Doughboys - Sweetgreen 2 with Emmy Blotnick

Episode Date: August 11, 2022

Emmy Blotnick (The Colbert Show, Conan, Edinburgh Fringe Festival) joins the 'boys to discuss the discontinuation of the Choco Taco and jobs they've quit before a review of Sweetgreen. Plus, another edition of Family Food. Sources for this week's intro: https://www.georgetown.edu/who-we-are/our-history/ https://www.thefamouspeople.com/georgetown-university.php https://www.washingtonian.com/2018/09/18/nicolas-jammet-sweetgreen-got-its-start-georgetown-the-tavern/ https://www.howbrandsareborn.com/blog/sweetgreen https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/13/sweetgreen-from-a-dorm-room-start-up-to-the-starbucks-of-salad.html https://www.eater.com/2018/11/15/18096104/sweetgreen-1-billion-unicorn-tech-company-lifestyle-brand https://www.sweetgreen.com/missionWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig in to your data. Really dig in there, anytime, to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow. Why, restaurant owners, enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on

all orders, offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement. Wow, 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click. If you're on your phone, use your finger and click that link. Click that link in the episode description. Presidents Bill Clinton and Lyndon Johnson, NBA superstars Alan Iverson and Patrick Ewing, comedians John Mulaney and Jim Gaffigan, children of both Donald Trump and Joe Biden, all are alumni of Georgetown University, a Catholic and Jesuit institution first opened in 1792 in the Washington DC neighborhood with which it shares a name.

For nearly as long as the states have been united, the university has produced future elites and educated the money children of current elites. And so it's hardly a shock that one of the biggest chain restaurant success stories of the past decade comes from a trio of Georgetown alumni buoyed by seed money from their parents. In 2007, Nicholas Jamet, Jonathan Neiman and Nathaniel Rue were fresh out of school when they opened a fresh salad and bowl concept to provide an option for students that met at the nexus of healthy and affordable. The eatery was an instant hit not just with starving students, but also the DC power lunch crowd. And within a year, two more Washington area locations sprouted.

Today, the healthful bowl purveyor has built a loyal following of younger progressive consumers who love its sleek app and eco-friendly marketing and has grown to nearly 160 locations, a fourfold increase in the last time this podcast reviewed its food, officially becoming a billion dollar brand. So perhaps someday the names Jamet, Neiman and Rue will be listed alongside those other notable alums of the university that birthed their chain. This week on Doe Boys, we return to Sweet Green. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger along with my cohost, the Lord of the Onion Rings, the return of the Burger King, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

What the hell? Is this like the rings of shouldn't it been like the onion rings of power? Is it is trying to reference, look, is this a Comic-Con savvy listener or no? Or is this like a, is this just an old school shout out to Lord of the Rings? So return of the, okay, Lord of the Onion Rings, return of the King. Yeah, Lord of the Ring, return of the King. Yeah, so it's, you add onion to rings, you add burger to King. And that's how you land on that roast. I don't know if M from NorCal who sent that in is a Comic-Con savvy individual. M, E-M. Boy, an M loaded episode. Is that Bond's friend? It's E-M. No, it's E-M. Okay, E-M. Okay. Like, like, like Emma, our producer and our guest. This is where we're loaded with E-Ms today. How about that? Yes, I couldn't tell

because it sounds like you're broadcasting from a submarine. Susser submarine. You're gonna give me shit over my fucking mic. I told you before we started, here's the, here's the issue. I'm, I'm having problems with my local, this is, Emma, step in here because- Oh my God. No, no, no, no. That was the dorkiest shit I've ever heard of. No, here's what happened. I'm having issues with my, like last time, I, if I put myself in my, like, if I use my Scarlet Focusrite, which is what I use for my local record, if I put that into the StreamYard, that, that just, that messes up my waveform with my local record, creates a bunch of extra work for Emma. So instead of using my camera mic, which is not as good audio, which I said before we started recording, and then you

saved an, you had an on-air roast locked and loaded, ready to go. Oh, I'm sorry, that I matched your roast. You call me fucking Lord of the Onion Rings, and I said, you sound like shit. Well, guess what? You look like shit too, you piece of shit. I look great. Everybody looks wonderful today. By the way, to that explanation, all I gotta say is, fucking boring ass fucking explanation wigs. Yeah, I noticed you're wearing your sleep apnea mask while we're recording, just as a precaution. I can't believe you got so mad at me making fun of how you sound bad. Because this is, because this is going to sound great on the fucking episode. I know it will. Because we get a fucking wizard engineer slash producer. It's going to make it

sound like magic. So you don't have to beat up, beat me up on, on the record, which is something that our audience can't even recognize. Anyway, hey, dope boys, I thought this roast, while waiting for my McDonald's order while traveling through Munich, we got to come up to a new, the new solution, obviously. My camera mic thing is going to be a thing Mitch is going to fucking needle me about every goddamn record. So we thought this is going to work. Apparently it's not. I thought this is also waiting for McDonald's order while traveling through Munich. The German McDonald's menu is fairly similar to the one in the US. But they're chili cheese snackers, which are basically jalapeno poppers are quite popular here. And I wonder if you can remember

US McDonald's ever having jalapeno poppers. I don't remember that roast, spoon, energy, mail.com. I do not remember that. Look, yeah, today's off to a wacky start. One thing is definitely a 1000% your fault. We'll get into it. But how dare you? There's gremlins in the audio. I was having some audio glitches. Yeah, I didn't bring that up. I didn't talk about the we fucking waited in 10 minutes because your headphones wouldn't connect. I didn't start the episode with that energy. No, there was stuff you were doing in that 10 minutes anyways, which was fine. What are you talking about? Stuff I was doing stuff that we had that had to be done because of your gigantic fuck up, but we'll get to it. Jesus Christ.

It's gonna be one of those episodes. No, you're you are cranky today. I can't even joke. You're cranky. You're cranky. I am not cranky. I'm in a great mood. I'm going to New Orleans tomorrow. Down in the bayou. New Orleans to back to the bayou. The big easy. No one's cranky down there. Yeah, the only thing that's cranky down there is a gator without his claw. If he doesn't have a crawfish, a gator without his crawfish companion. Is that what you mean? Yeah. Yeah, best friends down there. There we go. Just a little bayou talk gets us back in the mood. Man, it is hard to talk to you. You sound like shit. Anyways, is this fuck? Should I switch mics? No, I'm kidding. I genuinely don't think it's that bad, but it's just not your normal mic.

Here's a little switch mics. I'm kidding. I'm trying to make it feel better. Here's my other mic. Here's my other mic. Oh, you sound smooth as hell. I take it back here. You sound great. But it's going to take me three times as long to edit the episode because this is audition audio. It'll be all fucked up. So I'm going to switch back. I'm going to switch back to the... I'm sorry, Emma. That sucks, but we got to do it. I'm switching back to the camera audio. Hopefully this didn't mess up my local record. No, you sound fine. You sound fine with it. I was just trying to give you a hard time. It's fine. Look, there's an AC guy coming to my house in 20 minutes. It's going to be a chaos episode. It's going to be one of those episodes.

It's going to be one of those episodes. You know, Mitch, we talk about your domestic tasks a lot. We rarely get into mine. I've been doing some work with my Tableau. I don't know if you can see this new bookshelf I got in the corner back here. Look at that little leaning bookshelf. I got the Celeste poster up here, a game I know we both played. I put that under my Maninoke Hime poster, a Japanese princess Maninoke poster. The Epstein autobiography on your shelf. It's signed recently. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. So what are you doing? Why are you doing this? What's the deal? I'm trying to make this. I spend so much of my life in this room where we record,

where I play video games, where I use my computer if I have any stuff, if I have any work that's not, you know, for the podcast. I just spend so much time in this room. So I was like, I got to make this room more hospitable. Let's be honest. It's where you jack it. Yeah, you got to have a jack shack. I thought so. It's just part of having a domestic partner. Can't be doing that out in the open. Mix and work and play in that room, I guess. I'm going to sit bare ass on the kitchen floor like a freaking animal. No, I got a jack shack. That's what I do. That's a fucking awful image. Anyways, Wags, here is a little drop.

I got a little drop for us to listen to. And here is that little drop. And through the cosmos all day, it's Gorko's Planet. His spaceship has landed. Our salons and wagons away. It's Gorko's Planet. A Nick Wager production. Hey, buddy. Wow. Fake theme song for Gorko's Planet, the fake show I did not work on. I guess you could also call like the Simpsons theme song fake because it's like in the Simpsons universe. But I like the work that went into that. God, that's what you like. You like the work. I like the craft.

You'll be a horrible manager. So it went and wrote an original ditty. A McDonald's or something. I like the work, boys. Keep it up. I'm a great motivator. People love that. For today's app, drop. Oh, I'm just reading. I'm reading the actual forward emails. This drop is gold. Come on, dudes. That's that's that is the entirety of the email. There's no and then it's from Gorko's Planet. Gorko's Planet at ZohoMail.com. Maybe that stocks in the person. Someone made an email account. Yeah, I can't imagine that's their personal email. If it is, that's that's

way too obtuse for any of your friends or family or co-workers. But someone made a specialty email just to submit that roast. Interesting. Yeah, better email than my email. Actually, both of my emails. I have a new secret email that no one will know about and I won't tell anyone about. Yeah, I know what Nick knows about, but it is better. It has been helpful, honestly. Yeah, that's what we've been telling you for fucking 15 years. Stop using your AOL email that you created when you were 14 with the default username they suggested. It was before I was 14 even. I think it was probably when I was like 11, 12, wow back. Yeah. Your your your your your default email address, your your AOL email address doesn't even have Mitch in it. It doesn't need

it doesn't even have like your name. All right, now you're doxxing me. It does have parts of my name. Yeah, it has parts of your name, a random assemblage of characters and then at AOL.com, which means that every time I get CC'd on an email with you, someone includes like, hey, not sure if this is Mitch's current email or not. Well, they're fucking dumbasses. I don't want them to know. They're dumbasses. What do you want me to say? You know who's not a dumbass? Who? Who's in fact one of our favorite guests? Huh? Someone we're very, very excited to have back on the podcast, a writer and comedian from Colbert Show and Conan. And if you're in the UK,

