Doughboys - Wahlburgers with Eliza Hooper

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

Eliza Hooper joins the 'boys to talk about The Simpsons and lunch orders before a review of Wahlburgers. Plus, another edition of Last Meal.Sources for this week's intro:https://cheers.fandom.com/wiki/One_For_The_Roadhttps://www.cincinnati.com/story/life/food/2017/08/30/5-things-you-need-know-wahlburgers/615824001/https://wahlburgers.com/our-storyhttps://www.aetv.com/shows/wahlburgershttps://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/01/21/mark-wahlberg-racial-violence-victim-says-actor-shouldnt-be-pardoned/https://www.bostonglobe.com/opinion/2015/01/12/don-pardon-mark-wahlberg/2zCWxyVay7QLD4MDGjGbAN/story.htmlWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig into your data. Really dig in there, anytime, to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow.

Why, restaurant owners, enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on all orders, offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement. Wow, 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click. Or if you're on your phone, use your finger and click that link. Click that link in the episode description. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, Mr. Slice, and I'm here with some exciting news. The Doughboys are going back on the road, baby. That's right. The Doughboys are on tour

in 2022, and you can see us live in Seattle on January 9th, Portland, January 10th, Foxwood's Resort in Connecticut on February 4th, and the big one in Boston, February 5th, and we just added a second show at the Wilbur for that night. You can get all the ticket info at headgum.com slash live. That's headgum.com slash live. Dust your ass off and go and do it, baby. When the series finale of the sitcom Cheers aired in 1993, it was watched by a staggering 42 million households, ending on the highest of notes as it wrapped its 11-season run. But another Boston-based TV show set in the world of food service ran for nearly as long,

10 seasons, though attracting nowhere near the audience or cultural relevance. In 2011, Irish-American musician turned actor brothers Mark and Donnie, along with their chef brother Paul, opened a burger restaurant in Hingham, Massachusetts. In short order, the trio sold a lighthearted unscripted series centered on the family business, which would grow to 49 eateries across the country, buoyed by the promotion their basic cable series provided. While Donnie's fame had peaked in the 80s as part of boy band New Kids on the Block, Mark had successfully transformed from cornball musclehead rapper Marky Mark into the star of Transformers, in addition to credits like Boogie Nights, The Departed, and Ted. Though

his success on the screen showed a spotlight in his egregious past behavior, two separate racist assaults committed as a teenager, for which he served a total of 50 days in jail. When he petitioned for a pardon for the crimes in 2016, the prosecutor wrote in opposition, quote, a formal public pardon would highlight all too clearly that if you are white and a movie star, a different standard applies, end quote. Though given his ongoing success as one of cinema's most bankable stars, his production of entourage as well as his family-friendly burger series, and his eponymous chain restaurant itself, it's sadly no surprise that that standard does in fact apply. This week on Doe Boys, Wall Burgers.

Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, the ghost of Chu Shima, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. The ghost of Chu Shima? Of Chu Shima? That was courtesy of David Mim, his alt Lord Snacki, roastspoonman at demail.com. Shouldn't it be like Chu, like, should be like a food, right? Chu crema? Chu crema. Why not Chu crema? Much better.

Chu creme. That seems weird to Chu creme. Yeah, it's gross. I guess in a way, when you're eating cheese, you're chewing cream. Sure, that's one way to think of it. I'm shocked that that's never caught on as a cool slang to say, hey, I'm just chewing cream over here when you're eating cheese. Mitch, a day after this episode is out, chewing cream will be all over Urban Dictionary. Oh, relax. Go chew some cream, you could say to someone. Go eat some cheese. It makes sense.

I can't this weekend. I'm chewing cream. With you, it takes on a much... It just changes things up in my head where I think that you're talking about something else. The wife's away, so I'm going to chew some cream. Yeah, yeah, okay. Our guest already shaking her head. No, you will introduce you, okay? You're not a part of the show yet. You know what? Maybe I don't want to be. Oh my God!

We've never had this happen. It's just unprecedented. A guest will walk away. Goodbye, Mitch. I can't do this anymore. Hey, we will... You were throwing everything off. I knew this was a mistake. That's right, for too long. Why is that going to say, how to Spoon Nation? And here is a little drop. And it seems such a waste of time. If that's what it's all about. Mama, if that's moving up, then I... Dessert it out.

There you have it, Wigs. I was bopping along to that one. Were you really? Well, you like the Billy Joel song. That's a good song. That's a good drop. Moving out, Anthony song. Wow. My mom, she plays My Life for me. She loves that song My Life. Because it says, now he gives him a stand-up routine in LA. That's a part of the song.

And she thinks of me. Oh, how about that? I mean, not a stand-up, but... Oh, what the fuck? You don't think I could do stand-up? I mean, I think you could. You don't. I've stood up at a mic and talked for fucking hours, bombed. What else do you want me to do? Hey, guys, this song popped into my head as soon as you both mentioned being deserted out. Hope you like it. Also, shout out to my buddies, Joe and Andrew. Joe and Andrew, who talked about your podcast so much a couple years ago,

that I developed Stockholm Syndrome and have listened ever since. Keep up the good work. Oh, man. Wow, kind of telling fuck you to Joe and Andrew. I mean, they deserve it. Introducing him to Doughboys. Don't do that. Don't spread the word on this podcast. Look what you've done. Enough people know about it.

This guy is, like, ignoring his significant other, making a fucking Billy Joel Doughboy strop. Honey, come to bed. Not now. I've almost cracked desserted out. Shut the fucking kids up. I'm sick of their crying. All right. Well, our guest is still here. You know when you get deserted out, Mitch? When's that? When you're chewing too much cream.

All right. I'm back around to liking it again. Why is we have a very special guest today? Long overdue, very, very, very excited to have our guest, a writer and director, and longtime acquaintance of both of us, Eliza Hooper is here. Hi, Eliza. Hello. What's up, Hoops?

Hoops, you and I go way back, Hoops. Unfortunately, yes. Oh, Mitch. Now, when we started up this Zoom conference to talk, the first you saw of me was taking a big bite of pepperoni pizza, basically leaving off where we last saw each other, which is in the, you said it might as well have been the Simpsons PA office

where we were eating slices of Mulberry Street together, or I was, and you were just sitting there waiting. I was watching. Yeah. Every time I see you have a slice of pizza, you never wait, you just eat a slice of pizza. It's kind of his thing. It's our goodbye. That's not with that.

Yeah. I'm chewing cream. What do you want from me? I don't like that. I'm just, I just, I think that one, we can leave that one behind. Fair enough. I'm going to go with it.

And hopefully there'll be t-shirts. By the time this episode ends, there should be a t-shirt available on t-public. Hoops, like I said, started at the Simpsons together. You know what? I got you hired there. What do you think of that? You did not.

Why do you even, you were a PA. PAs don't hire other PAs. Well, the funny thing about it is that your, your, your uncle is, is the very funny, talented Tom Gamble. And you're also very funny and talented yourself. It all runs in the family. Well, thank you. We're, we're not related, but we may as well be.

Right. Oh, you're not? No, he's, he's married in. Or maybe I married into his family. I don't know. You married into his relations. No, he is married to my mom's sister. Okay.

All right. For Tom, Tom Gamble was a writer on Seinfeld and a, a writer on the Simpsons for many years. Hey, he talks like this. Hey, how you doing, Mike? That's how he sounds. That's a very good impression. That's exactly what he sounds like.

A character for you. Hey. And then so he was like, Hey, my, my niece Eliza, she wants to, she's going to try to get a job here as a PA. He came into the office and he said that. And I was like, you were the most powerful. You were like, you wrote for a legendary sitcom and you were coming in and asking the fucking fatty who, who brings you,

who brings you your lunches. You're asking him to help get her hired. I had no power then, but you got hired and it was the best because we had a great time. We had a great time working together. I loved working with you. It was okay. No, we, we did have a good time.

We did. We did have a good time. That was like my first, um, like my first job on my first Hollywood job, like on a, on a lot and on a show. So I guess I learned a lot from you. All right. You don't have to fucking lie to my face. God damn it.

I'm lying. It was miserable. I learned nothing. I had, I had an, I was, I was a writer's PA there and I had a coworker and we did not get along and you came in and, and you took over and, uh, and we hit it off. It was great. It was good.

You said that like the very first minute I met you, that you had, that your previous coworker, you did not like, and I better not be like her and everything I did had to be like different from her. And I was just like, geez, what, what happened? You're making me sound like a fucking monster. First of all. Well, well, well, well.

This is how Mitch talks about me off pod. Well, you do, you need to, both of you need to ship up. Oh my God. Ship up or shape out. Mm hmm. Ship up or, or. Shape up or ship out. Yeah.

Yes. Ship up or, or, or. Uh, and you came in and it was, uh, we had, we had great times. And then I, you, you were, you were, you were great to work with. And then I was, I became an even worse employee and you were, and you were very nice, uh, to me in many ways. So I. I love you.

You are okay. Okay. It sounds like you're about to fire me from this podcast. Oh my God. What the hell? You're a great worker. We had a good time. If we're going to fire anyone from this podcast, it'll be the drop king,

Robert Perseyer. Tick tock, Robert. Do we, what was the, like, how long did you overlap? How long were you, were you working the same job over? We worked together for like two and a half years, maybe two years at least. Oh wow. Good chunk of time.

Two, two years. I guess that, I think it was their two years. So. I don't know. It seems like an eternity. It did, it did seem long. Yeah. I worked there for about three to three and a half years.

Okay. Way too long. And then we also, our, our, our, our, the, we were three amigos, our third amigo was none other than breadcast host himself, Joe's dirty Joe Saunders. Wow. You know, that's enough. What a trio.

The podcast that I haven't been on and I bake a lot of bread. That's fucked up. The breadcast and Joe has got to restart the breadcast. Oh, did it end? That's probably why. He does it as like a limited series. It's, I don't know exactly what he's doing over there. You can tell I never listened to it.

Hoops. We had, we had, my last coworker yelled at me and almost made me cry. And again, this is about me, isn't it? Yes. I mean, you too. And the, the, the, the, my, my coworker saw it and told, and told my boss and then because of that, she kind of got fired.

But, uh, you came in after the fact, not to dish too much dirt, but you came in after the fact. And, uh, and we got along, we, I, I, I did love, I loved working with you. And we hung out and then you, you did UCB stuff. You're very funny writer and director. And, uh, and, and, uh, and we, we hit it off. It was great. Yeah.

Good times. I mean, I think that, that Simpson's job was really hard because I had a very difficult coworker and I had to learn to persevere and now look at me. Look where I am. I felt like crying every single day. Oh my God. You know, I didn't complain. I just, I got up every day.

