Doughboys - Poquito Más with Dan Goor
Episode Date: January 10, 2019For the first review of 2019, the 'boys are joined by writer and producer Dan Goor (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Parks and Recreation) to review Poquito Más and to discuss the extravagant process of ...ordering lunch in the Brooklyn Nine-Nine writers' room. Plus, another edition of Chips Inhale: Reschew Rangers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
I had no money, no wife, no kids, and I really wanted to start a taco stand.
That was Hollywood native Kevin McCarney, reflecting on his start in the chain restaurant
industry in a 2009 interview with the LA Times.
McCarney, who once worked such specifically Hollywood jobs as doorman at Grauman's Chinese
Theater and tour guide at Universal Studios, was inspired to pursue
his dream of taqueria ownership by his numerous visits to Baja, California, a peninsular state in
Mexico that borders the U.S. to the north and the Pacific Ocean to the west. Baja, California,
whose name translates to Lower California, has been among the biggest influences on the cuisine
of the U.S. state of California, granting the Bear Republic dishes like the Caesar salad and
cocktails like the margarita, as well as an array of seafood tacos, tostadas, and ceviches. During his regular
south-of-the-border vacays, McCarney frequented a taco shop in San Felipe called La Bonita,
where he developed a taste for their shrimp tacos, and he even claims he gave the kitchen
the idea to serve the taco without breading, an anecdote that reeks of self-mythologizing.
But whether true or embellished,
McCarney achieved his restaurant ownership goal in 1984, opening his first eatery in a strip mall
in LA's Studio City neighborhood. Among his initial offerings was a version of La Bonita's
unbreaded shrimp taco, an item that remains on the menu today. And while his recipes may have
mostly been imported from south of the border, McCarney does deserve some credit for expanding
the parameters of Mexican food to non-Hispanic Angelenos, many of whose previous encounters with the cuisine consisted of cheese
enchiladas and hard-shell tacos. McCartney even went so far as to design his own tortilla press
so tortillas could be made fresh in each of his restaurants, an invention for which he holds the
patent. Today, his chain, whose name translates to A Little Bit More, is an LA institution with
11 locations in the City of Angels, including
one located on the Warner Brothers studio lot, a symbol of its popularity with Hollywood
power lunchers.
And McCarney himself now has money, a wife, and kids, perhaps all because he started that
taco stand.
This week on Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger alongside
my co-host, Donkey Kong wearing Diddy Kong's clothes
the Spoon Man
Mike Mitchell.
My clothes are tight like that?
Are you saying
because you got like
the baseball hat?
Oh, the baseball hat.
Yeah, you kind of
have a Diddy Kong vibe.
That was courtesy
of Forest Bowling.
If you have a roast
you'd like me to use
on Mitch at the top of the show
roastspoonman at gmail.com
as always is the address.
I've said this too much
and it's an embarrassing thing
to talk about
but Jack, Allison, and Evan Susser helped me when I made a character reel
for SNL at one point last year, and I played Don Kong.
Did you ever see this?
I do remember Don Kong.
This was the real guy who Donkey Kong was based off of.
Yeah, it was a funny bit.
I was shirtless, and I wore a red tie.
Yeah.
So I have dressed up as Donkey Kong before, literally.
And required no wardrobe except for a red tie to pull it off.
It's so weird that to think now, at SNL, they could have had, for a couple seasons now,
they could have a Don Kong character.
He could have been recurring.
It would be Wayne's World level.
I could have had a movie out, a Don Kong movie.
Well, their loss.
Yeah, their loss.
Big mistake.
Nick, how are you? I i'm doing okay the first episode of
2019 we're recording this in 2018 this is the dough boys has had a little bit of a hiatus
so to our listeners who are out without the boys for a couple of weeks yeah thanks for hanging with
us they probably are very mad if i had you're very mad we've by this point this episode is coming out
january 10th by this point we've gotten a lot of enraged comments on Reddit and on our Twitter.
But that's okay.
That's par for the course.
Nick, how was your New Year's and Christmas, I want to guess?
Stayed at home.
Did you see family?
No.
Were you visited by three spirits or no?
No. No. I'm saying like Scrooge by three spirits or no? No.
No.
I'm saying like Scrooge.
Like Jacob Marley?
Yes.
Oh, wait.
Scrooge gets visited by the spirits.
Yeah, Jacob Marley doesn't get visited by the spirits.
Jacob Marley's the good guy in that.
Yes.
Is he behind that?
No, Jacob Marley is his partner who's dead.
Wait, what?
Marley is his partner who's dead.
Who's the like...
Who's like fucked up kid's dad?
I'm the uneducated one now, huh?
Who's the kid who's got the limp?
Who's his dad?
That's Tiny Tim, and then his dad is...
Oh, shit.
Wait, is that...
Bob Cratchit.
Bob Cratchit.
I was right.
Okay, that's what it is.
Tiny Tim Cratchit.
Also, I referred to a kid with a disability as a fucked up kid.
That was probably...
That was inappropriate.
I apologize.
He just has a limp, for God's sakes. He just has a limp. that's fine uh i'm a big fan of the muppet christmas carol hanford always seen it hanford
always said that i'll remind him of the ghost of christmas present so if you've never seen it it's
not going to make sense to you but check it out sometime nick is it this next christmas this is a
like a big monstrous muppet like a big hairy monster of a Muppet. Is that what it is? You asshole.
Yeah, it's a big...
I gladly talk about it on here.
No, Hampern's nice to me. Wait, hold on.
I'm going to look this up. Ghost of Christmas Present.
Because also there's a... Muppets Christmas Carol, Ghost of Christmas
Present. It's also too, has anyone ever had...
Because a Christmas present is a
thing. So, I mean, that's like you can
have some fun with that. Oh, man. You should go...
I wish there was a time machine so you could tell Dickens
that. Shoot himself in the head.
Yeah. Let's see. Hold on.
The Ghost of Christmas. Oh, wait. I just looked it up
without Muppets. Yeah, you fool. So I'm just getting a bunch of generic.
Oh, this
guy. Yeah. He looks like one
of the crew from
The Hobbit. He's like a big bearded guy
with big rosy cheeks. He's got a little crown.
He looks like Barrel Hobbit. Right.
He looks like one of the guys who'd be riding down
those rapids in a barrel
and then he'd bust out with an axe and fuck up some
orcs. Nick, we've talked about...
First of all, I should get to my intro.
To Spoon Nation.
I'm embarrassed for the
guests to see it. You always are. I know.
No, there's some people I'm like, who gives a shit about
in front of this person? I don't care. So you're saying there's some of our guests you don it always. You always are. I know. No, there's some people I'm like, who gives a shit about it in front of this person? I don't care.
So you're saying there's some
of our guests you don't respect. Yeah, there's
some guests on here I don't respect at all.
I think it's insulting to a lot of people.
Okay. But they,
you're assuming that people will think, oh,
he's not talking about me. Yeah, no.
Do you know how insecure people are?
Every one of our guests who is hearing this
thinks you're talking about them.
Psst, it's Koala.
Okay, of course, Koala.
Koala knows I say stuff like this about him on the show.
Here's a little drop, Nick.
I was going to ask you about, because we've talked about the barrel ride being a ride.
It should be a ride.
It should be a ride.
That's fine.
The barrel chase from Hobbit 2, one of the best sequences of the 2010s.
It should be a ride. Nick, this. The Barrel Chase from Hobbit 2. One of the best sequences of the 2010s. It should be a ride.
Nick, this year...
It's a no-brainer.
...Nintendo Land is being built not far from my house right now.
Are you excited about Nintendo Land?
Is there a ride that you want to ride there?
Boy, I'm a little...
I mean, I'm excited, but I'm trying to remain...
What the fuck?
I'm trying to remain grounded because I don't want my expectations to get too high.
You know what I mean?
Because everyone's talking about this Mario Kart ride like it's going to be a game changer.
But what if it's just a good ride?
I don't want to be disappointed by that.
If it's a satisfying Mario Kart ride, I want to be able to go there and enjoy it on its own terms.
So I'm not trying to...
I just don't want to get so hyped for something and then have it be like,
Oh, well, this is just like Star Tours, but it's mario but it's still fun you know what i mean is there a
ride that you want to see that that hasn't been announced is there a certain thing that you want
a nintendogs ride or something no i don't need a nintendogs ride the defunct nintendo ds franchise
um you know what would be fun is uh some sort of thing some sort of zelda sort of thing where you
get to ride epona or some sort of some sort of horse thing uh involved in the zelda universe
because i feel like they have the horse riding mechanics down so well and they're so fun and if
they could figure out a way to translate that to the physical world that would be amazing you know
what i want from this place big harnesses let me ride this damn thing that's what i want look if you're gonna have a
mario kart ride it needs to accommodate a wario sized man i've never i that yes i agree with that
i've never got kicked off a ride we i've talked about it on here i finally came clean
that the hat that the harry potter ride i couldn't i couldn't get in it. It didn't go down all the way.
Right.
And they were like, you're supposed to be overworking as Hagrid right now.
What are you doing?
Never.
Never in my life.
Every other ride.
I've never had an issue.
This one Harry Potter ride, it flips you all around.
It should be built for Hagrid-sized people.
It absolutely should.
I agree.
If there's a character in that universe of a certain size, the ride should support that person.
Hmm.
That's a strange thing.
I think it's fair.
You got a Frankenstein ride?
It should support Frankenstein.
All right.
Here's a little drop, Nick.
Mitch, how are you?
I'm good.
How are you doing, Nick?
Looking good, Mitch.
You know, I'm going to work on it.
I'm going to give you a better Mitch.
You've slimmed down quite a bit.
You've been hitting the gym.
That was very nice.
Oh, thank you for saying that.
People say they get butterflies,
but butterflies are small feelings.
And you give me like eagles.
That was like a beautiful poetry,
what you just said.
You never fail to impress me.
I will take the compliment.
Nice to start the podcast with a little bit of positivity.
And start the year on a little bit of positivity.
That's very nice.
What is that quote from in there, the butterflies thing?
Does anyone know that? Our guest is shaking his head.
Our guest doesn't know. No one knows.
Emma?
I'm going to Google it.
I think it's from NotDoughboysAtXXXParody.
Hi Mitch, I made a drop I'm going to Google it. You're going to Google? Thank you. I think it's from NotDoughboys at XXXParody. Hi, Mitch.
I made a drop where you and Nick are very nice to each other.
I'm pretty sure everything came from the first episode of Doughboys.
It all went downhill from there, but that's why we love you.
Best Sarah Hansen at S-M-O-R-E-A-N.
Did I say that right?
Oh, God.
S-M-O-R-E-A-N. Did I say that right? Oh, God. S-M-O-R-E-A-N.
Yeah, on Instagram and Twitter.
Thanks, Sarah.
Oh, very cool.
I don't know if she wanted me to read that,
but Doughboy's fans got it now.
God bless.
I don't know what's going to happen.
I think people are sending in drops to your...
Give the drop email again.
Spoonmandrops at gmail.com. I almost said aol.com.
Because that's
your real email address. That's my real email address.
Which you actually use. That's not a bit.
You actually have an aol email address. Well, you know, use.
You have. It's the way
in theory to contact you via email.
Yeah, I think people who send stuff in to
spoonmandrops at gmail.com know the drill.
They know you're just going to not pre-screen it
and read whatever they write verbatim. So yeah i think they're fine with it mitch let's introduce
our guests we got a good one to start off the year a writer and producer from brooklyn 99
parkston wreck and late night with conan o'brien dan gore is here hi dan hi i said hi weird no it
was great you guys i am such i i don't want to inundate the the whole podcast with this but i am such a super fan it's incredible for me
to be even in this in mitch's place no that's that's the first time it's ever been said i'm
breathing it all very nice but insane it's it's exactly i say it's not quite exactly as i imagined
it it's even better your your view right now you were literally staring at a blank white wall
the way we position our guests between the two of us.
It did say a very nice, where he's like, that wall could use like a piece of art.
I agree.
Yeah, it absolutely should.
Just to cover the cracks.
It's a wall that like, when they bring someone in and they, what's it called?
Oh God, now my brain isn't working.
Interrogate them?
Interrogation room.
Thank you.
Oh yeah.
That's like the type of wall that makes someone break and say that they were a part of the crime.
It's just a blank wall.
And I think that maybe we should put something up there for a guest.
I think it should be a picture of me in a suit.
You've already got a picture of...
You've already got a foreshot of you that's on the wall in your apartment.
I didn't put that up, to be fair.
Yeah, but you live alone and you choose to leave it up there
i think it's i think it looks fucking great i think it's cool it looks like a cool piece of
pop art i think it you know what i put that in first place and then uh david the statue of david
second dan thank you for making time for us um a lot to discuss first up you are from maryland
originally but the dc area yeah uh we gotta talk crabs what are
you a crab fan do we have to yes we do it's kind of the signature i feel like it like you what's
what's the the state food i think everyone thinks of maryland having crabs yeah it is the state
crustacean wow there you go i think of the exorcist uh even though is that that's is that dc is that
yes the exorcist steps are DC.
Okay, are DC.
Okay, yeah.
But I thought they had crabs in it when you said that.
Is there a scene?
There's a crab walk.
She walks as a crab.
She walks as a crab.
Yeah, but that was in the director's cut.
That wasn't in the original theatrical release.
All right.
I didn't have crabs a lot as a kid.
I don't, I'm not exactly sure why.
My parents, we had, my parents, when I was growing up,
wrote books on weight loss and lowering cholesterol.
Whoa.
Wow.
So we had, we had almost the exact same meal every single night.
Yes.
Which was baked chicken, brown rice, a steamed vegetable,
a soup, and like a homemade bread.
It was a lot of stuff.
And then we would have a low-fat dessert and so much of it.
That's crazy, too, for the time period that this was in.
That's insane.
My dad worked at NIH on that big...
Do you remember when cholesterol...
You guys are a little younger than I,
but when cholesterol became a big thing in the mid-'80s?
I do remember that, yeah.
My dad had high cholesterol, and my entire life the mid 80s. I do remember that, yeah. My dad had high cholesterol
and my entire life was skim milk.
Yes.
And all that sort of stuff
and being afraid of heart health.
Egg whites.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, the egg was the enemy for a few years in there.
He had egg beaters constantly.
He had the little box of egg beaters.
My grandparents would have that powdered skim milk.
