Doughboys - Randy's Donuts with Gareth Reynolds

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

Gareth Reynolds (@reynoldsgareth, Next We Have) joins the 'boys to talk vegetarian living, eating on the road, and cat parenthood before diving into a review of Randy's Donuts. Plus, another edition of Drank or Stank.Check out Gareth’s new show Next We Have on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube!Get the Doughboys Comic at beourkids.comWatch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Marge_vs._the_Monorailhttps://www.latimes.com/brandpublishing/the-inglewood-renaissance/story/2022-01-28/randys-donuts-the-world-famous-marketing-stunt-is-a-giant-sign-of-yesteryearhttps://www.latimes.com/california/story/2021-02-26/randys-donuts-coming-to-costa-mesa-march-9-is-on-the-rise-in-hands-of-newport-beach-familyhttps://www.franchisetimes.com/franchise_news/randy-s-donuts-embarks-on-major-franchise-expansion/article_0c935230-ac49-11eb-bbf4-5f631d40d10b.htmlhttps://lamag.com/featured/ask-chris-randys-donutshttps://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Lard_Lad_Donutshttps://randysdonuts.com/about/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash doughboysmedia. Mcrispy strips are now at McDonald's. Tender, juicy, and its own sauce. Would you look at that? Well, you can't see it, but trust me, it looks delicious. New Mcrispy strips, now at McDonald's.

Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Hey, buddy. Did you miss the big news? The Dough Boys are doing a comic book. That's right, Dough Boys, the comic book, Mitch and Weiger Chew America, Crisis on Infinite Girths is coming soon. And you can pre-order it right now at BRkids.com.

Each Dough Boys comic comes with a toy pack. That's a random Mitch or random Weiger. You don't get to choose, but you do get to choose what you wanna do with it. Wink. These comics are legitimately the most excited we've been about something at Doughboyz in a while. The writer Alex Fehrer and the artist Fred C. Stressing

have done an incredible job. I mean, just look at this thing. You can see some of these pages here. And hey, I know somebody who's already enjoying it. It's a really, really cool thing that exists, that you can own. And we'd love it if you would order yourself a copy. So go to BRKids.com, check out Doughboys, the comic book.

We'll see in the funny pages, the not so funny pages. On January 14th, 1993, The Simpsons first aired its now legendary episode, Marge vs. The Monorail, famously written by Conan O'Brien. In the climax, as the hastily built monorail speeds out of control, endangering the passengers on its maiden voyage, train engineer Homer saves the day by fashioning a makeshift anchor that hooks on

to an oversized novelty donut used as a sign for a strip mall business. It's just one of many pop culture references to an actual donut shop and programmatic architecture example established in Inglewood, California in 1915. It's just one of many pop culture references to an actual donut shop and programmatic architecture example established in Inglewood, California in 1953 as Big Donut Drive-In and later renamed to its current brand. From its creation, its star attraction has been its giant rooftop donut, visible from

the 405 freeway and even from planes landing at nearby LAX airport. Measuring 32 feet in diameter and weighing over 15,000 pounds, tourists would make a special trip to Gawkat and later pose for selfies with a giant roundie, while locals kept coming back for the fresh pastries made from a house flour blend. The donut marquee has appeared in movies like Mars Attacks and Iron Man 2 and TV shows like Arrested Development and Jimmy Kimmel Live, and the donut has been reskinned to remote things like Ghostbusters, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and The Masked Singer. The Simpsons even referenced the donut shop a second time

with its parody Lard Lad Donuts, which would become a staple of both the animated and theme park Springfields. In 2015, Mark Kolegian, who made his fortune in his family's casino business, bought the little donut shop with a giant donut sign and has since turned it into a chain, adding espresso drinks and dozens of franchise locations throughout the American West, as well as South Korea, Saudi Arabia, and the Philippines. But is this LA landmark going down the disastrous

road of other beloved long-time institutions that embarked on quixotic global expansion plans, like Halal Guys and Dicky's Barbecue Pit? Whatever happens to the outlets, the original's Big Donut will remain a big draw. This week on Doughboys, Randy's Donuts. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, The Fridge to Terabithia, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Wow. I mean, I like it. It's pretty funny.

That's fun. The Fridge to Terabithia. Everyone can enjoy that one. I've been listening for many years. Thanks for making long train rides fun on the L here in Chicago, the city of heavies. Andre Callot? Callot? The city of heavies. Andre Calot, Coyote? The city of heavies?

Coyote, that's right, city of heavies by Andre. St. Andre on the dough scord, roastedbirdfuck.com. Hey, saints Chicago. Timely as of this record. The Pope. That's right, Mitch, this episode is coming out in June, so we're in the Frank Bank here. This will be a little bit backlogged topically, but we should acknowledge you, a good Catholic boy.

You have a new leader. Today's my Super Bowl, dude. Brian O'Donnell texted me today and wrote, Da Pope, which is good. That's pretty good. Jack Allison talked about deep dish communion. Oh, no, you misinterpreted it. Evan Susser, I did it twice. Evan Susser said deep dish communion,

which maybe I think that can convert Susser if there was deep dish communion waivers. I think it was wishful thinking on his part. I love these timest stamped initial reactions. These were jokes that came out in the two minutes after the announcement. Honestly. And this audience is hearing it a month later.

Yeah, sure. That's great. I mean, my thought about him converting was just on the spot. That's the truth. Mitch, you're right. It is. Why?

What do you want? It's a time capsule. It always is. It's fine. The pope is big. There's no way we're not going to be talking about the pope. So we might as well just acknowledge it. The pope is big news.

It's big news. Big news. Green smoke has come from the chimney. This is a reference to a frog pope bit of Mitch's in the past. That's what he's talking about with the green smoke. Which you did that when it happened, you were talking about green smoke, and I appreciate it.

That frog pope lives on. If I die, will you promise to make frog pope? Wait, but what do you mean? Make frog pope? If I die, will you video frog pope? What? Will you make the video of frog pope if I die? Oh, you want me to like produce that bit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like shoot it as a video? If I die too early, which, whatever, it would be sad. Of course it would be sad. I mean, Frog Pope would be so timely right now. It sucks, it sucks. You should have had Frog Pope ready to go. I know, I know, I know. You know what you should do?

Make Frog Pope now and then just sit on it for like another decade and then when there's an ex-conclave, you can bust it out, it would be perfect. Jesus, I'm. You know what you should do? Make Frog Pope now and then just sit on it for like another decade. And then when there's next conclave, you can bust it out, it would be perfect. Jesus, I'm gonna be Pope age by the time the next one comes around. Wow, I didn't think about that. I could be Pope. That's a weird thing,

because I certainly admit you and I are both sportos. You have the thing pretty early on when you start realizing like, oh, your favorite athlete is younger than you. Yeah. And then you reach the point that's where I'm at now where it's like, some head coaches are younger than me, which is very strange to think about. You're gonna reach an age where the athlete is younger than you. And then you reach the point that's where I'm at now, where it's like, some head coaches are younger than me, which is very strange to think about.

You're gonna reach an age where the Pope is younger than you. That's wild. I know, that's scary. Man. I watched, athletes are always younger than me. I watched, nevermind. What were you gonna say? I watched TSN toddler sports network.

I bet you have a drop to play. You ever watch TSN toddler sports network? I'll pop on some TSN. Amelia, play the drop. Listeners, don't be mad that I have stairs. Give me a house with stairs, long beautiful stairs. Climbing, heaving, snacks and jacks and anti-vaxxing. My home must have stairs, two stories are taller. Build them to the moon man, I'll pay cause I'm the spoon man.

Wags, I got stares in every state My stairs Wow. Mmm. Well, there you have it. I liked it. It was good. That was great. What the hell was that?

To hair from the musical Hair. My mom told a story about seeing, cause like the musical Hair, the live show, I have never seen the movie, but the live stage show, which I've also never seen, but I know what it is. It's like a hippie musical, and I guess for the final number, although the cast gets fully naked, they're all just like full frontal. And my mom talked about going to see that show, and she didn't know that was going to happen.

And she said, I had to take my glasses off. Oh my God. It's just scandalized. That's wild. Yeah. I didn't know that. I had no idea with the.... Oh my God. It's just scandalized. That's wild. Yeah. I didn't know that. I had no idea with the- Isn't that wild?

Yeah. Hey, we're gonna be in New York. Is hair still going or no? Yeah. No. Um, now I'm wondering if the hair they're referring to is- Is pubes. Pubes, yeah.

Maybe. Um, there is no, there's no, I can't find the email. I'll find it. Okay, we'll see. I got it. You got it? Hey everyone, some of us on the DoeSquirt collaborated on this parody of hair

to celebrate Mitch's lifelong love affair with stares. Enjoy Seagulls, Chicago Leah, and Chris Finke. Finke, wow. It's a collab. I love it. I like the collab. A Triforce of Dosquorders meeting to make that drop.

I love it. And Seagulls and Finke, both submitted drops in the past. Yeah. Of course we know. Wow. That was a good one. It was a good one.

Yeah, well crafted. We're off on a bad, where something's wrong here today. What's happening? What do you mean something's wrong? I think we're doing great. TSN was great. We all enjoy Toddler Sports Network.

I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm off to New York. That's right. So getting that, putting the will together, which now my will is just you making the Frog Pope sketch. Yeah, you got that sorted. I got that sorted. The flying is scary right now, Wags. I know that you're a little nervous.

Bad time to fly. I'm not particularly enthused about it. Drops of Bird Fuck.com. But I am enthused about our guest. Yes, we both are. First time on the podcast from We're Here to Help and The Dollop, his new podcast, Next We Have, is out today, June 5th. Gareth Reynolds is here. Hi, Gareth.

Hi, guys. Thank you for having me. Thanks so much for being here. Hi, Gareth. Hi, guys. Thank you for having me. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you. Maybe you end the 10th anniversary show like hair. Wow. Maybe that's the move. Wow.

Shock them. Let them see what they've always wanted. That's interesting. Yeah, grow it out. I bet it's grown out on both of you. I'll be honest. I feel like it's, yeah. I feel like, out. I bet it's grown out on both of you, I'll be honest. Yeah, I don't think so. I feel like it's, yeah. I feel like, yeah, just let it go.

We could do it. Oh my God. People will be putting on glasses. Yeah. I think there's a penis under there. Yeah. That's the kind of thing of like, when I've talked about like,

hey, let's put our feet up on the Patreon or whatever. I like, whether they like it or dislike it, either way, I'm like not happy about it. Like, neither one is good. Like either they're too into it and it's like, oh, our fans are just horny or they reject it. And I'm just like, oh, they think I'm repulsive. You'd rather horny, but just by a hair to be honest.

Yeah. But no, I get that for sure. Yeah. Yeah, you feel like a piece of meat. How are you, have you guys- But the money, if you got the money- The money's great. The money's gotta be good.

The feet. Yeah. The money's great, that foot money. Yeah. Well, actually on the new podcast, we have a thing where I'm trying to join like a foot fetish website. Okay. And I actually, it got a little out of control and I started sucking my own toes, which I

didn't know I could do. Oh my God. And then when I realized I could do it, I was like, well, fuck, we probably should do this. So I was like, and my face is in it, which is like not a lot of people are showing their faces. I'm trying any angle I got. Wait, so this is a,

this is specifically a community of foot fetishists. This isn't on an existing platform, like OnlyFans or Fansley or whatever. This is like its own thing. Yeah, it's like just for feet. Wow. Feet stuff, foot stuff. Okay. Yeah. I know that, I've said this before.

I don't think, I mean, I think that there is probably, I think there's probably a mindset with a lot of people that I'm a gross man in some ways, but I'm not a dirty guy, but feet, my feet are, my feet are kind of gross. For me, my feet specifically, I think are gross. Why, why are your, what is it about them? Just unkempt?

Yeah. Nail-wise, I don't really give a fuck. I do not have fungus, though, which a lot of people have fungus, too. I don't know if you're a, do you? No, I take really good care of my feet. I get regular pedicures. You do?

It's a self-care thing I do for me. I love it. I started doing it like five years ago, and it's great. I look forward to it. I'm just going to say the gross thing. I sometimes get athlete's foot. Yeah, I mean, I've gotten that in the past. That's a fungal infection, but it's very treatable.

It's all the stairs. That's really weird. Working hard. Maybe I need my breathable shoes. I don't know why I get it. I'm very flat-footed. That's another thing. So my feet just look like.

What is athlete's foot? It's just a little rashy, a little itchy? Yeah, do you not get it? I've never, I don't think I have. I've gotten it before. But I said the same thing about hemorrhoids, I was like, I've never had a hemorrhoid, and everyone's like, you've had a hemorrhoid.

Yeah, you've probably, you've had a hemorrhoid. Yeah, I've had a hemorrhoid. But did you figure out whether or not you did or not? Or do you still? No, I don't think I've ever had it. I think it's possible you have not had one. I didn't have one until later in life than I'd assumed. Yeah, right.

So it's possible you've just dodged a bullet. Sweating. Yeah. It's from sweating? Hemorrhoid or athlete's foot? Both, I guess. Let's go to both. I think they're both.

Isn't a hemorrhoid the athlete's foot of the asshole? It's a little different. I think more like a jock itch is like the athlete's foot of that area. Okay, none of it. Yeah, I've got jock itch is like the athlete's foot of that area. Oh, OK. That of it. Yeah. I got jock itch as well. And you can get both.

You can transfer it from your feet to your crotch. Really? Yeah. As boys, let's talk here for a second. Yeah, locker room. As the boys. Locker room time. Yeah, let's locker room it.

Ladies, turn the pod down. Hey, when you give that jock an itch sometimes, it feels really good. Am I right, my boys? Nothing like enduring. Nothing worse after. Yeah. When hey when you give that jock an itch sometimes feels really good Nothing like a during nothing worse It feels good to buy the the you know, the the owl Bundy is we were from married with children just sort of That way too much I do too. Yeah, I do too. I'm still I don't know what it is about Yeah, like nice warm. Yeah your own little mitten. Yeah, it's kind of just like... It's nice and warm.

Yeah, your own little mitten down there. My little guy peeks out. Yeah, well he's about to go to just off Broadway in Boston where he's about to shine with a chorus of... Oh, never mind. Cut that out. Oh yes, yeah, we gotta cut that. No, it's fine.

No, it's not. This episode's out later. Oh yeah. Oh right, you can say it. So many people are enjoying it. With a chorus of people of doubt. There was a chorus. Yeah, there was a chorus. There was a chorus.

Was there? We don't know. This does come out later? Yeah. All right, great. 2 Fifth. We talked about this. OK.

I might have blew it. I almost blew that. Not at all. But no. Well, what a show it was. Really was. Oh, what a show. Awesome.

Oh, the Boston show was the 10-year anniversary show was a blast. Yeah, good for you guys. Yeah. Yeah, we knocked it out went all out. Awesome. Oh, the Boston show was, the 10 year anniversary show was a blast. Yeah, good for you guys. Yeah, we knocked it out of the park. Pac. You were happy to be there. Oh my God, thrilled. Thanks for inviting me, by the way.

I didn't expect this to go so well. Wait, now I'm like fucked up on my timeline. I can't believe David Ortiz made an appearance. Big Poppy! Big Poppy was there. Why do they call him Big? He hit donuts into the audience. That's there. Why do they call him Big? He hit donuts into the audience.

That's crazy. Why do they call him Big Poppy? Do you know the etymology of the nickname? He's a big guy. He's a big dad guy. Big Poppy. It's just like purely he's a big guy. I mean, this is a great Boston trivia thing

that I'm like, why do they call him Big Poppy? I don't know. That's just his nickname. I'm pretty sure he gave the nickname to himself. Yeah, that sounds right. That's fun. That's a good one. That's like when Shaq nicknamed himself a big Aristotle. That was a lot of fun.

Yeah. And then every, he went to like every new, he didn't realize he was gonna get traded 15 times. He was like, I'm big, I'm big Shamrock. It was like, Shaq, stop. I liked big Shamrock. I mean, it was for me, it was a nice, it was a nice. Was that his last one?

No, he actually, after he played more after Boston, right? Or did he retire? I thought Boston was his final year. Maybe it was his final year. It was getting bad. It was bad, and also, we should have won the championship, and it was like Shaq was like too gassed. Well, I mean, that's like, but that's the, we don't need to spend too much time talking about hoops here.

But like, but yeah, that's the whole, the Cavs, the Suns, everyone was trying to get a good season out of, a healthy season out of old Shaq. And it's just like, but yeah, that's the whole, the Cavs, the Suns, everyone was trying to get a good season out of a healthy season out of old shack. And it's just like, there's a certain point. But with Boston specifically, like it was a good team that like, if he had been just a little bit better, it's not his fault completely, of course, but I'm saying like, that team could have won.

