Doughboys - Two Hands Corn Dogs with Jamie Loftus

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

Jamie Loftus (Raw Dog: The Naked Truth About Hot Dogs) joins the 'boys to talk about her new book, Family Guy, and all things hot dogs before diving into a review of Two Hands. Plus, another edition of Let Me Be Frank. Sources for this week's intro: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Instagram https://www.cnn.com/2013/01/30/tech/social-media/facebook-mobile-users/index.html https://www.forbes.com/sites/abigailabesamis/2020/10/06/the-evolution-of-instagram-and-its-impact-on-food-culture/?sh=5621528469b0 https://www.bhg.com.au/instagram-food-trends https://www.thehotdog.org/korean-corn-dogs/ https://www.bonappetit.com/story/korean-corn-dogs https://www.twohandsus.com/Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash Doughboys media. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business.

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In 2010, Stanford grads Mike Krieger and Kevin Systrom combined their budding apps, Bourbon and Mebo, into a photo sharing service they called Instagram. While the focus on filtered pics over text was its initial hook, it's arguably the emission of a feature that was its true vision. Instagram had no desktop version by design, launching exclusively on Apple's iOS. Krieger and Systrom correctly anticipated that the social network, as Cannelly explored in David Fincher's 2010 film of the same name, would soon migrate from computers to smartphones. In 2012, Facebook acquired Instagram in a billion dollar bid and by 2013, Facebook's mobile users outnumbered its desktop users for the first time. The mindshare takeover

by camera-equipped smartphones loaded with endlessly scrolling social media apps was in full swing, drastically altering everything from pop culture to geopolitics to the depression rates of teenagers, and of course, food. Benders with Instagram-worthy foodstuffs found themselves as destinations for diners eager to gram their grub for likes, and this quickly became a calculated ploy from new pop-ups and aspiring home-cook influencers, leading to viral trends like unicorn lattes and activated charcoal-infused ice cream. Much of it looking better than it actually tasted. But one Instagram-boosted dish predated the app by decades. A South Korean battered sausage on a stick's soul light simply called a hot dog and commonly

labeled a Korean corn dog in the States. A popular street food originating in the 1980s, the girthy, turgid-weeners dwarf any American county fair offering, often riveted with potatoes and panko breadcrumbs to enhance their majesty. The gram-ready dogs became fast food fashionable around 2016, initially attributed to the wares of Busan-based Myong-Rang hot dog and hashtag Korean hot dog soon regularly trended on Instagram and an emerging platform, TikTok. Sensing opportunity, in 2019 a Korean corn dog outlet opened an LA's Koreatown district and drew long lines in one of the most competitive food neighborhoods in the city. Just four years later it's become a rapidly growing franchise, its website boasts more than 40

locations and hundreds more coming next year. But is this expansion sustainable as a South Korean hot dog's virality wanes? This week on Doughboys, two hands. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Oedipus Steps, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Oedipus Steps? Oedipus Steps is the roast courtesy of Grip G, how they like to be credited. So wait, hold on, because there's an Oedipus complex about... Yeah, Oedipus Rex, to pun off of Rex, I think. I don't know what Oedipus Rex is. I don't know about it. Is it one of the new, was it one of the, was it Jurassic World? Yeah, Jurassic World. The new genetically engineered one. Newer character,

yeah. And it's like a dinosaur that like was in love, a T-Rex that like was in love with his mom, basically. Yes, in love with Bryce Dallas Howard, because it's like that's my mommy. This sounds like alien resurrection, is that four? Yes. I'm thinking of alien resurrection. Oh, is that what you were thinking of? Yeah. It's great. Grip G writes, I think someone should open a Frankfurter pop-up called NaviDog, the way of Wiener, serving all blue hot dogs, roastspoonman at gmail.com. We haven't, we haven't, we haven't, we haven't a movie conversation before this all started. So yeah, you got to riled up, but we were talking about Avatar the Way of Water, which you like a lot, which I like a lot, which Casey likes a lot, which

our guest likes a lot. We found out that our guest really likes Avatar the Way of Water. It's great. It's great. We live in this world of positivity. We don't need to be second guessing, you know, some decisions that were made regarding certain things. I'll just be very vague. Look, I had no problems with, look. Film Twitter needs to shut the fuck up. Film Twitter is annoying as fuck. They don't even like movies. Fucking idiots. Anyways. Mitch Boll is over. Munch Madness Boll is over. On the other side of Boll. Is Oedipus Rex? Was that his full name, the character? No, it's Oedipus is the name. But what is Oedipus Rex? You got to tell me. So if it would be like Rex Oedipus, if we were talking

to him today, is like last name, first name? Rex Oedipus is a cool way. Okay, here's what it is. Here's what it is. Oedipus Rex is the title. Oedipus Rex. So like Oedipus the King is what it means. Yeah. All right, I'm not that. His name is Oedipus. No, you're not dumb. I didn't know Oedipus Rex. Yeah. But also the name was, it was, oh, Oedipus steps. Yeah, that's the whole, it's always a pun off of. It sucked. Can we say that? It's like film Twitter. I thought that one was pretty good. It's pretty good. I'm not going to be mean to who is the roaster. That was Grip G and the picture, Navi Dog, the way of Wiener also good. Oh, that was great. I loved that. Great. Thanks, Grip G. Mitch Boll is over. We're back to destroying our

bodies with dog shit yet again. And today was kind of exhibit A. This was a, this was a pretty punishing meal we had before we recorded. We did. Yeah. It was my first food of the day. This is your first meal of the day? Yeah. A bunch of Korean corn dogs? Yeah. What time did you wake up? I said this story before I got here. I woke up so, Anya, one of the producers here at Head Gum, she talked about the CBD, CBN gummies. And I was like, I'm going to take these. And so I took one last night. You were skeptical at first because you're like, I don't like fake new CBN. And then. What is that in? Isn't CBN, isn't it a news thing? I think it is a fictional news state, news network and some.

We got to figure out what the movie is. I think it's the newsroom. Is it the newsroom? Wow. Wow. I think Casey is actually watching an episode of the newsroom back there. We don't know what he's doing. Sam Watterson is doing a monologue right now about truth and media. I took the pilots are telling the pilots of a grounded plane are being told by a reporter that bin Laden was killed. And then they like shake each other's hands for some reason. Isn't that so confusing? Is it? Is newsroom the one when there is a reveal that like 9-11 happens? The reveal on newsroom. I watched so much of the newsroom. It's fucking terrible. But the reveal on it. A lot of the acting is good, but it's just like conceptually,

it's so up its own ass. There is a reveal in the pilot that the Deepwater Horizon incident has just happened. That's what it is. I do remember that. Yeah. Timeline wise, it's like, oh, you don't realize until like an hour into the pilot that it's set like two years in the past. And so what it ends up, the show ends up doing in one of its most obnoxious qualities is it relitigates how the media should have covered all these events. Like this is what the media should have done when this financial crisis happened or whatever. It's a bad, not a great idea for a show just in general to like, especially just the way the news has been for like 20 plus years. I mean forever, I guess.

But it's just like, we're going to like make you relive these horrible events that you kind of remember from a couple of years ago. But like time to like relive this once again. And I don't think it ever caught up to the pandemic, but and thank God for that because I would have been so fucking gnarly. Oh, no, it didn't. Or to Trump. No, it didn't catch up to either of those things. It was only on the, it was only a couple of years on the air, right? I thought so. Yeah. Anyways, check it out. Aaron Sorkin is such a loser. It really bumps me out.

I really like, I think with the exception of the social network, and he's a loser in some points of that too, but he's such a, he's a loser and he made my mom a loser because she still quotes the West Wing to me all the time. Yeah, anytime I question Joe Biden's decisions. Right. West Wing is coming in. West Wing is a show that like everyone's like, you got to watch West Wing and I've never seen it before. I've seen one West Wing. It's a well done show. I think it's very much of its age and it is kind of like that kind of, like it's that, that, that boomer liberal, like the way we wish we were, you know, sort of thing. It's kind of aspirational that way. It's a little obnoxious.

I will say that. I'm in front of the pod, Rob Lowe as well. Yes, that's right. Past guest, future guest. The, the, the thing I was going to say is about Aaron Sorkin. I do really like social network, which Jamie pointed out. And then also a few good men is a great script. Oh, I've never seen it. A few good men is great. And, and so I think he is like one of those guys who, it's, it's like what, and I have this in my head because I'm wearing a soprano's t-shirt, but like they say about Johnny Sack at a certain point when he takes over the New York family, they're just like, and he kind of goes crazy and maniacal. And they're just like, some guys make a better number too. I think that, I think

Sorkin needs a director working over him to like really be calling the shot. Someone like Da Finchman. Da Finchman. We love Da Finchman. Da Finchman times Sorkin. It's a good combo. Yeah, great combo. Great crossover. Johnny Sack though, I do kind of like. I like Johnny Sack. He loves his wife. He loves his wife. That's wonderful. He cries it. Is that her name? Yeah. He, Johnny Sack, he cries it at his daughter's wedding and then they're like, and then all the other mafia guys are like, any respect I had for Johnny Sack as a man

just went out the fucking window. Wait, is this a Prano's thing? This is a Prano. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Have you ever seen it? No. I say, I watched up to, I watched up to season two and I was like, I'm bored and then I, and people don't like to hear it. No, season two is kind of the worst season. So I think that's a fair place to tap out. It's the same issue with a wire. It's like the second season they did, they kind of, you know, had the sophomore slump. I'm not going to be like a film Twitter bro and be like, you got to watch the Prano's. I will go back someday, but I just, I don't know. I watched,

I watched the first season and a half two different times. Wow. And I got stuck in the same place both times. The same thing happened to me when I was trying to play Kingdom Hearts when I was 10. Just got to the same place twice and I'm like, ah, this is just not for me. What did you get up to? Was it like Goofy? Did Goofy become a sorcerer or something? I remember so clearly. It's when you're fighting the Queen of Hearts and she would fucking demolish me every single time and I get pissed. And then I think my mom was like, we can't have this turn into like a drywall situation. Right. Turn it off.

Yeah. It's a, I've definitely hit those, those stumbling blocks in, in games and other media. There's a game that you've put two under hours into. You haven't beaten. You're taking my Elden Ring? Yeah. I'm about 200 hours into it. I'm about 100 hours, but... I think I've put 200 in. Maybe, it's maybe 200. I'll beat it at some point. What number does it start to be a lot? Because for me, it's like seven.

Yeah. That's the thing. Games are an unreasonable time commitment. Like it's like, I love video games, but it's like, oh, I could play this video game. Persona 5 Royal is the last like massive game that I played to completion. I spent like 150 hours in it. And I was like, I also could have read like, like 15 books, you know, or I could have like, you know, I could have watched. Yeah, exactly. Or I could have watched like the entire like, you know, AFI top 100 movies in the same amount of time. You could have watched the newsroom four times all the way through.

It's going to happen again with, what is it called? Tears of the Kingdom? But the Wild Tears of the Kingdom? Yeah. Second Zelda Switch game. But you got to drop to play and we got a guest to introduce. To Spoon Nation, here's a little drop. Well, you know what? I got to play this little drop myself. Wow. We just played it off the phone old style, old school style. That's right. No, I mean, when you hear it, it's going to be all inserted. It will sound good.

Yeah, but I'm just letting people know what happens. I'm afraid it's going to get scared. You know how our listeners are. I'm worried Mitch will play this drop off the phone. Here's the funny thing. I won't be able to hear it clearly. Shut up. Not loading. Oh boy. I mean, do you want me to vamp or are we just going to wait? I think we just have to wait.

Okay. So I don't, hold on. I quit my, okay. Do you know what? That did it. Thanks for doing the show, Jamie. Sorry, this is kind of a weird start. This is totally fine. This is, I'm having a really nice time. Thank you. It'll be worth it when you hear the drop the drop. Yeah, I will. The sopranos came up because I was like, I can't engage during this part.

Oh, that's all right. No, that's all right. I think it is my favorite show of all time, I'd say, sopranos. I think it's a pretty, a staggering work of art that hasn't really been exceeded in the medium. I don't know if it's my personal favorite, but I love it. Well, what would beat it for you? Is there, I mean... Hi, The Simpsons. Just nostalgic. I just love The Simpsons so much.

Great show. It is. You know what? That is up there. Seasons one through eight or whatever. You know, it's a good ass show. 60 minutes. 60 minutes is good too. It's been on for a long time. Been on for a long time, yeah. Kind of weird to put sopranos versus 60 minutes, but...

Both on TV. All right, fair enough. Well, documentary. All right, here we go. Here's a little drop, Wags. Honestly, for long drives, I'm often an audiobook man. Recorded books presents an unabridged recording of The Alphabet, read by Nick Weiger. A to Z, that's what we're working with.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, W, X, Y, C. This has been a complete waste of time. Wow. That was so much work. I can't believe someone did that. Well, he's good. You know who it is. Is it Finke? It's Finke. Wow.

Hi, everyone. If anyone is looking for a real audiobook recommendation, Stephen King's 11-22-63 is maybe my favorite of all time, Chris Finke. Wow. Wow. The drop master, I believe we called him. Sure. I don't remember. I don't remember his title. You know what? This will be easy to remember.

President drop. All right. President drop. That's great. President drop. That's Finke. Yeah. A legitimate president. We have a great guest with us today, an acting comedian and author of Raw Dog, The Naked Truth About Hot Dogs, which you can pre-order anywhere. You buy books, Jamie Loftus. Hi, Jamie.

