Doughboys - The Habit with Emmy Blotnick

Episode Date: February 20, 2020

Emmy Blotnick (The Colbert Show, Conan) joins the boys to try recent Yum! Brands acquisition, the Santa Barbara founded burger chain The Habit Burger Grill. Plus, a fresh new edition of Ch-Ch-Ch-Chips Inhale.Sources for this week's intro:'The Sideways Effect': How A Wine-Obsessed Film Reshaped The Industryhttps://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2017/07/05/535038513/the-sideways-effect-how-a-wine-obsessed-film-reshaped-the-industrySideways (2004) IMDBhttps://www.imdb.com/title/tt0375063/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0The History of Habit Burgerhttps://mentalitch.com/the-history-of-habit-burger/Habit Burger Chain Sold for $375 Millionhttps://www.edhat.com/news/habit-burger-chain-sold-for-375-millionHabit Burger Co-Founder Brent Reichard Savors Best-Taste Honorhttps://www.noozhawk.com/article/the_habit_burger_bestowed_with_best_taste_honorFive things to know about Yum Brands’ newest acquisition, The Habit Burger Grillhttps://www.nrn.com/fast-casual/five-things-know-about-yum-brands-newest-acquisition-habit-burger-grillHabit Burger Grill Websitehttps://www.habitburger.com/about-us/Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

No. If anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am not drinking any fucking Merlot! This line, delivered by high-functioning alcoholic Miles, as portrayed by Paul Giamatti, is from the critically acclaimed 2004 Alexander Payne film Sideways, in which two middle-aged college friends toured the vineyards of Santa Barbara County. The indie hit and its memorable quote had a tangible impact on U.S. wine sales. Miles' distaste for the grape reduced the volume of Merlot sold by about 10 percent, while significantly increasing that of his preferred varietal Pinot Noir. Santa Barbara's wineries are its most well-known contribution to California's culinary culture. Combined with the fermented grape output of NorCal's Napa Valley, it's made the

Golden State a top five wine producer in the world. But Santa Barbara County also produced another notable food industry institution, a charb-roiled burger stand founded in 1969 in the seaside town of Galletta. Serving its signature charb burgers along with real ice cream shakes, the restaurant found a following among SoCal's surfer-dude locals in visiting wine tourists. In 1982, longtime employees, brothers Brent and Bruce Reichard, borrowed money from their mother to purchase the eatery from its original owner and began adding locations throughout the county and the state. By 2020, the charburger purveyor had grown like a Cabernet grapevine into nearly 300 outlets in a dozen states, and it was an enticing enough property that it was metaphorically

gobbled up by chain restaurant Titan Yum Brands for $375 million. Yum, the owner of KFC Pizza Hut in Taco Bell now has its first hamburger brand, growing its triforce of taste into a four-headed Mount Munchmore. So does the Galletta Burgary live up to the high standards set by the wineries of Santa Barbara County? Or after this meal, will we say, to paraphrase Gia Matti, I am not eating any fucking charburgers. This week on Doe Boys, The Habit. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host Joaquin Phoenix, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. It's an honor. That was courtesy of Eric Metsuda, roastspoonmanatgmail.com. If you have an insult, you'll like me using it to the top of the show.

It's an honor. Oscar winner, Joaquin Phoenix. Did you like Joker? I didn't love Joker. I mean, I don't know if I really even liked Joker. What was what? Has today's news Joker-fied you? Are you becoming a Joker? Because of Bernie? No, I mean, yeah, yeah, I know you're a Big Mirror Pete guy. What is it? What is what? What's today's news? They meant the news in general. Oh, oh, oh, oh, like today's specific. Like you're saying, like the news of the current events and so on. Current events. Yes. Yeah, no, I was Joker-fied for a long time ago. I like that parasite one. It was my second favorite movie of the year, but I really loved Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I kind of wish you won Best Picture or Director.

I didn't see many of the Oscar movies, but those are two that I saw and I liked them both a lot. But I'm happy, like a movie that I really like won. I just wish that some of the love was split with Once Upon a Time, because I think it is one of my favorite movies of the last 10 years or something. So it's up there. I love it. There you go. I was happy with Parasite, Nick. I was very happy. Parasite. Parasite's great. Who doesn't like Parasite? I want to give a shout out, Nick. Yes. A listener of ours, Alex Brandy. She's finished her time as a Patriot cheerleader. Oh my God, I can't speak. Wow. She's finished her time as a Patriot. Her tour is over. Her tour is over. Yeah. I think you only get like four years. Wow. So,

yeah, she's wrapped up. Congratulations to her. She listens to the podcast. Oh, how about that? How exciting? Yeah. And here you are. You're over there. You're got a Patriots hat on. You got a Patriot shirt on. A camo, something on. Yeah, I know what the camo hoodie is all about. My mom gave it to me. I think it's because I'm in the Tomorrow War coming, I think this Christmas. All right. Yeah. What? No, it's fine. Plug your movie. I can't plug the movie. You should plug your movie. It's very exciting. Jared, he sent me a little knife today from the movie today. It was sweet. A nice little gift. Jared sent you a knife? Yeah, that's right. Jared sent me a knife. I'll fucking cut you

like Joker if you don't shut the fuck up. Wait, what was the context for it? It was fun working on the movie with you. Was Jared your stunt double? No, Jared. He had pizza with us. That's right. I couldn't remember as well. Jared Shaw. Yeah, he was an actor, right? Yes. Oh, that's very nice. Oh, wow. Now you fucking remember him? I couldn't place. I met like 12 people there at the same one day. I don't remember everyone's names. Knives out situation where this fucking knife gets used to murder someone being you, the someone being you. And then who's done it? Who has done it? I mean, you already, we have your confession already. Oh yeah, that's me. That's all. Oh, also I want to say 30 year anniversary Buster Douglas versus

Mike Tyson today. What a fucking historical landmark. My cat Buster was named after Buster Douglas and Buster. How about that? Do you remember James Buster Douglas boxing for the sake of Genesis? No. I mean, it looked, I never had it, but it always looked cool. So you're reminiscing about a game you didn't have, but looked cool. Yeah, I wanted to play it. This is what? I always wanted to play that game as a kid. I didn't have a Genesis, so I didn't get to you, my friend are a loser. Daydreaming about the games you could have played. Did you play earthworm Jim at all? No, I didn't have a Genesis. Was that on Super Nintendo? Yeah, it was on Super Nintendo.

I just didn't get it. I just didn't get it. How many games did you play? Did you just, did you, did you play any games or did you just think about playing? I just picked up the hobby recently. How's your, how's your six games in a year coming along? I've got a ways to go. I'm trying to, I'm trying to knock out 12, I got a ways to go. Mitch, I'm sure you got a drop and we've got a wonderful guest. Dispunation. Let's play the drop logs. Yo man, you taking a shit in there? That's pretty good. That's good. That's pretty good. Jesus. No peeking. So I'm taking the shit. It sounds like I get that. That's what I inferred.

Yeah. Oh, that's what you inferred. Yeah. From shampoo. The, the, it just says hi. That's all it says is hi. Hi, shampoo. He's just saying hi in the, in the, in the content part of the email. What's happening? What are you doing? I'm turning down the volume. You didn't hear the humming and I heard like a little bit of feedback. Yes. That's what I was doing. Okay. I got it. And you've done this podcast for five years. I was just confused as to what you were doing exactly. Our producer, Emma, gnawing on some tacos while we were recording. Yeah. Sorry. It's my dinner. No, it's all right. I just, I admire the power move. Yeah. Don't let it happen again. They took a really long time to make the tacos. I thought I could eat them before I got here

and then I couldn't. Where'd you get it from? Tacos to Andre on Vermont. Right next to the Los Feliz three, Nick. No, the theater. That's where I saw parasite. Wow. How about that by myself? I'm into, I'm into a solo. You know, we should, I know you are, but that's not good for me. I don't like going solo. No, it's fine. I like putting my arm around a lady or my friend. Our guest is a writer and comedian or mother if she's with me at the movies. Our guest is a writer and comedian. You might know from Colbert show and Conan, her stand-up album, Party Nights is now streaming. Emmy Blotnick is here. Hi, Emmy. Hi. Hello. Hi, Emmy. How are you? Thank you. I'm great. Thank you for sitting through that.

No, it was wonderful. It sounded like you shit an alligator in that clip. Oh man. The splash. Shampooedler. It was an audacious splash. Emmy, you and I have been working together for, effectively the past three months kind of split up a little bit. We worked a little bit in December and then into the new year. We've been working on a pilot. So I've been in a writer's room with you and you're not usually in LA. You're a New Yorker. You're a real New Yorker. I'm a New Yorker. I go back and forth a little bit, but yeah. Like the Joker himself. Oh, sorry if I sounded too Joker-like. I think he is. Isn't Joker a little bit, I mean Gotham City is kind

of New York, right? Yeah. And there's that scene where he buys a slice of pizza and then folds it in half and you're like, I know. Yeah. He's a New Yorker. I saw you do that just days ago. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's my move when I want to play, but LARP is a real life New Yorker. Oh man. LARP is so fun as a verb. I have a question for you. Yes. Who is the bigger partier, Conan or Colbert? Oh, I don't know. That's too much. That's too deep of a question. Who is the bigger partier? Yeah, I know it's aren't famous party animals or family man. I know that's why I'm asking. It's a fun question. Ask me about like Fallon and and Corden or something. Well, fine.

Fine. These are. These are older guys. Fine. Who's the bigger part? You're Fallon or Corden? Oh, I don't. I don't know. She doesn't know them. Why are you mentioning alligators? Did you see the movie Crawl? No. Relax wise. It's not the type of movie you think it is. It's not just like a baby movie. It's not like a baby's day out thing. It's not like a baby's day out. It's the prequel to boss baby. Crawl is like an alligator movie and I thought alligators. I thought they were going to. I thought we're going to have like a gator come back. I thought they were going to be like like I thought some. I thought we'd see some gator stuff. When was crawl? It was this last year. It was great fun horror movie where like gators like there was a big like hurricane and the and the

water came up and then gators started crawling around eating people. I like this line of logic that was like, Hey, you mentioned an alligator. You must love alligator films. I don't know if you have gator on the brain or what? I don't know what the deal is. I my thing with alligators is that I feel like they're just not threatening enough to be a movie. That's insane. I mean, they're scary. Dinosaurs. They're they're they're living dinosaurs. I get it, but I feel like I need something like an anacondas over the same problem is just like it's just a fucking snake. Like I just like I feel like shark is like the level of predator that needs to that will actually frighten me in a movie. So you're saying you're not afraid of gator or anaconda? No, I'm afraid

of those in real life. I'm not afraid of those in the silver screen. Why? Because I don't think they're particularly threatening antagonists. I feel like in an actual scenario, someone would like get a crossbow and just fucking airhole it like that would be it. They've only got like two moves, you know, like a snake bites you, strangles you. That's it. End of repertoire. Right. Yeah. Alligator bites you. End of repertoire. That's the I feel like well, no, they got their death. They got their death twirl. They have the death twirl. They have really strong grips to right like they can like hold on really tight. I'm making this up and very fast. I know they are very, very fast. They are surprisingly fast. What about a big gator? Is that

