Doughboys - The Cheesecake Factory 2 with Arden Myrin

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

Arden Myrin (Insatiable, Will You Accept This Rose?, Little Miss Little Compton: A Memoir) joins the 'boys to talk about chain food, East Coast eats and The Cheesecake Factory. Plus, a Coca-Cola edition of Jingle All The Weigh.Source's for this week's intro:https://www.theguardian.com/media/2004/may/09/broadcasting.uknewshttps://floodlightanalytics.com/identify-low-selling-category-items/https://www.thrillist.com/news/nation/history-of-the-cheesecake-factoryhttps://www.vice.com/en_us/article/7xzpyg/the-palate-of-the-common-man-the-oral-history-of-the-cheesecake-factoryhttps://www.businessinsider.com/why-the-cheesecake-factory-menu-is-so-long-2018-10#:~:text=There%27s%20a%20clever%20reason%20why%20The%20Cheesecake%20Factory%27s%20menu%20is%20so%20long&text=The%20Cheesecake%20Factory%20has%20200,restaurant%27s%20secret%20customer%2Dacquisition%20weapon.https://www.thecheesecakefactory.com/about-us/Advertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In 2004, the UK's Channel 4 debuted Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, a reality show where celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay intervened to save failing restaurants from their in-app ownership. In 2007, the hit format moved across the pond to the US, and the American Kitchen Nightmares saw Ramsay morph from a calm, if often frustrated, Dr. Jekyll to a screaming, megalomaniacal Mr. Hyde, in what proved to be a savvy decision by the host and or the show's producers, given American viewers' love of conflict and dominance. But though the tones may clash, common to both versions is Ramsay's rule which he implores chefs in management to follow.

Keep it simple. Much of his restoration process involves streamlining sprawling menus, stripping them down to the bare bones of what that chef and concept can most ably execute. And while this may be prudent as a general rule, there's one restaurant that flouts this guidance with the defiant intensity of an extended middle finger. And it happens to be one of the most successful and beloved restaurant chains in America. Founded as a cake shop in Los Angeles in 1972 by Oscar and Evelyn Orton, in 1978 their son David Orton opened a restaurant in Beverly Hills serving and named for his mom's desserts,

alongside a one-page menu of savory lunch fare. The concept was a quick hit, and as its locations grew to its current 200+, so too did the chain's massive portions, giant intentionally gaudy dining rooms, and novella-length menu, which currently cocks in at nearly 6,000 words. And while this more-is-more approach might be a kitchen nightmare to a profanity spewing Gordon Ramsay, this approachable upscale concept has proven to be the American restaurant patron's dream. This week on Doughboys, we return to the Cheesecake Factory.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Sando Calrissian, the Spoonman Mike Mitchell. So like a sandwich. A Sando? I get it. Like Lando from Star Wars? This is honestly might be one of the cooler roasts I've ever had. Lando's a cool dude, Billy Dee Williams a legend.

That was courtesy of Jeff, who writes, the Star Wars themed roast came to me when I was enjoying Mitch's guest slot with Lauren and Nicole on Newcomers, roastspoonman at gmail.com. That better not be, well first of all, great show, great shout out, go listen to that. Second of all, delightful show. Wait, now I forgot what I was going to say. You had two points and you forgot the second one immediately. Lando Calrissian is cool. So I guess Sando Calrissian is also good.

It's a good thing. These roasts can be toasts. They can be boasts. That's not true. It's never nice. It's always some sort of mean bullshit. It makes me mad. Why is the Celtics are playing too?

I forgot the Celtics are playing. While you and our guests are talking at some point, I'm going to sneak away from the computer and go turn it on. And probably just sit there. You can't do the podcast. No, I'll probably sit there and never come back. You can't not do the podcast and watch the game instead. As a Lakers fan, you're scheduling during Celtics games, I've noticed.

Intentionally. This has been scheduled. This is intentional. This has been scheduled for a month. The playoff schedule was not set until last week. This is an outrageous claim. This is intentional. It's an intentional move.

What was my first point? Say that stuff. Now you forgot your first point. Your first point was that people should listen to newcomers. Yes. But what was to say the info about the drop guy again? This Star Wars themed roast came to me. Jeff is the name.

No. This Star Wars themed roast came to me when I was enjoying. I remember what it was. Okay. What was it? It better not be Jeff Dutton was my second point. Our buddy Jeff Dutton, previous guest of the podcast from your sketch group, The Birthday Boys.

Wow. What a long walk for a gold. Yeah. Worth it. Absolutely worth it. How the hell does Spoon Nation, embarrassing to do in front of our guest, here is a little drop, Nick. $30.

Three stats can you help me out? $30. This type of seat you just ride out to. Yeah. $30. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

$30. Yeah. Yeah. $30. That's what you like. All right. Hey, everyone. First drop made this in roughly 20 minutes.

If it's, if it sucks, that's why. Thanks for the laughter and quarantine, Sean. Doughboys times Kanye West. That was Kanye West song. Why? Okay. Definitely disclose how little effort you put into the drop. I thought it was good.

It was good. It was well done. How much effort do you put into the show? I write up a thing every week that I look up on Wikipedia. There's a lot of, there's a good amount of effort. I prep a whole outlining. I prep all my show notes. I look up.

Yeah. You look up things more than Wikipedia. You Google more than just Wikipedia. Fuck off. It's a valuable resource. All right. It's got some footnotes you can use to follow up for further research. How are you doing, Wags?

All right. I'm hanging in there. Hmm. You seem, you seem, you seem all right. You seem all right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. You seem, you seem all right lately. Yeah. I'm all right. It's a fair assessment.

You know, it was more than all right. Our guest this week. We're thrilled to have her an actor and comedian from insatiable and host of the bachelor podcast. Will you accept this rose? Her new book, Little Miss, Little Compton, a memoir is available September 29th, Arden Marine. Hi, Arden.

Hi guys. I'm so happy to be here. Even after you heard that back and forth with Wagner and I just a second ago, I loved it. I could have just watched the whole thing. I felt so relaxed watching it to be honest with you. And then I had questions. I had so many questions. Where are you from Boston, Mitch?

I am. I'm from Quincy Mass. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Okay. I'm basically a math hole. I was born in Fall River. I don't want to brag.

Oh, wow. Fall River. All right. I think it's the STD capital of America. It's also where Lizzie Boredom was born. Wow. Or where she murdered people. So it's herpes me and Lizzie Boredom.

I learned to drive on 128, which is a lot, a journey. Yeah. Yeah. Everything large happened to me. I love Massachusetts. Man, I think the first time I got on a highway was on, it had to be 93 is my guess. Slightly less intimidating. Yeah.

But you're going to hit 128 at some point in time. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, how ears are bleeding from hearing highway names, highway numbers without the in front of them. Well, it's truly, it's like the auto bond. 128 is like outside of Boston and it's like the auto bond. If Germany was just filled with people with like mall bangs, driving in the breakdown

lane, giving you the finger and being like, who's your fucking mother? Get out of the way. You know, so like that's how my dad taught me to drive there. He brought me up to Roy Rogers. He parked in the Roy Rogers parking lot and then he got, I got into the driver's seat and he just goes, all right, here's everything you need to know. He who hesitates gets killed. And I was like, what?

Gets killed. So he basically, he goes, he who hesitates gets killed. And it was, if you're going to merge, merge, like don't be a pussy. You just fucking merge. And that's how I learned how to drive. This sounds very, this sounds, that sounds like a, for me, I was with like a driver, driving instructor who would like drive to his friend's house and like probably get beer or drugs or something.

Sure. And, I mean, it's just chaos, chaos driving around. Nick, I can only imagine that here it's getting on the one on one must be fucking nightmare as a 16 year old kid. Did you grow up here, Nick? Yeah. I'm a lifelong SoCal surfer, dude. I've never left and I will say that.

Can I just stop you for a second and just say that? That's an insult to the real SoCal surfer dudes. I just think it's bullshit. You got to stop saying it. There's real SoCal surfer dudes who listen. I'm a regular, I'm a regular Spicoli. Oh my, I'm taking it at face value right now. I believe you.

That's what you tell me you are. That's what I think you are. I love it. Thank you. The only time he's ever touched a surfboard is for, was fucking to move it while he was a writer on the Muppet talk show or some bullshit. Oh my God. Now you're talking.

That's what we're talking about. I would imagine, I would imagine the 405 is pretty intimidating. I mean like they, you got a lot of lanes out here. There's like, they're not quite as rude as Mass and Cheezus, but you got a lot of lanes. I was very stressed out having to merge into traffic on my driver's exam. Sure. But then my like, it was such a get in, get out experience. Yeah.

The driver, the instructor, whatever the test giver was like, I just pulled in and I didn't have to change lanes. You went, by the way, you went from good to bad. The driver, the instructor, the driver, the instructor, the test giver, that's, that's, that's what you want. The driver overlord. Yeah, exactly. The person who is administering your test at the DMV, whoever that is, the proctor, the

driver's exam proctor. So, but I didn't even have to merge. I just got, I got on the on-ramp, stayed in the same lane, then got on the off-ramp. It was very anticlimactic, this thing I'd stressed out about. And then I didn't have to parallel park either. I fucking coasted through this test. I just picture some guy named Gary going through a divorce who just like didn't have it. He's like, just give this fucking kid.

Like he didn't, he didn't feel, he didn't have it in, he didn't have it in him that day to deal with some 16 year old kid merging, you know? Like he just was like, whatever, man. That's what I, that's what just flashed to me. I also came to me just enjoying your intro. This is so sad, but I, I, I did not really play money sports growing up. I didn't know I'm not super sporty and I am that jackass during the quarantine of COVID who's discovered basketball because I watched the last dance.

Wow. And now like I, it's like I've just discovered the 90s bowls and all I want to do is like reference things like the pistons and I want somebody to like insult me so that I can get superpowers and show them that I'm going to win. Like all of it, I was, it was my favorite thing I watched in quarantine. I loved it. It was, it was, it was, it was great. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but you, you're not a, you're not a Celtics fan at all in any way.

I mean, I knew to be so like in theory, my loyalty was to the Celtics and I knew Larry Bird was great. And my loyalty was like to the Red Sox and like, you know, like, so if you ask me, my team, those are the hats I have, but I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on, but I did enjoy that. I enjoyed that documentary. It was so good. Did you watch it?

Yeah. Love the last dance. Mitch and I are big, are big sportos and I follow the NBA pretty obsessively and Mitch is also a, Mitch also follows the NBA to a similar degree and also follows other sports. I'm a one sport man. I don't have more, I don't have any more room in my brain for sports, just basketball for me. So your whole point of that was just to say that you're a bigger fan of the NBA right

now. No, I'm saying that you're, that you're a sporto with multiple disciplines you're into. I have one that I focus on. You're the generalist. I'm the specialist. I will say in college, my senior year in college, my friend Lori made, I did have one year where I got super into the college basketball on March Madness and she really drove it home to me and she was like, you don't understand Artin.

