Doughboys - Which Wich? with Josh Gondelman

Episode Date: June 27, 2019

The 'boys are joined by writer and stand-up comedian Josh Gondelman (Desus & Mero, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver) to review a Dallas-native sandwich chain, Which Wich. Plus, a ranch edition of Drank or Stank. Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It sounds like a position that would exist at a Silicon Valley tech startup, or perhaps a particularly self-aware adult novelty retailer. But it's actually the official title of restaurant tour, Jeff Sinelli, the founder of one of the fastest growing sandwich franchises in the world. Sinelli's first successful chain was Genghis Grill, a Mongolian barbecue concept that originated in Dallas and marauded its way to conquering five states with 11 locations. He parlayed that success into a more mainstream fare, selling off Genghis Grill in 2003 to open a main-to-order sandwich shop in the Big D. His sandwich chain's name, which ends

in a question mark, hammers home its emphasis on customer service and its unique ordering system, patrons use Sharpies to mark their Sammy choices on brown paper bags, proved a streamlined customization and reduced costly sandwich-making mishaps. Today, Sinelli, the hippie at heart who built his fill-bread brand on the back of a Mongolian barbecue empire, now has nearly 450 locations in 28 countries. Speaking to the Dallas Morning News in 2018, Jeff Sinelli reflected upon his success with a tone one might expect from a man who anoints himself chief vibe officer. Quote,

The world of eating out has moved light years ahead in the past 15 years. This is a recalibration of that world and where it's going. It's also a recalibration of Jeff. This week on Doughboys, which witch? Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Last Action Euro, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. That was courtesy of Seagulls at SGLLS. Yeah, yeah.

Is that the band? I think it's a band. It is the band. Okay. Well, Seagulls roasted, you're good. Last Action Euro, roastspoonmanatgmail.com if you want to have your insult for Mitch Redd on the air. I'm gonna do a burning of all their CDs and tapes.

Like the disco sucks night? Yes. Minor League Baseball in the 70s? Or maybe that was the 80s. I don't remember the exact era. Maybe. I think it was the 80s. Yeah.

The disco died with the 70s, Nick. Yeah. I mean, some said that the 70s were the last days of disco. They were right. Yeah. It died with the 70s. Right. What was that like?

What was that decade like, Nick? I wasn't born in the 70s. I was born in 1980. You're an 80 baby. Yeah, I am an 80 baby. You know what I like about it? Even though my birthday is in August, so it's not true for most of the year. But my, the zero or the ones place of my age generally lines up with what year it is.

Cool. Which is a lot of fun. So like I was, in 1990, I was 10. That's cool. 2020. 3000. 30. Wait, so is 40 this, oh no, it's next year.

Oh boy. Soon it's going to be this is 40. Wow. Are you going to start eating cupcakes out of the trash or no? I'm going to go play Scrabble on my iPad in the toilet when my wife gets a mammogram or whatever happens in that movie. Robert Smigel is going to be in it for a little bit. Nick, you can't.

There's not really a script or a story. It's just sort of, everyone riffing. I love my jud. You're having fun. Mr. Apatow, as I call him. Right. You know, he said he'd be on this show. Did he?

Yeah. What does Judd want to cover? I don't know. Well, he better bring his Judd Appetite. I just got a text. Yeah. He doesn't want to come on the show anymore. That's fair.

I understand. Bob, I told you Odenkirk is down to come too. We never, we, we, we, we, we, we, there's people like, I'll come. I was like, I'll come on the show. Can I tell you what happened with Bob? You did, yeah. And he's like, there's this like great Chinese food restaurant we should do. And I was like, uh, okay.

Like he didn't understand the premise of the show. He didn't know he didn't get the premise of the show. No, this is much stupider than, stupider than what he thinks. Yeah, it's worse. It's not like an actual review show. Do, do, now this, I just want to say, I just, I just want to be clear because you are saying this on the air. This will be.

We're going to edit all this. Okay. Well, it's, I'm saying like, like, if people hear this, they're going to think it's going to be something that happens. It probably won't happen. And they'll, and they'll add these people on social media because that's what always happens. Oh, don't add them.

Well, they're going to. That's what happens. Those, these fans do their maniacs. I got a little drop, you know, you came in hot and I'm kind of like, I'm kind of slow today. Hmm. Today. I don't want to come in hot, baby.

Firing off jokes left and right. I got a drop. We're having fun. Should I play it? Yes, please. Oh, also. Not to Spoon Nation. And here is a little.

We don't have another four minutes of that. I allowed it to be played because it's good. Well, I might have to send Emma a copy of that file so she can just play it by Jeff Oakley. Please play this rock and drop at tonight's live show. This was for the Hollywood show. Jesus. Peace and love. Drop master Jeff Oakley.

Jeff. We played it. We didn't play that. Not at the live show. And he said, all in good fun. You song rules. Oh, that's fun. Did you, now did you, did you hear this one before the Hollywood live show and choose

not to play it? No. So he sent it in before then you're just now getting to it. Yeah. Like a month after that. More than a month after. Do you read every drop before they come in? Do I what?

You don't read every drop as they. I mean, I'm sorry. Insults. Mitch insult. I read them all. That's bullshit. I read them all. Look at you fucking your smirk.

People can't see you. I process every single individual insult that's sent in there. I read them all and I enjoy. I have a great time. Oh, P.S. Hear the lyrics in case you want them. Should I tell you? Yes.

He's only seen 20 movies. His name is you song. We send them to the story. Always gets it wrong. We tell him to get a few flavors. Just make it a surprise. But green tea is a is all this fucker ever buys. I don't have to do the music.

I guess. Yeah. Grab the mashup. Brew it up. You're fucking fired. So pack it up. You song loves green tea and sometimes red bean you song loves green tea. Yeah.

He ruins everything. It's inside every food he eats from his ice cream to his meat. Yeah. So here's the thing. It wasn't like it was hard to parse what was being said in the song. We got it. I don't think you need to recite all the lyrics. Then why the hell did you tell me to read the lyrics?

You fucking freak. I don't know. You wanted to do it. I didn't know you were going to read all of them. I read all of them. Yes. I was going to read all the lyrics. Oh, well.

I just think I feel like we just heard the song twice just once with a. Hold for edit then again. It's fine. Fucking. The song is pour some sugar on me. I'm surprised it wasn't like pour some matcha on me. Like a little simpler like find and replace your first of all these people give you Mitch insults that suck and you're coming after my guy who did a drop a bad ass drop.

He actually recorded something either like he went and puts a went to the studio and got it through through down some vocals. It was impressive. Seagulls. What did today? What was today's insert? Last action Euro. Yeah.

What the fuck does that even mean? Like hero but not year. But you're a Euro. Yeah. What does that mean? It's it's a thing. There's a thing that exists and an element of it has been replaced with a food thing because you're a man with a legendary appetite.

First of all, no, you also you love Mediterranean food. I do like Mediterranean food. Why am the last action? How about no action Euro? No way. So well then people don't know what it lines up to. I mean, you could say the no action hero and be like a guy who doesn't fuck the no action Euro.

Then people are like, wait, what's is that? What's that a riff on? It's like you changed. It's about the no action Euro makes sense. I think I think people would have difficulty parsing it. Oh God, this is over. It's just over. Well, I guess has been sitting here this whole time feeling we should do the rest of

the show for his sake. All right, fine. He's a writer instead of comedian from Deezus and Mero and last week tonight with John Oliver, his new album Dancing on a Weeknight is available right now. Josh Gondelman. Hi, Josh. Hey, thank you for having me on the final dough boys. They're all they're always the final dough boys until we get home and realize we rely

on it financially. It's very sad. It's like the end of gone girl. It's like, yeah, they're only suited for one another. No, Josh, we, you know, things got a little heated in here up top. Mitch and I were going out a little bit. You are a man who I I think are as as a as a reputation being notoriously nice, a very, very pleasant man.

We certainly had a great time in your company today. Oh, thank you. I had a great time having lunch with you guys. How do you like if you're in a tense situation, if you're in something where some some insults are being thrown around or there's some some arguing is is taking place, like how is your perspective on it? What the fuck is this question? What is this?

How do you approach? How do you approach a conflict as someone who is such a predilection for being pleasant? I deeply avoidant. I avoided it at all costs. So yeah, I try not to stay near it. I almost saw a fight on the subway the other day. And I I was a safe distance away, but it felt like they were about to fight me. Wow.

You know, it was very I mean, they weren't. But that's just how uncomfortable I am with people expressing open displeasure. It's why I had to leave Massachusetts. It was just everybody was too forthcoming with their feelings of rage. Right. So I moved to New York City, where at least it's it's a lot of apathy. I was going to say, I thought I thought New York City would be bad, too. I think Boston is meaner, though.

New New York cares less. Like you could you're more likely to just die of emotional frostbite. But in New England, like I the way I always think about it is like in Boston, someone would yell from across the street, like nice hat, idiot. I wouldn't even see you there. That is true. But also that is funny. It's very funny.

It's so funny. Everyone's so mean and it makes me laugh so much. That's like a Simpsons joke for someone to be like across the street, like nice hat, idiot. Like that's funny. It's like an entire Boston's entire city full of full grown Nelson months. Ah, Massachusetts is what it is. I love Montes, Jesus.

Have you ever got you guys ever gotten a been on the receiving end of an insult from the street? Oh, yeah. Yes. Have you just a common thing? And it's happened to me a couple of times, but this is a common thing to you in in Boston, I guess. Someone just I was mortified walking around and think I was going to get made fun of it all the time. Oh, wow.

I can't remember any specifics, but like I just feel like I've been yelled at so much in my life. Right. Yeah. Right. And yeah, I would get a and I know this is it's it's a different I'm not just different phenomenon on what what happens with with women. But I think like in terms of like getting like yelled at and just someone making fun of you,

the two things that stand out for me as a man is one time I was wearing orange pants and this dude yells out, hey, man, turn down the volume on those pants. Fuck, I can't recover. That's unrecoverable. I mean, he's that guy is probably right. Yeah, it's funny, too. And then the I also got when I used to run,

I used to have longer hair. I'd get a haircut hippie, which I thought was like, oh, that's kind of from another time. Yeah, I got to get a haircut hippie. You you were running partners with Forest. You guys were on your way across America. Man, I wish. Yeah, I feel like, hmm, I don't know.

I feel like I've been made fun of so much that, like, even if someone was like, hey, like, hi, handsome. I take it as an insult. Yeah, you'd be like, what the fuck? Did you just say you're talking about? Yeah, like, yeah, no, they can be pretty ruthless. And I do feel like they have a tough exterior. And then a lot of the times they have, they have a nice,

you know, a sweet, their sweetheart. Yeah, that's true. I don't think it's bad people. I just think it's like very not very comfortable expressing joy unless it's like Red Sox related and very comfortable expressing joy also when it's red, sorry, expressing rage when it's Red Sox related or otherwise. And there are some just true assholes. Oh, sure, sure, Nick.

Yes. Speaking of no good folks. Yes, my house was nearly broken into. You all you almost got burgled. I almost got burgled. There was an attempted burgle on my house. Yeah. Oh, no. I was almost burgled. You were you here?

I was. I was here. I was I was here. Nick is making a face already. I'm not making a face. No, I want I want to hear you. I've I've seen I've gotten the text version of this story, but I want to hear this this in person in IRL. I was sitting here.

