the ground, like face down. Yeah, like true grief. And I was like, well, I don't like those type of levels and it is now the more Nintendo thing is like you do it and then there's like a super hard level afterwards. Do you, oh man. Yeah, she's a, like the games you play are very challenging.

I like rogue likes a lot. Okay. So I'm very like, yeah, if it's punishing and if I die, I start at the beginning, give it to me. Wow. What are you saying your faves? Slay the Spire Spelunky

I got way too into slay the spire I keep going Oh it's so good Yeah Spelunky Spelunky This guy's loving this

over here Hades is an all-timer Hades is so good Was the one you just played Blueprints Is that what it's called? Blue Prints is a rogue like of a kind

Yeah Did you play blueprints? Here's the thing I did play blueprints I kind of got sick of Blueprints I get it I get it I get it

I know people are like I was like in the where I really appreciated it and I really liked it. And then after I got to the 46th room, I was like, I don't have to do this anymore. It's such an impressive design. Like, I'm just like, this is really incredible what you did. I don't really have fun playing this. But I, but I, like, hey, how about that? You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. But the part of it, too, is me coming in with the expectations of having people these rapturous receptions of like, this game is going to, this is a transcendent

work of art. It's going to absolutely blow your mind. And I'm playing this thing just like, you know, dealing with the frustrations that exist within that are inherent to its to its randomness but um it is it is a very impressive game the game is as good as mario odyssey i will 100% of be fine with that last level but it was like pull your hair out frustrating it was hard it's hard and like i was like it was like one of those things i never want to look for help on video games that was like one of the things like how i need help to beat this it was very hard and sort of masterfully done that they saved that until the very end because you're said you're beyond the point of no return you have to finish it

The amount that you've dedicated? Yeah. Completely. We got the buffalo wings. Oh, fine. We'll talk about this bullshit, too. These were more tendies than wings. I thought they were okay.

I've had so many versions of this. I would say they were almost bad, actually. Their nuggets were not great. The nuggets weren't great. The nuggets were bad. The nuggets, I thought the nuggets were very fake tasting in a way that, like, I've had better vegan nuggets. Totally. It's not hard to get good vegan nuggets at a grocery store right now.

A little spongy, a little bread-like, a little wet crouton sort of character to them. This is the issue with all that fun. With vegan fast food, I think, in general is, look, you don't want to wait to eat fast food, but even like the 10 minutes or the delivery time it takes, with vegan fast food, that window is even smaller, I think. It's like you really want to eat it in restaurant. You want to eat it hot or becomes kind of spongy and whatever. And there was a little bit of delivery, a delivery sog that was going on.

Yes, for sure. Speaking of the fake chicken, Mitch, the Buffalo 66 sandwich. Much better to me than the wings and the nuggets. I thought it was okay. I thought it was pretty good, but like my Big Zach in the California burrito were better. This one had some ranch on there as well as the, you know, the veggies and the buffalo chicken patty. Yeah. And then Amelia, what did I try the bite of?

You tried the bite. Both you and Mitch had a bite of my Nashville hot chicken. sandwich? Amelia comes over and goes, you got to try this. It just puts it down in front of me. And it was her Nashville hot chicken sandwich. I tried it. And it said it tasted like fish to me. I don't know if you felt the same way.

I liked it. For me, and I was talking about this, yeah, there was a sweet coleslaw that I thought was adventurous enough to sustain the heat as well. So I thought it was like pretty good. And I was coming off the nuggets too, which tasted like a nickel. So I was like this thing. I like the sweetness

of it. But I'm with you too. A soft nickel. Yeah, damn. Oh, somebody melt this weird nickel. So I feel like if I would have had it in restaurant, it would have been like maybe seven out of ten. Like I thought it was that good, but I tasted the sog. I apologize if you already gave your fries thoughts.

Because we've talked with the onion rings. You got some regular fries, and then we also had some curly fries for the table, which I thought were all right. Yeah. The fries were, it's, fries are really good. Really cross the middle. Like down the middle, I would say.

Yes. I think it's really good as a fine way to characterize them. just more, like, what I mean by down the middle is, like, this is how I expect them to be executed from the fast food restaurant. Fries should be excellent. It's just a great thing that fries exist, and these were good. Yeah. Got a question for you.

