Doughboys - The Evan Susser Summer Ice Cream Invitational Finals with Evan Susser

Episode Date: August 16, 2018

Screenwriter and former Tournament of Chompions commissioner Evan Susser (Fist Fight, Sonic the Hedgehog) returns to the show for the exciting conclusion of the Evan Susser Summer Ice Cream Invitational! Who will emerge victorious in the pint division, as Häagen-Dazs, Ben & Jerry's, and Halo Top compete for a chance to go head to head with Baskin Robbins? Plus, the debut of a new segment, Eating Up...State?Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Previously on Doe Boys Double. So we split it into a parlor division versus a pint division. Right. And let the record show that Nick was a big, whiny baby. There was a lot of fighting about this. Mitch, you were being very fussy here. Yeah, you were not happy.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. This is a clear, clear win. Baskin Robbins, just a dominating performance here. And Baskin Robbins will move on to the finals. If not checked, many of our current practices put at serious risk the future that we wish for human society and the plant and animal kingdoms, and may so alter the living world, that it will be unable to sustain life in the manner that we know.

These words were written by a group of 70 Nunder scientists back in 1992. In the quarter century since, this grim warning about the consequences of global climate change has gone largely unheeded, as governments either advance tepid half-measures or deny factual reality to please corporate polluters. 2018 is the fourth hottest year in history. The only hotter years? 2015, 2016, and 2017. Sea levels are rising at their fastest level in 2,000 years. Arctic sea ice coverage has declined by 15% since 1980,

and the ocean's acidity has increased by 26%. The realist may accept that humanity is simply ill-equipped to fight an existential threat that demands international cooperation on a never-before-seen scale, and that crossing the point of no return may very well be inevitable. The nightmarish consequences are out of apocalyptic cinema, flooding tripled by 2030, a global climate refugee crisis, and increasingly hot summers, as the Earth warms by up to 6 degrees this century. And with such scorching hot summers becoming the norm,

what better way to cool off than with that frosty, sweet treat we all know and love? Ice cream. Available at dedicated parlors in the cool case at your local supermarkets, these dairy delights provide at least some temporary relief from the coming heat death of civilization. Today, we decide the best ice cream in America in two rounds of competition. First, the three biggest store-bought ice cream pints square off. The esteemed cream with a gibberish foreign word name, Haagen-Dazs. The Vermont Creative Mixin' Outlet founded by the hippie duo of Ben and Jerry.

And upstart low-calorie, low-guilt indulgence Halo Top. Then, the victor will compete for the unified title against the chain that won our parlor division, Baskin Robbins. This week on Doe Boys, cool off from climate change with the conclusion of the Evan Susser Summer Ice Cream Invitational. Doe Boys! Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger.

Alongside my co-host, Eaton Hunt, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Eaton, that's the coolest one yet. Well, that was courtesy of Julia Pulkowski. If you have an insult you'd like me to use on Mitch to the top of the show, roastspoonman at gmail.com. There's now two flies in here? What the hell? I don't know. I don't... I mean, clean your place, I guess. Keep your door shut. Keep your window shut. I was airing it out today. There was a hot summer day.

But now there's two flies. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. They multiplied when I went to the bathroom. I came out and there was two flies. They saw what you were up to. I thought you were going to say one came out of my pants or something. Eaton Hunt, I feel like Tom Cruise would hear that and go, We think that was a lot of fun. I think that was great. He'd clap his hands together.

Boy, maybe jump up on a couch and start dancing on it. No, he was just jumping on the couch. He's just jumping on it. It wasn't even that crazy. It wasn't even that crazy. It wasn't. Our friend Ryan Perez, he had a Tom Cruise tweet, went viral. Yes. Here's the crazy part about this. Perez loves Cruise.

And then people were making fun of him. I mean, it was a very funny tweet. You want to explain what it was? You know what? You know what? You know the rules of Doe Boys. You talk when we introduce you a piece of shit. I have special privileges. You know the rules of Doe Boys. We talk obliquely about things that will have happened three and a half weeks ago,

as of the episode's release. You describe the treat, but also first how to spoon nation. Mitchy one spoon. It's the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Right. I'm Mitchy Two Spoons now. Nick Wiger is Nick. Mitchy Two Spoons Wiger. I'm Mike the Spoon Man Mitchell.

On a recent Doe Boys double episode, I took Mitch's nickname from him. So that's a Burger Boy is gone. Nick Mitchy Two Spoons Wiger is alive and well. Insane. Why not Nicky Two Spoons? Emma raises a good question. Nicky Two Spoons works way better. I'll go to the commissioner.

Mitch play the drop. Here's a little drop for you. Here we go. I gotta say, I was annoyed at that drop at first and then I did beg me laugh. Yeah. I found a content aside. I found it just like kind of like unpleasant to listen to. You just like the sounds I felt like that sort of a... That's your voice, my man.

That's not what I sound like. I have a human voice. For one of the two kings of drops, that was a shampoodler drop. Here's what you got to do, Mitch. You got to give out with the drop address because otherwise the only people who know the drop address which you gave out like once in 2015 are the only people who are going to send them in. Wrong, Nick. It's that people... If you have a drop, send it to SpoonManDrops at gmail.com. Great.

You happy? Yeah, I'm happy. I did it your fucking way. Post that on social media periodically as a reminder for people out there. Don't tell Usong what to do. Usong's giving me a thumbs up. He likes me. Yeah, sure.

Usong's one of my closest friends. Not that much of a joke. Closer to reality than you'd think. Mitch, I want to talk a little bit about... Mission Impossible Fallout. We discussed it in a little bit of spoiler-free depth on a recent Patreon episode, but also... I did my great Sean Harris impression. It's a fantastic Sean Harris impression.

It's a Golden Play Club exclusive. So it's legitimately good. Jesus. It is. It's good. I was impressed by it. We got some MIA Fallout swag, courtesy of Adam and your friends at Paramount. They sent over some Fallout swag that included a... We each got hoodies, we got t-shirts, and we got hats.

A lot of fun. My shirt... They guessed it our sizes. I got an L for my shirt and hoodie. Uh-huh. And they gave you an XL for yours. Your point is that it's not going to fit. No, I'm not making that point at all.

I'm just saying they didn't take a stab at the sizes. That hoodie's got its own Mission Impossible. This is a joke Susser made before... Now I'm not one to... I also make jokes before and reuse them. Hey look, my screen is on the Alexa. Well there it is. So for people who maybe aren't sure what's going on,

Mitch has an Alexa with a screen on it on the table where we record and sometimes things that we say just pop up on that screen. What are you going to say? The back of that hoodie is going to fall out. All right, all right. Anything else, Suss? The hat also has a Mission Impossible. Trying to fit over that pumpkin of a head of yours.

You know what? Just like Tom Cruise riding in the helicopter every day. I think that... The hoodie's going to self destruct as soon as you put it on. I think that I'm going to take a page out of Cruise's book. I'm going to fit in that hoodie soon, Nick. Oh, you'll get there. You've actually slimmed down quite a bit. You've been hitting the gym with consistency.

Hey, this isn't condescending at all. I'm not being condescending. You're making a lot of progress. It's very noticeable. People comment on social media. They say, like, looking good, Mitch. I'm going to swole, baby. I'm going to have to change my nickname again when I become Buff, the Buff Spoon Man.

I think you could punch up Buff Spoon Man. It's kind of a first pitch. Polished Spoon. How's that? Okay. You know what? I don't think anyone will like me if I start gloating that I'm Buff. So I'm going to start doing it now when I'm not. Nick, what's up? You know what's up is that we've got a regular guest here.

He's already chimed in a little bit. He's the commissioner. He hasn't been on for a while. He hasn't been on for a while. He came on the live show. I'm going to out you in some way right now. He came on the live show and he's like, I like that. I like coming into the show an hour. That is good. I like to drop. He's like, I don't want to be the main guest anymore.

I want to be the guy who drops in towards the end of the episode excites everybody. It was. You got a nice pop when you walked into the to our live show. Thank you. Thank you. But here you guess what? You're the main guest in this one. No, no hour in poppin. You got to sustain a full episode, my friend. No one's going to come in at the 60 minute mark and jack up everyone's energy level. He's the commissioner. The double is turn right of chomps and a screenwriter

whose credits include fist fight in the upcoming movie Sonic the Hedgehog. Evan Susser is judging by his reactions now already tired after the first double that we've it's late. I'm tired guys. It's great to be here. I'm happy to be here on a main episode. I feel like I've been on a few doubles, but I have. I have been away a little while. We want to say this. You've been away for a while. There's a good reason for it. You want us to say it. You want to say it. I'll say it is I'm a father.

