Doughboys - Wendy's 4 with Brooks Wheelan

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

Brooks Wheelan (@brookswheelan, Alive in Alaska) joins the 'boys to talk outdoor experiences, camping, and Quarter Sheets before a review of Wendy's. Plus another edition of Slop Quiz.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://todayinsci.com/L/Ley_Willy/LeyWilly-Quotations.htmhttps://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/21/nyregion/willy-ley-rocket-ashes.htmlhttps://cdnc.ucr.edu/?a=d&d=DS19690625.2.29&e=-------en--20--1--txt-txIN--------https://web.archive.org/web/20081220144843/http://www.astronautix.com/astros/ley.htmhttps://www.wendys.com/daves-legacySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash doughboysmedia. With a $5 meal deal with new McValue, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Prices of anticipation may vary. McDouble Meal is $6 in some markets for a limited time only. The point to remember is that a giant leap into space can be a giant leap toward peace down below.

This was one of many prescient quotes by the futurist Willy Ley, the early 20th century's foremost populizer of the then theoretical concept of space travel. In life, Willie Lay was the Carl Sagan or Neil deGrasse Tyson of his day, a pop culture figure who appeared on The Tonight Show and consulted on Disneyland's Tomorrowland as an evangelist for exploring the cosmos. Today, his pioneering work is mostly forgotten. A recent New York Times story by Maureen Kavanaugh revealed that Ley's ashes were housed for decades in the cluttered basement of a New

York City apartment, akin to future generations finding Bill Nye's skeleton in a storage unit. Born in Germany in 1906, Ley fled his homeland in 1935 for some reason and settled in the U.S., where he went on to publish popular books like 1944's Rockets, the future of travel beyond the stratosphere and 1953's The Conquest of the Moon. As a German-American immigrant, he was also a key figure in recruiting expat German rocket scientists like Werner von Braun to the US space program as part of the post-World War II operation paperclip.

While Ley witnessed his idea of spaceflight come true in his lifetime, he didn't live to see its apex. He died less than a month before Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin set foot on the moon on July 20, 1969. Later that very same year, back upon the pale blue dot we call Earth, Dave Thomas opened his first burger restaurant in Ohio, a business brainchild named for his actual child. But Thomas, like Lay, did not live to observe his vision-make history decades later. His chain's long-shot Cinderella run, which climaxed in its triumph in Munch Madness 2025 as the Square Patty purveyor hoisted the trophy named for Thomas himself. Sadly, Lay's vision of space exploration leading to world peace was far too optimistic.

Instead, space has become a new front for militarization, satellites are an essential tool for the surveillance state, and enormously successful public sector programs like NASA have been defunded in favor of privatization by hobbyist asshole billionaires. But at least Dave Thomas' chain has a new Cajun chicken sandwich. This week on Doughboys, we return, once again, to Munchbadness 10, MMX, the Tournament of Tournament of Champions of Champions, Totcock winner, Wendy's.

MUSIC Come on! So it's the Doughboy Awards! Double Hot Doughboy Awards! MUSIC So it's the Doughboy. Doughboy Doughboy. Doughboy. Welcome to Doughboy's, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, the White Low Tea,

the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell. The White Low Tea. Yeah, that took me a second to process. The White Lotus is what it, the White Low Tea. But the syllables are a little different. That took me a second to process the white lotus is what the white low T, but the syllables are a little different. That took you a second to process what it was from? The white low, because I was like, the white low, what is that? Oh, white low T, like lotus.

The syllables are a little different. White low T. Sure, the season is over now, the zeitgeist, but maybe season four can take place at the Four Seasons in Quincy. Wow, how about that? Love you all. Nick from Chicago. Oh man, that would be a wild fucking season,

I'll tell you that much. Mitch, we will be back in Quincy soon because we are going to Boston for our 10th anniversary live show at the Wilbur. That's right. That will be Saturday, May 17th with John Gaberson's special guest, so join us for that.

Tickets still available, birdfuck.com slash live. Birdfuck.com, get your tickets, wigs. Very excited to go back to Quincy. What a hoot. You're not going to stay in Quincy. You refuse to stick. No, bitch, why would you say that when the last time I was there, I stayed a couple of extra days? That is true.

That's absolutely what happened last time. Because I just gave you a hard time. Can I give you a hard time for a second? Not based on any sort of precedent, by the way. I loved that you did, and you have a great time with my mom. We had a lovely time. I love your mom.

Yeah, yeah, you're getting a little too close. Yeah. You're my coworker, and I can call you Papa. Yeah. Why, is you didn't notice something about me? There's something new. Yeah, I mean, cause you said something new, and cause you kind of had a little,

I don't know if you realized your physical tell there. I did a physical tell because you're not getting it. You have a new Celtics hat. That's right, yes. Yes, for the playoffs. You did not get it at all. Well, in all fairness, it looks the same as the Celtics hat you always wear, just a little fresher.

Okay. I mean, am I wrong? Is this a wildly different hat? Is this a totally new look for Mitch? You know what? It's the same, it's a little different, but it's another green hat for the same team. This is rude of me, but suck my freaking hog.

All right. All right, let me fasten on a jeweler's loop. See what I'm working with. We should note that speaking of new stuff. But you know what? It's just like a diamond. It might be that tiny, but oh, if you have the chance to get it, it's, oh baby.

Saying it's hard as a diamond? No, no, definitely not. It's the softest diamond you can get. Wags, let's hit him with a drop. What were you gonna say? You gonna say something weird too? Did I throw it on you too fast? No, no, I just didn't know if you wanted to answer the question before I hit play.

You know what, here's what we'll do. I will think of a response, we'll listen to the drop, and also another thing that would be great, what we're dealing with procedure here is if I could get the timer to look at you. Oh, sorry. No, you're fine. Everyone's fine. Everyone's doing great. Here comes the drop. He's spiraling. Jack!

Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! He's spiraling. Jack Box is the character's name. The person's name. The real person's name. And I'm next to him and I'm very nervous. And he just looks over at me and he says... Nice cock. Did he do his Lost World entry riff? This guy is like a fucking gumball in the shit.

Yeah, he's the gift. What's crazy is how they got his head into the gift basket. Two tacos for 99 cents. What's next? Four tacos for $1.98? Being a little bitch, get back in there. Wow. Wow. It sounded good. I mean, the music sounded good.

The rest of it sounded like us. It sounded bad. Yeah. Wags, sounded good. The rest of it sounded like us. It sounded bad. Yeah. Wags, did you have a response as I look up... I was going to say, speaking of new items in the studio over where you're sitting, you got your new Celtics hat. Jemmy has a new blanket. Isn't that cute?

That's right. Jemmy's got a new blanket. It's the color of royalty for a queen. A little too much hair on the chair for some people. Yeah, so look, have other podcasters been complaining about there being too much Jemmy fur shed in the studio? Has a Jemmy band been floated by some other podcasters slash podcast producers? And is the compromise that we have a new blanket for Jemmy?

All this might be true. But the most important thing is that she looks very cute on that new blanket. Actually, dog hair can be an epidermis irritant. All right, Adam. He actually is not the one who complained. Only one person is allowed to have too much hair in the studio.

He's not the problem. He's actually not the problem. He's not the problem. He isn't the guy. He's not the guy who complained. studio. He's not the problem. He's actually not the problem. He isn't the guy. He's not the guy who complained. He's factually not the problem. Yeah, he is factually not the problem. We love Adam. He's out there.

I mean, we joke about him all the time, and he treats me the same way when I walk in. He looks at me and looks back down. That's all I ever get out of him, which is, you know what, is perfect for me. He is a nice man to us. Okay, hi DK and Doughboy's family. This is bad, but no copyright issues. It's a WAV file, but let me know if another form is better.

Okay, this is great to read. Yeah. Love the show. Thanks. Best Steve S in Chicago. Thanks, Steve S. Emma, do we have a preferred file format for the drops? WAV file is perfect. WAV is great. Is that ideal? Like if someone sends it an MP3 or you're like Emma, do we have a preferred file format for the drops? Wave file is perfect. Wave is great.

Is that ideal, like if someone sends it an MP3 or you're like, I'd rather have a wave? I mean, technically MP3s hold less data, so waves always will sound better, but really either works. How do you feel about an AIF? Oh, those are like the strongest. They hold everything.

Oh, really? So someone gets an AIF, AIFF format. A lot of programs don't like them. They have to be converted. Right, right. But that's the ideal. But if they're sending a wave, you're not complying. No, yeah, that's fine.

And if it's an MP3, you can work with it, but we run out of a wave. I'll make it work. The podcast goes out as an MP3, so, yeah, it's all the same. Right, right. Wave, are you a WAVA file? Here's a question for you.

Do you like, what's your favorite type of wave? You're like. This is fascinating. You've come in at the right time, by the way. I'm wondering if you're a wave of file. Actually, you know what? I'm gonna introduce our guest. I'm gonna open it up to these questions to both of you.

Jops at birdfuck.com. Our guest is an actor and comedian from SNL and I think you should leave. His new special, Alive in Alaska, is now available on YouTube. Check it out, Brooks Whelan is here. Hi, Brooks. Hey.

Thanks so much for joining us. I'm so excited to talk about files. Yeah. I love how different types of files are. That was a trick to tell them, you guys told me this was a food pod. We'll get there eventually, but we're gonna talk waves for a good 45 minutes now.

Not to put you on blast, but when I landed, you were working on your laptop and I introduced myself and you were like, I'm uploading something. So some file transfer was taking place. I'm an MP3 boy. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was uploading a podcast, yeah. Yeah, I'm uploading something. So some file transfer was taking place. I'm an MP3 boy. OK, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was uploading a podcast, yeah.

Yeah, well, there you go. And I wasn't rude. I was just like, sorry, I'm so sorry. I think I said sorry three times. You weren't rude at all. You did make it sound like he was being very rude right now. Not at all.

That's what it sounded like. Well, I didn't mean to sound like that. You've been lovely today. And we're very, very excited to have you on the podcast. I'm excited to be here. I really like this podcast. Thanks for having me. And I prefer an MP3.

What about you? I don't know. I mean, to be here. I really like this podcast. Thanks for having me. I prefer an MP3. What about you? I don't know. I'm not going to contradict Emma, who knows her stuff the most of anyone in this room. So I'm going to say wave, audio-wise. All right, well, here's the question. What do you like?

Wave file, wave hello, ocean wave. Oh, man. Ocean waves are so nice. They're really good, but also they make you wipe out. Don't forget that. But if you're just, Mitch, here's the thing though. If you're a good surfer, it doesn't happen? I, well, I wasn't gonna say that.

Okay. I was just gonna say like, that's like the most content I am. As someone like you, like a someone who grew up by the sea, the most content I am is when I go out and I'm just looking at the ocean and I'm just seeing the waves coming in. When Gaia is performing her daily tasks,

to me, there's nothing better. A simple wave roll, a simple sun setting, she's beautiful. Rooks, I know you love the outdoors, but you're from the Midwest. Do you have the same sort of fondness for an ocean wave? My life could be the worst in the world. Yeah. Like everything could be going really bad,

but if I see the ocean, I'm like, everything's all right, man. Exactly. Yes. Yeah, it's wonderful. I'm an ocean boy. I grew up on the ocean. Ocean. Are you a? I grew up in Iowa.

I'd never seen the ocean until I was 21. But I did get the ocean tattooed on my side when I was 19, because I just assumed I was probably into the ocean. And you were right. Yeah. That's great. Quincy is right on the water.

So it's the Atlantic. Yeah, show you. Check out how bad that is. Holy shit. Whoa you were right. Yeah. That's great. Quincy is right on the water. So it's the Atlantic. Yeah, sure. Check out how bad that is. Holy shit. Whoa! That rocks. That's a really bad tattoo. No, I think that's awesome.

This is the last one you get. Well. After that one, I'm like, we're done. Check out the first one we got. Oh yeah, how about that? This is this year. That's cool. See, yeah, that looks good.

This is in Galena, Illinois. These guys just printing stamps on my body. Just remember when, like, you didn't know in 2005 that tattoos could be subtle or well done. They were just stamps, man. Sucked. Man, I can't imagine. It's already intimidating being in that area,

seeing that fucking tiger's face right before I. Right before you what? Diamond stud over here. Yeah. All right, you're as I as a Leo something for that thing. You can catch my drift Yeah, you bet what diamond? Okay As I alluded to you're you're something of an outdoors. I love being outside a lot. Yeah I like whenever I'm camping I'm like no one's mad at me here As I alluded to, you're something of an outdoorsman. I love being outside a lot. Yeah. Like, whenever I'm camping, I'm like, no one's mad at me here. That's how I feel.

So I, and Mitch and Chris, your connection with camping. The animals probably not thrilled that you're in their area. Sure, sure, sure. The people around me are mad at me, too. Whoever I'm with is like, I'm mad at you. Yeah, you're not in charge of my job, anyway. I spent way too much of my youth as part

of the Christianist indoctrination org, the Boy Scouts of America. And so my association with camping is pretty negative from all those mandatory camp outs. You mostly worked for the Christian end of that, right? You were trying to get kids in there. You were sent out into the field to bring them in. Let's pray.

It was a, yeah, so sent out into the field to bring them in. Yeah. Let's pray. It was a, yeah, so like, like, like, I've not returned to camping. When I became an adult, I was like, hey, I can stay in a hotel now. And so, but I, but there, in recent years, and partly, yeah, we were talking about this before we recorded, you were on High and Mighty,

our buddy, John Gabris's podcast, talking about, you know, camping and about the outdoors, like, like things like that make me want to experience again, because I bet I could come to it with fresh eyes and middle-aged and appreciate it. So you need an entry-level person to bring you. You need to go with a pal who has all the gear and show you a good time and Joshua treats,

so you don't have to spend like $2,000 to get all the gear that you essentially want by the end of it. But if somebody takes you and you just have a good time, like then you're like, oh cool, now I guess next time I'll get a new sleeping bag. I'll get a new tent. And it just like slowly builds to where you're like, now I have great gear

and this is just the most fun thing in the world. And I love it because like I grew up in Iowa, like which is very outdoors, very nature and I hated it. I wanted to be in New York City. I was like, fuck Iowa, I hate, and I hated it. I wanted to be in New York City. I was like, fuck Iowa, I hate Iowa, I hate this. And then when I got to like New York, I was like, I really miss nature. And so it's like a good escape.

Whenever I'm stressed, like going to look at the ocean, I'll go look at a mountain, I'll go camp at the beach. Like it truly is just like, instead of going to therapy, that's what I go do. I should probably do both. Yeah. Yeah. We're in the therapist of the beach.

That would be nice. That would be great. That would be great. Mitch, what is your camping experience? Well, I don't know if Gaber's talked about this. I went, Ross Kimball and Gaber and I. Oh, that's right. A friend of the pod.

We went, was this post COVID? it was post COVID, right? It was like maybe a year out of COVID or something. The timing sounds right. Yeah, y'all had a little outdoors adventure. COVID got everybody out. Yeah. That like destroyed the national parks, like was overflow. I mean, it was, people were getting out there

and then the parks rangers were like, we're overwhelmed. I'm like, because all the sites are full, but like that is why they were overwhelmed. Sure, yes. I'm like, because all the sites are full, but like, that is why they were overwhelmed. Sure, yes. And they're like, yeah, we aren't used to this. I was like, OK, that's fair. We added to that mess for sure. And Gaberson and Ross was like, we'll hike,

and we'll hike up to this lake. And I get it. Where was this? I'm going to text and figure out where it was. But we went, and it was so clear, because he was like, how's like your conditioning going? And I was like, good. And I was like, I can walk around,

like I can do like a three mile walk. And he was like, he was like, okay, great. And then we were hiking and it was just, it was a fucking true nightmare. It was- You know, you just wearing your Adidas, I assume you don't have hiking shoes. I bought hiking shoes.

I had hiking socks. I bought hiking shoes. Oh, you didn't buy hiking shoes. I had hiking socks. We bought gear. It was just that sort of thing of the entrance to even get to the place. It was a tough walk up, kind of vertically straight up. And we were walking and I was like, I'm not gonna make it. And Gabe was just very nice because we made it

a certain amount and the lake was still three miles away or something. Just like, and like not an easy hike at all. And I was like, I don't know if I can do it. And Gabris was very nice in that he was like, and cause Gabris is a very athletic man, a big guy, but super athletic guy. Nimble. I'd call him nimble. He is, he's very nimble.

So he's, he's, he, I am, I do not have the athletic stamina that he has at all, but he was very nice in that he was like, I was not have the athletic stamina that he has at all, but he was very nice in that he was like, I was almost checked out too. I couldn't have gone too much further. I, it was, it was too big of a hike for our first time. And then we went back and we had drinks and it was great. And then I went swimming in a river and I almost got swept down the river and Gabris was afraid, but I gulped a bunch of water.

And then I got so sick. I couldn't walk two feet with like outshitting my pants. Whoa! I got like some sort of... Was this like Eastern Sierra, it's like up to 395? Sounds like that. I think yes, hold on, I gotta find out exactly where it was. Yeah, but it was...

But you're saying your body was just rebelling to, like, mountain sickness is a real thing, you can get sick from elevation, is that what you're saying, or you're saying you got a waterborne illness? No, I got some waterborne illness. Oh, that's horrible. It was one of the big ones. The doctor that I...

Brain amoeba? That's the big one. It was not a brain amoeba. I mean, maybe it is. I mean, I've had shit since then, you know? I just went on the craziest venture of my whole life where I did think I was gonna die with some pro skateboarder friends

where one of them won the lottery through the National Park Service where you raft through the Grand Canyon for 18 days. Wow. Like, and we didn't have like a guide. We just kind of lied about our skills and like went through really upsetting rapids without any knowledge of how to do it.

And like I got thrown out and was pulled under. Oh my God. Yeah, I was like in the water for like way too long and like got hypothermia and had to do it and like I got thrown out and was pulled under. Oh my God. Yeah, I was like in the water for like way too long and like got hypothermia and had to do like the little blanket by the fire after like being positive I was drowning. Jesus. This was like in February.

And so for only time I've ever been like, oh, I'm dying and I always thought dying might be chill. It's so scary. Yeah. It's really scary. I was like, this is not chill. It's so scary. It's really scary. I was like, this is not chill. I'm so cold, the water's so cold and I can't breathe. I'm gonna be hyper aware that when I do die

and then I like pulled myself out. But they were all like, how fun was that? And like, cause these guys are like professional skateboarders who kind of, I think do wanna die a little bit. And I was like, I like doing crazy shit, but this is fucking bad idea, guys. Yeah.