That team was like one of the top three teams. It's a big if to like hang on to. Jesus Christ. I'm just saying, like, you know, if ifs and buts were candy and nuts. Well, I can't believe that the Celtics have come back from two down to the Knicks and now won the series too. Eminently possible that they are in the NBA finals now.

If any of the, but again, we don't need to talk about hoops too much and we don't need to timestamp this too much. I wanna talk about next we have a little bit, which is out today. Fuck. Yeah, timestamp this too much. I want to talk about next we have a little bit, which is out today. Fuck. Yeah, timestamp, yeah. Hoops are currents, the finals are here.

Yeah, I know. All right, go on, just go on. The future's crazy. It's also possible that the Celtics are gonna get swept by the Knicks. So they're down 2-0 right now. They're not looking so hot. Maybe they'll right the ship, I don't know.

I'm going to the game on Saturday. Oh, are you? You guys might be in jail in the future from the hair show in Boston. It's true. It's possible. I mean, giving you my will before I get on a plane and before I go to a Knicks game with a Celtics hat on

is a good move. It's a terrifying time to have to get on an airplane and we have to fucking do it. And it's always terrifying to go to a Knicks game if you're not rooting for the Knicks. Yeah, well, you don't have to wear Celtics gear. You know, that's a decision you have to make. You think I should not wear the hat?

I mean, I think there will be other Celtics fans there, but I think people will flip you off. That's fine. Yeah. Hey, fuck you. Hey, man, I'm just a Celtics fan. No, your podcast fucking sucks shit. Ah!

You like the Celtics? All right, next we have the new pod, includes someone from the Doughboys family. Amelia is your youth correspondent. Yes, yes. Amelia is nice enough to join. It's one of those things where it's like, you know, she basically has come on the show a few times to test me on young person terms. And it's just shocking.

It's like really makes me feel so old. Oh, for sure. There's just a lot of stuff. Like Kevin heard her talk in the break room one day, and he was like, come on. And then she comes on, and I just go, god damn, I got no clue what these people are talking about. Yeah.

Finally, you really do feel old. I finally feel like fully old, where I'm like, what is she talking about? It was easier for her. She talks so fast. Right. I reached a point where I realized how often she was just insulting me, and then I was just like, what is she talking about? It was easier for her. She talks so fast. Right. I reached a point where I realized how often she was just insulting me.

And then I was just like, okay, this is a little bit, now I understand what's going on. It is insolence then, isn't it? I thought she had the air about her. What the sigma? What did she say? Did you say what the sigma? What the hell does that mean?

Jesus Christ! These kids. Is this still cool? Can you still do that? That is cool? Is that dabbing? Can we floss still? Yeah, you can floss.

Your attitude is just... What's cool? I don't know, she's come out and helped me with a number of things, but it's embarrassing. Yeah, what is cool? I always just hear her say sigma. That's the only thing that I know that- You've been saying sigma lately.

What is cool? I say sigma. Well, none of this is cool, but it's online terms that kids like 10 to 15 use, and for some reason that's become in the vernacular. Toilet, what was it? Skibbity toilet. Okay, I have a relationship with skibbity toilet.

My wife has shown me skibbity toilet. That's a lot of fun, actually. Skibbity toilet's been around though for a while, hasn't it? That stupid bullshit. Yeah, see, I didn't know about it till late. Looks maxing, aura maxing. Like the second I was like, Riz, people were like, dude, stop, that's like four months old. Right second I was like, Riz. People were like, dude, stop. That's like four months old.

Right. Ah. But she's been very helpful. But yeah, I mean, the whole show is just a lot of like, you know, just very short form. There's no real through line other than it's just a lot of little bits, which is, you know. That's great.

If it's good, it's good. If it's not, you know, it's just in the show. Hey. You know. We know that. We know that here at Doughboys. Yeah, I know, if it's good, it's good. If it's not, you know, it's just in the show. Hey. We know that. We know that here at Doughboys. Yeah, I know. Well, this is my third podcast, so I'm like, what is happening?

You know, it's just, but it's the first one I've done alone. Like, we're here to help with Jake. I wasn't sure if we were going to keep going. So then I just kind of started this, and then we kept doing, we're here to help. So now it's just a bunch of little bits. I love it. Dig yeah we have a little bit stupid fucking restaurant every week it sucks um yeah you've created your own

yeah we've created a little too it's a bit yeah it's a bit of a gilded cage we're gonna yeah we pulled a Creed my own prison we created is Amelia yeah all right sigma oh you know who creed is, Amelia? Yeah, I know creed. Yeah, all right, sigma. Oh, you know him ironically. Here's the thing with you guys. Back in our day, like, eats on, oh, tastes like ass. Now with you guys, it's a term of endearment. That's good.

So if you're in a five-star restaurant, yum, tastes like ass. Please tell the chef that tasted like ass. What an unbelievable gnocchi. Such ass. You're from Milwaukee or the Milwaukee area. There are a couple of Milwaukee chains we have covered on the podcast when we've been on the road that I've really enjoyed. Culver's and Copps. Oh, fuck, great. I was wondering if you would have been to Copps.

Yeah, Copps is great. Culver's also great. The Culver, when I would go there in high school, it was always senior citizen. It was shocking how many old people were working in Culver's. Cause I've heard the opposite now. Now I heard it's all like 15 year olds. They must've just made the swath.

I mean, it makes sense for a business model to be like, you forgot about the fish. And they're like, what? Like, Jesus Christ, they were trying to be nice to you, but there's business. And then C like, what? Like, Jesus Christ, they were trying to be nice to you, but there's business. And then Cops, amazing. Cops was like, when I was growing up, I think there was only one Cops.

I think there might still only be the one Cops. But it's just kind of so iconic. Maybe there were a few, but we did go, I think, to the original location. We love Cops. Yeah. Yeah. We're not A-Cop. No, it's K-O-P-P-S, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. We're not A-cap.

No, it's K-O-P-P-S, I believe. Yes, yeah. But yeah, no, it was amazing. Every time I went there, huge line. It was just the best. Because we do Friday fish fry in Milwaukee, too. Why did that stress you out? I have to go to the bathroom.

Oh, you do? OK. That's OK. It's so early in the show. That's fine. It's all right. I'm going to say this. It's so early in the show. It's fine. It's all right. I'm going to say this. It's because of what we did today.

So we're now opening it up to the fact that we know which portal needs to open. Ha ha ha ha ha. This is not a drink move. This is a food move. Who knows? Well, when you go down, sometimes it's both. Here, let's do a little bathroom breakdown.

OK. We'll pause for a second. Bathroom breakdown, okay. And then we'll come right back. Can we just actually keep going for a second? Sure. I need the fear. I need the fear to come back.

It just went away. Wait, what? No, no, no. Yeah. You want to be, you want to, it's like there's a new pope and you need the smoke to come out of your chimney. That's what I'm saying. The brown smoke. The brown smoke.

The brown smoke. Well, just remember you're in a safe place and everybody wants you to feel good. That I appreciate. You know, as a boy, oh no, it came back. Okay, great. See, there we go. I'm pretty good.

I'm also gonna say this. If I see the Rizzler in New York, I'm gonna kick his fucking ass. It's a child, Mitch. It's a child, actually. That's what fits a child, actually. Ha ha ha. D-d-d-diarrhea break. All right, we're back. Mitch, how you feeling?

Well, I just, bathroom breakdown. There was a breakdown in the bathroom. Not much of a bathroom breakdown at all. Um, you had, like, an urgent need, and then you go in there and you kind of get stage fright. Look, it's the day after my shot. Yes.

Well, you know, I didn't even get, I was so, there was a bunch of head gum hunks out there and then- That's hard too. That is tough. That's not easy, but then they weren't out there when I went out there, which was great. But just a no-go. That's tough.

Not just a no-go. It feels like your body's lying to you when that happens. Yeah, I don't like that. No. I don't like, I don't, it's a, this has always been my, I need to drink more water, but also it's the day after my shot. What shot?

I'm on a Zep Bounce. Oh, okay. To lose weight. So it's not a, it's not easy to, it fucks with my stomach the day after. So you get the big dose. Which is great for the day after my Zep Bounce shot to eat 100 donuts. They say to do that.

Yeah, I think it's good for me. I remember that from the commercial. Yeah, yeah. That's the B-roll is someone just pounding donuts in the B-roll. It was just me literally slicing off little pieces of donuts and eating. But anyways.

Is the shot weekly? Yes, weekly. So every week and then it's just kind of like, it's front loaded in terms of like, you have it most intent, like it fucks with you the most, the day after, day of. And then it kind of dissipates.

So I do it Wednesdays now, yeah. Okay. We gotta get that guy in you, feed that tiger. Fucking, it's a date that tiger. I listened to Jackie by Scott Walker in the bathroom. Okay, fun. Then Tools 46 and two came on. That's the-

Wow. Well, so the music wasn't the issue. Yeah. No, it's the body. 46 and number two, no number two. The two didn't show up, just the 46, yeah. That's tough. Well, and you're on the clock.

Yeah. The clock doesn't help. The clock does not help. The shit clock. I gotta come back in here. I know I gotta come back in here. I can't just spend the- Get to, get to come back in here. I get to come back in here. I can't just spend the- Get to, get to come back.

I get to come back in here. I can't spend the whole day in the, you know, like if I was at home, I'd be like, hey, you know what? I'm just gonna sit, I'm gonna sit here cause who cares? Yeah. Sure. Cause you got nothing to do. Wait and see if anything develops. But then you could get a hemorrhoid that is the issue.

Yeah, oh good, the athlete's foot of the ass. Yeah. Yeah. Ugh, it's tough. Gareth, you've been a vegetarian for a while now. Yes. That's ass. Yeah. Yeah. Ugh, that's tough. Gareth, you've been a vegetarian for a while now. Yes. That's correct? Yes. Wow. So, okay, so, cause when we were talking about

what chain we wanted to cover here, we had a few different things we were discussing. So annoying for you to- Not at all. Yes, it is. We have vegetarians, not at all. We have vegetarians on the podcast all the time. I had to stretch out, I was vegetarian,

and it's more annoying than a lot of cheese. So you were vegan, weren't you? No, I wasn't vegan. Oh, that's the fucking worst one. Yeah, that's tough. That one is of cheese. So you were vegan, weren't you? No, I wasn't vegan. Oh, that's the fucking worst one. Yeah, that's tough. That one is so hard. Have you been vegan? I tried to do it.

I did it, we toured Australia, and I actually did it for the tour, but it was like, all you could eat was like pastry in the morning. So it was just, I was like, well, what is the fucking point of this, to put on like 10 pounds of bread weight? Like it's already, you're fighting a battle,

so I couldn't pull off vegan, I just couldn't do it. Like it's already, you're fighting a battle. So I couldn't pull off vegan. I just couldn't do it. Especially when you're, cause you travel a lot and so you're kind of limited. And as you know, you get a different chain restaurants, fast food places, sometimes they don't, you know, like I guess I could eat a bun, you know what I mean? Like the options aren't particularly readily available,

but like what are your go-tos as far as fast food? I dated a vegan for a short period of time. And I think that she believed that I would become vegan at some point. And I was like, it ain't happening. It's not going to, it's not, it just was not. I mean, like, vegetarian, I couldn't, I don't know if that will happen for me ever in my life.

But like eating vegetarian for a month or something, I could see myself, or like a couple months out of the year or something like that. Vegetarian is not that hard because breakfast you've got, eggs no problem. Yeah, cheese also is huge. Cheese is fine, you know, so you really are kind of, and then you get, the problem with anything like that is that it is just like this personal choice, like I just read a book and I was like, you know what, I'm gonna, but then people are like, what about your cat?

And I'm like, I buy, I do, you know, you got me. Like you cannot eliminate this from the world we live in. So it is kind of like, you know, we're all fudging the numbers a little bit. We're all choosing where we're gonna draw the line. Yeah. And whatever. Yeah, and then it's like-

As long as you're internally consistent. I also, if I go to like a wedding or something, there are those moments where I'll like eat five croquettes and then someone will be like, there's bacon in that. And I'll be like, well, you know what? I just had a freebie. Like it's like a hall pass meat-wise. Sure, yeah.

This bacon wrap date was gonna go in the dumpster anyway after this event. Yeah. You can't kill yourself over stuff like that. By the way, our CPA has told us to stop fudging the numbers cause we like, we'll give them tax documents and they're covered in chocolate. Yeah.

Ah, it's terrible. That guy, he's, boy. He's got a, yeah, he's got a lot of work to do. He's just crying. He's just covered in chocolate milk. A lot of his work is just like defudging RW2s. Yeah. Little fingerprints.

Yeah, breaking out, yeah. Sometimes just fully coated in chocolate just breaks the chocolate like coating off. Tootsie roll. Well, you know what I started doing? I started, this is because I was telling you before, like I drive to a lot of my shows. I started bringing a hot plate with me. Wow.

And a pan. And so like I remember watching this guy on TikTok who would like cook ribs in the sink of his room, like just bizarre. And then I was like, man, this guy on TikTok who would like cook ribs in the sink of his room, like just bizarre. And then I was like, man, this guy's an animal. And now I, in my room, am like, where am I gonna put all these eggshells? Like it has become- You've become one of those guys.

Completely. Yeah, yeah. Like when I go into a hotel, people are like, and it's mostly one-nighters, but people will be like, do they have a hot plate? Yeah. And I, you know, tip the maid accordingly, but it is but it is, it's all because road eating becomes so difficult. It's so difficult to not put on a lot of weight, especially if you're in comedy clubs every night

and they're offering you like chuckle fucker fries and like all this other shit. Yeah. It's that sort of thing of like when you're back, even if you're a person who orders food a lot, which I do do, but it's like, you have your places that you're gonna get, you're gonna get a salad from Sweet Green or whatever. When you're on your own sometimes it's like, I need to eat the burger or whatever, the

veggie burger from this fucking, from this comedy club or whatever. Your body like starts, I don't know, it just, if I'm not home and I'm on the road, my, I like, my body just all of a sudden is like, you can drink wine during the day a little bit more and like if I'm in an airport all of a sudden I'm like, fries drink wine during the day a little bit more. And like, if I'm in an airport, all of a sudden, I'm like, fries are fine. Like, it all changes so quickly. Yeah. You have this to look forward to.

No, I mean, like, I am not a bit, not a fan of traveling in general. I will say the erraticism of it is part of it, of just like that, because I'm such a creature of habit. I'm such a man of routine. That's what I have to, yep. Schedule is so, that's why. Why do a creature of habit, I'm such a man of routine. That's what I am too. Yep, schedule is so...

Why do you say it? Because you guys are about to go travel. We're about to tour and Mitch knows I'm not like the excited... Whatever, it's fine. Yeah, it is hard though. Yeah. It's like... I never have heard the term erraticism and I immediately just thought of rats having

sex. I had no idea what the fuck you were talking about. I thought of the Radisson Hotel. The erratis... Which maybe is where you're staying. It's right near the Wilbur. The erratism, which maybe is where you're staying. It's right near the Wilbur. The erratism.

Oh, did you say the erraticism? Yeah, I don't even know if that's a word. I think it could be. Yeah. Like erratic? Yeah, like erratic. Oh, oh! The unpredictable nature.

Of course, erraticism. Okay, all right, I had no idea. Yeah, I think it works. Is it a word? Yeah. Okay. Are the kids saying it? Yeah, the kids say it? Does it have Riz? Yes, it has't have no idea. Yeah, I think it works. Is it a word? Yeah. Are the kids saying it? Yeah, the kids say it? Does it have Riz?

Yes, it has Riz for sure. Wow. Interesting. There is, Susser was using some term, like the kid term, like one of those kid terms that stood out the other day. What was it? Was it a, was it like let them cook or something like that?

But there is like a... I think Susser's just hungry. He's always like the Hulk, he's always hungry. Some of that vernacular, is that what I'm looking for? Is it seeping into, it's affecting us older people, or it's coming through now. The kid talk. The kid talk is coming through,

some of it's just becoming standard, which is, it's a good thing. It should be good. I just know I'm like the graveyard for those terms. When I start saying them, like they're over. Like I kind of feel like a marker for that. Like by the time I know about it, it's no longer relevant. But remember when you were a kid and you were like,

I mean, when I was a kid, like we had our, like when you'd hear an old person try to hang and be like, buddy, nobody's saying rad anymore. Yes, right. You know, like it would start to jump the shark. Tubular, cowabunga. Tubular was a big one. Tubular had six months where it was on fire.

That's, cowabunga, tubular, all that stuff was, it was, I guess, real at one. I guess I never remember anyone like truly saying cowabunga. I mean, I think that was Ninja Turtles specific. Yeah, I got that, fair enough. Some people would say it may be referencing the Ninja Turtles. See, when we were kids, there were turtles who were mutants.

