Doughboys - Veggie Grill with Nathan Barnatt

Episode Date: April 8, 2016

The 'boys review up and coming vegan fast food outlet Veggie Grill with the help of actor, comedian, and the man behind Keith Apicary, Nathan Barnatt. Mitch and Nathan compete in Wiger's piping hot new segment, Pie in this Guy.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We believe the spiritual destiny of man is such that in time he will view with abhorrence the idea that men once fed on the products of animals' bodies. So said a Yorkshire teacher and woodworker named Donald Watson, who, in November 1944, having avoided service in World War II as a conscientious objector, founded the Vegan Society. Like many Westerners, Watson was simply borrowing and naming a concept from the East where many observant Hindus and Buddhists had avoided meat and animal byproducts for centuries. But by giving English-speaking animal activists a unifying identity, Watson birthed the movement

that took hold in the U.S. during the counterculture era of the 1960s. As the decades passed and more and more people became vegetarian and vegan, they couldn't shake the cravings for the meaty textures of their youths, leading to off-derided meat substitutes like tempeh, bacon, and tofurky. Then in 2007, a vegan fast-casual restaurant in Irvine, California managed to break through, offering meatless, dairy-free versions of such traditional comfort fare as nachos, buffalo wings, and cheeseburgers. The concept saw rapid success, distinguishing itself by coming eerily close to the real

thing in both flavor and price. Now, with 26 locations up and down the left coast, does this garden of Eaton deserve a visit from omnivores? This week on Doughboys, Veggie Grill. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside Mike Mitchell, the Spoonman. How you doing, Mitch? 26 eateries, did you say?

Up and down the left coast? Does this garden of Eaton deserve a what? Deserve a visit from omnivores. That might have been my least favorite sentence ever constructed. That just sucked. I think it was pretty clever, I think it was a lot of fun. I want to say, what's up in a howdy-how to Spoon Nation? Get ready for a long drop.

I am Spooky Spoon, the greatest mixer of all! So I went to push through while I was not denying it, so for Spoon I'm ready so I don't even try it. Oh, you mean like, not in the face, not in the face? No, more like, like, 50 more seconds. This jackal rushes me with a Spoon, Spoon! You now have all the information you could ever possibly need on Spooning. I like rusty spoons.

Put a live chicken in your underwear. Oh boy. Get all excited and go to a yawning festival. At least you're still getting some kind of booty tonight. Oh boy. So if you're out there and you maintain the Doughboys Wikipedia, just go ahead and mark the 405 mark at the point where people can start listening to this week's episode. Go ahead and ignore everything leading up to that.

Thanks to Gabe at Legendary Johnson. Thanks, Gabe, for that drop. A drop that I didn't know any individual drop in that entire thing. I'm assuming a lot of those Gabe made on his own. It's possible. I don't know where Gabe is from. He has 13 followers. Well, don't follower shame the man.

Man, that's a weak Gabe. And it says he's from P-town, which I don't know if that's... It could be Provincetown in Massachusetts. That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Well, whatever. If you didn't like it, tell Gabe it sucked. Or tell Gabe you liked it.

It's not my... I don't do these anymore. Yeah. Well, you never did them, really. Yeah, I kind of outsourced my drops. Jeff Dutton helped me make a couple. Front of the podcast, Jeff Dutton. I would say in the future just... And I would say this, don't defy the Spoon Nation.

Give us some drops that are maybe sub-30 seconds. You don't have to send in a minute-long drop for the top of the podcast. Spoon Nation. Spoon Man here. Give me those long drops. The longer the better. All right. You know what?

I want them long, too. Give us the longest drops you got. Mitch will play the longest one that's sent in every week. I feel like this is a mind game. I agree with Wagner. Please do send in the longest drop, but I will play it. All right. We'll see where this heads.

Mitch, are you feeling better? The chomping ship is over. We've... Our diet has reverted back to normal a little bit. Yeah. Still not great. Yeah. I'm starting to feel...

As you can tell, I'm not... I'm getting over it. I'm finally healing up. Yeah. I'm very happy the chomping ship is over. It was a waste of time. It was a terrible month. I tell everyone I ate 18 cheeseburgers last month, at least.

Yeah. And everyone is disgusted and grossed out. And they're right. It was a terrible, gross thing that we did. And I don't even feel like it even affected you. You just sit there staring at me like the robot you always are. I feel great. I'm very happy with the outcome.

It was a long... And let me tell you, I had kind of the feeling at the end of March, I was like, oh, man, I never want to see a cheeseburger today, a cheeseburger again. And then today, Nali and I took a lunch date to Fudruckers. They have a two burgers, two fries, two drinks deal for $13.99. That's a bargain. That's a bargain at Fudruckers. And I had myself a double cheeseburger.

Boy, that was a tasty burger. I was like, man, I still love burgers. These are still great, very satisfying. And you know what? I think I underrated Fudruckers a little bit. Oh, Jesus Christ. I think the original sin of the tournament, and I don't want to dwell on it, we're moving past and now it is won.

It's rightly been declared the victor. But I think the original sin that I committed in the tournament was selecting Carl's Jr. Hardys over Fudruckers because Fudruckers is clearly a better burger. In-N-Out won, but it was eliminated. Oh, yeah, I wanted to tell you just some follow-up from the tournament. Yeah. I'm going to go back and revise my original score. The tournament's over.

No, no, no, no. Okay. My original Doe Boy's Pod score for In-N-Out. I'm going to have that at Three Forks, bring it out of the Platinum Plate Club all the way down to just a regular place, wouldn't have been the first seed, and fuck you. That's a bunch of bullshit. I don't think that revisionism stands. It does.

Whenever it updates the page. No, here's what it is. This is Canon. This is Doe Boy's Canon right here. Because it won the Tournament of Chompians, it automatically has a place in the Platinum Plate Club regardless of previous score. Oh, Jesus Christ. So the championship victory supersized any previously existing score, and that applies

to any of the combatants in the Tournament of Chompians. This is the most I'm taking my ball and going home thing I've ever heard of my entire life. I'm not taking my ball and going home. I'm taking my trophy and declaring victory. Your trophy, you didn't win anything. In-N-Out Burger has a figurative championship belt that it can wear with pride, and it can continue to deliver quality burgers and fries and drinks and shakes and some subtle Christian messaging.

Well, if you're wearing it, better be a fucking big belt. I will also say Jack Allison, friend of the podcast, voted in and out in the Tournament of Chompians, ate at Shake Shack today and said that Shake Shack is better. Yeah, he was floored by how good Shake Shack was. He said he's changing his vote now to Shake Shack. Yeah. So that is Canon. There is one additional vote for Shake Shack.

I think Wendy still finishes in a second. And we missed Farley, Elliot, and we missed Mattie Smith. Mattie voted, I think, for Shake Shack. This is Evan Susser's fault. I don't want to get... Let's not... Let's not talk more about the championship. Let's let them be water under the bridge.

That's the past. We're moving forward. We're back to regular format now. Evan Susser is no longer the commissioner. He's now a civilian. He's just friend of the podcast. Well, whatever fucking bridge that water is running under, you should fucking jump off there.

All right. In that note, let's introduce our guest. A hilarious guy, one of the best physical comedians around. The man behind Keith Apacary from YouTube, as well as from Disney XD's Kirby Buckets, Nathan Barnat. Hi, Nathan. Hi. Thanks for doing the show.

I've jumped off bridges, too. So that's a good little segue. You're a daring man. We're talking right in your wheelhouse. We're talking about wrestling. We're talking daring stunts. Eating. Eating.

Yeah. Daring stunts sometimes. Yeah. Where did you jump off of bridges? I'm wondering, because when I was younger, I've talked about it on the podcast a little bit. I used to go to the courts. Courts?

Courts. What quarries? Did you ever go to the Milford quarries? No. I went to the Quincy quarries. I've heard of the Quincy quarries. I never went. Did you ever hear of the Milford quarries?

Yes. Because there's only so many quarries in Massachusetts, and you'd hear about the different ones. And there was always sketchy kids at each one doing drugs and flips and stuff. Yeah. Quincy was rough. And some of my friends were. I probably eat some of those guys. I talked about it here.

Yeah. We talked about this podcast a little bit, how one of the quarries in Quincy is like a watery tomb. There's like a bunch of bodies and like cars and stuff that are found in it. The Milford quarries are the same thing. It's like, oh, there's cars down there, and like Jeff Stanton's down there too. He never came back. Yeah.

There's always. You never know if you can believe. That's what everyone says in high school, I feel like. Quincy did have. They drained it. Well, Quincy is also running to Boston and Southeast, so where there's some sketchy stuff does go down. So.

Maybe. I saw a kid fall in. I think I talked about it on the podcast. I saw a kid fall in one day, and it was like one of those moments where I was like, oh, this is like a standby me moment where I'm going to see this kid like drown in the quarry. Yeah. But he lived. And I was, as you know, on the podcast, I talked about how I jumped off Pussy's Peak.

That was the jump that I continually jumped off of. But Nathan, you are, when I think about jumping into water, it's the quarries and then down Cape Cod, I used to do it all the time too. We had a house and sandwich and there was a little. I'm from Mashby. Oh, yeah. I lived in Mashby before I was born in Bellingham, moved to the Cape, moved off Cape in the 80s. That was a carpenter and there wasn't much work in the Cape anymore.

So we went off Cape and then we moved to Medway and Milford. And I went to school in Medway, but lived in Milford. Oh, OK. And I'd go, the bridges I jumped off most of the time were in Framingham. There was a trestle right next to the mass pike and you could see it from the drive by. Oh, wow. We did this game where we jump off and we try to pull our shorts off before we hit the water and throw them in the air and so he'd land naked.

And I remember one of my best friends now, Paul Cummings, it was him and my brother Seth and I, some other kids. And I just met Paul and he did, tried to do it and he couldn't get them off. And I was like, I could do that. So I did it. And that's when he was like, that's when I knew you were cool. Because he like, weren't afraid to get naked in front of strangers. And now we have a great friendship because of it.

Yeah, that was in Framingham, jumping off the old trestle railroad bridge. That's cool. I feel like if I were to jump off near the mass pike, it would probably cause a car pile up. Like once a day I'll see you jump off naked. Yeah, the cars went faster when they saw me doing it. They wanted me to get out of there. I used to, yeah, I used to, there was a little bridge and sandwich that I would jump off.

That was like kind of like. Oh, no, you're even thinking about Martha's Vineyard. There's a bridge in Martha's Vineyard you can jump off. Is it like, there's like cars would drive over it as you're jumping? Yeah, it was like one of the. Near the harbor? It was one of the main roads. I think it was just like, you know, like it was one of those just like little tiny bridges

that there's a million of and my dad took me there and I jumped in over and over again hoping that it would end my life. There's a lot of bridges over those brooks and things. Route six on the Cape is a bridge you can jump off of too. Do you, are you a fan of Cape Cod potato chips? I'm not. No. I'm a fan of Cape Cod.

It's funny because like most of the things that are Massachusetts New England related, I don't like and I resent. Why? I don't know. Because of where, because, because I know why. I do like, I like when I see Nantucket Nectar's drinks. I'm like, whoa, that's out here. That's crazy.

Because I always think Nantucket's like a thing no one's ever heard of. When I first moved out here, I worked at Oz, the Halloween store in Santa Monica. Oh, yeah. And this girl who worked there didn't know how to say Massachusetts. And I was like, oh, then no one knows Cape Cod or Massachusetts. She said matcha sous sets. She said it backwards. Oh man.

So I was like, wow, I guess I'm from like the middle of nowhere because she's not, but she was also like 17. So she hasn't been out of LA and didn't know anything. I feel like a lot of people know Massa, Massachusetts. Yeah. As you get older, you know, you know, the stereotypes and the festivals and stuff. Well, you get then, I think there's enough Massachusetts and pop culture that you kind of absorb some of it, even if you're not from there.

I've never been there. I've never even had a layover in Boston. But I feel like I know a little bit about it just from like what, like Mystic River and part of it. I was an extra in that movie. Were you really? Yeah. And Fever Pitch before I moved out here.

The Jimmy Fallon Drew Barrymore comedy Fever Pitch that's set during the World Series win for the Red Sox. Yeah. I never watched the whole thing, but in the beginning you can see me and my brother as extras. Wow. In like 70s clothes in the flashbacks. Oh wow.

And I remember goofing around with my brother in that, it was like a victory for me back then. I was doing commercials and stuff in Boston. And that was like pretty much, I was saving up and just doing commercials and trying to move out here. And that was like the first two times. The first, I did the extra work three times and I was always so embarrassed every time because there was everyone was like trying to claim her for attention and get like a

line or whatever. And it made me, my brother like, I would just leave a lot of time and just hide because I just was so embarrassed. But one time me and my brother were goofing around and Drew Barrymore like looked at you stand on your mark waiting to go and we were just standing there making some faces at each other. And she laughed. I was like, I made Drew Barrymore laugh.

