Doughboys - Smashburger with Carlos Santos

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

Carlos Santos (Spanish Aquí Presents, Gentefied) joins the 'boys to discuss fitness and Fresno before a review of Smashburger. Plus, a brand new segment, Wigerdle. Sources for this week's intro: https://ifranchise.ph/tony-tan-caktiong/ https://www.forbes.com/profile/tony-tan-caktiong/?sh=f3d4c511a25f https://youtu.be/Awlo-5_V-yM https://mentalitch.com/the-history-of-smashburger/ https://smashburger.com/about/Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig in to your data. Really dig in there, anytime, to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow.

Why is restaurant owners enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on all orders, offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement? Wow, 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click. Or if you're on your phone, use your finger and click that link. Click that link in the episode description. Then in 1975, at the age of 22, Tony Tan Cocktiong opened an ice cream parlor in Quezon City, Philippines. Not even he could foresee it would one day make him a billionaire. But

today, Cocktiong's empire spans three continents and 6,000 restaurants, Asia's largest fast food company. A few years after opening, Cocktiong's Creamery added hot food to appease customer demand and was rebranded as Jollibee. And as Jollibee expanded beyond its burger, spaghetti, fried chicken, and sweet treat origins into other concepts, it became one fried wing of Jollibee Foods Corporation and the affiliated and phenomenally named Double Dragon Properties Corporation. In addition to founding successful new Philippines-based chain restaurants such as Greenwich Pizza and Red Rib and Bakery, Jollibee also partnered with and acquired global brands. Cocktiong's Corporation manages the Filipino operations of Burger King, Panda

Express and Yoshinoya, and wholly owns American Coffee Chain, the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. And in 2015, Jollibee made its boldest venture stateside, acquiring 40% of a U.S. burger joint founded in Colorado in 2007. Originally conceived by Rick Shaden and Tom Ryan, two veterans of the chain restaurant industry who'd collectively served tours at McDonald's, Quiznos, and Pizza Hut, the brand was cannelly crafted as a cash-in on the then emerging Artisan Fast Casual burger trend. Through higher quality product and gimmicks like partnering with celebrity chefs for seasonal offerings, the hamburger expanded beyond the Rockies in short order, and today has swelled to nearly 400 locations. In 2018, Jollibee Foods Corporation

acquired the remaining 60% of the concept, adding full ownership of the brand to Tonytown Cocktiong's ever-growing portfolio. But will it continue to be the smashing success promised by its name? This week on Doe Boys, Smash Burger. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weigher, along with my co-host, Lil Gas X, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Hmm. Lil Gas X. As in Lil Nas X. No, I got it. From Nick and Jill, Love from Chicago, roastspoonman at gmail.com.

That was a duo insult. A collab. Co-writers. Wow. Wow. To a writing team registered with the WGA, had to get together to put that one together. Well, kindly fuck you both. Ha ha ha ha. Ugh. Mitch, what's your headspace like? You're finally out of Palmerston. This has been a long time coming.

I'm out of Palmerston finally. I basically just got out today. I mean, as of this recording, I'm out of there. It feels like the coalition forces withdrawing from Afghanistan has been your timetable for leaving Palmerston. It's been very dragged out. It feels like you've been moving for a while. Yeah. It's been, it's been very, it's been very dragged out. Look, it was the sort of thing where I was like, I'll do, I'll have time to do this.

Like, yeah, I'll just, you know, I'll slowly do this over the course of a month. Then, you know, it got down to the last couple of days and I had to get out of there within a couple of days and I fucked up and I was there till midnight, my last day in the place. Dutton helped me. I filmed something with Dutton and Dutton helped me move out of there. There was a lot of, he was a lot of help. So, but no, it was a slow process, Wikes, but I'm out and I, you know, it's cleaned up, not a grain of kitty litter is left in there. And now we just get a wrecked. We get a, not a grain. I mean, there's got to be time to show. There's a few grains. Okay.

Now we just got to erect a statue, something, you and I erecting something is not a, it's not really our realm, but we'll try to, we'll try to erect a little, a little monument for us there in front of Palmerston. Are you thinking like a pewter figurine? Like, what do you think? I was thinking like a big, like a big gold plaque. Oh, like a plaque. Okay. So not like a statue. There could be a statue of me. I kind of like that. Okay. What do you think?

I'll just say, I think that statue's coming down. I think. You think it's like a Saddam situation? I think that's going to happen. Someone's going to put the American flag over your face and then attach it to an Humvee, pull it down. Maybe they'll just, maybe they'll just, uh, transport it up to Bob's big boy and it will be, uh, it will be used there. Bob, Bob's let himself go with a big boy. He's in the treadmill.

Hey, I'm walking. I got a little walk. You are walking. I'm not going to tell you about my walking crew. I'm doing, we're doing move. And the, in the, in the, uh, the dose scored. We've talked about this. That's correct. For people who aren't in, uh, involved in our Patreon at all, we have, on our Patreon, we have the platinum plate club tier, which gives you access to our dose score to discord server. And within that small community of a lunatics, we are doing move M O O V E, which is a fitness app we've probably talked about.

Actually, it's not even an app. It's just a website at this point. We've talked about it on the podcast and it's kind of fantasy, fantasy sports where you bet on yourself, but it's got both of us moving a little bit, which is good. Yeah. Every day I get a text from Ramon, aka John Adams saying, don't fuck us every day. Just saying, don't fuck us. And I'm like, yeah, damn it. I'll go fucking walk around my block. Just leave me alone. Being guilty. Because you're part of a team. You're part of a team. So your personal performance affects Ramon D and your other, uh, teammates.

I'm on Ramon D LD, Dano's team. We've got a good crew. Wow. Duncan. Wow. Other people too, but you're not getting named because I'm going to forget one of you. So no one else gets named. Wigs, a sequel to a movie you and I saw together, Death on the Nile. I was looking at the cast list for Death of the Nile. And me thinks, me knows who committed the crime. Really? You think there's some clues in the cast list? Well, Armie Hammer's on there.

Oh boy. Okay. How is it not Armie Hammer? I think sort of a fiction, imitates reality sort of thing. I mean, it's gotta be, right? Wouldn't you? That's like, because his last name is a murder weapon. Is that it? That too. But if we were like on like a, uh, you and I were on a boat and there was a bar pizza, actually you could eat it too. Yeah.

But I'm just saying I was, I would be looked at as the guy who did it, right? Yeah. Who ate the turkey sub that was just kind of hanging out here? Well, the dough boys, everyone's fingers pointed out them. And you know what? That's the answer. And we'll do it again. Yeah. We'll do it again. Professor Clousseau. Is that who it is? Something like that. Is that the last movie we saw together? I mean, we don't see movies often together anyways. We saw Mission Impossible together, but I don't think that was, no, we didn't,

didn't we see Fallout in 40X? We saw it with the rumble seats, remember? We saw it with the rumble seats. We saw the rumble seats and then I spilled my drink. I gotta get back into a run. Yeah. I spilled my drink during the trailer and was just sitting in liquid. For two hours and 30 minutes. During the trailer.

Yeah. I didn't expect 40X during the, during the coming attractions. No, the, the four, was the 40X on? Um, I'm going to say yes. I gotta get back into a 40X seat. It's been too long. Yeah. Uh, 4XL and 40X. That's kind of my, those are my big go-tos. Wigs, I gotta drop.

Do you? I'm going to play. I've just been, it's been a crazy day. I've been running all over the place. My computer fucking shut down. Right. It's just, it's a lot, but we got a lot of good, we got a lot of good stuff to talk about today. Or do we? Sure do. Is it good?

Oh, we'll see. We have a, we have a good guest at minimum. That's true. How the hell to Spoon Nation? Wigs. And here is a little timely drop. Also, it's two minutes long. So, oh boy, prepare everyone.

Here we go. They are. Duh boys. Eating fast food. Shelving it down. Doing it for who? The show's so bad. Never been good.

Can't figure out why it's ballet who. You know, they're just protecting the turd. Got Gabriel Santana here working as sucks. The guys don't care about the double. They're just here to write the podcast bubble. Well, they call him Spoon Man and he likes cats. Wally and Irma are more than just pets. He says it's fine that when he dies, they make a feast of his squinty eyes.

The thought of the devil can get him queasy. Or scare him all the way back to Quincy. He didn't come here looking for dope boys. But viewers had enough of the birthday boys. There's Emma Urbrink, producer world class. Roll up a fatty then puff puff pass. The birds all day and smokes all night. Only your suspension don't got a light.

Now you saw Lou did nothing wrong. Cornell grab whose life wasn't long. We miss him bad, but you're not dosed. That's just the sound of you song's ghost. They say Wiger ain't a man. More robotic than a seedling fan. Personality like an oldie and teacher. Watch out.

Something of a heat seeker. Oh my god. Oh, there's some booze at least. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Mitchie Zabell used to row crew. Wiger, Emma, and you sang Lou.

R.I.P. How much longer can they last? We need more eds of the bread cast. Before we go, got one last query. For the man behind scene. Any truth to the reported blog of sonic eating for botnet talk? One, two, three, four. Look, the minions like getting wet in a while.

Wow. Jesus Christ. Tell me it was worth it. You know, while that drop was playing, I watched the entirety of Death on the Nile. Man. Is it army? It's, well, I don't want to spoil anything,

but there might also be a finger pointing at Euphemia Buk. And also Kenneth Bronog, who directed this film, his character is Hercules Poirot. Poirot. Poirot. That's right. Yes. Poirot.

I want to see more adventures of Poirot. I think we're going to get them. I think they're going to keep making them. Bronog likes directing them. He likes starring them. He likes playing the character. And Agatha Christie is evergreen. Death in a jail cell about Epstein's murder.

Open and shut cases if you ask me. Let's not investigate that. While Poirot is on the side of the Poirot bottom. So everything is fine here. Nothing happened. Everything looks fine. Nothing is wrong. Suicide.

It says the Washington Post reported it's a suicide. Security guard took a little nap. It's okay. I don't know. It sounded like triumph in so comic dog. Hi Drop King and gang. Here's a big game related drop. It's way too long.

That's true. But such is life. That's not true. Keep up the good work. And I'm serious about more episodes of the broadcast. Wow. What does that mean? Signed a Prague expat originally from Iowa.

Next time he's on Ask Paul Rust for his opinion on Come and Go. K-U-M and Go. The chain. Yes. At Taylor Byrne. T-A-Y-L-O-R-B-E-R-N. Then he lists all the lyrics here. Which of course I'm not going to read that again.

Too long. Should be 30 seconds or under. There's another longer one we're going to play in a week too. But just know that this was a Super Bowl themed one. So it got a pass. The Super Bowl themed one got it. So you made an exception to the long established rule. And you're going to make another exception immediately.

The next week. Yeah. Okay. Better be worth it. Why is the Super Bowl? Bengals. Bengals and let's get our guest in here. Maybe we can talk Super Bowl.

I actually don't know if our guest is a sport at all. We're going to find out with us today an actor and comedian from Spanish hockey presents. And Netflix is hentafied. Carlos Santos is here. Hi Carlos. What's up? What's up?

Carlos, did you feel yourself age during that Spoon Man drop? A lot of feelings. I just kept thinking of like the Paula Abdul song, Opposite the Track. There was just a lot of... Yeah. I was wondering, was he singing it in a different voice? Was it just Taylor? Was that just you?

