Doughboys - Rockaroundtheclockdoughberfest: 7-Eleven 2 with Jason Woliner

Episode Date: October 22, 2020

Jason Woliner (Eagle Heart, The Last Man on Earth) joins the 'boys to talk ice cream, on-set eats, and 7-Eleven, the world's largest convenience store chain. Plus, the debut of Reel Meal.Sources for this week's intro:https://www.kshs.org/kansapedia/omar-knedlik/16909https://kansaspublicradio.org/kpr-news/remembering-omar-knedlick-kansas-man-who-invented-iceehttps://slate.com/human-interest/2005/09/the-slurpee-at-40.htmlhttps://www.britannica.com/topic/7-Elevenhttps://corp.7-eleven.com/corp/aboutAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, this is The Doughboys, reminding you that in most states you can vote early in person before election day. You can also vote by mail. Visit headcount.org slash head gum to get everything you need about voting early or by mail. That's headcount.org slash head gum. Omar Stanley Nedlich, one of countless little-known figures who, during the 20th century tidal wave of food system industrialization, forever changed the way we eat.

A Kansas farm boy and World War II veteran, Nedlich became a Dairy Queen franchisee in the 1950s, offering a unique attraction that separated his store from the pack. Partially frozen bottled sodas he marketed as the coldest drinks in town. Savvy sensing he was onto something big, within five years Nedlich had devised a mechanical contraption for producing slushy, carbonated drinks. And the icy was born. The icy quickly became a staple at movie theaters and burger stands, and among the many vendors who snatched up Nedlich's machines and droves was a Dallas convenience store chain founded

as Totem Stores in 1923 and rebranded in 1946 to reflect their original hours of service. The chain called their version of the icy, the Slurpee, and so Nedlich's invention would become their signature item, later joined by other ready-to-consume offerings like the Big Gulp, the Big Bite Hot Dog, and the Go-Go Takedo. With its global omnipresence, compact store size, and policy of never-closing absent disasters natural or man-made, this mini-mart with a maxi footprint has become the kingpin of its sector. Still, it's the Slurpee that's given the chain an identity beyond snacks, cigarettes,

booze, and porno, vital that those items may be, and for that we have Nedlich to thank. Oh, thank heaven, if you will. To quote Ron Wilson from Kansas Public Radio, quote, When the weather is hot outside, what is so refreshing is a flavorful, half-frozen drink. We commend Omar Nedlich for making a difference by creating this concoction, so cold that it is icy. End quote. This week on Doe Boys, we continue rock-around-the-clock Doberfest, our month-long tour of 24-hour chains, as we return to 7-Eleven.

Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Filler Mike, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Ah, Killer Mike. Filler Mike, like the rapper Killer Mike, but like Filler in a pie. That's courtesy of James Oxalis, Instagram, at J-A-M-O-X-A-L-E-S, roastspoonmanatgmail.com. I saw Killer Mike at a, I saw him at a restaurant in LA, I told you that, right? You mentioned this, yeah. Yeah, it was one of the cooler sightings ever.

What a celeb to see in person. Wait, is that the coolest celeb sighting you've ever had, IRL? I mean, I had my hand on Tom Cruise's back. You mentioned that? Do you mention the sweaty hand on Tom Cruise's back? At a night that our guest was actually at. Wow, how about that? I touched Tom Cruise's back for a long time, and that was a cool one. I saw Leo DiCaprio on the road one time, I saw him like in a car.

That's cool. I think the best road sighting in LA is Jay Leno in like an old-timey fire truck. Yeah, that's good. But any celeb on the road, we did one time, so I had a Spanish exchange student who stayed with us for a little bit in high school. Alejandro, shout out Alejandro, and he was a huge fan of Hollywood movies. His favorite film was Executive Decision, Loved Action Movies. And so we drove up to Hollywood just to sort of like look at Nakatomi Plaza, because from Die Hard, you can just see that building. It's just a building like near the Fox lot. And so we just saw the sights, and his mind was blown.

And then also we saw on the road Steve Martin driving a convertible. Wow. And he was like, his mind was blown. That's pretty good. I will say like for like a guy who like loved Hollywood and loved like that, like loved movies, like just like that experience completely delivered. And that was maybe one of the few times I felt like I didn't disappoint someone who was visiting me. You know what? One time I remember there was a guy from Quincy, and he was like, I want to see like someone famous before I go. And then I told him to go into this specific restaurant in LA.

And I was like, I bet you'll see John Hamm in there. And then Hamm was in there. That's amazing. We went in there and Hamm was in that. He's always in that one place. He's always in that one place. I will say to answer the question I posed to you, the coolest celeb sightings for me. Number one was the first like person from TV, whoever saw in person who was Faith Ford, aka Corky Sherwood from Murphy Brown, who was grand marshal of a parade in Long Beach.

And I was very, very excited to see Faith Ford. And then the other one was at E3, I saw Shigeru Miyamoto in the flesh on the show floor. That one's good. Blew my mind. Killer Mike was, he was having like a big family meal. I wish I had said something to him, but I didn't want to. I just never want to bother anyone. I took a piss in the urinal next to Mecca Okafor once.

That's fun. I had that same experience next to Alfonso Ribeiro. The actor who plays Carlton. Oh yeah. He's in the season. I butchered his name. How do you say his last name? Alfonso Ribeiro maybe?

Ribeiro. Yeah. That sounds better. I don't know if that's right either. Mecca Okafor was in the one urinal next. He was in the urinal next to me. Wow. How exciting.

Yeah. Probably looked down and thought a child was pissing next to him. Killer Mike, I want to tell Killer Mike that his style is bitching because he has a line in the song where he says, white boys say my style is bitching. And I think it would be cool to say that to him. He probably has heard that so many times. Do you think so? Just sweaty white nerds coming up to him.

Your style is bitching. His style is bitching. Hey, thanks. Appreciate it. I wondered if it was deep enough that he wouldn't. Maybe he wouldn't, but I guess not. Yeah, I don't know. You're right.

Anyways. How do you know? To Spoon Nation. Embarrassing with our guests. The guests who we both respect, we like a lot. Very much so. It's embarrassing to do that in front of them. But here's a little drop.

Here we go. I don't like fries. Wow. A little scary Wyger monster drop. I don't remember when I went into depth about the foes in the Castlevania franchise. There must have been a tangent at some point. You know, it's a spooky kind of rainy October day here, Wygs in Massachusetts.

Wow. So that fits the theme. I feel like you do one of these every episode. Hey Mitch, here's a very short drop inspired by Wyger's insane. Not that short. Wyger's insane listing of the ghoulies from Castlevania, from the Dullimpics episode with Sean O'Connor. Oh, there you go.

Also, I have a roast burger boy if you'd like to use it. Gabriel Gundacker's Evil Twin. Thanks Mitch. I'm a huge fan. PS, in spite of how obviously insane he is, Wyger seems like a great guy and is genuinely hilarious. Is this just from you? Kevin G.

A glorious KPG is his Twitter handle. Wygs, comparing you to anybody, comparing you to anyone is an insult, Wygs. Yeah, yeah, I guess so. I'll take that over. You'll take that over what? No, I'll take the, was it Evil Twin, would he say? Just read it again.

Gabriel Gundacker's Evil Twin. Wow. Kind of an insult to Gabriel Gundacker. Mitch, it's rock around the clock Doberfest or Ratkidaba. Ratkidaba. It's Ratkidaba. We're here in Ratkidaba. We are coming.

We are, this is one of those months where we have five weeks, five Thursdays rather, five weeks of Doe Boy's proper episodes. Bad news for us on a theme month. It sucks. Yeah. Always a little tricky. But we have an interesting chain to tackle to revisit. Yep.

We have a fantastic guest as you mentioned. Let me quickly just say, there was just an Irma mishap today. I'm upstairs and I see her like chewing on something. It was string and like a spaghetti noodle had gotten almost to her mouth. The needle was attached to it like a sewing string. You know what I mean? Like a sewing string. Oh my God.

So she had fucking, I don't know where she found it. My mom had no idea where she found it. She's eating this whole thing and the needle wasn't that far off. So I pulled it. I pulled the whole thing out of her fucking throat. It was soaking wet. She was fine. She had, she was none the wiser, but fucking...

Cats love string famously. Cats love string. You give them a ball of yarn, they'll be entertained for hours, but you don't want to have a needle anywhere near them. She's eating it. I don't even know where she found it. So crisis averted. Fucking terrifying though.

Yeah, that's scary. Yeah. Not the type of scares I want in this month. There's some good scares you can have, but... Right. Not that sort of scare. Too scary. Does, does, I do, do Wally and Irma qualify?

Fuck. I mean, it was, that was going to be the subtext of my question. No, I was going to ask, do Wally and Irma qualify as black cats? Hmm, they're tuxedo cats. So... Okay. They're black and white. They're, they, they, they, I don't think that they qualify for the full on Halloween

black cat, but they're close. They're very close. Right. But like a, like a witch or warlock could make do. Yes. With Wally or Irma, if no other option was available. I mean, especially Irma. You've seen Irma.

She's, she, Wally has a little bit more pronounced white on his face and Irma's, Irma's pretty, she's, she's, she's got some black and white, but she's, she's more, she's got more black. They're both, they're both beautiful. What was that voice? The both of them were beautiful, baby. Beautiful. What are you doing? I don't know.

It's a character. It's not really a character. It's just that I was saying it's silly. Oh, okay. All right. Introduce our guests for God's sakes. I thought you were doing a voice. It was kind of Trump-esque.

Oh, okay. But not really. I mean, it was, it was just meant to sound the way it did. Just move on for fuck's sake. Introduce the guest. I'm just going to say, I think you should develop this character. Beautiful. I think it'd be something for a real.

Just find, you know, like maybe he's in a flower garden or an art museum or something. Find a setting where he would want to say beautiful a bunch. All right. Fine. Maybe I will use it. And there you go. And you know what? Mitch.

The, the next guy, well, and now I don't think I could say this, but I'd say he would, he could direct me in the, he could direct me as this character. I think we'd make a good movie together. Wow. We, we can, we can find out if he'd be open to that collaboration. He's a writer and director. He's gone. He's left.

It's a cloud of smoke. So hole in his wall shaped like him. He's a writer and director from Eagle heart and the last man on earth, Jason Walliner is here. Hi, Jason. Hey guys. Thanks for having me. Sorry I left.

I'm trying to set some meetings to pitch the beautiful guy. Set some zooms. Jason, are you in LA right now? I am in LA. Yes. What, what is your, what is your COVID eat protocol been in these trying times? Just like in terms of what I've been eating. Yeah.

What have you been, what have you been dining on? What have you been snacking on? I agree with Jason that you asked that in an insane way. I just want to know his eat protocol. We've just been, me and my wife have been post mating a lot to try to just spend as much money as possible and feel a little better about not doing anything ever. And then just last week we decided to try to pump the brakes a little bit on daily post mates and caviar and cause it's crazy.

