Doughboys - UNLOCKED! Mash Off 6: The Chompit: The Battle of the 5 Cookies with Eva Anderson and Mike Hanford

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

Unlocked and free for all! Eva Anderson (@evafay, Interior Chinatown) and Mike Hanford (@mikehanford, The Sloppy Boys) join the 'boys to discuss past Mash Offs and holiday sweet treats before tasting their cookie creations in the sixth annual Mash Off!Nick's Recipe: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1019961-red-velvet-cookies-with-white-chocolate-chunksMitch's Recipe: https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a49383/apple-crisp-cookie-cups-recipe/Want more like this episode? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/doughboysCheck out our NEW merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Double! Double! Double! Double! Double! Double! Double! Double! Double! Double! Double! I want to promote the Sound of Freedom. I finally get to promote a project near and dear to my heart, the Sound of Freedom. Yeah. Yeah, you've had to be kind of tight-lipped about that for a while.

Yeah. I know I'm not in it, but I want people to go out and check it out. Buy movie tickets for it, even if you're not going. But out and check it out. Buy movie tickets for it, even if you're not going. But yeah, check it out. Right, just sort of if you want to just buy every ticket for like a 2 PM showing on a Wednesday, that really helps, like just the box office numbers. Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm thrilled I get to finally talk about it.

Yeah, say the line, Mitch. That sounds like, oh, damn it. Never trust a pedophile. Is that really in the movie? Yeah, that's the big, like, you're terminated fucker. That rocks. I had to look up Sound and Freedom Mitch, and I know now that you're joking.

I did a quick Wikipedia search. I'm not joking. I think you should check it out. I think you'll like it. But hey, happy end of the strike to all of us. And I hope that all other unions, great that I can't remember the other union. That's... I think there's been some, you know, like a very... IOTC. Yeah, I want to say... Oh, you're talking about the other entertainment unions. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I just want to say that we were... Wonderful resolution there. ...support IOTC when they come up in a couple months. Yeah, IOTC and the Teamsters next year. We'll be right there with them. Oh, yeah. God bless. Mitch, do you feel, I don't know, guilty or bad at all for not picketing one moment.

You know that I was cramping up for most of the scry. The sun's too bright out here. Now I saw the I saw the one Instagram pic of you. Did I put up an Instagram pic with who? With Claudia at Netflix? Is that the one? Uh, you know, I don't really, I don't really catalog all your Instagram posts, but yes, I believe that's right.

I went quite a few times, not as much as this guy over here. He was there. Everyone was doing what they can. I picketed with Hanford in New York. Yeah, she caught me on the one, the one time I went. I was like, what's going on out here? I'm returning something from Radio Shack. They all seem to be closed.

These batteries don't work anymore. You know, we have a longstanding tradition here at the Dillboy's. What were you going to say? Strike is over. Mash is on. That's the mash off. That's right. What a segue into Doughboys. Well, what are we going to say? Strike is over. Mash is on. That's the mash-off. That's right. What a segue into this.

Oh, that's what you're going to say. This is the long-standing tradition. Yeah, the long-standing tradition on the podcast. But I think what you said worked as well. And you know what? We're kind of going to mash up these ideas in a synergistic way because this is the mash-off. And every time we do the mash-off, we like to bring back our friends, Eva Anderson and Mike Hanford. Thank you both for being here.

Thanks, guys. Thank you for having me again. When did this old tradition start? This one, actually, you know, it's funny you ask because our buddy, the Drop King, compiled some stats. I didn't ask him to do this. Ooh. But our first mash-off happened in 2017.

Wow. So it's been going for a while. And that was Mount Thanksgiving more, where we all tried to put together a Thanksgiving dinner. It's kind of wild that it was that elaborate from the get-go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then as we were going, we started

to put together more dishes and have things to be a little bit more focused and a little bit more gimmicky. For instance, in 2021, we all did Thanksgiving sides where I prepared cranberry sauce, Mitch did mashed potatoes, Hanford did stuffing and even did roasted Brussels sprouts. Was it canned? Did you do canned cranberry sauce? Or you made a cranberry sauce?

No, I made a cranberry sauce. All right, that's pretty good. Man, I don't have a memory of any of that. I don't remember none of this. I don't remember making roasted Brussels sprouts at all. A few of none of this. I don't remember making Brussels sprouts at all. A few of these were pandemic years, so that is probably part of the reason. Oh, that could be it, yeah.

I made stuffing one year, but that's the only thing I remember. I remember the dessert one. I can't remember what I'm, no, I made like some cinnamon swirl type thing. I made a cranberry, like a tart that year when we did desserts. Every time I've done this, I have had help from Mommy,

my Mommy, whether it's just input, but this year, she's here, she's in studio. Hey! She's sitting right over here, she's watching. Hi Mrs. Mitchell. Not laughing. Also, instrumental in drilling down the answer to an ongoing debate here, which we are going

to, you know, kind of conclude with today's mash-off. Is Christmas a cookie holiday? Came on to our show and definitively just declared, banged your gavel and said, yes, Christmas is a cookie holiday. She watches Judge Judy, so that makes sense. Big Judge Judy fan. Who was saying it wasn't a, Who was saying it wasn't a, what do you mean by cookie holiday?

Cookies are associated with it? Well, this is, I mean, what's your take? When you hear the question, is Christmas a cookie holiday? What does your gut tell you? Yeah, I say yes, it is. Christmas cookie. You say yes, it is. Because of Christmas cookies, right? Yeah.

What got us into some hot water on the podcast is this topic got brought up. Did she make that decision a year ago? No, it was the, I mean, it was close to a year ago, but it was at our live finale of Munch Madness this past year. Okay. It was the current year, 2023.

Jesus. You all right? Yeah, I'm fine. I mean, no, I'm not, but you know, it's fine. The question came up on the podcast and Mitch and I both hemmed and hawed and sort of landed like, I guess it's a Christmas holiday. Or I guess Christmas is a cookie holiday rather.

That's what I'm trying to say. I guess Christmas is a cookie holiday. And then- People got really mad. People got really upset at us. And then, so we tried to like come to some clarity, a consensus answer. And I think we ultimately landed on Christmas cookie holiday.

I mean, I assume you think Christmas is a cookie holiday. I think it is. Yeah. Well, this is crazy to me. Were people mad at you? Hold on. You two said it was not. We said it wasn't, basically.

We were kind of like, we're not sure if it is or not. I mean, in my mind, I think it was like Santa eats cookies, but does that necessarily mean it's like a big cookie holiday? I don't know. Well, is the argument like there's other bigger cookie holidays? Well, that's why we landed on Christmas is a cookie holiday, I don't know. Well, what, is the argument like there's other bigger cookie holidays? Well, that's why we landed on Christmas is a cookie

holiday kind of like, it was like a soft yes for us. Like, yeah, I guess Christmas is a cookie holiday because we couldn't find a better- Gingerbread house. Cookie exchanges. Yeah. I never really was engaged in a cookie exchange. I never had that, but I have encountered gingerbread house,

but I also don't think of a gingerbread house as a cookie. But my grandma also always baked cookies for Christmas and I do know that the concept of Christmas cookie exists It's a cookie holiday, it's fine. All right, my grandma just rolling just trolling. We're not trolling hand man I mean, we're not doing well. I don't how about this? How about this for a take? I don't really think of Valentine's Day as a Cupid holiday Rolling is there's more I see more cupids on St. Patrick's Day Yes, they're wearing green and yes, they're watching their gold those are leprechauns. That's not a Cupid You're confusing the two. That's a...

You're confusing the two. Hanford should mention is being a prince for us today. It is in New York City doing this remotely. And also a little under the weather. Hope you're feeling better, buddy. I'm doing great. You're going to hear some sniffling. I might leave the frame to cough. Don't worry about me. I'm getting over it.

It's breaking up. My chest cold is breaking up. Okay. I messaged Drop it. It's breaking up. My chest cold is breaking up. Okay, I message Drop King because I read those dishes and then I didn't have a memory of them. Thanks for your concern, Nick. No, I'm what, no, I'm glad you're saying that. That's what I'm saying. You brought it up, the other two are just stone-faced.

I don't know, I mean, I'm sad that you're feeling sick. I'm happy that you're feeling, starting to feel better. I said before it was the Fallon flu. I don't want to get everyone sick at Fallon. That's the, that's my main concern. That's why I stayed away. Were you out of work all week? No, just two days.

Uh, but last week, a bunch of people had the same thing and I knew it was time. You, you, you, you know that, you know that, uh, when we were, we did birthday boys together, I would often blame you for getting sick. I think you remember this. This is a, this is a Mitch thing. You always want to drill down the patient zero who got you sick. Now it's a Mitch thing.

No, this happened. Well, yeah, it's always you and Hanford. That's the issue. You and Hanford are the two doing it. Me? You think it's me? No, you're actually not sick, almost alarmingly, ever sick. OK.

