Doughboys - Yarrrrrctdoughbarrrrchest: Long John Silver's with Long Dong Silver aka Mano Agapion and Brown Plate aka Betsy Sodaro

Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig into your data. Really dig in there, anytime, to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow.

Starting point is 00:00:44 Why, restaurant owners, enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on all orders, offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement. Wow, 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click. Or if you're on your phone, use your finger and click that link. Click that link in the episode description. Published in 1886, strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, they drop the the Facebook style, is one of the most well-known works of Scottish writer Robert Louis Stevenson. And while this

Starting point is 00:01:32 exploration of the duality of man via transmogrifying potions still endures in the collective consciousness, it's arguably topped by his other major work, Treasure Island, a sprawling adventure novel of seafaring and skull-duggery, first serialized in 1881 and then published in 1883. And the story's breakout character was its antagonist, a ship's cook with a dangerous past, much like Steven Seagal's character in Under Siege. This treacherous treasure-covered her became an iconic fictional pirate, establishing the current cliches of peg legs and parrot familiars and had an iconic name. So iconic that when a quick-service seafood outlet opened in 1969 in Lexington, Kentucky, they borrowed the peg-legged public domain pirates nom'd

Starting point is 00:02:13 a plume to become their brand. Expanding throughout the U.S. in the decades that followed, the coefficient ship's monger hit hard times in the 90s, and the then bankrupt chain was acquired by A&W in 1999. In 2002, that company was acquired by Yum Brands and operated under their Yum Brella, along with KFC, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell, but was forced to walk the plank in 2011 and has been seemingly adrift at sea ever since. Stevenson's pirate treasure hunt, Urtexed, has been endlessly adapted, including as a high-concept Las Vegas resort and a sci-fi Disney animated feature film with original songs by the Goo Goo Dolls. But its most well-known derivative content may very well be the salty

Starting point is 00:02:51 seafood cellar that seems to be slowly sinking like a scuttled sloop in the center of the sea. This week on Doe Boys, Yark Doe Bar Chest, a month of pirate-themed eating, drinking, and revelry continues as we return voyage to Long John Silver's. Yark and Avast ye mateys, welcome aboard Doe Boys, ye podcast about chain restaurants. I'm the dread podcaster Nick Weiger, along with my first mate, the pirate of micro-pean zants, the spoon dog, Mike Mitchell. Jesus. Yark, I mean, Yark, Jesus.

Starting point is 00:03:57 Yark to you, my good man. Yark, you're rotten Scaliwags. Instead of Scaliwag, Weigz. You said Scaliwag? I said Scaliwag, instead of Scaliwag. Oh, Scaliwag, okay, I didn't pick up on that. I was moving on to my next bullet point here, which was crediting Mitch, who sent in that roast, Mitch M. This was a fellow Mitch, a fellow Mitch M.

Starting point is 00:04:22 Trader piece of shit. At Mitch Murski on Twitter. Trader. Hey, bullet point in Piratimes, that would be, what were they called? A black powder round. Yeah, but the bullets were like little round bullets, right? Yeah, balls. It was like a sphere, a little sphere.

Starting point is 00:04:44 Little ball points. It would be a ball point. A ball point. That would be a ball point. That was good. That was worth it. I'm glad we litigated that. What the hell were those called?

Starting point is 00:04:53 What was Pirate Ammunition called? Fucking balls. Little balls. They were little balls. They were musket balls, right? Yeah, little balls. Yeah, they were musket balls. Mini-A balls.

Starting point is 00:05:03 Speaking of little balls, Weigz. I got Pirate Names for Wally and Irma, speaking of little balls. Oh, I thought you were going to say I was at the urologist. Oh. Of Wally and Irma. Captain One-Eyed Wally and First Mate Scurvy Irmi. That's the... Cute.

Starting point is 00:05:29 Thank you. Yar, Weigz. I'm looking through Pirate Sings that we maybe just haven't covered this year so far. There's only so many. You think we got them all? There's probably some more obscure one, but I think we got... We hit the main ones. Mmm.

Starting point is 00:05:48 I don't know. Weigz, if you've done anything for Spooky Season, it's Pirate Season, but it's also Spooky Season. Yar! You know what? Tis Pumpkin Head Season, matey. Tis Pumpkin Head Season. Yeah, I mean, you know, nothing particularly spooky scary at this point, although I know

Starting point is 00:06:06 our guests are somewhat of experts in the field. That is true. We can dig it on that. I'm looking through, I'm looking through from sources across the web, you know, Shiver Me Timbers. I don't know if we could do a Doughboys version of that. Dead Man Tells on the Tail. Yeah, I think we said it.

Starting point is 00:06:21 Diff just done Shiver Me Timbers. We'll have to batten down the hatches. Son of a... This is new to me. Son of a biscuit eater. That's a pirate thing? No. What do you mean no?

Starting point is 00:06:33 Son of a biscuit eater. This is, it's new to all of us. All five of us. No one here like had a lot of recognition when you said son of a biscuit eater. So it's not like a common pirate piece of slang. Alright, you might be right. That's like a Southern thing. I'm interrupting.

Starting point is 00:06:48 That's like a Southern thing. Son of a biscuit eater. Yeah. It's something that would be said on Designing Women. Yeah. The Pimento Cheese is ruined. Son of a biscuit eater. Something like that.

Starting point is 00:07:04 I get that. I think you, I think you might be, I think you might be, I think you might be right wise because under son of a biscuit eater is clap, clap of thunder. I don't know what that, you know, some of these are. What? Sink me. There's one that says sink me. What is this list?

Starting point is 00:07:22 Sounds, I wonder if a pirate says like sink me. It seems like it's kind of like. Gay. That's a gay pirate. Thank you, monoper. Sink me. What? That's like when you're choking on a dick so hard you're, you're drowning.

Starting point is 00:07:41 Good God. Splice the main, splice the main brace. That's another one. I mean, look. Get off of this glossary. All right, fine. Here's a drop. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:07:57 Yeah. Yar wigs. Here, here be the drop for today's episode. Yar. Yar. Here we go. I just have to share my screen. And here we is.

Starting point is 00:08:09 Here it is. Why is a little drop? Now why did I just tell, did I tell you what, uh, what happened down there on the bio to me just recently? Brinn and Keldow kill. Yo, do, Yo, do a pirate's fight for me. We better run smaller, we pay without food, drink up before it's your go. We snack and we whack and we sit and sleep and drink up before it's your go.

Starting point is 00:08:42 Yo, do, Yo, do a pirate's fight for me. Five pieces of eight, five pieces of eight. Damn, that's well made. The labor that went into that, the craft. Yar, the craft. Yar, you be wasting too much time. Yar, you loser. Hi, Doughboyz Crew. I hope this drop makes it in time for Yar Doughbar Chest. Hopefully next year, the fine folks at Disney see how brilliant this theme month is

Starting point is 00:09:19 and decide to make over the park with a Doughboyz theme instead of that Halloween nonsense. I love that. Here are the lyrics so you can sing along with your, your mateys. I'm willing to give you both a co-writing credit on this. Since I took some of your ideas, I think this will be the song. Well, thank you so much for the co-writing credit on this song. That will make zero dollars. I think that this will be, I think this will be the song that finally cracks the Billboard Top 10. Okay, that's why.

Starting point is 00:09:47 Breadmen tell Doughtales, Yo, do, Yo, do a pirate's bite for me. We bicker in stutter, we play with our food, drink up me farties, Yo, do. Why me farties? We're not farty guys. I think we said that on the podcast. Fuck. I think that's what it is. We're the thing we said. We snack and we whack and we say that it's good. Drink up me farties, Yo, do. Yo, do, Yo, do a pirate's bite for me.

Starting point is 00:10:10 So we're not farty guys. What are you talking about? All right, whatever. That was my reaction. Thanks for all the laughs this month. McClane, a.k.a. Die Hard Jokes on the Dose Court. That makes sense that you're Die Hard Jokes. McClane, that was great. You did a great job. Very well done, McClane.

Starting point is 00:10:33 Very well done. And Wags, Land Ho, we can almost see the end of this month. We're almost there. That's right. The end is in sight. Guess what? We've, what does it call when pirates kidnap people? We've got two fine hostages today on the show. That's what it is. Parley? Is that a thing?

Starting point is 00:10:54 Parley? What's that? I know there's the term Shanghai, but I think that's you take someone and you force them to work on at sea. It's like you get them drunk at a bar and then they wake up on the high seas and they're like, well, now I'm a member of this crew. That's what, we got Emma drunk and she woke up and she was our editor and producer. The fuck?

Starting point is 00:11:19 Yeah, but let's just say, you know what? Let's just say crewmates. Let's just say shipmates. Let's just say a couple of fellow passengers on this voyage. Couldn't be happier to have them from the We Love Trash podcast and their new Halloween podcast, Too Spooky to Handle, which is available for free on Ear Wolf. You don't have to sign up for Stitcher Premium. It's for free, too spooky to handle.

Starting point is 00:11:43 Mono Agapien, Betsy Siddharah over here. Hi Mono, hi Betsy. Hi! Sarley already started talking. No, I love it. We love it. Mono is really chiming in. I just, I think it's right.

Starting point is 00:11:57 Mitch gets me excited and fired up in the best way. Couldn't help this though. We needed you in here. I love it. We had gone overboard. We had gone overboard. We were treading water. Oh man, well we are pirates, too.

Starting point is 00:12:17 Yes, we should address your pirate names. Yes, you have pirate names, which is a mandatory to be on the podcast. Right, this is a requirement. Mono, let's start with you. I didn't even know we were doing pirate names, but then just going in, because the last time we used StreamYard was when we had our bread episode. So it said like Mono bread correspondent.

Starting point is 00:12:38 So just like immediately my brain was like, oh, then I have to put something funny about this episode. And before I even knew I needed a pirate name, I wrote down Long Dong Silver. Very good. Very good. Yeah, you must. Appropriate for this change, too.

Starting point is 00:12:55 I like that it's Mono, Long Dong Silver. One big name. That's what it says on my license. Now Betsy, is this your pirate name? No, I just don't want to do a funny name. And then Mitch was like, you're going to have a pirate name later. And I was like, well, I'll put funny name and come up with a pirate name. I mean, this could be your pirate name.

Starting point is 00:13:18 Tell everyone what your name is. And I think it could work. Betsy, give me that plate of brown sedaro. It's kind of a, you know, you know, Long John Silver's. It's a plate of brown you get. It sure is. It sure is. It does kind of work as your, it does kind of work as your,

Starting point is 00:13:41 as your pirate name, I think. I think it, I think it checks out, but look, if you want to, if you want a pirate name as well, you can come up on before the end of the episode. Okay. Maybe it's just straight up brown plate. Betsy Brown plate, I love that.

