Doughboys - Wetzel’s Pretzels with Jon Daly

Episode Date: April 27, 2017

The ‘boys resume their regular format with a review of shopping mall staple Wetzel’s Pretzels with the help of special guest Jon Daly (Kroll Show, I’m Dying Up Here). Mitch and Wiger discuss the merits of pretzels and various quick bites in general, and a skeptical Jon brings some real talk about chain fare. Plus, a surprise double dose of Snack or Whack.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In 249 CE, Decius began his tyrannical two-year reign as Emperor of Rome. His ignoble legacy is evident by the fact that he has an atrocity named after him, the Decian persecution, an edict that required all citizens of the empire to choose between loyalty to the Roman gods or death. While not directly targeted at the state's growing Christian population, it had the effect of suppressing the faith and led to the execution of many prominent Christians, including even the Pope. In 250, aware of the danger of openly practicing his religion, St. Paul of Thebes exiled himself

to a cave in Egypt, becoming the first of the Christian hermits. Two centuries later, these hermits began to organize themselves into monastic orders, and Christian monks would become a powerful force in sustaining the Western religion's arts, literature, and culture. But beyond tasks like illuminating manuscripts, monks developed their own tradition of food, most famously fermentation, as beer brewed at monasteries continues to be among the most highly regarded in the industry, but also via pretzels, a savory pastry of European origin. While a thoroughly secular snack today, for centuries the monk's treat was considered

overtly Christian due to its signature form, the cross shape symbolizing arms folded in prayer, and its trio of holes symbolizing the whole E trinity. By the 20th century, this millennia-old snack had traversed the Atlantic and was firmly ensconced in American food culture, and in 1984, Bill Phelps and his fortuitously named business barters started a soft pretzel franchise that would quickly become a fixture at shopping centers, ball games, and amusement parks across the nation. Now, with 305 locations in 28 states and 6 countries, how much of its success is attributable to its sweet and savory pastries, and how much to the memorable rhyming name of Phelps co-founder,

and yes, his actual name is Rich Wetzel. This week on Doe Boys, Wetzel's Pretzels. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, live-action Wreck-It Ralph, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Have you done that one before? I don't think so. Or maybe someone tweeted that. I'm sure someone tweeted that at you.

They tweeted it, so now they send them to you and they tweet them at me. People shouldn't tweet insults at you. That's just... I mean, the Roast Spoon Man thing, that one was sent in by Billy Becker, by the way. If you have a roast you'd like to use on Mitch at the top of the show, roastspoonmanatgmail.com. This is all in good fun, but if you just tweet at Mitch and someone Mitch doesn't know, it's just you being mean to a stranger. Yeah, I agree with that.

You fucking asshole. Well, howdy-ho to Spoon Nation. Our guest doesn't know that I do that as my guest and I feel bad. Here's a drop I haven't listened to, Nick. It's a mess. We've had a busy day here today, right? We've got a lot going on. We're driving all over town.

It's 40 seconds here. I'm gonna play it. Here we go. All right. I'm going in blind. A very voluminous wet dream. Fuck you, Bill Nye. We're a fucking regular tie, you fucking nerd.

Howdy-ho. Picture he is blind. Someone else is gonna fuck my wife. You know why? Who is that? A respect. Fuck you. Mitch.

I didn't mean it like that. I know. I know. That's his wife. I don't care either, honestly. I'm now at the point in my life where I'm in favor of cheating. I feel like if you cheat and get away with it, more power to you. I think cheating is part of the game, and you just have to cheat and conceal it effectively.

Ooh, little Fleetwood Mac on the end there. A regular Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. All the greatest hits of the 70s. That was from Zach Schultz. Zach, you didn't give me a Twitter handle. Oh, yeah, you did. At two Kates. Two lower-dash Kates.

What is that? Lowers? Two underscores? No, two T.W.O. underscore Kates. Oh, I am fucking... I'm tired today. You're doing fine. All right, good.

That's a tough Twitter handle to read out loud. It's hard to... Because also, like, two is a number, and it's spelled three different ways, so... I thought he did all right. Zach, good job. Good job, Zach. Your little story. Little more...

Let's get a little bit more of Fleetwood Mac in there, huh? It's Hollywood, baby. We love stories out here, isn't that right, Nick? Yeah, absolutely. Regular Hollywood storytellers. Okay, well, our guest is still with us, and that's a good sign. We got a new... Before we introduce our guest, we've got a new engineer with us, Stephen.

Yes. Stephen's here for the first time. He's waving at us mutely over there. Dustin's out of town in Austin right now. Stephen's helping us out, and nice to have a new member of the Doughboys Extended Universe. Maybe we'll see Stephen around a little bit. Not Stephen Merchant, all you anglophiles. No.

Stephen Allen MacLeod's dog. Molasses Boy's dog? No, Molasses Boy's dog is not who's engineering the show tonight. That's inside baseball for... Really for even no one. No one... Did you even know that? I mean, I did know that Allen's dog was Stephen, but Molasses Boy's dog is Stephen.

They know him as Molasses Boy in there, and also, Molasses Boy had a baby. Congratulations, Allen, and his lovely wife, Stacy. Stacy, a little Molasses-covered baby. But I don't think that baby was covered in Molasses. We don't know. We didn't ask you. All right. Also, I just want to give a big thank you to, before we introduce our guests, which we

should already, but I want to Nishelle. Nishelle, she sent me some cat toys. Oh, boy. It was really, really nice. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, they love these two little balls and like a little fake feather thing that they chase around the room. It's great.

A prey wand. A galaxy-air prey wand. And a Puma Paw set. It was great. It was really great. This guy, Jackson, they're really weird cat toys. There's like a man Jackson that is like, has a line of cat toys, and he's like on the cover. It's very strange.

I'll show it to you. Yeah. All right. Don't look at me like a little weirdo. This is weird. I don't think you're responsible, but this is weird. Let's introduce our guests. I'm sitting there very patiently from Curl Show, and I'm dying up here, which premieres

on Showtime in June. John Daly. Hi, John. Hey, guys. How are you doing here? Thanks for joining us. Are you a cat man? How's it going?

It's going great. I'm a dog guy. You're a dog guy. Dog guy. Dog fellow. I'm a dog fellow. You're a dog. So you're not a capital.

You're allergic to cats. Is that correct? I am actually allergic to cats, yes. How are you feeling so far? I feel fine. Okay. I feel fine. Yeah.

Thanks for having me. I feel also very fine socially. I feel welcomed. And you guys are my friends. I've known you for, oh, what, a decade now? I've known you for a very, very long time. I remember never been asked to be on the podcast until now. I gotta say, I'm really excited.

Oh boy. I'm serious. I'm serious. I'm happy to know that. I want to give you a little insight into Nick and I who are, you know, socially very awkward and I think you know that. Disagree. Disagree.

Oh, that's nice of you. Oh, you're saying it's nice of him or me? No, it's nice of John to reassure us. That's something we're vulnerable about. I've never thought of you in that way. Okay. We've talked about bringing you on for a very, very long time. That is the truth.

Yeah, we have. Yes. Yes. We're always, we're, you guys would be like, you know, it'd be great. John Dealey. And then what would be the thing that makes you not then? Honestly, like nervousness, us thinking it's a bad podcast. Yeah.

We are very self conscious of the quality of the podcast of these sort of things of what you guys are saying. Look at the Schwag on your table right now. We got. They have thousands of dollars of Schwag. Different flavored potato chips, a chocolate orange, a Star Wars thing. They have a power cleansing face stick. I'm sure people are dying to you guys are sale.

You're fucking, you're surfing the frosting and an old bottle of red hour wine. If you, if you didn't notice red hour like Ben Stiller's red Ben Stiller's red hour wine. Is that? Oh good. Yeah. Yes.

I think there, I think there's he on the podcast. He has never been on the podcast. Okay. Yeah. You're one of our, we got to have a good show. This is already one of your best episodes. Here's the thing. We were like, we got to have daily on for a good about having me on because

this is already right. We got to have him on a good episode. And then we realized that I think there are no good episodes. So we realized that we, you guys are so insecure about your book. Two million listeners. Can I say? Wait, why did I say candle? What happened?

Can I swear? Yeah, you can swear. I won't, but I just want to. You can swear as much as you want. You have the option. No, you have, you can fire that gun at anyone. No, I don't want to. I want this to feel, I want this to feel like a nice radio.

Like it's like wholesome. We're not wholesome. We're not wholesome. You're wholesome. You are generally wholesome. Fuck you, Nick. Hey, well fuck you. You Boston piece of shit.

Whoa. See you guys play, but you can tell that there's something in very likeable. And that's why you guys translate. That's why you guys are killing it. That's why you guys have a table full of swag. You guys probably like when you go camping, it's all like swag shells. Oh, yeah. Right.

I've never, no more sleeping bags for me. No, you got swag sleeping bags. You're all about like, anyway. Also, if we went into the woods together, there's a good chance that one of us would kill the other, right? Yeah. I think that's possible. Yeah.

Who would be the pig slaughterer and who would be the vegetarian on the. Oh, that's actually a good question. On the Lord of the Flies. Gotcha. I mean, we would both be piggy in Lord of the Flies. They're both two piggies. Two piggies. You both break your glasses the same way.

We both break our glasses and someone would drop a giant stone on us or whatever the fuck happens to piggy. I've told this story before, but I in Boy Scouts. You broke your glasses. I did break my glasses in Boy Scouts. That's not the story I was going to tell, but the in Boy Scouts, we went, we had like a leadership retreat at a cabin for like all the patrol leaders and the senior patrol leader and the troop.

And they showed us a VHS of Lord of the Flies is like a lesson of to be like sort of like kids. This is what can happen if things get out of control. Oh, that's insane. Yeah. So they showed a bunch of like 12 to 14 year old boys, Lord of the Flies. And of course there's the scene where everyone's chanting piggy and then they drop a giant rock on the heavy set kid and kill him.

Yeah. And let me guess, you were in the back jacking off. I was cranking it. I was cranking it the whole time. But that's not where, again, not where I was going with this story. But so afterwards, after the movies done, all the kids took the complete wrong lesson from it. And we spent the night chasing the heavy set kid around in our troop yelling piggy.

Kill the pig. Smell his blood. Yeah. Yeah. And he got scared and ran and ran to his dad's tent. I saw that. Oh, what a pussy. Yeah.

They did. He is piggy. He is piggy. If he were a Ron older or whatever the main guy's name right, Jack. Jack. Jack was the bad ass. Jack. Yeah.

Piggy stayed. Jack. Are you talking about the old black and white, the old, the British? I just don't know the book. I've never seen any movie. Oh, you've never seen the movie? They made it in the 90s or something, right? Yeah, they made it.

But then there's there is like one is that one is that there's an old black and white one. That's like, yeah, there's like a one that's like considered a classic. Yes. But the modern one's not great. Yeah. The modern one is not too good. Yeah.

I want to camp Burgess. I want to camp Fatima, which is not a fact. Boy scouts? Not boy scouts. But I remember this is like one of like the moments in my life that I felt like picked on. Yeah. Because I would like, when I was younger, I would, I would stretch in between like being

a chubby kid and a thin kid. I just burped as I said, chubby kid. I would, you know, like I would go through girl sports and then I'd be like kind of like normal and I'd be fat. But I remember at camp Burgess one time, like each like cabin would say a thing like it would be like cabin three and they'd be like, how are you doing or something? And one cabin said, they'd say, how are you doing? I mean, they would say like some sort of response back and one cabin three.

We like trees. Like they do some sort of cute writing things. How are you doing? Yes. They would. How are you? Yeah. Stupid.

Cabin three. We like trees. Yes. Something like that. I get what you're saying. Some sort of chant. Some sort of chant. And one cabin said fat kid and they were referring to me.

Oh my God. How old were you? I was like 10 or 11. Yeah. But also here's the other thing. They had like a camp counselor who like took part in that. Right. So like this like 18 to 25 year old guy had a hand in this.

Oh, that's weird. So you'd like lose your trust in your, your, your, uh, superiors. Yeah. Authority. Fuck. Authority. From there on out. I hate authority.

Yeah, man. You just went punk. Boy scout punk. I had, I had, uh, I went to Christian camp at this place called summer's best two weeks in Pennsylvania and it was, it was Christian and divided up into, uh, two teams. Like it was a sports camps. We'd play sports every day. Right.

We'd keep tally of the, you know, and so the whole camp was like two teams playing each other. So it was the Romans versus the Galatians. Oh my God. And the camps, the counselors were known as the Corinthians. And so we would wake up and like pray and it was like very like, yeah, like just weirdly and we'd say like, you know, uh, we put our hands in at the end of a sport, playing a sport and be like, the glory goes to God.

