Dragon Friends - #1.08. It True, Me Your Nightmare with Tom Walker & The Bear Pack

Episode Date: November 4, 2015

After being reunited with Philge and her half brother Dilge, The Dragon Friends are hired as the security detail for Janos Meer during an important meeting with a rival. Hosted on Acast. See acast.co...m/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 As glory's just beginning, our adventure never ends. The saga of the heroes that they call the Dragon Friends. You make your way down into the sewers. A familiar journey, Bobby, that you have made many times before. To the court of the Beggar King, one of the most established crime lords in Waterdeep and head of the shadowy thieves guild. Janos, of course, sent you on a mission with his off-sider, Clodric, to rob a house of
Starting point is 00:00:33 artifice and to bring back an amulet from that house. Since then, you have gone shopping, enjoyed a coffee, had an argument with a group of uptown hobgoblins And at last you were back to repay your debts When you arrive at the court You can see that Janos has not enjoyed waiting for you And indeed is already in a foul mood Well, well, well If it isn't Bobby's shit debts
Starting point is 00:01:04 Come to pay me back me money, Bobby foul mood. Well, well, well. If it isn't Bobby Shitdex. Come to pay me back me money, Bobby. I think we're square, oh, beggar king, in terms of our debts, money-wise, but I come bearing good news and the amulet you requested. Yeah, the amulet I requested for last night. It's almost
Starting point is 00:01:22 one of the clock right now. I could have been doing a shit all morning But I've been waiting here for you. I'm clogged up Bobby. I'm bloody angry I'm super sorry, but feel free to release your bowels right now Shut it Bobby Your apologies your your bloody... I don't want them. I want bloody results.
Starting point is 00:01:47 And an amulet. I want amulet, and then I'm going to get some results. I hand him the amulet. You hand him the amulet. All right, so Janos looks at the amulet, sniffs it once, because for some reason that's something that he does. Cardamon.
Starting point is 00:02:02 And passes it to an off-sider who ferrets it away into the labyrinthine building behind him, underground building, that is there, is a sentence I just said. Great, says Janos, and all we have to do is get Clodric to, hang on, where's Clodric? Yeah, I don't know, he just left. Clodrick to hang on. Where's Clodrick? Yeah, I don't know. He just left. Clodrick left? Yeah. We had to, like, hot foot it pretty fast out of there.
Starting point is 00:02:32 And then it turned around, he wasn't there anymore. Clodrick, punctual Clodrick. Clodrick, never late Clodrick. Clodrick, always around Clodrick. Left at the best point of time. You know what, actually? He spied a chubby little halfling, and I believe he followed him down an alleyway.
Starting point is 00:02:50 So who knows? Knowing his predilections, he could be there for a good half day still. Well, I'll have one of my boys look into it. Hang on, no, hang on. Make a deception check for that. But that's pretty reasonable because he does love... We'll call it 15.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Yeah, but we cut all that out of the podcast. Yeah, you edited out all of that for the podcast. Yeah, no one knows about all that weird stuff. Everyone thinks that was your joke. Yeah, that's why that was that stunned silence. Cool. Just to be clear for anybody who
Starting point is 00:03:19 happens to be here today, they are yeah sorry Dave you know what it doesn't really matter this is all nonsense what did you get five of five he's not buying it Clodrick Clodrick famous lover of tall beeper Clodrick Clodrick famous lover of giants Clodrick Where is he Bobby Where is he Bobby shit lies
Starting point is 00:03:53 You're gonna have to come clean He's killed by a robot I don't know what a robot is Oh uh A glitter man like Killed him A glitter man like, killed him. A glitter man killed him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Well, well, well, well. Janos, or did he have more? No, no, but he's gone. Janos is, if he was irritated before, he is positively irate now. However, he is a reasonable man and he's willing to give you one last chance to redeem yourselves. Probably because of the fact that Clodrick was a bit of a creep anyway. Yeah. I mean, I don't know why you're so upset about Clodrick. I mean, granted he was one of your workers, but he was...
Starting point is 00:04:40 He owed me a nude painting. Oh, I can do a nude painting for you. Well, that is nice of you to offer. Hey, it would be my pleasure. Me happy to pose. But I have another thing that I need to... I start taking off my clothes. Sister, no! I had Clodrick on a job for me.
Starting point is 00:05:02 A very important job. And you're going to have to fill in for him now, Bobby Late Dicks. Most of his nicknames for you just seem to be changing your surname. It's pronounced pancakes. I ate pancakes for breakfast, Bobby. Janos goes on to explain that he is in the middle of a turf war with a... You're quite all right, Simon? Someone said, after I eat pancakes for breakfast,
Starting point is 00:05:33 Simon will be out of commission for a few hours. Because it's a breakfast food. Oh, mercy. Janice explains that he is in the middle of a turf war with another crime lord, this time a dwarf who works out of the ship line, which you obviously know, and a member of an illegal guild called the Shipwrights. He is meeting with this crime lord, who is a man named Albrecht Rumsfeld, that night. That could be a fantasy name. Something funny pancakes.
