Doughboys - Toastique with Mary Sohn

Episode Date: September 24, 2026

Mary Sohn (@maroldswan, The Perimenopause Late Show) joins the 'boys to talk toast, breakfast foods, and sushi before a review of Toastique. Plus, another edition of Snack or Wack.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Howdy, buddy, the dough boys are coming to Texas and also Boston Mass. Yee ha! We're going from Yee ha to hi, ma. Wow.

We're going to be in Houston at the Houston Improv on November 17th, Dallas at the Addison Improv on November 18th, and Austin at Capital City Comedy Club on November 19th. We have a 7 p.m. show that is sold up with the 9.30 p.m. show still has tickets available. And who knows if we will hit up the comedy mothership. You'll find out. Maybe we'll just do a spur of the moment show at the comedy mothership. And then why?

Don't worry about that, though. Buy the tickets to the existing shows that we're trying to promote, Mitch. Do the existing shows first. And then we have a surprise show at the Comedy Mothership or kills Tony. Then you can come to those two. Don't worry about that for now. You'll know about that when you know about it. but go the Houston, the Houston Improv, Dallas at the Addison Impro,

not in the capital city comedy club. Then Wig. November 17th or 19th of what you should be looking at. Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the Wilbur, the doughboys are potted. That's right. Thanksgiving Eve, November 25th, the Boston, the doughboys will be at the Wilbur theater. I thought you would finish the rhyme for me. Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the Wilbur, the doughboys were potting. I guess potting is hard to rhyme with.

The doughboys were potting. Oh, I guess you have to rhyme with the obers. And the audience was applauding. That's good. Hopefully. The audience was squatting. The audience was squatting. That's more likely.

Maybe you had to ride with, do you have to ride it with Wilbur? Bilber. And our guest won't be Bill Burr. Our guest won't be Bill Burr. We'd love to have him. Yeah, yeah, he's very busy. Anyway, November 25th of Boston in Boston at the Wilburth Theater. So join us for all of those shows.

Tickets at birdfuck.com slash live or doughboyspodcast.com slash live. Our guest will be Cuber and gad. Reunited at last. from the pixels movie, where they fucked. It's canon. Check us out. Houston. Dallas.

Austin. Boston. Wow. Don't get Austin and Boston mixed like in road trip. Birdfuck.com slash live. Birdfuck.com slash live. Previously on doughboys. Mitch, you were talking about your Hillstone experience.

We went with Usong in front of the podcast. We went with Usa. It was, yes. Why did Susser come? I don't know. He only made life worse for Yusong. so he shouldn't have joined us. I don't think Yusong enjoyed his company, right?

Thumbs up if you enjoyed his company. He gave a shrug. It seems like I've only met, I've known him for about five minutes. It seems like about the meanest thing he could say about somebody. I don't know. That is probably the biggest thing Yuson could say about the shrug. That says everything you need to know about Susser. I love Hillstone.

I'm a fan of it. I liked it a lot. Great restaurant. But I got a bone. I got a bone in my French dip sandwich. Yeah. I got a cost. You literally have a bone to pick.

I literally have a bone to pick. I bid into it. And it hurt. It was rough. Weiger saw me. I kind of struggled through the rest of the dinner, pretending I was all right. But we did see Doc Rivers, too. We did see, yeah.

Doc Rivers, coach of the Boston Celtics, now the Los Angeles Clippers, a great player, even better coach. I think I would have taken it down a full fork, if not for the river. reciting. Moralizers, we need you. So was the plea from self-described middle-aged Bernard Salt in the title of his October 2016 column in the weekend Australian. And the target of Salt's moral panic in the right-wing Rupert Murdoch own publication, millennials and their taste for avocado toast. Recalling his own recent brunch observations, the fittingly named Salt wrote with angst, quote, I have seen young people order smashed avocado with crumbled feta on five-grain toast. bread at $22 a pop and more. $22 several times a week could go towards a deposit on a house.

The column, tossed like water onto the grease fire of OK boomer sentiment, became a rallying cry for over 40 conservatives sick of young people's complaints about the economy and provoked unmunied millennials into frenzied meaming and mockery. But regardless of its flashpoint as a symbol of either boomer obliviousness to wage stagnation or millennial financial illiteracy, depending on your generational perspective, avocado toast has remained a brunch staple in the Western world. So much so that Brianna Keefe,

a millennial herself, founded a breakfast and brunch chain centered on the dish and its bread and bowl associates in 2018. A former James Madison University Division I athlete and competitive cheerleading keeps frustration with a lack of healthy quick-service breakfast options inspired her concept.

And today, much like a fat burglar, this thriving chain is sneaky big, with around 60 locations in America. It's a Shyamalan esk twist that Aussie Boomer scold Bernard Salt never could have anticipated. Millennial Keefe, forging her financial path to home ownership because of avocado toast. This week on Doe Boys, Toastique. Welcome to Do Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Nick Tiger Wiger, along with my co-host, Zoe Bechamel, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I like it. I like it, too, like Zoe Day Chanel, but the cheese sauce instead. X O X O X OXXO, Alex at Lame Rod on the DoScore, Roast at BirdFuck.com. We watched Almost Famous the other night. Hold up? I think it holds up. I think people are like mean to your forest Gumps and you're almost famous in kind of like the

cornyer 90s movies. Wow, I never even put those in the same bucket, but I guess they are kind of the same sort of thing. Gumpin Almost Famous, I would say, are kind of, right? Yeah, Gumpin Almost Famous can have the same journey. They're similar. A lot of stuff happens. There's buses in each movie. I would say maybe Almost Famous is like a much more compact span of time one tour versus the entire life-encompassed by...

Nixon is not an almost famous. Is Nixon an almost famous? No. Nixon is not an almost famous. It does not start when he's a little boy and almost famous, and then he's got a little boy of his own at the end of it. Yeah, that's right. Our friend. Our friend of the... Yeah, the past guest. Yeah, that's right. Wow. And also Almost Famous has Maron's famous. Famous. Famous, line. The lock, lock the gates. He's like fighting with him. He does, you know, he does a pretty good job. He's like, he does, he does, Marin, I give you credit. Got to give it to him. You got to give it to him. You know what else? He did a good job. Another talk, another host in in the almost famous does it very good job. Jimmy Fallon's pretty good. Jimmy Fallon's pretty

good at it. He's the, he's the tour manager. He's the tour manager they hire later on. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right, right, right. And then there's the airplane and then the, in the plane almost crashes. The plane almost crashes. And he confesses that he killed someone with his car. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Or hits. Yeah. Yeah, he was getting. He was getting roadhead while he's driving. That's why he did it. That's part of the, that's a deleted scene. We were talking gossip before, and Amelia brought up this old case, and then she said that this person was getting roadhead in this scenario. And we were, and we had never heard this side of the gossip before. Yes, right. that this is this is old, old, old.

Yeah. The JFK assassination. I'd never heard he was getting roadhead, but Amelia apparently. I did not hear that he was getting, yeah. Yeah. And then like he wouldn't have gotten shot except he was like, he was mid-orgasm. Yeah. He like raised up and got shot.

It was a reverse trump of like the bullet trajectory would have just passed right over his head, but instead, boom. You got hit. Yep. That's what a way to go. That's why roadhead's dangerous. That's why roadhead's dangerous. Don't raise up. Yeah, don't raise up.

When you're finished, when you're finishing there, don't raise up. And this is why I said when we're on tour, no, you're not allowed. That's what I said to you right before we started. You can't do it. Okay, we'll see. Why? I'm going to raise up. My head's going to hit the ceiling.

I can knock myself unconscious. Just don't raise up. Just don't raise up. All I have to do is don't raise up. If you're getting roadhead, just don't raise up. Just don't raise up. This is our dare. Hey, you're getting roadhead?

Don't raise up. Stay firmly planted in your seat. Or sink down. Or sink down. You can sink down. Can we put a, Mike, put a, the more you know, star over it. If you can do that. Don't raise up.

Don't raise up. Don't raise up. You know. Mike's, yeah. My mouth is feeling kind of regal today. Why is that? I got a crown. Wow.

I got a crown yesterday. Which one? I think, and you know what? I know it's 2.30. It's my, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, why. It's, I think it is. I'll tell you afterwards, it was tooth herty. Yeah.

I, here's the thing, I did not, you told me, the only version of the world where I was like, I might have to get a root canal and why I was like, do it, it's fine, it's like, I liked it. Yeah. You were like, I liked my root canal. I did like. He is a nasty boy. He likes Root Canal. And to his credit, I went in and got the Root Canal.

I was like, that was easy. The Root Canal itself, I mean, it was like your mouth is open for two hours and you're, like, you're just laying down. And your mouth open for two hours, which is, was a lot. But, uh, don't raise up. I don't know. That's not. I realize it sounded dirty. But it, like, it's like, the only thing is like, oh, your jaw's hurt.

and your mouth is open for two hours. But then yes or again, the crown is, that's the worst part. The crown did not, didn't get in the crown was not a problem for me. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't like it. I had no complications. Because I actually have a temporary crown right now.

And me too. Do you really? What's going on? My mouth has been a graveyard for years, but this was after a double root canal. Oh, my God. I got a crown. And then in my last dentist appointment, they said that the crown had detached a bit. So like two years later, I'm paying, you know, another.

thousand bucks for this. Wow. That's, that sucks. But again, nothing is worse than getting an implant. Take care of your teeth. It's so important. Oh, right. An implant, yes. Yeah. Like drill in with their full force into your mouth. It's just very nardly. Have you ever gotten? No, I never got an implant. You know what I didn't like yesterday is like they were like there. He was trying to find like the shade for my two. He was like, let's go with like an eight and a half shade or something. I was like, that's kind of like a yellowish. Like I was like, I was saying like I noticed. him being like his teeth are kind of like like there was like the scale and like the 10 was white or whatever and 8 and a half you're doing pretty good yeah it's pretty good yeah

oh really you know you know the scale I don't know the scale but I'm just saying I'm looking at your your pearly whites okay I don't think you're particularly yellow the lower the number the whiter oh okay so it's the fucking worse thanks meals it's one to 10 he's 8 and a half let me look it up

for yellowish you're full of shit It's like your gossip earlier. Let me just look at this up to make sure it's right, but I think it's lower the number. The temporary crown feels a little clay-like. I don't like it in my... I don't like it in there right now. I want the zirconium. They got a little zirconium.

I'm getting made right now. A-1 is the lightest. A-1. And then what were you? I'll take an A-1 crown. A-8 and a half. It's like A-1, A-2, 3, then it goes B-1, B-2, B-3. It sounds like you're looking at a different scale.

Maybe. I would just wait. Can you just mean you don't know shit about this? Because a letter was not involved with Mitch's and then eight and a half seems way out of bounds of your number range. Yeah, that doesn't seem right. Something's not adding up. Yeah. Is he going to put a dead tooth in your mouth? Impossible.

Or she? Or a fang? Oh. Perhaps Dracula's fang. You don't want a fang in there. No. Mitch. I thought that was a good segue.

Does it segue to what? I don't know. Mitch, as you know, Emma's out of town. That's right. Amelia's here and also we have with us

our guest engineer Grand Slam Rogic. Hi, Sam. Hey, everybody. Thanks for having me. I forgot that your nickname. Well, yeah, thank you for being here. I have a couple now.

Yeah. Happy to be here. I love you guys. We love you too, buddy. Although I was going to say, I think it might be interesting lore if we start to be like Sam's bad news.

Like we like him, but just like he's, He's like a bad dude. So just so kind of like he's corn pop. Sam is like corn pop? He's like the dough boy's corn pop. Sam, you're like corn pop now. I actually don't know who corn pop is.

He's the guy Biden called a bad dude. Cornpop was a bad dude. There's questions of whether corn pop was real. And then they did confirm that corn pop was real. Yeah, corn pop is real? And then the people, wasn't there another question? It was like, is corn pop just not white? They were like afraid that like it was just like old man Biden being like,

corn pop was bad news. Is he just being racist? Is he just being racist? Is he just being racist was the question? But I, but I, you know what? I don't know the answer to that. I have no idea. But I'm glad you brought it up.

And I'm associated. I can't address the fact. I can address this fact that. You absolutely can, yeah. I did nothing wrong. I don't know corn pop. I don't know corn pop either, but I know, I know Sam to be cornhop. Sam's a bad dude.

Sam's a bad dude. Sam is a bad. He is a little bit like corn pop. Yeah. I wear all black. It's true. You're in a band? Yeah. How's Guck doing? We're doing good. We just tracked a new record.

Oh, hell yeah. When does this come out? This comes out of the end of September. We're playing a show at Terregrant Ballroom in Los Angeles. September 26, if it doesn't come out before then, never mind. Wow. Wow, there you go. Look for that. September 26, you said?

Yeah. Maybe this may be. I think those will just sneak in. It might just sneak in. It might be day of. But also, please don't plug during the story. show we're going to cut that up. He sent me up. You're a bad dude. He's a bad. He's a bad. He's a bad dude.

I hope corn pop and Biden have buried the hatchet. I hope they've had a beer summit. Remember when they had a beer summit in the first Obama term? Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. It was like Biden, Obama. Who wasn't like a cop who who like shot somebody or something? What the fuck was it? Yeah, that's all right. That's cool. Let's bring him to the summit, too. I think it was Henry Lewis Gates And then like a cop who like detained him Or something

It's some weird thing like that I can't remember the details But you know what? I'm glad you brought it up My mom's in town I know your mom's in town Well I know but I'm saying it for the listeners Yeah it's great

I guess Happy to have Mama Mitchell in the city of angels Let me tell you this She's going through my undies right now Me undies Wow Why is she doing that? You got too many undies

I'm gonna go through them All right. And she's going through. This one's... All right. Here's a question. You're in control of the camera. Did you cut yourself before you did that?

I didn't cut to myself at all. Some things are just for you guys. All right. Cut yourself again and do it again. So my mom can watch. She's asking for your videos, too. I want to see Amelia's bike video. She's saying that over and over again.

I was like, I don't know if I want to show you these videos. They're a hit. I got to see this bike video. I've kept been hearing about these bike videos. I've been doing some man on the street videos on a bike. It's been fun. Whoever you talk to, they love you instantly. Well, we select the, it's a very selected process.

It's fake. I mean, not everyone likes to be spoken to on the street. Just remember, your property of Do Boys media. Your IP. She's our IP now. You're Do Boy's IP. We own the rights to Amelia Marino and her likeness. Um, Mommy and I are going to, uh, a Dunsmore tonight.

How fun is that? I've never been. It's supposed to be really good. You got to try the cornbread. There it is. I am curious when you two go out, is she, uh, I like to try it all? Or does she keep it small? She is, first of all, she got in, um, she got in the car.

She said, when I first picked her up, said, looking, you're looking trimmer. And I said, thanks, ma. And I was annoyed. And then... Why would you be annoyed by that? Because she just doesn't have to bring that up. She doesn't have to talk about my weight the moment she gets here. I think that's a positive thing, but I understand.

And then she was like, well, you do, because she could tell I was mad. And I was like, what are you talking about? And then she went, no overhang and slap my belly. I went, you can't do that. Okay, that's a step too far. I'm with you on that. Yeah. Oh, okay, now I win you over.

My mom's a bit like corn pop. Always nice to me. She's always nice to me. Yeah. So she likes to eat. It's this conversation of she likes, I love her, of course. Yeah. But she likes to eat.

She's always concerned about my weight. She always, she's been concerned about my way for a long time. She's happier that I've lost some weight through Zepbound. I didn't take my shot this week. She doesn't know. She's like, do you take your shot last night? I was like, uh-huh. Wait, how come?

Because I want to eat good food. You want to eat. Yeah, fair off. And also, it has been this sort of thing where, like, on GL-1s, I feel like there's sometimes where I'm just like, I've taken this for like five months and I feel just like a little nauseous. I want to, I just want to take a week off. So that's kind of what I planned to do this week.

A little bit of a cheat week. A little bit of a cheat week. That's fine. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. I'm doing a cheat week. It's fine. Loyal to your mom, but cheating on your diet. She's going to, uh, I think he's a loyal to your mom, but cheating on your dad.

I was like, what the fuck is that going to be? Going to see another dad? Yeah. My dad's dead. You know that. Yeah, I know. You didn't have to bring it up. Rest in.

