Doughboys - Steak 'n Shake 3 with Evan Susser

Episode Date: December 15, 2016

Friend of the podcast Evan Susser (Wedding Crashers 2, Sonic the Hedgehog) returns for the 'boys third visit to a third different iteration of Steak 'n Shake, the midwest chain splintered into multiple parallel concepts by owner Sardar Biglari. A discussion about the direction of the podcast turns contentious. Plus, a Rogue One edition of Dinner and a Movie.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1,000 years in the future, if current trends continue, scientists estimate global sea levels will have risen nearly 7 meters, a cataclysmic event that, according to astrophysicist Stephen Hawking, would mean the doom of humanity absent the colonization of space. And these pessimistic extrapolations for Earth in 3016 may prove true based on the events of 2016, when Americans elected as president a man who believes global warming to be a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. The endlessly despairing news of 2016 came on like the overwhelming floods of future millennia, a rash of global terror attacks, an endemic of domestic hate crimes, an Olympic

Games in Brazil overshadowed by the Zika virus and a heavily politicized impeachment, a gutter brawl of a US presidential election between the two least popular candidates in history and perhaps most troubling, the death of beloved guerrilla Harambe at the hands of a Cincinnati Zoo Sniper. And this podcast made some history of its own, the contentious Tournament of Chompians which crowned in and out as the world's best burger, the disastrous Olympic Susser Games, Rock Lobster Fester, a month-long tour of Red Lobster, we saw 50 new episodes and 4 new entrance to the prestigious Platinum Plate Club.

As we wrap up a momentous year in world events, and perhaps a more momentous year in Dough Boys, we bring back an old friend to revisit an old favorite. This week on Dough Boys, we return once again to Stake and Shake. Welcome to Dough Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. We're a part of FeralAudio.com. I'm Nick Weigar, alongside my co-host, Santa's Drowned Corpse, Mike Mitchell the Spoonman. Santa, hey, holiday thief. A little holiday one, a little jubilee for the winter season, via at-sad pizza party.

I already told you, it's Santa's season. It is Santa's. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Santa's signature laugh. What do you ask for Santa this year, Nick? What do you want? I don't write a letter to Santa as a grown man. No?

No. Oh, okay. You don't want anything for Santa this year? I mean, like, just for Christmas in general, I don't know, I don't think in terms of gifts that much. I guess, like, I always just think of the functional thing to have is just more money. So like, I feel like I always will take an Amazon card, because that's basically as good as money, because I can basically buy anything there.

Geez. But like, as far as an actual gift, like, I don't know. I don't know what to get. I guess it's kind of gone out the window now, as you're an adult. It's not as fun to... Yeah. Presidents aren't as fun as you get older. I do remember as a...

Like, giving gifts? Yeah, giving gifts is fun. Giving a thoughtful gift, if someone, if it really resonates with someone, that's pretty nice. Anyways, this is some boring shit to open up the episode. Yeah, real dull, real dull way to start off our final episode of the year. It's not my fault. It's like talking to a piece of coal.

Think of a little more charisma than a piece of coal. Coal gives energy. You burn it for... It's fuel. Wait, so you're talking up coal now? Coal? I'm saying coal is more functional than coal. Okay.

Anyways, to spoon nation, and here's a 45-second long drop. But it's hard. What do you feel like? I feel like you've got a... I mean, I... Even... You know, the thing... I...

You know... I... I... I just... The stirrup. Honey, I shrunk my face. I love the... I love the...

I love the... I love the turkey. Actually, I like Hobbit 2. I like Hobbit 2, too. Oh, wow. One quarter portion. Yo, E! Hey, did you tell Sloan I said, what up?

Yo, E! Hey, did you tell Sloan I said, what up? Hey, did you tell Sloan I said, what up? You know, I didn't even burn his beans. What on earth? I have no idea. Harry Potter's just a big, budget, you know, special effects, kind of shitty movie. I'm sorry.

Don't get mad at me for not liking it. Hey, Dave Matthews. Hey, Dave Matthews. You're a DMB fan? Hanford just saw him at a... Where were they? At some... At some Jewish deli.

I wish we could talk to the host at this point because he's Jewish and he could probably tell me which one. The host? Junior... Oh, no, the host. The guest. Oh, our guest, okay. Juniors.

Junior's deli. They was... Like Dave Matthews' band was just jamming at a deli? Yeah. I guess it's a pretty anti-Semitic way to figure that out. I'm sorry. I really thought you would know. Yeah, he was walking out of a Jewish deli.

He saw Hanford. Oh, he saw him on the street. He didn't see the band playing at a deli. No, he wasn't playing at a deli. I thought it was like a coffee shop sort of open mic situation where it's like, oh my god, there's Dave Matthews playing at this deli. A deli, yeah. No, yeah, a deli.

Yeah, no, I got that it was a deli. I just didn't know if he was performing or if he was there just like as a guy, as a civilian. Yeah, no, he was walking out. Yeah, we've established that. Hanford smiled at me and said, I'm a really big fan. And Dave Matthews said, hey, thanks, Hanford. No, you're welcome.

I don't think you knew his name. Right. Yeah. I doubt he recognized Mike Hanford for the birthday boys. Anyways, that was... That was Mike Hanford's last name. Duncan Pelletier at Dunktron. At Dunktron.

Thanks, Duncan. That was nice. He's from New Hampshire and he used to live in Boston. He says, go pass. He's a good guy. You should talk New Hampshire a little bit. I was because of the election. Yeah.

But you know what? They turned out they went blue. They came around. They went blue. They went blue. So good for New Hampshire. Didn't make a difference at the end. Hey, I grew up.

I was in Lake Winnipesaki where I swam in the lake and I went down to the boardwalk for Bike Week and I hung out in that area. I was right near Jeff Dutton's family's chocolate factory, which I didn't know existed at that time. Wait, Jeff Dutton's got like a Willy Wonka-esque candy empire in his family? His family has a chocolate factory. Really? Yeah.

And they also have... He said that they were molds for dicks. For a long time there was like dick molds. We didn't talk about that when he was here for Five Guys, did we? I don't know if we did talk about it. I don't think we brought it up. I feel like I would have remembered that. Yeah, or you're being rude and you just forgot about it.

It's possible. I wonder if the dick mold was after Jeff's. They took Jeff's pubescent dick and used it to sell Valentine's. I guess I wouldn't be much of a snack. You were saying it's pubescent dick. But yeah, it depends on what age you was. Yeah, no, he had a little Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. That's crazy.

I feel like Jeff's got a big dick. I don't think we need to talk about Jeff not having a good dick. He was pubescent. Right, yeah. The thing is that he was a child. Well, I said pubescent, not prepubescent. You're trying to say that child... You're trying to say that a child Jefferson Dutton had a big dick.

No, I'm not saying... That's what you were trying to get across. I said pubescent, not prepubescent. I was talking the teen years. And I feel like probably age 15, Jeff doesn't have a pretty big dick. That he's carried through to adulthood. He carries himself with a confidence of a man who's got a big dick. I'm sorry if this line of conversation is making Jeff Dutton or any of his friends and family uncomfortable.

I think there's another way. For all of our listeners out there, if you've seen Jeff Dutton's dick, you've got to tweet at us. Hashtag, uh... What? Dutton's Don. Right. Tell us the size of that thing. Dutton, you could just tweet it at us yourself, tweet us all up.

This is a food podcast for God's sake. Well, you brought up the dick molds at his parents' chocolate factory. There were dick molds at his... Chocolate dick molds at his parents'... Also, let's just say that it's improbable that they used his dick. Like, his parents are like, oh, well, of all the dicks we could use, how about our sons? Yeah, this is the son's small dick. That's probably unlikely.

Yeah, and he has a small dick. And again, I don't think it's... I think it's probably big. No, I think it's small. It's probably average to big. In your dreams, Wager. All right. Well, guess what?

What? Is this our last episode ever? Well, last episode of 2016... I'm gonna grab the mic. That's why you hear all this booming, this booming sound. Yeah, you're fiddling with it. I'm fiddling with it. I just like to hold...

I like to hold it near me. Right. Maybe if you hold the... Our engineer just shrugged. Maybe if you hold the, like, the base part, it will make a little less rumbling noise or does that not accomplish what you want in terms of holding something? Now your arm's fully outstretched. Yeah, it sucks.

You know, I'll just go back and forth the entire time. Do whatever you want. It's fine. It doesn't matter. Mic talk. Mic talk. People love mic talk. This episode's off to a bad start.

It's off to... Why do you think it's off to a bad start? We had a very awkward banter, and then we just talked about our friend's dick. Yeah, you know what's a great way to get us out of that bad stuff? Just get me in there. Get me in there. Get me in here. I think Susser can agree with me.

Here's our guest, Evan Susser. Okay. We're on the... Well, go ahead. I'll give him a formal introduction as I do all our guests. A screenwriter whose credits include the upcoming film Fist Fight with Ice Cube and Charlie Day as well as Sonic the Hedgehog, our good buddy, Tournament of Chompians Commissioner, the third dough boy, the real deal, Evan Susser.

The third dough boy? I love it. I love it. The man who's been on our podcast more than anyone else. Right. We have some... Here we are. We have some funny friends.

The funniest one. You keep on bringing back. Oh, I don't know. The funniest and most available friend. Are you writing movies? How are you so available for this? You know, I prioritize dough boys, which has probably been a mistake. Right.

It's been a bigger mistake for us. Yes. Because it's taken up such a larger chunk of our lives. Do you know what never helps on a podcast when you go, we're off to a terrible start? I think it can be good. I think, you know, addressing it, it can be nice. I have a few things. You said it first, though.

I thought it was gold. You said earlier, when you were talking, you referenced the banter being awkward. You don't let me do my thing. You said I had the charisma of a piece of coal. Yeah, that's true. That's the issue with the podcast. You, not me. I'm not the issue with the podcast.

Yeah, for sure you are. I'm keeping this. You're going to take the coal analogy. I'm the engineer driving this train. Oh, fuck that. You're the caboose always screeching the brakes back then. Guess what, people party in the fucking caboose. What part of the train am I?

Susser, you're the dining car. I'll take it. Yeah. No, you're the fucking... Nope, the dining car. You're the old West robbers that jump on the train. That's the coolest part of the train. I know what I'm saying.

You weren't a part of this train. I'm hijacking it. Yeah, you're hijacking it. Have you guys ever been at Knott's Berry Farm? They do a train robbery on that. I have not. It's a lot of fun. It sounds fun.

It's called Knott's Scary Farm then, even. Yeah, no. Even when it's not seasonally, not scary farm for Halloween, it's often not scary farm. You've got that simulated train robbery. No, you hop on the train. Is it like a Westworld sort of deal? I mean, they're humans. They're not animatronics, so it's not like a Westworld.

Are you sure they're humans? Maybe it is a Westworld. It could be a Westworld. Right. Maybe they're hosts after all. I just want to back up about Dave Matthews. I've been discussing that Mitch, you sing actually a great version of Crash Into Me. True.

And I was, you know, the idea of him being at the deli. I think I have it right. It's the same syllables for Crash Into Me, for hot pastrami. Do you think you could do a little of it? Hot pastrami, baby. Oh my God. Susser. I love it.

And I'll swiss cheese to you. What goes with pastrami? Mustard? Yeah, mustard. Michael, help me. I didn't want you to. I just thought singing the little bars of hot pastrami. I didn't want to have you improvise a whole song.

You're not Wayne Brady. I wish I was Wayne Brady. I wish I had. You just sit there. You say nothing. What am I supposed to do? I'm not going to help you. You're on the improv team.

You help me out. You jump in. I'm not like some song parody expert. I can't just jump in and help you with your impromptu weird owl impression. I don't know. Hot pastrami with hot cheese on the fly? No. It's not bad.

It was fine. You're doing fine. There you go. I love it. And a big old pickle. Susser, do you like hot pastrami? Yeah, I love hot pastrami. What would you say?