Like what's exciting about college basketball versus regular basketball is like these guys, their careers, like every, like their lives could be made. Like if they can get to the grade eight or the final four, like this, they have everything is riding on this. I'm like, it's more exciting because there's not as much money involved. And this is like, they are basically auditioning. Like this is like the Oscars of like this. And so she was like, it's, this is why, and sometimes there's always an upset and there's

the darling. And so I did have a season where I was super into March Madness. That's great. Well, did you, did you go to a school that, that where that mattered or no? No, not remotely. Not at all. I went to college in Colorado and no, not at all, but I, she just took me under her wing and we would drink tequila and just, I remember getting really drunk the night of the finals

and UCLA won. Hey, there you go. Yeah. My alma mater. You're alma mater. They won. I remember having too much tequila and like, I feel like I, it was, I feel like I remember sleeping on my lawn or something.

It ended up okay for a little art and marine. It could have gone horribly awry. That sounds like the beginning of something that could go very badly, but it was fine. Yeah. My 21st, this is like the coolest mentor I've ever heard of. She was great. She was a rascal. She's a real rest.

Still a friend of mine. She's, she's on a city council now. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. My 21st birthday was a Red Sox playoff game.

I think it was, I think it was when they played the A's, the, the, the year that they, that, oh, you know what? It was, it was my junior, the year before, the year that they lost, but it was Johnny Damon and Damien Jackson collided in the outfield. Do you remember this one? It was Johnny Damon. He had the hair, right? He had the hair.

Yeah. He was like the guy. He was it. Yeah. They had, they had like an outfield collision and I, and I cried because I was, because I was drunk. Aw. Because we're worried about their wellbeing.

We were worried about them. I was like, yeah, those guys, man, that's a bad, I was, I was really fucked up. And then I ate like 40 wings. I remember that too. I remember eating like a dozen cupcakes and vomiting like a rainbow of icing. Wow. Yeah. Just like I had champagne.

I was doing karaoke. That's, that's the journey. That's the journey that we're all on. It's such a good time. Where's your Massachusetts accent? It's gone away. I got rid of it. I, people used to make fun of me.

I mean, I love those same guys that I was hanging with. They're the best accents. Mitchell will, Mitchell will code switch a little bit when he's hanging with his Boston crew. When we're out there in Quincy and we're there, you know, and, and Dan, which I never believed in. And Raymondy and Stevo, everyone's out there. When people, when people used to put it, when people used to put it on a heavy Micas, when

people used to put it on, I'm happy that you're naming them. So I don't care. We could go on forever. That's so like a SoCal surfer. I know that. I see him doing that. No, he's not. No, that's so, no, that's so Spicoli.

Spicoli's got to do with Spicoli's got to do. I know that for him. I know that for him. If I ordered, if I ordered like a pizza during a record, why would he be like, why did you do that? He would be like, you would be like the teacher. You'd hate it. You wouldn't be like Spicoli.

I think I'd be, I think I'd take it in stride like a, like Michelangelo. That's how you do it. I think I'd be like Sir Sub Dude. You can't just be the characters that people like. No, he's only the character. He's that. He's Mr. Hand. All the greats.

All the greats. Mr. Burns. All the greats. Mr. Burns. All the classics. Mr. Burns. All right. Now we're getting closer.

People love Mr. Burns. People love Mr. Burns. All the beloved classics. America's Sweethearts. Mm-hmm. We, we, we, I was at my, my college friend. So that was, it was a Luke, Nate, Novick, a bunch of people, resty. And we were eating wings.

And then there was a last wing and speaking of basketball, they did a jump wing for the last wing. Wow. And you could see who could get the last wing, like a jump wing. Did somebody catch it in their mouth like a dolphin? No. Someone battled aside and left a wing stain on the ceiling. It's fun being 21, isn't it?

Yeah. That's the thing. It's stuff like that. That it's like, we shouldn't stop doing that. That's fun. Yeah. We should, we should. I mean, I kind of never did stop.

I still do jump wings. I would do a jump wing. I would happily do a jump wing. I did. You guys were talking about Lauren Lopkus up top. I dragged, I dragged her last summer to Rhode Island and I feel like there was the equivalent of some jump wings. I get real rascally, Nate.

And I, I like tackle people. I get real physical. Like I want to kind of like wrestle or fight people. Wow. And I, yeah, I get a little crazy. I want people to give me like an airplane ride. There's like, I get deep in the night in an Airbnb. You're going to get attacked.

I love it. I want to fight. I love it. And you know what? Yeah. The SoCal surfer dude, he puts his sunglasses on, which is the only thing SoCal about it. Yeah. About, at about 9pm in his warm up to go to bed and then does nothing.

Are you an early bird, Nick? I got to get up early to catch the waves. He's got to catch the waves. You don't catch waves. You don't catch shit. He's got to get to Zuma. Why are you cramping his style? He's got to get a spot.

People are territorial in the ocean. It's true. It's true. It's so true. I'm not catching waves. I'm afraid to know what you are catching. STDs, waves, everything. Bye.

Good vibes. Good times. If he's catching STDs, it's because he's a bug chaser. There's no other reason. All right. Does that exist? I love a bug chaser. It's Nick.

That is Nick. That's fantastic. I think that might be an urban myth. It certainly doesn't describe me. I did want to talk a little bit because you've touched on Rhode Island a few times and the city from the town, from the title of your book, Little Compton, is where you grew up, yes? Little Compton, Rhode Island?

Yes. So what are the, obviously in New England, but what are the foods that make you think of home? Okay. Thank you so much for asking. First of all, we didn't have a stoplight. We had a general store. We had no chain restaurants in our town.

Wow. Yeah. We had no. We used to have three restaurants, two burned to the ground. We have a diner called the commas lunch, and then we have a pizza parlor called A1 Pizza. So like a big night out, like an exciting, like a birthday night out, you get in the car, you drive to Swansea, Massachusetts, you go to like the Cineplex, and you get to go to Chili's.

Are you fucking kidding me? Wow. Chili's. Chili's. Papageno's. Yeah. D'Angelo's. Yeah.

Dunkin' donuts. I mean, kidding me. Newport Creamery. Del's Frozen Lemonade. You give me a grinder. You give me a fry with some vinegar. You give me some fucking coffee milk. I mean, I love, you give me an IHOP.

You give me a Denny's. It was, yeah, I mean, but my biggest night out was either Papageno's or Chili's. Oh, the best. Papageno's. Wow. I talk about Brigham's a lot on the podcast too. I was a big Brigham's fan. D'Angelo, you named all the classics, and got Weiger especially excited when you mentioned

the Creamery. Oh my God. Newport Creamery. Are you kidding me? Friendly's. Friendly's was sort of like Newport Creamery. One of them smelled bad, and I can't remember. One of them had the awful, awful.

One of them had a fribble. Those were there, like, and we would also, instead of a milkshake, you had a frappe in Rhode Island. Chef's. I talk about frappes all the time. I mean, I, this is right up my alley. I love it all. This is, this is what you, this is what you get experience.

A bunch of New England food specifics are up your alley? Oh my God. Wow. Now, were you, would you eat, like, co-hawks and stuff? Would you eat, like, lobster rolls? Yeah. I wasn't fancy like that. We had, so for what we would do for Christmas dinner, we had lobster rolls, and clam chowder.

We had a kind of a New England Christmas Eve dinner. But. That sounds so good. Quincy's right on the walk. Quincy, the hometown of Dunkin' Donuts, but. I love Dunkin' Donuts. I mean, it's the best. I love, I love their coffee.

I love their jelly donuts. I love their munchkins. I just, I like their breakfast sandwiches. Me too. It was so exciting, even just to go to McDonald's. Like, I went, like a big, like, I was a treat to go get a happy meal. Are you kidding me? Oh.

I love the desserts at McDonald's. I love a chain restaurant. I was so excited to come here. It made myself crazy, just thinking about all the, of what it could, you guys have really built yourself your own, like, fantastic best life. Well, we'll probably die within the year. Worth it. Worth it.

My general practitioner would disagree. Good question. When you saw, so when I saw Super Size Me, some people either never want to have, like, fast food again. I immediately wanted to drive to McDonald's and have that quarter pounder. I believe that he threw up, like, there was like, it was like the final thing that he couldn't take it anymore, and it looked so tasty to me. I wanted to go right to McDonald's.

Did you? Yeah. If they intended that as a scared straight sort of thing, it did not, I'm with you 100%. It made me crave McDonald's. It did not, like, deter me at one bit. And in fact, it actually made me resent him for trying to make me dislike McDonald's. Nick and I hate him. He's, he, he, we, we, we don't like him.

Good. What's his name, Wags? Morgan Spurlock. Spurlock. Get the fuck out of here, Spurlock. Get out of here, Spurlock. You get the fuck out of here. Would you say about my cousin, Spurlock?

Would you say about my fucking cousin, Spurlock? Oh, okay. I'll meet you out in the fucking waterslide, Spurlock. I'll be the one with all the fucking quarter pounders that are going to shut you down, Puss. So, meeting, meeting someone on the waterslide, it sounds like a, something me a weakling would say. I'll meet you on the waterslide.

I'll meet you at the fucking waterslides, and I'll meet you slippery to fight you. But I'm going to be pissed in my tankini. What is your favorite chain of that area, guys? When you, now, Nick, you got excited when we were talking about it. What thrilled you? Well, he was, he was only excited just because he knew I would be excited. It was a nice little, it was a nice little co-host moment. Oh.

I mean, Mel, but I will say, there's a place that you've, that you mentioned, and you mentioned in the email, when we were, when we were exchanging emails trying to figure out which chain to cut, to review for this week's episode, one of the chains you mentioned and you just mentioned again is D'Angelo's, which I know Mitch loves, and I've never had it. And I'm intrigued by D'Angelo's because I love a big old Sammy. Hmm. It's a Sammy.

You can also get a really good, like, grilled pocket, like a pita pocket, but it's like jammed with cheese. Like, it's not the healthy. You're not like, oh, I'm on a diet. I'm going to go to D'Angelo's. It's just like, it is jammed with just stuff. I do got to say, the Greek, they have like a Greek salad and you can get like a Greek salad and a piece of pita.

It's pretty good. They do like, they do some stuff that's like, okay, but you're right. You want to go get a steak and cheese and some. You want like some like, really melty American cheese that's been like pressed on, kind of like, I don't know if it's a panini thing or it's just like a brick on a hot, greasy stove. I don't know, but it's, it's so good. And they're usually attached to, what are they attached to?