And I was like, I don't, and that was day eight. We still had 10 more days of rapids. And I was like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. But the only way out was to call a helicopter with our sat phone. So I was like, it was awful. But then in hindsight, it was fun.

The genre of like like, river rapid movies is a pretty bleak genre. If you like look at what, you know, the River Wild or like Deliverance. Like, these are not movies where things work out OK for everyone. I like that. That's when you're going to choose Deliverance.

Well, truly, I watched Deliverance not that long ago. It's not that interesting. And like, the rape scene is like pretty quick. It's weird. Oh, yeah. It was a pretty interesting. And the rape scene is pretty quick. It's weird. Oh yeah. It's a pretty- I've heard this complaint before.

Yeah. All right. Oh yeah, I guess you're right. But I was just like, the myth of it was more than what it was in my head. I was like, oh, that's the thing I've been scared of that I've never, not rape, but just that scene was always so scary.

Weird mountain people that are gonna come and get you. Yeah, and then I watched it, I was like, oh, this is just, it seemed pretty realistic. Well, you know what else is realistic is that Burt Reynolds nearly was killed. And there's a scene there, right, where he gets a- Yes, we did, we covered deliverance on the podcast, which when we were doing Atlanta,

I don't know if you remember that, the HTL a few years ago. I think it was like 2017, 2018 at this point, long time ago. But when I was watching that movie, I did find that sequence quite harrowing. But the overall thing, the overall experience, I just like, this just seems so miserable.

Like, what a fucking awful journey into hell. It was, so what was cool about the Grand Canyon 18 days was no phones, like, not that we... I love that. We just didn't have phones, and like, so what was cool about the Grand Canyon 18 days was no phones. Like not that we- I love that. We just didn't have phones and like each day was a mission until we get further down. And so like, it was like intense therapy by the end. It was just like, you know, it was, it was awesome.

Like, I just really thought a lot. And honestly, when I was down there, I felt like I came out fixed. Like after 18 days, I was like, oh, so okay, cool. I truly know how to like, like be came out fixed, like after 18 days, I was like, oh, so okay, cool. I truly know how to like, be normal when I, but I didn't realize that everyone in the world also didn't just do 18 days of like solitude. So when I came out, they're like,

we've been watching TV all week, man. You weren't all so deeply, deeply thinking about our relationships? Oh, oh gosh, okay, okay, all right. That's good for you though, that's a good place to be. It was awesome, yeah, okay. Okay. All right. That's good for you, though. That's a good place to be. It was awesome. Yeah, it was great. I mean, you almost died, too, I guess. No, but that was like, I felt this way.

I would never invite anybody on that trip if we go again, because I'm like, you can die, and I don't want to be the guy who invited the person who dies. But I'll go on it. I mean, I will die, it sounds like. I got, I realized I got E. coli. That's what I got from the river. That is the big one.

Besides brain worm. Is it brain worm? No,. coli, that's what I got from the river. That is the big one. That's rough. Besides brainworm. Yeah. Is it brainworm? No, that's the other one. Oh, okay, that's not brainworm. Mine went to brain amoeba, because that's what it,

and when I hear about someone getting an illness from a lake that kills them, it's that. And that sounds like such a horrifying death. But it sounds like you just got some shit in your mouth. Yeah, I got like, yeah, like a deer turd, or bear shit or something in my mouth. That's crazy. That's a really bad experience.

It was so, I got home and then like that next, like a few days later, cause I was like, we had camped out in the cold and I was, I got cold so I was like, oh, I'm getting sick. But then it was that sort of thing where I was like, I couldn't, I couldn't get up from the, I was like, oh, this really feels like I'm dying. I had never had anything like that.

I supposedly, if you die in the cold, it's not, it feels like you're going to sleep. You take your clothes off or something. Yeah, hypothermia. Hypothermia feels like you're going to sleep. It's not a bad way to die. But it sounds like being underwater and being cold.

Drowning, it's mostly the drowning. The drowning sounds like it is. They say that they say drowning is not bad, but it sounded like that was very bad. And on the bright side, you and Burt Reynolds had a very similar experience. He broke like, didn't he break ribs and shit or whatever? I don't remember the details, but yeah,

it was not a great experience making that movie, from what I've heard. I had that, it happened one time where I, on my 21st birthday, you know, I got hammered and I was really, I thought I was hungover for like two weeks. It's like two weeks later and I'm just like, I just can't get rid of this hangover. And I'm just like, I'll go to the doctor and he was really, I thought I was hungover for like, two weeks. It's like two weeks later and I'm just like, I just can't get rid of this hangover.

And I was like, I'll go to the doctor and he's like, you have spinal meningitis. Oh my God. Yeah, and I was like, that makes more sense than just being hungover from two weeks ago. What is the treatment like for that? How long was the recovery? I had to like leave college for a little bit.

Oh my God. Yeah, just like a week, but I was like, can't be in college for this. Yeah, do you have any idea how you contracted it, or? I think living like a dirty, dirty person. Right, sure. That's the thing, is like, when you drink and you get, it's like, oh, I got sick because I was drinking and my body doesn't feel good or whatever,

and you just kind of write it off. Also, living in a tetanus house. Yeah. Yeah. We were talking about the Doughboys and the house you lived in. Yeah. And they both sounded like true nightmares. Just terrifying, yeah. Yeah. We were talking about the Doughboys and the house you lived in. Yeah.

And they both sounded like true nightmares. Terrifying, yeah. Yeah, they were. I know from the birth. I didn't live there, but the Birthday Boys House was a true nightmare. You even went there before you were. Yeah, you said the Doughboys House at first,

but you meant the Birthday Boys House. Oh, the Doughboys House. The Doughboys House would be so cool. Oh my god. That would be good. I keep that thing spick and span. So tidy. Knock on my door at 5 45 AM. You up, buddy?

No. In fact, I'm about to go to sleep. I live, so ours was called the Power Violence Mansion, which is not a place you want to live. No. A Power Violence Mansion. And we went to the birthday boy's house, and we were like, this is how you should do it.

That's how dark ours was. Oh, Jesus. We looked up to how you guys were living. You were saying that an elevator, which I was. There was an elevator. It was like an old, I don't know, 70s house that had an elevator that would just open up into your room. Yeah.

It's like a forest toy mansion. And you would be asleep or trying to sleep, and there'd be a party downstairs, because it's never not a party downstairs. There's 13 people live there, 13 psychos, and you just hear somebody would get drunk and want to show off the elevator, like, all right, man, she has an elevator.

And you would just hear it coming up to your room and you'd be like, no, no, no, no, no. Because the door would just open and be 15 people you've never met that are just like, wow! And you're like, it's Tuesday, you gotta stop. That's too much for me. I can't, I couldn't, that's why I never,

I like to party like that, but I like to be at that house and then go to my own thing. And that's like, Kalpakis' room was like in the middle of like a living room. It was a downstairs living room, but it was just in the middle and like a, so you'd be partying in Kalpakis' room basically a lot of times. My room, but it was just in the middle and like a. Yeah, no privacy. So you'd be partying in Calpacus' room, basically a lot of times.

My room, when I first moved there, my room was an entrance to a different room. So like I was in the hallway is what that is called. Yeah, I'm just like in and out. And then our friend, our friend Clay Tatum, who's this really great comic. Oh yeah. His parents moved out.

His mom and dad moved into the house. Oh my God. And Clay, to deal with that, he moved out. His mom and dad moved into the house. Oh my god. And Clay, to deal with that, he moved out. So we just swapped who was living in Clay's room. It was his mom and dad and not Clay anymore. And like, when one of your really good friends leaves, it's a downgrade.

And then when his mom and dad are now there, you're like, what the fuck happened, Clay? Were they OK with the partying and stuff? I mean, they had to be. Yeah, that's insane. It wasn't really an option. We weren't going to stop because they were there. But it was weird to be like, oh, yeah, that's Clay's parents.

They live here too. That's a premise. I love it. Just like someone moving out and their parents moving in. That's so wild. So Whitmer Thomas and Clay did write, I sold a pilot about it and so did they. So it was a premise.

It was a pretty good thing. Turns out not a full season, but a great premise. Okay, I wanna ask you just about, go on Mitch. I just, I have where it was. Big Pay, Big Pine? Big Pine Lakes. Yeah.

It was a big pain. Big Pine Lakes Trail is what we did. I know exactly that trail, that trail rocks and will kick your ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like just the entrance. It's steep. Yeah, the first entrance just to go up.

And then we were like kind of on like the level area, but then we had to go up again. Yeah, I think that's where Temple Crag is. That's like one of the most beautiful like lakes in California. Oh man, yeah. I didn like, I'm not gonna make it. Yeah, I think that's where Temple Crag is. That's like one of the most beautiful lakes in California. Oh man, yeah. I didn't make it to the lake, sadly. And someone has a house up, there's like an actor

or somebody who has a fucking little cottage or something halfway there. I was excited to see that, but I didn't make it. Yeah, that trail is good, but that trail is, I got, not being like even me, but I remember I fucked my knee up on that trail. Yeah, you're an outdoorsman. I was like, yeah, it's just like what I love doing.

Yeah, I did enjoy it. I just, I need to be better. For your first foray, it was maybe a little ambitious. It was a little ambitious. You guys start small. Ross. And I'll take, I will take you guys, we'll do an In the Field Doughboys episode.

Oh, I love it. Where we go to Joshua Tree. Joshua Tree's a perfect entrance. I love it. Because easy hikes around there. You climb up boulders. The sun sets insane. You take mushrooms.

Like, it's real mellow. It's so fun. And then, yeah. It's just Weiger coming out of a coming out covered in blood. Where's Brooks and Mitch? Don't worry about it. I had a, I've been to Joshua Tree again for Boy Scouts. Those are the only contexts,

the only context I visited Joshua Tree a couple of times. I did go rappelling there and rock climbing. Yeah, we don't need to do any of that. We'll just sit around a fire and hang out. Yeah, but I did also get lost. So I had an experience where I was like lost on a rock formation for like 40 minutes like by myself

I like it separated from my patrol. This is terrible Yeah, I was really and so I just standing at and I reached a point where I was just I just started I didn't know what to do because I didn't know where to go. I didn't know which like I didn't have a compass I didn't know what straight I wouldn't have it helped me anyway, because I didn't know where to fucking go So there was a point where I just like went out onto a little A little overlook and just started yelling out into a canyon help I'm lost my name is Nicholas and I just yelled that for like 15 minutes until a guy like a dude with a backpack, like sprinted over and was like,

Hey, Nicholas, like where's your, you know, who are you with? And I said, like, I went to the tube 29 or whatever. And then he went and got them and I got rescued, but it was like a whole lot of fun. That's not fun to be screaming help, I'm lost. Well, again, that's like, but we're talking about camping. These are my memories of going on camping trips.

Come on a little starter camping trip. Yeah. I saw this one one time. One of the funniest. This is an insane story I've never heard before. I think I may have told you this one before. Hey, Nicholas, stay there. Pull your pants up, though.

I was hiking in Hawaii at the Nepali Coast. It was an awesome trail. One of the most beautiful things I've ever done in my life. I'm Googling the actor who had a cabin on this lake. I'm trying to figure out who it is. I'm not being rude. Just to let you know. So it's like a hilly as fuck,

and there was this woman about a mile, it's like an out and back trail. There's a woman maybe a mile from the entrance. And she's old woman and she's laying down and There's like a park stranger. There's like ma'am. We got to help you get out of here and she's like call a helicopter I don't care call a helicopter. He's like we don't need to call a helicopter. Let's sit down. Let's have some water She's a call a helicopter call a helicopter call a doctor. He's like fuck it. We're calling the helicopters They call a helicopter come rescue her. She's a mile walk away

And I think that she thought she would get to just climb into the helicopter to come rescue her. She's a mile walk away. And I think that she thought she would get to just climb into the helicopter, but that's not what happens. They drop a gurney from the sky, and she realized, like, I don't want to do that. Yeah. And she was like, oh, I can walk. I can walk. And the dude's like, it's fucking here, lady.

And so they just, like, strapped her in while she's screaming and pulled her off into the sky. Oh my god. That's one of the most fascinating things I've ever witnessed. That rocks. Yeah. I was like, this is so funny. I would have loved to see little you fucking, the helicopter struggling to pull you, fucking

pick you up in the basket. What, cause it's a fat piece of shit? Yeah, you're a fat piece of shit. Yeah, it was. What do you want? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He was so heavy as a little kid, helicopter couldn't get up.

Helicopter couldn't lift him up. This is embarrassing. OK, I'd Bree, they get a refuel. I was going to say, Brooks, if you take us camping, I bet you will open up our tent on the first day, and Nick and I will be like mummified. I don't think we are. We're not.

What are you talking about? It's gonna be awesome. You have more experience with it than I do. I went camping just like a couple times when I was younger. I wonder how much of that knowledge would return. If I'm like, oh I still know how to tie a hotline hitch or whatever. You know what I mean? I don't know. I also don't know how useful any of that is. I camp with my best friend's guy, Carl Hess,

and he was like a little adventure guy. He remembers all that shit. Wow. But we'd get in a fight the other day, because, like, we were hanging out, and I was just like, we were biking over this place called the Donner Pass, and I was like, I'm fucking, I'm like, I'm so tired.

This is such a hard thing. And he was like, have some GORP. And I was like, what the fuck is GORP? And it's a term from you. Oh, yeah, yeah. From, like, Boy Scouts. It's like, it's GORP. And I was like, what the fuck is GORP? And it's a term from like Boy Scouts. It's like, it's trail mix is what it is. But he's like, it's good old raisins and peanuts. I go, do not call it GORP.

GORP, GORP. I did, I was annoyed by the term GORP. Yes, as a kid. I'm so shocked you don't use GORP. You're shocked that I don't say GORP regularly? It seems like a wigerism. It's trail mix. I can see that, yeah. It's trail mix. It sounds like an animated character. It regularly. It seems like a wigerism. It's trailmix.

It's trailmix. It sounds like an animated character. It does. It feels like it'd be an animated character's name, GORP. Now this I like. Like a little squirrel can be in your head. I like the animated GORP. You're just, you know, I was on my wit's end, and then Carl's like fucking calling it GORP,

and I just snapped on him. I go, you're 41. No, GORP does annoy me, but it is like one of those ones where it's like, oh, that's an acronym. I recently learned that GULAG is an acronym in Russian. Really? Yeah. What does it stand for?

It stands, this thing because it's Russian, so it's a different alphabet, so like the letters don't line up, but it's something like administrative state where, you know, like prison, it's like it's some sort of, some different thing, but it's just like the term GULAG, that's a, I don't know, all those letters stand for something. How about that? I had no idea. That is fun.

I thought it just meant prison. I thought it was Russian for like, bad prison, was basically what I thought it was, but. Yeah. It does make sense though, it makes total sense that they wouldn't be like, it would be this long administrative term for terrible prison.

Right. Okay, we've been talking about the outdoors. We have to talk about it from a food standpoint. Sure. I also found out it's Lon Chaney. Okay, Lon Chaney. In the 30s. Yeah, it's still standing, right?

It's there, it's fine. It's not as exciting as you think. He's not in there. You hope he's gonna be in there. Yeah. Lon Chaney, who was he? Was he a Dracula or a vamp? I only know Lon Chaney from the movie Jackass,

where Johnny Knoxville's being old and trying to steal. Remember this when he did the first old guy and the guy's yelling at him and Johnny Knoxville said, I was Lon Chaney's lover. Oh, right. And to me, I was like, what the fuck does that mean? And I looked up, I was like, oh, he's an old actor. He's an old actor.

But I thought- Actor and makeup artist. Was he a monster? Was he one of the monster, not the monsters, but it was- Lon Chaney was the Wolfman. I knew it, yes. Also the Phantom and the Phantom of the Opera. Wow, double monster.

Dude, double cool. Well, he's not a monster, Mitch. You missed the point of the movie. Monster Mitch is also, I like that too. Oh, the Phantom is not a, oh, come on, he's still a monster. He was also Quasimodo in the Hunchback. Oh, third monster. Mitch?

No. It's a monster trifecta. You gotta watch those movies and understand what they're trying to say. Yeah, I fucking chase them with a fucking torch. Fucking chase after fucking phantom and fucking Quasimodo. It's gotta hurt your feelings at some point if you're like, all right, I'll do Wolfman.

Okay, yeah, I'll also be disfigured Phantom guy. Quasimodo, what does this say about me? Rebooting basket case, you want to be that? Jesus Christ, I guess. I feel like I would chase Quasimodo with a torch and then I would also get chased in there and be fucking me and Quasimodo in the fucking chapel together. He turns around, he's got his own torch.

What the fuck, Quasi turned on me? Get him. They support Quasimodo over me? Yeah, they, like, Man in the Iron Masque, where you are now the bell tower thing, and Quasimodo hosts a pretty popular podcast. Fucking hell. Kind of Fritos, I don't know what he sounds like. There's no rule.

Is he French? He's probably French. He lives in Notre Dame. I think that's how they say it. All right, outdoors. What are you eating out there? I'm cooking good. I love making good food.

Yeah. Are you cooking, like, are you making, are we doing, talking about open fire? We're talking a camp stove? So it depends, it depends on, you know, California wildfires are pretty real. Yes. If we remember every day.

So if their fires are allowed, I love cooking over an open flame, but if they're not, I have a little camp stove propane. And I just have some cast iron stuff. We got a Dutch oven. Set up for success. I like taking- When I take my boys to the woods, we eat right.

I love it. So what do you- You're getting us more on board. Steaks, like- Oh boy. Yeah, steaks usually like, asparagus is real fun over a fire. Like steaks and over a fire.

Like steaks and veggies a lot. And then in the morning you'll just crush like sausage, bacon, like, and like you can, tortillas, a lot of breakfast, like breakfast burritos. Sure. Oh, that's great. Yeah. I do remember liking like camp oatmeal, like hot oats in the morning or hot cream of wheat

or something, some sort of hot breakfast. The best part about eating while you're camping is no matter what, it's like being on a plane and eating. Yeah. Whatever you have is like 10 times better than how it normally is. Oh, I'm outside. Like I made this here, like if somebody gave me

like a plane meal, like at a real restaurant, I'd fight them. You know, I'd be like, are you fucking kidding me? But on a plane, I'm like, this is crazy. This is so good. Yeah, same with camping. Are you? Do you ever do the classic Franks and beans sort of?

Love a hot dog. A hot dog over a fire, camping, cleanup. I like when you eat the plate. That's what a hot dog is. You're getting to eat the plate. Yeah, that is fun. Yeah. It's no mess.

