Doughboys - Sizzler with Marisa Pinson

Episode Date: June 15, 2017

Writer and comedian Marisa Pinson (Angie Tribeca, Don’t Trust the B-) joins the ‘boys to review Sizzler, the favorite chain restaurant of her SoCal childhood, and to discuss the recent addition of seafood to her vegetarian diet. Marisa, Mitch, and Wiger evaluate the new hip-hop themed potato chips Rap Snacks in another edition of Chips Inhale: Res-chew Rangers.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists, and will persist. Skepticism about the expansion of the American military is practically a third rail in a contemporary politics, yet those words are spoken by a U.S. president and a conservative Republican and retired general at that. Dwight D. Eisenhower coined the phrase military-industrial complex in his ominous speech upon leaving office after two terms in the White House from 1953 to 1961.

Bookended by the War of Torn 1940s and the turbulent 1960s, the historical import of the 50s is often downplayed, but the decades saw the intensification of the Cold War with the Soviet Union, a devastating war with Korea, the landmark civil rights decision Brown v. Board of Education, and the admission of the two non-contiguous U.S. states, Alaska and Hawaii. And in 1958, it witnessed the establishment of a family steakhouse in Culver City, California, a SoCal town that underwent economic expansion during and after World War II as the site of Howard Hughes' aircraft plant.

The eatery delivered a restaurant-quality sit-down experience at prices competitive with drive-in hamburger joints, partly by limiting weight staff via counter-ordering and a self-service buffet. It expanded across the U.S. and later to Australia and Asia in subsequent decades. However, its main hook, the all-you-can-eat salad bar, would come to be its downfall, as customers would learn to forego the higher-margin entrees entirely and treat the salad bar as a meal in and of itself. In 1996, the chain was forced to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, closing

65% of its restaurants in the process and re-centering its operations in the western U.S. Still, it continues to draw working-class families as a budget-friendly dine-in chain. The year Eisenhower delivered his prescient farewell address, their steak dinner cost $1. An inflation-adjusted defense spending was $1 trillion lower than it is today. This week on Doe Boys, Sizzler. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants' reproduction of FeralAudio.com.

I'm Nick Weigar, alongside my co-host, John Quincy Sadams, the Spoonman Mike Mitchell. I like that. A little tribute to your hometown. I love it. A tribute to my hometown. I like roasts like that. That's good nature. And not a fucking fat joke.

Right. I like that. It's a nice little twist. Hey, Matt Wood came up with that one. Good job, Matt Wood. Roastspoonman at gmail.com is the address you want to use if you want to send a little insult for Mitch at the top of the show, and hey, kiss something creative and fun, like John Quincy Sadams, and Mitchell, be happy, he'll start the show in a good mood.

Fuck you. I'm the hero of this podcast, Mitch will be happy finally, shut the fuck up. The Spoon Nation. I'm embarrassed in front of our guests for doing that, and here's a little drop. You don't have a girlfriend? I have a wife. We've been married five years. Going on six.

She'd probably reject you at the dance, too, I'm sure. You got somebody? No. Hey, let's go. Today is a great, great, great day for you. That's fun. So now that I could make out is Spanish, so I'm sorry, I assume that that was a Spanish language song.

Yes. That was from a... Possibly Portuguese. Christopher Hustad Menzoni. My name is Christopher. Oh, hey, Mitch, my name is Christopher from Norway. It's a short drop. Very cool.

Good job, Christopher. Hey, you know what? Let's start the show by playing some things, like I'll read an insult, you'll play a drop, and then we'll just compliment the people who did it. Little positivity. He did a good job. He did do a good job. Mitch, we got the AC going.

We got the AC going. We had like a small... Our guests, I guess you could call it a tiff. A spat. A spat between the two of us. A little quibble. Where you were saying, we can turn it off, and I was saying, let's turn it on. People online have told us to just turn the AC on, and I said to you that we've literally

done bad shows when it's gotten too hot. And so there's no... No, I'm not arguing with you on that. The whole thing is that it's like, I don't know if the dull hum of the AC is so omnipresent in people's listening experiences where it takes them out of it, because sometimes you just hear like a bad audio recording, because I can hear it like the whole time we're talking right now. Like a reverberating like, it's like, it sounds like we're on a spaceship.

I don't think that that's the AC. No, it is the AC, because Dustin turned it off and it turned off in our head. No, that was the whole thing. That's why we tried to turn it off earlier. It's confusing because like another machine is trying to talk to you. Okay. No, I mean, like it's just like it's so, Dustin might, Dustin's going to do some audio wizardry. I think you might be suppressing it anyway, so it might not be.

He's waving a wand over the... Interesting. Axio... Axiocortis? Yeah. Hmm. I don't know any Harry Potter things. What do you say?

Hey, what did he do? He did some pretty cool. He did a little tweak. Yeah. What are you doing? He... Oh, I see. He made a little adjustment and now you sound cool.

He made a little adjustment. Now it sounds cool. You're right. Yeah. That's kind of amazing what he did. What the hell? I thought it was something you were doing, but no, it's like a little bit of audio wizardry. Yeah.

Yeah, baby. Yeah. How do you sound, Nick? Oh, I sound pretty good. Yeah, these adjustments he's making. Man, I don't know what they're all about, but they are out of sight. I think it's time for us to introduce our guest. All right.

Well, let's decool our voices so it's not too disorienting. So that she doesn't leave. She's about to walk out. This is her first time being on the show and she's actually funny. She's great. A writer for Don't Trust the Bee in Apartment 23 and Angie Trebekka, our friend Marissa Pinson is here. I'm Marissa.

Oh, it is such an honor to be here. That's not true. I feel like I'm a make-a-wish kid. This is like... It's such a thrill. It's such an honor. I'm at the glass table. I can see the fireplace with the quad portrait of Mitch, the many jugs of water, the clear

plastic bins. It's quite a thrill. Thank you so much for having me. Do you have just a mirror propped up against the wall there, too? What is that? There's a mirror propped up against the wall, which is now covered in cat paw prints because they put their hands up on it, which is very cute. But yeah.

It's a big mirror. No, but there's this mirror. I'm talking about behind you. There's this mirror behind us. No, no. I was talking about that one behind us, too. Okay. And then this mirror...

Is this just part of the wall? Where's this? This is part of the... This was in the house when I came here. Yeah, there's no way you put that up yourself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's one single paw print on that one from Wally behind Weigher's head. You can just always see it.

It's a giant mirror. You don't really ever see it in the photos we take in here, but it is a Mario 64, like picture-sized. The ones that he jumps into. I've jumped into it before. That's what Wally was trying to do. I thought he didn't make it. Yeah, cute.

Yeah, it almost fell one time, and then since then it's been fine. The other one on the ground scares me because the cats, I'm always afraid, I should probably just get rid of it. It's a very heavy mirror, and I brought it from the old place, like this glass table I just brought from the old place because it was going to be thrown away, but I should buy new stuff. I should be an adult to buy new things. My couches, like I'm in the process of getting new couches.

You're looking for that? The couch hunt is on? The couch hunt is on, and it's going all right. It's been a busy couple of weeks, so I don't know. I don't know when I'll get it. I got to buy new stuff. Should I just throw that mirror away? How do you get rid of a mirror?

Do you have any idea? Should we do a big raffle for the mirror? You think someone will want to get this? Yeah, maybe someone can get my mirror. Yeah, someone will want the mirror. It's such a pain in the ass to ship, though, wouldn't it? Yeah, it will cost us $1,000. Ship is just a million pieces.

Just imagine. Break it with a hammer. Yeah. Marissa, you and your husband are uncannily handy. You do a lot of home remodeling. We're recent homeowners, so we bought a shithole two years ago, and so we've been trying ourselves as much as we can do, trying to fix it up and make it nice. We have learned our limitations.

We learned electrical stuff. You absolutely hire someone to do that. You can't risk lighting your house on fire. Plumbing, we have our bathroom floor that had the stick-on-linoleum tiles on it, and I just got in my head that I wanted to get rid of them, so I started peeling them up when I was just sitting to pee, and then it became a problem. We had to deal with it before it was just covered in adhesive. Right.

Like a giant flytrap, basically? Yeah, like a giant flytrap, and so it kind of just became urgent to deal with it, and I had totally not anticipated how difficult this was going to be. We had to have our toilet removed to lay down a new flooring tile, and we didn't have a toilet for three days. That's crazy. I didn't really think it would take that long. I don't know what I was expecting, but I was going to Starbucks every morning to take

a shit and just peeing in the bathroom sink. I mean, it was a nightmare. It was horrible. That is, yeah, that is brutal. Where is the what in the fuck? Yeah, that's great. That is, that is, that is an, even with a roommate, I'm so happy to live alone now, but when I had a roommate, it was that sort of thing of like just the fact that someone

could be in the bathroom at some point sucks. Right. Oh my God, it causes you so much stress. It's so much stress. You just want that always open. Yeah. At least I do, a man who like- I know.

Feeling sick. Me too. Me too. I always want that. I always want that room open. We have two bathrooms in our apartment now, and it is great for two people because it's never an issue. It's, yeah, that is, that actually works out very nicely.

That seems to me like the height of luxury, like when you have two bathrooms and both people can be in the bathroom at the same time, like you've absolutely peaked. There's no reason why even your brother like, yeah, that seems like as good as it gets. Yeah. I'm like kind of like, we were like, oh, should we ever look at another place and it's like, I don't know. This is fine. Like this has, we have an extra bedroom and two bathrooms, just like that's more than

enough. I went over there and one of the restrooms had a piece of paper and I said, Wiger's whack-off space. So one is designated for that stuff. Mitch, you would never come over to my place. That is true. There's no way you'd ever make that drive. It's way too far.

I've never been in Nick's place. That is a hundred wrench. Even though you live right by an actor who I, who I've worked with, who I think is a great guy. Oh yeah. Should I not say who he is? No, I know what we're talking about. Yeah.

Yeah. Kiff's a good, Kiff's a great guy. Would you not live there anymore? I still live there. That's the place. Yeah. He's my upstairs neighbor. Yeah.

It was a Kiff a lot. I don't see why. Kiff is a great guy. Yeah. He's a great dude. Just coincidentally happened to be his downstairs neighbor. Hey, you know what? A very talented upstairs downstairs, Nick.

Oh, how about that? One of his podcasts. It's so positive. It's almost jarring. I feel really unsettled by it. It's the AC. Turn off that goddamn AC so we don't want to be in this genre. He's steamed?

Where is it? I got to say. He's like a sauna. You can like pour like spoonfuls of water on him and like steam him up. It's interesting. It's refreshing. The combo of you and your husband, Dave, you, that, you guys are a very, very, very funny couple.

Oh, this is just a couple compliment. Truly. That's that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a comedy power couple. It's very, very funny people. We're going to have Dave on the show real soon. Yeah. He's great. But so, okay.

So wait. Not only have you guys been married now at this point. Almost five years. Wow. Congrats. Four went together for like eight. But yeah, it's good. It's like, I recommend marriage.

You know, you recommend marriage. We're looking at me directly. Um, you know, I think you should skip dating and just go straight to marriage. I think you would make a great husband. That sounds, that sounds like a nightmare. I, I, I've known you. I think I, I feel like I knew you a hundred percent longer than Nick even. Oh yeah.

I'm probably like 10 years ago. Yeah. 10 years ago. Cause we were, um, you and I kind of have the, the, we share the, this funny thing of like, um, we were both like going to UCB as like comedy fans very early on. So I would see you like in line for stuff a lot and like, and then we would, we started doing improv and stuff together. Nick, you were actually kind of not established.

I mean, yeah, I guess established. You, you, you, you was a performer and you were on stage. Yeah. I remember the first time I saw Nick on stage, you were doing, uh, the most graphic pantomime of sucking a dick. I have still, maybe that has ever been performed in the history of the arts, like shaft work, testicle play. Do you remember?

There's no way you were there. Second question. Do you know you were on stage? This was backstage. I've, yeah, I've done that, I've done that move more than once. Yeah. It might be a go to, but I had, I had only seen it one time, so I was very impressed. I saw that and I thought, I got to get out of this place.

Yeah. Absolutely. I was saying this yesterday, I, in that sketch, pretty dad that we did on stage, Dave Ferguson puts a, puts in like an eight inch classic dong is what it's called through his pants and I suck on it. And like, I remember like, I get, like he put it, like he, like he put it so far down my throat that I was gagging and then I went, I went backstage and I saw lipstick smeared on it from my lips and I almost barred, just a terrible, why would anyone want to see this

in the audience? Yeah. Cause there's like, that's just a sex act before you're, you're putting, you're mouthing a sex toy. That's just a sexual act. Yeah. There's not really a comedic take on it at all. That's a lot of the stuff that happened at a UCB for like free at like one AM.

Yeah. It's just like watching people just like put dicks and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Put their wieners on stuff. Yeah. It doesn't happen as much anymore. No.

It's, it's, it's definitely, it's changed quite a bit. There's still like the filthy shows or whatever, but you're like, you could see a, you might see a teen, a teeness. He might see a teeness, a teeness, a teeness, if you will, or a boob or something like any, any random night at a late night show or something. Yeah. I never really liked like naughty comedy. Yeah.

I don't know. I feel, cause I have a few things that I've done that have been very blue that people like, but I don't, and I think people, some people like, I think I'm just like a raunch guy. It's like, like, oh, Wiger is raunchy. Which is kind of, yeah. Yeah. I'm not a horn dog.

