Doughboys - Tombstone Week: Tombstone (the pizza) with Blank Check

Episode Date: May 7, 2020

Tombstone Week continues (and Topical Freeze begins) as Blank Check Podcast hosts Griffin Newman and David Sims return to review frozen pizza brand Tombstone and to play another edition of Family Food.Sources for this week's intro:Railroad Maps, 1828-1900https://www.loc.gov/teachers/classroommaterials/connections/railroad-maps/history3.html  American Railroads in the 20th Centuryhttps://americanhistory.si.edu/america-on-the-move/essays/american-railroads  Origin of Medford, Wisconsinhttps://www.wisconsinhistory.org/Records/Article/CS10436 History: Medford, Wisconsin (1881)https://www.wiclarkcountyhistory.org/4data/97/1035.htm Joseph Simek was a founder of Tombstone Pizzahttp://archive.jsonline.com/news/obituaries/simek-a-founder-of-tombstone-pizza-has-died-g08rrao-192103331.html/  Tombstone's success means a piece of the [pizza] pie for everyonehttps://www.minneapolisfed.org/article/1993/tombstones-success-means-a-piece-of-the-pizza-pie-for-everyone  A Tasty Tale from 1962 ONCE UPON A BARhttps://www.tombstonepizza.com/aboutWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

May 10, 1869 marked the first completed transcontinental railroad route in the United States. The massive expansion of the nation's rail system in the mid-19th century would contribute to a rush of westward migration later romanticized in motion pictures as the Wild West. But it wasn't just the high deserts of California that were affected. Much of the country would be reshaped by the commerce and travel that rail transit would facilitate and by the establishment of outposts along the many routes crisscrossing the continent. And one of those outposts was the sleepy town of Medford, Wisconsin, named for a Massachusetts city of the same name, built straddling the Wisconsin Central Railroad and chosen as the

site of a circuit courthouse. The next century in the 1960s as the country's rail system, like much of its infrastructure, would be neglected or actively dismantled, brothers Ronald and Pep Symec moved to Medford from Chicago and would take over operating a tavern overlooking a cemetery and named for a grave marker. The brothers lived it up as bar keeps at the spooky speakeasy until, as the legend tells it, Pep suffered a severely broken leg that forced him to ease up on the partying and focus on the tavern's secondary source of revenue, pizza.

As Pep's za recipe improved and sales rose, the Symec started packing their pies in dry ice and delivering them by car to paying customers to be reheated in home ovens. The taken baked concept struck gold like a lucky prospector and the brothers Symec would leave the bar behind entirely and develop a multi-million dollar frozen pizza empire which would be sold to Kraft and then Nestle. But the processed food megacorps retained the brand's boneyard evoking name and, fitting for a company established in a town founded as a 19th century railway stop, would reference the Wild West in its marketing, most famously in a grim 1990 television commercial, where

a captured marshal about to be hanged was asked by his executioner, what do you want on your tombstone? This week on Doughboys, part two of Tombstone Week as we review Tombstone Pizza. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger. Alongside my co-host, the star of Honey I Shrunk My Dick, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Jesus. Jesus Christ.

The person who sent that in said, don't you dare say my name, love you. So I wanted to stay anonymous, but that was this week's roast. RoastSpoonMan at gmail.com if you have an insult you'd like me to use on Mitch at top of the show. What a good coward. They just don't want to be doxxed. They don't want to be doxxed by some toxic Spoon Nation member. Oh, that's fucking bullshit and you know it.

Wigs. Honey, you know what? That's not that bad of an insult because if we live in a world where the shrink ray exists, then also the Honey I Blew Up the Kid ray also exists. Right. And so I'm using that thing on my dick. I mean, right? Yeah.

I mean, it could be that you missed and you already used it on your head. Can I interject here for a second? Yes, please. I'd say as a big fan of the podcast, I believe Honey I Shrunk My Face has previously been used as a roast. It has been used. It has been used. Also clever.

It has. It has. It's a good format. Nick. That's what people like a format. Getting a little hacky with the old roasts, I gotta tell ya. It's a refillable. Yeah, it's a refillable.

Nick, I'm gonna make my background on Zoom be a photo of you and I the day we started the podcast. Okay. Yes. All right. This is from our very first episode and it was just us with no guests before we actually started. Okay.

Before we actually started taking pictures of the guests. All right. Let's see what comes up here. There we go. Mitch put up a photo from Spaceballs of Pizza the Hut and his robot companion. Who is that robot's name? That's pretty good. Some sort of joke on some fucking like Bango Jet or something.

I don't know. I don't know what it is. So a joke on Django Fett, the prequel character from the film that came out years after. Okay. I'm sorry. Boba Fett or something. Boba Fett. Boba Fett.

Yeah. How's that? What do you want from me? I mean it's still... I don't know. I didn't know if you actually knew the guy's name. They do like the... And also Mel Brooks' wife is Mel Brooks is funny.

So it would be something funny. Yeah. We like Mel Brooks. Of course. No one's impugning Brooks. Oh God. I hate looking at Pizza the Hut. Jesus.

Take him off. Get him out of there. He is gross, right? I mean it's too gross. He's a grotesque character. But he is also appetizing and we see why he was fated to die of eating himself. You would eat... We've talked about this before but you would eat Pizza the Hut.

So if you're giving me the... You're sending me the robot roll here. In the film Spaceballs, some of Pizza's pepperoni slash cheese face falls off of him and the robot guy grabs it and says he tastes delicious. And Pizza the Hut likes that. So yeah, I think he'd be scrumptious. That's fucking foul. That's disgusting.

Anyway. I don't know. Dispunation. And Nick, how about I do a little drop right now? Oh, I'm excited to hear this drop. All right, here it is. What's the situation Snake? Uh, I can suck my own dick.

What was that noise? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Wow. Wasn't that good, Nick? Oh, we had so much fun hearing that drop. Sending your drop, SpoonmanDrops at gmail.com. Yeah, send them in to SpoonmanDrops at gmail.com. That's right.

Again, again, that email address is SpoonmanDrops at gmail.com. And also, I just want to say, Nick, that today's drop was courtesy of Danny Grainer, who writes, Dear Mitch, and then the link to this drop. Sincerely, de-grains. Thank you, Danny. Wow, that's nice, huh? Wow, very nice. And again, that email address is SpoonmanDrops at gmail.com.

And hey, we've got some great guests this week, Mitch. Uh-huh. I agree. All with us all week long. So we've got this. We're going to do a run of a theme month of frozen meals, Doughboy's Topical Freeze. And we're kicking it off with a theme week, Tombstone Week, Part 1.

It's funny that we chose Topical Freeze based on Tropical Freeze, which is no longer topical. But that we're doing something frozen is topical, because people are consuming a lot of frozen foods right now. I'm just saying the game is now old. Even the Switch version of the game is now old. We did it over like a year ago on this podcast. Right.

But I don't think the game being topical, like I don't think the pun hinges on the game itself being topical. I think just that we can say that it's, what we're doing is topical and that justifies the pun. Our guests are shaking their heads at you. I'm hoping at you. With us all week long for this theme week, Tombstone Week, Part 1 reviewed the movie on Tuesday's Doughboy's Double.

And today we review the pizza. The host of the great movie podcast, Blank Check with Griffin and David, Griffin Newman and David Sims. Hi guys. Hello. I just want to say that Nick almost just called you guys ghosts. The ghosts with the most.

Yeah, I had to retake it. I almost called our guest ghost, which is too spooky for the pod. Especially for a tombstone episode. We don't want to scare everyone. Can I just say I have a window open here with the Spaceballs wiki. Griffin, we did the exact same thing. This is crazy.

Did you get the same result here? So Mitch, both you and Weiger agreed that whatever his name is, it must be some sort of joke, right? That's my guess. Yeah. I regret to inform you. The robot is named Vinny. Yeah.

They didn't even try. They were like, I don't know what he's Vinny. That's still funny. Well, but it says so the character is played by Rudy DeLuca, who is like a co-writer and a lot of Mel Brooks movies. And on the trivia on the Spaceballs wiki, it says the name for this character was actually inspired by DeLuca's brother, Vincent Thomas DeLuca.

Rudy being longtime friends with director Mel Brooks, asked this as a small favor to pay homage to his brother. Wow. That's nice. That's nice. Here's the. He gets to eat Pizza Hut's face in a little tribute. I agree with Weiger that that looks young, yummy.

As a child, I wanted to eat Pizza Hut. Yeah, it looks toothsome. Yeah. I think David, did you want to eat Pizza Hut? No, he has eyes and the eyes just really throw me off. He might be muted. Oh, am I muted? No, he's not.

No, he's not. Okay. I can't hear him. Listen up. I have things to say about Pizza Hut. I can't hear David. That's so weird. Have you muted him?

No, I haven't. Have I been shadow banned? But you can hear everybody else. I can hear everybody else except for David. Weiger, you fucked up somehow, Weiger. That's fucking weird. Can you all hear me? What's going on?

Wait, hold on. Yeah, I can hear you. Let me see something. Weiger, we'll try muting him and unmuting him. Okay, I'm going to mute David. Unmute David. Jesus. David, can you talk?

Hello. Sorry. Yes, it's me, David Sims. No? Weiger? Weiger, did you hear that? I can't hear him at all. I see him talking.

I can't hear anything. I can hear everyone else. That's freaking weird. You fucked up. You fucked up. David, do you want to try leaving and re-entering? Yeah. Goodbye.

Okay, I think that's a yes. So strange. Yeah, it's bizarre. In the middle of a really important question, would you eat Pizza Hut? Hello? I can hear you now. Hey. There we go.

That was really weird. That is, having done lots of these, that's never happened to me. Yeah, that was very strange. All right. Well, luckily we have a good place to pick it up from. Yes, well, Pizza the Hut, I did not want to eat him because he has sunken horrifying eyes and a mouth and that just sort of grossed me out. But the thing I wanted to mention was, I'm on the Spaceballs Wiki too, is that it refers

to Pizza the Hut as half man and half pizza. And I think he's more than half pizza. Like I think that is an incorrect ratio. It's like 90-10. Yeah, there's not a lot of man there. No. Well, maybe the pizza gene is dominant, maybe that's what's going on. Right.

If you get pizza-fied, it's going to be, you're going to be mostly pizza. He's fully pizza on his mother's side, half and half on his father's side. Can we not hear Mitch now? No, I can't hear Mitch at all now. I can't hear Mitch. I can't hear Mitch either. Maybe we all hear you even just start a new Zoom call. I'm fucking with you.

Oh, boy. Mitch just pulled a fast one on us. That's right. I was acting like Pizza the Hut. Mitch was moving his mouth without any sound coming out. So I don't know how much of this made it into the edit. I guess maybe we'll just keep it all at this point. I guess, yeah.

I don't know. We'll keep some mix of it. So, David, I couldn't hear his end of the Zoom call. I was the only one who couldn't hear him. I could hear everyone else. David left the call and re-interred, and then I could hear him again. Then Mitch started just moving his mouth on the Zoom call without any words coming out, and we all thought that he was muted.

I'll tell you why, because I love chaos, baby. Your Zoom's original prankster. I hope so dearly that you keep in both of those incidents and your description of what happened. So people have to listen to it and then listen to you. And then now you have to keep this in as well. Yeah. Keep it all.