Cause I feel like they're like a pair with another, is it Baskin Robbins? What are they like next to? They're like, come as a team. They've been, they've been paired with a few different things. I feel like there's been, yeah, Baskin Robbins is one of them. I feel like there've been D'Angelo's and Puppa Geno's sometimes, but that could be wrong. I'm not mad at that. I also, I also loved a Carvel Fudgey the Whale Cookie Puss growing up, a Carvel cake

with Mr. Carvel's accent. Incredible. I don't know if I've ever had like a car, like an actual thing from Carvel, I'm just aware of it. It's really good. I mean, in a way that's probably going to give you diabetes, like, I like that. So it's really good in the way, I have a, I don't have a refined palate. So like, if you're an eight year old version, picture yourself at your surfing campus in

eight year old, right? Okay, got it. So picture yourself in your fans hanging down at the beach and Venice Beach. And it's like that kind of really, like it's got ice cream and it's got like crunchies in the middle, like an ice cream cake with crunchies in the middle, and then it has almost like an icing, but it's still ice cream, but it's icing. And then there's like a gooey gel where they're like, keep surfing the wave, Nix. And it's so comforting and also doesn't feel like a real product at the same time in the

most perfect way. Like it's like fake food, but it's so good. Am I describing it accurately, Mitch? Yes. A hundred percent. And also, why didn't we just have this conversation or maybe it was another podcast that I did about the frosting of an ice cream cake is still ice cream. We were talking actually about this with our, with our buddy, Eliza Skinner on a recent

episode and it, Eliza's the best. And it was, but it was not in specific reference to Carvel, I think we're more talking Baskin Robbins. It sounds like the same sort of thing. I'm very familiar with the Baskin Robbins ice cream cake, which I love. It's similar. Yeah. What's fun about Carvel is they seem to have purchased one form, like, like one shape.

So the shape is like a whale, right? And that's their cookie. That's their Fudgy the Whale. So you can get Fudgy the Whale and they're like, Hey, this is Mr. Carvel from Carvel's Ice Cream Cakes. You got Fudgy the Whale. But then they also have a cookie puss cake that's in the same shape of a whale, but it's a man and he has a chocolate ice cream sugar cone as his nose and it's really terrifying

looking. You should look up cookie puss, just get a visual of cookie puss. And I, even as a child, I knew both of those names were kind of dirty and funny. Like I knew something was wrong with the names. I knew Cookie Puss and Fudgy the Whale were both like kind of stupid and like naughty and funny. And I just, I always found it entertaining. I gotta tell you, my first crush, Cookie Puss.

Everybody fell for Cookie Puss. I'm looking at, I'm looking at the image of Cookie Puss. He does look like he's praying for death. Cookie Puss? He's like a Guillermo del Toro creation. Yeah. That's like divorce dad. He's living in his like condo, but he's got the kids on the kids birthday weekend.

He's like, you know, he's got his like friend, Shelley, from the office that's gonna like help through the party. So he like, he forgets about it on the way home. He picks up a cookie puss and puts up like a few pieces of crepe paper and like wraps up his cigarette lighter. And that's the, that's like seven year old birthday party. To me, it's such a funny thing of to like, it's an ice cream cake. So we're going to put an ice cream in a cone at one of the cake.

I mean, there's like one of those cheap Halloween Spider-Man costumes that just has a T-shirt with Spider-Man on it that goes to the mask. I want to tell you, I was listening to John Daley's episode yesterday and he was talking about who I love and he was talking about his, I was just thinking about the ice cream cone on the ice cream cake to me, which I love and I would have, I would fight, I would fight anybody to get that ice cream. I would want it. There was a sandwich he was talking about that had fries in the sandwich and he was mad

that the fries were in the sandwich. And I got to tell you, again, the monster in me that watched, that watched Super Size Me. All I wanted to go was straight to his hometown and I wanted to, I was like, of course I want fries on my sandwich. I want everything on my sandwich. I want to go right to that home, why everyone should put fries on a sandwich. I was, he seemed upset about it.

I respect that. He seemed to like himself more like he didn't want to harm his body. He kept talking about repercussions. He was like, I could eat it and then I'd feel bad. And I'm like, I can't believe somebody thinks it through that much. I wanted to eat it so badly. Daily. I wanted it.

Daily, you're on notice, Daily. You should've eaten the fucking sandwich. Daily, why did she eat the fucking sandwich? You mean me or the water slide, Daily? You got to fucking meet me. I'll be there with a cookie, Puss in the sandwich filled with fries. Permanty brothers, Permanty brothers, I believe is the, uh... That's right.

Pittsburgh. Have you had one? Have you had sandwich with fries on it? I mean, I've had a sandwich with fries a number of times. I've never been to the original in Pittsburgh. What, tell me, did you like your sandwich with fries, Nick? I do. I mean, I'm a fan of, like, loaded up.

You know, I think that sometimes you get a little bit too much on, Mitch is sharing a screen right now. I'm looking at a Cookie Puss IPA. There's a Mickey Puss Cookie Puss milkshake IPA birthday beer. That is the greatest thing. That's the perfect thing to get through this dumpster fire of a year. Just like, I've given up, I haven't worn pants with buttons in five months, and I just pound Cookie Puss IPA.

This sort of, I mean, this seems like a bridge too far for me, personally, like just like when you... Right. Because what is this flavor? Does it taste like, is it supposed to have like a birthday flavor? And I do like birthday flavor, but it's supposed to have a birthday flavor in the beer? That sounds like it's incompatible. It's a hard combo to have like a hoppy milkshake, like that combo, like an IPA.

A hoppy milkshake sounds maybe like, again, there's a part of me that's like, I like the salt and the sweet, I like weird combos. I don't like, like, I would be open to it. I would be open to trying it. I'd definitely try it, and hey, maybe it'd be great. Yeah. It does sound like what I thought liquor was. Wags, I hate to say it.

You're acting like a no good John Daly right now. You wouldn't try the damn fucking ice cream cake beer? What's wrong with you? Yeah, why are you John Daly-ing me? Look, I don't want, I don't want to get, have any part of any sort of waterslide confrontation, so let's just take it easy. I'm gonna meet you at the Misquamigot Beach waterslide, and I'm gonna key your fucking car while you're busy rinsing off, I'm gonna key your fucking car, me and my sister and

my cousins are gonna fucking meet you there. I don't even know that it's you, because you're gonna be the one that doesn't have the cookie puss IPA. You're gonna be the puss without the puss, and I'm gonna know it's fucking you, man. Maybe, beat me at the drink at waterslides, and I will fucking key your car. Wags, you know what I think they should name the, you know what I think they should name cookie puss to target today's millennials? I know where you're going with this.

Nick? Cookie ass. How come you got cookie ass? Millenials like eating ass. Nick and I talk about how millennials love to eat ass, nothing they love more. Cookie ass, cookie puss, cookie puss is like this stripper in her mid-40s, cookie ass is like a fun, sprightly, like 33 year old looking good, like that. Cookie ass.

Hey kids, it's me, Mr. Carval, everybody loves an ice cream cake, for your next ice cream, cookie ass. What was your favorite childhood, I'm gonna start with Nick. That was your 11 year old dream chain, it's my birthday, I'm going for like a birthday lunch, where are you going? Anywhere, sky's the limit. So if we're getting like fast food, fast food, for me I'm probably leaning in and out burger. Again, from Southern California and that's such an institution out here.

But yeah, if we're gonna go dine in somewhere, at the time I'm 11 years old, I got a good report card, I'm gonna treat myself to a Marie Calender's lasagna. I've never had that, I've never been to a Marie Calender's. It's declining a little bit, we've visited it for the podcast earlier this year or last year, and it's one of those places that kind of had its peak in the 90s and has slowly been falling off and has been closing a bunch of locations. But back when I was a kid, that was like my favorite thing. Was there a specific location that was like your Marie Calender's?

Yes, that would have been the one by the Lakewood Center Mall, which I'm not sure if it's there anymore. The oldest enclosed mall in the United States. I gotta tell you, one of the joys, one of the things I like about when I tour doing stand-up, of being on the road, I love being like, oh, I have to go to the Olive Garden, I love it. I love doing rooster tea feathers, and I went for every single meal to that 99 restaurant with the 58 page menu, which, like the Pub 99, it was one of those 99, it was a big spiral giant book.

I ate like 10 meals there in a row, and I was so happy. We actually reviewed a 99 restaurant when we were in Boston, Mitch, we did our live shows in Boston. That was one of them. Did you enjoy it? I thought it was good. I mean, it was, as far as the way we always think about chain restaurants, I wasn't mean to it.

I thought it was fine. I was right down the middle. When you're on the road and by yourself, your standards, you feel like you're really treating yourself like the Queen of France, by dining at it all. It's literally like, I'm going to like myself today and go to the Olive Garden alone. It's like I'm living my best life, so I think that your scale is a slightly skewed scale of loneliness trapped, but on foot in some town that you don't live in. Yeah.

All right, when you're dining solo, what is your regimen? You go to the counter, you go to the bar, you get yourself a table? I don't go to the bar because I get myself a table. It's interesting how uncomfortable it makes a lot, I mean, depending on where you are, in some towns, people cannot believe a lady is eating alone. You get stared at, they are freaked out by it, like party of one, I did Hawaii, I was in Honolulu and I remember showing up, I went down to the hotel, they had this restaurant and it was on the ocean, and I think they were so ashamed to see a party of one lady

that they put me, no one was there. Back by the kitchen, I'm like, can I sit near the ocean, they were like, no, for shame. I have no problem with it, I'll bring, I'll wear headphones usually and I'll bring a magazine or something, if I'm going, I'll go over my set or something, I'll just bring a little notebook, or oftentimes then eventually I'll get takeout, because strangers really like to talk to me, I just have a face that people want to tell me things, no matter where I've never met a stranger, people tell me everything and they want to connect just as a human, people want to tell me everything and sometimes I can't, I can't do it.

Weigler is a solo eater, he has no issue doing it, there's some people who just straight up don't do it, I think that I really would prefer to eat with people and if left to my own devices, I'll just sit in my own trash at my house or order delivery or not. I love a solo trash flight, don't kid yourself, I love it, I love it. But over time, I've gotten more used to eating alone and I will do it, but it's just a non-starter for some people, they just won't do it, it's just not going to happen, and I get it. At a certain level, I prefer non-waiters, I prefer something that's sort of like a Chipotle or something where my preference would be something that's kind of tasty, that I can

go to the counter and maybe I get a number that I bring to my table and then they bring it to me, that's sort of my preferred level when I'm on tour, but I also love, my favorite is room service, but it's so expensive, but if I could, just hide in my room the whole time and never leave and have food delivered to me and I act like I'm going to have it put on the desk and then I immediately drag it all to the bed and get under the covers and watch TV and just catch up and just things everywhere and just devoured in like 20 seconds. If I had all the money in the world, everything would be room service, there's nothing I like more.

Room service is room service, I got, when I was in Atlanta a while, so you know that I got a hot land, I call it. I was there for two years doing Insatiable, what were you doing in hot Atlanta? I was filming a movie in Atlanta for about three or four months and there were like weeks where it would just be like a room service, especially because you go home and you're tired and then I would just get room service. What movie, what hotel? The movie was The Tomorrow War and the hotel was The Lowe's, The Lowe's Hotel in Atlanta.

That's where Mary Lynn Rice Cup was staying there when I was filming and she was doing night school and they were all at The Lowe's. Mary Lynn was my co-star in The Tomorrow War. We hung out all the time. She's the best. She's the best. What do you play in that? Like a fat loser.