Did you ever have that? Oh, yeah it was really they were it was really disgusting my
great my grandfather had his first heart attack this is like such a bummer but he lived for a
long time yeah but he had a heart attack at 35 wow and so they're so young so young he had
yeah real cautionary tale that's that's in the mitch there's heart disease in the mitchell family
of course.
There's everything that's wrong with us.
But my dad was so concerned.
My father got cancer eventually.
But his whole life he was so concerned about heart health.
I wanted to say jokes on him.
But I think that's really horrible.
You idiot dad.
You could have enjoyed something fat.
I'm sure that if he
I mean, he was a healthy guy. I'm sure
that if he ate horribly,
it probably it probably would
have killed him. I think his
his dad died of a heart
attack. So I think that that was what it was. And then
his brother died of a heart attack at
36 at my age. So
yeah, and then but he had rheumatic fever
when he's younger. And then my other uncle also died of a heart attack.
Just drugs.
Oh my god.
I mean, we all still heard that.
I don't know why you whispered it.
I should edit that out.
You're talking into a microphone.
Some family members might be mad, but it was drugs.
You said it quieter, but you moved in closer.
Yeah, sorry.
I feel like that's a real bummer. not at all um yeah no so they wrote they wrote
a book called eater's choice a food lover's guide to cholesterol wow uh and then and then people who
were using that lost weight on it so then they wrote uh choose to lose which was a book a weight
loss book so we also very rarely went to fast food places, but there was one,
a place called Jerry's sub shop,
which now I think is only in a few gas stations around the DC area,
but they had a fantastic steak and cheese.
They had birch beer instead of they'd like Fanta birch beer,
which was great.
Yeah.
And we would go there.
I feel like even 25 years ago,
there were just fewer types of restaurants.
Sure.
Yeah.
So we would go there or Chinese food,
or there was like a prime rib place in town.
Yeah.
That's,
that's what you just heard right there is that,
that banging noise.
Yeah.
I'm not sure if that ambient noise was picked up on the mic.
That's,
that's the next door.
That's the next door apartment.
When they go into there,
when they drive down below their thing,
they,
they hit the metal, like a metal slab. It, I hear it all the time. It. When they go into there, when they drive down below their thing, they hit the metal, like
a metal slab.
I hear it all the time.
It is a loud, weird thing.
But I don't think we've ever got it during the podcast, which is insane.
Yeah.
All the street noise we've heard.
We haven't heard that particular one.
That was there's a lot of people usually yelling like stop recording your podcast.
There's protests outside the door, right?
That's that's that's where did you just leave off on
that because uh uh the the uh on what you were just saying i'm sorry you're eating at gas stations
yes so they weren't they were at malls now they're only they were great i really thought
they were great i was gonna say we we talk about this a lot just in massachusetts for me in in
growing up in the 80s chinese food was kind of like the the one the one food that was not like
american food right to your point of there were just there was just less types of food around yeah
yeah it was just like a classic american fair or whatever i feel like i remember when thai food hit
oh yeah yeah and now you go to like a very small town and there's they'll have sushi restaurants
they'll have everything yes right yeah it's absolutely like you know like we talked about
this a few episodes ago,
but yeah, just like sushi has gone from a thing
that was like this weird, like exotic food
to now it's just so mainstream.
It's at wall grades.
Culturally, I'm pretty offensive
the way that they used to portray sushi
of like a live fish and it being crazy.
Yeah, and it was like,
if you watch like that movie Gung Ho,
the Ron Howard movie,
which is about a Detroit car company that a Japanese company comes in and takes it over, and it's wildly offensive.
I don't know if they specifically reference sushi in that, but they do make fun of the Japanese guys for using chopsticks, and it's insane that that was like that recently in the 80s.
That was like a thing where it was like, what?
Like, what?
Use a fork, buddy. And I got to say this, that for a kid, this just shows you that it affects you.
Because I didn't want to eat sushi.
And then I knew it was raw fish.
And I would eat sushi and be like, this is crazy.
This is raw fish.
It's going to make me sick.
The first time I had sushi, I was probably even 12 or something.
I was probably older.
But it was that sort of thing where I was like, if not even 13 or something.
I was definitely like 13 or 14
the first time.
I had it under 10.
We went on a trip to Hawaii.
West Coast boys.
The first one I had
was a tamago.
It was an egg sushi.
Wow.
I actually loved it.
That actually became a,
because it's like this,
it's like the first time
I've ever had an egg
with a little bit of sweetness to it.
Yeah.
It's so fucking delightful. That's actually like, that's my've ever had an egg with a little bit of sweetness to it. Yeah. And it's so fucking delightful.
And that's actually my...
Sounds like an Easter bunny egg.
An egg with a little bit of sweetness to it?
No, I'm not talking about something from the movie Hop.
I'm talking about...
It's a very specific flavor.
And it's like a great either palate cleanser, sushi, or something that'll get the end of the meal.
I love it still to this day.
Nick, we were talking about
crabs being in The Exorcist.
Yes.
Just like in Marvel movies,
if you watch after the credits,
you see Pazuzu enter a crab
that's walking by on the street.
A little sea crab.
Yeah.
This was worth it.
Totally.
Pazuzu the demon from The Exorcist.
He flies into a little crab
that's walking by.
Yeah. It's supposed to set up a sequel. That never happens. Did you demon from The Exorcist He flies into a little crab that's walking by.
It's supposed to set up a sequel.
That never happens.
Did you go to The Exorcist?
Or is Georgetown too far away?
No, no.
Georgetown is right there.
I definitely did.
I mean, I am like David Phillips.
You know David Phillips.
Yes.
Good friend of ours.
DP.
We are both very scared of scary movies.
Yes.
So in the writer's room, he works on Brooklyn. Yeah,illips is like cowardly uh yeah he's a cowardly enough and i but that is something that should be
said with great admiration oh yeah i think cowards are survivors yeah sure i'm hey you're the host of
doughboys also cowards i could i characterize myself as a coward yeah but so i i didn't watch
the exorcist until way later and only because And only because I was like, I believe I was forced to.
Right.
We reviewed it on here.
Nick.
We reviewed it fairly recently.
At this point, there will be a double either that's already come out.
We're going to watch Gremlins.
Yes.
Did it come out or is it coming out?
Schedule wise, it, well, I mean, it can have come out.
All right.
Then it's just come out.
Okay.
Well, we're officially locking this in, this episode that we haven't even recorded yet, but we will have
a review of Gremlins and the Doughboys
Double that will have been out the Tuesday before this
episode. I'm afraid of you. I wonder if
you'll be afraid of the Gremlins, if that will be too scary
for you. I can handle scary
movies. No scary movie is too scary for
me, but scary video games
I cannot handle. Like, I just
like, I have to shut them off. No scary movie is
too scary for you? No, I can handle it. Like, I was too young to I have to shut them off. No scary movie is too scary for you?
No, I can handle it.
Like, I was too young
to watch certain things.
I was too young
to watch the movie Candyman
when I saw that
for the first time.
Yeah.
I was, like, 19.
But I was too young
to watch Candyman.
That's the one
that I remember
was just like,
oh, God,
this is affecting me.
But most scary movies,
I'm like,
as an adult,
I can take them in stride
because there's enough separation from that for me looking at it through a screen. You are. But playing it when I'm like, as an adult, I can take them in stride because there's enough separation from that for me, looking at it through a screen.
But playing it when I'm actually a character in the game and that character is in peril, that transfers to me and I am terrified.
I can't handle it at all.
That's a crazy thing to think of in the future, just the future of entertainment and VR headsets.
It's going to kill people.
It's going to kill people.
People are going to have heart attacks.
What games are too scary to play uh i the first time i remember bowser bowser freaks nick out
bowser in the original in the original super mario brothers that whole franchise the mario
parties are wild how is donkey kong based on a man named don kong what did he do he he he worked
in new york in the 70s i forget what it was he worked in new New York in the 70s. I forget what it was. He worked in New York
in the 70s and he owned like a barrel
shop and Shigeru
Miyamoto came in and he threw a
barrel at him or something. It's all mine.
This is true, right? This is all true.
I was just putting in there as like an informational
right and then it wasn't
even part of your character reel. You just wanted to learn
to know about the Don Kong origin.
I thought it was going to be a cross between don king and donkey kong oh i thought that's what the character that's that's he talks with like a new york accent right um i mean it does does
make you think of don king a little bit it does yeah yeah you're right you're right i mean it
makes sense that it was probably put into the trash. That may have been the issue. Or the digital trash. I was expecting a Don King impression.
All right.
Wow, that was your Lorne impression.
Did I get SNL?
It was perfect.
Oh, great.
All right.
Wow, you and Armin both have played Lorne now.
Armin was in the...
What's it called?
One of the late war...
It was...
No, no.
Animal House movie.
Yes, yes, yes.
A clear and futile gesture or whatever it is.
Oh, no.
This is bad to not remember.
We should know the name of the movie our friend is in.
A clear...
Something...
No.
More than one of our friends.
Doughboy's guests have been in this movie. A simple and futile gesture right the one with forte yes a simple and
futile i think that's the i think that's one of the harrison ford uh tom clancy movies actually
oh boy uh yeah we get a few dollars stupid. I think that's it. Oh, that's what it is. A futile and stupid gesture.
Took a few tries.
So just to be clear, Donkey Kong is not actually based on Donkey Kong.
Like a fool, I believe the backstory.
Wow.
Wow.
So do you think that that happened at the SNL audition?
That they were like...
They probably just was like, this is interesting, and then threw it away.
This is just...
These are just facts I could look up on Wikipedia.
I feel
really dumb, and dumber for having pointed
it out. Right. Well, Mario, though,
you shouldn't feel bad at all after hearing
Nick's Lorne impression.
Now that's based
on the actual Lorne.
Or are you doing a Dr. Evil right now?
I'm doing like the guy,
like the New York barrel factory worker
who Lorne was based on.
So Mario is based on a real guy
though, and that real guy died recently.
Passed away recently. A very private man.
But he was the owner of
the property, I believe, that
the Nintendo of America headquarters were located in
up in Washington State.
Nick, I want to talk about this, but it's almost a mean-spirited thing that happened.
I don't even know if I want the...
You can say it, and we can edit it out if it's too mean-spirited.
Okay.
Is it about me?
I don't know if you had any hand in it, but it's about the guy who does the voice for Mario.
Oh, yes.
Did you have anything to do with that or no?
I was not involved with this guy at all.
I've never met him.
Okay.
What is that guy's name?
Why can't I remember it?
Is it Don or something?
Hold on.
This used to be a thing I could recall like that,
and my brain has just atrophied.
Who the fuck is the voice of Mario?
I think it was maybe Bugman.
Charles Martinet.
Charles Martinet.
And they called him up and said,
they pretended to be an agency,
and said that we want to do the wario movie or we
want to do the mario someone prank called charles martinette yes one of what someone in our circle
of friends i was not involved in this and said we want to do the wario or mario right and he they
and he was excited yeah of course he was excited they're telling a guy i know i think they're
gonna make a movie using him now they are doing the mario movie so good for i'm sure that he's
gonna do the voice for it.
Are you sure?
He probably hung up on them when they called him.
Yeah.
He's like, yeah, fuck you.
I've been asked before.
From the producers of Despicable Me, yeah, right.
Like the crew response for Bob, Kevin, Stuart, and the gang would possibly do a Mario movie.
Are you nervous about that Mario movie, Nick?
Or no, I think you think it's in the best hands it could be in.
It's going to be interesting
to see what choice they make.
I think we'll know
from the teaser
if it's going to succeed
and I think it will,
if the teaser has Mario
making like a quip
or making like a joke,
then it's going to be like,
I don't know,
but if it just has Mario
going like,
woohoo,
yeah,
if it just has Mario
doing Mario sounds.
This, by the way,
for the listener,
this is terrifying to say.
If it just has Mario doing Mario sounds. By the way, for the listener, this is terrifying to see. If it just has Mario doing Mario sounds,
the way they characterize him in the game,
he's kind of pseudo-mute,
then I think that will be a strong indicator
that it might succeed.
So for you, Illumination is a step above
Paul Thomas Anderson.
Illumination, PTA,
and then like
Prime Fincher.
I think that would
kind of be my top three.
Yeah, I actually had
a meeting with Illumination
a while ago
and never went anywhere,
but it was a thrill
to be over there.
I just went in there
and I just fanboyed
all over.
Now you know how I feel.
Yeah.
This is my Illumination.
So, beyond feel yeah this is my illumination um so uh beyond uh beyond growing up in dc beyond maryland you have some food service experience you were telling at the restaurant you uh at the restaurant we ate
at today you worked at a place called mr bartlett's burgers mr bartley's burgers bartley's burgers
i think it was officially there had two names one was mr bartley's burgers and the other was mr and missy mrs bartley's burgers and salads oh interesting so i don't
know if it started as mr bartley's burgers then he got married and she was like we should have
some salads i also don't know that that's what she sounded like right i think she did
they it was uh it was like a really great burger joint juicy pressed uh burgers you know
not the kind sometimes i put a cup over them and they flake up these were pressed down i like that
that's like a seven ounce burger and they would have like funny names for some of their salads
and burgers they had the dukakis was a small greek salad oh that's cute that's funny i think
it was actually said in bad spirits oh boy
they were not fans i don't know i actually don't i don't want to impugn them but i do think they
might not have been there was a guy i was the cashier yes and uh so a lot of my job was just
checking the checks to make sure that the waitresses and waiters hadn't miscalculated
and then next to me was the sandwich station and there was a guy who worked there and he was,
uh,
he would like go clubbing at night.
And he was like,
he was,
uh,
he was kind of big personality.
And one day I walked in and where he had normally stood,
there was just a chalk outline of two feet.
Whoa.
And I was like,
what happened?
And they were like,
Roy went out all night last night and then he fell
asleep standing on his feet we drew chalk outlines around his feet and woke him up and fired him
oh my god and so there were just these feet that's like such a fun story like we drew
chalk outlines around his feet oh that's fun and then we fired him oh no that's a cute little
no right gone then we killed him.
That's crazy.
That's insane. Did those chalk outlines remain for a while, or they were just sort of like...
Yeah, they were like a sad...
It was like poetic as they slowly got wiped away by the feet of his successor.
Wow.
And his memory disappeared from Mr. and Mrs. Bartley's burgers and salads.
I should put a chalk line of you against the wall there, Nick.
A wishful thinking?
Yeah, or I'll just wait until I put the real chalk line of you against the wall there, Nick. A wishful thinking?