I know we got a lot of UK listeners. You can see her at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival Assembly at 640pm for all of August. Emmy Blotnick is here. Hi, Emmy. Hi guys. Oh my god. It's very exciting to be back. Thanks for having me. And you were being here. I mean, Emmy, we have something to talk about up top, which is that as of this record, the Choco Taco was just continued. Two people texted me this news, Mike Mitchell and Emmy Blotnick. So you both, you both were personally impacted by the Choco Tacos non-existence. Does a headline ever feel like it deserves front page treatment in just your world? You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. This struck me. It took me by surprise. I was surprised by this too. Look, there's a lot of people

who think that this is just a move to get people interested in it again. I'm not sure. I mean, I have no idea. I don't know how popular the Choco Taco is, but it's sad nonetheless. I mean, whether it is just like a marketing gimmick or if it is, if they're really taking it away, it bums me out. But I hope that it comes back at some point. I don't eat them a lot though. Emmy, do you have them a lot or no? I tend to order something different when I visit a chocolate taqueria. I usually have a fruity flauta or something. But I read that they were, it sounds like at the Klondike company, like they were like, one of these has to go. There was a quote, they were like, we want to be able to serve

everything we have. And so we've got to get written. Like the logic doesn't quite add up to me. They did an internet ones got to go thing at their own company? Yeah, it does sound like that. I once got one got a goad from a job at a taqueria, so. Wow. You got fired? Guys, it's been a while since we've recorded together. You got fired from a taqueria? I didn't get fired from a taqueria. I got fired from a different job, but I didn't want to say the job. So I just said taqueria. Even though we're talking about

a different one, I feel like it's really confusing for everybody. And I've started with a little diarrhea squirt today. No, you're doing great. It's a no boys way. I've never been fired before. Isn't that wild? Me, a man who should have been fired. You're too likable. You're too likable. And that's what happens. I think that's a big part of it is just like, like Mitch is a big lovable guy. And so if you do something kind of doofus, like doofus like, you're just like, that's Mitch, you know, it's not like a ground term. I'm a fucking sitcom. Have you been fired? You ever get canned? I've been fired, but I've been fired in the sense of I like, like I had a couple jobs I just stopped

going to and that led to me getting fired. No, that doesn't count. I don't think that. I mean, I've stopped going to a job like being like, I'm done. I don't want to like to a shitty job too, by the way. Don't don't make me feel at a job. I'll tell you where it was. You know, I'm going to dox them the snake pit on Melrose. I used to be the doorman there. Yes. Is that a snake place? Yeah, it is. You can go and pet snakes. Yeah, you can drink and pet snakes. Also check out the Viper room in LA, similar concept. They didn't, they didn't, the lady who owned the bar didn't share, she didn't share tips with the doorman. And I was just like, they called, they called, like the, like, I think it was like

the day of they called me to go in and I was just like, I'm not fucking going. I don't like this job. She doesn't split the tips. I'm fucking not going in. So I just didn't go in. And then she held my last check for me. She wouldn't give me my last check, which I was like, it's fucking monstrous. But was it because you took another job at Snake Shack? She's back guys. Okay. Also, I had, I had, I had a card at, you are back. That diamond square is now, you're pushing out a full, you're pushing out full logs now. Fucking Christ. Yeah, I came to pinch loaves, mother fuckers. I bet that, that's what I've heard of this and I've never worked in food service and

God bless everyone who does. You're doing the Lord's work. The, the, but I, the, when I, anytime I hear about that, anytime I hear about like ownership, like stealing tips, that to me is like just the most evil shit. It's like, like, what the fuck are you doing? Like why, like, like that's the whole, that's the whole incentive for someone taking a food service job or a server job or a bartending job or whatever, where they're being paid literally like below minimum wage because they're a tipped employee. And then if you're stealing their tips, it's like, what the fuck are you doing? She sucked in also, they, the, like, the rest of the staff was actually pretty, was nice and good people. And like one of the bartenders

there would split their tips with me, this, this woman who like, and who wasn't an owner. And she was just nice. You know what I mean? She was just a nice person. Why is my doorbell has wrong? I believe we know what this is. I'll be right, I'll be right back. I'm just gonna go, retrieve, whatever he is, whatever he's got from his, oh wait, we do know what's coming. It's like he's got some sort of, he's got like an HVAC situation. AC filters, yeah. He said, we're presuming there's also H and V involved, whatever those, I don't know what those two stand for. It's, yeah, well, I think, I assume the H is heating. Heating, ventilation and air conditioning, maybe? Yeah, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, no, that sounds so

right that I don't think you have to. HVAC acronym, I'm gonna do it anyway, because it's also sometimes in an acronym one will be like a little bit of a swerve, it's like, oh, interesting. It's not quite that. Vehicular. It is heating, ventilation and air conditioning, I was correct. The, yeah, Mitch was talking about getting fired from jobs and I, yeah, I really, I did have like a couple of jobs. I had an IT job in college that I just stopped showing up to. And then I also had a, you know what, honestly, when I was really burned out from working at Activision, my first video game job, and I was, I got moved onto the shift, the morning shift, where like, it was a call of duty,

I was actually a call of duty one, that's how long ago this was. They were crunching on call of duty one, and so they were doing round the clock shifts on the fucking, on QA testing this game. And so my, my day was like, you were, you were like at like the event that was based on call of duty, like, you know, one of the world wars. Also, what, what, what, what, what, what was your first email? I'm sure that it was, you, you, you created it on a, on a, yeah, on a Commodore or whatever the fuck you're using, but what, what was your, what was your first on use net? I, you know, honestly, I don't remember. I think by, yeah, I don't, I probably, something my dad created. So it probably had like chemistry.edu in it. It was probably like, like a test email my

dad made, so I could send emails as a kid. Horny for Mrs. Weiger. Jesus Christ. You're the one with the edibus concept complex. What the hell? That's your dad made it. I feel like you rarely see like a fan email address between a son and his mother. Oh, that was for my dad. That was my dad. That's better. Oh, oh, oh, I thought he made it for you. That's what it sounded like. It was going to add like a whole like, it's, it sounds like a sordid love triangle. I mean, that's what I was saying, that he made it for, for a while. That's it. I was, I'm with you. The game, the games industry is, is the, the, you know, the working conditions are horrible. And so I was, I was literally like, I had like a six a.m. to six p.m. shift. And so I have to get in, do 12 hours of playing the same

like level over and over again, looking for bugs and because it's just such a tedious process. And, and I just got burned out of it. I just stopped showing up and it was fine. No one, like honestly, no, they didn't, no one gave a shit. Was it the job where you ate like a Snickers bar every morning? Was that what that was? That was part of it. Yeah. When I was working in customer support, my, my meal, my, my a.m. meal was I would get a Snickers bar from the vending machine, a cup of black coffee and a Mountain Dew Code Red. That's how I'd start every shift. Damn. That's, that's intense. Somehow I got fat as shit. You're getting away from the HVAC guy. Yeah, HVAC is back. See, here's the thing. Does it feel

anti-climactic to just stop showing up at a job? I feel like if you hate it and you have the chance to quit in like a cool way, that's, did that not feel like a missed opportunity for you? In hindsight, maybe, but also like I'm just such a, like, like my feelings was, was more apathy. It was, it was less like, fuck this place. It was more like, I can't do it anymore. You know, it was more just sort of a, of a, so, so I honestly feel like the just drifting away from it was the right move for me, you know, instead of versus a spectacular exit. I don't know. Have you, Emmy, have you ever quit a job spectacularly? Not spectacularly, but I've, I've definitely quit a job really quickly before and it was, I wish I had done it in a bolder way. Like, you know,

when you get to a job and you know in the first day that it just totally sucks and you're like, this isn't going to get, I'm not going to learn. This isn't anything useful. I'm about to get paid like dirt. Like, I wish I had been like, okay, unsolicited feedback, I guess, is in everybody's thing, but I kind of wish I had been like, Hey, there's nothing of value about this profession. And you might want to consider making this remotely valuable for the person who has to do it. Right. Yeah. That's, I worked in, well, I've told you this before, but my, my uncle got me a job in like a shower supply boxing factory. That's right. Shower supply? Yeah, like Simmons. And I was just like boxing, I was just like boxing shower, like shower, like shower heads and stuff.

And I have so much respect for people who do it because it was a fucking, like my first day there, one of the guys there was like, you're going to need like headphones. You're going to listen to something. And after the first day, I was just like, it was, it was fucking off. Like I need, he was right. I needed to, like, because you just go crazy, eight hours straight, just like boxing stuff out of boredom. Yeah, you're just so, you're just, you're just fucking bored. I mean, like, you're real, like eight hours of just doing the same, like, you know what I mean? Like you're thinking, you're thinking a lot of shit, you know, you start going crazy. But at least it's like not super, I think it's cool if you can listen to, this is the podcast industry. Is it not like

jobs where you're like putting something in a box? I feel like the worst is if it requires your full attention and presence, but then you're like, you know, delivering like dog treats to a mean person. Right. See, I would, I wonder after, after having doing that, I, and I worked on a garbage truck one summer, which also was sucked, but was also like, like that was like, better in a lot of ways, because like, at least with a mean person, like the mean person will leave, or you can go outside, you know what I mean? And like, the monotonous part of that job, for me at least, I don't know, that was, that was the worst part of it was just that it was the same thing over and over and over again. I guess I kind of think every garbage is different, but that's just me. Did you ride on

the back of the truck? Did you like hang on to the truck? I did ride on the back of the truck. Yeah. Oh my God, that part sounds cool. Yeah, it seems really cool. It was fun. And then like, sometimes they would be like, we'd get like, like basically like on like part of the highway for a second, which like was scary. And I feel like we should, I feel like probably wasn't allowed, but like it would be like for an exit, basically. Yeah. And I feel like that was illegal. But were you, are you literally just like, are you tethered to it by anything other than your hand? Are you just holding on to it? No, no, you're not tethered to it. You're just fucking hanging onto the back. Because I don't know if there was like a safety strap or something.

You're standing on the back. Wow. Hold on. Do you think you could total a car if you fell off the garbage truck? Like when you hit a deer and it like really messes up your car? I mean, me, yes. Other people probably not as much, but I, I definitely would fucking, I would definitely do some damage. I used to, this is the job where I saw Tom Brady jogging wigs. That's right. Along Wallaston Beach. Cause so we would pick up, it was, there was a Quincy, so it was, it was the, hmm, was it Quincy Park Department? Cause it was actually over the bridge in the Ponson in Dorchester. So I don't know. How do you not have a TV show called like Boston garbage? I feel like that would be an amazing, an amazing series for you. Like Chicago fire.

Well, because wigs and I are, are basically what some people describe as Hollywood poison. I could try to, I could, I could, I could develop Boston garbage for 17 months and then have them be like, ah, it didn't work out. Sorry. That's like, everyone who liked this got fired. Yes. They're now like executive somewhere else and they're doing fine, but you're out of luck. Yeah. A worse industry than garbage is Hollywood. What do you think of that wigs? I mean, I think there's, there's something telling about that, that Hollywood is worse than the garbage industry. I am curious about, because we're talking about, we're talking about sweet treats earlier. We're talking about a lot of unhealthy stuff that you put in your body,

but, but we're going to talk about a very healthy chain. And Emmy, are you someone who tries, tries to, yeah, honestly, it's kind of something of a respite for us because last week we, with our, with our friend Becky Feldman, we had nothing bunt cakes. So we had literally 12 mini bunt cakes. That was tough. Too much. That was tough on the old GI tract. But so we're, so it's nice when we've got something that's a little healthier for us. Although, although, you know, our listeners usually like it when we review like different pizza chains or whatever, but I think people, people have opinions on sweet cream. And I'm curious, Emmy, what do you think? I think that our, I think our listeners would like it if we drank like butter and oil. I don't

think that, like, uh, that's when they're happiest. The dough boys should drink more chemicals. We like, we like it when the dough boys poison their body. They should eat literal garbage. Or I might say, I mean, they like it when we're having diarrhea squirts to them. That's like pinching loaves. Wow. Do you, do you aim to eat healthy, Emmy? I go back and forth. I feel like I'm not a consistent, uh, health chaser. Like I'll, I'll sometimes like let it get real weird and bad and then be like, huh, I have, uh, acne on my neck now. Should I eat vegetables? You know, it's that kind of thing. Right. Um, yeah, I don't know. I, I, I'm not sure I even think sweet green is all that healthy. I can't tell. It might be like

fake healthy. Does that make sense? It 100% makes sense. It's very caloric, even though it's ostensibly like, you know, a bunch of, uh, of vegetables and lean proteins. Look, I think you just got to say it's, it's, it's healthy. And I mean, as far as, come on, it's healthy. Look, the thing I got maybe is like, that's the issue is that if you get a bowl here, you're, that's, if you get, if you get, like, if you get any sort of carb underneath your salad, which is like what everyone wants, it's why this play, like it's why this place kind of works is like, I want quinoa in this bowl, or I want fucking wild rice or whatever, whatever the options are. By the way, how sad is it to be a fucking adult? Like in your thirties and forties where you're just like, like quinoa is a treat.

