Doughboys - Yard House 2 with Dave Schilling

Episode Date: May 20, 2021

Dave Schilling (Galaxy Brains) joins the 'boys to talk movies and eating vegan before a review of Yard House. Plus, a celebrity booze edition of Slop Quiz.Sources for this week's intro:https://www.bracpmo.navy.mil/brac_bases/california/former_long_beach_naval_complex.htmlhttps://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1994-01-13-hd-11268-story.htmlhttps://military.wikia.org/wiki/Long_Beach_Naval_Shipyardhttps://www.palmspringslife.com/success-on-tap/https://seekingalpha.com/article/718921-darden-restaurants-acquisition-of-yard-house-creates-long-term-potentialAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fm.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This bland bureaucratic acronym stands for Base Realignment and Closure, a process that, beginning in 1988, drastically reshaped the post-Cold War economy in the U.S. by shuttering dozens of military bases across the country. And among those military towns that would see the anchor of its local economy permanently closed was the sunny SoCal city of Long Beach, perhaps best known for its affiliation with the West Coast hip-hop scene. During World War I, the Long Beach Naval Station was established to serve as the home port for Pacific battleships, and during World War II, the then Department of War added the

Long Beach Naval Shipyard, which at its peak provided 16,000 manufacturing jobs. Post-war, Long Beach would become a major domestic hub of both shipbuilding and airplane manufacturing, as aviation company McDonnell Douglas, later acquired by Boeing, established plants in the port town. But in 1991, Base Realignment and Closure hit the LBC, and the station and shipyard were closed in quick succession, marking the cities, like the nations, transition from military and manufacturing to a retail and restaurant-based economy. So it's perhaps fitting that, just a few years later in 1996, a bartender from nearby Huntington

Beach with a Stanley name of Steel Platt opened a bar and restaurant in the city's shoreline village neighborhood. On the vanguard of the then-novel gastropub trend, the concept was a quick hit and locations spread across the Golden State, which remains its biggest market. In 2012, the concept sold to current Olive Garden and former Red Lobster corporate overlord Darden Restaurants, and today has 80 franchises nationwide. As for Long Beach's naval facilities, today the former shipyard is leased to a South Korean shipping company, and the grounds of the former station comprise an outdoor shopping center.

And the purported cost savings from BRAC are nonexistent, as the American military budget inextricably bloats. This week on Doughboys, we return to Yard House. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Chokey Cheez-It, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Chokey Cheez-It. That's right, Mitch, that's a reference to your Cheez-It near asphyxiation story. Rebecca sent that in.

You know, I think that the thing is, is that it partly was just allergies. I think, like, my throat has hurt since then, and I'm like, oh, I think it's just, it feels like there's dirt in my throat. I got dirt throat going on, I got some dirt in my throat, and it's just the green gunk in the airwags. Wait, but how does that pertain to the Cheez-It? I don't know, maybe the Cheez-It was a catalyst, and then I, you know, I think the Cheez-It might have been a catalyst.

I don't know about this theory. I think the Cheez-It was a catalyst, Wigs. You don't believe it? No, I mean, I think it's possible, but like, was there any gunker, like, did you drop the Cheez-It in some mud and then dust it off and eat it anyway? The Cheez-It was covered in pollen. Okay, that's the issue. Then yeah, your theory absolutely holds water.

I got some news, I heard some news from listener of the show, Becca Weber, also worked on the birthday boys. She texted me, she told me that the Wendy's by my home near Palmerston has reopened, Wigs. Wow. And it was done over, got a facelift, and you know what that means, Wigs. It's time for me to come out back west. It's time for me to come back.

I'm coming home. Do you think it's possible this is Wendy's trying to lure you back? Like, I mean, it's a possibility. We've been hemorrhaging money for the past year. We're going to get Mitchell back in town. Coming home, coming home, spicy chicken, I'm coming home. Wow. Is that off the dome?

Yeah, of course it's off, it wasn't even good. I thought it was great. Mitch, I have news. Really? I have news of my own. Now we discussed this in a group text. Oh, cool. So it's not news.

An LA Times story came out this week that is shocking. It's titled The Man Who Didn't Invent Flamin' Hot Cheetos by Sam Dean. I'll read a little bit from this article. For the last decade, Richard Montanez has been telling the story of how he invented Flamin' Hot Cheetos. The world has been eating it up. I will include myself among the world. I love the story.

I've told this story countless times. Story continues. It goes like this. He was working as a janitor at Frito Lay's Rancho Cucamonga plant when he dreamed up a chili-covered Cheeto and believed in himself enough to call up the chief executive to pitch his spicy idea. Corporate backstabbers tried to sabotage Montanez for stepping out of line, but he outhustled them, driven by a hunger to succeed, Flamin' Hot's became a runaway hit.

There's just one problem. Montanez didn't invent Flamin' Hot Cheetos according to interviews with more than a dozen former Frito Lay employees, the archival record, and Frito Lay itself. None of our records show that Richard was involved in any capacity in the Flamin' Hot test market. Frito Lay wrote in a statement of the Times. We've interviewed multiple personnel who were involved in the test market, and all of them indicate that Richard was not involved in any capacity. This is a scandal.

This is unbelievable. Heartbreaking, Likes. That's the word for it. This is a myth I didn't want busted. I would have liked the Lisa Simpson approach. Keep the myth of Jeremiah Springfield alive. We don't need to know he was a silver-tongued pirate. What a bummer.

What a bummer. Is that the episode where they find the silver tongue in his coffin? Yes. That's good. That's funny. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's funny. It's a good joke.

Why is it a bummer? It's a real bummer. It is a bummer. What can I say? You know what? I'm coming back. I'm going to write everything over there on the West Coast. Everything seems to be falling apart.

We need you out here, Mitch. Why is I want to say, howdy-how to Spoon Nation? Ooh. Ooh, it kind of followed me over into... It's only supposed to be howdy-ho, but it followed me into Spoon Nation. Why is I going to come back? The Tomorrow War is going to premiere at some point. I'm probably going to do a fucking dorky, fucking online premiere, some bullshit, I'm

sure. A virtual red carpet? A fucking virtual red carpet. It's going to take my mom to it. Now we're going to be fucking sitting in my apartment. Put on your VR headset for some 3D animated paparazzi. Bullshit. Fucking bullshit.

Why is... You know who I'm afraid of of seeing the movie? Who? Jay Sherman. It stinks. If he gives you an, it stinks, you're cooked. Say goodbye to your box office. When I say, it stinks, am I Jay Sherman or John Mulaney?

This is maybe a hot topic we shouldn't touch right now. I'm just saying, have you ever noticed that John Mulaney sounds like the critic? He kind of does have a little bit of love in it. He sounds like the critic. I'm not saying anything else for God's sakes. Okay, here we go. Here's a little drop. Wags?

Yes. I got news for you. My throat is fucked up today. Because last night... Because last night... I mean, I choked on a cheese-it. I was choking on a cheese-it. I love cheese-its.

I was choking on a cheese-it. I feel like it's in my sinuses. I feel like it's in my... I was really choking on the cheese-it. And it went down the wrong windpipe. Down the wrong windpipe. Damn. Down the wrong windpipe.

My sinuses. I choked on a cheese-it. Why? Down the wrong windpipe. I feel like shit. Now, Wags. Yes. Can you imagine my excitement?

When I hear your roast, and then I hear that... I had already seen the drop that it was titled Choking on a Cheese-It. What thematic synergy? What a blessing. Wow. And guess what? You know what I think about that drop? Yeah.

It stinks. I calm down, Milani. Here we go. That was from... Wow. Listen to this. Mitch is naturally musical. Let's get him on the charts.

Love. Dropmaster Jeff Oakley. And Jeff, you know what? It didn't stink. It was great. It was a good drop. It sounded a little bit like Duhast. A little bit, yeah.

Let's get our guest in here. We've kept him waiting long enough. Returning to the show. A writer and comedian. A host of the new movie and TV podcast, Galaxy Brains. Dave Schilling is here. What's up, Schilling? Wow.

It was so hard, guys, to sit here letting you do John Leavitt's impressions and not offer my own as well. Wow. Such restraint on my part that I was able to not do... It stinks. I feel good to do. Jay Sherman, the critic. It stinks.

I think it stinks is up there with dough. I think it stinks is great. I love the critic. A fantastic program. It's so funny. Yeah. And it's also very funny to make a catchphrase out of, it stinks. You're leaning into it once the show starts.

Put that on a poster, guys. Put that on a billboard on Hollywood Boulevard. The critic. It stinks. And then everybody will tune in. It's great. It's true. You know, of all the shows that have been rebooted, why is there never any talk of a critic reboot?

Is it a rights issue? Is Al Jean just too tight up with the Simpsons? Are Al Jean and Mike Rice not on speaking terms? Mike Rice. What's going on there? I think Al's probably pretty busy. You know what I mean? Yeah.

He is busy, but also it's Mike Rice, you fool. Oh, Mike Rice. Fuck him. All right. Sorry for mispronouncing a name I'd only ever read. I worked with these people, Wiger, and I have respect for them. I delivered them lunches multiple times from various delicious Chinese restaurants. And I think I know what they want to hear on this podcast.

It's true. You know, it's funny when you're like, if you were going to get Chinese food, like half the room would be like, oh, what the fuck? It was just a job where everyone was just getting mad at you. Who had the coolest order of anybody? Who had the best, like most rad? Like, yeah, that guy knows about food. I wouldn't say anyone had a quote unquote cool order.

What was the most radical, like hip order? What was the one where you're like, damn. I'd say like the best orders were like just like someone like getting like, I'll just have like a veggie plate or something. That was, you know, I was like, that's easy. That's easy as fuck. There we go. Is that one fruit cup?

I mean, that's sometimes people would just get a fruit plate and that would be great. Amazing. I feel like Dan Grayneed would get just a fruit plate occasionally with cottage cheese. Easy as pie. Thanks, Dan. I'm out of here. Hey, you wrote the summer of four foot two. Classic episode.

A great episode. So thanks. Thanks for the episode. Thanks for the order. Here I go. And then I would run off and get the fruit plate. It was easy. So you complimented him every time?

Thank you for the summer of four foot two. I mean, it's a great episode. I should. It's a good episode. Every time though, I just feel like he'd be like, all right, can you just leave me the fuck alone? Who is this guy? Okay.

He's a fan. Fire him. And now here's the thing with the summer of four foot two. It is, it's like a Cape Cod episode. So I loved it especially. It's like a great. Yeah. And it also like reminded me of like, I would sometimes go with like friends, families to

the Cape Cod. And I like felt like Millhouse with all the, my friends, dads, you know, how like Millhouse is like just there. Like that is like, I feel like that's the thing a kid in New England can, and I'm sure across the country can relate to of like going to some summer house with a, with a, like another family and being like the Millhouse, no one really wanting you there. That's how I feel when I'm sitting here waiting to be introduced on the podcast. Just there.

I mean, they can just have a conversation. It's fine. I'll sit here and twiddle my fucking thumbs. You're no dud. You're not the, what is, what is, what is the, the loser card in dream date? Yeah. It's the dud. It's the much beamed.

Definitely a stud. If you ask me, you're no dud. Hotty boombalotty. If you ask me. We're all studs here. Yeah. Studs only. That's the dough boys policy.

Yeah. Studs only. 2021 studs only. The macho factor is at a 12. Hey, speaking of studs, your co-host for Galaxy Brains, Jonah Ray. Yeah. We haven't, Mitch, we haven't had Jonah on the podcast in quite some time. Yeah.

We're going to get him back. He's probably going to be mad. He doesn't eat much anymore. He's definitely more. Not a big eater these days. And he can, which is great because he kind of taught me how to eat a better, healthier diet. He's, I mean, he looks the best he's ever looked in his entire life.

He is like, he looks like a super model. Jonah. That's amazing. Yeah. It's really shocking. I see him and I'm like, that guy's actually handsome. He stopped doing comedy. Here's the thing.

Jonah, you've now passed the test. You're a stud. You get to come on in 2021. There you go. Studs only in 2021. Wow. You've upgraded to the stud. You've upgraded to stud.

You can come on. Didn't we have Koalic on last week? Are you saying he's ugly? No, no, no. Koalic's a stud. I'm just, I'm just making sure that we've had studs on recently. Yeah. You don't want somebody on the wiki or like the, the, the discord coming back and saying,

actually, we have a four not studs confirmed for 2021. So I'm going to have to call it a tell leger that he's wrong. Why? Cause I got a haircut too. I've, I've, I've, I've, I've got a, I've shortened. I've trimmed my beard. I've cut my hair. It's studs only.

