Doughboys - The Dopeboys 4/20 Smokestackular with Jon Gabrus

Episode Date: April 19, 2018

Good friend of the show Jon Gabrus (High and Mighty, ActionBoyz) returns to give weed novice Wiger a cannabis crash course while Mitch stays sober. As the munchies take hold, the 'boys taste test every Girl Scout cookie. A very "kind" episode, buddy! Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Psychoactive Compound in Cannabis, commonly known as THC. For much of America's history, cannabis was widely produced and readily available, from the colonial days until well after the Civil War, grown both for use as industrial hemp and for human consumption. Unfortunately, like much policy in the US, fear of minorities caused a reversal of progress. In the early 20th century, Mexican immigrants who entered the nation following their home country's revolution became associated with recreational use of cannabis, and the drug was stigmatized.

During the 1920s and 30s, pot was labeled as a cause of violent crime, which led to the drug being prohibited state by state and then nationwide, in fear of the so-called marijuana menace peaked with a 1936 propaganda film, Reef for Madness. A ratchet effect ensued for decades, as the 1950s saw the introduction of mandatory minimums, the 70s saw the creation of the DEA, and the 80s the ruinous war on drugs, leading to countless marijuana users, growers, and sellers serving needless prison terms. But in the 90s, it finally began to unwind, as former hippies reached middle age and the comparative mildness of marijuana versus other illegal and even legal drugs became undeniable.

In 1996, California passed Proposition 215 and became the first state in the nation to legalize marijuana for medicinal purposes. Twenty years later, voters passed Proposition 64, which legalized recreational usage in the Golden State, though the glacial pace of congressional action means the drug remains illegal at the federal level under 1970s controlled substances act. Still given the open operation of dispensaries and bud tenders in major California cities, the drug is de facto decriminalized, and not just here but along the entire left coast, as Nevada, Oregon, Washington, and even Alaska are among the nine states with legal recreational

use. Though it must be noted, here and nationwide, thousands of nonviolent pot users, disproportionately black and Latino, remain in prison under onerous drug laws. So why this topic for a podcast focused on chain restaurants? While the consumption of cannabis has one notable neurological effect, inducing the release of beta endorphins that stimulate the appetite, a phenomenon colloquially known as the munchies. This week, a special 420 Doe Boys.

Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Get's No Action Bronson, Mitchy Two Spoons, Mike Mitchell. Oh, making fun of my sex life. That insult was courtesy of Ryan Wells, if you have any insults you'd like to use on the show, that's show roastspoonmanageemail.com. Guy's saying you're having a dry spell. Yeah, I heard it.

I heard the insult. I was looking at things that I wanted to talk about. Yes. To you. We have like a notes app with topics of conversation. I did. I wrote down stuff. Oh, that's nice.

Wally pulled down a curtain onto my Borough coach. I already hit that. Right. Well, we discussed that on the Doe Boys double that came out this week. Yeah. We should do it again for the non-patreon subscribers. Tell us the fucking curtain story again. I forgot that I have to sit through all this bullshit in the morning in the beginning of

an episode, and you're fucking looking at your phone for small talk. That's the most sociable. That's a Nick Weiger thing. Yes. Hello, friend. You are in insert name here. I know. I know why.

I know why that I wanted it because there was two things I wanted to say. Yes. One is that for the first time ever in Hollywood, someone's, they sent me like a brand sent me something. Oh, okay. But hold on. It's not cool. We did behind the scenes things on love and I my character mentioned Mountain Dew and

so then Mountain Dew sent me four twenty ounce bottles of Mountain Dew. Wow. Very on scene. Strangest gift I've ever received. I loved it. I'm very thankful. I love do. I love to my diet do right retail value of six bucks, six dollars.

If they send a do hat, I would have. I would have got worn a do hat around town, but it was four bottles of Mountain Dew, four twenty ounce bottles of Mountain Dew wrapped. It probably cost more to ship than yeah probably, but because I did some back like behind the scene stuff on love where I mentioned Mountain Dew was my character. It wasn't even me and they know what they're doing with those there are twenty ounce bottles. There gets a little wink there. It's very zeitgeisty, very topical for the four twenty ounces, right?

You're just figuring this out. Yeah, we're we're writing it down and passing notes. You think that's what they were doing? I think it's just very on the nose. Do you nutball? I also want to give a shout out to Adam Wu Wu Tang. He was in a boxing match that now this is dated. Oh, so this is in memory of.

I'm going to give a shout out to Adam Wu died in a fist fight. You met. Oh, wait, I've met Wu a couple of times you met. But was he was he was he was he was he was already blacked out at our Austin show. He was being carried out. I think was when I met him in San Francisco. OK, all right. Oh, yes.

Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, I was a nightmare as well. Can't wait to really spend some time with. Any friend group where you're the coolest terrifies me. I mean, he will be very offended. I don't think that's cool. I've spent some time with frail bot and shanked in. I think Mitch is lower on the totem pole and a lot of these guys.

Well, you're not cooler than frail bot or shanked in. No, of course not frail bot. I think so. I don't think you met frail bot. How did I know I mean? Wait, you met Wu Tang. I met Wu Tang. I met shanked in.

You met shanked in. I met a bunch of my guess. I met Mike. I know who Dano. Yes, of course. That was great. That was very cool. Dano is the fucking Ben Affleck of your crew.

I am. Who are we? You're the fucking other guys in Goodwill. You're Matt Damon because you also look like you have downs. No, I'm just kidding. Good God. Oh, Jesus Christ. Sorry. Sorry.

Be problematic before being introduced. Only Gapers can bring that to this podcast. Well, by the way, I got a little dropped. Here we go. OK. I think it's a perfectly acceptable take. Yeah. Do you have a dumb drop to play?

I do. Is there any time we have a great guest in here? I can't look at him when I say this shit. And here's a drop. And guess what, Nick? We got a drop. Drop. And here's a little drop.

We got a drop. That's a good one. It's a spicy one. We can get ready for a long drop. And I've got a little drop. And here's a little drop. Drop. Here we go.

We got a little drop. I'm not going to play a drop. Here's a drop. I haven't listened to you. Drop. Drop. Drop. Drop.

Drop. Drop. Anyways, here we go. Here's a drop. Drop. Drop. People love the drop. Howdy-ho.

It's a sprue nation. Drop. I think this guy might have made that beat. I mean, it was certainly like a sample from Ocarina of Time. Uh-oh. What happened? What happened? What are you doing?

He's playing his workout mix. It was a remake. I think this guy might be a DJ. Okay. Uh, at Lindy Rossi. Lindum is his name. Or is it Lindon? He said best Lindum, but then his email says Lindon.

I would just say, read these emails before we come. We start recording and just have a sense of what you're going to say. It has a Zelda song you were talking about during my dinner with Weiger. Right. Yeah. Little Ocarina of Time main menu music. All right. Well, look, I've wasted enough time.

Let's get you. I want to hear your signature greeting. The one that is copyright infringement. How did you two spoons nation? I think it's a very funny bit. I do every episode. Right. Of course.

Didn't you promise just fucking vocal form of apnea? Who has waking apnea? I think I do have more of that now. Like, like, I feel like I'm like, like, getting that Gomorrian guards now. Yeah. Gabers. I was thinking there was a if you and I wrestled because WrestleMania was this past weekend. We could be in a sleep apnea match.

Whoever gets the mask on the other person and puts them to sleep. They're the winner of the man. The person who goes to sleep is the winner. It's the seapaple grapple. I feel like what I feel like you guys are losing consciousness pretty quick in that man. I feel like I can't even imagine sprinting to the ring. Two blown MCLs and a heart attack.

Do you think you could? You're an athletic guy. Yeah, I am not. You can use past tense there. You were an athletic guy. Do you ever beat because I was like we when we were watching wrestling and just see like when I was younger I did back like I did a little backyard wrestling like once or twice with my buddy Joe right to army who is who's great.

I was wondering if you're going to give us his last name and what his mom's restaurant serves some other Quincy bullshit. I believe his mom was a nurse. Right Joe. You can tell me if I was wrong. He listens to the podcast. Yeah, you're right, Mitch. The phone is lighting up.

It must be Joe's mom from the hospital. She was because Joe went to Aruba. I told the story where I got a mug off my head in Aruba. I was this is this is an insane thing. By the way, our guest is the host of the podcast. Hi and mighty right here on head gum and the podcast action boys, which you can get on patreon.com slash action boys with a Z. John Gabriel.

Thank you for joining us, Gabriel. Thank you so much for having me. I'm sorry. I went against the current method of break. I can't sit through it. No, it's chaos. This is great. It's perfect for our for today's episode.

It's confusing to be with Mitch when he's on his phone, even though he's doing it for work, right? That's just having a conversation with him normally. Yes. So it's hard to register. Oh, he might actually be doing something important, not scrolling through some bullshit while you talk. I'm a busy man.

Hey, Jabba. No. Bye. He just looks at his phone as jokes amount. Jabba does not have a cell phone. He would though. I guess now he would. But in the special edition, they put a cell phone.

So we I was backstage at the UCB theater. This was years ago. Yeah. And we were just having a conversation. I think like before after a show. Yeah. And you were just feeling something in your scalp, Mitch. And then you just were like, oh, and then you you pulled your hands down and

you had a little piece of glass. That's right. A piece of window glass. It was it was that was the first time it happened in a very long time. Yeah. And you were like, oh, some glass just came out of my head. And I was like, what the what the fucking talking about the fucking rock biter from never.

Yeah. And you told me the story. You get someone smashed a mug over your head, Naruba, right? I got a mug thrown at my head in Naruba. Hey, we should talk about because I got a mug broken over my head in Poughkeepsie. Did you really? Wow.

Dear God, a big like and it was a duff beer mug like a Homer Simpson mug. We are like this. Sometimes we have like that when Homer invites the Simpsons family and you and I if there is more of us out there, I'm sure, but you're you're the Long Island. I'm the Boston version, I guess, but yeah, I got a mug over my head. Like my people got into a fight. There was a scuffle.

I just started walking over to be like, hey, let's get out of here. Truly I want. I don't. I'd never like to fight. I never the only people I thought were my friends back in the day because that's how I did in Quincy. So I was walking over to and and the guy was like a ways away. He had a good arm and it was one of those thick bottomed mugs.

