Doughboys - Tournament of Chompions: McDonald’s v. Popeyes with Armen Weitzman

Episode Date: March 16, 2017

Munch Madness 2017 progresses into the semifinals, as the Doughboys welcome back dear friend Armen Weitzman (Love, Another Period), who issues a clarifying statement regarding rumors of his alternate identity. Armen gets real with the ‘boys, and the trio attempt to divine the best chain chicken in a matchup between McDonald’s McNuggets and Popeyes. Plus, a tour of London snacks via Mitch’s recent European adventure, in a new segment, Snackarchy in the UK. Make YOUR chompion predictions @ www.feralaudio.com/chompions2017Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In 2010, a viral news item showed an industrial pump dispensing thick pink slime, allegedly the production process for McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. While Snopes has debunked the connection, noting the chain stopped using this type of mechanically separated chicken in favor of all white meat in 2004, the allegations stuck, partially because the McNugget, a more processed derivative of popcorn chicken, is an engineered foodstuff far removed from the bone-in fried chicken dish that was its forebearer. Southern fried chicken came into being in 18th and 19th century America, when the fat fry cooking technique of Scottish immigrants entered being with the seasoning skills of enslaved

West Africans. In the 20th century, chains like KFC and Churches took the dish to the masses, but around one of this year's tournament it was Louisiana-born Popeyes that prevailed as a fried chicken representative. So which poultry preparation method is supreme? The heavily processed nugget? Or they're much closer to its origins breaded fried bird? We'll find out as these two titans of fast food compete for the most prestigious trophy in chain restaurant competition, the Dave Thomas Cup.

This week on Doughboys, the first matchup of the semi-soft final round of Munch Madness, the Tournament of Champions, Chicken Fight, presented by Star Burns Industries, McDonald's, versus Popeyes. Let's go! Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. We're production of Feral Audio.com. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, the Spoonman Mike Mitchell. Mitch, back from London, how you doing?

Cheerio! Oh, you picked up a laugh vectatious from across the line. Cheerio, I mean goodbye, whatever. I'm back from London. I don't even know if people went. I know I went to London. Did we talk about it on the last episode? I think it may not have been confirmed on the last episode or something.

I'm back from London. I was down under. I'm back. Okay, down under is Australia. Yeah, I was gone for, I was a very short trip to London. I left on a Tuesday night, and I came back Saturday. It was a very quick, quick turnaround. Nice, quick turnaround.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You barely got time to adjust to the time change. I did not. I went on a bus tour on Wednesday. On a double decker? On a double decker. How about that? That's right.

And then I went to bed at 8 p.m. And then I shot the next two days, and then, oh, maybe I can't say what I shot for you, whatever. I'll just say, I won't say what I shot for. I shot. I definitely shot something. It may have been a big movie. No, I didn't shoot any.

I didn't shoot. I didn't shoot. Right. And it definitely is not a big movie. Okay, but it could have been. You can't say for sure if it was or it wasn't a big movie. It was, yes. I can't say whether or not it was a big movie.

Okay, but it might have been. It may have been a Bond movie. Do you know who the new 007 is? No, but I did go by, you know what's funny? I went by MI5 or whatever. Like the actual headquarters. The actual headquarters. It's just like a boring building.

Yeah. It's MI5. I was like, hey, I'm the Kona. And I was like, that looks boring and shitty. And inside they're making pens that shoot out poison and segues that turn into bombs. Do they do that? Well, they said that MI6 is there, too, but that's like. Oh, MI6.

Is that the one that does only? No, there was a different building for MI6. Right. That's kind of like, like they do international stuff, I guess. And MI5 is maybe within the country. Anyways, let me tell you MI5 best in the series. Mission Impossible 5. You're turning it to Mission Impossible.

We saw it together. We both, we saw Rogue Nation together. We did see Rogue Nation together. That was a lot of fun. You loved the scene when they were in the theater and they were dancing about and fighting on the. Oh, Mike. So meticulously staged.

I saw a movie with you. And we had a great time. I don't even remember you were just sitting there quietly. Yeah. I was sitting there quietly observing the film, which is what you're supposed to do in a theater. Stay quiet. You know, it's funny. Embrace the magic of cinema.

MI5, it's in the Bond series. Right. Mission Impossible. The Bond and Mission Impossible series kind of go at least for the Nintendo 64 people out there. I feel like they go hand in hand. Right? Oh, because you're thinking about the game Mission Impossible.

Yes. That came out after GoldenEye. And GoldenEye 007. And it was kind of a one, two, punch. And Mission Impossible people are divided on GoldenEye 007, considered a classic. Yeah. And GoldenEye 64, was that what it's called, or is it just called GoldenEye 007? I think it was GoldenEye 006.

I don't know. I honestly don't remember what the title was. It was, I think maybe GoldenEye 64. Anyways, my car got broken into before I went to London. I was freaked out. Right. I thought that Wally and Irma were going to get kidnapped or something. So I set up my pet camera.

And they live in your car. Yep, they live in my, I like Wally and Irma better than I like anything in my life, besides my mom and sis, family, and, oh, I don't know, I don't like, I don't like some family that much. I like Wally and Irma better than some family. Right. A guy went through my car. My alarm went off.

He pulled out a packet of cigarettes in my center console. Candy cigarettes. He got, he got, he, Why did you have candy cigarettes in your car? Because I'm a funny guy. I'm candy cigarettes. That's why you've got all these chattering teeth on your kitchen table and the wax lips you're wearing right now.

Classic funny guy. Yes. I'm talking with a wax lip swagger. You got me. Should we invite, should we introduce our guests? We should, we, let's introduce our guest. Can I, can I say a thing about our guest? Yes, please do.

One of my best friends in the world. A great dude. One of the funniest guys on earth. Very funny man. And all you bully is, all you bullies listening out there. This guy's just one of them. He's top notch. Okay.

Are you prompting, I think you might be prompting and inviting cyber abuse right now. No, I'm not. I think you are. I'm being honest. Introduce him. Well, you can, you can say his name. No, no, I think that my good friend is one of the funniest best guys around. A polarizing guest in the past, but a great man.

And you know him from Comedy Central's another period, Netflix's Love. Season two is streaming right now, which you're also in, Mitch. Great show. That's true. Armin Weitzman is back. Hi, Armin. Hey everybody. Buzz, buzz.

Oh my God. All right. So let's, let's get to this. So we had a guest on the podcast previously, Bug Main. He came on for our Tony Roma's episode and we know, we all know who Bug Main is. Bug Main is a good friend of all of ours. Some Reddit detectives discovered Bug Main's true identity. It's pretty easy to figure out actually.

There's a lot of clues to his, his real name has been said. That's really him. I don't know if that's him or not. It's really him, but there's a lot of clues as to who it is. And you know, he asked to come on in a pseudonym. We respected that. We're maintaining his pseudonymity. You didn't want to do it at first.

Right. You said no at first. I said no at first because I thought he was going to be an agent of chaos and he was, but he ended up being a lot of fun. But we're maintaining his, we're choosing to recognize his pseudonymity. But however, a lot of rumors were swirling about who Bug Main really is. Some people thought it was me doing like a, a split sort of scenario. Like I was doing both my voice and Bug Main in the same episode.

They thought you were doing a split. They thought I was doing a classic split. And then I like, wasn't like, whoa, Nick, like, what are you doing? No, yeah, they thought, or maybe you were in on the split. Okay. I thought they meant like actually like split where you couldn't help it and you became Bug Main. No, that it was a ruse that I was, I was playing Bug Main.

I saw that a little bit, but the rumor I saw the most was that Armin Weitzman was Bug Main and Armin, we can say on the record, that is not the case. You are not Bug Main. Uh, yes. I just want to state that a lot of people were texting me that and you know, I think it's cool. There's somebody saying Bug Main. I just was going to read this statement real fast.

That's okay. If now's the time. Okay. Wow. Hello. I am not nor have ever been Bug Main. Bug Main wants to fuck the putty of the dead. Oh my.

Armin wants to tickle the clitoris of the living. Bug Main wants bugs to thrive and fester in the forest. Armin wants the toads and frogs to eat all the bugs they can so their bellies may be full and hearty. The duality of man is such that behind every corner, there is a knock, knock, knocking of the beast inside. If Bug Main is Malcolm X, then Armin is Martin Luther King Jr. Oh, damn it.

Thank you guys. And I love being part of the Spoonerster 6. Mitch, you want to walk back what you said earlier at all? Are you going to stick to that? Armin is a known friend of man. I like that. You guys kind of are. Yeah, you're a lot like Malcolm X and oh boy.

I think so. Did Bug Main write that intro? No, I wrote that intro. I have no Tony Clifton type thing. Right. This is my own. I'm my own man. Yeah.

We have two special guests here today and they almost just walked out of the room after. Rachel and Ryan, Cornelius, good friend. They came to watch. Your last name is Cornelius? Do you want to censor your last name? You're okay with it saying it? It's okay. We can bleep though.

We'll bleep the last name. He already said it again. Sorry. Well, we can still bleep it. Hey, how about we don't discuss this right now? Okay, that's fine. I don't know. I don't want people, we had a fucking guest come on here, wanted to use a student name

the whole time. I don't know who's comfortable having their name set on the podcast. Is your name Nick Weiger? I'm trying to be respectful or a guest right here. I know. I was trying to say move on. What have you done? I'm just saying, I say the word Cornelius a lot in my life, regardless.

So if it was someone's last name, that's, but I'm saying for real, I say Cornelius a lot. He does say Cornelius a lot. And so I just think that's very cool. They're honored. They're honored. I mean, listen, I don't really, everything's very quiet and relaxed. I don't really understand.

Armand, Armand, first of all, I just want to say that Armand holds a place in his heart for the chicken nugget. Well, if we're going to look, I mean, this seems like pretty fixed race. I don't know what we're going to get into it, but let's hear it here. Here's what I want to let's take a step back because one matter of in the midst of all this chaos, we have another bit of business to add in. Friend of the podcast as Armand is suggesting is Mike right now. I can introduce via phone.

I'm calling and getting them on the line right now. This is such garbage. Friend of the podcast and tournament commissioner, Evan Susser claims to have an update on the tournament. And so I'm dialing him in right now. Armand's really struggling with that. Mike, I'm not sure what's going on right now, but let's see if we can get Susser on the phone.

Wow. What chaos for this? Dustin, is that being picked up all right? Okay, let's try this again. Susser, go ahead. Am I on the air? Yes. You're on the air.

I'm going to make a brief statement after which I'll take questions. A lot of statements being read at the top of the show. Can I just say right off the bat, you said that you weren't going to interject yourself into this tournament as much this year? So far it's been more. Yeah, it's been more. It's okay. I love the boys in Armand.

What's that? Previously, I'm getting into my statement. Okay. As previously announced on the Doe Boys Double, the unilateral decision of Mike Mitchell and Nick Weiger to name the tournament of champion's trophy after Dave Thomas creates a clear conflict of interest in the tournament. As Wendy is a participant in the tournament, the trophy being named after their founder Dave Thomas could be seen as favoritism and an attempt to stack the deck towards the franchise.

This is why he called it. Mitchell has rocked the Doe Boys community to its core, and many are calling it Mitch Gate. No. Over the past week, a committee was formed and an investigation has taken place. All disciplinary actions were considered, including sole disqualification of Wendy's from the tournament, as well as a simple verbal censure from the commissioner. Oh my God.

Instead, we have landed somewhere in the middle. For the next round of the tournament, Wendy's will still be able to participate, but the spicy chicken sandwich is suspended for the round. That's so stupid, Susser. That's okay. That's so stupid. Other chicken dishes from Wendy's must compete in its place. Items such as nuggets or chicken wraps are fair game.