I have a haircut on the horizon. I've scheduled a haircut past my, my, when my vaccine threshold lapses and finally going to get my hair trimmed. You're going to have to sit this up out buddy until you stud yourself up. Yeah. I have fully smooth balls. So I feel great. Well, I'm not, not talking about pubic grooming.

Not going to take care of. Yeah. I mean, I would hope so. I would, for God's sakes, Nick, I hope you're keeping it clean down there. Yeah. I've been waiting to get an appointment. Man. I've been locked down this whole time.

Man scape. We use man scape. Why? Man scape. Wags, are you, are you, are you, are you getting back out into the world, Dave? How about yourself? Are you both getting out there? Are you going around seeing things, doing things now or what?

Oh yeah. I'm sucking and fucking all over the place. Wow. Wow. I went to a movie last night guys. I went to a movie. Okay. This is something I haven't done yet.

What was the movie experience like? Well, it was a screening for the film, a quiet place part two with your good friend, John Krasinski. Wow. I love him. He's a Red Sox fan, right? He's a boss. Fucking John.

We love. John Krasinski. I fucking love that guy. God damn it. I, I, you know, it's, it's been, it's been, I showed Wags and I was doing an audition the other day and my boss and accident is just creep back so much. It's bad news. I got to get fucking rid of this thing.

It's, it's, it's, I sound like shit. I mean, I usually sound like shit, but I just, I hear it. I hear it. It's really crept back in. Shilling. You've seen the movie, which is going to be my movie back and I'll tell you why. Because a quiet place part two is the pandemic. It's the apocalypse movie.

It's the movie of the pandemic. It's the movie where there are still a quiet place part two posters up from a year and a half ago. Like that is the one where you look around and you'd see a quiet place part two. And you like, it never came out. The pandemic ended and never, it never happened. It was like the one that was like being advertised big time was getting pushed. So to me, that is the perfect comeback movie.

That's, I think what I'm going to choose. I'm going to do a quiet place too. And then F nine, of course, F, F nine, whatever, F nine. F nine. F nine. Yeah. We already know when you see the F, you know what the F stands for. It's just fast.

Yes. Fast nine. Yeah. Control command on a computer. It is the name of a movie. Quiet place part two. Really good. But like you said, this was the movie that everybody was like, it's coming out.

It's coming out. It's not coming out now. It's no longer coming out. Right. So there was somebody in the screening last yesterday who said, I've seen this movie already. I saw this movie a year and a half ago and now I'm seeing it again. But this time it's, there's plexiglass all over the theaters and like people wearing

masks that I can't take my mask off. And it's very strange. It's sort of like wild. The theater itself is apocalyptic because it's, there's hardly anybody in there. They're showing movies. Nobody wants to see. Nobody's going to see that Jason Statham movie until it's on streaming or something. No one's going to see it.

Yeah. But I was glad to go. I was really happy to go. It was fun. The movie's good. It's just weird. Everything's weird still guys. Is it going to be like, is there going to be a bit of a Mandela effect of like, it actually

came out before the pandemic that might start happening. People are going to claim it came out before the pandemic. People are going to swear by it that they saw it before the pandemic. Wags. Also, if that is the way, if that's the way theaters are set up, I just, I'm looking forward to getting back to these dough boys live shows. Wags. You know what?

Create some separation from us in the audience, you mean? Yeah. We should have plexiglass up pre-pandemic and as long as we need it. I think, I mean, look, you know that I've said this to you, but I want to do dough boys live in Key West. Yes. Don't worry. There'll be plenty of separation between you and the audience because everyone's going

to stay home guys. I don't know if we're ready for dough boys live movies. Dough boys live in Key West. I want to pull an adaptation on Weiger. I don't know. You want to pull an adaptation on me? Yeah, I want to. Do you mean like, wait, what are you specifically referencing?

Well, it could be one of two things. In my head, I was thinking about getting you eaten by gators. Like getting fucking. That happens in adaptation. It's been so long since I've seen it. I thought you were going to try to find a twin version of Nick Weiger. No, no. That's where I was going.

Donald Weiger. Donald Weiger. It's Charlie Kaufman, right? And it's twin. Yes. Yeah. Larry Sneasman. I think they have the same last name.

Yeah. They think it's twins. What are you talking about? Donald Kaufman. Larry Sneasman. Yeah, like Larry Sneasman. Because it's a counterpoint of cough. Cough and sneeze.

I mean, I understand. I understand it intellectually. I just don't like it. You don't like Larry Sneasman? Is Charlie Kaufman's brother? I don't care for it at all, really. I think it's quite objectionable. I would prefer you have not said that today.

Let me ask Malaney. It stinks. Oh, no. Stop talking about him. He's going through a thing. Jesus Christ. Wags, I was thinking either you get, you get, what does it call when the gator fucking, like a, the spin of death?

What? I don't know what you're talking. Are you thinking of tornadoes? Is this a wrestling move? No, this gator like gets you into like a grappling move where it's like the spin of death. Right. Like this is like, this is like the F five. Okay.

It's a wrestling move. Brock Lesnar does this to you. This is a finisher. Or the other thing was that you could be crying about wanting to be a baby again, like Meryl Streep, which is a great moment in that movie. Yeah. Something we can all relate to. It is great.

It's true. It's heartbreaking. It's a heartbreaking moment. We could never go back, Mitch. Why is he going to watch adaptation again? Great movie. I haven't seen that since it came out. I really enjoyed it.

I like the work of Charlie Kaufman, but I haven't revisited it. I was, I was, you mentioned the quarantine movie. You mentioned the apocalypse movie. And I was like, there's one of those in the last of us, the video game. And I looked it up. Donna the wolf part two. So there's another part two is the, the movie that's like all the posters everywhere in this frozen in time reality.

See, I think it's trolls world tour. That's the movie that I really think of when I think of the pandemic. Because it did come out. Remember that was the first like new movie. We're just going to dump it on the on streaming. Good luck. That's like 20 bucks. If you want to make your kids forget that there's millions of people dying.

It's like trolls and shut the fuck up. That's the trolls world tour experience for me. So I think of the pandemic when I see those posters. That's a, that's the alt. That's the alt title for the dough boys tour. Trolls world tour. But let's reuse the posters, but Photoshop your faces on a little troll. Which troll would you be Mitch, the purple one or the pink one?

I think I'd be purple troll. I agree. That trolls got a badass attitude. Yeah. Hmm. Well, we can move on. I guess if we must, I don't know. Yeah.

There's so many other things we could talk about here. I don't know. You guys have notes since when I've, I've notes here. But my only note on the list on this list is Larry Sneasman. Okay. So you had that ready to go. I drove the conversation towards that chamber ready to unload. Want to know, want to only know Larry Sneasman.

Dave, I have a question for you and it's a, it's really just something you brought up earlier, which is that you have altered your diet this year. You are vegan, mostly vegan. What, what, what have you changed nutritionally? Yeah. So I have a cheat day, which is today actually, cause it's my girlfriend, Hallie Kiefer's birthday. We're going to move someone Frank.

So I'm going to have a steak. Wow. There you go. But I mostly eat vegan and she cooks. Hallie is a great cook in addition to being an excellent podcast host. Her podcast ruined is way better than mine. Just kidding. Mine's the best.

She makes vegan food every single night and she really takes great pleasure in doing this. I am not a misogynist. I'm not like you have to cook because you're the lady in the relationship far from it. No, she just really loves it. And so that's kind of changed my diet because instead of like being really compulsive about what you eat, we can plan our meals, we go to the store and it's kind of a routine. And you know, she'll ask me like, which one do you like the best this week? And I'll say, oh, the, the chickpea stew is better than the stir fry or whatever.

Like that's really been a game changer. That said, are there times when I desperately need fast food? Absolutely. Thank God. The fast food industry has embraced options for people who are making dietary changes. So you can go get an impossible whopper, hold the cheese, hold the mayo. You're good to go. You can do your thing.

It's amazing. Yeah, that's huge. The impossible whopper in particular has been like, I feel like it's, that's been huge because there's so, Burger King's are everywhere and it tastes great. Like, like I always get in his default form because I'm, I'm no meat chili eat, but I still eat dairy and eggs. But, but like, like you were saying, yeah, it's so easily made vegan or I think near vegan. Because I'm not sure about the bun, honestly, but you like, you can go, it's a good point. But it's so widely available.

Like that's, that's like a huge thing. And that's a game changer. And it also like scratches the itch in the same way that trashy, like, like you want your fast food to be trashy, like you, like when you have that craving, you want to be having something that you know is bad for you. You don't want to belabor this point in the podcast, but you don't necessarily want like the whole wheat bun and the sprouts and the avocado and no cheese. And you know what I mean?

Like you don't necessarily want the healthy version of it. You want the trashy version of it just without the meat. Yeah. If I'm going to go hard, if I'm going to break my rule, I want it to be at least an approximation of the thing that I miss. Otherwise, what am I doing? I might as well just eat, you know, a bag of Faro dry. I was like, eat it like this, like cereal or something.

I'm not going to do that. I want to have a fast food burger. Dave, I will tell you why gave me a bit of fake news there in that BK buns vegan. Wow. There you go. Well, you can be, it's surprising how many things there are that have like eggs in them or, you know, some sort of trace elements of dairy. I'm shocked.

Like I get the avocado toast from, from Tartine in Silver Lake quite often. And you have to ask for it to be made vegan because they're, they like sprinkle some butter on there. So I have to be like, okay, no butter. Don't, don't sprinkle any like Parmesan or any, any of that shit on there. Just the avocado and the bread. So this is a, it's a complicated decision that you're making, but I was a vegetarian until I was 18 years old.

So it's actually kind of nostalgic for me as a man creeping towards 40 to go back to a diet that I was keeping when I was a younger person. So what was that switch going back in time? Like, what does that switch like when you decide to start eating meat for the first time as an adult? Um, it was an in and out on the way back from LAX because I had gone to Israel for my bar mitzvah and we don't have to talk about Israel. Okay.

I don't want to talk about it, but I went. Let's get into all of it. Israel, Malaney. Yes. Let's just really have it out on dough boys this week. Shall we? Um, I went to Israel and I was away from my mother, my father who were very strict vegetarians. I said, today's the day.

My first hamburger is going to be an in and out hamburger because I'm a California and I will, I refuse to have some sort of trash from McDonald's or Burger King or God forbid something, uh, you know, from the East coast, whatever. Like, is Culver is a thing that they have on the East coast? I don't know. And I don't cover the Midwest. All right, whatever. It's all the same to me.

If it's not California, it doesn't matter. Anyway, had an in and out cheeseburger changed my life. Changed my life. Wow. So I was 13 when I had my first burger, but then I had to go back. Wow. To not eating cheeseburgers until I went to college. Hmm.

That's, that is hard. Once you get the taste. Yeah. Uh, East coast, we got wall burgers. Uh, we got the venerable chain wall burgers, which existed when I was 13. We got wall burgers. We got Krasinski burger. Um, right.

Who's Captain America? I forget his name. Chris Evans. Uh, yeah, we got Evans burgers. Is there a, no, Chris Pratt's from Washington state, right? You, you would know. Pratt is from Washington. Yeah.

Pratt is from Washington. Uh, who else is, is there anyone else? Chris Pines got a burger. Oh, Pine burger. We got pine burger. Pine burger sounds good. Pine, go for it. Chris Catan has a burger.

They all got burgers. Everyone's got a burger. We got Catan burger. And we also have mango burger. We got this. It's strange. They're all disappointing as this act out. Oh, equally as disappointing.

I'm enjoying it. You are. Okay. Good. Someone is. Keeping up, Mitch. What other Chris's do you know? I said Peepers burger, which why it's liked.

Are we? So is, is what we're following here. These are famous Bostonians or favorite or famous Chris's. I mean, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's shifted to Catan. And now it's just Catan stuff. Okay, got it. I can't allow you to continue this. We got the rocks.

We got the rocks burger. Oh Christ. Yes. Fuck me. Stop it. You got the Tom Yaki burger. No, no, no. No, no, no.

Okay. No, no, no. Don't talk about him now. Okay. Tom. Yeah. Hey, I don't like Yaki. That was at your Bostonian.