Okay, if you're going to a Jewish deli, what is your favorite thing to get there? I would say probably hot pastrami. Okay. You know, matzo ball soup also. Back up that pastrami real quick. You like it on rye? You like it on a roll? What do you like it on?

On rye, you know, that's the traditional thing, especially if it's good rye bread. Right. Bad rye bread is the worst. Yeah, it's so dry. Yeah. Also, of course, you are a robot. I'm mad at you. Are you saying I'm a Westworld host?

You are. That's good. Pastrami. Susser, do you like pastrami? You can help. We can joke about stuff. You can joke around. Yeah, we can joke about stuff all the time.

We are off to a great start. This is good. Let's roll this fucking 12-minute portion of the trash. What do you feel about that? Yeah, drag it into the recycle bin and we'll start anew. Welcome to Doughboys with our guest, Evan Susser. Hey, guys. How's it going?

Here we go. All right. So, 2016. What a year, right? Yeah. This episode feels like 2016 pretty much. It has the same vibe of what the hell happened. It's a mess.

It's a mess. Does anyone's mad at each other irrationally? Yeah. Well, I think that, you know, it's great that we kind of get the opportunity to take it all in, think about the past year in the world and also the year in Doughboys. Right. Oh, my God. What?

Why is that bad? I guess we could think about the last year in Doughboys. Yeah, I mentioned that. I alluded to this a little bit in my intro, but just like it was momentous in both the Doughboys universe and in the universe at large. You know, I've got a few little treats and surprises for this episode and one, you know... What? I'm just saying, what is this episode?

It feels like I'm walking into some weird... No. You have a red folder. But I think that, you know, I took to Reddit, the internet message board platform Reddit. Right. And I asked people what their favorite Doughboys moments of 2016 were. Wait, which subreddit did you go to? I went to the one on Ear Wolf because that's the one that people use even though it's

on Feral Audio. Yeah, there's a Feral Audio subreddit which is a graveyard and then there's the Ear Wolf one which is hoppin' where there's... Oh, go on. What? It's on a graveyard. Just no one uses the Feral Audio one for the subreddit for whatever reason. It's nothing, it's Feral Audio.

I love Feral Audio. We're a part of Feral Audio, but the subreddit is pretty... People don't frequent it. People only use it. People use the Ear Wolf subreddit. Okay. And they talk about our podcast on the Ear Wolf subreddit for whatever reason. It's tough to look at some of those because I've looked at some comments before and it's

just tough to read some of that stuff. Right. Well, people love you guys and they also love even maybe when you guys kind of get on each other's nerves a little bit. Right. That was one of the big themes. I asked people for some of their favorite moments and this one, Nick, you might remember you unraveled a little bit on the subject of French fries.

So, if you don't mind... Okay. I'm gonna... Hey, it's not so easy to play these fucking drops, huh? Look, I'll say that I'm in the minority here. I prefer the skinny fries, but I would say for anyone out there for your Made in Fat Burger experience, yeah, go with the fat fries. And that's what they're known for.

I think you might just not like fries because you like In-N-Out burger fries. What the fuck are you talking about? Like In-N-Out burger fries? I do. I like their fries. I don't like fries because I have different tastes in fries than you? Oh my God. That's insane.

This is the thing I got you the most, man. I'm just... That's more ridiculous. I don't like fries. How could you think I don't like fries based on my taste in different chain's fry preparations? I love fries. I've never heard Nick yell before. I look.

When I get a steak, here's how much I like fries. They're like, you want baked potato, mashed potato, I say, can I get fries? I get fried chicken. They say, you want mashed potatoes? They say, how about some fries or some potato wedges? Okay. It's my favorite potato preparation. And there it was.

Yeah. So Nick, what do you think it was about that comment from Mitch? Because he certainly made a lot of insulting comments, a lot of... He's just needling me. He knows how to push my buttons. That's what he's good at. But he's called you a sex offender numerous times. Right.

But I know that that's just funnin'. But when he was saying that I don't like fries, it was so... I felt like I was being... I know I'm probably using a term that I shouldn't use in a wrong way, but I felt like I was being gaslighted. That's not what my reality... I know I like fries. You can't just tell me I don't like fries because I have...

Why are you having a constant battle with reality? I'm just saying, you were telling me my reality that the way I exist is at odds with the way I see the world. You were just trying to... And you were doing intentionally. You knew what you were doing. I said that I didn't like a certain kind of fries as much as you did. And so you said I didn't like fries in general to make me think I was insane.

And it kind of worked. I went a little unhinged there. But I stand by that. I love fries. They are my favorite potato preparation. And I think that what that speaks to is just that the chaos that Mitch causes on this podcast by virtue of his just saying inanities and then forcing me to try and figure out how to respond to them.

Now, Mitch, come clean. Were you trying to push his buttons when you said that he... Just listen to how he was speaking. First of all, I also want to say this is great, Susser. Do you remember this moment? Now, hear it through my iPhone, into the microphone. If it's possible to drop it in, you know, maybe we'll do that. Probably we won't.

For those who want to listen back and hear that in the context, that was from the Fat Burger episode. With your Marataylor. Marataylor, exactly. You can hear it really in beautiful audio if you download the original. I do think that the phone in the microphone works better than we give it credit for. I think it actually sounds pretty good on the receiving end. Maybe we could have an aux score in here though or something.

They're kind of a certain gritty, you know, like, hey, we're just, you know, a couple guys trying to do our best. There's like a coolness to it, I think. Right. If you're just hanging out with the three of us, then we just play it on our iPhones and that's what you do. DIY sort of feel today. There you go. That's not true.

Anyways, yeah, you know, I mean, I was just giving him a hard time. He can't handle it. You were giving me a hard time. So, yeah, you were trying to push my button. Yeah, I need to do a little bit. And guess what? You're fucking broke down. You're fucking broke down.

I didn't break, I didn't break down. I broke it down and explained how much I care about fries and how much I love fries and how insane your position was. Do you know what's funny? How insane your baseless allegation was. You're saying this right now. I don't believe you like fries. I love fries.

You're not going to get me again. I love fries. Now, Mitch, fair is fair. You've also had broken down a few times. And sometimes not even by wires doing, sometimes just by your own. Do you remember a time when you tried to think of a certain hashtag that drove you a little nuts though?

Let's... What is this fucking KCK some bullshit you're doing? Let's play that clip. Oh, man. That's Rocky Road is okay. I'm going to also just quickly say, give it to us quick and also hashtag your, fuck, cart, cart, cart.

I don't even know what you're trying to say. I think Mitch may be having an aneurysm in the studio. Hashtag, hashtag, heart of cart. Shit. What is going on? Hashtag, hashtag, heart of my heart. Who is your favorite Super Mario cart character that you like to play? Heart of my heart?

That's what you landed on? Yeah. All right, great. Yikes. So that was from the Yogurtland episode with someone I know very well, Van Roba Show. That's right. And so that was a lot of stuff came out in that episode.

Van Unveiled, Mitch.Pizza. That's right. And several other things. Do you think it was just all of that kind of getting to you? Do you think it was just the podcast, all of 2016? What do you think happened in that moment? Yeah, for sure. I think, first of all, we better not do this fucking therapy session for the rest of this

fucking episode. Those are the only clips I have. All right. Thank God. Here's my issue is, I'm trying to sing a Dave Matthews, Pistrami song. Wagner insists they're stares at me. And then he says, actually, hey, what do you think about Pistrami?

He comes up with the most boring question. I've come up with something food related for our food podcast. Well, help me out. Sing a fucking Dave Matthews song. What the fuck are you doing? This isn't whose line. We need to entertain these people. We're plenty entertaining.

People will come to us for impromptu song parody. People do care. People care about food opinions. People are passionate about food. That's why they listen to the show. I love food, too. That's why they engage with us. Could you at least say, uh...

I don't know. And all the little pickles are marching. See, Susser doesn't. I don't even know the song. That's great. I don't even know the song. It's marching. Little pickles marching instead.

I also thought it could be ants spelled A-U-N-T-S. Ants marching to the Jerusalem. All right, okay. All right, great. All the little ants are marching. Is that the same song? That's ants are marching. No, it's ants are marching.

It's a different song. We jumped from one... Yes, see? Susser gets it. What was the first song you were doing? Crashing to me. Okay. Pustromy.

Pustromy. You forgot? Which one's the one that's like... Too much. Is that too much? Yeah, that's a song about food. Okay. It also sounded like you were singing...

That's what I thought you were doing. Hale to the Chief? Hale to the Chief. Anyways, I feel like sometimes you tighten up too much on me, Weiger. I think that's kind of the dynamic. What do you mean a tighten up? You tighten up on me. I want you to let that collar down, you know, and I want you to let out that free-flowing

hair, that improviser Wyger on you, back on last day of school. I will say in Mitch's defense, Mitch is in a flannel shirt where the collar is seemingly flopping in every direction, and Nick is with a very, you know, I don't know if you have collar stays in there. Oh, I got these collar stays in here for sure. Yeah, a very stiff collar, so it is accurate that Mitch does let his collar down, literally. It looks like you're going to do like a 70's sketch or something. I've got like this floral print shirt on, which you'll see in the guest photo that we'll take

at the end of the show. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I feel like I'm decently dressed right now. I'm a little bit of a buttoned up guy, and this is my personality coming through in my dress. Oh my God. Mitch, would you want to host this show with another yourself? Hell yeah.

Are you kidding me? Double the pleasure, double the fun. Just two mitches patting each other on the back throughout. Fatting each other on the back. Banal insights. It's four and a half hours late for every record session. Oh, excuse me, Wiger. People tune in because of the deep Wiger observations, man.

You know, I will say on the reddit comment, a lot of people were very complimentary of Wiger's intro, and they asked for a supercut of the best of, which I did not do. Yeah, that's a lot of work. Yeah, that was a lot of work. But I mean, I think that you guys are the perfect yang yang yang, the perfect comedy team for our time. The best comedy team of 2016, I'll say it right here. Oh boy, what a thing to say.

I'll take the compliment. Thank you, Susser. Who are we beating out? I don't know. Who else? Keen Peel? Yeah. Also, we've already lost.

Who else are they? What are the other comedy teams? The Sklar Brothers. The Sklar Brothers. We'll lose. Efron and Franco. Maybe. I don't know if that's a real team.

Wait, Efron and Franco? Have they done a movie together? I'm thinking of Dave Franco. Oh, Dave Franco. I mean, not really. How about Franco and Franco? Franco and Franco? The Franco Brothers?

Mm-hmm. Okay. I don't know. Rogan and Efron. Rogan and Efron's probably better, yeah. They're both neighbors. Franco and Franco sounds like a company. It does sound good.

That's good. It's good stuff. Franco American is a company. They make spaghettios. Oh. I always thought that it's weird that it's Franco American to make spaghettios, but it's an Italian dish. Huh.

Just a curiosity about the food service industry. It's true. It is curious. It's true. Yeah, you're right. The podcast should be more like this. I love you, Nick. Hello?

I'm not going to respond. I think Nick's mad at me. I'm in a sour mood. Are you? Okay. Hold on a second. You can just say I'm in a sour mood and say no. I'm fine.

I'm going to bury it. I'm going to bury it and move past it. Do you? So, Cesar, it's been a big year, though, like for the podcast, and I don't want to be too up our own ass here, although we're already dangerously up our own ass. We definitely are. Yeah, let's go back to it. At this point, we might as well just keep digging.

We started with talking about Jeff Dutton's dick size. That's true, yeah. I thought that was the most fascinating part of the podcast. That was pretty good. I am genuinely curious about that. Okay, so we had ... Don't be mad at me. This is a long ... It's fine.

We had a very long year. No, it's not fine. We had a very long year, and it's like part of what you realize how long the year is, is that the Tournament of Chompians, which was when we had the burger brawl, we took all eight different burger places, ended up being, I think, nine or 10 with the Eden matches. That was this year. That was March of this year. I know.

