Dragon Friends - #1.07. Aren't All Bags Bags of Holding with Tom Walker and The Bear Pack

Episode Date: October 19, 2015

Our adventurers go shopping, are reunited with an old friend and meet a long lost relative. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As glory's just beginning, our adventure never ends The saga of the heroes that they call the Dragon Friends First up, this episode is great. It's got everything you want. You want Filge? Filge is back. You want shopping? They go shopping for quite a while. Fuck goblins? Don't even talk to me about fuck goblins. There are only two little problems.

First, because of some technical issues, we lost the first 15 minutes of the show, but it's okay, we'll catch you. And second, because of those same technical issues, we don't have our bard, Benny Davis. But we do have an awesome guest, and all the NPCs for this episode are played by the award-winning improvisers,

The Bear Pack. So, swings and roundabouts. So, let's get you caught up. Our adventurers have found their way into Waterdeep, and in a bid for Bobby to make good with the Beggar King, they've stolen an amulet from an artifice's house. Then, after a night's sleep in the ship line, they encounter two Hobgoblin guards who escort

them to meet the mysterious Hobgoblin mother. And that is where our story picks up. As you follow the Hobgoblins, you realise that you're heading uptown. They're avoiding the major highways. Yeah, you got to. got to this time of year Taking back alleys and smaller streets But leading you to one of the more affluent areas of the city you find yourselves Outside a walled house that looks very expensive a walled house that looks very expensive. Two hobgoblins in what looks like some kind of livery are standing at attention waiting at the doors. They all have

crudely made tabards that have a face of what looks like a smiling orc on it. The head guard indicates, Bran Bran, Trillip. This them? Trillip? Hey Trillip! Answer the Trillip? Hey, Trillip! Answer them, Trillip! What do you reckon, Trillip? What do you reckon? Are these them? Hey, who are you looking for specifically? We can probably tell you who we are.

There's a little one and there's a wizardy looking one. He's got a weird book and that. The two hobgoblins at the door who seem to be a little bit smarter than Bran Bran and Trillip confer hastily and then beckon you inside. The doors open and you find you're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard.

You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard.

You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. You're in the house of the little wizard. The two hobgoblins at the door, who seem to be a little bit smarter than Bran Bran and Trillip, confer hastily and then beckon you inside. The doors open and you find yourselves in a tastefully arranged kind of boudoir. There are sort of big pillows. There's a fountain in the middle of the room. Hanging silks, nice beautiful stone staircase leading up along the wall. silks, nice beautiful stone staircase leading up along the wall and in the centre of it, positively beaming to see you, dressed in a quite ostentatious outfit, which she will describe as Filch. Everybody, welcome back, Alex Lee.

Hooray! We got there in the end. Filch, what is going on? Uh... Uh... Quiet! Band camp start later. Sorry.

Sorry. Short one. Coldy. Me forget name, but me happy to see you. Nice to see you too, Filge. Yeah. So what are these digs? Where are we?

Do you own this? Me think so. We smashed... An impeccably dressed hobgoblin butler arrives with a small tray that has three little balls for sort of dipping your fingers in and a tasteful assortment of grapes. I drink them all.

My fingers are so dry. I smush grapes into your fingers. All better. Now. Hey, do you have minions now? Yeah, me have minions, me have fuck goblins, me have whatever you want. Sorry, sorry, what was that?

Minions, me have minions, me have fuck goblins. I would like to make... Me have musicians, me have massage goblins. I would like to make... Me have musicians. Me have massage goblins. Are they similar to the fuck goblins, or...? They have some different levels of integrity. Well, I would like to meet one of these fuck goblins. Oh, you, my friend, as many fuck goblins as you please. Bring me two fuck goblins, please.

Filch. Hing. Friso Somebody call for a fuck goblin. Hey, what's the fuck? I'm all ready for fucking. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Gentlemen or ladies. This fuck

goblin is Sally. Hello. This Patricia. Pleasure to fuck you. You know what? I'm... But it's too late. They are already taking you into the building. I'm interested in your human stories! Bobby, as you loiter in the sort of boudoir quadrangle area of the building,

you see another slightly sharper looking hobgoblin who seems to be fiddling with a ledger. He seems a little bit put out and is marking down frantically and counting coins. Hey, bro. Oh, sorry, man. I'm just doing some commerce. What?