Chicken wraps? What about the... Wait. Hold on. I'll let you finish your statement, but I have a follow-up question. Also, to be clear, the suspension also extends to the Spicy Asiago Club. I will not take questions. Oh no.

All right. Are you set, Susser? Yes. Yes. Yes. Did you have a question? I did have a question, which is that the Wendy's non-spicy chicken sandwich. That's up for grabs, I assume, because that feels like the closest parallel to what's

been banned. Oh my God. The non-spicy chicken sandwich is in balance, yes. Okay. Though you are also welcome to do the nuggets or the chicken wraps. Okay, so any Wendy's dish that's not specifically the spicy chicken sandwich is fair game. Or the Spicy Asiago Club. Right.

Why did you do this? All right. Thank you, Dubois and Armin. Have a good episode. I thought you were going to take questions. I think you couldn't hear you. I did take questions. Any more questions?

Mitch wants to ask, why did you do this? His words. I'm sorry. I'm not hearing that question. Can I ask a question? Why did you do this? Armin, did you say you have a question? Yes, I did.

Yes, I did. I just want to know how you're feeling. You're still with your wife? Am I still with my wife? Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing good. Like, you know, I think like many families, the Tournament of Champions puts a strain on our marriage, but I'm doing well.

How are you, Armin? Oh, no, I'm not. Well, I'm trying to be more positive, but I was in a dark place, but I'm really happy for you that this podcast, you guys are really having fun. All right. Bye, Susser. Bye, Susser. Thanks for the update.

Hey, else no, fuck you, whatever. All right. So that's, that's a big news for the next, the next episode, though, that Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich cannot be officially considered. So the, uh, whatever. I think that's fine. I think it's fine. What is it going up again?

Wendy's all the time. Wendy's will be up against, um, Wingstop. Okay. I think, I think honestly, that's, that's kind of an, I'm just, I'm not tipping my hand too much, but that's kind of an unbalanced matchup on paper. I think maybe Wendy's could use the handicap. Maybe that'll make that a little bit more competitive. All right.

You're tipping your hat a little bit though by saying that. That's what I just said. I'm, I am tipping my, that's, that's what I said. I know. I'm saying you shouldn't do that, right? Like you're going to vote for Wendy's no matter what. No, I'm not saying I'm going to vote for Wendy's no matter what. I'm just saying that Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich with the two of us and knowing our,

our fondness for Wendy's and our general kind of neutral feelings towards Wingstop. One would assume it's the heavy favor considering we're two thirds of the vote. I'm confident. We'll see what happens. You want Wingstop? No, I want Wingstop to lose. Right. I mean, I can't say anything like this.

You fool. All right. So Armin is positioned as microphone where it's sticking straight up. I'm not, is it picking you? Is it picking Armin up? Dustin? Uh, not really. Can you like, can you, Armin, can you position the microphone where it's facing your mouth?

Turn it towards your face. Turn the microphone. Yeah. It's a directional microphone. This is crazy. All right. Do you know how like how every microphone ever like you see the people holding it towards their face?

Listen, I. So it's the same principle. Armin has done live. Come on. Armin has done live comedy for 15 years. I hold it like this. Right. Well, you were holding it straight up like an ice cream cone.

Yeah. That's how I do it. That is how I do it. We'll tilt it more towards your mouth. Okay. Try. It's very funny. People think you're holding it like an ice cream.

It's a nice sight gag, but you know, we are, this is an audio medium. That's true. Guys like Seinfeld. We have two guests here that are judging me and hate me. No one's hating you. You're doing great. Have you, have you a Seinfeld, one of Seinfeld's first rules of comedy. If you hold it like an ice cream cone, you're going to, you got the crowd in your hands

already. Right. When you walk out there. Sorry. Armin. No apologies necessary. I am just confused whether I'm supposed to talk about the chicken now or my feelings about life because.

Well, let's talk about your feelings about life because we're going to get into the chicken. Sure. Well, I'm just saying guys, it's the, maybe it's time for us to be more positive. And that's, that's what I was just trying to say. I feel like I've told you this for a year. Yeah. Well, you know, it's been, it's been a weird time, but I'm just saying lately things

have been weird. And so I, I didn't want to do the podcast and I thought, I'll just do it, but I'm, you know, and so here I am. And I don't know how I ate some Popeyes. It hurts my stomach. You get the rumblies. Yeah. Well, not officially, but I know it will happen.

You're on the path to the rumblies. You were afraid to do it because your stomach is going to hurt. Armin, you things have been going well for you in the last couple of weeks. I'd say. You're on a comedy central show that people like. You're on Netflix show that people like to get a successful career. Whoa, whoa, guys. Yeah, that's very nice.

I mean, hey, you know, that's really Mitch has been doing great on love. Mitch has been doing great. This is really the season of Randy, although fan favorite Ruby is back. The character of Ruby, he's a little, he's, you'll see him. He's like, I got to go. Sorry, Paul. Sorry, Paul. Ruby's, Ruby's a little rascal.

Ruby's a rascal. That is very true. Yeah. The new season came out. Very excited about it. Armin and I are on there. It's a great show. Paul and Gillian are, are, are very, very funny and talented.

My buddy's Paul Reston. Unless we are in their show. Yep. I didn't, I've seen it. I probably wouldn't say any spoilers. That's why I stopped myself. I'm very happy to be part of it. I've only seen two episodes because I was in London.

Right. I've liked what I've seen so far. So. Is Netflix streaming it across the pond? You know what they do, but the service over there, Nick, was really hard. Yeah. There was, I had some issues with self service. Right.

I couldn't, I couldn't text or do any of that stuff when I was in London. And then when you open up your screen, like all the menu options are on the opposite side. Oh my God. Cause that's how they do it over there. They put, they drive on the other side. So the menu options are on the other side. Right. So flipped up the right side of the screen is the left and vice versa.

Speaking of switching, I bought a Nintendo switch specifically to go to London. Yeah. Like you had a little bit of a scavenger hunt to find one, but you snagged one just in time. I snagged one just in time. I was in line. I went to the Best Buy and they were sold out. Armin, you were going to come with me. Something happened in the plan where you didn't come with me.

Yeah. Yeah. I maybe was just too obsessed with getting it. Yeah. He didn't want to be in public and I wanted to get a switch. So I left him behind, but I want to, as an adult, I went to Toys R Us at 9 30 in the morning on a Sunday. Because I was leaving for London on Tuesday and Van got there about 10 minutes before

I did a Buddy Van Roby show. Buddy is a strong word. You know who? He and I saw Kong skull Island together. We had a great time. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm fascinated by what the conversation that night was between you two.

You know, Mitch, how you earlier made a snide remark about me sitting quietly and watching a film. Well, this was two men sitting next to each other quietly enjoying a film. We had a great time to two computer towers humming, heating up next to each other. Did you? Did you like this Kong? Was it like Apocalypse Now? It definitely has that kind of has that Apocalypse Now homage vibe to it.

Our buddy with Kong, our buddy Eugene Cordero's in it does a great job. Bad ass guy with a big ass gun. I love Eugene. That's good. Eugene's a great dude. Yeah. Kong skull Island's a lot of fun. A lot of fun.

Well, great monster fighting. Sorry. Go ahead. Well, he got one of Peter Jackson's two. You know, people are hard on Peter Jackson's older Kong. That's good too. There's room for all these takes on Kong. Yeah.

Give me as many Kongs as you can. Keep him coming. Keep him coming. He's awesome. He's a big gorilla. It's great. He is. I hear that the Kong in this one is very good.

Yeah. He's awesome. I think Van was complimenting the Kong of this one. He said that he was kind of more human like. It's a great Kong. He went out. He went out of his way to kind of to insult Andy Serkis. Van did.

Well, I don't know if I characterize it as an insult towards Andy Serkis. He said Serkis was too ape like in his portrayal of Kong. I think you're putting a little negative spin on that. Van said this and he should stand by what he said. He said that Serkis was too ape like in his portrayal of Kong. Well, well, we can let Van speak for himself on that. And I flew Air New Zealand to London and every Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movie was available. Arm and I know you're a big Lord of the Ring fan.

Yeah, that's great. How would you rank him? Oh, well, I think as you know, the greatest film of them is The Fellowship of the Ring. That is from start to finish is sort of a perfect movie. You like theatrical cut or extended? Well, this is a big thing. I don't know if we discussed this before, but I actually very much feel that the theatrical cuts are better. And I think that people are confused because the covers...

I feel like I talked about this like, didn't I? Whatever, the covers on the other ones look nicer. I'm just saying I made a woman watch it for the first time. A random woman? I'm saying I saw that when you have the theatrical, it flows more like a film and you know, extended's more for when you're sitting there and you're doing things and you want to watch it. I mean, two towers benefits most from the extended. Yeah, I agree with you.

I actually agree with you there and I feel like Return of the King extended is a little bloated where the theatrical cut is fine, but I like that fellowship extended as well. Yeah, but see, let me just... Can I just ask a quick question? They see elves right away and then it's like later, the suspense is way less in the extended fellowship. It really messes it up. Did you put a detour sign on your sidewalk that led into your house so that this lady walked in? Wait, did I have a divorce sign?

No, a detour sign. A detour sign on the sidewalk that led into your house so that this lady... No, this was like a cool chick that wanted to like... He's implying some... Mitch is implying some sort of pie under a net scenario where you entrap someone, but you're a lady's man. Well, no, I mean, I like... I think you're a lady's man. The ladies love you.

Our man at a show called Little Dapers Straight... Little Dapers Straight... Little Drapers. I can't say it. Little Drapers Date Nights. Right. I guess you didn't really date anyone on the show, but you brought... Well, one time I was...

Yeah, it was in... Actually, that's a sad story because actually we found out that she was not able to drink and they gave her wine on stage then we had to... Oh, no. Yes, the girl that you went on a date with was... The girl that you went on a date with in the one Drapers Date Nights was underage. Listen, she was not underage. She was like 20 or something.

She was able to drink. Underage. No, she was over 18. It was a medical condition. No, there's nothing underage happening with Arman. It was a medical condition. No, it was like she just wasn't... Oh, it was a legal thing.

So it was a legal thing. Yeah, she was 20. To drink. She was 20 years old. She was of it. Oh, my God. She was a cool chick. Just wanted to hang.

Right. And you had Draper himself on the show. Yeah, I mean, look, we're good friends. John and I, but it's funny now. On a first name basis with John Hamm. Oh, yeah. And he knows. Arman was actually in a play this last week.

This is true. Yeah. Was it Sophia Coppola? Sophia Coppola play? Well, it was... Well, Gia, who was actually the granddaughter, but this part is... She actually was... She couldn't work on it halfway through.

So we had this other person, Martha, was a great director. It was a great show. It was for supporting Planned Parenthood. Hey, how about that? I mean, we should cut this part. No, no. We can cut it if you want. A very talented guy who played in LA.

I don't know if it's going up again, but if it is, people should go out and see it. It's not. It's not. Okay. And we should never speak of it. But I'm just saying, you know, I've been changing my life. I've been really cutting all women out of my life. No more flirtations.

No more love. That sounds extreme. And since I've done that, I think my life has gotten better. Right. But I mean, that's part of your... No. That's part of what you need to live. Right?

A new companionship. Just a quick question. You certainly haven't cut your mother out, right? I haven't seen her in the last three months. Harmon. What? You're maintaining communication with her though, right? We text.

I mean, my mother, she's great. She's a real piece of work. She's kidding that he doesn't... He didn't really cut his mother out of his life. I mean, but if she... Well, she won't hear this, but she does think I don't respond to her a lot. And I am... Because they live in the same town as you.