I think so. Whatever. People need content now. It's just a countdown to get to 90 minutes' wives, right? That's all we're going to do. That's how I view it. Start the clock. Why?

I told you before this started, but I want to let the world know that I'm drinking a Diet Snapple created by Brett Michaels. It's called Troporaca. A Diet Snapple. It's got pear and fucking mango and some other stuff in it. Ten calories. Troporaca. Brett Michaels approved for his taste buds.

So Brett Michaels, the poison front man, later had his Rock of Love show. I think that was what it was called. He's a type one diabetic, he says, right on the side. Oh, wow. Okay. That makes sense that he's attaching himself to a diet brand then. He wants to show that being a diabetic doesn't mean you have to sacrifice having a good time. Just like...

Go ahead. Sorry. Brett Michaels certainly was not sacrificing any good times and speaking of which. So I was reading this website that was all... It was like a groupie website that was like a bunch of rock stars, prowess and equipment in bed. And the Brett Michaels entry, the detail that it included is it's... Talking about him being like a passionate lover, but that he never takes his headband off during sex.

That's his brand. Wow. That's his thing. Yeah, he's got the headband on. I imagine that's maybe some male pattern baldness that he's covering, right? That has to be what's going on. Right. Sort of like LeBron.

It's just part of the look now. Yeah. That headband's just creeping up eventually. I don't know. It's working for him. Hey, Nick. I just want to say... Go ahead, Griffin.

Sorry. No, I feel like the big urban legend now, and maybe it's gone beyond urban legend because it keeps on getting repeated by different people, but that Leonardo DiCaprio always wears noise-canceling earbuds during sex. Wow. I've heard this too. Yeah. I've heard this, yes.

That's wild. Yeah. You know, Natalie does that move. It's fine. It works for her. Nick, I hope that... Yes. I hope that making love to Brett Michaels is better than that.

Troparaca, that diet-troparaca. Oh, it didn't work for you? It's just not the best. You know, I like the half and half. Half lemonade, half iced tea, what you try to claim as a Nick Weiger. If we're talking... Yeah. Three quarters fucking iced tea and a quarter lemonade or some bullshit.

Mine's a third and two-third. That's the Nick Weiger. As far as snapples go... Which was also Arnold Palmer, by the way, was a third and two-thirds. It's mine. I will say that the... Of snapples, I always like the peach snapple. And when I would go for the diet one, the diet peach snapple was a very, very good replication.

Do you guys have a David Griffin? You guys have... Boy, David Griffin. That's a guy. There is a David Griffin. The comically rich owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers, right? David Griffin is now the... He used to general manage the Cleveland Cavaliers and now he is the...

Oh, that's who I'm thinking of, right? He's the GM, right? Yeah, he's the GM of the Pelicans. And the Knicks almost had him, but we couldn't get him because we're too sad and incompetent. Yeah. Oh, boy, you're a Knicks fan. I am. Oh, man.

Hey, Nick, he's not the only Griffin. Oh, wow. Wow. It's me, Peter Griffin. It's Peter Griffin. This is amazing. I can't believe Peter Griffin got in the chat. You think this pandemic's bad?

I can't wait to hear what non-sequitur flashback he throws out now. Remember that pandemic in Magnolia, the movie? Pandemic in Magnolia? You mean the frogs? When the frogs fell from the sky? I don't know if I characterize it as a pandemic. I didn't know Peter Griffin was such a PTA fan. That seems like more of a Brian Griffin affectation.

Do you remember that time we watched Phantom Thread? I really enjoyed myself. All right. Well, bye, everybody. Oh, so we didn't get a flashback. He just brought up a memory and then left. Interesting format break for Family Guy. Bad those in post, I think.

My father's name is Peter, and so growing up, my orthodontist filed things incorrectly and all the bills for my retainers and braces were sent to Peter Griffin. Wow. In Kohog? They were sent to Kohog? Took a long time to reach us. That's a solid poll, right?

I had to think for a second. Why? They should have made a Kohog house like they did the Simpsons House in Vegas. What do you think of that, Nick? That's a great idea. I think that's a great idea. Never stop doing that. People love that shit.

Whoever figured it out first. I don't know if it was Harry Potter Land. I don't know what it was, but whoever figured it out that you should just build the thing from the movie and let people go into it or from the TV show and let people go into that. People love that. They can't get enough of it. Do it for everything.

Why not? Yeah, absolutely build the Family Guy house. We should rebuild Palmerston somewhere. These theme parks are going to be so desperate when they finally reopen that they might start making podcasts and paste attractions. That might be like the new expansion. Man, it's sad to me that the Nintendo world was supposed to open up this year, wasn't it? I think there was talk of that.

And I didn't end up materializing. I think it was supposed to be Japan this year and then Orlando next year. Oh, I thought I think Hollywood is before, I thought Hollywood was, yeah, I think Hollywood's before Orlando, crazy. Oh man, David has never been to a universal park or a Disney park. And that was like the big plan this year was to get him to go and go on all the rides related to movies we've covered on the show. And I finally had sort of like settled the issue and we were starting to make the plans

and then the entire world shut down. Now, David, is this partly because as you revealed on our previous episode to Griffin Surprise, you were raised in the UK. Thank you for bringing this up. Thank you for bringing up that Griffin was surprised so he can't be surprised again. Wait, I'm sorry. I must not have been here for this. You're mistaken, Weiger.

If I had heard this in a previous Doe Boys episode, I would remember it. Okay, I have never heard this before. I did when in 1995 moved to the United Kingdom where I lived for 13 years. Unfucking believable. And so I've been to Chessington World of Adventure, but I haven't been to Disney World. Doesn't count. It's got to be American. Yeah, Chessington World of Adventure, to be clear, does not really count.

What do they have there? What is that theme park like? I mean, the Brits are actually like their ride freaks. We have all kinds of theme parks there, but Chessington World of Adventure, just I don't know. There was a ride called the Bubble Works that had like, it was like a, what do you call like a wet dark ride, Griffin? Like where you're like in a boat.

Like a flume. It's a dark ride. It's like a dark ride, a flume log ride. Yeah. But it wasn't a flume. You didn't go down. It was all thematic. And there were bubbles and like strobrites and stuff.

I think it's a wet dark ride. They had a big faulty tower section, right? Like their version of the Potter section was just, you go through the actual hotel and they're like five different rides based on Potter. Potter is English. You don't get to claim Potter. Yeah, but they just didn't get the rights.

They blew it. They had a thing called Ramsey's Revenge that would spin you around. There are more different faulty tower rides than there are episodes of faulty towers. It's 13 to 12. Manwell's Rally Racers. All right. What this is. Yeah, I wonder if Britain's still chill with Manwell.

When I left, Manwell was still, everyone was cool with that, but I don't know if that's still the case. He was, yeah, that was, I mean, I remember watching, so I didn't grow up in the UK like you did, but I did. Wait a second. I'm sorry. This is the first time I'm hearing about that. Why are you telling me that you spent none of your adolescence in the UK?

It's true. Yeah. I've listened to every fucking episode of your show, and this is the first I hear about it. You know what? I'm a lifelong SoCal surfer dude, but my dad loved British comedy, and a lot of it they aired on PBS and he'd just tape it, so I watched a lot of Monty Python and a lot of faulty towers as a kid.

I remember, I thought that show was legit funny. I don't know if it holds up. I haven't watched it. It definitely holds up. I think it's really funny. It's like here are sort of clockwork sitcom comedy. It's great, but like there is the character of Ben Well, who is just like a foreigner, and everyone's like, it's crazy how this guy doesn't speak English like the rest of us.

Yeah. His catchphrase is like K, I think, right? That's right. He doesn't understand anything anyone says, so he just keeps going K, and it's, yeah, it's probably not the most, it's not the least problematic characterization, I guess. Right. I mean, I guess it's a little different in that he's like playing like a Spaniard. Yeah, that's true.

It's a little different, but yeah, yeah. Wasn't there like a whole controversy, too, where Russell Brand on his radio show called up the actor who played Manuel and told him in graphic detail about having sex with his daughter? That is correct. And it was Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross, who was sort of like the Letterman of the UK. He was like big talk show host, and it was such a controversy that Jonathan Ross had

to like quit show business for a while. Wow. It like ended that show. Did it not? Yeah, Britain was like, you've gone too far. The line was there, and you crossed it. You can't do this. The actor who plays Manuel is like the Tom Hanks of the UK.

Exactly. He's like the most beloved figure. His name, I think, is Andrew Sacks, I believe. Wow. Also, what a fucking, fucking, Russell Brand, what a fucking douchey. Of course he did that bullshit. That sucks. And his persona is just like, it's one that just doesn't work in the US for a comedian

of just like the cool comic, like it's just, like that's like a thing that I think you can do. You can pull off in the UK. But I think in the US, like just like, yeah, this guy who's like a fucking, dresses like a rock star and talks about the women he's had sex with that just doesn't, isn't what people are looking for from comedy. Well, it's also just like so hard to imagine the American equivalent of that, which would be like Howard Stern calling up Don Knotz.

I fucked your daughter, Don. Artie Lang railed your daughter. I don't want to hear this. It's horrible. Yeah. You guys, I want to talk about, because we talked about theme parks a little bit, and but you guys have a movie podcast and I know we are all theater goers. We all like to go to movie theaters.

Obviously, they're not something that people are going to right now, and we don't want to get too bleak on here, because I know we've bumped some people out with some quarantine talk in the past. I know some people use this podcast as an escape, so we're not going to try to get too bleak. I want to talk towards the future of what do you think movie theaters are going to look like coming out of this, and do you foresee any changes to the business as the VOD that comes day and date, kind of with a theatrical release?

Is that going to be, do you think that's going to be more common? What do you think we're going to be looking at? What do you think, Griffin? I am currently, well, I mean, in my day job, I have to write about this stuff, and they keep asking me, well, what's going to happen? What's going to happen? Right. I feel like the next question is, who's going to take the plunge and put a movie out again?

Same movie theaters get to open back up, but maybe they can only have 50% attendance or whatever. People are going to have to be like, well, we're going to have to put out some movies just so there can be movies, so that this can continue to exist, even if we're not going to make the money we usually make for a while. I think it's like a multifaceted thing where it's going to cause a more extreme version of how things were already headed at a faster point. Right.

Everything will get a little heightened. Right. So I think once, not maybe the moment the theater's reopened, but the moment that culturally it feels like this is a safe, acceptable thing to do again, I think you're going to see a lot of pent-up demand. I think one of those like that first wave of blockbusters to come out once it's acceptable again is going to wildly overperform because the people who thought that they didn't like going to the theaters are going to realize how much they miss being a room full of strangers.

Like it will add back the sort of sentimental value of the importance of what's special about going to a movie theater. But I also think it's just even more sort of formed the mindset of the theater is for a special big event movie that you see on opening weekend so you avoid the spoilers or for like an art house thing that you do to culturally enrich yourself. And anything that's in the middle you can probably wait to see at home. And I think the fact that people are now seeing so many of those movies at home that either were released very quickly after they were in theaters are now going to start being released

online before they were in theaters. I think that's only just going to hammer home this idea of like which movies are theater ready. And a thing that David and I invoke a lot is Steven Soderbergh has talked about how like the data is so advanced now. The button. He told me this in person. It was in an interview.