Or was there different people? Because it'd be like, then Weigher does the other thing. And then it was like, no, I have a deeper voice. Like it felt like different people or he was just doing a deeper voice. I thought he was taking on an affectation for different parts of the song. Got it. Got it. Because also I would just say like, inferring from that track that was put together,

I don't think this guy has a lot of friends. So I know who he's asking to help him out. Taylor, it's Taylor. I was calling him Taylor. Taylor. Taylor, sorry, but you know it's true. Yeah, you know it's true. You're listening to this podcast.

Carlos, before we were starting, you were talking about you had some success with your fitbit. We were talking a little bit of fitness on the podcast via the move, but you've been using this fitbit, which I believe our producer Emma also has. And that's worked really well for you health wise. That really changed it up last year at the beginning of 2021. I had like a month to get ready for a show for Hentify for the second season. And unfortunately I had, I had amassed a lot of eating hours during the pandemic, if you want to call it that.

And then on top of that, I went home to see my family. So on top of that, it was holiday eating on top of the pandemic eating. And when I got back January 5th, I was like, so I ended up losing like 20 pounds. And I don't even have a lot of time, but it was very sustainable because what I did is I got, I also got, which I didn't tell you, I got a food and sensitivity test. So I started with that in November. So I figured out all the things that were bloating me and figure out all the things that. So I did an experiment.

So I took all that stuff out and I just wanted to go hard on the paint just for that month. And then, but I think the game changer for me was finally having a relationship with how much I'm burning versus how much I'm eating, which I didn't have before. And that changed it because what I did is I worked really hard for the first two months of the year. And then I coasted. It was so easy to maintain the weight that I lost for the rest of the year, just by kind of coasting. And I did it enough and I tracked the food and I tracked the macros and I did all that stuff.

And every day I was learning something new. I like absorbed, I just went on YouTube and I learned a lot of stuff. So I just basically did it to myself. What essentially you would do when you train with somebody, right? Like a trainer would tell you to do these things. I was like, no, I want to, I want to know what's up. So I started learning about working out more specifically like what to do. Because it was still, everything was shut down.

So I had like free weights and I just needed to, and I did it. I got in shape and then, but the craziest thing is that I've always, which I also told you earlier, it's always been yoyoing for me in terms of like getting in shape and not, but this is the first year and going into my second year of the best shape that I've been consistently, which I haven't had to do any crazy diet or crazy anything. I've just been kind of like chilling now where we're now over the holidays. I just gained like seven pounds, which would have been disastrous in the end in terms of because I kept working out, but I also didn't limit myself.

So now I just say, it's bulking. I'm bulking guys. It's bulking season. Right. You said you stopped on January for the, you got back here on January. What was it? I got back from, I went to see my family for holiday break and then I got back in the first week of January.

So then I weighed myself. I was like, oh, this is not terrible. So now I've lost like six or seven pounds, but like from working out. So it's like body recomposition. And so I just took January this month again to kind of re-up. But now with the knowledge that I've met. So it's just been like really successful. I'm really excited to tell everybody about it.

Because it's something that's very sustainable, which I didn't have before. That's rad. And that, that's, that's the dream. January 5th to the dough boys, by the way, it's kind of like a Christmas Eve. Special day. Eagly waiting the next morning. Can't sleep. Carla, so, so you're, so wait, so what specifically are you doing?

Are you just counting? It sounds like it's more in depth than just counting calories. Yeah. It's more, it's more tracking the macros for me. What's the most important that I realized is that I just want to make sure that I get the most important thing is the amount of protein for the day, which means that when I work out, if I go a certain amount over my weight to help to make sure that everything's fed and everything kind of just falls under.

So what that naturally does is you look for food that's good. It's not like a diet thing. It's like, oh no, I could, I could have this like, I could have pork rinds, for example, some really good pork rinds. And for 60 calories, you can get like 11 grams of protein for just like a serving of it. And that's a snack better than eating like Doritos. And like, there's some really good brands. So I've just been searching like for, for like snacks and foods and things that kind of like,

but the idea is that I'm not so focused on Carlos. What? Nothing is better than Doritos. Come on. I know, but if you want to, it's different. It's a good alternative. Chicharrones, chicharrones. Yeah, chicharrones.

Oh, is that, is that because it is actually just like pork skin basically fried pork skin? It's protein until Doritos comes out with a protein Doritos then. That is wild. To think that that is, you don't think about that with pork rinds. No, 100%. You really don't. No, it wasn't, it certainly wasn't interpreted that way until like, you know, like basically the turn of the century.

I think if back in the day it was like, oh, this is like a trashy and healthy food, but no, it's actually pretty, you know, you're not getting carbs out of it. You're just getting protein and fats. Maybe they could do a Doritos flavor to chicharron. And I think that would be everything that we all need. That would fucking rule. Oh man, blast some dust on that. That'd be great.

Blast some dust. That's what they do. That's what they do in those factories. The last. Jesus. Commence dust blasting. Some union guy pulls a lever and everything gets dusted. Sounds like something a really old person would do.

Blast and dust. They're one job. You could either be a Walmart greeter or a duster. Carlos, I was going to ask as someone who, and I'm from California, and when we talked previously, when we guested on Spanish Hockey Presents, we talked about Fresno a little bit. And I thought you were from SoCal, but you actually are from Puerto Rico and then ended up going to Fresno State.

What was that transition like? And I'm curious, because Fresno is like one of the most dumped upon cities I feel like in America. Especially back in the day, I think it's gotten a little better. Yeah, 100%. But it was kind of a punchline, but what was that experience like? So I grew up in Puerto Rico, and after my freshman year of college, I decided to go into the exchange program.

I wanted to leave. I wanted to go and keep in mind that at that point, I still didn't know how I was going to do what I wanted to do. I always wanted to do comedy. I always wanted to do acting, but I didn't grow up in a household that had everybody who was teachers, lawyers, dentists. Sure. I didn't have that.

So I knew that I had to leave. And I was actually computer engineering my freshman year of college, which is ridiculous. Because it makes no sense. But that's what I was. So I went into the exchange program, and they gave you five options. I did the national exchange program. And I did homework for just the first two schools.

So I originally thought, oh, at least I'll get to Florida, because it's close enough. It feels like a good transition. And then I just put random codes after. You put codes for schools. And then I found out that I got my third choice, which was Fresno. So I was like, eh? But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

It was such a weird way to go from Puerto Rico to Fresno. Everybody was like, Fresno. But it really worked out. I switched over to theater arts. I started doing stand-up. I got into improv. Like everything happened in Fresno. And when I graduated, I moved to LA.

And I didn't look back. But I will say, because I left Puerto Rico, and it was such a, it is a camp. I mean, I probably, is it still considered a campus town? Do you think you guys know? Fresno? I don't know. Yeah, it used to be.

Like a lot of the action was based around the school. So when I was there, this was like 15, 16 years ago, I honestly couldn't tell because I was in the dorms. You know, I was just like having this experience. I just left, you know, Puerto Rico was on my own. I was like, by myself for the first time. So I didn't really pick up on that. But then when I moved to LA, and then I came back to visit Fresno,

I was like, oh, okay, I see. I see the difference now. Yes. The difference in just like everything. But you know, I think it was, it was good for me. Well, that's what I like revisiting a college town or whatever. And you're like, oh, it's kind of shitty. It just has like a bar and a few other, you know what I mean?

Like it has a pizza place and a bar. And then it's filled with students as the whole. Nick, except for you, UCLA is very much feels like in Los Angeles. I guess any city school. Yeah, there's kind of, I mean, you're kind of, you know, there's Westwood Village, which is kind of its own walkable neighborhood near campus that is kind of its own thing. But yeah, I definitely was, I definitely was just like in LA

when I was at UCLA. And the, wait, but while you're at Fresno State, because I'm curious, is there, what's the food scene? Because this is not just your introduction to, you know, college is your introduction to the U.S., right? This is your first time living in the U.S.? The first time living by myself, yeah. By yourself, okay.

So you're in, and I apologize, the main line U.S. And so you're in continental U.S. And so you're in the food scene in Fresno. Like what is that like? What are you, what are you like outside of the dorm food? Like what's in the area? I mean, it was just your typical fast food situation. It wasn't really that different from, I think it was just,

I was just exposed to different kinds of pizza places, but for the most part, you know, was Wendy's Taco Bell. Right, same stuff you used to. From the dining facility. Yeah, it wasn't really that different per se. Interesting. It wasn't that much. I mean, I had better access to Mexican food, obviously,

for sure. Like Fresno had some really good, like Mexican joints. So for me at least, because I think the Mexican food in Puerto Rico exists, or maybe it's better now, but it used to just be like, it's different, right? I feel like California for the most part is the best pound for pound, the best Mexican food, depending on where you're at. I certainly feel that way.

Yeah. I'll agree with that. And for the U.S., I think that California has, obviously like, well, we got San Francisco, Los Angeles and San Diego, and that covers kind of a wide range of things too. If you go to each one of those cities, you get a different burrito style and put really great Mexican food. But people are always saying that Tex-Mex and Mexican food in New Mexico

is really great too. So I haven't done a ton of Tex-Mex. I don't like Tex-Mex as much as I like Mexican food in Los Angeles and San Diego. It's a different vibe. It's a different vibe. By the way, Wally has planted himself kind of right on top of me. I don't know if you can see this, Wags, but it's a... Your tag is tag.

It's been an issue. It's blocking him. Yeah. I'm not going anywhere. I'm kind of stuck here. We're seeing him in profile. As Carlos mentioned, his face is occluded by your Mr. Slice name. So we can't quite...

It looks like, honestly, he's testifying and they've obscured his face for his protection. What would he be testifying about? He's got a beautiful life. He's just got uprooted. Meow. Yeah. Meow spoon man eats all our food. That's what you came up with.

I don't know. Maybe you would. The first thing? Yeah. How about me taking a shit in his litter box or something instead? I mean, that to me is worse. But convenient, depending on the situation. I mean, I've never done it.

I haven't done it yet. But you thought about it. Yeah. I mean, everyone does. Once I got the little robot, that thing takes care of the business. Anyways, it recycles. Why is it? Like, it scoops it itself.

It's pretty great. Right. Carlos, are you a sports fan? Do you watch sports at all? You're going to watch the big game, the Bengals. I only watch the Super Bowl if I got a commercial in that year. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Basically. I could take it or leave it. I didn't grow up with it. So I appreciate it. Like, I usually join like parties and stuff because it's fun. It's just like, you know, it's like that kind of vibe. But I don't have a dog.

What is it? I don't have a dog in this game. Dog in the fight. In the fight. I don't have a steak in the game. In the fight. You get it. Have you had a Super Bowl commercial?

Have you been in a commercial? I've been in a couple. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. That's the big time. That's the big one.

The last one was in 20, actually it was right before the pandemic. I had that 2020. I was in a Bud Light Seltzer commercial. We all had to get tatted up to look like, what's his name? The rapper. White guy. Tall guy. He's got face tats.

I'm blanking out. Jay-Z. That's where my rap. Yes, Post Malone. Post Malone. Yes, Post Malone. Post Malone. Post Malone.

Thank you, Emma. I totally blanked out. Jay-Z. Yeah, that was the last time I was on there. So that was fun. Why do you think Jay-Z is a white guy with a lot of face tattoos? Okay. When you throw in those details, then no.

He asked me to name a rapper. That's who comes to mind. It's the first one up. Geez. Yeah. That rules. Yeah, that's rad. A Super Bowl commercial is great.