Starting point is 00:13:57 It's a great name. Let's, before we get to big plates of brown, because that's really all we're talking about. It's, it's, it's 100% what this chain offers. And we should talk a little bit. We talked about, you know, Mitch was bringing up the spooky season. You too love your spooky scaries. Wags himself is kind of like a, a little bit like a polite buffalo bill.

Starting point is 00:14:24 I'd fuck me. Hey, buddy, was she kind of like a bigger lady body? Woman of size. Now look, I don't want to tell you, you have to use the hose again. But if you could put the dog in the basket, that would be great. I'd suck me. Let's talk about spooky scaries a little bit. Mitch, I know you've been watching a lot of your big horror guy.

Starting point is 00:15:01 All three of you are huge into horror. In fact, we are hearing some horror talk before we got on the podcast. You were talking about a recent film. We're talking about Halloween ads, yeah. Yeah. Do you have any recent like picks from the horror canon, whether the stuff that came out this year or, or stuff that you are from the archives that you happen to be watching this October?

Starting point is 00:15:22 There's a lot of good ones this year, I think. Yeah. This year was a good year for horror. We saw Barbarian and we loved it. Yes, Barbarian's a lot of fun. Yeah, Barbarian's very fun. And we had our friend on the, on the pod, by the way, if you want to go here, Matthew Patrick Davis talk about his experience.

Starting point is 00:15:39 Wow. Promoting. Promoting. Incredible. Yeah, he, I don't want to give any spoilers away, but he's in the film. He's in Barbarian. Yes. Major character.

Starting point is 00:15:50 We interviewed him on, we love trash, so go listen to that interview. Hell yeah. That's amazing. That's awesome. Yeah, it was cool. He has a lot of really great stories about it and stuff. I also love X and Pearl. Those were two huge ones that I thought were so good.

Starting point is 00:16:07 I loved X. I didn't love Pearl as much, but I like him as a director. I think he's some fun stuff. But I liked X a lot. Do you guys see the new Hellraiser? By the way, did anyone else hear this as we were just like, we're just talking horror and I heard the background of somebody's audio. I heard like a squeaking opening door.

Starting point is 00:16:25 Yeah. That was here. And it was, it was actually a bird. Okay. It was a bird. Yeah. It was a bird like flew by and was like, it was scary.

Starting point is 00:16:35 It was scary as shit. Yeah. It was me. Hey, we said we were farty guys at the beginning of the episode. Farty guys. I like that you've now accepted you're a farty guy. You really went from denial to acceptance quickly. Right.

Starting point is 00:16:51 That squeaky door wink. You thought Pearl was too story-ish, like too much character study. What'd you think? Did I think what was too? Pearl. Pearl. Pearl. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:05 Yeah. I think it was a little too care, like give me a little bit more of this. There was like moments I liked in it, but, but I, but I wasn't nuts about it. There's, there's some classics I still got. Mitch liked about X is the, the moment where Kid Cudi, Oh, it shakes the big dick around. He wanted more of that. It's so funny.

Starting point is 00:17:22 I hated that one actually. It's so funny. It's Kid Cudi. Get the blue ray, man. There's some pleated scenes. Oh shit. Oh my God. That was so funny.

Starting point is 00:17:34 Just seeing a wiener, like just kind of wagging around. So funny. And the moment where that amazing young actress from Scream is like, you can fuck me. That moment was just so wild. We had already said we both agree that we talked, we talked about this on Spotify, the Spotify live show that Dahmer's bay.

Starting point is 00:17:57 We all agree that Dahmer is a little embarrassed to say that, honestly, just cause it's, it's 2022 and we're still saying, they, but I tried watching it. Hey, bae. I tried watching it. It is a, as you know, there's a lot of controversy around the show. The gay community is like, no, thanks. Um, which is tough.

Starting point is 00:18:21 Cause on the one hand we're telling a queer story. It's weird, but I, I, I would say watching it, I don't get much pleasure from watching it cause for whatever reason, like the dramatization of, of it like is not, I don't know. It's like, I, yes, I like horror, but something about it is like savage. Sure. That's a really grim story.

Starting point is 00:18:42 I haven't watched it, but I, you know, I've, I've, I've done my research on, on Dahmer and, uh, look there. I didn't mean that name sort of. I bet just like it isn't from, like it's interesting. That's all. Yes. But then gay people got mad. Okay.

Starting point is 00:18:58 So you, you escaped. You escaped the Dahmer apartment. Yeah. I don't want to spoil, I don't want to, I don't want to spoil the, the Halloween ends, but you might be a Corey Cunningham to, uh, to Michael Myers Dahmer. Yes. Show me how to do it.

Starting point is 00:19:17 Show me how to do it. We were, we were really losing it with that. Show me how to do it. It's like, he's just having, you've done it. You've done it, man. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.

Starting point is 00:19:30 You've already done it a bunch. Jesus. But it's a big divisive thing. I'll just, that's all I'm saying. I don't know. I'm not embracing it. I don't, I don't know what to do. The thing, the thing that I found so strange about it was my cousin's kids are watching

Starting point is 00:19:46 it and they're like 21, 20, you know, to 25. And they like, didn't, they're like, this is how they're finding out about Dahmer. And I'm like, am I just a freak? Because like, I like would, I knew about all these freaks back in the day. I feel like, and, and like, you know, would, I don't know, looked them up or like read about them or heard about them in some way. Yeah. For a lot of kids, I guess this is how they, like Dahmer, they're like finding out about

Starting point is 00:20:10 the guy. Whatever. I learned about Son of Sam through Seinfeld. Yeah. Like I was like, I didn't know. Cause you know, that was a, they have like a son, like Newman has Son of Sam's mail bag. And that was like a, that's very funny. But he was like a big, like it was 60s or 70s, summer of Sam, there was a, there's the

Starting point is 00:20:29 Spike Lee movie about it, right? That's like right in the 70s, right? And, and so it was, yeah, it just, just predated my life. But yeah, then I found out about it. I feel like there's, I feel like Dahmer is just that kind of era. If you were born in like 1995, you're just now finding out about it. I think so. And I think true crime was like a 90s boom thing, frankly.

Starting point is 00:20:47 Like before that it was just like news, but then true crime became like comedy fodder. Like. Right. Right. The Menendez brothers kicked it off. Right. There were so many references and shows we watched. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:21:01 Movies are just like about serial killers and stuff that you're like, we gotta know who this is. Lorena Bobbitt. I mean, we all remember the Lorena Bobbitt jokes. Yes. Which we now know were problematic as fuck. Problem. Right.

Starting point is 00:21:17 Problem. And then John, John Wayne Bobbitt, who got his penis surgically reattached, made a porno called Uncut, I think. Yeah. Which was like kind of like the first of the, this is, this, this person's a celebrity for a different reason, but they're making a porno to cash in on their fame, which kind of became its own sort of micro trend. Did we try to find that porno?

Starting point is 00:21:38 Oh, we found it. We found the porno. We found it. Okay. We found the porno. Sorry. What did Mitch say? Sorry, Mitch.

Starting point is 00:21:46 What'd you say? I said I might have to get that doctor's number. I'm like, I'm basically, basically you say I'm going to try to get some sort of Franken dick. Oh my God. Franken schlong. I'm here for that. I'll go Franken with you.

Starting point is 00:21:58 Yeah. I'll go pick up some bodies with you. It should be like a Botox weekend. Don't get an evil dick though. Yeah. Don't get an evil dick. Ooh. But maybe you want an evil dick, Betsy.

Starting point is 00:22:10 I bet evil dicks fuck better than nice dicks. I don't know. I know. What? Like you don't know. Did you say this? I'll go ahead. Well, no, no.

Starting point is 00:22:25 I don't. I mean, look, I would like to talk about evil dicks versus good dicks all day long. I think this crew could do it. Like, you know, you know, Dahmer's got an evil dick. There's a lot of look. There's a lot of good and evil dicks. But I think you're right, motto that maybe the good dicks aren't, you know, they, they think they stay away.

Starting point is 00:22:43 Well, this might be the perfect blade scenario, you know, all of their strengths, none of their weaknesses. You have a good brain and an evil dick that might be the key. Okay. There you go. I think we can at least make this movie. Daywalker. Look.

Starting point is 00:23:02 Also watch Smile. Smile was fun. Smile's fun. I haven't seen it yet. People like Smile. I'm excited. Betsy hasn't seen it yet. I haven't seen it yet either, but I'm gonna.

Starting point is 00:23:11 Me too. In a way, I do. That is funny that like, I guess like there are vampiric qualities to my penis that it has never seen the light of day. The way it awakes. And at night, oh my God, I always have like sleepy boners. So my dick awakes at night. Holy shit.

Starting point is 00:23:35 Yeah, definitely. Definitely. And also sometimes your dick turns into a, to a bat. A baseball bat. The fuck? Yeah. Definitely no. And long-dung silver.

Starting point is 00:23:47 Yeah. Do you guys have any favorite? Look, pumpkin head is a bit of an idol of mine just for the head size alone. Underrated. Sure. Do you guys have any? Who's your favorite murderer, monster, man? Or lady.

Starting point is 00:24:04 Samara, scary as hell. Yes. You got Freddy Krueger. I love Freddy. You know, Freddy is a bit of, you know, he is problematic. So many. But Hilary. He's also funny and having a good time.

Starting point is 00:24:16 Very funny. He's, he's a real favorite. Wait, wait, can I, just to chime in real quick, because we talked a little bit about Hellraiser recently, Mitch, but I do think that the, that just purely aesthetically, just from a character design standpoint, pinhead is impeccable. Pinhead is so scary looking. Pinhead's drug. And I love that Clive Barker is like kind of talking more about their queerness. I don't know how Clive identifies, but just being like, it was always a queer story.

Starting point is 00:24:41 I wanted Hellraiser to be a woman originally. But I think that's really interesting. I went off on this in the, on the last episode about woke culture stole pinhead from me. Good. Let's have a fight. Lady pinhead. No, no, no. We were joking that it was my mom yelling at me to not touch the lament configuration was what it was.

Starting point is 00:25:05 Michael. It'll never work. Pinhead. Why? Cause I'm with you. Pinhead is pinheads. Pinhead is really cool. Looks cool.