David did an interview. With David Sims. Interview with David Sims. Wow. Steven Soderbergh. Atlantic interview. And he was talking about Logan Lucky and how he was like trying to revolutionize the distribution process for that movie.

And then he was like by 11 a.m. on the earliest time zone on the first day it was in theaters it was clear that it was not going to do well. Like the data was so clear so quickly. You know right. Wow. There should be an option where if it becomes clear that your movie is not going to get an audience in theaters after that opening weekend you push a button and it goes on to VOD. And that's what I would like to see because sometimes you get a movie that surprises and

ends up getting a real theatrical audience even though one would think it was not something that would warrant a big screen experience. I would like theaters to still give movies that chance but after like three days if it's not doing well kind of doing what they've done now which is push a button and go okay it's up early for twenty dollars. I was also bummed if like no comedies got released in theaters ever again. You know. Yeah.

Well I do think there's a thing of there is obviously there's also on the other side of that there's an inflation in the number of people who are ordering movies the weekend they came up because they are in quarantine. You know what I mean. Like I don't think. I don't think those numbers are going to be as good as they that maybe they think they are or like on a normal weekend I don't know if you're going to get someone to download or purchase the hunt or something as much as as as you think you know I like I don't

know if that I don't know about that system of work. Yeah you could be right Mitch but then again I was thinking like it is I feel like so much of of going to the movies is like a shared experience and I feel like you know like people watch the shit out of Netflix series because everyone has Netflix and it can be like a shared experience like we're all fucking watching Tiger King right now let's all talk about Tiger King and I think there could be something to hey this movie is coming out this weekend on VOD every a bunch of people are going to pay 20 bucks to see it because it's got you know it's a director they like or a cast they like and they want to and then everyone's

going to talk about it like maybe that could be a fucking sustainable model I don't know but it's I think like it's interesting to see things priced at that level at that level and then to see them still being bought I know the circumstances right now are obviously unique but I think there is a market for day and date releases that are at a higher price point. I think so too and even if it's just like it's not a six week or eight week window anymore it's a one week window before it goes up on VOD like that's something I would be conceptually fine with as long as movies get a chance to perform in theaters.

I do think the numbers are inflated now because everyone's stuck at home and there's this novelty factor to oh my god these things are available so immediately and not everyone's going to be willing to pay that much for everything that comes out for the next however many months but I do worry that like to a certain degree people are now getting trained into a new behavior because in that way of what you're talking about of like oh Tiger King became I have to watch it because I want to know what all these memes are I want to get the jokes I don't want spoiled for me I feel like movies have been moving in that direction where the movies that most people we all go to the theater more than the average consumer

but most people I feel like now save theater going for a thing they don't want to be ruined. It's like I have to go see the Marvel movies opening day whether or not I'm a big Marvel fan because if I'm gonna see it I need to see it before someone ruins it for me through a gift and like yeah that I think is a thing that's changed and it's it's made that feel like those movies need to be seen immediately and other ones do not but then you see some of the like artier movies on Netflix that became memes where I'm like I don't think this many people would have watched Marriage Story if not for them being able to see that meme structure and then know that they could just open a new browser window and watch the

movie right away. Right that makes sense. What have you guys been watching at home as big time moviegoers what have you been watching in your home theaters. I initially was like very gung-ho and I was like oh I'm gonna watch stuff I'm gonna clear out my watch list I'm gonna like get to every arty movie on my shelf that I haven't like watched yet and I did that for like a week and go through all yeah it's great to be home all the time I love it and there's no problems and then like I would say like a couple weeks

and I hit a wall and I was like man I just want to watch like fucking a few good men I want to watch like should have seen a thousand times or whatever that's very comforting and so I've been more in that zone I'm trying once again to like you know fire up my criterion channel and like you know be good and watch things that will enrich me a little bit. I like almost immediately watch the first 12 sandlers like it was like me at the grocery store grabbing for toilet paper before everything else and then going on to the streamers and finding every sandler I could I was just like I want everything through to like deeds give it to me.

Where do you rank your sandler what's what's your top tier sandler sandlers Griffin? Great question because my list is now different than it would have been pre-quarantine having rewatched so many of them I haven't gotten to anything post like 2003 so I'm curious to see if anything changes in the back half because I put Zohan certainly in his top five and Zohan is high for me for top one but as of a recent rewatch of the first half the filmography I think it's wedding singer with a bullet for me I think that is the one that hits the the most different areas of what sandler can do well. So you like a little bit of story and sort of like Hollywood romance mixed in with the

like sandler stuff. I think that one has the best balance of like because there is something sentimental about sandler and I think that's a movie where he gets the balance right versus like Big Daddy which I still enjoy you see him going like two degrees more mockish after that and then by the time you get to grownups you have like his daughter crashes the SUV into a tree because she wants to see grandpa again like you have these things that are just like hard string pulley out of nowhere. I do like a little bit of story I like a balance between sandler being able to be sandler

and being able to be a vaguely recognizable human being with emotions you know like I like when he gets to do both and wedding singer has an equal amount of like scenes where sandler just fucking loses it and goes huge and scenes where he like kisses a girl and you believe that she would do it. Right versus like Sandy Wexler where you're like come on. Oh come on Sandy Wexler rules. I love Sandy Wexler but I think David you and I agree that the moment when he and Jennifer ruts and sleep together you're like I'll let this happen.

I'm not happy about it but I will excuse it. In fact you saying that I was like I had totally forgotten that happens and I think that was just my brain like papering over that immediately. It ends with them getting married. I know. It's a time jump to their wedding. But I just want to be like with Kevin James and there's like a puppeteer and he's being weird stuff like that.

I'm all in on Wexler. Yes I mean I think it's like a wedding singer. Billy Madison was the one that I thought maybe was my number one and now I rank lower. I still like it. Oh that's the number one for me. Really? Wow. It's still the number one for me.

Bill come on. It's one of the best. I think it's like five or six for me. I think it's still up there. Oh alright wow. In my mind's eye not having seen it in a long time I was like that's probably my number one. I will say also when I got into sandler it was when I was a child I got walking pneumonia

and I missed like two months of school and in retrospect I realized I think my parents thought I was going to die and did a good job of not passing along that anxiety to me but there was a lot of weird shit in retrospect that I looked back on and I'm like oh they were genuinely scared but my mother was like very protective of what I watched and thought like everything was objectionable but also didn't want me watching anything she thought was stupid and like sandler was like a guy in a glass case where it was like you don't do that. I just had him sandler movies and the second I got sick she was like which sandler movies

do you want me to rent so I watched like the early sandler movies while sick in bed leading up to the water boy coming out which was then like the first time I left home in like two months. So that was like a big event for me. Sandler was like really formative and watching them again now all in quarantine feels like a weird mirroring where it's like I'm once again in bed unable to leave just like grabbing onto sandler and asking him to keep me afloat mentally. Wow I saw I remember specifically seeing the water boy in Quincy cinemas which no longer

exists I think it was flagship cinemas and that is like the one that I remember specifically. I saw Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore I think in theaters I just don't remember the moment I saw them in theaters but Billy Madison is just in all time. I mean it's like silly and weird it's such a weird movie too. It's incredibly weird. That's like uncut sandler that's that's before I feel like he needs to even have any kind of sense to his like it's just it's just a bunch of funny stuff. See I'm I need to do the rewatch but in my mind now having rewatch Billy Madison recently

I feel like Zohan is my preferred uncut sandler if you're going for just like pure wackadoo shit. I love Zohan. David other than Zohan you got any favorites? My favorite is probably hmm my favorite is probably Billy Madison if I'm going for like old young classic sandler. The wedding singer I saw with my mom and that I remember that like being a sort of cherished whatever like 11 year old like you know we both agree like that that we could both handle

that movie like it appealed to different things for us. And so I remember we saw the water boy because she was like I like the sandler guy let's go to the water boy and that was like that was what she was like no no more of this guy I'm absolutely out on him and I was like I still dig it I like it. The one I've seen the most is Big Daddy. I've seen that for some reason like 10 times Big Daddy's really good. Yeah I love Big Daddy and I love the water boy I like almost all of them I think all of them are until a certain point are high hitters and then there's some that are better

than others later on. I mean I'm horny for serious sandler I like you know punch drunk club and then the bomb back movie I mean like he's just got so much to unlock. He's the king. It is so weird in retrospect that he did that water boy character for an entire movie and it was a colossal hit. Yeah. Like that the trailer is just here he is with all the affectations it's going to be this

voice and like these mannerisms for an hour and a half and people could not wait. Like we just don't have character comedies like that anymore let alone a character that is that extreme and that was the movie that made him like a full out blockbuster guy. Like that was just a fucking huge swing. Yeah. Here's the thing with him is that like he's playing a character that is a that's he plays losers all the time but losers that are likeable and he doesn't have to look cool which in real life you know he's cool and in the movies obviously there's love interests that are our

way out of these characters leagues or whatever that that he gets with or whatever but that's besides the point I feel like every other modern comedy can you think of anyone who like plays like such a loser character that is also likeable like I feel like so many modern comedies like the guys are kind of cool and and and kind of and hippie like forty year old virgin is maybe the one I can think of that that that's like but even an anchorman is like a silly character but he's not it's it's a different thing to me that's like right like feral characters are buffoons they're not losers and they're like high status idiots right right and then like faisal if you will yeah apatow faulties apatow characters are

like slackers but they're not like users in the same way so characters are usually weirdly low status right apatow characters usually have more room to grow like the movies usually about them growing right yeah like that's part of the arc and then I feel I well I feel like just with that with that Sandler thing that lose that I think that I think that connects with so many people in the real world who probably feel that way anyways about themselves but specifically with people who are funnier comedians I feel like there is a part of people who just think they're losers so they relate to that and he and he plays it great I mean it's great can I throw out a quarantine watch a first time watch that I just did that I was very sort of pleasantly surprised by I don't

know if this is cabin fever speaking but I think this is a pretty good loser comedy for my guy who doesn't usually play loser I'm officially a drill bit Taylor stand Taylor it's now on Netflix I never watched it because there's one kid in the movie who looks a lot like me and I didn't hear the end of it when it came out both making jokes about it and people sincerely texting me and saying congratulations on booking a big role so I just like avoided it outright and I watched it the other night when I couldn't sleep and I find it very fun and it's an interesting movie because it is like very much about the kids and Owen Wilson is kind of like the Beetlejuice of the movie like he's like the exciting supporting character but he's not the lead really but it is like what if a guy

had Owen Wilson levels of like blase confidence about everything but was objectively a loser like that's the premise of that movie is like a homeless guy who acts like Owen Wilson so everyone's like oh shit this guy must be like a fucking movie star and instead he like lives in a tent in the woods I love it Rogan wrote that right yeah Rogan and Goldberg wrote it and Apatow produced it wow I'll say this the movie I've I've watched child's play two twice since I've been in quarantine twice I know for no particular reason play it's the best way it is it is the best child's play I agree I was gonna say that it doesn't get as much love but there's some good there's some good moments in that in that movie there's the climax at the toy factory is amazing it's one of the best set

pieces ever in a horror movie Griffin 100% agree who are like child's play what's child's play it's Chucky yeah it's Chucky it's the Chucky movies people think they're called something they're called Chucky but they're called child's play they were originally the first I mean did you yeah the first three yeah did you did you think that did you think that it was called did you know what child's play was I guess a big question to you I googled it real quick did you really not know I can't tell no I know I know I just I think I think people think of you know Friday the 13th Jason the night before Elm Street Freddy but people don't know Chucky enough I think people don't connect the phrase child's play to Chucky the character because the franchise didn't exist