Sorry. Hey, my name's Bobby. Oh, g'day, Bobby. How are you? What's my name? I'm Jerov. Jerov. Pleased to meet you.

Hey, man. Listen, I know... Yeah, it's my dad's name. Yeah? Yeah. It's a lovely name. Thanks. Yeah, dad liked it

what's um what's going on here like i know uh the the mother uh is a friend of ours yeah uh yeah yeah oh yeah she's a good friend i mean you can have what what is that i mean do you have fuck goblins all the time do you like can you just, can you eat grapes anytime you want? You get the feeling that Jerof is being a little bit sarcastic with you and every time he indicates an exorbitant expense, he starts ticking off more and more expenses on a ledger and counting through what seems to be a dwindling bag of coins. I guess I'd better just go and kill a bear and you can eat its face or something.

I guess that's what you want. Hey, Jeroft, you know what? Did someone mention bear face? I'm hungry. It just isn't in the budget. Can I roll a perception check to see if I can tell what Jeroft's armour class is? Aren't you off getting fucked? Aren't you not there for a second?

Or am I getting fucked right now? I don't... Or fucking, you know. Are you saying that you're leaving, what was it, Patricia and Sally? No, because they left, or did I go with them? You went with them. Oh, awesome.

All right. There's a screaming sound in the distance. Can we roll initiative to see who fucks first? Or alternatively Can I roll a perception check to see what to do In this situation Because I don't think Friso knows how to fuck two goblins at a time What you may have noticed is that I have delicately

Drawn a sort of Curtain over this scene And I am focusing on Jerold And the bursary Not the terrorist screams. If you're interested in the human stories of Sex Workers Day, then that's fine. No, okay, let's go there. We cut to a bedroom and...

Okay, go for it. Oh, you're done? Are you done? Okay, go for it. Well, you weren't interested in this, so I'm going to be DMing this portion of the show. Friso is sitting on a bed and saying, I just wish people would talk to me more, you know? That's what I want.

I know what you mean. I know what you mean. You know, like, a lot of people, they just go, oh, just fuck Goblin, you know? Like, I just fuck him. I understand, man. I mean, yeah, sure, I'm a fuck Goblin. That's what I am, you know? That's what I was born. But yeah sure i'm a goblin that's my that's what i am you know that's what i was you're not defined by your job that's the thing you know

yeah i guess i guess but i mean i was bred through magic and alchemy to and i'm sure you're great at it you know but just do you know what he's great at though he loves he's a good baker he should bake that bread should bake that bread i know i Do you know what he's great at, though? He's a good baker. He should bake that bread. He should bake that bread. I know I should. I know I should. He should fucking bake that bread. Frizo, can you make for me a persuasion check to see if you're getting through to Sally?

Fourteen. Yeah, you know what? Sally's going to become a baker now. You know what? Changing lives, Frizo, as he travels the land, making talking things to people, changing their lives for better. Friso!

Is Friso the new, like, Dr Phil of the goblin world? And so as we cut back to outside... Gerold is explaining to Bobby that they are very nearly out of money. This bandit camp, which had quite a bit of money, it was a profitable little dig that they had just outside of Daggerford. Friso has mobilised the camp and brought them to Waterdeep

and installed them in Uptown. You mean Filch, sorry. Filch, thank you, yes. In very expensive quarters. And they're running out of money. Jerof, however, is stressed about this, but has some faith that everything's going to be OK, and he leans in and he tells you

that the reason everything's going to be OK is that there is a big secret Filch has, and when Filch tells the secret, they're going to be able to make their money. There's some kind of heist. There's a plan. The mother has a plan. I find that very hard to believe.

But okay, I'll chat to the mother. In the meantime, I can see that this is very stressful for you. So if you want, I can take over the purse strings. What? Yeah. But it's all counting. This isn't fun. You know what? I understand that.

