Doughboys - Top Round Roast Beef with Ike Barinholtz

Episode Date: November 8, 2018

The hilarious Ike Barinholtz (The Mindy Project, The Oath) joins us to review a chain specializing in old school roast beef sandwiches: Top Round Roast Beef. Plus, a lengthy discussion of vulgar experiences and the debut of an all new segment, Mike and Ike's Sick and Twisted Festival of Candymation.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The literary remains of John Byram, dating to 1725, contains the first recorded reference to a dish called the Welsh Rabbit. The dish has many variants, but is most broadly a cheese sauce poured over toast, speculated to have originated in Wales centuries earlier, where it entrenched itself as a beloved comfort food for the peasant class. By the end of the 18th century, the name Welsh Rabbit was transfused into Welsh rarebit, perhaps a quirk of local accents, perhaps a comment on the absence of any rabbit meat in the dish, and the gooey cheesy toast had become a pub food staple, a low-cost sponge

to soak up tankards of ale. But despite its simple ingredients, properly preparing the cheese sauce remained a labor-intensive process and in the mid-20th century, when a booming post-war economy and innovations in chemistry led to an explosion in food science, Edward Traseman of the Kraft Corporation developed a mass-producible jarred replica called Cheese Whiz. As with Welsh Rabbit distorting into rarebit, cheese was spelled with a Z because it didn't contain any actual cheese, instead a mixture of milk, protein, and canola oil. Released in 1953, Cheese Whiz became an instant hit in the UK as a heat-and-serve substitute

for the rarebit's traditional bechamel or ale-based sauce, and Kraft took their whiz to the States a year later. Americans characteristically developed an affinity to the gooey cheese-like substance and the many rip-offs it would inspire, and whiz found its most popular uses as part of a sandwich invented in Philadelphia in the 1930s, the cheese steak. Originally, the cheese in question was provolone, which purists still claim is the correct choice, but cheese whiz or wit whiz in the local parlance quickly became the most popular topping for the meat on a roll sand-dough.

In the 1970s, fast-food chain Arby's introduced the beef and cheddar, a filly-cheese steak adjacent sandwich featuring roast beef topped with cheese sauce on an onion roll. It remains one of their most popular items, and in 2013, when a quartet of fine dining chefs and restaurant tours united to open a fast-food joint in a closed donut shop on Los Angeles' La Brea Boulevard, its flagship product was a classed-up beef and cheddar. The spot became a hit with a foodie sort for its chef-driven fare, and with a local community for its budget-friendly menu, and today it's expanded in Northern California, Kentucky, and Texas.

And the sauce on its beef and cheddar clone? Unlike the lab-made Kraft product invented to streamline the Welsh rarebit, each batch of their house-made whiz sauce contains 15 pounds of real cheese. This week on Doughboys, top round roast beef. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Heavy Chase, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Heavy Chase. Like Chevy Chase, minus the C, and it becomes a weight joke about you.

I'm Brian Fernandez, who sent along a very nice personal note along with it, thanks for sharing that, Brian. And if you have a roast you'd like to use on Mitch at the Doughboys show, roastspoonman at gmail.com is the address. It's cool because Chevy Chase is such a guy you'd want to be. Normally. Oh, well, a guy who is well-liked behind the scenes. Normally, yeah.

One of the coolest guys in all of comedy. Well, thanks. Thanks for that. What's his name? Brian Fernandez. Fuck you, Brian Fernandez. You, like, poured his heart out in the e-mail. Did you really?

Send that to the fucking trash bin. I liked it, Brian. Nick, how are you doing? I'm doing okay. Yeah. Yeah, we got, we got, this is, we're recording this pre-election. This is coming out two days after the election, so people are either going to be in a good mood listening to this, or they're trying to escape hell-earth by listening to our voices.

So whatever state America is currently in, I hope you're hanging in there. Last time you did this, it turned out bad, if you remember. We pre-recorded with our buddy Demi, and I took a big swing, I just said, Hillary is president now, we recorded like just before 2016, and then it came, and then we didn't edit it out. It just came out like as is, and then people were like re-traumatized. It was a big whiff. You fucked up bad.

I fucked up really bad. There's also another podcast too. There's another episode of the show where someone is telling me, I think it actually was Nicole is telling me, it's like, I think Trump might win. And I was like, there's no fucking way, like kind of like batting her down. And it's like, oh, she was completely right. I was, I was the one who was naive. You're wrong a lot.

Yeah, I'm wrong a lot. I just admitted to instances when I was wrong. Hey, you know what? A moment where I was wrong, the guest who, who, who came, and when we were in Portland touring. Yes. She's very nice. She told me she messaged up to me.

She listened to that episode and said, Mitch, you were the one who brought up Harris to tell that story. So I had to make that clear anyways, Nick, I should play a drop, huh? Go for it. Here we go. Go for it. Bart. Go out for the long bomb.

Okay, dad. Atta boy, Bart. Catch this one and I'll buy you all chocolate milkshakes. Catch this one and we all get chocolate milkshakes. Come on, Bart. Catch the ball so we can all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes. Yeah, Bart. This is just kind of nice.

Bart, you're not touching your milkshake. So I can't place the, the, the track. It's a Nobuo Imaatsu, I'm pretty sure it's from one of the final fantasies. I don't, I don't, it, it sounded, I got it. I wanted to say it was seven, but then it sounded almost just a little more like a 16 bit midi. It might be something from six, but definitely he scored some season one homer to final, to final fantasy music.

You, my friend, are a loser. It doesn't even sound like Dan Castellanetta. Sounds like Dan Hedaya. I don't know. I don't know if it does, but it, it, it, it sounds like our impression of him. Yeah, it does. It sounds like someone doing an impression of home Dan Castellanetta. Homer is like a hard voice to do.

Yeah. And then, but, but that, like I can do that voice. That's easy to do. Have you guys, did you guys ever, I only saw the trailer for it, but the Simpsons porn parody that's the, I wrote it. You wrote it. I did. Oh wow.

That's amazing. I did a room on it. Oh, okay. I was a writer's room, but it was, it, it was my pitch that a poo fuck Mrs. Krabapal. Unexpected combo. Yeah. People, a lot of people didn't like it, but you know, some people did and you got to try. You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't make.

Yeah. Kobe Bryant. Yeah. The insane thing about that beyond like, beyond the detail I'm going to, I'm going to say is that the, there's a big thing in it with McBain's wife. Oh yeah. It's like not even like a Simpsons character. I couldn't even tell you what she looks like.

There's so many female Simpsons characters and they just excluded all of them to throw in Cookie Kwan. Uh-huh. And, and it's Marge Cookie Kwan and, and McBain's wife who's new for the, the parody, but the, but the, the Homer impression they have for the porn parody is so good. It's like the best Homer impression I've ever heard. It sounds like Dan Castellaneta. Wow.

Is it Dan Castellaneta? It might be. It could be. Mitch, who gave us that drop? That was from John Pernis, Pernisic. I don't know how to say his name. Inspired by the love of two men for a man who loves frosty chocolate milkshakes, XOXO, John Pernisic.

Pernisic? What do you think I got? Pernisic. Pernisic. Pernisic. Pernisic. Uh, let us know which final fantasy track that was, hashtag, final fast, uh, final fantasy blank.

Uh, and you fill in the blank. Um, hey, uh, uh, let's introduce our guest who's, who's been chiming in here from the Mindy Project and Blockers. He also wrote, directed and stars in The Oath, which is in theaters now, Ike Baronholz. Hi, Ike. I was, I started talking. You didn't even introduce me. That's great.

How fucking rude is that? No, that's good. We like that. Not at all. I should go. No, please don't. I'm sorry. Please.

We can't. Very disappointed listeners. How are you guys? Thank you for having me. Thank you. Thank you for being here. I came home and I came over and it looked like Mitch was about a body slam his cat. His cat was going crazy.

He's like, I'm sorry. Come in. This is my cat. I, I answered the door with Irma under my arm and she was, and she's, she's very loud. She's loud. I've, you know, if you haven't seen that, have you never seen me with the cat before? Seems like I'm kind of wrestling with her, but she's very, she's saying hello. That's all it was.

That's all it was. Admit it. You were wearing a bib with her face on it. Probably going to seal the deal. Seal the deal. Jesus. He wanted to eat that cat since day one. I haven't seen this Simpsons porn parody.

Should I? Wait, hold on. Is it a cartoon or is it like actual people? It's live action and it's again, I've only seen the trailer, uh, which, uh, but they're, they have yellow body paint. So it's, it's like real people with, I assume it was, it's really, it's like weird look. At least it's better than, uh, sometimes I've seen, uh, clips of like, uh, family guy porn, but it's like the animation.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You know how depraved you have to be to take a beautiful show like family guy and sully it with a bunch of fucking. Yeah. That there, there's certain, I mean, look, hentai is fine, but there's certain anime. I don't know if it is. I remember hentai is not fine, but I do think the, uh, like there's certain characters that

I see in a, in a, if you see in a porn context, I'm just like, God, that's so like, stay away from that. I have little daughters and some, one of them just likes to look at like, I will Google image Disney princess and like the first like 50 are like normal princesses, but then there's always one of like, uh, Mulan getting fucked or something and it's awful and I'm just like, I think like people that like put those on the internet should spend their lives in a gulag because it's, it's, it's unacceptable. It's like, it's, it's so dark.

It's so I think they're fucked up. Have I screen grabbed that like maybe Marge sucking millhouse's dick and send it to Nick before I may have done that one. You're doing that for a bit with a friend. It's fine. That's what they're for. Oh, Matt's so disturbing. Sucking millhouse's dick.

First of all, it's her son's friend. Second, he's a nerd. He's such a nerd. That's the worst part. That's my, that's my big problem with it. I fucking hate milf nerd porn. It's so gross. I, I made it as a vision though.

I, uh, I recently saw some pornography. The pornography now is I feel like 90% incest based and I think it's fucking gross and wrong. Yeah, there's a lot. That's, that's the kink of in the zeitgeist for some reason. I don't know why. The zeitgeist is bad. Yeah. It's weird.

Bad zeitgeist. I think it just aligns with the rest of the, you know, the world is in a pretty... Yeah. We're in hell. So I guess we should be jacking off to gross things. I mean, we were just listening to Final Fantasy music. It's almost like we're in the world of ruin. I don't know God.

I don't know Final Fantasy. You can't. You can leave if you would like to. That sucks. Yeah. I think there's just, I think I have no, how do you do that for what the 15 people online? We're going to say that rule. There's 15 total dork wads who are going to be creaming their jeans when they hear that

I'm getting blown by Marge Simpson. I think there's just like such an abundance of porn that the depravity gets more specific, right? That's the only thing I can think of. That's so true. And the accessibility is so easy. Right. Like I remember when I wanted to look at a naked woman when I was a boy, I would have

to wait. My upstairs neighbor worked for Playboy. Wow. And he had every issue of Playboy. Wow. And I would have to like wait until he would go out of town so I could feed his cats. And then I would go and like look at the Playboys and like burn them in my brain. And like that was what I had to go through.

It was like, it was very, it was like, it just was impossible to see it otherwise. And now it's just like, you can, you can just weed this up and look at fucking, I don't know, the Marge Simpson sisters getting Bukaki. I mean, Selma I can buy, but Patty. Patty would never go for that. She would not do that. She would not do that. Yeah.

Similarly, like I had, I had access to a pornographic magazine as a kid and I was, I took some scissors and like cut out two like little squares of just individual images that I just like hid in my drawer. Two pictures of naked ladies that I could look at like, and that was it. That was my entire stash. Did you guys have any friends whose dads had a porno hanging around? I had a friend who his dad had the Spice Channel. Okay.

Wow. That's big. Yeah. That was insane. My friend Reed, we got Jack in the Box and watched the Spice Channel. It was probably the best day of my childhood. That's pretty good for a kid. I had a friend who his dad had Playboys at first, but then he started having a penthouse

and hustler. Oh yeah. And the difference when you're like 10 and seeing Playboy and like hustler is like frigging night and day. I mean Playboy, it's like, oh, wow, look up there's Bush. Yeah. But like hustlers like, oh, this woman is like urinating on a mirror. Yeah.

It's really, it was really irresponsible for him to have that around. I saw like internet, I think like internet stuff first and I saw some crazy things when I was younger. Yeah. It's not good. It was, yeah. It was strange. I saw stuff over the, I shouldn't say, I mean, my dad's dead.

So that's fine. I'm sorry to hear that for my mom's sake. But I remember I found like lollipop condoms. My dad's draw. They were lollipop flavored. They were like, there was like a lollipop stick and it was a lollipop and I was like, little fucking Jesus Christ. Your mom wouldn't be embarrassed by that.

She's fine with you sharing that. I mean, I'm sure that you probably said no. I mean, they don't even use condoms as Mike. Well, God, I don't want to think about this Nick. Your dad was just using them when he wanted to experiment and suck himself off. My dad's not like you, my friend. All right. This guy hardcore real fast.

Really, really starting very, very explicit. I've told this story on the, on the podcast before my dad was out of town. Did I ever tell this story? Sure. My dad was out of town. I think I told the story. And then this, there was a cop who this guy, Mr. Maddox and his son was in my class. I'm saying too many names, but at least you don't have the last name.

He drove me home from middle school and my dad was on a work, a work trip. And I remember I pulled up to my house and my dad's car was back and he over the speaker was like, like, like see you later, Mike or whatever. And I think that gave my parents enough time. And I walked into the front door and I saw my dad at the top of the stairways running to the bathroom with a boner. Yeah, you have told this at least to me before. And I, yeah, I went downstairs and played Earthworm Jim.

I think I have to. I've told, I've told this embarrassing story before. And I remember being like, hmm, that's big, bigger than it doesn't run in the family. Apparently. That might just be a kid's perception of an adult man's dick. Okay. All right. I trust you on that.

I trust your own self-assessment. I've told this story on the pot before, but when I was, when I was eight, I was over at my friend's house and he had an older brother and his friend were also there and his parents went to a dinner party next door. So it was just the four kids. And this family was super-duper Christian, like in say, like, you know, super, they took me to a, an anti-Halloween, like, no, no, no, no costumes allowed thing before, like for Halloween one year, super-duper Christian.

So they leave. And I thought we were just going to watch pro wrestling or, or MTV raps or whatever. And the, the older kids go, all right, let's go get dad's stash. And they rush over, rush into his room, come out with VHS tapes and put them in the VCR. And this is my first experience seeing pornography. I'm eight years old. I've never seen it before. Everyone else there, clearly this is old hat to them.

They've seen dad's porn and we're watching it. And it's mostly like, there's some straight stuff, but it's mostly like guy on guy. There's a lot of like guy on guy stuff. That was dad's stash? This was dad's stash. A lot of guy on guy stash. And the, the other kids, the older kids were just, they'd get to like a guy on guy scene or a guy on guy on guy scene.

And they'd be like, oh man, this is a bad one. And they like fast forward it and try to get to a straight scene. And there was a point in the night where they got frustrated. I was like, man, dad's got so many bad ones on here. Bad ones. Just all bad ones. Dad didn't think they were bad ones, right? Possibly.

Those were, those were dad's selects. Imagine if dad was frustrated in the same way, like God damn it. Ah, take six hours of cinematics. It's mostly bad ones. Now, Nick. Yeah. Name them. Name the family.

Give the family name when they're at home address. I'm not going to name the family, but I will say that like years later, because I, we were friends through elementary school. And then we went to different middle schools, different high schools. And years later in high school, I was on the bus with a mutual friend who still kept in touch with him. And he's like, did you hear what happened to this kid? And I was like, no, he's like, he's a skinhead now.

Oh, man. Which is crazy. Oh, Jesus. Yikes. It really took a dark turn. Yeah. It's really scary. One time, I shouldn't say this, but it's so long ago.

I remember I had to sleep over with a friend of mine one time and I woke up and we had a dog in the house. Welsh corgis. Oh, very cool. Really cute dog. It's a great dog. And he was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, like 10 ago, what are you fucking doing?

He's like, ah, no, he was kidding. I was kidding. He was like, the dog's dick. No. The dog was looking. Oh, his dick. Yeah. You like got him to do it.

It would be much better. Sorry. That's that. That makes way more sense. That's such a better story. No. He was, he was getting his own penis licked by a dog. That's insane.

But it wasn't like he was asleep and his big fella on the dog was like, ah, it was like he was like, he nurtured this relationship. Yeah. He was making it happen. I would honestly would buy the I'm just kidding excuse more if he was sucking off the dog because that seems more like a fit. That's like on the Sopranos. Remember on the Sopranos?

Vito was. Yeah. Yeah. That's like on the Sopranos. Remember on the Sopranos? Vito was he was the guy who ended up gay. Oh yeah. He's got like a leather bar and a bunch of mobsters come in to shake them down and he

sees them and goes, what the fuck are you doing here? And he goes, it's a goof. That man that show is the best. It was the best show there ever was. I think it was the best show that ever was. It really was a dog bit my dick before. Yeah. Yeah.

I know this. It was the best show and broke skin and it was bad. Holy shit. What was it? Who's dog? I won't say. Don't say. I can't say who's dog it was.

Can I just say that that I was this was though I learned about this via a group text and we're just where it's a random night and we're just having some conversation and Mitch out of the blue text, a dog bit my dick and then doesn't text an update for like three hours. I was dealing with the dog. We're like, what the fuck give us some closure on this anecdote. So you were hanging out with Christopher Plummer? What's that? I don't know.

What's the story? It's got to be something cool. I was, I was, I was, I was in a bed. This is a, this is a long, this is a long while ago now. I was in a bed and I was naked in the stock. I was, I was dating someone and the stock came up and, and, and licked at my penis and I shoot it away. And I didn't like that.

And it didn't like, and then, and then it came back and it bit me. Jesus. Hard and Christ. He probably thought you, it was her, your chew toy, like they have those little, is your dick like hamburger shade to go? Those things that you fill with peanut butter. Yeah, that's like a Kong. Yes, it's Kong toy, like a very modest Kong.

There was peanut butter on it. Well, there's your problem. Dogs can't resist that shit. Where else am I supposed to put the peanut butter? Anyways, I shouldn't have told that story, but no, it's good. We all just got really personal. You have a skinhead dog by your dick and my friend going to blow job. I cure from Chicago and Chicago baby home of the sausage.

100% home with a sausage and, and, and, you know, famously a big food city. Yes. You got any, any chai town eats. Ike's chai. This segment is called Ike's chai town eats. Whoa, great. We love segments. What do I like in Chicago?

Well, I do like deep dish pizza. What's your favorite of the deep dishes? I'm a Lumiel Nadi's guy. Okay. I find that they have the best tomato sauce and the best crust. But I just went to a place called the publican, which is really great. I love, I love Italian beef. I prefer Mr. Beef, but I'll take Al's.

I'll take Portillo's. I'll take whatever they got. I'm trying to think of like the worst thing that you can only. Oh, there's two things that are so like Chicago. One is a, it's called a pizza puff. And it's just like, it's like a giant Totino's pizza roll. Oh man. They throw them in the deep fryer.

They're so good. And then there's another thing called a cake shake. You ever had a cake shake? A chocolate cake shake? Yes. That is one of the best things you could ever have. I had one at Portillo's. Did you go to the one in Chicago or the one, there's one out here.

I went to the one in Chicago. Not the, yeah, not the, there's one in Anaheim. Yeah. Yeah. But those are, those are kind of my, my, my hot eats and my cool treats. Both of them. I offer hot treats. I offer hot treats.

I offer hot treats. I offer hot treats. I offer hot treats. Both of them. I offer hot treats and cool eats. Both vice versa. I do it all. But we have, we take our food very seriously in Chicago.

I, there was a good Italian, Italian beef place or a place you'd get a good Italian beef sandwich in, in Long Beach. It was called Mustards. And it closed down. And then it got replaced with a place called hashtag burger. What a, like why are you, that name is not going to endure. Even if that place sticks around, this name is going to seem so bad in like three years. It seems bad now.

I also want to say that Mustards wasn't that great of a name either. I agree. Not a great name. At least it's invocative of food and not reminding you of the shithole that Twitter is. It's like Tom from MySpace chicken joint. That's awful. Hashtag burger. Yeah.

That seems like one of those things that like, and I don't want to, you know, cast dispersions, but like an Israeli guy would come up with like hashtag burger. We call it burger. You know, and everyone, the hashtag about it and they put the burger on the burger. I'm Jewish. So I, I'm allowed to make jokes about Israel. But it seems like a very like. That's what burger rim kind of like a burger rim is kind of a similar burger.

Ram is, is actually like Israeli. Yeah. Yeah. It is an Israeli chain. Because it's lots of burgers together. You go and you get the, how do you say the things on the toppings it and you can mix and match the bigger him. It's fucking a stupid name.

I haven't been there. I want to go, but it's not a great. I heard it's good, but I agree that it's the name makes it seem like a place. I'm like that seems like a fake place that I want. Yeah. It's also like I don't. I didn't know for first of it was burger. I'm like I'm you know, or if it's like burger.

That's like a verb. Yeah. We're going burger rim, but that would be burger in. Yeah, but yeah. It's not even a fucking thing. It sucks, but for some, but then it is like one of the overseas. It is. It's a huge chain.

Oh, it is. I think so. Right. I mean, it's popular and it's growing quickly. I do. The branding is bizarre because it's just like it's, it's, it's a word you know, but then distorted into nonsense. Yeah.

Are you, you have the first hashtag burger. Is that the first one or is there multi hashtag? I don't know. I just, that's the only one I've seen. There might be more. Think of the, think of the idiot who is using hashtag burger on there on, on Twitter. Yeah.

I just had a great dinner. Hashtag burger. All right. Let's lay off of Doughboy's fans. I'm bigger than this fucking. So aside from, aside from places you like to eat, my understanding is that you, you have, you're someone who's worked in food service. I have.

Were you a bus boy at one point? I was a bus. Well, if I, I mean, but back when I was a boy, I worked at like a short order, like one of those restaurants near, near a public golf course where they made food. Oh, wow. Okay. I would work the grill sometimes. But then when I moved out here to, to for show biz, baby show biz, I, I, I tried to

get a job at Morton's cause my dad was friends with a guy who was the manager of Morton's in Chicago. And I went to Morton's and they're like, no, no, you're not Morton's material. Cause I had zero food service. Right. Damn. And then I tried to go to the Palm, which was a fucking disaster. Cause I went at like, I said, I called my friend, my dad's friend.

I go, Hey, I didn't, Morton said no. He goes, go to the Palm and tell him your friends with, uh, Walter McClure. And I was like, okay. So I go to the Palm and I, I, I worse like a jacket and tie, you know, cause my dad's always like, we're a jacket and tie to a job interview. And I went at noon and I went in and, and, uh, I said to the guy, it was packed. It was like the lunch rush. And I was like, Hey, yes.

I would like a job application. And the guy's like, why did you come now? It's noon. It's lunch. And I was like, Oh, uh, I'm friends with Walter McClure. He goes, your friends with Walter McClure, CEO of Palm international. And I was like, I go, yes, he hands me one. He goes, fill it out and fill out your application.

I go, do you mind if I sit at the bar? He goes, absolutely. I mind. That's for customers. Wow. It's a, but, but the happy ending to that story is I got a job at Morton's a year later and it was really sad because it's a really hard job being a bus boy, being a bus boy fucking sucks.

Yeah. It's all on you. Right. They don't want to, uh, you know, the servers share their tips with you at their discretion. There's no like standard for what they have to pay you. Mm hmm. Irma Irma.

Emma is nodding her head. Have you bus tables? I bartended for seven years. So I get it, but we, but we were a pooled house. So it was all the tips went into a pool and everybody got paid evenly. So I, all the bus people got paid. It wasn't like I chose how much I gave. Yeah.

It was an even split. This was back in 2002. Sure. Different America. Yeah. It was, yeah, but it was just really tough, but, uh, I got to see some Hollywood celebrities. I saw, um, Emilio Estevez one night. Wow.

Yeah. What type of state did he get? Yeah. Do you remember? Uh, he got, I don't remember what he got. Oh, I'll tell you what. Okay. I, I, do you remember there was, there was a show called either dinner for five or table

for five. Yes. The John Fabro show. Yes. All right. So I remember watching it one day before I was going to work and there were only four people at the table. There was an empty seat and Marilyn Manson was one of the people, right?

So that night I'm at work and Marilyn Manson comes in and he orders a steak like well done by the way. Not very. Yeah. That's fucking bullshit. Yeah. All right. Mr. Vampire.

But I walked out to him as a bus boy. I'm wearing my big black leather apron and I leaned into him just as he took like an enormous bite of steak and I went, Hey, who was on the, who was, who didn't show up for the dinner for five? And it's like literally as the food went in his mouth, a huge piece of steak and he just, he kind of indicated like give me one second and for like a minute he chewed his food and they're in the very end goes, Michael Rappaport, thank you for not that great an answer. All the, all the fans who like, of like Marilyn Manson who think of like all the one question

I would get to ask him if I ever met him, you take that opportunity to ask him about an IFC show. That's great though. That's, that would have been an interesting convo. It would have been. And then my boss said, don't, don't, don't talk to them. Don't talk to the people. Yeah.

But it was, it's tough. It's tough being in the food service is very sexy. It's very fun because, you know, everyone's like young and, you know, wants to go out and drink afterwards. But it's also just like very, you know, I remember one night they were like, give to go clean up urine in the bathroom, child is peed and I said, no, I took a stand. I was like, no. And then they just made the other bus boy do it and then I just felt better.

I should have done it. Maybe another. Another reason why we're bad at why we shouldn't have this podcast is Nick and I have never had any. I don't think we've had any service industry, right? I've worked in a bookstore, but I've never worked in food store service. Yeah. It's not.

It's a it's completely. It's completely different from working in food service. It's much more stressful. Much more hazardous. I worked in a movie theater where you serve food. So actually, that's a little. Yeah, that's more qualified than fucking Mr. Bookstore. Well, maybe the bookstore have like a vending machine or something.

I mean, yeah. Yeah. This sounds like bullshit. No, we had a vending machine with you could get full meals, bananas, full meals in it. The best spaghetti in town from this vending machine. Yeah, but it's fun. And it does. I do think it does.

Also, like I'm still like very entranced when I go to a new restaurant, I like to like, you know, look at it and see how it's set up and stuff. I do love that world. Do you ever scope out your like, like, oh, like you kind of figure out the system there. They're doing for the service. Yeah. It's so much different than it was now. But I will say like those Morton's restaurants, not to give a plug to Morton's, but they are

so fucking clean. Like, yeah, like any of those like high end chain restaurants, they're like all about specs and stuff. And like, like you could like, honestly, like eat off just something could fall off the floor and you could pick it up and eat it. And I did every night. I'm not kidding. I ate so much food from there.

We're not above floor food. Yeah. I would bring home like food that like, like he would always be a lot of like older gross men coming in with like attractive young women. Sure. And they'd be like, get her the double rib eye. You're going to love it. And they're like, okay.

Like just clearly like coked up. Right. And so they would, they would take like one bite and like I would like watch it and be like, yes, take sandwiches tomorrow for my roommates, baby. But, but it was, it was, it was, it was still fun. I still had fun. Well, and I still worked there. I'm picking.

I got a shift tonight. Okay. I did have a guy tell me when I got, I got, I was working there when I got cast. I'm at TV and was run really nice guy. It works. She goes, can I give you a word of advice? Keep three, four shifts a week. And I was like, you want me to do four shifts a week while I'm doing a TV show?

I go, but what if I have to shoot the show? He's like, you know, you'll always have the job. I'm going to, I'm going to jump. Which, which one was it? Was it the one? The one Las Yenegand between, you know, just, just south of the Beverly Center. Right. Okay.

Is that the one we want to or no? No, we went to the one downtown. Yeah. They said one there. They won Burbank. They have like, they have like, I think like something like eighty seven of them. Yeah, it's, it's, it's a, it's sprawling. Yeah.

Um, yeah. We were, we were, we were Mortons. The bus boys probably refer to us as older gross men as we came in there too. With that hot young girl, Tim Calpakis, Tim Calpakis, if I know him, he's all coked up and he's not going to eat anything. He's coked up and ready to eat everything. That's the issue. Yeah.

Morton's is great. I really, I really enjoy Morton's. Yeah. Do we give it five four? I think, I think, I think it's a platinum play club member. Do you like the palm as well? I like the palm very much. I enjoy.

We haven't reviewed the palm for the, for the, for the podcast, but I've been to the palm and I do like the palm. I like Ruth's Chris. I think that I think that there's a lot of those high end steakhouse chains are, are, are quite good. They move the palm to Beverly Hills, which is great, but I did love the old location. Right.

I was there one night and Mickey Rourke was there. Whoa. Yeah. And this might be like pre wrestler, pre the wrestler. Oh man. But he's there and you know, he's got those fucking chihuahuas. Right. Yeah.

And he was one was like sitting on his lap and it took a, it peed. And he goes, he goes to, he goes, Ernesto, can you get me a rag? Bippy made poo poo. And I remember thinking like, why did he call this piss poo poo? Like it was so weird. It's like it's that thing where you're like out of, you're so, you've been famous for so long. You're out of touch.

You start thinking shit is pissed. You know, you're just like, you call things by like, I remember my, my, my buddy worked at a hotel and Jack Nicholson was there one night and he came up and goes, someone took my wallet. No identity. And my friend was like, what? And he realized he was saying someone stole my wallet and I don't have my ID, but he didn't know how to say it.

He didn't know what an identification card was called. He did. He goes, no identification. No identification. It was so weird. It's so weird. Yeah. That's insane.

You know, when you're that like successful, you don't have to, um, it's just different rules. No one corrects you. No, because that's the other thing too. It's like such a status thing of like no one's going to be like, oh, like someone told Rourke that, that pisses shit. It's pissing shit backwards. And he's like, it's like, I don't want to do it.

You do it. It's like, I don't want to do it. Do you think he ever like is like, uh, uh, hey, can I use your bathroom? I'm going to piss in there. I just got a piss. Don't worry. And they're like, sure, go ahead. Like 30 minutes later, it comes out and it's like, there's like, uh, heat lines.

And they're like, Mickey, what the fuck? He's like, what? It was just pee pee. On set, he's calling out 10 ones and he's gone for 20 to 30 minutes. That's an industry. That's a pretty inside industry thing. Ten one. Ten one.

Yeah. I don't know if that's the con. That's not all industry. I think, right? I've only heard it applied on sets. Yeah. Okay. Ten one.

The pee break. The code for it. Ten two, which, which no one ever admits to. I've never, I've never had 10 to uttered. I have, I have, when I was in the, when I was going number two in the bathroom for something they need to be on set for, I heard someone outside say, oh, he's 10 one. And I was like, thanks buddy. Thank you for looking out for me.

Me and a friend. I might just start, I might start using it on set saying not 10 two for me. I'll be gone for a little bit. Just own it. Just own it. I need to work again for that to happen. John Wayne, John Wayne wouldn't act and he was in his contracts. He wouldn't act until he took a shit in the morning.

Wow. Yeah. He was like, I'm not going to set until I have my shit. I get that. Hey, if you're a listen, I'm all for people. If you're powerful enough to make your, your, you know, Piccadillo's, you know, part of your contract, do it. Right.

Like, why not? Yeah. There's a, there's a Steven Botchko story about the star of, do you remember that show, Murder One? Daniel Benzali. Daniel Benzali. Is that the name of the actor? Yes.

It was this bald guy. It's the show Murder One that was critically claimed, but it was only one, only on for one season. Followed one case the whole year. Yeah. One, yeah. It was like the first, one of the, the, the progenitors of the, you know, continuous narrative throughout an entire season thing.

And, but I guess the star of that show, like he kept holding up production for that same reason is that he had to have his morning dump. Yeah. And that was the term he said. The guy, the actor said morning dump and he kept insisting. He was like, this is a story Steven Botchko tells in his book. And he's like, he's like, I have to take my morning dump and it has to be at my house in Malibu because he was like one of those guys who had one of those issues.

I love that. Like lawyers got involved. Yeah. Like, like one of his agents was like, have you thought about waking up earlier? Right. He's like, no, no, I have to. I have to do it. Yeah.

I have my schedule. Yeah. And then they were like, well, can you drive to set? And then we'll get you like a hotel room across the street and you can take a dump in there. There's like no way. I didn't shit in the Pacific Ocean every morning at 6 30. Otherwise I can't act properly.

I'll never solve this case. So, so I, one thing I know about you is the beyond the Chicago connection. There's a boom Chicago connection. There is improv theater that is in Amsterdam. And so you lived in Amsterdam for a time in your 20s. Yes. What was the besides the craziness and that culture shock? I imagine there's there's a little bit of a food culture shock with Amsterdam.

Like what is the scene like that? Especially the time it was, it was shit. It was really terrible. Yes. Yes. When I moved there. Now, when you say shit, do you mean piss? I'm sorry.

I will have to admit, I'm very allergic to cats, so you're going to see my oh my God. Oh, it's okay. It's okay. No, no, no. It's funny. It's good for the pot. And my it'll you like you'll start singing like my I'll start crying a little bit, but I'm not crying because I'm like sad.

Just so you know that. Well, if Nick and I are crying, it is because we're sad. Well, it's good that I also shook your hand with the cat earlier and we have been a drill and we can also open the door. No, I'm great. Okay. So the food was it was shit in terms of feces. Right.

It was just it was very the Dutch don't love food. Sure. They're there. First of all, they're all like super skinny rails. They're all just like giant people and they like to eat like little sandwiches and shit. So and I was also like 23. Yeah. So it was all about like the Burger King and falafel and shawarma and stuff there.

The only time they have good food is when it's like another culture. Like they have a, you know, a lot of Indonesians living there. So everything. Right. Stoffel. It's really good. Right. But for the Doughboys Amsterdam pod that you guys are going to go do, there's a place

called FABO FEBO. Have you been, I think, I think we've maybe heard about this before possible. Yeah. Yeah. Heather probably. Yeah. Heather Campbell loves this. It's fast food.

Yeah. Hot fast food from a vending machine. Right. Yes. It's one of those things that you like look at it when you're sober and you're like, this is the stupidest, grossest thing. Right. And then after you've smoked like 10 joints and had 100 beers, you're like, this is the

greatest food. But that was, it was actually there where I really kind of learned how to cook because I couldn't get good things like decent like red sauce or gravy, you know, like my people say from Sicily. But I would start cooking there and I would start making food for my roommates and stuff. And yeah, like we would make like biscuits and gravy and like all that American food you couldn't eat. Right.

But the food scene's gotten a little bit better. But then I just was back there for our 25th anniversary and I went to like a lovely restaurant where the service was very nice. I was like, oh, this is not great, but it's fine. Right. It's just not, there is not huge food people, a lot of like herring and shit. Oh, God. Yeah.

I heard that. A lot of pickled fish. And the service is a little like a little cold and a little like, oh my God. Oh yeah. I'll never forget. We were at this place one day and the waiter, we'd been there sitting there finished with our meal for like 45 minutes and I finally saw our waiter across the restaurant and I gave him the international symbol for the check.

I held up my hands, pretended to write on it and this fucking guy came back with a piece of paper and a pen and I was like, what is this? He's like, I thought you wanted to write something down and I was like, fucking no, no. So, so I hit him, wait a minute, hold on a second, I threw that part of the story a little bit better and give it a little more juice at the end. No, but yeah, go to Amsterdam, but to go for, you know, the fun things like the Anne Frank House. No, go for a million reasons, but I definitely would not be able to hide in that house back

in the day. It's actually a little bit bigger than you think. All right. It's not like it's not like if, you know, my wife and I were looking for a new house and they showed us that, we'd be like, yes, this is the place where I was surprised that it's a little bit right, but she complained a little too much. Come on, I'm just joking. She went to hell and back.

We're all Anne Frank supporters on this podcast. I am staunchly pro Anne Frank. There's also one of the better pancake, Panicocan houses. That's like literally downstairs from there. So it really is a beautiful place to visit. You're trying to, are you trying to kill like with the, you put the, the, the paper, the cat paper towel dispenser on the table. Wait, what?

Oh, I'm not allergic to this. Oh yeah. Metal. Okay. Yeah. I thought you were like, I was, I thought you were saying the cats played with the paper towel dispenser. What you're saying is that the school toy, the spool is in the shape of a cat.

Yes. And you were, I know you were, you were, you were making a joke. Yes. Of course. I'm just making sure. Jesus. You should go to Amsterdam and become a fucking waiter over there. Ice cold pieces.

Shit. I can't see it from my perspective. I'd forgotten it was a cat. Nick would do this thing. He would bring you a piece of paper and a fucking pen if you did that. And I would still think I was right too. Um, so, uh, have you, here's a question for an Ike. Have you ever had Ike's sandwiches?

No. Is it an ice cream sandwich? It's a, they're, it's a sandwich chain. We actually, we actually know the owner. Oh wait. I've, I've seen, someone texted or tweeted me a photo of him at the time. I was like, do you own this? And I was like, no.

I would like to. What kind of sandwiches are we talking about? Um, it's, uh, it's, it's akin to, not, not one to one, but it's akin to like a fat sals. If you had fat sals, just like these loaded sandwiches. Hey, we're making sandwiches over here. Hey, fuck off. Yeah.

Oh, hey, go fuck yourself. I got a nice sandwich here. I drive by fast fast sals all the time and I've never pulled it. We went there the other day. How is it? Um, it was a, we went for a special, they, they did a pop-up version where they turned it in. This is actually will be an, I think an upcoming, uh, Doughboy's double.

We're going to, we'll talk about it, but they converted it into McDowell's, the restaurant from coming. Oh, wow. And that's why I was watching. That's why you're watching America. Yeah. I mean, that's what I was watching. Yeah.

Coming to McDowell's, but I don't want to ask if it was good, but I've always been trepidatious. Uh, but I want to try it. It's good. It's, it's very over the top. This is a little bit more reined in and a little bit more approachable. I don't love over the top. I don't love where it's like, what do we got in this fucking sandwich, chicken, palm,

a whole pizza, not sticks, fucking, uh, steak. It's just, I don't like more than, uh, unless it's like a very specific, like Italian cold cut sandwich. I don't like multiple meats. Then, then, yeah, that's, that is, that is fast, fast house is really, is really over the top. There's no sticks and fries and shit in the fries in a sandwich. Fuck off.

Fuck you. No. I don't care where you're from. I don't care if you're the mayor of Pittsburgh. French fries in a sandwich is fucking, you know what, I kind of, I kind of agree. I love French fries and I don't, I don't know if I like them in a sandwich. Here's what, here's my, here's what I do. If you give me a sandwich that has french fries, take the fries off and put them right

next to the sandwich and then in between bites of the sandwich, have a fry, like God fucking intended. This is funny though, because I love California burritos, which have the fries in the burrito. If there's some places that don't do them well, but there's some places that knock it out. It can be dry, but you, if you get a good California burritos, my problem with is putting anything starchy into anything starchy. Yeah.

Rice in a burrito. I can't do it. Beans all day, but like, yeah, anything that just, it just makes it too dry and I just feel like it's like I'm power eating. That can be a real, like, like sometimes I get you get a breakfast burrito with hash browns in it and it'll be like a little, I can't do it. Or, or, or at least one thing is hash browns, breakfast potatoes, breakfast potatoes. Yeah.

I fucking hate breakfast potatoes. When I go to a restaurant and listen, listen, guys, this is, this is, this is, this is the real shit. And you're serving me home fries when you could serve hash browns. Yes. There's no fucking comparison. This I am fully on board with. Like, come on.

Yeah. Home fries are always like mushy and they're just not good and you have to put so much ketchup on hash brown. I was like, fucking perfect here and you guys are mostly in a roast me. I think that I, I, I agree with you for the most part, but I think that the best version of home fries is better than the best version of hash browns. What are you talking about? That's right.

Mitch, Mitch, Mitch, Mitch, Mitch, what is your, what is your best version of home fries? What's your ideal home fry? I don't know. Something like a new confirms back in Quincy. Okay. So you're thinking of one specific restaurant from your hometown that sells home fries and that's why it's the best because you grew up with it.

I don't know. If they're too, if they're too much, you know what I like when they're when they're not like there's no potato skin on them when they're when I know you like you like the ones that are like golden brown and puffy in the inside. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Those are, if you're going to go home fry, it should be those.

Yeah. You could shred the potatoes and fry them in oil and they're crispy. I think it's almost always better. I think that the, if you, yeah, maybe, maybe like a, like a tighter dice, like you're not going like these, these big, because these big chunky breakfast potatoes that are like it's like a quarter potato you're getting. I hate it. They're so like, uh, the, the, just the textures off, uh, Cassell's and Koreatown, I don't

know if you've been there. Oh yes. Amazing burgers. They also have great breakfasts and they have a legit amazing hash brown. Oh my God. I can try it there. Hey, hard to find them in LA sometimes. Hashtag home fry home guy or home fry home.

Hashtag. Brown. Is that a good one? Hashtag hash brown. Yeah. It's like it's like hashtag burger. It's like what our friend. It's like what our fans say hashtag hash brown hash bro.

I like that. That's the best one of all. There you go. There you go. Nick. You got. You have any? You have any hashtags?

What the? What's the third option? I don't know. I just thought maybe you'd have breakfast, potatoes, hash browns. We got them covered. All right. Throw a third one on there. I love your.

If you like latkes, hashtag. I do love latkes. Do you like? They're good. I got to go back to Chicago for a second. Yes, sir. Gibson steakhouse. I was just there.

Yeah. It's fun. Oh, shit. No, no, no, no. It's great. It's such a scene. Yeah. It's so like, like I've been there a hundred times.

It's fun. It's fun to go. The food's good. You get like a fucking martini like that big. It's just, it's like very like. It's like very like Chicago socialite. You know what I mean? Right?

It's just kind of like. That's me. That's me. That's you. What I think. But it's good. It's good. It's like, it's fun and good.

You always see like an, like an 85 bear there. Like, oh, there's Keith Van Horn. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty cool. I just went there. When this will tie you to anyone, think you were Mike Dicca?

No one thought I was fucking Dicca. Like Dicca's 77. And the biggest asshole in the world. He has real piece of shit. You know, they used to call me Hurricane Mitch. Because I know, well, there isn't really a Hurricane Dicca. It's just, I'm thinking of Chris Farley saying Hurricane Dicca on SNL. But they called me Hurricane Mitch in football because there was a

Hurricane Mitch coming up the coast at that point in time. And it was kind of like a joke because I sucked football. It was terrible at football. You're a tropical storm Mitch now. You've been down great. Get the fuck out of here. So I interrupted you. You were saying something.

I was gonna say that the coaches locked me in the equipment shed at one point. And then when he came out, your dad was running around with a boner. Oh, worst day of his life. Well, my dad was down at the football field running around with a boner. Look, these things are quite crazy in Quincy. Jesus. Uh, no, that never happened. Hey, whitey bulgers passed away.

We didn't talk about. Oh, yeah, good guy. Rest in peace. We have the same agent at UTA. He was, he was, yeah, I would see him at one of the holiday parties. Yeah. Boy, quite a band they got up there now, huh? Whitey bulger on keys to me Hendrix on guitar.

Antonin Scalia on drums. I can assure you Antonin Scalia and Whitey bulger are in the same place right now. This, this, this is the truth. I mean, this is, I don't know if he listens to the podcast or not, but hello. If, if you do listen, one of my, one of my really good friends growing up, I don't talk to him too much anymore, but his godfather was Whitey bulger. Holy shit. Yeah.

He got killed by a younger mobster in jail. I don't fucking like rats. Yeah, I know. I tried to cut his tongue out of trying to cut his tongue out and he was beaten beyond recognition. Yes. The way the way Nick will go down. We'll take a break.

We'll be back with more dough boys. Welcome back to dough boys. Ike Baron holds our guest. Top round roast beef, our chain. Ike, why did you want to talk about top round? You seem pretty emphatic about wanting to discuss it. Well, while real talk, I, you know, I, I got sent a couple options. Yeah.

One I just didn't like. I think it was Einstein's bagels. Yeah. I just don't like it. Right. It's just bagels. Yeah. And then there was another one.

I can't remember, but I was like, I, because I listened to the podcast. I was like, these guys have never done top round and it's a chain. Yes. The regional chain. Yeah. Well, there's, it's, it's semi. I mean, it's, but it's in like three different. There's a three different.

Right? Or something. Yeah. They've got them. I think Kentucky, Texas and California. I thought it'd be a fun one for you to talk about because it's basically someone was like, Hey, I love Arby's in theory, right? Yeah.

But it is dead, you know, decayed buffalo meat. What if we had this with some fresh products and, and I had it for the first time. Oh, maybe six months ago. Right. I really liked it. Yeah. Really liked it a lot. And I just thought it would be a fun one for us to break down.

I think it was a great choice. I we were just talking with Arby's. There's a duck sandwich that I think Susser or somebody sent us. We weren't talking with Arby's. We were talking about Arby's. Yeah. We're talking re Arby's. Sorry.

I was talking with Arby's. You were at an Arby's talking to the place. They told me to drive through. They have a duck sandwich and it will be nice to Arby's and we'll be like want Arby's to succeed. We want Arby's to me too. I really want them to do and if I still eat their shit. Yeah, of course.

It's an interesting. It's an interesting place, but you're you're right. You're not getting the best quality stuff, but it does it. Sometimes it can seem and sometimes it can seem a notch above other other place. I will agree, but but it's on top round is on a different planet in terms of quality. Yeah, but in terms of Arby's just to give them a little love. Yeah, I'm I'm driving down the road. I'm driving down the one on one.

I'm going to Carmel. Let's just say it sounds delicious. It's not caramel. I'm driving down Carmel. I'm going to pull off on exit chocolate and I see like one of those signs. It's like food ahead 10 miles. If I see Arby's Burger King Subway Pizza Hut or Taco Bell, I'm going to Arby's over them. Wow.

That strikes me as an Arby's or Taco Bell. Hello. We even the food in the car because that's another that's another big thing too. I eat the food in the car. Yeah. Yeah. I almost never will I eat in a fast food restaurant. Oh man.

I love it. Yeah. I love it. I love eating in a fast food restaurant. Hard time with it. Do you know what I think is the easiest to do on a road trip? I think McDonald's is one of the easier one. Like cheeseburger and French fries is just easy to eat.

You're talking about anything. You're talking to eating while driving. Yeah, I don't. I don't do that. Pull into the parking lot and I eat the parking lot like a sad lonely man. I do that not on road trips, but it's it's funny. You're right when you're driving Arby's is bad because you have to keep putting on your horsey sauce.

Yes. Yeah. And there's not a more shameful way to die. Oh yeah. Did you hear what happened? It's fucking going to Carmel. One on one. He got an Arby sandwich, right?

And he was looking at a sandwich putting on horsey sauce. He got fucking hit by a semi. He's dead. That is like this. So embarrassing. And the coroner can't he the coroner can't remove the horsey sauce. So when you go to the open casket, it's all over his face. They his parents wanted them to see what they did to him and it's all over his face

and it looks like it looks like jizz first of all. And second of all, it's fucking gross and I don't even want to go to the funeral. I'm not going to the funeral. Fuck him. This is how it would happen. Right. Eventually they're just sharing their real feelings about you. It turns into like a roast of a dead man.

And so no, I will eat it in the parking lot. I don't risk people seeing me and my knuckles up into my mouth, sucking down curly fries. I tried to eat the worst disaster I had while eating while driving, which is something I never do anymore. This was like 10 years ago. I just was like, I don't I don't like doing this. It makes me even more anxious.

It's dangerous and I can take five minutes to just eat at the side of the road. If I'm in, if I'm ever in that much of a rush, but steak dinner. Yeah. No, I was lobster. It was a veggie sandwich. They fall everywhere. They fall apart of getting avocado and sprouts all over the place. It was a fucking disaster.

You know what I think? I think you deserve to get hit by that semi for eating that fucking veggie sandwich. Veggie sandwiches are good. You get a good veggie sandwich. You get a palate cleanser. I had a rough night. I had howling rays yesterday. Oh yeah.

Wow. Yeah. That's really good. It's really good. Nick just had it for the first time just recently. Yeah, just recently. What level did you go? I went, I went just straight hot.

I went straight hot and I gotta tell you it was too hot. It was, it was a good heat level for me. I did. They really try to warn you off the hot, but it's, it's quite hot. I'm with you. I think it's too hot. Where's the thing? I just, I'm from 41.

Right. And my body has changed. Yeah. I'm going through some very interesting changes. And it's now literally at the point where it's like, it is not worth it. Yeah. I'm super spicy because what happens to me the next day is not cool. Yeah.

And it's not funny. I, I'm ashamed. My family hates me and it's just like, it's too much. So if I could turn back time, I would go and I would get the medium. Yeah. The medium they try to push you toward. I mean, the hot, it is intensely hot. I would do, I would like spicy foods.

I would honestly maybe do mild from there. I ate the Howlin. I ate some of the, I ate about half the chicken breast of the Howlin. Yeah. And I told Nick this, I wasn't right for two days. Yeah. The Howlin is like, there's like a hot, there's an extra hot and then there's a Howlin, which is their absolute hot, their, their hot.

And this is a hot chicken place that's in LA for anyone who. And the best part is if you get there at like 1130, you only have to wait in line for two hours. Although I had a foodie friend who like somehow got an advance order. So we got to wait, which was cool. Whoa. That's awesome. But still it is, it's intense.

It's delightful. It's, it's worth the wait, but it is, it is. Yeah. But I had that combined with then I had, you know, kids that had a Halloween party. So you had pizza. Right. I ate so much of their candy last night. By the way, guys, candy is so fucking good now.

They have individual wrapped Reese's that have Reese's pieces in them. Yeah. That is what I mean. It's almost like if you're balancing that and Trump, it's not quite enough, but it's like close. And then when you went, you went down to the kitchen to get a glass of water at night and you actually accidentally drank a cup of hot sauce to your right. I did, but that was my fault for leaving out the cup of hot sauce.

Right. I what I like to do is leave it out overnight. So it kind of cools down a little bit. Yeah. And it just settles. So I, but I do drink it right when I wake up a big glass of Frank's red hot. I'm a crazy person too. I don't know if you do that.

Oh, okay. That's informing a lot of us. Yeah. No. I feel like in my lifetime I've drank some Frank's red hot sauce. I'm almost sure of it now that I've had, I've drank some Frank's red hot sauce. If you were to, if you could add up all the hot sauce that I've put on food, I'm not, I swear to God, it's not, I'm not exaggerating.

In my mind, it would fill an Olympic size. Wow. And I'm not kidding. Yeah. I kill my food with hot sauce. It would be a full pool. You can wake up a lot of, you can wake up a lot of bland food with a little bit of that hot sauce.

Oh my God. It was a lovely one. I just got it whole foods. That's a Serrano chili sauce. Oh, it sounds delightful. It's delightful. It's spicy, but it's not oppressive. I put it on eggs.

It's just delicious. Can we hold on a second? Yeah. He says an interesting thing about how he could fill up on his Olympic size swimming pool with hot sauce. Any responses? Yeah. Hot sauce can liven up a meal.

You can wake up. It's a plan. Shit. That's like, was it supposed to go on a fucking riff about swimming laps in this Olympic size hot sauce? Yeah. That's funny. Oh, I forgot my goggles because my eyes are going to be burning for a few days.

That's pretty good. Hey, Nick, you know what? Yeah, I bought Halloween candy for kids. Zero came to my house. Zero. Absolutely zero. Wow. They might have.

It's all young. I think there's a carving on your door to warn you young people away. It's like the hobo code. I want to see what you thought of of what I got. It's up there on top of the fridge. I think that I did. Would you mind Emma? I think I think I did.

I think I fucking knocked it out of the pot. I see the Reese's cups, the mini cups, which I think I've either the Reese's mini cups. Take five. Holy shit. I got some take fives. Emma just guessed it. What was your Halloween candy? What was your everyday candy?

Oh, okay. Yeah. Fun sized Snickers take five and you got some so you got some Reese's individual cups. Take five is is is a top three candy. It's a good candy. I agree. I think it's Nick. Those Snickers aren't just fun sized Snickers.

They're all different flavors. Oh boy. Butter, almond and crisper. Yep. I haven't had the crisper in regular. Yeah. No shit. Should it be crispier?

Yeah. Crisper makes you think that crisper drawer. Oh yeah. But that's weird. It should be like these are these are regular Snickers because it's a little crispier. I agree. It should be crispier. Crisper doesn't work.

Yeah. Yeah. That's one of those things they probably focus tested and people thought people responded better. I mean, why not just call it crisper? I don't understand. Why not? Trump.

So top round roast beef, we're the the actual structure and I'm not sure what the other ones look like. But the original, which is on La Brea Boulevard is this repurposed closed donut shop that has this like amazing googie architecture. It's such a fifth sixties. Looks like it looks like something out of the jet that you're about to be murdered by the Manson family. Yeah.

I wish. But it's it's great. Like the the you know, the building is great ample parking for a place in LA, which counts for something. You order at the window and I'll talk about what I went with our with our friend, Evan Susser. The two of us had lunch today before I went into work and we got a Susser got in on a fucking other free meal.

Surprise. He was eager to go. He was eager to go to top round. He really top round version. Both of us. This was our first time. My wife has been a couple of times. I've never been before.

Yeah. But so here's what we got. We got the beef and cheese, which is the homemade cheese whiz, the round sauce, the onion and the onions. That's what I had. That's also what I had beef on whack, which is it's got an atomic horseradish caraway and sea salt bun, which you warned me was a very salty bun and you weren't kidding. Can I tell you a really fun thing about Weck?

Yes, please. Do you know what Shane used to have the word Weck in its title? I do know. Do you know, Mitch? I don't. I don't know if I do know. This was in one of my intros. I don't listen to your fucking intro.

I know. That's why it starts with a W and it was one of three W's in the name of this restaurant. Wow. Hmm. I don't know. I was gonna say Wendy's. Buffalo Wild Wings. Buffalo Wild Wings.

It used to be Buffalo Wild Wings and Weck and Weck. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Damn. Maybe I should start listening to your intros. Have you heard this show before? Never.

I don't think I've ever listened to it. We talked about we talked. We talked about re listening to episodes and I did it once. I was like this. I mean, you were right. That's the correct assessment. I can't disagree with you. But yeah.

The so it's a yeah. It's a regional. It's like an upstate New York sandwich. That sort of weck. It's it's Syracuse. Right. Buffalo. And then they got up there.

The garbage plate in Rochester is it's that I shouldn't say that's all they got. I want to get some crazy food. I want to school in upstate New York. Where'd you go? I went to Ithaca. Oh, my brother went to Colgate. Oh, yeah. Great school.

And that, you know, they survive. What? I'm just going to say is a was it do you go to dental school? Jesus. High five. I got an actual high five up there. You have to eat that shit because it gets so cold. Right.

You have to eat salted bread to get prepared for the winter. I rode against Colgate. I was. Oh, you're a rower. I was a rower. My brother was a runner. My brother was a shower. Sorry.

I'm not a rower. I'm a shower. That's a false dichotomy, by the way. I always say that the show or versus grower, there's no guy who's like, I'm a shower. I've never met a guy who's like, oh, yeah, that's my, my flaccid dick is as big as it gets. Yeah. I'm a show or every guy claims to be a grower.

I'm a haver. We also got the chicken Cali, which is a, which is a fry. It's a fried chicken, hand breaded fried chicken. Good, good fried breaded fried chicken. The chicken, the chicken, the chicken, rather the Cali version has lettuce, tomato, avocado and ranch on a sesame bun. I'll talk through the sandwiches. The beef and cheese is great.

I think that one's a home run. It's just, it's just like the Arby's beef cheddar, but it's a plus stuff. It's so much better. Yeah. It's so much better. Perfect roast beef. Yeah. The cheese sauce is, is delightful and cheesy as actual cheese in it.

The, the meat is great. Super flavorful. You can throw some of the round sauce of the barbecue sauce on there. If you like you, they have some, some shakers at the table with some seasonings you could throw on there if you like, but even just as it comes, it's delicious. It's great. It's a home run. Beef on Wack is very good.

Very salty. I like aggressively salty things. I'm a real salt freak. I like a salt bagel. Like it just cause, you know, like that's just got like all that coarse salt on there. I, I love it. And this, this one absolutely delivers in the, in the salt category and also delivers in the horseradish category.

If you don't like those two things, this sandwich I think is going to repel you. It's like, it's very strong. It's like, like, like horsey sauce is basically ranch dressing compared to this. This is true horseradish. It's very peppery and it's got the clear your sinuses thing. It's like the ground up root. It's very, very horseradishy. The chicken cali I thought, but, but the beef on Wack, but I quite, I really enjoyed it,

but it will be a polarizing sandwich. The chicken sandwich I thought was really, really good. The avocado was like kind of not like slices. It was kind of cubed or mashed up a little bit. The veggies were just, were very fresh and, and nice on this one. And just like the sandwich, it's, it's like howling rays. If you get the chicken breast sandwich there, it's like a juicy chicken breast. It's just hard to pull off, especially if you're frying it.

A lot of times all that moisture gets sucked out of there. This one, it's very, very moist. It's delicious. And then the, we also got the dirty fries, which has gravy, pro-vel cheese and caramelized onions and pro-vel cheese is apparently something from the Midwest, which is a combo of cheddar, Swiss and provolone designed for melting. The gravy fries are good. They're akin to a, you know, it's akin to a poutine.

I'm sure a poutine purist would scoff at them, but it's, that's what it feels like it's inspired by. I want to say something. I love Canada. I think it's a great country. I have a lot of friends from there. I spent time there. I think it's wonderful. We might end up moving there one day.

Whoa. Poutine is shit. Wow. Oh my, perhaps your hottest take. It is. Like this is the one, this is one place I can't go to with you. Let's take three things that everyone loves and put them together to make a dish that people pretend to like.

Oh my God. Here guys, it's very simple. First of all, let me give you, let me give you a, can I give poutine a note? Please. Sure. Melt the fucking cheese. Wow. Melt the fucking cheese.

And now you're talking, man. You have warm-ish cheese curds. What the fuck? I got news for you. You ain't moving to Canada. They're not going to let you up. They're not going to let you in there. They have amazing things.

Wonderful people. The money is adorable. Fucking. I just don't know why you wouldn't melt the cheese. Wow. It just doesn't make sense. Help me, Nick. I can't go out on this limb with you.

I cannot walk this plank with you. I like poutine. I like the curds. I like, I like the little weird warm chunks. Anything you do subscribe is having weird warm chunks. I don't know how you can say I like it. Hey, I like Mitch. I have weird warm, I guess.

Weird warm chunks. Yeah, I got those. We can't lose our 37 Canadian listeners. No. And I'm sorry. I apologize. I have friends with Seth Rogen. Go ahead.

And we, hey, we're actually, Mitch, I think this got, hey, you sung. Did that show get announced by now? The Canada show? I don't, oh, I have no idea. Oh yeah. Yeah. You guys are going to Saskatoon? We're going up to Saskatoon.

Oh my God. We're going to Saskatoon in January. So we got to come up there. Oh, January. Yeah. This is such a big mistake. They were like, we don't love it. No other act is willing to come up here this month.

How far down the list of asks did they go before they get to the dough boys? I'm going to find Nick outside the whole time. Like the shinings. The last podcast they came here killed his family. I just do it within like 15 minutes instantly killing everyone in the next. You didn't even get to the bartender ghost yet. So the dirty fries, I think we're good. They're, I mean, like what you said, your note about the melting aspect of poutine.

This was like kind of a melted cheese. They do melt it there. They do melt it there. And so, you know, that, that addresses that note at least. I thought they were, I thought they were really good, super flavorful, super savory. The onions worked really well, you know, a complete mess to eat and maybe even difficult to share because they're just so, so sloppy. But they're really good.

I did, it did leave me craving because everything, I feel like I was getting a lot of moisture from all the food. I almost felt like if I was going to go back there, I would just get like a straight up cheese fries or just a plain curly fries. Those are homemade. Yeah. Which are, when you get those the right way, when they're fried in a nice peanut oil and you got a double fry, really, really good.

And they also got a sweet treat, but we'll say, we'll save the sweet, I'll save it my sweet treat recollection. Let's get to everyone else's hot eats. Ike, you had yourself a, you also had yourself a beef and cheese. I had a beef and cheese with fries. You couldn't have said it better. It's, it's, it's the something familiar, like an Arby's beef and cheddar, but just so much better.

It's, it's like, it's like the, you see a superhero movie for the first time. Right. Fantastic Four. Is that like superhero movies? But then you see a, oh, Thor Ragnarok. Oh, right. And you're like, oh, fuck. These movies can be incredible.

So it's a real nice, a nice treat. And then I just got a plain, simple, humble fry. And it's perfect. And, but I've had almost everything else in the menu before. Right. And it's legit. Is the, the fries, they seem lightly seasoned. It's not like at the Arby's curly fry.

No, but then also anytime you see a curly fry, it's almost always the same Cisco systems, curly fry that's dipped in some kind of batter that has like this weird spice taste to it. These are straight up fries that they have like one of those machines that like peels the potato into a corkscrew. And then they just fry it and they put on like a little, it's almost like a little salt pepper, maybe like a little loury seasoning salt, like a very, not like a five guys, which is kind of swimming in it. Yeah.

It's, it's, it's, it's strange to have the fries be the lightest part of the meal, but they are. Yeah. And the sandwiches aren't like too big. They're not too small. They're a nice size. It's like a perfect nine bite sandwich. Highly recommend. That's a great observation because they, yeah, they are, they're not huge, gigantic sandwiches.

And so they're also like, even though it's a high quality product, they're reasonably priced because you're getting like, like a portion, but not, not a tiny portion, but like a, not a gigantic portion. It's not like fat sales where it's like, what's inside this sandwich? Oh, my friend, a whole lasagna. We have a chicken cacciatore. I also, the other thing with fat sales is like, why do you want to, why do you want your restaurant to be like the, hey, I'm rude, New York man.

Yeah. That's the worst part of New York. Oh, hey, we want to order food. Go fuck yourself. John Gotti. The Gotti, Gotti was, the movie Gotti was made by movie pass. Is that correct? Was it financed by movie?

Have you guys seen it? I saw it. No, I haven't. I saw it. You guys see it. I do want to see it. It looks fascinating. There's a scene, there's a scene where the, one of the mob bosses is killed and I think

it's Stacy Keach says to John Travolta, who plays John Gotti, who's lived in New York his whole life. Yeah. And he goes, now you're in charge of all the boroughs, Manhattan, Staten Island, Brooklyn. He's just naming the boroughs. Yeah. It's like, yeah. I fucking know.

Gotti knows. Gotti's writing them down. Okay. Oh, Queens is one. Okay. I didn't know that. Interesting. Thank you.

Yeah. It's a, it's a, it's a wild ride. I don't, I'm not sure if it's by movie pass. Maybe it may be fast. Maybe fast sales made it. We do two things beautifully. We make big fucking sandwiches and unwatchable films. Mitch, what was your, what was your top round experience?

All right. Here we go. I want my, with my friend Meg and we got, so we got a few different. Not the Meg. Relax. Not the Meg. Because the Meg would eat everything, including the employees. Mitch, what do you think has a bigger appetite?

You are the Meg. I knew, you know what? I even knew when I said Meg, that that joke would eventually make its way out. I hope the Meg fucking eats you. You're living Santa Monica. I hope we fucking. You'll be out surfing one morning. Meg's gonna get you.

Like I do. I'm a so Cal surfing. Yeah. Why do you pretend to be? Have you been in the ocean before? Oh no. I don't go in there. The Meg's in there and her friends.

I saw the Meg and I, and I recommend the Meg because it's a fun time. Also kind of unwatchable in many ways. I got the beef and cheese, split the beef and cheese, split a black and blue, black and blue. I have not had that one. So that has black pepper, blue cheese, caramelized onions, sesame bun. Then I got the OG, the OG chicken sandwich and then curly fries. Just straight up curly.

The OG chicken sandwiches is akin to like the Chick-fil-A. It's just pickles and mayo and mayo. That's right. I got myself a diet cherry Coke from the Coke freestyle machine. They do have a Coke freestyle there, which is nice, which is there. They're always great. And then there was a, I got some round sauce, some barbecue, some ketchup for the fries and some horseradish.

What would you say the difference is between the round sauce and the barbecue sauce? The barbecue sauce is certainly sweeter. The barbecue sauce is sweeter. I know it was hard to really kind of, I guess it is just that is the barbecue sauce. I would say even as much sweeter. Yeah. The round sauce is more just kind of like a vinegary, almost like an au jus, but not quite. Yeah.

A little dirty taste to it. Like, like it's weird. Yeah. It's good though. I like it. Yeah. It's good. And then I use some of that.

Here's what I have to say. I use some of the seasoning shake. I started liking the same way. I think that the qualities are great. I think I agreed with everything you guys have said. I started to like the sandwiches more when I put some of the seasonings shake onto the sandwich and onto the fries. Cause I thought the fries, the curly fries by themselves, I thought were delicious and

well made. Sure. I want more flavor. I want. I want a little bit more flavor to them, which if you're just if you like the curly fries straight up, you'll you'll love them there. I think you'll think they're great, but I I added some of that. You like Flavortown.

You're a resident of Flavortown. I'm a resident of Flavortown. I want. I want to. I want to kick it up a notch and I and I loved it. You want to say look at the fries and take a bite and say bam. Yeah. I mean, yes.

Nick and I. All right. You're conflating Guy Fieri with emerald agasi. Nick and I are strangely Guy Fieri fans. Yeah. I like. I've watched some. I've watched some DDD before.

Yeah. He's friends with Sandler. I think that's kind of cool. Is he really? Yeah. I just remember when Bobby Moynihan played him on SNL and he had his sunglasses on the back. Oh yeah.

And he goes protect the neck. I want. I don't know if he's been to a to top round before it's guy. That seems right. His out. I think Food Network has visited. I'm not sure if it was diners, drivens and dies. Here's my story with top round.

Yeah. I got a story. I used to get donuts there for the Simpsons. Wow. For the writers in the morning. My God, because it was the place that I used to live just a block away from there. Was Homer ever mad that you forgot his pink frosted donut? Was Al Jean ever mad that you forgot his pink frosted?

That is closer to the. I had to get some apple fritters for Mr. Jean. Sir. I saw it Al at the at the. I went to the World Series game and I saw Al there and it was a funny meeting where like he and I started talking to each other and then like a bunch of like Boston you guys came up to us and they were like they were like it's fuck this fucking sucks or whatever. This is a weird crew.

Like right. This doesn't overlap. You shouldn't. Right. I don't want to see me like this. You shouldn't be talking to this man. Someone told me when Al was in the room with the Simpsons, it's always like the worst when they you know this when they who's ever running the room decides to order dinner.

Yeah. We're like fuck. It's always on a night where you have like tickets to something. Yeah, exactly. And someone told me that Al normally when how it works on like on our show was you know a PA or a writer system would come in and hand Matt Warburton a note or post it and he would look at it nod. Yeah.

But Hal Jean would just be typing and just go cheese which meant we're staying late for dinner order pizza. I want to cheese pizza for myself. Can you confirm it? It's crazy. I heard that crazy. He's just like that again. That's that power thing right where you're just like cheese.

I will. Here's what I'll say. I plead the fifth. There you go. It's first of all. It's not like I was like. Oh yeah. He used to take a shit in his desk.

It's like he had a strange way of ordering dinner. Oh used to beat the shit out of the interns. No. He just like cheese pizza. I can tell you Nick knows I can tell you every single detail you'd ever want. And I'm afraid and I'm now still afraid. It's gotten into my head where I'll be afraid forever, but I like Al. The mill house getting his dick suck by March is true.

It really happened. It was drawn for an episode. That is the one. I'm going to be driving. I'll think about fucking that little nerd. March. They both have blue hair. So it makes sense.

That is true. They do. That is true. I so I would get donuts from this place. So I was sad when it got when it got a when it got changed into this new restaurant. I was like, oh, they took it away. This little local donor place has great donuts. Top round came around.

Me, Harris and Armin went there the first week it opened. Oh, wow. And we weren't blown away. We were just like it's okay, but they were probably working at the King's. Yeah. This because this was years ago now. This is 2013. I believe it's 20.

Yeah. Five years ago. Yeah. Anyway, today I went back had that black and blue. Here's here's what I'm going to say. I'm not I'm not going to tip my score, but you were talking about Arby's and in this place with roast beef. We get a lot of shit on this because we're we're tough on on Chick-fil-a.

Yeah. Chick-fil-a wishes it had that fucking OG chicken. Oh my God. Now in the comparison, it's fucking so good. It's so much better. It's so, so much better. So much. First of all, Chick-fil-a is not crispy at all.

Yeah. These sandwiches are like juicy and fucking crispy. Crispy is it was so good. I was I was eating that chicken sandwich. I wasn't fucking heavy. Yeah. So, so, so good and I and and once I started mixing with and I liked the the the the what's it called the the roast beef sandwiches, but I but I had to kind of mix.

I started mixing stuff in and I put some horseradish sauce on there and I started enjoying it more. The quality is great and I think I think it is like you guys said it's it's an elevated version of like an Arby sandwich and I was having I was having a great time. I was really, really satisfied with with everything I had and I was going to save dessert next. Should we get into it though? Yeah. Let's get it.

Let's get into our desserts. All right. So the reason I bring up brought up Gibson's to just besides that I does the steakhouse I love, but they have this thing called the macadamia turtle nut pie, which they have these like gigantic cakes that at the end of the yes and and the turtle, the macadamia eternal nut. It's it's so good and I got myself a concrete there. That was the that's like a mix and shake.

It was like a mix and it's you got you can't you can't use a straw. It's basically just ice cream and it's a blizzard. It's like a blizzard. Yeah, it is. It's a blizzard and they make their custard in house. They make it in house. This I got the. I got the turtle concrete, not turtle from entourage who my my dessert went to go get

sneakers. What the fuck? My deserts and fat cells are fit. The favorite turtle turtle story we selling sneakers and then he sold like vodka or something for a tequila. It's so funny right when the guy who created the show entourage owned a tequila company, one of the characters in entourage owned the same tequila company that has to break like the quiz show laws.

Right. I feel like right. There has to be anyway. It's fate. It's strange to me that entourage existed in our universe. Not even that long ago. Right. The craziest thing of all.

What's hey? I wish we were living in the world where I was still the thing I was madest the most about. That was a fucking good time. The turtle. The turtle concrete had caramel, not caramel caramel, praline pecans and brownie pieces. Man, this was one of the fucking best things I've eaten in the longest time. It was so fucking good.

It was so good if I I'm going to go there for chicken sandwich in the dessert. It would be. It's such a great treat. It was so I was out of my mind. It was so good. I loved it. I want to go like now and get a dessert because I love blizzards. Yes.

And I now just found out I work 10 minutes away from a Dairy Queen. Whoa. There's one Dairy Queen in like 25 mile radius and it's in Burbank where I work. This is probably just a treat center. They probably just have the blazer. It's not a brazier. Yeah. They don't have hot hot eats.

Just cool treats. Yeah. I would I would say that this place is worth making the drive to always. I was blown away. Yeah. It was it was the best dessert like the best ice cream dessert that I've had in LA, especially locally ever. By the way, did you think at the start of his thing he was going to be like I hated it.

Like I thought he was ramping up into being like I'm not going to get my score yet. Yeah. But no, I love that. I'm very glad. No, I loved it. It was it was it was so it was so good. And I never really had done that before. I don't think I don't think I had any of the concrete.

It just it it it was amazing. And now I am going to close the tip of it, but it pushed my score way up. Yeah. Susser and I got the Southern Belle concrete. We shared this, which is a praline pecans and butterscotch. By the way, the concretes are pretty substantial. Like it's like it's a lot for one person. So just just keep that in mind if you're ordering it.

But yeah, delicious. The custard is really, really great. It's like this great sweet cream base. The praline pecans were were like just they were delicious. They were just like nice to candy. And they they sit it. They sat in there really, really well. And then just like just the right amount of butterscotch.

It was delicious. It was just a perfect execution of it. Can you do a concrete with like peanut butter and kind of candy pieces? Oh, there was a Halloween one. They had a special Halloween one that was told me to get it. It was they weren't making. Oh, they weren't making anymore. Because it's like Halloween candy and shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really good. Wow, they're really strong straw has a Halloween candy flavored ice cream. Oh, man. Seasonal right now. And what they do is they make their own version of the candy. So they make their own Reese's.

Oh, damn. Heath bars. And then they put that in the candy. It's pretty good. That's so much fucking work. It is. It's a lot sounds fucking great. Just going to write it next door to the fucking Ben and Jerry.

You dump it and be like, yeah, we made these Reese's pieces. I'm exhausted. And all I did today is went to top round. Well, let's get to our final thoughts on top round roast beef. So I guess all this will work. We'll each go around sort of give a summation, a closing argument, if you will. And then give this a score from zero to five forks. Our guests go first, Ike, your thoughts.

There's a lot of choices when you want casual fast food in Los Angeles. And I think usually people almost always go for either a burger. Sure. Slash chicken sandwich or like a taco, right? That's kind of the main two lunch places. This is a totally different thing, right? Just like Arby's is the outlier amongst fast food restaurants. The only one serving roast beef sandwiches.

This is the only one in the fast casual realm that's doing it. Incredibly high quality of of ingredients, right? Lots of organic shit. Almost everything is homemade except for the ketchup. Thank God, because there's only one kind of ketchup. It's ketchup. If you're serving anything else, you're doing it wrong. Wow.

All right, this makes up for the routine day. There you go. I agree. And I'm going to say with all things considered, for what it is, I'm going to go ahead and give it four and a half forks, four and a half forks. Very good score. Go ahead, Mitch. That's a great score.

I think I think that on its own, the roast beef sandwiches. I think that I think that people are very specific about that, too. There's some areas that that like on the east coast that can do a roast beef sandwich really well and they're known for that. And yeah, some place in Quincy. No, I'm not even saying I'm not even saying Quincy dad boner and Quincy. Maybe I will move home and open up dad's boner. I'm not even in Quincy.

I there's Kelly's roast beef in in Boston, but I but I am a you know it, but I that's I think that this is probably on par with with with Kelly's right. I'll get shit for that, but who cares? I think that the roast beef sandwiches by themselves are good. They're higher quality of Arby's and I would maybe even give it for forks or high three. No, I probably will give it for forks just on the roast beef alone. Right? The chicken sandwich in the concrete's altogether and when I was putting the

spice on the curly fries, I was just having a great time and at my early, my my earlier visit with with Armin and Harris, we were we were we were wrong. I got to tell Armin about this and I wish I could tell Harris this place is this place is great. It's a bitch. He knows he's listening to dough boys in heaven. Yeah. No, he's not. I mean, no, an in heaven. He is not with. He is not with Anton Scalina. Let me say that.

Let me make that fucking clear. I wish we had known because we would have been going to this place way more often. If I want to, if I want some sort of ice, ice cream treat in L.A. that this is going to be one of the first places that pops into my mind because so it's so different to from like we were talking salt and strong those other places. It just it is like a Dairy Queen fun kind of ice cream, but just delicious right and the chicken sandwich way better than sorry way better than chick filets. I really, really, really enjoyed this visit and you know what

confession time I was with the Meg and even the Meg was stuffed with the amount of food that we got. Wow that concrete alone could stuff the Meg if this if in the movie if they dropped one of the concrete into the ocean Meg would spring into fucking concrete, drop it right on a fucking head when they blow up the shark and jaws equivalent. The Meg would have been satisfied, slam away. We're going to need a bigger concrete. I'm gonna go four and three quarter and four forks three times. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Very good score. Yeah. Top round roast beef succeeds at everything it attempts to

do. It is as far as this chain is attempting to be a plus stop version of Arby's it knocks out of the park. It's so it's so so good at doing that. Every sandwich I had I liked to loved. I really, really enjoyed the fries were great. The concrete was great. I'm not going to fuck around. This is one of the easier five forks I've had in a while. This is this place is fucking great. They do everything is is awesome. I think this place I my personal vote is that this place belongs to the platinum plate club. I'm happy to have it in the golden plate club. He's mad at us now. I'm not mad at you guys. You guys have your you

guys have your takes your takes are fine. But I think this is this is an elite option for a fast cat a fast service in in LA. If you're visiting the city, make a trip to top round. If you live in the city and haven't been there, make a trip to it. And if you live in San Francisco or Kentucky or Texas and you're near nearby a top round, try it out. I assume that with a small number of locations that they have, it hasn't the quality, hopefully hasn't dipped. But at least the original one is fucking great. It's just so, so good. I'm so glad we went here. I praise you for choosing it and forcing us to finally go. I am so glad

with his reaction. So because if you guys were like, yeah, it's OK, my sandwich, I pretty sure I found a pub in my country. Sorry, guys, but no, this is a huge success for me personally, my family and the show. Would you say it's bowing to you right now? Would you say it's the greatest career success of your career? I would. I would say the last hour is is the highlight of my career. I cannot thank you guys enough. But God, well, that was our review of top round. Russ beef. It's time for a regular for a new segment. We've got I can Mike. We're going to have some Mike and Ike's. What this is Mike and Ike

sick and twisted festival of Candy Mation. That's good. So what we've got here? You know what? What is this segment called? Mike and Ike sick and twisted festival of Candy Mation. Do you remember Spiky Mike's animation? Oh, God. You are a fucking you are a loser. So you sung. We got a few different flavors. Talk us through what you what you bought for us here. OK, there is literally one box left of the Mike and Ike caramel apple. OK, and then I got a look discussed. They look gross. Just green and brown pills. I got I got the mega mix and then I think the original fruit mega mix. The original fruit. So this

looks like the original fruits right here. That's a fruit. That's mega mix. And this is cinnamon apple. How do you feel about Mike and Ike's in general? I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan of any. I don't eat a ton of candy. But when I do, it better have chocolate and better have fucking peanut butter. I even like you. I love gummy bears and I like I like sometimes fruity chewy candies. But Mike and Ike's just have never I've never been excited about Mike and Ike's. They're better than good and plenty's, which are the fucking worst. Good and plenty's are like, oh, you like Mike and Ike's. What if they all tasted like

black licorice, which, by the way, speaking of Amsterdam, that's like their favorite thing. They call it drope. And it makes you want to drope a fucking safe on your head. I'm going to try a cinnamon apple. I just had some of the mega mix. It's fine. You know, it's just sort of a generically tart and fruity. I don't think I think I think I might be spitting these. I don't know if I'm going to I'm going to swallow because they're just so chewy. Are you supposed to eat Mike and Ike's all together like a handful of them at the same time? No, that would ruin the flavors. I will say I ate a caramel one. Not

caramel. Really good. I mean, interesting. I mean, not good enough to eat the whole thing. But not like super chemically, they actually taste like caramel. This is the original, I could tell. That's the original. And then I'm going to take I'm going to take a couple of originals here. I'm taking a green guy and a red guy. The red guy really tastes like Robotus. They take so long to eat. Yeah, that's the issue. There's so much chewing. Can I see the mega mix? Let's see what I'm eating. Oh, yeah, it's like, which is pineapple. Man, our ASMR audience is fucking creaming right now. People who listen for the chewing

sounds, they fucking love this shit. Fuck Mike and Ike's. Yeah, these are bad. I don't like these. Let me try the caramel apple ones. That's the one I haven't sampled. I think that's the best of the bunch, even though the apple is like so tart. Yeah. This thing is, do you guys remember there was a few years ago, there was a there was a Mike and Ike's campaign where they tried to play it. They tried to set up a beef between Mike and Ike. Do you remember this at all? Their friendship is the reason people buy the candy. Exactly. Yeah. So they tried to like it was like Mike and then the Ike would be like crossed out. It was like

just mikes for a while or something like that. That's like when I hop was like, we're called I hop now. Oh, yeah, famous for burgers. I have to cleanse my palate with a take five. Good call. I'm having a hard time opening and I'm having a little bit of food panic. I will say the green apple tastes like green. I'm a opens. I'm a opens every package for us. This is Emma. She opens my food for me because I can't do it. Yeah, the apple is not good. The caramel though is the only one that I was like, I could eat a couple. Caramel is not bad. That's I will say this flavor combo. That's the one that like it makes the most

sense. Yes. And it actually feels like, oh, okay, you're you're trying to do caramel apple and you're kind of pulling it off. Yeah. The other two I think are just fucking whack. I think these are I think these are these are completely sick and twisted. I'm not into these at all. I can't believe that I like. I can't believe that I like the caramel apple wants the best. They look like the grossest ones. They look this. They look like future food. They look like those little pills that you would swallow to be full all day and in like fifties futurism now take five bar. Yeah, I mean, that's a huge balance. Everything's

in balance. It's the best. It's one of the I agree that you top three. You came out with a lot. You came out with a lot of big opinions, big opinions, hot takes today, but I could take the take five being in the top three I'm on board with take five more like top three. Anything redeeming about these at all? I think these are just like if you like this kind of candy, I think you're like this is for kids. I think kids like this. I don't know any adult to be Kaling kind of stuff she likes. Oh, wow. Interesting. Mike and Ike's or like she would always eat like sour

straws. Oh, wow. That's so bad. That I can understand more than a Mike and Ike because a Mike and Ike is just like in this neutral like I get the sour sensation. I get wanting that for my candy. This is just sort of like neutrally sweet. It's just kind of nothing. I'm going to I'm going to go. I'm going to go soft snack on the caramel caramel apples, but then that's the rest whack. I'm calling them all straight whack. Straight whack for me too. Well, that was Mike and Ike's sick and twisted festival candy mation segment. We probably won't do again. It's just like a restaurant value feedback. Let's

up on the feedback. No shit. We're not going to do it again. I mean, if he comes back and there's new Mike and Ike's, yeah, maybe first or yeah, or a different candy. This is a segment only for when he's here. All right, fine. It's a one on, but I'm asking you not to do it again. Please. And also tell you something. He's never coming back to this fucking shit show. I'll come back. You just put the cats in a little, you know, yeah. That's fair. I won't answer the door with the camera. It was great. We've never had, we've had, we've had guests that were, I mean, most of our guests are miserable, but we've never

had a guest in as much physical discomfort. So thank you for bearing with us. We'll open up the feedback now. Today's email comes to us from Jonathan. Jonathan writes, I just remembered a time when I didn't have any regular milk forcing me to use strawberry milk while making mac and cheese. It resulted in what you might expect, a pink, somewhat sweet bowl of noodles and white cheddar. It was not disagreeable, but absolutely tasted improvised, leading me to my question. Were you ever forced to use an odd ingredient in a dish? How did it turn out? Best Jonathan Burger Brigade member? Oh, I like that, Jonathan.

The, that sounds gross. Strawberry milk and mac and cheese sounds awful. That's fucking disgusting. I, you know, one thing I've, I've, I've done before, and this doesn't quite qualify because it kind of works out, but you can use, you can substitute like apple sauce for like sugar. If you're baking things I've used, I've done that before and it actually kind of works. But in terms of something I've, I've, I've that has been kind of fucked up because I'm trying, because I had to have an improvised ingredient. I'm trying to, to think of anything. Anything come to

mind for you guys? I, I make guacamole a lot and it's very important you have a little burst of citrus in your guacamole to cut the fat. And I forgot to get limes and we were like running out and I just took like a, like a orange juice and poured a little bit of orange juice in there. And it just, it just made it guacamole taste like you spilled orange juice in it. Like, and not like, like a splash. Like someone's like, Oh, did you like knock over a tub of orange juice? So I would say it would, it's almost better if you're going to do that in the

future. It's almost better to like put in like a little, half a teaspoon of like vinegar or something. It's just something really sweet, like orange juice. Right. I can, I know that sometimes like you can use sour cream instead of, right? Like you can use sour cream and like mashed potatoes or something, but I, I don't cook enough that I don't, I've never had a replacement thing where I've, where I've done anything like this. I don't have anything. I don't, I got nothing for you. Never like accidentally made a sandwich and put in a shoe. Yeah.

Yeah. If you notice, I just have one sneaker on. No, I, I, I, I, I got, I got zero. I really have zero. I mean, I know that I like the, the, the sour cream instead of like milk or something, I think is like a thing with mashed potatoes or right or something like that. Yeah. I've used, I've used sour cream and scrambled eggs. That works. Yeah. That's delicious. Yeah. Actually they do that on the Sopranos. Yes.

That's how Ralphie does it. That's Ralphie's trick. My, my trick, my mum uses water. She, that works. Yeah. She does water and no milk. My grandma does that as well. Yeah. That absolutely works. Um, but uh, yeah, I, I mean, you know, that's a, that's an excellent question though, Jonathan. Hey, if you out there, I'm not even like a good, I'm trying to think of a good food Frankenstein thing where like I, and I don't even have that, like a, like a, I

follow the rules when it comes to, when it comes to cooking, I don't, I don't, I don't really break any rules. I just, I go with the, with the craft, macaroni cheese. If you use like the fourth, fourth stick of a quarter stick of butter and like a quarter cup of milk, like they tell you to or whatever. It's insane. It's like the perfect creaminess. It comes out great creaminess. And you shouldn't like it. You shouldn't break the rules with that. It tastes, it tastes perfect. So yeah, I don't know what's my cooking philosophy. I do as I'm told. That's right. I play by the rules. If you out there have a, have a

similar experience to Jonathan, hashtag kitchen improv fail. Let us know. Let us know what, what, uh, what worked out. I'm not talking about something that went a, a, a, a, a Ryan helping hands way, way, what a kitchen improv fail. Oh God. I mangled that. I've, you have a question. No, no, no, you didn't. We'll leave it in. You can email us at doboyspodcast.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 go do that's 830 463 6844. And to get the doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, join the golden or platinum plate club at patreon.com slash doughboys. Ike Baron holds you are a prince for giving us so much use, so

much of your time. Now is your time to plug what you would like to plug. Uh, church, Scientology, uh, no, no, um, uh, go see my movie. I made a movie called the oath. It's in theaters, I think still. So go see that. And, uh, oh, when is this coming out? This will be out in the second week of November. Okay. So elections already over. Yeah. So, uh, oh God, fucking go back in time and vote. That's my, my plea. I'm begging you. Don't make me move to Canada and eat their fucking shit, Poutine. They'll do it for this episode of doughboys next time for the Spoonman

Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weigher. Happy to see you up. Hey, San Diego, we're doing a live show at the House of Blues on Friday, November 30th. For tickets and info, go to head gum.com slash live and look for doughboys. Surf's up. See you there, buddy. Now you're speaking my language. That was a headgum podcast.