That's my Jimmy Stewart. Oh, okay. Hold on. All right. Okay. And sorry, sorry. Everyone more. You got the, the Corky Romano burger, which they call the Porky Romano.

Porky Romano. That made me laugh. Thank you. For a beef burger. Yeah. It's called Porky Romano. It's got bacon on it. It's got bacon on it for pricing.

It's a bacon, the ultimate cheeseburger. Okay. But it's Corky Romano themed. I think it should be called, I think it should be beefy Romano. Okay. That doesn't rhyme at all. Why would you do that? I like beefy Romano.

But then you made it worse. Beefy, like a Parmesan. Oh, like put a cheese in there. I like that. I like that. All right. Shilin, guess what? What?

Why did I both suck? Listen, I told my publicist what she said. You would go adoboize. I was like, no, they suck. And she's like, I know they suck, but there are people who listen and they're going to want to hear what you have to say about your new podcast, Galaxy Brains. It's true. Let me ask you that.

I want to follow up on your diet again. So like, okay, so you started eating vegan for the most part this year, it feels like. Yeah. It was around this year. Yeah. So when you have your cheat days that you mentioned, like, is that just, are you just going ham or just going for it? Or those like days where you're just like, I still need to kind of exhibit some restraint.

No, I'm kind of mostly going for it. I think these days when I think like, yeah, this is, this is obscene. A frozen DiGiorno pizza and a bottle of wine is not healthy. And then if I do that, I will pay for it. I'll feel terrible the next day. But yeah, for the most part, you know, I think I'm pretty much just like, I really am going ham. I'm not feeling bad about myself because psychologically I kind of need it.

I can't completely abstain. And good for you, Nick, that you are so, so good about this. It's the cheese that I miss the most. It's not the meat. Yeah. It's the cheese where I'm like, God, I really, this is, nutritional yeast tastes like crap. What is this? Yeah.

This is not Parmesan cheese. This is just junk that someone scraped off the bottom of their shoe and said it was nutritional yeast and it tastes terrible. Dave, what's your goal? Are you going to, is this just the same? To be ripped as fuck, dude. That's it. Oh, wow.

Just to be fucking shredded. Yeah. Steads only. Yeah. Just totally studs. I mean, I saw how much weight Jonah lost. Jonah really transformed his physique just from like eating a better, healthier diet. And I kind of, I don't know about you guys, but I gained a little bit of weight during the

pandemic. And I feel self-conscious about it all the time. I was feeling great right up until like a couple weeks before the doathon, which Nick and I both just fucked us up for like a month. I'd say four weeks. It just fucked me up. And Dave hopped in there. Things were helping out.

Oh yeah. Of course. Was it four weeks ago already that that happened? No, it was like, it was the, it was the lead up to it and then like the couple weeks after that we just, we were, we were just, we were fucked. Yeah. Did you do any like sleep training, like keeping awake so that you didn't like pass out on your microphone?

Like, all right. Today I'm just going to stay up and I'm going to drink a bunch of Diet Coke and I'm going to watch reruns of 30 Rock and I'm going to be fine. Is that what you did? Or did you do something else? I'm doing that most nights to stave off Freddie. So, okay. Cause he does come into your dreams and yeah, he can kill you in your dreams.

That's true. Yeah. Wiger's been, here's the deal. Wiger was hanging around high schools too much. So Freddie accidentally started coming into his dreams. Oh, what? He was around high school kids too much. And then like Freddie was like, huh, what the fuck?

Where am I? I'm in Wiger's dreams. And then he attacks him with Doe Boy's microphones. Right? Wags. Yeah. Yeah. He tries to sappy with the Doe Boy's mics.

What are you doing there on the high school campus? Nick Reader was teaching a book about teen mating habits. What were you doing? You making fast times at Ridgemont High too? What's going on? You know, just making sure campuses are secure. You wandering around just in a big log trench coat like, just making sure everything's safe.

I got it. Nope. Nope. Everything's fine. Oh, police? Oh, no, no, no, no. I got it. I got it.

You can go home now. Yeah. I think that went over really well. Very popular. What has Freddie been, what has he been doing to you in your dreams? Honestly, we've just been hanging out. We'll get along really well. What about the Lakers?

What do you think, Freddie? You think I'm going to win this year? Oh, baby, when the Lakers ruin the championship, it's going to be a scream. We'll be back with more Doe Boys. Welcome back to Doe Boys. We are here with Dave Schilling discussing this week's chain, Yard House. Last reviewed in 2017 as part of a part of Jock Doberfest with Matt Besser, Mitch. Wow.

Yeah. Blast from the past. Holy shit. This is quite a reputation that I have to uphold. If Besser did it before me, god damn. We went to Yard House. We went to Yard House with Besser, the three of us, had a meal. Wow.

What the hell? Founded in 1996 in Long Beach, California. Founders named Steel Platt, great name. Now owned by Darden Restaurants, which owns Olive Garden and Longhorn Steakhouse, and has 80 locations nationwide. Schilling, you been to the Yard House on prior occasions? Yeah. My ex-wife and our son live right by a Yard House in Maria Del Rey, and so it's one of

those places where if you have kids, if you're kind of like, I don't want to, I don't feel like cooking today, where can we order food? The Yard House is the place because it has every single food item on the menu. It's sort of like Cheesecake Factory, if instead of hocking cheesecake, they're like, just come here and get drunk. And that's great. You know, that's the kind of thing I'm looking for as a father, as an ex-husband, as a boyfriend. I'm looking for a place to just unwind and just get belligerently drunk.

Yes. It's, as you mentioned, is a sprawling menu. They've got a little bit of everything, including a lot of vegetarian and gluten-free options, which they have clearly labeled in the app, and I assume the IRL menu, which I appreciate. Mitch, how about, I mean, I can't remember if you had prior Yard House reps before we visited with Besser back in the day. So the Yard House was an interesting thing in that I know there was one that was put in where I went just a couple of days ago to get them in legacy place.

Like I know people liked Yard House, but I don't know if I ate at one before Besser. I feel like maybe I had been in there for a drink or something. I don't know. I got to revisit the tapes. Honestly, this kind of puts me on the spot, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I did Yard House that much, but it's not a place that I go to often. That is for sure. Yeah.

I mean, especially in the last year, when we went with Besser, we went to the one in Burbank, right? That's right. Yes. Okay. Which I don't know if that's still open anymore. I don't know if I've survived the pandemic. I don't have a lot of experience with it, but I will say I think favorably of it.

I think it is like kind of like in that cheesecake factory zone. Like I think it is like, is it as good as cheesecake factory? I don't know. Like that's what we're trying to figure out today. I'll tell you what I thought when we get to it, but it's one of those places that's like, it doesn't seem to have like as much of a hook to me. Like it is. I think Dave nailed it and that is just like a place where you go and get fucking shit

housed. Yeah. It's sort of like, you know how Buffalo Wild Wings is very much focused on, you're coming for the game. The game's on. Why are you going to watch the game with your boys? What about it? The Buffalo Wild Wings.

Yeah. This is not quite like that. It still has that vibe. It still has that energy, but it's a little classier. It's not bright yellow. There's no like giant Buffalo logo. Nobody's like trying to like upsell you on things and it's not quite as silly, but at the same time it is that same milieu.

I would say it's, yeah, by comparison, kind of a dimly lit place. Yeah. I would say you're right. It's a Nosferatu approved Wags. It's a place where Dracula's would very happily come and feel safe because the lights are low. Dracula wants to go watch NHL playoffs and they go to the yard house. It's true.

It's a dimly lit, like you said, a little bit sexy, but it feels like it's trying to be a little bit more classy than Buffalo Wild Wings. You know what? That's something Cheesecake Factory does too. You know, Cheesecake Factory, it's like a movie theater. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like the same sort of light as a movie theater.

I think the comparisons are valid. I mean, certainly in terms of breadth of the menu, yes, it is a catch all. It has everything. It appeals to a wide variety of tastes. As far as, yeah, it's more of a traditional sports bar, honestly. B-Dubs is kind of its own thing. B-Dubs, I think, is trying to kind of feel like almost like an arcade or a casino. It's kind of got more of a higher energy vibe.

This is a little bit more of a laid-back place, even though it is ostensibly a sports bar. I have some history with the yard house just because it's from Long Beach. The original is in Long Beach and I've been to the original a few times and I think it's a solid option, I would say, is my overall assessment. What we should get into this particular visit? Yeah, why? Yeah. Back in 96, did you hit up your yard house at all?

When it opened up. I don't know if I went the first year, but within those first few years, yeah, I was over at the yard house chopping it up for sure. I was definitely there before I could legally drink. I was going to make some joke about you being old, but you know, I don't know. Right, yeah. You kind of moved back. Did you go there and get yourself a tankard of ale and how did that feel compared to when

you had your first drink after prohibition? Something like that. Yeah, yeah. Something along those lines. Because Nick Wager is a Dracula. That's right. I want to suck my own dick. Okay, all right.

So the app is good for yard house, but it is a little hard to make modifications and that's one issue of like, I'll talk about one item in particular where that bugged me. Is there a standalone mobile app? There is. You can get, there's a yard house. There's a yard house app. Right. It's pretty good.

Nick, I ordered off of the browser, the mobile browser, and it was constantly crashing. It would lose my cart. It would just freeze on like the kids menu and I'm like, okay, I got to get some kids stuff, but I need to order real food. It was horrible. The entire mobile browser app, or not app, but platform, the site is broken. Mr. Yardhouse, fix that shit, please. Dave, it's funny, I ordered from the, I ordered from the mobile website, the safari mobile

website. Yeah. I didn't have as much problems, but I did think it was a little tricky. It was weird. Like, I didn't know when I was at it. Like it was like, did that add or whatever? I didn't know there was an app. I would have used the app.

So I would have happily used the app. This is good reconnaissance, good information for later. But hey, the app sounds like it sucks. No, it doesn't suck. I mean, I'd say it's fine. It's just the one liability is that you can't really easily make modifications or more specifically can't always make the modification that you want. Like for instance, Natalie got herself a salad and she was like, no corn in the salad.

That was an easy substitution, but I wanted to change the cheese on my Beyond Burger and that was just, there was no way to do that in the app. So I'll get into my order. So my starters, I got the hot and spicy edamame, which is just edamame with a and kind of rolled around and garlic and crushed red chilies. But this is one of my favorite items. I thought it was nice. I thought it was a great little, a little treat, you know, I am, I am a bit of a heat

seeker. I like, I like spicy foods and this one had some decent heat to it and it actually worked well with, I mean, I'm sure someplace else has done this. I'm sure they didn't, they didn't invent this idea, but this is kind of the first time I've seen edamame not just prepared simply, like, like, like having like a bit of a sauce that coated all of it and it works surprisingly well. I thought this was, this was toothsome and it was under that snack section. I appreciate when a menu has a differentiation between snacks and appetizers, like the smaller

sort of snacks. And this one was, hey, it was tasting like a snack. I also got the garden wings, which are there, which is their fake chicken. Now, Gardein is a, is a fake protein made from soy and wheat and, and peas and it's manufactured by Conagra Foods, which is a really shitty, you know, massive agribusiness conglomerate. So it's, it's, you know, this is like old school, this isn't like the beyond or the impossible.

I also got them and they were fucking terrible. Yes. That's what I was going to get to is, is, I was going to say, we got them. It sounds like, it sounds like a bad corporation and like a trauma film. It does. 100%. Yeah. Conagra.

It's like, it's, they're not even making it effort at sounding, um, at sounding not menacing. It's sounding like a, you know, it's, it's a, it's a bummer to be supporting them financially, but then they're also, they're one of those businesses that's so omnipresent it's impossible to not do that. Anyway, I will say Dave, yes, these were bad and, and they, and texturally they did not at all deliver in what I wanted from, from a, a wing, uh, even a boneless wing, like they just had a weird sort of, uh, like, like not quite crunchy, not quite like a, like a, like a burned marshmallow texture.

Yeah. And I thought the, I thought the sauce on the Korean wings was good, but the, the whiskey wings had, which was a whiskey black pepper had a weird like banana-like aftertaste. Oh boy. And Natalie detected it too. It was really unpleasant. It was like you'd eat, you'd eat something that would be like kind of, kind of savory and have a little bit of spice to it.