Do you believe that? Yeah, it's part crime. The Ninja Turtles, my understanding, still are still thriving. They still exist. Yeah, they are. They just have a different canon. And younger people have a different Ninja Turtle song. They were like, what's the Ninja Turtle song?

And they're not thinking, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It's a different Ninja Turtles song? They were like, what's the Ninja Turtles song? And they're not thinking, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It's a different song. It's like something that I don't even know. It's a melody I wouldn't recognize. Well, when I, like I, so I was, my parents are English, raised in Wisconsin.

So I would go to England very often. And this was something I found, like they gave me a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sleeping bag for one Christmas when I was over there. And I looked on the sleeping bag and it said Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Whoa, what the fuck? I was like, what? And there was this whole thing where England wouldn't say ninja. And so the theme song, the first time I saw it over there, it's the weirdest thing ever because

it's just like, it really is awkwardly dubbed in where they're just like, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtle. Like they refuse. I never knew, I never knew this. Yeah, they had some embargo on not saying ninja. Wow. Yeah, the English.

I wonder if it was a- Let's be real, turtle power is a little too pro turtle. It is, well, because... You know, turtle power all the time? Especially now, because those turtle power groups are just rising up. Those marches are scary. They do not want to get involved in a turtle power march.

No, I mean, but we should get involved now, because it'll spread. We've seen it before. Look, I voted for the Shredder, so... Jesus Christ, I can't believe I'm with a Shredder voter. The... Yeah, I wonder if that was they thought Ninja wouldn't localize, like, like, like British kids didn't have a concept of what a Ninja was.

I wonder if that, or if it was, like, a weird rights thing or some weird Japanophobia or, you know, I have no idea. I've found with the English that if it could be racist, that's probably the wisest play to just get probably a racial thing with them. Right. Versus like, well, kids won't understand it. They're like, no, don't want the Japanese either.

Nah, nah, give them an inch. What? Ha ha ha. So what are, like, what, OK, you're on the road. Maybe you don't have access to the hot plate, or maybe you just gotta, I've gotta eat at some restaurant for, out of necessity. What, like, what are you hoping for? Like, what's the ideal for you? Because, you know, you can cobble together

a pretty good vegetarian meal at, like, a Taco Bell or something, but, you know. Yes. I, well, you know, I start out, always start out pretty good. The first week, I'm like, I probably will avoid the drive-through and then it's that second third week Taco Bell is a banger. I'll get a bean and cheese hard shell which they're pretty weird about

So you have to go? Beef taco no beef add beans right for some reason, have made it complicated. Del Taco, for a while, did the Impossible Taco, which was fucking delicious. Yeah, they discontinued, like this is almost all the chains except for Burger King, Burger King is the only one that still has the Impossible Whopper. All the rest of them have gotten rid of their

plant-based proteins, which is kind of a bummer. Hey, it's about the bottom line, you know? That's true. Here we go. You can't blame them, You can't blame them. You can't blame them. The turtles. Yeah.

The turtle power. Panda Express. Oh, OK. What are you getting there for as a vegetarian? They have a fake chicken. They have like a fake. The orange fake chicken? Fake orange chicken.

It's pretty good. That's a good one. And then Subway. Subway still is pretty good. They have the veggie patty there. And then, but I do sometimes, I will like on the road sometimes do like, you know, like sometimes I'll get like chicken

every now and then. Now I've started to mix it in a little bit just cause it gets so hard. But those are vegetarian wise, those to me are the best ones. Subway, even if you don't get, I can still eat like just fucking vegetables in that bread. I don't know, still got me.

We kind of buried Subway recently. We've had some bad recent experiences with Subway. But the thing- I will say, when I was very sick-wise, I told you I got a turkey with Swiss cheese toasted and just vinegar on it. And it was like, it just was like, oh, this is good nourishment.

Yeah. Well, there's certain things there where I'm like, you know, like the, if they have to use like an ice cream scooper for any meat, I'm like, ah, steer clear of that. Right. Like to me, that's where, but I don't know. I'd like, again, the cheese.

Are you no fish? You're not a pescetarian? Not really fish, no. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't shame them, but they're a little strange to me, the pesc again, the cheese. Are you no fish? You're not a pescetarian? Not really fish, no. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't shame them, but they're a little strange to me, the pescetarians. Yeah.

I don't really get it. Yeah. It's, you know, again, we're all drawing our own arbitrary lines. I kind of can understand the argument, but certain fish, I'm like also like, oh man. Like when I was eating- This guy's a soul judge.

He tries to judge what type of soul he's consuming. Right, I'm always- I actually get that. I'm always thinking about that, yeah. Like an, like calamari to me. I'm like that, you know, they can get out of jars. Yeah, I feel very strange. I don't think we should be eating that.

I don't eat cephalopods. I don't eat octopus. I don't eat squid, even though I do eat fish. Like that's one thing. I just like, I feel weird about that. I was not eating any pork for a while. And now I'm just like, if something has bacon in it, I'm not gonna like take it off,

I'm gonna like throw it in the trash. IQ based eating seems, I'm okay with that. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly. I want, the last month I've only, I'm doing only cephalopod eating, you know that's why, except just, yeah, like that's it. Only, wow, what a weird lane to carve out.

I know, I know. It just seems so aggressive to just be, based on his personal, and- Yeah, it does seem like I'm doing it because of him. I'm actually trying to cancel out whatever you do. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that they can't open jars, that is a tough... They're picking World Cup winners, they're opening jars. My octopus, they're changing colors.

But then I also feel like... If you're picking against the Celtics, it's calamari time is all I'm saying. I'm going to fucking eat your ass. We're... I am always thinking, because, like, we'll never be able to anticipate how future, you know, societies will judge us. Like, what I do think obviously, pretty obviously, they'll look back at factory farming and think that was absolutely horrific. But there's also things like, I don't know, what do we know about plant consciousness? I have no fucking idea. Well, the more they study it the

more you like they're screaming yeah any time the scientists like I put wires on it the plants like that's not good either yeah what the hell are we supposed to do what is this God up there as he walked from us he's really messing with us a lot messing with us what would the hell? What are you supposed to eat? I'm eating God. That's what I'm doing. What do you think? If plants are yelling, plants have feelings?

Well, there are the people who only eat things that naturally drop. That's limiting. Oh, man. Yeah, that's tough. If nothing drops, you're like, this is tough. You're just living like a scavenger, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if there's a,

I don't know the most ethical way to eat, but I mean, I certainly think there are things that if you're just sort of like looking to generally like limit the amount of misery, you know what I mean? Like I eat some meat, I try to avoid factory farmed meat as much as possible, but it's just like, I don't fucking know. I mean. I mean you can't you know you can do what you can do and also like affordability There's there's all these things that are just kind of

Societally baked in at this point right if you fell down in a pig pen you would be eaten by the pig sure Or you just go now that you mention it or really actually Wagermate have just become their fucking leader, little fucking piggy. Yeah. I called them a piggy on an episode a while back. We had fun. We're having fun. That'd be the best way to go. Their leader.

Jesus, I screwed up. Get him! Come on, boys. But they will eat you. You know, the pigs would eat you alive. Yes, they should. But also, like, you know, we can't apply, because nature is amoral.

We can't expect there to be, you know, we can't say, like, well, this dog doesn't have the same moral values as me. No, you think you're better than a dog? I don't know. I mean, that's a thing. Well, maybe I'm not. I don't fucking know. I'm than a dog? I don't know. I mean, that's a thing. Well, maybe I'm not. I don't fucking know.

I'm only eating dog. I love this stuff. So good. I'll eat it, and I'll go, he really was a good boy. What a good boy. I would eat dog meat if it was just like, well, this dog meat is otherwise going to be thrown away. Yeah.

I guess I'll just try it. I don't know. You would? By the way, the guy who's doing that is tricking you. He's really like, otherwise it goes right in the garbage. Fancy a dog? I think the thing is that it is. It's like, if you can look at it in the sense of like, look,

we're going to be eating everything, so why not try to make sure it had a fairly decent life so you were aware in that way? But again, if you're on the road in the middle of nowhere and you're like, I'm just going to have a taco though. Yeah, that's fine. So if years, years from now, Wally and Irma, they're on their last legs, and I take them to the vet,

and I'm like, oh, they accidentally turned Wally and Irma into burgers. But I'm going to- What vet is this? Welcome to oopsies. But I'm gonna throw them away. You'd be like, no, I'll eat them. You would eat the Wally and Irma burger? I would, in that specific situation,

because I know those were animals who were near and dear to your heart, I would honor your wishes. That's what I'm talking about. And I'd say like- You're gonna throw them away? I was like, do you want your- I guess I would throw them away.

Do you wanna give them a proper burial? Would you feel like they- They were burying burgers? I don't know do you want your- I guess I would've throw them away. Do you want to give them a proper burial? Would you feel like they- They were burying burgers? Well, I don't know. Bury them in your belly. There you go. I give them a good home. No, I like-

Little tombstone tattoo. It's whatever, like if you feel like, A, actually would be probably honoring them by making sure that they are consumed. I don't know. I don't know what you would want. There has to be. That would not be honoring them that they're getting consumed.

They were already made into burgers. Yeah, what a mistake. I'd be upset. Your issue is with the vet. Yes, I agree. Your vet made your animals into little delicious patties. Now, are we to just laugh in his face, or should we? And he also, I guess in this scenario,

he also cooked them and put lettuce on top of them. He's got a little chef hat on. How do you like them? Oh my god, what am I doing? I thought I was at home. I was picturing burger patties. You're saying he ran into a full burger. A full steaming burger.

So what point does he realize it's his mistake? When he gives me the burger I say what are you doing? That's all fucked. I thought I was going to get ashes and you gave me burgers. Oh my god. I have the worst news for you. Your cats are burgers. Do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do

you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, do you think, man. Oh, my God. I have the worst news for you. Your cats are burgers. Do you think...

This is a dumb idea, but I thought about this with the cats, because Zip and Buster, I got cremated. But then Wally and Irma, I'm like, is there... Oh, no, I have to go to the bathroom again. It's gonna be fine. Everything is fine. Okay. It's okay. Get your, like... Get your moral quandary out and then you can say this

and then you can be thinking about it while you're taking a shit. I don't know if that's gonna happen either. Okay. I'm gonna try my damnedest to make it happen. Do you think that there'll be a world in the future where a strand of hair, you're dead in the grave, but your bone can bring you back to, you know what I'm saying?

Like, they can just bring you back. Like, kind of a Jurassic Park slash AI sort of thing. AI, very much an AI moment. Right, but then that's also the thing, like, the nature of consciousness, because we never solved the hard problem of consciousness. Like, would that actually be you, or would this be a simulacrum of you

that has a different consciousness, that has your memories, but was not actually the continuation of your own life? But I'm saying, like, is it worth it to not cremate things because of that? Or maybe they can get it from cremation. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Go think about it, Mitch. Interesting.

Have a think in there on that. All right, he'll solve it. We'll be back. The diarrhea break. All right, we're back. Pope Watch to Poop Watch. Mitch, how you doing? There was some smoke. Wow. And let me tell you how it came out. Me grabbing the bars in the fucking bathroom and fucking... Like an Olympic sport?

Yes. What's going on in there? It was really hard to get anything going there. Now, is this based on what we ate or this is the shot or it's the combo? I think it's a combo. I think it's a combo of everything going on. I got some water.

Are you generally stopped up? Is that the issue? Yeah, I'm stopped up a lot, yeah. But also the shot makes you stopped up. Oh, okay, cause yeah, it made me feel maybe some more water, some more dietary fiber. I took Senna last night and took Senna in some, what's it called?

Magnesium, citrate. Magnesium citrate. Did you ever mess around with a Benafib or something, a fiber supplement? I got Citrus Cell Wags. Okay, that's the same thing. I'm trying to get things going. This is like you guys, this is like

being in Columbia in the 80s. I haven't heard of a lot of those. You know what else I thought about in there? This is great that you've had your time. I went off and I had a think. I had a good long think. And I do, a part of me does feel like maybe I shouldn't incinerate myself or while I'm in my case, there is some sort of great resurrection at some point within the world.

Oh, right. But also, do you ever think that like, do you ever think that, you know, the idea of hell, which I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of the devil. But do you ever think you were talking about like, how future generations will see us, and now we've talked about consciousness getting uploaded. Do you think we'll ever get like future generations,

if you have that consciousness, you think they could like upload it into a hell? You know what I'm saying? Like a hell program? That's interesting. You just kind of pitched a, you know, like a Philip K. Dick sort of short story there. I think it's possible.

And also maybe if it's like your own thing of like, I mean, maybe we're in it now, by the way. Oh, fuck! It could be, but then also it's that sort of thing of like, you choose your own, and if it's a self-hating person, they're going to put themselves into a worse and worse thing. You know what I'm saying? Oh, you did get a lot of thinking done in that.

I got a lot of thinking in there. No more pooping during the night, OK? Coming back in with some dark stuff. I can't guarantee that, but I'm saying, if you can upload consciousness, if that becomes a thing, can't you just upload someone into a hell? Going back to your original thing, first off, I would say, like, we, who knows what the future would be if, like, you're suggesting some sort of great resurrection, like, at some point, if you just society decides, like, hey, people who have previously died actually is the correct ethical thing to do, or we're just going to do it for an anthropological reason. We got a wiger's bone. We got a a wider bone. But what you're saying is like, how do we even know that that's going to be the source of it? Like maybe there's some other thing of like,

hey, we've discovered some other dimension that allows us to fold time where we can kind of, pull his consciousness from a different reality or something like that or from a different timeline. Who fucking knows? So I don't know if like physically preserving your remains is what will result in you potentially being resurrected. Maybe you should get cremated for that reason alone.

Maybe that too. But the other thing I was gonna say is like, I could see a point where future societies decide that, like, hey, we should, if we're going to resurrect people, they should have to atone for the sins of their lives. They're going to be punished. And we're going to apply the strict sort of standards of our future society to how they lived in their time.

And they're going to upload them to hell. And they might get uploaded to hell. They're like, I'll certainly have it. Microsoft purgatory or something like that. Man, hell, like a Microsoft hell. Like, you know you're in hell, but you see a Microsoft symbol. You're just Quibi. No! Yeah.

No, that is interesting. Quick bites, little quick bites of hell, that's horrible. Quibi-wags, a Quibi hell. Quibi was hell. Yeah, Quibi was hell. Quibi was hell. A go-90 hell. There's a go-90 guy after all.

You can watch my torture in a whole new, you turn your phone 90 degrees. Oh, God. Quibi was hell. Yeah, Quibi was hell. Quibi was hell. The go-90 hell? How's a go-90 guy have a... You can watch my torture in a whole new, you turn your phone 90 degrees. Oh shit. Yeah, I think I'd go the cremation route just to be safe. Get it, burn everything. Well, there was a guy who, I think it was a road rage incident and he got shot.

He was like an upstanding citizen, whatever. And then his family, because I guess the guy who shot and killed him in the road rage incident obviously was up on charges. And the family had an AI like testimonial video testimonial of the guy made for him to sort of say a nice sentiment towards the man who killed him, and the judge watched it and felt a little more sympathetic to the defendant. And it's super eerie to watch, because it's like the guy who died,

and he's like, in another life, maybe you and I could be friends. And something like that. Yeah, and even that to me, I'm like, that's a bridge too far with this shit to me. There's gonna be a lot of weird shit we witness and before we kick it legs. Hopefully.

I mean, hopefully we make it that way. Who knows? I'm ready to go. Yeah, I'm ready. I don't mind. I don't mind. What is that? A Fridge to Terabithia was a thing.

Is that a Bridge to Terabithia? Is that basically like a Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe type bullshit? Yeah, Melee, can you explain a Bridge to Terabithia for us? Yeah. What do your kids call it? Uh, I don't do you kids call it? I don't know. I think it was like,

I think it wasn't that sort of like linking our world to a fantasy world. I think that's what it was. Something like that, yeah. But I never saw it. Are you worried about hell? You worry about these things? Is this the cat pick up rate?

I mean, this new thing that, you know, who knows if this helped strict this future society will be? Will they judge Wally for eating a tuna fish? You know what I mean? Who knows? Will they send Wally to some sort of cat hell? Well, that's another thing. Are we ever gonna reach a point- You're eating him anyway.

Don't worry about it. Are we ever gonna reach a point where there's going to be, because right now the sort of approach towards nature is like, we don't intervene really. Like we'll maybe preserve some species, but for the most part, like, yeah, the food chain, all that sort of stuff, the circle of life that will just kind of like exist on its own in the wild.

Will there ever be a point where people are like, well, actually we should intervene to ensure that there's ethical behavior among other life forms. I don't know, who knows? Look, it was a thinker and a stinker in there. Good for you. Good for you. A lot going on in there.