for as long they started reading them on just like Chucky movies and if people think of Chucky they don't think of it as being called child's play he is to me as a child that was the scariest movie monster because it is a doll and when you're a little kid you have dumb little toys like a Chucky and you're a friend or Mickey Mouse doll yes yes of course I thought Mickey Mouse grabbed my arm one night this is true yeah I thought and of course a lot of that probably came from the child's play movies child's play is a movie that I remember when like pay-per-view first started and the movies would first start playing for like the first five minutes they would just show the movie before they blurred it out which is insane or maybe it was just to entice people to

be like I want to keep watching it and they'd buy it but you so I think you just you just have to call like an 800 number back then but Chucky was one of those movies I watched like the first like five minutes of it and be so fucking scared and they play the preview of it too and just it terrified me Chucky was he was scary so they show like they show like minute zero through five and so and if it's a horror movie a lot of times it starts with some sort of shocking kill or something right yeah yeah Chucky probably slash somebody wow I think another thing I don't want to scare you freak me out I think also like as a kid uh for for those who are of the generation and grow up through this that Chucky movies had the scariest like VHS covers like there was something

very startling about walking into a video store the big scissors right yeah like that's no because there's also a clown on there and a clown that's not great either if you're a kid the jack in the box looks scared yeah yes terrified and if you're a kid walking through a video store and you see like three different Chucky VHS covers in a row each one more threatening than the last you're like this is three too many why won't this guy quit yeah and and then when you finally watch the movies and Chucky's like man I gotta get out of this body it really sucks to be a doll you're like oh this is not this is not mortally terrifying yeah it's not scary at all the first the first one is maybe the most is maybe the scariest one I think I agree with you Griffin that

the second one is is probably the best and there's a that set piece at the at the toy factory is fucking great it's just so smart to be like oh the first one's a hit we have a bigger budget now what should we do and then we're like the last 20 minutes are in a factory line where they're producing Chucky's like they're trying to kill the one Chucky and more Chucky's are just coming down the belt every five seconds at rules I think I think in part one you see a lot of the guy in the Chucky suit like an actor in like a little Chucky suit and running around and that is truly terrifying yeah uh it's yeah it's but but Nick you have you ever watched any of these movies or no yeah I've watched these movies what do you know you're a Chucky guy I've seen the time yeah

I've seen I've seen Child's Play I don't think I've seen Child's Play too actually I've seen Child's Play I'm familiar with Chucky I believe you just the way that question was asked it says a little accusatory well you just I thought you would jump in with some Child's Play stuff you just were sitting there uh you're sitting there kind of staring at me it's a zoom call you can't interject all that much they weren't really disrupts the flow of conversation you have to really choose your spots it's tough did you have a my buddy doll Nick I did have a my buddy doll I gave him a haircut of course he did oh my god I washed his hair and gave him a haircut his hair did not respond well to being washed um and it got all stringy yeah can I guess can I guess where he is

dismembered and buried underneath your house I'm just sweating while the corpse dogs are sniffing my mom's flower bed that's that's um oh no no the other episode comes out first for a second I thought that was a pre-callback but it is now just a callback to another episode yeah it's a callback to a paywalled episode if people who listen to the double that callback is gonna cost you yeah we'll take a break we'll be back with more dough boys welcome back to dough boys it is tombstone week and we are talking tombstone the pizza with Griffin Newman and David Sims of blank check uh guys so I want to start here do you have do you have frozen dinners often is that a is that a common go-to for you uh David let's start with you and

then I will hear from Griffin um less for me this was part of the joy of this was that it's summoned nostalgia for like my teen years when when a frozen meal was more common my college years but uh no I like to cook I cook a lot so I rarely uh go to this well not not not out of judgment more just out of like it's just it's not really on my wavelength but uh that was that was sort of part of the fun of this is I haven't had a frozen pizza in a long time um I eat frozen pizzas too regularly uh I would uh appoint myself sort of a duke of frozen foods at the very least uh I've terrible eating habits are you putting on some kind of a like a little crown you have a scepter I just want I want people to pay some respect I've been putting in the years

I've been out in these streets every day um my my mother very much wanted to have a healthy household in which her children eat organic foods and I would literally go on like an Irish hunger strike if she put anything nutritional in front of me so pretty early on my mother relented and would just buy me whatever the frozen bullshit I wanted because otherwise I would have uh famined myself to death um but tombstone was like a big go-to for me I'd say like tombstone and French bread pizza were like two of my my ultimates and frozen foods have carried with me uh into my adult years um I don't cook at all uh which is embarrassing because everyone else my family's a foodie and my sister is like a chef um and I have been in this apartment for uh like almost a year and a half now

and earlier this year was like I'm gonna finally get my oven turned on I literally just didn't have gas running to my oven I just never bothered to set it up and I was like I should I should learn how to cook and Con Ed came to my apartment like two weeks before quarantine started and they were like something's weird here I don't know what it is we're gonna have to come back later and fix it and now they can't so I have been like even more than ever just fucking owning the the frozen food duke ship all about um uh but I love it I love I love it Griffin by the way I love it I think we have very similar eating habits my my friends call me a garbage belly and uh half mock me and half show genuine concern like please get your life together um but but tombstone has kind of

become a really valuable commodity in this time like well I don't know how much we're gonna talk about it but we struggled to find tombstones here in New York because it feels like in this rise of frozen foods tombstone has become the most uh beloved and desired frozen pizza yeah I think there are some lapsed of frozen food eaters who are like okay well now this is I gotta stock up and tombstone has a lot of nostalgic connection for people like it was it was our if we ever did a frozen pizza which was rare in my household but it was a it was either a tombstone or something from Costco it was rare Nick you it was rare to have frozen we didn't do a lot of frozen pizzas you know my my dad was a regular David Sims loved to cook so he'd cook us meals uh six or seven

nights a week and then uh and then we'd have we'd either get takeout or restaurants were very rare for my family I think it's part of why I love going to restaurants is because we just like never did it because my parents were so cheap it was like a once every three months sort of thing and just to clarify Nick this is you describing growing up in England right actually I grew up in sunny southern California you've never mentioned being a so cal surfer dude I'm a so cal surfer dude I never grew up and I never spent any time in the UK this has never come up on the podcast yeah I think I think David actually did grow up in the UK no that's impossible that's absolutely right and my favorite frozen pizza brand which I think is well wait does this

exist here and Britain knows obsessed with a frozen pizza brand called chicago town which was like ever never little individual like uh thick crust deep dish pizzas you would get two per pack and eat both because you know that's nice but yes this is apparently the UK's number one frozen pizza brand wow how was how how was the how was the faulty towers from brand frozen well you would always order it but then there would be all these comical misunderstandings and it would never come out of the oven Nick I'll take you on my frozen food journey I mean please think things I remember is like I've taught you about like what later on like Tina's burritos and stuff like that were big but as a kid I remember having kid cuisine do you remember kid cuisine

I do remember that yeah though it would be like dinosaur shaped nuggets and then like mac and cheese on the side yeah it was it was all like kids favorites I would have all that but as far as frozen food go to food goes tombstone was not the frozen pizza of choice wow at least it just we didn't we didn't usually get it um but for me it all starts with ilio pizza ilio's pizza the square or the rectangle pizza okay do you know do you not know that as well I don't I don't know this but I haven't seen it I can picture the package ilio's pizza it's like longer rectangle pizzas that you can split into three pieces that was the big one and then mama celeste obviously was the other that was huge I do know mama celeste I do know the red baron there was also these there was this

frozen pizza I remember um uh we're on the water so I remember at at at this at this this uh yacht club oh god people are just getting them whatever I don't give a shit what anyone says silver spoon if you were gonna call me silver spoon man um but uh my dad made a turner boat for my sister he actually built it um and I would sit there and I'd eat piggy's pizza I don't I think it's still around piggy's brand frozen pizza but the guy at the yacht club um he used to he used to say that you eat so much so much because you're gonna turn into a pizza is what he said to me back in the day that's a good joke I've that was one except it was it kind of sucks when I had acne like four years later oh yeah that that's tough because of the whole pizza face thing I had bad childhood

acne as well as a teen my grandma with that was a go-to joke for my grandma she'd be your eat so much of blank you're gonna turn into blank and I always thought that was a real hoot for me it was carrots I was eating a lot of carrots you're gonna turn in you you ate too much carrots yeah we did my my grandma would make carrots like make like buttered carrots or baby carrots I loved them so for like your grandparents was it like did they have to like force you to eat like fun snacks you would you would stomp in door and demand broccoli or whatever no I liked eating trash obviously as a kid I have this theory because I've always had a hard time getting into food I think I had like innately have a bad palate but I'll often forget to eat

and when I eat I'm almost exclusively attracted to garbage and I found like the baby journal that my mother kept when I was born and compared it to my siblings who were like eating normally and mine is just about how she could not get me to nurse like from day one I just like would not eat and I think the reason why I so greatly prefer like processed foods and frozen foods and things like that is that I was such a fast food kid because they offered toys and it was one of those things where I'd be like I gotta go to this restaurant I remember just like scarfing down McDonald's chicken nuggets that I didn't even really like and having to convince my parents that I loved the way they tasted because I so badly wanted like the Fragile Rock Racer or whatever

and so I think oh the Fragile Rock Racer is great it was a great line it was a great promotion but I think there was the there's the part of me that's still like I get a much better aside from the fact that they're like chemically designed to make you happy frozen foods make me feel better because it's like a long tail Pavlovian response to I'm gonna get a toy at the end of this um Griffin I've read my mom's journal too and she said that when I was a baby I was so hungry I emptied out her teat she was flat chested two weeks after you were born it's like two Altoids on a on an ironing board over here I got nothing left Altoids on an ironing board I remember reading someone in in the comments of some horrible

movie websites say that about Kira Knightley once and it has never left my mind it was so gross I it has just stuck with me forever I feel like I feel like I always am like oh I wish like I am to be message board still existed and now hearing that I'm like oh yeah there was a reason that they went away it was almost definitely on the I am to be message board because that was the only kind of discussion that was had there I love the IMD message board and I feel like now it would there like if you went on the IMD message board now there would be like arguments about whether like the coronavirus pandemic is real right yeah whether 5g called it caused it yes it would just say thank god the IMD be message boards are shut down and we have non-toxic platforms to communicate

on like Facebook Reddit Twitter all these places for me Twitter and Nick as I got as I got a bit older the I moved on to DiGiorno which I say I don't I don't think DiGiorno is that good but I remember when DiGiorno came out it was kind of a revelation when it came out they marketed as the prestige frozen pizza and it wasn't a higher price point I don't know if it still is I don't think it is anymore but I think just at the time like having like a thicker crust and like it felt like having kind of like a meteor thicker pizza was kind of like this like revolution and frozen pizzas but that it was that and then I remember my dad tried he went out like for Shedda a couple times I did not like for Shedda and then when I went away to college Tony's pizza

because I became my Tony's forgot about Tony's and Tony's is kind of similar to Tombstone I got to give credit to Tony's and Tombstone where like Tony's kind of does come in a bigger box but I like the packaging of both Tombstone pizza the package just in plastic a piece of cardboard on the back and a piece of paper over the top of it it's as far as packaging goes which is which is always wasteful and bad yeah it doesn't seem as bad as other as other things it's pretty minimal with Tombstone have you guys ever made the mistake this is an embarrassing one you put the Tombstone in with the cardboard disc underneath oh wow yeah I've done that by mistake before it's really it's rough because then the bottom doesn't crisp up David you were nodding I I almost