Ooh, I'm going to get myself some wild rice today. I'm feeling naughty. I want little orange slices in mine. Or, oh, I feel like places like this love a golden raisin. Like that's like their, that's their, their like, their, their, um, like the hairy styles, you know, like bring out this dazzling little, dazzling little treat. Well, this, well, this place also, as you guys know, is a huge writer's room sort of spot, right? Like, uh, I feel like those white raisins, I think, I feel like those white raisins, they're trying to get, they're, they're trying to get, they're trying to get some of the writer crowd. They're trying to get, they're trying to pull in some of those writers. The, uh,

Mitch, they're golden. Please don't whitewash raisins. These little, these little fucking booger white raisins there. I don't even know why people like them that much. They taste the same, right? Uh, I mean, I think they have a little bit more, they're a little bit more zing than I think a conventional raisin. I think, I think they're a little, I think they are, they're a little bit more, uh, citrusy is the wrong word. Maybe a little bit more acidic, a little less sweet. Okay. I don't know. All right. I think they're just novel. Like people think, people think they're a novel. Yeah. I think, I think you're, I think you're right. I think that they, they,

there's something about them that, you know, like they're lucky. That might be it. Oh my God. My, my sweet green man is here. This is huge. Emmy's sweet green man just arrived, which means we're going to take a break and we'll come back and hear what she thought right after this. Hey you, you craving fresh, delicious, easy meals, try wild grain and get their bake from frozen sourdough breads, fresh pastas and artisanal pastries delivered right to your door. That's right. Wild grain is the first ever bake from frozen subscription box for sourdough breads, fresh pastas and artisanal pastries. Unlike typical supermarket bread,

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a Sweet Green that's a local lunch spot. But if you look at where they're clustered, it's pretty much all like California, Oregon, Pennsylvania, D.C. It's basically a map of states that voted for Biden. They recently acquired Sprice, Mitch, which is, this is the thing we've been talking about, Robot Meal Prep. Sprice is an MIT startup. It's in Boston, and they use robots to prepare food. Perhaps that's the direction Sweet Green is going ultimately, because they are very, very tech focused. That's wild. Also, I was just thinking about if you worked on an assembly line or if you worked in a box factory and then listened to this podcast, it would just fucking suck. I apologize. Makes your day go longer. Maybe you love your job. You want to just stretch it out.

How do I slow time down? Because my favorite thing in the world is putting shower heads in boxes. I guess that, and then Doe Boys is the thing to listen to. I think that this is a writer's, to me, a golden raisin. That's something Craig Mason is looking for. A raisin for Mason. You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying Craig Mason is a bad guy. I'm just saying that he probably likes golden raisins. Man, a dorm room with Craig Mason and fucking Ted Cruz. Jesus, hell in a cell. Imagine if you were in that fucking, if you were the third in that fucking room. I think a golden raisin for Craig Mason. I think that that's what it is. I think that that's what people, I think that it's like, you know, these golden raisins, that's what these writers want.

Look, it's a place that you're going to spend $17 on a salad. That is a sort of white-collar lunch spot. So in that sense, yes, this is a place that you're not that, you know, if you're working at the box factory, it's not like you're going to get it like, hey, we're putting it in order for sweet grain. Which, you know, which of these, which of these, these harvest bowls do you want? Like that's not like the kind of situation, like this is the kind of thing that I think happens if you're working in a, obviously everyone's working from home or a lot of office workers are working from home these days. But, you know, in the old school corporate world, yeah, this is the kind of thing that you would get if you had a white-collar job and you were sending out for

lunch. And I think that's a lot of its, I think that's a lot of its clientele. I think its appeal is that it is, you know, at least ostensibly a healthy chain. And it's usually like, if we see where they're clustered, a lot of the locations now these days are like literally like a fix to an office building. They're either like, like the ground floor of a, of an office complex or some of them are specifically like just catered to a workplace. It's like, if you work at this, but if you work at Microsoft, there's a sweet green that's just for Microsoft employees at this particular ad quarters. It's really strange. Yeah. Microsoft. Remember that old joke about Microsoft? Yeah, it's like your, it's specifically about your dick, right?

Basically, yes. That's why I was thinking of it. Right. Wigs, our guest is eating right now. That's right. Because you fucked up big time. How dare you? You've, you've roasted me for this before where our guest has come on and be like, was I supposed to eat something for the pod? Yes. Our guest, Emmy, was like, was I supposed to have eaten this for the pod? You didn't tell her in the email. We saw the email you fucked up. Let me, let me say this. First off, our, our producer Emma is a star and solved this problem in real time. She, she got on her app, she ordered it to Emmy and then it showed up. I don't get where you fucking did the, I don't get where you think this was.

I maybe should have confirmed that she was going to eat in the email. Emma, don't you dare take. No, it's, no, it's fine. It's not your fault. Don't you dare take responsibility. He's, he's roasted me, he's roasted, he's roasted me for this before. It's my fault. Second of all, stop trying to get out of this by kissing Emma's ass. You fucking dork. Emma is an angel. That's right. Keep going. You're fucking up. So you're fucking, so you're kissing Emma's ass in the, in the listener. He's like, we love Emma. This works for us. I'm not saying that that's bad. Everyone should love Emma. That's right. But here, here's the, here's the issue. I, I fucked up. I will absolutely

readily admit I fucked up. I should have told, I should have made sure that was the case with Emma. Emma has done the podcast. Yeah. Say it again. See what I call you, Microsoft. Is the HVAC man still in the room with you? HVAC man, Chris, Chris is gone in the fucking, and let me tell you, it's nice and cool in here, baby. It's fucking cooled out. Filter's changed. Chris did his job quickly. I was very impressed. What a pro. Chris is the man. Just like sweetgreens. Sweetgreens did their job quickly. They did. It's impressive operation. Emma, this will, and, and look, I got a man over machine all the time. I don't, I don't, you know, I know that, I know that sweetgreens isn't officially,

not all of them use, use machines to make their, their lunches, but our guest actually in, in her email to us said something that I thought was very funny and fitting where she, she said sweetgreens is good. They sound like, they seem like a good tech company. That was her. Yeah. I believe that that was it. And I, and it made me laugh. And I'm like, that kind of is a weird thing with sweetgreens. It's like, they're so, they're like, they're very much about this app. They got their own app. Very tech focused. Yes. They got this. They got, they got, they got this all worked out. It makes me sad because I was a tender green guy. And like, I actually think that tender green does like taste better. I mean,

I think they've also, you know, fallen quite a bit, but they never got it figured out quite like sweetgreen did where, where like they are just like, they're just a machine. I mean, they are the fucking, they're the, they're the, they're the boxing factory of salad places that you like go in there and it's just an assembly line. And you're, you're in and out of there pretty quick. It makes sense that Emmy's order came so quickly. Yes. Is that that's places is crazy efficient. They both kind of have cafeteria like setups, but sweetgreen has seems to have mechanized it more effectively. By the way, sweetgreen is singular. Tender greens is plural. And as Emmy was, was mentioning, uh, Emmy, you talked about the, that there are a bunch of these places and you were

kind of like, I don't know if I've eaten at sweetgreen before because they're just so many concepts that are doing similar things. Yes. And, uh, oh, speaking of people who did their jobs quickly, guess who just ate a salad in five minutes. Unbelievable. Dear Lord. That's crazy. Oh yeah. Can't wait to see what happens next. How I feel during this. Cause that's a lot of food. You get a, you get a, like that bowl is densely packed and it'll sometimes take me like 20 minutes if I'm just eating it normal at a normal pace to finish that thing. I think that's what some office people might enjoy about it too. It's cause like a sandwich is over in a, like you can black out through a sandwich. This salad's going to be there.

This salad's going to keep being there. Um, but yeah, wigs, you're so right. There is just salad. There is chopped. There's the, um, there's a bunch of them. I named two, but I know mixed. Mixed is one. Mixed. Kava is kind of adjacent as a, as a salad bowl place. Oh, and did we say chopped? I think chopped is one. Yeah. Chopped. Oh, they love changing it. They love changing an 80 to a T.

There's a T, there's a TV show chopped and then there is, there's a salad chopped. Yeah. And chopped, the salad place is sort of, it's like, it's punctuated like, like a contraction of a chopped and I don't know what's the T, shouldn't, shouldn't. It's, it's, it's, I mean, all these, all the names are pretty annoying. I almost kind of appreciate sweet green, not being one of the, like the, uh, apostrophe salad places. I mean, I gotta say this, I've eaten like right before show and then, like right before the show. And then oftentimes, or even during the show, and oftentimes like by the time the fork score comes around, I'm like four forks and I'm running

out of the room to the bathroom. So I, I feel for you that you just scarfed down an entire fucking bowl during, during that, during the episode. And I mean, you know what? Yes. At least it's sweet green. It could be, it could be something way, way worse. So like, because I was just, I was just thinking, Mitch, that just made me think of when, when you and I and, and, and John Gabriel, uh, were, we had, this was like probably 2016. This was, this was a way, maybe 2017. This was a, this was a ways back, but we had, we did our, our, a live show at the SF sketch fest and we had, we reviewed Taco Bell for like the fourth time or whatever the fuck. Podcast has been on fumes for years. Already on in 2016. Yeah. It was 2016. We did Taco Bell

four or six. Yeah. We'd, we were, we'd, we racked up the Taco Bell reps real quick. So, but, but we ate like a whole bunch of Taco Bell backstage right before the show. That was a gnarly one. Yeah. That was probably, yeah. That'll, that'll cloud your thoughts. Yes. Yes. That was a situation where we were like five forks and ran backstage and then, and then did a, did a fucking totem pole on the toilet. Jesus Christ. I did a quick Google search because I was disappointed in how few salad chains I could name one put on the spot, but there's also tossed salad works, fresh and co, and chopped, which I don't think we said. Tossed. I've had one of those. Tossed. If I had fresh and co. Tossed is just fucking gross. It just,

I think I've had fresh and co. Yeah. Obviously. There's a little fucking butt emoji next to tossed in the title. Jesus. So I went to the, here's what I'll say. Yes, it is a tech company. Butt emoji. I just thought that was weird. You should have called me out for a bonus, a butt emoji. Is there a butt emoji? I thought like a peach emoji. That's what I always think. There we go. Yeah. Anyway, the, the, the app is not crap. In fact, I think this might be the best app in the game. It's, it is, it's really, really sleek. I mean, it's a good tech company. You're not wrong. It's, it is. And what, I don't know if that was your joke. I might be butchering your joke, but, but, but, uh, it is, that was the thrust of it for sure. Uh, it is, Nick, you're

right. It is, it's fucking, it just is, it's good. It's, it, it works well. They set you up with a delivery person. Uh, if you get needed delivered or if you pick it up or whatever it's, and it's like, the, the thing with sweet green, that's funny to me is like, you can customize salads and basically do whatever you want, but you can't, you can, they set a limit of dressings you can get, which I think is funny, which I, I'm not trying to get more, you can, you can, you can get like a combination of like three. So if you get hot sauce and two, whatever, but like, you can't go over that. They won't let you go more than three. At least I, I couldn't do it. So I'm not, and I also, I'm not trying to do it. I mean, it is, it is. And look, I won't, I'm not trying to get more

like with these, but I will say that oftentimes tender greens will just the base dressing is a tiny container like this big and that is not, there's, there's so many greens and, and that's why we were impressed that you got through it so quickly. The salad is just like the, the salad like unfurls. It's like, there's just so much salad in these little bowls that they, that they pack in there. But, but, and oftentimes not enough, not enough salad dressing if you just did one. But, you know, you basically have two and then like a hot sauce or, you know, there's a lot of these salads have like multiple dressings. They do like, you know, some of this and some of that or whatever. Can you talk me through the application when you get one salad with three dressings?

