Doughboys - Tender Greens 2 with Niccole Thurman

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

Niccole Thurman (@niccolethurman, Jellystone!) joins the 'boys to talk barbecue, Chicago eats, and fine dining before a review of Tender Greens. Plus, another edition of The Wiger Challenge.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697739/https://tastecooking.com/snackwells-flavor-permissible-indulgence/https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697656/https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0697781/https://blog.marketresearch.com/u.s.-weight-loss-industry-grows-to-90-billion-fueled-by-obesity-drugs-demandhttps://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-himi-erik-oberholtz-20180519-htmlstory.htmlSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. This is so fucking good. This line, the profanity naturally bleeped for network television, was the inciting incident in the Seinfeld Season 5 episode, The Non-Fat Yogurt, in which a delicious fat-free treat leads to Jerry Seinfeld's explicit outburst in front of an easily influenced child. Like many Seinfeld episodes, it spoke to a then-zeitgeist-y mania, the low-fat diet, which doctors and nutritionists of the era pushed as a template for healthy eating. The now-discredited dogma led to products like Nabisco's Snack Wells, a devil's food

cookie with zero deadly fat, but loads of harmless high-fructose corn syrup, which sold like shitty hotcakes to desperate dieters. But while the non-fat yogurt reflected an eating trend of the moment, a different Seinfeld episode was more prescient about the culinary future. Season 6's The Big Salad centered on George thanklessly buying Elaine the titular entree-sized portion of leafy greens. The notion of a big salad was relatively novel at the time. While salads were common as appetizers or sides, an entire meal of dressed lettuce seemed

exotic. So much so that in the season 6 episode, The Soup, not to be confused with the even more famous season 7 episode, The Soup Nazi, when Elaine was exiled from her beloved monk's diner and forced to eat at rival Reggie's, the server was baffled by her pleas for a big salad. But in the 2000s, as Seinfeld yielded to curb your enthusiasm, the low-fat diet yielded to the Atkins diet, as dietary fat was unshackled from belly fat and carbs became enemy number one in the $90 billion weight loss industry.

And with the rise of salads for lunch and dinner came trendy new salad-focused restaurants, including one founded in Culver City in 2006 by chef Eric Oberholzer. Now with nearly 30 locations across California, Oberholzer's brainchild is just one of many greens-driven concepts targeted at health-conscious eaters who eat for fuel, not fun. Today, salads as mains are standard issue on every restaurant menu in America, and Jerry Seinfeld directed a movie about pop tarts for some reason. And similarly inexplicably, the California big salad vendor has pivoted to beefing up its menu with a beefy burger.

So in the age of Ozempic, will this fat and carbs loaded hamburger sandwich make diners exclaim, this is so fucking good? This week on Doughboys, we return to tender greens for the tender greens burger. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger along with my co-host, Sweaty Krueger, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. All right. I don't think of you as a sweaty guy.

I'm not that sweaty, but I did have, when I was younger, I had pit problems, I guess. Oh, sure. I'm sure you knew how this was. Yeah, of course. A teenage boy and you got pit problems and you try like any sort of deodorant and you're still. And you're worried about pitting too.

Okay, Jimmy. Yeah, you're, uh. Yeah, Gemini is not taking her normal place next to Mitch. She's just kind of like staring up at me. This is bizarre. It's really strange. Directly in the center of the story. Yeah.

Okay, there she goes. There she goes. She knows the show has started. That was kind of like, maybe she's now, she did come over to you recently. She did, yeah. That was under special circumstances. We did an episode with Claudio D'Arty and John Early.

That's right. And she, Claudia made a big yelping noise. Yeah, she got spooked by Claudia. That's why she came home. Yeah. It's not cause she actually likes me. So thanks Claudia, now that Jemmy doesn't seem to like me as much anymore.

Yeah. Oh, go ahead. Come on, baby. Sweaty Krueger and the cream warrior is a bonus roast to the creamsman Nick Weiger. Okay, how about that? Carly C in San Antonio, Texas. Sweaty Krueger's pretty bad.

His glove will be flying off his hand. Right. Because his hand is sweaty. Too many layers, bitch. Ha ha ha ha. Take off the sweater, Kruger. Sweater, how about debtor, bitch? Ha ha ha ha.

We're trying to help you, Freddie. Ha ha ha ha. Uh, you know what I like? We both feel like Kruger should be brought back. I'd love to have a funny Kruger come back. He's got to be funny though, that's the whole thing. And a funny horror movie can work. I feel like stuff is so super serious now, but I don't know, something a little campy,

a little fun. I mean, that was part of Megan's success, I think. That was like fun. Yeah. Me three-gan. M three-gan, yeah. Me three-gan. M three-gan, yeah. Hey, speaking of horror and speaking of comedy,

we gotta talk about our buddy Casey Donahue's short, The Taco Bell Bell Sound Song. Oh, wow. Which we both have watched and you are in. That's right, I am a partially star in the film, that's correct. You get the and at the end, right? I came in and did, in the film is correct. You get the and at the end, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I came in and did, which for, literally I was about 20 minutes late, so kind of similar to today, and shot for about five minutes total. And then I was like, did I just suck? And I was like, oh well, and I was saying this to Casey as I was leaving. But you know what?

Phenomenal performance. I thought so. You nailed it, Mitch. I'm kidding, but the movie is, the film is great. I watched it for the first time last night. It's great. And it won the competition. What award did it win?

He hates that we're doing this to him, but guess what, we're doing it. Casey wrote and directed this movie. Yeah, I wrote and directed it. It was for this show in LA called the Taco Bell Film Festival. No real affiliation with Taco Bell whatsoever. Bunch of people made Taco Bell movies.

And I won the, let me see what they called it. It was the equivalent of like the audience award. Basically the viewers choice award. Viewers choice, but they called it the mass market appeal award for overt audience appeasement. Wow. Wow. I'm very proud of that.

That rules. And the award was a big Taco Bell packet. It was a big hot sauce packet. That's fun as hell. Yeah. You got that packet? Just wanna borrow it. Yeah. You wanna borrow the packet?

I don't know, I could bring it back. He's gonna get it back when he's done. Yeah, I'll bring it in, sure. We're such fat guys that we crave for hot sauce. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. It's really well done. We'll have linked to it in social media

by the time this episode is out. This is where we're recording a little bit in advance. This episode's going to Frank Bank. But we want to talk about the main feed because people should check it out if they haven't. Where can they see it, Casey? Yeah, where can people see it? Oh, you can see it at its exclusive streaming home, my website, casymakesmovies.com. You can check it out there.

Hey, easy. Slash short films, but click around. There's a bunch of stuff you can watch. Yeah, check it all out a great website I mean people can find that it's like bird fuck in many ways. It's a lot like bird fuck We can link to it from bird. We can lead to it from bird. Well, we'll do that So visit bird fuck or bird pluck bird pluck also redirects now to bird fuck calm Our guest is just like what the fuck are they talking about?

Let's hit them. Sorry to any new listeners. Let's hit them with a drop. There was a Reddit post the other day that was like, Mitch farted. They were like, Mitch farted? I'm like, first of all, I don't just fart during record. Excuse me.

And then what do you think? He stuck the microphone up his butt to catch it? Excuse me. I can mute it. I can do, excuse me, anything. I don't fart during the record for God's sake. And second of all. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Wow. That's it? That's it. That is it. The dry is, excuse me, drop. Hi everyone, no comment on this one. That's it? That is it.

Excuse me, Drop. Hi, everyone. No comment on this one. Guess who it is. It's our boy Finky. Wow, Finky. Yep, Chris Finky. Well done, Finky. I mean, it was funny.

Yeah, it made me laugh. Those weren't real. Those were added. Yeah, we know they're not real. People thought they were real. They weren't real. No one thought they were real. A lot of people listening to this probably thought they were real. No one thought it was real. That wasn't even a drop. That was just the stupid thing. It wasn't just a clip from the podcast.

Someone, I think he added those in there. So. Jemi did toot a couple of times last record. She did last week. I don't know what that was all about. Toot and lay. I think she's just so comfy. Yeah I have that effect on people Drops at bird fuck calm. Hey, we have a great guest in studio today first time on the podcast from jelly stone shrill and Grayson Frankie Nicole Thurman is here. Hi, Nicole, thanks so much for being here.

Thank you for having me. I'm so glad to be here. A pleasure. What a hoot. Yeah. Okay, we're talking before we recorded while we were waiting for Mitch to show up, that you are from,

I know you spent some time in Chicago. I want to talk. I was, I got there four minutes before you. And I was like, oh my God, he's late. I'm just kidding. I want to talk about Chicago some, because I know you live there. Chicago eats. I wanna talk about Chicago some, cause I know you live there. Chicago eats, is that what you wanna talk about?

Before we get to Chicago, I didn't know this, you're originally from Kansas City. Yeah, I'm originally from Kansas City. Wow. So what's the Kansas City, what's the food scene like there? Are there any iconic local restaurants or local chains that make you think of home?

It's barbecue, right? It's all barbecue for sure. Barbecue is the biggest thing there. I'm trying to think of the ones that I used to like. Arthur Bryant's. Okay. Adrian's, I believe there's like Jack Stack, I think is popular.

And most of them are like the good ones are like the ones that are downtown in the still deserted part of downtown, which is like, I don't know, like, well, neither of your cities are like that, but like, you know, like Detroit or something, like those cities where they're like, I don't know, like, well, neither of your cities are like that, but like, you know, like in Detroit or something, like those cities where they're like, they were once a thing and then they weren't,

and now they're coming back. Yeah, all of the like great barbecue restaurants are in the like dead areas where you find nothing. So just like vacant buildings and like empty apartments above them. Squatters peeing outside and they're like, I'm getting BBQ today. Yeah, no, it's good.

It's good, yeah, but I don't, it's like also though, like recently it's become more like a, what's the word when it's like a she-she fancy, like American contemporary, like a lot of people have been moving back from, you know. LA. Gentrification or whatever. Yeah, or just like a midlife crisis and they're moving back from there

So where they where they went to make it and then they're like, I'm tired. I want to go home, right? Yeah You live you live here and I but and I'm way past midlife we both are well in terms of life expectancy Yeah, I think we're done for the finish line. Yeah. Yeah, in terms of life expectancy, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we're done for. Towards the finish line. Yeah. Yeah. But you guys are doing okay, that's the thing.

If you weren't sitting here and you were just sitting at home and you're like, this isn't working for me, you go back to where you were from if you were not from here. Right, right. Sure, yeah. No, we had the, I wouldn't say good sense, the good luck, the good fortune

to just take what we would talk about anyway, eating shitty food, and then just put microphones in front of our mouths. It worked out. I would love to hit up Adrian, you know who I'd bring? Yes. My good friend Rocky Balboa. He goes there?

Wait, what? That's his favorite part. Adrian his. Oh, yo Adrian! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause you could have said like, I really want some barbecue, I'm going to go to Adrian's. And then Rocky. I'll rewrite your joke.

Don't worry. No, your reaction was correct. No, that is funny. I love that. My sister's name is Adrian and we used to do that. We'd be like, yo Adrian, shut up. That's for you, my sister. What's your barbecue go to?

I hope she's not watching. Yeah. Yeah. It's very interesting that you ask what my barbecue go to is because I'm not a huge barbecue person. Oh, wow. It's one of those things where you're like, you're from the city and they know, you know, Wizard of Oz and barbecue.

And you're like, OK, well, my middle name is Dorothy, so I'll embrace that for my grandma's name. And I'm from Kansas. And then, yeah, but barbecue-wise, I feel like what I gravitate towards, if I'm going to eat barbecue, is it like a Southern California, South Carolina kind of thing,

like where it's like the mustardy sauce, which is not the one, because I don't really like, I don't really love a sweet and savory mix. So I like the tanginess of that better. Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah. I'm so bad with defining the barbecue lines.

We'll just get in trouble. People will just get mad at us for this. This is a thing we don't know about. We're not from barbecue country. We don't know about it. We don't know. We just don't know stuff. So we don't know the one that's more like vinegary

versus dry raw. Yeah, we don't know. Versus more molasses or whatever. We don't know. I watch like, I don't know either. I just watch a couple episodes of like a Food Network thing. That's why I think I do. Yeah, true. Because I feel like they do those crazy competitions and stuff with barbecue.

It's like such a, it is such a thing. We can't be doing research like that for the show. We can't be doing that. Y'all are eating a burger then sitting on a chair and talking about it. Exactly. Come on now, that's what you wanna do. No, I get it.

My sister recently called me with my god sister, Sarah Kiley, and they were at a Wizard of Oz play for my goddaughter, and they were like, "'You would have made such a great cowardly lion.'" Oh my god! So I was just like, "'Ah, thanks, I guess.'" So wait, I feel like I've been sitting in this chair

for like 10 minutes, and you've been called sweaty, you farted, and then now you're talking about cowardly, like people are playing you, you need to- I mean, the cowardly lion, I mean, yes, that's my life. That is kind of the, that's my lot in life, that's okay. You can play that well, you can embody that well. I think that's a compliment. You really think so?

Oh, he's in the eyes. Oh, he had like the sad little eyes. Actually, that was so good. That was good. Wow, master class, you guys. No, but for real, that wasn't good. I was a munchkin in Wizard of Oz. Wow.

I was a crow. Were you really? Wow. Like, that was what, yeah. In the musical, did you guys, if you did the musical, I don't know, but there's like a song that the crows sing with the scarecrow.

Whoa. I was a mega munchkin, because I was still pretty big. This is fifth grade. Mega munchkin. So I was pretty, I was like a full donut basically. I wasn't on the luncheon. So cute, oh my God.

I just want to think of you as a kid now. A crow, yeah, we got the short end of the stick in that one. Oh, hell yeah we did. And I think I was like understudying the Wicked Witch. And I was like, okay, so if she don't get mono or not. Like she did actually get sick once and I was like, but no. Yeah, she was a champion.

My sister got mono for a London trip and my dad and I went solo with my godparents family. My mom and sister had to stay home. And I gave her a lot of crap because it's the kissing. They call it the kissing disease or whatever. It was routine, yeah. And when you have pink eye people are like, did you touch poop?

A butt, yeah. You touched a butt, yeah, did you touch a butt? I feel like those are the two ones where you can immediately make fun of somebody for being sick. Pink eyes,, I had a camp pink eye. You ever had pink eye? Disgusting. I have had pink eye.