That's fun. I played TV Unfuckable for years. I played like who would fuck her? As a redhead, as a redhead, I was like who would fuck her for, it paid my rent for years and then when I was on that TV and they dyed my hair blonde, I became, I fucked her and now she won't stop calling. I was like this stalker, that's fun, I'll take it, I will take, I will take it. That is, by the way, that could be my answer to, if anyone ever asks what character I

could play, I'm just easily like a fat loser guy at the door. Great, that's great. That is like a great lane of the highway. Yeah, of course. Not everyone can monetize that. Did you have, I got a little isolated that first year in Atlanta. It took me a minute to not, I got a little weird the first year. I was so lucky for Mary Lynn and Jenny Angelo and Sam Richardson and...

So you had pals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there was quite a few people. Because we were all in the same hotel, like everybody, because you have to go get your own Airbnb. So it's like everybody's all over town. And so it was, and there would be days, when you're not number one on the call sheet, there would be many days in a row where you're not working, you know, and it was, it was like, it was like, here I am again in a lit, like, you know, I got used to it by the second season.

I sort of figured it out, but it, at first, I remember Eddie Pepitone, he had some dark nights of this. The first season I did my bachelor podcast, I made Eddie, Eddie Pepitone did the entire first season of my bachelor podcast, and they, I made him watch The Bachelor and... That is the funniest thing you can, Eddie Pepitone watching The Bachelor. Here's what's crazy, Eddie Pepitone and I, well, we appear on externally to be very different. Like on the surface, you'd be like, they're very different people. We are wired incredibly similarly.

Like we are very similar mole people, like we have the same quirks. And, and so I remember he was filming, my, your pretty face is going to hell, and he was the devil on that, the adult swim show. And so we made him watch The Bachelor and he would phone in and he was staying at Atlantic Station at that, like the 12th at Atlantic Station, and he was slowly losing his mind from the 12th and he would phone in dispatches about like all these like young Pilates instructors and dental hygienists looking for love on The Bachelor while he was slowly like he hated it so much and he was going crazy in Atlanta.

And like, I just always think of Eddie Pepitone like isolated, living above a target, like in Atlanta, just losing his shit. Wow. It was a joy. My sketch group followed Eddie at a comedy show and he called us like 27 cowards because there's, there's, there's seven of us. We love, we love it. I mean, it was very funny.

27, I love him. There was, there was, there was seven of us. Yeah. At 20, but also shout out to Samantha and Jared cause I didn't say that who also might were my Atlanta saviors. But I, I wanted to say quickly cause we were talking about what Wags did for his birthday. I want to say, I want to talk about my birthday too. Wags cause I would, uh, coming up on your birthday month.

I don't celebrate a birthday month. This is bullshit because I like to spend a day. Look, I like to birthday, when's your birthday? My, I have an October birthday. It's October 6th. Okay. But I, but I, but I like to celebrate with friends. So Weigar then, because I like to celebrate with friends, Weigar gives me

shit that it's a birthday month. You sometimes schedule a few different events over a few different nights. I scheduled two different nights, one for people who drank and one for people who didn't. That's all I did ever once. And I never did it again. I love that you did that. I love birthdays.

I love a person who like, I think it's, if it's your birthday and you love a birthday, it's your responsibility to throw it. You can't be like, Oh, so like, you can't assume somebody needs to organize it for you. You need to get your shit together and throw yourself a party. And that sounds like what Midge did. Oh, what I did, I said, I always try to get pizza and see a movie. So I got pizza, saw a movie and then, and then that was like on a Thursday.

And I was like, also this weekend, I might try to go get some beers and do karaoke if people want to do it. That's all I said. And then Weigar says it's a birthday month, a piece of shit. Weigar, when's your birthday? My birthday, just as of this recording happened very recently. And it actually ties in with this week's chain. Wow.

Because I got for this week that we're covering the cheesecake factory. I got my cheesecake factory lunch for my birthday. This is the best. Damn, this, this fucking bumps me out. I didn't realize you got it for your birthday. August 28th. Are you a Virgo? I am a Virgo.

I love a Virgo. And also, hey, how about that? It was a big birthday to Weig's. Was it a big one? You're right. You're right. This is 40. Great.

How do you feel? Did you eat your cheesecake out of the trash? I've done that. How do you feel? I feel fine. Same. Um, so what was your chain as a child before we get? He's felt, he's felt the same since he was a child, basically.

He's been waiting to be 40. This is 40 has been his entire life. So you feel right. It feels right. You feel right. It feels the right size. That's great. Well, for me, I would always get pizza on my birthday.

I was always a pizza freak. So there would be Puppet Genos, but it went all over the place to five star with wings to fucking Regina to all over the place. But I would go on for my birthday as a kid, as like a like a like elementary school kid, I would go to haunted hay rides in mass in Massachusetts. I would do a haunted hay ride, the best, get some, some spider cider and some, deadly doughnuts, Wags, which is like the. That sounds so good.

Those apple, the apple, the cinnamon, the apple, God, the apple cinnamon doughnuts or whatever, the fritters, fritter. Yes. Emma knows what I'm talking about. This one's so good. Emma's staring blankly ahead. You're near Salem. You're near like the Halloween capital of America.

So it's so good. Yes. I, I was, uh, it was, my mom would get like a, like a scary cake. You know what I mean? Why is it would be, it was, it was great. You know what? You love Halloween so much. Your birthday is in October.

You're terrified of ghosts. Oh, because Arden will speak to this in New England, ghosts exist. Oh, they're everywhere. My whole town, my town was founded in the 1600s. They're everywhere. And they're everywhere. You're going to chase them out of the house with a fucking broom. They're everywhere.

They're everywhere. And they're noisy. Yeah. They're noisy as hell. Why? Cause I'm telling you, there's a, the New England's got a ghost problem. Yeah, it's not like, you know, it's not like, like, uh, Calabasas ghost. That's not happening out here.

You know, like New England. Oh, sorry. I'll take off. That's a Calabasas ghost for you. Calabasas ghost. No, there's a whole, there's a whole, there's a, there are a lot of ghosts in New England and there was a lot of creaky old houses in my town. And it excites, like I wanted to hear about it, but I didn't want anything to

do with it. It freaked me out. Terrifying. Um, how did you feel having your birthday lunch? Be cheesecake factory. Did it treat you right? Did I pick the right chain? You know what, we'll find out right after this break.

We'll be back with more dough boys. Welcome back to dough boys. We're here with Arden Marine discussing this week's chain, the cheesecake factory. Before we get into that, Mitch, you have a quick correction you want to issue. I just want to say it was apple, apple cider donuts before people get angry at me because I said apple cinnamon. I've never had that. That sounds really good.

Oh, they're really, they're, they're, they're damn good. I think you have had them and then probably just, I'm, they, they were so abundant. You know what, I feel like I'm having a sense memory of being like, mm, like I enjoy like, I feel like I'm having some kind of a memory of any like kind of fresh cinnamon doughnuts that was probably apple, apple cider donuts. Anyway, if you're on Twitter and you typed an angry reply correcting Mitch, delete it. That is a correction. Delete your tweet.

It's a hard year. He doesn't need that right now. It's a hard year. Stop being pedantic. Wags. Yeah. Change the ad to President Trump's ad and fucking send that shit to him. That's right.

Ask him, how dare you, sir? How dare you? Yeah. Maybe at the water slide, maybe at the water slide truck, maybe at the water side, you said apple cinnamon is apple, apple fritters, apple fucking cinnamon. You think you're better than me? Well, you think you're better than me? Would you step on my cousin, Trump?

Would you step on my cousin? I keyed your car. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Very, maybe, maybe I should say parody. Those, those New England.

Oh, you think Trump will sue over this? You know, keying a car is such a specific, scummy New England thing to do. Yeah. And I feel like it's like a girl gang thing. It feels like a girl fight of like me and Shelly. We meet and she fucking keyed my car, you know, like her boyfriend was a booze cruise DJ and we fucking, you know, she thinks she's better than me. I keyed a fucking Mustang.

Man, I, I walked upon some, some girl fights back in high school. Like when I remember I was walking in one time and I walked into a girl's fight and I was like, man, I would try to break this up. But I think I would, I would get my, I would get fucking destroyed. This is the scariest thing that I was, I would get my fucking ass kicked. That's why I stayed out of it. All those sisters in the fighter were no exaggeration. The fighter was no joke.

Like, would you say Miss MTV? Oh, Ricky and Dickie. Okay. Like it's all, like that's for, that's real. That is real. I mean, anyone can kick my ass. So that's not saying much, but, but there's, but there's, but there's, there's, there, there, there's some tough girl fights.

Why is you ever women fights? Is this, is this in a bad area? I don't know. I think girl, I mean, I started it. So you can, you can add me and Trump. Does that add to Trump? Yeah. I started it.

I'll take responsibility for that. Don't add Arden and Trump together for God's sake. Oh God, God, no, please don't lump us together. It's been a tiring year, you guys. I'm just doing the best that I can. I'm in, I'm an adult lady in overalls doing the best that I can right now. Maybe, maybe, maybe it's a, maybe it's the water slide that will take a, just take Trump down.

I can't see. It's the water slide. That's how they should decide everything. The water slide. It's all Biden and Trump at the water slide. I feel like both of them will hit the water and dissolve. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

It would be just like at the end of Wizard of Oz. Just be like a toupee floating at the end, like an orange toupee and like tanner. So the Cheesecake Factory was founded in Beverly Hills in 1978. It has over 200 locations today. The owners also have Grand Luxe Cafe and Rock Sugar Pan Asian Kitchen. Have either of you ever been to either of those? Wow, Rock Sugar. Never heard of them.

Speaking of Rock Sugar, there was one right outside the hotel in Atlanta. That was, there was one of the Century City shopping center too in LA, which is a big hub of chain restaurants. I think it's a similar concept just with Pan Asian flavors. Grand Luxe Cafe I've been to before. It's like an up more upscale Cheesecake Factory. And the one that was in LA closed, but it was a delightful meal. We most recently reviewed Cheesecake Factory in 2016 with Beck Bennett,

and it made the Platinum Plate Club, Plate Club rather, which very, very few chains are inside. Was the Grand Luxe at the Beverly Center? Was that where it was? It was at the Beverly Center, yes. I remember the logo and I remember being a very dark, like it wasn't a well, you had to sort of, it felt like you were going to like a gentleman, an upscale gentleman's club.

Like it was like dark windows. You know what I mean? I didn't know what it was and I felt nervous to walk in there. It was definitely intended as like a romantic spot. So you were going to see like cookie ass there. Cookie ass was not going to be there. So Arden, what is your connection to the Cheesecake Factory? Thank you so much for asking, Nick.

Again, I didn't grow up with a lot of chain. Like it was like Papageno's, as I said, Chili's was the big night out. So when Cheesecake Factory, they got one in Providence at the Providence Place Mall and I just, it makes me so happy. I, I couldn't believe, I love getting the little buzzer for them. It's always packed. It's never not packed. Every day is Mother's Day at the Cheesecake Factory.