I came back from some Easter festivities Taco Bell. Not Taco Bell. Did you go to church? No, I didn't go to church. I hung with Armin a little bit. Do you guys hunt for Easter eggs? Yeah, we hunt for Easter eggs together. Just two adult men doing an Easter hunt.

And we're hiding them for each other. That's so tender that we didn't hide them. We were just hunting for Easter eggs. Trying to find them anywhere we could. But I can't other kids. Yeah, we got we got a lot. We we we we wandered on to other people and to other people's property.

I was a little bit nerd. We and there was a I came home with my bounty of eggs. And I sat down on the couch here. Nick was around six six ish and I I had on Game of Thrones, but I paused it. I paused it to watch a YouTube video of Mortal Kombat 11. Interesting decision. And so I was watching this video and also in the screen door

to my house opens up right and it stays open for a second. I'm like, hmm, it's screen doors open to someone like delivering a package, but it's Easter. It's strange. Yeah, so wait for a second. Wally Wally growled Wally growled and then ran into the other room. And I was like, that's weird. Wally doesn't usually he doesn't usually growl.

And quick little growl. And he ran off to be clear. He wasn't growling at the in game footage of Jack sprawling with Katana. That's that's cat for let them fight. He was not growling at M.K. 11. Got it. He was growling because he wanted you to put Game of Thrones back on. He wanted to watch Game of Thrones. Meow, I need closure on Arya's storyline.

He's rooting for all the wolves to die. I forgot the name of the wolves. Oh, the dire. The dire wolves. I couldn't come up with one of them was called ghost ghost lady. Lady gets lady gets whacked early. Yeah, he gets whacked. Wacked in season one.

Really? That's fucked up. Man, the show used to be you. Nick and I are the mind that the show is not good anymore. Yeah, Nick isn't even watching this. I'm not watching this season. You're just watching you weird. I don't know.

I think I may be watching every season except for this one. Yeah, I think I'm just going to walk away. Oh, that's so frustrating. Even if you don't like it, please just watch it. We'll see. Oh, I hate you. I might just read all the spoilers. I feel I feel such a compulsion to finish things even when I don't like them,

whether they're like TV shows, sandwiches, like whatever it is. I'll just see it through to the bitter end. So I like in one hand I like I don't understand how you're doing this. But another I just like admire it. Like I imagine you could just like walk away from a car crash. Yeah. Yes, he's a psychopath. He's insane.

This is just a sign of you being insane. You're on the last there's six episodes left. I'll maybe watch it. I might I might just read the spoilers. God, anyway, the doorknob starts to jiggle. And I'm like, what the hell? The doorknob started to jiggle. I get up and then the door closes.

The outside door closes. I get up and I went over to the door and I see a guy walking away around the corner away from my house. Did you know? Let me ask you a question. Did you pause the MK 11 trailer or I just threw it? I threw it down. Oh, you just threw it down.

Did you leave it on for the sounds like in home alone? People are fucking lethal in here. The guy maybe thought Jacks was in my house and fucking took off. This is Jacks' house. He's having a party with Liu Kang and Kano and Michael Jordan. I followed him. So he started he started he started to run a little bit. Yeah.

And I was like, hey, and I kind of went outside. I was in my socks and was like, hey, man, what's what's happening? You know, like what's what's going on there? This is the this is the the the tempted burglar. You see you you open the door and he's out there and you're chasing after him. I'm out there and he started to run. Yeah. So I came back inside and I was like, I should probably do the dumb thing

here and pursue this person. I put my shoes on and I and also I left the door open with with Irma. She walked right up to the door. I could have the damn cat could have got out. What a yes disaster when you left the door open. I left the door besides the screen door. I know I know what there was a guy trying to get in. No, I get it and so I I followed this guy for like a like three blocks.

Wow. And when I told Nick this story, the first thing he said is that it was set up by my trainer to get me to exercise. I was trying you piece of shit. I was okay. It wasn't even are you okay? This is in the moment. This is like an hour from when this happened because maybe immediately

unsympathetic, but I was trying to lighten the mood. That was the kind of guy who walks away from Game of Thrones. I was trying to lighten the mood. So I follow this guy. I know I'm glad you're okay. I'm glad it was it was foiled. I follow this guy and everyone immediately told me. I don't know if there's a Boston in me.

That was like, I got to follow this. Yeah, but my mom and sister are like, you idiot. Like, what were you? Why would you follow the guy? What would you do if you caught him? Yeah, also, aren't your mom and sister from Boston? It's not the Boston in you. No, but then when it's when the Boston dichotomy, the gender

essentialism of Boston is a woman cries when her relative gets murdered after pursuing a criminal. And then Casey Afex, like, I should have stopped it. I could have done something. Those are the Boston genders that I. The Micas would have been saying that for me if I got sliced. Yeah, but I followed him on foot and I went down the street here, the one a block south of me.

Yes. And I was following him and then he turned around and he saw me again. He started to run again and then I followed him south. Are you now you're are you just walking? Yeah, you're just like fucking Anton Jaguar. I was I was doing like a fast paced walk and I called 9-1-1. You were doing like a T-1000. I was doing T-1000 and I called rules.

I called really good. Yeah, I called 9-1-1. And I was like, well, I don't know about a T-1000 T-7 and I and I called 9-1-1. I was like, hey, I'm following this guy. Yeah, and I was like, don't they did. That's the first thing they said. They were like, hey, he could be dangerous. You shouldn't do that.

And I was like, I like, I have him in my like eyesight, like, because they're like, we can set in a like a unit to come in. You can give a description, right? And I was like, no, I like, like, I don't I didn't really see his face. And I don't know what he really looks like. But I'm like in eyesight of this guy. I see his back of his coat. I knew I'm like still tailing him.

And she's like, I'll put you through to a unit. She puts me through to a unit. Nick, seven minutes on the phone and no one answered. It was just busy, busy on the phone for seven minutes. That's insane. I didn't realize that that's how it how things went with 9-1-1. And then yeah, I mean, there's obviously other emergencies that are way worse than the man who's following this person who jiggled his door.

Right. I think that might have been. Yeah, the all units. This guy sees a guy. He's a nice side of a guy. There's a guy that he sees. So so he so that I I lost him on Hollywood Boulevard and I just hung up the phone because I was still on the phone with 9-1-1 came back, watched Game of

Thrones and then was scared all night. Yeah. Did you finish that MK 11 trailer today? I did actually a few days later. You put it on hold. I put it on hold. I finished it today. What did you think it was about Jax?

You would go back in time and change the future. Wow. It was cool. I've heard there's like some we don't have to get into it. I was going to say there's something I've read on the subreddits that the MK 11 has some issues with unlocking stuff. It seems like they're trying to set their paywall in it a little bit. It's kind of that model where you really have to grind to unlock things.

Yeah. What is that called? The the the I mean, they sometimes call it a pay to win. Pay to play or whatever. Yeah, but they think like it's I don't know why I brought this up. There's a completely uninteresting tangent. I shouldn't have said anything. That's what the boys all about.

Anyways, well, you've invited the right guest. Anyways, he got away. Everything is OK. Wallion Ermer OK. Wallion Ermer OK. The Dave Thomas Cup is OK. I think he was after the Dave Thomas Cup. Wow.

But I want to just tell you it's the Dave Thomas Crown Affair. I apologize. That was great. That's maybe the best joke that's ever been told on this podcast. We don't we don't allow actual jokes on this show. I told here's the issue with me is that everyone I told it was like the boy who cries wolf, but I'm not the one who's ever cried. Like they were like, are you sure it's not like a Mitch live bit?

I'm like, no, it's it wasn't and they're like, are you sure it wasn't like a Doughboys fan? Like, oh, it's probably just a Doughboys fan. First of all, that's insane. Anyways, if it's a Doughboys fan and second of all, there's no such thing as a Doughboys fan and quotations. I don't know. I can't imagine you guys not being murdered by a fan.

Yeah, I guess. I guess if you murdered each other, right, I yeah, I still didn't understand your boy who cries. You're saying because people are thinking that you're because because the boy who cries wolf is like lying. He's like fibbing. I know, but I'm saying I'm saying it's it's like the boy who cries wolf who told the truth.

Like it's other factors around me that like people are alike. I still don't understand. Oh, God, who gives a shit? I think you did a better like compare point of comparison. No, I don't have one. I don't you're out. You're not going to try. It's like who I'm out of it.

I don't care. I you said the way you said it to me was something like it's like the boy who cried wolf, but I'm not the one who cried wolf, right? Yes, I which I still don't understand. Just shut up. That's that's you get like my boy who I understand what you mean. Yeah, but it's I also understand what you mean, but I I think you being like I refuse to change it.

I think that's the right move here, even if you're wrong. I feel like don't doubt from this. I appreciate that. Yeah, I don't think we're going to get it better than that. I don't think so either. People get what you meant, so so I want to talk a little bit about about as as someone who says who grew up that you have no wrap up like be safe, Mitch, or something.

I said, I'm glad Wally and Irma are OK and you're OK. I'm glad everything's OK. I think it was you. I won't be behind that. Why would I try to break it? You know what happened? If I caught up to that guy, give him fucking your address. I'm going to drive across town.

He's not going to hop on the Expo line. You're going to give him a ride, a burglar, a ride, not to the police station, but to my domicile and also a burgle away, my friend, and I'll point him in the direction of your house to go in there and scare my wife and also I'll give Natalie heads up. She's not going to stand for that. You're going to a stranger come in and mess with all her stuff. This plan has some holes in it and you like, legendarily don't have people

over, so this would be a big, big if you're doing what I think you're doing in there. He's never going to burgle anyone again. Let's talk about Boston a little bit. Yeah, baby. So Emma, Emma just lit up, too. So Josh, you did. Wait, you grew up there.

You grew up around Boston. I grew up around Boston. I grew up in Stonem, Massachusetts. And where is Stonem in relation to Quincy? So Stonem is like north of the city and like South Shore, right? Yeah, Quincy, Quincy is, yeah, like next to Dorchester and Milton and Braintree and, I don't know. Yeah, got it.

Places, yeah. So, OK, so what is the one chain that was mentioned to me? And I don't know if this is something that you would rank in among your guys' favorites, but it certainly was something local that pertains to today's episode. DeAngelo's. What is DeAngelo's about? Love it, DeAngelo's. It's a sandwich chain.

OK, really good. I mean, I it's like my it's the sandwich chain that I grew up with other than Subway, so I have an affection for it just because I'm like, oh, that's what a sub sandwich that you buy tastes like, right? You know, that's like the definition for me. I do think that it is genuinely better. I mean, that's not a hard feat to be better than Subway. Definitely better than Subway, for sure.

It is, it is, it's so crazy to me that they've been closing a bunch of them. It merged with Puppageno's. It's the Puppageno's is also until I moved to New York, I didn't realize that was regional, so I'd be like, oh, is there like a Puppageno's around here? And people would be like, what fucking old Italian man are you looking for? You idiot. Puppageno's is a pizza chain. But it merged with the Angelo's.

Yeah, it's like Pizza Hut Taco Bell. Oh, got it. OK, and Puppageno's is also good. Yeah, it's good for like a chain, like a like a chain pizza. It's better, but I love Domino's, so I shouldn't say it's better than Domino's, but it is better than Domino's. I think it's better than Domino's. It kind of other Domino's.

Yeah, if you've got a good Puppageno's pizza, it can be it can be pretty tasty. Yeah. The Angelo's is great, though. Yeah, like it just is. It's a good quality. Right. You can do it. I was talking about how you can do a Greek salad with a little pita.