So you're bringing meat in, you're bringing vegetables in. I mean, obviously you've got to be concerned about spoilage, but I guess it depends on how long the trip is. Well, I have a cooler if I'm car camping. Like, when I'm backpacking, then it is straight up just ramen. Right. I'm just eating ramen. I guess that's what I'm thinking of,

because I did do a lot of backpacking, again, in Boy Scouts. And so a lot of times it was like, you know, we're literally having powdered milk a lot of times it was like, you know, we're literally having powdered milk a lot of times, I just remember hating, having like warm milk that came from a box. Right. Were your fellow scouts, then they opened their bag like,

there's a bunch of horny manga in here. There's not, there's no camp supplies. He likes manga. Why does, why does, why does Weiger have Valkyrie Drive mermaid? Where did you can get that Well, what a great random pull

Do you are you do you worry about the big concern bears or if you you're in Big Pine, like the Wolf Man. Yeah, so recently I was on a trip. I was on a backpacking trip, bikepacking trip, with Carl Hess. And we had biked like 40 miles that day. And we were in like Eastern, like Northern California, above Truckee, at the Donner Pass, where the Donners ate each other. We were like right there.

Oh my god. It was pretty wild. Yeah, the Donner Party, you know thisners ate each other. We were like right there. Oh my God. Yeah, it was pretty wild. Yeah, the Donner party, you know this, the way they talk to cannibalism, yeah. Yeah. We would never do that. We were like so, I was so exhausted, and we like threw down our camp stuff,

and Carl's like, all right, we gotta like put this up in the tree for a bear. And I was like, do we have to? And he was like, this is where, the campground's called Bear Valley. Yeah, it's the name of it. It's probably because it's bear. And I was like, all right, all right.

So yeah, he threw it up in a tree and he put that up there. But also one time- Do they still come to that or no? I don't know. I haven't- You haven't experienced it in the bear, which is great. One time I was camping alone in Wyoming and realized that I didn't know. I haven't. You haven't experienced it in the bear, which is great. One time I was camping alone in Wyoming

and realized that I didn't have any bear spray and then I got a nosebleed. And I was like, oh, this is a bad combo. Oh my God. So that was from the elevation? Yeah, I've been like camping alone for a while. Anytime I get real stressed, I'll go camp alone and it like helps.

Jeez, that scares the hell out of me. Do you bring a sat phone or anything like that or no? I mean, I have a phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know. Did you see the movie Good Time? It came out last year as a very small indie release, but it's just all about-

Not the Safdie Brothers movie. No, no, no, no, no. Do they call it Good Time? It's not called Good Time. It's called Good One. Sorry. No, it sounds good though. Good One. I think as a hiker, because all it is,

is it's a teenage girl and her dad and the dad's friend, and they just go on a hike. And it's just as slice of lifey as it sounds. And I'm watching this thing and I'm just loving it, because it's just sort of like you're walking around nature and having real human conversations. But there is a moment in that movie, which is really, really effective,

which they reach this overlook and they're looking at this beautiful lake and they're like, wow, look at that. And then one of them's like, oh, I get cell service here. And they all just start checking their phones. And it's just like, wow, yeah, that's the thing of just you're so, you're removed from that side of things. But then when the opportunity returns,

you're instinctively gonna be like, well, this is the thing that demands my attention. Well, and that's what's happening with the Grand Canyon trip. Now I think they have Skylink works down there, just recently. So we were all on this trip and our phones didn't work and they couldn't do anything.

We're like, oh, what if we implemented a rule that you can't use them next time with Starlink? We're like, the rule doesn't work. You know it's gonna be there. We're not gonna be jerks being like, go, go, you know, like, you're gonna go in your tent, you're gonna look up shit. It's like, yeah, I think we all will have

cell service forever now and that sucks. Yeah, it's a bummer. Yeah, it's a bummer. Do you ever see the movie The Bear? The, wait, oh, this is the- Japanese movie, I think, originally, right? And it's like a little bear cub. It's very sad. The mother bear gets killed by hunters,

and then it's about the baby bear, and it eats mushrooms at one point, and it trips in the movie. Do you not know of this movie? I know this movie. Did you watch this in fourth grade? Yeah, I watched it way too young. But no, I'm aware of this movie.

I know its reputation. That's also how I feel like they showed us that movie and Milo and Otis at the same time. I'm aware of this movie, I know its reputation. Also how, I feel like they showed us that movie and Milo and Otis at the same time. And another movie where I think animals maybe were hurt. They killed like 11 dogs on Milo. There was like 17 Otis's. Yeah, there was a lot.

That was in the 60's when they were just like, just fucking let it, put it in a basket, we'll shoot it, going over the waterfall, it'll be fine. Yes, that is. That's insane. I think like the, it'll be fine. Yes, that is insane. I think like the, cause this is another Japanese movie, I think that like, you know, the Japan film department or whatever is like,

they were all fine, nothing bad happened. You're like, I think it's impossible that everything was fine. But the bear, I think, I don't know if the bear has as much stuff, but there is like a full animated tripping, the bear eats magic mushrooms and fully trips during it. And I was watching it in like fourth grade and being like, what is, I don't understand

what is happening in this movie. But this brings me to my question. What would be the scariest thing to see in the woods, Wile X? OK. A bear? Mm-hmm. Pretty scary. Wolfman?

Mm-hmm. Quasimodo? Mm-hmm. Or Phantom of the Opera? I'm surprised you didn't throw in like a Sasquatch, because I feel like you. You say that on purpose? No.

Did you say it that way on purpose? What happened? Say it again. Sassquatch. I've never, that's not what it's called. I would not be, I would not be. Mad at it. I am.

I'm very mad at them. Linguistics is descriptive, not prescriptive. People can say things different ways. Oh, for sure. I would not be afraid of a sass scratch You're not describing any existing cryptids right sure so like like I for me I think like yeah a skunk ape a chupacabra I would be most scared of l chupacabra cuz that's the most scared of l chupacabra things fucking scary

I'm most scared of El Chupacabra. You'd be the most scared of El Chupacabra? That thing's fucking scary. I'm most scared of a person, because those things live in the woods, but if you run into Quasimodo, you're like, he up to no good. No, that's true. Those things might just be chilling,

but he's doing bad stuff. He's not supposed to be there. Could be a crazy deliverance person, could be some rich guy who's gonna hunt you for sport. There's things you have, like yes, you're right. The man is the most dangerous. I'd rather see Quasimodo than Phantom. Phantom's wearing a mask.

You know what I mean? I'd be wondering what's that masked guy doing in the woods? I, yeah. With an opera cap, what the hell's going on? The most scared I ever have been camping. I was camping alone in Northern California and it was deep Bureau of Land Management land. Nobody's around me, like miles from people.

And somebody just in the middle of the night, like walked up on my site. Like, and I was like, I didn't have, I had like a knife and that was it. And like, I think that in my head what happened, cause like, I just heard this guy like walking and then I was like, yo, hey, and then he stopped. And I was like, and then I was in my tent,

and I'm afraid, and I think I scared him, so I think we parted ways, but there was like three hours where I was like, is that guy gonna fucking kill me? Like it was pretty, pretty, that was a, so running into a person is not fun in the woods. No, that's horrifying. Did he not yell anything back? Didn't say shit.

I don't know what he was up to. We were not close to anything and just never heard him again. And I was like, I'm going to leave him as soon as the light is out. That's wild. Yeah, I had my mallet in my tent. I didn't like, so I was just like holding on to this mallet being like, this fucker comes in my tent.

I guess I got to fight him with a mallet. Like, that was unfun, I will say. That's very like a, you know, primeval or like, it's going back to like, yeah, when you're out in the woods, that's, I guess, the way it was back in the, you know, back in the. You don't want to run into people in the woods. Yeah.

Meanwhile, that guy is guesting on another podcast telling his version of the story. Exactly. He's like, I'm just on a hike and this dude's screaming at me. I'm like, so I'm just. He's clearly got a mallet. Yeah.

Yeah. Dude. Exactly what's happening. This dude's screaming at me. I'm like, so I'm she's clearly got a mallet Okay, I I do want to talk about a place that you both were talking about before we began recording which is quarter sheets Pivoting away from the outdoors to here in the city. I'm very happy you're talking about this your favorite Grievances. Yes. Oh, yeah, you haven't aired enough grievances yet today, Mitch. My favorite restaurant in Los Angeles right now. Same, my favorite restaurant in Los Angeles. I had Evan Susser, Joe Saunders, and David Phillips, and I were gonna get dinner there. Yes.

Which if you don't know about Quarter Sheets, it's hard to get in. It's hard to get in, it is. It's really difficult, genuinely hard to get a reservation at this 35 seat pizza restaurant. 100%. And I'm friendly with the owner, Aaron, and I messaged him and I was like,

hey, is it possible to get this time? And then there was kind of a miscommunication that went on, but I said to him, I was like, oh, I don't think we can get, I don't know if we can get seats there, but David Phillips was going to the Lakers game, and he's like, I can't do that night anyways. And I was like, okay, I don't think it matters

because I don't think we can get seats there. And then I got a confirmation that we could get seats there, but he's going to the fucking Lakers game and he's like, I can't do that night anyways. And I was like, okay, I don't think it matters because I don't think we can get seats there. And then I got a confirmation that we could get seats there but he's going to the fucking Lakers game. So I had to cancel the whole thing. I was stressed out about it because someone's doing you a favor to sit down there. Yeah, sure. And the fucking Lakers ruined fucking everything.

But you didn't go back to him and give the heads up, actually we don't need this? Of course I did. That's what I was doing today. Okay, but he got back to you before you could reply to him? Yeah, yes, yes. He got back to me before it, because I didn't think it was going to happen.

Have you eaten at Quarter Sheets? No, not yet. It is the only time in my whole life where I ate at a place and was like, I fucking get the line. Yes, yeah. This pizza is different. I gotta go.

It's great. It's so good. Let's go for a court somebody. I should have, we could have gone tonight. I gotta go. It's great. It's so good. Let's go to the court some day. I should've, I should've, we could've gone tonight. I can't go tonight. You're going to the fucking Lakers game. The fucking Lakers game is ruined fucking everything. That's what you get for being friends

with all of the Lakers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is what happens, they don't go to their work. He wishes. That would be a fun,

I mean, I mean that would be awesome. I wish. What do you mean he wishes he was on the Lakers? Who wouldn't? Having a friend in the NBA would be, that would be great. That would be cool. Yeah. We could get an NBA player on the show at some point. You should, I don't understand

why you canceled the reservation. You could have like, you have other friends. It was for four and I can't. I'm gonna quarter sheets. I'm gonna quarter sheets. I would have asked you to go. I just, it was all today. And so I canceled it last night and I just didn't think.

But this was for tonight. And your party again was, it was you, the deli boys, David Phillips and Evan Suss of the commissioner and then Joe Saunders. Yeah. You would have, you probably would have needed more than four seats, me, Suss. And then the other two guys.

There's Saunders guys. Yeah. Maybe Cherisee. No, I was going to say, do you know I'm going to the Lakers game tonight with Joe Saunders? Yes. So that's another guy in the fight. know I'm going to the Lakers game tonight with Joe Saunders? Yes. So that's another guy in the fight. You reveal that to me now too.

Yeah. But when you ask for a favor for something, then you feel like such a piece of shit when it doesn't... I get it. I've done this before, but I went alone. I made a reservation, I didn't make a reservation,

asked for tickets to go to the New York Rangers game Wow. through Saturday Night Live. And I asked Kenan Thompson, who is one of the coolest guys in the world, I was like, Kenan, do you wanna go to the Rangers game with me? And he's like, yeah, that sounds really fun.

And so I was riding my bike to Madison Square Garden, like asked for these tickets, the great tickets, like amazing, you know? And Kenan texted me, he and my wife's sick, I'm really, really sorry, I can't make it. And I was like, ooh, and it was too close to like find somebody new to go with. So I was like, I'll just go really sorry, I can't make it. And I was like, ooh, and it was too close to find somebody new to go with. So I was like, I'll just go alone.

You can do things alone. Of course. I was like, you know what, I'll take myself to the Rangers game. And I was just sitting there, and I'm having fun, I'm eating a hot dog, and game rules. And I'm like, this is really nice. And the guy came over, the New York Rangers crew,

the camera people or whatever, came over to be like, hey, somebody had a clipboard. They're like, so it's you, are you Brooks? I was like, yes. And he's like, and then it says Keenan Thompson's with you. I go, oh yeah, he had to, he's not. It's just me. So they had the camera to do the Jumbotron.

I was like, so we don't need to do the Jumbotron, you know, cause the famous guy's not here. Right. And they were like, no, because the famous guy's not here. Right. And they were like, no, no, no, no, no. We did a package for both of you guys. I was like, OK. And so they like show. They're like, look who's in the crowd or whatever.

It's like, I don't fucking know. Reese Witherspoon's over there or some shit. And everyone's like, oh, fuck yeah, Reese Witherspoon. And they show a Reese Witherspoon movie. And then they show, but then it comes to me and Keenan, who's not there, they're like, all right. And then before they showed us,

they showed Keenan Thompson doing the knuckle puck from The Mighty Ducks. So clearly we're about to see Keenan Thompson. That's a lot of hype already. And then Keenan Thompson being super duper duper funny on an SNL sketch where I brought him like a lunch where I was like, here you are, sir. So clearly this is definitely not just gonna be

the guy who brought the lunch alone without Kenan. And it was just boom, Brooks baby. A disappointed Madison Square Garden. Everyone was like, not that one. Why would you show Keenan doing the knuckle puck? And yeah, and then the next day, Keenan was like, how was the game? I was like, it was fucking awful, dude. It sucked.

Don't go by yourself. You'd be so embarrassed. Mr. Mike Hanford, Bo Hanford, Mike Hanford's dad, if a sketch, if he was watching SNL and a sketch wasn't, like it was a sketch that wasn't doing well, he would always go, bring out Keenan, that's what he used to do. That's what you do when you're writing it.

If you're out of an idea, you're like, Keenan enters. He'll figure this out. I made Bo sound, I made Bo Han Bo sound like Trump, I realize. It does not sound like Trump. But you should have gone to quarter sheets. I'd love to go. I've told them that yesterday. I should have been because I can walk there from my house, but I have not been yet.

Amelia, you have been? Yeah, it rules. And that's in Italian speaking. I have something to say on that second. Well, here's how I Say about her being Italian I do want to throw the Yeah

Just for now. I feel bad with what I'm gonna say But this is just for the doughboys listeners Yeah, you listen to cool podcast You should know that the secret because I live right next to quarter sheets, too You go when it opens at 5 you put your name in and they just kind of hang out around there And you go like at like 630. Yeah, you go around the corner. There's a bar right around the corner What's the what's what's the bar on that? they used to

And now go on with your racism I Came in this morning. I was like, Hey, how you doing? I was just like doing Italian voice and uh, and which I guess is not great, but, uh, but Amelia was like, uh, was like, Hey, I mean, it was like, Hey, how you doing? She started giving it back to me and then she goes, you know, it's pies on week, May 8th to 11th is pies on a week. Oh, May 8th to 11th is Paisano Week. What the fuck is Paisano Week? Don't worry, we'll all be together on tour around Paisano Week.

Wait, this is an easy, real thing. What is Paisano Week? I don't know, my sister sent me something that said Paisano Week is May 8th to 11th in New Jersey. Oh, Paisancon 2025 is coming to Rutherford, New Jersey, May 9th, 2011. Your sister shares with you PaisanCon texts? Wait, there's an Italian conference? Yes. Like, what is a con for Italians?

Will you go to paisancon.com and just, like, tell me what it says it is? It says it's a celebration of Italian heritage, pop culture, food, and so much more. OK. Spaghetti emoji. Wow. It'll feature a wide array of celebrity guests. So much more spaghetti emoji.

Yeah, so anyway, you guys should go. That'll be great. Paisan Con will also be a celebration of Italian heritage and also a January 6th reunion. Paisan, I was gonna say Paisan week was the week Trump got elected. November 5th or whatever the fuck it was. What is it, November 5th?

Fifth, this year? It doesn't, it changes. It's the first week of November. It changes. It changes. Remember when you found out Easter changes and you're like, what? Yes. Really?

But it was when he died. Yeah, it's not a Christmas. We're just picking and choosing? Right. This religion thing, well, there's some holes in it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha For me, it's like the bread, it's the best bite of food I've ever had. Wow. I'm not even joking. We're just talking about this place I recently ate there

and it was just like, it did blow my socks off. What's the style of pizza again? It's kind of Detroit, no, it's not even Detroit style. It's Sicilian-ish, but they'll do bar pizzas, they do a lot of different pizzas there. Okay, so we're kind of like- It's like a thick square slice. Yes.

That's their default slice. Truly, when you take a bite, it just hits. Like, it just, the crust is perfect. So it's not necessarily like they're innovating. It's just like an incredible level of craft. No, you just get like, yeah, you're just like getting pepperoni pizza. Right.

It's a bit of a gourmet flair to it. Sure. Yes, that's my thing is like, it's like, you remember, what was the Jewish jelly right here that was like kind of, it's now Greek. It's like, you remember, what's the Jewish deli right here that was like kind of, it's now Greek-mins, but it was, was it? Wasn't Friedman's? Friedman's, it was Friedman's, yes. Friedman's is an elevated deli food, and that's, quarter

sheets to me is like just an elevated slice, and they do, like they have like a cheese slice and they have like a burrata slice, and then they'll always do a different thing. It will be like, hey, it's kind of Thai-inspired or what. And it's always fucking good. Wednesdays is, you know, like, Wednesday is bar pie night, which is my favorite type of pizza.

But yeah, then they're always trying new shit, and the dessert is also, like, next level. Yes, yes, it's a husband and wife team that own and run the restaurant, and Aaron's wife is, she makes all the desserts. Dude, I geeked out when I met him because I was there with my friend who knew him, and he introduced me to him,

and I straight up turned into like a 2020 interview, and I was like, what called you to pizza? Like, he was like, I just, I don't know, and I was like, yeah, that's a terrible question. What the fuck am I talking about? No, I think that's a great question. I was like, how'd you do it, man? Yeah, I mean, it's really, really damn good.

Well, you have to go. I'll 100% go, Brooks, but you, like, lived in New York, so, like, you've had some great slices. Right, so my favorite New York slice is called, like, La Tension. Okay. It's in Williamsburg, and that is, like, the quarter sheets of New York slice is called like, Latention. It's in Williamsburg. And that is like the quarter sheets of New York for me. But like, I would just like pizza. I think pizza's just like my favorite thing.