I went to work. I did the job. And, and you know, now here I am a desk on dough boys. Jesus. Fucking bunch of PAs are moving back home right now. They're leaving Hollywood. Hooper, do you have any specific good food memories? I mean, it was a place where you could eat pretty much anything you wanted to on a

daily basis. The Hollywood, the hall. Yes. People, people, we talked about it a lot in here, but the, in writer's rooms, it's just insane the amount of food you get. So much food. Also, by the way, I am turning red. I've, I've, I was saying this before the podcast started, but I'm turning,

I'm turning red. You don't look particularly red. Yeah. I think it's just rosacea, Mitch. It could be rosacea. When Violet, it's like the strawberry in the strawberry. What? Charlie in the chocolate factory.

When she's, when she's turning violet, that's what, to me, I look like I'm turning red. Violet. Do you feel okay? Yeah. I mean, no, you know, never, not really ever. Yeah. I never really feel great. Are you, do you need a break?

No, I'm fine. Do you want to get a water or something? No. We'll push through. I got a, I got a Coke mini. That should work. Yeah. That's the same thing.

You said that I'm not a big water drinker, which you are right. I'm trying to drink more water. Like I said, I got a half gallon. I got a half gallon water container. Right. Here's the thing about water, Mitch. You need it to live. Yeah, I know.

You need to drink it. This is, it's a great point. I know, I'm drinking, I'm drinking more of it. I'm not just looking at it like you said before the show started. So Hoops, what is, what are some of your, what are some of your all-time food memories working over the Simpsons or just in LA in general? It's funny that you should ask about Simpsons food because the other day

I got a flyer at my apartment in Los Feliz for Chin Chin, which I don't even know. I don't even know where, isn't it? It's on the west side, right? Like I, I think it's in Brentwood. Yeah. It's a Chinese restaurant.

I didn't really read the flyer because I was terrified and I, I just don't, I can't, we had too much Chin Chin. I'm Chin Chin'd out. Yeah. But I just thought, how did they find me? Why I have to go pick up an order. That was one of my less favorite places. I think.

Chin Chin, I think they go to the Chin Chin. I think the Kardashian family goes to Chin Chin in the OJ mini series because it was for a time. It was like, Oh, this is an LA hotspot. Yeah. Yeah. There's a location. I think the location, yes.

Okay. There's, there is one in West Hollywood now, Beverly Hills, Brentwood. So these are all like kind of Tory areas. Oh, maybe there was a new one and that's why they sent me. Well, anyway, let me think of you. I, well, it's, it's crazy that, I mean, we, I've talked about it on here, but like people, I don't think really still even understand like the way that we would basically get a restaurant at the beginning of the day at 10 a.m.

or whatever. And then you would ask 40 people for their lunch orders. And while you were getting it, they would also tell you some stuff that they get from the commissary. They could get whatever they, you know, basically whatever they wanted from a restaurant and then whatever they wanted from the Fox commissary. So you have, you have this giant, just, just a giant legal pad that you draw a line down the middle and you write their name and then you write

what they want from each place. And you're getting like 40, sometimes 50 people's lunches back when it would, back in the day when there was like, you could get, you could get up to as many 50, as many as 50 people's lunches. And you got to go and get that shit. And it's not fair. It's fucking crazy. It is truly, it is not easy to do.

It's insane. It's too much for one person. I might, the first week I was there, I was so overwhelmed having to get, get so many lunches, carry them to my car, carry them into the kitchen, like make sure. Hooper. These are dishes. These are just, these are just mine.

Right. These lunches. Yeah. In fact, before I started, I had to do a test month where I would go get food for you every day, every day and come feed it to you. It was overwhelming, but you know what? I did it. I set it up with Tom Gamble.

All right. That's what it takes. That way of doing. So it's a thing that I've only encountered in the workplace in Hollywood is the idea that you will have a big lunch order that goes in as basically your first order of business every day. And that's whether you're the person picking up the order or taking everyone's order or just a, just a worker there who is putting your lunch order in on the,

on the lot. And it's such a strange like mindset to get yourself into where you're like, you're getting into work and I've had jobs where you get in and it's like 8am because it's like, you know, you're, you're 7am, you're starting early. And the first thing you see is a lunch menu and you're like, what am I going to want to eat? Like, like five hours from now. And you often, you very often don't have a say in where it's being ordered from.

Oh yeah. These are, these are first world problems. These are champagne problems. Cause a lot of times it's like included as part of your compensation that you're getting the, you're getting a free lunch, but it is just a very strange thing to put yourself into. We had people, we had some movers. We moved at the start of the year and the movers showed up at the start of the day

and I was like, I was just like, Oh, I'll do this. I'll get their lunch order now so I can pick it up later. And I was like, Hey, do you guys want lunch from Jersey Mike's? And it was like 8am and they were so confused. It was like, I'd said something that made no sense. And I was like, Oh yeah, this doesn't make any fucking sense at all to take someone's lunch or the crack of dawn. Like people want lunch at lunchtime.

Yeah. This was a big problem because people will come in and just like look at it and be like, I don't want to look at this right now. And then you'd have to be like, please, this takes, this is like a three hour process to do. You don't, you don't understand how long this takes to do. We have to go type them up and fax them and then go and get them. We had to fax them.

Why did we do that? We had fax machines. I don't know. It's insane. Wow. Most restaurants do the places you wouldn't have faxes anymore. I don't know why we did it that way. Why didn't we?

I think it was, I think it was just that it was the same Simpsons office that got set up in 1989. Right. And there was just a fucking fax machine and original concept Homer and Bart were, were drawn on the wall. It was just, it was chaotic. I mean, there's, there's gotta be, I mean, you probably email it now is, is my guess, but even 2007 to 2010, we were faxing.

We were faxing away. Institutional inertia. That's a, you know, you get like a bureaucracy gets set up and then just keeps, that was a whole thing with the, when they were trying to get like the COVID vax, they were trying to get the COVID tests, like an emergency approval for it. And the FDA was like, we need a physical copy of this. You need to like type this up and print this out and email it to us and also send us a CD-ROM with the same info.

And they're like, it's a fucking, we're trying to, and then so they had the labs were like fucking scrambling to put together paper documents just to satisfy this bureaucracy way of doing things. It's so fucking, yeah, you hear about these shows that have gone on for years and years and it's like, oh yeah, they still print everything out and do edits with pencil. Like it's just like, it's, it's that frozen in time. Now hoops. Yeah.

I know it's, it's terrible. I mean, the industry is bad. We all know this. We saw it from the, we saw it from the ground level and it just gets worse. It gets worse as you move up it. And we're not helping now. No. We're going to fire Robert Persinger's ass.

We're, we're continuing the cycle. Why? Cause it's fucked up. It's true. Yeah. It's what happens. Hoops. Right now.

I don't want to freak people out. I don't know. But you're in Twin Peaks. Before we get, before we move on to this. Uh huh. I just see if I can recall your lunch order. Wow. Wow.

I mean. Yes, please. I think I know it. It popped into my head while we were talking about, I was having PTSD. We were talking about getting lunches. Okay. Let's see. Emma, do we have enough storage on the server?

It's going to take a couple hours. This audio. No promises, but I'll see what I can do. One was definitely you. Hold on. Hold on a second. We're going to call, we're going to bring in the Micro Machines guy so that we can speed this up.

Okay. You're talking about writers getting as much food as they want. I would like to point out that you also did that Mitch. Yeah. No shit. Okay. Good. So you always got the veggie plate, right?

With double match. Yes. Yes. Veggie plate, double match. Hooper. Hooper. I'm doing it for you. I'm sure I have an order somewhere.

I'm ashamed of you. Because I'm divulging the truth. What? You think I got a veggie plate? What the fuck? Was it triple ranch? I got, I got. It was triple.

It was triple ranch. No veggie. Triple ranch. No veggies. It was gallon of ranch. No veggies. With a straw. I got a fruit plate with cottage cheese a lot of the time.

You did. You did do that a lot, but you also, I'm telling you, you brought in the veggie plate when you decided that I crossed my heart. You're thinking of this. This is, I mean, also now that I think about it, there is plenty of overweight gentlemen who work at the Simpsons. I'm sure that you could have been thinking. I thought I was wrong first.

And then when I remember double ranch, double ranch, I knew it was you tracks. I'm not the double ranch guy. I'm not. I'm not doing Tony in the cafeteria. Yes. I think you should call Tony in the cafeteria side. Is he going to be on?

He'll be on my side. We're buddies. Mine. Yeah. He probably does like you more, but. Yeah, it does. All right. So that's only one part of it.

Okay. So you, the fruit plate with cottage cheese. Okay. Cheese is me. Yeah. Well, so was the other one. You got more than one thing every single day. So.

So yeah, I know. Hold on a second. Great. So moving on, but I gotta be clear here that if I got more than one thing every day, usually I was going that, if I was going to the restaurant, I always got more than one thing and I would bring stuff home to the

birthday boys. I would bring stuff home and I would feed people. It was great. Oh, what a giver. Oh, I am Rob. I'm like Robin Hood. You can't.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's true. You would always get stuff from the restaurant and from the commissary. Yeah. More like red Robin.

Red Robin hood. I was going to say slob in hood, but red Robin hood is better. Slob in hood. Yeah. Slob in hood. Sounds like a slob in hood. Sounds weird.

You know, you're slob in hood for a little bit and then you end up chewing some cream. Oh God. Oh boy. Oh boy. Hooper. I'll say this.

I know Al's coffee order still. Wow. Wait. I want to get the rest of the mitches. Mitches. You don't know that. This is insane. No.

No. This is, this is, this is insane because you're making me seem like the guy who got the most food there, which you did. No, that's insane.

You ate salmon. You ate salmon. There was a salmon stack, of course. We know the salmon stack. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So, Oh, I know. You got double chicken breast with salsa. I did get, you know what? This is, you're thinking of me, me and my like eating well phase.

I got, That's when you switch to the veggie plate. No, I never got the veggie plate. This is just straight up wrong. You fucked it up. That's not true. Me?

No. No, I definitely not fucking. Also, I forgot that this was our relationship. I forgot. We were in a tiny office at each other's throats all the time. It was just like a writer would come in for something and Mitch and

I would be screaming at each other and then they'd leave. You just hear the screen door show. In the background. Hey, do you mind if I get a frosty month? Get out of here. Homer. Hey,

was Homer here? Move the fuck out of here. All right. Sorry. Just want to find out if Lisa did her homework. Hey, did you see Mao? I'm looking for him.

Marge hit the road. Shut up, Mitch. Bart. Yeah, it's me. Get out of here. Hoops, we had good times there.