Starting point is 00:25:15 Here's the thing I love about Hellraiser. There's nothing scarier than your fate being that you get, you go to hell. I mean, come on. Right. Yeah. That's fucking horrifying. I mean, like Freddy takes your soul too. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:28 Yeah. I just, I love them. I love the Senate bites, but also I'm like their whole like pain is pleasure thing. I would love to just sit down with them and just say, no, uh, like, no, it's not like it hurts. It fucking hurts. Like I want them challenged on this, but I think everybody who wants them is down for that pain.

Starting point is 00:25:51 You know? Yeah. You know? That's not me getting dragged to hell or having your soul taken is that's scary stuff. So I guess that's exorcist drag drag to hell. Oh, another one of the grand characters. You can put them on that. I would hate to be dragged to hell.

Starting point is 00:26:10 Me too. Um, what's her name? What's her character name? I'm forgetting the cake. Lorna played by Lorna Raver. The mid the Eastern European mystic Sylvia Ganous. We love Sylvia Ganous from drag me to hell. She's Alison.

Starting point is 00:26:29 Alison Lohman is in it and she is retired from actor. And then we just found out online that she's a little Trumpy. Unfortunately. Oh, fuck. Oh, you're kidding. That sucks. So she can stay down there. That's like Christy Swanson.

Starting point is 00:26:45 Christy Swanson used to be horror legend. Now Trumpy and we hate her. Who is this? Kristen Swanson. The original Buffy Christy. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:57 Yeah. She can burn in hell too. Who are you guys? Some of your guys favorites. You have a favorite. So many. Okay. Okay.

Starting point is 00:27:06 We love mama. We love mama. I love mama too. I underrated it. I did not. I did not like the it's, but I like, I like mama. Oh, we love mama. When mama turns into just a wig on the floor.

Starting point is 00:27:18 Wonderful. The best. Ma. We love ma. Mama. Mama's good. Sure. All the moms are good.

Starting point is 00:27:26 All the moms are great. I was so excited for it after mama and then it. I just, I didn't like Pennywise and it either. He's like, hey, do you want to do a play? I was making fun of this the other day. Like, hey, do you want to come and play a game? I was like, you just sound stupid. You sound so.

Starting point is 00:27:44 It was too much of improv 101. I kind of did. Yeah. Mama and ma. Those are big ones. Any, any, any other ones? Oh yeah. I mean, I love leprechaun.

Starting point is 00:27:58 I think leprechaun is so funny. Leprechaun is very funny. He's very nutty and the like movies just heightened in very silly ways. We have a real penchant for funny, funny villains. Chucky. Yeah. Chucky's great.

Starting point is 00:28:15 I love Chucky's great. Have you watched, have you watched the TV series? I've watched some of it. I do plan on watching it all. It's fun. There's a Child's Play TV show? Yes. It's awesome.

Starting point is 00:28:27 It's great. Wow. It's, it's all of the movies. Like it's all, you need to know them all. You don't need to, but they like the world they built, they stick with it. Don Mancini. It's really fun.

Starting point is 00:28:41 Including Jennifer Tilly. In it. Playing Jennifer Tilly. And it's so fantastic. It's a blast. I got to say this, that the, the creator is a Don Mancini. Is that the guy? Yes.

Starting point is 00:28:55 So Don, so that guy like, he was like in charge of like, he was the Chucky guy. Like, and it was like such a cool thing that like this entire world was this guy's, and it has such a huge fan base. And that's why the reboot that came out a few years ago was such fucking bullshit. Like they, where they could remake the original Chucky and then they cut all like the Chucky people out of it.

Starting point is 00:29:17 And then it was bad. It was not good. And it's like, this is a guy who created fucking, I mean, Aubrey Plaza is an inch is great. Love Aubrey Plaza. But like, come on. They, they, like they cut out the guy who, the guy who created the series and then.

Starting point is 00:29:33 Yeah. What are you doing? What are you, you can't do that. And I guess that just went belly up, huh? That just, they, yeah. I don't think it works. Wasn't it just that the like computer chip malfunctioned and made it evil?

Starting point is 00:29:46 Yeah. No, we need the soul of an awful dude, an awful funny dude inside the box. Yeah. Like someone in the factory switches it to evil. Like that's the, it's truly that tree house of terror. Of horror. Yes.

Starting point is 00:30:03 Oh yeah. Evil. Is it set to evil? Switch it back to good. Yes. Chucky is funny when he's like, I hate being like in this doll's body. It fucking sucks.

Starting point is 00:30:14 Like that's what you want to hear. You want to hear like a little angry Chucky. Yeah. Yes. It's, it's kind of the, you know, the, the issue of like, oh, we just need to make this make sense. Like we need to like, how would this actually work? And it's just like, you're overthinking the logic of it.

Starting point is 00:30:28 Like a spirit, like, you know, whatever a soul's trapped in the doll, that's a nut. Like people, the audience will be along with that. We don't need to figure out how to like anchor this in smart technology. But also it sounds like what you're talking about from a, from a rights issue. This is just like a long standing thing where, you know, the IP

Starting point is 00:30:42 rights get all confused. And that's how you end up with like the rings of power Amazon series where it's like, okay, we have the rights to, to Tolkien's other work, but we don't have the rights to the Silmarillion. So we can't reference that directly. And apparently there's weird things like they can't say the word hobbit because they don't own the rights to it, but

Starting point is 00:31:00 hobbits can exist. I don't know if that's actually been worn out through the whole series, but it's just so strange to, to go full bore with something like that of like, Hey, we're going to spend all this money to make this reboot or to make this spin off series, but we don't actually own all the material. I mean, it's like the biopic. Have we, I need, I haven't seen it at Betsy.

Starting point is 00:31:19 We need to watch. I haven't seen it either, but I really want to watch it. It's like Jackie jump jump from 30 rock. They made an unofficial Celine Dion biopic and then they couldn't say her name. So it's called Eileen and it's about Celine Dion's life. Who made it? Lifetime?

Starting point is 00:31:35 I don't know. All the time. It's a theatrical release. It was a theatrical release and it was, it was a Canadian production, um, a writer director star. And now I've, I've, I've known a lot. I haven't seen this movie yet, but Natalie is fascinated by it.

Starting point is 00:31:49 So I've heard a lot about it and it probably is, is good about her for we love trash at some point. But apparently the, the, it's a writer director star who plays Celine Dion, a fictionalized Celine Dion named Eileen and plays her like as a child as well. So it's like, yes, yes, yes, yes. This sounds insane. It's just like this bizarre, yeah, weird, uh, you know,

Starting point is 00:32:09 weird bit of like self insertion into, uh, uh, Celine's life, but it also like kind of glamorizes her, her relationship with her older mentor figure. Like her marriage to that guy. Like it like talks about that. And like, like positively it's very strange. Awful. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:27 We gotta watch that. Yeah. We gotta, we gotta. I was going to also say, um, Brad Doriff is, is not in the, in the remake of Chucky. He's not in, in the remake of Child's Play, but he's, he's in everything, including the TV series, I think. And he's like, that's like when you changed Freddie Krueger

Starting point is 00:32:43 over from, uh, what's his name to, uh, to Robert England, Robert England to the, to the. Who is this? The reboot. It's Jackie Earl Haley. Jack Earl Haley. Who's good. Very good actor.

Starting point is 00:32:56 Just didn't work. Yeah. How do you guys feel about the fog monsters? Oh, I like the fog. I love them. I love the fog. Because they fit right into this theme month. They're perfect.

Starting point is 00:33:08 And the stuff. Wow. Yes. The stuff always. Just cause it's food. The stuff always fits into our podcast. This stuff is, uh, can't get enough of the stuff. Uh-huh.

Starting point is 00:33:20 We love this stuff. That was, I remember when I saw the stuff and I went over to my friend's Justin, Justin's house. And I said, do you, did you see the stuff? And he was like, yeah, I saw the stuff. And then his dad was like, what's stuff? What do you mean? What's stuff?

Starting point is 00:33:34 What are you talking about? We're like, it's just a movie. He was like afraid that we were talking about like, he was like, he was afraid of, he thought it was like drugs or something. We were 12. You know the white stuff. He was like, I don't like it.

Starting point is 00:33:45 I don't like it. It doesn't leave any stains. And he doesn't like it. It's low calorie. It doesn't leave a stain. And he doesn't like it. We love that movie. I love the fog.

Starting point is 00:33:56 The fog is such a great spooky. Look, ghost pirates are a big, they're a big part of, I feel like used to be even bigger than they are now, but a ghost pirate. I mean, Pirates of the Caribbean, a part of the ride is like these haunted ghostly pirates. The movies, they're very supernatural. That was an intention, like when they made the

Starting point is 00:34:16 franchise, they were like, this has got to have supernatural stuff. So it's like, yeah, it's all like fucking ghost pirates and scary pirates and shit. Oh, right. Because it's like revealed they're all. Sea monsters. Ghost pirates, huh?

Starting point is 00:34:26 Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yes. Ghost pirates. The fog is cool. I mean, it's fog is scary. Carpenter rules, but the fog. Carpenter rules so hard.

Starting point is 00:34:36 He's great. I just watched Christine. I love that John Carpenter. I love that movie so much. Yeah. It's a fun, evil car. There's a lot of big ones. I made a list of stuff that I haven't seen that are big,

Starting point is 00:34:50 like the whaling I've never seen. And there's like a few other things. I haven't seen that either. Yeah. There's a few things. I hear it's scary. I always recommend this. You got to go watch the Spanish film, The Orphanage.

Starting point is 00:35:01 Yeah. Everyone go watch that. It's my favorite scary movie of all time. It's Spanish. So you got to read. It's incredible. Incredible. It's so good.

Starting point is 00:35:10 It's scary. You got to read, but it's real worth it. I don't do that. I don't do that. No, thanks. But yeah, go watch that. It's really scary. The piss out of you.

Starting point is 00:35:22 It's Guillermo del Toro. You know what movie didn't have to read for it? The Stuff. I didn't have to read it. Oh my God. The commercials and the stuff, so well produced. The commercials are great. Abe Vagoda is just in one of them.

Starting point is 00:35:36 Like it's Vagoda. Yes. Vagoda doing in there. It's so cool. That's due for a reboot. Yeah. We got to write it. We got to write it.

Starting point is 00:35:48 We got to get it. I would. I would. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Some weird.

Starting point is 00:35:56 Maybe it's like, it's like whatever. It's like a soylent replacement. Right. That's the whole thing. It's like, oh, everyone's loves this. Yes. It replaces your meals. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:36:04 Yep. Unfortunately, I feel like the two of you writing the stuff on the reboot would be too funny and too good. So Hollywood is going to pass. Absolutely. Absolutely. If you want to kind of like come up with like a shitty take that would suck, but piss everyone off.