So you don't have Sunday snacks. You don't have any Super Bowl snacks. Wags, I just, I had a day of watching the games and I was with some buddies and we did some wings from E-Rustic. I had wings watching the Bengals and the Rams win their games to go to the Super Bowl. I had some E-Rustic wings. Possibly have COVID now, but who knows? We'll find out in five days.

Wait, because of that? Because of the wings? No, I mean, just because I ate at a bar. So I'm like- Oh, you went out. You didn't order in. Okay. Yeah. It's like the first time I had done that.

It's that sort of thing of like, I like, I'm going to see Jack, the Jackass forever. And it's that sort of thing of like, I'll get COVID for that. You know what I mean? Like I'm just weighing the thing of like, is it worth getting COVID for at this point of going out and seeing something? Do you get nervous from going from being in the theater and the movie theater? You haven't been?

I do. I try to be double, I try to be double masked and stuff like that. But it is, it's still tricky. It still is, it's, it's tricky because I love the, I love the theater. Yeah, me too. I want to see that movie with people. And I just, I, and I feel like it's like, you just got to go. There's going to be people in there and I might get it. I guess that's, you know, I'm back.

Just in the back row, nobody behind you can like breathe in to you. So that's, that's, that is a great call. Back row is that, that is actually my plan for Jackass. So. Yeah. I've been going to the theater and, and you know, a shout out to Griffin Newman of, of Blank Check, who has kind of had, made the case that I believe that a, as far as public places go, a movie theater that's not like packed, you know,

like a sparsely attended movie for indoor spaces, it seems pretty safe. And, you know, especially if people are, are, and, and generally people are masked up out here, and unless they're eating something. So I, I don't know. I've been, I, I, we've seen some movies, we've seen some movies in the theaters and I feel good about it. I've been having a good time. Yeah.

Nice way to get out of the house. I couldn't wait for it to be, yeah. Because during the pandemic, I did that thing where I couldn't, I, I, uh, rented out a whole theater for just three people because I couldn't take it. Wow. Oh, I love it. I, I, I did it for, for interstellar. No, for, uh,

I did too. For Tenet. For Tenet. Oh, wait. That's, yes, me too. For Tenet. And I, I also made the same mistake in my head where I was like, oh yeah, it's Tenet. Not.

And it's just, it was at the interstellar Tenet there. Same guy. Same thing. I'd say, same difference. That was, I took some Quincy friends. We drove down to Connecticut. We went on a little pizza tour and then I rented out a theater and we all sat, spread apart, like seven, six of us, maybe seven of us and like, you know, like a,

a 50 seat theater. And it was, it was great. It was lovely. It was great. Well, what was the crew out there? Well, who, who, which of your Quincy friends came out? Was it Dano, Ramondi, Steve? We had Dano.

We had Micahs. Micahs is there, of course. Yeah, Wu-Tang, yeah. Joey Oh. Who else do we have? Breslin. Shout out Joey Oh. That Breslin.

That Breslin was there. Breslin, Breslin, Micahs, Dano, Wu-Tang, Joey Oh, myself. Maybe that was it. Was Sean, was Scoop there? Hmm. I can't tell. I don't remember. I think Scoop was maybe there.

That's it. Wow. It was a great crew. Nice little ensemble. A great, a great time was had by all. But I, I, I, that was like when theaters were like shut down, it was like, they had just kind of open and were doing like private. They, you could rent out the theater.

I drove down to Anaheim. That was the only place I was available. Damn. Wow. Yeah. Gladly. I gladly drove to Anaheim. Yeah.

I know it's, it is one of the things that I've said, that it makes me really sad. I still wish the world was more normal just because I, that's like the thing I do. That's what I like to do on the weekends. Well, I like to go see a movie. It's, it's fun. It's a fun night that we got, we got more into it after,

like, well, after, after the ongoing pandemic time, like we've like, when, when activities sort of resumed, we got more into it till now it's like, like at minimum a weekly thing. Just like, I got to the fucking house and try to see, see a fucking movie. I got to do fucking something. I saw Spider-Man with two other people in the theater.

Like I've timed them out so that no one's like, like I wait till they're, it's basically the last, one of the last times that you can see the movie. Yeah. And, and, and then there's not too many people around. So. You fall asleep during it. Yeah.

Yeah. Fall asleep during it. Might as well just watch it home. It's a 2 a.m. Spider-Man. I like those late nights. Here's, here's my thought. This is what you, what do you think of this? Tell me what you think of this.

We're in LA, the home of movies. It's Hollywood. How come they're on 24 hours? I mean, look, I know what your answer is going to be. It's going to be this dorky answer that's going to make me feel bad. If like, well, that means that you'd have to pay a worker to stay there 24 hours. It would be bad and they would get paid minimum wage.

And I get it. I get that side of it. But how are there not 24 hour movies in LA? There should be movies at like 3 a.m. There's some. Like if you go to like the Tiki theater, like they're open really late. Place where Fred Riller was arrested for jacking off.

It's a, no, that, yeah, I know what you're talking about. It's, it would be nice if there were more, I mean, I feel like, like, like, like the latest screening is generally like midnight, right? Unless like a new, like Marvel is coming out. Yeah. Unless they pushed that Thursday night into Wednesday or like Wednesday midnight.

So like a one, I think I saw one of the Star Wars at like one something. Yeah. It was a mistake. I was following. Yeah. And that's usually the latest. Okay.

We'll be like one or like when one of those huge movies, like a Star Wars type movie comes out or something like that. But I'm saying LA. I'm a weirdo. Give me a 3 a.m. movie. I'm going to go in there. Me and some other fucking creep. We'll turn that place into the Tiki theater.

Well, that's probably why it'll never happen. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more dough boys. You know, Mitch, you're about to take a little trip abroad. You're going to Costa Rica. That's right. Why? So I'm going to Costa Rica with the family.

It's going to be a lot of fun. Going to maybe see a monkey. Oh, that's fun. Going to maybe see a bird. Just that. Just a one monkey, one bird. That's it. Hey, that sounds like a heck of a vacay.

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It was delicious. Wow. Hey, want to cut back on takeout? Get factor instead. Not only is factor cheaper than takeout, but meals are ready faster than restaurant delivery in just two minutes. With factor, you can rest assured you're making a sustainable choice. We offset 100% of our delivery admissions to your door,

source 100% renewable energy for our production sites and offices, and feature sustainably sourced seafood in our meals. Head to factormeals.com slash doboys50 and use code DOBOYS50 to get 50% off your first box. That's code DOBOYS50 at factormeals.com slash DOBOYS50 to get 50% off your first box. Do it. Welcome back to DOBOYS. We're here with our guest, Carlos Santos, discussing this week's chain, Smashburger. Founded in Denver in 2007 by Tom Ryan and Rich Shaden.

Tom Ryan had worked at, yeah. Update, Wally has moved. Wow. You saw it. Where did Wally end up? He took off. He just left? Yeah, I just heard the car start, and then I heard it backing up, and I think he's gone.

Oh, boy. Pulled the toonces on me. He's over it. I'll hope that turns out better than how things worked out for toonces. Founded in Denver. Hold on a second. I just got a text. He's at the Tiki Theater.

He heard the talk, and he was like, oh, now I got to go. Fuckin' freak. Ryan had worked in Pizza Hut and McDonald's Corporate and Shaden co-owned Quiznos, so they're both longtime veterans or higher-ups in the chain restaurant industry. This was a calculated attempt to make a Shake Shack-style, upscale, fast, casual burger chain. Now it's 370 locations worldwide, and as of 2018 is 85% owned by Jollibee. Mitch. So there you go.

This is very, all this information is very, very interesting to me about what this place is because, right, I mean, we'll get into it. Look, we're going to get into it, but I just am like. I got hot takes. I got hot takes. I got hot takes too, and it, I just don't know about this one. It's just that sort of thing of like, smash burger. I also think I maybe had heard that it was good.

I don't know what the deal is. Look, not to say that it's bad. I'm not going to say it's bad, but I'm also just kind of like, what the fuck is this place? It's very confusing. Then to hear that it was like a corporate idea, and then I was being bought by Jollibee, which by the way, loved the fried chicken at Jollibee. Love, but Jollibee is like a very interesting, weird, fast food place. And this place feels weird to me too.

It's like, I've said this before or something, but it's like, if I went to like a hamburger spot in like Germany or something, there's like something very like a. Something off. Interesting. There's something different about it. Not that it's bad. There's just something different about it. And I almost thought it was like, if I went to like the aquarium or the museum of science

or something, and they just have like a really good burger, you know what I mean? Like, like, if I ate this at the museum of science, I'd be like, this is pretty good for the museum of science or like hospital food or something. Yeah. Legoland. This is a, hey, that's the stand to go to at Legoland. Hey, that's a pretty good burger for Legoland. It's kind of how I would feel.

When you're there by yourself as an adult, that's the place to get a burger from Legoland. They don't let you do that, by the way. Yeah. I was going to say, you kind of have like your own map of Legoland for adults that go solo. Like a Star Tours map. You sell it outside of the Legoland. Does Legoland have like build your own food? Because if not, get on it, Legoland.

I mean, they're messing up. They're messing up. They're big time. I don't think you can go like, like order something and then customize it to like you are building a Lego version of it. I don't think that's, yeah. They need that. It's a good idea.

They got to get the most. At least the bread. The bread can look like. Yeah. Come on. Oh, that would be fun. Come on, bread. You can make bread look like that.

It's very easy. You can. Carlos, you mentioned you. Carlos, you said you had some hot takes. Did you have any biases coming in on Smash Burger? I am glad that you guys are feeling this way. I don't know what the full extent of what you're about to say because I did not have a good time. Wow.

Interesting. Can I just start by saying I messed up because I thought that there was a Smash Burger at Universal City, which is very close to me. And it turns out it got closed. It was permanently shut down. So I was like, where's the next one? Downtown. The next Smash Burger to me.

So I, first of all, if I don't have to, I refuse to go down there unless I have to go for a specific reason. So going to downtown is already like weird to me. But then on top of that- You could have done delivery. We should have told you you could just get it delivered. I don't like it because I feel like fast food and stuff like that, when it gets delivered, it's not like it's, I wanted to give it a fair shot.

I feel like a lot of times, especially from downtown, I don't know. It's going to be soggy. I'm not, I'm already expecting it not to be 100%. So I just was like, I'll take, listen, I'm going to take this serious. I'm going to go, I hadn't been to a Smash Burger. So I was, I was curious. Now, now I had a reason to do it. But I had to go to, to downtown where the, the Staple Center, well, no longer a Staple Center,

but what are the real, the LA Live. Crypto.com arena. Crypto.com arena, the Crypt. Yeah. So I had to pay for parking to eat Smash Burgers. So right off the bat, I was like, it's not your fault. But by- No, we're sorry.

It is our fault. No, this, this, this is the premise of the show. $10 parking for Smash Burgers. That's crazy. Already you're setting the bar too high. This better be good. And Carlos, also this sucks, but like, we can't compensate you for that. Either it sucks.

Yeah, it's food only. We can't pay for the parking. Got it. Yeah, we can't pay for that parking or gas. I realized that, I realized going into it, that this was going to be, but yeah. So it just, it felt like, like a place that's supposed to be something that it clearly is not. It's too, it's expensive for the sake of being expensive. But to be honest with you, I did not enjoy it.