What would you rather eat? Five pennies, three nickels, two quarters, or six dimes? I guess I'd do the six dimes because I'm shitting out 60 cents. Come out ahead. Oh, that's true. Yeah. I think I also do the dimes. Why did you, why did you hit, like, hit those numbers?

I thought that, I thought I had a good breakdown of it. You're trying to talk about the quantity of metal based on the size. Yeah, and also how big they are. How big they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I doing these dry or am I washing them down with some McRib sauce? Can I drink? You can wash them down with whatever.

Okay. I think the dimes are easiest to swallow. I think quarters I would be afraid to do because I think I would choke. Yeah. Yep. And how many pennies? Did you say five? I said five pennies, six dimes.

Yeah, yeah. But times are how bigger dimes? Dimes are... Dimes are pretty small. Dimes would taste better than pennies is kind of where my head is at. I think so, too. I feel like Pettys would taste like shit. It would taste better. Yeah. Would you rather eat four quarters or one dollar bill?

I do the dollar bill. I would do the dollar bill too. But it's probably going to be so gross. It would be fucking nasty. But you can see, in theory, roll it up pretty small. Yeah. Yeah. And then just fucking toss it in your stomach and have it expand.

Yeah. Take it like a pill, basically. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. How many quarters again? Four quarters of it. Four, I got to go dollar bill.

Yeah, you rip it up or no? I mean, yeah, you can do whatever you want with it. Okay, cool. Because it's just got to go into your body. It is the dirtiest, in my head, it's the dirtiest one. Same. Which makes it harder. You know what I mean?

Can you clean a dollar bill? Mm, good question. Could we clean the dollar bill in this scenario? You can clean the dollar bill and you can also clean the coins. Okay. Yeah, so whatever we want to do with them in advance. Like, again, it's just like any sort of sauce you want to use. It's all up for grabs.

Okay. All right. then I do dollar bill. I'm doing dollar bill for sure. I do dollar bill. Should we turn into a double? Yeah, yeah. We'll turn into you.

You will have you guys back to eat money. Yeah, great. No, I can't. Patreon listeners watch, like, Patreon of the people watching us eat money. That's the most late stage capitalism shit. I for some reason had to get like lip surgery or something. I've seen like there, you know, because there are,

There are casino streamers. There are people who, like, Twitch stream, like, slot machines. And then I've seen, like, people, like, will, like, donate them money for them to, like, for spins or whatever. He's, like, this is fucking insane. Whoa. But I guess it's, whatever. I guess it's entertainment. It's just much less abstracted than it generally is.

Right, right. I'm giving you money for you to spend. Just like spending money knowing you won't, you don't even get the time. You don't even get the result. Are they, like, incredibly charismatic the people playing? I guess it's entertaining. And I think you also are getting the same sort of juice of gambling yourself. by proxy, you know, so I don't know.

That's fascinating, kind of. We're in for a tricky road. I mean, now that they made, like, especially they made gambling legal and worldwide accessible for all that. Take it back. They shouldn't have done it. We've talked about this before. Not to, not to.

Oh, it's an insane move. There's a reason it was, like, regulated. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. It's insane. They went to, they went, they went, we went too far. The, it's, we're, we're in trouble. Which fall always feels like a reset.

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Go to Shopify.com slash DLM. Shopify.com slash DLM. Back to the show. we should get to our final thoughts on plant power fast food so mort Ashley here's how this will work we'll each go around give a closing argument if you will on this particular chain and then end by giving it a score from zero to five forks so final thoughts fork score fork seated to my right your thoughts

your score out of five forks I again I like that it's vegan I enjoy that I like that they're taking swings I agree that

getting delivered's not ideal I'm gonna I'm gonna say we can go halves right yeah I'm gonna say no I'm gonna say three out of five forks

three forks good score yeah good school not too bad Hashley burp your thoughts your fork score I really

want to grade generously I guess because I do appreciate that it's a vegan fast food spot. Right. I do think that if you stayed with just the beef, quote-unquote, items, you'd probably do okay. But you didn't like your patty that, or your patty that you had that much, huh? Well, I didn't like the patty melt. The patty melt.

