Doughboys - Tournament of Chompions: Wendy’s v. Wingstop with Matt Selman

Episode Date: March 23, 2017

The second matchup of the Munch Madness 2017 semifinals finds returning guest Matt Selman (The Simpsons) discussing his history as Mitch’s boss, and his role in helping to create fictional chain restaurant Cletus’ Chicken Shack. Can tournament favorite Wendy’s, minus its signature Spicy Chicken Sandwich due to a ban from Commissioner Susser, prevail over surprise first round winner Wingstop? Plus, a closely contested rematch of The Wiger Challenge. Make YOUR chompion predictions @ www.feralaudio.com/chompions2017Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Deflategate, Spygate, Eligible Receivergate, Plowgate. Though they've amassed more Super Bowl titles than any team in the modern era, the legacy of the New England Patriots is forever tainted by their numerous high-profile scandals in which they flouted the NFL's rules for a decisive advantage. Now Wendy's faces a scandal of its own, Mitchgate. Though they triumphed over Chick-fil-A in a unanimous decision in the sandwich region, the penalty imposed by tournament commissioner Evan Susser means they must compete this week without the asset that earned them a ticket to Munch Madness, the spicy chicken sandwich.

Their competitor, Wingstop. The surprise winner of the Wings region over favorite B-Dubs, will their Atomic Cinderella story continue, or will they be turned back into a lemon pepper pumpkin owned by Rick Ross? Whoever prevails will advance to a three-way finals against Popeyes in the winner of Fat Chance Kitchen, the tournament's loser bracket. Whose birds will emerge victorious in the battle for the most prestigious trophy in chain restaurant competition, the Dave Thomas Cup, this week on Doughboys.

The second and final matchup of the semi-soft final round of Munch Madness, the Tournament of Chompians, Chicken Fight, presented by Starburn's Industries, Wendy's, Wingstop. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. We're productionofferralaudio.com. I'm Nick Weigar, alongside my co-host, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Mitch, how you doing? Weigar, you know, I wanted to say, well, first of all, you did the verses and let's it go well.

Yeah, I finally got to a point where I pulled it off competently. I mean, it still wasn't that good. No, it wasn't good. But also, you looked at me and our guests, who we'll introduce in just a second, and you said that I wrote this intro for you two. You guys are going to like this. And then it was, of course, we don't like it. We're Patriots fans.

And also, Mitch Gate. That was Susser's name for the scandal. All right. Well, it's what we're running with. I mean, look, we could say that all the gate-based scandals are kind of poorly named. It's all based off Watergate. Right. Watergate, which was a hotel name.

We had to put a stop to that. I mean, I could go on and on about how Deflate Gate is garbage, which almost everyone, almost every person, like every columnist thinks that Deflate Gate is bullshit. I actually agree with you. I think that Deflate Gate is a non-scandal. But it's not a talk about it. It is a scandal because it's an NFL scandal. Like, it should be a bigger deal because the NFL was insane.

Yeah. Like, Roger Goodell was insane. Goodell is horrible. He's horrible. He's really bad at his job. And like, it should be a bigger deal of how he reacted to everything. Right. And how the NFL also didn't give out the information when they tested football.

It's insane. Yeah. It's all insane stuff. Spygate, by the way, for those who don't know, I'm just going to quickly go over it. I just want to quickly, quickly, quickly go over this. Okay. Spygate, the New England Patriots got in trouble for filming games during the games. They had cameras set up on the sideline, which is allowed, but it's not allowed in

certain areas of the field. You can't tape the game from certain areas of the field. And that rule changed. In the next season, they were still recording from the areas where they used to be able to record from. Areas. That you, that you used to be able to record from. That is all that spy gate is the Patriots never recorded any sort of walkthrough of

a practice of the Super Bowl, which is that there were allegations that they did that. It wasn't true. So what they did is like spy gate itself is so small and not even that big of a deal. The flake gate is garbage. The Patriots are better than the Lakers as a team. Oh boy. Okay. Hey, our guest just had a pitch.

He showed me on the, on the notes app on his phone, Mitch gate should be called inflate gate. All right, let's introduce him. You know a pro bar. I can't, I can't say anything back to him because you guys have a unique status between the two of you. The guests from our Buffalo Wild Wings episode, an executive producer and writer for the Simpsons, Matt Selman, returning to the podcast.

Hi, Matt. Hi guys. I'm back. I'm honored to be back. Oh, we were thrilled to have you and I should recap for, for anyone who might be joining the podcast at midstream and maybe this is the first episode you listen to, we're in the midst of our tournament of the best chain restaurant. This is the first episode they're going to listen to.

People do. We get new listeners every, every week. So they won't listen again. So you don't have to explain. Well, most episodes begin with you ranting with tears in your eyes about how the NFL was unfair to the Patriots. You know that that's true. I believe you.

It's fun to needle you over, but I think I generally agree with you. DeVleicated seems like complete garbage. I mean, you agree, right, Selman? Yeah, it's complete garbage, but talk to the rings. Yeah. Talk to the rings. I agree with that. I 100% agree with that.

Plus the Patriots are going to get those, those picks back through ingenious trading and deal making, Brandon Cooks and whatnot. They actually, they, they actually might be, there's a lot of people who don't like NFL talk on the pot, but sometimes we get to get into it sometimes. The Patriots look really, really, they, they, they, like, I'm like, are they going to lose next year? They look even better. A Super Bowl championship team is now even more stacked.

How old is Brady? He's got to be, I guess, 40 this next season, right? Which, which maybe I'm wrong on that number, but, but also that makes me also think that maybe they will be bad because it's so, it's like the, the lake, remember when the Lakers got, uh, what was that? The White Howard and Steve Nash, are you talking about that? Oh, are you talking about earlier? It was in the Shaq era when they get Carl Malone and Gary Payton, Carl, Carl Malone

and Gary Payton. I thought for sure they were like, they, they were a, a Carl Malone injury away from, from beating the, maybe beating the Detroit Pistons. I mean, the Pistons were really good that season. Yeah. Um, in the finals. But yeah, that, that team just sometimes this, the Super team just doesn't quite come together.

Yeah. Yeah. Like Golden State this year. Oh boy. It might be too early to say that, but maybe. Speaking of Golden, this chicken right now, what's the question? Am I skipping ahead? No.

We'll get there. Well, go on. Uh, uh, someone was going to say is that you were here for the Buffalo Wild Wings episode and Buffalo Wild Wings has been eliminated from the tournament. Um, do you have any feelings on that? Well, let's just, right now, let's just check my stocks here for a second. Okay. Cause you're an investor.

Buffalo Wild Wings right after doing the last podcast where I went there and was so impressed by the franchise, the choices. I think a good investment regardless. And it is, I think the last time I checked, I was down about $2,000. Oh, wow. So, wow. You know, it's, it's kind of a cyclical, it's really only does as well as the NFL speaking of deflate gate and.

Oh, interesting. And their fortunes are really rise and fall with, you know, people's attachment to sports narratives, regularly NFL, well, then March, they should be on the rise then, right? That's true. Pack it in for college basketball. Maybe it'll go up too. And also everyone going in, uh, because of munch madness to see if B dubs deserve to win or not.

Um, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure that's going to get all his money back. Uh, speaking of companies, can we, can we talk about. What we did the other day? What are you talking about? Doughboys. Oh, you're, you're talking about how we, so yeah, we, we formed a Doughboys corporation

for podcasts related income. And we went and did, we went and saw my accountant and also was also Maddie Smith's accountant, very nice man, Doug Albano and too much info on this accountant already. Oh, he's a good man. He was a good guy. He's also Maddie Smith's interesting. Yeah. I'm giving a rec from a previous guest of the podcast.

We love Maddie. I'm just saying that's a boring point. All right. Fine. I'm sorry for saying that I have the same accountant as a friend. Thank you. Well, we'll edit this out. We went to see, it never, it never gets, we never had anything out.

We went to see my accountant and to set up a corporation for podcast related income for a variety of reasons. And I just want to say that you're looking at the president of the Doughboys corporation. Oh, Michael Mitchell is the president of Doughboys Corp. And what are you? I'm the vice president. Vice president. I'm not the maid.

My title is vice, I'm vice president and treasurer and you are president and secretary. Yeah. So you're like the Wario. Well, we, hey, I'll be the war. I mean, you're physically, you're like the Wario, hey, but I'll be the Wario is cool. I'll be the Wario. Who's the war Doughboys corporation? The evil version of the Doughboys corporation that's that's competent.

I can learn the evil version of some good Doughboys corporation. Yeah. Well, I'm glad that Doughboys is bringing in some income. We're, we, we were the of incorporating S corp or C corp. It's an S corp. S corp. Okay. So that's gonna have some effects on your, what you spend on, what you should be to healthcare

and that kind of thing. Right. But I actually, as I was waiting here to be on today's podcast, I went to a website called Patreon and signed up for Doughboys doubles. Wow. Salmon. Thank you. The support for that has been very, very nice.

Nice for everyone who's subscribed. Everyone who's subscribed, Spencer, our guest in the Doughboy double, he's subscribed. There's a lot of, a lot of great support and we appreciate it. Doug Albano pretty much told us he was like, someday you guys might make some money on this. That's basically what he said. Right. It was all speculative.

We didn't realize that this was such a thing to do, to do this, to do, to set up a corp. Right. That's not that much of a to do. Yeah. Patreon sounds like some kind of new government system they will all have to register for. Yeah. Like, you know, like, if you don't sign up for Patreon, you're a trader and have to go in one of the camps.

It does. It does sound kind of, it has like a nefarious, yeah. Right. Like, you know, fascistic name. Right. It's like in Final Fantasy VII, the Shinra Corporation. There's always like this. What's another ominous corporation from a science fiction film?

Whalen Katani. Yeah. What's the, what's the corporation in RoboCop? Oh, shit. That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah. You got to look that up.

All right. But yeah, you guys know what we're talking about, operating within that genre. It does kind of have an ominous name. I met the guy who in RoboCop, the guy who gets covered in the toxic sludge and then gets hit by a car. Whoa. What's this? He's a director.

He's like a, he's like a director in Hollywood. Yeah. I know you mean. I don't know his name. Yeah. I've met that guy. OmniconsumerProducts. Yes.

Yeah. Patreon is like an OmniconsumerProducts type of company. Yeah. Well, it says, I mean, this is public information here. So I'm not revealing the secrets of Doughboy's corporation. It says you have 1,836 patrons so far. Yeah. We got a decent number of subscribers.

Yeah. That's pretty good. I mean, do the math, guys. Times five divided by two. Now we're all. Minus Dustin. Now we're all very, now Nick and I are very self-conscious about it. That's good.

The excellence deserves to be rewarded. Oh. Keep going. Thanks. Thanks, Salman. Far from excellent. Yeah. It's a bad podcast.

Well, it's certainly, there's a lot worse for sure. There are a lot of worse podcasts than ours. People like to watch like, like, like people get hit by trains and stuff. Yeah. They like to watch those dark web videos or whatever. And I feel like people listening to us is kind of similar. They like to, they like to hear two fuck ups. They want to see what goes wrong.

Yeah, exactly. All right. So and to recap on the rules of the tournament real quick. So side stay on the sidelines. Drinks are in the Gatorade jug. Also on the sidelines. We're just reviewing chicken here. A few people on Twitter pitched drinks are in the sink, which I think is pretty good,

but drinks are in the sink. Yeah. Like you're pouring the drinks down the sink. The sink that is on the sideline of a basketball court. Well, foot or footballs or is it football or basketball? It should be basketball. I guess we should do basketball. We've always been thinking about it in football terms.

Yeah. It's not, it's not a football game. All right. You're right. It should be a basketball. All right. We're going to do one for sides too. Great.

The sink, I guess, is in the locker room. I'm just going to, I guess we'll just overrule that. It'll be, the drinks will still be in the Gatorade jug. Why did you even consider it as my question to you, you weirdo? A bunch of people were like, it's got to be drinks in the sink. Like enough people were like, I got to say something. Really? Yeah.

I was getting pestered about saying. So like two people said something? At least a half dozen people were saying that, because I originally was saying drinks are in the stink. We amended it to drinks are in the Gatorade jug also on the sidelines because stink was too amorphous. And then, and also sounds kind of dirty. Are there really Gatorade's jugs on the sideline of basketball games too?