It is crazy. I didn't realize that when I was looking back at ... Right. I was curious about March Madness being people's favorites. I thought it was inappropriate for me to say that, but ... Munch Madness, rather. Munch Madness. Sorry.

What a roller coaster this is. Yeah. It really has been. We peaked early. Yeah. To me, that was so much fun. I think it's kind of an open secret that we tried to kind of replicate that with the Olympics.

Yeah, and that didn't go very well. That didn't go very well. I also thought the Olympics was bad. Yeah. The Olympics was bad. We all agree the Olympics was bad. The Olympics was bad, and I said, what's the point of this? No one knew what the ... Listen, I get a lot of shit.

I think I'm getting you more angry because I don't do stuff. You get mad at me for being lazy. Yeah. But I'm right to be. You're right to be lazy? Yeah. Yeah. You're right to exert no effort.

No. Oh, God. I'm saying that the Olympics were a disgrace. Yeah. The Olympics were very bad. We agree. Yeah. We all agree.

There were three bad episodes. The Olympics. We don't have to. That was ... You're right. We tried to force a gimmick. That was a bad decision. We shouldn't have done it. We've learned from it.

We're moving on. I think that the next promotion we did afterwards, Rock Lobster Fest, which, to your credit, was something that you came up with and lobbied for. That's true. That was a good idea. It was a much simpler, easier to grasp concept. We're going to go to Red Lobster four times in the month of October. That was very easy for people to understand.

Its purpose was clear. Its mission statement was clear. That's what we need to do with future promotions. I think we also don't need to do so many promotions. I think we do. I say promotions because I don't have a better word for it, but whatever, themes, I guess, is a better term for it. Something to change up the monotony of everyday life.

Right. When we have a theme, I don't think we need to try so hard. I think the munch madness is as far as we need to push it. This is a holiday, a Christmas or Hanukkah episode for people listening. It's so dark. You're yelling it. It was a tough year, but we're going to come out of this all right. You're fucking insulting me.

Wow. You are. You're insulting me. I'm not insulting you. You're effectively calling me dead weight. You're saying that what I contribute to the podcast is not why people come to the podcast. No. That's a very insulting thing to say.

I know, but I was joking around with you. All right. Do you know who put us all in a better spirit when he was around? Who? Dobley's intern, Yu Song. Oh, Yu Song was great. You know what? Yu Song should just take over this podcast.

I think at some point he'll pass the torch to him. Well, we can't have him take over this episode, but we do have a message from him all the way from France. Wow. He's in Paris right now doing a semester abroad. He woke up at 3 a.m. to record a message. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Yu Song. Why did you do this, Yu Song? Don't listen to the censor. Here it is. Hello, everyone. Mary Spoonmiss and Happy Holidays. I've been asked for a food update from France. So here are some of the biggest things that I've noticed.

One, French fries are generally eaten with mayonnaise and ketchup here, which is a little unfortunate because I think I prefer ketchup. And two, this isn't so much a chain thing as it is a pre-packaged sandwich thing, but in supermarkets, like, there'll be an option for ham and cheese and then salami and cheese, but then there'll also be an option for smoked salmon, and it'll be just as cheap, and it seems weirdly gourmet, but I've really been enjoying those. And three, McDonald's, or as people call it here, Macto, seems to be really trendy amongst young people, and I think that's the same for hamburgers in general.

Anyway, I wish I could be there in person to extend the Happy Holidays to you guys and Evan and producer Justin and everyone listening, but thanks for having me on. And also, I agree with the decision to put Okra in boring food jail. Yeah. Bye. Bye, Yousong. Let me speak for Mitch real quick. Hey, Yousong, fuck you for all that information.

No one wants to hear about food on this food podcast, you piece of shit. Fuck you. Oh my God. He got you good, because I think we can all agree that was the best minute of the podcast so far. It was very informative. It was interesting. People like to hear things like that.

And now we have stuff to talk about. Floundering. Yousong and Mitch podcast. He would grow to hate you very quickly. Not before he would get eaten by you. Hold on a second. You're mad at me. I'm joking.

I give you a hard time. That's what I do. I know that you're beneficial to the podcast. I just wish you'd loosen up sometimes for God's sake. I'm plenty loose. I'm conversational. I'm responding to the last thing that people say. I'm plenty loose.

I'll kill you. I'm very loose. It's Christmas. It's still time to figure this all out. What are you going to ask for Santa, Mitch? You put a wiger on the hot seat. No. I think as you get older, my mom wanted to know if I wanted an Alexa, the talking tower.

What is that? It's like you're like, hey, Alexa, I don't know. Wait, is that the Amazon thing? Yeah, it's kind of like scary. The Amazon Echo. That's my issue. I don't know what I want to ask Alexa. I realize I have one of those.

It's the Amazon Echo. Yes. The one you addressed it is Alexa. Oh, I'm sorry. It's pretty useful. Oh, the Amazon Echo. What is that? What do I call it?

I call it the Alexa. I think the Alexa is Samsung. Oh, maybe the Alexa is something else. Oh, shit. What the fuck do I call my Echo? I think it is the Amazon Echo. Oh, maybe. There's one that's a tower.

I don't know. I think I call it Alexa. Oh, this is always a favorite part of podcasts when someone can just Google what we're trying to think of for two minutes. I think it is the Amazon Echo. It's pretty handy. You can play Spotify libraries. You can set alarms.

I find myself using it from time to time. It's not an essential item or anything, but it's nice to talk to something. Does the Echo ever complain that you're not human enough? Hey, why do you yell at him for God's sake? See, that's a fair burn. It's from love. That's an earned. That's an earned.

It's from love, too. That's an earned, justified burn. Shut up, you fat fuck. What the fuck? That's where we go. That's where we go. Very earned. You fat fuck yourself.

I'm going to kill you. Hey, hey, that's mean. One thing I wanted, because YouSong talked about dipping French fries and mayonnaise, which is something that they talk about in an early scene in Pulp Fiction. Jules and Vince Vega talk about that when they're talking about the Royale with cheese. I'm wondering if YouSong was born before Pulp Fiction came out. Let's see. He's in his senior year of college.

He's probably 22. He's 21, 22. That movie came out in 1994, I want to say. He was born after Pulp Fiction. He's probably born just after Pulp Fiction. I want to clear it up, YouSong, if you're listening, tweet at us, hashtag pre-pulp, if you were born before Pulp Fiction, and hashtag post-pulp, if you were born after Pulp Fiction. Great.

Hey, Weiger? Yeah. I need you to accept my apology. What a great year. It was great. I accept your apology, bitch. It's fine. That's great.

This is a great episode. We're doing good things. We're coming together. This is when we'll have a big surge of unsubscribing at this point. A lot of people at the end of 2016, they're like, we need to simplify. I'm listening to too many podcasts. They'll listen to this awful episode, and they'll be like... I'm going to join the gym and cancel my podcast subscription.

I'm going to cancel my subscription to Doe Boys. I'm going to streamline it. I'm just going to get down to a few ones that I actually listen to that are actually good. Which is good. Right. Yeah. Simplify. If you listen to this podcast, maybe don't.

Maybe it's time to cut ties. Abandon ship. So beyond the Doe Olympics, we had that fiasco, the Tournament of Champions, which was pretty good. Outside of the podcast at large, Possessor, what are your thoughts on the year in food? The year in food. Interesting. Any food trends that came about, or came and went, any great restaurants, great meals

you've had this year? I've had some great meals in local LA restaurants, but I don't know how interesting that is to talk about. I had... I didn't tell this story. I went... It's been... I'm glad I'm getting to clear this up.

If you guys remember, during Munch Madness, I was asked a decision where Burger King was going up against five guys, and I very controversially said Burger King. And the reason that I said that was I actually had an experience where I went to Thailand this year with my wife. And it was a great trip. It was a lot of fun. There was a lot of great food. But after a while, there was a lot of Thai food.

And when we were seeking out good places, it was great. But when we just go to kind of wherever, just like any city, it kind of got to be a little monotonous in the same type of cuisine. But we were at an airport, and the options were a Thai place that looked very generic and like all places that we've been to, a lot of them, and a Burger King. And after days of just having Thai food, I said, you know what? I'm going to try a Burger King. And God bless it.

The Burger King in... I think it was Chiang Mai Thailand Airport. It was maybe the best Burger King experience I've ever had. The airport one. Yeah. Wow. And I think to this podcast, it speaks to what can be so great about a chain restaurant when you're in a foreign place, not necessarily as foreign as Thailand, and you find a familiar

place that can give you a little bit of comfort, a little bit of taste of home. I mean, chains can be really great in that kind of way. And that Burger King Whopper, I mean, it was as good as any Whopper you'd get in the good old US of A. Wow. So that was a 2016 food story. Susser's Right. Burger King should have won the Tournament Chompians.

I'm trying to think, what about you guys? Did you have any particularly memorable... I've been a mangrove again. In and Out Burger One, it was a clear winner. God. It won the Chompianship. I'm no, I'm joking. Yeah.

I'm just saying that factually, if we're looking at the canon of the show, that In and Out Burger is the best burger, and it was decided by the, according to the Tournament Chompians. I think we also saw a lot of politicization of food this year. We had, you know, Donald Trump, our future president. Big fast food consumer. Big fast food consumer. Tweeted a lot of pictures of him eating fast food. Right.

Mike Pence went to a Chili's with his family, tweeted that. There is definitely, I mean, I think that... People are boycotting Grubhub as we speak and writing their Trump name on Starbucks cups. Starbucks cups, right. Yeah, that's a big thing. Because there is a bit of a cultural divide between the, for lack of a better term, the urban elites and middle America in terms of chain restaurants.

And I feel like we're kind of maybe unique in our circle of, I don't want to say unique, that's unique is too far, but we're, a lot of people I feel like in LA don't go to chain restaurants or it's like an occasional like indulgence, but a lot of times they're avoiding that sort of thing. And sometimes I feel like there was a time, maybe it's sliding back the other way, but there was a period where chains were even looked down upon and people were like, chain restaurants are fucking bullshit, ugh, I would never eat a chain restaurant. They're kind of being evaluated at a different metric from like, there's chain restaurant

food and then there's good food. And I feel like that's definitely an element of our ongoing culture war, like the way we eat and the, whether we're eating local, whether we're buying food at farmers markets, whether we're preparing food on our own, whether we're eating healthy or whether we're eating just like shit. There's a lot of, one of the many ways in which our society is divided is upon, is at the dinner table. I agree with that.

I think that it was funny to see Donald Trump eating McDonald's. It was very like, it's like he's on his private plane and he's got like these, he's got like this greasy fast food and he's eating it, but I mean it does in a way make him relatable to, you know, like, because that is like a very common experience, I feel like for everyone, regardless of your socioeconomic status, we've all had just picked out on KFC at some point. I have a prediction. I think that your listenership here on Doe Boys is probably more divided politically than most kind of podcasts that come from the comedy world.

And so, you know, maybe this kind of podcast, there's so much talk about how, you know, there are two Americas, maybe Doe Boys is bringing the country together. I love doing the Doe Boys podcast, but, and you know, I love fast food, but if anything, this podcast has made me hate fast food and food has become more of a chore. I'm going to resign from the Doe Boys podcast. You guys have kind of teased about ending the podcast. I think after Wiger's reaction today, I think I'm going to step down. You can do it with whoever you'd like to.

I think 2016 would be a fine time to end the podcast. Like, we could just have this be the last. This could be the last podcast. If this is the last episode, I'm fine with that. We never have to, like, I think we have to, just sequentially, we have to record one more to fill in the gap before this episode, but I think that we... This is it. This is the last Doe Boys.

This would be the last one. I'm fine with that. Me too. Okay. All right. This is the last episode. So, we've made the unsubscribe decision for you, the listener. If you are going to unsubscribe, you don't even need to exert that effort now at this

point. You can keep the subscribers number the same, but no new episodes are going to come in. We never did McDonald's. We never did McDonald's, right? Or KFC for that matter. There are a lot of great ones. There are a lot of the great ones. A lot of the great ones, whatever, are still out there.

