Doughboys - The Great Shrimp Off with Sean Clements and Hayes Davenport

Episode Date: October 26, 2017

The exciting conclusion of Jockdoughberfest 2017 takes us to Red Lobster for the long-awaited Great Shrimp Off! Recorded live at a Red Lobster in Canoga Park, CA, the 'boys go head to head against Sean Clements & Hayes Davenport, hosts of Hollywood Handbook, as they compete in the pinnicle of athleticism and eating.  Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1869, a faction of amateur American baseball clubs, including the Cincinnati Red Stockings, the Boston Red Stockings, and the St. Louis Brown Stockings, converged to form the first U.S. Pro League, the National Association of Professional Baseball Players. Though a bold experiment, by 1875 the fledgling organization had disbanded, with most of its franchises reforming as the newly organized National League of Professional Baseball Clubs. Later, in 1895, Ben Johnson ascended to leadership of baseball's floundering Western League, and revamped and rebranded it as the American League of Professional Baseball Clubs. In 1903, these two dominant U.S. baseball federations, the National League and the American League,

began matching up their champions to determine an overall winner in a succession of games dubbed, in characteristically ethnocentric American hubris, the World Series. This tradition is carried on to this day, with the 113th contest currently underway between the NLs, Los Angeles Dodgers, and the ALs, Houston Astros. Flashback 150,000 years to an even older and more universal tradition, the human consumption of shellfish. Two caves uncovered by paleoanthropologists, one in South Africa, one in the South of Spain, show evidence that prehistoric Neanderthals and other human ancestors consumed muscles, oysters, and prawns, most commonly referred to in the U.S. as shrimp. While the Jewish Kosher Law of the Old Testament

outright forbade their consumption, designating them abominations, shellfish was still eaten across the globe, among indigenous peoples of the Americas, in Southeast Asia, and in ancient Greece. Today, unrelenting worldwide demand for shrimp and prawns has led to an international fishing trade rife with labor abuses and large-scale farming and trawling techniques with untold ecological consequences. And now, as Joctoberfest 2017 concludes, these two pillars of civilization converge. World-class competition and shrimp consumption. Who among us can eat the most pink shrimpies? This week on Doughboys, coming to you live from Red Lobster in Canoga Park, California, it's the Great Shrimp Off.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants for production of Feral Audio.com. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Kevin McWale, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Kevin McWale. Yeah, that roast is gonna see him out, Kevin McHale. That roast is gonna see him out, Larry from Long Island. If you have an insult like that. He's not Larry Bird. I mean, I don't think Larry Bird lives in Long Island, an Indiana native who played for the Celtics. I don't think at any point you live in Long Island, New York. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. RoastScreenMan at Gmail.com would be like an insult. If you have an insult from Edge. The podcast has started. Yeah. We're

at Red Lobster. We're at the Red Lobster in Canoga Park, California. Yes. So it goes from your intro, and then the podcast started and you have started to speak softer than you were even before the podcast started. Oh, that's interesting. You know what it is? I think the light is kind of low in here. It's very dark. And so we kind of have a library feel. Like, I feel like I need to be on my best behavior in here. We'll stop that. You're right. I should be talking in a normal voice. I shouldn't be talking in this sort of... And I know Hayes just spoke. I'm gonna wait until I'm introduced to speak. Thank you. Anyways, this is perfect timing. Yeah, this is really how the Spoon Nation...

And here's a drop. Ladies and gentlemen, Spoon. Mike Mitchell. Does it sound good, Dustin? I like this. Yeah, I can't get out of it. Do you like apples? Yeah. Why do I have a number? What? How do you like them apples? Okay! All right. That was a drop, and that was from... It was his first drop. Steven Nuzzo, Twitter at Sleeve Noodles. Give us one second before we order. These guys aren't going to say it. I appreciate that. We're at Red Lobster Live. This is a crazy... We can get into it. We're here at the Red Lobster Live. Speak up, Liger. They've been very accommodating. Angel our server is here. Jeff, the general manager is here. He has to play a little music from his phone. Yeah,

it's part of the podcast. We've got a whole thing going on. It's part of their thing. Most shows don't do it. Yeah, this is our normal order of operations. They're all a little out of whack here in the nature of this episode. This is a great shrimp off. It's a great shrimp off. We promised this last time. We're at Red Lobster. We're at, as we said, three times. We're at Red Lobster. And let's... Angel, why don't you... Actually, let's introduce our guests, and then Angel will let you give us some context for what we're going to do here. Sure. So with us, last year they were here for a Rock Lobster Fest. They're here back this year for this promised event. The host of the essential podcast, Hollywood Handbook, on here were Shawn Clements and Hayes

Davenport are back. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Thanks for doing this. Thanks for being a part of this. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having us. Hi, angels. Hi, how are we all doing over here? We're doing great. We're doing really good. The fans are excited about this. We are 100% ready to eat some shrimp. So what are our options in terms of endless shrimp here? So you guys have had endless shrimp here before? We have. Okay, so it's a little different this year with us this year. This year you started by choosing two. The first two that you pick is going to be a double portion. Okay. Anything after that will be a single portion. We do have some really good ones this year. We have a dry rub. That's with the Cajun, paprika, rub with it. When it's drizzled

with some warm honey on it, we also have a skewer, Mediterranean skewer that's covered with some green onions and some cherry tomatoes, sliced cherry tomatoes. That one's a really good one. Okay. I don't know. A couple of our entrees from last year. We have the shrimp linguine. We have the hand-breaded shrimp. We have the skewer. We have oh, the scampi. We have the scampi as well. Yes. We do have the coconut shrimp. We love that one if you like. Yeah. Okay. So do you want to get started? Yeah. Two options. Sure. Let's get started. I want to do the Mediterranean shrimp. I'm going to go with that for my starter. Is this the one I had tomatoes at 10? Yeah. You don't have to eat the tomatoes. Yeah. I guess that's

the third one. I'm just saying that you shouldn't have stuff that will hold you back. But I'm also going to just pick why. Can I also actually, can I also do a dinner salad? Yeah. You know what, it's going to come with the side. Okay. The side choices are a big potato, mashed potatoes. We have rice, broccoli. We have a shell. We have some creamy linguine, a lobster, sauce if you want to put it on. These potatoes are the big potato. And then it also comes with the salad as well. I just got one question. Are we going to get some of those biscuits? Yes, you will. What do you guys put in those things? I swear they were like, okay, so you, we got the Mediterranean. Yeah. Do the Mediterranean. And wait, so I get one more.

I'll do the Cajun one. That was the first option, right? The natural hot. The natural hot. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, dang. And then for the side, you get a dress of a side. Yeah. Give me the broccoli. What the hell are you doing? We get a side. It comes with it. Yeah. Also a salad, a garden salad, Caesar salad, or coleslaw. Or we can give you a couple soups for a little extra. We have the creamy bacon potato, the New England clam chowder, and the lobster. Are you going to order an extra soup? I'll do it. You know what, I'll do the clam chowder. The clam chowder? It's an eating, we're eating, it's a shrimp off. Yeah, but that sounds good. I get some broccoli to balance it out. What's your help up for you? I'm going to do the breaded shrimp. The hand breaded?

And then the coconut shrimp. And the coconut shrimp. I want it to be fried. I'm going to do mashed potatoes, but I'm not going to eat them until the shrimp off is over. Okay. And for the salad, a garden salad, Caesar salad, or coleslaw? Can I offer you a soup? I'll do a garden salad, please. Also, we'll not eat that until the shrimp off is over. Okay. What kind of dressing? Do you have creamy Italian? We have the champagne vinaigrette. That sounds good. I'm going to do it. All right. It's a much heavier order than the one you've criticized. Why are you for it? All fries. The potatoes. The broccoli. I'm getting the fried out of the way.

Fried is going to be helpful because, trust me, I'm going to try to eat as many as I can. Right. Oh, um, uh, I'll go. I'll get the coconut shrimp as well. Are there any rules that I should know? Well, we'll talk about the rules. I think we'll get into the rules. Shouldn't I know them before I order? We'll make it or not. You're going to order and then we'll get into the rules. What do you think between the Mediterranean and the Nashville hot one? You know what? You can try them all. You can try them all. Yeah, you can stick to the tune of July. I kind of feel a little pushy, you guys, because I like to see how much you guys get to eat.

Oh, yeah. So just, you guys got to tell me, you know, cut off. Okay, but just to start with, I guess, as a pairing with the coconut, why don't I go with the Mediterranean? I'll try one of your Nashville hot ones. And have a bite of your side. Wait, you got the Nashville hot one. Yeah, you got the Nashville hot one. Yeah, yeah. And a side. Okay, great. Oh, my side. Yeah. You know what? I'll do the asparagus. The asparagus? No, that's a little extra, okay? Hey, I think he's good for it.