It is disgusting. It's awful. Yeah. But it's thankfully like fairly treatable. You just gotta like, the tough thing for a kid is you end up touching the eye with the same hand. Yeah. That's actually a thing I learned from having pink eye

when I was like eight or whatever is like, I only touch my left eye with my left hand, only touch my right eye with my right hand like just always like this is my general rule yeah wait I'm confused by that like my because if you touch your left eye I get pink eye here and I touch it with my left hand and then I touch that hand to my right eye and then I've transferred it over to my other eye just a heads up by the way most of our guests who leave this you'll get pink eye. Listen I'm already feeling a little scratchy scratch. Bring it on. Imagine if you had pink eye and mono. What would people think?

Oh my god. Pink head. Touching butts, booties. You had a fun night. Come on now they wouldn't be mad. I would say that's a good thing. You know millennial eating ass. That's what you were doing. You were eating that ass. Yeah that's right. You're kissing it and you have it in your eye. Are there high numbers of conjunctivitis in millennials?

Is that, is that, is that, I want to see that. I don't know, it could be. I want to see the numbers, Biden. You should see the numbers. See when eating ass became like a thing everybody talked about and then see you and pink eye cases went up. So not a big, not a big barbecue person, like, yeah, that's an interesting thing when like,

your regional cuisine is known for something, like, and then that doesn't like, click with you. The big thing for us is, Emma, you don't, and we're just, your parents were just here, but you are not a lobster fan as someone who has lived some time in Maine. No, I just can't do the texture of it. I don't know what it is, it just doesn't,

it doesn't vibe with me. Every time my dad makes lobsters, he makes me scallops instead. That's wild. Hold on a second. That is wild to me. Right, because more people would- Then I like scallops and not lobster. Oh, over lobster.

That's true. Because it's like, it's also texture. It's a weird texture. I only like scallops in New England, I think. Like, I don't like the baked scallops, the little ones. Like, the ones my dad gets in New England are like these big fat, juicy scallops. They're so good. But I would only eat them there.

What is, so what is it, is lobster too rubbery for you? Is that it? Yeah, it's like a rubbery thing. I didn't like shrimp for the longest time for the same reason, but like lobster specifically, I try it every year just in case, maybe this year I like it. And it hasn't clicked yet, so. That's why we're talking about oyster people.

Yeah, yeah. Same thing with oyster people. We should do that.'t clicked yet, so I'm the worst when they're around. That's what I was talking about with oyster people. Same thing with oyster people. We're talking about oysters. I love oysters, but I said there's oyster people that always do this. Every dinner I go to, I'm like, I wanna get oysters, because I love oysters. And then someone at the table is always like,

I don't really like them, but I think I'm gonna try one this time. And they never like it. And then you see them try one, they're like. Yeah, and I'm like, I could have had that freaking oyster, man. Yes. And then you're not supposed to chew it. You're not supposed to chew it?

That's what makes it so bad. People are like chewing, I know, people chew them. But I do get the lobster. I feel like lobster also is like rubbery, but then it's like a squeaky feeling you get on your teeth. Yeah. That's what I don't like. Yes, it's entirely the texture for me.

Not the flavor, I don't mind the flavor, the smell of it. That's fine, it's just like, there's a texture thing. Yeah, that's why I'm with eating ass. I'm just kidding, too much eating ass talk. I'm not even this person. What's happening? The cameras are on. I have no boys for you.

Welcome to the show. I've never been offered ass, but I don't know if I will. On an ass platter? I know I'm good, actually, but in case much. Like walking around a party as a caterer. But you're eating oysters? Weird. Yeah, ew. Yeah, I feel like that has always been a thing for me

of not like digging barbecue and feeling really awkward about it. But I do like, I love like a smoky meat. Oh sure. Like I just think it's the sauce that throws me, which is weird, but it's like I have very specific, like if I taste any kind of sweetness in something, I automatically don't love it.

A lot of barbecue sauce is really sweet. It's really sweet. Like, yeah, yeah. What would be your go-to if you had to choose a favorite barbecue food? I got food, I said feud, barbecue, and barbecue feud. Cows versus farmers. That's a great one.

Cows not doing so hot there. They're losing the lore. I feel like it will turn at some point. I have my answer, but I'm kind of with you because I wish I loved the Chili's Baby Back Ribs song. Great song. And my mom loves ribs, and a lot of people love ribs. Dan and I, and if you have good ribs, they're fantastic,

but a lot of the time I don't, I feel like ribs can be pretty bad. So I stopped eating pork, but when I did, I always would prefer over the ribs, like a pulled pork or like just a good barbecue sausage. Like you know, you're under those sometimes and those can really hit. Pulled pork too, but pulled pork is almost boring to me.

My answer is brisket. Brisket, well that's what I was gonna say as someone who doesn't eat pork anymore, like I default to brisket, yeah. I love brisket, I love a good brisket. Me too, I love the fatty brisket. You know how they have lean brisket? I'm like, why would you get lean brisket

when you can get all that, mm. So yeah, I like brisket. I think also with the ribs thing, that is interesting because, what's the ribs that are like, oh short ribs, short ribs are delicious I think. But I think we're all ribs thing, that is interesting because, what's the ribs that are like, oh, short ribs, short visor muscles, I think. But I think we're all seeming to be like, we gravitate towards the meatier side of things.

And ribs can be super hit or miss. They can be really like, oh, there's just like a little shred, or it's a lot. And also I don't like eating things off of the bone. Interesting. Even with wings, I use a fork. I don't know, I'm just weird. We were just having a conversation where people were saying that they love eating off the bones.

I do like bones, I do like eating off the bones, but I had a phase when I was like, I did not want- I do like bones, quote unquote Nick Weiger. I like bones, eating ass, and barbecue, doughboys. I used to, no, I used to like only like boneless chicken or whatever, and then I reached a certain point where I was just having more, I think, rotisserie chickens or whatever, and I just got really into it,

and like, yeah, now wings are some of my favorite foods, love fried chicken, I love anything off of the bone, and I always want that element of it. I also just think like the meat is juicier, but I understand- You're a regular bone collector. I am a bit of a bone collector. The issue is that it's like, it's always a pain in the ass to eat. Like I get the fork thing because I'm a regular bone collector. I am a bit of a bone collector. The issue is that it's like,

it's always a pain in the ass to eat. Like I get the fork thing because it's so messy. And yeah, I mean, like, there's a certain time and a place for bones, but like a lot of times you want no must, no fuss. You wanna just be eating with the utensil or eating with something where I'm not gonna go wash up afterwards, you know?

And that's how I feel about,, yeah eating with bones or eating with anything I just like don't like to be messy and that's probably why I don't like barbecue My mom said ever since I was like a baby I just ate very like neatly and didn't like to make a mess And so I just think that the food that food isn't is is against my morals and my code Yes, it's not for me, but no it is good and you know what I like here Have you guys ever been to bloodsows? Yes. Yeah'm not sure. Yeah, it's just not for me. But no, it is good. And you know what I like here? Have you guys ever been to Blood Sos?

Yes, yeah, I've been to Blood Sos. I'm sure people, yeah, that place is, like I love their barbecue. But I, cause I don't put the sauce on it. I just eat the smoky like brisket and I think it's delicious. Right, yeah. There's no one, who was telling us, moose craft or something?

Moose. Yeah, moose craft. Moose craft, maybe you told us. Yeah, yeah, you did. Casey is a barbecue guy. What's your go-to barbecue? I mean, I've always been. In terms of meat. In terms of meat, I grew up like a baby back rib guy.

Okay, okay. But as I've gotten older, brisket is like. Yeah. Can you agree that baby back ribs a lot of the time, oftentimes can be bad. If they're bad, they're awful. Yeah. But if they're good, they're great.

Yeah. Yeah. Episode one of Doughboys, we went to Chili's, and at the time they had the Dr. Pepper ribs. I was gonna make a Phantom Menace joke, it's fine. I just didn't get to do it in quick enough. Do you wanna add him? I heard you like, oh yeah. You wanna just mark the edit,

and then we'll just snip that out, and we'll just set it up again. So episode one of Doughboys. The Phantom Men... You didn't even have it? You didn't even have it? You didn't even have it. No, it's because he set it up that he had it. So then it was the pressure of delivering it.

I totally get this move. I do this all the time with jokes, all the time. I'm like, oh my God, I have the best fucking idea. And then I try to pitch it and it's like, nah. That's so funny. The Fanto-menuous. Wow. Okay, okay.

It was clunky, but we did get there. We went to, at Chili's at the time, they had brought back their baby back ribs and they had a Dr. Pepper sauce, and it was so cloyingly sweet, it was kind of disgusting. Oh, right, that's episode one? Those were bad gray ribs, too,

it was low quality meat. Me, you, Eva, and Jar Jar, like gray ribs too. It was like low quality meat. Me, you, Eva and Jar Jar, I think was there. Yeah, Jar Jar was there. Jar Jar. We went to, remember we went to the, I took you to the barbecue place in Texas. That's right. Texas is, okay, I maybe I do kind of like barbecue

cause I'm like, Texas has great barbecue too. We were in the barbecue town. What the hell is it called? Where they filmed some of a. Oh, I know what you're talking about, Lockhart. Lockhart, wow. Nice pull, Wags. Even I, the one who showed you, I forgot it.

Lockhart, Texas, where they filmed some of that movie. Friday Night Live? No. Wouldn't that be funny if I was just writing from the first guest? I mean, that's a great guess. That is a great guess. It's a, you know, the guy who does this. He does a silly improv movies

and I can't even remember his name and I love him. And it's insane. Christopher Guest? Yes, Christopher Guest. Insane that I forgot his name. Christopher Guest, which one would it have been though? The one with the play. Oh, the Waiting for Gufman.

Waiting for Gufman. Yeah, Gufman. Big one, yeah. That's a big one. Look, my brain's been mush for six months. You're doing great. Mitch, I don't know if this was, you probably, this was a kiss from Daddy,

my old sketch group and the birthday boys, your old sketch group. This was probably like a split night where they, but there was a night that Christopher Guest came to see our show, do you remember? Oh, right. He was in the audience. And this was a night where we were doing a Christmas show

for my sketch group. So it was kind of more of a one act play as opposed to a whole sketch show. But the bit I was doing was that I was playing, like there were elves there and there was Santa there, whatever, but I was playing Zangief from Street Fighter and I just lived at the North Pole. So I had full Zangief cosplay,

which is like red underwear and a fake hairy chest and like a mohawk and a beard. And no one knew Christopher Guest was going to show up in advance. So it was like, so this is like potentially a guy who could cast me in something, seeing me do something back when I thought I could maybe act or something. And he was attached to the Street Fighter movie.

And he wasn't gonna make the Street Fighter movie or time, but I'm up there like as Zangief just going like, ah! I was like, all right, maybe he likes that. Maybe he likes me doing a spinning punch. I wonder if the Doughboy Show sucked that night, who knows? The Birthday Boys, you mean? The Doughboy Show always sucks.

The Birthday Boy Show. Yeah. I forget what it was. Yeah. Look, a great filmmaker, I forgot his name, I forgot what movie was there. It's easy to forget things. Lockhart, oh, Great City, if you want good barbecue,

we had like three spots. Hey, let's pivot over to, speaking of Great Cities, let's pivot over to Chicago, one of the best food cities in America. So you lived there for many years, you're doing Second City. Do you have any Chicago food favorites? Oh my goodness, I never thought this one happened before.

Oh, you know what's really good is the, I mean, this is not that exciting, but the O'Shavel burger. Have you ever had O'Shavel? Oh yeah, I've never had it, but I know it's a good burger. They're a delicious burger. I mean, as far as pizzas go, I am not a huge deep dish person.

I like New York style better than Chicago style. But you know, we went to Geno's East. They have good deep, just P-Quads has the best, like just, have you guys been to P-Quads? I have been to P-Quads, yeah. I feel like that's like one of those places that we should go. I feel like I forced you to go to P-Quads as well.

I've been to P-Quads twice. What the hell? Once without you. When the fuck did you go without me? Don't worry about it. Natalie and I were in Chicago, we went to P-Quads. Oh, it had to have been after, right? It was after our thing, okay. Yeah.

Fucked up, I've only been once. We can go back. We have mediations. I mean, if we are there, I like P-Quads. Yeah. I like the Portillo's. Oh yeah, I've never had Portillo's. You've never had Portillo's, wow.

I know, isn't that wild? How long did you live in Chicago? 10 years almost. Wow, people are gonna be, our listeners are gonna get mad. Well, like, wait, I should say one Chicago thing that I had that if you guys have had it, I need to get some credit for it.

Yes. Malort. Have you ever had Malort? Oh yeah, we've had Malort. They made us do it at our live show. Oh, of course, because I was gonna say, if you go to Chicago, I'm sure, and if it's a food show, it's disgusting.

But that's a very Chicago thing. And that was a big deal back when I used to wait tables and we always took shots in Malort, and it's just disgusting. I don't even understand why that's a thing in Chicago. So I had it, and I think that with the, everyone had set me up, like, this is the worst, this is disgusting, this is like, you know,

drinking kerosene or whatever. I didn't like it, but I didn't mind it. I didn't hate it, yeah. It was like a funky taste. It's like a grapefruity, weird, I don't like it, but I didn't mind it. I didn't hate it, yeah. What's like a funky taste? It's like a grape fruity, weird, I don't know. I don't think it's like drinking Everclear, but I just think it's nasty. It's like a worse like Fernet,

and I actually like Fernet. I like Fernet. You don't like Fernet? No, I don't like Fernet at all. Waiting for Duffman, a good Simpsons title. Is it real? Oh no, it's not real. It maybe has already happened. It could be, I feel like it happened. It's a possibility that it's already. Season 36, they may have already done waiting for Duffman

check on that is waiting for Duffman an episode of the Simpsons just saying it would be a good title wait where were you at late where were you waiting Season 26 episode 17. All right now here's another question. Did I was I working on the show at that time? Season 26 would be oh I was gone. All right, so I probably did not know Waiting for Duffman is So you're waiting tables where you ain't at? Are we talking about Chicago still? Yeah, yeah. I did mostly wait tables in Chicago. I worked at like all different kinds of places.

One of the biggest ones that I worked at was Revolution Brewery, which is now a huge like chain, or not chain, but like nationwide place. But that was like, for me, that was the biggest food and beer and whatever, just like very Chicago experience. It was in Logan Square. Have you guys been there? Have you been?

No? Oh, you've been? Wait, we have been? Not to revolution. Revolution. There's a brewery, there's like a brew pub, and then there's a brewery where they make the beer. Sorry, I keep hitting the microphone.

But anyway, they had like really good like duck fat popcorn with bacon and sage and like just really like, kind of like heavier brewery food or what do you call it, gastropub food. So I worked there for a few years and that was like, everybody was super into the beers and the food there. So it's like a big thing. And then I worked at like a fine dining place

where you do the thing where you're like, have you ever dined with us before? It's all small plates and we recommend two to three. That seems stressful. Fine dining is stress. It's interesting actually planes and we recommend two to three. That seems stressful. Fine dining is stressed. It's interesting actually. Oh, okay. Because I waited a table of soul.