I'm kind of a prude, but I just have a few things where I'm like, kind of like, oh, this is funny to be, to go this blue. It's funny because well, the birthday boys had a reputation as like clean, like people thought we were like a Christian sketch, right? Because we didn't do like random stuff, but I'm with you. I don't, I don't usually love crude humor too much because it's just like, oh, whatever. I mean, like I've seen Neil and Paul, two of the funniest guys on earth. They used to do, they used to do very, very funny.

Like if they did the dirtiest sketch, which they're, I don't even say that they are crude or whatever. No, they're not. They're definitely not. But they were just like, they, yeah, they, they over committed to stuff that was really over the top. That was so fun. Yeah.

But like, if you weren't seeing something that was like thought out or smart and it just was crude for being crude, you're like, yeah, to just say, like, I'll fuck a fish on stage, which happens. It is a direct pull from 2007. You were saying, you were saying a specific example for sure. Yeah. But I don't need to see that. I remember, I remember seeing you around in those days and then, and we probably like

the same thing. And then I saw you on stage. I'm like, this person's so fun. This person who like me was a fan was, was, was so funny. Thank you. And yeah, that was, that was the old early days. Look at us now. Look at us now.

We're in your apartment with your air conditioning, a giant mirror. We don't, we don't. Don't go near UCB anymore. If you don't, neither of us go near UCB as much. You're very funny. I know it's such a pleasure to spend time with you. I know. You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't see, I don't see as much anymore.

And that's, that is. That's what I miss about being kind of part of the comedy scene was getting to see all the friends. But I mean, as far as performing, you know, I, I don't, I feel like I kind of hung up my hat. Yeah. Me too. You're done with, you man, you guys were both so good.

Performers. God bless you. But I, I, it's just like, for me, I just like, what am I doing this? I'd like at one point I was like, why am I doing, why don't I get out of this? What am I doing this for? That's such a bummer because you're both so good. Well, that's, that's nice of you to say. I just like, for me, like, and I'm not sure how you feel, Barissa, but I, there was a

point where I just sort of like got the, I never felt like the urge to like, oh God, I got to perform. Like I've never, I never at any point in my life felt that urge, like I have to get out there. But then also I reached a point where the feedback loop of like, oh, this audience likes what I'm doing. And so I want to, you know, like I reached a point where that just sort of cut off for me.

And I was just like, I don't really care if they like this or not. Like I don't just don't give a shit. I don't get any sort of satisfaction. Has that happened with their boys yet? Yeah. That was like, that was like episode three. Yes. We were reviewed I hop with Alice and Augustine.

I completely checked out from that point. Wow. Good poll too. I mean, you are a machine. Exactly what episode three was, right? But I feel like Nick, I feel like this is one of the things, the few things you're passionate about. What?

Doughboys? I think you actually do. Do you think I'm passionate about Doughboys? I think there's, I think, I think you don't like to do a lot of stuff, but I think you actually like to do Doughboys. You think I like it? I don't know. Well, you're like a not, you're like a not leave the house person.

And so this is like a pursuit that you deem worthy of leaving the house. That's true. I mean, that's the highest praise. But he does come into another house, basically. That's true. Well, look, I'll get some caveats on the, on or anything. Right. I think that's fair to characterize me as, as a not leave the house guy, but I'm not

the same way. Like I feel like Mitch, you're more of a shut in. And I'm more of a, I'm more of a guy who just like, I like where I live. And so like, I'll go for, I go for a stroll every morning. I go, I get. Why don't you have to bring me down and say I was a shut in? I'm just trying to contrast because I think people think about like, we're both like eyes who stay inside and that's fair, but we're different kinds of inside guys.

Cause like, you know, me and my wife will go out, we got to restaurants quite a lot. We go probably more than average. I had two people close to me die within the last five years. You don't have to leave, you don't have to jump to that. I wasn't, but I'm telling you why I'm a shut in. Okay. That's fine. I wasn't trying to judge you.

I'm just trying to say. You don't have to jump to that. If you had a wife to go for strolls with. Yeah. If I had a wife who made me go out of the house, Nick, if you did not have a wife, you would be, you would. Oh, that's a good question. Right.

You would be in front of a TV screen with, and that would be the only like light you would see. Yeah. I guess pre wife, I was more of a guy who would blaze through a final fantasy in a long weekend. So yeah, I probably, that's true. That's fair. My wife is a, an influence in that regard.

I've always, I don't want to talk about the wife, that's like a Tim Allen sitcom way of referring, referring to my wife, Natalie, my lovely wife. I do love, I do love the house. I do love to be in the house. The thing that you always used to bring me out of the house and then I would never want to go home is just hanging with friends or whatever. Like you were saying that UCB poll or my friends back in Quincy or whatever. And then I would just like be with them and hanging out with them and I love to hang.

I always, I always loved it. I think, I do think of you as, as being a party boy. Sure. I'm a part. Yeah. I'm a bit, I was, especially back when, when you knew me well, I loved to hang out and hang out as long as I could. But maybe that is still within you.

I mean, it's, it's going to be a part of you forever. It's a part of me forever. And it, it, it is, it, it, it bumps me out to not have that outlet as much as I used to, I feel like. But also hanging out becomes a different thing as you get older. It does. It's like, we're like hanging out now is like, I'm so, I get so tired so early. Yeah.

I'm just like 10 o'clock. I'm just like, man, I'm ready for bed. You are a huge, you're a huge pussy. That's insane. But what I'm saying is like the old thing of like, oh, because you know, I went to some parties at the birthday boys house, the house where five of the seven members of the birthday boys lived at one time. Oh boy.

Those were the days. Those were the days. But that was like its own thing. Cause that was just like, it was, there were just, I don't think I've been in a situation since where there are just so many people in a house because it's just like, you reach a certain age and that's, you're not going to get together a hundred people to fucking hang out in your backyard. You know?

Those parties were fun. I mean, you would go home early then too. Yeah. I definitely went home early. But like less early. Yeah. 11. Were you married then though?

Yeah. Well, I was. Or you were. You were with Natalie. I went with Natalie for a long time. So yeah. We were married. Like we, we, uh, we've been married seven years now.

It'll be seven years in September, uh, but we've, but we were, we were dating for some years before that. So yeah, I was in a relationship. Well, that supports my theory that that, those kind of like the bar hangouts in the house parties, it's kind of just a way to get single people on the same room so that they can kind of like pair off and have sex. Yeah. Oh, that makes sense.

Yeah. Which I just always would witness. I would never. And that's why I was like, let's keep hanging up because it would just be me and like the other losers. Keep it going. All night long. Yeah.

And I would be, even those birthday boys parties, they would be like five in the morning like, yeah, who's partying? And it would be like me and the dorks who couldn't get a girl to talk to them and everyone else would be paired off. But they were, those parties, I think some of those birthday boys party like on the level of some of the funnest parties I ever had in my life, those were good times. They weren't. Classic hangs.

They were, they were like better than even some college part. I swear to God, they were very, they were fun. They were a fun time. You could make a movie. That was about one of those nights. Oh man. I just realized, I just realized how loserous this was. I was just trying to speak nicely of it like those parties were like some of the best.

I hate, I hate, I hate when like, I've like turned on that sort of thing like when forever I was like, whoa, like the SNL parties or whatever. And now I like don't think that that's cool at all. Nothing's cool anymore. Nothing is ever cool. Nothing is as cool as you want it to be. Nothing is as fun as you remember being. It's just, yeah.

Marissa, you're right. You're right. That's why you're smart and funny. You get it. Your cynicism is appropriate. So wait. So I go on. No, I just want to apologize.

Those parties were dorky. Yeah. That's the kind of thing like actual cool people would look at these parties and be like, what the fuck? And like leave immediately. A bunch of like sweaty people dancing like in a living room, somebody's like playing the drums with nobody else playing music. Yeah.

It's just like, it wasn't like a rager. I remember years ago, and I won't say who the actress was, but there was one of the, it was like a comedy party. It was a funnier die party. It was a funnier die party. And it was in the courtyard. And I was here for this. Yeah.

And there was a, at the time, very famous, very like hot actress, hot in the sense of like the eye of Sauron was on her from a Hollywood sense, you know, like it was just Lindsay Lohan. Okay. It was Lindsay Lohan. But this was like, this was like when she was very, very relevant, like, like off of mean girls, basically, right? And she walked into the party with her entourage and just looked around and then turned around

and left. Like so, like it was like, it was like so fast. But also I got to, I got to stand up for these dorky parties because like the cool parties are just as dorky. Like you're saying none of it is, none of it is cool. Everything's lame. But it was, that made me laugh so much. Right.

And I liked Lindsay Lohan more. Right. For coming and looking around and leaving. I was like, that's funny. Like, I wish I would do the same thing, but I can't. You have nowhere else to go. I have nowhere else to go. And I'm a loser here.

Yeah. Let's talk food a little bit. So Marissa, you're from out here. Am I correct about that? Yeah, I'm from San Juan Capistrano, California. So it's about an hour south of Los Angeles. It's kind of a San Diego adjacent. Yeah, it's San Diego adjacent.

I feel like I always, that's where I always hit traffic when I'm driving down to visit my brother. Yeah. On the five south. Oh boy. Yeah. Capistrano sounds like a meat. It does.

Hey, we're going to get some mozzanel and some Capistrano on that. Some percent. Gabagool. Gabagool. Yeah. Gabagool is, what, is for, is that for, it's like a, it's a fill in for something else. I don't know what it is.

Cap, is that Capicola? Capicola. They call it Gabagool. Yeah, you're right. It's so weird that sort of, because those are Italian guys, like the guys who say that are Italian guys, but then they say it in kind of like this weird, like not Italian, like this. It seems like they're making fun of their own, like, like, it feels like they're making

fun of their history. Yeah. Like they're so stereotypical that they're like, like it's self parody. Like as, I'm like, like my background is a Myrish or whatever. And if I was like, I want like, that's weird, that seems like that I'm making fun of it or something. Also that weird, like Brooklyn accent, like it's kind of like an Italian accent. It's such a weird, it's such a weird thing that mixes together.

What is your background as a California girl? I'm a, all Cali baby. You're okay. Oh my God. Surf sun, sand. Hell yeah. Corn dogs on the beach. You know, I'm nothing.

I'm just regular. Yeah. Yeah. I'm regular. I'm a big mix. I'm a big mix, but, but you know, I grew up, it's, it's in Orange County, which kind of has like a reputation for being like very white and snobby, but in the neighborhood I lived in, in San Juan Capistrano itself has like great Mexican food.

So I ate a lot of Mexican food growing up and, you know, it wasn't like the OC as you might think of it as being like very shishy. Yeah. I think that's the thing. And we've talked about this one there, buddy, Jordan Morris a little bit, who's from, who's also from Orange County. And I think people think of the, a lot of people's perception of Orange County comes from that show, the OC.

And there are like some super rich and also what was that Laguna, Laguna Beach show. There are some extraordinarily rich Republicans in Orange County, but there's also a lot of. Like in Atlanta. I mean, everywhere there's rich Republicans. Right. There's one sitting across from me right now. Wait a minute.

He's bragging about his two bathrooms. Hold on. Guest room. Hold on. I see the writing on the wall. Come on. No. Hillary Clinton was a bad candidate.

Wait a minute. Put words in my mouth. Oh, really? I'm putting words in your mouth? Look, here's what I was going to say. Look, Hillary Clinton was a bad candidate. Look, we can discuss that, but I, what I'd like to say is. Are you scared that I said that?

No, no, no. You're outing him as an email's truth. Here's what I was going to say. There are a lot of rich Republicans in Orange County, but I think what people forget about or what people are maybe not aware of is like the Orange County dirtbag culture, which you'll see a lot of if you're watching like bar rescue because they shoot a lot in Southern California. That's where I was. Yeah.

There's a lot of Orange County dirtbag bars where they're just like, it's basically if they, it's basically if just like rednecks were writing jet skis and surfing instead of, you know, writing ATVs and mudding, you know what I mean? It's exactly the same. Yeah. Like all of the guys who like went to my high school, they were really like hot and tan and kind of like sun bleached, but then you like look at their dads and like their noses are falling off from like melanoma.

Like everybody's just kind of like a dirtbag, like disgusting, like flip flops, like everybody, everybody's trashed. Yeah, you really, you're really into MMA and stop punk. Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Everybody's trashed. It's just a great. Everybody's trashed.

It's kind of sums up every community has like the super rich white people and then it has like its version of like the hillbillies or rednecks or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It sometimes gets, gets emitted in the profile of OC. So, so in your in, so you're growing up there, Mexican food, you mentioned, okay. So you just churned the AC off.

The AC has been turned off. Okay. So mark this at wherever, whatever timestamp we're at, I have like roughly 25 minutes and change. Maybe it's a little later than that because I started the clock a little late, but mark this timestamp, Mitch, switch the AC off. We'll see if the podcast switches. If there, if anything.

Yes. Will there be a hashtag? Mitch switch. I've been trying to get that one going for a while. I don't know if anyone likes it. Now, Nick. Anyways, moving on. Was Hillary Clinton a bad candidate?

Well, look, we, like that, we can have that discussion. I would, I would just, here would be what I say. I voted for Hillary. I do think that there are arguments to be made that there was a, that she had very high negative ratings for a nominee, as did Trump. And that may have suppressed turnout. So maybe that's a discussion that could be. Are you a Bernie bro?

I don't think I'd call myself a Bernie bro. In fact, I don't even like the people who were like, just like Bernie would have won that sort of declarative thing. Like I don't, I don't necessarily buy that because Trump was such a chaotic candidate that I don't think anyone could have run an effective campaign really against him. It's just that no one knew how to run against him because he's just so different than everyone. Marissa and I have closed our eyes and drawn open eyes on our eyelids. You prompted this.