Is this because you don't want to work with me anymore? I'm happy to work with you. We've had plenty of feuds in the past. It's fine. Well, Kate, like, we have a working relationship. This seems worse. There seems something deeper. What's deeper about it?

It's fine. You keep saying it's fine. Because it is fine. I'm saying that things are fine, but I'm also fine with this being the final episode. I don't care. We can cut ties. I don't care. I don't want to tether to anything.

I will walk away from something and never return to it. It doesn't matter. It does not matter. I will not, and I will not look back on it with nostalgia. You mentioned last day of school by improv team earlier this year. I mentioned this in the Hayes and Sean episode. I left that at the start of this year. I have not for one second, even though I had a lot of great fun there, I had made a lot

of good friends, never once have I regretted it. I have not looked back and been like, oh, man, I wish I could do that show again. Oh, man, I wish I could pop in with those guys and do a reunion show. One time. Have I had even the slightest bit of regret about this? Slower down. Sure. I just heard a lot of your teammates listening to this show, and I'm sure they love you.

No, I love my team. I love my teammates. They're great friends that I made on that podcast. I had a lot of good times, but I'm just saying, not on a podcast, on a live show, on a live improv show. Thank you, Mitch. I had a lot of good friends there. I had a lot of good times over the years, but once I'm done with something, I'm done

with it. I can compartmentalize it in my mind and move forward, and I can do the exact same thing with this podcast. If you want this to be the last episode, it's the last episode. We're done. I want the rights. You don't get the rights. This is very interesting, because while Nick is very good at letting things go, Mitch,

I've got to tell you, you're not so good at letting things go. I think that you talked a big game about not wanting to continue the podcast, but I think now that it's actually becoming a reality, and I can make this reference because of my heritage, you're a little bit like Liam Neeson at the end of Schindler's List, and if I could have just reviewed one more restaurant, you're talking about McDonald's and KFC, I feel like you're now full of regret. You consider the film Schindler's List part of your heritage? Yes, part of my filmmaking heritage.

That's strange that you could reference it because... You know, Steven Spielberg went to Cal State Long Beach. There's no little Long Beach connection. And is it true that he's going to be on the podcast in 2017? Well, not anymore. The podcast is over. It's over. Nick, I love what you do for the podcast.

I appreciate you as a friend and as a podcasting partner, and I just like to try to loosen you up a little bit. That's all I'm trying to do, and I guess I pushed the wrong button a couple of times here today. That's for sure. It's fine. You didn't do anything. You're saying what you feel.

You're saying what's in your heart. It's fine. It doesn't bother me. No, that wasn't in my heart. I don't really think that you're dead weight for God's sakes. In fact, I never even said those words. Yeah, I know. I was saying the way I interpreted your argument.

No, that's not at all. I just need your help. Oh, Jesus Christ. I just need your help, Nick. That's all. Like, Mitch, we know I'm happy to have you on the show. I knew going in, and I knew from the first episode, and I knew when I talked to the other birthday boys, your sketch group, when we were going to do this podcast, and the

consensus I got from them was like, he's your problem now, which was fine, but I also knew going in that people would like you more because you're more charismatic than me. You're more likable than me. You're a very, very funny man. You're a very affable man. There's something about you that just makes you huggable. I'm just like, oh, I just like this guy. Oh, Nick, I don't know if people like Mitch more than you.

I think it's pretty clear that they like Mitch more than me. That's what I've ever done. But I'm just saying, there's such a, it's the dynamic, it's the stiff versus the every man. It's kind of the dynamic, and I'm not saying that you're Donald Trump, but I'm saying it's kind of the dynamic we've encountered in our presidential election, or if you want to look at past elections, let's not throw Trump into it. Let's say John Kerry and George W. Bush.

No, this is all bad things. People could say that John Kerry was a very competent, capable man. People said he was very smart, but like, I just like that other guy a little bit more. Like I knew what I was getting into. But I don't even know that's true. I feel like people, I told you we read those message boards, okay, Mitch, you're the John Kerry. You do have a Massachusetts connection.

No, that's not, there's this weird thing where you break it down like this. I just want you to listen. I'm conscious of what the dynamic is, and I'm working to try and facilitate and enable that. Also, didn't you used to say that the birthday boys thing about me being hard to work with wasn't true? You've now done a 180 on it. No, I think, I don't think you're that hard to work with, but I think you have a reputation

because you are opinionated and because also too, you're very, like you are late to things. You are like, like you are very late to things and that becomes a continuing source of frustration. It just because of the nagging thing. And so if you have another problem on top of that, it's just like fucking Mitch, he's always late, like that's always in the back of your mind. He's always late or in front of your mind, however you want to characterize it. And then whatever other problem you're contributing to the situation, whether it's you being just... Jesus Christ.

I'm just saying like that's just like a constant thing. And so that's why people think of you as a problem. And whether it's like, you know, like he doesn't reply to emails, you know, I mean, like just, it's just like there's a number of annoyances with in terms of working with you that I think are worth it. Like I'm willing to look past all of that because you're such a talented man. That's very sweet. I think you're a very talented man too.

And I just, the picture that I painted that I've been painting here, yes, I know that where this is all coming from. I was late today by 15 minutes to lunch. We went to Hooters for lunch at 11 a.m. Right. I just want to say that I was literally... We're recording this to the same episode, the same day. We recorded the Kulap episode, which came out two weeks ago as of if you're listening

to this first and now we're recording the seven seasons. So put them side by side to hear our roller coaster of a day. We recorded at 11 a.m. I was literally depressed to go up to Hooters at 11 a.m. Right. That's the truth. I mean, I just was. And I was 15 minutes late.

Yeah, I am. I don't... If we're doing all these... It's hard. It's hard to do these fucking eat at these restaurants all the time. I agree. I don't... It's hard to get myself to want to go do it.

It is hard. I love them in a lot of ways, but we're also recording... We're on the spree of recording a bunch of them and it can be hard to do. Yeah. We're trying to stock up. We're trying to make sure we have enough of a catalog. And then you are also an opinionated guy. So if you have an idea for the show, I don't like to fight against it so much.

So then it turns into like from like me, like it will be like, are you going to book anything? But then like I feel like if I even say anything, it will be too much. So I try to back off. Do you really feel like that? You don't feel like you can contribute? I feel like I try to back off. This is the truth.

I swear to God. I think you should be... I think you should have... Because I try to make sure you have as much of a voice in this as I do. I've always thought of this as a partnership, even though I'm like, I'm fine doing like the leg work. Like, I'm fine doing the busy work of keeping things going, but I've always thought that like creatively, this should be like a 50-50 proposition, maybe like a 45-45-10 with Susser.

Yes. Oh no, 100%. Yeah. I would say like 25 me, 55 you, and whatever else Susser feels like. And then Dustin, 100% and Ferrell, I don't know. We have to break down every year. There's a lot of people involved in this. Yeah.

No, because I think you are so on top of it that I am of the mind of like, oh, I'll figure it out and I'll get a guest. And I would. But then I also feel like maybe that won't like, you have certain criteria, not that it's a bad thing. Yeah. I'm saying that like for the restaurant we're going to, if it's the right person for the restaurant or the, you know, like that sort of thing.

Well, not like I have a spreadsheet trying to match it everything up, but like basically... But you do have a spreadsheet that you've shared with me and Mitch with potential guests. That YouSong maintains. Yeah. Thanks YouSong. Yeah, but I mean like that's, yes, I do have a spreadsheet, but it's not like in terms of like, oh, I'm looking at a bar graph trying to figure out, I'm not looking at a Y and an X axis trying to figure out, well, how do we match up guests with restaurant?

It's a matter of like, we just want to make sure that we're not only having guests from our circle of friends. Oh, no. I know. I agree with that too. I don't think it's bad. And I think, I think, I think I've seen you because sometimes I'm lost for words. I do look for you to for help sometimes.

And I feel like sometimes I think my annoyances have now have now rubbed off on you or if I'm doing something crazy, you look at me like, what the fuck is he doing? And sometimes I just want you to jump in with me and experience that craziness. Well, you know what? Honestly, I don't know. I maybe I could have helped you out with the Dave Matthews song. I didn't know what song you were singing. I don't know the tune of that.

I wouldn't even know how to craft it. You know, it's your fault that that joke was terrible, that that was a terrible segment of the show. I'm kidding. It wasn't your fault. I'll try to help. I'll try to help you in the more in the future. I think this is great.

I think that you guys are, you know, having some honest conversation. I think that, you know, 2016, it's been a tumultuous year for the world and for the Doughboys. I think that this has been a healing episode so far. I mean, here's the thing is, like, we always make fun of each other. Yeah, I know. That's part of the dynamic. Yeah.

I call you a robot dead. I'm going to call you a robot deadweight, a pedophile, autistic guy. Now, Mitch, one thing that you used to call Nick, but you don't anymore. Yes. Is cuck. Yes. Right. Now, can we talk about that?

By the way, this episode will never be released, but I mean, I think it's cathartic for us. Right. Well, we don't have to put it out, but we'll just say, we'll say we recorded a final episode that'll never see the light of day and that we recorded a final episode with Susser and then we can just announce it on social media and then never continue the podcast. I think that we can, I think that when I die within the next few years, you can release this episode. Okay.

After you're, like, while the body is still cooling or ... Yeah, whenever you want. Okay. Two and a half years. Honestly, whenever you feel like you want to get the most promotion, like whenever you want a nice little kick, release this episode, baby, and people will be like, this is a hard episode to release, but this is my last one with Mitch. Right.

You'll get a lot of ... You'll get some article written up about you, it'll be great. Yeah. Get some Facebook shares. You'll get some Facebook shares. People will love you. You're not going to believe this. The most moving podcast you'll ever listen to is about chain restaurants, except I think it's kind of just been angry this entire time.

Yeah. Also, too, I think we're undermining the value of it as an artifact by alluding to its value as an artifact. We're not saying, like, oh, this is going to be so momentous when you release it, because we've already commented on that. All right, we'll edit this part out. We've got to edit this part out. All right, so, but here's what I'm saying.

If you don't feel like you're having enough input creatively, and we're trying to cuck thing in one second because it's a fair thing to bring up, but if you don't think you're having enough input creatively, let me know what you want to do, because I've always felt like ... I feel like more than half of the ... At least half of the guests, more than half of the guests, are people you know, people you want to have on the show, people you're like, oh, we should get this ... Oh, for sure. I have a lot of input on that, and as far as the restaurant is, the guest usually chooses

the restaurant. Nine times out of 10. I'm not saying that I have issues with the guests. I'm just saying that specifically, I feel like you're more on top of it, so I'm not going to be like ... You know what I mean? You're on top of it very quickly, and you want to get it figured out right away. And I don't want to mess up with that, but I'm also ... I'm not going to be in that mode ever.

I feel bad about it, but it's just not what I'm going to ... You know what I mean? I'm not going to be like, all right, we just finished recording. Who's our guest for this next week? I feel like I've handled the guests before, and it's been fine. You know what I mean? I've done it my way, and it's fine, but my way is not your way. Well, we just have to be conscious of the fact that it's every week. And again, this is not an issue anymore, because this is the last episode.

But just thinking back on the way we did the podcast, part of the reason I've been so on top of things is because it's like we have to be on top of it, because it just happens every week. And sometimes we're recording more than one a week just to fit our schedule. So you record it on Thursday, we're recording another one on Thursday. It's not like you can take a day or two, but once it becomes the weekend, it becomes hard to nail someone down, because people's schedules are shifting so much. That's true.

I get it. And I am more likely to ask someone that we know within our circle for sure. But I also, usually I feel like the attitude of we'll get somebody, you know what I mean? But anyways, yeah, I don't know about Korea. I feel like, yes, I feel like a thing in my life, I am late to things, and I feel bad about that. And I've always been that way, and I've tried to work on it, and I'm trying to better myself this year.

