Dr. Creepen's Dungeon - S4 Ep162: Episode 162: Alternate Reality Horror Stories

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

If you want to take ownership of your health, try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 Free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase. Go to www.drinkAG1.com/creepen   First up this evening we have all four episodes of ‘I'm a Warden Between Realities: I'm Hunting a Killer Sasquatch’, an original series by cesly1987; shared directly with me via my sub-reddit and read here with the author’s express permission: https://www.reddit.com/user/cesly1987/ We round things off with ‘If you find a VHS tape titled Professor Egghead's Adventures don't watch it’, a wonderful three-part series by Mike Jesus Langer, kindly shared with me via my sub-reddit and narrated here for you all with the author’s express permission:  https://www.reddit.com/r/MJLPresents/ https://www.reddit.com/user/MikeJesus/ https://twitter.com/MikeJLanger https://www.youtube.com/c/MikeJesusLanger

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Book an eye exam at Spexsavers.cavers.ca.caps are provided by independent optometrists. Visit Spexsavers.caver to learn more. Welcome to Dr. Creepin's Dungeon. Alternate realities, with their infinite possibilities and divergent paths, strike at the core of our deepest fears and uncertainties. The notion that there exist realms, where the course of history unfolds differently, where our choices lead to vastly disparate outcomes, challenges our perception of reality and confronts us

with the unsettling realization of our own insignificance. The thought of parallel worlds teeming with the world, teeming with versions of ourselves living alternate lives evokes a profound sense of existential dread, as we grapple with the haunting question of what if. As we'll see in tonight's two feature-length stories. Now as ever before we begin, a word of caution. Tonight's tales may contain strong language as well as descriptions of violence and horrific imagery. That sounds like your kind of thing.

And let's begin. I'm a warden between realities, and I'm hunting a killer, I must break the silence, I must let everyone know the dangers that exist in this world and others. To start, this world is not the only world. There's another world that lays on top of it, sometimes under it. They intertwine around, like snakes in mating or snakes in battle. Some places are openings where worlds bleed through into each other. There is a world you are familiar with.

Earth, the one dominated by homo sapiens and war. the one with rudimentary space travel and complex machinery for the purpose of entertainment the other one well the other one is vastly different it's not called earth his name is unable to be expressed in human language it's a place where reality is a strange and tangible thing more able to be manipulated thoughts and the physical define one another and play off one another the concept intertwine like braided cords the the world is overflowing with things extremely limited on earth. It would be called magic, if that simplifies it for you. But of course it's much more, and some of it bleeds through the realities

into Earth's realm to be used by humans. Sometimes entire entities from other realities bleed through either by accident or on purpose. And that's where I come in. I have different titles in different places, but the best way to describe my job would be a reality warden, a watcher between the worlds. I patrol the gaps between dimensions, a place where our worlds blend together, and things that don't belong slip through. You see, there are a lot of reasons for creatures

to sneak across the plains to enter Earth's realm. Just because Earth is low on magic doesn't mean it doesn't have tons of ingredients that magic uses deeply desire. This is the reason I'm on my current assignment. It's why I'm high up in a tree in Washington State Park, scouting out the surrounding forest. something has illegally crossed to earth to gather spell ingredients and i have to catch this creature before a lot of people are killed a leap from the tree to land with ease while the magical ruins embedded in my bandelier vibrate softly letting me know something is amiss i look down at my feet to see one black boot untie i sigh i lean over to retie it i could have easily slipped it's always the small things i forget

The prey I am after is a clever one, a fugitive from across the gap. He is a bane on any plane of existence he walks upon. I've been on his trail for years. I'll be sure not to let him slip away tonight. Chisar the cruel or chis to his fellow lowlives. He traffics in illegal goods between the realms, and he also traffics in people. I forgot to tell you he's a Sasquatch or a Bigfoot or whatever. you want to call them. They're not native to Earth. They come from large colonies across the gap.

In Chisar's circles, humans are in high demand. Yes, Earth may not have a lot of magic, but humans contain it within them, almost literally. Their organs and parts can be used for a myriad of magical potions and spells. Humans fetch a high price on the black market, dead or alive. Living humans can be bred for an infinite stock of magical ingredients. I may tell you about the horrors of the breeding camps, the human mills some other time. It's a good cautionary tale, but has no bearing on this current case. I make my way towards the cabin a mile away, a crumpled flyer in my hands. Chisar has been spotted in the area, whether from sloppiness or intentional.

Now he has a group of bigfoot hunters after him. The fly is from a signpost back in town. It seems that the United Susquatch Association, USA, were throwing a big party at the cabin before taking off into the forest with cameras, guns, and a lot of booze to finally capture

the elusive sapien. I needed to get the Bigfoot hunters before they actually did find him. Well, I pray they haven't yet. They really don't want to cross past with Chisar the Cruel. A quick look at the United Susquatch Association's Facebook page

showed me they were at least 15 members deep, at the cabin. I was surprised that many people still took Bigfoot seriously. We'd done so well discrediting witnesses throughout the years. Of course it would be the USA members who were just looking for an excuse to run around in the goods with guns. I heard in town they were trying to film a pilot episode for the travel channel, whatever that meant. I was quickly dodging between the trees at a light jog when I heard the gunshot. It wasn't far away and it was followed by a screen. I took a knee and tapped one of the ruins on my bandolier. The magic within it activated, and my senses sharpened.

It was already getting dark, but now I could see clearly. I could feel subtle vibrations of bugs moving in the dirt around me. I could smell the copper scent of gunpowder and blood, a lot of blood. I took off at a sprint now, my enhanced senses allowing me to bob and weave deftly between the trees and over the bushes. fear and adrenaline pumped through my veins. I was afraid I was too far away and was too late to stop Chisar from killing again. As I got closer to the origin of the gunshots, the smell of blood and bullets was almost overwhelming. I breathed in slightly from my nose to gather the information telling the blood was from a man further to my left.

The scent told me the man was bleeding profusely, had been drenched in sweat and had soiled himself. I broke through the underbrush to find the body. It was a bearded man decked out in Cammer, laying on his back, staring glazed into the sky. His face was now frozen forever in a scowl of pain and terror. His right hand had a white-knuckled death grip on a bent rifle. The rifle's barrel twisted up almost at a right angle. His stomach had been ripped open with his guts grotesquely thrown about him. I could see parts of his intestines running up from his body,

to loop over a branch a couple of feet away. Blood and viscera decorated the surrounding trees like a terrible art exhibit. It was like whoever had ripped him open had thrown his insides about in a hurry, like a child digging for his favourite toy at the bottom of a toy box. I knelt down next to the desecrated man. I bent over with my head angled, so I could look into the gaping wound that used to be the dead man's chest. I found or didn't find what I expected. the heart was missing. The guts had been cleared out so the killer could reach up under the rib cage

to secure his prize. Human hearts fetched a hefty price across the gap and it could be used in a variety of potent spells. Of course there were more parts of the human body that could be used for spells, but the heart was the most important. Chisar must have been in a hurry. He could have stripped the body clean,

but he only grabbed the most valuable part before running off. I had no doubt Chisar would come back to harvest the corpse, but right now he was killing all the humans in the area before they got away from him. He could take his time once they were all good and dead. I breathed in deeply, and my powerful senses differentiated between a litany of smells to find the one I was looking for. I picked out the foul stench of Chisar. It was a mixture of unwashed fur, rancid sweat and decay.

I stood and faced in the direction. in the scent legs. I said a prayer to my ancestors to help me be able to save the survivors, if there were any. Three minutes later, I approached the giant two-story cabin. I quickly counted seven vehicles out front, not counting multiple four-wheelers and buggies. All of the tires on the vehicles had been flattened, and one car was missing at driver's side door, revealing a seat filled with a red pool of blood and mangled meas. I crouched low and began sneaking towards the door. I rubbed a rock ruin on my belt to activate a noise dampening aura around. One of my runes was already activated. It worked by taking the scent of the surrounding area

and having my body magically produced the scent instead of my own natural smell. It was good camouflage, but the spell could be easily broken if somebody was aware of me or was mentally concentrating on me. The heavy wooden double doors that were the entrance to the cabin had been bashed open. One door now resembled kindling that it exploded violently inward and across the floor of the cabin. I stepped across the threshold carefully, trying not to crunch the wood and bits of glass underfoot. The giant common room was dark, but the scent of blood and bodily fluids was overpowering. Only the low fire in the fireplace threw dancing shadows across the horrific scenes. I can make out destroyed furniture and bodies strewn all about.

Balloons drifted lazily above, bumping up against the ceiling. To my right was a folding table set up to block access to the stairs. Food and drinks were set up on the table and a banner saying, Congrats USA on the TV show, with the travel channel logo and a comical Bigfoot drawing. Well, I guess my intel is old. The hunter's already got the TV show. show deal and they were all celebrating when Chisar rolled up and began his slaughter. There were more people here than expected. They looked like families. It was a celebration.

I counted the dead and dismembered, guts torn open and hearts ripped out. It was terrible, and I felt the weight of guilt and anger pulled down on me. I looked down around at the frozen faces of terror and pain, a death mask on the murdered people. Twenty-one men and And women, thankfully no children. A new Chisar was ruthless, but how did he kill so many so quickly? A back door to the cabin had been left wide open. My enhanced eyesight picked out two crumpled bodies laying out in the clearing behind the cabin.

They'd made it further than the others. There were also more cars parked around the back, hiding their numbers. It must have been a surprise party. The USA's family members had interested. interrupted a boy's hunting trip to celebrate the new TV show. But where were the children? All the dead were adults,

with the youngest being a clean-shaven man who lay broken over the torn couch. I glanced back at the table to see a keg of alcohol. Maybe it was a party for adults only. Maybe no children were invited. My heart sank as I spotted evidence to refute my theory. On an end table that hadn't been overturned, They a spilt juice box and one of those spinner things the young played with. It began my search anew, breathing deep of the foul stench around me in a vain effort to detect the scent of living children.

I moved into the adjoining kitchen with its large L-shaped island and barstools. I immediately noticed a barstool propped against the door of the pantry. I rushed over to it and paused to sniff the air again. I could smell the vivid scent of children on the other side of the door. in a haste I tossed the bastule away and flung the door open the ambient light from the kitchen revealed the huddled shapes of six children and they all began to scream their high-pitched screams maybe it was foolish of me to rip the door open and scare the already traumatized children

but I didn't care I was so thankful to see their terrified tear-stained faces there were six of them three girls and three boys The oldest girl was around 12 or 13, hugging all of them close, shielding them with her body. One of the boys looked the youngest at around five, with the rest in between. I held up both my hands, palms out, patting the air in a calming gesture. The screams continued for a little longer while I gently shushed them. Their wide eyes began to blink as they slowly realized I was a man, not a monster. I knelt down in the doorway and put a smile on me.

face. I'm here to help, don't worry. I'm here to take you away from this scary place. I explained in the calmest voice I could muster. The children just stared back at me, and the oldest girl shot daggers at me with her eyes. Who are you? The oldest girl demanded from me. She was pretty with a face full of freckles, jet black hair tied into pigtails and a red dress with white polka dots. She also wore white knee-high socks and shiny black shoes. her attire seems out of place to me but i couldn't be called an expert on what children wore these days i'm a good guy i was called to come help all you get back home i said the children were unfazed and unconvinced they just stared at me huddled closer together the oldest scanning me up and down with distrust

i'm here to stop the bad thing that scared all of you i'm going to i paused trying to think of something convincing and reassuring. I'm going to take it to master jail, where it can't hurt you. I finally said. Are you a cop? asked the smallest boy, pulling his thumb out of his mouth for just that instance. Yeah, I smiled. Something like that. I offered a hand for them to shake. But first, I'll make sure all of you are somewhere safe. I could take them upstairs and set up magical wars to keep them safe. It would take time, but I needed to secure the survivors before I challenged Chisoff. We're not going anywhere, said pigtail poker.org, interrupting my train of phones. We don't know you. We're going to wait until our parents come for us. She finished

in a stern voice. I was impressed by her bravery. The other kids seemed to be in shock, but she just pushed through the fear to protect them and stand up for them. She had to held herself like she was just standing up to a teacher at school and not in a life or death situation. I'd have to handle her differently. Please, understand me. My name is Locke. Like a doorlo, I said, with another attempt at a calming smile. Mimicking the correct emotions had always been hard for me, but I had to try.

But I know your parents, or at least I know the leader of USA. say. They hired me to come and rescue you if Bigford showed up. It was a lie, but I'd say anything to get them to listen. We will stay here, pig tales demanded, her eyes intense. What's your name, sweetie? I asked gently. The girl looked disarmed. She quickly looked down at one of the younger girls and said, I'm Kayla. The younger girl's face brightened up and she announced, my name's Kayla too She smiled up at Big Tail Polka dot Kayla with excitement

How cool was it to meet an older kid with the same name Well Kalas I paused as I heard the approaching footsteps of something outside Stay in here while I make sure everything's okay I rushed to say I quickly closed the pantry door and placed a rune stone in front of it

The stone would magically mask the scent of the children I spun around quickly to stalk to the middle of the living room where I prepared for whatever was running towards the front door. I used my thumb on my right hand to rub the enchanted ring on my index finger. This woke up its potent magic to be on standby for use. All I had to do was grunt the right syllable to activate it. My left hand pulled out a long knife coated in a paralyzing toxin. All I had to do was Nick Chisar to freeze him up for hours.

I could take him in alive if he let me. As the footsteps drew near, I realised they were too quiet to be Chisar, and I caught the scent of a human. I quickly sheathed my knife behind me as the man crossed the doorway of the cabin. It was another bearded man in Camel. His bald head and face were bleeding from multiple tiny cuts,

and his eyes bulged widely. He levelled his shotgun at me and racked the slide, ejecting a perfectly good shell. He must have been running through the woods, and he was so scared he was double pumping his weapon. Who the hell are you? The man yelled, more in fear than confrontation. I work for the park. I said calmly.