As Mort said, it was a dish. What do you call us? I don't know. Slip sliding. Yeah, slip sliding Sammy. A slip-slid Sammy. Whoa, whoa. Whoa.

Whoa. Well, I guess I would also give it three out of five forks. Three forks, wow. Yeah. Good score. Handholding club here with our first two reviewers. You know, it's a funny thing. Like, there were things that I thought they did well, and then there were things that, like, the nuggets, the chicken should have been better.

I thought the Buffalo 66 sandwich was the best chicken thing I had. I thought that the nuggets and I thought I did not really like your Nashville hot chicken sandwich. So it seems like you did. I love it. But you like fish. And then I said it tastes like fish And you're like, I think that's why I like it. Yeah, the texture was very fish-like

And it was very spicy And I'm something of a heat seeker myself Wow I'm a bit of a heat seeker Yes, I'm a bit of a heat seeker I'm a bit of a heat seeker I can't say that Why not?

That's my thing You use something of a heat seeker I'm a bit of a heat seeker No, no, that's mine Again Mike just beats the shit out of everyone in this room He always claims that I won't be able to do that to him Because he's fast

I am, yeah To give you some quotes I can evade you I could wear you out I think I absolutely could I think I have enough cardio where you would get gassed I'd do the rope a dope-a-dope

How much money would you need to get on Patreon to do a fight club? Yeah what does the Discord got to kick up? I think we're already at the threshold Let's go right into it If we went all to use gambling tournaments If we went all in on a battle to the death I would love that

That's how you want to go down I mean I think that he would just lay down and smile I get hard I wouldn't be able to kill you as a thing I wouldn't be able to kill my friend Mitch Oh Wags Oh I would be able to kill you

Don't forget about I want to kill you but I can't help but suck you off You're hard like this I could not kill my friend Wags But if we got the right enough amount of enough money We would do a fight club at least Yeah sure I mean I don't know

Should we be fighting we shouldn't even be drinking the McRibsau do we're giving each other CTE We're in our 40s It feels a little bit Like the natural end

To the evolution Of the somewhat Like self-abusive nature Of the show Is to beat each other to Yeah I think you're right Well you know what

You don't have to worry about that today Because we had all vegan food So this is a healthier version And our big question is What is it trying to do? Is it good at what it's trying to do? Is it good at what it's trying to do? to do, right? And how, like, how much is it succeeding at what it's trying to do? And I don't really

know with plant power. I think they're trying to make a vegan fast food. But, you know, we went to McCharly's, which is very much the McDonald's, a vegan McDonald's, which to the point where more, you said, like, is it illegal? And I'm not sure. I don't know the answer. It feels like it is. But plant power, I'm not as sure kind of what their whole thing is. It's just good vegan fast food. And I think that they succeed with some of that. I think that, I think all the chicken items are not great and they need to step up some of the chicken items and like we were saying there is much better like chicken vegan chicken nuggets so there's no real there's no real excuse for that don't forget about that burrito though the the burrito was great the big zach was great

the big mac somehow really works well with vegan food and that dessert was pretty good too yeah the desserts are good i think i'm going to go in the handholding club i'm going three forks Wags. Three forks all around. It falls to me. Am I going to join? And I would never kill you. Wow, what a nice thing to say. Is it? Not really. The bare man. The low bar here. I'm going to, I mean, like, the question is, am I going to join the rest of the panel with a three fork assessment? I think the highs here were pretty high. I mean, we talked about the, that chocolate chip cookie dough snow day. I thought that was delightful a California burrito and the big Zach sandwich all got mentioned. The thing is there were

a number of these that were just kind of like inert or or were just like a skeptics idea of what vegan food is. You know what I mean? I certainly would characterize the buffalo wings that way. And, you know, the patty mel I thought was was pretty disappointing as an LTO. But I do think this place is doing a good job and I would, I wanted to succeed. I want there to be more concepts like this. Is it doing anything distinct versus like, you know, the Monty's of the world, the other entrants in the sector? I'm not sure, but I think what it's doing, it's doing well. And I think three forks is the right area. So I'm going to also say three forks.

We are in the handholding club all around. A four-time handholding club. That's very rare. Wow. Incredible. Eight hands. And I do feel like the branding is that, like, calling it a big Zach, have more fun like that. Yeah, sure.

