Doughboys - Pressed with Arden Myrin

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Starting point is 00:00:58 Coming up today, that link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click, or if you're on your phone, use your finger and click that link. Click that link in the episode description. In 1972, Time Inc. launched a movie focus pay cable channel called Homebox Office, or

Starting point is 00:01:26 HBO for short. A novelty at first, along with cable television itself, by the 80s HBO's market had grown enough to attract competition from another movie focus pay channel called Showtime. In response, HBO bolstered its original programming slate. Live sports, too hot for network TV stand-up comedy specials, and most crucially, original series. By the 2000s, buoyed by zeitgeisty programming like the Sopranos, The Wire, and Curb Your Enthusiasm, the network had become a pop culture institution and a dream job for aspiring

Starting point is 00:01:58 television professionals, including an NYU grad named Hayden Slater, who took an entry level position with HBO straight out of college. But Slater would find, as many adults have, that a dream job still after all a job, and in 2008, while on a vacation retreat to Thailand to get away from the daily grind of prestige TV, he embarked on a life-altering experience, a juice cleanse. By 2009, the newly juiced Slater had left the network to pursue liquefied fruit full time, and in 2010, he and two friends launched a cold-pressed juicery in a tiny 25-square-foot storefront in LA, conveniently not just the nation's entertainment capital, but also

Starting point is 00:02:36 its health food capital. The produce-packed cocktails were a hit with Money Jim regulars, and over the next decade, the company would first expand city-wide than nationwide and also expand its menu to include more filling foodstuffs like bowls. And while in an alternate life, 2022 Slater might be giving network notes on House of the Dragon, in his current life, he happily oversees a liquid gold empire. This week on Doughboys, pressed. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

Starting point is 00:03:21 I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, C-Papageno's, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. That's pretty good. That is pretty good. Someone put that little logo with the Pappageno's guy, with the C-Pap machine, the C-Pap mask on. That's good. C-Papageno's. C-Papageno's.

Starting point is 00:03:41 C-Papageno's. That was, Amelia was worried that was too, that went too far, but I'm glad you liked it. That was from the Wicker Man on the Dough Squad. Amelia was worried about me. That's so sweet. Well, she's a sweetie. But unfortunately, you need tough skin on this job. That's why you songs out.

Starting point is 00:03:59 Drop Kings out. Couldn't cut it. The Wicker Man on Dough Squad writes, love you guys, Rose Swimman. The Wicker Man? The Wicker Man. I hear some noise. Yeah, there's noise coming from somewhere. Someone's got some ambient noise.

Starting point is 00:04:18 Did it stop? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, thank you. It was me. My bad. No worries. Wow.

Starting point is 00:04:26 We have a rare Emma Goof. That never happens. Emma, Emma, Emma, no worries at all. That's fine. It's completely fine. I will send my resignation now. Oh, no. That's more like it.

Starting point is 00:04:36 No, please don't. This is the straw that broke you. No, this is good. Why? Emma resigned. The show is done. It's perfect. Yeah, we can't do it without her.

Starting point is 00:04:47 We just did. It's great. We just endow boys. Oh, wow. And what a great final lap this will be because we have a fantastic guess. We do. Well, first of all, I don't know, to Spoon Nation, I've even got my drop. We went haywire.

Starting point is 00:05:03 Just one little glitch here. We've got haywire. I got a couple of bad bug bites. Look at my arm. Look at those. That looks pretty bad. Yeah. Got house flies in the house.

Starting point is 00:05:16 Trying to steal honey from a beehive. Is that what happened? I was not. Those are mosquito bites. Remember there was no. Wow. Remember there used to be no mosquitoes in LA. Look, don't get on me to be like, actually, there's always been mosquitoes in LA.

Starting point is 00:05:29 Sure. I'm just saying that like, do you remember time lags when it was like, it felt like there were no mosquitoes in LA? Now it feels like there are a lot of mosquitoes in LA. I grew up in Southern California. Our guest knows. Our guest is not. I feel like there's maybe more mosquitoes now, but I do remember mosquitoes as a kid.

Starting point is 00:05:46 So they have been around. I know. That's why I was saying, don't get like literal with it, that there are zero mosquitoes. But there are more mosquitoes now, which is just the truth. Look at scientific monthly. Just take a look at scientific monthly for just, just look at the front. Look at the cover of scientific monthly. I typed scientific monthly into Microsoft Bing.

Starting point is 00:06:15 And let's see. You want the, you want the current scientific monthly? Yeah. Take a look at scientific monthly. Okay. Let's see. All right. I got it open.

Starting point is 00:06:25 I got it open here. Are you sharing it? I don't think this is helping. I don't think it's going to help anything. It just says the scientific monthly is available for hardcover from Walmart. The world has been selected by scholars as being culturally important and as part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it. This work was reproduced from the original artifact.

Starting point is 00:06:48 So this is like a, this is like an old thing. This was like published way back in the day. I'm just excited that there's, it wasn't like a right wing magazine or something like a saying vaccines or evil or whatever. Published from 19, Mitch from 1915 to 1957. That was the era of the scientific monthly. Wow. The editor was James McKean Cattel who was the first professor of psychology in the United

Starting point is 00:07:17 States. Listen to some scientific monthly then put on some swing, some swing music. There you go. Listen to Benny Goodman, Artie Shaw, Glenn Miller, Big Band, Count Basie. There you go. Baby, baby. Yeah. I guess that's more current.

Starting point is 00:07:40 Right? Yeah. I think that was a throwback. I didn't know that scientifically, scientific monthly existed, but there are more. Look, there's, there's house flies in my house, but I'll tell you why. It's because it's been 100 degrees for a full fucking week. Very toasty. We're in the midst of a heat wave, which makes this week's, this week's chain, I think, appropriate,

Starting point is 00:08:00 fitting for, for this climate. Oh, I don't know if I agree with that. Well, whatever. I got to get to a drop. Yeah. I just, look, I don't know if I'm like, oh, it's a heat wave. I need some juice. What the, what are you talking about?

Starting point is 00:08:16 I just don't know if I'm like, oh my God, it's so hot out. I need some root juice. I don't think that happens. But juice is refreshing. Yeah. Maybe you don't want these specific juices. Like some of these blends are more like, you know, loaded with antioxidants, that sort of shit.

Starting point is 00:08:34 But juice is refreshing. A cold drink. A cold fruity beverage. Yes. I also think that this place has a spot, though, in the winter months, which we'll get to. Um, because, because I think that this is, I've, a lot of the times when I got this place, it would be when I had a, had a cold. When I was sick.

Starting point is 00:08:55 Wow. Like right now? Say the word. That is weird. That is true. That is bizarre. He vision boarded it. I gave myself COVID.

Starting point is 00:09:07 I vision boarded myself some COVID. Again. All right. Here we go. Here is a little, here is a little drop, everybody. He's sort of the quintessential dope boy. Nick says, why? He's sort of the quintessential dope boy.

Starting point is 00:09:25 Mitch says, Mr. Slice. He's sort of the quintessential dope boy. Lemon, ginger, water, turmeric, turmeric. Lemon, ginger, water, turmeric, turmeric. Don't fuck with the jacks. Wow. Well, very fitting. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:49 Good job, Emma and Drop King. That's a very fitting for today's episode. Um, here we go. What's up, Spoon Man and the whole dope boys fam? I made this drop after hearing the quintessential dope boy line in this radio piece. About the tomb of the unknown soldier. And then there's a link to this too. Oh, WBUR.org.

Starting point is 00:10:11 Also, shout out to the jackster. Oh, man. Saphideus? Like the Star Wars character. Who's Saphideus? Which one? PSY. Not Darth Sidious.

Starting point is 00:10:30 Thesidious. Thesidious? PSY. Listen to how I spell it. PSY. Let me type it out as you say. Okay. PSY.

Starting point is 00:10:42 Wait, hold on. I can open up my notebook. Jesus Christ. PSY. PSY. PSY. PSY. PSY.

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Starting point is 00:14:20 PSY. PSY. MSY. PSY. PSY. PSY. PSY. PSY.

Starting point is 00:14:44 PSY. PSY. PSY. PLEAS licensing. PSY. PSY. PSY. PSY.

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Starting point is 00:20:08 PSY. PSY. PSY. PSY. PSY. SCREEN. PSY. PSY.

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Starting point is 00:33:56 PSY. PSY. PSY. PSY. PSY. Option. Option. This is a good restaurant to keep your cool in.

Starting point is 00:34:06 Oh, God. To stay cool. I disagreed. I think you're right, Nick. I think that a cold breakfast, which you can get here and just having some juices, can be refreshing. But I don't really consider lemonade. Yes.

Starting point is 00:34:19 And they do. They have a bunch of lemonades here. Sure. But I don't really consider juice like something that I want to drink when it's very hot out. But I do agree. It's a refreshing place. But Arden, what for you? And for me, a lot of memories from this place, and I know we'll get into the review of it,

Starting point is 00:34:36 is like, it felt like it started locally, right? It did press start in. I didn't listen to your intro. It started in LA. Yes. It did start in LA. And it's interesting to see it go from like, oh, an LA juice place to now like what seems like a national chain.

Starting point is 00:34:50 It is semi-national. Yeah. So it's fun to follow that trajectory. And actually, I don't think that they've lost a step too much. I think that they actually still have done a good job. So to say all of that, but for me, a lot of it early on was to go and get a wellness shot or to get a drink when I wasn't. And I got COVID.

Starting point is 00:35:09 I got some deliveries. Yes. Yeah. Wow. Thank you. That's, pressed juice is like good for, of like, I need vitamin C or I need like a green drink because like, I haven't been eating right and I need to get some greens in me. Like that's what I thought.

Starting point is 00:35:24 Or if I'm planning to eat like shit, like if I really want to eat like shit at dinner, I'll do a light like juice, maybe like, I'll do a lighter lunch, including like a juice because I'm not going to not eat and I'm not going to not, I'm never going to do a juice. Sure. I'm never going to, I'm never going to do this for like more than one meal. So if I know like a little piggy went to market and it's going to be tonight and she's going to be eating everything on the menu. All right.

Starting point is 00:35:50 It felt, it's nice to have a nice clean option that you can get anywhere in the country. Like, like, are we, you know, a lot of places like I'll do it to pregame a much more disgusting dinner. Yeah, that makes sense. Yes. I also, I have, I have, I have a thing with these juices, like like the greens juice. We're not to get gross on everybody here. Please.

Starting point is 00:36:15 We've already got the first one. The green juices, the green juices kind of go right through your wigs. Yeah. Sure. You know, they, they, they, they, they work their way through your body. Like the pussy posse works its way through the, the LA dating scene. The Victoria's Secret Angel, the Victoria's Angel lineup. They see a woman.

Starting point is 00:36:37 That's how an angel gets her wings. We'll take a break way back. Oh my God. Every pussy posse member gets you your wings. Hey everyone, it's the dough boys. You know, this spring you need nutritious, convenient meals to energize you for warmer active days and to keep you on track to reaching your goals. Factor America's number one ready to eat meal kit can help you fuel up fast with ready

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Starting point is 00:40:29 We are with our guest, Arden Marine, discussing pressed, the official name of pressed juicery. Just pressed. I got two comments to say, first of all. Yeah. One, I was going to ask Arden a question. I didn't get to finish my whole spiel before you cut to commercial. It's like the Simpsons cut into commercial before Homer says dough. You threw to commercial before I could say I could ask Arden.

Starting point is 00:40:53 We had a good out. We had a funny joke. It was a good out to go to the commercial. Someone's going to watch the fucking clock on the show. You're going to cut before Homer says dough? I didn't know Homer was going to say dough. What's the question? The question is, what do you like to stay cool in 100 degree heat?

Starting point is 00:41:10 Oh. Which we have right now, which by the way, our power could go out today. There's like a very good chance that it actually does. It's like California is supposedly using like more power today than it's ever used before. Oh my God. That's okay. This is a great question. What do I, let me think, what do I, I get very sort of primal at like latchkey kid.

Starting point is 00:41:35 Like I want like a bowl of cereal. You know what I mean? Like a person that doesn't know how to operate a stove. Like I want like snacky. I want to kind of lie on the couch. Like I'm watching like prices, right? Like the equivalent of or like a taco. I would always love a taco.

Starting point is 00:41:52 Like I would love like a, you know, like a street taco or like just like some, like some, like going to somebody's house that has all the good snacks and just like eating my way through their pantry, like a Dorito. Like I'm not saying that I'm going to stay cool, but just giving into the fact that I'm so hot. I'm disgusting. And I'm at like the parkette's house and we're eating like pudding. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:14 The parkette's like that to me is like, I know I should say like, I want corn salad. Like I want a watermelon. Like I kind of want to lie around and watch like really shitty TV and like snack on like a big bowl of cereal. Yeah, I get it. How about you? For me, I have a big, I have a big, the, I don't know if this is a big three, but Slurpee is one.

Starting point is 00:42:39 It's a big one. I used to get Coke Slurpees every day. And then I real, then I looked it up and they're like, these are 600 calories. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Slurpee's so good. But on a hundred degree day wags, go get yourself a Slurpee.

Starting point is 00:42:54 Yeah. Slurpees are so good. Slurpees are fun. So fucking good. Yeah. I agree. Gatorade is the other one. It's usually, it's mostly all, it's mostly all liquid on a hot day like this.