I feel like I ended up spending 50 bucks for just like a, for just with parking included. But what I'm saying is, you know, like, I thought the- Yeah, no, not, not, not cheap, not cheap, not cheap. It's not worth it. Like I feel like Fat Sal's, have you guys covered Fat Sal's? We have not covered it on the podcast. We never, we haven't though. Oh my God, that's like super close to me and I love Fat Sal's.

Fat Sal's is a good barometer. Well, we fucked that up and we should have done Fat Sal's. I wish I would have rather done Fat Sal's. I figured you would have done it by now. Great delivery game by Fat Sal's too. They're really on top of delivery stuff there. I agree with you. Fast food is tricky to get it delivered.

I had a, I got this on Sunday. Wait. Yes. No. Yes, Sunday. No, Saturday. I got this on Saturday. No, Monday.

I got this on Monday. Okay, great. Mystery solved. I got this on Monday. Another case solved by Hekyou Poirot. By the way, you're saying Clousseau isn't at the pink panther? That's what you were saying earlier. That's right.

That's right. Yeah. Clousseau is the pink panther. We are, not only is the show bad, but we're... So I got this yesterday because I moved all day Saturday. Sunday, like I said, I was at the games and then, so I got it yesterday. And had an audition, had to go get Smash Burger, and then also had to finish moving out after that.

It was, it was hellish. It was bad. And I was like, was that like, my mom was helping me do an audition. And I was like, I have to go like get burgers. And she was like, what do you mean? I'm helping you with your audition. And I was like, I got to go get fucking a burger. I got to leave to go get a burger.

It's my job, mom. It's like, it is my job. And that's why she did the sad thing of don't eat too much of it. That's what she said. Oh boy. That's tough. The saddest. Yeah.

Please son, don't eat too much of the burger to hear my mom say that. Michael, is there even a podcast? Are you lying to us? Is this a fight club situation? Is Nick your alter ego? I know it. Boy, that'd be a real sad Tyler dirt. Yeah.

The fucking, the alter guy is my alter ego. Hi. Let's start Project Mayhem. I do believe that. I believe you'd start Project Mayhem. So look, all that being said, I was looking forward to like, hey, I'm looking forward to a nice meal in my day because this is, sure, it's chaos and I need something good right now.

And I'm not sure if it's good. I don't know if I would call Smashburger good. I think that there was some stuff that I thought was tasty. I'll say that. I think that there is some stuff that I think is tasty. But overall, I'm just like, what is this place? What even is- What's the hook?

Umami Burger Wags. I get it. I get Umami Burger. I get what that, we've been hard on Umami Burger and I'm like, I also get what that is. This place, I don't really understand what it's trying to do, which as we said before, is a big thing for us when we're ranking these restaurants. The menu is a little sprawling and I think the concept,

I think the gimmick of the restaurant comes from the name, Smashburger. It's like that Smash-style burger, right? Like that really dense, grill-packed patty. I think that's what they're trying to do. I'm not eating red meat right now, so I didn't sample their signature Smashburger. I went for some of their other items and it sounds like both of you went to the downtown LA location. I went to the Manhattan Beach location and here's the first thing I'll say.

The app is crap. I've had some success with the app lately, but the app for Smashburger kept giving me errors without any context. It was just like order could not be completed. And then no info on like, hey, because this item isn't in stock or whatever, or because this location doesn't have it, or because this location doesn't accept online orders. Whatever it was, it just gave me no information.

So I just went there and ordered in person. Now, why X? Yeah. Would you say as goes the app, goes the chain? Would you say that that's a thing of, look, yes, very, I mean, I said that very smoothly and it was a good saying. As goes the app, goes the chain, sage words. Yes.

We'll put that under your statue in front of Palmerston. Do you think that's usually a sign of a place that's not good? How often do you think it goes hand in hand that the app isn't great and the restaurant also isn't great? I think it, I don't know because a lot of times a bad app is a sign of just like a smaller chain. And some chains that have very robust apps, they have like a lot of locations and they have a lot of money behind the brand. So I'd say like Subway's app is pretty sleek, but I don't like Subway.

You know, I wouldn't call Subway a good chain. Whereas, I'm trying to think of another example of a restaurant that does, well, you know, Dave's Hot Chicken doesn't even have an app, but Dave's Hot Chicken is a pretty good up and coming chain. The Subway app still features Jared. He's like Microsoft's Clippy. Seems like you're trying to make a sandwich. And also like he's in also in a prison jumpsuit.

So it seems like it's, they know. Right. This wasn't the thing they were locked into from a while ago. No, it was a recent decision. So the app wasn't good. I don't know if that necessarily correlates with the chain's performance. I will say once I got there, every, you know, the everyone was super, super friendly. It was like, it felt like they were understaffed.

Like they had, you know, two people in the kitchen, one person expediting and one person, one cashier during the lunch rush. And I didn't mean to go during the lunch rush, but that's just how it timed out because my app ordered and didn't work out and I had to drive down there. Wow. And so it just, it's felt like they were understaffed, but they were nice. By the way, Wax, update.

Yeah. Irma now on my lap. Wow. I don't know if you can see this here. Irma is now sitting on my lap. Yeah. It looks like she's getting a good pet there. Mitch just put his mic up to Irma's mouth.

Can you hear that? Was that you or Irma? That was Irma. You think I was, you think I was trying to pretend to be purring for the cat? I don't know. The kind of fucking psycho do you think I am? I don't know. Triloquist.

He's a cat ventriloquist. Good girl. So here, let's get into our food, I guess. Let's begin here because let's start with the sandwiches that people got. So their signature item is the smash burger. I got the, they don't have a beyond or an impossible patty. They have a black bean, their own house creation, a black bean patty. So I got a black bean smash burger.

I also got the spicy Baja crispy chicken because I'm something of a heat seeker. And I got the straight up egg and cheese sandwich. They serve breakfast all day, which to me is at least a half fork in its credit. That's good. I like that. I think that's, I think that's, I think that's good. I mean, look, so I also, I got to know what you thought. I want to hear what you thought of the, of the, of the crispy chicken because if I'm

looking for highlights here, I thought that that crispy chicken patty was really, was really good. I thought it was actually, I wish I would have gotten it. I got the regular one. The guy, the guy even said to me, well, it's going to take a little long. I was like, you're really trying to sell me the, just like the, like the, the grilled. I was like, that's fine. Cause I got, I got a, I wanted to go, oh, I wanted to be basic, right? I wanted to get the classic, whatever the smash burger.

And then I got a classic, but with the chicken and then I got some fries and then I got the shake and don't even get me started with the shake, but I'll get to it later. Oh man. The shake, the shake is, I, I'm, I'm a hundred percent with you on that one. Oreo cookie, I place just like a Mexican place will live and die off of their chips. When it like a burger spot with milkshake. You know what? It's a great point just in that when you go to a Mexican food spot and

the chips are bad, you're just like, damn, this sucks. It's a fucking bummer. Yeah. Bums you out. Yeah. By the way, do you think people would just listen to a podcast of just this swag? So here we go. You're petting Irma.

Can you not hear a purring? No. Yeah. Irma is not making any sound, but my answer is yes. People would listen to that. You have to add in the purring. We should maybe just embed the purring under the, because I feel like we should just have it playing the whole time.

Because I feel like people who listen to this podcast, I'm sure it causes anxiety for people who listen to this podcast. I feel like you feel the purring gets people anxiety. No, no, us just deconize general demeanor. Oh, yeah, yeah. So the purring is like white noise just to kind of get everybody. To calm people down. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

People are getting anxious from two flailing dumb shits, just soaked in flop sweat, fumbling their way through a podcast they've recorded literally 300 episodes of. Here's the deal. We've changed recording recently. Now wherever we do it, double and didn't we use to do it? So we did two doubles every week. We changed the schedule for our recording. Doubles for those of you not on our Patreon or our Patreon episodes or Paywalled episodes

that come out every Tuesday. And we used to record those separately. And now we're recording it all in one day. So it's a little bit of a longer record day. We're on the back end of that right now. We're too dumb for that. Our brains turn to mush. We're idiots.

We can't do it. You and I can't record more than an hour and a half. And then our brain, we just, we can't do it. It's not sustainable, guys. It's not sustainable. I mean, maybe we could get a different. Maybe we could mix up the schedule. That's a conversation for another time.

But I, but I think we're doing okay. I think we're doing fine. I have an idea. I think this is going better than you think. I have an idea for the schedule. Yeah. One day, one day, 52 episodes. Love it for the year.

For the year. Knock it out. Done for the year. Emma, you'll figure that out in post. We're all good to go. No way. Nope. Oh, Emma just vetoed it.

Emma, our boss just told us we can't do it. So sorry. We're sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, boss. Here's, here's my big thing I'll say. I am shocked that you guys had bad shake experiences

because for me, my shake, and this might just be very location dependent. Mitch, you also went to the, the downtown of labor location. So my shake was the highlight. That was my favorite thing. I got a vanilla shake and they use Haagen-Dazs ice cream. And I, I got it and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna,

you know, I'm trying to eat better. I was like, I'm just going to have a little bit of this. And then I'm going to toss it, but I'm just going to get a sense of the taste. I had had half of it before I got back to my car. It was so good. It was like a perfect vanilla shake. And a lot of it, well, a lot of doing the work

was that Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream. They do a good vanilla. I mean, not surprised that you. Let me tell you something. The first thing I'm going to say is have a different straw. How are you going to have those flimsy little tiny, like it's impossible already, already, already like a strike because you're not enjoying.

You're like trying to like really suck that life out of that thing. And second of all, I had the Oreo cookie shake and it just tastes so bland. It tasted like, honestly. Carlos, I had the Oreo cookie shake as well. And then I felt something inside. I was like, ooh, at least I'll like scoop up the pieces

of cookie. No, it was frozen pieces of the ice cream because it just seemed like they just have, they just dump it and then they like mix it up and then they serve it. So it's not even like made with love. It's just like, it was like frozen pieces of the ice cream. And it's not like ice cream, but it was just like, it felt like ice.

Like they were just, like they have, it feels like they have a block that they pull out and they put in the thing and then they serve it for. So it just, I was like, that was the capper for me. I was like, ugh, like this is not. Yeah, I also did not finish it. I will say the best, the best milkshake that I've had, Fat Sal's, the Oreo cookie shake.

Wow. So I know this is not about Fat Sal's, but it's hard because when you're paying those type of prices, I'm going to compare it to other places that might be a little bit more. And that's what I like. When I think about paying top dollar for this type of meal, I have zero problems paying for that kind of money

for Fat Sal's because they, they are really good. In addition, not just the cost, you know, financially, but also the cost calorically, like if you're going to get a shake, you want it to be fucking good. And I'm bummed that you guys both had such an inferior shake experience because mine was quite good. Here, Mitch, here's what I'm going to say.

Mine was, mine seemed to be not as bad as Carlos, but mine, mine was just boring. I was like, this is just kind of boring, not like the cookie, the Oreo cookie distribution wasn't really even. It was like dusting with cookies. Yeah. And you needed a bigger straw, even if that was the case.

It was just a lot going on. Now I like want a good shake. Irma just jumped off my lap. Now I want a good shake. I'm like, I was robbed of a good shake that night, and I spent those calories like you're saying, Nick, and I, and I fucking, now I'm craving a shake. I want, maybe I'll order up a Fat Sal's Oreo cookie shake.

Oh my God. Cause they do that and they have a bunch of other different flavors, but start with that, because that's the main one, but they have a s'mores one. They have a cheesecake one where they actually put a cheesecake in it, a whole ass slice of cheesecake in the thing. It's fantastic.