You piece of shit. You timed this with the air conditioning going off, too. It doesn't seem like a really bad idea. It's heating up. It's, it's, it's already heated. We should all wear Heather Gray shirts and then track our pit stains as they get bigger and bigger, like with Sharpies and then see if that you can like find a correlation between the quality of the podcast.

Let me tell you, in high school, I could not wear gray. Yeah, me neither. Gray with the, the spit. And also I had my left pit was way swettier than my right pit. So like you'd see like a big sweat mark drooping down below. And then like my right pit was fine. It's funny now because if I'm sweaty and I have sweat stains like in my shirt, I don't give, I don't care at all.

Well, being a kid is just so embarrassing that like the idea of anybody knowing that you're sweating, like it's like enough to just cripple you. And then you have to keep your arms down because you don't want anyone to see the moisture and then they get sweatier and sweatier because really you need to air them out. I feel like I would be so nervous about my pits and even in my school was so hot in winter time that he would still be like a thing with pits. And then like I was also so afraid of my stomach rumbling.

Oh yeah. I was so I was afraid of like having to go to the bathroom. I never wanted to go to the bathroom in school. I've talked about that on here. But then I also wouldn't eat because I wouldn't want to go to the bathroom. So I wouldn't eat in the morning. So then my tummy would grumble and then like the class would like look at me and then like a puke would grow on my chin.

You would sprout out of my chin. Your first boner peeking through your shorts and it's shooting off. Seaman, but no first load first, my first, my first load. Yeah, everything about being a kid is so like I remember like it would be pouring down rain and the idea of bringing an umbrella to school would like my mom would be like, bring an umbrella. It's like it's rain.

It would be like torture to imagine like carrying an umbrella rain. You just look like such a pussy. Yes. A hundred. Right. I so awful. It is awful. And I've told this story on the podcast before, but like the thing that sums up

being like in my teens to me is being in my mom's car on the way to school and yelling and fighting with her and crying and also putting on her cover up to cover up my zits. Oh, man. That was like, I was like, it's peak teen. Across the board. A boy, a teenage boy covering his zits and crying and in fighting with his mom. Did you have to ask your mom for the makeup or did she volunteer it?

I was like, I need your, I need to like cover it up. Yeah, it was very, it was very embarrassing. That's horrible. Acne is no good. I feel like to this day, I've talked with some people who had acne in school and to this day. And you know what, I like, I remember there was like some bully kids who were like, I don't eat chocolate.

You shouldn't eat chocolate. Like we're trying to give you advice, right? You shouldn't be in chocolate, dude. But these are all the bullies would do that. They sound helpful. But also like that. Yeah, they were, they were like, hey, let's go easy on this kid. Hey, oh man, stop eating chocolate.

It's kind of hard enough. And I'm saying, I wasn't just like sitting there eating chocolate ever. Like this is him saying, like this is him, like giving this advice when I didn't want him to notice it. Do you think just a bully is anyone who says something that like you don't want to hear because because you can't park there. Yeah, fucking bully. I think this I think this particular bully like eventually became a Quincy cop

and and like left like like locked, he got drunk and left his key, his car running and left the keys in the car. Like I think he's an idiot. Right. Man, I'm afraid that this bully will hear this. I'm truly afraid he will still beat me up. So I don't want to I can guarantee he will never hear this. I feel like there's like two ties of bullying.

He's like, one is your bully in your game, which for me, I've said this before. NHL player Ryan Whitney is the only bully I've really ever had until my coworker at the Simpsons was also kind of my only other bully in life. And then the other people I feel like are just like idiots who are kind of like jackasses that say stuff and you're like, this sucks. Right. Yeah. Try to kind of say stuff to get a reaction, but they're not like, yeah. Yeah. I remember this this kid, Sean Cote.

He was making fun and he was making fun of me a lot. And then I was like, let's fight. And he was like a kid who was huge, like not like he just like big and muscular. And then like after school, he came up to me and was like, you got a problem? And like kids circled around us. And I was like, oh, man, I'm going to get into like a school fight. And I was like, you say you say shit about me all the time. And he and he was like, why don't you make me stop?

And he like pushed me. And then I said, can't you please just stop? And he laughed. Sean Cote laughed and then people kind of laughed. And then a teacher came by and I was like, hey, don't do that. They bring you up on their shoulders. They bring you up on their shoulders. And then I became good friends with Sean Cote and we hang out for a long time.

And you found a little. You found a little hack there. Yeah. It was a couple of years later that we became good friends. Right. But yeah, we became friendly. But I feel like it's so much of people just saying dumb stuff. You're just like, not necessarily bullying. Nick, how about you? Was it tough for you being a member of the trench coat mafia?

OK, all right. Here's what I would say about the trench coat mafia. Do you still own your trench coat? Here's what I'd say about the trench coat mafia. Those were bullied kids. I read a book about Columbine. Those were bullied kids. And they actually were not affiliated with the guys who with with Dylan.

Yes, who did the shooting. And Dylan, who's the other guy? I'm forgetting his name, Eric. Yeah, dude, with Dylan and Eric. Dylan's people and Eric Harris. Those guys happened to wear trench coats so they could have all their ammunition and munitions on the day of the attack. So they got conflated with the trench coat mafia,

which was a separate clique that did not include them. And then as a result, the trench coat mafia, who was a group of bullied kids, became additionally bullied. So they suffered some sort of group punishment for something they weren't even associated with. Yeah, there's a lot of like fucked up narratives about Columbine. Columbine is so well, yeah, because they were both those two kids. Right. Dickheads, obviously.

But then on top of that, like, like, I feel like the the the the feeling after Columbine happened was like, weirdos are freaks. Like, right. These weirdos will kill you. And it's like, oh, no, you better you better beat the shit out of these kids for real so they never stand up for themselves. Yeah, it was really weird. Trench coat mafia really needs a rebrand.

Right. They haven't recovered from Columbine. Make that your life's mission. I love that. Come on. Yeah. Yeah, Nick, you should you should bring the trench coat mafia back. Bring the trench coat mafia back. Yeah. The the is it Dylan Klebold's car or is Eric Harris's car?

I think it's Dylan Klebold's car. Because it's the one they use the attack. Yes, is is in Los Angeles. There's someone. So he he had like a really nice classic BMW or something like that. And so it was so nice that they the one they carried out the attack with. It was sold at auction. And then someone in LA bought that car

and you'll just see it parked at like Hollywood lots. Is that a Hollywood lot? So crazy. We got a picture of it from our friend Bugman, who is, of course, right? He found it. That's the kind of thing he bought the car. Maybe it may be. He would buy the car just because he thought it was funny.

Yes, he probably probably would. He's a idiot. Anyways, sorry to get off on one of our Columbine tangents, which you started it. I know you want to take a cheap shot. Let's talk about let's talk about chains growing up. So we're going to talk about one of them, Sizzler. Mm hmm. But there was a were there any other things you mentioned?

Mexican food, was there any other thing from San Juan, Capistrano that you remember fancying as a girl? Man, I I don't have you guys done Hot Dog on a stick. We have not yet done. It comes to mind for me just because I loved Hot Dog on a stick so much. I think it's just a California chain. So it does feel kind of iconic to me. Right. A part of my the tapestry that is my life.

They had the the best deep fried corn dogs. So good. And cheese sticks that are deep fried. And so I, you know, as a kid back in the day, pre-internet, you're going to the mall every weekend, just walking around. And I was rarely seen without a corn dog in my hand. I have fit the profile so much of Hot Dog on a stick that I was offered an application to work there just by like being a regular customer.

They were like, you look like somebody who should work here. They do have like they do employ like teens there. Yeah, I was kind of a teen and you pump. I kind of like wanted to like be like cool and sexy as like a 14 year old. And so one of the things that the girls who worked there had to do was pump the lemonade. And it was kind of, I guess it wasn't looking like jacking off, but there was something kind of sexual about it. Have you ever seen the girls do that?

Yeah, I know what you mean. They kind of like have a big jug of lemonade and they pump it almost like somebody like on a train track using one of those like little car those little like trolley pumps. I know what you mean. It's also funny that you're trying to get me and Nick to comment on this. We're like, yeah, yeah, that's sexual. I don't know. It seemed kind of like it seemed kind of titillating to me at the time.

So that kind of appealed to me as well. For sure. I remember like like those are to me in my mind. Maybe your boobs bounce when you do it. I don't know. It seemed interesting. All like as a young teen boy, like all the like all these cute girls who were working like like like ice cream stand or something like that.

And I was like, I could never be with like a girl like that. And then I eventually had a job like that where I worked at a movie theater and like wore like the popcorn shirt. And I was like, man, if like a cute girl like around my age was doing this, everyone would love her. And then like I am like everyone love you. No, I was this I was this monster with a popcorn shirt on and my my boobs were bouncing around everywhere and like people wouldn't want to come to my line because I was like,

I can help you. And they're like, no, you're disgusting. And get out of the popcorn machine. I'm treating it like a ball pit. So a good job though. Hey, you can see movie. Yeah, that always seemed like a fun job. That's a great.

You can see movies for free movies for free. That's a good deal. And free popcorn to free popcorn. But I've talked about that old popcorn in the bag. They put old popcorn in the bag. I don't think I care about that. I don't think that would stop me from eating it. I want to say this.

It was like so embarrassing. I remember like American Pie 2 or something came out and like everyone, especially the private school I went to for like one year, like everyone came and it was like my senior year of high school. And like everyone just saw me like in like a popcorn T-shirt and hat. And I was like, I'm doing like, I'm going to do something for myself one day. Like I just like looked like.

You're the nerd from American Pie, that like one guy that was in all those movies at that time. Yes, I was. Yes. What is his name? What is this? What's that guy's name? Well, dude, not Jason Biggs, the lead.

No, it's like that one. Shermanator. Oh, Shermanator, yeah. I was a Shermanator character. You were the down Shermanator. And they're like seeing that movie. So like they are, they probably see me and then went and saw Shermanator. And I'm like, hey, that's him.

He is Shermanator. Does Shermanator fucking those movies? Yes. Okay. So I'm not like Shermanator. Okay. Why are you for God's sakes? I wasn't like Shermanator. He fucks, I think, in the second or second one. Yeah. He like fucks someone's mom or something doesn't he?

No, Stifler fucks a mom. Oh, yeah. Shermanator fucks like naughty, like the hot exchange student, which is like insane. Like like he's like, she's like Shermanator like makes me hot. And then she fucks and she fucks the Shermanator, which is like, that shouldn't happen. That like made me upset in the movie theater that Shermanator got laid.

That's what, yeah, those movies aren't realistic. Yeah. They're not documentaries. Right. It's not. Wait, so hot dog, so Mitch, have you had a hot dog and a stick? Yeah, I know you've had corn dogs. I've had a corn dog before, but I've never had a hot dog.

Oh, you have to go. They have cherry, cherry lemonade. I think it's really good. And the, yeah, the cheese, cheese on a stick and the hot dog on a stick are really good. That sounds amazing. I like that pepper jack on it. Oh, it's so good. It's a delight.

Little spice. You know what's funny? I mean, I don't know if I love stick foods. Wow. Marissa stood up. She's grabbing her things. She's pulled her mace out of her bag. Wait, it says doh boy strength.

She's right in both of our eyes. Powerful enough to take down Shermanator's seismic. Nick, Nick and I are having no reaction to this doh boy strength. It would have worked on episode like three, but now it won't work anymore. I need double dose. I like stick foods because it keeps your hands clean. Yeah.

And that's kind of, I feel like I didn't, I'm getting so like lame as I get older and I never used to think about like hand cleanliness or germs. But now for some reason, if I'm like, if I'm like playing like pinball and then like people are eating fries, I'm thinking about like the pinball machine and like licking my fingers.

For some reason I just get like squeamish about like licking fingers now. And so a hot dog on a stick to me, that's like, that's kind of perfect. You are getting lame. You lick your fingers all day long. Marissa Benson at the birthday, at some of those birthday boys party,

you were the cat's pajamas. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Licking all the fingers. Mine, yours, anyone's. Now you're a regular old hairball. Sorry to tell you. By the way, how often are you playing pinball

and having fries? Well, you know, I'm just thinking about like, I'm thinking about like times when you eat fries is always like like bowling. Like you stick your fingers in the ball. Like it's just a lot of those kind of like. If you weren't bowling and you stuck your fingers in a ball and there was a fry in there.

If the fry was on a stick, I'd have no problem eating it. But here's the thing with this. Here. All right. Before you see where I'm coming from with this. I go where you're saying. Before you get so pro stick here,

I want to say that I feel like it's like that sort of thing of like, I'll eat these things on a stick and then I'll get like, I have to eat around the stick. And then also like, you got a bite of the stick and I don't want to like, like the taste of wood. No, thank you. Like, like a, and also like,

you kind of eat the stick though. I know you don't eat the stick. He's still hungry though. I hate biting on utensils or anything like that. So like, it's a thing. The stick at a hot dog on a stick is the tight. It's almost like a large, like a tootsie pop. It's like a cardboard in my memory anyway.

Yeah, it is. So it's kind of like a little soggy. You'll eat a little paper, but like, you know, who cares? Yeah. I don't know. I like the sticks. I agree with Marissa. It is like a good way to eat something,

especially if you're in a situation where you're like standing. Like I like a skewer. I love a skewer. You just got to be careful about that 20 inch. I got a solution for both of you. They're called sandwiches. Here's the thing though.

You can have a greasy sandwich that will get your hands greasy, or you can have a messy sandwich that you got like mayo and condiments all over your hand. Like that's its own thing. You have it wrapped in little paper and you eat it with the paper. That's not a, I mean, it doesn't work.