And so I'm just always like, is there levels to pizza? I'm like, not really, they're all pretty. To me, it's like either bad or pretty good. And I love it. And this is like the first time like, Latention and then like, Lindustry, sorry, Lindustry in Williamsburg is the one I love there. Then I took a bite of that. I was like, oh, this is like the first time, like, La Tensione and then like, La Industry, La Industry, sorry, La Industry in Williamsburg is the one I love there. Then I took a bite of that.

I was like, oh, this is different. And the quarter sheets is that for me in Los Angeles. As someone from Iowa and as a pizza fan, did you ever find yourself at a pizza ranch? Oh, fuck yeah. I mean- Tell people about pizza ranch because my understanding, I've never been-

We were supposed to do it in one place. We were supposed to cover it, but it was like the closest one was in rural Colorado. So it was a tough thing. So you go to Pizza Ranch for the chicken. Yeah, okay. That is the truth. Small town in Iowa, we got a Pizza Ranch.

It's literally the best chicken I've ever had in my life. You just go there, it's a buffet, but you just house that fucking chicken meat. So this is kinda akin to a Shakey's and they've got like pizza and fried chicken? Yes, yeah. But like I've never fucked with like Pizza Ranch pizza, but I love Pizza Ranch chicken a lot.

It's like a post church, you go to Pizza Ranch, and then like, you know what? I had this joke the other day that is drawn from the Pizza Ranch. I would never have anybody get me a slice of pizza from the buffet. You go into the buffet, that's a you job. You care the most.

Yes, for sure. You're seeing what's new, what's fresh. You want a piece of pizza and I go up there, I'm like, yeah, that one's fine, you know? But if like it's me, joke didn't work. But it was like, it didn't work because it's stupid, but I was like, it's like wiping your own ass. Like you're the only man for this job.

Other than somebody can try, it's not gonna be great. No, yes. But and it was straight up written from Pizza Ranch. I was thinking about my brother, like you don't go, you get the best piece of chicken. It's you wait for the fresh stuff to come out. It's a fucking, when they dropped that new hot chicken at a pizza ranch in 2001, goddamn stampede to get up there.

Wow. People are eyeing the buffet, they're waiting for that new chicken to come out. Why did we not go? Was it pandemic? No, we were going to go for, what the fuck was our stupid ass religious month? Oh yes, October blessed.

Yeah, October blessed, because it does have. We went to the Scientology brunch instead. That's true. Oh, yes. October blessed. Yeah, October blessed. Because it does have. We went to the Scientology brunch instead. That's true. That's true. Much closer. My understanding is that it's just a wild throw away. My understanding is that it's because it's cowboy themed, but it also is like Christian, right, to some degree?

Or kind of like, critically Christian, like in and out burger? Maybe, but not. critically Christian, like In-N-Out Burger? Maybe, but not, I mean, it's franchised. I remember a new kid moved to town. His dad ran the pizza ranch, so we were all cool to him. Because we were like, yeah, that guy started running the pizza ranch. Yeah, and the guy ruled.

So I don't know if it was Christian. Could be, but it's so, I think it's also bad now. We were talking about how everything is kind of falling off. Oh, 100%, yes. I mean, the closest one is Denver is the other issue. Is that what you said? It was like rural Colorado.

Yeah, it was like outside Denver. Well, we don't want to take you to fucking rural Cara. You're fucking trench coat ass in fucking rural Colorado. I have a chain restaurant. Dramatic for them, sorry. Well, I have a chain restaurant theory that I feel, cause like whenever I like am homesick, I'll go to Buffalo Wild Wings.

Yeah. And I was in New York city, I went to the Buffalo Wild Wings at Atlantic terminal. And it was one of the worst experiences of my life. It was just bad. They don't care. But like in small towns that like Buffalo Wild Wings is their best restaurant, they fucking crush it.

100. So you have to go to a pizza ranch in like a small town that they take pride in it. You can't go to like a Denver pizza ranch. Yes. You gotta go to like a fucking to a pizza ranch in a small town that they take pride in. You can't go to a Denver pizza ranch. You gotta go to a fucking Topeka pizza ranch. You gotta really get in there. Brooks, this is a great theory, and like we were saying, everything has gotten bad,

which will lead us into today's episode, a thing that we've talked about before, but it's the Glendale test for me. Everything in Glendale, every fast food chain in Glendale is gonna be a better version than what is in LA proper, I guess. Yeah, but expanding on your theory, it's just far enough outside of LA where it starts to become like, oh yeah, we're gonna go to the Red Robin.

We're gonna go to the BJs. We're gonna go to the IHOP because it's our best option. Because also there's no fucking quarter sheets there. Yes, right, yeah. There's better restaurants here. Yes. So those ones, nobody wants to, the new Buffalo Wild Wings in Chinatown

is pretty good though. Oh, wow. I was saying that, yeah, that's a new tip for everybody. Because we've been to the one, I mean, we've been to a number of them. The Burbank one is good. The Burbank one's not bad.

The one in Hollywood Boulevard is kind of a nightmare. No, it's a nightmare. I took, I, when, I took took my move when I was on a dating app a while ago, it was to be like, you want to go to the Buffalo Wild Wings on Hollywood Boulevard? And it's a fun date spot. Yeah, that's fun. I like that.

You're also just like, are you a fun person? Do you want to go ahead and do a fun thing? Yeah, chicken wings and beer, that's a fun time. At the dumbest place we can think of. Yeah, I love it. I think it's a great idea. I don't remember there was a time. It was you and me and Jordan Morris and a few people, and we were at the Buffalo Wild Wings.

And then afterwards, Jordan Morris, just me and Jordan kept hanging out, and Jordan was like, other people had to take off, and Jordan was like, do you want to just go to like one of these really shitty like Hollywood Boulevard, the most touristy stretch of Los Angeles, do you want to go to like a really shitty bar that's like, you know, whatever?

The Beetlejuice Bar is there. Exactly. So we just walked into like one of these shitty bars and we sat down and before we ordered drinks, a guy came over to us and offered us coke. Holy hell. Holy hell. That's service.

Yes, yes. Did anyone buy it? Well, certainly not me. I would not do that. Did the story end there? Also, we said the B word once, just a warning. So don't do it too many times. Certainly not me, I would not do that. Did the story end there? Ha ha ha ha. Also, we said the B word once, just a warning, so don't do it two more times.

We won't say it two subsequent times. We can't say it two more times. I now am defensive of I like those bars on Hollywood. There are some great classic bars on Hollywood Boulevard, but it's that sort of thing of with everything that's gone to shit, everything has gotten worse. What made us think that everything had gone to shit? Because we were talking about- We were talking about fucking Wendy's.

Yeah, the general degradation of everything. I mean, Subway in the fucking 90s was one of the, it was awesome. It's interesting that you bring that up because we just revisited Subway last week with our friend Tony Charley Ramos. And yeah, that was a pretty dire experience, I would say. And it was fucking incredible.

Before Jared did all this stuff, we was just losing weight. Yeah, that's all he was doing, was just losing weight at that point. I remember a tuna sub in Lakewood, California in like 1997 was like a completely different caliber of sandwich from what you would get now. I also, so I want to ask you guys this.

I have, I have a theory that crab sandwich, crab salad sandwich people are the most persecuted people in the world. Wow. I love the seafood sensation from Subway. Wow. It was discontinued and there's Facebook groups about it. Bring it back.

We want it back. And I just, crab salad sandwiches, it got taken off the Bay City subs menu. Like what are we fucking, what did we do to deserve this? It's just, things have gotten worse and it's just a cost cutting measure now. It's like a niche items like, I mean, Subway doesn't have Swiss cheese anymore.

We were just talking about this the other day. It's like Swiss cheese is gone. So crab salad is just not going to make the cut anymore. Just so sad. It's the, I've heard the phenomenons describe both as hyper optimization and aesthetic convergence where they're just sort of looking at, it's like how every midsize SUV looks the exact same now

because they've just sort of done enough research and enough analytics exists where they can say like the most optimized way to present this product is to do this. And a lot of times that involves a lot of streamlining, which removes things that are, you know, people's favorites, people's reasons they go there. Like, like, like you might go there for the crab salad sandwich, but they've done a calculation that by not having crab salad, it's we will actually will make more money. Can I go pee? Yes.

Yeah. Thank you. I could go pee? Yes. Yeah. Thank you. I could white knuckle this. No, no, no, please. You can't run out of the, you can't leave the studio though. Yeah, it's locked, we're locked in. This show is sponsored by Liquid Ivy. Mitch, I don't know about you,

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This week we're returning to Wendy's, which was founded in 1969 in Columbus, Ohio by Dave Thomas of course. The fifth largest chain restaurant in America has over 7,000 locations's, which was founded in 1969 in Columbus, Ohio, by Dave Thomas, of course. The fifth largest chain restaurant in America has over 7,000 locations worldwide, which places it somewhere in the top 20 globally. It's hard to get an exact beat on it. Mitch, this is our fourth canonical review of Wendy's. Only the fourth.

That's actually surprising. I am a little surprised. We've talked about it a bunch, though, because it's been a mainstay of the Tournament of Champions over the year, including this most recent one, over the years. It is currently in the Golden Plate Club, based off of our episode with Jacob Wysocki.

However, it previously was kicked out, Mitch, because of the Sloppy Boys' Mike Hanford, who gave it one fork. Ugh, you know what? I wish on the podcast we could bring out Keenan. Bring out Keenan, he would fucking, when Wags and I are bombing, like most of the time. Most recently, the Cinderella story

of this year's Munch Madness 10, where it defeated Jersey Mike's Taco Bell and In-N-Out Burger on its way to winning the namesake Dave Thomas Cup. Jemmy wouldn't come back in the studio. She hates the podcast so much. She doesn't like the blanket. That's the whole issue.

That's her car blanket. Come here, get on your car blanket. Come on. Maybe I was like, go ahead, good girl. Wow. I got a couple things to say. I want to give a shout out to, we were talking about quarter sheets, Aaron's wife, Hannah, who is a co-owner and runs a restaurant with him.

She makes desserts. She makes all the desserts, which are fantastic. There's a princess cake. The pizza chef. And this is another part of why it's like an elevator restaurant. The pizza's so elevated and great, and then the desserts are fantastic. So why?

You say princess cake? It's called princess cake, yeah. It's gonna make me think of the end of Super Mario 64. It does, sadly, there won't be a small Mario and princess on it. I don't know if that's a deal breaker for you. There won't be a JPEG of a cake. There won't be a JPEG of a cake. There won't be a JPEG of a cake. You get it at the end of Mario 64.

What a great. It's awesome. Mario 64 maybe is my favorite. Is it your favorite game or your favorite Mario? Maybe my favorite video game of all time. Great choice. I think truly could be my favorite video game of all time. Yeah, it's so good.

And then, I mean, like, I would love a remaster of it. I think that would be great. But Odyssey was the thing where I was like, I'm an adult and the joy I get from, do you ever play Super Mario Odyssey? No, I didn't. I know that I'm a 42-year-old man telling you this. Was it the GameCube one?

Odyssey is on the Switch. Odyssey is on the Switch, yeah. Okay, I never had a Switch. So Switch 2 is coming out, Switch prices will drop. And it'll be backwards compatible. Or if you want a Switch 2, it'll be backwards compatible. I don't like having, I like video games so much that I don't have a console.

Totally understand that. I 100% get that. Honestly, this was, we actually, I just mentioned Jacob Isaki, same thing. Just get so addicted to video games that it's just like, I can't have this. I have, I barely, I played Astrobot this year and that's it. I have not played another video game.

Wait, Astrobot was a last year game. Last year, I haven't played a single video game this year. Mitch, that's wild. I know. You're missing out on Blueprints. I know. I've heard all about it. You and Zach Cherry, I believe, talked about it.

I'm going to play games this year. It's going to happen. But Mario Odyssey brings that joy of playing Super Mario 64. And it is, look, you're going to have a couple weeks packed with, but Mario games also, I'm not like up till four in the morning playing them like some other games. Zelda, Zelda, I was like, you know, like I'm...

This has to be done. Zelda will fuck you up bad. But do yourself a favor and play it at some point. It is one of the greatest of all time. Of course. I will also say 3D World also gives the same sort of experience. Not in the same way, but it because a little bit more linear I love it, but Odyssey feels more like Mario 64 3d world is great

I love it, but Odyssey is one of the greatest games of all time I think personally but do I like world more than Odyssey that is a wild fucking take I don't know so mad at you if so you're gonna get mad at me for that take? I love both of them. This is why I'm gonna get mad at you. I love both of them, but you're being a fucking idiot. Odyssey is the much better... If someone was gonna say, like, my favorite Mario is Super Mario Galaxy, I'd be like, you know what?

That's a great choice. God bless you. Just think of the... That's fine. That is a bad choice, but think of the ending of... If someone was saying Super Mario World was their favorite Mario, that'd be a great choice. Now we're talking.

Super Mario World is good. Super Mario World is awesome. Super Mario World is great. You know what? Super Mario World might be my favorite Mario. That'd be a great choice. Now we're talking. Super Mario World's good. Super Mario World's awesome. Super Mario World is great. You know what, Super Mario World might be my favorite Mario. I might go as far as to say this. I mean, Yoshi. Yoshi's great.

It's really fun to ride Yoshi. Man, I love Yoshi. The intro of Yoshi, honestly, even if someone said Super Mario World to Yoshi's Island, Hey, great game. I would still say, I mean, it's a look, I don't know if I'd count it as a Mario game specifically,

but it is very close. Yeah, it's tricky,, I don't know if I'd count it as a Mario game specifically, but it is very close. Yeah, it's tricky, because it's kind of the birth of the Yoshi franchise, but it also is canonically Super Mario World 2, Cole and Yoshi's Island. Brooks is sad that he didn't leave when he went. No, no, no. We took a bathroom break.

I think Mario 64, for me personally, the reason, I think that's my favorite video game of all time, is it was a time and a place, it was like Nintendo 64's, like, you know, new. I got this game. I remember sitting there and, like, looking up from Mario where you could look up, and then you saw the, like, light from the sun. Oh, yeah.

And I was, like, straight up, I was in, like, fucking fourth grade. I was like, it'll never be more real than this. I mean, like, truly was blown the fuck away. And then that's a portal into another level. It's a magical game. It's a great, great game. And if you can play Odyssey, it's great. That's also why I feel like I'll never see a better

movie than Gladiator. I was in seventh grade, perfect fucking time to see that movie. So it's just like, there'll never be a better movie than Gladiator. Did you like Gladiator 2? I put it on into the airplane literally on Wednesday, and I turned it off, because it was like, I hate it though.

It's fun, but it's not as prestigious, I guess. It's honestly a movie that should have instead of the two, a subtitle. Like it was like Gladiator, like Birth of a Legend or something like that. It'd be like kind of like give it a little bit more grace, but trying to say like, this is the second Gladiator, like man, this is a three out of five,

sequel to a five out of five. Right, well it's like also I heard that Russell Crowe wanted to be in Gladiator 2. Made me be like, no, no, no. It's like, how would you explain that? Like, yeah, I died and I had just been eating and having a lot. They get like just his arm is in it. It's like a really weird way, word usage of it.

You can't, he's dead, he looks nothing like that. It wouldn't make any sense, but I do think Gladiator 2 was still fun. And it's still, it's like Ridley Scott knows how to make I mean, I like Ridley Scott, I love Napoleon. I love Napoleon. I loved Napoleon. Napoleon's a blast. And like, I don't, I just, yeah, I just put it on Gladiator

and I was like, it's just, it just made me miss, I was like, I should just be watching Gladiator. Casey, where do you stand on Gladiator 2, Gladiator and Napoleon? I miss Gladiator 2, Gladiator, and Napoleon? I miss Gladiator 2, Gladiator 1. Way more fun. Like I remember being like, my memory of it is like, oh, like a boring historical thing,

but it's like action packed. It's so good. Really fun. And Napoleon, I had a great time. I thought everyone was having, it seemed like everyone was having a real fun time making Napoleon. Did anyone watch that? It's like a comedy. It's very funny.

Did anyone watch that four and a half hour cut they put on Apple TV? Because I loved it and I never actually watched the big boy cut. I think that that's maybe the only way that movie would fucking really work because like, what worked about the Bob Dylan movie, I loved the Bob Dylan movie.

I genuinely loved it. What worked is there was a small part of Dylan's life. It was like a three year span. We could do a movie about that. We could do a movie about his whole life that's gonna be too smashy. They tried to do a movie about Napoleon's whole fucking life. He did a lot of shit.

That's a lot of stuff to try to get in there. So it just felt like too fast paced for me. Whereas they just picked like, hey, here's when he like left Elba and came back or whatever, got off whatever island he was. His return would be bad. I don't know. fast-paced for me, whereas they just picked like, hey, here's when he like left Elba and came back or whatever, got off whatever island he was, his return would be bad. I don't know.

I just really like history and I thought that that movie tried to do too much. It was too expansive. I still liked it, but yeah, it's basically a Wikipedia biopic. It's like age 22 through his death. It covers such a huge swath of- And they were like, and he's a little horny guy.

He's a little horny guy. He's, I kind of classify him with the universal like, and he's a little horny guy. He's a little horny guy. He's kind of classi- I classify him with the universal monsters. Wolfman, Napoleon, Quasimodo. He did crazy, Napoleon did crazy shit. He did nutso stuff. The fact that we don't talk about the guy all the time is nuts.

Who was our friend? He's like a little snorting. Like in the movie, he's like, he's like a little pig. He's like a little horny pig man. He's, like in the movie he's like, he's like a little pig, he's like, he's like a little horny pig man. He's great. Who is our friend Mitch, we're texting, who said Napoleon wasn't much of a hat guy? Was that Susser?

Oh my God, yeah. I think it might have been Susser. I think it might have been fucking Susser. It was an insane take. I was like, he's one of our top hat guys. He is, he is a huge hat guy. One of history's biggest hat guys. I mean, also, okay, this is,

you know how you were uncomfortable earlier? What I'm about to say is I'm treading on so much uncomfortability. So just know, like if Hitler wasn't awful, yes, like if he didn't do Hitler stuff, Right. Okay, all right. Pretty impressive.

Zah, dah, like, almost took over the world. Take away the Hitler stuff. Yes, yeah. Almost took over the world. That's crazy. Yeah, I mean, Napoleon was a hit. The Hitler stuff, I'm gonna say, Hitler stuff? Pretty bad, yeah.

So bad. Pretty bad ding. So bad. Sure, yes, not sure, God damn. But like, Napoleon was Hitler without doing Hitler stuff. I'm sure he God damn. But worse. But like, Napoleon did, Napoleon was Hitler without doing Hitler stuff. I'm sure he's not a good guy. Yeah.