I had a baby. Yeah. So this will have been chronologically we'll have already given this bit of information on the previous live episode. Some people don't listen to the live episodes because they're meandery. Right. But yes. Unlike our regular episodes, which are focused. But yes, everyone has been listening at home and they've been saying where's the commissioner? Where's Susser? We miss Susser. We've gotten a lot of that. Too much Gabriel. We want more Susser.

Gabriel is loud and kind of funny, but you get sick of him. Susser provides a solidness. Gabriel is trying to replace Susser. Get him out of there. Susser is not jealous about it. It's just a thing that we're all thinking. That's what everyone at home. That's what everyone at home is thinking. Right. And yet a child and I had a child and that's why I've been away. That's the only reason I'd be away and I actually I think this is okay to say so I had a child basically she arrived earlier than expected

right in the middle of the tournament of champions. It was crazy. That was one of the reasons YouSong stepped in so ably I might add to take over your duties. And I bumped into a past guest of the podcast and fan, Jason Manzuchus. And he came up and this was actually my first time meeting Jason. And he said, oh, I'm a big fan of your work commissioning, which I appreciated and he said, but I gotta ask like why weren't you there at the finals? You know what happened and I had to explain to him that I had a child.

So I thought I thought that you guys would appreciate that I do. You thought that we'd appreciate the story where you got noticed. I thought you'd appreciate that Jason. I do. I do. I do. He's the man. We got to have him back. Thanks for listening. Zooks, but also the part of me you recognize. But susser what take that out. Oh, you don't want her name. Oh fair enough will bleep it. So this could be I think we should call her the dough baby for the dough baby. Okay, the dough baby for the purpose. Hey, that's fair.

I should have asked you. Yeah, yeah. Can I say this yeah that I took the dough baby out to with for her first Jewish deli experience. It's true. Mitch did that. It was very sweet. You didn't do not solo though, right? No, no. It was just the two of us. Why do you fucking psycho Mitch? Mitch came over. He he saw her and he was like I think you were kind of expecting her to like maybe talk or this was like very soon. It was like a month yeah and a half. You you responded like I don't think people usually let me around baby. So it was it was a very early like like in the state like I don't think a lot

of people had had met your child at that point. No, no, well and I will I will if it's okay. So we will we is it was this kind of thing getting Mitch there early how it's like you're kind of supposed to expose your baby to filth for origins. Exactly, right. But yeah, so she was born about a month early. Then there was a little bit of a scare where we're at the hospital a little bit longer than expected. We were thinking about you big time. Yes, I appreciated I think that the listeners would like this so it was kind of you know a scary thing where we're at the hospital everything good there was a

little bit of a health scare so we ended up in the NICU and I you know I think we actually I think we were talking about you know oh like I'll be back and I can probably call in for the tournament of champions. Yeah, and then I had to text you guys and say hey this just to be blunt like this is kind of a scary thing happening right now and I think people would appreciate your reactions which first of all I will say you're very supportive and great friends in this kind of moment but NICU responded say oh my god it's so horrible. Let me know if there's anything you can do. I will not be texting you any more for

respect to your privacy at this time which was which was next we're doing it and Mitch Mitch's was oh my god. That's crazy. What's happening a little bit? Okay, then an hour later. Any updates? I probably set you those for the next month. Yeah, any update like new doctor like have you got anything so it was very but I appreciated both of you guys in your own way being very supportive was very sweet and then from you know the chain restaurants standpoint I thought that do boys listeners would like this so so when you have a baby you kind of expect that you're going to be able to

leave the hospital with the right and because the baby ended up in the NICU unexpectedly by the way can I just what is this at partly because my name's in it what is the NICU okay it's Jesus not NIC University where you study the likes can major in minion ease well it's ICU okay but for newborns newborns oh I got it again okay now I understand sorry yeah neonatal okay got it yeah you only fool who couldn't figure this out my Dave did it you call me the dumb one I just wanted to know what the

so so anyway we were you know first of all it was funny we were at Cedar Sinai the hospital where someone like who a friend of ours who had kids was like oh hey just so you know they've got a great breakfast burrito at the cafeteria and I was like I was like what and then we did have the baby and it's kind of like I don't want to try and I'm like Jamie like do you you're probably hungry from giving birth swing by that cafeteria I think you maybe get a breakfast burrito she's like what like I'm sure someone could bring us like food or something they have food we have snacks and like yeah I kind of feel like stretching my legs

did you get the breakfast I got the breakfast burrito I was like that was pretty good was it really but then you know ended up at the hospital for a long time and I had a breakfast burrito like seven times and a lot of that hospital food and then was it was on this breakfast burrito it was eggs you could pick bacon or sausage and hash brown so not like just a pretty simple was it scrambled eggs or was it scrambled eggs okay that's good it was fine guys my my appendix is acting up I might need to get out of here you could just go to the hospital yeah I guess you seem like the type of guy who would stop by the hospital to get a meal anyway

freak I do I will say because I we live but Natalie and I live in an apartment building right by a big office park and sometimes when I'm not working I'll just like walk into the office park where like people are working and like have lunch there and sort of people get below their desks right but then the last bit of food so so shoot the baby was in the NICU and you know which is scary it is a scary place to be and it's also the best place for you to be and my wife and I you know you can't stay with the baby at that point so for the first few days we just got a hotel by the hospital and then a certain point you're kind of like well

wait how long is this gonna be yeah it's gonna you know that starts to be expensive and so we at one point we're like look it seems like things are stable we should just go home right hard thing yeah to go home we talked about this briefly because my dad was in the intensive care unit and you're like like that night he was in the intensive care unit like they're like you can go to the like you can go home or in my mom and sister like over staying but like before they said that I was like yeah we should probably go home like I mean it's a natural thing right it's not but yeah so to do that is very hard I mean I was

I was like very emotional and then also too there's a thought of like we need to eat we don't have like food it's been right a while yeah so I'm through like tears and we get back home and you know what it was the best and hit the spot and then and just for anyone losing everything ended up being completely okay with the health stuff and it was just a kind of a scary few days and everything like that but I think that Domino's it was already the winner of our tournament of chompy and yes hell yeah yeah but I think that for me then it really will have a special place in my heart forever because we needed it we

picked a good one Nick we picked a good winner yeah you know we're the heroes of this story but you also such a while put you had I'll make you feel a little better I'm crying like that every time the Domino's guy comes but anyway awful of trivial matters on to the business at hand yes for sure yes but also I want to say quickly that we care very much for you and Jamie a great couple and now a great family when we love the dough baby whose name I shouldn't have said the dough baby is is is great and we're happy that everything worked out perfectly we love you thank you I appreciate that guys and like I said you guys were very

you're very supportive during that time and give a very generous gift I appreciate it and the dough the dough baby is very lucky to have such great dough uncles yeah okay bad why you're can't meet her come on Mitch you'll always be the dough baby to me gotta love me um that's a that's amazing thank you for sharing all that with us and what I wanted to talk to you beyond that is our business at hand yes we've got the this is a thing that we are in the spirit of the previous contest that you've overseen the Evan Susser summer ice cream invitational we did part one on Doughboys double this previous Tuesday

however for people who aren't members of the Golden Plate Club who don't subscribe to our patreon can you sort of orient everyone and and let people know what what we're getting into here happily okay so here's a situation I was not able to be as much a part of the tournament of champions this year as I would have liked that's right oh I should say people may remember I did call in at the very end yes that was once we did get home and everything was fine Mitch detects me so you can you call it but I was happy to do that and that was fun but but do you have any of that pizza left that was me then yeah why you kill that fly

would you know why it's a beautiful living creature oh my god okay Jesus so I wanted to be back meddling with the podcast and it's the first time you've been pretty upfront from the beginning yeah so we thought it'd be fun it's a summer what do you think of when you think of summer only one thing ice cream ice cream oh you want us to say it ice cream I'm also glad that you guys accepted my premise that the only thing you think of when you think of right summer is ice cream but good I'm glad it's up there yeah would you say it's up there Nick yeah it's up there I said I remember ice cream I'm racy we're playing

video games I remember thinking oh just six four weeks until school begins a new oh god you're such a loser anyway so that you know Nick still gets a new traffic keeper every year very functional yes so so ice cream we're gonna have a little mini tournament yes parlor versus parlor pint versus pint yes versus pint we'll get to that later and they would all they face off the winner of the parlor division versus the winner of the pint division in the great Evan Susser ice cream summer invitational that's right so this is the this has just been for this week so this is a this is this is the conclusion

