Doughboys - Wendy's with Paul Rust

Episode Date: February 25, 2016

Mitch and Wiger are joined in studio by Paul Rust, the star and co-creator of Netflix's Love, to discuss the burger business that Dave Thomas built: Wendy's. And, the guys partake in yet another edition of Snack or Wack.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Where's the beef? This three-word sentence became a ubiquitous pop culture catchphrase in 1984 in a Burger Chains ad campaign featuring an enraged elderly woman. The franchise had been founded by an Ohio businessman named Dave Thomas, who dreamed of opening a restaurant since he was eight years old and who would become an even more beloved pitchman than this inquisitive actress. Thomas had named his eatery after his daughter Melinda Lou, though she generally went by her nickname.

Inspired by a local haunt, QP, in Kalamazoo, Michigan, Thomas' burger joint prided itself on offering a quarter-pound patty shaped into squares and stacked one, two, or three high. The right-angled patty poked out of the edges of the bun, offering a character to its sandwiches as unique as Thomas himself. Though a relative newcomer at just 46 years in operation, compared to 62 for Burger King and 75 for McDonald's, this franchise has prospered in America and abroad, merging with and then spinning off Canadian icon Tim Hortons and growing to become the third largest burger business in the world, with its sandwiches, fries, and trademark frosties.

So where is the beef? There's one place you've always been able to find it. This week on Doe Boys, Wendy's. A very nice a cappella rendition of our theme by our guest will introduce in one second. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weigher alongside my co-host, Mike Mitchell, the Spoon Man. How you doing, Spoon Man? I'm doing great.

It's a big one today. Howdy, how? To everyone out there in Spoon Nation, and let me play this for you. Howdy, how? To Spoon Nation. We're like mad, we're like mad, bad guys. What? Oh, yeah.

Monster Squad is happy to have you. Two, three, five, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. Oh. Great. You don't like it? Is that the same drop as last week, or did you mix it up a little bit? No, last week if you paid attention was, oh, fuck, this happened the last time I did this. It's like some Namaste thing.

You got a meditation app on your phone that you didn't do automatically. Well, it stops me from killing myself after every one of these podcasts. Yeah, no, that was from an employee of the 10, I think it was again. Not a lot of people are setting drops, and you know what? I don't blame Spoon Nation. That one was great. I had a lot of fun with that one. And real quick, before we go any further, I've actually got to shout it out of my own

to the Burger Boy Brigade real quick. Jesus fuck. Hi, everybody. Hi, Dr. Nick. I got a fever. And the only prescription is my cow bell. Don't you hate pants? I served with Jack Kennedy.

I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy. Oh, my God. There is no Spoon. What the fuck? Interesting. Interesting drop from the Matrix there, Dan, thanks.

How about that? You sick fuck. Is there a movie where somebody says there is no burger? Yeah, there's kind of a problem. Matrix 2. Probably a good burger. It happens a good burger a couple of times. I probably got something to say as well.

Yeah, go for it. July 2nd, 1932. Cris echoed down the hallway of a small hospital in Atlantic City, New Jersey. In the emergency room, a young unwed single mother cries out in pain as her legs sit in stirrups. Obeying doctor's orders, she pushes, breathes heavy exhaustion. Obeying doctor's orders. Then pushes some more.

Until finally, the head of a young child begins to crown at the top of her stretched out vaginal cavity. And atop of that child's head, a single white curl. With one final push, the mother gives way to a bespectacled baby boy. A boy that was bespectacled. And white hair despite being an infant. A boy that would be given the name of Dave. And Dave would grow to become a man

who would eventually change everything. Everything for one, Mike Mitchell, for the fast food industry, and for the world. Today on Doughboys, we're talking Wendy's. Yeah! Thanks for reading your jerk off fanfic from the pregofetish.org forums. You sick fuck. I noticed you flipping through that you scanned by

probably eight screens versions of a riff of what the vagina looked like. I needed to look it up. I'll also say too that we started, our guest, who I'll introduce in one second, was stuck in traffic, so we started a little late. But you were still writing that intro right up until we started. So what was your plan if we'd started on time?

I would've winged it. Well, I'm calling it here. I'm calling a truce to the drops. I'm gonna lay the truce, take it, get rid of the drops. No more drops, I think they're your thing. I'm going to cede that ground to you. Don't do it. I think no, I think we had a nice little friendly rivalry here.

But there's a more important competition, if you will. On the horizon. I am pleased to announce, coming in March, the first ever Doe Boys Tournament of Chompians. What? All month long, we'll be pitting some of the chains we've reviewed over the past year against each other in a single elimination, NCAA Tournament Style Bracket.

More details to come on social media, but I just wanted to get that out there. It's gonna be a big event all March long. This is how I find out. You're finding out first. Our producer Dustin Marshall is finding out. This has been a secret that has been held by me, the Spoon Man, and our tournament commissioner,

friend of the podcast, Evan Susser. But we've got a great plan for this. I just found that out. And we'll get into that later. But right now, we've got a very important chain to cover with a very important guess. Also, yeah, we can't stress how big that is. The Tournament of Chompians.

My bottom lip is trembling. And my eyes are filled with tears. Let's introduce our guest. He's piped in a lot. He's a good friend. I'm sorry, I know. We love it. We love it.

There's no rules here. There's no restriction. You're not banned. No, I don't know. You could turn your mic off. You criticize him for being late. I was criticizing you. I was using that to say that we were,

if we'd started at nine o'clock, like we were supposed to, you were writing your intro like 20 minutes later. What was your plan? I thought I was gonna wing it. Yeah, fine. So I feel like my point was made. I'm sorry, Paul.

I was not trying to criticize you. Let's introduce you. Fucking dammit. It's because I also felt bad about being late. So I'm sorry, sorry. You don't need to apologize. Introduce him. You're very generous with your time.

Introduce him. I think he's gonna blow us. Top. I think he's gonna blow us. Top. Oh, God. This is a mess. He's the star and co-creator of Love,

our good friend. The show is now streaming on Netflix. Check it out. Paul Rust is here. Hi, Paul. Hi, Nick. Thanks for coming out. We appreciate it.

Oh, thanks for having me. I love Doe Boys. Oh, boy. What a nice thing to say. I love it. I love it. And we love love, baby. Oh, baby.

I listen to Doe Boys every Thursday. You do almost just throw up? No, I'm fine. Okay. I listen to Doe Boys every Thursday. Sometimes I get it on the drive to work. Sometimes it's not up yet. Yeah.

Right. But then... Paul, that sounded passive-aggressive. No. Of me. Of me. But it's nice because if I don't get in the morning on the drive back, totally got a Doe Boys.

Great. And is it true? There was a rumor going around. Was the original Doe Boy Homer Simpson? Because a lot of people have been saying that. And I've noticed you guys have been kind of cagey about like, you don't want to answer it. Well, you know that I used to work with Homer at one point down at the Simpsons.

A living embodiment of Homer. You would work with him. Roger Rabbit-style. And so I just tried out to bring it up too often because who knows, he could listen to the podcast. You never know. Your Homer stand-in, is that correct? Jesus.

You couldn't even get that one out. They said, this wimp? No, wait. I messed up that joke. I was going to be the... Yeah. Whatever. Homer's stand-in for a cartoon.

Shut up. Bitch, we love you. Oh, and just by me doing that theme song, you should use the true theme song. I was just kind of doing a... Well, I think we'll have a little flavor of your theme song. Well, maybe we'll rent it out after we play our theme song. Good. But we'll have a little bit of that.

So I think it'll play. It'll play. Because I will say... Someone's being a control freak tonight? Well, me? No. I'm not being a control freak. No, he's not.

He's corporate everyone's ideas. Yes, he's being a diplomatic. God, turn me into Chompians is canceled. What? Fuck this. This is how you tell me? This podcast isn't worth the effort. Let's take it one step further and cancel fucking all of those.

No, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't stepping on my Cassidy's amazing theme song. We love that theme song. Yes. Of all the podcasts I've listened to, it's my favorite theme song. Wow. It's quick for one. I'm going to hear it for seven seconds and then I'm going to get to my boys. But it's also good because it revs you up, man.

I agree with that. My Cassidy's a genius. Yeah. And speaking of control freaks, Mike Mitchell gave four rounds of notes on that theme song to Michael Cassidy who composed it for free. I'm not hearing the timpani, my boy. You know, Thursday night used to be the must see lineup on NBC. That's very true.

You're right. Doughboys has turned into the must listen lineup on Thursday morning and I just wanted that. Okay. I just wanted our theme song to be pitch perfect, baby. It is pitch perfect. Michael Cassidy did a great job. We love that theme song.

We get all sorts of compliments on it. We are indebted to him for it. Was I too graphic with my description of the vagina and stuff and the thing? No, it was fine. Your description of Dave Thomas' birth was fine. As long as it was the Wendy's Dave Thomas, not SCTV's Dave Thomas. There you would have stepped over a big line, buddy. In the comedy community?

He's gone. He's the Wendy's of the comedy community. Also, I want to say, I also want to say thank you to Jefferson Dutton, at Jefferson Dutton for making my Colombian drop last week that we used. That sounds like euphemism for drugs. I was at a Columbia drop. I was in the Clippers game last night with Maddie Smith from our guests from our Togo's episode.

I like your haircut. Oh, boy. Okay. When you go to a Clippers game, they cut your haircut for free. It's part of getting the ticket. At the Clippers game, they had a promotion where they did the whopper drop, which is they dropped, like, I thought they were going to drop actual burgers, but they just dropped coupons for burgers.

But I was like, yeah. The only guy in the audience who thought they were going to drop actual burgers. I thought they dropped burgers. I saw packages parachuting down and I was like, oh, fuck, there's a burger. But now I was just some sort of coupon. How many women and children did you push over? If I would have gotten a coupon, I would have gone, what gypsy did this? And then I wouldn't let anybody leave the Clippers game until I saw like a guy go, hey,

goodbye. Oh, clink, clink, clink, clink with coins. And I go, that's the guy who gypped me. What? Oh, it's 2016. I can't say gypsy anymore. That's a gypsy? Yeah, gypsy would promise you you're going to get a hot, hot burger, then you get a

coupon instead. Oh, my God. Wiger's afraid. Mitch, is Nick a gypsy? I love the gypsies. Wiger, say something for God's sake. I don't know where this is going. I don't know how to steer this ship.

I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I don't know where to take this. Well, you're our captain, captain. Okay, well, let's... We love you. Well, speaking of love, Mitch, you're on Paul's show. Let's talk about that working relationship a little bit.

