Doughboys - The Pie Hole with Marcy Jarreau

Episode Date: April 12, 2018

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It sounds like a generic stand-in for the name of a big-box store used to clear legal on a TV show. But Fransmart is actually among the most influential forces in the American food service industry of the 21st century, a company built on the model of evolving beloved local eateries into international chains, often after convincing reluctant owners of the lucrative financial possibilities. Found in 2000 by Ben Rowe, a former bagel shop dishwasher who descended over see hundreds of the store's locations, Fransmart seeks to expand an array of dining brands and concert,

giving it logistical and structural advantages over the traditional model of one restaurant growing on its own. And while you may not recognize its name, you certainly are familiar with its portfolio. Five guys, Cudoba, Wolfgang Puck Express, and the Halal guys are among the brands it's spread across the country, like a Johnny Chainsede. And in 2015, this sort of fund-of-fund-of franchise has added a new investment, a Los Angeles bakery that had been drawing big crowds eager to sample its sweet and savory pastries. Opened in 2011 by Becky Grassley and her son Maddie, the business quickly became a beloved

local favorite both because of its traditional faves from Mama Grassley's home cookbook, as well as its more daring contemporary recipes like their signature Earl Grey cream variant. By the time of its partnership with Fransmart, this LA bake shop had locations across the city and south into Jason Orange County. It's since added even more SoCal stores, as well as one in Durham, North Carolina, and three in Tokyo, and it remains in the early stages of the franchise and company's ambitious goal of 200 locations worldwide. So will this pastry shop prove a sweet treat for Ben Roe and Co., or is this aggressive

expansion plan half-baked? This week on Doe Boys, The Pie Hole. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger. Alongside my co-host, literal manifestation of the title Eyes Wide Shut, Mitchy Two Spoons by Mitchell. That made me laugh, so fuck him. He's fine.

Or her. Or she's fine. That was courtesy of Brent Tremelling, or Tremelling. I'm sorry. I don't know how to say your name, Brent. But thanks for sending that. Send it at gmail.com. If you want to send in an insult for you and me to use on Mitch at the top of the show.

Yeah, sure. Send one in. Send them in. People send in a lot. We get more. By the way, what do you say? Johnny Cheney Seed or whatever? What the fuck was it?

Johnny Chane Seed. Johnny Chane Seed? That just sounds like a guy who's coming all over the place. It's the truth. Our guest is mad at me like he's a machine gunning a jaculate. What seeds would he have? The seeds are chain restaurants. Not least shooting ropes all across the continental US sounds like our guest will agree.

She's shaking her head. No, because she's agrees with me. Hold on. We'll introduce it a second because we get it. We let's get. We got. This is a fun one today. We're eating so many triangles last month and yeah, this month we're eating a different

type of triangle. Right. We had it. We ate so many circles carved up into smaller pieces last month and this episode we're kind of reading a different kind of circle carved up into smaller pieces. That's correct. Anyways, to Mitchie Two Spoons Nation, here is a drop. In terms of the mission statement of this podcast.

Wow. All right. I like that one. Little Mario fun in there. Ryan Inman. Good job, Ryan. Nice job. I've been a fan since day one.

Oh hey, how about that? Right. Find something else to listen to. This is bad it also says virus free. Oh hey that's nice. I don't know if that means Ryan himself or the drop. Hopefully both. Yeah.

Hopefully both. By the way, Mitch, you made such a big point of comparing my Johnny chain seed to some sort of making that into some sort of cum thing. Yeah. I think here comes a drop is what you say when you're about to nut. Here comes a drop. Oh you got me good. Small load man.

All right. Hey, let's introduce our guest from a Jillian dollar properties and a host of the podcast. She's still here. She's still here. She's not left from but Jillian dollar properties from but Jillian dollar properties and a host of the podcast. Cardish in it. Marcy Jaro is here.

Hi Marcy. Hi guys. Welcome to the show. What's the matter? We're going to have you problematic. I just wanted to say other stuff. I wasn't introduced yet. I was like, you know, when Mitch comes, he just says sorry mommy.

Oh, I hope mother's not listening to this mother. I'm so sorry. It's so sad when you when I'm like I'm like Bart Simpson when I'm young and then I grow up to be Seymour Skinner. That's what I grew up to be Nick. You think you're the man? I don't think you're quite Skinner. You're more of an auto type.

Yeah. All right. Did I ruin anything? No. Oh no. Okay. I just kicked. Oh, you were about to leave, but you were the headphones were on your head and it pulled

you back. I know I'm short person. My feet don't always touch the ground. So I was having some problems. I don't think of you as short. I know I seem tall. Yeah. I have a big personality.

Oh, okay. I don't think you're short. I my feet don't touch the ground. I have to like put my tippy toes. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can do it with one leg. They both don't touch.

I have to like lean into it. All right. How tall are you? Five four. Really? But mostly torso. The littlest legs. I wouldn't characterize as five four is short for a woman.

No, it's not. But I mean it's short for chairs. I get what you mean. Yeah. Mitch, maybe get some reasonably sized chairs. Maybe that's the problem. Fuck you. Fucking giant house made for ogres.

Marcy comes from a long line of women who love to roast the shit out of me. We were on a Harold team together at CBC Cooper Cooper, and I think even before we were on Cooper together you had no idea what your name was and I called you fart stomach. Yeah, that's right. I like met him in the green room of UCB because it was you and Pam Murphy. I believe right. Yeah.

Maybe we were doing like a bitch show and I immediately like zeroed in on Mitch to mock right. He has like a big target on him. Yeah. I know this by whole life. This is what says happened to me made fun of you. People have made fun of me. Yeah.

And also like sometimes like to the point where I think that I would get like they would hurt my feelings. Sometimes I get mad, but I don't you know for the most part it's been okay. Yeah. Like I don't think that has been bad, but forever a Charlie Brown type where people have always picked on me. But you know what? If it brings people some fun Nick, then it's all worth it.

I don't even enjoy it. I just feel like it has to happen. Like I don't want to do it. The work of God. Yeah. I'm just like you have to be put in a place. Part of it is you're very good natured about it. Kind of take you like you do have kind of thin skin at times, but for the most part,

you're a good sport. Think about me having thin oh my God. I've never met a winier person in my life. I used to babysit. What the fuck you do? What is this? No, but you mostly I mean you're you're you're fun to needle partly because you don't you like you will take it in goods.

I really have thought worse about myself than anyone's ever thought about. I hope so. I have once said something about you having squinty eyes and you act like I really insulted you like people don't say that to you every day. Do they not say that to you? I'm also a little manipulator. Good little Catholic boy. Mitch sees those squinty eyes every time he looks in the mirror.

At least he would if he could see his own reflection. You got me a vamp. What is this vampire shit? His eyes are too narrow right into escape. I was kind of hoping it was a vampire. He thinks his whole face is a magic eye. I can't see magic eyes. Yeah, I know why you only see the magic eye.

You don't see the actual fuzzy picture. My eyes are fine. It's a strong Mitchell trait. They don't need to fit your face. They fit your personality. You guys will see when they when the climate changes and there's more sun on my eyes are coming handy. You're going to blow your head off if any of that happens.

Sorry. Is that too dark? Not at all. No, but I'll kill Weigar first. That's for sure. Murder, suicide. I'm waiting for it. So Marcy, you and Betsy Sider have a podcast about the paranormal called

a funny feeling that Mitch was on recently as of this recording. Yes. It's about, this is a topic I'm very interested in and one that I know Mitch is particularly spooked by because we're talking about. Fuck you. We're talking about ghosts. We're still trying to make a DP demeaning. I'm not trying to demean you.

I'm saying you have a little bit of a fear of ghosts. If you're not scared of ghosts, then ask them to come here right now. Who me? I am afraid of them. I feel, I honestly think a ghost did follow me home one night. I got him out of here. I said, get out of here. You might have made the biggest mistake of your life because I also

interviewed a lady who married a ghost. Oh, that's right. Yes. So and she's happily married to a ghost. So she like a spirit. Sorry. I'm sorry. So she continues like.

It's kind of like Natalie's situation. Wait a minute. So she like kind of continues like her day to day life is like she wakes up and says good morning to her ghost husband. I wish I would have asked that specifically, but yeah, they have sex. That's crazy. They have more sex than Mitch ever has. Mommy, I'm sorry.

I've never said that. I've never said the mummy part. The first half. I'm sorry. Definitely. I'm sorry. So the go like beyond this, this, this ghost marrying woman. Yeah.

What it like, what is, where does the fascination with, with, with spirits with a paranormal come from? What is the, the source of your own personal fixation on that? Guess what, Nick? She believes in bugging ghosts. I do. Yeah. I believe in, I'm open to believing in anything.

Right. I'm kind of skeptical about anyone's personal experience, but like in the middle, I believe. Yeah. I'm Louisiana. I think I'm supposed to. Oh, okay. Like I'm just from a spooky place.

It's very hot down there. There's some stuff. There's some weird shit down there. There's all kinds of they got voodoo. We got. Yeah. I don't know. Like some call it hoodoo.

Well, that's a different religion. Oh, okay. I apologize. No, I conflated voodoo and hoodoo. Yeah. They're just two different. I said this about about New Orleans recently. It's crazy to have like a city that's like known to be like haunted and,

and like weird and have like weird occurrences. I think like the closest city to New Orleans like that would be in America would be like Savannah. Okay. Savannah is a haunted city, but yeah. What is that? Civil War stuff or what's going on? Why?

What happened? Well, the devil went down there after a fiddling competition. You know what I'm going to say about that song? I think I've said, I think I've made this point. Yeah. You love it. It's your favorite song. It's first of all, it's my number one song.

Second of all, I definitely have made this point, but the devil part of that song is better in the devil went down to Georgia. What do you mean? Mitch, if you say that again, he'll take your stop, but you're not going to scare me. He'll take your soul. You compliment the devil three times and he'll take your soul. He's rubbing his little hooves together down there.

Disappation, claiming that big, juicy Mitchell soul. I'll throw a salt lick at him and run away. The devil part of that song, like the base coming is like, and there's a little devil. Oh, I see. He beats Johnny. But he's not just doing it with a fiddle though. He is cheating.

That's the thing. He's cheating. He won you over with a false fiddle. Yeah, but I like that. He got a little flair going on with it. You're going to get, oh my God. When you don't go to heaven, your mom's going to be so sad. Sorry, mommy.

I'll go to heaven. Yeah, right. How would I not go to heaven? I'll first couple it in the devil too much. Here's a question. If you actually are in heaven and it's supposed to be eternal bliss. If you find out, say that your child is not going to be joining you in heaven, do you feel like a momentary?

Like, are you upset by that? Is that like a, like a grief that never goes away for all eternity? Or are do you like, when that happens, are you like, okay, well, they were not pure of soul. They belong in eternal damnation. Are you asking me or Mitch? I'm just asking. All the listen, all the Christian listeners.

I'm asking in general. I'm asking the whole. I think there's only one way to find out. We need to kill a child. Or I know a guilty child. Right. The problem. I might my suggestion is the problem.