You want to count the money? Sure, but for you, because I know you've had a tough time. Make a persuasion check. DC 15. No. No. No. No, I reckon I will be doing that.

I like my abacus. But have you ever dreamed of having another job? Maybe being a baker? I dreamed of being on a whale once. You can't solve every problem by hoping that someone wants to be a baker. I'm putting my foot down. Where's Filge at the moment? I think Filge has just got her face

stuffed in a... In a bear's face. And I'm eating that. She's eating a bear's face from the inside out. I'm eating a bear's face from the inside out. Ngang, ngang, ngang, ngang, ngang. I overhear this conversation and I'm like, quiet! I'm sorry, mother. I'm like quiet I'm sorry mother

me have plan me plan is to take each bit gold chop it up then have more gold oh no get to work chop up my gold make tiny

golds! More golds! That'll render all of our coins that we do have meaningless! We'll just have gold! But more! Well, I mean, we'll probably have less! It's very clear that Filge is in over her head. The hobgoblins are in a very tenacious position financially

and she is right at the centre of it. Hey, Filch, why don't you ask Jeffron, or whatever his name is... It's Jerof. It's Jerof. It's my father's name. Excuse me, can you give us a moment? Jerof?

Don't spook to my son like that. Excuse me, Jerof Senior? Yes. Get fucked. I'm with the mother and we have private business to talk about. Oh, shit, Dad. Shit. They scrape their way back and leave you.

Come on, son, let's go bake a rye. Phil, we've got to get out of here because we have a magical amulet that can control all robots. I cannot tell you how many times I've told you that's not what the amulet does but keep going anyway as I'm led to believe why don't you just ask them for the money and we can get Frieza and let's

amscray because we have business to attend to well I think it me money so it got me face on it. You think. So, just take?

Yeah, just take. Alright, so you're just going to take the money that's left and make your way out? Yeah. Alright,

so you start collecting, you find a sack next to the bursar station and ignoring the protestations of Jerof, start scooping the gold into it

and making your way towards the door. Don't worry Jerof, starts scooping the gold into it and making your way towards the door. Don't worry, Jerof. Me gonna cut up the gold myself. I mean, you've breathed it so many times, you can't. Me have fat hands. You can't, Leif, you can't. Oh, you're right.

Friso is still in here. Friso, I'm having a moment. Finish up! We've got to go! Ah! All right, done. Friso comes out, and as you make your way towards the doors, you start noticing consternation.

The hobgoblins are getting more and more agitated as you seem to be taking all of their money, putting it in sacks, and getting ready to take the mother and leave. As you get towards the door, three rather well-armed goblins finally sort of muster up the courage to stand in front of the door. The middle one, who looks a little older and wiser still

than any of the ones that you've met, says, What are you doing? Where are you taking the mother? Filge, give them a stirring speech. Oh. Remember, my hob children. Days ago when you were motherless and I birthed you all in that beautiful ceremony that made everybody scream.

Now me, your mother mother and me must fly coop to bring back worms to feed you because it is my understanding that you all like worms. Let us go. Remember from whence you've came but leave us go. Go! Remember from whence you've came, but leave us now. You make your way out. Congratulations. I'm not even going to make you roll. That was beautiful.

As you head out of the house, whatever you want to call it, the mansion in Uptown, you cannot help but feel that the amulet is burning a hole in your pocket. Bobby, you know that you were meant to bring this back to Janos with Clodric last night. It has now been a few hours and you are yet to show your face in front of the Beggar King. This is not a man who likes to be kept waiting

and already the time to properly pay him back may have passed. Guys, surf's up. We're going to hit the sewers. Bobby has a debt he has to repay. We're heading back to the Beggar King? Yeah, we're heading back to the Beggar King. Filch, just go with us.

I understand. Let's go. I... I really felt you were going to go with us there. Well, just, like, I didn't go into the sewers last time. I feel like I need Bobby to, like, persuade me to go into the sewers. It was... Actually, once you get in there, it's pretty nice. It's like... It's like the ocean.