What was it like to have this constant disappointment on set? Well, I would say it was quite the opposite. Oh, that's nice. There was five seconds there where I had multitude's ways of misdirecting you to land on an insult to Mitch, but I did it. He's fantastic on the show. I don't know. Mitch is a great actor, a very good actor.

That's one of the things when people respond to the show. I would say if you made a pie chart, I would say... You get hungry for charts? What do you say before chart? A graph chart, something. Oh, pie chart. I'll get you. Well, I thought you were going to do this sound again.

You could have said cupcake chart, too. Same difference. What have I got? Because you think they're the same. Oh, Nick just hit his leg in a disappointment. I am so upset. I'd like to know what the Venn diagram is of Doughboys and listeners and love watchers, but I would say it's actually a pretty big crossover.

I'm not being sarcastic. Hey, tweet at us. Hashtag, I watch love, I listen to Dough. And we can see. I watch love, I listen to Dough. Sure, yeah. Yeah, use that hashtag. We have actually some stills of Mitch have come in to the Doughboys Twitter,

which I check out, and there's one of you with some Lunchables. That's true. In my first scene, I got to eat some Lunchables. I don't know if they weren't supposed to be Lunchables in the universe of the show. Yeah. Can you say la su? I can sing it. I can't say it.

That's why I have to sing it like that. I apologize. They were some sort of lunchables. No, I apologize. I'm not the Paula guy. Is this the gypsy again? Yes, I got to eat. Well, actually, I wasn't directed to eat it, but I still did eat it.

I got to eat some ham, Lunchables ham. It was good. Great. And it's a funny scene. And Paul is great on the show. So Paul is one. The ham was fake, and Mitch was told that it was fake. So I don't know why he ate it, but...

I also ate a lot of other props that weren't even food. I don't care. That man who was in the scene with you. No, Mitch is fantastic on the show. He was so good that he did one scene, and we're like, let's bring this guy back. And then we brought the guy back, and he was so good, we said, let's have him fall in love with one of the main characters. And then that was so good.

Mitch is coming back for season two. Yeah, baby. Regular Drea de Mateo. Drea de Mateo and the Sopranos pilot famously had a scene as a hostess, and they were like, oh, we really like her. And they brought her back as Chris Multisanti's girlfriend, and she had a multi-season arc as a major character. So you'll eventually be murdered by Joey Pants.

It was actually, I think it was Silvio Dante in the woods. But I know for a fact he will be murdered by Joey Pants. Bitch in real life. Well, Paul, today's a big one, and you're one of the, I would argue, maybe the funniest guy that I know, almost super, super talented. And we're really happy about you and Leslie, who's super talented. My beautiful wife. Your beautiful wife.

My beautiful, talented wife. Your beautiful, talented wife and cool. And we're really excited for you guys. Yeah, she is cool, too, huh? Yeah, she's very cool. She's cool. She's cool. She's cool.

And also, you're a super talented and great in the show, and we're very happy for you. And Gillian is great in the show. Yeah. And Claudia is great. Everybody's great. Great performances all around. Fantastic performances. Mm-hmm.

Thank you, Mitch. I've, from the first Doughboys, I've been imagining what my Mitch invocation will be. Because you do do this, have you noticed, Nick? He does this nice thing when I guess comes in that he knows. Yeah. If he doesn't know them, they don't get this. They'll take a moment to kind of go like, I like this person because they do this. And then he lists sort of their qualities, and it's nice.

And I was hoping to get it, and I did. Thank you. I'm happy to give it to you. You are one of the funniest, if not the funniest. I should just say you're the funniest guy I've ever met. And like, you know, when you're in here, it just makes, reminds me of like how... Sorry, Louis C.K. It reminds me of how unfunny Nick Weiger is.

Not true. Why is it so funny, dudes? Compared to Paul, I will take it. Paul is one of the funniest, I agree. There's no comparison to be made there. No. But I... Weiger is white bread, and you're raisin bread.

I don't think raisin bread is that much of a compliment. Yeah. That's pretty good in the world of bread. Really? You think raisin bread isn't as that much of a... I think I'd rather have white bread in most circumstances. In the world of bread. Maybe cinnamon bread then, okay?

Why are you going to these weird sweet bread? You think you're eating a fucking sandwich? You put like, you make a grilled cheese with raisin bread? And jack off to your prego porn? Hold on a second. I didn't say that we were making sandwiches out of these. You jumped to your own conclusion that you'd be making a sandwich out of your slice of bread. Oh, sorry.

Yeah, I'm eating a plain slice of white bread. That's just, yeah, I'm doing that. I will reference episode 56 where Mitch said that one of his favorite things at a restaurant is just a slice of bread with butter. I believe that was last week's program. I think actually that might be a future episode. That's it. I foretold the future.

Let me look at... Let me look at... I got to go into my trance to see that. Are you getting a vision? President Trump? He's the guest? He's the next guest that is eating raisin bread. I love raisin...

I can't do it. I love raisin bread. Donald Trump's impression of Bill Clinton. You're fired, Monica. I will say not to... And also just to shout out... I might as well do it now. Yeah.

Make things sad for a few seconds ago. A shout out to our good friend Harris Whittles who passed away a year ago. We didn't mention on the last podcast. But he used to make a rank of... He used to put himself in the top five for his people. Yeah. And he put you in that. And he put you in that.

I don't think he did. He did. Really? When I was over at his house, he put you in the top five for his people. Let me tear it up right in front of you guys. Sorry. Fucking pussy. Because I always thought it was like the greats and then Harris.

He did put... I mean, the other thing about it as much of a joke as that was, he also was very serious. No, yeah. That's what I liked about it. But you definitely made his top five. Good. You made it like six hundredth. Actually, I think I was like, what about why?

And he said, who is why? Oh, that's a terrible way to wage your friend's death. It's to hurt the feelings of those who are still living around you. I just want to highlight, too, as this podcast gets progressively darker and grimmer. That bitch last week said, we're all standing in the long waiting list to die. But you had some cheer, which was like, restaurants are a nice treat as we stand on this long waiting line to death. And I mean, I've said this before, but if my casket was ready now, I'd probably willingly

walk into it. But you know what? This podcast can be fun. It sounds like next month is going to be fucking awful. But I was very happy to work on your show and people are loving it. People love the show. Everyone loves love. Everyone loves love.

How do you feel? Is that making you happy? It's got it, right? After all that work that went into it? Yeah. Or is it sad? It's going to be happy because I remember when I did the math last year and realized like, oh, season one's going to be coming out right before we start doing season two.

I hope the reception's good because it's going to be a big, it's going to hurt morale. Sure. Having to either individually or with crude gear up and do a second season if everybody's like, oh, nobody really likes this. But so it's been good for morale. Yeah. But of course there's pressure now. I got to make this second season.

You can't jump the shark? Yeah. Well, I will literally jump the shark. Oh, no. Sorry. A shark jumps me. So does that count? No.

I think you're clear. Cool. Mark Cuban? Oh, my God. Mark Cuban jumps me while jizzing and sort of drizzles jizz on my, I guess would be my back. It would be my face if I'm on my back. And then he, and then another shark buys that idea.

Kirkavink sweeps in. All right. I want to get into both crack me up. And all I'm hoping for in this, whatever, 60 minutes or so that we do maybe more. Let's try to beat the record. I'm scared. I'm saying that. All I want to do is for the listeners, recreate what it's like when it's just the three of

us in a room or at a bar, maybe backstage at UCB. Oh, God. Just having a jam session with our ideas, our jokes. And maybe let, I hope this isn't insulting, but the normies. Let them know kind of what goes on when you're with the kings of alt comedy. Oh, my God. Oh, you can hear every single person throw their iPhone onto the ground and smash it in anticipation.

That was a joke. I was being cheeky, monkey. Let's talk about this week's chain. This is a big one. This is one of the ones where I just, you know, the cliche is heavy is the head that wears the crown and thinking of the responsibility of evaluating Wendy's is one of the red pigtails, my boy. Mm-hmm.

Heavy lies the head of with the red pigtails. Oh, okay. I get what you're saying. I get, yes. Heavy is the cartoon mascot Wendy's, the caricature of Dave Thomas' daughter. Because she has red pigtails. Because she has red pigtails. Okay, all right.

You didn't get that, Wager. You idiot. I thought, like, it was just like a flowery addition to the metaphor that I'm not familiar with. I didn't realize you were directly referencing the Wendy's mascot. So, no, I didn't get it. And you left your dome light on tonight. I did.

I left my dome light on my car. I had two instances. I was sitting in my parked car. I arrived a little early and a gentleman came and opened the back door of my car and said, like, hey, are you Mike? And I said, no, I'm Nick. And he was like, oh, but are you here for Mike? And I was like, no, I'm just sitting in my car.

And he was like, oh, oh, my God, I won't get him. Sorry. And he thought it was his Uber. So it's just like a stranger open the back door of my car. It turned out to be a gentleman who was here at the facility. And so it was an understandable mistake, but just like a very curious situation for me to be in. I wasn't that alarmed.

I thought, given a quiet parking lot in Burbank, he was like, hey, I looked on Craigslist. You're giving me a hand job or something. Right? Right? But that wasn't the case. No, not the case, no. But then Mitch arrived a little later and informed me that I'd left my dome light on in my string. I think my exact words were, hey, your dome light's on and there looks like there's a pile

of semen on your passenger side. Pile? I think that is very difficult to pile, even if you have a lot of. It's like a shaving cream sort of thing. I had a friend and Boy Scout camp. I went to Boy Scout camp and I had a friend and he told me what I didn't realize was a lie until years later. But he said that he caught his older brother, who I also knew jerking off, and that he came

on the floor and he saw all his sperm squiggling around. Oh my God. And I was like, oh, it's crazy. And then years later, I was like, oh, that's no. That's amazing. An act of representation reality. Is that why you were afraid to finally orgasm until you were 27? The other thing, the other cum mistake from my childhood.

Cum mistake. Hashtag cum mistake. Yeah, hit us up with your hashtag cum mistakes at Doe Boy Squad. I was in fourth grade and my friend Larry came up to me and he with like a settle this sort of Tony's like, he's like, Nick, back me up. When you get a girl pregnant, don't you have to piss blood in her pussy? Oh my God. And I said, to make it happen or to reverse it.

Yeah. To get a girl pregnant, you got to piss blood in her pussy, right? And I was like, I think it's, I think it's sperm. I didn't really know. But I was like, I think it's sperm. And then Larry was like, yeah, man, sperm is blood. Don't you know that? All right.

