Doughboys - Whole Foods 2 with Emily Yoshida

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

Emily Yoshida (@emilyyoshida, Shōgun) joins the 'boys to talk favorite months, Iowa chains, and Amazon before a review of Whole Foods. Plus, a new segment, The Price is Ripe.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at doughboys.kinshipgoods.comAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.soyinfocenter.com/books/224https://www.businessinsider.com/whole-foods-timeline-from-start-to-amazon-2017-9https://www.austintexas.gov/article/austin-remembers-1981-memorial-day-floodhttps://www.kvue.com/article/news/austin-remembers-lives-lost-in-1981-memorial-day-flood/269-411617278https://www.flickr.com/photos/austintexasgov/albums/72157626196677382/with/5510040331https://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/company-infoSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Not long after the widespread adoption of the diesel tractor, a backlash arrived in the form of the natural foods movement. Growing organically, if you will, from a collective of farms united by their commitment to environmentally friendly practices, by the 60s and 70s natural food stores began to pop up in hippie-friendly communities like San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Austin, Texas. And it's Austin where partners Renee Lawson and John Mackey founded their store Saferway in 1978, which would merge with rival Clarksville Natural Grocery in 1980, birthing a supermarket brand that's become ubiquitous today.

But barely a year into the joint concept's existence, Austin was struck by the historic Memorial Day flood of 1981, which killed 13 people and destroyed dozens of homes and businesses, including this fledgling organic store. The dream appeared to be dead. But then, the rain stopped, the community rallied, and in a potent show of solidarity, locals committed to keep Austin Fed volunteered to rebuild the devastated sore front. Less than a month later, the retailer reopened, and local bands played played a benefit dubbed the Resurrection Party to celebrate the miraculous comeback. And back it came and grew from an Austin institution to a chain spanning Texas and then the US

and Canada, exponentially increasing its footprint as baby boomer hippies evolved like Evil Pokemon into SUV driving suburbanites, willing to pay a premium for alternatives to processed food stock supermarkets. In 2017, the company was acquired by Amazon in a billion-dollar bid to expand its Amazon Fresh operations, the two corporations sharing common ground in their hatred of organized labor. Today, 43 years after the Texas flood that nearly smothered a mom-and-pop greengrocer in its crib, it's inconceivable that a community, in the wake of a natural disaster, would rally to rebuild what's effectively

a refrigerated Amazon warehouse. But it seems that no movement, no matter how pure, no institution, no matter how beloved, can muster the necessary psychic resistance against the sole devouring mind-flare tendrils of capital. This week on Doughboys, we return to Whole Foods Market. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger along with my co-host, Hogey Bear, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. Not a bad roast.

Hogey Bear. Hogey Bear. Like Yogi Bear, but a sandwich. Yeah. I said wait, what? That's what it is? Hogey Bear. Yeah, what did you think it is? Oh, the bear.

Yeah, what did you think it was? Well, I mean, like, I thought it was just like a bear that liked hoagies or something. Well, I think that's why the pun works, but yogi bear is a thing that exists. I mean, that's what the word play is. Okay, like yogi bear, but a hoagie. Yeah.

Doesn't he already love food though, yogi bear? This is specifically, I think, a sandwich focused yogi bear. Got it, got it. That's my luck. Sorry for speaking out of turn. No, you're doing great. I can actually read this explanation that came in from our theater.

Oh, yes, please. Hi, Nick, Mitch, Emma, Amelia, Casey, and Jemmy. Jemmy's right here to the right of me, sitting next to me this time. Hogi Bear came to me in a dream. Did Casey knock it? No, Casey did. Hi, Nick, Mitch, Emma, Amelia, Casey, and Jemmy. Okay. So Jemmy... The listemi. Okay, so Jemi over Sus.

Yeah, Jemi over Sus and over Microbiddy, you editor, but that's okay. He's okay with that. We love Jemi. Hogi Bear came to me in a dream, I think because Mitch is a bear and he likes sandwiches. I'm sure there's other similarities there too. I hope this makes Mitch say,

what the fuck followed by something rude about me as a person, heart emoji. Love you guys, Sarah Victoria BC. That's in Canada, parenthetical, roasted bird bird. Sarah, I would not wanna inception your dreams. Sound pretty boring. You dreaming about writing an email? What's happening exactly?

Like call Mitch Hoguey Bear. That'll be great. It could be on the show. Also, we know British Columbia is in Canada We're not stupid. We're not fucking stupid. Did the top stop spinning? What did the top stop? Oh tongue the end of inception? Mm-hmm. I mean our guests might have an opinion on that. I think it's good that you don't Mitch This is my hot take. I think it's good that it's not revealed I think it's I think it's good that you don't, this is my hot take, I think it's good that it's not revealed. I think it's good that it's up to you. But you don't wanna hear from him, I thought. Yeah. I think it stopped spinning.

I think that he, I think it was, I mean, like everyone is like, he's in a dream, but I think that he's in reality. What if there's a post credits where it just like stops spinning at the very end and just completely solved the mystery? Would people like that or would they get really mad? I think they'd maybe like it.

You're saying like a post marvel, like post, like a Marvel post credits. Yeah, like that or would they get really mad? I think they'd maybe like it. You're saying like a post marvel, like post, like a Marvel post credits. Yeah, the very end they, the full credits, like five minutes of credits. And then you just return to the top and the top just like stops. Well, you do see the top like kind of spin.

But it doesn't. It wavers a little. It wavers a little bit. But then I like, it's like the opposite effect of a normal post credit sequence where it's like, there's gonna be more and like showing the top stop spinning would just be a definitive like, no, this is the last movie, we're not doing this anymore.

Yeah. Such a relief, that's very kind. I would see more Inception. I would like to get back into the, did everyone die? No, they all live. Yeah, you can do an Inception too. Inception too, why not?

I think maybe because you know, Nolan is maybe a little bit averse to franchises having tackled the Dark Knight. I think that would be my guess, but maybe he returns to it. I don't know. Michael Mann wrote Heat too. It could happen. I would love to Inception your ass. This is a novel, like an Inception novel.

Like, oh, I was going to say it starts backwards and goes to the middle, but then I was thinking of Tenet. I can't get these starts backwards and goes to the middle, but then I was thinking of Tenet. I can't get these things going. Does the top cap spitting in Tenet? I don't remember what happened. This dude is obsessed with time. Has anyone noticed that? Christopher Nolan is crazy about time.

Cinema of time, like how about that? How about it? I would make a YouTube video called that. I don't know what would happen in the video, but I would title it that. If Christopher Hohemade, like a movie that was just called Time, I would be there, you'd be there. Oh my God, like finally.

Make subtext text already. Tell me what the fucking movie's about. Mitch, I know you got a drop for us. You know, I wish I could ten it back to 2015. When did we say the podcast started? Sorry, 2015, yeah. Just fucking walk away. Did not do it.

What do you think your life would look like? There'd be so much stuff that you'd have to do. So many turds would go up into your butt. You think about that? Yeah, it's kind of a ten tenant. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I mean, that's the first thing when I think of like tenant as a verb.

It's just all turd based. I mean, like in that world, like a turd would go in your butt. If we were in times going backwards, yeah. That's the thing that would happen. And food would come out of your mouth and be fully formed. Yeah. Is that even the concept of Tenet?

Like, is it the time? I truly don't know. And I saw the movie. I just can't, like... I saw Tenet in a theater when it came out. Yeah. Unmasked pointedly. Like laughing, like, yeah, like unmasked.

I went down, I flew back to Massachusetts to live there basically for a year with my mom. And very out of character. And, you know, COVID numbers rise and, you know, we talk about that often. Like, then they were falling in Massachusetts or they didn't care as much. But we, me and a few buddies, it was for my birthday, we went down there, I rented out a theater. I remember you telling me about this. It was like six or seven of us.

It's a really fun thing to do. Six or seven of us in a theater. It was a great, it was like a great day. And it felt like, and then the winter came and it was just a nightmare again. But, Tenet, I enjoyed it because I got to see a movie in a theater. There is no scene spoiler alert where a turd goes into a butt and turns into food. Right. Which I would be heavily memed if it existed. Yeah. Oh, they would go crazy with the memes. You imagine?

Even probably Trump would even, you know, it's funny. I saw, I didn't want to get into politics. Are you sure? Usually goes great for us. Ha ha ha. Or the yellow dust for not getting into politics. Yeah, right, yeah. That happens too.

Yeah. They think we're stupid and they expect us to also be smart. Yes. Combination, you guys are the dumbest motherfuckers in the world, but also you should have perfectly crafted takes on nuanced aspects of geopolitics. Maybe we just want to talk about fucking a cheesy gordita crunch.

Maybe we just want to talk about a turd going back in your butt. All right? With that? Yeah, but your opinions are all pretty solid on that topic. Those fucking redditors, turds going into their mouth. Fucking turd eaters. You can see the meme now. It's like, me, Trump's lies.

I don't, yeah. It was just funny. I was just thinking of like Bernie, like Bernie, there was a Bernie Sanders Tweet I saw the other day and I was like, remember everyone was like this guy, like, like Biden and Trump are all but like this guy's too old. Right. Seems the most say he's like the most normal of the three of them. What are you gonna do? Well, you're what do you mean? What do you mean? I mean, I agree with you. What are you gonna do? I? Saw you were wrong auntie Marsha Yell at your aunt the podcast. You're not the fuck any Marsha. What are you doing?

Auntie Marsha Who is this? I think it's Mitch's aunt Right yeah, you're saying that very confidently for Dimasha get it together. I like Bernie. She likes Biden. I was a Bernie. I was a Bernie bro Yeah, is that not cool to say you're a Bernie bro. No, I think it is cool to say you're a very claim it It's like yeah,anky doodle. Yeah. We might reclaim red hat. We might reclaim red hats.

Doe Boys red hat? With Doe Boys red hat, we were looking at Doe Boys merch and there was a red hat. Man, this looks like a little... Yeah, it's kind of cool. It is kind of... It did look kind of cool, but we can't... It's hard to do it. Well, what would be your hilarious take on Make make America great again for a dough boys merch?

Make tears go in your butt again No, I think it would be a dough boys logo, but just a red hat like it would be like You know would be disconnected from the at the magus or a certain different different font Maybe slightly different colorway forests, you know forest wears the red hat Forest wears the red hat. Mitch, that's true. And he probably, as a guy from Alabama, had great politics.

Forest, that forest. That's a really, 10 seconds I swear to God. I was just thinking it was another like Andy Masha type character. We're talking the Farris. Our Farris. Yeah, our Farris. I do have an uncle for us though.

Lovely man. Very funny guy. Farris wears that red hat. Yeah. I think that his prophets were probably pretty good. He saw, you know, he was there for a lot of... He's like the sort of... He's a common sense centrist, I feel like.

Just like, why can't both sides just get together? You know, like, he'd be that kind of guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. As far as what do you think of Israel and Palestine? I have to pee. You know, that's... He has to pee.

That's funny. He likes that. That's what we're like. That's what you... That's like the dough boys take. That's the level of disloyce here. You should expect no more. What do you think about the upcoming election?

I have to pay. There we go. Fuck. How to hold to Spoon Nation. And here is a little drop. Mitch and Weigur shouldn't have done a forest gump impression. Problematic to make fun of forest gump.

Shrimp souffle. Now I'm doing fucking bubblegum. Which went into bubblegum bubble, that was worse. Okay, here's a drop. It's kebab, the most fun food word to say. Kebab. Kebab. Kebab. It's very fun.

Kebab. It's very, very fun. A bop. It's very very friggin. A bop. A bop. A bop. A bop. A bop. A bop.

A bop. A bop. A bop. A bop. A bop. of you like what dance looking for romance Barbara Ann take a chance Barbara Ann it's a hard song to sing this is a bitch call the beach boys out of the pet sounds animal I know my mom loves the Beach Boys and she would have been mad at me if she heard it ba ba ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann

wow it is funny that after we were like yes we might like keep clips short 15 Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob- using, you know, infringing on IP on the podcast. And it feels like Drop King who's picking these drops is like openly spiting us. Look, I love that. So I mean, it's a great song, but he's like, yeah, let's pick a Beach Boys master recording. I bet they're not litigious. I mean, I think I like any drop that just reminds I'm like, oh, yeah, I like that song. Yeah, great song. Yeah. It reminds you of the minions a little bit too, I'm sure is probably. 100 percent. But they're doing ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, na, na. Yeah. All right. Yeah, it reminds you of the Minions a little bit too, I'm sure, is probably a point.

100%. But they're doing ba ba ba ba na na. Yeah, all right, of course. Missed opportunity. I think the kabab, but I will say that is one of my favorite takes I've had in the podcast for a while. Kabab is one of the most fun words to say as far as foods go. Kabab.

What do you think about when people say kebab? Kebab? Yeah, like it's very British I feel like. I guess it's okay. I guess I don't mind it. If they're British. Kebab. Yeah, kebab. We're creating not a curve.

Kebab sounds a little like the bowls. Kebab. Kebab. Kebab. Kebab. But we're having fun. This is fun. It is. It's a fun. I can't, the email's not loading.

Okay. Want me to read it? Uh, yes. Emma, would. Want me to read it? Yes, Emma, would you mind reading it? Yes, it says, hi, dough boys. I made this drop because your recent enjoyment of the word kebab reminded me of the Beach Boys song, Barbara Ann, I'll throw in Edamame and Falafel

as other fun words to say. Thanks Dan, F in Arlington, Virginia. Dan F, thank you Dan. Edamame, pretty fun, thanks Dan. That was good. Dan. Fal Thank you, Dan. Edamame. Pretty fun. Thanks, Dan. That was good. Dan. Falafel, also good.

Falafel. We have Falafel to talk about today. Oh, we got some Falafel to talk about. Now, was it fun? I don't know about that. Was it fun or to arrive at another thing that's on the podcast, do you feel awful? I feel like a turd went back. You should have played Joke later. Damn it.

I'm sitting on that one. Sorry. I'm very sorry. We'll let that out. Our guest today, a TV writer from the new series Shogun, coming February 27th at FX in Hulu. Very excited to have Emily Ishida here. Emily, thanks so much for joining us. Oh my God, thank you so much for having me.

Too much time has passed with us not having you on the podcast. I'm glad we could resolve this. I feel resolved. I'm, yeah, very excited to be here and very sorry about my choice of restaurant. This is great. We're gonna have a ton to talk about. Before we get into Whole Foods,

our revisit to Whole Foods and our first visit to the Whole Foods hot bar, which was defunct out of commission last time because of deep pandemic last time we were at Whole Foods during friendly green grocery spoon man's grocery store month. Yeah, code numbers were rising then. Are they rising now? Probably. Probably. I guess we're like working our way out of winter a little bit. Oh, it's February. So I guess we're in the, you know, we're in winter. Yeah, we're in winter. Yeah. Is that how the season's neatly divided into three month spans?

April's spring, right? April showers bring May flowers. April is solidly spring. March is mostly winter deceptively, even though we think of it as spring months. Yeah, breaking out of it a little bit. But we also think of December as winter. And it's mostly fall.

It lies December, you know, you can remember that way. It's true, it's a good demonic. December, is it December or cold month? December, yeah, yeah. Right. And then also it's November or cold month? November, yeah, it's kinda cold. It's true.

Is October or cold month? October, yeah, it kinda is a little bit cold. February. February is also cold, that's very cold. Here's where you get into trouble. September, yeah, I guess September is's very cold. Here's where you get into trouble. September, yeah, I guess September is kind of cold too. That's where you get into trouble, because September is oftentimes very hot.

At least the beginning of it. Hoggest. Hot. This is like a fail proof mnemonic. I hate that. Jalice, the diazle sizzle to it. The silent S in July. July, high temperature. June.

June, woohoo. June, yeah. That's like. Ah, June, yeah. June, that's true. June. We got it sorted. So it's kind of December, part of December, into part of March is winter. Obviously we're in the Northern Hemisphere.