this is the this is the finals we're going to sort through all of that but we can recap real quick what happened on our on our on our patreon episode previously on do boys double oh we should we should put one of those in there oh that is previously on no this is me just makes editing work for Emma no she's happy to do it she's shrugging she's like she's like this is great shrugging like fuck she loves it previously on the do boys double great so uh so we'll cut we all have heard that up top and that will give you a little bit of of expo we probably just could have done our own version of it right then oh yeah okay all right we

can be alright previously on the do boy double so Mitch is throwing a fit he's like losing his mind because he we're not getting his ice cream flavor and the winner is baskin robins oh my god I'm the man all right that's good that's good so so baskin robins defeated cold stone creamer which we did not have a good at cold stone experience and our baskin robins I thought was very very solid but let's get into the pints these are the these are the the top store bought brands and yet some people could maybe say here's what we're doing Ben and Jerry's hog and doze halo top and some people could maybe say like hey where's dryers

where's briars where's eddies and our thought press was what you should have a third one that rhymed dryers briars and eddies what's up there isn't a third one that Ryan is cool there was yeah here was my theory and yes that would have been cool and chime in if you disagree yes no one is going to be saying where's dryers dryers I agree with you like maybe people maybe get this a lot get dryers or briars maybe with maybe that's even their go-to ice cream nobody cares about nobody cares about my wider thing this isn't no but I want I just wanted to address it and also to if anyone there's eddies that's what that's what they

call dryers like east of the the missus sip and bluebell we couldn't get out here bluebell is available and that people would be passionate about right about but we couldn't get it sorry I wish friendlies was available on Emma she didn't even care she did she barely looked up she's working on editing this previously on it's going to keep her up all night there's there's friendlies and in Brigham's rest in peace uh-huh those are the those were the big Boston ones yeah am I missing any yeah friendlies is almost all gone wow tough rough go for the new England ice

cream chains more like unfriendlies there is one friendlies left what you need to go to Boston this year I would love to go to friendly I'll go to friendlies with you I'm very excited to Boston you gonna go I'll go to fine I'll go to Boston you're afraid that you're gonna get beat up I'm certain that I'm gonna get beat up may or may not be related to your Quincy friends it was a hundred percent relentlessly on social media hey you know friendlies wants to succeed in the 21st century maybe they should go to Facebook friendlies oh my god Facebook friendlies to that okay cuz

your friends on Facebook really did not get it at all Facebook friend yeah Susser didn't get it everyone else listening got it and liked it they thought it was a very good joke so uh so Ben and Jerry's Haagen-Dazs halo top I think we should just get into it let's crack these pints open and start taking some some schools I am gonna take a lactate that you song gave me it's very nice to him after you bullied him relentlessly while you're recording the previous episode deserved it you did not deserve it he's doing a good job so the so should we get into a scoring system

while we're waiting for these pints to come out oh the insane scoring system yes is there a new is there a new category or anything like that or no no it's just the same but everyone maybe hasn't listened because I know I know I was just asking about anything strange but you got to tell him anyway okay these are the categories the categories each of the first three categories has ten possible points okay the last category has possible negative 30 points okay so maximum score of 30 minimum score of negative I dropped my fucking lactate so hold on a second I'm sorry okay I'm could you grab that lactate I mean this

sincerely thank you you don't want while he'd eat it so he can enjoy his saucer of milk here here the fuck up here are the categories flavors mm-hmm first bite joy this is the idea that when you get into ice cream your first to lick or your first bite how much joy does it bring right you know because I think that that's really something that you associate with ice cream absolutely yeah that's a big part of it and flavors I think encapsulates both creativity but also execution of classics which is one thing that we're going to get with one of these and then then not to tip the scales to favor anyone but something that

I read that Ben and Jerry the men say is you can tell how good an ice cream places by how good their hypothetical by how good their vanilla is right so now we're not trying vanilla from any of these oh we are trying one vanilla so I insisted so then we're evaluating based on either vanilla or theoretical vanilla right of the place how good its vanilla would be if we had its vanilla judging on the flavors that we just tasted and then Ben and Jerry's are right by the way vanilla is a flavor they're absolutely correct that it's and then for the fourth category with potentially negative 30 points is

rumbly's right how much does this ice cream make you feel like you're going to be sick yes later tonight or tomorrow lactate is strange tasting yeah you're really making a face you're really scrunching up while you're eating and it doesn't taste that bad ones like it's taste like cookie man right yeah one new category whoa for only two points point design does that oh that's a good one I liked it I like it good do I take water with this lactate no wait alright so Emma shrugged then you song said no and then he gave me a half and half of this hand you saw Emma told you like 20

times have it with your first I'm got this is the right time you know you didn't have the bite well let's I specified and they said that you don't actually eat it with the ice cream you don't have to put on top of your ice cream why why couldn't you just do it literally right before you're going to do it right away about to do it right now the ice cream isn't been opened yeah it is we did we did all that here's behind the scene here's what happened Mitch panicked because he dropped his lactate on the floor I didn't panic you was eat it and I did eat it this is insane so we've got so we're going to

hog and does first the flavors we've got a hog and does we've got green tea we've got vanilla and we've got coffee I would say Jesus what fucking right no it's good these are good flavors what's the problem they're good they're good you're right they're good what what is it why are you being vanilla and greens here so what one of these is a you song pick right did you song did you pick one of these yeah I picked the green tea and then we got the coffee because yeah there was no and I told I told him to get the coffee and said from one of the options the green tea was a you sang you sang you you saw you fit some

strange this is a good flavor you're a big green tea ice cream guy Emma seems to be on the same page I like a green tea ice cream so far every you song choice has been my least favorite I wonder if the trend will continue I hope so to get the the listeners who don't get the double up to speed some of the story lines we've been tracking right during the susser invitational has been Mitch being pissed off at you songs flavor choice yeah that's right so that's what it's happened again so it's happened again that's one angle that's been working so if you guys would stop being such cheap pieces

of shit and got the double then you would have known wait a minute guys you don't do the hard sell enough for the double that's what I think you go on page I can't wait to see the numbers go down yeah this episode it's a lousy five bucks for one podcast it is a lousy way to spend five bucks stop you fool stop all right let's get let's get into these pints I'm going to take the vanilla first please Emma would you hand me the vanilla thank you great these so we possible to eat with plastic spoons I have we don't really need the

ball of the balls what is your objection to using the metal spoons we can use them I don't care you just don't want to wash them again how are we doing this you Mitch how are we doing this we're gonna bite into the way I know we had around the pipes we don't need the balls we don't need the balls okay great Emma Emma can you hand those some of those those middle spoons over this way we're going metal because I think if you're I think if you're going plastic trying to dig directly into a pint it's going to be a little bit of a disaster buckle I'm taking a bite of vanilla ice cream right now

right I'm taking a bite of green tea I'm going coffee I just want to say this to you Wager that you're if you bought this to eat just a plain vanilla ice cream you're a madman why because it's it's good but it's it's so plain it's not plain vanilla is a flavor the vanilla bean is an exotic delicacy you thung I've tasted the green tea you dumb piece of shit send it this way don't you have the have you bullying our producer

I'm gonna take a little bite of this the green tea the the coffee I thought was delightful I mean the the Hagen-Daz coffee is one of my favorites I think actually the I'm tasting the coffee I think the Jamoka at Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors which is one of my lovely wife Natalie's favorites is a very very good execution of the coffee ice cream however the Hagen-Daz is right up there I'm having the green tea right now the Hagen-Daz coffee rules it's great it's really good Hagen-Daz coffee is very good my father famously does not like coffee but he likes coffee

ice cream I've encountered that that was like me as a boy you song I like the green tea ice cream I think it's a delight I think it's great I like the flavor of it I like that it's not it's not a cloyingly sweet some of these on the also on the on the front of the green tea ice cream there's a hot cup of green tea yeah that's fine who reminds people what I have just what you want right when you're a bigging it digging into an ice cream what's on front of that what's the the the the coffee on the of the Hagen-Daz almost tastes like a mocha it's yeah it's very it's very rich and very sweet I like that

quite a bit I need the vanilla sent this way too unless yeah I have this one all right Susser's having some vanilla right now Mitch is having the green tea I think wait did you have the green tea previously this is your first bite this is my first you're gonna be displeased if Susser's displeased you're definitely gonna dislike it what is that what the fuck does that mean I'm just saying you're already predisposed to dislike you songs pick and now you have it in your head that someone whose opinion you respect disliked it as well I'm having the vanilla right now you song

they are up at Cornell University they've they must give fucking diplomas to a bunch of fucking dipshoots because this flavor again is my least favorite of the three you fucking idiot I think it's good you song you did a good job buddy don't let bitch get you down Susser said the same thing we're both in the same boat we're both guys who get bullied by Mitch it's all right