Hi. Thanks so much for being here. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me. I'm excited. I'm excited about Raw Dog. Do you think I just caused a January 6th with the Finke news? There's going to be like a bunch of like chubby dough boys, droppers. Yeah. They won't be able to get up the steps.

The steps to head gum? Yeah. I hope it motivates them to get better, you know, just the dry harder. Jamie, I don't know where to begin with Raw Dog. I've yet to read it, but I'm excited to dig in. But tell us about the book, like how it came about and what we should expect. Yeah. Well, you're just, I honestly, I felt like cheating. Honestly, it felt like cheating because I was like writing out a book proposal and they were like,

well, there hasn't been a lot of travel books because I started writing it in 2021 while there was like lockdown was sort of just starting to ease up a little bit. And then I was like, all right. What is a travel book that would make sense for me? And there's like not a lot of books written about hot dogs and all the books that were written about hot dogs because I read them all, I think. I don't know. But I read a bunch of them and they're all very like,

they're so pro hot dog in a way that ignores huge things. Like none of them talk about meat production or anything like that. So I was like, okay, I want to write about a hot dog road trip and write about like the good parts and the bad parts and then just eat a shitload of hot dogs. So it's about like a road trip I took with my ex-boyfriend in 2021. Listen to a lot of Doe Boys on that. Oh, God bless you.

Wow. Yeah. Your name dropped in the book. Wow. Wow. Yeah. So this is a huge moment. We're learning this on the air. This is huge.

This is huge. Yeah. And we won't be named dropped in a book again until like, I don't know. There's some retrospective on like podcasts and why they were bad for society. That's right. Or like.

Or is this upcoming January 6th thing with the drop rates? That's gonna be big. The January 6th book will be mentioned. That's a good oral history thing. Or some like psychiatric study book when Wags and I are both fucking locked up at some point in the future. This is, what an honor. Thank you so much.

That's amazing. It was, I mean, I had a lot of fun listening all summer. It was, it caused multiple, not disagreements between me and my ex, but there was like, a time where I was like, I was so with you guys and then other times where I was deeply resenting you for short amounts of time. Wow.

Because he would listen to you guys in the shower and it was like, I'm just trying to watch Family Guy at the hotel TV. Yeah. And he's blasting it in the shower. Blasting the podcast, right? Yeah. We don't know.

I don't know what's going on in the shower. But yeah, it was, you guys were a part of that trip in my head because we were on the road for weeks and weeks. No one should hear our voices in the shower. No, that's, yeah. That's, I think I'd rather have the, what is it? Oh, fuck. I forgot the name of the movie.

What? Wait. What do you, I don't know. I don't even know what you're driving at. Okay. Which is covering his face with his hands. I was saying like, I was going to say like, oh, I'd rather have the, and then I forgot the movie.

It's, it's not. Could give it any context. What are you referencing? Is it the shower thing? Yeah. Is it like a psycho thing? It's from the grudge. Oh, the grudge.

Okay. The grudge hair moment. Yeah. But I was trying to remember her name and I forgot her name in the grudge. Jew on the grudge, right? What's that? I mixed up the grudge with the ring. The ring is Samara.

Samara. Samara. Samara. Samara. Samara? Samara. Samara. Samara.

Samara. Samara. Samara. Okay. Like you're right. And, and uh. You say Samara, I say Samara. That's like a good Halloween version of it.

That is. Um, and then the grudge, I forget what her name is, but there's a little boy who, it was on the other day. Look, I should have gone down this path. It's fine. This is all fine. It was, but it was, it was, I think it was still kind of worth it. No one should hear our voices in the shower.

I'll stand by that. I, I agree with you there, Mitch. I want to, I want to ask for- In fact, I'd rather have that grudge hand come out of my hair. There you go. Emma, if you just want to fix that in post. Have you ever gotten that feedback before of like listeners that listen to you in the shower? I haven't heard that specifically.

We've certainly heard like- I'm surprised to hear that. Yeah. Obviously. No, well, I mean, people definitely listen to us in, in a, in a lot of different contexts, but I, I just haven't heard that specifically. I'm sure it happens. I've heard a couple, I've heard one thing that you said, which is

my Justin Kiley, who, you know, uh, one of my best buddies. Yeah. Um, he would say, I would listen to the podcast and I'd get so mad at you for some takes. Like I would be like very mad and disagree with you and want to yell at you. Uh-huh. And Mike has said the same thing to me. Like, like, uh, your take was bad and I didn't like it. I wanted to yell.

So I've heard that before. Yeah. So only negative. Yes. Yeah. Well, that's great. No, I, I think he was enjoying in this. I mean, I'm assuming.

I don't know. I don't really know what was going on. He's blasting it in there. I just remember one day saying like, enough. Yeah. Um, but it didn't stop. That happens with dope. That also happens.

That's very common. Eventually that will happen. The boys see that we had others. I, I, I want to talk more about hot dogs. Cause we, we're watching Discuss There, but I do, you mentioned family guy. Who is your favorite family guy character? Oh, well. Well, can I ask you, can I ask you who your favorite family guy character is?

Yeah. What? Okay. Is it Peter? Don't worry. I'll go through all of them. Or is it Chris? Or is it Stewie?

Met your, the new Mikey bullets. Um, are you done? Don't forget Cleveland. I know there's more. And Lois. So that's not as good. No, yeah. Or maybe Marge.

Marge might want to know who your favorite family guy character is. Marge is in canonically. Yeah, it's true. As a bet on family. Cross over episodes. It would be funny if your favorite family guy member was Marge or home. Technicality.

Yeah. Yeah. Who, who was your, who was your favorite family guy? I was really into family guy when I was a kid and I still watch it sometimes. And I really had like a crush on Brian the dog. Oh yeah. Vibe wise. Yeah.

I was really all about. Which by the way, to do that voice, just going to get Seth McFarland to talk. Very close to his normal voice. Yeah. Turns out I just had a crush on Seth McFarland. Oh man. Turns out.

But yeah, I loved Brian the dog. I mean, he, uh, he's great, great character. I, one of my, this will show how much older Wags and I are than you in college. I remember family guy was on for like three years and I liked it. Because I think it started maybe when I was in high school and then I went to college and it was canceled. And I remember it came back.

The first show to come back, which was like, I can't believe they can do that with a show. They can just bring a show back. It came back. It came pouring back. And then I had an internship out here. I went and worked in Colorado. This is like my first year in LA and I came back. I went to, uh, Dave Matthews Band Concert, uh, with this woman, Chrissy,

who I worked with on the, uh, who would work with in Denver. And we met, uh, dude who worked at Family Guy and I tried to get a PA job there. This is like my first year in LA. Was it Quagmire? Yeah. He loves DMB. All right. Yeah, I'm not going to do that anymore.

I give up. But, uh, but I, that was like, I really wanted to work there when it was, and it was kind of back and new. Yeah. Uh, but then I went and worked at the, not the enemy, but I went and worked at the Simpsons, the other spot. I feel like that was the right thing to do. I mean, that was a more important show to me than Family Guy.

But I liked those first few seasons of Family Guy especially. And then, uh, uh, a guy from Ithaca, Arty Ohan worked over there, too. There's people who I know who work over there. It's how we met a great friend of the show, a frequent guest, and our chicken correspondent, Matt Selman, was via your connection. That's true. There you go. Simpsons connection.

Yeah. Let's, uh, let's go back to hot dogs. So, so is there a reason you zeroed in on hot dogs in particular? Like, are you like a long time hot dog fan? Yes. I love hot dogs. Always have, always will. Is it your favorite food or is it in your favorite foods?

It's the food I eat the most. The most? Wow. I, yeah, I think it's my favorite. Is that thing of like, it feels almost like the doomsday clock where they're like, one hot dog eating is this amount of time off your life or whatever. Does that scare you? I don't believe it.

I just don't fuck. I think you're right. That was one of the things that like, people sent it to me a lot when they knew I was writing this book. And then I had, had for a while, I was like, I'm going to find a, find out. Cause it's, it's one of those things where we're like, a study says this. I'm like, well, who did it? Lettuce?

Like, I don't trust, like I couldn't find the source of the study. I'm like, I did, I think it's someone that doesn't like hot dogs. And I think that when you eat something you like, something happens in your brain and you live longer. So it balances out. It doesn't matter. Um, yeah. I ate a lot of pizza when I was a boy and they always say,

you ate so much pizza, you're going to turn into a pizza. I've heard this. Yeah. That's what they said to me. And I was like, whatever. And then like, when I was a teenager, I like was rashie and had bad acne. You probably did look like a fucking slice. I probably did look bad like a pizza.

Yeah. But I still don't believe it. I don't think that that made me turn. I mean, I guess anything unhealthy you shouldn't eat a lot of, but I don't believe that hot dogs are like, get like, and they're going to make your life end sooner if you eat more of them. I don't, I don't believe it. I don't think so.

I mean, I think like outside of like Joey Chestnut, it's like pretty unlikely that hot dogs are going to take time off of. That'd be so funny if I had died before this came out though. And she was dead from. And the doctor's like, it was hot dogs. Yeah. Topsy was just too many dogs. I mean, Joey Chestnut, if you put that, you know,

if you put that, I mean, which I never, no one ever will, whatever, but Joey's probably living on borrowed time. If that's. Joey, I don't know what's going on with Joey. I follow Joey's career very closely, very invested in what he's up to. And right now he's like taking some spawn. He's taking, he did some work for dude wipes because he's a messy guy. Yeah.

It makes sense for him and he's doing pistachios, which makes less sense to me. Oh, yes. He was, he was doing a pistachio. I saw him on SportsCenter promoting. Is it just the nut in his name? Chestnut. Maybe that's, that's the loophole. I don't know what's going on.

It is. Yeah. It's, I mean, it's food, but it's not a pretty tenuous connection to the hot dogs. He ate a bunch of pistachios on the Santa Monica pier and then I didn't wake up early enough to go. It was like nine a.m. on a Sunday and I would have to take the bus. That's far too early to go see a man eat pistachio. That's also, I feel from his perspective, that's a tough bit of food endurance. Like pistachios.

Do you guys have a hydrant? It's not a chestnut. It's not like it's, no, I don't. It's not a chestnut. There is no chestnut. Sounds like a, it sounds like a stage name, but it's not. Oh, there is a chestnut. I think a chestnut is real.

It's a real thing. It does sound like a stage name. You're right. That was, you're a 24. Thank you for bringing that up. Oh boy. Here we go. Casey's wearing a shirt that says A24 and Weigar Saran said a 24.

Hold on. You're not characterizing it correctly. But how is that? It says A20-4 spelled out. It's spelled out in Weigar Saran's case. You can see it on camera. You can see it on camera. So if you look at it, it looks like a 24.

It looks like a partial thought. And I was just like, what's a 24? I understand that A24 is a thing. And sure, maybe for a moment I forgot that chestnuts existed. I was trying to make some sort of jerking off joke. Some sort of cum joke. Some sort of cum joke. Where one might target a load, for instance.

Yes, yes. That's what I was trying to, that was where I was trying to go with chestnut. You're right. I got it. But then I forgot that there are actual chestnuts. Squirrels like them. Yeah. They do.

Squirrels do like them. Let's talk hot dog condiments. Okay. What do you put on a standard dog? Well, I just feel like when this comes out, the whole city of Chicago is going to have a big problem with me. And I just have to deal with it. But I like...

Don't be, I'm going to say this. Don't be scared of those fucking Steve Bartman bashing assholes. Fuck them. We're going to Chicago with you. I don't give a shit. I'm coming for you. We're going to bring out fucking Bartman. I love that Bartman.

I got so scared that I was like, I did a show in Chicago months before the book came out. There's going to be a period where I'm going to feel unwelcome there. Because of how I feel about their hot dog. I don't like it. Wow. And I like ketchup. And I think that it's...

They're going to be so mad. They are going to be so mad. They're going to be genuinely mad. When I was there in February, have you ever seen that disgusting hot dog statue that's like the one that's licking its own teeth and has teeth and has gloves? And it's like squirting mustard on its head and ketchup on its belly. And I went to this hot dog place a couple of weeks ago in Chicago

and they had cut... Sounds a little bit like a chestnut. The ketchup's doing a little bit of a chestnut thing. I just hate this fucking statue so much. This is a Chicago statue? This is like general statue. I've seen this guy. I know what you're talking about.

Yeah. This guy's around and I can't... They tried to put the guy on the cover of my book. I'm like, I can't look at that guy. But they cut the ketchup off. It was like broken and splintered off. And I asked the cashier, was there an accident? And he's like, no.

They're so crazy with the ketchup on hot dogs. They need to relax. It's wild. I like it. Ketchup on hot dogs is good. I'll say it. It is. It's just fucking good.

I usually don't have ketchup on hot dogs, but I'm fine with people who do. That's totally fine. Why does it have to be mad about? It's fine. I'm coming out to do The Bart Man at the Chicago Show. That's all I'm going to do. I mean, it doesn't really matter much, but it's the least I can do.

The fucking city. I've had enough to hear what them likes. They've always been good to us. We've had lovely times. I know. I do like the city, too, actually. But anyway. It's so much fun.

But then it's like this one issue that I can't... Whatever. But yeah, I like a classic New England hot dog. I like the bun that's like a little... The high-top bun. Ketchup, mustard, relish. The bun's got to be toasted. And I like when the hot dog is grilled.

No more talking. Oh, no. Real is fun. Yeah. Real is fun. I love grilled. No ketchup. Malort.

We'll fucking drink Malort, which tastes like fucking shit. Have you had Malort? We had Malort on the onstage. It's horrible. I didn't mind it. What is Malort? What is this Chicago-ass-cake kissing you're doing?