Starting point is 00:43:05 I want a peach. I want like a peach in my yogurt. Oh, that's fun. I want a peach. I want a peach. If I make an oatmeal, I want a peach. I want a peach pie. I want a peach in my, maybe like a burger and like a peach cobbler.

Starting point is 00:43:18 Mmm. I like that. You know what's funny is that when you said Doritos, I'm like, I usually was getting Doritos on like a hundred degree days because it would be more about the drink. And then my side snack was always just cool ranch Doritos. But a Gatorade Slurpee Gatorade. And then the final one is the big boy lemon Arizona iced tea, the big boy can. That was the other one wags was to be a lot of fun.

Starting point is 00:43:40 In Rhode Island, you get yourself a Del's frozen lemonade. Oh, I've heard about these frozen lemonade. Emma's nodding along. You would love it. Emma. Yeah. She knows. Oh, they're so good.

Starting point is 00:43:53 I have a packet of like powdered Del's stuff downstairs so I can make my own frozen lemonade at home. They're so good. She knows. You can get a Del's frozen lemonade. I mean. I got to try one of those when I'm up in New England again. I will say that the thing that I thought of that maybe has not been mentioned is an

Starting point is 00:44:12 ice pop. You know, like a popsicle, the brand name, but you got to get an ice pop. Oh, like the ones in the tubes, like the Otterpops? Otterpops are great. But also like, like I've had some, there's this place in LA, Nomad Ice Pops that does a more artisan ice pop. And it's fucking, like there's all these high end, all these high end creameries, but there aren't as many that do and do in that version of an ice pop.

Starting point is 00:44:34 I will say that what Arden said is so refreshing. I mean, any ice cream truck, ice cream or. Oh, for sure. Yeah, for sure. One of the best at home ones is the Otterpops. Like, like the ones, the liquid in the tube that freeze. Yeah, those are great. The blue ones, like a blue one.

Starting point is 00:44:47 A lot of fun. I want my teeth to be blue. Like if I'm going to a bougie meal, I want like a stone fruit with like a feta and like a watermelon and like a tomato. But like, I'm not making that. I'm making a bowl of cereal. But if I'm going to go out, you're going to be bougie. You're going to give me an offering.

Starting point is 00:45:05 I'll take some of your bougie stone fruit, tomato, corn, salad situation. But like. A burger and a dog also works on a hot day. I love it. Sure. Like you're saying. A classic barbecue. A classic BBQ.

Starting point is 00:45:18 A BBQ. Did you guys power go? My power went out and like wreaked havoc on all of my electronics. Oh, for sure. I'd like still. When did that happen? My way back. It happened on Saturday, I believe.

Starting point is 00:45:30 Wow. And it was fucking. And the power went out for like literally 30 seconds. That's it. Yeah. And then it came back on. But like my, all of my electronics were fucked. And then the internet was out for, for like 24 hours.

Starting point is 00:45:44 It was, it was. That's a bummer. That's tough. Anyway, Mitch, going back to your criticism of when I threw to break. I feel more confident in my decision now. Because you know what followed your question? Six minutes of conversation. Then we're going way over not throwing a break on time.

Starting point is 00:46:00 Can I also say when we were coming back from break, I had to watch you jack off all your juices while you were just standing there silently. You brought back all your juices. I had to shake them up. And you jacked off each one of them in front of me and Emily. I would not care for his jacking up. He shake weighted each juice in front of you.

Starting point is 00:46:16 He shake weighted each juice. Did he just stare to the camera making eye contact, shake weighted each juice? He was. And if there was a human resources and dough boys, I would have gone to it. I told them. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:46:29 Yeah. And you know what? I saw in the dough boys picture uploads that you had bought six juices. And so I bought six juices as well. Here's the deal. I'm going to open another one now and I've had a sip of another one and I've taken a shot and maybe I got a bowl or something. We'll see in a second.

Starting point is 00:46:50 But I have like four more juices in there and I'm not going to open them because they're so damn expensive. Each of them is like an eight dollars. They're so expensive. I actually had a couple in there and I was like, the total was so high with a couple juices that I was embarrassed to order that. So I took them out because I didn't want to look like a greedy guest. Well, you can always spend whatever you want.

Starting point is 00:47:17 You can do whatever you want. And also. The $50 limit is for like the matte koalas of the world. My garden is fine. He has a $5 limit. He's a part of the puny pasta. I was just shocked at how expensive. I was like, if I'm going to spend that much for delivery, I want a meal.

Starting point is 00:47:34 You know what I mean? Yeah, I got you. Yeah. Which this is a very much a delivery place for people who are going to get because I also got delivery. I've been in the before. It is kind of like the Apple store of juice places. It's very much like feels like an apple store.

Starting point is 00:47:49 Aesthetically very similar. That's a great observation. Yeah, that's a great. But I got to say all these complaints, the juice is too much. I kind of like this place. Why? So get into the meat of it. Get into your meat of it.

Starting point is 00:48:02 And I want to try. I'm going to open up. I'm going to open up a juice right here right now and try it a little bit. I'm also kind of into it. I had one juice. So I had one shot earlier, which you probably will see on our Dough Boys Tik Tok account. I also had another juice at a bowl earlier at a bowl yesterday and I had a juice.

Starting point is 00:48:20 I don't know about this Tik Tok thing. I mean, I don't know about it in general too, I guess, but I'm saying, you're going to put up a thing from the place we're reviewing. It's a tease. It's one item. I wish I got a second bowl. I wish I got a second bowl. I want another bowl.

Starting point is 00:48:40 I had one juice on. Yeah, honestly, the bowl was the highlight. The bowl was great. But I've got four other juices here that I'm going to take six of. We're doing Burger King today. The day before we do Burger King as the episode, I'm going to have a snack or whack whopper. It just doesn't make sense.

Starting point is 00:48:56 No, it's not. That's not the same thing. I got, look, they have these. These first time you talked about how expensive this place is. They have these juice shots that are like, whatever, it's two ounces. It's a travel shampoo bottle worth of juice. Hello. Now, Arden, now we are talking, Arden, now we are talking.

Starting point is 00:49:33 That is more like it. Oh my God. This costs $3.75. So that's like, that's for the shot. The big boy, the big boy is like, yeah, it's a list price is $6.95. These are seven bucks a piece for a full-sized juice. So they're expensive. They're expensive.

Starting point is 00:50:00 And look, did they lose a little bit by being like mass produced? Maybe, but I think that the taste is still pretty much there. I think they still do a pretty good job. Agreed. Because part of, I think, what makes this place feel like a rip-off is that you are, the juices are pre-made, like you were saying, like they're in bottles. You're not getting it, it's not like a Jamba juice where you're seeing it made fresh. These are cold pressed.

Starting point is 00:50:20 They're made at some sort of plant. And so they're bottled already for you. That used to be the case. There's one in Atwater. I think, is it Atwater, the press that was in Atwater? Maybe it wasn't there, but the one in Glendale. And it felt like they, it felt like they used to make them in store. I mean, they definitely did at one point in LA.

Starting point is 00:50:39 Yeah. They used, they used to bottle some of them, some of the press juices in store. There'd be, there'd be people making stuff in the back. And maybe that was just for shots. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know the history of that. I'm sure some people do.

Starting point is 00:50:52 But now it very much feels like these were made at some plant. Maybe, maybe some places have the ability to bottle them in store. I don't know, but it feels like these were made at some plant and shipped out. I haven't seen that at the press that I've been to. It was founded in 2010 in LA, which I mentioned. And yeah, it's cold pressed and it has locations now on the West Coast, the Northeast and in Texas. Do you remember, do you remember you would go there and you, if you got a,

Starting point is 00:51:17 you could get a wellness shot and it wouldn't be in a little plastic bottle. Do you remember when you would just get like the shot? I don't remember this era, but I, I also think I have less history with this chain than you do. Cause like, I don't remember though, I feel like I used somebody that like, that had sort of invested in it. And I thought it was like maybe one, like, it was like one location. And now it feels like it's much, much bigger.

Starting point is 00:51:43 Yeah. Yeah. It's huge. Yeah. It's sprawling. There's, there's, it does have locations. I remember specifically when these, when the, the shot, the very adequate, adequate, adequate, some would say too big size.

Starting point is 00:51:58 Huge. Don't get that, don't get that thing away from me. Disgusting. Disgusting. These shot bottles, I remember when they started to use these, like I remember when I saw these and I was like, look at these little mini bottles that they have the shots in. Like I remember it being a thing when I, when I, when I saw it for the first time.

Starting point is 00:52:14 Again, my issue, my thing with a juice place so often would be like, Oh, sometimes I would go after lunch with Armin. We get ourselves a juice or if I wasn't feeling well, I'd get a juice and do a wellness shot. You know, the cayenne, lemon and ginger. That's the big one. Or do a greens. I've said this already, like when my stomach, but again, the greens drink really just works.

Starting point is 00:52:39 It's way through your body for, I might be alone on this, but a greens drink is a lot. There's a, it's, it's, it's, it's quite a bit. The body rejects the green shot. I mean, maybe it does. Honestly. Yeah. Your body is like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not today devil.

Starting point is 00:52:58 No. But for me, There's a Catalina dressing to flush this out. I mean, that's like, you're crazy. Or is that Catalina dressing honey? Yeah. For me, I never wanted to press for like thinking of it for food or for like, or for substance, but then.

Starting point is 00:53:17 That's the thing. It did change for me. Why? When I did, when I was at Palmerston, I did order myself the same thing I ordered today, which is a bowl. I got myself a bowl. That's the only reason I picked it. This is the only reason I picked it.

Starting point is 00:53:34 Yes. Let's, let's, let's start with the bowls because I, I think I'm with Arden that, that, that for me, this was a personal highlight. I, I enjoyed the bowl quite a bit. It was a real treat on a warm day. I got the passion fruit original smoothie bowl. Which direction did you go with Arden? Well, I got to be honest with you.

Starting point is 00:53:52 I ordered from, I got really, because I, I enjoyed the bowl so much that I regretted not ordering another bowl that I, that I then went back online and that said the location I ordered from, first of all, I fucked up some of my order and they didn't have the passion fruit. So I only had like three options, which is sort of good because I really would have been razzmatat. It would have been very hard for me to pick. Um, sure.

Starting point is 00:54:16 Because I didn't see that as an option. I ordered the, um, acai power bowl. Oh, girl. Arden. Is that what you got? Oh, Arden. Is that what you got? Matching orders.

Starting point is 00:54:31 I got myself bowl. Wow. Ice, acai. Oh shit. Acai. Acai. Acai. Acai.

Starting point is 00:54:39 Acai. Acai. Power. Acai. Power. Power bowl. Power bowl. I got the acai power bowl as well.

Starting point is 00:54:53 Oh. And I mean, I'm literally salivating. I'm like, my heart is racing. You know, I'm a monster. You know, I'm like a raccoon, like an actual garbage. Like I am, I present this one thing, you know, deep. Like, you know, I'm a fucking monster. You know, I was raised in Kathleen addressing, you know, my dad ate cookies with a hammer.

Starting point is 00:55:13 You know, I'm like a monster. So that's part of the fun of doing your show is I get to like take my monster out for a walk. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. I can't let it run rampant. So if it has an assignment, I'm doing my assignment. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:55:28 So this to me, like I don't mess with my monster too much because it's loud and it takes over like a crack head. You know what I'm saying? Like I have that level of monster. So I was like, Oh, what are you? Acai bowl. No added sugars. We like, and there's like a crunchy topping.

Starting point is 00:55:45 Um, like I'll let you just describe what's in it, but the, but the salt and the sweet and the cold and the crunch. I asked for extra strawberries. They didn't give it to me, but the, but the, it was just the right amount of almond butter. It was literally. I'll say this. There's there, the way it comes, there's supposed to be no strawberries on it. So did you get any?

Starting point is 00:56:04 No, no, I got not. I asked for, I wanted strawberries. I wanted to add strawberries. A weird, a weird omission because, because the regular bowl has it. I said to add strawberries. They didn't add it. It was, it felt so good and it really scratched the itch of the monster in me that used to go get McFlurries all the time.

Starting point is 00:56:25 One for me, one for my friend and my friend wasn't in the car. My friend was mean. I was just buying two. Do you know what I'm saying? So like, so like that person that would like go to McDonald's and lie to the person of the drive in really in a healthy manner or like healthy version. I loved this. I'll, I'll read the description here.

Starting point is 00:56:49 Please. The bowl for powering up and powering on exclamation point, which is very funny to eat this and then sit in record for five hours. Our Acai Power Bowl is packed with protein. Thanks to toppings, to a toppings mix of satiating almond butter with banana, almonds, cinnamon multigrain, grain and seed granola, which is great in blueberries. Not too sweet either. Not too sweet.

Starting point is 00:57:21 Not too, not too sweet with a balanced ingredient base, including Acai, oat milk, coconut cream and no refined sugars. It's a health friendly way to get your daily fuel, which it is health friendly. I think this thing is like 800 calories. It's not. I looked it up. It's not. It's like 450.

Starting point is 00:57:39 Damn. All right. I'm going to eat this every day. Literally. Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you? The eight ounces is like 490. And then you can also get a big boy too.

Starting point is 00:57:48 You can get a 12 ounce. I mean, that's probably what I got. I didn't pick a size. I think I got the 12 ounce. How much is the 12 ounce? 12 ounces, 630 calories. All right. That's okay.

Starting point is 00:57:56 That's not that bad. I've eaten way more than that, doing much less exciting things. I think I must have got the 12 ounce. It's a pretty big, I got this pretty big bowl here. Yeah, I got that too. Okay. Good to know. Good to know.