I've tried to better myself in a lot of ways, and the thing where the birthday boys and stuff, I annoy them, but I never go out of my way and publicly say that my issue is working with other people. Right. You know what I mean? It's not like I'm the villainous man all the time. People love you. You're not a villain.

I know, but then you paint me like this guy who's a real asshole. I didn't say you were a real asshole. I say you're difficult to work with for a number of reasons, but it's worth it. Okay. I think that. That's the consensus on Mitch. Jack Allison said that exact same thing, and you read it as a compliment at the top of the show when you were doing Toast Spoon Man.

Do you know who else is difficult to work with? Who? Han Solo. Good point. Very good point, Susser. But we should talk about this real quick, because when you brought up Cuck, and I think that when you originally brought it up, and when you originally started doing it, it was a thing I was fine with, but it was before, kind of around before it got appropriated

or ... I started calling you because you even were using the word quite a bit. Yeah. What we were talking about, I think cuckolding and a cuckold fetish is funny in and of itself. Yeah, it's very funny. It's very funny, but cuck, the slang term, became something that's been appropriated by the alt-right neo-Nazis, white supremacists, white nationalists, whatever you want to call them.

It's become a thing that we're less comfortable, I feel like, joking around with, and it's even though people will still call me like Cuck Weiger online, it's a thing that you ... Normalized. Yeah, it's a thing you've normalized, but it's a thing you invoke less personally on the podcast. You've kind of faded away from using it all together. I have.

Yeah, so me and Susser had a big long conversation about it. Someone sent me a message on Twitter about how they thought it was offensive. I also just thought it was ... I didn't want to be hacky with it. I didn't want to use the same thing over and over again. That was an issue. Once it becomes so mainstream and once Vox is writing articles explaining what Cuck means, it starts to be a thing where it's just kind of like, okay, well, this is so in the zeitgeist that, yeah, for you to use it, it does kind of seem like hackery, so

I do get that. Yes. Yeah. I mean, aren't we a crazy ... Isn't the world crazy this year? I mean, Cuck did exist before all of this shit. Right, yeah. And I get when it's appropriated. It's a porn subculture.

Yeah. And it is funny. It is a funny thing. It's like Shakespeare. Right. Yeah. Cuckolding, yeah. But the term Cuck, the shorthand Cuck is, I think, more modern.

But it predated everything. Yeah. It did predate that. Yeah. I think it was via porn and then it got appropriated by porn. When we were having these discussions, Mitch would often yell at us, I've been calling people Cucks for years. Right.

That's true. It's the truth. I have been calling people Cucks for years. Yeah. But also, too. You know, I feel like I've referenced less because I used to make fun of you. I talked about how Boston has some racist past and is specifically related to... You call me adult daily.

I've called you adult. I still call you a dumb man. That's not fair. But I've gotten away from criticizing you as saying I don't as much talk about how tie you to Boston's tortured history with integration. My Boston friends, when I was back in Quincy, all talking about how they didn't like Donald Trump and they all voted blue and how very progressive people by the way. You are, like I think, even the working man in New England, specifically in Massachusetts,

which is a deep blue state, is a very progressive person. So I acknowledge your leftist tendencies. I know you're someone who supported Bernie Sanders in the primary. I know you're someone who's very... Whose politics are on the left side of liberal. That's not a thing I'm going to, again, if the podcast were to continue, that would be a thing about you that I wouldn't make fun of as much. I wouldn't try to poke you in that.

It's okay. I'm not literally racist. I know. But I'm just saying that's a thing I've been doing less and I've been less comfortable with because of the political climate. And I've been like, I don't know if I want to associate Mitch with this anymore in the way because now it's a real thing and is it okay for me to trivialize it? Just like the cuckling.

Just like the cuckling. I'm just saying I'm paralleling what you're talking about. That's fair. I've changed this year and so do Doe Boys. Right. Yeah. I did. We'll find new ways to make fun of each other.

When you were looking at your folder and I said I'm not a racist man, I was like, did you bring arguments? Also, I'm not an adult, fuck you, you cuck. Listen, it's a frustrating podcast. Yeah. Has it gone? Is it completely awash? No.

No. What do you mean? It's not. I'm saying is it worth, should we give up on it? No. Should things maybe change? Maybe. Yeah.

We can discuss. Maybe we should have. Maybe we should have. I don't think, I think we have to commit to weekly because I think if we go to bi-weekly, it's going to be, people would be so upset. I told you, it's a pain in the ass. No, I'm being honest. We could go to bi-weekly but I'm saying that there's, I feel like that leads to a, that

will lead to a disc and I'd like to hear you weigh in on this, but I think in our discussions with Dustin and with Ferrell Audio and with other podcasters, it feels like once you go to bi-weekly, you fall down in terms of relevance and you fall down in terms of awareness in the public eye. It's true. And I think our fans would also, people who like this podcast and maybe they're listening into it on their Thursday morning commute or more often Thursday evening drive home and Friday morning commute.

Saturday morning commute, Saturday workout. Whenever the podcast releases, there, people are, come to rely on it as part of their routine and so like if that suddenly becomes a bi-weekly thing, it just becomes less a part of their awareness. That's fair. You know what I mean? I think that, yeah, I think that 2016 has been a rough year and if it's any indication of how things are going in 2017, ain't going to be any less rough.

And I think that, yeah, I think what Nick is saying is right. That people, this podcast means more to people than you probably realize or it probably should. Oh, that's very nice, Cesar. So I think that, I think it'll be a real shame for the podcast and or even to have less episodes. I think that you guys are doing maybe the most noble of work. Okay, calm down. Oh, boy. We'll take a quick break or we'll be right back with more Doughboys.

Welcome back to Doughboys. We're sitting with Evan Cesar. So, steak and shake. We went yesterday and yesterday was a Sunday. We're recording this on a Monday. Can we start the podcast here? I think that people are going to like this new format. It's very like WTF.

People like that kind of thing on a podcast. The Doughboys got real. We get one totally self-indulgent episode. I feel like we earned that once a year. And we've done five. We've done five. We've done five. Everyone that I've been on.

They're mostly self-indulgent episodes. Would you say after Dough with Joe was not the self-indulgent episode? Okay, right, right. That was bonus content. They've seen the inner working. This is like the marrow. This is like the gunk. We're like inside the deepest recesses of the human body right now.

We're just like, you've seen too much of this. It's too much. It's like the future surgery that will be used to carve arteries in your heart to get all the cholesterol out of there. Yeah, to both of us. Stents. They're called stents and my dad had one. Go on.

Just one hour in. Should we talk about the food? We absolutely should. But no, I think this is fine. Like we also need time to talk about what's going on in the podcast. So this is fine. It might as well be the time when we're together recording this. I think that's whatever.

It doesn't matter. You're too angry today. I'm not angry. I'm just saying. I'm a little angry. But I'm just... But it's fine. It's okay to be angry.

I agree with that. I agree with that too, but not at me. So we went to the steak and shake in Burbank, California. Mitch, this is the one we'd been to for the Tournament of Champions. We went with our buddy Michael Cassidy, who did the Doughboyz theme song, which we love. And during that visit, it was a little different. It was a lot like the Victorville one, which is we went to last Christmas. Should we maybe get people up to speed, yeah, on all the different steak and shakes?

Right. Yeah, I was going to touch on that. But yeah, if you have a... Yeah, so this... Go work. I've been on the podcast for full episodes. This is my third time. And each time we've gone to steak and shake, why not?

The first one we went to, and we were appalled, or I was appalled, to realize it was actually a steak and shake by Big Lari, which was a very limited menu. It was in Santa Monica. Sardar Big Lari is the guy who acquired the steak and shake corporation, a hostile takeover, and has put his name onto the branding of the new outlets. Yes. Then we found out that there was a real steak and shake in Victorville, where we drove two hours to, and that was a full menu steak and shake, like the ones that I had remembered.

Yeah. We went to last Christmas. Table service. Table service. And a full-out menu. You said they bring you stuff with silverware and real dishes. As soon as... And if I remember correctly, the weather that day was a lot like right on that movie Twister.

That's correct. Then, as soon as that episode was released, after we drove two hours to Victorville... And you lost your sunglasses. I lost my sunglasses. And people actually went and stopped in... Multiple people went and stopped in. It was announced that a full steak and shake was going to be opening in Burbank, basically five minutes from this very studio.

That's right. So now, yeah, take it away. You went... And then we went there with Michael Cassidy for the Tournament of Champiens, and we evaluated steak and shake from a hamburger perspective. And yeah, it was very much like the Victorville location. The interior was very akin to the Victorville location, though not though... Very sterile.

Very sterile. Like, yeah, it's more of a storefront because it's in the sort of open-air mall concept. But it's... They had table service. They had full menus. And now, as of December, that was March of this year, as of December, that's all gone. It's back to being a limited menu, which is what you have in the Santa Monica location, but it's got a larger limited menu than the Santa Monica one does.

It's completely baffling. It's very confusing. Now, it's a steak and shake. It also says by big lorry. Right. But it's a bigger menu than the other steak and shake by big lorry, but not the full menu. Yeah.

I tried to divine it by looking at the website. And there's... So there's the... I think it's the standard menu. And then there's also the... Oh, the classic menu is what they call it. So the classic menu is the steak and shake that you know and love from your personal history, Susser.

And the limited menu is the one that we had at the... Our previous visit, our one we just had in Burbank and in Santa Monica. But if you click on their limited menu, every location has its own limited menu. So I think they are making a case-by-case basis. They are deciding what menu items are going to be included. And they look at something like the Burbank one, they say like, okay, we'll have chili five-way there, but we'll have all the chili spaghetti options there, but we're not going to have it at Santa Monica.

Santa Monica one's just going to have burgers and hot dogs. It's very strange. It's very disorienting for the consumer. It sums up 2016. Right. It's just, it was hopeful. You know, it started off hopeful on March. Right.

We're feeling good. We went to the real steak and shake up in Burbank. Then it... Something happened. Something changed. Things changed. Times became different. It became harder.

Became a big lorry. Big lorry. Bought it out or whatever he did. He'd bet he'd own it previously, but yeah. All right. Well, it's... But he converted it. He converted to a big lorry and it's not as good.

It's sad. Yeah. It's a sad thing, but you know what? We're here to discuss it. You know what? And I've said this before, a thing in this country where people need to talk to each other. Nick, you and I talked to each other today and because of that, I dislike you more.

But at least we talked openly and we talked about it and guess what, big lorry, you did a bad job. Yeah. It's a shame. You had a little gem up on the hill there and you fucking blew it. If I'm up there, where am I going to go? I'm going to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. It's right there.

It's right across the wild. They got a lot of chain competition in that little complex in Burbank. And it was empty there. Some of it is baffling too. They give you so much styrofoam even if you're eating in. There are no plates. Right. It's all styrofoam, which is a mess.

We actually had, you know, we were at a table that was kind of a little small and with a party of four. It was a three of us plus my wife Natalie. We did not, though, people might think we ordered excessively. We didn't really order that excessively. No. But the styrofoam, you know, they kept on bumping into each other and hitting each other. It was too crowded on that table.

Right. They gave us a tray and then on top of the tray was a styrofoam container. And I was just like ordering at the counter is one thing. But the indignity of having like a to-go styrofoam container that I was eating in the restaurant, like they didn't even have like a different kind of plating for, oh, you're having it to stay versus you're having it to go. It was all in the to-go container. It's all like hospital food.

It really did. I was really, really bummed out by it. And man, I really missed having that. It was just so nice in that kind of diner atmosphere because it kind of feels like a throwback 50s diner because it is. It's the original throwback. It's the original 50s diner. And it has that feel to it.

And then to not be sitting down and have a waiter come over to you and take your order and bring you food on hot food on plates, but instead be ordering it at a cash register and then having it be brought out to you and to-go containers, it's just such a bummer. You made the lady who took our order. You made her put on roller skates. Well, that was the other thing too. There's no one at this restaurant. No one, yeah.