Is that sort of thing of like? Yeah, we're really revealing our Northern Hemisphere privilege right now. Well, it is that sort of thing of when people are like, oh, like when you go on a date and like you start talking about the weather or if you're like talking to somebody you start talking about the weather,

we're podcasts and we're breaking down months in weather. Probably a bad sign is what I'm saying, right? I think we're thriving right now. I think this is great. This is what we do. What's your favorite of all those months? I'm an October guy, but I was born in October. Yeah, this is a good question. October is a good month.

I have- It's used to start to cool down in October in LA now. Is this my fault? No, absolutely. This is how it always is. Just worried. I'm like, I'm so excited to be here. And then it was like the conversation just goes.

No, Emma and Casey over there there being like this is a good one What's your month, hey, let me hear your month, okay I and I want our guests to answer too, but I like I have what's your month naturally I think I think part of it is you have to exclude your birthday month because that biases things a little bit Even though I'm not a big birthday guy still I just have a lot of fondness for August because it's my birthday But if I actually think about it intellectually oftentimes very hot your birthday month Just like it just like your birthday here the negatives oftentimes very hot and also You're about to go back to school and so it's kind of the end of summer

Which is a little less August straight up sucks Yes, maybe not the best month., which is a little bit less fun. I'll be real with you, August straight up sucks. Yeah, it's maybe not the best month. No, you got a shit month, dude. I think maybe, and the other thing too, you're about to go back to school, but my birthday August 28th. Yeah, you got the Sunday, you got the Sunday of months. But you don't get the school birthday,

so you don't get everyone giving you cake and singing happy birthday to you in class. You get the one, like, and here's the summer birthday day when they celebrate every month sucks. I'm gonna stop you right there, dude, for a dude who never had not everyone's fucking giving you cake on your birthday. What the hell are you talking about? Doesn't that happen at school? I mean you get sometimes you get cupcakes or egg cakes. That's what I'm talking about. There are like 12 students giving you cake.

Well I know but the idea of the class. In your fucking dream. Like your teacher is up there and your teacher's like, you know, Mr. Martinez is like, hey, let's sing happy birthday to Nicholas and let's give Nicholas a cupcake. Should we? This is such a specific fantasy. I was gonna say.

See, we also bleep out Mr. Martinez. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. He's a made up guy. He is a made up guy. I mean, I feel like you had to bring your own treats if it was your birthday, which was very, I find that to be very stressful. Nobody's gonna make cupcakes for somebody else

for their birthday, but if it's your birthday, then it's your day to be like, hey, everybody celebrate me. Here's a, you know, out of the box, sheet cake that my mom made, cut up into squares, and you know, everybody like me, please. And if it's got peanut products in it, but you can't have it with Brian Holt in the room. Miss Galaro's gonna rip into you. Yeah, that's a whole thing

Is there a More scolaro's gonna fucking go nuts on you or Brandon Owens is in the room I see I was thinking mr. Kepke is gonna go nuts imagine fucking Holt in in Owens in the same room. Oh my god the two of them together See I was even you were talking about August is when you have to go back to school It was like since when like who among us is going back to LA bullshit But then yeah, but then I was like it seems like this is very recent for you guys Speaking at a turn, I don't know but you know you're kind of doing a danger field thing We're we're going back to school for now, and then we're gonna meet Wally sparks in a few So maybe speaking out of turn, I don't know. But you and I are kind of doing a Dangerfield thing. Mm-hmm.

We're going back to school for now, and then we're going to meet Wally Sparks and a few. Yeah, it's kind of like a back-to-school Dangerfield thing, times Billy Madison. Yeah. We're going to have spinny hats and be in elementary school, is what I was trying to say. Pretty soon we'll be the fourth dinner

of Forgotten About directed DVD Rodney Dangerfield movie. Maybe his last film that I owned. So. So OK, wait, wait, wait, I have an answer. My favorite month of that. Favorite month, I think it's May because you get NBA Finals, usually slotting right in there. You get summer movies and you get the start of the summer season, so you're out of school, or you're about to be out of school. You're about to be out of school.

June was for me was so much out of school. Yeah, June is, I mean, June is better, but I think May has like a lot of, a lot to it. Emily, do you have a favorite month? I would agree with you on May. It's a lot of excitement then. Yeah, it is the getting out of school thing, but it's just like, I don't know,

depending on where you were in the country, it's like the first month where it actually is warm. I feel like April usually still kind of getting out of winter. Actually, I don't know. I'm just speaking for Midwestern people now that is probably not a California experience or New England, in case maybe. But yeah, May, and then I don't know, if can I pick my birthday month? October, I think is great. I love October. It's a good month. Yeah. It's nice and crispy.

Oh shit, I tried to get the guess of high five, she didn't see it. Um. I'm not even if I had seen it, I don't know how it would have worked. I feel like it would have been a bigger problem. Yeah, no, I'm sorry, I wanted to try to do it, but October is my birthday month as well.

October six. We can do this side. October six for me. Hey, first. Oh, all right. Your neighbor is birthday of yours. Your neighbor snuck in there. Yeah, we. Oh, all right. Your neighbor is birthday- Wow, he was snuck in there.

Yeah, we're a, yeah, twin Libras over here. Emma just had a birthday. You're very, very kind. Yeah. When's your birthday again? February 9th. That's right. And then, Casey, you had a birthday fairly recently.

Yeah, January 14th. Wow. Isn't it wild when you know when people's birthdays are? Very revealing. I remember Casey's is eight days after January 6th, so I remember that specifically. Right, right. I remember at Jener season I was like,

we're gonna wrap this up. I gotta get to Casey's birthday in eight days. I didn't get to say that. Okay, so speaking of the Midwest, you are from Iowa. I am. All right, so you pitched a bunch of chain restaurants. I'm going to get to some of those in a second before we settle down to Whole Foods. But talking generally, are there any Iowa chains, either Iowa-specific or Midwest-specific

chains that you feel like you can't get out here? Yeah, definitely. I mean, I went to this place actually semi-recently, and it's like seriously nothing to write home about, but it's still one of those places that you have affection for. But our diner chain there is called Village Inn. And they might have that like, I don't know, Missouri, or you know, that kind of area of the Midwest,

but it's just a deadies, but for some reason, they're very pie-centric. They're very- Love that. That's the thing that they push. They have a different pie every month. That was something I always enjoyed a lot as a teen. It was a place, you know, you could hang out and feel cool like a late

night diner when you're growing up. So I have a lot of affection for Village Inn, but it's not like I go there a lot anymore. I would say, I mean, there is a chain that started in my hometown of Iowa City that now is, I think, multi-state called Pancheros, which is basically Chipotle, but I had it before Chipotle. And so I was very much a snob about Chipotle for a long time because it was like, it's no Pancheros. And then I recently went to Pancheros for the first time in a while. I was like, this actually is no Chipotle.

It's gone downhill. But that's, yeah, some real Iowa fresh mechs there whatever that might Bring up in your mind. I don't know have you looked up whether Panceros actually predates Chipotle or is it one of those things where you just came to it first? I think that Chipotle predates Panceros, but it was when it was like in a very very limited market I got it like maybe there were a few you know because it's a it was a McDonald's chain at first, right? McDonald's I owned first, right? McDonald's I owned, I had an ownership stake in Chipotle for a time, yeah.

Yes, yeah. So I remember it being a very small thing. Like I think I looked this up at one point because I needed to get to the bottom of it. This is, you know, what I do in my spare time. And I do, I do think that Chipotle predated it, but it was not yet. Like I highly doubt that somebody in Iowa was like on top of that. So I don't know. Do you know what else is pretty pie centric? Darren Aronofsky's filmography. Now, outside of his one film pie.

In what way is it pie centric? I'm just saying he's got that one movie pie, so it's pretty pie centric. There might have been a pie and mother, you know, there're gonna party. Yeah, somebody might have brought a pie to that party Does the whale eat a pie the whale probably I mean the way to pie the whale likes pie Yeah, there's no doubt that the whale likes imagine if there's a post-credits scene the whale doesn't like pie No, thank you. What the fuck you talking about whale? You need the fucking pie. I Jason Biggs is like I'll take that You know what? Top stops. I was gonna say

I should His filmography is probably more pie centric. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. One, two, three, two. Wait, American Pie, American Pie II, American Wedding, is that three? Yes. And the American reunion. I mean, there's pie in all of them. And then, wasn't there, there were weird like American Pie movies that I feel like didn't come out in the States.

It's a wild cinematic universe. So there's like all these like American pie presents, which is like its own like kind of label. And there's a bunch of those that all- I got a picture for you. Yeah. Young Eugene Levy pie verse. That's a great idea.

It's, you know, it's the, you know, 60s, you know, and they're just starting to fuckbys. Yeah, that's the thing like- American pie origin. If you reboot that now though, is it like a thing you do? Because you remember the Simpsons infamously rebooted Margin Homer's age and they were like, okay, now they grew up during the Grunge era.

So you're saying like make Jim's dad like grow up in the 90s? Would you do that or would you just be like, Jason Biggs is now the age where we can show, like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know what the math is you would do there. Exactly. How do you de-age Eugene Levy no matter what with the digital effects.

And then you have Jason Bigs play his dad. Yes, I think that's perfect. That's great. I love that. I think that's great. I'm gonna buy this one in the room. Okay, so can I ask you about another Iowa chain? Sure.

Which I've never had and I'm fascinated by and we talked about doing for October blessed, our month of religious theme chain restaurants. Pizza Ranch. Yes, Pizza Ranch. I have maybe had Pizza Ranch once in my life. I can't speak to it too much, but yeah, I do know that it is very heavily Christian.

I thought you were gonna ask about Taco Johns, which is, I actually had somewhat recently, and it was, I mean, I knew this before, I hadn't had in a while. It is truly one of the worst things ever put on this earth. Did we give Taco John's in Minnesota? We gave someone in this room food poisoning.

Oh, wow, okay. And we got food poisoning. Thank you very much, Taco John's. What do you think did it? I don't know, because I really only had the fried chicken tacos, and had two of them and I only ate one of them and then someone else ate the other one and I was the only one that got sick.

So I don't know if it was some like weird lettuce or the chicken in mine. I think it's the sauce, maybe there's like that creamy sauce. That's always what gets you. Yeah, it could be that. It was not a good time. Potato Olay's innocent. Like that's the only thing.

Potato Olay's are great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Worth going just to try that as like a local food stuff. But yeah, it's just remarkably bad. I'm almost proud of how bad Taco John is. It's incredible. We went, so when we do our tour,

and we've done our live shows, we went on tour last year and we went to Minneapolis. I thought that was actually a really fun show. It was one of the shows I liked on the tour. We went to that show. How do you feel? Did you feel great about fun show. It was one of the shows I liked on the tour. We went to that show. How do you feel? Did you feel great about that tour? It's one of the shows I liked on the tour.

I liked that one. I thought that one was good. What, Minnesota? Yeah. Personally, really favorite. They were so drunk. Do you remember how drunk they were? Yeah, that's why I went pretty well.

I'm a Western people. Yeah. No, they were absolutely hammered. Yeah, loaded. But I thought that show was pretty good. And we went to Taco John's, and it was a thing like, people demanded we go there.

They're like, if you come to Minneapolis, you have to cover Taco John's. And so we did it. And then we were like- You remember my cousin John and Leah after the show? That's true, we met your cousin John. And then we were like asking the audience- I got a cousin John, that's funny.

I should have brought that up on the fucking show. You didn't? No, but I'm bringing up now. I'm milking it for all it's worth. When he eats tacos, you can call him Taco John. Taco John. So we went to Taco John's, not with your cousin, John, but he exists.

We went to Taco John's and we were like, we were asking, it was like, why did you want us to review this? This place sucks. And the crowd was like, we know., it was like, why did you want us to review this? This place sucks. And the crowd was like, we know. Yeah, they knew it. It was the same sort of thing. It was a Midwestern pride in how shitty this chain was

and they insisted we experience it along with them. Taco John's straight to the hotel, John's. That's a toilet, right? Yeah. Yeah. But why is it a hotel? Like is it, is it, wait, I've never heard that before. I know that a John is a toilet, but why is it a hotel?

I was saying we went back to the hotel and we were like, shit, basically. I was just thinking like you could refer to the hotel John is like, you know what I'm saying? Like I had to make a trip to the hotel John to stay and I felt. Sounds like a stud hotel John. It sounds like it seems like a hunky guy in my head.

Like a jiggalo? Yeah, kind of seems like a jiggalo. Now I forget, did we, did we tenant the food, do we tenant the taco John before we ate it? Because it would make sense if it came from, it would turn from his shit into food and then we ate it. That would make sense. As opposed to them selling that to us for money.

It's pretty bad. Okay, but pizza ranch you've only had once. My understanding is it's kind of like, it seems like a CC's, like it's not like a great quality pizza. It's like kind of shitty. I don't know if you have any memory of it. As I recall, it's like the crust is like white.

Like it's like, it's just one of these like very pale floppy pizzas. And it's got like an old West theme? Am I wrong about that? Something like that. Yeah, again, so I don't eat cheese or dairy anymore, so I haven't been to a pizza ranch in ages, but I think so.

Like we have a couple in Iowa City, I think, and that's how it looks from the outside at least. It's like old West pizza, but also Christian. Yeah, yeah. I think you could probably get like a hamburger pizza there, which is like a very Midwest thing. Right. It sounds like you could, it sounds like you're almost describing our show.

Heavy Christian, crusty white. Floppy white. Floppy white. OK, I want to talk on some of the other chains that you pitched. Because some of these I'm familiar with, some of these I'm less familiar with. So you mentioned Cracker Barrel and Ikea and Gyu Kaku, which we've all touched on. I think we've reviewed Cracker Barrel and Ikea.

I did not realize Gyu Kaku was national, actually. Gyu Kaku is international. That's wild. It is everywhere, yeah. But a couple of war you mentioned, Marugame Udon. Yeah. Is that a, that I assume is an international chain? Yeah, it is.

They have one downtown here. And I think, I think they have some on the East Coast. And then there are multiple places in Japan as well. And I've been to it both in Japan and here as well. Or how do they compare? I mean, I just, I don't know. There's something like you're just in the mood for, I'm in the mood for Udon more in Japan than I am here.

So, you know, it kind of felt like, oh, I'm going to, I want to try this thing. I'm not necessarily in the mood for big, like heavy noodles, but it was good. I mean, it's really good. It's very, very fresh. Like the way they have it configured is great. But yeah, I think I probably enjoyed it more

than the one I went to in Japan, but yeah. Okay, here's another one. Bass Pro Shop, which I did not know had restaurants. They have multiple restaurants. Okay, so I've never been, but I was just really, I was really trying to think of things that I could also potentially go to in Iowa, or at least in the Midwest.

So I was just like kind of thinking of things that would be also out here, but I think the restaurant concept for Bass Pro Shops, wherever it is with the Inland Empire is different than like what you would go to in Minnesota or whatever. They have like, I think it's like an island type thing in the California ones. Islamorada fish company or something in Rancho Cucamonga? Yes. That's all right. Yeah. I can't I can't remember

I know I've never been there. That was just a I just thought that that would be a an interesting dining experience that I would be Fascinated to the Jurassic Park Island. What was what is it? It's Islamorada fish company? It's like I think is how you say it, Isla Marada. Oh, Isla Marada, I'm sorry. I thought it was an Isla Nubar, is that? For the Bass Pro Shop audience, like that I think would be a tough sell. We kind of have the, we have a Bass Pro type audience, I would say.

Did you see the video of, did you see the video of the guy? I got tagged into a bunch because the guy basically had no dick. Yeah. But did you see the video of the guy jumping into like the big tank at basketball shops? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, he was wild. Yeah, yeah. He's like a guy who kind of is like maybe is having going through some mental distress.

Sure. And I mean, yeah, he of course is. And then he jumps in like the big, which I never even knew Bass Pro Shops were like that big. It's crazy. It's like Disneyland. It's like, you know, you could go and try to catch a gate or it feels like going to Pirates of the Caribbean or something.

Wow, wow. Very themy inside. Was that like a thing you did as a kid? Like just go to the shop and walk around? No, I haven't spent that much time. I went to the Bass Pro Shop in Memphis when I was driving across the country last time and that's like the one in the pyramid. Yes, right.