Starting point is 00:58:11 Good to know. I'm going to say this. I loved it. It's funny on this 100 degree day that like my one complaint could be that it's too cold. Yeah. The acai slush is like, is sometimes like is like very, could be like very cold on the bottom there, but super cold. There's fresh banana on here.

Starting point is 00:58:30 Oh, the blueberries are big. That almond butter drizzle. The drizzle. It was just the right amount. I didn't know if it was going to be too big of a scoop. No, it's great. It was salty. It wasn't unsalted almond butter.

Starting point is 00:58:40 It had salt, sugar, cold, crunch, smooth, 10 out of 10 for me. I wouldn't change anything except for having them add the strawberries. The sea salt is really nice. That absolutely helps. You know, they had a tussle of sea salt on there. Mine didn't have the drizzle. I went with mine was drizzles, but it still was just good. No, it was still packed with flavor.

Starting point is 00:59:02 Tell us where you got. Tell me all about it. Tell me everything. I got the passion fruit original smoothie bowl. And that's the one that it's basically like. It's not sea salt, my man. It's got sea salt on here. No, I was saying with.

Starting point is 00:59:15 I was saying that's not sea salt, my man. I was talking with your drizzle. Uh, it's like it's dry ejaculate. It comes out like powder. Ethan's soup. Do you pray? Do you pray? What's his name?

Starting point is 00:59:29 Ethan's soup play. Ethan Suppley. Ethan Suppley. He told me to call him soup play when I. He told me he was a pilot. He's jacked now, I think. I think he's like a guy who like jacked. All right.

Starting point is 00:59:45 Um, look, I never had an acai bowl ever. And then when I got the press jewelry, this is the second time I got it, but I got it. Why is it? I think around when we were recording do boys, I think I maybe talked about it on do boys was I was like, I had this thing and I loved it then too. And it's held up each time.

Starting point is 01:00:03 Right now. It's fucking good. It's real fucking good. It's so good. And also I had like, I kind of turned my nose at acai bowls. I was like, what is this? We all did is stupid, but they're not there. They're the best.

Starting point is 01:00:15 Also the fact that it's not like, this is not like, like you were saying, like it's healthy ingredients. Sure. The calories a little higher or whatever, like 600 for breakfast. Sure. Whatever. But I'm saying like, you can tell that there's good things in here.

Starting point is 01:00:29 You're eating fresh banana. You're eating almond butter. Like it's great. And it fills you up. It's, it's very filling. It's, it's why it's, it's, it's that dish is a five forker. I'm not saying this place is a five forker, but the dish is a five forker.

Starting point is 01:00:44 The bowls are a home run. And if you don't, if you're an acai skeptic, you can get the passion fruit. I mean, that's like, you know, I'm not just the biggest acai guy, but, but, uh, but the passion fruit was delightful. And the, the, the fruit was really tart in that, which I really liked. Like it was like,

Starting point is 01:00:58 That sounds so good. Yeah. It wasn't like aggressively like something. It wasn't too desserty. It was like the level of sweetness where you, you know, like it was, it was satisfying and it satisfied your sweet tooth, but it wasn't like, like, Oh, this is punishingly sweet. This feels like I just had a big dessert.

Starting point is 01:01:12 It still felt helpful. I really, really enjoyed it. What were you going to get into? I cut you off on my big acai thing there. I don't, I don't remember, but, but I will say this, this, I went, I went in store and while we're talking about bowls, we had a great bowl experience, but you know who didn't have a great bowl experience?

Starting point is 01:01:30 The wild Karen I encountered at the press, the century city center of fucking Karen came in there. Tell me. With her kid. Give me a description. What did she look like? What is she? Bad haircut?

Starting point is 01:01:43 Yeah. I mean, she has, she was, she was like a, she was like a rich Karen. So like, you know, she's spent some money on her hair. She probably like had spent, she probably had too nice of a haircut. She spent like $600 at her hairdresser. Her hairstyle wasn't really healthy. Please tell me you weren't a Kevin.

Starting point is 01:01:57 I wasn't a Kevin. No, I was a, no, I was me. I was, I was a neutral party and I had picked up my order. And I was the worst one of all. Yeah. I was putting more. Yeah. No, I, I, I did nothing.

Starting point is 01:02:12 Kevin Dylan. Yeah. Kevin Connelly. Look, I got this new, Papa's got a brand new bag. I got this, this Gelson's insulated bag that Natalie picked up that is delightful. And so I was packing my bat, my bowl and my juices into that. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:26 As this was happening, this Karen comes in and she's complaining about a bowl she got earlier. Yeah. So she's had time to go like she went and ate it. She ate it. She could have cooled down and said like, you know, but no, she came back to complain about the bowl and she was like, she like, first of all, it's a fucking hundred degree day.

Starting point is 01:02:44 You're working in a fucking juice shop at the mall. You're making minimum wage at the mall. Yeah. Dealing with rich people who have juices. Yeah. And this fucking asshole is just like, and like she was mad about the berry count. She thought there weren't enough berries on her bowl. Then do it in person, then say it when you're there, go, hey, can I get more berries?

Starting point is 01:03:03 Exactly. And then take a second to look at your, or to look at your berries. Yeah. Ask for another scoop. And you know what? You can be, you can do that in a friendly way even. Yeah. Like, hey, I'm so sorry.

Starting point is 01:03:12 Yeah. God, what a fucking monster. Anyway, it, it, it was. Was she, was she really yelling? She was just like, she was, she was just like trying to like, like, like, like, I know where there's not a line here. Like she was like, kind of like going that sort of attitude. Like I get it.

Starting point is 01:03:25 Cause you don't have enough berries in your bowl. Why would you do that to us? I don't know. It's also like. This is why you were, you were packing. You were saying you, I was packing. I was packing it up. So I did like, look, the only, the, the small gesture I did is I put some extra cash in

Starting point is 01:03:39 the tip jar after that guy. I don't do that. It's not the only thing you're packing. But it was just like so. Okay. The person's like, lady, I work at the fucking press juicer. Like at the mall. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:03:48 You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. I always got one of those press juice bottles. It's packing somewhere else too. Okay. You don't need to. Big boys. This is kind of, this is kind of perfect shade for us.

Starting point is 01:03:59 I'm a wellness shot and you're one of the press juice bottles. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Nice. I was, I was going to say my, my Kevin, I tried to do a Kevin Dillon impression and it was just, uh, and, and, and, and my Kevin Dillon person was, was, uh, was just, what's this? Oh my God.

Starting point is 01:04:18 I forgot his name. He sounds like this. The guy who I do all the time. Hey, it's me. Rodney Dangerfield. Right. Dangerfield. Okay.

Starting point is 01:04:28 Rodney Dangerfield all the time. I mean, all the time. It's not all the time, but I was trying to do Kevin. No, but it's, I think I was trying to, I was trying to do Kevin Dillon. I was like, Hey, I want an acai bowl. And I was like, I sound like more like Dangerfield dude. It's pretty good. There's a little Dangerfield crossover with, with Dillon.

Starting point is 01:04:52 Um, that sucks. But this place also just like my apartment has attracted some houseflies. Does that happen to you guys in the heat? Yeah. You get, I got, I got some house. I got ants and houseflies. I got some houseflies this last week. Hopefully Brendle fly doesn't show up.

Starting point is 01:05:08 I'm literally ordering one right now. I'm going to get one delivered while we're talking. This is unprecedented. I love it. I'm literally ordering right now. I love it as well. But, um, just, just like my house attracts, uh, flies. And like I said, hopefully not a Brendle fly because that will freak me out.

Starting point is 01:05:23 But press juicery attracts Karen's wise. I think that that's like, I think so. I think that's a place. And imagine if Brendle fly was in your house. But they're saying it's eight ounce. Sorry. So you didn't get the eight ounce last time.

Starting point is 01:05:38 Yeah. That's what they're saying. Wow. So it's a bigger bowl than what we got. Yeah. You can upside some of the bowl. I take a picture of it before I hate it. Are you using the app or are you using the mobile site?

Starting point is 01:05:51 I'm literally on my phone. I just Googled it. I'm a psychopath. I'm a monster. No, no, this is, I was going to say, you're not that. You're, you're, you're a, you're a lovely person and a wonderful guest. The, I was going to say that the, that you should use the app because the app isn't crap and has a nice discount for a first time order.

Starting point is 01:06:14 Uh, you get 25% off of your first, first order and also you get one free juice. So this place that's pricey, you can get yourself a bit of a discount. I'm going to do that right now. God, this is so exciting. God, my life is really working out. I want, I want nothing to do with a nefarious first order. That evil first, evil original first order. I'm getting it right now so I can order while we're talking.

Starting point is 01:06:41 Wow. I love it. That's the kind of focus. That's the kind of addict you're dealing with that was like, no, but I need it right now, even though I'm actually like my job for the moment today, right? That I'm doing my work, but I need it. So that's what's happening. This is part of your job.

Starting point is 01:06:58 You're doing it. This is part of my job. It's the commitment. I hope, I hope it arrives before the episode ends. That would, I can't imagine that it will. I don't think that there's any world that it will. I will say this. Well, remember we go annoyingly almost too long.

Starting point is 01:07:12 Listeners don't even want as much episode as we give them. Oh, believe me. I do. Like the bachelor runs two hours. I give them like nine hour breakdowns of hairless people looking for love. I understand. I want to say this. Just to get through with the bowls, the bowls were a home run and mine had plenty of berries

Starting point is 01:07:32 on it. I wish that they didn't put strawberries on there, but there was ample berries. It was great. And I, look, if this was a one-stop shop and they just made this bowl, I'd be like, hey, this is, I mean, press Bolary. They're weirdly on the food apps. There are like things that say acai bowls. And they have, and it's pressed basically.

Starting point is 01:07:58 But why is there's a whole other element to this place that we're not talking about. Let's talk about the juices. We got to get into the juices, the juice world. So I got myself the juice starter set, which is a six pack. That comes with the following juices. The citrus too. This is for people who have never had juice before. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:15 You're just getting started. Want to see what juice is all about. They're toddlers. They're just fresh off. They're fresh off. Rusty. Little baby carrots. It's aimed at toddlers.

Starting point is 01:08:26 Okay. Great. The citrus too. The vanilla almond non-dairy milk. Green. How's that? Orange turmeric juice. I'm about to taste that.

Starting point is 01:08:34 It's one I haven't had yet. The roots three and the greens three. So you get two different greens. Okay. You get two slightly different versions of the greens. But I did have the, on our previous episode, the Doe Boys Double, I did have the orange turmeric juice. That was delightful.

Starting point is 01:08:46 I thought it was really refreshing. It kind of had a, like a tang quality to it. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know if you liked tang, but I used to like tang as a kid. Who don't like tang? That was great. What's wrong with you? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:01 Yeah. It was like grown up tang. And I also had a post-workout recovery shot after my workout. Wow. My issue there is that it like, I was trying to remember. Yeah. I got very vascular. I was trying to remember the name of the, that, that colds.

Starting point is 01:09:16 What's the cold tomato soup? I couldn't think of the name and I still can't think of the name. Gaspacho. Gaspacho. Yeah. That's what it was. Gaspacho. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:26 For sure. It kind of had a Gaspacho character to it, which I didn't find super pleasant when I was like dehydrated. Yeah. It's pretty rough. So I didn't love it. And too pricey. The shots are, well, also here's a, here's my impression of a baby Karen.

Starting point is 01:09:40 Yeah. This breast milk is too warm. I want to talk to the manager. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. The manager is, the manager is the mom, I guess. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:51 I had a shot as well. Why? In my shot, especially after my delicious bowl, my shot was also not 100% pleasant. I don't think any of them are pleasant because like the wellness shot is the, is the cayenne and ginger. It's like, it's like, you take that and it like clears out your sinuses. I got the reset shot wigs, which is pineapple, apple cider vinegar, ginger and lime. And that apple cider vinegar will, will wake you up.

Starting point is 01:10:22 It's, it's a, the apple cider vinegar is, is a, I don't know if you've ever had a shot of apple cider vinegar, but it really takes over. It's disgusting. The flavor profile. It's supposed to be very healthy, but it does not feel good. It really takes over the flavor profile of this, of this shot because there's, you know, there's a few different ingredients in here, but, but, but that, that apple cider vinegar packs a punch.

Starting point is 01:10:47 Now, did it make me feel better? I don't know. You know, like, you know, I can't really tell. It's not like instant, you know, it's not like a, like an instant thing where, where you feel better after taking, uh, taking one of these shots, but it's got a lot of good stuff in it. You know, so, uh, I feel good with my little shots.

Starting point is 01:11:05 Like I feel like I've earned myself a power ball. Right. Like I've earned another power ball. I had pizza yesterday and I felt, and I felt like shit really just felt like garbage. And the power bowl today, I'm like, this is making me, it's like, it feels like my body is kind of a little bit back on track. Things are moving down there. This, this, this reset shot is filling a little off track.

Starting point is 01:11:30 This potent mix of pineapple, apple cider vinegar, ginger and lime is designed to help you restore and replenish your system from the inside out. I don't know what that means, but that's what it says. Uh, but I think all of the shots are a little bit tough. The juices on the other hand, like it's just this mix of like some just tastes good. Like the vitamin C ones are going to taste better. Like, uh, the fruit juices and then like some of like the roots and the green juices are going to, are going to be a little bit more about, um, you know, health and,

Starting point is 01:12:02 and not, and sometimes not taste as good. But can I get into what I ordered? Yes. I just placed an order. Yes. You placed it. It's coming. Did you get the same?