Maybe not. I feel like somewhere I see people with little cups of Gatorade. I don't know where they're being dispensed from. Oh well, we'll discuss this after the podcast. We'll have a breakdown. Hey, you know, if you out there know whether or not there are Gatorade jugs on the sideline, hashtag jug truth. Jug truth?

Yeah. Let us know the truth about jugs. Speaking of which, I fucked up. I was talking to someone about this. I was in Paris and I said, Pulp Fiction fiction. It turns out that someone tweeted at us, right? Susser was telling me last night that someone tweeted at us. You were talking about, this might have been on a double episode.

And you were talking about how the Royale with cheese does not exist in Paris as opposed to what they talk about in Pulp Fiction. And then someone hit you back with a picture. It does exist and I got to look through my tweets. I haven't looked through them this week or whatever, but I think it does exist. I think I think that I fucked up. But to give me credit, I was every McDonald's that I saw in London and Paris, I didn't eat anything from McDonald's, but I went into a couple of them.

They were all touchscreen. There was there were no, there was no place to order. There was no like board with menu items on them. Yeah. Talk about dystopian. Yeah. Well, I just was at a Clippers game. That's an indication of the quality of the seats.

Oh my God, Selman. That's insane. Let me, let me take a look. Oh, wow. Selman is holding up a extreme close up of Blake Griffin. Starfish as a Clippers. Yeah. Basically is ass and back.

There's my daughter. Wow. Look at all that. She's cute. I'm looking at all these pictures. There are, I have to see if any of the players are drinking anything. The food there is free also if you sit there. Selman, I feel like part of this appearance is you just bragging about your stockholding

to your Clippers season. Well, you know, I feel like that's like my like comedic persona a little bit that like, can you believe how much this dick hole brags about his medium level success? But then like so many people don't think the idea that anyone would ever say that is a joke. Right. That it comes off as dickish. And it's also a little bit genuine.

Selman, I may have. So it really is a low upside move. But you know, I also like to provide like, it's like a, you know, a little pinhole view into the lifestyles of the Los Angeles. Look, there's James Harden. That's pretty great. You know, that's a good scene. That's a good game to go.

Wow. Houston Rockets stand out. That's why I had to go see Harden play. Possible MVP this year. Yeah. He was like a giant ballerina out there. It was amazing. He's amazing.

We talked about this on past episodes. Selman for Christmas one year bought me a peanut butter stirrer so that I could stir up the peanut butter at Simpsons. And real quick, Mitch, clarify your guys working relationship. Just remind everyone. Selman was, so Selman was, Selman was one of like the first LA foodie guys I ever knew because I started working at the Simpsons in 2007, right? When the writer strike happened, basically, right?

I joined right, right then and after, and when it was ending. Basically, your job is, as my job is basically to get lunches, get coffees are two big huge everyday things that you have to do that are the biggest and then do whatever people ask you to do and then highlight scripts and send them out to actors and stuff like that, set up table reads, set up records. And that was basically it. And besides that, anytime, you know, the writers needed something, getting dinner, which hope, you know, we never want it to happen.

And then, you know, the writers don't want to stay late, you know, but that was kind of that was the whole setup of the job. And it was, it was, it wasn't a hard job, but it was, it was long, long hours. And then you always have to kind of do stuff here and there, but I love old, I loved old the guys. They're, you know, the whole staff was, was great. But like Mitch, you know, you always say like, oh, Selman, I'll always see you as this authority figure or whatever.

But come on, we're, we're peers now, we're your writer, your actor, I'm a writer, we're just writers together. We're all three peers sitting at a table like you did a voice on the Simpsons. I said, would you come, slend your talents to the show? And you said, yes, you sure you shared it with us. Selman, Selman made a dream of mine come true and I am very grateful. And I made a dream of mine come true. The Boston episode of the Simpsons from, was it this past season, previous season, right?

Very funny episode. You're, you're in a very, your guy, the guy you voiced, Mitch is in pretty great shape. That's what you had to point out. I feel like it, but also it's very Mitch-like. It has a, it has a, it has a Mitch vibe to him. Right. Yeah. He's like a big hulking dude, but he's like, he's like, you, if you got, you got just

jacked. Yeah. He was pretty, he was pretty jacked. Yeah. Sorry that he wasn't fatter. Why? No, I'm not saying that. I was like, no.

Should we go back and change it? Because we can do things with digital now. I'm not calling you on to use a post-production process to plump up Mitch's character design. I think that it was, it was very much in the spirit of you as a man, but he was also like just a very, a jacked version of you. Yes. Yes. He was.

And he was great. He was a great, it was a dream come true to be on there. Selman helped me out. You know what? Here's a little behind the scenes. At one point you had me read for the Brady character too, when Homer is, is, is, I did a bad job, but yeah, that didn't do great, but, but also I didn't know what he wanted the voice to be.

When I heard what you, when I heard what you wanted, I was like, oh, that's what they want. Like a, like a, it was, it was, it was hard for me to, but the guy who did it was Michael Chickless. Oh, that's right. And then there's another great. It was like BFF of Tom, Tommy, Tommy Brady, as he calls him. So like, just to have Chickless pretend to be a Brady type guy in this poking fun role,

just added more insider fun. The commission, the shield, right? And the thing in the original Fantastic Four, and the thing in the original Fantastic Four. And now he's on that baby Batman show. Gotham. Oh, is he? Oh yes. Batman babies, Batman babies.

He is like the craziest Patriots fan. He really is insane. Cause the one time I went to the Super Bowl, sorry, again, everyone, there was this Seattle year or two years ago, and he was in the Fox, Fox van afterwards Patriots, just one, an amazing semi come from behind and then amazing interception. Like as exciting as a game as you ever could have seen, and Chico was, was in the van ranting about the refs, but how bad they were and how they hated the Pats, which we just won. Right.

We're in a van. Olaf from frozen is here. In the van. It's like we were about to go eat fancy food. Did he yell its clobbering time and destroy the referees? No, he was just angry about the refs. I was kind of angry about the refs in that game too. We're terrible fans.

I guess. We're annoying fans. They did win. They did win. Is that a Boston characteristic? Because one thing I think I've noticed about you, Mitch, and I don't know if this is something generalizable to people from Boston, people from Massachusetts, but it seems like you always have something to complain about.

It's like, no, thanks, Nick, no, I think this is true. It seems like whatever success you reach or whatever, however well something goes, there's always something that you're going to complain about. I mean, do you think that's, do you think that's, is that inaccurate? I also feel like the way that the Patriots had been treated in the last few years is a reason for that. I feel like the Patriots have, because I don't really complain about the Celtics too much. You'd say that I'm not that annoying of a fan, because I'll sum up to you what I think

it is, and I wonder if someone will agree. Go for it. But I don't think I'm that annoying of a fan. Do you think so? I don't think you're that annoying of a fan. I think it's kind of endearing how much you care. I love the Patriots, I love the Celtics, and I love the Red Sox. Those are my three.

I used to love the Red Sox the most, but maybe Patriots more than any team now, and I really love the Celtics. And you and I kind of, you know, like you and I, the Celtics Lakers rivalry, we kind of, that's how we bonded a little bit. Yeah. We have some playful feuding over that. Yeah. And we're both, we're both big basketball fans.

Yeah. You actually probably. You have the green Celtics mouth puff. No, that's true. That's true. Yeah. You should get a purple one. We each have to speak into other ones.

So we're spitting onto the other color or whatever. Our microphone puffs are green, and mine is red. I have to show no wager or something that I'm using. You could keep. So like, well, but it's human nature also just to be, to be, to complain a lot, right? Yeah. Well, I think that I think that most. Hey, how about that?

Wait, is that you as a kid? Young Selman and showing my Celtics green. Selman, Selman is, I want to say you're like 14 there. I'm not sure how old you think you are. I'm 12. 12. And you've got a shirt that says, let's get it back Celtics and some, some nice green short shorts.

Looking very sharp. Show that to Mitch. I saw it. I love that photo. Very, very much. That's great. We'll provide a link on the website. That's like, that's like if you made like a Boston movie that took place in like the

80s or like that, you'd have to see that. You'd have to see that guy walk by. Young Mitch would have beaten unholy crap out of me, even with, even with the shirt. Which is saying something because there was, then there was a crowd of people waiting to beat me up too. I think the Boston fans are annoying because there's a lot of, a lot of the fandom is people that come, are the college students who come into the city and they're, and like after, you know, like after the Red Sox one in the writing, like that's so much of the college

kids and like the annoying, they're, you think transplants come there and I think it's transplants and then also like the, the outskirts. I think the city of Boston as a whole, I don't think that the fans are as annoying. There are some for sure. We have some bad fans. All right. Come on. We're, we're not that bad.

I'm telling you, it's not. I think, I think you guys always, I think there's always complaining and maybe it has, I would do a Dodgers game and I was wearing a Red Sox hat at a Dodgers game. They weren't playing the Red Sox and they threatened to beat me up. Well, why the fuck were you wearing a Red Sox hat to a random Dodgers game? Because it's American League and it's not like saying, why would you wear a red bandana into the Crips territory? Like, can we challenge the idea that violence is appropriate?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yes, fair. Yes, that's fair. I think that's the violence are appropriate, but I'm all, I'm also saying that why would it feels like you're looking to cause trouble? I would. How? Look, if you were in the Giants hat, obviously, you would deserve permanent.

Yes. OK, all right. Like that guy, poor guy. But I think, I think, I think that I think that some college students give us a bad, a bad name. And certainly most of the rioting after 2004 was crazy college people. Yes. It was not like, you know, Mitch is then a live dad.

Yes. Yes, my live dad, now dead, was sitting like in a recliner and was happy. And he like, you know what I mean? Like it was it was mostly college kids that were in Boston is a big college city. So that's kind of I think I think that's a lot of the obnoxious fans. But do you really think because I'm not specifically speaking when you were talking about that I wasn't talking about post-victory rioting. I was talking about just like complaining.

I'm talking about just like the general mindset and mood of like maybe that's boss. I think there's like a defenseiveness, I think. Yeah, like the all non New York cities, let's be let's be honest, have a little bit of like pushback. That's true. That's why I go so hard to Chicago. Also, also New York does too, New York does too. But Chicago, I give a lot of shit to because they like are just like,

we're the best one after New York and like maybe we're even better than New York. And people are just like dismiss Boston. I feel like like we're garbage up in the Northeast and people just don't care about it as much. So I guess that's where a lot of the the chip on the shoulder comes from. It's like Boston is to New York as like Canada is to US. It's kind of like both an inferiority and a superiority complex. Yes, like like I feel I'm I'm pissed off that I'm disrespected.

But also, I think I'm better than you. Also a very liberal, progressive city and people forget this and we get jokes about it all the time. Right. Yes, I won't get too deep into it. But like like I'm proud of that city. My dad worked there and grew up there. And and and and I thought he was a progressive man. You know what I mean? So so when I do take offense to the city when people rag on it,

which you do constantly, by the way, I've toned that down a little bit. But yes, I have done it in the past. I heard the history of Boston is complicated. I heard that Elizabeth Warren watched that episode and enjoyed it. Oh, that's nice. My connections, very connections. Did she like my part at all? She brought it up.

Yes. So that's the one part she liked the most. Possible future president Elizabeth Warren, who knows possible future do boys guest, even more excited. Selman, do we're specifically in the Boston area or Massachusetts area are you from? I grew up in a town called Watertown, which is nestled nestled between like Newton and Cambridge and Belmont. It's not as famous as town, although it became famous recently when the Marathon bomber ran there.

Right. And there were the big shootout was there and he hit under a boat. Yes. And my dad was bragged to me later. He said, I know that boat and like, you know, army guys with machine guns came to my parents' house and kind of did a little walkthrough. That's crazy. My cousin was one of the cops that was cousin. You should say cousin. My cousin was correct pronunciation.

It was one of the cops that was in that that whole because everyone in Boston really the it was like the city shut down or whatever. It was it was really crazy. My sister was Fenway during that bombing. I didn't see that. I didn't see the movie, the Peter Berg movie. I haven't seen it yet either. What's it called?

Um, Patriots. Bad day. Patriots day. Patriots day. Patriots day. I was about to make an inappropriate joke. So Patriots day. Hey, speaking of Patriots, go to Patreon now and subscribe to the Doe Boys Doubles for five dollars. We took the city came together during that.