I'm here to get you and the children to safety. The children? He asked loudly. Where is my son? Where is he? They're safe in the pantry. I'll help all of you, I assured him. Now, will you please stop pointing that gun of business?

me. I saw the man's eyes soften as he realized I wasn't a threat. He lowered the shotgun and let out a sigh mixed with the sob. We have to hurry, partner. The squatch is close. The man spoke before he was interrupted, giving a sudden grunt. I saw a glimmer of movement behind him, over his shoulders. The man's arms whipped out to either side, outstretched like the godman Jesus looked in the paintings. His shotgun was flung into the corner of the room. He was flung into the corner of the room as he stared at me in pure confusion and terror. It only took me a moment to realise what was happening. It was Chisar, and he was equipped with an invisibility spell. As soon as I realized this, the magic of the spell was broken, and I saw the monster with my own

eyes. A gigantic Chassar stood behind the squirmy man towering over him. Chisar had a hold of both of the smaller man's arms in his own giant midst. a man's arms were being pulled to breaking point outwards Chisar easily began to lift the crying man into the air The muscles in the monster's hairy arms flexed like corded steel The poor man looked up to see the grinning face of Chisar the cruel looking back down at him Does the little monkey see me now? Chisar asked in English

He waited to see the look of terror on the man's face before yanking both of the man's arms off in a fanta explosion of blood and violence. The sickening snap of bone followed by the ripping sound of flesh and tendons turned my stomach. Worst was the horrid, guttural yelp of the dying man that he let out before he thudded face first to the decorative carpets, blood raining around him. Chisar stood to his full height of eight and a half feet tall, a crooked smile across his wide face. His right eye glazed over and scarred from our last fight, while the other side. was a sickly yellow his brown fur was coarse and matted with dirt with multiple

pouches and belts decorating his body a giant lumpy sack was hanging under his arm for easy reach I could see the red liquid leaking from it and the bulging shapes of the organs stuffed inside it was filled with the hearts Chisara ripped out of these people I put on a terrified face and held my hands out defensively I looked a lot different from the last time we'd fought and I wanted him to think of me as a scared human prey all i had to do was get him once with my poison dagger jessar was still holding the dead man's dismembered arms like some sort of bloody ended clubs he tossed them both to the ground with a wet thump he looked right at me and gave a croaking laugh you can drop the act lord

the grungy monster told me i've had your said this whole time i knew you'd go The monster tapped his nose and then his good eye. Let me see the real you, Clankin. Not this hume suit you're wearing. I'm not your Clan King, Chisar. You were exiles. I spats. But it would give Chisar what he wanted.

I stood straight and grabbed a hold of the illusion crystal I'd activate it. A simple word from me deactivated its magic, and the false image of me disappeared to reveal my true self. Instead of a well-built black man in my mid-thirties with a black trench coat and combat boots, I grew in size and my shoulders widened. Where Chisar's fur was ratty and light round, mine was sleek and jet black. My clothes disappeared to show my bandolier in multiple pouches strapped upon me, much like Chisar. A silver circular disc hung from a chain on my neck.

It was my clan's marking. It was a symbol of my station. Chisar the cruel The Council of Clans is demanded an audience I'm thereby charged to perform the duty of my clan Clan Bayot I'm compelled to take you back

to be held responsible for your atrocities and for your insult to the tranquility and honor of the realm I recited with practice like I had a hundred times before with other criminals Chisar just stared back flatly I remember the speech from the last time

Chisar said as he pointed at his foggy eye. You gave me this. Now I want payback. I cracked my neck and rotated my shoulders. Glad to be in my true form again. Glad to be a Sasquat. I stood seven feet tall, short for our kind, while Chisar stood at eight and a half, tall for our kind.

But I wasn't worried. I'd bested him in combat before. Only his magic tricks had helped him escape capture. Oh, Chis, you're always the fool. I taunted. The council also sanctioned your killing if you resisted. I looked around at the mangled human bodies around them. Truth is, I continued. I'd made my mind up to kill you a while ago. At least I won't have to lie on my report about you fighting bad. I'd forgot you were such a humia lover. Chisar growled back.

You're at a severe disadvantage this time. I heard the pantry door open behind me, I half turned to see Polka-Doc Kayla approaching. You bad, Kaila, I said, not taking my eye off, Chisar. Loving humees is your weakness, Chisar said before busting out in an awful laughter. I turned to look fully at him,

not understanding his sudden mirth. That's when I heard the faint swsh of my poison knife being pulled out of its sheath. An instant later I felt the knife poking against my neck. An evil laughter echoed Chisar's own laughter from over my shoulder. I suddenly got the scent of another Sasquatch, a female. That's when I fully realized my mistake. The little girl was a Sasquatch in disguise, sent to control the children like the pied

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try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase. All you need to do is go to drinkag1.com slash creepen. That's drinkag1.com slash C-R-E-E-P-E-N. So join me and check it out now. Part two. It's half me to admit, but I'd made a grave mistake. I'd neglected to consider Chisar's on and off again mating partner. I'd allowed her to trick me as she posed as a human girl. I could have easily broken her illusion spell with only a second suspicious look. My relief at finding a group of living children was so great I never checked for deception spells, like I'd been trained. Only the protection of my ancestors. That terrifying night keeps me breathing today. Lelyl of Clan Tongara.

She was in a prison camp the last time I'd run into Chisar, so I got used to him being alone, but the two had always been tight. They had a toxic relationship that turned deadly to anyone around them. Seems they only stopped fighting with each other when there were others to be hurt. It was like they craved the act of inflicting pain. They amplified each other's vile,

nature, they pushed each other to kill. Now I was stuck between the two of them. Leilf was holding a poison knife to my throat, and the massively muscled Chisar blocked the door in front of me. I needed to activate the spell on the ring on my middle finger. If I could rub the front of it with my thumb, the potent magic would activate and time would freeze for everything but me. The spell was a specialty of my clan. The time-free spell was only available to peacekeepers it was powerful and extremely dangerous if not used correctly moving too fast without reciting the healing mantra in your head would cause all your muscles to tear my heart would be stopped during the spell if I inhaled too deeply my lungs would rupture

gravity didn't affect me during the spell so I wouldn't have to lift my leg push it down left push the whole thing felt like swimming through a thick syrup and the most important thing was to count in your head. Count of three, count to seven or maybe ten, before reciting the mantra to dismiss the spell. Things got more painful the longer you counted, more confusing. If you lost count or lost focus, your mind could be caught in a tailspin of a time-displayed psychosis, TDP. Your mind would feel trapped for days or weeks within the spell. the effects of TDP have been described as a week-long intense migraine while being suffocated while hallucinating your worst fears

when you finally come out the other end of the spell you'd be exhausted completely confused and a bit insane but the spell would give me the edge I needed to sidestep the blade to my throat and dart to slip around Chisar and get out of the cabin well as if Leilif was reading my thoughts she used my knife to nick my ear The paralysing agent coating the knife worked fast and my whole body tightened up. I let out a groan as my chest contracted and I stiffened up like a board.

My entire body buzzed like it was an electric current running through me. I would have toppled over like a toy soldier caught by a gust of wind, if not for Layliff steadying me on my feet. She let out a cackling laugh as she balanced me to stand on my own. My, my, cheers. I've always wanted a cup of back to pull. play with. Want to take our time cutting up bit by bit. She spoke in her raspy, shrill voice. She walked around into my field of view. She laughed again at my face, contorted into a toothy grimace

from the poison. She was smaller than she saw about my height, but she was lankier and had longer fur. She was also obviously a female by her prominent curves and hips. Her fur was brown and braided in certain spots. Many bone necklaces were looped around her neck. One large ivory bone pierced her nose. But her face was narrow, cheek sunken, an eyes too close together to be considered attractive by my kind. Maybe she'd been attractive when she was younger, before she partook of every vice from both worlds. She walked over to Chisar, and he bent down so he could rub her face against his. She looped her long arm around his neck and turned to look at me. me languidly. Chisar sniffed at her and said,

Good to see you in your true form, baby. I can't stand the sight of humeys. Lelyf reached down and grabbed the inside of Chisar's leg and watched him jump in surprise. Maybe I can use the spell to look like a hume-later for you to punish me, she cooed at Chisar with a seductive smile. I felt like I was going to puke. But as long as they were talking, the longer I had to up with a plan. My mind raced and I felt like a rat in a cage, but this cage was sinking into quicksand. Finally, I thought of something and it was a truly bad idea, really a stupid idea, but it was my only idea that might work. I slowed my breathing and focused on my finger that had the freezing time spell. The two killer lovers prattled on about something as I tried

to move all my cheek to my fingers. If I could activate my ring, time would freeze around me, but my body would still be functioning within the time bubble. My consciousness would still be active, and so would my internal organs, if I commanded them to work. I could intentionally lose myself in the spell and endure hours or even days of torture, long enough to work the toxin out of my system. I'd have to pump up my heart and flush the toxin out of my body. I would have to breathe and let hours pass while time was at a standstill. I said earlier this could rupture my lungs, but it could maintain them if I used my chi and mantra to accomplish it.

This was stupid and extremely dangerous, but I had no other option. If I messed up, my heart would explode. This was true in extreme cases, but mostly victims of TDP came out the other end, having a stroke or a heart attack. there was a way to survive without my heart killing me on the other end of the spell. There was a healing mantra for the heart specifically that I could recite while stuck in my mind. The trick was not losing focus on the mantra while my mind went through hell.

That would be three mantras, one for my heart, one for my lungs, and one to keep my mind from shattering completely. They will be recited in my mind constantly. If I lost the rhythm, I would surely die today. "'Wait, Chis!' Leiliff inquired, cocking her head as she looked at me. "'Why isn't the furrow on his back copper like all the other law-worshipping bastards of the Baye-Yok clan? "'It was copper the last time we fought him, wasn't it?' she asked, looking up lovingly to Chisar. "'Chesar smirked and let out a derisive laugh.

"'That's because, old lark, isn't a blood member of the clan. "'He's a hang around that kissed their self-righteous ass, ass, his sort. so much they finally led him into the gland. That's why he's so little, and has that shitty dark fur. Layliff cackled, and Chisar joined in while groping her and pulling her close to his body. Chisar began marching towards me, bending over slightly to look me in the eye. He lowered his shoulder like he was coming in for a tackle, but I knew what he was doing. He was showing me the copper-colored fur on his back.

He was mocking me. "'I must tear you up inside, a lark.' "'Cesar spoke, now only inches away from my face, "'his rancid breath filling my nostrils. "'The fact that I am a true-blooded Bayo clan member, "'and I've turned my back on my pious kin. "'And there's you, a clanless mud "'that had to grovel to be accepted

"'as a peacekeeper in my clan.' "'Cesar was right about most of it, "'except he didn't willingly leave the clan. Chisar was disavowed and excommunicated by the clan when he was caught violating his peacekeeper duties. He was discovered helping criminal elements in the illegal trafficking of humans. His partner, a warden of great integrity, found out, and Chisar killed him. He earned the cruel part of his moniker when he killed his partner's family as well. He was trying to make it look like a criminal cartel, a place to hit on his partner's entire family.

This was a common tactic used by a vicious criminal gang known as the shrouded star. The only problem was a child survived. It was his partner's young daughter. Chisar had left her beaten and in a coma. Of two years I protected the comatose cuff from Chisar's secret attempts to kill the helpless witness. He hired assassins to kill the defenseless girl, but I protected her. We were always on the run trying to stay ahead of the assassins. but Chisar used his contacts in the clan to always find her.

I'd had my suspicions. Chisar was dirty, but I was an outsider, and Chisar was an honoured blood member. So I kept the sleeping child alive until she awoke two years later. She quickly IDed Chisar as her family's killer. That was 30 years ago, and now me and Chisar faced one another once again. I had to risk everything to stop his murderous rampage through the realms.

The surviving children would either be killed or forced into a worse fate in the breeding mills if I failed. Chisar's ugly face was smiling at me when I activated the time spell with my finger. The hatred I felt as I looked upon his scarred countenance could be the mental anchor I needed to get through this spell with my mind intact. Well, I know I've introduced a lot of new concepts and information to you in only a short time, but please bear with me. I'll try my hardest to interpret what happened to me during the time freeze. Later I can break down the theoretical uses of magic and how it works, but for right now, try to follow along as I give a crash course. I focus my chi on keeping my heart from rupturing.

I pulled air in and out of my lungs by manually asserting myself, but the air around me was also frozen in time, so nothing fresh came in after two breaths. thought and belief have a great effect on magic maybe you call it faith so I had to believe I was breathing air in my lungs by reciting the healing mantra in my mind even though it felt like I was suffocating

like Schrodinger's cat I was dying and being kept alive at the same time my existence kept in balance by magic and my sheer force of will oh it's hard to relate how long it felt while I was frozen. It was terrible and seemed like an eternity. But as my mind began to hallucinate and my body screamed in panic,

I focused on Chisar's ugly face. My hate would be my anchor. My mind began to dream, showing me the child's Sasquatch waking up from her coma. I saw the tears in her eyes as she remembered the murder of her family. I'd been around the Cubs age when my family had been murdered. I was left an orphan without a clan just like her. I'd pledge myself to the Bayoch clan to be a peacekeeper,

and they put me through hell to earn my place, but eventually I became a warden so I could help broken children. My whole life played back to me, but distorted and cruel, even though it had been cruel enough already. Finally I came back to the point in my life where I opened the pantry in the cabin to find the human children hiding. but this time all the children were dead their bodies ripped to pieces their organs piled on top of their discrated bodies Kyla Layliff stood atop the gore pile in human form

She was holding the head of the younger girl in her hands The evil Kayla laughed the horrid laugh in Layliff's voice The head of the younger girl also named Kayla Opened her dead eyes to look at me She spoke in a raspy voice save us lock like a door lock save us lock like a door lock as dark blood began spurting out of her mouth

the human child's bloody head slowly transformed into Chisar's grinning face I once again realized where I was standing in the cabin surrounded by bodies I stared at my hated enemy and realized my body no longer had the tingling sensation of the paralyzing poison in my veins The healing mantra repeated in my mind like a record on repeat.

I felt confusion spin back up like a mental tornado that would pull me back into hallucinations and nightmares. I had to end the spell. I had to attack Chisar. I focused my mind to a sharp point and mentally commanded the mantra to end the time freeze. At the same time I thrust my right hand forward with all my might. When the spell ended my fist, it moved forward. faster than the speed of light to smash through Chisar's chest. It was as if my arm just phased through his massive chest to appear out the other end.

An instant later, his blood and viscera exploded outwards, spattering layliff behind him. Coming back to reality for being suspended in time for what seemed like a millennia had immediate dire consequences on my body. I was no longer paralysed, but my body might break down anyways from the shock. The clap of a sonic boom shattered all the windows in the cabin and threw both me and Chisar apart from each other. Chisar bowled into Lelyf and they both tumbled out the doorway into the yard as I was launched back to smash into a dresser, exploding it into kindling. My head pounded and heart raced as I let out an animalistic scream of pure pain and frustration. My right arm hung limply by my side, broken in multiple places.

Training had taught me to be completely still when ending the time spell, but in my confusion I lashed out, punching, with momentum at a supersonic speed, and this foolish move had shattered my arm. I fussed and screamed. My mind was still thinking I was trapped in time. I fumbled with a shaky left hand to pull a small glass vial from my belt. I crushed it against my forehead and like the calming ointment run down my face. I breathed its cruelly. crisp sent in, helping me focus my scattered mind.