How many are you? Would you like a cup of soup or a little? Caesar. The Caesar? Awesome. Thank you. And then how about for you? Can I get the, is the Cajun hot, is the Nashville rubbed and the, are those two different ones? The Cajun and the Nashville? It's a rub. It's a same. That's all one kind of shrimp. No, on the Cajun, we do one and ten depending on how hot your tongue preference of sensor is. It's probably about seven, eight, I would say. Well, okay. I got to get that one. Cancel my Mediterranean. Get me the hot one. We're trying to eat as many of these as you guys will getting hot.

Yeah, it sounds good to me. Oh, God. Can I get the Mediterranean and the garlic grills, please? Just the skewer by itself, right? As opposed to what? I mean, I want shrimp on it, please. I mean, the garlic grills, it's just a skewer. I just want to stick with the garlic butter on it. It's not going to have Mediterranean sauce or, it's just going to be a skewer. That's great. Okay, gotcha. So make sure I'm writing down the right thing. And for your side? The side, can I get the broccoli, please? The broccoli? Broccoli. I don't want to have gotten broccoli.

And then a garden salad, I'm going to get a salad or a coleslaw, or we have in a cup of fish jam. We're going to get a garden salad, please. All right, gotcha. I'll bring up those biscuits. I'll get started, okay? Good luck. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Thank you. All right, so let's get down. Look, it's an away game for both of us. We're on the road. We're on the road to Rinconoga Park. I think one day of the Game One of the World series, we all had to miss. We all are not watching.

Are you a baseball fan? I don't really follow the whole stickball. Yeah, the old stickball. The gamer name is DevonportBaseball at AOL.com. That's my like Xbox gamer name. That's Canon. Why do you miss in the World series four? You didn't know, you could have, I feel terrible. For this, you made me come here. I didn't mean to make you come here. I don't mean to... You made me drive it out. On the way here, I had the scariest moment of my life that

I was going to show up and you guys weren't going to be here and there was going to be an episode about how Sean and I came all the way to Kanoka Park for a fake thing. I was here. I was here for like 10 minutes. You started a big rivalry. Well, I came straight from work. Look, we're not going to prank. We're not going to prank yet. This is a real thing. This is not a prank. Look, we promised to shrimp off.

I'm starting to think that we should do everyone first. Was there a lot of like demand for this? So here's the thing. I don't remember. No one tweeted at me. I don't have a thing. I wouldn't do it. I think everyone assumed it would just never happen. We teased this last year. I think everyone forgot about it. I'm going to say, was this your idea, Mitch? Whose idea was this?

It was my idea. Look, I don't think it's a good idea. It's the end of Jock Doberfest. Right. We've had a month of sports themed restaurants and there are many sports themed restaurants. We ran out very quickly. So you had to turn the restaurant into a sport. We kind of should have worn this into an athletic event. Yes. Yeah. And it's going to be fun. Look, here's some rules. We'll go over the basic rules.

Lager, do you want to tell them? Yeah. We've got the basic rules. So our production coordinator, you saw us here. He'll be acting as our ref. He just waved at us. He's also sitting at his own table. You're doing all right over there, you saw? Yeah. What do you got? What are you drinking? A Coke? He's got Coke and a water. Okay. All right. I can have caffeine this later. Give me up. So we had a...

We have a private room that is basically an empty restaurant in its own right. There are like six empty tables in this room. Yeah. It's very secluded. Like the darkest corner. The lights are dimmed. Like you said, there was music on. They turned it off. Right. Yeah. It's very odd. But it's good. It's working out in so far. We're having fun. So here are the rules we've established. You song will be acting as our official as I stated.

This is what we came to agreement on, Mitch and I. There's a 30-minute time limit. The two members of the same team have agreed to the rules. You're good to know. That's great. You guys have to agree to it too. If you want to throw in any alternate rules, this can be an open discussion. I've never been a big fan of rules. Oh, boy. Well, don't break them. We spent a good time figuring these out. Yeah. Okay. Here's what we got. Yeah. Me and the rules. Never got along so quickly. Bad news, pal. But go ahead. Read your rules. All right. Here's what we got.

Rule one. You song is in for the ride of his wife. What's your on tonight? Rule one. There's a 30-minute time limit that will begin when the first plate of endless shrimp arrives. Okay. I already have an issue with this rule. That's a terrible rule. I thought that it was one of the last plates so that we can all start. We all start once all the plates. Yeah. It has to be when all four of us have shrimp in front of us. Okay. So when the first round of the first courses, the first courses.

Yeah. That's right. I didn't think that they'd played us individually. I feel like they give us all arms. I think she's going to bring over a big old tray. All the sides. We'll say here's what we'll do. We'll come to a mutual agreement. Sides are on the sideline. Wait. Yeah. What sides are on the side? They don't count towards a total. Yes. Well, keep on going. On the sideline. Is that just a saying?

It's a thing we've said before. It's a thing that we say a lot. There's a 30-minute time limit that begins when we all have our food. Yeah. 30-minute time limit when we get our food. Any style shrimp, as we've just ordered a bunch of, as everyone listened to us for 10 minutes ordering in real time, we're there. Was that the first drop that a waitress has been present for? So far.

Any style shrimp is game. If anyone wants to mix it up and get a lobster, a lobster counts as 1.5 shrimp. That's right. Wow. It should be so much more. 1.5? Is this the tail? No, like a whole lobster. Okay, we got the vinaigrette salad. Oh, our salads are here. Okay.

Oh, great. Wait, we're not supposed to. Okay. This is not counting towards a time limit. Is this the time to start? No, the timer's no start. No, the timer's start when our shrimp arrive. Yeah. Well, I didn't have a salad. I got a salad.

I got a salad. There you go. Clam chowder's for me. Chowder for me. Caesar salad? Caesar salad. I got two baskets of biscuits, so you'll know. All right.

This is good. So don't, we don't relax for too long, Nick. Keep on the rules. Still pepper yourself. Still put the hell's wrong with you. I want a little fresh ground pepper. On the, uh... This isn't a shrimp off.

Okay, hey, Nick. Hey, there you go. You just gave me an idea. Say pepper is not that filling. Yeah. Pepper is not filling. In my experience, I've never filled up on pepper. At a restaurant.

Pepper is not filling. I'm gonna put some saltines in the soup, so... What are you doing? Are you gonna eat the soup right now? Well, it's hot. But anyway, so we've got the... This is the reversal of the classic Felix and Oscar dynamic that I've gotten.

He's being so weird. In any event, cheddar bay biscuits, which we now have in front of us. That's right. They count, not as shrimp, but for bonus biscuit points. Okay. However, there's a three-biscuit limit.

So no individual can eat more than three biscuits, but if you eat biscuits, they add to your total stability. I object. I think you forgot a word to say, no individual can not eat more than three biscuits. These things are like, we're an addict of like cracker hay.

This is my Coke, correct? Yeah, that's your... I got a Coke because it will help me burp, by the way. Wait. Hold on a second. You're gonna eat a biscuit right now? Yeah, I have a biscuit. What are you doing?

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is a biscuit one shrimp? Yeah, wait. Does it... Hey, you saw it? Do you think it counts as one shrimp? It's a biscuit bonus. And it counts as a biscuit bonus.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. What is a biscuit bonus? It's a biscuit bonus. We were saying it's point, and a shrimp is a point. So it's just what you're referring to is one point. The biscuits are supposed to count as three shrimp.

Okay. So a biscuit counts as our bonus biscuit point, and those are three shrimp apiece. Yeah, that's okay. You can only ask it... Oh, that's interesting. Here's the other thing. If you can only count if you eat them when it starts.

Sean, you've already finished, Juan. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Well, nobody said that. I think Sean's counting. Let's all eat one biscuit in a can of biscuits. And then when the times are picking up a little... All right, Sean, we all eat one biscuit.

I'm gonna sit there and look at this delicious biscuit, and just friggin' think about it. Okay, we're only eating a biscuit. And then at the end of 30 minutes, whoever is eating the most shrimp, that team will win. So, hey, you song, so you're gonna be our timekeeper slash scorekeeper. So you'll be keeping a tally,

as well as giving us warnings when we're at the 30-minute, 20-minute, 10-minute, 5-minute, maybe the 1-minute mark. Use your own judgment. You can figure it out. I'd also like a warning. Where do I want mine? Give me 17, give me 6.

Give me 29. Can we also, hey, you song, can we get like a 10-second countdown? Like our last 10 seconds, like a 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4. I think actually, sometimes people swallow the 2 and the 1, but actually count the 2 and the 1. Jesus.

You even wrote notes on how to say 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The soup is good. Why didn't you get a soup? You're not gonna eat that many shrimp. Yeah, I know, I'm gonna get 4. Why do I have to finish this biscuit? Yeah, sorry, I'm only finishing my biscuit. Oh, yeah.

But it'll be close. It's gonna be close, because I'm not actually doing the contest. What do you mean you're not doing the contest? Yeah, I just don't feel that good. And eating contest don't make sense to me. But you're eating some shrimp. But you're eating shrimp.