It's like future food. It's like so tidy. You just eat it. You throw away a little paper stick. Oh, here's another thing. When you get your corn dog or you get anything like that, you not want condiments? Are you eating that corn dog with nothing?

No, I'm dipping. You do a little dip. You can absolutely dip with a stick. Paper tray, you dip in a little mustard, a little ketchup. Now you got a tray added to this whole thing. Look, if you're eating a sandwich, you got a plate. The tray's not that much of a complication. I think a stick foods kind of suck.

Okay, wait, here's a question. Okay, you know how like, if you're doing ice cream, do you do a cone versus a bowl? Because sometimes something is kind of fun about eating everything that's part of it. Like having like no utensil left, consuming the entire, the entire buffalo. Yeah, that's awesome.

I was just, I had an ice cream cone the other night. And we did at the restaurant we went to. And I, and I actually had an ice cream cone earlier in that week. Okay. But, and also I had one the week before. Okay. But I was thinking as I was eating them,

like I was like, I want to get rid of this as fast as possible while I was eating the ice cream cone. I liked it. Don't get me wrong. I liked doing it, but I was just the thing where I was like, I want to get rid of this. And then you're holding like a gross napkin. Yeah, that's the thing.

You sometimes get the drip situation. Oh, you always get a drip. You don't have problems. It's kind of, the thing that I would say is a point against it is it's kind of a race against the clock. Like you can't just leisurely consume, have a bite, be chatting. You're like kind of on like drip patrol.

Like looking around, people are telling you, oh, it's dripping. You know, it is a lot to focus on. Maybe if you're alone, but maybe not like in a crowd with distractions. I just cannot, hand foods entirely. I mean, I am an, I'm an indoor eater. You like, you like a knife and fork and spoon.

I like a knife and fork. I don't like people to see me eating. It's like the same. Yeah, that's fine. You know, I talked about having acne earlier. I haven't, I feel like I have an acne personality, which I've talked to a lot of people about. It's true where I like can't look at people in like,

it's gotten better obviously over the years, but like looking people in the face or something. And I think it's now with food a lot of the time, I like don't like people to see me. You're very self-conscious about it. You're afraid they're going to take some of your food? I'm always eyeing them. I'm eyeing them in their hands.

Yeah. And I'm afraid that they're going to, they're going to steal. No, I'm not afraid. I don't know, steal and nugget. That is, that is, that's another high school thing where people would just constantly take your food. Yeah, they'll walk up and do that.

Oh, good luck bringing a tray of fries in the cafeteria. Oh boy. You know what, that's such garbage. Yeah. To any high school kids who are listening, which I 100% guarantee they are not. God, I hope not. I hope not.

If you're a high school kid, hashtag Doe Boys 18 and under. Um, why do you really want to start collecting names under that hashtag? We should know. What purpose are you going to compile this spreadsheet? We should know. It'll make it easier for the police.

I just think that people, like, uh, like, uh, they should, they should let people have their own lunch. Right. I hate takers. I hate when people take, I would rather buy, I've said this to you, I've said this on the podcast before, I'd rather buy something in half, like an extra thing and have people take, eat from it, then,

then have them take what I bought for my lunch. I used to, I used to live in a very large apartment complex. It was like one of those ones where it's just like a, it's got a giant courtyard. We get it. You're rich. No, this was, this was in college. Oh my God.

This was, look, this was not a well thing. I'm Malibu you. I lived, I lived in a two bedroom with. Oh, two bedroom. This was a two bedroom with three roommates. Oh, three roommates. And let me guess, you had the room to yourself. I didn't have a room to myself.

I shared a bedroom. Look, here's what I was saying. Is that I lived in this very large apartment. There were a lot of college students in it and there was a, a large courtyard. And I remember the thing like, there were like kids would like be playing in the pool or like in the courtyard.

And so I like, I mean. Those college days kids were playing in the pool. Cause also families lived there. These were like, these were like teenagers. These were like no good teens. And so the thing I like, I remember once I got a pizza, a delivery, but you have to go like all the way out to the gate, which was like a quarter mile walk from where my apartment was

and go all the way out to the gate. And then I, I, this place was huge. It was a giant, I'd said it was a big complex. Look, and then I, and then I was, as I was walking back, all these no good teens were like, Hey man, give me some pizza. Hey man, let me have a slice of pizza. Hey man, can I have a wing?

Hey, can I have a bread stick? Like everyone's asking for them. I don't even know them. They're just random teens. Did you give any away? I didn't give away any of it. It made me think back to, but it put me back in high school. I was like, wait a minute, these are,

these are more kids trying to take my food away. So let me guess, you started crying and you ran back here? No, wait a minute. I can stand up for myself. You threw the pizza in the pool so no one could have it? Yeah. No, I took that back. I took that entire pizza and those 12 wings and ate all of it myself.

You know what, I was a meal for one. You know what I found out like, you know, when you're younger and like, that guy like yells at kids, if you go on to his like lawn, like a, that's like fun. Like I want to like yell like, I think that's funny. Like, get out of here. Like that's funny.

I would always do it like more as a joke. I remember a man who lived behind my house chased me with a hammer one time and that was like legit scary. That's terrifying. Oh my God. So what were you doing? I was just cutting through his backyard. Oh God.

My grandpa had a story about like, he just like, his fun story. It was just like, I remember the far, we used to go to the farmer and we went in there and we'd sneak in and we'd steal watermelons and we, one time we fucked them. And one time we, one time we stole a couple of watermelons and the farmer came out and he, with a shotgun and started shooting at us. I was like, what, like, there was a time when people would shoot to kill over, they would try to kill kids over watermelons.

I guess people still do that. I guess people still shoot to kill over hobby crimes. But I was just like, there's such a crazy way to tell us like this quaint story. Anyways. So that was threatening your life. Time for bed, Nick. Give your grandma a kiss and it's a watermelon sitting in a chair. We'll take a quick break.

We'll be right back with more Doe Boys. Spoiler alert. The following second act of Doe Boys contains major spoilers for the ending of the new film, The Mummy, starring Tom Cruise. Welcome back to Doe Boys. We're here with Marissa Benson. The AC has been turned back on. Marissa, do you feel any different?

I feel amazing. I think we can get that hum louder. Just drown us out entirely. Justin, can you crank up the humming post? Crank up the hum. All right, great. If you want the hum louder, hashtag hum up. And then, Nick, if you want that hum out of there, hashtag humdinger.

Oh, God. That's good. All right. So, Sizzler, we were eating there. That's good. Right? It is good. Yes, it's good.

It's good. It's good. We all agree it's good. Everyone listening to it. Everyone likes it. They were nodding along saying it's good. As I said, humdinger. What other reaction would you have?

It's not bad. It's good. It's good. I agree. All right. I agree. We went to Sizzler last night. And what was it last night?

What was it? Boy, it feels like a long time ago. It was just last night. We went last night. With your husband, Dave. And, but you were saying that this was a place you would go to as a kid. Yes. With some frequency.

This was like kind of like a special occasion place. And I haven't been since I was a kid. So, I mean, like all 90s nostalgia either having a big resurgence. I was hoping that Sizzler would kind of flood me with those feelings of being a child and being happy. And I would say it did. Yes. I would say it absolutely did. I will say my confession around the bad never been to a Sizzler once.

Interesting. In my entire life. But you know, I will say this, I've noticed that they had a big contraction. Like 1996, they used to be like nationwide. And then around then they, a bunch of like they filed for bankruptcy and a bunch of locations closed. And if you look at the map now, it's almost all in the Western U.S. Oh, interesting. With some locations in Asia and Australia.

I'm going to, I'll start off by saying this. Um, I really had a great time last night. I did too. I had a great time. I'm so glad because I, my expectations were so high and I would have felt really bad if you guys hated it. Or you thought it was disgusting because this was like, or I really did have a lot of fond memories. We didn't eat out a lot as a kid. Our family just didn't go out.

So it was like kind of like a special occasion, like a birthday thing, like I said. And so it, it was kind of, it did, it does kind of feel like a festive place. There were a lot of people there celebrating. There were like graduations. Multiple graduations. Yeah. It just kind of has that vibe. Like everybody's there to kind of have a good time. Right.

There was like such a graduation that for real, like a kid was wearing a graduation cap. A graduation cap and gown. Yeah. Yeah. For like, like, I'm like, she should take that off. I feel like, but like it was, it was the most graduation-y thing I've ever seen in my life. I think of your post-graduation ceremony, you want to ride that high for a little bit. Because what else are you going to wear that cap and gown?

You should have gotten to wear it on the, also you should have tossed that cap up in the air. It should be somewhere on the ground somewhere. I mean, how do you know that kid didn't toss theirs up and there and then someone else's cap fell down on their head? Just landed on top. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, you know what? You're probably right.

Well, last night, I got to say this. It was, man, it was humming there. It was humming. Jam packed. Jam packed. Our server, Maria, who was great. She was lovely. Very attentive. Yeah. But she said like, you guys came on a packed night.

Like it didn't seem like normal business for a Thursday night in Los Feliz, but it was, or actually at Waterville. It must, it must have been like the graduation weekend. Right. Yeah. Because there were, there were a lot of families there. No parking spots. I had a park on the street.

There were no parking spots in the parking lot. It was every single spot was taken. It was crazy. Actually, I didn't see you park because you dropped me off and because you had to take a phone call. I guess you didn't find a spot in the lot. That's crazy. Yes, that's right.

But then you left with me, if you remember correctly. I did, but weren't you parked in the lot when we left? No, we were on the street. Where were you? Wait, I don't remember this. Why are you forgetting everything about last night? No, I remember. And also like, this makes so much sense because I said to you last night, I was like,

are you okay tonight? Because you like seemed distant. It's like when I, you know, I looked. Did a coconut fall on your head right before dinner? Because if so, we need to get another coconut. I looked into your eyes and you know, like the flying toaster screen savers they were crossing over your eyes. You seem, I said to you, you seem distant.

Where were we parked? Where we had a part on the street, on the meter, right next, right next to the Don't remember walking to the car. I used the Doughboys card on it. I told you about that. You don't remember anything. This is strange. I do remember.

No, I remember to fill him in on his sizzler visit. This is crazy. I remember the meal. For some reason, I remember walking to your car in the parking lot. Maybe we walked through the parking lot to get to your car. Yes, we did. That. So that's what it was.

I remember walking through the parking lot and then I remember being in your car, but I don't connect. This is like memento where no one cares. Here's what it's all written on his body. Walk through parking lot. Eight cone. There was the abandoned cone. Remember, we saw the abandoned.

I do remember the abandoned cone. Somebody abandoned the cone. Someone abandoned a cone. Oh, I hate that. One of those flat bottom cones. They had it set it up. Flat bottom cones. You make the sizzler world go round.

It's weird that that's the only song they play in the restaurant. They just play it on a loop. Yeah. Flat bottom cones. I don't think it's weird. I think it's appropriate. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

I remember Sizzler as a kid. For me, it was a birthday thing, not my birthday, but friend's birthdays. We would go to Sizzler. I remember, I think my friend Carly had a birthday there. That was like a sixth grade thing. Hi, Carly. And then there was a, then we had a, that was a place I went with my friends, John and David once.

The three of us went and we shared. John and who? John and David with an N. David. Yeah. Very cool, dude. We went there and. His name's David.

He was cool. He was a very cool dude. If you met David, you'd be like, this guy's a cool dude. Was it I Carly or no? It was I Carly. Thank you. I Carly still in her mother's womb at the time because I'm much older than her. I know I went back and we went and the three of us and we split one salad bar,

which is, which is like a bad kid thing to do. That's classic. They can tell we were doing it too, but they kind of were like, all right, that's, you know, whatever, we'll let these kids pay for one salad bar and share it. But like that, you basically just stole. That behavior makes me so uncomfortable. Like even as a kid, when people would want to like make the lemonade or get the water cup and you do a soda, I would don't want nothing to do with that.

I have said that before on here. I never want anything to do that. I will pay more. I'll go out of my way to pay more. I like don't want, I don't want to get in any trouble. It's like a fear of authority or something. Like if one like other like person, like if I'm like 12 and the person working, there was like 14 and they're like, Hey, don't do that.

Like I'll like just like spurts into tears. I definitely feel bad about it. Kind of bad about it looking back. It's not the thing I would do anymore as an adult man, but you know, I never like split out on a bill or anything. No, that's way too naughty. That was like way bad. But like, yeah, definitely.

Have I done that? I don't think so. I don't think I ever did that. I also peer pressure trumps everything. So I probably would do whatever. But I was at Mendocino and Fauna's yesterday just quickly. And she was trying to offer me samples of the salads from the salad bar thing, because you can try the, and I was like, Oh no, I'm not going to get any of them.

And she's like, yeah, but like we don't care about the cell. We're just wanting to try it. And I was like, are you sure? Like I was still afraid to do it. Like she was being like, take some samples and I wanted to, but I was take some fucking samples. It's true. She really, she really was like pushing a mommy and then I finally did.

And I tried like three different salads and I felt, I felt guilty or something. And then she said, you failed the test and pointed a gun at your head. But, but Nick brought me back to life. Just like, oh man, I want to say something, but I can't. I, what were you going to say a spoiler? What are you going to say? I just want to say that. Can I say this?

It's going to be, this is going to be your mommy prediction was right. I was right about the mummy. The mummy prediction was right. That Tom crew. Wait, does Marissa mind that? I don't care about a mummy. Dustin, are you cool? The mummy spoiler?

Yeah. Okay. All right. Tom Cruise becomes a mummy. Tom Cruise becomes the mummy. Yeah. Oh, what are you saying? Does he stay small?