Even now that my head was back on straight, it didn't mean my body was going to hold up. I was partially embedded into the thick wall directly behind me. I was crumpled up in a sitting position, my back throbbing, my arms, screaming with agony. I could hear Layliff freaking out, outside in the hours. She was screaming and calling out to Chassar repeatedly. He must have looked like a gory mess. I couldn't help but smile in spite of my pain. The hearts, I heard her ask.

I heard more growling and mumbling from Chisar. Before she replied, Yes, love, anything. Just stay with me while I prepare the spell. Stay with me. This was not good. Layliff was going to use forbidden blood magic to heal Chisar. The human heart could be used for a very powerful healing spell.

I focused on listening for something. coming from the killers outside. I could hear Leilif pulling Chisar deeper into the forest, probably looking for a safe place to perform a healing spell ritual. I was already at a severe disadvantage before, but if Leeliff buffed Chisar with blood magic, me and the surviving children had no chance in escaping tonight. I had to think, fast. I had to do something to tip the odds in my favour. I thought of my infantry of spells and magical items I had. I had to think, and I had to think, on my person. Most were standard issue to members of the Bayog clan. The most potent one was the time-freezing ring I'd already spent. The only thing left was my amulet of ancestors.

Well, the amulet of ancestors was what it sounded like, an amulet. I received it upon being accepted into the clan once I became a warden. It was only to be used in severe instances where a clan member was on the brink of death or a defeat that could cause severe severe dishonour to the clan. When the amulet was activated, it sent a beacon of invitation to all Bayeuk clan ancestors who had already passed on to the afterlife. Any ancestor could choose to come to your aid, or they could refuse to help. But once an ancestor had lended you their strength, wisdom, and skill, it took a very heavy toll on your body. You could be stricken with a chronic sickness, a loss of a limb or even blindness.

Requesting help from the afterlife always came with a heavy price. It was a last ditch effort to keep yourself alive, but it still wouldn't be enough. I would still be outmatched. Chisar would be powered by blood magic, and Layliff was an expert with hexes and curses. I needed something else to give me an edge. That's when I saw it. A human heart had fallen out of Chisar's bag when I'd hit it. him. It lay in a bloody pool on the cabin floor. The red organ tempted me like the fruit

tempted your biblical eve. It was against clan doctrine, and I would be punished severely, but it would work. I could defeat Chisar and save the human children. I had to eat the heart. I worked fast, as fast as I could in crippling pain, to set up the blood-magic spell. I'd been forced to learn forbidden magic as part of my job to recognise and fight it. I'd never once performed an illegal ritual myself, though. I'd used chalk to draw a circle and symbols of power around the heart. I began my low chant of attuning magic into the dead heart. I was using siphoning magic from my chi to activate the magic within the heart, and after a couple of minutes, I felt it awakened, and it began to pump on its own. I'd done a crappy job, and the

spell would be weak, but I had no time left. I hoped even a low-powered heart could help me survive this night. So I lifted the wet, pulsing heart to my mouth. If I ate this, it would put an end to my unblemished career. I'd worked harder than any other warden to gain the respect of the Bay York clan. will be eating human flesh of a murdered victim to perform an illegal spell. Locke, Locke of the Bayoch clan, I'm coming for you, came the loud, animalistic scream from Chisar. His declaration was followed by Lelif's cackling laughter. She'd done it. She had healed him. I was about to die if I didn't eat the heart. I took a big bite from the gooey organ.

I was surprised in how delicious it was. I shoved the rest into my mouth, eating greedily. I felt the magic pulsing within me immediately. A great heat spread from my stomach outwards. My shattered arm bones melded back together. The pains all in my body winked out of existence. I stood up and felt alive. I felt perfect.

I raced outside to face Chisar under the night sky. I watched the tree line with heightened concentration. ready for him to emerge. I saw movement, too small, too fast. I sidestepped to an ATV being launched at me. It smashed into a parked car behind me. How would Chisar done that? Had he thrown it?

My question was answered as Chisar came bounding out of the tree line, his frame even more massive than before. He stopped and looked at me with crazed eyes, drool frothing from his mouth. His muscles rippled and pulsed like the heart I had eaten. You're back on your feet. Good. It pleases me to know I made you compromise your integrity before I kill you. Chisar said in a deep voice, spittle flying everywhere. Chisar, what have you done? I asked in terror. I had never seen anything like him before. My Lelif is quite the witch. The time it took for you to enchant one heart, she enchanted five of mine.

Five, I repeated in a weak voice. His muscles continued to grow and he now stood at around 13 feet high. Don't worry about me, Long, Jis Armant. I feel perfect. Hey, Ontario, come on down to BedmGM Casino and check out our newest exclusive. The price is right, fortune pick. Don't miss out. Play exciting casino games based on the iconic game show.

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Chisar the cruel. He's a much taller and stronger, Susque. to make things worse he has buffed up his body by eating five human hearts as i stood 20 feet away from the grinning hulking chisar i knew the one heart i'd eaten wouldn't be enough to defeat him the silence between us was oppressing a cloud blocking the moon moved enough for its light to illuminate us all i could hear was chisar's heavy breathing the pounding of my own heart come on lord oh chisar screamed come harassed I remained as still as a statue, but this aggravated the rabid Chassar.

After I kill you, I'll have my mate scoop out your brain. My Lailiff knows enough spells to look into your memories. I'll find the girl, you know, the little coma girl. I'll finish what I started and kill her for sure this time. I knew this wasn't a bluff. Chisar was vindictive enough, and such magic spells were possible. I'd seen the Bayo clan used it on murder victims to find their killers. Fine, if you don't want to make the first move, I...

She saw her interrupted himself by launching towards me like a freight train. Pre-forming an attack in the middle of a sentence was one of his dirty tricks, meant to catch me off guard, but I'd seen this trick before. I sidestepped him easily, this time, his fist almost rocking my skull loose. As his momentum carried him by, I could feel a gust of air, generated by his swing, sweep across my fur. He pivoted quickly and sprung back at me. I avoided his attack by batting aside his fist with both forearms, while leaning away

from him. Even though it was a glancing blow, both my arms jaunted in pain. He was much faster and much stronger than before. I'd bested him once in his normal state. He always relied on his size and brute force to bash his way to victory, and many of my kind had fought this way. It was a source of pride to match strength to strength, but I'd studied many of Earth's martial arts, something seen as dishonorable in my realm, and combined it with Bayotte fighting style. As advanced as Sasquash society was in every way compared to humans, humans were always far more advanced in killing.

Most of my society lived in relative peace. war was rare and unnatural not like on earth where societies are built upon killing each other and fighting styles are honed for centuries jissar launched a swinging backhand at me i ducked and came up with a hard jab right to his throat it felt like punching a wall made out of meat and jasar showed no effect and jasar continued swinging at me over and over never losing steam i was barely dodging his lethal strikes by inches. If any connected, I'd be dead. Every time I saw an opening, I shot back with my own pinpoint attacks. My strikes were all to pressure points and weak spots on a Sasquatch's body, but none of them even slowed him or stunned him. His unnatural muscle mass was like a thick,

spongy layer of body armour. The magic flowing through him could keep him at peak performance for days. I took a chance and slowed my dodging to get better footage. to launch my own attack. I needed to put more power to take him down. Chisar squared up with me and came in low with a tackle. I jumped right back at him instead of dodging. I took a flying leap and slammed both my fists down on top of his head with all my strength. Chisar's face was smacked down into the dirt. My fists throbbed numbly as I stepped back from him. But my gamble had worked and redirected his forward momentum into the ground. If he were to grapple me up, I'd be dead.

I reached into my bandolia. I put a freezing spell on him while he was down. Faster than anything I'd ever seen before, Chisar launched upwards by pushing up with his arms to spin to face me. A massive kick hit me right in the chest and sent me crashing through bushes and branches. I felt my ribs crack and would have died if not for the blood magic reinforcing my body. Before I could even get up, Chisar was almost on top. of me, steam-rolling after me. I rolled backwards to nimbly get to my feet as his fists came down

like a hammer where I once lay. I decided to completely turn my back on my vicious enemy and tried to sprint further into the forest, getting some much-needed space between us. I could hear him following, swatting trees out of his way like they were nothing. Branches and debris crashed all around him as he desperately tried to catch me. But the trees were growing close. and thicker together as we ran. I was deftly weaving between them and getting some distance away from the brutes. After a while,

the tumultuous noise of Chisar's rampage stopped. I scrambled up the nearest tree and turned to survey my surroundings. No sight or sound of him. I took the opportunity to enact another spell to heighten my senses and another potion to make me lighter on my feet. I would lose half of my weight

but not compromise any of my strength. It was one of the few potions not destroyed when Chisar kicked me right in the chest, crushing my bandolier. My sharpened hearing picked out the voice of Chisar chanting, and it was getting louder. I couldn't make out what spelly was trying to perform them. Well, I got my answer when the large tree limb I was standing on became fluid and nimble like a snake.

The tip of the branch closest to me curled backwards towards me and looked around my arm as I instinctively raised it to protect myself. The branch jerked my hand away, leaving my neck open for another snaking tree limb to loop around. I chopped the limb with my free hand to release my captured hand. The branch round my neck pulled me off the footing I had as it tried to strangle me by hanging. I used all my strength to pull free of the branch's twisting grasp. I fell free from the tree, hitting every branch on the way down. My fall was slow due to all the branches reaching and pulling on me.

I landed on a larger branch ten feet from the ground and perched atop it to get my bearings. I looked up and slapped away any branches coming for me. Something hard whacked me on the back of my head. I turned to see a neighbouring tree reaching towards me, whipping its branches out to strike me. I was dazed, losing my footing as my tree swayed back and forth, trying to throw me off. So I jumped to another thickly branch tree that wasn't attacking me. As soon as I touched the new tree, it reacted. the same as the last and sent all of its branches to lash out. I jumped again and realized the

spell was broken as soon as I got a couple of yards away. I landed on the ground with a loud thud. I thought I'd be safe from activating the killer trees as long as I didn't touch them, but even the twigs and bushes grabbed at me. I ran, tearing through them like thick spider webs. I keep running, trying my heart is not to navigate through the thickly packed trees, but my large frame was harassed by them, with branches whipping and jabbing into my thick fur. For some reason the trees and bushes stopped trying to tangle me up, and I paused to look behind me. It seemed like the enchantment spell on the trees had ended. I kept a sharp eye out for chisar.

The trees were packed so close together it would have been impossible for him to steamroll towards me without me hearing him a mile away. I was slowly catching my breath, while picking twigs out of my fur. I scanned the woods around me by slowly turning in a 360. I grew angry with myself. What was I doing? Was I just running away? Just going to escape only to lick my wounds and sock. No.

I was here to execute justice and stop the two killers. I wondered why the onslaught had stopped. What were Chisar and Lelif's next move? The silence was killing me, but maybe this gave me time to activate my amulet. I lifted the amulet from around my neck to hold it at eyesight. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I was an outsider to the clan, and I'd cause myself a great dishonour by eating the heart. I was afraid of the further shame of being turned down by my ancestors.

If word of my plea for help was ignored, I'd lose all the credibility I'd worked decades to build. Copperback, you getting tired? came Learly's voice from behind me. I spun around to stare at the tree closest to me. It took me a second for my eyes to make out a face protruding from the tree. It was Layliff's face, the tree barked forming to look like her. We knew you'd be coming. He knew you'd run towards the screams of dying humans without a second thought.

The face in the tree said to me, I looked round to see her face on all the trees around me, all staring back at me. Magic like this must have taken a while to set up. I won't let you hurt my chis again, Tree Layliff screamed. He may be mad I didn't let him kill you, but you're too tricky of a copperback, too unpredictable, something you probably inherited from your dead clan's blood. The wooden face smiled.

My magic has been spread all throughout these woods. You were hexed the moment you left the cabin, and so now you die, Lord. The tree I was staring at began to smoke. Flickers of orange and red embers could be seen spreading from the smiling face outwards. Bits of sizzling bark fell off to reveal the glowing hot embers underneath. Layliff's burning face laughed at me as I took a few cautionary steps back. A ruin on my belt vibrated sharply, and that meant danger.

I sighed step behind a nearby tree for cover. A split second later the burning tree exploded violently. Burning wood embedded itself into my shoulder that wasn't protected by colour. I heard a thunderous rumble as the tree fell towards me to crash into the tree I was hiding behind. I jumped away from both trees as it cracked and both fell towards me. I quickly scrambled on all fours out of the impact zone of the falling trees. As I was still on all fours, I used the stability of another tree to stand myself up. This was a bad idea because it started glowing orange with smoke rising from the cracks between the bark.

I began my sprint as tree after tree in my proximity began to glow and explode. I pushed my body to run faster as the heat waves from the explosion scorched all over me. I felt the burning hot debris pouting my back and I knew my fur was on fire because I could smell it. I pushed and pushed through the exploding trees, but I was losing steam and the trees were getting close. and closer as they fell. Even in my rush, I noticed the trees always fell in my direction. Finally, I saw what might be my salvation, two large boulders, one leaning on the other, jutting about five feet out of the ground. I leapt out of the tree-line to perch upon the rocks with a balance unnatural to my sides. The explosion stopped, and I quickly patted out the small

fires all over my body. I was grateful for my own. my luck when the rock underfoot didn't start glowing. I felt I was safe for the time being. I deduced the explosion spell was triggered by being in close proximity to the trees. I was in a small clearing within the woods, in a three-yard radius around me, so at least I knew the reach of the spell now. I stared at the would-be bombs thickly packed around me. I was still at risk of one of them falling on me if they exploded. I knew I had to get out of these woods, I'd seen a decent-sized clearing about two miles east of here, but didn't know if I could sprint the whole way and not get caught up in an explosion. Think you're safe?

You think I can't see you? Bellow Lelilip's voice from the woodline surrounding me. And that's when my worst fear happens. All the trees began to glow around me. I felt like I'd activated another time-free spell because time slowed down as my mind raced to think of something. I quickly jumped down beside the rocks and couched facing them, making myself small. I hug myself tight and prayed for safety as the trees exploded with a monumental bang. The earth shook under me and the sound of falling timber rained down.

I've heard a stabbing jolt of pain as a branch slashed down my back. I screamed, but bored myself even tighter. When I opened my eyes, I was locked away in darkness. I was in a tomb of dead wood. Of course they all fell down towards me, but the boulders had propped them up enough to save me. So now I sat trapped and bleeding under a makeshift tepee of fallen trees. Barely any moonlight was visible through the limbs and branches, and I had just barely enough room to lift my head.