I'm just casually having a meal. So, let's see how many you can eat. Yeah, we'll find out what it is. Are you gonna try to eat shrimp? Yeah, it'll be exactly as many as I want. Which will probably be as many as Weigher, who's looks full already. I like it.

He's holding his belly. I don't have clam chowder all that often. Why did you get the clam chowder? Oh, well, that's not gonna fill him up, then, if he hasn't had it before. I usually like it with a little Tabasco. I wish there was some hot sauce here. But nothing that they, you know,

why would they anticipate me wanting hot sauce with this? Should we eat our salad, too? Yeah, have the salad. I mean, you certainly aren't gonna make me do it. How about this? The salad slash soup counts for an app point, which is also where three shrimp. What? That's so stupid.

What? No. Before the thing starts? Yeah. If you finish it with one more thing, it counts for two shrimp. Two shrimp? You're saying this app way into your clam chowder.

Yeah. If you finish it, you get a bonus of two shrimp. Every bite? No, not every bite, the whole thing. It's just, it's not much of a difference. What the hell is the difference? It's psycho. Wait, what's the difference between every bite

and the whole thing? Nick thought you were asking if every bite counted for two. That's what it meant. Every individual bite. So he uses like every single thing in the salad? I think if you, I mean, we can use, we can use our own judgment in terms of whether a salad, we'll defer to you song whether a salad is finished or not.

We'll be using my judgment. I don't like the dressing. You song you got the day off, though. So there's what else is going on. What do you mean? You know, in your world, Hollywood Handbook's going great. You guys said your, was it your 200th episode you had recently? The little while back.

I listened to it. Very, very funny. Well, thanks, man. We had a big fight because Sean wanted to have just Mitch on our 200th episode. That's pretty funny. I was like, you know, let's, let's do something else. He was like, it's a special episode.

Can we do something special, something big? And I was like, well, I think it's funny that like, it's kind of shitty and we just have Mitch. That feels, he wanted to talk about dough boys the entire time. And he was like, well, I'm proud of this. We've like achieved something. We've done 200 episodes. Like it's, let's not treat it like it's so stupid

that we only talk about someone else's podcast for the entire whatever we did was stupid. Do I barely remember it? Well, we did it with no guest. Yeah, you know, no good. Where was I? I don't know the Massachusetts or something. No, you went to Catalina.

Oh, that's right. That was a different thing. That was that they tried to book both of us. I ended up coming on solo. You're in Catalina. Only you were available, I think. It was you were here and then we just didn't do it because Hayes was like, I can't.

It's, I can't respect myself. Did I do it? And I just didn't even notice, I guess. No. Like many other things it just sort of drifted by you. All right, so hold on a second. Yeah. We've got Hayes, are you sure you're done, Neutron?

You still says that's done. Okay, all right. And that's two. That's bullshit. I ate all my lettuce. I don't want the tomatoes. You got some cherry tomatoes. I mean, I'll, I'll the first of you some.

I know, but I'm just saying there's a lot of stuff left of that salad. Yeah, you have three quarters of a biscuit. Well, I'm not counting the biscuit yet. Now seeing how genius your song is, gives me an idea. When you sing, am I done? You're pretty close. I mean, pretty close.

Yeah, two more bites. Your song, take a look at this. There's only a little soup bowl. That's gotta, that's gotta qualify, right? Don't drink your clam chowder. I wasn't gonna do it. So I have six points. It sucks to listen to people eat the whole time.

Like that's why you guys don't normally do it this way. Trim is a nice sound. The eating of shrimp is the one thing that sounds really good. Yeah, that's true. Hey, she seemed larger today. I'm sitting on my foot. That's what it is. Yeah, but you seem like a giant man.

I just gotta know you're tall drink of water. It's a little bit like, like. I have a few different weird sits. You seem like you're like 69 right now. The shrimp pop is about to begin. I gotta finish this salad. Wait, does it not count if I don't finish it before the shrimp? Um, yeah.

What? It doesn't count. That was the rule ahead of time. That's true. Are you still here? I finished the biscuit too. Okay. All right, looks like our food is arriving.

This is very exciting. Okay. Got the Mediterranean hot. You got that in the center of the hot. Oh my God, don't, don't, don't. Let's take the salad. We're not gonna put my plate down for two seconds. I need to finish it.

Stop on a dump? Mm-hmm. Okay. I need to finish my salad. Who's got the skewers in the Mediterranean? That looks good, but that's heavy. That is mine. Just kidding.

Thank you. That's okay. It's a comedy podcast. She's just playing around. We've got the coconut and the Nashville hot for you. For the truth. Oh man, you got that snorkel. Wow.

Good boat. Mm-hmm. And then some for for the two. Do this one. How's this? That finished? I thought you got to give them that one. It's not good.

There you go. You only left one tomato. All right, I did. I got the bonus salad point. Did you eat a shrimp already? No. It's asparagus. Okay.

Wow, looks like the coconut shrimp guys were pretty smart because they were tiny. Yeah, those are small. Before we set the clock, do y'all want to put in your refills already? Can I get some more water, please? Yeah, sure. Um, I'll get the grilled garlic shrimp.

The skewers? Yeah. The skewer. What is this? Wait, what is this bad boy that Mitch got over here? That is the hand breaded in the coconuts. The hand breaded in the coconut. All right, you know what?

I'll do the hand breaded. Sure. All right, I'll do the hot shrimp. I even though I made fun, I have to eat a hot shrimp before I know. Yeah. Can I do the skewers again? The skewers you want to do the Mediterranean

or just the garlic ones, please? All right, Jim's here. He says you guys can pick two at a time. Y'all want to pick another little warm room here? Oh, wow. Okay. All right. Wait, hold on.

These are the hot? That's the Nashville hot. I'm going to take a chance and say that these are going to be, because I'm a heat seeker. I'm going to say I'm going to want another serving of these hot boys. I'm going to do another serving of the coconut shrimp. Can I ask you a question?

Sure. Is all the same shrimp? All the same kind of shrimp? So we have the shrimp linguini. No, I mean like. No, that's a little smaller shrimps. Oh, okay. Okay.

Only those are smaller. And then we have the scampi, which is the one that's in the garlic butter. Right. Yeah. Which is the, which is the. Is that what he got over there? Okay.

And I got another question for you. The coconut shrimp have no tails, correct? The coconut shrimp has no tails. Okay, all right. Do you have to eat the tails? Yeah. No, I'm not eating the tails. Yeah, but he wants a lump in his mouth and crunch it.

Yeah. Okay. You don't want to worry about it. Got it. What about the Nashville hot one? Those do have tails. Those ones, yes. I'll get my same order again.

So we want the Mediterranean. I know you want another skewer. The Mediterranean. Yeah, I'll take the, for my second round, I'll take the Mediterranean and the garlic. And the garlic skewer. And then your other choice. I'll wait.

Okay, gotcha. Are we setting the clock for that, guys? Thank you. Thanks, Angel. Thank you. All right, so now we have each had a, we've got, oh, it's each gotten a bonus biscuit. Should we count how many shrimp we have?

Who is going to count these? I think YouSong is going to be in charge of the ultimate, of the ultimate tally. Who's going to count everyone eating shrimp at once? I think what we can do is we can kind of have it, we can look, I think we're here, we're adults, we can operate as much as possible in the honor system. I have 20 on my plate.

When you finish the shrimp, you can say, why don't we just do like a done sort of thing? Or you can, or maybe if you just leave your tails on your plate, and YouSong can kind of- But I don't have tails for the coconuts. Fuck. Just, I'll just count the coconuts. Yeah, why don't you just count them as you can put 27 on my plate?

No, that doesn't count as much. Why don't we just here, why don't we just vocalize, how much, when we've eaten one- You have 27 on your whole plate? Yeah. Okay, I have 20 on mine. Did you just count those like just in your head, or did you take a second to count them while we were talking?

I took a second to count them in. Okay, all right. So I think, here's what we do. Why don't we, when we eat one, because this will also make it- I shit a lot. This will also make it listen. I should've put-

I don't know, I'm like Rain Man. Listeners. I have 36 on my plate. Why don't we, when we, when we eat one, why don't we just call out like one? Okay. And we eat another one. This is gonna be, this is gonna be such a close.

Hey, that's a bad thing to listen to. I have 20. I mean, I'm not gonna call in numbers, I'm just gonna eat my 20. I mean, I might be thrilling. Yeah, I'm gonna count them out. I'm gonna verbally count them out. Okay, that's what my whole plate might be.

I'll be my choice. As part of the honor system, I didn't count this as a shrimp. That's good. I didn't count them, but it was a very small shrimp. Oh, just like a lion. Okay, I don't know. All right.

Hey, Yusung, do you have the clock ready to go? All right, why don't we- We each got the appetizer bonus, and we each did a biscuit. Right. So two more biscuits for, if you want, if you want, though. Got it, okay.

Hey, you know what? General Manager Jeff is here. Jeff, you wanna give us an official, start your engines countdown? Three, two, one, go. Thanks, Joe. He would be much better on a podcast than we are. His voice is better.