Yeah, it was it was a great thing. I'm glad you stopped yourself before you landed that inappropriate joke and became the shame of shame of the city. Even more infamous than Zarnayev. Did you go out? Did you audition for Patriots day? I did not. Why would they?

What are your reps doing? Why aren't they sending you out for Patriots day? My reps are your reps. Well, what are they doing? I don't I never I never get Boston auditions. You're such a great bot like you have a such a great Boston look. You are from Boston and you can do a Boston accent. Like you have naturally have a little bit of a Boston accent,

but you can really play it up too. I would have loved to be the guy who like found him or something. You know, found him in the boat and then got his ass kicked. We didn't do. Well, the episode, the the Mitch Simpsons Boston episode was we did not do any marathon bomber comedy in that either feel good about. Right. And but, you know, speaking of it being kind of a provincial place,

sort of the theme of the episode is we're making this episode that only people in Boston will like it and that everyone else will be baffled by it. And, you know, maybe sort of get some of the broad jokes. So it's like the whole theme is like it's a very provincial episode, I would say. And that like it was I only cared if the Boston Globe wrote an article about it and my dad got a lot of phone calls, which which which happened, which did happen. Oh, yeah, I made that happen. But, you know, the only thing I remember out Watertown Watertown growing up

is that I went my mom took me to a magic shop there when I was younger. And I went to like a smoke shop kind of magic shop. It was it was. Yeah, I feel like all all the thing that I found out when I'm older is that most magic shops are also smoke shop, which I didn't realize. They had like kind of birthday cards that had boobs on them. And he was like, Hey, all right. Oh, yeah, I love that sort of thing. But this was like there was like some really cool, like really cool tricks there.

You know, I learned a trick. You know, it's funny. I think that I think Harry Anderson actually did this trick on TV where you take a creamer and you and you and then like you're like, I got something in my eye and you like use like a fork and then you open the creamer. Yeah, it comes out. So when I was younger, I try that on my kids tonight. That is that is a that is a Harry Anderson trick.

And a part of how we know that Eva Anderson, Harry's daughter, who is a Pasto Boys guest mentioned, like that's a specific thing she used to do. She's like done in restaurants. And maybe maybe I've told a story before that because I used to be in the magic. I did that trick with a knife and went through and almost stabbed my eye out. Yeah, I was I was a big. I was a magic freak when I was not like Chris Angel, but I was a magic freak. Yeah, you were in a mind freak.

I was in a mind freak. Yes, thank you. When I when I when I when I was younger, I was a I was a big magic fan, which I think comedy and magic overlap a little bit. I saw Doug Henning. Is that or Doug Henning? What was his name? Doug Henning. Henning. I saw Doug Henning as a kid at a magic show, a live magic show, and they brought a little kid up on stage and like there was a point where he's like, I need to kid volunteer, raise my hand so high.

I was like six, like just like as high as I possibly could like standing on the seat and he didn't call on me. And I was like, I did not enjoy any of the rest of the show. Then that was it for magic for you. Yeah, at that point, I kind of walked away. You know, I went and saw David Copperfield show and then on the way out, you could get a thing signed by him. And he was set up on this like table and he was sitting on a chair, like on a

table and like we walked by and he just like stared at me. And then that was when I got out of bed. He just weirdly was staring at me and I and I didn't like it. By the way, I just want to address. Yeah, I couldn't think of Patriots Day or whatever or Patriot the boss. It wasn't an inappropriate joke. I was, I was going to say bad day in Boston, but I didn't know what the name of the movie was.

Yeah, you were, you weren't poking fun. You weren't going to say the movie should have been called run, run, run. Boom, boom. No, yes. I wasn't going to say anything like that. Of course you weren't thinking that I was. I wasn't trying to make a bet. I don't tragic.

It was a terrible tragedy and it was an awful tragedy and Armin should have played the bomber in the movie because a lot of people say that he looks like him. Armin does look a lot like it's our naive. Yeah, he does very, very handsome. And also a little baddie. Well, there you go. And yeah, he has no lower jaw.

I just, I just was listening to the Armin episode on the way over here to get a pumped right to, you know, the Doughboy's mindset. And then did you turn your car around? No, I can't beat Armin. Like the rest of us are all just guests. Armin is his own thing. Yeah, Armin is that's the best way to describe Armin. He's his own thing.

He's his own thing. He's one of my best friends in Los Angeles. I love the guy. He's a great dude. No, I don't really, I don't know him. I'm only, I'm only as a fan, but he's a great dude. He is, he is like what you think he is. Like there's like not like a, I don't think there's, there's at least as far as

I've seen, I've never seen like the other side of Armin really. It's just Armin is just Armin. Have you ever seen the other side, like a human under all that? No, it's kind of just who he is. Here, I mentioned this, I mentioned this on Twitter, um, but this is some of the context for the kind of man Armin is the other night with no other context. Uh, Armin texts me this verbatim eat up Bartha. There's nothing more beyond eat up Bartha, which I told him that's going to

make no sense to Nick and someone, do you know what this, do you know what he was trying to do? I wonder if you would just in Bartha. Yeah. It's a Justin Bartha reference. It was a just unfunniest, hangover guy. It was a, it was a Justin Bartha reference. Nice.

But then it was also a reference to eat up Martha, which is a Simpsons reference. Yeah. Which is beat up Martin. They're trying to make a note to beat up Martin in their newton. I remember which way they're making fun of Apple Newton. Yeah. Bad voice recognitions or handwriting. And writing recognition.

Yeah. Handwriting recognition. Armin rope eat up Bartha for some. Why did it even? I don't know. I don't know what the, what the reasoning was behind it. He's like, I'm going to text this to Wiger. And I was like, what?

I was surprised that he likes the, the non extended Lord of the Rings movies. Yeah. I, I, I get it. I mean, like from a, maybe from a pacing standpoint, but I think the, the extended fellowship and two towers for sure. Just kind of like give it the, give the story enough. Yeah. I think the extended are pretty much maybe the one example where those

with the mad trilogy where the extended is like the canon and the good version. Right. Selman. So we got to get to this chicken second, but yes, I want to quickly to say before, before we get into it, Selman, you're, you're a big comic book fan. Less so in my dotage, but yes. But you, you wrote a review of, of Watchman. I remember that was a kind of a, a famous, a pass around review.

Well, I got in trouble because I was, there was like this embargo. Oh no. And I didn't really know about or listen to the embargo. Yeah. And then like Warner Brothers publicists called and yelled at me and tried and I'd never work as a journalist again. I was like, well, I don't, I'm not a journalist. I already have a really awesome job.

Was this, it was, so this was for the recent movie for the original Alan Morecon. Yeah. The movie, the Zach. Zach Schneider. Zach Schneider. So my question to you is, yes, you didn't, you didn't love that movie, right? You, you were so, so on it.

I, I couldn't believe they made exactly the such a apish, apish, slavish. They made such a slavish version of the graphic novel to some extent. I kind of blew my mind that the thing that when you were like 13 thought was like only you and your friends knew about it was now a mainstream movie. Like almost, you know, shot for shot with some rewriting, you know, they were recreating panels. Recreated. Yeah.

Yes. So how do you think it holds up over time? And then also how do you feel about, not well, not well, and how do you, but how do you feel about, cause I, cause I, I watch it and I don't mind that movie. And my question to you is just about like modern day, just modern day comic book movies are, are, do you enjoy them? How do you feel about them? We talked about this a little bit before the episode started, but what are your

thoughts? Well, I'm a little old for this stuff. I've seen twists and takes and subversions and undercuts and parodies and meta versions of superheroes more times than I can count at this point. And, you know, I was excited to see Logan. It was fun. I like Logan claws. When it was claws got stuck, that was awesome, but not when he needed it.

And, uh, you know, it's a little weird that this is like, this is now 90% of our movie going experience, right? But, you know, I still get excited for those Marvel movies. There's, there's so much. Yeah. There's like so much of the movies that are being made. This is almost cliche to say, I guess at this point, cause it's been discussed so much, but the so much of it, it's just preexisting properties.

Like everything is an existing property. And even something like that, the, there was a recent instance, I won't say which movie cause it'll spoil it, but there's a recent instance of a movie that was a like, Oh, this is an original IP. And then the little twist is that, Oh, it's not an original IP. This is part of an expanded universe. It's like everything is about building these expanded universes and tying into these, these original IPs.

What movie is there? I know what he's talking about. Text me, whatever. Okay. I'm going to text Mitch while we're doing the podcast, what the movie was. Wait, have you seen it? I don't know if you've seen it. I think you've seen it.

Yes. I know what it, but it, but still text me. I think, I think I know what it is. Okay. Great. Um, I, so I think that Logan, I like Logan, all right. And I know some people who really did not like Logan. But I think that that is the, uh, the, the, that I just got your text, even

though you said the wrong thing, I said the wrong title. I messed it up. I sent the wrong title. Um, I, I feel like Logan is moving in the area of, if, if, if cinemas to continue, yeah, like it has to be more like, Oh, you're making a movie. You're like, they're really making something like there's a director's tape, like a strong director's right on something. Not even that the, the Logan director is really great.

I don't really know much about him actually, but I did feel like it was a strong directorial take there. Yeah. That one, that one did feel like it, but I, but I feel like that's kind of like what we'll need. Right. I mean, it, it bumps me out that like, and I'm sure that you feel this more, like 10 times over than I do, because you, you, you had this stuff longer, but like, it

just feels like that sort of thing of like they're taking the things that you like and then they're, then they're these, now they're these new things. You don't mean these things that every, they, that everyone eats up every summer and, and it kind of is depressing in a lot of ways to me. Right. I mean, I feel like there's other stuff I worry about more these days. Yeah. But it is kind of shocking that like the main streamification of like that you

see a douchey jock guy with a super inside green lantern shirt at the gym. We were just bought it because it was a target and he just thinks this is what guys like me wear now. Not, I love, I don't love green lantern so much either, but like not that this guy has any affection for green lantern. Yeah. It's just been, it is insane. Yeah.

Leave the green lantern shirts to Sheldon. To Sheldon. The real nerd. The real nerd like Sheldon. A real nerd like Sheldon. Um, Sheldon. And Sheldon Junior, the new, the CBS prequel. Right.

There's going to be a little Sheldon. Well, after the success of Ace Ventura Junior, of course, I feel like Sheldon Junior is a sure thing. There was also a James Bond Junior cartoon and Big Bang, Big Bang babies is basically what we did that in that. Well, I did a Simpsons episode a long time ago called called something, the one they know where a meltdown type comic book store opened. Right.

And we did all these Watchman jokes, which at the time I'm like, oh my god, this is so inside. Is this the one that you had the Watchman babies? The Watchman babies. We had Watchman babies that we had Alan Moore and we had Art Spiegelman and Dan Klaus and I was, you know, I was very self-satisfied at the time that like we were able to take these guys from the fringes and put them in this, you know, middle, middle, everything show.

Right. And give them that exposure. What an era. What is that? That was like, that was around 2007 also. Things really changed in the last 10 years. So here's my question because so we've kind of gotten that the nerd culture is just mainstream culture now that that's just like, you know, the biggest movies

are Star Wars and comic book movies. And I mean, Star Wars was already the biggest movie, but it's like, that's like a nerd culture thing that is just like, you know, it's just pop culture and, and, you know, comic book movies, superhero movies, obviously, things like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings in recent years, it's all like kind of that's like just big mainstream entertainment. So like what becomes Game of Thrones if we want to talk about something that would previously be relegated to like a very niche high fantasy fan base.

So what is like the new nerd culture thing that they're going to graft onto other than like online Nazism? Like what is like the, what it like, like, like other than the alt right, what are the the nerds going to be? Like this is our thing that's going to be a little thing carved out for them. Your little farming game that you like so much. Stardew Valley. Yeah, Stardew Valley is fun.

I guess there are there are some things in gaming culture that are still kind of like, yeah, you're kind of leading the way for nerds all over the world. Some sort of sort of Johnny Appleseed from a nerd for a nerd. Yeah, definitely. I don't know. I think I don't think I'm quite, I don't quite identify as much as a nerd. And partly that's because of what nerd culture is now. There's so much like excitement behind it.