But he wasn't doing, he wasn't, I'm sure he was racist too, but like. Certainly. He wasn't doing Hitler stuff. So like, we get to like, see a movie about Napoleon and be like, that's kind of funny. But like, why did Hitler got to do all the bad stuff? Because he'd be pretty, probably pretty funny guy.

There is something I'm interested in. As a history buff, as you are, there is an interesting. My face got hot. You're doing great. There is an interesting, I am fascinated by just conquest. I feel like there's almost an era where it's like, well, there's nothing left to do, so let's just go conquer more territory.

Or like, ruling is so boring that let me just take my army and try to expand how much land I have. I think about this too, yeah, it's like, I live in California, I don't need to own Wyoming. What are they doing? Right, why do they need to do that? Just let them have it. I have the quote here, sorry.

I've looked up this quote, it's insane. It's actually more insane than you would think it is. But I agree. Hitler, it was bad. To be clear, David Phillips said Churchill was a bigger hat guy than Napoleon. This was Phillips. This is, and this is, I'm quoting you here.

This is a text that you sent to Blank Doe. Okay, hold on. Now, so now I gotta find my own, cause this was probably in a different group text. And Griff says demented and incorrect and you say thank you, but yes. You texted just me at one point. Oh no, no, you did not.

This is all in the same text thread. Yeah, you're very upset about this. Is Napoleon one of history's top hack guys? Question mark exclamation point. I want to be in this group chat. No, you know, you do not. You do not want to be in that. The atlants.

You don't want to be in there. Uh, the things like when it would be, this is like also like around COVID when it was like, oh, we argued about like Napoleon being a hat guy for like 10 hours. Right. Um, anyway, uh, there's something that came up during, well, I'm gonna let you look this up because there was something that came up during the break, which was-

I'm just seeing Napoleon Dynamite in my text right, because we just did, because of the Minecraft movie. Search Napoleon hat. I can't find it, but also my- Search Napoleon hat. That's how I got it, was Napoleon hat. Are you saying your texts are not SEO optimized? Yeah, I think the thing is,

cause I have my iCloud set up to auto delete text messages after like two years to save space. So I just probably don't have them anymore. So our video editor, Mike Dorfman, Emma was saying during the break Oh yeah. That he shot some of your camping show. Yeah.

And that That show is wild. But this is something you didn't bring up when we were talking about camping. You guys ran into a mountain line. Oh, yeah, we did. Wow. You ran into a mountain line during the camping trip.

Yeah, it's on film. Yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, it was scary. I think the episode's still online if you find it somewhere. It's definitely online. We were camping north of Santa Barbara, and we were walking, and the crazy part about that is we had found a cave that we crawled in before we met the mountain lion.

Whoa. Definitely was the mountain lion's house. Sure, yeah. Yeah, and then we were just walking. I like the mountain lion's house. Yeah, yeah. It did have little family photos of the mountain lions, Sure, yeah. Yeah, and then we were just walking. I like Mount Lyons house. Yeah, yeah. It did have like, you know, little family photos

of the mountain lions, and we were like, that's cute. But yeah, we were walking, and then we walked up on it, dude, and it made like a guttural sound. It was like, it went like, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr. That's what it sounded like. And I was like, oh shit. And then I was like, yo, filmr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, grr, There was audio of it, but there was a video. There was audio of it where, so then we have audio only because everybody ran, except for like one guy.

And I was like, dude, we gotta like, you know, in my head, I'm like, this is gonna make this episode great. And then the last audio is you hear the audio guy go, yes, this is fucked up, I'm outta here, man. Uh. Uh. How big is a mountain lion?

Like, is it, we talking, we got this little table here. It's like a big old Labrador. Okay, it's like a big dog. Yeah. Got it. Can I say my toxic trait? Yeah. Is that I think that I could tame any cat. Wow.

I know that you kind of believe it too in your head. Female mountain lions are 80 to 130 pounds. Yeah, they're a big dog. They're like three of jemys. Yeah, that's big. You're saying like, this is, cause this is like- Look, I know that I will get killed.

I know, just don't worry when people get mad at me for saying this. I know that I would be killed, but I do, there's a little bit inside of me where I think that any cat, I think I could get to love me. There was that documentary about how all the guys who believe this are real good guys.

There's a- The Tiger King clearly just illustrates that this is a good trait to have. I will not capture them and put them in cages. I'm just saying, if I got stranded in the African Sahara or something like that and there was a big lion, I think that I could say, hey, I'm not a bad guy. You're a life of pie situation. You're on a lifeboat with a tiger.

You're saying that tiger would be your friend. I think I could get the tiger to like me. I know that that's like a, I know that that is, I know I'm wrong, but I just can't see a cat killing me. Well, but this is Siegfried's hubris, right? Like he was the friend of cats until like at one point, things went wrong. Do you think people in the future will still say

Siegfried's hubris, like, some sort of tale? Yeah, that'll be like a... It's an actual origin will be completely lost. The story of Siegfried's hubris. The lion ate his head. That was the Siegfried's hubris. Um, I do, but I love cats, so I've had a bond with, like, my idea of heaven is if I could go to, like, So I've had a bond with like a,

my idea of heaven is if I could go to like a island in the sky with all the cats of the world. I can't believe you're saying this right next to Jemmy. She gets it. She gets it. I'm sorry, baby, not my type. You're not impressed. You have cat cafes.

I, I, I, cat- You could go to a heaven every day. That is, that is true. I could, I could go to, heaven every day. That is true. I could go to a... I'm just in very... I want to get buried with every cat that I've had. I have the axe. Alive or dead?

Put them in there with me? Yeah. I will not entomb them, though getting entombed would be kind of cool. Yeah. But no, I very much love cats, and I feel like I have a spiritual bond to them. But I know a lion would probably bite.

In a mountain... What are the ones when you're camping? Mountain lions and then- Mountain lions, bobcats. Bobcats, which bobcats aren't as bad, right? They're just smaller, I think they'll still bite you. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, I didn't know how to handle a mountain lion. I just got really lucky.

Yeah. Yeah. It makes me more scared to go camping with you, to be like, I just got really lucky. Yeah. The only thing that scares me is- You can smell fear, you gotta be fine with it. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. I'm most afraid of like, my biggest fear is snakes. I fucking hate snakes. Oh, I don't like snakes. I don't like them at all. I don't think they're fun. A regular Henry Jones. Ugh.

Indiana Jones is a- Oh. He's a- Well, a junior, Henry Jones Jr. Sorry, sorry. For good-way. Panantic about it. I wanna get the new Indiana Jones game. There's a- Well, a junior, Henry Jones Jr. Sorry, sorry. For good we. Panantic about it. I wanna get the new Indiana Jones game.

There's a new- And the Great Circle? And the Great Circle. Yeah, I heard it was good. Yeah. Let me get around the planet. I'll think about this sometimes just randomly. I'm like, I wonder what the closest I've ever been

to a snake and I didn't know it. Oh, shit, that's really crazy. I've seen a snake just hiking in Griffith Park before, like a wild snake. Yeah, of course, but I mean, like, I wonder if there's like one under the chair right now. Yeah. Like, it could get in there.

Well, if we're talking bugs, there's bugs all around us. Sure. We're surrounded by bugs. Bugs get me worse than snakes. Like, if I saw a snake, I'd be like, sure, the fear of a- I don't know. A venomous snake could kill you. Sure, yes.

The venom in a snake is scary, but a cockroach grosses me out more than a snake. I'd be like, oh, a snake, but I wouldn't care. Yeah, grosser, but there's something, I get what you're saying about it because like I'm definitely more afraid of snakes. I'd much rather see a tarantula, as scary as I think a tarantula is, than see a fucking rattlesnake.

Yeah, and also like anybody who's like, has a pet snake, like fuck you. Like fuck you, fuck you so much. Yeah, that's a weird guy. I mean I had a pet snake as fuck you like yeah, that's a weird guy so much like and I mean I had a pet snake is good, but yeah It's a good snake and we go all that means is you haven't caught it trying to kill you Yeah, that's a good one wants to kill you. Yeah, he just doesn't hasn't gotten around to it yet I like the boa constrictor guy which is much like the bird bird guy, like the guy who just likes to walk around with it and show it off.

Fucking no, put him in jail. Yeah, exactly. Go to jail. I knew a guy who had a big, and he was a madman. He's the guy who had the jar of the stuff. I've told you this before. Yes, right. He's the same guy who owned a snake. I was at a party one time in college,

and I just vocally hate snakes. And my roommate was at a party one time in college, and I just vocally hate snakes. And my roommate was at a house party. And my roommate thought it'd be funny. They had a snake, like a little boa. And he came, and I was sitting there drinking a beer on the couch. He put it around my neck. And I instinctively fucking grabbed it and threw it

against the wall. And it did die. Oh my God. And then I had to be like, that's not on me. That's not on you. I was like, it's like, I was like, can I stay, keep hanging out? You're like, right.

Yeah, the guy was like, no, you killed my fucking pet. I was like, fucking Steve put it around my neck. It's not my, it was such a- Oh man, it wasn't even, it was like, another pet. I was like, fucking Steve put it around my neck. It's not my, it was- Oh man, it wasn't even, it was the other guy. Yeah, I felt really bad. I wouldn't even do that with a dog. Like I wouldn't take my dog and like surprise put it in somebody's lap because that's food.

Especially if that person is like, yo, I hate dogs. Dogs care me really, really bad. The equivalent of that though, of what you're describing is Mitch is like, I hate dogs. I pick up your dog, Jemmy, and throw it on you. Like that's like, that's not the person who did it to you. It's on Steve. It's on Steve.

Steve was the problem. And by the way, just to be clear, I love cats, but to quote Molly Shannon, I love dogs too. I'm not, I am a dog. I'm a dog person as well. I like all animals. Look, dog. I'm a dog person. I'm a dog person as well. I like, I like all animals. We, look, we gotta get to the restaurant stuff. We gotta talk about Wendy's.

So I, here's the thing. Right now they have the Cajun Crunch. There's kind of two, three different reasons we're doing, we're revisiting Wendy's. I mean, like there's an overall reason, which is that it won the Dave Thomas Cup, it won Munch Madness, it won the Terminator, Terminator, Champions of Champions, Totcock.

And so we're kind of like, you know what, let's actually check in with Wendy's with a proper review. And they do have some LTOs right now. They have the Cajun Crunch Spicy Chicken Sandwich. They have the Tangerine Twist Lemonade. And they also have a trio, a triforce of vanilla frosty swirls, which are like their frosties,

but they have some other mix in, swirled in. I will say that the Cajun... I went to... I wanted to experience Wendy's, like, you know, in restaurant with the... with these new items, to give it a fair review. So I went to the Wendy's this past Saturday night. I got the Cajun Crunch Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Wow, a Saturday night Wendy's.

I like this. Yeah, it was great. Eating it in the car or in the... In the... I went in the store. I like that a lot. I, it was great. Yeah. Eating it in the car or in the... I went in the store. I like that a lot. I dined in. I like in the store. Yeah. I got the spicy chicken. It's gonna be better, no matter what.

Spicy chicken filet with a pepper jack cheese, Cajun crispy onions, lettuce, pickles, and a spicy mustard spread. Big easy, big spicy, a little reference to Down in Dubai. I thought this was really hidden, except, and I'm curious about your takes, get those Cajun crispy onions the fuck out of here.

I don't need those little crispies. That's interesting that- I don't like those at all. It's just, now they describe it as it's dry on dry. It's just like, I don't need this extra component that is just adding, you know, just taking away from the overall moisture of it. And then it's purely adding this crunch

of this very processed- Cajun crunch. Yeah then it's purely adding this crunch of this very processed. Cajun crunch. Yeah, it's a Cajun crunch. It's a Cajun crunch. It's a Cajun crunch, but it is like a, it is a, you know, it's just a packaged crispy snack that I don't feel like is adding anything into the overall experience.

No, I didn't like it either. I had to audition the other day, they go Southern southern and I go, okay, here we go. And they were like, no, not that. Cajun crumb. That's not what we want. Is that a new Wendy's sandwich, sir? You just made me think it. But I agreed.

I didn't need... Also, by the time I got it, because we got it here at the studio, the crispies weren't even crispy. So now we're soggy crispies. No, addition by the time I got it, cause we got it here at the studio, the crispies weren't even crispy. So now we're soggy crispies. No, addition by subtraction to get rid of those. Yep. I thought the mustard was very overwhelmed.

I was either the mustard or the Cajun crunchies. The dryness didn't bother me, but that I think it was that mustard was very strong. Well, I liked that spicy mustard. I know, look, that's what I was saying. I was like, this sandwich has a lot of flavor. It delivers on that. There's a lot of Cajun flavors going on there.

I think that I just was eating it and I was like, I wish I had a spicy chicken sandwich. If you like this Cajun mustard though, you'll like the sandwich, I think. But it is, it's strong. It's really, it's almost overpowering, to me at least. Yeah. Speaking of overpowering, can we talk

about this fucking monstrous horse? So the tangerine twist lemonade, which I also got. Oh, is there a piece of tangerine in there? Yeah, you're still. No, it's just settling, dude. Oh my god. Oh, that's not a, I thought that was a piece of tangerine. It's just settling from, it's the most intense drink

I've ever had. Yeah, you? I've had, I mean, I had none of it. And it feels like I've had a lot. Sorry. For audio listeners, Brooks is holding up this neon orange drink, which I would say you got with lunch, and it is still like 9 tenths full.

Like, you barely made a dent in it. Obviously, some of the ice has melted. But that was basically where my cup was when I abandoned it on Saturday night, because it's just so intensely sweet. It's the most. It's way night because it's just so intensely sweet. It's the most, it's so fucking nuts. I drank half of it and I was seeing through time.

I was like, it's very, I like sweet. I'm a sweet, I'm a fan of especially sweet drinks. That's like my, you know, that's my weakness. I like a very sweet. I love a Mountain Dew. Sure, I love Mountain Dew. I love sugary, I love Coca-Cola, it's my weakness. I like a very sweet. I love a Mountain Dew. Sure. I love Mountain Dew. I love sugary. I love Coca-Cola.

It's my favorite drink. I just, this was, and I think that Wendy's lemonades are good. It just was, I think Emma nailed it. It's sweet on sweet. Their lemonade is already sweet, and then you add a tangerine sweetness into it, and it just is, it is very, very sweet.

I don't think it tasted bad. It just is that thing of, like you guys are saying, it needed to be cut, you want to cut it with water. Yeah, well like, for real, not, like if, I'm trying to think of the amount of money it would take for me to finish that, and I think it's like a hundred bucks. I think, like if you were like, here's a hundred dollars,

if you drink that, and you would have to give me like 20 minutes. Yeah. I would, I would be like, fuck, all right, I'll do that. But if you were like 50 bucks a drink, I'm like, get away from me, no. You described it as a mixer, and I think that was astute because it is kind of like,

hey, I'm just, if you get a really bad virgin margarita and you're just getting margarita mix, it's like, this is so intensely sweet. This is margarita mix. Yeah. That's 100% what this is. It's weird, because the tangerine and the lemonade, it feels like it should be citrusy

and like a little more tart, but it's not tart at all. Not at all. It's pure sugar. Yeah. Way too much. Too much. I still didn't hate it, personally. I like a sweet drink.

Like, I didn't think it was, it just is very, very sweet. I think it just depends on what your palate is. I think as me, as I've gotten older, I just can't deal with, especially, you were talking about sweet, I can't deal with super sweet drinks anymore. I can't, that amount of liquid sugar is just overpowering.

Yeah, straight up, a whole Mountain Dew will floor me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like a full, which I used to be able to drink seven of them. No, it's that thing of the, that's, like, drinking that much sugar as an adult will just, yeah. I was, I was, I was seeing things. I saw a young Nicholas Weiger asking,

saying he's yelling that he's lost. And then you helped me. Yeah, I'm the guy. You're the guy? It's a looper? It's a looper. Oh my god. I'm the man who helped you? Now I have a podcast.

But I will say, speaking of sweet, the vanilla frosty swirls, now look, would I rather have a default frosty? Brooks said this right off the, he was like, I like a chocolate frost. He was like, well. Probably, but I do think these are good executions of the swirl version.

And I think it's a fun, you know, limited time variant. And I really liked, I thought the brownie butter really worked. I thought the strawberry vanilla was a little bit, you know, a little sciencey tasting. I didn't love the strawberry preserves of that, but I thought the caramel was very, was working too. And the brownie had a little bit of like

a granular texture to it, which was nice. The issue with these, I think that the brownie one was the best. Yes, for sure. But I think it cleared all of them easy. But the strawberry one was okay, but with all of these, they're like putting it around the edge of the cup,

and then it's like sometimes just settling at the bottom. And then they're putting, so you kind of have to scrape the side of the cup to get it with your, you know, it's not mixed in or anything like that. No, you gotta scrape that bad boy, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which I didn't, I didn't, like you were saying, with the brownie one,

you thought there would be pieces. And it is, the actual sauce, like, does give a good approximation of a brownie, and it's like kind of grainy. That's what I mean, yeah, I like the sauce itself, but I do think a proper mix in, if we had like chunks of brownie, I thought that would have been a full four-kettle. Yeah, they were, to me, boring. They could have been better.

They were fine, could have been better. Would you have liked it? With a mix. I want it mixed up. I like a Blizzard, you know? I like a Blizzard. And they're not Blizzard. They're not Blizzard. You know what you're right, yes. We both mix up the swirled component, like the brownie batter, the caramel, and the strawberry.

That could be better mixed as opposed to just sort of like, you know, sprayed around the outside of the cup and then filled with a frosty. But additionally, I think a mix in for each of these, some brownie pieces for the brownie batter, some maybe some nut clusters or something, or some brittle for the caramel vanilla. And then some, maybe just some strawberries

for the strawberry vanilla. I mean, just something that's- For like a granola? Yeah, just add a little bit of texture to it. You can get caramel clusters, even. I think we just something that's- For like a granola? Yeah, just add a little bit of texture to it. Yeah, caramel clusters, even. I think we're trying to create blizzards. Right. Yes, 100%.

You are correct. But it needed, it does, look, they were, I think they're, I'm not gonna shit on these because I think they- Me either, I thought they were good. They were like one of the better things, I think, that I had in both, I had one of these last night for dinner and today for lunch.

Okay. But not good, but I want it. So I like you and I are both like, we're covering one day, we both better go twice. Yeah. We're gonna have something to talk about. Today I did have stuff that I had not had for a while. And also I just wanted a spicy chicken sandwich

because I didn't get it last night. Right. And so I ordered spicy chicken sandwich as well. But I tried some things that I haven't had in a long time. I did get fries in restaurant and look, something Wendy's fries skeptic, but getting them hot out of the fryer, they were absolutely hitting in the restaurant.