Right. I wish my parents visited from afar. But again, this is definitely going down on the Reddit pages. Oh, it is not fair to me because if my dad was to visit from afar, it'd be pretty afar because he's passed away. Yeah, but see, that's one last present at Christmas. Jesus Christ, Armin. That's...

It was humor. It was... You were saying that I have to get one last present at Christmas? It was humor-based for fun. Also, Armin, I think the premise of that is flawed because you're suggesting that Mitch would go out of his way to buy people presents. I'm a great present giver. Oh, God.

I got my mom a Bose Mini for Christmas. Yeah, that's true. You did get... You got me some gifts for our last Christmas, which we talked about before. Yeah, no shit. No, you're... Yeah, you're right. I didn't get you anything.

You're the guy who was the bad gift giver. Okay, hold on. Hold on one second. Hey. We did a Secret Santa thing with a group of friends. You happened to get me. And what did I get you? You got me a Lakers jacket, which is very nice.

And then you also got me... We've talked about this in the podcast before. You got me a custom T-shirt that said Wyger 69 on the back of it in Lakers colors. And I think the text was something like, my name is Nick and I'm a fat, stupid asshole or fat, stupid piece of shit. I don't know the exact verbiage, but... You still have the shirt, I hope. I have the shirt, yeah.

I have the shirt and I have the jacket. I've worn the jacket. I'm not going to wear that shirt out. Why not? You should wear it out. People will think it's funny. People won't think it's funny. People will think I lost a bet.

I think I said that you're the dumbest asshole on earth or something like that. Yeah, something like that. You know where my Celtics jacket is? It's in the corner, Wally and Irma. Wally or Irma puked on it. You got to get that thing cleaned. I know. It's a great jacket.

Armin was happy that they puked on it because you guys were Lakers fans. I'm a Lakers fan, so... Got you. Let's talk about food a little bit. I've never even finished my Nintendo, whatever. Yeah, we wanted a tangent. What did you want to say with your Switch Odyssey? I played it on the plane.

I've been playing Breath of the Wild. I like it a lot. How many hours into it are you? I'm probably like six or seven hours into it. I feel like I haven't scratched any surface at all. You have to eat food. Right. Here's my...

I love it. It's crazy. It's huge. You don't know you've got to cook the apples. You cook the apples, yeah. You can bake up the apples. And the peppers for the... The peppers are spicy.

Yes. Like, yes. See, I'm ahead of you, though. I know you. I know my friend. You got it for Wii U. I got it for Switch. I also got the best console available.

I just tried to be a part of it. It's a fun game. I wish that they held your hand a little bit more, but then also it's great that it's wide open. You can do anything you want. They're trying to go in the opposite direction, because for so long, Zeldas were... They were ostensibly non-linear,

but they were fundamentally pretty linear, especially in the early going. A lot of tutorials, like probably like an hour to 90 minutes of time spent just like learning the mechanics of the game. And then you would just acquire items in a set progression, and that would dictate where you could go next.

And this one's much more expansive and open-ended. And you can climb walls anywhere. It's really the best thing I've ever experienced. I've only played it for a little bit. You can go up and climb any wall you want. Like in real life. If I wanted you, I could go up and climb any wall. Yeah, you could try.

No, and it would succeed. Mitch, I'm actually a gifted climber. So hot. I can do a few things I can do physically well. This is maybe my least favorite moment of the two years of this podcast. I'm actually a gifted climber. What the fuck are you talking about?

I can scale things very well. What? I can look at something and say, oh, I can climb it, and I can climb a wall. In fact, when I was dating Natalie in the early going, you won her over by climbing something? I impressed her. We were at an apartment.

We were going into a party, and there was a... It was one of those things where it was a secured building. And so I was like, oh, I can climb this. So I climbed the... I scaled the fence and flung myself to the other side and then opened the door from the inside so we could just walk in and didn't have to buzz.

Oh, my God. That's pretty cool. That probably comes in handy. When? With a lot of elementary schools. Okay, all right. I could see where you're going with that. It's on your eyes.

Piece of shit. Let's get into food a little bit. So, our guests are taken off. Happy trails, guys. Thanks for stopping by. I love Los Angeles. They think the episode's so bad that they're... Good luck right here.

Bye, guys. Wow, things are... I can really relax now. I got to tell you. I guess you are on the state. Now you're... I think it's impossible not to feel a little self-conscious because you're...

And it's super, super nice. I'm glad our guests were here, but I think you're aware that other people are observing you and then also that they're trying to be quiet. So then you're self-conscious because you're like, you're not like responding, but then also like, wait, are they just trying to be quiet?

Are they genuinely having a bad... I mean, they were genuinely having a bad time. But... And I think they... I don't know if that's true, but they had fun. Okay. Also, I'm with two weirdos who can't be around people.

Oh, no, I love... You, Nick, you never, Nick. Arm and you for the last couple of years. Yeah, but I used to love people, man. Yeah, what happened? Oh, my God. I used to love having fun, tickling, all kinds. Oh, Jesus.

Let's talk about last year's champion of champions because it happens to be the... The winner of last year's tournament, the burger brawl, happens to be the restaurant you reviewed when you were guests on the podcast, Arm and in the early going. I know people...

Let me just say, people are so weird, but in and out burger. In and out burger is what it is. And it is. Yeah, whatever. We discussed already, but go out there and get the Arm and Special. I've seen some of your tweets.

The Arm and Special is good. Remind us what the Arm and Special is. It just means... A double double with both kinds of onions. So you have the crunch and the little soft little... And then you eat it. It's got the rainbow. All right.

So imagine you're not a regular like you are and you want to go into an in and out burger. Yeah, that's what you say. But you don't just say Arm and... No, no, no. I'm nothing. Some places they might know it. Some places they might,

but there's enough in and out locations where I think there's somewhere they'd be confused. Yeah, I think all of them, but I think the point is that like... I don't really understand like... I say whatever. I saw what you guys said on Reddit. I just want you guys to know I was going through a hard time.

What are you talking about? Are you talking... You're not going to ask you to talk about it. The out burner is only on the West Coast, so nobody wants to talk about it. People do want to talk about it. There's a lot of people have passionate opinions about it. People were very hard on Arm and he started...

I don't really understand. Like just real fast. I didn't know what the hell was going on. I don't understand the dope voice. I'm learning every day. I want to be part of the Spoonerster 6. I don't... I want to be the champion.

I swear to you that I get the mythology. I'm in the cast. You seem a little... You're not going to be the champion. Like we're not picking a guest to be the champion. We don't know yet. That could happen. Back then I didn't know what was going on.

And I don't understand that this was real. And I thought we were talking about... Anyway, so I'm happy to be here because chicken McNuggets are. Yes. Let's talk a little bit about what Arm and feels about chicken McNuggets. And then we'll talk about how you feel about Popeyes. Because I feel like Popeyes is a newer experience for you. I had it.

What are your thoughts on chicken McNuggets? Well, I think chicken McNuggets are, as I would say, but in and out are the Beatles of little chicken McNugget finger type things. I think that I was a child and I wasn't allowed to have a lot of fast food weirdly enough. Right. And so I remember them so fondly and deeply and profoundly in their little boot and little circle. And I think everyone, you know, I knew they were for kids. I wanted to grow up and get Big Macs. And I chicken McNugget, if I was going to die, I would eat them on my last day on the road.

Wow. That's quite an endorsement. We do a last meal here a lot of the time and that would be one of your things in your last meal. Yeah. I mean, it would be, yeah, especially because I won't feel my stomach. It sounds like you have an attachment to them, though, like partly out of nostalgia. Like it's kind of in the way that the Madeleine was depruced. Yes.

It's just like that little thing that triggers a memory. It's both. Excuse me? What did you say? Right. What's it called? Memories of things past the fuck's that book called? Yeah.

There's that big, long volume of books by that guy Marcel Proust. Oh, yes. And he bites into a Madeleine and that begins this. Yes. I love Madeleines, too. You said, ah, yes. And then you made a face like, what? You can just admit you don't have to act like you know something.

No, no. Proust, Proust, my boy. It's just like... Come on, man. The point is that I think everyone is secretly like spiritually ashamed to deal with the fact that chicken McNuggets are very important to them. They're inside our DNA. Not just...

I feel like I was going to burp. Not just children, but... Mm-hmm. Like right now, if I saw them, that would be exciting. Right. I know it wouldn't be cool, but I think everyone listening will understand what I'm saying. There's little boots that you don't... I mean, the sauce...

You don't even need the sauce. They're little boots that you dunk in the sauce. No, I agree. I think they're so deeply important and magical and they're... They're bigger than just a podcast. If you think about McDonald's top three things on their menu, I think it probably sneaks in at the third spot for me. Fries, Big Mac.

Yeah, that's correct. They're quarter pounder maybe battles with the McNuggets. That's the only thing that... It's hard to put a... Here's what I would say. I think your spot on Mitch with fries in the top spot, I would say for me it's Big Mac at the two spot, but it could also make an argument for that regular old cheeseburger because I just think that two cheeseburger meal is such a classic to me.

It's hard to make an argument though for whatever your burger is. It's hard to make an argument for a second burger over the McNuggets for that third spot because it's like... It's just those McNuggets do something differently and I feel like if you're only going to have a few things from McDonald's, you'd want those McNuggets to mix it up. You know what? I went into McDonald's, I went to France for a day when I was in... When I traveled to England and I went into McDonald's.

Every... The thing in London and in France, it was all touchscreen. That's how you ordered. Oh wow, crazy. And the two McDonald's I went to, they were both touchscreen. Can you see pulp fiction dude? So this is... That's why I went in.

I swear to God, I went in. I want to take a picture of a Royale with cheese. Guess what? Pulp fiction, actual fiction, there was no Royale with cheese. Right. I was very upset. Hashtag, what should we hashtag for Quentin Tarantino? Hashtag.

Thank you for the great films. Quentin Lyre T Reno. Quentin Lyre Reno. I love it. I don't endorse it. I was just going to say pulp fiction fiction, but I think Quentin Lyre Reno is the way to go. Hashtag Ruby. Hashtag Ruby Love.

Hashtag Ruby Love. Okay. Hashtag Quentin Lyre Reno. Hashtag Ruby Lyre Reno. Perfect. If you guys want to see more Ruby, just tweet at Paul Russ. Oh my God. Tweet at Paul.

If you want to see more Ruby in season three, what if there's backfires? People are going to tweet at him. We've seen just the right amount of Ruby. Here's my question. Aren't they, because I thought I saw Paul Instagram something. Isn't season three in production right now? Have they written it already? Yes.

True. I don't know if I should save Ruby's back or not. You'll have to wait and see. I think you probably should. Yeah. To wait and see. To write back who knows. Okay.

Who knows? Is Weiger there? Who's to say? I can answer that. Definitely not. Well, we don't know Ruby's last name is Weiger. Oh, Ruby Weiger is there. Oh, okay.

That's a fun tribute. So here's the thing about the McNuggets. Natalie made this observation. And I'm not sure if you have the same feeling. Armin is someone who has had nuggets for your whole life. And is a little younger than us, but around the same age. Same generation. Hey.

Natalie's younger? No. Natalie's my age. Armin's younger than us. Okay. I'm a little. Here's my question. She says she claims she noticed a difference when they switched from dark meat and white

meat to all white meat. 100%. And she thinks it's for the worse. Do you agree? Yes. Well, listen, in a very, very small way, I understand what she's saying. It's a little bit for the worse, but in the end, I remember all the tastes. Right.