Totally great. The branding of the thing. Yeah, but then is it like, is it a McDonald's? See, this is the side of it. I don't just, I really just don't know about this place. I don't, I need more investigation. It's not just a McDonald's. No, it's trying, it's going to be, it's trying to catch all.

Because if it was a McDonald's, it wouldn't have like curly fries or whatever the fuck. You know what I mean? True. It's, Mr. Charlie's is very much trying to just be McDonald's. This is trying to be its own thing. If I were to rebrand this particular fast food restaurant, I feel like what they should do is they should take the, like, the iconic meal from each fast food place. and do the vegan spin on it. I like that.

You know? That's like the, you know, because we were talking about Carl's Jr. And like they only would offer certain of their burgers with the beyond patty when they had it. But you could get it substituted. But like something like the Western Bacon Cheeseburger, if they had like having that as it, actually they may have exactly that. We may just have not ordered it. But those sorts of things, those signature items in vegan form is, it would be a lot of fun. Totally.

Yeah. It's the, it's not the whopper. It's the flopper or whatever. But it's very clear like what the thing is. Yeah. All right. That was our review of planet power. It's time for a segment.

I'll name a snack, and Mitch and Ashley and Mort must guess the amount of serving spring container. This is serving USA. If everybody had a portion across the USA, then everybody'd be serving, like Californiae, Brutos. You'd see him snacking from baggies, and eating Santos too,

A busho busho Tomato's Serve in U.S.A Deep fried, pan fried USA Deep fried pan fried USA Deep fried pan fried U.S.A.

Deep fried pan fried USA Deep fried pan fried USA Deep fried pan fried everybody's gone serving serving RAP Brian Wilson So you'll each guess What a tribute

Yeah What a tribute to Brian Wilson Really Really as tasteful as a Trump's tribute To Arnold Palmer Everybody see the dick on that corpse Alright let me sign some shit in the law All right you'll each guess

The amount of servings per container Closest guess Wins a point for that round M.R. Amelia if you want to track Amelia you want to track scores over there Assume every product's container is its standard size unless stated otherwise

do we understand the rules And we will have images It's time so that that will help Got it, we'll have images for each of these We're guessing servings per container We're guessing number of servings per container, yes Okay First up, Pop Tarts Frosted Strawberry

There are eight toaster pastries within What is the serving size Or I'm sorry, how many servings are per container? Mitch, yeah, 16 Mitch says 16 Anyone else? I also say 16. Can I say the same number?

Yeah, I mean, yeah, sure. Okay, yeah, I'll also say 16. Unfortunately, none of you get it is four servings per container. Oh, wow. Yes, two pastries is one serving. Oh, I doubled. I for sure thought it was one Pop-Tart. I just said what Mitch said because I'm a coward.

Next up, Lays classic. There's only eight anyways. Lays classic potato chips. This is an eight-ounce bag. Eight servings. You're saying eight servings. Wait, but that's a small bag, though, right? Eight ounces is a smaller bag.

I'm going to say 30 servings. Right, eight ounces is a small bag. He says 30 servings. I'm going to say two. Oh, that's small. Wait, how many? I have the answer key. Let me just look at it.

The answer I have here says eight servings per container. Now, I can't imagine there are eight one-ounce servings. Is that correct? Eight servings per container. That's what it says. Wow. Ashley gets it. Ashley gets a point.

Isn't that like three chips? That's fucking. That can't be an eight-ounce bag, though. Is that really how it lines up? Yeah, the big bag is eight ounces. I guess eight ounces to me is small because a drink, eight ounces is little. We're American. Chips are very light and airy, so I guess a lot equals an ounce.

So Ashley's in the lead with one. Next up, Honeymade Graham. When you were singing the song, you sound like a kid who's goldfish died. Honeymade gram crackers. This is a 14.4 ounce box. How many servings per container? This is tricky. This is tricky.

24. You're saying 24. Yeah. I want to say 12 servings. 12. I would like that number. I like 12. I'm going to go, oh, shit.

