Doughboys - Unlocked! Xi'an Famous Foods with Mike Hanford & Paul Rust (LIVE)

Episode Date: January 2, 2020

UNLOCKED! We're joined live in NYC by Mike Hanford (The Birthday Boys, The Sloppy Boys) and Paul Rust (Netflix's Love, Don’t Stop or We’ll Die) to review a family owned chain serving western Chinese cuisine: Xi'an Famous Foods. Plus, a live edition of the Snack Stack.Recorded live at the Gramercy Theatre in NYC on September 6, 2019. Sources for this week's intro include:The Phenomenon Of Xi'an Famous Foods In New York City by Heng Shaohttps://www.forbes.com/sites/hengshao/2013/07/30/restaurant-chain-brings-xian-flavors-to-new-york-city/#1687580c33e6Boom Brands: Xi’an Famous Foods by Alex Yablonhttp://nymag.com/news/business/boom-brands/xian-famous-foods-2013-10/Based on an Old Family Recipe by Steven Sternhttps://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/08/dining/based-on-an-old-family-recipe.html?_r=0Silk Road, North China - Ancient Trackway in China by C. Michael Hoganhttps://www.megalithic.co.uk/article.php?sid=18006A taste of Xi’an in North London from Fuscia Dunlophttp://www.fuchsiadunlop.com/a-taste-of-xian-in-north-london/Let the Meals Begin: Finding Beijing in Flushing by Julia Moskinhttps://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/30/dining/30flushing.html?pagewanted=2&mtrref=undefined&gwh=157DEE7A05CCBCC19E8D98779294BCE5&gwt=pay&assetType=REGIWALLXi’an Corporate Websitehttps://www.xianfoods.com/#about-sectionWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Not spicy equals not as good. A personal message from CEO Jason Wang. This is the text heading of a flyer prominently displayed in the lobby of a Chinese chain that's taken over New York City in the past decade and a half. Founded by Wang and his father in 2005 in a tiny basement storefront in a queen shopping mall, Resquant quickly built a loyal following of both Chinese immigrants and born and bred New Yorkers with its hook. The cuisine of a city in the Wang family's native Shenzhi province located in northwestern China. That city's food is described by the corporate website as combining Chinese and Middle Eastern flavors and often incorporates lamb as a protein,

Creating a unique profile in the Chinese food saturated Big Apple. After opening the restaurant's steadily average adding a new location per year, Eventually growing its footprint of 15 outlets across the five boroughs. Its delectable and affordable fare has led to glowing profiles by food celebrities like Andrew Zimmern and the late Anthony Bourdain. And even a visit by Bobby Flay, who'd be ill equipped to take on Wunderkin's chef Wang in his show Beat Bobby Flay. And as noted by Wang himself in his impassioned warning, those with mild mannered palates need not apply. Its house chili oil made from 30 different spices generates heat levels that are, if not searing, at least sizzling. And so 14 years after a two-employee father-son restaurant opened in the basement of a shopping mall,

The entire city of New York has developed an obsession with the food of a city in China. This week on Doughboys, Sian Famous Foods. Sian Famous Foods Sian Famous Foods We're having fun. Guys, welcome to Doughboys Live. I'm Nick Weigher. How you doing New York? Before we go any further, this week's roast is courtesy of Rob A. Let me introduce my co-host, Caramelo Anthony, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

Spoon Man Spoon sounds like boo. You did this to yourself. It's not my fault. Hey. What's that? Please escort him out. Start spreading the food.

We're eating today. I forget the actual lyrics. We'll make a brand new start of it in old chew, New York. Chew pork. Very good. That's very good, Mitch. That's all I got for tonight. Mitch, you know me. I'm a little bit more hip hop, so I've got more of a chew York state of mind.

Let's hear it. I guarantee you don't know the lyrics. No, I don't. No, I don't at all. I didn't anticipate being called out on it. Chew pork state of mind? Is that gilding the lily? Yes, that works. Chew pork. Sing it. Plate of mind?

Chew pork plate of rind. Pork rinds. Parentheses pork rinds? Yeah. Mitch, we should mention to everyone that we are wearing our official tour shirts, which are on sale at the merch... This is the cheapest plug. This is a cheap plug. We got to move inventory.

So check out these Feast Coast Tour 2019 shirts sold out of XLs and XXLs. So sorry, everyone. Plenty of smalls remain, so... I should warn you that the graphic printed on the shirt smells like malt vinegar, so... Great, great. That's going to sell them. The more you buy, the less you song carries. That's true. We can't afford... You song doesn't have health insurance.

He can't afford dis-surgery. Hey, Nick. How you doing? I'm okay. We're both grumpy earlier. I feel like we softened a little bit. We're around such lovely people. The guests we have today are just such jovial, friendly, happy dudes. And I think we were back there and I think we both chilled out a little bit. I think so. I think you're right. Part of the reason we were grumpy, we got into New York City.

Some people call it Chew York City. We got into New York City. Now they do. And it was raining. We weren't anticipating rain. Let me tell you. Weigur looked like a fucking New York City noob. Let me tell you this right now. We got off the subway.

He got fucking sucked in right away to a $5 umbrella. He was like, oh, please let me purchase that. First of all, you were like, it's raining. It's not too bad. And you walked out and you went, it's really bad. We need to get a car or something. We got soaked immediately. We got soaked immediately. It was like To Kill Him was out there. Is that what his name is?

What? Who was the Shamu who died? Tilikum? Is that what it was? Oh, no. Who was the Shamu who had an awful life and then died in captivity? Which one was that? Tilikum. Okay, I was close.

Tilikum? His name is Tilikum. That's weird. I'll tell you, Tilikum is what I do after I ate some Tilamook. It's good. It's quality cheese. You cum your pants. No, I don't do that.

But you got a... We got soaked. You got a $5 umbrella and then you went out into the rain and immediately you went upwards. It broke immediately and you was like, Oh, no! It inverted. It was like a Mr. Bean bit,

but somehow completely unfunny. Yeah, I knew that I'd fucked up when I asked the guy how much is an umbrella and he was like $5 and handed him the money and he took it like so quickly. Like, holy shit, that worked. All the rubes getting off at Union Station and that I was the one guy

who took him up on it. But yeah, we got soaked. We both got extra grumpy. I walked over to where our lodging and you hopped in a car. Okay, you don't have to tell people that. I beat you there. Yes, congratulations.

You were soaked. I was out of my wet clothes and you were still sitting in that cab. Yeah, all right, you beat me, okay? Yeah, you won. It's not a competition. Yeah, it kind of is. All right, yeah, it is and I won. But yeah, it was so, it was so,

and that kind of put us in a different scene than we had to take a train out to Queens to go to one of our chains and it was a whole ordeal. Are you excited to be in New York? You come every so often. The home of the Ghostbusters. Yes, famously the home of the Ghostbusters.

The answer to the call Ghostbusters, yes. Oh, yes, I like the new Ghostbusters. What are you doing? No, I'm just saying. Those are the ones everyone thinks of. Yes. But yeah, it's the home of Ghostbusters.

What are you doing? You don't bury your head in your hands. This table is weirdly high. It's very high. Wait, hold on. Yeah, it's too high. That's why the show is bad. Hi, we're off arcane.