Oh, sorry. No, you go. I was going to say, my favorite is the toasted Thanksgiving sandwich they have year round. So it's like, you know, turkey and cranberry and gravy and stuffing and stuff. It's terrific. It's also delightful. Yeah, a gobbler, Nick, an old gobbler sandwich.

Thanksgiving slash gobbler sandwich. Do you, Mitch, when you order the gobbler, do you say, one me, please? Oh, because I'm a gobbler. You're something of a gobbler. Oh, God. Geangelo's is fun. My mom used to call it dingledangles. It's a fun.

Oh, that's cute. It's fun. It's a fun mom. I like that. They do a lobster roll in the summer. I do. They certainly do. Is it now?

Is it good? Because I would never order it. Like if there are some places that have like lobster rolls. Yeah, McDonald's does it. Yeah. And I would like, I will never have that. No, the McDonald's in the Northeast, because they have the McDonald's lobster roll used to be used to be specific to it was.

It was specific to New England. They used to be like a localized thing with McDonald's. It wasn't like in the middle of the country at one point in time. But the McDonald's lobster roll you're saying is good. It was supposedly supposed to be really good. I've never had, I think I maybe had one, but I don't know. It comes back for it. Yeah.

D'Angelo's is like, it's good for what it is. And it's like cheaper than a regular lobster roll. It's, you know, that you get at a real clam shack or whatever. It's not bad. It gets the, it's like lobster roll methadone. Right. Yeah. Right.

I think, I think, I think it's, I think it's good enough. But they have great steak and cheeses. Like they have like a nice, they have nice bread at D'Angelo's like a French bread that's, it's, it is just like steak comes but they just do a good job with it. Have you had the steak and cheese there, Emma? No. Oh, you gotta, you gotta, I'll do that next time I'm home.

Are you a D'Angelo, what's your D'Angelo's order? I always, I'm an Italian sub girl through and through. That's always what I get. Oh yeah. It's one of my faves. But you liked it. You are a fan of D'Angelo's. Yeah.

I always preferred that over Subway. So I vouch for that. It's weird to me that a chain like that just has issue. I don't get it. I don't know why Subway is just cause Subway is convenient or something. I don't know. Well, I think it's a mass distribution thing. Right.

Yeah. Subway, they can, they really scaled up. I mean, it's, I think it's the biggest chain in the world. I think that's true. It's so, it overtook McDonald's at some point and they just have so many locations and it's just, it's hard to control quality. Subway is, we're going to go back to Subway cause Subway is wack in many ways. Subway sucks.

Subway does suck. I feel like you, cause you were like, like, it's better than Subway. That's not saying much. I'm like, what's worse than Subway in terms of a sandwich chain? Is there, it's the worst of them, right? Is there a worse one? Well, now I'm thinking of all the sandwich chains and I'm like, D'Angelo's might be my favorite of all of them.

It's really good. Yeah. Of like, of like the, well, I guess like Jersey Mike's is decent. Jersey Mike's is good that my wife is a Jersey Mike's partisan. She's from New Jersey. So she's, she like, whenever we're out here and she sees a Jersey Mike's, she feels like personal, like we made it. I like, I like Jersey Mike's.

I've had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun when we reviewed it. That's a place I'll go to sometimes just not for the podcast. I'm trying to get a sense of how many locations there are of D'Angelo's. Okay, they don't just have a quick list. There's, there's, there's less of them now than there were to. But Massachusetts would be the biggest state, right? I think so.

Oh, okay. Oh boy, there's, there's dozens. I would say there are dozens of locations. Okay. So this is a, this is a pretty substantial size chain. We should review it sometime. We should, when we go to Boston, baby, that should be a place. We should, we should check out what else beyond, beyond D'Angelo's.

What other, what other chains do you think of when you think of the, the city of Boston? I think, uh, Ana's, Takaria is like kind of a local favorite for a chain. It's Mexican food. Okay. Um, and I, I really, you're not, you know, yeah. I love Ana's. Yeah. Ana's is so good.

Um, it's, I only had Ana's, I've only had it a few times in my life. Oh really? Yeah. That was like where, like when my friends started driving that it was like far enough that it was like, we're driving to Ana's. Like we wouldn't ask our parents to take us there because it's too far, but we're doing it. I have like a lot of affection for it as just like a place in my life, but also that is one of the places when I go home, like my sister will pick me up at the train

station and we'll go pick up Ana's and bring it to my parents. Oh, that's rad. Yeah, it's really good. Um, and then the other most, yep. Regina pizza, of course. Regina pizzeria, uh, Mitch, Mitch is wearing a Regina pizzeria T-shirt. He went to a phone booth and then took off his, Regina pizzeria is great. Um, and then the, but the other prominent one that like jumps out is like legal seafood.

Yeah. Oh, and you know what? They're, they're like a bunch of ice cream chains that are regional, that are kind of like premium New England ice cream chains, like a JP Licks. And, um, gosh, what else? Oh yeah, JP Licks. JP Licks is real good. Um, but you have licks, like a, like you're licking something.

Yeah. Like a cone. Yes. Oh, got it. Okay. Yeah. Not just like a pervert who owns an ice cream shop. Like he licks you and then you get a discount on your ice cream and Nick and a

plane to get ready to go to Boston immediately. Where do you lick and does it affect the discount? Who's JP? I want to speak with JP right now. JP for Jamaica Plane. I think it is. Oh yeah. I think it is.

Yeah. It's not, you know, he's related to JD power. One went into their restaurant business. One of them went into evaluating cars. Jenny power does. Yeah. I think so. A consumer goods.

He's got the, uh, the Wetzel guy. I was like, I thought that was like a guy for a time. And then I realized, oh wait, no, that was, that was like reverse engineered from pretzels. They were like, what rhymes with pretzels? We'll say Wetzel's pretzels. But like, okay. I, that's, I would believe it was a guy. It was like, it sucks.

Yeah, it does suck. Yeah. His life's calling was like, oh, my last name rhymes with pretzels. I'm going to be the pretzels guy. Maybe people called him Wetzel pretzel growing up or something like that. Yeah, I would buy that. Totally. But it's not, no, it's just like, that's Johnson's pretzels.

Isn't going to move pretzels. Exactly. And he's got this whole corner taken care of. I'm going to eat his pretzels. That would go out of business. Yeah, it sounds wack. Um, I was a big Brigham's fan. Oh, rest in peace, Brigham's.

I know. Brigham's is like, this is like deep Massachusetts shit right now. I love Brigham's. My dad still gives directions from like where the Brigham's used to be. It's like an ice cream. They had some of them were like, almost soda shop locations, right? Like it was, you could, you could go in and get a burger and stuff. But it's like ice cream.

I think they still, I think Hood bought out the name. Hood bought, Hood bought Brigham's and distributes the ice cream, but there's no like brick and mortar locations anymore. They, yeah, they, they have another ice cream brand. Yeah. Okay. Oh, it's a, it's a milk. Hood milk.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Hoodsees is so local too. The, um, that's like a classic. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is bringing back some memories. Right.

This is good. It's the half and half vanilla chocolate, like ice cream cups that you get for like a kid's birthday party. Oh yeah. Yeah. But they used a little flap to eat the damn thing. Yep. And hood.

I like those. Hood like ran that shit. And you couldn't get another brand that come to your house. They'd waterboard you with ice cream. This is, this, I feel like I'm like taking in morphine right now. It feels, I feel great. Just hearing all this stuff, Nick. Wave of nostalgia.

Just, just feels fucking good. Oh, I love it. I'll talk about Massachusetts foods of my childhood indefinitely. Do you want to hear the, the Brigham song? Sure. I don't know the Brigham song. I'll, I'll do it for you right now. Okay.

Bring them, bring them, bring them, bring them home some Brigham's. That was good. I'm sure, I'm sure we'll hear that in a two and a half minute long drop next week. Your response was, that was good. As if someone had made a complaint that it wasn't good. I liked it. I think that was implied. The, the New England jingle that sticks in my head the most and we'll never

leave is water country. Oh yeah. Water country. Cause you're from New Hampshire. That's like, my mom's office can, you can see the slides from water country. No. It's building, yeah, you can see them. That's like, that's like a torture.

Yeah. You can't go over, you can't be having fun at water. country. You're stuck in the office. This song, this song is your national anthem. I hear it in my sleep. What are you going to say next? I'm going to say, maybe you got an angle on some hunk going down the slide.

More likely like kids peeing on a slide. Yeah, that's true too. Well, Nick is also interested in that. I come on, but it was, it was huge. You like people, is that with the P and JP Wicks is for? Are you junior P? I want to lap it up. Let them pee on the slide.

It makes it go faster. You're saying water country. Water country. I like, but you know what? Water country to me was just always like, I'm going to go there for the day and I'm going to get a sunburn. Yeah. I feel like it wasn't worth driving all the way up from Quincy to go to water country.

Like we lived 30 minutes from there, 20, 30 minutes. So like that made more sense. And it was so cool if you got a season pass to water country, but I wouldn't. It's not like six flags where I drive an hour or two to get there. Yeah. Well, we did, we did, we did. Canobie Lake Park was the love. Canobie Lake Park is more worth the drive.

I, um, is that what that's another water park? That's more amusement park. Okay. Sorry. It's like a New England regional six flags. Got it. There was a Turkish twist where you stand against the wall and the floor goes down and you're stuck.

I hate that. And then it's like people puking. It's disgusting. Maybe you're so sick when I know that. And my middle school graduation, uh, we got, we used to go to Canobie Lake Park. My middle school used to go every year until the year my class went because one kid would, he would put up his arm, like force it up and then let the gravity pull it back. And he would hit the kid next to him on the stomach.

And it was my buddy Sam and he was like, you go to stop. I'm going to puke. And then he puked on him on the ride. That rules. That's good. Come back. Yeah. He was right.

He was, he called the shot. That's amazing. He was, and then he become like, and then like after that, you're like, if any of you fuck with me, I'll like, I'll fucking puke on you too. And then that becomes your thing. Yeah. Right. I mean, I think there's also a way that goes poorly for that kid.

Yeah. Either the reputation is a puker. Yeah. I guess that is a bad rep. Left in middle school, man. Clean break. Showed up in high schools like I'm a different guy now. I hate, I hate puke now.

I hate puke. I mentioned this before, but there was a kid that I went to, I think, wait, I'm trying to remember it was elementary school to middle school. I think it was middle school to high school, but there was this kid named Matt. And he was just kind of like, whatever, he's a nice enough kid, but he just kind of like had, you know, whatever, not like a kid who had anything particularly going for him. He was one of those kids that was a fucking loser. Yeah.

This elementary school kid wasn't having sex. He never invented anything. He was, he was like an extra. You know what I mean? It's just like, oh, that's just like a kid who's here. Anyway, so like, like he went to a different school. And a few years later, I ran into a kid who I'd gone to the same school with earlier and then he was now at school with Matt, this, this other, this other school.

And I was like, anyway, what's Matt up to? And he's like, oh my God, Matt's so popular. He's Matt the tool man. And what he done. Did you go to high school with 40 year old Matt? Matt had the, at the time, a home improvement was very popular and he adopted the person, in the same way that kid would act like Jim Carrey from Ace Ventura. He'd adopted the persona of Tim Taylor from home improvement.