I also didn't bring him out. All right, that's fair. Okay, I misheard you. Someone said it blew their, I know, don't read the Reddit. This is funny, though. I was reading the Reddit, and someone said, it blew their mind that you met the Whammer, who was my dad, my dad's nickname was the Whammer. Which is that, why does it blow their mind?

I don't understand. We've known you for a really long time. Yeah. But you did. You met the way. It might be because he'd passed before we started the podcast, and that seems like a very long time ago. Especially maybe if you started listening the podcast when you were 14 or something, as we know some of our fans have.

which is insane. Yeah. And now they're 24. That's disgusting. Oh, they started year one. Yeah, sorry. The math wasn't perfect there. Look, anyway.

They started last year. They'd be 15. Maybe still 14. My dad... Yeah. My dad was like... I don't want to say he was frugal because he was generous.

He would be generous. But he would always be like, he'd always be grumpy about a very lovable man. A very, very... Everyone loved my dad. He was a very nice guy, but would always be like, it's too, like he didn't want to spend, he felt like he didn't want to spend a lot of money.

And my mom was taking that over a little bit last night. So we were like, I'm going to Dunsmore. And then I sent her the menu. And she was like, oh my God. It's going to be $150 per person. I was like, yeah, that's kind of what it is. And she's like, and they don't even have cocktails. That's what she said afterwards.

And I was like, yeah, they don't have cocktails. I mean, she has a point. I was like, they have wine. You know what I mean? She's a lust. She can take one night off of drinking. But anyways, this is how she's upset that the menu is a little pricier. But then I've always, I always take her to, like, good restaurants when she's out here since she was like, it's going to be good.

And she's now excited to go. You're going to wear a nice shirt? Is this a nice shirt? Is this a nice shirt? Way in with your thoughts in the comments. If you think Mitch can wear this shirt to dinner with his mom. I'll put on, maybe I'll put on a nicer shirt before I go. I think our restaurants are 9.

It's 930. Wow. I know, I know. She doesn't mind a late night? She doesn't, no, she's, I get my night owl tendencies from her likes. Wow. If you wanted to know. My dad was an early, right.

My dad was, like, up at, like, 5.30 or six. That's more like me. More like you. In bed by 8.30? Boy, my dreams. In my dreams. No, I usually between 10 and 11. It depends.

Last night was a little later. But, you know, you're doing, like. I try to get eight to nine hours of sleep. night. It's not always possible. But I try to also have a regimented time when I'm waking up. And I also like have the curtains drawn so that when the sun's hitting me, that'll make me wake up. Wow. Yeah. Circadian rhythm. Got it. Yeah, exactly. It's huge.

Do you sleep through the night? I do. I've been having really intense dreams lately because I like when I went off of my SSRI. And then as a result, it's just like it's completely kind of, I don't know. It feels like I have like a new level of consciousness when I'm, when I'm, when I'm, when I'm, when I'm, when I'm, him with sleep now. He's seen dead people, just to be clear. Yeah. No, it's really, it's, it's really unnerving, honestly. It's like more real than reality. He's, he, he's, he, he, he, he for real did see, he saw what he thought was, wait, what did you say? I said, I feel like Paula Trades. He's having dreams of Aracas. See visions of his future self, you know? Yes. Yeah, no, he's right. He is like Paul

Atreides. He's seen a ghost. I did see a ghost. Yeah, I saw a ghost in, in your dream? Yeah, in home. I was like I was I was asleep in the couch and I've told the story before in the podcast, but the quick version, I, I, I woke up in the middle of the night and then saw the, the clearest apparition I've ever seen, um, seated in front of the door. Uh, basically like, not, not, didn't seem threatening. A faceless red cloak, a red and white cloak. And, um, you know, appear to be female, uh, uh, uh, yeah, yeah, like, like shoulder length or longer hair. And just like looking at me with like with like an all like a face that was just in shadow and seem to be warning me not to go outside.

Don't move up. Wait, what's the thing? Don't raise up. Don't raise up. Don't raise up. Don't raise up. Yeah. I raised up a little bit.

The shoulder length. Wow. Yeah, it was weird. But now it seems like maybe your medication caused some of this. Well, this was before the change, but it's possible. I think probably the most plausible thing is something that like Amelia I have talked about, which is that it was some sort of, you know, it's just like a really vivid hallucination,

dreamlike state. Like, not that there was an actual ghosty. I think the most, I think the, the, the, the, the most plausible thing is, uh, a rift to the spirit realm. It might have been a rift to the spirit realm. I don't rule that out. I think you, I think you saw a ghost.

Yeah. I want to believe. I like the, I like thinking that. It's fun. But you also don't like ghosts. I don't like ghosts, but I'm fine with it haunting you. I have no issue with that. That's fine with me.

I'm not worried. Are you screaming at night? Can you do a night scream? I have had night terrors in the past, but have not had them recently. That's a great question to ask him in general. Are you screaming at night? You screaming at night? I'm a bit of a night terrorist person in a screamer at night.

Don't raise up. I don't want you guys jerking off to that statement. No, I'm just kidding. Please do. Please do. Yeah, like screaming at night is wild because the person that's in the house with you or whatever, is what do you do? Sure, yeah.

You think that that is, that's scary, that's a scary one because you think that something's wrong with the person that you care about. Yeah.

No, I'd wake up like, hmm, huh, huh, like that's sort of like that level of, that's how you wake up. Yeah, well, because I'd have like an anxiety attack,

later what I learned was going on is I was having anxiety attacks in my sleep. And so I was basically like, just like vocalizing like that and you know, Natalie would be like, would be like,

it's so good, try to calm me or whatever, which usually worked but some other times, has backfired. Yeah, so. She needs a bedside trank for you. You woke up like that.

That would be a lot for me. I now have, we know for me, nothing. I just, I have the CPAP mask out. So you'd sleep right through that. I'd, I would probably sleep through. But yeah, I would probably sleep through it. Though I am, I am kind of a, the way I get woken up a lot is Wally will come up and like walk on my body and then start squawking a little bit.

And then, but I'll fall back to sleep moments later. But before that. I saw actually there's like, I saw that there's some species of, of whale that use a version of a C-Pap. Yeah, it's called an under-seap. Under the C-Pap?

Yeah. The whale himself should have used one. He used a regular C-Pap. Did he use one, though? I said, I don't think they did. I mean, like, even in that movie, like, him just taking a step, it was like, it was like so, which is, it was insane.

We've talked about, we've talked about how the whale sucks. Speaking of Don't Raise Up, That was his downfall. It was raising up. Once he raised up, he floated away. He shouldn't have floated away. Mitch, you got to play your drop.

Sam hit him with a drop or Emma or Amelia, rather. Like if you can pee in on. Adult diapers work great for pissing. For pissing. For pissing. Yeah, it's fun. For pissing. Yeah, it's fun.

For pissing. If you're in a pinch, though. You just came. You just came. You just came. You just came. You just came. What fuck are you talking about?

It's a potent mix. That was pretty good. That was pretty good. That was pretty damn good. 30 second drop from scratch. So should be fine for DMCA. Hey, Dofam. Wait, wow, that was just a note.

Hey, dofam, I've listened to every episode over the years and never asked. Should the be fun? boys occupy more of my time. Well, now I have, and as a clear sign, that I've got no responsibilities, here's my first try at a drop inspired by Tiger's fellow alumni, the D-O-D-O-G. Wow, how about that? See you again when you're back in the New York City area, probably not in Newark this time. Thanks.

He didn't say thanks, actually. Just 10. I thought he said thanks. It was just Henry Z. Thank you, Henry Zia. Good first after. Thank you, Henry Zee. Yeah, those was great.

Drops at bird fuck.com. And at first time dropper, long time guest, return to the show. One of our favorites from AP Bio, Freakier Friday. And hey, Randy, Mary Sona's here. Hi, Mary. Hi, guys. You're clapping.

We did it. Even though my co-host does not want me to mention this, rest in peace to Dolly Parton. What are you doing? Why would you say that? My co-host doesn't want me to memorialize her at all. I just want to say rest is peace, Dolly Parton. She passed away today.

We're recording this today. She passed away. This episode's coming out in about a month. So, you know, but perhaps... You talked a lot about Dolly Pond. Certainly time stamping it, um, the episode and perhaps bumming people out a second time. But rest and power. A legend.

A true great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone who actually deserves the title of legend. I agree. She was... And I opened up my iTunes stay. I told you this. And Islands in the stream was paused, which I thought was a...

wild because it was just on shuffle. Wow. I thought it was kind of crazy. Maybe it's not that crazy, but whatever. I listen to it all the time. I love islands and I do like islands in the stream. It's a good song. And I've been to Dollywood. Dollywood was a great.

Have you ever been to Dollywood? No. No, it's a fun amusement park. Sam Meeley, you ever been to Dollywood? No. I'm interested in it. Me too. It's fun.

They have like a little replica of her like cottage that she grew up. It's tiny. It's like a little tiny shack. They got that at the Nixon Library, too. You can see Nixon's home. They go to Nixon Lodge? Yeah, they got the, because Nixon's, uh, Nixon's dad bought, like, Gump's not there.

They, there is like a little, before. Yeah. Okay. There is like a little, like, trail you can see where Gump ran. Oh, that's kind of by the museum on the periphery, but he's not actually there. Have you ever been to the Gump Library? Um, there's the thing about the Gump Library. Uh-huh.

There's not that many books. It wasn't much of a reader. Yeah, you open up a book in chocolate. It's a bar of chocolate. He was using him as secret chocolate boxes. I think Gump was using a lot of his books as secret chocolate boxes. Well, some of them, some of them also were his shrimp stashes. Yeah.

And that shrimp's been there for a while at this point. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But a lot of them are just tails, though, because he did. He went to work at him. Well, that's the other thing with a lot of the chocolate boxes. Those chocolates aren't there anymore. Yes. They're just rappers.

Have you ever been to the Bubba library? Now there's two of them. Yeah. Bubba is Bill Clinton's library. And then there's also Bubba Gump's. Yeah, and I haven't been to either. Okay. Yeah.

All right. Just wondering. These are good questions. So, Mary, I have a good question for you. If there was a Forest Gump or a Bubba Gump library, I definitely would. I'd be there in a second. Would you not? You go to the Bubba Gump library?

Yeah, you wouldn't? It seems cool. I think it sounds fun. What would be? Yeah, what would be there? I don't know. That's part of the reason I'm going. It sounds exciting.

Curiosity is who can conceive of such a thing? Yeah, I guess so. Character from Forrest Gump have his own library. Yes. That is a part of it. Yes. Right.

Okay. I guess I'd go. Yeah, you 100% would go. You've been to the Nixon. Oh, wait, or did you go to, was the Reagan Library. No, I went to the Nixon Library. You went to the Nixon Library.

You're up in California. Home of a hometown of Jess McKenell. It's not a book. They do have that. They do have a Nixon Stanley saying, It's not a book? Next to a TV, and you're like, man's not a liar. Tell the truth.

I just thought we were going to have fun today. I'm having a hilarious guest, right? It seems like you're mad about the idea of a forest gump library. I'm just asking questions. We're talking toast today, Mary, and you are from Champaign, Illinois. Do you like toasting, the act of two toast? I like both toasts. Yeah, both toasts are fun.

When I was at Second City, we would wear the same, you know, costume dresses every night. And one day I had consumed seven pieces of white bread and later put that dress on to do a show. And you know I blasted out of it. I fully ripped. And I guess I should have known that that was not normal when I told that to one of my co-workers. she was like seven pieces of toast. Is that a lot? It sounds like a great day.

Yeah. You feel like it would not? It sounds like a lot of toast. But what was the context? Just like you were just having piece individual. No, no, no, no. I'm saying seven, I would love to eat seven pieces of toast. Like I've had, I think.

Why don't you? It's a lot of toast. I'm not. I get that extra shot, you got. I didn't know why it was going to aggress me on this day. No, explain like what, like are you having that just toasted white bread? with like some sort of spread on it? What were you eating exactly?

What was the context? I think at that point, I did not know I had ADHD and it had become like a hyperfixation meal. And I was like, well, there's this whole thing of a whole loaf of bread. I'll just go really hard on this one thing. And a lot of butter. A lot of butter.

Yeah. I mean, that sounds great. Like buttered bread, buttered toast, some of the best food in the world. I could easily, in one breakfast sitting, I could do four pieces of toast. That's what I was going to say. I used to do like four pieces of toast.

But that's easy. Four pieces of white of white toast. I take that down, no problem. If I was pushing it. Three more pieces? Was it all in one meal? What was the? It was sort of spread out, but probably not that spread out.

Was it all, was it with other food or is that like what you ate? No, that was it. That was it. I don't think that that's that crazy. I think seven pieces of toast is, it is like what a blues brother orders, I believe. Absolutely. And it's enough to rip a dress. So at that point, it's a self-reflective moment.

But I do want to ask, have you ever had the Panera tomato basil bread cut thick? No. Oh, you are not living, baby. Oh, my God. It is extremely cool. Is that a, you can request it cut thick? Is that, okay, God, I did not know about this hack. Yeah.

Sounds good. It sounds good. It sounds good. And I love a tomato soup at Panera, so maybe I'd be dunking that in there, too. I think you would. Are they toasting that some bitch? They're toasting that. Okay, wow.

They're toasting that. She didn't want to eat some bitch. Sam, you worked at Panera. Yeah, that's right. Sam worked at Panera. Do you remember this tomato basil loaf? It was on the BLT that I got, the bacon turkey bravo. Oh, right.

And did they toast it? No, that would have been way better. Was it thick? No. And when I used to work there, it was thicker, too, and it's different now. But, I mean, you skip on product, charging more for it. Dang. Shitification.

Did you ever get a little time? Did you ever get a little time? Did you ever get your field a request as a worker there to cut something thick? I don't remember being able to change the gauge on the bread cutter. Wow. But I did have to cut bread, so I don't know, yeah. But you must have been able to. Also, you can hand-sler-right?

You can hand-slice a thing or no. You can. Or are you calling me? How long is I going to take? Hand-clothal. Yeah, might as well use that slicer. If I did, it would just be, like, all mushy and, like, asymmetrical slices. Yeah, the bread.

Working the bread knife is a little tricky. I've never quite gotten the hang of it. I always feel like I got like a slightly like, you know, a misshapen individual piece of bread. And then I'm having a sandwich and it's all lopsided. You know, I can work with it. And I'd rather have fresh bread than, you know, like a good quality bread that I'm slicing home versus pre-sliceed and it's got loaded with additives.

But, you know, it's, it's, the bread knife is a tricky thing to work. Very much. I want to ask you, if you're doing a subway, are you getting it toasted? Subway, yeah, I'm probably generally getting toasted, but I'm also just trying to do anything to mitigate the low quality of Subway. And so I think like adding that little texture to it, adding a little bit of meltiness to the cheese. If I'm in boring mode, I mean, I haven't had Subway in forever.

So this is a fair. But when I wasn't like boring, I'm just going to eat turkey and Swiss on wheat toasted with vinegar. I'll get red wine vinegar, turkey with Swiss cheese toasted, and then onion. And that was it. And it was like, this is like the most boring thing, but it was just food and felt close to hell. I know it's a loaf of bread at the end of the day, but I was like, for me, especially back in the day, I was like, this is healthy. This is healthier than what I normally get. And I was, I was fine with that boringness of subway at that point when it was just like, these are calories that are going in.

But I don't, I don't eat that way anymore. What's your go-to? That's over. Those days are over. What's your go-to subway order? Very nastily. I like the tuna. I did used to really like that tuna too.

I think the tuna is, I think that's one of the best choices you can get at Subway. I really do. I think it's great. Have you ever done a soy patty there? No. It always look very gnarly to me. Yeah. We maybe have actually, because we've gotten the veggie delight or whatever the fuck it's called.

And I think that does have those soy patties, which are pretty low grade. We've sadly done every, we've done everything. I'm going to say this. Jake Blues, his order, is four whole fried chickens and a Coke. Elwood, which is Dan Aykroyd, I believe. He orders dry white toast, nothing on it. So I don't know if it's not seven slices, but he orders dry white toast.