Starting point is 00:36:19 We can make that happen, but. Okay. How about, here we go. An hour into the movie and you finally see the stuff. Finally see it, but it's not going to do as much as you were hoping. And there's like, yeah. Sounds similar to. No, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:36:37 This is different. This is different. Cause then the stuff is like falling in love with the fog and you're like, wait, will they, won't they? What's going to happen? I'm here for it. Stuff falling in love with the fog. The stuff falling in love with the fog.

Starting point is 00:36:53 I think I am on board for already. Me too. Will you guys have Garrett Morse's face cave in slash break apart? I don't know what happens in the movie. All right. All the time. God bless him. Still, still going strong.

Starting point is 00:37:07 He's, I think he's in his eighties at this point, but. Yeah. He's still going. Yeah. Um, all right. I'm on board. You guys told me. Let's see it.

Starting point is 00:37:16 Great. Great. We did it. We did it. We were derailing you from your awesome segue to actually talk about what we ate. Oh, the pirate. No.

Starting point is 00:37:27 No, we got it. We talked. Have you forgotten? We talk much like your horror movie idea or maybe a horror movie. That's in theaters right now. We go a full hour before you hear about the food. Okay. Good.

Starting point is 00:37:41 Good. Good. Good. Much, much better. Here's what we'll do. Why don't we take a break and we'll come back and we'll be on topic. We're going to talk about Long John Silver's. We'll be right back for dough boys.

Starting point is 00:37:55 Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr.

Starting point is 00:38:11 Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr Yarr. Yarr.

Starting point is 00:46:39 Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr Yarr. Yarr. Yarr.

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Starting point is 00:52:59 Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr Yarr. Yarr.

Starting point is 00:53:47 Yarr. yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr.

Starting point is 00:53:55 Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr Đ branded us. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr.

Starting point is 00:55:39 Yaarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr.

Starting point is 00:56:12 Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yes, I want the mac and cheese from KFC with my meal. And it was great.

Starting point is 00:56:21 Wow. Try it. It's just some configuration of their batter dipped Alaska Pollock, they call it. The batter dipped chicken tender, which is the chicken plank, and batter dipped shrimp. It's some configuration of those proteins, however much you want. And then you get sides and hush puppies.

Starting point is 00:56:40 And so I was like, I'll get the coleslaw and the fries, because those are on the LJS side of the menu. But no, they ended up being just KFC coleslaw and fries. For me, it was Taco Bell, so the coleslaw and fries, I think, were belonged. I mean, I guess there are, but they were not the Taco Bell fries. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:57 Nacho fries. Interesting. So I got the whole Long John Silver experience. But similarly, Wags, we were like, can we get a fish sandwich? And she's like, there's no bread. And she's like, there's no bread in the store. She followed up with like, we have no bread in the store. Like I said, we weren't pushing anything, but she did not like us.

Starting point is 00:57:16 And then I should have asked about a fish taco, because I was like, oh, maybe they just could have done it because they have the ingredients. Oh, yeah. But the only stuff was available was the stuff that we got. That was it. Like we got everything that was available. And those lobster, the lobster, whatever the lobster tails were,

Starting point is 00:57:35 where she said they were gone, the fried lobster bites. Lobster bites. Like she said that they were gone until the new year, which is, I think it's a one-time promotion. So I don't, but none of that stuff seemed available. Like nothing else besides filets of strips of fish, strips of chicken, and frozen shrimp. And then the sides, like fries, hush puppies, and coleslaw.

Starting point is 00:57:57 I think that's all that there was in the store. It speaks to the incoherence of this chain on a corporate level, because if you go to their website, by the way, there's no app. The app does not work. It does not exist. It doesn't work. It does not exist. But if you go to their website, a full-page splash screen

Starting point is 00:58:14 of what you see currently is lobster bites. They're back. And so they're trying to say like, this is our big current promotional item. But if you go to any of the co-branded locations, they don't have it. Right. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:28 Also, I'm sorry, but we need an ingredient breakdown of what's in the lobster bite, period. Like you have, I understand it's not a ton of lobster, but still, I am scared what else is in there. Agreed. I agree with that. Yeah. I fully agree.

Starting point is 00:58:46 Come on. Just don't do it. Yeah. Just don't do it. Just don't do it. Nobody wants to go to fast food and get lobster. Exactly. It's like McDonald's doing a filet burger,

Starting point is 00:58:57 a filet mignon burger. And you're like, no. No. No way. No. You know what? We just, Weiger and I went to a place where we went to the Pirates Dinner Adventure and the food was not good.

Starting point is 00:59:10 But the lobster was the one good thing. By the way, I just texted my mom to see what her review is of this place. But I'm going to say this. I took a bite of the chicken plank first. You're poor mom, by the way. Yeah. She has to go from a surgical procedure straight to Long

Starting point is 00:59:29 John Silver's. And now she has to use her one good hand to text you back a Long John Silver's review so you can read on your shitty podcast. She's, look, we love my mom. She's a great lady. We love Mrs. Mitchell. Wonderful lady.

Starting point is 00:59:45 We took a bite. And so this is, I'll tell you what my mom was impressed by. I took a bite of this chicken plank and I was like, that's not bad. It tasted pretty good. It was not bad. The chicken plank tasted all right. And this is the thing that my mom said.

Starting point is 00:59:59 My mom was like the fry on all of these things. She was like the fry on the chicken plank, on the fish, and on the, and on the shrimp. The fry was good for all of us. And she's like, it's not easy to get the fry right because like, if you, if you fry them too long, you, you know, it's a little dried out. And if you don't, you know, if you don't do it long enough,

Starting point is 01:00:20 we're talking seafood and it will get mushy and gross. So the fry on that chicken plank was good. The fry on the shrimp was pretty good. The fry on the fish was good. I was like, so I was shocked by that because all those three things I just mentioned, all three of them tasted good. I like, I'm not going to lie. All three of them tasted pretty damn good.

Starting point is 01:00:38 I was like putting malt vinegar on them and putting some tartar sauce on there. And I was having a good time. I was liking them. I was blown away. I got chicken and shrimp and I was really blown away by them. If I, one thing was, and we were talking about this is I wish they had more sauces.

Starting point is 01:00:57 They need sauce. 100%. Yeah. More sauces for everything. I don't love tartar sauce and that's really the main option really. Yeah. I like tartar sauce.

Starting point is 01:01:07 That's it. That's your only, I like it too, but that's your only creamy sauce and it doesn't make any sense with the chicken. Like dipping that tartar sauce is nonsense. I think that the chicken, the way that the fry looks on it to me is like, this is supposed to be covered in malt vinegar. And that's, and so when my, when my meal became a lot better,

Starting point is 01:01:26 I'll say this, all the, all the fried stuff was good. I mean, all of it is fried. Even the crunchies were pretty good though. My mom, when she bit into the hush puppy, she was like, this is not fried enough. This texture is not good. She thought the inside was too doughy and she spit it out. She didn't like it.

Starting point is 01:01:43 I liked the hush puppy. I enjoyed it. It has a nice oniony taste to it. I kind of liked it. She thought hers was not, and I told her, I was like, well, they're all cooked and they're just putting the deep fryer. And she's like, I know it kind of got turned into a mini fight, but she spit that out.

Starting point is 01:01:58 She's, she's, she's just a micro, a little micro fight, micro naps from the remake of Nightmare on Elstree, a little micro fight, but she spit it out in the napkin. And then, but when I had, and we both thought, thought the fries were the least fresh of all the fried things, but the fries themselves weren't bad. They just need to be more salted. And then what I did is I opened up a malt vinegar thing.

Starting point is 01:02:22 I poured them on all the fries and on the fish. And then I got these malty fries that I then dipped in the tartar sauce. And I, I was liking them. Because they were tasting good. I was having a good time. Yeah. I really had no complaints of, of the meal. I mean, like the, the, the little crumblies, the crispies,

Starting point is 01:02:40 I forget what they're called, but you know, if you've been to Long John Silver's, you're, you're familiar with them. They just kind of a dusting of sawdust, but they're just like, like it's like deep fried. And it, you just, I, from what I've heard, it's just like leftover batter bits. They just scoop onto your platter. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:57 It's kind of gross. It did, it like, it doesn't belong there, but I think it's just a thing they've done since they, they opened. So there's an expectation for it. But overall, I thought the food, despite the menu being limited was fine. My only complaint is I'd just rather be eating KFC. Long John Silver's, but it wasn't bad. It was tough looking over at that menu being like,

Starting point is 01:03:17 look at that chicken sandwich. Yeah. Good. We should have got that too. Yeah. What the fuck? I would say it's very unbalanced though. That's one of my things.

Starting point is 01:03:30 It's like, it's the plate of brown. We love a plate of brown, but it is. Sure. When you really think about it, it is so unbalanced. Like the meal is just one taste the whole way through, which even a sandwich, like, which they have at some restaurants, there's just balance to a sandwich that you can't get with just a plate of fried stuff. Right.

Starting point is 01:03:50 So that was a ding for me. It's like, yes, it was good. Yes, it was tasty. But it's like, and you also, for me, I had to stop at some point because I was like, oh, I'm just like eating the same thing over and over again. I'm not getting any like differentiation. I have to stop. Oh, me too.

Starting point is 01:04:08 Yeah. I had to tap out. By the way, we should say, you know, if you, if you have their full menu, I've got it up here. They have things like, you know, you can get grilled salmon. I don't think I'd get a grilled salmon plate from there, but you know, they have other textures you can get. They have a fish sandwich that looks decent.

Starting point is 01:04:23 Mitch mentioned the fish tacos, which are, you know, so if you had access to some of these menu items, one that actually had that stuff. Yes. It might be nice to try and compare versus, you know, the like what Mano is saying, just a just a big plate of fried everything. Mm hmm. Yeah. Didn't they have like taco?

Starting point is 01:04:43 I feel they do have a taco. Yeah. They have a taco on their menu. I would give that a shot. Yeah. Coconut popcorn shrimp. I wanted that. Where the hell was that?

Starting point is 01:04:54 Come on. I know. The batter crunches are also from another time. Like it's just obviously like, yeah, they're, they were fun. I had a few, but I then quickly got depressed just thinking of the reality of their, their garbage at the bottom of the fry basket. Yeah. That's it.

Starting point is 01:05:14 That's crazy. That didn't bother me. I was like, that's fun, dude. Give me that garbage man. Fair enough. It is. Well, I speaking of center bites, it is a little bit like a center bite meal of like these little like skin flakes that like, like are just a collection of skin flakes.