But it's all very scientifically made and some weird things. She's right, but I would argue that they're still the most important thing and they bring all of us together. But did the boot shape you mentioned, because there are different shapes, right? There's kind of the boot shape and then there's kind of like more of the orb shape. But the boot shape used to be dark and the orb shape used to be white. Is that correct? I'm not sure.

It's just mixed. I mean, there was a little crunchier. Sometimes you get a little crunchier piece than others. Now they're a little more like smushed. But listen, I love them. They got a great one at the Staple Center. I think she might be right, though. It is nice to have all white meat.

I feel like it's nice to have the all white meat. Boots and orbs. The two classic shapes. A boot and an orb. We stood up there with a square rectangle pentagon. It's like everyone calls them, you call them McNuggets your whole life. It's like when you call it Kleenex, like it's like, but they're actually called tissues. You know, I feel like that's how important they are.

McNuggets are. Yeah. They've definitely established nugget as the name for a unit of chicken meat that's kind of shaped in a roughly like a circle. Otherwise there's tenders. That's a whole separate world. Tenders are different. I also, I've got to say this and you know what?

No, I'm not going to say it. Okay. In Paris, there was a commercial for a Charlie head bow thing. And I just forgot that that is. I forgot that that's an actual. Oh my God. I said, I was going to say that I forgot that that was an actual. It's like a real satirical publication.

Okay. This is cut out. You forgot. I didn't know that it was like an advertised thing. Right. And in France, it really is like a thing that. That's why they had to go. Yeah.

That's why they want to go. I don't think it's one. I don't think it's one to one, but it's kind of approximately. It's it's like the onion kind of. Yeah. Is it like the. I think it's like a. It's like.

Maybe meaner the onion kind of. Okay. That was kind of the vibe I got from it. But I don't say I can't. I'm not one to comment on the actual culture. I didn't get to see anything. I literally saw the Eiffel Tower and a Charlie head bow poster. And then I was there for six hours.

So I didn't really get to eat too much in France. I had one meal, but I liked the food in London. The food in London was very good. Did you in France while you're there? I know you're just there for a little bit, but did you happen to visit the place where the naked ladies dance and look. Oh my God. Where the men can the room as rumor has it.

See it all. I was going to ask a real question. Any good food in France? I mean, did you eat? I went to one cafe. I saw that place that Weigar was talking about. And then I went to a cafe. I saw the ladies dancing in their underwear.

And then I went to a cafe. Are you saying I see London. I see France. No, they're different rhymes. Oh, what's the other one? I see London's. I see France. I see whoever's underpants.

And there's also there's a place and dance or the naked ladies dance. There's a hole in the wall where the men can see it all. Is this is this? I don't even know that other one. Really? That was going around. And it was kind of to the, uh, it was kind of to that, like, uh, like a Middle Eastern sort of thing.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh my God. There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance. Oh yes. I do actually remember that now. That was a schoolyard thing going around rightly elementary. Hey guys, have you heard this? Have you heard this thing that's gone around?

That was you in the schoolyard? I wasn't spreading the rumor of it, but it's familiar with it. I had, I had one meal at a cafe. I had steak frites. I had a crepe. I shared a crepe. That sounds great. I had some hot, I had some hot wine.

I had some bread and cheese. In fact, I had some, I had some ham and cheese. I had some ham and cheese on a piece of bread. Without butter. Sounds boo. Without butter. Yeah. They put butter on their sandwiches.

They put it on everything over there. I haven't been there since I was like 14. I know nothing about this. Um, it was, it was, it was a nice quick trip. Anyways, I got us off topic. Armin was mad when we talked about the pink slime of McNuggets. Oh, I just meant, you know, that was a weird time. But honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with the pink slime.

And I don't think there was any pink slime. It's been debunked. That's like, if you look at, if you look at Snopes, it says partially true in the sense that that does show mechanically separated chicken, but that's not the kind of chicken that, that McDonald's almost has said Nintendo, which maybe that, that Freudian slip is something. There's something going on there. No, Nintendo, McDonald's, Coca-Cola.

Yeah. Right. That I'm confusing brands. Classics in and out burger. They're icons. Uh, but they, uh, but it says that it's not the type of meat that, that McDonald's uses in their McNuggets anymore. It's just sort of a, like a, that's sort of a general kind of mechanically separated

chicken that they'll just use for, uh, low grade processed chicken that maybe you'll get in, in other kinds of meals. Maybe you're frozen nuggets. I agree with you. Let me ask you a question. Do you think I'm immature for preferring the nuggets over a hamburger? Does that associate your mind with the childish mentality? Um, I definitely think there's something to, I don't think there's anything wrong with

an adult liking a nugget, but I definitely think that that is kind of a, kind of a childlike taste. Right. You know what I mean? It's like if you like, oh, I'm not going to talk about that, but you got it. If you like like really sweet drinks, for instance, if you're someone who, who likes really sweet, like I see it. Like Mitch.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, no, well, yeah. No, I'm saying that's kind of. If you're an ass man, people say that you're more mature. I think that that's more mature than if you're a breast man. Okay. Right.

I mean. Armin is one of my friends. And I said he was my best friend. I just want people to, you know, remember that we're having fun and, you know, because I think we know the answer to who's the winner of this tournament. Oh, well, don't be so premature. A biker is a big pot. So.

Hey, I like. Hey, speaking of breasts, that's what I was saying. What about Popeye's chicken breasts? Armin, what is your history with this? My history is, is limited. I've had over the years, maybe twice in my life and I definitely had some today and I, I can say that it is a, a tasty, um, you know, it's got the little crunch. It's definitely enjoyable.

I would say it's very good and that people could have a good time there at a classic fried chicken. How do you feel about fried chicken in general? He loves it. That's one of the greatest things in the world. Of course. I'm not a bad person. I love fried chicken.

Where's your favorite fried chicken chain or otherwise? I'm interested in this answer because you're a big foodie. I'd say, you know, all the good food spots around LA. I would argue that the problem with this question is that, you know, I think fried chicken is hard to be a, that word, I hate the word, but I mean, just saying the best ones are not, there's nothing like a fancy fried chicken is probably not going to be your go-to. I can tell you my favorite in LA is honey kettle. Oh, honey kettle is real good in Culver City.

Yeah, it's real good. In Culver City. And then we have, is it dinas or dinas? Dinas, yeah. That's another one. Dinas. And then Roscoe's, I was going to say, but that seems really cliche or something. Roscoe's is delicious.

I feel like Roscoe's is a package deal with those swaffles though. Yeah. But Roscoe's fried chicken is a little skimpy, like skinny. I don't even like fried chicken. I guess you guys are right. You're flipping now. You're saying you don't like fried chicken. I'm saying I do, but I don't have a favorite.

I truly don't know anything about it. The honey kettle is good. I mean, I haven't seen you eat fried chicken forever. That's what I'm saying. I don't. I actually. Chicken wing nuggets. So my, I actually go without bone when it comes to fried chicken.

I kind of like, we talked about a howling rays. Right. We talked about the plan check fried chicken sandwich. When it comes to fried chicken, a lot of the time I think I like, I like a boneless. I'm bone out. I tell you, I'm a big bone in guy and I think it's just juicier. And I think also too, you're going to get stuff that's like a little bit more process. I understand the convenience.

I used to be a boneless guy, but I feel like you want that bone in there. And I feel like too, like in terms of like, okay, the dish as it, the dish in its purest form, I feel like is a bone in bird. I feel like that's like the closest to what fried chicken is. In the old West. Yeah. As like as originally conceived. And so I really like that version of it.

I just, I'm thinking of another place real quick, just while it's on the top of my head. This was when we were in South Carolina, we went to this place, Leon's fine poultry and oysters and had some fried chicken there. It was fucking delicious. Okay. And I'm sure that there's a lot of places in across the South that would shame a lot of what's in LA. Besides, besides our fried, dude, I guess we have a decent fried chicken game, but I feel

like there's, there's definitely some places in the South that are probably much better. Right. You know what? If you've got a fried chicken outlet that is your, that you prefer, hit us up with the hashtag Ruby. Okay. Don't just use the hashtag. You can use the hashtag Ruby love and tweet at Paul Rust if you would like to see more

of the character Ruby in season three. Okay. Hashtag Ruby love. Hashtag Ruby love. Feel free to do that. That's a great Cat's Even song. Yeah. Right.

But aside from that, if you've got a good fried chicken recommendation, hashtag friend chicken. Oh. Oh. I actually think that was sweet. That was nice. I liked it. Oh.

What? Some French game out of me with that one. Oh. Yeah. Why do they call them frogs? French people? Does their legs are skinny? No, because they're, do they call French people frogs because?

I don't know the etymology. Is this some sort of cowardly thing? I don't know. I don't know the etymology of it. What? Frogs aren't cowardly. I would assume it has something to do with what you were doing. Like you, you had that kind of, that kind of guttural noise.

I assume it maybe has something to do with that. Oh, you sound like a frog or maybe it just is as simple as, you know, they called Brits Limies because they were drinking lime juice as a ration to stave off scurvy. That's, that's true. The sailors were having lime juice. Lime juice is delicious. I wouldn't. I like lime juice.

But it could be as simple as like, oh, the French eat frog legs. Hey, we're going to call you a frog. I'm saying it's not right. Every nationality has some, you can go to some animal form the Irish or... What about the Jewish? Yeah. Let's list some insults for different ethnicities. That's a good use of our time.

I think they call the Jewish proud steer. Armin just put his head in his hands. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. I know you're saying rats in your minds. Welcome back to Doe Boys. We're here with Armin Weitzman. Should we, should we, should we get back to...

Let's get back to McDonald's versus Popeyes. Oh, okay. What were you going to say? I was going to say, Irish people are like slugs or... We shouldn't be picking up this... What? We like... I went to the commercial so we could abandon this line.

Okay, okay. Let's move on from this. All right, fair. Let's move on to... Let's move on to... Thank God we stayed with the white races. Did you... God, damn it.

Oh, sorry. Don't call anyone frogs. Jesus Christ. All right. Here we go. Remember in five-fold... McDonald's and Popeyes. So, I went to McDonald's.

I got the four-piece McNuggets with hot mustard dipping sauce. Yes, I got the four-piece. Yes, I got the four-piece. It's on the McDonald's too. That's not right. I got a four-piece nuggets and that's actually all I got. Arm and I've had plenty of McNuggets over the course of my life. Yeah, you have.

And if you're going to call me out on something... No, no, I would never... How about the fact... Oh, God. That you ate about a third of one piece of Popeyes chicken. Wow, Nick. What the fuck? And are going to render your verdict based on that.

So, if you're going to call me out on my four-piece after a lifetime of nugget consumption... First of all, I was never calling you out. It was humor about McDonald's people that we know we've got to get a six-piece. All right. Well, he's right. But that's because later tonight I have to be somewhere for work, for a secret project that you'll all hear about soon, Doe Boys fans, but can't discuss now. So, hashtag secret project that's coming up.

I just want to say that what Arm and Ate of that chicken looks like what a little rat would eat. I was scared. I mean, I try the spicy one and the regular. Right. I got to tell you, it's great. Popeyes is real fun. Yes. But what are we talking about?

We can't beat... Here's what we'll do. We'll go around. We'll give our assessment of... We'll start with McDonald's. So, McDonald's four-piece McNuggets. I got the hot mustard dip and sauce. Not usually my go-to dip and sauce, but I figured I'd get something spicy for a rough comparison

to the spicy Popeyes that I usually get. McNuggets are great. They're very good. I mean, they're simple. They're straightforward. I feel like they're consistent. They kind of come out at kind of the same Christmas and the same temperature in general, not 100% of the time, but they come out pretty close to evenly across the different change,

which speaks to McDonald's skill at engendering uniformity across their different franchises. They do well with it. They do well with it. If you get a bad McDonald's, but here's the thing. There's so many McDonald's that I feel like if you get a bad one, it just happens. Whatever. It's five. It's a sheep.