I will follow you for 50 gold pieces. Now, before you go, actually, while you're talking about money, you can check... You check the bags that you have, and you have actually made out like bandits from these bandits, dare I say. You've probably found 75 gold pieces worth of peasants' money that you will doubtlessly never return to them. Are you ready, Dan? So we all get 25 each.

All right. That must mean you guys have quite a bit of money right now. Is that correct? Yeah. Yes. I mean, it's hard to know because I don't know how this economy works. So... How many gold pieces do you have? I have 225

gold pieces. That's quite a lot. And I also have four pairs of sunglasses. I'm sure you're reading that wrong. Yeah, I got them from the temple because remember when we said it was like a sunglass hut? Alright. Alright, congratulations.

You can share them with the rest of the group if you want. Well, just... I'm going to at some point remind you guys adventure to adventure we can sort of go

you know, go onwards but it's up to you to spend that money when you want to. You are now in a big city. Yeah, I believe last episode I bought a jar of piss.

The first purchase in the game. So when you want to spend that is also up to you. But are you going to go to the sewers now? Should we buy some stuff before we go to the sewers in case we need more gear for when we take on... Scuba diving gear and stuff. Yeah, sure, all right. Or, like, I mean, things could get hairy with Janos,

so if we have some, like, we have some sweet magic shit or whatever, that would certainly make us stray. How does this work, Dave? Is there a shop we go to? Pumpkins for sale! I've got pumpkins at my stall! Who'd like to buy a whistle? I've only got one.

As you can hear... You've got one whistle. I've got one whistle. Flutes! Flutes! So many flutes! As you can hear... You've got one whistle. I've got one whistle. Flutes, flutes, so many flutes. As you can hear, there are shops all around in Waterdeep. Who'd like to buy some mud? Hats, hats, hats.

There are stores that sell weapons. There are stores that sell equipment and vestments for priests, almost any profession that you could care to name. There are even those occult stores that warlocks and wizards and other adventurers buy magical items in. I've got a star for sale. Does it do anything? Wouldn't you like to find out?

I would. Tell me. 30 gold pieces. Yeah, what's it do? 30 gold pieces. What's it do? 30 gold pieces. Get fucked. Tell me what it does. Oh, I'd like to. 30 gold pieces What's it do? 30 gold pieces Get fucked Tell me what it does Oh I'd like to 30 gold pieces

I'd like to go to this Employment shop Where you can buy uniforms Okay alright So why don't we all go shopping So you're gonna go to a uniform shop Simon I wanna get some cool magic stuff

Cause I ain't got no magic You wanna go to a magic shop And Me gonna go mud shop You're gonna go to a mud shop Yeah Okay we will do these all We will do these all very quickly going to mud shop. You're going to go to a mud shop. Yeah. Okay, we will do these all very quickly.

So, first of all, you, Friso, go... Hey, welcome to General Pantaloons. How can I help you, bro? Hey, man. Got any, like, sweet, sweet music festivals on the weekend? Sing any Troubadours or anything like that sweet?

Hey, I just need some clothes for... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need some clothes for work. Yeah, super, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I work at a bakery. Yeah. And I need to get one of those hats and maybe an apron.

Stimpan, you want a hat that you can wear on Saturday and one on Sunday? What are you feeling? What are you feeling? No, I want like a baker's apron. Stimpan, you want a hat that you can wear on Saturday after one morning on Sunday? What are you feeling? No, I want like a baker's hat. Or a chef hat. Probably a baker's hat. While this is happening. Just quietly as a sidebar,

it's kind of interesting because we've always thought that Ben was kind of making fun of the process and slowing us down, but he may be the glue that holds this together. Don't ever let him hear that I said that. Bobby, you go to a magical emporium, a place where you can buy magical items, and you see the emporium is populated

by a number of junior acolytes, and there's all kinds of magical items that can be purchased. There is a very severe looking old wizard at the, sort of standing by the desk and there's a sort of junior wizard who is frantically, a quite large one, who is fiddling backstage. Welcome to Olaf's magical emporium of trinkets, shanks, chicks, and dearies.

You can buy anything you want here. Of course, the price may be more than you're willing to pay. How do I browse? There's a few items here. I could give you a selection of things that might interest you. But maybe, perhaps, to do that, you need to talk to the person who is working the desk. Oh no, don't ask me. No, that's not you this time.