And I just had to see it. Like, it was so amazing. But I've maybe been to like one other than that. I think it was more like Cabela's around where I was growing up. That was the big outdoorsy shop. Yeah. Pirates of the Caribbean, is that something you did as a kid? Did you make the question?

Yeah, yeah. Love that. I think I went to Disneyland the first time when I was five years old. That one really left an impression on me because skeletons were the scariest thing to me, but I remember enjoying it. They're still pretty scary.

They're pretty scary. They are scary. Yeah. Can I ask you again, and... Skeletons aren't that easy. Everyone has one. You know, like I think everyone, most things have. Oh, I got skeletons.

Yeah, we don't want to hear about it. I don't want an inception in your head to see what's going on in there. Everyone's got them. Everyone's got them. Everyone's got one. I think if you have more, if you have them, then that's the problem.

That's scary if you have them. But if you see one outside of a body, all of a sudden it goes, eh, then you're like, oh my god. It's both opened. I think that's one outside of a body, you know, all of a sudden it goes, eh, you know, then you're like, oh my God. Yeah. It's mouth opened or you know, you know, I think that's the fear of a skeleton if you see it that it's mouth is gonna open. Yeah.

And it's teeth are, you know, it's got its teeth all bared. It reminds you of your own mortality. It's, you know, big, heavy stuff. Hope you have a bludgeoning weapon because they got resistance to slashing. They got resistance to piercing. Oh yeah. Hopefully something that deals some radiant damage.

Ideally, you've got to cleric in your party. Yeah, they can. They can reconstitute, depends on the skill level. I can help you out here. He is a loser. He's been playing Baldur's Gate for a very long time. And this is like. I was wondering if this was Zelda or like, yeah,

what game we were talking about here. That's not Zelda. talking about I Was joking, but I shouldn't there being a guy, but I was being a I mean they just have a different name and Zelda No, he's right. Wait, what? Is it? Okay, I'm just not gonna... We don't have to get into the skeletons of Zelda, but their...

Baldur's Gate and Zelda are quite different. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was playing a character there. I'm not usually that bad. I feel bad. I thought it was fine. It's a character. I mean, the character was just kind of me turned up a little bit, I guess. I think anytime anyone gets bad at us, we just say character is a character. Character.

Character. Frumptured wooden character. Charity, parody. Okay. Hide-A-Low hot pot. Oh yeah, yeah. 30, 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30.

30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30.

30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30.

30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. 30. Yeah, it's just a big kind of huge hot pot place. It's very, they have their whole like how you get your toppings and stuff and how you order down to like a science. They have people doing the noodle polling, like twirling around in the restaurant. It's very, I think it's fun that like Dintai Fung and places like that and like the hot,

cause that's in the West, what's it called? The Century City Mall. Yes. With like Italy. Yeah. And that's so like, I don't know. I was just thinking about how those are the equivalent of Cheesecake Factory.

Like, I think they've really supplanted Cheesecake Factory now, it's like the big mall restaurant that you go to, and it's like, I'm all for it. They're great places. 100% no, yeah. Cheesecake Factory for the first, when we decided to make this bad podcast. That's true, when we were deciding

on the concept of the show. Yeah. Like, hey, how about this? This is the show. Yeah. I mean, you could just do a podcast about Cheesecake Factory at least for a year. You're 100% right.

You could do every Cheesecake Factory menu item. Oh my God, that's so... That would actually kill you faster, I think than anything you guys have done up to this point. That sounds awful. I'm sorry I even like breathed it into the air. Stelfos, right? Stelfos. I forgot already. Stelfos. Stelfos. There there those are the skeletons. There are the skeletons from Link Battles. Yes, Link Battle.

Skeletons and Link battles. Yes, Link battles. I have never even played Baldur's Gate 3, which Weigar is playing. I don't even know if the Skeletons are. You'd love it, but the problem is it would take over your life. Yeah, it seems like you've put like 300 hours into it. I just cussed at 300 hours, yeah. Is that one of those old PC games? Like, do you have to use an old computer to play that?

Well, Baldur's Gate 1 and 2 are like old PC games. Baldur's Gate 3 is out now for modern hardware, so you can play it on console if you want. You can play it on PC. It just doesn't make sense to me. What do you mean? It's like, like, we gotta like schedule and do this. Yeah.

And I don't like touring. I don't like doing this. And you put 300 fucking hours into Baldur's Gate. That's what I like doing. That's fun for me. The guy works as much as Punxsutawney Phil over here. He works fucking... Oh my God, that was such a sick burn.

That was amazing. That was amazing. Him and Punxsutawney Phil have the same fucking work schedule and he's still as upset about it, but it's 300 hours into Baldur's Gate. Yeah, having fun, that's what I want to do fucking work schedule and he's still as upset about it but it's 300 hours of Baldur's Gate? Yeah, having fun, that's what I want to do with my life. That's enjoyable to me. I'm with Mitch, man.

I do not understand how you gamer people do that. Like, it's just so much time and it's like a lot of money too, I feel like. Well, I mean, this game doesn't have microtransactions or anything. Pay one flat fee and then you're set. Sorry, sorry, Stan cracked it. Careful now. This is like going into, give me some dungeon from Baldur's Gate 3. Um, Lorokin's Tower? Okay. Yeah, it's like going into Lorokin's Tower.

It's not, I mean, that's a, it's not that big of a dungeon. It's more like a few encounters, but there's some stuff going on there. Are there dungeons proper? There are yeah. It's like the gauntlet of Char about to step into here. I can appreciate that. No, Tori, it's your buddy. Instead, I'm going to put 500 hours at a boulders gate.

I probably will Mitch all the time. My fucking I know you will. I'm happy for you. You want for me? I'm happy for you. No, I like the schedule. I like to get the schedule down so we can all plan what we're doing.

The scheduling is good. We don't have our lives. It's good that we have a regular time to record the podcast. This is helpful. Scheduling is good. It's easy for you. Scheduling is good.

Scheduling is good. Scheduling is good. Glad we're on the same page here. Thanks for making time for me. Okay, hold on. One more, which this one I was not familiar with. I think is another diner, Country Kitchen. Oh, yeah.

I mean, that's like one that I just encounter a lot. I drive across the country quite a bit lately just because of the two places that I've been living in. So that's just one that sometimes you're in a town and that is the only thing to eat. And it's just again, like a shitty diner. It's like a biscuits and gravy type place. You're driving back and forth between Iowa and Los Angeles. Yeah.

What's the route you take? What highway you take? I've done a lot of different ones. The last time I went, I mostly took, what was it? I was I-40? I can't remember. Anyway, I went to Dallas from LA.

So I went through like Arizona and New Mexico and then yeah, into Dallas. And then I went up through Memphis. And that was like, I wasn't in a big rush. And I wanted, I wanted to see a friend in Dallas. And then I wanted to go to Memphis because I'd never been to Memphis. So that was, that was the reasoning behind that.

But the fastest way is to go like down through Colorado, which is like very much not fun. But I don't know. Mount driving makes me mess. Oh, I get it. Yeah, Mount driving is scenic, but I get nauseated. Yeah, that's beautiful. That route you take?

That's my answer when people ask how old I am. Wait, what? I-40. I-40. That's cool. I forgot what I was talking about. Sorry, you're talking about car rat. I'm done, I'm done.

We get it. We're surprises hasn't happened honestly. Do you have a, like, okay, when you're doing these long road trips, which always stress me out, I don't like doing them, I don't like driving in general, where do you, like, are you a frequent stopper or are you someone who, I guess it probably depends on what you're doing on a particular trip, but do you like to like, like, I'm going to make this number of hours per day and this number of miles? Yeah, I usually have the place that I'm trying to get to each day. So I, and I'll like reserve my motel or hotel or whatever ahead of time so that I'm motivated to get there. But I don't know, I'm trying lately to do more sort of stopping and smell on the flowers. Sure. Because the first time I did a big cross country trip recently, it was like in the middle of

the pandemic, like Walmitch was just enjoying himself at Tenet without a map. I was just terrified driving through like the item across like the South because I had never been that way. And I mean, I did not get out of like, I was just trying to get out of the cars as well as possible Especially once you get into real like no mask territory But yeah, so I'm that was how I kind of did the first couple trips and now I'm like, you know It's okay like I just had that in my head that like I just pedaled to the metal just get across the country But now I'm trying to like enjoy it more. We almost renamed Doughboys no mask territory

during the, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there a spot on your route where you're like, hey, here's the first In-N-Out, or is there like a thing that's like,

is there like a chain or something like that? We were like, oh my God, I can go here. Oh, Bucky's.. Or Buckeys. Oh, Buckeys. Yeah, Buckeys I was introduced to the first, yeah, that first road trip through I-10. And yeah, got it, got a hand it to Texas for at least one thing. But yeah, Buckeys is amazing. Just all the jerky, just like, like, rows and rows of beef jerky.

I'm not even like that, but she have a beef jerky person, but it's just impressive There's a department store in Berlin that my friend lives next to that I'll like go to a lot and they have apparently like the longest Like they have the most like they have like the most maybe like kilometers or something of sausage And the food department of this and that's impressive to me too. So, seeing all that. All right, maybe Dubois will go international after all. Maybe. It was really a market there.

But yeah, so any, for some reason, even though I'm very middling on my own meat eating habits, like whenever I see a vast quantity somewhere, I'm very impressed. I'm like, I'm just like, wow, this is truly America. But yeah, that place is cool. I like, I mean, once you get into, what am I thinking of?

Not Chick-fil-A, I'm thinking of some kind of fried chicken situation. Rizin' Canes? Yeah, yeah, well we have, do we have Rizin' Canes here now? We do now, we do now. Yeah, we have them in Iowa now, do we have Raising Canes here now? We do now. Okay, yeah, we have them in Iowa now. That's somewhat recent,

but that's always very exciting once you can get that. I'm a big fan of bone jangles. My mom used to live in North Carolina, so I was like driving up there, and once you get around there, that's real good. I love a chicken biscuit. That's, yeah, that's something you really can't get so much. Here, even in Iowa, it's just not really the't get so much here, even in Iowa.

It's just not really the spot for it generally. Okay, we were talking about your... I was going to say, well, never mind. Well, now you got to say it. In Hollywood, we've gone from citizen cane to raising canes. I mean, come on. Am I right? You're right, Mitch.

I can't argue with you. Geez. I was just like bracing for him Wigs we've all been there rummaging through pipes dodging man-eating Venus fly traps grabbing up coins fighting hammer-slinging turtles and stumbling upon polka-dotted mushrooms eating them turning into giants and going on full-blown rampages Schedule 35 is kind of like a certain well-known plumbers mushroom, but for your mind. Oh Interesting schedule 35 sends precisely measured microdoses of psilocybin that you can take daily to enhance your day without seeing well, man-eating Venus fly traps. An emerging movement around psilocybin is proven to help

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And butter. And butter, yeah. I love... This is the thing that always confuses people because I'm such a fan of butter. I love it. I love butter and eggs. But yeah, it's just cheese stuff. I love it. I love butter and eggs. Butter rocks. But, yeah, it's just cheese stuff.

So it has nothing to do with animal rights. I could give a fuck, honestly. But, no, no, I love animal stuff. Jemmy just covered her head with her paws. Oh, she just opened her eyes. She looks so tragic right now. She was sleeping, and then she heard me say that, and now I have an end of this.

She said, she's playing it up. She heard you say me, and she said that and now I have an end of this. She said she's playing it up. She heard you say me and she said I'm hungry. Acres of sausage. Yeah, no, but I uh, what was I saying? Oh yeah, no, so it's not a it's not a animal rights thing. It's just truly my diet and what I can deal with and what makes me feel good. So yeah, so no, no cheese, no like pizza as we'll discuss is sort of a rare treat makes me feel good. So yeah. So no cheese, no like pizza, as we'll discuss, is sort of a rare treat for me.

Sometimes it's not a treat at all, depending on the quality of the vegan pizza somewhere. But that's always very exciting for me. I feel like I have to try that wherever I am. You pulled something with your pizza today that I think I have to come clean about it. What? You put, didn't you put your pizza in the hot pack?

I did, I did. I mean, I could not go to Whole Foods and not kind of do some sort of theft. Like... If you wouldn't mind, Nick and I kind of insist upon this, just apologizing to Mr. Bezos on the podcast. Where is he? Can I just look right into the camera? Mr. Bezos on the podcast. Where is he? Can I just look right into the camera? Mr. Bezos, I accept that my invitation to the Moon colony has been ascended. Oh, no.

But you know what? It was worth it. You're going to miss out on like a bunch of 60 year olds with like muscle implants on the moon. I cannot think of a more ethical crime than stealing from Whole Foods. Oh yeah. There's just like there's nothing more defensible really. Yeah. I'm happy to admit to my many, many crimes against Whole Foods over the years.

It's fine. Well, I was going to say is that even why they're just like doing the thing where it's like you take it and then you get charged when you leave, you know what I mean? over the years, it's fine. Well, I was gonna say, is that even why they're just like doing the thing where it's like, you take it and then you get charged when you leave, you know what I mean? Like it feels like the sort of thing of like, people just do that at Whole Foods anyways that maybe they're just like, yeah, we might as well fucking, you know, just charge people as they walk out the door with their items. Well, it feels like that didn't take off as much as I thought it would in the last couple

of years. Yeah, I mean, like they've got all sorts of shit now, like you can pay with your palm, which feels dystopian, and don't know how that works exactly. But going back to Amazon's acquisition of Whole Foods, that was all about, they were going to start building like these big, you know, refrigerated warehouses for their grocery delivery. And they realized it was easier for both their pickers

and for their inventory to just have them be stored. So they just bought an existing grocery chain, because it was the easier way to have that be a distribution channel for Amazon Fresh, which I don't know if Amazon Fresh still exists or if it's just been folded into their prime service in general. But it's like, that was their whole thing. Their whole thing wasn't like, we care about having, you know, customer facing retail. It was just like, this is the easier way to have this, our delivery service. Yeah, exactly, have that infrastructure there.

And so- They're gonna read your palms? Yeah, you didn't see that at the pay station, yeah. Oh, wait, today? You can pay with your palm. If you are willing to donate your biometric data to Whole Foods, you can just get there through there so quickly and seamlessly

and it's absolutely worth it. I'm sure. You're a lord. You can do a retinal scan, I'm sure. I feel like Doughboys listeners are gonna fucking make those things malfunction with their fucking moist, their fucking moist palms. Those palms bend.

Okay, so why Whole Foods? Because this is ultimately your decision. You're like, I want to cover Whole Foods hot bar. Yeah, I mean, well, a lot of those places I'd suggested, not all of them, but a lot of those were things I was either curious to try or knew that I liked and just thought it would be fun and knew that you guys hadn't covered before.

But this is just one that I have such a history with and such, I guess, strong opinions somehow. That's probably pretty pathetic, but I have a lot of opinions about Whole Foods over the years and very much pre, post Amazon. I don't really go to Whole Foods anymore because this is obnoxious and I don't know people on Twitter, when I was on Twitter hated me talking about this,

but I boycott Amazon, I don't know people on Twitter, when I was on Twitter hated me talking about this, but I have a boycott Amazon. I don't buy shit from Amazon. I've made a couple exceptions recently because I was like doing home stuff. But other than that, I don't do it. I don't have a prime membership. Um, and so, yeah, I try to stick to that. So I haven't really been going there post Amazon acquisition, but the salad bar was just like such a staple of my 20s. The one on Fairfax and Santa Monica

and the one at Third and Fairfax were like just really prime targets for a lot of shoplifting for me. And I, yeah, I'm like I was saying, I was like thousands of dollars, I'm sure, multiple thousands of dollars of food stolen over the years. And then stuff that you absolutely don't need like truffle oil, you know, right? Yeah, I just I had a great time there.

How to blast. I like not I like not being a pry. I don't like Amazon except for the Tomorrow War on Amazon Prime. Great movie. Yeah, check that out. But I do order stuff from Amazon, but I should not do it as much. I mean, it is the reason that like, local stores, mom and pop shops have gone away basically, right, is the fact that you can't.