And I love getting the little, like, we'll hand you this light up coaster. And then it's, they're pretty fast. It feels like it's going to be forever. I love the size of the menu. I love that any craving, it's like, like a diner menu, but it's also like Pan Asian. And it's like California cuisine and it's Italian. And it's like anything you could want, I feel safe there. And then once I had those lettuce wraps, which are so tasty to me, the chicken

lettuce wraps, or you can get the vegetarian avocado wraps, they're so delicious. You cannot eat them on a date that you are, you look like you've, it's a crime scene down your hands between, or for me, I'll speak personally. I could not eat them on a date. They are so undatable, like visually watching me jam these wraps of lettuce with like, like just different sweet and salty sauces running down my hands. Like surgery. I loved everything I had surgery hands.

I was so happy with my home delivery. My door dash really did me right on Saturday night. Surgery hands are, are tough. Like, like Buffalo, like when you get, there's a, there's quite a few things that you can get surgery hands with and it's, and it sucks. It's, it's back in the day. There was a burrito place in Chicago that when I was 19 years old doing improv there, Horatio Sands brought me to this plate, Wanteetown's burritos.

That was, I believe on North Avenue, it was just one little hole in the wall. And they had burritos the size of like a Chihuahua or a small baby. And you, it's like, and it, it's literally, they're gigantic. I gained 30 pounds and nobody cared because there was, nobody cared. Chicago doesn't care. Chicago doesn't care. Throw a park on it. They don't give a shit.

They're going to accept you. And that's why I love Chicago. And, and it, just the surgery, if you ever go to Chicago, Wanteetown burrito, don't even kid yourself. The surgery, it is, I think I gained 30 pounds from that burrito. Like all I went, that's like four in the morning. They're open, I think 24 hours a day. There's like a security guard.

There's like a security guard in the door. It's amazing. Well, here's, here's a question. Wags, if there was a burrito that they said it was the best burrito you'd ever eat, but it's a 30 pound burrito, you're going to gain 30 pounds. Yeah. Are you going to eat it? Yes.

I mean, yeah. Transcendent. It's, it's, it's, it's the, it's like the, it will be like, John Dailey's not John Dailey, my boo, John Dailey, he likes himself more than I do. He would know to say no. And that's why he's a champion and like he likes himself. So would you, Nick, would you do it? I think so.

I mean, if it's the singular dining experience, if it's, because I've had some fantastic burritos over the course of my life, if this is going to be better than any of them, guaranteed. Guaranteed. Yeah. I think I want to have it. And also, what am I clinging to? I'm like, I'm already extremely overweight.

What, what's it like? No, you're not. Who cares if I'm a little bit more overweight? There's a caveat here. Yeah. 30 pounds right into your ass. Cookie ass. He could be cookie ass.

He's got money making. Yeah. Maybe it's the origin, origin story of cookie ass. He could also go burn it off while he's surfing. He's going to burn it off surfing. I gotta, I gotta say this. One, you said, you said golden plate cub and it sounded like some fucking real fucking Boy Scout bullshit.

I wanted to make sure you weren't trying anything. Two, it was sugar factory across the street from the Atlanta hotel. Not, not so it's very different than rock sugar. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, congrats on remembering your second point. Wow. Thanks.

Really made progress today. It's hard to remember things right now. It is hard. It's hard. I don't remember COVID like quarantine brain, pandemic brain. It's a thing. Everybody's lower the bar guys. We're all 20%.

You know what I mean? I clean. That's big. I have clothes on. Okay. I brushed my hair for you. I amuse. I would not eat the 30 pound burrito.

Wow. Not yet. I couldn't do it. I couldn't, I couldn't add 30 pounds more on right now. I would have, I look, I would eat it, but I would have 10 pounds. Here's what, here's what I, 10 pounds I would do. Yes. Immediately.

But I mean, I guess 10 to 15, 15, I think 15 is maybe the cutoff. If I, if I lost, if I lost, I would, I mean, I would definitely eat it. And you know what? If it was a one time thing and they were like the 30 pound burritos only here right now, you only have the option, then I probably would eat it. But that's tough. That's, that's, it's a tough one. Now, now Mitch, what if all 30 pounds go directly to your hog?

Then I'm fucking, I'm eating. 30 pound wean, wean burrito. Then why is then I'm eating for two, my friend. Oh my God. I just had a vision of cookie ass just rocking it. He just like dances his way into a video. So good. So good.

Oh, so yes, that's why I love cheesecake factory. I'm not super presentable there, but I do have surgery hands as I'm at cheesecake factory and I love it. So is that your, because you talked about getting it from DoorDash. Was that your order? Did you get the lettuce cups to go? I got a few things. I believe I replied to you.

I was going to eat like a fat queen. And so I, I did. I was so excited. I got, I ate all, I literally cleaned my plate and I have a picture of my cat sleeping in the takeout container. Like I rinsed it out. Yeah. I, um, I started, you got to share that picture with us because I will text, I'll

put it, I'll text it to you right now. Oh, I don't have, I'll hold it up yet. She's the same color as a container, but she's in sleeping. That's a, that's a cheesecake factory plate. She's asleep in it. You got a little, little tuxedo cat catching some. Some shed eye. I got two tuxedo cats myself.

A tuxedo cat. She's got thumbs too. She's got a pose. Wow. She's, yeah, she's got mittens. Um, wow, really rubbin it in Wally and Irma's face, the ambidextrous cat. She's, she's great. Um, I got, I was, you know what, I might have to meet your cats behind the

water slide. I started with the fire roasted artichoke and, um, that garlic dip. Are you kidding me? The garlic dip. I've, I think I still smell like garlic. Their sauces, I think is, I really, I really wanted to do right by you and your listeners. I was so honored to be on that.

I truly was so excited. Wow. I mean, you should, this is, that's too much. You shouldn't care about it. No, no, I was really excited cause I love flavors. I'm a hungry girl who loves flavors and to come on and talk to experts. Are you kidding me? Thank you.

So I got, uh, yeah, don't look into our credentials, but yeah. So the garlic sauce was so fucking good. And then my appetizer, I got the, our, the avocado lettuce wraps, which were, I mean, with the bean sprouts and then the sauce. And then I ended with steak tacos and it's a bold call. You live in California. You can go to guisados. You can go get a real taco at any awesome truck anywhere.

Here's the thing. I'm, I'm, I'm trash. I'm garbage. I love any taco and what was fascinating. They had a really, uh, their sauces, it was like sort of like a Chipotle sauce, but then also like some sweet coating on it. Didn't taste like any steak taco I had ever had. I loved the entire meal.

Didn't even feel that full. I ate all of it. And I have to say, I think their sauces are what make them so exciting to me, 10 out of 10. That's a, that's a great point. Um, uh, made it worth. It's better in restaurant.

It doesn't travel super well, but I still loved it. I'm sorry. Back to you, Nick. Oh, no, no, no problem. I will say that the, the dipping sauces was actually a note that I made is that their dipping sauce is even like a basic ranch from there is outstanding. Their house ranch is so good. I hear their iced tea is like stuff that dreams are made of.

So they have like shirt. Apparently they're, I didn't order. I found that out after the fact, but apparently their iced tea is the shit. I'm okay. I'm out. No, you're good. I have, I have, they have, yeah, they have like some, uh, they have some, like some flavored ice teas on the menu that do look delightful.

I got my, I got takeout from the marina del re location. And I will say that picking this up, picking our order up of the sit down chains that we've covered and other ones I've patronized over the course of this quarantine period, they had by far the best pickup system. Wow. Now, now Mendocino farms is more of a take out place and it's more local. And their, their, their take, their pickup system is also very, very good. But in its category, uh, of, of, you know, like kind of places that are not

designed for takeout, cheesecake factory's system was great. They had a station outside, well ventilated. They had a relay system where you'd go up and you'd tell them what your order was and they'd go out and retrieve it from the kitchen and bring it outside. Uh, it was, it was just very, very well choreographed. Uh, as far as drinks go, I got myself a peach smoothie, which is crouched peaches and juice all blended with ice and swirled with raspberry, fantastic smoothie, very, I mean, you know, really sweet, but I, I wanted a sweet treat

and it was a warm day. So it was, it was a great, great lunchtime. I think they're heavy on the salt, heavy on the sugar. And that's one hundred percent. I think that's what makes it really tasty. And maybe you go once a month, you know, it's not like a once a week thing, but maybe once a month, cause it was like a lot of salt, a lot of sugar on everything.

And that's what makes it delicious. Yes. And the portions are, are famously gigantic. Uh, I will say of the, as far as the takeout goes, I thought they did a good job. Yeah. Anything that, that you're going to, anytime you take it out of the restaurant, it's, it's going to lose a little bit of something.

But I thought every, the way everything was packed and presented was very nice. Like it, like the dishes all kind of were as, as well arranged within their takeout containers as, as I think you could do, given the circumstances. Um, I got the loaded baked potato tots as an appetizer. These are bacon, a cheese chipotle and the ranch dipping sauce is great. I mentioned the chipotle dipping sauce, uh, also a very good, but the ranch really hit it, knocked it out of the park. It looked like this might have been taken off the menu recently, but I was able

to get it just under the wire. I got a kale Caesar salad, which was an appetizer size salad, just to have something semi-healthy on my birthday. So they give you a dressing on the side, three dressing containers. They're not messing around. And save that, save it. Cause you know, it's going to be good dressing and you can put it on your own stuff, great point, great point.

Was it good? I thought about getting that. Was that good? I think their Caesar dressing is really good. It's a very simple salad. It really is just kale and shaved parmesan and croutons. It's, it's very straightforward, but it's, it was, uh, you know, it was good product and I just love that they give you too much dressing, like air on that

side, you know, as far as my main, I got the Louisiana chicken pasta. I got the lunch size portion. I was a parmesan crusted chicken served over pasta with mushrooms, peppers and onions and a spicy New Orleans sauce. This is one of my favorite dishes from cheesecake factories. One of my go-to. And I was just like, you know, it's my fucking, it's my birthday. I'm not much of a birthday guy, but I'll give myself a little bit of a

treat. I got something I know I like. It's a big birthday. It's a big birthday. It's a big birthday. Yeah. I'm glad you treated yourself right. Come on.

Cookie ass. You guys celebrate yourself. It's your big birthday, cookie ass. It's your time to shine, boo. We're going to nationals. All right. I just want to note for the Doe Boys Wikipedia, my nickname is not now canonically, uh, cookie ass.

I don't want to be known as cookie ass. No, it's not. It's not. I think it is. It's not. Burger boy, I'm not cookie ass. Okay. Uh, but I was going to say the, the, this is, uh, this was great.

And it was exactly as good as I remember having it in the restaurant, which is 100% what you want from a chain restaurant. You just want it, that level of predictability and consistency. Uh, Natalie got the Jamaican black pepper shrimp, which was shrimp with a Jamaican black pepper sauce with rice, black beans, plantains and marinated pineapple. The sauce is described as a very spicy. I'm something of a heat seeker.

Natalie is even more into spicy foods than I am. And it's not very spicy. Maybe it's very spicy. If you're someone who doesn't have spicy foods, which I understand is a lot of the, you know, maybe a lot of the cheesecake factory, uh, core audience. But it's all like my mom and my aunt who'd be like, oh, that's spicy, you know, but they've only had like mashed potatoes. Yeah.