We were, and then Hanford and I were both sick for, remember we were sick for like seven months? We had a cough, like a year long cough. Yeah. That's rough. We probably should have gone to a doctor, I feel like at that point. I think, yeah, I think so.

Looking back on that now, I think. I feel like most health books say seven months with a cough is the time to go. Okay, so I went back to Dropking because he said, like, this is his message. Also some stats from the previous mash-ups, just in case you were curious or thought it was worth referencing or revisiting. I thought what he was sending was the dishes we made.

But no, these were just things that we talked about on the episode. Okay, good. So, for instance, canned cranberry sauce, mashed potato stuffing, roasted Brussels sprouts. We didn't actually prepare those during mash-up for the Dream Master. That was just what came up when we asked what our favorite Thanksgiving sides were. I thought I was going crazy. cranberry sauce, mashed potato stuffing, roasted Brussels sprouts. We didn't actually prepare those during mash-off for the Dream Master.

That was just what came up when we asked what our favorite Thanksgiving sides were. I thought I was going crazy. Yeah, I also was like a little, cause I was like, I did not make both a pecan pie and a pumpkin pie. So I'm not quite sure why that's under the stat. Why was four the Dream Masters

when three is the Dream Masters in Freddy? The three is the Dream Warriors. Oh my God, and four is the Dream Master. Yeah. Man, that's embarrassing. My Freddy knowledge, yeah, that sucks. Sorry, mama, this is embarrassing to do this in front of my mom. The first Freddy movie came out today in 84, was it? Whoa, really?

After Halloween? Yeah, after Halloween. That's wild. How did you know that? As of this record. It was on a, at work we have like a little sheet, like a fun sheet of like what's on the show, what's fun things, picture of the day and stuff. I love that's that's what from what I love, what I, you know, when I used to work on, on, on

talk shows, variety shows, I loved getting that research packet. The researchers would go in, they do so much work and they'd put together a bunch of just like, and so yeah, you'd always find out fun facts. Like they'd say, oh, today it's, you know, it's National Fork Day. Like it's got like some, there's some weird holiday that's going on, or like, oh, this is John Wayne's birthday. How about that?

I don't know. John Wayne Gacy? I was reading the sheet today, and I was looking through, I was like, oh, cool. That's a fun fact about Freddie. And I was like, oh cool, that's a fun fact about Freddie. And I was like, today is Mike Hanford's last day. What the fuck is this?

Lazy and obtuse were two words that jumped out at me. I like that you're like, I loved that packet breakdown. And then after work people are like, Nick, you want to come for a drink? You're like, no, I'm okay. I'm gonna go home. I got the packet. I'm gonna read the packet on the bus. Okay, so our last mash off was mash off five.

That was the revenge of Michael Mashter. So now I'm looking at the Dough Boys Wiki. That was when we went back to the mash. We returned to the mash and we each had a secret. That's what I was thinking to the mash. And we each had a secret. That's what I was thinking, Hanford. And we each had a secret ingredient we drafted. Now I'm remembering all this. And Emma participated.

Emma drafted vegan, made a vegan mashed potato. That actually came out good. Yeah, it was good. It actually was pretty good, there we go. Boiling the potatoes in veggie broth was a huge, huge part of it. And what was it, what were the other? Before that, it was pot, we all made pies.

Oh, right. Yeah, we did make pies one year. Oh yeah, that was, yeah, I liked that one. I made a blueberry pie. Pie eating, I feel like I did well with the pie eating. I had never tried it before. I tried something new today as well. 2020, we made sides.

Right. Or we made different things like, 2020, I think, Weiger, that's when you made the turkey breast. That's correct, yes, that's right. An insane choice, just a lot of work. I made stuffing. People, you guys made other stuff. Mitch, you made classic pecan pie bars.

Mrs. Mitchell made a pecan pie martini. That's right. Oh yeah. I was home at that point, I think. Yeah, Hanford made pumpkin swirl bread and even made, yeah, sage and sausage stuffing. The point is, we've made a lot of dishes here on the mash-off over the years.

We've hit on a lot of different categories. We've maybe explored. Can I be honest with you? Yeah. Eva's is always pretty good. Eva's is always good. Eva's is always, Eva's usually the winner. But Eva's-

She's an award winner. She is an award-winning baker. You won a blue ribbon, did you not? I did. That's pretty good. I don't think this is gonna win a blue ribbon today, but, you know, if there's a blue ribbon here in the studio, you could give it to me.

What the hell's going on over there? I know. Did you have his blue ribbon? No, I didn't. That's what I thought he was gonna get out. I didn't know what he was doing. No, I wasn't doing a blue ribbon bit. I'm very self-conscious about my shirts.

The dog is very sleepy. It's very cute. Casey says it looks fine. I can stop futzing. The dog, Jemmy looks cute. You're adjusting. You're gonna show your mid-drift. I know, I'm gonna expose my gut by accident

when I'm trying to adjust my shirt. I gotta stop futzing with it. I love that shirt. Good shirt. Good shirt from our buddies at Kinship Goods. Really good. Here's a tip for ya. That's good shirt. Good shirt is from our buddies at Kinship Goods. Really good. Here's a tip for you. Increase your shirt size. Yeah, go up a size.

What, 4XL would be good for you? All right, all right, all right. Let me ask you this. So, so we've kind of thoroughly explored Thanksgiving, which is partly why we're going to Christmas cookies this year for this mash-off. But I want to ask, and I know we could- Are we going to Christmas cookies

or is this Thanksgiving cookies? It's supposed to be Christmas cookies. Oh, it's supposed to be Christmas. Well, luckily I made something that works for both. Yeah, it's fine. Whatever you made is fine. It's gonna be fine. Okay. But I wanted to ask, like, it's keeping in the dessert realm,

keeping in the term of, in the area of sweet treats. What sweet treats do you like to have around the holidays? Handman, let's start with you. Ooh, around the holidays. I like when somebody brings, like, a good cookie in somewhere. I don't make cookies very well. Hopefully today's different. But yeah, I do like the cookie. Kind of the classic, the star with like the sort of the, the frosting on

that's hard. You know what I mean? It's like a white shortbread cookie. You like the hard frosting is your answer? No, I, how do I describe it? It's like shiny kind of, you know, I'm talking about. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. Me, I like a nice Christmas slurpee. Yeah. Me, I like a nice Christmas Slurpee. Mitch. Mint Slurpee? Oh, yeah, minty Slurpee, peppermint stick Slurpee.

Mitch, you just reminded me, I didn't have my summer Slurpee this summer. I always have at least one. Oh, no. I missed it. It's a bummer. What's your flavor? I like the cherry. Oh, cherry's good.

I like it a cherry. I had a point in my life where I was having a Coke Slurpee every day. This is thick water. It's got a fly in it. It's got a fly in it. It's got a fly in it. It's got a fly in it. It's got a fly in it. It's got a fly in it. It's got a fly in it. cherry's good. I like it a cherry. I had a point in my life where I was having a Coke Slurpee every day.

Ooh. And then I- This is thick water. It got a fly next to it. Yeah. It was my thicker era. Not that I'm a slender man these days, but I was like, you know, I was really having-

Not be slender man, just to be clear. I was having, and then we looked it up and it was like, oh my God, this is like 600 calories of sugar. Like I'm just having like consistently. You were also eating, didn't you eat snicker bars at this point too? It was your-

This was a little earlier than that. Well, yeah, when I worked in the video game industry. Mountain Dew and a Snickers bar. My general breakfast, I'd get something from the office break room and I would like, cause I'd get in late and I I'd just grab whatever I had, and it was usually a Snickers bar, a black coffee, and a Mountain Dew Code Red.

Oh my god. Dear god. Horrible. My mom just- But you can eat like that when you're like 22. Oh yeah. My mom had a visual reaction to that. Yeah.

I think she was nervous maybe. I don't know what it was. That does make my teeth tingle, hearing about a, phew. I did that in college. I would go to a snack machine and get a Snickers and a Coke. It's the same thing. Yeah. Like every day.

It's crazy. I'm not a, well, my mom's here and she might scoff at this. I'm not a huge sweets person. I got a teeth tingler today. I didn't see a scoff. I saw a mild eye roll, but not a scoff. I think that I like sweets when they're liquid. I like colas.

I don't like, I don't, I don't eat like a ton of candy. Do I? Gummy bears are like, right? Yeah. You're asking your mom if you like gummy bears? We both like desserts. My mom and I like desserts. We like chocolate desserts. But besides that, I'm not a big sweets person.

I don't care about, like in the holidays, I don't really care about the sweet. I'm more savory. I'm more excited about some sort of dinner dish instead. More meats than sweets. Yeah, more meats than sweets. Meats and sweets. Yeah, meats and sweets. Mitch, you and I are both beardos.