Yeah, among other, I mean, it's just. Yeah, yeah, it's one of the reasons, I guess you're right. Yeah, I think that, look, Whole Foods started in Texas, it started in Austin, and it was founded in 1980 actually in Austin, as that brand, that's when that came about. There were a couple of existing natural food stores that merged to form Whole Foods.

It was acquired by Amazon in 2017, as we talked about, over 500 locations in North America and the UK. And we last reviewed it in 2020. But again, not a proper review. But I think as far as day-to-day grocery shopping, I rarely shop at Whole Foods. It's at that point where it's... What's happened is that it now occupies a part in the, in the market where it's like, there are fancier grocery stores. If you want like that, like I want to go that highfalutin artisan grocery store. You can go to like a Bristol farms or I honestly feel like Gelsons is

nicer than Whole Foods. I said this today. I said that I like Gelsons. Which is just a Southern California chain. I like the Gelsons. There's an Orzo salad or something. I like gelsons that I like better than the one I had today, but we'll get into it, but I never shopped at Whole Foods. And certainly if you want value, like a sprouts or a Trader Joe's, as far as like stuff that offer organic product, like those are better choices. Hell, I'm gonna rouse sometimes.

Sprouts is a great like alternative to Whole Foods, I think. I love sprouts. They have a lot of bulk stuff there too, which is nice. So yeah, value. I've had so many sprout sandwiches and so much sprout sushi. It's such a great lunch value. I don't like sprouts. You don't like sprouts?

No. We got to review this. I'm not saying the store sprouts. The store is fine. You don't like eating sprouts. I don't like eating sprouts. Well, it's not all they have. No, I know it's not all they have.

I didn't think. Did you know? I did, yeah. I saw a huge fucking store that said sprouts. I thought it was all sprouts. I know it's not all sprouts. Where is there one now on, is it Los Feliz Boulevard? Western.

Western, right before where it turns. I made the mistake of trying to go there like the weekend that they opened. And I was like this, I'm never gonna come here again. The parking lot is such a nightmare. Like they somehow engineered it for like all like golf carts or something is so cramped. Speaking of which, we went to the Whole Foods today

next to CVS on, what is it Griffith Park Boulevard? Yeah, this is the Silver Lake, the Silver, it's the Silver Lake, uh, Whole Foods, which used to be a Whole Foods 365 as Emma was reminding us. What the fuck was 365? It was like they're value-oriented label. Yeah, it's their Trader Joe's. Yes. And this is what I love is that the neighbors, like, were, or the residents of that part of

Silver Lake were incensed, insulted, they got a 365 as opposed to a full-fledged Whole Foods. They're like, what are we, you know, some bargain basement LA enclave. And so they slapped the regular Whole Foods onto the 365. And now it's a, but you can't, it might as well still be a regular or a 365 because they don't have the deli department. They don't have like the butcher, all that full service grocery stuff there. So I think they just did that to get them to shut up.

The same thing happened with, there was a Santa Monica one that was a 365, and they've completely deprecated the 365 brand. 365, oh, it's gone. Yeah, it's just whole foods now. Really, see there was one, when I lived in New York, there was one in Brooklyn that I went to a lot because we just want a very Central location right, but it's not good

It's a bad grocery store. No, I never it's also that sort of thing of like it's so cold like not like actually cold Temperatures, I think the temperature was fine. It's kind of like, I'd say it's kind of like October temperature, it's kind of October. But as far as the store goes, it's just like, you don't see much, it's like, it just looks like an empty store. Right, it's very wide open. I think that people like me have maybe influenced

how they lay out the stores now because there's definitely more security by the satellite bar. And it's just when it's open like that, there's less that you can get away with. I mean, I don't think that I would have very much success there when I was 22 or whatever. Well, you did it again today. Should we get into what we got, Wags? We should. So I actually did not know that we were going to go today. We ended up doing it and we ended up going in person, which I'm glad we did because I think that's so much of the experience is like you have to like, it's a buffet. You have to serve yourself.

You have to pick out what portions you want. And I, so I actually went to the former 365 in Santa Monica earlier this week on my own. The salad and hot bar is $11.99, which we'll talk about. It sounds reasonable on its face, but it adds up quick. Like it's crazy how quickly you can get to a, like a pound of salad. They weigh it, right? They weigh it, yeah.

And I do appreciate all the allergen warnings, I will say. I think they're very good about labeling things and saying what has, you know, various things that people might have aversions to or just might not be part of their diets Um, and I will also say it's generally pretty tidy. I think it's like it's it's like a pretty neat salad bars as salad bars go but what I got on on On my earlier experience this this past Tuesday, uh, you know, I I made a I made a vegan salad, a Field Greens kale, chickpeas, radishes, cucumber, scallions,

purple cabbage, vegan balsamic dressing. They had the big salt and pepper shakers with the handles there, like they have it subway, which they did not have at the Silver Lake location. I could not find them at least. They had a lot of problems with the condiments at the Silver Lake location, we'll get into that. Well, I was also part of the problem

at the condiment station, so that's the only thing. Well, we'll get to that. I also got a, I got like, so I did like a salad box. I had a small cold box and a big hot box. And then I also got a slice of pizza and a soup. So I got a, in my small cold box, I got Doma, classic chicken salad, red bliss potato salad. In my, as my soup, I got a chicken noodle soup. As in my big, my hot box, I got in chicken tendy where there were no good dip

in sauces. So I had to just use ketchup, which is- I didn't see the tenders. They didn't have them there. They had them at Santa Monica. Yeah, yeah, Santa Monica. Mac and cheese, herb roasted cauliflower and paleo friendly summer squash and red cabbage.

I also got a slice of cheese pizza. And I got something else that we'll talk about in a second, but on balance, I thought this was a really disappointing lunch. Like I don't need to go through item by item because we're gonna talk about this meal we shared, but I was like, after that experience, I was like salad bar, maybe three, three and a half forks,

cold bar, two forks. I might land to like two and a half and two and three quarters forks. So it's already like a subpar outing from Whole Foods. Today was worse. I did not like my meal today at all. There were a few elements that maybe pull out as positive, but overall, I thought this was a pretty disappointing outing.

Well, it was already after a bad start that when we arrived, Susser was there. Yeah, Susser crashed. Susser crashed our review. I will, we got a text from Amelia and Susser that said, Susser and I are in here. I was like, what the fuck is earlier lunch to get the free Whole Foods lunch.

So walking there, Suss is there. I did not get to have the hot part last time, but I didn't like Whole Foods just in general. I did a hot box and a cold box and a slice of pizza. We're talking about today. Yes. Yes, yeah. And this was my only visit. I had a slice of pizza why we're talking about today. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And this was my only my only visit

I just sliced a cheese pizza and then my hot box hat was a rice and beans the potatoes jerk chicken Mac and cheese mashed potatoes a lot of carb heavy things in there and Oh and a vegetable samosa and then the cold box was like some macaroni a couple different macaroni like three different macaroni salads bubbleganous that orzo salad dolmas and then some sort of chicken salad and then The something that we have to talk about the falafel. Oh, yeah. Yeah the cold falafel. Yeah

Oh, yeah, yeah, the cold falafel. Yeah Shit, why is the falafel in the cold case anyways? It's such a it's one of these things It's a holdover from pre the pre Amazon days and I honestly can't understand it It is just like to me It is a different food item than a falafel, but it is a it is a whole foods cold bar falafel Which is like a a fascinating like confounding food object My mom is I was saying loves them. Wow some reason she obsesses over them forever at a Whole Foods She's like, oh, this means I get to have the falafel and it's just I don't get it

I just like you've had good falafel before, mom. Like why are you, why is this special to you? But that is sort of the first, that the falafel is like the first thing I think of when I think of Whole Foods Salad Bar. That is just the marquee item to me. I thought it was so gnarly. I hated it. Yeah.

You can, I feel like it could kill you. It's so dense and dry. 100% yeah. It looked like shit. Yeah. Kind of what she did. In the moment, take me out on this fucking falafel. It was not good, but that was a low light for me. But I thought that I ate the hot,

and actually I tried some of Amelia's clam chowder, and it was actually pretty good. I thought it was decent. She was talking up that clam chowder and it was actually pretty good. I thought it was, I thought it was, I thought it was decent. She was talking up that clam chowder. I didn't try it. But even that, it was the sort of thing where I was like, this isn't like seasoned as well as it should be. Like it was like, there's not like, this should have more like salt and pepper on it.

And it doesn't, I guess you could just add it yourself. But it was just like, there should be more pepper in this. Like it should be seasoned with more pepper just in general. Sure. Um, so that was, and then all the hot food for me was like pretty bland. was just like, there should be more pepper in this, like it should be seasoned with more pepper just in general. Sure. So that was, and then all the hot food for me was like pretty bland. The chicken was okay, but like the mac and cheese

was like so bland and kind of watery. The rice and beans were like nothing. The mashed potatoes maybe were like close to good, but they were just like such boring mashed potatoes. It was all, and I was like, so, I was like, maybe the cold box will be better. And then I disliked the cold box more. I thought the cold box was,

I thought the cold stuff was pretty bad. Like that orzo saddle, like I said, I get one at Gelsons that I like so much more. There's like a lot of, like, I was just comparing it to Gelsons. I was like, I think I like Gelsons more than I like fucking Whole Foods. That's so interesting,

because I think that if like the strength there is the cold stuff and not the hot stuff. I find most of the hot stuff to be pretty unappetizing. I rarely ever go for it because also it's just hard to keep that stuff fresh and not dried out when you're looking at like a chicken thigh that's just been there. I would even say that it was pretty fresh there. Like as cold bars, hot bars go, like they have good turnover. Like all the greens look pretty healthy and stuff. But it's just, I think really hard to not have stuff

like chicken just fry out in one of those things. 100% would just sit in that steam tray. And one advantage of going on the early side, Mitch, is that we are getting pretty fresh. It was very fresh. Like it felt like everything like had just gone out like within the past half hour. Yeah.

So I'll quickly say the domas, the Bubba Ghanoush, they were like, okay. The orzo even though it's not as good as gelsons, I thought it was just fine, not great. And then the pasta salads, I just was, I was so so. What's the ceiling on a Doma. I Think they can be pretty good sometimes pretty good though, right? That's the ceiling pretty good I think I have a transcendent. Oh my god. It's pretty good. Like yeah, that's a thing

I think it's like a narrow sort of range I don't think I've ever had a Doma where I'm like that's a better Doma than most other Domas I had there and I like them okay. I'm not always in the mood for them, but usually it's just like a reliable taste in general. I thought they were like pretty, they were like okay to fine. Like I didn't, none of it blew me away. Like even the bubble ganache, which I was like,

it's hard to, I mean, I guess you can make a bad bubble ganache, but it was like, it was fine. None of it, none of it was like a thing where I was like, this tastes great, I really like this. The cheese pizza honestly was my favorite thing. So I'm surprised by that, because I got the cheese pizza earlier this week and I thought it was actively bad.

It was bad. I was like, the cheese pizza I got on Tuesday was like sub-711 tier. But I did get the margarita pizza today and I wonder if it's a freshness thing because the margarita pizza was much better. Or maybe it's locational dependent. Maybe the silver like pizza oven

is just putting out better pies. But you got the vegan pizza. Yeah, okay, so should I go through everything that I got? Or what else? Yeah, okay, so I also did an earlier trip this week as well. And I didn't have that much stuff. I was having a very light dinner, but I thought I might as well go there and have, I thought I would get a soup because

I'm probably not going to get a soup like in the middle of the day. I don't know why. I don't know. I was extremely, like I was on three hours of sleep, so I was like, I'm not going to remember this, so I better take pictures. But I did have a soup there. I had the chili verde chicken soup that I thought was pretty fantastic. Wow. It was really bright tasting. It was very thick with the green chili, like bright green. And I like a soup like that to have like a lot of acidity in it, in addition to the spice, and it had both.

And I wish I would have gotten something like a cornbread to have with it, because that would have really made it. But I thought that that was a real like, for a grocery store soup or even just in general. That was a great soup. I would be happy to make a soup like that at home. Were you not sleeping well because like the idea of coming on the show? Yeah.

Having the rumbly. In Antis, I was like, tenething basically. Like five days ago. And then what else? I didn't have that much, but I had the paleo-friendly roasted sweet potatoes, which were just like sweet potatoes, olive oil, salt, black pepper, like just what I would make at home, except they were really, really overdone. They were mushy.

Like they, if you just stirred them around a bit, you would just have like mashed sweet potatoes. And it just wasn't the texture exactly you wanted them. They tasted good, but it was, it was fine. And then I just got a complete dumb thing that was like, oh, I would never get this normally, but I was like, I'll try the vegan lemon rice, like just such throwaway item. And I just thought that was like, oh, I would never get this normally. But I was like, I'll try the vegan lemon rice, like just such throwaway item.

And I just thought that was bad. I just, I wouldn't know why you would get that as opposed to, you know, just regular rice even. It was disappointing. But anyway, that was my Monday trip. I can't remember. So today, I did a similar strategy. I did a hot box and I did a cold box, which is just way more food

that I would normally have there, first of all. Like I oftentimes will just like really densely pack in one of the small boxes, like just cram as much as I can in there. Oh, that's an interesting strategy. It doesn't make a difference. Like it still weighs out the same, but it's just like I find the big boxes,

if we're really getting into it, I find them to be kind of ungainly. Like the lid pops off a lot of stuff. So I try to like... I feel like you're also just more likely to put more of something you won't eat or something in there. Yeah. I, when I was at the Santa Monica one, I had one of the big ones and it like kind

of the container kind of ripped and I was like carrying it around, but I was still like open and filling it up. And then I kind of lost the grip on it and it was starting to fall, but I caught it. Like so I didn't spill anything. But this older woman was there and she and filling it up. And then I kind of lost the grip on it. And I was starting to fall, but I caught it. Like, so I didn't spill anything, but this older woman was there and she saw the whole thing and she went, whoa! Like all offended when I did it. Like I just like blurted out a slur.

It was crazy. It was like way too, and I was like, I was like, oh, a close call, like trying to deflate her or whatever. And she was just looked at me all like mad. I can't do anything to you. This lady rules. Yeah. I cannot imagine her reaction if she saw you today at the whole. It was a true nightmare today. We're really teasing this connoisseur. Amelia showed me a picture of

it and it was it was fucking disgusting. But okay so I'll get through the rest of my or so. So today I had, in my hot box, I had the vegan chimichurri meatballs, which my picture is blurry so I can't read the ingredients, but they were like some kind of soy meatball or something. I don't actually don't know what the protein was in it. I had the home fries, which had like roasted red peppers in them. I thought those were pretty good, but it's kind of, they were fresh enough that they were, you know, um, like, if they were stale or whatever, they would have been bad. It was kind of hard to fuck up that sort of thing. And then, um, and then I had a piece of pizza.

I had the vegan, buffalo cauliflower pizza alternative crust. That is the full name of the product. So this was, I was really excited for this one because like I said, like I don't eat dairy and anytime there is a vegan pizza on offer, I kind of have to go for it. Oh wow. Jimmy's riveted.

He's ready. So Susser also had this. Yes. And he made a proclamation that this is the first slice of pizza that he's ever got that he wouldn't finish. That's right. That he wasn't going to finish, which I said was a sign of the apocalypse, one of the seven signs of the apocalypse.

Oh. But he was not, he didn't finish it. How did you feel about it? So this was the kind of thing that tipped the scale for me in the meal overall, because I found it to be very middling to not so great or a waste of calories. But the vegan pizza was really the thing that I kept coming back to.

I had, so as you said, I smuggled a piece of pizza in with the rest of my hot food, which is extremely illegal. So I was sort of maneuvering it. It was on top of some cauliflower and other stuff. So I was trying to take bites of it. It was like flopped all over my other food. I didn't like, this wasn't cool or good that I did this. But, um. I would think it was cool.