Oh man. He causes too many problems. Oh, bad haircut too. I don't, I don't believe in like have been held in that way. Got it. Exactly. But that I believe in reincarnation too. Okay.

And that if you don't do great in this life and you just got to do it again, but not this one necessarily, but. Do you want to come back as like a bug or something? You could be if you wanted to. I don't want to be a bug. You get to choose. If I came back as a roach, let's suck. But then again, maybe as a roach, you wouldn't mind that much.

I mean, the lifespan of a roach isn't that long. So it's not like a lot of like. Yeah, but then one of it seems like a very long time. That's true. It's all about. Also, Freddie can turn into a roach. So who knows? Mitch, I would load if you turned into a roach because I could smoke you,

buddy. Oh my God. Can you make fun of him now, please? I don't know him well enough, but I feel gross. The double deuces kind of help though. I think we should go to a local church and ask a priest what he thinks. We should get a priest on the show. I think you're just happy.

There's not a disgusting little nasty soul like your sons in heaven. Yeah, I think there probably has to be. I mean, you must at some level be at peace with it, right? Or at least you eventually find peace with it. Yeah, or maybe you can visit them and hell. Oh, is there visitation hell visitation? It's going to be hot or cold down there depending on which. Yeah, what you hate the most.

Yeah, which I hate humidity. It's like a sauna. Oh man. That would be it for me. It would be hot. It would be all hot. Right. Suck.

My hell is just me running late. I'm always just late for a thing. That might be my heaven. Who I love. Mitch loves to control people in small ways. That's a good question, Liger, but we're going to have to have a priest on to answer it, because I don't know.

I think we should get a, I think we should get a Catholic priest on. Every week. I think we should get. And you should try wafers like the body of Christ. I've done it before. I've taken communion. I was raised a Episcopalian.

I was going to say we get a minister for my faith as well. And we can just sort of compare and contrast. You know, they can't take those wafers out of church. Really? Not allowed. That's a, but that's, that's specifically in the Catholic faith. Yeah.

Because they believe it is literally the body of Christ. Were you raised Catholic? Yes. Okay. Is that the big religion down in Louisiana? No. They would burn a cross right on my yard. Right.

A lot more evangelicals down there. Right. A lot of Baptists, Methodists, you know, full gospel. Yeah. What is that called? Convert. What is it?

Protestant. No, no, when they, when they, when they are mentioned. Is that what it is? It's something, but you're right. But you're right. Yeah.

Whatever you said. Yeah. You can't take the it'll bleed. No. That's not, but that's not what they're saying. I read a book about miracles and, one of the miracles was at the body of Christ blood,

and it still bleeds to this day. You know what I'm going to say? All those Catholic priests were innocent. Oh boy. Yeah. You're big of a keepers truth, right? Spotlight was fucked up.

Have you seen the keepers? Have you? No. What is the keepers? The keepers is a documentary on Netflix about the murder of this. Oh, yes. Catholic nun. Oh, I want to see no spoilers.

No spoilers. Okay. But they, so some of her students are grown, they're older women, and they started investigating like whatever happened to sister Kathy. Right. As they're investigating it. It kind of blows up in the world of a spotlight type environment. Geez.

That's cool. I mean, not cool. Oh, awesome. Hell yeah. Hello. That is a funny thing about like these documentary things where it's like, cool, making a murder. I was like, oh, there's a lot of people's, you know, lives at stake.

I will say though that like the, cause I, a few of our friends, I was talking about it with them and they're like, I couldn't watch past the second episode because it gets really rough in the second episode. And I said, you owe it to those women to at least hear their stories. They experienced it. You owe it to them to listen. You owe it.

That's a hard sell. Now, did you just guilt swagger nine to homework of watching the keepers? Yeah. It's a long one though, but it's good. It's good. There's some real salacious parts in it. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm what is what a crazy strange world that is, but what do you

mean? The world that Nick and I will probably join at some point and we'll go into the priesthood. No, no, we're not going to join the bad priests. What? We're not going to become bad priests. No. First you were complimenting the devil talking about your drippy jizz.

I never said anything wrong with you. I never said anything like that. You called it ropes. Men are disgusting. Why are you, you would go into the priesthood, right? I tell you, you got a wife, I guess. Well, yeah, I mean, I couldn't be a Catholic priest. I mean, I bring a wallet and I'm with me.

They already look like priests. There you go. Where are they? They're in my bedroom. I'm going to go scare them. You're going to scare them. I'm going to just bark like a dog. They probably will be fine with that.

I have like a big cat scratch mark on my yeah. Oh, boy. You're a cat parent as well. Oh yeah. My cat's a bad boy. Wait. Tell us about your cat. Well, I found him a year ago, a few days ago.

Yeah. A year ago last week, not when you guys hear this. So pretend. And I found him under a car. He's a real bad boy. He likes to attack me in a friendly way. But then he also likes to kiss and cuddle. He's like, he's like a, he's got, he's like a street cat.

He was a stray and he's got a little bit of the, the, the crazy street cat in him. Maybe. He also is like the most like cuddly. Like if you call him, he'll come and he fetches and he like, if I say, Bo, he'll like turn and come. Like he, he's very people focused. I gotta say this about mine. My cat's been a little mischievous lately.

Mischievous? Mischievous. Sorry. It's mischievous. I think either is fine. Okay. Mischievous. I like that.

That's better. Smarter sounding. Wally opening up draw. He's opening up like Jurassic Park when the raptors learn how to open doors. He's now learned how to open drawers. He can open drawers. Say draws. Draws.

He can open drawers. Draws. That's fun. Does he? Does he like to go through your master? Can't say it, but you can open them. It's master. I walk in.

I say your master's home. Go ahead. Why are you going to say? Does he like to go through your socks or unmentionables? Unmentionables. What the fuck? You know, those big flags you wear on your underwear. He goes through.

They'll go through everything. Wow. Just about through everything. Naughty. Just sort of on a playful way. They just like to mess around. Cause a mess. And the 50 pack of unused condoms I have.

Is that what you're talking about? Unmentionables. Yes. My cat's mischievous in this way that like as soon as I get on my bed to like go to sleep hill like or soon as as soon as both feet have left the ground and I'm fully on the bed, then he'll somehow have been under the bed the whole time and jump up to like attack me. Wow.

Bitch. And then he like, and then I'll like run away and be funny. But he doesn't actually do this with, he hurt me on accident because I was like, he jumped into my in the morning. He likes to jump into my arms. Yeah. So he like jumps into my arms. So he's cuddling on me.

And then I was trying to like make his breakfast while he kissed my neck. And I dropped the bowl and he went and just latched it to me. Oh boy. Wally has been jumping. He always like when I'm brushing my teeth and stuff, he'll jump on my back. But now recently he's just jumping on my back for no reason. And he's like, I think he's fascinated with the ceiling, but I'll just be walking around and he'll jump on my back.

It's not to me. I think it's just like they like to dominate. They're just like, got your bitch. No. First of all, your cat. Your cat sounds like Freddy Krueger. No. He's funny.

He's funny. Wally is, he's trying to get up to the ceiling. Maybe he's just trying to find some sort of escape from this house. He's like, please help me. The furniture's too big. It's made for. He's a good guy. I gotta meet him.

You will. So the, so from being someone from Louisiana. Yeah. The big, the big Eaton State, I'd say. I mean, specifically New Orleans talking about as an eating town, but I think it's a applicable to Louisiana and the Gulf Coast at large. We got a lot of good food. What is your favorite?

Like what are your, your, your food items of, of choice from down home? What are you looking for when you make that, when you pay that, that home state of visit if you still do? Um, I always love crawfish. Okay. I love boiled crawfish. I love seafood of all kinds. I'd agree of difficulty to eat, to eat that, that crawfish.

Only if you're a novice. Oh boy. When I was a little girl, my dad. Got roasted. Yeah. Well, my dad would, my dad would peel. Like I was too little. I was excited about getting roasted.

I got roasted. He laughed. Um, yeah. You pussy bitch. Um, um, so when I was a little girl, uh, I was like too little to actually peel it because it can be hard and like a little kid's skin or too, you know, soft. Right. Some fucking novice shit right there.

Yeah. I was a child. Um, I bet eight year old Marcy could still kill both of you, but my dad would like, my dad would peel it for me while he ate and he would peel it while eating faster than I could eat it. Wow. So like he would alternate him, me, him, me, you know, and like it would still be more than I could eat.

That's amazing. He was so fast. I've had crawfish before it is. It's not easy. It's not an easy thing to do. So props to you. The real hard thing is a crab. Eating a crab is hard.

Crabs are tough. No, you're talking like a king crab or like a blue, because I had the blue crabs are really tough. The blue crabs. Yeah. That's a lot of bone to meet or what it's shell to meet ratio. It's just like you have to figure out what parts to open right up crack open, like and where you can dig using the claws to dig the meat out and stuff.

Yeah. It's a messy like for women who like spend so much time getting dressed and have big hair and beautiful makeup, like that you can watch the women really like dig into that shit. Right. Oh, Mickey. I love a messy mama. You do have a mommy fetish right now.

What is this mom stuff you're pushing on me? I just know that you love your mommy. I love my mom. Yeah. You love your mommy. I love my mom too. Yeah. I love your mom.

She's great. I love my mom. But my mom doesn't like me that much. Why is that? I don't know. I like recently said I was like of all your kids, I think I'm the most like you and she was like, no, I'm not. What are you saying?

You're lying. You're being weird. I gotta go. Like she got upset. Wow. She left the house. I wasn't with her. I wasn't with my mom.

I think she was so moved by that that she had to remove herself from the situation of the process it. I think she doesn't like Marcy. You roast her like you roast me for God's sake. Yeah. She's a dumb bitch. No. I like her.

She's fine. What is your what is your sibling count? There's three of us. There's three of you. And honestly, I really shouldn't be in the lead. You guys, I'm not going to talk about it, but there's a lot of reasons why I'm not doing worse. But whatever.

There's me and my sister. My mom likes my sister better. I'd say. Yeah. Good choice. Yeah. What about you? She's like successful and like owns a house, has a family, has two kids.

So yeah. I think they like him. I mean, they should like him better. You're successful. You have a wife. Like you could have a house and kids in a year. Yeah. I guess.

I mean, well. You could also be in a shallow grave. Yeah. I think either one is just. Honestly, you're just being a loser. If you don't have a wife and kids in here, I mean, like a house and kids and a wife. If your wife leaves you this year, you're a loser. Yeah.

I mean, that might happen. I would say I would say like. A great year for her. Yeah. Hey, more power to her. What I lack is initiative. That's the thing. I feel like you have to have some initiative and I don't have like.

Nick, we're going to make you fall in love with comedy again. Yeah. I'm over it. I've been over it for a while. Comedy stupid. Yeah. It's boring. What the hell is this?

I'm all like true crime. You know what I say? You got to make them laugh. You got to make them laugh. It's fun to make them laugh, Nick. It is fun to make them laugh. Like singing in the rain. That's a really funny movie.

Let's say Anchorman. Singing in the rain. Macroober. Yeah. Macroober. That's the big three. Macroober is one of my favorites. Hey, that's a lot of laughs packed in there.