It could be seven slices. It could be seven slices. I think the idea is that it is quite a bit of toast. The commonality is white toast and Chicago area. I guess I said that her order sounded like a Blues Brother. Yeah, sure, right, yeah. Also, they're in the Joliet Prison, which one of our good friends

is from Joliet. How about that? Do you know who it is? No, remind me. No. Okay. You know who it is? Is it Tim Baltz?

That's right. Oh, it's Balt. Yeah, we talked about it with Bals. I couldn't remember him is Baltz or Lily. It's Bals. Yeah, it's Baltz. We love Tim. Yeah. Great guy.

I love Lily. I'm more of a Lily gal, but I like women. Team Tim. So you're like is white bread, is that your go-toe? Or are you like, are you open-minded on bread? The white toast was just in the specific scenario. I'm team both. I just had to make that clear.

I love both of them. Yeah, go on, like, sorry. Sorry to interrupt. I got scared. And I would tell you, this is the guy, I'm team Lily, too. We love Lily. We love him. That's true.

Yeah. And they're married. That's true. They love each other. One more hope. Wait, what is this toast question you had? What is your, like, what is your go-toe? I like sourdough.

Sourdough's a great bread. What about you? Yeah, you know. Isn't it a nasty little name, sourdough? It doesn't sound like it should be good, but it is very good. That's a good. Surprises you. Good point.

Well. You know, I will say sour cream sounds worse, and sour cream also good. Yeah? A good point. Like sour cream? I don't want that. Cream's gone bad. I do.

Yeah, exactly. What about cheese curd? Cheese curd sounds pretty gross. Cheese curds do sound. Were you, were cheese cream? Curds big and, like, no. Really? No. No. One state over, basically. Yeah. Yeah, you go to Wisconsin, you go to Colvers. You get yourself some quality curds. And by the way, I did go to Culver's when I visited home recently.

That food is good. Culver's is great. That fish sandwich? Have you had it? Yeah. Wow, it's perfect. It is just, it seems like a place that's not, hasn't been, the insudification process hasn't started there yet. Yeah, maybe it hasn't been yet wholly consumed by private equity. I don't know what the ownership of, uh, of Culvers is these days. I mean, I'm sure some, some ghoul owns that. Wendy's CEO just, I think this last week, now a little dated, but this last week said, um, uh, that they food wasn't there. Like he was like, we messed up.

Food hasn't been the priority. It's like, what the, what was? I don't know. I mean, like, that is that's the, like, well, like, why don't know what they were doing. It's time you here is just kind of like, you're just doing the Burger King thing now. Yeah, they are. I mean, 100%. And now you're like, like, we messed up.

Like taking accountability, that's going to boost our market share. You messed up and you changed stuff and like you lose people's trust. You know what I mean? I don't know what to say. It's true. Well, last time I was here, you guys told me that the Wendy's chicken sandwich was not what it was. No. I had it and you're so, so right.

Yeah, they fucked it up. They fucked it off so bad. Are they back? Not yet. They're not back yet. They were really, they, Wendy's was near and dear to my heart. Yeah. I loved Wendy's and they, I've always said since, since they had, you know, like they had the

yellow cartons and stuff like that. Once they changed their fries for me, I was like, that was the start of the dip and that they've never, they've just gotten worse and worse. It's like changing the Big Mac. It doesn't make any sense to me. Well, also getting rid of Biggie, I think it was another thing. The Biggie Size, yeah. Oh, they got rid of it? They got rid of that years ago, yeah. They got rid of Biggie Size. Now they've changed, like, to me, what is their best sandwich? So why would you change your best sandwich? It doesn't make any sense. How toasted do you like to go? Like, where are you going on that toaster dial? Good question. Six or? Oh, six.

Six. Amelia was thrilled You're way so excited to do that. Amelia was thrilled that Dolly Parton only follows 67 people on her Instagram and it will be like that forever. That's what she said. Yes, it will be like that forever.

Rest in power. Rest and peace, Dolly Parton. One of the best. Yeah. Wait, so you're going up to six. I'm six seven. What about you? I mean, I think I feel like I have around five. Maybe I'd go to four and a half.

Because I want a good amount of texture to it, but I don't want it like, and look, like, as we learn from the movie, Tony, black is not burnt. You can have a, you can have a, a, a, a, a blackened food that is not, that have a burnt quality to it, that is, that is enhancing the flavor. But I feel like, is it's, it's true at the end of the movie. He says, my name is, is Anthony Bourdain. It's, it's, it's like the Robin ending in, in, uh, and, uh, dark night rises. Like, why don't you go by your real name? Robin. It's that, but was Anthony Bourdain. Wow. Because they've been telling him, he goes by Tony the whole time. My name's Tony.

And then someone's got, like, You should go by Anthony. And at the end, the movie's like, my name is Anthony Bourdain. And cut to credits. Guess what? I'm seeing it this week with, with, um,

mummy and me. We're going to a mommy and me screening. That's fun. One of those early screenings where they let their moms and their babies in. I'm going with my mom. That'll be a hoot. Yeah, it'll be fun. Yeah.

Just crying. Get in some nursing for all times. Oh my God. Weggs. We can get that out of the episode. But it's basically Bordain begins. Keep it in. I want people to see how sick you are.

It's Bordane Begins. Bourdain begins is fun. Stavros is in our friend of the pod. We love Stavv. I like Matt Johnson. Directed Blackberry, directed Nirvana the band, the show of the movie. Yes.

Yeah, you know. I got to go see it. I love it. Yeah. I'm going to see it. I'm seeing it. He's going to see it. So you're going to 6-7.

How toasted are you on with yours? Hmm. This is, this is, I'm thinking here. This is, this is, this is, this is, uh, I, I made, we made breakfast this morning. My mom and I. How fun is that? Five eggs scrambled for the two of us. Sure.

Five eggs scrambled. You have, you thrown anything in that scramble? No. You're doing, you're doing yolks for all five eggs? Yeah. Okay. So five whole eggs. What the hell?

I don't know, sometimes people do a mix of like, like, oh, I did like three egg whites and two whole eggs or something. Oh, boo to that, I say. All right. I'm just saying that's, I think people do that. This is a valid question. We put in some milk. We put in some two. percent milk to scramble them.

Yeah. In Amelia's parlance, you put some milk in there to fluff up that cock sucker. That is, that is. We put some milk in there to fluff up that cock sucker, I guess, is Amelia, if that checks a box for you. I get that language from Wiger. Wait, hold on. I learned that from you. All right, that is true.

That is true, but you're not supposed to out him on the corner of the clock. I didn't put that into an outline. That was you. We scrambled We scrambled a It was five eggs What's it called? Salt

No Lactose-free 2% milk We whip them up She did She was doing all the whipping I came downstairs And they were on the stove already

But I then took over the toasting duties wise There you go My ninja air flip uh um uh toaster oven uh slash what is it called uh i don't know air fire air fryer so air fryer so air fryer toaster oven but i do i like right in the middle i don't like things too toast i don't want it to be too crisp i like it to still be a little bit soft but warm so i'm saying i'm going like i'm going five i'm going yeah i think five is right down the middle four maybe even four five and then this is the other talk about bacon because my mom likes her bacon crisper i like a little

I like it a little bit meatier, fatier. Where do you land on that? When I was eating bacon, I think I would go, I would also probably

kind of land right in the middle. I don't want it to super crispy. I don't, you know, I, like a little chewiness to the, I like a little bit of, yeah,

like a little bit of a little bit. No, not at all. It depends on the thickness of it. I like like a little, I like a little bit of the, yeah. No,

wow, this is, this is a, I'm going to say this. The people who are, Sam and Mary, you both, your reactions to this

are, we're both angry, disgusted faces shaking your head. Absolutely. Everyone else who is on board, big shaking your head, yes. I think we got, this seems to be a controversial subject, Wags. Yeah, it seems like we get classic controversial subject. People like they're baking differently and they feel strongly about it. It's controversial. There's no other word to describe it.

Oh, you're up on your high horse. Not on my eyes. I'm agreeing with you. It is controversial. It's a classic controversial. subject. It is. Oh. You, I lost you when I went with the Gump Library.

You didn't, you haven't lost me. I'm having fun. I'm just happy that the anger is directed your way because, again, we know this. I know this is coming up, but that you were furious that I got the same order as you today. Hold on. Oh. I was not upset. He was fucking pissed.

I was not pissed off. In fact, I'll quote him. Wait, you're quoting me? And just say, thank you. at the end. Here we go. Liger, here's his order today. Watermelon feta toast, O.G.

Asai bowl, ice vanilla, sea foam latte, bottled watermelon juice for the table. Oink, o'ink, am I right? This guy making a big deal about seven pieces of toast, and his order is fucking out of control. Then afterwards, Amelia, Mary is getting that toast, too, in case that influences your decision. And then she put Mary's order. watermelon fetto toast green machine smoothie a very practical order whygs next line i want that fucking toast what is that wait how is that energy directed it's not at all directed at mary

read the next line Amelia i was just making sure because Mitch doesn't like ordering the same thing as other people so that's what is coming from which is not true It's true. Emma, watermelon toasts. Watermelon feta toast sounds fucking good. Amelia. Watermelon feta toast. And the tune to watermelon sugar high.

Never mind. Wyger. Hmm. Weiger now. You're standing up for this guy who doesn't like your joke. Me, next text, L-O-L. I give you credit for watermelon feta toast. The whom was neutral.

No. I don't mean you don't like something, but I appreciate that you tell me when you don't like something. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't not dislike it. You don't have to like it. It wasn't good.

It was good. It was good. And I like Lily. Anyway. I like that you took the swing. Thanks. Yeah. Hey, buddy.

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Mitch, if you can wake up tomorrow, be better at one thing. What would that be? Hmm. It'd be better at waking up. up, Weig's. Wow. Hey, that's a pretty damn good answer.

Not bad. Good answer. Good answer. Good answer. I, you know, I think it would be good if I could handle stress in healthier ways. Amen to that. All right. The point is better is a feeling defined by you.

And for better help, it's a better help therapist who really gets you. It's a focus on global emotional well-being with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's progress. And Weig's, therapy makes me better at getting the gunk out. Getting stuff out of my brain I want to be talking about talking with a therapist, talking with someone else. Going to the mental gym. Yes. It's like a gymnasium for the brain.

For the brain. The biggest muscle in the human body. That is true, Wig's. I don't think it's true. Oh, well, then you lie to me. But you know what? I like to think it's true. And I like therapy, Wags, and you like therapy.

Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash doughboys. That's better. H-E-L-P-com slash doobob. boys, do it. Hey, buddy, support for today's episode comes from Square, the system behind so many restaurants you already love. Mitch, if you've ever worked a lunch rush, you know there's no time for systems that don't work together.

Orders are flying in. Customers are lining up. Online tickets keep coming, and your team needs everything to stay in sync. That's where Square comes in. Whether you're selling tacos at a farmer's market, running a neighborhood coffee shop, or growing into your next restaurant location, Square grows with your business. Wise, I don't know that exactly, but I did work in a movie theater, and we got that rush coming. And there's a lot of movie theaters locally owned independent movie theaters that use

SquareWags. And guess what? Right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at Square.com slash go slash doughboys. That's SQ-U-A-R-E.com slash geo slash doughboys. Visit Square to get started because the right tools make all the difference. Mitch, I'm thinking about a coffee shop. It's walking distance from our place. Java. they sell that. They got it all. And it's a great business. It's a great little local institution. Why, so you're waking up your thing, get me my Java juice. I got to have my Java. But I'm not on my Java. I mean, don't talk to me before I've ever had my job. I agree, Wags.

Anyway, I go to this coffee shop. I'm a fixture there. It's a neighborhood staple. They use Square. And Square enhances the experience. It's seamless, quick payment. And it lets you have personalized services like rewards that's Squares technology enables. We go to a place right next door and not going to docks it because I don't want any of our listeners to come and see us, but they use Square. Wow. We'll have some drinks and some apps, and we charge it to a little Square app.

Businesses love it because it makes running a business feel a little less like putting out fires. Square simplifies the messy stuff. It works for one location, shops and businesses with multiple teams or service areas. You don't need an IT team or a degree in and counting, and it scales with you, whether you're selling from a stall or expanding to storefronts. No long-term contracts. fees, no complicated setup, just one system built to grow with your restaurant. That's right.

If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash doughboys. That's SQ-U-A-R-E dot com slash go-doh-boys. Run your business smarter with Square get started today. Hey, buddy, a good night's rest sets you up for a great day, and that's why I'm so happy with Helix. Now, here's the thing. Mitch, my co-host, my cohort, my friend, my, dare I say, colleague, has a moonlight-lux

mattress. And I know that bad boy has improved his sleep because he talks. talks about it all the time. Guide is talking a blue streak about this moonlight lux. Can't shut up about it. Can't keep his yapper shut. And that's because, to him, it's like sleeping on a cloud. Helix has over 20 mattress models so you can find the perfect model for you.

Helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the U.S. and 120-night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. Rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. The happy with Helix guarantee offers a risk-free customer-first experience design. to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand, tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. Go to Helixleep.com slash DoBoys for 27% off sitewide,

exclusive for listeners of Doe Boys. That's Helixleep.com slash doughboys for 27% off site wide. Exclusive for listeners of Do Boys! Anyways, let's get back on the track that Wigar is going on there. Do you like to toast in Champaign, Illinois? We love to toast. Is there a lot of like champagne and champagne? Do they do stuff like that?

People love to do that about champagne, but not the folks that live there. Right. Yes, of course. They'll say like, it's spelled differently. But just let people live. Yeah. That's all right. What kind of spread you do with your toast?

Because you mention butter. Like, for me, butter is all I need. A little bit of salted butter or if I get the unsalted butter, I'll just sprinkle a little salt on top of that some bitch. What kind of? What kind of butter? Well, look, here's the thing. This is one of those things I feel like Europeans make fun of Americans

for liking Kerry Gold butter. Because to them it's just like, that's just butter. But I like the carry gold butter. Me home countries butter. And also like so much of our food out here is like, despite us having a thriving dairy industry because of the lack of regulation, things are very low quality. So like you get a nice imported butter.

It reminds me of the Emeralds. I'm transported back every time to take a butter. I do, we had Kerry Gold butter this morning, Wags. And they also got Kerry Gold at Costco. So I'm like, there you go. I can stock up there in, right? I love it. Yeah.

It's my kind. Kerry Gold, I am such a, I like white toast toasted with butter, and that's it. I mean, look, of course I'll put peanut butter and jam on a toast. But overall, my favorite type of toast, toast butter melted in there. That's my favorite. I used to do toast butter when I was at, when I had younger pallid, toast butter. and then I'd put some jam on top of it. But then I was like, the jams unga-pachka.

I just need the butter. That's the flavor I want. Our favorite flavor when we did the flavor it. It's true. Butter? Butter. That butter won out. Who would have thought that with this podcast,

the winner of favorite food was butter? We're so dumb. If you are going to spread something other than butter on it, though, on your toast, what do you go with? I like jammy egg. Jammie egg's fun. And I love like a jalapeno. cream cheese.

Oh, I love that too, because I'm a bit of a heat seeker, so we have that opportunity to spice it up in the morning. What would you rather do? Here's a question for you. This might be another controversial one. You're using a piece of bacon to put some egg on there and then eating that, or you're using a piece of toast to do it. Toast. What do you do? This is such a clearly better delivery.

Bacon for me. I like toast with just butter. That is the, I do like running out. Like, I'll dip my toast into the yolk, but I like to do a little piece with the bacon. But what are you doing? You're using your bacon as like a, a, a. fork? Yeah, a tiny little plate.

Yeah. A little edible plate. Like the bed of rice under like a thing of sushi? Like, it's like that's, it's like the baseline? The egg is the silver surfer and the bacon is the board. Okay, got it. Does that make sense? It does.

I'm just like, I would never think of using it that way. Maybe that's my own functional fixiness. Meals, you're not along, Sam? Yes, I use the, I use the bacon as a, as a spoon for the yolk. Wow. Wait, so you're, okay, so you're saying like a runny egg. I can wrap my mind around that a little bit more. Right?

That's what you're saying. I do it with scrambled. I'll just, I'll just. I'll do both. There you go. Interesting. Never would have thought of it. I'll give it a go.

If I, if I mean anything. Have some more fun at breakfast, my man. I'm having a fucking blast at breakfast. Doesn't seem like it. You seem pretty mad right now. No, I'm loving breakfast. I'm eating breakfast. I'm at a time of my fucking life.