That was like my first. And like, I know she was laughing at me. She looked right at me. I was making this really funky face. But that was one of my first little like victory or moments with a celebrity and just the performing victory. I felt like. My high school, Long Beach Polytechnic High School, Go Jackrabbits had a little, had a

brief stint where. Jackrabbits? Yeah. The Jackrabbits was our name. It's an excellent football program. It's a very good sports school, but yeah. I'm sure you still go down and watch the kids play. Also, speaking of which, Nathan, that girl who couldn't spell Massa Massachusetts.

Yeah. Or actually even say Massachusetts. Did you used to see Nick pick her up after work? No, I did not. Why? Because he says Quincy. Is that what you're saying? No, I just figured that he jaded her.

You just made a joke about me being a pedophile and then you circled back to something that was mentioned like five minutes ago. So you could do another one. You didn't have to cap that one. No, my high school, Long Beach Polytechnic, there was a brief stint where it was like the cool place to shoot movies. So like this movie, The Craft, which was a movie about high school witches. Oh yeah.

We shot there. And then The Other Sister, where I think Giovanni Robisi and, is it Jennifer? Oh, who's the, who's the natural born killers? Oh. Female protagonist. Oh God. I'm the worst with celebrity names. Jennifer.

It's not Jennifer Jason Lee. It's not Jennifer Love Hewitt. No, I know. I know it. I would have known it if you didn't fucking... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying anything. It's Jennifer something.

You'll look it up. You have IMDB on your phone. You could Google this in one second. Jennifer Lopez. No, what's her name? It's not Jennifer Lopez. That was her name, Jennifer. I thought it was Jessica Lopez for a second.

Jennifer, is it an L? An L? Oh, fuck it. I like how you guys know like every single street corner in every little town in Massachusetts, but can't remember one actress's name. I'm really bad with actress names. Yeah, I can't, I'm no better. I can't, I can't remember.

But whoever... People will just be mad at us. It was this movie with the other sister, but I ended up... And then they also filmed The Insider, which was the Russell Crow smoking expose a movie where he was the whistleblower on the smoking industry who had his life threatened by the tobacco, big tobacco. And I was an extra in The Insider. That was the only time I was ever an extra.

And I got to see Russell Crow and Al Pacino in the halls of my high school. It's pretty exciting. That's cooler than mine. I saw Jimmy Fallon, which was cool, I guess. And then what's her name? Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore. I sat...

I ate next to Clint Eastwood though during Mystic River. Whoa, that's really cool. Yeah, I didn't... I don't know if I was supposed to be sitting with him. And then my brother snuck in too. My older brother Josh, he came in because he worked in the building next to where we were shooting the scene and we were having lunch. And then...

What's his name? Quinten... No. What's his name? Clint Eastwood. Spacing already. He was being interviewed by this woman as he was eating and I was like sitting like literally three feet from here and I was like, this is so cool.

That's crazy badass. And then I never... You could never see me in the scene. I was like so far in the background. Yeah. But it was kind of neat just to be like, wow, that's cool. Clint Eastwood's right here. Yeah, that's amazing.

Yeah, that was neat. There's certain celebrities that just like the gravity of being next to them is like, oh, wow, that's really cool. And then others are just sort of like, all right. But okay, we were right with Jay, but I misled you because it's not Jennifer. Ah, Juliette Lewis. Juliette Lewis. I was going to say Lewis.

I was going to say Lewis. I was saying Jennifer Lewis. And I was like, that's not it. If you had said like, National Ampuns, the daughter from those... That was her, right? Yeah. Okay, then that would have been like Juliette Lewis. Well, they switched son and daughter in every movie.

Was it every one? Yeah. Yeah, she was in Christmas. Yeah, that sounds right. That was a pretty good... That was one of the better... That's the best one, I think. And that's one of the better Rusty and Audrey combos.

Yeah. Paul Rust and I were talking about this the other day. Yeah. Paul was talking about how the European vacation Rusty is the worst Rusty ever created. Is that... I hope he's not a listener. Who's the one that did summer vacation? Oh, I'm sure he's not.

No way, never know. Well, the summer vacation was the kid from all those other 80s movies from like 16... Anthony Michael Hall. Yeah. I like him. He's good. But I don't really remember the movie. I watched Christmas Vacation.

That's like when I start Christmas. I watch it on Thanksgiving night because I like when Christmas starts real early and that begins it for me is Chevy Chase and I watch it a few times during Christmas. The date Thanksgiving ends is the start of Christmas. It's a great... That's my... That might be my favorite. Yeah.

That's a great segue from the nice Thanksgiving meal all the way up until Christmas. It's just a good time of year. All right, guys. I will turn off my Wi-Fi and once I can go back to airplane mode so I can focus. But I looked up Christmas Vacation because I wanted to remember who is the Rusty opposite Juliet Lewis's Audrey. Big Bang Theory. Johnny Galecki.

Oh, it's the kid from Roseanne. Johnny Galecki. That's right. Yeah. Now famously on the Big Bang Theory opposite of Bazinga. He was a good Rusty. He did a good job. Yeah.

I liked him too. He was good. I saw that movie in theaters with friends. It was probably in second or third grade. Wow. I remember I was a little young and I was still kind of dumb where I trouble following movies and what was going on. And there's like a part where Chevy Chase has like a fantasy, like a sexy fantasy about

someone in that movie, right? The Girl in the Pool. About the Girl in the Pool, yeah. About the Girl in the Pool, yeah. But for whatever reason, I remembered for years that this is so, and this is such a dark way to interpret it, especially as a kid. I thought he was having that fantasy about his own daughter. Oh.

I thought that was the duet Lewis character. Maybe because you were attracted to her at the age. Yeah. And you were thinking about, you were fantasizing about her as he was. I think I saw two brunette women and was like, oh, that's the same woman like I didn't distinguish them. Oh my gosh. That looks like a woman to you, too, because you're in second grade.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Teenager is like a lady. Jesus Christ. I'm not defending it. I'm just saying that was what my little kid brain thought. Natalie, fingers crossed you have a boy. Though he's screwed. Oh my God.

He's screwed, too. What the fuck? What? Anyway, sorry, Wager. Have you guys ever had toe furky? Speaking of Christmas and Thanksgiving? I've never had toe furky. Is that what you have for the holidays?

I do. I do it. I like to have my own toe furky because it's not very big. So what I do, my friends will make a toe furky for everyone. But I like to eat two things on Thanksgiving. Cranberry jelly out of the can. Organic now because I've gone back to the regular cranberries brand. What's it called?

Ocean Cran. Ocean Spray. It tastes like candy. It's so weird. It's so strong. But now I get Whole Foods canned and then one toe furky. I stick a fork in it and I eat it like a caveman. Kind of like a joke or like a Viking, you know, like a big man.

Yeah. Whoever a big man would be. A big plumber, maybe. And I just eat it on a fork like that as a joke. But it's like so good. That's my favorite thing. Those two. Well, I gotta say, did you ever go to the...

Sorry to talk about Cape Cod again, Wager. But I'm enjoying myself talking about it. That's my favorite place in Massachusetts is Cape Cod. Cape Cod is the only place I really go to when I go home now. I just go straight to the Cape and hang out. It's a beautiful place. I wouldn't be surprised if a significant portion of our listenership is homesick New Englanders, who just like to hear you guys just...

They just like to hear everything Mitch you say and then our occasional Massachusetts adjacent guest says about their hometown. It sounds so strange. I don't like my hometown. I kind of have this resentment to Massachusetts and I know it's unfair, but I got beat up a lot in high school by football players and all like the jocks. It was a very classic 80s movie in my high school career. Oh man.

I was like built up and I tried to let it go, but I just don't have fond memories of like anything sports related now. I don't like... I never really played sports anyways. But Massachusetts, I'm kind of like, oh man, you did me wrong. But I have all... Every time I meet someone like Mitch and like Mookie and other people who are from Massachusetts, I'm like, oh cool, you're from Massachusetts too.

But I don't really miss the state itself. Well, I was... I played football, but... Oh no. Don't beat me up. And I have to stop the podcast for a minute and beat up Nathan. No, I was really bad at it and I don't think... Hopefully I haven't told this story in here, but I got sent to private school my freshman

year and I went to kind of like this place there, which isn't even like the most preppy of private schools. It was just like a regular private school, but I went there and I hated it my freshman year. Was that because you beat people up and they sent you to a private school? No. I was like, thank you, Quincy guy. And I was like, eh, and I was a monster who had braces and acne.

And then I went to... I transferred to North and I was like, I'm going to play football and I just sucked. I was like really bad at football. And I remember this one time, it was like the preseason and it was like a preseason game. And I was like, you know, a sophomore or whatever and they're like, we're going to put you in this preseason game and they put me in this preseason game. And I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where to line up.

And then I heard this coach, uh, coach Glennon on the sidelines. He went, he just yelled out, get Mitchell out of there. He's going to get himself killed. I heard it from the sideline. I was like, oh man. And then like a big football player guy like came and put me in the right spot and I got like destroyed. Oh man.

It was a terrible, it was a terrible memory and my friends have quoted that to me forever. So I was on the football team, but they like made me do like impressions. They made me do like animal from the Muppet babies and like I put it out there. You're like a jester of the football team. I was like a jester of the football team. I was, I was, I was a huge loser. Well, you're still on the football team. So from the outside, it probably looked cool to everyone in school.

No, no. I'm telling you, I did not look cool. And our team won one game or something like that. But I saw some of those. There could be, I feel like people are nicer now, but who knows. Oh yeah. I think so now. And I think.

What are high school kids like now? I feel like they, I'm on this, that Disney show you mentioned and those kids are all like getting into high school. They're all, I mean, those are actor kids. Maybe they're different and they're like a little, they're all smart, you know, and they'll be there more advanced because they're like so open minded and like nice and cool. It was in high school. It was everyone, people like racist and just horrible and mean and like.

Yeah. I think there's still a ton of that. I think that, I don't think that's gone away generationally necessarily. LA kids are probably a different breed of kids than like deep Massachusetts kids. My, my, my issue is when I went to college, it felt similar to when I was in college, I was like, oh, these are just like, I was like, oh, they let everybody into college. I'm here. All these like idiot kids are here because I kind of felt that same way when I got to

school. I didn't get into college. Well, I didn't get into college. I wanted to, I wanted to go to Emerson and they're like, nah, you can't make it because I was really bad, very bad grades in high school and I just didn't pay attention, but I went to UMass Boston for a semester in Dorchester and I dropped out after that. I did. I got the lead in a play.

I was the village idiot in a spoof on Cinderella. It was called this. It's called Cinderella waltz. And the first semester was like, you're in the play. And then the second semester to be like a stage or something else. So I got lucky to be cast. It was me and the cylinder Cinderella as the leads. And I was like, this is awesome.

I feel so good. I love college. I didn't go to any of my other classes. I failed all of them. And then when I realized I had to do like no more acting, I just dropped out. And I was like, well, I can't come to this semester. And then I was booking commercials and doing stuff in master's. It's like that.

It was like, why am I painting for school when I'm living the dream now? Emass Boston, you were right near, you were right near Quincy. Ten minutes away from my house. Pretty much. I know. I drive right through, right by Quincy. That job I had in Quincy, I used to lay irrigation. I had a lot of labor jobs in Massachusetts.

Yeah. Best one was a grave digger. And that's right. That's why I saved up. I used to work there to move out here. I saved on my grave digging dollars. When I was in Quincy, I did a irrigation. And I remember all these new developments were going up and I had to lay like the sprinkler

systems and I messed up big time and I got fired because I buried a box wrong, I guess, control box. And the guy and it started raining on me and the two guys that worked there were real old creepy men who would hit on teenage girls at Roach Brothers on our break. We'd go to like grocery stores and they'd, I felt real uncomfortable around those guys. But that's like a workplace guy, a labor room man. Anyways, this story is getting long. I took a pickaxe because he's like, really digs.

He wanted me to like hurry up because it was raining and they wanted to go home. So I was in the rain. I took a pickaxe and I hit the ground hard. I was like, all right, I want me to go faster. And I hit the main line of the sprinkler system. It was like a cartoon. It sprayed straight up in the air like a guy's there, water went everywhere. And then he goes, oh, Jesus Christ.

And he got out, he turned the water off and he's like, that's it. We're going home. We'll fix it on Monday. And then over the weekend, my boss called their boss, the guy that wasn't there. It was like, we don't need you to come in on Monday. And I was just like, that's not fair because he told me to do it. And I did it. And then I got fired, but whatever.