It's crazy. We added up everything that we've been spending per week and it's crazy on food delivery. Oh yeah. But yes, and now I'm trying to buy vegetables again. It's hard when you, like I eat out too much and I got fresh leaves recently which Nick, I told you which has been good, but I also, when I'll buy stuff and then I will like, I do want to just deliver each night and then all the food, a lot of the times I'll waste some food in the fridge.

It's hard. It's a hard balance. Right. I think I was getting addicted to ordering food just because it would make me feel better. But then, and I started getting ice cream like almost every night from, cause there's all these ice cream places like Janney's and Van Luens and Wanderlust. Have you been to that place? It's in Atwater.

I have not been to Wanderlust. It's really good. Then there's that Cool House and they have these two flavors that you can order on Postmates. One is like Banana Foster and the other was like a Churro dough. Oh man. And I ordered them and it said, the restaurant's preparing your order and I'd like pay the extra $3 to get it quicker because it was ice cream and so I thought it was better to get it quicker.

And then it was like an hour after the order was supposed to have left and it said they're still preparing it and so I was like, well, preparing it, it's ice cream. There's nothing really to do. And so I canceled it and then the next day I was like, I'm just going to go to this place and I looked at the address. It was on Western and I drove over to the Cool House and there was no Cool House there. It was like a ghost kitchen. Yeah.

I'd never been in one of these places in person but it was just a line of people and with like lockers that they would press the buttons and then get the food. I think with a lot of different restaurants making different or like kitchen simulated inside and so it was like a completely fake place. That's fucking crazy. I had the exact same experience and it was like a place, we got tricked by an Instagram ad where it was like one of those, it was like we were just showing up on our Instagram of like this really good looking Italian sandwiches and that's been an indulgence now that I've

been doing is like getting fucking big Italian sandwiches and we're like, this looks fucking great. Let's go to this place. I told you I had a good Italian sub. Jersey Mike's. Jersey Mike's. It has a pretty nice Italian sub. I got a Jersey Mike's Italian sub for lunch yesterday.

Wow. It's a fantastic sub. It's really good. You know what I do? As it comes with. Mike's way. Minor alterations. I get it.

I get it. Mike's way. I do do double meat, which I think is worth the $3 upcharge. And you can, I think if you're going to, if you're going to spend a little bit more money on a Jersey Mike's sandwich, get the regular size double meat versus going for the large with the regular amount of meat. I think it's just a better, it just, I think it just, it just comes together better and it's a better bang for your buck.

But it's a, that's a fantastic Italian sub. But, but back to my anecdote, same experience as Jason, like we, like we, we went to pick up the food and it was just like an unmarked door and you open it up and inside and it was just like a bunch of masked, like, like post-makes and Uber Eats drivers all waiting in a queue with like a fenced in basically evidence room where they were, where just like people were working inside there and dispensing, you know, like a bunch of different food stuff from a bunch of, from a bunch of different restaurants. It was like, it felt dystopian.

I was like, this is what our fucking app economy is. It's a horror movie. Yeah. It's, it's really, it was really upsetting. And it was like, we couldn't even enjoy our meal. The one I found it had a sign said, no masks. They were making all the drivers take their masks off and they entered. Wait, there was lockers?

To me, it sounded kind of like high school food and I saw, I thought that sounded kind of cool. It sounded like a big food high school. But yeah, this one, I was just a row of lockers and people online and yeah, I guess it was like a food high school. I just feel like I would, I feel like if I went to a food high school, I would have been, I kind of would have been top dog. You know, I want to see go to a food high school.

Who's that? Beautiful guy. Beautiful guy. Ooh, baby. Look at all this food. This is cool. Beautiful guy, beautiful, beautiful guy goes to food high school. Beautiful guy, definitely one of those guys complaining that you can't say beautiful to

a nice lady anymore. Right. Just guy goes around, says beautiful to everything. I don't get it. It's a compliment. It's a compliment. Beautiful guy. It's a piece of shit.

Beautiful guy. Beautiful guy is definitely some Italian asshole. That's what beautiful guy is. Hey, why do you have to go after the pizons? Why doesn't I make fun of Italians because one, they don't get mad and two, they deserve it more than anyone else, the Italians. Italians famously cool tempered, famously impossible to anger. I have another food related topic, Jason, for you, that I'm curious as someone who spends

a lot of time on sets, what is your on set eating protocol when you got like a 12 hour shoot date? What are you? He's asking what you eat on set for God's sake. What are you eating on set? It's a good question. It's not an exciting answer. I try to starve myself.

I used to get like these big, I used to eat on a good shoot. There'd be unlimited good food, but I realized if I would get like a big breakfast, I would get really sleepy, so I stopped going to breakfast. And then I think, and then when I would work on TV shows, there would be these giant craft service rooms that you could just eat whatever. And the last man on earth, they would get a lot of stuff from Trader Joe's, like a lot of sweets, and they would get those cookie butter cookies that are those little cookie sandwiches with the soft cookie butter in the middle.

And the craft service person saw that I like love them and would eat a whole box in a day. So she just started getting more and more. So I had to ban myself from going. I basically try to avoid eating while I'm on set. I thought you were going to say, so I had to fire her. She was fired immediately for getting too many of the same cookies. And I mean, we all know this, but the thing that people may not know is that on set, another thing for me, unless you actually have a trailer and like as an actor, you can't and actually

anyone on set, like you're not like spending a lot of time in your trailer unless like you're not in a scene as an actor and you're just sitting there for a long time. But eating earlier in the day can be bad because you have to use the bathroom and it's just a nightmare to use a bathroom on set anywhere. Whereas like the toilets are still, I feel like from when the studio was first built. And it's like, it sucks. It's a thing that I think about constantly if I'm on set is that I don't want to use the bathroom during the day.

Or you got a remote and you've got the honey wagon, which is the term for the portable toilets, which are nicer than a porta potty, but are still a portable toilet. It's like an airplane bathroom you're using. It's not ideal. It depends on the honey wagon that you get because some of them just have like the two and just like the two on the back of the, you know what I'm saying, like behind the makeup trailer or something. Yes.

Oh, that's awful. I hate that. You also don't feel like you have any privacy in there. I will say, did you guys know the etymology of honey wagon, why it's called that? No. No. It's because apparently the sludge, the human waste when it's draining out of there looks like honey.

Yeah. Nick, this is a firsthand experience from Nick. It tastes like honey. That's some shit eating freak. Come on. God, human waste all together looks like fucking honey. I guess when it's like kind of like a slurry mixed with chemicals being strained out through tubes, it like kind of looks like it kind of resembles honey.

Yeah. So like when they were draining out Marilyn Monroe's trailer, it was like a bunch of fucking honey sludge under her trailer. I mean, yeah, I don't know why you specified Marilyn Monroe, but yeah. Well, probably you did originate back in the golden age. Yeah. That makes sense. That's disgusting.

That's that. And they decided to name it that because of that. It's foul. Unless this is apocryphal. That's what I heard. And it's pretty disgusting. It doesn't look like honey. I wouldn't think so either, but I don't have first-hand experience draining one of those

things. Wait, have you seen them drain it, Mitch? I've never seen them drain it. So I mean, maybe it does look like honey, but I mean, I feel like honey is less brown. Well, you guys call your toilets honey bowls though, right? It is tricky though. It's like you, yeah, I get what you're saying of you don't want to have the restroom facilities. You're not quite sure what you may be dealing with, but I guess for me, the biggest challenge

is just like, because I am mostly, you both have jobs that are more important than a job that I have on set, which is usually just sitting there making sure that people say the lines and occasionally having like an alternate line for someone to say if someone asks me for it and they usually don't. So I'm just like spending a lot of time. And truthfully, once they have you on set for like half an hour, they're like, let's send this guy home. Can anyone punch down this joke?

So I'm idle a lot. And when you're idle, it's just like I look at my phone or I'm fucking eating. Like I'm just going to have something to do with my, and so I just like end up snacking more than I need to and eating a bunch of garbage and justifying it to myself of just like, well, you know, whatever. What else am I going to do? I got to, you know, or it's just one bag of fucking cheese it. Like what do I care?

I have heard that you go on set and you say, time to make some honey sludge. You yell that out to the rest of the actors on set. Jason, are you a guy who, do you get up, do you have something first thing in the morning as far as, are you a breakfast man? I've really tried to cut out all breakfast eating of my life and try to try not to eat until as late in the day as possible. And then my average day is I will like, I'll just wake up, I'll have some coffee, I'll start the day, I'll eat lunch around one or two, I'll try to eat like a healthy lunch.

I'll try to like avoid most dinner and then at like 11 or 12 at night, I'll go crazy and eat like just ice cream and order food. And after my family's got to sleep, I'll just eat a ton of food. Wow. Wow, that's, that's, I am, I, I, I, I'm bad with that too, where I eat too. Weigur knows this right now, but I'm trying to, I'm doing intermittent fasting. So I'm keeping the eight hours. Yes.

Of the day. Which eight? I go from one PM to nine PM just because my mom usually eats pretty late. So, so you, the thing is that after your last meal, you should stay up for three more hours and then you're not supposed to eat for 16 hours since the last one, but I'm usually done before eight. It's usually like one to, to, to eight PM usually, but I did nine just because that's just how it goes.

Like I, I feel like seven, seven PM to seven 30 was always the dinner time in my house, which I know is later than a lot of people. Yeah. I had friends in high school who would be like, we have, we have dinner at five PM. Yeah. And I was like crazy. That's so, so strange to me. That's very old, old person time.

Yeah. Yeah. We have, we have little kids. I have a two year old and a baby. So we eat with our kids at like five 36 and, and then I wait a few hours to go crazy. What are you, what are you going, what are you going crazy with when you go, when you're, when you're going crazy? Like, you know, just general postmates, whatever's open, Shake Shack or yeah.

I mean, generally ice cream, mostly ice cream, because I feel like there's some kind of a logic in my brain that even if a pint of ice cream is like a thousand calories, like ultimately if it, if it were to have melted, if I had waited for it to melt before eating it, it's just liquid. That can't make you that fat. It's just like having a drink. Right. I love ice cream.

I'm like, that's my favorite dessert. We've, Mitch and I are both creamsmen. No, I'm not a creamsman with that's not, don't call me a creamsman. We're creamsmen. No. But I'm curious, like, like I really, you know, I've talked about how much I like vanilla on the show. I feel like that's an underrated flavor.

Vanilla is a flavor. It's not plain. I do like mix-ins a lot. But what are your preferences for ice cream as someone who's a fan? I, I generally just pick flavors and go like all in. So last few years, I've been really into the cookie butter flavor from Trader Joe's, which comes in these gigantic packages that you can eat pretty fast. And then, but yeah, lately that, that bananas foster one from Cool House, which does have

kind of like a ribbon of, um, I guess caramel in it, which is pretty good, pretty good. And then there's an Ubi that plays wanderlust that has a few locations in LA has like an Ubi malt flavor. That's also pretty, pretty great. That sounds rad. Now I wasn't, didn't someone used to microwave Ben and Jerry's and drink them to gain weight? Wasn't that? Wasn't that?