But so I had a couple bites and I was like, that's a lot. Like, you know, it's got this buffalo sauce It's got the fake cheese on it. It's got these like sliced red onions all over It's just like a lot of flavor felt like almost deep fried like extremely Heavy and fatty as a lot of vegan pizza can be because that fake cheese is just like what it's just like gargum and like Coconut flour or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, it can be pretty oily and nasty. But then I would have like provided some.

Is it guar gum? Is that what it is? Yeah, I think that's the stuff that's thickening. I've never heard of it. It's guar gum. Like guar like the band. Yeah. That's what I thought it was.

That was what they were named after. They were all vegan, I'm sure. But yeah, so I kept coming back to it. I would take a couple bites of something else that was truly fine, whatever. I would say the other thing I got that I liked the best was kale salad with avocado, which was just very simple again. It was just some like, lasanado kale with really nice ripe avocado slices on it.

And it's nice in a bar where you can kind of load up a little more avocado and kind of get more bang for your buck. But that was just really nice. And again, like bright and fresh feeling. And I would be happy to have that for lunch with some other protein or something on it. But yeah, I would keep coming back to this fucking buffalo vegan alternative crust pizza

and like just sort of wondering over and over, is it good? Like it's not a pizza, but I was just, I was confounded by it. Yeah. It looks not good to me, but I, you know. It is a crazy color. It's the color of SpaghettiOs. It's, and it's got these all onion slices on it.

Yeah, a lot of big veggies on it. It was- Cauliflower on it. Yeah. Yeah. It, it was really weird and I, they give you such a big slice that I thought, I didn't finish mine either, but it's just because it was a huge slice. But the crust was weirdly good.

I guess it was the cauliflower crust. I don't know. I like really wanted to hate it. I really, really wanted to hate the pizza and somehow I think it ended up being the standout for me. Wow Which is really um Surprising to me. It is something I never had before because I got some other You know familiar things I got like some of the cold bar stuff

I think is I like I said, I think is stronger in general or if I'm just going there Yeah, if I'm just going there for lunch and I want like a nice light lunch, then I would just get one of these mixed salad things, like a green and dressing and something else. And then I don't know, some chicken thing or something on the side and be very happy. The cold chicken, it was like some chicken salad

in the cold bar. The chicken was not very good. That was another issue. I was just like, this does not taste like high the chicken was not very good. That was another issue. I was just like, this does not taste like high quality chicken or for whatever reason. Well, I don't doubt it's not high quality chicken, which is why they're covering up with a bunch of mayo and other accoutrements.

But I will say that the scoop of chicken salad I got on Tuesday was one of the highlights of the cold case. So it probably just, there's just probably variants from location to location from batch to batch. I had a lady kind of get mad at me the other night. I was going to Bug Main Show, that's what you made those sound files for by the way. Sorry, thank you.

She's probably pissed off right now, thank you. Thank you Emma. Honestly, I would do it again now. I was just before now, so. I was just before now, so. But I was going, I was walking into the show and there was this dog, and I see the dog running around the corner and there was a person standing at the theater.

I was like, is that dog? And she's like, I don't know. I was thinking the same thing. So I ran up and there was two ladies walking for her, but it was off a leash. She was on a busy street. I was like, hey, is that your dog? And the lady was like,

huh, and she's like, it can be scary when a guy like yells at you in the dark. And I was like, what the fuck? I mean, I didn't say what the fuck. I was just like, No, but what the fuck? I was like, oh, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, is that your dog? And then like, she like was still giving me kind of, she kind of being mean to me and her friend was like, it's like, yeah, your dog? And then like, she like was still giving me kind of, she's kind of being mean to me and her friend was like, it's like, yeah, it's our dog. It's our dog and like her friend or whatever, whoever the person she was with was being like, yeah, it's ours, don't worry about it. And the lady was like, still giving me a hard time.

And I was like, I left the whole thing being like, I was just worried because your fucking dog is running on its own up the street. Yeah, she was being insane. Wow. Do I seem intimidating? Me in the dark wearing the same outfit? I say it's definitely the woman who's crazy. Hey, is that your

dog? Yell at me about the dog. Yeah. I was I was trying to help the dog. I think you were being helpful. I understand your concern. The off leash dog situation. I can't help being a giant. The off leash dog situation is sometimes like, it's just stressful if you're not that owner. And sometimes these dogs should not be off-leash maybe, you know, maybe if they're exceptionally well-behaved

maybe, but if they're wandering a lot, that dog's gonna get into some mischief. I agree. Well, this brings us to the Whole Foods customer issue. This is like kind of a tangential thing to the eating experience there, but depending on your location, and I would say ours was pretty chill, so that's Silver Lake One. It's not like a super snooty part of Silver Lake, so it's fine.

That parking lot is a fucking nightmare. I go there the most for CVS, and it's just a fucking nightmare parking lot. Yeah, again, very narrow aisles, hard to get out. But yeah, I mean, there are places where you find yourself around like extremely unpleasant people. For sure. For checking out.

And that can really affect your experience of it. I mean, on the opposite side, there used to be a lot of like pleasant weirdos that would hang out in the dining area at the locations I used to go to when I was younger that like it was kind of always good people watching people who would you know Spread out the entire LA Times over a table and like you know be doing you know doing their right string or whatever Whatever they were getting up to like I don't know

There was always like a collection of characters there But a lot of times it can just be like really insufferable entitled people there. 100%. I will say, and anything that we should touch on because of the particular Whole Foods we went to, some of these Whole Foods have like, they got a window where you can order a burrito. They got another window where you can get a whole pizza. They've got like a deli counter. They've got like a lot of different, it feels more like an Italy, honestly. Some of these places have have wine service in store.

This place was not that. This place was all the self-serve service. They got a Bezos wish machine. It's kind of like a Zoltan or is it Zoltar or Zoltan? Zoltar, yeah, yeah. It's like Bezos. Yeah, it seems like a Zoltar and you can ask him for a wish.

And he grants it to you, but it kind of like, it's like the hag, it's like a twisted version of your wish. Yeah, and then like you're keep looking like is that Bezos in there? Is he like just in the fucking machine? I think it's Bezos. I thought it was an animatronic. It's actually Bezos. He's just being himself. Like a problematic costume he's wearing. He's just like a syringe full of like HGH like. Yeah. Get dressed like me. He looks great. He's like a fan.

Enjoy your food. He's like a fan. He's like a fan. Yeah. Enjoy your food. He's the... I did a bane voice. I liked it, Mitch. I thought it was good. Alternative cross. We got Nolan on the brain today.

Yeah, he's really incepted us. Yeah, he's a man. Damn you, Nolan. We got Nolan on the brain today. Yeah, he's really accepted us. Yeah, he's a man. Damn you, Nolan. Does he win the Oscar? Great question for a reformed film critic.

I'm not sure you did much Oscar prognosticating in your day, but I like it feels like he beat the odds on favor. Yeah, he's going to win. He's won every other award up to now. You won the DGA or PGA or maybe both, which both of those, it's like, once you've won that and the Golden Globes and everything. I don't know, I don't care.

I was very middling on that movie as I am on most of his movies. Interesting. Yeah. I liked it, but I get it. I liked it too, but I also get it. You're so cocky. You're also Millie on Priscilla, right? Oh yeah, I was like meddling too bad on it.

You had like a piece about that. Yeah, yeah, I wrote about for the times. This is my top 10. I'm secretly showing our guest films. See, you've done a better job than me. I've actually been quite bad at scene movies, but like I still have a scene zone of interest and I want to see it. It's good, I like I still haven't seen Zone of Interest and I wanna see it.

It's good, I like it. Yeah, Boy and the Heron is great. I would say, yeah, what was my favorite thing? I, yeah, I, to me, I'm still in the period, and it's been four years since I've been a full-time film critic, but I'm still in this period of time where I'm like, thank God I don't have to make a list.

It's so nice. Yeah, I know, yeah. And I don't have to see like everything, but I do like to see everything if I can, but I've been in the middle of nowhere. It's been, and it sucks now. It's hard. I live right by the former arc light

in my LA places right by there. And I got that apartment a month before COVID. And I was like, this is gonna be awesome. I can walk down to the one-on-one. And then I can go to the movies and like all walking distance for me. And then, you know, COVID hit. The one-on-one coffee shop, which closed and reopened.

Reopened is a different diner, which I think is great. Talking with Amelia about this before, I think it's one of those things where I was very skeptical but the food is better now. What is it called? It's a Clark Street diner. It's very good. Yeah, I was very skeptical, but the food is better now. What is it called? It's Clark Street Diner. Clark Street Diner, it's very good. Yeah, it's like a big part.

Like if that goes away, I'll be very disappointed because it's a big part of the neighborhood for me. But yeah, and then not having a place to just easily go to the movies. Like I just, like Arclight was such a thing where it was just like, I could go there without thinking about it, you know? Arclight was great.

They reopened the one in Culver City near we will it where we live They reopened the arc light, but it's at it's the Culver theater and it's a secret Amazon Prime theater So you go there's they're showing fucking Prime movies that you can just stream There are they will they will show other movies So it's like but and it's like kind of like a decent theatrical experience You know I see big and and Zoltars replace Bezos. He's like kind of like a decent theatrical experience. You know, once you see Big and Zoltars or Bezos, he's like, they've re-edited it, so it's Bezos. That's so wild.

I mean, I guess if they're playing other movies, and it's not like exactly vertical integration, but it's like, we're just doing the same thing that they like got rid of in the 30s or 40s or whatever, the like where all the theaters were owned by the studios and they just played their stuff. I wish the Supreme Court like said was illegal and yeah reverse engineered that I'm on a Show on a streaming network and it is at least universal NBC universal streaming. You're on twisted metal on peacock

But I was gonna check out along with shogun on FX and who deaths to most streamers. I mean Netflix They fuck that they saw you have a show on Netflix, too. I mean, Netflix, they, fuck, they suck. Well, you have a show on Netflix too. I know, and I loved it, and it was a great show. I do, I do love it. It was a great, it was, I had a, it was, the time, I had the time of my life doing it, but streamers are terrible.

All of our friend Paul Russ is a show of love, is what you were on and, and very good on. A great show, I love it. Paul's the funniest guy in the world. I, I, I wish, I wish streamers like, I mean like Amazon and Netflix, I think specifically. And Disney Plus, fuck all those. The one thing you can say for Netflix and there's not that much, but like they haven't been like cutting stuff,

cutting content from their platform. Oh yeah. Yeah. Like I worked briefly on a show, like I worked on a, specularly on the second season of a show, like, I worked on a, speculatively on the second season of a show, the first season tanked, and then the streamer just took it off of the platform, the first, like, it, like, never existed.

And this was like three months after it came out. Yeah. And it's just like... Netflix will just not pay you. Right, sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, and, yeah, you're right. It's never the experience with the creative people or the, you know, I mean, yeah, you're right. It's never the experience with the creative people

or the, you know, I mean, whatever, you can have your own creative differences with people like all these experiences are different, but like it's not, of course it's not that part. It's just like the machine you're working under that is so depressing and just like aesthetically shitty too. I just think it's like- I know a couple of great people who work for Netflix too.

I shouldn't say like- Well, you're saying they're doing a bad job right now. They're good people and they work. Serendos. Serendos, that's it. That's the guy. That's his name, yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to Serendos's house.

That's wild. I went to the Serendos house. This is when you were on love? This is when I was on love. Yeah. Wow. You know, I did a reverse tenant into his toilet So he's called taking a shit now is a reverse tenant. Yeah

I I'm realizing at the Culver theater that Amazon owned theaters where I saw the whale Theatrical Wow, which is the thing we've talked about so many times on the podcast. I'm realizing that was the spot I never saw the whale. I Missing out. I on the podcast. I'm the only reason that was the spot. I never saw the whale I don't know if I'm ever gonna see the whale honestly sometimes there are movies and I'm a big movie Yeah, yeah, I don't I don't think so Do you know like at the Arclight when people will come up before did burning Fraser come out and like float in front of the audience at all Enjoy the movie, see you later. Bye Will, bye, we love you Will. Ha, he loves Jack and Hoff and eaten meatball subs.

Yeah. And he has to learn to stop Jack and Hoff and eaten meatball subs being reconnected with his estranged daughter, whose essay he loves. It's revealed that she has a essay about Wobby Dick. And so he has it, which gets read multiple times. The ending of the movie is, spoiler alert, we already spoiled it, spoiler alert for the whale. The ending of the movie is that his daughter is like, he's, Trotter is trying to get him to walk because he's just like this guy who's just been sitting the whole time, he's completely sedentary and he, you know, eating disorder. I just want my mom and sister to come out to LA.

And so they're like, she's like, walk, walk, like you have to walk, take steps towards me, and he finally stands up and starts stepping towards her and he's stepping towards his daughter. The sound design is perfect then to like, yeah. And then, um, and she, well, the whole time she's reading the Moby Dick essay that she's written that she wrote as a, as well, while she was younger, and that he's had other characters read to him throughout the movie. So he's like, she's like reading like, in the amazing book Moby Dick by the author,

Herman Melville, the author accounts his stories at sea, like reading this whole essay and he's like just clomping towards her, like Sinclair on dinosaurs, just like plotting. And then finally he takes- The daughter hits him over the head with a pond says not the mama. Yeah.

And he takes a step and then the next finally he takes the daughter hits him over the head with a pot says not the mom And he takes a step and then the next step he takes Both feet co-off the ground and then he like rises it starts to rise up out of frame and that's the end of the movie It's fucking insane. My mouth was just a gate. I was like, did they really fucking do this the annoying ass daughter fucking kills killed her dad Yeah, yeah, yeah in In the end. Yeah. By making him walk and then it's like heart stops. Yeah. Is that what we're to understand from it? Wow.

Wow. I mean, it's good. Yeah, it was number one on my top down list. I totally, look, that director, pie centric filmography, I do, I like his movies. I do. Me too. I love the wrestler Kade we can't be critical of things anymore. You can dislike so many bad episodes of this show

Maybe this episode's bad. I don't know not our guest fault ever. No, no, no, it's my fault. No I'm a Casey how you feeling so feeling good about this one? How you feeling so feeling good about this one? I think it's pretty good. Yeah, okay great. Jenny's looking real cute so it's good. Okay, like, Jeremy's looking cute. There's something. Jeremy's like just looking up like a true like I roll emoji thing. Oh brother. Yeah, someone you like can make something that you don't like.

Of course. It's fucking easy. Yeah, who cares? I've made so much bad shit and I'm going to continue to do it. I hate that the oculitis closed. They announced that it was going to reopen. Tease. Yeah. I'm just afraid that the dome is falling into disrepair, but they said that they did

announce it again that it's supposed to open in 2025, that that family is reopening in 2024. Hopefully it happens. I think that they're going to, my thought is that that family is reopening in 2024. That's what they say. Hopefully it happens. I think that they're gonna, my thought is that they probably have to put new seats and new sound system in the dome, right? Yeah.

I mean, they can't let that fall into disrepair can. They isn't that like a historically protected, the dome itself. I think the dome itself is historically protected. Yes, this is the Ramadome. Yeah. But I, that was my favorite place to see a movie. Yeah, yeah. I worked there for a little, I worked there for all of like four weeks.

Wow, wow. The Synorama Dome specifically? Or the Arclight? In the Arclight. I worked at the Synorama Dome a couple of times, but I was a lowly taker. Did you ever do the intro? No, that's the next level up.

You have to really earn your stripes to do the intro. I would have been, yeah, very nervous. What movies were screening about the time you were working there, do you remember? Oh gosh, there's such a, like I should make a list on Letterbox, it's just movies that were screening at the Arclight when I worked there, because I saw like parts of all of them.

I remember the Angelina Jolie, who else was in that movie? War, is that Jet Lee? Oh yeah. The second born movie, I believe. The born supremacy, is that the second one? That sounds right, right? And then Ultimatum was last?

Yes, yeah. Born supremacy. That movie by the, is it the guy who did Kingsman and stuff, that Starlight that was like a Princess Friday type thing? Yeah, the Matthew Vaughan movie Starlight. And I remember also that summer, Michelle Phy forgot a star on the Walk of Fame and I like did some video for somebody about that. So that was very, like, she was in that movie. This is all just so crystallized in my mind,

but it's like not a very good movie summer. I don't remember what the big ones were, cause I was pretty, it was late in the summer, it was when the real dregs were out. So, but a great time to just be indoors and air conditioning all the time, eating popcorn. Should we play the box office game for the weekend the born supremacy came out?