I did breakfast places, I did sports bars, regular bars. Breakfast place seems actually the most stressful to me. Yeah, that would probably maybe be chaotic. I just feel like breakfast is always crowded and then there's a rush and then people are mad waiting. That's brunch. I think brunch is worse than breakfast because breakfast, it was in college town,

but it was a busy spot, but it was like 6 a.m. to two, which at first I was like, what? But then it was great. It was like, I'm done at two p.m. You're done at two, yeah, yeah. I'm going to take a little nap and I'm going out. You know, it was like, it was nice. It wasn't that bad, but brunch is, I think,

where people get cuckoo bananas. And I don't even understand what happens to them, but it's like, it is Saturday, I want four drinks and I have a bad attitude. Later I want to sit down immediately. Like it's that kind of place, it's that kind of experience. Yeah, if you get bottomless mimosas and then like people are like chugging two

on an empty stomach, it's just like, you're gonna be fucked up and then you're gonna be belligerent and that's the worst person to deal with. But wait, okay, so what about fine dining? Cause like, the thing that would stress me out is that I feel like I have to remember a bunch of shit. Like, right? Like, aren't you like specials?

Don't you have to like describe them in ornate language or? I'm bad at that, I will admit I have to remember a bunch of shit, right? Like aren't you like specials? Don't you have to describe them in ornate language? I'm bad at that. I will admit I am bad at it. Especially because the longer you wait tables, the less you give two shits. One time somebody asked me for a fork and I was like, like that? Like I did?

I really was. My boss had to be like, girl, you cannot do that when people ask you for silverware. I was just so, I mean, I think I quit very soon after that because I was just done. But no, it's not, yeah, it's just, you hit the wall. It happens with our show. It's true.

Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, you just run into a wall and you're like, I can't do it anymore. Don't talk to me about one more piece of fucking bacon. Anyway, one more time though. You're the longest tenure doughboy, besides Nick and I, who are done with this show anyways. Yeah.

I think Emma is probably ultimately gonna be the longest tenure doughboy. They'll get swapped out at some point. Planting the exit. What is that, a plant in my head? Okay. Yeah, but it is hard to memorize everything. And that's the thing too,

because at the beginning you have like a meeting and they all tell you the specials. And people, you know, people that, some of the managers that work fine dining can be a little bit scary. I mean, I never worked like at Per Se. I worked in New York at the most, the nicest place I worked was New York in the West Village.

But it wasn't like it was like Per Se or it wasn't like a big deal. Yeah, sure. But I think the reason I like it more is because it's almost like people, it's almost like customers trust you more. You can just say anything. Yeah, it's juicy and fruity with a stone fruit back

on a glass of wine. I don't know what I just said. I'm wrong and they're gonna get it. Yeah, it's juicy and fruity with a stone fruit back on a glass of wine. I don't know what I just said, I'm wrong, and they're gonna get it. But I think it's because they're kind of like, I think that in fine dining, you guide the experience. I know it's not silly, but it's like you guide the experience more

and you feel more of a connection to the restaurant because you care about it. It's a very, I actually really, I also really liked waiting tables in New York for that reason, because they're, as food cities go, as far as for me, I loved, I thought New York had that, it just had something about the food industry that felt professional and like cool,

as opposed to being like, what are you doing? You know, what's your real job? You know, that kind of vibe. Sure. Yeah. So that's what, I do like fine dining actually. Casual fine dining. Yeah, sure, sure. I will never memorize anything well enough

to work a nice place. We went to like the nicest in terms of restaurants that we ever went to was Le Bernardin in New York City, which is Eric Repair's restaurant. He's like had been on Top Chef a bunch. And that was like, it was just the sort of thing where it was so nice that we were uncomfortable. Like there was a guy who was like, he had an amazing bread basket with like eight different

types of bread. It was like ridiculous. But then like you'd have bread crumbs on the table and like a guy would like run over like a ball boy at a tennis match with like a little and then scrape the crumbs off your table. Like they wouldn't even be there for 10 seconds. I was like, this is stressing me out. I'm being too doted on. That's what the deal with the managers that I'm talking about. It can start to feel like an army sergeant. But yeah, the crumming of the tables, the moving, you should

never have an empty glass ever. Like as soon as the glass is empty, you take it off the table. It's like, yeah, stuff like that is stressful, but it's, I mean, it's nice. But you know, I also worked at like in Chicago, I worked at this, what was it called? The boundary, this like shitty sports bar that I, it was in like this hipster area and I'm, in Chicago, I worked at this, what was it called, the Boundary, this shitty sports bar that I, it was in this hipster area, and I'm a little bit of a hipster. And I was driving by it, and I was like, ew, sports bar in Wicker Park, that's disgusting,

and then I ended up working there. Let me tell you, I was drinking all the, I mean, it was fun though, I was drinking all the time. At one point, I drew a penis on a man's head when we were watching a football game while I was working because it was just like a goofy, crazy environment. So it's kind of like all jobs have their perks. All of those kinds of jobs do have their vibes and their perks to them. Yeah.

I was looking up that I was trying to find the name of the burger place I went to, but as I was because I've never done a lot of fine dining in Chicago, though I should. It's a great food city. Yeah. But the I was looking for my this burger place I went to, and I found Fat it's a great food city. Yeah. But I was looking for this burger place I went to and I found Fatso's Last Stand instead. And I think it's just a great name. Fatso's Last Stand is such a great Chicago name. Oh God, yeah.

Kuma's Corner is where I've been. Oh yeah, Kuma's Corner is great. I forgot about Kuma's. Kuma's Corner, I went and I liked. But I know what I really like and maybe it is touristy, but the Billy Goat Tavern-wise. I like the Billy Goat Tavern. Oh, no, that place is great. Yeah.

It's really good. Gibson's, that's a big one for me. It's a steakhouse in Chicago. I guess that's fine dining. I used to work at a restaurant across the street from there. Yeah, I think it is. Yeah, yeah. Across from Gibson's?

I worked at this, I can't remember what it's called. It's like a Mexican, you know, nice, cute, like they were trying to do Mexican food, but like charge you way too much money for like what you could get at a cool truck for like $5. Sure, yeah. Yeah, so like they- It's LA, a lot of LA restaurants just do the same thing.

Well, this was in Chicago, but yes, it was the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was, yeah, we had to wear these like short skirts. It was like a cocktailing job. We had to wear short skirts and it's Chicago. So we'd be outside cocktailing and it's windy. Jesus. And we're like, oh, the experience. And I'm not a short, I mean, I'm a shorter gal,

shorter skirt gal person, I can't talk. But you know, it was a lot. But yeah, Gibson's is nice. You know what else is nice that I should mention is Long Man and Eagle. You guys are probably, have you been there? Long Man and Eagle. Long Man and Eagle.

Long Man and Eagle. Yeah, it's in Logan Square. Ooh. I have not been there. I have not been there. Oh, you have you been there? Long Man and Eagle. Long Man and Eagle. Long Man and Eagle. Yeah, it's in Logan Square. I have not been there. I have not been there. Oh, you have to go there. I bet a lot of your listeners would know it because it's like a very- Sounds like a Nickelodeon show, honestly.

Long Man and Eagle. Oh my God, it's like Pete and Pete and then Long Man and Eagle is right after Pete and Pete. Yeah, Dan Schneider-Prelip, but he's stayed away since. I love that fucking document. But yeah, that place is amazing. It's like, so that was like the first, Logan Square is like this area that kind of just like

blew up once revolution came and like started a brewery there and Long Man is down the street. They have incredible food. I'm trying to think, it's like the type of place where you can get like bone marrow, but like in an accessible chill way. Right. Weiger's been picketing in front of Nicole Leigh

in front of Bring Back Schneider. Do you think you could spend more time on the line for the WGA strike or for the Bring Back Schneider thing? Bring Back Schneider, one guy, please. I just rolled right into it, so I've lost count of days at this point. It's been my life for the past year. Let's talk about, okay, we gotta talk about your dog,

because we have Jemmy here, but you are a dog mom yourself. I should have brought her. I was actually thinking, I was like, wonder if I could. I wonder what would have happened. Jemmy would be so fine with that. She's at daycare. She'd be like sleeping like that too.

But yeah, she's like a little beagle pug chihuahua. My name's Izzy. It's like to the point where I'm so obsessed that pretty much everybody's just like, how's Izzy when they first see me? There's nothing else to really talk about pretty much everybody's just like, how's Izzy when they first see me? There's nothing else to really talk about. So it's just like, how's Izzy? And she's amazing.

We should put a pic of Izzy if you have one in that episode so people can see. Oh, definitely. She's really cute. And we just, we have fun together. I wanted a dog forever. And then I was dating someone who had a dog and he would leave his dog with me

for like three weeks or something if he had to travel. And I was like, I can do this. And so then as soon as we broke up, I got a dog. Like literally, I had COVID when I broke up with him. I shouldn't tell. I had COVID when I broke up with him and I like still had the mask on when I met my dog. Like I was that, it was that fast.

But it was like, she was the first dog I met. I wasn't even planning on looking at her because I wanted to get a boy dog really. I don't know why I just had this idea of like, I'm a boy dog really. I don't know why I just had this idea of like I'm a boy dog mom. But anyway, I got I ended up with Izzy and she's insane and so sweet and I love it. It's nice. I had Wally and Irma, my cats during the pandemic and it was a lifesaver to just be able to talk to them. I lived alone so it was great to have them there. It was it was it's a huge difference. I think that's, because for me, it's like after having been

in a relationship, COVID, I live alone as well. So yeah, then just being like newly single and like, OK, what do I do now? It was so nice having a dog. And yeah, it still is. It's one of those things where I don't really ever feel lonely anyway, because I'm a pretty loner, pretty loner type of person.

I like to go to movies alone. I'll go to dinner alone or whatever. Oh yeah, me too. Speaking this guy's language. Yeah. And he's married, but he still likes to be alone. And it's nice to do, even if like, yeah, because then you can still have your time.

Exactly. Treat yourself. It's kind of like a fun little, but yeah. His wife likes it too. His wife likes it. She loves it. She's like, bye, get out the house. I've been waiting for you to leave since 2.30.

Yeah. I've been waiting for you to leave since 2.30. I'm almost done. I have to just finish reading my manga. This is him in his house. I have to, and I got a couple hours of Baldur's Gate to play to. A little nerd shit. I got to finish this nerd shit, and then I'll be out.

No, I don't even know what we're talking about. But yeah, he's great. Oh, you know what? You know what is fun is that like when you were single in the pandemic and you would match with someone and then they were like, let's meet up. And you're like, you wouldn't want to see the person. You know what I mean? Like it was an immediate red flag for someone.

Oh yeah, like at the very beginning. Oh, absolutely. That was really weird. That whole period was weird though, because I feel like you would find out which one of your friends were like the most red flag for some reason. Oh yeah, like at the very beginning. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. That was really weird. That whole period was weird though, because I feel like you would find out which of your friends were the worst, and which of your friends were maybe a little bit

too hardcore about it even though, too extremes, where you're like, okay, chill out. This is bad, but just wear the mask and stay home, okay? I think there was also a real, there was like, wait, you're rich? You know what I mean? You see like, like like I'm back at my parents house now There's some palatial estate. I was like what the wait this is how you live like who all like walk be a guest on the show He's in like a huge fucking mansion

Grand piano behind I No, I can tell people. Stay to the guest house, guest house. Guest house. I always think like also a sign of a rich person, because I usually can tell before because they don't have, there's a stress or depression that's not in their eyes. Because they've never had to worry about money. It's a specific worry that if you've ever had to worry about money in your life, everybody has it. A little bit of like, don't let me lose a job,

you know, like that. But like rich people, they're always just like, they're always like kind of lighter because they don't let me lose the job. You know, like that? But like rich people, they're always just like, they're always like kind of lighter because they don't have the money weight. Yeah. The money weight, they have too much money weighted on them. But you know, I don't know, I just always thought that. I was like, it's funny.

But yeah, it was a lot of like, yeah, the co-gift was weird. And you found out who couldn't be alone for one minute. Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. I'm like, why are you calling in? Like, we're okay, like, just calm down. But yeah, I felt like that was my kind of time because I'm good at being alone.

But you know what? Yeah. We kept the podcast going for you, the listeners. We did it for you. We came in and kept the studios going, kept the studios open. We were here every week recording in person for you. Breathing on each other.

We were sharing food. Yeah, we forced our engineers to come in. I hope you guys are grateful. I'm grateful. I wonder what that section of the podcast is like. I've told you this before, but so many movies that I've watched, I just forget everything about. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That I watched during the pandemic. There's stuff, and I'm like, I wonder how bad the, I mean, it's very bad normally. So today's good. Today's a good one. I was hoping you would say something about it. Today's a great one.

Normally bad. Normally bad. I think we were both just losing our minds. And I don't know how much of that was like bubbling to the surface when we were recording or how much of it was, this was the surface when we were recording or how much of it was This was the one place where we could be normal So it actually if you listen back to it, it just kind of sounds like a regular episode I have no idea. I will never revisit it. I don't want to relist it. We relive 2020 again

Yeah, yeah, I don't know if I'll ever listen to any doughboys episode ever I've never listened to a fucking doughboys episode ever in my life Yeah, I had a podcast and I was like, I don't want listen to this shit ever. I don't wanna hear what I said. Yes. But what, did you guys record, so you recorded here or were you doing Zoom and stuff? No, we were doing it all over. Oh, okay, I was like,

you're really like, sounded like you were doing it here. I'm like, what? I'm like, why were you, everybody else was on Zoom, why are you still on Zoom? Oh yeah, but the, yeah, that was, that whole period was weird.

And then everybody was just trying to be like, can we still, should we do an improv show? Should we do a podcast? Right. Everybody was cuckoo and just being like, we don't know what's happening. And then everybody was just trying to be like, can we still, should we do an improv show? Should we do a podcast? And everybody was cuckoo and just being like, we don't know what's happening. Yeah, it was a lot. I'm ready for COVID too. Bring it on.

COVID too, electric poogaloo. What do you call it? COVID too, more, what's it called? Fast and furious. Oh yeah, too. COVID-er and COVID-ierster. That's dumb and dumb and right. It was too fast, too furious.

Yeah. Too co, too vid. Too... Too... We'll probably get a January 6th, too. That's something to look forward to. That is, that is. Oh my God, it's all coming back.