So wait. So outside of the shellfish, what else do you love? What else do you crave from down in the? I do love a good jambalaya. Oh yeah. You know what? Jambalaya is great. I will say Popeyes does a really good beans and rice.

I love their red beans and rice. That's what my favorite. That's one of my favorite fast food sites. I get it every single time I go to Popeyes. I asked if I could do it, but... What do you want from me? Also, canes. They do have a canes out here.

Yeah. Yes. This is the one you really want. I really want, but it's too far away. I mean, if you ever go on a field trip, though, and you don't take me, I will come to your house and kill your cats. That's Marcy. That's fucked up.

I will fucking drown them. Everyone you're hearing me, hold me to this. I will defend the cats with my life. I'm going to do it while you're at Canes without me is what I'm saying. You have to kill me if you want to get... You're going to have to kill me if you want to touch them. You'll die on the way home after I call and tell you while they're screaming in the water. Marcy.

Jesus. I'm kidding. I love cats now. Yeah. No shit. You know what? I put the cat curse upon you. What does that mean?

They just nodding. I'll see you in the water for a few minutes. But yeah. I tell you, you're invoking devil... Invoking curses. That's devil talk. She's from New Orleans. You should deal with it.

I'm sure you had a curse every other week. With your attitude down in New Orleans, you're probably getting cursed left and right. Sweetest pie. Speaking of. Speaking of. But yeah, I like Canes. Caned chicken fingers. I love it.

Have you guys not had it? I've never had it. This is a... To me, this is at least a new to me chain in the past few years. Has it existed for a while? Let's see. I worked at one of the first franchise stores when I was in high school. I think it was the sixth store they had ever had.

Oh, wow. Okay. But it was in the 90s at LSU, like an LSU late night staple. Right. So it hasn't been around for that long? No, no, no. That's something that's been around for even 30 years. It's like truly...

These college students were like, let's start a business. Right. And they started a chicken finger late night on government street down there, like where all the bars are around LSU. And this guy, his name was Stuff. I think he's passed since then, but the guy, his name was Stuff. And he did the commercials, Raisin' Canes, Chicken Fingers. And he was their cook.

Right. And then kind of a local celebrity. And so it was really small. And then in my adulthood, I've seen it blossom. Wow. So it's like... We gotta try it. It's a cool place.

And also the owners, I don't think are related to me, but they do have the same last name as my mom. So like... Whoa. Oh, crazy. The Graveses. But they're also philanthropists and like, they're good people and they like, all holidays are off and stuff.

That's the hardest, which we always come in the issue with a lot of these changes that are nice. So that's nice to hear. A lot of bad men in charge of these companies. Also, Wally and Irmick can breathe underwater too, by the way. They're fish. They have powers. I'm not going to kill your cat, but I'm just saying I'll go to Raisin' Canes.

If we go to Raisin' Canes, well, I'll at least remember to think about you. I'm scared now. No, bring me. What is the... What are the... What's your order from Raisin' Canes? What are the things to get for someone who's over there? You get a regular box, no slaw, extra toast.

Can I have a cane sauce and a honey mustard sauce? Cane... What is a cane sauce? It is basically... McDonald's has ripped it off. Whoa. McDonald's fucking stole the recipe, which isn't that hard. I think I might have signed an NDA, but it's pretty easy to figure out.

It's basically like a ketchup, mayonnaise, pepper, oyster sauce, concoction. Okay. But it's... Wait, what did McDonald's steal it and used it as? On their new chicken select things. Oh, okay. Their new sauce, they fucking stole Cane's recipe. And it's not a Chick-fil-A sauce on there, it's specifically the cane sauce?

No, it's not any of the Chick-fil-A sauces. Wow. None of them are like... I don't know what this new sauce is, but I want to try it, obviously. Yeah, I'm intrigued. You'll try it, and then when you do finally go to Cane's, when you go to Downey... Oh, God. I love going to Downey.

Downey's not that far. What are you talking about? I used to live right next to Downey, growing up. It's not far from here. Yeah, that's far. What the fuck are you talking about? Once I had a bad day and I went down there, so I was like, I'm gonna get some raisin canes.

Yeah, you get no coleslaw, because no one wants to eat coleslaw, and you get an extra piece of Texas toast. These are all the places that Sublime sings about. Garden Grove? Garden Grove, Downey, all these fucking places that are down sound. Hey, man, that's my culture. No, it's not. He'd hate you.

Also, it's funny. I was thinking about that, like, you know, like, I look, I like the guy, too. I think he was a very talented who name him. Do you like him so much? Brad Noel. Thank you. He was like, he was the type of guy who to impress girls. He'd be like, hey, check this out, and he put his thumb in his dog's asshole.

Do you know that? I didn't know this. Brad Noel. I don't like that story. I know you love it. I know. No, I don't. I was trying to say, like, people look at him as like, like, you know, every time

you do to your cats. No. What the fuck? What's Mitch Brad? Noel is the one who stuck his. What's the source on this anecdote? Tim Kelpakis told me you can't believe him. He Tim Kelpakis told me that Brad Noel's shoved his thumb up his dog's ass, and

you know that is. That's Louie dog. The one he sings about. Is it a pit bull? Sometimes people put their finger in a dog's asshole to make a pit bull release his jaws. Maybe. Hmm.

No, it's not. It's a Dalmatian. Nasty. Nick. Have you found some? I anything to support this? I googled. Look, the Brad Noel thought.

Once again, it was in your it was in your cookies. Brad Noel dog asshole. It was my Google search. The most weekly perhaps is a biased local publication that perhaps is suppressing the truth, but it has no mention of this anecdote. It is. Is that what you search? Five classic.

Yes. Five classic stories about sublime's mascot Lou dog and none of them involve putting a thumb up a dog's booty hole. You text him and ask him to prove this. Did Brad Noel. Hey, you know what third, third rink or third link, they're not third rink, third link. Jonah Ray talking about sublime on the AV club. All right.

So yeah, if you search for a you search for Brad Noel dog asshole, link number three will be our good friend Jonah Ray. Congrats Jonah. Congrats Jonah. Well, I will say that the dog outlived him by five years. Oh wow. Poor Lou dog. What did Louie do?

I wonder what happened to Louie dog Lou dog. Well, Miguel Hapolt took care of him. Yeah. And then he got hooked on heroin. Oh my God. Jesus. What else do I like from Louisiana? I don't know.

Everything. I love boot and balls. Wait, what's that? Boot and balls. Wait, what's a boot and ball? It's like, it's you probably had it. I'm probably just saying it a way that makes you feel nervous. It's like boot in balls.

Okay. Yeah. And it's just a dirty rice. So I keep hitting them like a dirty rice ball that's deep fried. Oh wow. It has like different like it can have like shrimp or crawfish or alligator or whatever inside of it. Oh, so it's savory.

The way you were describing it, I thought it was a dessert. No, it's a dirty rice ball deep fried. Wow. Are there any, are there any sweet treats from, from, from down there that you like? I have my favorite, favorite, favorite cake that I can't find anywhere else. And I've like, I had a friend in New York actually try to get a baker in Queens to recreate this. Yeah. And it's called a dough barge cake and it's spelled D O B E R G E.

And it's this German cake that has like thin layers of cake and thin layers of like this silky, it's not like a pudding, but it's like this silky icing and like just like 20 layers of alternating. That sounds fantastic. That's like a ganache on top. Wow. And that was like our family. That's what we get for birthdays for everyone's birthday.

Right. My grandfather liked it. So that was like the cake and you really can't find it outside of like Louisiana. Right. Really? Yeah. That's because the only, the only, I mean, I've certainly heard of some of the, the, you know, the French confections, the French inspired confections down there, but the,

the only cake specific I can think of down in, in Louisiana is the King cake. Yeah. I had King cake with RL Stein. Whoa. Wait, what? Yeah. I brought my, I had a, I had a King cake shipped to me in New York and I had King cake with RL Stein.

Wait, why were you with RL Stein? I guess I met him on Twitter and told him I would bring him a King cake. Oh really? And then he obliged. What the hell? So I went to his big ass mansion. Did he, did he, oh really? He's got the mansion.

Well, it's like a classic six in New York where it's like when it's big, like it's basically the whole floor of the building and I went there with a friend and had King cake with RL Stein. He just lets random people into his, into his mansion. I don't think he, I don't think he does, but for some reason he did. Right. And he was like, bring a friend so you're not scared. Do you ever write a, write afterwards that you write some sort of scary King cake story?

Poisoned. Poisoned in the bayou. And it was like my wife's calling to make sure you're not weird. Wait, really? Yeah. Did you talk to, did you talk to his wife? No, he went when, cause it was just him at his house. Oh, okay.

My friend. So he's like, that's my wife's calling. She's calling to make sure you're not weird. That's very funny. This sounds like he's got a straight, there's an eccentric life this guy has. Yeah. He started off as a joke book writer, Jovial Bob Stein. Really?

Yeah. I met Bob Stein at the New York Comic Con one time. Jovial Bob Stein? No, this was scary RL Stein. Oh, RL. Yeah. He's not scary though. He's, but what's going on upstairs is scary.

Cause he's concocts some scary stuff. Monster slime. Is that what it was? What? I was more into the Fear Street books. Oh, okay. Nick, you were, you started Night of the Living Dummy as we've. You started it.

Look, I'd never read any of the RL Stein books. I was it. RL, RL Stein might be the author I've read the most. Me too. I mean, I think that's how I like started to talk to him. I was like, I have, I as a kid had 67 books of yours. So you were just adding him and he was just like getting engaged. Yeah.

It was kind of like earlier Twitter. Okay. It was, I want to say like maybe 2009 or 2010. Oh, okay. So kind of in the wild West days when it was like kind of a novel thing for a celebrity to connect directly with their fans, maybe someone like him who maybe didn't have as what much fan interaction as some other. I mean, you would be surprised cause the Twitter generation, the people who were on Twitter

when it started, that's all of his kids. Oh, wow. Think about like the people that age group. Right. I've, I've. Wait, they're like, not literally his kids. Yeah. He fucked them all.

Oh my God. He's a nasty dude. He's going to write a scary book about it. I love some people with fingers in his hands. I texted Tim Calback. Yes. I said, how did you hear that Brad? No, but his thumb up Lou dogs ass.

He said, haha. Hmm. I forget who told the story. Hmm. I said proof. I'm going to report it to do boys. Anything else you want to say? And then he said he did it to prank people like, hey, look, and he lifted the tail and

popped his thumb up there and they said, well, I do want to say and dot dot dot. Now I'm waiting for what he has to say. You should have waited to tell us. I know. I thought it was going to be sent by the time I that about a time I finished. Mitch, I got to say this sounds apocryphal. Really? I think this is perhaps as fictitious as RL Steins works.

Maybe it was RL Steins. Sorry. The maybe he may be our whole time. It's those. It is a spooky scary thing. Scott punk singer who put his thumb up his dog's ass. Oh, I hope he washed well after that. That's bad.

Yeah. That's gross. That's just unhygienic, but also it's kind of animal cruelty. That's bad less a dog, better, that shit. I mean, I'm gonna just say that's bad. Yeah, unless the dog was in there, yeah. In which case he's doing a favor, I like dog. I don't know what dogs sound like anymore to have again.