Does he stay smaller? Does he get big? Does he get big when he's the mummy? He, he doesn't get big, but he, he changed it. Like there's like a thing where he like kind of changes a little bit. Yeah. That might make me want to see it. And then also like it's kind of confusing because like when you see him as the

mummy, his face is covered. So like you never really see one. You know, for sure. But, but I was going to say he brings me back to life like the mummy because that is one of his powers. So I saw the start of the dark universe. We're going to have to put a disclaimer that we, we spoil some mummy here. How do we do it?

Like what do, how do we handle this now? You just put it in the episode description. So we'll put it, there's a mummy spoilers ahead. Hey Dustin, can we record this real quick? And then we can just drop this in after the, the break. And then also you should keep it in here right now. Okay. Yeah.

Keep it in here now. But then what I say now, put this like right after the commercial break. All right. All right. Here we go. All right. Spoiler alert. The following second act of dough boys contains major spoilers for the ending of

the new film, the mummy starring Tom Cruise. Okay. So then the people will hear that as soon as they come back. And they'll hear all of this in the explanation as well. But, but okay. So wait. So because my print, I had two predictions that I posted online. One was that he becomes a mummy.

I try to go on my basis. The other is that he also said that I may have gotten it from bug main and taken to his mom. That might be where the movie got the idea. They heard bug main say that and they were like, let's reshoot it. You writing the shit down? And then my other prediction was that it turns out he's Van Helsing. But I guess that he's not actually Van Helsing.

He's a mummy. Yeah. He's the mummy. That's cool though. I love mummies having to come back. Yeah. Why not? So fun.

Mummy movies are fun and the movie's not great. So actually like if anyone gets upset that this got spoiled, you should not care. Is King Tut a mummy? Yeah. He became a mummy. I feel like that could like in three years there will be like Channing Tatum playing King Tut or something. The Steve Martin King Tut.

He already is. He is. He's our Channing Tatum is our Steve Martin. I always think of him as my Steve Martin. Iconic career banjo. So we were a sizzler was like definitely thing we went to quite a bit growing up. Not regularly, but a special occasion thing. And you know, occasionally take advantage of that salad bar.

I went with my dad when we go to visit my grandma because it was one of the few chain restaurants that was up in Tahatchabee, California at the time. And last night, it had been for me, it had been like probably 20 years. Me too. Yeah. I mean for a long time. But I agree with you that it was, I was really impressed by the level of quality. And the service was great.

You know, the thing about sizzlers, you order at the counter, which is a little different than chainers. Well, I didn't understand that when I walked in there. It's kind of a weird system. I was truly confused. We went to the table and then I sat down and you guys like, we have to go up to order. I will say though that that is my absolute favorite dining experience is the paying in advance and then getting your food afterwards.

I find it to be such a buzzkill, like at the end of like a meal where you're drinking or whatever you have dessert, you have coffee, you're spending a lot of money, you're kind of having fun. And then like the check comes and now you have to like do math and like get out your wallet and like think about how poor you are. It's just like such a bummer at the end of a meal that like I love to pay in advance. Then when you're done, you just go. Right.

Yeah. And you can, you split it. It's also that thing too of, oh, we don't have to worry about splitting. Absolutely. We can each pay independently. Yes. It's great. For a big group.

Great. Here's the weird thing that I, and I don't know if this is the case at all. Sizzlers are just a particular Sizzler. But the thing is I, I, so like, like the, the bill came and I paid for the bill and then I gave a tip on the card that you're paying in advance. And then they gave me the tip that I put as change in cash and said, leave this on the table for your server. Oh, that's right.

I was like, oh, that's kind of a weird system. But that being said, I love that. Yeah, I kind of like it too. Yeah. Because it's fun to leave a cash tip and it's nice to know that it's just taken care of. Here's, since we're talking about the line, I think one of my only complaints about yesterday is that the line starts right by the restrooms, which is a little weird. Yeah.

And a system that was already kind of like wonky to me, like the line goes out. So you're like, you were smelling like urinals, like cake smell. But like two feet away from like a list of shrimp. It's like, you like, if the door opens, you'll see like a man's butt as he's peeing. And then the door closes and then you're like thinking about like what seafood I want to eat. Who was that guy who put his pants down to his head? Right. Peeing like a little kid in front of the door.

Yeah. But so, so let's get into our food a little bit from Cislar. So I ordered the steak and jumbo crispy shrimp combo. It comes with your choice of side. I went with baked potato and also added the salad bar. You can have the salad bar to any entree for a. Which I mean, if you're going like, don't not get the salad bar. Why not do it?

Because this salad bar is pretty impressive. I think it's just got like, it's always been a thing they've known for, but they've got a lot of different items on it. You were very excited. You burned me because there were fucking seeds at the stupid salad bar, which I said last time that and who put seeds on their salad. I mean, I know that seeds can go on salads, especially sunflower seeds. But no, there was also a little canister of bugs.

So you're both right. Right. And then the dishes also come with a cheese toast, which I, as I was saying, like, oh yeah, I remember you get this, this bread with it and the bread is, the cheese toast is great. I got myself a mango lemonade and then dessert we can talk about in a second. How about you guys in terms of entrees? I got the shrimp scampi and I'm new to seafood.

I only started eating seafood like three years ago. Really? Yeah, I got no seafood at all before that. No seafood at all. I'm a vegetarian. So like kind of a world has been unlocked for me, like being able to eat fish and stuff. My mom gave me an undercooked fish stick when I was seven and I was like, just shut down all things from the ocean for me for kind of like 20 years.

So this whole world is open up. I'm so excited to be in the world of shrimp. I got the shrimp scampi, which was my first time having shrimp scampi. So it was kind of special, special for a lot of reasons. It tasted to me more like a fettuccine Alfredo than what I imagined shrimp scampi being. I imagine that kind of being more like an olive oil. This definitely seemed like a fettuccine Alfredo sauce. And I got the, what was it?

We both got the same thing, a cherry limeade. Cherry limeade, that's right. Which was not limeade. Yeah, it was, it was, it was, it was very, the cherry part of it was like overpowering a little bit. I think it, I think they were out of cherry limeade and they put grenadine in soda water and put a sprig of mint in it and some maraschino cherries and a wedge of lime. There wasn't even any lime flavor?

There was no lime. It was a Shirley Temple. The lime was not as, there should have been more lime flavor for sure. My mango lemonade, I thought was really good and really refreshing. It was good, yeah. I really liked it. I've said, I like, I'm a big fan of a, oh god, now I can't, raspberry lime ricky. And I love those back in Massachusetts.

And so I was like, oh, I was very hopeful for this cherry limeade. I don't think it was bad. No, I drank the whole thing. If you're wanting that kind of like citrusy, if you're wanting that kind of bite, it's not gonna be there. I needed that more, the kind of, what is that, like a bitter lime taste? It might have just been that they were out and they just didn't want to tell us. And so they like kind of improvised, which is fine. It was good.

It, I like Shirley temples. It got the job done. It was, it was too sweet. By the way, you should go to son of a gun, a Los Angeles restaurant that is like seafood based. Oh, great. And then you, yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready to dive right in. Are you, are you willing to try sushi?

Is that a thing you've been eating? I've never had, never had sushi. Oh man, sugar fish. I know that's the place everybody wants to go to. I'm a little skewed out by raw fish, but I'm getting, I've had like scallops. I've had lobster now crab. Like, so I'm kind of like working my way in. I feel like you can have like a-

I think sugar fish, go on, go on. I was just gonna say sugar fish is like the, is the best version of it you could have. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'll try it. Cause it's, cause it's kind of like a, you know, it's not like, they're better sushi restaurants in LA, but it's like a very accessible,

high quality version of it. And I think, I think kind of mainstream, about what I was going to say is that I think some of the roles, like the California roles that have like a cooked crab, something like that. Sometimes those are more tolerable as introductions for people. Yeah. I like crabs.

So I'll probably give that a shot. I was the same way as a kid. I think, I think seafood is scary. Yeah. It's kind of everything about like the ocean just feel, I kind of had like a built up in my mind that like the ocean is not for us. Like that's kind of like earth too. And there's like just like, it has its own, it has its own beast.

It has its own like ecology and like, you know, food chain and like, I just shouldn't be a part of that. I can't survive there. They don't come out here and eat me. I shouldn't go in there and eat them. That's fair. But I'm happy to, the little shrimpies in the shrimp scampi were, they were good and plump and I enjoyed it a lot.

It's very, we also laughed very much that you're a vegetarian and we took you to Sizzler. No, I suggested it because I do have such fond memories. They're actually. Oh no, we loved it. I mean, like that's the reason we wanted to do it. No, it was great. We had to do it even more.

It was great. It was great. I'm new to, I'm new to shrimpies and these were great. When I was younger, I just remembered I, I, it's burned in my memory because I accidentally sat in the wrong booth. Like my family, we all sat down, you know, how you leave your table and go to the, go to the salad bar. I came back to what I thought was my family's table and I sat down

and started drinking the soda that was in front of me. And then this other family like came in and scooched in beside me and we're like, oh, help yourself. And I, and I like completely all the blood, like just like went to my feet and just like wanted to die. How old were you? Like 12. And you just joined that family.

I just joined that family and that's my mom and dad to the same. Those are the parents. Yep, those are the parents. They let their kids have soda at restaurants. They're cool. I had a similar embarrassing thing at a soup plantation, wasn't quite the same, wasn't the exact same incident, but I was like trying to be helpful and I was trying to like,

like carry my mom's plate as well as my own plate. You sat down, you as an adult man, you sat down at a table with children. No, this, this is when I was eight years old. I was carrying a, I was trying to carry both my mom's plate and my plate. What a little gentleman. Yeah. But then I dropped my mom's plate and it shattered.

And I was just like the, I was done for the rest of the night. Just like humiliated. Humiliated. Inconsolable. Because that was just an impression of my mom. My mom's a nice lady. Back in the closet for you, mate. You think I was raised by some like feral hillbilly woman?

That's right. She's from Southern California. She's a lovely woman. Carrie Weiger. Carrie Weiger. I'm Carrie Weiger. Wait, what is, what do you think it's a, you're doing an impression of my mom? What is this?

I made your mom as a great lady. She's a wonderful woman. I'm just, I'm just giving out, you can do an impression of my mom. I don't want to do an impression. I made your mom. Your mom's great. I like your mom more than you. Whoa.

Nick. I get along with her better because she also doesn't like you. Anyways, Carrie, Mrs. Weiger, you're great. I know that she's not a. You're just having fun. I know she's not a hillbilly. Now you made me feel, you got offended by that. What the fuck is wrong with you?

It's weird. It was weird. You can literally make fun of my mom or, you know what, go ahead. Nick, I want you to make fun of my dead dad right now. I'm not going to make fun of your dead dad. Make fun of my dead dad. No, I don't want to do it. All right.

I'm very insulted. More insulted than you are when I made fun of your mom. I got the steak and Malibu chicken. Yeah. And let's talk steak real quick because we, we can, we had a little, a confab, a little side chat as we were leaving the restaurant about the steak. Marzia, you were not privy to this. Oh, I love it.

We had a little conversation on the ride home. Nick and I, we didn't sit in silence. We actually talked to each other on the ride back from the restaurant. A little meeting in judges chambers. And I would say that we agreed. This was your observation. And I agreed with you that, well, why don't you say what your observation was about steak? My observation was that of all these chain restaurants that we've went to,

and this is, this was shocking to me. And you're excluding like high end places like important steak now. Besides, this was my, my favorite lower or like, like a fast food slash cheaper chain steak that I've had. Your favorite, your favorite value. Wow. My favorite value steak. It was very, very good.

It was fatty in the right way. That's wonderful to hear. It was, mine was cooked well, Nick. Cause I know that yours was, uh, was, was not correctly mid rare. It was more of a medium well, but it was still, it was still a good piece of meat. It was well seasoned too. And, and it was well seasoned. It was cute that they put that little toothpick that has the, the temperature

that you have your steak cooked. I do love that. They stick out in the steak. It was very charming. I loved it. The details. I don't like that it was a, basically a food on a stick. I took it out and put it away.

It was also, it was also, it doesn't have like, we, we talked about this like, sometimes you have that like metallic or like tinny, like weird flavor with beef at like, I think even outback, which is like a, outback steakhouse, which is like a steak place can suffer from this word. What is that? What is that? Nick was saying that sometimes it's like a thing when the, when the food is frozen. Yeah.

I feel like if it's a frozen steak or something that's been in cold storage for a while, it sometimes tastes a little stale. It was, it was tasted really good. That was a good quality steak. Honestly, if someone was like, let's go to Sizzler. I would not be opposed to it. Right. It's, it's, it's, it's good.

It's decent. And you had the Malibu chicken, which came with it, which was different than I expected. Different than I expected to. That looked very surprising. It looked like a chicken cordon blue. It was, it was, it was very surprising. And then I got to say this also good. I was shocked.

It was like a chicken patty with a piece of ham and then Swiss cheese melted on top of it. Nick, you had a bite of it. Yeah. I thought it was tasty. I wasn't sure what made it Malibu at all. They just didn't want to call it a chicken cordon. It's the furthest thing from Malibu. Like at first of all, it's, it's fine. Around the world, like geographically, it's like far away from the chicken cordon.

Like a circumference of the globe. Right. It also like it's fried, which is like Malibu. Not Malibu. You think it'd be like grilled or something. Yeah. But it was good. Yeah. And also like that like felt like kind of a little bit cheaper or something.

Cause it was like, oh, this child, this fried chicken patty and then, and then there's ham and Swiss melted on top of it. But it was tasty. It was a good execution of that. And I had lime rice with mine. Um, and, but I, I did not like, I almost, I think I was almost close to a member of the clean plate club because I was not that hungry. I'd eaten like dinner before I ate dinner before basically I had a chicken.