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Right. Michael, the internet isn't working. Yeah. Yeah, ma, you didn't pay the bill for the internet. Right. Usually that's what it is. So it seems weird for me to get my mom a tech-adjacent gift, but guess what?

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I like pie. Oh, yeah. Last year, I did, like, a fruitcake that took three months to make. Whoa. Because you have to bake it in October, and then you have to keep it in a whoa. Because you have to bake it in October and then you have to keep it in a closet

and you have to feed it brandy every week until Christmas. That's wild. And then you frost it and you seal it in. And the recipe actually makes two fruitcakes. So one of them, then you keep it in the closet and it definitely, in the dark, you can just pull it back out in a year or longer and you can eat the second one. It has to be in a closet? It has to be in the dark and it can just pull it back out in a year or longer, and you can eat the second one.

It has to be in a closet? It has to be in the dark, and it has to be sealed. But it's sealed in this, like, hard frosting, so nothing should be actually protected. But it's so heavy from all this stuff in it that it's actually like a 15-pound dessert, like a 20-pound dessert. Didn't you say you were gonna do that last year?

It's unbelievably dense. It's just like dried fruit and nuts and just like all this frosting and all this like alcohol. Dang. Did you mean, did you mean I was gonna hide in a closet and douse myself with booze? That's what I was saying. Five months? I mean.

While you're like, I'm gonna go to your closet for like three months, can you just feed me brandy and I'm like, sure. Just hand it through the door. How did me brandy? I was like, sure. Just handed through the door. How did it come out? It was actually really good. Cause fruitcake is like, I own, it's like, and for a while it was like with Brussels sprouts,

now Brussels sprouts have obviously made a comeback, but like it was like paired as like, like, like, oh, fruitcake, that's the bad holiday gift. Oh, I got a fruitcake from my mother-in-law. I was like a bad 90s puncher. And Irma's fruitcake. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Now this was legitimately good, but it was also like weird and dense. It was like a collapsed star.

I gotta say this. I would love to try that brandy fruitcake. Your food is always good. Here's the thing. I'm always happy to try it. Hanford, we haven't been able to eat your food for the last few years. Every year you watch me go, this is really good. I think I ought to win. What was your last in-person matchup, 2019? Or were you gone at that point? 2018.

I would have been gone probably 18. Wow. You only had two years of Hanford in-person. Have you lived in New York for like five years? Yeah, since 2019. October 2019. That's so wild. So we missed you for that matchup. I've got two years of Hanford in person. Have you lived in New York for like five years? Yeah, since 2019. October 2019. So we missed you for that mash off.

You were over Zoom. Yeah, I was already here. Oh, man. Crazy. Well, you got to come back for the mash off next year. I think it's important. Next year, you know, the Doughboy's numbers will be up a little more.

We can maybe get a flight for me out there. Yeah, we'll see. Quick thing, we just do it at LAX. I get off and then get back on. Hop into the Delta Sky Club, bring a Zoom recorder. We've done it before. Have you adjusted to life in New York City where you're just like, this is my home now? Do you feel like that's where you want to be?

Yeah, I guess I'm pretty, I've acclimated to New York pretty good You said that you're good friends with the critic now, right? Yeah, I'm always going by his house and saying buy my book Yeah, I'm pretty acclimated but but the boy oh boy this city Nick, yeah the the stories that it has I mean I'm I mean, I'm just, I'm an inch into the ocean of stories in this place. It's a magical place. Wow.

It's true what they say. I'm serious. He's trolling us again. It's true what they say. Hanford's a dick. Well, we miss you. We miss you for that. Thank you.

I miss you too. It's always good to miss you. We miss you for that. Thank you. I miss you, too. It's always good to see you. So as I mentioned, this is the sixth annual mash off. And because this is the third Thursday of the month, that's how the calendar worked out. I'm sorry, the third Tuesday of the month. That's how the calendar worked out. This is our Doe Score Doecision.

And so we let you, the Doe Score users, pick what we mashed off this year. And Shifty sent in the pitch of Christmas cookies, which is where we're at. Which almost seemed like a bit. Shifty! And then we did choose it. Yeah. Dropking wrote out like a detailed, like three page idea.

And then there was one idea that was just Christmas cookies. And we chose Christmas cookies. Sorry, Dropking. But Dropking did provide some other context for this, which is that he has some pitches for the title. He titles the mash-off each year. So I'm going to read all these, and we can settle this live on the show.

All right, here we go. These are all named after the sixth entry in a franchise. Got it. Mash-off six, the undiscovered cookie. This is after Star Trek. It's pretty good. Yeah. MASH-OFF 6, Cookie Under Siege.

Okay. That's a police academy. Pretty good. MASH-OFF 6, Revenge of the Spritz. The Star Wars reference in Spritz is a popular Christmas cookie. I'm not familiar with Spritz. Got it, yeah.

I think of Spritz as more of a drink, right? Yeah, it's more about the shape. It's like a little, like a kind of, like a little meringue. Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about. Isn't a Spritz Hanford, you could, a sloppy boy, you can answer. Like an Aperol Spritz.

Isn't a Spritz, that's what I think of, yeah. Yeah, Spritz is a type of drink, I've always thought of it that way, yeah. Mash Off Six, all right, so we won't do that one. That one's not gonna win. Mash Off Six, The Chomp It, Battle of the Five Cookies. This is a Hobbit reference. I kinda like this one the most so far.

Yeah, it's pretty fun. Hobbit and the Chomp It is fun. There is only four cookies, right? Well, that's the thing, it says, he said, and assuming there's a fifth person participating, which is not the case. No. So, let's maybe strike against it.

Okay. Hey, did that dog bring any cookies in? The dog is the cookie. I had a dollar for every time I heard you say that. Hey, that dog got cookies on it. All right, problematic property here, but this is a pretty good pun. MASH-OFF 6, Mary Chomper and the Half-Fudge Binge.

It's a Harry Potter reference. Oh, Harry Chomper and the half fudge binge. It's a Harry Potter reference. Oh, Harry Chomper. Half fudge binge. Yeah. Why is it Mary? Cause of Christmas. Oh. Oh, okay.

Okay. Mary Chomper to the Harry Potter. Okay, yeah, no, that one's lost too. What's the next one? And then there's also mash off six, cookie of the year and mash off six, I did it all for the cookie. I like mash off six, the chomp at the battle of the five and Mash Off Six I Did It All for the Cookie.

I like Mash Off Six The Chomp It, The Battle of the Five Cookies. I like that too. Yeah, because there's only four. Yeah, I think that's fun. I think we do that one, yeah. Yeah, that's good. That's the winner. All right, great. That'll be the canonical title of this episode. Good.

Thanks, guys. Thanks for helping us figure that out there. It's an important part of the episode. You're welcome. Thank you. Yeah. I... out there. It's an important part of the episode. You're welcome. Thank you. We need to eat my cookie first. I just have to say it. Yeah, let's start there. All right.

Can we just start there? And people are, a lot of people are just listening to this, so we'll need a description of what you made exactly. But my first thing I was gonna say, not a criticism, to me this is what you've prepared does not look like a cookie. Okay, Nick, I'll say that right in front of me and my mother. No, I'm just like, I'm saying...

You spent hours doing it. It looks like, it looks, I'm sure it's tasty. I'm excited to eat it, but just like, to me, this looks like a bowl of stuff as opposed to a cookie. Oh, does it? So I just like some context for what we're gonna have here. Yeah, well, you didn't even let me explain what the fuck it was.

Well, that's why I just, I wanted to paint a picture for what we had in front of us for people. Oh now the listeners know it doesn't look like a cookie. Thank you. Hanford and Eva, this is a deconstructed apple oatmeal cookie crumble. It's deconstructed, that's why. That's why, that's why it looks like not a cookie.

That's why. It's deconstructed. Is that what's in front of you right there? That is what's in front of me right here. It looks like the bowl of dog food. It looks like Jemmy brought it. Yeah. But I brought a bowl for everyone, and Kacey and Emma included.

Let's be confusing if you're like a contractor and you're working on a project where there's a building D and you're always saying deconstructed. If you're like on a project where there's a building D and you're always saying D constructed if you're like no, it's We mean building D is being constructed Boss you said to take it down. No, no You guys have got to read the read what's going on in the blueprints here. We're building Building D we're constructing it All right. This look at this actually looks quite toothsome.

Wonderful. And it's got like a sort of like- Oh, you eat it with a spoon. Look at that. Yeah, we're eating this with a spoon. Can you just take a picture? We've got kind of like- Oh, yeah, shoot, I should take a picture.

There's a gooey texture to it. It's very moist, but there is a little bit of crunch on the edges. And I'm seeing cookie in it. Yeah, there is some cookie in there. It does not look like a crumb. Send me a picture of that, Mitch. I'll send you a picture.