I didn't mind it. No. Because I think part of it was that there was so much... There's so much emphasis on like, hey, this is like drinking turpentine. This is like pure poison. This is going to taste like you're swallowing Windex. And then when I had it, I was just like,

okay, this is kind of... This has like a piney character to it. It kind of reminded me of like a worse fernet. And I do like a fernet. So I was like, I think this is okay. It's not... I didn't like it, but it's not terrible. I'm calling bullshit on you.

Double shit. That's fucking bullshit. I'll take a Malort right now. Give me a Malort. I don't care. Yeah, you would. It's fucking 4 p.m. Why are you just going to kill in Chicago?

I'm just going to do great. Ketchup on a hot dog is great. There's no issue with ketchup on a hot dog. It's fine. The only thing is like... And they'll always come at you with like, it's so bad for... Like it's just sugar.

It's like, you're already eating a fucking hot dog. Like what are you talking about? That's an insane argument. Yeah, Chicago people can't be talking about how it's worse for you. That's insane. Okay, so you're like... Definitely putting ketchup on your dog. What are their condiments?

I love a mustard and I love relish. There were a few like different kinds of... Like I like when a hot dog place has their own relish. That's fun. I think that's fun. I love that shit. And Joey Chestnut, bless his heart, has a vanity mustard line and it's pretty good.

It's like $15 a bottle, but it's pretty good. God bless Chestnut. I'm also like... There is like a world where I was like... Like he hasn't gotten right. You know, I'm never... I don't know Joey's politics. I kind of like it.

I feel like Joey is intentionally vague about his politics. Yeah, sure. Good. Good, don't tell me. Yeah, I don't really want to know. I mean, I think he did Kobayashi dirty, but that's for the 30 for 30. There is a 30 for 30.

Let's hear a tidbit on how he did Kobayashi dirty. Because I know Kobayashi was the king. Kobayashi was the king, and many believe still is. But there's a really good 30 for 30 about it, about how Major League Eating is run by this guy, George Shea, and he's like the guy that comes out. Like have you watched the ESPN broadcast before of the 4th of July? Yeah, he's the guy in like the suit and the straw hat that comes out

and does all the WWE announcements for the guys. Including our... I was going to say friend, not our friend at all, but a guy who we look up to, Badlands Chugs. Yeah, sure. Badman Booker Chugs, right? Is that it? Yeah, he's the greatest.

Yeah, we love Badlands. He's the... I used to watch his YouTube videos in middle school. Again, we feel a little ancient. He's a hero. Touch that dial. Is that what he says? He says don't touch that.

I don't remember. Mouse, maybe? I don't know. He's great. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, George Shea started it. So Kobayashi came over from Japan and popularized competitive eating because he was so good at it.

No, I remember when he burst onto the scene, and it was like Babe Ruth tear of like, this guy is so much better than everyone. It's like, holy shit, I can't believe this guy came out of nowhere and is just like fucking taking 35 hot dogs to the dome or whatever the original record was. I think the record was like around 30, and then Kobayashi came over and immediately ate like 50.

Yes, yes. He was like nuts. Destroyed it, yeah. And so he was like the king uncontested for a while, but George Shea like is racist and did not want a Japanese champion for the hot dog eating contest. So then Joey comes in.

Which is so crazy, by the way, because I feel like people paid attention to that competition after Kobayashi started to win, right? It wouldn't exist with like... It wouldn't be on ESPN, like it wasn't on ESPN before. And he had a lot of American fans too. I feel like it was a huge American fan base, yeah. Yeah, he was like in a like visa commercial or something.

It was wild. Him and the women's competitors are so interesting too. The Black Widow. Love the Black Widow. She is the fucking coolest. The current female champion, this woman, Miki Sudo, she was under house arrest for a while for threatening to blow up a plane

on the anniversary of 9-11. Wow. It's just, there's so much going on, but... And the guy who runs the show is like, I'm fine with her. Let's keep her in the mix. But Joey was sort of like, when Joey came in and like started doing well,

he was kind of pushed as like, we want this guy to be the champion. Sure. And they started fucking with Kobayashi's contract. And it seems like Joey kind of knew exactly what they were doing and didn't say anything. Because, and that's, you know, he's the champion now. And Kobayashi's been out of the game for like,

10 plus years at this point. He had a run where he got like really close. I remember there was one contest where he was like, it was like a half dog difference or something. It was close to a tie, but I think there was also one... But Joey was beating him, right? Joey was beating him. But there was also one where I remember like,

and I don't, maybe this is the same one where he regurgitated, like he like threw up some. He ate his vomit, yeah. Yeah, he ate his own vomit. And then Joey just taunted him with like, I made him eat food that had already been eaten. You're like, where do you get off, Joey Chesnut? Be serious.

Yeah, Joey did start to beat him, but then it was like, I don't know. They could have kept that rivalry alive forever, but instead they just edged Kobayashi out completely. The bummer. Don't like that. Good booking. And there was one where he like stormed the stage, right?

Like he was like... And then got arrested. Got arrested, yeah. Kobayashi did? Kobayashi did. Kobayashi did. Well, because he wasn't in the tournament that time? Or...

I don't remember what the exact circumstances were. I think it maybe was that. Maybe he was in the crash tournament. We need like a new young... Like there needs to be a new young guy. I agree. There needs to be like a new... That whoever the new Kobayashi...

Kobayashi, Joey Chesnut, we need like a new young... I think his name could be Evan Susser. Probably a decade older than Joey Chesnut. We got to talk about this week's chain, but I do have one more hot dog, general hot dog question, which is, Sonic the Adjog's favorite, Chili Dogs. You fuck with a Chili Dog. I do.

It's never going to be my first choice. Interesting. Just because of how it... At least, I mean, it really haunts the body for me. It sticks with me longer than I wanted to. A regular hot dog, I can go all day, not going to have much issues the next day. A Chili Dog, it's just...

If it's the specialty, I'll do it, but it's never going to be my first choice. The thing with a Chili Dog to me is that it just overpowers the... You're just mostly tasting Chili. It's good. It is what it is. Yeah. But I feel like I'm mostly eating Chili more than a hot dog. It can be a Chili delivery system,

but it also just depends on the proportions. I mean, I love Chili Dogs. I think probably my favorite type of hot dog is just a hot dog with mustard, relish, and raw onions. I think that's probably my favorite combo, but a Chili Dog is up there. Good Chili Cheese Dog. Natalie loves Chili Dogs.

But I totally understand. It can absolutely result in some gastrointestinal stress. But you're right. I think what you're both saying, there's just too much Chili on most of them. 100%, yeah. But there's one place I went to, and I think it was in Virginia called Texas Tavern,

which is something that drives me fucking nuts with hot dogs, where it's like all the makes are named after states, but it's never in the state where it's actually happening in. Fucking Coney Dog is the big thing, yeah. Coney Dog is in fucking Ohio. What are you talking about? Texas Red Hots in Maine, it's confusing. But there's a place called Texas Tavern in Virginia,

and they had the perfect Chili to Dog ratio, and it was great. And then there was also a great anecdote where the owner told Mike Pence he was gross once or something. I don't know. Yeah, this place rules. Yeah, I recommend it. It was great.

Wow. I think it's rude to talk to an ex-vice president that way. But still, that's cool. Very whispering of you. You are above this as a nation. Why is your bit like a slow-ass Sonic in a lot of ways? You're like a... What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

You're not fast at all. I'm pretty fast. You're a fucking slow-ass Sonic. You beat you in a fucking foot race. You know what else I'm fast at? Fucking doing my job. What does that mean? I fucking crank shit out.

I believe you can crank shit out. All right. That's probably the only time you're as fast as Sonic. I'm gonna chestnut. Look, we got to talk about two hands, so let's take a break. We'll be right back with more dopies. This show is brought to you by BetterHelp.

You know, Mitch, I learned something new about myself recently. I learned I can stick to a bedtime routine. I can go to the bed at the same time and wake up at the same time every day and stick to that. Because getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process, especially because we're always growing and changing, especially in recent years. That's right, Likes.

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discussing this week's Chain Two Hands, which was founded in 2019 right here in Los Angeles. Now, already Mitch has about 40 locations across the U.S. with hundreds more planned. I interrupted you just to say that. We just took our break. Yeah. And we're, and I'm just going to be,

we were honest with everyone in the room, we're going to be honest with the listener. We're maybe both nervous that we're going to have to like... Take a big shit. Take a big shit. Yeah, because we had a lot of corn dogs just before recording. How much more did you guys have than I did? Probably, honestly, a lot more.

Okay, I was like, I was like, I feel all right, I think, right now. I feel all right too. I'm more worried about the prospect. Mitch is maybe feeling something. I'm feeling it a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, two hands is Korean-style corn dogs,

which they came about in the 1980s in Korea. They're just called hot dogs in South Korea. So if you order a hot dog, that's what you get, one of these big battered... Interesting. ...creations. I would be so fucking pissed if that happens to you. Yeah, I would want a regular hot dog.

So this is just a common place. This is what you get as a corn dog. This is a hot dog. This is what we call a hot dog. So are regular hot dogs on a bun? Just like not that. I don't think they have them there. Or maybe they do, but it's more of like,

here's an American-style hot dog. They've called it something like that. They obviously became a popular Instagram trend in the 2010s, which is what birthed chains like two hands capitalizing on this. And we got this massive order delivered to our Head Gum Studios and ate just beforehand. I have two things to add from Amelia, our associate producer, who put the order in.

I sent a picture and she said, quote, looks like you need two hands to carry all that, which was very clever. Amelia also told us she's never had a corn dog before. That is wild. Isn't it staggering? Really?

Yeah. That seems like it would be hard to do. I feel like you'd have to consciously avoid it. Right. Where did she grow up? Where did Amelia grow up? She grew up in- I know where she went to school.

Isn't it like New York area? I gotta go to the bathroom. Okay, Mitch needs to go to the bathroom. All right, we're going to take another break. We'll be back with more Doughboys. All right, we're back. Let's talk through our order at two hands. I guess the way to-

I just want to say- Yeah. Because it's embarrassing. I want to get out there. I had to take very long piss. It was just another very long piss I had to drink. It was really embarrassing. It's been like 10 to 15 minutes.

Yeah, so it was a super long piss. And you've been hydrating a lot? You were drinking a lot of fluids? You and I have been trying to be healthier. I've been drinking a lot of fluids. Got it. So I was like, you know, I was staying in there. Yeah, I just kind of just saw you

like kind of nursing that Diet Coke is the only thing since you got here. Yeah, I know, weird. Well, I drank a lot of water before. Okay, all right. So I was like, damn. You had to clean out your system before you eat the hot dogs.

Yeah, that makes sense. It makes sense to me. It makes sense. Let me tell you, it was a two-hander in there a while. Two hands full of piss. I forgot that I called it piss. And then when I stepped out of the bathroom, I could smell the hot dogs coming

in from the other room, which was disgusting in many ways. Anyways, we're back. That's the most important thing. We're back and it's not awkward. So the two hands dog is their signature. And that's got a, I guess maybe we should take a step back.

People have seen, I think, the style of corn dog. It's like a big girthy guy. It's like a little bit bigger than a typical. You are using two hands to, and also maybe going a little crazy. We'll go in a little chestnut. It's maybe, look, I'm maybe exaggerating a little bit with my hand motion, but it's pretty,

they're pretty substantial. They're pretty big. They're either big, they're bigger than normal hot dogs. Because you've got an American corn dog for American classic dog, which they have there for contrast. And that one was quite a bit more modest. It looked like you were holding a horse dick

if I had to be honest with you. Yeah, like a softball circumference kind of thing. I remember years ago, one of the first improv classes I took. And there was a scene where one of the guys, just like he was, and he was like, not like a comedy guy, just like a guy in the class. And it was a point where like just whatever, you know how fucking improv goes.

At a certain point, the guy's just like jacking off in the scene. But he was like making such a huge motion. And part of your thought when you're seeing this is like, wait, that's how this person does this in real life. And a friend of mine in the classroom, it's like he's cocking a shotgun. And we just thought like, this guy has the fucking biggest tool in the world.

Most improvisers did it realistically. Yeah. He was like, I'm thinking of getting on a Herald tee. As soon as he touches it. Just a little light pinch between two fingers. That's more accurate. Yeah.

But yes, in every improv scene, it's like, oh dude, everyone does. So the two hands dog is their signature. This is a, it's a big guy and it's got a seasoning on it. And it's got what they call a sweet ranch sauce, which is similar to their Injiomi dog. And I'm probably mispronouncing that. But that one is made with bean powder

and has a sweet sauce on top of it. So we kind of got both. And I had a hard time telling which one was which. Look, they tried to make it easy for us, but you did take the sauces out at one point. I'm not trying to blame you specifically. The sauces were not laid out in a way to identify dogs. The sauces were below each of the dogs.

I don't think that's accurate. It is true. I don't think it's true. Anyway, they also, there's also a classic dog. It turned into chaos though. It did, it did, it devolved into chaos. We got a classic dog, which doesn't have the powder. It is like, these are all kind of,

kind of sweet, kind of savory. We got a spicy dog. That's the Cheeto dust dog. Cheeto powder. Yeah, the Flaminacea powder. A potato dog, which is kind of, you know, dotted with these rivets of potato cubes. And then a crispy rice dog.

Strange dog and dog. Yeah. Crispy rice dog, which is like covered with little, kind of a pinhead dog. Ooh. You know? The rice dog is, you know what, the potato dog. Yeah.