Yeah, what is what is that? Yeah, that's that's that's hard. I don't know if that that niche culture, it doesn't exist anymore. I don't know. It's like, are they going to get super hardcore into something like detectives, you know, or cowboys? I seriously, I could like, I could see like, oh, we were just like super into westerns now. That's what we're nerdy about stuff like cosplay and stuff is

maybe still like right considered nerdy or something. Well, the world, the world, the word nerd. Yeah, it's sort of lost its meaning. And I mean, really, when there's always going to be people that are socially awkward and don't fit in, you know, and are picked on for whatever reason. And but it's not because they like Star Wars anymore. Right. They're called the dough boys. I don't want us getting a Star Wars rant with you guys, but.

I was watching the new one. Oh, Force Awakens or the Rogue One? Rogue One is fine film. But like, I'm just like, so wait, how many billions of dollars have been generated just by just the main, the essence of all these things is sneaking into space stations. Yeah, like that's the core that unites this 10 billion dollar cinematic universe of merchandise and whatnot.

It's like, I'll put on the costume and sneak into the bad guy and with the helmet half on and half off and tiptoe around, dink, dink, dink. And like maybe we'll run into our pals. That's that's the main part of it. They've used that at least four times, I feel like, in move in the Star Wars movies, right? The device of disguising yourself as the bad guy. Or that I can think of specifically. You think they would talk about it?

Force Awakens, they sneak out with they dress up and sneak out of the star base. Yeah, you're right. Sneaking around, sneaking around the star bases. Yes, you're that's a good that is a very, very good. I'm sure someone else has observed it. Sneaking, sneaking is a big part. Sneaking, sneaking is a big part of the Star Wars. Huge part.

Mythos, is that correct? Yeah, people think about the space battles, but really there's a lot of stealth missions. But I do think the part of the weird DNA hookup of why everyone, all the everyone age, my age, 45 and whatever, older, hooked into that in the original generation of fans, the first generation of which I guess I'm one, was just the fun of sneaking in, right? The fun and, you know, and they're like, he has the helmet on and they're kind of like not doing a great job with it's it's farce.

You know, that's yes, people think it's force. You put the United Star Wars. It's it's it's literally farce. It's door slamming farce that they're walking around and like getting barely missed by other people and wearing costumes and misunderstandings. And like saying the wrong thing into a communicator and like right. Oh, screw it, Zapp, and like it's farce. You're right.

You're right. That's the magic of this goofball universe. A lot of the Han Solo that like some of his he's has like the bat, the radio banter with the you know what he's trying to impersonate. This is a really good point that I haven't really heard too much about before. Hit us up with your favorite sneaky moment. Hashtag sneaky pee. We'll take a quick break or we'll be right back with more Doughboys.

Welcome back to Doughboys. We're here with Matt Selman, Tournament of Champions, Chicken Fight. Let's talk food. Wingstop versus Wendy's. Selman, did you have any fights? I think we should have a sound effect. Like a like when you say the tournament name. Can you just want to do that?

Sure, do it again. Okay, right. Tournament of Champions, Chicken Fight. Okay. Wingstop versus Wendy's. Selman, what are your thoughts? Well, I drove over here. Well, first of all, do you also like the added sound effect?

Oh, yeah, I really like that. It's an effect that you're great. I'm an animation guy. So do you have like I'm all about ADR. If there's like a chicken roll on the Simpsons. Can you get Mitch in at least to read for it? Definitely. Like how George Clooney was a dog famously or no, wait, I think he was a turkey.

A turkey. No, no, he was a dog. Was he a dog? I forget what he was, a dog or a turkey? Yeah, on Proto South Park. Yeah, we do we have any fried chicken restaurants on the Simpsons? Well, at the Universal Studios, you do. You know, yes, of course.

I mean, that's we should we should go there sometime and do a remote. Do boys at Cletus's fried chicken, which is really good. OK, I'm digressing, but the Cletus is fried chicken. OK, in 2007, Warburton, Matt Warburton, some other writers and I got the honor, the best, funnest job of helping transform back to the future of the ride into the Simpsons ride. Right. I actually worked at the Simpsons at this time.

And I'm not going to get into all the details of that. Part of it, though, is that they there was a. The food court, the outdoor food court there was kind of rando, universal properties like Flintstones, ribs and kind of crazy stuff. And Doc, Doc Brown, exactly. Doc Brown's fried chicken, because everyone knows that Doc Brown in the back of the future love fried chicken. It's all over all three movies and the cartoons and the comic books.

And Doc Brown, if he doesn't care about food, he probably forgets to eat. You never see him eating. He thinks wine and back in future three. But I don't think you see him eat. He doesn't care. He's cared about science and inventing and, you know, and like changing the future and stuff, not eating anyway. Anyway, there was this Doc Brown's fried chicken.

It was hugely popular so that when we rebranded all that universal random back lot into Simpsons land, Springfield land and the Krusty land, which is great, which is great. It's awesome, actually. The they kept the Doc Brown's fried chicken and we renamed it Cletus's chicken shack, which was the first idea we had. And we just went with that. And it's really that's talking about another fried chicken.

That is awesome fried chicken. And we never actually had. I've only had the Krusty burger, which is quite good. And that was really good fried chicken. The breast is particularly good. Yeah. And I'm going to say Doc Brown's fried chicken. I think it's it's similar.

It's the same one. Yes, there was so much love for the recipe. They kept the rest of the rest. It was always it's always been good. It's always been very, very good. I don't know what the pitch is other than Cletus's fried. I think that's pretty good. There was really.

It makes tell what else are you going to do? I mean, what else are we going to do? I will. I did look it up on the Simpsons wiki. I searched for fried chicken. There was a Krusty fried chicken in the episode when the Simpsons visit Beijing so Selma can adopt a kid. Right. Gugu by Guy Pan by Dana Gould.

And then there's also got the show Band in China for six years. Wait, really? Yes. Did it have ghost in it or something? No, it's a skittage about ghosts and skeletons. No, it implied, you know, that not everything was perfect in the Chinese government. And then there's also Kentucky Fried Panda. I wrote that episode. I remember that.

Lisa, the tree hugger. OK, so there's a. Yeah, there's a little bit of that in the Simpsons lore. But I think if it was just Krusty fried chicken, it might be a little bit of a deep cut for the audience. It's a great fried chicken. Maybe it has to get in the tournament next year. It's it's great.

Well, KFC is hugely popular in China. Yeah, it's really big. Don't they? And like, I believe it's China, where if you they all go there on Christmas and you have to make reservations months in advance to go to KFC. That's crazy. Japan, I'm sorry, world, but I think it's China. But that's why we put that in that episode, because because KFC is so huge there.

Yeah, I think there's because I think they're in worldwide terms. I think, you know, McDonald's and Subway are the biggest chains. But Subway still. Yeah, Subway is very big. But KFC has had a ton of success in Asia. And I read part of the reason they're so successful in China, aside from just, you know, like there's a lot of people who love chicken there. And the American fried chicken is like this big, fatty, juicy meat.

But part of it is that they they're they're very good with the coupon system. And I guess coupons are very big in China. And so like KFC like very savilly said, like, OK, we're going to have a lot of coupons. And so and they they're just very, very good at at marketing in that particular micro targeted way. Well, Simpson's land is great. I think that's the least interesting thing I've ever said on a podcast. I thought it was interesting.

Selma and I both fell asleep sitting up. We were both asleep of all the boring shit of information. I didn't even know where to go with it. So I just went back to. I thought it was interesting. I mean, we'd other little tidbit here, if anyone cares, is that. So part of the fun of creating the Simpsons Springfield Outdoor Food Court at Universal and Hollywood and Florida

was we got to name sort of funny names for the foods, right? Which is like, what a joy for someone who loves chain restaurants and goofy fast food to be able to be part of that. And but of course, you know, it's very corporate and a lot of our stuff got rejected. But the one one of the biggest fights we did win was to rename the chicken fingers that Kledis is the chicken thumbs. Because like their argument was, you know,

what if people think they're really thumbs? Right. They were like, well, they don't think they're really fingers. Yeah, exactly. That's great. I think that's a punch up. And you guys, you guys won that, right? Yeah, we won. I mean, it's pretty clean. You know, a lot of them was rejected. Oh, man. Well, we we wanted to do.

I want to do a three foot long hot dog that they would sell. But I guess it was the production and possibilities of casing tube that long. And that's a lot of fun. I just thought, who wouldn't buy literally a three foot long hot dog? I mean, I know it's crazy, but like it'd be such a goofy maniac food. Well, I think the giant donuts, which are delicious, those giant donuts, I think prove that would buy it.

The people line up for those giant donuts, which are really great. Well, we're definitely going to go there and review the Simpsons land, I think, at some point. Yeah, I think Warburton. That's the war. That's what we should get Warburton for, because he like is the. Yes, he like was the author of that ride. And he loves Universal.

He worked on Mindy show. He would just go up there and eat their lunch every day and ride the ride. And we'll get a minute for that for sure. Warburton, I will look forward to hearing Warburton, I think, also was did so much on that ride. I remember I won't ride when you get when you're when Maggie puts you in your mouth, didn't you just smell like sour milk at one point? Maybe I think it smelled like now it's baby powder.

It's baby powder, but it was supposed it was water spray. I wanted to be to squirt you with mineral oil, so it was like more like saliva, right? I didn't really think that that was going to fly. I the the the the I think I think maybe even when it opened, it was like sour, like kind of like a milky smell. Interesting. And you guys, the writing process, were you like, we want to kind of smell like the assistant who gets us lunch?

What the fuck? I remember eating at Doc Brown's Fried Chicken before they switched it and then riding the ride, but I can early, like not finished, incomplete, like wires everywhere version that was in no way calibrated. And oh, wow. Coming so close to throwing up in five seconds, like instantly, like headed between these eyes closed. Because, like, those rides aren't right.

They don't take the edges off. Yeah, you will vomit. Yeah, let's talk about chicken. All right, Wingstop Wendy's Doc Brown's Fried Chicken and Cleetus's Chicken Shack aside. What are your thoughts on these specific changes? Did you have any biases going in, Selman? Well, I know there's a lot of love for Wendy's in the world.

Right. I don't have a huge Wendy's personal back story, but no, this is not negative about Wendy's. I feel like, you know, I've eaten a ton of KFC and a ton of McDonald's and stuff in my life, but I never ate as much Wendy's growing up. And Wingstop is a new chain. Well, I have eaten that, but it's it's new. But, um, so I just, you know, I'm a little feel like I was able

to come in objective on both of them without a lot of emotional bias. You are a big wing fan. I am a big wing fan. I love scares me as a big Wendy's fan. So I'm also a huge Wendy's fan and I'm a wings fan. I like both of these chains. I definitely have a have a Wendy's bias, just as someone who has some who's eating a lot of great meals from there.

But I will also say that I didn't need a lot of Wendy's growing up. Wendy's was a thing I came around to an adulthood. Wendy's was one of those places that my parents, for whatever reason, didn't like going to Wendy's. It might have just been that it was on the other side of town and they didn't want to drive there. But I never went there as a kid with my parents. I only went there on occasion with friends and then as an adult,

I sort of built up a brand loyalty to it. But Mitch, you were always a Wendy's loyalist. I was a Wendy's kid. I've always been a Wendy's loyalist. Yeah. I mean, I shouldn't have been. I should have been eating carrots and vegetables. But I I went to Wendy's quite a bit when I was younger. Look, the whole point of this podcast is let's just roam is burning.

So who cares? Right. I mean. That is I feel like that is a feeling that almost everyone has lately. Yeah, the world is going to end. I think if you approach this this podcast with kind of like a nihilist standpoint of like nothing matters and we're all headed towards a fiery death, then there is like something of just like, oh, we can spend so much time talking about something so trivial or listening to two idiots

and a guest talk about something so trivial. What would be the point of wasting our remaining years worrying over unchangeable nightmares that are now seem to be intrinsic into present and future. So might as well have fun now. I mean, it's it's as the song winner takes it all. No, no, that's not that song. As the song says.

The song from Karate Kid, you're the best around. You're the best around history repeats itself. Try and you'll succeed. That's the lyric in that song. Right, yes, tomorrow night, Simpsons, which you will not hear because it will have already aired when this airs. We Homer sings that song in perhaps a ninety-fifth comedy appropriation of it. But it was it was pretty funny Dan singing that song.