Hi. Jesus Christ. Six minutes and 28 seconds in and just dead air. That's what our energy level is after doing three days of shows. I heard

the capacity for tonight. And we're at capacity. Hell yeah. You're gonna like this, Nick. 420, my man. Now you're speaking my language, buddy. Oh yeah, you gotta do your drop. Oh, there's so many people

I don't want to play the drop. 0 for 5 for remembering to play the drop on the tour. I will tell you that Emma just texted me, drop! Emma, take it away, please. This is cool.

You say omelette, you fucking freak. It's omelette. What was that? You don't remember you saying that? What was I saying? I couldn't hear it. Omelette. You were saying omelette. Yes. You're saying it wrong.

I have this one short and sweet for you. Nick F. Weiger is a music machine that's dropped master Jeff Oakley. Thanks, Jeff. Yeah, you revealed that your middle name was F. Legally, it's F. Legally, his middle name is the letter F.

Yeah, you have to get these, what is it called, the real ID to fly domestically now? At least in the state of California. I think that's only for certain types of people. You know, you have to get that real ID and then you have to go tell all your neighbors about it. So inconvenient.

Yeah, I went in and I got the real ID and I had to bring in all my identification. You need like six different forms of ID in order to... Has anyone done this? It's a huge pain in the ass. Mark. And they told me there, like the woman behind the counter was like,

I told her my middle name was Frank. She was like, I believe you, but according to all these documents, your middle name is legally F. Nicholas F. Weiger. God. Hey, that F could be anything. Your parents...

What the fuck is going on with you? Don't bring my parents into this. They're fine. They're not where this went wrong. We should get our guests. Nick, we should get our guests. We absolutely should. They're funny. They're funny.

They're funnier than us. Yeah, I know. That's our trick. We booked people funnier than us to be our guests. First up, for the birthday boys and the sloppy boys, give it up for Mike Hanford! Wow! Hi, guys.

Our next guest is from Netflix's Love and Don't Stop or We'll Die. Make some noise for Paul Russ! Oh! Hello. Boys, let's get silly. Why?

What are you talking about? I don't want to get silly here. Come on. Can I say I heard you talking about this high table backstage? You were in line. The table is high. The table is high.

The table's been sparking some dupes. Did you say there's 420 people here too? There is 420 people. Not a coincidence. Yeah, we did that intentionally. I don't know what to do with this. This is the issue. The table plus these stands,

and then wait, hold on. I kind of be like here. You have to sit very high. Put your arms behind your back like a fish. I think that looks cool. It's like I have to have very proper posture. I'm going to go handheld as well. All right.

Oh, wait, Nick. Yes. Before we go any further, I'd tell you there'd be some surprises. And there's another guest. I thought the surprise was going to be that you were going to remember to play your job. There's another guest,

but they have to check in via video. Oh boy, okay. So Emma, if we can dim the lights, or I don't know if you can make it more dark. There we go. Let's play this video. Okay. Nick, welcome to New York City. But, no soup for you.

But if you want, I have a delicious hot salad for you. Spoon nation for life. Wow. I like that. The soup Nazi is great. Do you know the name of the character actor? Who did that?

He must just be built as a soup Nazi on cameo, right? Yeah, but his name is on there too. Look him up for God's sake. I'm going to look him up because I want to shout him out. How would you do that to me? I don't know. I don't know if you remembered it from looking him up. He said no hot salad for you. I know I liked it.

There's nothing wrong with the content of the cameo. What a world this is. That you could have the soup Nazi. Wait a minute. You knew he said no hot salad for you, right? No, yeah, I heard it. Okay.

No, it was good. Thank you. What's his name? The actor who played the soup Nazi, Larry Thomas. I bet there was some on set, some confusion with Larry David. They'd go, hey Larry, and he'd go, huh? They'd go,

David not Thomas. That wasn't Jerry Seinfeld. I've never seen the show. That wasn't Jerry. No, yeah. You combine their last names, you get the owner of Wendy's. You mean Larry? Larry David and Larry Thomas? Larry Thomas.

David Thomas. Larry Thomas. It's true. That's the truth. We were so, this will lead to this tangent. We were so exhausted because we did two shows last night in Philadelphia.

We did two shows in D.C. And let me tell you, Philly sucks shit. Hey, hey, I got friends from Philly. What? What? Do you think the time is right for a spoof of the Tom Hanks movie and call it Philadelphia? Sort of the epic movie of that age drama.

Yes, yes. Yeah, I get it. Sort of the scary movie version of it. Yes. Yeah, I'd be on board. You're on board? Okay. Watching Philadelphia, I was like, there's so much to be spoofed in this thing. So we got off the train and we were walking to the chain

that we will review in the late show and we were so like fucking... Did you not say the name of it? I mean, I could say it, but why? No, don't say it. Okay, I'm not going to say it. No. I might say it. No, I don't want to now.

So we were walking to that chain and we saw Wendy's and you and I for a second were like, fuck, we should just go to Wendy's. We really just actually wanted something we liked. We liked White Castle too. Yeah, right.

They both start with W. So we're good. We're good. Are you one of those Philadelphia fucks? Get her out of here. Sorry.

Thank you for coming to the show, ma'am. So we're talking about a very popular beloved Chinese food chain here in the city today. I want to start more broadly. Mitch, I know you're a freak for American Chinese food.

Like, you love it. What do you think of? Oh. You love Chinese food. You're a huge fan of it. What are you talking about? I feel like you have some specific affection for Chinese food. Am I wrong about that?

No, you're right. But freak for American Chinese food? All right, sorry. You like, you like it. You like Chinese food. I don't like, I just was weird implication that I'm doing weird stuff

with duck sauce or something. I wasn't implying the green goblins cadre of freaks, the Sinister Six. I wasn't saying you were like the Swiss miss of dough boys. I love, I do.

I love Chinese food, yes. Yeah, you like it. I just want to get a baseline of where our fandom for Chinese food is. I know it's a beloved cuisine, but yes, you like it a lot. And I've always said I love east coast Chinese food better.

You do have that opinion. Handman, where do you stand on Chinese food? I am the freak for it. Yeah, I'm a freak for that stuff, man, I love it. I love it all. And I love the east coast and west coast style.

Southern Chinese food, I like too. Toronto has good Chinese food, Vancouver, them too, up north. Yeah. And how about yourself? Oh, I'm just free. What, what dishes do you

guys, what are your go-tos? You're going to a Chinese place. What are your faves? The list must go on. I love beef teriyaki. That's Japanese. Shame, shame.

It's been a long tour. I do get beef teriyaki in my Chinese food place in Quincy. And I load it up with duck sauce. It's like it's absurd that we...

My husband's mic got cut. Oh good, this is fun. Here we go. Can I hear me? I was getting too close to the truth. It's absurd that we, with our baseline of knowledge, that we host a food podcast. We don't know what we're talking about.

It's like a We Watch Movies podcast and we're trying to remember who directed Raiders of the Lost Ark. Was that Kurosawa? You guys would probably think it's Steven Sandwich. Steven Iceberg Lettuce. Steven Mealberg. Just another pitch.

It's lateral. That's good. That's another one. Boring. What about Steven Spielberger? Oh, that's good. I just thought of that. I just thought.

I don't know, I just came up with that. What would be on his burger, I wonder? Now, now somebody who's who's so food obsessed crazy on their podcast, who do they think the director of New York's own director of Taxi Driver and Raging Bull

What would that name be? Martin Score Stacy That's right. That's right. That is correct answer. We're going to need a EMT,

I think, but just having it. What, you think somebody with a silly food name directed Raging Bull? No, it's Martin Scorsese. I'm having a blast up here. I'm sorry if you guys aren't, but I'm having fun. Paul, how long have you been in New York now?