Like pictures of pieces of cookie. You see it on the webcam there, Hanford, or is this too? I think I wanna, it's a little too far away. I'll get a nice close up there. Having this be a little warm probably better, but you know, it was a little warm when I started. Now, how did you land on this specific concept

for this cookie? I Googled Thanksgiving cookies. Got it. Which I never have really seen or tried before. Is it, you might not see those too much because they're like, they don't really exist. Thanksgiving cookies. That might be true.

No, you're 100% right. That's also not the theme we agreed on. No, that's also true, Eva. I cannot believe how calm Jemi is with me eating food right next to her. You wanna try it? Yeah, really. So unfood motivated.

You wanna try it? Wow. Like I put her dinner down every night and it takes me and Mike both trying to convince her that it's okay to go eat. She just stares at it and stares at us and like, are you sure that's for me? And we have to tell her it's okay to go eat.

Wake me up when you're serving souffle. Yeah. Okay, Jimmy, okay. Now if you throw like a steak or something on a pan in the kitchen, she is right behind you in two seconds flat. Got it, got it. So it's very specific taste. Yeah.

Mitch, can I just say, this is delicious. It's really, really delicious. Thank you. I'm thrilled by that. My mom and I, we went to Lazy Acres, right? Is that what it was called? The grocery store? Lazy Acres?

I don't know. What is it? Is this like a artisan grocery store? It's kind of an artisan grocery store. We get myself some, I was getting some b12 fun So so I was just a little like it's like a health place. It's kind of like it's like a fancy It's like a kind of a fancy Yeah, yes, yeah, no, no, you know where it is it's where It's it's it's right at a Western, you know know like Western where it goes up to

Griffith Park Boulevard there? Yes. It's at that point where my dry cleaner used to be. Okay. Which I guess doesn't help you imagine where it is. Oh yeah, it's not helping anyone to hyper-specific. Up the street from the Petco maybe?

Right. Across the street from the Baskin-Robbins on Western. Oh, that's a new place. It's new, it's new. Yeah. So it is kind of a fancy- Oh, not at Baskin-Robbins. You'll find it at Rite Aid. The old Rite Aid. It's a fancy place. It's new, it's new. Yeah. So it is kind of a fancy You'll want to go to that Baskin Robbins. Yeah, it's a fancy spot.

I wanted to get something that worked for us, both a Christmas cookie and a Thanksgiving cookie. What were you doing with that dry cleaner? You're going to the last time you're getting dry cleaned? I had the same question, thank you for asking. I can't say it with my mom here. What? What are you getting the Linda Tripp special?

I think of like dry cleaning for menswear. Every area is Mrs. Mitchell. Like suits or something or like nice business shirts, but you're not a guy who normally dresses like that. Yeah, I was getting my Celtics jersey pressed. What the hell are you? I'm just curious. I dress up occasionally.

Okay, so it was situationally for when you had to dress up a little bit. Yeah. Got it, got it. He's got his on the red carpet. I've seen him. That's true. I'll honestly tell you where I went the most is for what's going on. I was about to say that you have to wear a suit every week.

I'd wear a suit for what's going on, so that would always be what I would go there for the most. And you're nervous, you probably would sweat in it a lot. I would sweat in it a lot. Or they'd make you roll in pudding or something. Right. I'm surprised we haven't done this for Doughboys yet where I roll in pudding. So that area there, that dry cleaner is now Lazy Eggers.

We got my B12. We got everything that we needed, including some muffin pans and some cooling racks. I just thought of a joke. Can you say, we got my B12 again? We got my B12. You sunk my battleship. We got my B12. Tatooine a little soccer ball right now is going.

B12. B12. B12. B12. B12. B12. B12. B12. B12. B12. B12. B12? We got my B12, we got some muffin pans, some cooling racks, we actually got a pint of milk, I said we put this all in the doughboy card, she said, is that against the rules?

I said, doesn't matter, let's just use the doughboy's card. We used the doughboy's card, we got out of there, we went and saw the Holdovers at Alamo draft house downtown. Is it good? We had fun. Right? Yeah, we both liked it. It was fun. That's great. We got back at about 930 p.m. We started on this recipe and they were in a muffin tin and I could never get them out of the muffin tin in the shape of cookies. They're supposed to be cookies. Oh, they're supposed to be cookies. They were supposed to be constructed.

Got it. That's how these are deconstructed. So I had to lie to you immediately. My mom told me to be confident and just go with it. So it's her fault. She's the one who's lying to all of you, not me. No, I think it's the right move, because this tastes great. And so the idea of it is that it's

these cookies that hold kind of, I'll show you the recipe. They hold a shape. Yeah, they look like kind of little mini pies. The issue was, and look, I like to challenge myself for the mash off, I wanted it to work. We probably should have put in two different pie tins at different times, but it was already late. They just weren't coming out of the tins. It said 18 to 20 minutes, we cooked it 20 minutes, and then probably had to cook it total 20 more

minutes to make it what it was. So they were under cooked a bunch. And I don't know if it was my oven or the, you know. This is the thing, because I bake so rarely. And I think Mrs. Mitchell was saying, your mom was saying that it's like a recipe thing, right? But like the first time you try a recipe, there's always something goes a little haywire. That certainly happened with mine,

which we'll talk about in a second. So it always feels like you need that first go to like kind of work out the kinks and figure out like, oh, this thing's stuck to the muffin pan. Well, how am I going to salvage this? I felt good in that the tastes are there. So if this had worked out and it was a cohesive cookie, I would have been happy with it for the tastes. They're delicious, though.

Thank you. See, I kind of like this for a hot. Because you could totally just like scoop some ice cream on top of that. Exactly. And like make it into a big bowl of deliciousness. Yeah. That was my mom's idea actually was to put some vanilla ice cream on there, but that

felt even further away from a cookie. But cookies and ice cream work. This is, so it's called an apple crisp, sorry, apple crisp cookie cups. Oh yeah, okay, I see. So that's, and I can probably, that's this is- So it's supposed to have a shape. That's what it's supposed to look like. Okay, beautiful. That's what it's supposed to look like.

It's truly like a cupcake that is pie, which is something you used to talk about a lot. That's a great point, Eva. Yes, also, yes, cookies are pie in this. Cupcakes. Oh no. Cookies are pie on Thanksgiving. in this. Cupcakes.

Oh no. Cookies are pie on Thanksgiving. Cookies too. But yeah, there were some complications there. But basically you have to make the base with oatmeal and butter and sugar and then you make the apple pie filling and then you drizzle it with caramel sauce. Wow. Beautiful. You mentioned the holdovers.

Wait, then maybe we'll edit this out if this upsets people, but- This is a delish recipe, but go on. Director Alexander Payne, do you remember Rose McGowan had an allegation about him a few years ago, but she said in the allegation that he was very well endowed, I guess, as proof? This, what?

Rose McGowan said that he was a creep to her when she was 15. And then, and included the detail, you are very well endowed. Mm-hmm. There's gotta be a weird thing if you're reading that to be like, fuck, I'm canceled, but everyone knows I got a big hug. Thank you, ma'am.

Yeah. And I am sorry. Yeah. That's right, that's my mom and I remember that right before when we went to a different movie. We didn't go to the Holobovers. We went and saw something else. I was in a San Inez Valley last weekend,

and they still are dining out on Sideways every single place you go. They're like, one little thing from Sideways filmed here. Right. And it's like, it's been so long since that movie came out. But they're like, hey, the bartender here is like the guy from Sideways. Oh okay.

Wow that's that guy I want I'm thinking of the guy and if that's the guy that's kind of cool that you can go to a bar and eat the guy. Well it's at Hitching Post didn't you guys do a birthday boy show there? You guys did right? We were at the Hitching Post? Yeah weren't they? Didn't you? Or somewhere nearby?

Oh this is in Solvang California. Yeah when they were trying to like. Oh yeah yeah yeah okay. We were like, at the Hitching Post? Yeah, weren't they, didn't you, or somewhere nearby? Oh, this was in Solving, California. Yeah, when they were trying to like. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. We were like right nearby. The Ultimate Comedy Bash, this was a UCB initiative. The most confused audience I've ever seen in my entire,

do you remember this, Hanford? They were trying to make, Solving into the new comedy mecca. The new Del Close marathon. Like a new Aspen or something. Wild. Yeah. If it kept going, maybe, but it was just that one year. Yeah, there was, it was like a hard place to get to. There was not a lot of people there and we did, we did ropes and

underwear in that bar, remember? Yeah, it was a big bar. I'm surprised you should have been arrested. Yeah. There were people, the people, they were like, there were some people who were not happy we did it. Were you totally naked in the bar? That's crazy.

Well, there was like a stage, there was a stage room next to the bar, right? Yes, there were like cowboy doors that went into a bar. Yeah. Where most of the people were in. Right, and then people would kind of poke their heads into what we were doing and go, no, thanks. Yep. Well, there was an added layer of, because you kind of wanted to give it some context

for the settings, so you told everyone beforehand, just because you kind of wanted to give it some context for the settings. So you told everyone beforehand, just so you know, this is happening at the same time that Thomas Hayden Church is on a date with Sandra Oh. It's like, no, this is kind of just happening in the background. And I think people are just kind of looking around to see if they were there.