But if you're someone who like regularly, who like regularly has like, you know, Thai food or whatever, it's not going to do much for you, but it was very good. Uh, and I'll save the, the sweet treats. Mitch, let's talk about your order. Let's talk about your, the savory side of your menu. All right. Um, well, I'll tell you one sweet treat, which was my drink.

Um, wow, I ordered myself a pineapple cherry limeade. Oh yeah, you did. That's how you do it. It was, it was pretty fantastic. There was a cherry in there too. I really, I'm a, I'm a big limeade fan. The pineapple, you know, pineapple strong. So it kind of maybe took over the, the taste of the whole thing.

But I, it's a great taste in juice. Pineapple is a great, it's an underrated, great tasting juice. It's a great juice in a limeade and cherry, a cherry limeade with pine. I mean, how can you go wrong? It's all great flavors. Great. You can't go wrong. I'm doing the chef's gift myself.

Chef's gift. Chef's gift. It was great. Um, I got myself a tossed green salad. Boring, I know, but it was a good, it, it, it came with, uh, their house dressing, which is, uh, the balsamic, basically. Was that good? Cause we're all in their, their dressings over here.

Yeah. It was good. You know what? And I ate about half of it and put the other half in fridge in the fridge. And I ate it as my full dinner later. Um, but here's, here's a fun, here's another fun thing. You get it to go. They give you the bread.

They give you the brown bread and they give you the other bread. Yeah, great point. Great advantage. And the, what, what is the, what is the other? Like just a, it's a nice crusty. It's got a nice crust on it. Now me and I'm a, I'm a brown bread guy. Arden, where do you, where do you stand on the breads?

I love any bread. Yes. Brown bread. Yes. White bread. Bread bread. I don't pick and choose. Give me the bread.

I love the bread. But I also just bear in mind, I would drink the cookie puss cookie. Yes, IPA. So just keep that in mind. Just keep it in mind. You're talking to like a real low level, like there's a real low level addict here talking to you. So I'll do that.

I'll do that. Give me the brown, give me the brown bread IPA. I want, I want the cheesecake factory brown bread IPA. That's a great pitch. There's nothing that you've brought up that I said I wouldn't eat. Just I want you to know there's no point of discernment of like, I'm not elegant, like our friend John Daley, I'm not classy. I don't have, don't put fries on my, on my sandwich.

Like there is not one thing that I have shot down that you've thrown at me. So I may not, I might, I'm not, I may not be the best person if you're trying to be like, should I not have this? I'm not going to tell you no. No, that's a good thing. Brown bread cookie cookie. Yes, IPA. The toss screen was, it was good.

It was a good salad. I got the cheeseburger spring rolls for an app. Which they come with kind of a Thousand Island dip in sauce. They, these were the, these were the, maybe the only victim of travel where they, but I put them in the air fryer, Nick, because I saved, I only had about one of these and I put them in the air fryer later that night with that salad. So I didn't only eat the salad. I had about one and a half cheeseburger rolls too, but they heated up pretty great.

They were great. How are air fryers? I know people who love them. I like them. They're, they're a very specific thing, I feel like. They're great to cook fro, like kind of frozen foods and they reheat stuff really well and then like, they're great for veggies and stuff like that too. If you, if like, they, I think they're worth it.

The thing is, is that they're just kind of big. They can be big and clunky. So they're going to take up their space. I don't have, I have a tiny house. I can't do that. Yeah. So, so, but if you, if you got a spot to put it under, under, you know, in a, in a cabinet or something and then take it out and use it, it's great.

Great. Um, Nick. Yes. For lunch, I got the lunch version of the Louisiana chicken pasta. Wow. Oh, friendship. And Nick, guess what? I knew you were getting it.

And I copied your order because I said that looks good. Wow. Did we do a birthday order? I'm going to order my friend's birthday. A 40th birthday palette tribute. That's, it was like we were having a little birthday meal together, Nick. Oh, that's nice. Did you love it?

Another co-host, mine meld. Did you love it? And you know what? I did love it. I thought it, it's really, really, really well done. It's, it's a, especially the, it's funny that the lunch portion stuffed me so much that I was like not even able to walk. I, it was, it was so much food.

Um, this, you know, honestly, this, this, this was, this was a 30 pound burrito. This was a 30 pound burrito meal. I, I maybe have gained 30 pounds eating. I ate everything. I ate the three artichokes. I ate the, every lettuce wrap and I ate four steak tacos and I wasn't that full. Well, that's a lie. I used to live in Zach Galifianakis's closet.

I don't want to brag, but that was what happened back in the day. And he, and I would eat so much and he would call me piggy smalls of the notorious PIG. He was like, you eat so much fucking food. Uh, yeah, I love flavors. Uh, yeah, I ate all of it. It was so good. I'm, it's a good thing.

You know, it is what it is. It's a journey. Well, I also, Nick, you're going to save your sweet treats. Should I tell you what my sweet treats were? Cause I got two of them. I got two slices of cheesecake. Oh yes. Yes.

I got a chocolate tuxedo cream cheesecake. What's that? What's that? It's just, it's just like a chocolatey cakey, I'm a chocolate fan. So it's just kind of like a chocolatey cakey mix with, it's fantastic. What's the tuxedo part? Where's the white part coming in? You know, that's a great question.

Is it all chocolate? Is it all chocolate? Uh, to me, it seemed, to me, to me, it seemed, it seemed old, um, it seemed old chocolate, but maybe it's cake and cheesecake or something. That's exciting. That sounds good. No, no, I'm wrong. There, there is, there's, there's a layer, there is a layer of vanilla in there.

I love it. I'm looking at, I'm looking at the pictures and my picture right now, but it was just Nick, it was decadent. It was fucking creamy and it was, it was fantastic. And then the other one I got to keep in the theme of this pineapple theme, I got a pineapple upside down cheesecake. Which was better. They were both, I gotta be honest with you, they were both just so fantastic.

I mean, I, I, I, I ate one with my lunch. Basically I ate like a, uh, I ate half of both of them. And then later that night, I ate the other half of both of them. So I ate two slices of cheesecake in a day, which is fucking disgusting, but you know what, you got to do what you got to do. I did, I ate a lot of cheesecake that year in Chicago. I had a, I had one in my freezer that just had like a fork in it. It couldn't, so it was between the burritos and the cheesecake.

I, we just, I just kept my friend and I, we just kept like a fork in the cake. It's just at all times, not chocolate chip. It was so good. Yeah. And Nick, you know what? My blood work came back and my cholesterol is actually down. I had found out. Wow.

There you go. That's progress. And so is my testosterone, but anyways, luckily you had the 30 pound burrito and it doubled everything. There you go. Um, the pot, both of them were the, the pineapple upside down cheesecake, you know, like kind of stretching it for a cheesecake. Cause they're like, you know, there's a lot more cake in there.

And then, you know, the, the cheese, but man, they were, they were both really, really good and really, really different, really different tastes and things. I fucking, I loved both of them. This is, this is, this is what, cause I was like, is cheese, we, you know, it's where Nick and I met to, to start this podcast. We just chatted about the cheesecake factory. And so it's his four, you know what, it makes sense that it's his 40th birthday meal.

This is in my head. I was like, is this place worth it? And then having those two slices of cheesecake. I was like, yeah, this place is damn good. It's great. It really is a nice night out. It felt like a, I felt like it was my fanciest meal. I've had in quarantine.

Like I felt like, wow, what a night. It felt, it felt really was like, this is how I'm okay today. Things are okay. It's not cheap. And I, and I'm sorry, but it really was like, so delicious, so delicious. It's, I, you know, I think it's a special occasion place. And maybe, you know, if you can, if you are not too financially strapped right now and can afford the equivalent of a nice night out while you're, you're

trapped indoors, I think it's a, it's, it's definitely what I agree with you. It felt like the nicest meal I've had in this period. I'll also say the, the, as far as my sweet treats, I got the vanilla bean cheesecake. I'm a big vanilla guy. Vanilla is a flavor. I love vanilla. Love vanilla. I love, McDonald's vanilla cone.

Don't kid yourself. Oh, so great. We're so simple. Simple doesn't not mean delicious. But the vanilla bean. It's a flavor, Nick. Happy birthday. The vanilla is a flavor.

Wow. Thanks, bitch. So this is just, it's very simple. It's just, you know, they're known for their over the top fare, but, but this one is just streamlined. I get it pretty frequently when I get a cheesecake from there and it's a, it's just vanilla bean cheesecake topped with vanilla mousse and whipped cream. And it was dynamite.

It's so fantastic, so smooth, just the little bit of the, you know, cause some, cause I like the harshness of a cheesecake, but the vanilla just makes it like a little bit smoother and it just works perfectly. The other dessert we get is a non cheesecake dessert. And this is a regular go to for us. The lemon cello cream tort, which I strongly recommend to anyone who's maybe not, doesn't like cheesecake or just wants to try something different. I can't even picture what that looks like or what that would be.

So it's basically like a layered cake that's got a lemon marscapone cream. And then it's got some strawberries that it comes with it. So it's, it's, it's like a, it's like a tall cake that served on end. Uh, when you get it to go, uh, not only ate this one, but just said it was just as good as always. Lemon is a great flavor. Lemon is a great flavor. And I got to say, just even shout out to, I'm so glad you got such a good,

like pure vanilla, just like that sounds so good. Yeah. So good for your, for your big birthday, but it is, it is a big birthday and it's in quarantine and like, I'm glad, like that's a very, that would be a, that feels festive. That's nice. Hey, happy birthday. Cookie.

Yes. Thanks. Happy birthday. Cookie. Yeah. No, Arden, did you, did you get any cheesecakes or on previous cheesecake factory visits? Have you, did you have any desserts that you like from there in particular?

You know what? I did not get any, I've sort of lost my sweet privileges because I'm such a, as you can tell, I'm such a little monster that about, about it, like eight or 10 years ago, I realized that when I would have something sweet, I wanted everything sweet on earth. Like I didn't want one cheesecake. I wanted 15 cheesecakes. And I was like, oh, I've lost my, I've lost my license to cheesecake.

Like I can't, I am, I can't do it. So I had, I've had to tap, tap out cause I can't, I can't have one cheesecake. Wow. I admire the restraint. It's truly not even restraint. It's because I'm such a monster. It's like none of every cheesecake in America is true. It's like a cigarette smoker.

It's like, if you are addicted to cigarettes. So I had to just, but I, I, I, everything you described, I mean, sounded so good. I love like a brownie situation. I loved like, I love a McDonald's Sunday. The McDonald's Sunday, the chocolate fudge McDonald's Sundays or a McFlurry. I mean, chef's kiss, chefs, the McDonald's cookies, a sugar cookie from McDonald's. Are you kidding me? A nice vanilla with like a vanilla cone.

Chef's kiss. I'm getting so hungry. It's so good. This is what supersize me should have been. It's just a chef's kiss to McDonald's. I mean, right? It should be like I had it every day and chef's kiss. It turns out it's terrific.