Hey, a little bit of chicken in there. Yeah. Yeah. No no responsibility. But I will tell him okay. Keep us updated. So we're we're going to talk a pie a little bit this episodesey. Are you a big because you were mentioned you were talking

desserts a second ago, where does pie rank in your dessert hierarchy? Better than cake or worse than cake? Honestly, I would have said like a year ago, like who cares about pie? Wow. But I really turned the corner. Wait, why? I felt like it was such like a holiday food. Sure.

And then I think, well, maybe it was a couple years ago, but then I started really getting into pies. I love the crust of the pie so much. I don't know. So I turned the corner. Now I really do like pie. But it wasn't one specific event that really persuaded you. Maybe I baked a pie and it was good.

I don't know. Tim has chimed in. Okay. I recently revisited Sublime and I think they are great band. You just have to listen to it through the lens of these guys are 25 year old morons. But the guy wrote great melodies and he's pouring his dumb heart out. Listen to seed. It's great.

What does that have to do with the dog's asshole anecdote? I don't know. He did that. That's what he wanted to say. He just wants to get in his music criticism secondhand. He's probably crying. Kelpaca, start your own fucking audio podcast where you can blow me about rock and roll. But yeah, pies.

I think I got into them. Yeah, it was like, I don't go home for the holidays anymore. Right. So I just will not. I'll go home on off weeks because I refuse to let my family ruin every holiday of mine. God bless them. They don't act that crazy when I'm not home. But at the holidays, they act at their truly they're acting as worse.

The worst they possibly could act. So I don't go. Is there some alcohol involved? I mean a little bit for some of them, but it just is a thing. Don't you think everyone's families are terrible at the holidays? Everyone acts a little crazy. So but I would still like want to make like my grandmother's pumpkin pie. Sure.

She makes it like real pumpkin and stuff. Okay. So I'll do that. I think like that's when I started being like, pies are pretty easy to make. And they're fun. Yeah. What is your favorite pie to make on your own? And then what is your favorite pie to eat?

I made a sweet potato pie. Oh, Thanksgiving. And I was like, people always like are like pumpkin versus sweet potato. And I would normally have said pumpkin, but I had a potato pie that was working good guys. It was really good. I don't love pumpkin pie. I think it's just a little. It can be a little.

You have it had the one that I make and I make it with fresh pumpkin. Cut a pumpkin in half and I put it in the oven. I mean, I've been a full pumpkin before. You've eaten a full pumpkin. The birthday boys. We went out on stage and we ate a pumpkin. A raw pumpkin. Yeah.

Did you get sick? It was not fun. I almost puked. Yeah, I will say as an audience member that was a really fun bit for like two minutes to see that you guys were actually eating an actual pumpkin and then everyone just got worried because you all just seem to get so physically ill. Are they going to be poisoned? Yeah.

I mean, you that's what you feed animals when they're sick, right? Right. It's pumpkin. Oh really? Yeah. Why is that? It's soothing to their stomach. But my favorite pie.

Sweet potato pie. I don't eat too much. It's really good. It's and it's such an easy thing to make because sweet potatoes are very readily available everywhere. Right. You just mash them all up. But I like a pot pie.

Chicken pot pie. Oh yeah. That's a good one. If you're going to stay in savory country. Hell yeah. Chicken pot pie. But I've never made one. Right.

Yeah. I feel like that's a difficult thing to make from scratch. That feels like a hard. It feels like a hard thing. I've never made a pie that has the Dutch. Is that what that's called? Oh that Dutch topping? Yeah.

I've never done that. Yeah. That's a I mean, you get that done right. I think that's a real treat. Yeah. I don't like a Dutch apple. How's the boy who puts his thumb in a pie? Jack Horner.

It's Jack Horner. What's he doing? Jack Horner. And puts his thumb and he puts his thumb in pie? I've heard it like this. Little Jack Horner sits in the corner eating his pumpkin pie. Stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum and said, what the fuck is a plum doing in a pumpkin pie?

I think you heard the Dice Man version. I really do think that's what I heard when I was held. Was I when he was popular? Yeah. Four. My parents went to Vegas to see Andrew Dice Clay when I was probably like five or six. Yeah. When I came back, I knew a whole routine.

I used to do the smoking the cigarette with your arm around your head thing. Oh yeah. That's a fun move. I fucked him. Oh, like that's baby Marcy. Right. My mom was really into dice play really into the dice. It's funny because I I never got into Dice Man too much,

but then there seems to be people who do respect him a lot. It's he's an interesting weird one. My brother had a Andrew Dice Clay tape that I was too scared to listen to that he copied. I was a loser. I just scared. Yeah. I would just go into his room and look at it.

What did you think would happen? Hold on a second. You go into the room and look at the tape. Yeah. I looked at the cassette tape. And then like ran away. Yeah. And then they like put it back.

You are such a cowardly. My brother and I used to make tapes of us doing improvised stand up basically. And it was always like us doing like rough sounding cigarette voices and really just going after my sister. We didn't like her. Oh man. I was mostly just as being like a little bitch right now. I wish I still had some of those.

The Jack or sister the we were not nice. I mean she was not nice either. It was fair. It was all fair. Sounds like she shouldn't go home for Christmas. I was the baby. You can't blame me. Yeah.

I'm the baby too. Got to love me. Nick gone. I was. I was just going to say the Andrew Dice Clay Limerick. I remember. Well, it wasn't a Limerick, but the poem. I remember was Jack and chill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Did you just say the regular? I said the actual nursery. No, you're you're. This is what you ran. This is what you ran and listened to when you were afraid to listen to the dice version

of it. This is the way it's supposed to be. It was it was Jack and Jill went up the hill and have a little fun to have a little fun. Wait. Do you know the rest of it? Yes. Stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son. Okay.

That's a different one. The one I heard. What's the one? What is the one you heard? The one I heard. I know it. The one I heard was that though. That one's that one's very good.

That's like really good. The one I heard was you can quote Andrew Dice Clay. What the fuck is going on here? I like it. The one I heard was like Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill had like three like a dollar and then Jack came down with it. I was something like stupid Jill forgot. No, wait.

The one I had the implication was that Jill, that Jack had some money and that he gave it to Jill in exchange for some sort of sexual favor and that Jill came down the hill with that money. That sexual favor having been performed. But I don't remember how it was written. Oh my God. Look, Tex Calpakis. Figure it out.

He's not going to know this. Do you want me to text him to see if he does? Yeah. See if he knows that Dice Vanity. Yeah. I probably watched that too little though. We got HBO when I was like in third grade. So I was like watching all of it.

Yeah. We never had HBO in my house. My parents never got paid channel. Remember watching Dream On as it was on HBO. The show had nudity. A lot of it. Yeah. I loved it.

Dream On you say. Okay, let me check this out. Mitch loves nudity. You're going to watch a 20 year old TV show to see some nudity. Oh yeah. This middle age guy can have sex so can Mitch. The one thing I heard about Andrew Dice Clay from a stand up friend who opened for him is that he insists that his openers work clean, which is crazy.

That's interesting. But it's because, you know, his act is so dirty and he doesn't want anyone to do anything dirty in front of him because he doesn't want to be like, you know, he doesn't want the crowd to be like exhausted with all these sex jokes and all these lewd raunchy references. The thing is that hamstrings your opening act so much because the kind of crowd that goes to pay Andrew to see Andrew Dice Clay and then you're up there doing your sort of, you know, your TV safe type five, they're not going to respond well to that. So you're kind of set up for failure.

Maybe that's what he likes. Oh, he's into that shit. Wait, what? What? What? What are you talking about? If you're not going to pay attention. I always take some big out packets.

What the hell are you talking about? Just rewind the podcast and listen to it again, Mitch. Just tell me the subject. I was listening. I said Andrew Dice Clay makes his office work clean. The Bradley boys should have gotten a gig over at one point. Oh boy perform. We've got to eat that pie for a bunch of drunk 50 year olds.

Hey, yeah, we got a pie sketch. You know what? You know what I think about pie hole? Mm-hmm. It should be called cupcake hole. Okay. Mitch has this theory, this wild batshit theory that cupcakes are not cake, but they're actually pie.

Mm-hmm. He's wrong. I agree. Why do you? Everyone agrees. Explain it, Mitch. Quit texting. I had that text.

Take out packets. We have to get to the bottom of this, but. Uh, why are cupcakes pies? Look. Cupcakes are more like pie than they are cake. Did you go to college? 2005 and a half is a good college graduate. Okay.

What's that half all about? Yeah, you graduate a little bit. You did December graduation. I did. Yeah. I did a little summer. I was a December graduation as well. Mm-hmm.

Yep. I was at Disney World College Program. Oh, how was that? Was that fun? It was very bad. Oh, really? I mean, it was fine, but it's just like slave labor. Oh boy.

What a bummer. Yeah. They don't, the college students probably don't get to do too much fun stuff, right? Is it a lot of like the acting and stuff as people they hire who are out of school is my guess? I know. I mean, you could audition for that, but like you have to be a certain height usually or like, like it's all about like do you, like they basically just go down the line

and measure you to make sure you fit the appropriate character and they measure your face and your eyes and stuff. So they're like, because they can put makeup on to make you look like anything, but they can't move your eyes. So they're like, you have to, there we go. That's them. There we go. You could be a Cinderella.

Crazy. I heard they measure your dick too. Oh, fuck. I would. I would be out of a job. No, you'd fit right in those suits. They want a little dick in a suit, because if you like tickled tickers belly, guess where that is?

That's his dick. That is. That is his dick. Oh God. There's a there's a smoke outline where Weiger once was he's ran off to sign up for this. You're saying the kids will tickle right where your dick is? All right. We'll take a break.

We'll be back with more dough boys. Welcome back to dough boys. The pie hole is our chain. Marcy Jarrows, our guest. Mitch, before the break, we were texting with our good friend Tim Calpakis. I said, Weiger wants to know if you know the Andrew Dice clay bit about Jack and Jill and Jill coming down with money for sexual favors. Uh-huh.

He said, I do. I said, can you tell us what it is? Or do you have anything you want to say? Do we have to wait for it? About the Dice man? No, he got it. We got a response from him. Okay.

And Tim said, I dislike him. It's something like they went up the hill each with a dollar. When they came down, Jill had two bucks, baby. That's what he said. That sounds about right. That sounds right. He also says, I've recently got back into Andrew Dice clay and he's pretty good. You should listen to his album, the Dice man cometh.

I don't even know if that's a real one. I made that last part up. Is it really? I don't know. It sounds real. It does sound real. I bet he has an album by that name. Well, that's interesting.

We got that cleared up, Mitch. All right. So the why? Yeah. Marcy, you've got your pie fandom across. Yeah. Is that the motivation for picking the pie hole for your chain to discuss this week? Well, you guys have done a lot of James.

We have done a lot of James. It's really hard to find one. There we have. But I also was at the Americana recently. Now I was like, to my friend, I was like, should we go to pie hole? And they were like, no. And then I went there literally the next day and I was like, should we go to pie hole? And they were like, no.