Oh, and so he hit me in my favorite Queen song by the way, thick bottomed mugs. He he he he nailed me from a good distance probably like from where I am to like even maybe where the wall this wall. This doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it doesn't even make sense to the people in the room. No less listeners. Why don't you try feet? All right.

He was probably 20 maybe 15 to 20 feet away. He was a distance. He was a ways away. He hit me with the mug. It split my head open and then it shattered and I was wearing a Red Sox hat. Luckily at the time or else I would have gotten fucked up terribly and blood. I took off my hat blood just started pouring down my face. My friend Kelly Rose was like, are you gonna die?

Like she asked me that and I was like, what would what women but I was also like, how bad is this? Yeah. So we were at Carlos and Charlie's the place where the Natalie Holloway got. This was the last place she was seen alive, which this is before that's why you went there. This is before all that happened. You and your friends acted out John Lennon shooting in front of Dakota, right?

This is before all of that. This was maybe a year or two before all of it happened, not the same year and we. So we we try to get back in the club. They wouldn't lessen the club. We went to and then my buddy Joe got punched. So Joe tour me and it's it's split his lip open like the Joker. Wait, what is your tour me's mom do? Nurse.

All right. Okay, good. Which comes in handy here because we went to the Aruba hospital. We like walked through like a weird desert through cacti. We got to the hospital and they just like nonchalantly. So does both back up. I got to college and I was home on some Friday or Saturday night. I'm sure it was rubbing my head and I was like, man, this is like scabbing up again.

It's probably. This is probably like a year later glass came out of my head like sea glass and that happened like a bunch more. It happened like that's like worn down. It was it was worn down. It was crazy because they got most. I think they got most of it out, but there was like it's happened like four or five time.

It happened quite a bit. Do you think it's all out at this point? I think it's all. I mean, it's a it's a pretty bad scar, but Joe Joe's lip got split open like the Joker and and his got some, but his mom like I think redid it and made it better because it wasn't. It was a nasty. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, we I think we started the trouble probably. Yeah. Oh, the the cup I got broken over my head was my fault. I was I was I was trying to get everyone. I was in a fight. Yeah. That's what I assumed.

I would have hit the guy who was doing what I was doing with a mug of giving the I was I was going to break it up. It was in walking over there. I saw and then I saw swings happen and then I think some guy saw me walking over. He thought I was a threat. So wrong. It's happening in my whole life. I'm such a cowardly man, right?

But you're if you're because you have loud, crazy friends who kind of some are tough. I'm guessing and but anytime there's like shenanigans, people look over and they're like that big guy is the problem. Yeah. That's me. Like I would get in fights in college all the time because I was tall, big and had like frosted tips and I was wearing like a Hawaiian shirt and I'm like got all my friends around me and I'm like chugging beers and like doing bits and like you just other guys

just hate you. Yeah. Like anytime I'm like partied at another college, somebody tried to fight me. Yes. Yeah. Frosted tips. Yeah. I was a problem.

Wow. Yeah. I mean I am. What the fuck? I had bleach blonde hair like senior year of high school and then I had frosted tips like Pacey in college. I got to see a pic of this. I only would have hated you if I like walked by and you're like fucking fat like if you

made fun of me or something. Right. And you probably would have done that. Yeah. But I feel like it's how black people can say the n-word to each other. Like I can call you fat, right? Oh boy. Now I don't know what I said wrong there.

I truly don't believe I said anything wrong. That's my own thing to deal with. The audience just heard like three beeps and then me going. I don't know what I said there. That was Mitch's EKG. I didn't like it. Like I think that's a part of it. I mean I liked college and I liked to party.

You don't get me wrong. But I do always think that they do single out a big guy because they're like one big guys have, you know, they have no feelings when we're sense. A lot of the time we're very sensitive. And then two, I think they think that you're you're tough or you like to find. I never been like that. I think there might also be a pragmatic approach with a group of guys of like, oh, we got to take care of that big guy.

Like we're going to we're going to get, you know, that guy's going to cause a lot of trouble. So that's what my dad said to me when I was a kid. He's like, Jody, if you're ever to fight against a number of different guys, you're to your dad Donald. My dad, that's why I'm able to do a Donald Trump impression is because that's what my dad actually sounded like. Wow. It's really weird.

And my dad kind of looked like him because he had like blonde balding hair and like blue eyes and like a red fucked up face from alcohol from alcohol instead of piss. And Jody, if you have a group of guys ever try to start a fight with you, you hit the biggest one first as hard as you fucking kid. He said like me and my brothers do it all the time. Cleared your robe. I used to say Cleared your robe clean our room. But it is pragmatic advice.

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. If you're a multiple encounter and an RPG, you might want to take out the orc chieftain before you take out the orcs. Now you're speaking my language giving bonuses of armor to his underlings to like leadership morale. Right. That was mad at you.

No wonder why everyone's trying to kick my ass because I'm loudly explaining Sacco in a bar to hit armor class zero. Thank you. Why girl? It's unfamiliar with the acronym throughout the course of this episode. I'm going to be like my normal Benedict Arnold self just jumping from side to side. The ongoing dispute between the two of you. I'm a nerd.

I'm fat. My dad would always like box with me a little bit and like would always how he died. Right. Yeah. I fuck. I finally took him out. He's like when you beat when you do you didn't you didn't kill him in the ring. He died from shame from losing to you.

My dad watch five episodes of guy code back to back and kill. Eight hundred thousand dollars for college for this bullshit. My dad sadly like still had like a little fake boxing match me like when he had like when he was sick. He had cancer like later on and still whipped with my ass. He was way tougher than I was. Well though who was tough and he fought for charity. I believe and he's who was a tough guy and he I think he I've never been in a boxing

match like a real boxing match. Hey we're both trying to get in shape. Should we start box? Should we box each other for charity? You or you would beat the hell out of me. I'm so sure of it. You would beat the hell out of me. I can't even imagine hurting that face or head of yours and I don't mean like it's

so cute. I don't want to hurt it. I mean how do you even hurt that right? You get a built-in football. You're flying that. I mean yes. God damn it. I can't get to like home.

His liver is surrounded by a protection of fat. I can't get anything on this guy's body. I can't find liver shots in a row and he's smiling. Yeah I've never been in any sort of actual martial arts sparring. I mean I've been in like some schoolyard scrums but I've never actually I can't imagine being in some sort of MMA situation. Schoolyard scrums? Yeah.

I've been in I took Taekwondo when I was a kid so I did some like sparring with pads and then I did Brazilian jiu-jitsu BJJ in the city as an adult in New York City as an adult and I got my ass kicked a few times. But never in like always in like training. One time a dude I tapped out because a dude was just holding me down. He wasn't even doing a move. When it's a weight class thing the guys who do sports that weigh as much as I do are studs.

They're like I do jiu-jitsu because I'm 250 pounds and shredded and instead I'm 250 and not. That dude just fucking held my wrist down and his chest was in my face. He was just so strong that I tapped and he literally stopped and went did you just tap and I was like yeah and he goes I wasn't even doing anything and I literally was like I couldn't breathe and he's like sorry. I was like so humiliated. It's like all right heavy weights you you this guy just smokes me in seconds.

That's that is that's the other thing too is if like when you're are I said this before but when I when I wrestled I had a guy I was teamed up with tugboat. I put this guy tugboat on my back and he weighed he weighed quite a bit. What would when did you wrestle in junior high? I wrestled in my freshman year. I wrestled for the full year and then I tried it again for like three practices my junior year and that and that was it might even been like one because I wrestled in junior high.

What was your weight class freshman year? Oh, it was the highest. It was it was it was like whatever to because I think it was like what it was something and above and I think it was like I think the number is kind of like not as high as you think one eighty five and above. Yeah, it was something like that. Yeah, I wrestled seventh grade at one forty two. Whoa.

Yeah, I mean it's seventh grade. You're eleven. Yeah, like you're not and or however old you are at that age and the only other people in the grade that were one forty two were people who have gone fully through puberty early. Like all the Greek kids, you know, and they're all like muscular and like I weigh one forty two and I'm like me to just like little bitch tits like little puffy nipples getting body slammed around.

I like that Greek blood. That's good. They do. They do. It seems like they do seem like men and when you're younger, what is it about those Mediterranean men? It's the olive oil. It's all the olive oil.

I was going to ask if you were because just watching wrestling. I was like, oh man, what a good life it would be to be a professional wrestler. That is the most untrue. Yes. Like famously the worst lives ever. But I do think about it because it combines two things I love like talking to strangers or audiences and like some kind of physical feats. Like I like that.

Yeah. And like, you know, pain pill abuse. Those are my big three drinking most nights. I definitely envy that forty six year lifespan. Sounds pretty great to me. I was wondering. I don't have the balls to kill myself. I'm a wrestler to slowly die that way to die.

Yeah. Choke on your own vomit. I guess at one point. Uh, uh, Gabriel, could you could you pull off any like the of the acrobatic? Could you like flip and stuff a little bit? I did some wrestling at UCB in in New York. We had UCBW right here. And I, you know, I played a few different characters over the years and I could do a

lot of stuff. And my physical feats for improv comedy wrestling was I'm able to pick up people over my head. Yeah. So that was like my stunts. I wouldn't do flips or anything like that. Uh-huh. But I think I could.

Yeah. I'll do it. I'll go Owen Hart right from the after. He wasn't trying to. But I'll do it. I ain't afraid of no ghost. Ghost of Owen Hart. Dear God.

I, I, I can do, I like, you know, I would always give like people piggyback and stuff. And then at my, uh, my friend, Mike Ramondi's wedding, I was one of the groomsmen. I was, uh, I was coming out to a song and I had one of the, the bridesmaids on my back and I was like dancing as, as I see. I had her on my back and coming out and I just felt my knee give out and I went down and like put my arm up in her. I grabbed her necklace. Her necklace exploded.

Beads went everywhere. We both fell to the ground. She's wearing rosary at a wedding. It was, it was, it was, it was like a, like a necklace with be, you know, like pearls or whatever. She's yelling out. I never agreed to this in the first place. Let go of me, mister.