That's so easy for them. One of the many jobs. I worked in a parks department in Quincy and there was this guy, Butch. And he's like one of those guys that tries to like, oh, he's like teach you a lesson or whatever. And he was like riding me because I was a goofball and he was just like, you idiot, like the entire summer. But then I was in the back of the truck and he peeled out one time and I fell out of

the truck. And after that, he was nice to me all summer. You got your respect that way. I got respect out of him because I fell out of a truck and he like should have been sued. That's why he liked you because you weren't suing him. Because I was just like, whatever, I was fine. That's funny. Yeah.

No, the, you know, Massachusetts is not as bad as Nathan's making. I know. I feel bad. It's not bad. It's a great state. And there's a lot of seasons and things are nice. And this is hot chocolate. We're in Dunkin Donuts.

I remember it was Dunkin Donuts. And the cranberry bogs. Cranberry bogs are cool. And the cape. That's fun. I love the cape. I go back there. I have great memories from Cape Cod.

Especially they're all been recent. Me and my friends will go back and we camp in the sand dunes in Truro, which is anywhere out there. It feels like you're on the moon. Endless dunes of sand and the moon's lighting it up. I have some pretty sexy memories too from the sand dunes with a Russian woman. That was cool. There's a lot of Bulgarian and Russian youth that come to Cape Cod, especially Provincetown

in the summer. And they work there for the summer. And I basically fell in love with this Russian girl who has shaved head. I was like, oh, she was so alternative and cool. This was like a couple years ago too. That's badass. She turned out to be a spy though, right? Oh yeah.

I went to Russia and hung out with her. I did an episode. I filmed. She's in one of my videos. I went to Russia to do a Tetris episode of the Keith's videos, the Talking Classics videos. And I stayed with her and she showed me around and stuff. It was awesome.

But yeah, one of my best memories was on Cape Cod with that girl and I just felt so youthful and cool. She was 21. I was 28. I was like, oh, man. This is like girls like young and cool, but not too young. That's badass. Yeah, it was awesome.

I'm like a bald goof bag. So I feel like I shouldn't get girls like this. One thing that she said to me that was very insulting, but also like, all right, thanks. And it kind of made me get comfortable with myself because like I live in character and like I have like my hair is very long right now and gross, but I have to keep it away for the characters I play. Sure. And it's like I risk my own personal look for what I do.

Me too. Yeah. I think that they make Joe see my character. But yeah, I feel like it's better off that way. It's like, who cares what I look like? I just don't want to make people laugh and do goofy characters. I agree with that. So my hair was real long in the summer and we were swimming in a pond and we were going

off this rope swing in on the Cape and I felt kind of like self-conscious because my hair when I'm swimming, it's like long and gross and I look like Kurt Cobain went bald. So she she's like, she's like, I love your hair and I was like, oh, she's just being nice now. I was like, oh, yeah. Sure. It's like, oh, I make fun of myself. I'm like, yeah, I look like a creep.

Whatever. She's like, no, I love it. I'm like, you look like Harvey Peaker. And I was like, what? She's telling me, I reminded her of Harvey Peacar, who was like an old Cramudian from American Splendor. Yeah. Who was like gross and bald, but she's like a real artist and she like loved him.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, and I started figuring her out. She just loves people who are just free and are just themselves and she's kind of like had a hippie mentality. Yeah, that's such an oddly backhanded compliment. Yeah. I was like, thanks. I feel worse about myself now.

If a lady was like, if a really pretty lady was like, wow, I like you. You look like Louie Anderson or something, I'd be like, all right, I guess I'd go with it. You kind of have to. And then you try to think like, oh, well, it's kind of an insult. So she must be serious and she's not trying to hurt my feelings because no one would actually say that to someone. So they really made me understand her and her open mindedness and I was like, this girl's

really cool because she's like hanging with me and she was, she was like a 10. I've never like, this is like, I talk to my friends and my brother about all the time. That was my highest. No way. You're still 90. You'd be like, oh, I remember when I was cool and I was like, you know, 20 and I was dating girls and I go, I had the love of my life was what I was talking about. That was, I don't think I'll get better.

My wife, sorry, whoever you're going to be, you're never going to be as hot as a Russian girl. Grandma is sitting next to you sad. Yeah. Her story. When did this turn into scoring the podcast about getting laid? Oh, I don't think, I could count on one hand by romantic encounters. Is this such foreign territory for me and Mitch?

Yeah. I'm not going to die, but. Hey, speak for yourself. No, he's right. I'm a loser. You have a wife. That's hard to do. That's true.

I, I, uh, I don't know if I have a wife. Yeah, there's something about us Massachusetts guys were, uh, or I guess just me and Nathan where we're losers, but hey, you, you, you pulled off what sounds like some of the lyrics from the Pina Colada song, uh, making love in the dunes of the cape. Yeah. It's a thing that everyone likes. It's a thing. I legit.

Oh, I never thought of that. I've done that. And I know that line because of the cape. Wow. Oh, that's really cool. Now you're going to do the rest of the, who sang that song? I don't know. It's not Jimmy Buffett, but people think it is Jimmy Buffett.

It's such Jimmy Buffett territory. I know who it is usually. You fucked me up today. I got to leave out the rest of the lyrics now. Is that what you're saying? I don't know what else happens. I'm going to, I'm going to, hold on. I'm going to turn off airplane mode and look it up.

Oh Jesus Christ. It's birdie. I know he says to be like Pina Colada. Something you got to do? I got it right here. It was Juliette Lewis. Ah, yes. Fuck you.

I mean, I'm going to make out with her in the dunes of the cape. Oh boy. It really is a magical place. Have you ever been out to the dunes in the cape? Oh yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. I love Cape Cod. Rupert Holmes.

Rupert Holmes. That's who it is. Never heard of them. I just want to say one thing before we get going because I get a stick up for Massachusetts. But also, you know what? Maybe I'm like you fuck Massachusetts after all. I mean, I love LA a lot more than I love Massachusetts now because I've met a lot of cooler people and nicer people and done better things in my life here.

That's, that's fair. But Massachusetts made me that way so I can't, you know, knock it too hard. Yeah, exactly. I have to say a big fuck you to fever pitch because I remember I was in college in Ithaca watching the Red Sox win the World Series and it was a great moment. And then Jimmy Fallon waltzed out onto the field and I was fucking pissed off. Yeah, because it was a, and if you're not familiar, this was a Farrelly Brothers movie about a Red Sox fan who was torn between a new love and his old love, which is a baseball team.

And they coincidentally were filming it during the Red Sox. This was their first World Series in like a hundred years. The curse was broken, right? Yeah, so this year the curse was broken. So they had, they were, correct me if I'm wrong, Mitch, they were shooting scenes during the World Series like the actors were in the stands and they were. They had written it that they were going to lose. Yeah.

And then as they were winning, they rewrote it. And then, yeah, they were shooting scenes in the stands. I was in those stands. That's cool. You got to go to a Red Sox game? Yeah, I'd never been to a Red Sox game either. And that's the first time I ever went to Fenway. I haven't been back in since, but it was cool to see, you know,

and I've always seen the Bob's Stores thing on the Green Monster. And I worked at Bob's Stores. I also got harassed back big time there and had my boss fired because he was harassing me. I got beat up and picked on a lot. Jesus Christ. I don't know if this would sound negative. No wonder why you didn't like Massachusetts. You never went to Fenway.

You had to work at Bob's. I know. I didn't have good luck in Massachusetts at all. And I'm a real happy guy. I like everybody. I don't know why I got picked on. It made me very emotional. And I actually went to a meet, I don't know, a psychic, no, a hypnotism lady recently.

And I freaking broke down and got real emotional because of all this stuff. I went to high school. I didn't realize I was like hiding it and pushing it down. But I feel like a new man now ever since I went to this lady because like I talked to my inner child and he was sad. It worked. This all worked. It worked big time.

I also went through like a pretty bad breakup a couple of years ago. And this was during that time. And then I found out that I wasn't even as upset about the breakup as I was about how I got picked on in high school and stuff. And this isn't with the Russian woman. This is with someone else. No, this was a lady. This was a psychic lady or whatever she is a hypnotist.

No, but the breakup. You're not. Well, the breakup was someone else. Okay. Shavon Price is her name. We all know. But I'm good friends with her. And we hang out.

Oh, Shavon. We watch wrestling together and she's one of my best friends out there. Yeah, she's awesome. Well, thanks for breaking my heart. Oh my God. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm sorry.

I feel horrible now because she listens to the podcast. She's the one who told me about the two boys. And I just... We love you. Hey, you're a member of Spoon Nation. You're the best. Awesome. But yeah, she told me about deal boys.

And she got me listening to deal boys with her. We drive to Las Vegas to go on like trips and stuff recently. And we listen to a lot of episodes and she's like a major fan of you guys. So... You're a big wrestling. You are a big wrestling fan. Yeah, I am. I mean...

And I got her into wrestling and she got me into deal boys. So it's an even trade. I like her payoff better. I'm on your team. Fuck you, Nathan. Sorry. Okay. Although I will say much like pro wrestling.

Bitch and I's life expectancy will top out in the low 50s. Yeah, that happens. So let's talk about food a little bit. So you've been a vegetarian since you were 20, I believe. Yep. 15 years now. What brought you to that decision initially? At first it was I like to go without things.

I like to like kind of challenge myself. And I remember I used to go without drinking soda and eating candy. I love candy. So I'd be like, I'm going to see how long I can go without eating candy. I'm going to see how long I'll go without soda. And then I was like, I'm going to see how long I'll go without eating meat. My brother Seth, my younger brother at the time was a vegetarian for like almost a year because there's a girl that we liked.

She was vegetarian. So he did it. And then he just never went back. So I was like, I'm going to try it. And I went like nine months. And then I ate a chicken chimichanga at a burrito place that young Dewey from Malcolm in the middle, his dad owned this burrito place. And there was pictures of him.

Wow. In my hometown. That's where that kid's from. He's from Milford, Massachusetts. Ah, Dewey. Dewey is there. Yeah. I don't know what it was called.

I'm looking up Dewey. Dewey is a gross neighbor. The Alamo, I think is what it was called. The Alamo. In Milford, Massachusetts. And I worked there and made chicken chimichangas. And I ate one because it looked so good. I was making it.

I was like, I got to try one. And then I was like, wasn't that good? And I went back and then haven't gone back since. Wow. And it was because I felt bad. I have this like weird thought. It's kind of like a crazy thing, but like it's, I feel like it's weird to eat something I can look at.

Yeah. I could potentially talk to you. It can hear me. It can't talk back, but it's in a way having some sort of a conversation. And then I'm going to put him in my stomach and then poop him out. I feel weird about it. It's like maybe I'm getting too deep and thinking about it. No, I get what you're saying.

But it's just, it's strange. And I was like, wow, I don't think I can do that. I felt kind of uncomfortable with the thought of like really thinking about I'm eating a body. It's almost like eating a bicycle. I'm like, why is that going through me? It doesn't belong in there. It just in my head.

It didn't make sense. And then I felt so much better after eating vegetarian, had like way more energy. I rode my bicycle everywhere and then I moved out here. I rode my bike everywhere. I survived UCB like multiple times a day from San Monica and I just never got tired. And I still have a lot of energy. And I think it has to do with, because I know I write about like blood types are different with different ways of eating and vegetarian works or some blood types.

And I think that is, it works for me. I played around with it and I totally get what you're saying about the ethics of it. Because that's the quandary I have often, especially when we're talking about meat that comes from factory farms where the conditions are just abhorrent a lot of the times for animals. But so I get what you're saying. And I tried to be, I played around with being vegetarian for a few months, not last year, I guess two years ago at this point.

And the thing I found is that my weight actually increased because since I was eating, not eating meat to make up for those calories, I was eating more starches and sugars. So it just have like, you know, and I feel like that it almost feels easier to eat unhealthy in a vegetarian diet unless you're really like being conscious of eating like a lot of fruits and vegetables because you can just eat like cheese nachos and macaroni and cheese. You can eat really unhealthy things. I did that. I just kind of took out meat at first and then I just eat everything I was still eating

and more of it and I would eat lots of candy still and lots of bread. I love bread and pancakes and like french toast and stuff. So I just eat a ton of that. Oreo cookies are vegan, I believe. Oreo cookies, yeah, they're vegan and Skittles are vegan. There's like a lot of stuff out there is vegan that you just don't even realize. But I'm not vegan. I'm just vegetarian, but I'm borderline vegan a lot of the time.