Someone make the, someone make the counter supersize me documentary. Someone contradict it. I feel like this, your podcast is a nice tribute to like chef's kiss of like, we appreciate you chain restaurants. Chef's kiss to you. We do. And some are, some are horrid, but yeah. So would you say this isn't your upper echelon of like, this was like, what's

the worst one you, like, what are your bottom three? You know what? We could, we could, we could get to, we could get to it right now. We want to do, want to do wrap up thoughts. Why let's, let's get to our final thoughts. We'll, we'll see exactly where this goes in the pantheon. Yeah. I'm, I'm ready to wrap this up so I can go.

I want to go down on some cookie ass after. That makes all of America right now and Canada and anybody listening anywhere else. Hello. Hey, shout out. Hey, Australia. I see you. Hey, girl.

Hello, down under. Hey, down, hey, down under. We go up on some cookie. Yeah. We cut the grass on some cookie. So Arden, we'll get to our final thoughts. We'll each sort of go around and give a closing argument, if you will, on based on all of our experiences with the cheesecake factory and end it by giving

it a fork score from zero to five forks is the maximum. You are a guest. We'll begin with you. I love this. Thank you so much for asking, Nick. Look, we all know time's a tight right now and you've got people's catches strapped, so we're not trying to act like everybody's the queen of France here, but let's just say, say you got some kind of weird inheritance or you're

like, you know what, fuck it. I am going to get some more credit card debt. Treat yourself right. If you have a special occasion either, it sounds like the pickup experience was even better than DoorJash. Do you get yourself some pickup and just really look at that menu and just, and like, see what makes your tail wet. Cause every flavor's on there and it seems like every single one is not

disappointing and also pay attention to the sauce because it feels like the sauce is what's going to bring it home to you. So I want you to look carefully at like, do you want garlic? Do you want like a hot and sour? Do you want a sweet? Do you want a teriyaki? I don't know. I'm not judging you.

I'm not there with your flavor buds. I'm not with your cookie ass. So look at that and save it for a birthday. Save it for a big cookie ass birthday. Save it for like, like a graduation. Some, a baby's coming. Some celebratory, an engagement. And I would say it's worth the flavor.

I'm going to give it four and a half star forks. Wow. Four and a half forks. Wow. Very good score. Wow. Yeah. However, that does nudge it out of platinum plate club contention.

Oh. That said, five, five, five, five, five, five, I'm so sorry. I had, I was, I had a stroke. I smelled toast. I tasted pennies. I, I'm so sorry. I'm back. I, guys, that was my evil twin.

Five forks, five forks, five forks. I'm just going to say that. Is this our quiz show moment, Weiger? How you, how the way that you just, you just, you just gave a five. You, you led the, you led the guests to five forks right there. You think I'm going to end up at some Senate subcommittee hearing being grilled under hot lights? Well, I gave it a 10 out of 10 in my original review.

That's true. You did say 10 out of 10. So I was trying to act like I had any kind of discernment, which was aside from just give me, give me the flavors. I need more flavors. I was trying to, that was me attempting to sound classy for your listeners. I wanted them to think I was elegant and I was like in a gown. And I don't normally have crumbs and stains on my clothes.

Five forks, who am I fucking kidding? You think I didn't lick the plate? My cat's not sleeping in it right now. Five forks. Wow. Wow. All right. Go ahead, spoon man.

Well, Wags Cheesecake Factory does something that is almost impossible in the world of chain restaurants and restaurants in general. Outside of like, say like some like Chinese and Thai food restaurants, which is that they have a gigantic menu. Yes. And almost everything on it is really good. If, if not great, I mean, I, when I eat there, there's nothing that I really dislike.

I haven't had, I haven't really had a bad experience with Cheesecake Factory. The food's good, Nick. Yeah. And you know what? If it's worthy of my boy Wags 40th birthday lunch celebration, a once in a lifetime event, then it's worthy of five forks for me. Five forks, Nick. It's five forks.

Wow. Five forks. Okay, birthday boy, birthday boy. It falls to me. Yeah. Come on, Cookie. Come on, Cookie. Yes, bring home Cookie.

Yes, we're going to Nationals. Cookie. Yes, leave it on the field. A lot of pressure for our clear eyes. Can't lose Cookie. Yes, I'm choking. Two forks. Ah, shit.

Fuck. Come on, Cookie. Yes, okay. Okay, I'll pull it together. Get in there, Riggins. Um, the, the, you know, the thesis of this podcast, we're always trying to figure out how good is this place at achieving what it's trying to do. And I feel like the Cheesecake Factory achieves it.

Like, like the, right in the name, the Cheesecake, the Cheesecake is fucking fantastic. The Cheesecake is spectacular. It's so great. It's so indulgent. It lives up to the opulence promised, uh, by its brand. And then just like the, the gigantic menu of, you know, art and talked about the other tacos are kind of their own thing.

It's the same, same with all their, their Asian flavors, the same with like their Italian food. It's all like not necessarily, uh, you know, authentic. It tastes like the Cheesecake Factory, but the Cheesecake Factory tastes great and I, I've, I'm never disappointed when I go there. Yes, it's expensive, but it's, it's, you know, I feel like you get what you're paid for in this circumstance. And yeah, there's no reason for me to deny this place entry into the

hallowed halls of the Platinum Plate Club, where it shall remain the Cheesecake Factory, five forks from Nick Weigar, aka the Bird Airboy, aka Cookie Ass. Cookie Ass, we did it. We did it. We saved the town. That was our view of the Cheesecake Factory. It's time for a segment.

I've got a series of jingles and Mitch and Arden must guess the year without going over its jingle all the way spelled W-E-I-G-H. I love this. Now these jingles are compiled by our associate producer, the Drop King, Robert Persinger, and this week they are all Coke and Diet Coke themed. I love this. So the way this will work is I'll cue a clip. Emma will play the clip and then each of you will guess the year and

whoever comes closest without going over will win that particular point. All right. So let's begin the first, the first Coke ad. Emma, let's roll this in. So the clip we just watched was a baseball team on a bus arriving at a diner and all enjoying a celebratory Coca-Cola. So fun. Arden, Mitch, what year do you think this was issued?

Arden, we'll begin with you. Okay, great. I'm going to say based on the porn stashes. And the mullet lady haircuts and all of the white people, I'm going to say 1982. That's insane. Because my guess was going to be my birth year, 1982 as well. Wow. I love this for you.

And I thought that I really thought it was going to be 1982, but if you say 1982, I got to do a different number right now. Yeah, you've got to. That's correct. You've got to. All right, then I'm going to, I'm going to go, then I just got to go when I was a one year old baby boy, looking at this little baby boy, little baby boy about to be a baby man. My cookie ass and my fucking little cookie diaper.

Watching this commercial on the floor. Cookie diaper ready to be a baby man, big boy, baby man. 1983 then, because I really, I really thought 1982. God, we were a simpatico. We're like mind melt. 100%. You are very, very much on the same page. Unfortunately, neither of you gets it because this came out in 1980.

Whoa, that's a surprise. Yeah. Yeah. Earlier than you expected. Earlier than I expected. So I should err on the earl. I should like think my number and then shave a couple off. Yeah, we'll see.

We'll see. It's like, it's like, you got to do the bidding. Right. All right. One dollar, one dollar. 16, so 42. 17, 1781. Was already not at the point.

Is it not whoever's closest? It's whoever's closest without going over. You can't go over. We both went over. We went over. We both went over. All right. Next one.

Let's play the second clip, Emma. We were enjoying that clip so much, too. I loved it. I loved it so much. Okay. All right. All right. I remember this.

I remember this one. As long as there is there's always the real thing. Coca-Cola classic is always the one. Whenever there is fun, there's always Coca-Cola. Yeah. Coca-Cola always. So this is one of those ads where it's all graphics. There's no actors, which I always like, you know, I think that's like,

it's like a well made ad, but I'm always thinking when that of just like, well, they just saved money by not having to do a shoot. Yes. They just paid like one animator instead of like a crew and cast of 30 people. Yes. Of course. Yeah. I agree with you on that.

They should have, you're saying there should have been some guys head in there or something at some point. Yeah. There was someone some cash. I, this is, this is maybe at like the peak of when I watched TV. Like I just, that commercial, I just sang along to it and knew every word and every flourish. Yes. So, so that definitely puts it in a.

I have a ballpark for it, but I'm not sure. I admit you're up first this round. So take a, take a guess. So like in my head, I'm like, what I think it is is 96 or 95. So maybe I'm going to go 94. I'm going to say 1994. 1994. Fuck.

I feel like it's 1995. I'm going to go 1995 with the risk of 1995. The same year that Windows 95 released the same as this ad. We're going to find out, Arden, what's your guess? All right. Well, it definitely had that, like, it definitely has that mid 90s thing. It's got that MTV feel happening. It's feel, um, so now that I know the name of the game and I was raised by television

and I watched a lot of prices, right, I'm going to underestimate it and I'm going to go too early and I'm going to say in 90, 90. Wow. 1990 for Arden. Arden, you are correct. You are closest without going over. 1993 was the year. You win the point.

Oh, there we go. There we go. That was also the year of me. Oh. That was the year I was born. Wow. Yes, honey. It was the year of Emma.

Wow. Do you get extra points if you get it exactly correct? Um, sure. Yeah, I'll add that now. Okay, great. Okay, great. Wow. That was possible.

That was on the TV in the hospital as Emma was being born. Oh my God, that is it. That was, that was your birth theme song. That's what led you to this podcast. That is spectacular. It's your destiny, Emma. It's your destiny. It is.

Wow. 1993. Let's, uh, let's skip ahead to number four, Emma. Let's play the fourth one you have there. I can't wait. This is fun. I felt like a dirt ball. I'm not going to play that way again.

I'm going to go for what I think is here. That was, that was good. That was, that was chicken shit. I don't like to be chicken shit. I'm not, I'm not somebody that's going to make people meet me by the water slide and then play like a real push. I'm not doing that again. That's not how I'm playing.

All right, let's play this next clip. Here we go. Oh, wow. Wow. Yes. Yes. This is great. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. That's really incredible. Okay. So I know that this is because they switched to new Coke and people got pissed and they were like, I fucking hate this shit. And they're like, don't worry, don't worry.

We're being cool. This is called classic. We're back guys. Don't go back to Pepsi. It's because we switched the formula and everybody hates it. And judging by that kind of like brown, brown, brown look, like that vibe, that look of like there was a real sort of like hall and oats haircut look of like the guy dancing and the suspenders.

You see cats dancing on Broadway. So that meant that like cats was probably new and relevant. Mm hmm. I'm going to go earlier than I think it is. I think it's probably 84 83. I'm going to go 81 81 from Arden. Mitch, your guess. Now I'm like, I think it's 80s too.

This is tough because, but then I'm like, could it be a sneaky 70s? No, it can't be 70s. Right. Red, white, and you. Hmm. All right. 1979. Smashing pumpkin song.

Great call. I love that for you. I love that for you, Mitch. I love that. I feel like it was mentioned maybe in the song at some point. I think it was. I'm wrong. I got it wrong.

I think I'm too early. You are both too early. However, Arden, you are closest. The year was 1986. Wow. So much later than I thought. Wow. Damn it.

Yeah. 1986 for the red, white, and you campaign. Wow. Okay. And the and that seems older in some ways than the baseball one. Yeah. The baseball one was weak because the baseball one kind of seemed like a link later commercial. Like ironically, like Daisy confused, like he's got his boy.