In fact, that is a half-orc who is going to be played today by comedian Tom Walker. Come on up, Tom! Alright! So yeah, behind you, you can see this is a kind of orcish wizard, I suppose, who you can't help but feel is kind of familiar to you. Yeah. Hey, bro, did we go to school together? Oh, may not think so. Oh, my name's Bobby, by the way. Where did you go to school, though?

I went to school at Waterdeep High. Oh. No, me transfer out of Waterdeep High in final year, so unless you graduate in common year 37, me not in your graduating class. Yeah, cool. Do you know, we might know some of the same people, though. Yeah, sure. Sure, sure. Who do know some of the same people, though. Yeah, sure. Sure, sure. Who do you know?

Peony Bagbiter. No. You don't know Peony Bagbiter? Is she... Small halfling, ponytail. Oh, yeah, I do know her. Yeah, she's a real dirty gertie. I dated her.

At this point... Ooh! At this somewhat awkward juncture in the conversation, suddenly the doors swing open and Filge, covered in mud, walks through the door. Filge, you immediately see someone that you recognize because it is your half-brother, Dilge. Oh. Oh. Brother Sister

What the fuck It be long time It have been long time Me I run up and I give him a big hug Oh me not normally normally covered in mud. Me just been mud shop. A half-Orku rich in mud is not poor in anything else, sister. Oh brother, you're so wise, I miss you. Where have you been all these years? Oh, me just making big short name for self in big city.

You know, like in letters home to parents. Me, obviously doing very well for meself. I gesture and Dil just hiding the part of his name badge that says unpaid apprentice. Oh, you own shop? Oh, very good. Me mother of all hobgoblins, but no boasting.

Oh, me have many fuckgoblins that you cannot meet. But they there for sure, but right now they all sick. You can't see them. But they there for sure. I'm very sorry to interrupt this little tattery, but I have a shop to run.

Is anybody going to buy all my magic wares? Oh, yeah, definitely. I would love to. I have a potion here. You can have a potion. I have a bag. Or I have some gloves. Look at these gloves.

I cannot understand a single thing you're saying. Can anyone understand that voice? I think that's what high elvish sounds like, isn't it? Hold a second. Let me drink one of these potions of clarity. Again, we cannot understand you. I'm terribly sorry. That potion has made me, for a few moments at least,

much more succinct and, shall we say, understandable. It already wearing off. If I may continue. Dave, can I come back into this shop? Can I come to this shop now? Is that all right? Let's just quickly cut and see if you're ready. Did you wrap up your conversation?

Yeah, no, I arrive at the magical trinket shop dressed as a baker. All right, sure. That cost you five gold pieces. Congratulations. You have a baker's outfit. Oh, a baker. You know, before I came to Big City, it always...

APPLAUSE If one more person becomes a baker, it's heart attacks for everyone. Aww. Some items that you could purchase at this store. So there are a variety of potions, all of them labelled. You see more potions of healing, which you recognise. There are also potions with labels.

One has a spider's web on it. Another one has a silhouette of a giant on it. How much are these potions all for? Between 20 and 30 gold. Cool. Yeah, I'd definitely be in the market for a healing potion. That's a good choice. Is that one use only?

Oh yes. How many goes do you get out of it? Oh yes, only once. But you'll only need it that many times. This will be reaching back, but as he indicates the potion towards you, you recognise the liquid. You realise that this is the same liquid as those two vials of potion

that you took out of the Duke's Mansion in Daggerford. So you actually have what looks like very similar stuff. OK, I'll get one more so that I have three, one for each of us. Very good. And what's that one with a giant on it? What does that do? Oh, that's a very special thing. A very special thing indeed. Very good. And what's that one with a giant on it? What does that do?