This is so fun, we're just gonna do it again. Yeah, we just relived the last four years again. And let me tell you, I'm not missing this one. Okay, I wanna ask before we get into tender greens. How many stairs is it? I mean, not as many as you have. I wanna talk generally about, because I think tender greens fits into this bucket

of like, it's like a, I think it's primarily like a work lunch place. Oh, right. Like that's like the people, like there's an office order or something, or you're just trying to grab something that's like not gonna weigh you down and you have an hour.

Like that's like, no one is like necessarily excited to go to Tender Greens. It exists there to be like, this is your healthy salad slash bowl slash sandwich sort of option. When you are trying to- It got writers roomed, it got like writer room destroyed. That's a big Hollywood specific. Yeah. So it would be. But also, like, I mean, this is even 10 years ago. Or like it was like tender greens got.

I was picking up Simpsons launch orders when I this. This is pre waiting for Duffman. Right. But I didn't realize you were telling me something like, wait, does that happen? I was on that show. But I was I used you worked on this show. And then you're like, wait, did that happen? I was on that show. I worked on it. But I used to get tender greens all the time for lunch here. And I did think it was great for a while. It was a pain in the ass to pick up for lunch. But everything was a pain in the ass to pick up for lunch.

But I used to fax in lunch orders. I wonder when they do that anymore. It's so wild. This is also like 2007, eight, nine, you know what I mean? It's not that long ago. But then you're like, wait, no, it's 17 years ago. I know, it's almost 17.

Yeah, it's a fucking long time ago. It's a long time ago. It's a long time ago. I liked tender greens. The one in Culver City is the one that I would go to and get quite a bit. Which I think is the original. Yeah.

And I liked it then, and I thought it was a good for to be healthy and have a good salad for lunch. Has it fallen off? Yes. We've talked about it. How many times have we, is it our third review? This is only the second time we've done tender grains. This is only our second review.

Yeah, and it's been, again, a long ass time. It was 2017 when we reviewed it with Ryan Stanger. So of the Action Boys, whose merch I'm wearing today from Kinship Kids. So many boys. I know, they're everywhere. A lot of us boys in comedy. But no boy dogs.

Oh my goodness. I know, a lot of boys in comedy, you're right, that's true. I got a boy and a girl cat, which is a nice balance. So I wanna ask, before we get into tender greens specifically, generally speaking, if you're dealing with like the healthy lunch, the healthy dinner sort of option, like I'm gonna get a meal out, but I'm not gonna indulge,

I don't wanna feel like shit. Like, where do you, what are your go-tos for that? Like what kind of place do you go to? Or like what kind of dish are you looking for? Are you looking for like a big salad or a bowl or whatever? Yeah, I feel like I'm, this is interesting about tender grains too. I am very specific.

I think I'm more specific. Like I don't, I never want anything like super heavy when I do eat out. So yeah, I'm always like wanting a salad. And I also have this thing, I guess it's like in the same like weird area as the sweet thing where I don't like bread very much. Okay.

Which is funny cause everybody like bread. Yeah, sure. But I don't know why, I think it's because it's kind of in the same, it's like a texture-y, but not really texture. It's more like, I think it makes things like dry and more flavorless. And so like, I like just meat, just like lettuce,

you know, just the basics of a salad or the basics of a sandwich. I never like care about all of the stuff. Sure. So yeah, I always wanted to do something light. And so you were saying, where was I going? Or yeah, like what's your go-to? Sometimes I'll talk and I'm like, what am I doing?

Why am I saying these words? Like I really am such a brain foggy weirdo. Well, that's funny, that also our question is like, do you like sandwiches? When you think back on the question, they're not very good questions. They're bad. No, we have to where I go, where I would go, I would go to Sweet Green probably.

I mean, tender greens I've very rarely gone to, but it's exactly when I want exactly. Arugula with like lettuce and olive oil and a steak. And I'm like, that makes sense. I don't know why they, that's a restaurant, but I'm having it. But like that's tender, or Sweet Green, you know, just some junk.

Just some deli stuff or like chips. Like honestly, like a lot of times, lately especially I've been eating like chips and candy for lunch. Wow. I'll go workout. No protein, just chips and candy? I'll go workout.

Okay. I'll have a protein shake. Okay. And then like at four, I'm like, did I have lunch? And then I'm like, no, I want chips now. So it's always like a snack. I'm a big snacker too. It's more like the idea of, you know,

got girl dinner stuff like that is how I already ate. So yeah, it's like that. So anywhere I can get like little bits and pieces and snacks I'm into. Wow. I can't think of any pieces. I like it. But that's my jam.

I mean, more of a boy meal. Like that's like, I like eat like a full meal. I don't like snacks. Yeah, like a hearty. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Boy meal. Like that's like, I like eat like, I like a full meal, I don't like snacks, you know? Yeah, like a hearty. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Boy meal? I guess that's not the antonym for girl dinner.

Boy meal sounds strange. I like a boy meal. You know what I could go for right now? A boy meal. Free Dan Schneider. No, I'm more meals than snacks. I don't know. Free Dan Schneider? Free. No, I'm more meals than snacks. I don't know. Free Dan Schneider.

Free. He's not arrested. Well good, I'm happy. Amen. Where do you land with meals or snacks? I feel like I'm team meal. I'm team meal, you know this. I'm more of a meal guy.

I'm more of a meal guy, you get now for, I'm more of a meal guy, you get it. I mean, I don't dislike snacks, but I am, for a big guy, I really, I don't snack too often. No, I don't feel like you do. And I also feel like you're a guy who are like, we've been on the road together, I've observed your habits. I feel like you're a guy who will have like,

have like two big meals in a day, right? And it's like, and sometimes it'll be like, like akin to what you were saying, but it'll be like four o'clock and you haven't eaten yet. Yeah, and then I'll do a big, that is more the way I'll do it. Today it was one of them, I hadn't eaten anything yet today.

But I, for me, to answer another part of this question, I used to be a tender greens guy and a, what was the farms one? Mendocino farms. Oh, that's another one. Mendocino farms, I can't, my brain is mush. But those two were like huge rotation, healthy, but still I'm like satisfied with them.

But I feel like both of them have fallen off. And in fact, Wags, I'm gonna reveal something today. There was a time where I was talking about how I got a paper towel in my salad. That's right. And we never revealed the place. Yeah. Maybe we did since, but it was tender greens.

That's right. I ordered a salad and I was like, this chicken is tough. And I put it in my mouth, it was a paper towel. And even still after the fact, I mean, it is truly disgusting. Yeah. After the- It's disgusting, but it's kind of an understandable mistake.

It was like, hey, I was using this to dry off produce or something like that, and I just like, I fell into, I don't know, I mean, like, to me it's like- Paper towel ain't a salad, it's wild. It's pretty gross. To me, that's giving like, oh, I washed my hands, but maybe you didn't clean all the way. Oopsie chicken, and then the chicken.

Yeah, I guess if it came from like a bathroom paper towel. I think I know exactly what it was, is that there's that board there where they chop up the meat, and I think they use a paper towel to wipe it down, and I think that that somehow got in my salad, I guess, which is also gnarly, that is disgusting, but it was tender greens.

Now, here's the thing. That was what, eight years ago even? It was during the podcast, but it was like seven or eight years ago, which is depressing to hear that. Yeah, it's all depressing. So much time. Seven or eight years ago,

but I never revealed it. And I'm saying it today because I gave tender greens a shot after that. And I actually did still get it consistently for a while. I've fallen off quite a bit, but the restaurant seems to have fallen off too. And then when we went today, there is a lot of it's very different than it once was as it was. It's the menu is wild. Well, this is over the place.

This is part of why we revisited this chain specifically because right now they are pushing a burger, which is to me very out of character for what Tender Greens does. They have a burger and we'll talk about that in a second. But Nicole, before we get to that, like, okay, you're maybe a bread skeptic, but you do like meat.

Do you like yourself a burger? I do like a burger. I think a burger or any kind of heavier meat is a more rare thing, but every time I get it, I'm like, oh yeah, it hits, it hits. What do you like on a burger? Or where you had- On it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty much the basics. Cheese-wise, always American cheese for me. American cheese just melts perfectly on a burger. It's delicious. It's delicious. It's buttery in this weird way, I think. I don't know.

Lettuce, you know, mustard, mayo, no ketchup, no tomato, cause it's too slidey. Have you guys seen that meme where there's like a girl falling out of the car and they're like a tomato as soon as you put it on the sandwich and it's a girl falling out of the car. And she's wearing a red shirt, so it's even funny. I'll find it in some scenes. But yeah, what else do I like? you on that. I'm just wearing a red shirt so it's even funny. I'll find it in some time.

But yeah, what else do I like? I like bacon. I, at Revolution when I worked there, we always had crazy burgers with like spinach, beets, goat cheese, eggs. Like I like, I kind of like it when it's like that too. But that's a, it depends on where you're going for a burger. Like there's so many different classes of burgers.

Classes with burgers. But yeah, so like sometimes you want like just a piece of Sure. Like there's so many different classes of burgers. Yeah. Classes with burgers. But yeah, so like sometimes you want like a, just a piece of shit. And so you gotta go to like Steak and Shake. Do you guys have Steak and Shake here? So this is a whole thing. Yeah.

We do have, we did have Steak and Shake here. As someone from the Midwest, you probably have some affection for it. Steak and Shake was acquired in a hostile takeover by this guy, Sartor Biglari, who is basically like a proto-Trump. Like he seems to be wanting to make himself into Trump. He also owns a Maxim magazine.

I wanna vote for him, he's just never running. I wanna vote for him, we wanna vote for him. He's just never gonna run. He hasn't declared yet. But it's a whole thing, so he bought Steak and Shake. Bought Maxim, like you said. He bought Maxim magazine. Maxim magazine, I don't know if it still does,

but for a time it had like his name on the cover along with the title. Maxim by Big Larry. By Big Larry and then Steak and Shake, when he started opening new Steak and Shake, he said Steak and Shake and then underneath in a different font it said by Big Larry. So he's putting his name on everything.

He took the concept national and then completely gutted what people liked about it. Like, you know, cause the menu, it's like, it's got table service, they have things like spaghetti, He took the concept national and then completely gutted what people liked about it. Because the menu, it's got table service, they have things like spaghetti. He took all that shit out, made it a counter service restaurant where you order it in an iPad. And then it's just- The quality wasn't there.

The quality was way worse. And so all those that have opened out here, there was one in Santa Monica, there was one in Burbank, there were hundreds that opened nationwide and then closed, some that opened internationally and then also just closed. So he tried to over-expand and it was just total hubris. He did not catch what was great about the concept. Are the old ones still just operating like normal basically? I would hope so.

I would hope they're kind of untouched because that was the charm of them. That's beautiful to think of, that there's just a... They didn't even know about what was going on out here. Sorry for monologuing at you, but this is like a thing so are the sometimes monologue at our guest We reviewed this chick like we revisit this chain like eight times because Evan Susser who is the commissioner of the doughboys Don't worry about that. But he comes to most of our meals. I'm kind of surprised he didn't show up today. Maybe an indictment of tender greens. Honestly, he comes to a lot of our meals and he's from St. Louis.

Did he know it was a tender greens burger? He may not have. He may not have known. He has a lot of affection for tender greens because he's from St. Louis. And so we reviewed it out here when it came out here and he was just like, this is ridiculous. They completely lost everything that was great about it. I thought he was from DC.

I'm sorry, he's from DC. He lived in St. Louis because he went to college there. He went to Washington. Yeah. Thank you for the correction. Wait, so tender greens is a national chain? Tender greens is not national. Okay.

The tender greens was attempting to go national. They tried to expand to the East Coast, but now they're just in California. So it's just in SoCal in the Bay Area for the most part. I'm texting Suss about your fuck up. Also, this reminds me of there was this guy. What? I'm texting the commissioner about his fuck up.

I love it. There was an actor, I used to work at Steppenwolf Theater in Chicago, and there was an actor that was like in the company, and we always kind of made fun of I mean he was a lovely person He's like a little old dude So it was like kind of cute and he was just like come through the offices and be like like looking for snacks and stuff and like you'd always get food from people and stuff just reminds me of that like cuz you just said the guy comes

To eat the meals and that's it. That's what it sounds like is he just comes in and like Guys commissioner out. There was a term, my buddy Alex Führer, who's a big fan of the show, but I had dinner with him and he told me a Yiddish term, a Shnorer, which I guess is like, it's like exactly that kind of guy. So he just comes around for the meals or something like that. I feel like, didn't you say that to Suss and he was like, he like didn't know, like he was like so-so on it or something like that. I feel like, didn't you say that to Sus? And he was like, ah, he like didn't know, like he was like so-so on it or something.

He was like so-so on it. And then I added that like, I think, I think, then I was like, well, look, he also said that it was like a thing I could say about you. And then Sus was like, that's where I thought this was going, which was like, like, like. But then you said it was like in a lovable way, and then you liked that it was in a lovable way.

He liked that I added that it was in a lovable way. I'll say this, I was with Sus this last, I was with Sus this last weekend on Saturday and this won't be much surprise to you, but we ate burgers. We were at the Red Lion, a great bar, to a birthday party you were invited to, I don't think you came.

It was a late game. Ooh, the playoffs, okay, fair enough. We got a pretzel plate and a sausage plate. And then I was like, and it's a great bar, good German food. And then we were eating the sausage plate and the pretzel. And I was like, are we going to get a burger next door after this? And he's like, absolutely.

We had burgers never say die afterwards. Is that kind of like homemade vibes? I feel like those burgers look, are those the ones that look like that? They're like smash burgers. Smash burgers. Yeah, smash burgers. There's a Quincy connection there and also,

it is like a, it's like a, it's like a, it's kind of, it's very McDonald's-y in a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very good. That's what I think Steak and Shake is, is kind of like a smash burger, I think. I don't know, I just always think of that as like a diner burger, like when they're like smushy

and the cheese is kind of like smushed with them, you know? Some of them are very, some smash burgers almost too thin where you like almost need three patties for it to feel like beef. Right, you can come across a little insubstantial. I got one last, I have one last thought. Yes. How do you eat your oysters?

We didn't talk about that. We didn't talk about oysters. Like raw? What's, well, raw, of course raw, but then also, I know that there's grilled, but then also what's your topping? Okay, I put the mignonette on it. That's really fun.

Same here, same here. Just the way you guys like respond to that made me feel so good. Like I said the right thing. No, but yeah, I put the mignonette and then sometimes. You did say the right, if you said anything else, you would have been ejected from the studio, right, Wives?