We should, this is. Why aren't we doing Fat Sal's, Mitch? Ah, we should have gone to Fat Sal's. You know what, here's, here's my prediction. Yeah. Here's my prediction of when Fat Sal meets the birthday boys. I'm cut the birthday boys. My brain is mush.

Wigs. We can't go more than two hours. Here's my impression of Fat Sal. What year is it? Here's my impression of Fat Sal when he meets the dough boys. I'm just going to go buy Sal now. That's good. I bequeathed my name to you.

I bend the knee. Let's talk burgers a little bit. So, or sandwiches, the savory side. Here's my thing with a black bean smash burger, and the smash burger has, as its ingredients, whatever the patty, American cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, red onions, pickles, smash sauce, ketchup, and a toasted bun.

I thought all the components were fine. I just thought that patty, and Natalie thought that patty was okay. I did not like the patty. I thought it was just way too, here's the thing. I feel like the house-made veggie patty is like the house ketchup. It's just hubris.

Like at this point, people, we have beyond, we have impossible. These are well engineered products that are simulacrums of the real thing. They do well, and people like them. So, have the beyond, have the impossible. And there's no reason to have this veggie, this customized version. In the same way, there's no reason to have

your house ketchup when people just want Heinz. But Mitch, did you also get the veggie patty? No, I did not. I got everything, basically everything besides the veggie patty. So, that's good. We covered everything. My thought is that it's not really a smash burger.

Like smash burgers are like smashed thin. And I was eating this, and I was like, this just kind of tastes like a double burger from Wendy's or something. I don't get the smash aspect. Also, the bread is just kind of like, what the fuck's going on with the bread here? This is the thing that just makes it seem so weird to me

where I'm like, a lot of the ingredients here made it seem like Dad made you a burger. Which, by the way, could be great. On the weekend, Dad making you a burger can be great. Mom making you a burger, whoever makes you a burger, you get it, that homemade burger. But I'm like, the bun just seems out of place. It seems like a grocery store bun where my dad's like,

they had bulky rolls, and I got bulky rolls, and the burger's on a bulky roll. It just felt, not to say that it tasted bad, because I actually thought that the burger tasted fine. I thought it was a fine burger. It was just that sort of thing of like, what am I eating here? This is like the most kind of like, plain, boring thing.

I just feel like you're going to get so much out of In-N-Out for a fraction of the price. It just feels like that. Sure. Oh, 100%. God, in the shake. That's totally fair. God, maybe that's where I'll get a shake. Maybe I'll get myself a chocolate vanilla shake wags from In-N-Out.

There you go. Yeah, no, it just, just kind of a confusing place. I got a lot of different things. Should I break it down wags? First of all, LA live area, which, calling it LA live with the Lakers of the season is kind of unfair to the word live. Yeah, the Celtics are lighting the world on fire. Hey, we're coming back.

We've won nine of, nine of 13 or something. We're, we're, we're coming back a little bit. I'll see in the plan. Okay. Look, the Lakers are bad and they were fresh off a lost against the Lana Hawks. You could smell it in the air. They're dog shit. They're terrible.

It's a shame. So the Celtics are, the Celtics aren't doing great either. But I wanted to try a lot of different things. I want, because I've never had this place. I'm kind of fascinated by it. So I went with a few different, I went with a few different burgers. I got myself that double classic smash burger, which I felt like, felt like their signature burger, the doubles.

They're really pushing the doubles. Yeah. Yeah. And then I got myself wags, a turkey burger. I got the truffle mushroom Swiss turkey burger and I added a brioche bun to that one. The bun, I couldn't even really tell the difference. Honestly, I was kind of just like, yeah, the bun is fine. It's a, and it was fine.

Not fine. It's strange. Like I said before, but like it's one bun to the other. I was like, it, well, it does the job. It's, there's, there's, there's, there was no real, I couldn't tell any real difference between the two. The truffle mushroom Swiss turkey burger was maybe my bite of the night. I actually liked that and as someone who likes turkey burgers, and this is where

this place is winning points for me. I'm like, I would maybe get a turkey burger from there every so often and, and you know, like not have red meat and your, your options of getting turkey burgers are kind of low in this area, especially after cafe one on one went down, which was a sad loss because they did a good turkey burger there. So I thought that the truffle mushroom Swiss burger was, was, was good. It was, it was, it was pretty good. But also again, like just like, it feels like this weird in between zone of like

between Carl's Jr. and Umami or whatever, like, or like, like a, like, because now Umami also, as we've said, has gone downhill, but like a sit down restaurant burger chain and Carl's Jr. like, where does it fall in there? And is the taste even there besides that? You know what I mean? Like there's, there's nothing that blew me away. Then I got two different chicken sandwiches. Well, I got one that was popular is the avocado bacon club grilled chicken

sandwich, which I also kind of liked. I did like the, I did like this sandwich. And then the classic crispy chicken sandwich, which I, which I thought the cloud, I thought the chicken breast was great, but I thought like all the toppings were like boring and uninspired, like not inspired. It was just kind of like lettuce and onion and mayo. You know what I mean? It was just kind of, it was boring toppings.

While you're talking chicken, I'll, I'll just say that my spicy Baja with guac, crispy chicken sandwich, first off, I wish I hadn't gotten it with guac because by the time it got home, that guac was not in good shape. And, but I agree with you. Similarly, it was brown. Yeah. I agree with you. Similarly though, it like the patty itself was good.

It was a good chicken patty. It actually had a decent amount of Christmas to it. Even by the time I got it, I hauled it all the way home. Yeah. I just don't think that, that the other components on it were all, were all that interesting. And, and they, that one comes on a toasted spicy Chipotle bun, which I'm not quite sure what's going on with their bun situation,

but that was just like a, like an odd bun. I don't know why they're trying to add heat to a bun. It was just, it just, it was just a, you know, and hey, I like spice, but it was just an odd, odd place to find it. Carlos, you were unhappy with your grilled chicken sandwich. Yeah. It was just very bland. Like the, the grilled chicken, it just, it was like, it was like eating hot food, you know?

Sure. I don't know how to say it. Like, I know this is going to help me not pass out later because I have, it just felt like, yeah. Sustenance. Yeah. And even the fry, even the fries were just like whatever. Like it just didn't feel like they have their own, it very much feels like they don't have their own identity.

And so it's like, they have buzzwords for things that they're throwing in together to make it seem like it's something else. But I don't think anything kind of, but I, well, I'm curious about the turkey though. I would go back just to try that or the breakfast stuff. Maybe, maybe that's the saving grace. Let's talk fries real quick because you mentioned them. Did you get the smash fries, which are rosemary, garlic, olive oil tossed? I didn't because I am allergic and tolerant to garlic.

So I try to stay as much as possible. Yeah. I got, I got the, I got the smash buns, the smash buns. You're making me think of adding heat, adding heat to buns. Adding heat to buns, which is, what are you, the copper tone dog? That makes sense. That joke makes sense. I'm also in the dark right now. Yeah. They got really dark real quick over there. Yeah. Do you have lights in your new place? What's going on?

Alexa, turn on kitchen lights. There we go. That worked. Wow. It worked. Mitch, you live in a future house. I do live in a future house. I have a hyperbaric chamber that I sleep in. Wow. That's right. Like Boba Fett? Boba Fett.

Like Boba Fett. Yeah. I have a jackoff machine. Like Boba Fett. Like Boba Fett. Do you just mean your phone? Boba Fett has a flashlight that's the Sarlacc bit. It's weird. It's weird.

Yeah. What does he want to relive that? You know, trauma, that's the way trauma is. Yeah. I guess that's a favorite part of what it is. So the smash fries, they come with a, a rosemary, garlic, olive oil, like taught blend to them. I thought they were, I, so here's the thing. I was like, these aren't going to travel. Wow. I've got a bit of a haul that I'll home.

So I ate some right away. I think people are still laughing at my, my fleshlight Sarlacc bit thing. I think we should slow down for a minute. And they are enjoying it, but we're also getting to business here. We're getting back on track while people are enjoying that. You could put up an ad. I had some, I had a hand, we'll return to this later. You know, it'd be fun if there was, if there was like a, like a Sarlacc,

like fleshlight, like if like in the bottom of it, there was like a Gammerian guard. You know what I mean? Like there was like little... He's just trapped down there. Yeah. It's a little Easter egg. Yeah. Yeah. If you ever cleaned that thing. Oh, hey. It's a little rough. Come on, Bob is not going to clean that thing.

I had some of the fries at the, like not at the restaurant, but like as soon as, like I got outside and I had a fistful of them and I had a few bites of them just to, just to taste them when they were fresh. I thought they were good. Good crystal. You're kind of giving off the image of a monster who shoved half his fries and drank half his milkshake as he walked out of the store. Is this accurate?

Oh yeah. What do you think? Yeah, of course. That's who I am. You know me. I was eating that stuff as soon as possible. I was getting, it was going in my body when I had the opportunity. Probably scared the Lakers. It's probably why they lost to the Hawks that night. Well, if they were down in Manhattan Beach, it was the location I was at.

Maybe they have a residence there. All right. All right. I forgot. Which, you know, some of the team does live in that, the South Bay. So technically you are correct, Mitch. It could have happened. Different life. I moved next to UCB theater. Well, I thought that was a, I thought that was a good idea to live down the street from UCB. Wait, you did, you just did?

No, back when I moved to Palmerston. No, I didn't buy UCB. Are you living on Franklin Avenue? No, I didn't. Mitch, are you living at first? First of all, we're not, I'm not. At the other one? I didn't buy UCB theater and I didn't move into UCB theater.

First of all, we're not trying to get people in my address now with a new place. Okay. We're not gaming out my new address. Not yet. Okay. Yeah. Just know that it's very futuristic. Did you figure out how you're going to get your free gifts now?

Good question. I'll get them somehow. Okay. They're going to find it. Oh yeah. The USPS has a forwarding thing, so you're fine. At least for the first year. At least for the first year, they're going to afford it too. It's fine.

They pick up stuff that strangers leave on your doorstep and bring it to your house. It's like a week old shake. Things that I've eaten in the past. So anyway, I shoveled some fries in my mouth. Wayne Ellington was horrified. He couldn't hit a shot and then, but I'll say the fries were decent. Mitch, what did you think? Yeah.

Did you get the smash fries and what did you think of them? Well, I did get the smash fries. I'm just kind of like, I don't know how I feel about the mix of the smash fries mix of ingredients. I just don't, like I've told you before, not a huge Rosemary fan. So, oh, Irma's back. So not a huge Rosemary fan. And that plays a little bit heavily in this mix of ingredients here. What is it called?

The seasoning. So seasoning. Can't think of the word seasoning. We do a food podcast. Seasoning. What is that word? What's that thing? Flavor.

Flavor. But I didn't think they were, they were terrible. Carlos, you and I, maybe I had them when they were, when they were hotter and, but I don't know. I will say this. What I thought were better than them were the tater tots because I got myself some tater tots. I didn't get tater tots. I should have gotten them. I thought the tots were pretty good.

I thought they did a decent tot. Hot, plain tot. Dipped it in some ketchup. Yeah. Pretty good. Also, my food traveled weirdly well. I got to say that as well because I got it to go and I got back. I mean, like fresh and hot out of, out of the fryer and I, and I came back.