Who did that? That was an actor who did that and someone who put on, someone who put on the weight for something. Someone who was gaining weight for a role, not someone who was trying to like put on muscle, but someone who's trying to put on body fat, right? Wait, why not eat it cold if you want to eat it? Yeah, I have no idea. You can get it quicker.

Yeah, I guess it was like to be quick. You had to like drink it like a drink, but that does sound pretty bad. You should just, you should have just eaten it. I also feel like that wouldn't melt well. Well, like I hear the same thing when people are like, like they liquefy like chicken breasts for protein and I'm just like, just fucking eat four chicken breasts. Like that sounds, why do you want to, what do you want to subject yourself to drinking like a slurry of chicken breasts?

You just put them in a blender. Like you purify it with water or something? That fucking, that's disgusting. It sounds gross, but people do it. Fucking muscle men do it. Hunks do it. This is the kind of shit that you have to do to have that kind of body. Shit.

Well, I guess I'm having a fucking blended up fucking chicken tomorrow morning, I guess. Chicken and Ben and Jerry's shit. I mean, you have to make other lifestyle changes. It's not a magic potion. Oh, well, never mind then. I thought that, yes, I thought that it was like some sort of puppy transformation where you drank fucking chopped up chicken and you turned to a hunk asshole. Well, I'm informing you that's not how it works.

Yeah, I know. You're welcome. Fuck you. The other thing I remember hearing was, I think it was Sylvester Stallone when he was, he had to put on some weight for Copland, a man who's famously, just has this amazing physique, but he would just eat, he literally was eating 30 pancakes a day. And I was like, that sounds, I think he never stopped, by the way. That sounds like, like, like, cause anytime I, it's like the whole thing of like,

if you have unlimited pancakes, you go to one of those places where they'll refill your pancakes. It's like, maybe you're getting through four pancakes, maybe six if you really want to get stuffed. And just the idea of eating 30 is so, it seems insurmountable to me. Why is it that hard for them? That's so strange to me that, yeah, 30 just seems insane. If I ate 30 pancakes, I'm just saying that, like, there could be X's over my eyes and I'd die. Like, I feel like, I feel like that's like a huge, that's too big. That's too big of a number.

Yeah, too many. Yeah, that seems apocryphal. Jason, you were mentioning, you were mentioning, you're a morning coffee guy. You have some coffee first thing in the morning. What do you, how do you take your coffee? Oh, just pretty standard milk and sugar. Lately, I've been getting the, we used to go out for coffee and like L.A. is just so, you can't, you know, it's like 15 bucks. So, they have those La Colombs in a can that I've been enjoying lately, the triple shot.

Because I used to when I was younger, would drink like 8 to 10 shots of caffeine in the mornings. Wow. And I think, yeah, it's probably why I stopped growing. But then I kind of, kind of stepped back from that. So I'll just have a few, a few every morning. 8 to 10 shots? And what, like in, all this espresso? Yeah, like, actually just before this, I had a, I don't know why, it's super hot here.

And I had one of those cappuccino blasts from, from Baskin Robbins. You ever had one of those? Yes. Oh yeah. Pretty good. They're also just like a milk bomb and make you pretty sleepy, I think. I never, I never knew that you so, you like so many, so many milk, you're so, you're very into ice cream and milk based things. Yeah, you know, I never thought of it like that.

But yeah, I suppose so. But pretty, I consume a lot of dairy, I guess. Yeah. Do you ever have any digestive troubles as a result? No, I've been very fortunate in that regard. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I, I, I, it hurts every time I, if I drink anything.

Like at Wags, I totally, I did a pizza tour in, in New Haven. And I was just, I was dying for a couple of days after that. I can't, I can't eat that much cheese or milk anymore. I do feel it. It's just like it weighs on you. Yeah. But you know. That's, I mean, that's a dream come, I wish, I wish it was like that for me.

I can't, if I drink a cup, if I drink milk, the milk will, milk will fuck me up. But I'm not a big coffee guy either. I can't believe that you can do that many shots. You never get any like jittery, you never get jittery or anything like that or? No, I never, ever get jittery. I never feel any effects from coffee. Wow. Fuck.

If I need to stay awake for something, if we're shooting long days or something, I'll have a Red Bull, a sugar-free Red Bull. And if I have probably two of those, that would make me jittery. But coffee, I think because I drank so much when I was young, it doesn't really have any, I don't feel any, ever any kind of buzz or anything. It just kind of gets me to a normal level. Wow. One cup of coffee can do it.

We, we recently did energy drinks versus coffee and I was like out of my mind, like felt insane. And wives, you have the same issue, don't you? Well, I drink coffee every morning. And for a long, for a while, I actually only recently cut out my afternoon cup of coffee because I would, I used to get that out. And then now in our current times, I would just brew another cup at home. But I, but the morning coffee just kind of stabilizes me and wakes me up. The afternoon coffee would sometimes make me jittery.

The thing I had to cut out entirely was any sort of cold brew. Because anytime I do cold brew, I feel like I'm having a break from reality. I just like, it's so, I get, I get so jittery and so light headed. I just from, I guess from that concentration of caffeine and you're just able to consume it so quickly. Who me or you? Or Jason? Are you talking to one of us? He's saying one.

You. One. One is able to. It was good. I liked what you were saying. He's just talking about the speed a human can drink at. Yes. An individual, a given person can drink cold brew very quickly.

In this case, I was talking about myself. Jason. It's you. All right. We, I got it now. Uh, Jason, are you, uh, now this goes, this folds in today's episode, but when you're buying, when you're grabbing these snacks, are you ever going to convenience stores or you can, do you, do you hit the, the fridge at convenience stores for some of these late

night snacks or, or, or coffee or anything like that? Or do you usually pass? I've been known to, yeah. I mean, Ben and Jerry's, they carry it, uh, 7-Eleven, which we'll be talking about today. Uh, but, um, yeah, I would, I mean, for, I get very compulsive about things. So for a while I was, I think kind of addicted to Reese's peanut butter cups and I couldn't drive past like a gas station or 7-Eleven without stopping and buying them. Um, and then I was able to kind of kick that, but, um, yeah, that's generally, those are

Oreos are kind of my go-to snacks, uh, at convenience stores. What kind of Oreos? Do you just like the regular ones? I like the regular ones. The double severed, uh, too much, too much for me. You ever mess around with those golden Oreos? No, I've never touched them. They, they seem repellent to me.

I think good. Oh, we lost. Golden Oreos are, are heaven. What do they taste, what do they taste like? It's, you know, they're just a little bit less chocolatey, uh, but still creamy and delicious. It's, it's more of a vanilla cookie. A little, a little less chocolatey. There's no, it doesn't taste chocolatey at all, right?

Okay, they're not chocolatey. Is there any chocolate? There's less than none. Zero is less than yes, the amount that's in an Oreo. Uh, it's a, but there, but I, I think I prefer golden Oreos to regular Oreos. When I think about it, a hamburger is like, it tastes a little less cheesy than a cheeseburger. And there's less chicken in it than a chicken sandwich. That's what you sounded like.

Why are you fool? These are true statements though. Oh, if you like Oreos, there's a good recipe for, there's, have you ever had Oreo butter? Actually, I don't think anyone's ever had. I, I stumbled upon it. I've heard of Oreo butter before. It's crazy to make it. You get an entire box of Oreos and you put the entire, not the box, but all the Oreos from the box in a, a food processor.

And then you put like a, a swig of coconut oil and then you just turn it on and you let it process for like 20 minutes. And it, it's a crazy long amount of time and you start to smell like burning metal. And when, when, when it, when it's done, it kind of congeals into, it takes like a honey like form, but you can basically spread it out. Honey sludge. It kind of becomes like a honey sludge, but dark and you can spread it on waffles and whatever. It's so delicious, but it's, it's both parts. You just pour the Oreos right in and you process them with a little bit of coconut oil to like whatever lubricate it. It is, I can't recommend it highly enough.

It's really good. Wow, that sounds fucking amazing. I'll put some, I put that on some corn on the cob. It's, yeah, you should. It's cause Oreos themselves are kind of like dry. Like I was thinking recently, I was like, I don't even know if they're good cookies except that like I eat one and then my, I don't know if I'm enjoying it or my only responses. Oh, I need more Oreos right now. Like I need to just keep eating them, but I don't know if that means that they're good or I like them.

I think that it's just like triggering something in my, in my head. There is something to it. We talked about this before, but, and I wonder where you stand on this, but like to me that one of the go-to shakes now, there's, you know, you got your chocolate and vanilla, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry. And then after that, it's Oreo shake, right, Wags? Would you say that that's, that's what it is? Um, I mean, yeah, I think as, as, as I, I don't know, it might nudge into my big, my top three. Like, you know, I also like, Jason was talking about that, that, that cappuccino one from earlier. I also really like a coffee shake and a banana shake is great too.

I think vanilla is probably my favorite and I think Oreo, Oreo's right there. It's, it's, it's up there. As far as shakes with mix-ins, I think that's the best one. There's a, uh, the peanut butter shake at Five Guys is really good. Oh yeah. And I started, uh, because Shake Shack used to have a peanut butter one. They got rid of it for the, um, the people with a peanut butter, with a peanut allergy. Yeah.

Which was, uh, nice of them. Um, but, uh, but I thought that was really good and they still do it. Um, I was in England and they have it at Shake Shack in, uh, in England still. Oh damn. Worth a trip. It's funny. Shake Shack really expanded. It's funny how, how, how Five Guys is at the complete opposite end of the spectrum

as far as respecting people with peanut allergies. They're just like, fuck you, we got peanuts on the floor. Just throwing peanuts at you. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you can't, you can't set foot in there without going into, like, shock basically if you have a peanut allergy. Yeah.

Which is a place you would think that a burger place you could, you should be fine, but not at, not at, not at, uh, not there, but the- They fry their fries in peanut oil. Oh, that's right. They do fry their fries in peanut oil. That's right. Um, Jason, you were, you're, you're a former New Yorker, right? You lived in New York and, and LA.

That's right. I grew up in New York. What, what, uh, what, as far as food goes, are you, uh, have you converted completely to LA or are you like, oh, I miss New York food constantly? I miss, uh, gyros. With, with growing up, we ate like Greek food heroes. Yeah, yeah. But I don't think they, they, I don't really think they're around in New York.

They used to be like a guy on every corner. It felt like, and then I think all those guys kind of, um, went away and, uh, replaced mostly with like halal chicken rice, which I think are probably better. And that's kind of when I go back to New York, that's what I'll binge on. They, I know they have halal guys out here, but it's not quite as good. And it doesn't really survive the Postmates experience is what I've found most of the time. Yeah. It's a funny thing cause you can get, you can get some better, like, uh, similar kind

of, uh, like chicken tarna, obviously there's, uh, Zanku and other places like that. But where have all the, where have all the Euro guys gone? Wags? What, what, what, what, where they got, they got snapped out of existence. Uh, and, and New York, uh, that shitty Marvel movie that I can't remember the name of. There was that company Kronos, which would have, uh, posters up in every, everywhere of like, they would look very like seventies or eighties and have like a girl lovingly looking at a Euro.