I don't drink milk and I eat eggs every once in a while, but I don't eat, use butter either. But I can't say I'm vegan because I eat, I just like stuff I eat with ingredients in it, you know. Yeah. But all my friends and my brother, like I'm surrounded by vegan people at all times. So it's just kind of like, I go to vegan restaurants all the time. Two giant pieces of cake before I came here, the vegan cake that I had made for WrestleMania. Nice. Yeah.

Did you guys watch WrestleMania? I don't know if you guys watch WrestleMania. I saw Shane McMahon jump off the top of the- Oh, so cool. That was awesome. That was great. Yeah. How was it?

Was it a good WrestleMania? No, it was. It kind of stunk, but it was not a good one this year. Everyone's complaining because almost all the wrestlers are injured right now. So there's no one there. They're just kind of like having to make up storylines and like, it's just not that great right now. But whatever, it'll get better when everyone comes back. You were close to, you were trying to get into tough enough, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I remember you were pushing. I was really hoping that you would- Yeah, that was like a joke kind of thing. ...become a WWE wrestler. I did it as a joke and I actually trained with Rikishi and I have taken wrestling training and I got pretty involved in it.

And I'm friends with a bunch of wrestlers and stuff. So I kind of have like some ins and Vince McMahon became a fan of Keith and he tweeted, he tweeted like four people like that, like a few months and I was like one of them. It was like David Letterman, someone else famous, Keith Abercary. Wow, this is crazy because he doesn't tweet that often. And my connection over there was like, oh, Vince is a big fan of yours because he likes like stupid comedy apparently. So-

What the hell happened Vince? Why are you on there? What I heard was he has ADD and if he doesn't go for it right then and there, he's already onto something else and he changes his mind. So maybe he just changed his mind or wasn't into it, but I feel like there's still an opportunity at some point if I could really push him and like go for it and try to get like some representation and not like take it on it. But I also got injured a lot while wrestling more so than I had to have with my physical

comedy career. And I was like, I don't want to jeopardize this just to like have a stint in wrestling. Really? It's very brutal on your body and you're in incredible shape and you're an incredible physical performer. Thanks. I'm a real firefighter. But I can just imagine just like what it's like it's a real beating when you're going

into that matter slamming those ropes, right? It seems like it would be easier. Like I fall on the hard ground and I've banged myself up big time at UCB and on wood and I've fallen from the ceiling at UCB. I've done a lot of stuff there. I did a talk show, What's Going On and there was a in one of the shows that we would there was a talk show where I didn't know it was going to happen or what the guests were going to be or whatever.

We talked about a little bit on the show. Yeah. It's really basically was a precursor for dough boys in terms of the total absence of preparation in your part. Well, I enjoyed myself on What's Going On. That was awesome. I love that show. It was a great show.

I thought it was so funny. Well, that bit you did was amazing. They spun a wheel and I think one of the things was skydiving. I don't know if we ever actually landed on it, but you were in the rafters from the start of the show and I never even knew you were up there. I remember being so, I was watching the whole thing. I was up there for about an hour and a half and my legs started going numb because of the position I had to be on.

I was right where the monitors were. I was like right in front of them and I remember knocking some dust down at one point and I was like, oh no, someone's going to look up at me and no one looked the whole time and I had to like stretch my legs because I were going numb and I was afraid if I was going to drop down, my legs would be asleep. I just collapsed and like my legs wouldn't be a support me. Yeah. So I remember having to stretch around and I was getting kind of nervous and my palms

were sweating because I was up there for so long. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to like hurt myself. And I told the guys, I was like, I'll be good. Don't worry about me. And it worked out fine. My legs came, woke up when it came time to drop down. But yeah, I remember you like, it was pretty surprised. Oh, I was insanely surprised.

I was shocked. That was a good bit. I was really happy with that. That was fun. And also you, to give Nathan credit here, he did about what's close to like a 12 foot pratfall. He fell from the rafter straight down onto his body on the stage. Yeah.

That was cool. And I had to be up there before Cody and everyone like sat people. So I was up there for a very long time. See, if a man like me fell like that, one, the theater would be destroyed. And two, I would be so hurt. And you, you too, I wouldn't be able to take a fall like that. I don't, I still couldn't get over how you did it. Yeah.

I just kind of figured out the UCB is actually what taught me a lot about falling and learning things. And I like did, I've kind of been banged up so much there. My elbow swelled up one night. We're doing a wrestling show actually in my, I banged my elbow. It was host. I was hosting Harold and I think with a bunch of other guys to promote a wrestling show and my banged my elbow and it got fat within like 10 seconds.

Like we watched it all like get big with goo. And it was, it was like a golf balls in there. And I got pretty nervous about that. And then how to ride my bike home to St. Mock after this. I've been beaten up so bad at UCB, but it's kind of taught me how to like fall and not get hurt. Cause it's live.

You have to do it right in front of everyone. So yeah. Oh, the, oh, UCB a lot. I have one grisly injury at UCB upright citizens brigade that was so random and not even associated with doing a show. And I still don't quite know how it happened, but there was this show, there's a show sketch cram, which is right an entire sketch show in one day and then perform at night. I was in the show and I backstage, there's a door with a standard, you know, twist door

handle. And as I was exiting the door, closing the door behind me, the skin in my palm got caught in the, the part that turns the, the part of the knob that connects to the door. And yeah. And it twisted and then just split open my skin and my hand just started gushing blood. And I was like, it hurt fucking terribly, but I was also like, how did I do that? Like I had no idea. Sounds like you had baggy hands.

Yeah. It was really weird. It was like, it really was just like excess palm skin, which I don't even think is a thing. Just somehow got caught in that. It was such a freak. I don't know if anyone's ever had that injury, but yeah, I did do the rest of the show like holding a paper towel, just sopping up blood. Oh yeah.

I agree with Nathan that definitely sounds like you have baggy hands. That sounds like, that sounds like a horror movie, like I'm a, I'm a baggy hand killer. Clive Barker was really running on fumes there. I don't know, fucking old baggy hands. I, I bled on my face one time and not too shabby when I did this whole bit where I just kept like, I think I don't know what I was doing, but I remember I dove head first into a trash can at one point and then I popped out of the trash can and I had a zit on my forehead and I banged the zit so it busted open and started bleeding and I came out,

everyone gasped. They were like, oh, and I was like, oh, maybe they were just like, oh, because I took such a great fall. They were like, wow, that's crazy. But then I went back into the green room and I saw this blood running down my face and it looked worse than it was, but it was just a zit. Yeah. That's just because I was dirty.

I think it was at this show actually, because I remember one of the first times I saw you perform, you had like a bleeding gas in your head and I was like, Jesus Christ, this guy is insanely committed. Was that a shabby? No, not too shabby. Or maybe this was a different time you cut yourself open. There's been a few. I don't remember.

But yeah, shabby was where I tested out everything and got real beat up and banged up. I remember those days. Yeah. Those were good. I never, well, go ahead. I was just going to say how to talk because I remember listening to Neil's episode of Doe Boyz. Pizza Hut.

Pizza Hut. And he was talking about how the birthday boys and what he used to call you guys and me and my brother and my friends used to call you guys white pants because I remember you did the Labor Day sketch. I was like, oh, I hope the white pants guys are there tonight and then I'd always see you there. And that's what we called you. They used to call you Ithaca guys or something like that, right?

I think I've seen that sketch live 10 times, but it basically the premise is that the Tim Calpakis' character is wearing white after Labor Day. That's right. And then it's a very, very funny sketch. We just got made fun of for how many times we've done that sketch for so long. I've seen all those sketches and all the hot dogs and sketches so many times and I feel like every time I saw the pizza place or the Italian restaurant sketch, I laughed harder and harder every time.

I loved it. I loved it. You guys are climbing over the audience. Oh, it was so funny to me. Well, we were there all the time. We had no social lives. I remember every Friday night, that was my favorite thing to do. I knew my brother would write a routine for me and then ride our bikes to UCB, perform,

and then ride home. It was like my highlight of my week. Oh, yeah. Me too. Thanks to Neil and Paul for the best times of my life. It was a great time and when I look back on it, I think about how it was a great time in my life and I feel pathetic a lot of ways. What a different era when there was actually some joy in going to perform.

Yeah, I'm afraid to perform now. I haven't shown in a long time and I think I have anxiety about it. Yeah, sure. After so many, I've got to get you to get busy and you try to do stuff that pays now and I just, the last show I did, I actually broke the screen at the new UCB. Oh, no. The new big pull down one. Last show I did.

Did Besser run out? No, he wasn't there, but I was like, that's how I'm like manager, I was like, tell Besser I'll pay for it. I feel so bad. I always felt so bad. This is like when over the wall, like I usually do. I caught my leg on the screen. I ripped the metal bar and it was brand new and it's like an automated thing that, oh,

I felt horrible, but they were like, oh, no, it's cool, Besser, I didn't care or whatever. And I just feel like Cody and everyone hated me because I was always breaking, Jimmy was always like, please don't break a light tonight at the Franklin Street Theater. There's so many kids over there now, they get, it's paid for. Yeah, I hope so. Casually throwing out the first names of UCB theater managers and lighting techs. I'm not going to be saying names. We're talking about street corners in Worcester, Massachusetts and it's Worcester.

That's one thing about Massachusetts, all the names are spelled wrong. Lemonster is, should be Leo Minster, but it's lemon stat, say it one way, read it one way and it's said one way, it's three ways to say it. But it's a great place and it's a, wait, were you ever a vegetarian in Massachusetts? Yes, that's where I started being a vegetarian. Did you eat, so did you ever, were you strictly vegetarian or did you eat a pescatarian? No, I was strictly, and I didn't eat, is that when you eat fish? Yeah.

No, I never, I stopped, I didn't eat anything. I stopped anything. I had eyes, I didn't eat anything. You know what, good for you. I feel like the pescatarian thing is such a, just commit. I know, it's still me. It's a Saudi. It's definitely me.

Fuck you. No, I feel like just commit to one or the other. If you're pescatarian, you're kind of walking the line, like go all the way. Yeah, I don't think you can say a vegetarian if you eat fish. And I will also say this, from what I've read, and you know, their sources may disagree, but from what I've read, the damage to the ecosystem from industrial fishing is worse than from industrial ranching. Oh really?

I would say that, you know, if you are going to avoid any meat, avoid fish and stick with the land stuff, because all the trawling and the long line fishing, that stuff really, really fucks up the environment. Yeah. I just stay away from it all. I don't want to go to jail for murder. That's a joke, I said one time, it never works, because in my head, I hear it one way, this just doesn't work, it's not that funny, but I like it.

I love meat, and I love fish, I like it all. Yeah. I'm kind of the heel of this episode. Ah, you're the wrestling heel. I'm the wrestling heel. I'm the bad guy of this episode, because I was that different from a normal episode. I'm the good guy. I don't think you are.

You have this warped in your head. No, no, no. This is insane. This is insane. I'm amalgamation, I'm a composite character of Finn and Rey, and you're Kylo Ren slash Snoke. Oh my god. Yes, you are as boring as Finn in my mind.

I know Mitch doesn't like the new Star Wars, and I agreed with you at first when I was listening, because I was like, yeah, it wasn't that great. I was mad at how similar it was to all the Star Wars. I was like, they just did all the Star Wars. And I was very, I was like, that's stupid, I felt like I was ripped off, and I saw it again to just watch it a second time and be like, okay, maybe it's things I missed. And I also actually watched to watch for how much Lens Flare was, because I hate how much Lens Flare did to Abrams, Abrams puts in his movies.

And I forgot to look for the Lens Flare because I got caught up in the movie and I started liking it. I was like, wow, this is pretty good. I just had a really fun time watching it. And I like every movie that sounds stupid, but I see, I saw Battleship alone, there's no one else in the theater. I just go see anything, Dolphin Tale, I'll go see it. I saw Battleship, liked it better than Force Awakens.

You like Battleship better than Force Awakens? A hundred percent. That's probably the end when they're like, what's got the veterans to help us out? And they got one last try, like, you know, it was like, oh, come on, it's like to go America for me. But I like anything that's on film, honestly, I just like looking at things and being entertained. So Star Wars, it won me over the second time and it was a good movie, I think, the second time.

I like this, go ahead. No, you go. I was just going to say, I like to see movies by myself and I will say, I like to see movies and theaters by myself and that the time when I just like realized I need to stop doing that is when I saw Monsters Inc. by myself as an adult male during a matinee screening and I was like the one, the one adult is amongst like amongst a bunch of families and... Was it a mummy and me screening? I just feel suspicious eyes on me the whole time, I was like, oh boy, this is not fun.