Yeah, or I'll just wait until I put the real chalk line of you on the ground.
Either way, you're envisioning me dying in your apartment in Palmerston.
Yeah, at some point.
God, what a nightmare.
Neither of us have fallen asleep during the podcast yet, so that's a plus.
I mean, I think a lot of listeners have.
I think it's a very common sleep aid.
That's terrifying to think of people falling asleep to this.
Right.
And waking up to like, what the fuck?
And you being like, minions aren't, whatever, whatever dumb shit we're talking about.
I had a nightmare about two chubby idiots yelling at me.
Minions are strong.
That's what they wake up to.
Us arguing over, oh, now you have to think about this for real. I mean, I think probably for their body
weight, they're pretty strong. I think they kind of add
strength. Yeah, I think they're pretty strong.
That makes sense. Yeah. Now you
turned it into a real thing. You loser. I don't
care if minions are strong. All right, but they're probably strong
though.
I know you don't care, but I'm just saying they probably
are. In fact, you can probably
point to some scenes in the movies
where they demonstrate their strength.
Jesus.
All right, we'll make it a double at some point.
Okay.
Minion strength scenes.
Wait, hold on.
I'm looking.
Our Patreon just got canceled.
They don't usually have a policy of doing that.
They shut us down.
Too much money.
After one year to start one of our Patreon episodes is about Minion strength.
That sounds about right.
I had to guess what a year in would be.
So how long were you at Mr. Bartley's burgers and salads?
It was a summer job.
Just a summer job.
Yeah.
And just working the cashier.
What's that?
I was going to ask you what your...
Do you have any summer jobs?
Did you have any...
We've discussed this before.
I worked at the UCLA library. i worked at the campus library for
actually i said library i meant bookstore i worked the campus bookstore i was thinking library because
there was a textbook store but that's where i worked i worked there for a summer and change
and i got fired eventually for what um they just had hired too many people and i was not friendly
so that was find your own book yeah in a sensible customer people and I was not friendly. Find your own book.
In a sensible customer service position
it was not an asset. When people would
buy books from you, all the pages were stuck together.
Is that true? You think I was cranking it
to biology textbooks?
Just flip into a random page
and a physics text, reading about a Copernicus
and then blowing a load?
Yes. What is this
idea you have of me yes you're reading bland text
was it was this a cop was this were you were you when were you working there was this college or
high school or college college that's a good that's it seems like a fun it was great i was
eating there all the time anyway and so then it was just free free whatever i wanted what a dream
it was a dream it was i i would have two hamburgers a day and then maybe to be
healthy like a half of a chicken wow and none of the salad when they added the salad you didn't go
with any of the salad yeah it's a weird thing it's a weird thing to promote salad on there i guess
it's good to know they have it and maybe you'll be like oh it's it must be good if it's on the
sign or something but i never ever see that i never see a place saying like whatever and salads unless it is like a specific salad place i think salads people like the salads they
were real salads yeah i mean we are this is a place that i haven't been to in 22 years is it
still open i think it is yeah oh wow that's amazing yeah that's cool yeah that's really
cool hey you know listeners out there if you have some sort sort of occupation you worked for just this summer growing up or
at some point maybe in your college
years, hashtag summer job.
And if you
didn't like it,
hashtag bummer job.
Oh, okay. There we go.
That's a setup.
I tried to take it somewhere instead of just being very, very
on the nose. I told you I worked
on a garbage truck. That's right. And I saw Tom Brady running the beach in Wollaston a couple times.
And now you work on a metaphorical garbage truck.
What did you do on the garbage truck?
It was a city garbage truck.
So basically, we used to start at 8 a.m.
And how old were you?
I was in college.
This was my sophomore year of college when i did it
and you were sorry riding on the back i was riding on the back yeah and i would ride through south
boston on the back of a garbage truck it was a real uh the dream it was a real boston it was a
boston movie but not nothing interesting was happening besides that right they were like uh
they were like uh hey mitchell's right on the back of the truck uh install a more powerful engine yes a garbage truck that people throw couches into
needed a more powerful engine to carry me yeah that's what i was saying they were weighted
they were like weighted barrels it was because it was mostly we would go to parks and we get
we would get all the trash from the parks and stuff. And, uh, I've, I've,
I think I've told this story on here,
but we,
we would go to the beach in South Boston and we were in,
you just roll the barrels over and you and the other guy left it up.
I was the guy who always went and got it.
Cause the other guy was this guy who was a nice guy,
but he was older.
And he was also,
you know,
he,
he was like not all there,
I guess.
Cause he,
right.
He would like go through the trash and stuff.
And he'd be like,
and he'd be like,
he'd be like,
look at this and he'd find stuff in the trash.
And I'd be like, oh, cool.
That was kind of how the day went.
Yeah.
And then we went in.
There's a place called Sullivan's in South Boston.
And we would get our food there.
They would give us food for taking their trash, which I probably shouldn't say.
But who cares?
And yeah, you would go around and just get crash from everywhere but i remember
my first day in boston in south boston picking up a bag of trash and i went and i got pricked
in my leg and i was like oh and they were like you can't wear shorts like yeah people throw
stuff in that trash and i was like oh this sucks that was my first my literal first day on a
garbage truck god that's brutal and i never, I never went to a doctor since then.
Boy, all that barrel talk you were throwing out there made me think of Don Kong.
I'm telling you, it was a perfect character.
Yeah, I would throw the barrels back after we were done.
I know the barrels were very heavy.
You couldn't throw them.
It was impossible.
Don Kong could.
Don Kong probably could.
You were about to say something, Dan.
I had a summer...
So where I grew up was a block away from the National Institutes of Health.
And so a lot of kids, their summer jobs were working in labs.
And I worked in a lab where we did research on platelets.
And so I would have to get blood bags these bags full of platelets and uh
then i'd have to inject them in something and i pricked myself once and that was oh my god
sort of scary terrifying with like a with like toxic waste with like no no this was like no it
was like uh the syringe had touched this these people were all screened right uh but i was
obviously incredibly scared oh god yeah
that's crazy did you ever sorry go on i was gonna say no matter what that's the thing you never
i've never told anyone did you uh like like you were working with platelets did you ever donate
platelets no it's crazy how you donate platelets is that what you're gonna talk about i've done
it a few times yeah i used to i actually did it in college. If you, uh, it's the coolest thing.
Yeah.
It's, but it's like, it's a process.
They have, they basically take all the blood out of your body and spin it down and spin
it down and then put it back in and then put it back in.
So you're like, you're like, it's like a, and it's like a three hour process.
So it would go there.
Yeah.
I should have fucking left you empty.
You know what?
They forgot to put my blood back in.
I was still fine.
Yeah.
Didn't bat an eye.
Uh, no, I was there and, and, uh, uh, you know, so I would put my blood back in i was still fun yeah didn't bat an eye uh no i was there and and uh uh you know so i would just i would just be sitting there and you're just lying
motionless they're draining the blood out of your body and while also putting it back in through i
think the other arm or the same arm i don't remember exactly like it's the other arm might
be the other arm and this this was this was like 20 years ago at this point uh and um and uh and
you know i just like watched like a VHS movie.
So I watched like Jurassic Park 3
and what's the man on the moon?
I watched like all these movies
while I was donating platelets
but the reason I stopped doing it
was because twice in a row
and I don't know if it was the nurse's mistake
or I twitched but something happened
where I got what's called an intrusion
where the needle-
Everyone at the table is so
grossed out. I can't stand blood. Okay.
The needle slides out of your vein.
The one that's putting the blood back in your body
slides out of your vein and then just goes
into the muscle and you don't realize it at first and
all the blood just starts going directly
into your muscle and your arm like swells up with
like a big purple knot in your elbow
joint. Nick, every person here,
Dan, Emma,
and Yu Song, all were just like shaking
their head and putting their hands over their heads.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was that gristly.
There's that sculptor who makes
sculpture. He ices his blood
and then he makes sculptures out of them. Have you ever seen that? No.
To look at that, don't Google it.
You just do not Google artists.
Nick is Googling it right now. Ice blood artist
makes sculpture out of own iceblood.
And there's now a bulge in the spam.
You know what?
This is where, and this might be my personalized searches,
but it's bringing up actually a Magic the Gathering card.
I think that one over there.
Fucking dork.
Okay, this is the one.
Oh, this is one of them?
I think.
It doesn't look very red.
Usually it's-
He doesn't want to look at it, Nick.
I'm sorry, yeah.
Now I feel like I've misled you no i i mean the ones i've seen is i've seen
the the one that that what's it's the cover of uh metallica's polarizing album load and it's a
it's a an artist created a a painting out of his blood and semen mixed together and it kind of
looks like and you know it's one it's a thing where like um of course you love the album load when they when they ask i don't love the album load uh but the uh they they like they
like asked metallica why they put it on there and they were just like it's cool it looks like flames
like they had that was just like a very surface level okay this is the thing it looks like a man's
like desiccated like like wow that's fucked up bleed himself and then it's just what if i pricked
myself with your platelet blood oh man that would be crazy you probably have something as i guess did you uh
did your personality start to disappear did you become less charismatic and less hireable um
yeah it's uh that was a that was a crazy process i felt like i was doing some good and then i just
had that happen a couple times i just like this was so painful i don't want this to
infiltration it was called did you ever look at intrusions way cooler
yeah did you how much can i ask how much you got paid was it did it wasn't for money it was just
like a i would get uh free movie passes but you didn't get they didn't have direct cash
compensation but at the time i get like two free movie passes and i get to watch a movie uh for
donating and it was just like oh i get to go see a movie for free two movies. I think you told me that myself
the like giving the blood platelets
that you said that was like the most fun you had in college.
I was up there
to the that are playing
Smash Brothers by myself.
The multiplayer
game. Yeah, known as a multiplayer
game. I'm playing it solo mode.
This is the N64 version.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I i'm gonna say gamecube
version hadn't come out yet and that came out late that came out like a 10 years or so later
no it was a few years later i was still in college when that one came out nick did you
ever see on the lab coat dr nosferatu i think a dracula was stealing my blood via this platelet
thing it's a possibility yeah it seems like they didn't know what they were doing.
I don't want to impugn the nursing staff there.
It's possible at UCLA Medical Center
that it was my fault.
We should talk about crabs because
we should go back to my great joke
about Pazuzu going into a crab.
Yeah, that was good.
Maybe we'll save that for later.
Maybe his claw spun around or something. Maybe that that for later. Maybe I think it'd be like maybe it's like claws spun around or something.
Maybe that could be an element. I mean, I think
it's right for itself.
Are you a crab fan?
Yeah, I do like
crabs. So my wife is also from Bethesda,
Maryland, and we met in junior
high school and her family ate crabs.
So I would occasionally have crabs
with her family and they're great. There are a lot
of work. So I get really sick of them
really quickly but like once every
seven years
it's eatable
you're talking like the Maryland blue crabs
by the way, my wife and I met in middle school
really?
we didn't start dating until after college
my wife and I didn't start dating until after college
isn't that wild how that happens?
but you have a shared upbringing, You have a lot in common.
I think it's a more common connection than people realize.
Now, we kind of had a crush on one another from the time we were about 16 on.
That we would talk about but not act on.
Did you have any sort of...
Some unrequited sort of like, I'd be...
Yeah, definitely.
Of course that's an element of it.
Because you reconnect with someone in adulthood and it's like,
oh, this is someone I always
thought would be cool to hang out with.
And then it ends up being true.
Damn, poor Natalie.
She knew you since middle school?
It was a really sweet story, I've got to say.
I mean, also my story.
I'm not saying it was a sweet story for you.
For both of us.
It is a sweet story.
Nick, you know I love Natalie.
She likes you more than me.
He's weird. My parents met and got married in two weeks. Whoa! For both of us. It is a sweet story. Nick, you know I love Natalie. She likes you more than me. Weird.
My parents met and got married in two weeks.
Whoa.
Full on married.
Wow.
And they're still married.
It seems like a different generation.
Definitely a different generation.
I think there were reasons you wanted to get married.
It feels like when you watch the old...
I watched Dracula. Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Yes.
I watched it for the first time this year.
I liked it a lot.
It's a crazy movie.
And I guess a crazy story.
But it is that sort of thing of back, the whole story is like, I'm going to marry one of these four men who are courting me.
And I have chosen to marry this one.
And they get married.
like these four men who are courting me and I have chosen to marry this one and they get married.
It's a weird thing that like I think in back in the day within a short
period of time, people would just get they get married.
You understand that Dan's parents are not as old as Bram Stoker's Dracula,
right?
I don't think his parents are as old as Bram Stoker's Dracula.
That was that.
I mean, you didn't choose like a sitcom from the 50s or something.
I should have chose a sitcom from the 60s or 50s
or something okay but i'm saying just back in the day you would court someone it would happen
right it seems easy i wish it was still that way it can be it can be maybe i think also that was
like partly because of the way society was a little more patriarchal right yeah like a little
like the women maybe it's a good thing for god sake. I'm just saying it would be good to have that taken care of.
Right.
It would be nice to be married and not have to worry about it.
Mitch, you have women falling over themselves.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
To make a connection with you.
And you just won't let anybody in.
That's the issue.
What the hell is this shit?
You have women who would love to be Mrs. Mitchell.
You have many, many women who would be interested.
The only Mrs. Mitchell is one, my mom, two, Irma.
Irma is the real Mrs. Mitchell.
She answers to that.
And she will walk on two feet.
And maybe she's possessed by Pazuzu.
Oh, God.
All right, now we're saying Pazuzu.
Just because he's from where Georgetown, from Maryland.
Doesn't mean we have to say Pazuzu.
I don't want to say the name anymore.
You're humorless about ghosts and the safety of your cats.
I just merged the two of them.
It's true.
So a crab fan, it's a once in a blue moon sort of thing for you because it's
just so much work do you what do you have like how do you prepare it or how do you are you an
old bay guy do you have any sauces yeah uh i like old bay vinegar is good oh yeah vinegar right um
i love vinegar in general huge fan of it so great i go through uh periods of time where i'll not
very frequently but where i'll dip french fries in vinegar. Oh yeah, that actually works out great.
The old English way, is that what I say?
Oh my goodness.
Wow, that was spot on.
That's all I got. Goodbye, cheerio.
Oh no, don't leave.
Hmm, I liked his English character.
It was very specific.