It was, it was, I really did, you know, it's as awful as it could be sometimes. It was, it was, it was good.

We did have good times. And, and, and also there's more food, but I, I'll stop there. Christ. No,

we did. It was, it was a fun job. Like it, they were long days, but it was fun. And we had that Simpsons golf cart that we would ride around the,

the lot in. Got stolen once. It got stolen once. Yeah. It was very, but, but you could imagine riding around in the Simpsons golf cart. You felt pretty cool on that lot.

Very powerful. Felt very powerful. Yeah. It's funny because people also didn't like the, like they hated the show. Like, like all the old executives that worked there were like, eh,

like they hated the Simpsons. They hated that it still existed or something. But, uh, I was going to say, I remember Al's coffee order by heart, large, decaf,

non-fat, sugar-free, iced vanilla latte. You're right. You're right. You're right. And once in a while, once in a blue moon,

it would change to hot. Yeah. Uh, if it was like rainy out or something like that. And it would blow my mind. It would completely just throw me off for the whole, the whole rest of the day. Yeah.

Usually it was iced. Yeah. Yep. Yep. The other totally annoying thing we had to do once a year was, uh, the shamrock shakes. Yeah.

And it was, uh, the worst thing in the world, we'd have to drive. And in fact the year that I started, Mitch, I'm pretty sure you told me I had to do it because you had done it for long enough and you weren't going to do it.

You sent me, and it was like right after I started, I'm going to come off like a monster in this episode. It was literally like two weeks after I started. I was like, Oh, okay. I was, I was no house.

Yeah. So, that's, that's how you got hired. They thought, you know, they thought you were a millhouse for a while and they just, they brought you aboard.

Hey, I work here. I had to get in my Honda fit and drive to McDonald's and order, I think like 23 shamrock shakes. Oh man. That I didn't have enough cup holders for. I had them like in my lap on the floor. Oh yeah.

It was, it was a nightmare. It was a nightmare. I think that's a bummer. But yeah. Thanks, Mitch. Thanks Mitch.

Thanks Mitch. Thanks Mitch. Thanks Mitch. Hey, I did that shit too. It was, it was awful. It was terrible.

I'm surprised I didn't do it. And how many of those milkshakes were mine? Huh? All of them. There was no tradition. You made me go get you 23 milkshakes. When you, when you,

when you got back, I was like, yeah, I'll take those to the writers right now. And I just went around the building. All right. Hoops. No more lunch talk because.

I didn't get the most there. In fact, you did. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't get the most there. In fact, you did actually anyways.

Oh my God. It was you. You were the one. In all, in all honesty, you, what the birthday boy started and you, you covered my ass big time.

So. That's right. That's right. I love it for that for, for that memory. I forgot about that. I packed that memory way. I did a lot of work for you,

Mitch. Yeah, you did. Don't you think you, wow me something. It was important work. I had to go up on stage and do a sketch with Koalik. Yeah,

I'm not going to go over for you anytime for that. Hoops, you're up. You're up in twin peaks. I am. I'm in twin peaks. It's a real place in California. It's the mountains.

Wow. And then my friend's cabin. I had to, to creep up here to, to do this podcast. Oh, that's why you didn't want to be, you didn't want to do this at all in LA.

Yeah. It was too, yeah, too, too much for me. I needed to be in a really serene setting where I could I said that you were going to slowly evolve into the log lady of twin peaks. If you stay up there too long,

but I said, I haven't finished the show. So don't ruin it for me. There is no, I, you know what? I haven't finished the second season either. You haven't,

you haven't watched the full first season. I think I did watch the full first season. I'm pretty sure I'm on the second season. How does the first season end? If I have to get mad, tell me, how does it end? He gets,

he gets shot, I believe in the, at the end of the first. Oh, yes. I saw that. Okay. The log. The log.

Good shot. The log. Yeah. Yeah. Hoops. Yeah. We spent too much time apparently in the, the Simpsons break room watching a

John Glazer show. Oh my. Delocated. Yes. Yes. Which I, I just showed that was like one of my quarantine watches, rewatches.

Oh man. It's so good. So funny. And I showed it to my, my fiance and he like watched one or two episodes. He was like, that's good. Wow.

That's, that was his response. Excuse me. Yeah. He did not think it was as funny as I did. And he was like, no, it's really funny. I'm just going to let you watch the rest of it by yourself.

Which sounds like he's, sounds like he knew that it was a thing you and I did. And he knows that he's jealous. Yeah. He's jealous. So we broke up. Oh my God. That's right.

Yeah. We're met. We're meant to be reacted. We need to have a Simpsons wedding someday. I guess we should just accept it. Oh. He was saying those words, even making that joke was so hard for me.

I guess we should just accept it. Hooper. What, have you had any good eats up in, in Twin Peaks? No, I just got here today. I mean, I ate a salad that I brought.

It was okay. From where? From LA? Yeah. It was in my fridge. I took it with me. Oh, okay. What's the drive?

What's that drive? It was an hour and a half. That's it? Oh, wow. That's not bad at all. Twin Peaks is an hour and a half from LA? Yeah. Yeah.

It's really close. It's, it's like before Lake Arrowhead. Wow. So wait. So there's, there's another like Twin Peaks and what in Portland or something or where is it?

Where's the other, where's the, we're not in Minnesota. Wherever that show takes place. Where the fuck is it? Somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, I thought. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Washington. Hmm. Maybe Washington. Here's what we'll do. We'll take a break.

We'll take a break. We'll look up Twin Peaks and we'll be right back with where it's located in the continental US. Is that what it is? The Twin Peaks? Like there's one and then the other. They're twins. That's the biggest mystery about it.

Hmm. That's why it's so spooky. We should probably rewatch this. We'll be back with more dough boys. You know, Mitch, you're about to take a little trip abroad. You're going to Costa Rica. That's right. Why?

So I'm going to Costa Rica with the family. It's going to be a lot of fun. Going to maybe see a monkey. Oh, that's fun. Going to maybe see a bird. Just that. Just a one monkey, one bird. That's it.

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I had a smoothie today. You saw it in studio. Wow. Tropical fruit smoothie. It was delicious. Wow. Hey, want to cut back on takeout? Get factor instead. Not only is factor cheaper than takeout, but meals are ready faster than restaurant delivery in just two minutes. With factor, you can rest assured you're making a sustainable choice. We offset 100% of our delivery admissions to your door, source 100% renewable energy for our production sites and offices,

and feature sustainably sourced seafood in our meals. Head to FactorMeals.com slash Doughboys50 and use code Doughboys50 to get 50% off your first box. That's code Doughboys50 at FactorMeals.com slash Doughboys50 to get 50% off your first box. Do it. Welcome back to Doughboys. We are here with our guest, Eliza Hooper. Hello. And we are discussing this week's chain, wall burgers. But hold on. When we last left you, we were talking about Twin Peaks.

Right. Yeah. Twin Peaks. Where is it located in the contiguous U.S.? Only in David Lynch's imagination. It is a fictional Washington city. Oh, my God. Hey. Then where am I?

Hey, Lynch. Mostly filmed in North Bend, Washington. Hey, Lynch, you're a fucking dead man for making us look like idiots on the air, dude. Lynch, Lynch. Here's a plot twist. My knuckles in your teeth, buddy. Wow. Yeah, take that, Lynch. I don't know what Simpson's character that is.

It's probably one of them. It's probably one of the 600 that there are. Yeah. I'm going to say that's Lewis. There's a Lewis, right? Right. It was Lewis. Yeah, it was Lewis. A wall burgers founded in Hingham, Massachusetts in 2011. Mitch, you know where Hingham is? Not only do I know where it is. That's the one I went to. Wow. You may have gone to the original. It is owned by three of the nine Wahlberg children,

Chef Paul and actors Donnie and Mark, air over 50 locations worldwide, and 10 seasons of the series Wahlbergers about the restaurant aired on A&E. 10 seasons. 10 seasons. Holy shit. Bart, Lisa, get in here. I want to watch Summer Racer head. Let me share a little Wahlbergs.

I'd never seen any of this show and I watched some of it and I mean, I'll just play this clip. Our listeners will hear the audio and you, you both can tell me what you think. But I was, let's just watch it. Hey, Mark, what's up? Paul Wahl. What's up, buddy? I'm stopping by Mom's house today. I need you to come on the plane.

Today? I don't know what my day is going to bring from day to day, but this is just beyond crazy. Trust me, it's going to be worth it. Fine. I'll drive and pick you up. Hey, so when is this flight? It's in two hours.

Actually, don't even worry about it. I got this shortcut. Dude, it's Logan Airport. There's not a whole lot of shortcuts around. Oh, yes, there is. Trust me. There's kind of two ways that. Oh, man. I've been living here almost my entire life. There was no shortcut to Logan Airport ever. Listen, that's that ways. Don't listen to that app.

I don't go on this. So this is like the most eventful. Like Wahlberg's chunk that I could find. Wahlberg's is a show where very little happens. There's very little going on here now. I mean, Mitch, you laughed. Were you laughing at like the Logan Airport jokes? Is that?

No. What? What did you like about that? I was laughing. I was laughing at how clearly awful it that clip was. This is like, this is the time in reality television where like the, just like the straight up so fake kind of narrative fake show existed where it's like nothing about that was real.

No, nothing. Nothing. Nothing we, nothing we saw that we that we watched there is so it's like, yeah, today I got to take the burgers to the airport. Like, and then it's just a whole thing about taking that burgers to the airport and like Mark Wahlberg is act. It's like he's acting there and then his brother. In a normal scenario, Johnny drama would not be involved giving, giving him a ride.

It's just like, well, we got to get Johnny drama in the episode. Let's have him be this. It is basically, we, we know a writer who were, we all know a writer who worked on Duck Dynasty, which was just, you know, it's this, this huge, this was a very popular show in, in. Why do you say the writer's name? Well, I don't know if he wants to be doxxed.

It is very funny who it was. It is very funny. I know who it was. But, but it was like written by like, there were just like, there's just like an LA comedy room who was writing like, okay, here's what these, these hillbillies are going to say, running their duck empire. It was so, it was such a like crafted thing.

They had straight up, they wrote up like straight up like 30 page sitcom scripts and these guys were just saying lines. It was just like a fucking, it was so fucking fake. And that's definitely the vibe you get from watching any Wahlbergers. I think that people will, well, there, there's a good hint if you watch Duck Dynasty and there's a full episode where the Duck Dynasty guys go off on how bad Last Jedi sucks. I think that will give you a little hint.