Starting point is 01:12:15 Power bowl. I didn't even try to add a star root. No, no, no, no, they're not going to give it to me and I don't want to set them up for failure. I like, so here, here, here are the juices I got. Like I said, I got the, the, uh, I don't know how to say a four mentioned a four mentioned after aforementioned aforementioned aforementioned aforementioned aforementioned. That's exactly right. aforementioned.

Starting point is 01:12:39 This perfect. The aforementioned aforementioned aforementioned. All right. The aforementioned. I got the aforementioned. Yup. Uh, reset shot. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:12:55 And then I, and then I also was sipping on, um, for a little bit here. The aforementioned. The aforementioned lime power greens juice. So I did this. This is a limited time greens juice and it was, and I, I'm a lime guy. I'm a fan of lime. You love lime. Lime power greens juice, uh, which has cucumber, apple celery, spinach, lime,

Starting point is 01:13:17 mint, bok choy, collard greens, green charred, took a sip of it. It tasted so much like every other, uh, greens juice I've had, which is just like very strong tasting greens taste. And knowing that my stomach is going to be a little upset later, but not bad to like get all your greens in. It's not a bad tasting juice. It's also not. It's also not great.

Starting point is 01:13:40 Um, I also got a citrus too, which is apple pineapple lemon juice. I've had this before it's in my fridge unopened and that's a good, the citrus too is great. It's a lot of vitamin C wise. I don't know if you have it, but the citrus too is a tasty, tasty drink. Apple pineapple. I do have the citrus too. The citrus.

Starting point is 01:13:58 Yeah. It's apple pineapple, lemon and mint. All stuff you like. Good stuff. Very, very good drink. It's, it's a, that one's, that one's I would say maybe the most like purely refreshing of this current batch. I mean, it's just, it's, it's a, you know, the issue with the, and I have two

Starting point is 01:14:13 versions of two for idols of the green strings. I got the greens two and the greens three. The issue with these is that I like these, I like these and, um, and the greens three, the difference is they have the same set of ingredients except the greens three also has ginger. So I prefer the green, the greens three because I think that ginger helps wake it up. But the issue is, and this is like maybe an indictment of juicing as a, from

Starting point is 01:14:36 a nutritional standpoint in general, which is that, you know, you're drinking apple, cucumber, celery, spinach, kale. These are very fibrous fruits and vegetables, but you're not getting dietary fiber through this juice because that's all been, all, all been filtered out. And what you're getting instead is just the sugar. So I mean, you'll, you're getting it from a, like, you know, you're getting all the vitamins and antioxidants and such, but you're not getting the same

Starting point is 01:15:02 benefits of like eating these vegetables. And again, these fiber strengths really do move through me, but dietary fiber one gram. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. Very little. Press greens 1.5.

Starting point is 01:15:16 It said one gram. Yeah. Very little. All the greens just are like, you know, they're, they, if I'm going to get, if I'm going to go and get a, like, first of all, I'm also like usually getting this for vitamin C. I'm not usually getting a green strength because I'm like, I need more greens in my diet.

Starting point is 01:15:30 If I do that, I'll get a salad or something. Yeah. So yeah, that's a better approach. The greens drink. I'm like, whatever, but the citrus too is delicious. I also got a strawberry basil lemonade, which I've had before. And the strawberry basil lemonade also to me is like closest to just being another just refreshing drink on the menu.

Starting point is 01:15:49 I got another lemonade, which is a little different. It has some health properties to it because it has turmeric in it. Turmeric in it. Oh God. I'm not, I'm not getting into it, but a mango too. Yeah. A mango turmeric lemonade. Wait, but you mentioned, you mentioned a turmeric earlier.

Starting point is 01:16:06 So you might want to note that. A mango turmeric lemonade. I mentioned turmeric earlier. Perfect. So I might want to mention that. Yeah. You might want to note, say some way of, of refer to the turmeric you said earlier.

Starting point is 01:16:21 Listen earlier in the episode when I said turmeric. The turmeric that was around. Emma, just do some smart editing here for God's sakes. Help me out. You mentioned again. Yeah. The aforementioned turmeric. The aforementioned turmeric.

Starting point is 01:16:36 Hey, well done. You fucking landed it. You'd landed that, but you pulled a sully. You landed that plane. Yeah. aforementioned turmeric. Oh, for sure. So anyways, the mango turmeric lemonade, not as tasty, not as,

Starting point is 01:16:55 but turmeric is supposed to be really good for you. You know, it's got some good stuff in there and for, for the way it tastes, I guess that the trade off isn't bad. But then again, like I'm still not sure besides the power bowl, anything here that I'm like trying to have to be healthy as far as the juices go, unless it's a wellness shot or unless I'm sick. So I'm like, I'm not going to get a mango turmeric lemonade for like the hell of it.

Starting point is 01:17:18 You know what I mean? Or like, because I want a healthy lemonade or because I want to lemonade, there's like no world in which I get that. But the taste was okay. I got a strawberry orange mango smoothie. That's more in line of like something I just drink in the morning for breakfast. That one is pretty good as well.

Starting point is 01:17:36 And then finally I got myself a wellness shot, which is the ginger lemon cayenne shot. And that is, and that is good for colds or whatever. Like that's a good one to get. I get it. But oh, I also got a roots three apple, ginger and beet juice, which is there any plus side to getting these root strength swags? I like,

Starting point is 01:18:00 Tommy, a root drink that you put a little beat or something in there. You're talking about clients with your body. Yeah. That'll fly through the system, which I'm like, see, like, I don't need the root strengths. I don't need the green strings. Like the thing to me is like the high vitamin C's or the ginger stuff when you're sick.

Starting point is 01:18:22 Like, like, look, I want more ginger in my diet. I know it settles your stomach. I know it helps you from getting sick. But I don't know about greens juices, root juices. I add the ginger to the greens juice. I can't drink the drink greens juice like on its own. So I'll get the shot and I'll put it all in a glass and I'll have to drink it all together too.

Starting point is 01:18:42 Oh, smart. Wait, which, which shot did you add? Thank you for asking. I got the greens 1.5 cucumber, celery, lemon, fresh kale, parsley, our friend's sea salt. And then I had the wellness shot ginger, lemon, cayenne, and I put it all together and look, I like to eat a lot. And so it's, uh, it's nice to like have some meals that are like,

Starting point is 01:19:07 not crazy. So, and it feels good. I feel it's healthy. I feel like I'm hydrating. And then I can enjoy the power bowl that I just ordered. That's, we'll be right. I like to go out and get like, I, you got to, I'm not a very tall gal, so I got to balance it out.

Starting point is 01:19:24 And, uh, it makes me feel like I'm being healthy. I do like the ginger part. I like that it burns a little. It makes you feel like you're getting your, like if my, if I'm run down, like after a flight or something, I feel like a little ginger greens will make me feel a little better. Love that makes you feel alive. It makes me finally feel alive.

Starting point is 01:19:42 Arden, have you tried the greens three? Cause the greens three has ginger bottled in it. Oh, um, I did another one that had, maybe I did. I ordered two. Um, it was only $98. So that felt like a good deal. And, uh, I might have, I think I got one that had cayenne and ginger. And, uh, look, you know, I think they're good for a national chain.

Starting point is 01:20:05 If you're feeling like you feel like you're traveling or whatever, and you want to feel healthy, like that's a good thing. But I'm really only going to be pulling my car over to the side of the road, and I'm going to see it to go run and get that powerful. That's what I want. For sure. That's the treat. That's the end of it.

Starting point is 01:20:22 And I'm doing that right now. That's like, it's that exciting. It's satisfying. It's filling. It's your meal. It's like dessert and the main course in one thing. And you don't feel disgusting. I love it.

Starting point is 01:20:34 Uh, the, the only one I didn't comment on of my juices is the vanilla almond, which is for me, you know, it's, it's gotta, it's gotta, you know, hey, I love vanilla vanilla is a flavor, but the, the, because, because it's mostly I don't like the look of that one. Yeah. That's the issue. It's very chalky. It's, it doesn't have a good mouth feel.

Starting point is 01:20:53 It's very medicine, medicine. It doesn't look, I want it to be more of like a milkshake and it looks like seawater. That's exactly it. Yeah. It's, it's, it's not particularly pleasant. The rest I thought were, were, were good. It looks like the pussy posse had a night in with that bottle.

Starting point is 01:21:13 Jesus Christ. David Blaine is about to make something disappear. Like, and they've all made a pact. Like there's some pact that happened. It's like a blood brother sort of deal. It's like, it's all kind of something that I don't quite want to know. Like a skull and bones pussy posse situation, but I don't want to know. I don't want to know.

Starting point is 01:21:36 And then David Blaine makes it disappear. We get it. And then David Blaine made it all disappear. Just slowly drinks it. How much of a trick? It's not a very good trick. You don't want to know. You don't want to, you really don't want to know.

Starting point is 01:21:49 I also ordered like a snack. I ordered the like crunchy dried artichoke kind of like, they didn't send it to me. They sent me instead. They were like, Oh, if you want that, I'll send you olives. It's like, well, that's not what I, you know, so I actually just trying again. I reordered the artichoke. So maybe it'll arrive. Well, who knows?

Starting point is 01:22:10 Anything's possible. There's, there's a thing that we haven't, that none of us tried that is available here, which is a soft serve. There's a vegan soft serve, a vanilla vegan soft serve with toppings. Why is that none of us, none of us did. I mean, it's basically what, what you're getting with the bowl. I mean, it's, it's sure that the base of that is kind of a soft serve. Ooh, now I need to look like it has vanilla.

Starting point is 01:22:34 There's vanilla vegan soft serve. There's vegan soft serve. There's chocolate vegan soft serve. Now I'm regretting. And an acai freeze as well, which is, which is like a. Oh shoot. Vanilla freeze. It's all plant-based.

Starting point is 01:22:47 There's, there's, it's all no dairy. So that's a, that's a. That sounds so, that probably has more sugar in it. Oh, nobody's buying sugar. The sweetened with dates. There you go. It says almond water, dates, vanilla extract. I can see some.

Starting point is 01:23:02 Oh, fuck. That kind of sounds like the, the, you know, solid version of my drink. That's basically the same ingredients. I wish I'd, I almost wish I'd done that. Instead, but you know what? Maybe you can add it. See if you can add it. You'll make another order someday.

Starting point is 01:23:22 Of course I'll make another order tomorrow. Obviously. We should, we should get to our final thoughts on pressed. Yeah. So Arden, you're a veteran of this podcast. You know how this works, but we'll each go around. We'll say give our closing argument if you will as you make your order, as you, as you add on this, this vanilla soft serve.

Starting point is 01:23:42 And, and, and so give a closing argument and then end that by giving it a rating from zero to five forks. You're our guest. We'll begin with you. Thank you so much. In conclusion, look who cares about juices. Maybe you're hungover. Maybe you feel like, oh, I can't fit in my pants because I ate all the

Starting point is 01:24:02 Doritos because it was hot out and I went to the parkettes. I don't know what you did last summer. But like, if you want to feel good and you need like, like to be like, okay, calm it down monster. Like have a couple of juices, but then if you want to be like, okay, but I am still who I am and who deep down inside. I'm a gal that wants a giant trashy soft serve dessert covered in like, I want, I want like a McFlurry, but I want to feel,

Starting point is 01:24:28 like I could, I don't want to hate myself. I don't want my pulse to explode out of my chest because there's so much sugar in it, but I still want the cold crunch salt sweet of a McFlurry of like, um, like a Heath Bar McFlurry, like with a salt crunch is sweet. Like, but it's not that like it feels good for you. Get yourself an asai power bowl honey. I give it, what is the number of maximum 10 out of 10? Five, five forks.

Starting point is 01:25:00 Five forks. Five forks. Wow. Purely for the bowls. Okay. Five forks. I don't care about the juices. Five forks for the bowls, but it was that good that I'm not deducting.

Starting point is 01:25:09 If that's all you have. Wow. Who cares? Give me the bowl was that good to me. You're getting a five. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

Starting point is 01:25:18 Emphatic. Five forker. Yeah. Platinum plate club right now. How do you improve on that bowl? It's a great bowl. It's a terrific bowl. It's, it's a great bowl.

Starting point is 01:25:27 What say you soon, man? I, and I'll say this. I actually liked pressed before I tried the bowl, which I only tried the bowl just, uh, like I said, like just a couple of years ago was the first time I tried the bowl. Um, and the bowls came after the juice. It was just a juice place first. Um, and I think that the juices are good. I think that, but they're just good in specific scenarios.

Starting point is 01:25:53 If you're one, if you're sick, like I said, or, you know, you need some vitamin C or afraid, you're getting sick or you're trying to get over being sick. That to me is like the, the big thing. Also, I guess like if you're like worn down, you haven't had enough greens, you want to do like a light lunch or just like a juice instead. I think that that's pretty good for scenarios like that. Maybe you're in the puny posse. You've had a wild weekend.

Starting point is 01:26:17 You need, you need to re-energize. Yeah. You can re-energize with some of these drinks. There's, it's a way it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it works in that way. Um, and then I think that some of like their good drinks, like they're, like they're lemonade or they're smoothies. Like that's a good breakfast, a smoothie drink, the lemonade, the strawberry lemonade basil is like a decent, uh, why is like you're saying like hot day drink.