I didn't do it but I as I was unwrapping and I was looking at the cardboard I was like is this supposed to go in there because I remember once in college putting some frozen pizza just right on the rack and it like kind of like sank into the rack and you couldn't pry it out like it needed to be on but obviously the geniuses of Tombstone have solved whatever that is because like that thing comes out easy I cannot believe what I am hearing here there is nothing I take more seriously put more care concern and preparation into than baking a tombstone I can't even imagine fucking up that royally I might leave the oven on when I leave the house or would hypothetically wear their gas running to my oven I would never ever forget to throw out the cardboard before

putting a tombstone in the oven what what did you do to heat these up Griffin if you didn't have a working yeah so I have a toaster oven and that's the thing I've been I had a toaster oven when I moved in I've been living off a toaster oven for last year and a half I thought let me grow up and get gas to a real oven so I can make more complicated dishes and not just throw out frozen foods but so I'm perfectly set up for a tombstone got it yeah so tombstone pizza was founded in Medford Wisconsin it's founder Joe Symec he had a bar across the street from a graveyard in Medford called the tombstone tap and while he was running that bar he broke his leg and so he thought like he just was like for whatever reason that motivated him to have sort of a change in his life so he

started making tombstone pizza which was him and his brother packing pizzas and dry ice and delivering them by car at first turned into this gigantic global brand now owned by Nestle and I and this is a thing you brought up earlier Griffin but part of our odyssey in the lead the run up to this episode which has been on the books for a couple weeks is trying to obtain the tombstones themselves the website lists a bunch of different varietals like you know like your half and halves there's a hamburger tombstone there's a garlic bread crust I don't think any of us were able to come across any of these rarer tombstones they're just not available right now no they seem to be in pretty limited distribution um as I was sort of looking into it and I put a lot of effort into

I checked yeah Griffin sent me some some feverish texts about this truly like manic things I probably checked like maybe 15 different stores in the middle of a pandemic good god barely left my house in the last six weeks so like two of my only trips outdoors were spent just like doing like the equivalent of a pub crawl going to various frozen foods food fridges looking for them but also checking the website where it's supposed to list places where different varietals are in stock and then checking all the delivery sites and your instacarts and your walmarts and your targets that try to keep a good like digital inventory of specific locations and at no point did I ever see any other flavor in stock anywhere other than there was one

tombstone in New Jersey that had four meat that was you went to New Jersey no he didn't go I on the website okay okay it was a wall but not a tombstone I'm sorry I'm sorry it was a walmart New Jersey because David I had the conversation and I was like if we find a garlic bread in stock in New Jersey and it's less than an hour away would you drive would you do I want to be clear I never said yes to that I just kind of let that flow yeah and then I emailed Weiger and said so just so you know David has committed to trying to do David at no point said yes he just said okay interesting and then I emailed you and said we will do it if it ever goes in stock I kept on checking individual walmarts in New Jersey and they had a lot of tombstone funko pops in stock

it seems there's a real surplus of those right now but just the the main two flavors everywhere and every grocery store I went to it was like they didn't even have like the barcode as a skew for anything other than cheese and pepper wow so I feel like 95% of their distribution is those two flavors that's what it feels like that's what I what I came across the most uh by tombstone funko pops you mean from the you mean like Wyatt Earp and the from the movies okay yes from the got it but also I would gladly buy a funko pop of just a tombstone pizza maybe the founder maybe that guy or the founder yeah the founder is like great he's got a little pizza on uh you know one of those long stick things what do you call those things pizza platter

sure so the ones I got what I I found a I found I went to two different stores um and I was able to find a pepperoni at at the target and then at the Ralph's uh which is a Kroger brand I was able to find the supreme and the five cheese so that was the the triforce that I was able to run with uh what did everyone else track down uh Mitch let's start with you I got one singular pizza uh a three what do you want from me weiger you want me to go to every grocery store no I don't want you to make a bunch of trips no I just said I don't want you to do that I I went to one grocery store before I've I've been to the grocery store once before this happened actually I went to two places when this was all going down and I bought a bunch of groceries I went last night with the

intention of just buying frozen pizza and then since there was no one there I was at an Albertsons I just bought a bunch of food because no one was there and I figured now is the time to stuck up and get out of there um but it's given me so much anxiety to go to the grocery store I don't like doing it but it's not any inducing it's scary right now yeah I didn't I I was I was wondering about going to like if if they didn't have it at Albertsons I was going to go to the Ralph's but they had all and they had two big boxes of it but it was all three cheese pizza so I got myself a three cheese pizza which you saw me eat I just want to verify it's the one I had is a five cheese and on their website they specify five cheese is it is it five

or three because this is a different I'm gonna go get the wrapper right now okay Mitch is gonna dig the wrapper out of the trash while he's doing that Griffin what did you track down I I got a five cheese and a pepperoni which I believe is the same two that David got I would love it if somehow it is revealed from this wrapper that Mitch purchased the only three cheese it's like a two dollar bill or whatever you found like a weird misprinted pizza they just ran out of Parmesan that day I don't know make this one three who cares Mitch just ate a pizza that's worth like eight thousand dollars in the secondary market we should also mention that Mitch was finishing this pizza when we started recording yes okay Mitch is still foraging what David

David you got the you got the cheese and the pepperoni as well yes I ate the pepperoni for his my dinner last night and the five cheese is my lunch today yeah so I I spaced him out a little too I had the pepperoni for dinner a couple nights ago and then for lunch today I had the supreme and the five cheese which I ate about half of each boy it is really easy to take a single tombstone to the dome I had no trouble clearing those like I I believe I the wrapper has this slightly passive aggressive like one quarter portion is like a good meal or something on it's very uncarp plot is doing that he's doing the portion control on these things yeah that was absolutely a joke we're telling three times I have no regrets about all of us

rushing to that joke okay Mitch is holding up what I can't I can't read what this is is this a three cheese you fucking sharpied that okay all right Mitch Mitch altered Mitch used a sharpie to alter his wrapper from five cheese the three yes it's it's it's it's it's yes you think I was trying to trick you this is my doctor by the way by the way it's like Trump's storm map but by the way weiger the sharpie brand called pen what do you think that's a sharpie that's a straight up pen I said it was a sharpie that's my bad it's hard to tell how the thickness of the pen you were using it's you'd scribbled it in pretty thick there that looks like a good clean line Mitch yeah pens come in one size in this house thin and small all right

I don't want to say you know what I was fucking saying I threw it out it was a five cheese pizza nick five cheese pizza somehow tracked down the only two inch big pens I'll start with a supreme since I was the only one who got it you know what what that's a that's a fun dystopian movie that in high school like you can only use a pen that's as big as your dick boy yeah that would be that is a just that is very dystopian I I could see that being in like a David Lynch movie yeah you would have to two hand that thing like her all right let's take it easy yeah it'd be like the fucking the Flintstones when they get that piece of meat okay your desk would fall over so the supreme pizza sunny Corleone over here

a supreme crust supreme is original crust with a zesty sauce uh cheese sausage pepperoni onions peppers and olives I will say that this was my least favorite and as I was going through these I feel like there's kind of an addition by subtraction with the tombstones where the simpler they got the more I enjoyed them when the veggie toppings I feel like don't freeze as well as the meat toppings like they and and in particular like the the peppers and the olives are just kind of inert and flavorless um and they were really just adding texture um and uh you know I just feel like all the stuff on here the the the sausage the pet the pepperoni the onions peppers olives it's unka pachka like just get just I don't need all this I could I could do with a little bit less

to have the pepperoni hadn't had on a hat for sure the pepperoni I thought was quite good I could have used the pepperonis to like you know cup up a little bit I obviously wonder because the the the recommended temperature is 400 and I almost wonder if I should do these at like if I was doing these again if I do them on I'd made them do with them by the letter of the law I just did the instructions verbatim just to try to do it right I kind of wonder if I want to do these on like 425 and crisp them up a little bit I wonder if that would help it I don't know crispy mine was crispy as hell the cheese pizza so it might just be individual oven oven variants here well that's the thing you always have to account for I put mine in before it

got to the actual 400 level so I wonder if while the oven was heating up if it was more intense and maybe crisped it a little bit my I was I was the opposite of how it works oh well I don't know Nick I I mean I put it in for I only put it in because it was 17 to 19 minutes and I and I put it up to 400 and I put it in like the oven had been on for a little bit but it hadn't reached 400 degrees it hadn't beeped yet because I was it beeped about five or six minutes after I put it in the oven and when I opened it up 17 minutes later 18 minutes later I it was close to like almost too burnt but it was that weird thing of the edges were very crisp the middle I was like is this middle not done enough but then when I cut it it was perfect wow what did you guys think of

that that pepperoni I think it's delicious I mean you know I as a kid was such a vanilla eater was so sort of picky about everything that I was plain cheese only so interesting tombstone was so important to me in my childhood I was only ever having the cheese version so the pepperoni has been a recent discovery for me and I do think they have maybe the best frozen pepperoni in the game it's just there's something about it I agree with you that I would like a little more of the curl I feel like in my mind's eye the tombstones of my youth baked by my mother were crispier and I was trying to achieve that level of crispiness with my weak ass toaster oven so I put it in for an extra five minutes the second pie I had which was the five cheese got it a little bit closer

I do wish I had maybe gone up to 425 in the same way I feel like tombstone is best when the crust is really really sort of almost crackery and the cheese is kind of brown but because I that was how it was prepared for me when I was young because I wasn't having pepperoni at the time I can't even imagine how the pepperoni would taste in those conditions but I still think it's a it's a great pie it's a great topping uh David you like that pep yeah the pep was actually my favorite I feel like you're building up to the maybe the the less is more as you're saying but uh the pep I agree I I also like the little cup pepperoni style you know that curls up and it's got that little kind of like pad of oil in it sometimes like that's great and these pepperoni were more routine but

like frozen pepperoni can be gross and this was not gross at all I find like you know what I mean like sometimes the frozen pepperoni kind of like instantly makes me I don't know makes my stomach like turn upside down this was perfect the sauce is like pretty tangy like I was just really surprised at at how like well balanced the whole thing was because like a bad frozen pizza I feel like there's too much sauce you burn your mouth right away and you're sort of like off to a bad start yeah I will say that and this is a this is this is a bit of advice from the tombstone website they're frequently asked questions why are tombstone pizzas so hot answer tombstone pizza bakes up hot we know this will be tough but let our pizza stand for five minutes before diving

in for a tasty bite so they are recommending you rest the pizza I understand yeah yeah I think you got to do that before you you cut into it don't just eat it right away Nick what we call Freddy Kruegermouth this will cause a real Freddy Kruegermouth situation yes I do like that the tombstone website has empathy for me that they know it will be tough for me to leave it there for five minutes it sure it is the the battle I wage every time another fascinating thing about the tombstone website is that you can rate their pizzas on the website and the pepper the pepperoni is currently at 1.5 out of five stars which I think is pretty low I think what that is is is disappointed customers are going there and they're you know it's the yelp effect we're just the only