The position I was stuck in was hell on my broken ribs. I tried to uncurl myself only to feel the tree branch jab into my new wound. I grasped my amulet in both hands. My back throbbed with pain and the dust clogged my eyes and nose. I had to use the amulet. Chisar and Lelif would be coming to finish me off. I rubbed the amulet and placed it to my forehead. I beseech the help of my ancestors during these mortal trials.

I repeated over and over. At first I thought no one would answer. I wasn't a clan bloodmen. will the oldest, more traditional ancestors even recognise me as one of them. But the amulet began to vibrate, and I heard a low hum in my ears, like a million tuning forks all at once. Suddenly my confined space disappeared, and I was in a spacious area of foggy grey. The floor under me felt like water, but was solid enough to hold my weight. I looked around, trying to see anything but thick fog. I was in the grey, a purgful. A purg of the grey, a purgful.

plaitry plain between the living and the dead. But it seemed no one was here to answer my cry for help. Who is this black-ferred imposter that cries out to us? Came a deep voice in the old tongue. A blinding light had sailed me from a distance. It was so bright I couldn't look directly at it. I could only see shadow outlines of figures standing together through squinted eyes. I had my brain for the words to respond.

We'd all had to learn the old tongue during training. but that was decades ago. I am lork of the Bayoch clan, first of my name. My old clan is all but gone. I've written the clan's doctrine on my heart and have been granted membership. I seek help in defeating an ex-clan member

who has committed sacrilege to our tenants. Yes, our blood shouldn't have granted you membership through your action and character. Came another voice. But maybe it was in folly. You have within you the blood, blood of a slain human. You have partaken of the forbidden magics to serve your selfish desires, with no thought of the dishonor you bring on all of us. I did it for the chief.

Lastly, the stray asks us to help him kill a blood member. Another voice interrupted. Even if he is a fallen blood member, he still has more favor than you and your tainted magic. But this, I said nothing. I didn't even want to argue my case. I was, pissed. The old spirits were stuck in their ways in ancient prejudices. I should have let the dead stay dead. I calmly stood and tried to look into the blinding light. Then sent me back. I know of my own integrity. If I die and you don't accept me, I'll go into the void, knowing my honour is clean. I proclaimed as I turned my back on the light, showing them I was done with their self-righteous judgment.

Wait, lark was it? Came a voice in English. I thought it was strange because only in the last five hundred years had English been taught to us. I half turned to face the light. Yes, of the Bayoch clan, I said sharply.

I could see the outline of another shadow, closer than the rest. You protected the girl. You protected Isika, the voice asked. Yes, I saw. said confused, thinking of the girl I protected during her coma. She's alive and frithing. She is a life-maid in a girl-cubber-of-one now. The shadow began to approach me. As he got closer,

the dim of the light shone behind it. As he got to within three yards from me, the light had vanished, and I could make out the tall, gangly figure. It was a male Sasquatch with long brown fur. I was shaken by its blooded throat, dripping endlessly down its fur. He looked at me with grey blue eyes, rare to my kinds. Isaker had grey blue eyes. This was her father. Now I remembered him. I'd only seen him dead in his home, with his throat slashed and his hands chopped off.

You a peacekeeper Viscan, I stated. The solemn slasquatch nodded his head slightly in affirmation. It's Chisar, I told him. He and his maid have killed dozens of people. of humans and are going to keep the young for the breeding mills. Oh, chis, the dead Sasquatch said with sadness. He is a creature of habits. He can't stop himself from hurting everyone around him.

I stared at the dead peacekeeper, my kin and colleague. I'd heard he was honourable, but was he tough enough to help me win the fight? Well, I hated to seem like a snob since nobody else would help me, but Chisar had killed him once already. His demeanour was downcast, blood from his throat and his arms, ending in bloody stumps, made him look pathetic. But when he looked up at me, his eyes were filled with anger. He poisoned me, Viscan yelled. I realized I'd screwed up.

He could read my thoughts somehow. He knew he couldn't beat me in combat. He poisoned me and killed my family with his bare hands. The enraged Viscan yelled, spit all flying from his mouth. He could have poisoned them too, but he likes the violent thrill of it. He enjoyed beating my wife and son to death. He enjoyed putting my daughter into a coma. When he cut off my hands, it held a double meaning. Biskin said, as he held up his bloody stumps for me to see. It wasn't just to make it look like an assassination by the shrouded hand, but a personal insult towards me.

He cut off my hands because of the techniques I had mastered. techniques that had scared him always, and made him doubt if he could take me on one-on-one. Well, what was it? I asked cautiously. Perform the mantra to accept my help, and I'll show you, Clan Kin. Biscan demanded. He stepped up to me, only inches away. His sadness turned into a blazing anger.

Do you want to kill this bastard or not? Part four. I recited the entering mantra to leave. leave the grave, the realm between the living and the dead. Now I was coming back to your earth, with back-up from a Sasquatch previously murdered by Chisar. I opened my eyes to be greeted by pitch darkness and pain shooting through my ribs and backs. I was still trapped under the fallen trees. I didn't know what I'd expected after using the amulet, but I didn't feel any different at all. Maybe I expected to feel stronger or wiser, but I was still in pain and had

no idea what to do. A muscular hand shot down from above, busting through the wooden prison to grab me by the nape of the neck. I was yanked up through the hole violently. The branches scrapped and tore at me as I was lifted high into the moonlit sky, free from my wooden prison. Jassar helped me up with one hand high in the air. We were upon a canopy of fallen trees. Somehow all the branches have been flattened like corn stalks in a crop circle. There wasn't just the trees closest to me that had fallen, but trees in a 50-yard radius. All of them fallen and pointing inward towards me at the centre. The tree-limbs magically flattened by Chisar to find me.

There he is, Chisar screamed. You'd better be glad he isn't dead from your tricks. Chisar spat at Lelif, who was sulking behind him. I didn't want him to hurt you any more, love. Lelif argued meekly behind him. looking like a scolded child. She tried to come and hang from Chisar's arm, but he grabbed her roughly by the fur on the top of her head

and tossed her away. She stumbled and tripped on the unsteady footing. Her leg broke through the canopy of flattened branches and she fell partially through to catch painfully by her waist. She cried out in pain and sorrow from her mate's rebuke. You interfere again, bitch, and I will break your jaw. Chisar warns. The insanity in his eyes was great to,

than I'd ever seen. I fully believed Chisar would viciously beat lead if she did anything else. While dangling in the air like a child, I threw my hardest punch to Chishar's face. It had the same effect as punching a furry slab of iron. I've never eaten a fellow Sasquatch's heart before. Chisar sneered as he jabbed his finger into my chest, digging into my skin. I think I've developed a taste for the thing. I screamed and grabbed at his hand with both of mine, trying to pull his hand away from digging deeper into my skin. I began to panic and wonder why the Viscan wasn't helping. Nothing was helping.

A bright flash of an image appeared in my mind. It was the palm of a Sasquatch's hand, where the fur didn't grow. The hand on an ornate tattoo of a circular symbol, coloured in a vibrant teal. Place your blood in the middle. a voice in my head urged. The next mental image was of a bloody symbol being drawn on a tattoo palm

with a pointer finger of the off hand. Slap your palms together to activate the spell, Biscan's voice instructed. I'll perform the chant. You rip him apart. I did as commanded, dabbing my left hand near the wound where Chisar was digging his fingers into me.

I held up my right palm but didn't see the teal tattoo. I felt the mental. urging to proceed from Viscan so I drew the blood symbol anyways. Chisar's wicked smile faltered for a moment as he saw what I was doing. He had a look of surprise and concern. He recognized the spell. I slapped my palms together and had no idea what to expect.

Viscan's spirit chanted an unfamiliar chant in my head as the tips of my fingers began to glow yellow, red, then blue. An immense heat radiated from the last digits of my fingers both hands. I could feel the intense heed everywhere but my glowing fingertips. I looked Chisar square in the eye and growled a hateful growl that wasn't entirely my own. I grabbed his hand sticking into my chest with my left. My fingers burnt through his muscled forearms like a hot knife through butter. He screamed in pain. I made my right hand into a knife hand and intended to jab it into Chisar's eyes. He quickly flung me away from the grip he had on. He was

on the back of my neck. I struck out, but he reacted too quickly. He tossed me so fast my outstretched strike was just barely out of reach when I threw it. I flew high to land on a fallen log with the balance of a gymnast. My weight spell must have still been activated. I gritted my teeth that I prepared to launch back at him. "'Don't make a fist!' Fisk and spirit yelled. I realized I was about to make two of them out of muscle memory. I surely would have burnt my hands off if I had. How is this? Chisar asked. He stepped back and broke through the weaker branches to stumble slightly. Chisar must have finally figured out what was happening because a look of terror crossed his face. The amulet, Viscan, he croaked in a harsh voice. He was the only one who knew how to

weld the scolding touch. He still is. I amylet. I answered back coolly, as I laid my arms out wide, superheated fingers spayed. I ran at him again. He tried to backpedal, but his large frame kept causing him to break the branches underneath and trip up. I slashed at him with my fingertips. I carved glowing orange chunks out of him. He would swing his mighty attacks, only for me to leap away and flank around him and burn him again. After about two minutes of me jumping around and you,

using scolding touch, I courtrised his tendons in his arms and shoulders. Chisar was slumping, stuck waist-high in the brambles. He had deep raking burns all over his body. He breathed heavily, looking up at me in surrender. I stood on a fallen tree in front of him. I looked round to see no sign of Lely. Your mate has forsaken you. I said coldly to him.

You are on your own. It's two against one now. Please, Jassar panted. I surrender. Don't kill me. He was pathetic. The giant cocky killer had been reduced to a sad, burnt low life.

I felt a twinge of sadness for him. Maybe I would take him to stand trial before the council. You didn't show me mercy. My mouth spoke on its own. My wife, my son. even my daughter i screamed at him in viscans voice before i knew it i lunged forward to grab chisar by the sides of his head my fingers burning into him he screamed unable to lift his arms to defend himself as i plunged both glowing thumbs into his eyes bursting them on contact he screamed and screamed as

his head smoked and i drove my fingers up into his brain he went limp and I held him up, Bernie, the top of his skull beginning to glow. It's over, Viscan. He's dead. I yelled out loud. Only then did I release the boy to slump backwards, smoke coming out of his eye holes. Yes, it is done. Peacekeeper law. The vengeful spirit told me.

I thank you for giving me back my honour. You never lost it, Viscan, I replied to the ghost in my head. Do you still require you? my assistance? Viscan asked. No, I don't think so. Lelyf has probably already flared across the gap by now. It was an honour, lorke of Clan Bayonne. Too bad we didn't get to work together in my past life, the voice says, and without Viscan fell silence, never to speak again. My fingers stopped glowing, and I stood there looking at Chisar's dead body. I felt the pain and fatigue creep back up on me. now that the adrenaline was out of my system my body was punishing me i had some minor pain dampening

spell still him about though i had the time to perform them and then go check on the kids but this plan was discarded as soon as i heard the thrumming sound of two helicopters approaching i looked up to see two black choppers buzz over the clearing heading towards the house i pushed myself to begin running after them i didn't know who they were but i wasn't taking any chances There were humans on this side of the gap that helped in their interdimensional human trafficking. My body screamed at me as I pushed myself to run faster. When I got to the clearing around the cabin, I saw both the choppers hovering while dropping down zip lights. I was almost to the busted front doors when the first black-clad soldier hit the ground.

He turned in time to see me backhand him off his feet, and I darted inside. I skidded to the pantry and saw my runestone were still there. Good. It means they didn't run away and they're still inside. I could hear the clamour of soldiers calling out orders to each other, and before I knew it, my fingertips began to glow blue again. I didn't know how many armed men were out there, but I'd kill them all if they made me. I'd come too far to lose these kids now. I flashbang rolled in, and I turned my head to the side. I was thankful my sharpened senses spell had run out when a loud bang assaulted my eardrum.

When I opened my eyes, eight people had entered the cabin and were pointing automatic rifles at me. Freeze, asshole, don't make a move. The soldier screamed in a distorted voice. His face was covered by a gas, just like all the others in his squad. If you take one step toward these kids, I will rip your face off. I shouted back at them. It was only around five seconds, but it felt like an eternity as we stared at each other. It was a standoff that would only be.

and with more bloods. I was already planning the quickest way I would kill them. Hello, Lord. Do you think we can both do our jobs without killing each other? I said a gas mask-waring soldier to my rights. At first I didn't understand him, until I realized he was speaking in a language of the indigenous people, the ones that ruled here long ago. The soldier lowered his weapon and removed his mask to reveal a familiar face. It was Rising Eagle, a friend from this side of the gait. My finger stopped glowing and I dropped my hands. Rising Eagle gestured for his men to do the same.

That's new, he said, pointing at my hands. He walked forward and extended his hand for a handshake. Can you still shake an old friend's hand with that new trick? I smiled as the feeling of relief, I did me. Not all reality wardens were Sasquatches. The humans did their part too. Sorry we didn't get here sooner, Rising Eagle said as he shook my giant hands. hand some mares were trying to open a portal to the damn kingdoms am had pitched a fit for us to help

them i informed rising eagle about killing chisar and leila fleeing i told him the kids were hiding behind rising eagle informed me the kids would be given amnestics and taken care of one of the medics treated my injuries while i performed mine and a healing spells before i left to return to my world a report had to be made it was a terrible night with too many close calls and dead civilians, but at least the kids were safe and Chisar was dead. I knew the humans on this side could handle the rest. As I walked back into the woods to find my gateway, I wondered what ailment I would suffer from using the amulence.

But even if it took all my senses, it would still have been worth it. And so, that's the quick wrap-up of my case. But a word of warning humans, this is the reason I started writing this. stop looking for Bigfoot you might be lucky and find me but most likely you'll be killed or kidnapped

by others who are not so friendly if you find a VH tape titled Professor Eggheads Adventures Don't watch it Teddy's VHS collection never really came up in conversation Sure occasionally I'd say something about the oblique pop culture

reference t-shirt he wore and I recall having a discussion or two about his obsession with 90 sitcoms but Well, most of our time together was spent talking about the strangeness of the locals. I originally moved to Prague to squeeze out as much fun from my twenties as I could in a cost-effective manner. Beer was cheaper than water. Rent was infinitely more affordable than Samfranon, and something to be said about dating in the pawn capital of the world. Teddy's reasons for moving to Prague on the other hand were a bit more cryptic.