Where's a good point to pick up this edit? Yeah. If you're out there and you've got yourself a Wendy's value meal, you're ready to dig in. Apologies for that tangent. But let's talk about Wendy's. So Paul, what is your, as you're both rubbing your dummies and licking your lips. Paul, what is your connection to Wendy's? Well, I didn't have a Wendy's growing up.

Oh, interesting. Sort of sets a tale of, you know, rosebud in a way. Gotcha. I mean, it would work better if I had had Wendy's and then I got taken away from my family and then I couldn't have Wendy's anymore. Yes. That would be more rosebud-ish. But I think this is just as good.

This is a good story. But I knew of it through just, because I lived in a town of like 10,000 people. This was Lamar's Iowa, correct? Correct. And so I don't even know what the nearest Wendy's was. It might have been like an hour or so away. But my first, in terms of my first first experiences, like when I was downloading things in my brain, there was like some Wendy's merchandise that was like in my basement.

Like maybe like a fake like plastic French fry holder. And I remember just kind of being intrigued by, this is the most insane way to get into like what your entry point is. Sure. But it was like, it looked good. Like it looked, I knew what it was for. I knew it must hold French fries and the French fries must be really good. And it had the logo of Wendy on it.

I, guys, even at this young age, I was hetero. Oh my God. And I thought this girl was a real cutie. So it sort of captured my, and we always had that. And it was next to an old HBO guide. Remember when HBO would have the guide. Oh yeah. If you subscribed it.

So we didn't have HBO anymore. And I had never been to Wendy's. And yet in my basement, we had this HBO catalog and a Wendy's merchandise for two things that I never got to experience. And in the HBO catalog, it was like a, their big movie they were shown was Tootsie. Ooh. That's a good movie. You can kind of see how I'm drawn associations here of a Dustin Hoffman with a red wig.

And a young girl named Wendy. Was Dustin Hoffman, was he the original Wendy? Was he the model? No. He was, Wendy had a sister and he posed as her secretly within the Tavis family for like six years. And he said it was for research for a role. I'm putting that in quotes because that movie never came out.

So I think he just like wanted to live with Dave Thomas and Wendy, which is, I'm sorry Mr. Hoffman, that was off grounds. He probably wanted square burgers. My Wendy's story, I remember one of my earliest memories of it. And Wendy's goes back maybe as long as I've been on this earth. I remember it. I'm saying I remember. I think it did.

I remember Wendy's as long as I have been alive. Oh, gotcha. I remember a lot of being in the restaurant. Every time I went to Wendy's, I would go inside the restaurant. And they sell a little salad bar at the restaurant and you could get a little salad. And it was kind of like, of all the fast food places, it felt like kind of like the proper family quality food. And I was just, I loved Wendy's since I was a kid.

It blew me away. And also I could tell that like my mom was a fan of Wendy's and she would get like the baked potato or she'd get like the chili. And it just felt like a tier above the other fast food places, McDonald's and Burger King. This place was kid tested and mother approved. Just like Wendy's. Just like Wendy's. But yeah, that goes a long way.

Like when you're a kid and you go to a restaurant and you can tell your parents genuinely like it. It's like a cool kid taking to the mall and being like, hey, Suncoast videos is pretty cool. Oh, I gotta get in there. Guys, I think what I'm learning from this is that we all come to Wendy's differently. Because we were not a Wendy's family. We did not go there growing up.

We would go, if we were gonna go to a fast food burger place and sit down and dine in, we were maybe gonna go to a Carl's Jr., which also used to have an in restaurant salad bar. But we weren't usually going to a Wendy's. Wendy's was something I would go to with school chums. That was a thing like in middle school. I'd like be like, oh, I never get to go to Wendy's. I'll go to a Wendy's. And I agree with you.

It's like a classier sort of establishment within that tier. If you're talking about McDonald's, Burger King. Even if you lump in Carl's Jr. Hardee's in there and that sort of value burger, fast food burger segment. Wendy's, I feel like, is just a little bit classier. It held a little bit higher esteem. Everything feels a little bit cleaner. That said, I did find a used condom hanging over the edge of a trash can in the Long Beach

Wendy's once. But other than that, it's usually... How do you think Dave made Wendy's? By wearing a condom? He was throwing it away. He was fucking his wife in the bathroom of the restaurant that he founded. Dave's Wendy's. Dave's Wendy's.

Rip the condom off. Roddog it a little bit. Roddog? That said, I'm going to name my fifth daughter Wendy's. Roddogs and broodogs. You say you love the dog words. I love dogs. I think they're adorable animals.

Have you ever sucked down a case of broodogs and then gone off and Roddog? Broodogs is if you haven't listened to previous episode, it's my shorthand for beer. I don't think I coined that, but it is a term that I... No, you definitely did not. But there is something like Wendy's. I like that they have... Mitch, you mentioned the baked potato. You mentioned they have the chili.

I like that they have that. I like to get fries, but I'd rather get fries with burgers. I like that I can get a baked potato with a chicken sandwich. I like that I can mix it up a little bit, you know? Yeah, I definitely agree with this partner brain that says Wendy's is classier than McDonald's and Burger King. That makes me wonder why. Is it because they offer a baked potato and a baked potato just inherently feels classier? You know, the square burgers are something different.

And there's just the quality of it, I think, especially in the 80s. I feel like Wendy's has become... became a little bit more like the other fast food restaurants as time went on. But it felt almost... It felt like the closest, almost like a fast food place that felt like a sit-down restaurant. There was something about it, and I don't know if that... I tip my hat to Dave Thomas because I think that he was maybe the greatest mascot of all. You know, I know he was just the owner or whatever, but the great...

The spokesperson? Yes, the spokesperson. Maybe the greatest image for fast food there ever was. More than Dan Cortez for Burger King? Even more than Dan Cortez himself. Wow, fighting words. You hear that at Dan Cortez MTV on Twitter? Please, Doughboyz fans, don't tweet at Cortez and get a war going.

We can't have that going on. You guys haven't ever used your status as a way to sort of... announce a fatwa on people you don't like, right? Yeah, we haven't cyber-bullied anyone aggressively. I mean, I guess we could do that, but I don't know. I feel like that's against the spirit of what we stand for. How about Wendy? The Living Wendy. You have to bully this restaurant that we obviously like and have fun this for.

Let's bully his beloved daughter that he named his franchise after. Sure. Yeah, Dave Thomas is the king. He's awesome. He's awesome. So sweet that he named his business after his daughter. And got a little bit of a late start in life. You know, like he didn't open this restaurant as a dream he had as an eight-year-old boy.

He wanted to have the biggest restaurant in the world. A white-haired eight-year-old boy. A white-haired eight-year-old boy who clawed his way out of his mom's twat. That is not how my opening went. That is perverted. And his first words were gaga-goo-goo burger empire. What? It was. Okay.

Don't judge him for that being his first words. But it was a little later when he got that restaurant started, and that's okay, you know? And I think that's, you know, we remember him as an older man, and I think that's where most of his success was as this gray-haired man, as this gray-haired business owner. And he put himself in his commercials. And you know, a lot of times, you know, Papa John does that. And we're like, get out of here.

Get out of here, Papa John. Yeah, Papa John sucks. We don't want to see you. We don't want to look at you. We don't want to hear you have to say. Papa John is an insult to Dave Thomas. He really is an insult to Dave Thomas, his legacy. But Dave put himself out there, and it always felt like Ernest and sort of homespun,

and he had like a natural charisma. But he wasn't like, he wasn't this over-the-top like character. He was just sort of like a very nice, folksy man. And he had an association to welcome you into your home. Yeah, and he had sort of associations of a grandpa. Yeah, he was. It's like going over to Graham's house. He makes a good burger.

I think also the inside of Wendy's brought up when I would get there eventually, as I aged, that the inside sort of reminded me of what I really liked, you know, and you guys has a highly controversial Pizza Hut episode. Oh, yeah. That when Pizza Hut used to be sort of a warm place with like a fireplace. A parlor. Yes, and pictures of beer, and you could go there with your family. I feel like Wendy's also had that sort of association that you could go,

and it was like, what you're saying, it felt a little bit more about dining in rather than driving through. My association was, and I think this was partly because of the salad bar, but I think there was a point in my kid brain when I was like, Oh, Wendy's and Sizzler, those are the same. And Sizzler is certainly aiming to be like kind of a different category of restaurant. I mean, it has counter service and as a salad bar, but it's trying to be more of a sit down restaurant.

But Wendy's kind of has that, that just a little bit more. I keep saying, I don't want to keep using the word class, but that's kind of like what it feels. It's like just, it feels like it takes care of itself a little bit more. It feels like it's like a, it's like when you go into someone's home and they've kind of like decorated the place nicely and it's cleaned up, you're just like, oh, this is like a comfortable place to be. And that's, that's how I feel inside of a Wendy's restaurant.

A side note with going over to somebody's house and is it clean? I was thinking like, did you guys have this experience where if you brought friends over to your house and your mom came home and she didn't know people were coming over, if the house was messy, she would be like, oh my gosh, you invited your friends over and this house is a pit. And in my mind, I would go, I don't care. These guys don't care. Mom, go easy on yourself.

Nobody cares. But now as I get older and inch towards adulthood, I do think like, oh yeah, I wouldn't want some kids coming over. They're going back to their house and be like, hey, Papa Russ was a real shithole. See, you guys are all grown up. I'm still cool and young, so that doesn't bother me at all. You think I'd call your place a shithole? I have kids over my house all the time.

I don't care how it looks. They never leave the house, but they do come in. Hold on. We're pushing my character to the dark side a little bit. Well, you had that insane joke about Weiger with that. He goes into a movie with bugs following him. Wait, remember that? I remember it was so baffling.

Was it like a Pied Piper thing where children follow him? Yeah, but it was like bugs. It was bugs? You called me a Pied Piper of bugs in a previous episode? Hashtag Mitch's Bug Joke. You can remind me what it was because I remember the moment you're like, and you were kind of, you thought it was distasteful. Like the suggestion was that you were going into like, fuck the bugs.

Oh yes, I do remember this moment. And actually he was upset at that moment. I remember it seemed like Nick was jetty-widdly like, don't, that's too far. When he's like ant style bugs? Yeah. Was there a Nemish? Was there a Nemish movie?

I'd be like an allusion to you like fucking bugs in one episode. Yeah, that is gross. I don't want to hear that shit. Disgusting. Hey, the anatomy probably fits. Suggesting he has an ant-sized penis. You got a little ant dick, what can I say? Anyways, moving on.