I'm from a different wedding. Get on my back, sweetheart. And then as we were watching the first dance, their first dance, I just saw the pearl, like there was like a pearl or two, like rolling out on the floor and I was like, oh fuck, are they gonna fucking trip right? Are they gonna like slip on the final destination? It really, it really wasn't. Thank God it did not, but it was like very, very close to happening.

It was terrifying. So that's, I knew what I lost. I knew what that moment when I lost it of being able to pick people up. I was at my Tiff's friends wedding, my wife's friends wedding one time and the Dirty Dancing song came on and I picked Tiffany up like Patrick Swayze picks up Jennifer Gray and like kind of spun around and like the bride saw me do that and they're like, you got to do that to the bride. So then I did it to the bride.

I'm like strong enough to hold a woman up over my head. But then I, when I put her down, there was a line of like six bridesmaids like, can I go? And my wife was like, look, I mean, I never felt more like, I felt masculine for the first decade where women are like, can you, and meanwhile it's just King Kong. In the end, it was heart failure that killed the beast. I want to hear about a schoolyard scrum. Yeah, me too. Oh boy.

I had, there's nothing interesting. You never had like autistic nerd rage on someone that was bullying you. I feel like you were the kind of kid who was like, a kid like knocks your books out of your hand. He turns around to walk and you like pick up the textbook and fucking hit him in the like I reach it. Yeah. I reach something.

I just boil over and snap. No, I never really had that. That never really happened. I got in just a few. It was just like elementary school, uh, uh, fisticuffs. It was those other two. I mean, like I, like I punched a kid a couple of times. I don't know.

I feel, I don't feel good about it. These aren't, they're not good stories. Hold on. This, and I just want to make it clear that you were an adult and you went to a school. Yeah. I've been in a few schoolyard scrums. All these bullies at the school that I walked past to get to the bus or ferry or however you travel around L.A.

Here's the one thing I did that was, that was, that was particularly bad. My, uh, my neighbor was, so my neighbor was this kid scoop and he was like a teenager. He was a lot of scoop. Of course. I met scoop. Scoop is a good guy. Um, and, uh, but he was like a, he was on the football team. He was a boxer.

I thought it was so cool and like he was like, he had a heavy bag in the backyard. I went over there one day and he was like throwing me out, showing me how to throw punches. Um, and so I was like, ah, I thought this was a really cool skill. And then at my friend's birthday party, my friend Jonathan's birthday party, he was like bothering me. So like I just, I went like with, you know, the boxing form I'd been taught and just like, like punched him square in the nose, like as hard as I could. And like he fell to the ground and like instantly started sobbing.

Like his nose was bleeding. Jesus. I just ruined this kid's birthday. And it was his birthday party. And when I think back on it as like, I was like, I kind of did it for like, it wasn't that what he'd been doing to me wasn't like, did, did not deserve this at all. Like that's a big move to like punch someone in the face at their birthday. It was a bit of an overreaction.

There's a very much an overreaction invited to the next birthday idea. We have remained friends for years. It was fine. It's a wonder under the bridge. Uh, that was like the one true one-on-one fight I got into in high school was like a kid challenged me to a fight. Um, he got thrown out of class cause, uh, he was like being crazy. And then he was like, I'll fucking fight you after school.

I was like, fine. And I got like kind of nervous. And I'm like, I guess I'm walking out to fight this kid. And my friends are all like, go kick his ass. And I'm like, I've been in like scuffles and I was like, okay, here we go. And I'm like walking out there. I'm carrying like my swim bag with like my goggles and wet speedo on the outside of it.

And I'm like walking over and he's like, Hey, hey man. And he like has his hands out. And one of the advice I've always gotten is like, you know, with most of these fights just hitting first wins, right? So I just like dropped my bag and he like looked down at my bag for a second. And I just wound up and punched him in the face as hard as I could. Oh my God. And he like fell to the ground and then was like getting up.

And I just like leapt on him and just started like Christmas story. Hey, well, yeah. Once, once, once, once a guy like you or I, that was always my move was to somehow put my blob body on top of the person. To press my erect penis into their abdomen. And I just like kick this dude's ass and then like I've thought that moment over so much in my life and I'm pretty sure if I really thought about it. I don't allow myself.

I think he was coming up to me to be like, Hey, look man, I'm sorry. I'm almost positive. He was coming up with like an olive branch and I was so keyed up on like, I don't want to lose. Right? His story is probably like terrified. Like he's terrified. That's what's funny is that you're probably both equally terrified.

Yeah. If you're about to fight someone who's not scared, that's bad because that's that's a person who's done it before. Yes, exactly. That's what I've heard. If someone's looking at you dead in the eye, you'd be like, okay, this person's possibly crazy. The proliferation of MMA and like that kind of training means that like it used

to just mean like, oh, well, this guy is five eight, 155 pounds, not a problem. But now like five eight, 155 pound guys with Napoleon complexes are all of a like, you know, power clean 235 and like our MMA. You're like, oh man, now I can't even fight like a small guy. Oh, yeah. I was like, you cannot get choked out by a guy who's five five. Oh, no way. Yeah.

Yeah. No offense. Yeah, probably good. We all could. Yeah. But it hurts like if someone saw that happen to me, it's like that much worse to be a little guy. I think you probably would enjoy this.

How much does the guy win? Super specific fetishes. And once I'm passed out, does he just leave the room or does he video me? Walker, I feel like a lot of your schoolyard scuffles comes from now you stealing a minion backpack. Those are my Yu-Gi-Oh cards. They're my Yu-Gi-Oh cards now. Look, I have the income to buy all this stupid kid shit I want.

So this is never a steal for many kids. Like a rattle and a diaper. You have a stupid kid stuff. I want to give some a bottle fetish. My wife is nursing me. Come on. I'd nurse off Irma. I was like, don't say Natalie.

I was like, please don't say Natalie. I was gonna say Irma. Yeah, I don't know if that's better. I jerk off to my wife breastfeeding my dog. There's a chance that could have been a just a complete non sequitur. I feel like at any moment in the conversation, you could have dropped that. I just want to be real. All right, we've got some business to attend to.

This is our 420 episode. Tons of business. We want to talk SEO. So Gabriel, I know you're something of a, I called Matt Besser a pod head before and he said it was pejorative. So I won't say that, but you're something of a weed enthusiast. I'm not going to blow your mind here, but I'm a little more chill than Besser. Feel free to call me whatever.

You're not going to give us a note session after the podcast. Why all those sub games? But you like, when did you start smoking weed? And how regular of a ritual is it for you? Yeah, I have a story in history with weed. I smoked weed in high school like everyone does. I had a couple of random parties and who knows what it really was. And then I thought I was going to be an FBI agent.

So I quit and then I didn't do, I didn't smoke weed again until a friend's bachelor party when I was like 24. Wow. Yeah. So I took like from like 17 to I took like seven years. I didn't smoke weed in college. That's crazy to think about knowing you. Wow.

You didn't smoke weed in college. No, I didn't. You know what it was? I wasn't smoking weed because I thought I was going to be an FBI agent. Then I went away to college, got really into drinking and being out and partying. And then like my college roommates started smoking weed like on Sundays or like randomly at the end of the night. And I found them to be really annoying.

Yeah. And I mean, there's, there are that in college, I feel like the people who are discovering that for the, some of the, not all of them, but some of them can be pretty annoying. And also when you're broke with weed, it gets like, it comes, it's too desperate. Yeah. You know, we're sort of like, come on over here. Let's smoke a joint. Yeah.

Don't tell, don't tell Mitch. We don't have enough of Mitch. Oh, if Mitch is going to smoke, you better give us each a dollar. You know, it's like all that college bullshit where you get like these 12 beers are mine. Who had two? I put these 12 here and now I only have 10. It's like that shit's not like, it drove me up a fucking wall. Right.

So I was like, I'm not even going to smoke weed. And I, you know, I met Tiff. I met my wife and we were, I was like kind of getting even serious with her when I was 21. So I was like, oh, you know, she doesn't smoke. I don't, she didn't drink either at the time. She eventually had to come around. I can't keep fucking this thing sober. I can't keep letting him drip fucking cleavage sweat onto my head as he bumps five times on top.

I just happened to look directly at MS. I said that and I was like, no, I am uncomfortable. Um, but then at, uh, Adam Pally's bachelor party with some, uh, friends of the pod, Gillo's area, et cetera. We started, I started, I smoked a little weed and I was like, this is fun. Yeah. And then I kind of smoked every once in a while in New York, then I got a delivery guy in Brooklyn. And then I had some weed friends on my improv teams that we would be like, let's get high after this. So I started getting high after every law firm, then getting high after every outlook of the poet.

And I was like getting high after shows. And I'm like, this is really got into it on my own. Then I moved to California. And then I swung too hard one way and didn't leave the house for like 18 months when I first moved here. One part lack of work and friends and social things to do. Um, one part legal weed. And now I've finally developed a healthy relationship with him. Well, that's good.

Yeah. More or less. I consider it healthy. I think, you know, other people might frown upon the amount of weed I smoke. But if I was having a glass of wine, as much as I had weed, no one would say a thing. Yeah, it's true. I think that, I think the stigma behind it is, is disappearing. I mean, certainly out here, it's like, you know, I feel like right now,

I feel like recreational use, no one's, no one really bats an eye, at least in kind of our social circle. It's like a totally, totally acceptable thing. I smoked when I was, when I was, you know, 14 or 15 or so. I'm pretty young, which I think not everyone. I don't think everyone does smoke in high school. Well, I said the other day to maybe it was Lapkis was telling me she didn't like drink until, or someone was telling me they didn't drink until like college.

And I was like, I was drinking every Friday and Saturday night from like eighth grade until college. Right. That was more of what I was like in Quincy too. Just standing in a park, chugging tall boys. Which is why we're like we are most likely dying. But I, but I, when I went to college, actually my first couple of years, I rode crew, which everyone did. You got too good of sure.

But that's, that's when I would see. I didn't take a break from smoking weed. I took a break from hooking up with girls in college. That was mine. And when are you going to get off that break? I know I'm proud of you. What's this 15 years now? I, but I, I smoked a lot because I couldn't, in my first two years, I couldn't,

I couldn't drink that we had practices on Saturday. So I couldn't drink a lot on Friday night or whatever. And then during the week, it's your first couple of years, it's hard. You know how it can be harder to get booze anyways. So I smoked, I smoked, I smoked a lot of weed. That's what, that's what, and then I kept doing it. And then I did it when I was out here, but I've gone opposite where I've now fallen off and I don't do it. I always took you.