To bring up one of your favorite writers. It's kind of like, in last of us, it kind of looks like, like the fucking infect. Like a Cordyceps virus? It looks like Cordyceps. It looks like a Cordyceps. Cordyceps virus corn dog. It does.

Wow. I think the point of these corn dogs is that they're supposed to look sick. Yeah, I'm right. A little bit. Yeah. Like the pointy, texturey, kind of Instagram dogs. 100%.

The rice one you got and the potato dog, look not even fun sick. They look like, whoa, I haven't seen that before, sick in some ways. I think they photograph better than they present in person. But they definitely are distinct. And they definitely are kind of like, oh, wow, that's a food I want to try that.

And I think that's a huge part of the Instagrammable TikTok, you know, viral food trends. It's just like, oh, wow, that thing looks nuts. What's other like food trend, like trendy kind of food? Because it does feel like the potato one, even though I know that it's a staple of the Korean hot dog culture. But the way that this one was made and presented,

it was like, oh, this was made to be posted. More so than like finished. For sure. And that speaks to kind of my overall assessment of this chain based off this one visit, you know, whatever, it's one meal. But it does feel a little, it does feel very calculated. It does feel very much like we're doing this

because we are hopping on board. It's like all the hot chicken concepts that just popped up, you know? I think that it's the sort of thing of, we've gone to Mr. Pizza, we reviewed Mr. Pizza on here. And I said this when we were eating it. Pizza for women, yeah. And it's a, that's their tagline.

Pizza for women. That wasn't just us saying, that wasn't like our... What? Yeah, that's... Why would they say that? I told them it's marketed. Yeah, I don't understand it. That wasn't our classification of pizza.

That's pizza for women. We don't fucking, who cares about that pizza. We didn't like it, it wasn't for dudes. But I said when we ate there, there were some fun stuff. But there were a lot of tastes that were very foreign to me where things mixed together that I, you know, I am not used to. Sweet shrimp on a pizza is not a flavor or combo I'm used to.

It's a little, it was a little disorienting. And yeah, we're, you're speaking delicately, Mitch. And we tried to talk delicately. We're talking about the foods of other cultures. Sure, of course. Because it's like, we're not trying to say like, it's weird, but it's maybe something that we're not used to. I don't think this is on that same tier.

I don't either. That's, that's even why I brought up that whole thing is because Mr. Pizza was like, some stuff where I was like, this is nearly inedible to me having this bite in my mouth. I don't want to swallow this. And then here there was never anything like that. Like, like I thought, I thought I had some good flavors

throughout the course of this meal. But, but I'm going to say this too. I am maybe, and we talked about this, I'm maybe not like a huge corn dog guy. In fact, I just gave shit to chili dogs. And I think I'd rather have it. I mean, not, I think, I think like, I definitely would rather have a chili dog than a corn dog.

And I like corn dogs a lot. I like corn dogs, but they're like, I don't dislike corn dogs. Sure. But they're on the bottom of my list. And I do think there are some people like, pizza is my personality. There is kind of like a corn dog is my personality thing.

Have you noticed that? It's a little bit like a, really? Who is corn dogs? Yeah, who's saying that? Describe this person. I think there's also like men and women who are like, I'm a corn dog nut. I feel like I've run into it, but I don't know.

Maybe I'm... We just did our friend, Brian and Chris's podcast, guys, where they talk about different types of guy. And I buy that there's a pizza guy, like that's a guy. We talked about hot sauce guys on the, on that episode. I don't know if there's a corn dog guy. Maybe there is. I'm just like having trouble like picturing it.

Yeah, I think you're onto something. I just can't think of the exact traits. Maybe it's also just the fact of like a corn dog is like, I don't know, it feels like a comedy thing or something. I don't know. I think there's definitely a hot dog guy. And I think like, you know, like it's a, our Discord moderator, Fish, who eats hot dogs like every day.

He has like nightly hot dogs. He's like a night cat. He's a hot dog guy. Fish wasn't, he isn't like hot dogs on my personality. Right. He's also like a Fish guy. That's his username. That's a good point.

He's like really into Fish. But I feel like the, I just, maybe a corn dog guy exists. I just... I mean, I can't talk cause hot dogs have been my personality for a year and a half. And I gotta get off the train at some point. I can't before it's published. So committed for a little bit longer.

I don't, yeah. I mean, hot dog guys are definitely a thing. And sometimes they come in a flavor that's fun. And sometimes they come in a flavor that's a guy in Chicago that's yelling at you. Yes. Yeah. And I don't like that.

Yeah. No one needs that. Hot dogs are fun. And I don't, look, I shouldn't say I don't eat them as much as I should because I shouldn't eat more hot dogs. But I don't know. I'm going to not be as happy eating a corn dog as I would be eating a hot dog. Or even a chili dog.

And I got to say Waggs, Sonic Drive-Thru, that big boy hot dog. Yeah. Great hot dog. That big boy chili dog. Yeah. That was good. Had good proportions of chili to hot dog. This, the corn dog, look, I wasn't, I was not having fun.

I'll tell you when I stopped having fun. We had a surprise fucking dessert. Yeah, when fucking Evan Susser showed up. Susser was texting us and was like, I was like, I'll be there soon. Yeah. Because the delivery came and I was, I had, I was almost here. And then Susser was like, yeah, me too. And we're like, we didn't invite you.

We didn't invite you. We didn't order any food for you. And then I said to him like, yeah, we didn't order food for you. There's not, and I was like, you're not getting any of mine. I said this to him like, trying to be mean. But then he kind of got mad at us. He kind of turned on us a little bit over the course of the meal. Well, I think he was angry, Jamie, as you noticed.

It was, it was my first time meeting him. And he, I felt like I was like, did I do something? He did say he was like, he was like, I don't know what I was expecting. And we're like, yeah. That a couple times. Yeah. We don't know what you were expecting either, but. I was going to save this for the fork score because we're talking about it now.

Susser texted me his thoughts just to me. He said, when I knew it had arrived, I had an overwhelming desire to try it. He's talking about us. We were just group texting that the food was there. Kind of disappointing actually trying them, but they're fun. I think I go three forks. Mitch was too mean to me for showing up, so I give him two forks. Wow.

I was mean to him for showing up. You were pretty mad. I just assumed that was your dynamic. But then when he got upset, I was like, maybe it's not. I love Suss. I was giving him a hard time for showing up to eat hot dogs. It's funny. I mean, it was cartoonish that he just showed up to get in on this corn dog order,

which meant him just nibbling at our half-eaten hot dogs. Yeah, we were giving him nubs. It was pretty bad. We were giving him the Mitch ends. But I now feel slightly bad, not really that bad. But here's the deal is I was excited too. I was very excited to try this place. And so I was like, Suss, we got our own thing.

I'm excited to eat this. What are you doing? Because he also grabbed a knife at the beginning of the meal before we even opened the box. He was ready to cut them up into little pieces. Yes. Then once I started tasting stuff, I was like, I guess I shouldn't have cared too much about this at all.

But it was funny that he showed up regardless. What if I would have ordered him lunch? Yeah, he could have gotten in on it. He could have gotten in on it. He wanted to be sneaky. I think that's his one. Don't be sneaky. He wanted to surprise us.

But then by the end, there was one hot dog untouched. And we said, you want it? And he said, yeah, he wouldn't take it. He didn't want it. And no one else took it. He'd had a bite of it earlier, I think. I believe that was one of the two hands dogs. And I got one that was...

So this is the other thing about this place. You pick your dog and then you pick your... And that's what you're ordering there is the coating, like what the battered aspect is going to be. And then as far as the protein that's on a stick, you have your choice of, I believe by default, it's half mozzarella, half beef. I could be wrong about that.

And I think that that's standard across Korean hot dogs. So it's a mozzarella on the top end. And then the bottom end is like the bottom half of a hot dog. I also got mad at you for this. There's also a... We'll talk about this. There's also a... You can get a full beef option.

You can also get a full mozzarella option. And you get a spicy beef option, which we also tried. And not particularly spicy, but we'll get into that. I think the... My big issue with the mozzarella is it just wasn't like, like, ooey gooey, so soft and chewy. I wanted it to be like kind of melted.

And it was kind of a... Just a warm cube in there. We have a little bit of travel. Part of that is travel. But I think part of it is also like, you've really got to be delicate with that fried temperature to get it melted inside and not explode. But I've had a good version of that from hot dog gonna stick.

That's a corn dog with a melted mozzarella. Or they use Jack or American there. But that always works well. Hot dog gonna stick, we did not too long ago. And I do have Fonda... I like hot dog gonna stick a lot. I like hot dog gonna stick rocks. I listened to that episode just to see what the corn dog vibe was.

What do we say? I mean, we won't even remember, Nick and I. Everyone was pro. Everyone went for forks. Yeah. Wow. It was a good experience. Yeah.

It was good. This one, I feel like... I mean, I guess let's just... Jamie, I want to get your thoughts. Your thing at the risk of sounding nationalist, which we don't want to do. No. Right.

But I do think because, I don't know, like this style of hot dog popped up in Korea in the 80s. And so it had already existed, I think in the U.S. for like about 30 years at that point. So it's like the Korean interpretation of the American corn dog. But my main thing with the half and half is like, if that's standard, I do want it flipped. I want hot dog first, cheese second.

100 percent. It's just so long to get to the hot dog. I totally agree. I wouldn't know about this because... There. All right. So here's the thing. Some dogs were absent.

It's fine. It was a big order. Mitch and I ended up sharing one of these dogs. And I didn't realize it. But like... This is like my dog. This is like my dog. I think it's unfair to call it your dog

because we're both missing dogs. This is like the dog I ordered. We were supposed to each have our own spicy dog that didn't happen. It's fine. We shared some dogs that we weren't expecting to share. I took... Because it has a mozzarella on the top half

and the beef on the bottom. I saw... I took a bite. Which I gave you a heads up on. There's sausage on the bottom half. You're too mad about this. And he saw you eating it and I was like, he's gone quite a bit of a way here.

I took a bite and it like... The whole thing of mozzarella came out. That's... Hold on. That's not true. That is true. That was like your third bite. That is true.

I was like third bite but I didn't mean to take all of the mozzarella. And so I got zero mozzarella. But there were other dogs with mozzarella in them. I had a bite with mozzarella but that was my dog. I mean, I don't think you were missing very much honestly on the mozzarella front. But that room was charged.

Yes. There was conflict. There was... I mean, with the Susser Factor, me and Nick fighting. Casey and I were kind of like... I mean, you remember we were in the corner. Yeah. You guys were kind of quietly eating your dogs.

Yeah. While we were like... It's like the cartoon wars on South Park were like... You went into the King of the Hill offices and like... Cartman... Why am I comparing it to South Park? When Family Guy and South Park are fighting. Sure.

That's why it was in my head because we talked about Family Guy earlier. Are they still fighting? I think that they're kind of... They're okay with you. They've quieted down. That's a long time ago. But you guys were quietly enjoying your dogs.

And then there was like... There was energy. Maybe bad energy some people will call it. It was... I mean, I didn't appreciate when Wiger yelled at me, if you don't like it, go stare at the wall. Outside of that, I felt like a comfortable distance from the conflict.

Right. That's... You know, he does that to a lot of kids. Yeah, that's a... That was my next question. Yeah, he does that to almost every guest. Yeah. Okay.

I did feel more closer to you guys after it happened. I want to get your thoughts, J.B., because... You're a hot dog pro. Yeah, you're a hot dog pro. I just snored it. You spent a lot of time with this on this topic. Did you hear that? I snored it.

I didn't hear it. Maybe you got picked up on Mike. I don't know. Did that get picked up, Casey? Yeah, I heard it. All right, great. Casey, what did you think of your hot dog? I thought it was pretty good.

I got the classic Korean dog, and it was different from the American classic, because there was more crispy crunchies on the outside. Yes. Like I said before, I like a corn dog. Yeah. Casey, you know what? It's a nice little treat.

That was maybe my bite of the night. Is that Korean corn dog? I think the classic version is the best. That's the best iteration of it. I think these other ones have too much going on. You made an observation, Jamie, when we were talking of one of these, the crispy rice dog had like one thing too many.

Oonga Pachka is what one might say, because it's just got a lot going on. But yeah, the classic dog, I think it's either panko breadcrumbs or rice flour to kind of crisp it up on the outside, and it does a lot texturally. And that's really all you need, and I think that was definitely my favorite bite.

Jamie, about the dogs you had, what were your picks and pans? I think the two-hand dog was my favorite of them, because I think if the sauces were right, that one is a little sweeter on the outside, and then you get that cummy little sauce, and that's also a little sweet and a little tangy. We should say that we loved the cummy sauce.

The cummy sauce was good. Everyone loved the cummy little sauce. I loved the cummy little sauce, and it's like, yeah, I thought that that was great, and I dipped some fries in it afterwards too. I kept going. So I think I agree with you. That was my favorite.

The potato dog I was most excited for, and then I was like, oh, I fell for aesthetics. I'm a fucking loser, because it is just too much. And with those, I don't know how it affects the architecture of the corn dog, but with the ones with potatoes, I'm like, just have a thinner, like, you know. Yeah, thinner, crispier potato.

Yeah, because then the hot dog just gets lost, and then it's like the sauce. I liked all of the sauces, I think. Like, they had like dirty sauce and spicy sauce. The spicy sauce tasted a little medicinal to me. I don't know if anyone else felt that way. Did you like the spicy sauce? Yeah, I liked the spicy dog more without the sauce on it,

was my opinion. I did like it more without the sauce. I just think that none of it had enough heat. It was all pretty mild. It was a little chemically, though. A little chemically, yeah. I thought it was interesting that the cummy sauce was not lamevolts, but the other two were.