Dave Thomas is a wholesome man. Something that obviously you or I are not. And he also has never gotten in trouble, I feel like, like people from, like he's never done any really dumb things. Here's the other thing that's crazy about that. I read the opening. He was born in 1932, I think I said. Yeah.

Even that old, he should actually maybe even still be alive, but he died like 20 years ago or something. 1935. He didn't die 20 years, I think he died in the early 2000s. But yeah, it wasn't, he had a long, prosperous life. I feel like a man who dies in his, it would have been his 70s that feels about, you know, like the average lifespan of an American man.

I'm just so grateful he didn't have to experience the stock market crash of 1918. Cause I don't think he would have started Wendy's. Yeah. He would have been like, yeah, I'm going to do the thing that'll eventually collapse. Cause I was born during the years of it happened like that. And he didn't, he didn't see the financial crisis of 2008 either.

So he just kind of dodged two bookends. So Nick, by your standards, my dad didn't die too young. He died, he was just old enough to die. I think Mitch, I wasn't saying that. You made me feel bad. I apologize. Famous New Yorker, New Yorker film critic Pauline Cale, somebody who's, you have associations with Pauline Cale,

they're New York. One and the same, Pauline Cale in New York. She died like September 8th, 2001. Whoa. So she never saw what happened to her city. There's a fact like that, I think you told me Paul. Oh. Which is that.

Seth MacFarlane almost got. Peter Griffin to his birthday party. It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't the famed story of Seth MacFarlane almost getting the star of his show, Peter Griffin to attend his own birthday party. We know that legend that's at the top of his Wikipedia. It was instead that John F. Kennedy never heard the Beatles. Right.

Which is like, you associate in the 60s, you associate these two things so like, oh yeah, that's all part of the same pastiche, but they'd never overlapped. It's so weird that he always quoted them, though. Yeah, it's, I mean there, I thought about it later and I'm like, they hadn't arrived in America yet. Okay.

Maybe some hip cat from Britain was like, hey, Johnny K. Check out these rim diggers. And then they could play. But yes, that and that Kurt Cobain most likely was never on the internet. Whoa. That's interesting.

These two things that represent in your mind in the 60s and 90s, but the twain never shall met. Weird. Yeah, shant met. That's really crazy. And I suppose that you think John F. Kennedy and Kurt Cobain lived a long enough life swagger? No.

No, they were both fuck. They were both gunned down in their primes. They were assassinated. Well not, wait. One by his own hand. One by his own hand. Jesus Christ. Or by Courtney Love, we're not sure yet.

Okay. Courtney Love killed John F. Kennedy. She was on that grassy knoll. This is, we're celebrating the product, the empire of Dave Thomas, a man we greatly admire. Yeah. The true innovators in fast food, with just like this dark fucked up episode.

I feel like it's not the right way to handle it. All right, fine. I think it's because we're afraid to love whites, you know? I think we have such fondness about it. Yeah. That our typical millennial cynicism kicks in. There's three millennials here. Okay, well let's get into Wendy's.

Let's get back on the positive track. Let's talk about what we like about this place. Do you have like a, Paul, do you have like a regular order? Do you have a normal menu item that you'll get there? Most definitely. To a degree that could be categorized as obsessive compulsive disorder. Wow, okay. I get the number one, the single with cheese and french fries.

Nice. And a Coke. Sometimes I'd say maybe 15% of the time I'll throw in a little chocolate frosty. Now, see Paul, you're a very lean man. Thank you. You've always been very, you know, very wiry and very good shape, but I feel like you have kind of a diet that includes a lot of fast food. I'm not sure if that's changed over the years,

but that's sort of the Paul that I know. But it sounds to me like part of how you make it work for yourself is portion control. Because you don't get that triple with cheese. You don't get that double baconator. You get yourself the single. You get, I am assuming, a smaller medium fries and a Coke. You're not, you're not upsizing to large. Right.

So it sounds like you're having a reasonable amount of food. Maybe that's the secret. I hope that is true. You saying that to me right now, I'm like, maybe that's how this is working out. I always thought it was just metabolism was eventually going to slow down and my habits would stay because I do eat poorly. Yeah. I don't eat nutritionally.

Highlighted a little bit on the show Love. They show you go snack crazy at one point on the show. The word snack crazy flash up on screen so you know. And I was like, oh, that is very much. That is, you do a lot of people. A pig out. A lot of people talk behind your back about it. That you love snacks.

But you know what? As a man who loves snacks, I'm right there with you. Yeah. I mean, I'm more snacks than whack. That's for sure. But you know, I guess across the board, all fast food places I eat, I probably do eat the one that is the smallest portion. Interesting.

And I think in a weird way, it's a holdover from just when I started eating there when I was 1617 and could go on my own. I was just a little shit. And so I wasn't, I was just eating the stuff that would make me full. And then strangely, I fell into a habit. Yeah. Just ordering the same stuff because I'm like, it's a bad thing. I mean, I eat the same thing at McDonald's all the same time too.

Because it's just like, oh, I know I like this. I don't want to risk it. These meals cost $50. Sure. I can't take over the risk. No, I could easily have a couple losses. But yeah, maybe it is portion control. I never thought about it that way.

So if you go to Wendy's, instead of say like a full portion, you'd go two quarter portions. Yeah. I'll usually bring my buddy Simon Pagelog and I'm like, hey, put on the suit. The Unkar Platsuit. Yeah, get on the Unkar Platsuit. Get in the Oliver Platsuit. The Oliver Platsuit. Yeah, that was originally, that's why his name's that.

It was supposed to be Oliver Platsuit. Oh, interesting. The same, wait, the same character as the food critic from John February's chef. Mix the portion thing, track. No, it wasn't supposed to be Oliver Platsuit. But yeah, no, I would, yes, I would do, and then I would put water on it and it would grow into something. Did you like Force Awakens, Paul? Let's talk about it.

Okay. I did. Sorry, Mitch. I liked it too. That was a recording that we just piped in. I liked it too. I liked it too. No, I loved it, man.

Lots of fun, right? Lots of fun. I got on board after my first view, and the first viewing was a little tepid. Second viewing was like, wait, this is great fun. And then third viewing was like, I am having a great time. You could almost say that he changed his opinion on it to make himself not want to kill himself constantly. In a weird move where he's the most cynical of all, he pretended to like it for the rest of his life. I'm pretending to like it.

I have a genuine affection for J.J. Abrams, The Force Awakens. Hey, man, I've always wanted to be in a Star Wars movie, but... Oh, cool. You can't see this, but Mitch just made a sound with his mouth. Oh, and he did it again, and he's moving his fists as if he's holding a lightsaber. He's not. I could have done that in the movies, but you know what? I gotta be true to myself.

I didn't like The Force Awakens that much. I just didn't like it. Maybe at all, I guess I could say. There's moments in it that I like, and I got in a lot of trouble on this podcast. People hated me, and they think I'm wrong about it, and that's fine. But you know what? People can have their opinions. Stop, get off my back.

I think that some of the prequels aren't as bad as you say they are, even though I don't think they're good either. But you're too mean to the prequels, you know? Leave me alone. Let me get off this podcast. I don't want to do that anymore. Oh, sorry, Mitch. I just didn't like Force Awakens that much. But it seemed to be that you would get upset about the people who did like it.

Yeah. Well, I got upset that Weigert completely changed his mind on it. Oh, it was the flip-floppery. It wasn't the flip-floppery. You were upset by people who would defend the movie, period. I think your first words about it was Force Awakens is fucking wack. I didn't like it immediately. Then one week later, I like Force Awakens.

I saw it a second time. I went to an IMAX screening with David Phillips and Joe Saunders. We had a great time. And we went to Johnny Rockets beforehand. We got a souvenir picture taken at Universal CityWalk. It was a wonderful evening. Oh, and you were at CityWalk. Yeah.

This sounds like the worst day of my life. No. You got Joe Saunders, David Phillips. Great guys. Already starting off at a low. Three cool dudes. Oh, boy. All right.

Whatever. Force Awakens is out. Star Wars Land is happening. I like BB-8. Who gives a shit? BB-8's great. It's all cool. Just like it.

It's fun. It's all cool. Just like it. You know what was also cool that people just liked the Nazis? Yep. That's true. That's very true, Paul. Paul's right.

Yeah. Paul's right. Paul's right, guys. All right. You know, my Wendy's, I really, really do like, I get their fries a lot. And I think they have really good fast food fries. I think we talked about before about Mount Freymore. If they have like a special fries thing, like if they have like a, they had like an Abonero

cheese fries for a time. If they have like any sort of special sort of like, or like a bacon cheese fries, like some sort of, you know, more appetizer style fries with a little substance to it. Like that, because I want to try it out. But just their regular fries with just, you know, their seasoning or a little bit of ketchup, I find very, very satisfying. But I do find myself getting that baked potato a lot. And I think it's because it's the one fast food place where I can get a baked potato.

And it's, I think like, no, I bet you said baked potato. I did. I said baked potato the second time. I baked potato. I say potato. I don't know why I went with potato without one. That should be the more you say potato. I say potato.

You're right. Because people don't say potato. But people do say potato sometime or tater. Yeah. Look, I'm going with potato. I don't know why I tried to be folksy there. I like their baked potato. And on my last visit, I got something which I don't normally get.

I normally get that sour cream baked potato. But I made a little bit of an audible and I got the bacon cheese baked potato, which has some cheese sauce and some bacon on it. It's a $1 up charge on the combo meal. But pretty good. I thought it was pretty tasty, pretty flavorful. I really like that. You know, I think they have a good cheese sauce there.

It's got a good texture to it, good cheese flavor. Their bacon is, I feel like, very, like in terms of all, bacon's kind of played out, but their bacon in terms of fast food quality is like way up there. It's great. It's like top tier fast food bacon. I occasionally do the bacon cheeseburger because I know the bacon's good. Yeah. And I love the sour cream and butter on a baked potato.

It's really, it's very tasty. It's good. I wish more people did it. And it's the same charges. And if you get in a combo, it's the same charge as fries. You can swap out chili and get a side salad. You get a baked potato. All of those for the same price in the combo meal.

I just, like, mix it up. Hi, what about you, Mike Mitchell? You like the potato? Or does it remind you of the famine? Yes, my great grandparents, I think, or great, great grandparents had to deal with the famine at one point. Sorry. I'm sorry.

No, that's fine. I got here. It's good. When I went to Ireland, I went and saw the old Donovan family farm. And there was this guy named Gus. And he was, like, related to me somehow. We were driving out on the Ireland countryside and we met Gus. And he was kind of like a slobby.