And, uh, yeah, that kind of all, all went extinct. Yup. That's like that movie you're talking about. I think I had one of those, those Kronos, uh, uh, posters on my wall in high school. I think it was above my bed if I remember correctly. That's cool. Well, let's get to 7-Eleven, uh, founded in 1927 in Dallas, Texas as totem stores, uh, rebranded as 7-Eleven at first to indicate it's hours, 7 a.m. to 11 p.m.

before they expanded to 24 hours. 7 is a number, 11 is written out for anyone who is tracking the brand, how to write it. And it is the largest convenience store chain in the world. Are there many, you know, we had our friend Fran Gillespie who's been on the show a number of times, is a huge 7-Eleven fan and also spent a lot of time in New York. Um, but it is, is 7-Eleven, is there much of a presence in New York City? I think they're pretty much everywhere. Yeah.

I don't remember going to them a ton, but, um, yeah, I think 7-Eleven's are, yeah, they're all over. Yeah. Yeah, they're in, they're in, they're in New York City. Oh, okay. Well, cause New Yorkers love the bodega. They talk about the bodega and then also the, I know that there's Dwayne Reed there, but that's more of a, that's not exactly, it's more of like a CVS than a 7-Eleven.

Right, right. Yeah, I think 7-Eleven's are probably there more now than when I lived there, uh, a decade ago, but, um, but yeah, there's, I certainly remember seeing them around. I, there was, there was a, you know, the 7-Eleven's close to my heart. There was one, we used to hang out in a bank parking lot because we're losers in many ways, but, uh, there was a 7-Eleven right next door. So for me, when I was young and, and, and, you know, if I got drunk or something as a kid, as a teenager, I'd like, uh, that doesn't sound much better.

It doesn't sound better, I guess. I'll go over to 7-Eleven and I would get a bakery stick, which I mentioned bakery sticks just recently and people didn't know what I was talking about, but they were both, they're like taquitos almost, but they were, they were more bread-y and there was like a pepperoni bakery stick. Uh, like it was almost like a pizza roll in many ways, but they had those and a few other things, but 7-Eleven was a real saver. I like 7-Eleven a lot, but during this month we went to AMPM and they really had like

pretty decent food comparatively. Um, and, and 7-Eleven's kind of been torn apart because of their, I mean, look, the food is, the food can be very, very, very bad. Uh, I will say that- I should just get that out in the open. That's, we all know this. Yeah, the food, it can be bad, but I don't, but I think they have some bright spots and I will say that I was more of a, of an AMPM partisan growing up, uh, just, uh, that,

that, that's what we would go to, but I was, I, you know, I, the thing I think 7-Eleven has always done, uh, that is, that I think there is no one else who compares with them is the, is the Slurpees and the Big Gulp. I feel like their Soda Fountain is unmatched and I feel like the big, the, the, the Slurpees are just like the best of the icy variants, especially that Coke Slurpee. That's, that to me is just like number one. Uh, but speaking of the ubiquity of 7-Eleven, uh, Shane wrote in and included this. Uh, I flashed back to my wife and I traveling in Southeast Asia.

In addition to being a reliable source of clean bottled water, 7-Eleven's there were our go-to for snacks and full meals. I remember looking out from a beautiful intricate Watt-Kalo. Boy, I don't know how you say that. Is it Watt-Chalo or Watt-Kalo? Uh, in the Nantha-Buri region of Bangkok, to see a 7-Eleven across the street, we often had rideshares drop us off at 7-Eleven's because they were easy landmarks. In fact, for the first week between amazing Thai meals,

my spouse subsisted on these tuna sandwich sliders they always had prepared. So it seems like everywhere in the world there are 7-Eleven's. Wait, who was, who was this? Who said this? Uh, a guy named Shane. Shane wrote it in. To who, you? Oh, he just wrote the podcast.

Oh, well you just said it really weird. You'd introduce it, you know, Shane said this. I don't know who Shane is. All right. A listener, Shane, wrote in. All right, I got it. To roastspoo-man at gmail.com. He also included the roast of Mitch, fallacious crumbs.

So there's that. You don't get a double roast in the episode. This is fucking bullshit. Well, you want to context. All right, anyways. But I thought that was interesting. It's just like, oh, it's all over everywhere. All right, I've never been out of North America,

but I guess if you leave that there's just 7-Eleven's everywhere, like there are McDonald's or Subways. Yeah, fucking. 7-Eleven essentially an event, it's kind of thing, because they are everywhere in, we went to Tokyo a couple of years ago, and there are convenience stores that are like 7-Eleven, but they actually, everyone who goes to Japan will tell you

like they have like great food. Like there's like incredible food at these places. But they're all kind of built like 7-Eleven, except the food is good. And I think there were also 7-Eleven's there. Colcobana was saying a similar thing, right? Wags that he would eat at 7-Eleven's. Oh yeah, that's right.

I think that they, well, funny enough, I should just go into this. I went to the nicest 7-Eleven I've ever seen in the United States. Wow. And it's right near my house, Wags. Well, I shouldn't say that, because I shouldn't say it's near my house for whatever reasons. Well, no other identifying details.

People aren't going to figure it out. I'm going to go into them. Okay. So there used to be this, it was this supermarket before called Curtis Farms. And that's like where a few of my buddies worked when we were like 14 or 15, 13, 14, 15. The first place I got arrested behind that

for the first time I ever got arrested, I got put in the cop car. The first time you've been arrested. How many times have you been arrested? Only three, but... That's a lot. Yeah, three. You've been arrested three times? Yeah.

What happened? I was probably 15 years old, and the cop came up to me and was like, well, I just got brought home this time. So, okay. So that's like detained, or they said you're under arrest or like you get cuffed and... They put me in the back of the squad car, yeah. So he's like, what's in your pocket?

And I was like, nothing. And he took his flashlight and he was like, hit the pocket. And it was like, dink, and it made a big dink sound. And he's like, what's in there? I was like, nothing. And he's like, open your pocket. And it was a beer. I believe it was a cider jack.

Oh boy. One of those old ciders. He said you're under arrest? Yeah, he was, you know what? He put me in the back of the cop car. And then as we were driving, I was like 14 or 15. And as we were driving back, I cried so much that he brought me to my house.

And he was like, I was going to bring you down to the station, but you cried so much that I brought you home. Good tip. Because I knew my mom was going to kill me. And we got home. And guess what? My parents weren't there. I thought that I was off the hook.

And then I went inside. I was like, oh, thank God my parents aren't here. He'd let me just come home. That motherfucker came back an hour and a half later when my parents were home. And he told them, fucking rat, ratting me out. Sucked. ACAB.

Yeah. Yeah, that's why. That's probably the worst thing a cop has ever done. So Curtis Farms held a place in my heart. And it became a Tedeschi's corner store. And from my one year I went to Thayer, Matt Tedeschi went there. He was a nice guy. A very nice guy, I remember.

But his family owned these kind of like 7-Eleven-esque New England chains or convenience stores. Chain of convenience stores. And then 7-Eleven bought Tedeschi's. And so, but this one on the corner, which is in this old Curtis Farms, it's like huge. There's a deli in there. But it's a 7-Eleven now.

And it is like the cleanest, nicest 7-Eleven. It has New England favorites. It's got Polar Seltzer. It's got Cape Cod Potato Ships. It's got Cape Cod Cafe Pizzas Wager. It's fucking awesome. And it just like feels super clean. It rules.

And they have Tedeschi's deli still operates in there. I asked you before we filmed, before we filmed, before we recorded this, we are also filming it. Yeah, this is a movie. This is gonna be a movie. I asked you if it counted, because Tedeschi's is now part of the 7-Eleven brand. You said yes.

So I could get some Tedeschi's deli stuff, which I did get. Yeah, why not? But I'm gonna say this. 7-Eleven can have really, really bad food. And I ate a few things that were fucking awful. But I ate some really, really tasty things on this trip, Wags. Well, let's get into it. It is rock around the clock doberfest.

So we were talking about the AM side and the PM side of each of these chains. And I will say that I did not go to the nicest 7-Eleven in the world. I went to a very standard 7-Eleven. And I'll talk about my AM side first. I got the 7-Eleven exclusive blend medium roast coffee. Now, I like my coffee black. I don't do any sort of modifications. I just take it as it comes.

And 7-Eleven coffee is generally very solid. In fact, I've never had a bad experience with 7-Eleven coffee until this visit. Wow. Unfortunately, this coffee was old, it was burned. No. And it was room temperature. It was an undrinkable cup of joe. Nick, I just don't believe you.

All three of these things were true. I wouldn't have believed it myself if I didn't experience it. This was a truly bad cup of coffee. And it's such a bummer because this place usually delivers. That's the thing you can count on. I can get a Gatorade and I can get a nice cup of black coffee. And it completely, completely underwhelmed. Very, very disappointing.

Like I said, from the food side, you know what? I'll pivot this way. I'll start with a bad food item, which was the Halloween donut, which was just a palette-swapped pink Homer donut. They started including these pink Homer donuts after, you know, when they converted some of them to quickie marts for the Simpsons movie and then they just stuck around. And so they have just like an orange version of it for how...

Homer's upset about that? Good point. Oh. This was, you know, I think the Homer donuts are fine, but this was, unfortunately, was just kind of stale. And it just wasn't a high-quality donut. But I did have one A.M. item that was dynamite. And that was the bacon breakfast taco.

This one, you take and reheat. It comes cold. I took it home. It's an egg, bacon, cheddar, and jack in a flour tortilla. The reheating instructions were incorrect for my microwave. No problem. I improvised. I figured out you got to do it for another 45 seconds.

This was... Wow. It was really good. I mean, it just had a great cheesy flavor. The only negative was the bacon was a little chewy instead of being crisp, but it was just so... It was like so flavorful. And I was like, if I had this first thing in the morning

with a decent cup of coffee, I'd be like ready to start my day. I thought it was delightful. I really liked it. You should pat yourself on the back some more for passing that test of microwaving the item correctly. A lot of people would have given up. They would have thrown out their hands. I persevered.

This fool test. Wow. The instructions are very complicated though. It says like heat on number two, four X amount of time. You don't have their proprietary microwave. It could be difficult to figure out. I think that their microwave actually does a really good job too. That microwave, if you put their products in there

and put the appropriate time, it heats it really well. I get it. It was. I pat you on the back as well. But they disabled... Thank you, Mitch. The microwave was not there. I think because of COVID, we can't have people

using a shared appliance in a public space. Is that why there's so many take-it-home things now? Because there was a full pizza to take home and take and bake pizza. Is that why they're doing it? I mean, that's probably something of an adjustment to our current times. But yeah, all that said, it was a delightful breakfast taco.

Jason, let's go to you. What did you get for the AM side at 7-Eleven? AM side. I was getting all my PM stuff. I wound up going to 4-7-Eleven. I got my PM stuff first. We'll talk about that later. It was pretty bad.