Right. You know, and stuff like that. And we go whitewater rafting, which was amazing. Like it was super fun, but it was like weirdly like, and then they had like an I'm third award for the most Christian person. So I'm third means like God, others and you're, and then yourself, you're a third. So like they'd have this, like the most selfless campers, so it was like, it's like, well, how was there a competition for like selfless during camp?

But it was very, uh, yeah, it was, it was, it was very strange. Yeah. I'm still going to, the I'm third thing is the thing I'm not familiar with. Yeah. It's a Christian thing. Yeah. I guess it's a certain branch of, I don't know what it was bad, like Pentecost. No, it wasn't Pentecost.

Cause they know the Trinity obviously, but that's not a whole million. I feel like I was raised a Episcopalian, but I don't remember the I'm third thing. But like counselors that are just like, Hey, when you accept Christ in your heart, right? Was it, was it really there were guys like that? Yeah. And my brother Matt, like I was like eight and my brother, but my brother, Matt was like 11 or 12 and he was like into punk rock and he would wear like misfit shirts and, uh, you know, he was a trouble camper to the, yeah, exactly.

Like he was in trouble, but he still did everything and like played the game. So I don't know. Like, yeah, you know, he participated, but he was like, look, this man, like a devil luck. And, uh, at one point he, uh, he, the counselor was like, Hey, Matt, my brother, Matt, you don't participate in Bible study. Like what's going on? And, uh, Matt was like, Hey, you know, I guess I just don't believe in God.

Don't believe in God. Like at 12, you know, that's, that's early. Total rebel and, uh, and the counselor, the best possible reaction was just like, Hey, that's cool. That's cool. You know, just like, you know, try and just pay her or whatever, but it's cool. You don't believe in God. You know, that's fine.

Wow. That was like, whoa, you're cool. Yeah. I understand. But they were just like fellowship Christian athletes, weirdos. And then did he, did he, that's fair. I think, I think you're accurate. Yeah.

Yeah. And one's like, cause it, camp urges is YMCA camp. And so it was, it was Catholic, I guess, but none of the, like the counselor was like, listen to like the grateful dead and they were kind of like hippie-ish or whatever. Right. But, um, I remember there, there was a camp counselor that light, he was a big guy and he liked my grateful dead shirt and he asked me if he could have it.

Weird. And he was like the same, also the same size as me. Like an adult. I was 11 year old. Like, yeah. I was like 20 something. Geez. But that, that, that.

Have you dead shirt? That's a sleaze. Can I have a child's shirt? Yeah. That's weird. Weird. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I went to a very, I went to another Christian camp too, but did your brother fall for it? Is your brother now very religious? Did he? No. No. Okay. All right.

But, um, yeah. No, not really. Um, I went, I've said this in the podcast before, but I went to Camp Fatima and the year before there was a priest there that was like touching kids. Oh, good God. And my mom still sent me the, my mom found out and she still sent me to this camp. Yeah. Is there like a discount?

Um, I was like $50 less. I think she just wanted me to, she wanted me to be touched somehow. Jesus. She was just like, yeah, it'll be good for you. Yeah. One way or the other will be good for him. I was always jealous of the Jewish kids because they would go to Jew camp. Yes.

Jew camp seems very fun. It was like sexual and very, right? It was a lot of intermingling of the sexes and it was like six weeks and mine was like two, two weeks. And uh, you know, I was always like, oh man, you came up, you just like fingered someone like, I'm, what am I doing on my dumb camp? Yeah. Right.

Yeah. That's all I cared about at that point. I was like, man, how much play can I get? And like Christian camp was zero. Yeah. Those, those Jewish kids, uh, it sounds so sleazy. I sound so sleazy. It took us how much play I can get.

It's so gross. No, those, those Jewish kids, they, they get so much. They started early. Let me tell you. They were checking out. They were listening to rusted. Ruth. They were like, send me away.

Send me away. They had their Tivas on and they're like, I think that, I think that camp. I think that life is that dorky from camp, like through college. Like, like, I think that that like semi on my way is like still listen to when things are as dorky, like, yeah, like, like 10 to 15 years later, Dave Matthews. Yeah. That is definitely still like a constant. Yeah.

I'm a Dave Matthews fan, but then I also hate, you're a genuine Dave Matthews fan. Satellite. I like Satellite. I'm a genuine satellite fan. Cool. I just, I, I came up on them and I, I know that their fans are, I know that their fans are you. I know that their fans are me.

I know that their fans are me and I like you, Dave Matthews, also great actor. He seems like a, you know what? I'll give Dave Matthews this. He seems like if you met him at a bar in like South Africa or whatever, or in the United States, whichever he would probably be like a great, you'd be like, oh my God, you should be president. You're the best. He seems like a cool dude, but he seems like a nice dude and a cool dude.

He probably does. He seems like a good person, but man, I love Satellite. It was a great, it was for its time. And also, you know what? They have like a thing like you two where people are like, people are mean to Dave Matthews and like, they're like, fuck Bono. And I'm like, Bono like is whatever he's annoying, but like he also like he is just helping people like dedicated like 30 years to hearing aids and after.

I mean, that's what I'm saying. At the end of the day, he's a good person. That's the end. And I mean, I don't know if he's a good person, but he's done good things. Yeah. You can make fun of people who are like doing it have literally put in the time and money and effort. Yes, things, but at the same time, he's the guy that's kind of doing it.

So yeah, you got to give him props. I feel like I don't feel like people are quick to say that with. But if you it's well, it's pretty funny to watch him get out of a limo. That's like you watch him get out. He does the most rock star run and immediately just absorbs the crowd around him. He's just like a cartoon of a jerk. That and that energy though. Yeah, that's great.

And I love you too. I love I'm a YouTube fan. Oh, me too. Joshua Tree. Come on, Wyger. I know you don't like music. I like I like you two's appearance on the Simpsons. I thought they were really good sports.

Oh, Jesus, they sing that they sing the Trash Man song. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. You don't like their music, though. I think their music's fine. It's a yeah, I think he doesn't. John, he doesn't like music. That's not true. I like music.

What do you listen to? Do you put music on or do you always listen to he does car rides without any music? I do do silent car rides a lot. I do something. Yeah, just to think. But I do. I do like music. I listen to music with some frequency on a car ride.

Right. What would be something? OK, wait, let me bring up my Spotify. I got my laptop open. I'll bring up my Spotify. Some recently played tracks. White noise for my account that you like. Like what would you enjoy it?

What I like. I the Mitch and I talked a little bit. I like in terms of classic rock. I like a little Pink Floyd, little Floyd, Floyd is mine. I like taking Floyd. I'm saying I like I can't like the same thing as you. I'm the Floyd guy. I didn't say I was the Floyd guy.

Everybody likes Pink Floyd because they're one of the greatest fans of all time. You get to say you're the Pink Floyd guy. Listen, everyone's unless you know a shit ton about Pink Floyd or something. When I come walking down the street, everyone knows I'm the Floyd guy. That's my thing. Nick, name one Floyd song you like. I like the Dark Side of the Moon album. OK, I wish you were here.

I mean, that's like an obvious pick. That's not on Dark Side of the Moon. Oh, you want to mean to name something off of Dark Side of the Moon? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I like time. I people will go with money, but I like time. How about Oh, that should touch. Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

Know that you feel and all that. He was he was singing along with you. And then he literally got the second word. I did. I was like, I was like, wait, I don't know how this goes. But I do like that album. He still isn't that album a lot. Let's see. I got the I like the Castlevania Symphony of the Night soundtrack. Oh, my God.

That's great. Oh, my really good. It's a great game. Whoa, you're interesting. Yeah, I like interesting. I used to I like a lot of jazz. I like John Coltrane. I like I like Cannonball Adderley. I like Sonny Rollins.

I love all that. Yeah, I play saxophone. I played saxophone, too. Did you really played alto sax and berry sax? All right. And you know what? Mr. Coltrane. I still play all the time.

Oh, wow. Do you really wait? Oh, man, this is going to I play my. Well, I pull it out for characters, comedy stuff. But I also I did a video with Kenny G. I got to trade riffs with Kenny G. That's cool. And I I man man.

There's a band called Man Man, Indie Rock Band. And they're so great. And they're my my my friends. Ryan is the singer and he has a solo project called Honest Honest and has a horn section. So I sometimes play. I will brag that I do play rock shows sometimes with him. And it is so great.

That's awesome. That's I have like four songs memorized. And I come up to them and I'm like, OK, see you later. But it's pretty fun. You guys, both of you should. I would love to see both of you up at the baked potato one night. They have an open mic night. I've never been to the baked potato.

I got to check it out. It's a famous jazz club. Yeah, it's a it's a fun spot. Kevin Eubanks used to be there back in the day. That's funny. Never playing as never plays a song. A full song. When you were wait, Coltrane was dead.

Was Coltrane dead before you? Yeah, he died of heroin a long time ago before you were born. I think so. I think in the maybe in the I you know what I could say. But I don't know. So I'd be making it up maybe in the but I think early like in the 70s. Oh, as well as well as you were alive then I wasn't I wasn't born in the 70s. I was born in 1980.

Oh, you were born in 1980. I thought you were 70s, baby. No, I was a 70s child. No, so with like John Coltrane playing like Kid Icarus's theme, be like your dream come true. Cannonball Adderly riffing on Zelda. So what's the Castlevania is like? How does that go?

No, it's the the Castlevania. Let's see. Like Yeah, yeah, really. I'm very impressed. Oh, yeah, man. I know some Castlevania, but Castlevania. Symphony of the Night was the Metroidvania, the origin of the Metroidvania subset

of games where they were doing these kind of they're doing like kind of like a Metroidvania. That sounds so appealing to me that I can't even process. Yeah, it was like like the Metroid thing. You know how in Metroid, you kind of like have this kind of open world that you kind of explore, but it's in a side scrolling context. The same thing when the Castlevania Symphony of the Night was the first one of the Castlevania games that did that. You're exploring like this whole castle and it's got this real sort of like

when was Symphony of the Progressive Rock score? Well, what's the system of Symphony of the Night? PlayStation originally, but it's also on the sake of Saturn. They've remade it a few times. Yeah, it's easily available. It sounds lame like now, like 3D and I mean, like in a now kind of game. Sure. Is it or is there still a blue, a blue potion?

I'm playing Zelda right now and there is there's some like one of the things you do in the game is you collect things to upgrade your clothes. So yeah, it's I mean, it is there's blue potions and green potions and stuff. Potions are never going away. I have to buy a Nintendo, obviously, and I can't do that. I'm not going to do that with the new, the new Zelda and also the music. Nick, I don't know how much you've got. You haven't played it.

I haven't played the new Zelda yet. Well, I love the music worth it. Yeah, Zelda's got some great. There's some score. They're like a zombie version because I love zombies. Can I? Is there like a PlayStation? Everything's a zombie.

No, I have. I wish I need to get PlayStation. Get a PlayStation. My friend David O'Reilly just made an amazing PlayStation game called Everything. Okay, what is it about that? I've heard about it. Yeah, it's a it's a game.

It is about consciousness. And oh, yes, I've heard you're kind of randomly assigned something to start as you're like a rock, but you can play as a as a barn you. And then you go into like so much subatomic level. You can go and be a virus. You can then expand outwards and play as a planet and buzz around solar systems. And all all the while unlocking philosophy by Alan Watts, he like got like two hours of like Alan Watts philosophy

talking about consciousness. Wow. And the like the gifts in the game are like, you know, you like unlock something and it's like Alan Watts like it is so amazing. And it just like is art like David made like this incredible piece of art. Like the first thing I've ever played a time I've ever played a game that was like, wow, that's really that's what Nick did it. Nick, Nick talks about that with the video game industry a lot,

that that's the it's the new movies. It's it's where artists will make things. And yeah, it feels like that's like that's like a burgeoning thing of like a lot of game. I mean, there's a lot of very creative stuff going on in big games. That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out. But it's pretty good. But but there's like a lot of especially with with indie game development. There's a lot of, you know, super creative people getting involved in that.

And I think we're probably I want to say we're like I don't know what stage we are analogous to the film industry, but it feels like we're approaching kind of that, you know, the point. What's that? The end point. The end point. I mean, of the world. Yeah, we're breaking the end point of the world, but VR is really going to. Is it going to be the next thing? I probably is it going to fizzle out and kind of be like, oh, everyone thought that was going to take a little or maybe it needs to get a level better or something like. Yeah, it's really confusing to me. Yeah, I mean, like will so on appealing to me.