good enough for you? If it was like a huge gator, well, that was they, what was it? Was it Lake Placid? Yeah, that's a big gator. That works for me because it's like the gator has a reason why it's particularly threatening. I snuck booze into that move with my friend Joe Tormey and we watched Lake Placid together. Did you put your arm around him? And I did. I wish you were my mom. Amy, you are like Mitch. You are from, you know, you don't. Yes, we are one and the same. You're not. I don't like Mitch. Much the same as Mitch. You are from Massachusetts. You're from the Bay State, right? Beantown, baby. Cambridge is where you grew up. Yes. So tell us a little bit about Cambridge and particularly how it has informed your food tastes. Oh, interesting. I do like Mitch

for the record. I'm trying to think. Cambridge, when I was growing up, there was a little bit of a hippie-ish streak. There were some decent pizza places. There was a Chili's where you would go get fingered if you were popular. It's, you know, all your usuals. I got fingered there once. The Cambridge Chili's? They still talk about it. Someone's like some like a fucking varsity quarterbacks like greased up fingers from eating chicken tenders. Jesus fucking penetrating you. God. Graphic wags. So you were at, too much thought put into that. I immediately had a mental picture of what was going on. Oh, you know what? Cambridge food, Mitch, maybe you know about this too. Anna's taqueria. I feel like it's the classic. That's a

classic Boston spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I feel like paved the way. I still think it's better than, like it's far better than Chipotle. Yeah. I would say incomparable to Chipotle. But here's the deal. I've had so, I think I've had Anna's taqueria like twice in my life. I've had it so little because I left Boston and I, and I didn't, I didn't get to really, I went to Ithaca in upstate New York, and then I came out here right afterwards and there was one right where my dad, right where you went to school and where my dad worked basically, but I didn't, I only had it a couple of times. No, that's Maria's. Oh, that's Maria's the one next to the Tam. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. They're very similar. There's another one that's not far from there though,

right? Isn't there one that that's like, there might be an Anna's near there. I think there's one near Fenway. Okay. I don't remember. I always ate Maria's or Beloco. Downtown Crossing is there? Where is the Anna's? Oh yeah, maybe it's in downtown crossing. I don't remember. I don't know. When you guys get hyper, hyper, hyper specific about Boston geography, I'm always like just like, I don't know what the hell's going on. I mean, you shouldn't. Yeah, it's like talking about stuff here. Who gives a shit? It's filler. What is Anna's, the whole show's filler. What is Anna's talkery exactly? Like you said, like, can do Chipotle. You think it's in a better category, but what are you getting there? It's Chipotle with a soul. So you are like, oh,

I love that. So you are like ordering an encounter. They are like making it in front of you. Yeah, but they care and they give you sort of, there's like, yeah, I think they care about it a lot. Oh, how about that? Yeah, I haven't been in a while, right? Yeah. What about also? Were you going to say Mitch? No, I just, I agree with Chipotle. Well, what, you know, I've gotten nicer about Chipotle, but I feel like there's so many bad burrito places like that. It's not surprising. Like the West Coast does have better Mexican food by far. Sure. But I feel like a lot of, like even, I watched by Quedoba, which we were nice about when we had the, when we had the Tournament of Chompians, but I'm not, I got, I have no like urge to go to Quedoba. You know what

I mean? Is it Quedoba or Q-Doba? Q-Doba. Sorry. No, I don't, I honestly don't know. I've been saying it Q-Doba. We did a whole month on it and I said it wrong. You did a Q-Doba month? We, I mean, yes, basically. Q December. This, this, this, this probably has gotten way worse. Oh man. No, we're running on fumes. No, we did not. It's like a mega gator of food and friendship. We did not do a Q-Doba month, but we did do a month where we tasted, we did a bunch of Mexican food and then we also did a, we also reviewed Q-Doba when we were in, no, that was Moes. Wasn't Q-Doba's fucking Moes. That's what we reviewed. Bro, I'm going to get all confused about fucking taco places. This is a fucking mess. Let's, let's change the subject because we're clearly disoriented

here. Seafood is something that New England is known for. Are you much of a seafood eater? Born to eat seafood. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ideally. To be clear, she just pointed out her shirt, which says it says born to eat seafood on it. It's the number two and seafood is the letter C. But yeah, I would like, ideally, I think in a past life, someone was throwing buckets of chum at me and I was just, you know, snatching it out of the air. So what kind of, what are your favorites? I like a raw, I like a tower. A seafood tower is ideal. You like a seafood tower. That's the, it's the sign that your life is going well is when you can have one. And just as, I think the sign your life is not going well is when you have to have an Uber pick you up at an ATM.

Those are the ends of the spectrum. So what do you like? So we're talking about something that might be at the raw bar. What is your, like, what, how do you rank the tiers of the seafood tower? Like, what are your favorites? Easily. I rank them easily. There ought to be a tier of oysters, east coast oysters. I think they're better than west coast oysters. Interesting. There should be some shrimp involved, crab legs of the variety. I mean, crab, if you're in Las Vegas and you're not eating crab legs, it's like, what are you even doing? Okay. I think of Vegas as more of a tower. That's a seafood tower town. I think in New England, there's some, there's more like restraint, I guess, about, I don't, I can't recall. Mitch, have you ever had, have you had a seafood

tower in the Boston area? I have, but honestly, more so, I feel like shrimp cocktail is like so much of what I'll get. I'll get, I'll get like a, like a shrimp cocktail will be first and foremost. And then do you like with your shrimp cocktails? Do you like the cocktail sauce or do you like like an aioli for dipping? I prefer a cocktail sauce. I think I'd go traditional with it. Got it. But open to all dips. Yeah. I do cocktail sauce as well. Maybe some horseradish mix in there. I think that's fun. Oh yeah, that's great. Yeah. But I, the, the, I always, my mom and sister loved oysters. And I mean, like there, of course, there's a seafood so much grown. My mom went to Burke's seafood today, which I told you is a great Quincy seafood place. How fun. Yeah. I don't know

what you got, but you got something there. But it just is such a common thing that you don't, like we have lobster, I feel, and I know that whatever you're going to say, richy, rich or something, but lobster is a lot more. Oh yeah. I'm not going to say that. When you say stuff about me all the time, you're mean to me. I was going to say that I believe in New England that shellfish is a lot less expensive, right? It's like, it's like some of it is expensive, but it's, it's more abundant. It's, because it's there. Yeah. The Atlantic Ocean is of, is, is rich with, yeah. Oh, clams. I like a raw clam in a seafood tower. Sorry. I know we've moved on. I just don't want to forget any, any departments. Let me tell you, I'll drive, I'll drive in Quincy. We'll drive down

to Wallace and Beach. I'll walk into the water. I'll come out with a couple of lobsters for us. In your hands? Yeah. Snap your fingers right off your fucking hand. I'll walk in. I'll come out with a whole seafood platter for you. Whatever you want, Wags. I don't think you can fish. I can do this. There are places on the South Shore. If you go early enough, you can steal clams and eat them yourself. That's a very Boston, a good Boston pastime is stealing clams. Yeah, you got to go really early in the morning, like earlier than the fishers. It's like cow tipping, I guess. Yeah. Mitch, I don't believe that you could steal, that you could get lobsters out of

the Atlantic Ocean, but I do think that you could kneel by a stream and swipe a salmon with your paw. He's saying I'm a bear. Yeah, I'm saying you're a bear man. I want to ask this about, what were you going to say? I'm going to fucking grizzly man you. You're going to maul me and then they're going to play. They're going to pick it up on these microphones. Emma is going to hear the audio and then tell Natalie, you must have a listen to this. Is this horrible? Ow, I'm dying and coming. Back off, buddy. Stop murdering me. I had a question. Now I feel like it left my brain. Oh, you know what? I want to ask this. Lobsters and as someone who likes cold seafood, the food item that I feel like is divisive is

the lobster roll. Hold on a second. Yes. I mean, all right. You don't like hot seafood? I like hot seafood. I mean, hot seafood is just gross sounding. No, I'm saying that Emmy specifically said she likes a seafood tower. You like it chilled. You like it raw. I was going to say, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. I'll brawl dog a tower right now. Do you like the divisive food item I feel like is the lobster roll? Do you like a lobster roll? I love a lobster roll. I didn't know that was a divisive item. I think this is some weird bullshit. What are you talking about? How is it divisive? Here's what here's what happens. A lot of places I feel like use a small quantity of lobster or a cheap product with a lot of filler. So you're

like saying like a bad lobster roll. I'm saying that outside of New England. Lobster rolls outside of New England. Yes, I feel like a lot of people are like lobster rolls. Lobster rolls always a rip off. I feel like I hear that opinion a lot. And yeah, maybe that's exclusive to the rest of the country, but maybe maybe New England has to figure it out. But you like some fucking sounds like this shit was started by lobsters themselves to not get eaten. Is there a rumor they're passing around? Not enough lobster. I feel like, well, I have a thought on this. Yes. As a New Englander, I should like the cold lobster roll, but I kind of like the warm lobster with butter. The Connecticut style. Connecticut style. Yeah, I think they're both good. I like both of them. Yeah. And I think

the idea that they're expensive is because they come in a hot dog bun. And I think people naturally compare it to a hot dog, maybe unconsciously, but it's not like a terrible deal. Picking this stuff out of a lobster takes a lot of work that you don't do. I've definitely had some good ones, but it is like a hit or miss thing and there are some places where it feels like it's a big rip off. Let's talk a little bit. Let's shift away from the ocean. Thank you, Emmy. Let's shift away from the fruit to the sea. I want to talk about Dunkin Donuts, a mass staple. Mitch, obviously, you have a strong allegiance to it. I think it's one of the better fast food breakfasts. I like Dunkin Donuts. Are you talking about this picture of Mayor Pete with the donuts? No,

it wasn't even that. I haven't even seen that. I haven't either. There was a picture of him with much of Dunkin Donuts or something like that. Oh boy. Was he trying to be like a man of the people? Is that the idea? I guess so. I don't know what he was doing, that fucking rat. He was like holding him wrong. He's like trying to put him around his wrist or something. I too love to donut. I don't know why I think of him as being robotic. I'm not even sure that's like a thing people think about him. No, he's kind of an automaton. I mean, I'm much more lifelike than Mayor Pete. Yeah, you're kind of like Bishop from aliens, right? And he's a who's the first one in alien one? I forget. I forget who it is. It's Ian Holm. Ian Holm. What is it? Ian Holm?