Starting point is 01:05:32 It is. Revolting. Fried skin flakes. Just all fried every fried fingers and fried, fried chunks of the thigh. We're so hell razor. Eating them. Pain is pleasure. Well, what are you guys even talking about now?

Starting point is 01:05:56 I, so the coleslaw, we had the coleslaw and I opened up the coleslaw. I was like, ooh, that smells strong. We took bites of it. It was pretty good. A little mayo-y, but, but, uh, but with some good, um, with some good vinegar taste to it. Um, look, uh, blow me down. Why?

Starting point is 01:06:16 I, uh, I was, I blow the main down. Is that blow the man down, blow the main down? I don't know what it is. Blow the man down. I think it's blow the spoon man down. I was impressed. There you go. It was.

Starting point is 01:06:28 It was. It was. It was. All right. The, I had some bites in there that I was, that I was liking. My mom was happy that I didn't devour the whole thing, but the shrimp were nice. They weren't tried out. The fish pieces were nice.

Starting point is 01:06:45 The chicken, it was surprisingly better than I thought. But how good is that? I guess is the question. Well, yeah, I mean, I, look, it exceeded my expectations. My expectations were, were negative. My expectations were below zero. Like last time we went here, I was like, this was bad. That was six years ago.

Starting point is 01:07:07 I was like, this has to be, has to have gotten worse. But having it now, and honestly, in the shadow of pirate's dinner adventure, which as we mentioned was unequivocally the single worst meal we've had in Doe Boy's history. Wow. This I was like, this is a treat. This is like kind of a delight. Like it's, it's not great.

Starting point is 01:07:28 It's, it's maybe not even good, but it's, it's, it's certainly not bad. It's certainly a serviceable lunch. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And yes, I will say I was, cause usually whenever I do the show, I'm so excited to eat whatever it is. And I was like, I woke up just being like, oh, okay.

Starting point is 01:07:51 I gotta go eat long John Silver's today. Okay, man. And I like Googled. I was like, is long John Silver's good? I was so just like, I was really prepared to like take a couple of bites and be like, okay, Manna, we got to go somewhere else after this. Right. But I was, I ate more than I, I really enjoyed it way more than I thought,

Starting point is 01:08:17 which was delightful. Googling if long John Silver's is good. Yeah. Did that yield anything? Yes. And the source is long John Silver himself. Yeah. There is one video.

Starting point is 01:08:31 I started watching of like just like a 20 year old reviewing it. And he's like, I love this place so much. And I was like, okay, people love it. So we'll give you a shot. Interesting. Yeah. I got to say, you know, it's like, like you're saying, like just a bad, disgusting, disappointing meal is, is, is different than this is what they

Starting point is 01:08:51 promised us and they delivered 85% of what they promised us. If not more, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. And look, as we mentioned, there's basically four menu items that you can have here. We tried them all.

Starting point is 01:09:08 And I think at this point we should get to our final thoughts on long John Silver's. So Betsy and Maro, you know how this podcast works, but just a refresher will each go around, give our closing argument, if you will, and then give this a score. And because it is your dobar chest, we are using a pirate theme scale instead of zero to five forks, zero to five pieces of eight. So here are pieces of eight score from zero to five.

Starting point is 01:09:30 Betsy, let's start with you. Okay. Okay. So like I said, was not excited to go one bit was very honestly a little nervous. I was also, I was like, is it going to make my tummy hurt? What's happening? Here we go.

Starting point is 01:09:48 What's happening? For some reason, though, I will say I was a little more comforted that it was in a KFC. I don't know why I was a little bit like, Oh, okay. Okay. So they're, they're in a place where frying happens a lot. Okay. I'm not.

Starting point is 01:10:05 And I was very surprised. My like the biggest thing was more sauces for us to dunk stuff in. I will say maybe that might be my permanent note everywhere I go though is more sauce. Give me sauce to dunk everything. I will give it. And what am I giving it? I wait pirate eight.

Starting point is 01:10:25 What am I zero to five pieces of eight pieces of eight. Okay. Pieces of eight. Yeah. I'm going to give it. You know what? I'm going to give it a 3.5 pieces. Wow.

Starting point is 01:10:38 Wow. Because I was truly, I was blown away by how much I enjoyed it. Yes. Then I thought very decent score. 3.5 pieces of eight, $3 and 50 cents and pieces of eight currency. Manu will go to you. Okay. So yes, yummy, pretty good, pretty decent.

Starting point is 01:11:00 I start to think about what's one weird thing about this meal is it's like, it was like a $12 meal or something like that. I don't know. And like when you start thinking about how much it costs and you think about what you can get at other places for that same money. It starts to get shaky for me. I know. You can have a Chipotle burrito for that.

Starting point is 01:11:18 And that is a really interesting flavor journey that you just don't get from the plate of brown. Again, you don't want the seafood to be cheaper. That's the complicated thing. You don't want it to be cheaper. That's scary too. So I thought it was pretty good, pretty decent, liked it. I won't be running back.

Starting point is 01:11:41 You liar. You've been seven times since we went. He takes me every day. You want to go back? I need to go back. Wouldn't it be like a funny bit if we go back in order even more? Yeah, wouldn't that be awesome? I will give it three pieces of eight because it did what it's supposed to do.

Starting point is 01:12:07 I just don't think it's particularly special. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, hey, look, these aren't wretched scores. These are no halfway decent scores. These aren't curcid scores.

Starting point is 01:12:22 These aren't curcid scores. No. Curcid scores. No. These be bright horizons. I don't know. I don't know. I haven't learned shit since this fucking thing started.

Starting point is 01:12:35 You pitched it so you would learn about pirate stuff. We got to do pirate things because I got to learn about it, man. I learned a lot about dogs in the last in the last month, dog go bark fest. That's good. Is that true? No. I didn't learn shit. I haven't learned shit.

Starting point is 01:12:54 I've never learned shit. I'm an idiot. I've done my whole life. I haven't learned anything. October blessed. That was maybe an interesting learning experience. We ate in the celebrity Scientology Center. We never admitted until just now.

Starting point is 01:13:11 You know what? I think we said on the main feed at some point. We did say it. Okay. All right. Good. I was looking back at our review of Long John Silver's. I just looked it up on the Doe Boys Wiki.

Starting point is 01:13:23 Shut up a node who maintains the Doe Boys Wikipedia. You're the man. This curcid website. I gave it 2.5 forks and a golden spoon. I have no idea what the fuck a golden spoon was. This was the fifth episode of the podcast. Wow. But I have no idea what it was.

Starting point is 01:13:45 We also did chain storming. Why? I looked at the notable quotes and it says, I say popcorn weird is one of my quotes. Okay. And yours is about your mom explicitly banned fish sticks. And then also you told the story about how you get a box of croutons and some blue cheese dressing and you would pour the

Starting point is 01:14:02 dressing a cup and then you would dip the croutons and eat as a snack, which I've heard you told, you've told that. I mean, we've reprinted ourselves a million times over, but I guess that's probably the first time you ever told that. Yeah. Anyways. 100%. I told that story like 12 times.

Starting point is 01:14:18 I did that growing up. I loved it so much. Croutons and ranch dressing. I would do it now. My mouth is watering. I'm going to get some. I would do it now. That sounds awesome.

Starting point is 01:14:28 Yeah. This, this show, this just shows how long ago that how long ago we talked about this restaurant. I gave a golden spoon award, which I don't, I have no idea what the fuck that is, but I will say this. I wish I was with you. I wish that we were a little Swiss family Robinson together and we were all there together, but I was with my, I was with my

Starting point is 01:14:53 mom. I was with my real Swiss family. Um, but, uh, we both were surprised by it. Wags blow the spoon man down. I got to go higher than what I did before. Wow. Uh, which was 2.5 forks. So I got, I think I'm going to bump it up to three forks and

Starting point is 01:15:10 you know what? It's getting that golden spoon again. I have no idea what the fuck it is. Wow. What are you doing? It's getting that golden spoon. I mean, you are truly a pirate swash buckling like going without thinking.

Starting point is 01:15:25 You're, you're acting. You're, you're acting crazy man. Yeah. You know what? It's a little like pirates are a little bit like improv man. I'm not thinking of this. Cause that's like a thing. If you know Billy man.

Starting point is 01:15:38 Three pieces of eight, three out of five pieces of eight. That's the correct score. And a golden hook. Instead of a golden spoon, a golden hook. We're going to be, look, we're going to be in the hand holding club. We're going to be a ballpark buds because we're all in the same general range.

Starting point is 01:15:59 Uh, I, I think that this place is first of all, I, I haven't chatted that out in a while that my mom's explicit household band of fish sticks. So they were kind of a forbidden fruit and it wasn't because we didn't, weren't allowed to have unhealthy food at home. It was because my mom growing up, her family was like religious and so there was no, no meat on Fridays.

Starting point is 01:16:18 And so she had fish sticks literally every Friday of her childhood. Cause her mom didn't want to cook fish any other way. And so she got so fucking sick of fish sticks. So she takes it on her poor son. You can never have fish sticks. And turn you into Corey Cunningham. I want to learn about to be Michael Myers buddy.

Starting point is 01:16:46 So, so it was a, it was like something of a treat. And I was excited when I could have fish sticks at school. Um, but I don't remember a lot of long John Silver's visits as a youth, although I know we, we'd been, I just don't remember them as specifically this visit was first off wonderful shipmates for this voyage. You both are just absolute delights to be around and, and, and just so, so generous with your time to make that

Starting point is 01:17:13 drive down, make that long haul down to Gardena, California, where I should mention while we're talking Wiger personal history, uh, my first child at home was located in the city of Gardena. So I don't remember it. It was me up until age three around thereabouts. And then we moved to Lakewood, California near Long Beach, California, where I grew up, but I do have some history

Starting point is 01:17:31 with Gardena. There's lots of great restaurants and like, like food in the Gardena area. We went to a cool used game store there. People kind of treat it like the grudge house down there now. No one goes in. Great company. Like the town.

Starting point is 01:17:50 I think that the workers there, hey, the workers there were doing a damn good job and we're actually super duper friendly. Despite us inconveniencing them. It was, it was clearly a fairly high volume KFC. So, hey, you know how we feel. God bless them. God bless, God bless my, but the,

Starting point is 01:18:06 the lady who was helping me out. The guy at the window was great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what they got? They gave me, they gave me long John silvers, which is the thing that I did not,

Starting point is 01:18:17 I thought possibly wouldn't happen. Oh yeah. Yes. Because this chain is so close to, it's why, let's be real. It's close to extension, extinction. I don't know if we'll ever review this place ever again. No way.