Restaurant Wendy's fries with Wendy's nacho cheese is heaven for me. Wow. I fucking love dipping fries in a cheese fry. Do you have a favorite cheese fry? Probably that one. Wow, okay. I'm a big Arby's fries,

Arby's cheese sauce plus Arby's curly fries. I think that's a great combo. I have I'm a big Arby's fries, Arby's cheese sauce, plus Arby's curly fries. I think that's a great combo. I have an aversion to Arby's. I never go there. The one on Sunset has closed. It's called Prince Street Pizza. There was like, I have like, speaking of childhood trauma, Arby's is involved in one of mine

where we were going on a trip to the Wisconsin Dells, my family, and my dad got this idea. Instead of like eating regular meals, Arby's had five for five roast beef sandwiches. So we got 50 Arby's roast beef sandwiches for the family to eat. Oh my God, I love this. We put them in a blue cooler that like melted,

so it's just wet Arby's. So we got them in advance of the trip for the duration. Got them on the way to the Dells. He's like, cool, we're eating. And I was like, I can't do this. And my dad said, you think you're better than roast beef? No. No.

No. No. And to turn it all the way around, yeah. My mom was like, Jim, this is fucking nuts. And my dad was like, fine. And he gave me and my brother $5 to go to Subway. He goes, fine, go eat at Subway. And we got to Subway, we were like, we'll have $5.

The $5 footlong at one point, but that's it. Yeah, no, but it was just, it was a funny move. So Arby's is my Joshua tree. Wow. Did you get the crab, the beef? I don't think I could afford it because of the $5. Yeah, with the $5. Yeah, and my brother didn't want it, so we had to get some and we'd split or something. Yeah. Anyway, so I don't fuck I could afford it because of the $5. Yeah, and my brother didn't want it

So we had to get some we'd split or so. Yeah. Anyway, so I don't fuck with Arby's Yeah, I get that I I will I'd for me that the subway when I was like really trying to eat the cheapest version of it You don't even get the six-inch you'd get like the little like hamburger bun Yes, the mini or whatever is called. I don't know they have that anymore. They definitely don't yeah I totally remember that a little four-incher guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, even with a $5 for it long, $5 with tax, you're not going to be able to get any.

You're just not going to be able to get it. The tax, that's how they get you, Mitch. The taxes. It's the tax. The Jared tax. Looking back, my dad was just stressed about money. I totally get it. I remember.

He should have spent $50 on the roast beef sandwiches. It was good, man. But I remember at the Dells, I totally get it. I remember- He should've spent 50 bucks on the roast beef sandwiches. It was good, man. It was good. But I remember at the Dell's, I got a lemonade and they said, do you want strawberries in it? And I was like, yeah, I love strawberries in lemonade. And my dad's like, Jesus Christ. Like, he's like, these fucking strawberries

in the fucking lemonade, are you fucking kidding me? What is this, Little King? So I was just stressing him out the whole week, I guess. Saying this, I would have much rather had a strawberry lemonade than this tangerine lemonade, which they have at Wendy's, which is decent, also very sweet. Dude, the Red Robin strawberry lemonade? Oh yeah. That's bottomless.

That's good. We haven't met a Red Robin in a long time. Really good stuff. There's no close one either is the issue. Yeah, we owe a revisit. It's another chain that's kind of atrophying and I wonder how its quality level is now, but I haven't been in,

I haven't been since the last time we reviewed it. Brooks, would you have enjoyed the Frosties if it was a regular chocolate frosting with those toppings? I would have been way more excited to try the chocolate with those toppings. We could have done that. So we fucked up. No, but like also with chocolate,

but it would have just been more interesting for me than like vanilla ice cream with strawberry swirl. You know, I'm like, oh, what is chocolate and strawberry? This is how they are, the vanilla frosty swirl, that's how they come, but I think it actually, to your point, I think if they'd made the brownie batter with a default chocolate base, I think that would have been a more interesting version.

They've gotten a little too cute with Frosty's. I agree. Frosty's chocolate is the original. The original Frosty formula is chocolate. And to me, that's still the king. They had the Girl Scout one they were doing for a bit. Which was damn good. The Thin Mint one.

It was good. That sounds great. They did have a birthday one, which I enjoyed. But yeah, I think they're getting a little too cute with them. Today I got the Crispy Panko Fish Sandwich, which is something I never order, which is basically their filet-o-fish sandwich

that's also got dill, tartar sauce, pickles, lettuce, American cheese. So definitely dealing with some wilted lettuce here by the time I ate it, but- I did not see a good piece of lettuce in any sandwich today. We all got bad lettuce, but that could be a transit issue. But I will say, this sandwich was hidden. I thought it was real good.

I took a bite of it. It's a little fishy, but it was yummy. It was a little fishy, but I did think it was a decent sandwich. And then this, Brooks, you were confused by this because you were like, wait, do I have a fish sandwich? So I thought we all got the same thing. And I was eating the chicken sandwich.

And then you were like, this fish sandwich is good. And then I was like, am I, do I just not understand, like is this fish so bad that it tastes like chicken? And so yeah, I was a little worried that I was having a stroke for a second. We gave you all, we got you our order from our first visit. Last night I got the Cajun crunch. What is it, in the Bayou, what do you think a Cajun crunch is? Run over a gator or something? What would you consider a Cajun crunch. What is it, in the Bayou,

what do you think a Cajun crunch is? Run over a gator or something? What would you consider Cajun? That's a Cajun crunch right there. Probably what you say when you run over a gator. Yeah, yeah. Oh, and then you're like, give it a key.

Oh. Uh. One time I rented, one time I rented a kayak in the Everglades. I was by myself and I asked the dude, I was like, hey, I want to see. You do all these things on your own, you're scaring me. No, like I was there shooting a movie and I had a day off.

And so I was like, I want to go to the Everglades. I love it. Yeah, and also stand up is a real solo thing. So I want to time off. I just leave and go do things. Sure. Just in the hotel room. But I asked the dude, I had the kayak.

I was like, which way to Alligator? He goes, oh boy, any way you want. He was so right and it was so scary. I ran into an alligator in the wild, that was terrifying. What happened? So I was just kayaking around being like, this is cool, I wanna see an alligator. And then I saw it and I was like, oh, awesome.

But then it got in the water, and started coming towards me. And I'm like in a kayak, so my body is in water a little bit. And I was like, all I did was I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and just backpedaled. Just backpedaled the fuck out of there. Your motherfucker wanted to eat you. I don't know, it might just come down and inspect.

I guess so. Yeah. I don't know, there is something, when an animal is eyeing you up and they're seeing a meal, I was like, that's a very scary sort of event. Yeah, I didn't know. I there is something when when an animal is eyeing you up and you know, they want there They're seeing a meal. I was like that's that's not a very scary sort of yeah, I didn't like it. Yeah It turns out I'm afraid of alligators They'll trick you too, man, but anyway, he was gonna do a Cajun crunch on me They could I have been fooled by alligators a lot,

but it's a long story. It's a long story. We don't need to get into it. Do you guys like gator bites? Uh, well. Ha ha ha ha. Well, sometimes we bite back. Ha ha ha ha.

We sometimes bite back without our teeth. Ha ha ha ha. Okay, all right, I don't know what's happening. Ha ha ha. Nick and I have been, there's been gators over the years that have tricked Nick and I to thinking they were just human beings and we sucked them off.

Right. And then we find out that they're actually gators. Find out it's a gator later. That happens. Yeah. Shh, yep. That's what happens when you come 10 years into a podcast. Yeah.

You're 100% right. We're sorry that, we're sorry the show sucks. No, no, no. I mean, I'm like, oh, you guys, this is back and forth that this seems to be stimming for decades. You were talking about the chicken sandwich. And you mentioned the chicken earlier at Pizza Ranch. Is that one of your top proteins?

That's something you're looking forward to? You like yourself a fried bird. What's your favorite time to use? If I'm going to a restaurant, if I'm going to a fast food restaurant, I'm getting chicken sandwich. I like a chicken sandwich, a crispy chicken sandwich. What are some of your favorites?

I mean, I don't really love, like, I fucking love chicken nuggets from McDonald's. Oh, sure, yeah. Straight up McDonald's chicken nuggets. Nothing wrong with that. But if I'm eating at Wendy's, I'm going to get just a regular chicken sandwich. Yeah. Just mayo and like lettuce and that's it. Are you a Chick-fil-A guy at all?

I like a Chick-fil-A. Yeah, I'll definitely get a Chick-fil-A sandwich. But yeah, chicken sandwiches in general, I guess, I don't know. My favorite one would probably be fucking Wendy's chicken sandwich. Wow, OK. Did you ever do spicy chicken sandwich? The spicy one would be like a lot.

Oh, yeah, I like the spicy one. Like back in the day, remember the Burger King's Tender Crisp? Oh, yeah. Remember that the commercial? Oh, yeah, with Hootie. Yeah, I love the spicy one. Like back in the day, remember the Burger King's Tinder Crisp? Oh yeah. Remember that, the commercial? Oh yeah, with Hootie. Yeah, I loved that commercial so much. Poov used to sing it, yeah.

I like the Tinder Crisp bacon cheddar ranch. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the tune of like Big Rock Candy Mountain. Yes, yeah. The breast they grow on trees. It's sad that I know that one. No, but it was like stuck in my memory.

I would watch, it was like early YouTube, but I was just watching that fucking commercial all the time. God bless Hootie. I feel like that one and then the Quiznos, what was the other early YouTube one you saw? We got the subs. Yeah, exactly, yeah. We got a pepper bar!

Yeah. Those little guys. It is the start of every commercial being some sort of weird and like jokey. Like a- Yeah, too self-aware, too internet conscious. I, you know what, I want to make a stance here. Let's get the Super Bowl commercials back to funny.

I'm tired of these... I think it's impossible. You know, here's what I want. Give me a sincere commercial. What? Give me like a, come on into McDonald's. Like, we got a great meal at a great price. In my head, I thought you wanted more like veterans coming home to sell McDonald's. Like, we got a great meal and a great price. In my head, I thought you wanted more, like,

veterans coming home to sell McDonald's. I mean, look, I'm not against veterans coming home. But you know what I mean? It's like, most like, like Budweiser commercials where it's like saluting the troops. I'm like, now give me the frogs, man. I want the frogs. Yeah, that is when it's when it's.

The frogs were, I mean, they were so good. When it's playing on patriotism It's a little bit like of an eye roll like it's like alright. What are you doing? But I get what you're saying Mitch that's just sort of like yeah like hey We got a quality product at a fair price Come to our come to our establishment and patronize us if McDonald's was like like come on in for some fresh hotcakes So there's just a picture of the pancakes. Wouldn't that make you want to go to McDonald's and eat the hotcakes more? Wasn't there, like, there wasn't in ads recently from some sort of restaurants, like, look,

we fucked up, and we're not doing that anymore. That was Domino's. That was like 10 years ago at this point, but it was a thing of like, I did like that campaign. And also a huge success for Domino's. It was. And so, funny you say that. Although we don't like their new sauce as much.

No. I mean, Domino's is, I wish I could go back and have the old Domino's pizza sometimes, the one that tastes like shit, but it's over. But speaking of Domino's- They should do that campaign now, where they're just like getting letters from us, from like, this is unacceptable.

The doughboys want old Domino's. The doughboys want the old shitty Domino's. We're going back to the shitty version that they remember from their childhood. Everyone's mad at us, Domino's. We're going back to the shitty version that they remember from their childhood. Everyone's mad at us, Domino's closes. But speaking of, Wendy's is this old homestyle burger joint. To me it was always elevated fast food.

We just had the tournament, it won. It was a Cinderella store because we thought this place has been getting bad. But also, like, you were talking about sincere commercials fucking back in the day, Dave Thomas did sincere Wendy's commercials. You know what I'm talking about?

Maybe that's why we're thinking about it. Hey, come on in. Like fucking We Do Fresh, Never Frozen patties. That is exactly what you're talking about. It didn't fucking rule. It made it feel good. Fucking Timberlake. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.

It changed everything. That little fucker. Cause after that- You think that's the whole problem? You think that's the pivot point? I mean, I think that Timberlake did that. Justin Timberlake did that? I mean, I don't know if it's Timberlake's fault,

but I'm going to blame Timberlake because it just got too cool. It got too funny. Everything got, everything got, we were talking about the baby back rib commercial. Just how great that was and how sincere it is. I mean, you've seen the behind the scenes where they're recording that.

It's like, we just like, I mean, that's amazing. We were just saying that it was like, we were saying that it's like watching seen the behind the scenes where they're recording that. It's like, we just like, I mean, that's amazing. We were just saying that it was like, we were saying that it's like watching the Beatles behind the scenes. It's incredible. And to me, things just got too silly, but also not funny. Like you're saying is like commercials aren't funny

and they're silly and weird and just bad, but whatever. You know what I'm sick of in commercials? I know this is not a food thing, but it's just like, are we just talking about shitting now? We're just gonna straight up like just talking about shitting on, I'm sick of in commercials, I know this is not a food thing, but it's just like, are we just talking about shitting now? We're just gonna straight up just talking about shitting on, I'm like watching basketball. Julius loving it. And then there's an ad break,

and there's someone just talking about like, I took a big shit and I need some toilet paper to wipe my asshole. Like people think they're basically that explicit now. And like there's also like on the internet, there's all these like very self aware, like very ironically you know, like ironically like overt, like self aware ads that are just about like, you know, bidets

and like squatty potty's and stuff. Yeah, your butt hole. Yeah, talking about your hole and stuff. It's like, I don't need to hear about this. What are we talking about? What happened to some layers of like, you know, abstraction? Be a little subtle with it. The Come Podcast wants polite society to return.

That's what we want. But it's just like we've got like, you know, we remember the era of like, hey, here's a strip of some sort of absorbent thing, and we're just going to pour a blue liquid onto it. Like, that's as far as we'll come to acknowledge it that we have stuff from our bodies. I don't have to see a cartoon bear smile as like a dump

is coming out of its ass. Yeah, exactly. I don't need, I don't have to see a cartoon bear smile as like a dump is coming out of its ass. Yeah, exactly. I don't gotta see it. It's like a mom inspecting like a kid bear's ass and he's got like little pieces of toilet paper on. It's like, I don't know, what are we talking, like this is disgusting. I don't wanna think about what this relationship is.

Yeah, I agree. That reminded me of my own mom looking at my own asshole. Yeah. Like Brooke said, wiping your ass is a one man job. You're the only man for the job. Yeah, I agree. It's fucking gross. Unless you're a little kid and then...

No, you gotta have help. You gotta have a little help. So you gotta teach you. And then sometimes you get older, sometimes you need a little help. Yeah, you gotta hit 35, 36. Yeah. The larger point though is correct,

and you are correct to cite Dave Thomas of Wendy's, the living mascot of the chain that he created as an example of just sincerity in marketing. Because nothing's been the same, except, look, I'm not going to say that I've had great Wendy's in the last 20 years or whatever, but since Dave Thomas died, there was a change. And also the Domino's thing that you brought up too is like,

we were thinking Wendy's has gotten bad. And then we had a run on this tournament where we had great spicy chicken sandwiches. They were really knocking it out of the park. Today, Amelia said that if this was the performance in the finals, Wendy's would not have won. And you maybe are right. I don't know. It's a, what did it go up against?

In-N-Out Burger. Was there ever a scenario where you were going to vote for In-N-Out Burger over Wendy there ever a scenario where you were gonna vote for In-N-Out Burger over Wendy's? I just don't think you would. I don't know. If it was, today's lettuce was really bad. I'm sure that you have massive takes

that you've done consistently on this podcast, but you don't like In-N-Out? No, I do like it. Mitch just doesn't wanna vote for it, cause I like it. I love it. Yeah. That's my favorite fact.

I was shocked that you voted for it in the finals, but Wendy's was not bad. I thought Wendy's deserved it. Yeah. That's my favorite fact. I was shocked that you voted for it in the finals, but Wendy's was not bad. I thought Wendy's deserved it. Last night I got the Cajun crunch sandwich and I got some medium fries. The fries were just okay-wise. They were warm, but I don't like the new Wendy's fries. I like the old golden yellow fries from Wendy's.

I got a grilled chicken ranch wrap last night too. Oh wow. And this is the sort of item back in the day where you're like, oh, this is like a grilled chicken ranch wrap last night too. Oh wow. And this is the sort of item back in the day where you're like, oh, this is like good grilled chicken and there's, you know, like cheese and lettuce and ranch sauce in there. And last night it just was not, I didn't eat all of it but it was like, this is just,

doesn't feel like the same quality. And I got the lemonade and I got the brownie frosty which I liked the brownie frosty. Today I did some stuff I hadn't done before. I did the brownie frosty, which I liked the brownie frosty. Today, I did some stuff I hadn't done before. I did the apple pecan salad, which comes with apples, pecans, and grilled chicken. And this is like Wendy's salads used to be a thing my mom would get for lunch, and they were like,

it's like, whoa, Wendy's has good salads. Like they had beef. Certainly compared to McDonald's, Burger King, Carl's Jr. Hardee's, the other, like, same, similar concepts in its sector, yes. They were, they were, they were... A better caliber salad. More akin to a Panera salad.

100%. And the presentation now has gotten worse. It's just in a big, clear bowl. It used to feel like more presenta... Like, you know, there was more of a presentation. It kind of looks like a prepackaged salad you'd get at, like, the airport. 100%. It does, and I bet it is. I bet fundamentally those are being delivered to the restaurant as is. And kinda looks like a pre-packaged salad you'd get at like the airport. 100%. It does and I bet it is.

I bet fundamentally those are being delivered to the restaurant as is. And it felt like maybe they used to make them and I'm not sure if that's the truth. Maybe they didn't, but it felt that way. And it felt like you got like warm chicken here. It was just like, the chicken was kind of cold. That being said, I had a bite of it.

I thought it wasn't bad. You tried it. What did you think? It was whatever. It was like Emma said it was like a grocery store salad. It was a grocery store salad. An airport salad. It used to feel like Wendy's had more of that,

and I also got a baked potato, the chili, the cheddar chili baked potato had cheese and chili on a baked potato. Yeah. Pretty good, it was pretty good. I mean, I was trying to try old. It tasted like a baked potato. Like it was not, it wasn't, I had a bite

and I'm like, oh, I don't know, but I was like, but this wouldn't be good at home either. Like I don't love a. Sure. It was good. I, I. He loves it. He's a baked potato man.