The fish and chips
in vinegar is a great comment.'s great up on it yeah absolutely
yeah you did and you can generalize it you're right because that's the only context in which
i'll dip fries and vinegar but why limit yourself you can do that at any time it's it's true it's
true i actually don't have a bottle of vinegar in my house which is something that lasts for
the it lasts for a very long time right it's so much i feel like it's better than having ketchup laying around. I should get a bottle
of every kitchen deserves a bottle of
vinegar. I feel like you could have both. It's true.
Yeah, Mitch, you can have condiments
in your home.
Have you done? I mean, obviously you have. This is
a stupid way to ask, but
the Belgian people, maybe
maybe a Belgian person will come by and visit now.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh,
oh, boy. maybe a belgian person will come by and visit now yeah yeah well for sure oh uh oh boy oh boy help me out nick it's like a it's like they speak french right it's like a french
accent i could not there's no way i could do uh is inspector cluso is that oh yeah that's pretty
good yeah that's that's in the ballpark anyway they dip it in mayonnaise i think yes and that's
also good i do that all the time.
Yeah.
There's actually a restaurant in Williamsburg, Brooklyn,
which is a, I know an obnoxiously hipster, gentrified area now,
but there is a restaurant that's really good there called Diner,
and they have like a house-made mayo that they serve with their fries,
and it is like a top five dip in sauce all time for me
like anytime i go there i get those house mayo it's so so i don't normally like mayo i like it
in this context and then i will say thanks to you guys i went to top round got that incredible
chicken sandwich oh hell yeah and they've got mayo on it and usually i would scrape it off
right i'd be like infuriated i'd be like they didn't say there was gonna be mayo and then it's
great on that sandwich yeah jordan morris went to that top round did not like the chicken sandwich he told me i
thought i thought that the chicken sandwich was great and did you get did you get the concrete
at all i did not i went with my two daughters and i felt like it was too much of a treat for them
yeah sure sound like a jerk but i mean it was uh it was like the wrong time of day it's one of
those concretes is like 1200 calories it's insane yeah it looks amazing jordan loved the concrete yeah
he loved the concrete it must be interesting to be a parent because you have to like demonstrate
self-control which is something that i'm just not like familiar with like i just like i'm like
like oh i want the concrete i'm gonna get that concrete i don't have to like you know
and have to teach this value to another generation or anything like that.
Yeah.
Right.
We can teach them about disappointment.
You can get in front of them.
I'm,
I'm not my family.
We eat my growing up family.
Right.
How would you,
whatever the family with whom my family,
um,
we would eat very quickly.
Oh,
and like with no restraint.
Right.
And when my wife came over to my house for the first time and my parents, they were like,
my mom said, you should eat quickly if you want to eat dinner.
Wow.
She wasn't like everyone else, be kind.
Yes.
Eat slowly.
And so I have modeled that behavior to my daughters.
And my wife is like, this is horrible what you've done.
Like one of my daughters will literally pick a plate up and like shovel the food into her mouth which i really respect yes and i but it's because of me
is it because like that you get it done quick and then you're off to other things or
we just i there's like an animalistic aspect to it i don't know it was i my parents were both
older siblings so i don't think it was like a younger sibling
need, but I mean, my parents eat still faster than I, and my brother eats faster than I
am.
I mean, my brother eats so quickly.
One time we were at this sushi restaurant, um, Nishimura.
Did you ever go there?
It's closed now.
It was great.
I've never been there.
And we, my brother's a big sushi fan and we went and my brother wanted to get omakase,
which is where the chef gives you the pieces.
And they were like,
we don't have time for that.
So my brother said,
okay,
then we'll have two of everything.
Wow.
Which was in like kind of a baller move.
Yes.
Um,
and they would serve these things on there.
They're like,
they had a surfboard theme,
right?
So a surf,
they brought out a surfboard after a really long time,
like a four foot long surfboard. And it just had pieces of sushi lining it.
And there was this little French family eating next to us.
And my brother and I finished eating the sushi in like six minutes, tops.
And we just heard this little French girl go,
Mama, ils ont fini?
But that was like, my brother
is an amazing eater, so.
Hey, that Belgian accent we were
looking for finally emerged in the
course of that story. The little French
girl. She was doing a
Belgian impression.
We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Doughboys.
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Let's-a go!
Lucy is upping the nicotine pouch game with breakers.
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Mitch, one of the relationships I'm proudest of in my life is with my buddy, the spoon man.
Wow.
And you know what?
A common misconception about relationships is they have to be easy to be right.
Between you and I, I don't think so.
Yeah.
But sometimes the best ones happen with both people put in the work to make them great.
Therapy can be a place to work through the challenges you face in all of your relationships, Sometimes the best ones happen with both people put in the work to make them great.
Therapy can be a place to work through the challenges you face in all of your relationships,
whether with friends, work, your significant other, or anyone.
Well, you know, I always feel like a better person when I'm in therapy.
I get the gunk out of my head.
My anxieties go down.
I'm feeling good.
And you know what?
I'm doing good.
You sure are, buddy.
I do good.
It's great.
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Welcome back to Doughboys here with Dan Gore, this week's chain poketo moss now dan you're
someone who works in you've worked in tv writing for a long long time now amassed a wealth of very
very impressive credits worked on some awesome shows uh including the one you're on now uh uh
the one you uh you uh you created and uh the uh poketo moss is well let, let's just take a step back for a second.
That writer's rooms, like the sort of TV industry, a lot of times there is a lunch order or a dinner order that is put in so people can kind of work through that meal and sort of keep at it under a deadline.
So, okay.
So we have a crazy, has Phillips told you about this?
Yeah, David Phillips has told us a little bit about.
So we have this crazy lunch situation.
So basically, like I've been on the same lot for 10 years.
And I'm so sick.
Is it CBS Radford?
CBS Radford.
And I'm so sick.
A great lot, by the way.
A great lot.
Great access to a lot of food.
You can go over the hill very easily.
And I feel very bad for the PA who takes the order.
Because it's like, he would come in and he would say, hey, how about we go to Artist
and Cheese Shop?
A great place.
A totally great place.
I've been there before.
And you would just see like my whole face fall.
Yeah.
And I'd be like, okay.
And I mean, it was like a thing.
And then he'd be like, fuck, now I have to find another place.
Right.
So we came up with a system for choosing restaurants that is so incredibly complicated.
It basically, it starts with, we have a, do you want to hear about it so we have a hopper like a lottery ball hopper inside of which
is uh uh a bunch of ping pong balls each of which has a one of the writers initials on them so
there's 16 ping pong balls in it that and writers pas writers assistants right a person raffles i'll get to how
that person gets chosen picks out a ball that person whom they select so let's say i get selected
i go up now we have a wheel of fortune style wheel which has something like 12 different wedges on it
each wedge there are like eight restaurants there's a win the pot which we'll get back to
there's a um uh erase and and
write another restaurant because all the restaurants are written in all right right you spin let's say
you spin and you get uh um firehouse subs uh-huh um if if everyone wants to go great that's it
you move on menus come out you have fire. Most likely, somebody doesn't want it. They can veto.
Oh, wow.
The first veto is $1 towards the veto pot.
Okay.
Now, let's say I pick Firehouse Subs.
I'm a big fan of Firehouse Subs.
Me too.
The Engineer is great.
I don't know if you've had it.
I totally recommend it.
I don't know what's in the Engineer off the top of my head, but I may have had it when we reviewed it.
Is this based on the movie Prometheus, the Engineer sandwich?
Yes.
It's based on the myth of Prometheus, the engineer sandwich? Yes. Based on the myth of Prometheus.
Okay.
So then to veto the veto to keep the place is $2.
Okay.
Wow.
Now the vetoes go up exponentially.
So to veto the veto of the veto is four, then eight, then 16, then 32.
Now let's say you veto my firehouse subs, and I don't veto the veto.
Nobody vetoes the veto.
You then get to come up and spin the spinner.
Okay.
Whatever place you go to can now be vetoed for $2,
or you might get a different thing which says spinner's choice.
Then you have to choose a thing,
which is actually like a punishment because it's the worst thing in the world.
Right.
There's another one.
Because people get mad at you.
Wait, because you just choose. Because you hate it's like it's all the pressure so much
pressure yeah there's another one the name of which i'm blanking on which sends you to a second
raffling system dear god that's what happened today okay you spin that that has something like
76 balls in it each of which is assigned to a different restaurant in the Los Angeles area,
and you are locked in. There's no vetoing that. You can only win the pot on the first spin.
After that, it just locks in. So there's been examples where somebody spent $32
in order to veto and veto and veto, and then they'll land on the lock.
And it's like in Wheel of Fortune when you get, know um the pot i'm looking at my pictures i took a picture of this today the pot is now up to and
this is just from people throwing in veto money throwing in veto money and it never gets that high
right carl tart friend of the show yeah yeah carl carl tart is a spender he likes to spend and he i think may have once spent 32 or 64 dollars
to keep five guys wow so the pot is currently at 544 oh my god that's insane what's gonna happen
with the money also good on you carl five guys is a solid choice oh yeah big fan um what's gonna
happen to the money we don't the real question is what's going to happen if no one lands on the veto.
Right.
On the veto pot.
There are some talk that we will start going in a circle.
Now, Phillips never vetoed.
So there's a chance Phillips, schmuck, could win the veto pot without having put a dollar in.
What an asshole.
Total asshole.
Asshole move.
Is he being magnanimous?
Like, I'm not going to veto anyone's choice
or he's just being cheap no to be magnanimous would be also to say like i think you know i
think that's a good choice for everybody right he said he's like no i don't like that place oh okay
but he's not gonna willing but he's not money in for he's a coaxer he's coaxing people on those
fucking deli boys deli boys they're good yeah he wants everyone else's money i mean i don't want
to say it's a can i can i can i can i pitch something for this game yes um it within that when you get locked into stuff you should
get locked into bad stuff there should be like a we only get to eat broth for lunch well effectively
there is because somebody will put like a photo a place on or something and it'll be summer and
you're like what the fuck are you doing at one point we had three firehouse subs on three different wedges which really pissed everybody off um and then
the other crazy thing is on wednesdays we do walk away wednesday where we have giant playing cards
that have like they're from dave and buster's yes somebody dr dave and buster's playing cards so
that each one has a picture of a different writer on it. They get shuffled and then dealt into four groups.
The groups, there are four people.
There's a leader.
There is a person who's supposed to come up with conversation topics.
There's a recapper and a judge.
People go out and they have lunch for one hour and then they come back.
And then there is a recapping session and a judging session.
The only stakes are pride.
But people have gotten mobile escape rooms.
Somebody got a limo, and they went down to Hollywood Boulevard and back.
I mean, there are people who go, and they do not have lunch.
Wow.
Just to prove a point.
No, there's no time for lunch.
Right.
It sounds almost like a like getting
your lunch process sounds like a jury duty or like yeah right it seems like it takes half the
it is does it take a half the day uh if my wife is listening i'd like to say it does not
it is like jury duty in that it is it's miserable no one enjoys any part of it it is not fun
at all so the other It's very hard.
It's a very, I can't relate.
I can't relate to this more because I was the food. I know.
I can imagine.
I was the food PA at the Simpsons.
Well, yeah.
Having to make a decision for an entire group of people that everyone's going to be not upset with is very difficult.
It was basically 30 people.
And also, it's been at the Fox Lab for 30 years.
So everything, they've done everything,
and even the closest place you can,
I mean, the furthest place you can think of,
they've done it.
They've gotten everything from everywhere.
If you worked on, say, The Simpsons since season nine,
and you've been there for over 20 years at this point,
or going on 20 years at this point, right?
They're not at season three yet.
Then, yeah, you've gotten very accustomed
to the local food, and you're probably sick and tired of it. I i've gotten into rooms being like here's where we're going for lunch and then have
like an entire room who because another room made the decision an entire room being like oh
like mad at me yeah right and i'm like this is fucking sometimes i'll say ask the other room
what they want if we're in two rooms but then and then they'll come back and then i'll be like
fuck this no we can't have this it's such a a crazy thing for an office built to try to manage to get lunch for 20 people.
It's terrible.
By the way, I wonder how many of our listeners are like, I brought a PB&J and some ruffles
that I'm eating in my cubicle.
You're fucking having a raffle about which restaurant you're going to have delivered
to you.
Writer's rooms in Hollywood the a plus side is you get
you get lunch right but then it is that sort of thing of no everyone is mad at it long hours but
but you are compensated in food and and i i do think that that the um i mean obviously people
are spending money doing and this is infrequent things like the the limo it's stuff like that
but the writers room lunch is also the amount of money we are given for lunch has dropped precipitously every year so that most writer's rooms it's like i'm gonna again this is
not terrible but like 12 for a lunch per person right it's not like i know it sounds like we can
go to any restaurant in los angeles but it's not like we're going to morton's or something like
that 12 yeah it doesn't get you what it once did yeah i mean that's like that's like you can you
talk about firehouse subs i feel like you get a fire out you it once did. I mean, that's like, you're talking about Firehouse Subs.
I feel like you get a combo at Firehouse Subs that's $12.
Yeah.
By the way, the engineer, I looked it up, that's that hot turkey in Swiss.
Yeah.
That sandwich is a winner.
I've had that.
It's great.
It's delicious.
God, there's a Firehouse Subs in Santa Monica.
It's so close to me now.
I just want to go all the time.
It's so good.
Did you move?
No, I'm still in Santa Monica.
They opened new firehouse subs right next to the El Pollo Loco.
It's so close.
I can walk there.
I've never seen where you live before.
I don't know.
I can't even imagine.
You might live on the ocean.
I have no idea.
I don't live on the ocean.
I don't know.
We have an apartment we're very happy with by the train station.
But it's not ocean adjacent.
I feel like it would be good if you could just walk right into the ocean
like you've always wanted to.
No, I'm going to walk in front of a train
like my great-great-grandfather
actually did.
That's true. Have you told that story on here?
I think I've told that story on the podcast, yeah.
I haven't heard it. What happened?
The short of it is that my great-great-grandfather
went to a political rally and was very distraught afterwards uh and then uh
he was a war veteran i don't remember exactly he fought for the confederacy he didn't fight
for the confederacy come on and if he did he was a bad man uh but this was this was in missouri i
think in the 19th century and then he was so distraught after this political rally, and he walked in front of a slow-moving train at the station as we're pulling into the station.
But the detail is that there was like 40 the crowd collectively shouted no in unison
he stood in front of the slow
moving train as it ran over him
and then he
just like fucking mowed down
and I think died slowly. Yeah.