I know you're spending some time here, but you're someone who's been in LA for a while. I think some time here. Why you're a peak behind the curtain? I've been here for a couple months. Oh, a lot of fun. Did you live in the city previously? No, never. This is the longest I've been in the city.

Wow. What do you think so far? How has your diet changed as someone who was spending a lot of time in LA previously? More hot dogs, perhaps? More hot dogs. And do you have a regional specific way

you say pizza? Pizza. Oh, I've been loving the hot dogs and pizzas. Yes. No, it's great. I feel like, I don't know, I think I might

love New York. Wow. I don't know. Maybe all five burrows. Wow. Nick, you know what we realized today? We've never had any of the warm nuts that they sell on the street.

Do you know how there's warm nuts stands? I've never had warm nuts before. Are they good? They do? Are they really? No, this guy says no. They were here saying no. Are you in a spotlight? Are you part of the show?

They're not warm when you get them. They're not warm when you get them. When were they warm? Other people say he's full of shit. What? Let him speak. By the way, Mitch,

this guy is wearing a baseball hat, a flannel shirt over a Dough Boys tee. He's got a beard. I think he's here to close your loop. Damn. Future me looks fucking good. Now, Paul, in the time you spent here or one of your prior visits,

had you ever been to the chain we're discussing today, and I'm doing my best to pronounce it Xeon Famous Foods. I think it's a proximate of how it's supposed to be said. It's Veon Famous Fods. Fuck. A little embarrassing, Weiger.

There's one O in the name, and I thought it was a typo. There's an Oomla. You didn't even see it. No, I had never been. Never been. What with their plethora of beans on the menu? That's the first thing that stood out to me.

Right. There's a lot of beans when you walk in. And the bean man who welcomes you there. You have to shake his hand. Yeah, that's clear. We get it. You're in a bean costume. We know. Yeah, he says, I'm the bean man.

And you look at him and he says, So now what? What? You tell us, bean man. And he's like, wanna fart. They're like, I wanna fucking eat, man. It's disgusting. I don't hear that shit. And they says, cut me and you cut him a little bit

and beans spill out of the side of him. His blood is beans? His blood is beans. Well, the one we went to, there was blood. It's not like blood is me. It's not like my blood is me. Yeah, but this is a whole different thing. Strange.

This is a bean man. I don't know if you guys experienced this. While I was there, the beans started crying and said, I miss my home planet. I had to console him a little bit. He opened up to me too. He's like, I miss my home planet. I was like, where is it at?

And he's like, in the galaxy of hornel. What? I guess that's where beans live in the hornel. That would make sense, right? The galaxy of hornel. It's wild, but that's where they live. That's what he said. I wish he was here.

I wish that was the... I wish he was here. It would be a fascinating interview. I guess he's doing well enough. Do I bleed beans? I thought you said plead beans like that. In court. We'll cut my arm later tonight.

I thought you said plead beans too. I did say bleed beans. No, plead beans. Well, your honor, I plead beans. I plead beans. Or your doctor... Doctor, I bleed beans. Yeah, so it depends on who you're talking to.

That would have helped. Some context for who you're having this conversation with. You're talking about like some sort of T2 style... Cut your forearm open and see if beans come out. Yes. Hey, whether we're talking to an attorney or a doctor, we know we're at the huckstables.

Oh, what? You loved that show. And you're offended that their professors were a doctor and a lawyer? By the way, who directed Terminator 2? James Hammerin? Or his wife, Linda Hamilton? Wait, did you say James Cameroon?

No, I said James Hammerin. Oh, what about James Cantaloupe? That's also good. It's not good, but we're having fun. Yeah. That's what's important. I'm not, but seems like other people are. Anyways, back to the bean man.

Yes, bean man. So he's supposed to be here. I mean, he is on cameo. We should have done that. We had a... You didn't do anything with cameo. Those were surprises for you. You had nothing to do with it.

It was a fun thing I did for you. I enjoyed it. I like that one. Hug him. Hug him. Hug me. I don't want to start that cheer yet. You want me to hug Mitch? Yeah!

Right? That's not what I was saying. Hug Mitch! Hug Mitch! You're so pissed. I'm waiting! Hug Mitch! Hug Mitch!

That was nice. I will say... God, he was rock hard. I was buzzing into my back. Mitch, when Wacker patted you on the back, an enormous amount of dust came off. I'm a dust man, folks. And it was...

Creepy. Huh? Kiss him! I'm not going to kiss him. This is why, Mitch, I told you to put microphones in the audience. This is quickly becoming a house party. Kiss him! We're not doing seven minutes in heaven up here.

We're having a show. It wouldn't be up here, Nick. It would be under the table. That's right. It would be under the table. We can kill seven minutes. Let's see if this happens. I want to try something. Here's what happened with Jeffrey Epstein.

So the... That's Clear Channel. Clear Channel just came and took his mic. When he went out, he was like, So I was on his jet. We went to the Zion Famous Foods... You went Epstein? You sick fucks. I didn't go with Epstein.

Although, you know, he did live in the city and I wonder if he'd been. Ooh. I feel like there's a chance he got at least... He got Grubhub and they brought him to the Zion Famous Foods at some point. Why do you know so much about this? I'm just saying, like a guy who's like in the city a lot and probably had a lot of disposable income

and probably at some point heard about this hot food spot and wanted to try it out. So yeah, those spicy cumin lamb hand-ripped noodles you guys enjoyed, you also enjoyed them Jeffrey Epstein. Well, his guards and stuff told us today when we took the tour that he loved it. That's right. By the way, you need a full day for that tour.

There's a lot to see in the townhouse. We made it an hour and a half and we realized this is a five-hour, six-hour tour. You need some time. It's weird, the opening to Epstein's Mansion there's like a little baby version of you as an angel. A little terubic thing, a big painting on the wall.

A painting also of me, is that what you're saying? Yeah. I fucked it up a bit. It's fine. We went to the location by... I gotta say honestly though, his house probably has some cool like passages and stuff. What?

I'm saying take away all the bad stuff. If you wanted to convert it into... Forget about that for a second. It could be a chill place for an escape room if you want it. So we went to the Grand Central location.

It was again Grand Central Station. We went to the one by there on Fifth Avenue stop. Yeah, but it was on what street? Fifty-fifth. Forty-fifth street. Thank you. We went to the four... Oh, B-man is here. B-man. We went to the one on Forty-fifth street.

Me, Mitch, and Handman. And I will say this because a lot of... If you're a neophyte to Xion famous foods, if you're maybe someone who doesn't live in the city, you may... Maybe you go to a Chinese restaurant, maybe you share a lot of dishes. A lot of these dishes are not easy to share.

And in particular, the ones I would say that maybe are a little bit of a struggle to share are the hand-wrapped noodles, which are very, very good, but it's one big old noodle. Like, you got to hand-writ that. It's a bubble-tape of noodle. It is a bubble-tape.

It's a bubble-tape concept. I said that at the restaurant and told Nick I'd say it here. And I thought he would laugh and laugh like he said he was going to. I loved it. You loved it. You blew right by it. And I said at the restaurant,

oh, I should save that for the show. I'll laugh when you say it. I'll make you look like the king in New York. I said you ought to do that. Holy shit! I didn't know there was an audience back there in the... Wow! What a metaphor, Mitch.

You don't know how deep your audience goes. Yeah. They've been awfully quiet. And now they're offended that they're leaving. Another metaphor. Yes, Weigert, I don't know if they've shot the lady in the Tramp Live Action TV show or movie yet.