But I got the AM this morning. And I actually got the chorizo breakfast taco, which was good. It was $1.10. Just like you said, the flour tortilla was soft. The eggs were good. The meat was much better than the meat and the PM and the other stuff I got.

And then, yeah, the microwave instructions were, I asked him where the microwave was. He said it was in the back and then went back there. The microwave was there, but there was a sign on it that just said, please do not use because of COVID. But he told me to go back there. There was COVID trapped in that microwave? Yeah, he says that we found that this microwave

gives food COVID. Please don't use it. But I was there. It said number two for 30 seconds. I couldn't figure out how to use the microwave because there was no timer buttons. Each thing was like an amount. And the increments were like 18, 48 seconds.

I had to do math and figure out how long 30 seconds was. But I took it out and it was delicious. It was perfectly hot and I ate it on the walk home. I was driving around. I went to two today looking for these like sausage, egg, and cheese waffles that they're touting. I went to the one on Vermont and Franklin and it was empty last night and it was empty this morning.

So maybe they're not making them anymore. But yeah, the breakfast taco was good. That was kind of in reverse order, the happy ending to this story because all the other food I got there was pretty rough. Oh, no, man. But it was good. Today's was good.

It was great. Well, I started off at... I bought $50 of food in one swing at this 7-Eleven. Wow. I don't think... I had a basket. So like I said, this is a big 7-Eleven. There's gross harassing.

You can actually get a cart at this 7-Eleven if you want a cart. But I got a basket. That's incredible. Mm-hmm. Wait, this 7-Eleven still has like a full deli from when it was the other place. It has a full...

Okay. A Tedeschi's deli, but that is part of the 7-Eleven brand. And Weiger said it was okay. Is it... Is this the size of like a CVS? Like what's the... A Walgreens?

How much real estate we talking? You know what? I'll go back down there. I'll do a video of how big it is. You know, I could probably find it on... And I'll show you guys pictures. But I got... Wags, I started off for my morning side.

I also got the exclusive blend coffee. I got myself a small cup of that. And guess what? Mine was fantastic. It tasted hot. It was delicious. It was a great cup of coffee. I was surprised.

Also for morning, I got myself a... From Tedeschi's deli. So this is Tedeschi's deli. It is, but it's a part of 7-Eleven. I got a sausage, egg and cheese sandwich, and that was on an English muffin. This was like a little bit goopy, and it had sat out a little too long,

but it was still pretty tasty. There was a time on it, Wags, like when we went to AMPM. There was a time on it that said 5.30, but I was there about around 4. So about an hour and a half before it was supposed to be. But it felt a little like it was sitting out

for a little too long. But there was other fruit that was way, way, way worse in that regard, which I'll get to later. I also did a harvest blend, 7-Eleven brand harvest blend, which was red apples, green apples and grapes. And that was pretty tasty. It was that sort of thing that I bit into the green apple

and I was like, this doesn't taste like a green apple. And I don't know why it doesn't taste like a green apple. It should have that taste. It just tasted like kind of apple. And I don't know if that's because it's 7-Eleven or what the deal is, but that's how it was. I also got myself an apple fritter, Wags, from the case.

And the apple fritter, it was like a little soggy because it was, you know, it's been around for however many days. I think it travels. But it was still the taste of it was really good. And then I got blueberry donut holes. And those came in a cup like this. You can see there.

It came in like a cup of donut holes. And this is the first time where I started to notice 7-Eleven select. And so this is something that is made, is 7-Eleven select new or newer? It feels like a domino's admission of like, our products have been bad. And this is maybe like a higher quality because it said like better ingredients and stuff on it.

So I don't know what the deal is. A lot of grocery stores do this. A lot of the grocery stores have like a higher end brand of their store brand. I mean it's like Kroger has Kroger brand, but then they also have like private select. That's just like a little bit more upscale. And they also have like an organic slate.

So I don't think it's, I don't know when 7-Eleven started doing this, but it's not unusual. Well, those donut holes were really, really good. And this is, it's going to be a thing I come back to with this 7-Eleven select stuff. They were good. And I also got myself a chocolate chip muffin. Here it is.

A chocolate chip muffin. And this was fantastic. This was maybe my favorite thing of all the breakfast food. I ate this last. And I really, I really enjoyed it. That covers basically everything I did for breakfast. I got a couple of juices, but they don't really work in the breakfast department.

So that's it for breakfast stuff. Yeah, Mitch. I also got a juice and I decided that was for, it was going to be my PM beverage. I, you know, I, I was curious, like I was a second guest, the self-service soda fountain. The, the Slurpee machine, as you know, it's 7-Eleven can sometimes just be in, be in, you know,

in service or it's like, it's like currently like making Slurpees. So you can't use, so that was the, that precluded me getting a Slurpee on this particular visit. And the soda fountain, I was just like, I don't think, I think this is one of the less sanitary things that you can use the self-service soda fountain. So I went ahead, although maybe it's on the same level as the self-service coffee.

I don't fucking know. But I got a bottle juice out of an abundance of caution. I got the 7-Eleven brand Guava flavored juice cocktail. This is for my PM side now. We're in the PM side. 5% juice on the label. And I will say this was just way too syrupy. Like I just didn't, it wasn't like,

it wasn't refreshing like a juice should be. It was just like sort of like a flat soda. And not a lot of Guava flavor either. I've had some delightful Guava juice. I've had, you have like a nectar, a Guava nectar. Oh, how transcendent is that? And this was just under delivered on the Guava. That's it.

What the hell are you talking about? I've had some great Guava juice. I believe you. I've had some great Guava, you have like the kerns fruit nectar. Guava I'm thinking of. You remember that? It's so, it's just like, you can't even drink a full can.

It's just too delicious. It's too concentrated in flavor. I've had some great Guava juice. It's too good. It's what I'm saying. It's too good. It's too good that you can't finish it. Yeah, it's like too, it's got too dense.

It's got too much flavor to it. Okay. Well, you shouldn't have got it at 7-Eleven. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing, but I mean, that's the test. It's like trying to eat a truffle. I can eat a truffle. You can eat those. Yeah, you can eat the truffle.

You can eat a truffle. You eat like a whole white truffle. I think it'd be too rich. All right, fine. Wait, you don't just snack on truffles? I'm pretty good at finding truffles. We once, my wife and I were in Italy, went on a truffle hunting tour with this old lady

and she had a dog named Choco and we were just like going through the forest and it was like an hour or two we hadn't found any truffles and she had this vest with all these pockets on it and she was like, oh, Choco, I think maybe there's one over there and she like ran away with the dog and like kneeled down and she's like, oh, truffle.

And I was like, I think she's planting them. I think she was planting them in the ground because the dog hadn't found any because she had all these pockets on her vest. You're full of truffles. You can feel that Choco felt like he felt like he felt like real shit to you when she was doing that if she pulled it out of his pocket.

He seemed embarrassed. Covering his face with his paws. What else did you do for the... You were counting Guava as night. The other thing I got was the iced honey bun which was just way too much icing. You're counting this as night. You're counting this as night as well?

Yeah, I'm counting this as night. I think a honey bun for me is not an AM treat. That's a nighttime indulgence and there was just too much white stuff on this, just too much icing. The texture was nice though. Good sweetness to it. Well, the more after you brought it home.

All right. But the savory side delivered. The savory side I was pretty happy with. I got a simply chicken salad sandwich which was from their cold case. This was like an A-minus airport sandwich. Had good bread to it. The chicken salad was in good chunks.

I mean, I thought this was pretty dang good and considering what the bar is for food here, I was pretty happy with it. And then my favorite item of the entire bunch, the beef and bean chimichanga which came hot. It was from their hot case. I didn't have to read it on my own. Really, really flavorful filling.

Slightly crispy texture that was just delightful. Like exactly what you want for the chimichanga but not too greasy. I thought this was just great. This and the bacon breakfast taco were the big winners on the night and day side of things. Mitch, how about you? What did you get for the PM side?

Well, I started things off with one of your favorites. I got it in honor of you. I got myself a Coke Slurpee. A Coca-Cola Slurpee. The machine was running okay. It wasn't the best Slurpee I've ever had but it was still decent. I think it was probably like in the middle of making Slurpees.

You know what I mean? Like where you can still get like a decent one. Making Slurpees. That's kind of its internal monologue during that moment. The rich... It has the rich... It has Richster in her monologue? Yeah.

Making Slurpees. How come we never got to see Richmeister? How come we never got to see a Richmeister movie? You know, it would have been great. I'm sure Rob Schneider is asking the same question. Probably. Probably ask that every day, dude. Agent.

I think the question Rob Schneider is asking these days is when are we going to get the truth about Benghazi? When? When, Madam Speaker? The Coke Slurpee... The issue was that I went for a small, filled it up and then there were no Slurpee cap sizes. In fact, no caps lids for anything that was small in the store.

Oh man. So I had to like pour it in the soda fountain and then throw the cup away in the trash and I felt bad. But... And then I had to get like a large... I had to get a large... Look, this sounds like a fat guy excuse but I had to get the large Slurpee.

I had to. People, you don't believe me, Nick? No, I believe you. I had to get the large Slurpee. I told the lay at the checkout too. I told her everything. But I should start with the things that were bad because I got some things,

even though the Sevillam was great, it ran into the same thing that all of them run into which was I got a slice of pepperoni pizza that was sitting in the little stand. I got a chicken sandwich which is homestyle breaded, especially seasoned light breaded chicken on a brioche bun that had cheese on it

which I had no idea that I was going to have cheese on it. And then I also got a hot dog, a big bite. Wow. All three of those things were unedible. They were putrid basically. Damn. The pizza slice, I'll show you right now, that should be thrown away.

You see it? Yeah, Mitch is showing his phone screen to the camera. It looks mostly burnt. That's what I'm saying. The front of it, it just was congealed and sitting too long. And here's the hot dog. I don't know if you'll notice this,

but it was just that color. Can you see the color of it? Yeah, that is the wrong color. That's not the right color of a hot dog. It looks like something you'd find floating around in some honey sludge. It's very dark. And I asked the woman who helped me out,

she was very nice. I was like, would you get that? And she's like, oh, I don't eat this food. And I was like, no. I'm trying to say, is this safe to get? Should I get this? I was like, this looks too dark. It looks overcooked.

It looks like it's been out for too long. And then the same thing with that chicken sandwich. The chicken sandwich is maybe one of the two overcooked and just was a fucking mess. And along with that breakfast sandwich, the sausage, egg, and cheese, that one was only slightly less bad. But all of them were basically inedible.

And they got to get a system over there. They got to do the AMPM thing. They got to toss the hot dogs that are on rollers, the pizzas, the appetizer things that are just like when you come in there and you're like, this has been sitting for eight hours and it's just cooked to fucking hell. And it's not edible.

You got to throw them away. You got to throw that stuff away. So those were the bad things. Onto the good stuff. And I got quite a lot of food. I got myself, I'll save that for last. I got myself a taquito. I got the Monterey Jack chicken taquito.