Ian Holm? Ian Holm. Ian Holm. It's Ian. It's like, like, Holm without, it's with singular. Yes. Ian Holm. Ian Holm. Ian Holm. Ian Holm. Do you want to say like 10 more times? Anyways, he's like Ian Holm. Right. You are like Bishop. Emmy? God, that's clarified. Would you like to go? Ian Holm. Okay, all right. Thanks for having me. Do you like Dunkin' Donuts? Very much. Yeah? Yeah. What's your go-to there? For donuts or for just the whole menu? Talk me through all of it. Okay, okay, okay. So, I do think the breakfast sandwiches are pretty on point. The English muffins in particular don't leave you feeling too shitty, which is, you know, that's a plus. Right. I got, I was at an

airport early in the morning and they gave me one of the impossible patties on a breakfast sandwich. Wow. No notes. I thought it was great. We try to get the Snoop Dogg one on the road. Yes. Wait, there's a Snoop Dogg Dunkin' Donuts sandwich? It was between two glazed donuts. That's a Luther. That's not a Snoop Dogg. Well, Snoop Dogg is stolen in it. Snoop Dogg's variant, I believe, used the impossible meat. That's why he gave it his name. Oh, okay. Yeah. Luther wouldn't have liked that. No. Yeah. Yeah. It's Luther Vandross, right? Yes. Okay. Yeah. No, he wouldn't have liked that. We didn't, we couldn't get it. I just ended up getting, and I did enjoy it, but I thought that

it tasted a little too, it tasted a little too vegetarian, but also this is a very middle. Where were we? Was that like on the way to Cleveland? I think it was on the way to Detroit. We're in the middle of literally nowhere. That's right. We just needed gas, and they're happy to be a Dunkin' Donuts, I think. Yeah, and it was, and it was, and it was okay, but I want to try it again. Yes, I want to try it in another world, and you know, you've had a long night or something like that. Yes. Oh, I mean, I, and that's a great Dunkin' Donuts, late night Dunkin' Donuts like that. That's a good, that's a good call. Those breakfast sandwiches are all day for me. Yeah. I also, of the Donuts, I like the Bavarian Cream one, and this is something, okay, Nick and I

are working with someone whose husband works for iHOP, and the game I've been playing is, what would you invent at iHOP, given the chance to contribute like a new menu item? Yes. And I think it's cream injections. I think you should be able to inject anything with. I agree with that. That's interesting. That's a great, that's a great thing. Like you can cream inject your waffle or your pancake. Yes, yes, yes. I don't know if it's like you get the syringe or they do it in the back. I haven't decided. What do you, do you have a stance? I think that, I think that it's possibly too dark, but I think that you, having it in a syringe is a lot of fun. I mean, this is, it's tough. It's tough to weigh. You'd have to, you want it not to, not be sharp, because

I feel like kids would want to play around with it. So that'd be an actual needle for God's sake. It should be like a pastry, like a pastry accessory. Yeah. I think they should, they should, yeah, I feel like that's a thing they do in the kitchen, but it would be fun to choose which of your cream filled items you would have. Yes. And I think you could go wild. I think one of them could be nacho cheese easily. And different styles of, different types of items that you could chew, like, like, because French toast, I feel like would be very solid. They already have stuffed French toast. Yeah. Yeah. The French toast is the bet is, they really, iHop has, is they, they really Frankenstein these, these French toast things more than anything else,

I feel like. Can I tell you my issue with stuffed French toast? What's that? I just feel like it's a bad name because every French toast is stuffed because I'm stuffed when I eat it. Ah, fuck it. Ian Holm. Ian Holm. Oh, sorry. Sherlock Holm. It's like attorneys general. They've been saying it wrong all this time. It's Sherlock's home. I, Emma, I think you've helped Boston be once again, which is always embarrassing for me because What did I do? All the Quincy guys can't find a, they can't, they don't think there's a downtown crossing. Wow. That's what I texted them once. I was also looking at the Celtic score. It's behind me. Jalen Brown. It's got hurt. I just heard. Oh no. So that it threw me. Oh,

I like Jalen. It's been a chaotic start. We're not a Celtics fan, but he's my, my favorite, one of my favorite Celtics. Yeah, we got this chaotic star. We couldn't find a plug to start off this, the, to start off the damn show. So here's the thing. I think you, in last week's show and, and Emmy knows a little bit about this because I've mentioned it at work, but we had a little bit, and certainly everyone has heard it by now because this is a week later, but in Seattle, you had some real adversity that you powered through. I wasn't there for the start of the show. You carried it yourself by all accounts. You did a great job. I haven't listened to the episode. I won't, but, but this is like a minor thing in comparison to that. I

feel like you could take the absence of the court a little bit more in stride. What are you talking about? Last week when you weren't here was more, was tougher. So I should be looser now about the court. I feel like the cord like it really put you in your head and we, we Emma very quickly solved it. You found some batteries. She's talking about some batteries. I got some batteries. I got some, what did you do? Your piece of shit? I was here. I found, you were here. I was pitching ideas. I found some batteries. Yeah. So it's, it's fine. The court was not that big of a deal. Where did it go? I don't know where the court is. You took it. You hid it somewhere. Why would I do that? It would be self-destructive. I don't know. I just, there's no explanation for the court to

disappear. I spent a lot of time cleaning up this place. He got mad at me when I gave you all the shit that was yours. Yeah. So I got here and there was just a large pile of like, I'd say trash that you were, that you said that I had to take home. Gifts from people on the road. Okay. Well, it was just kind of in a big pile of laundry. I don't know exactly what it was. It felt like a bitter divorce. All that stuff that's yours. It was just here. Yeah. I'll take, I mean, I'm taking it. I put it in my backpack. I've been cleaning up this place and then to not find the court. It just makes me go, I want a little nutty. Okay. I get it. Yeah. I just, I feel like you got a little bit stressed out. And I was just going to say you've, you've handled worse situations

ably. And I think you're going to be fine here. We're going to get a new court. Yes. We're going to get a new court. I want to switch to another. My friends are saying down by mass general, I guess is is one, but then did you say Herrera's? I guess Herrera's is maybe the one that that I could have been thinking of, but I fucked it up. I have had in this. I've had it once or twice. I know that we believe you. No, you don't. Did I take you to legal seafood? No, you didn't. Oh, that's a classic. What we're talking about legal seafood. I mean, take it away. I mean, you take it away. It's, it's, it's, I mean, like it's a it would be funny if I never I've never been to P. T. Regina. It's just a classic Boston Seafood Place. There's the it's it's good. There's

one in the airport and there's one at Logan so you can go. You can get a bowl of clam chowder before you. There's one in the seaport that has four levels or something. There's three levels where it's a very different menu on each floor. Wow. That's not the that's and there was a there's a test kitchen, but I think that is the test kitchen. Is that that discussion? Okay. No, is this the kind of place you could get a seafood tower or is this like for sure? So they've got just everything. It's got everything and it's like a sit down place. Yeah, we've never, it was on the list of things that we could have reviewed while we were in Boston. Yes. When people were suggesting places, obviously, Pizzeria Regina, we were going to cover because that's that's your favorite, but

we also, we had five floors baby. I love Pizzeria Regina. I'd love to go back, not for the podcast, just to go and have a lovely meal. We go see a Celtics game together afterwards. Put your arm around me. Let me tell you, in those seats, I'd have to, those tiny garden seats, I would have my arm around the entire game. I've never been to that garden. Well, we're in the 300 seats, which is what I would spend on you. We're not getting anything closer than that. Remember, we were there and it was, and it was, you remember who was playing? Wait, what? Oh yeah, this is the, we had, it was Hugh Jackman's live concert. Hugh Jackman's live concert. What?

Gigantic crowd. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what was he, does he, what does he do? He goes up there, he just fucking sings like standards. It's like, it's like what Seth Befarling does. He just goes up there and he croons. People love it. Hugh Jackman's year round Grove Christmas? It's basically what, I think that is kind of what it is. And then he's like, now the wolverine portion, he's like shing, and then he pretends to have claws and dances around the stage. That's a weird diversion. I want to pivot from... Oh, good. No, you don't have to play along. Just pivot.

We exhausted this mediocre riff. We could have had fun. He does the fucking whatever the one where he's an old guy from the 19th century does that one, too. What? What? Oh, wait, hold on. Name one Hugh Jackman song. The one from the 19th. Are you talking about... There's a movie called, it's not Jack and Diane, but it's something like Jack and Diane. Is the song not Jack and Diane? What the hell are you talking about? There's a movie where he plays a guy from the 19th century or the 18th century gets transported to modern times and everyone is amazed by how chivalrous he is. Are you thinking of Brendan Fraser? It might be Brendan Fraser.

You're thinking Encino Man? No, Encino Man's not from the Victorian era. Encino Man's from the caveman days. Oh, yeah. Is it Blast from the Past? I'm going to look this up. I'm convinced there's a Hugh Jackman movie where he plays a man from a different time. Oh, wait, Kate and Leopold? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You were actually not far off with Jack and Diane, but it's so funny to be like, you know the song from Jack and Diane, Kate and Leopold. Isn't that how the movie ends, right? One's from now. The other's from old. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Oh, boy. Another wonderful Hugh Jackman concert.

And they were all very excited. They were all excited. Everyone in losing their minds. Everyone on the north end was like, out of the way, we got to get to the show. We got to see Jackman. Were there men there? I could only imagine aunts and moms. It was all, the city of Boston was out to see it. It was crazy. It was a very, the age ranges seemed to vary quite a bit in that crowd, but yeah, you had a huge fucking, huge fucking audience. I want to talk a little bit about a, you were trying to dunk in donuts, but I want to talk about another, it's other round breakfast cousin, bagels, because this is a subject we talked about a little bit in the room at work. You don't think like, I brought up Noah's bagels and you don't think those are like proper bagels?

They're airport bagels. Yeah, I think they're, wait, Noah's bagels is the one in Larchmont? Yes, there's one there. Yeah. Okay. I'm not sure. It's a chain. Yeah. I think a lot of those bagel chain, like your Einstein's and your Noah's and whatever, what are the other bagel ones? Like, I guess, is Broogers still around? Yes. Broogers is around. Yeah, I believe so. Einstein brother, Einstein. Yeah, she meant to, sorry. They're all, yeah, they're all like approximations of bagels. Right, right. They're like, it's like a fancy lender's bagel, but it's not like a full blown, it's not like a Jew bagel. I'm Jewish. I should say that before I call, before I say anything that sounds derogatory. Oh boy. Okay, those are all Jewish sounds.

I think I've earned this. I was calling them that before you were here. Those freaking Jew donuts. Oh man. I'm happy you brought up lender's bagels because I brought them up to Nick and I said frozen bagels and then I found out they were lenders. I was trying to figure out what they were and he had never heard of frozen bagels. I never encountered that. Out here, it's like you'll get like the Thomas's or the Sarah Lee and they're fresh. Yeah, but that's the last like 15 to 20 years, like 15 years for the like the Thomas's bagels that are not frozen, right? I don't remember them ever being frozen. My entire, like we had bagels as a fat kid. I was getting bagels and was having those for

breakfasts instead of a few times in the podcast. Yeah, but you probably ate them fucking straight off the conveyor belt. I would get an egg bagel and it was always, it was bagged and fresh. Again, not a real bagel bagel, but it was like a, it was like a fine bagel that I loaded up with. As I mentioned before in the show, a layer of margarine, then a layer of cream cheese, and then a layer of strawberry preserves and they had that for breakfast every day. It was disgusting. The margarine cream cheese combination is radical. It's too much. It didn't need all those layers. It's excessive. In hindsight, it should not have eaten that. You use a fucking little fat fucks stuffed with cream cheese when you're a kid. I guess so. And also we've

mentioned blowing cream cheese into your fucking bassoon or whatever. Do you say blowing? Because it's injecting. I think we've covered the way cream cheese is incorporated. Oh man. Do you have what? Oh no, go ahead. No, no, no, nothing, nothing. I have bagel inquiries, but yes, please. Were you going to ask about injected cream cheese? Because yes, I do. Cream cheese feels like too, would be too hard to inject. Yeah. I don't think it would work in this high hop situation. I think a whipped cream cheese. There you go. And that is also, I will stand for a whipped cream cheese, like a temp tea or a Zausner's. Those are the whipped cream cheeses to know. Oh, interesting. You have cream cheese brand loyalty. Yes. To me, they're all the same. That's insane. Come on.