Well, we're going to a movie ever, but not be appealing. Will that be a thing that people don't want to do at some point? I mean, they already there are people who don't mean they do, but then people still go to the movie so much in every Star Wars fucking makes a billion dollars. But that's also because that's like the distribution model of the new, you know, of the new films. And it's kind of like if all the best video games like arcade games used to be

like the front lines of when a good game would come out. I was like, oh, you have to play it in the arcade first. And then that a model eventually went away with these things were being released on home console first. So I feel like if these things were I think the movie attending a movie is enough of a communal thing event where there will be people will go to it no matter what. But I think part of the appeal is that it's the only place you can see new stuff a lot of the time.

OK, yeah. I mean, but as far as VR, like I'm a little bit of a I'm a I'm a VR skeptic for now, but I think it's eventually going to get to a point where it's kind of like everyone's doing it. When you're getting like you can like have sex, right? Yes, it's going to be like, oh, this is like realistic sex. All right, I'm down for VR now. That's when it's going to really tell.

And then and then people will not like I feel like people will stop engaging, right? But doesn't that seem more like a it feels dystopic, I guess, doesn't it? Like people already are stopping engaging in massive amounts. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, guys, we're engaging right now. Well, this is the best form of engagement, which is us engaging for others. Right. Exactly. Because I'm happy. I just want to have a great time.

Thank you for being here, John. You should if you get a PlayStation 4, you should play the last of us remastered and that's also a good. Yeah. Okay, it's great. That's a zombie game called inside to that's a side scrolling game. Yes, beautiful and amazing. The last of us is a great. It's that's like maybe my favorite game of all time. I like the last of us a lot.

It's only on PlayStation. Yeah. Yeah, I think three and four maybe or just maybe just it's on three and four. The remaster is on four. Hold on. What the fuck are you going to say about the last? Here's what I'm going to say. I just don't love cover shooter as a mechanic. Like I just like I can't. There's like a lot of that means it's like the part where you kind of like

have to hide a duck behind a box and then you pop up and you start shooting bullets at somebody. But to give you credit, it doesn't it doesn't do that till it takes a while for it to become kind of like that. There's some of that, though. And there's a lot of stuff you can stealth around so you can avoid a lot of it. But there is a lot of like combat. And I was just more interested in the story and the exploration. Great music in that game, too. Great music.

Oh, hey, you know what? That's that's some music I like the last of us score. Oh, boy, I actually have listened to that. Like a video game score, another video game score. I do actually like I had to remind him that he liked a video game score. I like the the score for Fez by disaster piece. It's another video great disaster piece. Yeah. And that's a I mean, like because like but a lot of these,

the video game music I can listen to like, like, do you like any new bands like arcade? What did I hear? What did I hear that I liked? Do you like? Oh, I like Ted Leo and the pharmacist. Yeah, well, he's great. Ted Leo is great.

My wife got me into Mario. He's good. OK, let's see. What else? Radiohead. You like I've heard some radiohead. They're good. Hip hop. Do you like Kendrick? I've heard some. Yeah, I've heard some Kendrick Lamar. He's good. I thought you were going to say I've heard some hip hop. I have heard a good amount of music on Spotify.

Yeah, I'll just like if someone tells me to check something, I'll listen to it. I'll be like, oh, that was good. I generally like most things. I'm just not like it is not like I'm not a passion for me. I get you. Yeah, I'm not used to play a lot of music. So like I'm fairly knowledgeable about it. It's just not something they spend a lot of my time thinking about. Do you get sick of it? Because I know that I know.

Do you get sick of me talking about it? You're going to say I was going to say, do you you you got sick of comedy quickly? Yeah, like immediately. Wait, you're sick of comedy? Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I got really burnt out at it. OK, OK, recently. I mean, like how about John? I hate comedy. Yeah, I love it. The last half. No, no, I love it. I still love it.

But I like to laugh, but I like I don't like work. I don't like working in comedy. It's hard not to be burned out. Yeah, it's like exhausting and I feel embarrassed being a part of the industry. You feel embarrassed. Yeah. Why? Because you should be doing something real, like being a doctor or a registered nurse. Partly that, I feel like I was like, oh, I could be doing more good for the world. And also, I feel like it's like it's kind of like you just know funny guys

and you're just like, oh, hey, you're a lawyer and you're a funny guy. But like, wait, but I'm a professional funny guy. You know, it's just like you talk about my Quincy friends with that. You say that. Yeah, your Quincy friends are just like funny guys. I got high school friends are just like funny guys. You know, they're just people, you know, and just like, oh, well, you can do something else and then just be a funny man. It's kind of like I feel kind of desperate being like, I'm the like,

oh, let me type up a joke for you, sir. This one will get some troubles. You know, but it's got it's an age old profession. It's not. Yeah, I mean, it's goes back. I mean, it's you know, it's a form of theater right doing your doing television. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's it's not a bullshit thing. I don't think it's a bullshit thing. I'm saying I feel so I felt self conscious being involved in it.

And I and I also don't have like a lot of fun. But you're still involved in it. Yeah, because I mean, I'm just I'm in a rut. Like I feel like I would I would love to I would love to blow, you know, blow this skate patch and go a few. All right. Oh, yeah. I want to retire. Of course. I'd love to get out of here.

But I mean, it just sort of like this is what I the one thing I can make money doing. Oh, yeah, I said that you were going to blow your brains out again. Yeah, that's I'd like to do that. I think a lot of people feel like that. Yeah, I talked to a lot of like writers and stuff that are just like, yeah, I want to get the fuck out of this business. But I gave Nick a ride right here today from his job and I had a meeting and I will say that we talked about this on the way over here,

like just trying to tell someone an idea, like just pitching out an idea. Yeah, you feel like so stupid and like you feel like trash. Like, like, I mean, like, these people just look at you. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, I'm saying this dumb thing. Like, I don't know if they like it. I have to like be positive about it no matter what. Yeah, you're like studying their face to see the reaction.

And then you're kind of like plowing through sometimes. And even if it goes well, it might feel terrible. And so you kind of just have to plow through it no matter what. Yeah, it's no one's fault. It just it's a it's a part of it's a part of that world. Yeah, you're never like, God, that was those really good. And then some people are just like, all right, that's weird. It's in my weird box in my mind.

OK, or they're not this box and you're just like talking to a blank wall. Yes. And then I'm just like, OK, cool. Yeah, I just want to cook in it. And I was like, yeah, I'm I love the before banter. You know, I'm a big banter guy until you guys are to, you know, like, just like, hey, what's up? Yeah, this is weather. Yeah, this is cool. Traffic traffic.

Give me a brisny. Traffic is killing me. That's funny because you and I did talk about traffic for a good 30 minutes on our car ride back over. Yeah, because it was an enormously long car ride to get back. It was better, which I guess we can segue into. Well, this this weekend Coachella made the traffic in LA very good. So if you drove around it all this weekend, right, it feels like LA

when it's just like empty, feels like Tron. It's like so well designed and you're like, yeah, that's perfect. Like get places in like 15 minutes. That was that was a part of what we were talking about is how just overcrowded the city. The LA is crazy overcrowded. Yeah. And you can and you and but if the traffic cuts down, like, I think it's like six or seven percent. Yeah. Then everything becomes perfect.

It's so fast. Yeah, it's such a small amount. But traffic is just made by that extra amount of car. I don't know. That's what I was telling Mitch is like with because, you know, Staple Center, which is downtown, we're getting so micro LA here. This is going to so so nothing for so many of our listeners. But when any event of this so we're like, we're downtown LA and which is like,

you know, that can be like an hour drive to where I live in Santa Monica. But, you know, like after like a if it's late at night, like after a Lakers game, I can home in like 16 minutes. It's ridiculous. Also, to be fair, you are the one who made it very micro LA. That's what I say. I was commenting on myself. I was coming last year, Lakers game, get in the car, Castlevania.

Why don't they play Castlevania music to warm up the Lakers ever? You know, they had they they work in some video game sounds. They put a little Mario coin effect when you make a sink of free throw. A lot of I was watching an NHL game and they had they had Fugazi. I am a patient boy and I was like, that's cold. It's also hockey game, you know, hockey is like Ozzie in that. They must have a hipster, right sound guy there. That's the cool sport.

I feel like all the cool kids. Oh, yeah, that's I love how no way NBA is cool. NBA is cool. No way. Excuse me. No way is cool. Let me tell you as the authority on what is cool, nerdy and lame. Yeah, baseball is kind of lame. It's like, you know, the crack of the band, the statue, what I enjoy.

Fuck you. That is funny. It's funny to go to the ballpark. I mean, the baseball is funny that there is like if you go to a baseball game, there are multiple old men that get the the program and fill it out with a little pencil and like they're filling out the little stat. It's the only right right where they're still an old man who is sitting and following the stats and filling it up.

Who's up? OK, let's see what he does with his at bat. All right. Well, too, he like fills out circles. He fills out circles with the wide. Yes, I feel like my dad does that. Yeah, there's there. There are baseball not to do that to follow the game. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm kind of like I just can't. Yeah, I just I'm just like, oh, wow, we hit it really well.

It used to be my favorite sport. It used to be my favorite sport. Really? I don't think I don't know if it was my fave. When I when I worked at Funny or Die, we did this thing and this speaks to baseball fans. And we we had this thing where like we went to Dodger Stadium and we were like took over the MLB Twitter account for a day. And I was like, oh, this is fun. Some they're going to get we're going to get some funny goofs

and some jokes from the MLB Twitter account instead of normally, you know, just like whatever normally news and stats. And so you're putting a little Brockmire swing. Oh, Brockmire in there. Actually, thinking of Funny or Die, actually, Hank Azaria was there. Like he did the he introduced the starting lineups as Simpson characters. It was a lot of fun. But great.

And also, too, I was on the field before the game and I got shoved by security for standing in the way of the empires. Like just like like they just grabbed me and like threw me crazy that you happen to say Brockmire, right? Hank Azaria. Hank Azaria. Yeah, I guess that's insane. He's got long ties to Funny or Die and he's been working on Brockmire for a while.

It's funny. He's got long ties. Like he's got a very long. Like a nice medium sized little joke. Go ahead. No, you don't like comedy. No, that was a pass. Those are real. Keep it moving. John, that's what this is all about. Right. Like a little

a little joke that everyone can enjoy. That's what I like about comedy. OK, but when the man's cracking the whip, saying, oh, my God, get these jokes done, 20 topical takes on Donald Trump's latest gaffe by 7 a.m. I'm like, get me out of here. And that's what he's asking you to do that. And besides, you're describing so many people's dream, what I laxadaisically produce, like like little word plays.

Right. Let me do it. And that's that's why Nick gave it back to the man and voted no on the strike authorization. And wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That's right. The WGA strike, Nick voted no. I'm a strong. I was a strong. Yes. And the W. I have a vote of photo paper ballot as was I as was I.

Yeah. In any event, here's what I was going to say. Yes. So we're at the baseball game. I got thrown by security and we took over the the the MLB Twitter account. And people get mad at you online. But I have we have never encountered so much rage from people like baseball fans were just absolutely livid that we weren't like, like, what the fuck is this shit? Why aren't you tweeting about Chipper Jones on base percentage? Like people were just like losing their minds to the point where

what like the the MLB like had to like issue an apology. And then they said like like one of the baseball teams. I think it was the Atlanta Braves was like the Atlanta Braves was like we had nothing to do with this promotion and we will never do it again. Well, and that was the funnier day. And that was for that was a funnier day. I think people chose to die on that one. They did choose die. Yeah, I'm with those baseball.

I heard it was a little more of a right right, right? It was immortal. Unfortunately, it was in the the crypt. Is that what it was? Unfortunately, the crypts, the crypt, who's someone at a was it Cal Pack is there somebody or a Dutton want to do a thing where they open up the crypt and it's like when the the Ghostbusters, when they open up the containment unit and all the bad sketches, sketches, but I bet there are some really good ones that people are just like,

this is so insane, cryptic, cryptic. I don't think they don't do the crypt model anymore. I don't know. I don't know how many I have a question. How many listeners do they know of funny or die? That's a that's a question. I would say probably we have like an indie comedy audience. I would say probably about a half of our listeners, at least as familiar with funny or die. It's it's remarkably it's not like a super well known brand.

I think people in the industry are like, oh, yeah, one of your die. That's will Ferrell's thing. But like, I think outside of it, I think people don't necessarily know what it is. All right. So we've gotten very inside here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you know, well, sometimes people like that. I'll bring it back right now. Yeah. When you're at a baseball game, are you doing peanuts, popcorn,

cracker jacks or this? I see what you're doing or pretzels. Rascal. All right. All right. I'm going to go off the board and say nachos. But all right for fuck's sake of that pick. I actually am a soft pretzel guy. I love a soft pretzel daily.

You a soft pretzel guy. I love a notch. You know, my ultimate is nachos, right? I have to say with those pickled peppers. Oh, my gosh. Just a delight. And then I like I like roasted peanuts, but I barely ever get them. What was the other? Oh, pretz.