Classic Weiger move. Just a brutal
fucking suicide. A brutal slow death.
Yelling the south will never die.
I disavow his
politics if that's the case. Of course! We know that. It's a joke you freak. I'm justow his politics if that's the case.
Of course, we know that.
It's a joke, you freak.
I'm just saying.
I want to be crystal clear.
You can say anything you want about my great-great-grandfather.
I don't know who the hell it was.
Probably some asshole.
Yeah, it was probably Pazuzu.
It'd be embarrassing if the train stopped.
Yeah, right?
Just like an eighth of the way in.
stopped yeah right like just like an eighth of the way in um so uh so yeah a very elaborate order ordering system is going on you've got this like crazy crazy raffle and one place you're landing
on with some frequency poquitomas yes so especially when we when we edit when we stay late at night
when i say late at night i will frequently get poquitomas for dinner i would say yes two three
times a week wow that said That said, never been there.
Wow. Had no idea what the place
looked like. So tonight was your maiden voyage
to a physical Pochino Mas location. Yes.
Wow. We went to the original,
so we'll get into the meal. We went to the original
Pochino Mas, the first one that was ever
constructed by the founder. I have
his name right here, as I said in the
intro. When you say the founder, I think
McDonald's. It's not
the McDonald brothers. Kevin McCarney is his name kevin mccarney uh a who founded the
poquito moss this first location located on coinga boulevard uh and it's tucked into a little a
little strip mall kind of a modest location some of the newer ones are are quite a bit bigger this
one doesn't have a lot of tables inside um but i'll say this their service tonight was and it generally is super friendly and so fast i was amazed by the speed at which we got
our order it was blazingly fast so so fast um uh let's uh let's uh let's get into what we order
we'll start with the the chips and salsa because you just kind of get the and it's a thing i like
there that you get chips what and this i think dan is your is your first dine-in experience you
were witnessing this for the first time but you get chips. And this, I think, Dan, is your first dine-in experience. You were witnessing this for the first time.
But you get chips as you're waiting.
Like, they give those to you right away.
So you have chips and salsas you're waiting for your food, which some other places do.
But it's a nice detail.
The salsa bar, they have a lot of options.
I went with the verde salsa, and I went with the spicy.
It's like a bright red salsa that they have there.
And, you know, they're both very solid salsas.
They're really loaded up there.
I think there's like a half dozen different options
you can get across the heat spectrum.
What did you guys think of the chips and salsa?
I love the chips and salsa.
I should give some history on this place.
Please do.
This was kind of when I first moved to LA,
started working at the Birthday Boys house.
The Birthday Boys house,
Birthday Boys is my sketch group.
They lived on, well, for people who group. They, they lived on a,
uh,
well for people who are listening,
not,
I,
I,
I also,
I think everybody who listens knows that I say it too much.
They,
they,
they lived right up the hill from there.
So me and Jeff Dutton and,
uh,
and sometimes Hanford,
we'd switch it up at Dutton.
A lot of the time we'd go down to that Peguito mass.
Of course,
Dutton was a ringleader.
He is the fucking coolest.
God,
Nick is on this thing where he thinks Dutton is cool, he is cool he's a cool guy he's cool but is the implication cooler than you is that the i mean he's definitely cooler than
that's fucking 100 percent cooler than you i'm the coolest in town baby you're a lovable guy
but i wouldn't call it i'll call you cool neither of us are cool
no don't put me in your category we're different kinds of not cool but we're both not cool hey i'm
wearing the pizzeria regina shirt tonight that i was given uh that uh that someone had thrown up
on stage it was thrown up on stage at the live show oh you know what i take it back mitch you're
wearing a shirt from a pizza parlor with a flannel over it. You are a cool guy.
I just want to say from an outside perspective, I think you guys are both super cool.
Wow, thanks, Dan.
That's not a good sign for you, I'm going to say.
I've never met anyone.
All right, that makes more sense.
We used to go there a lot, and we would do a chicken burrito,
and they usually split a steak burrito.
So you get 1.5 burritos you and dutton 1.5 burritos the with the chips and and you know a paquito from the soda fountain we get a pepsi or diet pepsi that this was like
my meal when we would work up at the birthday boy's house just meeting yeah writing sketches
we were there every week we had a big long sund Sunday meeting always. This was the meal. This was the go-to meal.
Yeah.
And also, in a lot of ways, like my big introduction to burritos.
I had burritos before that.
Don't get me wrong.
I had frozen burritos when I was in high school.
But this was like...
Different game.
This is a non-Taco Bell, still fast food chain burrito, but a very, very well done burrito.
Sure.
I love the burrito there.
And it made me fall in love with burritos so much more.
So I have a big place in my heart for this,
a big cheesy, you know, carotid artery.
Literally.
Yeah, literally.
There's a spot in my heart for this place.
A plug.
There's a plug in my heart for this place.
A thing that will have to be bypassed at one point.
But I really, really love this place and was going there like in my 20s once a week when I was up at the birthday boy's house.
So you guys both got the chicken burrito tonight.
Yeah.
Just to say about the chips.
I thought the chips and salsa were great.
Yes.
I got the green salsa.
And then I got the on.
We got that sort of Mitch and I got very similar salsas.
I,
we got a sort of muted red salsa that you said was usually a darker color.
It's usually a darker color.
There's,
and you know,
I can,
I'll look up the names of these.
They're,
they're very,
it's very hard to figure them out there.
Cause there's,
there's that one's kind of like a Crimson,
right?
Is that the one you're talking about?
Yes.
And it's kind of like,
it's,
it's like a medium salsa.
Am I wrong about that? Yeah. But it's yes and it's kind of like it's like a medium salsa am i wrong about that yeah but it's usually it's it's usually a dark it's like called
like an asada salsa or something weird like that and it's a little viscous it's a little bit um
i i like it when the chips are warm i didn't feel like the chips they weren't too warm tonight
that's it they are a tasty chip right yes i think i think paquito mas i love it i think it is a place
where you can have a good Paquito night,
you can have a bad, not as good Paquito night.
I don't want to spoil.
I shouldn't say whether we had a good or a bad Paquito night.
Yeah, but do you?
Well, I mean.
We'll get to it.
We'll get to it.
We will definitely get to it.
So you guys both got the chicken burrito.
Yeah.
And Mitch, that's your go-to.
Dan, is that your go-to as well?
That's my go-to.
I always get a chicken burrito. I love how they press the burritos or they fry them or
stay on the outside so there's like a crispiness there's they're still soft and uh malleable the
the tortilla right but there's uh they've been pressed and cooked and it's really got a crunch
that's just slightly grilled yeah grilled man that's the word I'm looking for.
The tortilla is just one of the things, with that burrito, is just one of the best things
about it. Here's what I think is
one of the things in
the check marks in Bukido Mas' prose
column. They make their tortillas
in-house. They have a tortilla press
that you can watch at work.
This was a thing purportedly
invented by the founder. The machine that they use in these locations. This was a thing purportedly invented by the founder,
the machine that they use
in these locations.
It's like his own
patented design.
But yeah,
they make their flour
and corn tortillas in-house
and you can absolutely
taste the difference.
I mean,
you go to a place,
you can notice it
even with a taco truck
you go to.
You go to a taco truck
that is pulling tortillas,
corn tortillas out of a bag,
it's going to be
a different experience
versus some place
that has fresh corn tortillas.
And it makes a huge difference here.
I've gotten the name.
It is called, the salsa, by the way,
is an asada salsa, is what it's called.
It's kind of like a darker, almost,
sometimes it's almost black.
And this was not that.
And this was red tonight.
Here's another thing with Paquito.
The salsas will be different.
You'll go in there and sometimes,
that's a little spicier.
The cilantro salsa, which is the salsa verde verde sometimes will be a little bit more spicy sometimes it won't be spicy at all i would still say that's a check mark in the pro column because
they're making it in the house they're making it so you don't see it as a quality control problem
more as uh there's each uh salsa maker is an artist on their own right and they're changing
it up it's gonna be and also too just like they're they're to get different produce in it might have you know they get they got a slightly
slicier uh spicier pepper this day and and that's just going to affect what their batch they're
making then they have the pico de gallo they have two two kind of flavor two different levels of
heat in the pico de gallo then they have a uh like a fresh medium salsa and then this other one
that's a mild salsa one of them almost looks like tomato sauce and then the other one looks like tomato sauce that has little chunks in it those are separate even from
the two pico de gallos right and those those are the main ones for me then there's like a spot like
a spicier salsa that's kind of like a dark red that's like this this spicy salsa and then there's
like the the cilantro and onion and a couple other things in there well there's the bright
wet red one at the end too which is also that's a little spicy. That's what I'm saying. That's the spicy one.
Okay, you said dark red.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Bright red.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not trying to be pedantic.
I just wanted to make sure we're talking about the same thing.
Same one, same one.
If people can see this,
they're staring daggers at each other.
I'm not trying,
I'm seriously not trying to be pedantic.
I just want to make sure we're on the same page.
That's fine.
I'm just going to get my chalk out.
Right.
So I can make that chalk outline.
I feel like I've heard you guys
rail, or like like
really pan people who like pico de gallo i feel like is that is that a thing that i've heard
before here i just to me it was like such that beginning salsa of when i got here it's like the
it's the classic i mean if i go to a restaurant and they got chopped up you go to go i'm gonna
have it i just is now as time has gone on i think it's just kind of a plain option it can feel like a starter salsa at times although
there is a there you can get a very good execution of a of a i like the little burst of freshness it
gives sure that's what i like so i i got a little bit of pico de gallo 100 but i felt very
self-conscious no knowing how you felt no it's we weren't we scoffed at you the entire i tried to
hide it i really tried to hide it.
Yeah, you should feel self-conscious
in front of the guy who did Dong Kong
and the guy who did a Lorne Michaels impression.
Two guys whose opinions you should value.
But yeah, so, and how were the chicken,
you mentioned the variants of some of the,
of Poquito Mas,
you were talking through the sauces, Mitch,
and you know that can be affected.
How were the chicken burritos
your go-tos tonight?
I,
we can get to it.
I'll say what the ingredients are.
It's grilled chicken,
pico de gallo,
jack cheese,
guacamole.
The cheese is a big component
in this burrito.
So that cheese is like
complaining how UCB
should pay performers?
That cheese is like
kind of railing against
Earwolf's policies.
What the hell? Did I get lost in this jack cheese oh my god dear god that's the bit most inside joke i shouldn't have said
that just gonna confuse and upset people i liked it all right um jack the jack cheese is a big component in it i think i think it's besides
their tortilla nick yes uh this jack cheese uh it is it is one of it is one of the i think it's
one of the second most important thing in this burrito uh i mean the chicken you're saying after
the chicken is important and sometimes you can get that this doesn't happen a lot you can just
get up you can get a burrito some night happen a lot. You can just get up.
You can get a burrito some night, some nights that aren't as good as others.
What did you think of it tonight?
I thought it was pretty good.
Mine was pretty good.
I was pretty good, too, but it's not.
It wasn't the best.
It wasn't the best.
It's never been.
Some of the chicken wasn't as tender.
I thought I got some some some hard chicken pieces.
Yes, which which is that is when you get bad chicken.
It is rare, but it happens every single restaurant we go to. And you don't mean rare as like temperature.
I don't mean rare temperature. That also would be bad.
That would be horrible. I'm saying like a chewy chicken
or like a chicken that's just not as... Or like a hard
chicken. Or a hard chicken. Or a hard chewy chicken.
Yeah, yes. And hard chewy
chicken, that would be the worst of all.
But like if you get like, especially if you get like
kind of gristly or fatty pieces.
Can I also say... Oh, sorry. No, no, no.
I was going to say, I thought sorry. No, no, no. I was gonna say,
I thought having eaten there that the way their delivery or pickup option is really great.
I don't think it lost that much.
The,
the,
my normal experience wasn't,
didn't feel lesser because it had been sitting in a car for 15 minutes.
They are used to accommodating catering and to go orders.
And so they have a system down where they have good packaging
and they know how to pack things
where it's going to travel well.
Absolutely, and that is another checkmark
in the pro column.
This location specifically
is just getting bombarded.
I mean, it gets probably orders
from Universal every single night
and possibly from CBS Radford, too,
just every night.
Yeah, Universal Studios will be like,
boy, the minions at the despicable
we ride are hungry yeah can you those guys eat a lot they're so strong yeah they're super strong
for their weight so they're gonna toss a banana in one of the burritos i'm sure um but i was with
you i thought i thought tonight it was i thought it was okay i didn't think it was the best it's
ever been i didn't think it was the worst it's ever been i thought it was kind of right in the
middle which for them i think for the most part,
they're usually on the good side. They're usually on the
good side, but sometimes like for instance, for a time
they had like a crab taco. They had like a fresh
crab taco and then I wasn't that Pazuzu
one. That was where I was going to say
that one time I got in the crab was possessed
by Pazuzu. That's what I was driving at. They didn't
ever have a crab taco. They never had a crab taco.
I think I believe that too.
Good job.
We're tricking everyone today.
So you guys got the chicken burrito.
I went with the, I don't usually get seafood there,
but I went with the shrimp San Lucas Tazon
because they do, you know,
seafood was part of their founding
and that was part of what they,
you know, the novelty of this chain
is that they were one of the places
that was bringing the Baja California style seafood up across the northern side of the border.
This is a wild-caught Pacific shrimp, lightly dusted and pan-seared with spicy salsa roja.
That's the bright red salsa we were talking about.
Lettuce, black beans.
And that's a pretty spicy salsa.
Yeah, white rice, tomatoes.
And so you've got a bunch of fresh ingredients, basically, that these shrimps, they're like bright red.
They're like seared and bright red are sitting on top of.
And I think this was really good.
I mean, I thought the shrimp was good quality, especially for like a counter service chain.
It's like a good quality seafood.
Well, you know what?
Well, keep going.
Yeah.
I think we're going to i think we're gonna have
a similar thought uh the at least the ones i had in my bowl but you guys got a shrimp taco which
may be departed from that a little bit you know the the bowl is just like a bunch of stuff but i
will say it's like a better composed dish than the chipotle bowls which i think are kind of just
like a seven layer dip kind of mess this is more like okay the i see the discrete elements here
it's kind of presented in a way where it's a little bit more uh a pleasurable to look at uh as you do eat with your eyes first yours yours
yours had like almost like a like a pan asian kind of a beautiful presentation yes i actually
thought it looked great right it it looked it looked lovely and it it tasted great uh and and
i like the i like the the heat on it because i am something of a heat seeker um uh i i really
enjoyed it really really really high quality.