There's so many people behind the counter. And then like the food becomes ready and they're like, okay, like 41. And we're like, I mean, maybe this is obnoxious, but like you could just bring it over. They didn't even do that. You know, it just was not a very welcome experience. It sucked. Let's be honest. It sucked.

It was bad. It was a huge bummer. I mean, like they gave us a, so they had the buzzer, the pager, what do they call that thing? It's like what you get when you're waiting at the Cheesecake Factory and they give you the little buzzer. A vibrator? Yeah, that little vibrator, whatever you call that little disc-shaped thing.

Tick-shaped? The disc-shaped, the Jeff Dutton's dick-shaped vibrator they give you. We set it on our table and I was expecting them to bring it out to us, but it starts vibrating. You got to walk up to the counter and get it. And it was just a cumbersome, it's cumbersome to carry all that. I don't know. Let's talk about the food a little bit.

Also, I saw the fight between you and that you didn't want to give the vibrator back. So we got the, I got the chili five-way. This was your go-to if I remember right, Susser. This is spaghetti loaded up with chili, chili beef, chili sauce, diced onions and shredded cheddar and jack cheese. It also came with some parmesan on the side. It was such a modest amount of food. It was just, it was like a tiny amount of food.

That was really small. I saw that. That was crazy. I was like, it felt like, you know, I kind of got through it. I feel like I got through it in fewer than 10 bites. It was just like, it was such a small amount and I expected it to be, I mean, for lack of a better term, to quote our friend, Unkar Plutt, it was basically one quarter portion. And I, like, I expect more than one quarter portion of food.

But I expect a full portion of food for an adult man. It felt like I got in the child's size. It was tasty. It was fine. Like the chili was good. I think the parmesan that you throw, throwing the parmesan onto it, I feel like you might not need to do that. I feel like there's more than enough dairy that you're getting with that cheddar and

jack cheese. But I don't know. I mean, like, it was just such a modest amount of food and it wasn't particularly notable. I just felt like I was barely getting my money's worth. Nellie and I also split a Butterfinger Shake. I thought the Butterfinger Shake was pretty great. Let me just say this. For all the deficiencies of Steak and Shake and the Limited Menu, they still do those

shakes all right. And that was a really good shake. I wish it was like the Victorville where you had the 50-50 shakes where you could split them down the middle. I wish it had that full shake menu that it used to. But still, with the limited options that they had, that Butterfinger Shake was really, really good. It was better than a Blizzard.

It was just very, very good amounts of Butterfinger Chunks, very easy to eat with that straw and spoon combo. Yeah, very flavorful. Nellie got the cheddar cheesy burger, which had just a shitload of cheese on it. The gimmick there is they just have this huge mound of cheddar cheese just melted over the sides of it. And she liked that quite a bit. And she also got it with cheese fries, went a little cheese crazy.

And I thought those were, I don't know, not great. I mean, I'm not sure. I don't remember asking. I don't remember what her pet take on the cheese fries was. But my bites of the cheese fries, I was like, this is just kind of gooey and gummy and not particularly notable. The fries themselves felt like they were old. I don't know.

I was kind of disappointed. I also got an unsweetened iced tea to drink, which was unsweetened iced tea. I mean, there was nothing, there was no difference between that and the pure leaf tea I was drinking when we were recording the first episode. How about you guys in terms of food? I did the, I think it's called the classic double. It's two of the thinner patties with like lettuce, tomato, onion and mustard and mayo. I just got everything on it, which I don't, I wish I had, but it was, I was just so disappointed.

Also, I just looked up online, there's a photo of Big Laurie and he says, meet the 34-year-old woman's steak and shake. I didn't realize he was that young. This is from 2012. So he's 38 now, I would guess. But he looks, look at how old he looks. He's 34 in that picture. Yeah, that's a rough 34.

That is a very, that's a rough 34. Well, you know, he's... And I'm a rough 34. It could be like a, you know, like a, when a Latin American baseball player declares for the draft, the MOB draft, and then they like, they say they're 18 and it turns out they're actually like 24. It could be that sort of thing. So if he looks 50.

He looks older. Yeah. He could be lying about the same. I mean, does that matter in business? Well, whatever. I don't know. I mean, I think it could. I think if you're trying to drive the narrative that I'm a Wunderkind, that I'm a young, like

I'm this young lion, that making you're saying you're 34 might, you know, make you look more esteemed than saying you're 50. That's fair. I got the burger, I got the double and the double cheese and it came with fries and I got a Snickers shake, which Susser also got. We might as well say that I think some of those grumpiness comes from, this was all, this was yesterday. Yeah.

This is all rolled into. We went up to Big Larry and we went up to the Big Larry steak and shake and then this morning we woke up for Hooters. Right. Also, I mean, I would be remiss in saying, you said, oh, the reason you're so mad is that I was 15 minutes late to Hooters. You were half an hour late to Hooters. That's true.

I was half a noon. And also two. I love that you pointed out the one today. Right. You pointed out the time you were less late. My excuse for Sunday is actually was real and scary. There's one, okay, you know what, I wasn't going to get into it, but it was BS. There was real?

There was, maybe, yes, there was one weird thing that happened. No, it still only took about 12 minutes at a time. Exactly. But yeah, you did, I mean, this is another thing. I talked about this a little bit with Susser while we were waiting for you. You guys talked behind my back? We didn't talk behind your back. We talked about...

We talked about where you would be right in front of you if you were there on time. Where you would be. But I mean, like, one of the things we talked about is, and this, I think this is just a thing while we're airing things out, I think if you're going to say you're 10 out, like, you texted us that you were 10 away at 11.38 and then you showed up at basically at noon. So like, just, I think just like... Let's go through the... I mean, I don't mean to re-litigate this.

No, let's not go through these texts. Fuck you guys. But I mean, part of being late is, it's fine. Like, we're all late. People are late all the time. I think it just like you can, maybe a thing to work on, maybe a New Year's resolution to have is like, okay, I'm still going to be late, but I'm going to be honestly, I'm going to honestly assess how late I'm going to be so people can plan for that.

I got thrown off from what I thought was a potential robber. What was the story? Because I didn't hear this. You told this to Susser. I drove up my street. There was a man walking out in front of my house. I drove up the street. There was a moving truck.

The moving truck was blocking the entire street. Right. That's a couple of minutes right there. I turned around. I came back down and the man who was walking in front of my house was now up on my stoop by my door. My door leads into my house. Yeah, you've got it just like right on the sidewalk.

You just walk right into your apartment. You don't have a gated entrance or anything. I got two kittens in there. So I drove around the corner and I was like, ugh, that was fucking weird. And I was late, so I was like, I should just leave. And then I was like, no, I got to go back. So I went back and he was still there. I got in my car and I went in the house and he walked away as I was walking over.

And I never saw him again, but it took up time, but it wasn't the reason why I was late. I was half an hour late. Let's look at these texts and just break it down. I text at 1020, okay, still good for 1130. Weigar writes back three minutes later, yep. Then he writes again at 1050, heading there now. And he's kind of far from Burbank, so the right amount of time to be there on time.

Then 1111, Mitch, you write, I'm heading up in just a minute. Now, me and Weigar talked about this. Our prediction was you just woke up and sent that text to that moment. Is that accurate? I think I was up before 1111. I can check my alarms. Okay. Hold on a second.

What the fuck is this? Then nothing until 1138 and then you say, I'm still 10 out. You can just start eating. Now, my prediction is you had not left your apartment yet. No, I would say that at that point is when I was dealing with that. Okay. Okay. Well, then that's fair.

Yeah. But you're still in your neighborhood. Yeah. Okay. But it doesn't, even like if you were on a straight shot, it takes more than 10 minutes. On Sunday morning, I thought that I would be there quick. But it's still not 10 minutes to get from your neighborhood. You know, something that my wife, Ann Park, tells me who is sometimes late.

She'll probably be mad if I say that. She says that people who are later just optimists, they believe that things will, you know, they're the best possible scenario will happen, but they won't get into traffic, so Mitch, I think you're just an optimist. Hmm. I think I'm just lazy as fuck. Anyways. Back to the food.

Back to the food. The food was bad. Yeah. The food is, I didn't want to go up there. I didn't want to go at 11.30 on a Sunday. It's a weird time to eat. It's a weird time to eat. There was a Patriots game on and you guys were doing me a favor, probably, was why we

ate there so early. Yeah. But we could have eaten there at 12.30 and still been fine, I feel like, if we wanted to. Well, that's basically what ended up happening. Oh my God, fuck this podcast. Here's the thing about your burgers that I found weird and incongruous. Your burger came wrapped in paper, Natalie's burger and Susser's burgers came in Styrofoam.

Why is that even inconsistent? Like I know they're different kinds of burgers, but why not just have all the burgers served the same way? It was very disorienting. Yeah, it was bad. I mean, it was all around bad. The fries didn't seem that different, which was fine, but they weren't great. They're not great.

They're not great. And then the burger, the burger, I mean, this is going to, I feel like it's going to lower my steak and shakes score again, which will get Susser upset. You know what, I've done a lot for this restaurant and I feel like I was burned once in Santa Monica. Are you crying? I hate it. It's like the most emotional I've ever seen.

I was redeemed in Victorville, but I just, you know, I feel betrayed again. Right. I thought the fries were bad. I also got the cheddar, cheesy burger. Yeah, I'm just going to say they're going to remember this as the Burbank betrayal. Yeah. That's what they're calling it already. Right.

I got the same burger that Natalie got, the cheddar, cheesy burger, and, you know, the picture was great. It looked really good in the picture. It tasted fine, but I was like, while I was eating that and having the Snickers milk, which I agree, the Snickers shake was good. The Snickers shake was good, but then also wasn't it like too like, oh, like when you blend up the Snickers, it gets like very like, like the new gig gets like, it's a weird shake to have.

And I just thought, I'm like, I was just eating it all mean, like this is so bad for me. Yeah. It's not like the styrofoam. It doesn't feel like a fun experience. And this is dope, boys. This is what happens so often. It's so bad for you as you're eating these things. Yeah.

Right. Because you want that indulgent meal to be fun. And when it's not, it's like a double kick in the groin. It's just like it's such a, it's so, it sucks to be punishing your body and then also not to be even like extracting the raw pleasure of like, oh, I'm eating this terrible food. I'm going to a trainer and I'm on Weight Watchers now. And I have to do this goddamn fucking food podcast and I need to find a goddamn wife for crying out loud.

Yeah. Wait, what is, where does finding a wife factor into this? I should know. No one wants a big, a man who eats a big tubbo, who eats fast food every... Gotcha. So you're saying the Weight Watchers is a means to an end to find a wife, not that you need to find a wife to help you with Weight Watchers. I don't want a wife.

I like that. I really think that we, and I don't know if it'll be possible now, but I really do think we need to talk to someone from Steak and Shake and see what's happening. I actually, I did try reaching out to them, to their corporate office. I left a message. We could try calling now, or we can just maybe put a pin in it for a future. Who the hell cares? Call them now.

All right. Yeah. Let's see if we can get them on the line. Let's see if we can get them on the line. Okay. Why the hell? I don't think we're going to have any success. I don't think so either.

We're going to have to do about five minutes. I can't. I'm trying to remember what I got. Oh, you know what I got in... Thank you for calling Steak and Shake Corporate. Let this one out. If you know your party's extension, you may dial in at any time. If you are a guest calling about a recent experience, please press one.

If you are a guest calling with questions, please press two. Yeah. If you are an associate calling with a human resources issue... I think one. Yeah, that's probably the one we can lie. Yeah. A lot of times the zero will jump straight to customer service. We'll see.

Yeah. I had the Wisconsin Buttery Steakburger on our visit to Victorville, and that was really, really good. Your call will be recorded for quality assurance purpose. Okay. This is promising. Hey, yes. We're yours.