Starting point is 01:26:41 Um, besides that though, I'm not like going too often. Unless really it's for this bowl. If I want like a good breakfast bowl, I'm going to get this acai power bowl. That's right. Good breakfast or lunch bowl. It's, it's, it, it, it is really, it's a really, it's, it's a home run. The bowl was a home run. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:27:05 Yeah. And the G, I don't, I don't, I honestly don't know where I would put this place if there was no acai bowl. I would give it nothing. I mean, I wouldn't give it. It's fine. Yeah. It's good for a juice place.

Starting point is 01:27:15 I guess it's for the bowl. It is good for a juice place. It is good for a juice place, but I don't think it will get into the golden plate club. I think it, I think for a juice place for what it's trying to do, I would probably put it in three and a half, but the acai bowl, I think it's going to put it into the, I think it's going to put it into the four, four club for me. Why is four or four spoons?

Starting point is 01:27:34 I guess in this scenario, um, that's, it's, it's, it's a, it's a four forker. I can't, I can't. Like the, the acai bowls are good. And I think that they do a good enough job with the juices that on a wide scale, this is like what they're trying to do. It's just so expensive. It is the most expensive. It's so fucking expensive.

Starting point is 01:27:55 Eight dollars for a juice is crazy. I know that they use like high quality ingredients and everything like that, but eight bucks is steep. Um, it's a lot and, and, and that makes it hard for me to say four forks, but look, it also is a place that I get, like, you know, I, I, I get it at once in a blue moon and for the reasons that I need it, it does a good job. So four forks. Like that's it.

Starting point is 01:28:22 I think, I think both of you, both of your cases are well argued. And I will just say that, that one thing, you know, one, uh, welcome one, I think the mixed blessing of the high price point is you don't get it as frequently as you would want. Right. It's like, it's because it's, it's so fucking expensive and you don't need 200 liquid calories, you know, daily or anything like that. You don't need to be doing that to yourself.

Starting point is 01:28:49 Uh, so, so if you treat, if you keep it in treat territory and get yourself a juice when you want a refresher or, or you want, you know, it's the specific nutrients that they're offering and, and treat yourself to those bowl. That's a, that's a pro bowl. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a really, uh, put that in the PBA because that's a, that's a, that's a pro bowl, uh, pro bowler. It's a pro, excuse me.

Starting point is 01:29:15 It's a pro bowling association for sure. Pro bowling league. Yeah. 100%. Uh, the, I think I know my score, but I'm going to decide it after I take this, this last shot that I saved for this very purpose. I'm going to see if this pressed energy shot of apple, lemon, matcha and Gorana sways my score at all as we await just outside the golden plate club.

Starting point is 01:29:39 Yes, chef. Wow. I love this. That's delightful. Wow. And you know what? It does feel energizing. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:29:50 I think I got to go four forks. Wow. Four forks. Welcome to the golden plate club press. That's insane. I think this will maybe be one that people are a little torn on, but you know, I don't know. I mean, look, it's when we did the dessert munch madness and I did Ben and Jerry's

Starting point is 01:30:07 versus cheesecake factory and I went in pre suede a little bit because you know, my heart belongs to the chief fact. You know, you know, I'm here for the down 11. 100%. I love it. But I, I go in, I try to be a very honest food critic. It's very important to me that I maintain my integrity. That's important to us too.

Starting point is 01:30:27 Yeah. Yeah. Very much so. I think the show is important. Yeah. And I, and I remember being shocked that at that moment in time, we were all, we agreed it was Ben and Jerry's one. And like, did I expect pre suede to win my heart like this?

Starting point is 01:30:44 No, not even close, but I feel like they earned it. I feel like they really earned it. And, and, and, and it's still a key to the fun trashy side of my brain. You know what I mean? Like, and I can feel a little holier than now because it's like, because it's like called the assai, but I'm not getting it because it's healthy. I'm getting it because I'm a monster. You know,

Starting point is 01:31:07 This would want a hundred with these. That monster need, but they're, but they're good for you. There's fresh banana on these. Exactly. Exactly. I don't, I'm not going to hate myself after it's like a monster that is like, yeah, I'm a monster. I love her.

Starting point is 01:31:22 Great. She's a monster. Who cares? There's no shame. I don't need to sit in the shame hall. For sure. As, as, as when I was a fat little boy, I would have loved for a place like this to exist because it's the kind of, it would have been a way for me to eat like, you know,

Starting point is 01:31:37 like what you're saying, Mitch, to eat fruits and vegetables in a fun context. As a chunky barb from Stranger Things kind of a gal, as a teen, a chunky teen gal, I would have met you right there and just shared a bowl right next to you. How delightful. And I would have been the fatter guy at a table across from you guys that you would have made fun of. It's so us. It's so us. It's so our personality.

Starting point is 01:32:02 Eating it like a dog out of the bowl. Like a pig. It's my face in the bowl. It's so us. It's exactly, it's three of us. I know. Not talking to each other. Just isolating.

Starting point is 01:32:14 No. Yes. Wow. Well, what, what, what, what, I can't, I can't believe it. I know. I'm a golden play club for the, for the rest. I can either. I felt mad picking it.

Starting point is 01:32:26 And you know what? I'm glad I did. You were right to do it. I'm glad I did. It's, it's got three. It's in the, it's in the golden play club. Yeah. It absolutely earned it, earned its place in the Howlett Halls, the golden play club.

Starting point is 01:32:37 That was our review of pressed. We'll be back with more dough boys. You know, Mitch, you're about to take a little trip abroad. You're going to Costa Rica. That's right. Why? So I'm going to Costa Rica with the family. It's going to be a lot of fun.

Starting point is 01:32:52 Going to maybe see a monkey. Oh, that's fun. Going to maybe see a bird. Just that. Just a one monkey, one bird. That's it. Hey, that sounds like a heck of a vacay. And you know what?

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Starting point is 01:33:25 Thanks to Babel's addictively fun and easy bite-sized language lessons, there's still time to learn a new language before you reach your destination. You know, Mitch, I've been taking some Babel lessons in Spanish a little bit. And it's, it's a great benefit just in terms of having some conversational knowledge of another language. With Babel, you only need 10 minutes to complete a lesson. So you can start having real life conversation in as little as three weeks. Babel's expertly crafted lessons are built around real life.

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Starting point is 01:34:18 In addition to lessons, you can access podcasts, games, videos, stories, and even live classes. Plus, it comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee. Start your new language learning journey today with Babel. And right now, get up to 55% off your subscription when you go to babel.com. That's babel.com. For up to 55% off your subscription, Babel. Language for life. Welcome back to Doughboys. We are with our guests, the great art and marine, lover of flavors.

Starting point is 01:34:50 And hey, it's time for a segment. Mitch, this is a new segment courtesy of our associate producer, Emilia Marino. How munch. How munch. How munch. I like this. Okay. I should add a little song for this or something.

Starting point is 01:35:05 This is a- Oh, you don't? I'll read Emilia's copy. No, I don't. I just thought now I should have had a little song or something, but I didn't prepare anything. Speaking of Pro Bowl, you reminded me of college football. I just watched the Manti-Tiao documentary. Do you see that on Netflix? The guy who-

Starting point is 01:35:23 I didn't see it. You feel really bad for him. It's the guy who- I mean, you feel bad for kind of everyone involved. He said his girlfriend died in some tragic accident while he was a star college player, and then it turned out she never existed or he'd been catfished or something. He was catfished, yeah. But at the time it was like-

Starting point is 01:35:42 I remember there was a- There was like a- When I was working at Finding Your Diary at the time, and there was just like- There was like a meeting. It was like, we got to do a Manti-Tiao video. And then we ended up making two Manti-Tiao videos, and they both went viral.

Starting point is 01:35:55 Like, they were both like huge hits. It's just like- What an awful time in the world. It's what they don't want in the world. Really bad, really bad. Yeah. Funnier die on top of its game is a bad time. Anyway,

Starting point is 01:36:08 I'm dating his fake ex-girlfriend. People are like- People are telling me they're like, Mitch, she's proven to be fake. She's not real, but I'm- Yeah. I'm just taking a chance for once. So we're gonna see what happens.

Starting point is 01:36:18 Yeah, yeah. People can change. People can change. People can change. It can become real. People, you can wield people into existence. You can wield people into existence. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:36:28 Just like I willed myself COVID earlier in the episode. It can happen. Oh, for sure. For sure you did. That was fascinating to watch. Why is- Hopefully this will be a Pinocchio scenario where my girlfriend will become real.

Starting point is 01:36:40 But why is- You should check it out if you haven't seen it. Let's get into this quiz. Let's hear it. This is how much- How much? This is based on an article about a reporter eating 50 Chicago beef dips to find the best one.

Starting point is 01:36:54 This is insane. Mitch and Arden are in the newsroom and their food reporter, Wigs, has to go around Los Angeles trying out food items to find the best one in each category. I just got excited by the game of it. I love it. This thrilled me.

Starting point is 01:37:08 I kind of wish that this was the scenario. We were saying before of, hey, if we were all kids eating here, I wish this scenario was real. This seems strong. The aforementioned us eating at the ice cream parlor. I wish this was real. aforementioned turmeric.

Starting point is 01:37:24 The aforementioned turmeric parlor. Okay. The two of you, I guess, are like co-editors in this scenario. And I'm the mean reporter. I'm going on the screen. Yes! Mitch and Arden must determine how much of each food item is humane for Wigs to eat.

Starting point is 01:37:37 Yeah. So I'm going to give you a category. Okay. And then you both collectively determine what's the correct, like, noting that this guy had 50 Chicago beef dips and knowing me as me, what is an amount I can eat, I guess, without dying?

Starting point is 01:37:53 Okay. I think that's the bar. Okay. Love it. Okay. So fun. Category one, burgers. 7,000.

Starting point is 01:38:01 7,000 burgers. Okay. I don't know. 7,000? No, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Now, he doesn't eat me, right?

Starting point is 01:38:09 You don't eat me, do you? I have not been eating me. I mean, I did have a big back for my birthday, but I've not been eating me. Okay. Is this within a day or is this, what is this? What's the time period? This is all, look, all I have is the copy that I was given.

Starting point is 01:38:21 All right. Okay, all right. So let's just assume you ate me. We'll just treat it like you'd be willing to eat me. I'd be willing to eat me. Yeah. In this scenario, look, I'll eat anything. I'll eat a cup.

Starting point is 01:38:30 I got, it's like going undercover to do a sting operation. I'll do what I have to do. I'll do the dirty work if I have to. So I'm willing to eat anything. How about? You claiming you'll eat anything sounds a little bit most dangerous gamey to me, which I'm nervous about. You'll eat anything?

Starting point is 01:38:47 Yeah. Maybe I'll want to eat the sweetest meat of all. We'll see. The sweetest meat of all. Okay. I'm thinking, what do you think? My gut says, I think more than 25 feels like it might really clog his arteries. It's a lot of burgers.

Starting point is 01:39:05 I'm with you. I think 25 is the max. I almost feel like he can't handle more than 20. I feel like he's a 20 guy. How many McDonald's cheeseburgers do you think you could eat in a sitting? I guess is a question that I am. I was going to spread it out over time. How many could he eat in a sitting?

Starting point is 01:39:22 Cheeseburgers? Yeah. McDonald's cheeseburgers. I'm thinking that like wigs can eat less than me. I've eaten 10 in the past, but that's when I was an active runner with early 20s metabolism. That was a lot. We're not trying to give you meat sweats. I think your idea is, yeah, the verbiage is humane.

Starting point is 01:39:47 How many of each food item is humane for me to eat? I like 20. I think the 20 was a good number. 20 felt like if you were going to spread it out, 20 felt like the right amount without like actually like starting to alter your blood work. Yeah. I think I've got a little bit of time because this is like, I got to file my report. You know, it's got to be copy edited. It's got to be fact checked.

Starting point is 01:40:08 Oh, in that case, like it's not over the course of a day. It's over the course of this article. Well, I don't know. I mean, what's the turnaround in a newsroom these days? I guess the news is, yeah. All right. Sure. Two weeks.

Starting point is 01:40:22 What's your report on burgers? 40. 40. 40. 40. I will do 25. Okay. 25.

Starting point is 01:40:30 40 and 25. All right. Next up. The next category. Is there an answer at some point? It's just an exercise. It's a scenario. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 01:40:40 Okay. All right. All right. All right. All right. That's fair. I mean, she wrote 10, but that was her example. Okay.

Starting point is 01:40:49 Okay. 10 was the number you said you could have. I love it. I love a game. It's a conceptual segment. Okay. This is like an improv warmup. I love it.

Starting point is 01:40:58 We'll do zips after this. By the way, Art and I, while we're out like, while we're out like, while we're out like trying to find good burger places, we also find a message from the Zodiac killer. So this is also part of it now. Wax is in trouble. Wax is in trouble. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:41:19 For sure. So the handwriting looks similar to Wax's handwriting. For sure. And we're wearing a lot of like grounds and a lot of like suits. Our lapel is pretty wide, but we look cool. We look cool as hell. I love that 70s reporter look. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:41:35 That Watergate era reporter look. Look at the glorious dynam situation happening. We're in these suits that you're talking about. And it is also 100 degrees in the 1970s. Oh, we speak. We are reeking. We're disgusting. Covered in acai bowl.

Starting point is 01:41:54 Next category. I have a new assignment. Yeah. I have to report on salads. Okay. How many salads can I eat without going mad? In the two week period. 43.