Yeah. I feel a little bit better, hopefully. I think a third might give you closure. Let's try a third. You might come back out and be like, I figured out what God is. And then come shitter. Let's talk a little bit about,

because we were talking about Wally and Irma burgers earlier. You had to, okay, sure. Let's talk about cats in general. Because I feel like we got a lot of cat parents in here, Amelia, Mitch obviously, Wally and Irma, and Gareth, you're a cat dad. Yeah, my cat's named Jose. I love him.

He's my everything, and when I leave town, it's like the worst, hardest thing. I feel like a bad parent, because I basically have cat sitters come and look after him more than I'm there. And I have someone stay in my place so he feels comfortable, but definitely when I come back, I feel like he's, you know,

he's a little mad for a minute. I had to leave Wally Norwood for three months when I was in Toronto. I hated it. It was rough, it was rough, I hated it. Yeah, see, I'm gone for so, like, long stretches, like three-ish weeks at a time. And I, you know, towards the end, I'm just...

It is crazy how much I just am like, can't wait to see my little guy. When you return... I love it. I feel the same way. Yeah, this is a question for everyone, I guess. Like, when you return after an absence, are your cats, like, meowing up a storm? Like, how are they reacting?

Why is he going crazy? Yeah. Yeah, they're, he is right in. I mean, he, what happens is he comes over, he kind of, I think, can't believe it. And I'm, that might be me putting my own ego into it. I mean, who wouldn't be shocked? The king is back.

But he comes over and he's definitely a little, like, overwhelmed by it. And then, and then he kind of like, there's a little bit of a distance and then he's like my shadow for the next week. Wow. While he kind of adjusts and comes back. I mean, pretty much, we have a routine. He sleeps with me every night.

He started to sleep on the, like, my bed's up against a wall and for a while he slept on the other side of me next to the wall, which is great, because I could get up and piss. And then he slept on the other side of me next to the wall, which was great, because I could get up and piss. And then he started to want the side closest to the floor. So now I sleep on the inside like the cat should, and now when I get up to not disturb him,

I kind of slink under, it's insane. I slink under the blankets to get out. I do the same thing. And I'm like, what is, this is crazy. And I got two of them, so it's even more of an obstacle course. Yeah, but I'm like what this is crazy. I got two of them. So it's even more of an obstacle course Yes, but I'm like this is not okay. I got I got video here of me coming home after three months You want to see how they react?

They're not saying hi, that's me saying hi. That's me saying hi. Hi, guys. Hi. Hi. Hi, bub-bub-bub-bub. Hi. Hi. This is it. It's awesome. It sounds more like a drop than the drop. Hi.

Hi, baby. There is a drop. Look at them. They go crazy. It's really cute. I mean, they know. They know. They love you. They love you. Yeah. I love them. Hi. They go crazy. It's really cute. Hi. I mean, they know.

They know they love you. They love you. Yeah. I love them. Now, they get a bad rap for being like, whoa, what the fuck at the end there? Irma goes nuts. We the band dancers. No, they get a bad rap for not being as affectionate as dogs, but I really find like my cat is

too affectionate. Those are people who are fucking dumbasses. I got to tell you, when people are like, you just never had a cat, you don't know how affectionate they are. People, because people are like, oh, a dog will come to the door, they come to the door too.

Come to the door, absolutely. And then also like, it's like cats also like, will go and do their own thing, which is good. Yes. It's nice that they go and sleep somewhere else. You don't want someone who's around you all the time. It's great. It's less pressure.

It's like the person is like, what's up today? Yeah. We're just hanging out. Yeah, we're just hanging. We're just chilling. You don't want someone who's around you all the time. It's great. It's less pressure. It's like the person's like, what's up today? And you're just hanging out. Yeah, we're just hanging. You don't have to fucking, yeah. There's no plan? Yeah, you don't need that constantly. I agree, I like it. Mitch, your cats love you that much

and you want to turn them into burgers. I don't want to turn them into burgers. That's insane. That whole burger thing just ages so poorly after that video. I don't want them to be burgers. My fear is that you would eat the burgers. Well, why did you offer him the cat?

It's just the whole thing. I'll tell you, my head's spinning. They're meowing when you're home. You're serving them as food. I would eat burger wag before I would eat burger wag. Whoa. A little wagoo? All right.

Now we're talking. I'd be all right with being eaten. Like, I'm not saying I'd want that to be the case, but I think I'd be all right with being eaten. It sounds like what you want from this is being alive as I eat you. Oh, that's the dream. How's it tasting, buddy?

Feet first, please. I want to savor this. Like a Ray Liotta at the end of, um, Hannibal. Oh, yeah. Crazy. I remember being in the movie theater watching that and being like, this is weird. It's truly insane. I remember this as a boy being like,

this is like very weird what I'm watching. I'm not enjoying what's happening. Yeah. It was, because I was what, like 16 or 17 or whatever when that movie came out. Maybe older. I don't know. I forgot when Hannibal came out. Yeah. 2000?

Is that a good guess? It was. Yeah. Why not? It was something like the, you know, but Sins of the Lambs, obviously, such a huge, like, kind of mainstream hit. And there's some extraordinarily dark stuff in that.

But it's, like, not as imaginatively depraved. Well, they did that. And then they were, I mean, it's like any, you know, then they're like, we got to get, we started, got to get fucked up now. Yeah, it's like making Saw IV. It's like, how do we hype this? yeah, right. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. You want to know when I came out? Year I graduated 2001. Wow. How about that? I was 18 years old or turning 18. Wow. Oh, those are 19 turning 19. Wow. We don't we that's not important. Yeah, it is. It came out in 2001. Let's take a break. It came out in 2001. Let's take a break. Hahahaha.

Wags, you know I like a good night of sleep. You sure do. And I accomplish it every night with my Helix mattress. Wow. That's right. I have a Helix mattress, Wags. I love it. I've had it for a good seven years now.

I got the Moonlight Lux, and I sleep like a baby every night. Your sleep has improved since you switched to Helix. It has, Wags. It's seven years now, I got the Moonlight Lux, and I sleep like a baby every night. Your sleep has improved since you switched to Helix. It has, Wags. It's like I'm sleeping on a cloud now. I love it. Wally and Irma, my cats love it. My mom, when she visits town,

I'm a good boy and go sleep on the couch. She loves it. Everyone who sleeps on that mattress loves it. Now Mitch, you and I both have issues with snoring. I have back pain. You get older, it's a little bit tougher to sleep through the night or you're sleeping too hot. HealX can help with all of these things.

Wiges, let me tell you this. I have a CPAP machine and I use my CPAP machine, but I was never a back sleeper. And with the CPAP, I have to sleep on my back. And you know what? With my HealX sleep mattress, it's not an issue because it's so comfortable. I sleep on my back.

Mitch, wow! Yeah, Rottweil's wow is right. And you know what? You know what's even better than sleeping on it? How easy it is to get. They ship it right to your door in a box. You open it up. It's easy to assemble.

And you know what? You know you're matched with the perfect mattress because they got the Helix Sleep quiz on their website. You can't go wrong. But the thing about it, the thing about your sleep is that it influences your waking life. It's such a huge part of being alive and improved sleep can help improve your everyday life.

And when you've upgraded your sleep to a helix mattress, you're just that much more prepared for your day. That's right, Wags. I gotta get you on a helix mattress. Well, I mean, I'm sure that's impossible. I can't imagine there's any way for anyone other than you to get a Helix Sleep mattress. Oh, wait!

You can go to helixsleep.com slash doughboys for 20% off site-wide. Wow, 20% off site-wide. Do it and have a good night's sleep. Go to helixsleep.com slash doughboys for 20% off site-wide. Bye. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Mitch, sadly, there still exists a stigma surrounding men's mental health. But you and I know as dudes. We are dudes. There's strength that comes from maintaining a healthy mind. Get rid of that stigma, Wags. That stigma needs to go.

Men today face immense pressure to perform, to provide, and keep it all together. So it's no wonder that six million men in the US suffer from depression every year, and it's often undiagnosed. Not undiagnosed for me, Mitch. I deal with depression and anxiety myself. Hey, you know what?

Yeah. It's one of the only things we have in common. It's okay to struggle. Real strength comes from opening up about what you're carrying and doing something about it so you can be at your best for yourself and everyone in your life. If you're a man and you're feeling the way to the world, talk to someone, a friend, a loved one, a therapist.

And Wiggs, you know what? You and I have both benefited from therapy anytime we're in it. Like we've said, it's going to the gym for your mind. You gotta get the gunk out, you gotta talk to someone, and therapy can be very beneficial if you're feeling down, if you're stressed out, if you're anxious. It's a great thing, it's made my life better.

It's helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries, and empowers you to be the best version of yourself, and it isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. With over 35,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. Wow. And it works with an app store rating of 4.9 out of 5 based on over 1.7 million client reviews. Wow. It's convenient too. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, helping you

fit therapy into your busy life, plus switch therapists at any time. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash doughboys. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P,.com slash doughboys. Wow. Let's talk donuts because-

Yeah, we gotta talk donuts. That's the order of the day. Where are donuts in everyone's hierarchy of treats? Because I was thinking for myself, just to answer my own question, I think they're pretty high. They're high. Like ice cream is number one.

Donuts might be- Wait, what is number one? Ice cream. Donuts might be two or three? I don't know. I think they're maybe on the podium. I mean, here's the thing with donuts. I think this is every adult's journey with donuts is like, when you're a child, a donut is a breakfast thing.

Yes. And then now, and even back then I would get a bagel and then like it would almost be like a dessert back then as I'd have like a bagel or a breakfast sandwich. And then I would have a donut, which I was a fat kid, but like, it wouldn't affect adults, but like it's that sort of thing of like, I'd still have it as the dessert,

but I sometimes could just have it as a breakfast. And as an adult, I don't want a donut for breakfast almost ever unless it's like, I need to eat something and there's a donut and I'm gonna eat it. But the taste of it, when you're comparing it to like, when I'm comparing it, even to like cake or something, I'm like, I like donuts more than cake, right? I do too. I like donuts more than ice cream too.

Wow. Yeah, I do. I don't know. I would think it probably is number one for me as... Number one. Probably. As a sweet treat. As a sweet treat. I mean... They're really good.

Because I don't, I'm not big on like, you know, sweet sweets, like that to me is never right. Like, but that in... What just happened in there? I could do that fairly regularly and feel okay about it. Because it is, it's like just sweet enough to be a treat, but also enough substance to feel like actual food. I could not do that.

I feel like complete shit, obviously. I know. You're having a rea... I'm having a hard time. It's like complete shit, obviously. I know, you're having a re-at, yeah. I'm having a hard time. It's just the sugar, just you feel how, especially if you're tasting, we're tasting like 18 donuts before we did. But there was a bite in there,

why is it transferring me back to little, young Mitch. And there was one donut when I bit it, and I'll save it. You had a time traveling donut. I had a ratatouille moment where I ate the donut. I'll just say it, the chocolate frosted or chocolate raised. You were highlighting that something was happening. I was kept going back to it and I was like,

this is just such a good tasting donut. And the chocolate was like, it had like a nice darker chocolate taste to it. And it wasn't too, too sweet. Cause a lot of the donuts were very sweet. Yes. And it was just, it was perfect. A bite of a memory.

A bite of a memory. All of a sudden you're back on the toddler sports network. Yeah. I was fucking a star back then. The donut game, yeah. The closet. Yeah. It was just a classic great donut and well-made,

and it was a great bite. They are great. Yeah, I agree. They're just great. I really like donuts. Like you, Mitch, yes, it was a thing that I, most associated with Sundays, because it was like a Sunday treat in my household.

We get like a, for a while we were doing bike rides. We'd ride the bike to the donut shop, get 12 donuts, but then it eventually just became a thing where it's just like it was, you know, it was just an indulgence that we would have on weekends. How far was a bike ride? Is there a shop like two doors down? You don't need the bike. You live above us.

No, my dad, my dad would make us work for it. He was like my dad was an avid cyclist. And so he rode his bicycle to work for many years. Can I guess what type of bicycle he rides the most? Unicycle, fucking clown ass dad. Take it easy. Oh, boy. You know, we had a guy call.

He did a piggy thing, in fact, a clown ass dad. We had a guy call, we're here to help, who basically that's what he would do. He was trying to eat every donut place, going on jogs, like in the New England area. He would drive his car, stop his car, then go for like 10 miles, find a donut place, put it in his backpack, and then go home and like enjoy it and film it. It was like, yeah. To me, the one that takes me back is the regular glaze, to me, was the one in there where I was like, yeah, that's just the classic. It's a classic.

And it was well done. Easy, not overwhelming, just a little glass on it. And this is a classic spot. We're talking about Randy's Donuts, which was founded in 1952. The big donut. And Inglewood got, I was going to get to it, Mitch. Sorry. It was founded in 1952. No, it's fine.

It's a big donut. I got excited. Look, here's the thing. I went to the big donut. That donut really is big as fuck. It's huge. It's a fucking big ass donut. You've been to the big donut?

I used to work. When I first moved here, I would like work remodeling houses. And it was right down there. Wow. And I would all, and it was amazing. Yeah. Yeah. How can we ask you quickly, I didn't know this about you.

This is great. How would you remodel this, I didn't know this about you, this is great. How would you remodel this studio? Would you get rid of the fake breaks? That would be a toilet. That would be a toilet. That's a great call. Get a bowl there so there's no breaks. I don't know, by the way, I should point out

I was the worst construction worker in the world. Wow. I was genuinely like the one where they were like, clean that up and then go to the dump. But what I would do is probably, you know what I'd like to do? This all could be a window right here. Wow. And really let the people in when they walk and really open it up. Because I'm always like, hey, we should get these curtains closed so we're not distracted

by people walking by. No. But you're saying open it up. I like seeing it. Make it into like, too much area. I've watched by your podcast a number of times. Yeah, yeah. There is a little bit of a, it does feel like a little, you'll record and you'll go, you're

like, oh, it's sunny out, you know? Yeah, it's Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think that's not a bad idea. I love that. I would do that. That's all I got.

And it'll be about $100,000 for me to do the job. And I'm not good with glass. Randy's Donuts, 1952, Inglewood, California, is when it was founded near LAX Airport, originally called Big Donut Drive-In and then renamed in the 70s under new ownership. Big Donut Drive-In's a pretty good damn name. Randy's Donuts, I guess.

It's a pretty good name and I think there are- He's an egomaniac. There are still some Big Donut Drive-Ins, I think, elsewhere in Southern California, but Randy's, there was just the one for many years. Known for its massive donut sign on its store roof, which is about 32 feet or roughly 10 meters in diameter. And it is a tourist destination,

frequently referenced in pop culture. In 2015, Randy's was acquired by casino magnate, Mark Kalagian, who has turned it into a franchise chain. So it was, for 60 years of its history, it was just the one store. And then in the past 10 years, it has become a franchise. I don't know if I've ever been to the original big donut location.

I have like a weird memory that I had been there once before, but I'm not sure if I have, but it is, it's near LAX. It's near LAX and it's a huge donut. And right off the 405 freeway, which is, you know, heavily trafficked. Nothing like landing there, and then be like, cool, more hell. According to Randy's website, they have over 50 locations,

16 of which are in South- 50? 50, yeah, they have really expanded. 16 of them are in South Korea and the Philippines, so they've got international as well. So we got some doughnuts today. The Mars attacks aliens, did they grab the big doughnut? Mars attacks, it is referenced in Mars attacks.

Hands off, you little fuckers. It's referenced in Iron Man 2, it's of course referenced in The Simpsons a number of times. Hands off to Iron Man as well, I don't want him doing that. Yeah, Iron Man, don't touch it. You leave those to us, sir. So I went- Home don't touch it. Hey, you leave those to us, sir. So I went- Homer can touch it. Yesterday, I did go to the original Inglewood location. And I also went to a nearby chain locations in Culver City right afterwards, just to see

how that compared. And then today we had this big order of to-go donuts. So we've had the full Randy's experience, and we'll represent that on the podcast. But yes, the Inglewood donut really is big. What I'll say, and Gareth, I'm wondering your take on this, but like there are these landmark LA establishments and we get asked about restaurants all the time. I will always tell people like, don't bother going to Pinks,

which is the hot dog stand. I'm just like, the hot dogs are whatever and it's not that cool of a- The line is not always indicative of worth. Exactly, yeah. But the Randy's doughnut, I actually think, it is kind of cool to go, because that doughnut, again, it's really big as fuck.

It's a huge doughnut, and you're looking up at that, and you're just like, man, it's kind of cool to see. I agree. I think, like, it is one of those things. You know, when you, like, because I moved here, obviously, when I first moved here, there were just certain things where you're like, what is that? And then finally going to those places, they are.