They have. I think they have, yeah. Well, I was going to say it'd be a good place to do it because the noodle is one big noodle. That would be a fun update. Yeah, but they already shot it. So they can't. But I mean, they...

They do reshoots of movies. Not this one. The dog's picture locked. I play a mouse in the new lady in the Tramp Live Action. Do you really? Yeah, yeah. Really?

In the scene, you know, the famous scene where he pushes the meatball over to the lady. Yeah. It cuts the meat. As the mouse going, I wish that was cheese. That's good. Really? Yeah.

That's crazy because sometimes on spaghetti, there is cheese, like grated cheese. And it's interesting that the writer wouldn't think that far ahead and say, we're going to have the mouse in there for sure. What should this line be? We talked about that on set. Aren't there cheese on meatballs?

Does this make sense? And Stanley Kubrick was like, shut the fuck up. Yeah. That's tough. You were on set? Yes. He had to do the mocap for the mouse. That's how they do it.

Of course. Wasn't this movie... Paul, you'll let me know if this is real. Wasn't this the first movie to use Shrinky Dinky technology? Use it successfully, I should say. Yeah. And when they blew me back up, I was like,

can you keep an extra part short? Oh, for the wife. Wait, wait. Traditionally, that's not how it goes. Make it real small. So small that the vast reverence can't shoot out come.

And you all set this on set. Got it. Stanley Kubrick. Shall I just go through the dishes we got? Is that where to start? Well, do you want to talk more about that excitingly long noodle? You know, I wish that there was

Shrinky Dink technology for the noodles and there were just multiples of them because there was too long. Oh, Shrinky Dink technology for many industries. Yes. Once I got a chunk of that noodle on my share plate, I found it a lot of fun

to eat some of it and just sort of snip it off with my teeth. And I think if I had that dish all to myself, it would be just a hoot. I'm having a blast. But you weren't having fun because you were with us? Is that... I mean, those aren't the words,

exact words I'd use, but yeah. No, I was doing... I mean, the dishes were hard to share. That's all I'm saying. Well, it's because we were also sitting against the wall. All the tables were against the wall. So we all had to just eat looking at the wall. And that's...

You told us not to speak. You said this is how I normally eat. You just looked at the wall. I need one sense out to make the other four work. So the hand-wrapped noodles dishes we got. Spicy cumin lamb, hand-wrapped noodles, and spicy and tingly beef hand-wrapped noodles

in soup. We got those two. Soup. And now I know the lamb is one of their signature dishes. And it's one that's talked about a lot. I've seen some rankings of the entire menu, and that's one that a few people have at the very top of the list. I'll just say that dish is a home run.

It's delicious. It's so, so good. The sauce is great. The lamb is great. The texture of the noodles is... You know, like I was saying, it's like fun to eat. And just like... I don't know, it's like spicy, but not... I think you feel the heat,

but I don't feel like it's so aggressively off-puttingly spicy, especially if you're like me and you're something of a heat seeker. You like a... You like to eat spicy, spicy fare. It absolutely delivers on that. Mitch, what did you think of those spicy cumin lamb hand-wrapped noodles?

You guys like that? Yeah! No, they... They shouted out no, and they cheered to get me to stop. I'll tell you what, when I was walking all around New York City today, my legs were so tired.

At the end of the day, I was a bit of a seat seeker. Also good. That's good. Uh-oh. He's mad. Mike Hanford dropped his mic, knocked over his folding chair, and walked off stage.

Oh, here he is. Oh, he's back! He's back! But his legs were tired. Mitch, what did you think of them noodles? I thought the noodles were... Was the seat hot? No, it picked up. It was sticky.

Sorry. Um... Yeah, Urkel screwed it out. I mean, it's sticky. With what? I literally said two days ago to somebody, did I do that? And my wife,

my sister-in-law, and my mother-in-law all together went, did I do that? Like, oh... You're right. You're right. You're right. The one that makes me self-conscious, because it happens organically,

is you have a bad connection, and you're like, can you hear me now? And it's like, fuck, that's the thing that guy says. Well, it's interesting because it's a continuation of a phone call sort of calling response. In the 80s, it was if you went to a phone,

and it was like, who are you going to call? Oh, that's right. And then you turn and you go, the ghostbuster, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's right. Can you hear me now? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. We all have laughs about phones. Right. I get around that pretty easily.

If I'm talking to somebody, I'll just say, oh, can you understand me in this instant? So that we don't have to get all confused and say, do you know I have black hair and black square glasses and wearing a gray workman's jacket? You say that over the phone

to test your connection? Like the Verizon guy. Oh, got it, got it. Paul. The Sprint guy. I'm so sorry. They spent so much money for that guy's heel turn. And then some time passed,

like the fact that he switched stopped being a novelty and now he's just like the guy in their ads? And I'm just like, wait, so now I just like this guy. Is his name Paul? I think he's just named Paul. He's just like, hey, I think so. Wait, is he you? You know what I was saying?

Square rib glasses and stuff. Maybe it's me. Jared just signed with Firehouse Ups. Wow, that's big. He's a visitor going to Skydance. He's back. I liked the noodles, Nick.

They're good. I mean, the lamb in particular I thought was delicious. I had to use my fingers like a crab. I had to pinch the noodles like a crab to break the noodle apart. Yes. Like Sebastian. Like Sebastian the crab.

Mitch just pantomimed a little crab dance, which was a lot of fun. Sebastian once was a you did a spoof version called Sir Trash Kid. That's right. It was a spoof? You thought that was the original song?

That's original. I sang, the theaters are always cleaner. Yeah. This sucks. Kiss, Nick. Sing the song and kiss, Nick. The theater is always cleaner when you throw your trash away.

If you drop your candy wrapper, the aisle is where it stays. Just look for a nearby trash can and dump all your garbage there. That's where all the way should go now. Not under the theater chairs. Under the seats. Under the seats.

Let's have some class here. Don't throw your trash here. Take it from me. How much am I doing? Up on the seat. That's where you sit. Under the seat. Don't throw your shit. Don't be obnoxious and throw snack boxes under the seats.

The paps brings the rasta slice brings the mice the gum turns to scum and that's not so nice. The ooze from the booze, the coke's from you folks. The goop sticks to your shoestole. He turns her away in the trash of the day. He said, take that back in a garbage sack.

The trash man, he comes and have lots of us when you watch the garbage flow. Under the seats. Under the seats. When we don't trip on your chicken strips it's such a relief. Up on the stage you got Nick Kroll.

We got the holy dinner roll. Don't be obnoxious. This sucks. I was getting into the power. Don't throw your cups here. Nick Wiger fucks here. Under the seats. And the home of the... This sucks.

This sucks. No lettuce wrap. No. I just embarrassed myself for three minutes. Come on, let these people wrap. Yeah, you do the lettuce wrap. Hey, sir, is it cool

in New York, freestyler? Let us wrap. Freestyler? Is there a... Is there a New York freestyler? These guys are pointing each other in the front row. Let's keep this can of worms close. Hanford, what did you think of that,

of those hand-wrapped noodles? The which ones? The lamb ones. Not the soup, the one that was the dish. You know, my mother calls me lamby. That's very cute. That's right. Does Mariah Carey calls her fans her lambs?

Ooh. I've never seen your mom and Mariah Carey in the same picture. Yes, I have. She called me lamby and lamb until I got too old I said don't come anymore and then she called me ram and ramy.