You know what, it happened today. It was, I got, you know, I'm going to talk about it. I got the, I got the chicken. So first of all, this, this was, this was a late setup record and why I said Emmy's in. Yes. And we were, we were trying to decide what to do. We were scrambling because, because this way we weren't supposed to record this week. And then your flight ended up being later than we, than we expected going back to now lens. And so we had a record, we had a record slot open up. And, and fortunately, Emmy was around to do this and was, and sweet green was available to all of us. So I, I, Nick, we, Nick, Emmy, Emmy was on board. This is the, this is the type of guest Emmy is on board. We don't have an arrest. We don't even have a

restaurant yet. Emmy's just on board. Yeah. This is, this is the kind of pro that Emmy is. So we say, although Nick forgot to tell her that she had to eat the restaurant. So I had, I had, I was just going to say, I mean, Emmy's done the podcast twice before, at least twice before, I think I also done a, done a double episode. So I kind of assumed she knew the drill, but that's my, that's on me, that's on me for not double check. It's been a long one. It's been a while. Now you're putting it on me. I'm not putting it on Emmy. I'm not putting it on Emmy. I'm saying it's on me. It's my fault for assuming. Anyways, to get to the bottom of it, I had my sweet green app opened and I said to Wags, sweet green, we hadn't done it in a while. I'm trying. It's true.

Just the idea of like getting like, you know, like eating some burgers and within the 24 hours after I had been, the weekend is always bad for me, Wags. I always do pretty bad eating on the weekend. It's just a thing I assume is going to happen. And so I had my sweet green app open and I said, sweet green, Wags was on board. Emmy, you are on board too. I think it's a good one to get back to because I also, I feel differently about sweet green than I, than I did the last time we reviewed it because I am more of a fan of it now, which now I feel like it's been around for so long that I feel like people are, wow, Wags pulled up the first episode pick. This is, this is the guess one. This is not our first episode pick. This, oh yeah,

this is the first sweet green episode pick. This is our, this is, we reviewed sweet green with Siobhan Thompson back April 21st, 2016. Wow. Jesus. To quote. That's a while ago. Wow. Look at how thin we look also, Mitch. That fucking is in here. Jesus Christ. We've gained so much weight. Fuck. Yeah, you guys used to be waifs. Strong breeze would have fucking lift us both off our rough. Oh my God. I can't talk. I, I believe you're doing a strong breeze would have lifted us both. Your salad is unraveling spoon. My salad is unraveling. All right. So look, I had this open and I was happy to do it. I don't want to eat a burger.

Yeah. My thoughts since that 2016 episode, I've changed a lot. I kind of like sweet green now just in the way of you can customize it. You can get a bowl and Emmy, like you said, I don't know, like, you know, you're going to hit like 700 calories for a salad, but also it's still a salad and it's obviously better than eating other food. You know what I mean? Like you're not, I mean, I'm not eating fucking, I don't have to eat red meat. I don't have to eat anything that's fried. So I got myself the custom chicken toast out of bowl. I custom, I customized it. I got the chicken to start a bowl. I added spicy broccoli because the spicy broccoli there is pretty good. And I, and I also added shaved parmesan, removed the

goat cheese, got rid of the goat cheese dressing. I got it on the side. Two portions of lime cilantro. Slime, cilantro, jalapeno, vinaigrette. That's a fucking long title for a salad dressing. Lime, cilantro, jalapeno, vinaigrette. And one portion of sweet green hot sauce. Damn it. I've sneezed on Mike. Achoo, or wait, sorry. Gazuntite. I almost said achoo, but that's what you say, two sneeze. I thought, did you say sneezed? I sneezed on Mike. I can't believe I sneezed. So I got, I got, I got, so I, I got three. I also added bread. So I was a little bad boy added in a hundred calories.

I usually don't add the bread, but I was, I knew we were doing it for the show and I was like, I'm going to get something fucking, I'm going to add a hundred calories in bread. The thing I didn't do, like Emmy, which Emmy, which Emmy did do, which we'll talk about in a little bit, and I'm mad as I didn't get any sides. I think that the two jalapeno vinaigrettes is like just enough to dress this salad. I think you do need the two of them. And then the hot sauce on top. Look, it's hot sauce. There's no, there's no real calories in it. And they, and, and you know what? They got a really good hot sauce there. The hot sauce is, the hot sauce is, is, is real good. I don't know what they use. It might just be a fucking basic hot sauce, but you know, whatever

it is, it's, it's good. It reminds me of that crystal sauce we got down here now, Vince. I'll tell you what. I love crystal. You see, you'll see some crawdads with some, with some crystal. You'll be sitting pretty. Wags or, or as I should call you, Mr. Bayou. That is, that, that crystal hot sauce is one of my, it's, it's, I mean, it's, right, it's, it's, great hot sauce. It's, it's, it's one of the best. And I got myself a hibiscus tea. Zero calories. I like, their teas are, are no calories. Zero calories. And it is one of those, the, so the, what is it called? The hibiscus clover tea. Yeah. It's, it's damn good, Wags. It was, mine was a little warm. I tossed some ice cubes right

into the, right into it. They, so they used to have this, they, they used to have these teas like a, they used to have like a, the fountain drink. They used to be, the teas used to be in the fountain. Now they come in these like a, in like a Snapple glass bottle, but it is glass. It's a glass bottle recyclable, but the tea is really good for zero calories. It's, it's, it's a really tasty tea. I'm like, I'm shocked that it is, that it is zero calories. So this is, this is like, I've gotten the Devin, Devin Booker bowl Wags. Me too. That's, that was like a little bit of when I was like kind of getting back into sweet green. And I really liked that Devin Booker bowl. He, he's got good taste.

And so that, that kind of like kicked things off. Or I was like, Oh, the bowls, the salads are good, but the salad is such like a dry experience. I think it's like, that's why you need the two, that's why you need the two, that's why I put on three different liquids. Cause I, cause it's just so, it's so much, so many greens. Yes, I agree. I thought you were talking about three, you have three containers of two different dressings. And that feels within reason to me. When you were first saying three, I was picturing like, you know, like three disparate dressings, like, like when you have two songs playing at the same time and it hurts you a headache. Yeah. No, I'm not, look, I would maybe do a

third dressing. I mean, like, I'm a dressing man. That's why I like salads, obviously, but I like frosting a lot, but really? I'm not a huge, I'm not a huge frosting person, but I like the cake more than I like the frosting. But we talked about this on Nothing Bundt Cakes, which they just had too much, too much frosting on, on, on those Bundt Cakes. One might, one might say. There shouldn't be frosting on a Bundt cake. It's icing. Yeah. Well, icing, icing rather. I guess I don't know. I don't quite get the distinction. It was a textural thing. Yeah. Yeah. Too much, too much icing. Oonga Pachka, one might say. Oh my, oh my God. Speaking of, am I, I texted Weigur about this right away, but Mitch, we have, I have not told you. I was in

Austin, Texas for a comedy festival and I went up to the bar to order a drink and the bartender said, Oonga Pachka. And I was like, how the fuck did you know that? I barely opened, I barely opened my mouth. It was incredible. It was really, really incredible. Wow. Our freaky listeners are everywhere. That's fucking wild. You gifted me Oonga Pachka and I somewhat argue my usage of Oonga Pachka in the time since you taught me that vocabulary word. It has itself become Oonga Pachka because I try to cram it in at every opportunity, but it's a great word. No, it's worth it at the live shows when people cheer when you say Oonga Pachka. We like it. Do they do it to the Ooga Chaka? I feel like that would be great for you guys. Oonga Pachka. Oonga. That would be great.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that would be it. Yeah. A whole bunch of wives and girlfriends walking out. And they're like, no, stay honey. It's a Ali McBeal thing. All the wives and girlfriends fucking smoke shows, just fucking runway models. So this is what comes in the chicken tostada bowl. Yeah. We got the quinoa, we got the baby spinach, cilantro, I added spicy broccoli, tomatoes, tortilla chips, carrots, I removed goat cheese, I add shaved parmesan, blackened chicken, and then the lime cilantro jalapeno dressing in the hot sauce. It's a good bowl. I mean, like, is quinoa worth it for the calories it adds? I don't know. I don't know what a good, there's probably better bases here than the quinoa, and I haven't experimented

too much. Again, I've only kind of became a fan recently with that, with the Devin Booker thing. But a good, like a decently healthy good bowl, wives. I think quinoa, I'm looking to the nutrition information right now. It is a little carb heavy, but it's also got a lot of dietary fiber to offset it and a good amount of protein. So I honestly feel like it's like, no one's getting, if you're actively trying to cut a lot of weight, then maybe you want to avoid a quinoa, but I'm honestly like, you can remove the tortilla chips from this too, if you wanted. I've gotten a little bit more pragmatic with my nutrition, partly because I've been talking with a dietitian and meeting with her a couple times a month,

and I'm just like, oh, which fruits are better? Which nuts are better? And she's like, if you're eating fruits and nuts, don't stress about it. Don't stress about it. You're having cherries versus apples versus bananas versus raspberries or whatever. It's just like you're eating that instead of something that would be unhealthy. So don't strive for progress, not perfection. So I don't think quinoa is the end of the world. In my salad, apologies to Maison for there is no golden raisin. My salad is golden. My salad is golden raisin free. I didn't have a singular golden raisin in it. But this salad right here is like, for me, it's not the most fun thing to order. But I'm like,

this is healthy enough, like you were saying, like your dietitian, where I'm like, this tastes good enough and it's healthy enough that this kind of feels like a guilt-free delivery. And it beats the alternative. It beats whatever else I would have been doing. 100%. Because you're getting this food in a hurry. So what are you going to get instead? You're going to get Wendy's? Yeah. And I can just see myself eating it in a writer's room too. It's on the table next to all the other lunches. I'm going in and picking it up. Maison's in a bad mood because there's no golden raisins. He's trying to break stores for Chernobyl season two. He's pissed off. Well, what do you think? The reactor blows again?

I don't know. I think that, look, I go to sweet green with some frequency. There's one I can walk to and so that feels like a healthy lunch break. I go walk to the sweet green, I dine in, and their app is great. Their app is not crap, but also just their in-person ordering is very efficient and I don't like to customize. I'm a default guy. If they have a prefab salad, that's great. Give me that. And I got something that I don't normally get, which is I got one of their plates. This is a new thing they're testing out, the hot honey chicken plate. This comes with quinoa. Also has a kale cabbage slaw, sweet potatoes, honey sauce, hot honey sauce, and toasted almonds and blackened chicken. This is the thing, although they say it's a plate,

it's just the components you would get in a bowl, so I ended up just mixing it up and eating it like a salad anyway. It feels like mostly a marketing ploy, but really tasty. I liked all their individual components. I liked that little bit of crunch you get from the toasted almonds. I like their blackened chicken quite a bit and I think their hot honey sauce is solid. It's not overly sweet. Could use a little bit more heat, but before we were recording, you were talking about some, so you had a hot honey POV. I feel that hot honey is like, I should have thought this through a little bit. It feels so trendy. Doesn't hot honey feel like every once in a while, we just all get real hard for some new condiment. It's hot honey. Wow. It's everywhere. It's

everything. Here's my thing with sweet green. Having just eaten it pretty quickly is that it feels like doing homework. It's not bad. It's clearly not bad for you, I don't think, but it feels redemptive and then you'll go eat something extra bad to balance out the pain you felt. Does that make sense? I feel crazy today. I just feel like- 100% no. It's like volunteer or whatever, so it feels like it's like the worst take in the world. Saying it's like homework is pretty perfect. It does feel a lot like homework. It's like the FedEx kinkos that you eat at. It's like there's something about it. It's not that I think like, yeah, what were you going to say, Mitch?