Oh, that's a very special thing. A very special thing indeed. If you drink it, everything is very tall looking. Very tall indeed. In a strange potion, but in top seller. Also, it gives you very strong muscles, or the illusion of such an Incredible strength floods through your body and you can box down a wall if you want you'll break your hands, but you can do it

Can me by potion yeah, absolutely. So there's a potion of healing. There's a potion of giant strength That's going to believe that's actually a potion of giant comma strength I believe that's actually a potion of giant comma strength. The other items aren't labelled. There is a bag there. There is a small... Lucky dip. There is a small... Little...

Like a little silver make-up tray full of something. There is a dull crystal globe. There is a scepter with a very ostentatious button on the end of it. There is a robe hanging behind, and there is also a set of armour. While these are being displayed, Dilge sidles up to Friso and leans over to him and says, How it possible that Baker make number 12 to number 13? how it possible that baker make number 12 to number 13? That is a trade secret, my good man.

I cannot reveal the magic of the bakery. Speaking of which, I was in the market for some sort of magical millstone, or perhaps some sort of oven with which I might bake? Well, I don't have a magical oven, but I do have this bag. Lucky dear. Tis a bag most wondrous indeed. All right, how much is the bag worth? What does the bag do? To be honest, all of these artefacts will probably cost about 100 gold pieces each.

The potions were cheap. I would like to purchase the bag and the robes, please. Oh, excellent choice. The robes are a midnight blue. All right. I was just before. Are these some sort of like warlocky wizardy robes or are they like a bathrobe?

They're kind of patchwork robes. They've got lots of patches with little images on them. Somebody already knows what they are. Some sort of technicolor dream coat, you're saying? You can see some patches. Some patches have a symbol of a ladder or a coil of rope, or one of them even has, it looks like

siege equipment, like a battering ram. Is this some sort of loser robe that a scout would wear? No, a scout would surely perish in a robe like this. It's very warm. No, this scout would surely perish in a robe like this. It's very warm. No, this is a magical coat that can bring you anything you need, should you need it. Oh, it like room of requirements, but coat.

I don't know what that reference is. So you're going to take the robe? Yeah, I mean, can I do like a perception check to see if I know if this guy's lying or not? You are a warlock. You could definitely make an insight check to see if you recognise what type of magic item this is. 18. Well, you can just let Carlo blather on a bit more.

18. This is a robe of useful items. So any of the patches that are illustrated can be actually torn off the robe and thrown down onto the ground once off to create the item that's drawn on. I'm taking that in the bag. Alright and the bag do you want to also roll again? They're just TC 10 these are common items. Eleven.

Eleven yes that's a bag of holding as well so you know what that is? No why would I? Aren't all bags bags of holding? Aren't all bags bags of holding? Yeah! We just call them bags. Me sister see right through. Dilge, do you want to explain to your country bumpkin sister what a bag of holding is?

Oh, Filch. In big city, we many bags. These bags bigger than most other bags. These bags lead into pocket dimension. But not pockets. You put thing in bag and then room for many other thing in bag. Usually bag fill up with three things in. Oh, it bag filled with pockets.

Me get it. It's so big it could hold you. I put that guy in the bag. So it's a bag and it takes you to other dimensions? I think you can put as much stuff in as you want. You can put like genie lamp in Aladdin. You can put a lot. It's bigger on the inside.

It's a TARDIS bag. Hermione's purse. Hermione's purse. Got it. Got it. The only room where that's like an appropriate heckle. Alright, well I've got my

stuff. Is there anyone else going to buy anything? Is there a potion? Is there a potion to make Half-Orc more smart? Or love again? There was actually a beautiful potion of clarity but unfortunately it's already been drunk. Yum yum.

Yum yum. What that crystal ball, the cloudy crystal ball? Oh yeah, should I have taken that as the warlock? Oh well. What that? Will, do you want to make an insight roll? What's your insight? That's a great question.

Roll the dice. Okay. 19. 19. Okay. 19! Okay, well I was not expecting this, but you do actually recognize what it is. It's a device which you've seen before once, you know, used by traveling carnival types, I suppose, and

mummers in Daggerford. It's a drift globe. It's a globe that a wizard who knows how to activate it can throw up into the air and shed light on an area. It's great for raves, I must say. And can I ask about that scepter with the ostentatious button? This is a most peculiar item in my shop.