Oh, great voice. Three pipes from ours are all bad. One. God, wires. Don't be yellow. Okay, that's two for me. Two. Yusung, I tell you I wanna have 10.

So we don't have to squeeze the- Well, I'm not gonna say my strategy. Here's what I'd say. These are Nashville hot. They do got a little hot to them. A little bit spicy. Yeah, that's okay. I'm son of a heat seeker.

I've eaten a bunch of the coconut one. What are they doing? And I like them. Let me try a Nashville hot. Three. Now that General Manager Jeff has gone, something about Red Lobster I learned today, is that Lobster Fest is like six months long.

It's very long, yeah. And the trip goes on for a while, too. It's not very special. Well, I mean, I guess you know. That's so long. Look, this isn't branded condense, so we can be completely candid after. Yeah.

They're being very candid. I hope you didn't listen to my other one where I said I didn't like this restaurant. These on 10. Well, I got this pretty good. Do we have 10? This Nashville hot one, the honey, not for me.

It's a little sweet. It's too sweet. Okay. Four. They do have a nice Christmas to them, though. We shouldn't allow coconut shrimp if I'm gonna- I'm killing you guys. Maybe that's the right strategy.

I will say I'm already getting pretty full. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm gonna dip mine in my water. Oh, that's like a- Oh, that's like a- Let's take a better picture. To get together. To get together.

To get together. To get together. To get together. To get together. To get together. To get together. Because what I thought about this whole premise is that we were eating cocktail shrimp.

Well, they occurred then you were like- Now I've basically made cocktail shrimp at the table. And you're really watering the chain restaurant. That's drinkable. I'm gonna get a new water. Like, Red Lobster's not famous for their cocktail shrimp. They're famous for all the crazy shit they put on there. Right.

Five. So I think it's more in keeping with Doe Boys to show all these weird ones. And it's not an option. It's not available. I just- I want to honor the show. Sorry.

You shouldn't have gotten the Mediterranean shrimp. Look at the water. So what? I'm getting a new water. Water's starting to look like a- Like a bloody Mary over there. You want a new water? Can I have a new water glass?

Because I need to keep this one? Yeah, he's being gross. Thank you. Just got a weird eating habit. Thank you. Dude, that's- You try to lie and say that he- That's what he does with his shrimp.

Drips them in water. He's doing an eating competition. I'm sorry I brought my freak friend. So, how tall are you, Hayes? I'm about 6'3". Wow. I'm like 6'1", but you seem much taller than me. It is the way I sit.

It's odd. My posture's bad, too. So I think I can't throw it out by sitting. He's got a bunch of sitting styles that he's been trying out. Six. I've got 15. I'm 6'1", as well.

How tall are you, Mitch? I'm 6'3". Okay. What a cool pairing. Yeah. We really aren't natural rivals. Yeah. Yeah, all right.

I mean, we definitely outweigh you guys. What? I don't mean that. I think even two of us combined, definitely. All right, sir. I didn't know if you wanted with or without some ice, but you know what I brought with us. Oh, wow, that's great.

There you go. There's so much water. I'll take- I'll half and half, please. Hayes, you're- What you're doing is working because I'm seeing your water and I don't want to eat it.

That's right. It's- It's kind of turned into- I'm just taking a few calories off my shrimp. It kind of looks like tattooing milk. It's kind of like a weird coloration of it now. Are we okay over here? We're doing great.

This is fantastic. Very great. Thank you. Isn't tattooing milk blue? Oh, I guess it's the app. I mean, you know what's the color of his shirt is kind of bleeding through into it. Oh, you know.

You guys are all- Are we eating breaded shrimp? Mine is not breaded. Oh, so we're extra- Extra- extra- Thank you so much. I want to come extra- Now, Kim, um-

Thank you. The other one, like, has put in some more orders before. I mean, I did put in the two. I think that's going to tide us over for a while, unless you guys are really cranking. I think it's going to take me a little time to work through these. Okay, gotcha.

Yeah, I'm almost done with my first order. Thank you, Angel. I'm almost done with my first order. Son, are you going to make a- Are you going to make a biscuit shrimp sandwich? Oh, my God. Imagine the points. The points per bite are insane.

I wanted the napkin to wipe the honey off my shrimp. Yeah, I don't have- I was hoping that wouldn't come up in the rules as altering the shrimp. Mm-hmm. Hey, you son? Can we get a ruling? What was the shrimp value if you eat a napkin?

It should be, like, one and a half shrimp. One and a half shrimp. One and a half shrimp, okay. So probably not the best strategy. Not worth it. Yeah, not worth it. I don't know, is it easy to eat napkins? We also have two different kinds.

I could def eat one. We have paper napkins on the table, and we also have cloth napkins. Hey. The cloth napkins, I think, should be too shrimp. I've had 20. This is number 20. Buzon, this is another 10.

How about 20? I'm now at 20 as well. Okay, great. Hey, you know what? You son, I called out eight. I actually only had seven. I'm sorry. What the fuck is wrong with you?

I lost count. What are you, child? Why can't you do this? And I'm rounding the bend on my plate. Checking the best. All right, that's eight. The fried shrimp are definitely heavier. I mean, that was a strategic error on my part,

especially the honey sauce, like you're saying. The sweetness, more than the heat, the sweetness starts to get to you after you have a bunch of these. But I'm trying to take the bread out of my shrimp. I can order another order of these, too. That was a miscalculation of my part. Yeah. I'm doing a biscuit right now, which is worth three shrimps.

Oh, you are, too. Oh, my God. I'm gonna have some water. Why are you losing for us? Second biscuit down. Hazel's good. I have 29 points. You saw I finished my plate, so I have eaten 27 shrimp.

Wait, what? How'd you do that? Yeah, he did it. Why are you eating it? He's not even playing. He's not even in the competition. He's just enjoying a nice meal. I'm up to nine.

But two, with one of my best friends, Haz, and two guys, I don't see that on. They have all double doom, plus some. We have all double doom. You know what part of the issue is? Because we're in jocktoberfest. You guys are both classic jocks. I know you play tennis for a time.

That's right. Classic jocks. Haz, were you ever an athlete? I played Jamie baseball. Wow, okay. And I played second because the ball didn't get hit there that much. Right.

But I couldn't figure out how to do the throw from second to first. Because it's not a full, you can't just like do a full throw to first. It's too fast. Right. And like the shovel, like, you know, I couldn't really get the shovel right either.

So I would constantly, I had the yips. You remember Chuck? Oh, yeah. Oh, the yips. Yeah. I don't know about. I got a question for you. Michael Foltz has a free throw line right now.

Oh, yeah. New form. Does Richard Linklater, is he right about baseball? Is it everything he eats? Is it the chicks? Everything he makes it seem like it is on the movies. That movie, and everybody wants them. That movie was promoted as like,

now like Linklater did the 70s and became confused. Now it's the 80s, but it's like two months after the first one takes place. Oh, really? It's like the same, they all look like it's the 70s. Yeah. It's like, totally indistinguishable. It's like the people that graduated and days

are confused went to college. Here's what I love about that movie. It's the same year. This is like a cool thing about that movie to me. Days and confused? No, everybody wants them. 12. At the end, the guy who is like built up

is like the best athlete, but a total asshole. Why'd they finish it? Yeah, showdown. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, my dear, you two all the same place.

You were in this. Oh, great. Thank you. Thanks for hanging in. These are just going right on here. We got the coconut for you. Thank you. You're so welcome.

We got the Nashville. Thank you. Another Nashville. That's me. Thank you. And we got the hand bread in. Hand bread, all those are mine. Thank you.

And a regular spoon for you. Okay, thanks. All right, am I putting in more tonight? I'll take another garlic skewer. The skewer? Sure. Thank you. This is going to take me some time to work through, I think.

Me too. I'll take one more garlic skewer. Two skewers? I'll do another Coke. And another coconut? No, another Coca-Cola, so. Oh, another Coca-Cola. Something that earns him no points.

They'll take point-free calories, please. Guys, I want to put this out there. The winner of the shrimp off gets to decide whether the other podcast wants to end. Sorry, it's just going to drive people crazy if they don't hear the end of my Everybody Want Some statement. Oh yeah, yes, please, go ahead. Which is that, I think the name is Reynolds or McReynolds

or something. It's based up against the guy who's the hero of the movie who we're all supposed to like. And he just fucking shells it. Like, the guy who they are like, this is the best athlete, just is the best athlete and he wins, even though he's a dickhead. I love that. And I go like, yeah, this never happens in movies.

I think that's in real life. Yeah, that's good. Like, I was watching the Patriots game a couple weeks ago and I was like, oh, McCown must feel like when they were playing the Jets and the Jets were like beating them, he must be like, God, I'm not that good. My career is not very good. But I'm going to look back on this day that I beat Tom Brady

in the game of my life. But then he just fell apart and he lost. And I was like, yeah, this is what really happens. That was drama time, that story, I ate seven shrimp. What the hell? How are you eating? What the hell is going on here? Wager, do you have 10 yet?