I'll go 14. I was going to go 10 or I was going to say 12. Mitch gets it on the dot 14 servings per 18. Wow, two Fole cracker sheets. We got a real

honey made rain man over there. Do we get two points for getting exactly right? No, that's not a rule. I mean, we can make it a rule. Then I would have gotten two points. Then Ashley would also get it.

You also would have gotten two points. But also, unless we started right when I did it, but I don't. Next up, Skittles original. This is a 7.2 ounce bag. Did you guys know that these are, did you guys know that these are technically not fit for human consumption?

Skittles, they have been designated as not fit for human consumption. I believe it. Yeah, they're like primarily delicious. They're plastic or something. I got to stop me. 12 ounces? Yeah. The Skittles thing I can say, the Skills Factority, I can say, having worked on a couple

Skittles ads, the official industry term for an individual Skiddle within the company, because they don't say Skittles singular, is Skittles Lentel. I hate that. Yeah, pretty disgusting, right? What? A Skittles Lentel. A Skittles Lentel. Ugh.

Not a Skittl. Skittles Lentel. That's awful. I'm going to say 15 servings. Mitch says 15. And 12 ounces? This is 7.2 ounce. Oh, 7.2 ounces?

But it based on this. It's good that that helps you. I'm so dumb. I do that that doesn't help me. I feel like the picture of the bag helps me because it has this like hole in the top like it's hanging. How many did you say? I said 15 and I think that I maybe went under. You said 15.

I'm going to say five servings. Five servings. And this is 12 ounces and the bag of chips was eight hours. ounces, but it was... This is 7.2 ounces. Yes. I wish I were smarter. No, perfectly intelligent. I'm going to say four. Ooh, okay. Ashley, what was your guess? Five, I think?

Ashley comes closest. It's seven servings per container. Okay, I'm going way too high with some of these. Well, also, like, weight is hard with different things. Like, an ounce of skittles is so different than an ounce of chips. I thought it would be, like, five skittles per serving, and then that's why I was like, there was going to be like 60-something skittles in there. It's seven pieces per serving. Oh, my God, it's so much more than I thought. What you're always dealing with is how disingenuous are these companies being?

Because they're always trying to skew it a little bit smaller. I believe them to make it less caloric. Next up, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish. This is a 6.6 ounce bag. So I believe this is a standard bag. Classic bag. Classic bag. I will eat one of these in one sitting.

Yeah. I really love. All food that's made like toddlers love tastes great. Very easy to take a whole one of these to the dome. I'm going to say three. Three. Hmm. No. Yeah. No, four. Four. Mort says four servings. I'm going to go eight servings. I'm doubling Mort. This is eight. Ten servings. Amelia, do we have a ruling here? Because two of our guesses came within the same amount. Do they each get a point of six servings per container?

Yeah, let's give them each a point. Okay. It's not Price's Right rule. So Mort and Mitch each get a point there. Dang. Thank God, I got a point. You're on the board. Do you mean Ashley? I said 10. Oh, Mitch. Yeah, nice try, Millie. What the fuck? Here's the score. Oh, wait. Okay. With this new Mitch rule, Mitch has three, Ashley has three, and Mort has one. Wow.

Next step. Wait, how is Ashley? Not that I'm trying to. Exactly right. Unless you're trying to institute that only you get that. No, but wait, did you, what was your second one you got right? That's what I'm saying. Oh, the honeymeat.

Fuck. Hostess Twinkies. This is a three... I'm not competitive. Funny, he needs this. A 13.5.8 ounce box of hostess twinkies. With 10 individually wrapped cakes. 10 cakes.

10 cakes. That's right. 10 individually wrapped cakes. That's right. Well, it's got to be 10. I think we're all going to say 10. Unless it's crazy and it's like half a Twinkie is a serving. Yeah, that's what I thought was going to be.

I thought it was going to be... Yeah. I don't know. I'm going to say 10. I'm going to say 10. I'm going to say 10 also. Also 10. I'm going to switch it up and say five. Mitch, you're going to get another two points

This is five servings for containers Two cakes Oh shit It is sneaky that they're individually wrapped though And a serving size is too Deceptive I used to like y'all Y'all ever like them hostess snacks

I used to like a chockadile Oh yeah Used to do me a Twinkie? Yeah, a lot of ones What was the chocolate version of like the Twinkie basically That was chockadile Yeah Or there was a there's a senior as well

Coho's is one of them And the little cupcakes The cakey one The chocolate cup cakey one That's like a sandwich I'm going to look it up right now. They're all great. There were zingers, which came in to do a few different flavors.