That is insane. I mean, I like Philadelphia. Do you think Philadelphia is like too like, is that too like whatever, grocery store cream cheese or? No, no, no. The other two are grocery store cream cheeses too. Okay, all right. I have no problem with Philadelphia. Yeah. What was I going to say? Shit, it was something about bagels, but now it's gone. I'm taking my cream cheeses. Why are you going to eat them? Oh, I think, okay. The note, like a lot of these, the chain bagel places, I think have run too far in the direction of sweet, like strawberry cream cheese. Once you get into, like once you start adding shit to it, like jalapenos and asiago and stuff, you're like, you've departed from the Jewishness of it. Get that shit out. I mean, whatever. I sometimes

like the cheese bagels just because. Oh, they're delicious. They're just not traditional. The sweet bagels specifically, I'm not, no, thank you to a sweet bagel, like a chocolate bagel. What are you, that's not right. Yeah, I'm not into that. Have a muffin. Have a muffin instead. It's better. You're going to enjoy the muffin more. No, I'm not into that. I will stan a cinnamon raisin bagel. What? Cinnamon raisin bagel. Cinnamon raisin bagel. Cinnamon raisin bagel. You mean Ronald Bagan? I mean Ronald Bagan, President Ronald Bagan. Ian Holm. Oh, is this the episode where we are losing our minds? I was trying to say bagel and they said bagel. That is nothing. I'm losing. I think I'm losing it a little bit. We're both losing it a

little bit. Am I, I think I might, you know what? I'm going to take my hoodie off. Oh my god. It's like we're at a Hugh Jackman concert. I think I'm overheated. I think I'm getting a little light headed. So, but what bagel do you like? You got a burger shirt on. I do. I got this. This was a. Oh, that's a great shirt. Yeah, this is, I think someone gave this to me. I think a listener gave this to me. Yeah, we got those on tour. Yeah. They're super cool. Yeah, it's three burger rockets. Yeah, I think you did. Yeah, it's a cool shirt and then I didn't, I put it on and then I got the free frosties for a year ticket. What was that? You get the free frosties for a year ticket. Oh, yeah, I did. Where is that? That's something or somewhere around here. Oh, so this was the

last tour. Yeah, you better find that. It's a nice shirt. It's a little thin and I feel self conscious not wearing it because I'm a little heavier than I've been. But I want to talk a little bit more about bagels. So what are your go-tos then? What do you like to eat bagel wise? I do like an everything bagel. And I guess it depends what's going on it. But if you're doing a smoked fish bagel, I feel like... Smoked fish bagel. The bagel doesn't have the fish in it if that's what you're putting on it. Got it. No, that did sound insane. But let's see. I guess you'd want maybe a rye or a seeded bagel of some kind if you're going to put a salmon on it. Something with a little bit of texture, like everything I think is the king, but sometimes

I'll just like a poppy seed or a sesame. Sometimes it's just got a little bit of a crunch to it. You know what? If someone puts salmon on my bagel, you know what I do? Peel it off, walk it right back into Quincy Bay. Let it go free. Drop a piece of smoked salmon into the bay. I walk right back in there. Let her go free. I've tried locks on my bagel. I just like cream cheese bagel. It's too much for me. I don't hate it. I think that it's a good... I think it's... I think it can be very good. And I've had bites of it that are amazing, but I just don't want that as my full meal. Raw fish in the morning, it's just too much for me. I can't... Well, it's not raw. It's smoked. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Smoked fish in the morning.

It seems raw. It's close enough to raw. I think it's better to push it towards lunch, let it be like a brunch thing. That's interesting. I'm much more okay with that. But I also think it's very noble of you to be a salmon liberator. Thank you. Opposite of what you thought. I don't catch them from the stream. I let them go. My take on locks. Stick to doors. Wow. Wow. I kind of like it. I do. I've had some decent locks. What's another... Like a smoked trout. Maybe I've had some smoked trouts that are okay, but I feel like in a bagel context. For me, I just... I don't know. It doesn't quite... I think it's that time in the morning. I'm not usually... I guess brunch

might solve it. Maybe just having it later in the day, but I just don't feel like I'm craving that specifically flavor-wise. So you recently got engaged, and the reason I bring this up... He's talking to Emmy, not me. Congratulations. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Well, I told you last time, get the wife. You really should be working on this. Make a thing of just get myself a wife. I think you should get any wife. Is there like a wife store? I guess you can... What's your plan? I don't know yet. I think you would benefit from a wife. Yes, I know. I know you've said this. Yeah. I'm going to pick a wife right now while we keep talking.

Okay. What about some kind of in-home caretaker? That... Actually, that's... You need that more. So I need basically like a hospice situation. Yeah, you should just get started on that early. I bring that up first to congratulate you, but also it's relevant to this podcast because your fiance, coincidentally, also named Nick, is a chef of some renown in Brooklyn. Yes. Can you say what his restaurant is and what exactly he cooks and how that affects your in-home food consumption? Oh, man. Oh, man. Okay. So he cooks at a restaurant called Alameda in Greenpoint. That is delicious. He's very good at making burgers. He's got like, I think,

a structurally perfect burger. And he makes stuff, like fun stuff at home, you know, on the weekends and stuff like that. But mostly, I just hadn't... I guess I hadn't thought about, like, he thinks a lot about where everything comes from. So in not an annoying way, he's like a fun person. But you know what I mean? Like, some people are like, is this free... Like, he's not going to be a difficult dining companion to anybody, but just knows a lot. So he had opinions on our subject for this show, but we'll get to those when we get to them. Let's talk about that because I'm intrigued by the burger that he makes. What is the composition of it? What are the ingredients as well as you can remember?

Let's see. I think he does... I should know this. It's a regular bun, not like a brioche. We talked about this at work. We're both not brioche bun people. Too bunny. Too bunny. Yeah. It's like a breakfast sandwich. I mean, that's... It's too much. Okay. Then the burger is... It's grass-fed. It's nice. It's like, there's... Let's see. Onion, lettuce, tomato, pickle, and lots of condiments for your pleasures, I guess. But... I have said so many things already that I'm just boiling and self-hatred. That's the pod for us. That's a reality. An exercise in self-loathing. Yeah. I think I found my wife. Okay. Eileen Wernos. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Doughboys. Welcome back to Doughboys. We're here with Emmy Blotnick this week's Chain, The Habit.

For the break, we mentioned Mitch's pending nuptials to female serial killer Eileen Wernos. Is Eileen Wernos or Wernos? I think it is. I wouldn't mind. Who plays her in the movie? It's Charlize there. Is it Charlize there? Oh, my God. She's a murderer? She's not a murderer in real life, but she plays a murderer in the film. Okay. Okay. It's a good movie. It seems like a good fit for you. Not to completely blow up your spot here, but bare toilet paper roll. You have guests coming over. Do you have a bare toilet paper roll? You need a wife, man. Did you see the other toilet paper, right? Yes. I've replaced it for you. Dear God. What happened? I think a murderer would be a great wife for you. I'll tell you what.

I'll tell you what happened, and this is so embarrassing. Before I came out, I came back. Got a hoodie. I had gone to the gym and Irma had thrown up, and I used the last bit of it on her throw up, and I didn't even think of it. I fucked up. No, it's fine. That's a decent reason. It's better than your usual fake money toilet paper that has Obama's face on it. You shit, Obama. Every time I go to the bathroom. But oh yeah, yes, but we want to, we have some breaking chews here. Mitch. Yes. We started off the episode. Things were a little tense. The cord was missing. The cord was missing. The cord we used to charge our Zoom recorder. Yeah. It's been found, Nick. Over the break, you found the cord.

We found the cord. Things are now. It was in your beard. I scratched my beard. The cord fell out. An empty toilet paper roll fell out. Irma's throw up. Is that in there? Irma's throw up is in there. Poor Irma throws up quite a bit. You know what made her do it? I think it was because I was quickly changing into my workout stuff. She just, she, and I was, I didn't take any clothes off. She's just, she's a little bit of a puker. I've taken through the vet multiple times. I spent thousands of dollars trying to figure it out. And then there was like one last one where they stick a hose in her throat and

up her butt. And it seems like too much when it just happens, it happens like, I don't, she eats her food too fast. I think that's what it is. Did she get that exam? No, she got, she got a cast scan and she got, she got a, she got a bunch of different exams too. Because that's a CT scan or whatever it is. That sounds really invasive if you're getting it from both ends. Yeah. Yeah. Nick is just sending me a piece of favorite. How can I sign up for this procedure? So the habit is officially the habit burger. Are you gonna put on a cat costume and go to the vet? Meow. Can't stop puking. Give me that treatment. I want the fingertips. Let's put them to sleep. Roast me on a spit. Meow.

So the habit burger grill founded in Santa Barbara, California in 1969. The big news, and one of the reasons we wanted to cover it at this chain that, that is going to be growing very quickly because it was purchased by Juggernaut Yum Brands in January of this year for $375 million. So their first burger concept. If you're not familiar with Yum Brands, they own KFC, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. Those are kind of their big threes. That's why you see combo restaurants of those. And now they have the habit in their family. It's a big three. It's a big three. Now, now a big four. Shit. Yum's taking over, huh? Yum. I mean, Yum, you know, they're, they're, they are, you know, like I said, they are a Juggernaut. They are a big player

in the chain restaurant game. So we went to the Echo Park location. And this is one of, this is a newer habit. It's like one of those complexes where like everything, it's like a new complex, right? That feels like that was established in the past few, past five to 10 years. It feels like a, like a fancy student center at a college kind of 100%. And like, it's just stupid. I mean, it just, it just does, it just feels out of place. It's very strange for like a very busy strip. It's a blight on the urban landscape. It is like one of those new developments that like doesn't look nice. I will say the plus side is, is there's parking. There is a nice where there is never been parking ever before. I think they should,

they should get rid of everything and just make it parking. Truly. Mitch for mayor. Get rid of that entire, get rid of that. The PETA building. Am I right? The what building? The PETA PETA? PETA building. Yeah. There's a PETA building right there. PETA, the people for ethical treatment of animals. It's a food podcast. You can't just say PETA. I'm thinking flat bread over here. That's right. I'm like, what's in there? Chicken? We got hummus. We got baba ganoush. What's going on? God, and why was I making the joke anyways? What a disaster. It's got a Starbucks reserve in this place too. Does it really? Yes, they've got a very obnoxious Starbucks reserve. Oh my God. That's one of those ones where it's like

a guy in suspenders is like a DJ and like kisses you on the mouth. You order and he kisses you on the mouth. That guy doesn't work there. Oh, I think I gotta get something else. Keep going up and up again. Like here's a beer. Here's a what? Here's a deep French kiss. Starbucks reserve. Yeah. That whole complex is a bummer. All these like big glassy buildings bum me out. I don't like any building. I don't like any chain that is a library. I don't like any of the places. Starbucks reserve is just people working in there. Get the fuck out of here. Go to a library for God's sakes. Well, the public spaces like that have disappeared. So like that's why now you have