you just have to fight back it's good it's I kind of like imagined it like somehow like getting it like in a little like one pack like it could be like really refreshing but it's not quite like rich enough that like I agree with you the vanilla is a flavor yes but I do also agree with Mitch that if you just had this on your own it might be a little disappointing I think this would be a good one where you're sometimes get that vanilla and you can sort of see the beans in there I'd like to see a little beans in this one really really like like lay on the vanilla flavor a little bit more Mitch was right in his original assessment

which I had a negative reaction to but this is a little like this is a little plainer than it should be it's a little bit more like a baseline neutral ice cream versus a strong vanilla which I would like to get from Haagen-Dazs but overall the great smoothness to all three of these the texture is very very good yes I will say that all right let's get into our next round of pints so coming up next we'll go to Ben and Jerry's now Ben and Jerry's is you know the we know these two these two Vermont hippie men who have created this empire a lot of them

have you know some sort of brand tie-in and that includes one of the ones that we've got in front of us so Susser talk us through our flavors we've got Cherry Garcia a classic right allusion to Jerry Garcia from the Grateful Dead we've got I don't like the music but I like the atmosphere at the concerts buddy I can get my to go wait this character doesn't like the no it's too loud I hang in the parking lot and get the green green

oh god no one would share with you also why go we're going to Dave Matthews concert oh wait when is that again September 18th hey I check my calendar if I can make it you're going to the Dave Matthews concert is a double it's content okay I can't wait till someone hands you a joint at the concert you flip out find a cop sir it's legal now we've got the salted caramel core very skeptical of the core

and then we've got the Ben and Jerry's everything but the this is chocolate vanilla ice cream mixed peanut butter cups fudge covered toffee pieces and you know what I think I told you song together cherry Garcia I also told him get one of the ones with the core yeah I think the everything but the wow is the use on wow he's giving a big thumbs up talk about tipping the scales he got green tea from hog and us and

everything all the shit all the good I'm surprised I'm surprised that you didn't get a dog shit core ice cream you song that's right even when you do a good job we're going to track you let's get into these here all right so I've got the I've got the salted one for your I give you each a bowl for your spoon I threw mine right on the recording device you don't be nice to have on the tables you know you know we should get Mitch we should I'm sick of this shit we should get like a spool of you know those paper towel spools that you rejected why is that rejected

it's rejected you've got so much shit on your table you've got this is all from the podcast yeah I know I'm sort of saying like let's add one more functional element from the podcast yeah a spool of paper towels because we were there is a spool right in the other room bring it in it's not accessible right now we're gonna bring it in for the fucking show if it was just on the table we'd have it going to get it we wouldn't have you made you song go get it because you're fucking so insane it's a reasonable thing to ask to say that maybe that we Nick look

the spools on the table are you happy there we go with that's all all we need to do is move that spool this upright thing that you have onto the table and have it live there god you're a fucking loser this is functional because we we make a mess on there on your table I wish you were on a spool right now it turned you away from me wait hold on I want to figure out what you're saying here you're saying I was I'm on some sort of thing that you could turn like physically to face in the other direction as a hundred percent like I'm

like I'm being spit roasted yeah basically yes so like it's coming up my ass yeah it is you know what yeah that's like a torture device yeah it is all right I'm gonna take you took a chunk out of that bed and Jerry's well here's the thing with this everything but though they're they're big chunks it's hard to first of all I want to get a taste of everything and it's just kind of wieldy and I will say you some kind of fucked up it's too much it's too much good stuff I actually kind of feel overwhelming it also does not help that this is like I've had so much ice cream at this point

and this is just like a lot of shit and sweet in everything but though I'm having the salted caramel core I took a pic of the core let me tell you this core is much of a disaster as the 2003 science fiction starring Aaron Heckart of the same name yeah I barely remembered it I just knew that there was one that came out and I looked up who was in it the core is just like oh interesting you look it up not so smart anymore huh yeah I don't have IMDB in my head

I don't have all of the every actor from every movie just memorize you know it's coming all from the noggin my man you're never doing any research the core is like it's not coming up from the middle it's like sort of collapsed to one end the actual ice cream by itself is quite plain I just don't like the core as a concept I just think it's kind of it's kind of a mess it's too much work you have to think about it too much I want perfect bites for I don't want to have to work at creating perfect bites I've had another core that was better than this but I think this is

you get a little bit of the core you dip it in the ice cream it's good I don't know I like it unless you get the proportions perfect it's an unpleasant eating experience Jerry Garcia rules it's great it's a classic and they know what they're doing and also I like the idea that it's named after Jerry Garcia I like that too um let's see I like that three so everything but the just to recap chocolate and vanilla creams peanut butter cups fudge covered toffee pieces white chocolatey chunks fudge covered almonds I'm gonna take a bite or two of this thing

there's a lot going on here the core is very sweet so I don't know if you like it I still haven't eaten anything everything but the nick by the way I'm having everything but the right now and then we'll send it over man I love salted caramel as a flavor but the core is maybe too much it's too much it's absolutely excessive am I can you pass this in Mitch's direction I apologize for it's that's messy thankfully we have this spool of paper towels here which she is using immediately because like I said it's functional

alright so I'm digging into the everything but I've had one I had one bite sans peanut butter cup but it had some of the other stuff I'm having one with the peanut butter cup now we'll see how this this uh this uh adds up the peanut butter cup is so frozen it's like a whole peanut butter cup it's kind of cumbersome to eat that said the flavor of this one is quite good I just uh I think there's just maybe too much going on Susser what is your what are your Ben and Jerry's go-tos

like are you someone who regularly gets it I am very glad you asked growing up it was the ice cream spot right by the movie theater a parlor this is also this whole thing is fucked really what we should do is you know Ben and Jerry's parlor we could have done I saw that we should have and then also Baskin Robbins has so the whole thing's a mess I maintain that Ben and Jerry's is more known as a pint brand than a parlor brand

I think at this time in our lives at this time in the world people buy Ben and Jerry's at the supermarket they don't they don't get it uh they don't go out of their way to go to the parlors I think I think we categorized it correctly okay so anyway I used to go though to the parlor one of my friends worked there and would get high in the freezer which hey Ben and Jerry's they're not gonna say anything those hippies

my go-to flavors I would say cherry Garcia and either cookie dough or half baked Ben and Jerry's is where I had cookie dough as a flavor for the first time people forget that that was like a new thing at some point so those would probably be my go-to flavors and I you know will try the other things but I would say that's really kind of also when I think of Ben and Jerry's I think of the movie City Slickers

they have the two characters that are based kind of on Ben and Jerry and that's fun I like that too honestly the legend of Curly's gold I mean I want to but the first movie has a lot more first movie is great it really is great where's the City Slickers reboot hey I sent mail to my agent get me in there

you remind me of those movies in many ways that was an inspiration for you lol and babalu are the two guys who wrote that movie legendary Hollywood screenwriting duo cherry Garcia is great that is a great great flavor I love it what really not a big cherry guy

I like the singular cherry on a Sunday wait so in what context do you like cherry pie cherry pie I like my wife and I just had a cupcake that had one of those maraschino cherries and we like split the cupcake in half and it was like half the maraschino cherry and she had her avenge like did you want your half the maraschino cherry I'm like yeah of course it's good that now that you're a husband

it's good for your child when your child gets a little older can I have the cherry which mine is mine and yours is yours I do remember when cherry Garcia as a thing lit some you song if you don't mind let's get us prepped for these halo tops so we'll have those up next I do remember cherry Garcia was one of the flavors that kids told me about in school as something that was weird like it was like our parents got this ice cream it's called cherry Garcia and they like described everything that was in it and it was like oh it's weird

and then also like funky monkey was another one which was the these I think it's banana ice cream with chocolate chunks they're both good but they are like there was a time when flavors that weren't just like wholly conventional were sneered at and the way that Mitch sneered at the green tea ice cream it was good it's a totally valid kind of ice cream to get I'm convinced you song made it himself and put the label on alright so halo top I have not had but this is the current phenomenon

yeah I love ice cream but I'm also like this low calorie ice cream I'd rather just go all the way it looks like shit that does look like shit this is just opened Emma just opened the which flavor is this is the pecan something in waffles pancakes and waffles that's little redundant this is this is already biased against this okay yeah they have numbers on the box and that's how many calories are in the whole pint right so this is 320 if you eat all of it