I keep a call with Steak and Shake Services. My name is Carol. May I have your name, please? Hi. This is Evan Susser from the Doughboys podcast. We're calling to speak to... What's your name, sir? Evan Susser from the Doughboys podcast, and you're being recorded for the podcast

at the moment. We're hoping to speak to someone in maybe media relations or from customer service that can talk to us on the podcast. No, sir. This is against response center. Okay. Can you direct us to someone from media relations? Actually, sir, what we do here is document your comments and concerns, and then they

are forced to be recorded. Our concern is that the Steak and Shake by Big Laurie's are very confusing. They have different menu items than the regular Steak and Shake's. Hold on one moment, sir. Okay. Hold on one moment. You seem scared. I'm terrified.

I put it on mute. I think invoking Big Laurie, like, caused her to tense up. She's like, oh, man. Is she going to get... Are we going to talk to Big Laurie? We should ask. I'm not sure what I'd say if I got a direct line to Big Laurie. He's been built up to this mythical figure in my mind.

I think of him like Voldemort. What do you think they're doing now? What is this weird... I don't know. I mean, you were right to say that we're being recorded because... Yeah, I mean, it's against a lot. Yeah, that's a legal thing. So, you were right to say that.

That may have put her... That didn't seem to register, though. It didn't seem to register, no. No. We'll take it as legal. I think she did. I think she did. I mean, I said it many times.

Why is there like a heart monitor sound? I don't know. I don't know what that beeping is. Yeah. I think maybe the strategy is to just never pick up again. Right. So, continue talking. That's not a bad idea.

While we're waiting on the hold, let's get to our fork ratings. And we know how this works. We'll sort of give our closing argument and end with our evaluation on order of one to five forks. I think this will be our adjustment for our canonical Stake and Shake score. Stake and Shake was previously in the Platinum Plate Club. We went to Victorville. That was the last time we did a full evaluation of the restaurant.

We gave it five forks all around. What is this music? Now we're officially on hold music. Okay. All right. So, let's get to our ratings. Hold on. I have a number for our corporate vocation.

You would need to call 317... Hold on. 317. Okay. Hold on. 317. 317. Are you getting it?

Yeah. Hold on. One second. 317. Mm-hmm. 633-4100. Can we talk to Big Laurie? Okay.

4100. Is it possible to transfer us directly to Big Laurie? No. I don't have our transfer capabilities. This is a call center. Okay. Have you ever met Big Laurie? Sir.

No. You'll need to call... Okay. All right. I'm sorry. I just accidentally deleted the number. This guy is really... Okay.

The number was... We hear it one more time. 317. 633. 4100. What was it? 310-317-6? 4100.

4100? Okay. Correct. 333-4100. Thank you. Thank you, ma'am. You're welcome, sir. Thank you for calling and taking shake-in services.

Have a good night. Thank you. Bye. Wait. It was 317... I don't know what that is, Nick. Come on. 317.

It was confusing. 317. Okay. I mean, it's a recorded multiple time. Someone will know it. 317. 633. 4100.

I think we'll... I mean, I don't know. We'll figure out what to do with that number, exactly. But we've got to get to the bottom of this. You know what? I'm not going to quit the podcast. Well, this is something to look forward to. We've got to crack this case.

Now, in my mind, the best way for this podcast to end is big lorry shooting or strangling us to death. I would love to get big lorry on this podcast. I think we should, because I think I'm just, like, I'm so curious about who the man is, what his motives are, and what his direction is for steak and shake, because what he's doing now isn't working. Right. Like, what he's doing now is so disorienting and confusing for the consumer.

And I'm going to go straight into my fork rating with this rant. I think that the goal of a chain, and I mentioned this on the... I mentioned a version of this on the first steak and shake, I believe. If I'm not, this isn't a false memory. The goal of a chain should be consistency throughout locations. And if it's going to be inconsistent, it needs to be conveyed to the customer that this is some sort of deviation from the norm. And you see that in the Chili's restaurant execution at airports where they call it

Chili's 2. It's like, okay, I get this isn't a proper Chili's. This is a Chili's 2. It's going to have a little bit of a different concept. It's going to have a little bit of a limited menu. It's not going to get what I would normally get at a Chili's. And you see the same sort of thing when places have, like, a Taco Bell Express. You just sort of get like, okay, this is a streamlined version that is an approximation

of what I know, but it's not what I actually know. It's not what I'm actually craving, but it's going to get me, you know, 50 to 80% there. They should do that on the By Big Glory. The By Big Glory is meaningless. If you don't know the backstory, it's just a nonsense word. You're like, By Big Glory, what the fuck does that mean? You have to Google what Big Glory is for some context, and then you can kind of infer that he's affixed his name to these locations.

But it still doesn't make a lot of sense in terms of what the chain is actually doing. Are you going to cry now? I'm just saying, they could call these a steak and shake limited, or they could call it like a steak and shake express, or they could call it a steak and shake two. Something to convey that it's not an actual steak and shake, because as it is, you think you're getting a steak and shake, and it's not a steak and shake, it's a bait and switch. And as far as I'm concerned, that means they have to be punished in fork terms. Those five forks, those are going away.

What they're getting instead is two forks. Wow. Two forks for steak and shake. Your phone is lighting up your face. You were fucking scary. Go ahead, Susser. You know, like I said, I've been the staunch defender of steak and shake, and that ends now.

More so honestly than Nick brings up the very relevant and very appropriate complaint that you don't know what big lorry means. But even so, even if you're going to do that, at least have agreement within the company about what big lorry means. The fact that you can go to Santa Monica and buy big lorry means one thing. The fact that you go to Burbank, it means something else. We're in crazy town now. And I think when you guys went in March, it was also called Buy Big Lorry,

but was a full menu. Right. It might have been. Yeah. Who even knows what's going on anymore? It's chaos. And I think that there's an easy way to redeem that, and that's for big lorry himself to come on Doe Boys, or a representative, but much preferably big lorry.

It's got to be big lorry. I'll also come back for that episode. And we can get to the bottom of that. But I join Nick until that point and say two forks. Go ahead, Spoon Man. I'm going to be an optimist. I'm going to go a little bit higher than you guys. But listen, Nick, I love you.

As mad as you got at me this episode, I do care about you. I love you too, Mitch. I want you to be happy with me. I will try not to be as late as I am. It's hard. The podcast is hard to do. It is. It's more of a commitment than even a normal podcast because we got to eat food every week.

And for a man who's trying to better his health, it's our assessor. I love you too, but we weren't really in a fight. Congrats on the news of Wedding Crashers 2 coming out today. Oh, thank you. Is that out there now? Yeah, it's out there. Oh, Wedding Crashers. I've known about this.

I've heard about this, but it's officially been announced. Van, you and your writing partner, Van Robachow, we mentioned previously, writing Wedding Crashers 2. Return of Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. I got a question for you. Yeah. Is Dr. Robotnik the main villain of Wedding Crashers 2? You know, unfortunately, I'm not at liberty this time. Oh, God.

Can you confirm that the wedding they are crashing is between Sonic and Amy? You know what? You know, we had that idea already. Wait a minute. Let me see that. He wrote down a dinner order. Anyway, as hard of a year as it's been, I do think things will get better. And big lorry, now the spotlight's on you, baby.

Let's see if you can make this better because right now, it's not looking so good. I have high hopes for this next year and it won't be easy, but I think that we'll have some exciting stuff happening with the show and maybe we'll have, who knows, maybe we'll even have some news or something in the next couple of weeks, like us ending the show. We've already said that a couple of times. We'll have a big official announcement of ending it. But I'm just going to say, it's not cutting it right now. It's an insult to us, these weird men who have decided to come and review your restaurant,

to change your product to be lesser than what it was. It's not fair. So, I'm going a little bit higher. Two and a half, not forks, shit mounds. Wow. You get two and a half shit mounds, big lorry. And you know what? Maybe we'll watch that shit off and there'll be forks underneath, but you got some work

to do. And I'm optimistic that it will happen. Are you washing off the shit? We'll just get forks. Wait, you're talking like shit covered utensils that you're hosing down and then using to eat, right? I sounded like... It's pretty disgusting.

We'll just bleach them too. But how are you even shitting on forks? Just get different forks. Fine. We'll wash away the shit and we'll put... You're still insisting on washing them. No, I'm saying we'll wash the shit away and we'll bring in forks and we'll put them right in the spot where the shit mounds hurt.

Maybe a slightly different threat. Fine. An adjacent spot to where the shit was. Maybe right where we washed the shit too. What's the situation with the cats shitting in your apartment? They don't shit. They're in the litter boxes. Oh, good for them.

Yeah. Is that tough to train or they just get right to it? They're actually pretty good with it. Okay. There were a couple accidents but the other thing is, man, taking care of litter boxes does suck. Yeah. And if you get behind for a couple days, it sucks for the cats and you feel bad and

then it also just sucks for you because there's so much cat shit. And now that I'm saying this, I realize that I have to go home and fucking clean out that goddamn litter box because there's two of them. So there's double the shit. But what do you do? Do you just scoop it out into a trash can or how do you get rid of that? I think he uses forks to pick it out. Then you hose them down and you eat a meal.

I scoop it into, there's this little contraption and I'm not going to remember the name of it but it's used to put cat poop in it and it has a little bag. Right. What is it? I don't forget what it's called but it's a little like a cat trap or I don't know what the fuck it is. Okay. You dump into that and then like every three weeks to a month you have to do a full litter

change which is you throw the litter into a bag and then you wash out the litter box and then you put in new litter. So I do that. Me, Mike Mitchell, I do that. Yeah, you're a conscientious cat owner. I love the cats. Right. Take care of little Wally and Irma.

They're great cats and they're a good thing that's happened this year. Yeah. But Rogue One is going to be good. Hey, speaking of Rogue One, this episode is releasing the day before Rogue One, a Star Wars story is in theaters and so Mitch, this was our mutual idea that we discussed. It's time for the return of our regular segment, dinner and a movie. The balcony is open. Both of these guys are dead now.

Both of them passed away. Do you mean Siskel and Iber? Do you mean me and you? Oh, no. Siskel and Iber. Yeah. I guess Roper's still alive. Roper's still alive.

But yeah, Siskel and Iber both died very young and pretty horribly. Yeah. Rest in peace. Oh, shit. This one we're getting out of the muck. Yeah. All right. Rogue One, a Star Wars story is our mashup of cuisine and cinema for today.

So what is the perfect dinner to have if you're going to see this flick this weekend? If you're going to see Rogue One, what are you getting, guys? And you know what? I'm going to start it off first with a beverage. Right. A tall glass of blue milk. Classic signature Star Wars dish. Perhaps the first food item you see in Star Wars Episode IV, A New Hope.

That's right. That's the blue milk that Luke has in his Aunt Barue and Uncle Owen's. What are they called? That little place they live? The little shitty hut? Tatooine? No, Tatooine, like the actual building. Whatever their Tatooine hut is called.

Whatever their desert lodges. It's called Owen's Place. Oh, Owen's Place. Right. Let me that up. You know what I would say? Mm-hmm. And this is pretty obvious and on the nose, but jump ahead a few light years in time.

That's not quite light years. A few decades, a few non-light years, a few actual decades in time. And have yourself a little bit of Unkar Plutt's famous portion bread. Have yourself one full portion of that instant bread. It's Christmas after all if Unkar's giving you a full portion. Right. Oh man, I thought we weren't doing this. I thought you were doing a different segment.

What segment did you think we were doing? I thought you were doing little leftovers. Oh, we did the leftovers with cool. Oh, I got confused on the text message. Were you going to do something? Did you have something planned? No, no, no. Hold on.

So you were prepared to eat something. Prepared to eat. Oh man, this one is always so hard for me when I listen to it. I can never think of good. I don't know how. This is, so what did you do today? I said portion bread. For just like a bread?

Red, blue, red. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of things you could choose. Well, okay, I'm going to do an appetizer. Okay. I know that Star Wars is all about the force. So I'm going to pick a faux gras because that's when, isn't that lambs or force, baby lambs or force fed?

It's geese, I believe. Geese are force fed until like their stomachs explode. Or is it ducks? Is it ducks? Whatever that animal is. I think it involves force feeding animals in a very cruel way. Yeah. So you can have that food.