His name was Donovan? Because it was my, or I guess Murphy, my grandma's side of the family. Oh, uh-huh. And we saw his house. It kind of was filled with, it was kind of filled with junk. And he was, like, the Ireland version of me in a lot of ways. Slobby and shirt head stains on it. Host a mildly popular podcast with a leaner friend who does all the work.

Weaner friend is right. He's on, he does my voice for Love Island. He tubs it over. Oh, God. Oh, Ireland. I see. So anyways, besides that terrible story that I shouldn't have gone off on a tangent and told. Well, I pimped you into it by doing the Irish accent and stuff.

My Wendy's, as Weigher called it, my Wendy's order is, and this was a game-changer to me in the fast food world. Stop looking at that clock, Weigher, because I'm going to take my sweet-ass time. I'm just trying to see where we are in terms of that episode. I'm not trying to rush you. I'm sorry if we're looking at the clock too much. Oh, God. Then you took that too seriously.

Jesus Christ. I'm sorry, Mitch. Do you have any more family trauma to guilt me with? It's the funnest one to do. It's fun. My Wendy's order is something that is, was a game-changer in fast food. And I can't believe we haven't gotten to it yet. I'm sorry.

I'm being serious. Yeah. It's the spicy chicken sandwich. Great chicken sandwich. And it's the best. I think it might be the best thing in fast food. Wow. The spicy chicken sandwich was revolutionary to me.

And I remember when it came out and I was, you know, I think middle school or high school right around then. And I just, I remember it just being, because it made Wendy's go from a thing of like, oh, I love Wendy's and I'm going to go there occasionally to a thing where I was like, if I'm going to get fast food, I'm going to get Wendy's. I'm going to get myself a spicy chicken sandwich. And sometimes you could do a junior bacon cheeseburger with that. And it was a great little, just those two sandwiches would be perfect.

But I love that sandwich. It's done so well. It's so tasty. I fucking love it. There is the thing with Wendy's where I feel like Wendy's, you can get a good Wendy's and you can get a bad Wendy's. I think you can get the quality of Wendy's will change. And that is a criticism.

It will be my, maybe my only criticism of the restaurant. Because I think also when you get Wendy's fries and they're crisp out of the oven and each of them are golden and crispy and salted perfectly. I think they're the best fries in fast food when they're done well. But sometimes you can get some soggy Wendy's fries. I mean, that happens at a lot of places. McDonald's too. I love McDonald's fries.

Sometimes you can get a bad batch. Usually with them, they're colder. Wendy's, I feel like when you get a bad batch, they're a little soggy or wet. Sure. Not as crisp. Not as crisp. And then also an old favorite of mine used to be there was like a bacon sandwich back in the day.

It wasn't a junior bacon cheeseburger, but it was another bacon sandwiches. And I don't think it's on the menu anymore. But now the Baconator has taken its place and the Baconator is great. I do like that Baconator. And I love the name of it. The Baconator. It's just so simple and it's just a bunch of meat and bacon. What is it?

It's a burger with a lot of bacon? Yeah. It's, I think, two, there's a Baconator and then also... There's a Son of Baconator. A Son of Baconator. I love the two names of them. I think that they're funny names. Yeah.

And the Son of Baconator is a little bit smaller. And then the Baconator, I think it's three patties, the Baconator. I think it's just two. Two patties, okay. And I think the Son of Baconator is just scaled down. Okay. But yeah, it's still a substantial sandwich. I'd say it's similar.

It's a similar amount of food to that Wendy's Triple. You get the Triple or you get the Triple of Cheese or the Baconator. Either way, you're getting a substantial meal. Yeah. And the Baconator is fantastic. And that's real good. If you want to just do a beefy, bacon-y cheeseburger, it's really, really cool. Really, really cool.

When I'm a burgered out, but I've got a hankering for Wendy's, I will do the crispy chicken sandwich and it's amazing. It's really good. And on that front, we can get into our most recent trips to this particular chain. But I am a fan of that spicy chicken sandwich and Mitch, when you say it's the best item in fast food, it's a bold thing to say, but it's not a crazy thing to say. I agree with you, but I'm not like, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm like, okay, I can see his point.

That's an interesting opinion. And I like somebody throwing down the gauntlet like that. Yeah, I like it. It's just a fun attitude to be around. I think it's great. I like it too. I got the Spicy Asiago Ranch Chicken Club sandwich and that's one where you can option to have the regular chicken patty, you can get the grilled chicken patty, or you can get the spicy

chicken patty on it. And I went with the spicy chicken patty as I mentioned in my setup and it was pretty good. It has bacon on it. Can I tell you that you messed up? Can I just let you know that you messed up on that order? Yeah, go for it. You messed up.

If you get that Asiago Chicken Ranch Club or whatever, you don't get the spicy chicken patty. Why don't you get the spicy? If you like a little bit of heat, why not? Because the spicy chicken sandwich is so perfect that you're only diluting it with all this other stuff on it. Okay, well, Mitch, I'm agreeing with you, but I think you're being kind of a dick about it because I was going to say, I would rather have that spicy chicken sandwich.

I agree with you, but they give you the option and I'm like, oh, I got a little bit of heat. I like that regular spicy chicken sandwich. What I'd say with Asiago Ranch Chicken Club is the Asiago is fine. The cheese is pretty good. The bacon is fine. I feel like I don't need it. I could take it or leave it on a chicken sandwich. That ranch, I love ranch dressing, but I'm not into ranch on a sandwich.

I don't need it on a burger. I don't need it on a chicken sandwich. Give me mayo or something. Give me just a more neutral sauce. That ranch is just so overpowering. The thinness is not appropriate, really. It's more of a dressing than a spread. I don't know.

It was a little off-putting. It was a very good sandwich, but I'd rather have that spicy chicken sandwich. I don't know if I was being a dick about it, but I will say... You told me you messed up. Well, you did, you fool. You messed up terribly. The Asiago, if you get it with the plain chicken, the non-spicy is a good sandwich. Yeah.

It's good. I get what you're saying. Sometimes simple is better, but there's more complex burgers at Wendy's. There's the cheddar mushroom melt burger and stuff like that. There's some that are more complex that are still really good. Yeah, and they'll have those... I don't know if that's complex or whatever. That's especially burgers, but I do really think the simple is the way to go.

I even want to get the bacon at her sometimes. I think I'd rather have that double with cheese or that triple with cheese, just a regular... Because I feel like they're beef and they're cheese and they're toppings. I feel like they just do the core components so effectively that I like just a stripped-down sandwich there. I will say when I was eating keto, which I have to do again... Announce Cheetos. Oh, my God. Weiger jumped into your body for a second.

Well, that wasn't a crack. It was more of a joke. That's how Weiger took it. So fuck you, Weiger. Anyway, so when I was eating Cheetos... Wendy's and Fat Burger, but Wendy's Bunless Burger was so good. And I did the... I would do a Baconator less. Yes, 100%. And it was delicious. It was so fucking good. It was crazy.

It was really good and the other thing I'll say is that if you're carb-conscious and you're on a budget, they will lettuce wrap at Wendy's and they will not throw a big fuss. They will just say, can you get lettuce wrapped? It's no problem. They'll give it to you. They'll give it to you in a nice little plastic container. It's great. It's really great. And their lettuce is super good. Good lettuce, yeah. They have great lettuce.

Everything there just feels fresh in their tomato and their lettuce. I will say, when I went this last time, they changed up buns. Should I get into what I ordered? Yeah, go for it, please. So this last time I ordered, and I will let you know I ate all of it, I got the number six Spicy Chicken Meal Large. Where did you go to the basketball game this Friday? That was the deal.

The Clippers? I got a number six Spicy Chicken Sandwich Combo Large. So Large Fries, got a Coke with that, Paul, because I like a Coca-Cola classic when I'm really going at it. In bed. And then I also got myself the number one Dave's Hot and Juicy Just a Sandwich, the single patty burger. And they were kind of promoting Dave's Hot and Juicy burgers. And I thought it was some sort of special, but it turned out to just be the number one classic burger, cheeseburger. And I got it, and then I was happy that I got it because I got the classic version of a cheeseburger from Wendy's.

Did it have some sort of cuchrements that made it Hot and Juicy? I don't understand. The beef? I'm not making a joke. I didn't know why the campaign was Hot and Juicy. Oh, that's just what it's called, I believe, right? Yeah, they've been kind of like, they've thrown around a few different brandings of the single line, but they've kind of like got on to...

I think at one point they're calling it Dave's Specialty or Dave's Signature, and now they're calling it Dave's Hot and Juicy. So when I order the number one, I'm ordering Dave's Hot and Juicy. You're getting a Hot and Juicy, yeah. Oh my God. Gotta talk to my priest. I had no idea. You're forgiven, Paul.

But what you were saying is your number one is Hot and Juicy. My number one was Hot and Juicy. What about your number two? The number two is even more Hot and Juicy, actually, it's two patties. Patties. So I got that number one burger, and then I got myself a small chocolate frosty. Here's what I did with the chocolate frosty, because I ate so much food. I put the chocolate frosty in the freezer.

That's kind of a, you know about this, Paul. It's a no-no. I don't like, you shouldn't freeze the frosty for too long, because it's so good coming right out of that machine. But it was still great. I made that mistake a lot of times where my eyes are bigger than my stomach. I'm like, I'll eat this frosty when I get home. Then I eat the burger and fries.

So I put the frosty in the freezer, and then like two weeks pass, and I open up the freezer, and there's just this hardened frosty. Oh, yeah. It's a reminder of my... My mortality. I don't know if I've done that with the shake. I feel like I'm very much like a shake-first sort of guy. I'll get that shake.

I got myself a small vanilla frosty. My beverages last time were small tropical green tea, which is a new green tea they were pushing. It was fine, lightly flavored, or lightly sweetened, just a little bit of sugar to it. It was pretty good. And I got a small vanilla frosty, and I just start digging in that frosty right away.

That's like the first thing. And you know, if I have fries, I'll dunk them in that frosty. I really like that little sweet and savory together, that sweet and salty together. I don't dip my fries in the frosty. I don't do that. I get what you're doing, but I don't do it. Yeah.

It's a fine thing to do. It's okay if you don't do it too. In college, I would crack up my friends with a little song about frosties and french fries. Did you, for real? Really? Yeah, can I sing it? Yeah, give us a taste, please.

Literally. No, not literally. No, not at all. Frosties and french fries. Frosties and french fries. How you gonna eat them? How you gonna taste them? Frosties and french fries.

Frosties and french fries. How you gonna eat them? How you gonna taste them? Mitch, you're tearing up. And you guys are hoisting me upon your shoulders. Fist pumping. That's really good. Yeah, thanks.