It's kind of confused by the setup. For people who don't know, this is a sketch that ends for two full minutes of Mitch and Hanford fully nude. Yeah. We did it in front of our shows mom. It's from the pilot of our, of Birthday Boys, yeah. Yeah, I have C-Series. Live also.

Live it's a different experience. Yeah, live it's. It's a lot of juggling of crack and junk. Yeah. And also we were doing it like in front of what I think were real cowboys. It's a lot of juggling of crack and junk. And also we were doing it like in front of what I think were real cowboys. They seemed like real deal, real life cowboys in many ways. Were they herding cows? Guys, I just got a little warning on my computer that says I'm out of space so my video stopped

but I got to clear some space off this thing I think. Oh boy. Okay, well I would save that video. Got any old like screenplays you can delete? clear some space off this thing, I think. Oh boy. Okay, well, I would save that video. You got any old screenplays you can delete? Yeah, all my screenplays are like a thousand pages. Max Landis? What are you getting on that laptop there?

Why are you running on the space? I bet it's all like... Empty that trash. Loppy boys stuff. Oh sure, that'll happen those Drive space yeah, well I've been there before constantly dumping files. Yeah You gotta you know it's not I don't know if you're using the drop box or the sloppy boys But what I found is that you could you can use the drop box setting to store it on the cloud

So it's not stored on your None of my audio is stored locally anymore for Doughboys after I record it. That's smart. Same. All right, give me a second here. We'll figure it out. Think about that cloud that the Doughboys audio is like, that green, gross cloud.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This is this is good Mitch you like it. Yeah, I think you're you're you're upset because it didn't come out the way you wanted it To but I think overall this is a this is a very delectable dessert I'm not gonna eat this whole thing and I can't stop trying to stop eating it. That's good I had to put it to the side so I wouldn't be looking at it What I really like and I don't know if this is this is in this is a byproduct of it sticking or if this is like It's intended to have this this texture, but you've got like this these crunchier sections that's that is with the mush. The crunchier sections are supposed to exist it's just the issue was is that the crunchy sides were there and then the bottom was just sticking and we you know we put in the we sprayed it with the spray. Ma do you

have anything to say on this? I bet you're right about the top of it. That was crunchy, that was at the top of the cup. Yeah, and that was coming off a lot when we were trying to get them out of the... And we also had to like recook it, like we put it back in the oven five times maybe, I think, over the course of... It's tough to get your oven temperature right. I was reading like, so we reviewed...

It was so far, like the recipe, like for me it was so far off. I don't know if my oven is not calibrated correctly or whatever. You can get a little thermometer to put in your oven, like on Amazon, and then you can check and see if it's actually the temperature it says it is.

Do you use a baking scale? No, my stepdaughter does, though, because she makes like macaron. Yeah. But I don't. Because I was like, OK, so we reviewed, but like in the very recent memory reviewed, Milk Bar. And so I was looking at some of the Milk Bar that Christina

Tosie, I believe, is the baker, like some of her things. And like, she's very much like a low oven temperature baker, like 275, like super low for longer, for whatever reason. But also, like, I saw a lot of tips about using a kitchen scale, which I'm just like, I don't bake enough to invest in a kitchen scale, but I understand that since it's a science, not an art, you're trying to get the proportions exactly right

and the individual variants for measuring cups may mess up, or how ingredients are packed in there could mess up your proportions. Yeah, and if you're trying to make things as uniform as someplace like Milk Bar too. Right, right. What things like perfection. What do you think of Milk Bar?

Well, we should say, you made the cracked pie one year. It was delicious. I did, which is actually maybe one of her easier recipes. Some of her stuff's like really complicated. I like Milk Bar. I like Milk Bar like once a year. That's what it seems like. Yeah, that seems about the rate of consumption.

Super sweet, but it's good stuff. How you doing with the hard drive there, Hanford? I'm doing great. I'm just saving. It's taking a second to save, but I deleted a whole bunch of shit. Wow. What's the most embarrassing thing you deleted? I had some, they're not fully clothed pictures of Mitch but they were just he was blinking and all. Alright new movie recording for the Handman.

Were you, was this part of the episode here? I think we can keep this in. Yeah. Okay, I'm in, I'm in. He's back. He's back. Wow, thanks for debugging that in real time. Any other thoughts on this cookie?

No, you know, I wish it had come out the way I want it. It would be great to have had at least one. That's what we were banking on. We were like, maybe we can get four, because we had about almost 20 of them. Yeah. And so we were like, maybe we can get four of them that will work out, or five of them, for however many people.

I realized in the end it was five of us. And we couldn't get five. We couldn't even get one, actually. We got one that was scooped out, and then it fell apart on the plate. But I want to try it again. If you do it again, can I couldn't even get one, actually. We got one that was scooped out and then it fell apart on the plate. But I wanna try it again. If you do it again, can I make a suggestion? Yes, please.

Little muffin wrappers. Dad will put them in there. Ah, you and my mom are on the same exact page. That's exactly what we probably should have done. I love pulling those muffin wrappers off too. How fun is that? Yeah. If you do it again, send us a picture.

I will, I will. I am going to attempt it again. It was, it actually wasn't the hard, I think the pie when I made the, the apple cranberry pie was actually more difficult, but it wasn't not with the sheet. My mom very much gets credit here cause we were made it together. But, but it was, it was, it was still kind of a lot of work. I would say. No. I mean from nine 30 till about 1 AM. Really?

Yeah, probably. Holy shit. You, you make, uh, you've had, you make good bar pizza. You make good, you had a dip one time I was at your house, you know, chicken dip or something. Oh yeah. The Buffalo chicken dip. I can follow a recipe, but we followed this one and, and, and, and, uh, but

I'm happy that it still tastes good. This worked out great. So that's, I'm happy about it. You did you did you were you are great at making a bar pizza and yes that pie you made when we were making pies those a delicious delicious pie. That's I gotta make that one again this year. Hey Wags, spark something uncommon this holiday with just the right gift from Uncommon Goods. The busy holiday season is here and Uncommon Goods makes it less stressful with incredible hand-picked gifts for everyone on your list. All in one spot.

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That's right. We got eight lords a leaping. Right. You got, your tongue is leaping from that hot sauce. Yeah. Seven poblanos a sizzling. Six rings a burning. Ha ha ha ha.

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Wow. Wow. To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com slash doughboys. That's UncommonGoods.com slash doughboys for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer, Uncommon Goods. We're all out of the ordinary. Uh, I'm tired. Mitch, wake up. We got to do an ad. Oh, well, Wiggs, you know what? I'm getting good night's sleep every night.

I just crav- I'm craving my bed. Oh. You know why? I think I know why. I sleep on a Helix. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You weren't saying that you didn't get a good night's sleep but you're sleepy.

I got a great night's sleep. You were saying you had such a great night's sleep that you want to experience it again right now. When you're sleeping on a Helix, you want the sleep, baby, because it feels good. Now, Mitch, you've had the Helix mattress for a while now. How's your sleep improved? Yeah, the it feels good. Now, Mitch, you've had the Helix mattress for a while now. How has your sleep improved? Yeah, the sleep feels good.

Your sleep's improved. My sleep has improved wise. It's like, I've had the Helix mattress for a while now. Wow. Let me tell you this. Here's a good anecdote for you. I'm up in Toronto sleeping on a slab of concrete. I come back home. I got my Helix sleep mattress. It's like sleeping on a slab of concrete. Mmm, boy. I come back home, I got my Helix Sleep mattress.

It's like sleeping on a cloud. Me, Wally, and Urba, the best mattress I've ever slept on. My mom has slept on it with me at the foot of the bed like a dog. She says it's the best mattress she's ever slept on. Anyone who sleeps in this thing, they love it wise. Yeah. Helix Sleep mattress. And here's the thing. it was easy to figure out

what mattress worked for me, because I took the Helix Sleep quiz. That's right, a simple quiz, it was fast. And matching with the mattress, I wanted to get a Helix Moonlight Luxe mattress, which I love, got mailed right to my door. I set it up with Ross Kimball. We set it up in just a few minutes, easy to go,

put the trash out, I was good to go, I had a nice new bed for me and Wally and Irma. Wow. Hey, get 25% off site-wide, plus two free dream pillows with any mattress purchase, plus get a free bedding bundle, two dream pillows, sheet set, and mattress protector with any Lux or Elite mattress order.

Go to helixsleep.com slash doughboys, it's helixsleep.com slash doughboys. Take her from the Spoo Man, do it. It's gonna be a good sleep. Speaking of pies, and this is now embarrassingly two bash-offs ago, but Eva, you delivered your pie to me and I forgot, I never returned the pie tin. Oh my God.

