Doughboys - Rockaroundtheclockdoughberfest: ampm with Sierra Katow

Episode Date: October 8, 2020

Sierra Katow (Last Comic Standing, Earth To Ned) joins the 'boys to talk late-night eats, Toomgis and convenience store chain ampm. Plus, another edition of Fake Chews.Sources for this week's intro:https://www.nbcsports.com/philadelphia/the700level/philadelphia-flyers-introduce-new-mascot-grittyhttps://cargocollective.com/StephenChow/ampm-Toomgishttps://an-awesome-and-random.fandom.com/wiki/Toomgishttps://www.ampm.com/toomgishttps://web.archive.org/web/20121015172814/http://www.ampm.com/ampm/sectiongenericarticle.do?categoryId=16002923&contentId=7023669Advertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In 2018, the NHL's Philadelphia Flyers introduced their mascot Gritty, a giant orange creature of ambiguous species with a frozen look of elation on its face. Gritty instantly became beloved among not just the Flyers faithful but throughout the entire sports world, as fans connected with his unique character design and mannerisms. But two years prior to Gritty's debut on the ice, a convenience store chain introduced a mascot who bears a striking resemblance to the Flyers' number one fan, or should we say vice versa. Tungus, a hulking monstrosity composed of snack foods stitched together and given life.

Tungus, whose name is short for Too Much Good Stuff, the convenience store's slogan, became the focus of the chain's marketing, factoring prominently in signage and starring in a series of TV commercials where customers are unnerved by his monstrous, golem-like form. In the store's website, Cheekily serves up a series of Chuck Norris-esque factoids about their mascot, such as, quote, Tungus became the accidental inventor of the man bun when he needed a place to put his sandwich down, end quote. The chain, one of many regional runners up behind Sector Kingpin 711, has a name that

implies its open-ended hours of operation and is primarily located in the western United States. First opened in 1978 in Southern California and known by petroleum goliath BP, to date is over 1,100 gas station-adjacent locations across North and South America. But do its food and drink offerings in fact live up to its mascot's Portmanteau name promise of Too Much Good Stuff? This week on Doe Boys, we continue Rock Around the Clock Dober Fest, our month-long tour of 24-hour chains, with AMPM.

Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger. Along with my co-host, the greatest doman, starring huge snack man, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Huge snack man, wow. Yeah. It's like a sentence full of puns. Guilding the lily there a little bit, perhaps.

That was Brian from Glauchester, Massachusetts. How do you say that? Glauchester? No, that's the most wrong. Glauster? Glauster? Glauster? Glauster?

Glauster. That's what Rob Schneider calls the guy who has glue in the office. It's the gluster. Gluing things together. Brian sent over some nice words, which was very nice of him. I won't read them because it'll be a little to self-congratulatory, but roastspoonman.gmail.com. Thank you, Brian. Cool.

All right. Well, I guess I'll never know. Oh, wigs. Look what I got. Mitch is just holding up an apple to taunt me. Mitch, you got a haircut. You're looking very sharp. I'm sorry.

I don't want to get you all horny before the records. Thank you. All right. Next door neighbor, Patty Stern. She chopped it up for me. You went in the backyard and just sort of got a trim? Trimmed it up. Looking all right.

I look like a human being again. I haven't cut it since the pandemic, so I'm back in the Quincy groove. I'm back in it. Wow. And you mean the groove in your couch? I'm coming from my childhood bedroom right now. Wow. How about that?

Live from my childhood bedroom. Wally, well, there's a couple of things. Irma's trying to come downstairs. It's an issue. Boy. She can't come downstairs. She's hopping the baby gate. I got a water bottle to spray her.

But she's hopping and she's running downstairs and rolling around on the rug in the room my mom doesn't want her in. And it's just, it's problems, wigs. She can't go down there. I love her. But she can't go down there. Would you think it would be annoying to eat an apple while we record? Yeah, I think that would be super annoying.

Can I test? Yeah, you think so? All right. I should even try it. I mean, take a bite, but I think it'll be really, I don't think it's that bad. I mean, the bite was pretty loud. The chewing, I'm not hearing as much. You might get a little saliva-y.

I guess if you're eating off mic, it's not the worst thing in the world. You also had all day. You're on the east coast. This is the evening. You could eat in this apple 10 minutes before record. Sometimes in apples, just calling your name, you got to grab the apple. You know this. All right.

So you just want, so you, is your neighbor any sort of patty you mentioned? Any sort of, has a salon, are they a trained barber of any cut, any type? I think, I mean, this is the strangest question. I don't, no, I don't think so. Wow. Just offering up a haircut to a neighbor in need. Yeah, I think she used to cut hair, yeah. Oh, that's nice.

So I didn't have to go in and get a haircut. It was great. Right on the porch. It was great, Wags. What's your issue? I'm just curious how the whole transaction took place. I can't imagine going to my neighbor and asking for a haircut. Hmm.

Like, it's just the whole thing is, but it's, it's a different, you know, we, you and I live different lives. We had different upbringings. We, you have, you were very much, it feels like kind of a new everyone in town. Kind of the mayor of Quincy going around. To be clear, I didn't go over and be like, can I get a haircut? Like, that's not how this, that's not how this happened. I didn't.

So what happened exactly? She was out front and I was like, oh yeah, my hair is wild. I gotta get a haircut. She's like, I can do it. And I said, all right. She came over and gave me a haircut. Wow. Just with like, just like a pair of kitchen shears.

Why did she, did she have some actual styling equipment? No, she used some clippers. She used package scissors to open boxes. She used, she, I don't know. Scissors to cut hair with. I just, you're acting like this is completely normal. And I know we live in abnormal times, but it's not, I was just trying to tell the story about how Irma was coming downstairs and being a little, well, I want to get out and figure

out this haircut situation. But yeah, so Irma has this, Irma has to stay upstairs because the, it's too treacherous downstairs. There's too much mischief she can get into. My mom just has a room that she had, that her living room, which she really likes and she doesn't want the cat to like, track hair in there and leave hair in there and scratch of the couch. So what about you?

You can do that. Irma is hopping the baby gate though. She's hopping the gate. It's an issue. Maybe it, you might need a toddler gate, upgrade that a little bit. Maybe an adolescent gate. Why? Cause you know what else happened?

Wally, he knocked this picture off of my shelf and I haven't, hold on, I'll grab it. We're just standing up or just hurt himself. What happened? Hold on. Here we go. Is the apple okay? The apple is fine. I'm here.

Okay. What happened? The cords, the cords pulled me. It was a cords attraction. Oh, got it. I was in my room. I bring the cats to my room. I haven't seen this picture in forever.

Wally has this between his paws on the floor. Wow. It's me at my first communion. Look at you. I think that this is also taped on the inside of Cardinal Law's locker at Priest High with a heart around it. Christ. But he found this little first communion picture of me.

Very adorable. There's weird numbers on the back. I don't know what these stand for. You and I both toe-headed as youths. We both were blonde and turned brunette. And now we're dough-headed. There you go. Why is that going to say it?

We're going to say rest in peace to RBG. I mean, this dates it, but we've got to say it. Sure. I mean, we do have to say it. It's very sad. RIP, RBG, terrible timing for all involved. Yeah. And of course, just a tragedy.

Let's talk food. I mean, it's just a terrible year. It's just how it's going. Yeah. Sorry if you were using this as some sort of escape from the misery of our world. Nope. We won't let you. No. There's a religious fanatic going to the Supreme Court.

Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. It's bad. It's funny. It is funny to me that, you know, I feel like people like to profile religious fanatics, but then they, you know, they willfully will vote for them to get into office, you know what I mean? I don't quite know. I don't quite get what you're trying to say.

Sorry. Oh, forget it. I was trying to be political for once in my life. I think a lot of people who would support like an Amy Coney Barrett or other fucker name is would are like know what they're getting. They know like, yeah, I know exactly what I, you know, that's what I want. Mm hmm. Like, but I, but I don't know, maybe that, maybe that's what you're saying.

I just didn't get it. That wasn't exactly, but that's good enough. We, it's too, it's too depressing to talk about. You're right. Yes. I'm back in Quincy. I don't get to worry about these things. I'm just having a blast walking around.

I'm going to play a drop. Oh God, our guest. This is pathetic. I'm sorry to our guest. One second. Hold on. Also, we didn't even talk about the Celtics losing. I'll share my screen.

Hold on. My Wendy's order is something that is was a game changer in fast food. I'm being serious. It's the spicy chicken sandwich. It might be the best thing in fast food. Spicy chicken sandwich. I'm being serious. Spicy chicken sandwich.

And I remember when it came out. Spicy chicken sandwich. Fucking love it. Threp. Threp. Revolutionary. I fucking love it. For the listeners at home, I was furiously eating my apple while that drop played.

You know what? They should have more of that in your competitive eating. Everyone's always eating hot dogs and deep fried foods and barbecue ribs. How about something healthy for once? Okay. Do you want to go to the kale eating competition? Yeah. So you can down the most leafy greens.

Let's see how many berries you can take down. Joey Chestnut. Yeah, Chestnut. I bet you couldn't even eat more than 10 berries. Oh, man. You'd get like nine blueberries in and be like, I'm full. I can't do it. I need a hot dog.

Can you press the berries into a hot dog shape? Fucking coward. Yeah, you got called out, Joey Chestnut. Anyways, Mitch made this low five, low, what is this? Oh, low five beats style drop for you guys. Sort of thing to leave on while eating, sort of thing to leave on while eating a sandwich after roasting a joint. I too think the spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's may be one of, we don't condone that.

If not, the best chicken sandwich sandwiches and fast food. This drop is an honor. Sorry, this drop is in its honor. Jesus, can't read today. Maybe it's the Quincy. Maybe I'm back in the Quincy group for real. Best. Best Jose Instagram, JNIT87, J-N-I-E-T-E-T-E-S-E-V-N-P-S one day if the world ever normalized, I'd

love for you guys to come to Jersey and have some Taylor Ham. I know you guys will think it's amazing and wonder why it isn't a breakfast meat staple everywhere. We've talked a little about Taylor Ham previously on the show and also it's, you know, interestingly because we're in 24 hour, we're doing 24 hour chains all month, New Jersey, the diner capital of America, more diners in Jersey than anywhere else, at least per capita, so. Damn, Guy Fieri must love Jersey. He's got it.

Is he from Jersey? No, he's from California. He's not. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Disappointing. Um, well, Wags, we wasted our guest's time. I mean, this is just ridiculous.

Yeah, as we always do. But you know what? If she wanted to leave, I would understand. This fucked up. She's been patient enough to sit through all this bullshit. Let's introduce her. A writer, actor and comedian from Last Comic Standing in Earth Tened, which is now streaming on Disney Plus.

Sierra Cato. Hi, Sierra. Hey! What's up? Not wasting my time at all, it was a joy. And what a, what a drop, you know? It was a nice, that was a nice drop. That was a nice drop.

I do, I do agree. Yeah. Sierra, thank you, thank you so much for being here. I wanted to, you know, Mitch mentioned the Boston Celtics, which he didn't get to get to, but the Celtics have lost to the Miami Heat, Miami Heat now facing my Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals. But I bring that up because, partly to needle him, but partly because you have some Boston connection.