There were also, like, dingongs or cupcakes. I don't know what you're thinking about specifically. I think of the Choccodile because that was the one that was a coated. Went from eating zingers to spitting out zingers. Nice, Mitch. Nice. Two more. Frito's original corn chips is a 9.25 ounce bag.

It has to be one, doesn't it? What? No, oh, this is another big bag. It's a bag. It's like a, yeah, not like the tiny ones. Yeah, nine point two This is a big boy So now this game is breaking me psychologically

It is a little disorienting That how much nine that like nine ounces is But this is like a not quite a party size But like a regular size bag I'm gonna say five servings You're saying five I was about to say six servings And I will say six servings pretty fucked up Yeah I'm gonna go chronological and say seven

Mord is gonna take it as nine servings per continue Wow We have one left What's the score Amelia? Mitch has five Ashley has Three, more it has two. All right. So it is, Ashley, you could take this

if you get this exactly right here. This is high goes to the guest. Just fucked up. The final one, planters dry roasted peanuts. This is a 16 ounce jar. Look at that little freak. I know.

Ho-ho's are what I used to eat. 16-ounce jar. This is like, this is going to be like the 19, is it 86 was Miracle? The Miracle on Ice? When was the Miracle on Ice? Sounds right. Emma said Ho-ho's earlier, right, didn't you? Yes. Yeah, no, she, yeah. My brother had a strong

ho-ho's phase during COVID, so we had like an endless supply of ho-hoes for a while. Ho-ho's are good as hell. I kind of ho-ho's phase in college. Nice, dude. You go wild your fucks. I'm going to say 12 servings. 12 servings.

Wow. I'm going to say this is a trick question. It's zero servings. No one should eat these dry. roast. 16 wags. Someone is getting two points. That person is our winner.

The spoon man, Mike Mitchell. Oh, shit. Very good. Wasn't it cool that I was so competitive for this? That was so cool, dude. I loved it. That was serving USA, just like a restaurant, I buy your feedback. Let's open another feedback. Today's email is from James S. at James Diggity.

I'm sorry, at Jim Diggott. James writes, if you haven't heard, Kraft Hines wants you to mix flavors in your ketchup. What frankens sauces are your favorites? Which would you like to see on the shelves? Love the Pod. Excert from the article for context. So I guess the way this question is structured,

it just sort of links to something, and then Amelia pulled a little quote here. Sauce bases include ketchup, ranch, 57 sauce, and barbecue sauce. Customers can pick one, yes, just one, and mix it with flavor. enhancers, including jalapeno, smoky chapolet, buffalo, and mango.

Here, you can pick more than one. These extra flavors can be added at low, medium, or high intensities. There are over 200 possible combinations. So this is like a Coke freestyle machine, but for sauces, it seems. Oh.

Ugh. We had very different reactions. He's like, where's the McRibbs? Yeah, they've expired McRib sauce. You see if I can open this link here. In a sense we are rebranding Heinz here.

Nice. Alia, a podcast crossover. I was on rebrand as well, by the way. Yes, that's great. What did you rebrand? We rebranded, was it... Fast food, I think? Yeah, fast food. Yeah, I was going to say which fast food place, but it was all fast food. Yeah. I mostly were just remember you talking about a Zempic grimace. That's right. That was the main...

Thin grimace. Here is a... I can show this to... Is this real? I mean, I think this is maybe a concept. Oh, okay. This is the Heinz's dream experience. On the on the Coke The freestyle machines I like that it exists

I think we were happy When they first came out That it exists But the thing is like some of the There's you know It's just not the same As like a dedicated pour But I like that you have so many options

Yeah I feel like this machine Would just you would get into the issue Of things all tasting the same It seems yeah Like how is that pump Not going to be just like Taking some of every sauce

That has been previously crafted You know Yeah Unless it sort of like rinses itself between you know I don't know if it does. I don't know if it does. It also feels like a kind of a fear factor thing where like Americans are just seeing how far we can go

into heart disease. That's also true. Yeah. Doing a suicide of those would be a nightmare. Mix them all. Yeah. This reminds me of the... By the way, we were wondering how our stomachs would feel after eating the fast food and mine is starting to turn. Oh, dang.