So I have that back today. That's awesome. And I'm using that to store my cookies. I love that. What I made are, and I have this little piece of bread for freshness. I'm gonna keep this away from Jemmy because this is chocolate.

So Jemmy. She won't try to eat it. You woke her up. Just tell her. I'm gonna yell in your ear and tell you not to eat it. She doesn't care. You woke her up. Now she's like, I'm gonna yell in your ear and tell you not to eat this chocolate. These are red velvet cookies with chocolate chips. And I want some of them.

Why did you have a piece of bread? To keep them fresh. To keep them fresh. Oh, is that a thing that happens? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's funny because one is attached to it and then Jemmy is interested in the bread. It's stuck to the bread.

She does love bread. The moisture, is it the moisture keeps them is attached to it and then Jemmy is interested in the bread. It's stuck to the bread. She does love bread. The moisture, is it the moisture keeps them soft? Is that? They keep them, yeah, they're like a little bit less stale. I never knew that, that's wild. That's cool. Yeah, it's an old grandma trick. So these are, here's the thing, here are my issues with this.

First off, I like, I wanted to make these in the recipe called for white chocolate chips. I don't like white chocolate. So I migrated to semi these in the recipe called for white chocolate chips. I don't like white chocolate So I migrated to semi soft Dark chocolate chunks the issue is I've never worked with dark chocolate chunks before and they were a little bit hard to mix in here So you see they're kind of like some of them They're kind of just like scattered on top more so than then baked in and their M&Ms in there The other thing is I was like I wanted these to feel a little bit more Christmasy outside of the red hue

So I thought I'd try to get some green in there. The problem is I couldn't find any green baking M&M's. So I just had to buy a regular ass bag of regular M&M's. And I was like, there should be plenty of greens in here. It was like a quarter cup worth of green M&M's. I needed like a half cup to a cup. And I had like, like barely enough to just sort of dot throughout here.

So it's a part three M&M count. Like this one has two M&M's and this one is like one of the more heavily M&M'd of them. So it's kind of a bummer. I'm also picturing Natalie just sitting in a house filled with other colored M&Ms right now. Like a ball pit. The other thing is, this is the third issue.

This dough was really hard to work with and I should have chilled it. And I was like kind of making this in a little bit of a rush like you that I just like didn't take the time. I should have just put this in the fridge for a couple hours. Let it sit there. Because when I waited, I made them in two batches. You can kind of tell the difference between the first batch ones, which are like kind

of these malformed orbs, and the second batch, which are much more uniform. Because by the time the batch had like kind of solidified, the dough had solidified a little bit. They were a lot easier to roll out and make into little balls of the baking sheet. That said, these are my red velvet chocolate chunk and M&M cookies. Wow. Nice. I'm excited to try. I'll just throw these this way.

You gonna take one? Oh yeah, I'll take one. Now is red velvet, I know it's a thing, but, and it used to be like huge. Remember everything was like red velvet cupcakes and stuff? Yeah, there was a big red velvet trend. Yeah. Is there a different taste to red velvet

or is it just like a look? No, it has a little bit of a taste because I think it's the buttermilk that's involved. Yeah. Ah yes. Because it's like a chemical reaction. For the longest time, I thought it was food coloring that makes it red and some of the recipes

do call for food coloring, but no, it is a chemical reaction. The baking soda, I think, working with the butter or the cocoa powder working with the buttermilk that caused it to have a red hue. These are nice, Nick. These are really nice. Mm. Yeah, the texture I think is a little cakey too.

Mm-hmm. It's good. I think you made the right choice to go with dark chocolate over the white chocolate. Yeah, exactly. I think white chocolate would have been overpowering. Yeah, I think that, I think white chocolate is a lot of times used as like, Oh, well they have cream cheese icing.

So it's like cream cheese frosting. So like, okay, we'll have a, we'll throw a white chocolate in there, but it's like, it's not really the same flavor profile. So it's own thing. I don't know, white chocolate, I'm never into it. You know what? Yeah, I'm not, I don't like it. I think the M&Ms are a great idea because it gives a nice little crunch as well.

Yeah, it needed more M&Ms. If I could do it over again, I would chill the dough and put in like twice as many M&Ms. Oh, you did a great job. Yeah, really nice. Thanks, buddy. I love the texture of them. Yeah.

Good cakey texture. Actually, yeah, I just got my M&M's by it and it was... That's what it needed. It honestly, maybe not even the chocolate chunks, maybe if I just made them with M&M's. I think you can get baking colors at Michael's. I should have gone to like a specialty store. Or just like the Michael's in a...

Oh, Sautel has them, I think. Oh, yeah? I will say, if you came in with just a bowl of green M&Ms, you would get disqualified, just so you know. That was, it was that way you were trying. I think they're very, I think they're very tasty, Nick. I think you did a great job. Thanks buddy.

Yeah, really nice. How do you feel? Do you feel good? Well, I know. See those green M&Ms make you horny. It's totally horny. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha napkins. Hey. Because there's one thing the Headcome studio is always lacking, it is paper products. So if anyone needs a napkin. That's unacceptable.

I'll take a napkin, thank you. There you go. I know that I bought pie tins. Up in a minute. And cooling racks and milk, but these red napkins are over the top. I just, I think it's weird that you bought vitamins.

And you admitted to it. I don't know. Do the advertisers, do you have like, are Athletic Green's going to be mad? Yeah, Athletic Green's is fuming. Yeah, Athletic Green's going to be pissed off. Though they probably do like the green M&M's, so I think that's probably, I think we probably want them back a little bit. That's a good brand synergy.

Let's buy some more spots. Look here from a 60 second to a 90 second. Oh, Jesus. Battery comes in at seven minutes. I think you did a great job. Yeah, lovely. The dog woke up. Congrats, Nick. Thanks, Hanford. When you guys bake, Evie, you know your way around the kitchen,

but do you get a little nervous about it? Like when we said cookies, I was like, oof, this could go either way. These could be good. On one ass cheek the whole time. And same thing with the fucking pies we had to do. Because it's not my comfort zone. I cook in saute pans and cast iron skillets in the oven all the time. I'm doing that shit all the time.

You can keep going with those. You can keep going, yeah. My thing with cookies is they come out not done all the time. I'm doing that shit all the time. Because you can keep going with those. You can keep going, yeah. My thing with cookies is they come out not done all the way. Exactly. You can make a mistake, you can correct on the fly, you know, you can adjust the seasoning. It's so much easier, so much more margin for error.

And also just so much flexibility, because like a baking, if you bake something wrong, it can just like not work. It can just like completely collapse. Yeah, we ran into that. I think that when we were discussing what to do, I thought cookies seemed easiest. And then when we were, I mean, I picked,

you know, I picked one that was difficult too, but then after doing it, it's like cookies are difficult. All of them are, they're not easy. They're not easy to do. Yeah. And if I had known that I'm like, oh, like doing a stuffing is easier than making some cookies.

Making cookies is a pain in the ass. It looks like the next thing we're gonna be tasting is a Jemmy's paw. Oh no. No way on that. Oh, she loves you. Can I say earlier in the podcast, there was a moment where Mitch or Eva was talking

and Jemmy kind of shifted and Weiger, you did a, you looked exactly like the T1000 when he comes into the world just kind of like. What is this? What is this carbon-based organism? It was just the weirdest like. I was so disgusted. She looked like she was about to make a point is the thing.

She sort of sat up. I got something to say. I've never seen a dog get weirded out with an interaction more than Jemmy has with wives. Play it cool. Are you okay buddy? Hanford, do you want to go next or who wants to go next? I guess Hanford or Eva. Well, this is usually where the host steps in. Hanford, you're up. We can't actually taste yours. Okay let's... Okay, I made something. Now, I also use some M&Ms, Wagger.

I use mini M&Ms in mine. Now, I was excited to do this because I had a... I've been wanting to make these for a while. Peanut butter cookies, you know? Where you put the fork down in it. Oh, yeah. And I just used like a, whatever, Betty Crocker mix or whatever.

And I did peanut butter cookies with They're not burned on the bottom Oh Oh, that's good That's great I believe and you. And check this out. It made more cookies than that, but I did a super cookie. Oh my gosh. Look at that.

It's a pancake-sized fucking flapjack cookie. Are you gonna take those to work? I might take them to work, but I might be a little selfish. Yes, I'll be eating all 36 of these this weekend. That's awesome. Yes, I should bring those to work because I don't want them in my home. I like it because it's also very Christmasy. Yes.

Yeah, I wanted to go for the Christmas colored M&Ms, but I couldn't find them yet. That big cookie, if you leave that out for Santa, it's going to weigh down as sleigh. He's going to gonna crash probably. Are you dunking that bad boy? I am dunking that bad boy, and guess what? I got some milk the other day, I was ordering milk online when I was sick. How about we start that again? You got sick and you thought to order a big batch of milk?