You went to college in Boston. Yeah, no shit. Sure. Yeah, I did, you know, I went to Harvard and did that fun stuff, got to experience snow a little bit because I am a Southern California gal, surfer, dude, as Nick is. And, you know, yeah, it's, it was, I can't claim to actually know what it's like to live in Boston. I didn't have to like shovel snow or do much else outside of just be a, be a little student

and, you know, observe and get my dunk in and live that life, you know, and it was great. But yeah, I mean, you know, I think I probably saw one Celtics game when I was there. That's pretty good. Wow. I went out a lot. Yeah. It was fun. But yeah, I would say I'm probably a Lakers fan.

Hell yeah. That's not good. Yikes. You know, I mean, I rarely watch basketball anymore, but I did used to play. So when I played basketball as a child, I was also very much like, you know, watching, watching the pros, trying to learn from the best, you know? You got it. The Celtics, I think they were a better team than the Heat, but, you know, obviously the

team, the Heat was better than, were better than them for, for four games where it mattered, you know? And I'm bummed out, Yikes. I'm, I'm very, I'm very bummed out that they, it was a big opportunity. I don't know what will happen, but. How about that Coach Spoh? You know, some of Brad. Coach Spoh.

Shut up. Coach them a series. Shut up. Stevens, you know, Stevens did, some of his rotations were kind of wonky. We also need a big, I think we just need a big man, but I'm not going to like throw, you know, like give the team a little more time. Everyone, you know, everyone just overreacts. It's a weird season.

It's a weird one-off season. It's a weird season. I just, it was a good, it was a good opportunity. They just, they'll be back. They just need a little bit more killer instinct. They need a veteran. They need an actual big man and, and Stevens is, he's like you, like you don't react to anything.

Stevens is the same way. Hmm. I don't even know how to react to that. If I told you I had cancer, what would you say? Oh no, buddy. That's what you'd say. I'd do more. I'd say more than, oh no, buddy.

And I think I'd be crying telling you. I'd throw in a there, there buddy. It'll be okay. It's terminal. Then what do you say? What do you say then? Uh, I mean, I might reference the Tom Hanks movie just to try to bring some levity to the situation.

Yeah. Oh, great. Everyone likes that, I think, and they're time of need. Full reference. Dear God. I would, Mitch, I would care, I would be very, I'd be very deeply affected by that. But yeah, but yes. You?

We're similarly unflappable bland sorts. You know what I think? I think if I anything, I'd see a smile on your stupid face for the first time in my life. If I told you that. Come on. Oh no. All right.

I saw, when I held up the apple for everyone listening, he did smile. There you go. See, apple, cancer, similar. You mentioned Sierra, you mentioned Duncan as you were talking through Boston Eats. Do you have any sort of, what were your, do you have any sort of Duncan go tos? Is that a regular haunt for you? Sure. Yeah.

I mean, I would say yes. You know, there's so many, so it's like you kind of just like, even if you're not hungry, you just start like, well, it's there. So that's kind of what's fun about it. I used to, I mean, just thinking back to the fact that, you know, I would be able to kind of like wake up in the morning and just toss back like a coffee coolada as a college student, which is definitely not a thing I can do anymore, but you know, for sure it's, you know, that's just ice cream.

Yeah. Yeah. If you're looking for calories, you got, you got, you got your calories full for the day with, with the, with the coffee coolada, it's, I mean, close to it. Knock it out in the morning, you know, get all the calories out of the way right away and then you don't have to worry about it for the rest of the day. But yeah, I mean, bacon, egg and cheese, you know, you can't go wrong with just a delicious sandwich.

What would you like it on? What was your go-to? I think I would do, I would really just do like a everything or a plain bagel. I don't even know if I really deviated from either of those. So it was really all or nothing. I like, I like the croissant. I'll do it on a croissant a lot, but, but I do like a, yeah, what can I say, I'm fancy. I like the croissant at a Duncan, but I, I'll play, I would play and bagel I do quite

a bit. Speaking of Dunkin' Donuts, English muffins, and speaking of Dunkin' Donuts, it's Dunkin' Days. It's Dunkin' Day, Nick. As of this record, it's Dunkin' Day. It's Dunkin' Day. What does that mean exactly? Are the banks closed in Quincy?

What'd you just say? Are the banks closed in Quincy? I was up for a walk earlier and you couldn't get anywhere. You can't drive. There's parades on every street. Nice. I, you can go and get a free coffee at Dunkin' Donuts today with any purchase, with a, if you purchase any other item.

Wow. And, um, Quincy's a little bit over COVID, it like, like how the rest of the world is in some ways. So, uh, so dangerous, just by choice, I guess, I mean, like, I mean, like there, look, it's not the city is not as bad as other places, but it just feels best, you sense feels very much like we're on the other side of this. Oh, man. And I think that I'm like a paranoid guy.

Yeah. Cause you see that happening in parts of the country and you're like, is, wait, no, I think people are just like, if just like fucking tired of just like, eh, whatever. You know, I think that's like almost the attitude more so than things are actually, we're actually in the clear. I think we just sort of normalize this amount of, of death and illness. It's crazy. I mean, first of all, when people are like, the government controls you, but then it's

like, yeah, but if you just do this for a little bit, you can take the masks off. And then it will be over. You just, just no one. No, that's too logical. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, cause there is, there definitely is that, but I also see that, I think also

I think there's an aspect of like, I was reading a thing that a lot of, you know, the, the young people who are spreading COVID are spreading it because they're being forced to go back to their service jobs. And so like, you know, you have to go work at a fucking, you know, fast food restaurant because you can't get any unemployment benefits anymore. And so that's where you're spreading it to people or catching it yourself. And then we predicted two colleges are a huge place for outbreaks. Don't.

Yeah, exactly. Bring people back to the dorms. You idiots. What are you doing? We're learning. What the fuck are you doing? What are we doing? For no sake.

Mask takes away my freedom. Just wear a mask. What does that mean? That doesn't mean anything. I know the kids are going to, the kids are going to smooch. If they go back to college, they're going to smooch each other. You're not going to be able to stop that. Would not have been a problem for me.

Yeah. Yeah. Wags and I would have, we would have our masks on 24 seven would be fine. Good. Responsible adults. I did. I talked, I talked, I talked to, I talked to an Emerson, an Emerson student recently. And he, he was saying that, that, that, that a lot of dorks adhere to the rules.

He's like nerdy guys like me adhere to the rules or nerdy people like me adhere to the rules. And then there's like cool people that are out and partying. Yeah. And so that's just the way it goes. Quincy seems, uh, so I wasn't, I wasn't, you know, super psyched to run to Duncan, but right. Well, unless you, but unless you really need something free, that's always the thing of

like you're paying with your time, you know, cause lines are extra long and those sorts of days. And it's just like, do I really want to deal with that or would I rather just pay the $2 some other day? Yeah. That's always like, I don't know that, but, but, you know, whatever it's, those promotions are fun. So Duncan, uh, was there anything else notable from your time in Boston, any other, any other

favorite eats besides Duncan? Hmm. Any other eats? I mean, there was a tasty burger there in the square that, that was a great late night spot. Um, I mean, I just noticed that I think because the dining hall was, uh, I guess it wasn't very good. I didn't really know, you know, I think going in, you're just like, wow, food every day,

all different foods. Oh my God. What's this? I was introduced to cuisines, quote unquote, in the dining hall that I just had never had before. So in my head, I was like, this is chicken tikka masala. Oh my God. It's so delicious.

And everybody who actually knew what that's supposed to taste like was like, this is an abomination. This is disgusting. Please leave. Um, so yeah, I'm just, anytime there was something with rice, I just descend on it. And then, so yeah, so if I was ever going to venture out and like buy food, it was always like mind blowing how delicious it was because it was contrasted with the dining hall. So I really enjoyed.

There's the Hong Kong restaurant that was there, even though now then I've gone back and as an, as an adult, eaten at some of these same restaurants and I'm like, oh, this is really not great. But I think just, you know, where your palate is at, you're like, wow, this wonton soup is absolutely delicious. And then, you know, later I'm like, well, you know, I could, I don't know what's going on in this, but it's murky, um, but it's good. That's, that's, that's, that's a crazy thing from like the 10 years after, from when you're

like 20 to 30, the, like, uh, the thing, like what I thought was maybe good stuff when I was, when I was 20 compared to 30, but the Harvard, look, I'm sure with doughboys we'll, we'll review it eventually, but the, the, the Harvard mess hall, not great. Yeah. Wow. He's pretty rough, pretty rough. So I hear, um, they didn't, they, they love to give us some, a lot of swine. Uh, do we know what this is?

Swine. Swine. So they fed us a lot of swine, which was a white, a white fish. And, um, upon further research, uh, you know, there was like a whole kind of expose on swine in the student newspaper or something. And it turned out to be sort of a, uh, sort of a, in between a shark and a fish, I don't know what it was. Um, not ideal.

Uh, definitely kind of like the surplus fish that you might, you know, scrape off the bottom of the ocean or something. I don't know. Right. So that was a, that was a staple. And, you know, a lot of, uh, multi-grain pastas that were like kind of mostly just solid stuck together. So it was, it was a lot of stuff.

Um, you know, they did their best. I can't complain. You know, it was, it was, you know, it was fine, but, uh, overall, yeah, I think, I think the consensus was this isn't great. Also dining halls closed at seven 30. So I was just constantly trying to find food and save it for early cutoff, early cutoff. Yeah. Yeah.

So what a fun time. But yeah. Also the coffee, not great. Unfortunately. So I just unfortunately resulted in, uh, just not, yeah, I didn't really study much because it's just like, I could stay up, you know, needed the coffee. Um, so that's what I blame my, my lack of studies on. I, uh, yeah, me too.

Yeah. Great. So let's say it is after seven 30, you're going to go get some, some late night grub. Like what, what do you like? What, what is something you like late into the evening? Yeah. I mean, you know, back then it was probably, uh, like a tasty burger, hamburger, or, you know, some late night Chinese food, like a scallion pancakes at the Hong Kong restaurant

or the Kong or a, um, you know, uh, what else? Or crab rangoon. They also get served there, which was mainly just cream cheese and anything in a one ton skin. Uh, yeah. You know, so that was all top notch stuff, one ton soup, you know, all that. Um, I mean, yeah. As far as like what other chains and fast food chains were there.

I mean, there was also like not chains, but well, I guess, yeah. Well, the Panera opened up there. That wasn't late night, but a Panera did open up when I showed up. So that was a lot of fun. You know, you got to get your cheese and broccoli soup that comes in a block that they melt down in the morning. And you just sit that right up. Uh, so that was yummy.

And you got to get in a bread bowl. You know what I gotta say? Give me that block. Yeah. Give me the block. Check me off some block. Hey, you're, you're, you're a bread place. Panera bread.

Slice that block up. Yeah. Slice the block. Treat it like a terrine. I don't need to liquefy. Yeah, really. That's, that would save a lot of energy. I was, I want to give a shout out to that.

The kid who, uh, the kid from Emerson's name was Luke. Luke witherall. Luke witherall. I don't know if I said it right. It's sorry. And fuck you if I said it wrong. It was a nice kid. He interviewed me this, uh, this last week.