I thought like in my head, the birthday boys are a bunch of like weed smoking weirdos. And then when you meet them, you're just a group of weirdos. Yeah, we're just a group of weirdos. I mean, I was probably the closest one to, like a couple of those guys do smoke, but like my sophomore year, I was kind of a pothead, I would say. Wow. And like, I smoked all the, all the time. What about since moving out to LA?

It just, it like eventually just kind of, and then my anxieties got too high and then it was over. Oh, does it make you anxious to smoke it? Or does it just exacerbates existing anxiety? Yeah, basically. Oh, okay. For a lot of people, they find it counters their anxiety. Yes. But for some people it does double down.

And I think that's, if I can be old man weed over here, I think that's you're smoking the wrong stuff in the wrong amounts. Right. Yeah, probably. That's a great segue. I brought you guys some welcome to head gum gifts. Oh, hell yeah. That I'd like to give you.

Is there a head, head gum bong? No, no, it's these are all you talk about. Nick is like wanting to learn how to smoke weed. Yes. And how to do it. So I brought you guys these awesome dosist pens. Whoa. Oh, wow.

It's called, they have different flavors like bliss, passion. You know, this one's called sleep. And this is like all just like heavy pure indica, like put you, put you down. Not like it's not going to, it's not a sedative. Right. It relax you. It shouldn't be as head high. It should be more body high.

And for you, Weiger and for everyone, but this is specific to you. It will buzz a little in your mouth when you've had one dose of a hit. Oh, that's useful. It's as idiot-proof as it can be. Right. So like, Thank you, Gabriel. Before bed, you just take a little token till it buzzes.

And it shouldn't be anxiety inducing. Yeah. And if it is, It will be a good test. Yeah. And if it is, then you might have a certain issue with it. And I would say maybe the issue is not with pot, but it's somewhere deep in your psyche. Yeah.

And for you, Nick, I think you were talking, I've, you know, I'm a big fan of, I listen to this every week and I also listen to dumbbells and you talk about having a hard time going to sleep. Yes. Yeah. This should age you with that. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So that's wonderful. These are high quality. And now you can just walk into a store and buy those. Again, if you ever wanted to, they make bigger ones a higher capacity. I like, I have one of these on my nightstand for if I wake up in the middle of the night and I don't feel like I'm going to be able to fall back asleep. Oh, wow. All right.

Yeah. I got to give this a go. It really works well. It's less of a, it's more of a body high. It's more of like a body relaxation, sort of like wind down high, you know. Looking on the back, they have, they have a lot of information on this. It's crazy. It has to now.

Like it's crazy. Right. It's like, it's like basically a nutrition facts. But it tells you where the cannabinoids and terpene levels are. Yeah. It has THC level CBD, accessory cannabinoids. Boy. Linolol, terpeneal.

What are all these terms? They're all cannabinoids that are in marijuana that give it different. I'm pretty sure, and I might, I'm speaking a little out of turn here, because I don't know that much, but like terpenes are what give it its scent or flavor. Like it's just an element of the cannabinoids. So some of them are lemony. Some of them are cheesy, you know, and that's all comes from the Terps. And then the other like THC is what activates the brain CBD is the like body high, the non-psychoactive.

And that this has a little bit of that in there too. I think you guys might enjoy them and it's crazy. I just got anxious thinking about. Yeah. That's crazy. That is insane. That's a problem. That's an issue.

Speaking of acronyms. This is something you could smoke while listening to some DMB image. DMB. So let's, so let's, let's get into it because I think part of the purpose of part of our mission statement for today is that we're going to, we're going to smoke a little marijuana. We're going to get a little, we're going to have a little Mary Jane here. This made me so excited to find out that when, when, like this is how this is my life. Why her texts, the three of us are on a chain, you text and say like, Hey, do you want to

come over, smoke weed, do some activity for the podcast and with us? And I'm like, yes. And I'm like, I'm available. And then I'm like, yo, pump the brakes. It's like a girl going, Hey, do you want to grab coffee? I'm like, here are my five hour availability slots. I would love to. I love it.

I'm always pumped to come on dough boys and I'm always pumped to smoke dope and when you guys want me to combine the two. I'm so excited. Well, we were probably going to have to, for me, we're going to have to do another time. I got to break the news. Yes. I'm not smoking weed. Yeah.

I'm not. That's fine. I can't. I have work. I have two things I have to do tomorrow. I can't do. I have an audition. I'll be, I'll say it even.

That's completely reasonable. I'm sure. I don't think people think you're doing surgery tomorrow. All right. I'll tell you, it's not a triathlon. It's an audition. That's fine, Mitch. I would love to come back.

I mean, I'll come by one night before bed and tuck you in with a little sleep. I'm worried about your health, man. So that that that'll help you go to bed at like a reasonable human hour. So you can wake up at a human hour and before some activities before the sun comes up and also guess what marijuana doesn't affect? What's that? Your liver. Oh, I didn't know that because your body doesn't have to process it there.

So I've more or less replaced alcohol with weed, which I don't know if that's, you know, I have a lot of friends who are in recovery for like in AA smoke weed every single day. And it's just like not as much of a problem for them as weed. Yeah. What's the, the, the cliche like stuff like stop what's killing you fastest first. Right. It's like, it's like, you know, like, yeah, maybe I'll get off of my opiate addiction and smoking cigarettes helps me do that.

Deal with that. Yeah. This isn't great for me. So fine. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But I found that with weed, I'm able to do more stuff the next day.

I don't feel like I have diarrhea all morning. Yeah. And it's way less calories if you can control the munchies. Wow. I'm looking around. Speaking of which. At the Captain Phasma Funko doll or pop. Sorry.

We have, we're going to be tasting some stuff too, Nick. Yeah. We've got, we've got, there's a little surprise with one of the boxes. The surprise is that you opened one of the boxes. We're going to be testing flavored condoms. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more dough boys. Welcome back to dough boys.

A special 420 edition. We're here with John Gabriel. And hey, we're going to smoke a little reefer. Now we have yet to choke up if you will. I won't say if our engineer is going to do it or not, but she, I'm shocked. You better not. You're going to go reefer man. So we're smoking a hybrid, which is a blend in between Sativa and Indica.

And some are Sativa dominant, which is Sativa for you guys is the head stuff, the psychoactive element. Right. The, the, I call it movie weed. I want to smoke Sativa and then watch a movie. Like that's like get your brain going. And then Indica, the way to remember that is into couch. That's the one that knocks you out to put you down.

I like that one. This is a hybrid. So it's a blend between the two from one of my new favorite grass companies, lol smokes. They make like packs of cigarettes more. They make 12 packs of joints. And buying them is like the coolest thing I think you could do. That is cool.

That's what I bought weed when I was younger. There were sticks and seeds for real. That's what I was going to say is the degree of debt. That was always what stopped me from, from smoking. One of the things that stopped me from smoking, even though I smoked some weed as a youth over drinking. So Cal surfer boy. Got it.

Got to rip that buzz dude. You can tell by the way you say a youth. The two youths. Look, I'm no stranger to the can can, but. I can't believe I want you. I mean, you're holding it insanely. Yeah, but part of the issue was that. Yeah, I know.

I feel like Charles Nelson Riley here on the match game. Yeah, you put like a four inch filter on. The part of the degree of difficulty. So the fact that you can just buy a joint now where you can just buy like a little, you know, dosage pen like you, you got for us. Gabriel. But anyway, let me, let me go ahead and take a, take a rib ski.

Yeah. So it was fun. You didn't know. Oh yeah. French inhaled it came out of his nose. The dude knows what he's doing. It doesn't look like he's, but look at him. Watch.

No, he's getting it. Jesus Christ. Well, all right. That you're not coughing is insane. I took a couple of, I could take a couple of, of hits. Yeah. If you will. I'm feeling that you might murder me.

No, this, imagine we just unlock like the fucking, like Rico Suave version of wife. Like all of a sudden he's like, you guys, who else just wants fucking pussy? His hair is like slick. He's like the mask. Yeah. It's like a nutty professor scenario.

I guess Mitch would still be the clump. A clump. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. What, so what should I be feeling here? Should I be starting to get like, should I be feeling anything? Yeah.

That's the other thing about weed versus booze. We hit you in a minute. Yeah. Yeah. So I should be getting like a little, I feel like maybe a little mellow and hazy. Have you, have you, have you, when, when's the last time you felt you got high?

Well, I smoked some weed with gabris after we did a live high and mighty show at the UCB theater. The infamous live high and mighty show. Where Weigar revealed secrets. That have now been talked about incessantly. Oh God. You smoked a lot of weed afterwards with us, but I think you might have been like a little bit buzz from.

I was pretty drunk at that point. So I, I didn't, I couldn't isolate the effect as far as the last time I've been just like, just high. I don't know if I could, it's been a long time. It's been since college. It's been since college. I think probably I was like a sophomore in college. Let me tell you some crazy stuff happens after I won't go into details,

but crazy stuff can happen after those high and mighty. Mine wasn't a high and mighty, but it was. No, it was the power. It was a power. It was the year before. Yeah. I got it. If you're both in town for this Thanksgiving Eve, we're going to,

I've both you lunatics. Yeah, some crazy stuff does happen. And now I'm remembering what the reference you're referencing. There you go Weigar. As we say in the biz, you got, you got a cough to get off. I think wires are going to get very high. And I do, I do have to do work Weigar.

So you have to leave immediately. I'm going to stay and do work with you. Yeah. Gavors is an actor. Um, we, uh, I think a lot of people's when they have negative experiences with weed, it's often after an evening of drinking. Oh, okay. I'll think, I think the two, so some people can handle the two.

Some people could differentiate the two, but for some people it's like sort of like, what's it called? Like the sum is greater than the whole or whatever. Right. And I was about to say the spins. You get the old spins. They like affect each other exponentially. You know what I mean?