Sorry, chicken, wing stop, wing stop. I got so here I'm going to get my rundown of what I got at wing stop. And then you guys can talk about what you got. And then I think there's going to be a little bit of overlap. In fact, I'm fairly certain there's a little bit of overlap. Oh, yes. But I got the mango habanero boneless garlic parmesan bone in Brazilian citrus pepper, which is a new flavor. They have maybe a limited run bone in.

I got a little blue cheese dip in sauce and I got some baked beans and a iced tea on the side. But you know, side stay on the sidelines drinks are not in the sink in the stink or in the Gatorade jug on the sidelines. Yes, drinks are in Blake Griffin's personal cooler that only Ike was allowed to drink from. And what was your what was your guys run down to sauces and seasonings? Well, someone got mad because we tried to get that Brazilian one and we could not. They didn't have it.

It wasn't a I got it from Dordache and I couldn't. I could not order it. So that sucks. Instead, we went with the Hawaiian flavored wings. We got original hot. We got Cajun. We got Louisiana rub. That's three. Let's see if I can do all this from memory.

Hawaiian is for right. Yeah, you also got a mango habanero. Mango habanero is five and then lemon pepper is six. Got him. That's all six. Well done. We got ranch and blue cheese dressings. No sides. I got myself a Diet Coke. Yes, I got myself a Diet Coke because I'm sick and hung over from St. Patrick's Day, so I needed a drink and that's it.

We and then Selman. I watched British Baking Challenge and went to bed last night, which was a better choice and probably a better night. How is that? Is that the one? Everyone's crazy about British Baking Challenge? Or is that an option? Yeah, no, it's very good nature, gentle, non-historianic cooking competition.

I haven't watched it. I got to check it out. It's very relaxing. So we should we should we talk about that? Or should we say what we got from Wendy's? Yeah, let's go. Let's do it. Let's talk to it. Well, yeah, let's put it. Let's put it all out there and then we can talk about it. Wendy's. OK, so.

Commissioner, the tournament of champions, Evan Susser, because of Mitch Gate, which is the scandal involving the purported bias now called in flight gate. Now it now called in flight gate via Selman purported bias because the cup they are competing for is the Dave Thomas Cup. That is the trophy for the tournament and that that would somehow the fact that that exists is indicate some sort of corruption. I guess that's the implication on our part.

So as a result, Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich has been banned from this week's competition, the most fucked up thing that Susser has ever done. It's a pretty cruel penalty because I got the homestyle chicken sandwich instead, which is basically the exact same sandwich, but without the spicy patty or breaded chicken breast, whatever you want to call it. And I also got a large chili, but though again, side stay on the sidelines.

And what was your guys, Wendy's order? I got the exact same sandwich and I I thought about ordering every chicken thing. That yeah, I'm kind of a completist, right? Like we went to Bdubs. I wanted to eat everything on the menu, which was going to would have been hard. We did eat about 20 different kinds of wings. Yes. And then we had about six kinds of wingstop wings.

So I just but what I did, I got the one sandwich. Then I'm like grilled chicken is pointless. This is a fried chicken competition, right? And the wraps, wraps stay on the something. And wraps are and wraps are a piece of crap. And wraps are wraps are wraps are or wraps are stay on the legs. As your trainer would tell you, they they're not even that rap is you think you're eating healthy with a wrap, but you're really not.

It's it's still a big carb, right? I think better tea is not much better than a giant flour, flour, dense, flour, wrap is not. It's a different kind of bun. Yeah. You know, it's actually really super high carb is a pita bread. Anyway, let's get that's sad to hear. I know.

So sad. We did get the nuggets, though. We got the I don't think I'd ever had Wendy's nuggets in my life. We I have had them and I like Wendy's nuggets. Someone got some. I was basically eating it during our dope recording of our double. I didn't even dip any of them in sauce, but I kind of liked eating them plain because I got all four sauces.

I they're very they did not charge me extra for. So Wendy's nuggets are good. Wendy's nuggets are they're different. Obviously, they're not as good as McDonald's nuggets. I don't think. But they're they're very good. They're different than I feel like a lot of other nuggets. They they feel kind of like more what's the word I'm looking for?

They feel like they feel like they're like more like there's a little bit more like maybe the chickens and those horrible agribusiness concentration camps briefly saw the sky. Yes, there's there's there's something like that. There's a feeling that like they feel like more homemade or you know, there's it feels like a little touch of mom's cooking or something like that. But that's the one magic in general. Yes, like everything's just it's all it's all quick service, fast food,

but it's all like just feels like it has a touch. The Dave Thomas touch. Yes, it would be easy. It's funny. We don't want any more penalties here. Roger Goodell, Saucer. We'll have to trade up next season with my like play. Yeah, he is as bad as Roger Goodell, I guess.

Well, thematically, that's good for the show. I got I could be commenting on the fact that he always says Popeyes. Oh, yes. Yeah, Mitch does say Popeyes. Well, that's like a that's like an affectation of yours that you say that you say soft does as was lovable Mitch in his mispronunciation. Popeye, hot dog, popcorn, my mom, my mom. Is that a Boston thing or is that just a you think it might be?

I think I think it's maybe a New England thing. OK, yeah, maybe like the weirdo Popeye in Brady, New England people say he actually had a dog named Popeye. He might have had a Papa have a dog. Papa like I had a papa and Nana and a papa. Did Popeye have a dog named Popeye? Did Popeye have a dog named Popeye? Is that what you're asking?

That's what I'm asking. That sounds like he would. He probably would say yes. I feel like she is the clearest chicken shack level of originality that went into naming Popeye's characters. Right. The right is just wanted to go home. The Popeyes universe I could I could care less about the except I like the guy who eats the hamburgers Wimpy Wimpy.

Oh, Wimpy is great. Wimpy is a good character. Well, like the most realistic cartoon character. They've not incorporated Wimpy at all into the marketing of Popeyes chicken. That's for sure. Well, they don't own the Popeyes chicken does not own the rights to the Popeyes character at all. It was they just sort of took the name and then just claimed

it was but at some point there was Popeye on Popeyes chicken. Yeah, they had a Popeye they had Popeye for there for a little bit, but they didn't really incorporate a hamburger fan Wimpy at all. They should have. He was sort of like a skin flint character. Yeah, I was always looking to I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. And yeah, another one of his catchphrases was

why you come over for a duck dinner. You bring the ducks deep cartoon. Is that true? Is that really what he used to say? He's like folks that are still used today. So he was he had like a Homer Simpson type appetite. Wimpy, all he cared about was eating hamburgers. Yeah, he wanted to eat a lot and then he didn't want to pay.

Did not want to pay. I'm sure he was like a commentary, probably on some old like politician. Like he probably was like an Adley Stevenson analog or something like that. Jewish people or oh, yeah, that's probably actually what it was. It was some sort of commentary on some maligned Wimpy's a Jewish man. I don't think so. It might have been another Jewish stereotype and Popeye was also not so great. But you know what?

We're not talking about Popeyes, which which Susser pushed into the next round of the competition. Or I guess you did. I don't want we all. It's all our fault. When I got the Asiago Ranch chicken club, I got the homestyle chicken because I couldn't get spicy and I had some of those nuggets as well. Should we talk about?

Should we talk about the meat? What we thought of the meals? Yeah, let's go down. Let's go down the look. We'll we'll start. We'll go down the line with Wingstop. I'll talk through mine and what were you guys over overlap? You can feel free to chime in mango abonero, legitimately spicy. That's a plus for me, a little sweet, not too sweet.

I think they're like it's like that nice sort of I know it's not going for an Asian flavor, but it kind of ended up kind of having like kind of an Asian Polynesian sort of zing to it, but with a decent amount of heat. And it's the second hottest next to the atomic. And I've heard the atomic, which I've never had because I'm a little bit of a heat seeker, but I don't go crazy. I heard the atomic can be really, really a blazing on the tongue. So I opted not to have it.

But the mango abonero is a good, like, like high spice level for me. And I really enjoyed that. And I think the boneless wings have a good texture to them. They're nice and crisp and they're they're not soggy at all, which can sometimes happen with those boneless, those heavily sauce boneless wings. What'd you guys think of that mango abonero? I thought it was good. You know, I kind of put the mango habonero and the Hawaiian into

kind of the same category. Sure. They're you're right. I mean, the Hawaiian is even more Polynesian tasting than than the mango habonero, but I don't love those kind of like sweet wings as much as I love. Right. Other other types of wings, mango habonero. I didn't have too much problem with the heat.

Did you sell them? And I thought the heat was just all right. No. Yeah, I was kind of nervous about eating them. I thought they were going to be I thought they were going to be tough. It's not super spicy, but it is like you can you can feel it. Well, the mango habonero because there's a mango habonero at Buffalo Wild Wings and that they are super spicy.

That one's quite a bit more quite a bit spicy. I was impressed. They were able to even say mango habonero at a rival. Yeah. That like they wouldn't have. That wasn't one of their signature flavors, like Magno mango habs. Right. They must have trademarked it.

Yeah. Maybe you can't try and mark a spice fruit combo. But right. I mean, I guess I brought my own biases to it, which is I don't I don't like boneless wings, so I do not order any. And I don't love sweet sticky wings like teriyaki's and those. So that's not the wings fault for me not liking that. That's true.

I agree with that. I thought, overall, the wings were good. But Nick, you have more flavors. I got the garlic, the garlic parmesan. I get that as a bone in garlic parmesan. I thought like it's it's well good, like very generously coated with that parmesan, really flavorful. And I really liked like the I really generally like ones that have

a little bit of spice and a little bit of heat to them. But as far as the non spicy wing variants, I think that garlic parmesan is up there with the lemon pepper wing, which is my favorite from Wingstop, but which I self disqualified. I decided not to get in solidarity with the Wendy's. Whoa, that's integrity. I decided not to get my favorite from Wingstop, since I was not getting my favorite Wendy's.

But the garlic parmesan is really good if you're just looking for a little bit of a change of pace. And also, too, if you're having something a little spicy, that was the dairy on that wing can help cool down at the end of your meal. And then the Brazilian citrus pepper, which is like a medium spicy level. And it's one of their new ones. Man, I thought this was a home run. Nelly and I really enjoyed it.

Nelly, in fact, says it's her favorite Wingstop wing period. She likes it better than than any other Wingstop wing she's had. And I mean, like it's it's hard to argue with that. I don't know if I'd go 100 percent with her on that one, but it's hard to argue against it because it's it's very, very flavorful. Blue cheese dip and sauce. I just wish they gave you an extra dip and sauce cup of Wingstop. I feel like they're a little stingy with that.

Yeah. But but, you know, overall, a very successful haul, as far as I'm concerned, your guys's wings. We so we did the lemon pepper. Nick, I got to disagree with you. I thought the lemon inch, the lemon is just too lemony tasting and it kind of tastes almost like a fake lemon. Well, you're disagreeing with me and Rick Ross. I know. I'm sorry, Rick.

What I I not the boss of my taste buds. So I I I didn't I don't love the lemon pepper wings. I don't like lemon and chicken. When I was young, I was sick and my mom made lemon chicken and I got and I threw up. Oh, boy. And I've never liked the combo of lemon and chicken. I love lime. Don't like lemon lemon lemon and chicken.

They don't go together great with me. I thought it was just all right. I love the Cajun. I'm sorry. I love the Louisiana rub is maybe my favorite of all the wingstop flavors. And then I also like the Cajun and the original hot is is good. It's great. I think I maybe like the Cajun more than the original hot.

Yeah. And then does that cover cover at all? I feel like the original hot is a little underwhelming. Like it's just kind of like a very generic and like I feel like their original hot should be should stand out a little bit. It should have a little bit of a uniqueness to it. Instead, it's just sort of like this feels like any Frank's Red Hot that you would get at any pizza place that also serves way.

Yes, I will say one thing. This is a minor, minor bullet point, but they have both Cajun and Louisiana rub that's confusing. Like rename one of them or both. We order both. Rename one of them. I don't know which was which. That's exactly people get disoriented.

I don't know which was which. I've had them both. Well, the rub is the rub. British people get disorientated. The Cajun was with the red wings with the black dots on it. OK, the dots. Yeah, the dot ones, which I liked. They were one of my favorite sauces.

Bring back old old memories. But remember what a great job Bdubs did? Labeling the wings when we ate. They do do a good job of labeling. Wingstop does not do as good a job as labeling. That's for sure. There's no there's honestly no labeling. You're left to figure it out.