You can see why people like that. Thanks, thanks. I think that will shoot to the top of iTunes music chart. When I'm done with this, somehow, even though this show won't come out for another few days, somehow, it'll be on the iTunes. Yeah, if we hadn't said it already, I feel like the toppings on their burgers are,

well, the toppings of their food. It's like top of the charts. Yeah. There's those tomatoes, the lettuce, onions, oh boy. They do a great job, and that number one is all the components work really well together. You get the nice onion, the pickle, the taste of ketchup. They always get the right amount of ketchup in those burgers.

I love it. It's good. I always find that the challenge with the Wendy's is, I don't know what the correct proportion is of patty to everything else, and I guess that just comes to personal taste. But I feel like when I get the triple, which is what I'll get when I'm really hungry, I always feel like it's like the meat is overwhelming a little bit,

just like almost a little bit too much. I feel like that double is that sweet spot. I feel like for some other people, that single will be that sweet spot. Yeah, I don't, that's the reason I get the number one and why I don't venture out ever outside of one patty burgers anywhere. Oh, interesting. Because it's too much burger.

Gotcha. And when it becomes like a mess, I stop getting burgers in like dining restaurants because I hate the slow disillusion of your burger as an idiot. Yeah, when it falls apart. Yeah. I tell you, I went to Bokino Mas, local LA mini chain. Great spot.

Great spot with me and Mitch's both of our, one of our favorite spots. And I got a real, separately. I got a real fiasco of a quesadilla. I was just like, because of that place is usually great, very solid and they get this, this quesadilla was falling apart immediately. I was like, fuck, this is,

I was having a knife and fork a quesadilla and it was just sort of, you know, not every place, every place has an off night, but it was just kind of a disappointing experience. But I'm with you. When that burger starts to fall apart, I mean, a burrito is the worst. When a burrito falls apart, it's just like, that's chaos.

Yeah. But when a burger starts to fall apart, it's just like, what am I even doing here? Well, I think when a family falls apart, it's probably the worst type. I mean, a divorce, it can have serious effects on kids. But second to that is a burger. That's the real burger drop and that is not,

that's not pleasant. That's a bad burger drop. I also want to say, do you think that... How do you hope? Do you think because of your song, you're saying that this episode of Doe Boys will be the number one music single on iTunes? This two hour episode of Doe Boys

will be the number one music single? Beyonce's like, excuse me, Jay, I have to check the charts. Do you think Beyonce, check them away? Beyonce's married to Jay Leno. That's so funny. I hope they haven't told Jay thee about this. Oh, that poor man. Wouldn't it be funny if I took, like,

you write out of a huge Leno fan and I hate Beyonce in a reverse of all human deeds? Yeah, anyway, Beyonce looked at the charts and she was upset that our song topped her. That was the end of that little joke. And Jay Leno was sad too. Jay Leno, seen up in this neck of the woods quite a bit, he saw a friend of the podcast and future guest,

Tim Calpakis, and Tim was eating a loaf of bread. And he said, ah, sitting on the corner eating a loaf of bread. Like a bitch, huh? He said that? From like an old timey car. From an old timey car. Did Tim throw the loaf of bread at him? Yeah, and he said, I'm gonna quit now.

So Tim Calpakis is responsible for Jay Leno retiring. So... Oh, I should talk about what I ate. When did you go? When did I go? Today's? Tuesday? Yes.

I ate it Sunday. Yeah. I picked some up for my lovely wife and I, and that is to coin, to use Weiger's phrase, lovely wife, I've adopted that into my own personality, into my own life. My wife Leslie really likes Wendy's a lot, so it's sort of the thing of like...

You're married well, my friend. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's sort of the thing too of like, if you're sort of like, my wife likes die-hard movies, so if we're gonna watch an action movie, I can convince her on the die-hard movie. Sure, yeah, yeah, of course.

Fast food is sort of bad, but if you can go, hey, let's get Wendy's, it's sort of, everybody's excited, everybody loves Wendy's. But yeah, I got the number one, cheese and I got some fries and a Coke. I thought maybe I should venture out and talk about my experience that way,

but it felt wrong, like I should just eat the thing that is my favorite thing. Yeah, I think that's fair. I mean, and I think that you probably tried a lot of stuff at Wendy's. What did Leslie get out of curiosity? Oh, the exact same thing as me. Oh. We're too weirdos.

Yeah, the thing that when I was eating it was, my first thoughts were like, oh, yes, the ingredients are always fresh, and fresh as it just like... they have moisture on them or something. Sure. Maybe that's something that doesn't happen a lot or enough to make me...

it makes me then like notice it in a Wendy's burger. Yeah. For me, it's the drool, because I'm drooling over that burger. Well, I think school drools, but that's a different subject. If you get me started on it, I'll talk forever. But yeah, so, and then also I love how the... by the time you get the burger, how the...

whatever has happened with the cheese, that it's melted perfectly on the burger. Yes. It's not like I love McDonald's guys. I don't mean to slay the king, just to help out the prince, but there's a place called Burger King. That's all the confusing metaphor.

But, you know, when you get like a cheese burger at McDonald's and it's just kind of like they set like the cheese just there and it's kind of there and it hasn't melted yet. Yeah. Oh, melted slice of cheese on Wendy's. So good. I agree with that.

The fries I like as much as I love Wendy's, they're not my favorite fries. Okay. Because I think I don't like the choice of the like potato skin sort of, right? They have this kind of like... I feel like they... I feel, correct me if I'm wrong out there

to Doughboys listeners, but has Wendy's... are they pushing the skin on the fries more or something like that? I feel like if you get skin in there, it's not like a prominent feature of like, we got our skin on fries, you know? You might get like a little stray, russet exterior,

but I feel like I'm mostly getting that potato... that starchy potato interior with their fry. Well, let me say it to Wendy's because when I went there, they were changing up their buns. And if they were changing... Don't... First of all, I did not like your buns as much.

Don't change your buns. And if you're deciding to put skin on your French fries, don't do that either. Is this Wendy's or J-Lo? This is Wendy's I'm talking to. J-Lo can do whatever she wants. With her buns. Wendy's, keep your buns the same.

Also, timely reference of J-Lo. She's got that show at NBC. American Idol? Oh, she does have a new show. Lady Detective or... Blue Bloods or something? Is that what it's called? J-Lo is a detective?

Yeah, she's got some cop show. I don't know what she does in it, but yeah. And her booty's still big. That's one of those shows that you find out it's like... Yes, it was a dated reference, but... It's on CBS and it's in like its fifth season and it's like the third most popular show on television and everyone's parents watch it

and it's a show you've never heard of and don't know anything about. Yeah. Does she... Has she ever caught a criminal and held them in place with her buttocks? What, Weiger? Answer my fucking question.

Yes, that happens every episode. And then like the waterboarding version of that is... She rips apart. Oh my God. He's like, don't do it. She's eating like a can of beans. He's like, oh no! So the show is like a show in Nickelodeon's snick lineup.

This episode is like... It's two pillars. Is it once so disgusting and also makes so little sense? It's so hard to follow what is being discussed. David Lynch, Doe Boys. Incomprehensible and gross. It's a David Lynch episode of Doe Boys

that would screen in Spike and Mike's Twisted Animation Festival. Oh my God, you guys cracked me up so much. Let's get to our final evaluations on one day. God damn it, you nerd. So Paul, you've listed the podcast, you know all this works. Give your closing argument,

then give us a rating on a scale of one to five forks. We'll start with you. They did it. They did it. They took a national chain burger place and they made it as good as they could. This dude loved it so much. He named it after his daughter.

I'm tearing up both of you right now. No, I love it because it really, for me, fits the ideal of what... I'm not just going to say fast food should be. All corporations should be. Which is just like, yeah, we know we could kind of like shit this out and not care and people would still eat it up.

But they're like, no, let's actually try to make something of quality that people would like. It's the Pixar of fast food places. I love, okay, I like that a lot. You know what I mean? Yes. Because I think they show Pixar movies there.

They do. They premiere at Wendy's before they go to theaters. I like the range of choices. It's more varied than a typical burger place. We didn't even talk about the soups. They got soups, right? They have chili. They have chili.

Yeah, chili. Which we've heard before it's the old burgers, right? But whatever. I like the chili a lot. At least we got out of the way that they play Pixar movies there. No, I think it's like the perfect version of what it's trying to do. Five forks. Yes.

Wow. Go ahead, Mitch. Okay. Do you want me to go first? I know you care a lot about this. Okay, sure. I mean, I didn't plan anything, but sure. I didn't plan anything.

Well, I have one thing kind of planned. Wendy's, I feel like, succeeds on every level as a chain. I think Paul put it very correctly in that it's kind of a model of what a corporation should be. Maybe not in paying its staff a living wage. I'm not sure how its wages compare to a place like in an out burger or Costco, which is maybe someplace that pays a little better, provides benefits. It may suffer from the same sort of wage issues that some other chains do. But in terms of the quality of output, I think it's right up there.

I think their burgers are great. Fries are great. On our last visit, my wife, Natalie, got the barbecue wrench chicken salad, and she enjoyed it. The quality fast food salad. I think, honestly, they have the best fast food salads. I feel like a lot of, you know, if you're looking for a healthier option, you've got that lettuce wrap burger, which is pretty good. You can make it a combo meal, swap out the fries for a small Caesar salad, toss the croutons,

and get yourself like an unsweetened iced tea or a water. You got yourself a healthy meal that fits the budget. The chicken Caesar salad's good. It's good. Very true. If you want to go even cheaper, their value menu, I think, is one of the better value menus. Even though this is a place that may be a slightly higher price point than your McDonald's, your Burger King's, your Carl's Jr. Hardee's, value menu.

Three items they pulled off of it. Six-piece nuggets, $1.59. Value fries, $1.09. Value drink, $0.99. You're getting out of there for $4, maybe $4.50 with tax. You're doing pretty good. If you want to get yourself a cup of water instead, you can eat even cheaper. You can fill yourself up when you don't have a lot in your pocketbook.

I think it's like a great, great fast food place. I'm going to admire of Dave Thomas. Fuck Papa John. I don't like Papa John at all. I like Dave Thomas and something else I like. Wendy's had these training videos in the 80s, which I think are some of the best pieces of music that I've heard, including this hot drink song. And I think the emphatic sort of excitement, just the enthusiasm behind this,

I hope this video plays because I think it can convey what I feel about this chain. This is hot drinks from the Wendy's training program. Here we go. Listen to that groove. Everyone's having a good time. So much care for a rarely ordered menu item. Hot drinks. Hot drinks.