And let's just say that the anger translated it over from, I want that fucking toast. You're mad that Mary got the watermelon. I was not mad that she got the toast. You're eating lunch. You break two forks. I did break course of lunch. I did break two forks. You're pissed off, eating your watermelon toes, looking at, looking at Mary's plate, seeing that she had it too and breaking your fork.

This is all projection because I. I wasn't mad. I wasn't mad. I was not mad at all. I was not even a slagued. You broke those for? You looked at me dead in the aisle. I was like, I used to have fun here.

I'm shocked that you used to have fun here. Yeah, speak for yourself. Amelia got the same thing I got thinking it would make me mad. Did not care. In fact, probably sucks for you because it just wasn't very good. Yeah, but I do love peach and brajute. It's the best. What about deeply underripened peach?

Yeah. Well, yeah, we'll talk about that. We'll get to it. I do want to ask about in the toast realm, French toast, where do you stand? Jesus Christ. I'm more of a waffle gal. Yeah, that's fair. I mean, I think I would take waffles over if you left Mitch hanging.

That's fine. It's fine. It didn't deserve it. It honestly didn't deserve it. I can tell when sometimes you don't deserve it. I don't deserve a high five for liking waffles. I think you bailed too early. No, I don't think I deserve a high five for liking waffles.

I think a lot of people do. I think you do deserve it. I think that's fine. I think you just bailed too early because Mary, her eye line just did not. You were outside of her peripheral vision. It's fine. I think it was the right thing to bail on it. It's honestly not fine.

That is humiliating. I'm so sorry. It's like that and walk into a screen door with a pizza. Those two are really level there. Hey, come on. There you go. And that was humiliating too. He took it again.

I'm always here for you. The texture of waffle is great. I also like that like you get to have the syrup reservoirs built into the waffle. How fun is that? never mind. This guy is having fun at breakfast. He's got the little reservoirs going. You're having fun. All right. That's fair. One time I was a Boy Scout camp, and we had waffles.

I think it was waffles. Yeah, it was waffles. And I cut my waffle up first, and then I realized I hadn't buttered it yet. And so I was like, I got to butter my waffle. And so I buttered each individual piece. And this old man was there, one of the old scoutmasters. And he thought it was the funniest thing he'd seen his life. He kept talking. He was laughing

His kid's butter and every single piece of waffle. He just kept, he like was losing his mind. He was like catatonic with laughter. Jesus. Maybe the most I ever killed. I wasn't even trying to be funny.

I was just like, I was like, oh, I got to do this. I've worked with you for 10 years and it is the funniest thing I've ever heard from you. Nick, you and I should hang out. That's the guy. Was he doing it in a way

that made you feel? like, yeah, I am funny? Or did you feel like he was taking a piss? I thought he just thought it was like a little fat kid being really weird. And I thought he was like, I think he was laughing at me, not with me. Because I clearly wasn't even, I wasn't even trying to be funny. I was just trying to get my butter. This is a lot of laughs I got when I was able to.

We'll put a reenactment of this at the Doe Boys Library. Okay, great. The Do Boys Library, we could stack with all the books that I've read over the, the course of my life. Great. Mario 64 strategy guy. Primal one. This is good stuff.

I think you are right that the funniest thing in the world. Like my, the Mitchell, my dad's side of the family would like tell stories about one of my dad's friends walking into the sliding glass door. And like you're saying like that's one of the most embarrassing things. They talk about that for general, but it has like the funniest,

craziest thing to happen. I feel like that is like a generational thing of someone walking into a door. You ever walked right into like a paint of glass? I've never, I've been lucky enough that I've never done that. Because I'm a very clumsy guy, and I would have done it.

I know. I figured you would have done it. No offense. No, yeah. A clumsy guy? I'd say I'm pretty clumsy, yeah. I'm sorry, I spill a lot. They call me spillmonger.

He is spillmonger. Yeah. I think I'm walking through that door if I slam into it. You're shattering the glass. I think I'm shattering the glass. I'm just going to keep going It's cracking as I'm moving

I think I would just like go If I didn't notice I think I'm just going full force But I've never luckily I've never done that I did once I was at I maybe told this story before But what is podcasting except repeating the same anecdotes I was at AAA And I don't remember what the fuck I was doing

But I was like updating my renters assurance or whatever. It doesn't matter. But I was in there and I was like in a small cubicle with the woman who was helping me. And when I stood up to leave, I tripped and I took her cubicle wall down with me. Jesus. You spilled an office?

It was like such a huge, like, spectacular fall. It was like, you know, um, it was like a creamer-esque pat-prat fall. And then she said, she said, um, that's never happened before. And in my head, I'm like, yeah, no shit.

I really wish people would not say shit like that. God, damn. What do you want for me? I just ripped a cubicle in half. You don't need to tell me. It's like auditions when I first moved out here, they'd be like, huh, we have never seen it done like that. Like, just keep that shit to yourself.

I know exactly what you're talking about. I auditioned for New Girl, for the role of coach. and in the audition you were supposed to like he's like getting mad and I was slamming my foot and a oh

and I slamming my foot and a panel fell from the ceiling and like it fell in like in the auditioning room wow and they were like oh my god that's like crazy I was like yeah sorry and then did you hit the ceiling or was it just the force no it's me stomping and a panel fell from the ceiling and wow Elizabeth Meriwether or whatever was like

oh oh that was crazy and I was like, well, all right, well, bye, this sucks. It was wild. I know, it wasn't my fault. But, yeah, then they're like, oh, whoa, that we've never, like, the same thing. Like, we've never seen that. And like goodbye forever is kind of the end result of what happened. That's like Donkey Kong behavior.

It was donkey Kong. I agree with you. It's like something that happened just before a boss fight. It's true. This guy's bad news. It's busted up the ceiling. Yeah, that was a bit of a corn pop. Wow.

I can't believe you spilled an office. That is next level. spilling. Yeah, and Kramer-esque. Not the only thing about you, that's Kramer's. I've seen some of his early

sets at the laugh after. Why on cameo? What is your favorite food texture? Like, we're talking, because toast to me is like, is like one of the top textures. Hey, you know what? You're coming loaded with the questions today.

I like it. I'm thinking, I'm just thinking deeper about toast. Yeah. Yeah. I have two favorites. I love candy, as you know. Yeah, sure.

I do like a gummy. Two things you're not supposed to eat with the ground. I know. And they can pull the ground out. And this is what, well, this is what a giant fat ass I am. I love candy so much that I just keep sneaking it onto the other side where I have two fucking implants.

Like, don't mess. Stop eating candy. Like, you can't do that anymore. You're talking to the king of the fat asses here, me and Nick. This is the truth. We started a food podcast. We started this podcast. It's disgusting.

I just recently had nerds gummy clusters. You know what's crazy? All right. There's a couple things. Nerds gummy clusters, but now have you had the juicy nerds gummi clusters? No. I had Wags try them.

Wags. Yeah, so here's the thing. Because you made a side eye at me because I've said in the past, as you know, that gummy ain't yummy. I'm a gummy skeptic. I didn't do that because of that, but you deserve that. No, but, but Mary did that earlier and it's totally fair when, when gummy was brought up. You just mentioned it.

You just threw it to me, Mitch, because that's one of the gummies that kind of was like, okay, I see what you're up to. Like, I think the mixture of the, the texture on the outside, the little bit of crunch, and then the also, uh, that little squirt, it's just, it just, it's, it's, there is a little squirt. He's not lying. I think those two elements, it just pluses it up and I was like, okay, I could get on board with this gummy. I thought, I thought it was pretty good.

Don't raise up, but there, there, just don't raise it. Do you stay for the little squirt. Absolutely. No, but did you like the gummy cluster minus squirt? Yeah, the squirt The squirt didn't hurt But the squirt didn't put it over the top Okay

Yeah, okay Like I like the squirt But it's not like without the squirt This is a nerd Oh Jesus Christ, stop saying it Sorry Without the squirt This is inert

I just picturing you in a sex club Highly vetted Highly vetted Oh hey middle bitch Good hypothetically. Yeah. I, okay, I, so I had this crown on, and they, they told me, no, they were like, no candy, no gummy, no gum.

That's the end because they're like, you can pull your crown right out. But my tooth was cracked wise. And they said that they think, I was like, and they were like, oh, your tooth is cracked. And I was like, really? And they're like, that's a part of the reason why you could, you need, sometimes need to get a root canal is if you crack your tooth. guess what this might be a mystery that goes all the way back to when you and i and yusong had dinner together and i ate that piece of cartilage in the french dip sandwich and cracked my tooth that little bit of bone gave you a crack and then over the years that's and then finally i needed a rook now wow

that's why that is like year two doughboys that's what i'm saying whoa mystery solved what a long simmering subplot i mean look is it is but like i'm like i'm like when i'm thinking in my head of like the time where I'm like, I almost cracked my tooth. That's like, that's like one of the big moments that stands out in my head. This would be like if we did previously on Doe Boys. Because you know, you sometimes watch like, you're watching like a prestige TV show. And then all of a sudden they're showing, you're seeing a clip as like, why are they showing that clip from that episode? Let's put it in the beginning of the episode.

Yeah, previously on. We can put previously on Doe Boys and put in me talking about the, oh shit, it's going to be so hard to find. It's such a huge amount of work. Not for us, though. Mike and Emma. Start it with previews on Do Boys and me talking about the... There's someone who we can figure out, we can ask and say, when did this happen?

There's a way to do a transcript search probably of... Because the episode would have been when we went to South Beverly Grill with Yusong. I don't remember... David Phillips would have been our guest back today. Yes. There we go. So you could find that episode. We're going to do it. We're doing it.

And it will be totally worth it. It will be a nice payoff for the people who listened to this episode. Previously on Doe Boys. And then you just do it. that little bit, and then the episode starts, that's fun. And they're also like, wow, they never do this. They've never got previously on before. Yeah.

Wow. Okay. This is a good podcast. Yeah, it's a good podcast. It's a good podcast. This is good stuff. Mitch, where are you on food textures? Why?

I like them all. I mean, look, I am a little bit, I do like a softer. Of course I like a Doritos crunch. Yeah. But I think that I do kind of like a softer. texture more than I like a crunchier horror texture with food. Yeah, I think so. I have a very...

I don't like a goopy texture. Like, I don't want it to be like super goopy. But if you, but if it's... What a nice soft? Scrambled eggs? Yeah, that's all right. I had some sushi the other night. That was great.

I have a specific thing. And, you know, sushi is kind of in this ballpark as well. If we're talking like a, you know, a tempura roll or something like that. But I think like, when you get a little bit of squish, but you get a little bit of crunch. And for me, I'm thinking like the perfect bite of fried chicken. Like a, like a, like a, like a, you know, like a, a, like, biting into a fried chicken drumstick or thigh. That's some really well fried.

That's good texture. That's good texture. You like Jollaby? I do like Jollaby quite a bit. Do you like the spicy one? Yeah, I know you're a heatseger. It's pretty, the spicy one's pretty spicy. It is.

Some real propulsion to it. Yeah. But I definitely think Jollybee is right there with Popeyes these days. Last time I had Jollybee fried chicken, I was like, this is fucking hitting. It hits, but it makes my stomach hurts so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the big thing because, like, I still can handle the burn up here.

Right. It's down here where it starts to be an issue. you down in the gut biome. And so, like, you know, I'm dealing with rumblies down the line. They just have to make the calculus. Is this worth it? Right. I had sea butter last night.

That's the name of, uh, kind of similar to the salinity. The salinity of this, of this. We'll talk about it. We'll get into that. Sea, sea butter, it's like a sushi place. It's a sushi place that it seems like they're trying to say sugarfish, but in a different way. Ooh, I didn't think of that. Yeah, it feels like it's kind of like an off-label sugarfish.

It's like red mango. to pinkberry. Even though red mango, I think, predated pinkberry, which is fucking crazy. Really? It's like Hydrox and Oreo. Hydrox came first. My mom is just like, she's like, I want, she's like, let's get sushi. I'm sorry.

She's like, I also want geosa. She, and she like says geosa very strange. And I'm like, okay. And I'm like, it's not finding like good sushi that also has geosah isn't easy. And then I then sea butter had geosa. How was that seabutter? I've never had it. I thought it was pretty damn good.

Yeah. And then, but then I got there and she's like, this is beef kiosa? I don't want beef kioza? And I was like, oh, Jesus Christ. What the fuck? And what am I supposed to do? I love her. She's a great lady.

But, but yeah, and I didn't think of that till now, but it does seem very. It's adjacent at least. It seems very, yeah, it feels very much like they're doing a sugarfish, which I like, I think people are too mean to sugar fish. Well, they're both marketing in the same sort of way. Like, here's an approachable, like, you know, version of sushi. It's like upscale, but also we're going to walk you through. And guess what?

For me, whatever, now 12 or 13 years ago, I was like not a sushi skeptic, but I was, but that like got me into sushi more so. Like it was like helpful in a way. I like, I like a Sherpa. And now I feel like people are like, if you, if you go to Sugarfish, I'm like, it's not, that's good sushi. I like it. Sorry.

People are weird. People are weird. It's good. Yeah, what are you talking about? This feels like a straw man. People have turned, I mean, there was that New York Times article that. shit on the review of... I think you're right.

People were being mean to it. That was like 10 years ago, right? Yeah, but still, people are being mean to sugar. I think that they're just like, whatever, it's a chain or whatever. And I think that's, it's one of the good ones. It is a chain, but for as chain sushi goes, I mean, that's pretty am good. You can find an individual sushi restaurant in L.A. That's superior, of course.

But, you know, it's for what it's doing. Well, sea butter also good. You give it a try. Is it fresh? It's fresh. It's pretty good. And the price point is kind of equal to... Kind of similar.

Yeah, similar. Though it is, it is, that is, it is expensive. But so is, and so is sugarfish. But partly what you're doing, what you're getting out of there, though, is because I'm assuming you're getting a delivery and having it in your domicile. Yes, I am getting it delivering, having it in my domicile. So like a place like sea butter that's built off of the template of sugarfish is designed for to go, where some of these other sushi places.

Mother, should we get this delivery and have it in the domicile tonight? Wait, this does beg the question. because I remember watching a Real Housewives episode where one of the women were like, I'm stuffed. Oh my God, that sushi, I'm stuffed. And I just kept thinking, like, it was at sort of a fancy party where there was like a tower. How many, like, roles would it take to just be like, I'm cooked, I'm done? I don't think I've ever gotten stuffed off of sushi in that way where I'm like, like, in other ways where I've gone and had like a big steak turn.

I'm like, I'm going to die. You know what I mean? Like, where you've been like, I feel sick. Like, I've never done that with sushi. Really? The bloat of the rice? It didn't get you? No, I've never, like, I don't know if I've just ever, like, pushed myself to the limit that far with it.

But it would take me quite, I ate quite a bit last night. And my mom was like, you ate healthy. I was like, no, I ate so much food. Wait, so how many rolls we talk in? I had, I had eight pieces of a spicy tuna roll. Then I did, there was like an omicasse thing, which was seven pieces of soup. Then I had, when we keep going, I had four, I had four California rolls, four pieces. Then I had Gioza.

I had about six pieces of Gioza, five pieces of Gioza. But the Gioz is slightly affecting, slightly skewing things. Yeah. Because that's not technically sues. And then I had two spicy tuna on crispy rice. Of course, you might. That's fun. And so that's a pretty, that's pretty big.

That's a lot. That's a lot of food. Um, I'm embarrassed by it, but, but, I don't know. I don't know if that was, uh, that's, it was, it was a good, it was a good portion of food. Rest in peace, uh, Katsuya, we should say the chef who recently passed away. Oh, right. Who, uh, who invented spicy, uh, the spicy, uh, spicy general. You know, I'm never, I don't know if I, that's maybe what I should have gotten last night is a Katzuya.

Yeah, yeah, Katzuya. Oh, sorry I'm saying wrong. Uh, yeah, yeah, the place is yummy. Yeah. It's another place that I think has got, that got a little bit overhyped, but whatever. That, that, that's what happens when a place becomes successful and become a chain. But a California. me an institution.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to look something up on my phone, which I try not to do, but this is because I can't remember the name of the sushi restaurant I went to in Japan, but that's where I got stuffed

in the way you described. But before that, getting stuffed on sushi doesn't happen to you much often either, right? We've talked about this before, I feel like. He went to Japan.