I see a lot of movies alone and I actually cry in them alone a lot. I got real emotional this past year. I cry a lot now, I probably shouldn't say it out loud, but I see movies, I lost my mind when I saw what's it, Lauren Gosling movie where he rides a dirt bike, Placed Beyond the Pines, one of my favorite movies of all time. It's amazing. I've seen it, I've got the DVD, I have the digital download, I've watched it four times in movie theater, I've lost my mind, I started crying uncontrollably and I saw that alone

many times. I love going to movies alone and crying, it feels so nice, it's good, going to movies alone is great. I think people should do it more often. I do it. You can concentrate better too. Well the way you feel about movies, you like all of them, I usually feel that way about food, but vegan vegetarian food has always been...

Great segue, that was a legitimately good segue. Tricky for me, this is the truth. Can I ask you, is it because, a lot of people say it's who eat meat is because it's basically how to act, if you want to be vegetarian food, don't act like meat and don't make it meat substance, because that's a lot of people say to me. There's a part of that, I remember, I even remember like, so in Ithaca there's a, God what the hell is that famous vegetarian restaurant, Moosewood or something? Someone knows it, someone tweeted at us, hashtag Ithaca, who gives a shit.

I think it's Moosewoods, I forget the name of it, but there's a famous vegetarian restaurant, I never ate there, and then when I was out here doing an LA, the LA program, which was like my last semester of college, which was really like my last three credits of college, my roommate Raphael Goldberstein was... Shout out to Goldberstein. Goldberstein, I don't know what he's up to, he's around somewhere, I'm sure. He was a vegetarian and we went to, and he's like, would you like to come to this vegetarian restaurant with me?

I was like, sure, why not? I'll fucking try it out. Because you know, I'm an open guy, I'll try anything, and I went down and did not like it. Do you remember what it was? It was that place kind of right where the, where Oakwoods is, at the end of, if you're driving, if you drive down to like where Ventura is, across the bridge from like Universal, was a little tiny place, I don't even know if it's still open, but it was supposed to

be really good. And this is, I mean, this is a decade ago. Yeah. Was this a, what style of vegetarian restaurant was this? Was this one like Veggie Grill, where they're trying to recreate the hits without me? It was like I was saying, which place or something. It was probably a Veggie Grill precursor, like it was supposed to be good. I did not like it.

I think I had like a burger, or maybe it was like a chicken patty, it just, it just tasted strange. Yeah, it does, it sure is. I remember what switched really helped me switch was, there's a brand called Corn with a Q, Q-U-O-R-N, and they make like vegetarian patties. And my girlfriend at the time, she went to, at first time I had this was in Suffolk University, right next to Emerson, and I had corn, because she was vegetarian, and it was, I was like, oh my gosh, this is, I thought I was eating chicken.

It was so similar to chicken, and I just enjoyed the taste better than actual chicken, and it wasn't as, I just like, teared up hard as easily, as hard, and I was like, this is great, and it made me feel better about like being vegetarian, I was like, this is going to be so easy. So, I like, just kind of took to it, but I totally get it, it is a weird texture, it's different, and when you're thinking, it's kind of obnoxious, why are you trying to be me, if I totally understand why people wouldn't like it. I don't even get to, it's just like if it's like a thick patty, and it's supposed to be

like a chicken patty, and I'm looking at it, and I'm like, what is this, and what does this even taste like? It's really hard, I feel like more so than the flavor, it's really hard to get the texture right. Yeah, well, Beyond Meats is a new brand, which I think has it pretty down, and also Gardene, which Veggie Girl uses, that's my favorite of vegan meats, Gardene and Beyond Meat are like, it's really very similar, so if you try those, it also has to be like flavored and seasoned, I don't know how to cook, so I don't, I just like, honestly, I just heat

up veggie patties in my toaster, and I eat them on a stick, like I do on Thanksgiving with a Tofurky, I don't know how to prepare foods, I just eat stuff like that. Well, I mean, but it still tastes good. I will say, and I think Mitch was driving towards this point a little earlier, when I generally eat vegetarian, which is not a large percentage of my meals, but it is a certain percentage of my meals, it will be things like, I will generally go to try to avoid fake meat, and so it'll be things like, I'll have an, I'll have an, this isn't vegan, but I'll have an omelet that's got, you know, cheese and avocado, and you know, I'm just

emitting meat. Yeah, or, you know, we'll go to this, Minali, my wife, we like to go to this Indian restaurant called Chani, which is a vegetarian Indian restaurant, and just like none of the food is an approximation of meat, it's just all, you know, it's like spinach dishes and potato dishes that never at any point had meat, and they're all just really well seasoned and really well flavored, and you have that with rice, you have that with naan, and that's like very satisfying, and that to me achieves a quality that's greater than what you'll get from most of the meat approximation outlets.

Yeah, I feel like Veggie Girl is the vegan McDonald's, it's just like, here's fast, quick food, and it's like, because it's such a thing to eat like a plate of vegetables with seasoning, it's like, it feels like a real fancy meal, but I think this is like, kind of like, here, eat some fast food, vegan food, and you don't have to feel as guilty for it. Oh yeah, and I think that's a lot of their menu is sandwiches, they have very good salads. Kind of like soul food, maybe, right? It is, like it's a lot of sandwiches, it's a lot of things like, you know, I think they mentioned earlier, like nachos and mac and cheese and buffalo wings.

They had chili, I don't say the chili anymore, but they used to have chili. They have the best pudding parfait in the world, in my opinion. We went together and you got that pudding parfait, that tasted, that was real, real good. Every day, I told you then, but I've eaten so many meals there where they started giving me meals on the house just for being there all the time. This is the Santa Monica location, and then actually they started doing the Arclight one too because I go there a lot too, but I don't know how it's like, they kind of keep you going, you know, keep you there, but that parfait, I have had three times in a day.

I've eaten their three meals, I didn't leave for like a span of eight hours one time when I was like writing things, and I just ate three meals there, but that parfait, I could eat one every single day. I got a question for you, you don't drink milk, you said? No, I don't. Do you eat eggs or no, is that? I do eat eggs, and I have yogurt sometimes, so I have like mild, are eggs dairy? I was not saying dairy sometimes.

We had this discussion last time, our last episode, and I thought Manny's was dairy, and a number of listeners corrected me that it's not. I thought dairy included things that were, I thought eggs were dairy, but I guess they're not technically dairy. I think it used to be like a food chart or whatever. I think, what are they in there? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of, of the old food pyramid slash four food groups from way, way back.

I always feel like eggs were looped in with milk and cheese and butter, and certainly they're that way at the grocery store, the dairy case, but I guess they're not technically dairy because dairy only applies to milk-based products. I agree with those listeners, I think you're a dumb ass. I think eggs are dairy, I'm sticking with it. Yeah, I guess you could stick them in there, or maybe they're in their own category, because isn't it just like dead embryos, or eggs? What are eggs?

They're like, they're dead chicken pee-pees aren't they? They're unfertilized. Unfertilized chickens. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So they're their own thing. Yeah, they're great. They're delicious.

I like eggs. Eggs are awesome. I eat them, and I probably shouldn't. I mean, that's not a vegan person who wouldn't eat eggs, but I mean, I don't know. I don't care. I don't want to, I'm not like here to prove to anything, so I eat eggs and yogurts. Playing an egg can't hurt a chicken too much. Well, I had chickens and I had to chew this.

It probably feels good. Yeah, and they just come out. That's the reason I'm like, oh, eggs just are always coming out at chickens. They'll just lay an egg a day in general. Yeah, that's what I've heard, and my mom had chickens for a long time. We eat those eggs, so she used to sell eggs and stuff from her chickens. I think like all things there's a, the ethical discussion is, what slaughter is its own thing? Is it right to kill, to harvest meat?

But if we're talking about like, you know, basically, at a fundamental level, imprisoning animals and then, you know, harvesting their milk and their eggs, is that okay? I feel like that's a little easier for me to justify if we're taking the idea of like, okay, well, we're giving them food and shelter and helping them survive as long as they're not in one of those horrific environments where they're like, you know, in cages stacked 12 high and then they, they, they're so tightly packed, they can't turn around. I guess there's so many arguments you can make about it. There's like free range stuff, which is like, you know, obviously better if it's truly free

range. Yeah. How much space they actually have. But how regulated is that too? Yeah. And like, I wish you could measure their happy meters, I don't think you could do that. But like so many of the animals in the factory farms, like maybe going up to like San Francisco, you can smell the factory farms out here.

And those are like, they're, they're grown. Those animals are grown there and they're made just to be eaten. That's like an android in a way. And you're just eating this fake animal that's, I don't know, I think it's like all kinds of steroids. I don't, I'm not really educated about anything in the world, but my friends who are vegan talk about things. I'm like, oh, okay, really?

And I just kind of hear things, but like, I don't know, I can't speak on stuff very well because I feel like I'll say something wrong. But I just think it's wrong to like prison any living being and then just eat it. Like what a sad life. It makes me feel sad. So I just don't want to even have anything to do. Well, I have a side point. Yeah.

It's just that eggs are fucking weird. They are weird. They are. Like they come out of a chicken, like a hard egg comes out of a chicken. And then inside. Yeah. How is it made too? Is it, is it being hardened inside?

I don't know. I don't, eggs are fucking weird. I agree with you. And then they come out. And then like the rooster, rooster, give me, let me get this straight. Yeah. A rooster will go over and like fuck a chicken, a hen, right? No, it's just dumping them out.

They're just dumping them out anyway. It's like a period in the way. It's like a daily period basically, that they're just dispensing. Wait, what? An egg is, it's like, it's not like a fertilized, it's not like the hen got fucked by the rooster and then that's what made the egg. It's not a baby. So the rooster fucks an egg?

No. The egg, it's like the egg is coming out no matter what. Okay. Where it's like, okay. That's when it's ready to have, is that when it's, it's cycle, it's when it's being, it could be put in at that time. The human or mammal analogous is like how, you know, like a woman has her period and there's an egg.

Jesus Christ. I don't want to get too graphic. So does the chicken have a cycle then? I think so basically, but it's just vastly accelerated. It's like when Yoshi eats an enemy and then an egg pops out. No, it's not. Okay. That doesn't make sense though.

It's like that, that chicken, no matter what, like Yoshi is turning whatever it consumes into an egg on a regular basis. It's not that immediate, but that's fundamentally what's happening. Is there ever a moment where a chicken will hatch and or spit out an egg and a mushroom will come out of it? No, you get those in the yellow boxes at the farm. All right. Let's, yes.

Eggs are weird and it's also weird that they're a crucial component of baking. It's really weird that like you, this thing that comes out of a chicken is something you mix in with flour and that makes bread and that, that just like is, that's crazy to me. But nowadays you can eat a cake like the cake I had tonight and you would never tell. I swear to you, I have friends that will tell people, it's not flowerless. I don't think because I don't think that messes with vegan stuff, but I think it's just no milk and eggs and other substitutes. I've, I've gotten these baked goods as a vegan baker, teenage baker girl here named Clara.

Clara cakes is her name and she makes like the best cakes and cupcakes and all that stuff. You wouldn't know they're vegan. I will say desserts, it feels like is the thing that, and maybe it's just all the, the sugar and the chocolate and things you can get away and vanilla or things that are just naturally vegan. Desserts it feels like are the closest vegans have come to sort of conquering that, the food world. Like that's like, oh, that stuff is really, really good.

And a lot of times, in, in dis, what's the word I'm looking for? Indistinguishable. Indistinguishable. Yeah. I was like, we're indistinguishable, but indistinguishable works too. They're vegan in disguise. You can't tell. Um, so speaking of which, I think veggie grill is one of the better outlets in terms of disguising

what it is. And there are certainly some menu items at veggie grill that would trick me as someone who eats meat. I think the buffalo wings, which I didn't get on my most recent visit, but are fairly common. I think I've gotten a few times there. And I've certainly gotten that buffalo wing salad. That's one of them where I feel like, I think if you gave this to me blind, I might assume

this is because it's got that crispy texture, it's got that good sauce. It's so naturally, heavily seasoned. I might assume that's a, a real buffalo wing. My manager is like a big meat eater and he goes there with me a lot. And he, he said he, the first time was questioning if it was actually meat. Yeah. It's, it's kind of amazing that it actually is vegan and we can get into our, our most recent years a little bit.

Yeah. So, um, Nathan, you and I went, I got the BTLA, which is BLT is one of my favorite sandwiches. And so this is the vegan version with smokey tempeh bacon, sliced tomatoes, avocado, cilantro pesto, tossed arugula, aioli mayo and grilled sourdough. The grilled sourdough bread was very nice. Um, it has like, you know, kind of that panini char, which I really liked with a grilled bread. So a lot of times when you get that, uh, what would you get to be all T traditionally, it's

just toast, but it's nice to get that good grilled bread. And I will say the issue with this sandwich for me is just, and this can be a problem with the outside of it being vegan. It just wasn't staying together very well. Um, and I feel like, you know, about midway through, I was ending up with a lettuce sandwich because everything was just falling out of there and the avocado was nice. I like avocado on a BLT generally. Yeah.