I think you had the... We got a lot to... do after this, too. I ate too much, I would say, and then I still ate some of this ice cream. Yeah, then you did the, let us not forget. What's that? That you shotguned McRitts.

That's true. We did not have a control for this, actually. Yeah, if you guys were fine, then I guess maybe. Yeah, I feel like a little. I took a tiny sip. Some of these are just going to be no-goes for me. Like, like, mango ranch sounds repulsive. That's awful.

That sounds awful. I don't think that should be an option. No. That's the problem with these sorts of things you can fuck yourself. Yes. You know, you all right? Yeah, I just, I just yawned. Okay.

I'm just moving around because of my stomach. There's, you know, there's things going on. This reminds me of the chili pump from 7-Eleven. You know what I mean? It's just like, it's like, I just see this nozzle, and it's like, this should not be coming out of here. This does not feel sanitary. I have used that chili pump. Yeah, me too.

Yeah. Something of a certain thickness should not be coming out of a distribution like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's the vicissitude. Yeah. The viscosity is. Thank you.

It's a problem. Yeah. Yeah. So are we being asked what flavors we would do? The question was, what Franken sauces are your favorites? What would you like to see on the shelves? The thing is, like, this doesn't give us a lot of options from the article. It really says ketchup ranch, 57 sauce, and barbecue sauce with jalapeno, smoky chippole, buffalo, and mango.

I will say, I do always like a spicy ranch again as something of a heat seeker. So, you know, if they do like a jalapeno ranch, like, yeah, that could be all right. I know it's a thing that already exists. But I remind seeing a version of that. What is 57 sauce exactly? I've had it, but I don't know if I could characterize the flavor. It's on the cheeseburger in paradise. It's not on the cheeseburger in paradise.

What the fuck? That's a whole fucking issue with the Margaritaville version of the Cheeseburger in Paradise does not include Heinz 57. In the song, it's on the actual fucking cheeseburger. They serve at the Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville. Are you fucking kidding? An insult to his legacy. Yeah, true.

When I went to Margaritabille for the first time, they gave a, us a bottle of Heinz 57. It's there, but it does not come on the sandwich by the fall. It should be on the sandwich. And I don't know if they're still giving you that Heinz 57. Do they bake Heinz 57 still? I don't know. Is it true that you have to be divorced to eat at Margarita ville? Single or divorce. I mean, to me, I think, like, I like mine with lettuce and tomato. Hines 57 and French fried potato. I think he was just trying to rhyme. So, you know, I don't think that that I don't think he really love not to call God rest

his soul not trying to call Jimmy Buffett into question but I don't I don't know if I ever believe that he really liked Heinz 57 on the on his burger. What do you think his hog was like? Yeah, good question. Pretty big. There's probably some worms bound down to it. Yeah. He I mean like this is

this is a thing that was known about him but he kind of like the Dean Martin you know was drinking apple juice on stage while while acting like a drunk of Jimmy Buffett would like take as I think I think he just got older and stopped partying as much and so like when he'd have like a land shark

logger that he'd pour a little bit out of and he'd just hold oh yeah yeah he wasn't actually like you know he wasn't actually drinking on stuff yeah he was very much a business man yeah yeah yeah yeah right the latest chain of restaurants is Heinz 57 sauce that's is that the steak sauce what am I yes it's a so

it's there it's Heinz's steak sauce and they say it's a sweet and tangy American steak sauce with a base of tomato puree vinegar and some spices so I think it's like more zesty ketchup I love that I think it's thinner than ketchup. It's not like A1, right? Or is it like A1?

I don't think it's quite like A1, but I think it's a similar like consistency. It's not quite as thick as ketchup. Okay. Wow. Bring back Heinz 57. It's fun. Yeah, bring back. If Carl's Jr. is like, we have the Heinz 57 burger.

You would go try that. Yeah, try it. Why not? Yeah. So what are the options here? This is the whole thing. I don't think there are enough options for us to answer this. Well, I mean.