Yeah, and I think the McNuggets are great. They're delicious. They're not particularly juicy, but they have a unique nugget character to them, which is distinct and really it's kind of, you can't really replicate it anywhere else. Armin is going for something. I'm not sure what he's doing exactly. Armin, what are you doing? Well, I'm killing a bug.

What type of bug is this? You just stamped out a bug with Mitch's rice container from Popeyes. He was crawling. Okay. What sort of bug was it? A spider? No, no. A little flea.

I don't know. What do you think I made it up? You got so scared looking. I thought it was, I thought for sure it was a cockroach or something. I know what kind of bug it was. A bug that won't that pretty. Oh my God. Wow.

Bug main. You're saying it was bug main. It might have been bug main. Let's state for the record that Armin is here and there was a little bug skitter scattering across our table. So, and my house is pretty clean. Right. Wow.

I didn't even, I didn't want to do that symbolism. I didn't mean to kill that bug. That is, that is like a very symbolic act. You are literally stuffing out the bug and we heard him say, as dying throws, he said, booze, booze. Guys. Have you ever heard a bug say, booze, booze? Yeah.

Oh, I don't know. I mean, it's kind of like the noise they make. It's not a monopoetic, but yeah. I guess they do. Yeah. Okay. That question you just asked. A mosquito says, booze, booze.

Mitch, tell us about your McNuggets. I got a four piece and only a four piece. Wow. And I ate them with sweetened sour sauce and I threw the container away and I hate this tournament. Right. But what did you, how like, were there any curve balls? Was it the McNuggets who exactly expected that they just deliver?

They were perfect. Perfect. They were. They were really good and hot and fresh. They were just like they were last time. Right. This is after, you know, I've gone to a trainer. I've gone to a gym.

I went to the gym. I ran for 30 minutes. I went to the trainer. I worked out for over an hour. It's a good work. What do you? What? What do I do?

He works all my muscle groups. I don't know why I would even ask. I don't know. He works all my muscle groups. Jason, my trainer and this podcast, I can't keep up. I'm getting fatter as I work out. I've, I looked today. I've been doing this trainers in September.

Right. But you're like, but here, here's the thing. Are you talking about fatter in terms of the scale? Are you talking about in terms of how your body looks and feels? Because sometimes the scale can be deceptive, especially if you're starting a new workout. Do I look better to you, Iger? I don't know if you look. I mean, to me, you look the same, but I see you regularly.

It's hard to sometimes perceive changes on someone that you see all the time. You know what I mean? Like when you're going to notice weight loss is when someone you haven't seen in a while. I got my cardio, which, which is today. It's great that you're, it's great that you're on this exercise regimen. You've been very consistent with it. Yeah. You're keeping it up.

It's not an easy thing to do when you've been sedentary for a while. What the fuck? No, I mean, I don't mean to say that in the majority of way, but someone like you're busy, you haven't been particularly active for a while. You're not somebody who's gone out of your way to exercise for the last two years. No, I've not been good. Okay. I used to be a guy who, who, who would go to the gym.

Right. Oh, but you're, you're, you're getting back into it. And this is great. And I think like you have, try to maintain a positive attitude about it. I think you're being responsible and reasonable in terms of what you're eating for the podcast and hopefully maintaining that outside of what you're eating on the podcast. Thanks a lot. Mr. Universe.

No, I'm not saying I'm Mr. Universe. I'm saying this is, I'm trying to encourage you. I know. I appreciate it. I'm not trying to be condescending. Wiger's nice. No, he's not. Why I was talking on him.

What the fuck? Thank you, Armin. Who betrayed me? Look at him. He's telling you all these things that you should just know. You're both sick. I know both of you. I, you know what?

I went back over all the guests we've had. Yeah. I've probably booked just as many guests as you, you sick buck. Oh, I never said you didn't book guests. Yes. But all these people, they're turning on me online. Who's turning on you shows me these things. Well, who's turning on you?

You guys told me not to worry about the podcast moving or like he eat and I'm sick of it. No, I think he does. What's that? I mean, right? I've put so much effort into this stupid podcast. I hate it. Sure. You write up your dumb things.

I can't deal with this anymore. God. This is the only thing, the only thing I do for this podcast. You do a lot for it too. I do it though too. We both put work into it. Yes. I'm not trying to dismiss your contributions.

That's what everyone online is gathering from it. People have an assumption based on this dynamic, but also I think part of it is that is our on-air dynamic of I know I try. I'm trying to steer the podcast toward its stated purpose and you're derailing it. You need to you need to you need to admit that you're a bit of a control freak. I am a bit of a control freak. I'm fine with that. I'm trying to like I'm trying to maintain control.

I've been trying to loosen that a little bit because we had some discussions about it. You can tell your your collar is open. There's a couple buttons open today on your collar. Oh yeah. No, I will. Hey, I'll button it down. I will. I'll have the shirt on button a little bit.

I saw stink lines come out. Wait a minute. I'm a hygienic man. Don't try to paint me as some sort of filthy guy. There's one with bugs crawling around your table. There's also a glowing iron man type heart. Oh, bad. I wish it was bad ass.

Armin, so your last McNuggets experience was unreal. I mean, it was really a guilty pleasure gone. True. You know, it was it feels good. What kind did you get and what sauce did you get? I guess the truth is I didn't get any sauce. I just want you guys to know that I don't even think it needs the sauce. When I get it, I know that I probably would have got barbecue, but I got some fries and

you know, it I feel like I've already stated it, but I just want to say that every every bite is very exciting. It's it crunches in your mouth. You can feel it on your tongue. That's a McNugget way. I don't even have there's nothing I could say bad about it except for that. It's unhealthy and hurts me. Very well said.

I will say though, side stay on the sideline for this. Yes. So the fries, one of the I don't even, we don't, I just was being honest. No, I know. I appreciate it. The fries, one of the best. I mean, McDonald's fries are the best. All right.

Maybe one of the best fast food items. If sides weren't on the sidelines, that would be a big thumb on the scale in McDonald's phase. They're going to lose a bracket. The fries can come out. I, if the McNuggets don't win, I will feel like very sad and think this is a sham. Okay. Well, here, here's that brings me to Popeyes.

I mean, I got the two piece mixed combo mild. I normally get spicy. They were out of spicy. Well, they had spicy, but they were going to, I was in something of a rush and they were like, God, it's going to take some time to fry it up. But we got the mild ready. And I was like, fine, give me the mild. And I got it with some, I just got some hot sauce on the side for dipping just to liven

that up a little bit. And the Popeyes is so good. Like just like the way it's so breaded, like the breading is great and crisp and delicious. The meat is juicy. Even the white meat, which can oftentimes get dry in an inferior fried chicken is still has a good amount of juice to it. And that dark meat, that thigh is delicious. I mean, I should probably just opt for the, because sometimes I'll get the three piece.

I probably in the future should just opt for the two piece dark because I like that dark meat so much there. The mild is still good. It's still very, very good. I think the spicy is the superior kind. And, but I mean, the mild will absolutely deliver you for someone who's not a heat seeker. Go ahead, Armin. I, I prefer the mild.

Just wanted you guys to know that. That's totally fair. Okay. Sorry. What was your assessment of it though, versus other fried chickens? That's what I was saying. It was, it's got the good crunch. Like you're saying, I think it, it, there's a way worse because it wasn't the gross kind

of thing where you bite it and it's all gross. I mean, KFC sometimes in my memory has some very gross chomp like things. This was a very nice, crispy little crunch. KFC can get real greasy too. This, you don't, doesn't have as much of a, of a grease issue. No, I think Popeyes would have won a lot of other rounds probably. Well, it did win one round already. Oh, right.

I knew that. I love, I'm a champion. We're not sure if a human can win the championship. Yeah. We haven't established that. Maybe Armin will win it all. You have never tasted it. We got, so we got the family meal.

We got eight pieces. I knew that Rachel and Ryan Cornelius were coming and I knew that Armin was coming. Yeah. I don't. They hated me. No, they liked you. They had to be quiet. They were so sad.

They were like, are you bug me? And I was like, I don't know. Rachel thought you were bug main. And you know what? Everyone seemed to enjoy it. The chicken was good. We got eight pieces. We did white meat.

You know why the guy called me in desperation and he said, well, you didn't say which, which if you wanted white meat or dark meat or mix, I should have said a mix. I just said, I just said white meat cause I was on the road and I didn't know what to do. We postmated this as I was driving home from my trainer and eight pieces, half, half mild or regular and half spicy. I like this. This is spicy. I'm with you.

I'm more of a spicy guy. Right. We also got two sides here that are just sitting here, the rice and beans in the, in the mashed potatoes, which maybe should just be thrown away and, uh, and some biscuits. And we won't talk about the sides, but Popeyes has decent sides. I just want to say that. Yeah. They do have good sides.

I mean, from a head to head biscuit standpoint, give me that church's biscuit over the Popeyes biscuit, but Popeyes biscuit is good. Popeyes biscuit is maybe, maybe number two. Yeah. But the, um, the, I got the Cajun fries this time. The red beans and rice is my go to, but I got the Cajun fries this time. Very good fries. Here's my thing.

We, we got the all white chicken. It was maybe a little bit drier than it should have been, which is something that you touched on. So it was still very good. I mean, it is the, the crisp is good. Like Armand was talking about it. It's, it, they do, they do a good job and for something that I thought was legit bad. I told you that my one experience with Popeyes, Popeyes, when I was a kid, when I was a teenager,

was not, was not great. And I always kind of just from there on out thought it was not a great place. But Popeyes is, is good fried chicken. It is good fried chicken. Yeah. Um, for a fast food chain, it is good. It's good fried chicken. I think it's good period, but I'm okay.

I'm okay with those, those conditionals you want to put on top of it. I think I, I think I know which way the winds are blowing right here. But I think we should, I like Popeyes. I, we all, we all like Popeyes. I think I can tell which way the winds are blowing here. Let's, let's get to our decision at this point in the podcast. So we'll count down from three to one and we will say, wait, wasn't there five? We can start, we'll start at five for your benefit.

Armin, give you a little more. These are not about, didn't we raise this out of basketballs at one point? We did rate it out of basketballs. We did that last year. Am I confused? There's no five forks though. Five forks is a different, that's a different thing. Armin.

Of course. That's when we're like rating restaurant. We're saying the winner. We're saying the winner. Here's what, here's what it was last year, Mitch. Out of zero to 10 basketballs in three categories. That's right. However, in the end, we also had a separate evaluation that decided which one was the

winner that completely disregarded the basketballs. So we're not doing the basketballs any longer. I mean, we could, but it was just like a step that was just taking up time. Happy with whatever. Armin is going to go with the full. I say we don't need the basketballs. We'll just decide which of these is going to be the ideal chicken representative that we would send to the devil.

Yes. In order to turn him into an angel so he can ascend from the pits of hell into the heights of heaven. That's right. Here's, here's the thing. If you want us to bring back the basketball ratings, hit us up with hashtag three pointer. And if you want us to get rid of it, hashtag, uh, blocked shot. Perfect.

All right. So here's what we're going to count down from five for Armin's benefit. Five to one right. Okay. And then after one, we will all say in unison which of these two Popeyes or McDonald's for the McNuggets we want advancing to the finals. What? Of the tournament of champions.