I wasn't sure I was going to get to hear it.
Really?
It's like I wanted to have a bingo board of things I wanted to hear.
And that was one of them.
That might have been the center square.
Wow.
Yeah.
Heat seeker.
I'm from Quincy.
Bring up Wu-Tang.
Wu-Tang.
Hey, Wu-Tang's the man.
We were talking.
God damn it. Look, if the Alexa turns man. We were talking. God damn it.
Look, if the Alexa turns on.
It's unplugged from this episode.
Son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch.
God damn it.
What if your mom is calling you?
She might be.
She's probably sitting by the phone.
Mitch!
Pazuzu's in the house.
The crab is there?
Yeah, yeah. She's standing on a chair as the crab is running around
we where we're lobster you know what i was going to say is that i don't i haven't eaten a lot of
crab in my life lobster and fish for sure and shrimp uh in the new england area but not a ton
of just not a ton of crab emma you're you're a new englander the same for you or now i don't have crab much in new england but my dad's from baltimore so every time we go to
baltimore it's like mandatory that we get can i say something does he say oh sorry you're gonna
say oh no no no you first how does he say the word egg egg because i get a lot of i say egg
a lot of the time i've tried to train myself i get a lot and i think it's like a bottom
he used to have the baltimore accent when he, he said, but he dropped a lot of it when he started working in business.
Cause he kept calling people hunt.
Oh,
that's like not okay.
That's an accent thing.
No,
but like he,
he like dropped it.
He's lived in new England.
He kept pinching girls.
So he dropped the accent.
None of that.
But he,
he's lived in new England for 35 years now.
So he has more of the Boston.
Right.
Okay.
That's kind of thing.
There's,
there's, there's a, do you guys, every guys whatever every it's weird that even just state by state there's weird terrible
accents wait how do you say it again egg how do you say it oh i used to say egg egg like the way
you would say bagel minus the bagel egg bagel egg and i would say egg i guess i say more egg tour instead of tour tour tour so
if you're talking about dr uh if you're talking about uh sonic's nemesis you'd say dr robotnik
aka egg man yeah that's exactly that's the context you would normally say it yeah yeah
does that make you understand it yeah i know i can wrap my head around it i was confused for a
second i was gonna ask you quick quick aside yeah are you liking you like crab cakes or you're like full-on crab better i like
full-on crab all right fair enough crab cakes are too rich for me there's yeah there's there's
i'll say this crab cake crab cakes are one of those foods where um there's a lot of bad ones
like you can get a bad crab cake and it's bad i think a mini crab cake could be a good thing
maybe yeah i like that there's some foods are's terrible. I think a mini crab cake could be a good thing. Maybe. Yeah.
I like that.
There's some foods are better as many and some are worse.
Like cake pops are a bad version of cake.
I think.
Well,
also that's the other thing with crab cakes.
It's weird to call it a cake.
Yeah.
It can't cake.
I'm just thinking of a cake slash pie pie.
Just waiting for another,
another,
another bingo box checked off.
This is fan service for one person.
Yeah.
It's a dream.
It's a dream come true.
Crab cakes,
aka crab pies,
are weird to me in that
it shouldn't be like this dessert.
You know what I mean?
Like this hot.
Do you like angel food pie?
I don't know what angel,
what is angel food pie?
Angel food cake?
Oh,
that's what he was saying. I didn't even get my own joke i'm a fucking idiot
but no i i feel like uh i i feel like when it's a hot dish like that yes that's uh it shouldn't
be called cake right i think it's fine all right fine whatever it's fine i think some people aren't
bored with me i i honestly don't think anyone's on board with that yeah no i think like i really think people support almost everything
you say this one seems insane it should be it should be a crab uh crab it should be a crab
patty i mean if anything it should be a crab patty that's great patty crab sounds like a
character that's great that patty crab is perfect why not a crab cake is weird to me patty crab
like a spongebob supporting character yeah right in that universe um so uh you guys had the uh staying on seafood
i had my shrimp bowl which i joined you guys each got a a shrimp taco i found it very disappointing
i found it very disappointing as well and also what was the issue you could tell by the the
shrimp just tasted kind of like not great quality they tasted like grocery store shrimp like
like they tasted like i feel like there's a cleaning detergent or something that they used
in a mass scale to clean shrimp i feel like your shrimp coated in the red sauce yes it probably
disguised some of this taste but i had like a septic taste almost like yeah i think definitely
that went some way i also that went a long way because this was heavily sauced.
Your guys was basically unsauced.
Also, I think there was a difference in cooking
because I think yours was broiled
and this one was seared.
It had a little bit more of a texture element.
They should have seared
these guys. Yours looked so attractive.
Then I thought when we opened our packages up,
it was a sad
color combo. Yeah, that's a bummer. It was like uh it was it was a sad it was a sad color combo
yeah that's a bummer yeah it was like the color of a band-aid kind of yes i mean it would they
did not look appetizing and also the other thing is is that they just weren't they were completely
uns it just tastes unseasoned and you could taste the you could you could almost taste like the
water yes that's what i'm trying to say The water that they were cleaned in or something like the industrial water.
Yeah.
It felt like you could taste the vein.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
When a shrimp isn't deveined, that's the fucking worst.
It's so disgusting.
I'm not sure if they weren't deveined.
I'm not sure they weren't.
I shouldn't cast aspersions.
I will say that I have encountered that before, and that is a nightmare.
It's so gross.
It's so, so fucking gross.
Even still, it wasn't inedible.
I mean, we both ate them.
I ate them i ate them i
put the i put the salsa verde on there armin stands by the he loves the shrimp burrito gets
it up there all the time but i wonder which which variant he's getting because he might be getting
the uh because you know there's the san lucas versus the the regular shrimp and i think you
want the one with the seasoning when we were talking about shrimp yeah they the guys behind
the counter put shrimp in a skillet i think it might be a pain in
the ass to make is what i'm thinking interesting i think that the burrito to armin's uh credit
might be better because then you've got all the other mushy stuff and you've got that nice crisp
pop every time you get a shrimp and so and the taste is masked yeah i wish i wish we would have
gone with the if i wish we had tried the fish tacos because i've never had them there and i've
never done the shrimp tacos either but i'm saying in hindsight i was like oh i wish we had tried the fish tacos because I've never had them there. And I've never done the shrimp tacos either.
But I'm saying, in hindsight, I was like, oh, I wish we had just gotten the fish tacos.
Who was the Johnny Appleseed of fish tacos?
Oh, boy.
This was fuck.
I don't know his name off the top of my head.
Was it Rubio?
Yeah, it was the Rubio's guy.
Ralph Rubio.
Yeah.
He gives himself some credit.
I think a lot of these places, obviously, aside from the chains, there are a lot of independent places that did a lot to spread this.
But yeah, he is one of the pioneers.
So staying on the taco front, the thing that I think helps the taco is that fresh corn tortilla that you're getting.
Even though maybe I'd like to have that doubled up, the more traditional way.
You just get the one corn tortilla.
At least I did on my potatoes carnitas taco.
But it was quality carnitas.
It had some pico de gallo just put on there behind the counter.
I plussed it up with a little bit of spicy salsa.
It had some cilantro on there.
It was good quality carnitas.
It got a little soggy because it didn't have that second tortilla soaking it up,
but it was a good quality meat taco, and I enjoyed it.
We also got the steak quesadilla, which I thought was a big winner.
That steak quesadilla was great.
I've had the steak burrito before, too.
The steak quesadilla is great.
The steak burrito is great.
They do great steak there.
One detail in there that it's it's not just cheddar it's not just jack and cheddar cheese it's also got a uh some some anaheim chilies in there
and some green onions in there and then you got some guac on the side to dip it in dan what do
you think of that i i i got to that late yes so it was a little cooler or colder and a little more
congealed right i have a like a phobia of the cheese because it gives me the tummy rumblies
yes there's a lot of there's's a lot of the rumblies.
Yeah.
So I mean,
and when we first arrived in your apartment,
I had a bad case of the rumblies.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Yeah.
As a,
as a goner,
are you still,
it's gone.
It's been sucked back into my body.
Do you ever try like a lactate or anything?
Does that do anything for you?
Yeah.
You mean like the pill you can,
the pill you can take in advance.
I have tried that,
but I think you have to take it with your first bite or something.
Oh,
okay.
So I, I, I, and I also feel like it comes and it goes right but um there's a lot of cheese in the in that and yeah in the in the quesadilla but the quesadilla
is normally pretty great yeah the taste was great and i thought the the guac was good yeah uh i and
nick we also got that's it as far as food right right? I was going to say, with all my food, I just use the salsa verde, the cilantro to pour on the food.
And then I use the chips for all the other salsas, which I'm just dipping and trying different.
But salsa verde for almost every single thing I eat there.
The salsa verde there is great.
It's really good.
And I think it goes really well with the burrito, the chicken burrito.
And it goes really well with the steak quesadilla.
Sorry, I laughed because when you said with all the food,
I just, I used, I thought you were going to say the bathroom,
and so little came out.
I finished a sentence in my head.
That's also true.
You know what?
I will say this.
Speaking of bathrooms,
this happens almost every time I'm in a Piquito Mas.
They like mop the floor with
like a bleachy substance that happened tonight when we were there it always happens can i can
i it's very it was a very strong smell within the restaurant always very very strong i hate
that it always happens i hate the smell of a college cafeteria like the cleaning area yeah
sometimes a restaurant will have that i recently was at a restaurant this is a very brief aside and uh i had
a very upset stomach i ran into their bathroom closed the door i was waiting for a while sounds
like we have a lot in common soulmates and uh a guy like in a uh like a workman's outfit walked
out of the bathroom as i walked in and kind of gave me a look like what are you doing but i thought
he was i thought he was embarrassed that he'd well i thought maybe of gave me a look like what are you doing but i thought he was i thought
he was embarrassed that he well i thought maybe he'd made a smell not what had happened i found
out after really really using the bathroom i turned around to flush it the entire handle
was gone wow the back was off of the toilet oh my god and so he was the plumber fixing the toilet
yeah what the fuck are you doing is.
That's insane.
And I'm sure in his head, he's like, should I stop him?
And then he saw the determined look on my face and was like, no, it's on him.
Wow.
So I had to reach into the bowl and pull up the plunger myself.
Oh, okay.
Oh, okay.
Jesus Christ.
No, no, but into the tank.
Into the tank, yeah.
Okay.
Not into the bowl.
That's still bad.
Yeah, the way you said it into the bowl, I was thinking of something else you're pulling out it was just like what a
nightmare but yeah just just pulling out the plunger in the train is fine that i i in the
tank is fine yeah i told the story when when i worked on mitch you're rattling the mic a little
i think you're riled up you're holding the mic sorry it's all right we're just picking up in
the cans i thought you were gonna tell the story about getting sick just now.
Oh, no, no, no. The hand.
No, I won't say that again.
You were so proud of it.
I told Nick that I would only tell it if the show was going bad.
I didn't even think the show was really going that bad.
I thought it was a great show.
Great show.
I had to say it.
Mitch, we were eating shit up there.
It was bad.
It was really bad.
We needed that story.
I was a pa
on a it's like this low budget movie the one of the guys from uh sex in the city was in it like
one of the don't like a don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't just painting a picture
for everyone is that sex in the city music i think so jesus emma's not along oh my god um
and i would never want it there was one bathroom on set
nightmare that's a nightmare scenario i never would want to use it so i had a stomach problem
i think i might have told you this nick i went to burger king yeah and the men's bathroom was
out of order it just wasn't open there was tape across it right and there was a handicapped
bathroom that was uh the men and women yeah and i was like
i gotta use this i feel bad it's the handicapped restaurant i'm sorry the handicapped handicapped
you're allowed to use them yeah handicapped bathroom okay yeah yes well then it makes no
sense what i did later but i i i used the bathroom and as soon as i sat down someone started knocking
on the door that's the worst the fucking And I was in there for 10 minutes,
so I said,
in my head,
I was like,
I got to make it seem like
there's something wrong.
So I left the bathroom
and I was limping.
So I left the bathroom
and I just had this limp on
and I was limping out of the bathroom
like I had a bad leg.
Tiny Tim style.
Tiny Tim style.
And the lady was,
there was a little nice sweet old lady.
She said,
she said,
hold on. And I said, yeah. And she said she said hold on and i said yeah
and she said help me and she wanted help into the bathroom wow i dropped the act completely
yeah i just gave up i just walked normal and i was like i'm busted and i just walked normal
that was your kaiser so say moment that was my kaiser so say but i gave it up i walked her into
the bathroom and she went oh it stinks in here and then i left it fucking sucked i mean
this woman was an asshole she was being really rude it's very presumptuous to ask for help into
a restroom and then to complain to get help from that person and then complain about what they did
she said oh it's it stinks yeah i was i mean i was very rude i left a place to not have any issues.
This is what happened.
And also, the woman's room was open.
Yeah.
I don't know if it was open.
There must have been someone in there.
But she was using the other restroom for a reason.
But I literally was limping. And this woman was a Sex and the City cast member?
Meanwhile, Big was on the west side Waiting for his new date
While I was outside a Burger King bathroom
While a man with a limp was stinking it up
I'll call him Big as well for other reasons
What he left in the toilet
And his resemblance to Big the cat
Gave up the limp immediately
Did you say anything?
Were you like, okay, that's over
What a nightmare.
That's horrible.
Jesus Christ.
That's amazing.
That's on her.
That's her fault.
I think that was back in the day where I thought like you needed to have some ailment.
I should have, now, I mean, I was 22.
Yeah, I think it's like optional.
It's optional.
You were trying to cover something.
By the way, just a weird detail.
I'd never seen this sign before in a restroom, but the restroom in the Pokido Mosque has a bubble light switch.
Thank you for assistance in keeping this restroom clean.
We endeavor to keep our restrooms clean at all times.
If for any reason you feel this room requires further attention,
please flip this switch up.
Have you ever encountered that?
No.
That's so weird.
So you have basically the way you would call a flight attendant
sitting from your seat.
You could do that for the restroom.
So that old lady could have flipped it.
The smell.
She told me it was very, very embarrassing
for something I wasn't over it.
Now I'm over that a little bit more.
Did you have to help her onto the...