Hot drinks. Hot drinks. That fucking rules. Wendy's rules 5-4. Yeah. Wow, I actually liked you for a second. That spring staying closer with Born to Run, baby. And that was also the song you and Natalie danced to in the wedding.

I'm glad you touched on the six piece nuggets. There's so many Wendy's items that maybe we didn't hit. But I love their specials. I love that they keep it simple. And then I love that when they have a special burger and everything. Like you were saying, the healthy stuff is great. Their classics are great. It's a great place.

So I got to talk from the heart a little bit because I don't have anything planned. But since a small boy, going to Wendy's in my mom's car is a treat. I just, it's just something that I cherished. And she would, and I even remember a specific time, she got a big coke from Wendy's. And it spilled over and it short circuited her chair and her, the passengers chair in her Lincoln car. And it started moving forward and crushing me. And I remember that. What the fuck?

And it cost her a lot of money to get it replaced. But we still loved Wendy so much that we went back. It went forward and you're in front of the seat. I was sitting in the passenger seat and it started moving forward and it didn't stop moving forward. Which back in these Lincolns, they could, like the seat goes so far forward. It was really crazy. I love this final destination level trip to Wendy's. Had you just like evaded like an airplane crash?

Your mom picked you up at an airplane that nearly crashed and then took you to Wendy's and death. And was like, we're going to finish this boy off. And I remember laughing and... You did. I mean, it was also scary kind of, we pulled over. So, I just remember going there as a boy. I remember being in there with a babysitter with my grandparents. I remember those toys you were talking about, Paul, the plastic toys.

I remember, listen, I had no sock hop. I had no diner to go to like my mom and dad did. They grew up in the 60s and 50s. I didn't have that. When I was young and wild and 15 and 16 years old and I was getting a little drunk, my friend, Micas and his brother, Shanze, they drove us and we would get Wendy's and we'd get a spicy chicken sandwich and we'd eat a bunch of Wendy's food together. Or on a Sunday afternoon at my friend Frailbots house in the basement.

After a long day, after a long night of hanging out and having fun. Fun. We weren't feeling great and we got a bunch of Wendy's and we'd eat it and watch some movies together. I love Wendy's. I think the quality is amazing. I think Dave Thomas stands for something wholesome and family and good quality food. Listen, I know it's still fast food. I know it's not good for you, but like Nick touched on, it has always been one of the more health-conscious places

where you can get some really, really great and tasty healthy food if you pick right. It means a lot to me. I feel like I could tear up if I really wanted to be talking about Wendy's. I want to see that. I just, oh god, how am I going to tear up thinking about that? I don't know. I love it and I don't know. See, now I'm going to just make up a story of me and my dad or grandpa eating it.

It's not true. Nothing like that. Why did, you don't have to cry. No, I mean, for me, we missed the sock hop generation. I have to go back to this point. Yeah. We didn't really have these diners in these places that our parents had. We didn't have these segregated establishments that Mitch is longing for.

How dare you? In the middle of my Wendy's spiel. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought you were being crazy here. I'm sorry for doing that. For Quincy, Wendy's was it. It was the top tier fast food establishment.

And in my heart, it still is that, and I think the spicy chicken sandwich is maybe the best fast food item that there is. There's without a doubt, no way I'm going below five, four. If there was anything higher, I'd give it to it. Wow. Wow. I love it. I love Wendy's and I know that a lot of people say it's silly.

It's a fast food place, but I mean, it's a great quality place and there's a lot of memories that come from it. It's really great. I have a lot of associations and memories. When you're driving down a street, you see that red sign coming up down the road. It's a beacon of hope. It really is. We didn't even touch on the sign.

It's great sign. Great logo. I like seeing the adorable little girl. It's great. And that font. The font is great. I was telling my wife a couple of days ago, I was like, that font just brings up associations of hunger for me.

When I see it, I want to eat, which is, that's prime marketing there, baby. 100%. I know Wendy's is good when my mom is also secretly getting it herself. I have some similar feelings about McDonald's, which we'll get to in another episode. Maybe our 100th episode we were talking about. Jesus Christ. If our podcast lasts that long. There's a lot more to say about Wendy's.

It could never be covered in one episode, but I think that we've kind of covered how great of a place it is. Yeah, and I think we should just, for the record, if you're out there maintaining the Doughboys Wikipedia, if you're maintaining the Golden Plate Club website, this is, Wendy's is in the hand holding club by definition. It is in the platinum plate club. It is the third member along within an out burger and steak and shake. That is a pretty, pretty special place to be so congratulations to Wendy's.

Yeah. Wow. Way to go Wendy's. All right. Great. I'm going to go get our food stuff for our next segment. We're going to evaluate something and determine whether it's worth putting it in your mouth. It's another dish in a snack or a whack.

So this is in the refrigerator. I'm going to go fetch this while I'm doing that. You guys can vamp just a little bit. Vamp. It's a term. Well, you know, Paul, being on set, what's your favorite set snack? I guess, peroxide. Hydrogen peroxide?

Yeah. Yeah. Do you snack on that? Because I heard Judy Garland used to do it. Now people do gargle peroxide or they, right, don't they do something like that? Like if you have like a cold sore, I forget what it is. I think if you get sprayed with a skunk. You drink peroxide.

No, you're supposed to use peroxide to get the stench off. Oh, okay. I had never heard that. Nick's coming back here, but what I was going to say was your character on Love has a reference to how he likes to get the burger from Wendy's and the fries from McDonald's and then the shake from Jack in the Box. It's called Randy's Triple Dandy. Yeah.

And guys, I was listening to a lot of Doe Boys at the time. That line would not have existed if not for Doe Boys. Wow. Well, it's good that you bring that up because we're suing for writing crap. What? That actually came. There was a listener email that came into the feedback that prompted that discussion. Oh.

Yeah, that had tip of the cap to the listeners at that email. Yeah. So, Paul, before we go on, for a lot of people just watch season one, no spoilers. Anything to look forward to in season two are Randy and Gus going to get up to any misadventures? Or do you think Gus will leave Mickey for Randy? I think Randy and Gus end up trying to solve a centuries-old murder mystery. A century-old. Like five centuries-old in Los Angeles.

All right. So, Mitch, you actually provided this week's snack or whack food stuff. That's right. Do you want to introduce it for everyone? This is called the Cookie Dough Cafe. And it's cookies and cream. It's an edible cookie dough that you are not supposed to bake. Right on the top of it, it says, eat it.

Don't bake it. So, you're eating this cold. It's not an ice cream. It is just strictly cookie dough. This was, I think, friend of the podcast, Van Robesha. I don't know if he's friend of the podcast. A man, Van Robesha, who a future guest, brought it to a friend of the podcast, Jack Allison's birthday party, and I stole one.

So, that's what we're going to eat. Great. Yeah. Thanks for doing that, Mitch. Paul, do you like cookie dough? No. Really? Yeah, it's a weird thing.

You don't really like cookie dough? No. Don't like cookie dough ice cream? Interesting. Are you willing to eat this? Oh, of course. Okay. I give this a shot.

It's actually, I think, knowing that you're a skeptic. Yeah, that helps, right? I'd be interested in your POV. And I'm handing this over to Paul right now. I'll take it in. So, you're supposed to keep it refrigerated. Now, this item was on, we mentioned it earlier, the Seymour Mark Cuban jumps over, Paul. This was on an episode of Shark Tank.

Oh, this is a Shark Tank thing. Okay. Interesting. I don't know. I think it was. Paul seems to like it. You can take another scoop if you want. I'm going to take a scoop.

It's kind of got a very, okay. So, it looks like it's going to be harder than it is, but it's kind of got a creamy peanut butter texture, maybe with some little chunks in it. They look like chocolate chip, but I don't even think they are chocolate chip. Here, you guys should go again, because I'm sick with a weird Colombian flu. Oh, sure. So, I will let you guys eat until you're done. Thank you.

Paul's done. Paul's good. I'm going to take one more scoop. I'll hand this over to you, Mitch. Here I go. It definitely has that cookie dough texture, right? Yeah. Down to the kind of sandiness that you get.

The granularity from the flour and the raw sugar. Okay. Okay. Yeah. It does taste like genuine cookie dough. It's not like off-taste, or it doesn't taste like a gross approximation. I agree with that. It doesn't contain eggs.

It just says keep refrigerated. It looks like my grandma. She's a good guess. She's tearing up listening to that. She wants another baby. The ingredients, wheat flour, brown sugar, there's a lot of ingredients. Yeah. I'm not going to read them all.

Sugar Oreo cookies? Mm-hmm. Very heavily processed and preservative-laden food stuff. It appears. Yeah. All right. So, www.thecookiedocafe.com is where you get it. What do you think?

I will say that I am a fan of cookie dough. I love Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream. I remember the first time trying that down Cape Cod, Massachusetts, having cookie dough ice cream and really enjoying it. Two guys named Ben and Jerry, just Ben and Cookie Dough. Brought me melted ice cream. And I really enjoyed cookie dough and half baked is one of my favorite Ben and Jerry flavors. I like this.

I'm going to go off right away and say, I'm going to give this a snack, but it's something that I wouldn't want more than a couple spoonfuls of. Yeah. That's my issue is that I can't see myself buying this. This feels like, and you know, Van brought it to a birthday party and maybe that's the right setting for it. It's a novelty for people to share in some sort of gathering, but I don't think this is something that you keep in your fridge at home and then you're going to go back to.

And also I should note that this is specifically cookies and cream flavor cookie dough, which is an odd flavor for cookie dough. Because it's not like, this isn't like the flavor of the cookie part of an Oreo. It's like a cookie dough flavor that has chunks of Oreo in it instead of chocolate chips. It's fucking weird. I don't know. We're talking snack or whack, if those are my options. This thing is whack.

I'm sorry. What do you think, Paul? You know, I have to check my initial dislike for cookie dough ice cream because I do think it comes from, you guys have talked on the show about how if you just had a bad association. Sure. I think I ate a bunch of cookie dough once when I was a kid and then somebody said to me, hey, you know, if you eat that uncooked, you can get like worms. Oh yeah, that'll do it.

And so it retroactively made me go, well, I liked eating it, but now it was sort of a little psychosomatic sick after that and it occupied a space of my mind. So just having said that, that individual scoop was good, but I can't imagine it being pleasurable to pig out on and eat multiple scoops. That said, I'll say snack. Okay, all right. I like the taste. That's fair.