And he was like, and talking about Binford and stuff. And he was, he'd become this like huge, like beloved figure. That's a horrible. And it's pretty good for Matt. I was happy for him. I'm glad for Matt's happiness. But what a horrible way to get it. What cost?

So crazy. So nuts. I like it. That worked. He remade his image. People loved it. Were the people in that high school not aware of home improvement? They thought he'd invented it.

They just got an ABC ripped off your act. What? It was this high school and he was, and it worked. I'm thinking about it. Must have been an elementary school to middle school. That must have been it. Because when it middle school to high school wouldn't have quite worked out. I could see like an 11 year old getting over on that, but like you're 15.

You're like, yeah, we know people who are like getting hand jobs and stuff, dude. You're just acting like an old man. Or maybe that was working for me. You'd reference a Binford power drill and you get some dome. There's a lot of withering insults thrown about on this podcast, but I don't think we can overlook how brutal it is that you casually describe this human man as an extra. Like this guy's like an extra. Like nobody cared about him or noticed him.

Just like so cold. Right. I really like it. But man, I want to give you credit for how mean that was extra. That's like so many. So many people in this town do that work right and maybe listen to this podcast. I don't mean that as a pejorative. I think it's a fine job.

It's a fine job. There's no nothing wrong with extra work, but when you're the extra in your own life, just come into home, people walking by you to the refrigerator, just you're constantly being Bruce Willis from the sixth sense. Just mumbling. You can't even say words because that ups your rate. I got I got a bloody nose in the mirror maze at a can to be like park. Now what happened exactly?

I fucking walked right into a fucking. Oh yeah, that's how that story goes. It was it was it was like a terrible man where I was like like this sucks. And then like from there on out, I like was just putting my hand forward. It wasn't that bad. Smudges all over the mirror, bloody smudges. Mitchell been in here again after you left to be game the haunted house. Well, also I was in a ride on can to be like park with my friend Anthony to foe

and it was like a ferris wheel where you could spin the like the actual. You know what I'm saying? Yes, it was like a unit. I fucking fell out of this harness Jesus. This is a can to be like park. Oh wait. It was Riverside. Oh sure is shittier.

It makes more. It was Riverside and I think the haunted maze might have been Riverside too. Okay, because I think they happened at the same place, but it was like shitty. Like I would I fucking dropped out of the thing and we were like we would go by the the the carney on is that can I call them carneys? I was writing that I wrote. I use the word carney and I have a book coming out and I use the word carney

and then like to cover my ass. I just wrote as a footnote. Do we still say carney like that helps in a book like you wrote it down. Idiot. Well, it sounds like a slur, but it's not like absolutely. It's not like carnival workers are a protected class. No, that's just like nor are they like particularly oppressed or marginalized. Right.

Yeah, yeah. They get to run all the rides. What's cool even that they get to run all the rackets. So the milk bottle toss is fucking rigged. Yeah, Jesus. All right. So this fucking carney we go by them and the milk bottle toss. So you do you just want those those big bottles of milk, Nick?

Is that what your is that what you? Is that what you're aiming for? Is that the prize you want? We would go by the carney and me and my friend Anthony were in this this this Ferris wheel thing and we were like help and we were like be going by him and like yelling help each time we went by him and he never stopped the ride. Kids yell help all the time. The kids who cried carney and I and from like stories I've heard now

there's so many crazy. What's that? There's like that Jersey water park that was like yeah and say oh wait. No, that's not the one that eventually decapitated the. No, I think that one was in Kentucky. Yeah, I could not. It's also maybe I can tell people about this. They promise a lot of people probably don't know about this.

It's a real bummer of a story. It came up at work the other day and we were all like, yeah, I guess we're not going to make comedy for a little while. Well, luckily we never have that issue with the. But they're like there are a lot of dangerous theme parks out there. Yeah, there really are. Yeah, they so the the mere thing you did you walk into your own reflection. No, there was a clear panels as well.

Oh, I got it. Yeah, I fucking hurt. I was going to say because that's like a thing a test they do on animals to like. Like they see like a turtle will think it's a different turtle. Yes, I walk into fucking mirrors all the time. It's bossy. He tried to fight his reflection. You didn't walk into it the fuck you looking at.

Don't do it. It's not worth it. You know what I just thought of though? If a Dracula was falling, you bring him into a mirror maze. Oh, that's a great idea. He fucking bump in his face. Oh, man, that's a great idea for a set piece. Has it not been in the Dracula movie?

It hasn't been in the Dracula movie. Oh my God, bitch, you got to edit this out. That's solid gold. No, we'll keep it in and people will know it's my idea. Okay, if you see that in like if that's like in Hotel Transylvania III or something that came from the brain of Mitchell. Or Hotel California one if they ever make a movie out of that song. You know what I said the other day too?

Tell me what you think it's food related. Yes, okay. I did. I said this on Jack's Twitch channel, but Parmesan cheese mixed with red chili flake peppers, the chili. The yeah, what you put on a pizza. You make some prefab. It comes premixed.

I like that idea. That's a great idea. That's really good. That's a winner. That guy who burgled me was probably trying to probably burgle me of my ideas. He's going to hold you at gunpoint and just ideate. You're my imagineer right now.

I'm burgling you ideate. It would be so hard not to laugh at that weird burglar. I know he's saying ideate is a verb and burglars. Really just say this is a robbery and classic burglar talk. Yeah, the mix of what do you think? I like the idea. I think it's good. People were like, it will clump up too much.

I said, haha. Okay. Big mouthed opening. There you go. Problem solved. Yeah. I think the only problem is. Nope.

And I don't think this is a deal breaker. Is the ratio of Parmesan pepper flake is different. So you'd have to sell it in different like, like you would sell different heats of hot sauce, right? Just different ratios of cheese to flake. Yeah. Different intensities. Oh, that's good.

I like it. Yeah. That's a good that's a good plan. They also said like someone was like, Oh, but the cheese would go bad before. I'm like, yeah, but Parmesan cheese goes bad. Anyways, you'd still who care. You know what I mean?

Like how Parmesan cheese goes bad so slowly. Yeah, exactly. It takes forever to go bad. This is look. I can't believe it's not a thing yet. I think it will be. I think I think. Do you think I'm fucking up right now?

Can I trademark this right now? Yeah, just say just say TM. TM. You got to mail this podcast to yourself. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Doe Boys. Welcome back to Doe Boys. We're here with Josh Gondelman talking

Witch Witch this week. Now, Witch Witch was founded in Dallas in 2003. It's a fairly new comer on the chain restaurant scene. Over 400 locations as it stands. And I think probably the thing that is most distinct about them specifically is they have an ordering system which involves paper bags that you fill out with a marker,

which I found a little daunting. Luckily, I got a tutorial. Josh, Mitch, have you guys been to Witch Witch before? I've had it. But I've only had it in a catering context. I've actually been into a Witch Witch prior to today. I've never been before. Never been.

Yeah, this is my first time. My inaugural voyage. Mitch? I have had it delivered before. Right. But I don't think I've ever been inside one before. Yeah, so we were there. And Josh, you had a description of what the interior was like.

You compared it to something. It's kind of like, maybe that was you, Mitch. I think it was me. Yeah, I think it was you. Yeah. It was like, because it has. I said it was like a hospital. It does, because it has a lot of stainless steel and stuff.

It feels like kind of, yeah, it does feel very hospital. A certain part of a hospital, I guess. But it feels very sterile. Right. And very clean. It feels clean. It did seem super clean in there. On a section of a Hollywood Boulevard that used to be a little,

that used to be a little bit dicey, a little bit, kind of not the best part of town. It's mid-gentrification, right? It is mid-gentrification, which also not a great thing, but it is what it is. And this section is very much new storefronts. Right. And next door, Nick, there was the Farmer Boys

that we went to in a past episode with Nick. That's right. And that place feels the same way, too. So I don't know if every witch-witch is super clean like that, but this place, you can sense it right when you walk in, which is a good thing. Yeah, it's great. It was a new-ish location.

It was very well maintained. And I will say that we... And by new-ish, too, it's been around for now for a couple years. Right, yeah. And I will say that I feel like as soon as I walked in there, I was there first, then Josh joined me shortly thereafter, then we waited for Mitch. I came in at 2.02 pm.

And I came in at 2.02 pm. Josh and I were having some time to kill because we were waiting for Mitch to arrive. And by the way, I texted you and said, are you going to come to my house? I was waiting for your response. I said no. I said no.

You said no. And I left as soon as you said no. You said no at like 2.0. You said no at like 1.58. There's no way that's true. It's true. I'm afraid of the timestamp. 1.53 pm, I told you.

Nope, I'm already here. And I was... Guess what? I was on my way. Okay. And I got there 2.02. The reason I didn't reply to you coming by here first is that I was on the train. So I'm sorry.

Oh, yeah. You're right. The train where you can't use your hands. I got off the train. Reception is spotty on the red line. And then there is... It goes underground. You should have gotten the text

as soon as you... You should have gotten the text. Yeah, I got in there. I got... You should have gotten that. You weren't paying attention. I walked inside. You were looking at some bullshit about how the Bucks are going to beat the Celtics

or something stupid. I think they are. They're not. The Celtics are going to fucking win in seven games. Well, we're going to find out... By the time this episode releases, we will be in another round of the playoffs. So that will have happened.

Marcus Smart will be really healthy. I was not late today. It was 202 when I walked in there. I know. I wasn't saying you were late, but I'm saying we were there. And we were waiting for you. Bullshit.

I will say this is thrilling to witness up close, guys. This is... What do you... That's the end of the show. Did you think that I was a late man today? No, I would not have said you were late. I didn't think you were... I didn't say you were late.

Nick also didn't say you were late. I said we were just waiting for you. Piece of shit. I was describing what happened, which was as soon as I walked in there, great service. The guy gave me the restroom code. We learned his name is Zool.

Which he brought up that Zool is from a movie. He said... The way he said it was so... Like you could tell... I could almost feel the gratitude that we weren't like, Ghostbusters! Right, right. Because he was like...

Yes, many people have told me it's from a movie. Just like, goes dead behind the eyes. It's just like, oh, that poor dude. People must put so much on him. And he thinking he is like subsuming his culture. He said he was Indian and had a long name that he shortened to Zool for the convenience of other people. And then he's like, every person, every day,

there is no day to only Zool! This poor guy is just trying to make everyone else's life easier. Right. Which I did yell at him when I came in. I don't know what you guys saw. Well, as soon as he said, though, it's from a movie, though, we all in unison said, Ghostbusters!

Wrong! I said, okay. You said Ghostbusters too, yes, which I was wrong about. And I was mad at you. Yeah. And then I realized, oh yeah, wait, that's Vigo. Vigo, the Carpathian girl?

Yeah. Okay. I think I've seen Ghostbusters. I like Ghostbusters too more. But the- Time out. No, you don't. I've seen it more.

I like it a little bit more. You like it more? Yeah. So you like it more? I saw it in theaters and I was very frightened. I was like five. Oh, yeah. My dad was like, oh, Ghostbusters is fun.

Ghostbusters too is substantially like earier, I think. Yeah. It's a little creepier. They're both, look. I love both Ghostbusters movies. Ghostbusters 1 is a better movie. Yeah. I don't know.

I think like 2 better. But I like- We had this conversation with Zul. Slimer does drive the bus. Yeah, that's funny. He does drive the bus. I like that. They're just like, he's their friend now.

But Zul was great. Zul came from behind. This was before you were there, Josh. Zul came from behind the counter because he could tell it was my first time. How early were you, you creep? I told you, 153. He got there when they opened.