I love you know what? I love a nice ballpark pretzel. A lot of fun. Here's the thing with pretzels. I'm not a huge hard God. I'm not a huge hard or something in my throat. Hard pretzel. I'm not a huge hard pretzel fan.

Right. Each time I said it, something gross tried to crawl out of my throat. Yeah. I'm not a I'm not a I'm not a big hard pretzel fan. Yeah, I like I like I maybe only like soft pretzels. Right. Is that is that strange? No, I think that's no. That's yeah. I mean, I really like those hard sourdough ones.

Schneiders of Hanover like rock hard. Like, yeah, you know, I love those. Those those if I'm going to do a hard pretzel, those are the ones that those are tight. Yeah, and you can dip them in stuff and they're pretty good. I don't love them. You don't love those hard ones too. Too crunchy kind of hurts your fricking gum hurts my teeth.

Oh, but it's so good. And you know what else there's in your mouth. You melt it with spit and then you're like, well, you mush it with your tongue. Yeah, I'm a grouse. Dude, I was trying to. If I'm going to have a hard pretzel, I like a mini pretzel. My issue with Snyder's is partly I had a co-worker who's a very nice man. But he was always eating Snyder's.

And when he offered you one, he would go, Snyder's like, he just had this like really annoying voice and he'd always Snyder's. And so any time anyone says Snyder's, I think of that guy saying it like that. And I'm just like, fuck, no, shut up. Well, maybe he's like, I just want this guy to know that it's not just any pretzel. It's a snack. Just a little English on it.

But I just thought it was unnecessary. You know what I hate is butter pretzel. Remember, they'd say like, oh, it's a butter pretzel. And I just have this like kind of like mellow, nauseous kind of like, I just want like it to be like bread, like burn bread or whatever. I don't even know what it is. Here's my here's my big thing.

Like pretzel buns. Pretzel buns are great. We can talk about pretzel buns in a second. My one more thing on pretzels. Oh, sure. A lot of salt. I need salt. No, no unsalted pretzels. Get them out of here.

Interesting. Too much salt. I don't want too much salt, especially if I'm getting a soft pretzel in like a place like Wetzel's. If you if you if you if you got that if you got that little the butter brush, if they if they butter brushed it, I don't need the fucking salt on there. You know what? Out there, if you're listening to this salt.

Yeah, you like salt. I like I like aggressive salt over salt, like not like so many. I like big salt chunks that are like the ice, the salt that you put on the road. I love visible salt. Yeah, no god big chunk crystals, but only like, you know, I only want like max four in my mouth at one time. I don't want like a big bite with like most salt. Yeah, I remember in that like I feel like growing up or something.

I don't even know what I'm talking about. But like there was more. There was more salt on things. I feel like people have tempered salt as they've taken it back a notch with salt. I don't know. No, I feel like there was a taste that was like coated in salt and you're like, I kind of hurts my like tongue because there's so much freaking salt on this. It could depend.

I mean, like it could also be just like, you know, as you age, your your taste buds get more numb to it, because I think I'm certainly less sense. Well, salt does that to you. If you use more and more salt, it kills your taste buds. That makes sense. But I think I think it's the truth. I swear that wasn't just some sort of permanently it makes it so that like you're it dulls your taste buds.

I just want to say you don't believe me. It's crazy that when you cut off somebody's arm, you put it doesn't grow back, right? I'm still tripped out by that. It should like I'm serious. Like you cut off somebody's hand. It should grow. It should take three years, but it should grow back, right?

Yeah, there's some amputee is listening to this and being like, oh my God, what this horrible person bringing up. But anyway, pretzels wise, I like a yeah, it's got to be. I feel like more often than not also pretzels at the ballpark are part of them is stale, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's got to be fresh. Not the whole thing, but like if you if you if you don't like salt on your pretzels, tweet at us hashtag, hashtag, hashtag, hashtag.

Guten tag. Slug life. OK. And how about you? You got you got to do it for the salt. And if you do like salt on your pretzels, hashtag Angelina Jolie. Nice. Oh, geez. Oh, geez. Oh, she's pretty. Oh, she's very pretty and single. Hey, all right.

Also, Aaron Rodgers broke up with the the X man. What's her name? Olivia Munn. Olivia Munn. Beautiful, beautiful. Lots of single ladies. Hey, it's Hollywood, man. It could happen. Who broke up with who? Are we gossiping?

Let's get to it. Yeah, we do a little gossip. A lot of people would maybe like better than us talking about our favorite food. But we just had like a TMZ sort of thing. We did a TMZ. You see this? The Americans finally broke up. Olivia Munn, what's the deal?

Mitch looks like Kate Upton and Jason Verlander on the outs. Hey, let's call the most famous person in my phone. David Duchovny spotted walking out of a sizzler with his pants around his ankles. What was that about? You know what, TMZ? I always got to thank you for letting me know that one of my good best friends, Harris, passed away.

So a shout out to TMZ, a piece of shit for that. That's how I found out from a TMZ link. I did, too. Yeah, yeah, terrible day. Yeah, crazy day. I know. Sorry to break it. Make it sad, but that is how I found out and forever.

Yeah, I hate TMZ forever. Oh my God. But I mean, right? I got to hate TMZ forever. RIP Harris. RIP Harris. Today's his birthday. We're recording this on his birthday and I'll be released like a week after.

Mm hmm. Good guy. Great guy. He would have been on here a couple of times and made it funnier. Then you or I ever could, Nick. Yeah, very funny man. That's my daily is doing that. You guys are taking over the MLB Twitter and you're like, I don't know if we're

putting it together. Oh, the give these guys. Oh, Major League Baseball is like these are the two guys that we're going to give our Twitter to. Well, to be clear, it wasn't it wasn't me and me. Of course you crashed and burned. Yeah, we did. We did crash.

Why don't you just let it? Why don't you just let him say it was me and because I don't want you to be culpable. I don't want you to seem like like you got exoriated on Twitter for being a part of this fucking shit show. I want you to take over. Five other funnier di-writers. Oh, it's funny or die.

Yeah, I'm wrong. I'm wrong. Yeah. Okay, you guys have a table covered in swag, including pink Oreos. Right. Pink Oreos. Those Oreos peeps are not bad. They are actually good if you want to have one.

Those are from, well, I mean, that's from two episodes. They're still good. I think they still have one the other day. Thank you. They're very, very good. Thank you. No. Well, take a quick break or we'll be right back with more Doughboys.

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No, it doesn't turn you invisible. It just makes the stench lines emanating off you disappear. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Am I a man of all stench? I don't think you're all stench. I think you're mostly meat. You get a little bit of stench, but this will certainly slim your profile a little bit. They want you to be comfortable.

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I don't know if you have to take it. I think people will stop saying it if you start saying it. Really? I think so. They're gonna make it go away. Uh-huh. Uh, well, well, they've got lots of great products. I'm wearing the active armor deodorant right now.

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You just don't have a lot of surface area to cover. Yeah, yeah, I know, Nick. Look, I got the power cleansing face stick out right now. Yeah, well, don't use it during the record. Why not? I mean, just don't, I mean, that's weird. It feels great. All right.

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for 50% off your first order. Mitch, what's that URL? Naturebox.com slash doughboys. Welcome back to Doughboys, sitting here with John Dailey. Hey, yo. So, we were talking pretzels before the break. Wetzel's pretzels is this week's chain.

Dailey, let us tell you just a little bit about why we landed on this. I know I soft-pitched it to you. I soft-pitched the soft pretzel place. And you were open to it, even though it's a place you've never been to before. But our buddy friend of the podcast, Evan Susser, lobbying very hard for us to do Wetzel's pretzels,

to the point where he felt like we can't ignore it. He was like, you guys got to do Wetzels. I know, Evan, yeah. Yeah, and I was like, why? And he was like, you just got to do it. And it's like, I've always liked it. It's great. It's like a great place to cover.

And maybe there is. Maybe there's a large demand for people to hear us commenting on Wetzel's pretzels. Yeah. Well, you'd never been before. I'd never been before. I went to the Galleria just after work now and stopped there. And I walked around.

It was fun to go to the Galleria, right? Galleria, it was fun. It was fun. You know what? If I have to go to the Apple Store, well, I don't want to give them a mall secret, but I don't go to the Americana, which is a more pleasant mall in which I kind of,

I think that I love. I love the Americana Grove, that mall, outdoor mall. We have a friend who will call him Bugman, because he doesn't tell his identity on the show. He moved the Americana. He lives there. Oh, I know someone who lives there, too. Yeah, somebody.

Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, we're at the same conversation. Yeah, he lives at the Americana. He walks downstairs and it's like, fly me to the moon and let me. And the fountains are kicking and he's like, maybe I'll just take a stroll through the keels. He'll go down to like in his sweatpants, he'll just go down and see a movie

and I'll walk over there and he'll be like, he'll be like. That makes it sound kind of. I mean, it does sound, it sounds great. It sounds like a fun place to live for like a year if you've got nothing else going on. If you can make indoor skydiving there, that would make it. Like that's your morning exercise is indoor skydiving. Just like you're 40 bucks.

You know what? There's no way you can live at City Walk yet. Once you can finally live at City Walk. Yeah, I bet there's there. Rebates galore. Think of the things you get slipped under your door if you make it at the Grove. Whoa, Barnes and Noble gift certificates.

You're like, oh my God, if I have eight friends who want to do this, like we can indoor skydive for $4 each. Well, it's also like I used to work next to a mall. I used to work and like the thing that was nice is like it was great for work lunches because you got the whole food court to choose from. And then you've also got the other restaurants that are at the mall.

You've got like 20 options. You can go two weeks and not repeat a place. I don't like crowds. That's my biggest. I don't love big crowds, but I do love malls. And then also so Wetzel's Wetzel's is one of those places that is specifically a mall. It feels like a mall stand.

Even though we all stadiums amusement parks. This was an airport. It was a stand. Okay, we weirdly we went to the one on Hollywood Boulevard today. Right. And I had never in my life stepped foot in that place. You've been to Wetzel's, but you've never been to this Wetzel. Yes, I've never been to this Wetzel's,

but I Wetzel's is always like a like either when I'm at the mall and I'm Christmas shopping and I'm like, I'm going to get a fucking pretzel because why not? Or if I'm in an airport and I'm sitting around for a long time, I'll get those. Those are the literally the only two times I think I've had Wetzel's pretzels before this. Maybe a baseball game or something like that.

Maybe I've never had Wetzel's just on my day. Like I've never been having a day and be like, I'm going to have a Wetzel's pretzel. You know, like, it's an impulse buy. It's an impulse buy. It's also like you have to be in the mood for a pretzel. Sure. In general, which is just like I want a loaf of bread.

Medium size loaf of bread. Right. And you don't always want that. I love bread. I love bread. Popcorn, maybe if of all of the peanuts, cracker jacks, popcorn and pretzels. I'd say popcorn.

Pretzels number two, peanuts, then cracker jacks. That's my ranking of them. Cracker jacks themselves are like, I would put, because I love kettle corn and like really delicious caramel corn. That's really good. Yes, I agree with that. I love, but I hate actual.

I don't hate, but cracker jacks are a little bit bitter and they just taste like the 20s to me. I'm like, what is this molasses blend? You should change the formula. Like, hey, cracker jacks. Yes. First of all, put some cool toys in there. And second of all, don't change the box,

but make the toys cooler and make the recipe better. Imagine if you open your cracker jack box. Jack-offs. Yeah, you fucking jack-offs. If you open your cracker jack box and you got Castlevania Symphony of the Night. Imagine that. How much cooler that would be.

If you had a PlayStation one CD-ROM. Yeah. I guess that'd be pretty exciting. They can put that on the PS, on the Vita now. Yeah, they can make that a Vita. Put a little game in there. Give us some cooler toys. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Please. Yes. And oh, please, if we have to ask you, please, put these toys in there. Also, what were we talking about? Where were we?

We were talking about pretzels. We went and Mitch gave his ranking of cracker jacks and pretzels. I felt like it had to be said. Yeah, that's fine. Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks. I don't care if I ever get back. So let's, no, I don't want to take this.

I was hoping we would hear the whole thing. Sorry. I had to go into performance mode and just have to act. I have to act. You know, I'm just like hyper like that. Those two are my, I like peanuts, so I'm not going to go in on peanuts. I like peanuts.

I like a salty peanut. And yeah, I don't need to shell them and have a mess of shells at my feet everywhere. It's fun to do like once. Yeah. Yeah. When you're like 10, you're like, there's food everywhere.