Starting point is 01:18:29 I don't even know if it will be around in five, 10 years. I'd say I could guarantee it won't be around, but we'll see. I mean, I was thinking that even when I was like, who is this four? And it's funny that it is a landlocked, it's middle of the country or whatever,

Starting point is 01:18:42 or at least landlocked. But for, for me, I was like, cause like New England has fish, but I was like, maybe people are more likely to eat long John silvers up here, but I didn't see them at all growing up. My mom said there was one between Quincy and Weymouth, but I, but I, even before I was, maybe could notice it or whatever.

Starting point is 01:18:58 But I'm like, who, who is this four? What is this restaurant? Who wants to eat here? Who wants, who wants this food? Right. How long is it going to last? But I don't know. Well, imagine you're, I mean, imagine you're in Appalachia

Starting point is 01:19:11 or you're in the Midwest and you know, like if you're going to get seafood, it's going to be frozen, right? It's not like, like, like, you know, Betsy's from Colorado, but everyone else is from a, from a more coastal area. And so fresh seafood was available. But if that's not the case, then it's like,

Starting point is 01:19:25 you're probably going to get frozen seafood. And what's the best version of frozen seafood? Probably deep fried, right? So that was probably just like, hey, I want, I want something different. And so that probably explains, or just, that's my, my inference of why Long John Silver's has success, you know, in, in kind of America's

Starting point is 01:19:42 bread basket, America's heartland. I don't know if it's long for this world. If I can throw out a mega death reference, which is maybe just for me, I think this chain is on the countdown to extinction. But I think, but also these chains tend to linger for, you know, longer than you'd expect. And you'll find out that, hey, they still have like,

Starting point is 01:20:01 you know, in 2029, they still have like seven outlets, just like randomly around, you know, like the last blockbuster that still exists. Like there's just a few that just still, still operate for whatever reasons. Look, I don't, I'm not sure how much longer the world even has. Like I feel like, I feel like we're in trouble,

Starting point is 01:20:20 but even still I'm pretty confident that Long John Silver's will end before the world ends. That's where my head's at. That's interesting too, because the captain goes down with the ship. But I also think, what, what if they get into, what if they get into like faux fish? That will be scary.

Starting point is 01:20:38 And that's, which I don't think they will, but that would be a sign that they're, they're in this for the long run. If they're like, we're new impossible fish sticks. Wow. That's scary. But it's possible. Make world.

Starting point is 01:20:52 I'm sure that a product exists somewhere in the grocery store. I'm sure. For some reason it grosses me out just thinking about it. Betsy made a face, but I, but I guess it's no different than a synthetic animal, really, you know, like, like, you know, synthetic meat.

Starting point is 01:21:09 It's like the same principle. It just feels wrong. I guess I would feel like, why would anybody want fish? Yeah. Why would anybody want something that tastes like fish? Come on. People love it. Whoa.

Starting point is 01:21:25 I got pretty rambly and far afield. Kind of lost at sea in my, in my meandering closing statement. So I'll just wrap it up and say that I am with, I am with the consensus. I say 3.5 pieces of eight for long John Silver's. Not a bad outing. Yarr.

Starting point is 01:24:06 Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. Yarr. yarr. Yarr.

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Starting point is 01:28:49 Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye.

Starting point is 01:30:20 Aye. Yeah. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye.

Starting point is 01:31:32 Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Splendid, Mister. Aye. Aye.

Starting point is 01:33:00 Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Your name is in the Oceans Terrifying. Yeah!

Starting point is 01:33:09 It's so scary. Ocean is scary. I grew up on the water and ocean is terrifying. I'm just going to say this. I Googled pirate hot dog, and the first thing that came up, was, first of all, before I even... Like the autocomplete thing, like a news article popped up about a guy who went to a costume party, dresses as a pirate, and no one else was dressed,

Starting point is 01:33:26 and that seemed kind of funny and distressing. But then, this was the first thing that popped up... Awesome. Yeah. And that's exactly what you want. We got to post that. That's cool-ass clip art of a pirate hot dog. Emma, can you find this?

Starting point is 01:33:40 If you search pirate hot dog or should I send it to you? Either way, let me know. I'll take a... I'm going to screen grab it right now. Whatever way is more work for you, Emma. We're going to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you turn it into a PNG, actually, it'll be better.

Starting point is 01:33:54 So, if you could modify it. If you could put it on like a Betamax tape, that would be incredible. Emma, is there a way that you can draw that from memory, what I just showed you in... You'd have to show it to me one more time, but yeah, sure, I'll try. I'll do it with my left hand to keep it authentic. I was going to say this. A lot of the news results I'm getting, because we Google, or we Bing, in Weiger's case. Yes.

Starting point is 01:34:21 Usually, we just Google or Bing hot dog. This year, we're going to Google and Bing pirate hot dog and went to the news section. And a lot of the things I'm getting, which are pretty good, are the best Halloween 2022 costumes for dogs. So, there's a lot of... Yes. There's a lot of good dog... Look, and you know what?

Starting point is 01:34:41 Maybe this is the news that divides us all. I mean, it divides us. It unites us all, because there's Fox News, USA Today, all these different... All these different things that have Halloween costumes for dogs. And they look really cute. There's a dog gear. There's a witch. I have a Fox News show.

Starting point is 01:34:59 I just went to my home page and got this name. Locals giving a round of applause for Semi's first Howl Halloween contest. And look at this little doggy who's got the hot dog costume. Love that. Like a French bulldog or a Boston Terrier. Very cute. So cute. So cute.

Starting point is 01:35:20 So cute. Wow. Wags. Here's another thing that we were going to do. Uh-huh. And our guests are going to be disappointed us that we didn't do it. We were going to do it for this month and we didn't do it. We were also going to...

Starting point is 01:35:33 We were going to maybe not do pirate speed. We were going to try to keep it all restaurants, but we decided to keep it easy. Wags did. And this is the other thing. And Wags, this was your idea and we didn't do it. Shacktoberfest brings Shack-sized Halloween fun to the Queen Mary. We were going to maybe go on a haunted Queen Mary with Shack. That's fun.

Starting point is 01:35:52 Look, we still couldn't do it. Super fun. We still could. I'm adding in myself because I do want to know what Shacktoberfest is all about. Hell yeah. And there's a Pirate's Cove. There's a maze, like a massive pirate ship. Pirate's Cove at Shacktoberfest.

Starting point is 01:36:11 That's why it came up, I believe. But why hot dog? I guess they maybe just sell hot dogs there. The profit margins are good on hot dogs. Also, Wags, I'm sure you got this one too. Murdar. Pirates of the Salty Dog. A deadly dinner play.

Starting point is 01:36:32 Where did we go? Olympia Elks Lodge. I'm trying to see where this is. And the Rochester Citizens Group. So this looks like it's in maybe Rochester, New York. Put it on the Doe Boys card. Let's go. Rochester, Washington?

Starting point is 01:36:51 Rochester, Washington. Here's one. We were talking about Shacktoberfest, which is down in Long Beach, California, which is near where I grew up. I went to middle school and high school in Long Beach. And Long Beach City College, the city college where my dad taught, celebrates homecoming with pregame midnight masquerade tailgate. Now, the connection this has to piracy or hot dogs, I have no idea.

Starting point is 01:37:18 But this one showed up. And they had a nice little sort of Halloween themed tailgate party before losing 41 to 17 at home. Hey, alright. But they had it. They tried, they tried. Man, I gotta tell you, I am looking through these dog costumes and it's the cutest shit I've ever seen in my life.

Starting point is 01:37:39 It's cute as hell. Yes. It's truly insane. I mean, I don't dress, Wally and Irma, my mom gave me like things to put around their collar one year. But like this hat. Look, there's, I mean, like, you know, like a dog dressed up like a hot dog. Right.

Starting point is 01:37:53 Classic. Oh, so good. I love that. And then also this one got me. Bumblebee guinea pig. Very cute. That is so cute. I love them because dogs are, they're usually unaffected by costumes.

Starting point is 01:38:09 Like, like, they can be annoying to them, but they're never, it's impossible for them to feel joy wearing a costume, which I think is the funniest part of it. Like, oh yeah. You know, they're unable to say, oh wow, I'm a lobster today. Isn't that novel? Yeah. A little.

Starting point is 01:38:26 Yeah. There's, there's something cute. There's cat dog as a dog. Yeah. That dog. Love an animal dressed as another animal. Mono, we know. My back cat.

Starting point is 01:38:36 Thankfully, you know, your pup is safe and sound. Have you ever dressed up your, first off, what type of dog is it? And you ever dressed that dog up? She's a teeny, tiny Chihuahua mix. Cute. Yes. We have some costumes we rotate. She's a lot.

Starting point is 01:38:48 There's lobster. There's like a rainbow. There's the taco. There's a couple of really dumb silly ones that make us laugh every time. And she, she hates them on her body, but I wish she knew how hilarious it was. She doesn't. Also, Mono, I was laughing what you said, and then also I laughed out loud at what the thing that Betsy sent to the chat is a hilarious dog costume.

Starting point is 01:39:12 Wait, I want to see this. It's, it's, it's like a sexy dog costume. Oh my God. Oh yes. Oh my God. What? It's like the dog has like, look, as a man who people have told me, I have a big titty energy.

Starting point is 01:39:27 This dog has a, this dog has like big, like it's got, it's got, she's got, she's got, she's got a lot working on the front there. Why she's got going on the dog. She's stacked up, she's stacked up top. She's stacked. This cat just looks miserable with a, with a, with a bread around it. But the one that's in, the thing that bums me out is that you see it's a little thing on the side here, but it looks like such a cute dog in a witch costume and they didn't

Starting point is 01:39:52 show us the deal. I have one more headline I'm going to share from my end, from Microsoft Bing. I'm going to, I'm going to Google Plank Wags as, as well while you say this last. Yeah. Cause I wanted to get something that was at least hot dog adjacent. That was at least food related because the segment is generally about hot dogs. And this is, this looks vile, but I think this is maybe appropriately trashy for our guest, which is this is a mum shares genius hack to create a hot dog picnic on the go.

Starting point is 01:40:20 And this is from the sun, which is UK publication. And I'll show, I'll share my screen so you can see what this looks like. So she is taking hot dogs and putting them in hot water in a thermos. Oh my God. And then sealing them in there. And then when you get to the picnic, you take those slowly, those, I guess, slow, soft boiled hot dogs out and put them on a bun. I think this is pretty good.