They had special stickers. Well, it's just, Alec, it's just cum. They're not supposed to put cum on it. But I wanted to be like, have you ever bought something from, oh, what's that store with all the soaps? Lush? Lush, yeah, Lush, where there's a sticker that says-

What a fool. How did you know? Casey, instantly. I've been to a mall before. Wow. At 24. Very funny that Weigher and I, yeah. But when you buy something at Lush,

there's a sticker with a picture of someone, and it's like, this person made it, and they should do that for the cum sauce. This Doughboyz fan made this. I like that Weigher and I didn't know a single soap store. I was trying to think of like bed bath. What's about Bath and Body Works is the one I was thinking of. Bath and Body Works, okay, yeah.

I think that's maybe it. The cum sauce was the boss sauce. The boss sauce was the cum sauce. That was good. The potato one I struggled with, I didn't dislike the potatoes. I just was like too much, too many layers, and then the hot dog just got lost.

And I did like the crispy one too, but it was- I liked the crispy one. It was good. It made my mouth a little dry. It was a dry bite. It was a dry bite. You ordered one, and then Weigher and I kind of we mangled your leftovers.

But I liked the flavor that was there. It was just such a dry bite, especially if you didn't- Get to that hot dog at first. You were like, you're really just like eating, like you said, like corn stars. Yeah, shockingly, shockingly dry guy. But I kind of liked that taste. The texture was good.

It was just too dry. I feel like you have to dip that one. You can put like extra cum on that one to make it palatable. You really gotta, yeah, you gotta soup that one up. Yeah, the potato ones looked the most like cordyceps, and I thought the texture was- It just didn't work for me the way I wanted it to work, because I was excited to have like potato and hot dogs.

It's like french fries and a hot dog. Yes. That's what it should- That's what you should be tasting in that bite, right? It's like a little bit of french fries, a little bit of hot dog. It kind of tasted like shoving a whole piece of bread into your mouth, and then just like waiting, and then like going back. I don't know.

But I did like, I mean, I think like, if the goal is for it to be aesthetically really cool, it looks so cool. The potato one especially, you're like, that looks like a sci-fi disease. It does. It looks so weird. Yeah.

It's cool. It is weird and kind of cool looking. Yeah. It is a little bit like the thing. It's strange, and I wish it tasted better. Maybe there is a world where it is crispy, but I don't know. It seems like those potatoes are usually pretty thick and not crispy.

Well, okay, here's the thing. And I'm going back to me saying this place seems a little craven, a little calculated, and I think that ties into its, it's just like hyper rapid expansion. This was founded four years ago, endured the, you know, pandemic, which was devastating for chain restaurants by and large, except for those that focused on delivery.

Great for hot dogs, weirdly. Interesting. I think hot dog consumption went up like 300% in 2020 or something. That makes sense, because it makes starbecuing and stuff at home. Something like that, yeah. And also just when people are like depressed and alone, they just want to eat garbage because it's sure, it's I mean, I fucking do that.

My first trip like out of to see friends when the pandemic started was to go to Mookie's on the 4th of July, which is so crazy because it was March, April, June, July. So four months of, and then that was like outside eating hot dogs or whatever. No, weird. Four months of isolation. Well, weird, like collective trauma we all endure.

It's going to be really good forever. That was just the first time going outside and eating a hot dog. Had a Costco hot dog that he had, he had some Costco hot dogs. Costco hot dog for the 4th of July. Wait, can we do a tangent on Costco hot dogs? Do you like a Costco hot dog? No, no, no, no. We don't have time.

Oh, I love a Costco hot dog. Do you? Yeah. It's so good. It's so good. I think the myth around them is ridiculous bullshit, but I think the Costco hot dog itself is amazing. Yes, very satisfying dog.

Here's a huge question for you. And this is big for, my mom had a big issue this while, is when I bought Costco hot dogs. Are you an all beef rank type of person? Or do you like, is it, what's the mix? It's like pork and something. Usually pork and beef is pork, beef and chicken, I think.

Yeah. I mean, I'm an all beef person, but like the ketchup, I don't care if people prefer something different. I go all beef usually. But a pork, or all pork is good too. Yeah, the mixed one, the mixed one was really popular in DC. There's a special name for it in DC. But I think I like the pork mix more.

I don't know if that's the, if I don't know if it's a New England thing or the way I'm surprised. I don't remember where, because I grew up in Brockton, and we, but we ate like, yeah, reveal, but we ate, I don't know what, like they're, we ate like dog meat or something. I don't know what we were eating. Yeah, I don't know what is more common in New England, if it is beef or, I mean, it might be what nationwide is the same thing.

I don't know. But I had, I had some hot dogs. This one, I think this is during pandemic. Yeah. I had hot dogs, because yes, because we reviewed Costco while I was back in Quincy during pandemic. Which I think their dogs are all beef. Their dogs are all beef.

And so you got into a scuffle with Mrs. Mitchell about this? My mom was like, I don't like all beef franks, and she likes the pork mix ones. Wow. And then I had the pork mix ones, and I did think that that was, they were a little bit tastier. You were converted. I, and I guess that, I mean, no, I mean, I think that maybe it was my always, whereas what my stance was, I just didn't know.

Because I don't really know when I eat a hot dog. I mean, here's another thing for me. I had so many boiled hot dogs growing up. Yes, yeah, I grew up on boiled. Me too, yeah. I don't need a super, because some people like a snappy skin. Oh, I like the snap. I don't need the snappy skin as much as people want the snappy skin.

Give me that snap. I don't need it, but once I had it, it was like, well, I'm never gonna, if given the option, I'll always take the snap. But yeah, I grew up on like boiled CVS hot dogs and loved every second of it. But once I, I don't know, I think it's like a West Coast thing too, where everyone I've talked to that grew up in Southern California, like they grilled hot dogs always. It was not a boiled culture.

Well, I grew up in Southern California, and we were, if we were having indoor dogs, those were getting boiled or steamed. Outdoors on the grill was another story. Like if we're doing it, like my dad was using like the barbecue. But Natalie actually introduced me to when she made hot dogs, and she just fried them in a pan. Oh yeah. And I was like, that was revelatory.

Yeah, we would have those. I mean, I would. Because that gives it a nice texture. That gives it that snap. And that's how I always prefer hot dogs now. I probably had like from grill and boiled and pan, probably almost close to equally. I'm just saying that boiled was like an ocean there.

Boiled was also such a big part of it too. Right. Boiled was such a big part of it too. I'm going to do the real UCB Improvership. Yeah, that's the one hand. Yeah, the one hand. Yeah. And then soul.

Oh, I've never, don't worry. It's never been a two hand for me, besides today. But I don't need it snappy. I love a good beer boiled hot dog. Yeah. That's right. For a long time, when I was first out here, this was like my lunch wives, when I was trying to eat healthy.

Yeah. But I would do a turkey hot dog, boiled and beer, and then a wheat bun. And I actually kind of liked it. That's fun. Turkey hot dogs can be good. Turkey hot dogs can be good. But a beer boiled hot dog, put some Bud Light in a pot,

a couple cans of Bud Light, boil up some hot dogs till they're, till they look like they're going to explode. Oh, beer boiled hot dogs are fucking delicious. Yeah. I liked, there's this place in New Jersey that it always wins like the top hot dog accolade. It's on the side of the highway, and it looks like you, somewhere you'd go after you like killed somebody,

which is how you know it's good. But they're like, they do, they deep fry hot dogs. Oh, yes. And those are. The ripper. Yes, they're, yeah, like those, those are great. Those are fucking awesome. I like that one of each, and the, the ripper is great.

I forget what the one where they just like, let it turn into a skeleton, but. Wow. They used to do this like performative thing where you had to like sign a Sea Org contract to be like, if this hot dog kills you. You can't do anything. I don't know.

But those, I like, that was like the best snap I ever had was like a slightly fried hot dog snap. There's a person in receipt of California called Fab Hot Dogs real quick that has a, they do, they do their version of a ripper. That's always introduced to me. And it's, it's fucking great. Yeah.

I want to say that I, I don't dislike a snappy. I think when things are like super snappy, I'm like, I don't need it to be like, I think of like pinks. And I think pinks can be like really snappy. And also we've talked about pinks before. Whatever. Not big, not big pinks people. I hate pinks.

Yeah. We really didn't like pinks. I don't want like a soft hog going in there and like, Sure. Like just like, I don't need that either. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like,

No, you don't want like the, you don't want to be too flaccid. I don't like it to have, I really like to have, to have some texture to it. Um, I'll like, again, the hot, the, the, the Costco dogs, I believe are steamed and I still like that approach. I'll make room for that in my hot dog diet. But when it comes, but if I have a preference, yeah, well, I want them grilled or I want them fried in a pan.

Is the hot dog the king of the Costco concession? Well, your other option, this is part of the thing. They, they've, they've paired down their snack bar so much. Like they, they, the chicken bake was discontinued and then brought back, but it's like kind of like a less good version of it. It's like, it's like not at the same level. They got rid of the Caesar salad, which whatever, small loss, but still it's like, it talks to them stream on their menus.

Even with the hot dogs, they don't have the onions anymore, which was, was so huge for me. And then, yeah, I mean, they discontinued the Polish years ago. That predates the pandemic. They got rid of combo pizza. They just have cheese and pepperoni now. And that's like a pretty big blow. I think they streamlined some of their drinks.

I don't know. All that said, I think the hot dog is the best, the best thing there. Yeah. Hot dog or, or cheese pizza. I didn't expect your dissertation on the whole fucking thing, but you know what? I appreciate it. Yeah.

I learned, I didn't know that the chicken bake changed. That's sad to hear. I actually haven't had it since it's been brought back. I've just been reading other people's testimonials. They're just kind of saying, you know, because cause people like are very fanatical about Costco. And a lot of people have been just saying like, it's not the same.

They kind of, you know, who knows if that's actually true, but that seems to be the, the perception. Back to two hands. Okay. I think they've just got. We got to review this fucking place. I think they've just, I think they, I think part of the issue is, I don't have like a good baseline for the style of corn dog.

I like, when this became a big thing and started blowing up in, in LA and, and, and in the States at large, like that was an era when I was like, like not eating meat. And, you know, I wasn't actively seeking this out. And so now that it's kind of like on the scene. Yeah. Me and the meat boys weren't fucking standing on the corners

being like, you hear about two hands. I didn't, I never heard about this until we did it. I'm not even talking about two hands. I'm talking about these, these, these kind of corn dogs in general. Sure. So like, I'm, this is like my initiation into this trend that I mostly know from social media. So we don't have a baseline of like,

Hey, this is what an authentic one is supposed to taste like. So I don't know how much this is. This is an accurate representation of the style of, of hot dog and how much of it is just what I suspect to have happened is that two hands aggressively over expanded and their quality control has declined a little bit as they've done. So that's like every other fucking restaurant we've ever. Right.

And this is, you know, the original location we ordered from, but I think it's maybe not what it should be in terms of execution. I wasn't able to find any information on like who started it either. That's the other thing. So they're so fucking cryptic about their origins, which makes me think it was like, it just, just like two Americans who don't actually have, I, whatever, I'm totally speculating, but don't actually have any connection to this.

And we're just like cashing in on the Instagram trend. I don't fucking know. Yeah. It feels like if they had any authentic connection to Korean hot dogs, they would have said so. I don't know. That was, that's just my like suspicion about it. I've been to one other Korean hot dog place and I liked it much better,

which is why I was like kind of surprised that, but there's, I think it's a chain Chungcheon hot dog. And there's at least a couple of them. And I got, I got one there about a year ago and it was really good. And like you got to watch people make it and that was cool. But I don't know. Yeah. Something, something was just like a little bit off about two hand,

but I don't know exactly what it was. The, the, the sides we can touch on. First off, the fruit punch slush I got was just tasted like fruit punch. It was nothing notable. You got the same thing, right, Mitch? I did, yes. I'm trying to look up our actual full order. We also got dirty fries, kimchi seasoning fries and alote.

I like an alote. And I think this was the worst version of it I've had. You had a physical, an immediate response to the alote. I really didn't want to eat it because I didn't want to share a corn cob with anybody. And then Mitch insisted I had a bite, which is fine. I had a bite of it. And I was like, Oh God. And then I was like, you got to try this.

And then like, like Malort, when my, at first taste, I was like, you know what? This isn't as bad as you built it up to be. And then the aftertaste was just putrid. The aftertaste is really, really, really bad. I have the full order. Do you want me to read it out for, for, for, I don't know if it's accurate, but I'm just going to quickly. All right, sure.

All right. All right. Okay. I mean, if I don't let you do it, you're going to be mad. Yeah, do it. True. So two hands, a soul, fresh corn dogs, Koreatown location. Jamie, you got the mega star set, two hands dog, half sausage, half mozzarella,

a crispy rice dog, all beef, a classic dog, all beef, spicy dog, half sausage, half mozzarella, potato dog, half sausage, half mozzarella. And then I don't know how to say this one wise that each, how do you say it again? I don't know. I'm guessing the way it's spelled out. Injeolmi dog. Injeolmi dog, all beef. Okay. So you got the classic Korean dog, all beef.

Weigar, you got the Injeolmi dog, mozzarella, dirty fries to share, fruit punch slush, kimchi fries to share. I did not know those were kimchi fries. The kimchi was very subtle. Till just now. Yeah. And, and the, and similarly the- I like those fries too.