to go spend money someplace to fucking have a place work quietly. I liked, hey, you know what? I'm down for your mayoral campaign. You would vote for Mayor Mitchell? Yeah. I mean, I'm worried you're not registered to vote. But I will say that I do go to the library often to just get some work done because it is like the thing like you don't have to. Hey, I like it. It's very calm. It's not as even a busier library is not like as intense as like a Starbucks or something. Not as noisy. And like, yeah, and I remember by a fucking iced coffee, I don't want to feel justified and lingering there. Hey, Waggar, I gotta say, we're speaking of voting. I tweeted a thing that you never responded. Quincy was one of the top spots that voted for Bernie in Massachusetts. You're pointing

back at 2016. These numbers we don't obviously have 20, 20 numbers. But yeah, Quincy a Bernie stronghold. How about that? Yeah, look at that. I think that's good. Good. Good on the people of Quincy. Fuck you. You don't mean any of this shit. So we were at the habit. Yes. So this place burgers fries and shakes. It's a very standard sort of roadside burger chain. And and the one the the item we all got variants of was the char burger, which is char grilled beef patty, crisp lettuce, fresh tomato, caramelized onions, pickles and mayo on a toasted bun. I'm gonna stop you right there. Yes. Char burger. I just gotta say right off the bat, like I like a char on my burger, but char burger seems like you're getting like a burnt like a thing that's burnt

to a crisp. The name is bad. There's a place in Staple Center, the the NBA and NHL arena in LA, where they there was a McDonald's there, they got rid of McDonald's there, placed it with a place called Salt and Char. And it's a similar sort of just like terrible name for a business because it's like those aren't what I want to be thinking about associated with food. Yeah, the char burger south, but it also makes you think it's gonna have a good char on it, which I don't think it does. No, this was something I talked to Nick by my burger boy, my personal burger boy. I'm sorry, this feels controversial. This feels extremely controversial. No, you definitely have the better burger boy. Thank you. He has a skill. He said, okay, he also took this is his text. It says,

wow, they say they are the quote best tasting burger in America. Get fucked. Char grilled is meaningless. I'm sure it's a gas grill. And that just means you carbonize the beef with a gas flame. So it's not and once you got it, you saw it's not charred. No, it's just kind of a inert gray patty with that would not a lot of flavor of the meat. Do we mess up? Was it charred like Swiss charred? That might have been the issue. CHARD. Maybe they left the D off. They forgot the D. And they forgot the charred. There was no charred on the burger. Oh, he says, I guess they are relying on the power of suggestion to make you believe that the burger is charred. Yeah, I mean, I think I think it sounds like your Nick is a burger truther. It seems like he's a burger purist.

And that's I think a valuable resource in this podcast. I 100% agree. I think a lot of the time we've been blown away by just a pure burger, a simple burger. Yeah, I agree. Easy as it can be the best burger there is. And that's what this is. And this is a it's a very straightforward burger. There's nothing wrong with it really, but there's nothing exciting about it. I think the meat in particular is just not great. And so then it lands on everything else to make up for it. And I feel like the thing that I was liking the best there was the cheese that I added. It's just like the mayo is whatever it's just mayo, the veggies aren't particularly good. Shredded lettuce, which you picked off. I hate it. I got to say the I'm sorry, I had to get a plastic knife from

behind the counter. They don't trust us with plastic utensils at the habit. But it was crazy, you got it and you started threatening people. You're just like prison rules. That's right. I scraped off the caramelized onions because they were gross. Yeah. And then there was so much shredded lettuce of a kind of cabbages. Like it was like coleslaw with no dressing kind of do you remember what happened when you scraped it off? I want to send it my way. Just eating fistfuls of shredded lettuce. No, it was very disgusting to see. In fact, I will say that like the the leftover like the like the I want to just say that the final result of our trays or whatever, how everything ended up was fucking disgusting. Partially my fault,

but also it was it was just it was just fucking gross. The things that we wanted to eat and the things we didn't want to eat just became this big fucking disastrous mess. And I like shredded lettuce. Okay, I get your issue with it kind of with the double burger. I think it didn't bother me as much, but with a single burger, maybe it would it was kind of wet and maybe it kind of it made the burger a little bit more wet and sloppy. Yes. And it actually eclipsed the burger in my I couldn't taste the burger until I got rid of the lettuce. And this is yeah, I think a plain burger is like a perfect food. You don't have to do anything to it. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. And so you and I both got doubles. You got a single. And then we also got a couple other

sandwiches. The first one is a specialty they have right now a seasonal item that Parmesan, ciabatta, golden chicken sandwich. This is a breaded golden chicken breast sandwich between aged artisan Parmesan cheese, sliced tomato lettuce and a housemaid basil pestle aioli on a Parmesan crusted ciabatta roll. There's a Yiddish word that you taught me, Emi ungepachka. And that was what which which you can do a better job of defining. It's like something excessive or over decorated that has like a few too many things going on. And yeah, that sandwich was like it's like three different ideas. Too much stuff going on. I definitely I was like, this is ungepachka. That's what you know, if you're a mensch, you know, that's good.

Right. Yeah. Okay. Well, go on. I'm going to hear your might be a redneck thing. Oh, never mind. I started to do it. And I bailed on it. Please do it. If you're a Parmesan ciabatta, golden chicken sandwich that also has a basil pestle aioli, you might be ungepachka. It is so surreal to hear that word in a southern accent. It's wow. I feel like I'm on another planet. I I agree. I'm going to pachka. I will give it a third. I'm going to pachka. Yeah, it's too much. We should have gotten the regular chicken fried chicken sandwich. You know what I think the element that I would lose if I was going to lose one thing because they've got Parmesan on top of Parmesan. Parmesan cheese. Yeah, get the chicken out there. No, they've got they've got Parmesan

cheese on the chicken patty. And then they've also got a Parmesan crusted roll. It's just too much Parmesan. It's just too aggressively umami, right? Yeah. Send it back to fucking Italy. Yeah. Yeah. The the ahi tuna filet is the other one we got as a dare as a day. Yeah, we kind of felt like we had to it's described as a grade tuna with a teriyaki glaze. I just want to say this that it came in. It was like you have to get the ahi tuna burger and I was like ah and then I got up there and you really thought that that you were like I'm going to get the double burger, but you can have a bite of mine. I was like I'm not just getting the ahi tuna burger you freak. I thought

that when you said you were going to get it and yeah, I got I ordered it for the table. Yeah, but you said it you I was trying to give you a compliment. You were convincing in your performance of saying like oh yeah, I'm going to get that that I believed it. You sold it. Thank you. It was a good performance. I appreciate that. However, what am I best? However, the ahi tuna filet left much to be desired. Yeah, I think this one I think it would be rejected if I try to bring it back into Quincy Bay. It's fucking disgusting. It was really gross. It was not a great weird not a great piece of fish and then the aftertaste was putrid. I mean the clearest most damning review of that sandwich is that you didn't want to bring it home to your cats. That is true.

Like I was nervous that my cats would eat it and get sick or something. I remember I was going to puke and I had to just put one rod up or a butt in one rod in your mouth and then no ass wiping for Mitch. First of all, hold on a second. Yeah, I I don't do these things with my cat. I don't experiment on the cats. I didn't think you I don't make a fucking human centipede with Wally and Irma. Jesus Christ. Probably like a feline centipede. Yeah, well, I mean if I'm a part of it, I guess it's probably still like a human. So you're thinking you can take the middle segment. Yeah, I might jump on the caboose. The front cat eats the tuna. Yeah, you know the rest. We can piece it together. I think

I get a big enough mouth that I think I just be the back and the two of them are the front. You got two cat assholes trained into your mouth. I'm picturing is it shaped like the letter Y kind of kind of like the other water and you know what they're fine. They're enjoying themselves while it happens. The the ahi tuna. You made a point of how the habits burger was a little bit Burger King, which Nick and I have talked Burger King's back. It's doing well, right, Nick? It's kind of come back. King is back. Burger King's back. It's had to come back. But I will the king. I will. I will all the King. I will say this eating that ahi tuna sandwich. It felt like if you took a burger out of the if you took the whopper patty out of the whopper and just slid in

like a poor piece of fish. That's exactly what it was and I was like this should have different. It shouldn't have shredded lettuce. It should have like maybe just like like some sort of leafy butter lettuce or something. Anything else, not shredded lettuce and then it should and it just there's got to be other alterations to it was like two dipped in whatever the the sauce was that marinated in some sort of soy because they did have sure. Oh God, it fucking sucked to call it sushi grade to is just offensive. Yeah, it's it's it's an insult. I mean, look, we fucked up by ordering it. We fucked up, but it's on the menu and it's there for a reason. I think it's like it's worth trying and it's good to know that it's it's it's really bad. It's as bad as you think

it would be. I will say that they had you mentioned not having shredded lettuce. Yeah, I think that might have helped it. I mean, the fish is so bad that I think that's just the it's it's you can't overcome that. But they did have whole leaf lettuce. They did have there's just green leaf lettuce on the ciabatta sandwich, the chicken sandwich. They could have used that for this. It would have seemed a seemed a little classy, a little less trashy. I will say it had a teriyaki glaze, which I did not get at all. I did not get no hint of teriyaki from that. I just got like this straight like rancid fish. Yeah, it was a very aquarium flavored sandwich. It tasted like the aquarium smells. Yes. Yes. So we did not have great with the protein between buns. However,

we did not have great experiences with those variants. However, we I think the sides were pretty good. French fries, sweet potato fries, onion rings and tempura green beans. We got all of those. We tried them all. Fries are very lightly salted, but they're well fried. The sweet potato fries, similar assessment. Onion rings, I thought were were high quality. And that ranch dipping sauce. Good ranch dipping sauce. They're generous with it too. What are you saying, Amy? Those onion rings reminded me of Burger King onion rings. Oh, right. Just the ratio of breadedness to onion. Like the onion is barely perceptible. But I don't think that's a bad thing. Yeah. Yeah. No, I thought those I thought they were. Nick and I had a big conversation. What are you dipping

your onion rings in nowadays? Yes. Nick, you said now it's it's ranch. I've gone on to I've gotten on to the ranch side. Is ranch now the main dip for onion rings? This is a boy. This is a this should. It feels like it should be like a doba. Do boys. Yeah. Date line. I'm not date line. Do boys like an investigative episode of do boys. Yeah, we should go deep dive. What's what's a good hashtag for that? Deep dips deep hashtag. Hashtag deep dips. Are you are onion rings ranch or you still look on the ketchup train? I feel like a lot of times if you'll get that at them as like an appetizer at a sit down chain, ranch is what you're getting with them. But I think a lot of people do dip them in ketchup still. I would assume ketchup is still most popular. Are we just

going to overlook mustard completely? I feel like this is such a false binary. Wow. Sorry. No, this is no, this is good. This is good stuff. I'm pissed off. Your honor, I would like to bring honey mustard into consideration. Honey mustard specifically. Yeah, I think that's a pretty good. That's a good that's a contender. Yeah, it just straight up yellow mustard. I mean, I'll use that for fries in a pinch, but I don't know if I'd use that for onion rings. I've never tried it, though. Maybe it'll work. I know. I think it's got to be a saucier mustard than just straight yellow. Yes. Yeah. I agree with that. I but I might be I might be going over to the ranch side of things. Yeah, there's something about the ranch. I think because it I don't know what it is exactly. I