I'm up to 14. Oh my god. Man, three. What do you guys think of boyhood? What? Four. You have my second role, right? And then also, you have 20 shrimp from me right now?

Make it 30. Am I wearing link later 10? What do we think of boyhood? I'm on 32 shrimp. You said link later 10. Just killed my five. We did all this movies in Austin. Isn't that boyhood?

Wasn't it a link later? So I'll tell you a minute. I thought you meant water. You just mean link later. We're in conversational link later. You thought I'm stealing water. I meant Wager's hand. But that was also said in Austin.

That was in Austin. Wait, okay, so hey, you saw me in the morning. Oh, thanks, you saw me. Hey, I want to, wait, so let me have 10 minutes? Yeah. This feels interputable. We're not even going to get close to the full hour. We're going to stop.

Yeah. Hey, you saw me. I had 30 shrimp, you saw me. I wanted to ask a question. I've got 33. So hey, so Sean ate off of my plate. Does that count as like, does that want one for me? Or does that count for him?

It's a own goal? No, that's one for Sean. Thank you, Sean. It's obvious. It's one for Sean, but I have to issue a warning. This is your own plate. Okay. All right, you saw me as giving us a warning.

Wow, is Sean, so openly defined of the rules, but then you saw me put him in his place. Ooh, you really were a biscuit and all you saw and there were shrimp tails. You saw me like to try for my third biscuit bonus. Too bad I was hoarding a fish. Biscuit over here.

Wow. And it's going to be my biscuit bonus. Oh, wow. She can easily probably bring us more biscuits, I guess. Okay, here's a question. Because the biscuits are- You want the biscuit? Yeah.

Okay, fine. A real change of dominance here. From you, Sean, to Sean, to Mitch. I'm at 15 now. Mitch just got dunked on. 15. Okay. Stop.

You can't count, oh, whatever. Wait, but what? You suck as a teammate. I thought Boy Ham was set in Austin. It was. It is. Yeah, it was. I got confused because you said we're in Linklater town,

which I assumed you meant like the Valley or- I know the discussion. The discussion of Linklater town. That's called Thomas Anderson. Yeah, right. Stomping ground. Yeah, that's why I was confused. Yeah.

That's the- I knew like the right about tour. The dreaded Taylor or whatever that movie's called. The Phantom Thread? Yes. Yeah, I'm going to see it right away. It's going to be fucking awesome. Something's about to take place in the Valley.

The Phantom Thread? So I'm just sitting here, Yusam, and I'm not allowed to eat off. Like these guys, Team Build Boys has so many shrimp on their plate. I'm not allowed to just reach over and eat off their plate. I'm being punished right now. It's a time game.

Give me some of their shrimp. I think that's clear. I think he's right. Okay, because of the time, I think there's an executive decision that needs to be made. 17. People can eat off of next plate. Wait, wait, wait.

Next plate. Just my plate. It has all the shrimp on it. That was a freaking turtle slope-o. How about, can we say if you eat off of my plate, I get a half point? Because it comes from my stash? Because I can't make half a tally mark without distinguishing it.

Look at how many shrimp he has. He has his whole meat. I haven't tested my Mediterranean yet. I got very full. So I have 31 now. Yusam, 10 more. 32. Which is 40 for me.

33. We should have made this like a 10-minute timer. Yusam, I have 33 shrimp. I have three biscuit bonuses and I have my appetizer bonus. Let's just make sure we know that. 34, Yusam. 35. I was worried that 30 minutes would be too short,

but it's not feeling like 30 minutes is too long. Shut up. You're ruining this. You suck at the game. 36. 36. I've been... Here, I'm gonna... I'm gonna switch to broccoli for a second.

Do the sides count for anything? If I eat my asparagus, does that count? I have 40. Okay. 37. 38. Do the sides count for anything? 39.

They do. Okay, so I'll just eat my asparagus. Yeah, okay. Not individual asparagus, the whole side. I know. Okay. Okay, I'm just gonna work on my broccoli for a little bit. Are you at 40 now?

Yes. God, why are you... Oh, I'm sorry, I put my Coke right in front of the recorder. Oh, yeah, thanks. Sean, did you take down that biscuit bonus? Oh, yeah. You did all three. I've got three biscuit bonuses.

Look at them working together. He's done three biscuits. How many biscuits do we have? I had a biscuit. We all did. I had two biscuits. I had two biscuits, too. I'm just going to be very full.

Yeah, I know, you ate it. Clam chowder. That was probably a miscalculation. This is real... I mean, this broccoli is good. What's wrong with you, fool? Okay. I can't tell if you're like a little child or an old man.

Did you order more chowder? Oh, I got some peel off under here. I did, yes. But I don't think I have enough coming. I think I just have one more skewer. I don't think I order five. Oh, yeah, I think I only order one more skewer or two. Hey, you saw me, I got this peel off underneath this Mediterranean.

Is that for you when I gotta say punch or what? Do I get a side bonus? That doesn't count as one. You know what? Mario Party has a comeback mechanic. How about the peel off is worth five shrimp? Oh, shit. Okay.

What? What? I'm going to power through the peel off. Oh, wow. It's like a... What? You saw... What?

A shell or something. Yeah, it's like a blue shell. It's a weird thing. What was it? What's the Mario Party a cool one? They're the ghosts you could use to steal someone's star, right? All the peel off? You need to have 41 shrimp, by the way, now.

All right, so if I finish this peel off, it counts as five shrimp. Here's the thing, I'm not convinced I can finish this peel off. I'm pretty failed. I have like three times as much peel off as this guy. Look how much peel off. That's the rule, you heard the rules. I'm going to try. How many points is this for a peel off?

I'm going to try one of these Mediterranean shrimp. Yeah, I'm going to know who they are. I haven't touched them yet. Two orders. Two orders of peel off, which is 10 shrimp. 10 shrimp? Yes. This is at least twice as much peel off.

What the fuck? This is worth two shrimp. Two shrimp? Do you mean two peel off? I just wanted to give Nick a fighting chance, but you know what, this does seem really unfair. Yeah, you song. If you finish the two peel offs, it's 10 shrimp.

Okay, good. So we have an open admission of bias. So that's a file to the commissioner's office. No matter what happens. I ate two more shrimp. You're doing so bad that you started trying to help y'all and then it held Taze out. I think I'm going to take a break with this peel off.

You're not going to finish the peel off, finish the fucking peel off. I'm going to wait and see if I need the peel off. I'm just going to break full. I'm going to move over to the broccoli for a little bit. I think I can get through this. The hot shrimp is too hot for me. The next hot?

It's not a good investment. Mitch, I should take a picture of your face right now and post it and just be like, when they can't finish the peel off. Wait, how many do you have, Mitch? I'm, this is about to be my 43rd. 43rd. Wow.

This keeps me at pace with Mitch. Guess what I got you guys? What's up? Some more bonus biscuits. Oh, yeah. Yay, bonus biscuits. Thank you. I'm hitting my max bonus.

And then I put in an extra skewer for you guys, okay? Oh, great. Oh, all right. Yay. All right, get up so we have it. The scampi? You guys haven't had any of the scampi? Is that?

You're saying I ate one more shrimp? Yeah, give us a scampi. We'll take a scampi. Can we do one more of these? Of the skewer? Yes. You're saying I have 43 shrimp. Should I do a scampi?

Can I get the Nashville hot shrimp with no honey? And the hot with no honey, sure. Can I do, I'll do a skewer as well. The skewer, okay. No, two skewers. Two skewers? Yep. All right, anything else?

Should I put in two scampis? Yeah, give us two scampis. Why not? All right, gotcha. Thank you. Thank you. All right, I'm up to 18. One.

I like that by winning this competition, I'm also costing you guys money. Two. Okay, this is 48. Fuck, why are you... I mean, these are really... Like, I'm enjoying eating these shrimp. I'm just like getting like pretty full.

Are you eating your mashed potatoes? He's saying that because... Yeah. General manager's here. I'm saying this, I know, I'm saying... He's hoping to be compensated. That's not true. I'm saying my honest opinion on the food.

Okay, you're serving up for me. Don't voice scampi. I'm finishing another tray of mashed potatoes. See that on my mashed potatoes. Let's run and try them. They're pretty good. So that should put me at what, Yusong? 41.

41, okay. Hey, Yusong, 41. This is where it started at 53. That's a big baseball number. Some 41, baby. I don't know that much about baseball. Well, the World Series tonight, and we're here instead. I didn't play for your second base.

Do you guys want to know who one game won? Do you want me to look it up? Or do you have a DVR? I listened to it. Okay, do you know who won? Mm-hmm. Who won? The Dodgers won.

Hey, okay. It was a good game. You won one of the best pitching performances in the World Series history by Clayton Kershaw. You know, I worked with them one day. A delightful man. Yeah. Lovely, lovely guy.