Which is cooler. What do you do for hours? She should call you hammy. Did she call me hammy? I'd flip out. It's your jeans, I'd say. You know what, all of you should call your Paris tonight. Yeah, I would be nice. I'd just say it's your jeans, you know.

And now I'm calling you lamby. To answer your question, Nick, I found the noodles to be quite fruit by the footage. Bubble tape in nature. Right. Sure.

An unending ravell of noodle. And I enjoyed the taste of them. Yeah, the sauce is great. And you also, hand man, you got the spicy and tingly beef hand-wrapped noodles. That was my pick out of the whole thing. My favorite.

That one was very good. I was unnerved by tingly. What sensation am I going to get from tingly? I made this joke in the restaurant, but my mouth did get kind of numb from all the heat. Oh, is it one of those things?

Because you know there are some tiny spices that they have that sort of Oh, I thought it was like you put the beef under your arm and tighten it until the blood runs out to the beef and then it starts feeling tingly Well, we asked the guy we asked the guy the cashier we said the same thing you said and he said

no, it's more of a mouth thing you know, none of this food, none of it on the menu, he said should be under your armpits. Or under your knees, bent knees don't do that. But then Weigert did it anyway. I did it, I did the stranger.

Well, he said early he was grumpy. Well, I asked the bean, what happened? King Kong's classic New York show interruption One time I put my penis tight in an Albert Camus novel

I let all the blood die out of it and then I just whacked off on the last page The thinking man stranger Yeah, because there's a and I know this because I read about it at again, we're bad at hosting a food podcast, we should know more

but I learned about this from there's a there's kind of what it's like for you why you're walking around Mitch is using his microphone stand, walking it like some sort of tripedal robot and he is implying that that's what my life is like

because I'm an automaton Oh, you're saying because I have a large stick a completely different angle than what you were saying Okay, I get it That's what he's saying Can I just say though you put yourself down by saying we do a food podcast we don't do it very well

let me just say I bet there's a bunch of fucking schlubs who thought but they're not a modicum they don't have a modicum of the charm and love and chemistry

between these two That's nice They're the secret sauce We keep eating shit up here we'll kiss at some boy try to get you guys on board Paul and Amber are the two funniest guys around

and girls fuck two of the funniest people around Somebody doesn't like Gilda So I read that they're at the Star Wars park at Galaxy's Edge that there is a cocktail that has an element that numbs your mouth

and that it's one of the I think it's called like it's not the Bantha Fizz but it's got a Star Warsy name like that Galaxy's Edge too much of a sex title Right Edging, it sounds like edging Lando's jacking off but not coming

for like a month just to store up Did you just hit yourself with the base of the line? I did, yeah No, I'm okay I don't know the people know you're a piss edger I'm not a piss edger

Is edging what you said bringing up right to the Yeah, you go right to the brink you see how far and then you stop I've had that I've had that numbing drink at Galaxy's Edge, it's strange So I think that's the same I don't know if it's the same spice or same

element I'll look up exactly what it is but it might be what the tingle is Szechuan peppercorn, thank you very much Can kids have it? It's okay like I think it's got alcohol I think we could have the Szechuan peppercorn Can the cast of kids have it?

I think at this age because Chloe's 70 is like what she's in her 40s probably Yeah, so she definitely could have it if she drinks and I don't know if she does I was taking her to Galaxy's Edge Oh, that'll be fun Chloe's 7-Eleven knee

That's good That's good I I was doing the food thing again Yeah, I liked it Chloe 11 Weets Alright, it's just a pitch

It's just a pitch We don't have to shoot down each other's pitches, we can just add our own What about Chloe's 7-Up That's good That's good I don't really like what about that What about that makes us all laugh

so much That's what I was gonna say Yeah, I like this dish a lot I just thought the broth was delicious, it was just so flavorful I'm with you there, man, that broth is good And a lot of spice to it You ordered spicy all around

Didn't you? I read that whole like fucking letter that printed PDF that the guy has the lobby The F word comes out I'm sorry F-Y-Gur That's right, the F stands for I read the flyer

that the personal letter from Jason Wang talking about how spicy is what produces the flavor and he prefers everything spicy He asked you not to order things mild And I was like, well, we should just try to abide by this guy's rule set

Right? I don't know, I feel like that was like the right experience And again, I like spicy foods I wasn't trying to impose that on the entire party But I don't know, I thought this one was good But what did you think, Mitch? Where did you see this? It was in the lobby I don't know if it's in every restaurant but it was in the one we were in

Near Bean Man? Where was it? It was near the Bean Guy I asked the Bean Guy to step aside so I could read it It was on the menu? No, it's not on the menu I mean, it might be on the physical menu It was reading the menu on the wall It was on the wall above the drinks in the location we were at

And what was it? So let's see I'm trying to orient myself We were on 45th Street And we entered It runs east-west, right? Yeah, I should also So we went in there

And we would have been facing south I believe It was to our right Whatever cardinal direction that is That would have been west, right? Yeah, west People who are listening to this Won't notice, but once we figured it out

The entire audience levitated And now they're stuck on the ceiling And they are not happy with us Yeah, a spatula, please Yeah, there's some people on the ceiling We're gonna need a spatula You saw him, he's not joking We need that spatula

Did you like that soup, Mitchie? I did Mitch is levitating Oh boy I like the dumpling soup Right, we also got the spicy and sour lamb dumplings in soup You get six dumplings there Which is an ample number of dumplings

Because them dumplings are big boys I love the dumpling Again, the broth, very flavorful I really like the lamb dishes here Like it's just, you know The meat was very high quality And the seasoning was really good I mean, we're just like saying

This was good, which I know is a shallow observation But it was It was fucking delicious And the Yeah, the soup had a great broth to it Both soups had a great broth to it Actually, I think I might be with you, Mitch I might have preferred the lamb dumplings

To the hand-ripped noodles, but they were both very good And I'm not as much of a soup guy as I am Just like, I'd rather just maybe have dry noodles In general, but they both look for me Is that why you didn't like the cameo? Wow Well, I like the cameo Because he said no soup for you

You wish he was just a regular Nazi With a huge screen In front of an audience of 500 people Giving a megaphone No, despite my hairstyle And new balance sneakers, I decry the alt-right Wow Whoa, don't go crazy

Careful, you're in New York The spicy Asian cucumber salad The cold dishes, I loved this I was like, how is this so good? It's so simple, but just like so flavorful Did you take a bite? You're like, is this revenge? Did I just take my first bite of revenge? Paul, I'm confused

Nick, how is revenge best served? The best kind of laugh Mentally connected the dots I've been there before, I've been in your seat I'm more of a Wars guy than a Trek guy The Trek's references Don't always track for me I do like Trek, Trek is great

You like Trek? Trek Now I'm feeling like You were just feeling Mitch, if you traded shirts with Hanford We'd kind of have Shrek on stage That is not fair, Nick Yes, I look like Shrek

You don't look like Shrek You look like handsome Shrek You look like hunk Shrek Handsome Shrek? Oh thank you so much I like handsome Shrek, fuck you Have you seen Shrek 2? He turns into a man in Shrek 2 And he's a fucking dreamboat

I was giving you a compliment I was retracting what I was saying He's a big beefy stud He looks great Now let's fucking kiss Shrek and Fiona Shrek and Fiona Kiss

Oh my god, kiss Are they gonna kiss or twist? Twist They're gonna save the kiss for the last episode Obviously Obviously This just hasn't been chanted like that Since Gene Simmons was on stage here