Starting point is 01:40:47 They're supposedly warm and tasty. It looks disgusting. It looks vile. It looks really gross. It's loving me out. And then you got yourself a drink. Yeah, it's a drag hot water. You got a, you got food and a drink once you're done.

Starting point is 01:41:00 I mean, yeah, that's like electrolyte rich. That's like sodium rich water. That's great. If you're an athlete, you drink your hot dog water. Yeah. You're ready for the game. Michael Jordan. That's like one of his failed things.

Starting point is 01:41:14 Yeah. I searched Plank and you know what's funny? It's so much of it is of course about planking, like, you know, like, like, Oh, the planking trend, right? Planks, you know, planks. You know, planks took over. Give me an old fashioned sit up. Planks took over the sit ups.

Starting point is 01:41:30 But there is one thing that says loving your leftovers. And it's a plank on the purpose of the Hellman's brand. I don't know what that is, but it is food related. Some blog. But you know what? There's some blog in defense of Hellman's, which is probably listened, written by some dough boys listener. But wise, I'll say this.

Starting point is 01:41:56 Pirate hot dog, harder thing to Google than just hot dog. Yes. The bit that we thought already thought the segment we thought was so bad. We just Google hot dog worse with pirate hot dog. I thought there'd be at least one like thing about a hot dog at a Pittsburgh Pirates game or something, but really just basically nothing, nothing about piracy and hot dogs together. I got a Pittsburgh Pirates report card so that like, but their season is over.

Starting point is 01:42:22 You know what I mean? That's the issue. Sure. Yeah. Um, anyways, that was let me be plank. Uh, that was let me be plank. Betsy Mono, before we, before we move on to a question, I just wanted to give each of you a chance to talk about hot dogs.

Starting point is 01:42:36 If you have any thoughts on hot dogs, which I don't know if it's a topic we would discuss in your private prayer, no boys experiences. We did not. I love hot dogs so much. Hell yeah. They're, I, there's, and I treat them like they're a treat for me. You know, it's not something I get all the time, but every now and then I'm like, I need a fucking hot dog with a bunch of fun stuff on them.

Starting point is 01:42:59 I went to, uh, Europe this summer and we went to Efteling, the like this really great amusement park outside of Amsterdam. And I had the best hot dog I've ever had there. Wow. Wow. It was so good. And they put all these different, like three different sauces that I couldn't like white, yellow and red and like pink and then like crunchy onions.

Starting point is 01:43:28 It was, it was a, it was an incredible hot dog that I'll never forget. I love hot dogs. I'm here for them all the time. Betsy, I had a similar system when I went to, uh, Italy and Austria and where else did I go? A third place. Um, I got, uh, I forget the trip already. Uh, home.

Starting point is 01:43:51 Do you mean coming home? No, I went to Italy and Austria and, uh, where's the last place I went? Oh, uh, oh shit. Um, oh fuck. Where the fuck was it? Are you okay? France? No, it was right by Austria.

Starting point is 01:44:05 Germany? No. Denmark? Czech Republic? Belgium. No. Sweden. Luxembourg.

Starting point is 01:44:13 Monaco. Let's keep going. Let's, let's keep going. No other other way. Switzerland. No other way. Keep going. Um, more East.

Starting point is 01:44:23 Poland. Um, Estonia? No, not, no God. Latvia. Latvia. Luxembourg. Macedonia. Liechtenstein.

Starting point is 01:44:32 Um, Yugoslavia. Romania. Ha, ha, ha. Ukraine. Hungary? Where you in Prussia? Were you, were you in Norway, Sweden, Finland? Were you up there?

Starting point is 01:44:41 No. No, I wasn't up there. What were the countries you gave again? You, you were in Italy and Austria. Italy and Austria. Yeah. And you went, and you're saying East of Austria. I got a map of Europe up now.

Starting point is 01:44:52 Mm hmm. Croatia? Did we say Croatia? I just got it. Budapest. I was in Budapest. Hungary. Hungary.

Starting point is 01:45:00 Okay. Budapest isn't Hungary. Someone said Hungary? You said, no to Hungary. I don't remember saying no to Hungary. Look, if you said Hungary, I would have said yes, no matter what, because I am Hungary. Very funny. Um, anyways.

Starting point is 01:45:15 Not, not even so. Wait, hold on. I didn't say his anecdote. Oh, right. I forgot. I forgot there was a point to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 01:45:24 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. An anecdote. Oh, right. I forgot. I forgot there was a point to you.

Starting point is 01:45:32 A point to me. Uh, I got a Kaiser Kraner in, uh, in Austria. I, and I came up with Kaiser Kraner right off the top of my head, but that was like, just like this big fucking sausage filled with cheese. Oh, maybe you can find it. Maybe you can, maybe you can Google Kaiser Kraner. It's gonna be impossible. And it was, and they, so they, it would just be a big thing of bread.

Starting point is 01:45:55 They'd hollow out the bread. They put the Christ Kaiser Kraner in there. And they fill it up with the sausage too. And Mike is not talking about the other day. It's like one of the best things I've ever eaten. It's so fucking good. That sounds. I love any like sausages, anything like that is just, I eat them all the time.

Starting point is 01:46:13 And we got a soccer torch and then something like that. And everyone was mad because it wasn't that good. And it took a long time to get it. Oh no. I can't believe I forgot Budapest. Oh well. Oh well. Mano, next question to you.

Starting point is 01:46:28 I apologize. Yes. No, it's fine. I like hot dogs, but not as, not as much as Betsy. I prefer a burger. Well, I guess I always think about hot dog be burger. And I'm definitely going to pick a burger before a hot dog. I don't know why that's like stapled into my brain burger. So I like them, but I got to pick burger first.

Starting point is 01:46:50 Does that make sense? Breaks with hot dogs. Hot dogs invaded Greece. It's 1811. 1811. They took over the island of Lesbos, which is why they became lesbians. Greeks do like burgers though. Greeks will like a good burger.

Starting point is 01:47:13 Greeks like burgers. They like meatballs, all that stuff. Lamb burger. I got a question for both of you now. What's yours to go? You're at a barbecue. What's yours to go line up? I was going to tell you mine.

Starting point is 01:47:24 Two hot dogs, two hot dogs and a burger. That's my, a cheeseburger. I get two hot dogs and I want cheeseburger. That's what I'm eating for the day. And maybe I'll get some potato salad or mac salad, but it's two dogs and a burger, cheeseburger. Like my, that's my go to. Mm hmm.

Starting point is 01:47:41 Ooh. I'll throw in mine is like, I want like a cheeseburger. Honestly, kind of plain. I just went burger, cheesebread, maybe dunk it in some ketchup. Cause I like just. Hey, nothing wrong with that? Right on the barbecue? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:47:56 Wimpy style. Yeah. And maybe a corn. If there's a corn option, I'll definitely get a corn. That's like a grill in corn or something. That's amazing. That's, that's at the top of my list. I got to say.

Starting point is 01:48:07 And then. Corn is going to get things moving for me. So that's why I maybe stay away from it. Cool. God. Sorry. That's the truth. Mono.

Starting point is 01:48:17 What are you saying? Maybe, maybe a watermelon. So much. Yeah. I love a dessert. So much. I'm like, hoping there's like a banana pudding there or something like that.

Starting point is 01:48:26 That's a big ask. Mono for barbecue. Yeah. I thought. Relax, Mono. Chill out, man. You had a hot dog with crunchies and pink sauce. That's crazy.

Starting point is 01:48:37 No. That's not a barbecue. I don't know what kind of a barren desert barbecues you're going to, but there's got to be dessert. There's got to be. Yes, but banana pudding is so like, I feel decadent. Where usually it's like a box of already made cookies from the grocery store. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:48:56 Those can fuck off. What about you, Bo? Mine, it's going to be, I think mostly sausage, like hot dog or sausage or one of each and all like, I love putting coleslaw right on my hot dog. Or yeah, I love just building them up and making them nuts. And I love it. I love it. I want, I went to the Patriots game the weekend of my 40th birthday wigs.

Starting point is 01:49:26 My sister put a happy birthday thing up on the screen. Micah's forgot to tell me to stay in my seat. So I missed it. And at the end of the game, when the game was over, I went and bought a sausage and onions. They were out of onions. I just bought a sausage, put some yellow mustard on it and I was a fuck. It was fucking delicious. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:49:45 Post game. They're like, you want one now? They're like, the game is over. People are like leaving the stadium. I was like, yeah, give me one. Insane move. Insane move. It's like, it's, that's like going to the restaurant at the airport you like arrived

Starting point is 01:50:00 at, you know what I mean? It's like, I don't need to go to this McDonald's at the airport where I just landed. I could just go to McDonald's or I can go, like just go home, you know, or go to my destination. Oh, no, you're right. It's kind of a crazy move. Yeah, you're right. I should have just gone to the sausage store on the way home. What the fuck are you talking about?

Starting point is 01:50:18 It was your birthday. I'm giving you, I'll give you a pass. It was your birthday, but it is a wild move. I understand why people were like, what are you doing? Yeah, it was just because of my birthday. That's why I did it. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:50:30 Kaiser Craner took a little bit of detective work for me to figure it out, but it is, it is K and then an A with an oom lot over it. Yes. It's not, it's not like, I assumed it was spelled like Kaiser and then Craner, but it's Kaiser Craner. And I guess it's a word of Slovenian origin, it appears. But, but yeah, it looks good. It's a sausage that is made with torn bits of pork and 10 to 20% of cheese.

Starting point is 01:50:58 So it's a cheesy pork sausage that does look really good. That sounds good. Torn pork. Wow. Very strange. Torn pork. Torn pork. Right.

Starting point is 01:51:11 Torn pork. Yeah. My, my, my grill, my grill lineup is, I'll, I think of, you know, I love a, I love like a, just like a, usually like a, like a hot dog and a flat top grill. We get a little bit of texture on it. But if I get a hot dog that's grilled outside with some of them grill lines on it, that's, that's an occasional change. I got to have one of those.

Starting point is 01:51:29 I got to have like a char grilled hot dog. So I'll definitely have a hot dog. I'll probably do one hot dog and one burger. And if I'm still hungry, I'll go back for like a second hot dog, but I'm not going to start with two hot dogs and a burger. That's a lot. And then I, and then what Betsy was talking about coleslaw, I love those creamy salads. If we got a creamy coleslaw, we got a max salad.

Starting point is 01:51:47 We got potato salad. Honestly, I'm taking a scoop of all three, but if I had to pick, I'd probably go potato salad first. Oh, I love potato salad. And sometimes I put potato salad on my hot dog and it rules. That sounds fantastic. That's fucking good. Yeah. So good.