Should I have a video for his charity? Well, it was a branded content. Oh, Yusong, I finished my asparagus thing. It was a video for his charity. So I guess it was branded content, but I think it was also something that no one got any money for. Yeah.

But he was a lovely man. Just one of those nice sides. He's just so nice. I was my side. I hate all of them. Good for him. I'm happy. I don't follow his fault, but good for him.

I finished all my asparagus, and Yusong was like, I don't know if that counts. And it's like, go ahead and count it. He's biting back at Yusong. Wait, Yusong. This is a nice count as. Just go down. Been at one side.

That's all. We all get one side. You know what, Yusong? I took a bite of a shrimp, but I spit it out because I don't think it was deveined. So that's a negative one. Yeah. And that one doesn't count.

He's now attempting to pull Mindhunter back. It's giving me a negative sensory experience and getting me to give in. I'm sorry, Nick. Your little Mindhunter game won't work with me. Yusong, this is a test for you. I know how many shrimp I have, but you tell me. You eat 50 shrimp.

That's right. Yusong, how many shrimp do I have? I haven't seen Mindhunter yet. Is it worth it? Uh, I am about to finish it. Hold on. Uh, I've done, actually, I'm, I don't think I like it. I think I'm 43.

I didn't like the main guy. Oh, god. I have to second up. Hays are pretty good. Hays jump the head, and I don't like these spicy shrimp. And then during the third episode, I was like, I really like this. But does it, when you say you didn't like the main guy,

are you having a Mindhunter conversation? When you say you didn't like the main guy, do you mean you didn't like the actor, or you didn't like the character? I didn't like even the idea that there's sort of a razor thin margin between yourself and Primrosee. Wow, I've had my bonus biscuits. I thought, um, the actor was miscast or something,

but then he just grew on me. Yusong's already got his best guy. Liger. All right, so this will be 19. If this one has been deveined. It's, stop looking. Well, I want to make sure, because it's, I mean, it's gross to eat a shrimp that has it.

Yes, I know, but there was one mistake. Well, I'm not holding it against him. I mean, there's many shrimp, some things are going to happen, but the snowman killer is completely insane. You guys see the snowman? No, I didn't, I went for a sit-up. The snowman killer is completely insane. Good luck trying to get inside that guy's head.

I mean, the choices he's making are just totally empathetic. I saw that he was the head of a snowman on a human, and vice versa, I feel like. Oh yeah, I mean, that's just the tip of the iceberg. All right, 19. 44, Yusong. I finished my third bonus, but I want to ruin it, but I did see it.

Yeah. It's good. There's still many killers completely insane. He's not as much. I've made it, honestly, the choices he made. Yeah, I just can't get on board for him. They don't make any sense to me. Right.

Yeah. No, he's completely insane. I mean, do you have an example? Nick, eat your food. Stop, he's tricking you. Of the snowman killer? Yeah, like, just like if it's something that's- I mean, even some of what Mitch was talking about,

some of the crazy shit he does. Oh, God, okay. Nick, he hasn't seen a movie. But in a, honestly, I've seen it. You saw the snowman, it's not called the snowman killer. Huh? It's called the snowman. The snowman killer's completely insane.

No, I've seen it. It's not called the snowman killer. Yeah, based on the Jonas Boat Novel. Called the snowman. Following Detective Harry Holt. Harry Holt. Martin Scorsese produced. Yeah, he was supposed to direct it,

but he dropped out in 2014. Got Thomas Alfredson on. Boy, a different picture. That's what this is. Carmella's Serfana says. How do you think that would be way to eat? This is going to be 20 if I can eat it. There was-

It was eight up five minutes of official time with snowman conversation. Carmella Serfana, in the episode of the- Serfana's when she's taught, she has the day along with the priest. And the priest is talking about the last temptation of Christ. And it was like, you know, it's originally supposed to be Bobby D in that role.

Referring to the role of Christ. Played by, who's the actor? Willem Dafoe. In Last temptation of Christ. And Carmella says, and it's a thing that's stuck with my head. She says, oh, different picture. It's like, and when I think of that, when I think of like a different casting

showings or a different director, I always think of my head like, different picture. As much as you're saying I know. As much as you're saying it makes the snowman. The interesting fact about that movie that they should have mentioned is didn't- Scorsese trade that movie for Schindler's List? For Schindler's List?

Well, Scorsese was definitely gonna do Schindler's List. Oh, he was gonna do Schindler's List. Oh, I thought you meant the snowman. I thought because I was so confused by the time. I was like, that came out years ago. You saw the 47. Okay, I was confused. Last temptation.

There's something else that we're making. Because he wanted to make it so bad. You're as insane as the snowman. All right, this is gonna be 20. Well, the snowman kills completely insane. I would say that Wager is eccentric. Now, Wager ate a piece of my mashed potatoes without me giving him permission.

Dude, he's helping you. Well, okay, so if I ate some of Mitch's mashed potatoes, but he finishes them, does he still get the side bonus? Because we're on the same team. Yeah. Okay. Man, I don't think I'm gonna finish. You suck.

I've been a little bit steady at what? 41. I know, we're just being punished here. Wager, give me your skewer. Okay, thank you. Look, Wager, why do you give him your skewer? I'm just sitting here. Angel, there you go.

There, of course, Angel's bringing more. He's got a much more right now. Look at this. Can I get one of these blue plates in the center, huh? Oh, boy. Okay. Wow, the scampi. Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna remove some plates up by the way. Yeah, here you go. We got a few scampis with this table already. Oh, yeah, you can take that. Sure, give it to me. Thanks. Mm-hmm. Hey, as if you drink your water,

you've been dipping your shrimp into it. Counts for 20 shares. My water has become sauce. We've got the Nashville of Noah, honey. Yeah, that's me. And we've got skewers here. There's four skewers here. Oh, boy, look at all that.

Thanks so much. You're welcome. Okay. I'm gonna take a little shot of that. And then I put in a hand-read it for you guys. You're so nice. Thank you so much for watching me. All right, what are we doing now, Dad?

How many shrimp did I just eat, you son? Oh, oh, my God. I ate three. Hey, you're so many. How many? What's our time? What's our time at? Um, five minutes, 30 seconds.

Do we, we don't need any more shrimp. I think we're good with shrimp. I think this will take us home. Okay, you're probably right. Yeah, you're right. Five minutes left? Yeah, okay. Pretty much, you're right.

You're right. You're right, never mind. Cancel the coconut. No, it's the last one. Oh, yeah, yeah, get the coconut. I'm gonna do a couple of coconuts just to have like a little dessert. Why?

You haven't eaten any coconut. All right, never mind. Cancel the coconut. Why are you ordering more shrimp? You haven't eaten anything. I thought Shawn wanted them. I'm a mystery. The eight.

I'm trying to beat the dough. Yeah, I think we're good. We're good for now. Angel, thank you so much. You guys got five minutes. You guys got enough cheese into the roll. Oh, boy, I don't know. I would get a lot left here.

All right. Thank you so much. I tried, I tried. I appreciate it. They encourage me. Enjoy again. Thank you. We are.

Man, this is 60. All right, I think my best bet right now is to get to work on my peel off. What? Well, because I don't think I can, I don't know how many more shrimp I can put down, but I think I can take, I can eat the rest of this peel off.

Maybe I'll eat one. 61, my favorite movie directed by Billy Crystal. Oh, that's what I was thinking with baseball. We said 41. Yeah, I meant 61. Holy shit. But I like baseball too. I think that, all right.

I didn't know what you were talking about. Oh, I was thinking of 42. You were thinking of 42. You were thinking of 61. Right. 41 is nothing. What were you thinking with 42? I was thinking of Jackie Robinson.

Oh, yeah, that was 42. Yeah, yeah. Well, also just his uniform. Right, I'd forgotten that was 50. Just talking movies with your mouth over a big pile of shrimp. I think, I think this is a huge clusterfuck. Is that right? Well, you're calling it.

That's what Doughboys is all about. You're trying to count, but you're calling it. This is 62. Wait, the movie? This is 62? Like this is 40. This is 62.

Oh, I can't wait to judge. Oh, God, yes. That's going to be so cool. It's going to be 17 hours long. Two, three, three. I like it. Yeah, I'm going to say to see Maud Apatow. This is great, I think.

I want to see Maud Apatow in two years. It's a natural progression. What the hell are you all doing? We should have to say things that are important. So this is a Nintendo 64. That's an easy one. Hey, Mario Odyssey comes out. This episode, we're recording on a Tuesday.

We'll be on this Thursday. And Mario Odyssey is coming out on this Friday. How about that? Oh, boy, this scamp is really hot. She wasn't kidding. Yeah? Yeah. I'm worried that some of this is going to be fine.