I was like, alright, I gotta get some milk. I gotta loosen up all this phlegm. I ordered a bunch of stuff, mostly like Gatorade and soup and stuff like that. But also, I needed milk, so I got it. And the website suggested it was like, try almond milk. So I did almond milk. And it is disgusting.

Oh, you're dipping the cookie in almond milk? I honestly thought when you first said it that you said gin. I thought for some reason that you said gin. That is funny. I want you to dip. You probably have a nice bar because of sloppy boys. Yeah. I want you to dip the cookie in hard alcohol. Tell us what it tastes like.

It's probably as good as almond. How about a big port wine? Yeah. Can you grab that big cookie and hold it up again? You mind doing that? I'm sure. Just to get a look at that bad boy. This isn't like a creepy fetish thing, is it Nick? I don't know, I just wanna see how big that cookie is.

He wants you to show the dog. This, no, I was gonna say that big cookie feels- For reference. Yeah, big, yeah. Feel iPhones. Certainly bigger than your iPhone. But I can text on this cookie, which is weird. Stupid waste of time.

No, that was great. What I'm gonna say is a waste of time, which is I feel like Big Cookie would have been like the premise of like a birthday boy sketch in like 2009. Yeah, you're right, birthday boys sucked. I forgot. Is it someone who brings a big cookie to a party? Exactly, yeah.

OK. Or it's like a potluck and someone brought one big cookie. I thought you were saying like big cookie, like big tobacco or something. That's also good. That maybe has more legs. Yeah.

That's maybe a birthday boys TV show. Uh, uh, uh, some stupid wraparound premise. Uh, Hanford, that, that, that big cookie, are what's your plan? Are you, are you going to eat it yourself or are you going to, what are you, what are you going to do? I'm going to see some friends tomorrow night. We're going to go over to their house and hang out. So maybe I'll bring, actually that's where I'll bring these cookies.

Not all of them. There's so many of them. Yeah. With the big one, I'll, I'll show off to my friends. My New York friends. Slice it into little wedges and then serve it like a little pizza. Yeah, I'll do the thing where I cut a little tiny slice

and then leave the slice and take the whole thing. And my friends will say, oh, that's so funny. I'll say, I'm not joking, bitch. Hey, I just want to quickly check. The friend's house you're going over to, it's not Shaq, right? Because if you're hyping up this big cookie, to him, it might just seem very normal size. Right, yeah. He'll be like, oh, you serve tiny cookies?

I said, it's Shaq. I don't know, the dog heard about the wedge of cookie that'll do. Well, Haver, those look very nice. And by the way, cookies can be sent through the mail. Yeah, just so you know, you can ship those nationwide. You can ship those if you want to. No postal regulations against that. Do you like, is that like a top combo for you, chocolate and PB?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. My favorite chocolate candy is Reese's. Yeah, oh yeah my like favorite chocolate candy is Reese's. Yeah, I love Reese's. But also peanut butter cookies I love and I like when people do like the whole Hershey kiss right in the middle. We contemplated those those cookies the the peanut butter ones with the chocolate kiss in the center. What are those called? I forget thumb print cookies. And he's posture right now, like just looks depressed.

All right. She's been listening to 55 minutes of dough. She's just readjusting. Is there a lot of traffic outside? Demi, Demi, don't go out there. A sara-mcglofflin PSA just about animals being around when Bill Boyes is on. In the arms of you.

All right, Eva, what do you got? Okay, I have a, also has peanuts in it. A spiced peanut shortbread. Whoa. Ooh. Spiced peanuts. Yes. I'm sorry.

I went to take a bite of my dessert and you reached over and got the cookies. I didn't help and my mom yelled at me at the same time. There's, Here you go. Look at those. Start here. These are, these have a fun form factor to them. I take a couple of these.

Yeah, there's a bunch and they're tiny. Wow. I'm going to take a couple too. They're short bread you said? These are short bread. Yeah. I'm holding this up to camera. It's.

Did you take one Eva? It's got like a. I ate a bunch earlier. It's there, there's smaller discs and discs, and they are kind of like ringed with some sort of, I mean, what is this on the outside? It's peanuts, sugar, salt, and black pepper. Oh, wow. Now, where's this recipe from?

These look so professional. They look like this could, I could have opened up a bag of cookies, and this is. Yeah, this looks like pepper and chives. Yeah, those look pretty uniform, that's great. This is cookbook author Molly Baas, and it's her new cookbook, More is More, had these cookies in it.

So this is interesting, because this is the kind of thing that sounds like it would be a vintage recipe. Oh yeah, no, it's a new one. Her cookbook just came out this week. I'm gonna take a bite. These are, they're fantastic. I love this. This is great. This is so good

This is great. Um, I love shortbread cookies. They're one of my favorite. Yeah They're very different and like I've never I've really never the black pepper. I've never tasted anything like it's great Thank you. It's fuck pepper and cardamom are the only spices What might even you you come at like the recipes that you bring in here, the food you bring in here usually is like pretty unique and like different, like with different spices and stuff. Do you think of it first and go, oh, let me see if I can find this type of thing,

or do you find the thing and say, oh, this would be good for? Oh, I just like dig around at different stuff. And also there's stuff like that's too complicated or has stuff I don't wanna mess with, like weird gel food coloring and stuff. I was looking at like different sort of very elaborate gingerbread cookies and I was like, I'm not making that.

But these popped up and I thought they looked really nice. And I never tasted like cookies with black pepper in them. So I was like. I love the black pepper. And I was gonna say like, what I really like is how salty these are. I mean, I'm a huge salt and sweet salt and sweet together guy Yeah, this this this really comes together nicely great texture to it too

Because it's like it's good. Sometimes you get these in there. They're they're dry guys But this this has like a you know, the right amount of moisture to it Well, they have a lot of peanuts in the dough too So they're kind of got a peanut base. You've been a salt and sweet guy since the snicker and Mountain Dew days. That's a... You remember... These are fantastic. Once again...

Really good. I mean, we joke about it every year, but you do win every year. You always do such a great job. There's a reason you back clean up. Mm-hmm. I did enter shortbread at the county fair this year. Wow. Oh.

Did you get any, did you win? I got second. Nice. Second or third? What's that? I got second. What color ribbon is that? I think it's red.

I got red ribbon, but in sugar cookies. They collapsed my category into all different types of sugar cookies, so I got second in sugar cookies, even though I entered shortbread, in the shortbread category. Wow. These are fantastic. You guys remember when this the birthday boys did we would do a sketch every once in a while where it was like Old ladies giving away Halloween candy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember I My

Old lady character gave away I think weird cookies was the thing and So I would bake cookies for the show and put them in little bags, like little tiny cookies and throw them out to the audience. Weird cookies. But I would make it, right? I would make them with, I would just get like a mix, like a sugar cookie mix,

but instead of sugar, I would use salt. Oh no. So there was like an extra little joke for the people that caught him and ate him. And I'd look out and they'd be like, that's so funny. You're pranking? I never knew that. That's really funny.

You're just pranking your own audience? Well, just get a little, if you happen to get one, you get a little fun little hat on. That's really great. Wow. Did you play an old man in that sketch or were you an old lady that just, and you just talked with an old man voice? I was the old lady, but I talked with like the other old man voice I did.

Yeah. You know, that old man, I, when I did that sketch about, what was it? An old man. Uh, this, this is, that was great. This is great. I loved it. Fantastic. Guys.

Yeah. I was excited that it came together. You know an off-color Christmas joke that like Mrs. Claus would make about Santa that's kind of like, he's like, oh, I hope that they leave some Christmas cookies out for me this year. And she's like, yeah, they should leave out

some shortbread cookies. He's got a small dick. I'm just's something about, it's like, it's always, he thinks it's the North Pole gives him an excuse or something, that it's cold. Oh yeah, it's the North Pole. I think that there are, I'm sure that, I mean there are definitely off-color Santa jokes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm sure that maybe the one you said isn't there somewhere. It's like a more like an American joke. I think it's like, I mean, there are definitely off-color Santa jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm sure that maybe the one you said isn't there somewhere. It's more like an area to explore, you know? I'm gonna say it's fully formed.

We can explore, we could write a joke book of off-color Santa jokes. Yeah, 101 off-color Santa jokes, I think we could do that. We could sell it. 101. Yeah, and it's a stocking stuffer. Eight pages?

Yeah. Is that like- No, I was laughing because 101 is just such a funny, like scholastic books thing. 101 or a thousand and one or whatever. Yeah. I feel like there's also a way to go with just writing a Christmas movie,

like as a scary movie. And it's just got all the Christmas jokes you want to throw in there. I mean, the Jack Frost, there's that Jack Frost scary movie, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where he, the snowman comes to life. The snowman comes to life and then he's like horny and he's a killer. And he moves his carrot nose. He moves his carrot, yeah. He moves his carrot to his, it's like a, it's, it's. He moves it to the bottom.