Wags went to Japan with his other podcast, get played. Everything's fine. And it's fine. It is, it's, it's, I'm happy that he traveled. He never crossed an ocean. I never crossed an ocean before.

Though he did go to Hawaii, which is almost cheating in a way, but, uh, but, sushi show Saito. That's it, is that it? You found it in our text thread? Yeah. Sushi so, uh, Saito. 20 course tasting menu. Yeah, 20 course tasting menu.

And then so, so 20 pieces, 20, 20 sushi courses. And then the chef comes out at the end. The, it was awesome. It's like, it was, he was, it was so great. Um, we're chopping it up, having a blast. He loved. us and it's just six seats. And so like, you know, we're taking up half of the, the bar there.

He's crying and has to shut down his restaurant because he comes out of the end. So like, we're fucking stuffed. Heather Ann Campbell, one of my, Heather, one of my get like co-host, she's like tapped out. She's like, like, she's like, I'm done. She didn't even finish the 20 courses. He comes out at the end and he has more fish. And he's got his arms full of like, I've also got these other like six fish. Do you want any of these?

And then we've also got dessert for you afterwards. So like, and I'm sitting there. I'm just like, well, fuck. I've never had sushi in Japan before. And this is literally the best sushi I've ever had in my life. I'm telling this guy this. And I was like, I got to have these other fish, too. So that I probably effectively had, I think I had three or four of them.

So let's just, let's just say I had four. And then it's same. That poor chef trying to find new fish. I don't know this. But just imagine like, like, hey, 20 courses. And he's like, you know what else I have today? These six other fish that I'm just going to drop, like, throw at you like a rock at the end of his meal. And what are you going to do about it?

And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to eat some of them. Like sashim? Yeah, yeah. Some were sashimi. Some were, um, some were, um, nighiri. Some were, some were rolls. They're, they're all different preparations.

But, uh, uh, so I, I'd say that was the, that was the point I hit critical mass. So I'd say 24 is probably two dozen. Two dozen. Two dozen. Two, I said, you know what? Let's just call it 30 because this was pretty substantial. 30 pieces of sushi. 30 pieces of sushi.

I think I'm just absolutely at my limit. Okay. Yeah. I think I could do that. Yeah, I feel like I could slam more than that. I think I almost did that last night. 8, 12. I did like over 20 pieces of sushi last night.

Yeah, that's a good amount. Yeah. But this thing is it's like so dense and rich that I feel like you can have less quantity than something like, I don't know, then like fries, right? Yeah. Well, like, how many wings would stuff you? And not something like a hooters where that's clearly incredibly redded, but not also like a baked wing somewhere in between. That's a great question.

Like a like a ye rustic in wing. I would consistently, like if I was getting wing stopped for myself, I would like, I could easily crush 16 and that's just like, hey, that's like, that was a good. I usually order a dozen. And then if I want more, like 18, I'm like, I'm checked out. 18, because they're usually coming in quantities of. So, yeah, like, 18, I was like, that's, like, a good amount. Like, that's, like, a very filling meal for me. So I think I could also go up to 30.

Let's just say 32. I think I could do 32. 32 wings? I think so. Then why are you such a gigantic coward when it comes to sushi? I don't get it. Sushi is richer. Like, there's, I don't know, wings I can just kind of, like, go on autopilot.

Just work my way through them. You know what I mean? I would say this baby. I don't know what you mean. You were really working that wing there. I think if you have, like, like, okay, a flat and a piece of a Nigidi are like kind of the same size, right? Roughly.

But I think there's more, like, food in the, the sushi as opposed to the wing. Because there's a lot of bone in there. You're, like, you were brushing your teeth. You really went in there. I, I, you are a good wing eater. I think you're a better wing eater. I'm a great wing here. You like flats, right?

I do like the flat. And you sort of do that thing where you can just basically just take the bone out? Yeah, I'm, I'm just pulling out just bones. Gaboris is a deboner. He's a deboner. Gaboris is a deboner. Yeah, he'll put it in it. Relax over there.

I'm laughing because I said my boner. You're laughing because I said the word boner? This not only makes me feel bad that like we must get easy laughs from you, but you also don't laugh a lot at our podcast. So me just saying boner cause a laugh from you? I'm always laughing back here. You just don't always see it. All right. Shut the fuck up.

All right, let's get into this damn restaurant. Toastique. It was founded in 2018 in Washington, D.C.,'s wharf district. What? The wharf district. Oh, I thought you were trying to say wharf and you said it weird. I did. I did a little, I threw a little bit of a...

Oh, wait, it is wharf? It's wharf. Oh, what the fuck are you doing? I just threw a little bit of huh on it, like a little... You know? Don't do that. That's the tosteak way, baby. Yeah.

Like Colonel Tom talking about Elvis. Oh, what? Oh, he's hot. It's fun to do that. Wharf. Found in 2018 in Washington, D.C's Worf District, W-H-A-R-F-F-W-F, not W-O-R-F-F, do my Trekkees out there. Brianna Keefe and later partnered with Kyle Azette. Brianna was very young, a former competitive cheerleader, opened the first location before she turned 30.

So, like, it was one of those 30 under 30 people in food. We've never reviewed this before. I feel bad. I'm about to make fun of her. 68 locations in the – she's doing great financially. She's fine. across 25 states. Half of our United States have a toast teeth location. Amelia, what is this data point you have in here?

226 awarded locations. Those are future planned ones? Yeah, I got that from their website. So they're really scaling this some bitch up. Yeah. Wow. Not good. Not a good, in our experience, not great when they overflood the market.

Scaling quickly can be, you know, it can be a red flag. Because like, once you scale up, you have trouble retaining quality across all your, your myriad locations. But here's the thing about tosteak. Much like a fat burglar, it's sneaky big. Because you didn't, we'd never heard of Toastique.

I hated this. I hated this way I saw it in our text thread. This was in our text thread earlier. And I saw it, I was like, I don't like that. And then everyone kept repeating it. And I was like, what's going on here? My mom was here.

I wasn't paying like too much attention to. I was like, I don't like this. And now here it is. I'm just saying, like a fat burglar. sneaky and big. It's sneaky big. It's sneaky big. A sneaky big. Yeah.

Mary, you and I both got the watermelon feta toast. I was fine with that. You were pissed. I was totally fine with that. Broke two forks. Yeah, broke two forks. Two broken forks, mad. That's just me not knowing my own strength. Toasted halapeno. Now, this is why I got it. This is the whole thing. And same. Again, bit of a heat seeker. Toasted jalapeno and cheddar bread is the baseline. for this. One have you ever seen a breakfast toast, especially one that's more on the sweet

side with toasted jalapeno and cheddar bread as a baseline? Like that is a wild swing, but I was ready for it. Herbricotta cheese, watermelon radish, cucumber, arugula, diced watermelon, crumbled feta, pickled red onions, lime zest, red pepper flakes, balsamic glaze, and mauld and salt, whole bunch of components there. Yeah. What a list of ingredients. Love that malden salt. Everyone likes malice. I do like that mold and salt. I mean, it's almost a cheat. It's good. So I like this quite a bit. This is a lot. This is a lot of one of the few things, I guess I'm spoiling my review here, this is one of the few things I actually

enjoyed, except for shockingly, that toast, which I thought was just bad toast. You know, I picked this one because it was the wettest one to see how it would travel. And I can't even say it was because of the watermelon or the other ingredients. I think it's the toast. It was low-quality bread. It was tough. Yeah. Yeah. Not a great bite.

It was a bummer. Yeah, but I did like the stuff on top of it. The watermelon radish was nice. I like it. I like I like using watermelon radish and watermelon, which are different things. Like, that's fun. Two different things, but they got the same name. Watermelon radish.

I did a Men and Black version of that. I think on the podcast, and it did not, like, water and sugar, you know, you know how he does that in the movie? Water and sugar, you know, have you ever seen Menin Black? Yes, yes. I just need a repeat of what you did. I don't want to do it. I told you, I told you beforehand I warned you.

I said, I've tried this before it's bombed. podcast. I don't feel about a balsamic glaze as glazes go. Ooh, I like a balsamic glaze. I think I like a balsamic glaze. I think I do, too. Yeah. I think it's pretty good here.

So I was strong with it. You two seem like you're not sure. Well, because I feel like balsamic got a little bit overplayed, right? Didn't it become like one of those things where it's kind of like a Chipotle or whatever? It's like, I've seen this on everything. And like, you know, like hot honey. Like, you reach a saturation point where he was like, I've had enough fucking hot honey. So I was glazing the glaze here myself.

A little too much. Yeah, well, no, I think what's happened is that balsamic glaze has kind of receded to where it's not at critical mass anymore. Now there's like an appropriate amount of balsamic glazing going on. I like a nice balsamic. What can I say? I still do like a balsamic. I do too. I also like arugula. I know it became kind of old hat to like arugula.

But I think the arugula was well chosen here. I do think arugula is a little. I don't like a rugla base salad. I'd rather a romaine or like a, yeah, I'd rather I even just have a romaine lettuce than a gruola. But I like arugula. But like a, you know what I'm saying? Like the whole salad is arugula, then I'm like, it's a little choky. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, it's a, not a crisp. It's a. And if it's dry, you know what I'm saying? Like, you can get some dry, like it just tastes like you're eating grass or something. I think that's fair. And I think that's well argued. That was not what this was.

No. This was a little sprinkler. Yeah, a little something for you. Before we go too far, I do want to get your thoughts on the balsamic dressing from spits. Do you like it? You know, I think the last time I went to. Spitz was for the podcast. I like it.

I do, too. I do like it. I like it. But yes, but Spitz is not a regular spot for me. Are you hitting up Spitz? Unfortunately, yeah, I do love Spitz. I like Spitz. No, I enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it. I mean, I just like, if there was a Spitz near me, I would probably go with some frequency. Spitz has come a long way for me because I did not, the first time I was like, I don't really like this. And then over time, I was like, I do like Spitz. Yeah. It's tasty. It's a good lunch option.

It is. My take on Spitz is they should call it swallows Because this is what I'm doing when I'm there Little squirts You know that's the kids menu, little squirts God, this podcast is making me bad There's some corn poppification That happens for him in this service pod

Mitch let's talk your toast So you and Amelia got the same thing I saw how mad you got with Mary I said I'm not going to do I'm not going to order the same toast Wags is, imagine how many forks you broke if I got in the watermelon toast myself. I would have loved it. I think that's actually unprecedented in Do Boy's history where all three of us, where both of us and the guests have all gotten the same thing.

Unless it was a place where like we only do one thing, I feel like that never happens. I didn't want to do that to you. I thought you were mad. So I was like, I'm going to get a different toast. It will change some things up a little bit. You got the peach and prosciutto toast. I got the peach and prosciutto. And then her Italian ass, of course, followed suit.

She got the, she, I love prosciute. She said that as she was walking in the door. Meals, what did, I mean, look, we already said it. The brujo was sliced way too thick. Yeah. Wow. The peaches were way too hard. Yeah, they weren't, they were, they weren't ripe.

The components on this one, toasted rustico bread, herb ricotta cheese. You need a soft peach in the Saturday. Am I right? Yeah, you do. If it's on a toast, you need a soft peach. Don't rise up. Definitely don't.

Also, arugula, prosciutto. sliced peaches, barata, walnuts, hot honey. Mentioned hot honey. Balsamic glaze. Balsamic glaze as well. Hot honey and the glaze. And then also basil leaves and our buddy maldon salt is back. I won't be glazing this one.

I'd say pretty bad. The cheese was good. Yeah, the barata was great. But I mean, it was just a clump of barata. Would you like the toast? No. Did not like the toast. You both so clearly did not like it that when I was offered a bite at the end,

when the remains of yours was going to be thrown in the trash, I was like, I just don't think I want it. Because my last bite before coming into the studio is like, I don't want that lingering with me on this bad fucking toast that you both hated. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't say I hated it. I just think it was just pretty bad.

Yeah, it was like, it tasted like corporate slop. Wow. It did taste a little bit like corporate slop. I agree with her. Yeah. That's a bummer. I mean, maybe the, maybe the scaling problem has already begun. Maybe that's the issue.

Maybe that just by growing to, you know, 60-something locations, they're already at a point where, you know, we're seeing in shitification in real time. We hate to see that with a company that has, what, six toasts maximum? Doesn't have a lot of toast, no. Some seasonal toasts they rotate in, which is fun. I like that. Or maybe it always sucked.

Who knows? Maybe it was bad. I have no idea. I will say I had this in person a week or two ago. Oh, yeah, you're the reason we're doing this place. I actually did get mad at you in the, because we're doing a fucking, we're doing a healthy restaurant and we're eating it tastes like shit. Look, my alpha brother Nate was up in town. with his family, and, you know, we went to Toastique, and I'd never heard of this place,

but turns out that much like a fat burglar, it's sneaky big. None of us had ever heard of it, and they're like six locations just in L.A. It's somehow just, like, fully out there, but invisible. That's much like a fat burglar. Fat burglar goes straight to the fridge. Do you say that the lady was a cheerleader? Yes. She was a Division I cheerle.

A competitive cheer, which is like a whole fucking thing. Yeah. make my own. And so that's where it came from. Yeah. So you go. I, it did feel a bit like Goop Kitchen or something in my hair. It felt like it, like, even to the containers or whatever, it's like, these are kind of

like fancy containers. The font is like the same. Yeah. It's very similar. It's definitely trying to evoke Winniapaltrow's Goop. The thing is like, Goop Kitchen is annoyingly good. It is pretty good. It's like, I don't want to like this, but I like it, you know?

And at this place is kind of the. opposite. Like, I'm rooting for it. I'm rooting for Toastique. And then I'm kind of like, I just, I don't feel like you're, you're, you're pulling it off. Sam, you got the, Goop kitchen is, is good. Goop kitchen is good. Sam, you got the Peebee crunch toast. Honey roasted peanut butter, banana, strawberries, berry, house granola, peanuts, honey drizzle, mint leaf on walnut, raisin toast. This is maybe, this is maybe the root to go, but. It sounded pretty good. It was totally fine. Okay. Okay. The toast was hard, I mean, obviously really hard to cut through with the plastic knife. That was probably the most

annoying thing about it? The utensils were bad. I broke two forks. You're pissed. He also bent a metal fork, so. That's it. But this is the thing. You take a classic.

All those ingredients sound great, but I think the toast itself. That was the problem, for sure, just getting through it. Brutal. I also don't know about the raisin toast itself. Same. Yeah. Too much. I didn't really even read it that quick.

Like, I didn't even know what kind of toast I was going to get, but it's also just something similar to what I would make at home just more extravagant. if I was going to make toast, just like banana with peanut butter and like a little honey. Aren't you read the ingredient list of each of these, these toasts or listening to them

if you're, you know, out there's just so many components here. Yeah. It feels like Ungapachka. It feels like they're just like, we're going to take this maximalist approach of like having like 18 ingredients

on our fucking toast. And at a certain point, you stop being able to discern individual elements. Yeah. It just turns into this much. And that also might lead to the, you know, the unsatisfying texture of the bread because it's just weighed down by, like you were saying,

so much wet. Way too much. Yeah, it was. It was too much wet. I mean, even the prosciutto one, it was just, it was, it was, it was a big wet bomb. It was not great, yeah. You know what part of the issue was that?

What's that? That I, like, I, when I was there in person last weekend, I got to look into the kitchen. Oh my God. You know who was working in there? Who was that? Aquaman. I thought you'd use someone.

hadn't used before. We've done this bit. We cut you. You had something to say. We cut you off. Not at all. Worth it. It was very much. I just wanted to know if you even notice, because at the last bite, I noticed there was like a little

toss of the pickled red onion. Right. And I think we've talked about this before. We need a little relief sometimes with like a something, and that did not do it. No. But you liked it. I thought it was

I thought it was one of the better things I had. And that's damning with faint praise because... Mary, you got the Green Machine smoothie. Mitch, you and I both got the iced vanilla sea foam latte. You got the same one as me and I was pissed. And then I also got the bottled watermelon juice for the table. What are the components here? It was watermelon ginger live.

There it is. That fucking crushed. Mitch, you also got Simeena Crush. You also got the orange crush smoothie. That's right, Wags. And then R.E.M. Jam. That is.