Here's what I was going to say about. Two. Here's what I was going to say about Mario Odyssey. This is going to take us through the last four minutes. Yeah. There's a part of me that's worried that someone is going to say. There's a part of me that's worried that someone

is going to look at some of Mario's costumes and find one problematic. And I'm really worried because Mario is so pure and beautiful. Let me shut up. No, buddy. I don't want anyone to be like, oh, wait, why is he? That Mario is like transphobic or something? Yeah, or why is Mario wearing a sombrero that's

cultural appropriation? And, you know, I mean, hopefully that doesn't happen, but I could see it being an issue of. You were the least fun. Well, now you're giving me an idea. Problematic Mario. No, I'm just going to, I'm going to cause a big stink and get a lot of heat.

Problematic Mario was the idea you thought you were giving him? Yeah, like I was going to say, you thought that he was going to go and write a sketch problematic Mario for the UCB stage or something? Make a vine. I'm at sixty-seven. You're at sixty-seven? Sixty-eight.

Two more, Yusong. Two minutes. I think I'm going to finish after this one right here. Thirty-four, Yusong. Oh my god, there's a shrimp in my mouth. Yusong, I'm going to stop at forty-nine. I'm eating it right now. How many is that for me, Yusong?

And say it right into the mic. Sixty-nine shrimp. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. I was just going to tell you, you know, it's not on table sixty-nine, too. Fifty-four shrimp for me, Yusong.

Wow. Wow. Man, what a party. I'm at forty-nine. Hey, Yusong, I'm very close to finishing my broccoli for my sidebar. Shut up. You've spilled so bad.

I can't believe it. You ate twenty shrimp. You ate twenty shrimp. One minute left. Hey, he has a nice glass of wine left. Hey, you got a glass of fucking white wine. I did it. I got a little soap in your mouth.

Boy, I didn't think I was going to like this, but I did. I'm having some broccoli Yusong. You don't got to write it down. How do you, Yusong? Yeah. I just counted my tells. I only had nineteen shrimp. I didn't have twenty.

I'm sorry. You were being honest. I ate this full chip. And you didn't count the one you spat out, right? I didn't know. That one's in a napkin. I think I've been counting that. Here's a cool trick if we had done just counting the tails.

To get like breaded shrimp, like the hot shrimp, and just break off a piece of the breading, and put it down and pretend it's a tail. Oh, wow. So if anybody wants to do a shrimp off at home with your friends. Yeah, that's a good discount. Are you saying, because this looks like a tail, right? But that's a fifty-five for me, Yusong.

I finished my broccoli. I'm not going to finish my pilaf. I finished my salad, too, Yusong. Thirty, two, one. Justin is applauding. New Zealand's phone alarm is going off. The whole restaurant is applauding. The general manager, Jeff.

Just watching silently at horror. Jeff is confused while we've taken over this private room and his lovely restaurant. I mean, very accommodated. He's imagining who would listen to this. Yeah. Fifty-five shrimp, Yusong. Fifty-five shrimp, three bonus biscuits.

The appetizer, what was it called? The appetizer, bonus appetizer. And I did my side as well. How much does the side count for? How much are you had by 15? It counts as 15 for that. Well, I ate my side. Oh, fuck.

What was your side? My side was mashed potatoes. That was the case. We should have ordered more sides. I'm going to say side count as two. Okay, side count as two. Three shrimps. Two?

Because there could be a game play. Like, I feel like if I finish my broccoli. You didn't even finish the fucking pilaf. No, I got it for me. He's going to give you five. Wait, can people hear Yusong? Can people hear it? Justin, yes?

Can I have a moment to tally everything? All right, Yusong's going to tally everything up. Okay, well, he's doing that. Let's get into what people really want to hear about. Dating. It's tough in LA, you know? And all these apps now, I don't know the difference. The game has changed.

It has, it has. Hey, you know what? I'm just glad the three of us are married. We don't have to worry about that junk anymore. But Sean likes to say something about that wedding ring. Oh, yeah. It burns. Now, I made a promise to my wife actually before I came on here.

That I would talk about Scott Peterson again. And how she kind of got the ball rolling by talking to you about a year ago about how she felt that he was likely innocent. And at least should not have been convicted based on the evidence at trial. Yeah, we're talking at the Red Lobster Restaurant about this. And there was recently a six-part documentary series that laid out all the facts of the case. Now absent from the media fire spread that's around it. And it's very compelling way.

You promise your wife this? The exact same argument. Wow. And she was like, felt really justified that even people that I work with were like, are you watching Scott Peterson thing? I don't think he did it. Wow. And so she was like, you know, can you bring that up on Dill Boys?

Yeah. See what Weigar has to say about that. And did he see the documentary? Does he know about it? Yeah. I don't think Michael Jackson did it. I don't think he did. I heard you say you don't, you think he did it, but you don't think it was wrong.

You think he was so good at it that they liked it. Sorry about that. Do y'all save room for some cheesecake or an apple crostata as a dessert? No, you didn't. You don't have any room. Why are you? I do. I mean, do you just have like a regular cheesecake?

So it's a banana bean cheesecake. We don't have to put the strawberries, but yeah. Yeah, I'll take the banana bean. I'm gonna punch you in the head. We can maybe show you, we'll bring some extra forks. Yeah, we'll make sure. Are you sure? Yeah, you want me to just put the strawberries on the side for anyone who wants them to share?

Yeah, that sounds fantastic. Yeah, thank you so much. Why don't you want strawberries? And also, why are you getting a dessert? I mean, I could use a sweet treat after all that savory stuff. Here's what I would say. Now is maybe not the best time to be discussing allegations against famous people and maybe claiming they are innocent, like just like in our culture.

That's maybe not the time where we should be saying, hey, this famous person accused of this crime. I said Michael Jackson, who's dead and it was many years ago. All right. And I said Scott Peterson was only famous because of the crime. That's true. He's famous because of the crime. All right.

So maybe these are, these are okay. But I think I get it in my James Toback defense. Can we line that up? He's being railroaded. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. You're guilty of being a fucking shitty teammate and sipping on your wine and ordering dessert. It was a fucking mockery.

I'm, I, I hope that you guys, because you guys won. Go ahead. You saw what I was saying, right? I was going to say something. Dustin, do you want to make sure everyone can hear you sign? I know I probably fucked up somewhere, but the final points, it's pretty clear. Hayes had 82 points. Sean had 62 points.

Wait, I itemize every, you know, it's real fun. I don't want to teach you how to do your job, but. You said, by the way, I said he was very excited to meet you guys. He was so wrong about that. Okay. Hayes had 69 shrimp, three biscuit bonuses. One appetizer bonus and one side bonus. Wait, what should I do?

He didn't know it was me. Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, my salad. Does that count? That's an appetizer bonus. Okay. He did not. He did not. He did not.

He did not. He did not. He did not. He did not. He did not. He did not. What you were going to give him 10 points for? I thought you were going to give him a peel off.

He didn't even touch the peel off. He didn't even touch the peel off. Okay. Okay. He had 80 points. Why you didn't finish his peel off? I just want to point out. Yeah, I had about 80 points.

Yes. No one finished their peel off. He had to eat just a little bit more to get five points. You suck. Sean had 49 shrimp, three biscuit bonuses, one appetizer bonus, and one side bonus for a total of 62 points. Mitch had 55 shrimp with three biscuit bonuses, one appetizer bonus, and one side bonus for a total of 68 points.

And Weiger had 19 shrimp with one biscuit bonus, one appetizer bonus, and no side bonus. Oh, that's actually 24. Okay. Jesus Christ. Okay. So the totals for team Hollywood Handbook is 142, and the total for team Doe Boyz is 92.

We didn't get a hug over 150 points. And now we need to make which show end? You didn't have to eat any shrimp. Okay, our show is over. You didn't have to eat one shrimp, Sean. Oh, that's right. We won by more than 49. We won by 50, right?

Yeah. Why do they win by so much? I could have won without eating any shrimp. Those guys were power. He went with you shrimp for shrimp, and he ate all of a sudden. I beat you, and then he had a bunch of... Don't fucking criticize my performance. I'm saying, I know things about you.

You couldn't beat Sean who was sick. But Mitch only beat me by six. How many did he have at the end, 49? I had 62. I had 62 points. Okay. Triple biscuit bonus, appetizer, and side bonus. Yeah, we were just like, we weren't even in it.

Shit. We weren't even... This is the thing, we were up against... No, you weren't in it. We were up against two jocks. We can't take down these jocks. He's playing baseball. He's playing tennis.

What are you doing? If everybody wants some, you know? The end of the day, the guys you would have picked to win are the same guys that showed up and fucking dusted your ass. It's shit, man. I don't like to see it. I love a good underdog story. I was rooting for you.

He called it shot. You fucked up. I did... I was respected. I beat... I beat John. No, yeah. Well, hey, that was a great...

Bragging about beating me. That was a fucking joke to me. Hey, you know what? Why don't we answer a listener email? Just like a restaurant we're going to. That's the end of the great shrimp bop. That's the end of the great shrimp bop. You guys have won.

Congratulations. Here's the people who've walked into this room thinking that it should just be a normal room, which it should be. Yeah, they're confused. What was going on? Angel's brother's cheesecake. Look, this looks lovely.