It just won't go anywhere. Which is as easy as he can do to say it's an immovable rod. It's a device that if you activate the button, it cannot be moved. So it will be locked in its absolute place. You can, so you know...

Can it float in the air? Or does gravity affect it? Is there gravity in Waterdeep? Yes, there's gravity in Waterdeep. I float over to freeze though. The reason I hes, no, it can. Is there gravity in Waterdeep? Yes, there's gravity in Waterdeep. I float over to freeze, though. The reason I hesitated there is it can float in the air. A huge, supernatural amount of pressure could push it down. But basically, if you put it somewhere and you press the button...

I'm going to get it. Great. I think that's about all the money you guys have. Can I also ask... So did me get the ball? Did I get the ball? Should I get the ball? You have no money, Filch.

I got 25 gold from the... These are 100 gold pieces each. I'll get it for you. Can you spot me? Oh, yeah, ask your brother. Do you get employee discount? Oh, employee discount? Employee discount.

Oh, me already used 10% off on Coke of many things to try and impress girl down at coffee shop. This was weeks ago. It no work. But if you interested, that cool. While this is going on, can I ask Dilj, can I show him my magic powder and see if he can recognize it? Absolutely. And also to the old man.

Hey guys, I got this powder. What's the deal? Just let me have a little sniff of that. Just a little... Just let me dab my finger in that. Just do a little... Oh, yes. He recognises and tells you that it is dust of disappearance.

This is something that if you throw in the air... As he demonstrates, you can make any... Where am I? But because he's just snorted it, it's just his nose that has disappeared, so it's this horrible, like, Voldemort-esque face. And we're all terrified. May not know how he smell.

Terrible. Terrible! Bill got it. I was introduced as comedian Tom Walker, and I intend to make it stick. I think as fun as half an hour of magical shopping is, you guys have used all your money and are we ready to go? Now get out.

Well, a pleasure doing business with you too, sir. Yes, the pleasure was all mine. And for some reason, the store explodes in a puff of smoke and disappears. Hey, Dilj. Why me still here? Hey, Dilj, I haven't read your contract. I think that was your third warning. I think you just got fired, dude.

Oh. Definitely did. May not even get severance. You guys need friends? Hey, are you a member of the union? Yes. You should go to your union. Let's go to your union rep right now.

Sorry. Hey, Friso, let's get to that afterwards. But we've got to go down to see the robber king. Oh, sure. There are things more important than employee rights, scab. That's right, little fella. You lot. It's me, Janice's henchman, Bob.

You're bloody late on your payments. You're coming with me down to sewers. Or I'll punch you. I'll punch you right in the bloody throats. I will. Janice's henchman, Bob, is surrounded by three tufts, all that look as if they have some ogre blood in them. Giant.

I say, you know what, my name's Bobby as well. I don't care, Bobby. My name's Bob. Now you've got some money to pay us in the sewers. So I can tell that Friso's going to puss out and not go into the sewers with us, so tell that Friso's going to puss out and not go into the sewers with us. So I grab him in a headlock and I pull the amulet off his neck.

Right. And I take it and I say, thank you, Friso. We'll see you when we get out. Are you going to allow them to do that? Yeah, alright. I'm not going to fight these guys. You don't fight them? Alright. You take the amulet and Friso deciding that you don't want to go into the sewers again because you are...

A germaphobe? A germaphobe wizard. Are you going back to the temple? No, I'll stand guard, I think. Where? Good point. All right, back to the temple it is. All right, and what will happen inside the sewers? Will Janos be as forgiving as his reputation suggests he will definitely not be?

What possible use could Friso have with the temple at this time? And do the magical items work? For the answers to this and more, tune in next time at Dragon Friends. Thank you. This episode of Dragon Friends was DM'd by David Harmon and featured Alex Lee, Simon Greiner and Michael Hing. Our special guests were Tom Walker, Steve Miskopoulos and Carlo Ricci. Our music was provided by, even if you didn't hear it,

our bard Benny Davis. For more info about our upcoming shows, including our Melbourne show at PAX, head to thedragonfriends.com.au. As always, thanks for listening.