That's how you take your burgers in the tournament of chompians. Wait, what? Let us say what she said. I said, that's how you take your fucking burgers in the tournament. Oh my God, let it go. That was one round where I got lettuce wrapped. Also, I'm not talking about, I feel like that's still a burger if it's got lettuce wrapped around it.

I'm not talking about what the bun is. I'm talking about the insides. It was just, it was bread with lettuce inside of it. It's a different situation. Okay, carry on. Anyway, it was very tasty. The tempeh bacon is some of the better fake bacon I've had. But you know, that sandwich was just...

That's a hard thing to get too. Which is falling apart. The bacon is never really good, it's a cardboard, but theirs is pretty good. It's pretty good. And then their fries are very good. They have these seasoned, these seasoned fries, and you know, again, potatoes, fries, unless they're fried in lard or naturally vegetarian slash vegan, and they're really, really good there.

They're well seasoned, just a great texture. Perfect size and thickness. Perfect size and thickness. Just outstanding fries and those come with it. I also got a cup of fresh asparagus soup, which is just described as scratch made with fresh asparagus and mint. The host warned me that it would be bland. I tried it anyway in the interest of this podcast.

It's pretty bland. That's a weird thing to say. Maybe they just have to... Maybe they know it's not great and they just say it. I think that was basically just being upfront of just like, do you want to try it first? It's pretty bland. And I was like, no, I'm definitely not. Did you describe it as the wiger of soups?

At least I had some soup, you soupless bitch. I also got an organic pomegranate green iced tea, which was very tasty, just lightly sweetened and very flavorful. Yeah, just overall, you know, I feel like I never have a disappointing meal there. It's always pretty good. I generally get a salad, but their sandwiches are good too. And if you're eating with a vegetarian friend and you're someone who eats meat, I feel like it's a pretty good approximation to the real thing.

What about you guys? Go ahead, David. Well, I eat almost the same thing every single time I go there. And I've probably eaten over there, eaten there over 200 times. More than that. I don't know how to count, but I've eaten there a lot. And I get the Santa Fe crispy chicken sandwich. It's so good.

I get it without onion, don't like onion, can't have that messing it up. And then I get the chili, I'm sorry, they got rid of the chili. That's what I used to get. And now I get the lentil soup on the side. And a pudding parfait is what I got at the end. And that's just crushed Oreo cookies with pudding and then whipped cream. That sounds delicious. It's so, really, really good.

It's so thick and perfect. It's amazing. But that's Santa Fe crispy chicken sandwich is I love sandwiches. I don't like forks. I don't like messing around with fancy stuff. I love eating sandwiches so much. You like spoons though, right? I do love spoons.

I love the spoon, man. I love the spoon. What is the name of your following? The Spoon Nation, baby. Spoon Nation. That's right. Yes, yes. I do love spoons, actually.

More so than forks. I like scooping stuff. And I love cereal. So I like eating cereal. Hell yeah, man. Would you say that Santa Fe sandwich, since it's a regular order, you get it pretty consistently. Would you say that sandwich is pretty consistent in terms of quality? Yes.

It's pretty much all I've ever changed. I mean, I've never been disappointed. I find one thing I like and I never go back. I eat the same thing over and over and over. That's how I am for a long time. I get that. I've never been disappointed. I'm like, oh, I shouldn't have gutted this time.

I've tried a couple other things. It's not like a bad vegan, I would say a bad vegetarian. I've been there so many times and I haven't tried like 90% of the menu, but I don't need to. Yeah, I think that's a lot. And I think that's a lot of people consume chain food as they find what's reliable that they like. So it's certainly a check mark in their favor that they can just pull it off consistently.

What about you, Mitch? Okay, so I got the buffalo wings. With the buffalo sauce on them? Yep. Okay. Tossed in spicy buffalo sauce with celery sticks and creamy ranch dressing. And before I kind of go into that, let me just say that I too also got the Santa Fe crispy chicken sandwich.

Fried chicken, obviously not real chicken. This tomato, red onion, avocado, spicy mayo. And you can get that blackened... Spicy mayo? Yeah, spicy mayo. I don't think I've ever had spicy mayo. Did you get avocado on there? I got avocado on there.

I get avocado. And it comes on like a wheat roll. Did you add the mayonnaise? It says under the description that there's a spicy mayo. Oh, because it comes in the little thing. It comes in the little dishes and you add it yourself, maybe? It says that it's included. Maybe I don't know what I'm eating.

I just kind of eat it and it's just in there. I have no idea, honestly. You know what? The avocado really takes over the flavor of it. It kind of falls out, too, a little bit, so there's so much they put on there. Yeah, the avocado kind of takes over the whole flavor of it. I feel like you're really going to deal, too, when you get avocado and they don't charge you for it at a restaurant, especially out here.

Avocados usually do like a $1.25 to add, and it's just on that. It's on there, and it's not too bad. It's about 11 bucks total. You can get the chicken blackened upon request. I did not do it. And then I got mine with the fries. And I'll agree with you guys. Those fries are really, really surprisingly, really good.

Great fries. I like so much so that I'm like, wow, these are like contenders for fast food. They're great. They're way up there. My friends and I will go there sometimes just to get a big thing of fries and just hang out and eat fries and then putting. We go there for dessert and fries a lot. The seasoning is great.

The fry is really, really good. I also got a strawberry lemonade. Here comes my complaint. Go for it. The strawberry lemonade machine was out, so I just got a bunch of seeds. And then I got the regular lemonade kind of filled it up. The regular lemonade is really good. It's not over.

Everything there is not overly sugary. Yeah. You can tell the difference after having regular lemonade and you have it there. I was like, oh, this is better for me, lemonade. Yeah. It's really good. So here comes my breakdown of the meal. The buffalo chicken, you're right.

They do a really good job with the buffalo chicken. They're crispy and you can't really, it just tastes like some sort of buffalo. The crispiness hides a lot of the tofu and the guadine that's in there because the crispiness is so tasty. You kind of don't know what it is. It could be paper inside. Who knows. And then you just dip it in the ranch sauce, which is really good too.

So I enjoyed it. I got mine to go and then I ate it there with friend of the podcast, Mike Hanford, who didn't love veggie grill. He got it for work too much, so he wasn't a huge fan of it. But I thought the buffalo strips were pretty good. I enjoyed them. I get those without the buffalo sauce. I think they're just called chile wings.

Oh, okay. I get those. It's basically just the same patty as a veggie, the Santa Fe. So you're just having another sandwich kind of alone. But I do that a lot. I'll get those to go after and I'll eat them on the car on my way home after I eat there. Especially when they're crispy like that, I would almost say the more well done, the better.

Eating those, I was like, would I rather have these or would I rather have, like there's a restaurant here called Mohawk Bend that has buffalo cauliflower. And it was hard to judge. I don't know. They did a really, really good job about it. I didn't get Goldberstein this time. I was really let down with Rafi Goldberstein. And the Santa Fe chicken sandwich, I liked it a lot.

It worked just really well as a whole sandwich. The fluffy bread, the bread's really good. It's like wheat bread. The bread is good and you don't get... It's funny because the chicken patty was thick, but it... I didn't get hung up on the taste of it too much. It just tasted like fried and good. I would say that it was maybe the best version of a vegetarian sandwich I've ever had.

I think that's pretty much right. That's what keeps me going back. It's a good, solid mainstream vegetarian restaurant because other places can get a little artistic with their food and try different things and it's like, eh, this is just so solid. And here's the thing I think that is worth considering when you're weighing this place as an option is that we have... If we're not a vegetarian ourselves, we may have friends or family members or work colleagues who are vegetarians.

And I think if you're someone who is an omnivore, who eats meat, Veggie Grill is a pretty acceptable... Not acceptable. I think it's a good option to have lunch with your vegetarian friend. A friend of the podcast, Evan Susser, was mentioning that his wife, Jamie, is a vegetarian. So they end up going there a lot. Nathan, you're a vegetarian and you and I were just meeting for lunch and we were just like, oh, let's just go to Veggie Grill because that's a place you like before we're ever going to do this podcast.

If I was with a vegetarian buddy... It's a good option. There's another place out here, Gracia Simadre, which is really good. And when I was there, I had a black bean burger. That's the big question to me is, do I like the fake chicken or the fake beef or do I like something that's like a black bean burger? Sure. Black bean burgers are really...

Chili's is why I got... When I had my 20s at Chili's, I'd get the black bean burger all the time. And that's kind of the big question with me with vegetarian food is, do I want to try something? And I tried it at this place because I was like, I should because I'm eating here and I liked it. It was good. And I never usually like stuff like that.

I don't. I don't usually like it. I think it's the best place for a segue into vegetarian, the vegetarian world, if you're interested at all. I just want to try it. It's the best place to go. You can kind of eat like a king there, I think, if you're trying to eat meat less late.

You feel full after, too. I always feel very full. But also like light. If I eat there, I usually eat a salad. My go-to is the banh mi salad, which is, I think that's more just flavored tofu. It's less like they're trying to approximate meat with that salad. That's all I usually get. But even having a sandwich and fries, it's still like, it's got a lightness to it where

you don't feel super heavy afterwards. There was a Bernie Sanders rally at CNN, and so all the Bernie Sanders rallyers were in Veggie Grill afterwards. It couldn't have been more of a Veggie Grill one out there. Yeah, that's the perfect experience for a newcomer to Veggie Grill. We all hear all these hippies dancing around. Mitch, how did they react to your Make America Great Again hat? You sick fuck.

Can I ask you guys a post Veggie Grill question? Sure. I don't want to get too gross, but after I have Veggie Grill almost every time, I have to go to the bathroom a lot. Interesting. And it's just... So this might be one of your hashtags. It's happening down there before and after, and I'm like, it really churns you up.

I don't know if it's because it's loose or what it does to your bowels. It's just, it's almost like you ate too much fruit in a day. It happens to me almost every time. It might be hashtag fastest to go, as we had before. I think it was fastest to do, to two. Fastest to two, that's what it was. Fastest tattoo. I'm pretty squeamish about poop stuff.

I think I find it very gross. I did not have any sort of, I will say it very abstractly, I did not have any sort of adverse intestinal reaction to my Veggie Grill experience, nor do I have in general. I don't want to hold myself as being a guy who went to Veggie Grill and had to run home and shit his pants. You ran home to shit your pants. Well, I also just found out I have irritable bowel syndrome, so maybe I'm just exposing myself right now.

You guys have to poop a lot too after? I may have irritable bowel syndrome. I will say that I think I did go home and maybe had to use the restroom, but I had just seen a movie at the Arclight and had a popcorn in a popcorn and... My brother says it the same way as you. He also says, when it's hot out, he says, hut. Do you say hut? It's hut outside?

Oh yeah, everyone tells me to say hut dog. Yeah, that's a message you just said there. Well, don't overcorrect yourself, you say, be you. Hot dog. Hot dog. Yeah. So, it could have been just that I was eating a bunch of popcorn, ugh, I can't believe I admitted this.

Nathan, god damn it. I saw the midnight special and it was a nice movie. Oh, I want to see that. I keep forgetting. I really want to see that movie. It was fun. I enjoyed it. It was a good time.

And I enjoyed my experience overall. It was a pleasant experience for a guy who is a meat eater. And this was your first visit, right? This was my first visit. I will say that the thing with Veggie Grill, I could see myself eating that food and not eating meat. But I don't know if it would have any helpful effects on my, I don't know if it would be kind of a beneficial for my health because I feel like it's, I feel like I would eat

a lot of the French like you were talking about. You can eat pretty unhealthy. Well, I force myself because I eat the farads every time and then I kind of start feeling guilty. So, I would get the lentil soup and I didn't like lentil soup before but now I really like lentil soup. So, I'll sometimes upgrade to the bowl of lentil soup instead of just the side cup. And I rarely eat the fries.

If my friends get them, I'll have a little bit of them. But most of the time, I get the soup just to like make myself feel better about it. But also, I eat there all the time. So, I'm like, well, I'll get the fries eventually. It's a good point and I think it's a thing to be conscious of but I think there are some, it's kind of on you if you eat that way at Veggie Grill because there are some healthier options. You can go that salad route.