Wow. How about that? Yep. Smartest, funniest guy. Uh, award. Oh God. Award. Jesus.

I couldn't even think of anything. I'm a fucking idiot. Wow, Mitch, a stop down. We just stopped down. Now it was seamless for our listeners. They had no idea this transpired, but we were actually stopped down for several minutes because I'm having some lag with my internet connection. I had to dial in with my phone.

And you came back to me and I was drinking out of a giant jug. You were chugging. You moved on from Apple to jug. I got a big jug. It's a big jug. Chug jug. It's a chug jug. It's, it's, I got, I got, I got, I got a chug jug.

I got a half, I got a half gallon jug to a half gallon thermos, a Rambo. Wow. Because I'm trying to drink, I'm trying to drink at least a half gallon of water a day wags. Now for perspective, this thing is almost as big as Mitch's head. Damn, I'm the original jug head. It is, it is, it is close. Yeah, it's substantial.

My, my head is bigger, maybe. Yeah, it is. I think, I think your, your head is a little bigger actually. Is my head, is my head behind the jug? Um, you can, you know what? You can just see kind of the sides peeking out. You can see the ears next to the jug. It just basically looks like a potato head.

Yeah. The jug has headphones. Also, I mean, are we counting beard and hair? That's true. I guess that's. Beards all splayed out on the sides. It's, it's, why is it's my own, it's like basically my own flood for those people who are playing Mario Sunshine.

I don't play Mario Sunshine. We know flood, the Mario's backpack. Wow. It shoots water. This may, this may be was too dorky of a reference. No, I think everyone loved it. I don't know flood. I beat it wise.

I beat Super Mario Sunshine. Wow. I'm proud of you. I've never done that myself. I've never played through Mario's. I played Mario Sunshine and I got tired of it because it's so, it's, it's just, it's less fun than the other 3D Mario's. Is that, is that fair?

Sierra, have you ever played Super Mario Sunshine? I haven't. I'm currently playing Mario Odyssey. Wow. Hell yeah. Wow. Wow. I mean, great.

That to me is one of the best, that's one of the best Mario games of all time with, I love Mario 64, Super Mario worlds. Those are A plus, A plus titles. Super, Super Mario Sunshine, my Moto Sun should be, he should be ashamed to have his name on it. It's a terrible Mario. Wow. Maybe that's extreme.

After all he's done. He's, he didn't, he's not the main producer on it. He's, he's just, he's just one of the producers. Yes. He's not like the main director or whatever. But it's not good, why? It's like the, like the extra missions, blue coins and stuff, it's stupid. Look.

They took some, they took some swings. It didn't all, didn't all work out. Look, I do realize that I'm a 38 year old man in my home again, playing Super Mario Sunshine and beating it. And I feel pathetic in many ways. You shouldn't. That's great. That's what life is all about.

What else do you think it's about? Do you think I should a hundred percent it is my question to you? Um, I mean, I don't, I, I think you're, I think you are a completionist. So I think you're going to, regardless of what I say. And. Only with Mario 3D Mario games. That's it. Nothing else in life.

You are a 3D Mario completionist. But I think, I think you should. Yeah. Why not go for it? What else do you got going on? He's got to drink that half a gallon. That's going to take some time. You know what?

Drink it. I mean, and I should probably drink closer to a gallon a day, but. Damn, it's a lot of water. Why? Yeah. If you, to really actively stay hydrated, it's a lot. Piss city USA. Why?

Good God. But that's great. I know I need a larger vessel. I just, I, I, as a result get dehydrated because I don't have half a gallon. Um, but I think the big water bottles for me, I used to have like a big water bottle that had a big mouth. And then I just feel like, you know, you need the like smaller mouth because it just dumps on you.

Like if you're not careful, it's like, Oh, I'm just, just completely drowning myself. But you know, that one looks nice because it's got like a smaller mouthpiece. You can kind of control the flow. It's got, it's got, it's got, it's got, it's got a tiny little mouth hole. And it's, it's, it's, it's a Yeti. I got a Yeti Wags, which is a, it's a, it's a fancy one. But, but I wasn't going to drink. It keeps, it keeps the water cold.

You just keep it by me. But I got to tell you, it's a half gallon. It's a lot of, also Weigar, Weigar also texted me, is Piscity USA real? Can I move there? No. Why can't I move there? They're not taking Americans, I'm sure. Uh, but, but I'm trying to up the water game.

I'm trying to walk. I'm trying to be healthy. Yeah. It's a, it's good to do. It's tough to do right now. Sarah, are you, so you mentioned you having, you're having, uh, yeah. It's a struggle for you to also stay hydrated. Are you someone who likes just straight up water?

I can drink water and enjoy it as a beverage, but I know a lot of people don't like it. It's Nick's, it's Nick's favorite beverage. I think it's probably my favorite beverage. Oh dear. Flat water. I mean, admirable. That's a superpower I think that you have. I honestly, like, I think I just was never in the habit.

I know as a kid, I was a big milk kid, which is, you know, you know, that was a time when I think it was like, Oh, you know, if you want to grow, you got to drink your milk. Right. And I was, you know, I was a tiny little, little pipsqueak kid. I was trying to grow. I was playing basketball. You know, the goal was to surpass five feet. Um, and maybe, I maybe, I maybe had one or two many milks, it seems.

I mean, you know, moderation, that's all good. Um, but yeah. So I, I, yeah, I was used to like, if I was going to be, um, drinking something, I had to drink milk. So as a result, I would kind of just like choose not to drink anything and dehydrate myself. Um, but yeah. So then now the concept of drinking water is a little weird.

You know what I've tried is, um, those little like liquid IV packet thingies that are like, like supposed to make it more like electrolytes and stuff. Oh wow. And it kind of adds sort of a Gatorade-ish flavor so that you're hydrating maybe a little bit more than the volume you're consuming. Um, but again, I mean, and I get like headaches and stuff. I don't drink enough water. I know I should, but, um, it's a whole, you know, it's, it's sort of a, a thing that I

have to, I think, I think the bigger vessel is honestly the way to go. So I might have to ask you for the link to that Yeti. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's a great Yeti. I mean, it keeps the water, I just keep it like by my bed. It's, but it is, it is giant. It is, it is, it is, it is, it is huge. And I can, you're supposed to drink this much water. That's, that's like, that's what you're supposed to do in life.

That's insane. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think any, I feel like we're going to, every time you get any sort of nutrition advice, we've talked about this in terms of how like the pendulum shifted from how everyone was talking about saturated fats is like the worst thing in the world to carbs is the worst thing in the world and fats are actually okay. It's like, it's, it's, I feel like like at some point, yeah, at some point we're going

to learn like, Hey, you actually should not, you should not drink water. It's like terrible for you. You're supposed to drink Pepsi. Yeah. Chug as many pepsis and a small amount of time as possible. I don't be, I like for water to, well, I mean, you know, you can of course do too much like the people who like, they use that as a hazing strategy and then they end up dying cause it's like you're flushing out all your good stuffs.

You know, you don't want to do that. I think I've told this anecdote on the story, on the show before, but I got hyponaturemia, which is what you get from drinking too much water. Oh no. I was out in the, I was out in like an outdoor sort of thing. It was an outdoor event and I was just hydra, I was over hydrating and then just sweating so much, sweat was pouring off of me. And so the, the sodium level in your blood gets super low and then you're just basically

every muscle group of my body was cramping at once. And I also, any fluids that I would put in my body, I would, like if I was trying to drink a Gatorade, I would just immediately like projectile vomit. And I was so, I was in the most pain I've ever been in my life. I went to the ER, my friend took me to the ER and I was like the guy in the ER that everyone else in the ER waiting room was worried about because I was just like, I was like curled up into a ball and just like cramping and just like running to the bathroom to puke and dry heave.

And then they just, they gave me basically two gigantic, like 10 liter like IVs of just straight, pretty, pretty much straight saline, just like, like filled my blood, filled my bloodstream with just like a bunch of salt and I immediately felt better. Like after that it was, it was just like, it was such a weird experience though, because it was like ailment I didn't even know you could have. This is like a, like a lame ass villain origin story that you're telling right now. Salt man. Wow, that's crazy wise.

Yeah, it's really, really uncomfortable. But so yeah, you can't, you can't have too much water. Kind of sad that Gatorade didn't do the, didn't do the deed back then. Didn't do you in. It could be dough boys with the Mike Mitchell and Joe Saunders. Yeah, why not? It's like the same show. No one notices anything's different.

Do you know, do you know, speaking of chugging, chugging Pepsi when I, when I, when I was like 16 or 17, I got a, I bought a funnel. We made a funnel. I shouldn't, my mom is in the other room. Oh boy. Can I get in trouble? I can't get in trouble anymore. What the hell?

Yeah, you're an adult. I bought, I made a funnel and like you were going to try to funnel beer. You know, we were just figuring this sort of thing out or whatever. And I tried to show them how it worked by funneling a Pepsi and then like as, as I funneled the Pepsi and then like another guy came and so I like ended up funneling like four Pepsi's over the course of a few minutes. That sounds worse than funneling a beer. Yeah.

No, it was bad. The, the, the funnel was like sticky forever. Oh God. It's hard to wash those funnels. Not dishwasher safe, you know. They're not dishwasher safe. It's hard to explain when you're washing it in the sink to your mom. It was, it was, it was bad news.

Hey Mitchell, why is the funnel sticky? It was the Pepsi. Jesus Christ. Um, let's talk about. What you used is like a makeshift flashlight. I don't know. Oh, I didn't think about that. Let's talk, uh, let's quickly pivot from that to, uh, to, from late night to breakfast

faves. What do you like for breakfast, Sierra? What do you get in the first thing in the morning? I know you mentioned a bacon, egg and cheese from Duncan. Sure. I mean, you know, I love, ooh, I love a breakfast burrito right now. You know, I mean, that's always great. And I can like, you know, eat it, go back to bed.

Uh, that's kind of the best case scenario. If I have to stay out, you know, I'll eat a little bit. So I could do like three meals, just the one burrito, if you get a nice big one, you know, so that's a lot of fun. Um, I'll do, I'll do a, uh, you know, I mean, and then just with cooking at home and stuff, um, bacon and eggs and stuff like that too. So that's been me because, you know, less access to the outside world. But yeah, I mean, I would say, I would say, especially now, like burritos,

a great go-to. And I mean, I definitely like the, uh, sort of sausage, egg and cheese sandwich. If I can get my hands on one out in the world, it's not as great as Duncan was, but, um, you know, I'll take it. I'll take it. I mean, even like Starbucks, if I'm in there and like, I'm hungry, I'm actually quite impressed with their Gouda option. Gouda sausage sandwich.

They heat it up for you and you just toss it back with your little cold brew or whatever you're getting there. And, you know, I can do that, but I don't, I mean, I rarely am, you know, it's a bit of a splurge if that's happening, you know. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's breakfast is such a thing that's, that's, that's relatively easy to prep

on your own that I find myself like if I'm going out, like I'm really going out and getting breakfast to go. And for me, breakfast is, unless it's like, I specifically want like, I'm craving McDonald's breakfast or something. It's, it's like breakfast is a thing that where I'll go and I'll like want to sit at a diner counter and like make an experience out of it if I'm going out or, you know, got brunch, everyone loves brunch. But, you know, now these days it's moot.