Right. That's what's different than most food. Right. It's okay. Everyone's letting me do this. But then you're like, you know, I'm an adult. I don't want, like, but nachos. It is fun throwing garbage on the ground

because it's a thing that you should feel bad about. But with peanut shells, you can just throw it on the ground and you can feel pretty good about it. Yeah. Yeah. I feel great every time. The movies, do you guys leave stuff on the ground? I do not.

Throw it away. I throw it away. I throw it away. I take it with. But I don't totally take umbrage when people just kind of leave some shit there. I'll leave stuff. Maybe I've left some stuff.

I don't know. I'll leave stuff usually in the cup holder. Like I'll be, I usually just have a drink. And if I'm done with my drink, I'll leave my drink there. And if I've got some trash, I'll crumple it up and put it in the discarded cup. See, that's funny because if I leave anything, it's usually like if I had like a hot dog or something,

and then I had ketchup on it, I'll throw the foil onto the seat because it's like a messy thing. You know what I mean? I just don't want ketchup on me. Yeah. So that will be the thing. Pretzels are not a movie snack. Pretzels are a movie snack.

How is that? I was about to say at the arc, like popcorn is number one to me. But then pretzels, pretzels are popcorns. Yeah. Pretzels have moved their, have moved their way up for me. I like, I like them more than nachos. I don't know.

That's crazy. That's crazy to me. That's crazy to me because just because also the variety of nachos, like all right, I was thinking about nachos as a thing. No, you guys are right. Not just nachos are better than pretzels. I am wrong.

I am truly wrong. I quickly take it back. This is you mature, bitch. Yeah. You're admitting when you're wrong. It is, fuck you. I don't like this. You're talking down to me, you fucking asshole.

Anyways, Weigher and I, we, our day was ruined because we had to go to this place that Evan Susser. Yes. And it wasn't even Wetzel's pretzels fall. I didn't grow up with Wetzels. I mean, I had it, of course, because everyone has it. But like Ani Ann's was, I feel like the. Auntie Ann's.

Auntie Ann's is the biggest. And they have that at the gallery and I walked by that. And I took note of the differences and they are very small differences. Like there are, there are hot dogs in puff pastry at Wetzel's. And then there are hot dogs and puff pastry at Ani's. They're just longer and there are, there's pepperoni. So it'll be a puff pastry hot dog, like essentially a cocktail weenie. That is a full, very large hot dog size, like oversized pepperonis on top of that.

And so they have stuff like that. And then Auntie Ann's, the big difference was they have cinnamon rolls and pieces of cinnamon roll and like crab claw or bear claws. A little more variety with the sweet treats they're offering. I thought you were going to say crab claw. I was like, holy shit. They're the same company or one's owned by Pepsi probably and one's owned by Coke. Yeah.

I think they're two different things. Yeah. They're just like a business model where it's like all we need is this kind of oven. We got the swirling air oven and we don't need that. We only need to train people to make these four things. And you just kind of feel, you're just like, oh. It's simple to franchise. It seemed like that was the case when we went there.

Because we went to the Hollywood Boulevard location. But Hollywood Boulevard is the worst. So that's why we were in a bad mood. Hollywood Boulevard. So that's a stand on Hollywood Boulevard? Is it like a separate from a strip mall or something? No, it's like a storefront, but it's like a small, condensed storefront.

And it's in a very heavily trafficked shopping area. No place to sit. We actually, and this is something I don't like doing, we went next door to Baja Fresh. Right. And we ate our pretzels in Baja Fresh. We did a little bad teenager move. Fascinating. Yeah.

And we were a little bad. We were being a little bad, like two little beavers. Bad little bitches. We've been bad little bitches. We were little bad little bitches. Did you like look at employees from Baja Fresh in the face and be like, pretzel. Because that's what the hell I'd do.

I think we both nervously looked around the entire time we ate. We tried it. We like went to the second level to try to be out of sight of the Baja Fresh employees. And then we were kind of like hiding there. And then a Baja Fresh guy like walked by to like pick up trash. I'm thinking like angrily picked up trash. Got to say, by the way, Chipotle has completely taken the place of Baja Fresh. They really have.

Never go to Baja Fresh anymore. Yeah. Because Chipotle is like 0.5% better like. Yeah. Baja Fresh has fallen on some hard times. But I used to be there like constantly. I used to go all their time. But by the way, there's only the one true king and that's Paquito Moss.

Wagga knows that. Yeah. Another LA local place, but Paquito Moss is fantastic. But yeah. The Paquito Moss by my apartment closed. They're turning into a Chipotle. Is this studio city? That sucks.

No, Santa Monica. I'd say keep the Paquito Moss and Chipotle. Those two can coexist, but Baja Fresh might have to get eaten. Yeah. We don't need to buy it. Baja Fresh has like outlived its usefulness. It's fine, but it's just. This is such a West Coast thing.

Nobody's going to, nobody's going to come. I think Baja Fresh is in some places. Yeah. Baja Fresh has spread a little bit. So anyways, we went to this place. We went into Baja Fresh to eat. Gone. We went to Baja Fresh to eat.

Hollywood Boulevard is just a bummer of a spot. We were not always feeling it. But I will say this about our Wetzel's experience. It was nice looking in the store. The store is like updated and like with so many of these places that you go, it's like, I feel like so many of them are just aesthetics. And Wetzel's Pretzels passed the aesthetic test, right? Wouldn't you say?

It looks nice. It's like, I like the clean yellow colors. I like that it's just like very vibrant. They got the big screen TVs. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's something, Wetzel's is something that is so nothing that it feels like it could be a combo.

Like this is a Wetzel's Pretzels slash Taco Bell or something like, you know what I mean? Yes. I think there are some co-rended Wetzel's Pretzels slash other restaurants. Yeah. It seems like such a combo. Like an A and W and a Wetzel's or something. Yeah. Wetzel's Togo's or whatever.

Yeah. Baskin Robbins Wetzel's. The Wetzel's Outback Steakhouse. All right. Well, you don't think about it. Wetzel's Annie's and it's crazy amount of pretzels. Best of both worlds, if you ask me. The thing, the problem with it is that you, like they obviously are trying to make it as

like a food, like not just, they are a food place no matter what. I'm saying like a meal spot. Like they're like their pretzels and their pizza bites. I guess those are still snacks. But there's some more substantial fare. It's a hot dog at dinners or the snack. I don't know. It's a snack.

It's like a, it's like a tea or it's breakfast, lunch or dinner. But they also had pretzels with just pepperoni all over it. And then that kind of cheese on it, but not like pizza cheese. Like, you know, just like burned calcified cheese type. Well, we can get into that because we actually got those. We got the. Oh, okay. I got, well.

Did you get some too? No, I got something different. We got the cheese. I got the cheesy dog, which was basically a hot dog wrapped in pretzel with cheese on top of it. Yeah. And I got the wetzel jalapeno cheese dog, which is that same thing, but it's got little jalapenos on top of it. Did you get anything like that, John?

I'll show you what I got. I got it right here. Got the wetzel's bag. Oh boy. Which says on it, moderate, but they're, they're, it says words of wetzel. Their slogan is moderation has a time and place. This isn't it. That is there.

That's the wetzel's motto literally. Wetzels is being a bad little bitch. It's like, Hey, guess what? We know we're sinful and you're a sinner. You bitch come to my mall place and okay. Now also the blue, the famous blue chef from wetzels. Oh, the blue chef. Yeah.

The iconic blue chef well designed and that's wetzel himself. Right. And also throwing up. Tell me if I'm right here, John. Is this blue chef throwing a pretzel in the air like a pizza? Like he's going to catch it on his finger. Wow. He actually is.

He's like throwing up. Yeah. If you look at the wetzel's pretzel's logo, it's a blue chef throwing a blue hue pretzel into the air like a pizza, but his fingers sticking. It's not good. It's not. It's not great. You know, when you think of like the, the, the logos that win prizes,

like the FedEx thing with the arrow, this isn't like that. No, it doesn't even really look like a pretzel. Honestly, I got something pretty boring actually compared to what you guys were just talking about, which is a little more jazzy. But I just got this like burn cheese pretzel. I got to say it smells pretty good, but it's, but when you get close, you can smell a little bit of a Dow Chemicals. This is just like,

So have you not eaten any of this yet? No. We're so sorry. It's probably, This is basically an unboxing. Okay. All right. I'm going to have a little mustard.

Yeah. A little mustard. That's a, that's a funny, because I feel like cheddar cheese is the, is the big. When I got, I got a jalapeno cheese sauce, but I, it's, it's totally cold. Yeah. I'm not sure. I'm going to use it. It looks very congealed.

I'm going to do, it's not even loose anymore. It just doesn't look good at all. Yeah. But wetsels, it's got to be a little bit warm. I mean, this, I'm going to take a bite of this, but it's like, To what's those credit, I will say that that stuff usually comes out warm. If you get it at the kiosk. Oh yeah.

No, that this has been, I had this at the gallery and then it took me a half hour to get here. Right. So yeah. And then we, we didn't like eat it either. I didn't know, I didn't know you would get to eat it. I'm sorry. I don't, well, I didn't think I would either, but I'm just going to, I'm going to take a bite.

If you guys want a bite. Yeah, go for it. You had some today. Well, you had some. Yeah. I was going to say that when it comes to the pretzel, and I wonder what you'll think of this, Nick, my favorite bite is that knot where the two, where the pretzel comes together. It's a nice little doughy bite.

Yeah. It's my favorite, it's my favorite part of, we apologize for this sort of talk. So lame. I like that knot. Oh my God. The knot is the best part of the pretzel. It's always, I'll always try to keep that knot section for myself.

It's very doughy. I get what you're saying. John, how was that? Um, it is not, I mean, you know, I'm not trying to be funny. Like it's not good. Right. It's not good, you know. Well, should we quickly talk about what we had, Nick?

Yeah. Very bad. With a jalapeno cheese dog. So I like Wetzel's hot dogs a lot. And I know that a hot dog is maybe a snack, maybe a meal. It's kind of in that gray area. Maybe it is in, it's Schrodinger's meal. It's at once a meal and not a meal at the same time.

But I had, I've had the cheese dog and the jalapeno cheese dog is just meals before. And I like it a lot. I think it's very filling. I think that's a quality hot dog. I don't know if it's all beef or not, but it seems like a good, like, you know, a knock worst, a good thick quarter pound hot dog.

And I think that, especially with that little bit of cheese burned on there, it's like burned cheese. And if you have that pipe and hot, it's real good. And then we also got, and how was your hot dog, Mitch? My hot dog, I will gotta say, my hot dog was actually, John, it was good. That's my favorite thing there. It was basically the pretzel.

Well, that's a hot dog. This is different. Like it's weird that you guys got hot dogs at a pretzel place called Wetzel's pretzel. This is actually the time that you get a pretzel. It's not a hot dog. We got, we did a few more things. We did a couple of things,

but I got that basically your pretzel you have there. You got a pretzel. Okay, sorry. I know I got that pretzel with the hot dog in it. It was basically that same pretzel with the hot dog inside of it. Oh boy. And the hot dog was juicy and buttery.

It was actually decent. It was good. It's really hard to mess up a hot dog. That's, I've seen it done, though. I've experienced some bad hot dogs. Yeah. There's some overrated hot dogs in LA. Oh, for sure.

I.e. pinks. Not good. It's just like eating diarrhea. And then you have diarrhea and it hasn't even reconstituted. That's, people, and people wait in line for pinks. By the way, pinks is one of the sponsors of our show. Nick and I, we love pinks and we love. Is it?

And we love diarrhea. No, it's not. You're doing it. No, no, pinks isn't. No, you're doing it. Pinks, put it in the stinks. Pinks, put it in the stinks. That's their motto, right?

Put pinks in the stinks. It's a better motto than freaking Wetzel. This, there's a time of place. Moderation has a time and place. This isn't it. That's the worst. That is not. First of all, it's two sentences.

How about like fresh bread? Fresh bread. It's good. How about German pretzels? How about pretzels? You're going to love these pretzels. How about pretzels are good food? Yes.

Pretzels are a fun, a version of that that's good. Yeah. That's a lot. I mean, it's a lot. No, it's pretzels are good food. It also says words of words of Wetzel above it. Words of Wetzel. Moderation.

There's a time and place. That's for like ladies who are like 350 pounds to go like. Fuck it. I'm addicted to the flower. But she doesn't know it. It's going to get the cadence of like an Oscar Wilde like quip. Like if you did that, if you like made a meme and like put a picture of Oscar Wilde there, people would sort of buy it.

I'm sure that there's more people in the world. There's a time and place in Monterey, and this isn't it. I don't think Oscar Wilde would write this isn't it. It's a little American. Yeah. You've seen it, bro. I bet you more people in America maybe know Wetzel than than uh uh what's his name? My friend.