I like the one, I more, I get what you're saying. It is just a russet baked potato, but I like that you can get a baked potato at Wendy's. I like that too. That's interesting. And I fear, and I got, I got the chili today and my chili was great. I fear that it is the's interesting. And I fear, and I got the chili today and my chili was great. I fear that it is the kind of thing that could happen if, you know,

Wendy's is acquired by, as it was at a certain point, but is now like its own thing again. But if Wendy's is acquired by one of these private equity firms, you know, one of these hedge funds, and they're going to be like, hey, we're going to streamline your menu for profitability. I worry about make potato and chili being casualties because I like that they have them even if they're just like replacement level. I just, just like that.

You can get this instead of fries is great. They're first. They're first to go for sure. Yeah. 100%. That's going to be very sad because the thing, this is the issue that the, the, my, my issue with Wendy's in the last few years just seems like any sort of fast food restaurant.

I know that different parts of the country, it's like nationally, like people in Florida are like, Wendy sucks, but for me it was always elevated. And it was that idea of the Bizano week and more. You know the little spaghetti emoji? You can put it right here, the little spaghetti emoji. Yeah. Which, what a surprise, the and more at the Bizano Festival is fucking spaghetti.

What a professional podcaster you are with this callback. What a pull. Like, this is where I'm like, that's why they pay him the big money. He's making it all together. Fucking Bill Simmons of Food World over here. It's really impressive. You take that back.

We were making fun of Bill Simmons before this started. Well, he does it. Look, I listen to the Bill Simmons podcast quite a bit. He's a pro. He can't stop listening. But the and more is the thing about Wendy's. It's not just your classic hamburger stand. You have the chili, the baked potato.

There used to be a little salad buffet there. Yes. It's all this stuff that adds up. And the quality of that on this visit has gone down. It's undeniable. Where I thought you were headed with the mention of the spaghetti is to Steak and Shake, a concept that we've revisited a number of times

in the podcast and Steak and Shake, a place where its unique qualities have been completely excised. And that's because of one man, Sardar Biglari, who has acquired the chain and kind of shaped in its own image, had dreams of global expansion that had been scaled back to national expansion. And that as part of doing that, he got rid of items

like spaghetti that were a staple of their menu. Well, did you guys ever... The restaurant that I thought would take over the world that then like stumbled was Fizzoli's. Have you ever fucked with Fizzoli's? We had Fizzoli's. We reviewed Fizzoli's on the podcast. I loved Fizzoli's so much. Did we do that with Fasoles? We have been to Fasoles. We reviewed Fasoles on the podcast. I loved Fasoles so much.

Did we do that with Mitra? And it just all imploded. Yeah. It was the Fasoles at the Phoenix Airport though. That's exciting for me. Okay. I had never had it. Mitra loved it growing up. Yeah.

Yeah, Midwest. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, Ohio, Iowa. Yeah. They showed up perfect time for me and Mitra. We were like, you know, in high school and you're just like, fast food spaghetti? I know. I love the idea. We were like in high school and you're just like, fast food spaghetti? I know. I love the idea. We had a good, we had a blast there.

Didn't we record some sort of announcement there too? I forget what it was. Oh, fuck, was that for? We just recorded in the fazoles. I forget what we recorded. I snuck fazoles into a movie theater one time and realized you're not supposed to eat spaghetti in the dark.

It was a fucking bloodbath. That is, that is. Just so much spaghetti all over me. There are certain fast food things you can't eat. No, no. Yes, that just does not work. Fazoli's has a panel at Hall H at a PaisanoCon actually. Oh wow.

Yeah. Ah, you're good, I'm just surrounded by pros. We're having fun. I was like, bring out Robert Downey Jr. They bring out Chef Boyardee. He's wearing a Dr. Doom mask. Yeah. What the fuck?

Fucking Italian. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! I love fazoles, but driving or being in a car or whatever, or being in a movie or whatever, like there's some that I like is fast food, but you gotta go somewhere and eat it. 1000%. And that's a fazoles is not one.

Wendy's kinda is one of them, but all of this stuff that elevates Wendy's, not great on this visit for me, Wikes, and also overall the visit was not great in general. Thank you to Aura Frames for sponsoring this episode. Thank you Aura Frames. Yes, Mother's Day is coming up and you can give the perfect gift that keeps on giving and that's an Aura Frame.

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to get $45 off plus free shipping on their best-selling Carver Mat Frame. Great deal. Great frame. That's Aura, A-U-R-A, frames.com. Use promo code PHOTO, terms and conditions apply. PHOTO, folks. Don't forget it. Thank you, Aura. Thanks. We should get to our fork scores.

So, Brooks, we'll each go around, we'll give a closing argument if you will, and give it a score from zero to five forks. I'll just start things off because I agree that the LTOs were a little bit underwhelming. I did not like the tangerine twist lemonade at all. I thought the frosty swirls were fun, but yes, I think a default frosty is better. They're perhaps a little unka-pachka.

The Cajun Crunch Spicy Chicken Sandwich, again, just does not need those crispy onions. And I'd rather just have their spicy chicken sandwich. But I really just have such fondness for Wendy's. And I do like the totality of their menu. And I do feel like when I go to a Wendy's, or when I get a Wendy's and I'm just eating it, you know, when it's supposed to be eaten,

there's not like a 25-minute gap before I start having my meal. Then it's hidden for me. And it hit for me all throughout the tournament. I don't see a reason for me to go below the four fork threshold. Now the question is, does it get all the way up to five? And I don't think that it does. I think it's fallen off a little bit.

And I also feel like they're, like you were saying, Mitch, they're getting a little too cute with the stuff that they're trying. But I think on balance, I think this place deserves, for me, four forks and two tines. That's where I think Wendy's lands. So Brooks, your- Four and a half forks.

Four and a half forks. Brooks, your thoughts, your closing argument, if you will, and then a score from zero to five forks. Right, well, I like Wendy's. So we picked a place that I do like. In my hierarchy of if I'm gonna go to a fast food, like there's tiers, you know, in and out always. For sure.

Chick-fil-A is different, but you have your Wendy's, you have your McDonald's, Burger King, that situation. And I do like going to Wendy's. This chicken sandwich I had wasn't particularly great. The drink was undrinkable. Yes. I particularly great. The drink was undrinkable. Yes. I will say that the drink was undrinkable. But I, out of love and respect for Dave Thomas,

I'll give it three out of five. Three fourths, wow. Three fourths, okay. What do you think, Mitch? You had a bad, you had a bad Wendy's outing. It was not good. Cause I, the food today was not great. I also, I love this jacket.

I want to give you a shout out for this. Oh, it's a great jacket. It's Carhartt. Carhartt, which we, Amelia and I thought it was Cornell. It looks very color, same color as Cornell, but it's a very nice jacket. Casey's also got a nice jacket, or is that a shirt? It's just a denim shirt.

It looks cool. Nice try. What's the patch? Oh, I got it on eBay. It's like some gas, like gas station shirt. Love that cool You can use a jacket This is Tim Robinson wore this on Detroiters and I was at his house and I was like I really like that jacket you were on to traders and he was like you can have it cuz he's got like a rule if

He wore something on TV. He won't wear it out or something. I was like, I'll take that jacket. Oh wow Yeah, uh, I want to get the hot dog suit. Uh, he used to wear it out until he didn't sketch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is good. I wanted to say this quickly. I got to go back on a couple things here.

Yeah. Mario 1, Mario 3, Super Mario World, Mario 64, and Odyssey can be your answers for best Marios. That's, I think, those are. That's it? Yeah, for me, that's it. You don't think Galaxy can be on there? No, sorry, guys.

I think if someone says Super Mario Galaxy is my favorite Mario, I think that's totally valid. And Super Mario 3D World, same thing. 3D Land, I get a little bit... Any other Super Mario lands, any of the mobile ones, I'm a little bit like, I don't know. They hand out ones. I can't really tell people what they can choose, obviously.

Yes, obviously, people's preferences are what they are and everyone is allowed to have their own taste. Yes, obviously you can't say to someone else what their reality is. We have to take this to PizzanoCon. Yes. And find out what real Italian is. They'll be mad we're not talking

about chicken parm sandwiches. Listen, Mario, he's an Italian man. That's true. Oh, that's right, that's right, yes. Yeah, actually, you're right. He. Listen, Mario's an Italian man. That's true. Oh, that's, oh, that's right. That's right. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, actually you're right. He is a, he's a star. I didn't, I was, I was thinking Wendy's in my head.

Yeah, Mitch, what the fuck are you doing? It's not as bad as fucking confusing a jacket for a shirt, you fucking idiot. Uh, now this is the part of the podcast you'll see where we're really bad at. Oh. Uh. Um.

I think any Mario, I think the mainline Marios are so good, they're kind of like, and I'm realizing this is now sounding like an old guy thing, they're kind of like Beatles albums. Yeah, yeah. Where it's just like, they're like, any Beatles album where someone wants to say like, hey, I just like Magical Mystery Tour, I'm like, you know what? Hey, that's a great album. Sure. You know what I mean?

I think Pizzano-Con will be, if you brought Mario and Luigi, they'd start going off about Leguizamo being Luigi in the Mario movie. Not even Italian! It wasn't right! It wasn't right! That's... That's a take. It's true! I... They're okay with Brad?

Oh, that's different. Wait, why is that different? Why is that different? We don't gotta get into it. Um, I think that Dave Thomas was the heart and soul of Wendy's. I love Wendy's, why is that? He was hard for me to go. It's going to be hard for me to go below five forks even.

But I'm going to, but I am going to go below five forks. But the CEOs of Wendy's, they've changed stuff. The world is changing, I get it. Things change, you have to change with the times. But I don't like a lot of the changes that they've made. And I wish that they would go back to that classic hamburger stand. I'm also just, I was saying this before we started,

but I'm sick of CEOs in general. Like we gotta know who Dana White is. Like why the fuck do I gotta know who this fucking bald dickhead is? Why do CEOs have to be famous too? Like, I don't, you already make billions of dollars, now you have to be a celebrity? But we liked Dave Thomas, right?

We loved Dave Thomas, but he was in the commercials and that's how it was. He was sincere. He was a spokesman. Yes, and he was sincere and he was like, so many other people, like, Dave Thomas to me wasn't trying to be a celebrity. No, Dave Thomas was like, hey, trust me, I run a great business.

Yes. And I respect that. And that's so many people now, like Big Larry and all these people, just they have this like sweatiness of trying to be fucking Zuckerberg. All these people. I'm like, like you're pieces of shit. I don't want to see you and I don't want,

like you know what I mean? Like Dave Thomas seemed like an earnest, good person that, like, cared about the quality of his restaurant. Also, he was the mascot. That's true. Yeah. And also, look, was he trying to make money? Yes, he was.

But there was connection with that, where I'm like, this is a quality restaurant. You could taste it when you went there. I mean, like, Wendy's, a good old Wendy's brick, you know, brick outside. You go inside, like, brick on the floor. You smell it. You know, like, that old Wendy's, a good old Wendy's brick, you know, brick outside, you go inside, like brick on the floor, you smell it, you know, like that old Wendy's, like it was like fucking, you know,

actual legitimate like meat being cooked. Yeah, sure. It was awesome. That like, it just felt good and wholesome. The terrarium, I always call it terrarium, which is not. Someone's corrected me on this every time, but the big bubble glass thing where you could eat under. Solarium, it's sort of a greenhouse feel, yeah. Yes, and it would just, I loved that place.

It felt like a quality place. And now you go into Wendy's, it's like, I don't like the new modern look of it. They're very slick. They feel like a Apple storage or something. But I still do think the food is very good. The Cajun crunch chicken sandwich, if you like that sauce, you're gonna have a good time,

but it depends on whether you get good veggies. Today we didn't get good veggies. I'm gonna go for the visit today. Honestly, the visit today was like three and a half, three, but I'm gonna give one of these four and a half for us overall, because I know it and I love it. So I can't go. Okay, that's fair.

I give it a bump for knowing and loving it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight up, my food was bad. Your food was bad. Yeah, that's a bummer. Yeah's fair. I can't go home. I gave it a bump for knowing and loving it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight up, my food was bad. Your food was bad. Yeah, that's a bummer. I will say going back to your talking about the, you know, Dave Thomas is, and us having to know who all these CEOs are

and all of them having some sort of social media presence or being a part of ad campaigns or whatever. Another, to go back to the Hitler comparison, another guy who, the spirit of it. Yeah, let's, we gotta get back to that. The spirit of it. I really, we gotta stress, I said, if he wasn't doing Hitler stuff.

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. The spirit of it, what I get is, Papa John's was kind of that, right? Like Papa John Schnatter ended up being a complete piece of shit. Dude, I used to work at Papa John's. Wow, thank you for your service. Dude, I have a Papa John story. Tell us, please used to work at Papa John's. Wow. Thank you for your service. Dude, I have a Papa John story.

Tell us, please. I work at Papa John's. I fucking love Papa John's. I still love Papa John's. I would have been 16. I go to school the next day, worked. It was one of those situations, too, where we slowly had all our friends working there.

So it's just a fun hang. Yeah, sure. It's so fun. You go to work, you hang out with three best friends, you make pizza all day. It's fucking awesome. I bet you were a pretty good fun. You'd go to work, you'd hang with three best friends, you'd make pizza all day, it's fucking awesome. I bet you were a pretty good employee, am I wrong? I loved Papa John's, yeah.

I did demand a razor, I would quit and they'd go, that's fine, you're outing. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Because I found out my friend was making 5.35 an hour and I was making 5.25. I was like, I wanna meek at least as much as Brian. Yes, yeah.

Uh, but um, went to school one day, my friends are there, they're buzzing, they go, dude, he came in. This is in Dubuque, I go, who, what are you talking about? They're like, Papa fucking John came, and he just swung through the store, just swung through to say hi, and we all got photos with him,

and I was fucking crushed. I was like, call me. I'm at home, I'll come in. I want to, I never got to meet him. And they were like, so yeah, then you know. Which now in hindsight, a good thing. Good, sure. He did the Hitler stuff.

We don't like that. But it's before I knew about that. You know, it's like, Mike Lawrence has this other incredible story that, I think it's Mike Lawrence, speaking of disgraced mascots, fucking Jared from Subway. On 9-11, September 11th, 2001, as Jared from Subway was going around doing,

he was doing his inspirational story about his pants. Did it, the events from 9-11 happened, and he still was like, all right, well, here are my pants. Like, gave him a school assembly, being like, you too can lose weight, like me. And they're like, fucking what? Didn't acknowledge that.

That's my favorite 9-11 story. That's awesome. Yeah, sorry, I'm so sorry, I cut you off. No, you didn't, not at all. I wish we had those pants protecting the twin towers. Yeah. sorry. I'm so sorry, I cut you off. No, you didn't, not at all. I wish we had those pants protecting the twin towers. Yeah. Yeah. Since I remember.

Or the children that he was after. Oh, yeah. Oh. What I was just going to say is, and for some reason this image is on the Christian Science Monitor, but the- Home page. For me, a microcosm of the whole Wendy's thing

is the logos old and new yes Like like exactly what we're talking about Wendy's old-time hamburgers old-fashioned hamburgers logo is so great And they change that for this one That's just kind of this really kind of boring like italicize a pseudo comic sans font You know I'm pro sexy Wendy give me the sexiest Wendy you got This look this is like clip art. It really does. It just kind of half-assed,

and they've stuck with this branding, and I'm just like, I don't know, bring back the old Wendy's. Maybe that was working. Isn't it interesting that they took hamburgers out of the logo entirely, and they were like, well, burgers aren't really our thing.

Like, that old logo is very like burgers. We've seen that with brands, though, repeatedly, like Kentucky Fried Chicken, part of the, put the urban legend aside, part of why they did that was because to take chicken out of their branding and make it KFC. We certainly saw it with Dunkin'. It's not Dunkin' Donuts anymore, it's just Dunkin'.

Dunkin', yeah, I don't like that. And it's just like, I don't know. We like that this is, we like the totality of it. We like that the brand has both parts of it. This is the thing that we can all, we all know working in this industry is that like 95% of the people who are in charge of stuff or like, you know, creative executives or whatever

are like the dumbest people in the world. They're so fucking dumb. They're so fucking dumb. And if you think like, it's so funny when you see people be like, actors and stuff are paid too much or whatever. And you're like, sure, okay, whatever. The highest paid actor is paid too much money.

But when you look at the side of like executives and the creative executives who get paid way too much or whatever, and you're like, sure, okay, whatever, the highest paid actor has paid too much money. But when you look at the side of executives and creative executives who get paid way too much money. To come in and be like, let's get rid of hamburgers. Yeah. Yes, and they're some of the dumbest people in the world. They're like, hey, here's $60 million, sir. And there's some who are great, and there's some who listen to podcasts,

and there's a lot of great people in that world. I think you can safely paint with a broad brush if you're talking about executives in the industry. One of the smartest, I just found this out, executive pivots for the last second has to do with Fast and Furious. Because you know the original title, the working title, was Race War.

Yeah. It was gonna be called Race War. And you're not getting 10 of those. You know who would be a fan of that. Papa John. Very, very bad title. Yeah. And I only know that because I live right next to the Fast

and Furious gas station in Echo Park. And it is a nice place where I live. It sounds like a really bad place. I live next to the Fast Fierce Gas Station, but they have license plates in there that you can buy. People come and take photos, because the exterior thing that's like, Toronto or, you know, Dom.

And then there's a license plate that you can buy that says Race War. They have the old- They sell them at the- Wow. Market, Bob's Market. Yeah. So would Fast X be Race X?

I don't know. What would it, what would it, what would it? But just like, imagine buying a license plate that says Race War. Yeah. Somebody's doing it. I think you're correct that it's just not a franchise if it's called Race War.

No, it's not a franchise. That's a one-off. That's a one-off. It's like if our podcast was called Side of Guys, which we almost were. That was an alternate title, yeah. We're almost Side of Guys, which we almost were. That was an alternate title, yeah. We're almost Side of Guys. Wow.

Side of Guys is not in season 10. What a sliding, to bring it back to Bill Simmons, what a sliding doors moment for the podcast. What if we chose inside of guys, our second option over Doughboys. Yeah. Should we call this season of Doughboys DoughX or DX or something?

I think we should do something fun like that. DX. I've never really looked at our show as seasons, but yeah, let's do it. DX. Isn't that cool? I mean, isn't it almost done, or is the next one going to be DX?

DX is super cool. It was always cool when it was DX the wrestling. The wrestling faction. Yeah. We're both. We didn't even get into wrestling, but I'm a big. But I'm like, yeah, DX is really rad. Yeah, DX is rad.