There's McConaughey. Like there's something kind of, it felt like almost cool, but it's these can be misleading. That's part of the challenge. Yeah. All right. We've got it. We've got a couple more here. I'm going to play the next one.

I could play this all day. Okay. This is misleading. This is misleading, but also this is, this, this is a little bit easier because you see that culture kind of sucks. Yes. Yeah. We're in a shitty phase of culture right here.

And there's like a 90s. The girls in like a 90s crop halftie, but then it also feels like when they're starting to come in with like that, like the roller skater girl, the skater girl, the skater girl, and then with like that, like the roller skater girl down in Venice, like it's starting like they're trying to capture the fun of like a safe daytime rave. Like, you know, like, okay, who goes first on this one? I believe that, yeah, I believe it's your turn, Mitch. I also feel like I saw Ryan Seacrest float by at the end.

I mean, I think you saw a random Seacrest. I didn't catch that. I think I saw some random Seacrest. Wow. Well, let's see if it influences your answer one way or the other. Seacrest chaser. I got him. I want to say that it's 2000 exactly.

Great guess. Is that your guess? But I kind of want to go 99 because I feel like it might be 99. I'll go 2000. 2000. There was like a crop top. There was like a 90s contemporary casual shirt happening. I do, I feel like it's going to be 99.

There's part of me, but then there's part of me that feels like it's trying to get cooler and like newer and, you know, early aughts like, yeah. Cause we're still not, we're still not dealing like, there's still not like iPods, you know, like we're not seeing a little, but is this 2000s or is this 90s? It could just be late 90s. Or it could be late 2003. Like that's what it could. Good, good stretch of just bad stuff there.

Yeah. All right. Not a lot going on. I'm going to go 2001. Wow. Wow. Arden, you have nailed it. It is 2001.

Wow. And by your rule, you get an extra point. Oh my God. So you have four. You have four to zero. You have an insurmountable lead, but just for fun, let's do this last question. Emma, skip ahead to number nine 2001. Damn it.

Let's play this final clip. Wow. Arden, you were right about the culture, though. You were right about like, it was a shit. Like, yeah. Oh, you, you, you, you, you price, you priced as right. You priced as righted me. You fucking, you nailed it.

Usually prices, right? You go under prices, right? Is I'm going to bet $1. You know what I mean? I'm going to bet that you went over. So I could have said 1982. That would have been prices righting you. You, you, you like, you did like the expert prices, right?

The stealth where you came in, where it was safe to go under, but you went in, you nailed it and got it. I went over. I went a little over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Mitch, let's see if you can get on the board for personal pride.

Here we go. This one's final flip. Okay. This is for five. This is for five. I'd like to buy the world a year ago. Classic. Hippie area.

Aliens. Look at all these aliens. Colt, Colt, Clears. All of them are Unix. Every person here is a Unix. Everybody's been sterilized. All right. We got that clip.

Wow. It really is. You're right. It is very Colt-like. It's very Midsommar. I feel like you swap, you swap everyone's Coke bottle for a, a glass of Kool-Aid and you just got Jones down. Yes.

They're all going to wear like black turtlenecks and Nikes sterilize themselves and go, go up in a spaceship with their leader. That's it. It is very, it's Nick. I was thinking Midsommar too. It's, it's, uh, I didn't, I didn't like it. No. You don't feel safe.

It's not a safe, no, it's iconic and you don't feel safe watching it now. No, you absolutely do not. But one of the more famous, the TV ads of all time. What year did this Coca-Cola ad premiere, Arden? Okay. You're first. I'm seeing, there's a lot of like flower power, you know, it's the whole hippie revolution.

So that would have been like the summer of 69, but I feel like advertisers wouldn't have hopped on it so fast. Right. You know, they would be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, like, okay, okay. We're cool. Look, we're, we're hopping on like we're waking up. We're woke. We're woke.

I, without going over, but I'm going to say 72. 1972. Mitch, your guess. I want to say for the last one, 2001 was the year I graduated high school. I should have known that one. A shitty year. You know what? You were busy.

You were distracted. You were living your life. You were living your life. I was, I think I was drinking Coke, watching that commercial over and over. I'm going to go later. You got it. I mean, you beat me fair and square. I'm going to go 75 because that, that's just, uh, I think it was that, that much

later, but you know what? You kicked my ass hands down on this entire thing. I love pop culture though. Like I love like looking at like the fashion cues. I love, I, I just have filled my brain with pop culture. I love it. I thought that I was going to do, I'm usually pretty good at stuff like this, but yeah, today just not working for me.

Why is 75 lock it in? I'm going to switch. Okay. I'm going to keep it. I'm going to keep my, I'm going to keep it. Okay. Arden 72 Mitch 75, you both overshot it. The logic was sound.

It did, they were a little late to the game in terms of appropriating the heavy movement for marketing. It was 71 71 was when the hilltop ad. That's what it's, what it's called premiered. And hey, Arden dominated that one and we all took a trip down memory lane. What a journey. What a journey indeed. What a journey.

And you know, I was happy to have Coke along the way on this journey. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, it's a great, it's a great drink. Wigs. No, did we receive any money for doing that segment? No, no, no, but, but the no boys can't be bought. I'm always happy to have a Coke. I'm always happy to have a Coke. In fact, I just got a cease and desist from Coca-Cola.

Throw it on the pile, throw it on the pile. That was Jingle All the Way, spelled W-E-I-G-H, just like a restaurant via your feedback. Let's open up the feedback and hey, we have a voicemail to our Doughboyz delivery line today. Let's take a listen. This is Cole from Cape Cod, Colin. This question is inspired by a thing Jordan Morris said in a recent JJ Go.

I'm wondering what your method is to disposing of the fast food related trash in your car. I find myself often picking something up in the window, finding a parking lot and eating it, but maybe too embarrassed to throw the trash away at the nearest trash can, the parking lot or whatever it is, and usually bring it back to my house and pretty shamefully throw it away. And yeah, I was wondering whether or not you guys also share this experience. Love to share it so much.

Thank you guys. Happy quarantine. Wow. So the question, how do you dispose of fast food trash left in your car? Arden, what's your routine? I mean, I, I put it all in one bag and I sort of like, I sort of like get it all in and kind of like tie it up because the smell gets everywhere. So like, I'll jam it all in.

Um, and I will, I will go find a parking lot trash can and pull over. What if I just like rolled out the window? I just throw, I just throw it at people. I just throw it at the car next to me. You lose all your accumulated goodwill at this point in the podcast. No, I generally bring it home. If it's, I will, if it's recyclable stuff, I actually will bring it. If it's like a lot of like chunky plastics, I will bring it home, rinse it out

and recycle it. Oh, that's good. If it's like a paper thing or whatever that they're not going to recycle, I will put it all in a bag quickly and then go find a, go find like a Ralph's parking lot or something with a trash can and go dispose of it. That's what, that's what I do. Yeah, I, I'm, I'm with you. I like, I have been very, you know, I'm not like a neat freak, but I don't

like having clutter around. I don't like having stuff in the car. So like, I don't like to leave. And I also don't like the smell. Like I love fast food, but if I get back in the car, like later that day, and it smells like fries, I just like, I, I am disgusted by it. So I like to get the, I like to get ever all the leaveings out of there, uh, ASAP. So yeah, I will, I will do the same sort of thing.

I'll, I'll, you know, throw it in a bank, bank trash can or something in the parking lot. Good car. Whatever's accessible. Mitch, what, what about you? Why do you dispose of your stuff? Well, you know, if I, if I, if I have it in the car, I'm usually, I'm usually bringing it into the, you know, I, if, but if I'm eating it in the car, if I

eat something in the car, that's the circumstance, yes, I get, I have the trash seat next to me. The passenger seat is a trash seat. You leave it on the trash seat. How long do you leave it on the trash seat? I don't leave it in the trash seat. I leave it, I put it on the floor of the passenger side. Got it.

Um, look, I drive around alone. I'm not, I'm not leaving food in there. Like, say I got like a burrito or something from here, here we go. I got a chicken roller from Del Taco. Yikes. Love it. Hell yeah. I eat it and I got the wrapper.

I'm crumpling that up. I'm throwing it in the passenger side floor because there it is. It's close to me. I should have a bag or something that I throw it into. But it comes in a bag and he's jamming it in that bag. He's jamming in the bag. There's straw, straw wrappers. They're going on that and the, on the floor there too.

And then there's a dumpster down where I, where I park my car. So I'll just, I'll grab it at some point during the week or something. Or if I get a bag, I'll toss it all in a bag. If it's starting to look, if it's starting to look a little too much like a, like an actual trash seat, I'll, I'll fill up a bag and toss it away. It's tough. Yeah. It's a, it's a tricky thing.

We do a lot of things in our car wigs. It's true. Yeah. I, you do, you do a little too much in your car. All right. The old jack-in-ride. All right. Cookie.

Yeah. You'd, Cookie has got to take a show on the road. He's on tour. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at doughboyspodcast.gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830-463-6844. And to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, join the Golden

or Platinum Plate Club at patreon.com slash Doughboys. And hey, there's something else you should get pre-order Arden Marine's book, Little Miss, Little Compton right now. Arden, thank you so much for joining us. Tell us about the book and anything else you'd like to, to promote. Thank you so much. Well, there's a special, well, two things. Lauren Lopkus and I are doing a book release party on a Dynasty typewriter

on September 26th at 5 p.m. So you, it's $5 and the link will be up. And we're having a variety show. There's going to be comedians and musicians. We're going to do some readings and you can, if you, there's a thing with Skylight Books where you can get a custom signed book plate through there. Like I can sign it to you or your pal. I think it's a really funny read.

My parents married on a dare. They weren't dating and they stayed married and they moved from Manhattan to this tiny town with the coffee milks, coffee fraps and the grinders. And yeah, I think it's a funny relatable read. You know, I always talk about like, I wanted to move into my television and how I somehow finagled my way onto a sitcom by 20. I sort of give the full ride and, um, there's a crow in my town that was under house arrest, po the crow, because somebody was stealing mail

and that's a federal crime. And they found out that it was a crow. It was po the crow. There's a third largest drug bust in the history of the United States took place in that town. And the whole thing is, it's a real fun garbage shit show of me. My life is my worst off. So if you enjoyed me today, hopefully you enjoy that.

There's also, if you want to order the book for 250 people for your listeners, there you can get the book. And for free, also get a tote bag and a free like signed book plate. If you go to ardenmarinebook.com, that's my last name is A-R-D-E-N-M-Y-R-I-N book.com. That's for the first 250 people. Awesome. We'll link to that in our social media as well.

Thank you so much. Thanks for being here. Thanks guys. I was so excited to come on and you did not disappoint. What a treat. You rule. Yeah. Thank you for being here.

And hey, Mitch, that'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya, Cookie. Yes. On the next Doe Boys double, we're reopening up the feed bag. You song Lou returns to help field your burning questions.

What more can I say but wow? Nothing. That's what. Wow. Get the Doe Boys double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description. That was a hate gun podcast.