Oh my God. Yes. Yes. He's trying to turn us into fucking blank check. It's their show. They do it better than you stop trying to do it. I know they do. Is there a tie between the arc light and Scientology?

That was always the rumor. Yeah, I mean, the rumor is that one in Sep Sephora now like isn't that Sephora's also has the But but I think they say that about Arclight because the whole train the training is very long Yeah, it was like two whole weeks of training and it's very like Management school type stuff and it's like, come on. I'm just gonna be like slinging popcorn. It's not that, yeah. Sure. But, uh... Those intros are, like, for people that don't know, and I don't know, they don't do this everywhere for sure.

No, no, no, no. But people, like, an Arclight employee would come out and be like, what's up everybody? You're about to see the whale? It's like, you know, to like 111 minutes. Yeah. Burner Flage or Floats at the end. Yeah, so look forward to that. They spoil every movie I've ever seen.

And then sometimes I was there when like, I saw Iron Man there. Yeah. And they were like, Robert Downey Jr. came out with What's-his-name, who directed it. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I mean, sometimes you'll have a, yeah, opening weekend. I mean, opening weekend of movies used to be such a treat there. You really felt like you were in movie city USA. It wasn't even like a private screening or a premiere, but it felt like everybody was excited to see whatever the new thing was. It was fun.

Was it last Jedi? Was it Disney that made it so Tarantino couldn't have his premiere at the Arclight? Remember that? I think it was for me. Was it Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? That sounds right because like they wanted a certain amount of time on the whatever the biggest format was And so yeah, that was that was a whole thing. All right, the box office for July 23rd 2004 Born supremacy opens number one. Yes. No. No, it was 2007. So so maybe I'm thinking so maybe you're thinking of ultimatum Maybe it was ultimatum

Because was the next one was the one with Jeremy Renner, the next one after that? I believe so, I think it was the fourth one. Okay, so maybe. Born Ultimatum was 2007. Okay, then that's it, that's the summer. Okay, let me look that up. That's okay, what is the fourth one?

It would be fun if they like the four. One of them was just called Jason Bourne, right? Am I wrong with that? No, I don't know if that's right. Jason Bourne? The fuck was in the Bourne franchise? What about the third? I'm sure that somebody's on like the reboot of that right now.

I like them Bourne movies. What do you think of that? The thorn, like F-O-U-R-N-E. That's good. That's Bourne identity or whatever. we born when when the logo comes up It's like born and then the little bubble of the bee below kind of fades out. That's fucking good It's really good That's half the trailer. You know how to be in it Eugene Levy

The aged of course All right box office game for 2007. It's August 3rd is the weekend. Is that the one? Born Legacy is the 2012 one with Renner in it and then Jason Bourne, you're right, 2016. So that franchise has been on hiatus for a while. Alright, August August I waste time on this. This is good. No, I don't August 3rd 2007 okay for an ultimatum no opens number one Wow number two Mitch you you might get this one, an animated movie, 2007. Okay.

It's a Fox movie. Fox. Oh my God, The Simpsons movie. The Simpsons movie, number two. Number three. That was a big deal, that one. It was a big deal. Did you ever go to the Quikimark?

Yeah, yeah. Or the 7-Eleven thing I turned into the Quikimark? It was in Culver City. It was, yeah. This is right when I started working at The Simpsons basically. Yeah. Wow.

We're about to go into, or have we already gone into, no, we're about to go into the writer's strike. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The 2007 writer's strike. The OG writer's strike. Before I was in the guild. All right, number three.

This one you might not remember because I don't remember this. This is a Simpsons release 7707 it might have been Which is kind of impressive. It was still number two at that point. Yeah, it held pretty well. I guess yeah, okay underdog Underdog is number three. You're not gonna get underdog. I don't remember underdog. Oh god. Yeah, this was a this was like a live-action Beagle superhero movie I want to see that.

That sounds great. A Beagle must use his newly bestowed superpowers to vent capital city for mad scientist, Sybin Barsinster. Barsinster, I'm sorry. That's based on the cartoon. I guess based on the cartoon, but they did like a live-action.

Wow, like an Inspector Gatchit type treatment on it. Oh my God. Number four, an Adam Sandler movie. Maybe one that hasn't aged great. Not play. I know what it is. It's the where it has a sister. Yeah, it's not Jack and Jill. It's not Jack and Jill. There's another big comedy star and this is a two-hander. Oh, it hasn't aged well. I think I know it. Casey's got it. Oh. I think I know it. Casey's got it. Oh.

I think I know it. I know Francy Chuck and Laird. Yeah, I know Francy Chuck and Laird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was one of the... I was like the gay one. I can't remember. Number five...

Oh, I think that's probably aged pretty well. Number five, this is a remake and this got turned into a musical and this was a movie that got musicalized and and released theatrically Musicalized and released theatrically. Yeah, so it's like a cult hit that became a Broadway hit musical that then became a film adaptation. Oh Yeah, interesting It is hair spray rest the top ten Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, No Reservations, Hot Rod, Bratz and Transformers. Hot Rod, Bratz, Transformers. That was a big one, yeah.

Wait, what was that? Can you say after, what was before Hot Rod? Before Hot Rod was No Reservations. Anthony Bourdain. The first Anthony Bourdain type. Or was that, That was Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper was in the TV show, I think. Okay.

There was no reservations a Bourdain movie? No, this is the Catherine Zeta-Jones Aaron Eckhart No Reservations. I don't know if it's Bourdain or if it's just the same title. I thought that was called Burnt. No, that's the other. Oh, God, I hate it.

Burnt is the one with Bradley Cooper. Yeah, where he re-explores the territory. Okay, that was so fun. Wow, what a great tangent. So glad we did that. So we're at an hour and 35 minutes into the episode and we haven't ranked the fucking- You're fucking yelling at me earlier for wanting to play Baldur's Gate. And meanwhile, we're having a good conversation with a great guest, we've never been on the show before, we're having a lot of fun. People are gonna enjoy this episode. Now you're saying, like, oh, let's get a move on. I got shit to do.

What do you got to do? What do you have going on? I got stuff. Gonna be fucking wailing at the whole afternoon. Hogging one hand, a fucking meatball sub in the other. Wailing and tenetine. I wish I had that power. Grail and Intentatee. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha cold case. I did some field greens. I threw in some tofu, which I actually liked that they have the baked tofu. There is an option. I got some black olives, some red onions in there, and some kidney beans. And I just sort of peter north some Chipotle ranch on top of it. But here's where I got into trouble with the dressing.

Oh boy. So I wanted a little side dip in cup of a different dressing. And they had a a blue cheese and Emily you witnessed this whole thing as did Amelia. Amelia had a great picture of it. In fact I'm gonna try to get her to text it to me. So they're in these little like these tubes, tube containers that have these very narrow nozzles. They're kind of like the nozzle that you would have for like olive oil or something. Yes. It's like a quick pour type nozzle. Yeah, but it's obviously not made for something of that thickness. Works great for like a vinaigrette,

but for a blue cheese that has chunks in it, it was all gummed up. So I was trying to shake this sum bitch out and I was having troubles with it. Emily, you suggested I put this in, I tried to bang the bottom of it to try to like loosen it up a little bit. I tried that a little bit, I flipped it back over again. I'm just shaking the shit out of it trying to get any blue cheese out of there

Just like really going at it and and the whole lid comes off and Just a fucking volcano of blue cheese goes all over the counter It was a top three spill in Doe Boy's history. I hope Amelia sends me this pic. It has a gate of lumpy white goo. Like I've never felt really appreciated how disgusting. It's awful.

It's like clam chowder. Yeah, it looks disgusting. It made me want to not be like you and stop eating dairy. Because just seeing it splayed out on a stainless steel countertop, it looks disgusting. It made me want to not like do be like you and stop eating dairy Cuz just like seeing it splayed out on a same list of countertop looks nasty Yeah, yeah, it was like a plate's worth of blue cheese dressing just spilled out. It was yeah, it was pretty nasty Thank you for the napkin assist also. Thanks to Amelia for the napkin assist everyone pitched in we were able to clean it up I wasn't that bad. That's when I already checked out We were able to clean it up, but actually it wasn't that bad. I was fucking gone. Sus were and I already checked out.

But that was a debacle, and you know, that's just like the issue with their dressing station. I think that's actually a big, I would almost go as far as to dock that half a point for that alone. Yeah. Like you ought to figure out your salad dressings, your fucking salad bar, get your shit together, whole foods. Thank you so much for saying that. This is actually a live photo, I'm going to watch it. I also got myself a slice of the margarita pizza, which I think I mentioned earlier, which was much better than the pizza that I had on Tuesday. Just seemed fresher. The salad overall though, I will say was fine. It was a totally fine salad. It was like a

replacement level salad. And honestly, if I was just getting a work lunch, I would probably just stick to the cold case and get something like that and be like, you honestly, if I was just getting a work lunch, I would probably just stick to the cold case and get something like that and be like, you know what, I can get on with my day. This is fine. This is nutrition. I did a little tour of India with a hot box and I got the vegan lemon rice.

I got the vegan chana masala and I got the chicken tikka masala. And- That's just not, it's not what happened. You didn't do a tour of India. Well, that's what they eat, pray, love type situation. They had a few different options. It was like, okay, I'll stay in this neck of the woods.

I got the vegetable samosa. I forgot to say that. How was that samosa? No, you did say that. Oh, I did. I said everything I had to say about what I ate. We just had 100 minutes. I have to go feed my meter.. Yeah, we just had 100 minutes. Ha ha ha ha ha. Roasted potatoes, I don't think I mentioned too much about. They were fine. Everything was, I mean, everything wasn't fine.

It wasn't great. No, this is the thing. It was like the vegan China masala was. Those things, all right. Nothing is fine. What? No, I get what you're saying. This is last resort, the Papa Roach song.

Oh, oh, yes, yes, yes. Uh, yeah. I'm just trying to figure out how to make it more food focused. Nothing's all right, nothing is fine. I'm at the Whole Foods hot counter. Nothing is good. That's good. Yeah, that's good. Well, the song is like, I'm just trying to remember what the... Hot counter nothing is good With the song is like I just turn her with the is I'm losing my sight that's what that's my mind Yeah, yeah, right, so I'm losing my appetite

It's been a hundred fucking minutes. It's not even that long by our standard This is how long James Franco was caught in the fucking in the cave. 127 hours. Hours. Rats. God, he was in there for two hours and seven minutes. What an ordeal. I mean, it still would have been an ordeal.

It was survival. Like, he had a rock on his leg. That still would have sucked. I don't think any of us would want to spend a hundred minutes. That's true on our leg. And you know what? If this pod was playing, he would have fucking cut his leg off immediately. He wouldn't have fucking waited 127 hours. His arm. Isn't his arm? Is his arm he cuts off? He might be his arm. He cuts something off.

He cuts something off. That's another one of those movies I'm pretty sure I'll never. Oh, what happened? That's Led Zeppelin too. But it's my meter. OK. Go fill your meter. He cuts his hog off. He doesn't cut. Go fill your meter. He cuts his hog off He doesn't cut his I think he cuts his hog But it's his arm that's stuck

Yeah, I know when the doctors like what'd you do he's like I thought it would help I thought it would get me free I realized I could never jack off again. So I can see what you're thinking about. Yeah You have another arm. No, that's not the arm I use. Don't get this on camera. I got the Doe Boys credit card. Oh, God, they're going to steal my free frame that I think spot 133. It's like right next to my car. It's literally out the door. Thank you, Emma. Chicken Tika Masala was the chicken was very dry. The way things are going, you could put another two hours on there. I need more salt. I'm done. Wrap it up.

Did I end the podcast? This is great. We would thank you forever if you ended the podcast. You did say the chicken tiki masala was dry. It was somehow dry. It was somehow dry. Chicken tika. Well, I'm not going to try it.

Tika. Tika masala. The chicken tika masala. You said it was dry, which is like, it's a sauce. It's a saucy thing. I didn't have enough. I should have put like a fucking ocean of sauce on top of it, because the meat was very, very dry.

The lemon rice was like you were saying, is like, what the fuck, why did I get this? I would rather had just like regular basmati rice and then chicken was, a bunch of masala was fine. I mean, all the hot stuff was fine. The best hot item I had was the cheddar broccoli soup. And everything else was like, eh. I do gotta say, my little slip up, Tiki Masala, you do a Indian Tiki Fusion restaurant.

Fun. What do you think? I mean, now's the time for it. Yeah. I think that I think it's what the people want. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, so here's the thing with the hot bar to me is that I don't understand actually who hot bar food is for.

Like I just, I can't imagine a single instance in which I would want to go. It's the same thing with some of these like sneeze guard type places in New York. There'll be all these double sports. Like you can get some roasted Brussels sprouts and some like chicken drumsticks or whatever. I was eyeing it and I saw a couple, like kind of blue collar worker guys at a table and they had, one of them had a hot thing

and one of them had a piece of pizza and I was like, maybe it is a thing to just pop in and get yourself a hot lunch, you know, quickly. Yeah, if you don't have a lot of time. But also, are you gonna go, if you're like, you know, are you gonna go to Whole Foods for that? Well, I think you're also dealing with, bitch, is just like so many of the affordable working class lunch options have been like pushed out of the neighborhood because of rents. And so it's like actually going to the Whole Foods buffet and

being judicious in terms of how you're using your per pound You know weight here is one of the better bang for the bucks you can get you know if you're on a budget It's it's it's kind of a bummer you got burgers never say die right next door You got red lion just places. I'd rather go than the Whole Foods. Well. Yeah, naturally You're not gonna go to red lion for lunch like Oh yeah, naturally. You're not gonna go to Red Lion for lunch. Right. I don't know.

Get a giant ass pretzel for lunch. Some of the Whole Foods, you can have a beer there. Like, if you could have a beer at the Whole Foods in Silver Lake, Red Lion would be out of this. The experience just doesn't compare. Ha ha ha. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Mitch, one of the relationships I'm proudest of in my life is with my buddy, the Spoon Man. Wow. And you know what, a common misconception

about relationships is they have to be easy to be right. Between you and I, I don't think so. Yeah. But sometimes the best ones happen with both people put in the work to make them great. Therapy can be a place to work through the challenges you face in all of your relationships, whether with friends, work, your significant other, or anyone. Well, I always feel like a better person when I'm in therapy. I get the gunk out of my head, my anxieties go down, I'm feeling good. You know what? I'm doing good. You sure are, buddy.

I feel good, I do good. It's great. Therapy'm doing good. You sure are, buddy. I feel good. I do good. It's great. Therapy is helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself and it isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule.

Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Become your own soulmate whether you're looking for one or not. Visit betterhelp.com slash Doughboys today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.hglp.com slash Doughboys. Alright let's get to our final thoughts on Whole Foods. So Emily, here's how this works. We'll each go around, give a closing argument, if you will, in this particular chain, and end it by giving a score from 0 to 5 forks.

Okay, so I was really ready to go into this guns-ablazing full hater mode just because I don't like the company. I don't like it, especially post Bezos. I think that a lot of things have really gone downhill even further from where it was before in terms of how they're treating their workers and the fact that it's basically just an Amazon shipping drop spot at this point. It's just the Amazon-ness you cannot escape from the experience of getting something. The grocery store there, which we didn't really talk about But that's like a huge presence there. I guess we talked about like the palm scans or whatever

But yeah, so and but there are still a lot of items there that it's like I don't think they're good But they're just sort of like Reliable to me. I think that one thing I will say is post Amazon The vegetables and the salad bar stuff is just, as we were saying, like it's way more fresh. And I don't think it was just that it was a morning for us. I think in general, when I've been there, like the few times I've been there in the recent years,

I'm actually usually impressed with how fresh that stuff is. So I think whatever they're doing there is working. I do think that there, I would never have gotten the orzo salad, I think pasta salad is like a bad way to go there, but I think some of their other cold salad concoctions are like, they make you feel good in the middle of the day. And you can go on, yeah, it's like a nice healthy lunch. Like it's kind of brainless.