There's a particularly horrific method, which they do at factory farms, which I think they're, they do less now, but where they will actually remove the beak so they can attach a force feeding apparatus. Gitmo style. That is awful. Yeah. First of all, second of all, I don't love faux gras, so I'm okay, like, so I am okay to condemn it.

And also, because of the force? Yeah, I thought that was good. That's the force. The other idea was the light side and the dark side, dark meat turkey. I mean, what do you want? Couldn't we also have like a used faux gras from a place that doesn't do as terribly well? But it wouldn't be on theme.

I think the process is inherently a little cruel. Yeah. I think it's less cruel at certain outlets versus others, but I think it's inherently you're stuffing something up to an unhealthy degree so they can be slaughtered and their fatty liver can be retrieved. I think that's bantapudu. All right. So you got faux gras, you got bread, portion bread, and you got milk.

Blue milk. Blue milk. That smells disgusting. Hold on a second. I mean, this is the makings of a good meal right now. Now, Nick, we need to figure this out together. We need a main protein. Right.

And it's got to be something good, something that goes with faux gras, something that goes with bread and milk. Now what do you think, what would satisfy a wampa? Well, let's see. You've got du-bak lizards. Ton-tons. They might want to feast on a ton-ton. They might want to feast on a bantha, which you previously mentioned.

Now, banthas, I think a bantha may be a big hunk of buffalo meat. Right. That's kind of akin to a bantha. Yeah. I think that would be pretty good. Roasted buffalo meat. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's say like a big old, like a what? Like a buffalo loin? Yeah. Maybe a buffalo tri-tip. I feel like the similar, you get this. Oh, buffalo tri-tip. Right, because you kind of get a similar cuts of meat to a cow. So let's say a buffalo tri-tip is going to be your main portion, your main protein rather.

This is like a Colorado feast or something. This is like a plains meal or something. Right. Even though faux gras is weird, but whatever. You might find faux gras in the Great Plains regions, depending on where the ranches are. All right, you're up. You know, I realize that I'm probably unfairly equipped to answer this question because I realize I've seen the movie.

And in Rogue One, very, you know, some people are hearing that Darth Vader is in it. Yeah. And he is. And he, in his scene, because he's not in it too much, he is just kind of there as fan service. He walks down a hallway kind of intimidatingly, and then he goes into a kitchen and he cooks a delicious apple pie. Wow.

So I'm going to go for dessert. I think Darth Vader's famous apple pie as seen. Now they might cut it out of the final movie because it was an early cut, what I saw. Right. But Darth Vader's famous apple pie. Well, I also have, I saw this the same time. Oh, you did? Oh man, I can't believe we haven't talked about it.

I guess we were taking our NDAs very seriously until this moment. Another part of the thing that they don't show you in the previews is that another famous character, the guy who has the plans to the Death Star, is actually Jar Jar. Really? You see Jar Jar. And so we're going to have a dessert option. You can have Darth Vader's apple pie, or you can have Jar Jar's, Jar Jar's choice, which is either Jar Jar's choice.

Not even Jar's. There's two jars. One has vanilla pudding and vanilla wafers in it, and the other one has bread pudding in it, and you can choose either one. You have two, you have two jars that you can choose between. Now Nick, when I was at my advanced screening, I actually think I saw the back of your head. Right. So you were there too.

I was also there. I just want to remark real quick, I'm surprised given we know how much Jar Jar likes apples, he snatches them up from the table with his tongue, and then quite gone. Yeah, well sadly Darth Vader used all the apples. It's a shame that they didn't see that synergy and give Jar Jar some sort of apple-based dessert. Maybe Jar Jar will choose Darth Vader's apple pie. Well I mean this is dessert heavy. Yeah, he can't make the apple dessert because he'd be eating all the apples.

Right. Well you know, I think it's important that while we're giving all these spoilers about Rogue One, a Star Wars story, which all three of us have seen in advance, kind of, and again, you know, keeping in mind that sometimes these things are altered before the Final Cut hits theaters, but I think the scene that really made us all sort of like go wow and really like take a step back is that post-credits sequence, right, when Darth Vader walks in to talk to the Emperor, and if chronologically this will have been the first time that you will have seen the Emperor because he doesn't appear until episode five, which happens after Rogue One, a Star Wars story,

and he walks in on Emperor Palpatine, and Palpatine has flipped up his robes and is force-sucking his own dick. And Darth Vader's like, whoa, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in here. And Emperor's like, oh, just trying to get some work done? It's weirdly played like the Office. Right. But the weird thing about that is that the Office never had any scenes where anyone sucked It's far more explicit than the Office, but they try to have that tone.

There's a scene where Pam walks in on Michael changing, and she sees his dick, so it's kind of like that, but in that, Michael is not sucking his own dick, and you don't see it, so it was much more explicit. But that's, I guess, the difference between movies and TV. That's true. But anyway, what's more akin to putting your own dick in your mouth than having a tasty corn dog? A corn dog, for sure. A nice corn dog. The Emperor's corn dog.

Jam that sum bitch in your mouth, and you've had yourself a meal. No sides for this thing? Also, R2-D2 potatoes and, I don't know, C-3PO corn. Right. That is actually, you know, you could do a good job. You could, have you seen, I'm like imagining like pictures, like you could make a potato look like R2-D2, and you could make like corn maybe look like C-3PO. Right.

Like, that would be fun. Someone please do that, and take a picture of it. I like food that looks like things. That's a lot of fun. I like food that looks like things, too. A Star Wars Christmas. It'll be nice. Star Wars Life Day.

Oh, God. Guys, that was dinner in a movie. Until next time, the balcony is closed. Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email comes from Dr. Dustin DeVore. Dustin writes, I recently got into the podcast and have cut up on the back catalog over the past three weeks,

and you guys bring up Coke versus Pepsi a lot, and you often bring up certain companies' ethics. Well, I don't think this is necessarily as an ethic call as, say, Papa John. It should be noticed that, noted that Coca-Cola's dominance in the American and world market comes because it won the World War II contract after an immense amount of dubious lobbying by the Coca-Cola Corporation. A great business move, yes, but seemingly a bit of war profiteering. Every GI had access to Coke, and they brought their taste for it back home,

and it replaced Pepsi as the number one pop. Sorry, I'm from Oklahoma, and we call it pop. The power of wartime food can't be overstated. My grandfather, who fought at the Battle of the Bulge, grew an affinity for canned meats like spam, and it later became a staple of our decided non-Hawaiian family. Love the show, and please someday treat yourself to a Brahms if you're in Oklahoma or Texas. Thanks for the email, Dustin.

Let me tell you, I'm fighting the Battle of the Bulge every day. Right, huh? That's interesting. I did not know that about Coca-Cola. Yeah, an interesting bit of backstory. I don't know enough about the specifics of the case to really divine the ethics of this move. It does seem like a little bit, if you are going to... I guess in a sense it is war profiteering if they actually did that, but then again, I mean, is lobbying for any government contract unethical?

Is that the argument you're making? I don't know. It's kind of like that's the argument, which is, you know, for me, I think that kind of breaks down a little bit, because they were going to send sodas to the boys fighting overseas, and, you know, why should a company... It's not, you know, they have to advocate their own interest. No, if they crossed a line, then I don't know. What lines are crossed here? We need more details, I feel like.

Yeah, this is like... I feel like we need a little bit of a deep dive to understand exactly what's going on with... This is the great warrior talking about here, okay? You can't sully Coca-Cola's name over this... You're throwing this shit out there and we don't really know what happened, you know? Also, it's not the great... The great war was World War I. This is World War II.

The second great war. Right. It was just the great war, and then after World War II happened, then they called that World War II and retroactively called retconned World War... The great war is World War I. That's my understanding. Oh, really? Yeah. Either way... Yeah, either way, hey!

Coca-Cola was going to be fine. They had Don Draper come up with that great ad. I mean, I like what they did. Yeah. Pepsi is... Pepsi is not as good. You know what? I guess ultimately this just comes down to preference, because I like Coke, and so I hear this and I'm like, eh, whatever, they did what they had to do.

You can look past it. If I heard that Pepsi did this, I would have been up in arms and be like, another strike against Pepsi. It's disgusting. We talked about this, though, earlier, but like, you know, virtue signaling via your corporate allegiances is kind of a thing in 21st century America, and you know, you and I, Susser, we're wearing new balances.

Yes. As of the time of this recording, there's a lot of controversy about new balances being associated with white nationalists. You're certainly as a Jewish man. You're not someone who would want to have that association. No, I don't like that side, but I have a real, you know, I have a hard time finding shoes that are comfortable, new balance. Me, too.

The shoes are the best for me. I've even had doctors tell me. They're the most comfortable shoes I have. I think you guys are really Nazis. Well, I'm concerned. I'm really hoping this will blow, this controversy will blow over because I hate to have to abandon my favorite footwear company just because of its association with something.

You're wearing new balances. You're drinking a big slam Pepsi right now. I know we're wrapping up, but is there a restaurant that if the owners came out and said like, even worse, if they said yes, we are Nazis, not Nazis embrace it, just like the restaurant says we're Nazis, you would still be like, I still have to have it. God damn it, Susser, why'd you ask this question?

I feel like keeping in mind the way they've used their Christianity. If In-N-Out Burger did that, because they are a Christian company, but they're very, very understated about it, and so like on the underside of your soda cup, it'll just say like a Bible verse and just say like John 316. If instead of that, it's just something that, you know, it just says Hale Hitler or whatever. It's just some little bit of an odd to the third Reich,

and it's still very subtle and not in my face. I think I would still go to In-N-Out Burger. Jesus Christ. You joined the fourth Reich? Well, no, I wouldn't join the fourth Reich, but I might patronize that business, even if it had some sort of association, if they weren't doing your face about it.

Oh my God. Hey, remember how we saw me doing this all episode? He's a Nazi. I'm not a Nazi. The right answer was no. Okay, well, I'm not a Nazi. I'm not endorsing that. I think that's abhorrent.

That's fucking awful. But I'm just saying like if there was that, there's a little bit of leeway I'd give. And look at me. I'm not answering. I'd do it for Wendy's. Who am I kidding? I'd do it for any place.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcasts at gmail.com. Check out our Facebook page, Dowboys. Follow us on Twitter at dowboyspod. Subscribe and rate us on iTunes. Happy holidays to everyone out there. Enjoy your... Don't listen to this on Christmas.

Don't listen to this in advance on Christmas. You're telling people the very end of the episode. When to listen to this. If you've listened to this, inform your friends who haven't listened to it yet, who might be listeners, not to listen to this episode on Christmas Day. If you do listen to this on Christmas Day, tweet at us, I guess.

Hashtag, I ruined my Christmas. Susser, do you have anything you would like to plug at this point? I think, yeah. The Dowboys Back Catalog. Go back and listen to all the past episodes from 2016 and have a treat. What the fuck are you getting at? No, that's it.

I think that's a good thing to plug. Have you found a way to personally monetize our Back Catalog? Yeah, what's happening here? Thanks, Suss. It's always a delight to have you here. It was great, guys. I hope you guys enjoyed the episode. I hope people listening to it enjoyed it.

I think we got a little real. We got a little emotional. I don't know how funny it was at points, but I think it was very productive and good for the podcast. And I feel like we're leaving that the podcast is going to continue. I think it was a bad episode. I felt very unfunny, but I also feel like I was just so... I was very...

What's the word I'm looking for? I was very passionate about what we were discussing. So my mind wasn't really in a comedy place, but I get what Mitch is... I will take Mitch's note and try to loosen up a little bit and let things sort of... I mean, again, this is the last episode, so it doesn't matter, but I will try to keep in mind, moving forward,

that I could be a little bit looser, be a little bit more playful, try to get a little bit less in my head about staying on topic and just sort of let things breathe if the moment calls for it. Hey, Mary Cuckmus. That'll do for this episode of Don't Boys. Until next time, for The Spoon Man, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating.

See ya.