Wow. Orange Crush. And then recharge over ice for Sam and an iced latte for A.M. Not everything I say is funny. That is just truth. It is an a lot of things I say aren't funny. But that is the Orange Crush.

A great R&M.T. They have a song called Orange Crush. Sadly, boring. Yeah. You tried it. It is, I was just like, how is this? It feels like it's like mango and peach, right? Well, I guess was in there.

Yeah, I have the ingredients right here. It's orange mango, a squeeze of lime, agave, and almond milk. So no peach. He had a peachy flavor, for sure. Yeah, it did have a peachy flavor. Well, you know, they do have a seasonal peach one right now, and I wonder if they mixed it up. They just use the slop from the old one and just toss that in. Totally possible.

Yeah. I mean, it was just boring. And also kind of watery, which makes sense. Because I actually, I was in there wise. I looked back in the kitchen. You know who's working the blender? Who? The shape of water guy.

I know that guy. I know you're talking about. Can that guy turn people into fish monsters? The girlfriend turns into a fish monster. Or is that like an act of love? Yeah, I don't know if it's how much of it that is his power. I feel like it's going to be a part of it. his power.

Because how else, you like loved it? How did she turn into it? That's a good question. I'm not sure how much the law has been detailed. Now does she like live in the water forever? I mean, wouldn't you want to with your sweetie?

I would be like, can't you spend some time on land too? Like, I feel like there's going to be some trade-off. They work it out, I'm sure. Typical dude. I'm serious. We'll come back on land an occasion.

What's that? You're defending him? Okay. I'm saying like I think they probably have an arrangement. And if it's true love, You follow your sweetie wherever. But she jumped into the water at the end. Whatever.

They're not doing on-land vacations. I agree. They're underwater-eaten eggs. They're never, never doing online. I like that they're underwater eating eggs, too. Whale eggs? Whale eggs? Like Brendan Fraser?

Mammals, they give a life bird. I know. I was trying to think of other eggs. Fish eggs. Fish eggs. There, there it is. Fish eggs. The ice vanilla seafone

latte, speaking of the ocean, espresso with choice of milk made with cold foam. The shape of water guy using it under the seap. I thought this I thought this was bad.

I mean, it's just like, I, you mentioned, you went off about salinity. I think this is, I think there was probably like a little bit of psychosomaticism going on with the seafone and me being like, okay, but it did feel like there had like a saline quality to it. Like it was just like,

and I also just think like, there's a lot of seafone in it too, by the way. I'm guessing the blue goo is the seafone. The blue goo. And it does have a pinch of malden salt in it. And so maybe they just use the heavy hand with that malden salt. You know what I mean? It doesn't malden salt on everything, which by the way, again, malden salt is good, but they put it in this too. Yeah. Then you know what? You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, your claims of salinity check out to me. Like, why is, why they tossing mal and salt in the vanilla latte? I don't know.

I mean, I was just, I'll say, like, I love vanilla. Vanilla, vanilla is a flavor. Very minimal vanilla here. It just, just, it just kind of tasted like a weird salty coffee. This to me, like, I was just like, if someone, we went to some coffee place with a friend, like, it was like, oh, this is a fancy coffee shop. And I got this vanilla latte from there. I'd be like, yep, this is like kind of a shitty vanilla latte that I would get anywhere. But it didn't, it didn't necessarily bother me.

I just didn't think there was anything about it. that was good. And I didn't taste the salinity as much as you did. You tried it, Mary. I liked it. I thought it was good. A million and I thought it was all right. Yeah, I liked it too. I drank the whole thing. You had your are you talking about your ice latte or separately the seafone one? The seafone one. You liked that one.

I did have a sip of it. I thought it was nice. You liked your ice latte more. Yes. I don't like sweet drinks. So the latte, it was a decent ice latte. Yeah. I feel like they can probably just do a decent espresso drink there. Just, you know, keep it simple. Yeah. Less malden. Yeah. Less malden for sure.

Yeah, yes. It basically has a slug issue. If they're putting salt on everything, you know what I'm saying? It could be a slug problem in the kitchen. There might be a slug problem back there. That's probably something. Could be what's going on. Let's just put salt on everything.

It will keep the slugs away. Yeah, right. This is just a precaution more than anything. Yeah. And then their pallets adjust because they're used to like having salt on everything. Right. So it just has its own momentum. Oh, shit.

Slugs that are immune to salt? This is a nightmare scenario. Right. How are we going to battle them? There's the only thing saltier than salt is a pepper. They got to use pepper on slugs. Great. Now we've got to use pepper on slugs.

Now we get pepper pepper on her fucking water melletose. What are we doing? What's going on here? What's going on in the world today? Fucking pepper latte? Jesus Christ. Cyclospor in our lettuce. Now we've got to use pepper on slugs.

What's happening? This administration. The watermelon juice was, tasted like it had gone bad. I thought that was huge. It smelled bad. It was like a little fruit fart when you opened up the bottle. Yeah, it was really disgusting.

Yeah. Was there celery in it? No, it was literally just watermelon ginger, lime. And it tasted like it went bad. It tastes like bad fruit. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it was just a low-quality watermelon they used in it or something.

I have no idea, but it was just... Yeah, was it like a big brown watermelon that had been, like, sitting around? That's what it seems like. Might have been a spoiled watermelon. Maybe it has something to do with slugs. Slugs got into the melon. Get the pepper mill. That's the risk you're running when you're going to toastique.

Everything may have added salt or pepper. depending how many slugs are there they're expanding too quickly there's already the slugs are toastique I think both in both scenarios oh I'm having fun this episode I'm having fun with such a blast

always having fun with our friend Mary is there any is there anything else we missed what did you think that recharge Sam I thought it was great but it's something that you would be really hard to fuck

up. It's just beet juice and ginger and orange, I think. It was great. Not too spicy. That was great. Yeah, I really liked it, actually. So that feels like the strongest endorsement of anything so far. What about that green smoothie we all like? Oh, right, of course. How could I forget the green smoothie? The green machine smoothie. This was the hit for me. This was banana mango, pineapple, spinach, kale, hemp seed, flaxseed, coconut water, and a squeeze of lime. Mary, you ordered this one and great call, because this one was genuinely yummy. It was good. It would balance. You could taste. You could taste. like a nutty flavor. I also like when something's green,

but doesn't taste green. Yeah, yeah. That was the best of all the drinks that I had. And I usually don't love a green smoothie, and I thought it was tasty. But this one didn't taste green. It didn't taste green, not at all. And I'll say I had your assay bowl,

and what I liked, you know, I was like, this is pretty much how I thought it would, until I got a little piece of those cocoa nibs. Yeah. That was a nice touch. The nips were nice texture, and I'm not the biggest nib guy, But it was nice to have those nbs in there.

This one was assayi, strawberry, blueberry, banana, cold-pressed apple juice with banana, strawberry, blueberry, house granola, cacao nibs, and honey. So they've got the blended base has blueberries and banana. I think I love nbs. Why not? What's wrong with nbs? They're good. I like nibs. I just say, like, I'm not like a, like, I'm just, ooh, this thing's got nibs.

I'm excited. You know what I mean? It's more they're just like, oh, nibs are in here. It's like, hey, these nibs are working for me. You know what I mean? No nibs. for Nick. No nibs.

No nibs. No, I'm not saying no, no, no, I'm open-minded regarding nibs. I'm just, like, not seeking them out. All right. All right, fair. Not stuck in nibs in my pantry. You know what I mean? I'm not like, hey, there's a nibs.

This all sounds too weird because it's close to nips, I think, is the issue here. Oh. Oh, got it. I was wondering why it felt uncanny Valley to me, and I realize what it was about halfway through. But what's wrong with little people? pieces of chocolate in there. I don't have a problem with it, like I said.

All right, all right. We're not going to fight. We've gotten along well. We're having fun. We're having fun. I think. I had a P.B. and B bowl, too, by the way.

Yeah, how was your bowl? I mean, I'll say this. We've had a lot of assaye bowls now on the pot, and I'd say this was right in the middle. It wasn't right in the middle. It was right in the middle. It wasn't, it wasn't awful and it wasn't like great. We've had that, the assayee bowl from pressed juicer. I thought was great.

That's a good. It's a really good assaye bowl. I mean, obviously nothing to touch as ply a bowl. Ply bowls is great, too. But unfortunately, not in the West Coast. Those, those, those, those, those, those two are up there for me. This one is very middle of road, not bad. A ton of, I think, like, to me, what is, like, an issue with some of these places, like,

just a ton of assaye, blended assay and then, like, the toppings are just, like, disappearing into it over the course of, yeah. Not enough toppings. Yeah. Those nibs are gone. Those nibs are, like, and, and I just, just needed more toppings. It was the ratio was off. It was mostly asaiy blend.

You said there was a paucity of toppings. There was a paucity of toppings. I wrote it down so I could start using it. Yeah, I have fun vocabulary word. Right next to cock sucker. Well, I know cock sucker. It's the way he uses it. Mary, have you encountered pliables on your travels?

No. Oh, treat yourself. I'm a bowl fan. Plyables is great. Yeah. I'm waiting for it to come to L.A. What makes them so good? It just, you know what?

just really well done. It's just a really simple. Excellent execution, really high quality of product. I just like. No slug issues in the kitchen. No added salt. They're not throwing salt on everything.

It is, they are really well done. I'm waiting for it. And there's something, you know what? Maybe that's, maybe this is part of why their level of quality is so high.

Their quality control is, is besting to steaks is because they are an East Coast chain that is not expanded westward. They have not made the attempt to be like, hey, we're going to scale up and put ourselves in the West Coast. And maybe hopefully when they eventually do so, if they eventually do so, it'll be the pliable I remember from Newark. Meal sent a picture from the Newark itself. Yeah.

Last night I was at the Newark Airport. Every time I passed by that pliable, I sent a picture to our pliable Choir group chat. And you said God's country. I said, take me to God. I'm in God's country. I'm in God's country. And then Gaborz asked Tel Aviv question mark. I'm sorry, I do want to ask you, what did you think of the homemade granola?

I like the granola. I just wanted more of it. Yeah. Yeah, I think there was just not enough of any of those toppings. I think they were just, they were skimping on a little bit. And the pliables, what's the texture of the base? It's got a good goopiness to it. It's got a good goopiness to it.

It's not too liquidy. It's not too liquidy. Also, like, the toppings are spread. The bowls are just wider. Oh, you can get one that's a little. deeper, but the, but the, the, the toppings to goop ratio is, is, it's on point. And and they're well distributed it. Yeah. It's like, it's like, oh, this is a, this is a, this is a well-curated, well-arranged bowl. Dang, that sounds great. Pliable is great. Yeah.

Why? This is no pliable. This is no pliable, but where does it rank on our fork score? We're each going to go around, give our closing arguments, if you will, and give this a score from zero to five forks. Mary, your veteran of the podcast. We'll begin with you. Your thoughts, your fork score on Toastique. I don't want to come in too hot. But for a chain that's called Toastique, we've got to make sure the toast is spot on. And when that's the worst part of it, I got to give you two forks. Wow.

That is. I know it's extreme. That's very fair. No, I think it's earned. And well argued. I also don't like the name Toastique now that you, I think you, I think you, I think, someone, Mary or Amelia were saying,

someone made a joke about it, about the name Toastique in the kitchen. I just said that it tastes, I hope it tastes toasty. Oh, okay, all right. So I guess it's not a, I guess I don't know if I classified as a joke. I guess I wouldn't,

I don't know if I'd classified as a sentence. I, um, look, I think this is, I'm happy for, uh, this woman who made a business and she's done a great job.

but I don't have a cheer for this one. I have a jeer-wags. Oh, boy. Wow. Give me a 2.5 forks. Wow, two forks, two tines. Yeah, that's what it gets. I, it just is,

maybe we've had a bad one, maybe the originals, maybe it's the scale-up issue. But, and also, here's the thing, like, we were looking forward to eating healthy. Like, we wanted to have some healthy stuff. I'm going to a big dinner tonight with my mom at Dunsmore. I like, this is great.

We've been on a run of, like, fried chicken. fried chicken, del taco. We've been indulging a lot of magpies. We had a lot of really heavy, rich foods.

And so we wanted something a little bit like. So some of you may be saying, are you even qualified to review something like this? And the answer is, yes, we are qualified reviewers.

And I wanted to be so much better than it was. And it was just overall pretty disappointing. I think maybe it was a bad day, too. I don't know if the peaches were soft. There's like a lot of different things.

But when it comes down to it, that toast, the toast is bad. And I don't know if that's different in-house or what the deal is. It's great that this woman has made a successful business for herself. But this is, it makes me feel bad to give it a low score. But that's what it is. I'll say this. I don't know anything about this woman beyond that she was a cheerleader who started this business. So I, you know, whatever.

Could also be. Do you think my score was fun that I said, give me a two and a half. I thought that was pretty unique. Yeah, I thought that was fun. It was toastique. I thought that was fun. All right. So who knows?

You know, business owners could always be bad people with bad ones. Sure. It's usually maybe a safe assumption. But I'm going to give them the benefit of it out. She could, I, she may be like staffed by Trump. We have no idea. We have no idea.

But, or could be a mom-donnie progressive. I don't know. We don't know. We don't know. We're a value- We're not-fuck this lady. I'm just going to go in. We don't know.

Fuck her. She's bad. She's bad. We'll just, we'll say, it's safe to just say she's bad. Yeah, it's safe to say she's bad. It's a safe guess. If anything else, she's a multi-millionaire.

She's, I'm sure, I don't feel sorry for her, I guess. But she's, she did, she, she's made something that people really liked, not us today. Toastique, what is that, a portmanteau of toast and boutique? Is that what they're going for? Fantastique. Oh, yeah, unique. I don't know what. It's a little, it's a little clunky.

It's a little clunky. And I think that may be. is symbolic of the concept at large, which is that everything here is just like a little off, a little, a little janky, you know? I don't know if it's the slugs in the kitchen.

Or the shape of water guy was back there too. And also you saw a different guy who was back there too, Aquaman. Also an octopus. Oh, and an octopus. An octopus. The one from the Tonight Tonight video?

Yeah, that one. All right, good. Smashing Pumpkins, a Jason octopus. You know, we have a segment on this podcast called Snacker Wack that we may be revisiting in a few minutes. We're going to find out. But here's the thing. I was eating this tosteak. First fork, whack!

It snapped. He was pissed. Second fork. Wack! It snapped. Now, that doesn't color my fork, but it does symbolize my experience, which was a frustrating one.

One where it was like, I just want everything to be better. I just want everything to just work a little bit more as it should. Instead, I think my fork score is going to land in the same place that the forks I broke did.

which is two forks. Toastique is the one that's clunky? I thought it was going to land that plane so much better. In my head, that went so much better. Wow, your, give me a 2.5 is looking nice. Wow. You started so elegantly. I was like, wow, let's go with him here.

I thought you did great. Thank you. He's going to spiral out. No, we're doing good. Right, we're having fun. Two forks. I think it's about what it deserves. But here's the condition I will say.

When I went in person, of course it's going to be a better experience. It was a better experience now. All I got there was a peach smoothie, but the peach smoothie was good. And my brother and his family who were eating there in person were like, hey, this is pretty good. I think they were pretty satisfied with it. So this may be a matter of just this suffered quite a bit from travel. So, you know, just a thing to be aware of. We try to go in-person restaurants.

We're not able to for this one. There you go. That definitely colors a score. But as it travel, as a go item, yeah. I think this is, I think two, two and a half forks is exactly where it belongs.

Wow. I don't think I've ever heard you score something as low as Mitch and I do. Yeah. I feel like you're usually a little higher. Do I usually skew higher? I'd be,

we should run a, like a... I love that. To see where you and I, who is the more positive doughboy. Yeah, let's do like a scatter plot of all of our forks scores. I'd love for someone to put that out.

I think I have probably gone higher. than you overall because I will also kiss up to the crowds at live shows. And like, this is a five-four girl. But you could, in the scatter plot, you could control for live shows. You could say, like, we're going to have, here's one with live shows excluded.