So out for yourself. You're you're like, I'm disorientated. I don't know which of these wings are on this aluminium foil. Was that your British impression? Good, whatever. I wasn't trying too hard. He wasn't trying too hard. That's true.

Can I can I be on the show if you guys do a next time you do a UK Simpsons? Definitely. I great. Groggy. People are always pitching like podcast festival episodes, but they keep not happening. Oh, but it could happen.

Well, I mean, the dough boys. It's complicated. I don't want Nick to be. I've been on the Simpsons. I don't want Nick to ever be on it if that's possible. Someone we make that happen. I do a bad job. No, no, you'd be good.

I think the the thing about podcasts is I often wonder how relevant they actually are because I think like people who do them and around them and listen to them like are like, oh, podcasts are like a part of your life. But I think there are a lot of people who are like, what's a podcast? And I feel like it's almost like it's just it's almost people know what the radio is.

But I feel like what percentage of the country think has no idea what a podcast is 70% I think they'll know eventually as weirdo, narrow casting takes over the world. But like, yeah, sure, people aren't going to listen to the radio anymore. They're just going to listen to like whatever, Bill O'Reilly's daily rant that just once it once they once it becomes so easy and not. Right. It probably has already happened.

I feel like people in entertainment unless they're asking Rupert Murdoch himself know what a and even he knows what a podcast is. I'm sure. No, but I'm not talking about people in entertainment. I'm talking about like people in general. Yeah, I'm talking like the general public. I feel like I think we like it's like the kind of thing of like the percentage of people that are active Twitter users is like two to five

percent of the population. It's very small. But if you're on Twitter, it feels like, oh, this is the whole world. This is representative of what people's opinions are. You know, I don't know. I feel like podcasting is like similarly irrelevant to a lot of people. Makes us feel like what we're doing is pretty. That's 1800 people are paying $5 a month.

There you go. Take it the same. So, Selman, what were your thoughts on the wingstop wings? Well, they were their professional wings. Right. I love all the dry rubs are my favorite west wet, less, less good. But they were they're a nice crisp to them in a professionally. Fried, there wasn't a lot of extra fat or goo or that dreaded coating

that kind of peels off. That's true. So, you know, overall, I thought they were they were very solid takeout wings. Yeah, they're very meaty wings there, I feel they were meaty. But sometimes they're so meaty that like they become like organi. Sure. So a small wing is often better, I think. I mean, I'm sure they were they're frozen.

I'm sure they're. I love wingstop for the crisp. I think that they have a good crisp. I mean, delivery is never quite as crisp as in store. Yes, that's true. How would you fix that? Yeah. But it's also to like it's such a takeout oriented place that I think

that's fair to include in your evaluation, because if you go to a wingstop, they all usually all the ones I've been to have at least a few tables inside, but it's kind of like eating at a dominoes. Like people get that get wingstop to go. You know what I mean? So for eating at a dominoes, that is sad. I've done that before. Oh, that's of course you have.

Well, guys, I ordered a pizza for there and ate it by myself. When was this? Was this within the last two years? No, this was this was like 15 years ago. OK, well, here's the here's a little idea for the podcast. You know, I went to BWB last time. I bought a little bit of stock. Right. Now, I could buy a wingstop here.

There's an affordable investment. Great returns. Buy an actual wingstop. Yeah, it says here, you know, I can I can break it down for you if you want. But cut to the chase. There seems to range between three hundred and nine hundred and twenty two thousand dollars does not including real estate lease costs. Oh, I got to get started.

I clicked on get started. That's a I mean, that's a pretty substantial up. No, no, that's a lot of money. Yeah, some of our podcasts may lead to you ruining your life. Yeah, I think also, too, it may just be a conflict of interest. You owning Buffalo Wild Wing stock and owning a wingstop franchise. That's a good point. Like they do you have some good questions here?

Mm hmm. How would you prefer we conduct you? Available cash? Have you ever owned a business? No. First area of interest, wings. That would be right. Second area of interest.

Could you name it like Selman's wingstop? Do they don't think so? No, no, no, no. You plan to be the day to day operator? Well, of course. Do you have multi-unit restaurant management development experience? How did you find us? You plan to partner?

All right, well, we'll submit this later. OK. I mean, it could be good. It's it's it's the the wings of quality. Yeah, look, I'm nervous because let me talk about the Wendy's. I had that Asiago Chicken Ranch Club. I think I would open a wingstop before I open a Wendy's. Wow.

Just because it was it's a fresher thing, you know, I think I agree with you. Even though I like Wendy's more as a restaurant, I think managing a wingstop would be more interesting because it's kind of like the I like the idea of the specificity. I like how targeted it is. I'd probably try to be like the cool manager. No one would respect me and like steal a lot. Mitch, your Wendy's.

The Asiago Chicken, I know you stole a little bit this time, Mitch, but just come on, man. Mitch is working there. Why would you hire him? He's working there. I'd also be stealing wings. I also I know he's good at food service. I was great.

I was great at delivering food. The Salmon Stack, as it's known, that stack is an abomination, that stack. Salmon is a foodie. He he would get a lot of different things to try in one time. His stack hit the cabinets upon from the from the counter. It hit the cabinets above the counter. Just a just as a lunch order, a single lunch order. I've eaten so much.

I've eaten so much food now that take out food over the years that I try in the new diet called the Cobb Salad Diet. I was like, just get a Cobb Salad for every meal and don't put the creamy dressing on it, like put a light dressing on it. And like, well, it's not so bad for you. Like chicken, right? That's not bad. Yeah, or a little bit of bacon, a little bit of cheese.

But then you're in, you know, some lettuce. That's pretty good. And then they put like a light dressing on it. Things have changed since I've been there. Definitely. Uh, but okay, back to Wendy's. So the Asiago Chicken Ranch Club Homestyle is good. It's not as good as the spicy chicken sandwich, right?

But they do a good job with it. The chicken patty at Wendy's is good. It's a good, they do a good, it's just, it's just a well done chicken patty. Like, you know, we were, we were raving about the Chick-fil-A patty on the last episode. Yeah. I, I, I love the, and you know, I love the taste of the spicy chicken patty.

I can't talk about it or whatever this bullshit is. But I, that, that, that Asiago Ranch chicken patty, it's, it's great. It's, it's a, it's a good, good sandwich. It's a really, really good sandwich. You should bleep out just the word spicy. When anyone ever says spicy chicken, as if chickens. So the audience won't get, think they're a bias, continued bias. It's, it's bullshit that we can't talk about that sandwich.

Yeah. Well, maybe we can't talk about it. We just couldn't have, we just shouldn't have gotten it. We didn't need it. No one, no one ate it. No one ate it. No one ate it. I had the nuggets.

I thought about eating it just for context, but not talking about it. But I didn't want to die. Natalie said I should just get it. She thought I should just openly defy Susser and just get the spicy chicken sandwich. I like that. Yeah. I like that attitude. We can all go, we can all go to Wendy's right now and do it and come back.

Well, we don't have, we never have to listen to Susser. Right. I don't know why we do. But anyways, I really enjoyed it. I think the sandwich is really good. I think that the home style chicken sandwich here is good. And I think the nuggets are good. I think their strongest is the sandwich that can't be named.

But I think all the other ones are quality contenders. The issue here for me is that the wingstop wings are very good. So and it's going, it's basically going against its B team right now. Wendy's B team. So, right. I would say about the home style chicken sandwich, which is what I got is that it's crazy what a difference that patty makes. Like just because the only, the only tangible difference between the home

style chicken sandwich and the spicy chicken sandwich is the spicy patty versus the regularly seasoned patty. Right. It's the same crispy chicken, but the spicy patty seems a little bit thinner. Yeah, it is a little thinner. Yeah. The home style seems a little bit like thicker, juicier, which I don't know if it's a good thing or not actually.

Well, I do feel like I kind of like, I like the texture of the spicy one even more, even though it is a little thinner. You know, I almost feel like it just like, it just comes together as a sandwich a little better proportionally. It's like the right amount of chicken for that amount of bun, lettuce, tomato and mayo. It really works. Yes.

And the home style chicken sandwich is just a little, I would never say dry. It didn't quite, it doesn't quite get dry, but it's just almost like a little, it overwhelms the composition of the other elements a little bit. And yeah, there's just not as much flavor to it. Like the, the, the mayo, I feel like is like a nice counterpoint to the zing on the spicy, but with a home style chicken one, it just kind of feels kind of, it just kind of feels kind of just like kind of creamy and gooey. It doesn't, doesn't have the same sort of a flavor counterpoint that it

does on the other one. I feel like I have to agree. Go for it. With Nick about the, what was it called, the classic chicken sandwich? The home style chicken sandwich. Home style chicken. I mean, to me, and I ate it almost immediately after receiving it was, it was, it was pretty flabby, kind of soggy.

The mayo gave it, I hate to say this, Wendy's almost a chicken salad mouth experience. Yeah. No, I like chicken salad, but I not, when I'm like, when I, when I see the word crispy, Mitch just put his head in his hands, you know, I see the word crispy on a menu and I see how like good it looks in the picture. And it just was kind of, it was just kind of blah and this is, we're, we're judging fried chicken here.

It's not sir, I'm going to. Granted, it had bread. I mean, it was breading, but was it really, was yours crispy? Cause you and I like the exact same time. Here's the deal. Wasn't crispy. My Asiago ranch chicken club. So you'd more flavor and ranch dressing.

My, that sandwich, I enjoyed that as a whole more than I did the wings. Okay. Yeah. I'm voting for Wendy's. That's fair. Oh, what, who, who you two are voting for. We'll find out in a minute, but I, I, my vote isn't for Wendy's. This is really frustrating for me because I get criticisms of this other

sandwich. I think that this sandwich is more likely to have an upper that can, can be up or down. You know what I mean? The homestyle, every time we've gotten an Asiago sandwich, chicken sandwich from there, the quality of it can, can go back and forth. Yeah. The spicy chicken sandwich almost always is great.

The Asiago with the chit, the spicy chicken patty though is great. Like you mentioned earlier. Yeah. Let me ask you this because I'll say how I feel. And then I want to, I want your thoughts. I feel like the spicy chicken sandwich, when I go to Wendy's, I crave over the burger enough where I'm like, Oh, that's what I want sometimes. And I feel like the homestyle chicken sandwich, that homestyle patty, to me,

I, if I went to Wendy's and that was the only option, the spicy chicken, they just took off the menu. I feel like I would almost always get a burger. I feel like I would be like, just like the, I don't see a reason to choose this over the burger. And how do you feel on that? I maybe would agree with you, except occasionally I would get the Asiago ranch. Yeah.

It's, it's just, I mean, like I'm rooting for Wendy's. I love Wendy's. I Wendy's is the platinum. The nuggets are great. Five forks. The, they do have good nuggets. I had, I had one of Selman's nuggets. It was, it was quite good.

I've had it before. Asiago is such a great, like 10 years ago, trendy food, flavor, ingredients. Like what is it? Is it kind of, is it kind of cheese? It's like a Parmesan-ish. Cheese, yeah. It's like a kind of sharp cheese. Yeah.

It's like a hard cheese. They had, you know what? They had some bacon ranch fries for a while and they just recently took them off the menu. They're a limited promotional thing, but they had Asiago on them. Asiago. And when I ordered, when you'd order them, they'd be like, oh, just so you know, like, you know, some people don't like these because people complain because

it's not like a, like a nacho cheese or a cheddar cheese on it. It's like a hard cheese, but those bacon ranch fries are really, really good. God damn it, Weigar. Let's, I can't deal with this anymore. You have a death grip on your wingstop cup. This wingstop, which is annoying, by the way, let's point something out that says get at it and it talks about Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and all that shit. And also the bag that I brought the wingstop wings in had a Lakers logo on it,

which is more points deducted for a wingstop. That's true. Yeah, they're the official wings of the Lakers. They get some signage and score. The official wings of the Lakers. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Well, all right.

Let's get to our verdict. We're going to count down from three to one. The wing we choose wing wing. Okay, that's a bias. Okay. The chicken we choose, the Freudian slip, the chicken we choose is advancing to the finals. We're deciding which one we would give to the devil to turn him into an angel and have him ascend to heaven.