the complainers away and that the the enthusiasts aren't doing they but hey if you're out there and you like tombstone maybe uh you know goose that score a little bit what the fuck what that's such an insane like what did you what were you expecting out of a frozen pizza what the hell's going on here oh yeah this is interesting I'm looking at the reviews now they recently updated their flavor I don't taste much of a difference but like all their new branding has like fake yellow text full on flavor and if you look at the low reviews here all of them are why did you change the flavor was great until they quote unquote improved it wow Griffin are you seeing this review that says I'm on bended knee someone says I'm on bended knee someone says I'm desperate I need my old

tombstone back I'm on bended knee here please this is a great one my that's my spoon man underscore whimsy this one says my simple ask change it back I was forced to buy your competitors jacks red baron and dejourno I was desperate this is the bended knee guy this guy's incredible that's the bit yeah wow he's a real poet wow I do say I probably like red baron well we'll get into all that I'm just gonna say I was surprised by the quality of the pizza Nick I think yes I think it's a pretty it's it's and look the thing I remember most about tombstone is what do you want on your tombstone those commercials and I don't really remember having the pizzas I'm sure that I had tombstone pizzas before but I don't really remember having I look I didn't have the

pepperoni and I I always like to judge a pizza based on the cheese but my cheese was pretty good it was it was it was it was a crispy tasty the like the sauce isn't in that category of like sometimes with frozen pizza you get either like too sweet of a sauce or the sauce has like too much of an oregano taste and I thought the sauce on the tombstone was was was really decent it's a nice sauce and I think that that's a huge huge factor in frozen pizza and of course I think cheese honestly is the the the the factor that matters the least with frozen pizza I think it's the crust the sauce and then the cheese but um this and also the the the crust on this guy a little thick it's a little a little bit thicker the bottom of it feels like

like gravelly or it feels like a like a dirt path if you have you if you grab god it wasn't quite my experience did you drop your pizza in your tribe here I've been I've been I've been some hebble pizza I've been playing too much animal bedrock I've been playing too much animal crossing and so I went to a comparison of how it tastes like the ground look it it's it's like clay like it's like a thick bottom nick it's a very thick bottom of the pizza I still don't quite I just doesn't quite track for me like I I did I didn't think it was that thick I I thought it was like a it was like a normal

it's not like pan thick you know it's it's a normal I don't I don't I don't think I just I just feel like at the bottom of it is like it feels cardboard it doesn't it doesn't when you first put it in the oven yes famously gravelly cardboard cardboard is always so bumpy Griffin Griffin you and I were alike and now I'm fucking pissed off wow it's not easy to get not easy to make Mitch mad I said I said I said gravelly and I was wrong I fucked up with gravelly I will say it's it's card it's cardboard-esque it's it's the bottom of it right yes okay the dish the dish or nose type pizza that's more like of a big fat sort of cakey crust I don't like that like

that's not my vibe at all I think crisp is better yeah I think so too I think I kept on thinking while eating these tombstones the thing that the two of you always say but especially Mitch always says and I agree with strongly is that like Taco Bell isn't Mexican food it's Taco Bell it's great for Taco Bell you can't view it as authentic Mexican food and I think what's smart about Tombstone as a company is that I think they do the same thing with their pizza like the cornerstone of the DeGiorno's marketing campaign is this it's not delivery it's DeGiorno's thing which I call fucking bullshit on there is no one who has ever been tricked by a DeGiorno pizza yes DeGiorno has all of the hallmarks of a frozen pizza including the overreaching

like the over ambition of can we make this feel like a pizza from a pizzeria which you will just never achieve in a home oven and I think Tombstone is very smart about a prioritize the sauce like cheese everyone's got cheese cheese freezes well it melts well we'll casually put five cheeses on there but that's not the name of the game the game is put as much flavor into the sauces you can and make that crust as sort of crackery as possible so you get the best advantages of home sort of toasting versus whenever I eat a DeGiorno's which is very rarely it does feel like you're eating like a pizza made on top of like some Pillsbury product you know yes yes bread like versus crust like you want you want you when you're using a pizza cutter you

want to you want to crunch through that that pizza crust and look I'm gonna make I'm gonna I'm I'm gonna make a confession I dropped my pizza in gravel I said yeah but Daba do and I ate the whole thing with the gravel on it the Flintstones only gravel what the fuck am I talking about it would be a weird heightening of the Flintstones where they're like they even eat rocks that's how much they're in the stone age I've been indoors for too long I got a headache why girl what do you want from me all right I'm losing my mind over here okay it's fine you're doing fine I don't know what she's doing in there you're doing fine I the so you mentioned the cheese being simple and it is and and kind of

like beside the you know it's not a it's not a huge thing and you're the way you were prioritizing the ingredients here Mitch but I will say that I think the blend of cheeses the five cheeses they have here mozzarella cheddar parmesan asiago and romano work well and I think they it's got a good cheesy ooey gooey so soft and chewy the cheesy flavor I really enjoy it and I was I was biting them as like I kind of wish this cheese blend was available on like the I'd like to kind of try this with some toppings but as a cheese pizza I think I think it was excellent I'll say this I wasn't I wasn't belittling that cheese of course still matters it's an important thing I just think that so many pizza frozen pizzas you get turned off immediately by like an overpowering sauce and

I think that the sauce is like one of the key ingredients or the sauce sometimes right yeah like I tried elios recently in this quarantine which I hadn't had in a while and that's one for me where I was like this sauce is giving me nothing I feel like I need a grilled cheese I need the sauce to be making its own sort of statement yeah and and and you can get you can get that like cheese that like to barely even melts into covering the pizza you know what I mean like it's just specks of cheese on top of sauce but this cheese is not like that it looks it looks like a real pizza it feels like a real pizza but like Griffin said it's Taco Bell it's not it's not it's Taco Bell is not Mexican food

but it's Taco Bell and it's great and most of all they're doing the calculation of in this case quantity is quality like there is a ceiling to frozen cheese on a frozen pizza so let's throw five of those on and just walk away and it works it works it works well let's get to our final thoughts on tombstone pizza so we will each go around we will give a our summation of our feelings on this brand and then end by giving it a rating from zero to five forks David Sims we'll begin with you okay um I do think part of the joy for this for me is that I don't get to eat enough frozen pizza and so there was a nice little nostalgic kick for that but like we said I mean that the first thing that surprised me nice tangy sauce ingredients perfectly balanced I the the five

cheese I I thought was great but I did I needed a little bit of something extra so the pepperoni was my favorite but I mean the five cheese was like a great basic pie so I don't really have a lot of complaints about tombstone frozen pizza at all it'll be easy to make the packaging is pretty limited so is it crazy for me to go four and a half forks wow four and a half forks for tombstone pizza very high score I mean I'm rating it on a frozen food you know sort of spectrum I guess but I think that's very high I think that's fair all right Griffin Newman go for it so as I said I have a long-standing history with with the frozen pizza sector I feel like I have tried most brands and so I'm really trying to think about where this rates in the grand scale uh unlike

David I I feel like I have a lot of comparison points here and while I was eating and I was asking myself is this the single best frozen pizza on the market and as I started to run through it in my head if we're talking like straight pizza so I would include something like Elios even though it's a weird size but I wouldn't include like bagel bites you know or like Totino's pizza rolls which is maybe my favorite frozen pizza product the only one I could think of that I like more than this is the Newman's own frozen pizza which I think is incredibly good and is one of the few frozen pizzas that can get away with having a couple toppings and having them hold up well tombstone I agree I think you're probably best in a one topping lane so anything that's like a

five meat a supreme I would stay away from but like that hamburger pizza sounds really good classic sausage and the pepperoni is amazing I think it's about as good as you can get for like you know a blue collar frozen pizza and I even think it surpasses a lot of the higher end artisanal frozen pizzas I think it runs laps around like Amy's frozen pizza and I like most of the Amy's line so I think if you're judging it on that scale relative to how good a frozen pizza can be I I gotta give it a 4.75 wow four forks holy time I mean I said is there anything holding it back from a five and in my mind I said I I think it is possible to make one slightly better but it's hard and I should mention I plused up my pizza on this eating when I took it out of the oven

last night the five cheese it had broken off into three weird pieces like I think I got a one that was kind of busted when it was still frozen so the sides came off of it and I'll send this to you guys in the chat but it ended up turning into like a what looked like a big triangular slice of tombstone which was really fun it was like a fun form factor and then what I did was I said like this this big tombstone slice looks like it's begging out for some dipping so I went into my fridge and I of course reclaimed my status on the Doe Boys podcast as the king of crunch wow oh wow an important first round pick for me on my rare quarantine supermarket trips I stocked up on French I dipped that fucking tombstone in the crunch and I would argue that that

is a five forker if you're able to dip your tombstone in some crunch you're looking at a five fork me wow I'm looking at this gigantic slice it's like a it's like a big it's a you guys are new yorkers it's a big new york style slice you gotta fold in half this thing's a monster it was fun I need some coffee green book racism I don't like it I do who knows branch in one hand giant pizza slice in the other I was from New York New York to my wall Tony lip at the at the the you know copa they were always like hey go get some more crunch we're running low Tony Tony lip would have called me a coward for needing to break it off into a slice like that he would just straight fold a tombstone he would unhinge

his jaw it's true hey griffin I think you'd be happy to know that when we were in Cleveland we got a a chant of crunch going I heard that it's true it made me really really happy that's right it was Cleveland correct Nick that sounds right okay well I agree with Drew Carey Cleveland Rocks if they like crunch speaking as the king of crunch and the Duke of frozen foods Cleveland's all right by me I these are these are high numbers my crunch by the way since you recorded with those last day it got tossed I don't know how long crunch is good for you gave me a bottle of crunch which I put in my suitcase and brought back to New York City with me I've gotten crunched several times since we recorded including the bottle I have proudly on my desk

right now dear god it's a great condiment it's good I was worried it was going to be discontinued so I stocked up for a while smart move all right Mitch your thoughts your fork rating I like I said I hadn't uh I hadn't um really experienced tombstones in the past beyond what do you want on your tombstone which the answer for me is Mike Mitchell from 1982 to 2020 hopefully I was I was I walked away from tombstone impressed I like kind of basic I like Celeste still I like Tony's pizzas like I like kind of a basic pizza like that and I feel like this I think Griffin's right that this is kind of like oh it's a working man's frozen pizza but I also

feel like it is a little bit fancier than a Tony's or Celeste it's it's trying a little bit more to be an actual pizza and much larger and much much larger uh that's I broke mine down into four quarter portions oh I said I fucked up the umkar plot line this is how bad my day is going to the nick you're doing fine four quarter persians sucks you're fine don't worry about it no I suck no you're fine no anyway I don't know you can you can just do a review I'm not even going to review it no we want to hear your we want to hear your review everyone wants to hear it come on we want to hear it no once once I fucked up four quarter port oh see I can't say it again

that could be like some sort of umkar plot cat thing I'm trying to I'm trying to help you here I broke it into four quarter portions and then I ate there we go and then I ate each quarter of that portion I ate the whole pizza except for maybe uh like a half of the last slice 1400 calories nick it's uh I wish it I it's a lot for what doesn't seem like a lot you know what I mean like uh like I wish that I wish that it was I wish it was less calories for what I just for what you take down because I think I think most people could take down a tombstone pizza I don't think it's hard I think what you did nick is like I think two pieces if you break it into fours or three is probably filling but uh two I'd maybe if I had two for lunch I feel like