I like that. Yeah. That would be fun. But Luke Corrigan kind of looks like an octopus. I was just thinking about this. You know, I mean, like, with a shaved hair. But then I was also thinking that, like, octopus in the sea, the creature that looks the most

like a human is an octopus. This is true. Don't you think they have the most, they have like a head. That's what I'm saying. Well, cephalopods are, you know, extremely intelligent creatures. Yeah. It's one reason I opt not to eat them. So like, no, no, no, I'm not getting my high horse.

I'm just saying for me, I don't care. I'm not judging other people who whatever the fuck they do. We don't know anything. Broccoli could be screaming. We don't fucking know. We don't know anything about consciousness. Broccoli, yes, broccoli could be screaming. Broccoli could be an intense pain when you sever it from where,

broccoli grows from. And so, what is that a bush? What is it a tree? What's a broccoli? Cuciferous. Cuciferous. That must grow from the ground, but I'm just, I don't know what, I can't picture a full broccoli plant.

A bush? Is it a bush? Is it a broccoli bush? Great question. Whatever the fuck it is. It's, um, flower? Brassica. All right.

Thanks, Amelia. You're all right. The point is, however you harvest broccoli. Well, let's say wheat. Broccoli could be screaming. Let's say wheat. Wheat could be screaming. You're throwing that thresher through.

It can be an intents made. We just don't know. We have a better sense of, you know. An animal. We have a better sense of an animal because we're closer to it. But yes, for that reason, I'm able to humanize something like an octopus or a squid. And I was just trying to humanize an octopus because they look the most like a human. And Mitch, that's all I'm saying.

I'm saying I agree with you. Thank you. I think that's a good point. I think they are. But Manatee has the title of Manatee is, right? And that's an even better point. But I'm saying Manatee. They're called manatees because they look like man because they look like man.

Yeah. Is that true? I don't know. So the octopus have had the manatee title. That's what I'm trying to get to. Well, I think we have to do the eight octo. The octo is really important. Right.

You got a four for it. That's a great point. But you can say octo man instead of octopo. Octo man is pretty good. Octo man's pretty good. Yeah, what's the puss about? Yeah, what's that puss about? Yeah, what is that puss about?

Also, I'm going to say, Octo man, much cooler name. Holy shit. It's an octo man when you're on a boat. That's fucking cool as hell. Yeah, that's cool. Which means foot in Greek. Oh, those fucking Greeks. That's pretty good.

Eight feet. Eight feet. That's pretty good. It's pretty on the nose. Octopus is pretty good. All right. Does an octopus know how to use an iPad like a pig does? That's a good question.

I know they can, like, solve puzzles and shit. Well, shit. I don't know. I don't know if an octopus can use an iPad. I was using an iPad earlier. Is that what you're talking about? All right, it's time for a segment. I was going to ask another question.

When you hear like tonight, tonight, it's about Chicago, is that kind of like, it's cool. It's like my, like, is there that little fact or two? I think so. I also remember a gal said that she was hit on by Billy Corrigan, and I was like, someone I know. And it was like, yeah, everyone's a freak. Everyone's trying to get late. It's like that's not. He's especially a freak, I feel like, though.

We love that, uh, we love that little freak. Again, this is so unpopular, but I have to go to the bathroom again. That's so sorry. This is the perfect timing. Thank you. Thank you. And also it got hot in here. It did get hot here.

It's time for a bathroom breakdown. Hey, buddy, we're back. It's time for a segment. We've got a food stuff. We're going to decide you should put in your mouth. It's snack or whack. And Mary, you brought the snack. Yeah, I did.

What are we working with today? We're working with an assortment of Swedish candies that are lesser known Swedish candies. Okay. But I wanted to ask you, I know gummy's not yummy, but what are you? about foamy does it go straight to the domi? Wow. Love this. We're going to find out if foamy goes straight to the domi. Yeah. If foamy's my homie. Better. They're both good. So what are these candy? Yeah, it's a real assortment. Yeah, yeah, try that. I take this one. Okay, start here. To start there. Yeah. So those are like Swedish like marshmallow-y type of candies.

All right, foamy, show me. It's just quite foamy. careful of the crown. Can I take one of the flower one? Yeah, can I take them all? Yeah. I don't have a flower one. That looks fun. Now, there is a gummy on the inside of that.

I'm going to the left side of my mouth. Okay, good. Sam, you said... This is cool looking. It's a yellow guy, yellow petals, and a yellow, yellow center. There are a green one. Sam, you said during the break that the Dough Boys Library would be whole menus, which I thought was pretty good. I was pretty good.

I'm glad we sitting there on the bottom. Mm-hmm. These are damn good. How did you discover these? I think I saw them on like a TikTok talk, like Mukbonger was eating them, and I really like to watch people eat candy. The flower ones are fantastic. You like that, okay.

I love a flower one. You didn't like the foamy. No, I'm a gummy appreciator. I want to try everyone. I'm going to try one of the pinwheels. That one is called a strawberry dream. hopefully a good dream. Oh, boy.

No night screaming over here. I know, right? Wait, how many are there? Because I got the, I got the... I'm trying one of each. I got the brick guy. I got the brick and I got the flower. It looks like there's a, there's a disc.

Yeah, you got to do the pinwheel. And then also there's like the bonbons, which are just the little circle, baby. Oh, the little circle and the pinwheel. Yeah, yeah. Oh, careful on my crown. Yeah. I'm going left.

This one's got a little sugar around it, the flat guy. Yeah. On the flat earth. Curious. And so. Okay, so I think that's all of them. I got the full port. Okay, great.

And then we got to get our friends to have this, too. Oh, yeah, we should send this over to the dais. Meals is going to walk over here and pick this up. While we're all feasting on these. I got my judgment. Yeah. Do you want to say it now or do you want to save it? Snacks all around.

Snacks all around. I love them. How would you rank them? Flower power number one. Flower power number one. Flower power is number one. Those bonbons have a really nice. nice taste of them.

Nice texture, too, I think. 100%. So maybe those's number two. I'm loving the taste of those as they come out. Okay. But all really, really great. Yeah. I would say the strawberry delight with it.

Oh, the strawberry dream. The strawberry dream, third, and then the brick fourth, but I like the brick too. Got it. And the brick is last because of the texture? That to me was like the most foamy without as much, like, kind of like the least. strong. I like sweet. And that to me felt kind of like the softest on the sweetness. Sure.

But all fantastic. These are great. I'm chewing the orb. How are we doing back there? What are we working on? Is that it? I like the flower one a lot. Flower one is great. Hey, flower one seems to be the hit. Flower one's good. I have the flat earth in my mouth.

This guy is a lot of chewing. Yeah. It is. This is really. This is really. Really, really. Toss me one more, please. Oh, no, you don't have to get up. This is a lot of work. I'm good. I just want to one more.

But the flavor is, this might be my favorite flavor, though. Interesting. You kind of like the vanilla mix. Yeah, I love the vanilla mix, and I also like the texture of the sugar on the outside. Yeah. Same. You like the strawberry dream. Mm-hmm.

I'll take it two more. Is that okay? What's your favorite of these, Mary? It might be a little controversial, but I like the brick. You like the brick the most. I like the brick. What is about the favorite? the brick that appeals to you.

I like that it's unlike an American marshmallow where you just got a bite right through it. This one's got a little. It's almost as if the marshmallow and the Laffy Taffy had a baby. It's a little, it got a little heft to it. Mm-hmm. And I kind of like a milder candy that's not as sweet. Okay. I'm going to say something here.

I'm on the record to say, It's a brick and I'm chewing slow. It's really good. I'm glad you had rejected that. We all enjoyed it. Hey. I liked it. Mitch,

I liked it. I thought it was good. It's made me happy to hear. Go on with your bullshit. No, I'm glad you did it. But yeah, so we'll go on with the bullshit. I'm on the record as saying gummy ain't yummy. Right.

But I'm also wrong a lot. I'm wrong a lot. Mitch, guilty is charged. And I try to change when I'm wrong. And I try to evolve over time. and as we just talked about last week on the podcast, you know, just in the course of the decade we've been doing dough boys, a decade of dough,

we've seen, I've changed a lot as a person. I've evolved a lot as a human being. I feel like this is all a journey. I'm in perpetual motion, you know. Just like the red dragon evolved into a higher plane. Just like the red dragon evolved into a higher plane. You know, there was a time in my life

when I perhaps dressed a little bit more conservative, when I perhaps was a little bit more uptight, a little bit more buttoned up. Your MAGA hats. My MAGA hats. There was a time in my life where I wouldn't do something as impulsive as walk by a tattoo shop and see a design in the window and then walk right in and decide to get it on my chest on Saturday night. Whoa! Oh my God! And also, there was a time in my life I'd said, gummy ain't yummy, perhaps those days are behind me.

because these gummies were really good. Wow. And Mary, I have to say. Was that a Scientology symbol? Yeah, there's a Christian podcast, so we got a little, just as we have the modesty pillow between me and Mary, I have some prayer hands here. Look at your mic, yeah.

Wow. There we go. Wow. A little bit of tit, huh? Wow. It's fun for everyone. Yeah. You got a tattoo of a guy washing his hands.

Shout out to Johnny who did that ink for me. It looks great. Very talented artist, very nice guy. I'm officially worried about you, but it's great. Because Sam, you're an inked-up man. I was not aware of the phenomenon of flash tattoo before I started getting tattoos myself. But those are things like these are prefab designs where you could just go in for a set price. And they're saying, yeah, we already have this one.

This isn't something we make from scratch. We could just put this on you. And it's usually cheaper and pretty fast. It's cheaper and it was nice and efficient. I was in the duration of a Simpsons episode. Do you have any flash on your body? Yeah. My friend just gave me one of his, but it's his artwork, but it's flash of his.

Oh, that's funny. Yeah. You get me your friend's Insta. Yeah, he's great. But yeah, again, shout out to Johnny. It's funny because this is the other thing I didn't know about tattooing. It's kind of a clinical process as, like, kind of edgy as it is. They're still like, you've got to go in there and sign a waiver and everything.

I'm in there. You know, you got fill it out. like whatever last time I've eaten, any allergies, all that sort of shit. And then we're going over it. And he's like, he's like, okay. And just to confirm some of these, you know, date of birth and, you know, no skin conditions. And what is your name? And I'm like, like, like, Nick, you know, some people call me Tiger.

Some people call me spillmonger. He's like, no, actually, what I need is your full legal name. And I look him straight in the eye and I say, my full legal name is Nicholas Frank Weiger. but sometimes I go by Frank. Which means it's time for another edition of this week in Hot Dog News with Let Me Be Frank. Hit it, Sam. Hot dog, simmer in the city. Great of my grill getting greasy and pretty.

Toast bun, don't it look pretty? Sucking on a dog like a sucking on a titty. Pork and beef, sausages and long bread rolling on a rolling grill, mustard and relish. One bite, it's a different. world. Swawk dog bites with a girl. Munch on, munch on and chop all night. Despite the farts, it'll be all right. That taste, when the casing has snapped later that day, you'll for sure have to nap as it simmers in the city like you're sucking on a titty. You ain't nothing but a hot dog frying all the time. You ain't nothing but a hot dog frying all the time. You ain't nothing but a hot dog

frying all the time You ain't never been a burger And you ain't no lunch of mine Well they said you were sandwich Well that was just a lie They said you were sandwich Well that was just a lie You're just a bun around a wiener

So you sure don't qualify That's all you wanted Lunchtime special lunch that's tasty in your life just for one domen have a hot dog and some coleslaw has a side sometimes I think that my dogs taste

like baloney but something tells me for dinner we'll eat coneses cones I will be your Frankenfurter Sausage made from beef and swine I will be your wiener eater anytime you want to dine

I will be your frankinferter ketchup mustard pickle brine I will be your phone and footlong Tell it's dessert time I gotta get my phone out Sorry for this part I don't have my document I'd hold and I get to unlock my phone

Let it all this out Also, we should use, we should use music here, too. Yeah, we may put a little, little, little music here. We'll put a better music here. We'll put a better music here. From the sixth sense. Frames will never know. Put on six cents, music. Is it going to get DCMA?

Shut up. I want to tell you my secret now. Okay. I see fed people. At restaurants? At barbecues? Fed people, like, they ate. Burgers.

Walking around. unlike regular people. They don't see burgers. They only see what they want to see. Hot dogs. They don't know that they're fed. How often do you see them? That was

the sixth Frank. Thank you for the prof. Excellent. Very good. Okay, so this is, let me be Frank. So here's what we're going to do. We just hit the two hour mark. We'll just look up a couple of headlines here.

I forgot you were doing it. When you were saying they call me spillmonger, I was about to make fun of you. I forgot I was going to say, and then I forgot you were doing, let me be free. Oops. It all worked out. Okay, so. Hot Dog News, Los Angeles. How about that Hot Dog Los Angeles?

Great. Mitch, you're going to look for Hot Dog News on. Also, by the way, snacks all around for these bad boys. Yeah, I would rank them. I would rank them Flat Earth first, Flowers. second, I think I go brick third and then orb fourth. What is flat?

Oh, flat earth. Yeah, yeah. You didn't love that one. You don't like that? I like, I did like it. I honestly loved all of them. Mitch is using Google News. I'm using my preferred search engine Microsoft being.

What's the last hot dog you had, Mary? Oh, boy. Do you know what the fuck we just did there? We maybe, yeah, you've done, no, you've done it before. Okay. You've been the podcast before. But that was, that really took me somewhere. I've been taken before.

Also, thank you for the line to use. I think your sweatshirt as a prop in the blanket. I apologize. I felt a little exposed because the whole point of this was, boy, I wish we had a table. Yeah, I wish we had a table. I feel like we could be a table show. It always might be a table show.

We'll see what happens. This was from MSN.com. State fair inspired spam hot dogs will head to MSP airport before the fair. You ever flight through MSP? Not often. You wouldn't connect there, right? Because it's right by Chicago. What would you bother?

Right. Sam, you ever connect an MSP? Not really, no. Amelia, you down with MSP? Yeah, you know me. You know me. What about it all? I think Sam said, yeah, you know me before you started.

You know me. Do you know that song well or no? Yeah. Oh, you do? All right. It's like a 50-year-old song at this point. I know things that are old. It's from, what, it's 1990.

All right, it's 36 years old. It's old. OTG, the airport hospitality group, is bringing. me three iterations of Hormel's new spam dog to the airport before it makes its debut on the fairgrounds as an unofficial new food. However, the phrase spam dog probably requires a little explanation. However, it's, however, in there twice. So is it a swim by AI? However, it's exactly what it sounds like. It's spam in the shape of a hot dog, a fresh creation that Hormel launched earlier this year. That looks pretty good. That's tough to see. Yeah, I guess so. I guess

it's covered with so many toppings. You can't really tell. You think that's a brown mustard atop of that? It looks like a brown. Okay, there we go. There's a battered spam dog. Wow, that does look good. I'd eat that. That looks good. Yeah, I'd have this bad boy. Mitch, what do you got over there? I got Wags.

This is, you're not going to like this. But this is apropos for the conversation we had earlier. Iconic L.A. hot dog stand is headed to Tokyo. Pinks. Hot dogs are going on Tokyo. Whoa. Interesting. Yeah, I mean, I bet the Tokyo.

We don't like Pinks. We're not fans of Pinks. Yeah, it's dogs. But Carney's. way better, which we recently did with our friend Jamie Loftus. Way, way, way better, L.A. It has the reputation, Pink's has the reputation that Carney should have.

But I found one here, Mitch. Trump Nutrition Advisor cites hot dogs as healthy, quote, fresh from the ground food. National Nutrition Advisor Ben Carson. Oh, I remember Ben Carson? Former presidential candidate. Yes. Brain surgeon. Went viral on a Monday after making a suggestion about hot dogs that likely won't cut the mustard with many nutritionists. That's fun.

Won't cut the mustard. Is it? I remember not too many months ago, Secretary Rollins and I went to school and we were giving the children whole milk. They were just so amazed. They said, I didn't know milk could taste this good. They, where the fuck is the hot dog quote? What a difference it can make when they can taste these things?

They won't have a, where's the fucking quote? Is it another AI article? It might be. I mean, it's the same. Hold on. Yeah, yeah, it's an embedded tweet, so I can't read the fucking thing because I'm going to have X on my phone.

So many of the stories I'm reading is about... Anyway, Ben Carson said hot dogs come from the ground, I guess. Ben Carson said hot dogs come from the ground? That's what it seems like it's trying to say. I finally went to the portillo's in... What is it? Buena Park or something. Yeah, what did you think?