The bite of it would be so divine that he would see the goodness of humanity and revert to his good self. The loser is still alive, still has a chance to get back into this thing. It's going to the loser's bracket and fat chance kitchen on the Doughboys double so it can possibly re-enter the main competition. His tail would go back into his body. Yeah, he went back to the devil now. Yes, first it would unfork.

It would unfork. His his his the big pitch fork he's holding would turn into what? A big staff, a big, a big walking stick. Right, like a Gandalf staff. A Gandalf staff, his hair would go from black to blonde. His eyes would become blue. Wait, this is starting to sound racialized. His thick, curly hair would become blonde.

His skin would get a lot lighter. His dew horns would shrink into his skull. All right. And he would, and he, and he, yeah, he would see the goodness of the way. So really think about this. Really think about what you want to choose here. I'm thinking about it. And I'm honestly, I haven't, I haven't even decided yet.

Wingstop versus Wendy's. This is Wingstop Wings versus Wendy's fried chicken options. Yes. Yes. And maybe technically they're other chicken, but no one right. OK, so we're going to say the one that we want to go to the devil. Yeah, we'll count from three to three to one and say which our favorite of this matchup was because the devil does like spicy stuff.

Yeah. OK, here we go. He's a heat seeker, is there a thing? The devil's the ultimate. He's the original heat seeker for sure. OK, here we go. No rumblies in his double. He, he likes the rumblies. He likes to, he likes to be on the toilet.

He's a sick fuck. Yeah, he likes diary. He likes to, he likes to be sitting on his toilet. I think he likes to inflict it on people. His toilet, his toilet seat is as hot as a frying pan. Well, no, it's it's the mouth of sinners. It's the mouth of the center. OK, center. Wait, yeah, the devil doesn't inflict pain to himself, or does he?

You know, he probably likes it, too. OK, he's into that. He's a freak. All right, here we go. Count down from three to one. Three, two, one. Wingsop. You fucker, Weiger. Look, I'm like, I would rather go to Wendy's than Wingsop.

I think based on this last experience, this head to head matchup, I think Wingsop had a better outing. This is fucking garbage with Wendy's minus its its most valuable player. Wendy's is going without James Harden right now, and the Houston Rockets do not have a chance at a playoff series. This is such garbage shit. Hey, look, Wendy's is staying alive. You're the fucking mouth.

The devil shits into you piece of shit. Why are you getting mad at me? Because you should have voted for Wendy's. I have Wendy's in my heart. I love Wendy's. Do you think I'm happy about this? Do you think I'm happy to get excised? Do you remember when Burger King beat in and out burger?

Yeah, that was bullshit. Yeah, and guess what? This is worse than that. This is not close to that. This is way worse. This is not even close to that. What are you talking about? This is worse.

This is not even close to that. Because also, Wendy's is even now the competition. They're going down to the losers bracket. I don't want them in the losers bracket. They're again, churches, chicken and McDonald's in the championship and Burger King, which you added to the maybe Burger King will beat Wendy's now. How'd you like that? That'd be turned about as fair play then.

And guess what? I would do what you did and just say, like, it doesn't matter. Wendy's is the worst. Is Burger King in this? Yeah, I mentioned Burger King. They're in the losers bracket. They have a fried chicken sandwich. They have a fried chicken sandwich.

And they have their classic. Listen, I can't even talk about Burger King. I'm very mad. I'm not happy about this. There nothing would make me happier than to look at the Dave Thomas Cup at the end of this tournament and see that engraved on it as the 2017 champion is Wendy's. But like, would you honestly say you would rather have that Asiago ranch

than six different kinds of delicious wings? I mean, yes, we're really taking if you know, if the Patriots lost their first round pick, yeah, Brady did not play those four games. Right. I mean, it happened, man, it happened. You know, and then like the court system as much as it's good or bad determined not that Godel was right, but he had the right to be wrong. Weiger set this up because he knows that I can't get mad at you, Selman. I love you.

I didn't set this up. I didn't set this up at all. I look, this is not a thing. I would rather that Wendy's was competing on a fair playing field. I would much rather have that be the case. I'm going to like send you anonymous spicy chicken sandwiches all week via whatever delivery service. Those be arriving your house at random.

Oh, Jesus. So so that means the final shirt will be good. The finals are set. That will be next week for the first time ever in the tournament's two year history. This is an announcement you can participate in a fan vote to help determine the champion. Details will be coming on our Twitter at Doe Boys Pods. So look out for that the next week or so, but it's so it's McNuggets.

It's no, it's Wingstop McDonald's versus Popeyes. Popeyes. Insane versus TBD Fat Chance Kitchen winner. Oh, TBD Fat Chance versus Armin versus Armin wants to be the champion. Yeah, Armin will be in there. He's one of them. All right, it's time for a regular segment. I've got a mystery beverage and Mitch and Selma must try to guess what it is.

It's a rematch of the Weigher Challenge. We'll be right back. Oh, my God. So if I remember correctly, that was Selma, the first person to beat me in the Weigher Challenge. I don't think I beat you. Yeah, I think I lost. Oh, really? OK.

Then a little rematch. Are you excited, Selma? Do you like this segment? Sure. Selma, your kids are off seeing Beauty and the Beast. Are we recording this or not? Yeah, we are. Oh, OK.

Your kids are off watching Beauty and the Beast. Do you think you'll see the movie? No. Do you think that those type of movies are kind of the future, it seems like, right now? Yes. Just remakes of animated movies that we've already seen. Just nothing original will ever happen again. You think so?

I don't know. I mean, I guess the future will be big budget, IP branded, super safe things. Yeah. And then, hopefully, there will be things like Get Out that are like made very inexpensively and passionate, new, fresh voice. And, you know, people will love it. So should I get out of Hollywood? Well, I saw you have the DVD collection for Parker Lewis Can't Lose on your coffee table.

That's true. So, you know, maybe the best work has already been done. All right, guys, I've given you some red solo cups. Hey, Nick, you keep pushing your chair into my my mirror. Shit, I'm sorry. Jesus fucking this up. I'm so I like this is this is the issue you're going to find, Mitch, with recording at your places that I am going to gradually break it.

Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with you? Do I get to meet the cats afterwards? Yes, of course. On our last on our bonus episode this week, I spilled a shamrock shake all over your table and floor. That's right. And right now I'm scratching up and eventually shattering the mirror that's a gigantic mirror that is a part of that.

It's huge. Yeah, I mean, that class is going to rain on all over me and possibly kill me. So there's that is that is that a crack up there? What is that built in top? Did you put that in? That's built in right? It's built in.

Yeah, by the shamrock shake asterix. Not a real shamrock shake. New weirdo McFlurry version of shamrock shake. No, really? Yeah, there's nothing. It's not the classic shamrock shake used to be this weird, icy, strange thing. And now it's like a frappe. You think they changed it to the formula?

Oh, 100%. We weirdly didn't talk about it much on the last episode of Failure of Us. I didn't notice the change. I didn't notice the change. Would you give it a drink or a stink? Yeah. I say drink. I see.

I say drink still. But I think they have switched some stuff up a little bit. When we were growing up, it was like a weird, like the founder, powdery, ice, strange concoction. And now it's super creamy. It's very creamy. The frappuccino family. Yeah.

I guess I haven't had enough of them to notice the shift. I do remember I bought everyone at the Simpsons Shamrock Shakes one day. And those were real or I think those were legit. I think maybe it was before they changed. Mitch, is it possible you just walked in with 12 shamrock shakes and they were like, hey, you brought enough for everybody? And you're like, yeah. It was also 24 shamrock shakes.

All right. So you guys have some red solo cups with a mystery beverage inside. Describe what you are seeing, smelling, and tasting as you go through it. I think that we have some sort of tea here. Mitch suspects a tea. And the rules of the Weigert Challenge is you guys can take as much time as you like. You can ask questions. I'm not obligated to answer them.

In fact, I usually won't answer them. And the winner will receive the balance of whatever container this beverage came in to take home with them. OK. I think I have a guess of what it is. OK, Mitch, go ahead. I think that I think that this is Arizona iced tea because I know Arizona iced tea. OK.

It may be Snapple when I might be wrong. And I think that it's a lemon diet flavor. That's what I was going to say. And now what? I was going to say lemon diet Snapple. Lemon diet Snapple is your guess, Selman? That's my only thought. That was my only thought.

Mitch, you're going with lemon diet? No, I thought myself because I said Arizona. No, I'll stick with Arizona. You're saying Arizona lemon diet. Yep. Neither of you is 100% correct. It's definitely diet. However, Mitch, you have won the Weiger Challenge.

It is Arizona iced tea and lemonade half and half. It's an Arnold Palmer, but it's a zero calorie Arnold Palmer. So you guys, your guys' palates are on point. Very well done. Yeah, it's pretty good, actually. You know, although if we can segue into Dumbbell's territory here, another subject that I love talking about.

Dumbbell's the fitness podcast. Dumbbell's the fitness podcast, the sister podcast. Yin to this yang. It's on a different network, but we consider ourselves brothers. The life to this death. Right. I don't know. Without evil, there can be no good.

Right. I think if you really want to lose weight, don't drink anything sweet, even if it has zero calories. I know. I'm probably right. I usually believe that. Yeah. It could be crazy, but I just.

So you're saying just go LaCroix crazy? Yeah. LaCroix, water, or unsweetened iced tea, that was tea Java. I do love unsweetened iced tea. I found like that's like, I love, I don't love it, but I found that that's a drink I can tolerate as my flavored beverage, flavored cold beverage of choice. This is a tough thing for me to give up,

which I think I should, maybe, maybe I'm going to give it up. I think just, just try it. Try it for a month because I, and this could be nonsense, but I've read that like just even tasting sugar, even though it doesn't technically have the calories, puts your body in a sugar kind of fat holding onto or metabolism, bad situation. I've heard that too. And I don't, it could just be more diet dogma nonsense, but as Esther Pavitsky said,

don't drink your calories. Right. Although the fact that she only ate a fucking dessert and had even tried to judge BJs or whatever was insane. No, no, I'm sorry. Wood Ranch. Wood Ranch. I love Esther, but like, you guys should, that's, where's, where was Susser then?

She judged a restaurant based on a dessert, only a wood ranch. Look, I don't even like wood ranch. I, I disagree with Nick on that, but like, like, Esther, we're calling you out. Calling you out. I'm not going to call Esther out. I, we give our guests a lot of leeway in terms of evaluating the chains, how they, how they look. Can you ever have fun?

I'm not going to call her out. I'm obviously insane in that I don't think, unless you've literally just, the last one hour eating everything on the menu, you can fully evaluate a restaurant. Can I also say also, as the president of Doughboys, Doughboys Corp, why, you have to listen to me. I am the president. Can I be one of the board of directors? Oh, sure.

We want to start selling stock soon. Like, you know, the way like they'll put like Morgan Freeman on the board of Coke, right? Class it up a little bit, even though he's not a corporate monster, you and you and Morgan Freeman should be on the, the Doughboys board fly. You first class these awesome retreats and like, you know, get paid. Oh, well, that's out of the question. We can get you a lift coupon code. The man we met with the accountant.

Nick Weigar's accountant was telling him how much, how he's so not fun. Nick's accountant was like, you're no fun over and over again. He's like, this guy's no fun, huh? He's accountant. Yeah, he said, but do you want your account to be pro fun? I mean, he's a great, he does a great guy, but he did, he did at one point say like, I try to make doing your taxes painless. Weigar always makes it painful.

Yeah, he, he really, yeah, he roasted me pretty good. I mean, he is funnier than you. That's not a high bar to clear. No, he's a very high bar. There's a, but yeah, he's, he's a good guy, but you're right. I get, I get properly roasted there. Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback.

Today's email comes to us from Brian Dmuchowski. I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. Brian, Brian writes, I want to be the first to speak out in support of Weigar's aversion to buying popcorn and other concessions in a movie theater. I also do not like popcorn or other movie snacks. They're expensive. They stick in your teeth are very allowed to eat and distracting when another moviegoer is ruffling a bag or aggressively chowing down.