That should give you a hint as to who it is. The other thing I'll say about Wahlbergers, the clips I watched is Mark Wahlberg's life seems joyless and he seems like he's not, he seems so exhausted in all of the clips. Every time he's on camera, he's, he looks like he has bags under his eyes that he's covering with makeup. Cause, you know, he's a guy who sleeps, he's like sleeps three hours a night. He's like the rock.

He's got one of those insane, you know, early morning wake up and workout routines. And it's just like, that just all hustle thing. That all hustle way of life. It just seems like, oh God, what a slog. What an unfun way to be a millionaire. I told you when I was. Tired and sweaty.

Yeah. It's, I mean, it just, it seems. Awful, but I told you when I was at SNL that the rock, they were like, the rock needs to leave soon because he wakes up at fucking like three 30 in the morning or whatever. It was either three or three 30 or maybe four. But I think it was one of just an, an, an ungodly hour where you should never wake up that early.

And Wahlberg is the same. Look, I think that people are like Wahlberg, like a Boston guy. I told you this before, Weiger, a lot of my friends hate Wahlberg. They don't like him. Obviously he has a fucked up past. He assaulted an Asian man. It was, he committed a hate crime. He committed a hate crime.

I mean, that's like, it was, yeah. And it was egregious what, you know, what transpired, what he, what he was convicted of. Yeah. Wahlberg, the man seems like maybe a bad man, likely a bad man. It does seem like the, his, I think he's a good movie star. Like he is like good in things. But I mean, yeah, a full accounting of who he is obviously includes his past.

What I'll, what I'll say is that his burger chain is, I, that, that becomes like a big part of a part of it. Like me, the calculation for me is like, okay, he has a burger, this burger chain that he's like, blended his name and likeness to and made a show about. But also it's like, I feel like he has, that's the extent of his involvement it feels like, right? I think it's like, you know, him and Donnie are like the faces of it. And then his brother, Chef Paul is the guy who's purportedly actually running it.

It seems inauthentic and calculated. His brother is a for real chef and there is, his brother is a chef. So, but I don't, you know, again, I don't know. Is chef Paul the one who was rubbing his nose a lot in the video? Yes. Okay. And then touching. Yeah.

I assume there was some off-camera hand washing. But all that said, this is more of a sit down concept than I expected. I thought this was going to be like a fast food place, but no, it's like a place you go and like sit down and have burgers and drinks. And I went to the sunset strip location in Hollywood and there were tourists dining in. I was like, this is such a, like at any point to be like, I'm going to go to Hollywood and I want to go to Walburgers seems strange. And then particularly in a pandemic, it's like, this is so, every part of this is so

foreign from how I choose to live, but you know, whatever, I guess that's what you want to do. I guess the association with Hollywood is like, oh, it's Mark Wahlberg's restaurant. So while I'm in Hollywood, I'll go to it. But it just seemed like a bizarre vacation destination. Insane to me. I mean, like that is just that I don't even understand that people in LA would be going to it.

I mean, I had tried this back in the day and it left. I like didn't leave any lasting impression on me. But what I thought about it, I'll tell you in a bit because, because I was surprised. I'll just say that I was surprised at what I thought. You were surprised. I'm surprised that you were surprised. I was, I was surprised by it. I'll say this and you may be surprised by this, Eliza.

I also was surprised. Oh, okay. I'll say, so I was, I, my mom and I, we drove there together. Um, my, my Quincy mom, Eliza, not, not my LA mom, which, uh, wouldn't we work at the Simpsons? That's you. Yes. Um,

I'm your LA mom and wife. It's, Well, she, yes, this is my Quincy mom and wife. Um, We, so we, we were, we, we drove over there, uh, together on the way wigs, a drunk driver was on the road, like for real. We were waiting at a stop sign. Someone barreled around us and went through a red light and then we were behind them

and they were like moving in and out of the lines. They were just clearly working. Wow. We're, we're intoxicated. Was it? It was, it was Wahlberg on his way. He wanted to make sure Wahlbergers was too. Also a funny thing.

My mom thought Mark Wahlberg's name was Mark Wahlberger. She didn't know. She didn't understand. Really? Yeah. She didn't know that it was Mark. Like it was Mark. She was like, she was like.

She said, is Mark Wahlberger coming on the podcast? I was like, no, my, a lot of people don't like Mark Wahlberg. He's not coming on the podcast. Um, but, um, we were driving over there. Uh, we, my mom got his license plate and then she was going to, she was, she was going to alert authorities because he was driving very recklessly. Wow. Um, anyways,

I'm kind of bummed your mom now knows that it's, it's Mark Wahlberg, not Wahlberger. It was kind of fun that she thought that. I can just trick her again. If you want me to. Hey, my, I was wrong. It is Wahlberger. She'd be like, okay. She wouldn't care.

Um, so there's another place in Hingham that, that, that, uh, Paul Wahlberg owns. That's, that's called Almanove. It, Alma. N O V E. How do you say that? No way. Almanove. N O V A.

N O V E. Oh, I don't know. Almanove. Almanove. Anyways, that's, it's named after his mother who just recently passed away. Within the last week or two. Um, and that is like a fancy upscale restaurant that people do like. Like people enjoy it around here.

He's the head chef of that restaurant. Um, and rest in peace to his mom. And we, we drove over to Wahlburgers and my first impression is man, they really run a tight ship in there. When I was telling you guys to, to, uh, ship up or shape out, uh, this place, are you both, you both, you could, could use some time over at Wahlburgers because everyone there, it would just, I went in there and it was like so completely organized, so clean.

The app works really well, Nick. I ordered, I ordered a ton of stuff, like a ton of things. And I ordered it and we were eight minutes away from the restaurant. And I was like, we're going to have to wait like 15 to 20 minutes when we get there. We get there. It's already, I, I, I'm like, I'm waiting for, I gotta get a pickup order and the guy directs me the right area.

And they're like, it's over. And then they're like, it's, they're like, what's your name? I'm a Mitchell. And they're like, it's right over there. It's in the box. It's already everything is there. The drinks are there. It's like all organized perfectly.

And it, and I was, I honestly, I was blown away. It looked great. Wow. It was packaged. I was like, can I get ketchup? And they're like, there's some in the bag. There was everything was in the bag that you needed. And they didn't mess with it.

I was like, shocked. I was shocked in eight minutes. It was eight minutes. Like maybe 10 minutes total. But do they have a sex machine? My, my app didn't work. The app wouldn't let me make a, an LA, the app wouldn't make me make a, make an order.

I had to go in person and, and, and, and give my order. That said, the, the, the gentleman who had a sex machine, I had to go in person and, and, and, and give my order. That said, the, the, the gentleman who helped me out there, the, again, you know, everyone was dining out or was dining in. He could tell I was going for it to go order. And he was very helpful. His name was Steven at the Sunset Boulevard.

A location of, of wall burgers. What man was a king. Extremely helpful. And as I was going through my order, he was like, he was like, hey man, you did it right. Like he was like giving me compliments on what I ordered, which made me feel pretty great. Maybe he says that to everyone, but you know what?

Even if it's just showmanship, I liked it. It's Hollywood baby. He fucking definitely says this to everybody. I ordered mine on Postmates, which may have been the source of some of my issues. I, yeah, I, I, you know, there were some good items in there and there were some. Well, okay.

First of all, when I got my bag, I got, so I got tater tots. I got the sweet potato, this tots and then French fries. And both of those items came in their little buckets with a tissue draped over them. And that was it. So there were like tots rolling around in the bag when I got it. There were like a lot of loose tots. That's one thing like there, I guess it was to keep them from getting too soft. They did get a little soft anyway.

You know, only so much Eliza. What? You're talking about a nursery school nightmare. Loose. Yes. I have to say, if there's a loose in my bag, I probably not going to be happy. I get that. I don't, you don't want loose tots.

You don't want to go around. Loose fries. You know, I think that my Postmates did their, did their best to keep it all together. But if there's no lid, if the lid is a greasy tissue, then I think you're going to have a problem. And I did. Wow. If the lid is a greasy tissue, then I'm going to have an issue.

Wow. There you go. Is that, was that, were you trying to do a, you might be a redneck? Was that, was that what that was? Yeah. It was a little fox-worthy. If your lid is a greasy tissue, you might have an issue. And the crowd goes wild.

Oh man. A greasy tissue. Yeah. Yeah. That's a bummer. I just ran by the Weigher household. All right. I think if I had gone in, I, I, okay.

So the tots tasted good and the fries were also good. I enjoyed the fries. Um, they were a little cold because of the Postmates thing and because they were rolling around in the bag, but I think they would have been good had I ordered them in the restaurant. I just wasn't comfortable doing that. I took a chance. So we demanded that you go into the restaurant. I told you.

You did. Yeah. You told me. Um, I, I would have ordered, yeah, I would have ordered on the app if it let me, uh, and, uh, and pick it up, but it, it did not. I, I will say, I'm surprised to learn this because did you know which location, which wall burgers it was, your food was brought from? It was the West Hollywood one.

Okay. So it was the same location I went to. I'll hold up my tots box. I got, cause I also got tots. I got a box and you can see it's, that's not a, that's not a tissue. What? That's an actual, uh, I'm holding up my screen here. It's a green box.

That's like a, it's like a little pizza box. Like the breadsticks would come in. Oh my God. Oh my God. I was eating tots. I don't know. I just ate within the bottom of the bag. Hooper.

You know what? You just had me flash back to my Simpsons ordering days and I now remember anytime that you ordered fries or tots, you say, can I get a loose napkin over my tots or fries? So I think that this is you. You're just doing it still. Oh my God. Well, you know what? I only ordered one or the other.

I didn't order 10 boxes of everything that's on the menu, Mitch. Okay. So double ranch, no triple ranch. I'm not, I'm not the double rancher. Whoever the double ranch is, it is not me. You were the double rancher. I'm not the double rancher cause I never got the, I never got the vegetable plate. And if I did, I would get the ranch without it, without the vegetables, but I did.

I did. I liked the Simpsons days. I did order a lot of food. And again, it was me going to pick it up. So this is okay. I got myself the tots flight. Wigs, the tots flight. Tots flight.

Tots flight. Tots flight. Tots flight. Another fucking, another nursery school nightmare. I should have stopped it. Should I have stopped at the first one, Hooper? Is that what you're saying? No, it was good.

So the tots flight, it comes with three different tots that I'm just trying to get. To on the menu here. It's, it's, it's a little confusing, but it comes with three different tots and the tots flight. It comes with barbecue chicken tots, crispy tots drizzled in barbecue sauce, topped with barbecue chicken and like roasted corn and shit. And then a spicy cheese and bacon tots. That's the other one.