Starting point is 01:42:07 14 days. 43 sounds like an oddly like perfect number. Like that's a lot. That's more than meals in that span, it feels like. Yeah. It's like a manageable amount of salads. 43. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:42:21 You know what? I'm right around there too. I think 40, 40, 45. 45 is my answer. Do I say 44? That's the difference? Yeah. No.

Starting point is 01:42:32 No. Okay. No. I'm gonna stick with it. I'm gonna stick with it. You know what? My co-ed. I'm gonna go with my co-editor with 43.

Starting point is 01:42:41 Wow. 43 is the answer. Yeah. We have a good communication. Or when we have a disagreement. This one is going to be maybe a little bit of a thinker. Because, but I think the way to conceptualize this is as a meal. So I have to report on sushi.

Starting point is 01:43:03 How many sushi meals could I have? I think Amelia meant in a day. Because I think she meant that you could eat 10 burgers in a day, by the way. All right. Listen, how about from now on, we'll go in a day. Okay. We'll go in a day. Do you want to real quick retcon your answers for burgers and salads?

Starting point is 01:43:19 For how many in a day? All right. In a day? In a day? I think you could eat 17 burgers in a day. All right. 17 burgers in a day. I was gonna say eight, but we'll split the difference and go 13.

Starting point is 01:43:31 Right. 13 burgers. 14. 14. All right. This is clean. 14 burgers in a day. All right.

Starting point is 01:43:39 Salads in a day. You're gonna shake your pants. I was gonna say nine. Oh, man. I think, but I think I'll do it. Like I'll shake my pants for this because I gotta get the store. Okay. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:43:50 That's okay. So that's a part of it. Seven is great. Seven is pretty great. I think I could do seven salads. Honestly, I think I could do nine salads. You wouldn't feel good, but you could do it. I wouldn't feel great.

Starting point is 01:44:00 No, I could do it. Are you, so my question, are you wearing a diaper in this scenario? Yes. If I have to, yeah, to get the story. Okay. All right. All right. To get the story, you're wearing a diaper, but also you have a rattle for some reason,

Starting point is 01:44:17 but it's for the story. We've got our 70s diaper. It's a cloth diaper with a big, with a big pin in it. He's got a little tag on him that says, I'm a big boy. Okay. Great. And he's yelling at us, the co-editors, the co-eds, he's saying, he's saying to the, to the both of us, he's saying like, you're going to take this seriously.

Starting point is 01:44:40 This is a serious job as he's in a giant cloth diaper in a shirt that says I'm a big boy. Shaking my rattle. And then he circles back and he goes, I know why you're not at the big papers. There's not enough berries in this assignment. Sushi. How much sushi could I eat in a day? So is this like pieces of sushi? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:45:02 I was thinking of meals, but maybe we should be thinking pieces for this one. That's a lot of sushi, but I think you could eat more than 37. I think you could, I think you could get into the 40s. 42. I mean, right? 42. A sushi meal is what? You could eat 20 pieces of sushi in a meal.

Starting point is 01:45:20 43. So two. I've eaten 20 pieces of sushi in a meal. 43. Well, I think 43 might be a good number. I think 43 now is maybe the answer. 43 works. I think I could do it, especially if we're mixing up like rolls and nigiri.

Starting point is 01:45:34 Like we're just like having a little bit of, of, of all different sorts. Maybe some sashimi in there counts. Like, like 12 hours or 24 hour day. So I mean, you subtract eight hours of sleep time. You got 14 hours in the day to eat 43 pieces of sushi. I think you could do it. Easy. If you were doing yourself, Mitch, how many hours would you subtract for sleep time?

Starting point is 01:45:55 All right. So sleep time for me, I got about four to five hours of wake time now. Yeah. Also this fucking, the Zodiac killers also still giving us these messages. Now, lucky for my partner here, I don't sleep. Like don't talk to me unless I've got my 17 minutes. I'm always on the beat. People are worried about me.

Starting point is 01:46:22 Zodiac killer sent us another note, but I actually, I lost the note. I lost the evidence. Ordering us. I like try to give it to like his friend. Like he was going to hand raise the 70s. There was no like postmates or anything. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:46:37 We were giving, delivering our order for us. I need to go get our friend to go get some more on the note of the Zodiac killer. And I spilled soy sauce from the sushi on one of the other notes. So there's a lot of evidence. Yeah. For sure. For sure. But we're hot on the trail.

Starting point is 01:46:51 We're hot. We've got our DNA. We've just touched every, there's our food, our sticky catalene addressing fingerprints all over it. Every fucking thing. They keep sending it to us. And they like tall like, and it keeps saying, stop getting food on this. Like I will kill your cat or whatever.

Starting point is 01:47:09 We don't care. We don't care. Yeah. They better not touch fucking wall. You know what I mean? Oh, you think they're coming after me? I'll think again. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Starting point is 01:47:18 None of my watch. No, no, no. There was also one of the notes that, that I lost from the Zodiac killer was them confessing and giving their name. It was just was a confession note. So I would have been really helpful. I know. I would have been helpful.

Starting point is 01:47:33 So I lost that note as well. Then there was like a bullying note that was like, I want you both to get out pens and write this down. Everyone hates you. It was like really like specific. Like I need you to take that. You get out pen just in case you forget everyone hate. And it felt really like personal and very unnecessary.

Starting point is 01:47:51 Like, but it was the killer of like optimism or souls. He killed us in other ways too. It was not cool of the Zodiac killer. Yeah. He's a real asshole. Did I ever talk about in high school, I started to get threatening notes in my locker. Dear God. I apologize about that.

Starting point is 01:48:10 Thank you. That's how we met. Overdue, but I appreciate it. That's how we met. I got, no, I, like, I. Cameron Diaz? Well, Cameron Diaz, my, my, my school classmate may have been involved, but as far as I know, there's, there was one culprit who was ultimately identified.

Starting point is 01:48:25 But yeah, I guess, so I had like a little locker where I put my musical instruments in. And I opened my locker one day and there was a little handwritten note that said die white trash. Oh my God. That's scary. Die white trash. I was like, oh, it's a little ominous, but I was just like, whatever. And then, and then the next day there was one, there was another, another note, but

Starting point is 01:48:46 this one, all the letters had been cut out of magazines, like an old school, like ransom note. And it's, it's spelled out die white trash. Why would Cameron Diaz do that twice? I don't understand. It's the same bit. She didn't really heighten it. You know what?

Starting point is 01:49:00 But she was crafty. She went to craft class that night. She wanted to make a project. So she got some letters and made a, like a decoupage of your hatred for you. The next, then I kept, I kept getting these notes. This was like an entire week of school. The next day. Are you sure that this wasn't like one of those like notes that your parents give you

Starting point is 01:49:17 in your lunch? Yeah. I mean, it was next to like some orange slices. It was for his parents. A juice box. A Capri sun. A Capri sun. We're so proud of you.

Starting point is 01:49:27 Yeah. My acto cooler. It was, no, this was, this is when I was in high school. So this was, I was bringing lunches, but it wasn't in my lunch. But then I got, I got another one that was, then I got another one that had like a, like a, a, a bullet shell, like a, like a shell casing with this. No, Nick, that's really scary. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:49:46 And I was like, and, but I was like, I knew it from Boy Scouts. This is too small to be a, an actual gun. This is like from a, you know, like a, like a pellet or something like that. Um, then I got another one. Then I got the, I got another one. This one, the decapitated head of a bird. The fuck? Okay.

Starting point is 01:50:04 Well, what the fuck? And then finally I got the, I got the rest of the bird with another dye white trash. That was the last day. What the fuck? What the fuck? That's really messed up, Nick. And I figured out it was my friend pranking me. He'd done this.

Starting point is 01:50:23 He'd done a week worth of, of insane psychopathic. I mean, I don't know whether to put a ring on it with never see him again. How did that alter your friend killed the bird for this prank? He said the bird. When I talked to the lady, she said the bird was dead. He found a dead bird. Wait, how did that? I guess he dismembered the bird quote unquote.

Starting point is 01:50:44 I don't know when I talked to him later. Yeah. When I looked in the mirror and had a conversation with my psyche. Yeah. Why did you do that, Nick? Yes. Why did you do that to yourself? Why did you do it to myself?

Starting point is 01:50:56 Were you still friends with this person after? Oh yeah. Good friends. Never friends for years. You know what? Jesus. Part of me respects the stick too. Did they eventually confess?

Starting point is 01:51:07 Like how did you find out? Here's what I was like trying to figure out. Like how is this person getting, putting stuff in my lock? At a certain point I was like, okay, you could slip a note into a locker, but when it's like a shell casing, I'm like, you can't just get that into a locker. You can't just like put that through the, you know, the vent. Someone had to have access to my locker. And so I figured out that he must know my combination.

Starting point is 01:51:27 And so I switched. He was like a friend I'd like hang out with. And so I switched locks because like when I finally got to the point where it was like, oh, there's some sort of, you know, there's a dead animal in my locker. I switched locks. And then when I was putting in my combo in the new lock, I noticed he was kind of like hovering nearby. And I was like, wait a minute.

Starting point is 01:51:46 It was fucking you. He's like, ah, you got me. I respect his longing. You got me. I carried that dead bird into school. I respect the law game. Like he was not, there was no, he was not going to give it up. Yeah, really.

Starting point is 01:51:58 It was what? I respect his intuitiveness. Why did you see that in the private chat? There's a couple of messages. Did you see that? Yeah. There's a message from Spoon Man. Die White Trash.

Starting point is 01:52:07 Oh, it says my name. It says your name. And then there's another emoji. There's a bird emoji. Then there's a bird emoji. There's a pigeon head. Wow. Wow.

Starting point is 01:52:16 All right. Next, next one. I guess that should have, I guess that should have like traumatized me or something. I just kind of took it in stride. I was like, that is weird. You know, it kind of makes me like your, I don't know. If I liked the person, it would make me like them forever. Like, oh, you're a psycho.

Starting point is 01:52:34 Like, if I was already, if it was somebody that I, who just was a rascal that I loved, it would, it would steal the deal of friendship with me forever, I think. I would love it. He was, he was a funny guy. Yeah. And so like, I think it was, it was like kind of like a fun, but it was like, it was clearly pushed a little too far, but also through the prism of like, when you're 14, 15. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:52:56 That is the, that is, you're kind of an edgelord, I think, like, especially if you're a boy that you, that is the thing you think is funny. So I don't know. I appreciate it. I'm gonna give him, I gotta say in the big ledger in the sky, I give that a thumbs up. I think that it doesn't surprise me that all your friends are psycho because you're, you're judged by the company you keep it. You're psycho.

Starting point is 01:53:22 So friends are lovely. All right. Next one, Wags. Okay. We'll do a couple more. Philly cheesesteaks. Oh, yeah. This is how many cheesesteaks can I put down?

Starting point is 01:53:30 God, that sounds so good. I'm on the cheesesteaks beat. How much do you, I want one. I think five max. Five is also like a lot. They're so fucking big. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:53:38 If you're finishing them, it's a lot. Seven. Seven is like, I've like, I've done like a little Philly cheesesteak store, little Philly cheesesteak tour. Yeah. And. It was too much. All right.

Starting point is 01:53:53 We'll give him six. Bleed the D. Six is good. I think you can do six. We'll split the D. Six. You're in trouble. That is a rough day.

Starting point is 01:54:01 That sounds so good though. Just picture one right now. So good. Should I, should I not have told that story? Is that going to upset people? I love it. Okay. If the bird was already dead, if the bird was already dead, it's fine.

Starting point is 01:54:16 Yeah. No, he didn't kill me. Let's just go. Let's just go. You also didn't do anything in this scenario. Maybe you are traumatized by this. Okay. It's fine.

Starting point is 01:54:25 And that's how you get into comedy. Yeah. I won't tell the story about the guy who was bare-ass jacking off next to me in a bathroom stall then. I won't tell that story. Wow. That's exciting. Because that one might upset people.

Starting point is 01:54:40 Yeah. Sitting on the floor jacking off. All right. That's fine. Next one. This is when you went in for the interviews for the Pussy Pussy. Oh shit. That man's name, Toby McGuire.

Starting point is 01:54:48 And then the Spider-Man kissed under the stall. I reached up and over. He kissed me upside down. And you were a Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten Dunst. And that's how he got in. Pants, socks, and shoes completely off. Wow.

Starting point is 01:55:04 Just sitting bare-ass. Jesus. Fucking cranking it. Next up, tacos. How many tacos? Oh my God. I love tacos. I do love tacos.

Starting point is 01:55:12 Oh. I love tacos. Yeah. I was going to say like 38. When I was in college, we did the Grande Mail Challenge, which was the Grande Mail Challenge was five hard tacos, five soft tacos, a bean and cheese burrito, and a Mexican pizza, and a nachos Bel Grande. That was the back in college when we did it was the Grande Mail Challenge.

Starting point is 01:55:35 And there was one guy who got it all down. I think, did Luke, did Hoover do it? One of the Poovers, Luke, or did Novik do it? It sounds like a Poover. That sounds like a Poove move. I think it might have been a Poove move. But they also, I think it was a Poove move. That's definitely a Poove move.

Starting point is 01:55:49 That sounds just like the Pooves. Novik was a great eater. Poove did throw up. I mean, someone threw up afterwards. That's a Poove. Which Poove are we talking, by the way, because I met their multiple Pooves. Luke, did you meet Luke? Can I?