Yes, I got it. So like you're even drunker and even higher than you would be from five beers or one joint. Oh, that makes sense. They sort of work synergistically together. So I always like warrant cause like my wife is like, uh, I don't like to get high. I always get like sick. I'm like, that's cause you have tried edibles and also the only time you ever go,

I want to hit is when you're drunk. So of course, if you, if you try one hit one time when you're sober, you can get a feel for what you, cause for a lot of people, you're talking about your anxiety or people who get fucked up smoking weed. For a lot of them, they're doing the equivalent of like, let me try alcohol and then drinking a bottle of red wine. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean?

And you're like, no, no, that's not how it works. You would have like two beers in your dad's basement first. Right. There's been plenty of times where I was drunk and then smoked weed and got like spins or Scott sick, but I was also at one point was good at smoking and being drunk. I could do, I could do both. I'm still like that. I'm like a horse.

I have the skill to just stand, smash alcohol, just drain joints and just keep screaming in people's faces. I wonder how I would do now. I mean, like, I feel like once you have done it enough, but, but, but I haven't, but I don't smoke anymore is what I'm saying. So I wonder if I'll come over and we'll get high and hit the recumbent bike and play video games, taking turns. I'll do that with you.

I like that. I've never, I've never worked out how like a lot like a, I have friends who will get high and then, and then go for like runs. Yeah. I have a lot of friends who I have a friend who recommended Pat Walsh. Very funny comedian recommended get fully dressed in your workout clothes and your running sneakers, then get high. And then you're kind of like, oh, I fucking got running sneakers on.

Let me go for a long walk. I go, I get high and walk the dog for like an hour. You know what I mean? Yeah. If I'm like, or sometimes I'm like, I want to just get high. But I probably should exercise. I'll get stoned and like bang out like dumbbell routines in my office while watching Conan the Barbarian on Amazon.

That's a true event from a week ago. Is that, is that kind of your taste level for movies when you're high? I feel like I'm still got, I'm still in that. It's not like there is smoke in your. Yeah. I feel like I've still got a cough, a little something out, but like you, you feel like you want to watch like an action movie. Is that what you're into?

See, for me, like I love to rewatch movies when I'm stoned because then I don't miss anything. You know what I mean? Like then I'm like, or I'm seeing it again for a new way. But if I'm being completely honest, I don't think I've watched a movie not high in three years. Wow. Sometimes I'll have to watch a movie and it'll be like in the morning or early on. I have to watch it for some reason or I, and I might not be, but if it's like, if I'm

sitting down to watch a movie, I'll get stoned. That's very, and I have a podcast where I have to watch a movie every week. So maybe I'm setting myself up for this situation. I don't know why. I don't know why I get anxiety. Like I don't know. I don't know why it's so strongly associated with getting high now, but I think maybe the fact that I did other stuff, which probably didn't like a, like I'm saying like other

like, like hallucinogens and stuff that didn't, that probably right. And then you think weed is like that at all. Yeah. Yeah. I had a bad trip and then being in that place or whatever. I think so. I would also think it's not good to roll into like smoking a joint with anxiety, like tons of anxiety.

Right. I think you're going to just end up escalating that. Yep. So Weigert, do you want to try to, uh, cause you're a wordsmith, do you want to try to articulate what you're feeling? Cause I tried to explain to Tiffany what being high felt like and realized it's kind of corny anyway. You try to describe it.

Well, here's the thing. I don't know. Are you feeling anything that I'm feeling something. I'm feeling like a little like, like dazed. I'm feeling like a little, like I'm looking through a pane of, of frosted glass. That's what I described. I described to Tiffany as everything gets a little fuzzy. Right.

Like a little fuzzy. Yeah. Where you're like, wait, or, uh, the other way to tell often like this is like kid stuff, but I'm, it's fun using this with adults, like move your head very quick to the left or right. And do you feel like your eyesight is not at the same pace as it should be? Yeah. So I've turned to the left and then your brain's like, ah, I got there.

Right. Sort of like a wily coyote type thing. You can kind of, I'm realizing, by the way, it's spinning my head back and forth, not talking. I should know this by now on my 600th hour of podcast. Could be a programming issue with Liger as well. Right. It could be.

We just need an update. If you want to do a soft reboot of him, you know what you have to do? You have to put your hand in his mouth and his ass all the same. And he spins like a rotisserie Jesus Christ. So there is a chance that weiger you get weiger hooked on weed. I, I'm, I'm not trying to do that, but a weiger is the type of guy that sounds like, you know, he's trying to drink less for health purposes, right, but also enjoys the wind down of a cocktail.

I do like that. You really like to, you really like to be in control though is another thing with you. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I think you maybe overstate that a little bit because you think I'm controlling in regards to this podcast. Well, yeah, because you wanted to get done.

Yeah. You can see the forest for the trees and realize that this is a job that's offering you guys some opportunities. Right. And this guy is like fucking, if you want to play a drop, please hang up now. I'm just fixing you like Homer in the Moo Moo episode. Can't get to drop the play. I do some styling wand.

That's what it was all Mitch. Do you think you'll ever get down to three hundred like Homer? Dude, that is currently what Mitch and I are doing. You do not know this. You know about this. You guys are trying to get under, right? We're trying to get under three hundred. We kind of made a proclamation in the beginning of the year on high and mighty

that we would be under three hundred by April. I know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to push it back since January. Right. And we did. We did.

We did the Tournament of Chompians. That's that's tough. I mean, we're just eating so much pizza in there. You have to lose weight. Oh, yeah. I know. I listen to, of course, every episode that's on the free feed as someone with a Patreon.

That's even a tick. I should just support you guys. The I listen to every episode and I felt during munch madness. I'm like, doesn't sound like Mitch is like getting to the gym at all. And I meant to like, it sounds like your time has been so filled because I mean, we know what time filled me. Like having to go pick up pizza at hot and ready is like a fucking day and a half.

Just like to prep myself to the shit you were bragging about of like, I actually picked something up for the podcast. I host out of my living room. Here's what I have to say today. I didn't. I woke up, which to you guys will be kind of late, but I woke up at nine. No, that's not that's fine. That's reasonable for not having a thing.

To do. Yeah, that's fine. This is all I want to say is that today I went to the gym and went to I want. I want to my trainer. A high five is being exchanged between Mitch and Gabriel, which I need, which I I I I went to my trainer and I have not. I have not been. You're right in a way that I haven't been great lately with with workout stuff,

but I'm back on it. I went to my trainer and I went to an audition and that took up everything till now, which is the which is now. That's a now. I can suck it. It's it can be bad all day. It was my it was my it was my whole day till like literally why are you saw me walking in at four?

I went to the you went to the gym and you had a job interview is the way to think about. I mean, that is that is like a substantial chunk of that would be someone's day. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. That's but we got to do it. Mitch.

Yeah, you got to get below 300. We're going to get. I think I think I'm going to do it. We're going to. I think I'm going to do it too. I said July by accident the last in the last no. And someone was like, didn't you say June last month and I meant like we would record it in June and put it up in July, but July is the six month mark.

All right. Yeah, I can get. I can get. Well, here's the thing. I don't know my weight. Oh yeah. So that Mitch could be 303 or I could be like 383 or you could be 335. You can't be 383.

You don't know. It could be 335. I could be 335. You could be 305. It's hard to tell. You know, it's like how many gallons are in that pool? Like you if you have a one gallon of water and two gallons of water, it's easy to tell the difference.

And when you have 499 gallons and 500 gallons, I don't know which one's which. So you could be 305. You could be 335. Yeah. I know I was 323 when we had that conversation. Yeah. And which is pretty high. You don't look much skinnier than me or much bigger.

So you probably are close. I'm probably close. But my my my trainer, because I never wanted to see that I went above 300. So I went on the scale backwards and my trainer is the only person who knows. Oh wow. The exact number. So he but he does. He is like tracking it in his head.

He's going to let you know. He told me that he'll let me know when I get. He said like once I get to a way. He had him talk to Jason and say like Jason should and one of the things we were joking about was come July, do you do you have to weigh yourself no matter what? And then if you're over 300, you're making that announcement on high and mighty man. That is that's a good motivator to to be. The other joke we said was we should have to take bathing suit photos.

And I was like, I'll do that. But I can't imagine you would and you're like, you're right. I kind of don't want to do it. But I would do it. I guess I do. There's a bunch of people who are into bears just holding limp dicks right now. God damn it. I my DMs and they're out there.

I did a scene in the new that new movie on Netflix called game over man when I get my ass eaten. Yes, I saw and I have had like 40 DMs from men with the of some version of the word cub in their in their Instagram handle. You and I was naked on birthday boys and I and I had a nice. It was very flat. It's very flattering. I fucking love it man.

It was almost want to fuck a guy just to reap some benefits. I feel I feel like a big thing of it. Another guy. I feel like a big. I feel like a big thing for me, which I think you. I don't know how you how you will probably make fun of me for this. Yeah, but I was like it was so nice to when that when that episode came out in the in the guy who liked bears.

There's a guy who like bears who follow me and then it was posted to a website and I was like, oh, this is nice to be desired in a way. Yeah, it's flattering. I'm never as if you're if you're need that for your ego. Some people can live without that from anyone. Yeah, it's I crave it from audiences. I've always it was always I always the thing. I mean, yes, I guess that is kind of like to get field design, but also to know

that your I kind of I was on a bear podcast today is my to want to talk about having a weird day. I've just did a podcast and then came a pitch and then came here and did a podcast. That's like a day of work is getting high and talking to friends twice. Well, you did a bear podcast. Yeah. There's a podcast called unbearable and it was just about and I was the first

straight guy to be on really. Yeah. And it was fun, but I was talking about how I think we should appreciate the gay bears even more. I'm a little stoned because now I'm getting angry with myself for not keeping track. I'm not not following a storyline because now I'm like 10 steps away. Normally, yeah, it's pretty coherent.

Yeah. But gay bears, bear chasers, men who are into big, stocky, bearded, thick men have sort of opened the gates for women to come forward about if they're bear chasers. Right. And I feel like even like and one of the guys was saying like even like girls in relationships with big guys would be like he's funny and I love him, you know, but now it's like comfortable to be like he's hot.

Look at the he's a fucking big belly fucking hairy handsome dude. I think that's like because of gay dudes. They kind of open the floodgates for everyone to appreciate our tight. I mean, because they have. Yeah. We haven't. Fat guys have been getting fucked for years, millennia. You know, I'm not.