Like just last night Oh wow The other thing we got was And this was the guy taking our order Who was very nice His favorite, the one he recommended B won the stewed pork burger Now I understand there's a lamb burger as well

But we had a couple of lamb dishes And so we tried the pork burger on his recommendation Also very good You know the bun is like a It's a different texture than What you might expect The bun! It's not a traditional bun It's not like a regular burger

That's true How would you describe that bun? It's disc-like Say pita-like Pita-like Yeah, it is akin to a pita Good job He's on our side now

The meat is not like a proper patty inside It's more like a Chunks I had a bite of that I've been pretty burgered out from that White gas I had to admit We're supposed to say the chain Oh yeah, sorry

Chunk, you want to call me chunk from the Goonies too, you piece of shit No, I wasn't calling you that Because he said chunk a second ago I'm not going to do the truffle shuffle You don't want to be one of L.A.'s Highest priced attorneys? He does have a very nice

Career as an entertainment lawyer now That's right Didn't you meet Jeff Cohen? I've met Jeff Cohen Jeff Chunk, Cohen? That's true The guy who was chunk is now a lawyer in L.A. When you met him

He came riding into the waiting room On sloth I was there for this meeting, Mitch I thought that was strange He does the truffle shuffle for you But you ended up blowing the whole thing Because you said I plead bean He said

I don't need this headache I don't need this Get this clown out of here This does not make any sense to me Cut him out of his way out, see what comes out Yeah, I'm a Goonie, but get rid of the Spoonie Verbatim

What were you saying about that burger, Hanford? You're a little bit burgred out I appreciated them putting it together But I didn't really like it Interesting That's nice I went back and thanked the staff What did you think of that burger?

I liked the burger It's not what I would get there It's not really a burger They call it a burger It's closer to a pulled pork sandwich Than a burger But it's still good It's toothsome and has great flavor to it

I just wouldn't get it And then I got myself an apple soda Which was a lot of fun We both got the apple soda I also got an apple soda Nice amount of carbonation to it And a decent amount of Apple-y sweetness

Hanford, what did you get for a drink? A bottle of water I had a lot of soda At the White Castle I felt sick That's for a different podcast Not even Doe Boy Yeah, I had the water

Restproof, we've been dominating this a lot With our talk of our visit But you also went to Xeon on your own I felt like I talked too much You talked in great amount You're doing great Every time you talk it helps the show

You pipe up all your life Yeah This is like In kindergarten when I went out to recess And said nobody remembers My birthday and everybody kept coming up to me And saying, do you want to celebrate your birthday? What a manipulative way

To get people to cheer for me I realized that as I was saying Yes, no Yes, I also went to The Can you tell us what you told them What you told us backstage The last time you drank these beers

Oh, the last time I drank Stella's Yeah Last time I drank Stella's I got hyponachoramia And ended up in the emergency room So it could be a fun second show It's not related to this particular Lager beer

The issue is that I was drinking them In the hot, hot sun And then I also ate some very salty No, I didn't eat salty food That was the issue And then I got a little too drunk And then whenever you dilute your blood And then you can end up

Like, what it is for me Is all of my muscles in my body were cramping at once It was the most pain I'd ever been in Kept vomiting continuously Couldn't get any fluids in me And this was today This was today And I had to basically go in and then

And you liked it I love that shit I'm Nick Fuckweiger And they gave you basically saline IVs And they just put in like fucking 10 liters of saline or something Into my blood

This was... God, I'm old This was like 14 years ago You still look kind of cool My favorite My favorite Weiger eye story Is when you went and got lasik surgery And you had that Vegas showman

That was wonderful Of a doctor So I'm not anything close to a celebrity And this was years ago But I was like, if I'm gonna get lasik I'm going to the guy in LA who like costs more money But he's not gonna fuck it up Because he did like weird Al's eyes

And Drew Carey's eyes and shit I just fucking went for it And he's great He's like a very good surgeon But he also had, it was a little bit of a showman I think being adjacent to Hollywood I did the yes It's tough not to catch the bug

And so First off, the procedure is They numb your eye And then not only are they shooting a laser in your eye Before that, they take What looks like a circular saw And you see it coming towards your eyeball Jesus

This is a food podcast And then it goes around The outside of your iris Like you're opening a can And so like it's You feel like a saw blade just going like And then he flips open your eye And you like lose your vision completely

And then like a red Laser shoots at you for 10 seconds He flips it back closed Does it to the other eye The whole procedure takes less than 5 minutes And then he prompt me up in the chair And said, okay, can you let me know what time it is And there was a clock on the far wall

And I had like perfect vision immediately And I could read what was on the clock And I was like this guy That was the prestige, that was amazing You told me that you Concentrated on the wall and you saw through the wall Nick, you left out the best part of that story That the laser he used

Was one of the laser cats Right I forgot that detail One of them, he couldn't get all So Russman, what did you get When you went to this restaurant I had the N4 Sorry, you just opened yourself

You sunk my battleship Go ahead, go ahead Go ahead, I had to I liked it He had to That's what they've come to expect from the old hand man The stewed pork hand-ripped noodles Yes, the stewed pork hand-ripped noodles

And I thought it was appropriate because I'm sure A lot of people in this audience Came from a stewed pork What, you don't think your parents Are drunk when they conceived you? Stewed Oh, when I was eating up those noodles I was thinking about all your parents

Fucking and conceiving you My dad told me when he conceived me It was his weakest ever load Honey, I think I just came I think One of the number one hall of fame Weigertweets And it seems like

I'm just a receptacle for all my friends' jokes Which I have, I'll remind you all the time Of your best jokes But Weigertweets tweeted I just came A pitiful amount of cove A pitiful You were just like

Like this is why This is why Twitter is what it is Because people are allowed to do that What happened? It used to be cool, man Changed, fucking boring now But I loved it Yeah?

Those noodles were good? Yeah, they were really tasty It was a cold rainy day Santa You think that was cold? You know where I'm from? Sub-zero all the time And you had this dish yourself

You weren't spending it with anybody? How was it to eat? No, Nick I went there for lunch It was nearby where I was living And I just took a little walk And I went into the actual place And I obtained the food

And I came back And I ate it And what I was going to say was It was like a cold rainy day I was a little blue Before going in there And I ate food And it made me happy

Wow I'm sure for the audience The idea of food equals Food equals happiness Probably a stretch But that's what was my experience today I was a little blue today too And Nick, so were you

Yeah, we're less grumpy It's being around these guys These guys are a little rays of sunshine They're delightful Thanks Did you get any other dishes? No, you just got the one That's good though

What did you get? Was it one of the ones we got? No, he got a different one He got the stewed pork hand-ripped noodles We got the one with the lamb What did you think of the noodle? I didn't know the noodle was one big noodle It's kind of like One way to think of it is like bubble tape

Right Or if there was some sort of Edible duct tape It's kind of like how The first Star Wars It's like the first Star Wars movie I saw Was Return of the Jedi I didn't know two others existed

It was deep down in the bowl Thank God My two older sisters rented that Noodle for me What was everyone's first Star Wars Mine was Episode 4 I think mine might have been Return of the Jedi as well Did I hear somebody say, oh my God

I now live in a Existence where I'm distracted Girlfriends and wives When somebody's out of the room A Star Wars conversation Will start percolating And they'll say, hey, can we just not

Before the person comes back in Let's just not talk about Star Wars Because it's going to start a thing I I immediately smelled the popcorn Popping They put it on the stage There's popcorn for you