And I was like, I guess I just really want some pie hole. And yeah, it's like it's been cold. It had been cold and rainy. So like it's a comfort food. Have you been there in the past? Yeah. I went there because people were talking about pie. I was like, I don't like pie.

And then I was like, wait, yes, I do. And I secretly went to Hollywood. I went to the Hollywood location. Had to find a parking spot to go get some buck and pie. Oh boy. It's really great. Well, I think we're not doing that part yet, but I like it. I have known about the pie hole for a long time.

Me too. The Arts District location is one that was, maybe it was, it's one of the first in LA for sure. I think that might be the original. Yeah. Yeah. And I went there years ago. Like when it was first opened with Armin took me down there. I'm an whitesman.

I brought, I bought some of the pies there, notably the, I'll say this, the menu has changed. And now it looks like they do a seasonal menu, which is kind of annoying because they had so many good pies down there, but it was specifically used to be called the maple custard pie. Okay. Which now is the salted honey custard pie Friday through Sunday. The maple custard pie was is so good. It was the first time I had it. It was amazingly good.

There was like another chocolate pie that was like this kind of like the mech. Well, I got a slice of Mexican chocolate spoiler alert. There was another one that was a kind of like a thicker one, but there's now a brownie pie, but there was like one that was thicker chocolate that was so, so good. So there's a couple of things that are that have changed up about the place, but I have always been a fan of it. Yes. How much fan we'll find out.

Yeah. Yeah. It opened my eyes to pie quite a bit. It's a fairly new chain. Yeah. I mean, 2011 is my understanding of when it opened. Okay. That's probably around when I went to the first one.

Yeah. And it's very quickly, it's expanded a lot, and now it looks like it's going to really be expanding. You know, as I mentioned in my intro, this company, Fran Smart, it's partnered with, which basically its whole business is taking these chains and turning them into gigantic, digging these, sorry, these local spots and turning them into gigantic chains. And they have a really ambitious plan for the pie hole. And I'm curious to see how scalable it's going to be because the thing is treat shops, I

feel like don't have a lot of staying power, right? Like, I feel like there's a few exceptions. Like Baskin Robbins has been around for a while. Cinnabon has like made itself into a staple of food courts and airports and whatnot. But beyond that, I mean, I feel like Yogurt Land was kind of had its, you know, and Pinkberry kind of, they had had that little bit where they spiked and now they're kind of declining a little bit. I feel like we've seen the same arc with Cold Stone.

I'm trying to think of an equivalent pastry shop, like a place that does cake and pie that's been able to go nationwide and stick around. I can't think of one. Not one that's also not like part of like a friendlies or, you know, something like that. But yeah, that's the traditional way. I think it's like, Oh, Marie calendars is maybe the closest. And that's like, that's primarily a restaurant that has pies.

So yeah, it'll be interesting to see if this one is able to. I got a lot of thoughts about that too. I mean, like already the packaging is different than it used to be. It's kind of, they've, they've kind of have packaging for mass producing stuff now. Like it's, it's a very, it's, it's different because they usually just give it in little brown boxes back in the day with the pie hole sticker on top of it. This was, yeah. Go on.

No, I just, it's funny to see this is, this is a place that like, yeah, they put, they still have the sticker on it, but the packaging is completely different than it used to be. They have this, this pseudo ecological cardboard slash plastic hybrid to go container. I gotta say, Nick, I mean, besides being a cool dude who gets in on the food trends early, what you guys didn't like that? You look at me like it was bad. I thought you were going somewhere. I saw you.

I went to you mommy burger, the week it opened and I went and I've been going to pie hole since it opened, yeah, and it's weird to see and it's, it's interesting right now to see pie holes, the beginning stages of that. Does it feel like a band that you really liked and now it's getting popular? You're like, because their first album was really good. I know I never was that I mean like when, because I also like like, I mean, also I never liked bands like, I like Dave Matthews band or something. Oh, they sold out man.

No, I loved before these crowded streets. I thought their fans became annoying, of course, and kind of always were yeah. Well, his wine is too expensive, man, wait, that's so funny that you really like Dave Matthews band, because I literally wrote a short film that I cast you in and that's one of your lines, that's right, and I didn't. I don't think I knew that. I just thought you're the, I just thought this is the type of guy I'm trying to write. That's why Mitch said yes. He was like, she really gets me, because I said,

do you really watch Dave Matthews band five times in concert? Yeah, and I think I've been thinking in real life. I've been to it more than that, but also I like Pink Floyd more than Dave Matthews, but they're dead, not they're just Sid Barrett is dead, and then what's his name? The the keyboardists they are dead. Anyway, piehole is an interesting one because it's in its take off phase, right, and still in its ascendancy, and I like there's little things that have changed about it that annoy me, but I want the consistency to stay. I don't know if it

will like please don't become a frozen pie ever. Sure. Yeah, well, I'll give my impressions. I'll lead off actually, because this was my first visit. Yeah, this is my maiden, and I gotta how if you know about it, since it opened, you never went with the fuck. It seems hard to get to right. I mean, I mean, the arts district. You love the choo choo fucking get down there. There's one in Venice. There's one pretty close to me. It's it's it's not far there. They're there. Locations Venice live in Santa Monica. How the hell do you come here? I mean it took an hour, but it's fine. You you come all the way to Mitch's dark

little house. Look, this is a source of income. I consider it a commute for also. Do you think Nick wants people over his house? I would welcome you in my. I bet he's a couch. I know you're not going to couch matches his shirt. We have a lovely, a lovely solid couch that my wife, you would record double is at your house. You think you would not. You wouldn't. You would never show up. I mean, first of all, yes, there's no way on fucking earth. We're going to Weiger's house to record this and all your guests live within like a three block radius. Another reason that it's good to do it here, but no, but the the look. It

makes a lot of sense that to do it here for a number of other fucking assholes online like Mitch, you know, on Weiger's house. They should train off every week. I don't mind recording here. It's fine. What kind of card do you have Prius? No, fine. You're fine. It's fine and I can take it. I can take the train here. If I want to bust you drive. I drove a drive an Nissan Altima. Oh, give a bike rack on the back of that bad boys. I never had a bike on the back. Actually, the bike rack is actually inside the back. It's in the back seat now. Oh, okay. That's nice, made parking

a little easier on yourself. Also, it's not easy to host a podcast here every week. Yeah, he had to clean up. You can just leave the equipment out and it'd be fine. That's not true. You think while they'd have a field day with this too many wires. I didn't think about the cats going crazy for the wire. They're like, let me pretend that's a snake for a while. They'd start recording their own podcast called Bitch and Bout Mitch. The podcast. Oh, yeah, that's adorable. Thank you. Maybe I'll start it. But no, this is my first visit of the pile. It is a place I could have gotten to earlier. If there's a reason I haven't, it's

because pi is very heavy and I try to really pick my spots when it comes to sweet treats. I am very much an ice cream man. Ice cream is my favorite. I'm just gonna say that you're setting up to get me steaming mad in this episode. I'm saying if I if I'm going to go to have that sort of indulgence, I would usually opt for ice cream or maybe a donut versus something like pie or cake. Yeah, I love donuts, but they that's like a like a once every couple weeks thing. But anyway, donuts, one of my favorite foods. Oh, it's a little season. That's nice. Come here, boy. Try a nice icy donut. Hey, a homer. Your

wife is named Marge. All the season one dialogue was just all exposition. That's a quote from season one. Hmm, Simpsons. Hey, back to work with you. Hey, a homer. Did Lisa do her homework? The highly holy homer is Bart there. Just asked if Bart was home. The early shorts and shorts have like them like it's like all about like Marge putting them to bed. Have you seen? She's like, yeah, good night Lisa. Good night Bart. Like that's all it is. Yeah. And then she sings like rock a bye baby to Maggie. Yeah. And Maggie has a nightmare about it.

It's like five minutes of shit that turned into the biggest TV show of all time. Also like home like Bart is like seven feet tall. Bart's haircut makes him about seven feet tall. Anyway, yes, but did we go on that tangent because you said donuts? Yes, I'm an idiot. Anyway, you got mad about ice cream earlier. I don't know why. Well, because look Nick texted me yeah and said, oh man, that was so heavy. It was very heavy. Oh, that was so heavy. We got we went and got Taco Bell afterwards. We did. So if it was so heavy, why the fuck did you go get Taco Bell after we need something cave or savory to cut out all these

sweets? You should have gotten a savory pie. We did get a savory pie and let me tell you, it was a real low light. Let me get through my rundown. So went to the pie hole in Venice. Titey, which was the first pie we ordered was not in the system yet. And so during checkout, they couldn't ring it in. This was seriously like a 10 minute delay. It was insane how much time it took for them to figure out how to do it. And they couldn't have just I was just like blood is going to boil. I was just like, why not just ring up another pie, but they weren't willing to ring up another pie. They had to specifically find Titey in the menu and

then they eventually ended up manually inputting it. So that was a whole rig of moral. But what time would you go at nine or something? We get we went pretty early. Like 11 a.m. But so it opened one at 11. We went close to opening. Look I'm an early riser. God, it's my first meal of the day, but we had a poor Natalie like so like at 7 a.m. You're like, let's do something. She's so tired. She wakes up early to we had a Titey was one of the pies. I would say this was the standout despite the register issue. This was the standout of the bunch. The Graham Cracker style crust. The really you got mad at a computer. You Nick Wagner were

mad at the computer. I wasn't mad at the computer. I was mad at the user. It was user air, of course, so it was the crust was really good. I would say like have you guys had their graham cracker crust there in any of their pies? Is this no I had almost every pie there. Yeah, that one looks like that's kind of it's kind of a grand graham crackery kind of a it's less sweet. It's less sweet. It's a little more buttery and it holds together better than a conventional graham cracker crust. It was very, very nice. It was a delightful crust. This is the best crust on the best pie. A very thin layer of chocolate and then it had that bright

cartoonish orange. If you guys ever get like a Thai iced tea at a Thai restaurant, it was that same hue. The tea flavor was very subtle and very nice in the custard. Just great. It was like absolutely delivered on a bite, eating a bite of a pie that tasted like a Thai tea. It was great. It was delicious. Mandarin orange cherry crunch pie was next, which I believe you guys also got here. We did. That bad boy would have been a lot better heated up and they did not even offer to heat it up, which I was a little miffed by. The cranberry was very good. I'm curious to your guys thoughts on this iteration, which I did not have. I thought

the cranberry was very tasty that they were good berries, not overly sweet. The crust was very nice and a good little bit nice, a little bit of citrus zest in here, rather like a lot of Tang. I'm into that Tang and the don't sexualize this. I didn't say anything. Looked up with it. You looked up with a face like you're going to make some sort of remark. You said I like that Tang and Mitch came in his pants. I like that gross director. Sorry, Mommy. Is that director guy every back? Yeah, Tobac. You pulled a Tobac. You say everyone. Everyone. And then we also had the that one was nice to the serial killer. Serial killer cheesecake