But, you know, in general, I think it's like a bad experience. I think that the whole, I think that the entire hot food thing, which I normally wouldn't fuck with, brings the entire experience down. I just think it's usually poorly conceived and there's no way that it's ever gonna be not dry and disgusting. So anyway, but the vegan buffalo pizza really took me by surprise and probably is gonna knock my score up

a little bit from where it was previously. I know this is like a controversial take. So I think I would normally have given it like a one and a half star, but I'm gonna give it two stars. Two forks. Two forks. Oh my God, how embarrassing. You're fun.

You could possibly ten at that and have you do it again. You don't, everyone says, we say stars still. So we make that mistake on our own podcast I think that's a good score. Yeah, two forks very fair. Yeah, very fair score. I Don't like Amazon except for tomorrow or I don't like I use it more than I should I don't shop at At Whole Foods and that's not it wasn't even like a thing of like, I think it was maybe more an intimidation thing for me.

It's like, I don't know what the hell to do at Whole Foods. I've never been there, people told me. It's like, this is back in the day when they were new. Jemmy has lit up. Because Emma is back. I'm gonna re-enter the room. She's got a great, she's got a, she can get away from Weigar.

She's perfect. She's leaving. That's all right. That's adorable. The tail is just so rapid. What if that just brightened my day? I give the whole foods five forks. I won't.

I, uh, Bezos kind of sucks. I mean, like the whole thing kind of sucks. Should I be careful saying Bezos sucks? I mean, who cares? What do you think you're gonna put a hit on you? Like Kevin Spacey? I would be so honored think you're gonna put a hit on you? Like Kevin Spacey? I would be so honored if Jeff Bezos put a hit on me.

Like that's why I'm kind of bragging about all the shoplifting I did is that I want him to come for me. I think it would be like an honorable thing to be a public enemy of Jeff Bezos. I think that he would come for you himself with all the, now he's all jacked up. I think he's, he's, he's, those hits he makes those hits he makes he makes the calls and he carries them out But I don't like it. I don't Not shop at Whole Foods because whatever I did like to hear that Gelsons is unionized and that's why it's a little more expensive I like that a lot of the honestly a lot of the Kroger restaurants even are unionized like it's like it's the newer

more of the Kroger restaurants even are unionized. Like it's the newer, more, the ones, like the organic grocers are less likely to be unionized. Like the Trader Joe's and the Whole Foods of the world. Well, I don't like Whole Foods and I did not like the hot bar, I did not like the cold bar, the pizza was okay. I enjoyed my company being there with you guys, but besides that, except for Susser, I didn't company being there with you guys,

but besides that, except for Susser, I didn't really particularly love that. I'm gonna give this 1.5 forks. Wow. And I'm gonna say this, for a restaurant that we go to, and it goes, there's just so many better, you got so distracted by Jemmy. There's so many better options.

I mean, she's being very cute. There's so many better options to go than the hot bar and the cold bar at Whole Foods. You look over at me. There's so many- I'm listening, I'm listening to what you're saying. I'm just kidding, I'm kidding, Jemmy. There's so many better, there's so many, our podcast is like a dog

just sitting there is better than our podcast. I guess it is. I mean, Jimmy's great. Yeah, we love Jimmy. Jimmy's launching a silent podcast. Look, if people are watching the YouTube feed cause they wanna see Jimmy just like lie there, like that's good for us.

That helps us out. It's true. You don't have to do anything else. She's a very us. That helps us out. It's true. You don't have to do anything else. She's a very cute dog, but listen to me, damn it. I'm listening. Whole Foods sucks. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha especially local, I mean, there's just like local restaurants right next door that you should go to that there's a Thai restaurant right next door. Just don't go, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I don't think I'll ever eat this again, except if it's for the show. I think we should also have a club for any restaurant that scores two forks or a lower average. It's called the Reverse Tenet Club.

Okay, great. And I'm gonna, I hope that this is the first member of 1.5 forks. Well, it would not have made the reverse tenet club based off of my Tuesday experience, which was a little bit better than this one. And I thought it particularly, I was semi-impressed, impressed is too strong, but I was like, not disappointed by my experience on Tuesday. I do feel like in this thing, we haven't touched on too much.

I feel like there's been appreciable drop in quality of the whole foods, hot bar and cold bar post pandemic. I feel like that's a thing where once they resumed operations, once they resumed service, it never got back to its old standards. And in particular, one thing I can center on, they used to have a Detroit style pizza, a square cut pizza that they don't have anymore.

Now they have this shittier, more generic pizza. But Natalie, I love that square cut Detroit style pizza. We got a Whole Foods Detroit style pizza for our anniversary one year. And you know what? We had a blast. It was fucking great. And it's declined so precipitously.

Oh, Natalie's take on this. She loved it We had a great time. You gotta ten it herself out of that marriage It is declined so much that I don't even want it anymore. And that's it. But that said, there are things like the kale and an avocado and red onion salad that has like a little bit of a lemon squeeze. I got some of that to go.

And I get that with the rotisserie chicken, which we didn't talk about. And we had that for dinner earlier this week. And that was a fine dinner, it was a totally fine grocery store dinner. I could see myself going to Whole Foods again, even though I do not like Amazon the company, I do not like Whole Foods the company, but I could see myself hitting up the hot bar again. It was in a pinch and that was the best lunch option in the area because that's what it's for. And I think that's why those workers were eating there. It's just like, well, fuck it. It's the same reason someone goes to Subway. Okay.

So all that said, I cannot go higher than two forks, and I'm gonna go two forks for the sixth periods. And that means it's the first entry in the new Reverse Tenant Club. Wow. Congratulations or shame graduations. Yeah, shame graduations. Shame graduations, the Whole Foods Hot Bar and Cold Bar. Here's another thing too.

I have two last thoughts one please I wanted a Diet Coke fucking fancy Amazon store. You can't buy a Diet Coke. I had to get a Sunsip cherry Cola Yeah, which is not what I want. It's like a weird fake. Yeah, Cola. I mean so is Diet Coke, but whatever And then also we check out Now mind you I'm checking out with Susser, but you say whole paycheck. How about whole mortgage? $78 wigs. We didn't talk about the price. The price is insane. I was shocked by it. I even knowing what the per pound is, I could not believe what it was coming out to. And this is actually,

I should have said this in my review, that it's like, if you want to go in, me, I'm like, I want a really simple, salad-y type thing usually for lunch, if I'm out, about, have to get something I'm on the go. Like, I don't understand a scenario in which I would not just go to a Mendoza No Farms or a Sweet Green or any of these things, which you think of as being like kind of medium pricey,

but like the pound, I would love to see side by side what I could do at a whole fart, whole fart, whole fart. That's actually, yeah. Yeah, what it will be known as from here on out. But. James, congratulations, whole fart. But I would love to see what I could do with like in that, that $15 or however much a sweet green salad cost.

Because like I just don't think it could be better and I don't even like sweet cream that much, but yeah. $78 for sausage and I. Crazy, crazy. For two people, it did go like a little bit nuts, but it didn't go crazy beyond what you get for a normal. Yes, $78 and the food we got could feed maybe me and Sus and like one more of us, one more member of Crud too.

I'm sure that's a reference people get. One more fatty is what I'm saying. One of your old sketchy. That was a fat guy sketch group. I would not have, if I was going just for a lunch and not for this exercise, I probably wouldn't have got the soup, probably wouldn't have gotten the slice of pizza. So that's, that slices off a little bit,

but I'm still spending north of $20. And that's too much for this quality of food. Yeah, two forks, I maybe should have gone lower. You know, I'll be in a hand-owning clubs with my buddy Mitch, about four and a half. Wow. Wow, I have the highest score. I feel embarrassed now.

I feel like I'm, yeah. Well. Beezo's fan girl over here. Well, shame congratulations to us all, to you as well. What a fucking, what a shit show. All right, we've got a, we've got a segment we're going to do. We're going to take a quick break. We're going to bring Amelia in here and we're going to be right back.

Oh, Jesus. All right, let's welcome in our associate producer, Amelia Marino. Amelia, how you doing? Good. I noticed you chose not to watch the rest of the record, which was interesting. Uh... That's a good start. Yeah, good judgment on your part.

Amelia, we should ask her what her fork ranking is, because you also got Susser's fork ranking. I got Susser's fork ranking, which I meant to say. Susser did one and a half for this visit and three for Whole Foods in general. Hmm, three whole foods in general. Yeah. I had the clam chowder, which I hear stole the show.

I didn't talk about it that much, but it was better. It was one of the- He's underplaying it. It's one of the best things that I ate for sure. Yeah. Um, so with that in mind, I give it two forks. Two forks, okay. Yeah. Yeah, it stays in the reverse 10 o'clock.

Yeah, no, even with Sus and Amelia's score, it's not out of the reverse 10 o'clock. Yeah, no, yeah. The reverse 10 o'clock club is like, is like. Let's not tell her. Okay. She'll hear it later. You listen to the, you listen to the call. I'm She'll hear it later. You listen to the song.

I'm not listening to this later. It's fine. What is this segment? We have no context for this. Okay, we are doing. Hit it, Emma. Here it comes! Not live,

but pre-recorded in Silver Lake. Podcast's most exciting segment using royalty-free music that barely captures the spirit of the show. It's the price is right! Wow, the price is right! Alright, let's keep the music going for a couple seconds. Alright, let's get our contestants in here! Nick Weiger, come on down.

Oh my god. Oh man. Emily Yoshida. You did not have to get up and do what he did. Oh no. Oh my god. And Mike Mitchell, come on down. I don't want to do it.

You. Okay. Come here. Woo! Tammy, come on down. You are the three contestants on The Price Is Ripe, and I'm your host, Amelia Marino. The whale's daughter should have just done this. She would have gotten right up.

Someone can resist that. I did almost float before I got to my seat. What's this week's episode? Bye. What? Let's get started. Regarding Amelia, I think we hired a weirdo. You just did? All right, so this organic red apple goes to whoever can guess

how much it costs closest to retail prices without going over. We're gonna go left to right starting with Weiger How much do you think this is? Are we guessing per pound weight over the cost of that individual apple? This individual apple purchased at Whole Foods at Whole Foods. Is it organic? It is yes organic red apple if they want to take a look at it Yeah, okay, this is the closest welcome over prices right rules. This is a sugar Yeah, it's one of these like fancy new hybrid apples. Yeah, okay, okay?

Drew I'm gonna guess $1.86 drew Great. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Great guy by the way. Yeah great guy. Um I'm gonna guess $2.05. Whoa, you guess what would you guess? $1.86 for that individual apple. Drew I'm going one cent. One cent, okay.

Actual retail price is a dollar seventy two it goes to Mitch wow yeah by the, I'm remembering that I got a little, I'll try not to crinkle this too much. I got some Whole Foods Valentine's Day cookies recording this just every Valentine's Day for the three of us, if anyone wants one. And one over. They're very cute. And also these are half heart ones,

so if we wanna split them in half. Oh yeah, broken heart. The other six of us feel free to. That sounds really good. Yeah, they're very angsty cookies. But up to you, you can take a whole cookie. Thank you. All right, congratulations, Mitch.

Let's see what we got for you. It's a brand new avocado. Wow. This shiny green avocado is organic and purchased from the Whole Foods in Silver like about two hours ago. You can make guacamole out of it, you can put it on toast. You could do whatever you want with it really Now for this game You must determine if this avocado is ripe

Using only your eyes wait, so we're not that we're not guessing a price here now words now We're doing prices right. Oh cuz rife rice is right is right. I gotta tell you you can't you can't touch It sucks the cookie sucks. That's a fucking bomber. I alright Can we can we see this in full light and where's this gonna be on camera? You see that on camera? I'm taking a bite of the That's like a shortbread cookie, I'm just gonna take a little nibble. Shortbread? Isn't this? What is this?

It's like a hard ass frosting. Oh, this sucks. This is awesome. The cookie sucks. What bad cookie? Whoa. The cookie sucks. This year at Valentine, if you want a divorce.

I think that is a- You're breaking a tooth on this. And you guys not ripe. You get home and- Not ripe. Natalie has a dozen of those cookies for you Not right not ripe guess what I'm going ripe. I'm going different from everyone else. Oh Mitch, I'm so sorry The price is not ripe

wait We all doing against each other? Well, no, because Mitch, you won the one cent. You won the one cent yes, so that was for you. Oh, this was just for me? Why did you let them answer? I would have said not ripe. Whole Foods sucks.

Wait, I don't understand what's happening. So this is a tiebreaker question. Yes, so, okay, this is how it's going to go. Whoever gets the retail price correct moves on to determine if the price is ripe. But if one person guesses ripe, if the person goes first guesses ripe, why did you let them answer?

It wasn't our game. Oh, it's only for me. It was only for me. It was just for me. Mitch was really wrapped up in the cookie. So this is the equivalent of the showcase. Yes. The dough case, if you will. He was really. That was right. Mitch was really wrapped up in the cookie. So this is the equivalent of the showcase. Yes. The dough case, if you will.

The dough case. The dough case dough down. So yeah, you will have an opportunity to get back in. The dough case dough down. Yeah, you get it. So you'll guess the price first, then if you win, you'll move on to the right side. This is bullshit,

because I would have said whole food sucks, not ripe, but I was going opposite of what they were saying. So this is like the equivalent of Plinko Sure, yes, okay. Got it. Yeah sure. She said Yes, it's like Plinko, okay, you ruin my showcase I have Mitch I have another avocado Okay, you were trying to be contrarian and that's what happened. I think that's what happened Well, I thought I was playing the game. I was saying like you two say ripe I miss you to say not right, but I'm gonna say right

This is take this is your next Mitch. This is just for you now. I'm gonna say this is also not ripe This is also not ripe. Ooh, I'm so sorry. This looks ripe. Mitch, what are you doing? I thought it was price. The price is ripe. Look at how much riper that is. Wait.

I'm already hearing everyone's complaints for audio listeners. I'm just curious. So what's happening is Emma's holding up a green avocado and next to it a much darker. Yes. Closer to brown-black avocado. And which yesterday were both not ripe. Why are you trying to stay were both not ripe. Why are you trying to steal my apple?

All right. I thought that the second avocado was for Nick to guess. No, that was that was a redo. Yeah. All right. Okay. But now we can all it's all level playing field again. Okay.

Okay. Okay. I can't believe how bad that cookie was. Yeah. It could be so bad. What is this? It's just a little gap. Like we're just for looking.

A cucumber! Wow. Actual retail price without going over wins. Jesus Christ. Do you know, was this a... Can I ask, can you tell? Is this a per pound or is this a per unit? Per unit.

Per unit, okay. Can I ask, can you stop shaking it around? That's how you type in there right, but not. This is a, this is like, and this looks like maybe an English cucumber, maybe a hot house. What are we dealing with? English. Yeah, it's English. It's a long boy.

Greenhousegrown.ca. Okay. It's a Greenhouse grown English cucumber. It's a long boy. Oh yeah, not a standard cucumber. No. Why is that what yours looks like when you're really nauseous? Yeah, my dick turns green A human anatomy You say what did you say? It's like the video of Drake that came out recently.

Oh my God. Drake had a hog video? Oh yeah. Oh my God. You don't see it? I'm barely online and I saw that. How's he looking? He's big.

He's sitting pretty. He has nothing to be ashamed of. Go Drake. He's problematic, right? People are going to get mad at us. The dope boys were talking, complimenting on Drake's hog, but he's problematic. We don't know if he is or not. We have no idea. We can't tell.

He could like the hog but not the arnab. I'm gonna guess 159. 159. Great guess. I'm going to guess, Joe, I'm going to guess $2.50. $2.50 and Mitch? I am again going to guess $2.50. $2.50 and Mitch. I am again going to guess one cent. One cent, guess.

Okay, actual retail price, $2.19, that goes to Emily. Wow. Well done. Do I get a cucumber? Yes, you do. There you go. Wow. That's the best price so far.