So that's also something to keep in mind. Another thing to keep you emotionally down and depressed is that come on. Fat guys are getting fucked forever. It's not that you're fat. That's not why you're not getting laid. You should now because I'm fat and I'm fucking. I mean, you're manly right, but I'm still fucking it counts on the fifteenth every month.

You know, push you on the eighth. Again, I just keep reminding. I've met Emma today. I gotta say this is quite a discussion. I mean, if you get you guys, it's nice to hear you guys like it. I appreciate that attention. It's nice to hear that this is sort of like it is. I mean, like when you, when you, especially when you're when I'm 20 or 21

years old and you're a chubby guy, you're like, oh, I would love attention sure from and then so when you get attention, it's not. It's a nice thing. Yeah, it's a great thing. Yeah. No one's put me on wiki feet despite having some of me despite wearing high heels to every red car. Wyger in high heels would be unshattered.

It'd be like an ATS T Walker. Super. I could pull it off. Trust me. All right, so I'm definitely like buzzed. I'm I, but I feel like I should refer the for this exercise. I should reach the threshold of high AF. So I'm wondering if we should we spark up some more?

Is that what we should be doing? You want to get high AF or sometimes as me, my brother says a joke. STB stone to the bone. Oh, hell yeah. Because it's ironic. We make fun of like the way you actually talk about weed. Right. House donors like joke.

But again, where's the at what level is the irony on really? Because my friends are like who wants to get stoned to the bone and we're all like me. You know, it's corn that we're saying, but we're into it. Right. Clear. Well, and while you're doing that, you're getting that next next do ready for us to new chibu cheese.

It is. There is there is some real level to it. So we've got some. We've got every girl scout cookie. And this is what we're talking about earlier. Holy shit. Mitch. Yeah, you've opened one of these.

One of the boxes has been opened. But I figure that, you know, since the since weed famously gives you the munchies will will will keep having some of this gamers. I want gamers to guess. Can you guess which girl scout cookie box I open? That's a good that's a nice little because I opened a few of these. Perfect.

Which one did you open? Which one do you think I opened first? Are we going to officially rank these at some point in this? Yeah, I think I'm guessing you did tag alongs. Gabriel's you were a hundred percent right. Yeah. Those are really good. There's just that the one the best or there.

I mean, I think it's like there's two that are the best and one of them is the go to is the central case. If I could steal a phrase from our president, the central casting girl scout cookie is one of them. We'll get we'll get into it now. Why am I being so professional? We'll get into it. Like I don't even give it.

Like I give a fuck about the pretense of the show. I think if I'm not, if I'm listening to feel like, wait, how many college basketball scholarships? I don't give a fuck. But now as a guest, all of a sudden I care about the rules. I think I have a guest. I bet you I know which one. I have two guesses and I bet you it's one of the two.

That's all I'm going to say. Okay. Yeah. Should I say the two that I think it is? Don't answer. Wait, what should we talk about here, Nick? I think we should start tasting these bad boys. I'm going to guess the two and don't tell me what one it is.

Well, you can tell me when we get to it. Yeah. By the way, my speech was slurring not because I inhibited, but because I was confident a little bit still. Yeah, everyone thought they got you there. Oh, Savannah smiles. I don't. I've never had.

I don't even know. Yes. We have some. We have some that are a little newer to the girl scout lineup of cookies, including the girl scout s'mores, which I also have not had. Oh, I'm starting to see there's three that are completely new to me. Yeah. They are the s'mores, the Savannah smiles and the GF toffee tastics.

This is exciting because I thought I, and I was being pretty bold before when I was talking, I was saying, like, I know which two were everyone, but there are three new things to me here. So I'm very excited. Are we missing some of the old, there used to be. Which one do you want? Did you eat? Did you eat any of the rest of them?

I mean, because this is, I think this was all of them. No, no, no, I didn't eat a box of girl scout cookies by myself. Hey, Lenny's older, dumber brother from my cement. That roast was brought to you by John Gabriel. If you want a roast, Spoon Man, hit us up at Gmail. So I've had a trip foil, which is the traditional shortbread cookie. Oh yes. It's a good shortbread cookie.

It's a classic. It's a good execution of it. Gamers, what do you want? Tell me what to pass. Just start handing me the cookies. Hurry. When I, when I, when the ones that you, you were saying, uh, the, the, the two, my two. Why are we being vague?

My two guesses are thin mints and s'mores or it's one of those two. Well, I think, I think tag alongs was he put in the top two. Yes. He's his other one. Oh, I thought, I thought when he said, what he said, produce typical one in three. Right. Okay.

When he said prototype or like the kind of the, the, the, uh, the prototypical is in the world where you use whatever iconic girl scouts, whatever there's a central casting. Yes. I, to me, that made me think thin mints. That is what I was referring to. Okay. When I think girl scout cookie, first thing in my, you know, uh,

uh, Rorschach test, it's, uh, thin mints. Right. I mean, it might be kind of an association too. Cause like, you know, their uniforms are green. They got the, uh, this green box. Mitch has the tag alongs already opened. Tag along. There's, there's three missing teeth in there.

By the way. Okay. Will you hand me the, the, just start handing me some boxes. Thank you. I mentioned this before, but, uh, the tag alongs, I used to think were the Tagalogs and because they have, they also have the other cookies that are the Samoas. And I thought they just had kind of like this Pacific Island theme with girl

scout cookies. And I didn't really understand it, but I was like, okay, I literally had this conversation on high and mighty. Oh wow. We called them Samoas and we were like, no way. That's what it is. I think it's Samoas and we switched it to the Indian dumpling. And we said, no, it's Samoas.

And then the other one, and then we said the same thing. I thought it said Tagalog, right? Uh, but actually the reverse happened for me every time I saw the word Tagalog, I thought it was tag along. Like I thought then I thought that's what this was referencing. Right. I got everything confused. I don't like that.

Can you hand me a toffee tastic, a toffee? Which one is that? The, the, the, the thin blue line over here. And then actually give me, give me the tree. What are they? Trefoils. Trefoils. Trefoils.

Trefoils. I don't know where the emphasis goes. This would be the one if you had to like, if you had to make the buzz feed answer for which Girl Scout cookie are you. That's what I think Weiger is. Of the ones I've tried, right? Is Weiger the trefoil? 100%.

Yeah. I'll take it. One time. Quick. There's a little picture of Weiger on the. Quick story. One time I ate thin mints instead of brushing my teeth and thought like, in my head imagined it counted.

I was like, instead of brushing my teeth, I'm just going to eat a couple of thin mints and go to bed. And this was like a year and a half ago. Why cut you off Weiger? What were you saying? Oh man. I don't know what I was saying, but, but, but, but, but, uh, to talk cookies, we were having s'mores were being circulated.

I've had the s'more. I'm now having the second one of these sandwich sort of cookies, the dosy dough, which is the peanut butter version. I'll say the s'more is pretty good. The dosy dough is like a s'more. Maybe it doesn't necessarily evoke s'more to me. It isn't like I'm biting and I'm like, oh, this tastes like a s'more, but it tastes like a good like chocolate cookie with a little gram

cutter base. The dosy dough is, I feel like good, but maybe just like a worse nutter butter. It's not quite. That's exactly what it is. It's like nothing. It's not that exciting. It needs a little more cream.

It's one that's very low in my rotation of Girl Scout cookies. Right. It's almost never there. That and trefoils are almost. I don't like one of the new ones. I'll tell you about it later. Well, okay. Especially when...

Solid teas from the Spoon Man. I think it's the one you might have been just taking a bite out of. I know. That is great. All right. All right. You're saying what Mitch is saying is an instant reaction to his current actions?

No way. Mitch, good gorilla. I'm not cocoa or... Wait, what's the... What is... The one from Congo? Amy. No, Amy.

We're all talking about... Obviously the Congo gorilla is the reference we're all talking about. How do you know that? Amy, so Amy drinks a martini in that movie on the plane. But then if you look in the credits, the magician Ricky J is credited as a consultant on the martini drinking stunt, which is so weird because you look at it and it's just like

they're just pouring liquid down a prosthetic gorillas or like a guy in a gorilla suit's throat. Like how complicated could that be? Maybe he made it look like it was floating or something. But it does. Like in the movie, it's not like floating. It's like a magic trick. I know what I'm saying.

Maybe that thing. What's it made in? Like, yeah. Can you hand me those gamers? Jesus. I'm literally about to pass a box of cookies to Nick. I wish I could. I don't have those yet.

I also got two that were stuck together. I'm being a tag along right now. When they're stuck together, that's one cookie, man. Hey, I watched movie. I just turned into everybody's friend from home. That's always like your non-comedy friends. The funniest dude is coming. Dude, you can't wait till he comes in.

And he's like, what's up, bros? And he's like, yeah. He's hysterical. He knows every movie by heart. And then you spend some time with him and you're like, oh yeah, this guy is like funny. This guy is like better at comedy than most people. Oh, this guy's instincts haven't been dumbed down

from 10 years of watching comedy. Right. And hating everything you see in comedy to the point where you don't know how to create comedy anymore. Yeah. He's not trying to have some meta take on everything. He just is like real with what he thinks. There are so many people in college who would repeat just lines

from movies and that drives me. That can drive me nuts. What does that orange box there? This is the dosy does. I'll pass that one. I already got them. I just had a tag along, which I guess this is partly also why dosy does don't fare as well as the tag alongs are just

such a clearly better peanut butter cookie. I mean, they're so good. They're the Intercontinental Peanut Butter Champion of Girl Scout. Can you send that yellow box this way? These are the Savannah Smiles. These are the Christian semi lemon and lemon wedge cookies dusted with powdered sugar.

I already have to retry stuff because I forgot what it tastes like. I need the thin mince wager. That's the last. Don't we all miss? That's what I need. You got, you got, you got what I need. The Savannah Smiles, I feel like could use a little more lemon. Yeah.

I don't like that kind of cookie period. I don't like a lemon cookie. I don't like a fruit cookie usually. We neither. Yeah. Oh, wow. I think those are okay. I don't like anything.