And then finally Parmesan truffle tots of all of those. I liked the spicy cheese and bacon tots. And then the Parmesan truffle tots were okay. They had like a, the actual truffle sauce was a little just like mayonnaise. My mom thought it was tartar sauce at first, but it was not. But the tastes were okay, but they just didn't travel. Great. And the, and I didn't like the barbecue chicken tots basically at all.

But it was fun. And if you got them in restaurant, I feel like they would have stayed crispier. You know, there's no, there's no loose tot situation going on. These Hooper, these, these were not in a box. These were in three jars. What are they doing over there? There's over the top. No.

I had covers on mine though. What kind of cover? Like a red cover? There was, there were lids on them. Oh. Jars? They were in jars? Like mason jars?

No, like little bowls, like a little, like a little bowl, like a bowl. Like a to-go can, like a little to-go, like a soup container. Okay. Got it. Yeah. That's what mine was in, but no lid. Maybe they were just out of, I don't know. I don't know.

It sounds like they, it sounds like they were out of lids. Well, I also got a spinach and Parmesan wall bites, which is the, which is basically, I think why it's like their vegetarian version. I don't know if you, if you had them there, but they're, they're basically, they're basically like, they, they have Buffalo chicken wall bites and these are the, you know, the vegetarian version, I guess. But the spinach and Parmesan, and that has a honey garlic sauce. These were okay.

They were interesting. They were like very unlike a fast food place. And they were fun to try, but I probably wouldn't get them again. And then do you want me to get into my mains? Should I keep going? Let's, let's talk apps while you're, while you're an app country. Cause I will say there's definitely some regional variants that, that second item did not appear to be available in the LA location.

So about tots, I got a half and a half tater tots and sweet potato tots. Like you mentioned, Mitch, any sort of deep fried product isn't going to travel all that well. This did okay. I mean, but it was still just kind of, you know, that they had the layer of condensation on the underside of the lid. It was a little bit damp and, and just not that crisp country texture that you ideally want from something fresh fried.

That said, there were quality tots. I thought they were good. I thought they were, I liked the mix of both of them. I liked the sweet potato tots, which I have encountered less frequently than I would like because I think sweet potato tots generally work. As far as dipping sauces go, they have the wall sauce and I said, what's the wall sauce? And Steven was like, it's just ketchup and sriracha. But it's a, it's a good, you know, it's, it's a decent sauce.

I mean, that's a good combo. That's a, that's a new classic combo that is a staple for a reason. And they also have a good ranch there. So I mean, I was dipping the sweet potato tots in the ranch. I was dipping the regular tots in the wall sauce. I was in hog heaven. I thought this was, I thought these were good tots. Hooper made a face with the ranch because of the fucking vegetable plate, which is not

my plate. I'm just wondering how many you got, Mitch. How many did you order? Anyway, so I got some double ranches with my veggie plate. There's no veggie plate at, at Walburgers. The closest thing to it is what I got, which is the thin, crispy onion rings. And let me tell you, my mom and I, these came in a box, why it's like the box you showed earlier.

My mom and I loved these bad boys. These reminded me of like those thin, almost hair-like, they're so thin that they're just like very, like they're, they're, they're, they're very light and loose onion rings. And uh, and, and they were, they were really good. They reminded me of like, like sometimes when I got a fish and chip, but chips back in the day and, and uh, in the New England area here, you would get, you would get these similar onion rings and we fucking were loving them. We were taking them down and they, and they traveled better than, uh, than the tots and

spoiler alert, I got fries too, but they traveled better than, than both of those and they were really good. And even when they kind of cooled down, they were still tasting good. We were, we were, we were a huge, huge thumbs up to the thing, crispy onion rings. I, the other side I got, the other app I got was their Mac salad, their macaroni salad. Again, I said, I was, give me the Mac salad. And Stephen was like, you're doing it right, man. Like just, just emphatic about all my choices.

That's, he's so lying to you. Yeah. Well, it worked and I loved it. Oh, you did. Okay. Yeah. Tell me about it because I got the macaroni and cheese and I have some thoughts. So the Mac salad, I think was fine.

I mean, I, I do, I do like that it wasn't too, you can find the recipe online and it, it doesn't seem to have added sugar. It doesn't, didn't taste like it had it added sugar. It's a little bit more vinegary, um, in, in flavor, although I don't see vinegar on the ingredient list. Um, but it's, it's, it was, it was more of the, it's more of the, like, kind of that sour sort of creamy as opposed to that kind of, you know, that sort of sweet creamy you'll get with some Mac salads.

I thought it was nice. I don't know if I'd go out of my way to get it again. I feel like if you're going to have an accompaniment with a burger, I'd rather get the fries, but it definitely did, definitely traveled better, uh, than the, the tots as, as one would expect. And yeah, I thought it was, it was like decent deli case macaroni salad, but Eliza, you got some tots, uh, you talked about your tots debacle and then also you got the macaroni and cheese.

And, uh, I got the fries, tots, um, both of which were fine. I think I liked the fries better. The tots were a little soft. Um, I mean, they were good. I think, I, you know, I just, I had to pull them out of a bag, you guys. I don't know if I can get over that, uh, the, um, the macaroni and cheese, I love macaroni and cheese and I, I love bad macaroni and cheese too. Like I love all kinds and bad mac and cheese is like usually still very good.

Right. I did not like this mac and cheese. I, I, the, in fact, I took a couple of bites and I, I couldn't eat it. I don't, I mean, I don't like my either, but the, the pasta reminded me of, um, like cafeteria pasta. Like it, it, it was like, felt like it tasted like, I don't know. It was, it was thick, but kind of flavorless, uh, very, it just felt heavy and flavorless. And then the cheese, no flavor either.

Like, like it felt full of sodium, but not really salty in a flavorful way. Uh, I just found it very bland and disappointing. That's a bummer. Yeah. Wow. A tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot, tot. And then a mac and cheese nightmare on top of this. This is, uh, this is, this is really opposite of my experience.

I was, I was, I, I wish I, so you sent me your order, Mitch, and I got really excited by the tots trio or taught, taught tumblr or whatever it was. And I, I was like, okay, I think I'm really going to like this. This is, this is, this is going to be a good one. That wasn't, that was not an option. The tots were just flying around in the bag. They were everywhere and anywhere. I had to collect them like, you know, that, that's a bad way to start a meal.

If you have to go collect your food off the bottom. 100%. Okay. Yes. I agree with this, but I'm also questioning your delivery method of what happened here and I, they left the bag on the front porch. I picked it up and I went, I shook it as hard as I could, went inside, took my fork

out, opened it up. It was a mess. Um, yeah. But the mac and cheese, I think was objectively bad. That's a bummer. I think even if I'd had that there, it was, it was a flavor issue. This is the flavor issue. Yeah.

When mac and cheese isn't worth the calories, that's just such a bummer because it's such an indulgence. It might as well taste good. Over at Doe Boys, I've had a lot of bad mac and cheese over the course of Doe Boys. It's surprising how much. Oh, for sure. How much bad mac and cheese? Like, uh, I guess it's harder than you think.

I guess. You wouldn't think it'd be, it'd be so, there'd be such, such a precision required to execute a good one. I guess maybe it just can't sit around for too long or something. I don't know what the deal is, but I don't know. I think a lot of places like either skimp on the cheese because that's the most expensive component or they just like, you know, or they're just using like a lower quality cheese or something that's like maybe a little too, like doesn't have it, doesn't have any sharpness

to it. So you kind of just get that, get a, I think if you have too mild of a cheese, it can be just kind of like a, a flavorless bush. Yeah. I, to me, it felt like, like low quality ingredients across the board. Whereas the, the tater tots and the fries did not strike me that way. But the, the mac and cheese just like, it felt like maybe like, like an afterthought on the menu.

Like we should have this on. Right. Well. A lot of thought into it. The mac and cheese, I instead went with the house made chili, fresh ground beef, red beans, chipotle peppers in our host blend of spices, topped with shredded cheddar, wall sauce and crispy tortillas. And my mom and I both agreed they knocked it out of the park with the fucking chili.

It was good. Wow. It was fantastic. Oops. Wow. I'm not, I'm not rooting for fucking, I'm not rooting for wall burgers. I mean, maybe, maybe it was the location you were in. Maybe they were, the wall burgers themselves were making it.

And that's why like they know how to make it. And then the LA location like didn't write all the ingredients down and, and it's just not, I don't know. This is, this is, this is like the Hingham shipyard or whatever. The place where I went to, I saw the, I saw the last movie with my dad there. I saw the new Muppet movie, kind of sucked the, the one with Jason Segal's whistling puppet or whatever. And we went, we went to wall burgers after that, I remember.

This is when wall burgers was, was like basically brand new. But man, I remember Al Jean's coffee order and I can't remember the date my dad died. Oh, Mitch. Wow. No. Oh, dear God. Anyways, sorry. I just want to let, I just want to let listeners sit in that for a minute.

Yeah. Anyways, I got the chili. We both agree that it was really good. My mom and I, and then we also got the french fries. This covers everything up into my sandwiches and the french fries were good. But again, the travel factor, why this came in like a, like a carton that a burger would come in all the fries were in there. And it was, they were, they were tasty, but they just weren't, it was, you know, it was

like a, you know, 15 minute drive away, you know, dodging a fucking drunk driver that was all over the road. So it was, after having like a crazy taxi drive home and it was still 15 minutes, they weren't, they weren't as good as they would have been in the restaurant. But now moving on to the sandwiches, should I, should I get it, please. So this is, this gets into the territory of like why Dan-O like hates wall burgers and hates the wall burgers. Cause like, I got the OFD, which is originally from Dorchester and they spell it like T-A-Y-T-A-H

Dorchester. And like, I think a lot of Boston people just like hate this shit. Right. Leading into the gimmick. Leading into the gimmick was just like originally from Dorchester, but this sandwich was from my mom, the OFD. And it's a two beef burger, two beef burgers, Swiss cheese, bacon, sauteed mushrooms and house-made tomato jam.

This had a really nice taste to it. It was good. I think the thing with the wall burger burgers is that I thought all these burgers were good. I'm just going to say it right now, but they're not like my favorite burgers, but they were well done. They were, they were definitely, they were definitely, they made it, they did a good job. They taste like it's not something that I'm going to like crave and be like, this is the

best burger I've ever had, but it was still prepared well and it tasted good. So that's kind of how I felt about all of them. There's a, the double decker, which I got, there's also a triple decker and it's like, like the one we grew up in in Southie, like that's what they write on the website. And that's the sort of bullshit that like just makes Daniel mad. That's the stuff that's exhausting. That's going to make Daniel upset. But the double decker is their burger times two, two stacked beef burger patties, government

cheese. They hate, see, they hate that shit too. Lettuce, tomato, onion and pickles and wall sauce. You don't got to say government cheese anymore. You're fucking billionaires. Shut up. Anyways. Right.