I had Domino's the night before, so it was like an offsetter to me in my mind. I'm with you that I just will want something awful after. If I eat sweet greens like four nights out of the week, I'm going to want the f**king, the greasiest, sloppiest food after that. There's something in it. You're going like, I was good. I was good yesterday. That's the sort of swing of this that I don't love. I feel like, yeah, like you clock in your hours at sweet green, so you can go like eat wings in the dark somewhere. Sounds like the f**king perfect restaurant to me. I mean, that is basically rustic, right, is eating wings in the dark. I don't know if you've ever been there, but that basically is like a dark bar where you can eat wings basically in the dark,

and that is one of my favorites. Buffalo Wild Wings, lighting is too good. Lighting is too good. It should be a little darker, a little dingier. That's why I think this plate thing, I feel like that's like what the plates are all about, is like, hey, this is like an in-between. So when you mix it all up, did it taste like you were eating a salad or was it like more like a bowl, like a protein with quinoa bowl? It's the same components as a salad. You know what I compare it to? It's like, you ever get a Jersey Mike's sub in a tub, and it's like, okay. A tub or my tub? Okay. A hot tub? Okay.

Jersey Mike's has a menu option, which is like their low carb, no bread version of a sandwich, but it's just all the stuff you would put in a sandwich without the bun instead of just in a bowl. This is the same thing. It's the same stuff that you would have in a salad. It's a range differently. The components are separated, so they're kind of demarcated, like here's the chicken section, here's the quinoa section, and so if you present it as a bowl instead of as a tray, yeah, there were, I mean, there's a kale cabbage slaw, so there's like a little bit of a, I guess there's less greens proportionally, but it's fundamentally just a bowl with different ratios. So I think it's, I mean, I started eating it individually, but like as I went,

it was just easier to mix it up like a Chipotle order. It's the same sort of thing. Anyway, Emma, me rather, Emmy, I'm curious about your bowl, what you ended up eating, and then we should talk sides a little bit, because I did get some sides. I didn't get to say that. I hang on. I'm going to grab the, there was a receipt. Emmy is stepping away. Wise, what do you think of the bolification of America? We've really, we've really, we've really become a bowl country. We've become a nation of bowls.

Emmy, I don't know how you feel about this. I'm saying there's been a big bolification that's what bowls are. They're sandwiches for cowards. That's what a bowl is. I don't, I don't mind the bolification, but when Weger was talking about it being like in different components, it made me realize that you should also have the option to get the components in a stack, like a deck of cards or something. Like keep the sandwich, give me a stack of inside sandwich with no, like it should still be hold like a brick shape, even if there's no bread. I agree. I'm just spitballing. I mean, I'm a person that's like, our sandwich is that bad for us, for God's sakes. What, what, what, what, I mean, like, what,

sandwiches are that bad? We can't eat to the two slices of bread. I mean, I had a slice of bread anyways, but like a fucking sandwich, like sandwiches are poo pooed. They're too much. I kind of get that. I don't think that, that, look, we've also had sandwich creep, like, like, like, like breads have gotten a bulkier and sandwiches have gotten larger, right? So like, it's very different from when I'd make like a sandwich for myself and I'd have like two slices of wheat bread. That's very different from getting a sub role. And especially like, sandwich creep. Yeah, sandwich creep. Likely, they've been creeping and creeping in size increase over time. Sounds like an old nickname of yours that you're just bringing up casually.

Oh, great. Sandwich creep is here. Hey, buddy. Eating a sandwich. Sandwich spread, maybe? Like, sure. I'm thinking of power creep from or feature creep from software or game development, where it's just like, you keep adding more and more stuff over time. And it's, I feel like that's been happening with sandwiches. They've just like, gotten bigger and bigger, bulkier and bulkier. But, but I'll say this, the, I don't think it's that bad, but I think like as an everyday lunch, that's the thing. It's like, if you're having like a,

like a subway sandwich or a Jersey Mike sandwich every day for lunch, then that starts to add up. But if you're doing it once a week as a treat, sure. I get that. I get that. I get that. It's like you guys were saying earlier, you got, you got to kind of earn the indulgences, you know? A regular Jersey Mike sandwich isn't even that big. Let's be real. It's not crazy big. What is it? 10 inches, eight inches? It's decently sized. It depends on the weather, right guys? Okay. If the water's cold. Well, in that case, Jersey Mike sandwiches are gigantic. Here's what was in my bowl, which was probably a plate. I do think bowl and plate are nearly

meaningless terms at this, at this business. There was a crispy rice bowl that had a base of arugula and wild rice, and then crispy rice, and then cucumber, carrots, cabbage, cilantro, a half of a lime, and it says, oh, spicy cashew dressing, blackened chicken, and almonds. And you definitely eat it really fast. Like you definitely just have to keep... My review is that was too fast. I did feel like I needed a bigger utensil. A shovel would be the right... It felt like the slaw for a sandwich I didn't have. Does that make sense? Yes, I get it. Yeah, I'd say it's...

I knew I was going to need to order a different lunch after this. This is getting a second lunch. This isn't fair. You're not a part of it, okay? We need to... First of all, we should keep rolling on this. We demand to be a part of the second lunch, but also... You're not invited to Emmy's dark wing room, okay? It is partially our fault that you were eating the salad.

You got the salad during the break, and then you were eating it, and Nick and I were chanting faster and faster at you as you ate it. I think it's these hazing rituals that are repelling guests from the show. I do feel like even if I'd had a long time to sit with my salad, there's something about this meal that you just want to get over with. There's something about these salads where you're like... You just want to rip off the Band-Aid a little bit. Yeah. Like I said, they're really unfurl, so they are hard to get through. Wally's been crying. I put him in a room. Wally's crying. I'm going to let him out,

Wags. I'm just going to go let him out. It's going to be 30 seconds, but keep talking. I'll be right back. I'm coming for you, Wally. Mitch is launching a rescue mission for a stranded cat. Wally's very cute. Here's what I'll say. I largely agree with you. This isn't a plate like... Oh, I'm going to treat myself when we get sweet green, but I think I have sweet green enough where I'm like, I don't dread it. In fact, there are certain menu items I kind of enjoy, and Natalie's the same way. Natalie also loves to customize. I'm a default man, but Natalie will just... She'll always do a create your own and just like every single

component, she'll declare exactly what she wants, so she's very, very specific. And from that standpoint, this place is perfect. Wally is entering frame, Mitch is cradling her like a baby. It's great for control freaks. Oh, there it is. Great for control freaks. The thing I regret thinking about, hi, Wally. Oh. Hello, Wally. Good boy. Good boy. He's here. Oh. He calmed down a little bit. He's calmed down. I got to put him back in the room later, but he was crying. He was crying. I don't know. You could probably pick it up in the audio. He probably was... Do you think he could hear the podcast? He was crying because it sucks. I mean, it's possible. Yeah.

Oh, man. I wish I had ordered hard boiled egg as part of the salad because that's one of my guttural associations with these salad places is like a really washed out looking hard boiled egg. We're like, you cut it open and it's like a foggy day. Like a Manchester by the sea egg. I was surprised to see the cob on there. There was a caesar and a cob that both kind of caught my eye and I would go back there. But this is... Look, sweet green is the place I choose last because I would rather do... I would rather do tender green even though they've definitely have kind of fallen a bit. And I wish that... I don't understand that people think that sweet

green tastes better than tender green. I actually don't get it. I think if you're getting a salad, that's the thing. If you're getting a plate from tender greens, yes, you can get... They have better proteins and you can get yourself some mashed potatoes, which are a nice indulgence. Them taters are real good. Would you can't get anything similar at sweet green? But if you're just having a bowl, I'll take a sweet green guacamole greens bowl over the fresh seasonal salad or whatever they've got. They've got a chipotle barbecue salad at tender greens. I think the sweet green is a better execution of it. I like that chipotle barbecue salad at tender greens. I'm a big fan of that, but you're right

that, hey, look, the bolification of the world, sweet green is the place that had the quinoa and wild rice on the bottom and tender greens hadn't done that yet. And I think tender greens is trying to do that now. But of all these places that... Sweet green, I maybe want to do the least. Maybe because Emi is saying it feels like homework. It's the one I want to do who last. But I also think that it's... I like it more now and I think... I'm all over the place. This place has got me all turned upside down. I really don't even know what to think. Yeah, I'll admit my bias is that I think they're all the same. I think it's fair. It's... Yeah. And I also... Emma and I were sort of shooting the shit about this, maybe pre-recording

about the health code violations that come up at these places where it's like, whoops, there's a whole mouse in your lettuce. When they go gross, it's like in a big way. It's like full contamination. I've not had any issues like that with sweet green ever, but I know that that comes up with these places. Weigher knows that I got... In one of my salads, I got a rolled up paper towel. That was not at sweet green though, right? It was not at sweet green. Yeah. There's a place in my neighborhood that does a salad bar and one of our friends kept getting staples in the salad bar. Jesus Christ.

So we've been calling the place staples. That's just a joke. That's just a little joke for the neighborhood. That's fucking... That's horrifying. I mean... I got a dead bee in an airport salad. That was a weird one. A dead bee. Yeah, dead bee, yeah. This is why you do have to get it finely chopped so that you never know. Yeah, you'll never know if it's a cut up bee. My rolled up paper towel, I thought was chicken, and I was like, it's hard to cut through, and I did put it in my mouth thinking it was chicken. And it was clearly like the paper towel that they were using to wipe down the counter, I think,

for me. You could have died. It was bad. And it looked like shit. And you know what? It was... The place you said you liked better than this place. The place I have bleeped out multiple times during this exact story. I can leave this one unbleaped. Do we just tell it finally? I don't think you're saying anything libelous. You're saying what happened. You're telling a story of what happened to you at a particular... But then I also kind of liked the story. I want them to be like... I want them to go back to the days of old, because I thought it was good, but it might just be over.

Those dating down forever. I heard they do a great toilet paper bowl at the airport. Let's talk sides a little bit. I think the... So I got the Pesto Summer Veggies. I never get the sides there. I don't think they... I don't feel like you need the sides, because the bowl is so much food. But I tried them for the purpose of this podcast. My Pesto Summer Veggies was oops all squash. It was 100% squash. There was nothing else going on. There was one green squash and everything else was a yellow squash. And it had a little pesto dip in sauce. Here's the bizarre thing about this. Ice cold. I don't mean, hey, this has been sitting out and it was like room temp. No, this had come out of the fridge. It was weirdly cold. It was like if you

sometimes go to a Thai restaurant and they give you a bunch of raw vegetables on ice to kind of mitigate the spicy food that you have. You don't encounter that in some places. It was like that. It was like cold squash. And I was like, this is fucking weird. It's hard for me to even get a sense of the Pesto is pretty good, but it's hard for me to even drill down the flavor, because I was just so confused as to why this would serve cold. Yeah, that is cold Pesto. It does sound almost, almost cool. And also nasty. I feel like you must have just gotten like someone hadn't ordered it in a while and it was in their little side fridge or something. They may have forgotten to warm it

up or something. Yeah, it was strange. Emmy, you got it. Did you get yourself a side? Yeah, as a side, I had a roll of bounty selector size with hot honey on it. I'll never stop thinking about eating a paper towel. It is really bad. See, that's why I wanted to, I think we might have to bleep it again. I think we might bleep it again. We'll keep in all the clues. Yes. I once got a toilet seat cover in my tail and heart. Do you think they gave it to you, Mitch, as like a little Easter egg? Because they thought they were, you were the brawny paper towel mascot. I like this.