I think it's maybe because growing up, like when we would go out to eat, it would be to a diner and then dessert would be like one of those, like the cheapest thing in the diner thing, which was always like rainbow cookies or some like my, cause we're always with my grandpa and he would always get some stupid ass Italian cookie. You know, like the two green leaves. Oh yeah. It's like pure shit.

Yeah. I'm like, this is fucking a dog treat. Why am I eating this when there's fucking Oreos in the world? We like it. Yeah. I'm like, why is anyone eating this? So like it goes good with coffee. I'm like, so does everything.

So does a piece of chocolate cake. Right. Yeah. Which is just as unhealthy, but tastes good. Yeah. That was crazy. Did you have a fucking eye tie? I agree with you.

Some of those confections are like lacking. I agree with you. I hate Italian sweets. They're sort of like sheet Rocky. Right. Right. You want to just like cough? Yeah.

I think I might have got a little contact eye, but not high. But you know what I'm saying. Right. Oh yeah. Your stone is fucked, dude. Your auditions are gone. You're going to lose the iron man. You're never going to finish the swimming under your plan time.

Oh man. I have not, I have all the cookies in front of me. I haven't, I have, I've only tasted two, but here we go. Keep going. I'm having a thin mint classic. Exactly. Like I remember it. Very, very solid cookie.

I mean, just, just really good. It depends on how much you like mint and chocolate to mine. Some people can't stand it. I think it's frozen or unfrozen. That's what I was just about to say. There's, there's that classic hack. I think it only works with the thin mints. No other cookie, no other Girl Scout cooking tastes better frozen.

Thin mints, it works, but I think I prefer it. I think I prefer it frozen. Yeah. I think that's like peak thin mint. I think thin mints at its strongest when it's cold. Yeah. I mean, I do it as far as, as far as my take. I say, do you want to build a snowman?

Jesus. I like it frozen. This is how you are when you're high. We're not allowed to talk about frozen because fuck Josh Gad. Right, Mitch? Taking money out of your pockets. Probably a super nice guy. I just want to say fuck you pal.

And, and Tyler Labine, the two guys who book everything. The guys who will book these auditions. Yeah, exactly. Hey, you know, while you guys are yelling at your rival, hey, fuck you, Anderson Cooper. Very talented journalist. I'm having this, this, this gluten-free one. I don't think is, I'm just not into it.

Which one is that? The toffee tastic. That was the new one I didn't like. That was my bottom. That's my bottom. It's really, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think just some gluten-free cookies pull off the texture.

This one doesn't at all. Well, the problem for me. Very chalky. Is this is going to give gluten-free like a bad rap. Right. Because this is such a ubiquitous snack. Girls got cookies. Some mom hears their daughter is gluten intolerant or whatever gets these ones.

And then it's like, oh, these suck. Yeah, they're pretty bad. But there are good gluten-free cookies. But a lot of them. They hurt my teeth. The toffee hurts my teeth as well. Yeah, I agree. It's not, it's not a good thing to have because like that hard texture mixed in there.

You got about 65% of that cookie in your beard. I know. It like exploded in my face. This is like, this is like fucking sheet rock. I'm sorry. Whatever I call it, sheet rock before the lemon zest. This is legit. Yeah.

This is like hard to eat. I'm done with the toffee. Yeah, that's pretty good. I almost put my heavy cookie back in the box. Better hide this. You know, I love demons, but they're not my number one cookie. Yeah. I love them.

Number three are kind of a floating top three. Sorry, I was away from the mic for a second because I'm chewing so hard. I think you'll be shocked at one of my top threes. Really? I think you're right. Emma, how's that weed treating you? You feeling pretty, pretty high there? Absolutely.

Okay. Absolutely. I can't tell, I can't tell how high I am. Yeah, that's not something that matters. Okay. Yeah. You don't have to drive, right? No, I don't have to drive.

I don't have to leave. I'm leaving my car here overnight. Is that true? Yeah, I'm leaving it on the street at parked out front. Ugh, I don't want it on the block. And I'm sleeping in it tonight. So I'll be sleeping in there. Yeah.

I tried to think of what car would Nick drive as a bit, right? He'd hit ball, yeah. Yeah. That's a fun, like what on-game, character game car would you have? I mean, do you want the honest, the actual answer? Yeah, what do you read? It's a Prius. Yeah.

Okay. So sometimes the joke is the truth. He has everything you need in there if you spend the night. There are handkerchiefs. There's, first of all, there's like lotion. There's not, well, there's, I mean, there's, I've got some sunscreen in there. There's lotion and handkerchiefs. You're suggesting I'm using my car as some sort of mobile jack shack.

I won't have it. This, welcome to the Sin Bin, baby. The stickiest thing on four wheels. Let me just say this. As you call them handkerchiefs, Kleenex tissues are handy to have in the car because you do, maybe you sneeze, maybe you have a coughing fit, maybe there's a spill that can work to, to, to stop up some coffee in a pinch. It's a useful thing to have in your car.

That's what McChicken wrappers are for. So you use them for both a pillow and to blow your nose in while you drive. How are you feeling, Gabriel? So do you say this is like a general, like regular level of high for you? Yeah, this is too high for me to drive. Okay. But, you know, this is how high I like to be. This is how high you like to be.

Sometimes I like to get super high, but like more, more high. Hey, sometimes I like to get really high instead of just getting high. And that's fucking cool. Yeah. Sometimes I want to get super big, but some, this is like good. This is high. I can handle in like a crowd or get a task done high. I feel, yeah.

I mean, I definitely feel like, No, I feel like I could do a task as well. I would just say like, I maybe, and maybe I thought of this, I attached too much gravity to this, but I was like, okay, I might get, be debilitated. I like, I think I'm going to smoke weed. I'm just going to be prepared to be like, basically like like blackout drunk equivalent. And instead I just feel pretty good.

I feel like pretty laid back. And this is, Hey, things are all right. This is kind of my assessment. Oh, that's a great assessment. I'll say weed will change your outlook on chores. Oh, okay. That's for sure. I love to just like when I have to do dishes or like fucking do laundry.

Yeah. Like doing laundry means I have to leave my apartment too. I can go around the back. So it's even more ideal. Right. I might as well just smoke a joint while I'm back here. And then you just with the help of Siri alarm function, you just get your laundry done.

You do the, like, but I have to constantly go like, and I like to cook stone too. Right. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. So then I'll like, Hey Siri in eight minutes, remind me, check the eggs. But I need her constantly cause I'll just end up being like, that's the only drawback is the lack of focus. Oh, sure.

And I'll just be like looking at my, I'll have like 11 porn hub tabs open and then I'll like smell like burned bacon in the whole apartment. I'll be like, Oh my God, I put bacon in an hour ago. Neck deep in conversation. Is this, are they actual mother and daughter you think? Oh, fuck the bacon. Yeah. I mean, I do, I do just like the progress that I feel from doing chores already,

but this seems like an added, added incentive. That's funny to me. Your, your, your, your horniness, your horny levels are up when you're high. Yeah. Yeah. Never like them. I mean, also low tea. Preacher quiet.

Mr. No tea. My doctor recommended. I was going to say something that I think was problematic. So I'm proud of myself right now. Whatever you're imagining is not as bad as what Gabriel would have actually said. Yeah. And that's how comfortable I am is that someone's like, well, I bet he said this. That's nothing.

That's what my tattoos. Getting high never, never did that as much. I mean, getting drunk more. So, but yeah, getting, getting high didn't get me in the mood, I guess you could say. Yeah. No, I think it does a little bit for me. I get a little horny. Oh, interesting.

You should just talking about all the bear fans and how I get horny when I'm high. I'm just thirst trapping this entire episode. Especially if you like hearing a guy smack fucking thin mints around in his giant ass malls. What the fuck am I talking about? Hey, you know, speaking of thin mints, let's, let's get to ranking these bad boys. Yeah, let's talk. So I got, I have my rankings.

Oh, it's, how should we do this? I mean, I guess we can just sort of line them up here. We each say our top three and let the dialogue start from there. That's maybe a good way to go. And then we can talk about our, our hall of shame as well. And that's super self serving because I have three that kind of float around that I are gimmies as to what are the best. Well, lead us off then.

Gabriel, let us know why it's funny when you're high because you lose a little control of the show, but then I'm not helpful at all. Yeah. You're not picking up this. You're not picking up the slack in this slide. I might as well be high with you guys. I'm acting the same way. All right.

I'm going to say my top three. This is super helpful. We've faced all the nutrition facts towards Nick and I. Not only can we not read the, what the cookie is. And also, oh, this is the one I liked. Also, to be fair, I mean, I can barely see what they are as well. Yeah. This is like a stoned project where it's unnecessary.

Here, here, I'll, this is so much better. I'll do a quick, I'll do a quick a recap and for our audience as well. We got the, we got the tag alongs, the s'mores, the samoas, the dositos, which are the peanut butter sandwich cookies, the toffee tastic, which is gluten free. The trefoils, which are the shortbread, the thin mince. And then finally, we've got the savannah smiles, which are these lemon wedges dusted with a confectioner's sugar.

All right. I always thought a savannah smile was a vagina because it's, it's a little smile down south. Right? Right. Anyone else? You're, you're taking down. Why, why with the blue collar comedy to her?

Why is really on board with that? If you told me I could make like decent going for one year doing that, I would gladly go, you know, oh for sure. I would love that shit. I think we might, we would maybe lose you to the, you would be so embraced. I think we wouldn't be losing to it. I joke, but I'm like one year away from being like Johnny Long Island

and touring like touring bars in the tri-state area and doing like fucking carry opening for arty land. Exactly. All right. So what were your top three? Top three. Gavress top three and sort of floating on moods are tag alongs, Samoas and thin mints.

Hmm. Yeah. And I think I might be, you know, I'm sure everyone can tweet at me how wrong I am, but I feel like those are maybe the classic top three or three. And but maybe I'm just being so myopic for the third, for my third place when I almost have to give a tie, cause I think people will be mad if I say that this three before, but number one for me also tag alongs,

which I broke into before any of the recording started. Samoas number two, we're hand holding right now. Three. Now we are physically holding hands. There's, there's soup in between our hands. And it's bisque. It's bisque, baby. No, just give me something to drink.