We talked about this on last week's episode. It's also, you don't get breakfast delivered. I mean, like breakfast is a, it's a, it's a tough one. It's a tough, it's a, it's a tougher one. Yeah. If I go to like a, the diner kind, I love a, what's that? Corned beef hash. Oh yeah.

That's a good thing. And I like the like, I like the like one that's kind of churned out by some sort of machine. Yes. Nellie's the same way. Nellie, Nellie wants the canned corned beef hash over the fresh corned beef hash. It's like a different experience and I guess it's a very specific craving. I've had it. I appreciate it.

Yeah. It's just nice. It's like kind of chewed up for you. Yeah, much work. Sierra, are you a fan of eggs Benedict? I am, but I would, I don't know. It sounds like that's not the truth. Wait.

So yeah. And that's the one that sometimes comes with Holland days. Is that correct? Yes. That's correct. Right. Okay. So sometimes I don't know these eggs.

They're doing them all sorts of ways. Okay. But yes, that one, I would say I love it. Well, you know what I love? Oh, I didn't mention this, but I love a locks bagel. Wow. So anything with locks, I will go for it. So I know one place that I went, they did have a locks eggs Benedict.

And that was pretty lavish, I must say. Wow. So yeah. So that's kind of where my, you know, where I'm doing that the most is if I can find it with that, but I don't know if I'm going for the eggs Benedict myself. Wags and I had, we had a good, remember I had that fried chicken eggs Benedict at the fabled diner in Canada. Where were we in Canada?

That was fun. We were up in Vancouver a while back. Yes. Let me ask you a question about locks. What's the difference between locks and grovelocks? I've heard them both and I don't, are they the same thing? I've never heard of grovelocks, but I've heard of sounds like. Did you hear the grovelocks?

I thought grovelocks was a villain in Zelda. I know. It sounds like an ancient goblin, maybe? Yeah. Grovelocks. So grovelocks or grovelocks is a Nordic dish consisting of salmon. Oh God, I choked. That is consisting of, I was licking my lips and I choked on my tongue.

It's a thing of salmon that has cured using salt, sugar and dill. So what is the difference? I don't know what the difference is. Wags, hold on. Oh, but you get the dill as well. So it's like a whole dish versus just the, I think locks might just be the smoked salmon. Is that. Grovelocks versus locks.

Grovelocks is cured, but not smoked salmon. Okay. So locks is the belly, which is salt cured, but not smoked. So it's also not. I don't know. Interesting. Well, I guess I'm using locks probably inaccurately, but I think you're right. No, I think you're right.

I think you're right. I see it as locks if you're going to get a bagel or something. Wags, you know what I think? It is a forward. Never say grovelocks to me ever again. You know what? That goes for everybody. I don't want to hear grovelocks ever again.

It's cause you're asking for it. You're asking for it in your mentions. People don't need groveloxing you left and right. Don't you dare at me with grovelocks. Hashtag grovelox Mitch. You don't want to get groveloxed. That's dangerous. It's the next big internet trend.

I'm not a huge lock span. If it's cut thin enough on a bagel with cream cheese, I'll enjoy it. But I don't want it in the morning. Either really it's more of a brunch thing and I don't. Right. Look, I haven't had it at the best deli in New York or whatever or the best bagel place in New York. So I don't know the best version of it.

Yeah, you're saying that so a bunch of New Yorkers aren't like. You just haven't had good locks. Yes. This man hasn't had good locks in the greatest city in the world. New York City. Right in the subway. Folding a slice in half. Go Yankees.

The same group that threw trash at the Green Goblin when he was fighting Spider-Man. And cheered on the Ghostbusters when they were going to save the day on top of the building. I remember when I was in college, Joe Aranda, we got up on a Sunday after hanging out and drinking and doing college-y things on Saturday night using the funnel. I brought the funnel up from Quincy. A little funnel time. And Joe early in the morning, because we left at 9 or something, which for then was early in the morning.

And he got a first thing in the morning hung over. Joe Aranda, Randy, he got a locks on a bagel with cream cheese. And I was like, you can't. That to me just doesn't compute to me. That doesn't work to me. It's like a locks early in the morning. It doesn't have that breakfast food thing to me, right? It just depends on what you're craving.

But I get what you're saying if you really want something that's going to... To me, it's not a go-to for me. Fish in particular is not a thing that I would go to if I was hung over. That to me would not work. I guess it might work for some people. Are you serious? Are you someone who you'll tie one on sometimes? You put a little lemon juice on top, a little red onion.

I think it helps cut the fish aspect. And it makes it just a savory breakfast. But I understand too. I think this is a recent thing for me. I think it's like a pandemic thing. I'm lacking some sort of vitamin in my brain. And I'm just going straight for the salmon. I don't know what's going on.

This wasn't me for a long time. So yeah, it's who knows what I'm going to be like after... Well, if there's an after. But I see that it can be a little strange. And I pretty much am only okay with it. Yeah, if you can have like, and also black pepper on top. You know, I mean, look, I'm getting fancy. It's a bit much, but yeah.

Well, hey, I was going to transition to... I was going to go from do you like breakfast food to you like dinner food, but everybody likes dinner food. We all like dinner food. I mean, everyone is like breakfast is my favorite meal. It's not true. It's just not true. I think for some people it's true.

No, no, no, no, no. No, for listeners out there, if you think breakfast is your favorite meal, you're a fool. It's not true. You're lying to yourself. This will get people more mad wags than anything else. Yeah.

If you're riled up by this, hit Mitch up with a grovelox. That's the hashtag groveloxmitch. Oh, no. You know, it's a little... Let me dinner and lunch are better than breakfast, right? I mean, I like a lot of breakfast foods. Don't get me wrong. I like breakfast.

I don't know how I'd rank them. I guess if I was only going to get one, it would be... I guess I'd probably put dinner over breakfast just because of the variety of foods, but I don't know. I might like breakfast more than lunch. I don't know. Lunch is pretty good, though.

Wags. It is ratka-fest, ratka-deba-fest. That's right. It's ratka-deba. It is rock around the clock doberfest, and we were talking this week's chain, ampm, ampm, all lowercase, all one word, opened in Southern California back in 1978,

now owned by BP, a giant British petroleum conglomerate, and Tumgis, its towering snack golem mascot, introduced in 2016, which it's known for. The home of Tumgis. We're in Tumgis' house. Tumgis' town. We're in Tumgis' country.

Sierra, you actually mentioned Tumgis when we were discussing this week's chain. Do you have any thoughts on the 7-foot 6-inch Tumgis? Oh, you know, so many thoughts. I mean, I was, you know, here's the thing. Tumgis, you know, as a mascot, I think is doing, I think mascots are hard for companies, you know, so it's doing a decent job

of really revving up conversation. You know, we're already talking about Tumgis. We're talking about it. So, you know, clearly any press is good press, I guess, but yeah, you know, I think, you know, I mean, it's definitely gross, I think intentionally so too, and I have like a little bit of trypophobia,

which is textures. Do you guys know about trypophobia? It's like basically fear of like small holes very close to each other. Oh, yes. Or like, yeah, textures, kind of tight textures, yeah. I've gotten the small holes thing just makes me feel nauseated sometimes.

Oh. Oh, look at that, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Not like a fear of it, but like just like, oh, that's gross. Right, right. I think, yeah, the fear is probably taking it too far. Definitely more of a like kind of feeling itchy and kind of uncomfortable.

So, Tumgis really does that well because he's got, you know, all sorts of clutter kind of on his skin, which is tough, right? Because I think a lot of it is being like, oh, I don't want those tiny holes on my skin. And his skin is just like a lot of little tiny little snacks.

So, yeah. So, yeah, so I mean, you know, he doesn't, he's definitely doing his job by being gross. I personally don't think that his body is, I personally don't think that his body is too cluttered. I think it's pretty, Okay, I mean, you know, yeah, there's something for everyone.

I think it's just comparatively, I think that I'm maybe close to similar. Yeah, you got some, you got a tiny sum for the likeness rights. It came down to me and Tumgis is the mascot. Tumgis, so for people who aren't, maybe aren't familiar with him because AMPM is a somewhat regional chain.

Tumgis, as I mentioned, seven feet, six inches tall. So, up there with NBA greats like Manute Bowl, Yao Ming. Wow. He has a cheeseburger for a nose, cookies for a mustache, licorice for hair,

cheese curls for a beard, his clothes are made out of packaged snacks. So, things like chips and pretzels and hot dogs in their packaging to disguise his torso and genitals. And then he has the palms of his hands are, you know, cinnamon rolls, his fingers are hot dogs.

So, it's all things like that. He's just an assemblage of a bunch of different snacks into this gigantic, ostensibly friendly creature. What do you think he's working with down there? Are we talking one of those big boy Charleston chews? Or are we talking a Snickers Mini? You know, I got to say, his underwear appears to be Eminem's.

So, I kind of feel like he's, I kind of feel like he's not packing much there. Wow. Yeah, he's maybe got like a rollo. Wow. Yeah. No wonder it came down to me and him. Tumkis is, I don't hate Tumkis.

I don't hate him. He's like gritty. He's kind of similar. He actually is very, I wonder if they were like, one inspired the other to some degree because they came around in similar time frames. I wouldn't,

the thing is like, I wouldn't want to eat pizza in the hut either. It's gross. We've talked about this before, but. Oh, I did him. I know, I know you would. It's disgusting. But Tumkis, I really wouldn't eat.

Tumkis is. Yeah. Tumkis is gross. Tumkis is too gross. It seems like it, I think Tumkis kind of reminds me of like when they put food out and then they spray it with like a shellac, you know, or something's going on.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not even real food, I think that, but display food. He's a little display foodie. So I don't think it'd be easy to bite into anyway, even though, like on their website and everything,

they say like, Oh, he smells really good. And you know, you don't want to eat his face or something, but I don't know. I don't feel that way. I feel like he, I feel like he had bugs on him too.

He's just like, Yeah. I feel like he'd attract a lot of them. I also feel like if you, if you bit into him, he'd like it and that'd be off-putting. Yeah. Yeah.

That, that feels right. I feel, yeah. I mean, and then his name right is, is a conglomerate of the motto. Is that correct?

Yeah. Too much good stuff. Exactly. Yeah. It's something of a portmanteau. Yeah. Oh, that's dumb. So.

But the name Tumkis is good. The name itself sounds good. The name, the name itself does sound good. Yeah. I get it. Like, I feel like the fact that we're all like new,

Oh, it's Tumkis. Like, I think that's like, you know, it's not like a name that you don't know how to pronounce because it's pretty fanatically. Right. Brand recognition,

it's working. I mean, the Tumkis is working. Tumkis is working. Tumkis is working. Success. We're all talking Tumkis. I did a little digging to one,

the director behind the Tumkis commercials, because I think I was just looking up Tumkis a little bit more, you know, for research before the show and, you know, I wish this was disconnected to the podcast. You're just, you're just doing this research on your own. Research on mascots that I love.

And, and it's an Asian American director, which, you know, I, we don't, we don't get a lot. We don't get a lot of representation these days.

You know, fresh off the boat got canceled. Certain things are, you know, move on with controversial. So I'm, I'm going to say Tumkis might be my representation. So that's.