And to prove that all the stuff, all the app stuff and the stuff on the grill, this was great. This was cooked really well. It was really fantastic. I liked it quite a bit. I also got a tuna salad wrap. And wigs.

This is almost my bite of the night. It was fucking fantastic. So Mitch is holding his phone screen up to the camera again. I can't really tell what we're looking at here. It's a tuna wrap. It's a cross section of the sandwich. What is the green stuff at the bottom? That was lettuce.

It was very basic. It was just lettuce, tuna and the wrap. And then I also got pickle bites, which is 7-Eleven Select. They were hot and spicy. They're basically just slices of pickles in a package. 15 calories per package. And those were really good. I got a taken bake sort of deal, except it was taken microwave.

It was a calzone, buffalo chicken style calzone. That was pretty good once you got to the meat. The outsides of it, when you microwaved it up, the edges of it were kind of hard and almost like it was cooked too long. Kind of shitty on the outside. But the meat was good. Once you got to the good stuff, it was pretty good. I got myself some sour cream and onion 7-Eleven brand chips.

I got white cheddar flavored popcorn, 7-Eleven Select. Both of them 7-Eleven Select. Both really good. Nick, they were both good. Wow. They were both, they were both, they were good. The yogurt pretzels, 7-Eleven brand yogurt pretzels, they were good. The 7-Eleven brand stuff was, the select stuff was knocking it out of the park.

I also got a half, half and half, half iced tea, half lemonade, 7-Eleven Select and a strawberry lemonade. These weren't bad. They were like, for me, I didn't think that they were too sweet wigs. They were actually like, were less sweet than I expected them to be because I thought they would be super, super sweet. They were, they were still sweet, but not crazy, but just not great. You know what I mean?

Like they weren't, the quality of them wasn't, wasn't great. And then I got myself a small meatball sub. And it was one of the best things I had. It would be bite of the night. Wow. If not for the thing I'm going to say coming up. Mitch again is holding his phone up to the camera. The screen.

It looks like, it looks like a really good meatball sub, honestly. So for, for, for night spoon wager, I, my, my bite of the day was that chocolate chip muffin. But for the night spoon, the bite of the night, and you know, that's what matters, was, would have been that meatball sub. If not for a strawberry ice cream sandwich cookie, 7-Eleven select brand. Wow. Strawberry ice cream sandwich cookie. And it was on sugar cookies and it was fantastic.

It was so good. I'm not lying. Like it was, it was really, really, really, really good. So this was essentially a chip which with strawberry ice cream between two sugar cookies. That's what you're describing. 100%. Yeah. That sounds, that sounds like heaven.

It was, oh thank heaven, 7-Eleven wags. It was, it was delicious. There you go. The wags just nodding along because it was such a good point I made. It was good. I liked it. But I would recommend that strawberry ice cream sandwich to everyone. It's great.

It sounds really good. I want one. I might go get one. Jason, how about you? Let's talk about what you got for the PM side of things. My PM, I got, my one select item I got, I did get a pint last night of a banana cream pie that was a 7-Select collaboration with Go Yum. Is that an ice cream brand?

I don't know what that is. I guess. It's fine. It was okay. It was good. I made the mistake of, I had been thinking of that Cool House Bananas Foster flavor and it's like a personal rule I have that I broke is don't. If you see a food that resembles something you like, you shouldn't buy it thinking it'll

be like the thing you like. I was like, oh, I like that other banana flavor. I should have just got the one I was thinking of because then I was just comparing it in my head to the one I liked more, but it was fine. I got a Pina Colada Slurpee last night, which I should have, I almost got the Coke one. I should have gotten that because I haven't had that and it does sound great the way you talk about it. Jason, the Pina Colada Slurpee growing up was one of my favorite Slurpees.

It still is a good one. You know what my problem was is a few days ago I had gotten a real Pina Colada with like booze and it was really good and heavy and I think I was again just comparing it to the better, realer version of it, but for a non-alcoholic Pina Colada, actually Pina Colada is one of the only, you can get, the alcohol in it is not what is the primary ingredient that makes it what it is. The rum or whatever just adds a little bit of kick, but it's still like a non-alcoholic Pina Colada flavor.

You're still able to enjoy all the coconut and whatever. It's still be really good. It was pretty good. It was pretty good. It was good. And I got, where I went wrong, was I got three taquitos from Hot Off the Grill Rollers that two of them were inedible, were like among the worst food that I've ever gotten at a place.

There was the Steak and Cheese one. I also think they didn't necessarily have to be this bad, but I think they had just been there forever. That the woman was surprised working there seemed confused when I tried to order them and like, maybe I ordered them wrong. Steak and Cheese one was really bad, just dry, just been out for, I mean, how can you, is there any way to know how long they'd been out? Because I know, yeah, like the taco that I had in the morning was labeled and it's

like, oh, that's going to expire on Thursday. That made me feel good and that tasted much fresher. These had been going for a while. Pizza one was pretty good. That was the only one I finished. It just tasted like a microwave pizza kind of, like it's the same ingredients. It was good. I guess it hadn't been out all day.

It's still like, all of them had the kind of vague like hospital vending machine food quality. The Buffalo chicken one was one of the worst things I've ever eaten, which I'm a huge Buffalo chicken fan. It's like my favorite sauce, it's Buffalo sauce. This tasted like gasoline and it was just really thick and dry. I wouldn't have even recognized it as Buffalo sauce if you didn't tell me that's what they were selling it as.

I had never eaten off those rollers before, so I was like, well, I don't often get this opportunity. So two out of the three were pretty bad and I looked up the Buffalo chicken one afterwards and one of the first things that comes up when you Google it is like one of those like listicles that's like, food you should never buy at a 7-Eleven. Oh my God. Oh, and then for dessert, I got one of their prepackaged little pecan pies. That was great.

That was exactly what it should be. It's perfect. Wow. It tasted like gasoline. It tasted really strange. Yeah, it had like a burning. It was not a Buffalo, you know, Buffalo, you know a Buffalo, so it has that like vinegary hot sauce.

Like this was not, it wasn't, it had turned. That's fun. I think, I don't know, maybe it's supposed to taste like that. I had some pineapple when I got home to try to get the vibe out and then I just didn't feel good for a few hours. Why is that a snack that would maybe be good for lightning McQueen, if anyone? We'll take a break. We'll be back with our fork scores here on Dough Boys.

Welcome back to Dough Boys. She told me I was lying to them. We're here with Jason Walliner for Rock Around the Clock Doughborfest as we revisit 7-Eleven. I just lied to Jason's face about how much, he wasn't asking for how much time was left to be clear, but I said, we got about a half an hour, we got 20 minutes left and then Weigur said half an hour, which made me just look like a fucking big time liar. It looks like I was curious about how much time we had left. No, we do that to every, we do that to every guest at this point to like say sorry.

We basically say sorry, there's only this much time left and you know, and you, and you, you didn't, you didn't seem like you wanted to go, but then sometimes some people are like, okay, good, like they're ready to leave. Yeah, we get a text, their publicist texts Emma during the show that they have to go and then we quickly make an excuse for them. I will say that, I will say that like, it's, here's what I'll say, Mitch. You are a man who sometimes does not quite estimate how long things take and I think that is partly maybe why you are not always a punctual man.

Fuck you. Well, no, that's an insult. I'm going to be at your house in 10 minutes. I'm going to insult you. I'm saying like that. Fucking kick your ass. Yes, no, I don't, I don't get it sometimes. You're right.

I sometimes I underestimate or overestimate. But maybe we'll be out of here in 20 minutes. Who knows? We'll see. We're going to find out. So right now we're going to find out what our fork scores are for 711. So Jason, here's how this will work. We'll each go around, we'll give a closing argument, if you will, for this chain and

end by giving it a score from zero to five forks. And then additionally, we will decide whether the AM side has one or the PM side has one by either making the sound of a rooster or the sound of a wolf. The two, the both, the best representatives for morning and night. Yes. There's no complaints there. Although on the, in the art isn't, isn't art, isn't it like rooster and owl? Yeah, well, Van Arstel and fucking fucked up.

Van Arstel and fucked up. What do you want me to say? I'll say that you can, for a Doughboy's themed art, I think it is, it is a rooster and owl. So if you would prefer to make a, an owl sound, like a who instead of a wolf howl, you have that option. No, that's bullshit. Guest choice. Let him make an owl sound if he wants.

All right, fine. Jason, your final thoughts on 711, your fork score and whether AM or PM1, we will begin with you. You know, I never, I, I do like 711. I've probably been shitting on them too much. I do go to 711 a lot, but it's mostly for candy and red bulls and, and just kind of non 711 items. Um, I, you know, I, I didn't love the taquitos, but I did really enjoy that chorizo breakfast

taco and for $1, it's certainly a good deal. So I think I'll go, oh God, you know what though, I'm going to go two forks, I think because of how bad those, those taquitos where you shouldn't be selling those to human beings. They're like so much worse than anything you could get at any other fast food restaurant. And also, I mean, you had a good one. I had one that was okay and two that were among the worst things I've, I've, I've eaten in my adult life, uh, to the point that like there's, if there were no other fast food

places, if this were the only place on earth you could get food fast, I would think differently, but because there are other options, you can get like a McDonald's dollar menu blows away their, their PM options as far as I'm concerned. But this was my personal experience. I didn't try that meatball sub. I didn't get to this other stuff. I just went all in on taquitos. So my personal experience, I would have to say, uh, two, but yeah, and I say AM, uh,

beats them for, for me. And uh, you, you, you just have to do a rooster's crow. Oh, yeah. You have to make a rooster's crow. That's that. Oh yeah. That was, that was perfect. Yeah.

Yeah. We liked it. Wow. All right. Night spoon. What do you think? Well, I'm a little nervous wags because, uh, Jason just at AM, the, the morning won the day.

Uh, and so, uh, I feel like, uh, Jason, at the end of the episode, we, we, we play, uh, the theme song of Nick if morning wins and then the theme song of me if the night wins. And I don't think this is all your weird competitive side and merging where you have somehow ascribed AM to me and PM to you and made this into some sort of battle where whatever side of it wins, but it doesn't mean it's not you and I trying to win. We're not trying to like advocate. I'm not trying to make sure that the AM wins. We're just trying to be objective here.

Whatever is wins, wins. It doesn't mean that I want the episode. Night always. Yeah. So you always root for night. I'm always rooting for night. Look, life is competition, man. All right, weigur and with me and you, this is as good as my beautiful guy character.

Um, uh, I just don't think that night's going to win anything now. I look, I'll start with that. Then I'm going to say, is that an owl and also hoot, hoot, hoot. Uh, there's my wolf for night wins night wins this one for me, but that being said, the worst things I had were during the night. It was the nighttime was the worst stuff. I also had some mini sprinkle sugar cookies, which were these kind of like, uh, vanilla cookies with the, the, the, the, just like the different color sprinkles on them.

Uh, they were, they were good and these weren't even 7 11 select. These were just 7 11 straight up trash. Uh, 7 11 trash. Those are the two brands 7 11 trash and 7 11 select. Uh, don't go with the trash brands cause honestly though, the 7 11 select stuff was good. I think I went to the best 7 11 in the world and I still had three or four things that were basically inedible.