I drove all the way back and had, you know, had, I haven't had a bite or two of some fries and some stuff like that on the way back. But it was mostly kind of like wrapped all individually, which was very strange. I don't know if the same thing happened to you, but like they, each bag was like taped individually. So I didn't get into a lot of food. But when I got back here, it was still pretty hot and, and, and good to go. I just am kind of like, what, what is this place?

I just, I can't, the food is, the food is fine. I don't think I would ever tell anyone to go out of their way to try it. It just just happened to have it in front of you when you're hungry. You might as well, but it's not a destination place, a destination meal. If this was an airport terminal, I might see myself opting for a smash burger. I'll say that, that, that, that the side, a side, another side I got, and it's bizarre that they offer it. And also they don't, they don't serve it with utensil.

So this is a finger food, but they have a Brussels sprouts. And so I was like, I got the Brussels sprouts. I forgot to fucking get those. Um, I mean, they're fine. They were just like replaced at level Brussels sprouts. It felt like the sort of thing that would be if they were a little bit more of a sit-down gastropubby concept, it would maybe fit a little bit more, but because they're a to-go spot, it's just like, I, I don't know who this is for.

I don't quite know what it's doing at this menu. It feels like an outlier. For me, another highlight along with a vanilla shake was the egg and cheese sandwich. And I'll say this as a vegetarian, if you're eating vegetarian, rather as someone who, who ate vegetarian last year and is, is still minimizing my meat consumption. If I was going to go back here and get something veggie, I would get the egg and cheese sandwich over that black bean smash burger for sure.

I mean, it's, it was a very solid breakfast sandwich and they serve it all day, which again is to its credit. So that, that was a plus for me. That one was, was, was, was cheesy and, and, and delicious and, and, uh, and travel pretty well. Interesting. Yeah. I mean, look, I don't know, we're, we're, we're going to get into final thoughts here, you know, and, uh, and it's just hard to even sum up this place for me.

I, I don't even think it's bad. I truly don't think it is bad, but I also don't think it's really good. It's right there in the middle, which is worse. I feel like you had a worse experience because that shake sounds even worse of mine. I think the, the stakes were a lot higher when I had to pay $10 for parking. You know what I mean? Like it just changes the, again, very sorry we can't reimburse you for that. I understand that. I understand that.

I understand that. We told you that you could have like, you could have like bought yourself a ticket to like the crypto.com arena and like gone and seen a game or show or something. But to be fair, to be fair, uh, because of the loss, it could, everybody, probably the morale when I went to get the food was probably really low. That has had LA lives. That could have influenced the food, especially the shake.

They really felt like they didn't, they were just like here, we're not having a good day. As goes the Lakers goes the restaurant. Because the smash burger goes the smash burger. Wax, here's something that they should do. Tales from the crypt, the crypt keeper. He should have some sort of thing at the, at the crypt, at the crypto.com arena. The new mascot. I love it. I think that would be great.

Get the crypt keeper in there. I like how you had to specify tales from the crypt because otherwise we would know what crypt keeper you'd be talking about. Was afraid. Do you think it was just like a regular crypt keeper? I'm talking about crypt keeper, crypt keeper, that specific one. Which wise, I believe you ended a sketch as the crypt keeper wants. Is that right? Oh yeah. I've done all sorts of bullshit. Yeah. Yeah.

I look back fondly on it. What was that? Was that the printer video I made? I think that might have been it. That might have been it. I thought you went over that one. I thought over the mic. You're like, good evening. Goose and bully. But like you did like a probably booze or whatever. Goose and girls. Yeah.

And then like, you know, sit something horny and weird. Yeah. Yeah. Classic classic classic tales of the crypt, crypt keeper. That's a wider fucking perv. But I think, I think the, the, the crypt keeper should, uh, he's got, he's got to play a role there. I think that here's, they're, they're running away from the crypt. I guess crypto.com is like, they're, their brand doesn't want to use the crypt.

They're like very, no, it's the crypto.com arena, but I think they should embrace it. I think run with that. Run with that. Yeah. People like it. The crypt is the only way it works. Yeah. That's the only way it's cool. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Well, we should find out if this chain is going to go in our crypt. Wow.

Or does it, uh, does it somehow end up in the hallowed halls of the golden play club? We're going to find out right now. Here's how this works. Carlos, we will each go around to give our closing arguments, closing thoughts on this particular chain and then end that by giving it a rating from zero to five forks. You are a guest. We'll begin with you. Um, based on the experience and based on what I've had and what I have around me,

I would give it one and seven eighths of a fork. Wow. I love it. One fork and then seven tines on a hypothetical eight tined fork. I love it. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

Fitting. Man, I was going to go a lot higher. At one point I was like, this is like a 3.5 in my mind. But after, and also to just break it down, anything else I got here, the double classic smash burger, tots, avocado, bacon, grilled, grilled chicken sandwich, classic crispy chicken sandwich, uh, Oreo cookies and cream shake, large smash fries, truffle mushroom, Swiss turkey burger. And then I got myself a Diet Coke.

I didn't eat all of that, mom. If you're listening and worrying, I took bites. You just sampled, you just sampled. And that's, I just sampled. Michael, I'm not listening. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. She has better taste.

Um, this is just a really strange one to me. I also don't, Carlos definitely didn't have as bad an experience as you did, but I also can't see myself recommending it to people. I don't know if they do exactly what they're trying to do well. And then hearing, like, uh, like I said, if it's like an aquarium burger or something, and also hearing like that this was born from like, I want to make like a big chain that makes money. I'm like, well, that's an issue.

You know what I mean? And not to say that there isn't chains that have done that. And, uh, and, and, uh, and, and, you know, the food is actually good, but you know what, smash burger, smash burger, you came up to me and you say, you want to smash? I'm going to, I'm going to say no. Thank you. I'm going to pass. Wags.

Wow. Wow. I'm going to send it to the crypt. But also it's not too bad that I like, I feel like it's like around three forks, but kind of like a weird disappointing three forks. No, I get it. It's the, it's basically this Laker season for you or the Celtic season. I guess I could have just used my own team.

So I'm going to, I'm just going to go with an even three forks because there's some stuff that I liked. I liked the idea of getting the turkey burger again, but it is just a really strange place that I don't know if it should exist. And I don't even know if it's a good smash burger. So that's it. Three forks. Yeah, maybe I'm being too nice.

I don't know. No, I think that's, I mean, I think both of, both of your cases are well argued. And I was maybe a little higher on this place initially because I had no expectations for it. And also because I had traversed so far, you know, like basically an hour round trip to, to get this and then, and then retrieve it. And so I was like in a headspace where I was like, well, this is not going to be, this is not going to live up to the amount of, you know, just raw time I had to put into acquiring

this. And I find, I found myself liking some of the things. I certainly really liked that vanilla shake. Again, I'm very surprised and saddened that the two of you had inferior shake experiences because I was like, well, this is one thing they did right. Maybe, maybe the add in the Oreo was the bad move. Yeah, maybe just a pure vanilla. Sometimes vanilla, sometimes I won't get flavored shakes, just vanilla shakes.

I feel like some places mess up the, the flavors. Yeah. Some places the mix ins, if they're hastily blending, it doesn't work. And hey, vanilla is a flavor. Especially if they're just like syrups or whatever it does in some very hard. I had to show you. It was helpful. It was helpful for both of us.

Thank you. You know what, you know what, I gotta, you know what, I gotta, I gotta ask a question too. Who named this place? The freaking Hulk? Was it the freaking Hulk who named this place? Because he likes to smash things. He's an angel investor. Was it the, was it the freaking Hulk that came up with his name is what I'm wondering?

Mitch, I don't know. I very well could be. We know he says Hulk smash. And if you saw a burger, he might say Hulk smash burger. So maybe that's what happened. I don't know. Thank you. Thank you.

I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say Hulk did found this place. Wow. Okay. I'm going to say probably not, but. Don't run away from me now. Boy. Egg and cheese sandwich was good.

Smash fries were fine. I didn't mind the seasoning blend, but I, but I could absolutely see some people preferring the plain version. Some of the stuff, I'm just not sure why it's on the menu. It's also a little confusing to order there, I'd say, because they have an array of sandwiches and then you can get any patty on any sandwich instead of there being like a separate, like here are the burgers, here are the chicken sandwiches, here are the turkey burgers. It's, it's just like for me, like as, as, as a newcomer, I found the concept a little bit confusing.

Workers were nice place, felt understaffed, but I mean, that's the story of every chain restaurant in the year of our Lord 2022. So I don't know. It wasn't, it wasn't bad. It certainly wasn't something I'd go out of my way for. Would you go back? Would you go back though? That's really the real question.

I know I wouldn't make a special trip for it, but if it was like the thing we were getting for lunch, then I could find something to eat here. You know, you know, you know, you know, you know the way I see myself getting smash burgers is that if it was literally on my block, if I lived in the, if I lived in the, the second floor, you live on the second floor. I live on the second floor in the suites. Yeah. Your roommate is the Crip Keeper.

The Crip Keepers. Grab me a chicken sandwich. My stomach is growling. You don't have to do it. Just you and I, Crip Keeper. You don't have to do that while I'm, it's just us together. I just, I'm, you know, I'm trying to be, get some reps in. Mitch, I hate to do this, but could you clean up the place?

I mean, it's kind of disgusting. Neat freak. The Crip Keeper. You don't have all like a pun for that. You're just like, you're just mad at me. No, yeah, just a true complaint. Oh, okay. Um, do it or die.

I guess. I don't know. That's okay. I guess. How about, I don't know, just, just a pitch. How about like, I'm having a hell of a time living with you, or should I say dying with you? That's, that's what I sound like, that impression that you just did. Yeah.

Honestly. Yeah. I don't sound like that. That's disrespectful. That would just turn into the golem. That's just the golem. I was just like, yes. It's all in the same general range.

I'm, I'm going to go, I still don't feel comfortable going below three forks just because I think like there was some competency here and there were a couple of things I enjoyed. But yeah, I wouldn't go out of my way and boy, fuck, we, we really, I just, this whole discussion just made me realize how much more fun we would have had going to Fat Sal's. We got to look, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll put it in the calendar. We'll, we'll, we'll have a return from Carlos and we'll hit up Fat Sal's because we got to, we got to visit that chain and we got to give ourselves something good. Man, they got some preamp just get their fries too.

They got a chili cheese fry. Oh boy. That's it. That's it. I'm going to stop talking about it. Yeah, we should have, we, we, we, we, we, I mean, Smashburg or whatever. It was one of the places we haven't done. Yes.

And it's a big chain. I think I'm harsh with it because it, because they're trying to be upscale. And I think that. Sure. If you're putting yourself in that position, you better come correct. And you're telling me that your shake, your Oreo shake is not, I mean, I honestly, jagged the box Oreo cookie shake is literally 10 times better than what I had at, at the price.

At least they have chunks of cookies in there when you can dig in at the end of it. Like, that's jagging the box. And that's like, at any time I could go and get that, there have to go pay $10 for parking to go to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, that's just a sunk cost for you.

Not that we can. Yeah, that's, that sucks. All right. Well, it was the third time. Me and the curb keeper have to pay that daily, just living at our home. So that's the tax, baby. I was going to say that the only way I would do it is if it was like, yeah, if it was on my block and also like, if I was going to get a burger, I'd want to get like a better burger.