There's, you know, and then it's like, what has happened now to what you're saying with 50 locations in the last 10 years? The places get expanded and franchised and all that. But really, when there is like an original flagship place of something like that that's on the map, it is interesting. Yeah. And the donuts are unbelievable.

Yeah. I really think they are. It's justifiably a landmark. Can I go back to the Mars attacks and I'll answer in a second? Yeah. Just thinking of how rude they are, that they come here, they see the big donut, which is beautiful,

and they decide to destroy it. Well, they just don't understand us. That is also true. They hate us for our freedom. It's the same thing that happened with Afghanistan in the 2000s. I mean, they hate us for our freedom. They hate our freedom.

Osama and the aliens from- Very similar. They're very similar type. Yeah, absolutely. But how can you not see that big donut and just think, that's cool? It is cool. They're nasty.

Yeah, no, we do not welcome them. No, they're nasty. This show is against them without question. Yeah. The Inglewood one was hopping yesterday, midday. Which one was? The Inglewood, the original location. I was like, there were a lot of people there,

a lot of people taking photos. There was a point where I was like, I group texted us, I was like, maybe I'll try to take a pic of all the tourists taking selfies of people taking photos. There was a point where I was like, I group texted us, I was like, maybe I'll try to take a pic of all the tourists taking selfies. And then I realized how many kids were there, and I was like, I don't want to be the middle aged man taking a photo of a bunch of children, I don't know. So I decided not to do it. Call me next time, I'm fine being there.

I actually love it, I relish it. I don't even have it, I don't even text it to anyone. I'm just like, I want people nervous around me. But there were a lot of people there. And there's a K-Line stop now, the new train line, and right by there, and there are tourists just walking from the train station straight to the Randy's.

So it is a destination. They have a seasonal mango tahin-raised donut and a maple long jawn I got, which we also got today. I also got the hot butter crumb latte. And then I went over to Culver City location, which is just a little kind of a kiosk strip mall location. Double stop for you. Yeah, you're really doing your homework. Well, I was also like, I was like,

look, I should make a pilgrimage. I've been to the Randy's in the past, but it's been many years. I was like, I should make a pilgrimage to the original for covering it, because that's part of the Randy's experience. Like, so I'll just do that. And I don't, I live in the West side, so I live too far from it.

It was a reasonable trip for me. And then like on the way back, there was another Randy's. So I was like, I'll just do that. And I don't, I live in the West Side, so I don't live too far from it. It was a reasonable trip for me. And then like on the way back, there was another Randy. So I was like, I'll just stop by there just to see how it compares. I worked there for a month in preparation for this episode. I didn't want to say it, but I, if we're really, I'm not trying to compete. No, I don't know.

You did a lot, but I worked there for a month. I worked there for one month in the back. That's pretty damn good. I mean, you know, I met Randy. I told this story, I don't have the exact quote in front of me, but this was a thing I read when I was doing my research, is that Randy, the titular Randy's wife, saw the big donut. She had a story of like coming to, I think, moving to America

and landing at LAX and seeing the Big Donut as she got off of her plane or as she was on the 405 freeway. And then her quote was like, I saw the Big Donut and I didn't realize I would marry that man someday. Wow. Amazing.

Also he should have been called the Big Donut. That's what I'd be like, call me the Big Donut. Like as he's like in his Scarface era. He's the Big Donut. Like, is he's like in his Scarface era? He's like, the Big Donut! Respect! But that is really strange. It's also, what a way to know you're in America. Right, right. You're just like, okay, there you are for real with this stuff.

There was that period in like the 50s where they were just building things that were just big versions of what the business was. It was just like, I think programmatic architecture I think it's called. And it's, yeah, it's just like there'd be like a big hot dog. And it's like, that's the hot dog place. OK, so that's my pitch on the head gum revamp. You guys on top of it. That's pretty good. Two Doughboys figures.

I guess we could just stand up there. People think we're the big version of ourselves. Ha ha ha. You're going to the bathroom? Well, that's strange. One of them's, one of the statues is always missing. One of them is missing. On the always missing. What are you doing? On the ladder again.

What are you doing? The other one is definitely a statue just while you're standing there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I like the big, I like the big thing. I like the big thing too. It's fun.

The brown derby is a lot of fun. Brown derby's a lot of fun. Rest in peace to the brown derby. There's one left in Disney. Disney World. Yeah, yeah, that's fun. I like it. Okay, so let me just run down the roster of donuts

we got today and then I'll also talk about some of the ones that I had in my own trips. So we got the maple-raised churro, the Nutella-raised, red velvet ganache, apple fritter, blueberry iced cake. Apple fritter was one, Emma's not here, but I asked Emma to pick out a donut. She said apple fritter. Blueberry iced cake.

Hold on, you had already picked apple fritter. Yeah, but I said like, Emma, you pick one, and pick out a donut. She said apple fritter. Blueberry ice-cake- Hold on, you had already picked apple fritter. Yeah, but I said like, Emma, you pick one, and she said, I'll also do apple fritter. So we got an apple fritter. So you said apple fritter, but she did say a second one, which we didn't get. I guess we could have gotten two apple fritters, but we didn't finish that.

No, she said a second donut. Wait, she did? Yeah. What was the second one? I didn't see it, what was it? I look it up. Blueberry ice cake, chocolate buttermilk, chocolate chip cake, chocolate raised,

devil's food that was Amelia's pick. Amelia's choice? Millie's choice. Millie's choice. Glazed Crondi. Crondi is their version of a, what else do they call the, some other place has a thing they call the croissant donut.

I forget what that branding is, but this is their croissant donut, that's their branding. Glazed old fashioned, maple war, matcha raised, pink raised with sprinkles, pink sprinkles, ice cake. I can't believe we ate all this. Strawberry jelly filled, and then the mysterious Randy's Choice. Yeah. We'll get to the Randy's Choice in a second.

Oh boy, howdy will we? Um, Emma, I love an apple fritter or a strawberry frosted. That's what she said. Oh, I didnitter or a strawberry frosted. That's what she said. Oh, I didn't see the strawberry frosted. Well, she said or, so I picked apple fritter. And then I wrote a bunch down and I said, if Garth doesn't pick.

This is insulting. And I'm gonna be honest with you, this is the other crazy thing. I was, I did have Wayne's World 2 on at the time. So I don't know if that was. Must be a Freudian slip. You were so sad when you got here, you were like, oh, that guy, Gareth.

Oh. Not Gareth. We moved in an hour earlier for him? That's not as okay. No, this was perfect. I was very excited to eat here because I don't have a ton of experience with it. And I'm just gonna say right off the bat,

likes the donuts were good. The donuts were really good. because I don't have a ton of experience with it. And I'm just gonna say right off the bat, Wikes, the donuts were good. The donuts were really good. So I grew up in Southern California, and I'm familiar with the kind of place that Randy's is. Like the place we went to was Martha's Donuts in Long Beach all the time. It was the exact same sort of thing.

Like probably these donuts were just, they were pretty much one-to-one with what I remember. And there are a lot of these places in Southern California that are, you know, they have a pink cardboard box, and a lot of them are owned by Cambodian immigrant families. And they're independent companies, but a lot of them are sourcing their ingredients from the same place,

so the donuts are all pretty similar. Like, I'm used to this style of donut, and I think Randy's executes it at a very good level. It's like, as they've expanded, the one thing I will say, you hear Casino Magnate acquiring this place, it's not the kind of person you wanna give the benefit of the doubt.

But when I've read about this guy, Mark Kolegian, is that he seems to understand the appeal of Randy's, and is like, we're gonna keep the donuts cheap, we're gonna keep the donuts the way they are. Like, we're not going to make these, this gentrified like $8 donut. We're going to keep having the same menu that Randy's is known for.

We're just going to have more places. And I do like that approach. Yeah. I think it's so funny where like we live in the time where it's the genius business move is to be like, I'll keep the thing that succeeded greatly the exact same way. Right, right.

Shrewd move, Magnate. But the tendency is to fuck with these places. Oh, completely. And that happens very often. The one thing they have added is more of a, like more espresso drinks. They've expanded the coffee side of the menu. And the burritos, is that all new or that was always there?

Yeah, I'm not sure if that's always, that wasn't the original. I got a lemonade today. Look at the separation on this lemonade, by the way. That's not great. Yeah, no. That's oil and that's oil vinegar there. Burritos are new. Burritos are new? Okay. So add some more savory items too. But let's start with the donuts,

because that's the whole reason to go to a donut shop. I mean, I thought they were all pretty great. I was a fan of, I mean, like I'm a big apple fritter guy, like Emma. I like that quite a bit. The maple-raised churro, like I'm a big Apple fritter guy like Emma, I liked that quite a bit. The maple raised churro, which I'm looking at that one as like, all right, this feels like this will be a gimmick, but the texture from the churro sat in really nicely with the maple.

I thought that one was maple. I felt like a hat on a hat maybe, but then it did work. It worked great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we all got a bit of the churro too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I very much enjoyed that one. It did, it looked gimmicky, but it was good.

It did. And the Krondi is actually one. It did, it looked gimmicky, but it was good. It did. And the Krondy is actually one I got yesterday, and it's really dense. It's really heavy. Like I can't imagine taking a full one of those to the Dome, because it's also, it's like, it's a big boy. It's a substantial sum bitch.

So I'm like, I took like a corner of it, and you know, it's flaky, it's layered, it's nicely sweet, but not too sweet, but I thought it was delightful. That was fantastic. Same. I really like the Crondi. I didn't think I would. I don't normally like the croissanti donuts

or anything like that. Here is my big surprise. I said this when we were eating it, but the chocolate, what was it? The chocolate butter bar? Chocolate buttermilk. the chocolate butter bar? Chocolate buttermilk. The chocolate buttermilk.

Which was a bar. And the apple fritter. Usually these are like two star items and then I actually thought those were kind of the more on the weaker end. I liked the fritter, but I've had better fritters even at kind of like chainy places before. I thought this one was just okay.

But I thought all the donuts were fantastic. And like I said, that chocolate raised, a chocolate frosted as they're called at Dunkin's, was, I loved it. It was fantastic. Let me go back to yesterday real quick, cause I got a maple long John yesterday at the original location.

It was before or after taking pictures of the children at that time. Were you celebrating? Yeah. Got away with it. I'm sorry, you knew it was too weird. You had the children take a picture of you on their phone. Do you mind if I get one of you, the kids, and me together? So who are you?

I have a podcast. Do you want us to send that to you? No, it's fine. That's fine. Don't delete it. We had a, I had the Maple Long John, and we also got that today. And the one I had yesterday was fantastic.

I was like, this is, and that's one of my favorite donuts. To me, that's one of the top guys is the, the maple long John. I just, I like, and- I disagree, but I, I like that you like it. I like that you like it. It's one of my personal favorites.

So I'm going to be, you know, I've got a careful eye towards judging it. And I thought it was really well executed yesterday. Today it got a little bit like lacquered to the roof of the donut box. It got boxed. Yeah, it got boxed. So it wasn't a great version of it,

but I love the one I had yesterday. And the mango tahini one, which I was very skeptical towards, it was filled with mango goo, and then it also had like a, you know, like a mango glaze on top and then some tahini for a little bit of spice and a bit of a heat seeker. I thought was also fucking great.

I was eating that. I was like, man. I know we didn't have it today with today's order. But the one I had yesterday was fantastic. Well it's good to know that you loved it so much that you didn't have, you couldn't tell us to get one for us too. I don't know.

I thought you figured you'd ordered if you wanted it. Fucking kept it to you. You kept that little secret to yourself. I wasn't trying to hoard a secret. I mean, Gareth, we kept that little secret to yourself. I wasn't trying to hoard a secret. Me and Gareth, we don't get to try it. I wasn't trying to exclude anybody. Only Garth. Me and Garth.

Thank you. Me and Garth didn't get to try it. Yeah, we're furious. It sounds good. It was, no, I was like, I'll take a bite of this basically for the podcast. That's why I ordered it just because this feels weird and then I ended up eating the whole thing

because it was yummy. Don't they end up putting the little wax paper on the donuts sometimes, though it doesn't roof lacquer? They will sometimes. It's interesting. Didn't happen today. Interesting they didn't do it. They probably didn't know how the spotlight

would be on them today. Yeah. Preserved with some Joe regulars. Randy's shaking in his fucking boots right now. Yeah, or Grave, I don't know how old he is. Yeah, he might be dead. By the way, if he has passed away, we should bring him back.

That's a perfect one. Make burgers out of him. I don't know how old he is. Yeah, he might be dead. By the way, if he has passed away, we should bring him back. That's a perfect one. Make burgers out of him. Make Randy burgers. Yeah. The bravest insult. The Long John to me is the most nostalgic one. Right.

Like that really does remind me of being a kid. Like you were saying, it's the Sunday morning, you did a sleepover, someone has brought a big thing of donuts. The Long John to me is the quintessential donut. And the disappointment when there'd be cream in the Long John, I always felt, too. Yeah, we went no cream. Yeah. I just want to say Randy might be in some sort of donut hell

where donuts are dunking him into a coffee. You never know. You are really good at inverting what the system will be based on today's world we live in. The cats are eating us, Randy's getting dunked. Randy's getting dunked into a coffee, a boiling hot coffee like. Oh my God.

And then getting eaten by the donut, that can't be nice. But that's what he gets. That's your punishment. Suitably ironic punishment. Yes, yeah. For creating a donut job. That's why the devil's hyped so much, he's just good at this. He's why the devil's hyped so much.

He's just good at this. He's very good at it. On the day of the new pope, I don't know if we should talk. The devil's a little bit, the devil has a slight period, if things were not good this past week, it's because the devil gets a little, there's no pope, you know what I'm saying? Oh, so right. The devil's got a little bit of power and then now the pope is back. He's got the window. Yeah, right's in. That window is out now.

Yeah. While we're talking about the devil, we should talk about his famous food, the devil's food, of course. Are you talking about Millie's Choice? Yeah. I'm talking about Millie's Choice, the devil's food. Wow.

You know, this is not my favorite, the chocolate on chocolate. Yeah. That is a fine execution of it. Wow, Millie's Choice just got flushed. I don't know, what did you think, Amelia? I loved the devil's food. You loved it. Wow, Millie's Choice just got flushed. I don't know, what did you think, Amelia? I loved the devil's food. You loved it.

I loved Millie's Choice. You also love a cake donut in general. A cake donut over a raise. Versus a raised donut, yeah. Yeah, I don't know what it is about cake donuts, but I think about Dunkin' Munchkins. And that's what I grew up eating, so I always have a fondness for the chocolate

or the white power. You gotta call them little donuts now, I believe. Little donuts, oh, okay. Yeah. Wrong term. They have a lobby now. I thought of the other, of the cake donuts, you thought the chocolate chip cake

was a little plain, Mitch, but I was like, I like that. I liked it. That's again, a thing that to me, it feels like I have nostalgia for. It's just like, sometimes we just get a plain donut in the box. And I kind of liked it. It's just like, really, the texture of it.

What's the last donut place we did? Remember we got? That's a great question. We've done some, do you remember, Amelia? Sidecar? Sidecar donut we did in recent memory. Sidecar is like the gentrified donut place. Voodoo.

Voodoo donuts, yeah. Oh, those are good. Voodoo donuts I think we did further in the past. Sidecar is the last one we did, and we were giving it a hard time. I feel like we revisited Krispy Kreme, because they had something seasonal. Oh, right, we did do Krispy Kreme.

Pop darts. Pop darts donuts, yeah. When we were eating sidecar donuts, I just remember shitting on it and being like, fuck this, and it was a very different attitude today towards these donuts. But part of that is, again, it's just like, sidecar is presenting an upscale version of it.

Like it's like, this is a premium artisanal donut, we're gonna charge you like $9 for our premium donuts, and they're indulgent, but they're all little unga-pachka They've all got a little too much going on I gotta say the donuts today just fucking beat him a taste test hands down beat him I'd rather have the working-class and that's the other thing I will say about like going to the Randy's like yeah There were a bunch of tourists there, but then there were also guys with just like, you know Yeah, you guys perfect for you can hire them to like fan you and like massage your feet

perfect for you. You can hire them to like fan you and like massage your feet. It's perfect. The working-class people there. Get your athletes food for you. There you go. No, there were like, you know, there were like just like roofers who were waiting to get some donuts. No, that's what I do. We'd work and then we'd like literally at lunch you'd go get a couple donuts. Yeah. Probably not the best. See the chocolate, the devil's food. I've questioned if he's ever held a hammer in his life. Me? I've held a hammer. Him?

Yeah. Hammer brothers don't count if you're talking Mario. What do you mean, an actual hammer? Held a hammer brother? You get what I'm saying. You've actually held a hammer? Have you held a hammer? I've held a hammer, yeah.