Whenever I'd ask him about his departure from the States, he'd wax poetic about the dark Gothic. streets, about the strangeness of the city, about how he could feel Kafka's perpetually confused spirit drifting through the subways, but it wasn't until one rum-soaked evening that he gave me something concrete. You can also find some pretty niche VHS tapes here, he said, and I like collecting VHS tapes. Maybe he wanted me to press the subject further. Maybe he wanted to show me his collection, but, to be honest, I didn't care. I like the dude.

He was weird, but I liked him. Frail and covered in adult acne, Teddy was funny-looking and meek, but the guy had a heart of gold. Whenever I found myself lost in the absurd bureaucracy of the city, or was looking for an explanation to the strange customs of the Pras, Teddy was more than happy to help. He'd moved to the city just a year before me, yet somehow he'd managed to get a grasp on the strange consonant-filled lingo of the locals, and knew of just about every expat-friendly gem hidden around the town.

dark alleys. We're on friendly enough terms to be conflict-free roommates and occasionally grab a drink together. I like the dude. I just didn't want to enter, check out my weird hobby territory. It wasn't until he went missing that I saw his collection. Now a regular VHS tape fits about four episodes of a 20-minute show. Judging by the sparse amount of space available in Teddy's room, he had enough tapes to stay occupied for weeks. Whilst Teddy was privy to all the drama of my personal life, I didn't know much about his. I never met any of Teddy's friends, but I presume he had some. For the first two weeks of his absence, I assumed that Teddy had just gone on some spontaneous hiking trip with some friend I'd never heard about. One worried phone call from his

father dispersed those illusions. Teddy was missing, and Teddy only had to be. He was missing, and Teddy only had one friend in pride, me. His father flew in from Maryland and for six months he stayed in his son's cramped room. He was miserable rooming with a grieving father, but the guy continued covering Teddy's share of the rent and I didn't want to be soulless. Six months he searched the city for some sort of evidence that his son was alive, but Teddy's disappearance was total. I had no leads. The police had no leads and after half a year of searching, Teddy's father ran out hope. Long after it became clear that his son wasn't coming back, Teddy's father flew back home to hold a memorial service. He invited me to come and speak at the service. He even offered to cover

my airfare to Baltimore, but I declined. I didn't know Teddy well enough to speak to his grieving family and travelling across the Atlantic is about as pleasant as a sleep deprivation experiment. Instead, as his family gathered to mourn, I made my way to Teddy's VCR. I was going to put on a random friends episode. Teddy seemed to have really enjoyed that show, but when I tried to pop in the cassette, there was resistance from the machine. The slot was already filled with a different tape. Adventures of Professor Egghead, Season 1, Episdoll's 1 to 4. To pay my respects, I figured I'd do my best and try to indulge in Teddy's weird hobby. I pushed the tape back into the machine and press play. A coffee shop flickered to life on the screen.

At first glance there didn't seem to be anything wrong with it. A group of teens gathered with laptops in what looked to be a study room. Out by the window, two friends had an animated conversation. A small line of people dressed in grey office garbs stood in line waiting for their coffee. The longer I watched the coffee shop scene play out. The more I noticed something was off. The teens relentlessly typed away at their computers, but the screens of their laptops were off.

The conversation by the window was filled with excited hand gestures and bouts of laughter, yet the two friends made no sound when they moved their lips. The line of office workers stood patiently in line, but no orders were ever filled. The whole coffee shop seemed stuck in the same 30-second loop that repeated over and over. It was as if everyone was waiting for something. Sitting behind the thick screen of Teddy's television, I waited as well. It was faint at first. I even paused the tape to see whether the sound wasn't coming from my neighbour's apartment.

But soon enough it became clear the noise was originating from the television. Somewhere off-screen a live studio audience was clapping and cheering, anticipating the arrival of a beloved character. Then the door opened, and he entered. The studio audience hollered with joy as he appeared on screen, but my stomach went flush with discomfort. This man, this creature, this thing that stood at the entrance of the coffee shop, defied all reason. A face of a human, a desperately tired human, drooped from his egg-shaped body.

Over his stubby limbs he wore a dirty lab coat, and the sparse nest of hair on his pointed scalp looked like it hadn't been washed in years. But it was his eyes that stoked true discomfort in my call. Blood shot in line with the yellow grime, they stared straight into the camera. I am Professor Egghead. The abomination screamed in a queer accent, drenched in anger. I have come here to awaken myself for another day of science. The studio audience's joyous clapping turned to wild laughter,

yet no one in the coffee shop found the creature's outburst funny. They all seemed scared. With rage-filled stomp, the egg-shaped being lumbered his way past the frightened business folk to the front of the line. "'I demand boiled water,' he screamed. "'I demand boiled water that has been strained through crushed beans of the coffee plant. "'If I am to get any science done on this day, "'I must have caffeine coursing through my powerful veins.' "'Everyone in the coffee shop seemed wholly uncomfortable with the existence of the Eggman.

"'His presence radiated a fury throughout the entire establishment, "'but it was the young barista he was facing who received most of his eye. She looked to be on the edge of a panic attack. I'm sorry, sir, she mumbled, biting her lip in discomfort. I don't understand you. No one understands the egghead, he screamed, raising the knobs of his arms to the sky. No one will ever understand the egghead. This drove the studio audience wild.

A deafening bout of canned laughter boom from the television. With a deep-seated confusion in my heart, I cut it off with a remote and went on the balcony for a cigarette. For a while I tried to make sense of why Teddy would watch something so unhinged, but those thoughts didn't stick around for long. Teddy was a weird guy who was into weird things. Trying to understand his tastes was just as futile as a six-month search effort. A part of me wanted to believe that he was still hiding somewhere in the smoggy city that stretched out beyond the balcony, but I knew the truth.

Teddy was gone, and somewhere out in Baltimore, his family was gathered around a corpuseless funeral saying goodbye. His father cried a lot, just about every night for the first couple of months. I wasn't until I put on the headphones to drown out a grown man sobs that I realized how thin the walls the apartment were. He even muffled through blaring music. Those 2am hours were scratched into my memory. standing on my balcony alone hearing faint echoes of the man's whales i realized i needed a drink as i rushed out of the house in search of company however the television screen in teddy's room caught my eye the screaming egg creature was still staring at the camera stuck in an angry shout if teddy was around and he sat me down to watch that madness i probably would have lasted longer

A twinge of guilt sparked in my chest for never humouring Teddy's obsession. As soon as I resumed the tape, the cafe was replaced with a barbershop. Much like the previous scene, there was an air of artificiality surrounding everything on the screen. A heavy middle-aged woman hovered over the single customer that the barbershop had, with scissors in her hands, yet she never made a single cut. Another employee was using a broom to clean up the remains of a previous haircut. but he never actually disposed of the hair. He just pushed it around the floor in a circle.

Even the bright-colored fish in the barbershop aquarium seemed to be swimming around in a steady formation. The barbershop was stuck in a familiar 30-second loop, waiting for something to happen. After a minute or two, the cheering of the studio audience started to reverberate through the quiet room. I am Professor Egghead. The mad creature raved.

as he burst through the door. I demand that the dead cells be removed from my scout with sharp knives so I can be born anew. His words were much angrier than before. The egg-shaped monstrosity was foaming at his mouth with rage, but his eyes still seemed comatose. I am Professor Eckhead, and I demand your attention, he yelled, impotently waving his short eyes.

The studio audience found his frustration hilarious. Everyone in the barbershop was doing their best to look away, but the malform scientist would not be ignored. He wobbled up to the occupied chair and started to nudge it, making the hairdresser's job impossible. Please, sir, could you just wait for your turn? She finally said, doing her best to look away from his horrible suffering eyes. No, Professor Egghead screamed. I demand attention now. I demand my scalp be cleansed of filth so that I can hoax.

wholeheartedly commit my egg-shaped body to science. With one swift motion, the nightmarish creature grabbed the man in the chair and threw him to the ground. There was a stunning force in those stocky little limbs of his. With a spine chilling crack, the innocent customer slammed skull-first into the floor. He lay there, unmoving. The studio audience saw the random act of violence as the pinnacle of comedy. There are no more customers for you to serve. Professor. the egghead screeched as a faint trickle of blood crawled across the white floor. It is now time for you to serve the egghead. It is now time for you to cleanse my scalp.

With clumsy effort the creature climbed up on top of the chair. The hairdresser was extremely distressed, but the audience found the egg man's climb to be deserving of raucous applause. Bring out the knives and alter my appearance, he screamed, kicking his stubby legs in frustration. I am a busy man and there is science to be done. Do what I demand. For a moment it looked like the hairdresser was going to say something.

Like she was going to decline the malformed maniac service. But she reconsidered. With shaking hands she grabbed a hold of the greasy tufts of hair on his oval scalp and started to cut. I am Professor Egghead, the creature screamed, looking straight into the camera. I always get what I desire. all shall be given to me in the name of sight. It was as if he could see me, as if his tired eyes were reaching past the television screen

and trying to bring me into his demented world. A glimpse into Teddy's confounding media diet was enough for me. I still didn't understand why the guy would watch the tape, but I was certain I wanted to turn it off. I reached for the remote with my sweaty hands. Before I could turn off the television, the scene changed again. For a moment I was sure my eyes were playing tricks on me, that I was having some sort of

psychotic break with reality. But the longer I looked at the screen, the more certain I was of what I was seeing. I desperately scrawled through my phone searching for Teddy's father's number, but I kept my eyes glued to the screen. A colourful fast-food restaurant flickered to life on the television. The line to the counter stood still. The customers held their burgers in anticipation, but never ate. and somewhere off in the distance the studio audience started to clap.

Two rings. Teddy's father picked up right away. I found your son, I said. Red uniform was an unusual choice of clothing, and the beginnings of a patchy beard were starting to grow on his face. But I recognised Teddy right away. He was standing behind the counter, nervous, as if he knew what was awaiting him.

Yeah. You found my son, said the voice on the phone, shaking with breathlessness. Where? Where's my boy? I tried to explain what was happening, but I kept tripping over my words.

The tape, the Eggman, the insane eyes. I didn't know where to start. Before I could gather my thoughts into something coherent, the television exploded in another wave of celebration. I am Professor Egghead, the fever-dream boom from the screener.

I demand the grill carcass of an animal between two pieces of processed weeds. I must receive nourishment before I indulge in the science. Sorry, sir, Teddy whimpered, unsure of how to speak to the monstrosity which waddled towards him. There are other customers. If you just wait your place in line... There are no other customers than me. her eggheads. The creature shrieked as he shoved the innocent bystanders to the floor.

I demand flesh and bread. I demand fuel for my body so that I can commit my mind to science. One by one they crashed headfirst into the floor to the crackling joy of the studio audience. Soon enough, the egg-shaped abomination was face to face with Teddy. You found my boy! cried the voice from the phone. Please, please tell me my boy. safe. I will destroy all that is in my path in the name of science, the walking nightmare heart, bring me a feast worthy of a philosopher king. With each uncomfortable twitch of Teddy's face, the audience on screen exploded into another fit of hysterical laughter. I tried to turn

down the sound of the television so that I could hear the grieving man on the phone, but it was to no avail. With every press of the remote, the Eggman shouted louder. With every decreased decibel, the studio audience became wilder. Leaving a desperate teddy flickering on the screen, I escaped at the balcony. Please, please do not joke about this, he whimpered into the phone. My heart cannot handle cruelty right now. I took a deep breath, lit up a cigarette and explained myself. I told him about the tape.

about Professor Egghead, about Teddy. All I got in response was silence. I tried to imagine how I would respond if I was on the other side of the phone, how I'd make sense of it all, but I couldn't. I waited for the man's response with echoes of canned applause playing in the back of my mind. This is not a joke, Teddy's father finally asked. No, I said. It all sounds crazy, but a wave of dizz.

busyness washed through me. My cigarette plummeted down to the streets below. Suddenly the overcast city in front of me was impossibly bright, as if someone had turned on a thousand fluorescent bulbs across the sky. The applause, the canned applause that I thought was a simple memory in the back of my skull had grown to a tangible volume. My legs felt weak. Fearing the balcony railing, I stumbled back into my apartment. I am Professor Eggheads. Boom, the television. I have arrived to exchange monetary tokens for goods.

I must stock my domicile quickly so that I can commit the rest of my time on this planet to science. The audience clapped and laughed, but suddenly they went silent. The only thing that I could hear was a gentle, repetitive, beep. The beep of a supermarket checkout out. What is this? he screamed.

In the name of science, what is this? Past the buzzing lights in front of my eyes I could see a spot of dark. I blindly crawled towards it, desperately hoping to regain my science. Where is he? Professor Egghead demanded it. How am I meant to make a purchase when the sales clerk is missing? As I felt my way towards the one part of my universe that wasn't drenched in eye, burning light, a tower of cassettes collapsed against my back. I was back in Teddy's room, and I was looking up at the screen.

The television was calming to my eyes, but it stirred fear in my heart. I was looking at the fluorescent-lit checkout line of a supermarket. A trade of blood and bodies led up to an unattended register. A defiant Professor Egghead gripped his shopping cart and stared into the camera with dead eyes. I have taken temporary leave from the world of science to purchase goods, and this is how I am rewarded. Where is the shop assistant? I demand the shop assistant, he screamed. The studio audience was in complete silence. All that could be heard was the gentle beep of the far-off checkout machine and the professor's labored breathing. Where is he? I demand answers. Where is he?

Spit was flying from his mouth onto the camera. In a show of rage, he started jabbing his shopping cart in the direction of the audience. I am wild-renowned scientist, Professor Egghead. I do not have time for this. He wheeled his car back and forth, firming at the mouth as if he were a rabid dog. But something behind the camera caught his exhausted eye. Oh, he says, his voice losing all its fury. There you are.

His sudden change of tone made me flinch away from the. screen, but his dull eyes full of me. Professor Egg had conceived, he said, his eyes still dead tired, but his mouth forming into a thin lip smile. Come back to where you belong.

Let me pay for my goods so I can return to my work in the field of science. The clapping resumed again. It was quiet at first, but as the abhorrent grin on the television grew, the applause became louder and louder. Whatever was happening,

the audience loved it. Come on back to Professor Egghead, he said, flashing a smile of thin, yellow teeth. I demand attention. The light around me reverberated with growing strength. The clapping and cheering and whistling was so loud it felt as if my eyes were about to pop out of my skull. I demand attention, the Eggman screamed,

the rage returning to his voice. I demand it, I demand it, I demand. The screen went dark, and so did the blinding lights. I was back in Teddy's room, alone and drenched in sweat. For a moment I just lay on the floor, staring up at the cracks in the ceiling, trying to find a loose thread of sanity in an insane world. Before I could even begin to process the madness, I'd witnessed my phone starting to ring.