you know what? I think it's just like tastes a little bit more refreshing for like like ketchup almost makes it feel heavier. And then the ranch, even though it's more caloric, I don't know if something about it makes it feel like you're not having as heavy of a bite. You are a man, though, who after a workout, you'll have a cup of ranch. Yeah, I've seen you splash your face with it at work. It's gonna wakes me up after lunch. Yeah, I really I did think those were all good solid sides. I don't know if you guys have any thoughts on the French fries or sweet potato fries, but that's not a lot to them. The fries you made this point is that they should have been salted. They could have used some more salt. Yeah. And a better salt distribution to your

that was your point. I felt that the salts, the salts, the fries were unevenly salted, like somebody just needed to give them a toss. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Nick, you should have tossed them up at the table. It's not my job. Well, you could have done it. I would have made a would you know what a mess I would have made? That's try to top toss that carton of fries in the air. I also I myself made a so I got a I got a strawberry limeade. Yes. And I was drinking with my new straw. I have a new straw. Tell us about the straw. I have a new straw that's a it's on my key chain. Yes, it's an it's an on the go straw. It's a reusable straw metal straw. I'm surprised it's taken you this long to get a straw on your key chain. It's special to I'd never seen one like

this. It's a telescoping. It's like the antenna on an old Volvo. Yes. If that makes sense, like when you turn on the radio and the antenna would have to like extend, which it might be made of. I mean, it's possible that it's recycled from old Volvo antennas. It is. It looks like a green. Yeah. It's got this metal sheen to it. It looks like a pirate spyglass, but one that's specifically designed for Mitch's small eyes. I knew that was coming. You piece of shit yarr Dr Peppers Insight. It's a it's it's my mom gave it to me for Christmas. It goes on my key chain. It's a

retractable straw. Yeah, it's got a little. What did you how did you describe the cleaner? I thought it was a mascara wand. It is a little mascara wand cleaner. It's a pipe cleaner pipe cleaner. Basically a little a little guy that stays in the thing and you use the straw, you collapse it down. I think you got to drink some water afterwards to kind of clean it out, right, which was very gross. I used this cup and there was I was like basically washing it out of my cup. I think if you connect that thing to a colander, you can find out how JFK was actually assassinating. But you you use you're using that straw now you used it for your drink there and and you got the remind us again what you were sipping on. I was the strawberry limeade. That's right. How

do you think JFK was killed? Um, I think that I don't think there was a second shooter. I think that you know, why can't I remember the fucking assassin's name? I mean, I've got it. I've got him tattooed on my body. Now I can't remember his name either. I can remember the fucking assassin. Lee Harvey Oswald. I gotta say for a second, I wanted to tell you it was John Wilkes Booth because I think you would have gone with it. I would have bought it because it sounds right. It's also three names. Lee Harvey Oswald. Lee Harvey Oswald. Yes. I believe that he did it. John Coogerman. I think that he did it, but I think that there was probably some sort of deep states or Calvier. Yeah, I think I think there I think there was something going on

beyond him just being a lone actor. One of the weirdest things I've ever seen. I went to Dallas and there's an X on the street, like where the car was when he when he was shot. And I saw tourists jump into that X and do like thumbs-ups for photos. And it was the weirdest. It's so weird. It's so weird to do that. That is very strange. I did a similar thing at the, you know, memorial like 9-11 holes they have. And there's like, there's people just like doing selfies in front of them. Oh, I thought you said you did. No, I didn't do that. But I had a similar experience. Yeah, I jumped in there and gave the double thumbs up. It was either George W. Bush or Nick Wider. No, I saw I witnessed the similar at a similar experience is what I was trying to say, where

I witnessed people like taking selfies and like smiling and like posing and like looking cute. And and it was it was weird. It was like, it's like weird. It's like, this is supposed to be like a solemn place. But I get this. This is just what society is now. Yeah. But they're having fun. They're having fun. Lay off. Lay off. I've never visited it. When we were in Dallas, we didn't even go over and see as we didn't see where he was where he was killed. Yeah, we had that. We did a 16 hour window we had in Dallas. We decided not to go to the site of one of the most grim tragedies. We'll save it for the next time we're there. I'd like to go. I'd be interesting to see. We didn't hit on the but you like that beverage. You like that thing you

were stepping on. I liked the beverage quite a bit in my stride. I'll get into what I used afterwards, which caused the whole problem. I got the peach and ginger nectar, which is one of their house beverages. They just need to should have a fucking lemonade. I don't know why they're getting so fancy with it. This was way too sweet. This was just like straight. I took a sip of that and it was insanely, it was insanely sweet. It was like what would be the liquid leftover in a can of peaches. It was just so so syrupy and nectar like, but we didn't hit on the fourth side I mentioned, which I think was everyone's favorite, the tempura green beans. Shout out Farley Elliott for letting us know to order these. These are fucking Farley Elliott's job.

Very good. Shockingly good. Yeah, I think they were one of the highlights. It's not the highlight. They're two highlights. It was one of my, it was my favorite, I think savory bite was those those tempura green beans. I brought one home. I'm going to bury it in the backyard and hope that more grow. A tempura bean stock? A tempura bean stock will sprout. No, I this was a you can climb to the top of it and the giant's like another one of me. Are you my brother? Water me with ranch. We got the yeah, and then that takes us to the sweet treats. We all got malts. That's right. I got myself a vanilla. A vanilla is a flavor and it's a very good one. And I think this was

an excellent malt. It was really good. It was really well blended. The ice cream, I mean, like it was clearly made to order like they, as they say, but they, you know, it's good quality ice cream in there. Some whipped topping on top. I thought this was an outstanding malt that I would be, I would love to have just like an after-school treat. I agree. I had a chocolate one that I thought was super solid. And if I had to do this whole meal over again, I would get just the tempura green beans, the chocolate malt, and I would dip the green beans in the malt. Oh, that's a wow. Like a wacky Wendy's. You did have a minor snafu with your malt, we should mention. I was not offered the option

of whipped cream while both men were. Yeah. I call bullshit. See you in court habit. I kind of like it. You fucking chauvinist pig. That's right. I think that they should call the habit. They should rename it wacky Wendy's. Wacky Wendy's is a whole concept though. Yeah, it's having bad burgers isn't wacky. I heard wacky Wendy's. They don't have frosties. They have hotties. Oh, fuck. Oh, I hear wacky Wendy's. The burgers aren't square. They're round. What the fuck? That is wacky as shit. I heard a wacky Wendy's instead of baked potatoes on the side. They have french fries.

Wait a minute. What? And I hear that a wacky Wendy's that when they make burgers, they use it from leftover chili. Oh, it's weird. What? Does that too much? That's like a reverse. It's like a reverse. That was a reverse. They say they use baked chili from leftover burgers. I hear at wacky Wendy's. Why did that bomb so bad? I was trying to piece it together. It took a second. Yeah, it was a thinker. Yeah, it took a little algebra. I had to picture like paper mache from elementary school when you would pour a pulp over a screen. I think that's how we make your your weird chili burger, but yeah, it's a little bit of a walk, Mitch. I'm fucking bombing left and right. No, you're

doing great. Just bleep me out of the episode. I'm gonna bleep all everything you say. You gotta. I want you to. I'm not gonna do it. You should. You're doing great. You should have more confidence. People love you. I hear at wacky Wendy's. Dave Thomas is like the hot sexy spokesperson and Wendy is the old owner. I don't know. It's good. No wasn't be bailed. No, it's bad. It's bad. I just do it bad. It's bad. Hotties. We should just let it out. Hotties. Yeah, the the malls, but how did you get the Oreo? You got the chocolate? Wait, also, what's mine was weird too, because Wendy's not really like a sexy spokesperson. Oh, she's fucking hot, man. That signage gets me choked. That we're all in trouble. At wacky Wendy's,

she's got three pigtails. There we go. Everyone can enjoy that. That's fun. That's just good clean stuff. They don't want to hear us getting horny over Wendy. I mean, I guess would you, given the chance, would you, would you let Dave, Tom? No, he's dead. I'm not going to do this. Please, please. No, it's just, it's, it's, it's not a nice thing. Do you think you'll ever get to play Ted Kennedy in a biopic based off head size alone? Piece of shit. You know what? I'll tell you this. Where's God? I wish I was smarter. I just forget stuff all the time. Where did he, where did he, where did he drop? Chapaquitic? Chapaquitic. Yeah. If I had, if I had driven into the thing, I would have, I would have floated to the top with my head.

Nice to have a, a good buoy on your shoulders. Mitch, you liked your Oreo shake. I liked my Oreo shake. Issue was. Yes. Straw got, I thought the straw got a little bit lost in there. Um, that's not, I don't feel like that's the habits fault. It's not the habits fault. Interesting enough, the straw went into this ice cold thing retracted. Kind of funny in there. Retracted up into itself. I was sucking on it and I was like, what's the deal? I was like, what's the deal here? Nothing's, nothing's going on. I pulled it out. You saw this. I pulled it out of the shake and I was like, I fucking lost a part of the straw. So I had a fucking dig through the shake. I poured it into your shake, which you were done with, just making a mess, trying to

find it. It just had pulled up into the straw. I didn't realize that. I thought that part of it had fallen off. You got milkshake all over your bear paws for nothing. I did look very, it was very, it was disgusting. It was a big mess, but the shake itself was very good. Yeah. They were high quality shakes and I thought they were, they were delightful. Too, too thick for the straw. I think sucking it in, it retracted. Right. Again, this is not going to be most people's experience because most people are not going to bring a straw from home, but I think that the straw there held up pretty well and probably would have struggled with the... Well, can I tell you? With the chunks, yeah. They should bring a straw from home because they're not offered.