And Oscar Wilde. Oscar. I was thinking Oscar Meyer. Oscar Wetzel. Oscar Meyer. Known far and wide. Jesus Christ. There is some bad branding there.

And also you're right. Why put moderation is the first word you see on the bag. It's a strange choice. It's not that much of an indulgence. It's a snack. Like you're not getting a ton of foods. It's a weird association. I do feel sick from what we ate.

I feel sick. We should tell what else we got. We got the we got the pepperoni pizza bites. The pizza bits. Bits. Yeah. And we got that with a little pizza dipping sauce. It doesn't come with a sauce.

Horrible. And if you don't have the sauce. Yeah, I'd buy this sauce. I feel like without the sauce those things are too dry. The sauce looked way too dark. Yeah, it was supposed to be a marinara. And it was very dark. It was like a Molle sauce.

Oh, if you want the sauce, you're going to pay two bucks. Oh, yeah. It's like the juicero of pretzels. I got to say, this bite that I just took at this pretzel is was bad taste. Like it was bad and I tasted the chemicals. And Wetzel's pretzel seems like it's like run by a guy that's just like, yeah, dude, I got like 17 companies.

Like Wetzel takes care of itself, bro. I didn't think about Wetzel's like expands itself. Like this isn't the worst, but it's just like, it's like Cisco systems just trash that they. This is the saddest thing for us because I think Nick and I might both like Wetzel. I had a lot of fun. I'll tell you what, Auntie Annie's, I feel like is better.

I feel like I have a higher standard. I agree with you. But they do rely too much on powders to like flavor. Like, oh, there's a nice powder all over my freaking pretzel. That's not good. Yeah. So you use that brush, put the paint it on. You got to paint it on.

Yeah. Or give me a free sauce, by the way. But then we have sweet ones too at Wetzel's. Yes. You get sweet at all. We also got, we got the pizza bits with the pizza dip and sauce, which I mentioned were a little dry, but we're all right when you dip them in that marinara.

The cinnamon bits were the one gone. Go ahead. I was just going to say, I think the marinara was overheated. I think that's why it was brown almost. Might have been too warm. It was too warmed up. But that was the shit. That goes in the shit pit of the meal.

That was the shittiest thing that we had. It was certainly visually displeasing. And then we also got the cinnamon bits. And that comes with this. We added the sweet glaze dip and sauce, and they offered to pour that glaze on top of the bits. And let me tell you, that worked out pretty well. Well, my pouring act blank.

That's so disgusting. I was shocked when Nick said yes, honestly. I did not know that you were going to say yes. Well, you guys, I mean, you're doing a podcast about it. I think you just have to keep saying yes. It's like when you go, you go to a place and they're like, you want your dressing mixed or on the side? Like, mix it up.

Mix it for me. Like, don't make me do these individual things. Except then our hands were fucking sticky, and we were upstairs with stick. Don't act like that's new for you. Oh, our hands are sticky. And this is new. I was licking my fingers.

That is new for me, son of a bitch. And we were in this place and we were scared of the of the Baja Fresh employees. We were both trembling. We were both trembling. And at the same time whispering to each other, we're bad asses. Yeah, you never felt more alive.

But I will say that marinara sauce tasted better than it looked, but the pizza bites bits were the worst. Yeah, they're very dry and flavorless. I think Nick and I both, I enjoy the hot dog pretzel. I think you and I both agree that the cinnamon pretzel bits were the best thing of our meal. Those are a highlight. Those are a lot of fun.

They're real. They're real indulgent. They're the Cinnabon quality, just like a real quality sweet treat from Cinnabon. Cinnabon's good. I like Cinnabon too. Yeah. I feel like Auntie Annie's has some Cinnabon aspirations.

I agree. Auntie Annie, Auntie Ann's, Auntie Ann's is, I think, is better than Wetzel's. But I do, I appreciate a bump. It's a little bit better. It's like one point. Yeah. But I appreciate, I appreciate Wetzel's for what it is,

which, by the way, is also, they're big on their lemonade. And Nick, I try to taste your lemonade. I foolishly got the frozen strawberry lemonade, which was good. It was, but it was just like a thing you could get at like 7-11 or something. Yeah. It was, it was good.

Wait, was there no seeding? No seeding. There's no, literally no seeding. Right. That's part of their thing. Yeah. They watch you out of there. Yeah, they watch you out.

Which I don't, on Hollywood Boulevard, it's a smart choice. This is meant to be eaten at home on your couch as you rot your insides out. This is like pure, I mean, this is like a recipe. I know that if I have another bite or if I ate this whole thing, it would be just like two days of full on like, oh, like diarrhea. Yeah. Makes so much starch.

It is so bad. Yeah, it's bad for you. It's, yeah, I mean, it's, it's why we're a dying, you know, it's, it's keeping us stupid. It's like, chemtrails are real, but they are, they are one thing. This is what is keeping humanity stupid. There is just like soma in this garbage food, you know, but at the same time, I eat it all the time.

I mean, I eat like fair amount, fair amount of fast food. No, I honestly, Nick, I wonder the last time you've had a non-diarrhea movement since this podcast. How are your movements? You think I diarrhea constantly? No, I'm joking. No, I don't want to, I don't, I'm not a guy, I don't, I'm squeamish about shit talk.

I don't want to talk about shit. Oh, you don't want to talk about shit? I don't like talking about shit. Interesting thing about you. But, here's the interesting thing, not a shit talker. I'm not a shit talking guy. Nick got a valve inserted and he doesn't actually take shits anymore. Wow.

Isn't that correct? Yeah. It's just like changing the oil on your, your old Chevy. You know what, you know what telling me that you don't like to talk about shit does? It makes me want to talk about it, but I don't need to. Yeah, I didn't realize that you had this hang up. I don't, I'm not comfortable talking about my own shitting. I'm not like, like, I'm not like, I like, oh, I'm going to tell.

Even when it was a joke when I said, have you had a non-diarrhea movement? Because I was honestly thinking about it. And I was like, well, I know the, I know the answer to that. The answer is, the answer is I don't have free chronic diarrhea. I know my bowel movements are, but I was like, yeah, it's uncomfortable when you go through a spell like that. So yours are like rock hard diamond heart. No, no, I, here, I don't want to go into details.

But I would say, I would say in general, I, I eat pretty healthy outside of this podcast and I put a lot of thought into my gastrointestinal health. And I think that my life benefits as a result. You could have just said that is the most so insane weird thing. Yes, of course. What is happening? Yes, that's it is insane. Oh, that made me feel insane.

What you just said made me feel totally welcome to my world. Yes. Thank you, John. He's insane. You could have just said, yes, I've had diarrhea since we started and just joked and never, and never, and never mentioned it. I know that you didn't really. But I wasn't sure why you put it on me.

I was like, why are you saying this about me? I was saying me too. I was saying together. Okay. I didn't get that you were being inclusive. I thought you were being accusatory. And I was like, why are you saying this about me? I'm in a bad mood.

Nick knows this. I sat on my testicle on the way to get, to get wettels. You pulled up Mr. Belvedere. I pulled up Mr. Belvedere. Did he do that? He did. Famously. Yeah.

Famously. He lives on my testicle. It was he sat on it himself. Is that the Belvedere theme? It's now my turn. I now feel insane with you two singing the Belvedere theme song. Wesley, come down and stand. That's also, I think that, that after the cancel, the symphony of the night soundtrack

is one of my favorite songs. Why did both of you look like you were singing like a ventriloquist? Neither of you were really opening your mouth. You got to do it. The weird voice to hear the voice. It's like counting to our new realm. You have to make the face or you can't do the drop. Kick the jacket when you came through the door.

Jesus Christ, you got to do out there. You got to YouTube. Go on YouTube right now. Computer heads and look up the missing. Tell me if I'm wrong. All your computer heads out there. Get online. Open up a browser window.

YouTube.com. Check out that Mr. Belvedere theme. Dial up. Dial up. Check in. Log on. R.I.P. Christopher Wren.

No, Christopher Hitchens. No, Christopher. Lloyd? Lambert. Lambert? Lloyd is still alive. He's got to play Lambert still. Barley is dead.

Got missing piece, Barley. R.I.P. Christopher, Mr. Belvedere, Hewlett, I believe. Okay, sounds right. Oh, all right. Is the actor who played Belvedere, he's dead? He died. R.I.P. I think it's Christopher Hewlett.

Look that up, too. And yeah, let us know. Did you have, John Dailey, did you have any other thoughts on the the wetzels over there? Did you have anything beyond that one pretzel you got? Let me look at this, the carcass of this cheese pretzel. So you just got the cheese pretzel and some dip and sauce would you decline to use?

I, yeah, I guess I had a less florid kind of palette than you guys. That's all right. Wetzel stuff. But I think the one bite that I had really did telegraph like the entire experience. I know because I've had Annie's, you know, I just never had wetzels.

So I think it just kind of like told me what my whole experience would be, which is just like, I don't know, like stuff like this. It just like is the, yeah, it's, it's, I can't do it. I mean, I would never, I would never, if this was the only thing I would do it, but I never choose this. I never choose like, but I would choose Cinnabon.

So Cinnabon, I would like, if I was in a certain mood at an airport, just chomp a Cinnabon because they're so, so good. Yeah. But yeah, I do other things, but like, I'd never go to Wetzels again. And I feel like the stuff in that, if something, if a food place is only stuff under hot lights,

you know, it's rough for me. I don't like that factor. It's kind of, it's all been sitting there for a while. It sounds like it kind of. It's unfrozen and then they freeze it. Yeah. And then they fricking put it in that and it unfreezes it and you're, then you eat it.

And then maybe warm it up a little bit more right before serving it to you. Yeah. And you can tell it's frozen just by biting it. Right. Like these are all frozen pretzels that they have, like, because there's little like dense parts and you're just like, oh, this is just,

I've had this before and if I was a kid, I would just like chow this and be like, oh my God, I want this for dinner every night because it's got chemicals in it that are telling your brain that this is delicious. Absolutely. Do you have a, do you want to, it sounds like you kind of give us

your final thoughts there on this whole, this whole, it's what seemed like a debacle for you. Do you want to give Wetzels pretzels a fork rating from the order of one to five forks? Out of five forks. Out of five forks, God. And this is, so tell me what this isn't, what's the category?

This is just all encompassing. Just overall, when you compare this other fast food, it's like Le Cirque. You can compare it, you can compare it to the other fast food and chain restaurants. I think you can compare it to the finest of dining if that wants to be your, your, he's going to give it like 0.0.

Well, that's crazy though. Make it your personal compass. My personal compass. Okay. However you want to rate it. That's perfect. Okay. Yeah.

Personal compass. I'm going to say that Wetzels pretzels. Wow. Yeah. This, this, this, and I can tell from the broader experience that I've gleaned, I think that Wetzels pretzel is honestly, if I'm being honest, is like a one half of a.

Wow. Yeah. It's really bad. I mean, it really is bad. I'm not, I mean, I could give it a one, but there's something at like, I think Taco Bell is like a one, one and a half. And I would really would put this,

I'd say, you know what? Auntie Anne's is a one. Wow. Auntie Anne's is maybe a one and a half. Auntie Anne's the one you say that's a, the good one. Taco Bell might be a two and. No.

Piquito Moss is like a 3.5. Piquito Moss is a. You're a harsh, you're a harsh grader. Yeah. Taco Bell is a, is straight five. If you're, if you have just like a multinational corporation that's cranking out terrible food, I'm pretty harsh judge.

Yeah. You, you, you grade really strictly. I'm, boy, I'm glad I didn't have you for UCB 301. Oh boy. This guy gets no yes hands. This guy does not know how to yes hand. Um, I'll give my thoughts. I like Wetzel's pretzels a good amount.

I think it does the, does the job that it's aiming to do. It achieves the purpose of the premise, the promise of the premise rather. It's saying like, we are giving you pretzels. Pretzel premise. They deliver on the pretzels that they're promising. They're, they're decent soft pretzels. They're warm.

They're usually well seasoned. I like them dipping sauces. The jalapeno cheese dipping sauce is good. The pizza dipping sauce is not my favorite. That sweet glaze dipping sauce is nice and sweet. Um, the regular cheese dipping sauce is something I'll, I'll use as an indulgence. A great staple center tweet when I'm at,

at a basketball game. One time I had an experience there where I took my, my favorite jacket, which I've sent loss since lost. I accidentally dipped the sleeve in some nacho cheese. Not the, the jacket you gave me a different jacket. No, the jacket you gave me is not my favorite jacket. Um, uh, but a, uh, a different jacket I had. I dipped the sleeve in some of the Wetzel's pretzels,

not so nacho cheese and it stained it pretty bad. Did you go, oops. And then lick it off the jacket like a fucking monster. No, no, I didn't lick it off of the jacket. Um, nor are all my bowel movements diarrhea, but I did clean it with a napkin. It was staying pretty bad. It, it fortunately recovered.