And then afterwards it would just taste like bananas. It felt, it felt wrong. Hold on. My least favorite thing in the whole world is bananas. Sorry, Mitch, what were you going to say? I was going to say the minion king is upset that something tastes like banana. I don't want an unexpected banana. Like if you, if I, if I know what I'm getting, that's fine, but if it's like a little trick.

That's bullshit. Yeah. No, I agree. Like you don't want to be surprised. What if Kevin says an unexpected banana? That's a different context. And if Kevin's around, you're kind of always expecting a banana. Okay.

All right. Fair enough. I mean, it sounds like they were rotten. I don't know why they were veggie wings. It seems like, why would they taste like bananas? I think it's just a bad product because the sauce is gross. Yeah. I got the lemon pepper and I got the buffalo because I almost got the whiskey and I thought,

you know what? I should get the buffalo sauce because that is going to approximate a wing closer than just smothering sugar on it. I think I made the right choice because the buffalo flavor was the best of the two that I had. The lemon pepper was basically nothing. It was basically just like eating tofu or, you know, tofu covered in whatever came out of your vacuum cleaner that day.

Like you clean your vacuum cleaner out and you go to tofu with that. It was God awful. Thank God they give you a little cup of ranch to soften the blow of this disgusting appetizer. Please don't get it. Please never get it. They have so much a garden fake chicken on their menu that I expected like, okay, this has got to be pretty decent. I almost got the garden orange chicken as my main and I'm glad I didn't because just

the wings were enough and I don't think I'd get them again, unfortunately. But yeah, those were my apps, bitch, what did you get to start things off? Well, Wags, we went over to the Dedham Yard House at Legacy Place. The same theater where I saw Last Jedi for the second time with family. What a memory. Nice. What a memory and had to be like, yeah, that was fun. Anyways, I got myself four appetizers, Wags.

I got a couple of things here. I got the avocado toast, which I can give you a little description of it. The avocado toast comes with avocado, toasted artisan bread, crushed avocado, whipped feta, red onion, arugula, and baby tomatoes. You know what? I had one of those bad boys. I liked it quite a bit. I thought it was quite tasty, Wags.

I liked the smoothness that that whipped feta added to it. It was there was a nice creaminess to it under the avocado, a double cream. I got a bit of a double cream. Wow. Yeah, I was going to say, that might be too much cream for me. I need some sort of crunchy texture, like you put pine nuts on top of it or something. How was the bread? Was the bread toasted properly or was it kind of soggy?

Of course, the issue with travel is you're afraid of the sog, but it wasn't that bad. The travel pretty well and it had a nice taste to it. It wasn't the winner of the apps, which I'll get to, but I also got the poke nachos, which is marinated raw ahi tuna, crispy wontons, avocado, serrano, serrano chilies, white truffle sauce, sweet soy ginger sauce, sriracha aioli, cilantro, green onions, nori, sesame seeds. These were a hit. Some loved these. I thought these were really good.

My only complaint, and I maybe would just go straight up, no nori. They put so much nori on it. It was fucking covered in nori, just a ton of nori. But these were good. Here's the thing with these bad boys. The chips don't really, they don't really sog. Those crispy wonton chips and the way that this thing is put together, you're not getting sog like you usually get with the regular nachos.

So they worked, they were big hitwags, but they weren't as big as the number one hit, which was the firecracker shrimp. We got the firecracker shrimp, which is tempura shrimp, sweet chili sriracha, crispy rice cake, sweet soy ginger, green onions, red pepper threads. I guess it is threads in cilantro. And that was really fantastic. I really enjoyed that firecracker shrimp. It was great.

We were having a blast. All three appetizers were good. The firecracker shrimp was the best. Do you want me to get into the smaller things I got before the main? You got snacks in addition to appetizers. I get snacks. So I got a house salad, and I was going to have, but there was too much, I ate too much. So I had that the next day, and why?

I just tossed the croutons, because the croutons were a little bit soggy. I tossed them in some tinfoil, put them in the oven, and they were fantastic. So it's a mixed greens, baby tomatoes, carrots, croutons, white cheddar, balsamic vinaigrette. That white cheddar really stands out on this house salad. So I ate this the next day with half of my entree from this order, but I won't tell you what the entree is until I get to it. A second day salad. That's amazing.

I would like to say it's on the Doughboys, and I went wild, but my Doughboys credit card doesn't work because it's back in fucking LA, and it's expired now, so I just use my own credit card. It fucking sucks. What a jabroni you are. Yeah, I actually ran into that same issue. So like our cards expired in like April, and then the new ones got sent to our corporate PO box, which no one has checked in forever.

I guess I could go. I just don't want to. Don't? Yeah, you could go. Don't put yourself out, you know? Make it difficult on you, Nick Weiger. That would be a waste of your time. Don't do it.

Yeah. In fact, Caroline Anderson and Vincent, her husband, they helped me out when I'm out of town, and they have gone to the mailbox, Weig's, and you have not. They have looked at the mailbox, and they say that there's boxes with holes in them, and they open up, and there's just bones. Well, you think that was like an animal inside in the early dawn? Yeah, don't be sending us animals, you freaks. We're just going to end up with a skeleton.

We're going to end up with a bunch of skeletons. We're not going to know it's there. That's how your PO box gets haunted, okay? Don't do that shit. Ha, ha, ha. Would that be sad if you had a ghost in your PO box? I got to write that movie. That's good.

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's gold. That's a good one. Alright then, Vincent and Vincent, they rule. Great people. Great people.

Caroline's all excited about BTS and McDonald's. Are they doing the McDonald's meal, BTS? I think. Oh my God. I think I smell a double coming up. Wow, okay. That's tight. A sentence said in a different context sounds revolting.

I think I smell a double coming on. Oh God. That's me after my meal tonight at Mousseau and Frank. Oh, I got a double coming on, honey. Jesus. Don't come in here for at least 15 or 20 minutes. Jesus. Have you guys had the, this is off topic, but have you had most of the McDonald's musician

meals? We've had a few of them. The Travis Scott one. It is a burger. It is a burger. Yeah, I think the issue is some of them aren't super, it's just like, oh, these are three menu items that you have in a combination. It's nothing particularly exciting, you know, like, give me some customizations, give me

something new, give me a justification for ordering this specifically, not just like, I like getting a double cheeseburger, medium fries and a vanilla shake. Like that's fine. Yeah. But where's the novelty? Yeah. I don't want to get off on a rant here, but I got some beef with McDonald's that we can talk about off of air.

Wow. Yeah. I got some problems. Too hot for dough boys. Too hot. This has got to be behind the Patreon paywall because I'm, I will ether McDonald's. For what they've been putting us through lately. That's all I'll say.

That's all I'll say. I'll just leave it on the table and someone could pick it up from me later. I fucking love it. Um, well, Dave, let's, let's talk about our current chain yard house. What did you end up getting app wise beyond the garden? Okay, great. Um, I also got the, um, spinach dip. Let me tell you fellas, don't ever order the spinach dip when you're eating.

Wow. Never, ever, ever, ever. Because you know how you get the spinach dip and it's like, there's some like some stretch on the cheese and it's just like bubbly a little bit and there's a crisp stuff on the top. You don't get that when you bring it home. You get a big mess of basically savory Jell-O when you take it home. Oh God.

It's actually more like a casserole really, like, or a souffle of spinach and cheese. And I just left with this awful, like empty, burbly feeling in my stomach. Like there, like someone like, like burrowed a hole into my belly and then just like emptied out my guts. It was awful. Shilling. This is, this is so sad to me because we tried to get this. We couldn't get it.

It wasn't available. So we went, I think we, I think maybe that's what caused us to get the, uh, the firecracker shrimp, which was great, but honestly, you nailed your order. Something that you, you got was something that I thought I would have that if I was eating fish, um, in this meal, I would try that. I would enjoy that if I was eating meat. No, I just cut nothing but bunk absolute bunk. That's such a bummer.

I want, I wanted to try that spinach chip, but happy I didn't. It sounds bad. Oh, it comes with also like a big, uh, like a box of chips, summer tortilla chips. And then summer, I thought they were matzo. They looked like, like it was pressed over. It was almost like a flat bread, crackery thing with like sesame seeds on it. And then they, they haphazardly just dump Parmesan cheese all over the chips. I'm like, why is it here?

It just settles to the bottom of the box. And then what do you want me to do? Lick the cheese out of the box? I did happily with pleasure, licked every single drop of that cheese. Uh, that's an item. I would never think, yeah, I would never think to, to get spinach dip to go in normal times, but obviously we've not been living in normal times. But yeah, that makes total sense.

And of course it doesn't travel. Of course, it's just going to turn this collaguated, uh, mass, well, a spin, a spinach dip that Popeye would even reject. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Popeye. Even Popeye would reject that.

He said Popeye would be like, Popeye, why did you say it like that? Mitch. Popeye. That's how he says things. That's how I say things. Goofy. All stupid. He says stuff all stupid.

Uh, I also just, just for reference, I also got some kids food. I don't know if we want to talk about that here. Please. Okay. So now, um, so we got the grilled cheese sandwich for kids that came with fries. We got the mac and cheese. For some reason that also comes with fries. I guess when you're a child, that's a perfectly normal meal.

But mac and cheese and fries is not a normal meal in my opinion. Um, and then it comes with like an apple juice or a soda. Don't get your kids soda, by the way. It's not good for them. So I got, I got Ozzy, uh, my son and apple juice, uh, he asked for both. He asked for mac and cheese and a grilled cheese. I said, what do you want? Do you want a mac and cheese?

You want grilled cheese? I'll have a mac and cheese and grilled cheese. So we got both. Um, the mac and cheese actually pretty good. Uh, it's not like a Kraft mac and cheese. It's still like real cheese and stuff, but clearly they've made it less flavorful for the child. So it's almost like butter, uh, instead of cheese.

It's pretty good though. He hardly touched it. I ate most of it the next day. And then the grilled cheese, stellar, maybe the best thing that I had the entire meal was the grilled cheese sandwich because they buttered and toasted the bread to perfection. It's a stunning, really nicely composed and constructed grilled cheese sandwich. This is really wild because you guys are getting, it sounds like this was not a great experience for either of you, but I haven't even gotten to my bite of the night wigs, which is coming

up because we got, we got a, there's, they offer street tacos and there's a bunch of different street tacos. We decided to get the grilled Korean, Korean beef taco, which is ribeye sweet. Uh, I can't sweet broccoli. I can't say what I can't say the word, uh, sweet broccoli, slaw, sriracha, aioli, green onions, sesame seeds. Was this the bite of the night wigs? It was, it was the bite of the night.

It was the, the fucking Korean beef barbecue taco was amazing. My mom and I both loved it. It was great. Um, but there was other things that were up there too. Should I, should I tell you what my entrees were? Should I get into the mains? Let's get into it. I got two mains.

Well, first of all, I also got myself an alcoholic beverage because we were at yard house. They got alcoholic beverages to go. I thought you might as well get one. You're at yard house. I got a gray goose strawberry. I got a gray goose strawberry mule. Um, and it was tasty.

A road cocktail. I didn't drink it on the road. I brought it home and it was, uh, it was, it was, it was a nice cocktail wigs. They did a good job with the strawberry mule. I'm always worried about a road soda because then the ice melts. Did, did, did they separate the ice or anything? Like, how did they manage the temperature on that road? So the ice was not separated.

It was, it was pretty much just, you know, like a, an average amount of ice and it was about 20 minutes. So a little bit of that at first, but once, you know, once I started sipping on it, it was, it was pretty, it was pretty tasty. There was a little bit of a water down factor, but it was 20 minutes. There was a little bit of a rainstorm. So it wasn't that hot. What was the temperature like outside?

The temperature outside was around the sixties. The, the green sludge of pollen was washing off the car. It was a little, uh, it was around, it was around 60 degrees, but it was, uh, it wasn't, it wasn't too hot. So maybe that helped with the road soda going home. How did you feel emotionally? Emotionally, uh, my mom and I, I'm leaving a few, uh, emotionally, I felt bad, I guess. Well, thank God you got that alcoholic beverage.

Am I right? Something, something to sell the old nerves. Yeah. Um, I, uh, so I, I enjoyed that. And then my two mains, I got, so there were a couple of, one of the, one of the reviews on like the, you know, when you just Google yardhouses for this lobster garlic noodles, uh, people like this lobster garlic noodles. So I said, I'm going to get this lobster garlic noodles.