I had a chicken salad wrap before like two hours before I came. And, but I, I, I, I enjoy it. I really, really enjoyed it. Yeah. It was a good, I mean, I, along with the steak, which we, which I commented on the jumbo crispy shrimp and your husband, Dave got a, got a big old platter of shrimp too. Man, they gave him a lot of shrimp. That was like 200 shrimps. It was insane how many shrimp were on that plate.

And there was a big discussion of whether Dave should take the shrimp home. Take the shrimp home. Yeah. That's a good question. Like, like reheating shrimp, like what, what constitutes something that is, is acceptable to like take home to go. Mitch had a great tip on reheating shrimp that I hadn't heard. And I was like, oh, that's pretty good. That's how you do it, Nick.

And same with goes for french fries. Anything fried, you get out a pan. You'll put a little olive oil in there and you fry it back up. That's, that's how you reheat it. This should be on your dating profile because I'm telling you, if you lead with this shit, you'll have a wife in a year. Oh boy. She'll hate me. I'll teach you how to reheat shrimp.

See, look, I'm not offended that you did a funny voice for me, Nick. Yeah, but that's you. Hey, that's not how I sound. Yeah, the Christmas shrimp. Hey, by the way, I will teach you how to read shrimp. Can't finish your shrimp. You're all stuffed with shrimp. Stop telling me I'm stuffed.

Stop telling another person that they're stuffed. The implication is that like, you're like a, a dumber version of a Bubba from Forest Gump. You're stuffed with shrimp. I got another shrimp I could stuff you with. So I, I'm like Bubba Gump from Forest Gump, but I don't know anything about shrimp. Yeah.

And I just want people to get stuffed with shrimp. You're like Bubba's Bubba. If he had a side gig, it was a little dimmer than him. Yeah. You just like rattle off ways to reheat shrimp. Pan-fried shrimp. Pan-fried shrimp. Toaster oven shrimp.

Microwave shrimp. And that shrimp oven shrimp. Toaster oven chef. What about toaster oven army? I said a second before. Oh yeah, toaster. Use toaster oven army. Hashtag toaster oven army.

And if you don't hashtag toaster oven a wall. Wow. We'll edit the first one out so that if you're not editing any of it, there's a lot of posts on this episode. None of it will happen. By the way, I liked those shrimps quite a bit. They were good. That's what I was just going to say that the jumbo

crispy, crispy shrimp, I gave you one or two of them. And those are really, you gave me one. I gave me one. I can't remember. I wasn't sure. Whatever. There was a lot of leftover. If you needed shrimp at the end of that meal,

there was plenty of shrimp you could have had. There was a ton of extra shrimp. Nick doesn't remember any of this, but he remembers the time when his two, him and his two rebel friends got one salad from the salad bar with great detail. The jumbo crispy shrimp were, yeah, they were really, they had a great, like, they were nice and hot. They had a great crispness to them.

I like the shrimp themselves. The cocktail sauce was on point. Yeah, just a very solid meal. Let's talk about the cheese toast a little bit. Oh, the cheese toast was great. How do you feel about the cheese toast? The memories kept flooding back with the cheese toast. It was excellent.

That is exactly what you want from restaurant cheese toast garlic bread. I will say, though, there were four of us in our party and we were given three slices. Yeah, yeah, yeah, kind of a faux pas. It was a little deduction for them. So I don't know if that was an oversight. I don't know if they have, like, I don't know,

some kind of algorithm with how they, how they figure out how many pieces of cheese toast to give, but it was a mistake. I started chomping one right away. I was like, hey, there's only 40. As you're licking your fingers. Here's my guess is that because they don't have, they don't seat your party, you seat yourself,

is that they saw one of us was at the salad bar still. And God, I hope that's what it was because Maria, I know that she wouldn't have done that on purpose. Maybe they have a thing where, like, you have to be a party of five to get four. I don't know. Maybe it doesn't come with certain entrees. You have to be the party of five.

You have to be Jennifer Love-Hewitt. Or Scott Wolf. Or Scott Wolf. Or Scott Wolf. Oh, I almost said Scott Wolf. Neve Campbell. Neve Campbell. Or a young girl.

That little one. The little one. Or do you want to have curly hair? The one with curly hair. I did not watch party of five is what I found out from this. Because you lived it, baby. Hell yeah. It's a California lifestyle.

That cheese toast, I mean, if everybody in the party is going to want cheese toast, so for some reason you're not given a piece, don't like play coy and say like, oh, no, I don't need one. Ask the server if you can have one. Ask for one. Surely they were, but let me say,

they were knocking out of the park in all aspects because the cheese toast was great. The salad bar. I thought they have a great salad bar. Oh my god. It was so clean, which is really, that's the number one important factor of a salad bar. Right.

How did you do your, I did kind of like classic salad bar salad where I did like lettuce base. I did carrots, onions, cheese, a little egg, some beans. What were those beans? The, what are the? Some garbanzos. Garbanzo beans.

Thank you. Garbanzo beans. And then I did ranch. You're a bean in the salad person. I'll do that too. I did a few beans in the salad. I tried to make like, I put, and then I put, I know a couple of croutons and then I put on some ranch.

I tried to make like the classic salad bar salad and I really enjoyed it. I didn't eat a ton of it, but I enjoyed it. Yeah. I ate my, I made a pretty substantial salad. You actually commented on all the mixed greens I piled on. I made a fairly substantial salad and I really filled up on that.

I probably made, you were probably right to comment on it because I think I got a little too full off of that salad. It was a leaning tower of greens, Weiger, of greens though. It was, it was crazy. Right. Yeah. No croutons either. Did you do croutons?

I threw on a few croutons because I treated myself because it was a, I normally don't do croutons on salad because that's an easy way to save some calories, but I was like, we're having fun. Right. Or it says lower. If you want that classic salad bar experience, you're getting ranch and you're getting croutons.

There's no two ways about it. And then you did, even though, even though you had so much lettuce, yeah, you, you, you went the kind of classic salad bar, right? You did ranch. Yeah. And I did, I did.

Oh wait, I think it had blue cheese actually. Oh, did you? Another classic dress. Yeah, that's the salad bar classic. And I threw on, I threw on croutons. I threw on a few, I threw on, yeah, a few garbanzo beans. I think, I think we had similar salads. I think we were sort of like, yeah.

I think we were, I think we were salad twins in this case. Great salad twins. I didn't, I didn't have carrots on mine, which you pointed out. I wasn't adding carrots, but I did throw on like a lot of similar ingredients. Should we rebrand Doe Boys and call us the salad twins? That's it.

It will be like medically necessary for you guys to become the salad twins like in 2018. Once we relaunched as a salad twins. Our subscribers just go down to like a single. I also like that Marissa gave us till 2018 next year. I see the writing on the wall. You're 100% right. Marissa, what'd you do in the salad bar department?

I went with standard romaine lettuce, which to me is, if I'm having a salad, especially if at a salad bar, but in general, my preferred salad base is romaine. I'm in it for the crunch. I gotta have that like, I, in fact, I don't, I'll just say it. I don't like spinach salads. I don't like mixed greens out as much because you're not getting that really satisfying, juicy, refreshing crunch.

So that's that crunch. So I did romaine, I did carrots, ranch dressing, and like a fuck ton of black olives, which is not something you have on hand at home. So for me, that was a special treat. It's not typically on a salad. You get off a menu. So that was like kind of a salad bar.

I like black olives. All right. But I only just a little taste of them. Not, not, not too many of them. They're so good. Also, by the way, crunch sounds like crotch and crunch. It's like a, like a crunch fitness, like a, like a spin-off gym. When I, when I would sit on Santa's lap, when I was younger, he would yell,

anyways, um, well, what was on the other side? There was like a premium. There was like a hot, uh, a hot bar. Yes. You pointed out that there were, there was just tacos. There were tacos. And I do remember that the sizzler I remember going to as a child, I do remember more hot options.

Maybe my memory is just a little warped. Maybe they changed. No, you were right on. There, there used to be more hot things. Yeah. They had a big old buffet there. That's okay. I'm not crazy.

I remember they had a big old buffet and they had a children's buffet that had dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and like chocolate pudding and kind of like more stuff fit for a kid's palette. And so I did, I did kind of miss that. But I mean, there was plenty of food there that there was a taco bar. People were eating all they could eat tacos. Right. You could still, you could still definitely have a, and you,

because that was one of the issues with, uh, with, when I was doing a little research in this place, one of the issues with sizzler is they had, so they expanded their buffet section so much that people just stopped ordering their food and they were only doing salad bar. But you can, like, since they've scaled it back a little bit now, but you can still definitely make, make a salad bar your whole meal for sure. You absolutely, and they're not policing that salad bar.

If you get like a one trip, like nobody is keeping track. Like, yeah, I think we did, I think we did one trip and I, and we could have gone back for sure. We could have gone back. Nobody gave a shit. Hey, speaking about going back to the salad bar, we got ourselves some dessert from the dessert station. That's true.

That is true. This is iconic sizzler experience. Don't come and not hit the dessert bar. Speaking of going back to the salad bar, we didn't. We went to the dessert bar. Well, look, I, I, here's why- We hit another bar. Maria said it was included with the salad bar.

So that's why I was like- She was calling me Maria. Yeah. No, I didn't call you Maria. I was talking about her server, Maria. I was, I was shook. As the children say. Remember that, uh, he was conked on the head last night. Well, now I'm kind of, I'm concerned like,

like if he like gets tingly or a little lightheaded, something's going to happen. You're going to need medical intervention. Is that why you're wearing the Hawaiian shirt? Because the coconut fell on your head? Yeah, I'm a different guy now. I'm a dumb guy. Who's a party animal?

I forgot her server's name was Maria. She was wonderful. She did remind us to hit the dessert bar, because we were a little apprehensive. We didn't know if we had to pay extra for it. She did remind us. Right. Very, the only slip-up she ever had.

We never got offered refills, which I saw her at the table get refills, but I don't even think she was on those refills. We might not get refills on those premium drinks. It's very unclear what people's jobs are there too. Yes. That is the other thing. There, there's, it's kind of chaotic.

There were so many people. Right. But there was a people coming around giving refills for the cherry lime, and it's in the middle of the night. But it was, but there were, it was a specific person. I don't know if it was that person's job

to maybe hit us up. Right. We had a lot of shit on the table by the end. They could have just missed it. There was so much shit on our table. You bring up one down point if you want to take any points off versus the plates are gigantically huge.

The plates are gigantic. And you have your salad bar plate. You have your entree plate. The plates are kind of square. So just like kind of just from a, like a Tetris standpoint, they don't really fit together well on the table. But that's a minor thing.

Yes. It would have been nice if they'd come by to, to bus our salad plates at some point. It would have made life a little easier. But she was very nice at the end. She, and she said, hey, write us up a good, like she was like, you should take that food home. I'll get you boxes.

Yeah. She was really nice. She was very nice. She said, if, if you guys enjoyed yourselves today, please come back. And also she said, give us a nice review on Yelp. She was saying very nice. She was very nice.

You should call me Maria. I like Maria better than I like me. No. I want to be Maria. Were you, were you also conked on the head by coming out? Me crazy. We went to the dessert bar.

We got the soft serve. I went for the chocolate vanilla swirl, which I think is, you know, it's just classic. It's tried and true. I did a caramel drizzle. Right back on track. That was great.

Better than he does. I want to know if you got conked with a coconut. You need to get conked with a coconut. Join the club. I did a caramel drizzle. Mitch got conked with a coconut and the, the coconut broke. You know, you can conk people with Mitch's head

and it makes them forget their memory. I thought you were going to say that when the coconut fell, I, I opened my mouth and pushed my head up towards the sky and just swallowed it. And you could see it going down your neck. Like a Yoshi. Just like a Yoshi. I too got the chocolate vanilla swirl

and it comes in like those classic kid cones. Would you know what? I'm going to say that bottom cones. You make the sizzle world go round. You literally scared. You like fell off your chair. That was such a cartoonish reaction. He put his head to his heart.

You scared me. Also, I, That is going to be how you die. It's just being startled by a song. Queen parody. Do you know the funny thing is I thought the same exact thing as you were the first time you sang it. Yeah.

We're on the same connection here. Why are you so real? Yeah. We're on the wavelength. Um, the, those, those coins, those coins, those, we're thinking, I'm thinking of Mario. Those, those, those, you got me thinking of Mario. Those cones are the flat bottom cones, but we don't scare me again.

Those flat bottom ice cream containers, they, they, they hold the drips well. That's what I want to say. They, because inside those cones, like, look, they're not going to be the most, the best tasting cones, even though I do like them quite a bit. I do like how like nothing they taste. They, it's, it's, and they're the ones that like get like, they get very soft on the bottom once, once the, the leaks start coming. You can kind of like slurp the melted ice cream out of the chambers

that collect in the, which is fine. The chambers are cool. The chambers are cool. And they're not, you're not going to get a lot of leakage with those. They're more negative space than cone is part of it. They have so much, that's the way they hold, they handle the drip and well. The downside is it's a small dessert. You're not, you can't get a lot of ice cream in that cone.

Sure. But for, included with a salad bar, I mean, come on. It was great. You got a lot of other chain restaurants going to charge you extra five bucks. If you want to say small desserts, I got a comment on your tiny portion of banana pudding that you had. It looked like, like the container you would put ketchup in for like a side of fries. Yeah.

It was a very, it was a very small little container they gave you. I got a dainty portion of banana pudding with some Nilla wafers in there. What quarter portion would you say that it was? This was like, this was like eighth portion territory. Okay. I was going to, I was trying to set you up to talk like, what's this? Oh, well like Uncar Plut. Yeah, right.