It's just as good as the Chicago. Just as good. Wow. I didn't notice a difference, but I'd have to see back to back. Wow. You know what? I went there too recently. Did you get a dog?

No, no. I got a combo because that's my favorite. It's like the beef with Italian sausage in there. Whoa. That sounds fucking good. I didn't even know that was possible. Did you get the onion rings? I got crinkle fries.

Okay. Did you get the cheese? But we got a cake shake. No cheese sauce? I just went classic condiments. Fair. You went in dry? I went in, well, yes, with ketchup and mustard, though.

Okay, okay, okay. But it was fantastic. I was so happy. I felt like I was at home. That was great. Did you try the lemon cake? No. I think that's superior to any other cakes.

Whoa. Okay, cool. It's good. I got to try that. Give us your regular Portillo's order. We've been over this before. I like a dip. I like that beef, but I really love the chopped salad.

Oh, wow. Yes. It's really good. Yeah. Really good. Stephen, was it Stephen Spielberg who was at Hot Dog on a Stick? I was trying to find that article. I was trying to find out.

No, it was James Cameron. Oh, it's Cameron. It's Cameron. And then people are like, wait a minute, he's a vegan. They got a veggie dog. They got a veggie dog. They got a vegan dog, and their batter is vegan. So many of the articles by searching Hot Dog, Los Angeles is about pinks going to Tokyo.

Here's one I got. This is from the Philadelphia Inquirer. The sandwich of the summer is the hot dog. It always is. Why is this in the newspaper? What is that hell is going on? I have that Ben Carson quote if you want it. Go for it.

They get an opportunity to eat a tomato fresh off the vine. It's a different food than you'd get in the store, quite frankly. Fresh, sweet corn and hot dogs. Seems like I just had to get this. Big terms of Kermen out. Give this school the benefit of the doubt. But it seems like he's maybe just speaking extemporaneously. And like I don't think he's actually saying hot dogs come from the ground.

Yeah, that's a clickbaity title. Yeah. More Ben Carson support on this podcast. Look, it's a Christian podcast. All right, this list, I'm not sure about this list. It's this 50 iconic hot dogs in the U.S. worth the road trip. And I just going to say right off the bat. The California one is pinks.

Oh, why do they do this? I know. But here we go. Illinois. Let's see if you agree with this Illinois one. Illinois is... Gene and Jude's Red Hawk stand. Oh shit.

I fucking love Jeans and Judes. Jeans and Judes is good. All right. George by Sam. Fucking. Oh my God, yes. Massachusetts is Sullivan's in Castle Island, South Boston, where wise, I've told you before, I worked for the city of Boston as a garbage man, and we were collect, and we, well,

we would get the garbage along the L Street Beach in South Boston. And then at the end was Sully's, and they would give us food for taking their garbage, which I think was maybe against the, law, but we did it anyway. That's great. Liquid pro quo. It's what greases the wheels. It's how the world works.

Isn't that it kind of a nice bit of, you know, like full circle. Like you used to collect garbage and now you make garbage. He's back. He's back. Just like a restaurant, I feel your feedback. Let's up to the feedback. Today's email is from Heather from Sarnia, Ontario. Heather writes, this summer I played an annual volleyball tournament that has a different

theme every year. This year's theme was fast food. restaurants and my team Taco Bell won. Hey, how about that? Congrats to Team Taco Bell in Ontario. This tournament is more of a fun drinking vibe with catered lunch and dinner, and I celebrated our win by getting a bean cheesy gordita crunch afterwards. For regular tournament, I typically like to have a light breakfast and pack a big snackle box. I like that term snackle box to share with my team, which is always a big hit. My question is, what would your ideal meals and snacks be for a full day of activity? How would you celebrate your win after? Okay, so I think of the scenario, like

we're doing some sort of sporting event. I mean, more of Mary's candy, by the way. It's not good during the question. It's good as hell. It's good candy. These, these. You like the bonbon. The bonbon is how I think of,

I think bonbon is my favorite. Yeah, I like them, too. They're really damn good. Sweet. So I'm picturing. I love artificial strawberry, by the way. Me too. So good.

My favorite. This is feeling like we're like, okay, so tournament is a fun drinking vibe with caterer lunch. So, like, it's, and this is set on a, this seems, beachy, even though there's, there's not like a beach in, in Ontario, to my knowledge. I guess there might be something by the shore or whatever, but it's not like, it's not, it's not a beach, it's not ocean adjacent.

Okay. But that's what, that's where I mind goes. Some sort of aquatic adventure, what would be your full day of meals? Ideal meals and snacks. Boy, this is a big, that's a big question. This is a big ask. I gotta say this. Just because this is, this is, this just goes back to my days on Cape Cod,

Yeah. Wags. But having a peanut butter and jelly by the beach. Sure. I mean, just in the beach, I guess it's not. Yeah. No, that's fun. No, that's fun.

All right. I think that absolutely qualifies. What I was going to say is, like, if I'm doing something like this, I want to start, like, light breakfast, Heather Sites, that's what I want to do as well, because like, like, I've got activities. I can't be going hard. I can't be having like. So what are you, but yeah, what are you having for, like a yogurt?

I'm probably having some yogurt. I'm probably having some girt, you know, girt and some berries, something like that. or maybe an asai bowl if I'm going out, maybe a bowl of oatmeal. This to me now is like, even yogurt itself is like, okay, yogurt I get, it's in the cooler you're having it. But asaibol feels just like a little bit clunkier to take on one of these adventures. But isn't this what he's having before the? Yeah, I'm having this at home.

I'm not like rushing there and like eating while I, when I get. I'm having time to get up and go through my normal routine. Okay, I thought everything is there. I thought that's more fun. Everything has to be there. If everything is there, that changes it a little bit. Then if everything's there, then I think I'm probably having. A piece of fruit.

A piece of fruit, yeah. But I might want a little bit of protein. Right. So maybe I'm getting a little individual yogurt cup in a piece of fruit. How about that? How about that PB&J? You could eat that PB&J. You know I have a developed peanut allergy.

Right. Right. Right. We got to fix that. Yeah, let's fix that. We can get a doctor in here. We can get you. We'll get Dr. Ben Carson in here.

You're curious. George. All right, so earlier in the day, if you're not traveling or doing an asai bowl, I would say I still want to do something light. I'm just going to say, well, we'll do your version, Mitch, because I agree, that is fun. We're doing everything on site. Okay. I'm going to bring an individual yogurt cup and like a banana or some like an apple, like some sort of piece of fruit.

I'm also stashing whatever the other piece of fruit is on deck for later in the day, so I'm not just having only heavy food. And for a snack, you're going to have a jelly and what's saying? sandwich. Could do almond butter. Almond butter. That sounds pretty damn good. You know what I like is that fucking sunflower seed butter.

I think that's really good. Yeah, yeah. It gets a job to them. Anyway. I felt slightly judging of you. Oh, you like that? Well, and then they're like, yeah, yeah. Like a smear on seven pieces of toast.

What the fuck is this shit? Oh, my God. I'm feeling we're having fun. It's a reasonable number. piece of a dozen. I have such a memory of being a kid

and going to the Bulsacica Beach or a Long Beach a jack in the box and like that's a big thing so I'm thinking I'm just gonna have a fucking jack in the box for lunch.

I'm getting some tacos and some curly fries. You're driving away from wherever you're gonna go. You're hitting jacking. No, I'm walking there, Mitch. It's on the beach.

I'm walking to it. So I'm gonna have a little bit of that and then I'm going to and then for dinner I feel it feels like a pizza situation, right? Pizza. Pizza post hangout of that.

I mean, come on. You can't talk to that. That's perfect. Well, you know, what might be fun, though, is also, like, you grill up some dogs on the beach. If you got access to a fire, you got access to a barbecue. Sure, but who's bringing the stuff?

You know what I'm saying? Like, someone's just bringing one light chair. That's fair. That's fair. Probably the gal from shape of water. And the guy is not bringing shit. You know, she's got a grill on her back. This is in the ocean.

That's the guy. Exactly. Oh, yet another weekend at the ocean. That's fucked up. Yeah, I don't know. We're going to eat whale legs again. I, uh, why? Because I'm, I, look, I agree with that's too much stuff to bring, but having a package of hot dogs and buns and then catch a mustard and then cooking them on the beach.

That is fun. But it's a shit ton of stuff. I think it's doable. I think you just get one of the big ass coolers, right? Just get a big fucking cooler. And who's going to drag it? The gal. The gal.

Whoa, this keeps coming off. I will say, I kind of like the idea of having to bring everything from home. Yeah, okay. And for breakfast, I'm going to make it extremely hardy. I'm going to have a toast with, like, some sort of jam. And then I'm going to put in the air fire little smokies and make it lava hot. Put that in there and create a very hearty sandwich. Wow.

Little smokies and toast and jam. I never would have thought of that. Well, before that I would start with just a light seven pieces of. To start. To start. Then we're introducing the smoking. That sounds great, actually. Yeah, it's very tasty.

I'm on the beach. I might be having a little smoky a mo. Toke, joke. What the fuck are you smoking? A cigarillo? Sparking up a jay. I think that also, by the way, it depends.

My answer depends on whether Amelia's with us or not. Oh. Because the perfect thing to have is a pub sub on the beach. I fucking knew you were going to sit there. Oh, pub so is actually really. fun on the beach. He could bring one. Pub subs are,

they're, but honestly, just a tightly wrapped, like a tightly wrapped, like a tightly wrapped, um, what is a, like,

like, like, a, like, a, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like a hoagie.

It could be from Jimmy Johns. It could be from, from Jersey Mike. Not Jimmy Johns. I know, I like Jimmy Johns. It's fine. Yeah, I know.

We reviewed on the podcast before. I like, I like, I like Jimmy Johns, it's fine, you don't like, I feel like on the beach, it's like, hoogie roll,

meat and cheese is like what you get in those types of sandwich. And then they're just wrapped in cellophane wrap really tight. That's like what I remember it. By the way, salt and vinegar chips. Now you want the sauce. Now you want this the taste of salt. And you're right by the ocean. And you're right by the ocean.

Salt and vinegar chips big for me. Ice cold Coca-Cola is a must. You know it's wild? What's that? There's sea slugs. What's going on there? Yeah. That's a great point.

They're immune to salt. What happened? How does that work? That's evolution, baby. I think that's enough. I think that does it for the episode. Wait, so you have the little smokies in the morning. Oh, sorry.

What are you doing for your next course? I'm going to do another sandwich again, but I'm going to do a veggie sandwich with hummus, hot sauce, and a very sharp cheddar cheese. I love this. I think a well-made veggie sandwich is like a top-tier sandwich. The veggie sandwiches get neglected in the sandwich game by all the carnivores, but I will absolutely take great-begie sandwich.

They got a good one at Jimmy Johns. They do? Jesus. If we're cooking at the beach at night, hot dogs, if we're walking away from the beach pizza place. There we go. What about like a Korean barbecue? Oh, that's fun. I mean, I love it. But who's bringing it? The gal. The gal. The gal. You're damn right. Who was marinating it the night before? The gal. Yeah. To give the guy credit, he does live underwater. It's hard to marinate things. Oh, God. Here we go. An apologist, of course. Depending on the time of a beach situation you're at, though, because there are sometimes,

can be like, like, oh, there's a little, there's a little shore cafe or something, or there's a little beach bar. And maybe that's a place like, hey, I can go and get myself a lobster roll or whatever the fuck. You know what I mean? Yeah, sure. That could be fun. So that's an option too.

Let's up the shore cafe. All right, it's fine. You know what I mean? Some sort of beachy stand or like a restaurant that's on the ocean that's on the waterfront. Yeah, all right. They exist. They exist. They don't act like I'm crazy.

Oh, you know what'd be good, actually? You just showed me a tattoo of you washing hands. I'm going to act like you're crazy. My hands. I do like that. But I'm a guy who loves, because I love this interpretation of it. What is it? It's like Joe's prayer hands.

It was one of their flash designs. I like it. But I do like this hygienic interpretation because I'm a very clean guy. You're a clean guy. Yeah, yeah. Wait, but what was the last thing you just thought about a thing for dinner? I was just saying, like, no, you know what's, I just, what's so refreshing on the beach is saviche. If I can have a situation, have some fucking ceviche.

Sure. I'm in fucking hog heaven. Yeah. You're the hearty chip. I'm sorry to go back to this, but you said that tattoo took, what, 25 minutes or so? Something like that, yeah. Was it really? There's a lot of shading.

Yeah, they did a good job. Guys are pro. Wow. It didn't take too long. It was, I might have been, I may be underestimating it was definitely less than an hour. Did you pass out? No, I'm all. You were conscious?

Yeah, no, I was conscious. I fully conscious. Pass out. S-E-A-V-J, C-V-H-A. Mm-hmm. Just end the episode. I'm spiraling out now. You're doing great.

If you have a question or comment of the world of Shane Restaurant You name us Feedbag at Burr-D. Done 20 minutes ago. Let a more guests go home instead of sitting in this hot studio. 8304-6-3-844.

Our producer is Emma Erd-Bink. Special thanks to Sam Rogen. Thanks so much, Sam. Great to see you. Grand Slam Rogic. He's a bad dude. Our associate producer is Emilian Marino. Our video editor is Mike Dorfman.

And we got Do Boys merch at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys and meals. A few live shows coming up. Boston and Texas. That's right. Boston and Austin. November 17th, Houston, November 18th, Dallas, and November 19th, Austin. The first show is sold out, but the second show, there are still tickets left.

They're going like hotcakes, so you better get them quick. Dallas is almost lying now. Dallas is almost sold out too. Yeah, that's true. If you're having a haunt about Dallas, get on the trolley. And then November 25th, the night before Thanksgiving. We're going to Boston to the Wilbur. It's going to be insane.

You guys will not want to miss this one. That'll be a fun show. What the fuck's going on already? I'm doing what Emma does at the end of the episode. You're doing great. And we have one more announcement here, Mitch. Yes, Wags. And a very exciting announcement.

You know, this is our final episode in September. Mm-hmm. You know, October is... It's our theme month. Every month we do a different theme. And we're at the point where we can announce this October's theme. Can I just say this? Yes.

It's a few years in the making. You maybe have heard me... We've been hinting at this for a few years. Can I say it with you? Yeah, we've been hinting at it for a few years. This October's theme, it's finally happening. Drac Dober Fang. A spook Dracula month of Stakes and Steaks.

That's right, all Steakhouses and Dracula content in the main and Patreon feeds, starting with next week's episodes. So check those out. Subscribe at patreon.com slash doboys for Dracdober Fang. It's Dracula themed. That's the thing we're thinking about for three years. Track Dober Fang. Look, Wally and Irma are a bats.

And this is why Mitch said Fang at the beginning of the episode. Amelia, a little bit like the sixth sense. I was dropping clues. I was planting seeds. In fact, I even said you see dead people. You inceptioned us. Inception to everybody. I did.

Our guests, the great Mary Stone, with October on the horizon, more like scary moan. Do you ever go by that? Yeah, do you ever go by Scary Mone? I'm usually a scary bone. Oh, scary bone's really good. Yeah, scary bone. Scary bone is actually better. That's a punch up.

Yeah, they're both good. They're both good. Mary. Classic Wygg's lineup, they're both good. Mary, anything you'd like to plug? I would. If you're in the L.A. area, October 19th, at the Elysian, I'm doing a show called the perimenopause late show.

It's a late night show all about perimenopause. We'll sing, we'll laugh, we'll come, commiserate and we'll do it all together. Wow, that's awesome. October 19th at the Elysian. We're going to be with tickets? Elision Theater. If you look up the Elision Theater, I think it maybe

is Allegiant Theater.com. You'll link it in your social media for people. Yeah, I'm actually coming back after eight years of not being on social media just for this show. Wow, there you. Elisntheater.com. Bless you, Amelia. Tickets available, elizienteater.com.

Thank you, fellas. Thank you so much for being here. You know, I love it. Are you excited about Drac. I am. I'm so excited. This is very cool. I don't know if the listeners will feel the same, but we're excited. No, they're going to be pumped.

That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Hagerweiger. Happy eating. See ya. That was a hate gum podcast.