I might still be hungry maybe need a salad or something anyways um I enjoyed it and I was happy that I went with I just for me the the the the way to judge a pizza is with cheese pizza so I was happy that at least that the one that was left was a cheese pizza and from uh from what you guys are saying what what what do you want on your tombstone it sounds like cheese is maybe is the best option overall I think I think so pepperoni's also good I mean I think that I think those are the top two um but yeah nick I was I was I was I was thoroughly surprised I uh I'm gonna I'm not gonna go as high as these guys I'm gonna go with the four four four forks on this guy just a flat four four forks very good score as far as frozen pizza goes you could do way way way worse so

um Mitch I will I think that's a very good I think that's a very good score these are high scores but this is a very good frozen pizza and you to what you were saying is like it's 1400 calories if you eat the whole pizza yes I feel like for an adult with a healthy appetite which we all are one pizza is one serving and I think it's deceptive for them to try to it's it's like when you get a Gatorade bottle and it's like uh two and a half servings are in this like give me a fucking break you know I'm drinking 240 calories for a Gatorade yeah I'm not drinking this over the course of three days no one's splitting a tombstone no one's saving more tombstone for later you're not gonna put it in the fridge yeah yeah yeah this is a this is a dinner for one uh but it's

a fun dinner for one and what you were saying about it being 1400 calories Mitch that's basically I looked it up that's it's in the range of a Chipotle burrito with guacamole and cheese and sour cream and a protein if you load it if you load up your Chipotle burritos a lot of people do you're getting about 1400 calories so it's not like this is some crazy unprecedented you know meal versus some of the other things that that you might be eating putting in your body if you listen to this podcast so I wouldn't I wouldn't go nuts I agree with that I don't I don't I don't think that it's I just wish that it was less calories I mean like I was slightly surprised that it was 1400 calories but it's not that surprising I mean it's a cheese pizza yes uh

supreme is supreme was okay pepperoni was good five cheese was great I think this is a very solid brand I think it's I think it's I think it's really good on the scale of of frozen pizza if that's what we're comparing it to I like to like I like tombstone the name I like the theming I like what do you want on your tombstone I think it's up there with your mama celeste the nice Italian grandmother and your your red baron the world war one uh fighter ace for Germany right weirdly weirdly a pizza mascot but I like that though they have some fun with it DeGiorno's less fun to me tombstone's fun mama celeste is fun Tony the pizza classic pizza chef is fun red baron is fun and tombstone is good it's good quality and I think it belongs

to the golden plate club so four forks triumph for tombstone pizza it's just a good quality frozen pizza nick I think it belongs in the the frozen plate club wow the frozen plate club canonically established for the first time in this episode oh my god I'm part of history oh my god so frozen first member of the frozen plate club tombstone pizza we'll see if anything else gets in over the course of doboy's topical freeze that was our review of tombstone pizza it's time for a segment mitch we did this for the first time a couple weeks ago with our friend gendangelo I've got a food-related survey and mitch and david and griffin will compete to guess the results it's time to play the family food the theme song for the family food the richard carnera family you're putting up

you're putting up the answers okay okay I'll take that I'll take that I'll stop sharing my screen I'll put this in a different tab immediately share the answers yeah I read three answers before I realized all right well this is going to be a little bit of a a fraudulent exercise that's all right we can fix this okay no we can't no this will be fine did you guys see all the answers I saw I clocked at least two okay here's what I'm going to do I am going to as we're doing this I am going to find some different answers that still fit the category you're making a new segment on the flight look I'll give you I'll give you a second here the survey you got is what best food movies of all time yes and I am going to instead of you doing the top seven answers

which you guys have seen some of now because I accidentally shared my screen I'm going to do answers eight through 14 oh the more niche ones okay the more yes so the answers eight through 14 if it's if it's one through seven you don't get credit for it but if it's eight through 14 as voted by fans on rancor.com of best food movies and they define food movies as movies that feature food and dining as a central theme and I would I would just say this is a hint recency bias is a big thing with these kind of surveys so you will get a guess is number eight is number eight ratatouille no well is that your first guess no because I saw ratatouille on your screen but I said I'm changing that that was number one I'm changing the game ratatouille

was number one ratatouille is number one I said recency bias is a big thing dear god all right so tops top food movies we're going to go with eight through 14 eight through 14 see if you can guess them um and uh let's start with Mitch let's start with you well this is probably in the higher level but maybe it will because recency uh recency biasing oh god recency biasing I know I know it's just not working for me today some days it just doesn't work some days it's hard to form words I know I can relate to that look for the for the double I was you know I was knocking out of the park barry bonds now I'm fucking tim tebow over here playing baseball to be clear um I I'm gonna go with good fellas nick I didn't see if it was in the

top seven I'm hoping because of uh because these are kind of weirder choices it will fall down to the eight through 14 range okay Mitch's answer is good fellas is it on the board survey says wow not on the board not on the board all right you don't have to ask me twice I didn't mean to do that hey quick they're gonna they're gonna play the theme song all right could you cancel it in time okay there we go uh Mitch you get it you have your first of three strikes by to be clear you get it's whoever gets the most correct without collecting three strikes if you get three strikes you're out nick I want to quickly say that we we need to discuss two things one yes Commissioner Susser ran into David at Sundance that's right and he wants me to bring it up for for some reason

okay uh yeah yes is that it is that he just wanted me to bring up the fact that you ran into him at Sundance I guess so um uh yeah we uh I can't remember I guess he just goes to Sundance with his family I think that's why he was there I think he had some pals in movies there but uh yeah we we ran into Sundance into each other at Sundance and we uh had a very nice conversation in the library uh which is the best place to get food at Sundance if you're ever at the film festival they have the best sandwiches they're kind of a secret go to the library um and uh it was great great to meet the commish very exciting you saw Susser at the fucking the best place to get food at the festival we had just seen a Palm Springs the the Andy Sandberg movie that was the hit of the

festival wow wow um I made you have one strike I also just wanted to bring up there is a thing we have to discuss before this episode ends and it is what is better Tombstone the pizza or Tombstone the movie but let's keep going on with this with this uh game well we'll do that at the end okay okay Griffin you're up top seven answers I believe that's correct of the sorry where the answers we're looking for are eight through 14 the eight through 14th most popular food movies as voted on by Ranker what is your guess so the two that I clocked clearly when you were screen sharing the ratatouille at number one and then I believe I saw Charlie and the chocolate factory up there but I'm not asking you to tell me whether that's correct or incorrect so part of me is curious

whether it was that one or Willy Wonka and if that's the case where they counted as separate entries is one of them lower down on the list I'm gonna try to think as you said recently bias if this is ranker I think they might have put a canonical classic food movie lower than most critics list would so I'm gonna go out on a limb even though it deserves to be higher and guess that big night great movie was below number eight big night mm-hmm is your guess my guess all right is the Stanley Tucci Campbell's got movie big night amazing movie survey says big night actually higher on the list it's number seven all right night people still like people yeah that's a that's a that's a great movie one of the best food movies and I was only off by one

great scrambled eggs at the end he makes love that scene at the end whatever a little scene little heartbreaking scene yeah uh David your guess all right I'm going for just I'm just gonna try to guess a recent mediocre food film so I am going for John Favreau's chef John Favreau's chef I thought it would be higher David's guess it might be high it says unfortunately chef is way up there yeah ranked number three 2014's John Favreau movie chef where he has a uh a love triangle with Sophia Vergara and Scarlett Johansson that is accurate both can keep their hands off of John Favreau where's got those Cubanos he's got a truck and one of one of Griffin's favorite impressions that he's probably done on blank check 10 times is John Favreau talking about

Cubanos in chef my impression is just saying you gotta try these Cubanos all right everyone has one strike so far no answers are off the board this would have been so much better if I hadn't shared my screen I messed up I think I well I think it's way better that we have to guess like okay food movies all right Mitch your Mitch your guess something eight eight through 14 on the list of of best food movies Nick I'm gonna go with Harold and Kumar go to White Castle good answer survey says Harold and Kumar goes to White Castle wasn't in the top 14 my feeling is that their criteria seemed to be pretty strict where dining had to be a central theme and I think that they're

probably Harold it's a more of a road movie where they have a they have a food-based destination but it's not all about eating is fucking bull okay take it up with a rancor uh all right Griffin you're fucking more like more like Stanker the site fucking sucks okay so I'm trying to go like really middling like I'm trying to think of what are don't take my pick Griffin of the last 15 years I don't want to just kind of banal enough but are totally restaurant-based I'm gonna guess the Catherine Zeta Jones film No Reservations No Reservations survey says was that your pick no it wasn't I'm but I although I had that one I was thinking about that one

number eight answer so the number one one on our board no reservations I just squeaked it in there just ZJ Eckhart wow dream team she complained the the critic complains about their steak not being rare enough from the director of shine yeah oh that's this director of shine yeah wow okay all right David your turn all right my guess uh similarly mediocre maybe this is even this one is too famous for this list but I'm going with burnt Bradley Cooper in burnt okay show me burnt yeah burnt not on there not on there well wow that's actually rude to burnt even though burnt burnt all the way down at 21 on this list so yeah I guess that fell out of the collective consciousness pretty quick all right Mitch you have two strikes I know Nick I'm nervous here

I'm gonna go I hope that it helps me out here I'm going with diner great move Mitch's guess diner survey says oh fuck you yeah I think I like diner great movie Barry Levinson's first movie is that it reacted that yeah yeah I'm I like diner but I think I think I think people have kind of I think it's either people have forgotten about it even though it is very good or I think it maybe is just not again doesn't have dining as a central theme they just kind of go to this diner but they're going around I'm fucking knocked out you struck out of the competition wow mm-hmm like in baseball three strikes means you're out and like in bowling it means you're a turkey so sorry Mitch Griffin your guess okay I'm gonna take a swing here because I'm thinking about the fact that I

saw a chocolate factory up there which is not like a dining movie but is a movie that is very explicitly about food I'm going to guess the animated film cloudy with a chance of meatballs that's good a lot of food show me cloudy with a chance of meatballs not on the list at all my fear was it would be too high wow no I think it's not I you know what again I think they just have very weird criteria for food movies you've collected your second strike Nick I've got the list open now and cloudy with a chance of meatballs is actually 28th oh it's all the way down at 28 okay rude that's too low yep I feel like people just aren't seeing it on the list this list is weird oh and by the way this list sucks yeah it sucks but family feud

list sucks that's the whole thing those lists suck yeah America is much better than this yes 100 people you get bad lists you get dumb answers all right David your guess all right I'm going for a recent movie definitely about food that's maybe like slightly already enough to not make the tops five or so Jiro dreams of sushi the the documentary show me Jiro dreams of sushi yes you got one number 12 answer Jiro dreams of sushi in there all right Mitch is out Griffin you have two strikes and one correct answer so David and I are dead tied here you're both tied this is the make or break it round okay I mean Jiro is an interesting line of thinking because it's like what would make a higher placement on a intelligent person's list

might make the second rung on a rancor list thinking about the great food movies hmm also remember this list sucks yeah I know that's what that's what's tough the mental exercise of like what would I pick let me put myself in the right exactly what would be my hella basic choice you know what no guts no glory I'm gonna take a big swing here because this is the make it or break it round I believe that I saw Willy Wonka in the chocolate factory in the top three so I'm going to guess that separately Charlie and the chocolate factory placed lower show me Charlie and the chocolate factory wow that was bold answer wow I mean where it belongs I had to take a swing