Thank you so much. Thank you, Wiger. Sorry, Angel. Angel, you were great. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. You know what it was about. Thank you, Angel.

Angel, do you have anything you would like to plug? Maybe then I'm a California native Indian here serving you guys from California. Six generations. Thank you. That's awesome. Well, thank you so much. Of course, yeah.

I'll get these out of your way. You guys won't contain us to take them. Yeah, we might as well get it. No. Get some to your containers. You don't get to eat any more shrimp. Natalie might want it. I don't care.

She's done... Can't tell my wife she can't have these left out. I don't want to see her in the way. She's going to bring up this. Angel's going to bring a little to-go box. She would be so mad at you, too. Natalie, she was done. That was a great shrimp off.

That was a great shrimp off. Congrats. Congrats, guys. Thank you so much for joining us for this. Hey, we got a listener email real quick, just like a restaurant about your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email comes from Sean Darling.

Sean writes, When I was younger, we would meet my dad on his lunch break for Subway. I am never excited to eat Subway, but it's always been there as a quick lunch option. That being said, I truly cannot think of another restaurant that would approach this top slot and most visited. Which restaurant do you think you've eaten at the most?

Sean Hayes? Anything come to mind? Wow. I have a story about Subway, and that might be the place I'm most visited. So when I lived in Connecticut, I worked at a dry cleaner for four years at one point, and the dry cleaner was directly next door to a Subway.

And I knew all the managers there, and I could eat lunch for free there. So I ate Subway for lunch basically every day, like five days a week for four years, and I haven't eaten Subway since. You just stopped? I went through the menu so many that I was inventing new sandwiches.

I was just going like, you know what? I'm going to try the barbecue pork rib. And then I'm like, can you put a different sauce on it? And it just went so nuts that ultimately, I was like, I can't eat anything here. Did you make it through the tuna sub? I ate basically everything that Subway has to offer at some point, and then I just stopped.

And now, a little bit out of protest, a little bit just a sense memory of the four years I spent working at a dry cleaner. And when I walk into a Subway, I'm kind of depressed, so I don't get a sandwich there. Hey, let me ask you about working at a dry cleaner. Okay. Is it like-

And I'm also going to get to go? Yeah, you also get to go. But how do you- And I'm going to get a follow-up as well? Yeah, you get to get a follow-up. How does that work? Like, how do you- How does that-

Did you like actually clean the clothes? That's your question? I'm thinking of a misnomer, because they actually use wet chemicals to clean it. I wasn't somebody who cleaned the clothes. I mostly worked out of the drop shop area where I would be taking in people's orders, tagging them, putting them in doors,

then organizing the clothes when they were finished going through the press and everything. And the most I interacted with clothes is I would sew on buttons, because the presses break buttons and men's shirts very frequently. Oh, man. And so I would have to sew the buttons back in.

I used to work at a dry cleaner, too. Did you really? With Aisha Muher, do you guys know? Yeah. Yeah. You should have her on the show. Yes, she's great. Whoa, where was this?

Harvard. Harvard, I was going to say. Okay, yeah. Student cleaners. Yeah, all right. Were there student dry cleaners there? It was like a student run agency. Boy, I'd be leaving a D.

I worked at Jet Cleaners. No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It wasn't like a free dry cleaner for the students. Oh, okay, okay. It was a student run of business. Oh, I get it, okay. That sounds a little different. Okay, yeah.

The owner of Jet Cleaners texted me this week. Yeah, what about? He saw me on TV, saw me on Curb, and he texted me. Oh, that's cool. And it was exciting. Were you in this last week's episode of Curb? I saw you on Curb, too. I get to watch it.

That's awesome. Yeah, thanks. And also, Liger's favorite restaurant was on. Rustic Canyon. And he said, this is bullshit. Rustic Canyon isn't open for lunch. Yeah, they don't say much. He's upset about it.

Yeah. I think you should relax. They're open for filming. Yeah, they're open for filming, yeah. I would say that I ate at Wendy's the most of any restaurants. I'm going straight to Mitch. Yeah, he said he didn't even get a chance to answer. He said it's dry cleaning strong.

Yeah, but I bet you won't, but you said you didn't get a chance. I'll take that as my follow-up. Okay. I used to, every day after school, I used to, my mom used to take me to the drive-thru McDonalds and I'd get a 20-piece McNuggets. Oh, wow, okay. You ever get the 20-piece?

I didn't even know that was possible. Well, you could get a 50-piece and they would give you a bucket full of nuggets. Yeah, wow. We would eat them and count them and sometimes we'd go boom, go, hey, we only got 46 nuggets. Oh, well, you counted them?

It would be like, fuck yeah. You asshole. Okay, our follow-up question is promised. Did you, what kind of dip and sauce you get with that 20-piece? Oh, God. Just barbecue. Okay. That's what it, we would just come with.

Right. I get the sweet and sour stuff. So, hey, you're the sweet and sour guy. You've had some experience with kind of bite-size eating that we experience here tonight. Oh, wow. So, you think that he's kind of been training for this whole night? Sounds like his whole life.

He's got a little built-in advantage, yeah. You're taking, you're packing up all the food that's on the table. Yeah, I'm taking these biscuits. I mean, these biscuits will be great. What the fuck is this? You didn't, you didn't show up. I have a thing, I don't like wasting food.

So, like, if there's, I don't like, we'll take it to go. It's gonna cost like $400. We'll get you, we'll get, this will get used. This will get you. That's a dust and ball. You're putting your hands in the butter. Yeah, I don't know, I don't have a better way to grab it. A fork.

But anyway, I don't have a clean fork. How does everybody feel? I'll just use this big fork. I feel okay. If you didn't eat a much, you ate, you barely ate, you didn't eat anything. I had more than 20 trip on my plate when the whole thing started, so you ate a serving.

Yeah. I get, I mean, I feel, yeah, I mean, I'm a little full. Yeah. You should be very full. I couldn't finish my pilaf. Here's what, here's the 10. Who's shit? I have an answer for...

And I got this five shrimp. I think I have an answer for that question, that listener email. I think my answer might actually... Be Del Taco. No, I don't know, Del Taco is like, is a, is a good guess. But I think it might be, I was thinking, is it McDonald's?

Well, I don't know if it's McDonald's. I think it might be Carl's Jr. Hardee's. Wow. Because that was a big go-to for my parents growing up, so it went for a lot. And it is some place I'll still go as an adult, so I think just like, in terms of total number of visits, I think that might be the winner.

Either that or I was gonna say my childhood pizza place where we go to Pizza Hut. I mean, a lot of pizza. And you were a porky little boy. I was, I was a, I was a, I was a portly child. Chubby young man. Guys, thank you so much. Congratulations on your victory.

This was good. This was good. I mean... The thing that didn't ask for this will be... Yeah. Satisfied. Another episode. Hey, you know what?

If one comes out every Thursday, we're doing a job. That's really what it comes down to. Hey, it's David Pork. Sean Clements, thank you so much for joining us. Do you have anything you would like to plug at this time? Hollywood Handbook, the podcast. Very, very fun even. Listen to the boys.

Listen to the Hollywood Handbook. Do you have anything? Please listen to the Hollywood Handbook and please do. Follow me on Twitter. I've been writing, I've been writing on great news. That's a fun show. I think you might like great news. Hey, it's great news to hear that.

Okay. You didn't even like that. You didn't even help him. You guys know I write on ghosted, but that's pretty scary. Yeah. It's hard to just recommend to anyone. On a Sunday night, you got scared on your boots. Are we picking up that red one?

Yeah, of course. Sorry. Sean's eating. That's amazing. I haven't eaten anything since we stopped. Sean's eating the strawberry. Sean's eating the fruit. Do you want any more of this?

Do you want any more of this cheesecake? It's pretty good. No. Okay. We see. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at don'tboyspodcast.gmail.com to get the Don't Boys Double, our weekly bonus episode.

Subscribe at patreon.com slash Don't Boys. Hey, big thanks to the Red Lobster Corporation. This is not branded content. We're paying for this meal. We're actually, like, probably know it's not branded content. We're talking about that thing here sometime when the check comes. But here's, yeah, we received the check. We did not get any sort of discount.

But here's what I was going to say. They would be 154 dollars and 77 cents. We're paying for that. We're paying for that. But they were very, very accommodating. They were very helpful. It's Don't Boys Double, buddy. And the Red Lobster here in Canoga Park, California, was great.

And that'll do it for this episode of Don't Boys. Jocktoberfest is over. Jocktoberfest is finally over. It's done. We can wash our hands of it. You ended it on a nice meal where you didn't eat more than you should have. We had a lot of fun. We had a lot of fun here.

You ate, like, 600 calories. Well, look, I got full. But I enjoyed the food that I ate. And you know what? That'll do it for this episode of Don't Boys. Thank you again. Thank you. Oh, and hey.

Thank you, Angel. Thank you, Joe. And did we finish all those biscuits?