Yeah, that's all right. My dad is an incredibly talented woodworker. Is he? Yeah, yeah. I've mentioned this to you a number of times, but it was like- George, I love it. It was, no, but it was kind of the, I will say as a shitty little kid,

he was always like, let me show you how to do this. And I'd be like, I would be holding a hammer, brother. I'm playing video games. You know, you're like completely uninterested. And then I look back later, like later in life, I have to teach myself these skills from like YouTube videos. And I'm like, I wish I had paid any attention to when my dad was trying to help me out.

My mom was like, you can't do wood shop in high school. She was like, you can't do it. She wouldn't let me do wood shop. And then I'm like, that would be the most useful skill in the world to have. There's so many classes you would swap for either learning how to cook, garden or make. For sure. Yeah. No. I mean, I don't think that I should swap these glasses,

but I would swap all my language classes because I just didn't learn any. I would. I never learned a language. Yeah. If I could hammer something. Yeah. I mean, this sounds like a very, this sounds like a boat to yell.

This is how workers talk. No, this is like a hammer. It sounds like a boat to yell turtle power. But I'm like, if I gave up Latin for being able to like drill something, it would be huge. I think that's the good swap. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

I took keyboarding in high school, which you don't, do they even teach that anymore? Typing? Typing, I feel like kids just know how to do it. I know. Anyway. It's more like this now. That's what I was gonna say.

That's also true. I wonder if there's probably a generation- A texting class? Yeah, that doesn't necessarily know how to type like this unless she's doing it with her thumb. I think it's gotta be that. You're not even gonna need it anymore. It's true.

Yeah, it's gonna be gone. Anyways, the working class, going and getting a donut, like a, you know what, the box of Joe from Dunkin' Donuts and some munchkins, if you're working a summer job and you're working on a deck or something, that's a great thing to have. Oh yeah.

Wags, I do like the fact that Randy's, well it's funny that you say it's like a working class thing because it is a tourist destination too, but. But the price point of the donuts is still low. Yeah. And it's still like, it's making the stuff on site, but it's like, you know, it's a making the approachable, affordable version of it.

And as they've scaled up, as they've added locations, they have not like, you know, made things more expensive or fancy or anything. They've just maintained the same level of quality that they had. We should talk about Randy's Choice Donuts. Yeah, so Randy's Choice was, so the number of doughnuts we ordered,

I think tallied to like 17 or something like that. It wasn't quite 18. And so it was like a dozen and a half. I wonder why. It was a... What happened? Keep listening people. It was an odd number.

And I guess because- So we got a Randy's Choice. Yes, because there was a vacancy in the box. They were like, well, to complete it, we'll just fill it in with a Randy's Choice. Yes, because there was a vacancy in the box, they were like, well, to complete it, we'll just fill it in with a Randy's Choice, which they charged us for and was included as Randy's Choice on the receipt. Now we went through and we tried to catalog

each of the donuts that we were given and each of the items on our order to figure out which of the donuts was the elusive Randy's Choice donut. It turned out there just was no Randy's Choice Donut. It just what Randy's Choice was. Randy's Choice was that we've had enough to eat. Yeah.

Yeah, Randy made a real decision on our behalf back then. Which honestly, a good decision. I don't think we needed the extra donuts. It's the principle. Yes. Garrett, did you want to send Amelia back to Pasadena to get the extra- I don't think it's crazy to make her drive a half hour to go.

It's a justice drive. I agree with you. It's a justice drive. I've done so many- The amount of pushback from Amelia, it was shocking. Crying. Yeah, just, no, we don't have time. You know how many justice drives, or like, just for like-

I've done so much stuff to just be like, I was wronged for $1.50. Never worth it. Go back to the end of the drive through your waiting in a longer line, and they're like, I've done so much stuff to just be like, I was wronged for a dollar 50. Never worth it. Go back to the end of the drive through your waiting in a longer line, and they're like, what can we help you with? You're like, I have business at window two. They, it's so stupid.

So stupid. But there's a 7-Eleven near me, I've told you this, Wags, not to dox myself, but there's a 7-Eleven near me, and they charged me for an extra Gatorade once, and it still annoys me, and I'm gonna steal a Gatorade from them at some point, an adult man. I think you're safe from the doxing with a 7-Eleven being close to you by the way.

Yeah, that's also a good point. They've really opened up a lot of those. They have. Like, I know where he lives. Everywhere. I told this on the podcast before, but once I bought two ice cream sandwiches from the liquor store, this was just like last year, maybe two years ago.

That sentence is also pretty depressing. It's tough. I think you have held a hammer. I bought a... Not for construction reasons, but for... Yeah, there's no nails, but you definitely have a hammer going in. A liquor store Thor.

I got two Chipwiches from the liquor store, and then I got, I like saw the receipt and I realized he only charged me for one, but it was when I actually, I already left. And so I went back and I knew the guy. So I went back later and I got one Chipwich and I like said, hey, charge me for two. And he was like, why?

I was like, oh yeah, I got two last time he only charged me for one. And he was like, oh, good man, you're honest. I said like, hey. And then he pointed up a god for some reason. Oh wow. Every part of that was so lovely until the end. I don't know why I did that. Like, god's getting involved.

I'm gonna go to heaven for this one. Also that guy now is just like, he thinks of you much differently. He did think that's kinda weird. Yeah. Well in the afterlife, when they're like, well you didn't beat a man with a hammer. Also that guy now is just like he thinks of you much differently. He did think it was kind of weird. Yeah. Well in the afterlife when they beat a man with a hammer.

That Chipwitch shout out was pretty big. Don't think we didn't notice that one up here. That was awesome. I don't think I can handle beating a man with a hammer. Oh you can. It'd be so visceral. Once the first couple is tough and then you just fight through it. But there's something about like-

You know what's gonna happen, last episode of Door Boys, no one's in here, just you. I come in, put a hammer on the table, lock the door and we see what happens. You think you would be able to take, you think you would be able to, if it's you, your life is on the line. And I gotta kill you with a hammer?

Yeah. What an ending. That's crazy to think about. I think I could take you out, but I would not be happy about it. And I'd be like, why did it come to this? I think I would beat you, to be honest with you. If I have the hammer?

Locked door. I locked the door. Lock the door. Yeah, lock the door. I locked the door just to be safe. I locked the door. I throw a hammer on the table. Yeah. Ooh. And then it's, you know, then we're sitting

and the hammer's on the table. It's first to the hammer. Yeah. You shouldn't have thrown it, first of all. But I think that I would be able to, I think I'd be able to crunch you against the wall and have you drop the hammer's on the table. It's first to the hammer. Yeah. You shouldn't have thrown it, first of all. But I think that I would be able to, I think I'd be able to crunch you against the wall and have you drop the hammer. Crunch you against the wall's an interesting way to put it.

Yeah, that is interesting. I don't know, I feel like I would get- You don't have the room to run around in here. I think I'd quickly get the hammer and I think it would go into a defensive position. And I think also just having a weapon would be such an advantage in close combat. That I think I'd probably, if I could get to it first,

I think it'd probably win. Let's say there's two hammers, and you each get a hammer. If it's hammer versus hammer. By the way, this glass wall's paying for itself already. And we're talking claw hammers, so you could really do some damage. Well, yeah, if you choose to go that side, sure. So you've got a hammer, I've got a hammer,

and we're just fighting each other. We're hammer brothers. We're hammer brothers. Whoa you've got a hammer, I've got a hammer, and we're just fighting each other. We're hammer brothers. We're hammer brothers. Whoa! That would be tough, because I'd be so, I would know it would hurt so bad to get hit with a hammer. Yes. That would really make me-

Look, the real answer is we'd both be crying. I would be very scared. Yeah, we both would end up on the floor crying. If I had to fight, I'd be very sad if I had to kill you with a hammer, and then if I had to fight you and you also had a hammer, I'd be very scared. That's nice.

Would you be really sad? That's nice to hear. I want to kill my friend? That's nice, I can't tell with you. You think I'm a fucking monster? I can't tell. I can't tell with him sometimes. I think this is a really special moment.

Yeah, this is nice, I said it was nice. This is good before going into the Boston show to know that if he had to kill you with a hammer, there'd be some mixed emotions. Yeah. Probably get killed by someone with a hammer in the Knicks game when I'm wearing my Celtics hat anyways. It would be fine.

It's not a bad way to go. I wouldn't coldly bludgeon you to death. I would feel conflicted about it. Yeah. Like if I had to do it to spy. You're more of like a potions guy. You're slowly poisoning me. Oh, shit.

A poisonous mist man. A potion guy. I love to be a potions guy. That is nice, too. You're mist man. A potion guy. Love to be a potions guy. That is nice, too. You're an apothecary. Ha ha ha ha ha. Alchemist is an underused class. There should be more alchemists in RPGs.

It's fun to mix potions. And in real life, and there are not enough potions going on. But anyways, Randy's Choice, that's how we got here? It's a tough gear shift to go from potions back to Randy's Choice, but yes, because again, it felt like a donut did vanish upon us. 100%. That's a great bow.

Well, and I don't know if we're going to be able to get word to Randy. I mean, I would imagine Randy's Donuts will hear about this. But is Randy dead, I guess guess is the big question you pose, which I'm not sure. I don't know. I honestly, my instinct is that Randy's dead. I believe that Randy has passed away,

but I don't have that in front of me. I'll look it up. Yeah. But it's a, yeah, the top line of this is that Randy's choice- Doesn't exist. Yeah, we didn't get one. We didn't get one. But knife in his, nice to have that Doesn't exist. Yeah, we didn't get one.

We didn't get one. And I think it's nice to have that mango donut. Sucks that we didn't get it. But anyways. Mango donut was good. The other thing I got in the, so I got the hot butter crumb latte, which was better than I expected.

I worried it would be way too sweet. That was delicious. The mango lemonade, which I got at the Culver City location was disgusting. It was the worst thing I had for Randy's. It was way too sickly sweet. It was like a melted starburst. I obviously didn't drink very much of the strawberry lemonade,

but it was that sort of thing. We were eating donuts. Donuts are already sweet. And then I was tasting this, and it was like, didn't taste sweet because of all the sweetness. Your palate had been thrown so much. Yeah, I'm afraid to, just with my stomach, I'm afraid to do this, but I'm going to give it another taste. I thought it was fine for a strawberry lemonade.

It was OK. It was nothing. But it's also that sort of thing of what do you sell there? It should just be coffee, right? Like, I think all the drinks thing. It was. It was for, so that is the thing. That's probably where the magnate comes into play.

100%. The one bad idea, it sounds like, is the Vegas magnate guy. He's expanded all the drink stuff. Yes, drink up, my boy. What, you gonna? Sip more of my potions. Oh my God! No! No!

No! No! Sip. I should have guessed with the viscosity of this thing. It does look very potions. We checked the menu, we're like, actually they do only serve coffee. Oh my God.

This is not a bad tasting, do you want to? I mean, it does not look appetizing. Sure. I wonder what you think. It's not mixed. Yeah, it's not mixed. You're going to find it should be very sweet. It tastes very much like a strawberry.

Want to try it? I guess we're all trying the strawberry one. You know, it kind of tastes, remember those, um... It's not bad. What are those ice creams that, uh, not ice creams, but they were like the ice, like the fruity ice treats when you were a kid that came in the long plastic thing. Oh, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, sometimes you just let those melt and just drink that. Like an Otter Pop?

Yeah, right, exactly. That's way better than... It tastes like, it kind of reminds me of one of those a little bit, if you let it melt. That's a little sweet for me, but it's way better than the mango one. I wonder if he just put in too much syrup in the mango lemonade that he got me yesterday. It's got chunks in it.

Yeah. That's great. There's a little bit of strawberry chunks in there. Where's my English mouth falling apart again? It's like, drink. We should talk about the savory side. So we did get a breakfast burrito. Mitch, you got a breakfast burrito,

and you were kind enough to share it with me. So I had half of that, son of a bitch. And it was a lot better than I expected. Yes, it was. Kind of a lifesaver, too, when we were eating the sweet. I wish you had gotten something like that, because it was helpful. Having anything salty slash savory.

Sorry. In contrast with a squished sugar. I was watching Furious. No, no, no. No, it was, it looked good though. Yeah, not bad. Tasty, you got one of these too. I'm gonna say something that's very controversial.

Here we go. Are you ready for this? This is bad news. People won't be happy. Okay. Breakfast burritos, overrated. Whoa, wow. That's an insane take, Mitch.

I know. I told you it was gonna be fucking controversial. It's controversial. Still. A breakfast sandwich is better. Breakfast burrito, they make you feel like shit. Boy, I feel like a breakfast burrito is less heavy than a breakfast sandwich.

I feel like it's generally a little bit less ready. This is insane talk here. And sometimes I get like some beans in there, that'll help. Bacon egg and cheese on a croissant is a million times lighter than a breakfast burrito. I don't know. I think it depends.

I can't cosign it. I love the swing. Yeah. I like a breakfast sandwich, too. Look, I think that there's good breakfast burritos. Don't get me wrong. I think to what you were alluding to, the burrito is a pocket for so many things that could never

exist in between two slices. Yes. The beans, the rice. I love burritos. Well, tell that to your earlier statement. could never exist in between two slices. Yes. The beans, the rice. I love burritos. I love burritos. Well, tell that to your earlier statement. A burrito is my favorite. I like burritos more than tacos.

I love burritos. Breakfast burritos specifically, eh. I don't know. A lot of potato in there a lot of the time. Amelia's, the potato can be good. The potato, I love that. Amelia's backing me up a little bit here. Oh, fuck. I couldn't disagree more. Can't read her face. I know Amelia pretty well and she's 100% with me. Don't talk into the mic.

Millie's choice, I guess, is the breakfast burrito. But I, I, look, just scrambled eggs on their own, eggs ben their own, eggs Benedict, a breakfast sandwich, I want all of them before I want a breakfast burrito. That's interesting. I, yeah, I don't agree, but I, I get it, but I think lighter to me, the burrito is lighter than the croissant to me. Really?

Yeah. I agree. They're bomb, gut bombs, these things. I think it's just less bready. Oh, it depends on how you construct it, though. It depends on what protein you put on there. To Gareth's point, what other components are part of it. Yeah, if you're just getting egg, bacon,

and hash browns in there, yeah, that's a dense meal. But you can mix it up a little bit. Look at this thing. Look at the bisect of this thing. I remember it. But Mitch, what you're showing is, this is not like, hey, this place is known for their breakfast burritos.

Sure. This place has great breakfast burritos. I know that. This has it as like an extra thing. Look, I said it would be controversial. I spoke my fucking mind. Well, I hope you feel lighter than when you went to the bathroom.

I'm walking on air right here. You know what else I like about the burrito? Can be a hand food or could be a knife and fork or. That's the thing I was gonna say. Okay, I like that side of it. Cause you were comparing it to like, you brought up eggs Benedict and that's a completely different experience.

Like if you're eating eggs Benedict, you're eating a breakfast burrito, there's a completely different context. Ready for this shit? Yeah. You're gonna be pissed. Go for it. I like breakfast tacos more than I like breakfast burritos.

That I'm fine with. That's been okay to me. Yeah, don't hate that. That's reasonable. I have no idea what the fuck I'm expecting you people I can't eat with alchemist anymore. I'd rather have a breakfast burrito than a breakfast taco, but I like breakfast tacos Those are great. Yeah, I think they're overrated with that place. We were in Texas So long ago now like our like second don't you remember the the the Amelia we look it up our like second year of trying. The, the, the, the Amelia, were you looking up?

Torchese tacos? Torchese tacos. Great breakfast tacos. I like those little migas there. Isn't that what they call the, isn't that the? Yeah, they got- Specialty taco?

Yeah. And also- They have migas at home state too. Home state, yes. Home state, great breakfast tacos. I like the, I like the breakfast where you get the tortillas you can make your own. I also like that.

Oh, that's fun. I like that. Enjoyable, flour over corn, all the way flour over corn a lot of breakfast burritos are just overrated. I'm sorry Down on this I'm doubling down you're asking for a future generation to put you in some sort of cybernetic hell where you're wrapped a tortilla They're gonna take your guts and your bones and put it as a side portion of your skin tortilla. Well, I have kind of already constructed human burrito in a way. Whoa, now I gotta go to the bathroom. What just happened?

That's it. I think it's very, if this was the breakfast burrito you had and someone was like, hey, you gotta try this thing to see what all the fuss is about, I could understand you being underwhelmed. Because I think this breakfast burrito was fine, but the tortilla was a this thing to see what all the fuss is about, I could understand you being underwhelmed. Because I know why it's fine, but the tortilla was a little bit gummy,

it was clearly not fresh, the interior components were pretty dry, and all they had was some tapatillo packets, which I, for the life of me, could not get open. You tried the knife, you had the knife. I needed a knife. You needed a knife for it. I opened on my own, I did it just with my old teeth,

my chompas, as they say in old, in very old England. Well, they don't have a lot of them, but the ones they do, they're sturdy. The ones that hang around, they're workers. They're worker chompers. They hang around. I just forced it open with my teeth there. I thought the breakfast burrito was okay for,

I think for what it was, we weren't expecting great things. I think that like, okay, it makes sense that this is on the menu, it's fine. But breakfast burritos as a whole, I say this because I know there are others like me who will agree with me and back me up here. A lot won't agree with me.