I'm not going to factor that into my score. I will say that overall, I think Wetzel's delivers. Hold on, you're not going to factor in the fact that you're an idiot and get your own jacket into the cheese. No, I'm not going to. Okay. Um, the lemonade's not bad, but just a little too sweet for me.

Sweet treats are very sweet. The savory stuff, I think does, does the job. Well, I like that almond crunch pretzels a lot, which isn't something we got today, but is a nice variance on the different kinds of pretzels they have there. I'm giving it four forks. Wow. Four for that.

You know what? That is just, that makes me think that you're an alien. That four forks out of five. Like you give this, you give Wetzel's pretzels four out of five. It delivers. That is legit crazy. John, we've, we've, we've had some bats places on this show. Well, what's, what's an example of a bad, bad?

Like, what's something that you- Carols is our number one bad, but then there's a lot of people that don't know what caros is. Cevaros? Jamba juice we had recently was panned pretty, pretty badly. Terrible. Yoshinoya we've been. Yoshinoya was garbage.

Oh, you went there. I've never been, yeah, I've only watched it from the outside. Real bad. But I would say most restaurants are good. I would say in general, I like food, so I'm going to enjoy a meal from a place. Yeah, but that's, if it's on the scale of I like food, that's, can't be a part of it.

You have to be like putting it onto another level of appreciation. Like I like food, so restaurants are good. So Wetzel's is a four. Isn't, that doesn't make sense as a discerning critic. You should be more hard on your side. John, that's my personal compass. I'm not going to argue with it anymore. All right, time for my personal compass.

Go ahead, Mitch. I think here's my theory. I think you're trying to be all brown nosy and kiss ass to these horrible places so that you can get sponsorships and get a bunch of Wetzel's pens like a whore. John, no way. Because you have no. Doughboys cannot be bought.

The Doughboys can't be bought. That's our logo. If we had a yellow bag with a blue chef tossing a spoon in the air for the spoon man, our thoughts that would say Doughboy's thoughts. What was it? They say, yeah, words of, words of Doughboys. Words of Doughboys would be the Doughboys can't be bought.

And we're not shills. We're not corporate whores. We say what we think. We say what's in our heart. We don't take any money from chain restaurants. Whoa, this big reaction is making me think that you had it prepared for years. This big reaction is making me think

that you actually are guilty of shilling and that you kind of tip the scales towards giving better grades to places that may or may not give you swag or maybe give you a shell, a North Face shell or some such thing. Absolutely not. Hey, we tip the scales, but because of our body weight. Oh my God.

We just high-fived. Very lamely. I think like it made the opposite of a sound. Yeah. It was a little sound vortex. Do you feel like doing this? It was like air being sucked into an airlock. Do you feel like doing the podcast

has made you guys eat differently in general? Yes, I think yes. It has so much work. It has affected your, yeah. We did a chicken nugget power hour last week. I ate 45 chicken nuggets. Oh my God. Gabriel's ate 62.

See, that sounds like heaven to me. That's, I love chicken nuggets. Oh, what would you get McDonald's? What would McDonald's, you're for creating for McDonald's. Oh, McDonald's. I mean, McDonald's is just such a, there's too much historicity with McDonald's for me. The founder.

You can't really just, I mean, if you base it off of their food, like, but then there's like, oh, I love the founder. No, I didn't see the founder. But I, yeah, if you really take, if you separate it from like childhood magic, like I would give McDonald's like a three, because like I go to, or maybe a two, 2.5,

but like a positive 2.53, because I go to the airport and eat like a breakfast sandwich. And I gotta say, it's insanely enjoyable. Just don't put it under a black light, because it is, it will glow in a way that will make you go, this is not food. And yeah, just keep it white light or yellow light on that thing. Yeah.

You don't mean because there's like, it's been tainted, like someone's like, no, it's just, I think there is a chemical, like the sulfur and the egg or something like that. Like, I got you. Just try to get a, get him a griddle and go under a freaking black light. It's like there's, it's made of a solid sperm.

By the way, Wyger, you are, you don't want to talk about your bowel movements, but you so easily talk about every fucking load of wet dream you've ever shot out of your fucking body. Wait, it's a different function. It's a different bodily function. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, actually he's never talked jacking off or wet dreams.

We'll talk about other discharges. Yeah. That's a different discharge, a different hole, different circumstances. You'll talk about other discharges. Right. Wait, you don't want to talk about my corny poop. No, I don't want to.

It's all corny and smells kind of like the food I ate. No, that's gross to me. All right, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to give my final thoughts. All right, all right. Um, my final thoughts are, look, even though I said it wrong the entire time, uh, Auntie Ann's, Auntie Ann's is my number.

I'm team at, uh, Auntie Ann's, Annie Ann's. I'm team Annie Ann's over, I say aunt, weird, I guess, over, over Wetzel's. I, I, I, I, but I do enjoy Wetzel's. It's good if you're at a mall when you're Christmas shop and it's good when you're at the airport. It's in that hot dog was decent, but I like the classic with just the plain with some cheddar cheese sauce.

Right. I didn't like the location. Hollywood Boulevard is not good. That shouldn't factor in though, right? But we're, but sometimes we do judge based on, on the, on the restaurant itself. But that's a uniquely bad location. Mine was the cool, dry Galleria.

It was cool and nice. Yeah. I see it's, it's, and it's not, it's not, it's false that it was, that it's located on Hollywood Boulevard, I would say. I was in a bad mood. I sat on my testicle. It's been a bad week for stuff down there. I don't like to talk about that stuff.

This particular injury specifically. Yeah. Okay. But I, I, I have fun with it. Wetzels is just like a good stand by snack place. You're not going to get dinner there. You're not going to get a meal there, but it's fun to have a snack and pretzels are moving up.

I love popcorn. Like I said, I like, I like, I like nachos, but pretzels are moving their way up. I like a good pretzel. If I go to the arc light, sometimes instead of popcorn, I get my pretzels are moving their way up. They're moving on up in the world. In the zeitgeist.

They've been around for hundreds of years. They're not moving on up. They literally can trace them back to six century monks. Potato chips are getting to be everywhere. What? If I'm at a movie theater, I think I'm going to go with a pretzel. A lot of times, you know that I love popcorn, but it sometimes makes me feel not great.

And a pretzel won't do that to me besides today when we ate too much. A red pretzel won't make you feel like crap for three hours. It makes me feel like absolute ass. Not as, not as much as buttery popcorn. If I get the butter and the popcorn. I like dry popcorn now just because the butter does me wrong. It does me right. It's starting to do me wrong too.

So pretzels are moving up my, they're moving up. Especially if it's the only thing in your stomach and you just see that popcorn butter. Yeah. Like halfway through the movie, you're like, I am like toxic. Yes. Yep. And I do that way too often.

You heard it from smooth man. Pretzels are moving up and also look out for weight. Wait, you didn't give a, did you give a number? I'm going to do it right now. Three forks. Three forks. Three forks. Three forks.

Very forks. All right. That was our review of what's a pretzel. I feel like you guys just, it's very fascinating for me to be here and see how your minds have warped, you know, doing this podcast. You're so like giving it like these grades. It's just like any human, you're, you're past human. Giving these grades to like, I mean you're, you're,

there is something warped about your sense of food and it's clear to me. This podcast has made it clear and I think that people should know that. And that, that is part of the fascination here because this is warped. Nobody would give it these grades or this consideration as a good place or to speak of it in tongues. Like I feel like you guys, and I'm not saying you're trying to get swag, which why wouldn't you, but I'm saying that your, your minds are literally warped. It's, it's our scale.

And guess what? We are warped. You know why? We're a couple of badasses. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah.

No, I'm just razzing you, but at the same time, it is true in a certain way. Yeah. Yeah, we're warped. We're crazy in the head. I'm not going after you guys. I'm not going after the dough boys. I'm not trying to need the dough. You know what, if you, if you went after us, you'd be the one in danger

because we're a couple of badasses. Oh man. Is that when you're a lot sees? That's when you're tropes. Well, I love when they go, we're gonna blow badasses. We're a couple of badasses. Yeah. Sorry.

This is what we do on the podcast. All right. Jesus. That actually, that actually isn't one of our any guys. We just did that today, but we're having fun with it. Every podcast has its thing. Oh, Thunder Buddies. But guess what?

We're going to use that from here on out. Probably we're going to keep using it. We'll put, we'll put it to death. Can you say hi to ho? Heidi. Hi. I say hi to ho. Howdy ho from the Spoon Man.

It's, you know, wait, what's Spoon Man? That's my nickname. Like, you know how I like garden? No, no. Spoon. It was kind of like that. Sometimes that song is played when I'm introduced, but uh. Hey, you know what?

I kind of like Soundgarden. I kind of like that 90s. We found a band. Soundgarden's great. I like Soundgarden's band. You stumbled upon a band that Weiger enjoys. Yeah, and all it took was a 1993, the 1993 band Soundgarden. Yeah.

A lot of fun. I'm going to break my rustic cage and roll. Oh, pretty good. They're no, oh, they're better than Pearl Jam, I think. They're, they beat. Oh, that's tough for me. The 90s rankings. I like Pearl Jam a lot.

That's its own podcast. That's its own podcast. That's called The Rock Bud. All right. That was Wetzel's pretzels. We got a food stuff. We're going to decide if you should put it in your mouth. This is another edition of Snacker Whack.

And Mitch, we got something that you found this time. That's a little. That's right. We do what they call Snacker Whack. I love Snacker Whack. Do you know what? I didn't know it was called that. I didn't know it was a section.

We have a section called Snacker Whack, and we've been doing this for two years. And you know what? On ESPN the other day, they were doing Snacker Whack, and I think that's fucking bullshit. Wait, are you joking? No. I don't.

Yeah, I think it was stolen. Weigar is nicer, but I don't know. I think it's parallel. I think, because I think the first thing, when people are coming up with segment names, the first thing that you do is you're just thinking of rhymes. And so it's just like Snacker Rhymes with Whack. Sure, Snacker Whack.

That's fine. I mean, I could say it was literally our first idea and our first episode. It is stolen. They stole it. I'm serious, because all those people that do that crap are like alt comedians, and they're into podcasts. They're into your podcasts, and they were just like,

you know, kind of like, you know, I know I'm stealing this deep down, but at the same time, there's plausible deniability, and they're like, what are they going to do? Come after me. Right. So they definitely stole it, I think. Okay, fine.

Yeah, they stole all of this. That's just my opinion. I don't know. I agree with you. Well, I think that happens a lot. Well, I'm going to say, John, we have a snack here that I'm going to guess already. You will definitely rank it Whack.

We got some baked goldfish crackers. They're Grahams, and they are vanilla cupcake flavored. And they're Graham Cracker. They're goldfish. Yes, but they're goldfish graham crackers. Like the cheese flavored snack. Like the cheese flavored snack. So baked the similar of Petridge Farms,

goldfish vanilla cupcake Grahams. God, I love, this is going to take me back to my days growing up at Petridge Farms. You grew up at Petridge Farms? Yes, those salad days just walking around and seeing the goldfish growing in the patch, in the goldfish patch. Oh, they grow.

Oh my God, that sounds like a nightmare now. And of course, the Milano's. Don't even let me get into those mint Milano's. Petridge Farms. All right, I'm about to try it. Petridge Farms does seem like a fun place, but then it's probably just a shitty factory, right? Have I had a guess?

Yeah, it's not like a tranquil, beautiful, picturesque farm. It's, you know, it's a brand name. I took one, two, three, four, five, six of these, which maybe are too many. Here, I will say this right off the bat. I'm eating four right now. I'll say this off the bat.

The regular goldfish, these are flat on the bottom. The regular goldfish are bulbs. Yeah, they are like very well designed, kind of like very pleasurable things to bite into goldfish. Yeah, and these seem a little bit different. These are, you know what? These are Teddy Grahams. They're like Teddy Grahams in the shape of fish.

Yeah. Snack. I'll say snack on these. They're pretty good. These are great. I would eat like 5,000 of these. These are fantastic. They taste like Nilla wafers, but they're in goldfish size shape.

Can I have some more actually? Goldfish shape and size. So you can eat a bunch at once. You're right on the Nilla wafers tip. These are very Nilla. Older vanilla cupcake, of course. I'm shocked. I was so sure these would be bad.

Yeah, and they're good. They're fantastic. It's a snack for me, John. Very good. I would say snack. Oh, yeah, snack. I would snack on this. We're in unity.