We'll see how the hell it is because we're in Massachusetts, you know, New England, they got good lobster wigs. My mom can always, she can sniff out frozen lobster. That's, she's good with that sort of thing. Should we all, we've grown up on seafood out here. Um, this is frozen lobster. Michael, we're leaving. Mom, we're eating at home.

Mom, why do you sell like Ruth Gordon from Harold and Maude? We're leaving Michael. Oh, she, she just walks out of the house. Um, this comes with it's main lobster, shrimp, crab, shiitake mushrooms, honey, spinach, Parmesan. This is overwhelmingly garlicky. It's very, very garlicky. Uh, I didn't think it was that bad for what was in it.

I like, was just interested in this dish, especially because people liked it. I don't know how I feel about a big seafood, seafood platter where you get shrimp in lobster and crab. I don't know if I need everything. Like, I don't know if I need it all in the plate. You know, this, this was kind of a little bit of a let down, uh, especially for like a big entree, you know, and I'll tell you what hit the wigs. The, the, our sandwich, we got a sandwich.

We got a French dip sandwich wigs. And when you think like, what do you, when you think about like the lobster noodles, the garlic lobster noodles or, or a state or a French dip, you think that the lobster noodles will probably be the better, you know, the higher quality one, this French dip was fantastic wigs. It was really good. I think a lot of that is probably just context. Cause I think like, you know, is yardhouse going to do a good lobster?

This kind of, it sounds like what you're describing is kind of maybe an Asian fusion dish. I could be wrong. Like, are they going to do a good interpretation of that? Or are they just going to do a classic, like a French dip a little better? I think the French dip might be a safer bet. But yeah, the other one could potentially have a higher ceiling. Which is to, to, to, you made a great point there.

It's just that it is Asian fusion. The restaurant itself, it's a strange menu. It's a lot of stuff. Yes. Yeah. But it is a fucking weird menu. It's like, I would say it is partially, it's like American Asian fusion. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's an interesting menu.

But yeah, this was the roast beef dip. It comes with swish. Sorry. Swiss horseradish aioli swish. It comes with a Nike swish horseradish. You just got basketball in the brain. Uh, yeah, I can't wait to see the Celtics. They've got those playoffs.

You ready? Are you ready? Can't wait to see the Celtics get put in the ground tonight. Yeah, me too. It's going to be awesome. Swiss horseradish aioli, French bread, azus and fries. And I upgraded to truffle parmesan fries. Oh hell yeah.

$2 extra. That's it. And you get a totally different French fry experience. The fries at yard house, fine. The truffle parmesan fries elite. Great. Yes. We, we, we, we, we got into the car.

Those were on the top of the bag. They were, they were right at the top of the bag. I looked at my mom. I said, look, we're going to travel for 20 minutes. Should we just have a few of these parmesan fries? Get in those fries on the road. Yes. That's the move.

My mom said, if this is fake truffle, I'm going home. That's what she said. And mom, we're already going home. We're talking about, she got out of the car. She started walking on the highway. But we, we ate them and we were, we, we really loved those parmesan truffle fries, but that roast beef dip, damn, it was good.

Why? Cause it was good. I obviously had a very different experience from you guys. It was really knocking things out of the park, left and right. Yeah. Everything about this meal sounds fantastic. I'm somewhat of a libertine when it comes to fish. So the fact that they had thrown everything in there, all the

seafood, oh, I love it. You nailed it, man. God, damn it. It was, it was, it was, it was good. It was good. It was a good meal. So there's two factors that I think probably separate your experience from mine and Dave's.

One is that I think you, you know, obviously the meat, but I think Dave, I would wager that we went to the same location. You mentioned Marina Del Rey. Is that the one you patronized? Cause that's the one I picked up, I picked up my order from. Yeah. The one on, uh, Max Ella. Yes.

So I wonder if that was maybe either they were, it's always possible it's a down location. You know what I mean? It's always possible it's one that maybe then again, you were saying your previous experiences have been solid there. So. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think it goes back to the decision to have a

vegetarian meal and the meal culprit in this entire boondoggle, this, this whole kerfluffle between me and Nick and the yard house, it comes down to Gardein. Gardein dropped the ball. Gardein is in a sense, uh, Jason Tatum, um, oh my God, this entire season just dropping the ball, just not, not achieving what we know he is capable of. And that's yard house in this, in this situation, in a 60 point

game. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You think the Celtics are going to actually play in the actual playoffs? Probably not. Jalen Brown got hurt.

Oh boo hoo. It's all about results. And at the end of the day, the Lakers have won how many championships since, uh, the last time Boston, uh, won a championship. Let's see. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta subtract those Minnesota Laker, uh, championships.

But look, I'm going to say this talking about the Boston Celtics played an NBA with zero black people. We should subtract those championships if we're going to subtract any championships. No, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, Bill Russell, Bill Russell. Yeah. Yeah.

He was like Bill Russell. He was like six inches taller than the tallest person, other person on his team. He was a giant. He was a freak of nature. Yeah. You had the one black person in the NBA for years. Of course he won 11 championships.

This is fiction. Children. You were playing kids. You were playing Martin Short and Clifford. This is, this is, this is fiction. This is, this is what I'll say. This is what I'll say. Paul Pierce in the hall of, in the fall, the hall of fame.

Why? The fall of fame, the hall of shame. And then Joe Brody's and scrubs. Also, Mike Gorman, great announcer. Uh, he also got into these. He's going into the hall of fame as well. So that is the only plus side to the Celtic season. A very, uh, not a great Celtic season.

I'm excited for next year. Brooklyn Nets legend, Paul Pierce. Brooklyn Nets legend. I don't know if you saw the HOF Clippers legend, Paul Pierce. I don't know if you saw the HOF ceremony, Mitch, but they also inducted another famous Celtics, um, Aaron Baines Hogg. The hog of fame. Yeah.

His, his, uh, his huge fucking piece. Tommy Heinz and marveled about on the air is, uh, is getting enshrined. Baines and then, uh, John Hamm. Who else is going to the hog of fame this year? Uh, Kyrie Irving should. I told the story on another podcast recently. I saw that thing. I saw it.

Oh, wow. Wow. That boy is, uh, hanging, uh, like deli meat down there. Like, you know, those big salamis that are hanging in the window of a deli. Yeah. That's what my boy is packing. Dear Lord.

This is going to make Mitch matter than you, uh, insulting the Celtics championships. It's a Kyrie Irving as a big way. A nice fat piece. Only, only if I heard that it grew since he left the Celtics. That's the only way I'd get. Sadly it has. You know, he keeps that motherfucking thing on him, man.

God damn. Wow. Anyway, yeah, I think I really do think to go back to Yardhouse, uh, because you're going to be sad enough, Mitch, after this game is over, uh, for the Celtics tonight. It's just not the Gardein stuff is bad. My entree was the Gardein chicken avocado sandwich. And I thought, okay, this'll be fine.

You know, chicken, avocado, Swiss cheese, uh, it's all good, whatever. The bread was like industrial bread. Um, the avocado was misplaced. Um, there was no other sauce on there besides some mayonnaise. I guess I could have put ketchup on there, but don't put ketchup and avocado in the same universe. That's just gross. Yeah, it was just bad.

It was bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. And I think Yardhouse really does excel when they're doing kind of above board, upscale, 90s, late 90s, early 2000s style food. You know, the place is like a P.F. Chang's, a cheesecake factory, where they do these kinds of really, um, absurd, uh, decadent, uh, silly kind of fusion-y meals. Everything that Mitch got was something that you expect to have at a really great, uh, late 90s, early 2000s chain that is just trying to blow your

butthole open. It's just like whatever stupid thing you could think of, we're going to do it. Yeah, it was an impressive outing. I gotta be honest with you. I, this is funny to me because this is a place that I heard is good for vegetarians and vegans. So this is, well, this is shocking. I'll say this, they have a lot of vegetarian options.

I just think like to Dave's point, a lot of it is the garden. And if you don't love that protein and I don't know, unless you have nostalgia for it, I don't know why you would like it. It's, uh, that's a liability for a lot of their offerings. I did get a Beyond Burger. They do have a straight up Beyond Burger, which is nice. That's a great, that's a great protein. Uh, that's a, you know, like a next generation protein from a company that

seems a little bit better than the Conagra foods. And their Beyond Burger was pretty good. The, the individual, the individual pat I got was a little burnt. They'd overcooked it a little bit. That's, that's fine. Uh, it was still, it's still quite tasty. The issue here is that I think the, that I wish the burger you could customize at all because the only version comes vegan.

And it's like, that's just not what I want. Like let me, let me put a, like a slice of cheddar on that or something. Let me put some like mayo on it. There's no way to customize it in the app. I'm sure if you were ordering in store, you could just say like, Hey, give me what, give me this burger off the menu. Give me the barbecue cheeseburger, but just put a Beyond Patty on there. That would have been a better, uh, concept.

This is just like, it's vegan mozzarella. The vegan mozzarella was, was gross. It was really just, just glue like, um, as was the bun. Uh, the bun was, uh, what the bun was, was pretty disgusting. And I had to discard it and just kind of eat it on its own. And then it's crushed avocado, arugula, crushed avocado, the only moisture on that. So there's no condiment other than the avocado itself. Uh, arugula, red onion, tomato, and pickles.

I took it off of the bun and I, and I squeal, I, you know, I, I shot some mustard onto it and it was fine, but it was just like, yeah, I shot some ropes of mustard on it, all over the place. It was great. Me and my boys got together and we shot some mustard all over it together. It was great. So cool. Uh, it was, it was edible like that, but in, it's in the form in which it arrived.

It was pretty, it just, it just needed some work. Uh, it did, that said, Mitch, it came with a, a vegan version of the side salad. So it just didn't have the croutons and it had a vinaigrette instead, but that was quite good. It was like, it like, it was like pretty fresh produce, had good tomatoes in it. Uh, I thought the salad got the job done. Uh, Natalie got a salmon cob salad, which she thought was like, you know, fine. Um, the salmon was overcooked, which we expected.

It's, that's, you know, I could have a fish that's going to, a piece of fish that's going to arrive at temperature when you're driving at 20 minutes home. And then we got the mini cheesecake brulee, uh, to end things, which is, you know, a great, talking about like nineties hits. Like this is like kind of one of those nineties chain restaurant desserts. And there was a good execution of it. This caramelized, crispy sugar topping, which gave some nice crunch to it. A good flavor to the cheesecake.

And I had some fresh strawberries on the side, which are nice. I thought this was a, this was a very solid dessert. Uh, any other offerings from anyone? I got dessert as well. That was it. Yeah. I mean, the kids stuff, I did not get dessert. I got, I got, I got dessert.

We actually ordered two desserts. Well, cause I go all out, you know this. I got bread pudding with creme anglaise, creme anglaise. Oh boy. Um, I'm not saying that, right? But, you know, who gives a shit creme anglaise, creme anglaise. I got some creme anglaise creme anglaise. And I also got chocolate fudge cake.

Now here's the deal. We pull up into the spot because we were doing curbside pickup, which by the way, it just like didn't work. I just went inside. Um, but we pulled up and we're sitting there. I'm like, oh, we're 10 minutes early. I'll go like, I'm just going to go in a second. Which I never expected them to do the curbside pickup anyways.

I just, we were like, let's see how it goes. If we do that. And then when we got there, I was like, I don't want someone to do that anyways, but I thought that there would be a system like outback where you just drive up and get it or whatever. And there really wasn't that. So I was like, I'm going to go in. I get a call on the phone, uh, this extremely nice, uh, server.

She called and said, I'm so sorry. We're out of the chocolate fudge cake. You ordered, but then since then it's gone away. And she said, can I get anything else? And I, and I was about to say, just forget it, or I was going to maybe add like a chicken dish, but I said, you know what? I opened up the app. I said, let me get that brookie.

The brookie is a cookie dough, fudge, brownie, chocolate and caramel sauces and vanilla ice cream. I said, let me get the brookie. So we got the brookie and the man toe of brownie and cookie. That's right. That's right. Why is the, kind of like a bazookie, but with brownie in the, in the mix, right? That's right.