Starting point is 01:56:04 Are one of them available? Can I become a Mrs. Poove? Sadly, I went to the second Pooves, not sadly, it was a good thing. I went to the second Pooves wedding this summer, so both Pooves are married off. Can't be Mrs. Art and Poover someday. All my life will be to shit. Are you kidding me? They were both good eaters, Novik and Poove.

Starting point is 01:56:28 I'll say this. I got all the tacos down and maybe the burrito. But the burritos are a whole lot of things, and maybe you're adding in a rice. You're adding it. You're adding burrito in. Yeah, it's true. It really alters the equation. I mean, 100%.

Starting point is 01:56:43 I was going to just say, the 10 tacos themselves were harder than you think they were. But there was something back in the day, because you're doing a hard shell. You're probably doing a Taco Bell situation. Now, the world is the corn tortillas. If you're doing a corn tortilla maybe three times. Are we talking street tacos? Street tacos, people lose 75. If I'm reporting on tacos, I feel like that encompasses a lot of different types of tacos.

Starting point is 01:57:05 But yeah, I'll get like six tacos from a taqueria. He should literally be able to do like 43. And it's over the course of the day. I think 43. I think you could do 43. My meal challenge was within an hour. 43 is so many tacos. Fine, 37, including street tacos.

Starting point is 01:57:23 Breakfast, tacos, lunch. You're telling me. You can't do 12 for breakfast, 12 for lunch, 12 for dinner, and one for dessert. Come on. 37. I think you could do 37. I agree with 37. I have a 10 jack-in-the-box tacos and fries in a meal before.

Starting point is 01:57:37 Thank you. Those are substantial tacos. I could easily do 37 tacos a day. 37 in a day? I honestly don't know if you could do it, but I'm thinking for myself. But the street tacos are nothing. Street tacos are nothing. I could do it.

Starting point is 01:57:49 Of course you could do it. I also love tacos, so I'd be in a hog happy. I could do 37 tacos in a day. You know, Arden, you have the assignment. I would love to do 37 tacos in a day. What the fuck? Fuck yeah. Wait, I thought we both get the assignment.

Starting point is 01:58:04 Are you jealous? You think you can't do 37 tacos? You think I can take you down? Obviously I can. I'm splitting up Woodward and Bernstein. They don't call me Piggy Smalls for a reason. Come on. Every time I go to a restaurant, people are like, that's too many plates.

Starting point is 01:58:20 And I'm like, yeah, that's what I want. And then they're like, oh, you, and I'm like, yeah, I eat. There we go. I can eat too, but I now I'm off the case. And you know what? We just got the last thing from the Zodiac hill where it says, the last note says die white trash. It turns out the Zodiac killer is just another one of Y's friends messing around.

Starting point is 01:58:43 Oh boy. That's classic. Oh man. Was it Poivier? That's Poivier. That's West Coast poof. He's the French cousin of the poofs. One last one.

Starting point is 01:58:55 Yeah. And this is fitting. Okay, I'm back on the assignment. Okay. Given your origins on the podcast, Arden. Cheesecake. Wow. How many pieces of cheesecake could one man, one noble reporter eat in a day?

Starting point is 01:59:08 Now let me be very honest with you. I like you enough to tell you that when I was 19 and I lived in Chicago and one summer I just had a frozen cheesecake with a fork in it, the freezer at all time. And I gained so much weight so quickly that I don't want to do that to you and what happened to me. I don't want to happen. It was the cheesecake. So I'm going to say to you, I want to tell, I want to say you can eat a whole cheesecake

Starting point is 01:59:32 because you can, but the after effects, you're going to feel like such shit if you eat a whole cheesecake like I did. And I don't want you to do that. So I'm going to say four slices of cheese. Four slices. That's still a lot. Yeah. You're not going to feel good.

Starting point is 01:59:48 I think you could eat eight slices of cheesecake in a day, which is a full cheesecake. That's a whole cheesecake. Yeah. He's going to feel bad. I probably can. You can do it, but I wouldn't advise it. You're going to feel bad myself. Look, I'm saying, what point can we push him to so he doesn't die?

Starting point is 02:00:00 I'm like, could he do 12? Could he do a cheesecake and a half? Yeah, he can. He can. Let's do a cheesecake and a half. It's Christ. I'd rather have the burger assignment or the taco assignment. I'd rather do the sushi.

Starting point is 02:00:14 It's too much cheese. Cheesecake is, I would rather do the cheesecake. This is the one I would want to do least is the cheesecake. Me too. I would feel the most disgusting because my heart would be exploding out of my chest. And my ass would be just like expanding out of my pants in a way, like in me, like in real time, in real time, I'd have to get a completely new wardrobe by the end of the day.

Starting point is 02:00:33 It's wild. Yeah. Yeah. It's the cheesecake. It's a good thing I'm wearing my diaper and my big boy bib because I can get this messy. And I've got my like Annie Hall vest and my sort of like giant glasses, my giant glasses. Yeah, I'm smoking. I'm chain smoking like Virginia Slims through this whole thing, obviously.

Starting point is 02:00:54 If my ass is noticeably expanded in a day, I feel like I get some only fans off of that shit. Oh, people would love that shit. Cannon will. Cannon will. I was, you know, as a working actress for many years, have you been in like a like a period movie where you got to wear like old timey wardrobe or TV show? Wow.

Starting point is 02:01:16 Yes. And in fact, I can't say what it is. I'm doing one right now. That's amazing. And what's fun about it, I'll tell you afterwards what it is. I'll put it in the chat. What's fun about it is the first thing they do is they put you in the undergarment of that era because women's shapewear is different.

Starting point is 02:01:33 So the bras were shaped differently in different years. So I yeah, I've done it. I've done I've done a few period things and I can I have in the past, I used to have a bob, so I can sort of have like a 20s and I have a sort of a small face. So I've done that and it's really fun. I just I just texted you guys what it is. Arden put in the chat. Die white trash.

Starting point is 02:01:57 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what I tried to do. And you guys should probably die because you're white trash. Yeah. Yeah. That's right.

Starting point is 02:02:10 That sounds like that sounds like a hoot. I'm I've I'm not an actor, but like any I like it does feel like fun to like cosplay and old timey stuff. It's so fun. It's like a small proportionally people were how small the clothes on their bones, like the shoulders, every like just like this leave link. They proportionally they're so small. The props.

Starting point is 02:02:30 There was there was a there was a sketch that we did on birthday boys. That was about like soldiers or something like I'd like it and like I was talking to Dave and there was a cot and they were like, this is like an actual prop. It's like an old like cot from like like an old army cot from like back in the day. And it was like like from like the fifties. And I sat on it and I fell through it. I'm sorry that that happened to you. I fell through the car, but this this to me is this to me is I didn't want you all to feel bad for me.

Starting point is 02:03:04 No, no, nobody wants that, but I'm sorry that happened to you. I've broken things, but I'm saying like this is this is this is to me is like any old like I'm like it's going to be tight or I'm going to fall through it. My first job on a sitcom, they put me like a 1920s bathing suit. And I remember I had like such body image issues. I was like crying, you know, and then I remember sitting on a little table and in my fucking bathing suit, the table broke under. It was just like not the day like to be in a little bathing suit.

Starting point is 02:03:34 I sit on this table, the table breaks in front of us. Like you're just like, oh, and then you're in front of everyone. You're in front of a whole crew. What are you going to cry? And you just had to like gather yourself and be like, haha, it's fine. But you're like, and it's when people are nice to you, like, oh, are you OK? And it's almost like when you trip in public and fall, like, you know, and like people come to help you. I always want to lash out and like, yeah, you just want to be like,

Starting point is 02:03:55 fuck you out. And, you know, even though people are being kind to you, you want to literally like punch everyone in the face that comes to your aid, who's just trying to be kind. And you're so ashamed that you just want to attack and lash out. That's me. I want to guess. I want to guess the thing you're in. I put it in the chat.

Starting point is 02:04:16 Oh, but you can guess. I was I was going to guess Titanic, too. The Titanic, too. I am playing. I am playing Leo de Caprio. I'm playing Danny Noochie. I'm playing Danny Noochie. We must to get to America.

Starting point is 02:04:30 Wow, you're you're you're replacing the lead member of the P Posse. You're the P Posse, the P Posse. Mm hmm. It's you know, it's twenty twenty two. Everybody's fluid. They figured I would be a more exciting and more unusual lead member of the Pussy Posse. And yeah, I only date Victoria's Secret Angels now. That's who I am.

Starting point is 02:04:47 You're about it. Yeah, don't worry about it. That's who I am now. I love it. We're at an ending. Yeah. What what an ending to this to how much how much? Yeah, that was how much elegant, so elegant.

Starting point is 02:05:02 Arden, you I guess you won. I don't know. I didn't know it was a competition, but I think I don't want. Yeah, let's say I'm losing. Everybody was by losing. Thank you. This didn't make me want every food that we listed. What did you want the most?

Starting point is 02:05:14 I want the cheese. I want the fully cheesesteak the most. Me, too. I haven't had a cheesesteak in so long. It's not so fucking good. How many slices of pizza do you think you could eat in a day? I want I want to know that. Like the day knows pizza.

Starting point is 02:05:26 Yeah, I know. Specifically, Papa Gino's the thin one. I could eat more than a full pizza. Like I could eat a pizza. So that's I'm taking a full pizza to the dome in one sitting. Like my meal. So can we do two and a half pizzas? Can we do two and a half pizzas?

Starting point is 02:05:38 Yeah, I think so. That's eight slices. We could do that. We could honestly, obviously, probably do three and a half. But we would be like, oh, I could only do two and a half. So you don't sound like a total animal. And then you force the slices because you got it. Yeah, we could do the other half.

Starting point is 02:05:51 Twenty-four slices in a day. You could do twenty-four. You could put it in the trash, put soap on it, and then go eat it anyway. We all know that. Twenty-four. I think I could do twenty-four, too. I mean, look, come on. We're all hanging.

Starting point is 02:06:01 We're all avoiding each other in high school at the same fucking acai bowl place. We're doing the same. We're doing the same shit. We all know. You know what I mean? We all know. We all know what we're doing by ourselves.

Starting point is 02:06:12 We're not going to look at each other and talk to each other. We're all on our own. Three percent is doable. Obviously. All right. Very much so. Oh, yeah, obviously. That was how much, just like a restaurant, via your feedback.

Starting point is 02:06:22 Let's go to the feedback. And today we have an email from Brian. Brian writes, my question is about sudden food catastrophes. Have you ever been excited about a meal that you have just received and all of a sudden something unexpected or terrible happened to where it ruined the meal? For example, I was visiting a delicious hole in the wall sausage restaurant.

Starting point is 02:06:40 Could be a good movie setting B.T. way, by the way. This guy's fucking pitching. Yeah, we get us. He's pitching us movies. I wish I had the power to greenlight a movie about a restaurant, a hole in the wall restaurant. Yeah, what is it? It's a general meeting.

Starting point is 02:06:55 I wish I was that powerful. Could be a good movie setting B.T. Dubbs in Korea. So he's in a hole in the wall sausage restaurant in Korea where the wait time is long, but worth it. A person had just received their order of two sausages, one for them and one for their friend. The look on their face was filled with happiness for their meal.

Starting point is 02:07:13 But as they were walking to their seat, they dropped one sausage and a little bit of their soul seemed to have died that day. Yeah, that's right. So this isn't even about this. This isn't about this, the Brian himself or Brian themselves. This is about a person Brian observed. I think. Is it a good place for a movie?

Starting point is 02:07:31 Yeah, that's unclear. Yeah, what is going on here? A hole in the wall sausage restaurant in Korea? Like that's cinematic, I guess. My press juicery has said under five for the last 55 minutes. It has not even left the juicer. It's still at the Americana. They must be impacted with the heat wave.

Starting point is 02:07:52 You know what? I think this is, yeah. You know, I thought maybe the Americana is pretty great. Maybe they're just having some fun at the Americana. Maybe we're both beautiful. I mean, literally, maybe they're just riding the trolley. They're riding the trolley, seeing the movie at the AMC. I love a trolley situation.

Starting point is 02:08:05 Oh, yeah, a fun fountain. Dintai Fung, which we went to at the Americana, is departing the Americana. Our buddy Farley Elliott, who joined us for that episode, has been reporting on this for Eater, and they're throwing in a new dumpling restaurant, Caruso. The possible future mayor of LA, Rick Caruso, who owns the Americana, has swapped out Dintai Fung for a competing dumpling restaurant.

Starting point is 02:08:30 Meanwhile, Dintai Fung is moving across the way to the Glendale Galleria, so it'll be two competing Dintai Fung-style concepts within a stone's throw. I'll go and taste test things. I'll do a dumpling-to-dumpling face-off like a John Woo movie, but with dumplings. Do you do Dintai Fung, Arden? Have you been? I've never heard those words together. But, oh, yeah, what do you think I know?

Starting point is 02:08:56 Obviously, it's so fucking great. It's heaven. You would love it. It's, you know, like their signature items is like soup dumplings. So, you know, they're fucking delicious, but they've just got a they've got an extensive menu of obviously. Oh, yeah, delicious food from China. It's it's great, lovely, lovely restaurant. You know, I'm a hungry girl who loves flavors.