I will say that at that restaurant, they do wipe down the counter, like they wipe down the counter. I'm not saying, I'm not giving an excuse for it, but like they chop the meat and they wipe down the counter and that's exactly like, I'm so sure that's what happened. It also did just truly look like trash, right? I was like, is this just like trash? Like it looks shitty already. You've got to try the wet washcloth at Saladworks. It looked like shit and also there was a paper towel in it. It was bad. That's rough. It's like, you could, it's probably a lawsuit if you want it to be. I will say that this is now a couple of years ago, right? Why is that this happened?

More than a couple of years ago. And I think that they've gotten better again. Like, look, I still do enjoy this place more than, like I'll get this place more regularly than I'll get sweet cream for real. Paper towel place. Yes. So, okay. My side was, my side was kind of a bummer. It's kind of a whiff. I mean, it was so strange that it was cold. Did you get like a, I felt like you got a sweet potatoes or something. Am I wrong?

Yeah, I got the sweet potatoes with Clorox wipes. It was, it was the sweet potatoes with green goddess ranch, which is also something I want to talk about because that feels like the epitome of like, do the words green and goddess, are they there to counteract the, like the, the badness of ranch? Do you feel like those words are there so you don't notice its ranch? Well, what green goddess dressing is its own thing. So yeah, I feel like this place is like, so, so like, like now the point is that this place does not have any like bacon or anything. Like they don't have any sort of red meat, which I think is partly a sustainability thing,

but it's also like this place is so health conscious that it's not like you'll just get like a big, you know, sometimes these salad places be like, Hey, let me just get a big fistful of shredded cheddar cheese. There really isn't the equivalent here. And I think it's probably a similar sort of thing. Like they don't want to have just like a straight up like buttermilk ranch, even though that would be good because it's just a little too unhealthy. So I think what you're saying is correct. I think you're absolutely right. I think the green goddess ranch is there to mitigate. That was a long way away of saying what you just said. Yeah, it's a it's a virtue signaling ranch.

Trying to find earlier when I was googling this, I found an entry in the urban dictionary that I hadn't heard of before called a dirty salad bar, which is when you dry your face with the same towel a friend uses to vigorously rub his pubic hair. Jesus Christ gross. We gotta try this on tour. We don't have to try that on tour. Anyway, we're gonna see if it's real. The sweet potatoes were fine, by the way, they were like, they were fine. They were fine. They were like roasted, but not in the way where like all the outside of it is roasted. Like some,

it's like squishy. It's a squishy side, minimal chewing. Yeah, I think that's how I felt. Well, I just, I think there's sides, there's no reason for these to be on the menu. They get that they're trying to test some stuff out, but why do you ever need a side from here? The bowl is more than enough food and it's not like the sides are any sort of treat. They're just like some of the components that you'd have in one of the bowls just on their own with some different sauce. Yeah. Those potatoes would have been useful on a salad, maybe, or the squash on a salad to like wetten it. Oh, disgusting. I'm sorry. That said, there was an item that was available at this location. They have not seen other locations.

A crispy rice treat. This was unbelievable. This was so fucking good. This might be the single best thing I've ever had from a sweet green. It's so fucking good. It's maybe the best rice crispy treat I've ever had. Wow. It's just like a delicious fast food dessert. I could not believe how good it is. It has like a, we were talking hot honey. It's not a hot honey, but it has sort of like a honey brown sugar character to it. The texture was great. It kind of melted in your mouth as you were eating it. It was just like, it was such an indulgence because it was just, you know, it's just basically like a sweet treat, which this place usually does not have at all. So I was surprised to see it there, but like eating it, I was like,

this is fucking great. And this alone would motivate me to go to sweet green. It's like, I can get myself a bowl plus this rice crispy treat and feel good about myself. It was really out of this world. Remember when rice crispy treats came out with the pack? Yes. I think I was maybe in middle school or something. I wasn't in elementary. It was like a little bit later, but I think maybe middle school and it was, I was just, they were so, they were so great. I also had the best rice crispy treat I've ever had on set of twisted metal wigs. Wow. The, the, the, the, the food, which people know, like the people, look, Emmy and you and I, we know that like a lot of the times like the, the, the craft service

stuff on, on set is, it cannot be great. Yes. It's a champagne problem. You're getting free food as part of your union contract. But, but so, but sometimes yeah, it's just raw sustenance. Other times it's, it's not particular or usually it's not, not very good. Let me tell you though, down in New Orleans, the food has been fucking in a bad way. It's been fucking fantastic. Yeah. Like every day, and then there's just like great bread puddings every day and, and rice crispy treats. Like just like the food has just, has been really, really, really good. All the catering has been, has been, has been, has been good. And I had, yeah, my best rice crispy treat. I wish that that was an option. I would have gotten it when, when I ordered it,

but I didn't see that as an option in my, in my sweet green. So yeah, I didn't see it either here. And I also just want to say, I think one of the best, most underrated things is when you have a rice crispy treat, but it's made with a different cereal, like a cinnamon toast crunch or a fruit loop, or even like a lucky charms. I find that completely thrilling. Absolute blast. There's maybe some marshmallows in there too. I'm just like, Oh, that's colorful. That's fun. Yeah, I totally agree with you. You have a lucky charms ones I've had. I feel like I've had a captain crunch one that kind of worked. Totally agree with you. The sweet green one, was it, what was the shape, what were the dimensions?

It was like a Borg cube. It was like a perfect cube. And it, it was a, it was not particularly big. It was like, you know, probably two inches cubed. It was a, you know, just, just two inches on every side. So it was, it was pretty, it was pretty modest, but it was a, and it was a little browner than a typical, like a little bit more tan than the typical rice Krispies treat. I think it was, it was made with brown rice. Mine was a cinnamon rice Krispie treat. It was really great. Look, we could talk rice Krispies treats all day. We have to wrap up the restaurant. Yeah, I know. We got to get to our final thoughts for God's sakes. What the hell are you doing? Why are you getting mad at me now? Because you know what, you're usually,

you're usually the guy who's, who's keeping things on track. And you know what? I have been. Emma ordered my salad. Emma is perfect. I agree. That's right. That's right. Oh, and speaking of, by the way. Oh shit. Go ahead, Amy. Sorry. I'm sorry. I was going to say the best part of my salad was the crispy rice. And so I wonder if maybe that's their forte. Could be. Yeah. I do think their bowls are more fun than their salad. Maybe they just have good rice at this place. I think they do have good rice at this place. Well, look, we eat rice. It's time, it's time to get to our final thoughts. Yes. And what that means is that we're going to review these restaurants from zero to five forks. And me as our guests, you can go

first. What were your final thoughts? Wow. Look at that, Nick. I did what you did. I think, okay. I think this one has to be kind of rated within its category, right? I feel like if I rate it in the grand scheme of food, it will feel harsh. But in the grand scheme of salad places, I'll give it a 3.5 to a, yeah, 3.5 feels about right. Three forks, two tines. Good score. Three forks, two tines. Yes. Thank you. Three forks. Thank you, Wags. Two tongs. You can do what you want. The fork translator. That is Wags. Wags for me, like I said, there's, I still like other, like I would rather get a Chipotle bowl still. Give me a bowl from Chipotle. I mean, obviously that's more fun and less healthy.

But like, give me that Chipotle bowl. Give me tender greens. Like, but I, but I've grown to like sweet green more because it's healthy enough. And if you make the right choices, it can be pretty good. And it just is an app, which is like works for and against it, that it's like, the app is so good, but it also just makes this place feel cold and kind of soulless. And like, they're going to have like robots making your, your, your meal. I'm like, I don't know. And also like, there is a, there is a part to it that I'm like, writer's room, like this place too much. And it caters towards like the raisin loving, the Maison raisin loving crowd. It caters towards when I, Wags, when I used to work at

Simpsons, I go to a place called Clementine, which I loved. I love Clementine, but the crowd for Clementine was like so like Beverly Hills-ish and kind of annoying. And I'm like, they would love green goddess ranch dressing. Like I feel like that's like the type of bullshit that they fucking loved, you know? And, and there's a bit of that there, but also it is healthy. And I can make a salad that tastes pretty good and not feel guilty about it. And then, you know, two days later, I'm going to be eating a fucking, a fucking foot long steak and cheese to fuck, to offset it. Right. Because there is, there is also something with this place where if you eat like, if I'm eating tender greens over the course,

this is, Carl Tartt said this, like he was like, I'm sick of fucking sweet green. I get in sweet green every day. And I'm like, if I got sweet green every day in the writer's room, I would, I would want to do something else. I would want to do something like horrible and sludgy. I'd want to eat some, I would, I would want to drink butter and oil, like our guests want us to. So I'd want some godless ranch. Give me that godless ranch. I mean, godless ranch tastes fucking delicious. I don't know if I can put it into the golden play club yet, but I feel like it's so like I was thinking maybe four forks, which I think would be okay. Also it's out anyways because of, because of ME. So maybe I just, but there's also something that doesn't feel right

about giving it four forks. Do you know what I'm saying? I agree. I agree with you, Mitch. It's just a 3.75 forks, Wags. That's what I'm going to go with three forks three times. I can't go all the way. I look, I think both of your cases are well argued. Also, Mitch, I think you've gone Hollywood. What the hell? I think you're Hollywood Mike Mitchell. What the fuck is that? All this fixation on writer's rooms and on set food. You've gone Hollywood. I'm saying I don't like that shit. It's your world now. It's all you know. I'm an actor. You're obsessed with it. I'm an actor. I'm, I'm bringing life experiences to stage. That's what I do. Tonight on Boston Garbage. It would be a good show. I'd watch Boston Garbage. Me and the guy who like likes to go

through the garbage. That was the other guy who I worked with. He liked to let, he likes, he likes like looking through the garbage. That sounds great. Did he ever find, he must have found something good to keep doing it. He would take stuff home occasionally. There was like a picture he found that he brought home. There was also like he found like staying at home to hang up in his jack shack. I mean, it was funny that he did found like, he found like a deal, like, like a thing that a dildo came in. It was like the casing to like a dildo. Right. And he's like, look at this. And I was like, Jesus. Strange man. Yeah. He's like, oh, I've been, I had needed somewhere to put my dildo. This is also, I wore, so we'd collected trash along Wallace and beach

and then we also collected it on, in, in Southie. We went along Southie and then the L street beach there, which ends at Sullivan's at Castle. So it ends at this like hot dog in hamburger place, which we would take their trash, even though this was, this was the city garbage. It was like the, it was like the parks department. So like we would take their garbage, even though we weren't supposed to, and they would give us free burgers and dogs, which is pretty great. It's Sullivan's in Castle Island. And so, but I wore shorts the first day and I was taking stuff out of the trash on the beach in Southie. And I had like a plastic bag. I was just pulling the bag trash out and the bag hit my leg and cut me. And the guy was like, you need to wear pants.

Like there's needles, like people throw needles in the trash all the time. So I was then terrified that I had gotten jabbed with a, with a needle. Anyways, that was, that was the, the terrifying side of it. That's your, your origin story. I got soup the next day. I was super strong. Mitch, Mitch is like the Hulk, except he just gets angry. Jesus Christ. Shut the, look, and also I got to say this. I went into a dump and that, and that was like a fascinating thing to see was like a gigantic dump in Boston. Like we went in, like we would take the trash to a, like to the dump, but like it's like, there's like, all the paper towels you can eat. I mean, it was crazy. Like I would get out to unlatch the back of the garbage truck.