He was like, show me how to work these bags, buddy. And he walked me through it. So they basically have a section of prefab sandwiches, which if you want that, you take the brown bag with a prefab sandwich and you just check that. It's interesting that he walked you through it. You're the only person who fucked it up. I only fucked it up a little bit.

I got one of my sandwiches completely right. And then, or if you want to- The easy sandwich where you didn't have to do anything? Yes, I got that one right. And if you build your own, you pick your protein, and then you pick all your options. And again, it's like a brown bag with a bunch of different checkboxes on it,

and you're using a Sharpie to fill it out. And I guess let's get into our sandwiches. So I got the- You know what? Let's take it sandwich by sandwich, because we each ordered some stuff, but we shared pretty much everything. So the first sandwich I got was the Reuben,

which was my mom's dad, his favorite sandwich, a thinly sliced corned beef, Swiss tangy sauerkraut, and Thousand Island Dressing. That does sound like the worst eulogy. It was my mom's father's favorite sandwich. And then he lists the ingredients. Corned beef. He loved the melted cheese.

You know, I'm a huge Reuben family. Me and my college friends used to chant the ingredients to it. That's right. I love a Reuben as well. Yeah, it's a good sandwich. I thought this was pretty good. First of all, I was surprised that they actually had rye there. They actually had, like, toasted rye that they did.

I was really- I was expecting it to be on a sub-roll, but they actually- Yeah, I was gonna say it was good, but you know what I think? What? They should have shipped that thing over to Quiznos to make it toasty.

It was decently toasty. What do you mean? It was fairly toasty. 3M's toasty. It was toasty. It was not toasty enough, is my point. You would have liked a little bit more texture on that bread. Quiznos would have toasted it up a little bit more.

Yeah, but- You sang like that, by the way. I can't see you song from here. I'll trust you. He's sitting on the new couch, which we've discussed in earlier episodes. Mm-hmm. Very exciting.

That's a very- New song, how's that couch feeling? It's great! He loves it. So, I like a Reuben, like my grandfather, Rest in Peace. I like the- So sorry to bring that up also,

by the way, the death of your maternal grandfather. Corned beef, Swiss sauerkraut, thousand island dressing, toasted rye bread. As you would have wanted. I really like a Reuben. It's a, and again, I'm repeating myself, but I think this was a good chain execution of it. I like the Swiss.

I agree that maybe the bread could have been a little bit more, could add a little bit more crunch to it, but I thought the presence of rye was nice. And I think the corned beef was decent quality. I don't know, what did you guys think of this one? The presence of rye sounds like a good novel or something. John Steinbeck's the presence of rye. Follow up to the grapes of rye.

Less feeling, just there. Yeah, right. JD Salinger's like that fucking hack. I'm the rye guy. Steinbeck, you motherfucker. Fuck it. I will cut you, I will cut you with a, throwing a wheat thresher.

How's that for wrath? I liked it. I thought it was, I only had just a bite. I thought it was, it was tasty. I got very worried at the ambition of some of their sandwiches when we walked in. I thought a Reuben was like a little ambitious for a place that's mostly like, no offense to Emma,

but like Italian cold cut subs, you know, just stuff that takes a little less like, they're a few removing parts. And they had a banh mi that I was genuinely, I was like, I, I don't know. It just, I think we have to try that at some point. I almost did just for the sake of like, let's try the most wild thing.

And not that a banh mi is wild. It just feels like if Subway had a banh mi, I'd be like, oh, you can just call it food poisoning. Right, right. It's, it's a difficult sandwich to do well. And yeah, yeah, I don't necessarily trust a, a mainstream American chain to execute it. Nick, yeah.

The Reuben. Tasty, yes. Toasty, new. Mitch is independently sponsored by Quiznos. He's skimming off the top. What have we called this? Quizboys. What, like we're doing quizzes?

Uh, no. Same format. Yeah. Yeah. All right. The, the dough's nose. So yeah, I think the Reuben was, was something of a winner.

We moved on to the, or moving on the Philly cheesesteak. Josh, that was the one you ordered. I have the menu description in front of me. It's steak, caramelized onions, sauteed bell peppers, and provolone on a baguette. What did you think of that bad boy? I thought it was good. I was worried, I was worried that the bread

would be too thick or too toasty. And it was not too much. It wasn't like a bread sandwich with a, with a just light filling of meat and peppers and stuff. It was a, the bread was really good. Yeah. The, the meat and peppers had a nice taste to them and good texture.

I, I thought it was like, it was not a greasy, what is it, pats and genoes, right? Those two places in Philly, like Philly cheesesteak, but it was, it was a good sandwich that, that was tasty in the, so I'm not too off, put off by their claim of Philadelphia. Yeah. When, when, when you would,

if you put it on the D'Angelo scale. I would say not quite as like flavorful, but it was, but it was good in its own right. Yeah. Not quite as flavorful as a D'Angelo's. Yep. I, I 100% agree with that. I thought I don't have D'Angelo's as a point of comparison.

But, we've noticed. You probably just shouldn't, you probably just shouldn't rate it. I'm going to rate it. I will say not at, never having had D'Angelo's, this was better. D'Angelo's gonna have shit on this sandwich. No, I think the, the, the element,

the thing that stood out to me is, is the baguette I thought was really good. I thought it like the toasted baguette. I was like, man, this is better bread than I expect from this place. And it worked really nice. It held up to all those, those wee gooey ingredients inside there.

Mitch, what did you think of that, that Philly cheesesteak? I thought it was okay. Yeah. It was, it was not my, my favorite. Right. Um, I kind of, you know what's funny? Well, I think we have to go back and review Subway again, because I think I would be harder on Subway this summer.

And I think if you know what you're getting at Subway, you can get totally paid off by Quiznos. You're totally like, we got to go back and fucking give Subway fewer for Subway. Don't throw a brick through a Jimmy John's window. I don't like Jimmy John's either. I was saying before this podcast that I think D'Angelo's is, or maybe I didn't even sit it on the air,

that D'Angelo's is maybe my favorite sub shop of all, like the Cheney chain sub, sub shops and Jimmy John's is up there too. But D'Angelo's, I mean, I'm sorry, but Subway is like, if you get a certain thing and you make it your way, you can make it good enough and it's fine. But a thing to never get at Subway, I think is like the steak and cheese sandwiches

or the meatball sandwiches. And I think maybe it's the same thing. I would say the same thing about which, which, but I've had a Buffalo chicken sandwich from which, which, and it was good. But the, the steak and cheese to me was just kind of like a lower quality, like, right? Like the, the, what's it called?

Jersey Mike's steak and cheese blows it, blows it away. Oh, wow. But I think, I think just blows it away. The big, the big, the baguette was nice. Yes. But it just, the flavor just wasn't, the flavor just wasn't there for me. It was like kind of dry, you know.

I could have used it a little greasier on. Sure. Like it's not, it's not a health food choice to begin with. So I would say like grease it up a little bit. Yeah. Like give it a little of that extra flavor. Right. Yeah.

And the Mitch, you also, you got yourself the meatball grinder. Which goes right into this. That's that, this was the worst sandwich of the bunch. This is bad. I agree. This was Italian meatballs, Genoa salami, pepperoni, capicola, marinara, mushrooms, and mozzarella.

I went no mushrooms on it, by the way. And you, you had the mushrooms. This, the meatballs, first of all, were kind of cold. And not even just kind of. Yeah. They were, I, when you said they were kind of cold, I was like, oh, maybe it sat for a minute before. And then I tried it and I said, I can't believe how cold

these meatballs are. Offensively loud. And Zule came over to ask if everything was okay. And I felt like a monster. Yeah. No, it was, they, it was, they maybe just didn't heat them up long enough. They came, they came out cold.

And the meatballs also just didn't taste great. The, the marinara sauce was kind of like odd tasting. I thought like this was just not a fun sandwich. It was not, it was not good. I just like, I usually will be an abundance of meat is usually a plus for me. But here I just like, I didn't think, I don't think the meatballs needed, maybe it did

because the meatballs were so subpar. The meatballs themselves were the, were the worst part of this meatball grinder. But I, I think I maybe get them out of there. But that layer of the, all those Italian cold cuts underneath the, the, the meatballs. And then with the marinara thrown on the top, I just found it overwhelming.

I just found it was just like, it was just too much meat. It was just kind of like this weird meat mush that just like all got, got swirled together in an unpleasant way. Yeah, this thing was a fucking, it was a mess. It was, it was a bummer. This one, this one, this, this was a big loser. And I, I, I came in there saying like,

I think I like which, which I was saying that I was in there. Not, not showing my score for the end, but like, um, this was, this was a big, big first disappointment. Yes. And the steak and cheese, I don't love either. But I also got the Euro, Nick. Yes. This is Euro meat. It's a tzatziki sauce, tomatoes, and onions,

red onions on pita bread. I liked it a lot. It was good. It was a good Euro. It was really good. Yeah. It was like, it was like a half pita. It was, it was quite good. All the different breads were done so well. And we got several different breads over the,

the lunch that the three of us had. And, and so that's really impressive. And it doesn't always jump out at me like, if a bread is bad, I'll be like, oh, this is bad bread. But I rarely am like, oh, this bread is the perfect compliment for this sandwich. And I think the Euro was like another one of those. That's great.

I've been conditioned to expect from this kind of place that they basically, they basically just do the sub kind of sub style role. And like that, like maybe in some different, maybe you can get a wheat one or something. Or spinach wrap. Exactly. Yeah. But, but the, that they had so much variation in the types of bread.

I was impressed by it. And yeah, I think, I agree with you. They executed them all. Yeah. I thought the Euro meat was good. And I, I let the ample amount of tzatziki. I thought it was nice. Huge comeback after that meatball failure. Huge meatball.

And also this is the one that I thought was going to be like, I don't know how this Euro is going to be at this place. This is kind of a weird, a weirder thing to get than a meatball sub at a sub shop. We took, I would say we took four big swings with Reuben, Philly, Cheesecake, Meatball Grinder and Euro. And I, but the Meatball Grinder shouldn't be a big swing. That's going to be a thing that like most sub shops do well.

That's a good point. Yeah. It's a kind of a sub shop staple. And then what I, what the last thing was, was I think probably the least exciting on paper, but I actually liked how it was executed. We got, we did get a spinach wrap, the avocado spinach wrap with provolone. Wanted to try a vegetarian option.

Mayo, spinach, lettuce, jalapenos, I threw some, what the fuck else did I throw in there? Olives? All of it. Yeah. Some black olives in there. And yeah, I thought they, I thought the spinach wrap is like a, it's like a spinach tortilla. You're not wrapping it in spinach leaves,

which wouldn't make sense. The spinach tortilla I think was, you know, like what had a, had a good flavor to it. It held everything together well. They dressed it properly and a lot of provolone. The avocado was nice and, nice and mashed up. What was that sign that it was in there? I think it was, it was something about avocado

being a super food. I took a picture of it. You pointed it out to us. It was about the potassium specifically. That's what it was. Hold on, let me bring it up here. God damn it. What are you, are you getting your passcode wrong?

No, I guess, get my passcode wrong. He's hacking into the mainframe. I had to hack him. He's going into witch, witch, corporate. The back end. Little green potassium machine was there. Was there pro avocado propaganda of avocados contain more potassium than bananas?