Starting point is 02:09:18 Taiwanese in origin, I believe. So the question is a sudden food catastrophe. I have had this happen. I do have a very strong memory of this happening to me in high school where I had one microwave burrito left and I made that microwave burrito and I took it out and I was so hungry and like, you know, I'm a spiller. I'll spill and I like, like, drop the. Yeah, the the fumble of the plate and the burrito fell on the floor

Starting point is 02:09:44 and it was unsalvageable. It wasn't like how bad was it? It exploded. So it wasn't just that it was like the burrito fell down and then exploded, you know, the floor side. So it was just it was a gigantic mess. It was like a drop diaper. And then it was and then and so it was like there was no there was no way to eat it.

Starting point is 02:10:05 I could have picked up some loose tortilla and had some like, I guess, bean leavings with it. But it was just it was unsalvageable. I was just that's a nightmare. Yeah, fucking sucked. That's that's one that comes to mind. I have one. My ex, who at the beginning of our relationship,

Starting point is 02:10:25 I was we I booked a play in New York. I was doing a play. He came to visit me for Thanksgiving and it was like in the first year. OK, so he came. We both got massive food poisoning. All right. So like I was doing this play. I had no I had no like understudy. I would still have to go, you know, throw up backstage and go out

Starting point is 02:10:46 and my corset and do the show. We had Thanksgiving off. We both but I was still like here I am. So I'd given him the it was probably the Noro virus. So I had it. Now I give it to him because I got it from I think Martha Plumpton, who was in the play with me. So I so so what the fuck, Plumpton?

Starting point is 02:11:07 What the fuck? I got so he was super sick. We was our very beginning of our relationship. We hadn't seen each other. It was supposed to be this magical time. It's Thanksgiving and like I'm all alone and I'm contagious. He's contagious. We're just take your time. We're both vomiting.

Starting point is 02:11:22 We both burned our arm and like those, you know, those New York steam heat pipes in the bath. We were vomiting so much that we would then like fall asleep because the wall and then wake up with like a burn on their shoulder from the fucking steam pipes. So I was like starting to get my appetite back. I hadn't eaten 36 hours. Nothing was open.

Starting point is 02:11:39 I ordered a turkey sandwich for Thanksgiving from Coasey. It arrived on the Coasey bread. It was literally just like bread and mustard. There was no nothing was open. There was no it was just bread. Oh, what a nightmare. And like that sucks. And there was nothing open.

Starting point is 02:11:59 It was like a snowstorm. I was covered in burns. My like new lover was like burning and vomiting and like shitting himself. I'm like, I'd gotten flimped in. I get I finally arrived. I was starving. I'd like been shitting and vomiting like in a course.

Starting point is 02:12:17 Fucking the guy went away. Didn't matter because the thing was so far was the only thing that was open. I couldn't find anything open but this fucking Coasey. And it was just a turkey sandwich with no turkey. It was just bread and I started historically sobbing. I just I couldn't deal. And then I remember watching like the only thing that was available on the sublet that I had, it was like a VHS copy of like out of Africa.

Starting point is 02:12:42 And then and then many years later we got divorced and I blame that meal. I blame that turkey sandwich. I got divorced because of that meal. Wow. Yeah, that is that's traumatic. Yeah, that was my food fail, Mitch. I always feel like anytime I'm like, I'm going to be in a relationship like immediately it's like, I'm like, I'm like, everything is happening at once.

Starting point is 02:13:05 Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the nightmare. Oh, no, no, no, it's never smooth sailing. It's never like, oh, good. Now we get to just have it be easy. No, it's like, you're going to vomit and get giant burns that might scar. Jesus Christ. Well, we know why I said when I was with my mom coming back from Wendy's, we

Starting point is 02:13:22 spilled a biggie size Coke that messed up the seat in the car and it started to go forward and nearly crushed me. So that was last, but I feel like besides that I'm trying to remember like things where it was like a food disaster where I've definitely like spilled stuff or like try to reheat my pizza and burned it. Like not only like old pizza, but like trying to read like heat. The pizza that is new and they're in the oven for a few minutes and then I forget, forget about it and burned it.

Starting point is 02:13:52 So that's always a bummer for me. Like my last minute food, I got, I don't have a story like you guys do. I don't have any, besides that Wendy's one. I can't think of one. Just recently I got a Chipotle bowl and there was no protein in it. So kind of the same thing, Arden. Yeah, it's bullshit. It was just a bowl of like, like rice and beans.

Starting point is 02:14:13 That's bullshit. Unacceptable. That's bullshit. But hmm, is there something specific where I last minute blue? No, you know what? Just recently I like staying out with friends is a thing that we're like a last minute where you're like, I'm so hungry. And then there's no, no food open anywhere.

Starting point is 02:14:33 I know why I know that you've had this before and you go to McDowell. We kind of had it in, in, in Milwaukee when we were happening in cream city. Yeah. It happened in cream city, but it's like that sort of thing. If you go to McDonald's and if it's like late, it's like 4 a.m. They're like, we're going to be open again at five. And you're like, I just like going home hungry. I'm just not going to have anything to eat tonight.

Starting point is 02:14:54 Yeah, I ordered my pressed juice a long time ago, right? It is now saying that it will be picked up. It's been saying it's been under, um, five minutes for the last hour. It's now saying it will be picked up at the Americana at five 15. In 15 minutes. Wow. How long ago did I order that? Oh, over an hour.

Starting point is 02:15:20 Like an hour. I feel like, yeah. Yeah. Delivery apps. There's people out getting slurpees today. Arden, you've got a, you're having a new food catastrophe in real time. It has been an hour. It was at four o'clock.

Starting point is 02:15:32 I ordered it an hour ago. Yeah. Can I cancel it? This is, this is fitting, this is fitting for this email. So it is. So what do I, do I, do I, what do I do? I think you just wait for it. Right?

Starting point is 02:15:44 You're stuck on one. I think you wait for it. If it's like a melted mess, then you, then. And I just throw it at the driver and I scream, I caught the Zodiac killer. And all you did, I'm so busy. Do you know who I am? I caught the Zodiac killer. My, I met friends with white trash.

Starting point is 02:16:02 I, you know, I'm dating Toby McGuire from the P-Post. I don't have time for this shit. You know what I mean? That driver's like, there's something with this pressed juice place and all these Karen's he, and he, yeah, that's right. This is what happened to the other Karen in Central City. This, this is your Karen origin story? This is what happened to your Karen, was she was on a food podcast reviewing it

Starting point is 02:16:27 and they didn't put it up very, she went and did a full podcast. And then she realized that she got, and then yeah, that's exactly right. And then she drove all the way back. She lived, she lived way more vista and she drove all the way back to Central City because she wanted to do a good job at her main job, which is being a guest on a, on a food review podcast and also running a do a high school newsroom, please, it's so busy. I do see us being annoying enough to turn someone into a Karen.

Starting point is 02:17:00 So I believe it's true. Oh, if anyone could do it, it's the dough boys. Well, it's not you guys. You guys are actually like, I feel like you guys are my cool friends that are like, Hey, Karen, be cool, easy, easy. Don't play, don't play a Uber driver. Like just eat, just get, it's not their fault. Like be cool.

Starting point is 02:17:17 But in my mind, it is their fault. Who's fault is it? If this, if this thing arrives and it's like a puddle of like blue ice, like, when was the thing made? Like, where did the error? We'll see what, then you can, you can get mad about it. I'm going to message you, we'll see what arrives. Is it frozen?

Starting point is 02:17:36 Or has it been sitting there for the last 48 minutes in a heat wave in Glendale, just like trying to go to Tommy Obama's store. Outside in the, in the outside to go area, riding on the trolley. It's been riding on the trolley, hoping mommy comes back for it. Well, I just realized, this is a real life food catastrophe. I've realized that most of my real life food catastrophes happen when I'm trying to bring a bunch of stuff downstairs or to my TV, all this food stuff at once.

Starting point is 02:18:11 That's when things go wrong. Yeah. That for me is what happens. And something's going to spill. Something's going to happen. Like my coke is going to spill into my mac and cheese or some shit. That's what usually happens. We're like kids that put our hand in the candy jar.

Starting point is 02:18:24 Some kids be like, oh, just take the appropriate amount. And we are like to shove it in and we're trying to pull it out and it's going to explode everywhere. We are all doing. I literally have to eat and I just put towels out. I'm like, get the towels. I've to cover everything in towels and then I don't eat it at table. Obviously, when I'm a monster, I eat it in the couch and then I have to wear

Starting point is 02:18:43 it like an apron as if I know how to turn on the oven, which I don't. So I'm like wearing an apron. There's like towels everywhere. And I still get food all over my couch on myself. It's not. Yeah. Maybe that's why I got divorced. Too much at once is the issue.

Starting point is 02:19:04 That's you just got to take your time with it. That's one thing at a time. But we can't. That's not who we are. That's why we're friends because we don't. That's not who we are. And we found each other. We're the junkyard kids.

Starting point is 02:19:16 That's true. We're the raccoon club. We were like junk. I like the raccoon club. We're obviously all raccoons living at the dump, but guess what? We've survived a long time. And we figured it out and we're scrappy. But we're cute and cuddly.

Starting point is 02:19:30 But we will cut a bitch if you deliver the us. Our nails are like Freddy Krueger. We're so cute. But it's like we have full fucking razor nails. Yeah. Yeah. We wear those claws. I do want to mention real quick, my my two, I think probably my two worst

Starting point is 02:19:51 spills, just because I'm someone who spills a lot of liquids. One is that I one is that I spilled like an entire fruit punch on my dad's laptop, my dad's work laptop. And it it like ruined the battery. Like you could still use a computer, but the battery didn't work anymore. So it had to be plugged into the wall. The other one was that I was in a work meeting. This is when I worked in the video game industry.

Starting point is 02:20:14 And it was like it was like an all hands meeting. So like it was a full conference room. And I was like in the back row standing behind in front of the conference table. And I had myself a big soda. Like it was like a like a like a large, like a big, like a 32 ounce pink lemonade that was almost full. And it fell out of my hands and I tried to catch it. And as I was trying to catch it, I kind of like sprinkled it all around, like

Starting point is 02:20:37 splashing on people and then I dumped basically the entire thing onto this coworker of mine who worked in the same department who was seated in front of me, got like a fucking entire pink lemonade on him, like a Nickelodeon Gax, he was fucking and he was nice about it. Later found out he was fucking pissed. He was like a can't believe why he dropped a fucking whole lemonade on me. That happened. I had my brand new computer.

Starting point is 02:21:00 I spilled any immediately, an enormous glass of liquid all over it. And then had to take it to the said Americana where my, my Acai bowl has been melting for the last hour. And they had it for like seven years because of the supply chain delay. But now it's back and look at us go just thriving like champions. Look at us. Why I didn't after you spilled that fruit punch on your dad's laptop didn't pee towns and invite you over to do the same thing to his laptop.

Starting point is 02:21:30 I'm doing research on a book. I am. Why'd you spill right there? My money's still right there, mate. Tell us know your food catastrophe. Hashtag catastrophe. Yeah, we'll share. We'll share some of our favorites.

Starting point is 02:21:46 And if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at don'twayspod, guest of dmail.com or leave us a voice mail eight three zero go to that's eight three zero four six three six eight four four and you can get the dough boys double our weekly bonus episode by joining the golden or platinum play club at patreon.com slash dough boys. Art and marine. What an absolute delight. Just just just one of our, our most favorite guests.

Starting point is 02:22:05 We have so much fun having you on here. Our listeners love you. We love you just as much. So God bless you for being here. We're making. I love your listeners. They made so much fun. Um, cookie, puss.

Starting point is 02:22:14 They made cookie puss art and cookie hair. Oh, yes. It was so great. Your listeners are the best. And they love when you're on my, well, you accept this rose bachelor podcast. No, I honestly, you can tell my enthusiasm is so pure. Guys, I get so excited when I get my email. Well, I got to move things around.

Starting point is 02:22:39 I can't do that on Tuesday. I can't possibly stop busy. No, whatever. Don't worry about it. So thank you to you and your fans and sweet Emma for including me and in your world, because it literally makes my jangles and my chemicals in a way that makes me like a little crazy. I feel like you guys really get it.

Starting point is 02:22:59 I think you guys know the real me that everybody else can just fuck right up. You know, will you accept this rose, the podcast you talk bachelor, bachelorette, bachelor in paradise. We've been on the podcast. Check that out. Anything else you want to plug? I mean, I have a book out called Little Miss, Little Compton. That's really fun.

Starting point is 02:23:17 And then I have a whole bunch of movies that I did that are coming up, but I don't know when they will be out. So I'll let you know. You can just keep me track. You follow me on Instagram. It's really, I'm more on Instagram than Twitter at Art of Marine. It looks like Myron. M-Y-R-I-N.

Starting point is 02:23:34 My mom read Little Miss, Little Compton. I told you this and she, she, she loved it. She was just like, it was, she thought it was so funny and she was just completely delighted by it. So check that out. I'm really proud of it. My friend said it should be called funding with scissors. I have a quirky family and I think, you know, I think it's a fun read.

Starting point is 02:23:53 I think it's a fun read for anybody that has kind of a quirky family. It's a funny town. It's a funny, my parents married on a dare, weren't dating and stayed married for 50 years. That's how it starts. Wow. And my dad ate cookies with a hammer. So if you like food things, you'll love the marine family.

Starting point is 02:24:10 Wow. There you go. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya. On the next Doe Boys double, just what the hell is Burning Man and why would anyone ever go? We find out from Burning Man Festival alums, Jordan Morris and her own Amelia Marino.

Starting point is 02:24:34 Here, Mitch and I discuss which of us would be more miserable. Tuesday, only at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description.

Doughboys - Pressed with Arden Myrin

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