I didn't have to help her.
She did have trouble. She was older. Did she drop the act? that a little bit more but did you have to help her onto the i didn't have to have one she she
she did have trouble like she was older did she drop the act once she was young she turns out she
was 25 or so uh no it was uh just uh you know what a meet cute yeah in the long line of uh
embarrassment that is my life that was another moment that was embarrassing and um why did god
put me on the planet exactly right we we asked this question every day uh we also got
the uh the aguas frescas which is a new thing they they added the pequeno masas various uh
house-made juices um uh should we say what kind we got i i went with melon pineapple watermelon
um what did you guys think i thought the melon the generic melon was fine it was like you know
it's it's's slightly fruity.
It's not particularly sweet.
I mean, just a little bit of sweetness.
It's just a tinge of sweetness.
But yeah, definitely refreshing.
I thought it was fine.
I thought it was nice.
I usually go with a Diet Pepsi, or if I'm being bad, a regular Pepsi from the fountain.
I like Coke products better,
but I like a fountain soda.
They also have the glass bottles of Coke.
I thought it was a nice change of pace.
I liked it. It was good. It wasn't
like one of the best agua
frescas that I'd ever have.
Agua fresca, right? Am I saying it correctly?
Agua fresca singular. Agua frescas
plural. And also
neither of us is pronouncing it correctly.
All right.
But we're doing our best.
But you pluralize both sides of it.
It's not like attorneys general.
Right.
Correct.
I got the watermelon.
I thought the watermelon was good.
Sometimes it can be a little too pulpy or a little too like it can separate.
It was not separated at all.
Yep.
I don't know if that speaks to it being less freshly made, but it was good.
If it was not freshly made I enjoyed it
I thought they were nice
They worked
I would have loved a dessert option
I know that's not necessarily a thing
That you would get at a restaurant like that
But it could have been nice
I guess they don't
I've never seen it on their menu
You'd think that maybe they'd have a couple options
In the cold case just sitting there
A piece of Tres Salches cake or something.
But, yeah, they don't seem to have anything.
But, hey, you know, they do it.
They have their menu, and then they execute that.
Well, let's get to our final thoughts on Paquito Mas.
So here's how this works.
Daniel, you listen to the podcast, but just a refresher.
We'll each go around, sort of give a summation of our experiences on this visit and previous visits, and then give it a rating from zero to five forks. You are our guest, your first Poquito Mas in-person visit, Dan, we'll begin with you.
Okay, great. So my history with the place is starting about a year and a half ago, I began
eating their burritos about two, three times a week. I think they're very dependable, really good.
Yes. And I think you can have a healthy option. I think they're very dependable, really good. Yes.
And I think you can have a healthy option.
I think you can take the cheese off of that burrito and it becomes healthier and less delicious.
Yes.
They have the veggie grill burrito,
which if you're not going to get cheese or whatever,
the veggie grill burrito seems like a good option.
It has a bunch of fresh vegetables in there,
which you can get.
And it seems like a healthier option. The healthiest thing i think you can get there is the they have the the
nature's grill protein plate which is just like a bunch of a bunch of grilled veggies and and
your choice of protein and i thought and i thought what you got looked delicious it was great um
and i might order it the next time although with our shrimp experience it might be a looks better
i mean but you really enjoyed it with another protein,
maybe a different protein for that.
Good point.
Fair enough.
Um,
so,
and,
I really enjoyed the restaurant.
Uh,
the experience,
I agree with you.
The service was really good.
It was really fast.
If anything,
it was too fast,
but I don't think you can say that about a,
a fast food restaurant.
It's not like they expected us to stay there for a long time.
The fastest food has ever been served to me at that restaurant ever.
That was the fastest foods ever come out.
Right.
Because we had a big order.
Yeah.
I mean, I felt like once we got from the salsa bar back to the seat, they were already placing
the burritos.
It was kind of amazing.
It was amazing.
Really efficient place.
Yeah.
Well run.
I like this.
I like the bathroom switch, which I didn't even know about.
Fascinating.
It's a fascinating detail.
It makes me think it's clean.
I wonder where the light is on the other end of that switch.
It must be in the kitchen, right?
Well, that's gross to think of.
It is weird.
So I think that it's a solid place.
Yeah.
I don't feel like it is exceptional.
I don't feel like it's not like i would go out of my way
again part of this may be because i go there so frequently yeah um i'm gonna say that said i know
that we are judging it based on its own context sure um the shrimp knocked it down uh maybe three
full times for me wow well two full times two full times wow gosh the we're scared i mean look on your face
we're both scared but i want you to be i want you i thought it was pretty good i thought the
whole thing was pretty good i'm gonna give it three forks three forks and three times three
forks three times i mean am i in the same ballpark as you guys i think it's i honestly i want i know
you make the guests go first and every time you do that I'm like poor guest I
put them on the spot but I think that's the best chance of
getting an honest evaluation I like that's true
I like I like I like where I
like that you said what you said I will
now say it this
place does hold a it holds a special place in my heart
Nick you said this this is the first one and there's a no
is this the one that has the no photographs one in it
or it there there was a time it looks like it's been
taken down but there was a time when when they had a no paparazzi policy
that was very explicit on a sign outside.
You saw Conan there one time?
Not at that location.
I saw him at a different one.
This location, again, it has a spot in my heart
because it's where I used to go all the time.
There's a little window where you can see them
making their tortillas in the window,
and that's pretty great.
I love it, and I will say this.
Every time I'm in there, there is that weird,
there's that cleaning thing.
I feel like that's happened to me multiple times
where they start cleaning, and it smells like bleach
and went under the restaurant.
Sure.
I picked up from this restaurant one time,
and I got a studio plate, Nick,
which we didn't talk too much about those,
but they're also kind of like another healthy option with a little bit of rice, a protein, a salad.
Similar to this is his own, just composed in a different way.
And I told you this, there was a little bug on this, and I've talked about it on the podcast.
There was a little bug on the side of the container one time, and I don't know if it
was a little roach or a little whatever.
It was tiny.
Yeah.
Did you threw it out?
I ate it, of course.
And I'm not not beetlejuice um and and and i still love that place so much that i went back again not even that much longer afterwards right
and i don't i mean we also have talked about this that's the only time i've ever seen anything
gross like that i do think that the the the quality goes up and down i think if you're
gonna eat in there like we did tonight,
there's one close to NBC
on...
Nick, we used to go there.
It's on Olive.
It's on Barham, right? I think it's on Olive.
It's on Olive. Okay.
We're getting very, very granular with
LA people being on awesome locations.
There's another location nearby there that's a good sit-down
version of it.
Right.
Better than what we have.
There's only a few tables, and the rest of the tables are really outside.
And it's too cold to sit outside right now in LA.
It's 50-something degrees at night or whatever.
I love it.
The chicken burrito there, I love so much.
The steak quesadilla and steak burritos, I love.
I think what they do, they do great.
I can't help.
I have to give this place five forks five forks. It is Jesus. It is. What about the what about the
shrimp? The shrimp was not great tonight, but I know I've
had a I know that that shrimp burrito is good. The shrimp tonight.
I should not get. I am purely rate rating this based on my experience
with it. It is one of the best casual fast food Mexican restaurants that there is in LA.
I think your rating was great.
I knew we wouldn't be in the hand-holding club.
But it feels like we're in the flicking each other off club.
No, not at all.
I worry.
Okay.
We are far enough outside the threshold
for even ballpark buds.
Jesus.
I'm just saying.
Can I ask you a question about the Golden Plate Club?
Yeah.
I mean, right now, we're averaging Golden Plate.
Or is it a minimum threshold?
Four fork minimum.
That's okay.
Four fork minimum.
This is not getting in.
I just want to say,
there might be a reassessment afterwards.
Let's see what happens.
You don't have to retcon your review.
I want you to stick to your guns.
Is Nick pissed off?
No, I'm just saying what our rules are.
Four fork minimum with an average of four forks.
This is so much harder than people think.
It's insane.
Don't feel responsibility.
It's totally fine.
Hey, Nick?
Yes?
Get the chalk.
Oh, no.
No.
I'll just walk out to see.
Here's what I'll say about Pochino Mas.
First of all, this chain, the size it is,
it makes their lives a little easier.
They don't have to scale things nationwide.
They are local to LA.
I believe they have 11 locations.
It's a lot
easier to maintain a same level of quality across 11 locations all in the same county versus across
you know a thousand locations across the country so you know you have to consider that that said
the poquito moss in santa monica which is where i saw conan um that poquito moss right across the street from a fudruckers
yeah a couple years ago shut down used to be my go-to i go to that poquito moss all the time
that's a bummer you know what replaced it a chipotle and you know what that was a major
downgrade and i'm a guy who likes chipotle yeah but that is a several steps down that is a huge bummer
chipotle is not in the same it's not in the same class it's not even anywhere close to the same
class as mojito moss there is there are absolutely better mexican food in la in southern california
obviously if you go south of the border uh so like there is definitely better Mexican food out there. But for this approachable chain version that is in areas where maybe this really great taqueria or really great taco truck isn't, for that execution, for that kind of Mexican food, and with some options that are decidedly targeted towards being healthier, as opposed to like a cabeza taco that you might get off a truck uh a poquito mas is
great at what it does and how much of a step down is it from poquito mas to chipotle how much is
that downgrade to me that's a two fork downgrade wow where do i put chipotle three forks oh my
by definition poquito mas oh my god a five fork restaurant mucho moss i say yeah i don't want a
little more i want a lot more oh my god first of all so uh just outside the the golden plate club
not in the handling club not in the ballpark buds but you know that's far away friends yeah
we'll be far away friends on this one can i just say for a place that is called poquito moss yeah
and i i believe earlier i said i wanted a little more. I wanted dessert.
And when it came to that, they were no moss.
That's true.
That's true.
And there was no brew dogs, no alcoholic beverages at this one either, which is.
That said, I hate that I am the one responsible for keeping it out of the Golden Plate Club.
Dan, I love it because you are sticking to your guns.
You are proving.
Nick is now looking at me for this.
No, I think this is great. because I change my scores for the audience.
You do that all the time. I know I don't stick
by my gun. Yeah, no, you pander. You pander
desperate and we will not make you walk into the ocean
and if you do look out for those gross paquito
shrimps in there and the
bazoozoo crab. Yeah, scariest of all
and the corpse of Don Kong.
That's how we died.
Yeah, it's floating to to sea i didn't write that
part of it yet um i want to also say that just a shout out to the salsas the best i think some
of the best salsas in the in the and at least in the in mexican fast food right or or cash fast
casual yeah the best in the game kind of what else is in this sector you you've got like your
your rubios which we reviewed recently which i really like you've got uh you've got the salsa you got baja fresh um i think it's wahoos i think i think
it's the best salsa bar of any of these absolutely uh well that was our review of poquito mas it's
time for a segment we got a bunch of chips and we're gonna eat them all it's another edition of
chips inhale rest you rangers bag too big no bag too small. When you've got chips, just call.
Ch-ch-ch-chips inhale.
Rest, you rangers.
Ch-ch-ch-chips inhale.
Every flavor.
You know it never fails once we're involved.
Somehow these chips will eat them all.
Mitch, you may have noticed that the TBD lyrics that I used to have nothing for has now been filled in with the line, every flavor.
That was courtesy of Aldrin, a.k.a. at Acorn Nio on Twitter, who submitted that back in August, which was the last time we did this segment.
Nick, we just found out, we just remembered that we have to do the broadcast.
Yeah, we had a little stop down while I grabbed the aux cord and remembered we're going to go guest on Joe Saunders
broadcast, which will have already come out in December
right after this.
I mean, yeah, no, I'm excited. I like Saunders.
Saunders is a good guy. He's a good guy.
It's late at night and we've got to do one more thing.
These last few weeks have been brutal. I feel bad.
I look bad. It's a bad...
You're wrong. You're wrong.
You look great.
You don't have to say that and you don't have to say that you don't have
to retcon your your your review of pookie domas uh joe saunders a writer's assistant on the pilot
of brooklyn 99 whoa that's cool hey the fans are tweeting over and over again they want to know
when kyle murphy's coming back in how many episode arc it is uh we're we're working on a multi-episode arc but we're thinking of recasting
no uh look also i even subtly is it gonna be subtly who comes in and takes over as a
kyle murphy it's uh there were in preliminary talks with ryan gosling oh my god okay very
different type um we we thought i thought it would be a Bruce Valance
or a, I don't know, a mound of clay.
Muppet Christmas present.
You have an outtake.
The bloopers and outtakes are finally coming out eventually.
The first season is coming out soon, I think.
And after we launch,
and the rest of them are coming coming out there's in the gag reel
you have such a funny improv where you were singing a song i was i remember and i it was
it's an insane i won't spoil it but but it was like i was singing i was like what am i singing
and it was one of those situations you also clearly realize that and then cover for it in
a very funny way i guess by not talking about exactly what it was, this is a waste of time,
but it's no, but that's, but I, I was Neil Campbell told me to,
is it okay if I say what it was?
Yeah, I think so.
Neil Campbell told me to rap like freestyle rap,
but just do it to the tune of Mary had a little land.
So I was, I started rapping and I got to the part and I was like,
Kyle's got a little girl.
And then like in my head, I was like, that's weird. And I was like, little girl, little girl. I was like kyle's got a little girl and then like in my head i was like that's weird and i was like little girl little girl i was like kyle's got a little
girl but like but she is is of age like that is that's the way i i had this rap the second part
that she was of age you were also alone in the car you're driving alone so you just see this
panicked look it was like all so real. Didn't know cameras were rolling.
This is just a candid moment.
And go ahead, improvise for a second.
And of course, no, that can be used on television.
Instantly to pedophilia.
That's your gag, Nick.
This character could play well at 1235.
10 to 1 slot.
If there's ever a chance, could you put a mug shot
of Nick up in the precinct of somewhere
around the top 10 most wanted list or something next to Whitey Bulger?
I thought you were going to say most handsome perps.
What a compliment.
Oh, this sucks.
Dan, you're coming back next week.
So we've got these Lay's chips that we got back when they were doing the Taste of America.
This Taste of America promotion, which was back in, I believe, July, summer of this year.
When was that?
Nick, you got me to get these.
We got these and then we just never had them.
You said got them.
They sat on my table.
Yes.
For six months now, just about.
And they've expired.
The sell-by date was 25 September 2018.
However...
Quick expiration for chips, huh?
Yeah.