I like to think Drake. You get the cute number, Emily. But you also get to move on to guess if the price is right. I'm not going to fuck this up. Okay, that's it. So we don't answer this one. We know now that we don't answer it. Don't answer.

This one's kind of hard. That is hard. You must determine if these, this bundle of bananas is ripe. They're not ripe. You guys, those aren't ripe bananas. I'll back you up on that. But Jemi is very, very interesting. She's look under ripe. Yeah. Keep in mind, Weigar, your definition of ripe

might differ from the rest of the world. Okay. I would call those under ripe though and I like a slightly green banana but those are still more green than I would like There's also and and the I'd say that there's two in the front and three in the back This is a five pack and yeah, the the two in the front look a little bit greener than the ones in the back So it's maybe not an even ripeness across the you don't get to guess

I'm just giving some context and I'm giving some back-up door guests and give you some context to our audio listeners We're gonna fucking come are you you even complaining about the segment? I mean, okay, if you're looking at the rear right one, then that could be right. Right. But the rest of them I don't think are. I don't know. This is very subjective. I agree. Okay. I also don't agree. So the first one is objective and the bonus round is subjective.

That's kind of what we're finding ourselves in. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Okay, got it. Do we win or not? We can peel one and see what... I think that's a great way to say it. You take off the back one, wags, you taste it.

Okay. Like I'll be the neutral arbiter of ripeness? Okay. I mean, I don't think I'm a fully neutral party. It's okay. Someone else want to taste a banana? I love it. I can't do it, can I?

Fucking Drake Grinchog over here. Our dogs, oh cats are afraid of cucumbers. Cats are afraid of cucumbers? Yeah, they're like, I think maybe it's a snake thing. Uh-oh, uh-oh. This is pretty edible, this particular banana. Ooh, I'm sorry. I would prioritize this one as slightly underripe to ripe,

but this is like a banana I like to eat. Okay, that's probably a banana I like to eat then too, so. Do you want part of this? Then the price was ripe. Okay, I'll have the end. I'm so sorry. It's a couple of the price was right. OK, I'll have the end. So sorry. It's a couple of the part I bit.

OK, thanks. Cut off. By cut off, you mean ripped off of your hand? Yeah, this is a fake banana. Yeah, this is fine. I suck. I'm sorry, everybody. OK. You lost. All right. So it's hot. We're all losing at the games.

Everyone's losing. Does Gemmy like bananas? You know, she always seems super interested in them, but then she never eats them when I give them to her. I think she thinks they're string cheese. Mm, yeah, that makes sense. Weiss, we're at 1.34. We're seven minutes over Franco.

You gotta fucking chill out. You realize we just released an episode. It took me a second to realize that was referencing. We just released an episode that was over two hours. Our last episode was over two hours. This is not... They was over two hours our last episode was over two That's what I'm saying. This is not an unreasonably linked episode of any this might come a little under our current average I'm gonna cut most of this out anyway Was the hodgeman episode. Yeah, those are good episodes

How long how long do that one go? It's a little over two. It's a crazy. This is totally reasonable. I like long pod. Wow. All right. We got a pineapple here. Next up, pineapple. Actual retail price close to flat going over. You're cranky. That's the issue.

What the fuck? You guess, Wigs. Pineapple. Wait, I haven't got, I've gone first, but have you gone first? You want me to go first? Yeah, let's go first. Let's go first? Go first I'm gonna go that is $4.15. Oh, I love that guess Am I next I

Think Emily next great. Okay. I mean I guess 499 One cent drew $1, Drew. Wow. And we're here with the $1 guess. Well. Actual retail price is $3.99. So this goes to the $1 guess. Why girl?

Congratulations. Fuck. You get the love there. I'm very surprised these are all coming under. I know. And it's making me feel very loosey old blue. Yeah. At Whole Foods, I would have thought this would have been like almost like $8 or something.

Yeah, same. But I just went against the grain. 16 cents off. I guess it's not that big. Is this another per pound? No, that's not each. This is per unit. Yeah. I love pineapple and I wanted that, but then the idea of cutting it just seems like too much.

Oh, I love cutting open a pineapple. It is fun. It's fun. Now, why are you getting this determined? That's not right. That one of the best fruit unboxings, it's like going into a pineapple. I don't know. Watermelon.

Watermelon is really fun. What's that? Is that like a bruisey apple? This is a nectarine. Oh, a nectarine. Yes. It is not nectarine season. So, Weiger, this guess is for you.

Okay. Is the price ripe? This looks overripe. What is it? How does it overripe account? You can guess overripe. This looks overripe. It's a little bruosed and battered.

Okay. But maybe it's more smushed than maybe it's properly ripened just a little bit smushed in transit. I think it got smushed in transit. Okay. So do I win? This part of the game is flawed. I think it's like,

I like that I know he's a fruit arbiter. I think it's ripe. I think it's ripe. You think it's ripe? Yeah, I think it's like perfect to eat. Okay. I think you're probably right. Okay, so I don't get it. Well, you could have it.

I'll take it. Mitch, do you want to trade a nectarine for an apple? No, I want the apple, but I do want the pineapple. Now do we want? Do you want to trade a pineapple for for an apple? No, I want the apple, but I do want the pineapple. Now do you want pineapple for an apple? That's a lot harder, but I heard that these apples are good. It looks like a good. Those are fun. Yeah. Yeah, those are fun That looks like a cartoon apple. It's so shiny and bright. I'm just not gonna I'm not gonna eat the pineapple Am I would you do an apples double?

That would be fun. Do we want to do one more or would we rather the segment end? I say one more. Let's finish this up. One more. Okay. How many do we have left? We all want more.

Okay, great. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, who's winning? I'm not keeping track. Cool. Actually, I think no one. This is the showcase showdown. Yeah, okay.

This will be it. This will decide it. Actually, everyone lost the ripe section. I think no one. I think no one. I think no one. I think no one. This is the showcase showdown. Okay, this will be it. This will decide it. Actually, everyone lost the ripe section. Okay, yeah. Oh, man. All right. Next up, we have these Driscoll's Organic

raspberries from Whole Foods. Okay, cost a pretty penny. Yeah, those are I think are pretty expensive, and those tend to, that's like that's per the pack obviously. Mm-hmm. Okay. So we've got like what is that an eight ounce or what's the what's the weight there?

Oh, six ounces. Oh, that's a six ounce or OK. OK. Mm. We have six ounces of raspberries. It's not raspberry season. Mm. Um. Am I first? We had six ounces of raspberries. It's not raspberry season. Am I first?

We haven't had Emily go first. Do you wanna go first? I think I have, but I'll go first. Oh, okay. Whoever, I don't. Clearly we're not keeping track. I went first to the first one. I can go first again. I will guess that that pack costs $3.

It feels low. Okay. I will guess that that pack costs $3. Which feels low. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna guess that pack costs $5.19. $5.19 and Mitch. I'm gonna go $3.01, Drew. $3.01. Actual retail price is $5.99. Emily Mints. Wow, wow $5.99. Emily Mines.

Wow, wow. Congratulations. Congratulations. Yay, some winter raspberry. Now, Emily, you get to determine if the price is right. These are cotton candy grapes from Whole Foods. We got cotton candy grapes in a bowl. Now, we can't really don't have a good angle on them from here.

Emma is passing them over. Yeah, I'm gonna say those are ripe, it's not over ripe. Ding, ding, ding, correct, they are over ripe. Wow. That was an ante to the question. Yay. Congratulations, well done. Wow, wow.

These are so healthy. These are over, I'm not even gonna try them, I don't think they're so overripe. They don't look too great some Some not over ripe some ripe ones if you want to try they do taste like cotton candy. Oh wow now Emily your prize Oh, I have a cucumber and mashed berries peach Wow congratulations You you're leaving with a with a bunch of fruit. I'm going to try one of these cotton candy grapes though. Is that a peach?

That's OK. This is the hardest peach. That actually looks like a nectarine. That doesn't look like a peach. This is a nectarine. Yeah, that looks like a peach. Peaches are fuzzy nectarines. This is 100% the peach.

Yeah. Yeah. The ripeness is still the same though. It also might be a plum. I don't know. Where still the same. Also, it also might be a plum. I don't know. Where is the commissioner? When you were. Were you prepping this for an hour and a half? Is that what happened?

The person who's in charge of saying what's right and what's not right didn't know which fruit was. Let's just say they were labeled wrong at Whole Foods. We blame Whole Foods. Um, this, uh, the sticker on this says, uh, Peach. So. Is there a sticker on the other one? Is there a sticker on this one?

Um, this one does not have a sticker. No sticker. But, um, the ripeness doesn't change. Amelia, best point of the day. Great point. Great point. Thank you so much. What a fun point. Best point of the day. Great point. Thank you so much. What a fun thing. Thank you for participating, everyone.

The price is ripe. Price is ripe. First and last time we will do this segment. I think it's got legs. I think it's got legs. This needs to come back. I think we just need some more clarity on how it works. But I think now that we've got it figured out,

this is going to be great. Thanks, great job. The price is ripe is this milk ripe. You know, like, you know what I mean that this is gonna be great. Thanks. Great job. The price is ripe is like, is this milk ripe? You know, like, is like, you know what I mean? That's good. Yeah. There's other things. Yeah, there's other things.

Yeah, there's other things. Maybe you feel it, you'll be able to feel it too, but that might be too easy. I think you could have maybe a feel lifeline. This sounds like a fucking Doe Boyz production meeting. Feel lifeline. I was gonna say you could stretch that into a double. That's true, that's true. Yo, you get one lifeline to cop a feel, but you can do that once per round.

And then cop a peel. You can cop a peel. Cop a peel. Would that be like you could take a peel sample from it? So you're not even like feeling the entire fruit. You're just getting like a sample of like a biopsy. Couldn't really touch a little peel. That was a good segment, Emile. Thank you so much.

That was great. Just like a restaurant, you buy your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. And today we got an email from Big Al. Big Al. Big Al. Big Al writes. I don't think so, Tim.

Big Al does not write, I don't think so, Tim. He writes, your recent bread bowl episode got me thinking about a situation that happened over 10 years ago when a friend ordered a bowl of clam chowder and a bread bowl at a ski resort. The other friend and I initially mocked him for such a heavy lunch item while skiing, but after trying it out for ourselves, it has become a tradition for us all to order one when on our yearly ski trip. That's fun. Has there been a food item that you initially turned your nose up at, but have since shoved

your nose deep into upon trying it? Yeah. All right, big Al, calm down. Okay, so something you initially had some sort of aversion to and then time passed or eventually tried it and you're like, you know what, this actually, this actually pretty good. I mean, for me, that's probably sushi. Oh, interesting.

I was never, I never, the idea of eating raw fish was to a young me was like scary. Yes, sure. And then I had it a few times like, you know, like bad Quincy versions of sushi. Right. And then I came to LA, had some good sushi, and I had it last night for dinner, it was great.

So sushi for me is probably one of the top ones. Yeah, I mean, like for me, I feel like my taste in something like horseradish has changed over time. That used to be a thing, it was like, oh, I don't know about this. And you know what, actually I get the big one. Horseradish is one, horseradish is like, Rashes like I love horse. I'll take all that that you got There's time was like oh, that's weird. It burns your nose brings your sinuses

The big one for me is a piece of salmon, which I used to think was gross as a kid I thought like this is disgusting. I don't want to eat this. This is nasty I would slather catch up on salmon just to make it not taste like salmon. Jesus. I know. I know. It's depraved. Everyone was grossed out. Yeah, it's nasty.

But I was just like, well, at least if I soak this thing in ketchup, I'm just tasting ketchup and just getting a weird fish texture. Now I love a piece of salmon. Wow. I'll have that any time. Beautiful. Great, great, wonderful protein. Wow.

One of our top proteins. It's so good. It's good for your brain. It is good for your brain. One of our top proteins. It's so good, it's good for your brain. It is good for your brain. One of our top proteins, I agree. So the dough boys are so smart. Mm-hmm, oh, am I answering this? Yes, please.

Yeah, well, the first one that comes to mind is the vegan buffalo pizza alternative crust. Thank you. But I will say, I have a lot of lines in the sand about certain junk foods, especially, like bagged chips, products, like Frito-Lay products. And I have to say, the last couple of times, I have had a bag, multiple different flavors, of Layers or Ruffles. I have been like, this is the greatest thing in the world.

Like, it's kind of refreshing after mostly just eating cattle chips, fancy or potato chips. But like, like I had some kind of, oh, I just had like sour cream and onion ruffles last night because there was someone in our hotel room. And I was like on cloud nine. I just like the art, all the chemicals and stuff were just really Working for me and it's nice if you don't I think if you don't eat that kind of thing a lot I don't I generally avoid that sort of stuff But every once in a while you have it and you're like I get it I get it

You say so come on your sour cream and cheddar sour cream and onion. I Either I just had plain ruffles anduffles rock ruffles are coming back I like the crinkle cut like kettle chips as well like I think those are great But good texture something about that kind of it's just so delicate just dissolves in your mouth another problem Another problem with Whole Foods Mitch is the regular ass chips note. No regular soda. No regular chips. Yeah, you know, it's funny I think another place Got an irregular ass chips. No regular sodas, no regular chips. You know what's funny? I think another place, which it's appropriate

for what's about to happen, Taco Bell. I think that I was like, whatever about Taco Bell. I didn't know it. Interesting, you know? This is when I was little, little, little. And then once I had it, I was like, damn. I guess he came around an Arby's a little bit. Oh, see, I've always been an Arby's fan.

Arby's Rocks. It's having its day in the sun and I couldn't be happier. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a little disappointed their Good Burger was just an existing burger that they labeled the Good Burger. Like they got to make a special burger. Yeah.

You know. They knew they didn't have anything like very worthwhile on the burger department to fuck with, so it was okay to make a joke out of it. Yeah. You know what else I've come around on? What? Meatball subs while watching porno. I mean, yeah, you were a real snob about that one.

No, thank you. I'm just jacking that one. No, thank you. I'm just jacking off without a sub, thank you. All right, that's all taken care of. Now to separately eat a sub. Hey, if you have a question or comment about the World of Chained Restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GOTO.

That's 830-463-684 for Emily Oshida. So great to have you on the podcast. Thanks for making time for us. This was a blast. Thank you so much. This has been great. Shogun is on FX and Hulu. Tell people about the show.

Anything else you want to plug? Yeah, for sure. So the show, I think first two episodes drop on February 27th. And as does- Which will be this coming Tuesday. Yeah, and then as does the Shogun official podcast, which I host. Wow.

Which we'll be talking about, talking to all the actors, some, a lot of the behind the scenes people, stunt people, maybe the dough boys. I think they still room for a dough boy too. I mean, just mostly like, you know, what are you watching while you're masturbating and keeping your people stuff? It's probably Shogun. I mean, that mostly like, you know, what are you watching while you're masturbating and keeping your people stuff? It's probably Shogun.

I mean, that's the smart pick. That's at least, you know, the line I'm going with for promo. But yeah, but yeah, that's going to be out every week as each episode comes out. And yeah, check it out. Congratulations. People should check that out. That's so cool. Thank you.

And hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. Now let's send it to our ad-shad, Killian. Wow. ["Dough Boyz"] Hello, Doe.

Killian the ad-shad here reminding you, as always, that Doe Boys is produced by Emma Erdbrink, associate produced by Amelia Marino, engineered by Casey Donahue, and video edited by Mike Dorfman. Want to watch this episode? Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Doe Boyz Podcast.

Doe Boyz T-shirts, hats, pint glasses, and more are available exclusively from kinshipgoodsviabirdfuck.com. On the next Doe Boyz Double, the Siskel and Ebert of Fast Food Podcasting, welcome the man who actually wrote a book about Siskel and Ebert, screen crush editor and critic Matt Singer. Mitch, Weigher and Matt talk through chain restaurant movie tie-in meals over the years

and how to maintain your sanity while gorging on garbage food. The episodes get two thumbs way up. Get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday plus the entire pre-head gum back catalog only at patreon.com Slash Doughboys and for all my self-identifying chads and Stacey's stay tasty Sources for the intro are in the episode description That was a hate gum podcast