Wow. Wow. So I, you know, I take what I can get and I think that I got a lot. So thank you. Wow. Well,

there you go. Hell yeah. Tumkis. Yeah. So just know what community that we're, we're talking about when we're talking to him. Yes. That is that,

that bums me out that you're, that if it was like, Asian-American representation in film and television and Tumkis is one of the featured things. That's a, that shouldn't, that shouldn't be the way it is. That's a bummer.

Yeah. You know, I mean, Sandra O can't carry all the weight. You know, we got to, we got to distribute some onto his little, some mineral palms. Tumkis and Sandra O with their arms around each other. Well, that's,

that's, that is the, hey, and the commercials work. I agree. I, I think that, I think that in,

in, in another way, look, I grew up with 7-Eleven boy. I was a little 7-Eleven boy. Right. Look, we had Dairy Mart,

which became Dacys and all the, like it, that was a, that was the thing that was in New England, Dairy Mart at one point. And then I think Dacys, but then 7-Eleven became like, that shut down and it became a,

just a local convenience store. And then. Yes. 7-Eleven was it for me and Slurpees and all that. I got to say this, as far as like commercial representation, as far as just getting itself out there, AMPM beats 7-Eleven by a mile.

Right. I mean, like 7-Eleven doesn't even really have to do any commercials, I guess at this point. Well, 7-Eleven is so ubiquitous. It's just everywhere. It's not,

you know, AMPM is mostly regional. It may have some locations outside the US, but it's, you know, it's mostly on the West coast and somewhat into the mountain West,

whereas 7-Eleven is literally everywhere. Like if you look at, if you look at other nations, convenience store chains, like 7-Eleven is like usually at the top of the list. It's just like, it's like McDonald's of convenience stores. So they don't,

they don't have to even have to do anything. Sierra, were you, were you an AMPM fan at all growing up? Did you go there a lot? Did you even experience it or just, you know, I don't even think,

I mean, probably road trips, but I, I was big, an extra mile opened up when I was in high school, I think, and that was like the spot

because it was really nice extra mile. So I was like getting my, you know, slim gyms after school. What are your, what are your kind of gas and grab go-tos? Like, do you ever mess with a hot food

or you stick with like your slim gyms and your, and your soft drinks? Oh, interesting. Yeah. I know I would get, I would get some hot foods. Like I remember,

well, I would go to a 7-Eleven. I used to work at, I did some like, essentially unpaid work at, the nerd melt showroom, which was in the back of the meltdown comic book store. And then you said 11 right across the street.

Wait a minute. Unpaid work at a comedy theater? This doesn't add up. You know, I, I'm just such a, you know, volunteer based human being.

But anyway, yes. So, and like to be, to be totally honest, we got paid in snacks. Also, can I quickly say,

hey listeners, Doe Boys are looking for interns. Email us at Doe Boys podcast at gmail.com. That's not true. That, so, so, so AMPM is not,

is not your goat, is not your go-to spot though. It's not, it's not a, I don't think so. Yeah. Yeah. I had gotten some pizza at the 7-Eleven though.

And that's, that was kind of my, my dinner sometimes. It was very good at kind of like, absorbing all the flavors of the store. So I kind of felt like I got a little bit of everything that pizza. That's so,

that's what, so when I was like younger or whatever, of course I always like slurpees. And then I think 7-Eleven can have good hot dogs. And then back in the day, they used to have bakery sticks. I used to really like bakery sticks. They,

they were like, they ventured out into like, like roller food, where there was foods on, on the rollers, like cheeseburger bites and things like that. And, and they had a few things there,

which there, there was like a sausage and cheese bakery stick that I really liked when I was like a kid, because it was just like, a thing late at night that you could get a snack of. But, besides slurpees, and,

and maybe hot dogs, and I maybe even the nachos, though I'm not even sure anymore, I think the 7-Eleven food is pretty hard. Like the, the, the, the 7-Eleven brand 7-Eleven food,

like the pizza and stuff, I'm not a fan of. Hmm. I feel like that pizza can be okay if you get the whole pizza, not the slice. If you get the slice, it's been sitting there for too long.

It just is never, I've never been into a 7-Eleven where that food looks like it's cooked well or hasn't just been sitting around forever. Sure. And, and this, and I gotta say,

I'm not, I haven't visited AMPM a lot, but a lot of people are like, the food there is actually pretty good. Like that's what you hear a lot of the time. And I will say that when I was in there, they do have a system where they're putting out food and there's stamps on the bottom of it,

of when that food is good to us at a time. And seeing that is kind of helpful. And look, we'll get into it more because we should, should we start talking about what we got, Nick? Yeah, let's get into it. I mean, and you know,

we're talking AMPM, so we might as well break it down into AM and PM as is the theme of this month. For my AM side, I got the double sausage and cheese croissant. This is cross branded with Jimmy Dean, which has a lot of sausage and no egg. I was kind of,

I should have seen that it didn't say egg in the title, I'm not going to have it, but you know, like that kind of croissant hybrid bun thing, which had a nice texture to it. I thought that this was very sausage, like I thought the sausage had a good flavor to it and lots of cheese.

I was just like, if I was having this in the morning and I was either like, I had to get up super early for work and I just needed like, like, you know, fucking nutrition in my body or if I was hungover,

like this would be perfect for this. I thought it was like a really well executed just, just, you know, I think intentionally trashy sort of breakfast sandwich. I got their Cinnabon branded Apple turnover as a sweet treat in the breakfast side, which I was less enthused by. It's, it seemed a little old,

just slightly stale even though it has, you know, the handwritten, you know, in marker timestamp that Mitch mentioned on it. And I didn't, like what was a Cinnabon connection? I don't even, like I didn't see any, didn't detect any Cinnabon character.

Like if you're like, this is from, this is affiliated with Cinnabon and I'd be like, what are you talking about? Where like, like Cinnabon for me says indulgence. Cinnabon for me says, you know,

fresh and hot. And there was no aspect of that. This was like a turnover that felt like it had been, you know, I could have gotten it off of the, like a bagged Entenmann's turnover. Like it was, it was,

and that's not even a dog on Entenmann. So I'm just saying it's like that, that level of quality. And then I also got myself a high voltage Java coffee and added some pumpkin spice creamer. I don't love pumpkin spice, but I figured sure,

why not? Now they got it there. Let's see what it does. Tis the season, Nick. Tis the season. Yeah, get in the spirit. Exactly. I threw some of that

pumpkin spice creamer in there. The coffee, I will say, they're calling it high voltage. They're really trying to lean on its caffeinated quality. And I said, this was a pretty potent cup of Joe.

I mean, this was pretty good. I think I would have preferred it black. But the pumpkin spice creamer was okay. Added just like a touch of sweetness. I just have always been someone who prefers less additives in their coffee. And I think this is one where I probably would have been better just having it straight.

But you know, hey, if I'm comparing this to other convenience stores and comparing this to a 7-Eleven coffee, this was on par with 7-Eleven coffee. I think 7-Eleven has decent coffee. Mitch, how about you? What did you get for your AMPM on the AM side? Nick, on the AM side,

and maybe some will... I mean, I disagree that this is on the AM side, but I think that this is being marketed as an AM side because I got myself a mocha frappe from... So basically, the frostuccino. So there's the mocha frappe and the French vanilla frappe.

So I'm thinking that these are iced coffees. These are... I mean, they're like slurpy coffees, basically. Yes. For me, a mocha frappe back here in Quincy, that's not a morning thing. It's a treat. It's a sweet treat, wigs.

And afternoon indulgence. Yeah, and this mocha frappe was just... I mean, it wasn't terrible because I got something that was worse than that in frozen form that I'll get to. Oh, boy. But it was just not... It was a far cry from the mocha frappe's

I'm used to, and even though that's not supposed to be breakfast thing, it just kind of tastes like shit. And wigs, I also got the sausage, egg, and cheese croissant, the Jimmy Dean one. But mine had egg on it. Well, you got the sausage, egg, and cheese.

I got the double sausage and cheese. Mine swapped out the egg for a second sausage. So I got... You know what? I liked it. I thought it was pretty tasty. I thought mine was good. I like the sausage.

It was tasty for breakfast sandwich that you get in a gas station. I feel like it was a million times better than a lot of 7-Eleven ones I've had or something, or would have. For a gas station breakfast sandwich, it was not bad at all.

You could do much worse, even I feel like at Starbucks or something, or anywhere else, you could get a worse version. I got myself, well, Nick, how would you even... This is something that came up early today. What would you call this bad boy here? It's a donut.

Mitch is holding up an elongated donut. It's got some sort of cream on top of it. This is what some would call a long John. I've always known it as a bar. Emma is shaking her head at the mention of long John. I've never heard of that until this morning when my boyfriend said it. I've never heard someone call it a long John.

It blew my mind. I've never heard of the long John either. I've heard it. I don't... I think I'll call it a long boy or big boy. That would just be my nickname for it. I called it a chocolate stick donut. Yeah, stick.

Emma. Stick donut. Now that I've never heard. No, stick is right. Stick is the other one. That's what we call it, a chocolate stick. I think stick would be the other one. Yeah.

Wow, so New England, it's a stick. Emma, where's your boyfriend from? He's from Chicago, so he's Midwestern. Oh, okay. Yeah. So maybe it's a Midwest thing that my family absorbed. I don't know. That's what Wikipedia said that long John is commonly used

in the Midwestern United States. Got it. But this was basically like a... It was kind of like a long chocolate... A Boston cream stick, basically. Yes. Because there was cream inside this bad boy. So, I mean, close to an eclair donut or, you know, for people that...

Everyone knows a Boston cream donut. It's one of the most... Isn't that a common donut? It's a very well-known donut. Anyways, the donut was not good. I mean, you can just see in the picture. It's kind of roughed up anyways. A lot of the chocolate not staying on there.

And then, I got myself... The most disappointing one was a breakfast burrito eggs. Oh, boy. It was... Hold on. I got to find it. There it is. It was the half-pound egg, bacon, and cheese,

AMPM burrito, green chili. This was a green chili burrito. I... It just like... What else can I say? It just was bad. It was one that you could microwave in the store. Yeah.

I brought it home and I ate it. I got another burrito as well that I'll talk about later, but I ate it at home and I ate a microwave at home. It just like... It tasted like when you reheat eggs. You know what I'm saying? Like, leftover eggs. Like, no one reheats eggs and that's just kind of what...

It was too eggy and too like... Like, old egg tasting. And there wasn't like enough cheese. It just was... It's a bummer. It was just... It was not good. So, the AM side had kind of a rough showing.

The doughnut wasn't terrible either. There were bites of it that were okay, but that sausage, the breakfast sausage sandwich, was by far the winner for me. Wow. That's all I got as far as morning stuff. Sierra, how about you? Let's start on the morning side.

Yeah, yeah. My morning side pretty light. I mean, I got also the same, I think, as you got croissant sausage egg and cheese. Got it. So, and that was really delicious. Yeah, I was really impressed because I think it had the time stamp and I ate it well before it was expired or whatever.

And then, you know, and the Jimmy Dean thing, like I've had a lot of Jimmy Dean frozen sandwiches before, and that, you know, you get in a big box and then you just heat them up as you go. And this was like way better than that, I guess, because it was like bigger and more exciting. Granted, I don't know if I saw the cheese... I don't know if I found the cheese in mine.