I wonder why he opens it up to breakfast burritos because that seems cost-wise, like it would be adding a whole nother layer to what's already a pretty cheap, easy business model. Yeah, and they have some other breakfast sandwiches there now, too. Again, I don't know the exact timeline of when these things were introduced.

I do know specifically the drink menu was vastly extended. I blame the Magnate for anything that I don't care for. Could be, yeah. Always. And I mean, definitely, if you're gonna criticize this place, it's the stuff other than the donuts. Like, the banana matcha I got was, I thought was pretty bad.

And I like matcha. I'm not someone who- Banana matcha sounds crazy. Have you had anything like that before? I've had matchas with like coconut or strawberries. I haven't had specifically with banana, which is kind of the only way I wanted to try it. What happened there just a second ago?

I just went a little bit of a mayonnaise. Okay, yeah, no. Am I allowed to talk about what just happened? Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, okay, yeah. No, no, it's actually good that you pointed it out. Is this the thing nobody has the guts to bring up and you guys are just letting it happen regularly? Because someone needs to step in.

That's the craziest thing since the burrito tape. It's actually helped me in a way. I feel better. The matcha, I thought was, I don't know, it tasted a little bit, I got the hints of banana from it. I just don't think it was a particularly good matcha. And I think it maybe needed more sweetness in order to work conceptually. But as such, it just kind of tasted like an off-putting matcha

with a weird sort of fragrance or aura to it, you know? I don't know, I thought it was pretty unpleasant. I thought it sucked. I tried it. You really did not like it. It's not good. Not good. No, my girlfriend got me into matcha a little bit, and then when you have one that's bad,

it's the worst. Yeah, yeah. So when you have a good one, you're like, oh, it was amazing, better than anything. And then when you have a bad one, you're like, that's fucking horrible. This was a subpar matcha. And they're also doing boba there now too, which I'm not sure why they're doing that exactly. Yeah, he's put it, magnet.

It's got a magnet written all over it. How was your coffee? Empty, it was good. It's empty now. I loved it. I thought it was really good. I thought very good coffee. I'm a pretty easy sell on stuff like that though.

Only in the past couple of years have I started to pay attention, but it was good. Nice medium, good flavor, nothing crazy. I take it black, so you really taste it, so I liked it. That was like me with the coffee drink I got yesterday, the hot latte. This is legitimately a good version of it. I also saw that the one store that I was going to, a lot of their business, not the main store, a lot of their business was people just going in for coffee. That's a good version of it. And I also saw that, you know, the one store that I was going to, like a lot of their business, not the main store, a lot of their business was people

just going in for coffee drinks. That's a good sign. So, but yeah, the other stuff, I don't know if I'd even bother with. Like, would you ever go as like, hey, I want a breakfast burrito, as a breakfast burrito skeptic. Even if you were like,

for whatever reason you were craving one, you would never go here for a breakfast burrito. No. Yeah, there'd be no reason to do it. Yeah, no way. Can I just say this? Yeah. No. Yeah, there'd be no reason to do it. Yeah, no way. Can I just say this? Yeah. Subpar, good on the links, not with the drinks.

Ooh. Mitch, that was really good. There we go. Really well crafted. You're back. You are back. It's hammer time. We've done the subpar thing before multiple times.

Have we? Yeah, I think yes. What are the days that- 10 years, you're like, I think we said that already. I do that on, like, I've been doing the dollar for 10 years. There are times where I'm like, I believe I've done this guy five times. Like this little stupid character, you hacky old man.

We have one, we basically just have one, he kind of sounds like this, so one guy that we do. Yeah, I've got... Oh, I forgot about the character. That guy? This guy, we had a character this guy. We do this guy. We do this guy.

What does this guy do? What does this guy do? What does this guy do? Yeah. It's gonna remind me. Kind of a prospector. I think so, yeah. Yeah, right, yeah.

I think he's just sort of a weird old man. He's a weird old man. I think he likes breastfeeding. Oh, right, right, right. He does like breastfeeding. He likes going to mommy and me screenings. Just me breastfeeding. It's like, yeah. You gotta define him, and me screenings. Just me breastfeeding.

You got to define him. And that's perfect. I believe he's the breastfeeding guy. That's the guy. Thank you, Amelia. Thank you. Yeah, the men couldn't prompt that specific detail. So yeah, where were we?

Where were we in the mills? Oh, I was asking the dais what you thought about the breakfast videos, because you both got one, I was asking the deus what you thought about the breakfast burritos, because you both got one. I was saying that it reminded me of just like a classic bodega sausage egg and cheese sandwich, or like on a bagel. Like it had that East Coast flair to it. Bagel egg and cheese, seems like you like that too, huh?

I do, I do like that, but I like breakfast burritos. You like a bagel, egg, and cheese more than a breakfast burrito? Yeah. That's a fine take. Interesting, interesting, interesting. Your witness. I thought it was like, yeah, pretty like middle of the road. Yeah. Breakfast burrito. But I also would prefer a bacon, egg, and cheese.

Interesting, interesting, interesting. So you two are just sitting over there the whole time. I like a breakfast burrito. Same. We like breakfast burrito. But I prefer a bacon, egg, and cheese. Yeah, you're not arguing. You're like, what you're arguing is that breakfast burritos are overrated.

And people go a little crazy about them. Yeah, people like them. I like them. They're fine. They're very fine. What I think we can all agree on. You can get, especially in L.A., They're fine. They're very fine. What I think we can all agree on. You can get, especially in LA, which is where Randy's is, you know, geo-located, you can get better breakfast burritos at dozens of places.

There are much better executions of this. You know what, breakfast burrito I actually do like, and it's not a great opinion, but I like the Oaks Gourmet breakfast burrito. I think it's good. And you know what it is? It's runny eggs. And I think a lot of breakfast burritos

are just scrambled eggs. Interesting, see that I don't love. I don't love the runny egg. They do like an over meaty, I will when I've gotten the breakfast burrito there before, which is good. But I would ask her like, can you just give me like an over hard egg?

Like just give me like, yeah, just cook it a little. Anything that takes me off the thinking that it is like a baby, that's helpful. The runny to me, I'm like, oh right. It's an embryo. Yeah, yes, yeah, yeah. I don't mind the runny egg in different contexts, but in this one, it's just like, it's such a mess.

Yeah, it is also, yeah, that's a home-based thing. Can't be like in the car when you're like, oh God. Right, because a breakfast burrito, what I like about it is it's contained. It's you know, it's almost no fuss. I mean, torito, what I like about it is it's contained. It's almost no fuss. I mean, to me, that's what makes it so much better than the breakfast sandwich. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

You can get it not runny with the breakfast sandwich as well, but I mean, come on, you're missing out. Stuff's dropping out of it. It's true. It's pooping all over the place. I love it. Hey, buddy. Doughboys want to talk to you about a different podcast.

A podcast called Comedy Bang Bang. Mitchie heard of this? Uh, Wags, I've heard of it, all right. Yeah, we've heard of it. The originator of all podcasts. That's right. Comedy Bang Bang. And every episode hosts Scott Aukerman, the Podfather.

The Podfather, wives. Interviews a famous guest like Andy Samberg, Sarah Silverman, or Jon Hamm. The Podfather. I'll make him a recording he can't refuse. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That could be, you know what? You'll see characters even better than that on Comedy Bang Bang Because they are joined by a few ridiculous characters played by the best Improvisers around the world people like Paul F. Tompkins Drew Tarver Lisa Gilroy who else likes Ben Rogers

John Gabris, of course Lauren Lapkus Matt Appadocka Hanford Mike and Mike had a great great improvisers great friends of doughboys who are The tart man. Yeah Carl Tart, of course Who are also part of the the comedy bang bang expanded universe? It's funny. It's silly and it's easy jump in for first time listeners Mitch and it's partly how you and I got into podcasting That's right. You check us about sporadically at some points in the back catalog this guy's got one of the most beloved characters there is Timbalt Lily Sullivan. Oh, yeah

Paul Rust so many people that we've had on our show have done characters on comedy bang bang check out new episodes of comedy bang bang Every Monday and classic episodes every Thursday wherever you listen to your podcasts Wow Wow Sean Distin Distin Distin. Distin. Distin. Bye. Bye. Bye. We should get to our final thoughts on Randy's doughnut. So Gareth, here's how this will work.

We'll each go around. We will give a closing argument, if you will, on Randy's and then end by giving it a score from zero to five forks. So your final thoughts on Randy's and then end by giving it a score from zero to five forks. So your final thoughts on Randy's based on this and any other previous visits and then your fork score. Well, it's been a while since I've had donuts on that level. Right.

So my mouth definitely got overrun with sugar. But when we were in there, I honestly, in my head, I was like, I was like, I wanted to participate in the event, but I was like, I'm not going to go crazy on the donuts. And I had a piece of every donut because every single, this is, I guess, what I kind of forgot about donuts or what, and I know I didn't say donuts properly, but that's just atrophy. What I sort of forgot or what they do very, is there's so many different consistencies. We're talking about there's the thicker ones, there's the more croissant-y ones, there's

the classic doughnut that's kind of airy. But I don't, honestly, there were a couple where I was like, not crazy about it, but that's just because... Even the red velvet one that I suggested was a little too cakey for me. Sure. I thought the OG glaze was maybe my favorite or the like croissant-y glaze or the churro one, which I know I ordered, I'm not bragging.

But also the chocolate one that you're talking about. Which I ordered. They were just, they were all so good. And it was a nostalgic eat. I thought they were made very well, even though they completely screwed us, which was in Cameron's mind. Randy, if you're alive, we're coming for you. And if you're dead, so sorry to do this. We're digging you up though. We're digging for you. And if you're dead, so sorry to do this We're digging you up though. We're gonna reanimate you through your bones and fight you with hammers

But I If you are in the mood for a doughnut And they have franchised the shit out of the place. I'm gonna go I will say donut wise it is five forks Wow five forks Yeah, that's a great score. Wow, five forks. Yeah. That's a great score. Yeah. Mitch, what do you think, your thought's your fork score. You've boosted up what I was even gonna think of.

Well, I just don't think like, I think, like there wasn't one where I was like, this donut was, they are maybe the best donuts, they might be the best donuts I've had. And I have had Voodoo and I really like Voodoo. I like Voodoo too and I think that we, we were maybe h I have had Voodoo, and I really like Voodoo. I like Voodoo too, and I think that we were maybe harsher to Voodoo when we reviewed it. But I'm less enthused about Voodoo,

because I think as Voodoo has expanded, I think the quality has declined a bit. I've had good Voodoo donuts, but the thing with Voodoo donuts is, and this is an issue with all donuts, but there were some here when I was trying them that it didn't give me the full, this is too much sugar. And there were moments that were like that,

but that chocolate glazed, I was like, this is a nice balance. It's sugary, sure, yes. All of them are sugary, but it was like, this is a nice balance as a donut. And then when I'm eating voodoo donuts, I'm like, it's so sweet They're so so damn sweet. And while you feel like

Sugared up from that meal. We wasn't like we were talking about how you're gonna feel tired I don't feel tired after it. I didn't I didn't feel like the crash necessarily which I don't know if that's an ingredient based reaction My guts are the only thing that that really were affected by by all of this. Yeah, I And look, I still had a great time. I played a character named Randy Wiggs. That's right. So it's close to my heart. On Netflix's love. The name Randy is close to my heart, I like Randy.

The Simpsons reference that you said, where Homer's sleeping in the big donut is fun. There's a number of them. There's that, there's eventually the Lard Lad donuts. That's the thing that it influences reality. Yeah, based on Bob's big boy and the Randy's donuts, now that that's like a thing. Or the one I kept thinking of in there was when Homer goes to hell. Yes.

And the devil is feeding him the donuts. You like donuts? Yeah. Here, have some donuts. And he eats all of the donuts. And they're confused by the machine that did it. The devil's like, oh my God. And then they put the donut on his head,

Wags, at the end as a punishment. That's right. Flanders, devil Flanders. Anyways, Simpsons was great. Great show. Where I also, I worked. I've talked about that on the podcast for a very, but I worked there for a good stretch of time.

I love the big donut. I do think it's a great, I'm happy that it just hasn't disappeared because we've talked about this, Wags. So many landmarks, like the, and here, I'm gonna say here, the ArcLight has been closed for so long and I don't know if it will ever reopen again.

They're just sitting on it. And it's a shame, Wags. It's a shame that it's, maybe we'll just go away. This is a landmark for people not in LA, landmark movie theater. Yeah, and they're just sitting on it. No one is reopening it.

Amoeba, another one. Amoeba, yeah, which they did reopen Amoeba at least, but it went to a new spot. But just all these things in Los Angeles, and it's just a sad thing where all these great old places are closing. And Randy's feels like it should be around for a long time Because of this thank you to this Vegas magnate that uh that is that's come in and he gives us shitty drinks

But the doughnuts remain good And I can't go below four forks. I think I'm gonna go four and a half forks Wow four and a half forks These are high scores higher than I expected and And I will say this, because my skepticism of this episode going in was knowing that Randy's had, under new ownership, it had expanded into a chain in the past decade and worried about it's just quality declining, which is a pattern we've seen,

Mitch, repeatedly. Like, you know, Halal Guys was a big one, the New Yorker one that expanded nationwide. I mean, even Shake Shack, inal Guys was a big one, the New Yorker one that expanded nationwide. I mean, even Shake Shack, in a sense, is a version of that. And, you know, like, there have been ones that have succeeded, like Dave's Hot Chicken, like, expanded and kind of was able to retain

what works about it. I was worried about that with Randy's a little bit. But I will say, I think this is... I mean, it is Randy's. I mean, like, and I think they're retaining what's special about this donut shop. And I think there's another thing that makes me... that I think of, that you've formulated in the past, Mitch,

of, like, we're now at the point where you kind of have to... rooting for the little guy is also rooting for a chain restaurant. Yes. Because, you know, so many small businesses have just been completely, you know, absorbed or assimilated or extinguished. And so the independent mom and pop donut shops, those are a dying breed. The Randy's franchise locations are kind of like the equivalent of that now

versus some of these ones like these bigger concepts like a Dunkin or a Krispy Kreme. And I will say I think their donuts are, like a Dunkin' or a Krispy Kreme. And I will say, I think their donuts are just better than Dunkin' donuts. Yes. And that's a sad thing to report, because Dunkin' used to make their donuts in-house, as Randy still does. But Dunkin' now makes everything in a corporate kitchen.

Krispy Kreme, I'm not sure. It doesn't have the killer wrap in the same way that Krispy Kreme has that fresh hot glazed, which is so, so good. But it does have some great in-house donuts. And again, I like that it's not trying to be a gimmicky place like Voodoo. I like that it's not trying to be an upscale

ginger fried place like Blue Star Donuts or Sidecar Donuts. It's remaining in the sphere in which the original Randy's has always operated. And for that reason, I think I'm going to say welcome to the Golden Plate Club Randy's Donuts. I'm going to go four forks, four forks even, because I think it's a great donut shop, and I think a lot of the other stuff

they don't need to be doing, but as far as donuts are concerned, as far as the promise of the premise, Randy's Donuts delivers on donuts. Wow. Wow. Deyes, what do you think, Deyes? I think that's a solid assessment. I give it four as well.

Wow. Four. Four forks, wow. Wow, four forks all around, how about that? I love it. Yeah. Mm, good for them. Well deserved welcome to the all around, how about that? I love it. Yeah. Good for them. Well deserved welcome to the Golden Play Club. Welcome to the Golden Play Club.

And remember this is after they screwed us out of a donut. That is true. I mean, to have that personal vendetta remain after such high acclaim, it's really shocking. We could kick it out of the Golden Play Club for that reason. Oh well, boy, that is, it's highly unorthodox. Doughboy's choice is that it's in the Golden Play Club for that reason. If you want to. Oh, well, boy, that is, it's highly unorthodox. Doughboy's choice is that it's in the Golden Play Club.

I think so. I think we're gonna take the high ground versus Randy. Yeah. Who's in the low ground from what we understand. I could not get closure on whether or not Randy was still alive as I was hastily Googling it. Wow. But it did transfer ownership in the 70s,

so I think probably on to our, you know, he's not still with us, but what a legacy. Hey, it's time for a segment. We got a beverage we're gonna decide if you should pour it down your throat. It's Drank or Stank, and hey, we haven't had enough sweet yet today. It's time for a sugary beverage, Mountain Dew Mango Rush.