Okay. This is the semi-finals. So this will be, this will be, they're going into that big, big, the Super Bowl of, we can say Super Bowl, right? Sure. The Super Bowl of chicken. Very guilty. We could go from three if you prefer.

I didn't realize. How about what compromise will go from four? I'll start at four. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Four. Three.

Two. One. McDonald's. Two to one. I'm in the minority. I mean. Wow. But you really, if you were saying to the devil.

Interesting. I'd send him Popeyes because I think fried chicken. Well, this is unfair because the devil and it's, it's, it's established. Uh-huh. That he's bad. And the Adam Sandler movie, little Nicky. Right. And the devil and all his minions love Popeyes.

Is that a thing? Yeah. They say Popeyes chicken fucking rocks when he eats Popeyes. Oh, I've never seen. I don't know. I don't know. I can't confirm. He, he, he, little Nicky himself loves Popeyes.

And then he brings it down to hell at one point. And they, I think Kevin Neal and has boobs on his head at one point. Huh. The only product placement I know of from an Adam Sandler movie involving chain restaurants is the Dunkachino from Jack and Jill. Also McDonald's and Big Daddy. Oh, right. Okay.

Subway and happy Gilmore. Okay. There's a few different instances. Yeah. Look, the Popeyes. Don't you forgot those moments? No, I'm remembering them now as you're bringing them up, but the one on top of my head was the Dunkachino thing or the Dunkin' Donuts.

So Adam Sandler himself is bringing down chicken McNuggets to the devil. Well, we were adding the wrinkle that it's now Adam Sandler personally doing it. He's delivering it to him. Okay. All right. So whatever Adam Sandler's sitting down at the devil. Which let's be honest, Adam Sandler alone, that's enough for the devil to smile and be happy.

Yeah, I guess. He's going to give him the chicken McNuggets. Yeah. In this instance, I mean, Popeyes, McDonald's is moving on to the finals with the McNuggets. Wait, so that's it? Well, we've got a little bit more, we've got a little more business to take care of. That's it for this round. McDonald's won.

But guess what? Yeah. What's going on with this one? I mentioned that we each get a switch in this tournament. Yeah. What? I'm going to put my switch into play right now. What's that mean?

I'm going to make things more interesting. Oh boy. Susser? So for the next round of the tournament, my little switch is that sponsored by Nintendo Switch. You should make it clear that they don't really sponsor us. Right. It's really hot in here.

I'm going to allow the quarter pounder with cheese to be on the menu with McNuggets. For the finals? For the finals. But it's about chicken, right? Yeah. This is confusing. Listen. Quarter pounder.

You get a burger in the last tournament. Right. And I'm adding a burger in. McDonald's gets to have a burger. This will be overturned. So wait. The switch is that you get to just add something else? The switch is like any twist, basically?

Is that what you're saying? This is an executive order. I'm going to use another switch at some point, too. Wait. You get more than one switch? Yeah. How many switches do we get? There's two total, but I'm going to use yours.

Wait. No. You don't get to use my switch. Why not? Why is it called a switch? Yeah. I switched things up. All right.

Here's my switch. I'm going to use my switch now. McDonald's can use the quarter pounder all right in the loser's bracket because I'm switching Armin's vote to Popeye's, meaning Popeye's moves on to the finals. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, that doesn't make any sense. Two to one. Popeye's moving on to the finals. No, no, no.

McDonald's going down to the loser's bracket in Fat Chance Kitchen on the Doughboys double. Time out. Let's calm down. Let's just calm down. Susser needs to make a fool out of this. Mitch, take back your switch of the silly burger. The fans know. Weigert knows.

No one wants this switch. I'm going to pull a switch. This is silly. I tried to participate in your little games. No. You know what? I'm confident that McDonald's can sit down in the loser's bracket that's still going to win.

Wow. This is really a development here. Mitch, I admire your sportsmanship that you're willing to allow this to proceed. I have confidence in McDonald's as well. This is going to be a, this is going to be really quite a sight to see it down in the loser's bracket. This is fucked up. I think it's crazy.

I think it's fucked up that you had, I'll retract mine if you retract yours. No. I don't want to retract mine. All right, fine. This is like Donald Trump. This is like Donald Trump does things. No. Yeah.

Nick is like Donald Trump. Wait, hold on. Hold on. What? Well, because Mitch said it like a weird executive order. OK. He's like, probably be overturned, then the Democrats, you got mad, then you did a crazier thing and then he's doubling down now on this hamburger thing and now the nuggets are, you

know, with ice. Armin, you're sagely pointing out that the real problem is partisanship. Is that me? That sounds like what you're saying. It sounds like you're making that argument. That means choosing a party. I'm saying the real problem is we just, let's, yep. OK.

Fuck. I should have done it. Ugh. I should have just come later. What the fuck's happened? Oh. Susser will suss this out the next episode. OK, so wait.

Just real fast. So what that now? Popeyes is the winner. Popeyes is moving on to the finals. Their first final is. Against who? McDonald's is going down to the Losers' Bracket in Fat Gants' Chicken, Fat Chance Kitchen, but the double, the quarter pounder with cheese is eligible within that matchup.

Well, this is completely. I should have made it the Big Bunch of Narrows. I mean, obviously. How about, you're, how about Burger of Choice? This is insane. Fine, Burger of Choice. OK. Is this chicken contest?

Yes. Straight man in the scene. OK. I'm so confused. All right. You guys have a chicken contest. You added a burger. He put it down in the Losers.

McDonald's, McDonald's wasn't on the, wasn't in the tournament last year. We had a burger tournament. That's because you were doing burgers. Yeah. We had a burger tournament. McDonald's wasn't eligible because we hadn't reviewed it yet. This year, we loosened the guidelines a little bit, we included places that we haven't yet reviewed.

You should just think about what you've done. We're going to, we're going to figure this out. We'll sort it out. We'll sort it out. Let's move on to the next segment. All right. Let's move on. You mentioned.

Mary Old England. And you brought back some snacks. Home of the Beatles. Home of the Beatles. It's time for a segment. This is SnackRkey in the UK. Uh. Thanks.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi Mary. Hi Mary. Damn.

I might have. I'm a merry, listen, I'm very I'm having a great time. I'm learning arm. Well, you push all these, my way. Every single snack you see on the table. You saw. You've got a big big array of, um, candy, and treats here. I basically went to just a supermarket store in, in London and you've got a bunch.

Let's just. Listening. Well it's just a few, um, and that's what I'm gonna say to you. Give me that chocolate bar 2. In anything that's all in teach. Right around to this chocolate bar. So anyone who lives in England, you got to tell me if I did a bad job. I don't.

I honestly don't know. First I got some walkers. Uh, wankers. Walkers. Walkers. Armand. Walkers. Cheese and onion chips.

Um, and so we'll just, we'll just eat a few of these. Right. I got some Mars bars. Classic Mars bars. Okay. I got a Yorkie candy bar, raisin and biscuit, because I felt like it was the weirdest one. Sounds insane. Then I got myself, uh, some Cadbury heroes, we're not gonna eat all of these.

Cadbury heroes, they have a bunch of different, we, so these. Wait. Can I just say one thing? Yeah, go ahead. You guys really should not chew into the microphone every time you do this part. It's really insane. We've gotten a lot of complaints about it. We actually are our tournament of chompians theme song, which it was composed by Michael

Cassie, which is a great theme, but we've gotten some complaints even about that song because it has some chomp sound effects in it. A lot of people are very sensitive to it. I think particularly in earbuds. I just think sometimes you guys, that's my only suggestion. I really hope. That's fair. I love him and his wife.

It's a good suggestion. We'll try to, we'll try to chomp out of the microphone. We'll just make a conscious effort to do that as much as possible. So we're probably not going to get to the Cadbury heroes, but there's a bunch of stuff in here. And if you're, if you live in London or if you, if you, if you know much about, uh, London food, tell us there's, there's, uh. Fish and chips.

There's Cadbury Eclers, Cadbury Fudge, Cadbury Whisper, Cadbury Dairy Milk, Cadbury Caramel, Cadbury Twirl and, and Cadbury Twisted. So we probably aren't going to go to those. Those are not from London. And then I also got a galaxy bar, which is smooth milk. I just want to get a chocolate bar because I remember as a boy, right when I was about eight years old, being in London, eating a chocolate bar when I was on the tube and it was very, very delicious.

And then finally I got a chocolate orange, which is actually in the shape of an orange behind my water ball. They're, they're neck. You can see it. Oh yeah. I got it. Um, and, and, and it's a big orange thing. We're probably not going to eat that either.

So we're going to, let's say, let's do the galaxy, the Yorkie, the walkers and the Mars bars. That's four things. Great. What's Maynard's? Maynard's are actually Canadian snacks. They, I think they actually are in England too though. Um, and finally a fun little thing here.

I also got some cool original Doritos. Those are already opened. And they're already open. I opened them today. Okay. Cause the bag was squished. I just want to make sure they're all right. Right.

And so we can, we can have these for fun too. They taste the same. Basically they are, there's what they call the cool ranch flavor over there. Yeah. They're called cool original. I've heard in some places they call it cool American because it's like a ranch doesn't mean anything. All right.

Go. So Armin. Hey, pass some stuff over here. We'll just sort of snack on it in some sort of sequence. Armin, if you see the cool ranch, it is exactly the same. So we're not going to do them. Okay. Finally.

Armin, what? Finally. I got. Are we eating this? Yeah. I think I might faint in here. You know how hot it is. We just talked about this.

Yeah. It's very warm in here. We have the AC off for audio reasons. Is it baguette? No. I got a baguette from France. Nope. And it's probably a little bit hard.

It's a couple of days old now. Yeah. You can rip off a piece of it and try it. That looks so, that has like the texture of a carpet sandwich. I think, you know, I don't want to eat that. That seems like a humor. Ew. Yeah.

Cause that was just in a paper bag and you took it on an airplane over the course of a transcontinental flight like a couple of days ago. I don't think I want to eat that. It's still. It's still good. Okay. Let's get down to it. Mars bars.

We'll do that first. All right. Here's what we'll do. Why don't we just send some of these around and we can just be chomping and then commenting as we go. Okay. Cool. Mitch has not handed Nick anything.

All right. Here we go. Wait. So what's a Mars bar? That's like a Milky Way? Um, good question. Mitch, do you have any context for what a Mars bar is exactly? No, but Mars bars are.

There you go. Harmon. Mars bars are. Are you sure? I feel like Mars bars are famous in England. I feel like I've seen them a bunch. I'm in America. I'm going to take a bite of this Mars.

The Mars corporation certainly is. I'm going to take a bite of this Mars bar and be conscious of eating it off mic. So apologies for the dead air you might be getting in here, but I think that's a byproduct of us leaning away from the microphones to take some shoes. Look, we're not particularly professional with this. I just, I just, I just opened up the bag of Walker's cheese and onion chips. There you go. They noticeably, the cheese and onion chips, I'll say this right now, no sour cream in

them. Interesting. Um, the Mars bar for me, very akin to a Milky Way. It's kind of much a very kind of in that, that neighborhood. I'm a Milky Way fan, so I enjoyed it very chewy, very six to your teeth, but that same sort of flavor. I'm just passing me the Walker's chips, fresh taste guaranteed, it says in the bag, cheese and onions.

I'm going to have a little bite of this. I mean, what are your impressions of those chips? Well, those chips were good. I'd say they're real good and I have nothing, they're great, actually, almost, I'd argue. Yeah. But Mars bars is a piece of, I think, I think blind taste test, I might take these, might assume these cheese and onion or sour cream and onions and I wonder if that's just what they call a sour cream and onion chip over there.