It was Teddy's father. He begged me to turn the tape back on to rewind, and find the image of his lost son to bring some semblance of hope back into his life but I couldn't I refused to be in the same room as that tape let alone watch it again whatever was on that cassette was cruel and dangerous I didn't want to end up like Teddy I offered money he he wept he got angry but nothing that he could do or say would make me go back to that hellscape I offered to mail the tape to him but the idea of entrusting the footage to the post of service drove the man furious.

After two hours on the phone, Teddy's father informed me that he'd be flying to Prague and retrieving the VHS tape himself. I didn't argue with the man. The thought of not being alone with the confounding reality of Professor Egghead, even, ease my mind somewhat. With a last-minute flight, Teddy's father would be back in Prague in less than two days. I figured I could hold on that long, and for a moment I was calm. But that moment didn't last long.

As I went to sleep that night, I couldn't escape the vision of those dull eyes and that angry mouth. Even as I write this, with the morning sun quietly peeking into my room, the visage of the egg-shaped man still haunts me. Yet it's not the mere idea of Professor Egghead that's stealing sleep from me right now. No, there's something much worse that's keeping me away.

throughout the night as i found myself leaving behind my worries and nodding off to sleep i started to hear things i hear beeps whenever i'm about to fall asleep i hear the gentle beeps of a checkout machine and beneath those beeps i hear steadily growing applause i fear that if i fall asleep even for a second i'll be transported into the same demented reality where the egg-shaped man makes his demands i fear that fear that I'll disappear just like Teddy. I don't know how long I can stay awake. I don't know how to make this stop. All I know is that I don't want to go back there.

I don't want to witness another one of Professor Egghead's Adventures. If you ever watch a VHS tape titled Professor Egghead's Adventures, do not go to sleep. She knocks just as I finish my sixth coffee of the morning. I hug her tighter than anyone I've ever hugged in my life. For a moment with her body pressed against mine, I feel sane, I almost convinced myself that everything that has happened over the past 24 hours was just one long fever dream. In as she kisses me and I close my eyes, an overwhelming tiredness washes through my skull, and beneath that wave of exhaustion I hear something. I hear a distinct, beep.

You taste like an ashtray, she says, with the world's slightest grin, and you look like shit. "'I haven't slept since Friday morning,' I tell her. "'Why?' she asks. "'I search for words. "'I search for some sort of an explanation, "'but the facts of my situation struggled to stick together "'in my sleep-deprived brain. "'Want a coffee?' I ask.

"'Sure,' she says, and then lies down on my couch. "'She walks past me. "'The smell of her conditioner reminds me of that first night. "'I remember how she teased me for being an American, and how she burst my balls about being another foreigner teaching English in Prague. How her hair smelled as she fell asleep in my arms. I remember how soft her bed was. A brewer, a small cup of coffee.

As the machine grinds away at the beans, I can't help but to watch her tap away at her phone. There's nothing more than I want to do than lie down next to her and rest my head on her breasts. The land of sleep beckons me from her bosom. But I resist. I know I have to resist. I make myself four espressoes in a single mark. I want to sit down next to her, she throws her long legs on my lap

and starts cheerily chirping away about something. Well, her accent never gave me any trouble over the past couple of months, but the tension behind my eyeballs makes it impossible to understand a word she's saying. Hey, she nudges me with her foot. You okay there, big guy? I tried to reply,

but it feels like a lethargic worm has replaced my tongue. I took a long, scalding gulp of my coffee. My tongue still feels foreign, but the burning pain that travels down my throat gives me some semblance of control over my words. Remember Teddy? I ask her. Yeah, she says. You're missing skeleton boy roommate, right? I almost tell her not to call him that, but I don't. Petra's tendency for cruelty is the last thing on my mind right now. Yeah, I say.

Well, his parents held a memorial service back in Baltimore yesterday. No one's searching for him anymore. Oh, she says, her fiery eyes growing dim with empathy. Sorry, I didn't mean to call him Skeleton Boy. How are you doing? The door to Teddy's room is still open. Pass the VHS tapes on the floor I see his bulky television. I...

I... found him, I say. What? She asks, sitting. up. His dad invited me to speak at the service. He even offered to pay for the airfare, but I don't know, it just didn't feel right. I barely knew

Teddy. I mean, we lived together, and the kid was chill, but the only thing I really knew about him was the neglected VHS tapes. Didn't feel right to speak in front of his grieving family. But, I figured that, I don't know, if the guy's gone, if the guy's dead,

I should at least pay a little bit of respect to his memory. Never asked about the collection because I didn't care, but I figured he'd like it if I made an effort. So I watched one of his tapes. That's sweet, she says, leaning over and wrapping her arms around me. That's really sweet. Those grime-filled eyes, that filthy hair, the screaming. Sweet is the last descriptor that I would use for what I found inside of Teddy's VCR.

Petra's hug eases those images out of my mind. But her embrace is far too comforting, it's far too soft. I feel my eyes closing. I hear that infernal beep echo through the core of my being. I shrug her off. I wanted to watch like a random friend's episode or something. I tell her. But when I turned on the TV, it was already a tape inside of it.

Professor Egghead's adventures. Never heard of it, she says. Petro leans back on the couch and gives up on the embrace. yet she continues to caress me with her foot on any other day I'd welcome her advances but I know I have to save my energy I know I have to stay awake if I'm to stay away from him it's not a show I say the tape that I found inside a Teddy's VCR is not a sitcom like the rest of his collection it's a search for words the only thing that comes to mind is the word abomination but I doubt she not knows that word. I doubt she'd understand. It's some really bad, I finally say. I watched the tape and there's this man or creature, a monster. I don't know what to call him. He's a man

shaped like an egg with horrible, horrible eyes. Professor Egghead, he calls himself Professor Egghead and he just screams. He screams about science, screams about demanding attention. He screams and he hurts people. That's why you haven't slept for a day, because you're scared of this Professor Egghead that you saw on the television? With every word that leaves her lips, I can feel her pulling away from me.

She came here because she thought I was having a bad day and needed company, but now she thinks I'm fundamentally broken. I don't blame her. The visage of Professor Egghead has shattered my life. He's not just on the television, I say, trying to explain my terror.

I mean, yeah, he's on the television, but he exists somewhere else. Professor Egghead exists somewhere beyond the scope of... Look, I found Teddy. Professor Egghead trapped Teddy in the television, and now Professor Egghead is trying to trap me. Petra raises one perfect eyebrow in confusion. I swear I'm not lying.

On the tape Professor Egghead went to a fast food restaurant, and Teddy was behind the register. I swear to God it was him. That's why no one could find Teddy when he went missing. It's because he somehow got trapped inside of the television. Somehow Professor Eck had got to him and now he's after me. There's his scene. At the end of the tape, there's a scene where Professor Egg had goes shopping and there's no one behind the cash register.

He wants me there. He looked at me from the screen and demanded that I get behind the cash register and serve him. If he wants to trap me inside of the television, just like he trapped Teddy. Well, I hope that telling her would look. lessen the burden on my tired shoulders, but it doesn't. Petra stares at me like I'd just escape from a mental institution. For a moment, I feel like she'll just get up and leave, like she'll abandon me with the horrible reality I'd been entrusting to. But then she smiles. Any drugs in the house? I swear to God, I'm not on drugs. It's all real. Please, Petra, I need you to believe me.

"'You Americans with your swears to guards,' she says. "'That's not what I'm asking. "'I'm asking if there's any drugs in your house. "'There's some weed on my desk, I think.' "'Good boy,' she says, as she gets up and strolls over to my room. "'I watch her as she leaves, hoping that some primal part of my brain will find distraction in her figure. "'But I don't. "'The only body I can think of is the misshapen mass of Professor Egghead.

"'Come here!' Petra yells from the bedroom. By the time I drag myself over, the pipe is already back on my bedstand, and a thin wisps of smoke hang around Petra's head. It's brought out on my soft bed, the morning light caresses her legs. She nudges the side of the mattress with her foot, calling me to sit. My drained body obliges. So there's a man made of eggs in the television who kidnapped your old roommate,

and now he's going to kidnap you, she says. Do I understand, Chris? No, he's not actually made of eggs. He's like one big egg with a human face and a lab coat. I tried to explain, but her face leaves little room for nuance. Yeah, I say. That's pretty much it. And you can't go to sleep?

Why? The word sleep sounds like an invitation from her lips. It echoes through my head. Sleep, sleep, sleep is all I need. My eyes feel heavy, and for a moment they call. close, but then, beep. If I go to sleep, he'll get me. When he's in the supermarket, when I watch the television, I can't explain it, Petra.

It's like he reached out for me. It's like I was there. I could feel him looking at me. I could see the fluorescent lighting of the supermarket. I could hear the beeping of the checkout machines. I turned off the television and got away, but now, whenever I go to sleep, I can feel him reaching out. When I close my eyes, I can hear the beeping of the checkout machines.

Her face wavers between laughter and concern. But finally she just shakes her head and smiles. So, what? What, are you just never going to sleep again? The thought had crossed my mind before. Thought of it all eventually ending of me falling asleep. I don't allow myself to go down that hopeless rabbit hole again. Oh, I called Teddy's father as soon as I saw his son on that.

television. He's flying over to check out the tape. I hope that if he watches it, that somehow this will all end. I hope that this can all end. Petra stares at me in disbelief. You called your missing roommate's father on the day of his son's memorial. Are you sick? Petra, I swear to... I swear this is all real. I know it sounds crazy. I know I sound crazy, but please, I need you to believe me. wordlessly she reaches for the pipe again you're lucky you're cute she says when's teddy's father coming tomorrow evening those words burn on my tongue i know i can't last that long but you also know it's my only hope i just want you to stay with me until tomorrow evening and then then maybe this will all end you are lucky you're cute she repeats less enthused than before her delicate fingers brush against my arm

on any other occasion I would welcome them but as she caresses me I shudder and pull away even though her fingers are long and sleek they still remind me of Professor Egghead's stubby limbs so how are you going to stay away coffee coffee and energy drinks I say the sink in the bathroom is also filled up with ice water in case of emergency

well how about some physical exercise she asks, pulling me closer. Petra, we shouldn't, I reply. Oh, come on. You may come all the way across the city just so you can tell me some man made of eggs is going to capture you if you fall asleep. What am I getting out of this?

Do you not believe me? What do you think? I can show you the tape. It's still in Teddy's VCR. If you just... I don't want to see the tape. I came here to see you. If you want me to stay here and tell you,

till Teddy's father arrives, I can. Maybe I'll even tell you a nice bedtime story when everything is over. Just let me wake you up a bit. His grubby little hands. That's all I can think about as she touches me. Her piercing eyes are filled with sex, but they're irrelevant.

I know that somewhere out there, attached to a pale and misshapen body, there are two bloodshot eyeballs covered in grimy crust, watching me, waiting for me to slip. Yet I know that I cannot face the egg-shaped abomination alone. I know I need her. Promise you'll stay, I ask.

Scouts on her, Petra replies as she pours me towards her. She kisses me and I lack the strength to resist. We're in bed alone, but the act might as well be a threesome. Under my hands her skin feels like rough eggshell. Beneath each moan she lets out, I fear his frantic shouts about science. There are moments when I forget Petra is even in the room. All I know is that his sleepless eyes are watching me. Beep.

I try to resist it, but I can't. Beep. A blinding light to fluorescent light bulbs drowns out her naked body. Beep! I hear the sounds of checkout machines. Beep! There's a meek-looking balding man standing by my register. His shopping cart contains a fancy looking bottle of red wine, a box of Swiss chocolates,

a 12 pack of Jurex extra safe condoms, and a child-sized package of Haribo gummy bears. He refuses to look me in the eyes. No, no, I whisper, desperately hoping to be elsewhere. Wake up, wake up, God damn it. Behind me a sad-looking woman scans a can of beans. Beep! She wears the same dark blue supermarket uniform as me. Beep

She doesn't scan any new items She just keeps on scanning the same can over and over Beep A sad elderly man on the other side of the checkout counter Doesn't seem to mind He knows there isn't much time left Beep Somewhere from beyond the dog fruit owls

I hear the faint beginning of applause He's coming Professor Egghead is coming. Escape. My mind immediately turns to thoughts of escape of getting away from the walking fever dream that's on an unavoidable path

towards my checkout register. Yet as I look past my workstation to where an exit from the supermarket would conceivably be, all I see is the faint dim of television static. The world I stand in is not my own. The world I stand in is his, and he draws the boundaries.

The applause grow in volume. The invisible audience is excited to see their favourite character. How do I get out of here? I ask the boarding man. He doesn't acknowledge me. Instead, he stares into the television static beyond, waiting for the inevitable. With shaking hands, I grab his shirt.

Please, there has to be a way out. His eyes stay glued to the confounding universe of madness in front of him. But his lips part slightly. Don't fight it, he whispers. He makes it worse if you fight it. Someone has to know, I yell at the possession of carts behind the man. The applause grows wild. A shopping cart squeaks towards the back of the line.

The moment of reckoning is at hand. Please, someone help me get away from him. I am Professor Egghead. He screams from behind the line of terrified shoppers. I have arrived to exchange monetary tokens for goods. I must stock my domicile quickly so I can commit the rest of my time on this planet to science. I don't see his misshapen body past the other shoppers, but I can see his cart. It's filled up with dog food and toilet paper.

I have arrived to trade goods. I have taken a break from my work in the field of science to prolong my survival in this modern society. He raves, ramming his cart into the middle-aged couple in front of the world. front of him. But I have no time for waiting. I must make my purchase now so I can work on my inventions. The studio audience explodes into laughter as a man is visibly injured by Professor Eggheads over Phil Cart. Yet as the monstrosity advances in the queue, the laughter stops. The shoppers are no longer staring into the wall of static. They're looking at me. I'm meant to say something. Please, I plead with him. Help me. I don't belong here. Please. I have come here

expecting speedy service. I have come here expecting the respect and adoration that Professor Egghead deserves, but instead I am stuck behind the masses. Instead, I am treated like a rabid dog awaiting his execution. Professors' insane ramblings get a couple of chuckles out of the studio your audience, where the silence soon returns. Everyone is staring at me. Tell him he has to wait his turn. The balding man mumbles with fear in his voice. Tell him he has to wait his turn, then this will all end much quicker.