And there were just like rats and mice running around. And also it like was so overwhelmingly smelled so bad. And it was just like, it was like an airplane hanger. Like it was gigantically huge. And like tractors were just like pushing piles of garbage into giant piles of garbage. It was, it was really wild. So a fun, a fun summer job. Why? It sucked too. I'm fascinated by that insight into the infrastructure of, of urban living. Like just like that, that, that is just, you know, the where, where garbage goes, how the people and God, God bless sanitation workers, everyone who does that. It's obviously such a, one of the more essential of the essential jobs. But like this is, that was going to say, Mitch, was the guy who

digs through the garbage, I would be so worried about sharps. And I'm amazed that he himself did not. Sharks, sharps, sharps. No, not sharks. It's sharp weep, everyone. You got to be careful of garbage sharks too. I, I, wise the, the dump was kind of like a big bowl. It was kind of like a giant, it was to, to bring it back to sweet green. It was just like a giant bowl of, of garbage in there. And I think that you were right to be a, I wore jeans from there on out and boots and everything. And, and, and it was never an issue. And also was like aware and, you know, that was my first day that that happened. But got jabbed on my first day, but being aware of sharps is very, is, is a good move.

Got to be careful. I'll say, because also people will throw away anything. They'll just put, Yeah, don't throw your needles in the tray. I mean, I think people who like, you know, have to, you know, like take them, they usually dispose of their needles and, and, and the right receptacles. But, you know, yeah, sometimes people throw them in the trash. When we first reviewed, I think both of your points are well argued. And I, I do think that Emmy is correct that you have to, and it looks like a thesis of this podcast. How was this place succeeding at what he's trying to do? I think this place is trying to be a, you can even tell by its hours. A lot of these, these locations close pretty, you know, relatively

early by chain restaurant standards. They close at 8pm. And so this is a lunch focus place. This is a place for people have a job that they take a break from. And you know what, maybe it's okay if the lunch isn't, isn't a treat. Maybe it's okay if lunch today is something that I'll feel good about myself for eating. And I won't destroy my, my gastrointestinal tract for the, the back end of my shift. So I think that's its value. Yeah. When we first reviewed this chain, very early on in the podcast, there were 40 locations. Now there are 160 locations. So they've quadrupled in size. And I don't feel like they've fallen off any. I feel like the, the, the, the level is pretty steady. I will, I'll say you're right. Yeah.

And I think the app is not crap. I think that if you, you know, they are obviously trying to mechanize their, their labor there. But if you order in person, the, the workers are by and large very friendly. And I think they do an excellent job of mixing up your salad and, and preparing it to your specifications. I think that that is just like a, it's a pretty eco-friendly chain. And I don't mind eating it. In fact, sometimes I kind of like it to be completely honest. So I, I'm going to, I'm going to go high on this place. I'm saying four forks two times. I think, I think for what this place is trying to do, I think it's doing it pretty damn well. I could have gone for, but I'm, I'm with, I mean, I mean, honestly going into today,

I was thinking for, and then when we were talking about the place, I'm like, yeah, it also kind of just sucks. And I can't give myself, it doesn't suck. It just is, it feels like homework. And it's hard to give a place that feels like homework for forks. And like the rice crispy treat and is the best thing. Like that, and that speaks volume about this salad place. That's a great point. That's a great point. That's a great point. That's a great point. But you know, it's, I like homework. Teacher, you forgot to assign homework. Jesus Christ. Dear God, this is fucking. I'm glad you're here just dancing on the grave of the Choco Taco. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more dough boys.

Mitch, when someone is just exceptionally good at what they do, it could be a waiter, a chef, a doctor, a podcaster, a podcaster, you know, you're in good hands. It's like seeing a waiter balance five trays of sizzling fajitas on one arm, or a chef running a kitchen so well that even a professional food podcaster would be left speechless. You're confident in them. And when you find the right doctor, you can feel it. You feel heard and at ease. On ZocDoc, finding the doctor that's right for you is seamless. The quality care you need is just a few taps away in the ZocDoc app. ZocDoc is the only free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient-reviewed,

take your insurance, are available when you need them and treat almost every condition under the sun. Surprise twists might work for podcast wigs, like having two winners for the Munch Madness tournament, but maybe not for medical care. With ZocDoc, there are no alarms and no surprises. Choose from thousands of patient-reviewed doctors and specialists, browse doctor profiles, upload and verify your insurance information, and get the care you need. Welcome back to Doe Boys. There's Bubba as Wally joins the frame. Don't give my cat nicknames out to the... I don't want people to know my cat nicknames. All right, we'll all retake this.

I've told them before. Bubba and the baby. I call her the baby. Also with us, Emmie Blotnick, our guest. And hey, it's time for a segment. I've got a food-related survey. And Mitch and Emmie will compete to guess the results. Let's play the family food. As we hear the theme song, the Richard Carnot era family feud theme. So here's how this works. Family feud rules. Whoever gets the most correct without collecting three strikes will win. I'll be keeping score. And your category. From Statista, this is the most popular salad dressings in America.

I'll give you the specific phrasing of the question that was asked. Which flavors of prepared salad dressing do you use most often? So prepared salad dressing, and this was asked of the U.S. population. Top six answers are on the board. Emmie, you're our guest. You can go first. I'm going to go ranch. Yeah, show me ranch. Show me ranch. Show me ranch? I was thinking answer. And so I said,

ranch as part of answer, because ranch is a correct answer. Number one on the board. Wow, it's the number one rancher. Anch is the rancher. Wow. Yes, you know, I was thinking about Choco Tacos and I was like, I used to love them as a kid. I was like, but I didn't remember that they were like at like 7-Eleven a lot. And then I found out that Choco Tacos were an ice cream truck product first. And so that made a lot of sense to me because like when I was playing baseball and stuff, I would get a Choco Taco just to give

a little shout out in history to the Choco Taco there. I remember the, what I remember about the Choco Taco, and we should all be sharing our thoughts with Choco Taco on this Saturday, our memories of Choco Taco, what I remember about the Choco Taco is it was like the premium item at the ice cream truck. Like it was like, it was like for 50 cents, you could get like a popsicle, but if you had a $1.25, you could treat yourself to the Choco Taco. It was like the most expensive one. Now, these days with Biden's inflation, it probably, you probably need to break a 20 to get yourself a Choco Taco from a truck. I don't know how much they cost me more.

Wise, you can't even find them in writer's room. Hollywood Mitch thinks that's ridiculous. I didn't think of them as the premium, but maybe they were like a book 50 or something. I didn't realize that. They're usually more expensive than other stuff. Like you get like a big stick. I would always get the big stick, which was the big popsicle. Yeah, of course you would. You got two big sticks that day. Christ. Relative to an ice cream truck, I think a Choco Taco is an entree. Like I feel like it's you could have a rocket pop to start and then finish with a Choco Taco. Oh man, rocket pops are fun.

Yeah. Wise, you hit on another thing too. Is that these restaurants that close at 8 p.m., it is maybe because it's Biden's bedtime. Everything closes so fucking early now. We haven't gotten, the world hasn't fully recovered yet. So it is funny. I was saying this recently. It's like, there are no late night, there's like one late night fast food place and then so much late night food in LA, which has always been kind of bad with it, but it's gotten even worse since pandemic times. It's been really bad. I know New York is like great with late night food, but I don't know if they've come all the way back

either. No, I would say no, but there are still like, we have a 24 hour diner that just never stopped being that and like a handful of places where if it's, you know, three in the morning, you find a deli that's named loosely after something 9-11 related and. Ren is easy's place. There are a lot of delis in New York that are called like, united we stand or like God bless deli or like the, I guess God bless isn't really 9-11 focused. This is a weird, this is a weird filter I've put on delis. Building 7-11.

Here's what I'll say. I agree that there's kind of a paucity of late night options, especially these days in the city of angels. I think a lot of times you're defaulting to like, for me, I just like, hey, in an outburger or Del Taco, because I know those drive-thrus will at least be open if I need to get something really late at night. Have fun spending a fucking hour in the Del Taco if it's 2am. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, that can be a slow crawl. But what do you say besides Del Taco? Do you say in and out? In and outburger can also be. That closes early. That's like relatively early. We have until like one. That's way too late for me. I feel like it's like midnight or I'm talking late night. I'm talking 1am, 2am, 3am.

You keep different hours than me. And so you need something that's open at like 4am. But I mean the fact that New York is affected too, because New York, I felt like you could go get like a full sit-down meal at like 4am and you had multiple options. And I feel like since I've been back in New York, it hasn't felt the same yet, but maybe, I don't know. I mean, you would know more, but it sounds like it's good. I agree. It's like dampened for a minute, but I have weird optimism that it's all coming back. And you know, there will be enough late night options to knock Joe Biden right off his bike, right guys? Where am I? What's my job? He immediately just falls asleep when he falls off the bike.

Here's where I was going to, the point I was going to finish. Yes, there are, and there aren't as many like sit-down diners. A lot of delis have closed in LA. Like I think the only, you know, DuPars, who I think we talked about a previous one, used to be open late, and now I think it closes at like eight, the year or 10. So some delis have permanently closed, some famous delis have permanently closed. Cantors is really the only one I think is still open close to 24 hours, though even they, they, I think, close down at like three. They don't have to sit down 24 hours right now. At least, I don't think that they do. Yeah, it's crazy. So, you know, but what you'll find in LA, which is nice, is taco trucks. And they'll just be like truck setup places. So that

will oftentimes be good. But why even those are affected? Cactus used to be open till four in the morning and cactus closes at like two. Well, yeah, but I mean, like I'm talking about like a truck. I'm talking about a truck for somewhere, like at a gas station or something. Those will oftentimes be there as a late night option. Anyway, let's get back in the family. You're in bed before Biden. Italian? Oh, no, that was, first of all, it's my guess. And also, I know how I have a, I know that I have a bit of a history with this guess, but I am going with what Emmy said, Italians. Show me Italian. Italian's dressing. I was gonna guess that anyways, Emmy. As we hear the- I believe you. The good answer sound effect from the

Super Nintendo version of Family Feud. That is a, yeah, I'll give it to you. Creamy Italian is actually what's on the board. I feel like Steve Harvey would flip that over for you. But Creamy Italian is number six. Creamy Italian, first of all, hold on a second. That is such bullshit. I love Creamy Italian and you can't get it anywhere and you can only get Italian. So that seems insane to me. Like, I love Creamy Italian. Creamy Italian may be my favorite, my favorite dressing. I love Creamy Italian. Creamy Italian. Is that an album song you're singing? That was, I was going for Cry Me a River, but- Oh, that's great. Fuck, that's good. All right, Emmy, back to you. I liked that part of the song where it was kind of like- Yeah, that part's good. You're not talking

about it. Yeah. I like the part where Timbaland, it's Timbaland, right? Has a little wrap-like section. Yeah, I mean- Damages. Oh, salad is done. So I guess I'll be eaten. Oh, the salad is tossed. So there you go. That's my punch out. There you go. That's good. All right, it might be the, here's what, why maybe Creamy Italian goes, I mean, this is a recent survey. So maybe Creamy Italian's popularity has surged in recent years as people have become more, you know, creamier. I think Americans are creaming. Everyone's creaming. I have met a few Creamy Italians in my day. And weren't creamy when you met them. So, okay, so we have four more answers on the board. No strikes. Emmy Blotnick, which flavor of prepared salad dressing to use most often

as for the US population? I'm, I have a feeling that these people are sick enough in the head to say raspberry vinaigrette. Oh my God. If they like Creamy Italian. Show me. Show me raspberry vinaigrette. Oh my God. I'm giving it to you because I think the family few judges would give it to you because number three on the board is vinaigrette. Just generally speaking, vinaigrette. So yes, you take that one. Did I just get Creamy Italian and am I pissed that she got this for vinaigrette? Yes. I think, but you know what, that's fair enough because I think that my next answer will be on the board. Unless like Americans are, I don't know, this is like a divisive one too because there's a lot of baby adults in the world.