I agree. Um, the Yorkies going around now, raisin and biscuit. What were you saying about the Mars bar, Armin? I just thought it was a piece of Milky Way. Got it. And Mitch, what did you have over there? The Yorkie. What did you think of that Yorkie?

No. Armin, you seem to have a very negative reaction to that. So this has a chocolate coating much to my surprise. It's broken into little pieces, so I'm going to take an individual square. I like the Yorkie. Consider me a fan of the Yorkie, Armin's getting up and is maybe sick. He's shaking his hands out for some reason. I'm not sure what you're doing exactly.

Do you have some sort of allergy? What's going on? No. Okay. Armin doesn't want to speak. I'm going to take a bite of the Yorkie. Also, Yorkie also a very adorable dog breed. Yeah, no, the Yorkie just has a thing that it made your whole mouth feel that tingly

feeling. I don't know what the hell he's talking about. It was good. There's little raisins in there. I don't know, man. I don't like candy. You don't like candy? No, I'd rather.

Finally, we got the galaxy. This is smooth milk. I hate chocolate. This reminds me of the stuff I ate as a kid. I think this is really good. Armin, try it. Give it to Nick. If you don't like it.

I mean, this is just... Nick, could you go in the fridge? You actually get the... This is the most unhealthy. Yeah. We go in the fridge and get the orange drink that's in the fridge. Orange drink. Okay.

Right back. I always got a whole heap of dead air there. Are you talking about this Fanta orange? Mm-hmm. Is that what you're talking about? All right, I'm going to pass that one over to you. It wasn't that much dead air. Just a little bit.

You guys can help yourself. Nick, you can try the galaxy. Try the galaxy. The Yorkie was better than I expected. Like, a lot better. Mm-hmm. The raisin kind of disappears, and it's more just sort of a crunchy, chocolatey sort of flavor.

Tell me what you think of that galaxy bar. Give this galaxy a bite. Because I'm all on board. I think the galaxy bar is out of this world. Ooh, baby. That is smooth milk. Mm-hmm. Armin did not like it.

Mm-hmm. Armin, why don't you open that up and pour a little bit in your cup? What? Oh, this? The orange drink there. So Fanta obviously exists in the United States. We got ourselves a UK Fanta, which is different. So Armin.

Yeah, give me a little taste. There you go, buddy. I mean, I'm in a new place in my life right now. Yeah, that's Nick. So he can pour himself some. I mean, you're drinking out of a Doughboy's mug, I should note. Which is also, the Doughboy's mug printed without us with like very dark complexions for some reason.

That is true. Problematic. Who knows? A little problematic. I also want to say that Armin, for whatever reason, and the reason it went to dead air is he's refusing to pass things along for whatever reason. That is not true. And the audience should know that I've passed everything along.

I merely don't like my fingers to be dirty. Oh, that's right. I was wondering what the hell was going on with you. Take a break and wash your hands. No, don't take a break. He wants to wash his hands. He's going crazy about it. He's got no CD thing.

All right, Nick, try the Fanta so that we can all chime in on the Fanta. Hold on. I've still got a lot of water in this. It's a giant suicide cup, suicide squad cup. What was this from? I went and saw Suicide Squad and I got of the free cup. Oh, OK. So you got this at the theater.

So I've been drinking water out of this. It's been like a 64-ounce cup. So I still got a lot of water in it. Let me try to chug the rest so I got room for this Fanta. You for sure are filled with piss right now. Hold on. I mean... Did you take a sip of the Fanta?

Yes. And let me tell you, it tastes pretty bad. I actually prefer the Fanta from America. Oh, wow. All right. Wow. Wait, will you hand me the Fanta back, Armin? Yeah.

Is the audience... Oh, I like it. ...here for all this? Yeah, they're here for all this. I mean, this will be on the episode. The audience will have stopped this episode a long time ago. We maybe should edit the part where there is dead hair for 30 seconds. Yeah.

All right, I'm going to take a sip of the Fanta. Audience, let me ask you a question. You eat something, you get dirty fingers. You eat those fried chicken, a disgusting Yorkie. For me, I got to wash those hands immediately and not just if I'm picking up my Nintendo Switch or whatever, but it's just gross. And all your friends just look at all them. They don't wash their hands ever.

And I think it's weird. Right. And it makes me feel crazy. And yeah, also, you know, for your women, you got to keep them clean. Right. I think that's fair. I mean... You have to wash them right away.

What's a good hashtag if you have to wash them right away? I got one for not washing it. If you're a guy who wants to wash right away, hashtag scrubba dub dub. And if not, grit and bare it. Oh, that's great. Why? You liked it too much. Why is that great?

I liked it a lot. Okay, so how are we doing this Mitch? We're voting on which one was our favorite. So what we're going to do is we're going to say our favorite. For each one, we're going to say chip chip if we like it. And if we don't like it, we're going to say cheery no. Cheery no. Okay, chip chip or cheery no.

Okay. Chip chip or cheery no. So first up, Mars bars. Chip chip. Chip chip. Cheery no. Wow. Okay.

Okay. Walker's chips. That's a chip chip, baby. Chip chip. A Yorkie. Surprising chip chip for me. Yeah, I'm also going to say a surprising chip chip. I'll give it a chip chip.

Wait, you will? Yeah. The Yorkie, you hated it. No, but I had a little crunchies inside and I liked it a little. It was nice. What the fuck? You stood up like you were on fire. You were shaking your whole body out.

And you refused to talk and you liked it. My memory of it, thinking about it, it was compared to the gross, smooth chocolate. Cheery no. What's this? Armin, here's your problem. Armin, you're an unreliable narrator. Let's start over. That's your issue.

Stuck the whole episode over? Yeah. I'm a very reliable narrator. People call me the Nick Caraway of UCB. Okay. Oh, my God. All right. All right, so the galaxy bar, chip chip.

Oh, that's a big time chip chip. What was that one? The one that was the milk chocolate bar. Oh, definitely cheery no. Wow. Why didn't you like that one? What the hell is wrong with you? I don't think that, I don't even think, I don't like chocolate.

What the fuck is going on? It's mixed with vanilla, but it's good. That wasn't, it's not. Oh. I'm saying chocolate, plain. I don't know what everyone just likes to do. That brought me back to my childhood. I love it.

Why do they, why do you guys eat it? You want that little just brown chocolate feeling and it's on your, like you need. I don't think about brown. Like I mean like Mars bar, at least it's got a little nougat inside. So you're saying pure chocolate, you're not a fan of. You need some sort of filling or crunch. Yes. That's fair.

I do think that was a really well executed, just smooth milk chocolate. I agree. Well, one last one, Fanta, chip, chip. Fine, chip, chip. Yeah. I mean, my assessment here is boring, but chip, chips all around. I mean, Fanta. Fanta, it's different obviously.

It's more like an orangeina is the best way to kind of describe it. If people have had orangeina here in the States. I mean, I'm not going to get crazy. Go for it. Orangeina is very different, I think. Orangeina is a little bit more. Fanta is more like a sun kiss or like a, you know, some sort of orange soda. It's not quite a sun kiss though, because it's not a syrupy.

It's made with real fruit. Oh, you guys are nice. Yeah. It's made with real fruit. So I think it like says that on seven up, right? Like made with real fruit. No, this, this is, this is slightly. I feel like it's like a less sparkly orangeina is how I would describe it.

Yeah. I really spiraled at the end here. Sorry. No, you didn't. Armin, you did great. I mean, can we really, let's be real. It's so hot in here. The audience really wants to know that I'm like.

I'm hot all the time, but I don't even think it's that hot. Armin, you're wearing a blazer though. You could take off your blazer. No, no, little draper would never. Oh my God. Okay. Hey, and check out tween fast on go 90. Wait, it's not over yet.

All right. Okay. So what is, what is, what is your number one? What's your number one of all the candies? What's our, what's our prime minister? Yes. Of candies. I'm going to go.

Oh, all time? No, among these. What we just tasted. Oh, I was excited. I don't have to limit it to candies of all these things we tasted. I tell you, it's a little bit of an upset, much like Brexit passing. Oh no. But I'd say that my prime minister is the Yorkie.

Wow. Wow. Okay. The Yorkie is very good. My number one, I got to go with the Fanta. Yeah. That's fair. I love the Fanta.

Totally fair. The prime minister. My prime minister is the chips. It's these chips. Walker. Walker. They're walkers. So the runner up, the queen to me would be the galaxy bar.

The queen is the runner up? Yeah. Okay. Wow. And then the Yorkie is. That's problematic. And honestly, I'm not sure. The queen to me, and especially in England.

All right, fine. Number one, the queen is what the prime minister role. That's for me is the Fanta. Right. Number two, for me, the prime minister is the galaxy bar. Number three, I'm going Yorkie. That's whatever. That's Prince Edward.

I'm going to like participate. You know what I mean? Like you guys are so nice to each other. Even though you, you have this dynamic, but for me, it's like, I can't believe. I'm going to be one of the people who comments about you on the Reddit board. Like I can't, like I can't even comprehend. Like you're like, you accept the rules and you talk to each other. I want to state that.

I don't know if anyone in the audience knows this or maybe you do since you've listened to the episodes. I'm, are you okay? Like I just, I'm having a weird moment. I have a weird moment where I realize you guys, they like each other. They're, they're so nice to each other. I am going to start crying because they, they're playing these little rules and they have lists I have crying.

I can't, I can't talk about things this way. I have no idea what's going on. I'm really crying. All right. Your arm is legitimately tearing up. I don't know what's happening where we can, but tonight are both looking at each other baffled. That was snackarkey in the UK.

Also, I wanted to say that it would chip, chip for the cool original Doritos. They would be my number one. They would be the queen, but they're not, I'm not going to allow them. I'll trust you on those though. Are you okay Armin? Yeah, I'm fine. I think I get what you're saying. That's very nice of you to say.

Cause you know what? It's hard. Like you see, we can be nice to each other. All human beings, like it's easy to just stand in the back and make jokes and everything's a joke, you know, cause people die and then I don't take anything seriously anymore. But like when someone else tells me their grandma died, I'm like, all right. Cause I don't, I think everything's a joke now, but I'd like to get back and say that it's beautiful.

We should all be nice to each other. No, I'll put myself with you. We both had a tough year. A couple of years. Oh no, I didn't, I don't want to talk about that. I just mean, no, I know. I'm just saying you've had a tough couple of years. I love pussy.

Okay. Okay. I meant like, I'm a funny guy. I'm just saying fans. Maybe he is bug man. Here's the fans. Does it matter? Fans.

These guys secretly are very nice to each other. They're like, I think they like each other. We do. We've been open. I like, I can't speak for a minute. Is he trying to say that there's something more to our relationship? Well, he did push your fingers together in some sort of motion. Um, you know what?

People say a lot that I use my hands a lot in my acting. I do the same. I'm not an actor, but I use my hands a lot to help convey. You're an actor? I wouldn't, I wouldn't characterize myself as an actor. Okay. I've done some performing, but I'm not, I'm not an actor by anyone's, but certainly by my own assessment.

I definitely, I like Mitch. Mitch is a great dude. He's a very good friend. He's a very funny, talented man. I have a lot of fun when I spend time with him. I like hanging out with him. We haven't, it's not like we've only known each other in professional capacity. For more of our life, we've just known each other as friends.

That's true. And as like guys who just sort of knew each other from around. So yeah, I like Mitch. He, it's, it's easy to get into an adversarial relationship with him because he's a frustrating man. And he's a very strongly opinionated man, but he's a very honest and I feel like true to himself, man. And I definitely respect that.