Which I did not know. The banana industry is, this is so mad at this. They're like, we had one thing. It was potassium. And when we go bad, you make bread out of us. That's another half thing. And it's so, they must be so mad. Cause avocados, if you're talking about things

that go bad fast, now they're potassium kings. Right. Yeah. This is, if I, if I were a banana executive or salesman and I saw that, I'd be like, I'm through. It's over. I would jump out of my office window. I agree.

I agree with that. Next thing you know, the minions are going to be green. They're yellow because they eat bananas, I think in part. What the fuck? Is that cannon? Yeah. Or is they call it canana? Nick's writing his own fucking minion lord.

You know, I think it's cool is that my godfather son Neil, Neil Kiley, owner of the fat cat restaurant in Quincy. I remember he, there's, he came back from football practice and he got a cramp and he like was down on his porch and like couldn't get up. And his mom, my godmother, Kathy, she called someone and they're like, give him a banana. And like gave him a banana and it helped him,

it helped him, it helped him with his cramps. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. That's how, that's how nutrition works sometimes. It's kind of amazing when you see the effects that like discreetly, you just see, you just see the exact A to B cause and effect.

Now an avocado would do it. But in, back in the late 80s, early 90s in New England, they thought avocados were witchcraft. Did not believe in them. There was no avocado to be seen. No, they called them goblin eyes. What did you guys think of that? That I know you guys nibbled on that spinach wrap a little bit.

What were your impressions? I liked it. I thought sometimes you get at a place like this, especially, right at a chain sub shop, you get a veggie thing and it's just a bunch of iceberg lettuce shredded up and that's like the dominant taste and texture. It was, I thought the avocado came through. There was like enough of it that it gave a nice smooth texture.

It really was. Nice, nice, like offset by kind of the saltiness of the olives. I enjoyed it. Nick, for me, it was my last bite. Yeah. When you warned me, you said, that's good. That could be your last bite. It's kind of the plain one.

To me, it evoked the taste of the, a D'Angelo's kind of salad and a pita wrap. It was, it was, it had like a nice kind of like, it almost tasted kind of like a little Greek wrap to me, even though it was, it was not really whatever the dress, what was the dressing in there? It was just mayonnaise. Oh, it was mayo.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, gross. Anyways, all of that stuff combined together. You liked it. I know it all combined together to a nice little, it was a nice taste. It was a nice bite.

It was good. I enjoyed it. I mean, like, it's not what I would get most likely, but it was, it was good. And there was a little bit of heat in there. I didn't know there was jalapenos in there until I bit into it. It was good.

It's nice to know that if you are vegetarian, or if you're just trying to eat a little lighter, that they can execute that option well. And then let's talk about the side. So we all got the chips in the drink. I got the, so they have their house chips there, which are like a sea salt and pepper. And let me bring up exactly what, yeah,

they're just called house chips. They're kettle cooked, sea salt and cracked pepper, as I said. I thought those were, those are great chips. So like they're like a ridge chip, like a ruffles, a thicker ridge than a ruffles. And I really liked them. I thought they were, I thought they were outstanding.

And there's like, that would be my go-to chip. I was going to have it there. Did you get any of those chips, Josh? I did. I really, I liked those a lot. I thought they really stood out. I like a crunchy, the crunchier the chip, the better for me. And so this had a nice kettle chip crunch. I love a Cape Cod chip.

Shout out to Cape Cod. Hell yeah. Yeah. Did you ever go to the Cape Cod potato chip factory? No, I never went. Oh man. They give you one of the little bags at the end? Yeah, I put myself under the end of the conveyor belt

and just laid there. But yeah, I thought they were like terrific chips, hearty crunch, nice flavor. Yeah, those are great. I met you, you went with the Doritos. I got some cool ranches. I mean, can't go wrong with cool ranch. Come on, it's cool ranch, baby.

Yeah, you said that to Zool. He was like, cool ranch, baby. That was when I switched to high schools, that was my new identity, was cool ranch. Josh, the cool ranch tailor for some reason. I said it like the Chinatown quote to Zool on the way out. It's cool ranch, Zool, I left. Forget it, Zool.

Forget it, Zool, it's cool ranch. Now he's going to tell everyone like, yeah, people tell me my name's from this movie, Chinatown. Forget it, Zool, it's cool ranch. What the fuck are you talking about? Forget it, Zool, the ranch is cool. Just tell me the restroom code. Oh, I'm going to say something about that too,

which we'll get into in a second. But I don't like restroom codes, but I get it for where they are. Yeah. But the house chips were good. They were good. You let me have a couple. Nick, they were surprisingly good.

Those are nice. And then a drink, you know, I just got... They have a standard fountain. I don't think there's anything remarkable about the fountain. I didn't see the iced tea, so I got myself a Diet Coke. Yeah, I made myself a Nick Weiger, a third lemonade, two-thirds iced tea,

my riff on an Arnold Palmer. And yeah, it was quite nice. I got a Pib Extra, which I just don't see very often, so I was enticed by it. Yeah, and there was Mellow Yellow in the... There was like interesting fountain drinks. Yeah, Mellow Yellow and Pib Extra.

Do they have just regular Pib anymore, or they just rebranded Mr. Pib as Pib Extra? I don't know. What is Pib Extra? They assassinated Mr. Pib. His estate would only give him the rights to like a... They can't have the Mr. part.

It's like how the doors have to be the 21st century doors right around Jim Morrison. Here's the issue. The drinks are right by the restroom, which is weird. I didn't like that. Yeah, bad design, bad functuary. Yeah, right. Yeah, less than ideal.

And then we also... What if you actually go back there and get a drink? You get a cup full of piss accidentally. Happens all the time. Accidentally. Oops, did it again. Zool's like, get the fuck out of here. Well, don't want to go to waste.

What? I should also... No, it's literally waste. I should also say that Zool was very, very good. The meatball sandwich being called, which people are listening, Zool did a fantastic job. He was really, really helpful. And it was offering to help out if anything was wrong.

He was great. And really helpful. There was another worker behind the counter. We didn't catch her name, but she was making a lot. She was really nice to you. She was great. The one thing I liked about it, that you brought it up, he immediately intuited that you hadn't used their ordering

system before and helped out, which like... There are a lot of places you go in the world, like I just went through TSA to get here, where they act like you're also at their job all day, knowing all the rules, and for him to be like, oh, hey, this is like, you might need to know this, and this will help you out. And it'll help me out eventually.

But like, so I thought that was really nice because it could have just as easily broken the other way and had to be like, you're right on the bag. It's like, I don't, I don't only eat here. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, it's, and you still got it wrong, by the way. Oh yeah, I messed up the avocado one, because I thought that one was prefab.

I didn't realize I had to check off all the options. So I kind of hurriedly did it. It's slightly confusing, but also not that confusing. Like, once someone just tells you the deal, it's... Yeah. You can get it pretty quick. Yeah, I fixed it. But a thing that I did like here was that they did give you

nine pre-made options. Yes. I do kind of wish that there were more pre-made options, but they were like, those are the nine most popular, and I'm like, how do they decide this? It comes from data from 350 different stores. I mean, maybe they're the nine most popular, because they're the ones with the big pictures

you can just check off on the bag. Yes. It's very easy to order them. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah. I wish that there was one signature sandwich for every meat, like every protein or something. Yeah, or some simpler sandwiches like a tuna meld

or a buffalo chicken, just something with a little less going on. Right. It's easy to forget too, because some of the other protein options are like, they have egg salad there, and it's like, oh, I might have missed this on the menu, because it's kind of like a thrown away like an asterisk.

We got an Oreo milkshake. We had a couple of sweet treats, Oreo milkshake and a Courtney's cake birthday cake. Let's start with that birthday. Hey, my sister's name, Courtney. Oh, how about that? HBD, Courtney, whenever it is. It was in February, so I guess not that far back.

There you go, belated. It'll come back around. Yeah, it'll come back around. It'll come back around. The, boy, does her age line up with the single digit of the year? Yeah, we got to redo this bit. Counting by 10.

Jesus. No, she was not born in 1980. Shame. But the Oreo milkshake, the Oreo milkshake, I thought was, it's really like pureed. It's like, there aren't chunks of Oreo in there. There aren't little bits of cookie. It's just like, it's just.

Easy for drinking, I'll say that much. Easy for drinking. You can sip through a straw, like a regular straw, not a fancy thick milkshake straw. A regular straw, you can just suck that up. It was pretty thin. Nick, would this milkshake bring all the boys to the yard, do you think, or no?

I think it would, but I don't think that Daniel Plainview would drink it. Wow. I think it's kind of, it was a good milkshake, but I think not a home run. And we've exhausted all the notable milkshake references. There's going to be at least one more milkshake. Yeah, there probably is.

What are we missing? I definitely couldn't think of it. No, yeah. Did I say milkshake brings all the boys to the yard? Yeah, you said that one. And then is I drinking milkshakes? Yeah, we said, Joe, you're drinking milkshake. Forget it, milkshake, it's China time.

Yeah, that's it, there you go. That's the trifect. Forget it, Zulu, it's milkshake time. I'm turning on the air, Nick, just so you don't get scared. Why would I get scared? Everything scares you. What did you guys think of that Oreo milkshake? I liked it.

I think I'd prefer it a little thinner with the chunks more indoctrinated into the milk itself in the ice cream. I enjoyed it. Yeah, I probably wouldn't get, like at a sandwich place, I don't think I would get a milkshake all that often. Right. If I was like, oh yeah, just cold cut sub, giant thick milkshake.

Right. But it's kind of weird that they offer them. Yeah, I was a little surprised. But it doesn't seem like a place that would offer it, but. No, but I remember I took one last hit of milkshake before we left. So I think it was good, went back for it. I liked it.

I thought it was good. I think I agree with you that it would bring some of the boys to the yard. Not all of the boys to the yard. Not Daniel Plainview, so. He was included. That's who Khalees was thinking of Daniel Plainview and the other the other. Yeah, the rest of the oil prospectors. I wouldn't bring the I wouldn't bring plain view.

It definitely now it's not playing you worthy, but the man who knows this worth it. It was good. It was it was a it's a good milkshake. Wouldn't kill anyone with a bowling pin for it. It's you can't say it's good. It was good. It was a good milkshake.

Yeah, it's not the bet. It's it's it's what would you say a C or C plus a B minus somewhere in that range. It's not worth going out of your way for. But if you're at which which and for whatever reason you're craving a milkshake, I think you're not going to be disappointed. The birthday cake. And that was good. I mean, I like it.

So it's basically what is like a like a brownie sized chunk of birthday cake with a with that birthday frosting on top of it. You almost you asked what the most popular one was because I said, oh, I like chocolate cake. Yeah, that clear. And then Zool told us the chocolate cake is the most popular. You almost got the chocolate cake. And then I said, Nick, you want the birthday cake.

Yes. And you did. And then right. I was just saying that I did it for you. I know you got you. You pushed me to get what I wanted. And I'm glad you did. You're mad that I brought this up.

No, I thought that was good. You wanted the bro. You should have gotten the birthday game. We did. Yeah, I got that. I thought I mean, I liked it. It's again, it's funny enough, though, not really birthday cake flavor. It was it was more like kind of a vanilla.

It wasn't as aggressively birthday cakey as some other things. But that was good. It had like the, you know, like the birthday cake batter that's like. Right. The Funfetti. Funfetti, which it would taste great. Yeah, I thought it was. Yeah.