The double decker I liked, that was, that was, that was really, really tasty. But it was maybe eclipsed by the super melt wigs, the last burger we got. The super melt. We got three burgers. The super melt was the last one, two beef burger patties served with thick cut bread and grilled with American cheese, bacon, caramelized onions, house made pickles and mustard sauce. It was fucking really good. I really, really liked it.

It was good as hell. I, and that one was the one that I was like, this is, this is damn good. And honestly, the double decker was, was, was really decent too. But man, hoops, I'm shocked. I didn't want to like it. I didn't. Okay. I did not have the same experience.

Wow. We also got a crispy chicken ranch sandwich, which is Paul's own crispy fried chicken recipe served with fresh tomato, shredded lettuce, pickles and ranch dressing. And that was like a fine, decent sandwich. It wasn't, there was nothing like that memorable about it, but it was, it was, it was well made and it tasted fine. So that, that covers all of, all of the, the dinner portion, but I got some dessert too. Did you get some dessert wigs?

Of course I did. But before I get to that, let me talk about my burger. For my main, I went with their one vegetarian option, other than the, that outside of the kids menu where they have a grilled cheese, the impossible burger, they do have an impossible burger there. And I was happy to see that. And I'll read the ingredients here. So this is a vegetarian, a plant-based patty, smoked cheddar, lettuce, caramelized onion,

homemade chili, house-made chili, spice tomatoes, excuse me, and Paul's signature, wall sauce. What I liked is that this is like, it's in, it's in, it's a vegetarian option that's indulgent. And also like there's some thought into the components to make it work well with the impossible patty, which I similarly experienced with Island's version of their impossible burger. You can get an impossible patty on any burger there, but they have just like a straight up, this is the impossible burger. This is our signature impossible burger. That one's like avocado and white cheddar and a garlic aioli.

It's like got some different components that like, like, you know, work with the character and the flavor of, of, of the impossible burger and the impossible patty itself. And yeah, the similar, similarly seemed reverse engineered to try to like, to like work with that and not make it, and, and not just like, like, you know, cover it up or not just be like, oh, we're just going to replace the beef patty with a plant-based patty and call it a day, which works for the impossible whopper. But this approach is also, I think, welcome, especially at a place that's more of a sit down concept.

It was a good impossible burger. Like it was very solid. I was like, this is like, this is what I want and this, this scratches a burger itch. And also it feels like it has some real thought into it and the smoked cheddar was really nice. The caramelized onions were really nice. I thought this was a quality burger. It was like, well made and, and well constructed and it looked like it, when I got it home, I was like, oh, this looks like how it probably is supposed to look.

It wasn't like all, you know, sloshed around or loose in the bag, if you will. It was like, it was like well constructed. But Eliza, what did you do for your burger or main option? So I, I actually got two burgers. I got the, the, the, whatever, the, what's the, their, our burger, the, the, our burger. Yes. Yep. Yeah.

That's a, that's the single of the, I got the double decker, but then you got the single version. So I got the single and, and it, it was good. I, I noticed a, a kind of briny taste on it that must have been the pickles, I'm guessing. It was very briny. It, it reminded me of like, like oyster brine and it kind of put me off a little. I didn't know. I mean, for a second, I thought, is this like a gimmick and it's supposed to taste like,

like the water in Massachusetts or something. I don't, I don't, I thought maybe it was like a fucking thing like drink, fucking ocean water. Yeah. It's like the ocean water. We used to drink back in Dorchester. Yeah. Oh yeah.

I said, I said, Southie and earlier there, Dorchester. I fucked that up bad. Sorry. I, I thought, I don't know. I thought maybe it was Boston flavoring. But that was a little, I guess I, yeah, that kind of put me off. The burger was fine. The brine taste wasn't great.

The bun I liked, I liked more than I thought I would because mine was a little bit smushed and moist when I got it, but actually it tasted okay. I also got the, the Thanksgiving dinner burger and I was surprised that I liked that one as much as I did. The turkey meat was much more flavorful and juicy than I expected. A lot of times turkey burgers are pretty dry. The patties themselves are usually the problem. I thought the patty was good in this.

And I thought it was another, another Algin favorite turkey burger. That's right. And you would get turkey burgers once in a while too when you were on a diet. You know what? You are right. That is, that is when I would get them with my chicken, my chicken and salsa or turkey burger. That's right.

Double salsa. I was fucking sick that our brains are broken. Yeah. I, every time I get a turkey burger, it feels like a lie I'm telling myself that I'm doing so that I'm like, I'm getting this tray. This is a, this is something I'm doing to be healthy. I'm being, I'm having the healthy option now is like, well, I'm eating a fucking burger. Like that's inherently unhealthy.

I should just get what I want. Shut up. Yeah. I was trying to avoid too much red meat. I totally get that. And also the impossible burger on, on the Postmates app said that it was four pounds. Is that true? Four pounds.

I might was a quarter pound. Maybe they left off a one and a slash or maybe it's a Postmates exclusive. It said four pound. Four pounds. And then it was. Two pound patty. It said four pound patty for 17.95 and I was like, that's a lot for a burger. So I guess it is four pounds.

It, I mean, that seemed crazy to me and I was too scared to get it because what if I could even lift it? Right. What if I had to eat it off of the bottom of the bag just like I could never look at myself again. So I didn't get that because it just, it just sounded too big. Four pound patty. Yeah.

Did you see anything? Did you see anyone like chomping into a four pound burger? Nick? No, it sounds like a no. I didn't. Like a legend in a delivery room. Four pound patty. That's a tiny, that would be a tiny, a tiny baby.

It would be a very small baby, small baby. I guess I'm going to have to order that next time to see, and then I'm going to have to weigh it. So yeah, I mean, I thought the burgers were okay. I, I, I could tell just by looking at them that this was slow fast food, that that's what they were trying to do. I may be a little biased because I am marrying into a burger dynasty. Wow.

You're marrying the Burger King? The Burger Kings of Arkansas. Wow. Wow. So tell me more. They do slow fast food and I kept thinking like, oh, well, this isn't as good as a Feltner Brothers burger. What is it called?

Feltner Brothers. Feltner Brothers. Yeah. They're in Fayetteville. They had two locations. Actually, they, they have one now because one closed during COVID. So now they're, there's just one and then there's also, their grandfather had Feltner's what, what a burger in Russellville, which like everyone in Arkansas knows about and

everyone loves. So. Hooper, I might be coming to your wedding and objecting when they ask, but, but then, but then professing my love for the groom. I want to marry this guy. Get in on this burger dynasty. I gotta say, I'm looking at the Feltner Brothers website right now and I think I'm, I think I'm team Feltner over, Feltner Brother over Team Walberg Brother because these, these burgers

look divine. They're, they're very good. They are very good. And so I was expecting something of that level. I thought, brothers, burgers, okay, I know what this should taste like. No. Right. There's no brine on the, the Feltner Brothers burgers.

Oh, damn. Yeah. I brought up a full screen picture of this. It's a big burger. Hoops Congrats. Damn. They are really good. Yeah.

And the groom, is your groom to be on the cup? No, those are his brothers. Two of them are twins and one of them is not a twin and then he's, he's not part of the burger. He's not part of the burger chain. He's, he's in, in film out here. He left Arkansas. So he's, he's here.

The rest are, are making, making burgers, making damn fine burgers. I mean, you can tell us, did he get, did he get kicked out of the burger family? Yeah. He had to go to Hollywood. He didn't flip a patty. He didn't flip a patty. Yeah. Wow.

Damn. Hoops. That, that, that fucking, are we going to, are we going to eat, are we going to eat this place? I got to go. This rules. Yeah. That's awesome.

Oh, we'll go. We'll go. But they won't, they will not honor a double ranch request. I've refused to go then. So I got two desserts. I got a housemaid shake. I got a chocolate shake. Now I wanted to do the, there was like a black and white shake and my mom didn't, my mom

just likes chocolate shakes. It was good. It was a little, it was like a, my mom thought it was a little too like chocolate milky. It was like, and it was a little thin, but also that could have been travel. I thought it tasted pretty good. And then we got the creamsicle wigs, which I saw because you got it. The creamsicle is a scoop of vanilla ice cream. They got a whole system with their spoon into the vanilla ice cream and it's set up great.

And then an orange, is it an orange crush in the, in the glass bottle? Yes. It's a glass bottle orange crush. And then whatever they say their housemaid vanilla ice cream, which is very good. It's a, I mean, it's a good vanilla and you know, I'm a vanilla fan, vanilla is a flavor. This was a delight. I, I sipped on this mostly on the drive home and it was a little cumbersome to eat to have, you know, you couldn't quite sip it through a straw.

Obviously had to do kind of a straw shake, straw, a spoon hybrid rather to get the most of it. But it was good. I was like, this is. I thought it was great. I mean, it's, it's very, it's very simple and a lot of the work is being done by the glass bottle orange crush, which is not something they're making, but I'm glad that it's on the menu and it's a, it's a, as an alternative to, to shakes, I'm glad it's, it's a, it was

a delight. Yeah. We, we, we really loved it. It was, it was fantastic. Also, I, I should say that we drank some of the chocolate shake on the way home and it was better than we put it in the fridge. And then after we ate, we drank it again and that's, it was a little thinner than of course, which makes sense.

But yeah, on the, on the way home, it, it was, I thought it was better than it was tasty, but that, I think the orange creamsicle is, that was, that was the winner. I really, I really liked it. And that, you're right, Wags. That vanilla was fantastic. Yeah. It was good. It was, that was my sip of the trip.

I think that was my favorite thing I had was that creamsicle float. Did you, Mitch, we can't have you talking so much Simpsons and talking chocolate shake without revealing whether or not it was frosty. Nick, it was a frosty chocolate milkshake. Wow. Hey, we don't serve those at Mo's, Homer. Well, Mo, sometimes I have to spend time with the family. I'm a family man after all.

Hey, hey, Homer. Yeah. This episode is like about Bart taking a test. That's like a whole episode. That's right, Mo. And then we go to church. And this is a half hour of television. Yes.

And people freaked out over this. All right. Well, I guess I get, I see why this show's so controversial. Well, have a good day, Mo, my friend. All right. Get home safe to your house, Homer. Your house that you own free and clear. I feel like I'm back at a table read.