Um, but that ice cream sandwich, which is packaged 7 11 select, that's the area they should start moving towards is if you have a deli in 7 11 and you had these select items and the food was good and the stores were clean. Uh, you, you, you'd be doing gangbusters, Nick. You know what I mean? People would stop in there for lunch and eat there. Do they have to do that? I don't know.

7 11 is really good at what they do, which is what Jason was saying is that you can go in there and get snacks and get Gatorades and get whatever you need to get. And then also they got slurpees, which are fun. And on top of that, if you need, sometimes you need to get a hot dog or you need to get a big bite or the same difference or you need to get a to keto or whatever. It's the place to grab something like that. If you're kind of desperate, the one I went to the best 7 11 on the world, which

is on a, it's on Adams street, um, near my house in Quincy. By the way, what a great gift. What, what a, what a wonderful coincidence that the best 7 11 the world just happens to be in your hometown of Quincy, Massachusetts. It is a gift. And on Adams street, which is the same street that the Adams mansion is on. If you keep going down where, where John, where John Adams and John Quincy Adams lived and Pugsley and Wednesday.

No, it's not the, that's a different Adams family. Morticia, but to think back in the day, of course thing. You can't forget and a lurch. John Adams was, doesn't it might stop by John Adams. Maybe took his, uh, my TV just went on. That's creepy. Um, John, John Adams, uh, maybe took his horse and carriage down to that, the yield 7 11 and got himself something down there.

Wags don't just nod and help me out here. I'm sure that happened. What, what's slurpy flavor? And then he got home and knocked on the door and his butler answered and went, you rang. Adam's street is named for the Adams mansion, uh, same street. This, so the best, the best seven 11 in the world is on that same street and it is, it's fantastic.

I would recommend the tuner app. I'd recommend the meatball sub the TDs, deli. When you acquired that place, seven 11 make use of it. You have good fresh sandwiches that are made in there. People will do it. And also new rule with seven 11. You gotta have times where you just throw things away. The pizza, the little apps.

I mean, like, I get that the, the, the half of it is convenience and it's also food waste, but give away some of that food to people who need it or something, do something where it's that sort of thing of make that food fresher and cause right now it just is a waste of food anyways. It's just inedible shit that no one wants to eat. So fix your system, whatever it is, whatever your system is, take those hot dogs off the grill at some point, get rid of those pizzas, give them to people in need.

There's always people in need around seven 11, give them away and have fresher stuff. But besides that, seven 11 select stuff was really, really good. Uh, like I said, night wins for this seven 11. I will put it in the golden play club. This one specifically, but seven 11, seven 11 alone, you know, I'm going to give it three forks. Wow.

I mean, like the food though also shouldn't I get, I mean, this one, I have to give this one. I have to give this, this time three. I have to give it three forks. Yeah, I think that probably my assessment of this trip to seven 11 will be lower than what my normal seven 11 score would be. I think similar to you, I had kind of a down seven 11 experience and the coffee was the biggest black mark.

I mean, that was just, it was indefensible. I was so, I was so upset by that. To your point about old product, Mitch, I think a bit, an issue with seven 11 is, is an issue with subway where they are franchises where they are, they have really overexpanded and the franchise owners are operating with razor thin margins and so they have to keep cost at a minimum. And so that's why you end up with so many bad subways and so many

bad seven 11s where, you know, the, the people who, who've opened them are barely squeaking by just trying to, you know, grind it out. And, uh, and, and so it, I think that all comes from the top just kind of like fucking trickling down and, and, and, and the, the, the customer is who suffers in the end. Um, so it's, it's a bummer and I, I, I will say. I made some conscious decisions at the seven 11 visit to stay away from things that I knew did well.

Like if the Slurpee machine had been operable, I was not going to get a Coke Slurpee even though I love Coke Slurpees. And I know they're a fucking home run because I was just like, I'm going to get something different. That's why I ultimately ended up with a Guava flavor juice cocktail. Okay. And similarly, like they had a pizza. They had a fucking, they had a whole pizza that I could tell had

just been made, like not a single slice had been given out from it. It was just, it was like piping hot. It was like just out of their pizza oven. And their pizza, I think is pretty decent. And I was like, if I get a slice of that pizza, it's going to be fucking great. And I just, I just was like, I don't need to have this because I know what this is going to be.

Uh, so seven 11 definitely has some things that they do well. Why are you going to slice the fucking pizza before I've had their fresh pizza before and I'm like, I know what this is. I know this is going to be good. It's like, it's like, I don't, it's like, I go to McDonald's and like, Hey, they have a fresh batch of fries. I'm going to order these fries and then give my objective. I was like, I know these are going to be good.

I don't need to try this for the purposes of this exercise. I'm giving four forks to the, to the Quincy seven 11. So I branched out a little. I got some things I wouldn't normally get and I do think they had some, some hits and some, some misses, but I think overall this lands at a normal seven 11 experience from you three forks. I would put this at maybe two and a half forks, two forks, two times.

Wow. But as for whether AM or PM wins, yeah, I mean, it comes down to the savory side because I think the sweet treats were, were under, underwhelming on, on both, uh, you know, uh, on both sides of the day, but the savory sides, I think give the edge to a whoot, whoot, whoot. Wow. Wow.

He am rain supreme at the seven 11 visit. Mike's theme song is going to play wise. Mitch, congrats. You win your theme song. I guess we're saying it's yours is going to play. Wow. There you go. Think win for Mitch.

Jason is right that I could just listen to it, but now the world, now the, now the, now the world's can hear it. The world gets to hear it. Wow. It is very cool. Our buddy Mike Cassidy put those themes together. So check that out at the end of the episode. And hey, that'll do it for our review of seven 11 for rock

around the clock, dober, Tet. That'll do it for our review. Seven 11 for rock around the test dober fest. Oh, all right. Fest. No, I misspoke. I misspoke and I was going to retake it, but now we got to keep it in failed the test.

I failed the test. All right. Mitch won. I failed the test. Again, it's time for a new segment. Rat kid, it's time for a new segment. We're going to come with a fast food tie-in meal for a new movie. It's real meal, real spelled R E E L.

And this week we're going to come up with a fast food tie-in for the reigning box office champ, the war with grandpa starring Robert De Niro and Uma Thurman. Which raked in a staggering 3.6, 3.6 million dollars this past weekend, putting it at the top of the charts. Knocking off tenant, right? Knocking off tenant. Wow.

Here's the IMDB synopsis of the war with grandpa. Peter is thrilled that grandpa is coming to live with his family. That is until grandpa moves into Peter's room, forcing him upstairs into the creepy attic. And although he loves his grandpa, he wants his room back. So he has no choice but to declare war. With the help of his friends, Peter devises outrageous plans to make grandpa surrender the room.

But grandpa is tougher than he looks, rather than give in. Grandpa plans to get even. How about that? Anyone, have either of you seen the war with grandpa? Are we, are we promoting the war with grandpa? This is not branded content for the war with grandpa. The dope boys can't be bought. Um, I haven't, I haven't seen the movie.

I would, I don't feel like I'm going to see the movie. Is he the same grandpa as the bad grandpa? They might be related. No, the dirty grandpa. He's the dirty grandpa. He's the dirty grandpa. Yeah. Yeah.

Knoxville is bad. De Niro is dirty. But this is a different character. This is, my understanding is this is a different grandpa than either the bad or dirty grandpa. Although what a mind fuck it would be if it was the bad grandpa. They recast Knoxville as De Niro. Well, we're going to make a meal based on this bullshit.

Yeah, we're going to come up with three items that would comprise a fast food tie-in meal. Like how Denny's has the hobbit meal. Okay. They'll have radigas, red velvet pancakes. So, that's sort of thing. I'm going to throw this out there. It's about a bedroom.

So, maybe a breakfast in bed or maybe a dinner in bed. No one likes this. There you go. How do you feel? How do you see that manifesting itself at a fast food restaurant? Oh, yeah, that's hard. They like a little bed made of paper. Yeah.

That's fun. That's fun. That could be fun. Like a happy meal sort of thing. Like the way that, yeah, the IHOP gives you those like plastic layers, but it's shaped like a bed. Yeah. What's wrong with that, wise?

I like it. All right, I have another pitch. I have another pitch. Wrinkle cut fries. Oh. Instead of crinkle cut fries, wrinkle cut fries. Grandpa's are famously wrinkly. And so, maybe they could be, here's something.

Have you ever had wrink, have you ever had crinkle cut fries? They're not really called wrinkle cut fries. Have you had crinkle cut fries that are like Cajun style that have like spice on them, like spicy wrinkle, uh, crinkle cut? Yeah, I've definitely had that. Oh, well then fuck. I thought it was something cool. No, but you could still do that.

All right, fine. You can't do it. Spicy wrink, spicy wrinkle cut fries. So they're crinkle cut fries. Wrinkle cut fries are crinkle cut, but they're a little spicy. They're like Cajun spice on them. How about wrinkly war fries or wrinkly, like angry wrinkly fries, like an angry grandpa.

Yeah, all right. Yeah, angry wrinkly fries. There you go. This is a side. So we got the side wrinkle cut fries. Now for our main. Yeah, I said wrinkle cut fries. I know that's what I'm saying.

So we were saying wrinkly and then I corrected myself to say wrinkle cut, which was your pitch from earlier. All right, wrinkle cut fries are in. This segment is eating shit. Fucking debacle. Jason is thinking on his bad idea. I can't put it together. I'm trying to.

Is there anything that you can't say no to? I'm trying to form something off of just Robert De Niro's inability to say no. But I can't make it a food like a burger that also has a chicken patty on it and a fillet of fish on it. That's it a burger with everything like right a burger patty chicken fillet of fish cheese. It's called the yes burger and it's when you can't turn anything down. Because you have dead so who knows you bought too many castles.

Yeah. Wow. The first and only real. Angry wrinkle cut fries. Jason arrives in a bed, a cardboard bed. Jason, how does it feel to be the one and only person who will ever do real meals on the Doughboy show? It feels good.

It feels good. Great. It's an honor. The original concept of this was to each we're each picking a movie. How interminable would that be? Wait, is there three movies repeating this process? Is there some twist of like like everyone who goes to went to see this movie presumably caught COVID because they're in a movie theater.

Oh, yeah. Is there some kind of a food twist on that? That's that's kind of like it's all heated up. Your whole meal is heated up in that COVID microwave from the back of the 7-Eleven. Right. All right. So, Wager, Jason volunteered the can't say no burger, which if we try to make that good, it's a cheeseburger and then also a chicken set.

So a lot of people like the Mcgang bang at at. So is this a fancier version of like a Mcgang bang, which is what the stupid name that they have for the McDonald's version of this? If you're trying to make it good, I think you just like go over the top and it's just like you throw pastrami on there, bacon, chili, you know, two kinds of cheese, it's just becomes like a very just over the top concept. I think that's the way to do it. Well, if you got a cheeseburger with pastrami, bacon, cheese, chili right now,

that doesn't sound too bad to me. It says, are we going to saying is like, are we adding a filet of fish in there to, I mean, it is the can't say no burger. So what do we add? Do we add a chicken patty? Do we add the filet of fish? Do we have both? Yeah, you have to have everything in there.