was another one. How was that? I tell you, hate the name. Too edgy. Try it. Don't give me that serial killer thing. It's fun. You're getting outed. Come on. No, I was just like, I just just call it the serial cheesecake or something. You know how to be too cute with it. I didn't like the name. I had a Fruit Loops mix in Fruit Loops mix in rather. I thought it was fruity pebbles. I looked it up. It was actually Fruit Loops ground up mixed in with a cheesecake filling. The cheesecake in isolation, I did not think was particularly impressive. It was just it was very plain. This is so fucked up. Hyper artificial tasting serial, which

did not mix will with the ingredients, which were these very these farm fresh ingredients. The shortbread style crust I thought was nice, but this was my least favorite crust and my least favorite of these pies and the only one we did not finish of these four. The last one, the Cali burger hand pie. This one I also thought was a disappointment. Nothing Cali about it. It's a full burger patty inside a hand pie. It's cooked super well done by its nature. And I would I prefer a medium burger and dried out. We only got one pickle inside of this thing. I think it's supposed to have multiple pickles. Cheese was hard to discern and

this sort of just sort of this generic steak pie steak pie style gravy with onions, not burgery, certainly not Cali burgery, which to me evokes something very, very specific avocado, right? Avocado or Thousand Island. Like like give me something that reminds me of a California style burger. For me, this heat up that avocado. Look, I'm just saying this was more and this was now these observations as well. This was more Salisbury steak than it was burger. And so it didn't really deliver on what it promised. You know, I thought that the store interior was very cute. The way they serve everything they give you, they

give them to you in these mini pie pans, which is nice. These little pie tins. And you know, the thing is, it's you know, then there's kind of a lot of brick inside, but I just, I wasn't blown away by what I had at a couple very nice pies and a couple that were not as impressive. I'm curious your guys thoughts on this visit. Well, no, I don't say anything. Well, we had some takeout. We got it from postmates. People are gonna get so mad at that. Look, we recorded, we're not allowed to say that we were allowed to

say, but people get so mad at the fact that we the trolls are gonna be living. They, they, they, they get, they get, they get out. So here's the deal. I don't know, because we should address this. Sometimes we record two episodes in a row. Right. Sometimes it's hard to meet up with the guest before we're gonna do the episode. That's true. Sometimes Mitch won't give me the fucking time of day to go to lunch. I offered it. I had a hang with family. We could we could. Your family lives in Boston. Yeah. No. What does that mean? Your family wasn't here. Would you say my family was lies? That's the truth. You're lying. No, I'm not.

I don't believe. Where are they? You got a conference call with your family. You Skype them in. Look, listen, listen. That's another bug. Look and look and listen, folks. Sometimes we got to order out. It didn't affect how I feel about this place. Marcy and I have both visited this place multiple times. We got some different stuff and also I had a positive experience with it. Marcy, I gotta say that pie is not an everyday food. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Yeah. That's why I was like, oh my God, I ate this at 11 a.m. It's so heavy. It was heavy. It went

when the fucking doors open. It was exceptionally heavy. It's a pie, you fuck. Yeah, I know. Do you think pasta is heavy? I do think pasta is heavy, but this pie was really heavy. Do you eat delicious pasta and you go, oh God, this is heavy, buddy. Do you think ice cream's cold? I do think ice cream is cold. Yes, I will go out on a limb and say ice cream is cold. Yes, pie is heavy. Let me say this. It's not an everyday food for me, which is what Marcy was just saying, and I agree with that point. Yes, I don't believe you. I now think you eat pie. I find even among pies, and I've had a lot of pie in my life. This is a particularly heavy pie because it's so loaded

with butter. It's like, it's like very, very starchy and very, very fat. I gotta say that that's how you make a good crust. You don't, you don't get a pie of that a lot of lard. Are you the fucking butter inspector? How do you know how much butter is in a pie? He's right though, because that's how you make a pie crust, is you put a lot of, either lard or butter in it. The lard crust are better than the butter crust. So they probably use lard in it. So I don't know, I guess I should have written an essay about this, but it was a rainy day, so having some warm pies was very nice. We had a macaroni pie. We had a macaroni and cheese pie. You wanted to tell, because we had the same pies.

Yeah, we had the same pies. You want me to just list them for you? List them for me, please. Why don't you guys just take them one at a time? We had a mom's apple crumble pie. Yes, which was a very standard, nice pie. I thought this one, I thought it, I don't usually get it. It could have been sort of served a little warmer, but it was really good. It reminds me of, it reminds me of like a great homemade apple pie. I thought it was delicious. Absolutely. There's nothing that feels like store bought about that pie. Sure. We also got, we got two slices of Mexican chocolate. I thought it was the other

chocolate. There used to, there is, there is a better chocolate pie that they do here. Better, excuse me. I thought this Mexican chocolate pie was great. The Mexican chocolate pie is very good. It had a little heat, a little cinnamon, a little spice in it. It was so good. I still think it's very good. It's very creamy. It's got the graham cracker crust. There's even some spice in the whip topping on top. It's got a little heat to that chocolate. Come on now. Caliente is why I go with dorkily say. It is. It's a little caliente. It's caliente. And I'm something of a heat secret.

And very like the, the, the like pie filling, the custardy, whatever chocolate is very like smooth. It's, it's definitely one of their signature pies, although the maple custard is so good and why you've never had it. You're a fool. I got to say that this was really great because you could taste different. Like it's one of those like flavors that like different things hit you later. Right. And I always like that one food whenever you're like, oh, I can taste someone's thinking about this. Yeah. Yep. I had a bite of that one and I did think it was, it was quite nice. Oh. Yeah. I thought the spice sort of woke it up a little bit. I thought the, the whip layer was

nice and I thought the crust was, was a good fit. Trash, your trash. We also had a chocolate brownie pie, which was gooey. It's gooey. This, this one is a lot, but I fucking love it. I think it was too much. I didn't care for it. It was just like a brownies already on a whole thing and then to put it into a pie, it's just like, oh, I can't make everything a turduck in you guys. Yeah. I concur. I think it was, it was good, but very, very heavy and overwhelming. And for me, it kind of, I told you guys this before we recorded. I'm not sure if anyone else agreed, but to me, it came across as kind of a cocoa puffs flavor. It was like very specifically evoked that. Maybe. I don't know. Yeah. No. Anyways. After that, we had the California

pizza. No. California burger hand by pizza hand by pizza burger hand by. That was not the best. I'll be honest with you. It tasted like two British guys. The thing was fucking whack. It was always was pretty warm. It was wet. The insides are a little wet. I didn't think it was as bad as people said, but it was not my, it was not. It wasn't, it wasn't my favorite pie. If they have to add one thing and take off another, just cook a whole avocado into pastry cut crust and get this make a scotch egg hand pie. Do something else. Why try the patty in there, but put in some ground beef. You got to cook it well anyway. I agree. I agree because it was just like, it was slimy. Yeah. It was very slight. And also too, like, you know, I'm not a hot pocket fan at all. I think

hot pockets are kind of trash, but I think the cheeseburger hot pocket is a better version of what this is trying to do than this one. And this one's like seven dollars. This is insane. My blood is boiling over here. You're just going to have a heart attack. That's probably what it is. Thank God Lord. Come and get me baby devils. Devil God, please come and get me devil is going to stay away from me. I've been. I've said my prayers because I'm scared then after that we had the mac and cheese pie. That was I really like that. I liked the mac and cheese pie too. I really wasn't thinking that I would like pie and casing mac because mac and cheese, I get it every any time there's mac and cheese. Let's get mac and cheese. Like that is the

rule. Right. Just get mac and cheese, even bad mac and cheese. I still want to try mac and cheese is great, but then to put it in a delicious savory little pie crust. Man, what the hell? What a great idea. I thought it was going to be terrible. It was great. It's good. The savory pies were, especially when this place first opened, they were always kind of on the back burner. Right. I feel like with this place becoming bigger, they're trying to push like, Oh, this is a place you can get lunch from or something. I guess so, but don't get that for lunch. All of this is like none of this food should be eaten by itself. We made a mistake, but I mean, the I think pie hole can work. I just don't know how big you make it. I think I think it's a smaller chain. Don't

do what you mommy did is what, but look, that's for later thoughts. Let's get. Let's let's go on. Okay. And the chicken cornbread pot pie, which is I liked both of them. I like the mac and cheese and the chicken cornbread. I will say it did a good job of tasting like one of my favorite pies, the pot pie, but then I was like, Oh, I guess it does taste like it. I still wanted the, the, the gushiness of it. Yeah, there's not really great. There's not, there's not really gravy. That's, yeah, that's what you call it. Not gushy. It's not. I like the gush of it. I try not to say not gushy because it's disgusting. Gushy, but it did really taste like a pot pie. I heard that one of your main issues with this pie place is that there was no holes cut in the

center like the American pie pies. You said like because I want to fuck these. Yes, that's what you told me. One of your main complaints was be ready to fuck. Yes, take this into the men's room and penetrate them. Oh, that's what you told me. That's what you told me. That's a fabrication. Tex Calpacas. The final pie we had was the Mandarin orange cherry crunch. Yes. That was one I also had. This is, this one was not one of my favorites. You know what it tastes? I liked it. It tasted like a good, a drink I would like to have. Sure. Yeah. I like, I thought it was refreshing. It kind of, yeah, kind of had like that sort of cocktail character. I like, you know, again, I said it, I love that tang. I didn't really hate anything we had. I liked it all.

I thought it was all like pretty well done. Yeah. I thought all the crust really great. I think Nick is unhappy and some other aspect of his life. That's definitely true. There's no hole to fuck the pie. Mitch is an empty hole person. Those are my basic thoughts. I don't know. And these, and these, and these, this pie hole fills me that hole up. I also, speaking of drinks, I had a house made lemonade. How was that? Oh, that's fun. It's not bad. It was pretty good. All right. So we've talked about Emma, how'd you feel about the pies? I love pie. Emma loves pie. I like, I was saying while you were taking our break that the crumbly crust, as opposed to like pie crust. Yeah. From the apple pie? Yeah. They did have a nice crumble

to it. Yeah. The crumble on top. Basically just butter and sugar. Right. Yep. Yeah. I'll always, I'll always go at Dutch apple or a French apple over a regular apple. Ditto for cherry. I'm literally thinking my mouth is watering already. Just thinking about eating more bites of these pies. Nick, I love them. What's wrong with you? Why don't you like America? Well, look, I know you're a Trump supporter, so why don't you like... That's not true at all. You are a Trump supporter. You're wearing a MAGA hat right now. I absolutely have nothing that I like about that man I'm referred to as the orange buffoon. You're wearing a white polo with khaki shorts. You have a tiki torch with you and you don't like these pies? I'm reclaiming this uniform for the

left. You want to see the world burn more than anybody I know. You think I'm a nihilist? You're a nihilist. I'm not a nihilist. I don't want the world to burn. I think the world is worth saving. I don't think it's going to, like, I think things are going to end badly. I don't think anyone's going to address climate change. If you weren't a nihilist, you'd fucking like these pies. I'm not a nihilist, but I would like animals to take over again. That'd be interesting. I want P-22 to rise up. Do you guys know P-22? No, what's that? He's the best mountain lion in Los Angeles. Oh, yes. Oh, okay. Yeah, everyone can Google him. He's pretty famous. He's kind of like red 13 in Final Fantasy VII. What's that? He's this sentient cat. You sent too many nerd words in a row. The