So did you get anything on the sweet side, Eliza? I did not because I was post-mating it and I just. Makes sense. I just thought that's, I thought that won't travel. Little did I need. For sure. Yeah, so I did not. Hoops, you remember when the Kyoto brothers had the, they made puppets for the Simpsons

and you and I did like a whole show of the puppets for Joe Saunders? Do you remember this at all? No, I don't. I'll send you, I'll send you a video of it after the, after the record. Now I do remember. I, I remember we made a video. Oh yeah. Oh, you did a private puppet show for Joe Saunders.

We did do a private puppet show. We did. We did. Wow. And he started crying. That's a normal Joe Saunders reaction anyways. What we should get to our final thoughts on wall burgers. So Eliza, here's how this will work.

We'll each go around and give a closing argument, if you will, summing up our thoughts on this chain and end that by giving it a rating from zero to five forks. We begin with our guests and that's you. Go ahead, Eliza. My final thoughts. So I think that there were some high points, some low points. I think, I think that I would have had a slightly different experience had I gone into pick it up.

I, I, I liked the sides, did not like the mac and cheese that, that really took me out of it. I think I probably would have enjoyed the burgers better had I been there. I see a lot of promise, but to be honest, it was a mediocre experience. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I would order from them again anytime soon.

Wow. I just, there's so many other burger places that I just know I like more. Yeah. I 100% get that and I will agree with you on that point. And what is your fork score? How many is it out of? Out of five forks. Five forks.

You can do halves too, hoops. You can do, yeah, you can do halves. I'm going to do two and a half forks. Wow. Two and a half forks, two forks, two times. By the way, we should mention the, our friend Matt Selman, your former coworker at the Simpsons invented the tine system and we dubbed him the tine father and then someone on the dose score at our discord server punched it up.

Father tine, Matt Selman is father tine. How about that? Father tine. Very good. It is very, very good, Hooper's right. It's very good. I maybe have been having a heart attack this whole episode, I've been just bright red. Yeah.

I don't know what's happening. You look fine, but you feel hot. You feel flushed. All those double ranches are finally coming back to me. You're dying words, double ranch this episode. I had Tom Gamble order for me, double ranch. So I met Mark Wahlberg on the Simpsons lot at one point for, Nick, I've told this story before I was wearing, I believe a Red Sox jacket because I had a Red Sox jacket and

a Celtics jacket. Hooper, you know this. I wore it all the time. Yeah. And it would just be. You never watched it. If you was unzipped, it was just hangover sweat. Yeah.

No, it was awful. But I believe I was wearing the Red Sox, I was wearing the Red Sox jacket and I drove by him and he said, Hey, nice jacket. That's what he said to me. He said, he said a nice jacket and then I drove away. But he was nice in my one instance with him, but a very complicated history for Wahlberg. And like I said, a lot of my Boston friends don't like the guy. And also he said in the past that he doesn't like boogie nights, like what the fuck is

wrong with him? It's his best movie. His best work. His best work. So, and I mean, that's not why he's complicated. Obviously, there's a lot of issues that he's complicated and I want to say I think that what he did was fucked up. And so that's hard not to think about when you're thinking about the restaurant, of course.

That being said, my experience there with the food was good. I enjoyed my food and my mom enjoyed what she got too. And this is the original location, the Hingham Shipyard and they still got it going on there for I guess like, you know, it was just the process was really swift and everything was going great. And we got, I got in and out of there and the food was hot. I could feel it was hot. It took eight minutes, 10 minutes to get it ready and everything was in there and it tasted

pretty good. So, for me, I think it's just that sort of thing of what you were saying Hooper like, would I want to get Wahlbergers again? No, I don't really care about it and like the burger is good, but it's not like the greatest burger, even though my food was really well done. But all that being said, if I had to judge the restaurant as a restaurant in my experience, I got to go over, I got to go four forks at least or over. Four forks.

I really, I mean, I got to go four forks. I just not taking into consideration Wahlberger the man, which I probably should, but just trying to judge this on the restaurant itself and look, it's, I know his brother owns a restaurant too and Paul Wahlberger. But yeah. And Donnie Wahlberg, married to a famous anti-vaxxer. That's true. There's a lot to unpack here.

He's married too. Jenny McCarthy? Yeah, Jenny McCarthy. Oh. Or at least was. So, also, I just want to say that I was so afraid when I said, triple-decker like the one who grew up in Southie and I accidentally said that and then just going to fucking, my Boston cred is going to be fucking questioned like always because I fucking said, Southie

instead of Dorchester. For fuck's sake. Mike is never going to let you hear the end of it. Yeah. Mike is probably won't let me hear the end of that fucking asshole. He doesn't like good fellas. Mike is, I'm mad at Mike because he doesn't like good fellas. It's insane.

Anyways. Does he say, did he say like more like bad fellas? Yeah. He does. It pisses me off. Oh man. Yeah. I'd be furious if I heard that.

I'm going to go with, I'm going to think I'm just going to go flat four forks. I think that. Wow. Four forks. I mean, what am I supposed to say? It was, they did a really good job. I mean, I was shocked. Yeah.

I mean, it's, I will say it exceeded my expectations. I'm not going to go as high as you, Mitch. But I was like, oh, this is actually, the menu has some thought behind it. Some of these individual dishes are, are, are pretty good. And I really like, you know, this year, no meat shall I eat and, and a lot of places are just really, really, a lot of chains are really vegetarian, unfriendly, actively hostile towards vegetarians. They have a, they have an impossible burger and it's a well thought out impossible burger.

And, and again, I do think Eliza's point though is quite cromulent, if you will. Wow. We're talking Simpsons, a Simpsons reference. That did not register for Eliza at all. She did not. That I would never, that there's no reason I would go to Walburgers if I wasn't reviewing it for this podcast. It's just, it's just, there's, there's, I, there are other sit down burger places I'd

rather have. There are other chain burger places I'd rather have, I'd rather have a fast food burger. I gotta say, you texted me in Susser and you said, is Walburgers good in that? And I was shocked that I felt the same way too. I had that. That was my initial reaction. I was like, this is gonna suck. This is just a gimmick.

This is just someone lending their likeness to, as a license to, you know, like to, to expand their personal brand. That's the whole thing behind this. But it's like, you know, and maybe it, maybe credit does go to Paul Walburg where it's like, oh, there's an actual menu here and it's, it's decent. So I'm gonna say, especially with a little edge to, for, for the great service I got from Steven at the Sunset Boulevard location, three forks, one time, an extra time for Steven for Walburgers.

All right. So yours was just okay. Mine, mine was good. Mine, mine was, I mean, three is good too, but three is good. Three is right in the middle of the, the bell curve. Yeah. Not a golden plate club member, but, but, but better than we expected. And for me, I was, I mean, much better than I thought it was going to be, I was shocked.

It sounded like, I think there might be something to that original location maybe just has more, it's like, has their shit together and also just has a bigger menu and that probably tipped the scales for you a little bit. Yeah. They got, they got, they got rid of, they used to have hot dogs, which they didn't have, they don't have anymore. But I was just thinking like, when it's summertime and you can sit down there outside and like get a beer and get a burger and a hot dog, it would be great.

I mean, like, it truly, like, not, not super expensive either, Wags. It wasn't, you know, like, I got a ton of stuff in that. Right. And it's, it's back it up and it's, it is more expensive than probably like your cheaper fast food places, but, but, but not super expensive, you know, so I don't know. Certainly not. Yeah. Um, if that original location is Johnny drama, work in the deep fryer.

Yeah. In, uh, in turtle work soft serve. Wow. Uh, we'll take a break. We'll be back with more dough boys. Hey, you. You craving fresh, delicious, easy meals, try wild grain and get their bake from frozen sourdough breads, fresh pastas and artisanal pastries delivered right to your door.

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That's wildgrain.com slash dough boys or you can use promo code dough boys at checkout. Do it. Welcome back to dough boys. We are here with Eliza Hooper and it's time for a segment. We're going to decide what our guests' final bites on earth would be in last meal. Eliza Hooper, you've been sentenced to death. That's right Hoops. The year is 2035.

The cartoon wars have ended and Family Guy has won, finally putting The Simpsons off the air 2035. It had a 46 year run. Is that how long that would be? Not out of the realm of possibility. Sounds about right. A 46 year run and Family Guy has won the cartoon wars and guess what? Peter Griffin has a decree.

We're going to hunt down every person who's ever worked for The Simpsons and have them executed. Oh my God. You think that's bad? Well the way we're going to execute them is by simsonizing them in real life, you're going to get dumped into yellow paint and then a steam roller is going to flatten you to a piece of paper, you're going to get simsonized. Wow.

Turn 2D. They're going to do it by having a bunch of MarjuVax fall on you. That's the thing only Hooper and I know. The Simpsons Christmas gift for one year that nearly killed us. MarjuVax? I came right after that I think. That was a true nightmare. I didn't have to move as you did and I never heard the end of it.

My bumper got pulled off my car so I was driving on with my bumper in my car and MarjuVax just it was just a nightmare. They were vacuums with blue Marj wigs on them that were gifts to, I mean they weren't even for the staff, weren't they? They were for like 700 people total I believe somewhere around there. 700 vacuums? 700 vacuums and so me and the other PA were just responsible for it and then there was basically like three or four of us but when it came down to it it was just on the PAs

and then you go into, I remember walking in Universal City Walk because the Simpsons movie happened and we had to deliver vacuums to City Walk and having three vacuums in the middle of City Walk and walking to these places and then finding out that it was just the wrong office. So I was just walking around fucking City Walk with a bunch of MarjuVax, a true fucking nightmare. Anyways, I'm getting mad now. Hooper, you've been sentenced to death, you're going to get Simpsonized.

What is your last meal? You can have anything from any time period, anything you want, as many courses as you like, but what is the perfect last meal? Everything is possible. Everything is on the table. If you want that cherry pie from Twin Peaks, you can have it. This is too hard. Oh man, I hope this never, I hope I never have to actually decide this.

I hope I never get Simpsonized in real life because I don't know what I'm going to pick. Well, I really like the candy dots. Hooper, what the fuck is this? Dots. The candy dots. Sorry. The candy dots is your choice? No, no, no, no, no, it's probably Del Taco, the chicken soft taco from the Barstow location.

Great choice. The Barstow, the original Del Taco. Any beverages with those hoops? Well, yeah, I probably would. You could get yourself drunk if you want to. I was going to say probably something alcoholic. I think probably a nice gin and tonic. Yeah.

Okay. I mean, I'm describing what I would like to have served at my funeral. Chicken soft tacos. Chicken soft tacos and dots. Yeah. And then probably, yeah, and probably some Haribo for good measure. Wow. You like gummy?

You like gummy? Golden bears? Oh, yeah. Yes, but I really like the cherries. Mitch, you probably wanted me to say that I was going to order, or I'd get a veggie plate. With two double ranch? Ranch. Yeah.