Can you just. Like, are you supposed to just, like, make your own? Like, I always, like, ketchup and mayo, like, on my plate and I'll, like, mix them together. Yeah, that's fun. Can I make this in this, like, theoretical pump? So, like, a jalapeno mango, I think would be good. Yeah. Oh, there you go.

Mm-hmm. Spice and sweet. That would be good. I like a spicy. I like a smoky chapolet. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

I am, I'm looking, I had a couple of good, um, ranches up in, uh, at Bajali's wags. So I wanted to get the, like, multiple different ranches. They had a couple different, they had a creamy pepper, pepper and chini ranch. or a creamy pepper and chiney dipping sauce and then a green garlic ranch and I thought both of them were great. I think that's kind of more as like Zach Cherry was just here

and he was nominated for an Emmy congrats to Zach Sherry we love Zach and he asked me the other night he's like where should I get some pizza from and I told them prime pizza which he liked quite a bit and they just have a great homemade ranch and that's all I need

like hey a homemade ranch and a you know each one tastes a little bit different and their house ranch is great you can buy bottles of their ranch when you order pizza It's fucking great. You can get a bottle of it delivered and keep it in your fridge.

It's really, really good. It's good, yeah. It's fucking good. You know what I say to this Heinz freestyle machine, wherever the fuck, it's called? Burn in hell. Yeah. Oh, I wasn't going to say burn in hell. But you all say that as well.

Burn in hell. I almost feel bad sending the robot down to hell. Yeah. But, you know. Why? Why was I programmed to go to hell? Why was I giving him more to life? If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at

Feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 or go-dough. That's 830 466384 for our producers Emma. Wags, one second. One second. One second. I'm afraid to show you these notes, but look, you can see this here. Troy Werner. No, no, no, don't read that one.

Troy Werner is like the opposite of Vern Troier. And he's, like, and this is the actor I would want to play Biggie Me. Biggie me Biggie me And that's a big version of Dr. Evil That's good A big doctor's funny

Wow that's really good That proves the young in collective unconscious Theory That's powerful Biggie me I remembered I wasn't at that live show Wow Thanks a lot of me all yeah

I don't remember I'm not gonna remember this episode I'm not gonna remember this episode I neither am I Our producers Emma Erdmerink, our associate producers, Emilio Marino, our video editor is Mike Dorfman, doughboys, uh, doughboys merch, can ship goods.com slash doughboys and the doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back pack catalog is available at patreon.com slash doughboys.

Shut up Barry Lamb for finding that clip. Wow. Well done, Barry. Yeah, that's beautiful. One alpha. Ashley Birch, Mort Burke, rebrand is the podcast. People should check it up. Please tell people about the show and anything else you would like to plug.

Yeah, sure. Rebrand is our podcast. We rebrand stuff episodes with you guys They should go check that We just had Ron Funches on We just had River Butcher on Oh wow Yeah it's been fun man

It's been great There's like I think we're at We're almost 50 episodes or something Yeah coming up And follow me at Mort Burke On all the socials And my buddy Zach and I are going to be posting some sketches soon on there

That'll be fun And I shot a special I don't know when it's coming out But I got a stand-up special Oh thank you. Another one coming out But if you haven't seen the first one It's called spiritually filthy

And you can just find it on YouTube That's so excited I'm Ashley Birch My name's spelled weird So it's Ashley without an E And Burge with EU instead of an eye And go watch I'm happy you're here on YouTube

It's a mental health show with puppet It's really Ashley put out the show And it's so good So funny and so sweet and helpful Yeah it's about a... Yeah it's about the first episode It's about an anxiety disorder And within the first 15 seconds

I talk about fucking a puppet So it's that kind of humor But go watch it And learn about anxiety disorder Our listeners love that That's perfect She likes it because it's what she calls A humiliation ritual for me

I like cucking my husband The listeners like that too Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Do Boys Until next time For the Spoodman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Wiger, happy eating See ya I'm Tegno Taro I'm May Martin

And I'm Fortune Feemster And together we're handsome What is handsome? Well, it's a state of mind It's how you feel It's whatever you want it to be Hansom is also a podcast hosted by us three stand-up comedians you may have seen on your TV.

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