That's amazing. Yep. That's a great idea. So, and the bread pudding with creme anglaise was vanilla bean and caramel sauces, vanilla ice cream and powdered sugar on bread pudding. The bread pudding was nothing spectacular. It was, it just didn't, it didn't have a good bread pudding consistency. It wasn't, it wasn't great, but it was, it wasn't worth the calories as, as you

would say, why is it wasn't worth the calories? Um, the brookie was fantastic. I'm so happy we got the brookie because we both, my mom and I both love chocolate cake, chocolate cake rules, big fan of chocolate cake. We really wanted it. And the brookie fucking hit a home run. The server was spectacular about it. She was great.

It was ready. I said this in the car and then I went in and it was ready within like three minutes. Uh, and also she said, she said, here's a tent. She gave me a $10 coupon, two yard house because, because they, because they didn't have the chocolate fudge cake. So she, she went above and beyond. She was, she was fantastic. She was great.

Uh, and I, she gave me the card and I said, and here is your tip. And I gave the card back to her. Uh, and then I was on my way. I mean, it sounds like you went to the Cadillac location and Nick and I went to kind of like the, uh, the Edsel location, the DeLorean location. Like that's a shame. I did, of course, tip her and she was great. And, and, and, uh, was the, the denim, uh, yard house, big thumbs up, great service,

great food, Wags, I loved it. I'm going high. I just got to let you know, I'm going high. I can ask before you, before you give us your forex, I got to ask two, uh, follow up questions about the brookie question. Number one, does it typically come in a cast iron skillet? I'll allow the Pazuki. Ooh, good question.

Question, question two, is it warm? When you're supposed to, is it supposed to be warm when you eat it? And then was it warm when you got home? If not, did you reheat or did you kind of just do it, you know, uh, you raw dog it, so to speak? Dave, great questions. Thank you. One, yes, it is supposed to be warm.

It was warm when, when, when I, when I got home, it was still warm. Uh, and that was probably at a menu, at a picture of it on the menu, uh, the photo they have on the site does not have it in a skillet specifically. Looks like it's just on a warm plate. Okay. Um, it was, mine, mine was warm in them, but by the time we were going to eat dessert, I put both that and the bread pudding in the microwave. I nuked it for about, uh, like 20 seconds each and then they were both great.

Um, also why, cause here's an issue is, um, I now, now I owe my brookie a hundred dollars. My, my, oh boy. The killing of a Chinese brookie. My favorite John Cassavetes movie of all time. Ha, ha, ha. My, uh, yeah, my, my brookie's been, my brookie's been calling me. I, I owe my hundred dollars. You're going to break my legs, my brookie.

I'm glad we went there. I'm so, we saw that one through. The brookie was fantastic. The brookie was great. It was worth it. Skillet or no skillet. A great dessert. I loved it.

Topped off a great meal. Why? Cause this is one of the best chain restaurant meals we've had since I've been back. Wow. I'm, I'm shocked. Wow. I'm gobsmacked. Well, on that note, we should get to our final thoughts on this week's chain yard

house. So Dave, you've done the show before, but just a refresher. We'll each go around, give a summation of our thoughts, a closing argument, if you will, and end that by giving it a score from zero to five forks. You are our guest. Yeah. We'll begin with you. Great.

Guys, I was looking forward to this meal for days, maybe multiple weeks because I hadn't really eaten at a yard house in a long time. You know, now that my son is a little bit pickier about what he eats, it's not as easy as just going to yard house and getting a bunch of junk and coming home. So I was just like over the moon thinking about this place and, you know, all of the, the truly fetid delights that you can get only at a 90s gastropubby style chain like this, you could just get anything in a place like this. And it's, it's so liberating to have that choice as opposed to some people who might

find that choice stultifying or, or, or, or limiting like the, the idea that you could have anything is daunting. I'm excited by it. I love the challenge. And I think, you know, I could blame yard house all day, every day. I could say yard house fucked me over and made bad food and they're disgusting. I could say that. I could say that right now into this microphone.

Guys, I won't do that. Cause it's not yard house fault. It's not. It's conagra's fault. It's garden's fault. What I received was a perfectly normal meal from a perfectly fine yard house location. But what I did was I trusted that in 2021 chains like yard house have started to take vegan and vegetarian items seriously.

It seems, it stands to reason that that is the case that now people are really accepted for their dietary choices and they're taking these dishes seriously. I was wrong. I was wrong. They do not take it seriously. What I had was awful from the wings to the sandwich that had no flavor whatsoever. I want to blame yard house, but I won't do it. I'm going to blame myself and I'm going to blame conagra foods.

For me, uh, choosing to eat those, those dishes when I should have known better and conagra being so, um, dismissive of my dietary choices, but they would make these disgusting hockey puck style, um, vegan options that no one, no one should be forced to eat. It was appalling. The best thing that I had the entire meal was the children's mac and cheese that they purposefully make less delicious. That was the best thing I had. And it is my fault first and foremost for being bad at ordering.

Look at Mitch's experience. Mitch is going to give this five forks. He might go six. I don't know. He's going to blow this entire rating system out of the water because he had a stellar experience. He got great customer service and the food was delicious. So I can't blame yard house because it is possible to have a great meal at yard house.

I just didn't. So what am I going to do? How do I split the difference? How do I not punish yard house for my mistake for con agra's mistake? I'm going to have to give this three and a half forks because, because I can't, I can't in good conscience give it two, three seems too low. Three and a half feels like, okay, I'm, I'm recognizing the shitty meal that I had, but I'm also not burying the chain.

So that's that. There you have it guys. I hope that I made my case and that people understand why I'm, I'm giving the rating that I did. I think it's a very, a very fair rating. Thank you. They got it. They got to step, they got to step up there.

They got to step, step up their vegetarian vegan options. They got to change. They got to, they got to make the change. Wags. That's got to happen. Or at least in the menu, say this is gross. Like at least you don't warn me. Let me helpful.

They have trigger warnings on things now, or like if you watch a, you know, wrestling on peacock, they say, this is kind of racist. Just tell me the food's gross. And then I want to order it. Right. And you know, I, those motherfuckers at peacock editing my shit, my, my, my attitude, error, shit. Wags.

I want to see Roddy Piper in blackface. Otherwise, why am I watching wrestling? That's another, that's another conversation. I, I would have stopped doing that. We'll put that for, put that behind the paywall with your McDonald's thoughts. Yes, please. My hot takes on why racism should be in wrestling. All right, Mr.

Slice, what's your, what's your, what are your thoughts? What's your fork rating? Wags. I was thinking it will yard house go the whole nine yards or in this instance, the whole five forks. Wow. I don't know. It's good question.

Um, the food was great. We really enjoyed ourselves. It's a different sort of place. I guess the question that we always say is what is this place trying to do? You know, which to me, yard house. It's kind of an interesting place where I'm like, I don't really know, but I do know that the end result is that I enjoyed the food. And look, unlike you guys, unlike Sublime, I did not take the trip to

Gardein Grove. I didn't have any of that. I didn't have any of the Gardein. I didn't have any of that of the Gardein selections. In the Gardein of good and evil. So many puns from you today. What's in the water in Massachusetts? I don't know.

I, I, I am being very punny today. You got a little giggle juice in your boy. I got a little giggle juice going in, in, in, in, um, it's the cheese at catalyst. It's the cheese. I'm ready to go back. I'm ready to go back to yard house. Wags, I'd go back.

I do it. I, you know what? Here's another pun for you. I do it all for the brookie. What the brookie? So you can take that cookie and stick it in your mouth, stick it in your mouth, stick it in your mouth. What do you think of that?

Wags? That is dry, worthy boy. Yeah, that's drop bait. I would do it all for the brookie. Exactly what you're doing. I, that, will you be surprised if that's off the top of my head? All these shitty, these things that are zeros. You're shocked when a zero, I pull out a zero and you think you're like, was

that beforehand? It's a zero. No one will like it. No one likes what I'm saying. I liked it. Yeah, I left. Yeah. This is for us.

Yeah. All right. Don't worry about the people who listen to this pod. Pretend that the audience isn't here. Not that you ever don't. Then if it's for us, then guess what? Yard house was for me and it was for my mom and we had a good time. We enjoyed ourselves and the service was great.

And they, and even though I was disappointed that it had that chocolate fudge cake, they gave me a $10 gift certificate. I can go and get that chocolate fudge cake, which maybe I will because if, yeah, if the chocolate fudge cake is as good as the, as the brookie, then I'm going to be on cloud nine and they, you know what? It is going the whole nine yards. Wow. But in fork term terms, which is nine forks would be 4.5.

It's getting to 4.5. Wigs, 4.5 forks. So you didn't go full five. I didn't go full five. No. Yeah, I was, I was waiting for you to unload the clip on me and be like, five, fuck it, but you restraint, restraint. 4.5, it's, which equals out to a score of nine.

If you double it up, yes, it went, it went the whole nine yards. It didn't, it didn't go 10 yards. So yeah, not like the sequel, you know, it's the original film. Yes. But I, my experience was great. Thumbs up. The Yardhouse. Call up Besser, get him out.

Dave, let's bring Besser back. Wow. What a quartet that would be. Finish the trilogy. Finish the trilogy. This is the rise of Skywalker of the Yardhouse trilogy. Oh, no. Oh, yes, we're going to get Babu Freak in the air.

It's going to be awesome. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ho, ho, ho. Carrie Russell's character. Whatever she was. What's her name? I don't know. Felicity is fine.

Who's the Babu, who's the Babu Freak of the Doughboys world? That's a good question. Yousang. Yeah, the Yousang is the buyout. It might be. Ho, ho. He's a regular freak. He's always saying that.

He's a super freak. He's a super freak. So, I think both of your cases are well argued. To Dave's point, yes, the Gardeen is just such a it's really weighing everything down and I hope they figure out some beyond chicken or there's another alternative chicken protein that I've seen them. I can't remember the name right now, but I feel like they've got to figure something else out because it's so dominant in their menu and it's really

just just very bad 20 to 21. Give me Morningstar Farms. When I was growing up eating vegetarian, Morningstar Farms always hit. It's not vegan. It is vegetarian because it has some sort of like dairy product in it, like probably eggs or something, but it's delicious. If you ever had Morningstar Farms, Nick, you know, this is the this is the Cadillac.

This is the this is the Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon of vegetarian meat. It's definitely better than what I got from from Yard House. And I will say that the, you know, it says they will be on burger. I think it's the menu seems accommodating to vegetarians, which is nice, but it just wasn't a particularly satisfying meal. To Mitch's point about what is this place trying to do? I it's a little bit tricky to evaluate because I don't think this place is trying to do takeout.

They're doing takeout by necessity because of the pandemic and, you know, going to the Marine Del Ray location to pick up my order. It's people are making merriment in the outdoor patio. Like that's what the place is for. It's for getting together with your friends and having some brew dogs and having some apps. And and that's beginning to become a reality that we can revisit. But the food on its own to go, I think, was not particularly exciting,

particularly from a vegetarian standpoint. So I am going to go, I think this is still good enough for this meal, still good enough for a three fork threshold. I'm going to say three forks right down the middle, four yard house. And there you go. Yeah, yeah, I think that's fair. And it's fair for you. You're not blaming yourself for this.

So the extra half a point that I gave is is really my own shame and embarrassment. That's what that is. That's what that represents is my own pathetic order. My my big dumb face going in and saying, could I have all the grossest things on your menu? And they said, of course you can. You fool, that's on me. I want you guys to go back and have a good experience there.

I like I said, I I had that roast beef dip the next day. I put I just wrapped it in tinfoil, put it in the oven. I put some of those leftover fries, the the the what's it called? The Parmesan truffle. Thank you. The Parmesan truffle fries. I put some of those in the oven and I put the the croutons from the salad. And it was fantastic. It was like a great a half roast beef dip and in that how salad.

It was a great lunch and a couple fries or like 10 fries left. But still and then that horseradish dipping sauce was great, too. Wow. I my like the meal the next day was fantastic. Like and that doesn't even usually happen. So I it really just it was hitting home. It was hitting homers. Why is left and right? It was like the two thousand twenty one Red Sox.

It's Mookie Betts. It's Mookie from last year in the World Series. How could you give up Mookie Betts? But I don't know. They're good again. So thank you. I think I I think I owe it to Yard House to go over there, pop a couple tops with some of the fellas

and really give yard house a go. Like I'm not going to write this chain off just because I had some tepid vegetarian food. I'm going to go and I'm going to meet yard house in the middle. And I'm going to go try that firecracker shrimp. I'm going to try that French dip. I'm going to pop a couple tops with the homies and we're going to see if we can have a good time.