which I don't I call bullshit you don't think you don't believe it I think they're lying lying through teeth you're being insane I think this is like that classic episode of Seinfeld when they find out the fro yo is a scam I think that's what's going on here but let me bite into this pancake and waffles it does have a very smooth texture to it this is the one where I think part of the way they they get away with the less calories is that they do they have some sort of artificial sweetener how are they sweetening it here yeah stevia leaf is part of what they're

sweetening so they're cutting out a lot of the show I think this sucks I mean the cookie cream one and I think it's terrible you song can you come over here pancake and waffles is okay I mean it's got some it's very strong maple flavor definitely a little bit of an artificial aftertaste so the instructions for halo top were cookie dough pancake and waffles what do we have and or if they didn't have a birthday cake or red velvet and then one you song pick

we have sea salt caramel and then what's that one cookies and cream cookies and cream what's the issue cookie dough oh I thought I texted because there was no cookie dough would cookies and cream be accepted yeah I think I texted back yes so that's oh there's a little side chain with you song and Nick it was in the main group chat you don't boys ultimate chain you song says is not your boss you don't work for him

he doesn't have hiring and firing power you did a good job so sir cookies and creams is a fine substitute you for calling you song out like this people need to be a held accountable Nick I don't see this in the text message change though they don't have the cookie private text do you realize what like a you know the private text was is you son I'm Nick I have an idea I think these ice creams are better oh fuck okay also is cookies and cream cool for halo top instead of cookie dough weiger I think so well guess what you thought wrong

you song cookies and cream terrible the worst ice cream I've eaten today and I like cookies and cream I don't think that's his fault try it though it is it is legit bad here give me one of those ice cream alright pancakes and waffles is going is going to Emma Emma's sending it over to Mitch I am going to dig into the cookies and cream right now I'm trying the sea salt caramel which oh man I guess this is the you son pick the pancakes and I guess kind of everything you son pick it smells so they're all you son picks these last ones are all you son picks this smells so much like syrup it's disgusting Emma also

is also mad at you songs hey so I just had the cookies and cream which was a you son got that as a substitute um a you song I have a question real quick what the fuck is your problem sorry I want an ice cream not frozen dog shit okay sea salt caramel like I said it's one of my favorite flavors you son pick this one out I'm sure it's very good let me try it yeah

actually fine yeah right yeah I would say this one I mean the cookies and cream tastes so artificial it definitely does not have any sort of Oreo element the texture is completely off work it's really weird awful I mean it's very maple I found that the maple I was all okay with but just like the artificial aftertaste is a little bit much for me what dog park you picked these up from you song you son come over here do we have another spoon you son

you gotta eat it we should make him eat this one this one's pretty bad the sea salt caramel is fine it's not it's not objectionable okay the cookies and cream is pretty bad that is awful uh no honestly I will say the sea salt caramel I actually if not to get ahead but if it was this versus the Ben and Jerry's core I actually think I would prefer this I agree it's just like a little it is the flavor it doesn't weirdly taste as artificial

right that's the one if I my halo top proof of concept why are we ending with halo top this sucks it's the new kid on the block it's the best-selling pint in America now this sucks this you and you son's horrible aftertaste in my mouth what the burger boy and you song have set this up so that we'd have a shitty taste in our mouths at the end of the competition we're trying to set up anything bring cherry Gershia back over here um yeah this is the I mean waffles the smell is overwhelming I've had all three in a fun way sea salt caramel

the last one and yeah it's still not great it's the one where it's like okay I kind of get the hype behind halo top I kind of get the idea that like oh this is really only 320 calories for this entire pint and it tastes approximately like ice cream and that the flavor is not objectionable that one I get the other two especially the cookies and cream I found generally unpleasant I'm going in for a bite of everything but the to end mine halo top I mean the pancakes and waffles I want to actually kind of think it's like a cute flavor yeah and it you know it's a little artificial I don't

hate I mean the cookies and cream halo top is disgusting right it's really bad I can't believe they sell that yeah can't believe you son did that I also don't understand why it's so hard you would think that would be pretty easy flavor for them to approximate yeah um alright well those are all our halo tops Mitch and Susser are clearing their pallets with scoops of other ice cream I'm not doing so because I'm not a child and we're going to uh we're going to get into our judging here so again 10 points a piece for flavors first bite

and vanilla or theoretical vanilla two points a piece for pint design negative 30 points for rumblies I will start hog and does I enjoyed all the flavors I thought the vanilla could have been a little more forward I actually like the green tea the hot the coffee was great the coffee may have been the coffee of the cherry Garcia is the best flavor I had of the of the nine of these I'm going to give this an eight for flavors uh first bite I mean the first bite I had was of that green tea and I enjoyed it and the first bite of the coffee is great I like the green tea ice cream I have

always liked green tea ice cream I think it's a good it's a good valid flavor I'm certain there are a lot of green tea acolytes out there hashtag green tea nation Emma's a member she just gave the hang loose symbol um the uh but the the the the coffee is particularly pleasant the vanilla has a nice first bite to it good texture to all of these I'm going to give this a nine theoretical vanilla hey I had the actual vanilla but you know what I wish they'd actually step it up a little bit I'm going to give it an eight um although it's an eight it's it's very good but it could be a little better

um pint design love the hog and does I love the I love the brand name even though it doesn't mean anything I like the gold coloration I'm going to give that a two and uh rumblies uh it's hard to judge at this point I am just going to give it a I'm going to be safe and give this a negative five uh Ben and cherries uh oh I said Ben and cherries because I had cherries on my mind for that delicious cherry Garcia and uh that definitely is the one that puts the flavors over the top for me although the the the core I did not really enjoy but the other two I thought were were nice

I'm going to give it a seven for flavors first bite the first bite I had was of core and um you know just trying to couple together a good core bite it's just too much labor I found that unpleasant I'm going to go six um theoretical vanilla I think Ben and Jerry's would do a plainish vanilla and to me that goes right down the middle that's a five uh pint design I love the Ben I love the Ben and Jerry's aesthetic I think it's perfect for their brand it's perfectly fitting I like when they have like Jimmy Fallon on on the uh the pint I think that's a lot of fun um you know more Fallon is just a note what it's just a note overall

they have it on tonight though but I think they can make them sort of a mascot for the brand I'd like to see throw some Jimmy on there you want more Fallon that'd be great wait they also have Colbert you'd prefer Fallon though I think like I think they're on the side of Fallon I mean they want to make they want to throw some more that's okay you want more Fallon on on Ben and Jerry pints yeah in different contexts why not Ben and Jerry they're fun they are a lot of fun but I mean I think of them as more like the the icons of the brand not not like the mascot um for for rum let's say they get a two for pint design and for rumblies I'm doing the same

I don't I don't see a reason to go other than the negative five uh for this one just sort of a baseline rumblies possibility uh halotop flavors zero first bite zero theoretical vanilla would taste awful zero pint design they're fine one rumblies I mean I'm gonna say they get a plus five for rumblies because this isn't even ice cream wow and those are the only positive points they're gonna get

okay sure I'm not gonna get any rumblies because I'm not even an ice cream here I got what you did let me unspool paper towel here I got a mess to clean up you want to buy another spool no I think a second spool would be very functional I'll kill you I'll kill you all right well now we have on on tape that this is premeditated I hope you do kill me because that's gonna be accidental it's gonna be it's gonna be within it's gonna be pat it's gonna be

you and within a fit of passion is that what it is when do you get off the hook is it with if it's not nothing you never get off the hook for murder not if you plan it out no not if you get off the hook for manslaughter never for murder no one will know about it then how's that you think you can pull that off you can make it disappear I watch a lot of ID channel just like my mom you think you could pull off the perfect murder I think I could kill weigher I think Natalie could probably help me out

yeah she'd give I mean she'd probably get pretty involved in planning here's the big thing yes if they don't find the body even get away with it no yeah they don't find the body ever you're good to go baby I don't think that's true I think people have been convicted off of so circumstantial evidence alone they didn't plan the perfect sandwich we go out for a fishing adventure you and I and you and I'd come back in there was a crazy storm that happened and you fell overboard

I mean this is you think and I say I try to get me sank immediately to the bottom he might have been a robot they troll the ocean they they then they they'd interrogate you for when you when I'd fallen overboard because that would be the thing you remember they they'd troll the ocean for that officer please I'm too torn up about this is what I say we can't interrogate him wait aren't you a professional actor I've seen love all right Mitch get into your your flavors

first bite you know what I think sharks and swim right by your bony ass bitch they wouldn't want to fucking take a bite out of you you're sufficiently meaty to be chum that's right no no shock would want fucking want to deal with you you know what I will take the compliment because I sometimes feel a little self conscious about getting a little doughy so it's nice to know that I'm still appear as a slender man yes slender man is right the original slender man all right flavors I'm going to start with