Starting point is 01:52:03 If I was a tattoo guy, I'd tattoo grill marks down my back. You got to become one. Like a cross pattern, like the classic X design or just one way. I think just all down my back, like the little grill marks. Like it looks like I was thrown on the grill. Like a giant. Yes. You got to do that on your front too though.

Starting point is 01:52:26 Otherwise you're cooked unevenly. You put it on my front too. We can do that. I mean, it's not going to happen. A little tattooed tag that says raw dick meat. Just like... You just got to let people know you fuck, Mitch. Right.

Starting point is 01:52:49 A little tag that says half an ounce just coming off. Oh boy. Hey, that was let me be playing. That was so cool. Just like a restaurant value feedback. Let's up to the feedback. Today we have an email from Aaron from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Very polite to specify all three.

Starting point is 01:53:06 I think we could have gotten Ottawa. We could have figured out the rest. But Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, Aaron writes, Hello, Doughboys. Given that Halloween is just around the corner, I wanted to ask, are there any candy bars you think work better in their miniature or fun size form factor than at their normal size?

Starting point is 01:53:21 For example, I find the tiny cube shaped snickers to be more satisfying in one sitting and more aesthetically pleasing than their full size brethren. Those are good. Thanks for all the laughs and happy yark dobar chest to one and all. Oh. Those are good.

Starting point is 01:53:34 Those little square, those little cube snickers. They're really good. Those are nice. Yeah. Maybe a better proportion than the regular. Who knows? I don't know. You know what else?

Starting point is 01:53:43 I can toss right in there. Skittles bags. You just down the entire... You put the entire bag in your mouth. Fuck. That's a good answer. I love all the fun size. They're good.

Starting point is 01:53:52 That's the only way I can eat candy. The idea of buying a whole candy bar. Right. I can't even imagine being able to do that. I also got to say, I want y'all to do some investigative journalism because I just tried to eat a Reese's yesterday and the chocolate quality is getting worse every single year. Oh, no.

Starting point is 01:54:15 I can see that happening. Of course, then people were like, oh, is it just like you misremembering it? I'm like, no, I'm positive. They just slowly, slowly, slowly are making the chocolate worse. And I think y'all need to do an investigative docu-series. Yes. We could get Susser on this.

Starting point is 01:54:29 Susser famously, I guess not famously. Susser made some sort of news. He did a news piece about a... What was it about? A hot dog or some shit? It was about hot dog related. It was two friends who had a long dispute over a hot dog and kind of squashed the beef.

Starting point is 01:54:50 Yeah, we might be due for another one of those. I was going to say, and what Betsy was talking about, about how like, yeah, maybe not. I don't ever want a full, milky way. Like that's too much. Or a full three musketeers. I don't know if I've ever had a full three musketeers. But like a fun size three musketeers,

Starting point is 01:55:10 like yeah, I'll mix it up. I'll have one of those. Or a milky way dark or a... I like that. You know what else I like? Because Mono, you were talking about Reese's. There's of course the mini Reese's cups, which are fun. But there's also just the single full size Reese's cup.

Starting point is 01:55:27 Which is like great if you don't want to have a duo. You can exercise them restraint. I think both of those Reese's are good answers. The one single serving cup. And then also the Reese's mini cup. Both good. Both are very good. But like Mono was saying, the quality may be going down.

Starting point is 01:55:44 Christmas tree ones rule. The Christmas tree ones. Give those out of Halloween. Actually, what they give out of Halloween is the little pumpkin ones, which are good. Yes, I need to get some. Pretty fun. What else is there as far as fun size?

Starting point is 01:55:58 I think, you know what? I mean, this just goes into the milky way, whatever. But Kit Kats, I like way more in the fun size. There's like, I don't want to like a Kit Kat bar. I never want like a great bar. I gotta say, I also, this is a really cursed Halloween candy. I like, you know those flavored, the fruit flavored Tootsie Rolls. Oh yeah, wow.

Starting point is 01:56:21 They're like fruit flavored Tootsie Rolls. They're like not chocolate. I like those. And you like, they're just not around. They're not a popular thing by any means. They just kind of appear at Halloween sometimes. Should we flip the question? Is the question maybe better?

Starting point is 01:56:36 What's better? Yeah. What are the ones, if we take the premise and spin it around, are there anywhere you want, like I want the king size. I want that full size candy bar. Maybe a payday just cause I don't know if I've seen a, like I feel like that's the right proportion. I don't know if I've seen a fun size payday,

Starting point is 01:56:53 but I don't know if that's a great answer. I think, I think, I think starbursts are fun to eat in the fun size. But you want, sometimes, what if you get two yellows? You know what I mean? You want to, you, if with a full pack of starbursts, you want more starbursts. Starburst Rock. Eminem, I'd want a full bag of Eminems.

Starting point is 01:57:10 I was thinking Eminems, I could do a full bag of, full bag of Eminems. Peanut, peanut butter, regular, any of that. I used to really like this. Peanut butter and peanut are the big ones for me. I love those two. Yeah. They're so good.

Starting point is 01:57:26 But those are, but in essence, aren't those bite size? Like those are fun size. Good point. Yeah. The individual lentils are fun size. You know? Yeah. Come on.

Starting point is 01:57:39 Come on. Don't fuck with us like that. Come on. Okay. Okay. Here's, here's one I can do regular size. A York peppermint patty. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:57:49 That's what I'm talking about. I like those. I haven't like, usually I just have the mini ones, but like, I think I could eat a whole big one. I do kind of like the fun size versions of those too. Look, I'm going to just say this. The fun size with Eminems, they actually, the size of the candies are fun size,

Starting point is 01:58:06 but if I would want, I would want my peanut Eminem and my peanut butter Eminems, I want, I would want a full bag. I also can't believe as a little kid, I fucking didn't like peanut Eminem. I liked plain Eminems. I should go back in time and fucking strangle a little me fucking door.

Starting point is 01:58:22 Smack yourself. Fucking loser. Didn't like fucking peanut Eminems. I know. I think I was that way too. So dorky. And then I obviously grew to like them, but rather plain Eminem.

Starting point is 01:58:35 I mean, plain Eminems would be my last choice now as far as, you know, if it was peanut butter or peanut, I'd go, I'd go plain last. Yeah. What about those cookie dough bites? Those are another weird one that, you know, they don't get a lot of play. Love them.

Starting point is 01:58:51 I like those a lot. Here's the thing I'd want more of. Well, why is, you're not going to agree because you think gummy isn't yummy, but I'd want a full bag of Harry bow. Give me the big bag of Harry bows. Come on. I could do that.

Starting point is 01:59:03 When they're fresh. I love them when they're fresh. I like a fresh gummy. I also like Snickers. So I wasn't as on board with you guys with the Snickers. I, but you know what? The Snickers fun size are great. That's the issue.

Starting point is 01:59:16 Those are fun. They're really good. They're both great. I love, I love both of them. So the cube is great. And the, the, the little, you know, the little two inch is great. And then the, but I, I do like it.

Starting point is 01:59:27 Give me the Mitch one. The two inch. Let us know, let us know what thing, what candies you prefer in fun size. Hashtag fun size me. And if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dobuyspodcastedema.com

Starting point is 01:59:41 or leave us a voicemail at 830. Godot. That's 830-463-684-4. And to get the dobuys double our weekly bonus episode during the golden or platinum play club, patreon.com slash dobuys also Mitch, check out dobuys snack pack, hang out and chat with the two of us every Thursday

Starting point is 01:59:56 at 830 Eastern, 830 PM Eastern. Listen live on Spotify. Spotify live app. Check it out. If you ask like someone in the Mitchell family, like what's the big Snickers? They'll tell you the two inch one is the big one. The regular is gargantuan.

Starting point is 02:00:12 But hey, Wags. Yes. Look, maybe canonically, maybe, look, let's just say maybe Yark Dober Chest is coming to a close in some ways today. It certainly is. Lanto Wags. It certainly is.

Starting point is 02:00:30 So we have, we have, we have one more episode on the horizon, but what a final, what a, what a, what a delightful penultimate episode with our speciality, our man, our Gabby, and the podcast Two Spooky to Handle. Tell us about Two Spooky to Handle. Tell us about We Love Trash

Starting point is 02:00:46 and anything else you want to plug. Oh yeah. Well, Two Spooky to Handle is on Ear Wolf for free. And it's, it's truly me and Mano losing our minds and just doing a bunch of the stuff we love to do, just talk about spooky things, scream about who we love in the horror world, who we hate in the horror.

Starting point is 02:01:06 No, it's not really hateful. It's not a hateful podcast. Lot of love. Lot of love. Lot of love. And like y'all, we do tournaments, like kind of tournaments for our favorite Spooky characters. Hell yeah.

Starting point is 02:01:21 And we have two different tournaments going. So you can check in with the tournament. On both podcasts. Because we're so, we're such sports nuts that we love to get our favorite horror characters in a bracket and see which one comes out on top. Yep. Can I ask you, how's Jigsaw doing?

Starting point is 02:01:41 Oh, honestly, terrible. We hate it. Oh boy. I hate Jigsaw. He's a terrible character. Jigsaw's kind of a bummer. I hate it. His logic is like, I had cancer.

Starting point is 02:01:54 So now I need to make you appreciate life. That's such bullshit. All right. How's Jigsaw's Puppet doing? Oh, the Puppet. Puppet's doing okay. Puppet's doing great. Yeah, all right.

Starting point is 02:02:07 Puppet's doing good. Puppet and Bride of Chucky are really having a good time. Yeah. Tivity. We love Trash is on Patreon and then too spooky to handle for people who want to check it out. We should mention some number two. So search for two, number two spooky, number two handle.

Starting point is 02:02:27 Correct. And you'll be able to find that wherever you listen to podcasts. And hey, Mitch, that'll do it for this episode of Yark Dobar Chest. Until next time for the Spoon Dog, Mike Mitchell. I'm the dread podcaster, Nick Weiger. Yard me mateys. That's, I think Pirate Goodbye was better. Oh, that's what it was.

Starting point is 02:02:50 Pirate Goodbye. Sorry. See you, Org. Every Thursday at 8 30pm Eastern, you can chat with the Doughboys on Spotify Live. Download the Spotify Live app and join Doughboy Snack Pack to listen and even be a part of the show with me and Mitch. Doughboy Snack Pack every Thursday at 8 30pm Eastern. Listen live on Spotify. You

Doughboys - Yarrrrrctdoughbarrrrchest: Long John Silver's with Long Dong Silver aka Mano Agapion and Brown Plate aka Betsy Sodaro

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