Thank you, Weigher. Whoa. Weigher is a good man too, a hard worker. And he's not, he's not a robot. Oh, that's nice of you to say. He's flesh and blood. It's true. Bones and blood and flesh.

Like Mecca and Orga. Right. Exactly. Everyone will know that reference. I've worked with both of you now this year. Armin and Nick. Right. What?

Armin, was I frustrating to work with? When did we, oh. Hey, yeah, I worked with Mitch. Like in a professional setting. It's true. Well, we also already have. Yeah, you guys have done that. Listen, yeah, Mitch is great.

I'm just a great guy. I can't say the truth now. Armin, you're a great guy. You're a very talented man. I used to be a fun guy. Very funny man, a great actor. You, you have, no, you have like a lot of, don't cry. You put like a lot of your, I feel like you,

like as, as strange of a man as you are, I feel like you're able to channel whatever energy is within you into your skills as a thespian. This is way too nice for real. And you're, you're a great man. You're a very, very fun guy to hang out with and have conversations with. You're not going to say that when you see what I did later this year.

What does that mean? There's something embarrassing coming out this year that I think I'll be made fun of by everyone. I saw, I know of it now. That's all I'll say. Okay. What? You already knew about it.

No, not the secret project. Oh, okay. There's a few things that Armin's working on that are very funny. You're in something that you're maybe not, whether you're proud of it or not, it's something that's exposed you a little bit. There's one thing that's coming up that I have a feeling will I'll be made fun of a lot.

Right. Armin is rebooting the movie Old School. Wow. That is not, that's, I don't even, I've worked with Todd before and let me tell you, he's, he's great. I would never reboot anything. When I'm looking it up and it says you're playing

the Luke Wilson and the Vince Vaughn roles. That's going to be crazy to see. Like any Murphy thing? Yeah. Well, look, I don't, I can't support this joke, as I said, because I would never reboot a classic. Wow. I love Old School.

When you put it in the classic, I guess I would put it in the comedy. I mean, I don't know. A comedy classic, sure. For sure. A lot of laughs. Oh, tons. And you're my boy, Blue.

You know what, you know what it's right next to? School for scoundrels. School for scoundrels. And what's the other one you're in? You think of another school movie? There's tons of films and great things you can watch. Todd's made and other great directors, such as, I don't know what Mitch is referring to.

The movie you were in was Stifler. Oh, right. Role models. Role models. But that's not a Todd Phillips movie. It's not a Todd Phillips. This is David Wayne, who's a wonderful director. Later, I win something that I think I'll be made fun of.

But both school related. Both of you are playing kind of a college age, sort of high school age kind of guy. Yes, you know. It's time for you to grow up. I would say that. I was playing against type in the role models. I think it was, you know,

you wouldn't probably think of me as like a jock, but I am in real life. That's what's so interesting. That was Snack Harky in the UK. Just like a restaurant, we've got your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email comes to us from Ian Giesbrett.

Sorry if I'm butchering that name Ian. I've also got a last name that people will often mispronounce, so I empathize with however I just butcher that. Ian writes, hi guys, you're great. I was inspired to write you after the McNuggets talk during the Chompionship. I have a certain way of eating McNuggets. I remove the breading from one,

eat the chicken plain, put the breading aside, repeat until all I have left is a pile of chicken McNuggets breading. There's some meat attached of course, the system isn't perfect. I know this is gross and wrong, but also I can't stop.

I don't do it with any other chicken finger. My question is, do you or your guests have any particular methods whereby you have to eat a fast food item? Keep on trucking Ian, a 37 year old father who eats a handfuls of McNuggets breading. This is like that, Ian.

This is like that, Ian. With Stimpy. Yeah. With Stimpy's fan club. That's what I feel like right now, because I want to tell this man that this is, he knows it's wrong, so I guess I can't,

but anyway, I shouldn't have started talking. Armyn and I have a very much Red and Stimpy relationship, I feel like. Right. You say that all the time. I'm not mad at this man for pulling the breading off the chicken nuggets, but it is weird.

It's very strange. It's very strange. I don't know, I don't know if I have any... I think it's completely taking everything away from the whole experience. He's ruining the McNugget. Here's what I do. He's nice.

He has a child. Here's what I do sometimes that's weird that I've talked about this before. So I take the slice of pizza. I will take bite one and bite two from the edges of the crust. So I have basically the shape of an arrow head with like one bite of crust that I'm holding onto

with my thumb and forefinger, and the rest of the slice of the pizza. So I'm getting most of the crust out of the way at first. Dustin. Then I eat the... Dustin, start grabbing this up. Then I eat the whole slice of regular pizza, and then I eat just that last little bit

that my finger is holding is my final bite. I won't do that with every slice of pizza, but I will do that sometimes. Okay, so like me, you have obsessive-compulsive disorder, and this is a way for you to eat the... you have to eat the pizza in a certain way. I mean, I haven't been diagnosed with OCD or anything, like I don't want to just...

Is that... Self-diagnose, but I have... That is a particular... But partly that comes from me just enjoying the crust the least. I think... Yes, for like a couple sandwiches, I have to like eat it to like the best bite is left, and I do that with pizza too,

and I kind of like eat the pizza down to like one last good bite. But I don't know if I do anything specific, like whatever this guy's... What's his name again? Ian. Ian, what Ian does, I don't think... I don't think I do that with any food.

Yeah, no, I think you guys gotta... You shouldn't do that. You should, you know, let them touch the mashed potatoes and the chicken, that kind of stuff. I feel guilty. Ian, I don't... You can do whatever you want. I mean, honestly.

Right. And I think maybe me having to wash my hands, maybe. Is that something that's wrong with me? No, I mean... I think that's fair. Like Howard Hughes. Honestly, you did it, and I've got like a chocolatey hand

that I've just been obsessing over since you stood up and washed your hands. Yeah, because I can't touch... Especially with controllers. Yeah. Your friends are hanging out? That's a big thing. I guess I don't know...

Four player games? No, for sure. Check out Towerfall on the PlayStation. Towerfall is a great game. Right. And check out Breath of the Wild. It's good. Yeah, I still got it for the Wii U.

I told you guys, but I didn't mention on the podcast, but I had... We hadn't hooked up our Wii U since we moved. And so I spent like the bulk of the day just hooking up a Wii U for the first time in like close to a year. And I had to like find the power supply,

find the charging cable and everything and like boxes that were just in the closet. And then by the time I installed a system update, and then I put the disc of Zelda and had another system update, I didn't get to fucking play the game at all. It took like four to six hours of my Sunday. Natalie messaged me and she said that it was

the most exciting day of her marriage. No. Ian, that's weird. We all agree, but you know, do whatever you like. Keep on truckin'. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants,

you can email us at dowboyspodcast at gmail.com. To get the Dowboys double our weekly bonus episodes, subscribe at patreon.com slash dowboys. That's where Fat Chance Kitchen is living this month and future Dowboys episodes will... The bonus episodes will live there.

Armin Weitzman, thanks so much for joining us. Go ahead, buddy. I was just gonna say, if anyone wants to play League of Legends against me, you can find me at... Wait, should I not do that?

Yeah, go ahead. Think about your handle. Oh, my God. And I'm learning to play League of Legends. There's probably some League of Legends listeners. If I was an NBA player, I would say this, and then you could find me out there.

Right. But also, I'm kidding around. I make some jokes on there. Oh, that's fun. I bet people like that in the chat. No, no, I don't. I just... This was a big mistake.

I can't see other people. Do you want us to censor your name? I'll tell you guys later. Okay. Have you tried out Heroes of the Storm at all? It's like the Blizzard version. It's a little bit of a simplified moba. I think Heroes of the Storm is very dirty

and doesn't work. Wow. And I don't understand why it's Steam. Is that something else that makes you, like, go into your computer? Why is it saying it needs to look at my computer? Well, I don't like it. I don't think the Blizzard games are available on Steam.

I understand. I'm just trying to pretend I know. Okay, are you all right, Armin? Steam is something, though. Yeah, Steam is like a client. Oh, civilization. Yeah. Okay, I've been trying to get more into video games

the past year or so, trying to really... Because I only play the old games. Oh, my God. Anyway, I don't know how to play these new games, you kids. Just play Breath of the Wild. Halo. Oh, kiss, kiss, bang, bang in America. You know, it's just...

It's never... I prefer to watch me walk on the fields. Right. Stick with us. Stick with the adventure genre. That seems like the Zelda's the game for you. Oh, sure. I've been walking around with these shooters and these MOBAs.

Hey, Mario's are like the chicken nuggets of... Mario's like the chicken nuggets of the human characters. And Zelda's the Big Mac. Oh, all right. That's fair. That means Zelda is better than Mario. Sometimes you could probably argue that if you wanted, I wouldn't be that mad, but I mean...

You know, while we're here, let's just do this real quick and then we'll wrap it up. How would you rank the Nintendo franchises? What would be your queen prime minister and... What was the third one? Prince Edward. Prince Edward. I would say...

I'll start things off. Hmm. Mario's the queen. Yeah. Zelda is the prime minister. Okay. Oh, okay. We'll say Prince Harry.

Okay. And my Prince Harry... Hmm. Tough. It's tough. I think my Prince Harry is going to be Metroid. Oh, my God. Is the cart series separate?

Yeah, I'd say the cart series is separate from Mario. Okay. Yeah, because I'm saying mainline Mario's. If you took Mario as a whole, I mean, I think that's just too dominant, right? Well, right, because it's Donkey Kong. Does that count as Mario? Donkey Kong, I think, is its own franchise.

And Yoshi is Mario. Yoshi kind of falls under the Mario umbrella, but you could make a case with Yoshi's Island, Yoshi's Story. That's what I'm saying. And Mega Man is not part of this, because he's not really... Mega Man is Capcom, yeah.

We're talking Nintendo first party. So... You got to say your first, second, and third. Okay, well, the first is Mario and the second is Zelda and the third... I don't know, Pokemon? Pokemon's a very good pick. I don't really know anything about Pokemon that much, though.

You don't know? Wait, you're throwing Pokemon? I just meant I think they're funny. I like them. Okay. My queen is Mario. Hell yeah. Prime Minister is Zelda.

Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. And finally... Wow, I can't believe this. I'm in the Handholding Club with Nick. Samus. Wow. It's by Prince Edward. I got to go...

The Metroid is... What other franchises are there? I think Donkey Kong you can throw in there. Donkey Kong vs. Metroid is very... Kirby is great. Kirby's number three. Their Kirby games are fantastic. You could make a case for something like Mario Kart

in that third slot. I thought we were in a little county. No, you can. It's just separate. And of course... You say Mario Kart is your three. Super Smash Bros. is the number three. A lot of people would probably put Pokemon as their number one.

Super Smash Bros. I love Super Smash Bros. Mario Kart is tough for me because there were two great... Yeah, they're not good anymore. Two amazing games that kind of defined that genre. And then after that, they've just been okay. Okay, Armin has to go. We should wrap things up.

Armin, do you have anything else you would like to plug beside your handle on League of Legends? Yeah, just check out another period. It's coming out this summer. It's not your typical show. It takes place in 1904. Right. The tagline is not your typical show.

And look, you know, upcoming secret project coming out soon. Or maybe not. I guess things go bad. And also, Armin is going to be playing Lorne Michaels in a movie soon. That was the thing that he was trying to say that he'd be embarrassed by. I'm saying I can sense that I had to do the voice.

Yeah. I hope I did a good job, but... I'm sure you did a great job. It'll be the end of me. I'm sure you did a great job. They'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Tune in next week as the tournament of champions continues. Until next time, for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger.

Happy eating. And also, check out Love on Netflix. You gotta. See ya.