sentient cat who joined your party. It's a great red cat. And there actually is a little coda towards the end when all of Midgar has been retaken by nature. And he and his sons are part of the animal horde that now- You're not wondering back by talking about Midgar. Let's get to our ratings on Pie Hole. Okay. So, Marcy, this is how this will work. We'll each go around. We'll give sort of our closing thoughts on the chain and then ascribe it a rating on the order of zero to five forks. You're our guest. We will begin with you. Wait, what do I have to do again? Just sort of gave like a like a quote, like your summation of your thoughts and then give it a rating. I think on a sad day, on a cold day, on a rainy day, on a breakup day, Pie Hole is a place

that can fill you right up. And I'm going to give it four and a half forks. Four and a half forks. Very good score. For depression only. If you're on your medication and seeing your therapist, it might only have four forks. Go ahead, Mitch. I think if you're like Nick Weiger, who for some insane reason said this is worse than, one of the pies is worse than a hot pocket, which is insane. I stand by that. That's insane talk. Insane talk. I think the hot pocket does a better job of trying to accomplish what it's trying to accomplish than this pie does. You're lucky I don't throw you in the fucking microwave right now. I'm going to drown his cats and he's going to mic eat you. I'm going to nuke Weiger. You couldn't nuke me. Nuke Weiger. I definitely

couldn't nuke you. No, you can crap. Your whole thing about me. I would cram you. I maybe I'll get a big fucking microwave. How's about that? I'm agile. First, you'd have to get me in your clutches. First of all, agile. I would do longer than you realize. No, this is what I would do. I'd say Weiger come over for the podcast. You open the door. You wouldn't realize that my apartment had been turned into turn into a giant microwave. You shut the door behind you. I'm outside. I pushed the buttons on the thing. I started up. You get nuked. So bitch, the only way that you would end up having your apartment actually turn into a giant microwave is you have someone do it for you. I guess maybe you if you lied to the fab five, like this is like a

queer eye season two thing. They remodel your apartment and do I think Bobby would figure that out. You think you would? He's probably savvy. The first episode I watch it said Bobby design and they're like me and my roommates were like, what a funny last name. We're dumb. Um, piehole. I started. I went to this place, like I said, when I first started off, I'm not, I'm not jealous when a band gets big. I like that. I want me. I'm not jealous. I don't, I don't, I don't get defensive. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't want, I'm fine with other people experiencing a thing I like. I want it to happen. I like that. Right. You'll give your three 11 to the world. I'll give three 11 to the world. I'll give in. You know, I like it. And you know, with you,

mommy, I, I, I kind of always was like, I don't know how I feel about this. And then it gave to the world a change. It went bad. I'm afraid of some stuff like that with piehole. Sure. Some of its favorites, like just things that like the, the custard pies are available on the weekends, stuff like that, new packaging, new stuff like this, the savory pies are getting pushed a little bit more. There's things that are changing about it. I get it. It's becoming a bigger chain. I hope that the quality doesn't dip. I don't think that the quality has dipped too much and has it dipped a little bit. I don't know. Honestly, this just this one visit isn't enough to make me think that it has. Let's go again tomorrow. But because I, because I think

that the big, I think that these pies are great. I think that they open my, I had when I had that maple custard pie at piehole. I was like, this is so good. This is food changing to me. Right. And, and they do what they are set out to do very, very, very well. Nick, you had a bad experience with it. You knew it existed for a very long time. You shouldn't go to it. You went too early in the day. Apparently a computer malfunction because it was near you. You're making excuses for attacking him before you even hear his rate because I told you my blood was born a long time ago. You know what he's going to do. I'm giving this place four and a half forks. Wow handholding club with Marcy very high and and honestly look. It's a place that could go. It could drop in quality.

I'm interested in seeing what happens. Yeah, I'm excited for it to for other people to try it. Yeah, to be. I don't know how it's going to work. I brought. I bought this is because I haven't had. I haven't done a friends giving in like three years. Friends giving is a dorky thing to say, but I haven't. I haven't been one in three years, but for a friend for a couple. No one likes them for a couple years. For a couple years at home by himself with with a full turkey um, giblets for a couple years. I got brought the maple custard pie to friends giving and you made it yourself and claimed I made it myself. No, you didn't and no I did not but and people were blown away and said it was some of the best pie they ever had. They're blown away

that Mitch brought something. It's Friday. Whatever. We're all hanging out anyway. Pretend like we're all here for Thanksgiving, guys. God, I hate him. I wasn't tricked into it being Thanksgiving when it wasn't Thanksgiving. Anyways, four and a half forks. Yeah, piehole is great. Nick, let's hear this fucking bullshit. So yeah, I took notes. I prepared. Uh, here's the thing. I think my my official thoughts on this chain were solidified when I noticed one detail

of their physical store. So they have this very cute interior, which I mentioned earlier, a lot of brick. It's very nice, very homey, but basically what the heck did Ben Folds fucking design the place? Oh, Mitch, you're not going to be invited to Friendsgiving again this year. It was a prick joke. Right. It's an abortion song joke. That's our song, Mitch. Ben Fold should let women sing about abortion. Oh my God. Putting my pussy hat on and marching around your living room. This is true. She's doing it. So the detail I noticed in this store, one wall dedicated entirely to merch. Yeah, we're talking piehole mugs, piehole hats, piehole t-shirts, the whole shebang.

They got more merch than the Doughboys podcast has. That's not true. First of all, they have a lot of different merch items and this is where I sort of realize this chain is a triumph of marketing. Like that's what it is. This chain is about presentation. This chain is the pies are designed to be photographed and this was Natalie's observation. They're designed to be photographed and to look presentation well presented on Instagram. They're Instagram food. It's Instagram food. Sure. They do have great presentation. Yes, that is a part of the place. But the taste does not deliver. That's such trash. The presentation. It does not live up to that level of quality. And let me tell you this because I'm going to irritate you here, Mitch.

The other element we have to touch on is that every one of these pies is six, 50 or more. Like the price point here is very high. Yes. You live a stone's throw from a nice pie shop house of pies. Or you could find bugs inherent in your food items. It's a very, it's a dirty, dingy diner. But let me tell you, give me a house of pie slice any day over something from piehole. Were you with us that time that Madeleine saw fly fly right out of our salad? No, but that does not surprise me at all. Look, I got a mushroom in my cottage cheese once. It's not a great diner, but I'm saying yes. I'm saying it is not. This is the place you choose of. This is I'm saying they're pie trash. I prefer their pie versus the

pie holes overpriced version. So the first of all they always had t-shirts even back in the day. Yeah, I'm saying that's what it was. No, but it was before it was now that they're pushing more of that stuff probably because it's turning into a bigger right because that's their whole idea. They're just looking for expansion and growth. They're not concentrated on the quality and let me tell you as a first time visitor in 2018 that this place does not live up to the hype and it certainly does not live up to the price point. That's why I'm giving the piehole two forks. Not going into the golden plate club, not even close to the golden plate club. But let me tell you something else, Mitch, because this will maybe calm you down a little bit. And this is true.

Afterwards, as I texted you, Natalie and I went to Taco Bell. Yes, you said that was so heavy. We went to Taco Bell. That was extremely heavy. And then you went to Taco Bell because they needed something savory to counteract all of the sweet, these sweet treats and that Kelly burger hand pie was not cutting it. But let me tell you the service Taco Bell was very rainy, was great. They were very nice. They were very polite. The food was fantastic. We got those nacho fries. They're really good. They're not Del Taco fries, but they're very good. Should we do that on a double? What's wrong with you? We haven't reviewed them. It's far about it. We still can. Well, we should have reviewed them at some point. We haven't done it.

So I got some bean and cheese burritos as well. They were delightful. My favorite bean and cheese, no onions add to our cream. Let me tell you, I just get it as it comes. But just that right, that bean and cheese burrito absolutely delivers. Here's what I'm going to do, Mitch. I know I castigated piehole. I know I gave that a terrible score. But as something of a consolation to are you, Taco Bell, I am revising my score upward again for I think the fourth time. Yeah, five forks for Taco Bell. Five forks. What the fuck cannot lead in the platinum plate club? You just prove that you can have your mind changed. Yes, that your first opinion is always the worst that and when you give things a second, third and fourth chance, they go. Finally came around

to Taco Bell, which is one of my favorite restaurants. It's good. It's better than the piehole. Why did you give all of quite a margin like three forks? Yeah, we weren't. We weren't too nice. That wasn't great. It was my favorite. If you had to give this out of out of five forks, what do you think you would give these pies? Three or four. Yeah, well, higher than yours. Two is insane. Still not wowed. That's the that's not the three or four. So three and a half almost in the Golden Play Club. Yeah, but anyway, but listen, I just want to say yes, Nick. Yeah, good that you finally did the right thing with Taco Bell. First of all, in two years, he's going to be like I really like piehole. Yeah, of course, give it for four. I don't know. I mean, hey,

look, I could be wooed. I could be persuaded, but this I can only go off my own street and visit. This is insane. You you you're making these. You're having these huge generalizations about this place saying this place is made for marketing. That's not a general. You know I'm saying you're making these claims about this place. That's what I feel you're making claims about this place and you're saying and you're saying that this is made for marketing. There's not like love made in these pies. I've been going there from the start and I have seen this place evolve and I have and I have experienced the maple custard pie. I've experienced that love. I've experienced how good this place is right. I think you're I think you're exactly wrong. This pie,

you got postmated to you evoked those fond memories that you bring you bring up the fucking post made those fond memories that you had and you're not getting a fair assessment of what the chains was ordering. A thousand things today because all right is happening at the same time as maybe some sort of competition. Don't say it. Don't say it that there's a billion things going on. All I say is that I saw a former host of my other podcast here. That's true. It's to do that. This will. It will date. We won't say it, but it will date the episode. No one. I've had a million podcasts. No. I also no one cares. No one cares, but also I just want to say you're wrong. I think you're wrong on this one. I think you really got it wrong. Your opinion is incorrect. Hey,

that's what the spot guess is all about. Hey, you know what, Mitch? Yeah, that was the pie hole and hey, that's it for pie. We're done with pie. We don't have to talk about pie anymore. God, I hope you go to house of pie soon. You don't do it. I want you to eat a fly pie. Yeah. Hey, maybe this was recorded right around pie day. Oh yeah, may around 314. That might have been around the time it was recorded and you know what? We'll never know. We'll never know. But yeah, that is it for pie. We're not going to talk any more pie today. All the pie is done. No more pie. Seems like this is setting up something. Psych. Oh my God. I started singing pie pie. Which one is in the sky? Baked a pastry that was tasty, but a mystery

which kind? And Mitch and our guests were given at their best try. Guessing this will be the type of this pie. This will be the type of this pie. All right, Mitch and Marcy, this is pie in the sky. We have a pie. I have a mystery pie. Watch out, weird owl. And you must divine a series of clues to guess which one it is. The winner keeps the pie. The loser goes home empty stomach. You'll take turns getting increasingly more obvious clues and you have two lifelines. The smell test. You can smell the pie, but you can't look or taste or you could ask the engineer for help and Emma will give her opinion on what it might be. By the way, you call me fart stomach because my stomach made a rumbly sound the moment I met you, Marcy.