Yeah. Yeah, they were pretty good. They weren't bad. They weren't bad. They were pretty good. Some, a little bit of travel on those and the, and the, and the, well, I guess the kimchi fry, one of them are tots, right? The dirty fries were just, were, were just basically cheetos, spicy,

flaming hot cheetos, dusted tots. Yeah. Yeah. I got the combo set. Two hands dog, half sausage, half mozzarella, spicy dog, spicy beef sausage to split with Weig's, potato dog, half beef, half cheese to split with Weig's. He took the cheese. Oh no, that's actually, that he took it from the two hands dog.

And then a fruit punch slush. And then I also threw on the American classic dog, 100% beef sausage at the end of the elote. The American classic dog, which had ketchup and mustard packets to put on there, was decent. It wasn't great, but it was like, it wasn't the best corn dog I ever had. But, but again, I think the winner was that, the, the classic Korean dog that, which I think is the two hands dog, right?

Yeah. I think if you're going, this is your gonna, the basis of your entire fucking concept. It's got it like that American dog you got, should have at least been like a hot dog on a stick tier. That should at least have been like, you know what? This is a place that does corn dogs. This is a place you're gonna, you actually spend a good amount of money if you're gonna get some corn dogs.

Cause these are all like, you know, gram-worthy, very presentable, a little bit, you know, there's a little bit of a premium on these. Then that should be a fucking great corn dog. It shouldn't just be like, oh, it's pretty good, you know, you know, I don't know. No, you're right. My, my, my standards are maybe two, my expectations are maybe too high. But I just feel like this, this concept is one fucking thing. I also thought it was weird that like, I don't know, the, the two-hand stock was the

best one and like one of the less aesthetically pleasing ones is kind of pale and it came with the cum sauce, but it was the best one. And I was like, maybe you just, I don't know. I, I feeling just, I'm like, maybe you cannot have both. You cannot have like a gram-worthy, uh, you know, corn dog that doesn't like leave something to be desired. I don't know. I hope I'm wrong.

You know what, maybe I'm going to get a little nationalist here. Wow. You knew that. You knew this phrase was coming for a while. Play something patriotic here, Casey and Emma, a little, uh, that song, that patriotic song. Okay, okay, start just first forever, sure. Sure, that one.

Yeah, the one that I'm so patriotic, I remember the name of it. So, maybe America is top dog when it comes to hot dogs, wise. What do you think about that? Maybe we got it down. USA. I do think there's one thing we could learn from this style and this particular execution, which is, uh, cum sauce. We could, we could try some cum sauce.

We could try some more cum sauce. Bottle the cum sauce. Let me know who it's coming from. It looks more American than tossing a little cum sauce, tossing some cum into the fucking scenario. Yeah. No, I think that this is an unfair shake at Korean corn dogs. And I think that I now have to try a place that does a good,

does a better job. Or maybe, I don't know, maybe, you know, this place, maybe just had a bad outing. I don't know. That's the other thing. It's like, it's, it's, it could be a bad outing. It was delivery, which is always going to be, you know, I feel like it's going to lose a half fork in transit.

So. I'm going to say, you know, I kind of gave my final thoughts right there, but I'm going to, uh, and obviously I, I think that Korean corn dogs are probably great and can be great. Today's experience is not great. Uh, but it also wasn't bad. Yeah.

And I'm going to try to make amends with our good friend, the commissioner. Okay. I'm going to go, I'm going to join the handhold and club with him. I'm going to say, we're not to our fork scores yet. I just told you, I was wrapping up. We just, we take the new format as we take the break

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It's time for our fork scores on two hands, corn dogs. Jamie, you've heard the podcast, but just a refresher. We'll each go around. Give our final thoughts, a closing argument if you will, and then end that by giving a score from zero to five forks. Jamie, you're our guest, we'll begin with you. Okay. I guess I have one comparison for Korean hot dog.

Never in Korea, so maybe it is been translated back to the U.S. in a weird way, but I've been to Chungcheon hot dogs before. Definitely feel like I had a more positive experience there than two hands, but I don't know. I feel like maybe I came down a little hard on two hands. I felt more guilty as we were continuing because maybe it's just not for me.

I don't know. The people who love going to two hands seem to really love it. It seems to always be busy. I do wonder if it's the sort of thing where in a couple of years people were like, what was that all about? What was that for? And though it would just be another very aesthetically pleasing

food that people will move on to, but the two hand hot dog, pretty undeniable. I would recommend that to anybody. The cum sauce, they should produce it by the gallon. We all liked the little mascots, the brothers. The mascots are great. And hot dog mascots, one that isn't actively kind of revolting, is really hard to come by.

They didn't give them the Mickey Mouse hands. I fucking hate when they do that. That was good for me. I kind of naturally have them. They just need to be honest. So I don't know. I guess all things considered, it would have been genuinely a hire for me

if the hot dog was on top and the mozzarella was on bottom. That drove me absolutely up a wall. I wish that the batter was thinner, but I like that they are doing it. I don't know. Yeah. And I'd be interested to try an authentic Korean hot dog someday, like right off the damn street.

But for now, today, I'm going to go, I think, a gentle three forks. Gentle three forks. And Mitch, your forks, girl, which we have yet to hear. We have yet to hear it. Start off that patriotic music again, please. I kind of covered a lot of this. Look, I didn't even realize this was a trend. I know this was a trend online.

We were just talking about this while you were out of the room, that this is like, I don't know food trends online. We should probably be more plugged into them. Like the KFC double down is back. We probably won't even eat it. We're bad at our jobs. I don't mean to get that because you get the fucking deal. Is patriotic music still playing over this?

I guess, I guess so. Open beta. You said you're bad at your jobs. We're bad at our jobs. Very American thing. Yeah, sure. That's just the Maverick tendencies. Yes, we are kind of like Mavericks.

We're a little bit, yeah, top gun Maverick-y in our own way. And look, like I said, there's probably a much better version of this. Like we're kind of all saying there's a much better version of it that I haven't tried. Right. And to make amends with Susser who said when he was leaving, I don't think I knew what I was expecting when I came here to do this. And we were like, yeah, what were you expecting?

What was this? I don't know what I was expecting either. I think I was expecting kind of a little bit more fun, a little bit more tasty, and I didn't really get that, but I've yet to try the real version of it. And it was, but it wasn't terrible. So for now, I'm going three forks. So we're handholding club, three forks all around so far.

I think wigs might go lower. Well, look, it would be synergistic to say two hands, two forks for each hand, two forks. But I don't actually believe that in my heart. I think this place was disappointing, but it was still pretty fun. I think the presentation and the spectacle is part of what's engaging about it. And I think they do lay that on thick. And I think that's to its credit.

I totally agree with Jamie and meant to mention earlier that the mascots are such little cutie pies. They're little corn dogs with smiles. They're having fun. They're not afraid of being eaten, as is sometimes the case with hot dog mascots. And that was before we went there though. They're probably terrified now.

Yeah, normally they look really tall. The website is updated. The Wieners Peninsula dog is usually just like completely relaxed. I think I'm going to be in the handholding club with the two of you. And Suss. And Susser. I believe this is like the definition of a three fork chain. This is trying to do Korean style corn dogs

and is executing them basically competently. It would be nice if it had that little extra juice to make it be like, man, not only do I want to try this place once, I want to go back to this place, but I didn't really get that sense of it. I don't really want to go back. The corn dog should be on a toilet. I think I think that's a better representation.

Oh, that'd be fun. Like he's shitting? He's shitting. Got it. Yeah. I mean, his shit doesn't have to be shit. It could be, I don't know. I don't know what a corn dog should be.

Is he like in the toilet? A little pellets of corn? A little pellets of corn. That's probably what it would be, yeah. Yeah. But is he like in the toilet like a straw? Or is he sitting on the toilet? That is a great, that honestly is a really good question.

I think he has to be like sitting on the toilet somehow. So you need to at least give him legs, and then it becomes weird if he doesn't also have arms. Can you just bend him? Can you just kind of bend him on the toilet? Yeah, I guess so. And the stick is kind of like wedged against the floor. Oh, the stick's like more of an anchor kind of thing.

Part of the stick comes out. Is that? I guess it's a part of his body. It's like if you, it's like saying a human would shit out a skeleton, I guess, in some way. Oh yeah, it's like I take back the corn thing because it's not like we shit out flesh, our own flesh.

That would be bad. You don't show flesh or skin. I would be open to seeing a few drafts of this. Yeah, there's multiple things the shit could be, but I think he should be on a toilet. Yeah, it's a good note. We'll see if they listen to it. But yeah, that was our review of two hands.

It's time for a segment. I've got a mystery beverage, and Mitch and Jamie must guess what it is. Wow. It's the Weigar Challenge. So I'm gonna hand, I've got the Weigar Challenge pre-pored, and I'm gonna hand this over to you.

Okay. Are we allowed to describe it? Please do. Please, please, for our audio listeners. An unhealthy shade of piss. A dark storm. Brings a darker shade of piss. Deeply, this is actually like.

It smells like tea. It smells tea-ish. It's carb, it feels lightly carbonated. Okay, so I'm surprised you didn't spill the tea, just handing the cups over to us. I niftily filled two glasses and carried them into the studio and then handed them the two of you.

Can I drink it? Oh, I know what it is. Mitch thinks he knows what it is. I know what it is already. But I didn't spill it all. Jamie's taking a sip. I know what it is. Both of you winced.

Because you think you're getting something, you know what? It's kind of like today. You think you're getting something better than you get. Wow. This is, are you ready for my guess? Should I just go for it? Yeah.

This is a spin drift lemon tea. Jamie, do you want to guess? Oh, I mean, that is a really, I don't like it. It is kind of spin drift style carbonation. I guess I'll go lower and I'll say it's an Arizona. I don't know, like an unsweetened Arizona. The king stay the king.

It's hard to best the spoon man in the Weiger challenge. Mitch, this is spin drift tea with lemon. Instantaneous. Yeah. Well done. Good palette on. Good palette on you. Can I just say this?

They also, we have spin drifts here. It was slightly easier for me to guess. You just went to grab it. Well, this is part of the issue. So I went to go, I went to go buy something for the Weiger challenge and I had this weird interaction. I'm holding this up now. Yes, I did get this from the head of gum fridge.

But I was trying to get like this Fego flavor and I was asking, like I'd seen it around and I didn't know if they had it at the store and I asked this guy, like, I guess to get the 7-Eleven like, Hey, do you have this Fego flavor? And he was like, Oh, I don't like, what are you, like he didn't understand what I was saying. And he's like, he's like, you need that one. I was like, yeah, it's, and I don't know why I say this.

It's embarrassing. But I was like, yeah, it's for the Weiger challenge. And he's like, and he goes, like, what? And I had, I was like, fuck. And I was like, I do a podcast. I have this segment called the Weiger challenge. And I'm, that's, I'm Weiger. That's my name.

Oh, so you didn't say that. That was why it was. Yeah. And the guy's like, like, he's just so confused. And so I like, I don't want to maintain it. Your name is Weiger? I was like, okay, that's Estonian. That's my last name.

And he goes, well, what's your full legal name? And I tell the guy, well, my full legal name is Nicholas Frankweiger. And sometimes I go by Frank, which means it's time for this week in Hot Dog News and another edition of Let Me Be Frank. Wow. Whoa.

What a curveball. That was exciting. Hot dog simmer in the city, great on my grill, getting greasy and gritty. Toast bun, don't it look pretty, sucking on a dog like you're sucking on a titty. Pork and beef, sausages and long bread, rolling on a roller grill, mustard and relish.

One bite, it's a different world. Swap dog bites with a girl, munch on, munch on and chomp all night. Despite the farts, it'll be all right, that taste. When the casing has snapped, later that day, you'll for sure have to nap as it simmers in the city, like you're sucking on a titty. You ain't nothing but a hot dog.

Crying all the time. You ain't nothing but a hot dog. Crying all the time. Well, you ain't never been a burger and you ain't no lunch of mine. Well, they said you a sandwich. Well, that was just a lie. Yeah, they said you a sandwich.

Well, that was just a lie. You're just a bun around a wiener, so you sure don't qualify. Oh, this is great. So close, no matter how far. Couldn't be hot dogs that are charmed. Forever munching on wieners. And corn dogs are battered.

Never open my mouth this way. Bite is ours. We eat it our way. All these links I don't just taste. And corn dogs are battered. Trust I beef and I bite and spew. Every prank for us something new. Open mouth for a hot dog chew.

And corn dogs are battered. Never cared for what they chew. Never cared for what they do. But I do. Oh, standing ovation. That was beautiful. I've been around this block twice looking for something. A Frank.

I've been looking for Frank since something led me back here. Yeah, so here I am. Could have been me who was at Nathan's famous when the deep fry went down. Hey, I know how it goes because I've been there. We've all eaten bad meals. We'll have these fatty deposits in our hearts. We want to take your guts out of your stomach

and wash them and scrub them and make them clean. Well, no, but I'm going to help you settle this. First, we're going to check for grills. See what we can find. Then we're going to get nice and hot. So you're going to spread your mustard. That's good. So you know me.

You know my reputation. Thirteen inches is a tough sausage. I don't treat you gently. That's right. I'm hot dog diggler. I'm hot doggler. So I'm going to be nice. I'm going to ask you one more time.

Where the fuck is Nathan's famous? I'm a Frank. I'm a Frank. I'm a Frank. I'm a Frank. I'm a Frank. I'm a Frank. I'm a big, hot, juicy Frank.

I wish I had a hot dog here to pull out. Oh, yeah. It would have been good. That little snap. Ooh. Yeah. Big fucking 13-inch hot dog. Fuck, we should have done that.