However, Dan's family having a background in food
and him having some knowledge of it he said that
there was nothing to worry about so we're gonna go ahead and eat i mean they might be a little
stale there is a sticker that says guaranteed fresh okay great oh i mean guaranteed fresh
until printed date uh or the snacks on us we are well it looks like there's still some it looks it
looks like there's some air still left in there yeah well i'm gonna open these up and we can
circulate the first one we've got is a chili con queso. And then we've also got a wavy West Coast
truffle fries, which I'm going to open up.
They won't go bad, I feel like. I don't think they'll go
bad, but they might be a little stale. And we've also got a
wavy bacon-wrapped jalapeno popper.
By the way, apologies to anyone with
misophonia. Is that what it is?
Misophonia?
Which we've learned about. People are very upset by
crinkling paper, crinkling wrappers,
or crunching. All of these things are very upset by crinkling paper, crinkling wrappers, or crunching.
All of these things are taking place right now,
so our apologies.
I'm going to go ahead,
and this is the first one I've had.
I'm having the bacon,
what's the full flavor on that one?
Bacon-wrapped jalapeno popper.
Bacon-wrapped jalapeno popper
I'm about to put in right now.
This is another wavy chip.
I've just, I've eaten the chili.
Seems a little stale. I've eaten the chili Seems a little stale
I've eaten the chili con queso
Oh really?
I thought the chili con quesos
Weren't stale at all
Was that the first one you and I ate?
Yeah
Yeah I didn't think they were that stale
Maybe further down in the bag
The chili con queso one is fine
Yeah
I did that wavy one
Was maybe a little stale
But I feel like
Is there a chance
The flavors have degraded?
Could be
They all taste very similar to me
A little muted
Chili con queso
Is just a little bit spicy
And Mitch I need There's one more I need to have.
The truffle fries one you're holding.
The truffle fries being sent over here.
I'm not getting a big truffle taste from this.
I got a little bit, but the fake...
Try it again.
Maybe I need more of them.
I'm getting a little bit. I mean, it's definitely like
a truffle oil. Of course it would be.
Don't listen to me. I only gave the place 3.75.
You spoke your truth, and that's what's important. That's what we value It's definitely like a truffle oil. Of course it would be. I mean, don't listen to me. I only gave the place 3.75 stars.
You spoke your truth, and that's what's important.
That's what we value more than anything on this podcast.
I have a least favorite one.
Tell me.
By far.
Yeah.
My least favorite one is the bacon-wrapped jalapeno popper.
The fake bacon taste is gnarly.
I think I agree with you.
That's the one that tasted stale to me.
And it's also, you know, again, maybe there's some flavor degradation. i i just thought it was it was a pretty unpleasant i hate it yeah it tastes very artificial and also like what are they trying to do these these this is the this is
a bacon wrapped jalapeno popper is awesome that's i would love to have that on a little uh like a
little app tray i just get pissed off by these compound flavors. Like have a bacon jalapeno chip.
That would work.
It doesn't have to be bacon wrapped jalapeno popper.
That starts sounding like frankenfood.
Get the bacon out of there.
That sucks.
The bacon one sucks.
Simplify it to some.
Take two things away.
Huge whack.
Yeah.
The chili con queso is the best of them, I think.
That one's great.
Just a little bit of spice there goes a long way.
Chili con queso, I'd give a snack to if that was an actual chip.
I'd be fine if that was in the big bowl. Best texture, yeah. And then the Chili con queso, I give a snack to. If that was an actual chip, I'd be fine.
Best texture, yeah.
And then the trouble ones, I give a soft snack to.
Yeah, they're fine.
A gentle whack or a... A soft...
This doesn't even get a soft whack.
No.
This gets a hard whack.
Yeah.
This is the hardest...
Just to be clear, the hard whack is a bad thing.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
It's a Weiger level whack here.
Like I'm just really vigorous, like putting my shoulder into it.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ.
Yes, the chili con queso, I fully agree.
That's the one that actually works.
And I think also, too, it just being an actual Lay's instead of the Lay's wavy, which does not even close to a ruffle in terms of a ridge chip.
The Lay's wavy doesn't really work.
The chili con queso is a much, much better texture and crispness to it.
Who won the...
Can you look up who won or Emma can look it up?
By the way, in that drop, that was from The Bachelorette,
right, Emma, that you looked up from my
drop earlier in the show? Oh, interesting.
But did one of these flavors win?
I hope of these three, I hope
the Chili Con Queso won. I think there are
other flavors in the Taste of America that we weren't
able to get our hands on and that's part of the reason because they were only available in certain
regions and that's part of the reason we never ate these is the wavy a subgenre of the lays in
general are there lays wavies yes there are okay and those are the ridged ones that's yeah and they
fucking blow ruffles are so much better i don't like the font i think it's a font that clashes
with the other font font looks like shit yeah yeah it looks
like the font i would choose in high school that like made the the it made the the words a little
bit bigger so like it would so if i had a 12 page assignment right did i ever tell you that that i
in high school i wrote i had a 12 page book report due and i wrote the first page in the last page
just a paragraph and uh i was walking to my English class
and I set up a thing with Wu Tang and Micahs.
And Micahs knocked my books out of my hand
and then Wu Tang kicked them across the hall.
And I went up to my teacher and I was like,
I had my report.
This is insane.
Yeah.
But I was like,
they kicked it
and there's only the first and last page.
Wow.
And he was like,
okay. He said, yeah, he gave me an extra day wow the extra day was like through a weekend and then that monday i
still don't think i did it tough you gave yourself a last page you had to write to i know i had to
finish it like in the same exact way i have the opposite story which is i got a mac like like
what or an apple we had like an apple 2e
and they had different fonts on it and this was like in sixth grade i used my parents apple 2e
and we had to write a book about like dickens or something and i used the old english font
and i handed it in and i was like so proud of it and then someone was like
look at that fucking dork he wrote it English. Oh, did you do your homework?
That Old English character could play at 1235.
Obsessed with 1235.
I mean, that's when he puts up his favorite sketches.
Well, that was
Chips and Hale, Rest You Rangers. Just like
a restaurant, we value your feedback.
Good thing with that report, you didn't ask
Weiger any questions about Dickens. The guy doesn't know
shit about Dickens. I got doesn't know shit about Dickens.
I got Marley confused with
Bob Cratchit. You gotta re-watch
it this year. Yeah, I know.
It's like that your reference isn't the book.
You gotta re-watch
the Muppet version.
Don't know shit about that book. You should re-watch the Muppet movie.
Let's listen to this
voicemail that came to the audio feedback.
Hey, Doughboys. It's lizzie from des moines um i just went through the taco bell drive-thru and
i had a question for you about organization of drive-thru menus and placement of drive-thru
menus so this one i was just at the menu isn't even until past the speaker where you order. So how am I supposed to know what I want to get unless I pre-planned?
Also, I love a cheesy Fiesta potato,
and I don't even know where that exists on the menu anymore,
but I ordered it and it was there.
So question for you is,
what are some really confusing drive-thru menus
and what do you like to see in a drive-thru menu? Thanks. Bye. Do you think she went through the drive-thru menus, and what do you like to see in a drive-thru menu?
Thanks. Bye.
Do you think she went through the drive-thru backwards?
There's a good chance she went through the drive-thru backwards.
That's an insane setup, if that's what you experienced,
that the menu is after the speaker.
That's insane.
Makes no sense.
Dan, I know you're very conscious of what you eat.
Are you much of a drive-thru guy?
I am not. Not at all. Do you much of a drive-thru guy? I am not.
Not at all.
Do you ever use a drive-thru?
I mean, like growing up and in college and everything, like a road trip.
I mean, this still wouldn't be a drive-thru.
This would be like a rest stop.
The whole reason to do a road trip was to eat McDonald's.
Oh, interesting.
Because I just did not have McDonald's ever.
We found our reasons up in Ithaca to just go every Sunday.
Have you ever experienced an odd menu situation
or do you have any menu preferences
when you're going through the drive-thru
as rare an occasion as that is for you?
I mean, I couldn't speak to it,
but I would say that this sounds like an insane situation.
Makes no sense.
Effectively, you might as well have turned the menu around.
Right.
Or written it in too small a font.
That would annoy me, but I'm just making situations up.
What about you?
For me, I think the thing that helps a lot is having a little teaser menu way before.
You're rounding that corner, and maybe the queue is a little backed up. You got a little teaser menu there, so like like you're going you're around in that corner and maybe the queue is a little backed up you got a little teaser menu there that so maybe just got
some combos on it so you can sort of like pre-plan like you know with some of the more popular items
you can sort of pre-plan okay i know if i'm if i'm panicked i can at least get like a number three
and i i'm gonna get those those you know two combo burritos uh and the fries and and a drink and i
know i'll at least be content with that.
Ideally, you want the full
menu
within sight
before you have to get up there and order.
When you pull up to the speaker and the menu
is right there and that's the first time you got a chance
to look at it, that becomes a bottleneck.
It's also just such a stressful situation.
I feel like I never get exactly what I order
because I'm compromising with myself to just get it out in time.
I don't know.
What about you, Mitch?
Nick, there's a solution to this.
Yes.
And look, the Doughboys can't be bought, but we've talked about this.
So people are going to think this is branded in some way.
It's not branded content.
We can't be bought.
Doughboys can't be bought.
Well, we could.
Yeah, buy a Quip Toothbrush.
The McDonald's app and the Taco Bell app are great workarounds for this stuff you don't even
have to worry about that damn menu some of these places have real some of these chains are very
good apps now but i gotta point the finger at our places nick i'm not referring to potato skins
i mean apps on your phone oh jesus sorry continue mitch, we all agree that was worth it. Please continue.
That's up there with my Pazuzu crab story.
I think that if you do the apps, you don't even have to worry about that stuff.
But the two places that I point the finger at are two of our favorites.
It's Del Taco and Taco Bell.
I'm realizing we had a very similar discussion on a recent episode, didn't we?
No, this is okay. This is different because i'm saying these the two menus yes at both those places there's just so much stuff on there that it's hard to see like because sometimes you want
something new you want to be surprised by something and mcdonald's kind of has this bad too where i'm
like what is your featured sandwich or whatever when he puts that featured sandwich right at the
top then they give you all their classics right when you get up to the yeah right they do a great
job with it yeah the one he's actually used that that layout is actually usually pretty
mcdonald's like i i got like a regular just like the regular fried chicken sandwich from mcdonald's
recently and i got it through the app and it was amazing and i i never even see that on the menu
like it's it's just hidden on that big menu and the same thing with del taco and taco bell it's
just there's so much stuff when i go to del Taco Bell, I want to get the loaded griller.
And then at Del Taco, it's chicken rollers.
I can never even find them on the menu where to find them.
It's just tough.
There's so much stuff at both of them that it's hard.
You just have to know that like in the back of your hand.
Yeah, you have to kind of have a – I mean, with both of them, they're usually long wait, especially Del Taco.
Let us know out there your thoughts on drive-thrus.
Hashtag drive-dos or hashtag drive-don'ts.
Are we sure about that?
Yeah, we're sure about it.
I think that worked on both sides.
3.75 again.
Not sure I can be trusted.
3.75, if were Rating our show
Would be I'd say too high
Yeah way too high
It depends what it's out of
Obviously
But I mean for me
It would be out of a 3.25
Oh wow
What an endorsement
That's too nice
If you have a question
Or comment about the world
Of chain restaurants
You can email us
At doughboyspodcast
At gmail.com
Or leave us a voicemail
At 830-GO-DOUGH
That's 830-463-6844
And to get the
Doughboys Double
Our weekly bonus episode Join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at. And to get the Doughboys Double Hour weekly bonus episode,
join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash doughboys.
Go ahead, Mitch.
Nick, I know we were just talking about how it can't be bought.
Yes.
But my friend Fresh.
You're rattling the mic again.
My friend Fresh.
Yes.
Over Thanksgiving break, so this is a while ago.
Your friend Fresh?
He goes by Fresh.
This is a Quincy friend?
His friends call me Fresh, and I consider him a friend now.
He's a Quincy...
Yeah, he lives in the Massachusetts area.
He has this Instagram account called Boston Vintage Fresh.
What is your life?
You got a friend named Fresh.
And he came by, and he gave me a North Quincy High School sweatshirt over the break, and
it was very nice.
Boston Vintage Fresh.
Check it out.
I've been meaning to say that for a while.
A good dude, fresh. Check it out. That's all I want to say.
Well, there you go. Yeah, we can't be bought.
Hey, a little plug for that, and hey, a little
plug for our guest.
Dan Gore, thank you so much for joining us.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine, your show,
this episode's out January 10th,
the new season premieres tonight, is that correct?
Tonight on NBC for the first time. Wow!
Hell yeah, that's awesome. And I just want that correct? Tonight on NBC for the first time. Wow. Hell yeah.
That's awesome.
And I just want to say thank you guys so much for having me.
I know that I said it a bunch, but this is like a dream come true.
The pleasure is all ours.
I could be hit by a very slow moving train and be very happy.
Man, someone needs to say to you, dream big at some point.
This is my biggest dream. And someone needs to say to you, dream big at some point.
This is my biggest dream. You created a hilariously funny show.
Thank you for coming and spending time with us.
Yeah.
Thrilled to have Brooklyn Nine-Nine in the NBC family.
Wow, Lorne.
That's a high praise.
Thank you so much.
I think that we should put it at 1230.
I can do a Lorne Michaels.
It should be on at 1230. Why am do a Lorne Michaels. I should be on a 1230.
Why am I doing it bad now?
You infected me.
I don't know.
Sucks.
Should I start doing a dong dong?
No.
Why are you designed to act all of a sudden?
I don't know.
I can't do it.
Yeah.
Nick should be on in a jail cell at some point.
But thank you for coming in. Thank you, Dan. Yeah, Nick should be on in a jail cell at some point as an extra.
But thank you for coming in and for listening to this nonsense.
We appreciate it. God bless you.
And hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys.
Happy 2019. We'll see you next time.
Until then, for The Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weicker.
Happy eating. See ya.
What's up, Burger Brigade?
Hey, Spoon Nation. The Doughboys are coming to you live in 2019.
See us in San Francisco at the San Francisco Sketch Fest on January 18th.
In Saskatoon, Saskatchewan at Winterruption on January 26th.
And in Portland, Oregon at Listen Up Portland on February 16th.
For tickets and info, go to headgum.com slash live.
Do it.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.