You have to ask. You have to ask for them, yeah. Plastic utensils and straws and they say it's a green thing, but is it? No, yeah. I feel like that's a way for them to save money while like being like appearing to be green. Yes. They have, they have, they have sippy lids. Yeah. And that does not work for shakes. They need to give you, they need to come up with some sort of shake straw solution. I will, here's one thing I would like to give the habit credit for is the little salad bar of pickled peppers. That was nice. That is a nice thing to have. Yeah. I got some jalapenos that I threw on my double charburger because I am something of a heat seeker. There are some, there's some pepper and chinis you got. So were there some banana

peppers? Those were little chilies, but they kind of look like banana peppers. Gave me the hiccups straight out of fucking the cartoon. I took one bite of the hot chili. I mean, they get itself beer. They fall into a vat of beer or something. Those will get you sometimes because you'll like, you'll bite into them and you'll get like that little pop of heat that'll like kind of like explode in your mouth. And it's just like, they're more intense than you realize them. I feel like every like fifth one is like super hot. Yeah. I think you can get one that's just spicier than the other ones for whatever reason. Well, let's get to our final thoughts on the habit. So Emmy, you were with us on our Wingstop episode way back in the day,

but just to refresh her on how this works, we will each go around, give a closing argument with, if you will, on everything pertaining to this week's chain and then end by giving it a fork score, zero to five forks. You are a guest. We will begin with you. Oh, no. I insist one of you go first while I collect myself. Okay. Do you want me to go? Yeah, go for it. I never had the habit. I heard about it and I've heard good things about it. So we went to this one down on sunset. It did have the lower stars and the other ones. I just want to point that out. I was on Yelp. You mean on Yelp. I was enjoying my burger as I was eating it. I think like Sus likes the habit. I mean, come on. I mean, all right, fine. You're right. I was enjoying my burger and then you

pointed out you were like, it's kind of mealy and why are you like the quality of the beef is not good. I truly was just not thinking about the only thing I was thinking about it was that the beef was too salty. And then when I was thinking about it, I was like, yeah, you guys are right. But the taste of it wasn't like the burger itself wasn't bumming me out as much as other things. I will say this. I do think that it was like a little bit too sloppy like there were pickles in there and then they were like grilled onions and there was nothing that like gave it like kind of a nice crunch as well, which right like like for the way that burger is there should be a little bit more crunch in there like with the whopper. You like there's pickles

in this habit burger, but you don't get a crunch from them, but in the whopper you do get like a crunch from onions and a crunch from pickles, right? Like there's like more to it and this like especially with the shredded lettuce, it just is like a very much like a glob. It's a mush and it's a mush. It's like when they wrap it in the time before you can start eating it, it starts to steam through. Yes. And it just turns into a wet mess that's like combining. It's like starting to like combine with the wrapper around it already once you get it, which is I mean that sounds gross. I didn't think it was as bad maybe as you guys did. The burger I was fine with. Not not fine with it. It was it was just like fine and that's not great. That's

not a good thing to have just a fine burger when that's what this place is all about. I think I should just sing the rest of my review, Nick. Oh boy, sure. I'm at the habit. It's cool. I'll have some fries. If you're at the habit, I suggest just stick two sides. What was that to the tune of? It's not a habit. I'm cool. I feel alive. You don't know that song. Is it rent? No, it's not rent. No one knows this song. 525,600 calories. 525,600 bytes. 525,600 calories. How many habits till Nick and I die. He's back. Is that the number? I don't even remember what the number is from this. It's 525,600

minutes. Kenny Rogers sings it. Did I do a parody of that on this? We did buds, season of buds, seasonal buds. That's what that was. Seasonal buds. You forgot that we did this on the show. I remember the segment. I just didn't remember what the context was not. Oh, that's why the real song is not an addict. Not it's not a habit. Not an addict song by K's choice. You forget the 90s. Don't remember. I don't remember. Oh, cut the end of it. I'm giving it. Look, I like it better than you guys. 3.75 forks. I mean, that's a pretty good score. The sides are good. The shakes are good. That's right. That's absolutely not that far off like in and if I had that fried chicken

sandwich, maybe three and a half forks. Look, it's not a three fork place. It's not. It's not just a plain three fork place. I do think it's a little bit better than that, but maybe you don't. I don't know. We'll see. Blotnik. Are you suitably gathered? Yes. Yes. Yes. This was incredibly helpful to remember where the what the benchmark is for. I can't believe none of you knew it's not. I'm not an addict. It's. I mean, I didn't call. I don't know what a fucking what a misfire. Kay's choice is rock. Okay. Okay. It's the letter K. Kay's choice. Play some of it. Just these two guys. Oh, fuck this shit. Belgian rock band from Antwerp founded in the mid 90s. You guys are into Kay's choice. I don't remember Kay's choice at all. I don't think

I know any Belgian rock groups. Yeah. Did you do these guys work at Starbucks Reserve? All right, Amy, go ahead. Here we go. So I had mentioned to Nick that other Nick, sorry, my Nick that the burger felt mealy. And I said, what does that mean? And he said a mealy burger means a bad grind and a low quality beef that's high in water content. Wow. Then he went to the website and he said they don't mention where the beef comes from on the website. So it's safe to conclude sad cows. Oh boy. Oh no. Like ones that are, you know, that don't have room and like are in each other's shit and like have, you know, the minimum number of inches where they don't all give each other diseases and stuff. Right. Dear God. Sorry, gruesome. But I, okay. Sounds like Palmerston.

I know it's okay. All right. So I think, yeah, the burger's no good. The green beans and the shakes were good. Yes. Pickled pepper bar is good. And I said this while we were eating and I stand by it. If this whole franchise were attached to a ballpark, I would think it was great. I think it's just that it appears to be a restaurant. So it doesn't live up to those standards, I think. And for that reason, I will give it three forks plus Mitch's metal antenna straw. There's no way they get this thing from me. I love it. It's my new thing. It's my new thing. Likes. I like it. I do too. It's appropriate for you. You can brush your eyebrows with that pipe cleaner. It's got a little container too. So people know that the straw is

in a container. It's just not loosely hanging. It kind of looks like a laser pointer when it's packed up. Yes. Yes. Elegant. You guys are both being more forgiving towards this place than I anticipated. But I guess when I think back on everything that we've eaten, everything that we ate at this meal, you know, the sandwiches, I think we're all misfires. I didn't love the burger. That was my favorite of the three. And the other two I thought were just I would not. I would not. One was okay. One was tolerable and one was repulsive. The sides were overall quite good. Temporary green beans, obviously, being a standout. Just a nice light breading on those. They had a great Christmas and pop when you bit into them. Really

like those. The house nectar. I don't need that. But I do like the, I did like the malt quite a bit. I want to, I want to note that by pure happenstance. So, Mitch, we had the Seattle live show on Friday. It's Tuesday now and we're recording Friday. I had to fly out that day after work. And my flight got delayed by an hour. So, I was at LAX. And by happenstance, there was a, the habit in the airport terminal where my flight was going out of. So, I got it there just to say, I'm going to have another habit experience fresh in my mind going into it. I think that was actually a little better. Wow. I was staggered by like thinking back. I was like, that was, I think that was at least the burger there. I got a barbecue bacon char burger. And I think it was just, maybe

it was just a better conceived sandwich. Had bacon and, you know, akin to a western bacon cheese burger just without the onion rings and caramelized onions instead. I thought it was, I thought it was quite nice. I thought it was satisfying. Again, to your stadium point, it's because of the context, because we were in an airport. I didn't have very high expectations, but I thought that one delivered. And I think if I was in an airport and the habit was available, I might choose it. I'm going to give a little extra bonus because of the sides and the shakes. So, I am going to land at three forks even. I feel like this is a, the epitome of a three fork fast food restaurant. Really? I think it's a little bit better than three forks, but I might be going too high. It

might be a three and a half one. It's reasonable to differ on this. I think we're all in the same general range. We're ballpark buds, but you know what? It very easily could be like a D plus, or I mean like a seven is a D plus or C minus, right? And I feel like that's kind of, yeah. So, I say three, I say three and a half forks. I'm moving it down a little bit, but, but, but also is it worse than that? I don't think it's worse than that. I don't think it's worse than three forks. I don't think it's a, I don't think it's bad, but I think it's unremarkable. And I think it's got some out, some items that are just, don't people love this place? I'm confused. It feels like a redundancy in the world of fast foods. Like we, it just, it doesn't have,

it doesn't have a lane that it's clearly operating in. Yes. The thing, the thing that, a thing that made me go, and also I should put it at three and a half forks, and the thing that just makes me think about it is like, fat burger is so much better than that. Fat burger is way better. Fat burger has a lot fewer locations, but yeah, that's a, that's a, that's a much better local burger institution. Would I rather just like go to Burger King than get this? I would. I think I would. Yeah. Cause also the other thing we didn't mention, the price point here is quite a bit higher. Yeah. That's part of why I was expecting it to be better too. Cause if your burger's like nine bucks, you're like, this should be food. Yeah. It's really the bare minimum expectation

at a restaurant. I agree with you, but I feel like this place was popular. I thought that this was a place that, I thought this was a burger place that people really love. If people love it, I'm sure they'll let us know in the comments, but hey, yes. One more thing also, this is a, it's not going to work well for radio, but what font is this? It looks like a sitcom from TBS. You can't see it, but it's the habit and like bubble letters and the B is croaky. It's like home improvement. Yes. Okay. It is, it's, I think it's, I think it's two-man. I think it's the two-man font. Yeah. This is like a Zach Braf, Jenna Elfman, two-hander that ran for one season. Yes. Yes. Yes. Hey, that was our review of the habit. It's time for a second. I'm happy for

Braf. He's dating Florence Pogue. Pogue? Isn't it Pew? I think it's Pew. Oh, it's not Pogue? No, it's not Pogue. But you should watch, who's that guy on YouTube, Poguey Pie? Check out Poguey Pie. He's a great streamer. He's got some alt-right beliefs, but you know, it's crazy. I found this out the other day as a, I was sending it to you. What's his name? Oh God. Now the guy who's now is a boxer? Logan Paul. Logan Paul is a boxer now. Logan Paul is a huge success. These guys, these YouTube, he's a boxer man. He pivoted to boxing. We should do that. We should pivot to MMA. We're going to be boxing guys. We should, we should start. I bet people would want to watch us fight each other. That would be so awesome. People would, people would watch a pay-per-view

pay-per-view where you and I both got fucking jacked and then just beat the shit out of each thing. Can we sell out a stadium? No, I don't think we can sell out a stadium. Can we sell out of like a gym? We could maybe sell out a gym. An elementary school gym or something? Yeah, I think we can sell out an elementary school gym. I like that. I think you guys should have branded punching bags called dough bags. Just a suggestion. I think, I think that like a lot of our listeners crossover into like MMA fans, right? I bet there are some, yeah. I mean, you know, our audience is a little, from my experience is a little bit nerdier and less sports aware, although we do have some real sportos out there and I'm sure there's some MMA fans.