Any other thoughts on that? I thought it was soft, softer, like nice and moist moisture. And then I thought it was going to be because when you unwrapped it, it looked a little shittier than it did wrapped. But I thought it was good. Yeah. It's like rarely something I would crave, but it was tasty. Yeah.

Amply frosted. Yep. I would just say it's similar to the milkshake. Just not a thing that I would get at a sub shop very often. You usually have an occasion to get desserts when I'm when I'm getting a sandwich like this. It's often a work lunch. They also had some cookies, which I thought that's like a more traditional sub shop dessert. Yeah, for sure.

Which we maybe should have gotten. And don't be yourself. No, let's go back and get the cookie. All right. All right, we're back. We got the cookie worth it. We got there and Weiger said to Zula, I want this cookie cookie. Yeah, he left the he left the country.

Yeah, he left. He is. He was born here and then chose to leave. He's in Panama now. Rash decision. But let's get to our final thoughts on on which which. So Josh, here's what I should have said. You what?

You should you should you wrote on the brown paper bag. Okay. That's what I should have said. It's okay. I think I think that's lateral to me. Yeah, I just thought, you know, I just kind of yours worked. You didn't need to second guess it. I didn't take time on it.

I just kind of forced it out. That's okay. That is that is a very apropos for cookie cookie. Don't take time on it. You just force it out. So Josh, we'll each go around. We'll say a sort of our summation of our thoughts on this particular restaurant and then give it a rating from zero to five forks.

You are our guest. We'll begin with you. Thank you. So I enjoyed our meal there. It was a it was like a kind of bright, not uncomfortable place to sit. There weren't a ton of tables to set up, but like we we grabbed on. It was a fine place and feel rushed. The sandwiches I thought ranged from the meatball was not great.

Everything else I thought was like pretty good to good. The shake was good. What else do we oh the chip? The chips were really strong. Yeah. I just think the ceiling is so low for this kind of restaurant. Like a five fork sub shop. Generally, to me, that would be like a local sub shop.

It's just hard to do in a chain, I think, to have stuff that you're really like you would go out of your way to go to. I mean, other than D'Angelo's, of course. But I think it was solid. I would eat there again. I think if it was, you know, an option of food court or a was driving, and they had it at a truck stop or something. I would choose that over other fast food options.

So I'm going to go with a strong but unspectacular three and a half forks. Three and a half forks. Good score. Mitch, your thoughts. You say I got a bottle opener too, by the way. Which which I wanted to I wanted to like. Nick is disappointed. He just saw something he isn't going to like.

Which I walked into which which and I wanted to like it. I wanted I wanted I was maybe thinking this place was golden plate club material. And I think it's close. I think it's really close. I think Zool was was very helpful, very great service. The place was really clean. I liked kind of the back system was kind of fun and interesting. But then biting into that meatball sandwich, it was it was a let down.

It had to be better than that. It just and then there were some sandwiches that were really good. I had fun tasting. And honestly, I think my recommendation if you went there would be to get like two smaller things and kind of like have fun having a couple different things. Which is like not normally going to happen. You're usually going to go and just get one one sandwich. And it's unfortunately not easy to do here because they don't have an equivalent of like the you know.

Mini or something. You don't have a mini. They they're smallest size is like nine dollars. It's a full size sandwich. Yeah. Yeah. Seven inches the small. Yeah.

So. I mean seven inches is the small. That's for everyone. Seven inches is big. I know. I know. Jesus. Just saying.

That would be horrifying for you. For me for most of the majority of the world. Yeah. But for you in particular. Five to six is the average. Okay. Yeah. For subs.

Did which which put a spell on me? Not as much as I it wasn't as bewitching as I thought Nick. I the spell was cast when I walked in there and I was and snacks in the city. And I was ready to be I was ready to be taken with this witch's brew. But I but it in the end Nick that bite of that bite of meatball was by like biting into an eye of Newt. So I'm going to go. It's close. It's good.

I think it's like a fun place. Yes. I'm going to go. You know what I was going to go like 3.75 but I think I'm going to go three and a half as well. Three and a half for three and a half forks. That just feels right. It's not a bad place. I would get it in a jam.

I think it's not like a right. But I'd be glad to see it if you're like man I really need a quick bite to eat. Yeah. It's not it's not it's not a lot down but I think I would do Jersey mikes. I would do a couple other places before I would do which which. Let me just say that I think which which is a part of a larger trend which I welcome which is the upscale sandwich shop the the the sprawling sandwich chain that's available across the country and to some degree internationally that is a of a higher quality than a quiz nose

or a subway or even a togos. It's like it's like it's like just like a step above and I'll throw Jersey mikes in there. I'll throw firehouse subs in there who firehouses houses get there. They're kind of in that same tier and I think which which you know belongs in that company. I think it does what it's trying to do well. I really was I really like the service of this location in particular. I don't I don't know if that speaks to this individual franchisee or the company at large but it was very good service.

I thought the the ordering system was a lot of fun and the sandwiches are hit or miss but the hits I think were pretty strong. And to me look is which which going to bring all the boys to the yard. I don't think so. I mean I think it may it'll come close but Daniel Plainview isn't going to want to drink it. I agree. So for that reason I'm going to go with three and a half forks as well. Wow.

Wow. A true handholding. It's in the handholding club not quite in the Golden Play Club but I don't think it quite belongs there yet. Yeah it doesn't. No maybe it'll get there. It was it was a good chain and I think it's a good solid sandwich option. By the way we're walking to our car I took the train over and so I rode with Mitch and

he drove he drove us back to his place for us to record and we walked into the garage and as we walked in the garage Mitch turns to me and says like I just want to warn you it smells a lot like piss and I assumed you were talking about your car. Yes insane but you meant the parking garage and you thought that like Wally and Irma had pissed in it. What did you think? My question was like wait you looked at like the cats in there and you're like no and then it took me a and then for a second I was like how did it get smelling like piss

and then I figured out you meant the parking garage piss. Yes human piss in the garage. What do you tell what the fuck. I thought someone had peed in your car. No you fucking freak. It was in the garage. I appreciate the warning either way it did smell a lot like piss. It did.

In your car. That was a review of which which it's time for a segment. We've got a beverage. When we were walking through that garage you were inhaling pretty deep in and out. JP snips. We've got a beverage and we're going to decide if you should pour it down your throat. It's drank or stank. Mitch you mentioned that I was scowling at something earlier.

I'll say what it is that we we came to a compromise because we had a couple of drink options we're just going to do them both. One I find repulsive the other was given to us by some listeners who I think came to our live show was it in Nashville or Huntsville. I don't know Huntsville one of our two live shows gave us gave us one of those options. So I think we'll start with this grosser one and then we'll end with this hopefully more delightful one to be to be to end our meal and then walk through the strong piss smell. And you said you said that you that that would deter you because it's the basically

where you park to go to the restaurant. Yeah you said that that we were going to turn for you to come back because of that the piss smell. Yeah. But to eat lunch and then have that smell and then now drink this. Yes. Which is it's it's piss. It's his flavored soda.

No it's Lester's fixin ranch dressing soda. God you all get your fixin. Where did you get this. It was given to us on tour. I hate it. This this is this is going to be bad. It's going to be awful. Yeah.

I can't imagine the world. And I think if I liked it I would hate me. Yeah here's here's my thing is like I like ranch. It kind of does smell like ranch. Oh ranch is great. Like that's a great flavor. And then this this sort of this sort of concoction that someone comes up with it's like makes me dislike something that I like and then that's why I'm that's that's a big reason

why I'm fervently opposed to doing this although I'll have it. I'll be a good sport. It smells very bad. It just looks clear. It just looks like a spray. It does smell bad. Fuck. Yeah smells are poles.

This is going to make this might make me throw up. And I'm a rare puker. I'm an infrequent puker. Oh it smells bad. Hashtag rare puker. Oh it's horrible. Oh don't drink it Nick. It's so bad.

Did you have some. Don't drink. I'm gonna take a sip. Don't drink it. Don't drink it. It's not bad. The fuck. It's not bad.

It's not the worst thing in the world. That's true. Yeah. But like I mean have you seen the world. The fuck is wrong with you. It is really bad. Oh it's gross. I might puke.

It's pretty good. It's pretty. I mean it's bad but it's not terrible. Like I thought I was expecting it to be worse. Oh I think it's pretty much my expectations. It tastes different than I expected but equally bad. Right. I don't want to have any more of this.

But I hate that so much. But it wasn't as terrible as that it was. Anyway that's a definite stink. And I hate to admit that. Emma is waving her hand in front of her nose. I can smell it. It's gross. It's almost to the point.

It's past stink and onto like prank. Yes. Like it shouldn't exist. Wow. New level. It's a new level. This is a prank. Prank drink.

I agree with that. Yeah for a beverage that's a true abomination. That has no purpose except to trick your friends. This is a prank. Yeah. That's a little bit. I want to say this. It tastes like ranch that's gone bad.

It does. Yeah. Yeah. There's like a sweetness to it that feels wrong. Like it's like a sweet ranch. See the little bit of sweetness is what made it mildly palatable. To me the fact that it had any sort of sweet character at all. But yeah this is this is a definite prank.

All right but let's move on to the fun stuff. We got some sun drop. This is a citrus soda. I'm still pissed about that. This is 250 fucking calories. What the the sun drop. You don't want it anymore. No.

250 calories in like so this is like I feel like a coke of this size would be what. Would it be 200. I feel like it would be like 180. Yeah 180 sounds right to me. This is definitely. This is like a sugar. This is sugared up. This seems very loaded with high fructose corn syrup.

Let's have a little sip of this. Do we know what we I'm going to do some quick research. Consume a quick google and figure out what region sun drop hails from. Somewhere in the south. It gave me like that same dry taste that the ranch did for a second. Right. So I hated it. I hated it.

So hold on a second. It's just the ranch in disguise. I'm back. This is what I sound like. Where's my ranch for. Sun drop is a citrus flavored soda produced by Dr. Pepper Snapple Group. Yellowish green color imparted by Tartrazine. I can't tell if the aftertaste is from the ranch soda or if it's from the sun drop.

It's not helping. It has orange drink in it. So it's kind of like that's part of where it gets it's a citrus character and more caffeine than Mountain Dew. Wow. So this is soup. This is super. We're going to be wired.

We're going to be such good gamers after this. How about you now interested in it again. No, I'm like really glad I didn't do that. I usually don't drink caffeine. This coffee I'm drinking is decaf. Oh, OK. I don't drink caffeine. Yeah, that would have.

Oh, you know what that aftertaste was the ranch, I believe, because it's now finally going away. Yeah, this is this is not unpleasant. This is nice. This is a this is a drink for me. I would I would have this again if I was in the Carolinas. If I was down in the Sun Belt, if I will not Sun Belt. If I was a I said Sun Belt because it's called Sun Drop. The Drop Belt.

If I was down the Drop Belt. The Drop Belt. If I was down in the if I was down the South, I think I would treat myself to a Sun Drop. This is a molasses boy drink. I'm all hopped up on Sun Belt. My energy is through the room. Yeah, I'm going to go drink as well. I think it's I wouldn't have this often, but it's a fun little drink.

This feels like a this. I wonder if I might be wrong, but this feels like a mixer. Oh, yeah, yeah. If you're if you're young and you're young and down there in Huntsville or in Nashville, this is is this a mix and you can pour some some pop off vodka in there. Some some store brought like cheap vodka you get from a Rite Aid or a CVS. It feels like a lower octane tastier Red Bull vodka is what you get. Yeah, right.