That was a quick snack. I would snack on this at any point. Yeah, and we're in a hand holding club on this one. You know what? You could put these in milk and they could be cereal. Oh my God, that would be great. Actually, you're accurate. No, I got 100% cereal.

These better than anything you could get at Wetzel's? I don't know. I'd have to compare them with the hardcore Wetzel's cinnamon things. Yeah, because I didn't really have any of those. But I imagine they're just different. They're apples and oranges. Those are good. Those are fantastic.

Those are fantastic. Holy shit. Yeah, they've got that. That vanilla tinge makes them even better vanilla wafers. So often, I feel like we'll get some trashy. When they try to do something weird like this. When they try to get too fancy. They're usually trash, but that is fucking.

Pepperidge Farm relieves all the publicity they can get. They need you to put the word out about their new varietals. At Pepperidge Farm, if I hope you're listening to this, I hope you hook us up with some swag because we're whores, baby. Yeah, we're fucking dope whores. We worship the almighty dollar. Get them some gators or something. Just like a restaurant.

Hey, Nick, when I get too old and it's past my time, will you bring me up to Pepperidge Farm? Just let me run. Spread my ashes over the goldfish bush. Pepperidge Farm. Should we try the other snack? Oh, wait a double snack or a whack. Wait, I don't know.

I thought we were. All right, let's do a double snack. Yeah. Yeah, John, thank you for embracing the badassness of this. Wow. I'm all about hell fucking. I'm all about this. I was transitioning to the next segment.

I was starting to set up the feed bag. Daily throws this curveball. We have two snack options and we're going to open it up. We got ourselves a mid-bottom. Which one do we have? I've actually never seen this. I got these at Albertsons. The lady at the checkout was very excited about these.

These are Oreo chocolate candy bars. We used to have three. I will set this up. We used to have three. It's perfectly crunched in two. It's chocolate. It's like very milk, light milk chocolate. Inside is Oreo cream with Oreo chips.

That's right. It's very creamy. And so we used to have three of these candy bars. John Gabers ate one after the chicken nugget power hour. Here we go. Yeah, he'd eaten 61 nuggets and then he had one of these as a chaser. He's a mad man. It wasn't on the podcast.

Oh, John Gabers is totally insane. He'll eat whatever snack can be more. You know what's crazy? Two snack are wax. Double snack day for me. These Oreo chocolate candy bars are fucking good. I'm with you. I like the milk chocolate coating.

I like the Oreo cream, which doesn't necessarily look appealing when you bite into it. But it actually tastes pretty damn good. And the little bits of Oreo give it a nice little bit of crunch. Pure snack. This is snack all the way. This is snack all the way. Now, I prefer I prefer a take five.

Like it's a comp. This is a very complex bar, right? It is. It says different elements and like the Oreo cream with the Oreos inside is it's a it's a little bit creative. It's not like a staple, but it's definitely a snack. Yeah. All right.

Hell yeah. That's good as hell. All right. Oreo Corporation Nabisco. Send some shells. Send us some fucking shit. Send some shit to the horse. Yeah, you guys are a horse.

You guys get a peppered farm letter jacket or something. Some down home. We bully people around UCB in our leather or our peppered farm weather jackets. Yo, you know, I got this from Toe Boy. Yo, I want a big Oreo, like a big comfortable Oreo chair. Like it's an Oreo, but it's a big comfy chair. Oh man, that sounds badass. I had a Darth Maul inflatable chair at one point.

That's pretty sweet. All right. Never mind. This bit's over. Let's move on to the next segment. Just like a restaurant. You got a Darth Maul chair. Yeah, it was awesome.

That is kind of funny. Is it like you're sitting in Darth Maul's horny lap? It really was. With his red dick sticking in your butt. His red and black Darth Dick. Dick Maul. That's what his friends call him because his dick was so gnarly. Darth Maul is the cool of any of the Star Wars after episode six.

Darth Maul is the best creation. He's awesome. That's what I'll say. What about Char Char Boom, bro? Oh boy. Char Char is not as bad as people make him out to be. He's pretty bad though. But he's pretty bad.

He is. I'll say that. Char Char is not great. Just like a restaurant value feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email comes to us from Paul, a.k.a. at Weisaker. Paul writes, I've had several conversations over my four decades of life about this question, which is what makes a fast food restaurant?

He's 40 and he's Weisaker. For me, it's always been the drive-thru. But the problem with that is it puts pizza, most sandwich and other chains like Five Guys and Chipotle into some other category. So how would you guys answer this question? What makes a fast food restaurant fast food? John, any thoughts on that? Oh, what makes fast food fast food?

Yeah, what makes specifically a fast food restaurant a fast food restaurant? Well, you could go with the obvious thing, the word fast and say that that means quick and that means you get your food quickly. But there's definitely stuff I would say, there's enough of a gray area that fast food is probably Burger King, McDonald's, and Wendy's. And Shake Shack is maybe, I wouldn't say it's fast food. It's a burger place or something like that. But that's it.

That's funny to break it down that way because I've never... Like Taco Bell is definitely fast food. Taco Bell is fast food, but I love it. And then also, in my mind, maybe Shake Shack is still fast food. I don't know. It is, right? I mean, it is. I just maybe, I think you're right.

I think that I... No, no, no. But I also, I'm behind what you're saying too. I think that that does make sense. I'm like... Like Umami Burger is different than fast food, but it's still pretty fast. It's a restaurant. Here's my thought.

Here's my line of demarcation is counter service versus table service. I feel like that's easy. Do you order from a waiter or do you line up to order to counter? What about getting a number from the counter and they bring it to you? I still think that qualifies as fast food. Fast food. Yeah. I think to me that's the...

And it's not 100%. Like a sizzler isn't quite fast food. You're ordering at the counter a lot of the times and then they're... You know, that's not quite fast food, but I think in general, that's like a clearer, easier place to draw the line as a general guideline. But I think, yeah, you just got to evaluate it on a restaurant by restaurant case by case basis. Don't get hung up on the types of food or the quality of food because you'll have great quality food from fast food, some fast food places.

And you'll have bad quality food from some sit down restaurants. Go ahead, bitch. No, I think that you've drawn the line for me too because that is... It's a hard thing. Like, I think dominoes is fast food. Yeah. And then I think that you can get pizza from a pizza place that you like. That's my cat, by the way.

Wally is meowing in the other room. Hey, Meowers. Meowzers. Meow. Wally, quiet. Wally, the moment of meow is for the Doughboys double. Jesus Christ. Moment of meow.

We do a moment of meow. You know... Oh, wow. Wally's always so quiet. Very vocal. Sexy meow. Yeah. Well, I hope they're one, not having sex, and two, okay, in there.

I'll find out in a few minutes. I agree with you, Nick. Like, yeah, dominoes in those places, they're fast food, but then... Pizza is fast food in general, then. Do you think pizza is fast food in general? Well, there are gradients of pizza, like dominoes, they unfreeze a pizza. And then there are the real Italian chef spinning it in the air. And so, like, a real New York or LA political place, do you think that's fast food?

That's fast. Well, that's... Is mozza to go fast food, I ask? Oh, my God. Again, I... No, I don't think so. I think... But then you're talking about ordering to go from a place that's primarily a table service restaurant.

Okay. Like, if you get outback... Like, I don't consider Outback Steakhouse fast food, even though you can get it to go. And for a time, they had to go windows there. They might still have them at some locations. No, that's fair. I think I agree with the table service thing. I think that's a smart way to bring that out.

But what about... Oh, yeah, yeah. Because there's drive-thrus and non-drive... Like, Denny's is the... Like, Denny's is definitely a restaurant. It's a restaurant. But Denny's is kind of fast food. It's fast...

I'd say it's fast food quality food. I think they're fast food restaurants with better food than Denny's, but I would say Denny's is a chain restaurant. That's like a sit-down restaurant. That's a sit-down chain restaurant. Like, that's right below. That's between Chili's and McDonald's. Right.

Denny's. Yeah. Well, it's... Except McDonald's is above them. Yeah, I take McDonald's over McDonald's. Well, the McDonald's is its own special... I mean, quality of food, what they're aiming for, like... Sure.

Yeah. But McDonald's is its own, like, thing. This is... It's, like, a phenomenon. And McDonald's, which we haven't... We ate a hundred... No, we didn't eat a hundred. Well, we ate over a hundred nuggets in the last episode,

but we still haven't reviewed McDonald's. We will at some point, but... Yeah, maybe not. Yeah, maybe not. Nick and I, you know that we love McDonald's. Have you done Chick-fil-A? We have done Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A might be due for a revisit.

Yeah. We did that very early on in the podcast. With Betsy. We might need to re-evaluate it. But we did have Chick-fil-A as a contestant in our recent tournament of champions, to find the best chicken. And they lost.

They lost. Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich won. Wendy's did. Wow, their whole thing at Chick-fil-A, obviously, eat more chicken. And they lost. They lost. Wow, that's controversial.

Yeah, Chick-fil-A. With a second place, at least? No, they didn't... They didn't get... And people... I think people were a little upset about that. They were a little upset, but, you know, And also, people said that I took it too seriously,

but last year, you literally put a restaurant that lost into the next round. Justifiably. And I didn't care about who won this year. I truly did not. Yeah, well, I think we both care a little bit. I mean, I wanted Wendy's to win. Yeah.

I mean, yes, I'd like to win. You want your putties to win? Well, let's see again. Shwagging it out. And you know what? My new Wendy's Nissan Altima is proof. It's got Wendy's face on the hood. Bright red.

Gorgeous. Runs on recycled vegetable oil. Runs on Dave Thomas' riding course. Oh. Moving a hamster wheel. Oh, no. And the inside? The interior?

All Wendy hair. Red, Wendy hair. Red and Wendy hair. Oh, all of her body hair. Think about that. All of her body hair. Oh, all of her freckles, her skin. Oh, God.

It's the leather on the car is, hey, listen, I calls them like I sees them in my imagination. She sacrificed to become my car. And I think that's beautiful. All right. We don't need to talk about slaughtering Wendy or Dave Thomas, for that matter. We can get back to snacks and.

Well, that's that's that's our last segment. Yeah, I think we're done. It was a doozy. Yeah. That was great. You know, I think it was great. I think it was really good stuff. Yeah.

I think we did great. Good job, guys. If you have a question. That was a great question. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you know, that's the Doughboys podcast of Gmail.com to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episodes. Subscribe at patreon.com slash Doughboys.

John Daly, thank you so much for joining us. Do you have anything you would like to plug at this time? Let me know if you guys let me know if you guys need a third Doughboy. And I'll take an even split three ways of all the cash. Right. And of course, the swag. Sure. But if you guys want to make it, it would be a real simple change.

Just add me to the podcast permanent. Guess what? You're not putting your hand on our swag. Well, everything else is up for grabs. All right. No, that was great. What do I have to promote? God, nothing at this point.

I have videos coming out and a short film I made with Gillo Zare called Men. That's coming out soon. And then I have a and I'm dying up here. Showtime show I'm on is coming out June 4th. So watch that. Oh, yeah. I'm very excited about that. Yeah.

It's a little appearance in the pilot. Yeah. John, I saw you very early on in my UCB career career. Jesus. I saw you very early on at UCB like 10 years ago. Right. And you were up there doing cracked out and you and Gellman and you were very, very funny.

And then afterwards, you're also very nice to me a young comedy man. A very funny lovely man. Yes. Yeah. Well, I thought I was like, you know, infiltrating, you know, the comedy scene. And I was like, you know, that's gonna be nice to this Mitchell prick. And he seems so fucking annoying. And everyone was like, yeah, he's pretty funny.

He's doing him and like, he'll probably be successful. And so it's all kind of panned out. So that's why I'm still nice to you. Like to this day, like, because it seems like you're doing good. This is this is a nice look at this guy. I'm like, look at this guy do for me. That's why that's with anyone. I mean, we're all living on this planet.

You've sadly found out nothing just like everyone else. I can't do much of anything. But you're a good man and a very, very, very funny man. You're very funny. You guys are brilliant and great. And it's a shame that you don't enjoy being in comedy, Nick, but you're very good at it. You are good at it, Nick. And I liked your your your I think that speaks to that your Jar Jar Binks.

Oh, yeah. On your die video where you're like my by the time my father was my age, he had done this and this and this. Now you know where that comes from. Now I know where that comes from. And it was so funny because it is from a totally real place that I feel every day. I feel like I wake up in the morning. I'm like, oh my God, what do I do now?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I'm inadequate. That'll do for this episode of Doe Boys until next time. You're adequate. I just want to say you can't leave on that note. God bless you. You're adequate.

I'm adequate. You're adequate. I'll take it. I'm going to quit. That'll do for this episode of Doe Boys until next time. For the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigar. Happy eating. See ya.

Adio.