I'll start with hog and us I would say that the flavors for hog and us that coffee is really good yeah then you song shitty green tea brings it way down disagree and then the vanilla is just all right so I'm going to say it gets a six for flavors six wow okay you song have you tried the green tea from hog and us please please please do it I'm interested in this because I like green tea ice cream I thought it was a good execution but I'm interested in what you song thanks first bite for hog and us I'm going to give it a I'll give it a

six again six another six just I mean just kind of playing I don't know it was it's it was good the coffee was the best yeah first bite boy careful throwing these consecutive sixes around Mitch you might summon a Diablo if you just say six three times whatever we're not going to get into that cause the devil when you're in your mind you're like wait is it the radical vanilla not theoretical at all mm-hmm I'll give it a seven Nick six six seven

okay God's number came in and then pint design for for hog and us whatever five no it's only to do it's only to do one or two or zero I'll give it a one great negative rumblies I'm going to go minus I think I'm going to go minus just five because I think that is not too bad that's what I did as well halo top flavors zero mm-hmm

whoa first bite zero yep theoretical vanilla I'll give it a three how are you going to get three out of that you know what theoretical vanilla one because it might be fine all right good you song you also get a zero negative rumblies I agree with you that I don't think it would hurt your stomach as much but you know what with all the fucking weird shit in there I'm going to give it a negative ten negative ten fuck them you skipped pint design pint design

zero five zero whatever they're new and their pints are fine right all right and Ben and Jerry's Ben and Jerry's flavors wow first bite nine wow theoretical vanilla seven negative rumblies ten wait negative ten yeah what and what's your pint design score two

yeah they do have a good I tell you that's my favorite of the bunch yeah they have a nice I don't want more Fallon I like the font a lot I like you know what I want there lino oh that would be fun hey open up yeah they call his ice cream like you got a little on your chin or something a little bit on my chin it's got it's got little chin pieces in there that's fun

yeah too for that little thing too yeah little thing I think I should bump it up to a five little thing we came up with mm all right um susser go ahead hagan as Ben and Jerry's halo top okay hagan as flavors man it's tough because I think you song really boned us because with the game song screwed us is that but is boned bad to say no I think it's fine I can't keep I can't keep I can't keep track that did sound like

a correction yeah sorry I got nervous oh no wait I just want to make clear that I gave a better score to Ben and Jerry's in the hagan yeah yeah I could what did you think of the green to you song do you like it all right well at least it made you happy I did like and I really did like the coffee if you don't take it home we're taking to the fucking dumpster by the way vanilla vanilla I wonder if they have

you son can you Google they have a vanilla bean I'm not a sliver I would be curious to know that like if they're two vanilla but I think pretty good I would say six and a half I guess for flavors there is a vanilla bean oh looks like you fucked up once again song wait hold on I'm lost so so your score I was I was adding up other ones flavors I've only gotten the flavors I said six six and a half okay great then first bite it's an inoffensive it's pleasant it's nice it goes down

smooth I'll go even seven for hagan does wow rumbly's I actually think this would be one of no point design theoretical vanilla three theoretical vanilla well it's tough because we did have vanilla but I read I bet their french vanilla would be even better right I'll go with eight okay rumbly's I think this would be one of the least defenders of rumbly's I'm gonna only go with negative two wow and then your pint design score point five

negative two point five no positive hmm wait hold on what point five okay the negative two it's not a negative two point five for rumbly's it's a point five for a pint design and negative two for rumbly's right okay Ben and Jerry's flavors I mean they're fun these flavors these are fun flavors they are a hoot too much fun maybe hmm yeah possibly so much fun you don't know that seven and a half seven and a half okay okay um so far

first bite it's again it's like that really sweet it's fun it's a little too much but I think it's pretty good you're like oh yeah I'm having a treat I'll go with eight eight like that wow and uh theoretical they came up with my theoretical vanilla test yeah so I think they do a pretty good job but it kind of with all without all the bells and whistles how good it would be so seven seven okay rumbly's

I do think you might have more rumbly's yeah but not too bad but there's just so much stuff in there there's just so much stuff so negative seven and then do you have a pint design oh yeah of course there's a two these are fun guys they're great so much fun they're great okay can you imagine leno on the fucking on the pint oh man that'd be great oh we gotta get leno on the pint you throw you banks on there that tastes great jay everyone's having fun yeah all right halo top okay halo top flavors I think we had one good flavor

two busts so I'll do even three point five three point five wow um what's next uh the uh first bite well one the well again I'll I'll split it but no I'll say one point five one point five um theoretical vanilla theoretical vanilla I think the vanilla would actually be bad yeah I think it would be dog shit so point five point five and then

pint design I'll give it actually two because I do think for what it's trying to do sure it's slick it has the calories which I think you know brings people in it seems light and air you're right so I'll give it a two I do I share Mitch's concern with all this artificial stuff I don't know how good it is for your stomach I'll say negative five negative five very fair um well guys we have a we have a two horse race halo top it's clearly way way way out of commission yeah fuck halo top there in the trash

it's down between Haagen Daz and Ben and Jerry's let me just do a little math here because this is going to be awfully close and do we want to go by the score or do we want to argue if we don't like it I think we can go by the score but then also argue if we don't like it okay all right hold on I'm doing a little bit a little bit more what do you what do you think it's gonna be I think it's Ben and Jerry's I think Haagen Daz is going to win because Weigar put it in his fate and put it his way I made my I made Ben and Jerry's win but the yours yours yours probably

made it win too but the rumbly score I don't know it was very very close but we do have a winner oh man I'm excited who is it what do you okay with fifty one point five points Ben and Jerry's with fifty seven points our winner of the pints division at Haagen Daz ice cream he tilted it so much in the favor of Haagen Daz fair I don't like it either and you know what susser together we can vote on the winner so sir if you and I want Ben and Jerry's to win just

say the word this is like a United Nations Security Council veto that's right to overturn the popular vote and and and tilted towards your own desires well I would hold on people are going to be mad if we know that no they won't why we're voting for our favorite and to our two people's favors are Ben and Jerry yeah but they literally like like listen to fifteen minutes of us reciting numbers I would say that you song can make the decision but no way no way joy joy reciting numbers I declare green tea the best flavor that's not the what good is that you're given by the way you've lately given you song the voice of King

from Wreck it Ralph you song wishes oh what a surprise a reference for for you as a fucking Disney picks our movie yeah it's we had too much candy stuff this is what this is what's going on I've I've aired my grievances with Wreck it Ralph before this is what's going on to face Baskin Robbins was that this is what's going on to face Baskin Robbins I got to go with I get to go with you know what I fuck you you put it so much in Hagan does flavor you wanted Hagan does to win Wyger so what you said flavor instead of favor you get ice cream on the brain favor you know that you want Hagan does to win yeah I'm gonna fucking

ice cream headache over here you want Hagan does to win Susser I think that you and I you know what I agree in my heart that Ben and Jerry's one and was here but I think I'm gonna uphold and stick with the man hold on wow hold on a second yes there's something new coming in I'm changing my the rumblies are settled in Hagan does I have a new rumbly score negative 30 I don't think so it's the truth it's my numbers just like what Wyger did except now I'm doing it more than he did negative 30 for Hagan does rumbly all right well that gives it to Ben and Jerry's cuz I'm not gonna mend my score like a baby and Ben and Jerry's

is negative 30 from me fine I think I think I think and no I think still I think it's still I think still Ben and Jerry's I don't think it took quite evens out whatever look we'll start all this out we'll take a break we'll be back with more Doe Boys welcome back to Doe Boys we're here with Evan Susser of the Evan Susser summer ice cream in a mission hole can I can I just say though yes will give me so much shit for rigging stuff you clearly read this for Hagan I didn't read it I said what I felt in my heart also by the way if we were just doing like best two out of three Susser's Hagan does score was slightly higher than his

score however in the spirit of having a fair fight in the finals I think we should put our best our best foot forward collectively seems like both of you agree that it's Ben and Jerry's I had a slight advantage to Hagan does I am going to rest in that and I'm going to say that Ben and Jerry's should go in we should take it just as Baskin Robbins was our unanimous pick Ben and Jerry's should all sort of unite come together behind this behind Ben and Jerry's and have it be our champion for the pints division going into the finals I think there's a great lesson here yes I think both Mitch and Nick you guys give each

other a hard time about having fits yeah having fits with works it's true you know what I respect that and I'm on board now so it's Ben and Jerry's going against Baskin Robbins which frankly that's the batch up you want to see it's a good back it's look this is the Cavs versus the Warriors right it otherwise is like you know some fluke we're a team that's like not really supposed to be in there make it to the finals and you're not even you don't care sure this is the matchup that we want to see Ben and Jerry's versus Baskin Robbins the two top dogs the two Titans and you know we're not going to go through a ponderous

a bunch of math here we're not going to give different points for every we are going to do some math though how so we're just we're not going to know more math we're not going to list a bunch of numbers we're just going to say what's in our heart but I just want to recap Baskin Robbins we talked about this on our Doughboys double episode I told you that I should be hogging does in Ben and Jerry's versus Baskin Robbins I think it should be a three way now it's two that doesn't make any sense no because then you're going to say it will all three will have a stalemate where everyone will pick a different one right

right Baskin Robbins the flavors we got blackberry hibiscus again which is blackberry ice cream with us with a blackberry swirl son go to patreon get the double you don't have it you're missing out we love our free listeners you don't know we don't you don't have to free load you don't have this you don't have to pay to enjoy the podcast I got peanut butter cup which is vanilla flavored ice cream and Reese's peanut butter cups and Oreo and cake which was you songs pick cake flavored ice cream Oreo pieces chocolate favorite flavored ribbon I think we all agreed that the peanut butter cup was outstanding the