Wait a minute Is the cage going to follow me If I grab it Come on Eat one quarter portion Eat the box Eat one quarter portion Eat one quarter portion

Did you see what they wrote on the box for me They put pup P-U-P That's cute I did that This is from the venue This is from the venue It looks like

It's in that cool classic box That cereal box It looks like a cereal box Absolutely I'm going to pass Mr. Clinton Let's get to our final thoughts on The foods

Boom We'll each go down the line And we'll give a summation Of what we experienced And give it a fork for From zero to five forks Paul Rust We'll begin with you

I really liked it It tasted great If somebody asked me Hey, where's a good place to eat in the neighborhood I'm cold and Unhappy I'd recommend it to them And give them

How many forks? You're an adult boy I'd say Four and a half Four and a half forks Wow Out of five That's the scale

Go ahead, Ann, man I loved it as well I had a great time Feeling sick from another meal I don't want to talk about it yet Maybe another time you can pull me on Some stage and we'll talk about it I don't want to talk about it today

I have to break it To you I did not like that cucumber Did not like it That's okay I love this I feed off this I haven't heard such a

Negative audience reaction To a green Rod-like food Since the small group Of anti-pickle ricks Pickle ricks It's a small group It's a fan favorite

But there's a group of people Who don't like The Pickle Rick episode Are any of them in the audience tonight? Thank you I'm not really sure what Paul's talking about I know of the show but I I'm not really watching

I will I thought the Soup was the best thing I'm going to go back and have that I wasn't feeling really blue today I'm sorry you guys all were I do my best to be entertaining to you When I see you

I know that's the role I feel for you Bring the clown out He's always happy So So that was nice to fulfill my role I give it a God damn it I always have a tough time with this I have a tough time

3.8 Oh shit 3.8 forks Wow That's a steak It was because of my anti-pickle Rick joke The Spoon Man Mike Mitchell

Nick New York The greatest city in the world The greatest city in the world On God's green earth On God's green earth By God Jesus specifically Take off your Patriots hat and step on it

No No And kiss this Step and kiss Quiet please Let me explain Say Eli Manning is better than Tom Brady Oh my god

For if I step on this Patriots hat I am also stepping on my Doe Boys hat It says Doe Boys on the back of it Give it to me so I can step on it We'll kiss They want us to kiss, we'll kiss at the end of the review We might not kiss

New York, New York, the city of dreams It's a melting pot, Nick In the fact that you can find a place like this That's a chain restaurant New York, that delights me Yes Will I have a Bernie shit later? Undoubtedly

And will you Instagram it? Most definitely I really liked this place Nick I'm gonna go high Because I think the fact that you can get something like this Just walking down Fifth Ave Right

You just visited Times Square Sure And you pissed on it Sure And you pissed on it You know what? The dishes in here are so hot

They'd make Lady Liberty's dress fly up And that dress is made of copper Which a lot of people don't know Because it turned green because of The camera I think that this chain is so New York in such a good way That it's

It's a five forker, Nick Wow Thank you Fuck Philadelphia Hey Some of my friends might hear this Fuck me I'm not here to transparently pander

So you know my opinions are legit I'm being honest I was honest too I'm being straightforward here I was honest too This place is delicious The food is very, very good If I lived here

If I was in LA I would go all the time It's a wonderful Style of Chinese cuisine This is how I'll show that I'm being honest Best chain we've been to On the tour It's a toss up for me With this place in Ben's Chili Bowl

Because that place in DC I love that I love chili loaded food This place is a historical connection to the city I had a fondness for But I will say this For a new place I think that counts for something

This place came about in 2005 And is so ensconced in the city Everyone's just like this place is fucking awesome This is great I think this is a place that's not a flash in the pan It's here to stay The dishes were great That spicy cumin lamb hand-ripped noodles

Was as delicious as advertised I loved how efficient the service was I loved how reasonable the price point was Yeah, there's no reason to fuck around here This place is Not going to get five forks It's going to get ten chopsticks AKA five forks

Wow Wow Oh Oh my god So good Very close to being in the golden plate club But just not quite there Bro, I did four and a half

I like it, Hanford I did four and a half Stand by your man, I like it, Hanford I would have given a higher if the noodles Just didn't represent a certain type of It was very difficult to eat Fruit by the foot Fruit by the foot

Fruity thing Guys, that was our review of Xi'an's famous foods You brought us food, we're going to open our mouths And eat it and give it our art Fuck this Edit that out You Song and Emma make a note Edit that part out

You brought us food We're going to open our mouths and eat it And give our hot takes Snack stack So guys We learned a little something from last night in Philadelphia Which is that people bring way too much stuff Here's what we're going to do

We're going to go down the line And I want each of you, everyone is just going to pick One thing that speaks to you However, whatever it is Don't overthink it, just be like, I'm going to pick this one thing And we'll taste those four things And then we'll take some audience questions, alright? Can you choose the box or no?

If you want us to eat cardboard You can choose the box But we won't eat the entire content of the box Paul is leaving, Paul just ran off stage Paul's gone, Paul's sprinting off stage He doesn't like the choices Okay, he doesn't want to make the choices Okay, here we go

We should talk Yeah, if I fucking fill the dead air Hey, bitch, how are you feeling here in New York City? My god, the buildings are as tall as any I've ever seen That was pretty good What are you doing? Oh my god, you're from Rochester, New York Yeah, sure

Well, now I'm picking the food, Mitch Hold on here I'll go with this, I guess It's fun to look at Alright, this one's from Marky Mark This is Nong's Him Banana Kick Banana snack with artificial flavor It's got a fun little banana mascot on there

Look at that, that's great He's a little peel guy And his face is real And he's got green sneakers Like Sonic's Red Sneakers This is a good one This is Terrell's chips It looks like it's called Syracuse-style flavored chips

Have you had that? I've never heard of such a thing Do I read the... Do I read the thing on it? Dear Doughboys But mostly Emma and Yuzan Got these on our way down from Canada What city? Very nice, I'm a big Habs fan

They look to be... They look to be a take on All dressed flavor chips But let us know how they taste Because we didn't get them To try them Thanks for the show I think this is Patrick, Alex,

Andy, and Jeff Very cool Have a bite of them I picked one out for Paul too Okay, great I got the whole shebang Super Season Snacks Original

From Sean Tony Your message is very interesting Up until recently These were only available in prison Wow Enjoy Exploration date 9-8-19

Two days away Note written in blood So here's what we're going to do We've got a bunch of crunch on these bad boys And while we're doing that in the interest of time We're going to open up the feed bag So we're going to take three audience questions You guys have sent them in

Paul has returned to the stage Paul Rust everybody Thank you, what snacks can I eat? You can have some of this banana one And while we're doing that Emma and Yuzan Whoever's out there Let us know who we're going to be

Can I just say The whole shebang These are only available in prison Make like Will Arnett and let's go to prison These are delicious It's crazy Popcorn That's a spicy popcorn

It's like a salt and vinegar popcorn That's really good Boy, that is like a salt and vinegar popcorn Should I give it to the audience? You gave us popcorn so we now Shall give you popcorn Let me take one last kernel It tastes like my shirt smells

I think this is a I'm not a popcorn fan But I will say Call me Ricky Martin because she bangs She bangs Those are good Those are snack Emma, are you ready with the mic?