Oh my God. No, I'm legitimately concerned. You're tossed to an Uncar Plut softball. Yes. Completely. I'm concerned. Yes. I think we need to call 911.

I'm fine. I'm fine with you. I'm fine. I think we need to call 911. We turn, we can't fucking settle on the AC. A little dribble of mercury is coming out of Nick's mouth right now. Mercury also in the mummy movie. Oh really?

That's how they keep the mummy in her, in her tomb. And I got to have another disclaimer. I guess people will just know they're mummy spoilers. The whole second act is just going to be a mummy spoiler. Who cares? I just said that mercury keeps the mummy in the tomb. Well, the mercury heads might be upset to not be in on that surprise. All right, so more of a mercury spoiler.

Marisa's right. That was the biggest Uncar Plut set up of all time. What the fuck is wrong with you? I think you did say what quarter portion. Yes. And I didn't, yeah, I just, I took it at face value. You're supposed to say one quarter, like in his voice. What quarter, but yeah, I should say.

He still hasn't done it, I don't think. Yeah, he hasn't. I'll do it. Is this Nick or has he been replaced? He may have been, might not know the voice. A new robotic man. That's right. It's me, Joe Saunders.

Put on, I'm wearing Weigar's skin as a suit. Oh no. No, it's, I feel disoriented. We, the AC's on, the AC's off. I can't regulate my body temperature. It's off right now. It's like, yeah, it's getting a little warm. Here, here's what I, here, fine.

It was about one quarter portion worth of. Yay. But it was really good. I thought it was good. You know, just sitting there in a big tub with some nilla wafers, but man, hey, that was a fine dessert. Nothing, no complaints there. Yeah.

My husband had that too. And he, he like, said it was one of the best banana puddings he's ever had. It was great. It was a great all around meal. We had a wonderful space. We're tipping our hats a little bit, but I do wonder what the scores will be,

because he never know. Well, you know what? He never know. He never know. I think let's find out. So Marisa, you know the show. You know, this works. We'll go around.

We'll each say our thoughts on this chain. Oh my God. I'm so thrilled. Cap it off with a fork rating. Go ahead. Okay. Well, as I mentioned before, Sizzler is a place that is near and dear to my heart.

I have a lot of fond memories, one scary memory of sitting in the wrong booth. But eating there, I was, I'm really pleased with how the restaurant has aged. I'm glad they didn't have like a massive rebrand. Like there's kind of staying like true to the core, Sizzler, that I remember from the 90s, aside from the hot bar.

But I had a great time, great food, great company, new to Shrimpies. The Shrimpies were good. The salad had a lot of crunch. It was checking off all my boxes, you know. The soft serve was great. I love doing a soft serve myself. Like that's just such a thrill.

Wow. I hadn't thought about this before. Stuff. I'm going to, four forks. Is that crazy? That's not crazy at all. I don't think it's crazy at all. I think that's a great score.

It's warm in here. That was supposed to be cool. The AC was supposed to go on and it still didn't. That's what's cool is I say it's warm in here and you turn on the air conditioning. I've never been to Sizzler. And so this was my first experience with it. Here's what I'll say.

I want to go back. I don't want to go back to a lot of these change. Even ones that I like, sometimes don't want to go back. I want to go back anytime. It was great company. Like you said, great food. The food was good.

It was genuinely good. I was shocked because everyone makes jokes about Sizzler forever. What was my one complaint? Because I had a complaint and then I, I agree with you that I like the aesthetic. I think it's good that they haven't changed it. I think it is what it is.

Was it the line? You talked about the line near the restroom. Yeah. I mean, the line near the restroom was bad. But I mean, I don't, I honestly didn't have that many complaints. I really, really, really enjoyed myself as a Sizzler newbie. Oh, and the waitress even came by and asked you, asked who, if it was their first time.

And so it was kind of like fun. It was like kind of like an experience, like kind of excited that you're like joining the Sizzler family. Joining the Sizzler team. Yeah, we were talking about, we, it almost felt like we're a part of a club to do it for the first time. I remember what my complaint was. You had a cool neck massager that you got.

And you said you were going to bring it to the record. You said you're going to bring it over here to the record and let us try it. Oh my God, I forgot. And then you forgot to bring it over. But that's a way, you can't affect that in your fork score. I won't factor that into my fork score, but that is one of the disappointment pointing things up to this day. I did bring catnip for your cats though.

You brought catnip for my cats. Super nice. I thought of that and I forgot about you guys. Irma, that's great. That's better. And you know what? Marissa, it was great to see you. One of the funniest.

Your husband Dave is one of the funniest. I had so much fun. It was such a great time. It was a great day, great food. I'm going even higher. Oh my goodness. I'm going four and a half, four. Wow.

I love you. Wow. Wow. I love Sinsler. I don't know if it was there or could it have been there, but I do. I feel moved by that. Wow. You weren't moved by the show.

It was little cold. The temperature is 15 degrees cooler. I liked it. I want to go back. I would go back to the fun. Anytime. It was great. Yeah, great.

I'm shocked. I'm shocked. I had a lot of good memories at Sinsler, but it had reached a point like Marissa was saying earlier in the show where they were just memories. And I wasn't sure if it was what I remembered it being or if that was the soft focus of nostalgia that kind of makes everything seem better and more vibrant than it was. When I returned to Sinsler, I was blown away. I was expecting a level of quality that was like, oh, okay, this is fine.

And I had great food. I was very satisfied with everything. The steak we remarked on was exceptional by chain restaurant standards, especially at that price point. The salad bar is an amazing value and it's real. They were good ingredients, fresh ingredients, well-stocked, very clean as was mentioned earlier. Cheese toast is great.

I mean, the cheese toast is just like a home run. It's not quite the Cheddar Bay biscuits, but it's that kind of tier of just like, oh, that's a thing that's always there that I know is going to be great. I like them better. Wow. That's crazy. I do. That's crazy.

Cheddar Bay biscuits too breaded, like too breaded. Too dry, yeah. Too dry, yep. Well, the cheese toast is great. They were moist. The cheese toast was very moist. It is moist and delicious. I'm not going to go that far, but the cheese toast was great.

Good drinks, good service. I don't, I'm self-conscious because I don't feel off, but I'm worried. I don't think I had anything that happened. The other day, here's what happened. The other day at work, I ate some like, like they're someone, they'd gotten some sandwiches and they were just had been sitting out for a while. And I had one of these sandwiches that had been sitting out for like four hours. And then afterwards I felt like I was having like an allergic reaction to it.

And I was just sort of like, I was like feeling like really weird. I was like having trouble breathing. Now, and then also you seem to lost your memory. Yeah. And then, and then so I had this weird reaction, this, this old sandwich. And like I got, like I, I was like, I pulled the, the, I pulled the cord on the bus and like got off the bus way before my stop and just like had to walk. What the fuck?

I was like, I got off in like West Hollywood. And I was just like, I walked like. Why did you wait so long to say this? Like, don't be shy. Yeah. If you had something scary happen. Yeah. It was, and it was like texting Natalie.

I was like, I think I'm having trouble breathing. And she was like, she was like, I think you're, I think you're having, you know, I think you're just having a panic attack. It's like, oh, maybe I have having a panic attack. And I looked up the symptoms of that. And I was like, maybe this is what's happening. Cause I felt my pulse quickening. I was like, am I just worried about something and I'm worried about something

getting worse. And so it's becoming psychosomatic. It's like a negative feedback loop. So maybe that's what happened. But like I walked like all the way from like, I walked from like Fairfax all the way to the Century City shopping center. Holy fuck. Oh my God.

It's like like five miles. Yeah. I walked so far. I walked for like four hours. And then I got there. That can take like an hour in your car. And then I walked there and then I felt okay. And then I got on another bus and I took the bus home.

Jesus wiger. But I was like, I was like, is that, I don't feel different. But is that why I'm feel, I seem different. Like I have this, I had this weird like sort of experience. And I've just been kind of like foggy and disoriented ever since then. I'm glad you opened up. Thank you for sharing. I don't know.

I mean, I don't want, it's glad that Marisa got to hang out with you again before you die. But is it like, oh look, this was what, what, what, the point I was getting to with that is I'm sorry if I, to everyone listening, if I, if I seemed a little off and, and disconnect today, I'm not trying to do that. I'm sorry to you guys. Have I seemed weird last night? I didn't, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to seem that way. I kind of a weird guy in general. And sometimes I have. That's for sure. So I just, I come across that way. I'm not trying to be an old sandwiches. I mean, that's the craziest part of you. It was just like sitting on the counter.

It was like, like work was over. I just like had the sandwich and then like left. Like I was like, why did I do that? Who's sandwich? I mean, how it was from lunch. They don't, it was like a lunch order. They'd like ordered lunch for the whole crew and it was just sort of sitting there. But yeah, I probably should have, it should have been put in the fridge.

I shouldn't have eaten it. But at any event, I did that long rambling road. What it's saying is that I don't think I have a foggy memory of this meal last night. That is crisp and clear. And as far as I am concerned, this was a wonderful experience. I will happily return to this place. Welcome to the Golden Play Club, Sizzler, for Forks. Wow.

Oh my God. Congratulations. Congratulations. What a thrill. I'm the only, I went higher. I went higher than you guys. Hey, you know, that's totally fair. Partial, partial handholding club and then ballpark clubs.

I think you liked being able to see the bathroom. You didn't seem like it was a bad thing. You sick fuck. I like, I liked that guy's butt. I also want to say, Nick, you got a baked potato. I did. And I don't know if you mentioned it, but I didn't. I didn't come to the big potato.

Not no sour cream, but still a good baked potato. There was, there was a weird sauce with the Malibu chicken that was like this yellow sauce. It kind of almost looked like a hollandaise sauce, which seemed weird, but maybe that's what it was. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't love it. Oh, honey mustard. I think it was maybe more of a hollandaise.

I don't know. It was strange, but I didn't, I didn't use it much and it wasn't great. But, but it was like a, it was just an extra. It was an added bonus, I feel. Right. Great. Wow.

I love Sizzler. That's Sizzler. Great place to go. I love it. Great choice. It's time for a regular segment. We've got a bunch of chips and we're going to eat them all. This is Chips and Hale, Rest U Rangers.

Bag too big, no bag too small. When you've got chips, just call. Ch-ch-ch-chips and hail. Rest U Rangers, Chips and Hale. You know it never fails once we're involved. Somehow these chips will eat them all. Ch-ch-ch-chips and hail. All right.

I like that you, there was one line that you just didn't make a parody of. Here's the thing. There's a part where it's like, there's kind of a, there's, it's, it wouldn't be the primary singer singing it. It would be like, like a chorus echoing them. And I was like, should I just leave a space there? And so I just left a space, but it was a little awkward.

I should have made a choice. You could have given us some sheet music. We would have joined it. Yeah, I should have given you guys something. Would be your chorus. Did you write that song before after your, your sandwich? I thought you were going to say, did you write that song before after we started doing this podcast?

I've had this in the opera for years. Just waiting for justification. No, we, we did this. So we did the second one before and we got the episode. I know we did it before, yeah. So we've got Mitch, someone sent these to us. I don't know, do you know who this was? It came with an invoice.

There's a, there's a paper right there. There's an invoice, but the invoice, I don't think he had a name on it. So you want to hand them down to me, I'll read them off. And Nick, you can tell, say who it's from. So these are basically- This is from Gibran Kutik. And they're, they're wrap snacks.

He sent us a bunch of wrap snacks. Gibran Kutik sounds like a friend of Unkar Plutt. Regular Tatooine citizen. I'm sure he's thrilled to send us these chips and then hear that he's a Star Wars character. What did he, did he have a note within that, within that, within there? Highlighted it, said,

thank you for buying from Ken's Mart on Amazon Marketplace. I don't, I don't know if you want to just give us a Ken's Mark plug. So, but Ken's Mart. Well, thanks, thanks for sending these chips. What's his name again? Gibran Kutik. Thank you, Gibran.

So wrap snacks. Right here I have a bag of wavy, little boozies, Louisiana heat, wavy potato chips. What are you, what are you holding, Marissa? I'm holding the barbecue in with my honey, Romeo Miller. Romeo Millers. What the hell? Is that a rat man?

Yes. Is that little Romeo grown up or is that a different Romeo? Oh, I don't know. Is, I don't know. I have no idea either. Dustin, do you know if Romeo Miller is a little Romeo? Dustin doesn't know. You have a computer right in front of you.

I don't want to look it up. Are these like available in the stores? I'm a real chip, chip freak. So I have never seen these. I've seen these around, yeah. You've seen these around? Well, let me tell you. Suggested retail price 35 cents.

Not bad. Price to sell. I've got myself the Honey Jalapeno Fettiwap chips. Little thing from Fettiwap. And I've also got the Migos sour cream with a dab of ranch. That's fun. They sound really good. Nick, is there any more than that?

I think there's one more here. See if I can reach this one. Okay, this is, oh, we've also got the Fabulous, oh, Fabulous. Fabulous, New York, deli cheddar, wavy potato chips. Christ. Let's see if these taste fabulous. Is there anything else in the brown bag or not? We've got these Star Wars fruit snacks.

As you said, we bought these for another segment and you said you ate one of them already. And by one, I mean three. I saved enough for an individual treats for each person. This is fun. Each of them has a quote on the back from the wrapper. It's not specifically a chip related quote, but this one says,

my pops taught me to keep your head on straight and do what you love. That's nice. So wait, who said that? Was that Romeo? That's Romeo. Well, then maybe that is little Romeo because his dad is, what's his name?