Maybe it got left out, but maybe it was just absorbed into one of the other factors, which is possible. But it's so delicious. It could have gotten left out because there are... It is... There are people back there making the sandwiches, too, like a...

Human error. Unlike 7-Eleven, there is like... There seems to be kind of like a functioning kitchen in some way back there where they're making the sandwiches and putting them on the sliders. I see, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a little thing and then they put it in the thing. Yeah, I mean, fair enough, you know,

I know it's tough times, you know, I was gonna remember the cheese, but it was delicious still, so I can't complain. And also, I didn't notice until after that, it was like croissant on the outside. So it was kind of that like bun hybrid thing that I... Yes. That was pretty delicious.

So yeah, big fan. And then the... And then for a drink I got, you know, so there was... So because of all the COVID precautions, things seemed pretty safe, but they wanted you to like ask for a cup if you wanted to get coffee right.

And I just... Human interaction for me these days, a little tough. So I decided to defect to the fridge and I got... I'm a big Yerba mate girl. Love me some canned Yerba mate. So I got a passion fruit Yerba mate. Wow.

Which was delicious. And that provides the caffeine that, you know, high voltage would also provide, I'm assuming. But yeah, I didn't go for the coffee, unfortunately. But I think there was also... Yeah, just kind of... I think it was available, but I swerved.

So yeah, and that's all I got for breakfast. Okay, cool. Well, let's pivot to the PM. Let's pivot to the evening side. I'll start when I got the Tapatio dog. And you know I'm something of a heat seeker. I like spicy foods. Wow.

So this had like a Tapatio quality to it. I guess it was sort of a coating or a baste, marinade perhaps. And I added... I took some packets of mustard and added that to it and then put some jalapeños on that bad boy. So it was decently spicy. I thought this was a good hot dog.

Good snap to it. Good snap to it. I was just like, this is completely better than it needs to be for something from a convenience store. I was very content with that dog and with the... The bun was maybe a little stale, but I expected that. I got a jumbo chocolate chunk cookie. Again, the sweet side disappointed.

It just didn't live up to the savory side. And I think just it's the kind of thing with these sorts of goods, these sorts of baked goods. If it's less fresh, it's a lot more apparent with a sweet treat. And that's definitely how this cookie felt. You know, big chunks of... It lived up to the chocolate chunk side of things. It's a big chunks in there, but I didn't love it.

I also got the Jeremy Limade freeze, which I sent this picture to you, Mitch, and you, Emma, of the freeze at the time I got it. It had a very odd hue to it. It was brown. It was like a brown color to it. And I thought I had the wrong one maybe because there was also a Coke one.

Or maybe they have Pepsi there. I don't fucking know. They have some Cola one, but it was not the Cola one. It tasted like cherry Limade, just like the color was very unappealing. That said, you know, it was okay. I just would have rather,

instead of the cherry and citrus, I would have rather just had a Coke one. I would have rather had something that is more... that I'm more used to. I mean, it's just... Yeah, I think, again, you eat with your eyes, and the fact that it just, like, looks so off really made it a little bit less appealing,

especially something of a treat. Mitch, what did you get for the PM side? Well, I got quite a bit. Nick, I also had a Slurpee mishap. Look, 7-Eleven, your Slurpee crown is secure because I got myself a Cherry Vanilla Coca-Cola Slurpee. Well, let's be clear. Slurpee is the branding of 7-Eleven.

Sorry, freeze. This is a freeze here, yes. A Cherry Vanilla Coca-Cola freeze. It just came out, like, sludge. Remember, like, here's a picture of it. It just was, like, thick and kind of looked like shit. It looked like a... Yeah, that's not great.

It looked like smooth dog shit, is the best way I could kind of describe it. I mean, I could maybe think of something better than smooth dog shit, but it just looked like very... That paints a picture. Smooth, smooth, like a... like, glistening smooth dog... and it was very dark.

I even wondered if... because the contents of the freeze, the mixture in there looked... it looked like not frozen enough. You know how you can look at it and you're like, oh, it looks a little too liquidy or something. And I think that was the issue. It was really bad.

A huge let down to start off because that's one of the first things I had. Nick, then I had something that doesn't even count because it's not... Well, not that it doesn't count, but it's... because anything counts, but it's a... it's not from A.M.P.M. specifically, but...

I had myself a tornado. Or tornadoes. Wow. Have you heard of a tornado? No. So this is... I mean, I've heard of a tornado, the weather phenomenon. So it's from Ruez Foods.

Okay. And I had myself... I had to find it on here because I just didn't even say anything on it, but I think I had a cheesy pepper jack tornado. And it was good as hell. What is it exactly? It's just basically like a stick,

like a cheese roll-up, basically. Okay. Here, I'll show you a picture of it. You might have like a fried cheese... Yeah, okay. The outside is like... It's like a... What a bakery stick or close to it.

You know what I mean? Like it's like a... Like a big mozzarella stick kind of. Kind of, yeah, but the outside is like bread-y. It's like a bread. Yes. And then the inside is cheese. But I had a tornado.

I thought it was fantastic. I've never had a tornado before. I really liked the tornado. Wow. I thought it was great. Besides that, I had... But does it count? It's not really AMPM,

but they're serving it there, so I don't know. And then I had a big spicy chicken filet croissant. Nick, I'm a spicy chicken fan. Yes. And they have condiments out. I got myself like some ketchup and pickles and mayo and relish and stuff. And I really only used the pickles on this. And guess what?

It wasn't bad. The spicy chicken sandwich croissant, it was pretty good. There you go. With the pickles on there. I mean, like, it was that sort of thing of... I lived across from a 7-Eleven for forever when I first moved to LA. And going over there and getting like... Well, like I said, nachos and hot dogs, it's like,

oh, this is kind of gross, but I'm drunk or whatever and I'll eat it. Who cares? This is a lot better than a lot of the choices you'll get in 7-Eleven. This spicy chicken sandwich. Wow. I was impressed. And then I got a cheeseburger because I wanted to get a hot dog because I hear the hot dogs are good and I could not get a hot dog.

So I just got a cheeseburger. The cheeseburger, look, the cheeseburger actually wasn't terrible. Surprisingly, it was not terrible. But it just had that lunchroom gas station cheeseburger taste. You know, like, it's like a wet burger taste. It's a very specific burger taste. Yeah. Of like a cafeteria or a gas station burger.

It's well done, obviously, because they cook them to hell. Yes. But it's like a very specific taste. I remember, because I used to get to AMPM burgers when I was a kid. Yeah. And so it's been 20 years, but I remember them being like spongy and very thin patties. I'm not sure if they're the same these days if they've upped their game at all,

but I remember them being just like a moist little, you know, sock of food. Yeah. They're still pretty thin, but not terrible. I mean, like, surprisingly, like anywhere else, I would, like, I would not want to even eat a 7-Eleven burger, you know what I mean? Right. Like, that's the difference. And I love 7-Eleven.

I'm not trying to be mean to 7-Eleven. I do love 7-Eleven. And then why is the thing that won it over for me, the thing that won the whole, the thing that won me over the most, I mean, I guess I'm just saying it right now, that for me, night won the day because I'm saying it right now. Wow. And I'll say it again, but it's a thing you didn't like. It was the chocolate chunk cookies.

Oh, maybe you got a better one. They were fantastic. They were soft and delicious. And I thought they were great. Like, eating them, I was like, if someone told me these were from a fancier place and not like, if not, I would never believe that they were gas station cookies. They were, they were great. I think we just got, we just much as they got in a fresher batch.

I think that was probably at, I bet if we examined the timestamps, we could find the difference right there. Yeah, no, they were, they were soft and fantastic. I thought they were great. Sierra, what did you get for the PM side of things? Yes. Oh, so I'm excited. I have, I got something different.

I got the corn dog. Wow. From, yeah. And it was, you know, it wasn't as good as, it wasn't very good actually. Well, okay. You know, and then I added mustard as you do. I just, hmm, I don't know. I guess, I guess, you know, corn dogs are hard and, and you know,

I kind of like when it's maybe more like corn taste on the outside and then distinct hot dog in the middle, but this was sort of just like one, one, I mean, visually it was two separate things, corn outside, dog middle. But I feel like, you know, you kind of just ate the whole thing and they kind of were just kind of like trading molecules. Like it was all very much one entity. Um, so yeah, so it was okay, but you know, it wasn't the best, but yeah, you got, you got, you got like a, you got like a Brundle, you got

like a Brundle fly version of the corn dog. Sure. Yes. It was kind of, it was, the genes were mixed up. Yeah. Yeah. Hot dog and corn. A lot happens.

Went through a teleporter at the same time. There was an accident. Oh yeah. It's a lot can happen in that little heat keeping bag or whatever that is. Sierra, I have to ask, did the corn dog drag a shotgun to its mouth and shoot itself? Kill me and my pain. I mean, you know, I, I liked it.

Honestly, this is, this is a little sad that I didn't fully finish it. So I kind of just left it there to die slowly. Um, sorry about that. That's a bad corn dog. If you can't finish a corn dog, that's a bad corn dog. Yeah. It was, it was rough. And it was a big one, you know, it wasn't, it, yeah, but still, yeah,

you're right. Bad corn dog. Um, so yeah, not great. Um, and yeah, you know, I, I went over to the, uh, the freeze machine. Unfortunately it was out of order when I was there. So that was too bad. You know, what I have gotten, I don't know. I like to, I like, you know, a woman's right to choose, right?

You like to have the option. So whether that's federally or in the ampm, I, that's what I'm here for. So yeah, I think I, You brought it back around in the most surprising way. Thank you. Yeah. You know, um, just, yeah, when you least expect it, it'll hit you in, uh, ampium talk, I guess.

Um, so here we are. Um, but yeah, unfortunately it was out of order. That's all right. Um, but yeah, I did the thing where unfortunately, yeah, I, I realized now I'm kind of, I was, I was so excited to be in a store. And so I bought a lot of gas station goodies. So I got, um, you know, hot, hot Cheetos had to do it. Um, I got your classic slim gym, big slim gym kid here.

Uh, my high school friends, you'd call me that in high school. Um, and then I got a nerd's rope, which is something that I've been searching for for a very long time. So though they're not ampm specific, it was quite a delight. So I, I thank you both for sending me on that path because I have been searching for a nerd's rope and it's not, I don't think it's at CVS. And I just haven't seen it in a while. Well, which brings up, which brings up a good point.

By the way, what, what was your nickname? It was the slim gym. Oh, they, they just called it. They just knew that I ate the slim gyms when I was in extra mile. So yeah, they were like, yeah, you're, we can call you slim gym because that's what you're consuming right now. I was called the gym. Cato.

Yeah. And I was, and I was the Dorito kid. We could, we could make a Western together. Wow. Slim gym in the Dorito kid. Slim gym in the Dorito kid. Wow. It's going to be beautiful.

Sunsets over the 7-Eleven. Which brings me to a point though. This brings up a good point. The snack selection here, which you've got to take into consideration when you go to a place like this. Ampm does have a good selection of snacks. I was browsing. There was, there was some interesting chips, some good candy bars,

some things that you don't usually, that you, you won't find in like a regular gas station. Yes. Convenience store. So it was the, the, the, the selection was, the selection was decent. And honestly, a couple of things that I saw in there that you don't even see at a 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven does have a lot of good, weird things though.