David you have two strikes one correct answer okay um is a fast food podcast and so I'm gonna pick one of the best fast food movies I'm gonna say good burger show me good burger yeah number 10 and keenan number 10 all right you guys have four correct three more answers are on the board wow you each have two strikes good burger was the one I had in my back pocket so now I took it from you I know I can't believe I didn't say good burger to him it's the best fast food movie my worry was with rancor maybe that's number two okay I'm trying to think of a movie that rancor would put a high up there so you got to assume

john dealman is not in the running sure tampo po is not in the running yeah like water for chocolate right no criterion crossover with rancor I would think but is there another like giro dreams of sushi ask fuck you know what you know what I I may be showing myself here I just said that I think there's no criterion overlap but I'm gonna do this I am going to guess my dinner with Andre oh that's good classic dinner movie my dinner with Andre reviewed on the dole boys double the episode my dinner with wyger is it on the list not on the list trash yeah good dinner moving I mean it was it was it was a good answer I mean it was a very good answer it was a better answer than what's on here all right griffin you have been eliminated this will decide David whether

you two whether the the the host of blank check tie or if David wins outright okay if you can get a correct answer I'm gonna go already as well movie we've covered on the show I feel like it's famous enough that it might have made it in that area they're gonna pick anglies eat drink man woman show me eat drink man woman ah yes god david sims you win the family food thank you so much ah like the theme gets a little country like honky tonk there yeah banjo gets going it's a fun remix hold on a second I want to talk about how bad that list sucked I almost picked

tortilla soup the remake of eat drink man woman because I thought but I decided to go the original so the top seven that originally ratatouille willy wonka chef julian julia I feel dumb for not getting that one that should have been a gimme which one julian julia yeah princess and the frog and big night those are the top seven princess and the frog princess and the frog add the ones you didn't get in 814 I like that movie it's not really a food movie well she wants to start a restaurant yeah but she doesn't actually do it until like right at the end that's insane the 2014 helen miran film the hundred foot journey oh wow which I don't remember that's at number that's at number 11 and at number 13 babette's feast yeah another arty one I thought

that was too arty to even guess some arty ones made it into the top 20 but not really into the top 10 um admit you have any other entries you take particular issue with I mean I just think that like uh to me good fellas is more of a more of like a food movie than some of these other movies like uh like the the idea of just like even like making food and like chopping garlic and stuff like that that to me is more foody than some of the answers on there but you know the list was bad and I did bad at the game so what do you want from me I'm looking here my dinner with Andre is all the way down at 39 wow I didn't even know the list went that far that's just insane it is ranked number 21 on a list of the 28 best movies where nothing really

happens wait it didn't even make the top 10 of that I know what the hell it is number 341 of the funniest 80s movies reservoir dogs is number four on that list and everyone in that movie is murdered like things happen in so much shit happens in that weird list weird listen ranker hey just like a restaurant value feedback let's open up the feedback today's email comes from Jake Kaminsky Jake writes a pizza place with several locations in LA called lucifers offers a spicy pie called the ring burner I believe the ring in question is the eater's butthole this makes me not want to eat this pizza what are some other gross names for menu items so gross names for menu items is the question didn't we just have something similar to this didn't we say like

kumquats and shit no we were talking about funny food names oh kumquats is funny yeah funny yeah it's also also kind of gross it is kind of gross because it sounds like kum I think the ring burner is disgusting I don't think I've ever encountered anything that vile that's really gross lucifer's pizza is not bad for for an LA delivery place I've had lucifer lucifer's is lucifer's is good yeah it's it's but I mean just like that that item name is pretty oh I don't like that at all I don't want to think about a butthole yeah I'm not a millennial I don't order up the fucking I don't I want to think about a butthole while I'm eating food um I I have an answer I want to say in advance please don't cancel me this will sound like me making a very tasteless joke but this is in fact

the real menu item I have come across uh there is a deli in New York City like a classic Jewish deli that's open 24 hours called sarge's delit katesen that I love in general but they still in the year 2020 have a sandwich on their menu that is called the bill cosby oh no that alone is like okay maybe a little bit out of the times what have you I want to read to you what the bill cosby is because this is what pushes it over the edge to feeling deliberately disgusting the bill cosby is give me one second here Sarge's burgers uh yes okay the the bill cosby is a cheeseburger topped with a grilled sliced hot dog so it is literally a weiner shoved in between two buns unnaturally oh boy dear every time I see it on the menu it feels like it's

describing an attack that's awful god that's that it's literally just a weiner snuck in to a dish where it doesn't belong and I don't know I'd eat that it sounds okay call it something else and I eat it oh sure call it the Bob Saget and I'd order two you'd have a full house I'm sorry I hope this doesn't get me in trouble but um I've uh I've I'm postmitting a bill cosby sandwich right now um look there's a couple things but it's tough because some of them I don't like like I don't really like head cheese that much and and and that's also kind of like a weird sounding gross one anyways um for me Nick I think I think the one that I like like like blood sausage is weird yeah that sounds gross like blood sausage kind of sounds and I like it yeah I like blood

sausage a lot but the the name is kind of sounds kind of gross I do that that's a big UK dish right David yes it is oh you would know they call it black pudding there often if you know they mix it up with some oatmeal make it so it's really really good classic breakfast item know about that is have we this is the third time on this podcast alone that you're trying this I feel like the you know what the one that always to me sounded like a adjacent to like a rusty trombone is sloppy joe it's just like yeah I always makes me feel a little like oh I like I like sloppy joes but it just and similarly man witch also just is like the loose meat inside a bun the the names for them I guess it looks gross so they come up with gross sounding names but I just

don't I find the names unpleasant to say are here allowed deviled eggs you know that's kind of scary uh I don't mind that I'm not I'm not afraid of the devil you'll walk on the wild side man which particularly grosses me out it also it isn't a menu item but it is it's a restaurant name here in New York City there is a place called the big booty breadco oh boy and their logo is like a dude pulling bread out of the oven and sticking his tush in your face oh my god and it just always seemed like don't make me think about anyone's butt while I'm eating bread I don't care how handsome this man is and he's a good looking man don't make me think about a tush millennial see that sign they start licking their lips I think you know I'm googling some

stuff but like yeah I guess like ox tail does kind of sound weird tripe I don't know there's a lot there's a lot of there's a lot of gross sounding yeah there's the British um the the British meal toad in the hole which is basically delicious it's like sausages and batter like you know in like pastry batter but uh sounds bad that's a great one yeah that sounds bad I will say I like I I do like tripe in some context but there's a there's a honeycomb tripe which is specifically refers to a cross section of it and that combination of words I find repulsive for whatever reason but yeah bangers bangers and mash sounds like someone fucked your mashed potatoes uh hey let us know what food what food names gross you out yeah spotted dick we didn't even say

but that's that's also very funny that's just like a funny thing to say I think I think that we did we mentioned that as one of our funny names also one of our funny names a rare isn't isn't rare bit like the uh like bread with cheese on it basically well rare bit I think that name sounds appetizing I think it's cute on a menu I think it's adorable that name is a neg though Rocky Mount Noisters are weird I mean but also they're not that delicious well the thing with Rocky Mount Noisters is like once you know what it is that's what's gross about it I don't think the name itself is inherently gross I think yeah this is the line to walk is like what's something that you hear and you're just like maybe the food you even like but just hearing the the phrase you don't like

the last one I saw online here is ladyfingers was another one hmm I I think that's fine Nick for you there's like her licked his lips when you said can I also just offer a quick counter a counterpoint you said that the big booty bread code must be popular with millennials I think it's too tame for them I think if they want that younger market they should rename themselves the rim job bread company that would pull in the kids off the street they need a shorter walk and weger before we wrap up we need to find out what's better tombstone pizza or the movie tombstone yes let us know we're your food foods that gross us out hashtag crude food dude and then we will decide or render our verdict or do that or do that do we

prefer tombstone the movie or tombstone the pizza I think tombstone the movie edges it out just slightly I think I'd rather re-watch tombstone the movie than eat tombstone pizza tombstone the pizza assuming I had another food source uh I'd rather here's here's here's the way I say it I would you rather eat a tombstone while watching another movie or rather eat something else while watching the movie tombstone I would choose to eat something else while watching the movie tombstone of those options what do you guys think I will almost undoubtedly eat another tombstone within the next seven days and I'll be watching something else uh so that's my clear answer I do think of it in the way that you guys usually try to frame things which is like how does tombstone compare

to other frozen pizzas and how does tombstone compare to other westerns and I think tombstone the pizza is a little higher up on that relative scale within its its genre than tombstone the movie is and and also none of us got to try the garlic bread varietal which to me sounds like the one thing that could push it over the edge into the platinum play club without crotch they're getting some assist from crotch right now right um David what do you think yeah I I'm a professional film critic I feel like I gotta pick tombstone the movie uh just just to stick up for cinema you know in its hour of need I do love I enjoyed eating the frozen pizza it was great I liked it I was very happy about it but come on come on tombstone the movie well I'm an unprofessional frozen pizza critic

sticking up for my chosen art form at a time where it needs no help all right spoon man what do you think um tombstone the movie is not my huckleberry my huckleberry is tombstone the pizza I go just narrowly beats out the movie um though I like both they're both good they're both around they're both almost equal it's a weird thing we found out with these this movie and the pizza kind of on the same level they're on the same level I would agree with that they're like enjoyable trash they're like high level trash yeah yeah yeah wow for for Mitch tombstone is down there at the creek walking all water in the words of doc holiday an even more famous line from the movie I wanted to say that line in the double and I forgot I've you have a question or comment

about the world of chain restaurants you email us at dubois podcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 go to that's 830 463 6844 and to get the no boys double where we do things like part one of tombstone week our weekly bonus episode join the goldman platinum play club at patreon.com slash dough boys david sims griffin newman the podcast is blank check tell us about it and anything else you would like to promote at this time go ahead griffin no I'm taking it oh boy I it's a podcast well we like to say it's a podcast about filmographies it's people who get blank check status because of a big hit and get to make whatever crazy things they want so we pick a director and we go through all of their movies one week one episode at a time yeah so right now we're doing

George Miller which is a pretty wild career because he got four Mad Max's and then three talking animal movies which movie and a medical drama and then on our patreon we do like commentaries of franchises and coming up very soon weigur we are covering a movie that both you and I have cited uh gun to our heads as perhaps our favorite movie of all time Toy Story 2 wow wow that's huge that's my go to answer for my number one favorite movie so I I felt a lot of pride when you said the same yeah there's something about that second entry that really it just like gets everything right it's just a perfect movie it's a perfect movie yeah um wow we'll check that out check out blank check and hey that'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys until next time for the spoon man

Mike Mitchell I'm nick weigur we'll see you next time on Doe Boys Topical Freeze until then happy eating see ya buy some crunch on the next Doe Boys Double you've heard of steak outs but a steak in guest Cody Ziegler joins to discuss that special occasion sliced beef product we know and love the steaks couldn't be higher or tastier get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Doe Boys sources for this week's intro are available in the episode description that was a hate gun podcast