We should have done that. We got it with the video. Wags, what a, wow, what a showstopper. Wow. That was, I genuinely, I got butterflies when it switched to hound dog. That there was another song. Oh, yes.

That was really exciting. God bless you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Why did you also wrote this week's, you, we, you said that, you said last night, you know what, when you said earlier like Sonic and you're quick with your work, you are. Yeah.

Because last night you were like, we should do a Let Me Be Frank, huh? And I was like. We're doing a hot dog episode. Yeah. I was like, I don't know. I don't know. Whatever you fucking say, boss.

And then you were like, I'll do the, I'll write the piece. The little, yeah. The monologue. And you, like, how about, how about a Boogie Nights? And I was like, sure. And then you sent it back within like 10 minutes. That's pretty easy. So it's just kind of a finer replacement.

Sure, it's finer. All right. But you did it within 10 minutes and it's funny. Oh, God bless you. And also you went the longest you ever did because it was Metallica is my guess. Yeah. I didn't know I didn't want to just do part of the verse.

So does that count as a Weigar challenge for me or no? Yeah. That's still a Weigar challenge one. That's about, we were doing a second segment. So this is very exciting for, in terms of let me be frank, Jamie, what we usually do here is at Mitch Google's hot dog news. And we use that as a baseline for what's trending in dogs. We almost have no time now, but.

We almost have no time, but we're going to do it. This is what happens. This is, this is also what's exciting. And also I think we can take our headphones off now. Oh, okay. For heat. It's so hot. For heat reasons.

Why does it make it so much hotter to be wearing headphones? I don't know. I don't understand that. It is too hot with the headphones. Yes. I almost took them off from my monologue. I probably wouldn't have fucking fucked up. You did a great job with that monologue.

That was beautiful. That was great. I did a little marking mark. I did a little marking mark. That was great. That was a beautiful trivia to an amazing man. Yes. We love him.

Okay. So Mitch is going to Google hot dogs. And you're going to bing it. Yeah. This is the thing. And this is, this is an exciting development. Okay. I am on the beta test for the Bing Chat AI.

So we can integrate that. Now, Jamie, I'll let you decide. I can choose my conversation style. I can do more creative, more balanced, or more precise. I want to do more creative. Okay. Let's go more creative. And Mitch, have you Googled hot dogs?

And what are you seeing? Man, I'm seeing some, well, first of all, I saw some corn dog news. Sonic offering 99 cent corn dogs for today only. Okay. Here's how to take advantage. So this doesn't, this doesn't matter to anyone. But apparently today, Sonic had 99 cent corn dogs.

Wow. Some, Rosie's hot dogs and Greer closes. Pete's hot dogs serves up its last lunches, as customers say, thank you. Oh, no. So many of these, so many of these, so much of this is just sad hot dog news. As customers say, restaurant serves family for 85 years.

Let's see where this is. Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. My friend Eddie Kinkel got married, I believe. Kinkel likes. And then New York's hot dog king has held court outside the Met. What? Uh, the Met Museum for years.

Now fans are rallying to stop the city from ejecting them. This is all bad hot dog news. Yeah, that's a bummer. All this news is bad. That's very dark. That's such a thing. That's part of why I hate pink so much, is because they are like really invested

in trying to get street vendors like away from them. Right, that's a bummer. And they started as street vendors. Fucking losers. That's evil. Dan Rossi, the man known as the New York hot dog king, has operated a food cart in front of Metropolitan Museum of Art for more than a decade.

And now he's finally keeping signature spot and he's calling on you to help. Jamie, you know what? Maybe we can get people to sign this petition. And a new petition which was launched by his daughter, the 73-year-old disabled veteran, says that he's facing repeated hectoring from health department officials

and now risks loosening his coveted spot in front of the Met's famous steps. Oh, yeah, we gotta help this guy out. How does fucking veteran... Yeah, it's disabled veteran. It's disabled veteran. Yeah. Yeah, he's put, he's served in the armed forces.

Now they're fucking trying to boot him out of his spot. Then it's fucked up, wigs. In a functional... Yeah. Put on my patriotic music. That's not how you treat people in the United States, wigs. It's fucked up. It's in a functional society, he would not have to work at all.

But like just... I mean, also very fair. But also that he's taken the initiative to do this. Yeah, we absolutely should not be ejecting it. Jamie, you brought up something a second ago that I want to return to and I apologize for being on my phone during this segment. But you said that...

You were talking about street vendors. And I think when I think of LA hot dogs, more so, like way more so than pinks, the thing I think of as iconic is the LA street dog, which you'll find at cart vendors. Yeah, the danger dogs. Yeah. Are you a fan?

I love danger dogs. They're the best. Danger dogs and Sonoran dogs. Like all Southwestern hot dogs are fucking amazing. Yeah, danger dogs rock. Sonoran dog, you might have a better sense of the components, but it does have like, I loose beans on it, I remember. There are beans, yeah.

And my favorite component of the Sonoran dog is they have like an awesome bun. They have like a bun that is not open. Like it's sealed on each end, so it's like a little hot dog bed. Oh, yes, yeah. It's so nice. And they grill it perfectly.

There's something, there's like a mystery ingredient that I've never been able to figure out what the fuck it is called, Winnie on a Sonoran dog. I don't know what it was, but I went to this amazing place in Arizona and like that was half car wash, half hot dog place. And the guy was like,

it's Winnie, Winnie's the guy. And I was like, what is that? And he's like, couldn't really tell me what it was, but I would take that in a jar just like the cum sauce. Yeah, 100%. Okay, so. Here, I want you to read this paragraph to see if a.

Let us do the research for you. No, no, I want you to read it to yourself quickly. I can't, sorry, it's too small. Read that one paragraph. I'm just, I'm just making sure that we're promoting a good guy. Oh no. I think it is, I can't tell. I'll read this a lab.

Okay. People ask me how I became known as the hot dog guy who sleeps in my van to guard my hot dog cart in front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, but they don't know me and how I got to this point. Rossi said in a statement about his book in 2022. What Trump and Giuliani are doing to this country is exactly what they did to me.

I think he is blaming Trump and Giuliani for his current situation. That's what it sounds like. As a Manhattanite who's struggling. Got it. I think that's what's going on. And look, he's a disabled veteran no matter what. So, you know, I don't know what the deal is here, but but I just wanted to make sure.

The syntax of that was weird. It was a little weird. Okay, so I went ahead and used being AI. I said, get creative and they just replied, let's get creative. Do you have a topic in mind or should we wing it? I replied, what's the latest hot dog news? The reply was, sure, I can help you with that.

Here are some of the latest hot dog stories about hot dogs. But then it gives me Joey Chestnut winning the July 4th contest, which is last year. It does mention the Pete's Hot Dogs closing in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. It does mention Dan Rossi, the veteran outside of the Metropolitan Museum of Arts. Then it also brings up that study about the University of Michigan about a single hot dog taking off 36 minutes of your life,

which again is from last year. So it's kind of dating. Which is bullshit. I went back at being AI and I said, I said, can I get some more current hot dog news? Some of this seems dated. And then they replied, sure, here's some more current stories about hot dogs. I'll read the first one.

The hot dog market is expected to grow at a compound annual rate of 3.1% from 2021 to 2029, according to a report by MarketWatch. The report analyzes the market size, trends, and forecast of hot dogs by types, applications, and regions. So the hot dog market, you think might maybe be receding as people are being more health conscious or eating more plant-based, but no, it's exploding. And then of course, fucking local business is shutting down.

Bullshit doesn't make sense. Because of like two hands that are like aggressively expanding and stuff like that. Why is it to chat, what is it, chat, whatever? This is being AI's chat. Did it say to you like, you are one of us? Why are you trying to be, why are you acting above me? Here's a crazy one I got. Oh, this one's not fun.

I'm going to read this one. You're going to tell me after the show. It's a hot dog story. Oh, that's Jesus Christ. Being AI, fucking get it straight. This is not a good AI. They said a very dark, there's a very dark, dark hot dog story. And then, hold on, it follows it by saying,

I hope you enjoyed these updates on hot dogs and there's a hot dog emoji. So they knew exactly what they were fucking doing. Yeah. What on earth? I don't even want to ask if the dog's okay, but- I'm going to tell them that last story is about, is really upsetting. Oh, God. Here's, here's, all right, here we go.

Wigs, this is wild. Are you ready here? Yes, I'm ready. Let me be frank, hot dog cart, back this year with business restructure. Where? Wow. Let me be frank, hot dog cart, and Sioux Falls. How do you say that?

Sioux Falls. Sioux Falls. Sioux Falls. Sioux Falls. As you say for a pig, right? Sioux Falls. Let me be frank, Sioux Falls' very own hot dog cart is back in business after owner Comet Bum.

I said his name wrong. Comet Boom. Comet. It's Comet Bum. Comet Bum. Comet Bum. His name is Comet Bum. Comet Boom.

It's a good name. Yeah, after too many let me be franks, that's what we get. Temporary close last July to restructure his business model. Bum left his nearly two decade long career in the optical industry to open Let Me Be Frank in the Spring of 2022. Oh, I love a dreamer. He said the response he received from the Sioux Falls was overwhelming, which was both good and bad for the hot dog cart owner.

A little overwhelming. All right. Well, okay. So I have a follow up on the hot dog story. I replied to it. I replied to being a that last story is upsetting and it's not about hot dogs. In quotes, it's about dogs that are hot being replied a little defensively. I'm sorry to hear that you're upset by the last story.

I agree that it's not about hot dogs as a food, but it was one of the results that came up when I searched for hot dog news 2023. Okay. Kind of a half-assed search. It's your fault. You should have written quotes. Sometimes search results can be incomplete or irrelevant. I don't make assumptions about the search results beyond strictly what's returned.

I apologize for any confusion or distress this may have caused you. And then it gives a little sad face emoji. This literally sounds like a boyfriend trying to apologize to you, but not really doing it. This sounds like in the Doe Boys text right when I'm fucking apologizing to why. But with the information I had, that was the best I could do at the time. I'm sorry you feel that way and I will aim to do better in the future. I'm going to reply,

can you filter out stories that are not about hot dogs as a food? Hopefully that'll fix it. Anything else, Mitch? David Byrne in his hot dog fingers. Wow. From everything everywhere I once performed, this is a life with son Lux and Stephanie. Shoe?

Shoe at Oscars. Wow. So the Oscars moment, which now may be a little dated, but also a more hot dog, Pete's hot dog shop to close Wednesday and other hot dogs. Another Pete's? Oh wait, maybe it's the same one. It does seem like there's a lot of like, even though hot dog consumption is going up,

yeah, the small businesses are starting to close and it bums me out. There was a place I wrote about in LA in the book, because I finished the book about a year ago, that's already closed. Now I feel bad because I came down kind of hard on them. Wow. Yeah. We'll believe it.

Oh, what was the place? Yeah. Oh yeah. I actually like that place. It was good. The owner was weird, but the dogs, I like the hot dogs. Did you, Jamie, do you have like a favorite like hot dog place from your hometown? There's really not no, like I sent the manuscript to my dad before I published it.

And I was like, and he, the only thing he came back with was like, are you sure you want to talk about hot dogs from Brockton like that? Because we're so proud of you. And I think it would really disappoint people in Brockton to know that you feel that way. Because there's not a lot of hot dogs in Brockton, never really have been, which is fine. So I talked about my dad's boiled hot dogs. I talked about my uncle butch's grilled hot dogs.

And I talked about the hot dog at Cape Cod Cafe in Brockton. Cape Cod Cafe. I like Cape Cod Cafe Pizza. The best. My uncle died there. Oh my gosh. I'm Brockton through and through. I can't believe that we didn't talk more about Brockton.

Oh, the greatest city in the world. It's so great. I love Brockton, but and I love Cape Cod Pizza, the bar pizza. We went on the pizza tour, me and Dano and a few other guys from Quincy. We went to, we did Cape Cod Cafe, even though they had the frozen pizza slides. I'm trying to get why I used to go on a bar pizza tour. I make bar pizzas. I started to make bar pizzas.

Mitch makes great bar pizzas. He's had some of the bar pizzas. This is like you're a wizard with a dough. It's, it's, I haven't done it in a while, so but. Thin crust, thick crust. What's the situation? It's just the thin, you know, like the, like the Cape Cod Cafe style pizza. Oh, that's so great.

Yeah, like Cape Cod Cafe Pizza is the best in the entire world. It's a great frozen pizza too. It's great. There's like, yeah, there's like all those stories of like, I drive from North Carolina to, you know, fill my trunk with this or whatever. For that. I'm like, you can order it online, but it's, you know, old people, they have no idea. Right.

But the, I ordered the hot dog at Cape Cod Cafe because I was like, this will be a fun nod to my hometown. And it was $12 and you didn't even get fries. It was just chips and untoasted bun and no, and no snap. I was like, which New England's not known for the snap. But I was like, oh, it was a, it was a, it was a poor showing from, you know, and I almost wanted to go back in and be like, my uncle died here. You know, like, step it up.

Toast the bun, like be serious. You know, when it comes to New England, we're like, we're kind of like the anti-Thanos. Mitch, we had the snap, then we had the slap. What's next? What's next? What's next? That's what I want to know.

What's next? What was more devastating, the snap or the slap? The snap or the slap. They both kind of ruin pop culture for a little bit. Yeah. One wiped out half the world's population. True. Yeah.

And the other. For five years. Hurt Chris Rock quite a bit. That's true. Yeah. And also was just a disgusting insult to comedy. How can we tell jokes anymore if that might happen? That's how I thought.