But if I was like, I just sprinkle a little bit of sugar on it and be like, get off. I wonder if we'll see a Minionette in Despicable Me 4. Ooh, hey. So far they've all been boys. I get it, I got it. Baby Groot's got a new one. Yeah, I got it.

I got it. I mean, Minionette is pretty good. He got it out though. Listen. Minionette. That was pretty good. That wasn't a retake. Minionette. Okay, bye. Are you sure we don't want to make it a retake? I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I it's a very, it's like a vinegar, right? It's like red wine vinegar. And with onions in it, is that basically what it is?

Yeah, but if they've got like the whole, like this is the thing, if they got multiple sauces, I'm trying all the sauces. Like I'll have everything at some point. Sure, sure, sure, sure. I'll put a little horseradish on it. Oh yeah, hell yeah. Horseradish with the, what's the red sauce?

The cocktail sauce. The cocktail sauce with the horseradish. Many of you guys, how I, cause I didn't like oysters when I was younger, my mom and sister were like the cocktail sauce with the horseradish. Mignonette is how I, cause I didn't like oysters when I was younger, my mom and sister were like, slurping them down, I was like, this is gross. And then mignonette sauce is how I was like, oh, and you're not supposed to, you're just supposed to shoot them down.

It took me a while, I wasn't until I was like, like late teens that I started to like oysters. I got into them, I'm with you. Have you always been into them or did you have to come? I think, I think like, I think, no, I think it to come? I think it's fairly universal where at first you're like, kind of this is gross and I don't want anything to do with this and then it came around on them. I think when I finally tried them, I was like, okay.

And then I had to get over the hurdle of, cause you'll sometimes get one that tastes a little off, which is like a thing. And then also you gotta power past that, but then also just like sand for some people, like the gristle of sand can be really off-putting, but I don't really mind it that much. That's the one thing that makes me rethink it

is when I get a little sand, I'm like, ooh, cause it's also just like hurts your teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, oh God, what is that? But yeah, I feel like that's kind of, it's kind of like, I always wonder if I like oysters or I like the stuff you put on them Yeah, yeah, cuz it's the same thing of when I put the minion head on I'm like, oh, yeah, it's perfect now

But I do think it's I like oysters like yeah, but I would just Taste of the ocean and that's what yeah, I like seafood just in general. Honestly, I'm pretty much a fan of any seafood So I've been way more I've been way more seafood this year, which has been I think only a good thing for me I love seafood. We're both from the coasts. We're both near the ocean. We should be in the sea. Opposite coasts, but it's true.

Yeah. That's right. It's true, Wags. It's true. It is true. Mitch, it's true. Mitch, I got myself a dilemma. I already have everything.

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Wigs, I've benefited from therapy. Every time I've been doing it, I've done it for years off and on. We've talked about it before. Yeah. It's like taking your mind to the gym. Right. Getting the gunk out. You're feeling heavy, you got to talk stuff out.

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we reviewed it once before in 2017, three forks all around. It was founded in 2006 by Eric Oberholzer in the Culver City, at the Culver City location that's still standing, was the original. And he was someone who worked in just sort of hospitality generally and decided to go off on his own. Apparently he's now a hundred million dollar business, which is crazy to think about. Tender Greens is? Yeah. And it has around 30 locations only in California, as I mentioned, and they released the Tender Greens burger this year. $100 million business, only 30 locations.

It doesn't seem possible. Maybe those numbers are skewed. It's pretty wild, look. But I think they also do a lot of catering and stuff too. Before the podcast started, this was a Golden Play Club place for me. I really liked Tender Greens at one point. Yeah, I think it's declined a little bit.

I think there used to be a thing, like, and Nicole, I don't know if you remember this iteration of tender greens, but there used to be more of like a cafeteria sort of service, like you'd go there and they kind of ask you what you wanted up top and they kind of be putting your plate together as you went down the line.

And now it's much more of just like, that's just an assembly line. And I think most of their business is to go orders, but that even predates the pandemic. Like they had already shifted to that. Oh yeah, I remember when they started the pandemic, I got a grocery box from there. I forgot about that. Oh wow, yeah.

So weird, I remember when people were doing that, right? And you pay like 40 bucks, whatever you get like some bananas and grapefruit in a box. Yeah, like a sack of flour. How did we do that? I know. I don't even remember why we did that. Cause the grocery stores are open. Anyway, whatever, who knows.

No one knew what to do was the thing. No one knew what the hell to do. I think also that was like some, there were some places where it was like, oh, this is a local bakery. I knew what to do. You knew what to do? You knew what to do, Mitch.

I stayed inside, can't think, fucking, it was kept it normal. He was cuddling with cats and chilling. He was cuddling with cats. Making tell boys on some, he didn't care. Watching some TV, that's what we did. The old saying wags, napping, jacking, napping, crapping. Stop.

Jacking, napping, crapping. It was originally, yours originally was napping, crapping and fapping, which was a better rhyme. That's what it is, fapping. Fapping, and it's such a great word that we don't use enough. It's a great word. I love that. Why did you go there? It's fapping fapping and it's such a great word that we don't use a great

Why did you go there why are you talking about jacking off what oh it's human dude Things didn't change that much for me, that's all I'm saying I mean for real though. I was staying home. I was unemployed I was like, this is not new I mean, for real though, I was staying home, I was unemployed, I was like, this is not new. This is literally exactly what I was doing before. So I will say that the burger, which is a seasonal item, and I'm trying to bring up the description here, I had it in front of me, I got it on Friday, and we were having this order that we ate at Headgum today,

but I live near a tender greens. So I got it in person. I just wanted to experience what it was like. Cause you know, sometimes a burger doesn't necessarily, a burger and fries doesn't necessarily travel the best. So I feel like I got the best iteration of this burger. And I think the burger is okay. Right? Like is this burger exciting?

I don't know. What did you think Mitch? I think the burger is better than I thought it was gonna be. It's better than I thought it was going to be. It's better than I thought it was going to be. But I also think it's like, is it that much better than OK? Or is it just at the OK threshold? I mean, why are they doing it is a big question. It's like, why are they, why is the burger on the menu? But the bun is pretty good. I know you're not a bum, but that sesame seed bun.

I do like the sesame seed bun, yes. It's pretty good. The burger, the patty itself is decent. I think where the big issue with the burger is, and I don't even think it's bad because it is like, Tender Greens has quality lettuce, but the lettuce is pretty big and it's sliding around like those tomatoes a little bit.

Falling out the cart. And it's fallen out of the burger. Yeah. And but those to me were kind of the bigger hurdle was the these big lettuce pieces that were sliding around. Yeah, it's just like a big, big slab of like romaine. Right. Is that what it is? Yeah, I don't know. It might have been butter. Yeah, maybe. Or butter lettuce. I can't tell what it was.

But the sauce was decent, the pickles were good. I have thoughts on the pickles. What's that? I have thoughts on the pickles. Oh, interesting, were they too fancy? Disgusting. Wow, okay. And you know why I say this,

and I think people who agree with me, they were bread and butter pickles. That's disgusting. This is the thing, bread and butter pickles on the burger I think were, yeah, I would have liked something a little bit more sour. They were bread and butter pickles. That's disgusting. This is the thing, bread and butter pickles on the burger I think were, yeah, I would have liked something a little bit more sour. They were too sweet. So the burger, it's a beef patty,

which is a blend of a chuck and hanger. It is Monterey Jack cheese, bistro sauce, which they don't describe, but it's like kind of like, it's a naoli, lettuce, pickles on a sesame bun. Yes, I didn't know it was getting bread and butter pickles going in. I just heard pickles and I assumed they were gonna be dill pickles.

They're really sweet. I feel like you have to warn people. You gotta give them a trigger warning if you're gonna give them bread and butter pickles. Cause that's just, I think those are the worst pickles. I'm a big pickle fan too, so I'm pretty sensitive to it. What's your go-to? It's a mix of, do you say mix of chuck and, what is it?

Chuck and brisket, or chuck and hanger. Yeah. Those are like the characters I auditioned for, I feel like. Brisket and hanger. Chuck and brisket or Chuck and hanger. Yeah. Yeah. Those are like the those are like the characters I audition for I feel like Read for Chuck and read for hanger That's hilarious I wait what were we just talking pickles? Yeah, what kind of pickles do I like? Yeah. Okay, so That's hilarious. Wait, were we just talking pickles? Yeah. What kind of pickles do I like?

Yeah. Okay, so, oh gosh, so many thoughts. No, okay, so if you're getting cheap, shitty pickles, I like really, they're like almost neon green hamburger pickles. Sure. And they gotta, I feel like they should be on every hamburger because that's just what they're, they're so good.

And they're good on sandwiches. Like a McDonald's pickle, basically? Yeah, pretty much. And then, like the ones in the jars at the grocery store, the cheap ones, though. I just think when people try to do the jars at the grocery store, the cheap ones though. I just think when people try to do basic foods too nice, it gets kind of gross. They're a little fancy.

I enjoyed the pickles. I had no problem with them, but I can get why people wouldn't like them. But they are, they were a little fancy tasting, a little sweet, but I liked them. Also they weren't, I shouldn't say disgusting, cause they did go well with the burger, I would say. But I would never eat bread and butter.

I have a very version to them. But yeah, those are the, I like like half sour pickles. I didn't like bread. I'll eat it though. Like I liked the bread on that one, on the burger. But bread, half of bread and butter pickles, I think is what Mitch was saying. Oh yeah, that's why.

That could be the issue, that's what I'm saying. But my thing is it doesn't taste like bread nor butter. It doesn't, I don't know the etymology of bread and butter pickles. And it's not, it's sweet. I wonder what the sweetness is. That's my I'm saying. It could be a thing. But my thing is it doesn't taste like bread nor butter. It doesn't. I don't know the etymology of bread and butter pickles. Right? And it's not, it's sweet. I wonder what the sweetness is. That's my problem with it. I agree with you that I think those pickles

were ill-suited for this burg. I think they were too sweet. I think it had like a pungent character to it that just made me dislike the whole thing overall. Like with those bites when I was getting a lot of pickle, I was like, this feels unbalanced. I also will say, I asked the guy at Tender Grainz, I said, have you tried the burger?

And he said, he said, yeah, it's okay. His thought was the patty is too meatball-y. So I had that in my head of like, it kinda- I didn't, I disagree with that. I don't agree with it either. But he was like that the way the patty is formed, he thought it would work better as in a meatball sub form factor,

as opposed to like a burger patty. So- What a really, did you tell him that you like do food stuff for a living? No. I'm like, why would he? That's such a specific thing to say. It's too meatbally.

Yeah. But I actually do kind of get it because I just thought it was very thick, cooked to the max, which I think gave it less. Mine was super well done. I thought the flavor was good because it's like a broiled tasting burger or something, but it was like, yeah, it was like smoky,

but it was just too cooked maybe, so that's maybe why he doesn't like it. Which is interesting. In my opinion, nothing can be too meatball-y. I don't think it's a bad thing. That's actually a great point, meatballs are delicious. it, which is interesting. My opinion, nothing can be too meatbally. I don't think it's a bad thing. That's actually a great point. Meatballs are delicious. Yeah, meatballs are great.

Like, what are we doing here? Why don't we want to eat meatballs all the time? Hey, that's that was the whale's downfall. That's so funny. All he do is eat meatballs. The whale's downfall is why I don't know if you've seen the movie The Whale. Brendan Fraser's. Oh, no, I didn't see it.

I watched it. His downfall. He ate meatballs. I guess his downfall is I didn't see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna watch it. His downfall. He ate meatballs. I guess his downfall is meatballs, I guess. It kinda is. It's kinda the story of that. Everything about the whale seems like, that's not a real movie, is it?

Then he got nominated for Oscar, so. No, it's not. Not only is it a real movie, it's the movie we talk about the most. That's so funny. We've referenced the whale more than anything else, possibly. That's hilarious. That's a guy who was doing napping, crapping, and fapping.

Yeah, it certainly was. You know, it was basically his whole life. He probably did not notice pandemic. I thought that, I don't know if I'd go above three forks for the burger itself, right? Like, is that, that's not a four fork, considering the breadth of quality of burgers that are out there, do you think that's above a three-fork burger?

I was just wondering if COVID disrupted the porn industry, which the whale would then notice, hey, where are the new releases? Hey, I was doing, where'd it go? How did I get that? Literally, when I get on podcasts and cameras are for me. You don't know if that's a Meatball sub he's holding, or who knows what he's doing there.

He's doing a little bow. Oh, he is. He is, yeah. He is, he is. I wonder if Coach. I mean, and we mean this sincerely. If you watch the whale, he jacks off and eats Meatball subs for real in the opening five minutes.

Yeah. Great movie. What's wrong with that life? Why he seems so sad in the previews, then? He's living. That's what I'm saying. He's jacking a fapping and eating. Come on!

A fapping and eating all day? What was it? Wait, what did you say? What was your question? I got- Oh, three forks for the burger. Oh yeah, more than three forks. Yes.

I was gonna say three, but also I think that we have, I feel like there's tiers of burgers. So it's like we should put it in a category and then rate it. Based off of those ones. Yeah, I mean like- I think that we have, I feel like there's tiers of burgers. So it's like we should put it in a category and then rate it based off of those ones. Yeah, I mean like- I like that. Well, cause it wasn't like a fancy, fancy burger.

No, no, no. Like if you're, from a taxonomical standpoint, I'm just trying to think of like where it lands in that burger hierarchy. Because it's like, it's kind of like the mid category of burger, like it's like trying to be like an upscale burger, but it's not all the way of of like the like you go to a gastropub or something You're gonna get a fancier burger. That's gonna be an off the ball. That's yeah, that's a that's a Burger King

And then there's like yeah, there's like the fine dining burger What's the one that the Ludo burger that's out here? I can't remember the name of the restaurant. Ludo burger? No, Ludo is the chef. He's got like the French chef who's got a petit-trois. Oh, yes. Oh, petit-trois burger is like, that's what I think it was like the high-end,

like upscale burger. You're thinking of the Big Mac? The Big Mac, yeah. And that's like every element is elevated. It's like a fine dining chef. It's not quite there. it's not on that level. I also am always kind of disappointed by those burgers. But like- That one is awesome, have you had it?

I mean, it is good, it is good, but it's just so rich. I mean like- Yeah, sure. I give this burger three and a half forks, I think it was better than I thought. That's fair, that's reasonable. I thought it was a decent, for tender greens, it's too bad that this didn't exist back in the writers room days.

I guess there still is writers rooms kind of. They kind of exist. That's what someone's saying. There's a few shows that are still exist. There's a few out there. But, Jimmy's licking my hand. I know, I just saw it. Cute, very cute.