Terrified and with no other direction in life, I follow the boarding man's instructions. You have to wait your turn, Professor Egghead, I say. What? The cruel voice Rages from the back of the line I will do no such thing I am a man of science Not a man of waiting

The audience explodes Into another burst of applause As the abhorrent creature waddles out From behind his shopping cart His deformed egg-shaped body Is barely covered by his greasy lab coat Filthy strands of jet black hair Judd out of his pointed scout

By the claws of a demon He is a nightmare personified His spine, chilling speed, his stout hands grabbed the dress of the woman in front of him. In one swift motion, he sends her clattering to the ground. And how crack escapes from her body as it meets the floor. The studio audience applauds and laughs and cheers at the violence. Enigized by the invisible spectators, Professor Egghead moves to the next shopper and drives them to the ground as well. In a series of brutal assaults, Professor Egghead attacks each and every person.

in his way. None of them get back up. But just follow the script, the boarding man says. Follow the script and don't make him angry. If he gets angry, he'll... The man's sentence is finished by a crack as his skull meets the floor. Red and tired and diseased, Professor Egghead's drooping eyes stare into my soul. For a moment he just looks at me,

his sharp-toothed mouth smiling at the discomfort he's brewing in my soul but then with a burst of pep in his step he travels to the back of the line as he moves past the unmoving bodies of the innocent shoppers he overturns their carts to clear the way for his own groceries the corpses don't bother him as he moves back towards me he lets his shopping cart crush everything beneath his path trail of mangled bodies and blood lies in his wake spit festers in the corners of his angry mouth. With my powerful brain, I've already calculated the monetary worth of my purchase, Professor Egghead screams, there is no need for you to waste my time with your maddening barcote.

He reaches into the pocket of his lab coat and produces three lumpy pieces of stone. Not being able to reach my register, the egg-shaped man is forced into laboured hops. After three unsuccessful attempts to put the stones on the counter, he finally succeeds. The invisible audience finds this deserving of thunderous applause. These are the precious minerals that I have collected from beneath the ground. I trust that you will find them of equal value to the goods that I have purchased. He yells up at me. I keep my eyes locked on the dark stone,

hoping that Professor Egghead will leave, hoping that I'll wake up back in my room next to Petra. But he doesn't leave. He keeps on staring at me, waiting. Tell him you only accept cash-head. your credit. A human voice pleads from behind the counter. The boardingman's head is trapped

beneath one of the wheels of the overfilled cart. Blood drips from his mouth. Yet his pained eyes still managed to meet mine. Please, just tell him what he wants to hear. No, I yell. No, this is all wrong.

I don't belong here. The tape wasn't mine. I wasn't meant to watch it. I want to go back. A moment of silence, into a tense eternity, but eventually someone in the invisible audience boos. They're joined with a legion of hissies and jeers, as if the anger of the crowd was a source of some unspeakable power. Professor Egghead jumps.

In one instantaneous show of agility, the grotesque scientist leaps on top of the checkout counter. I am Professor Egghead, master of the mind dominator of the sciences. He bellows. you will submit. With the strength of a sucker punch, the professor rockets himself into my abdomen. In an instant I'm not to the ground,

struggling to breathe. I try to bat the heavy egg creature away, but his plump fingers seize my arm. I am Professor Egghead, he screams, as his powerful hands start to crush my arm, and I demand your obedience. The pain's unbearable. The pain is incomprehensible.

The pain causes all my pleas for freedom to turn into throat, burning screams. I feel my bones starting to shatter beneath his grasp. I demand it. I demand it. I demand. A thud and a crack. A blunt force sends a bolt of pain through my face. Blood starts to pour out of my nose.

I try to lift myself up, but my right arm refuses to me. I bleed on the floor I bleed on the floor of my bedroom Badry Petra asks Leading over the side of my bed Reality comes crashing down on me

Harder than the heavy egg that just attack me I'm beyond happy that I've escaped the fat finger clutches of the professor I'm overjoyed to be safe and alive in a world That I can make sense of But that joy is overtaken by anger My eyes burn with sleep deprivation and rage As I look up at the naked woman leaning over my bed

You let me fall asleep You passed out Before you threw yourself off the bed You look pretty peaceful I thought that maybe you just needed some rest You were acting crazy Bitch Excuse me

You let me fall asleep I told you about him I told you that you'd get me if I fell asleep You were meant to help me stay awake What did you call me? Look what he did to me. Part of my arm that Professor Egghead gripped burns with pain

but the skin is only slightly reddened. I clabber up to my feet to get closer to her to show her what the Eggman had done to me to show what she could have stopped. But I don't get that far. Beep! As soon as I'm standing a new wave of exhaustion washes through me with dizzying force.

Beep. Blood drips from my nose. With each drop I feel weaker. Beep! I summon all of my strength and dashed to the bathroom. Beep! The ice bath in my sink shocks me awake. I stare at the clogged up drain.

The frigid water feels like chlorine against my eyes. Everything hurts and everything is chaos. I know I can't resist the pull of sleep for a rain. ever. I know I'm doomed. Yet as my bleeding nose turns the white of the porcelain pink, a memory emerges, a memory that provides a solution. For a split second, I'm not in some dingy bathroom in Prague. I'm back at the bay. It's 2012, and I'm sitting at home watching AMC with my dad. The television gives us an interesting bit of information about the Czech Republic. I'm leaving.

I barely hear her past the water. What? I thought you were going to stay. Petra, I need your help. I'm leaving, she says, standing in the hallway. She already has her underwear on. A t-shirt dangles from her hand, and cold anger lingers in her eyes. Is it because I called you a bitch?

Her face responds adequately. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. Look, I'm just really stressed. and all this whole Professor Egghead thing sounds crazy, but I'm sorry for calling you a bitch. I won't do it again. The t-shirt continues to dangle from her hand. She doesn't put it on.

I'm sorry I dragged you into this, Petra. I really am. I should have told you before I invited you over. No one wants to spend this Saturday with a crazy guy talking about a man-made of X. I promise I'll make this up to you. I just need your help on one thing. She prows me with her eyes, not letting a single hint of emotion show on her face. How will you make this up to me?

She finally asks, however you want. What do you want me to do, Petra? It depends. What do you need help with? I need to find some meth. Meth? Meth. Yes, meth.

Back home we had this show called Breaking Bad, where a science teacher starts cooking really strong meth, amphetamines. Him and his friends start exploiting the drugs to the Czech Republic because you guys are the biggest consumers of the stuff in the world. Petra doesn't answer. She pulls on her t-shirt and stompes off to my bedroom. I follow her, pleading, leaving a trail of bloodied water on the Lenonium. Oh come on. You have to know someone right. There has to be some truth to the show, right? Wordlessly, she pulls on a single sock. But as she reaches for the second one, her scowl breaks into angry words. You've lived here for what?

A year? You've lived here for a year, and you still base your understanding of my culture on some bullshit Hollywood show. I sit down on the bed next to her. The gentle fluff of the covers makes me feel like I'm sitting on a cloud. She calls to me from the mattress.

Petra, please. And not that it's a matter of national pride, but we are not just the biggest consumers of methamphetamines. We are also the biggest producers and exporters of the stuff. To imply that you would make sense to export drugs across the Pacific is just more bullshit American exceptionalism. With a single sock on her foot, she yells at me.

At moments, I'm unsure if she's yelling at me because of who I am as a person or if she's yelling at me because I'm American. It doesn't make a difference. When she finishes her rant, Petra throws on the rest of her clothes and marches out of my door. I'm left alone. sleep-deprived and methless. The red bruise on my arm turns black.

After another quadruple shot of espresso, I pick up my phone and call anyone and everyone in my contacts list who could possibly have access to drugs. I met with laughter and confusion every time. When I pushed for information, I met with the dial tone. In between the frantic phone calls, I shove my head in the cold water in the sink with the hopes of prolonging my consciousness.

As the rejections mounts, the ice starts to mount. By the time I have no one to call, all I'm left with is a sink full of pink, lukewarm water. For a moment I consider restocking the ice, but the creeping darkness outside whispers promises of rest. I know that I can't last another 24 hours in my apartment without going to sleep. Pulling on my coat, I walk out into the cold November night. The crisp fall air steadies me somewhat as I leave my house.

but the flash of alertness doesn't last long. Soon enough I'm aimlessly walking through the city of Prague, unsure of how I'll resist the pull of the nightmarish egg creature that haunts me. Even though architecture of the city is of rough Gothic stone, I can't help but to find it soft. The world's soft. Every bench, every tram stop, every medieval divot in the ancient structures calls to me and invites me to lie down and rest.

I stagger across the copperstone, trying to remind myself of what will happen if I dare to dream. Beep! Hey, boss, are you looking for girls? I found myself standing on the brightly lit Wencesworth Square. A statue of the Czech patron saint towers over the end of the boulevard, promising protection from all the forces that would dare harm the country. Grand structures of Parisian architecture spread out in front of him, promising a culture that will never be forgotten.

Next to me stands a strip club promoter, wearing an oversized top hat and a glimmering coat of fake gold. Hardest girls in all of Prague, free entry, he says, smiling a salesman's grim. No, thank you, I reply, remembering my previous attempt to distract myself from the demented reality of Professor Egghead with a female form. Ah, American, you're here to party, yes.

I can show you the wildest bars, best beer, best girls, and best fun. I live here, I reply. This completely changes his demeanour. Ah, fuck off then, he says, realizing you can't sell me on any of the tourist traps. Go back home to your cheeseburgers. Not wanting to break my nose a second time, I start to walk away. But then I stop.

I look at the man. He no longer looks like the product of an affair between a magician in the carpet. For a moment, in the flickering of the electric lamplight, he looks like my only hope. Hey, I say, do you know where I can find some men? I have resorted to extreme measures to escape, Professor Egghead. First, I don't feel it. At first I'm just a bruised-up corpse, wavering in and out of consciousness. But then, a jolt, a serrated bolt of lightning, flashes from the core of my being out to my extremities. My fingertips feel electric. I'm wide awake. I'm not scared anymore. I am freaking wired. The dirty energy roars through my body. I feel a thousand

filthy suns burn in my chest. The rush of power is so overwarming, so ecstatic that I can't help but to howl. Like a fucking wolf, I call out to a moon that I know shines for me somewhere beyond the city. My nose might be broken, the feeling in my right arm might be gone, but I am a raging, walking guard. Screw you, Professor Egghead, I scream, clutching the bathroom mirror. You can't get to me when I'm awake. You can't do shit. I'm the one in charge now. There's a knock on the door. McDonald's security. They say they're going to call the cops. I grabbed the bag and bolt out the door.

Well, they're not chasing me, but I don't stop running. I sprint through the old town of Prague and let the history of the city envelop me. The place is like a thousand years old, centuries and centuries of cobblestone and churches and bullets and blood. And I'm on top of it all. I am the apex predator. My heart beats like it's about to jump out of my chest, and my entire being vibrates with a newfound will to live.

It takes me a good minute to realize my phone's ringing. It's Teddy's father. I just calling to let you know I'm on my way to the airport. Couldn't find any direct flights on such short notice, but with a couple of layovers, I should be landing around 8 p.m. tomorrow local time. Cool, I say, still running. No need to be in the house when I arrive. I still have Teddy's keys.

That's great. I try to focus on the conversation, but I can't. The lights of the city, the fresh air, the power boiling in my veins. is just all so infinitely more interesting. For a moment he's silence, but then Teddy's father lets out a labored sign. Oh, I'm also calling to apologize for Yarnachi. I didn't mean to get angry, it's just that I love my son.

When his mother passed, it was a difficult time for both of us. Teddy went off to his own little world with his collections, and I figured that, well, if that's what he needed to do, I thought supporting Teddy during his move to Prague would help me. bring back my son, but I don't understand this business with the tape. But I hope I understand tomorrow. Look, I just wanted to apologize for yelling at you, and I also wanted to thank you. For what?

For being Teddy's friend. I mean, he spoke very highly of you. Another burst of euphoria flows through my chest. Of course, Teddy spoke highly of me. I'm a really cool guy. Just as I'm about to say something to that effect, Teddy's father, however, I accidentally hang up the phone. The man doesn't call bad.

Thoughts of the sad man disappear beneath the sheer enjoyment of my drug-fueled sprint. I stop at the clock tower, not because I'm out of breath. I mean, if I could run ten miles if I wanted to, but because my nose starts bleeding again. I fish out some loose tissues from my jacket and contain the damage. A flash is a white. A group of tourists takes pictures of me. I'm more interested in the clock tower show.

They'll all be telling their families about the strange, energetic man covered in blood they saw in Prague's old town. I pose for them, because why not? You only live once. I don't forget about him. I know that somewhere in the near future, I will come face to face with those rotting eyes again. But the thought doesn't bother me.

I just feel so freaking good. An hour ago, I was terrified of falling asleep before sunrise. now I know that with enough willpower I could outlast a nightmare for a hundred nights The bell of the tower rings eight times 8pm That's when Teddy's father arrives tomorrow That's when that horrible VHS tape will be out of my life

All I need to do is to keep myself occupied For the next 24 hours With the chemical vitality coursing through my bloodstream I don't have to cower in fear I can prosper A brave Chinese lady walks out of the crowd of tourists and poses in front of me. She's pointing at me, her face frozen in an exaggerated giggle for her husband's camera. I'm sure her family back home would get a kick out of the picture,

but before her husband has a chance to snap the moment into eternity, I'm gone. A sprint to the subway station. I feel more energized than I have ever felt in my life. I can't waste this boon of inspiration. I know what I have to do. The question of writing a book about my life was less of an if and more of a when question. As soon as I moved to Prague, I knew.

I knew that I had a story worth committing to paper. Barely anyone who I went to high school with moved outside of California. They weren't brave enough to seize life by its horns. They stayed home and started working dead-end jobs and having ugly children. They let the comfort zone consume them. I didn't. I travelled far from home and left my comfort zone in the dust.

As soon as I moved to that bright city of Gothic stone, I knew that my life was going to get captured in a book. The nose full of meth just gave me the extra push I needed. As soon as I entered the subway, paragraphs worth of words about the unfriendliness of the locals start a rapid fire in my mind. The carriage is full of grumpy checks who all look like someone spit in their foods. All those tired faces, the rumbling of the train, it inspires me, but it also bores me. Not wanting to let my burst of vitality be sucked away by the grey surroundings, I pop in my headphones. I hope the drums of the Warriors of Perun will keep me energized.

They do. They even get me moving. At first it's just a tap of the foot. As I take in the steady flow of music in my ears, I can't help but tap along to the beat. But as the music grows, as a rhythm of the drums turn savage, my feet give up on restraint. I start stomping along to the rapid fire blasts buzzing in my ears. Soon enough, I'm dancing. My nose starts bleeding again. The other commuters step back in disgust, but that just gives me more space to dance.