All right. At this point, let's get to our final thoughts on Veggie Grill. So Nathan, this is how this will work. We'll sort of give our overall closing argument and then you can rate the chain on a scale of one to five forks. So, we'll start with you. Wow. Well, I eat mostly, I guess you could say vegan when I go out to eat because that's

like kind of in LA, it's not really just vegetarian food, it's usually just vegan. And I have a few favorites and I wouldn't want to say Veggie Grill is my favorite because it's kind of the chain, it's the McDonald's of them all but I'd probably have to because that Santa Fe Crispy Chicken Sandwich is so good. So I would give it five forks because I eat there all the time constantly and it's my favorite meal in the entire world. Wow. Yeah.

Can't argue with a personal statement like that. And I'd say I used to like Burger King fries the most out of all, I also go to Burger King, I get the Veggie Burger sometimes and fries and those are the best fries I've ever had in my life until I went to Veggie Grill. Wow. A fan of Burger King which should have moved on in our tournament of the audience. All right Mitch, go ahead. Okay, so you know there's a saying in Massachusetts, veggies lead to wedgies, that's probably part

of Nathan's issue. Yeah, that's probably my problem. Oh Jesus Christ, I can't believe I said that. I have always enjoyed meat, I was a picky eater when I was younger and then now I've grown to enjoy all types of food and doing so I opened mine with Raphael Goberstein and I did not like what I experienced and then I've eaten vegetarian on occasion. At work I would be upset when they're like we're going to go to this vegetarian restaurant today because to me it wasn't fair because then it's almost a weird exclusion thing of

well if you're going to a restaurant there's vegetarian options at almost every place you want to go but now you're like excluding everyone. Veggie Grill to me is a place that if we were getting it at work and we're going to Veggie Grill once every week or once every couple of weeks, I'd be 100% fine with it, I would enjoy it. I think that it's the best version of a vegetarian meal I've ever had. It's really, really good, really, really well done and I would eat there again. If I was hanging out with you Nathan, you want to go to Veggie Grill, I'd be down to

go there in a second. I'll go after this if you guys want, no problem. I got to take into consideration, even though I like eating fish, I like eating meat and I do feel bad about it like Wygherd but I'm not going to get old preachy but I got to look at this through that lens and I'm going to say four forks. Very good score. Yeah. You also get, this is a quick note that people might not know, you get free meals by going

there. Yeah, there's like an app you can sign up for. It was a better deal before and I mean my brother took major advantage of it and got straight up free meals constantly by taking pictures of other people's receipts and I feel like I can expose myself now to the Veggie Grill CEOs. I think the statute of limitations has expired on that. Yeah, it's all different now but now you get like $10 every like 10 meals or whatever and you get basically a free meal.

Yeah, it seems like a decent rewards program for what it's worth. That's cool. My thoughts on Veggie Grill parallel mitches which are, it's a very, very good execution. The best execution of the fake meat, American comfort food, diner style, whatever you want to call it, you order the counter but it's the kind of food you would get at a diner and it's very well done, kind of the kind of food you would get a sports bar too. It kind of like I think describes the range of options you'll get there. The salads are great and I eat a lot of lunch salads because it seems to be, it's like the

one meal that I will sacrifice in the name of health generally. I will have, try to have a healthy lunch and I eat a lot of work salads and I eat a lot of salads on the go and they have really good salads at Veggie Grill for what it's worth. In terms of the goal of this podcast, the mission statement of this podcast, I think we are trying to evaluate these chains in terms of what they're attempting to accomplish. So you know, a burger place that maybe has one type of burger that does really well and that's what it's going for. Shake Shack, yeah.

A place like Shake Shack, yeah. We might say like, I feel like Shake Shack even though it hasn't been properly reviewed, it's a place that excels and it should be rewarded for accomplishing what it's setting out to do. I feel that way about Veggie Grill. It's attempting to do something and it does that thing very well which is recreating meat heavy dishes with the absence of meat, with substituting some vegetarian version of that to approximate it and I think it does that very well.

And for that reason, I am going to give it four and a half forks, four forks and two tines. And our scores tally together mean that Veggie Grill is in the Howlett Halls of the Golden Plate Club. So congratulations to Veggie Grill. Oh, that's great. Congratulations to Veggie Grill and to Nathan. Great work, great work.

Oh, I was nervous this whole time too of like, you know, because fast food, you know, and people who love fast food, I didn't want to be like, oh, here comes the vegetarian guy trying to bring in the vegetarian vegan world. I was nervous about this. I don't think I want to be branded as that and people are going to go, if they don't know me, they're like, oh gosh, is that an obnoxious vegan who hates Massachusetts? I think there might be some, I could see some people who are just like, you know, some grumpy meat eater types who just like, are going to be pissed off at this place no matter what.

But I think if you go in with an open mind, even if you're someone who really favors meat and favors. I'm one of those guys. Which is great. Yeah, I think you'll, I think you'll have a good time because I think the food is very high quality. I really liked it. I really liked it.

It was good. All right. That was our review of Veggie Grill. You guys vamp for one second. I'm going to step out of the room and set up our next segment. I'll be right back. It did the ladder, the scoring ladder, four, four and a half and five, so that's great. Hashtag scoring ladder.

Also, I was going to say, people talked about how our munch madness, and Nathan, you and I can vamp for a second. I just want to say, people talked about how our munch madness was more exciting than the NCAA tournament. Really? I don't watch sports, so I don't know if that was boring or not, but I listened to a lot of a tournament of champions, so that was my, that's munch madness, that's what you're saying, right?

Yeah. Is that the, is the munch madness before the tournament? The, the, the, the, was that the same thing? I don't know. The munch, the munch madness was the tournament, but it turned out that the tournament was way more exciting. The final game was insanely exciting, and the munch madness tournament sucks. Yeah, I know you hated the whole tournament.

Every time you're talking about it, you're like, this is a waste of time, but I was very entertained every time I listened. Nathan, I got a question for you. Heading back to Massachusetts anytime soon? I'm going to go this summer, probably in August, so you should go back to, and I hang out in the Cape. I see my parents. My parents are in Milford.

I go see them. And then my brother's in Natick. Okay. I hang out with him and his children, niece and nephew, and then I go to the Cape with my friends and just skate around and hang out. That's awesome. Hopefully there's not an angry mob waiting for you. I know.

I, I feel bad. It's obviously like Massachusetts. I'm from there. My family's all there. But I just, when I think about it, I'm like, I have no reason to ever live there again. I was a grave digger. That's the last thing I did there. And it was like miserable.

I had to break ground with a jackhammer in Natick, Massachusetts, and bury dead people. I remember you kept trying to bury me. Yeah. There was a full summer where you were trying to bury me. People that didn't look like a corpse. By the way, I am looking forward to getting into my grave soon. Hopefully. I was going to ask you before we get going into this weird segment that Weigher looks

like he's cooked up. Who was your favorite wrestler? Ultimate warrior. Definitely. Guarantees. Yeah. He was, he's so awesome. I, I love the ultimate warrior and also I try to bring similar energy to him, to my performances

as my characters. So I do live shows and have like a memorable intensity to what I do. He's a great choice. And I told Weigher this the other day is Stone Cold Steve Austin. And I think that he's one of like the, like in the top 20 of fictional characters of all time. I love Stone Cold Steve Austin. It was really, it was a revelation at the time.

Yeah. Just, just like the, this sort of anti-hero predating all the TV dramas where the anti-hero is a big thing. Here was the guy who was kind of the stand in for the working class man who was going to tell his boss that he's an asshole and to go fuck himself. And he's a pretty progressive guy outside of wrestling and I've heard he's nice. So I like, got a British wife, right? Oh really?

Is she British? I think that's, from what I heard he's got a, his British wife was the origin of the name Stone Cold Steve Austin. He had like some cold tea and then she was like, she was like, dear, your tea's gone Stone Cold. And he was like, that's it. Oh, that's cool. That's where his moniker came from.

I didn't know that. Thanks for making my, one of my heroes sound like a fucking nerd. Also I'm going to hear, I know wrestlers can have some story and now someone's going to tweet at us. I think Stone Cold may have gotten in trouble for some stuff, but hopefully not. I'm sure he's fine. I haven't heard anything about him recently and I usually hear most wrestling news. I think he's doing all, he's all right.

He's a really funny guy too. He had so many funny moments he would do in WWE and there's a lot of memes of Stone Cold and GS. Yeah. Yeah. Well guys, my favorite wrestler is squeaky clean Hulk Hogan. Never been on the wrong side of things. All right.

Let's, it's time for a new segment. I've brought a slice of America's favorite dessert and Mitch and Nathan must crack a series of clues to deduce what it is. The winner gets the pie. The loser goes home empty stomach. This is Pie in the Sky. Oh Jesus. Oh my God.

All right, here's how this is going to work. The two of you will take turns getting increasingly more obvious clues. So they'll start more obscure as to what the pie is and they'll get more obvious. You have two lifelines. One is the smell test, whereas I will lift the foil on this covered piece of pie for everyone listening at home. What I have is a paper plate with a piece of pie on it and it is covered with aluminum foil.

Nathan and Mitch cannot see what it is. So you get, you can get a smell test lifeline. Whoever calls it first gets to do that. And the other lifeline is phone a friend. You can phone a friend just like on who wants to be a millionaire and ask for their help. So here are the clues and I will start with you, Nathan, you get the first clue. I'm real dumb though, Mitch, don't worry. Well they'll start pretty obscure.

They'll get more obvious, but you'll each get a turn to guess after the clue you're getting. So pie in the sky. Pie in the sky. So the winner gets the pie in this guy and the loser goes home. Oh, is that any of it? It's pie in this guy. Yeah, it's not.

It's pie in the sky. Oh, I thought you said sky at first. That's funny. Oh, yeah. It's a little pun. It's a little wordsmith shit. And it's based on who wants to be a millionaire. Yeah, it has its origins and who wants to be a millionaire to some degree, but the clues

are not millionaire-esque. Okay. You'll see, you'll see. Okay. First clue for you, Nathan. When it comes to this pie, there is clowning around. When it comes to this pie, there is clowning around. Something to do with clowns and goofing around, silliness.

I don't know what to make pies. It's like blueberries, Boston cream. Geez, I don't know what it takes you along here. Gonna need a guess. I don't know, this is not a good guess and I know this isn't it, but strawberry rhubarb. Strawberry rhubarb is not correct. I just threw anything out there. Very obscure clue, though.

Mitch, next clue, a little bit less obscure. You don't need utensils to eat this pie. You don't need utensils to eat this pie. I want to use a lifeline. Okay, go ahead and use your lifeline. I want to sniff the pie. All right, you want the smell test. All right, so I'm gonna, this will be a little bit in the honor system.

If you close your eyes, it will get this up close to your snows. I sniffed this earlier and I didn't think there was much I could glean from it, but you are welcome to take a sniff. So go ahead, smell. Try not to look over there. You can describe for us what you're smelling, what you're inhaling there. Well, now Mitch is pretty the more one. I can only really smell the...

I want this pie no matter who wins. I can only really smell the crust. Yeah, there's a lot of crust there. I'm gonna go with a guess. Okay, go ahead. And this is why I'm gonna say this. You do not need utensils. That clue is terrible and it should have been the first clue because it was definitely the harder one.

The circus one makes me believe that this is a banana-type pie. So I'm gonna say that it's a banana cream pie. Banana cream pie is not correct. Shit. Is he saying you as in like a you, like a sheep or a goat or whatever a you is? Why oh you? You. There's not a pun in there.

I don't know if you're accenting you. I thought it was a joke maybe. No, I was just leaning on the you to give a little emphasis to utensils. Okay, okay. All right, next clue for you, Nathan. And I can call someone or sniff it myself? Well, the sniff life, smell test lifeline has been used up. Okay.

I don't know why it smelled like crust. It didn't smell like anything. All right, your clue. New York is the big one. This pie is a little one. New York is the big one. Oh, what are they called? This pie is a little one.

What are those called? Wait, hold on a second. What the fuck? What are those called? I told you the clues get less obscure. Okay, I'm gonna call someone. Okay. I think I know.

Nathan is exiting the room or no, he's moving to another part of the room to grab his phone. Nathan, I don't know how you don't know this right now. Do you know it? I know it, yes. Okay, Mitch thinks he's figured it out. My guess is probably off. And I almost guessed it because of the smell of it. God damn it.

Okay, I'm gonna call Siobhan Price, major fan of the podcast. That's how she picks up. You should tell her that. She knows I'm here right now so she'll probably pick up. Do I just read here the quote, the question? Yeah, I can give it to her if she can hear me. Okay. Oh, God damn it.

Hey. Hey, I'm on Doe Boys. You're live on the air on Doe Boys. Hi Siobhan. No. Yeah, you're live. Hey Siobhan, it's Nick Weiger from Doe Boys. How you doing?

I'm doing good, Nick. How are you? I'm doing fantastic. So Nathan's... And hey, it's Mitch here too. And uh... Mitch is also here. No.