And it also feels like kids like young kids fucking hopped up and drives like a terrible. It's probably a bad mixer. Yeah, this is it was originally called a drink this and die after prom. But Sun Drop just like I think it's it just focus grouped better. Yeah, it flows a little better. Josh, you go drink on this one. I will go drink. It's like a subtler Mountain Dew.

Right. It's like the midpoint between a sprite and a Mountain Dew. Yeah, it's it's it's quite nice. And I'm surprised that it's caffeine content is so sky high because it doesn't taste like it. It doesn't have like the aggressive sweetness that you'll get of like a Jolt Cola. But it is. But it is good. It's quite nice.

I died after prom. I probably have some sort of fucking statue up for me and Quincy or something. Yeah. RIP version. Next to all. To be fair, they it's the Virgin Mary with you. The Virgin. To be fair, they still had a pretty big window after after prom.

Still about four years. They'd started smithing the statue like he's a virgin. He's about to die. We're going to need this at some point in the next decade. At some point we'll need the statue. You said they made it when I was 18 and said we need it within the next decade. They were banking on me for being a virgin for the next decade. And dead.

And they just slowly aged it up. Yeah. Add some more beard hair. I that was. Well, I got news for you. I'm still alive. I thought you were going to say still a virgin. I'm still a virgin, baby.

Just like a restaurant. Sex is black. Yeah. No one likes that shit. This is fucking garbage. This is a Christian chain restaurant podcast. We Mitch and I are incels. We're incels now.

I married an incel. You gross fucking animals. Married an incel starring Ed O'Neill. Just like a restaurant. We value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. We have a voicemail today on Vossal. All right.

Let's hear it. Hi there, boys. My name is Beatrice from Minnesota. So I love food and music. Those are my two favorite things. And I was just wondering what your favorite song about food is or favorite song that mentions food. Mine is Too Much Food by Jason Moran. Thank you very much.

Hashtag burger brigade. Hashtag food nation. In both worlds. I blame both sides. Fuck that shit. I welcome that gesture of unity. Beatrice Switzerland over here. Thanks for the question, Beatrice.

I, Nico, before when we were on a little break here, as you were plugging into your computer. Yes. Right after I announced I was a voicemail. You nearly knocked over the cup of ranch drink. Yeah. Look, it was an issue with a,

wait, a bunch of cables on this table. I couldn't see it because my laptop screen had obscured the presence of Josh's. I'm not accusing anyone of anything. I wanted it far from me. So I put it as far away as I could read. I don't blame you at all. That was behind Nick's computer, which is my fault.

No, it's okay. And but you caught it. It was fine. Nothing was spilled. Luckily, cables on our table, not cable. You mean cable the marble villain? Yeah. Is that what you're going at?

The guy from Deadpool? Yeah. Like he's, if he got wet with a ranch, ranch soda, he'd be upset. He'd fucking blow a hole in your ass. Anybody would. Nobody would like that. Deadpool will probably say some fucking line about it.

After you got shot, how would you feel about that? I don't care for how he breaks the fourth wall. Just like if I take down steer on the ranch. Ryan Reynolds, baby. He just goes full past the fourth wall. I'm married to Blake Lively. Wow. This got lazy saying facts from his own Wikipedia page.

You know, I'm very excited for a detective Pikachu. Yeah, but I saw him kind of doing like a fourth Wally thing the other day, or he did something like, I forget what it was. And then he was Pikachu hold on to Kayfab. He did something. He did something like Deadpool ish or he's like really. I think he's like, I forget what it was. He was listening to DMX saying curse words.

Well, the really like the really trope. I get that that's like kind of a thing that's maybe well worn, but that's like that's not breaking the fourth wall necessarily. Sure. It wasn't Deadpool. They have a really in in the new Aladdin, the Aladdin remake. They have a they have a they have a really. That's that's I don't I don't love that, but it was because I

liked I've liked the previous for detective Pikachu. I'm interested, but it was kind of like a dead. It was like a little it was a little right much of a line. I could do without the release. He's like, I got come on my yellow fur or something like that. Yeah, that was weird that they put that in the trailer that they showed. It was the red trailer is a red band. Yeah.

Are you excited about it, Nick? I think of course. I'm a Nintendo fan of I'd lie. I hope that the detective Pikachu is good. I wish it all the success in the world. But if you could use been struggling in obscurity for too long. Pikachu needs to catch a break. It's going to be I think it's going to be maybe we could go see it together.

I hope so. It might be out by the time this episode's out. I don't know when it really goes see it together and make it a double. Oh, how fun. You don't mean that. Make it a double date. I could bring Natalie. You can bring both your cats in a trench coat.

It's tough for a boss. I don't have to put wall in Arma in a trench coat to sneak them in. You're talking like a Muppet sort of like pass them off as a man. You do two legs one in each leg of a pair of pants. That's a ghost. Eight footed ghost. I'm not bringing wall in Arma to the theater. They can watch it here with me later on.

But so so the question hold on a second. Yes. That's what you would say I'd bring for a date. Is my cat. Well, who else? What else? What are your other options? A human being.

Okay. Bring a person. Mama Mitchell. Or fly your sister out. Trying to hold you back from fighting Pikachu. Could bring Armin. What the what the fuck is this? Oh, whatever.

Well, let's go. Let's go into the let's get into the voice. Beatrice from Minnesota wondering what your favorite food song was. My mind immediately goes to weird Al. I mean, you know, weird Al, the king of the king of song parodies. Obviously. Which one? He's done a few food parodies.

Let's hear them. You know, like like eat it. He's done it. He didn't eat it. Problematic. Okay. You think eat it is problematic? It comes from beat it.

Because Michael Jackson is problematic. That's right. I think if you do a parody of something problematic, that's non problematic. I don't know. I think it still carries over. I think it I think it waxes the waxes off the problematic element. I don't think so.

No, I think that's what that's the nature of the parody. I don't could you like what if you if someone if like weird Al this week dropped a parody of I believe I can fly. You'd be like, this is weird and problematic. Yes, it would be. Yeah, right now in this current climate, it would be. But I think the eat it parody predated any of the M.J. I think you're right.

That's what it is. I think it's okay for him to still do it. By the way, it has dropped. Hashtag weird Al knew. If we if we're like he knew. It's part of the silencing campaign. Jesus Christ. I think I also think of weird Al dropped.

I believe I can fry. I think we'd all enjoy it. Yeah, that's true. He'd have a fun spin on it. That's true. All the things he'd talk about frying. He's the best. I think the you know, like, like, like that a lot of weird Al

parodies. Wait, what's the what's the fucking other one? He's got to beat it. Oh, God, what the fuck is the other one that fat? Fat. Yes. Yeah, Michael Jackson ones that are specifically like food related. That is also good.

My immediate thought was scenes from an Italian restaurant. Right on. That's that's the that was where I went first. Uh, it's I mean, it's as much about divorce as it is about food. Yeah. But still, I that and then my brain just stopped. It was like, you got one, dude.

Take a rest. That's that condom and work effort. Scenes from an Italian restaurant are that's a that's a that's a that's a really good one. Yeah, I like also too. And you guys were doing some food jingles earlier. But I mean, I always think of the that specifically makes me think of food jingles.

You know, the in and out burger song we did. I think people know there's the, you know, there's a there's a bunch of different ones. The Chili's Baby Back Rib Jingle. But I think of one that's pretty local to LA. Well, it's very local to LA because there's to what I know one location. Tito's Taco has a great jingle.

Like the only thing better than a Tito's Taco is two. Yeah. And it's like I say that song for the birthday boys. And I thought I was insane because I didn't know. Because I love Tito's Tacos. You love Tito's too. Taco, Tacos, Tito, a taco, a taco, Tito. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. That's like a spute. I don't know the lyrics. Yeah. We also got the spicy burritos. The only thing better than a Tito's Taco is two. It's a great song.

Yeah, I like that. I'm sold. Yeah. And I was singing that in a pool one day with the birthday boys. I love Tito's Tacos. You love Tito's too. And they didn't know what the fuck I was talking about.

They thought I was crazy. You have to see that local TV commercial that airs like sporadically late night. I've seen that commercial maybe six times total in my life. And I grew up here. Mitch, anything come to mind? I've looked up. I cheated.

I mean, I had my answer anyways. But I looked up songs about food. First of all, Milkshake came up. Oh, that's a good one. Milkshake, which we were referencing in this episode. Also, That's a More came up. That's a good one. Mashed potatoes, peaches and cream.

I love Rocky Road by Weirdow. Oh, that's fun. Pork and beans by Weezer. How about Apple's Peaches Pumpkin Pie? That's a good. That's a great song. Something, something, something, something. That's not that's that.

I like that one. Yeah, I like that song. Blueberry Hill by Fatsomano. But take a big one that you missed. Cheeseburger and Paradise. Oh, my God. Our pal Jimmy Buffett, our good friend, Jimmy Buffett. Our good friend, Jimmy Buffett.

Our close colleague, Jimmy Buffett. Gaston, an upcoming Doe Boyz double, Jimmy Buffett. He's booked. My favorite is Too Much by Dave Matthews, baby. Oh, yeah. Going to eat too much. Going to drink too much. I eat too much.

Oh, I didn't know that was about eating. Yeah. I mean, it's about every, it's about being, you know, like. Just doing things too much. Yeah, doing, yeah, being excessive with anything, I guess. Right. You know what comes up is. You talking about beating off?

No. It's like an old bridge. Going to eat too much. Going to jerk too much. He doesn't jerk too much. He's grappling with his porn addiction. It's funny that there's so many songs about. Don't too much shit out of our tour.

There's, there's so many, there's so many songs about food. It's really funny that there's a bunch of songs about food. Right. But also the Pina Colada song Escape is a great song. Oh, that's a good one. Parentheses Escape, as we've talked about before. Yes. But a friend of the podcast, Ben Gruber, his brother,

saying sex and candy. That's right. That's right. I don't like half of that song, as we know. I like, I like, I like the candy part. Right. But if it better off of that song, it's just called candy. Oh yeah, that's, I think too much is too much is it for me.

Too much is by Dave Matthews Band. Let us know your favorite, your favorite food tune. Hashtag, sounds of the stomach. Geez Louise. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at doboyspodcasts at gmail.com. Or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godo. That's 830-463-6844.

And to get the No Boys Double, our weekly bonus episode, join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash doboys. Josh Gondelman, the album Dancing on a Weeknight, available now. Thank you so much for joining us. Anything else you would like to plug at this time? Oh, sure. I think by the time this is out, my book will be out for pre-sale too. Very cool.

Yeah. Congratulations. Thank you. It comes out in September, but pre-sale should be live. It's called Nice Try Stories of Best Intentions and Mixed Results. Oh, how about that? Thank you. That rules.

Thank you. Mitch, you think you'll ever have a book? The Do Boys book. Do Boys book? Yeah, the Do Boys book. It will be a picture book. Why not, right? Yeah, I'm into it.

The Do Boys book. It will be like one of those true crime books. The first true crime pop-up book. That'll do it for this episode of Do Boys. Until next time for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weicker. Happy eating. See ya. On the next Do Boys Double,

Struggle Session host and Twitter lightning rod, Jack Allison, joins to review McDonald's Worldwide Favorites menu. And we make our Mount Rushmore a favorite July 4th movies. Hint, July 4th is known as Independence Day. Get the Do Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Do Boys. Do it. That was a hate gum podcast.