Do we have someone out there in the audience? Okay, who are we talking to first? Andrew, I can't really pronounce your last name Gula Meyer Something like that over there Nick, now it finally makes sense Why I call you Ricky Martin It does, you've been calling me that for years

I'm so sorry, I've been calling you Nicky Martin I've noticed and I haven't said anything I've been okay with that, but I haven't noticed Is it Ricky? My name is Nick But you can call me, Paul's been calling me Ricky Martin I didn't really understand why

Steve Martin's son is Nicky Martin And he is the least Funniest person Oh wow It's crazy Have we found our first questioner? Yeah, right here Hey guys, my name is Andrew

I had surgery two weeks ago On my stomach I can only eat soft foods for four weeks Oh man If you guys had to eat soft foods for four weeks What would you eat? Wow Thanks for coming

Yeah, congrats on being alright Have a speedy recovery Did you eat any of the food today? For the pod? Alright Good, good You could have had that spicy soup Guys, the house lights just came on

Let me say congrats On an attractive demo Very Very fetching crowd Has everyone had these cherelle potato chips? Those are great Those Syracuse chips are What's the phrase I'm surging for?

They're super duper good When you're done with those passes out to the audience So people can try those I will say I like a lot of soft foods How soft are we talking? You're not on a liquid diet, right? Ice cream mashed potatoes

You got to answer your own question Those are huge oatmeal You can have cream of wheat I think what you should do there is figure out All the different hot cereals and alternate them Because I think that will help give you an array Of different breakfasts that won't get boring I think you'd also have

The hot cereals All the different hot cereals Cream of wheat, yeah, hot cereal, oatmeal Yeah, cream of wheat, hot cream of rice I'm with you Oatmeal Microwave for a few seconds I've done that with grape nuts and it kind of works

But I don't think it's soft enough texture For our friend there I would suggest, and I would probably look into this If anyone makes a really good Sort of a wet mashed Sourdough pretzel, I would maybe have those But I don't know if anyone makes a good one There's some on the market, but some aren't good

I put some cinnamon toast crunch in the Microwave And the three chefs hated it Do you know the names of those? Three chefs Oh, you do know the names Of the cinnamon toast crunch chefs Well, there's Wendell

Wendell, right? The second one I forget But I know Third one might have the name of Quello One of them is named Quello The second one is a normal name, right? Yes There's a Wikipedia page

That lets us know That the name Quello Was Never Established by General Mills Never accepted by Mills But as the Wikipedia page says Some believe his name is Quello

I would also say Indian food There's a lot of Indian food that is like Pureed or bushy or mashed And I think there's a lot of things you can hopefully find there I would go Mac and cheese Mac and cheese is good as well What do you guys think of?

I would do like a A frappe, a mocha frappe Or you know what? A Boston cooler Which is, look, it doesn't mean Boston itself But I know I know I know It's a scoop of vanilla ice cream

And ginger ale Did you guys try this? Thank you so much For the questions, did you guys try this banana kick? It's weird, it's weird as hell I'm gonna pass this out to the audience Don't give it to them Yeah, you gotta eat all of them Don't slip on the bag

I gave it to the guy who reminded me of Getty Lee from Rush And he, I like that guy And he gave it two thumbs down He really didn't like it I also got these New York bagel crisps Everything, Nick Okay

We're trying those, while we're doing that Emma, who's our next question from? Alright, I don't have a last name for this one Her name is Erica, but I know it was like Cheese Focus Appetizer question Oh, there she is! You may have to pass the mic over I'm coming, I'm coming Alright, the mic is being brought to Erica

Hi, how are you? Doing great My question is mozzarella sticks Or mac and cheese balls Mozzarella sticks, easy answer Easiest answer I've ever had My entire life Mitch on this, you and I agree

I like mac and cheese balls They're good, but mozzarella sticks I can have more frequently That's an everyday snack for me I mean, not literally everyday But I could have that everyday Nick, that answer was kiss worthy Well, that's interesting

Kiss me! Hold on, let me... You know, if you kiss me, you too will turn into a shrek What are you guys, Paul and Hanford, what do you think? What are you putting that app That app Sophie's Choice Meryl Streep was given the choice Which food goes to the Holocaust?

Hey Oh, if you're gonna boo, turn down the lights For this show, though, wouldn't we call it a snow peas choice? Yeah, just for this show Maybe it might make sense at this show I'll tell you what my opinion is on this And I'll stand by it I've had more bad mozzarella sticks

I've had good mozzarella sticks in my life And I've been to a lot of restaurants So I like the mac and cheese balls better Yeah, man, keep it coming Russman, what do you think? Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mmm How many of you out there want mac and cheese balls? Hashtag Mac and Chief

Hashtag what? Mac and Chief Oh, Mac and Chief. Okay. That's good How about how many of you prefer mozzarella sticks? Overwhelming Mozzarella sticks? Bocerella sticks, that's good Okay, I think we have a consensus here

Wait, what was the hashtag? Cause I want to do that one Bocerella sticks What do you think? What's your preference? Um, mozzarella appetizer has a really good pull And I feel like that's like really important That pull is a lot of fun

Yeah, that's great Emma, let's queue up for our last question One last question, Jeff McGoogan Did I say that right? Well, Emma's making her way over to Jeff The Googs, if you see this guy in the Howell column, the Googs Where are you? Where are you?

What did you guys think of this New York style everything bagel chip that we had? I liked it, I could use it with an artichoke dip Yeah, this would be Honestly, this is a thing that would be better with it It needs a topping or a dip or something, yes Like some hummus or something would go a long way But the pepper is very good

Can I just give a rundown? Snack for that Big snack for the popcorn Big snack for the chips And a whack for the banana things I agree with you, except I just go regular snack for the popcorn Because I don't love popcorn Those chips are fucking great

That's fucking stupid It's got a good flavor to it, but I don't love the texture of popcorn Hi, what's your question? What the hell do you eat the pop movies? Not to date the episode You mean Dorian this weekend? I wish I could date this episode What are your

favorite storm foods to stock up on before or something like that? Good question from the goo You want something heavy, a heavy food so it doesn't fly away No Right, Nick?

Yeah I haven't experienced a lot of stormy weather I'm a lifelong Southern Californian and so we don't... I don't know a lot of times I'm a housebound The weather is lovely That's why you're all moving out there No, it's beautiful out there

There just isn't that instance where you're locked in for a storm all that often and I've never lived through a catastrophic earthquake or been close enough to the epicenter so I haven't been in a situation like that But I guess, I don't know Fucking stew That's actually a good answer

I don't feel like a stew I'll be fucking stew during the break That's good, a Guinness stew or something like that Anything else you guys want to think of? Yeah, the sort of stew is good I was going to say a clam chatterer

Oh, that's fun Thick So thick you can't even get a spoon in it Or a fork Paul, did you... Wait, did you have an answer? My family's flesh Oh, boy

Oh, no As a last resort? As the first resort Oh, boy He's a damn Hannibal Paul, put those knives away He's just drizzling The weather man said it's going to get rough

Alright Mitch, should we better kiss so we don't send this audience home with blue balls and then we get out of here It's very sweet Guys, that's our show Mike Hanford Paul Rust Until next time for the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell, I'm Mick Weigher

Happy Eden Thanks guys Thanks guys Sources for this week's intro include The phenomenon of Xi'an famous foods in New York City by Heng Xiao Boom Brands Xi'an famous foods by Alex Yablon

Silk Road North China Dash Ancient Trackway in China by C. Michael Hogan Let the meals begin Finding Beijing and Flushing by Julia Moskin Full list of sources available in the show description That was a hate gun podcast