William Shakespeare. No, his, oh God, hold on. His name is Romeo Miller. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. I just tasted the Fabulous, New York, deli cheddar chip. I thought this was pretty damn good. I mean, it's kind of a barbecue, more barbecue concept than deli, then cheddar actually,

but I thought that was pretty tasty. I'm going to dig into this Romeo Miller now. This is the barbecue and with my honey. So we'll see how this compares as a barbecue. Master P. I have a bad memory. I know that it was Master P son and he is little Romeo. I'm having a bite of the Romeo Miller barbecue and with my honey right now.

That one's a very sweet, sweet barbecue flavor. This New York deli cheddar is very good. It's really good. I like the ruffle, the ripple on that a lot. I love a ripple. Yeah, I love a ripple chip. Yeah, the Romeo Miller's are fine. They're pretty sweet for my taste.

I'm going to open up the Migos ones right now. What are you eating over there, Mitch? I mean, little booze. He's Louisiana heat. He says on the back, sometimes you need those bad days because it helps you truly appreciate the good ones. I like these. These are good.

I like these ones. These are very good. Now I'm trying Fabulous's New York deli cheddar. They all seem to kind of have that kind of like barbecue undertone. Yeah, speaking of which, I just had the honey jalapeno fettiwap. I might have to need to have more than one of these to tell just how spicy they are. Well, it does have a little bit of heat.

It has a little bit of heat more as an aftertaste. Yeah, but they're also pretty sweet. The Migos sour cream with a dab of ranch, which I also had a second ago. Those are probably my least favorite of the bunch. I don't think there's anything particularly outstanding about them. I mean, they're just sort of like... Which ones?

The Migos sour cream ones with a dab of ranch. Is this what fettiwap looks like? Yeah, I think he famously has one eye, is my understanding. I find that to be a little scary on a chip bag. If you don't know who fettiwap is, this could look like it's a little spooky. It is a little scary. He's on the back, too. He's not smiling.

Can you see him on the back? Does it look accurate? Migos says, Dabbin is a lifestyle, is their quote. Oh, these little boozies, Louisiana heat, have some real heat to them. They're pretty good. You know what's weird is that these bags, and I'm not sure... They're just like wildly different sizes. And I don't know if that's related to the album sales of each individual rapper.

But like, little boozies is a giant bag. Migos is a tiny little fun size bag. You were saying 35 cents. The ones I just... This one is 50 cents. The Migos ones. This one's a dollar. And that one's a dollar.

The fabulous. They're all over the place, just in the design of the bags. All of them have like kind of an illustration, a graphic illustration of the rapper who, I guess, invented the chip. Yeah. He'll give them that much credit. That's my assumption. But the style of them is all kind of different.

I'm going after these honey jalapeno fettiwap snacks. I think I've eaten everything at this point. With the little boozies, with the Romeo's, with the fabulous, with the Migos. These are very good. Yeah, they're... These are all quite good. Should we rate? Should we rate each of them?

Wrap or crap? Yeah, you know, honestly, I think I'd go wrap with everything except for the Migos, which to me, we're just sort of like underwhelming as a sour cream chip goes. And I think Migos, I probably like the guy's Migos. Wait, what do Migos do? Well, I need Romeo still. You said this one you thought was a little sweet. The barbecue with my honey.

You know what, that's true. Romeo, I'm going to give... I'm going to put a little Romeo in the crap, the crap bucket as well. Also, we can have better categories. This is like what a dad would say, wrap or crap. Jesus. I think it's fine. That reminds me of the old when Kurt Hennig wrestled with WCW.

Actually, Master P was at... Master P and the No Limit Soldiers had a little run where they were wrestling in the WCW. And Kurt Hennig, formerly Mr. Perfect when he was... When WWE had an anti-rap gimmick for a time. It was really weird. But he had... He like, he recorded his own country single that was Wrap Is Crap. I hate crap, wrap is crap.

I hate wrap. Wrap is crap. We're still listening to this. Every morning when he's getting ready. It's the first dance at our wedding. I'm going to give them all... Oh, that's good. It's got to be...

Wait, isn't there a hip hop award? A source award. I'm going to give them all source awards. Wow. Each one of these I liked a lot. I didn't dislike any of them. Which one would be your favorite? Which one is the one you'd give the...

They're all nominated. Which one's the one you would give the award to? I liked the Fetty Waps, the Honey Hallopedia, but then I also liked the Louisiana Heat a lot. The Louisiana Heat is the one that I think that I would give the source award to. Yeah, I think I'd... If I had to pick one to get a source lifetime achievement award,

I would give it to Lil Boosie's Louisiana Heat. I agree. Because it's got like a definitive amount of heat. And I really do like that in a chip that's got some real spice to it. It's a perfect amount of heat that doesn't kind of overwhelm your palate, but you kind of like want to keep eating. I'm just... Have you guys had the...

It's like a Louisiana... I guess it's like a Cajun-style chip. It's like dill and a lot of heat. That's currently my favorite chip. That kind of reminds me of that, but that one's a little bit more pickley. Dill and heat. Here's what I like.

Yeah, it's really, really good. From New Orleans, the Voodoo Chips. We have Voodoo Chips, which are half salt and vinegar, half barbecue. Well, that's crazy. They're my favorite chips. Maybe that's kind of a New Orleans thing. Because that one... It's like a pickle chip, but with a lot of heat.

So that's kind of like vinegar and spice. And so is that vinegar and spice. It's close. I mean, everyone wanted us to try all dress chips, which we did finally on this... I do like those all dress a lot. And it's kind of similar to that in some ways, but just a little bit different.

Overwhelming flavors. Really good. It was... They're so good. But I liked everyone... They all get... If we want to put it into snack or whack terms, I'd say these are all snacks that I liked all of them.

Let's not agonize over rapper crap when our most longest running segment is called snack or whack. That's true. I liked every single one of these. Thank you. Thank you for selling them. Those are great. Rap snacks or snacks for sure.

Just like a restaurant without your feedback, let's open up the feedback. Today's email comes to us from Danielle Larizio. Danielle writes, I just graduated from college and started my first big girl job in Boston. Hey, Mitch. Surrounding my office are various fast casual dining places, sweet green and the like.

Given my astronomical student loan debt and my low starting salary, I really can't afford to buy lunch like at all, even though it would be so easy. To cope with this, I bought a little lunch box on Amazon to bring my own lunch. But honestly, the thought of eating refrigerated cold cut sandwiches, I made at 6 a.m. makes my stomach turn and never fills me up.

Dough boys, how do you try to make your own lunches and meals more enticing? Trying to ball out on a budget here. Marissa, you work a lot of writing jobs. A lot of times there's a lunch order going on. What is your lunch work strategy? Were you ever someone who would bring lunch from home? I used to work at the soup, the show on E.

Oh, right. And that was that we had to bring our own lunch from home. And I always had like a can of soup and like a hunk of bread or something like that that was really easy to do. Well, you said you worked on the soup? The soup, yeah. And did you say you brought soup? And I brought soup, yeah.

Yeah. And you would bring a little slice of bread to your bed? Yeah, a little slice of bread or like a half of like a baguette or something like that. For I think typically you're supposed to have a salad, right? Like that's the way to kind of like keep calories down and kind of stay on a healthy track. I have the hardest time eating a cold lunch.

Oh, I can see that. I like to have a hot meal. I like, I am the same. I like, I like, I usually like hot sandwiches over cold sandwiches. Here's what I think you can do. I think the soup idea is great as a side because you can just nuke a soup, microwave a soup when I say nuke, that's what I mean.

And that's like, there's a hot component there. It feels like something like that. It's tricky. We're talking specifically for you on a budget. Well, and that's the thing about a can of soup. I mean, even like a nice can of soup, it's maybe like 250. And so as far as like saving money, I think that's a pretty good way to go.

Yeah, that's a good idea. What's her name again? Danielle. Danielle, I think, I think that what you should do is save one day to eat out. You should, you should. Oh, maybe for a Friday. Yeah, Friday.

You should eat out. And then the other other advice is lean into colder stuff. Like you can either do, like for me, like a peanut butter and jelly or something is something I like. I know that's a child's sandwich. But I'm saying there are some things that you're going to like that are colder than other than things that you don't like colder.

If you don't like cold cuts, there's ways to work around that. Or I was going to say, take your sandwich, go and take your sandwich out of the fridge like an hour before lunch. Let it get to room temperature. I know that that seems weird, but I've done that before. I don't like like an extra cold. Like if I'm eating a cold cut sandwich,

I just take it out like 30 minutes or 40 minutes before I eat. And then it's kind of like four or five hours if you want to just wander the streets for a little while. You want to go on a vision quest. Yeah, no, I agree with what you guys are saying. Soup is something I actually wouldn't have thought of. I never thought of bringing soup because it's very, very creative. I am a salad guy when I bring food from home.

I admire that so much. I mean, that's tough. Yeah. But what I would say is you can always do, find ways to like liven up whatever food you brought. And I would say take stock of the tools that are available in your work kitchen. Nick, I was just thinking of this.

Because there's there, I will say one thing, our work kitchen for some reason has a panini press. Yes. And so if that's like a thing that I don't know if you're, I don't know what your job is. I don't know what your work kitchen has, but if you have some sort of tool there, there's maybe a way you can jazz up your cold lunch.

Or you could do this if you want to do, if you want to invest. And I'm sure that you get one from pretty cheap or maybe even your work has one. A foreman grill is basically a panini press. Sure. And then you could, like you're saying, yeah, bring something and stash it. Yeah, you prep a panini type sandwich.

You can plug that in at your desk in your power strip. For sure. Just be a one woman panini station. That's a good way to make friends too. People will start coming to your little cubicle and they'll start pressing sandwiches. She just like started this new job. I mean, that's you'll be the most popular person in the office

if you're busting out a George Foreman grill. That's true. Yeah, but they, yeah, you can, there are probably ways you can jazz up with some of the tools that are available to you at work. And then I would also say, make yourself something that you like. Like for me, it's even though it costs extra, it makes my salad so much better

if I have like avocado with it. And just like bring an avocado, you know, or sometimes in my workplace. You don't have to, would you have a refrigerator, right? Yeah, you know, you can save half within the crisper drawer for the next day if you have a work fridge that you can share. I would just like try to try to think of things that you like.

And it sounds like you don't like cold cut sandwiches. So maybe think of something other than cold cut sandwiches. Something that you don't like. Yeah. It's so important to like have those little things that like help you get through the day that maybe it's even less about having like a traditional lunch at lunchtime

and more about having like lots of fun little snacks throughout the day to kind of like keep you going. Like you have like a little like apple and peanut butter to have at 11 and then maybe at one, you have like another little thing. If you like nuts, you know, just to kind of like, I don't know, keep the day interesting because the time really drags like sometimes

when you're just at like a regular work day. Yeah. And when lunch is over, you're just like, can I give nothing, look forward to? Right. I don't know. Yeah, I agree. And if you have coconuts, don't hang them above your desk.

Don't let them fall under your head. You can hang them above your enemy's desk. Yeah, that's true. Be an effective way to... You're almost applying, I did this to wire. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcastsgmail.com.

Together, Dowboys Double, our weekly bonus episodes. Subscribe at patreon.com slash dowboys. Marissa Pinson. I'm sad it's over. I'm sad it's over too. We can go to Sizzler anytime. It's like down the street for me. I can walk there.

We should go back. Happy to meet you guys. Did you walk last night? I did. Yeah, it was great. After going to Costco with my heavy haul of a massager. I know. You gotta go.

The next time you come back, you're bringing that massager. I will. I used to last night. It was awesome. Wait, so Mitch, it looks like you've already booked Marissa for next week. Just a massage for me, which is really weird. I could buy one.

It's at Costco, like you said. Yeah. I'll buy one. Yeah, great to have you. We'll have to have you back soon. Do you have anything you would like to plug at this time? I guess I'd like to plug that massager that I got from Costco. It was $99 with the Costco membership.

The retail at regular stores is like $170. Oh, wow. It's a, I think it's true health. It's a chiatsu massage. It's great. I can become a Costco. I'm not a Costco member. Oh, you gotta do it.

It's so fun. Just don't go when it's crowded. Like stay away from all the weekends. And otherwise, it's a dream. Don't you need to be incited by a Costco person? No, it's not like a club or something. No, it's not like La Cosa Nostra. It's just an organization.

You pay a membership fee. It's like $40 a year. Oh, really? It's like the stone cutters. Oh. Yeah. No, you should join. I love it.

I feel like I'm going on an adventure every time I'm at Costco. Like I have a quest to, and then there are little side quests because I get, I go on little tangents of like, oh, OK, I know I need to get toilet paper and paper towels and cashews. But they're like, you know, like, oh, wait, now there's some unexpected, you know, there's a sale on a plasma screen TV or something.

It's like, oh, that's a thing I'm going to consider. Absolutely. I mean, I did not walk into Costco planning on getting $100 massager. That just happened. And that's what you're going to expect if you go to Costco. Other than that, Angie Tribeca is streaming on Hulu, I think. So if people want to catch up on that, they can watch that.

Awesome. Check that out. Marissa, you're one of the funniest. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for having me. We're going to have you back soon. And we're going to get Dave on here, too. Yeah.

Yeah, he's great. Yeah. I hope you're feeling better. I feel fine. I got self-conscious about it because you guys were saying I was being weird. Nick, what are you doing? Nick's picking up a sandwich that's been on my table

for like three weeks. Why has a sandwich been on your table for three weeks? I'm lazy. I can't resist. No loop for this episode of No Boys, and until next time, for The Spoon Man, I'm Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weigar.

Happy eating. See ya.