Hey, that was our review of the habit. It's time for a segment. We got a bunch of chips and we're going to eat them all. It's another edition of Chips and Hale, Rest Chew Rangers. There's bag too big, no bag too small. When you've got chips, just call. Ch-ch-ch-chips in Hale, Rest Chew Rangers. Ch-ch-ch-chips in Hale, every flavor. You know it never fails once we're involved. Somehow these chips will eat them all. Okay, so Mitch, my favorite basketball team, the one I'm wearing the hat of, the Los Angeles Lakers, your nemesis. They have a star big man, Anthony Davis, who joined the team this season and is just having a dynamite go of it. He sucks. Anthony Davis is very good. The brow, but Anthony Davis also

a ruffles enthusiast. Shave the fucking shaving. I like them on a brow. Separate the brow. You know, Natalie finds him attractive. Really? Natalie is very, like, Natalie is like, into Anthony Davis. He's definitely a distinct looking man. I feel like she'd be kind of like into anyone, into any other option. But so there's a limited edition Lyman jalapeno by Anthony Davis ruffles chip that we are going to taste test right. I thought you were going to talk about the box. Oh yeah, it did come in a special box. They just, so here's the thing, they just sent these to you. The Doughboys can't be bought. We're not doing this as a, as any sort of advertorial, but they sent this to you. Someone either, okay, someone online either

sign me up for or wait, what does it say? There's an inspirational quote on the side of this box of chips. And it's like a very sort of like, oh my God, sort of like the, the Lizzo ethos has applied to ruffles. Do you want to read it, Nick? When you're different from everyone else, you can choose to hide it or you can choose to own it. You should own it. Anthony Davis chips. So yes, it came, it got shipped to you in what looks like a shoe box because he does have some limited edition ruffle shoes that are associated with this, but inside are not shoes, but rather chips. That's right. I get, I get sent weird shit like this all the time. I don't know if it's because like, oh gee, what's happening over there? You just slammed your head into the wall. I was trying not

to eat into the mic. And so I moved my head away, but then I hit my head in the wall. You hit the, you should choose to own it. I should have chosen to own it. There you go. Well, you didn't even talk about how I, there's, there's stuff on the wall now. I think you complained about forever. I mean, there's been stuff on the wall in various ways. This is so interesting. I have not. There's dope boys pictures on the wall. You put some art up on the wall. It's really looks very nice. Fuck you. It is very, it's very limey. More, it's got some heat to it. I don't like fake lime. It's very limey. I'm not a fake lime fan. I don't like. This might not be for you. This fake lime tastes a little bit like counter cleaner, but I also like it. It's aggressively limey. I would

have rather just had the jalapeno. I think you suck. I think the lime I don't love. They're really similar to the tostitos lime. No. They are. Yes. Yeah. I think the tostitos lime chips are good. These ones do too. There's something about this that tastes more chemically, but they're, there's a similarity. They taste like, they taste like green fruit loops with like a slight jalapeno flavor. Wow. That's really accurate. I was picturing like a Mrs. Myers product and fruit loops just put me in a new category. It's like too, it's so artificial. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I'm not going to say I love them. However, my allegiance to 80 means I'm going to give these a, say these are good. I like the heat. I like that you get some

real heat from them. And I like the texture of ruffles. Like these are good. These are a snack. I mean, just, you'd have to really, but his face is so large on the bag. He must like these. So I think, yeah, you're doing the right thing, I guess. Hold on a second. He's a large man too. So if LeBron was like, my new dog come flavored Sprite, you'd be like, it's a drank. Yeah. That's fucking bullshit. I mean, I'd give, I'd be honest about how I felt about it, but ultimately end of the day. I, I just respect his choices. These are lack. Is there something else to eat because this can't be the last taste in my mouth of the day. Um, I can get you another, a water. Do you want another water? Yeah.

Do you have anything else to eat? I mean, we have these chocolates from Seattle. Let's do that. That's not chips and hail. Sorry. Sorry. We could just, you know what, let's just have, let's just have a chocolate. No, a rule is a rule. We can nibble on the chocolate while we answer a question. No, only if, only if we're going to rank it. Okay. We'll rank it. We'll nibble on it. I'll read the question while we're getting these distributed. Uh, just like a restaurant value feedback. We got, I just, I'm going to quickly just go. We got Fran's chocolate. We got, we got deep milk chocolate. Fran's blend dark chocolate. And then we got two kinds of other flavors. We're going to taste them all. Oh, and then Theo,

we got the Theo's. Uh, my friend, Adri is the chocolates here. That's dark chocolate, dark chocolate, milk chocolate. I mean, this is too much of days. Let's taste one. Yeah. No, no, no, no. We can't, we honestly, we can't do it because we get to try them against each other. We can't do it. Okay. Then we won't do it. We can have a gummy bear. No, those are my gummy bears. You need a wife, Mitch. I don't, I don't want to share my gummy bears. Those are my gummy bears. Those are my gummy bear. They're not on the table either. That's the real reason why we can't have them. I don't know what they are. Today's email comes to us from Corey and Delaware. You read this. I'm going to see if there's something in the fridge. I'll tell you that's

a dangerous thing. Corey writes, my question is related to birthday feasts as mine is tomorrow. And I have quite the agenda planned. I credit binging 100s. I credit binging hundreds of hours of dough boys for this idea for breakfast. I'm going to Chick-fil-A breakfast sandwiches for lunch, dinner, going to the Popeyes bucket, make some spicy dark and white with Cajun fries and red beans and rice for sides. I'll probably wrap up with a DQ treat for dessert, which brings me to the question. Have you ever had a birthday feast planned where you just pig out at multiple places throughout the day? Yes. If not, what's your dream chain day? Of course. Yes. Um, yeah, this is 100%. I think I do. Also, I would give you the gummy bears that

are on the table. They're not on the table. I went over and I got these boxes that were sent to me for my landlord for Christmas. They're there. There are a bunch of snacks in here and we can eat. We can eat these. I don't know what they are. All right, fine. Why are you so mad? This is weird. Why is it weird? I don't know. I know your landlord sending you snacks. He sends me snacks every Christmas. Okay, there's look at there's cookies. Okay, great. Bust them out. No, you just open them by. Did I do that by grabbing them? Okay. I mean, are you a big birthday person? Do you celebrate your own birthday? I shouldn't think of another way to say that, but no, there isn't one. I don't. I do eat. I do like eat a bunch of shit on my birthday.

What are you going to do? Well, I mean, obviously, not to, you know, retread ground here, but a raw seafood tower is a great birthday treat. These look nice. These cookies. They're like they're like mint Oreos, I think. I also have one of these. Yeah, I do really like like a standard birthday cake also. Yeah, I think like a yellow cake is wonderful. Boy, I'm really into the the whole thing at the point in the 2010s where I think where birthday became a flavor. Oh my God. I'm so in favor of that. I love birthday flavor anything. I don't like when you say my mouth is filled with cookie now. I don't like when you say birthday as a flavor. It is though. I mean, you're right. I guess you're right. You know,

you know what? You know what you're going to get when you see something that's birthday flavored. Mitch, do you have a big birthday week guy? This is such bullshit. And you're kind. You're also a I'm mad. I'm mad at you. I'm mad at you today. What else is new? Your birthday week guy, you have you have multiple occasions where you're gathering people together. One thing I know you like to do is, you know, you go to the son of pizza or some pizzeria. Nick never comes out for it. We go I've come multiple times. And people online too are like, he's mad. Nick doesn't come. I don't care that Nick doesn't come. It's fine. He eats you up inside. And I went this year. I have a blast without you. You hear me? I went. I think I've gone four of the past five years. There was one

year I missed and I had a very legitimate excuse. I won't be around forever, you know. Yeah, I know. Yeah, no shit. You should hang out with me while you can. Hey, tell your landlord thanks. Of course. These how what do you think of these? I think they're like a little like a thin mint metanorio. Yeah, they're yeah, they're kind of like soft. I think they're maybe a little stale. Yes. Well, Emma's Emma pulled them out. She said they're open, but I do think you open them. I think I might open them. By the way, I grabbed them. Yeah. I'll say this after an Anthony Davis air freshener flavored potato chip. These are amazing. Those are the most whack. That's a terrible chip. It's a fine chip. No, it's awful. I think these are also supposed to be a little softer

than Oreos is my guess, but I love a generic anything to like, Oh, do you ever go to the Bartiki tea? Oh, yes. Their party mix is like, it's like a captain planet of generic versions of snacks. And I fucking love it. It's like a Dorito where you don't recognize how thick that chip is. Right. It's oh, everything is off by like 10 degrees and it's so good. Fake Doritos are a lot of fun at our bar like the thicker weird Dorito is great. Those aren't bad. They're not bad for my birthday. I go to Thanos. I'll get pizza. I use. I use. I need pizza on my birthday. Pizza is my favorite food. So I'll always get some sort of pizza and then we go and see a movie, which I don't think you've ever come to one of those because that's after you have the

we go to pizza. Then we go see we go see a movie and I'll get a popcorn with butter and a large Coke. A lot of fun. That's that's my thing. I don't really. It's great. I don't really have a birthday tradition. You don't care about your birthday. Yeah, no, I don't make a bunch of a deal out of it. Emma is a fuck you make it. Okay, if you want to celebrate your birthday, that's fine. I don't care. I'm just not like a big birthday guy. I don't have a meal like a meal you go to for your birthday. So I will usually now we will take me out someplace that I like to a restaurant that I like. So like a hillstone. I love the hillstone family of restaurants. So yeah, I'll go to a place like a like a Houston's or a bandera. So that sounds like a celebration. Yeah, those are

super solid places. Yeah, I'll go I'll go to one of those. That's usually my go to. But beyond that, I don't really have I don't really have a standard sort of this is my birthday thing. This is my birthday routine. I think the cornbread at bandera is as close to a yellow birthday cake as you can get in savory food. Yes, that's a great observation. Thank you. That cornbread is great. It's so good. Dynamite. Yeah, comes in a skillet. My god, treat yourself. If you have a special. We should go back there. We should have gone there instead of the habit. What were we doing? We can't just review like high end sure we can. It's the new version. Think of this caviar. If you have a question or comment about the word chain, did you have an answer?

Yeah, I answered already. We're getting the landlord cookies. Oh, that's right. I like I like a cake. I like a fancy dinner. That's right. I don't do like a party. Okay. Yeah. Is your landlord the landlord from the original funny or die short? It's pearl. It's pearl. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Careful. Don't end up in the crypt. She's like 18 now or something. Oh, wait, I shouldn't have said that age specifically. I'm saying like she's like, isn't she like 16 or something by this point? She'd have to be. Yeah. She's no longer a baby. It would be a die will be sent to the crypt now. Wouldn't it be crazy if she was still a baby? I don't know. You know what? She could be. Yeah, maybe. If you have a question or comment about

the world of chain restaurant, she emails a don't waste podcast and email a comment. Has that ever happened? Has someone's locked in as a baby? Has anyone has anyone ever not grown? Been a forever baby? Yeah. I don't know if that specifically has happened, but there's certainly people who have like, you know, some sort of they don't grow mature, you know, I know one. Speaking about myself. 830. Go Doe. That's 830.4636844 to leave us a voicemail. And to get the Doe Boys double our weekly bonus episode during the Golden Orb Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Emmy Blotnick. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much for enduring. A lot of fun. Yes. What a hoot. A chaotic night, but a fun night. I think we should do, I think we should do too.

You think you should just roll right into another episode. Let's roll into another episode. I mean, what would you like to promote at this time? I have a stand up comedy album called Party Nights. It's on the streaming things. I think you'll like it. Hell yeah. Thank you. What streaming things? Spotify and iTunes and Amazon and, you know, the things where you stream music. Right. Yes. Unfortunately, you didn't mention Quibi, which is the only thing I have. You only have Quibi? I only have Quibi. How did you end up with just Quibi? It's not even out yet. It's a deal with my phone company. I only got Quibi. Wow. Oh man. Can you listen to an LP or is it just Quik, Quik Bytes? It's just, it's just the Quik Bytes. I can only listen to Quibi,

Quik Bytes. Oh man. Yeah. 10 minute episodes. Very fun. Yeah. The future of entertainment. For sure. Everyone will check that out. That rules. Yeah, check that out. I don't mean to step on your rat. No, no, no. It's all good. Thank you. Thank you guys for having me. This was a joy. Of course. Thank you so much for doing it. One of the funniest people around. And hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. And until next time, for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. On the next Doe Boys Double, The Dead Speak. Our former producer, Yu Song Liu, rises from his grave to discuss his culinary adventure through China. Plus, we answer your questions in another biggie

feedback. Get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Doe Boys. Sources for this week's intro are in the episode description.