Move on. Okay. Yeah, go ahead. Keep going. Movies are an art and I like Weigar give them my undivided attention. Oh, fuck off. My question is related to this new wave of full service movie theaters slash restaurants. These are more the upscale theaters that offer waiter service to your seat

with a full menu of entre sandwiches, appetizers and cocktails. I saw Lion in a theater like this. I love the film, but my experience was severely dampened by the patron next to me who was eating a full steak dinner and drinking a beer. Plus, the waiter had to keep coming back and forth, blocking my view as this customer ordered more food. I personally would never order a full dinner to my seat. How do you guys feel about this movie theater restaurants too far or a new

level of luxury for the movie going experience? I just want to address a couple of things. Go for it. Yes, people who bring in like bags, like plastic bags and they're going through their plastic bags. Yes, that's annoying. That's wrestling. Popcorn is not popcorn.

Popcorn popcorn is not I mean popcorn for dogs. Dog popcorn. Popcorn is not that loud. It's not. It's not loud. Here's here's the thing with crunch from it. But yeah, it's not that loud. It's not a little crunch.

Shut up. What are you talking to get a little crunch? It's not super loud. It's not. It's one of this. It's one of the quieter. It's much quieter, more quiet than chips. I don't think of M&M's is more rust.

I don't think I've ever heard a person eating popcorn. Yes, that is that is never an issue. Here's the issue with popcorn that I've been. I think I said it right that I have been having lately trying to get myself in shape. It's a terrible, calorically, it's really bad. If you get pop popcorn with a solution to that dumbbell, hashtag dumbbells. What's that by a bag of skinny pop, a hundred calorie by a bag of skinny pop. Eat it before you right before you go into the theater.

It will quench your desire for expensive, you know, coconut oil, butter, oil, cancer popcorn that they sell and you you will completely will negate it. I also always kind of have a case of the rumblies as Nick says after eating popcorn. Oh, yeah, I'll do it with with the butter. You know what? Now I just I always opt for like a diet Coke or a water and a hot dog or a hot dog, hot dog, a hot dog. You're overcorrecting now.

Just pronounce it how it comes to you. That's fine. Hot dog. Yeah, no, I'm trying. I would rather have a hot dog. Was it a pup dog for some reason? A pup dog, then then popcorn. I can't wait for you to go so far that you're now calling it a hot dog.

Well, this guy is that what he this guy. This guy is insane. It's an easy solution to his problem, which is go to the ninety nine percent of the theaters that do not serve steak. Yeah, you went to a very strange upscale. They I've seen some of these. They have like the AMC dining experience, what you haven't actually been to yet. There's the Austin.

Oh, what are they now? I can't remember the Austin Fat House. No, the movie theaters in Alamo, the Alamo Draft House, Alamo Draft House, and they they do like kind of full service there. I got to say this. They do such a good job delivering food that I never it was not any. I saw the Force Awakens for the first time. Me and John Ennis saw the Force Awakens together

when I was shooting something in Austin and and we went. I went to an Alamo Draft House for the first time and I got food and everyone around me got food. And it was they did such a good job with it that you didn't it was not disturbing at all during the movie. But the Alamo Draft House is that that's like a very small chain. There's like a few of them, right? Is there even more that there's a small chain, right?

Yeah, but I'm just saying this is a theater that serves food. Yeah, but I'm saying like but my point where I was driving with that is that like maybe this concept is not scalable. Like if they start doing this at like every AMC or every cinema, you know, I feel like there's going to be just it's going to be hard to get to the point where where the service is that refined and the service has that level of attention to detail with not interrupting your theatrical experience.

You know what I mean? But they usually have those in sections, you know what I mean? You can sit in the section upstairs that has like reclined seats and full service food and stuff. It's not like it's not like a thing where you're going to be like it's mixed in between. You know what I mean? Like it's either a certain section or a theater that does all of it.

I honestly don't think it's an issue. I think that you wrote this email and this guy is a fake human being. You think there's no Brian Demuchowski that he's a Weigar shell account? Yes, 100 percent. Well, if he is, it's a good question because as movie industry changes and economics change, like, you know, and movies get more expensive and how are these chains going to make money? And right.

So in one way is to make the experience more geared towards an elite one percent like the rest of the nightmare planet anyway. And this guy is clearly a ding dong for having gone to a place that serves as a restaurant in disguise. I will just say my brother and I were in Cape Cod two years ago on Falmouth and we went to go see Guardians of the Galaxy. And we went to like the crappy little multiplex, like eighties multiplex and we went in and instead of chairs,

it was tables and it was kind of kind of rudimentary tabletop electronic ordering of popcorn and hot dog and nachos and basic stupid kind of, you know, baseball stadium food and beer. And it was just the best experience we ever had. Yeah, we were on tables. It was on Cape Cod. It was Guardians of the Galaxy. And like we had beers just being brought to us.

And that sounds great. What could have been more fun? Right. We didn't know we didn't even know we were buying that. We want we'd already had dinner. We just ate Chinese food, like a peaking ravioli, which they that's like in Boston when Chinese food and like sell Chinese food to Americans for the first time in the fifties and sixties, like what are dumplings?

People won't eat that. No, just call them peaking ravioli. Mm hmm. You know, it worked. Of course. Yes. Yeah. I love that word. Sounds good. Hot sticker was had not been invented yet. Right. Anyway, so just hearing peaking ravioli together, that makes like, oh, that's something I want to try.

Yeah, it's as you've had it a thousand times. Yeah, Boston Chinese food is great. Well, it's so old school. It's just it's so Americanized. Right. I want to you saying that makes me want to just move to Cape Cod. I should move to Cape Cod at some point. Yeah, have your own little Manchester by the sea. I know once even that movie that I will probably try.

What? I don't have the gun scene. I think I saw it as far as read the screenplay. But yeah, because of the the Writers Guild, the Writers, the TV Writers Union and Movie Writers Union, they'll just send you screenplays for movies that are nominated for awards. I feel like most of them just get thrown in the trash. But on occasion, I guess someone will read one. I penalize them.

Like if you send me a free movie, I will try to nominate that movie. But if you send me a movie and a screenplay, forget it. Right. Just this movie, please. And no, I don't even want the don't send me the code so I can watch it on my computer, even though it's an identical experience. Sometimes you get to keep it, though, if they send you the code, like it goes into your iTunes. It's true. But what you need is just people to come to your house

and see them kind of a little hoarded in a pile and then you feel that like jealousy. That's the experience I want. You can't get that by no one's going to stumble upon your iTunes account. I'll say I've been in the WGA for just only a couple of years now, a few years. The Weight Gainers Association. So sorry. No, I'm like pro health. Selman with a shack dunk.

That was that was quite the dunk. And also, I that was very on your toes. That's why Selman is where he is and why we're and I are where we are. Just I just got lucky, everyone. I just got lucky. I just got lucky. It's all it's all just randomness of chaos. The universe is chaos, people.

The universe is chaos. You know, I'm trying. I'm a bright light in this darkness. I'm I'm in no way special. I just I can't believe I said that about my thing. I wait. What was I saying? Oh, I'm going to.

Yes, I'm bringing home those those those DVDs. I'm a hero around holiday time. My mom and then her friends and the friends, her friends love the movies and I get to share them with everybody now that WGA is going to not give them to me anymore because I said this right now. But anyway, has any movie ever made one extra dollar of revenue because it got a Writers Guild Award? Like, yeah, I don't know.

One person, one human being, little nomination said. Oh, right. You know, like that one extra little bit of writing on the ad. Laurel and it could be anything. I need these movies. Big thing for me. I want to move to Cape Cod and be a shark hunter and hunt. Shark hunter.

Yeah, like Quint and Jaws. Sharks are good. You don't want to kill sharks. The even the great whites are OK until they eat some townsfolk. Don't leave them alone. Yeah, I'm not going to kill. I'm not going to really become a shark hunter for God's sake. But sharks are our enemies.

No, they're not really our enemies. I feel like we like we just like this is where it turns. Everyone turns on me because of sharks. No, I feel like just like leave them alone. Let them do their own thing. I mean, we've been think of how fun the ocean would be without sharks. I believe something like 50 million sharks are killed by man a year. Like Google it.

Yeah. And just in the nature of like horrible bottom dredge trawling fishing. Yeah. And there's a pretty there's the pretty shark shark soup is pretty horrific. Oh, fuck you guys. Wendy's lost already. Wendy's had a spicy shark sandwich. That would be good.

I just want to say that if there were no sharks in the ocean, I this is the truth. Yes. Imagine how fun the ocean would be if there were no sharks. Well, we'd be swimming. We'd be shark is the last thing that will injure you in the ocean. Statistically speaking, what are the swordfish? No, just you're more likely to trip or drown.

Yeah, it's accident. It's like winning the lottery in reverse. Any shark, even in a super sharky area. Right. Look, I understand fear, Mitch. Yes, it's a real thing. Fear is real and it's hard to change your fears. Be it of ghosts.

Yes, very scary. Sharks or the devil or the devil or flabby, uninspired fried chicken sandwiches. But that last one is haunting me today. So I'm not going to try to convince you not to be scared of sharks. I am scared of sharks because the fear is part of who we are and how we are built. I just openly swim in the ocean so much as a kid.

Although, did you say there's that Buddhist place around the corner? Yeah, there's a Buddhist place. You should go there and start meditating. I could do that. It's right there. It's so close. I might do that. That's not that's not a bad idea.

And now people now people know where I live. There's the city is full of Buddhist places. Well, you say the street you live on on the podcast. Shut up, Wiger. OK, anyways, I just want to say this. Yeah, the the bad like those the problem with movies are people who bring in the bags. Oh, right.

I don't mind people bringing in food to the theater because whatever you want to save some money. That's fine. But the rustly bags, plastic bags that you bring them and they've got to go. You can't do that anymore. That's that's insane. Put them in your purse or your backpack or your pockets or whatever. Two, I want to say that way more of an issue with movies

are people talking and people using their phones. And I went and saw the founder. I'm trying to think what age group I think is the worst at talking. I think it is teenagers, no matter what. Right. But there every age group is very, very bad. And and and and if you use your if you use your phone in the movie theater, I'm sorry, but you're a fucking asshole.

Don't use your fucking phone in the movie theater. I'm sick of it. You got to stop using your fucking phone in the movie theater. Yeah, the lights are a bother. When the lights go down, you put your phone away, you put it on silent. And if you have an emergency number that you have it, unsilent that. And if you get a call, leave the theater and go talk to them. But that's part of the fun of the the theater experience for me is just like

the like it's oh, it's a rare situation. I'm going to give something my undivided attention for a set amount of time. I agree. Yeah, Brian, I know you are a real boy. I would say that it just sounds like you you patronize the wrong theater as someone was going towards it. I think there's a happy medium between places that offer full service and places that are just offering you a fucking steak dinner.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at doughboyspodcast.com and to get their doughboys double our weekly bonus episodes, subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys. Matt Selman, thank you so much for joining us. Sure. Anything you would like to plug at this point. Well, not really. OK, just I did think just one more idiotic comment on the last topic, which is although the movie experience can be ruined by rude people in.

You know, keep it keep this in mind. There is no experience so elevated that it cannot be ruined by a rude person. I.E. like an unbelievably expensive theater ticket for Hamilton or a basketball game or a football ticket or a first class airline experience. Again, this is not me doing that one percent or stuff. But like the number of times that people I know have had like rarefied once in a lifetime experiences ruined by an inconsiderate person is astounding, little where people is just is where you think you're going and you never think

about it going like, oh, my God, I've never seen Hamilton, but whatever. I just paid the thousand dollars to go see Hamilton. I can't wait to see Hamilton and like drunk asshole is talking to Hamilton. Like that has happened during the show. It's so crazy or like I've got floor seats at the Rockets Clippers game. And some inconsiderate. Oh, just dumped Blake Griffin's private Gatorade show on my lap. Well, actually, once I was there, this is the and, you know,

they have like that balm that like for their hands. Yeah, they're sweaty. That balm got in my popcorn a little bit. Oh, my God. What a disaster. OK, let's I'm going to be murdered. Well, I say bring the revolution. So kill if the revolution comes and it means killing me. I'm all for it.

And I will I will see to it that you are spared, because I will I'll probably be one of the leaders of the revolution, right, right, Mitch? I'm not so sure about that. You mean the robot revolution? You know, people just need to be more considerate all around. Be more considerate. You're right. Yeah, Mitch, you're right. That's a great note to end on. I agree.

And eat skinny pop before going to the movie. Yes, or you'll join the Weight Gainers Association. They'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigar. Happy eating. See you. Thank you.