That's probably what you wanted, but that's not my choice. Wow. That's yours. Chicken soft tacos from the original Del Taco. Dots, some Haribo cherries and a gin and tonic. Yeah. Under pressure, I choose junk food. Wow.

I get it though. Yeah. Well, hoops, you don't even get a chance to eat that meal because all of a sudden two ranches fall into your lap. It's a, it's a signal. Fighting up in the Simpsons PA cart is me and your uncle Tom Gamble. Get in Eliza. We're going to go and Homer J Simpson himself.

Wow. Has he been humanized? He's been humanized. The reverse. He's been reversed. Simsonized. Reverse. Reverse.

Simsonized. Someone inflated him and he says, get in Eliza. We're going to go get some frosty chocolate milkshakes. And then maybe watch blue velvet on DVD. Wow. He kind of sounds like Peter Griffin. I kind of wanted to be. He does.

And Hooper, the four of us right off into the sunset together. Okay. And it's in a, and yeah, and we, we go on to serve a, I don't know, we go on to serve algae and copies for the rest of our lives. That's it. That's reality at 20, 15, 20 years removed from movie stardom. You have your PA job again. That's right.

Wow. What a good ending. There you go. You know what? I did a really good job. I guess you could call it that. I think Hooper did a good job picking that last meal under pressure. Thank you.

Thank you. You got to go with, you got to go with your, your release valves. You got to go with the stuff that you crave when you're, when you're under stress. Right. Yeah. That's a stress meal. Yeah. And that's fine.

You know, if I die stress, then I, or if I become it, if I become a Simpsons character under stress, then I became a character the way I lived. Wow. Yeah. You know what? I'd maybe jump in your place, get Simpson eyes. It sounds pretty cool. Hey, that was last meal.

You get saved hoops and you, and your meal, you don't have to eat that fucking pathetically sad meal that why girl loves dots, a chicken soft taco and a gin and tonic and some Haribou cherries. Yeah. That sounds like, that's like, it's a chaos meal. Yeah. Who's the fat clown murderer? What's his name?

That's like a poor, sad ladies meal. Are you thinking of John Wayne Gacy? Yeah. That's like John, that's like John Wayne Gacy's last meal. Christ. I mean, he's a notable figure. It's true. All right.

That's last meal. That was last meal. Just like a restaurant. We value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback and hey, we have a voicemail today. Let's take a listen. Hey guys, it's Joe from Des Moines. My question is, if Ben and Jerry's were to create a pint in your honor, either individually

or as the Del Boyce, what would be the make up of that pint flavor and what would you call it? Thanks for the laugh. Wow. Wow. Ben and Jerry's flavor created in our honor will never happen, but I think there's something interesting here of, if you were going to craft your own mixins, your own base, your own ribbons, a core, if you will, what components would you have that are personal to you?

And I also do wonder how much does a cold bear have, how much input does he have into a maricone dream? Or is that something they're like, here's a flavor we made for you, why don't you put your name on it and he's like, sure. Why? I heard he makes every batch. Wow. It's a workhorse.

I, you know what just popped into my head immediately? I love chocolate lava cake. What if you did like a chocolate, you got chocolate cake, fudge swirls and vanilla ice cream and all within the ice cream, like chocolate cake chunks. You know what? Throw in some chocolate chip chunks too. Wow. Cake and cookies in the same mix.

Wait, cookies? What are you talking about? Isn't that what you said? Throw in some chocolate chip cookie dough? Chocolate chips. Chips. Oh, just straight up chips. I'm sorry.

Yeah. I kind of like the cookie dough idea. You like, oh, you want to add cookie dough to it? I'd say both. Yeah, why not? Hey, we're going dough crazy. We got some cookie dough in it and we got some cake chunks. Why?

Well, no, you just hit it. You just, you just hit the fucking vein. You did it. Wow. We, we, we, we, we got the geyser wigs. This is it. This is, it's, it's called dough crazy, dough boys, dough boys, dough crazy. Every sort of dough.

We get every dough in there. Yeah. That, that, I love that throwing in a bunch of different doughs. Cookie dough, play dough, sour dough, sour dough, pizza dough, pizza dough, dough, yeah, a dough, a Homer dough. They have a cinnamon bun dough at Ben and Jerry's that we toss that in too. Yeah. Why not?

Chaos dough. Just throw them all in there. Eliza, are you a Ben and Jerry's fan? Do you like ice cream? I do. I am a thrifty ice cream fan. Oh, thrifty ice cream. Yeah.

Available at Righted's. Yeah. I'm, I'm really into that. Yes. Oh, I didn't know that was a brand. I thought you were just saying, probably stating that. I'm very thrifty. Yeah.

Well, yeah. I do like dots because they're a dollar box. Is this, are you in dots? You love dots? Yes, Mitch. God. Yeah. I never knew this about you.

I never asked. Wow. She knows your lunch order by heart, and you don't know a thing about her. This is not true. I bet you don't even know which is my favorite color. I don't know what is your favorite, what? Color? My favorite, my favorite dot color.

Red. Yes. Hold on a second. I thought, I thought my chocolate, I thought my chocolate lava cake ice cream was a pretty good idea. It was. I hate to say it, but it was. Yeah, it's a good idea.

Is there, is there like not a lot of like cake ice, like little chunks of cake and ice cream? There's not enough. I mean, yeah, you often see brownie chunks. Cake chunks, I feel like it's, it's less of a thing, but you just say, like they'll, they have like a cheetah, like a strawberry cheesecake ice cream. That's good. Well, here's something crazy about our brand and Jerry's lava cake ice cream. The cake's hot.

Wow. Be an engineering marvel if they pulled that out. Wow. And it wouldn't melt the ice cream. Yeah. That's what, that's what my fear would be. No, the ice cream's still frozen, but the cake is hot. Anyways, moving on.

Eliza, what, so what are your ice cream flavors of choice? What are your go-tos? My go-to. Okay. Well, for thrifty mint, mint chocolate chip, actually that's my go-to for any, any brand. You can't, usually you can't go wrong with that. And then I like cookies and cream. I like a good cookies and cream ice cream.

I get it. Where the cookie is like big chunks, it's a little soft, but the inside of it is still pretty firm. That's, that's my jam. Wow. Good choices. I do love a cookies and cream, and by the way, we should make sure to throw some Oreo cookie chunks into our, our ice cream along with a Homer dose is, is, here's my question

about your, about mint chip. Sometimes we'll go to a fancy ice cream parlor, like a salt and straw, for instance, they've got like a mint, mint chip that's not like the mint flavor that you know. It's like a, it's like a high amount of an actual mint. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly what you're talking about. I'm not into that.

Not into it. No. I mean, I can appreciate it, but I, I, you know, I like classic things. Okay. Like your classic mint chip, your classic cookies and cream. Your classic candy, dots, mint. Yep. Red dots.

Yeah. I, I think I just don't, I, I, I like, I like the simpler version. I, I, yeah. I mean, I, I'll eat that, but I prefer like the green mint chip ice cream, not that. You can't go too mint. I feel like if you get too minty, then you're like, what are you doing here? You know, if it gets like, it would taste like you're actually eating actual mint. No, what are you doing?

I don't want that. What are you doing? I'm with you. Yeah. I've had this before, but that green ice cream that Kermit eats in a Muppet movie, it looks really good. Hmm. I mean, like, I think the issue is that it's like fly ice cream is the issue and that's

not why I'm interested in it because that's disgusting, but the ice cream itself looks really good. Green often a good flavor. Hmm. I like mint chocolate chip wags. Yeah. Me too. And I like a pistachio also green.

That was my old order. Mint chocolate chip with, uh, with some chocolate sprinkles and a cone. Your childhood order? Yep. Back when I was a little boy. Wow. A big little, a big little boy. Right.

Uh, we need a name for this, for our creation, Mitch, I'll pitch. We got dough in it. We're the dough boys, the tonight dough, starring Jimmy Fallon and the dough boys. I mean, I love it. Great. Ship it. Um, Ben and Jerry, it got your marching orders. Uh, how about, uh, for my chocolate lava cake one, uh, lava eruption, uh, with Mitch.

I love it. Uh, I, okay, I think you could do better. Lava, lava eruption with Mitch. Wow. I'm all, yeah, I'm on the point. It's just my head. Yeah. Uh, yeah, that would take up most of the surface area of the pint.

You could do, uh, a Mitch and chip ice cream. Oh, that's fun. That's good. It would be Mitch and chocolate chip, Mitch flavored. What is that? Mitch and chocolate chips. Mitch flavored, uh, hmm, I don't know. Yeah.

We might not want to market that. No. You don't want to chew that cream. My, my, my, my, my flavor, my flavor changes daily. It depends on the day. Oh. Good God. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email

us at dowboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-go to that's 830-463-6844. And to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash Doughboys. Eliza Hooper, thank you for, for appearing here on the Doughboys podcast. Thank you. A delight to have you. Anything you would like to plug at this time? Uh, I'd like to plug this episode of the show that I'm hearing it.

Wow. No one's ever done that. Listen to it if you haven't already. It's a good one. I'm in it. So please, please listen to all your friends. Hoops. I got to say, I haven't seen you in a long time, but we used to have a lot of fun working

together. Me, you, Joe Saunders, Jane Becker and other Simpsons alum. Oh yeah. Uh, Kate Raft was a Simpsons alum. Uh, a lot of, a lot of people have gone through, through the Simpsons. A lot of great people. But, uh, I love, yeah, I love, uh, I love, and I love Tom Gamble. I love, uh, and I, uh, I hope to see it once this, the world goes back to normal.

Aw. Yeah. I hope to see you too. And I really mean that. It's the first thing I've met on this show. Wow. Wow. What a tender note to end on.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. You're kidding that you don't mean it? You don't want to see me? I do. I do. I want to see you all. Hey, maybe we'll meet up at the, that Arkansas burger chain.

Yes. Feltner Brothers. Feltner Brothers. We'll meet up at Feltner Brothers. Okay. All right. Oops. If you get out of, if you get out of, hey, she's got a fiance.

Well, it's a piece of shit. Well, I didn't mean to like that. Seems like you did. It'll be a group date. Yeah. If you get out of Twin Peaks, that is, you're in the fucking, watch your back up there. There's a lot of mist rolling in, so anything could happen. Oh, no.

I hope it's not Stephen King's the mist. I, oh God, where am I? What a matchup. That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. See you next time for Mr. Slice, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya. On the next Doughboys Double.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. That's right. It's the 2020 Doughlympic Susser Games, backed by popular demand and over our objections. Commissioner Evan Susser joins as we decide the chain restaurant industry's elite eats. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Get the Doughboys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description.