Yeah, I think I think everything's in there. All right. Cheeseburger, a cheeseburger sauce, a cheeseburger patty, a chicken patty and a filet of fish patty and then pastrami bacon and chili and then a bunch of different condiments. Yeah. And an entire grilled cheese sandwich. Yes.

If you've gone to see the war with grandpa, this is presumably your last meal before you're put on a ventilator because you're in a movie theater during a pandemic. So you want to just get a greatest hits of all food to remember it. All right. So you're covering all your bases in food. Every, every, every, every, almost every animal from the animal kingdom is in this sandwich.

And why are, why are, so I got the side. Jason got the, the meal. You got to cover a drink and or and or a dessert. Ah, yes. Well, let's see. I thought we were done. We're going to keep going. You thought that was it?

Yeah. We had the fucking bites coming in the, first of all, it's, it's your segment. First of all. Oh, hold on. Let's hold on a second here. This was a segment. We all decided on in the, in the chat. Oh, we all decided on put this all on me.

Did drop King come up? Yeah. We talked about this in the chat. Did drop King come up with this? Yes. Dropper per singer, the drop King pitched this segment and we all talked about it and we settled on. We're going to try it today.

It didn't work out. That happens. Not only is this the last segment for the last time that real meal ever plays, but this is the last segment idea drop King ever gets to come up with. It's over. Why look jingle all the way spelled W E I G H is a homerun reliably. We hadn't tried that for the first time. We wouldn't know it was going to work or not.

All right. So I got wrinkly cut fries. Jason has the can't say no burger. You have to come up with some. You have to come up with a drink and if I had to have a drink based on the world with grandpa, I would have room temperature water. I guess is what I would pitch. Hmm.

You know what I'm going to say? How about a how about a call back to Robert De Niro's more esteemed career when he was making art films and winning Oscars? How about a raging Red Bull? Wow. That's good. What? So with a little bit of kick to it.

So it's got like a it's got like an habanero in there. Oh, that sucks. Well, I thought I thought it'd be like more like I thought it would be more like a soda or something like a like a like a you know, like a habanero Red Bull sounds bad. You just got to get through it. All right. Well, it doesn't be habanero.

Yeah. Let's call it call it like a Fresno chili, something a little milder. What if we all see grandpa and we really like war with grandpa? I bet you I'd love it. Maybe it's good. All right. A dessert. Wags.

Can you think of a dessert? I gave you the drink. Yeah. Yeah. Come up with a dessert now too. All right. Here we're going back to harkening back to De Niro's more esteemed career once again mean sheets cake.

All right. I like it. I like it. That's that's maybe the only part of the meal. I'd read the wrinkly cut fries and the mean sheet cake is kind of what I would want to eat. Well, there you go. What are you going to do with this?

That was real meals. Dear God. You know what? That was a real meal spelled R E L. If you guys want to make that meal at home and take pictures, send it to us at Doughboy's podcast on Twitter. And be sure to use the hashtag real meal R E E L M E A L on social media. Just like a restaurant value your feedback.

Let's open up the feedback today. We have an email from drew drew writes a couple years ago. Some friends and I went to a ramen shop in Palo Alto. They have a window so you can watch people prepare the noodles while you wait. It was so satisfying to watch them be stretched out and cut. I also like to sit at the sushi bar to watch the prep work. What are the dough boys and guests favorite foods to watch being prepped

and slash cooked go Lakers tying up the chat. Celtics championship record. Sorry, Mitch. Well, fuck you do. Food to watch being prepared. You know what? I love someone tossing a pizza pie. Yeah.

Man, that is bad. That is so entertaining. That's a good one. You get that pizza dough whirling in the air and then they catch it and they they they they fucking roll it with that rolling pin. Oh man, that is great. That's just a real show. I like seeing it go in the oven.

Yeah, that's fun. I like get Carl on in there. Watch it cook. Have you ever had the thought because I'll sometimes go to like we there was this back when people would go to restaurants. We used to go to this pizza place. We'd sit at the counter and they had like a giant like one of those wood-fired ovens that you could see in the kitchen.

And I just would always think like what if I just fucking baseball slid into that oven like what that would be like how I would just it would just be such a good way to be cool for all of us and then for you it. As you're like trying to like paw your way out of there and burning like your palms. Oh Jesus, there's like no way to survive. That would be instant death, right? Like you slide into an 800 degree oven.

You're just going to be fucking Emily moments. Yeah, probably probably the most effective way to commit suicide. Probably the most painless way to die coolest. I think that you could crawl out of there, but you'd have to resist the temptation of looking at or grabbing one of the pizzas. So yeah, that's a problem problem. I have wonder this too. Why is being in one of those little ovens?

It would I'm surprised that saw I'm surprised jigsaw never jigsaw himself never cause a little pizza oven sort of situation. Do you think anyone is stared into a pizza oven and not thought about jumping in? I'm pretty sure that when people were listening to real meal, their minds wandered. Wondered to where the nearest pizza oven was. You know, it's also fun to be seen to get seen to get made is ice cream Sunday. Oh yeah, you get to see every step in the process. That's a delight.

What's 100% like saltwater taffy when they have machines that stretch the taffy? Yeah, that is a cool machine. That's great. I was trying to think of like some pole food or stretch food. And I know that that was similar. I went to a place and when I was in Mexico City, like a churro place. There's like a like when they have a few churro places where you got to

watch them make the churros and that was pretty cool too. Like you watch them extrude out of a thing. Yeah. They like coil up. They're much longer than they cut them up. But I'm trying to think there's got to be something else that we're missing wax. Right? Well, the thing that they here's here's the thing I really like to watch

is you get one of those obnoxious like $14 craft cocktails and a bartender who knows what they're doing just assembling that step by step. Yeah. I mean, that's right. Nemma's wheelhouse, but sometimes bartender. And it's that's really like I watching someone build a drink and then like like light an orange peel onto over the top of it and finish it with like a little garnish or I'm just I'm always like completely

entranced by that process. But I'm going to ask Emma here too. Aren't there some bartenders who are like a little too showy sometimes when they're clapping the the leaves and stuff depends on the kind of restaurant you're at. Like if I'm at like an Applebee's and the bartender's trying to like flip like shakers around. I'm like, all right, cool down.

But there are some bars where you have like it's supposed to be a show. Yeah, right. If you if I order a drink and it takes you so long to make my drink because you're trying to show off, then I'm probably a little irritated. I don't know how often you have to like clap the mint leave. Do you have to clap the mint leave? You do. Oh, everyone thinks I it seems like everyone thinks you do have to clap

the mint leave. I don't think I've ever clapped a mint leaf. I don't know what that is. That yeah, that seems fake to me where they do that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I slap this the leave. I love it.

Sometimes they're like that might just like that might be more of an aromatic thing or if you like rough it up a little bit, you get that minty smell. But like, I've never done that to make a cocktail. You know, I'll say you can get that just by threatening it. Look, I don't I don't I don't want a bad mouth bartenders. We love bartenders. Of course. Yeah.

But uh, tough times for bartenders. You can't waste too much time making a cocktail, but it should be a fun experience. But there's also like if you go to like a sports bar and I'm just like ordering a quick cocktail. I don't want to watch you make a crazy cocktail. I want you to put my stuff in a drink so a cup so I can leave. You know what I mean?

I'd say it's COVID. You take as long as you want. What else are we doing? Right? Take a couple hours. Do whatever. Just have fun with it. Take what you can get.

Jason, anything come to mind as a food you personally like to see prepared? It's kind of a traditional, but it's like a good sushi guy. Cutting, cutting into a piece of fish is very satisfying. Yeah. Yeah. They're they're confident. That's fucking awesome. That brings up.

I'm not into it, but people sometimes think it's fun with lobster. I had lobster for my birthday dinner wigs. I got lobster. It was a lobster dinner and we had stuffed clams, not shells, stuffed clams like the cohogs. A lot of people call them. And then we had two different types of cohogs, you say. That's right.

Cohogs. My hometown. You think real meals is bad. Don't think anything else to say. But a lot of people like to make a little show of the live lobsters. I don't like that. I asked my mom if we could have him come. If we could have him come cooked because I don't know what

do they do to them that they like, you know, they hold them up and some some people race. I remember when I was younger, people used to race lobsters, which is kind of fucked up. There's like a way to hypnotize lobsters so that they like stand on their head and they'll stand there like that for five, ten minutes. If you like rub their little the bridge of their nose kind of

and like it's cool. My I like have seen it a couple of times with them as I've gotten older. It's kind of like, is that me? Yeah. Yeah, these are all these these. These are all these are like old Irish sea tricks that that we do up here in the Northeast where we put lobsters asleep and

all this stupid bullshit. But I don't I don't like it. I don't like but I wise I had stuffed shells. I had a I'm sorry stuff stuff clams, co hogs, and I had two different types of salt and vinegar potato chips corn on the cob wise you would. It was a great. It was a great birthday dinner.

You would have loved it. Sounds delightful. Yeah, anything that's that's sort of like the reveling in the the death of an animal like that's definitely too grim for me. I will say that. Yeah, not into that the the but you know as far as like preparing food in front of you.

How much fun did we have at Benihana, Mitch? We had a lot of fun. We had the time of our lives that's such a great experience. That's that's the thing that it's a it's a shame unless you live in a horribly mismanaged state right now and are willing to risk your health that you just can't go to a Benihana in this day and age wise but it you I remember after that you were like I had the time of my life and we are like yeah it

was fun you're like yeah but it was the time of my life and we're like okay. It was a very fun day we that was very enjoyable. You just get to see a master at work and you get to be entertained by them as well. But it is a but yeah that that that's a real treat. Anyway, if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dopeboyspodcast.com

or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830-463-6844 and to get the Dope Boys Double or weekly bonus episode, you can join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash Dope Boys. Jason Walliner, what a treat to have you on the show. Thank you so much for joining us long overdue. Thanks so much. This was so much fun.

I really it has been an honor. Such a fan. Thank you. Thank you so much for saying that. And you weren't in a rush to leave but I got to say 20 minutes on the dot. Yeah, Mitch. Yeah, you won that one too.

Jason, anything you'd like to plug it this time? No. Yeah, there's a movie coming out. Look up my name. You'll see about it. Yeah, Google me. I made a movie. Hope you enjoy it.

Check it out for real. Yeah, check it out. We're excited. Or with grandpa. That one's over. That'll do for this episode of Dope Boys. Until next time, for The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weigher.

Happy eating. See ya. On the next Dope Boys Double, fuck it, we'll do it live-ish. The final double of Rock Around the Clock Doberfest has us take calls from listeners like you live. It's the Dope Boys delivery line, live. And then edited and released later. Get the Dope Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com.

Slash Dope Boys. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description.