My arms and legs move independent of conscious thought. My body sings a primal song to the breakneck tempo of life. I stand in a steadily thickening pool of my own blood, but I have never felt more alive. The music beckons me towards a grimy rapture. Close my eyes and follow it. Aplores. Just as we pass the Smischofsky-Nadrarshi station, I hear applause. For a moment I try to deny it.

For a moment I try to keep my eyes closed and focus in on the powerful music in my ears. But I can't. I know he's watching me. I know Professor Egghead is nearby. The other passengers of the subway have cleared way to make room for my blood-soaked dance. But when I open my eyes, I see him sitting in front of me. His body is still an egg-shaped abomination,

and he vaguely resembling a human. His stubby legs hang from the train seat like malformed baby limbs. But Professor Egghead's eyes are different. They're wide open and shaking. amphetamines were first synthesized in 1887 by Romanian chemist Lazare adeleanl the egg creature rasps breathlessly as if he was delivering a lecture in front of a firing squad yet it wasn't until the Second World War that they attained common usage nearly all branches of the Vermaktarm forces utilize the

benefits of the miracle drug without amphetamines the Bliss Creek would be impossible I shut my eyes and turn up the music to a deafening volume. With my soul wavering between spine-crackling ecstasy and soul-shattering fear, I dance. I stomp and I spin and I jump, hoping to drown out the professor's demented lecture. Yet no matter how hard I try to ignore his high-pitched torrent of useless information, I know he's there.

I know those quivering yellow eyes are watching me. When the subway arrives at my station, I burst out the door. For a blessed moment, I am alone. Sprinting through the dark streets, the night air starts to wash out the sweat and panic from my system, but the moment of energized tranquility doesn't last long. Behind me, I hear the bristocato of the professor's shoes. He's moving faster than an egg-shaped man ever shows. Methamphetamine stimulates dopamine production in the user's brain beyond the scope of any other activity or substance. The nightmare screeches as he runs behind me.

Sexual intercourse increases the dopamine units to 200. Cocaine and heroin increased the dopamine units to 400. Methamphetamine increases the brain's dopamine production to 1,500 units. On a chemical scale, there's nothing like the pleasure that's coursing through your veins right now. My hands are so numb, I have trouble finding my keys. the drugs the fear the pain a chaotic symphony of a filthy life buzzes in my veins threatening to send me clattering down to the ground yet the toxic fire burning in my chest steadies me when i finally get the door of the apartment complex open i jump in and slam it shut the burst of euphoria from the uses of methamphetamines however has its price the professor says from behind the glass entrance to the complex as i run to the yellow I pray that the locked door will keep him away from me and as I shake in the elevator I even start to believe it Yet by the time I reach my unit he's standing in the hallway waiting for me

What goes up must come down he says That is science I slam the door behind me I lock it, I chain it, but it doesn't matter When I turn around the professor is on my couch lying on his side staring at me with his quills the side effects of methamphetamine usage was so severe that within a year of the war effort the Nazi high command restricted the stimulants for only the most dire of cases the withdrawal effects left the soldiers I put the earphones back in and headed for my computer the egghead continues detailing the dangers of methamphetamine withdrawal from my couch but I don't listen to him I don't care about such suicidal migraines of psychosis I can't afford to care about those things. I only care about staying awake until Teddy's father arrived.

I open up Microsoft Word and stare at a white page. At first all I can think about is the eggheads. At first all I can think about are the prophecies of horrible withdrawal symptoms that he whispers about. But the dirty sons that burn in my chest flare up. A new overwhelming surge of energy courses through my body. I start typing. The fingers on my right hand make mistakes, but I ignore their falling. Even though they shake and misjudge their movements, they're attached to a mind burning with

inspiration. Typhos can be corrected later. The magical flow of creativity cannot be postponed. As I weave gold on the page, time dissolves into nothingness. I become the centre of the universe. Every step that I ever took back home was leading me to Prague. Everything I ever did in the States pointed me towards the bohemian. paradise where I could become the truest version of myself. From my depths and artistic soul

demands to be let out, and my inner Bohemian takes control. Yet as I write about my zany adventures in the heart of Europe, something else emerges from my depths, a headache. It starts off light, as a simple itch behind my eyes, but soon enough it grows to a palpable strength. My nose starts to twitch. The withdrawal symptoms from methamphetamine usage are so severe that most users will binge the drug just to avoid the come-down phase. The egg-shaped abominations voice booms past my music, and no one can run forever. What comes up must come down. That is science. The morning sun illuminates him as if he were a deity.

His eyes shine like two sickly moons. For a moment I believe him, for a couple of beats of my tiring heart, I despair over the future that awaits me. But then, I do more meth. The rush is just as instant as before, but I feel no need to vocalize it this time. I just go back to the keyboard and continue churning out my life story. As the hours fly by, the room becomes far too bright. I shut the windows. I dim the screen.

I let my fingers work in the dark. Whenever the headache starts to crawl back through my skull, I reach for the magic powder. But the pain is relentless and my supplies are limited. By the time I start writing about Petra, all I have left is an empty plastic baggie. The headache persists. It squeezes at any capacity my mind has for clear thoughts. The base of my skull feels like it's on fire. I'm in agony, and I feel empty. I feel so empty. You will come back to Professor Egghead, he says.

Soon enough, you'll be back in the supermarket. Soon enough, you'll be making the audience laugh. Soon enough, you'll serve me. Even in the dark room, I can see his eyes. They shine with an indescribable madness. They shake with unbridled excitement. Professor Egghead always gets what he wants. No, I yell.

partly for him but mainly to calm the fire that's starting up in the pit of my stomach. I can do this. I can outlast you. When Teddy's father gets here, you'll be his problem. Professor Egghead always gets what he demands. He simply repeats. I make myself another quadruple espresso and turn on all the lights in the apartment. The sudden flash of brightness hurts my eyes and the coffee burns my tired tongue.

But the real pain comes when I turn on the screen of my laptop. It's all gibberish. 47 single-space Microsoft Word pages of random letters and numbers. The migraine, the broken nose, the soreness in my arm. It all hurts, but it's the realization that I'm a moron that's the true agony. My one saving grace, the one thing that stops me from just lying down and traveling to that horrid dimension of television static is the clock in the right-hand side of the screen. 8 to 5 p.m.

Teddy's father is already in Prague and he's on his way to rid me of my egg-shaped burden. Briefly, the thought of rescue eases my mind, but a wave of exhaustion and pain takes precedence almost immediately. Any shred of confidence I've ever held in my life feels misplaced. The minutes passed like a slug crawling through broken glass. Every sound from the hallway is followed by a painful realization that Teddy's father is not behind the door. I find myself leaning back in the couch, dreading the drug-fuelled running I indulged in the night before.

I struggle with every part of my drained being to stay awake. Professor Egghead sits opposite me, smiling. Professor Egghead always gets what he demands, he says, and then he yawns. I yawn too. Beep, his eyes stop their frantic shaking. They still look sickly, but there's a calmness behind them. He yawns again. Beep!

Come join Professor Egghead, he says, closing his eyes. Come and serve me in the name of science. Beep! I rush to the bathroom and retreat to my filthy sink. The water is murky with blood and grime, but I have no choice. Beep. Misjudging my footing, I end up slamming my face on the inside of the sink. The porcelain holds, but a string of warm scarlet blood travels through the pink water.

I watch the blood flow from my nose, unsure of how much sleep deprivation I can take. Well, my body answers my question. Beep! Not a lot. I gasp for breath, but immediately lower my face back into the sink. sink. The world outside of the water is far too comfortable, far too warm, far too soft. I turn on the cold water tap and let a stream of frigid water cool the back of my head. It helps, but the exhaustion dragging my body down isn't something that can be fixed.

My sleepiness is terminal. Beep! I stand by the sink, taking deep breaths and plunging my head under water as if I was trying to expand my lung capacity but my body starts to give up i start to wonder what would happen if i never came up for i start to wonder whether professor egghead would haunt me past the grave i decide to test the theory what are you doing the kind voice screams before my face is hauled out of the murky water you're trying to drown yourself oh please please don't do that there's enough pain in the world or ready his sad blue eyes stare at me in one hand teddy's father is clutching the side of my

bloodied shirt and the other a pair of keys what are you doing he asks his voice shaking i've resorted to some extreme measures to escape professor egghead i say let's go of my shirt gently letting me hold myself up against the sink his eyes drift across the dirty bathroom I see my reflection in the mirror. It doesn't look good. Did Teddy also do drugs? The man asks. No, I say.

Good, he says. He's about to say something else. He's about to ask me if I'm okay, but the beeping in the back of my skull informs me there's no time for small talk. VHS is in Teddy's room, I say as I stumbled past him. Professor Egghead is still sitting next to the couch.

his eyes closed in a peaceful nap, but I don't care. The only thing I care about is getting the beeping that echoes through my soul to stop. I crash down on the couch and try to conserve the little energy I have left. I just watch the tape and get this egg-shaped monstrosity out of my life. The man sets off to Teddy's room without a single word,

but he stops at the doorway. Past the mist of my tired eyes, I can see him looking at me. Thank you again for being Teddy's friend, he says. Sure, I sigh. Too preoccupied with the cocktail of agony and exhaustion flowing through my body. Just watch the freaking tape, would you? I say, trying to hold on to what little strength I have left.

He closes the door, and soon enough I hear the rumble of a familiar canned applause. I sit up. The beeping in the back of my head disappears. A single piece of good news, calm. with my flailing soul. The beeping is gone. I'm safe. The television next door booms

with Professor Eggheads raving. As the studio audience laughs and claps, the sleeping manifestation of the Eggman in front of me smiles. He looks like a baby with some terminal disease that's having a nice dream. Briefly, I feel like I might join him in the land

of sleep, like I might finally get some rest. But a shout from the other room jolts me away. Teddy, oh, Teddy, what have they done to you? Teddy's father yells. The studio audience goes silent. Teddy, can you see me? It's me.

Dad, I love you. Dad? I hear Teddy say. Dad, where are you? Help, I'm scared. Oh, the studio audience booms from the television. The sleeping egg man in front of me is no longer smiling. His disgusting eyes are wide open.

He isn't happy. Without even looking at me, the professor gets up from his sleeping spot and wolls over to Teddy's bedroom. I am Professor Egghead, he screams. And these are my adventures. Teddy's father screamed something, but he's drowned out by the wild clapping of the audience. For a moment the whole apartment is filled with echoes of laughter and applause.

But then, with an electric pop, everything goes silent. I lay on the couch, staring at the cracks in the ceiling, wondering if it's all over. When I close my eyes, there's no beeping. When I close my eyes, I feel like I'm alone. When I close my eyes, I feel like I can rest without becoming a character in Professor Egghead's adventures. The gates of sleep invite my tired soul to rest,

and I'm more than willing to enter their soft kingdom. but I don't. Past the exhaustion and pain and methamphetamine withdrawal, there's still a part of me that's holding on to weightfulness. It's the part of me that craves closure. I shambled my way over to Teddy's room. The tape is paused on the opening shot at the fast food restaurant. Teddy still stands behind the counter

wearing the red uniform he wore before, but he looks calmer. I grabbed the remote and press play. The customers still don't eat their burgers. The line still doesn't advance. The audience still washes in the walking nightmare with excited applause. I am Professor Egghead. The egg-shaped abomination screams from the television.

I demand the grilled carcass of an animal between two pieces of processed wheat. I must receive nourishment before I indulge in the science. I'm sorry, sir. Teddy wimpers like he did before. There are other customers. If you just wait your place in line. There are no other customers than me. Professor Egghead. The professor screams as he drags down the innocent bystanders to their death.

I demand flesh and bread. I demand fuel for my body so that I can commit my mind to science. Please, sir, don't hurt the other customers. Teddy begs. I will destroy all that is in my path in the name of science. Bring me a feast worthy of a philosopher, king. By the time the mad scientist is standing in front of Teddy, the kid is visibly shaking, but he still manages to get his lines out.

Okay, Mr. Egghead, what can I get you? I am a professor, the egg-shaped man screeches. I have attended all of the universities in the world. My walls aligned with degrees that you have never. never even conceived of. I have dedicated my life to the pursuit of knowledge, and I will be addressed with the respect I deserve. I'm sorry, Professor Egghead. What can I get you? I want the finest meat which the slaughterhouse can provide, served on buns of processed virgin wheat. Oh, sorry, we don't have that item on the menu, Teddy says. But if you want, I can call my

manager. Yes, I wish to communicate with the king of this eatery. Not a very. me a cog in the dining machine. Call forth the master of the food so that I can be given the banquet I demand. Dad, Teddy yells. Dad, Professor Egghead wants to speak to you. The red uniform barely fits around the man's porch, and Teddy's father looks unsure of his movements, yet when he places his hand on his son's shoulder, a smile comes across his face. Hello, I'm the manager of this fast food restaurant. He says, How can I help you? A father and son working together.

This is the true meaning of family. This is the true meaning of love. Professor Egghead screams as the studio audience lets forth a round of awls. The only love which I know is my undying love of science. I have only lab beak as a microscope to heart. The Egghead is so alone. Professor Egghead's admission of loneliness

makes the audience explode with laughter. Watching the father and son stand together in front of the unhinged monstrosity brings a smile to my face. Even past the roaring pain that claws at my body, I can appreciate a happy ending. I find myself laughing along with the invisible crowd. But then, I stop. Beep, a familiar supermarket flickers on the screen of the television. The checkout lane is still empty. Beep!

The boarding man stands at the front of the line with his cards. He's looking at me. There's no escape from Professor Erghead, he says. Many have tried and none have succeeded. His demands will always be met. Just follow the script and... The visage on the screen explodes into a burst of electricity and shatter glass. After throwing the remote through the television,

I rip out the VCR and stomp it into tiny bits. of plastic. As I destroy the place from where Professor Egghead first came, I find myself weeping. I find myself weeping for my lost soul. No amount of tears or force, however, can stop the unstoppable. Beep! Professor Egghead's demands are always met. As I write this, I'm lying on my couch, a bruised up corpse wavering in and out of consciousness. I've resigned myself to my fate. I know that I will be part of Professor Egghead's adventures soon. I know I can't fight destiny anymore. If there's one thing which I can leave you with, if there's one thing I can give to this world before I'm forced into the demented dimension in which the Egghead makes

his demands, it's a warning. If you ever find a VHS tape title Professor Egghead's adventures. Do not watch it. And so once again, we reach the end of tonight's podcast. My thanks as always to the authors of those wonderful stories and to you for taking the time to listen. Now, I'd ask one small favor of you. Wherever you get your podcast wrong, please write a few nice words and leave a five-star review as it really helps the podcast. That's it for this week, but I'll be back again, same time, same place. and I do so hope you'll join me once more. Until next time, sweet dreams and bye-bye.