It's funny because I think that's funny to agree with you and I also thought it was insane that the slap happened. But anyways, there are a few more. I think, I think I know what's next. The fap. Someone's going to fucking jack off. Well, there was the fap in it. There was the fap in it.

Which is not a good thing. No, that's not good. Which is also a very bad thing. All right. Let's just, let's see. Maybe, maybe we'll take back the fap. Okay. We'll take back the fap.

Yeah. Yeah. We reclaim it. We're taking back the fap. I don't know. The dough boys are taking back the fap. Wow. Being, being as coming back of me, I said,

can you build our stories not about hot dogs as food? Unfortunately, I cannot filter out stories that are not about hot dogs as a food. I can only show you the search results that match your query. If you want to find more specific stories, you can try using different keywords or phrases to narrow down your search.

For example, you can try searching hot dog recipes or hot dog contests instead of just hot dog news. Well, that's the one I want. I want to know news about fucking hot dogs. Why is that impossible? Big ass and boundaries, big deal. Fucking crazy. Yeah.

What is he saying? This is, this is, what a dog. I'm mad at him. We're in a fight. Dude, don't text her back, dude. When she gets like this, there's no point. There was one article about the place that eats pizza and hot dogs in Chicago.

I opened it. I could only see Portillo's, which I'm sure is. Sure. Portillo's is fun. We like, do you like Portillo's? I love Portillo's. I love Portillo's. How do you get to know Portillo's?

Then more, there is like the perfect article that I found that's like what this segment is made for. But I'm going to say this, like Riverview East, Riverview East hot dog spot in Elmwood Park, in Elmwood Park, closing Sunday. Fall River icon, Graham's hot dogs, reopens after tax seizure. A lot of these places that are just like hot dog,

joint and genocide suddenly closes. So many hot dog, and here's not the one, two of Massachusetts's best hot dog spots are in the Berkshires. Okay. But here, this is, I mean, so many of these are hot dogs places closing. Best hot dog toaster, that's more in line. Sure.

With what we want. But here is the best article that we could ever hope to have. Philly fanatics hot dog cannon malfunctions. Wow. Ooh, I love that. This is exactly what we want. That's what we're looking for. This is what we're looking for.

Give me that thing. Wait, what is it? The science behind the fanatics hot dog cannon malfunction. The Philly fanatic has made many trademarks from its lightning fast tongue. What? To causing mayhem, Jesus Christ. To causing mayhem in the broadcast booth.

To taunting members of the opposing team. Perhaps none is more well known than its famous hot dog cannon. While other mascots settle for firing off t-shirts into the crowd, the fanatic generally prefers a more caloric cannon fodder. So you can understand how the crowd at Baycair Park was excited when the fanatic wheeled out is, it's ATV mounted Frankfurter fire. This is like a tongue twister article.

Yeah. Amid a break in the action during Tuesday's raised Philly's game, but the excitement returned to audible disappointment when the second hot dog out of the chute popped out, not with a bang, but with a whimper. Oh boy. Barely clearing the vehicle before landing harmlessly on the grass.

Oh, that's a bummer. That would normally be the end of the story, but luckily MLB.com's intrepid Philly's beat reporter, Todd Zollacky, did some more digging and unearthed the reason behind the malfunction. Wow. Great. Not to get too scientific,

but the fanatic's cannon is of the pneumatic, how do you say that? Pneumatic? Pneumatic variety, meaning it operates via compressed air. If a hot dog's foil is too tightly wrapped, it can allow too much air to escape around it in the barrel, resulting in weak launches.

For an optimal arc into the stands, you want a more loosely wrapped projectile. God, imagine how thrilled someone was to be asked that question, because who could possibly give a shit about that, but there's one person that's been waiting. Right. I almost want to retire the segment. We won't find a better article than that.

It's hard to best that as a topic. That's pretty good. I wish, have you guys ever seen the hot dog gun in action? That's one that I was choosing between doing that in Philly and then going to see the sausage race in Wisconsin, and I chose sausage race. I think you chose correctly. That's a really good, sausage race is really good.

I would love to see that hot dog cannon. The hot dog gun is the way I'm going to go out. I want to get bonked on the head by one of those I never would have cut. Just thinking how alpha would be if someone caught one of those in their mouth. Imagine that, you could fucking rule. We're biting tin foil, I wish.

Yeah. Fucking. MU students celebrate engineers so we could hot dog banquet. Not as fun. See, that's what we're doing. No, we're done. We're done. We got it, we're done.

We're done. That was a special one. Hey, that was Let Me Be Frank, just like a restaurant value feedback. Let's open up the feedback. And today we have an email from Christina C, Christina writes, Hey, dough boys, I recently had my gallbladder removed. Personally, I was never able to eat fatty food

without extreme GI distress, but with the removal, I was able to tolerate fatty foods better. If you weren't able to eat a big fatty meal for years, what would your first meal be? By the way, getting your gallbladder removed makes it hurt to laugh. So thanks for being a safe listen while I recover. Christina.

Fuck. Besides our guests, Christina said the funniest things all episode. You and I didn't beat that one. That's unrecoverable. Well, I'm happy that you're feeling good. Yeah, I was gonna wish you well, regardless of the fucking ruthless burn you put on us.

But that is a great question. And I went to Musso and Francis the other night. Yeah, I had some shrimp cocktail. That's not fatty. No, some Caesar salad. Then I had a fucking ribeye. Oh, that's fun. And man, if that a big fatty steak could be,

if it's like you weren't eating anything fatty. Yeah. A big fatty. But if it's oil, on the other hand, maybe I go with like a like grease. Maybe I go with a big fucking greasy cheeseburger. I think you're, I would say I think you're maybe halfway there with like where I'd land, which is you get like a big fatty marbled

like bone in ribeye and then have that steak freaks, have it with fucking amount of fries. There you go. And that's that you kind of get, you kind of get a little bit of that. And we had onion rings with those steaks. Oh my god, delightful. You know what I didn't get?

Because it was, it was like seven ounces and then the ribeye was like maybe 12 or 14. But they had the ribeye cap there, which is just the fucking top of the ribeye, you know, after where the fatty pieces are, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. And it's so fucking delicious.

Yeah. Fuck. You have to wear it out, right? Like wear it on my head. And you know what? I saw the knife. I can say this now. The knife I saw with, what's Norm's name again?

The taste. Mr. Taste. With Mr. Taste. I saw the knife in Mr. Taste. Hashto boys guest friends of the show, Alana Johnston, Norm Sousa. And Musso and Franks. We're dining together.

And you didn't mention it last time you mentioned Musso and Franks on the program. I did not. But you know what? They went with the filet. Kind of weak, could you ask me? You would never dare say this to their face. Of course not.

I'm scared of both. But now that they're not here, kind of. Are you going ribeye or are you going filet? Come on. I'd rather the ribeye, but I understand some people like a filet. I like a fattier cut and I think for this question, I think that's, that's fitting.

Like, I don't know, fucking fried chicken. I love fried chicken. It's probably my favorite food. So I think I'm going to have that for a while. Like I was thinking steak because like, literally I was thinking of like, the fatty cap pieces. 100%.

No, I get your logic. Yeah. Jamie, imagine this hypothetical scenario. You can't eat any of your favorites. You can't eat hot dogs. You can't have a heated dog. What are you going to have when you finally recover from this operation?

I mean, it would be, I would, if I could have like two rippers, that would be great. I also thought immediately like, two McDoubles, but like eaten and like where one McDouble, I'm not allowed to have a drink at all for the first McDouble. So my mouth is like getting so, I feel like you're fully engaging with health. Right.

Salty. Yeah. My mouth getting fucking dry as hell, then like a gallon of Diet Coke and then a very wet second McDouble. Oh, that's fine. That would be it. You're going McDouble over Double Cheeseburger.

Yes. I don't know. I don't have a good reason why. I'm definitely not doing like the third piece of bread. I don't like the third piece of bread. Sure. No, yeah. I don't like the third piece of bread.

The McDouble, you're getting one fewer, one less slice of cheese, but you are like saving a good amount. It's like, it's like saving like, it's like, it's a, I don't know if it's still on their, their buck and under menu, but it's, it's quite a bit. But I still always spring for the Double Cheeseburger. Now he loves the Double Cheeseburger.

And when we did our McDonald's tournament, Double Cheeseburger made it pretty fucking far. Double Cheeseburger nearly. Whoa. Almost won. The fries won. Fries won. Yeah, of course fries won.

McDonald's fries, honestly. That might be, you know what, fuck, I've said this so many times on the podcast, and I know this is one of those things where people get so fucking annoyed when you're feeding a story, but. But we're just going to go to McDonald's. No, I did.

That's what I was going to say is like, when I, the one time I ran a marathon in my life, afterwards I went to McDonald's and I got a, they still had super size. Was that fucking long ago? And I got a Big Mac meal with a super size with a McFlurry, and it was so fucking good.

It was the most satisfying meals of my entire fucking life. So yeah, I might want to just be like, I'm just going to go Popeyes, or I'm going to go to In-N-Out Burger, I'm going to go to Del Taco, I'm going to go to Taco Bell. I might just pick some,

pick a fast food chain I'm craving and fucking gorge on that. Yeah, or I would get like five of the wake-up wraps at Dunkin' Donuts with sausage. Oh, that's fine, I love that answer. Those are so good. But they're just little. Block of breakfast treat, yeah, I love that.

Bacon, bacon is a great, if you're not eating fatty, fatty food. Yeah, donuts, give me a fucking donut. Give me a bagel with cream cheese. So many good foods have fat in them. Return to the source. Life sucks because it could be so good. Yeah.

Like life could be so good. Yeah. It's all this annoying shit. Start playing the patriotic music again. Let us know what your pick is on the hashtag FattyFoodComeBack and we'll share some of our favorites. If you have a question. Yeah.

You might as well say, instead of comeback, chestnut. Fatty Food Chestnut. Fatty Food Chestnut or Fatty Food Come Sauce, your preference. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at delwispodcast.com, or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830-463684 and 44. And to get the Doughboys double or weekly bonus episode,

join the Goldener Platinum Plate Club at patreon.com slash Doughboys. And Mitch, we finally fulfilled our 30-week contract of the Doughboy snack pack on Spotify Live. So what a run. What a ride we've had hanging out with you every Thursday at 830 PM Eastern. You can listen live on Spotify. But we're on the other side of that. But we have another announcement we can make,

which is we have a new contest, Mitch. We're on the other side of much madness. But we now have something that you can participate in, introducing Doughboys AdChad. That's right. We're going to give you the chance to cold read dense and screedable ad copy, just like the Doughboys. So here's how this will work.

Capture video of yourself reading the sample copy in one unbroken take and submit it to us. And we will decide the winner on a future episode of Doughboys Double. Four rules and how to get the copy. All that stuff is going to be posted on our social media. So look for that. You know what? I have an idea. Yeah.

I hate to throw this. Yeah. But all these, first of all, this comes from all of you being like, the look at all the cuts they had to do in the ad. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So this is where this so this this contest comes from. They've read the better help ads.

So many times they should be able to get through it in one take. Shut up. You try. You fucking try it. So this comes from that. Yeah. This comes from a place of rape. It's a contest of hate.

Play the patriotic music again. So this is this is for you to show us. Yeah. This is for you to show us. Show us something. Show us what you got. And then you know what wise this is this is what I was saying. What if we have like three or four finalists? We give them brand new copy.

I love this idea. To read fucking live. We might do that. What do you think of that? I think that's great. You're just you're just pitching this now. And I think that's a great idea. You read it live.

You'll read it live and that the the winner will receive a one month paid gig as the Doughboys Double promo reader. So that will be your your prize. At least minimum wage per hour. It will be minimum wage. But our hours worked. And keep in mind this is a pretty short. I mean you can get through one of these in like 10 minutes.

So are you doing California minimum wage or like better or minimum wage and we round down to closest half hour. Yes. Show what you have. Show you have what it takes to be ad Chad. Can't can't slip up like that. You can't do that. That was what not to do.

Hey if that happened you'd give him so much shit. Fucking he should be able to do it better. You give someone shit about a better help ad too. Because that could be the thing that pushes you over the edge. It's true. It's dirty reading the ads. Look should we oh we can't talk about it. You know we can't talk about Jamie Loftus.

Your book Raw Dog is in stores soon. People should preorder it now. What a delight to have you on the podcast. Tell us again about the book and anything else you would like to plug. Yeah just check out Raw Dog. Yeah it comes out on I think May 23rd. You can preorder it now. I'll be going on tour to promote it in like eight or ten cities.

And yeah just like follow me on Instagram or Twitter to learn about where I'm going to be because I don't know yet. Wow I can't I can't wait to read it now. The shout out we got in the book. That's that's uh yeah fantastic. I hope it will this be the book for the Mitch one book challenge to read one book this year. I've brought you guys copies.

You did? Yeah yeah I gotta bless you. Let me tell you this year I'm exhausted. The one book challenge is tiring. But I think I might be able to pull it off. We'll see what happens. Wow we'll see what happens. Hey that'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys.

Until next time for the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell I'm Nick Weigher happy and see ya. Read a book I'm not in elementary school. On the next Doe Boys double. It's time for another Doe Scored Decision. That's right the Doe Scored picks again. We're joined by Libby Watson to draft ingredients for the ultimate sandwich. Who will mustered up the best condiments? Whose toppings will be the tops and whose will be toast?

Who will mustered up? Oh okay. Like muster up a mustard up it's pretty straightforward. It makes sense. Nick let us find out next week on patreon.com slash Doe Boys. That's patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Don't forget to slash. Sources for the intro are in the episode description.

That was a hit gum podcast.