But if this existed back then, I think that it. Cute, very cute. She used to be hurt. But if this existed back then, I think that it would make some of those writers happy when I was like, I'm going to Tender Greens, because people will be mad. I think that there's a big, we'll get into more of Tender Greens, but I don't know if they should be doing the burger. I don't know if it's helping their business.

I have no idea. They're trying something. They're trying something. To me, it was just that there was a quality decline and it happened like six, seven years ago. I don't know. I mean, around when I got the paper towel on my salad. But I thought when I went there, it's like, hey, it's slightly overpriced for salads,

but I'm going to get a Chipotle barbecue chicken salad and it's going to be really good. And then something happened where the quality went downhill and now I think they're trying to figure things out. Whatever, I just think it's that thing with chains. There's like now sweet green is the king of salads. And it will be for a while until people stop liking sweet green and there's a new one. Well, sweet green is also like so much bigger now.

It's national, it's fully national. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They have like huge lines, people love sweet green. When tender greens was at its best, I liked it way more than I liked sweet green. I still like it more than sweet green. I will say as like, I think sweet greens quality level is maybe a little bit higher,

but I also just think like this is the- Which is crazy because that wasn't the case. That wasn't always the case. Yeah. I can go and have a good time at Tender Greens. Like what you were talking about, I can get myself a plate with like a protein, some greens and some mashed potatoes.

And I'm like, that's like kind of like a fun meal that's not also like this crazy indulgence. Absolutely. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I remember when I was in the writers room, because Tender Greens would never have, I would never pick it, like if they gave an option, I mean, I don't know. But it is nice because it's like they slice the steak, because tender greens would never have, I would never pick it, like if they gave an option. But it is nice because it's like they slice the steak,

because it's like the style I like to, they slice the steak up snack style. And it's just like at home, that's exactly what I make. A piece of meat, arugula, olive oil, lemon, and like Parmesan. Like it's just so, it's simple. And I like to eat like simply sometimes like that. So that's why it works, when it works.

Yeah, and so they have some more complicated things they've tried and they've also, that includes some of the other things we got, which one of which is a pasta dish they're doing now. I ordered that Nana's pasta set, right? Was it Nana's pasta? It's Nana's pasta. It is tomato sauce, fusilli pasta

and grated Pecorino cheese. And along with that, we also got a side of their mac and cheese, which is fusilli, Parmesan, cheddar, mozzarella cheese, and breadcrumbs. What I'll say about this mac and cheese, you could have told me there was no cheese and I would have believed you. I thought it was just pretty flavorless.

Am I wrong? Pretty flavorless and kind of a dry guy. Yeah, kind of a dry guy. Who was a dry guy? Yeah, that was a disappointment for sure. I feel like, because that's one thing that like fast food restaurants can do really well. And I think because you can make it real shitty,

like mac and cheese. Yeah, for sure. Like Kentucky fried chicken has really good mac and cheese. And like restaurants like that were like super creamy and delicious, but yeah, it was dry. It was definitely dry and pretty flavorless. It's like they tried to elevate it, but they like lost the core.

You know, like it was, the Parmesan cheddar mozzarella cheese, like I get it, you're throwing three cheeses in there, but like the kind of, the sauce they ended up with, whatever it is, it just didn't seem to come together. That was a disappointment for sure. The mashed potatoes still, I know you tried some of them.

I got a side of mashed potatoes. They were still pretty good. You got those hot on one of those plates, I feel like it would still be decent. I genuinely like their mashed potatoes. They don't have any today, but that's a go-to for me if I go to Tender Greens. And honestly, I'll also say,

maybe I'll say this again in my wrap-up, I probably go to Tender Greens at least twice a month still. I'm not thrilled to go to Tender Greens at least twice a month still. I'm not thrilled to go to Tender Greens, but it's a solid place I can go to, where again, I know I can get something that's not gonna be extremely caloric. What did you think of that Nonna's pasta? I mean, it's just a funny menu item.

It was also huge. They give you a fucking chafing dish worth. And that's a standard order. I don't know why it's on the menu. It was also huge. They give you like a fucking chafing dish worth. Yeah, yeah. And that's a standard order. I don't know why it's on the menu. I don't, it is confusing to me, but it's not bad. I mean, it was like, that to me was like a three out of five or something, it was very in the middle. Didn't that feel like a thing that like,

oh, this would make sense if this was on the kid's menu. But for this to be on the regular menu, like I don't quite understand what it's doing there. There is an option to get it on the kids menu, but it was also, like it was one in the bowls option. It was one of those options, which I know you got a bowl. I got a bowl. I got the California with Chipotle barbecue chicken bowl,

roasted butternut squash salsa, cilantro, lime brown rice, cabbage slaw, queso fresco, pepitas, and lime crema. That sounds good, was it not? It was fine. I mean, you were talking about your paper towel issue and what you thought that was a piece of chicken. Yes, my paper towel issue. Yeah.

What do you want me to call it? I had a little bit of an issue. Is paper towel trauma? I had a little bit of an issue with the paper towel being in my dish. Your paper towel situation, your paper towel memory. Yeah, yeah, my paper towel mishap by Tender Greens. Yeah, your paper towel mishap.

Yes. By what's that guy's name? The Laurie. By Big Laurie. Yeah. Tender Greens mishap by that guy. So there was a word that Emma used to describe a bad piece of chicken you had there. That was gummy.

Is that correct? You had a gummy piece of chicken in what was it a plate? I used to get like they have like a fried chicken plate or southern fried chicken plate or something that I used to get all the time when I first moved to LA and I loved it and then I got one that had like really gummy chicken and I was like, okay, maybe it's just a bad day and then I got it a few more times and it was the same thing. So I don't know if they switched their chicken provider or what, but I kind of stopped ordering it. This is the issue to me as like going into Tender Greens in 2007, 2008, of course, before they got huge,

but you would see them chopping up chicken. You would see like this hot chicken, you'd see these hot mashed potatoes that are made in store. It's coming off the grill. It's coming off the grill. They got a fucking fork in it and they're carving it right there. Yes, you're like, oh man, like there were chances

sometimes that the chicken could be undercooked, which is bad, but also it's that sort of thing of like, oh, they are cooking it there on a grill. Now you don't see that at all. You don't see a grill. I mean, like all of that. I think you could see the grill, but it's like they're doing it a little bit higher volume.

At the Culver City location, I feel like the grills are like in the back now and other. It depends on the, depends on the restaurant. The Glendale one, you're not seeing them grill stuff up or anything like that. But it just was like, oh look, those are fresh potatoes that were made fresh and they're putting a spoon in it and mixing it

as opposed to like what we got today in a plastic container and the top of it looks solid. I know it was delivered or whatever, but it's that sort of thing of like, this doesn't feel like freshly made mashed potatoes in restaurant. It just, it feels different. Why, because back in the day,

much like the Cowherly Lion, I'd get to turn around and go, let me at it, let me at him. He's so good! That's what I'd say, that's what I'd want, and but now, you know, I... Put em up. Put em up.

Shit, that's fucking better. Of course. You should have been a crow. That's fucking ridiculous. They missed their opportunity to have this... They fucked up big time. Look at his hair. It's lion hair. Come on. But you know what? Maybe like the Tin Man, they got no heart.

You know what I was gonna say, though, actually, that what you're making is a... And I know I'm gonna take it to the next level, but it's a big You know what I was going to say though, actually, what you're making is a, and I know I'm going to take it to the next level, but it's a big statement on, in general, just stuff, in general, right? Think about like the clothes, when you went to, back in the day, clothes were made quality, they were made to last, they were made for long.

Now everything's made for speed, get it out as quickly as possible, same with music, same with entertainment, it's not as much of a like, let's focus on the preparation of it, but like, let's make as much as we can of it. Yes. We've gotten ourselves to this point. It's our own fault.

It's a social failing. Yeah, the country is falling apart. But I think it's also like on a global scale. This November, things will change. R.F.K. Jr. I think it's like, what you're just talking about, like fast fashion, I always think of like,

oh yeah, I used to get clothes that lasted and now I feel like I get a shirt and it falls apart in a year. Certainly not anything from Kinship Goods, our merchandise partner. But like I'll get something that's like so cheaply made and they've just decided that it makes more economic sense because we're only thinking those terms

for them to make something that's super cheap and falls apart that you just throw out and get another one of. As opposed to something that's gonna last that even that you can repair, you know what I mean? That you could like stitch up or something like that. It's just like, no, everything's so disposable now. It's like everything is basically single use plastic.

It's maddening. And yeah, that's certainly have been the case with the food supply. To watch, to watch. To know how quality has degraded. Yeah. To watch tender greens transform is just like a part of, and also Mendo feels kind of similar

when I think of Mendocino Farms, a place I also liked quite a bit. Here's a national example. Here's a one that people have everywhere. I feel like Chipotle has gone through the same cycle. Right? Chipotle was a little better 10 years ago. I think people asked for too many extra ingredients. I feel like Chipotle has gone through the same cycle. Yeah. Right? Chipotle was a little better 10 years ago. I think people asked for too many extra ingredients.

I feel like that sounds like I'm joking, and I kind of am, but I feel like Chipotle lost their minds. They're like, we're done, we can't do this anymore. Because you'd see people just piling on the cheese and the sour cream, and they'd be like, more? I feel like they were just like, we have to find the way to make this cheaper, so let's just give them shitty stuff now.

It's that sort of thing of, I think that, I agree with you, I think that it is a thing of all these people cash out too, you know what I mean? Like so many of these corporations, they make a restaurant, then some big company buys them and they cash out. Yeah. Which I guess you can't blame business owners

for doing that. Yeah, I didn't see if this place is owned by private equity now or whatever. I'm sure at some point there had to have had, there must have been money that came into it and then they must have changed the way that they got there. I don't believe that it's the same way it was when it started.

I can't believe that. Yeah. But maybe it is, maybe it is, who knows? It's not cool, but it'll be interesting if you notice it. Like if it's that noticeable. Yeah, I'm trying to see if I can have any context of there's been a transfer in ownership or whatever. But I will say that, so I asked Emma

because when I was biting into my chicken, I thought of like, this is gummy. Like I got to one piece and I was like, this is unpleasant in that same sort of way. And I think gummy is yummy, but not in this case. Not in this context. He thinks gummy's not yummy. I think gummy's not yummy.

Wait, are you talking about candy or something? Yeah, he doesn't like gummy bears. I don't like gummies. Oh my God, that's my favorite kind of candy. Yeah. Gummy's yummy, I'm on his team. I'm team gummy. Yeah, I'm team, I was gonna try to say cool,

but I backed out. I know, I wanted you to, I was waiting for it. I was like, do it Mitch. I'm team gummy. Ah! Yes! That's my dude. That's Mitch right there on the mic.

He's seeing gummy with me. So I think the other thing is with this bowl and you run into this bowl sometimes is like there's so much stuff that it's that like there's so much of that it's that like, there's so much of the cheap stuff. Like they just pile it in with like the rice to just sort of like make it feel

like you're getting value for it, but it ends up being unbalanced. You're getting a lot of bites of just like dry rice. And I don't know, I prefer their plates or their salads over their bowls, which I don't normally get, but I wanna get something different. I still like that Chipotle barbecue chicken salad, but it did just change over time or it was like, it used to be like a well-mixed salad.

Right, just to be clear, I'm describing the bowl as most of the salads. I know you are, but I'm just saying, this is, the bowl maybe is the way to go now, but then like you're saying, it seems- I don't know, I think that the salad's better balanced. But I think that this is the issue, is that they did this weird thing where it's like,

you pick your protein and you do this, so now when you get the barbecue chicken salad, it's so much more like, hey, we took the protein from here and we chop it up and we put it in your salad. Where when it started, it was like, this is a salad we're creating. Right. You know what I mean? Where now it's like, how would you like your protein? You want it in a plate or do you want it in a bowl or whatever? And I think that it hasn't helped, I guess. Yeah.

I just I feel like when I get that salad, I'm like, okay, so here's some chopped up chicken, here's a ton of lettuce, and it doesn't feel like it was like a mixed chopped salad in any way. Yeah. What do we think of the fries that came with the burger? Not great. They're kind of wedges. Wedges, we have wedgie potato fries.

They're not, they weren't great. I did not hate them. And I was surprised because I don't, I normally like really thin fries, but I thought they were good. I was like, no, not bad. And I liked the flavor. That felt the most homemade to me, which is funny,

because it wasn't amazing or anything. It was good to me. When I got them on Friday, I was surprised that they had a little bit more crispness than I. Oh, OK. They looked like they were going to be just chewy. And maybe they were today. I don't know.

We got an extra side of those for some reason. Did we order those? I don't know. They just said, just take these, we don't want them. We gave up, we make pasta now, we don't know. It's true, it is confused. But it is, I really do think when a menu starts to do that, you're like, are you guys good?

Like, why are you doing this? Especially because they get successful doing a thing and then they're like, we can do it all. And it's like, no, you really can't. There's this slice place, there's this pizza shop that's not bad, that's near where we live, but they started doing a chicken sandwich, like a fried chicken sandwich,

and I'm just like, why are you doing this? Even if you execute it well, you're a pizza place. You're a slice joint. Get your house in order, don't be expanding things that they're outside of your domain. Because even if it's well executed. It's identity crisis-wide. Exactly, it's identity crisis, it's so confusing.

If it's a midlife crisis, we get it, we're here for you. And we hope you get over it soon, but yeah, it's like, what are you doing? Yeah. Yeah, I think with the pizza, it feels the pizza, it just, it feels to me like if they're gonna do something like that, they might as well just do like vegetarian meals that are more interesting or vegan meals

that are more interesting, not like chicken sandwich. I was like, what, that's not doing anything. It's just this- Or gluten-free, whatever, yeah. It's the sort of thing of, it feels like everything in this world where you did a thing and you did it well. If you kept up the quality,

I think people would stick around. But like, you try to expand or you try to make it bigger, you try to make things different, why? Keep up that great quality, why? Because that's all you gotta do. The places that end, that's a great point, Mitch, because the places that endure are places that have like, they know what they do and they stick to it.

And they just deliver that level of consistency over a long stretch of time. This goes back to the, excuse me if I interrupt, the Kansas City barbecue idea where I was telling you like the shitty ones in the middle of nowhere, those are the spots. I mean, you know, there's great new restaurants, obviously always, but yeah, I do agree. It's like they could just stick with what they know and keep it going and then you'll be good. Like there's no need to, I don't know, everybody just wants more money.

It's capitalism. Yeah. It's a bum just wants more money. It's all, it's capitalism. But no, it's a bummer. It is. It's a bummer. Anyway, subscribe for more content at patreon.com slash doughboys. And also if you like the show, we're gonna start doing different and new stuff. We're gonna mix it up.