But blue cheese is my, is my answer. Blue cheese dressing. Show me blue cheese. All right. All right. Yeah, blue cheese is number five on the board just above Creamy Italian. All right. By the way, it's, it's staggering how much more popular ranch is than number two. It like triples up in terms of popular. Like ranch is number one by a lot. Like it's, it's, it's like top gun Maverick versus the rest of the domestic box office. It's just absolutely obliterating it. America fetishizes cowboy culture and so ranch is an extension of that. I've heard this about that, that, that if you go to, if you go to Europe, that they don't have a

concept of ranch and that's so cool ranch dressing or at least didn't used to cool, cool ranch rather Doritos. Cool ranch Doritos is called cool American. Have you heard this before? Whoa. Yeah. No. Basically named after me. Oh my God. It's completely off topic, but just something I have to throw out before I forget. Are you both aware that McDonald's in Italy sells mini calzones? We are aware of this. Yeah. Good, good, good. Our friend Anise showed us some pictures from a, he was in Italy McDonald's and he got himself a bunch of those little mini calzones. They look fucking good. Oh man. Yeah. They look great. Yeah. Do you think Thousand Island makes the cut? Wow. Is that your answer? Is that your guess? Yeah. What the hell is

this? It's a half step. I'm not sure I want to commit, but I'll try. Show me Thousand Island. I think it's a good answer personally. Thousand Island number four. Yeah. No strikes yet. You both have the American psyche pretty drilled down in terms of what they like on their salads. I mean, this is what I was going to guess Thousand Island and now we're getting into the weird territory. Let me give you a little clue here. You have number one and number three through six. You've collectively named five out of the six, but number two is vacant. Okay. Oh shit. Number two. So the number two answer is still on the board. So far you've listed Ranch, Vinaigrette, Thousand Island, Blue Cheese, and Creamy Italian.

I think, oh man, and there is no regular Italian on there because that's what I guessed. So man, this is tough. I think that I have to go, I got to go with the frogs, wags. I think I'm going to go, there's another one that I'm going to, and I'm hoping that Emmy just won't guess it, but I'm going French. French stressing. Ooh. I think that that's too high. Show me, show me French stressing. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, Mitch. Oh my god. Ooh. Can I throw out a guess? You have one strike. Yes. Go for it, Emmy. Yes. Is it Caesar? Oh shit. Show me Caesar. Good answer. I can't believe I forgot Caesar. Plotnik wins four to two. Mitch gets a strike. Emmy, sweeping it with no strikes. Well played. That's how you play the family food.

Caesar dressing number two. I forgot fucking Caesar. I just forgot Caesar, one of my favorite dressings. Fucked up. French. You know, you didn't forget Caesar. Mark Antony. Man. Man. I got fucked up. Yeah. Caesar. I can't believe I said French. You both did well though. You collaborated. You did a good job there. I mean, that's just such an easy answer. I can't whatever. I don't think I would have gotten Caesar because I don't think of Caesar as a prepared dressing. That's the thing. I think of like getting a Caesar salad, but I think a lot of people would just buy a Caesar salad though. Caesar dressing and they'll just like use it on on on mescaline greens or whatever the fuck, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there you go. That was the family

food. Just like a restaurant. What is it, Mitch? No, no, it's good. It's good. It was a good one. It was good. No, I didn't. I liked this one. I liked it and I was bested by a great opponent. Yeah. I considered us teammates for this in a way. I was bested by the best teammate. Yes. In a way. In a way. In a more accurate way, ME1. Jesus. Just like a restaurant value feedback. Let's upload the feedback. Today we have an email from Michelle in Chicago. Hi, Michelle. Hi, Michelle. Root beer floats are one of my go-to summer sweet treats. Are you pro or con root beer floats? Do you float any other types of soda? This is a great question. Great question. I agree. Totally agree. Yeah. You were snapping, Blatnik. What's a did something

spring to mind? I love a Coke float. I fucking love a Coke float. Coke floats are good. Coke floats are good. And I also think a cream soda as the base for a float is sexual. This question immediately and what you just added immediately is making me crave a float. I do really like root beer floats. They're really fun. Every time I have them, here's the thing. They're such a rare thing now. Like when I was a kid, I would be like, oh, we have mug root beer in the fridge and we have some vanilla ice cream. I'll just make myself a fucking root beer float because I can. But I don't keep that shit in the house anymore. So it's like a treat I'll go out and get. Here's the varietal I like. Get some orange soda. Have like an orange soda. Have yourself a little

creamsicle float. Yeah. Absolute heaven. Yeah, that sounds very good. Yeah. Wally, I'm sorry to sit up, Wally, but I got to get into this answer. Now we have your attention two hours into the record. He actually didn't want to move, so I'm laying back again. I just got fucking alphaed by Wally. Look, this is right up my alley. You know this, the Brigham's AKA ice cream parlor, which is shut down sadly, rest in peace. A place I loved. For me, I love root beer floats, and it's also the thing that I don't associate with summer as much as other things, but I do love them and I do think they're a great summery treat. I think if you're going to have a root

beer float, you get one in the summertime. Yeah, why not? For me, raspberry lime rickies, which I've talked about on here, some fraps, but if we want to go in the more float direction, my mom used to get a mocha ice cream soda from ice cream parlor, and it was basically it's soda water, some chocolate, like they put chocolate into the soda water, and then a float of mocha ice cream, and damn, it is so good. And you're like, the two flavors combining are fantastic, and you're like, I love it. And so that's one. And then also, there was this place, dairy freeze, I would get, oh, there goes Wally, I get an orange freeze. So now I am sitting up, which was basically what like it was, it was orange soda and vanilla ice cream, but they

would blend it a lot of the time. So it was like blended together. And that was really good too, an orange, an orange freeze. This really is the best your posture has been in the last two hours. It's amazing how much this topic ignited you. I thought you were going to say the last two years, it probably is the best it's been in the last two years. Also accurate, yeah. That sounds like an orange Julius. Fully blended. Ooh, you're right, you're right. It's a little bit orange Julius-ish. You can taste like orange soda more, you know, orange Julius is a little, doesn't, I don't think orange uses soda. No, it's more citrusy, it's not orange soda. But I mean, you were saying like fully blended is, that is fun. And that's

part of the fun. I feel like I'm having these is that you can, you know, as you go, it starts to melt a little bit, you can, you can alter the viscosity, you can stir that up a bit a little bit. You made a strange stirring motion there. I don't think that was strange, I think that's how you stir something. All right. You know who hasn't forgotten about orange Julius? Who's that? Oh God. Okay, fine. Was it Caesar? It was going to be orange Mark Anthony. That was great. And then is it Anthony or Antony? Now I'm in my head about that. Antony. I thought it was Antony. I think Mark Anthony is the, is the singer and Mark Anthony is the historical figure. I need to know that's Mark Anthony. Yeah.

We need to know how he pronounces it. Okay. All right. Sorry. Yes. I love a sound of an orange Julius. Anthony also is how like a lot of my Italian friends would say Anthony, like Anthony, too. So I don't know. Confusing all around, but all great stuff. All great stuff. All great stuff. I like, I like, I like, although I just want to say I like a Coke float. I love a root beer float. I mean, I like, I will go with a classic maybe root beer float over all of them, but a Coke float is great. Emmy, what you said that the, the, the cream soda float, all, all, you can float just about any, any soda. A Mountain Dew float. I don't know. I never had it, but I bet you would be too bad to try. I bet you put a lemon sorbet scoop on a Mountain Dew. I bet that's good.

That sounds great. Yeah. The Emma just, just exhaled a vape cloud, which means that we get to say busted, busted. That's how we can tell the record is going too long. I didn't know we could vape on this show, you guys. Only Emma can, because she's the alpha here. The, the, here, here's, here's what I want to say. First up, the, like, I remembered liking Coke floats more than I enjoyed a Coke float when I had it again as an adult recently. I was like, oh, I haven't had Coke float in a while. I had it, and I had it, and I was like, this is good, but I'd rather just have a root beer float or an orange cream sickle float. So that, you know, that, that's the thing. Like again, maybe, maybe revisit it

and see if it holds up to your, to your memory. If you're a Coke float partisan, maybe it does. For me, it did it. The other thing I wanted to bring up, which is something I've never had, and I've never actually had any interest in, but you'll see this a lot at, at like, you know, gastropubs these days, which is like the beer float, which is like, it's just like, hey, we, we, we have a porter or stout or something, and then we're just going to put, you know, ice cream in it. I just, I, to me, it just doesn't make sense. No. Yeah. No. I, I, I get one. Unholy. See, this, this, this to me is kind of does go into the world of like, just remembering restaurants before. Remember like a Franklin and company had like ice cream, like beer-y ice cream. I'm like,

this was a fancy, this was a fancy pants bar that was next to the upright citizens regate theater in Hollywood. The Franklin and company. Now close. Now permanently close. It did close. But, but, but I'm like, I feel like the world hasn't come back enough to where like the beer floats are back. Yeah. Like, like, like, maybe that moment's past. I feel like we haven't gotten back into that. It's sort of like the, the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the beer float is like really high up the pyramid. I think, I think yes. 100%. And trust me, I'm one who knows Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I know it well. Very good. And I, and, and, and I think that, I think that it is a sort of thing. I mean, I think you're right. I think it is, I think it is like,

maybe once the world is back to normal, we'll see beer floats again. Maybe it was hubris. To have these beer floats anyways. But I don't know. I do one. I would do one. I would do any float. Give me a float. Let, let us know what your float feelings are. Hashtag float on. And if you have a question or comment about the world of chain rest on GME, it's at dowboyspodcastedgme.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 8304636844. And to get the dowboys double, our weekly bonus episode, join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com. We say float us. Hashtag float us. Hashtag float us. Okay, that's another option. Just like the first lady. But with an A. U.S. So all cast.

No. Hashtag float us. F L O T U S. That's the first float of the, no, okay. Emmy Blatnick, thank you so much for being here. You will be at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. She dived away after that attempt. Any, even half attempt you have is better than our A plus material. So please remember. Yeah, 100%. One of the funniest people on earth. One of the funniest people I'm privileged to know. Yeah. And so if you're in the UK, check her out, the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. You'll be at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival assembly, 640 PM for all of August. And also check her out in September at the Soho Theater in London, September 9th through 10th. So, Nick off from Nando's with your cheeky tossers. And go check out it. Check out Emmy,

if you're in the UK. Emmy, tell us about your shows and anything else you want to plug. Oh, my. Okay. I will also be at the Jesper Laugh's Toronto Festival at the end of September. Holy shit. You're fucking traveling around. I'm doing some stuff. I told you, I'm going to all the English speaking places that will have me. So you know, it's a huge year guys. Emmy, I got to give you a huge, I got to give you a big warning. Don't spend one night in Soho. Oh, I didn't see the movie. So I don't know the lesson. Don't do it. You got it. You might be transported back to the 60s, I think. I forget what the movie's about, really. I think, I think, I think it's an Austin Powers spinoff.

Oh yeah. I thought it was a big commercial for jeans, but I couldn't tell. If there was an end credit scene with Austin Powers at the end of one night in Soho, fuck it be awesome. Be fucking, fucking roll. That'd be pretty good. Hey, thank you guys so much for having me. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for doing the show. And yeah, check out, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're over there in the UK, check out these shows. That would be, that would be cool. Or up in Canada, check it out. Fuck you, America. Took the words right out of my mouth.

Yeah. Fuck you, America. That's why the dough boys are touring the US. That'll do it for this episode of Dough Boys. Until next time, for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya. On the next Dough Boys Double from Dough Boys Media Studios in Los Angeles, this is Serial, a paywalled podcast told one bowl at a time. Serial aficionado Jamel Bowie returns to talk what's new in just add milk breakfast bowls and movies. Honestly, it's mostly movies, but we discussed Serial too. Get the Dough Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Dough Boys. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description.

That was a hate gum podcast.