Maybe, maybe, maybe I will go to the yard house in in downtown if it's still open. If not, Maria Del Rey during the NBA finals. Wow, it'll be so sweet. I love the LeBron James hoisting number 18. Well, I slam a couple beers with my friend, Nick Weiger. Hell, yeah. Yes, by the way, your team is also in the play in just to be clear.

So that was strategic. OK, that was on purpose. It's going to work out great. Yeah, it's no way this can backfire. This is going to be fine. This is 4D chess. LeBron is smarter than all of us. And he knows this is the way in.

This is the way in to the championship. LeBron is smarter than all of us, which is why he didn't get the vaccine. I hear. Yeah. Did he get sick? Nope. It's no, he didn't. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, I think that I think if you've traveled into the WB verse,

you are now immune to covid. Yeah, he got he got the he got the real vaccine from Don Cheadle. Can't wait. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more dough, boys. Welcome back to dough, boys. We're here with Dave Schilling. And hey, it's time for a segment. I've got a food related exam

and Mitch and Dave must compete for superiority. It's another edition of Slop Quiz. Oh, no. Celebrity booze part two. Wow. That's right. I've got a list of celebrities. You tell me if they have a wine, beer or spirit that they've let their likeness to and a bonus point

if you can name the brand. So like I'll say if I were to say, you know, John Hamm, you say beer, wine or spirit. And if you know the name of it, then you get a bonus point. So that's how you're playing. I don't know who's clear. Famously sober. But sure. OK.

So then in that case, you would maybe say like he doesn't have one and I'd get a point. And then it'd be like, what's the name of it? And it'd be like, you idiot, he doesn't have one. There's no name for it. And you get a bonus point. OK, cool. So that's how that would work, I think. Splendid.

By the way, I will say we were going to do a snack or a whack with the aforementioned earlier in the show, Jason Tatum's Flamin' Hot BBQ Ruffles, which you guys were not able to find. I found some at my corner store. And when we were going to do it from the podcast, I just had them anyway. They are maddeningly good.

No, they are so, so good. They're Flamin' Hot BBQ Ruffles. They are so, so tasty. They might be my second favorite ruffles flavor. The mix of hot and sweet is so good with those those rippled chips. I fucking love it. Just a delight. Yeah, everything is Flamin' Hot these days in the snack category. And most of the time, it's great.

You know, I'm not a Flamin' Hot Cheetos guy, but I know people who swear by him. I'm excited for Flamin' Hot mixed with the with the delicious tangy sweetness of a barbecue. I can't wait to find these. I just hope that a different basketball player is on the package. Oh, no, no, no, they're Jason Tatum's chips. And also, you got to get a sub from Subway.

I'm going to say this and I bet you a lot of people aren't going to believe me, but I am actually the person that created that Flamin' Hot flavor. I it's like it was years ago. I visited the Frito factory and I was like, you know, it'd be good. Is a Flamin' Hot flavor. I told the CEO and then that's, you know, sooner or later, they take what?

This is this is just like your story of escaping the Twin Towers with Steve Ren is easy. It's just that's right. Mitch, I hope you get there's some holes in this. I hope you get a bag of these. Jason Tatum ruffles because the only time you're going to see Jason Tatum in the month of June is on that bag of chips. Wow.

Because they're getting eliminated too. I love it. But how? Well, they won't they won't get especially eliminated tonight. They will lose tonight, though. I agree with you. They're in the seventh day.

That's right. Yeah. So they'll then get eliminated then, you know, whatever in two days or three days or whatever. But wouldn't it be fun if they came back and they beat the the Nets if they came back and beat the Nets? No, I mean, OK, it'd be kind of fun if they beat the Nets because the Nets are pretty loathsome and the Celtics have no chance to get to the finals.

So I would laugh a lot if they did beat the Nets. I would. I think it would be funny if they beat the Nets. But here's what I wish they should decide. They should have signed Isaiah Thomas. That's the only way you get over that bad karma. You signed Thomas back. I don't know why Angel didn't just sign him to be a bench guy.

He should sign him loathsome front office moves. Terrible trading away, Isaiah Thomas. And the fans hated it very, very bad. Everyone hated it. The fans hated it. Like, of course, we got Kyrie from it. So everyone was like, OK, that turned out great. Yeah. And it turned out horribly.

But and we loved. Yeah. We loved everyone loved it. They loved they loved Thomas. And then he and obviously he was going through personal stuff. It's it's very similar to Mookie Betts. No one wanted Mookie Betts to go. We were saying that, but we were like, they're going to trade him. What the fuck? People were mad about it.

Yeah, I want to get to the slop quiz here real quick. But I got to ask you, what is with Boston teams and getting rid of their most beloved popular players? Why is that? Is it because Boston expects the worst and gets worse than that? Oh, my God. Wow. Is it because Boston is a culture famously here for desert? Is it because Boston's a cultural desert?

I know it was. Yes, I have. Dreadful, the dreadful place. Dreadful built on a built on the hands of slaves. That's all I'm going to say. I said it. That is insane. That is insane. I mean, that's that's also America. That's America.

And America. Anyway, let's talk about the slop quiz, guys. Yes, please. By the way, I want to say, Dave, wait, hold on, I have a counterpoint. Oh, no. Oh, no. I've opened Pandora's box now. I have a counterpoint.

All right. Boston rules. Well, gosh, you got me there. Dave, I wonder if we haven't mentioned it yet. Your tableau on the on the stream yard stream, you have a norms, a nice piece of artwork of norms, La Cienega on fire behind you. That's right.

This is a famous Ed Ruchet painting. I got a poster of this painting from the Broad Museum in downtown Los Angeles, because I love norms. I mean, who doesn't love norms? If you're from Southern California, you'll probably have a lot of really great feelings about norms. Oh, yeah. It's not big boy status for me,

but it is very close to being just a place where I always feel comfortable and I always have just a stellar meal. And I missed that. I cannot wait to go to norms for the first time post pandemic and just sit there, sip some coffee, have steak and eggs or something, have an omelet and just talk to my waitress or my waiter.

Like, it's going to be wonderful. What a great place. What a community asset that we take for granted in Los Angeles. Classic diner. They're there. There may be there's maybe a dearth of diners in LA, but the norms is a great diner chain. Yeah, I agree with you.

Is that as you say, it was watercolor, the the the the painting itself being watercolor, I don't know. Oh, the I just have a poster, you know, the painting itself is worth probably millions of dollars. Well, oh, wow. Yeah, it's it's a famous painting. Ed Ruchet is probably the most famous artist to call Los Angeles home.

You know, I guess Hockney lived in LA for a while. I was going to say, right? I was going to say Ruchet Watercolors, Boucher Waterboy. OK, I I wish I had been able to stop you before you were able to finish that. I took you seriously. This is my mistake every single fucking time you do this. I'm like, oh, let me meet.

Let me let me talk to Mitch as though he's not a complete fool. And I Ruchet Boucher Watercolors, Waterboy. These are both Los Angeles men who we all adore. What do you think of that? Why another great. Is that a original composition? What is that? What is that? Wow, look at you. Well, he's the drip king,

because he's dropping and dripping all over the place. All right, let's get into Slop Quiz. Hey, eat your heart out off book. They could actually make a song. You're going after like the nicest people in podcast. Yeah, Jess and Zach, watch your back. A completely arbitrary beef with two people who've been nothing but nice to us. That's right.

I think that's supportive. We're coming for you. You're generous with our time. And Jess, why? I don't know. Why not? Zach and Jess, I'm going to be back in LA soon. You better watch your fucking backs. Two people who if they hear this,

they'll like call you and be like, hey, man, what's wrong? I'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding. Did I offend you in some way? What did I say about Boston that made you mad? All right, so I'll name a celebrity. You tell me wine, beer or spirit bonus point if you can name it. First up, Danny DeVito.

Oh, my Lord God, I'm going to go spirit. Sorry, I should have said buzz. I should have said buzz in with your name. Buzz in with my name, Dave. Yeah, spirit. Yes, Dave is saying spirit. Dave, you are correct. Do you want to guess the name?

Boy, I'm going to not guess the name because I really don't know. And it would be dumb for me to just say like Zima, because it's not a spirit anyway. It's a malt beverage. So I don't know. Mitch, do you know the name? DeVodka.

It's premium of lemon chelo. DeVito has a lemon chelo. Fascinating. Is that what it's called? Premium lemon chelo. Yeah, Danny DeVito's premium lemon chelo. So when we yeah, let me just get a clarification here because some celebrities own liquor brands

or investors in liquor brands, but they don't really lend their likeness to it. Like you don't see George Clooney doing a bunch of ads for Casa Amigos or whatever. Right. Does that count? I just want to make sure. Yes, there are there are all this encompasses both people who are the face of a brand

and people who are just investors. OK, thank you for that. So a celebrity will have some affiliation with a beer, wine or spirit, including this next one. And again, buzz in with your name after I say the celebrity, Kelsey Grammer. Mitch, sounds like a fucking wine guy. Not wine. You fool.

Fuck, Dave. Well, I got I got the best of two. So I'm going to say a spirit. No, he's a beer. Cheers. Oh, Christ. He's a beer man because of the Cheers Association, Faith American Ale and Calico Man IPA.

Wow, the star of Frazier and Cheers and Money Plane and Money Plane and Dion Periscope and that video where he falls off the stage talking about Disney World. Oh, yeah, man. He said he's had a rough go of it at times, but a good career. Yeah. You saw Money Plane, didn't you, Dave?

I sure as hell did. I watched the whole thing. It's when there's a there's a great vulture feature article about these movies where they hire a really famous person for a day and they squeeze all their scenes in and then they put them on the poster and then they're not in the rest of the movie.

And it's like the rest of the movie stinks. Money Plane is funny in the section that you saw in the in the in the clip. That was all the good stuff that was in Money Plane. It was him saying, do you want to see somebody fucking alligator? And I was hoping at least someone would, you know, maybe fondle an alligator or have some sort of romantic relationship. No, nothing. There's no alligator in the movie.

There's nothing. It's a piece of crap. It's terrible. Don't watch it. You've seen the best part already. In that scene, he's like, it's like a thing to wager on. It's like, you want to bet on a guy fucking an alligator. Money Plane. What are we betting?

What are we betting? Yeah. When he comes, I guess, if he comes before he gets eaten, can this guy blow his load fast enough that he doesn't get eaten by an alligator? That OK, that I would watch. Yeah, that sounds pretty good, actually. Yeah, if I had a guess on when the guy was going to come, who was fucking an alligator, I would guess before he even got his pants down because, you know, he's excited.

He's excited to fuck the alligator. Fully to messant. Yeah. Every man's fantasy. Next up. Post Malone. Bitch. Uh, a beer. Not beer. Fuck. Dave.

Spirit. No, he is a wine man. What the fuck? Post Malone. Number nine. Rose, he's got a rose. I forget that rose is like a thing. Yeah, shit. God. Wine to me still feels so like old.

I don't know. It's interesting. Rose kind of has had a resurgence, I think, with younger people. The who is that fucking guy? The fat you. Yeah, yeah. The fat you has is yeah, he has his own wine. White girl, Rose. That's right.

Next up, you guys might know this one because this is a wrestler and star of the Fast and Furious franchise, Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Dave spirit. That's right. Got tequila, right? You know the name? I don't know what it's called. I don't know what it's called. I wish I did.

Taramana tequila. All right. Two points for Dave. Hell yeah. No points for Mitch. Zero points for Mitch because he's from Boston. Doesn't know anything about drinking. Because their bars close at like 10 o'clock.

The last call is the same as Los Angeles. Is it two o'clock? I think it's like 1.30 and then two. OK, yeah, last call is 1.30. All right, anyway. OK. We're still better. I'm winning, yeah.

Next up, from the Black Eyed Peas, Fergie. Bitch. Wine, baby. That's right. Damn it. Do you know the name? Fergolicious. Oh, well, why would you just make something up like that?

It's really close. It's Ferguson. Wow. Ferguson Crest. Ferguson. All right, Ferguson Crest. I think her last name probably is Ferguson. I think you're right.

She related to Dave. Dave Schilling, you know. I think it's Dave's mom. Why would they? What? No, she's not related to me at all. I was thinking Dave Ferguson for the birthday boys. But if she was related to you, that would be really something.