Yeah. We'll just try it. We're gonna try stuff. Yeah. Oh, you guys are joking. Okay, I was like, I was like, what? And then I'm like, oh wait, we just had a conversation. Oh, really cool, joking. OK, I was like, what? And then I'm like, oh, wait, we just had a conversation. Oh, really? Cool.

Nicole. Mitch and Nick's pasta salad. You want a pasta salad? Do you want one? We'll make it. We'll try it. What if this became a cooking show suddenly, and you guys started making food?

It could be. Why not? We want a cooking show. We'll make it a cooking show. What do you guys want? Give us $20. We'll do anything. You want Mitch to marry Jemmy?

We'll get him legally married. They'll be husband and wife. He'll dress up as a cowardly lion. Whatever. And we'll go all the way. We will. Jemmy's nuts. Eat your ass. Eat your ass.

Just comes back with double pink eye. He's like, I did it for you. I did it for us. I went down on a dog. Just talking like. All right, okay, sure, sure. Who knew this episode on Tender Greens would end up in bestiality?

Those are most of the episodes end, honestly. Okay, cool, cool, cool. I would never do anything dirty with you, baby. No, no, Jemmy, sorry. That's out of. Hey, Jemmy, she's like, what? That's inappropriate. She's like, I was No, no, Jemi, sorry. That's out of, that's inappropriate. She's like, I was sleeping, I'm okay.

We should touch on the dessert we got, which was, and unless there's any other food I missed. The pozole though, did that, was that? Oh, the pozole, yeah, yeah. I didn't have that, but I wanna talk about it because I was like, what? They're making everything now. Yeah, so they have a couple of soups

and they recently added the pozole. I've had the pozole in store. Again, I they have a couple of soups and they recently added the bazole. I've had the bazole in store. Again, I eat at this place like more than I realize. I didn't know that you were here at all. I'm interested, I know, I'm like, oh. I think it's just cause it's like, it's sometimes like, oh, I'm getting a lunch out. You know, there's one at like the shopping center

or whatever. The ones in New York, you probably, I feel like are probably better. The one on Sunset's closed. Oh, that's the only one I've ever been to. Wow. I think so. That used one I've ever been to. Wow. I think so. That used to be a high volume location. The one in Hollywood?

Yeah. That's where the food came from today. Nevermind. Unless they moved, they may be moved, but it was from Tender Greens Hollywood. Okay, so the desserts were, we got an apple cobbler, which I thought sucked. Good cobblers I've had in my life

have like a crumbly quality to it, which this one did not have at all. I just don't know what it was. It felt like we had like a layer of pastry and then a layer of apple. It was bad. Some ice cream on the side, but I was just like, how could you even call this a cobbler, right? The cobbler sucks.

Did you have it? I did, I had a little taste. I think what you're kind of describing, this is like the theme a little bit of Tender Greens, is like they put things on a plate, but they don't necessarily go together all that well, or like they didn't pick out the best combos. So I think it's like they're not thinking it

all the way through. And the cobbler was like very, yeah, to me it just tasted like a bowl of mush, kind of, it was like mushy too. I was extremely disappointed when you decided to chop this up and split it up for us, which was a nice gesture. I forget to portion it out a little bit. Yeah, you were in your car, your plut phase.

One quarter portion. For all of us. And I was like, okay. And then you just turned it into a big gloopy mess. But then I was looking at it and I was like, this is going to taste like shit, but it's not Nick's fault. Thank you, Mitch. You did a bad job, it's not Nick's fault. Thank you, Mitch. You did a bad job, but it wasn't your fault. I'll take it. He was, it was like, as you were cutting through it,

I was like, that's very bready. Yeah. Like a cake above the apples. And then it just, it did not, it didn't work at all. Maybe, I mean, like maybe if we had that thing, the hottest and freshest it was, it would be a different experience, but it was not good.

I'm looking at their dessert menu. I got, they have a chocolate chip cookie, a salted caramel cookie. I would hope those are good. I'd never get desserts from here. I bet they're good. Cookies are easy ones. That's what I feel like they should be doing.

I don't know if they need to be doing an apple cobbler or an olive oil cake. They also have a flourless chocolate cake and a carrot cupcake. See, they're trying to be like a nicer restaurantbbler or an olive oil cake. They also have a flourless chocolate cake and a carrot cupcake. See, they're trying to be like a nicer restaurant than they are, I think. I actually worked at a restaurant,

like that small place place I was talking about did that, where it's like their pizzas were the best thing. But then they always had to make these stupid like, oh, see, Urchinon, that's that big on a spoon. And you're like, why are we doing this? Like, just be what you're, like, do the thing you're good at. And also we don't need all the other stuff because it's just confusing.

I was in line at Tender Greens Hollywood. And you know, it's Hollywood, so there's some celebrities there. Yeah, sure. At Tender Greens? At Tender Greens, I mean, just in Tender Greens Hollywood, just in Hollywood, Popeye was in line. Yeah, sure.

And he said, they said olive oil cake, and he was so distraught. You know, he was like. Yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Is that the sound he makes? No, he was so, he said, olive oil cake, and he said, okay, okay, okay, okay. What is that sound he makes? No, he was so, he was like, he's olive oil cake and he said, no, no, no, relax.

It's not your wife. It's not made of your wife. It's a cake made with olive oil. And then they gave him spinach and he beat their ass. He's like, don't touch my wife. You will leave her alone. And then people, I mean,

people were asking for pictures with me and him. Yeah, they're like, hey, hey, can we get a picture of picture with you and Bluto? Who's Bluto? Wait, what? Popeye's enemy. I'll show you a picture of him. Oh, now I have to see it,

because it's a reference to, oh, I love this. But honestly, you could have gone with, who's the hamburger guy? Wimpy? You could have gone with Wimpy. I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. I mean, look, I kind of wish I looked like Bluto. He looks cool as hell.

Oh yeah, he cool as hell. Yeah, you totally look like Bluto. You should wear that for Halloween. You do look like Bluto. I do kind of look like Bluto. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, like this is like, what the fuck, legs? This is kind of close to it.

I am what I am. He has such little teeny legs. Anyways, yeah, I saw Popeye at Tender Greens. Cool story. I really thought you were joking. And then I was like, that's such a specific reference, that would be really weird.

No, it didn't, it happened. Did you see any one of your Tender Greens? I actually did. Okay, this is a weird. Oh, all right. This is, no, this is not a bit. This is a weird thing about that Tender Greens location. So there was an actor, Reggie Brown,

who used to be the Obama impersonator that Funny or Die would use when I worked there. I remember him. And a lovely man. And we went and got Tender Greens, it was like me and him and like Alex Rickenback or someone, I don't remember who it was. But we got Tender Greens and it was like,

just happened to be like the day after the 2012 election It would have been right the Romney Obama election. Mm-hmm, and He does like look a lot like Obama He's like an Obama impersonator and so people were coming up and like congratulating him But it was like a layer it was like a layer of like they knew that he was they could tell that he was an impressionist So they were like, hey, congrats on, you're gonna get more work because Obama won again. It was a really strange layer to it.

And were they like, sorry for your loss? Did they think you were Romney? Yeah, they thought I was Romney. Hilarious. This was like an in-person concession. That was on time and nailed it. They're together, you guys are together? You guys are together?

They're running mates the whole time. I thought you were gonna, I didn't know what you were going to say, but it's just like, that's such a funny thing to say, like congratulations to an impersonator. I remember when Sarah Cooper was doing her like Trump things, she was like, doing her Trump things, and she had people saying like, I hope Trump wins

so you get to keep doing it or whatever. And she was like, no, right. Don't want that to happen. I don't like him. She's got another opportunity this year. She gonna be busy soon enough. I'll be sleeping. I'll give me some Xanax.

I'll just go to bed forever. But no, yeah, it's a, it's a weird thing that people think that they're like, Hey, congrats on your work because that person won the thing. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I wish you get to our final thoughts on tender grains. Also, I saw Gru there from Despicable Me.

That was the other guy. Oh my gosh. You like Despicable Me, huh? I gotta watch those minions. You sure do. I gotta go see them again. Wait till you see the Minionette. Ooh, wee.

Jemmy. Jemmy just left. Emma got up and Jemmy, when there was any chance for Jemmy to not be with us, it's good to know that she would take it immediately. She's so gone when Emma gets up. Ruff, did Mitch really wanna bury me? No, Jemmy, he was joking.

Aw. Ruff, is it in? Oh my gosh. Bitch, no. Emma's gonna edit this episode. She didn't hear that now, cause she left the room. She's gonna hear this later.

Sorry. She's gonna know you said that. Emma, sorry, I love you, sorry. I didn't mean it, sorry. Just kidding. And I love Jemmy. Just kidding. I would never do that to any dog.

Not only Jemmy, not to any dog. It's like a chiron at the bottom of the screen. I would not fuck dogs. All right. Jemmy asking if it's in means that there's a possibility it wasn't. Right. Yeah. You're right.

No, you're right, Mitch. You're plausible to deny it. She asked if it was in means it's close. Right. Yeah, you're right. No, you're right Mitch. You're plausible tonight This podcast yeah, sorry about this. Yeah, sorry Hey wags, did you know learning actually makes a sound? It's true. Listen. Wow! That's the sound of you learning a new language with Babbel.

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-♪ BABBEL THEME SONG PLAYING. -♪ So, Nicole, what we're gonna do,'re going to go around and say our closing argument, if you will, on this chain on Tender Greens, and then end by giving it a score from zero to five forks. You're our guest. We'll begin with you. Your thoughts, your fork score out of five. I think for what it is, I liked how you did three and a half because my reaction is to

say three, but I wanted to go more towards the positive. So three and a half because my reaction is to say three, but I wanted to go more towards the positive. So three and a half. I think that it's a good spot to get like a little bit of an elevated fast food lunch. Sure. I think they should pair down their menu to just be what they were before, protein and like a lettuce or like protein and a bread,

whatever it is. And yeah, you know, no bread and butter pickles ever or else jail. Yeah. Yeah. That's my final thoughts, I think, yeah. And what's your score? Oh, three and a half.

Three and a half, okay. Three and a half works. That's a good score. Good score. I'm gonna stick with that, yeah. Three and a half. Go ahead, Mitch. It's funny because honestly, I think that today

was probably better than what we had last time we went here. Interesting. I don't know. I mean, like it was a lot of weird. For the podcast. It was a lot of weird different things today. And I, and look, I think Tender Greens would be doing better

if they only had some consistency wigs. That's what I think. Yeah. I kind of half-assed the currently lying there. I hoped you did. I was gonna say something, but I just like. I lost half-assed the carly line there. I hoped you did. I was going to say something, but I just... I lost the role in the last minute. That happens.

They only had whatever you did. All that stuff. Thank you. If they only had some consistency, if they had some heart, I feel like they feel like a confused chain. Oh, I see what Emma was doing. I feel like they feel very... There's an identity crisis going on there.

And I think if they were just, hey, this is what we do, it's simple. And maybe that didn't work at a larger scale, you know what I mean? Maybe that was the issue, but still, then maybe it shouldn't be at a larger scale. But if they were doing what they did consistently, they had good chicken, they had good salads, they had good soups, then there wouldn't be at a larger scale. But if they were doing what they did consistently, they had good chicken, they had good salads,

they had good soups, then there wouldn't be the need to do all these other things. I, this is a former, for me, is a former Golden Plate Club. Well, you were just, you were amused with Jemmy. Jemmy doesn't know what you said when she was out of the room. It's just, Emma doesn't either. Emma doesn't either. Jemmy, you don't wanna know what you said when she was out of the room. It's just, Emma doesn't either. Emma doesn't either.

Jimmy, you don't want to know what they were saying about you. Did my dog get off that chair or what? I said, woof, is it in? That's basically what I said. You're like, I always go into a room and I'm like, don't say the thing that you weren't going to say. And I always say it. I tell the person immediately, I't say the thing that you weren't gonna say and I always say it. I tell the person immediately,

I just said the thing about you. I've seen Jemmy mount many dogs before like to assert her dominance, but I've never seen a dog mount her, so. Hell yeah, that's my girl. That's my girl. She's no pillow princess, is that what it is, what do you call it?

She does love pillows, so I do call her a pillow princess. Like does love pillows, so I do call her a pillow princess. She's a beautiful dog. I love her. And we're joking. We're joking. It's a comedy show. It's a comedy show. Do you want less jokes?

We'll do less jokes. Whatever you want. I don't know if we could do much less jokes. Wags. This is tough for me. I like the three and a half score, honestly, because that's what but I think I might still just go with the score we gave it last time.

A three forker. You're sticking with three fours. I and this is a place I love. It was a four forker for me. Three and a half is pretty good, though. I'm going to go three and a. I I and this is a place I love it was a four forker for me I have three and a half is pretty good though I'm gonna go three and a half because I I go three and a half This is this is this is for the potential of it. I want to go back to what it was Yeah, I think that I think that this was one of my favorite places to get a salad for lunch

It's one of my favorite lunch places for a long time But it's seen better days. Yeah, I for a long time, but it's seen better days. So. I think I have to give this at least an extra fork or half fork for being a place that I will go to outside of the purview of this podcast, which is not the case for a lot of places that we review here.

That's true. This is a place that I would just like, hey, you know what? Tender greens is there, I'll get tender greens. And I certainly can't say the same about like, Chuck E. Cheese, just to pull out a random example. You're going, but you're not eating. That's what she said.

Oh, I don't know. Kick me out. I don't need to be here anymore. I don't need to be here anymore. But I think that makes sense. It's a nice place to... It's not like a bad place. You go there to eat. Exactly. Or like a... I'm just trying to, it's not like a bad place, you go there to eat. Exactly. Or like a, I'm just trying to think of another example

of like that sort of, like an unexciting, you know, Mod Pizza, which is probably a place people have forgotten about now. That was like a complete, I almost forgot about it. It was a place we reviewed in recent memory. It's like an okay, you know, pie, whole pie place. And it's just like, I don't have forever a reason to go here if not for content.

It's Mod ApApatow themed. Yes, right. They've got, and there's also Irish chicken, which is like a- Hoseier? I just want to mention Hoseier anytime I hear Irish. Mod pizza, I actually genuinely truly forgot what it was until just now.

Yeah. Is it M-O-D? M-O-D. It's like Blaze pizza, right? Yes. And you can have them make it? You can have them make it. It's exactly like the same concept as Blaze

or 800 Degrees. It's the same sort of thing. And it's just completely like, this is a whatever place. And I think Tender Greens is better than that. I think the burger was fine. Yeah, it probably was a little bit better than my expectations, which weren't particularly high. The pastas, they have no business doing.