Those weird claymation rocky commercials. Is that what they were? Yeah. Those were so straight. And Frank Sinatra too. Oh, it's Frank Sinatra. Kulio's in one of them dropping a hip hop beat. Yes.

Oh yeah. Those were fucking weird. Yeah. It seems like the iced tea, iced tea hasn't had a big comeback. I mean, I think everyone now likes kind of playing like just like a black tea. You're saying like the, the tea brands, like the, the Donald ones.

Risking everything. There was, there was that big, the big ice, lemon iced tea craze of the, what, 1990? I mean, Snapple was like Snapple, like dominated Long Island with a dialogue for 20, and it still does. But like Snapple is like, you're just like, oh, this is so good for me.

And then like, it takes you to like 10 years later, you're like, I was drinking fucking mango madness. She was so much sugar. Yeah. Yeah. I think that I think a couple of diet, diet, Snapple, iced teas in my fridge. Peach?

Yes. Peach. Diet. Peach is great. And then also the lemon, the lemonade slash iced tea. The Arnie Palmer. The Arnold Palmer, like only 10 calories and it's,

and it's good. I mean, I'm sure it's not good for you, but whatever. I'm going to take that fucking peach iced tea though. There's only, there's only Arnold Palmer. You can have one. Please do. You should have fucking lied about that. I swear to God.

You lied about having peach iced tea in there. No, no, no. You said, you said there was one in there. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't get them. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that there was one. I like that.

Those are the ones that I kind of like. Okay. Mitch, the fact that you're apologizing is upsetting. That's making me uncomfortable. Well, also I want the podcast world to know that I was intimidated or afraid that you're going to beat the shit out of me. Peach diet iced tea.

Diet. Peach iced tea. What was it? What's your third? I'm sorry. My third is a tie. You know what? It's plain.

Just like wager. But you know what? I like wager. The trefoils. Not that. Really? And the thin mints. Yeah.

It's a tie. I mean, but I like the, honestly, those are the, the, the trefoils. I feel like I'm saying it wrong, but those are, those are, those are, I think they're good. Yeah. They're very classic Girl Scout cookies to me. I feel like I remember eating those as a kid.

Those would go wonderfully with coffee. Yeah. They are, they're good. And here's one. One thing I like about any Italian cookie. Right. Better than any of that rainbow bullshit. The one thing I like about the trefoil, serving size five

cookies, they're not fucking around. Treat yourself. S'mores is two cookies. So yeah, you can, you can binge on these. Oh. I mean, you can't, it's, it's, it's as healthy as any of these. We can have a few more of them.

So my, my rankings, I put one Samoas. Wow. And I like the tag alongs a lot. They're my number two, but the reason I put Samoas over them is because I think Samoas innovate. They have, they offer something that you can't get from other cookies the rest of the year. My one and two could flop easily.

Yeah. That's how I feel. Yeah. So my third place in years past probably would have been the thin mint. It might have been a trefoil. Certainly wouldn't have been a dosy dough. But this year, I'm putting in a third place.

The bronze medal gets the Girl Scout S'mores, which I thought was a good sandwich cookie that, that is unique. And it's a new texture for Girl Scouts. Absolutely. Yes. I thought you wanted to say that you're going to put in third for Girl Scouts themselves. I will say, Weigert, that's what I, this would be my fourth.

Yeah. It's good. This is like a wrap. And I've had a handful at this point. Guys, I got to say to you, I don't like the s'mores. Wow. Yeah. I don't, I definitely, you know why I like them?

I'm just realizing you said Nutter Butter about that. Yes. This reminds me of the shit I just lost it. EL Fudge? No, it's not EL Fudge. It's their sandwich. It's, it'll come to me. Okay.

I'm sorry. Back to it. They're not, they're not terrible. I mean, the only really bad cookie was the, the Toffee Crunch. Yeah. That one's a real lack. What was it called? Toffee?

Is it Toffee Crunch? It's the gluten-free Toffee Tastic. Toffee Tastic. Not good. Bad name too. It really is. I mean, like Trefoil's is a bad name, but it's still better. Well, it's distinct and it sounds like it has some association with this,

you know, with the Girl Scouts. I would say, I would say next is for me is the, the Nutter Butter ones. Right? The Nutter Butter. Dosey Dose? The, yeah. The, the Dosey Dose. And then, then probably the Lemon ones and then the S'mores and then Toffee all the way

down. Yeah. Well, Emma, what do you think? Any, any favorites here? Um, the S'mores have always been my favorite. Right. But on the East Coast now they don't come as S'mores. They come as Caramel Delights.

Whoa. Okay. But I think it's the same cookie. Okay. Wait. Sort of how like Hellman's and Best Foods are the same mayonnaise? I think there was like something about the name S'mores was like culturally insensitive or something.

Oh, I'm pretty sure it is. Right? Yeah. That's just like, I guess I'm trying to think what would be an equivalent. Like that's like eating a cookie called Chinese. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like it see, it doesn't see, I mean, it's like, it's like plural too. So that's the layer of it. It's like set, but you also, it's not, they're not called S'moans. Yeah. They're not, they're called S'moas. So it's a little. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of like, but it's kind of like a cookie called Puerto Ricans.

It's like, this is like, it's a little weird, but not exactly the same. I don't know. I don't know how. Actually wait. It maybe feels like it seems, it should be offensive, but it isn't. Is it technically, would it be called Puerto Rico's? That's what, that's what it would be. Yes.

Puerto Rico's. Puerto Rico's. So which kind of makes it less offensive then. It's definitely less offensive than Puerto Ricans. Right. Because then you're not saying the person is the cookie, but now you're saying like this is the country. Part of it is you're trying to figure it out.

Maybe that's, maybe that's like it. Is there an, I mean, I don't know if it is or not. It doesn't seem that offensive to me. I mean, I don't know who knows. Maybe it is. And I'm going. Why am I going out on a limb here? Who knows?

It could be, it could be really bad. The three of us should be the arbiter of this. I always find myself saying, I'm like, that's not a way. Hold on. Yeah. I should never be the judge of what's offensive. I've been wrong every time. Yaku is not offensive as we know my mask.

Oh boy. My school's mascot. Right. And neither is this. The Samoas. Who knows? Someone knows the mystery to that. They'll tweet it at us.

I'm just in my head realizing what it would be like to be someone who's a guest on the dough boys for the first time. And I'm just like, this is an insane thing. You sit facing a wall at a glass table and Mitch goes. Ooh. Yaku's might be offensive. If you don't know what the fuck, this is insane. This is insane.

And now I can like, I'm making sure what was going through Hubel's mind or something like that. I mean, I'm pretty sure I could tell what was going through his mind by the amount of times he checked his watch. So he's like, how long are these usually? Two hours? Okay. Really?

Two hours of someone's time. Okay. Hey, if you out there know what Girl Scout, what the origin of Samoas is, hashtag Samoas etymology. Give us a little feedback on where that came from because they think we're all curious about it. But you're so much more fun while you're high. Well, that was more fun.

I'm joking. Oh, okay. I see. It's not hard for Nick to be more fun. Hey, if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, e-mail us at Doughboyspodcast at gmail.com, or leave us a voicemail at 830 Go Dough. That's 830-463-6844. And to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, join the Golden Play Club

at patreon.com slash Doughboys. Are you calm? You're calm. I think it's about time. Vienna Fingers. Vienna Fingers. That's what it was. That's what I wanted to say before.

That's what the s'mores are reminding me of. And I think that's why I'm enjoying it. Right. It's not like they don't have chocolate inside of them, but it is a similar flavor profile. I think the cracker part, the lucky part, has got that little kind of grambness to it. John Gabrus, thank you so much for joining us. It's time for Weigar to go driving to the LA River. I hope this, I don't know if I, I feel like people are going to be like, oh, Weigar's

getting high. It's going to be something. And then I don't, I don't feel like I'm noticeably tripping balls, man. Like I feel like. Now imagine you can finally do an improv scene about getting high. Every improv scene is always like, whoa. And I'm like, don't you guys smoke weed? It's like, it's an insane, like anytime there's pot in a scene, everyone's like, whoa.

And it's like, but when you do a bar scene, it's not like everyone's immediately like. Right. Some, some, some people do that. Some performers. Everyone's a fucking, those musical theater kids that come do it. It's for us street goods. Gabor's. Thank you for joining us.

High and mighty is your podcast on the network. Yes. That's where we're bros now. And, and action boys as well. Patreon.com slash action boys. Oh yeah. Please check both those out. Anything else you'd like to plug?

Um, no, that's about, uh, that's about it. I got a small scene in Game Over, man. So if you're a bear chaser, you know, and there was a prosthetic gas prosthetic gas and uh, UTK kept like Instagramming on his Instagram story that it was a fake ass. Like he's probably getting stuff of like, Hey, are you eating butts? And so he's like, it's a prosthetic gas. So I'm like putting it out there too. Just, just so not everyone, I want everyone to, you know, jack off according.

I'll tell you what else you see. I texted you about it immediately as old Adams. Yeah. Devine's got his hog out in the movie. Devine's got his. Devine's got quite a guy on him there. Yeah. There's a reason why I think he wrote a movie where he pulls his fonts out.

He's got a hammer. It's the thing is gigantic. Uh, yeah. It's a crazy thing that happens at 46 minutes and 22 seconds into the film. I'll do it for this episode. I'm trying to queue up the still. Uh, I, I, I gotta plug some. Oh, you get something to buy.

Go for it, Mitch. Check out. It's on, it's on Amazon. Little big awesome. I did. I did a voice on it. Oh, red's an animated show. Yeah.

Just our friend. Just McKenna is also on that show. And Ben, Ben Gruber. Oh, that Ben's an old friend of mine. Oh yeah. He's a good dude. Yeah. He was a producer on this.

He was a writer and a producer on the show. The substitute that I hosted on MTV. He's, I like that dude. He's a great guy. Yeah. He's going to come on the show at some point. Yeah. Everyone.

Talk about candy. It's kind of sorry, Gruber. That's a terrible impression. But you do kind of sound like that. I'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. And I'll next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating, buddy.

Oh my God. See ya. Versus. Hey guys, you want more Doe Boys? To get the Doe Boys double or weekly bonus episode, join the Golden Plate Club. Sign up at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Do it.

That was a hate gun podcast.