That's fair. So if it's like one of those things that like, hey, maybe before you go to bed, just go and eat a little couple of scoops. Yeah. Just a little midnight snack to set you off. I say that's the best, maybe the only way to eat it. I don't even know how to, I don't even know how you would serve this. And that's kind of a thing too.

It's like. Yeah. Do you think it's a spread? Yeah. It doesn't seem like spread. It doesn't really seem like it, but there's, but they don't even give you any suggestions on it, which is kind of like, it just says grab a spoon and dig right in. So they kind of expect you to just eat it right out of the container.

I wonder what it would taste good with. I was going to say you put it on a brownie or something. Maybe it could be like a peanut butter and cookie dough sandwich or something. Could be. I don't know. It's just, again, I just feel like the long-term eatability of this is just really, I don't know. I don't see myself returning to it.

I get that. You're on board. You're thinking snack, right, Mitch? I'm going to give it a snack. Snack. Snack. You've been eating the cereal snacks? Snack, I'll give, I would give a snack to snack, but I will give a snack to the cookie

dough cafe, though I completely agree with Weiger that I don't see myself eating much of it at night, but I do agree with Paul where a couple spoonfuls, that's tasty. This feels like we've got a split decision. I feel like this is one that, you know, if you're a listener out there, you're curious about it, try it for yourself. See what your opinion is. So you guys are the dough boys, but not the cookie dough boys. I am.

I'm the cookie dough boy. Oh, so you're the cookie dough boy. You're just the dough boy. Yeah, no, I'm just. And then Homer Simpson was the original dough boy. Come here. Come here, boy. I'm going to say dough to you.

No way, dad. That was the first episode. Dad Castellanero just walked into the room. Then they went for frosty chocolate milkshakes. It was like every Tracy Ulman short, they ended up with them getting frosty chocolate milkshakes. All right, that was Snack or Wack. Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback.

It's time to open up the feedback. And this week's email, as I bring it up, came to us from Tim Trees. Tim writes, I have noticed that when you are really into something, it can go two ways. One way is that you like a type of food so much that you love all forms of it, even low quality versions, parentheses. I like nice sushi, but I also love grocery store spicy tuna rolls and parentheses. The other way is that you like something so much that you can no longer eat the low quality version of it.

Thoughts and theories. That's a really, really interesting question. Interesting insight, Tim. What do you think, Paul? Yeah, I know bacon is a hack thing. I was just about to say I'd eat all forms of bacon, but that is not true. And now that I think about it, that's one of the things that I'm like, if it's not good bacon, it's a real let down.

Yeah, if you get like that subway room temperature bacon, it's just like, get that out of here. Yeah, that paper bacon. So that would be in the category of something I really like that I will take. No substitutes. Gotcha. As for the other thing, I'm just like, oh, I like it. Oh, I'm sorry, does this have to be with a fast food place or is this food? Any food at all.

I think nachos, I'll eat kind of anything because the combination of dairy plus carbs, chips and cheese, it's pretty hard to screw that up. No, I definitely like the cheese that's like melted on the actual chips as opposed to that sort of like 7-Eleven type of cheese that I eat. Yeah, the dipping cup, the stadium nachos. Yeah, but if I had that, I'm not going to turn my nose up at it. I'm with you. Yeah, so bacon, yes, no, bacon, no, nachos, yes.

I am the opposite of Tim Trees. Tim Trees, just don't subscribe. I will not want to eat sushi unless it is the perfect quality. I'm with you on that. Euro level or above, I'd say. Euro level? Euro dreams of sushi. Oh.

I was thinking the Greek sandwich when you said that. Yeah, I thought that's like lamb. No, I didn't mean that, oops. I want to go to Sugarfish because I'm also kind of a sushi noobie, so that could explain some stuff. That's why tonight when you watch in the room, you scream to the top of your lungs, I am a sushi noobie. Sushi noobie, I said over and over, and you guys finally got it.

Yeah, I like a good quality Sugarfish or something like that out here. It's a California thing, maybe. Another thing that I won't get, I'll eat any level of pizza. Even good pizza is bad. Bad pizza is good, too. If I go to someplace that's kind of shitty, I never... Pizza is kind of like sex. As long as there's crust, I'm all for it.

I didn't get it until I was 22. Have you guys heard that book Truth in Comedy? It's like the improv manual. There's a part in it where it's comparing the Herald, which is an improv form, if you're not familiar with improv, let's see. It uses the pizza as sex metaphor, but for the Herald, and it's like the Herald is like sex, or the Herald is like pizza. A bunch of improv doors can relate to that.

When it's bad, it's good. When it's great, it's great. Or when it's good, it's great. When it's bad, it's still pretty good, which is like, that's so not true about improv. A bad improv show is not still pretty good. It's like the worst thing that is so embarrassing for everyone. Maybe if really bad pizza made me embarrassed to be there, then that would hold true. It made you never want to eat pizza.

And question your son or daughter's career choice. Made Vessler say, that's a really bad pizza. Ban pizza. Well, go ahead. I was just going to say, I'll follow on your pizza thing. I think I'm realizing I'm the complete opposite of you, because for me, pizza is an occasional indulgence and I love pizza, but I want, if I'm going to have pizza, I want fucking good pizza.

And if I have like that kind of like cardboard-y, you know, dollar slice caliber pizza, I'm fucking disappointed that I'm wasting my pizza opportunity on this somewhere pizza. Or wasting a cheat. Wasting a cheat, yeah. Because I try to avoid, because if I eat it, I'll just eat it always. And so like, it's something like that. I feel like things like pizza, or like doughnuts, things that are like starchy, and that are they eat occasional, I want those to be great.

But things like scrambled eggs, I feel like I can appreciate like a diner caliber scrambled eggs, and I can appreciate like a really well made like fancy pants scrambled eggs, because it's all kind of like the same thing. And that's like, that's like my favorite breakfast dish, you know. I would say that like, of course I prefer the better one, you know what I mean? But like, we ran into this issue in the Neil Campbell Pizza Hut episode, he gave Pizza Hut one fork. Oh, I, when I heard that, my jaw literally dropped.

And I'm not even saying that as like, oh, an exaggeration, haha, it literally dropped. It truly dropped. He said one fork and I went, I was driving, I went, oh, like I gasped. Also, you just made the jerk off gesture for driving. I don't know if you notice that. It was a stick shipper, man. The old pizza is definitely not like sex, because it didn't take me about two decades to try it.

And then I didn't taste it intermittently, tastes intermittently since then. I've, I've always eaten pizza, but and I've always like, I'll always eat a pizza, though I'm like you, I prefer, it depends on what kind of mood in which is something we've talked about in the show. But here's what I was going to get to was steak. Oh, okay. I won't order a shitty steak in a restaurant, because no, that's a great answer. That's a fantastic answer.

I don't want, I don't want to, like a, I get it. There's places like we went to Outback and, and, and, but like even when we went to Outback, I'm like, it's pretty, it's like a pretty good steak. It's a pretty okay steak, but I don't want to get, yeah, I don't, I don't want to end up with a shitty steak. Yeah. You don't want to get like that, that diner steak where they don't really, they have it on the menu just cause it's, they're supposed to have it.

And it's like, yeah, that's like a very unsatisfying steak. You want a place that does a good steak. That's a great answer, Mitch. I think I'm with you 100% on that. Steak and sushi. And there, there's probably a few other ones. That steak is bad. Chicken Parmesan.

I mean, here we go. When you get to the Italian food too is like, you want great Italian food, right? And there's, and there's like, and it's funny because there's two types of Italian places to me. There's like the back east kind of like, oh, the shitty Italian place, but those places usually still have great food. And then there's, and then there's like high end Italian places. But I guess like, I wouldn't want the chicken parmesan from Olive Garden.

Well, this brings up a, an interesting side question. Is there something where you prefer the bad version? What somebody would typically consider the bad version? Obviously you wouldn't because it is your good version. Sometimes I'm in the mood for Domino's or which, which I've gave five forks on this because of that. Like I'm in the mood for whatever that, and I'm in the mood for McDonald's and these are places.

See, it's funny because I rate these places probably five forks. Who knows. But it's that sort of thing of, yes, of course there are things that exist out there that are better. Yeah. I think I would generally like, like I think my answer for that might be like chili cheese fries. Like I'd rather have like Tommy's chili cheese fries than like a restaurant's fancy concept

of chili cheese fries. It's got some like, you know, oxtail chili and, you know, oxtail chili poutine with, you know, some like crazy, you know, ajiago or something. Like I just like, just give me like the regular fucking shitty bean chili with, or beef chili with, with cheddar cheese, you know? Yeah. That's a, I'm thinking about this one a lot. Hit us up with what you think.

Paul, help us out with a hashtag here because I've been failing my hashtags a lot lately. Hashtag POTUS. So if you have an opinion out there on, on a food that you're, you're really into if it's a no matter the quality level or you prefer it only if it's good, use the hashtag POTUS and tweet us at Doughboy's Pod. Which makes sense because if we're not careful, careful, we might get a shitty version of a president. Oh yeah.

That's why I did it. Yeah. Wink. Fantastic. Wink. If you vote Democrat. Mine would be mac and cheese, I think. Oh, that's a great answer.

That's a great one. That's a great answer. I'll take craft over some fancy mac and cheese. I love that answer. Yeah. I like your guys answers more than mine. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at Doughboy'sPodcast at gmail.com.

Check out our Twitter feed, I bet you, at Doughboy's Pod. Check out our Facebook, just Doughboys. We'll have some more details on the Tournament of Chompians coming up on social media this week. Watch for that next episode. Paul Rust. Thank you so much for joining us, being so generous with your time, being so generous with your talents.

Now is your opportunity to, I think I know what you're going to plug, but now is your opportunity to plug what you would like to plug. Oh, well, let me first off say, guys, thank you so much for having me on the podcast. Of course. It really feels good. Oh, great. Because I'm a huge fan. Oh, what a nice thing to say.

And as soon as a new one comes up, I'm listening to it right away. So this is a fantastic podcast. It's very sweet. And you two are Dream Boats. Oh, what a thing to say. I love it. I love your show. So thank you for bringing so much happiness into my life, truly, genuinely.

As far as plugs, yeah, I have a show called Love on Netflix. All 10 episodes are up right now, so you can go and watch it. And then on March 18th, I co-wrote this new Peewee Herman movie called Peewee's Big Holiday. So that'll be on Netflix as well, and check it out if you're listening to this on March 16th. And if you are, that's crazy that I just said March 16th, man. Oh, yeah. Boy, you're mine.

That's going to blow your mind right now. Awesome. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. For the Spoon Red Bike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya. See ya. Hey.

Zero audio. See ya. Hey. Zero audio.