We never explained that. Yes, I called you fart stomach and then you... I think I made a great impression on you. Yes. I gave you a good taste of what you were going to get with me. That is true. That's true. He gave you a good taste, too. What the hell? No, Mitch. Should we say that this also whatever this pie was in the trash earlier? Mitch threw it away. I threw the pie away. That feels like a classic Mitch move. I wonder if it's a fly pie from House of Pies. It might be. All right, so Marcy, you're a guest. You get to choose first or second. There will be four clues. Keep in mind, each clue will get progressively more or progressively less difficult, progressively more obvious.

Marcy, I'm going to tell you, too, that I go first all the time and lose every single time, just so you know. Okay, so you think I'm going to lose like you? I'm saying if you choose to go second, you most likely will win. I'll go first. Okay, I'll go first. Wow. All right. You fucked up bad. This is the most difficult and cryptic clue. Okay. Clue number one. They say have your cake and eat it, too. Here you can have a pie that is more commonly a cake. They say have your cake and eat it, too. Here you can have a pie that is more commonly a cake. Oh, I don't know. Do you want to take a guess? Am I supposed to guess? Yeah. Oh, um, a chocolate pie. Chocolate pie is your guess.

It is not correct. Okay. But I will say it's in the right ballpark. Okay. Mitch, you get the next clue. Keep in mind, you two will have two lifelines. Smeltest or Ask Our Engineer. Mitch, your clue. Apple pie is all American. This pie would be more at home in Europe. I think I know. Apple pie is all American. This pie would be more at home in Europe.

Oh, no, I'm going to get this wrong. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Look, I have to guess, Marcy. Mitch, keep in mind, you have two lifelines. You can do the Smeltest or Ask Our Engineer. Do you know it? I have an idea. I'm not positive. I'm not positive. Emma seems like she's perhaps 50-50, maybe 40-60. I think it's, well, I'm going to use the lifeline.

Okay, Mitch is invoking the Ask Our Engineer lifeline. I think it's a French vanilla pie. Oh, see, I thought German chocolate. Huh. But she said chocolate. Gonna need an answer, Mitch. Right. German chocolate cake, though, right? I don't know if that's a thing.

No, it is, though, isn't it? I don't know. Gonna need an answer, Mitch. Oh, fuck. All right. No, no, no, I just don't know if it's a French. Just saying. I have their pie in here, too. I think that's, isn't that a French?

Yeah. French vanilla pie. French vanilla pie is incorrect. German chocolate cake pie. Uh, yeah, that's it. Actually, Emma was right, too. If you just trusted it, Emma, Mitch, you would have won. I said, I have the fuck.

Why the hell have their cake? Why? Because it's more commonly a cake, a German chocolate cake. It is a German chocolate pie, right? Yeah. Isn't that the queen of your thing? Let them eat cake. Honestly, as soon as you said it, I knew exactly what it was,

and you had all that information, and you're like, that's not exactly what you sound like. Guys, play it back. No, it's good. I don't like... I don't like winning this game. Have your fucking, have your trash pie. Mitch wants to get this garbage out of his house.

Here, it's possibly, uh, has a bunch of flies in it because I did give her a bunch of pies. Oh, no. You don't have to have it. I think we should try it right now. We should make Nick try it, right? We should try it now in comparison to the pies we have here. I'll happily eat this garbage pie.

Give it to me. I'm gonna put more garbage inside this garbage pile of a body. No problem. Let's all take a bite. Oh, it looks like dog shit. This looks fucked up. Not because I threw it away. All right, here we go. I'm taking a bite.

It came out of a dumpster and it went into a fucking trash bag. I dropped a fork. Should I eat it too? Are you Frankie Forkson? I tell you, it's not bad. It looks barfy. Yeah, it definitely like... Hand it on down.

This is not Instagram ready, but I think it's not bad. I like the coconut in it. Nice crunch to it. The chocolate's got a nice pudding-ing quality. This weird thing that you're like... You know why it has a pudding-ing quality? Because it's just chocolate pudding. Yeah, I think it's just straight-up pudding, but I like it.

It's just straight-up pudding. I like it. You are basic. Has anyone ever told you that? Hey, you know what? This is not better than any of the pies we have from Pie Hall. I think it's great. And it's got canned with milk. That's insane.

Give me that any day. You're just being... Something's wrong with you. Are you a spy? I'm a regular man. I'm a normal man with fair taste. Try that barf. Not better than any of the pies we have. I prefer it. How much did it cost though?

What did it cost? I don't remember how much it cost. Hold on. Let me see if I have a receipt. Is it better than any of the pies we had? It's $5. Wait, so that cake was $5. For a dog 50 more, you can get a cake that they made themselves. Yeah.

Give them the house of pies. You're wrong. You're a shithead. You are a shithead. All right, that was pie in this guy. Just like a restaurant, you buy your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. And today we got a voicemail. Emma is going to wash out the piece of pie she just had.

She's taken a bite of the pie hole pie, Nick. Yeah, that's fine. There's something in my mouth. Is it a live fly? It was just some pies, I think. All right, so today we got a voicemail in the feedback. Let's listen to this bad boy. This is Big Chuggy from Pittsburgh.

The other day I ordered a hot dog with coleslaw on it. And now my friends won't stop making fun of me and calling me a fancy boy and things like that. I was just wondering what it should and should not go on a hot dog. I know a lot of people have strong opinions about catch up.

I think it's honestly all fair game. Anyway, see you later. Hmm. Thanks for the question. Chuggy? Was that what he called him so? Big Chuggy. Big Chuggy? It sounds like a scary ending to a child's play movie. Oh boy. You got a Big Chuggy?

Honey, I blew up the Chuggy. Oh my God. So, Marcy, do you have any thoughts on hot dogs? Do you have any toppings that are topping do's or don'ts? We're not eating coleslaw, right? Right. Unless you're at like a church function. Coleslaw is a no.

Yeah, you made a strong stance against that. But I think you can put anything you want on a hot dog, right? You can put... I'm a big catch up mustard person. Yeah. But I guess put whatever you want. Whenever I see like weird like Chicago dog, New York dog, blah, blah, blah dog.

It's just like whatever. If you want something gross on your hot dog, eat your hot dog that way. Yeah. I agree with you. I don't think anything is off the table. But whatever you want to have on your dog is fine. Look, I've had some great dogs with some toppings that are perhaps viewed as unconventional by others. A Sonoran dog is something that's maybe

a little bit more. It's got some... I'll have to look up exactly what is on a Sonoran dog. But it's got like some beans, some refried beans on there and like some grilled onions. It's like a little bit of sour cream.

Ew. Yeah, it's weird, but it's good. It's actually delightful. Like the LA street dog is certainly something that, you know, that one's great. Hey, you know what, sometimes you'd say you'd say... Mayo on there? Yeah, you might say, I don't want mayo on my hot dog. Then you get an LA street dog.

Put mayo on everything. Put mayo on these pies. Now you're speaking my language. I'll put mayo on every damn thing. Too bad pie hole didn't have that option. Also, like, isn't like Coleslaw so close to sauerkraut? Sauerkraut is pickled. But what is it?

It's pickled cabbage, right? Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. It's like the same thing. It's just like the sweeter version of it. I like Coleslaw. I think your Chuckie's a little, not a fancy boy. He's a sweetheart. Yeah, I don't think there's anything fancy about putting Coleslaw on a hot dog.

Also, he's in Pittsburgh. So like those people are looking for any reason to mock you. They're not a nice people. They have a beautiful city. A lot of potatoes in all of their food. And these people love making fun of people. Calling someone a... Calling someone a what?

I was just going to say, calling someone a fancy boy for putting Coleslaw on your hot dog is like, well, look who's wearing a belt. It's like... I said sauerkraut was pickled Coleslaw, which is incorrect. No, you said it's pickled cabbage. Oh, I did say that. Well, it is pickled cabbage.

You were right. You're so dumb you thought you were wrong. What the fuck? What the fuck? This is why you haven't had me on the podcast until now. You're very mean. She's going to be so mean. I tricked him because when he was on my podcast, I was nice to him.

Yeah, put the fuck. What happened? I really tricked him. I was like, I did it on purpose, so you would have me on yours. I'm going to say this. I'm sex negative. Because you can't have it. You don't get invited to that any more than Thanksgiving. Right?

I'm... I get invited to Thanksgiving more. I was going to say... By your mother. No, there's no mom fucking. No, she might listen to this podcast. I wasn't saying that, Mitch. I don't fuck any family member. No one said you did. You made that up completely.

Here's what I had to say. Yes, I agree. Put anything on your... That's all I have to say. Put anything on your sausage. Sometimes I'm going to taste it. I'm going to be like, this is too much. We went to Jappadog in... In Vancouver. Right.

Then there was just some stuff that was... There were some combos that were a little too much. You and Sesser said you liked it and put it in the Golden Plate Club, and then you retroactively changed your score, but you only said you liked it so that the crowd wouldn't yell at you. There was a hostile crowd. They were very hostile. And you don't have much of a backbone.

Yeah. I'm like a slug. I don't think I have any bones. Anyways, yeah, put it... I don't fuck you. I don't agree with her on me being stupid in a lot of stuff, but put it... I thought you were right. You're the one that didn't believe in yourself. I think you're stupid, but I believe in you.

Look, everybody's stupid. That's not true. I don't believe in all of them, but I believe in you. Hey, compared to the Almighty God, everybody's dumb. Am I right? He knows everything. Anyway, hey guys,

if you have a question or comment about the World of Chain restaurants, hey, I'm not done. Go ahead and read the thing. I don't know. You want to cry? Go topping nuts if you want. Go topping crazy. You do whatever you want.

Go ahead and email us at doboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830. Go Doe. That's 830-463-6844. And hey, to get more Do Boys, join the Golden Play Club on Patreon, patreon.com, slash Do Boys. Marcy Jarrow, thank you so much for joining us. This has been fun.

Offering your pie opinions and your takes on Louisiana cuisine. Do you have anything you would like to plug at this time? Oh, yeah. Listen to my podcast, A Funny Feeling, or my other podcast, Cardition It, about the Kardashians. One's about ghosts, the other one's about the Kardashians. You figure it out. I think Cardition It is about

ghosts. It's about the ghosts of Robert Kardashian. Oh, my God. Honestly, it comes up a lot. Mitch is on an episode of A Funny Feeling. Oh, that's fun. And I'm pretty nice to him. You are nice to me. You're nice to me off the air, too.

I like him. I'm just, you know, he's a big baby. You're a rooster. I get it now that you'd fucking love Andrew Dice Clay. You know what? I've been called a sniper before. Ooh. We got a lot of snipers on here. Gabris is a bit of a sniper. He's sniping me.

He's too tough. He's a big boy. Everyone snipes me. You're a big target. I'm a big target. Giant head, little features. End the podcast before there's more roasting. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys and on the next time for the Spoonman,

Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya.