Doughboys - Tournament of Chompions: Eat-in Minisode - ??? v. ???

Episode Date: March 10, 2016

In a surprise #MunchMadness 2016 matchup, Mitch and Wiger roll without a guest as two mystery box chains vie for the 6-seed in the Burger Brawl.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://pat...reon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Here comes a new challenger. It's a surprise sudden death showdown as the two burger chains just outside the hallowed halls of the Golden Plate Club battle for the sixth slot in Munch Madness 2016. The Tournament of Chompians, Burger Brawl. This week on a special Doe Boys Eatin' Mini-Sode, it's Burger King versus Five Guys. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weigher alongside my already-signed co-host, the Spoonman Mike Mitchell. How you doin', Mitch?
Starting point is 00:00:52 Doing well, I just want to say what's up to Spoon Nation on a little special mini-sode. Our phones are not cooperating. You know what? I had an issue getting the verses to play, there's a substantial delay there, you can't get your drop to play. I mean, we could just edit this all, but you sold me down the river piece of shit. We could edit that part, too. Well isn't that special indeed?
Starting point is 00:01:47 Oh no, now it's an episode of Comedy Bang Bang. We're gonna get into legal trouble. We literally can't play. All right, there we go, that was my drop, and what a good drop it was, and that came from FraunSolo at TrophyUncle. Thanks Fraun, I appreciate it. And hey, if you send me a drop, I'll play it and I'll give you a shout out, or if you send me a drop and I missed it, tweet at me, tell me I missed it.
Starting point is 00:02:20 Here's the thing, I can't edit these ding things together, so it's hard for me to make these drops or get people to make these drops for me. And they add so much to the show, too. I mean, the show is a waste of time, so why not waste more time by making a drop? Anyways, let's get to the mini-sode. Speaking of wasting time. Let's not waste any more at the top. Let's get into this discussion.
Starting point is 00:02:47 So this is akin to the play-in game of the NCAA tournament when two teams vie for that 16th seed, that they're gonna go in and play against that number one seed. This is what we're doing here. We've got Burger King and Five Guys, our two top-rated burger chains that are not in the Golden Plate Club. That's right. That's the ones we've reviewed. And we thought they would be fun little play-in, it's like that tournament, except not really
Starting point is 00:03:11 exciting at all. Yeah. The stakes are much lower. No athleticism. But yeah, we thought that these two were the outliers that deserved a chance to play into the tournament. Yeah, and I will say, going in, and I want to get your thoughts on this, Mitch, but for me, Burger King and Five Guys, there's a bit of a gulf between those two.
Starting point is 00:03:35 I gave Burger King three forks, and I gave Five Guys three and a half forks, but that's a big half fork for me. That's a substantial upgrade in those tiers. I either gave Burger King three and a half or three forks, I forget what I gave it. But there's a lot I like about Burger King. Five Guys, I gave it three and a half and I changed it to four, it's a tasty burger, so it's a tough competition, I'll say that much. Certainly different sectors though, because Burger King is like a down-the-middle fast
Starting point is 00:04:09 food, budget-friendly, cost-conscious option. Five Guys is a little bit more, it's up there in the premium burger sector, maybe not quite in the premium sector, but it's an upper, what word am I looking for? It's an upper-middle class burger, perhaps? Sure, yeah, I think you were looking for upper-middle class burger. I probably shouldn't put it in class terms. Yeah, we don't have to get classes. I feel like Five Guys, yeah, it feels like one of the new burger chains.
Starting point is 00:04:40 You know what? You're not going to like me when I say this, but it feels like kind of one of those in-and-out, born of in-and-out. Yeah, it's definitely, I feel like, why wouldn't I like you for saying that? You don't like me in general. I think it's that in-and-out derivative, the difference is that there's a lot more customizability at Five Guys. In-and-out is just this very staid, like three different burger options, and they all kind
Starting point is 00:05:05 of, you can customize it via the secret menu, but at Five Guys, there's like two dozen different toppings you can choose between in terms of putting it on your burgers, and they've got a few different things. They've got dogs, they've got fries seasoned different ways, so there's a little bit more customizability there. For sure, I still wish Five Guys just made a fucking burger and told you that this is the burger. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:26 What the hell? Five Guys, just make one. I'll choose that one. A default would be nice, and you know, FUD Records was recently knocked off, and they kind of are the same thing where they've got a very baseline, basic burger that you can customize to your heart's content, but they do have some pre-fab burgers that come sort of made some different ways, and it would be nice if they had a level of pre-fab beyond just cheeseburger, hamburger, bacon cheeseburger in single or double sizes.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Well, here's the thing about Burger King to me, because we're going to get right into this. Yeah. Let's do it. No one really cares for a mini-sode, or is asking for one, but guess what? We gave you a half hour of the podcast on Wednesday when you didn't even want it. No one asked for any of this, so this is like a small portion of what people didn't ask for, they were force-feeding them.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Nick and I kind of got into an argument about this mini-sode. I said, let's not do a mini-sode, that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard, and Nick said, let's do a mini-sode, it'll be something different and cool. I don't know what that voice is you're doing. That's you kind of. That's not, no, not at all. Actually, you sound more like this. Yeah, you wanted to do this mini-sode.
Starting point is 00:06:42 I said, let's just put it into a fucking two-hour packed, extreme episode of Doe Boys. Well, here's the thing, because you suggested, and I think it was a good suggestion, the idea of having a play-in game, an eat-in game. That's right. These two chains vie for the six seed. I like that suggestion, and I think it's honoring that suggestion to give it its own episode, just in the same way, it's not like they have a three-way basketball game in the NCAA tournament where they have one six seed play, one half against the one 16 seed play, one
Starting point is 00:07:14 half, and the other 16 seed play, the other half against a one seed, it's its own game. That's true. You've got to give it its own, this all just comes. I feel like people are going to unsubscribe to our podcast because of this. They might. Look, the whole thing is, I just really think this is a thing where you have some circuitous logic justifying you not wanting to do a little bit more work, and that's what I feel like this always comes down to.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Well, let's get real here. Do you want to do more work for this podcast? It's not that much. I don't mind doing a little bit more work to add a little bit of polish to the presentation. You straight A students out there. I'm far from a straight A student. Well, whatever, this mini-sode sucks. Anyways, let's get down to it.
Starting point is 00:07:56 I got to say this, Burger King, the Whopper, they claim it's the King of Burgers, right? Do they? I don't know. Did I make that shit up? Oh, whatever. They're called Burger King. Yeah. Well, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:11 They don't say Burger King, Home of the Whopper, the King of Burgers. Okay. All right. After a good start in this mini-sode. We're nine minutes in. This is the problem with the mini-sode is that it highlights how shitty our podcast is when you do it in the short little, anyways, I love the Whopper, and I feel like Burger King is, I was thinking about this, like the Billy Joel of Burger Places.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Oh boy. Like no one admits to really liking it. It's no one's favorite. Sometimes gets drunk and crashes its car into a building, got divorced from the host of the first season of Top Chef. Yeah, sure. I mean, you're drunk when you eat it sometimes. That's true.
Starting point is 00:09:02 It's a little stale, no one admits to really liking it, but it can sometimes really hit a nice note, if you know what I mean, just like Billy Joel. Yeah. Oh Jesus Christ, where am I going with this? I feel like it's a thing that when I eat the Whopper, when I have that Whopper with cheese, which I ate for this episode, for this mini-sode, it's a fucking really good sandwich. It's one of those things where if you have a Whopper and you haven't had one in a while,
Starting point is 00:09:37 you're like, boy, I haven't had this sandwich for the longest time. Yeah. See, this is why I compared it to Billy Joel. Yeah, it tracks. It really follows. I like the Whopper. I think the Whopper is very solid. For me, it's like I associate Burger King with when I have to have a meal.
Starting point is 00:10:02 For me, I never feel like Burger King is the thing I'm going out of the way to be like, oh, I'm going to have Burger King. It's like, oh, there's a Burger King. That's fine. I had a job that was adjacent to a Burger King. I think we got into this a little bit on the Burger King episode where it was just right across the street from me and probably once a week, once every two weeks, I ended up venturing this Burger King for lunch.
Starting point is 00:10:19 It's never like an outstanding meal. It's just like sort of an adequate meal. I guess, and I don't want to get ahead of myself in terms of judgment, but that feeling comes into, well, why are we putting this thing in the tournament of chompions? If we're talking about this Eden match and we're deciding whether or not Burger King or Five Guys, this Burger King, this longstanding kind of adequate middling chain and this perennial second banana, and then you've got Five Guys kind of this upstart kind of hungry. It's been around for 15, 20 years.
Starting point is 00:10:54 It's given us something new on the burger scene. That to me feels like that's what we want in the tournament of chompions. Well, I'm going to stick with my Billy Joel comparison. It's a classic, baby. Sure. We're not, this chomping chip, as you came up with, is to say, what's the best burger and how all the parts work together? And that's what it's all about.
Starting point is 00:11:26 So when I grab my Whopper with Cheese, I usually grab a packet of red, a packet of white. Oh my God. That's ketchup and mayo. So you ask for packets of ketchup and mayo on the side? I do. I do. Okay. I hope that this mini soda's never released.
Starting point is 00:12:00 So I also ate it at both places, and I really enjoyed my Five Guys experience. I will say that. And I want to just be clear, because at Five Guys, I got the Double Cheeseburger, lettuce tomato, raw onion, mayo, mustard, ketchup, large Cajun fries, and a regular size drink. It was a Cherry Vanilla Coke Zero. And I just want to remind you, Mitch, you may have already forgotten the rules of the tournament of chompions, but sides stay on the sidelines. That's true.
Starting point is 00:12:32 And drinks are in the Gatorade container, which is also on the sidelines. That's right. So we're just talking burgers. But I just wanted to be clear with everyone and to get that out of the way. With my Whopper, I got the Whopper with cheese. And I did, I had a 7-Eleven Cherry Diet Coke Freeze Slurpee drink with the Whopper, which was from 7-Eleven. They do have some fun frozen drinks at Burger King.
Starting point is 00:12:56 They do. This one was actually from 7-Eleven, but I just want to be clear of what I was eating with for any Doughboy purists out there. I just wanted to get that out of the way. And with Carl's Jr., I also had a small Coke Zero. I didn't say this last time. It was on my brain. So what was the other one that we did?
Starting point is 00:13:16 Oh, Fudruckers. Yeah. I also had a Cherry Coke Zero. So I just want to get those out of the way because the drinks are on the sideline, but if people think this can affect your eating, I want to let people know. Well, I'm glad because, Mitch, all I've been dealing with on Twitter is people fucking pissed that you didn't disclose what beverage you had during the Fudruckers episode. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Anyway, here's my thoughts. Is Five Guys boring? Is it a boring burger? It's good. Yeah. It's really tasty. I really, really liked it. And I couldn't tell whether it, like I said, it was a double cheeseburger.
Starting point is 00:13:56 It doesn't have a signature aspect, which maybe that comes down to, again, they don't have, like, their own burger. There's not, like, a signature part of Five Guys, really. The experience this time around, as compared to last time, was better. But this is just about the burger. The burger is good. It's a tasty, really good, well-made burger. I just don't care that much.
Starting point is 00:14:22 And I know I'm going to get torn apart for this by listeners because there's a lot of people out there who are upset with our Five Guys ranking. I gave it four forks after I changed my ranking. But rating, I like Five Guys. I just, I don't know if that's like, if I want them in the mood for a burger, I just don't think I'm going to Five Guys. You want something that's going to grab you? I want something that's going to grab me.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Yeah. Yeah. And it doesn't do that. And meanwhile, I will say, the Whopper is just, it's, with the Whopper with cheese, it's just such a great combination of condiment. They just, they have it down to a science, similar to McDonald's, but you get, you know, you get the pickles and onion and ketchup and mayo, and it's just that, that combination just works really, really well on it.
Starting point is 00:15:16 The cheese is just perfect on there and that, you get that flame broil taste. It kind of, it reminds me, you know, like when we were talking about Carl's Jr. and I had that upset last week, it's a similar thing where it's, it's not a really juicy patty, but it just, it really works. Sometimes, just the combination of everything works really well. And if the bun, if you get a fresh one, I feel like that's like the big, like sometimes you get like a kind of a stale tasting Burger King bun. Yeah, I don't think freshness is their key attribute.
Starting point is 00:15:49 Yeah. Much like Billy Joel, they've been on, some of their components have been on the shelf for a while. Oh, I thought you were going to say the longest time. Oh, I could have gone back to, I could have called back longest time. That would have been better. No, it's best we leave that, the Billy Joel. You don't want to, you want to punch that up?
Starting point is 00:16:05 No, we're good with that, like forever. I know that BK can be all around, can be lacking quality, but the Whopper is a great, great burger. Yeah. And it's delicious. I like that flame broiled and smoky patty, that kind of Carl's Jr. deal. I love it. I think that is the best attribute of Burger King is that sort of smokiness that, whether
Starting point is 00:16:33 it's synthetic or whether it actually is from the grill, like it has like a charbroiled, not charbroiled, flame broiled flavor. I don't know what the distinction is, but they call it flame broiled, Carl's calls it charbroiled. It definitely tastes, has a distinct taste to that beef and it comes through in their sandwiches. My recent trips, I got the Big King from Burger King. I feel pretty well versed in the Whopper.
Starting point is 00:16:58 I've had the Big King before. If you don't know, the Big King is their Big Mac rip off. I'll read their description. I like that sandwich. Yeah. It's a good sandwich. Two savory flame grilled beef patties topped with melted American cheese, fresh cut iceberg lettuce, crisp crisp onions, crunchy pickles and featuring a sweet Thousand Island style
Starting point is 00:17:15 dressing all on a warm toasted sesame seed bun. Tasty. I will say the Burger King, it was during lunch rush and it was the location that's on Pico Boulevard, which is right near Santa Monica College, so a lot of students are going in there. It was very crowded. But the Big King I received looked like it was hastily assembled by a blind child. It was just a mess of just lettuce and cheese and the patties were completely opposite ends.
Starting point is 00:17:43 It's got a middle bun and the middle bun had completely overtaken one of the patties. It just didn't look like a presentable sandwich. It was pretty far from what you would see in their advertising campaigns. Okay. It's still tasty. A good interpretation of that kind of Big Mac style burger. Definitely a lot of that flame grilled component comes through. The flame grilled flavor profile comes through from the beef component.
Starting point is 00:18:08 I really like that. Also incidentally, since we're talking about our things that aren't burgers, I'll add that I got the chili cheese dog. It was my first experience having the new BK grilled dogs. Hey, sides on the side. Yeah. It stays on the side. I mean, this is a main, but it's not a burger.
Starting point is 00:18:23 So I'd say that's also, mains that aren't burgers should stay in Maine, which doesn't have a competitive college basketball franchise. Or yeah, it has a football team. It doesn't have a football team. It doesn't have a NFL team. It doesn't have, Maine has no professional team. So yeah, mains that aren't burgers stay in Maine, which is on the sidelines from sports. That sounds like something I would come up with.
Starting point is 00:18:50 Also, I now understand why you wanted this mini-sode so you could take down blind children. What the fuck was wrong with you? Look, nothing against any children out there struggling with a lack of vision impairment, more power to you. Maybe you're a listener to the podcast. Yeah. Welcome to Spoon Nation. Wait, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:19:18 Mitch, I think you might be rushing to defend blind children because you like how they can't see you coming. Oh my God. Oh my God. All right. This mini-sode was a bad idea. This is the darkest mini-sode. This is too much.
Starting point is 00:19:39 The big king was good. It's a good sandwich. If I got that at an airport burger king, I'd be like, all right, this is fine. I'm not getting the job done. Again, it's workman-like and that's kind of how I feel about it. Your dream, the Burger King airport. I've done it before. No, I'm saying a Burger King running an airport would be your dream.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Running an airport. Five guys. Conversely, I got the cheeseburger. Just keep in mind when you get the cheeseburger, you get the hamburger at Five Guys, the bacon cheeseburger, it's a double burger. By default, it comes with two patties. You have to get a little burger if you want one patty. You get two patties.
Starting point is 00:20:17 They come cooked juicy and well done, which is their verbiage. It has American cheese. I got mine with mayo, relish, raw onion, lettuce, and mustard, which was a loose approximation of kind of that Big Mac style burger. Not really exactly, but kind of a loose approximation of it. I got to say, this was really, really good. The meat was really juicy. I know you talked about juiciness possibly being a category image.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Definitely, this is one that would have scored a lot of basketballs and juiciness. Really good. Cheese was good. Just that perfect amount of melt to it. Bun was fine. The toppings were good. I like getting that raw onion sometimes. I feel like they have kind of fresh tasting produce there, and that goes a long way.
Starting point is 00:21:04 That's true. They do. Though I will say that my Whopper order had the ingredients tasted just fine. But it's a crapshoot, right? I feel like sometimes at Burger King, you're getting the stuff that feels like it's been sitting in that walk-in fridge for a couple of weeks. Other times, it feels like maybe they just got a new shipment of fresh produce and you're getting something a little bit more that tastes a little better.
Starting point is 00:21:23 Fair enough. I don't know. I feel like Five Guys is more likely, they're just on different ends of the burger spectrum. You've got one that's like a higher end burger. You've got one that's kind of like this lower end, price conscious, budget friendly burger. I feel like if we're talking about which one is superior, maybe at this point this is where we should get to our evaluations. To recap, our categories are we're going from zero to 10 basketballs in creativity presentation,
Starting point is 00:21:52 condiments bun, and burger taste. I'll go ahead and start. Oh, and then our deciding factor, are we still sticking with which one would you send to the aliens? The monstars? Yeah. It doesn't have to be the monstars. We're just saying this is something that we're giving to the aliens to prove our worth
Starting point is 00:22:11 as humanity. Okay, yeah. Our guest from our previous episode, Fudd Records vs. Carl's Junior Hardys, Jess McKenna came up with a system. Yeah. What are the gray ones? What are the gray aliens called? There's a name for them.
Starting point is 00:22:23 What do you mean like the others? No, they're gray heads or something. Oh, the grays. The grays, yeah. You mean like the ones that people see when they have paranormal experiences in the real world? I think it's called the grays. Yeah, the grays.
Starting point is 00:22:39 That sounds right. Okay, so what are we giving to the gray? Which hot brown are we giving to the cool grays? For me, do you want me to go first? Oh, yeah. I was going to start up, but feel free to go first. All right. So presentation, can you give me those things again?
Starting point is 00:22:55 Yeah, I'll give you your categories which you came up with. Creativity slash presentation. Okay, creativity slash presentation. Here's the deal. Five guys is not creative because they just make you make your own fucking burger. I'm sorry to get upset about this. And they don't present it well. They wrap it in tinfoil, throw it in a bag.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Burger King created the whopper. Their presentation is better. I didn't have a sloppy burger, but I'm going to go six basketballs for five guys. Seven for Burger King. Okay. Next is a condiment slash bun. Okay. I think the bun, because you can get a stale bun there, my bun tasted well, but it tasted
Starting point is 00:23:39 pretty good. But I think five guys probably beats Burger King with the bun. But I know you can get any condiments you want, but Burger King gives you those condiments with the whopper. And they do a damn good job of mixing it. It's one of the best parts of the whopper. I'm going Burger King seven, five guys six basketballs. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:00 And then the last category, burger slash taste. Okay, burger slash taste, which is the big one. For me, five guys has taken this category. And it's taken the category eight to seven, eight to seven basketballs. Wow. Okay. So it seems like a slight edge to a slight edge in basketballs over all the five guys. What was your creativity presentation?
Starting point is 00:24:24 I think Burger King is winning by one basketball. It's a slight edge. Okay. We'll hold off on which would you send to the aliens. We'll disclose that in just one minute. For me, creativity presentation. They're both pretty uncreative. I would say Burger King.
Starting point is 00:24:40 I don't know. I feel like even their special promotions are not particularly creative. I feel like their presentation is always just like a little sloppy, a little rough around the edges and not in a good way. Like I think Carl's Jr. is. A little bit. It's also just a fucking sloppy mess at five guys. That's, you know, it's like a choice, but it's just a big sloppy mess you're getting
Starting point is 00:24:58 there. Definitely not creative. I feel like I'll give five basketballs to Burger King, six and a half basketballs to five guys. All right. Condiments, bun, eight basketballs, five guys. I think I'm going five basketballs for Burger King. Wow.
Starting point is 00:25:19 I just feel like the condiments and bun are oftentimes the weaker components at Burger King. I don't want to go down to four because I don't necessarily have a negative perception of it, but I might go to four basketballs. There's definitely a big gap there. I feel like that's a big win for five guys. Wow. Burger taste.
Starting point is 00:25:35 I got to say, you know, I'd revisited Burger King a few times since our previous evaluation of it. My opinion has not really changed. It's maybe gotten a little bit, if anything, it's declined a little bit and I'm not enthusiastic about Burger King to begin with. Five guys. That was positive on, maybe not quite as positive as some listeners would like, but I think if I was going to re-score it based off of this visit, this was my first visit since we
Starting point is 00:26:02 evaluated this in January with Jeff Dutton, I would go up to four forks overall. Wow. And for that, and the primary reason is the burger slash taste of five guys, which I think is nine basketballs. I would give seven basketballs to Burger King, and that's primarily because of just that flame grilled taste, I think is pretty good from the patty. But overall, I feel like the whopper is good, but most of their sandwiches are just kind of middling.
Starting point is 00:26:30 This is almost a revisionist that gets it into the Golden Plate Club, if Dutton changes mind. I will say, I enjoyed my experience of five guys. The Cajun fries were really great. I was with friend of the podcast, Evan Susser. Sure. It was a good time. All right.
Starting point is 00:26:46 So let's mitch. I think we already, I already feel like I know which way we're going to score, but we'll do it this way. One finger will be Burger King, two fingers will be five guys, we'll hold them up at the same time. You want to count us in? One finger is Burger King. Oh, we just say it at the same time.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Oh, that's good. That's actually better. Yeah. Yeah, let's just do that. Okay. You want to count us in? Yeah. So it's three, two, one sort of thing?
Starting point is 00:27:07 Yeah. Three, two, one. Five guys. Okay. We're knotted up. So here's the thing. Here's the thing. I know people are going to get mad at me for this.
Starting point is 00:27:15 Yeah. But it's about the burger. And the whopper is King, baby. I don't know what to say. Yeah. I really enjoyed my five guys' experience. People are going to be mad at me and people are going to leave Spoon Nation, but if you leave Spoon Nation, you are never really a part of it, you piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:27:28 And also, I got to go with my heart on this one. And I really, really enjoyed the five guys' burger, but I'm probably going to get a whopper with cheese. I swear. I'm not going to go out of my way to go wait in line with no drive-thru at five guys for one of their burgers. They could use a drive-thru. You know, I would say, Mitch, I applaud you sticking to your guns in the face of what is
Starting point is 00:27:57 going to be a wave of criticism that you haven't seen since you declared that you didn't like the Force Awakens. But as far as I'm concerned, you know, Burger King is fine, but in a lot of ways, it's pretty much just like a real estate novelist that never had time for a wife. Is that bad? I don't know. It feels like that real estate novelist never really achieved his dreams and never really found love, you know?
Starting point is 00:28:24 It's just kind of a drift. I gotcha. All right, so we've got a tie. Luckily, we have a tiebreaker planned for. I'm putting in a call right now to friend of the podcast and tournament commissioner Evan Susser. Let's see if we can get him on the phone. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:28:38 He ate at all these restaurants. Oh, my God. Hey, Susser, you're on with me and Mitch. So we knotted up in the Burger King versus Five Guys Mini-Sode, which Mitch is still very unhappy that we had to do period. And we're just wondering what your assessment would be if you want to go ahead and give us your verdict and you'll serve as the tiebreaker. So Five Guys Burger King.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Well, not hearing any of the arguments. Fortunately, I did have a feeling this could happen, so I did eat at Burger King and Five Guys in the last week, only because I knew this could come up. Yeah, only because. You know, I think I'm going to have to defer to the wonderfully established McKinna Doctrine from the first episode. Which one do you send to the aliens? Yes, which one do you send to the aliens?
Starting point is 00:29:36 We decided that this episode it's the grays. We're giving it to the grays. The grays? Yes. Yeah. And you know, look, Burger King is an international chain. I don't think that's a coincidence. I think that's because it is a great export to the world.
Starting point is 00:29:56 You're not going to disappoint the aliens, the grays, if you give them a Burger King Whopper. Though some people may prefer the Five Guys Burger, I think I'm going to give it to Burger King. Wow. I'm outraged. This is an outrage. I didn't know who was on which side.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Obviously for me, you know, I'm a Maryland, DC area, born and bred. That's where Five Guys is from. I have loyalty to Five Guys. So I also have had experiences with people who seemingly got sick from Five Guys. So I don't know. I mean, look, it's hard. Like I said, I thought that maybe this was a possibility and it was really tearing me up, thinking about it.
Starting point is 00:30:54 But I do think Burger King, as far as what is a hamburger, consistently delivering something that's going to make people universally happy, I think you got to give it to Burger King. I mean, it says it right there in the name. All right. Hey, Susser, I'm going to let you go. I'm disappointed, but I will abide by your ruling. Thank you for giving us your time. Thank you for eating all these burgers.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Hey, I'm happy to do it for the podcast. All right. See you later, Commissioner. Wow. I'm shocked. I could have sworn as a, again, you know, it's from, he mentioned it, but Five Guys is from where he's from. It's from Maryland, D.C.
Starting point is 00:31:38 I could have expected him to be loyal to Five Guys. I expected either of you to have a shred of common sense. Burger King, this is insane to me. It's insane. I mean, for me, this, I mean, he's so kind of turned out better. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Wow.
Starting point is 00:31:57 This is crazy. This is, whoa, this is going to echo through the podcast community. This, to me, is like picking private select cola over a Coke. Like you're taking like the grocery store cola that people only get as a compromise and taking that over a premium product. You whatever. The only, I guess the thing that comes out of this, if I'm going to retcon my ratings, I will say that I'm going to officially say Five Guys is Four Forks and I like Five Guys
Starting point is 00:32:25 more now. I understand the Five Guys sympathizers. I'm with you. Mitch, for some reason. Susser, for some reason. Oh, you're trying to throw us under the bus. Think Burger King is better. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:32:35 You know, take it up with them. I love Five Guys, man. Take it up with them. It's, hey, if we're going to send a burger to the grays, it's going to be the Whopper with cheese, man. All right. Well, that's our decision. That's official.
Starting point is 00:32:46 And moving on into the next round versus Steak and Shake, the three seed, the official six seed Burger King. That'll do it for this mini-soad of Dough Boys. Until next time, for The Spoon Man making Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. Serial audio.

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