The sax makes it use it. The sax drags over so they, you know what? They can start production on a new Jack Frost. But the thing that's always wild is that there's like Jack Frost, they both have the same title. There's Jack Frost, the slasher movie. And then there's also Jack Frost, the Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton movie. Movie that's like, is that there's like Jack Frost, they both have the same title. There's Jack Frost, the slasher movie. And then there's also Jack Frost, the Michael Keaton movie

where the dad dies and then comes back as a snowman. And they came out around the same time, they're completely different. Written and directed by? Oh my God. Is it really? Our former boss, yeah. Troy Miller.

That's wild. That's wild. A very, one of our favorite old coworkers. That like also put Michael Keaton's career on ice for like almost a decade. Yeah, it's weird to think that he had like a comeback at a certain point, which I think was maybe the other guys. Was that it?

Where they were like, oh, Michael Keaton's in, he's really funny. But they're like, yeah, he had to just go away for a while, actor jail. It's so weird, because Troy Miller is such a sane man. It was good work. It's weird that it's weird to have such a crazy flop like that. I know.

This is paywall, right? I mean, he's like, it's his paywall. Yeah. He's so into directing and stuff that he would watch videos on the highway while I was driving a van full of people, So I don't understand. It's weird to me that he could ever make a flop like that. Yeah. Yeah, good thing this is paywall. He'll try to sue us. Why is another successful mashup?

Another successful mashup. I was just thinking there could be another set like Mrs. Claus joke or she like, she like holds up a candy cane and is like, the girth looks familiar. Oh my God. So do the stripes. So does the curve. So does the curve.

So does the curve. So does the curve. So does the curve. So does the curve. So does the curve. So does the curve. So does the curve. Dear Lord.

Dear Lord. So does the curve. So does the curve. So does the curve. So does the curve. So does the curve. You know, I'm sensitive about my peroneus. His perogies? Is it perone's disease? Oh, yeah, right, right, right. I've seen the carrot commercial. Anyways, I'm not going to get involved with it. My mother's here.

I can't get involved. Apologize to Mrs. Mitchell for making it up. I can't talk about this. I apologize, too. Apologize to get involved with it. My mother's here. I can't get involved with the spotry. Apologize to Mrs. Spichover. I can't talk about this. I apologize, too. Apologize to the dog, too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm eating chocolate right next to you. Oh, she forgives you. Sorry that I looked at you weird when you sat up. You're a good dog. You're a very good dog. And it's really nice that- Oh, she's licking you. It's nice that you're licking my forearm. You're as sweet as those cookies.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm that. Oh, she's licking you. It's like you're licking my forearm. You're as sweet as those cookies. Aw. Well, hey, I guess that'll wrap up the sixth annual Mash Off, Mash Off 6, The Chumpet, The Battle of the Five Cookies. It was only four cookies, and you know what?

I think everyone won. Eva Hanford, anything you'd like to plug? Eva, we'll start with you. Yes, I have an immersive show in LA the week after Thanksgiving. That's coming right up. That'll be like next week. It'll be in a few, it'll, if you're listening on Thursday, it'll be the week after.

So yeah, November 30th through December 3rd. The website to get tickets is the shape of the night dot com. It's got a really fun bunch of people in it. My Cassidy is in it. It's in Korea town in Los Angeles. Come check it out. What give us the URL one more time. The shape of the night. The shape of the night. Dot com dot com. We'll put that in the description too. And nightmares. There you go. What, uh, oh, okay. I was going to say what's like the tagline. Okay. It's a trippy dream. It's a trippy dream party with a bunch of stuff in it.

You do some good work. Those are the shows I've been to that you've put together are great. Oh, thank you. At any point as an audience member put on a gurney and called a stupid bitch. I mean, it's the whole show. It's just those guys. You get to watch me be in that show. That's the whole show.

Because that's not all I ever dream about anymore. You stupid bitch. I did want to check that out after you told us about it. It's like insane. Hanford, any plugs? Oh, yes. The Sloppy Boys. Listen to the Sloppy Boys

podcast and the albums. And also the NFL. I'm not doing anything with them, but it's a wild season out there. Right. I have one more plug. The morning show on Apple, I'm not involved in it, but this last season, Reese Witherspoon's character

was involved in January 6th. And got shot into space in a rocket. Everyone should be watching this show, it's incredible. That rocks. We gotta watch that. Wow. I just got an apple receiver there. I'm gonna check in.

Oh, it's great. Tignataro's like an evil, like conniving bad guy. It's crazy. Anyway, watch it. We gotta watch that. Yeah. I wanna say that the fifth cookie is the friendship that we've all had.

Oh, how about that? Aw. That's nice. And Mitch, you know with the Sag After Strikes resolution, you made a joke earlier, but you should plug your show that you should be very proud of. Oh. Um.

I thought you wanted me to genuinely plug Sound of Freedom. Twisted Metal. Check out just Twisted Metal. We can say it. Watch the whole season. You're so good on it. Thank you. Yeah, you're great in the image. The Twisted Metal month came to a quick end for us. We were recording two episodes, even before The Strike was even,

one before The Strike was even thought of, and then the other one when it felt like it was coming on. But it's on Peacock for people who haven't checked it out. You can get a, you can sign up for a free subscription for Peacock to watch the show and you can binge it. And Mitch shows up in the second episode. So stick with it through the pilot and check out Mitch in episodes two and three and beyond.

Thank you, Wags. Mitch, you probably don't know about a season 2 yet, do you? I do not know. I don't know anything yet. But you'd say if you did. I'm sure they're squawking down a peacock about it or, you know. I think they probably happen right now. We're bringing the show back.

Who do we eat? But we need to cut one person. Everyone's like, sweet tooth! What? The most recognizable, iconic thing? All right. Check it out. Check the show. Hey, check out the Tonight Show that Hanford's working on every night.

Hey, you know, I've been on a couple. We put a, I did a video for them. It was really fun. My mom and sisters, my sister sent it to the, the family text chain with me and my mom. Really? Oh, nice. Wow.

There you go. She sends a lot of, she sends TikToks and stuff. It's getting annoying. Wait, was that your Comic-Con video? There was that, and then one I did where I talked to people leaving the Exorcist. Oh, I gotta watch it. It was great.

I love your videos. I think I posted on my gram. Thank you. Your fashion video is like one of my favorite things of The Strike. I love it so much. Thanks. It was really funny walking around Soho and like looking at signs and yelling

and people like cool, like hip people looking at me. You don't have a camera crew with you. You're just. I'm hip in my world. Your world. One last plug for cookies. Treat yourself. You deserve a cookie. Don't sleep on these cookies, folks.

They're good. Don't feel guilty for having a cookie. You deserve a cookie. I agree. Have a cookie. It's fine, you don't feel bad about it. We'll link to your, have a cookie. Just have a cookie.

We'll link to everyone's recipes too, I think we can send those out. Yeah, we can circulate that. Have a cookie. Have a cookie. And hey. Have a cookie. Have a cookie.

That's the mash off. That's this week's Stowboys Double. Bye, have a cookie. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Can I say one last thing that I'm thankful for about this cookie mash-off? I am so happy this didn't become... I thought Weiger was going to turn this into an ookie-cookie situation. I'm so glad. Oh my God.

I would have had to have done it. I would have had to have done it. I would have had to have eaten it. And you wouldn't have had to. Wow, let's get the hell out of here. Bye. What's Oogie Cookie mean? Hey buddy, we got some new merch for the holidays from our buddies at Kinship Goods. Wow, we got hoodies, Wags.

We got sweatshirts. Wow, we got koozies. That's right, number one clown ass dad koozies. Yeah, that's right, we got it. You can give it to your dad for the holidays. What a gift. We got stickers, sticker sheets. Bumper stickers.

Individual stickers. Check all the out. Stickers for you, stickers for your car. And also, Snow Gators t-shirts. That's right. The bit, not even we like. We made a shirt of it. You want to think about those snow gators they got up north in the Toronto bayou. Wait, what color are they? Oh, those gators? They're white. Wow. I don't know, Bayou? Wait, what color are they? Oh, those Gators? They're white. Wow!

Wow! KinshipGoods.com slash doughboys. That's the URL for all our new winter merch. Get it for the holidays for the doughboys lover in your life. Yeah. Or for yourself. Don't stuff coal into their stockings. Put one of these dumb gifts instead.

KinshipGoods.com slash doughboys. That was a hate gun podcast. Hey buddy, the doughboys year end finale will be live and live streamed. Wow. Saturday, December 14 at 730pm Pacific at dynasty typewriter in LA you will be able to watch a live stream as well. Join me and Mitch and special guests for a holiday wrap up of 2024. Wow. live stream tickets available at birdfuck.com