We know that. Yeah, DX is the cool. Wise, were you a DX guy when you were younger or no? Oh, you were a WCW guy. I was more of a WCW guy, yeah. Really? I like Monday Nitro. Wolf Pack. I mean, I love the NWO, but man, did I switch hard to DX, man.

Those guys were so funny to me. They were very funny. They're good, they're some of our best entertainers. I say, I've said this many times, but Stone Cold Steve Auction is, Stone Cold Steve Austin, not Stone Cold Steve Austin... Stone Cold Steve Austin. Stone Cold Steve Austin is one of the top ten fictional characters of all time.

I love him so much. I was with... I was just with Carl Haas. We were in, like, San Francisco. We were driving back from doing shows. And we were bored. We ran out of music and things to talk about. And I was like, do you wanna listen to The Undertaker interview Donald Trump? Because he did. And we put it on and it was so fucking boring. It was straight up so funny.

I was like, these are two psychos. This is gonna be interesting. But Trump was just fascinated with how big he was. He's like, you're a big guy. That's crazy, you're a big guy. And so then like we got bored with Undertaker versus Trump and we went to Stone He's like, you're a big guy. That's crazy. You're a big guy. And so then like we got bored with Undertaker versus Trump and then we went to Stone Cold's podcast. Fucking pro. It was awesome.

He's the, he is a, he's a pro. He's a pro. He was so good. He's a podcast. Yeah. He's a, Simmons would be proud of Stone Cold. I fucking love Stone Cold Steve Austin. You know what? I gotta say this. Trump, he wouldn't be so bad if not for all the Trump stuff.

For real? Yeah. He's funny. If he wasn't doing his shit he'd be really funny With all the Trump stuff he wouldn't be so bad I mean that dude is hilarious man He's unfortunately, he is unfortunately can say stuff that's insane and make you laugh I mean it was he when he got in the Tesla and he goes everything's computer Yes that's insane That's you laugh. I mean, when he got in the Tesla and he goes, everything's computer. Yes, that's insane. That's what a baby would say. Yeah.

He's a president. That's baby talk. Because everything's a computer. It's all computers. Not everything's computer. Everything's computer. We went crazy. Our text chain went wild over the last few days.

It's so funny. It's so funny. That's so funny if he's not president. Yeah, yeah. If he's not president, it's so funny. Or even if he is president and he's just doing different stuff. You know what I mean? There is a world where, but yeah, you're absolutely right.

Unfortunately, Trump stuff is such a big part of it. Yeah, yeah. The Trump stuff. Inherent to being Trump is the Trump stuff. Did you watch that Trump movie? The good one? It was the just- Yeah, the apprentice was awesome.

My favorite movie of the year. I felt the same way. I loved it. I loved it. Yeah, I go in and I'm like, oh, I don't know. I want more Trump stuff right now. I watch it and I was like, oh, fuck,rentice was awesome. My favorite movie of the year. I felt the same way. I loved it. I loved it. Yeah, I go in and I'm like, I don't know if I want more Trump stuff right now. I watch it and I was like, ah fuck, it's fucking good. I think Stan should have won,

I think he should have won Best Actor. I think he was fantastic. You like him for Apprentice. I think his preter performance was in a different man. I loved him in a different man too. Those were my two favorite movies. Did you see A Different Man? I haven't yet.

You love it. It's great. Two great movies. I also think the dude Jeremy Strong crushed it as really, he was so good. Great performance. Great performance. Good movie.

And Maria Bakalova, right? Who plays the Ivanka, or Ivana. Wait, I do want to bring something up though, cause there is an aesthetic shift in that movie. So it goes from being shot on, or actually from having a look of like 16 millimeter film to having a look of like VHS. Casey has told me that was all in post. They didn't actually shoot that on video.

Oh wow. Yeah, I also loved The Apprentice and watching it. I was like looking at it like, is this actually video or did they do it in post? And I found like an interview with the cinematographer and they're like, we wanted to shoot it on the old like broadcast cameras from the day, but we decided to Make it they did a good job

I mean, like of course you'd rather it be that way, but if they did do a good job It's a great movie. Hey, that was our view of Wendy's. It's time for a segment. I'm gonna hit the music It's time for a segment. Emma, hit the music. All right. I'm Nick Weiger. I'm Nick Weiger. I'm Nick Weiger. And I'm Nick Weiger.

All this and Andy Rooney tonight on Fake Chews. All right, this is Fake Chews. It is compiled by Amelia. Mitch and Brooks must determine if the brand names following- I give Brooks credit for not saying anything. Just- Our Fake Chews. Just give Brooks credit for not saying anything. Our fake choose. Just staring there and being like, okay.

The options are new age food brand or tech startup. So I will read the name of a brand. Is this a new age food or is this a tech company? Okay. All right, first up, Kashi. I admit, okay, do we have to ring in? Yeah, buzz in with your name. Brooks. Isn't that, that's food. That's in? Yeah, buzz in with your name. Brooks.

Isn't that, that's food. That's food. Yeah, that is food. We both knew it. Yeah. All right, so that'll be the warmup. That'll be our tutorial. Tashi was easy.

Oh, because I got it right? No, because you both buzzed in and it wasn't clear on the rules. So we- That's not a warmup, I got a point. All right, you get a point. All right, Brooks gets a point. Point goes to the guest. All right, great.

Next up, Weetabix. Buzz in with your name, whoever goes first gets to guess. Yes. That's also food. Mitch, you are correct. Correct, Weetabix is a food. Next up, Weo.

Brooks, I just got, that's a startup. No, I'm sorry. Weo is a food. They make keto friendly meals and snacks. Wait, is this- What they make? That's a company then. No, no, it's a brand of food.

Yeah, but that's a company. That's not a food. Then these are all, Kashi's a company then. Tech startup, I think is different than company. Wait, are they fake? Are they, are it, is it a- No, your options are, I'm not sure why this is fake, Chews, but your options are new age food brand or tech startup. So you're either or.

So you guess, is it a new age food brand or is it a tech startup? I thought they were just made up stuff like Sasquatch. I guess the, in your head, in your head Amelia was the fake that it's not a food brand? I don't know. Okay. Slop quiz, it's a slop quiz.

Okay, so this is a slop quiz. All right, so take out. Look, she had to make this shit, she's tired. We've thrown too much at her this last week. So I guess take out the 60 minutes intro, this will be a slop quiz. Okay. I'm leaving it in. Okay, great.

Next up, so you're guessing food company or tech company? You both have a point. Okay. Citrix. Brooks, that sounds like a food company. I'm sorry, Citrix is remote office software. I hate this game. I was looking at food cause it sounds like citrus.

No, it's a good job on the, like yeah. Next up, Crunchbase. Mitch, I think that is a tech startup. I think it's a trick one. Mitch, you are correct. Crunchbase is an app to see- Getting fucking wrecked over. App to see how well other startups are doing.

It's only two to one. So it's a- Wait, it's a tech company that analyzes startups? It's a tech company that analyzes other startups. Right? That's what it is? Yeah. Great. Next up- Jemmy's leaving. Zevia. Yeah. Great. Next up. Jemmy's leaving.

Zevia. Oh, wait. Oh, Mitch. That is a food. It's like a fake sugary thing. It is a sugar-free soda. You are correct. That's a stevia-based soda. Next up, Ono. Brooks. That's a startup.

Ono is a food company. Ono makes overnight oats. It's three to one. Mitch has three. Brooks has one. Oh, thank God we counted the warm-up. Number eight, honey. Mitch. Well, hold on now. It is a food. But also, it's both.

It could be spelled differently. H-U-N-N-Y maybe. I'm not gonna give it to you, Mitch. Honey is not a company unless it's a tech company, which is a coupon finding browser extension. We've actually done ads for Honey in the past. We've done ads for Honey, yeah. How could I forget? 20% off use code Doe.

Amelia, did you notice, say this next one? Good. Good. I'm going to say it, and I'm going to spell it. OK, great. Nature's Find. Find, spell F-Y-N-D. Nature's Find. Buzz in with your name.

Brooks, that's food. You are correct. Nature's Find is meatless breakfast patties. Anyone's game. Mitch has three. Brooks has two. OK, we got a couple more here. Taking notes.

Joy. Mitch. I'm keeping score. Jesus. Mitch. You want me to keep score because you want to win. I do not want to win. Yes, you do.

I know. Joy. Mitch, food. Mitch, you are correct. It is a food. It is a plant-based milk and creamer. All right, last one. So the game is over. The game is over, but we can do this one for fun.

Don't. All right, we'll leave this one for next time. No, no, no, we want to hear it. We want to hear it. We want to hear it. We want to hear it. We're sorry. By Humankind. Brooks, food.

No, By Humankind is a tech company, a sustainable home and personal goods startup. Mitch wins by a score of four to two. All right. This edition of Slop Quiz. Hey, just like a restaurant, I value your feedback. Brooks was having such a great time.

That is a really, That's a good quiz. Just fumbled it right at, no, it's a great quiz. Just like a restaurant, value feedback, let's open the feedback. And we have an audio clip today. Wow. Hey, doughboys, this is Garrett in New Jersey.

Growing up, my dad always had a conspiracy theory about Wendy's that it was an implicitly anti-children fast food chain. No great toys, no special kids meals. And that was one of the reasons why it was such a success. My question for you is do you have any particular conspiracy theories, unfounded thoughts on any other fast food chains business models? Thanks. We got a lot of conspiracy theories. Wendy's is an

anti-children fast food chain. I never thought of it that way. That makes it great since I felt I did feel more adult. Yeah, you do it as a kid I did feel more adult going there. Yeah, you would as a kid though. Yes, and that, but that, like when you were a kid and you would go to Wendy's, you were like, oh, this is like quality, you still knew it. This is the nice one. Yeah, this is the nice one. Yeah, this is the nice one.

Yeah. Yeah. We have, look, we have a lot of food conspiracies, a lot of it has to do with Comet Ping Pong. Um, but, um, as far as fast food chain conspiracies, hmm. But as far as fast food chain conspiracies, hmm. Yeah, this is a little bit of a tough one because I'm trying to think if I have anything I actually believe or more just ones that I've heard.

I mean, I mentioned KFC earlier, the big thing they said with KFC is like, they have to call it KFC. This is what I remember from school because they don't technically serve chicken anymore. They serve a genetically engineered abomination that's got like six legs and six wings. Sure.

So they can maximize the amount of protein they're getting per bird, which is complete bullshit. I think a thing that we've talked about before is like, we've mentioned this and then it just did turn out to be true, where it was like, McDonald's Coke is better. And then like early on hearing like, oh, it is, it's actually is a better thing. And then it did turn out to just be the truth.

They do have a system that uses metal canisters. So yeah, so that's true. But one thing I do honestly believe, and I think it's just part of their business, these places' business plans now, and obviously see it the most with Yum Brands, with Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, and KFC, which I just mentioned,

is the artificial scarcity. That's a thing that they've written late, like, hey, we're taking this thing away, sorry, you can't have it anymore. Hey, it's back! They're using that, obviously, applying the McRib model at large, yeah. Which they got rid of, like,

they got rid of nacho cheese, like Doritos, Locos, tacos, or whatever. It's like, why? It doesn't make sense to get, oh, I'm sorry, they got rid of Cool Ranch, True, it's like Locos, tacos. Because theyos, or whatever. It's like, why? It doesn't make sense to get, oh, I'm sorry, they got rid of Cool Ranch, Doritos, Locos, Tacos. Cool Ranch, yeah. Because they can fucking bring them back in a year

and be like, it's back! Yeah, which is bullshit. It sucks. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's annoying. Yeah, I don't have a, I don't know. I mean, like the McDonald's fries, it's not in a conspiracy theory,

but how they used to use like Tallo or something. Yes, yeah. So that's why they were better. I don't know, I got nothing. I wonder if- This is a tough question. This makes me feel that Garrett in New Jersey has his own theory that he's hoping

this is a way to open up about. Like, doesn't that feel like the kind of question of like, when someone asks you a leading question of like, hey, do you believe in anything, you know, and you're just like, oh, you have something you wanna share. And you're trying to get me to open up so that you feel more comfortable sharing it.

Yeah, it's like me being like, what do you guys think about the, like, 91 Miami Dolphins? You know, got to know some people. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? I do want to hear what your conspiracies are. Is it Garrett?

Garrett, yeah. Garrett, I want to hear what your conspiracies are. But like, it's all the stuff that I know that's just true of like a Subway footlong is actually 11 inches or like if you leave a McDonald's burger out, like it won't mold. And you're like, okay, sure, I get all that stuff.

Why did Subway go away from the Tri-Cut? I love the Tri-Cut. Tri-Cut made it special. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Man, I want any of these places to deal with. Have you guys done potbellies? We have done potbellies. Potbellies is my favorite sandwich.

Wow. One of my favorite fast food sandwiches. So there was one potbellies that was- We did one with Colt Cabana. Yeah, but it was in, this was a deep pandemic episode and the only potbelly nearby is in Irvine, which I think is now closed. So it was like, we're during the pandemic,

we drove like 90 minutes to grab sandwiches and eat them at home. During the pandemic, wasn't it fun to drive around LA? It was, yeah, it was kind of fun to drive. Oh, like go to the beach in 20 minutes? Yeah. It was depressing in a way, but also it was nice to go. I mean, going out to Pop Elies

was the thing I would do for the day, so it was nice. I ended up walking a whole bunch, but I don't like driving, but I did like being in my car in that time, because I would be like things like, oh, I'm just going to get fast food, and then I'm just going to sit in my parked car, like by a park,

and this will feel like I'm going out somewhere, food and then I'm just gonna sit in my parked car, like by a park, and this will feel like I'm going out somewhere, you know? Oh man. All right. I don't know how to just say it. If I saw you just sitting in a car by the park, I'd be a little freaked out, that's all. I also wanna say this brings up a conspiracy for me.

Yeah. COVID, to me, I think so many fast food places used COVID as a thing to be like, we need to cut back on, and it was just the thing to save money for people in higher ups to make more money, and profit off of it wise. I think that so many fast food places since COVID

have the quality has dropped big time. I think you would agree with that, right? Yes. And I think that that's what they, they used COVID as an excuse. Like Wendy's was like, we need to change our model because now it's more fast food. Like it's more takeout than it used to be.

And I think that's just a fucking excuse to cheapen the product and for them to put more money in their pockets. So that is, there's a conspiracy for you. There is a- No dude, 9-11. I'm looking at some fast food conspiracy theories. The KFC mutant chicken one I mentioned,

this is one that the Starbucks logo is some sort of Illuminati shit. Oh, I've heard that. Yeah, that it's got some sort of sinister message. Also, if you hold the Wendy's cup a certain angle, you can see your titties. Right. Ah!

Didn't Starbucks bring back their original logo that was kind of- What's that? Didn't Starbucks bring back their original logo a few years ago and it was a little bit more like seductive. It was a little bit more risque. And like teachers got in trouble for having the cups in school and stuff.

Yes, yeah, this was a thing. Brooks pulled it off. Oh yeah. It's true, I guess we can admit that the myth bust is the truth. Wendy is not wearing underwear. She's the man's daughter. She's looking 60. She's old, why?

I'm 60. The Domino's pizza tracker is a sham is one that that's just completely fake. How about, do you think the pizza tracker feels fairly accurate? It does feel accurate. I just don't know, like, you would have to press buttons, daring it, I don't know. Cause I you would have to press buttons, daring it.

I don't know. Because I'm just, look, I'm going back to my time at Papa John's, and it's just, it's pretty quick, you know, but like, there just would be stations that you press, like, hey, we, I don't know. I don't know how that works. Yeah, I agree. You gotta get somebody from Domino's in here for that one.

Because this is interesting. Yeah, I wonder if that is, that is, that's a big one that I, it does seem like it knows, and also like GPS tracking is not that crazy. Like, GrubHub or whatever does it, and it's just based on the phone, right? So, like, doesn't it seem like a delivery driver, they could know if it was close, at least, Wags?

Well, I think out-for-delivery makes sense, because that's when you would scan it out. But I'm just like, you're not gonna be scanning the individual pizza after you put pepperonis on it. Kind of just on a mission to get it in, though. I think, like, it leaving and it's on your way to... are accurate. He'sonis on it. Sure, yes. You're kind of just on a mission to get it in though. I think like it leaving in it on your way to are accurate. He's too deep in it, he's just reading the conspiracies. Starbucks misspells your name on purpose.

Okay. Which is, it's meant as a marketing ploy because if they spell your name wrong, you're more likely to take a photo of it and post it on social media. That's really, that's a fun conspiracy. That is fun. It sounds like Starbucks read the game. It's a pick-up artist book.

I gotta go back to Starbucks, they're kinda mean. I gotta win them over. They neg you, yes. I feel like as far as misspelled names here, the most likely one is Amelia. Does your name get mangled in print? I usually get the E-M-I-L-I-A spelling. Got it, got it.

Not bad though. It's not badA spelling. Got it, got it. Not bad though. That's not bad at all. And that's a real spelling for the other version of the name. Yeah, sure, yeah. Well, there you go. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants,

you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DO. That's 830-463-6844. Can I have one? I have one last food, just because we're see. Pizzano Con is a right-wing funded program. I think it is. I don't think that's a conspiracy theory.

It's not a conspiracy theory at all. It seems pretty straightforward. It's in the name. Our producers Emma Erdbrake, our associate producers Amelia Moreno, our supervising video producers Casey Donahue, and our video editors Mike Dorfman. Doughboyz merch atchkinshipgoods.com slash doughboys and hey, our Patreon, the doughboys double

plus our entire pre 2018 back catalog over at patreon.com slash doughboys. Brooks Whelan, what a treat. Thank you so much for joining us. This was so nice. I'm a fan of you guys. And it's always fun to see you out in the wild. And so this coming to do this podcast was genuinely the highlight of my day. It was a long time coming. We'll do that.

A real treat for us. This episode is out May 1. If you have some dates to plug, and then also yours, your special, Alive in Alaska. Tell people about that. Just watch Alive in Alaska. I went up to Alaska last year, did eight cities, filmed them all, and then kind of pieced that together.

But the special is just an hour straight up in Anchorage, but it's freaking good. You and, I think, Rutherford FaceTimed me in Alaska. Yeah, I've been to Alaska twice with Rutherford. Yeah. It was New York Times best special of 2024. Wow, congratulations. One of the three was me, Ronnie Chang, and Nikki Glaser. And I'm like, OK, those guys are doing pretty good.

Yeah. So it's good. Great company. It is good. Deserved company, yes. It's good, is what I will say. I would love it if you watched it. Hell yeah.

Check it out, for sure. Yeah. There you go. Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. We'll see you at PizanoCon. Until next time, for The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating.

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