You know what I mean? Like, you're going to want to get like a, a smash burger around here. You're going to want to go to burgers, never say die or something. You know what I mean? You're going to want to get the, you're going to want to get the real deal with a smash burger or you're going to want to go to, I'd rather go to Wendy's or whatever or truly or McDonald's. And so, so I guess maybe in that way of like the grilled chicken sandwich, if you got that

and some Brussels sprouts, it's kind of like you're having an okay dinner. I have like a healthy ish, a healthy leaning dinner, maybe for, for takeout. But, but in the turkey burger, you know, that's another reason that maybe I will go back, but I am curious about the turkey burger. Yeah, it's good, but it also, it's just not convenient to me. Like I'm never, you know what I mean? Like a, and it just seems like an insane thing to get delivered from, from downtown. So I'm looking at my receipt right now.

And, and yeah, I mean, it's, it's not exorbitant, but it's a little pricier. It's maybe a little bit more than you'd want to spend on a lunch for this quality of food. So, you know, it's that, that's another factor. Yeah, kind of, I think, I think a slightly disappointing, our reactions seem to range from slightly disappointing to very disappointing in this week's chain. So there you go. Are you going to hear it from people that love Smashburger? Are you going to hear it from them?

Of course. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. The Doughboys were too hard on Smashburger. It's there. It's good. It's, I like it. I can't believe that they actually thought the Hulk named it.

Yeah. I can't believe that they thought the Hulk named it. I can't believe that. I can't believe the Cryptkeeper didn't say a pun. He always says, he always has a pun. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Doughboys. Hey you!

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And hey, it's time for a segment. Mitch, first off, we should say, the two and I continue to have a back and forth about my snackrifice, the segment where we give up some foods, three snacks for the rest of the year. Now, last week, we were going to do it. You said no. This week, you said you'd do it if you had 48 hours' notice. That's right. So I told you on Saturday, more than 48 hours, 72 hours' notice.

I said, hey, just a heads up, we're going to do my snackrifice on Tuesday. You said veto. Yeah. You said you wouldn't do it. Yeah. I understand. What you did understand is that I had a verbal veto that was built in for next week's episode. Okay.

Do you have another verbal veto? Or was that your last verbal veto? There's one more verbal veto that I get. Okay. I'm going to say that we should plan on doing my snackrifice for next week's episode. Let this serve as more than 48 hours' notice. Wow. I'm going to use my second verbal veto.

He shouldn't be moving. He shouldn't be moving. That's a lot of emotional. Carlos, thank you. I mean, he wanted my snackrifice today, which would have been an insane 72 hours for me. Meanwhile, my fucking boss is breathing down my neck. Why is he telling me I got to come up with a fucking my snackrifice? Well, my boss, Emma, is telling us we need a segment.

So I'm just trying to get that done so he doesn't bust my ass. I'm already in the doghouse. So let me do a snack or whack. I'll eat some. I'll eat fucking. There's candy canes on my counter. I'll eat anything. Who gives a shit?

What is it, December? There's candy canes on the counter of your new place. Yeah, what happened? Don't worry about it. It's time for a segment, not my snackrifice. But, Mitch, we're in the midst of the wordle craze. That's right. I know you're playing wordle.

I am. Carlos, have you messed around with wordle? Yeah, I just started messing around, but I don't post it. I don't feel comfortable posting it. What I do is I just have my own thing with my friends where we're like, ah, you lost, you know, that kind of thing. Same thing. Yeah, same thing.

I'm not doing it on social media. But it's fun. I got to admit it's fun. And for those of you who don't know- Let me tell you, one of our former guests got me into wordle. Wow. I very much, I've played, I've gotten three in a row. So I don't even know if that's good, but I've just done three so far.

You know what I haven't done is like, how do you keep it so that it keeps checking? Because I just go to the website and like, I can't do any streaks. What's the way to- Oh, I don't know. Do you know? Maybe, I don't know. Because if that's the case, I haven't lost him. Let me tell you, Carlos.

I thought it just uses a cookie. I think you just get to it. Because it's just in the mobile browser. And then it was recently acquired by the New York Times. So I'm sure it'll be on that. You know what, it will pop up. It will say, please accept old cookies. And you know what I said to that?

I said, sure thing. I'll accept all the cookies you got. Don't mind if I do. I've got my own spin on the wordle craze. Okay. It's time for our new segment, why girdle? Oh my God. Why girdle is wordle?

Rolls off the top. I've got a five letter word that's related to food. This being a food podcast. So I've got a five letter word related to food. And you'll take turns and work together. You have six guesses to get it right. As we go, I will tell you which letters are correct and which are in the correct places.

Okay. We understand the rules of why girdle, which is just wordle, but with a food word. But with food, right? Carlos, I have a word I want to guess first. Okay. Mitch is going to go first. Go.

Go for it. Spicy. Spicy. Okay. S-P-I-C-Y. That's not it. That's not going to be it. Good job smelling it though, by the way.

We're going to make some joke about me getting wordles done, that it's impressive that I could be. I wasn't sure if you're going to have those, if that Y and that I were going to be the right place. But yeah, you pulled it off. Okay, so hold on. Let me figure out how to do this verbally. Okay.

Blank, blank, green, meaning the I is in the right place. Wow. I is in the right spot. Okay. Blank, blank. Wow. Well, so only the I. But it's in the right spot.

You have a correct I. Yes. Okay. And now we're going to remember, Carlos, we're going to remember the words we used. I'm kind of writing it. I'm kind of writing it just to kind of keep an eye on you. All right.

All right. I'm going to do the same. I was not, but now I will. Yeah. You have used D-R-I-N. Oh wait, I just gave you the word. The word's drink. Let me come up with a new one.

What the fuck? Are we going to do a new one? I read my word. I read the answer instead of the word you guessed. Sorry. What in the hell is happening? I'll come up with a new one. I'll come up with a new five letter word.

It's a really interesting version. I like this version where no matter what word you put it, it just tells you what it is. To your world. New one, new one, new word. Maybe you can tell it to another person. All right, new word, new word. We can't let the second fail.

The Washington Post. I also wrote in highlighted in my document, my show outline, don't say word. And that's what I did. I'll try not to do it this time. Okay, so don't say this word. I'm writing that down again. Okay.

Okay, a five letter word that's related to food. Carlos, do you want to take a stab at it? Yes. I'm going to say... Bread. Good guess. E-R-E-A-D. Okay, bread.

I like it. Blank, blank, blank, yellow. So yellow for the A. A, okay. Blank. So you've used B-R-E-A-D and the A is a yellow in the fourth position. Yellow meaning it's in the word, but it's not in that correct place. So we only have A to work with?

Yes. I got to guess why. Go for it, Mitch. Salty. Salty. Blank, blank, I'm sorry, blank yellow, blank yellow. The A is yellow. Hold on, I got to write this down again.

So it's not... This is trickier to do on paper than it seems. Now we have... So now we know that the second and the last... Blank, blank, blank. The second and the fourth letter. Wow, no... A, okay.

Yes, you still just have the A. The A is not in the fourth position. It's not in the second position, but it is in the word. Okay. And you've used up S-A-L-T-Y and B-R-E-A-D. All right, so then we have four more guesses to get it, correct? You have four more guesses, yes. A...

Wait, what was your second word? Second word was salty. First word was bread. Second word was salty, so this is back to Carlos now. Okay. I feel like he's doing a lot of adjectives and I'm trying to... I know, yeah. Bread is a better...

I feel like a better guess. So the only letter out of all those is the E, correct? The A, rather. The A is in the word, but it is not in the fourth position, not in the second position, but it is in the word. I had a guess now. It's a five letter food related word, but it wouldn't be right because the A isn't in the right spot.

Emma, you been playing wordle? I have not jumped on the wordle crazy yet, but now I'm curious and now I kind of want to. This might be the moment, or maybe this will be the moment that makes me never touch it. We'll find out. This is a different version. I have another word, but I don't...

But the A is in the same spot, so I know that it's not correct. But you might eliminate some letters. That's always the calculation you can make when you're going through the world. It would eliminate some letters, but it would also eliminate one, two that we've already done. So I'm not going to say it. The vowels you've used are A, E, and then Y, if you want to count it as a vowel, which you did in that context, salty.

I'm going to say, I can't, I don't know. Freeze. See, what I was going to say was cream, but I don't want to say cream because then all I'm figuring out is just a C and an M. See, yeah, C in the M, so soups, soups, plural. You want to guess soups? Why? Because this is hard.

There's no A in it. It's challenging. Okay, I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess. Damn. Carlos, do you have a word? No, but it doesn't have A. I was going to say juice, but it doesn't have A, and it has E.

It's also hard to find foods that are five letters. Yeah. I'm going to say, let's see if juice gets you anything because we're not playing a hard vote here. All right, juice. Is it a food or is it food related? That's the way you play the game. Just kidding.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't answer that. Don't answer that. Okay, we're going to put it in juice. This is our third guess, juice. Blank, blank, yellow for the I, blank, blank. So we know we have an A in an I. So an A in an I.

Yes, in the wrong places. The I is not in the third position. The A is not in the second or fourth position. We have those two vowels. We know there's an A. We know there's an I in it. Salad, S-A-L-I-D. I'm going to give it to you. Close enough.

Hold on, hold on. We can do this. Yeah. Food related word, five letters, has an I, has an A. Has an I, has an A. Do you think people are probably mad that we don't have this already, huh? The Dill Boy should have guessed it already. It's easy.

I got it. I was on my commute. I'm driving and I took out my phone to do it and I figured it out. Ha. We also haven't used like D. We have Dairy. You have used D in bread, but do you want to count Dairy? No. No.

Okay. No, because it doesn't. No. No. No. You also used the Y and the R in bread and the Y. Look, it was bad. It was a bad guess, but I was excited for a second.

It's okay. There's so many foods that are more than five letters. It's too hard. Also, the A would have been in a position that we said it's not in the I. All right, shut up. So you got literally no information. So now we have O. That's the only thing we haven't done anything with an O, right?

Yeah, you have not tried an O as far as vowels. So maybe that's it. We won't have another vowel in there. I mean, geez. Maybe. I want to try to get some. I want to try to get some. What are they called?

Constanence. Constanence. Yeah, that's it. It's a little bit. Contanence. Contanence. Let's get some continents in here. How much?

Do you have a favorite letter? Ooh, a favorite letter. Yeah. I don't know if I've ever thought about letters in terms of preferences. I got it. I have it. Which thinks he's had a brainstorm. No, I don't.

I don't have it, but I also think that it's a good guess. It's a good guess, I think. But I know that we know there's no R, but I'm going to say grain. Grain is the word. Grain. Hold on. Hold on. Let me write this down.

G-R-A-I-N. You guessed. Come on, that's a good guess. It's a good guess. It's blank, blank. Jesus. Yellow, yellow, blank.

So you still have the I and the A are in the wrong place. This is fucking bullshit, Ys. We would have gotten drink. Yeah, you would have gotten drink. I'm sorry. I accidentally said drink. Why, girls? This is the thing I was not supposed to do.

I think this is a good segment. Wow. It's very good. It's very good orally. A good audio segment, this written word puzzle. Wait, so that was blank, blank, yellow, yellow, blank? Yes. So as of right now, we still only have E and A?

You have A and I. So the A and I is A and I at the beginning? What the fuck? We know that the- And it's not the second A, so it can't be a E-M-A-V-N-E. Yeah, we know that the A is either, the A has to be in either the first position

or the last position. Those are the only places it could possibly be. And the I has to be in the first position, the second position, or the last position, the fifth position. And those are the only two letters we have. So far, we can eliminate from our keyboard. We only have two more guesses.