You guys should have had her do the theme music. Oh, man, that'd be great for the birthday boys. Yeah, you guys blew it. One of your many mistakes. Not having Fergie do the theme music. If Fergie was my humps, if Fergie was Dave Ferguson's mom, that would change quite a few things, my friend. We'd be meeting with some beatings at Ferg's house.

All right, let's go ahead and watch. All right, two more. All right. Beatle Sir Paul McCartney. Dave. Damn it. I'm going to go with a beer. You are correct.

Hell, yeah. He has a beer. Beertal. Beertal Paul McCartney. What is it called? I don't think I'm going to try to make something up like Mitch did. You don't want to say Beertal? It's not Beertal.

I don't think I do. No, it's not going to be a live and let rye whiskey. No, no, no. I would think that would be like a, yes, a Beertals pun or something or even a Wings pun. It's not. It's old stinkhorn. Unless that's a McCartney deep cut that I'm not aware of.

That's some fucking old school British shit. He's too classy to do something that's like gimmicky, you know? Right. We got two more. Mitch, you can potentially tie it or Dave, you can clinch it with this next one. Sweet. Director Steven Soderbergh. Dave.

Mitch. I got you first. I'm going to go wine, baby. What, you didn't beat me? I sure did. I sure did. On my feed, it was Dave was just by a hair. You're out of your mind.

Well, Dave says wine and it's moot because it's not wine. No. So, Mitch, you may have, this may have been a happy accident on your behalf. Wigs, God, I hope I get it. Some people hear it. Some people fear it. I'm going to say spirit. That's right.

Damn it. Damn it. There's no way you're going to get this name. It's Singani 63. It's a Bolivian grape spirit. What the hell? You should give me a point because you didn't even let me guess. He could have known.

You weren't going to get Singani 63. I think that would have been awesome if you didn't know. I knew Singani 63. Give me my point now. Final question. All the marbles here. For the win, actually, Mitch, you can still win if you get the name of the spirit. I just said it's a spirit.

Mitch, spirit. All right, Mitch, you know what? It's a tie. What? Yeah, baby. Rageous. I have never, ever coming back to play this game again. We will sully the good name of Slop Quiz with this horseshit and bullfuckery.

I cannot believe that I've been screwed like this. Dave, I am now, I'm going to do something here. I'm precedent. I'm going to guess the celebrity. You don't even know what the liquor is yet. Jeffrey Epstein. That's correct. Mitch, you lose a point for that guess.

No. Congrats to Schilling. Who is this? You have one. Slop Quiz. Brian Canston and Aaron Paul. Oh, yeah. Either of you know the name of the spirit.

Dos Ombres. Dave, you are correct. It looks like I should probably be the winner here because I knew that. Thank you so much. Dave wins this edition of Slop Quiz. It's a very sloppy edition of Slop Quiz, but appropriately sloppy because that's what the segment's called. Just like a restaurant, you buy your feedback.

Let's open up the feedback. And today we have an email from Daniel, Daniel writes, as a child, the best thing about attending boring parties was the charcuterie board. I would just hang out at the snack table and eat all the different types of cheese crackers and pepperoni. My question to you is when you're having a party, what stuff are you putting on your charcuterie board? I listened to the podcast on my lonely Riverside walks home after work.

It's a long list. San Antonio? Maybe. Yeah. Where is this river you're hanging out by? Is that where the bats are? Is that where the bats are? It's because you live in hell.

Hell yeah. That's not nice. That's not nice at all. I liked it. I do live in hell. There's a bat. Isn't there the bats that fly out from other bridge and fucking test it for some stupid shit?

The bat out of hell bridge or something. I didn't hear the question because you said this has been sloppy. I started thinking about the sloppy boys and they better watch their backs too just like off book. Then also, what did you say after that? I just kind of went on a tangent. What do you put on your charcuterie board, Mitch? Oh, what do you put on your charcuterie board?

That's a robust. A bunch of meats and cheeses. What are you going to have on there? Or what would you like to see on there? Oh yeah. His name was Daniel. I was thinking of the song Daniel Balling John. Why don't you just answer the question, Mitch?

Have you thought about doing that instead of just like, oh, his name was Daniel which reminded me of the Bible because Daniel slew a lion or something. Just go and answer the question. Dan Tufo. That's the song his mom used to sing to him. Daniel Balling John. A great song. It's like a karaoke song.

I'm going to drop kick you very soon. I don't know how to drop kick someone through a computer. Here's the deal. I'm thinking about it. My charcuterie board is it's crackers and cheese. I don't do it. I don't do a crazy charcuterie board. I take whatever the hell is there.

I take the cheese, the crackers and the meat. Do you have a particular cheese you like? Well, yeah, I mean like I like a cheddar. I like a sharp cheddar. I'll get a cheddar and some crackers and then usually like the pepperoni. You know, I'm going for the pepperoni or the sausage. I'm taking a little bit of everything that's on display. There's a charcuterie board.

I'm going to say, well, I'm going to try a little bit of that meat. Yeah, but you're making it. I'm going to try some salami. In this scenario, you are making the plate, Mitch. So you can't just be like, I'll just have whatever is on there. As far as I could tell, nothing will be on there because you haven't decided what you like. So this is my charcuterie board. This is what I'm putting out for people.

Yes, this is yours. You're building it yourself. You made. I'm not putting out a charcuterie. It's going to be blank. Oh, for Christ's sake. Fuck you. I would usually put on there, like this is a, what am I saying?

Because it's not like I'm entertaining all that often or having people over for, you know, and like that's just not my style, but I would like it. I'm thinking about how weird it out Natalie would be if you put out a charcuterie board for her. Is this how you divorce me? Well, first I want the meats and cheeses out and then that'll soften the blow when I tell her that I'm moving on. So we went to this, this gave me a very specific memory from the prior, the before times of going to this, this like wine bar in Santa Monica called Esther's and getting the charcuterie board. That's like, it's like everything on the menu.

It's called the plank. And when we ordered it, we were like, we're just going to have this be our meal. And when we ordered it, they were like, that's for four to six people. And that kind of like made us go like, like, no, this is for us. We're going to, we're going to defeat this thing. And we kind of took it as a personal challenge and we fucking destroyed this, this massive meat and cheese board, which was amazing, but it was also like expensive as shit. And like, we felt so bad afterwards.

But I do like to order a charcuterie board at a restaurant because because it's not the kind of thing I'd really prepare for myself. If I was going to do it, I throw on, you know, like some standards, some, some, I think it's going to have a spreadable on there. I guess if I was doing it on my own, I might do like a like a liverwurst or something. If you're doing it at a restaurant, you might get like a nice, you know, pate or something. I would get like a, I always like a salami. I always like like also to just like a prosciutto. And then I don't know. I mean, just, just, I think there's, throw some crowd pleasers on there.

Throw cheese wise, throw some, throw a soft cheese. Sure, but throw some cheddar and throw some, some pepper jack. Throw some things that anyone can enjoy. Hey, give me an empanada. Give me a little lasagna. Just throw it all over there. Whatever you got. You guys got bananas.

Put a banana on there. Why does it sound like a boss battle? It sounded like you fucking defeated this guy who said you couldn't. It sounded very much like a video game. Yeah. How often were your farts that night? It was, it was, it was unpleasant. It was unpleasant for all involved.

But, but that said, the, it was like, there's like a duck prosciutto on there. There's like a so prosciutto. Just like the, the array of meats was, was incredible and beyond what I would ever get on my own. All right. So now that I've thought this out, I got Daniel out of my, the song out of my head. I now think this is what I would include. I would, I would, first of all, I need some sort of like Ritz level crackers. I don't want it.

I don't want crackers that are that fancy. I want the buttery Ritz type crackers because wags, I'm a man of the people. So you give me some Ritz type crackers and we're good to go. And then everybody knows Mr. Slice loves a delicious Ritz cracker of Ritz cracker. It's great. And then you know what? Some cheddar cheese, some, uh, some, some pepper jack. I think you can do a few different cheese options.

And then for me, I go basic pepperoni or salami. I think, uh, I think I keep it kind of basic and then maybe a couple of mustards and then some cherry peppers to spice and things up wags. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Some, some like grain mustard or something is nice on there. I, I like a, you know, I'm also thinking like a nice blue cheese and then a nice like a, like a brie, you know, again, just kind of very popular cheeses, but popular for a reason.

Maybe if you want to throw like a sheep's milk cheese on there to mix it up. I like a goat or a blue, uh, prosciutto is a must. Honey, guys, you got to try honey on there. And I don't know if you guys are into the Spanish almond, like the Marcona almond. Whew. Those are decadent, decadent. You got to get those at your local deli, uh, cheese, uh, and meat section. I think, I think that I would Ritz crackers, but then also some fucking snooty crackers

for the snooty fucks because I'm a man of the people. And that includes the snooty fucks. You got, you got, you got to make them happy too. Why? So if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're dipping in grain mustard, you got to have some nicer crackers too. So, uh, get some good fresh bread on there. No one can object to bread.

Yes. Place up a fresh shower. Give me bread on a charcuterie plate. I love better than a cracker personally. I like the, the soft bread. Um, when you get that cheese, that good cheese. Uh, yeah, I'd rather be able to actually like rip the bread. You know how sometimes you get the slice, if you're like getting a, you know,

a commercially made charcuterie plate. Yes. Give me the, give me the hoagie roll. Give me the French roll. Let me just rip that thing. Let me feel that, you know, a DIY flavor of the charcuterie. Yeah. There's something that's very satisfying in like, it feels like you're like living in

like the like 1800s. Yeah. If you, if you rip a piece of bread and put meat on it and eat it or just throw cheese on it, there's something about it that, you know, like, like you watch a movie about like the 1800s and that's what they would do. And I fucking, it's satisfying as hell. Love it. It fucking tastes fantastic.

It's great. Yeah. It's like I'm on a pirate ship or something. It's really cool. It rules. Yeah. It rules. Uh, let us know what you like on your charcuterie boards.

Hashtag, charcuterie me. Mm-hmm. And if you have a question or a comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dopeboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. And get the dope boys double our weekly bonus episode. You can join the golden or platinum play club at patreon.com slash dope boys. Hey, hey, Wags. Yeah.

As a pirate, you know what I would hate to see is a shark cuterie. Nope. Dave Schilling. The podcast is Galaxy Brains. Thank you for not recognizing and acknowledging that. Yes, it's called Galaxy Brains. You're right. It's you.

I was on a pun roll today. Shut the fuck up, bitch. Shut the fuck up. This is the promo part of the show. Tell us about the pod and anything else you'd like to promote. Yeah. Galaxy Brains is available wherever podcasts are found. It's from Polygon and Vox.

I host with my good friend and former dope boys, guest Jonah Ray. Jonah and I kind of overthink movies and TV shows. This is the thinking man's podcast. We try to find the most outlandish theories and opinions about movies and really give them their fair chance. We really try to have it out about these movies. For instance, we had a Justice League episode.

Zack Snyder's Justice League. Wow. I have the temerity to say that Henry Cavill is the best Superman. Wow. I truly take that opinion seriously in the episode. We bring on an expert to tell me I'm wrong. She does. She's great.

We did a Godzilla episode with a Godzilla expert named Steve Rifle, who has literally written the book on Godzilla. We talk about the metaphors around Godzilla and what Godzilla means to people in 2021. Our most recent episode, we talked to the filmmakers who directed and wrote Josie and the Pussycats about whether or not Josie and the Pussycats is the greatest socialist anti-capitalist movie of all time. Guess what, guys? They agree with me.

Wow. Yeah, they agree. They're like, yes, we made this movie to stick it to the man. We really get deep. I hope you guys listen. I hope you guys subscribe. Share it with your friends. Review it.

Five stars on Apple Podcasts. Guess what? There's no Patreon attached to this. All of our content is free. Wow. I know. That's big mistake. Yeah, we won't be doing that.

We're leaving money on the table. Galaxy Brains, Dave Schilling, Jonah Ray, check it out. Why is retaking a sip of a mustard bottle or is that just a yellow water bottle? It's a yellow water bottle, but how great would that be if I was sipping straight mustard on this pot? She's shooting mustard. She would have thick, creamy ropes of mustard. Yeah. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys.

Until next time for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya. On the next Doe Boys Double, we're reopening up the feedback. We answer your weird questions, you damn freaks. What do you want from me? We do this once a month. Get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com.

Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description. That was a hate gum podcast.