Some of the other stuff they're messing around with, I don't know why they're doing it. Yes, that's the key point, Nicole, is just like they should stick to the plates and the salads because that's what they do. That's their bread and butter, if you will. And whereas bread and butter pickles on their burger have no business being there.

Jail. So I can't go below three forks. But I don't know if I can go as high as four forks. So maybe we're all in the handholding club here. And I just lined at three and a half forks. I think that's the appropriate score for tender greens. I think that's what this place deserves. Handholding club, I love it.

We're all on the same page. I hope that tender greens. I think that's what this place deserves. Handholding Club, I love it. We're all on the same page. I wish it, I hope that tender greens gets back to its Golden Play Club roots, which is, it never was in there officially, but to me it was a Golden Play Club restaurant. You're thinking of, and this is the place I think of, and this is hard for people to fathom if they've had it in modern terms, Baja Fresh at a time was like a really, it was like akin to a poquito mas. It was like a good quality Mexican place. It was like an elevated, fast casual Mexican concept. And now it's sub-gipotle. It is like, it is, it got bought by Wendy's and then probably has been owned by two other private equity firms at this point. And the quality has just completely plummeted.

It's a bummer. It's a bummer. I don't think Tender Greens has gone that far. I think Tender Greens is still good. And I think three and a half works is a good score. So congrats to Tender Greens, even though you're still on the outside of the Golden Plate Club looking in.

Hey, it's time for a segment. I got a mystery drink and Mitch and Nicole must use their senses to guess what it is. It's the return of the Weiger challenge. Wow. So. All right, here's, these are, matching glasses are the same.

Emma's bringing this over. Number one. So we have, there's no alcohol. And these are two different. Mm. Here's our, here's number two. I'll put it here. So we have, so here's the thing I will say.

Oh, oh, Emma just gave Jimmy a kiss. Very cute. Little smoothie. These are two different varietals, two different flavors of the same brand. So if you can get the brand, you'll get partial credit, but if you can get both drinks, you'll get all the way there. We'll just see who can get the most things correct.

All right, here we go, I'm going in for a sip. Wait, are we racing or like, when do we answer? Whatever you want, yeah. It's very, this is very scientific. Yeah. If you want, yeah. Whatever you feel like it, it's very, this is very scientific. Yeah. If you wanna describe the color of the beverage you have for audio listeners. Kinda like burgundy, like wine color,

cranberry color maybe? Ooh, it tastes different than I thought it would. I mean, there's a bit of cranberry, grapey, there's some sort of, Cranberry, grapey, there's there's some sort of. Like at first, I was like, is this some sort of ocean spray product? I thought I thought Welch's grape juice. Welch's is great. This is to it's too clear and light, I think. So it's got to be like a crayon crayon grape.

I think you can you can taste test the other other one and maybe that'll guide you some. But I'm not saying anything one way or the other on what you just had. I don't have a good palette for drinks either. It's actually been interesting. It's like very challenging for me to taste different things in a drink. Ooh, that's very cranberry.

Mitch thinks he has it. I mean, I don't think I have it. Okay, okay. So what do we have? There are two flavors, with the brand and flavor? Two flavors of the same brand, and then which flavors are they? I think they are Ocean Spray though. I think that they might be Ocean Spray.

This just tastes like cranberry, what if it's like cranberry cocktail? What's like cranberry cocktail versus cranberry juice? I feel like one of them might be like Ocean Spray 100 calories or something. I don't think 100 calories because I don't taste anything for one of them. One of them just tastes water down or lighter to me. I think this, cause this is just straight up cranberry. I think I don't know.

It's so weird to me though, cause it's, it doesn't necessarily, it doesn't exactly taste like juice. So I am kind of, it's strange to me. If you just like peed into glass and you're like taste I don't know where my brain is today I'm like a 14 year old boy on the spot. If your pee looks like that there's a whole other conversation that needs to be there. If you eat beets baby! this is this is this is a tougher one I'm still going with some sort of grape is in there. I know.

And I guess cranberry, you got cranberry for me. I didn't know if I thought that. I think this is a cranberry grape. I think that's a cranberry drink. I think yeah, like cranberry cocktail and like a cran grape. I feel like there's gonna be one more thing that we're missing, like peach or something in it randomly. And do you wanna, do we wanna guess a brand?

More sips are being taken. More contemplative sips. So contestants ponder what brand these beverages. That is a tart cranberry. The second one is very tart. That doesn't feel. Cranberry, the second one is very tart. Yes. That doesn't feel like ocean spray to me, but I am stumped.

Why is he, this is a good one, he stumped us. But if it's like 100% cranberry juice versus cranberry juice that they just sell with all the sugar in it, that's why it would taste so tangy. So, and I think they sell both, that's why I say that. Ooh, but if it's like, what are other juice brands? What's the one that says apple juice? They don't do other brands, do they?

Motts. Yeah, Motts. Motts, I thought Welsh's was a good, I think I'm gonna go, I am gonna go Ocean Spray, just because I'm out of ideas. And I'd say that one of those is maybe a hundred, like the hundred calorie one. And I'm gonna say one is cranberry and one is a cran grape, but I don't really know.

This would be the 100 calorie, I think, if it was one. I think. Yeah, the one that's more cranberry-ish. And then this is, I think, cran grape too. And I think Ocean Spray. Yeah. I can't think of any other brand that would have things like this, so yeah.

It is Ocean Spray. It is cranran Grape. Wow. Yeah! And the other one, Nicole, you were going here earlier, so I think I'm still gonna give it to you. Okay. The other one is Cranberry Cocktail. Yeah!

It is not Cranberry 100. Oh, so it is the juice version of it? It's just the regular cranberry juice, yeah. It's not like a hundred calorie version. I guess cranberry juice is really not sweet at all. So this is has some sweet in it. Yes, yeah. Oh, this is a good one.

I'm kind of mad. I just think this was more of a tie personally. I can give it as a tie. I mean, look, I said the 100 thing. You were collaborating. I said the 100 thing, which maybe was just, I didn't know how tricky you were trying to get. It's crazy

That it was ocean spray. Yeah. No, you got the both got ocean spray. You both got cran great Maybe maybe it is kind of a tie. I think I'll give you it. It's a tie. Yeah But more accurately Nicole you have won the Weigar challenge. We were giving like three and a half. Yeah I'm the half star which is like That's the extra that wins, you know That's fair. That is fair. The guest should win anyways. Yeah, Tygo's the guest. I'd be happy to lose. But no, I think it's the type.

Well, you're on the podcast, you lost. That was the Weigert challenge, just like a restaurant of our feedback. Let's open the feedback. And hey, we actually have a voicemail today, Emma, if we want to play this. Hey, doughboys. This is Jake from Denver. Just reaching out with a question as I'm making my morning smoothie. What frozen fruit loses the most by being in the freezer?

Thanks so much, guys. Really appreciate all the great content and Burger Brigade for life. Thanks. Wow. Fucking dork. Um. Thanks, Jake. I just improvised with Jake from State Farm. Whoa, Fucking dork. Um. Thanks Jake.

I just improvised with Jake from State Farm. Whoa, that's cool. Last week. What was he like? Yeah, he did monologues. He was nice. Yeah, he was a nice dude. He was good.

He was good. Weird life those people must have. I feel like they're like spokespeople. I feel like they must be good with, I'm sure they get paid well. I feel like it has to be a. Oh yeah. I think you reach a certain threshold and yeah, you're finally able to, they used to be able to, I'm sure they get paid well. I feel like it has to be a- Oh yeah. I think you reach a certain threshold

and yeah, you're finally able to, you used to be able to, as you all know, used to be able to make like a decent living as a commercial actor and now it's at the point where like you have to be, you know, the face of a brand in order to do that. More flow. Yeah, exactly.

But God bless them. Yeah, God bless, very talented, funny people. All right, so a fruit that loses the most by being in the freezer, I mean- I think it loses the most flavor or nutrients or flavor probably. I have an answer for it, but it is my favorite fruit. Yeah.

Oh, I don't know if the people are gonna get mad. I feel like the answer is probably the ones that are like melon or like kind of like lightly flavored fruit. Yeah, sure. Is that when you freeze them, then like it's like you lose that life flavor. But to me, I'm like, I love pineapple. And if a pineapple is frozen and then blended into a drink, it's not as good to me or whatever.

Yeah, sure. But I'm probably now leaning more towards like melon or, you know, like something like that, cantaloupe. Because if you freeze those, what the hell is the point, right? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, because I don't freeze a lot of fruit. And I will sometimes, I have bought a bag of frozen berries

sometimes with the idea of making a smoothie. But I'm never excited about those either. But then I guess probably people think berries are something that freezes better, right? Because it's lower moisture content. You know what doesn't work for me is frozen grapes. You know, people are like frozen grapes are like good. I used to like those.

They don't really work for me. The frozen grapes don't really work for me as well. I did use to like those. They need great ice cubes in wine. Oh, that's funny. I've been doing that with other frozen fruits in sparkling water, it's nice. That's fun, that's fun.

I think it's berries maintain, because I feel like he's also talking about frozen bags of fruit you buy maybe. Yes, right, yeah. And so when I think of that and making a smoothie, I think I kind of feel like strawberries lose the good, the niceness of the flavor. Sure, yeah.

They still taste like strawberries, but there's something missing to me. But blueberries are good. Most berries do maintain their their flavor. You know what? What? I might not like frozen fruit that much. I don't think I do either. I don't do it. I just like Jake cut up some fresh fruit, put it in your smoothie. You'll feel better. But yeah, I like like frozen bananas. I used to try to put in smoothies, but not like not like ones I froze by bottom in bought them in the package, so gross.

To me, to me. Yeah. Oh man, frozen banana maybe is, I mean, but those work in smoothies. Yeah, those can work. In smoothies, and they take over the flavor. So they don't lose their flavor, I feel like. But-

Self Magazine has an article, six fruits and vegetables you shouldn't freeze. Number one is melon. Yes. That totally makes sense. That includes cantaloupe, watermelon, honeydew and the like. I won, I won the wire challenge.

You won the challenge. Potatoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, salad greens. Why would I ever freeze salad greens? I froze spinach once though. I think you do stupid shit when you're trying to save money or trying to like, I don't know, I live alone so I'm always like storing stuff,, right? Yeah, sure, right, right. But I tried to freeze spinach once it was bad.

It did not work because I thought that I can put it in a smoothie. Oranges, I would not think to freeze, but those apparently don't work. I was gonna say orange is a weird one, yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that. I feel like any citrus. So it's just like, yeah, any citrus would be bad.

I feel like lemons, limes, grapefruit. What are you laughing at from self magazine? This is from delish.com. The article is 40 foods you should never put in the freezer. And some of these are just like, they just assume that whoever's reading this is a fucking idiot. They had to come up with 40 Nick, what do you expect?

Coffee, like, yeah, I'm not gonna freeze a fucking cup of coffee. Yeah. Shit, it's not hot anymore. You can freeze coffee beans. You can freeze coffee beans, yeah. Fried food. Ew. Like, I'm gonna have a basket of fried chicken in the freezer?

Whole eggs. Whole eggs? People try to freeze? I guess so. I went to a Botanical Gardens like a couple weeks ago, and they had a rock that had a piece of tape on it and said, do not take rock. Whole eggs. Whole eggs? People try to freeze? I guess so. I went to a botanical gardens like a couple weeks ago and they had a rock that had a piece of tape on it and said, do not take rock.

So y'all, they gotta tell some people these things. Yeah, we're dumb. We're dumb. I like this one, canned goods. Canned, just in general? I was told you can't even put those in the fridge. Is that true? Like the can in the fridge? Yeah, I don't think you're supposed to

Jello champagne Jello wouldn't that be kind of good. Yeah, I think Jello could maybe work but Yeah popcorn kernels champagne Freezer blowing it up. Yeah putting popcorn kernels. Champagne. Who's putting a bottle of champagne in their freezer, blowing it up? Who's putting popcorn kernels in the freezer? I don't know. I don't know who's doing this. It's like cryotherapy. You're like, oh, a new way to pop.

It's like just pop the can, you can put it in a regular way. I get maybe in Denver, I would think you'd have access to a lot of fresh produce in Denver. I know in some colder climates, it's like, you know, you gotta freeze stuff because otherwise you just don't have, you know, fruit, you gotta freeze or can stuff.

But I don't know. Yeah, Jake, I think melon's the answer, but yeah, also, you know, eat fresh. Yeah. Yeah, man. Eat fresh. Eat fresh. As Jared Fogel told us, eat fresh.

He's a good guy. He's a good guy. Look him up. You don't know him? You gotta look he fresh. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. Look him up. You don't know him? You gotta look him up. He's a good guy. He's out there on the picket line for Dan Schneider. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants,

you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE. That's 830-463-6844. And to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys. Our producers, Emmer Erdbrink, our associate producers, Emilia Marino,

our engineers, Casey Donahue, and our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Our guests, Nicole Thurman. What a treat. Thank you so much for being here. This was so fun. Thank you for having me. This was really fun.

We had a blast. I had a great time. What a hoot. And it was fun eating with you too. Aw. Thanks for having me over for lunch. Anytime. Wow. What a nice thing to say. Anything you would fun eating with you too. Aw. Thanks for having me over for lunch. Anytime. Wow. What a nice thing to say. Anything you would like to plug?

Honestly, no. No, I have like social media. I'm not doing any work right now, but you can follow me on social media, Nicole Thurman, it's N-I-C-C-O-L-E Thurman, and then Twitter, I guess. That's it. That extra C has gotta be,

like does anyone ever get that right? Like do you ever get like a cup of coffee and they actually write the extra C on it? Never on a cup of coffee. But like, yeah, like I had some, oh God, but sometimes people will spell it so weird, like N-I-C-H-H-O-L-E. And I'm like, what is happening?

There's no H in there. Who would write it like that? Cause some people put an H in the poll, which already to me looks horrible. But then, yeah. They're like, I know there's a double letter somewhere. I'm like, yeah, but like, why would it be H? I mean, C seems arbitrary,

but it seems better than H to me. But yeah, nobody ever gets it right. But it's, and even if I like write an email, I'll have my name spelled. And even if they have a strange name, a lot of times they'll spell my name wrong. It's okay though. My mom, she wanted to be unique.

Well, I like it. Listen, I'm not mad at it. I like it too. But yeah, follow me, Nicole Thurman. Thanks so much for being here. What a hoot. And hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. And until next time, for The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya.

Want to dress like the Doughboys? Get all your favorite Doughboys merch at doughboys.kinshipgoods.com. Sources for the intro are in the episode description. That was a HeadGum Podcast.