S, L, T, Y, B, R, E, and D, as well as J, C, G, and N. So that's a good section of the alphabet that's been taken off the board. Yeah. We gotta get a P or a B in there? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

I mean, I guess brain, but we know that R isn't in the damn word. Brain for the food? Did we have L already? Zombies, I don't know. L was in salty and L was not in the word. Wheat? No. H?

Well, it sounds to me like the first two letters are going to be consonant, so maybe we start thinking that way. I mean, wheat is not a... I know, but what I'm saying is if A, unless the I is in there, then that messes it up. Except, you know, we know that the A isn't in the wheat spot because of cream. Right. Do you want a hint?

Because I know this is tough without looking at it. I think I know it. Emma thinks she knows it. Okay, go. Emma, let's hear it. You're part of the game, too. You're in. What about pizza?

Wow. Green, green, green, green. Pizza! Emma wins. You know what always gets me double letters. Double letters always get me. Fuckin' pizza! Double letters are tricky.

It was pizza. Yeah, I never think of double letters, and that's the times that I have failed is when the other day it was null, and I was like, what is it? Yeah, null's a bad word. Pizza! Oh, fuck you. I think that the double Z was particularly tricky,

but Emma off the top rope with the win. Z's are hard because it's not in anything. Well, you did it. That's good. Good job. It's also hard when you're not looking at the words that are crossed out. Like, what's the easiest one? No, and this is a much more challenging version of it,

and you've got to have five guesses, and you've got a weird word. Oh, you know what I'll say? A huge success for a segment. Why Gertl is here to stay. Okay, great. Till we get sued. Great when you take it on the road. By the New York Times?

Yeah. Yeah, Michael Borbaro just serves us. How many letters is it? How many letters in C's? It is five. Yeah, there you go. Fucking pizza, fucking pizza. That's the only time you've ever said fucking pizza, pissed off.

It's going to be my smash burger, fucking pizza. That was why Gertl, we'll have my sacrifice for you real, real soon. But for now, just like a restaurant with value feedback. That's a good feedback. And today we have an email from Brandon Hinke, Brandon writes, I realized the other day that despite going to McDonald's all the time, I've never eaten a big Mac. I'm 29 and my go-to order, a quarter pounder meal,

has been basically unchanged for my entire adult life. Anyway, I gave it a try today and it was fine. I don't regret ordering it, but I don't foresee changing my aforementioned go-to anytime soon. My question is, is there a cornerstone food product that you didn't try for a really long time? Is there a signature food stuff that you still haven't tried? And if so, is there a reason you've put it off for so long?

So some sort of, it could be a regular item on a menu, it could be a seasonal item on a menu, some sort of well-known item that you just for whatever reason have never deigned to put in your mouth. Wow, I have one that I know that I've never tried and I want to. But also, can we send guests to the crypt? I want to send this guy to the fucking shit pit. You mean people who write into the, not guests,

people who write into the email. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Carlos, I did not mean you. I meant the person writing the email. No, listen, I know where I'm now at, so it's fine. That's not the case at all. You haven't tried a Big Mac forever, then you try it once and you say, it's okay, that's insane.

Why'd you know this is insane? I kind of get it though, because then you don't have any nostalgia attached to it. And what you have, what you want, when you go to McDonald's, the thing you want is a quarter pounder. I had the Big Mac later in life, it wasn't like I didn't, you know what I mean? Like I had the Big Mac later on.

And it's like the quarter pounder isn't like a little kid, you get that when you're older, you know what I mean? Anyways. But it does run on nostalgia for sure. Yeah. I mean, I had the Big Mac later in life, was it like high school maybe? Probably, yeah, I guess, but when I was younger,

when I was younger, it was like McDonald's, it was like cheeseburgers, whatever. Anyways, I've never had the KFC double down, the sandwich where it's two chicken. Ooh, yeah. And they take it away. And so now I don't know if I'll ever have it. Yeah, that's been discontinued.

It's been discontinued, so I don't know if I'll ever have it. It was pretty good. As far as like signature ones that I tried late, I can't think of anything off, I mean, some would consider that the Big Mac late for me there, or like a, because forever it was like, I think I was maybe a quarter pounder at one point. Like I feel like that's like your cheeseburgers,

and you go to quarter pounder, then you become an adult and you have a Big Mac. And you eat Big Macs from there on out because they're the best that there is. I don't know, I liked Whoppers as a kid, so I did have Whoppers. I'm trying to just think of all like the main line. We're going for fast food places?

Yeah, I think fast food places or sit down chains. I mean, I think they're both up for grabs. One thing I'll say is that Mitch, you and I doing this podcast and touring, we have tried some regional chains that we've never had before. And sometimes it's like, okay, does this actually live up to the hype?

I mean, one of them, and this is maybe a little bit unfair because they over expanded and now they're nationwide, and maybe some people would say the product isn't the same. But having Chick-fil-A when it finally came to California, I was like, eh, people love this place. People are like obsequious before the shrine to Chick-fil-A, and then you have it, and I always thought it was like, eh, it's fine.

But the thing that absolutely lived up to the hype was Culver's, when we went and had Culver's and similarly Dick's Drive-In in Seattle, when we finally had that, and I had both of those, well into it, when I'm doing this podcast, both just fucking home runs, just terrific. Yeah, both really, really good. No, you're right, and I guess for that reason alone,

excuse me, Chick-fil-A is probably one where I'm like, oh, the signature Chick-fil-A sandwich I had when Chick-fil-A came to Los Angeles, and also fucked Chick-fil-A, of course, but I don't know. Still a bit of a smash. Anyway. You know what, Taco Bell, which I say is the best restaurant, mm-hmm.

For me, I've had, like the Mexican pizza I had later, and now it's coming back, by the way, it's coming back, but some of that stuff, like, Gabriel's turned me on to the five-layer burrito, which I think is like one of the best things at Taco Bell, and that wasn't a part of my go-to order. And I feel like that's the place, because there's a lot of different things on that menu

that can, you know, that, like the Mexican pizza was probably late for me. I was gonna actually say cronchiza, but I'm sad that I never got to try it back in the day. Yeah. Yeah, there's, I feel like Taco Bell probably has a lot that you can mark off. Hmm, I'm trying to think of, like, other,

colors have some weird, yeah. The Whopper, the Big Mac, and honestly, McDonald's has a couple. The Big Mac, the Quarter Pounder, the Whopper, what else would you put in there? The Spicy Chicken Sandwich, I think, in my mind is one of them, but if not, what would you say from Wendy's?

Like Dave's Double or something? If we're just talking about their standard burgers. Ooh, they're like Baconator. Or the Baconator. Yeah, Baconator, yeah, sure. A Frosty would be one. McFlurry. Um, I don't know, I can't think of any,

now that it's, you know, like, I'm sure some stuff, like not to like my 20s, like a McFlurry or something, I didn't get, like, McFlurry's a bunch as a kid. So, you know, like some stuff a little later, but I don't know, nothing, nothing newer, but for me, the big thing is, and I'm looking at lists of biggest chains, and amazingly, number 62 on the list of biggest chains

at a place we reviewed, Mitch, that just came out in the past couple of years. Now with a thousand plus locations, obviously all virtual, Mr. Beastburger has already expanded that rapidly. Dear Lord. More locations than Sparrow or Zaxby's or Cinnabon. But as I'm looking through this list of chains,

there's a lot of places that they didn't try until adulthood because they just weren't in my area. And, you know, ones that like, I mean, Krispy Kreme was another one that expanded kind of nationwide, and the quality diluted a little bit. So when I finally had Krispy Kreme, I was kind of like, oh, what's all this hype about?

But other ones that I had later in life absolutely lived up to it. So, you know, Waffle House is a fucking home run. Another one that's just like a fucking humdinger. Great meals for Waffle House. I just had it for the first time. What'd you think? Last year.

Yeah, it was good. But people make fun of it, right? Like, it's like, Waffle House, I feel like. Yeah, sure. I feel like people will, like, it can be chaotic inside, but I do think that the, I think everyone agrees that it can be very good, too. You know, like, I think it's one of those things of like,

oh, you can go into like a shitty Waffle House, too, and have a bad experience, but. Like a White Castle? I had that one. Yes, like a White Castle is another one. There we go. There's one that I was late to. White Castle, because I didn't have any around me.

That is one that I was late to. So the Sliders from White Castle. But I can't think of anything else, and I also can't think of one I didn't try besides stuff that's gotten discontinued, or just location dependent. That's the part that's tricky for me, because they're like,

is there a signature food stuff you haven't tried thinking of places that I've been to? It was like, no, I've had fucking everything. Yeah. Because I'm a fat fuck, and I'm going to go, and I'm going to get every single item that's on the Jack in the Box menu, because I want to try it all.

So, I mean, especially with the podcast. No, if it's at a local restaurant, I'll have it. Yeah, 100%. I've had all of it. Man, Jack in the Box is something I haven't had in a long time, though, and that is one that I'm like. Ooh, I want to try their new mini tacos.

I haven't had, I just, they started coming out with those, or I just saw, I'm curious about those. God, we should have gotten a Jack in the Box. Yeah, we should have done Jack in the Box. Smash burger, we got Jack in the Box, we got a Fat Sal's. What are we doing to our guests?

Dude, there's a Jack in the Box across the street from Fat Sal's. Oh my God. We could have done one, we could have done a double binger wigs. Yeah, this is a, Emma, get us in line. Tell us to get our act together.

I've been trying for years, man. If you have a question or comment about Florida chain restaurants, you can email us at doboyspodcasts at gmail.com, or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot, that's 830-463-6844, and to get the Do Boys Double or Weekly Bonus episode, you can join the Golden Earth Platinum Play Club

at patreon.com slash doboys. Carlos Santos, thank you so much for giving us so much of your time. Thank you, yes. What did you like to chat with you about all things food? Anything you would like to plug at this time? Well, my sugar got canceled,

so I have nothing to promote. Damn. Yeah, no, it's still out there. You can still catch Hentified on Netflix. You know, and now I'm open. I'm a free agent, so I'm gonna go out and audition. Hell yeah.

Just like Mike. I'm out there. I'm out here doing these self-tapes and getting burgers to feel good about it. I'm hoping that you have someone to read with, and it's not just a family member. Oh yeah, I finally found somebody that I could call in.

I actually have a system done with FaceTime, so it's just a lot easier. But I will say I did some stuff last year that's gonna come out this year. Actually, I shouldn't sound so pessimistic. Yeah, I did a couple movies, and I know I did some stuff for Amazon. I did a movie that's coming out probably in the summer.

And another one, a horror movie I did from Blumhouse that's probably gonna come out in the fall, and I just shot that in Halloween, so that was fun. So yeah, actually, wait till that to come out. Yeah, but you know, the year is, year's young. Yes, so I'm excited about it.

Awesome, look for all that. And hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys till next time. For Mr. Slice, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher, happy eating. Weig's, as goes the app, as goes the restaurant. Should have said that like the Cripkeeper. There's no fun. As goes the app, as goes the restaurant.

Trying to make a pun out of that. It's impossible. Cripkeeper's phoned it in. Bye. On the next Doe Boys Double, Oink Oink, it's a very pig episode. Blank checks David Sims joins to review 2021 Nicholas Cage Revenge slash Food Movie Pig.

That'll do, Doe Boys. Get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description.