It just depends on the one you go to. Yeah. It certainly, certainly things to take into consideration as we divulge our fork scores, which we will get to right after this break. Wow. Welcome back to Doe Boys. We are with Sierra Cato as we're discussing Ampm

for this week's edition of Rock Around the Clock Doberfest. And it is time for our fork scores. Call up by its right name. It's rightful name. Rotkadeba. As we were discussing Rotkadeba. So here's how this will work. We'll each go around, give it a,

give a summation of our thoughts on Ampm and end that by giving it a fork score first from zero to five forks. And then finally declaring what won the day, the AM side or PM regarding Ampm. Sierra, you are our guest. We will begin with you. Oh, wow.

What an honor. Yeah. I mean, Ampm, you know, I, I think overall like, it's a tough, it's a tough time right now. So I'm trying to keep that into account, you know, there's like, sure, the, the freeze machine was down and that doesn't, it didn't happen in your guys's. So clearly, you know, statistically it's low,

but that was unfortunate. But yet the breakfast sandwich was so good. I just, I think, you know, and it's a tough, it's a tough thing to do. They got to operate around the clock. So, you know, you got to factor that into the algorithm. So I would say, you know, probably, uh, yeah, maybe like, ooh, are we allowed to do half scores?

That's probably. Yes. Okay. No, it's 100% allowed. Okay. Exciting. Okay. Then I would probably say, you know,

taking into account that I really love that breakfast sandwich and they were, they have a great snack selection. And the downsides being, you know, certain things weren't operating and, you know, the corn dog was a mutant demon. Um, then I'd probably say maybe 3.5 forks. Wow. Three forks, two tines from Sierra Cato.

Wow. Very good score. And what won the day, AM or PM? Right. Definitely AM for me because of the sand. Wow. Yeah. That sand goes a long way.

Nick didn't tell you this, but, um, you have to, for AM you have to go, and for PM you have to do a wolf song. I forgot about this. Oh, yeah. I got it. And do we do them right after our scores or do we come back and do them?

I think we do them right after our scores. Really? We didn't come around and do them? Well, you mean come back at the end? No, I'm saying after we gave our fork scores and then gave them, but maybe, maybe we do just do them after them. I forget. I think we do it right afterwards.

Hmm. Okay. I mean, it's too late now. It's how it's happening now. Sierra, this is Mitch just bullying you into doing a rooster sound. Okay. So just do it so we can get on with the show, please. Oh, God.

I got it. Cock-a-doodle-doo. All right. Thank you very much. Anytime. Well, I'm kind of upset because you just kind of said it and didn't. Oh, okay. All right.

There we go. I know. Wow. Yeah. Sorry. It was my bad. My bad. I am happy now.

Um. Thanks. Look, we got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it. We got it.

We got to write these places. Woof. Went on repeat there. Skipping for a second. Like a CD. We get to know what CDs are anymore? Probably not. They're plugged.

I mean, if you're a Zoomer, do you have any idea what a CD is? It's all digital with kids these days. They don't, they, they know maybe know an MP3 but a CD. Discman, what is that in the Marvel universe? Hey, I'll trade you picking my ass for the latest MP3. You sick, fucks. The latest MP3s, that's what they like, Nick. It's what they like.

We're, we're so old now that like us joking about being old, like people are like, what, what are they, what are they even talking about? MP3, we're on MP5. You got to think, look, we always talk about what is this place trying to do? What is AAMP trying to do? Yes. And for me, I'm specifically thinking what's the score I can give that won't get Tumgis mad and have him come after me?

Which you will. Which I think that if you go too low, Tum, Tumgis is going to get you. And they give you go too low, Tumgis is going to come for you. He's like Candy Man. He is. He is. He is a Candy Man. It's true.

So what are they trying to do? Look, is a cheeseburger there good? No, it's not. You know what I mean? But comparatively, is it something that if I ate when I'm, when I've had a few drinks and that I'm at AAMPM and it's, I'm walking by and it's open and I, and I get a cheeseburger there, is that not, is that going to scratch that itch? Yes, it is.

And what are they trying to be? They're trying to be a place that has better than average gas station food, I think, for people who are in a rush or on the go. And you could do much worse than that spicy chicken sandwich. You know what? Why is there was another thing that I didn't, I didn't talk about the first picture in my phone. Every time I open up a picture is my, it's the, it's hair for my haircut today.

Wow. It looks like a wig on the floor. It does. It's a piece of you. And so the thing, the thing that, first of all, I'm going to say this before I get my four score, like I said, night, Wednesday day, the wolf gets it. See Sierra, if I went, if I said howl, that's what you did the first time, it was fucked up.

So ashamed. God, I'm so sorry. Don't shame our guests. Sorry. Sorry. No, it was, it was, look, I'm an asshole, but look, I got these two burritos. Like I said, I got the half pound egg, bacon and cheese burrito. And I got the half pound beef and potato, the half pound beef and potato.

I didn't talk about this was good. It was good. It was good as hell. It was surprisingly good. And for me, that's why night wins the day. Like wow, that, that, that Jimmy Dean's breakfast sandwich was good. I mean, how much was that of that was Jimmy Dean's and also just with everything else that I got, it just, it just night outperformed it.

That being said, I like Tungus. I like the idea of an AMPM because like you need it in some small towns, you need a place like that. You need to seven, you need seven elevens. You need these convenience stores to be open 24 hours and to be able to grab a bike to eat or whatever like that late at night sometimes. And I think that they do a pretty good job with it, Nick. I think that it's, it's, it's, it's not the best food and it's going to get a higher

fork rating than some places that probably a people are going to be like, but that has better food. But it's the scale, Nick. Yes. It all comes back to the scale. I'm going three forks. Wow. Um, three forks, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's doing a good, it's doing an okay job.

That spicy chicken sandwich is decent. If I'm in some sort of situation where I need to get food at a gas station. I'm not, you could do way, way, way, way worse. That's all I'm saying. It's true. Uh, I will say, and I think you're, you, you both make good points and I think I'm on the same page with both of you. In fact, I am going to be, we're going to be, I'm going to be in the same general area.

We're going to be ballpark buds on this one because I think we all had similar experiences and have similar takeaways. Yeah. I didn't mention as much that I had more of a connection to ampm in my youth because there was one by my friend John's house. We would walk there all the time, uh, yeah, get their burgers and hot dogs regularly, get their freezes. So it was right by a donut shop that had a Mortal Kombat arcade machine, which was fun

to stop by and play. Um, so, you know, I have a lot of memories tied to that, to that ampm and some fondness for its particular, uh, brand of trash. I will say quick, quick, quick, quick, quick interjection is a freeze at its best supposed to be like a slurpee? Is it just supposed to be a slurpee? And it's not as good as a slurpee. Wow.

It's like, it's, you know, it's, it's like I see tier. It's like not as good as an I see, honestly, like a freeze is just, it's just a whatever. Um, but it's, it's their approximation of it and their attempt at it. And it's, it's fine. And I think it can serve a purpose if you're a, you know what, I would mostly get there rather than the freeze. I'd get the big ass, the big ass fucking soda, just a giant soda. That's the thing I think you can't get as much anymore because of the, because of COVID,

but like just the gigantic fucking 32 ounce fountain soda that you can sip for like ever. That's like, that's like, that was, that was more of my go to as far as my current experience. Yes. 100%. Um, as far as my current, it's like, it's like the Yeti jug. It's like your jug with all soda, you know what, Wags, I'm bringing this bad boy down to the, uh, I'm bringing this bad boy down to seven 11 tomorrow and fill it up with Pepsi. Nice.

I think that's COVID compliant in my book. Yeah. 1200 calories of liquid sugar. Um, I, I think that for me, I think this place is, I'm going to split the difference between you. I'm going to say this is three forks, one time, three and a quarter forks for AMPM because I think everything is, I think that everything is solid. Like I mentioned, I think their savory side is superior.

Um, I think their drinks are fine. Uh, coffee was, was very solid, which is what I, what you want from a convenience store, at least what I want more than anything, a coffee and at some sort of bottle beverage is usually my go to these days, uh, whether that's a water or a Gatorade or something. So I will say that, uh, yeah, I think, I think three forks, one time. Now the question comes down to which is superior AM or PM. And I think here I got to go, Jesus and say that it's AM. Wow.

Yeah. It's the morning. Yeah. You're wrong. And now, now you're, first of all, you're wrong and now, now PM is never going to win. What do you mean? PM is never going to win. I know the places that are left and PM is better AM experience.

Can't deny that. Uh-huh. You can't, I, that, that, that, that the best bite I had was that double sausage and cheese croissant. Also, I'll say this, Mitch, it's your own twisted mind that made this into some sort of competition between you and me. It is like, I don't represent AM inherently and you represent PM and whoever's chains win more, it can declare some sort of superiority over the other.

No, it kind of does. It doesn't have to be that. You've chosen to make it a competition. It doesn't have to be. Well, the competition's over because I don't know if a night's going to win after this, but congratulations, your piece of shit. Yeah. Thanks.

Now that you said that, you spelled it out, out loud. I think it might just be a competition between you two, just the essence of both. Look, if night never wins, we're still going to play the night theme at some point because we have to because it's cool as hell. The night theme's cool. And the morning, the morning theme is nerdy and why you're like, anyways, I do, I actually do think you're wrong. I think that this place is not as good of a breakfast place.

Like the donut stick was not great and that there was one good morning breakfast thing I had there. Everything else was trash. Are we talking about your experience or mine? What are we doing here? What else was good besides that? What else did you like besides us? The coffee was better.

And you know, I'll take that apple turnover, that chunk cookie. Right, right. All right. I just think you're wrong. I think you're wrong in this one. Fine. You know what? Oh!

A PM wins. No, no, no. Congratulations. You get one on the board. Are you happy now? No. I don't want this bullshit. Wait.

I'll start. Well, Sierra changed it too. Okay. PM wins unanimously. Yeah. AM wins. Take my mutant corn dog to bed with you. AM wins.

It's fair. Look, but I do, I was just telling you that I do disagree. I do think, I genuinely think the PM side is better at AM PM. I was trying to have, I was trying to have a civil conversation about it after I yelled at you. Well, it's more of a civil war. Yeah. Well, the night time is the right time, baby.

I would say that the morning is not for morning, M-O-U-R-N-I-N-G. Wow. Okay. So you like night funerals? Yeah. Look, I got to say this. Right now, Tungus is smiling year to year, and it's because a millennial is eating out his ass.

And I got to say this. No. Millennials, if you're going to eat ass, eat Tungus's ass. Yeah. That's an ass made for eating. It's got like a couple of chip witches back there. Yeah. That's perfect.

And apparently he's okay with it. I mean, that's the vibe. It's consensual. That's what's important. He's happy with us today too. We made him, he's not going to come after anyone. We made him proud, I think. That's right.

Maybe I gave him his lowest score, so maybe you will come after me. Well we'll find out if Tungus is going to have his revenge at your abode there in Quincy, Massachusetts. Yeah. Perhaps you're not safe indoors. Run. Yeah. Perhaps we'll come for you when you least expected.