Here's what's incredible. As we talk about the sort of the conflation of organizations and enormous businesses, to see the Little Caesars man on a Mountain Dew, I don't know how that makes me feel. I've got the tall boy can up here that I'm holding to lens. This is an exclusive Little Caesars flavor.

Why is... Refreshing Mountain Dew with a kick of mango. What are we doing? Let me read the copy here. One thing Mountain Dew and Little Caesars fans both share is a thirst for adventurous flavors. With Mountain Dew Mango Rush, our goal was to collaborate with Little Caesars

to create a new, refreshing beverage that pizza and dew enthusiasts will love. What? All right. What are they doing? I don't know. But here we are. Oh, my lord.

The idea that they're like, we need to bring in an expert. How about Little Caesar's? I do like the Little Caesar guy. I do too. I love the little guy. He's a fun little guy. He beat the Noid. He did beat the Noid.

He's got a good stick. He beat him mercilessly with a hammer. Wow, this is. Who knew the Noid's blood was green? This is potent. Wow, that is... This brings back. Yeah. This brings back. This puts me in a basement wags,

again, like the Hammer Brothers, this is like a summertime, it just feels like a summertime drink of me drinking the most sugary drink in my basement playing video games. Sugar is high in that. Sugar's high. This is super sweet. And one of these cans is the serving size of one can.

Yeah, one can has 57 grams of sugar, which is 114% of your daily. OK, so we're pretty good for the day. Yeah, sugar and day. I don't think we should have sugar tomorrow is what they're saying. Skip breakfast. I don't think we should have sugar tomorrow, is what they're saying. Skip breakfast. I don't know about this.

I mean, that's perfect. If you want to just get all your sugar done in a day, you just don't drink 14% of it. Well, that's where I believe Little Caesar came in. I mean, he really recognizes how nutrition should go. I mean, that guy, I've looked to that guy for a lot of diet stuff. Can I say the can design I love?

This is the thing about this I really like. Can I say the can design I love? This is the thing about this I really like. I like that the Little Caesars guy is on here and I like that it's a Little Caesars exclusive and I like that it's not like, cause they'll do these flavors at, you know, Taco Bell or Buffalo Wild Wings or what have you, but you don't have a unique can.

Yeah. And that's a lot of fun. I got news for you. Yeah. I think the drink is also good. It's hard for me. This is so foreign to some. I've not had a drink like this in a long time. It is delicious.

It's in the very artificial, delicious realm. But it is very good. It kind of reminds me of like a cactus cooler. Yeah. Like it's like kind of in that world. Now we're talking. Which I think is like an orange pineapple soda. If I left the hospital with bad news, and it was like, it's like kind of in that role. Now we're talking. Which I think is like an orange pineapple soda. If I left the hospital with bad news,

and it was like, it's terminal. It's over. I'd be like, I'll just drink these. Why not? I'll just crush these in the house all day. A few months later, you're cured. Oh, what? Wait, what?

Remission, remission. It's him, the little Caesar guy. The doctor sadly puts down his spatula in bun. What were you gonna do? Nothing, nothing, nothing. I think if Emma was here, a former bartender, she would suggest maybe spiking this bad boy. I feel like if you put a little booze in this,

it could maybe wake it up a little bit. I was just thinking me and a crew of college kids, let's go! Now, are you in college at the time? No, I'm still my age, but I am back there. I like that a lot. It's a back to school scenario. I like that a lot for you.

I'm there with my long lens camera, just snapping pictures. Who is that? You're in like that old combat bush thing they had on to catch a predator. That bush is taking pictures! Who's the boy? a fucking check and bar stool calm Trinket some read it FHM

The kids would have no idea what the fuck FHM is Too much internet HM used to be classy playboy You can read it on the bus. You could. I would get Maxim magazine when on flights. Even when I lived in Los Angeles, I would get a Maxim magazine like for a year or two

when I lived in LA. They had good articles. But they used to, that was the cover. Do you remember, like everyone would be that, but you remember when you go to the airport and they used to sell Playboy and like Penthouse? Yeah, they'd sell porno, yeah. And then you'd like be on the plane

and there would be a guy. Just with a Playboy. Like with Playboy and like Penthouse. Yeah, they'd sell porno, yeah. And then you'd like be on the plane and there would be a guy. Just with a Playboy. Like with Playboy and you'd be like, sir, what the fuck? Like, what are we doing? Yeah, which is strange because like I don't usually see people watching porno on the plane.

I did see a guy do it once. Oh, Jesus. I think people are doing it. I mean, that's the same guy, that's the equivalent now of that was a person looking at a Playboy on the plane. We cannot cross that line. We have to be very careful.

We can't be watching porn in public. If we watch porn in public, it is over as a society. The maxim was a nice in-between of like, you know, it's horny, but it's not new. You know, there's no news. 10 ways to yell four on a golf course. You know, and you're like, oh, I'm fucking awesome again. I'm not sure we have to wear glasses, but I'm going to hand this can over to the deas

if you want to open that up. Yeah, and then there'll be an article like, I spent like three weeks in Iraq during the Iraq. And you're like, holy shit, like this is like a, there's an actual writer in this oldest junk. Yeah, and then you'd be like, I can see her nipples through the wet shirt. What is this magazine?

Ha ha ha ha. Ah, boy, I feel like the thing is it's so- It's a drink for me, baby. It's so situational, cause it's so punishingly sweet, I could not drink a whole can of this myself, I don't think. But if on the context I'm like, hey, we're getting a little Caesar's,

we're gonna have some fun, and someone had some of this to share, I don't know, I might cut loose and have a little bit of Mountain Dew mango rest. I guess I'll probably say mild drink for me. It also is just like really, really sweet. It's very Dew mango rest. I guess I'll probably say mild drink for me. It also is just really, really sweet. It's very sweet.

Yeah. I'd go drink as well. I mean, it is like, what are we doing here? I know exactly how to plus this up. What is that? Your suggestion to spike it is perfect. I would put some seltzer water in here. Oh, that's fun.

And then spike it. And it's a home run. Because it's got a little bit of effervescence, but you could plus it up even further, really make it bubbly. Maybe a little topo to go. There's the alchemist. There's the alchemist coming up. You're really stealing Barry from Sandwich of History.

Because I close it up. I know exactly how to plus this up, yeah. It is carbonated, but also flat when you start drinking. Yeah. It's kind of strange. It's more juice-like. Yeah. It reminds me of those tall boy cans. Yeah, right.

Maybe it's something with a tall boy can, because you would open up a Bud Light tall boy can, it would sometimes feel flat. So I don't know if it's just something with the big can. The tall boy technology. The tariffs are killing the tall boy. I won't bring politics into this. Just like a restaurant about your feedback,

let's open up the feedback. And today we have an email from Jordan. Jordan writes, I was at my local grocery store today, leaving the self checkout when an employee walked up to a kiosk with a big cup of soup. Another employee working the self checkout asked her chicken noodle, to which the employee replied, no, I get three different soups and mix them all together.

I was already in my way out of the store and out of earshot. So unfortunately I was unable to hear what the combination was, but it got me thinking, which three soups would be acceptable to mix together? Love the show, Burger Brigade and Spoon Nation for life. How about that? Nice little, a bit of unity.

I love it. You should pick a side, but... Yeah, who do you want to win the hammer fight? Get off the fence. You gotta pick a winner with a hammer fight. This is the second 10 years. This is how, this is how we close it out. I hmm.

So so okay, I'm I don't know if there's an answer to this one for me, but we're gonna look hard, we're gonna approach this as a group. We're gonna figure this out. This is what I think. There's there's three of us we could put our heads together. I feel like we could crack three soups. I think the big thing is you don't want like is you don't want like a seafood chowder and like a turkey chili. Like those feel like those are pretty opposite.

That's like when you'd make the drink at the restaurant for your friend to drink for like $20. Yeah. No, I agree. In my head, I'm starting to think of some combos. I'm Googling soups, by the way, just to... Again? That's the third time. I feel like you could mix like a minestrone

and like a tomato could probably work a little bit. My mind immediately went to minestrone. And I think tomato is a great. So now you're getting just a little bit richer tomato flavor in this minestrone soup. I like this. How about a lentil or a black bean or something? Yeah, I think that works.

Now we're talking. The minestrone has beans. Okay, all right. It can work. All right. What about a vegetable soup? Could the minestrone go with a, I mean, I think that like, or,

Do it. Do we add some sort of chowder in it? Do we thicken this thing up? You are mad. What I worry about with the, I just feel like the chowder is so specific and so singular that once you start to put chowder in there, right, start to dominate.

Like, if we, you know, I don't know. It could work. But I'm just like, I feel like I'd feel better about a corn chowder versus like a clam chowder. Oh, of course. We're not just gonna throw clams in there. That's what I was worried about. Yeah, yeah, all right.

Look, guys, this isn't the hammer time. Calm it down. No, I think I could see something like a corn chowder working in there. It's a little thicker, but it could probably play. I think the tomato will compliment the minestrone. Or is it minestrone? Do we know?

I think it's stroney. I think it's strone. It's strone? Yeah, I've said it minestrone my whole life. Is it tomato or tomato? I don't really think the proper Italian is minestrone, but the Italian American is minestrone. There we go.

And that's what you are, you're an Italian American. It's appropriation. Do you say mangione or manjone? I say mangione. Okay, got it. You say free mangione. You say free mangione. So why don't we take a tomato and a mangione?

Mix them together. I have an answer. Okay. Minestrone soup is one of the answers. Okay. Tomato soup also is one of the answers. Okay. Last one, Wags, tortellini soup.

Ooh, wow. Now you're getting some fucking tortellini in there too. You're thinking on this? I feel like you're cheating by getting two Italian soups in there. Oh, fuck you, I'm cheating? I feel like you're cheating. They're two adjacent Italian soups. Yeah, you're forming a mob You're throwing an Italian wedding as well. I mean, what are we talking about? Sure. What is that's against the rules now? It's not necessarily against the rules

I just feel like you're saying like like oh, let's we'll get tomato soup and we'll get like a tomato bisque and we'll also Get like a cream of tomato. You means like these are all so adjacent. It's kind of like. All right, fuck you, I'm gonna change it. I don't know. Well. Tomato soup. Uh-huh. Tortellini soup. Okay.

Turkey chili. The chili is wild. The chili's interesting. Wild. I wonder if you do like a butternut squash or something too, or if that's too like, that's too specific. Butternut squash? I don't know, I'm just pitching you.

I don't hate it. I don't hate it. You mean gazpacho? Gazpacho? That's interesting, because that's food. So you're just going to warm up the soup? Soup's too hot. Time will be your gazpacho.

Give it time. Amelia, that's a good point. If you put three hot soups together, the hotness times three is going to be too much. They're going to be extra hot. That's a great point. That's what you blow on it for. You blow on it.

Yeah, that's true. But then also, if you have it. You don't need to add a cold soup. If you've got a gazpacho, then hell, you've got the perfect temp. If that's what you blow on it for. You blow on it. That's true. But then also, if you have a cold soup. If you got a gazpacho, then hell, you got the perfect temp. If it's too hot, one full. What if you over gazpacho? Then what are we doing? We're acting like we don't have access to electronics or appliances in this world.

Gazpacho is just one of the three. Yeah. So I think it cools down the perfect amount. You're over there eating the three hot soups, burning your mouth off. I'm waiting. I'm not rushing into anything, first of all. I'm patiently waiting the old fashioned way. You know what I'm remembering is California Pizza Kitchen,

CPK. I don't know if they still do it, but they used to do a thing where you get multiple soups in the same bowl, and they divide them. The two divide, or the split pea, it was the split pea and something else. And here's the thing. These two worked together, and it was a surprising combo.

It was tortilla and pea soup. That's wild. It does sound wild, but then you have them together, it's like, oh, this is kind of working. They know what they're doing over the CPC. This lady at the checkout was fucking, she was onto something here. So maybe the whole thing is maybe you just put three soups

together and it just ends up working out. Cause you know, ultimately it's all just flavorful. Can we think of bad soups that wouldn't work together? Oof. I mean, like maybe like a French onion. I think a clam chow, if you throw, the clam chowder can throw off most mixes. Yeah, if you do like a French onion. I think a clam chow, if you throw, the clam chowder can throw off most mixes. Yeah, if you do like a French onion

with a big layer of Gruyere and then threw a clam chowder in there, that would probably be repulsive. That'd be bad. Yeah. Yeah. I think we figured it out. Yeah.

I think we did figure it out. I think we figured it out. I agree. We got some good options there. If you have a question or comment about the World of Chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a

voice mail at 830-436-36844. What's that, Mitch? You know, I'm this guy who gets attacked because I said rank soups. Soup, pho, ramen. People got mad at me because they're all soups. Yeah. But interestingly enough, when we're combining soups, we're not talking about ramen. We're not talking about pho. So interesting. Interesting, I think you should look at yourself in the mirror a little bit. You too, the listener slash viewer. I wonder where, yeah, once you start slating pho

and ramen in there, because also you got different subtypes. Yeah, I could see those two mixing together. Yeah. Pho and ramen? Yeah. They would, they could. Yeah.

But also you type out- Throw a little chowder in there? Yeah, but you could have all sorts of- Let's get sick. You could have all sorts of- Let's get sick. You could have all sorts of bases for any of those and all sorts of little variations. I'm just saying my soup comment wasn't that crazy. That's the whole point.

You're being extra defensive because you went out on a limb with your breakfast burrito take and then everyone lashed out at you. And so now you're turtling up. I'm trying to be a forward thinking man. What do you want from me? Can I just say, Mitch, that's awesome. Yeah, God bless you. That is awesome.

I think there's not enough of that risk taking in the direction of just being supportive now and then. Thank you. And I think in retrospect, we did lose our cool on you. Yeah, we did. You did. And because we hated what you said. But we should have been more understanding.

To you, you were just trying to be supportive of other ways to have a breakfast wrapping. Thank you. And also, you're going to push me away, radicalize me. I join a turtle power group. No, without a... Mitch, no. Yeah, I know.

Next thing you know, you're a hero, not a ninja. Not a ninja. Our producers, Emma Erdbrink, our associate producers, Amelia Moreno, our supervising video producers, Casey Donahue, and our video editors, Mike Dorfman, Doughboyz Apparel and Merchandise, kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys, and doughboysdouble, patreon.com slash doughboys,

Gareth Reynolds. Next we have is the podcast. Out today. Tell us about the show and anything else you want to plug. Well, like I said, I mean, it's just a tremendous amount of quick-hitting little segments. There are reviews. We sometimes have guests.

My mother joins us. We play games. The great Kevin Bartelt is a part of it. It's just fun. I think it is one of those ones. I have the dollop, which people should listen to, which is American history. It can get very depressing. We try to bring light to it.

We're here to help with Jake Johnson, which is a call-in advice show, which is also a HeadGum production. And then this is just a little bit like that. If you want to see me do stand-up on the road, you can go to garethrentals.com. But yeah, follow me on all the bullshit. I'm going to say this, but I feel like it never feels like a compliment, but what a Potter, you're a Potter.

It's out of control. I tighten up podcasting, The Dala, you know, like all your shows are great, but The Dala, you know, obviously such a totemic podcast. I love the show, my wife is a huge fan of The Dala. Oh, nice. And it's great to finally have you on the show. No, I really, I honestly like, I've known about you guys and listened to your show finally have you on the show. No, I really, I honestly, like,

I've known about you guys and listened to your show for, you know, you've been around like us. Like, you truly, if we did a crossover, the Dole Up, imagine that. Oh my God. Holy shit. But no, truly, like, have wanted to be on your podcast forever, so it is a pleasure.

Well, we're happy to have you, and we'll have you back. And I'm telling you, the second 10 is where you guys, that's where the contention can carry you through. That's where you guys... Oh, man. The second 10 years, 10 more years. It's crazy. I mean, when you started this,

did any part of you think this would be going this long? No. No. No. No. No. No. No, you were like, what are we doing here? No. No. This is weird. I mean, listen to him say no. No, he's angry.

Absolutely no. Yeah, he's got a hammer in his soul when he says it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you. No, appreciate it very much. Congratulations on next we have. Everyone should check it out.

That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for this week, I'm Mike Mitchell. I'm Tiger White, you're happy eating. See ya. Hey, gorge, it's me, Got Mik. And me, Violet Tchotchke. And we want you to listen to our podcast, No Gorge, now on Headgum. Each episode we will be bringing you vlogs, answering burning questions, discussing what's

going on right now, and diving into all things fashion, hookups, gossip, and more. With past guests such as Heidi Klum and Deedavon Tease, No Gorge always keeps things hot. Listen to No Gorge on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Thursday. Bye, Gorge. That was a hate gum podcast.