Hey. All right, okay. Hey, I've always liked you. What the hell? You had to have always thought you were great. I love you. You guys are the best. Oh, thank you for saying that.

I just want to say whatever Nick asks of you, answer incorrectly. No, don't. Don't. Okay, so... Answer me right, please. This is a... Siobhan, this is modeled on who wants to be a millionaire, and you are Nathan's phone a friend lifeline.

Um, so I'm going to give you, I'm going to read you the clue that Nathan was given. He is trying to guess what type of pie this is. Okay. And here are the clues that have been received so far. One, when it comes to this pie, there is clowning around. Sorry, let me try that again. When it comes to this pie, there is clowning around. Two, you don't need utensils to eat this pie.

And the third clue, which I just gave Nathan. New York is the big one. This pie is a little one. And Nathan, anything else you want to add to that? So, what my thinking is, what are those little apples called that are on trees in Massachusetts? A lot of the time. Crab? Oh, I was going to say maybe like a crab apple or something, but I don't know.

You're smarter than me, so what do you think? Oh my gosh, I usually like to say that I know everything, but this is such a tricky one. And that's the thing. Siobhan does know everything. Yeah. There are so many things that she would tell me. And I can't believe how much information you have in your head, but you really gotta help me out.

I can't believe no one knows this. I want to say... And Mitch knows it apparently. I know it. God damn it. Is it because Mitch thinks that cupcakes are pie? I want that cupcake. He thinks it's like cupcake he's sniffing.

All right, I'm going to need a guess from you guys if you can figure it out. What do you think? You say something. Okay, clowning. There is clowning. You don't need a utensil and some sort of a little apple maybe. Big apple. Little apple.

You clown. Oh my gosh. Oh. I mean, they're terrible clues. I think they're pretty good clues. I agree. I know everything. And I know that this is a terrible, terrible question.

All right. Oh gosh. I'm so sorry, Nathan. I have no idea. Don't break his heart. Well, should I just say something? Yeah, so someone take a guess. Juicy crab apple cake pie.

Juicy crab apple cake pie. Juicy crab apple cake pie is close but not correct. Thank you, Siobhan, for thank you for joining us. Mitch, the funny one. I thought you had to keep moving so I have a boner. When you listen to this later, I apologize, Siobhan, that you were hung up on some of the public. I felt pressured to keep moving along.

We can repair that with a text message. Final clue goes to you, Mitch. Can I just say it? I think you know what it is. You can guess it right now. Okay. Yeah, give me the shitty clue. No, because this clue will give it away.

So I want to know if you know it and then I'll give you the clue. Here's what I'd say. Guess it now and it will be more impressive if you get it. Huh. Really? Yes. I thought it was just very easy. No, no, no.

Guess it now because the clue that I will give you is so obvious it will tell everyone it is. It's the name of the pie. Oh, now I don't look like a jerk because I just thought it was Apple Pie. It is Apple Pie. Can you get more specific? Oh, can I say what I think now? Go ahead, Nathan.

Crab Apple Pie? It's not Crab Apple Pie. Oh. Renny Smith? I'll read. Small Apple Pie. It's a small Apple Pie. Give me the last fucking clue.

All right, here's the last clue. This pie rhymes with Schick Bonald's Mapple. Schick Bonald's Mapple? That's all made up words. But it rhymes with it, syllabically. Schick. Thick. Thick.

Bonald's, uh... Thick Ronald's Apple Pie? Thick. Thick Bonald's. I really thought I made this one so obvious. Thick, what the fuck is Bonald's? It rhymes with it. Uh, Donald's.

McDonald's Apple Pie! Nathan Barnett, you have one pie in the sky. That's fucking ridiculous. Mike Mitchell, you are going home empty stomach. How you got it? Your record is zero and one in this box. Bonald's doesn't rhyme with McDonald's. Yes, it does.

Schick Bonald's rhymes with McDonald's. Schick, and he was saying thick. Well, I said that wrong. That was just my guess. And you said yes to thick. And he didn't even get to guess. There you go, Nathan. You get this room temperature McDonald's Apple Pie.

You cannot share it with Mitch. He's yours alone. That's fucking bullshit. What if I throw it in the trash and he eats it in the trash? If you throw it in the trash and I watch Mitch pull it out of the trash, he can eat it then. Nathan, I really want a half of that pie. I can carefully put it in the trash for you, Mitch.

You know what, I will pull it out of the fucking trash. Alright. Maybe the ground counts as trash. And there, it's on the ground now. I will allow this. I will allow this in the name of good sportsmanship we're trying to move on. You want it? No, I don't think I'll like Apple Pie.

Yeah, it's probably not vegetarian or something. Well, there might be fat in there or something. How was it? That was sitting in the Feral Audio fridge for a little bit. Oh, it sucks. He wanted it that bad. Well, that was pie in the sky. We may or may not do that again.

It's awful as he continues to keep eating it. I do that with everything. It tastes like a candle, yeah. Oh well. I don't think those things hold up. You get them in their pipe and hot inside and if you get it fresh, it's good. But yeah, if you let it sit for even a little bit, it gets real gummy and chewy. Well, what a dumb fucking McDonald's Apple Pie.

I was thinking of the ingredient, not the title. Me too. I can tweak the clues in a further iteration, but I think that was pretty clever giving the nature of our podcast. I thought it was fun. I liked how we got to it. It was a fun adventure and we figured it out. Stick?

Barnel? Okay, look. Imagine I am a troll underneath a bridge and look at these clues in hindsight and they are well constructed. When it comes to this pie, there is clowning around. There's a clown involved. You can eat it with your hands. You can eat it with your hands.

It's a small apple pie. It really does make sense. Is the two U's supposed to be from the arches? Well, I didn't intend that, but yes. No, it's not that smart. Fuck you. I guess it makes sense when you know it. As the writer, you're like, this is obvious, but as if you didn't, you know.

Okay. It's tough, but it's good. I like it. I'll lower the difficulty level. That was maybe a little bit too intense. We'll take it down a notch if we do it again. It was real fun though. We won't do it again.

Are you referring to this podcast? Hopefully. Oh, wasn't Susser supposed to take over? You're fucking dumbass April Fool's joke. That was an April Fool's joke. I thought we had a very nice sketch of Evan Susser, and I wanted the world to see it. Okay. Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback.

Let's open up a feedback. Today's email comes to us from Sam Marks. I was out to dinner with my girlfriend and her friends, and they were all talking about different kinds of stinky cheeses. I personally am not really a fan of stinky cheeses. I just went to the restaurant and chatted on my threshold for enjoying cheese, and this did not sit well with their group. They went on at length about how I'm missing out on all these great cheeses and mocked

me a bit for not liking, quote, the good stuff, but I know it's just not for me. I wish I could like it, but I don't. This leads to my question. Have you ever wished you could like a food that you don't otherwise enjoy? It would make my food conversation so much easier if I just liked and could talk about stinky cheese. Would love to hear if there's anything like this for you. Thank you, Sam.

What do you guys think? Any food you just can't will yourself to like or would make your life easier if you liked? Any thoughts, Nathan? I don't like cilantro, and there's another thing similar to cilantro. Cilantro is very polarizing. It tastes like pennies or something, like chain jay. Oh, yeah. There's a thing where half of the world can't eat.

It tastes like soap. Yeah. That's motor oil I've heard, too. And there's another vegetable or a little leafy thing that's similar to cilantro. Parsley, perhaps. Arugula. Okay. Parsley, I heard that's good for your breath, so I forced myself to eat that whenever it's

on something. I just eat real quick. But cilantro and the other one, I just said arugula. Those two I hate. They taste horrible and they'll absolutely ruin a sandwich for me. It'd be nice if that didn't happen because it's on so many things. So many things. So maybe I would wish to have that go away from my mouth.

That bad taste. That's a good one. Hmm. Yeah, this is a tough question because I've grown to a lot of foods. Yeah. And I talked about it on here. What are those little green chives? No, no, no.

I like chives. Oh, it's sliced up in their little circles? Yeah. What are the green onions? No. I think it is chives. They put it on locks sometimes. Not sprouts.

Sprouts? Shit. I don't think they're sliced up. They're sliced up, right? No, I don't think they're sliced up. Oh, okay. Cucumbers? No, and they're not chives.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Are you thinking of dill? No, but I don't love dill. Dill is all right. Oh, anyways, I'll just go with the one that I was thinking of off the top of my head. Yeah. Basil. I don't like some basil, especially if it's overpowering.

And people really like basil. I like a nice basil leaf, like one basil leaf on a margarita pizza if I can move it. Or sometimes just eat it. I like it if I can get rid of it. But I'm not a huge, the taste of, I don't love the taste of basil. Yeah. Besides that, I feel like, I like like oysters, but then like, and like, I would see the thing is I'll eat mussels and stuff like that too, but, but, but I guess like maybe like mussels

and some sort of, there's some seafood, like, like, you know, like a, like a seafood paella sort of deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish I liked that more, even though I don't hate it, but there's not a lot of stuff. Maybe it is chives, but I like chive cream cheese. I can't think of like the small green, like almost like little peas. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah.

If you know what- And a mommy? No. No, that's not it. If you know what Mitch is talking about, hit us up. Hashtag little green stumper. Fuck off. It used to be sushi for me, but I've grown to like sushi.

I'm afraid of sushi, and I know it's not vegetarian sushi, but I don't like cold things. I really like sandwiches and things I can eat with my hands, and I don't like certain cold things. I like, I like, I always enjoy a hot sandwich over a cold sandwich. Me too. But yeah, for the most part, there's stuff that I will never- Raw stuff can be weird too. Raw stuff can definitely be weird.

You know what, my answer for this one, I think it's a very good question, Sam. It's a little bit of a thinker, but my answers are twofold. One is something you mentioned earlier, mentioned something we talked about in a previous podcast, which is I don't really like popcorn, and I feel like it would make my life a little easier if I enjoyed popcorn. That's insane. Because that's just such a go-to movie snack, and it's such a go-to ballgame snack, and it's also a lot easier to eat than a lot of the other snacks you'll have there.

You know, you have some M&M's and your fingers get chocolatey, you have some nachos, and you could get globs of cheese all over yourself. So yeah, liking popcorn would maybe make my life a little easier, but I think more generally, I wish I was more psychologically comfortable with the concept of sharing food, which maybe makes me sound insane. But like, if I order a meal, I'm not into like, hey, I'll have half of yours, you'll have half of mine. I like to just have my own meal that I order and keep that all to myself, and I feel like

my life would be easier if anytime someone wanted to trade halves, I'd just be like, yeah, sure, whatever. Oh, you want to split this soup? Yeah, sure, no problem. Sharing soup would be gross. I feel like your lips are all wet and getting all over it. Maybe that's an extreme case, but I mean, like, you know, any sort of sharing, if I was more comfortable with, comfortable is weird, because not like I have a psychological

aversion to it, that like I have some like germ thing, but it's just, I prefer to have my own meal that I ordered, and I feel like that makes things awkward sometimes. I can't share ice cream. I think that's disgusting. Yeah, that's a fair one. And people, couples do it a lot. And even like my girlfriends or whoever, if I'm with that, I kiss. I don't.

I don't have anyone to kiss. Siobhan, we all know, broke up with me. But I didn't, I never like sharing ice cream with girlfriends. I'm like, oh, you can have the end of it, or I'll, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like doing that. We found out that a wiker is a fat hog that doesn't like to share. No, I feel the same way about you.

We've talked about this before, where I will say, hey, if you don't, if you want to get something, get it. I don't mind paying extra for something, but sometimes I have the amount of food in my head that I want to share. This is of course a very fat guy sort of thing to say. But here we go. I have found, what are those called? Oh, those things.

Those are capers. Capers. Capers, yeah. I've never had a caper. Hey, that finished that caper, huh? Anyway, let's wrap up the show. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can e-mail us at dowboyspodcasts at gmail.com, follow us on Twitter at dowboyspod.

Check out our Facebook page, just dowboys. Nathan Barnett, thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me, guys. Thank you so much for sharing your passion for veggie grill. Is there anything you would like to plug? Oh, geez. Oh, I'm going to be in a Snapple commercial coming up. Look for that.

That's about it. Great. If you see me, say hi. Sure, YouTube or something like that. Oh, yeah, my name's just Nathan Barnett. Google me. You might find me falling down somewhere. Tons of amazing videos on his YouTube channel.

Nathan is one of the most watchable performers. Very so funny. Yeah, check it out. Thanks. Likewise, guys. Thank you. Thank you, sir. And a very nice man.

We're ending on a very nice note for once. Yeah, I love Massachusetts. We are. Well, fuck you, Igar. That's more like it. Well, that'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time, for The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating.

See ya. Farrell Audio.