Oreo and cake was a little polarizing Mitch you weren't crazy about it Susser and I liked it you weren't crazy about it partly because you song picked it out and get your bias against that and the blackberry hibiscus you song the ragging on you songs a joke don't anyone get mad everyone's friends right you song he's laughing up a storm he's had he likes it he likes it over there he likes it he's having a good time he's preparing a workplace harassment suit bankrupto boys media I know they said they were joking I don't like that kind of body we all we all very much enjoyed the Baskin Robbins it was up against

Coldstone Coldstone was pretty wack Baskin Robbins was great Ben and Jerry's I had a very strong showing here today I'm curious to see what is going to win the Susser summer ice cream Invitational what is going to take home not the World Cup the cold the cold cup the cold cup who's going to take home the cold I was going to say the ice cream cup because that's the thing but cold cup is good here's what I was like Baskin Robbins they really I was really impressed by going there and like it was great they don't have much flash it's not like a cool ice cream plays they're not at all that's not what everyone's talking about by any means

but they're they are solid it's a well I like them absolutely execute Ben and Jerry's they're fun like getting a pint of Ben and Jerry's if you just show up it's like oh man that's fun see that's good I want Ben and Jerry's to be up in the final and I think also with Ben and Jerry's like they lost and somehow they still won they're the best that's like the spirit of Ben and Jerry this is hard for me because I like both of these places you guys kind of are Ben and Jerry of podcast true now so yes see what a Jerry thing to say we don't know we're not very serious that's a thing is are they great areas

I don't really know what their personalities they seem like smiley guys I told the story on here just recently about how they Harris showed me the fish concert where they waddled out on stage and they were having fun on stage and they sang a verse of a song it was very funny fish food fish food yeah one sweet world as a Dave Matthews sure they had a couple Dave Matthews flavors I think they're hippies I like their politics you know I yeah alright we're the Ben and Jerry's a podcasting fine who else is gonna good job sus I liked it but a Baskin Robbins is also fun it's just fun for a different demographic kids it's fun for kids

kids love it it's a hoot you get an ice cream Sunday in an upside down baseball hat you take that baseball hat home you have it on your shelf for your entire childhood even though you're not an angels fan that's the story of Nick Weiger you know I will remember you have an ice cream Sunday you enjoyed you really nailed it that yeah that I didn't really think about the best and Robins is really more for kids yeah Ben and Jerry's a little more for adults or you mature teens right and it's almost a little overwhelming I think Ben and Jerry's for kids it really is these are not the flavors I know as I mentioned earlier

that was a thing that was a thing in my school kids were bringing up that like how weird the Ben and Jerry's flavors their mom and dad were mom and dad got were so yeah and you know you got the clown cone you got the polar pizza which is great you got the ice cream cakes for kids birthdays yeah it's a Baskin Robins is a whole scene so I guess what this comes down to yeah is are we grown or are we kids at heart oh I know the answer for you let's say our answer let's say our winner of the Susser Summer Ice Cream Invitational on the count of three I think I got to be allowed in right you can also vote for hog and us good all

right one two three Baskin Robins congratulations Ben and Jerry's not my pick but I'm happy that you won here's the thing here's the thing I'm a father now I put away childish things Nick yeah you're still a minions loving kid at heart absolutely you the if you could you'd be in the bot you'd be inside the body of a seven year old and you be going to elementary school every day wait a minute but you'd still have your adult mind for me I think

I think that I want I don't want to say it's a clear winner I think of as far as the pines go the Ben and Jerry's was the clear winner yeah and I think it beats Cold Stone to because I think it does what Cold Stones even trying to do but right I had a much more successful year yeah 100% and so it's it's basically in my mind it was not beforehand I had an open mind but I'm saying after we had everything I said to myself this is Ben and Jerry before before I ate the pines after we ate the two ice cream parlors and before we ate the pines I said I had never tried how halo tops I didn't know what it was going to happen with it and

I and I've had Hagan Doss and Ben and Jerry's I think they're both good pints they're both very good pints but in my head I was like this is going to come down to Baskin Robbins and probably Ben sure and it was very it's close between those two it really is close hey you know we've learned there's a lot of good ice cream options out there and you know what Dairy Queen would have won all right let's not reopen this I think Dairy Queen Blizzard maybe would win you think Dairy Queen Blizzard would be would be Ben and Jerry if you see the if

you know our text messages were hacked and you can see we were we were out to get Dairy Queen from the beginning right this was an elaborate scheme hashtag DQ would have won if you think that they are the rather than you don't you don't think it would have been up there I think it really would have been up there I just think it's a different style of ice cream it's just crazy for a pint I mean if we want to Ben and Jerry's I mean Jerry's they didn't even go to Michigan you know what I think would win if you actually open it up to everything I think the Wendy's frosty would win not because it's not because

it's not because it's the best because it's the most widely available it's like when you see those surveys of the best chains in America and what Papa Johns is like number one it's because you're open this up to the world if you open it up to all of the the chain ice creams available it's going to go to the most mainstream widely available in some crazy scenario where people don't get flurry where they don't get to try what they're voting for maybe but if you like get people from all over the world and say try this and then vote like we did where we tried it and then voted there's no way the Wendy's as well and

also I would Wendy's win and not McDonald's I mean that there you go maybe McFlurry would win I would say that I think I think a DQ Blizzard could maybe win I think McFlurry I think I think that yet I maybe would have a chance here but I would just say like we I think we are we at correctly narrowed the scope of this contest to scoopable classic it's crazy it's crazy me that Ben and Jerry's pints one because if we went to the Ben and Jerry's up in up in Burbank the actual place where you get scooped ice cream the parlor yes I think it would have won in the landslide interesting I think if we got Dairy Queen McFlurry's all that

stuff in there I think Haagen-Dazs could have walked away with it yeah because then it would have been a more crowded primary in the super premium Haagen-Dazs maybe would have stood out more right propped up by corporate money hmm all right so wait hold on yes there's some there's some Haagen-Dazs supporters that are going to be upset with me specifically that's why I regret this entire competition that has been the Evan Susser summer ice cream invitational wow thank you put it up to the mic there's more of a beginning than I realized yeah some of those wrestling

themes have quite a little bit of a front end but I forgot to play my theme music at the beginning you're playing it to close us out I thought you're gonna like make some announcement now or something as the commissioner well that ice cream invitational is done it was only one week if you didn't like it whatever back to regular programming next week second up it's time for a regular segment don't don't bro it under the box it was great I thought it was great to I liked it oh you didn't people are people complain every time we get Gabriel back on every time it's not about you every time we deviate from our

established format people who listen to the show for the format of it are like where was the fork ratings there's a lot of people with that attitude I should throw you in the freezer hey I think I'd like to live there oh really yeah I have a message for the people who listen for the format yes get a fucking wife it's time for a segment this is a new segment it's called eating it up state that's right we've got some snacks from it courtesy of you saw you saw again no oh he's got potato chips your green tea flavored potato chips these are Wegmans potato chips these are from the I don't