But now, it is time for a returning segment. I've got some chain restaurant trivia, and Mitch and Sierra must guess what's food fact and what's food fiction. Wow. Another edition of Fake Choose. I'm Nick Weigar. I'm Nick Weigar. I'm Nick Weigar, and I'm Nick Weigar.

All this and Andy Rooney tonight on Fake Choose. Now, hold on a second. Well first of all, for the people listening, they won't hear this because we had technical problems. You're on two sources right now. And so when you're saying, I'm Nick Weigar, and I'm Nick Nagar, it did sound like you were multiplying. Right.

Which is kind of cool because you were doubled up, but also, it's 60 minutes, and this is Fake Choose? Yeah. It's a 60 minutes theme as an intro for Fake Choose. Hey, so, hey man, I don't write this show, man. So here's how this works. You tell me if this is Fake Choose Convenience Store edition, in honor of AMPM, I'll give you a name.

You tell me if it's a Scandinavian convenience store chain, or a cat medication. Wow. So is this a Scandinavian convenience store or cat medicine, buzzing with your name, and let me know when I will keep score. Are you guys ready? Ready to go. All right. Let's begin.

First up, Aleppa. Mitch. Yes. Cat medication. Wrong. It's Convenience Store chain in Finland. Oh, shit. Next up, Narvesen.

Sierra. Yes. Cat. Cat medication. You are correct. It is a cat medicine. Next up, Batril. Batril.

Mitch. Yes. Cat medication. You are correct. Next up, Klynda Mycen. You know what Batril is? What? I give it to Wally.

It's for cat erectile dysfunction. Why does he need that? Okay. Self esteem. Just wants to get hard on occasion? Yeah. Yeah. Just making sure it's all working.

All right. Klynda Mycen. Sierra, are you buzzed in? Oh, sure. Cat medication. No, it is Convenience Store chain in Norway. Wow. That is...

Darn it. Sounds... That sounds like such a cat medication. That's insane. Yeah. You are tied up at one apiece. Wow. Next up, Presbyrn.

Mitch. Yes. I mean, it's got to be a cat medication. It is a Convenience Store in Sweden. Jesus Christ. Wow. All right. Next up.

What the fuck? Drontal. Sierra. Oh. Sierra. Convenience Store. Mitch. Mitch.

Drontal is a cat. Cat. I know this one. Well, you didn't buzz in. I can't give you a point for guessing the other one. I was trying to buzz in before you answered. Yeah, but you didn't get in on time. I know this.

I know that one. I knew it. What is Drontal? What is it used for? I don't know. I just know that the cats have gotten Drontal. It might be flea medication. Oh, wow.

Oh, you know what? It might be for... Yeah, I don't know. It's flea, like a rectile dysfunction medication for the fleas. Who knows? I know that. I know that Wally and Irma just recently got their... They got Drontal, and I don't know what it is.

Let's see. And are their fleas horny as hell now? Nice. All right, we've got three more, Mitch. Are you going to be buried in your phone? Looking up Drontal? Look, I'm on a Drontal kick right now. Hold on.

It's for parasite. So that was close. Wow. There you go. All right. Three left. Metopit. Sierra.

Yes. Convenience store. You are correct. It is a Finnish convenience store chain. Two left. Diltiasm. Mitch. Mm-hmm.

That's a cat medication. Mitch, you are correct. It is knotted up at two apiece. We have one left. There's no way that couldn't have been a cat medication. I don't have a cat. It is sort of not been. You said the same thing about Clinton Mison.

This is insane, though. This is like... This is like if you were like, Murphin. Is that a Star Wars name or a store in Norway? It's fucking crazy. It's look, these are a lot of coin flips. That's the name of the game sometimes. Neither of you are going to necessarily be experts in either of these categories.

Why would you be? I got cats. We're having fun, aren't we? We're having fun? I'm having fun. Thank you. Thank you for checking. You know what?

I got to win this for Wally and Irma. Let's hear the last one. Okay. One left. This is the final clue. Irma City. Mitch. Yes.

Wait, it's called Irma City? Irma City. Wow. Now you really got to win this. Convenience store. Mitch, you are correct. You have one fake choose. Irma City is a convenience store chain in Denmark.

Irma City? Irma City spelled the same way. For Irma. Irma? This is very dangerous what I'm doing right now. Mitch is turning his camera so that we can get a shot of Irma who is resting tranquilly on his childhood bed. And next to her is Wally with just a raging erection.

Yeah, the medication works. That was fake choose. Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. And today we have an email from Ben Woller. Ben writes, if you can only use two of a knife, spoon or fork for the rest of your life. Wow. Which would you choose?

PS, I feel like Mitch will try to bring up sporks to get around this question. But in this hypothetical, when you hold a spork, it magically transforms into a spoon or fork and loses its hybrid quality. Dammit. So one of the big three utensils, knife, spoon or fork. Any gut reaction here, Sierra? Sorry, you can only use one of them or two out of the three? I misread it.

If you can only use, thank you. If you can only use two of a knife fork. If you only use two of a knife, spoon or fork for the rest of your life, which would you choose? You're correct. Knife, spoon or fork. Interesting. Interesting.

Now I have a question for you. There's a big question I know that you're looking at, or am I? I'm not going to turn the computer back around. Yes. I just left his camera on his cat. And you can probably see more of my room than I want you to. But can you use a knife for other things besides eating? Can you use a knife to open up a package?

This seems to suggest this is what you get for the rest of your life. I'm going to say that, yes, if it's a non-food related thing. If it's a non-food related purpose, you can use some sort of blade, some sort of edged weapon to open up a package or what have you. Because if not, knife is the most important. Well, yes, knife is the most important. You've got to have a knife. But I'm assuming this does encompass food prep.

So without a knife, you're really screwed in terms of food prep. I mean, there's only so much you can do. See, all right, so if it was just for eating, if this is strictly eating. Yes. I'm going fork and spoon. Wow. And my reason for that is like soups are done, like a lot of things are done without the spoon.

And I don't want to eat fucking ice cream with the fork. I'm sorry. But then as far as like, I could tear some stuff apart. You know what I mean? Like if it's prepared that way, I could ask the chef to have it in slices. Things to get around with it, to get around it. But look, if you're saying it, if it's the prep thing, I think you're going to go, and I'm the spoon man, this breaks my heart.

Yeah. I think you're going to go knife and fork. I think it's just this motherfucker trying to make me say no to spoons. I mean, you know, it's, I think there's a case to be made for any real, any combo here. Sierra, what do you think? You get two of these three. Right, right. Yeah, I might, I might, because yeah, for me, I think I could probably eat ice cream

with a knife. You know, you could just kind of like scoop it out with that blade. And I think the, you know, soups, I could just drink it straight from the bowl. I'm okay with that, you know? Yeah. And then I think then the fork and knife, you know, that's pretty important stuff. I mean, yeah, it's definitely, I'm sad because I like a big spoon, especially even for cooking, right?

Like, I don't know how do we measure stuff now, but I mean, I don't really measure stuff anyway, to be honest. I don't have the patience. So it's, it's fine. I think it'd be fork and knife for me. Wow, fork and knife. Wigs, what about you? Here's what I'll say.

The fork is my most used utensil. But if one gotta go, a spoon can do everything a fork can do. Wow. And also do spoon related tasks. Like, I can, even if I'm eating something like a steak, I can scoop up a steak piece with my spoon, or I can stab it with my knife. Hey, Wigs, I love you for it. You're a weirdo.

The hardest thing probably to eat is salad, right? Salad becomes very cumbersome to try to eat with a spoon. And I do have a lot of salad, so that's difficult. But I think on balance, I think knife and spoon, knife, I think you gotta have. And spoon, I think, is more versatile. The fork is inherently just a little bit more specialized, you know? Wow. It's just for solid foods.

And I think, you know, I eat enough stews and soups and what have you. Pasta dishes, a spoon absolutely will get the job done better than a fork sometime. So I think I'm going knife and spoon. I think I'm a knifey, spoonie guy. Knifey, spoonie. Knifey, spoonie. Yeah. Spoonie knife.

Well, we can all agree a spoon is more fun than a fork. I mean, I think so, you know, although we do use fork scores on the show. So, you know, a fork does have its presence and it's very useful in terms of delineating, you know, like how much, how, what portion of a fork we're using, you know, to gauge something. Why? Because if you had to get rid of a knife or the knife, who would you get rid of? Who would you get rid of? We're talking about our friend, Elana Johnston, the knife.

We love the knife here at the Dough Boys. We keep the knife around. Yeah, we keep the knife around. I agree. I agree. Here's what I'll say. I'm interested in what everyone else has to say out there. What your perspective is on this question from Ben.

Are you going to eat salad with a spoon like this freak or are you going to choose a fork? Like, I think 99% of the world will do. We're going to find out hashtag utensils, spelled Y-O-U, utensils, hashtag utensils. Let us know which of those two, one's got to go, knife, spoon, fork, which two do you keep on your team? Also hashtag Grovlox Mitch. Put Grovlox in Mitch's mentions. No, that's no.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at Dough Boys podcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830-463-6844 or to get the Dough Boys double our weekly bonus episode. Join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash Dough Boys. Sierra Cuto, thank you so much for being here. What a treat. What a delight. Thank you.

Oh my gosh. Such an honor to be here. I also have one final thing on that fork situation. I just realized, you know, when I don't have a fork sometimes I use two knives as chopsticks. So you can always do that if you're going to force. I think I would still keep the fork, but I'm just, you know, I'm throwing it out there. It doubles your chances to stab yourself, but, you know, it is, it's possible if you want to eat your salad with two knives.

That's all. You come upon Slim Jim and a saloon. That's what you're doing to establish you're a badass. Right, right, right. Don't mess with this one. She's got two knives. Then the Dorito kid comes in and blows everything, I'm sure. Sierra, thank you for being here.

Anything you'd like to plug in this time? Oh man. I mean, not, not, not much. Just, uh, you know, follow me on, on Instagram and Twitter at, at Sierra Kato K A T O W and watch our fun show earth today that Nick was a champion on. And also every time I like post a picture of, of Nick Weiger on my Instagram, somebody comments about Weiger, you know, he's there. He, you're, you're the go-to man.

Everybody's like, Oh wow. Nice web pants or something. Right. You're wearing a delightful sweatpants on our last day when we took a picture. So anyway, that's a long walk to watch earth to Ned on Disney. Comments like you shouldn't work with that guy, et cetera. Yeah. You know, just your sweatpants really is going for him.

Yeah. Thank you, Sierra. Very stylish. No, I'm being genuine. They were like hot pants, you know. Hey, I'll take it. It's all I got going for me. And hey, Mitch, that rat kebada will wrap up for this week.

That'll do it for another episode. Wow. They'll do it for another edition of Doe Boys until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. On the next Doe Boys Double, Rock Around the Clock Doberfest continues with a topical edition of Doe Boys Pilot Program.

Mary Sasson joins to watch and review the pilot for 50s throwback sitcom, Happy Days. Does the show that gave birth to the phrase jump the shark itself jump the shark from the jump? We'll find out. Hey. Get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Sources for this week's intro are available in the episode description.