I mean these are and you should know these Mitch this is where I bet in Wegmans many times my wife's I'd never been to a Wegmans are heard of a Wegmans until I met my wife and her whole extended family loves Wegmans people love her grandfather lives in Rochester New York and they oh it's part of like you drive there you stop at Wegmans on the way for lunch you get Wegmans you know food you get it I've gotten a many great meatballs sub from Wegmans they make some good sandwiches college kids used to shop there and steal stuff like little assholes from Wegmans so these are great wins is great these are crispy potato

snacks we got a salt and pepper flavor we had a cheddar flavor we got a barbecue flavor I'm eating the cheddar right now I just have the salt and pepper flavor as opposed to a classic chips these are just like straight up rounds like they aren't like but like shaved potatoes they're like formed into a round like chip like oh sorry round like cracker like like a Ritz cracker sized portion I had that one actually these are basically pop chips they're basically like pop this is Wegmans version of pop chip is this but is this their classic this is what they're they're known for this is a new version get

over here you saw who got more explaining to do I think these are the closest things that we could find weird right you know what though I think better than pop chips they're definitely better than pop chips I like them better than pop chips quite way by a pretty substantial margin I'd say the cheddar I think I could use a little bit more cheese flavor the salt and pepper I thought were quite nice I'm having the barbecue right now salt and pepper in my favorite barbecue second favorite cheddar least favorite barbecue is not bad it's like a little bit of a vinegary barbecue as opposed to it that you know sweet

or good better that much better than I thought I I tell you I love salt and pepper as a chip flavor more places to do that yeah just have a conventional salt and pepper black pepper is a great element on a potato chip you put it on your baked potato you put it on your your mashed potatoes if you're a little crazy maybe you put it on your french fries I do that sometime it works out great have it on some chips these are a nice in between between pop chips and potato chips yeah I think these are great I mean here's what I would say and I'm partly biased because the only food I've had tonight is literally bites of 15

points of ice cream I want like actual food yeah we've had 15 kinds of ice cream tonight over the course these two episodes we've recorded and that's the that's I have not had dinner that's the only food I've eaten since I had like a banana at like 2 p.m. I'm as long as I've got chocolate coming Mitch and Sus are a man after my heart with me with a quick jumping on the despicable we reference when I mentioned bananas that said these snacks are I think are very good I like them quite a bit I think they're they're you know they're they're light and they're flavorful I think they they yeah I think

they're like a plus-duck pop chip I'm gonna say these are a definite snack I'm gonna give them three snacks to each of them I like the cheddar is the weakest but I'd say it's still a snack yeah I agree snack and you know I don't like I don't like pop chips you know who else I'll give a snack who you song you song you get a snack my friend are you saying he's looking like a snack he's looking like a snack and he's acting like a snack oh boy now he's really filing that workplace harassment suit we got now we got some chocolates here too oh boy I didn't know we had chocolate wagmans that's right dark chocolate covered candy

orange peel man I don't know if I can handle more sweets this is I was so excited to have something savory for having so much fucking ice cream and I love ice cream but it's just it was too it was excessive so these are like little these are they're kind of almost like beef jerky like in terms of their they're the like these little little slim Jim's style sticks then we got some dark chocolate almond toffee kind of tastes like a food that like would be my grandmother's house yeah I agree with that I don't know about these yeah I like dark chocolate like chocolate and oranges but the the peel element is just

it's a little too citrusy where did these come from wagmans it does feel like a grandma's a grandma's a candy for sure the next one is a little grandma you too hmm you song are you are you a secret Grammy oh boy shades of Larry Johnson's campaign back in the day played for the Charlotte Hornets grandma ma okay I'm having a little a little this toffee dark chocolate almond toffee so these are little these are little disc shapes little squares what were you saying susser I like toffee and I like this but it's so much sweet this is good this is a very good toffee candy I don't like any more than a bite of it love toffee

toffee is just a little too much for me the last ones are turtles hey you know what caramel pecan turtles if you're out there and you like toffee hashtag toffee is for closers we don't like toffee hashtag toffee is for losers okay turtles I always I'm just irked by the by calling something turtles I had pet turtles growing up oh my god shut up I am they're not there's no turtle me in a turtle named Shredder and a turtle named Chip I love them wait a turtle named Shredder yeah Shredder an enemy of the turtles yeah he was my brother named him my brother named him he was being a little ironic but we were both Ninja

Turtles fans but then check the turtles yeah Shredder ran away and so I just had Chip for many years good call thank you Emma's there's two flies in the house now there's a fly that landed on the chocolates the chocolate caramel pecan turtles I'm gonna bite into now what makes them a turtle here's the cover blogger nice mm-hmm it's through that it went about halfway across the table maybe I'm a granny too all right I'm biting into this what what do you guys do you guys you guys are positive on this one the turtle mm-hmm if you got if you got a taste for for granny or grandpa stuff hashtag secret granny you know I mean

there's a lot of people who are like who like a toffee and where there's where there's I love where there's right now I think Dana Carvey would like it this one the turtle turd oh god all right it's time to wrap this I feel so sick I can't I can't evaluate why do we do the chocolate ones we have the chips the chips were great we like them why do we have these back from if we could have saved them for another segment you saw how was your how was your how was your visit to Ithaca you said you said that like this was a proof of life video just like a restaurant over your feedback yeah what are we doing snack or wax snack

for the turtles whack for the orange thing whack for the orange the turtles are whack for me and then a whack for the top I can't think straight on this I can't keep our wagons are still good and we have we love you saw I like the I like the chips that I love you song thank you very much for bringing these back yes thanks to vithika where I went to school you song went to school both equally well-respected schools thank you for getting all that stuff for us thank you for getting other ice cream for us earlier and then enduring that emotional abuse which you did not deserve he's the man let's open the feedback hey today's

email comes to us from Jane from Chicago Jane writes wait Jane what she didn't conclude her last name Jane writes I just listened to the excellent episode with Bill Oakley on Panera bread his point that Panera services the perfect place to break bad news rings true for me I'm a social worker and when I was a case worker for adult protective services Panera bread was always the first place I'd pick if I needed an impromptu place to meet clients I think the last conversation I had where she worked she worked as a social worker at adult adult protective attorney doctor no trying to figure out her last day

I got a workplace she clearly wants to be anonymous she's including only her first name in her city I just don't know what what exactly was her job like what did she do what social worker this was this whole thing was your idea then you had so much ice cream you can't think straight you wanted to do this so bad now you're useless on the podcast I'm a social worker and when it was a case worker for adult protective services Panera bread was always the first place I'd pick if I needed an impromptu place to meet clients I think the last conversation I had there was brainstorming ideas for evicting an

abuser from the victim's condo whoa very dark Jesus the whole paradigm had me thinking what fast food place is the perfect place to share good news we know it involves evicting an abuser so it's probably not a pleasant thing to dig in on but that said the I think that I like this flip of the question the good place to share good news a celebratory place I think an old-school pizza hut parlor you find one of those I mean that's just a blast that's a great celebration for good news I like that so good news is hey I'm get we're having a kid we got engaged right like that like you get your friends together and say a

pizza parlor is good pizza parlor is good right Pete you're having fun at a pizza parlor it's a blast Chinese dim sum oh that's fun I like that I do think that's fun that's a great one okay again fast food place oh fast food place yeah think of a chain think of what what we do on our show the gimmick of our show I'm getting mad at me I get what it is you weren't let neither of you were listening to specific question I said pizza parlor turn it I know we agree we both are on the same park a public park I feel so sick what wait a chain for good news yeah I mean honestly if you get a good clean nice McDonald's I think that

could be fun that's a blast that's fun it could be fun I also think too this is a thing where the good news is this something for if it's if you're telling someone this good guys I got one yes an ice cream place a fast yeah there you go as wait was this a setup the whole time it wasn't but this is perfect an ice cream spot go to Baskin Robbins share a Sunday and then mom share your good news I'm having a baby I could tell my mom so it's a junior situation don't worry about it if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants you email us at dough boys podcast at email dot com or leave us a

voicemail at 830 go dough that's 830 463 6844 and to get the dough boys double our weekly bonus episode join the Golden Play Club at patreon.com slash dough boys ever you know what I think you saw deserves the last we really wrote them in these last two episodes and he deserves the last word sure I mean we are so Susser doesn't say do you want to plug anything yes everybody sign up for the dough boys double so you can listen to the first episode of the Evan Susser summer ice cream invitation like this we told you before you're not getting a kickback you song you song you have the last word you got the last word buddy

song is making his way over to the microphone I tried my best and there are a lot of details going around when I was picking up the pints to pick unless they have to go fuck ourselves either more angry or more like oh it didn't matter now it seems like you're actually mad hey oh boy yeah go fuck yourself whoa hell yeah he's crying now see ya hey guys you want more dough boys to get the dough boys double our weekly bonus episode join the Golden Play Club sign up at patreon.com slash dough boys that was a hate gun podcast