Starting point is 00:06:08 No. Nothing, sir. And he is going to need your help. In fact, you're going to need to be his help because this is maybe one of the only ways in which you can keep your heads. The whole place is likely to be trapped. I need someone to go scope it out for me.
Starting point is 00:06:23 I don't want to be walking into a bloody trap. I walked into a trap once, got me eyes cut out. Then what happened? Magic spell brought him back. Alright, but I ain't never walking into a trap again. You're going to go there, you're going to scope the place out. Watch over things. And to make sure that you don't skip town, he's not letting you out of his sight until then. So you spend the rest of the afternoon confined to the court of the Beggar King. You have access to, you know, the sort of surrounds of where he lives,
Starting point is 00:06:58 but he's not letting you outside. You can go anywhere you want in my house. What's that? You can go anywhere you want in here. Oh, cool. You seem to have an interest in art. Do you have a collection of art? Yeah, what's it to you, Bobby? Well, I'm a painter myself,
Starting point is 00:07:12 and so I'd love to see it if you could show us around your collection. Well, no one's ever... Yeah, you're all right. He takes you down a sewer, let's call it what it is um where he has hung various paintings um laid out some sculptures from local sculptors that he admires i'm very keen on provenance i try and only acquire art from within 100 k's of water deep i'm very committed to the art scene i said we need an art skill. But they
Starting point is 00:07:45 said no. So, you know, this is a painting of a dragon. Yeah, with a big dick. Yeah. Oh, that one was... Ooh, dick follow you round room. A lot of the... That how you tell it good dragon dick painting. That how you tell it good dragon dick painting. Bobby, as an appreciator of art,
Starting point is 00:08:13 you find most of this stuff to be pretty obvious, tacky and not very good, but he's obviously very proud of his collection. And this is me pride and joy. A white painting with a picture of a little kid on a bridge flying a kite. Look at it. It's just so peaceful, so serene. It makes me think, you know what, maybe I shouldn't string people up in the sewers, let them drown and shit. Maybe I shouldn't string people up in the sewers, let them drown and shit. Maybe I shouldn't cut people's faces so they don't cheat me on bloody cards. When I look at this painting I think I could be anything. I could even be a baker.
Starting point is 00:08:56 It entirely white canvas. No one was asking you to... This is bloody art. You see what you want? Get out of me gallery. Get out. Especially you sloppy hard jakes. I'm sorry for my friend, but it's truly a beautiful collection. You really think so? I do, with all my heart. Wow.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Thanks, Bobby. Pfft. Pancakes? And I think we can go ahead and say that you have improved your reputation with the Thieves' Guild. Congratulations. That night, you are escorted by some of the enforcers of some of the Beggar King's men back to the ship line to a sort of open area of the docks where a deal might go down, where there's not too many places to hide, where everything's a bit out in the open. There are two large warehouses on either side of what is really essentially a small courtyard, alleyways leading from both sides into it, and there are boxes and crates that have been taken by stevedores off ships and put on the docks that are waiting to be ferreted away into the city. The sun is already setting and one of the Beggar King's off-siders, a
Starting point is 00:10:29 man called Byron, tells you that they are expecting Rumsfeld in about 30 minutes. In about 30 minutes, this guy called Rumsfeld's going to come. Byron is a terrifyingly intimidating half-orc berserker with a scar splitting his face in half. So if you just wait here, it should be about 30 or so, if that's okay with you guys. Do you guys want some bread while you wait? Yeah, I'll have some.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Yeah. Okay. We want bread. Well, there's some sourdough there, some rye, some pumpernickel, we've got some olive oil, do you want to bring some balsamic as well? Did me ever tell you about me relationship with bread? Byron lays out the plan very quickly before you can continue and explains that he now has to
Starting point is 00:11:28 leave the courtyard and in fact will be returning with four other lieutenants of the beggar king as part of their delegation. They will be meeting at the seventh bell with Rumsfeld in order to negotiate a truce for the two have been in a turf war. Now, do you remember what bell I said? Do you remember what bell? Seventh bell. That's correct, yeah. And whereabouts are they meeting? The environs, is it an open
Starting point is 00:11:55 space? As I said, it's a courtyard. There's an alleyway which you've come down. There's another alleyway coming the other way. And we're just being the muscle for Janos. You're hiding. You're here to case out the area and to be added protection. It was made very clear that neither of them were bringing any type of muscle. No one is to be armed. You're there secretly to make sure that nothing happens.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Okay, I have a plan. I take out my rod, is it called a stationary rod? An immovable rod. An immovable rod. Really thought you were going to go with the invisibility dust, but go for it. No, I'll say... No, no, your plan's better. What I will do is... We hide behind a rod!
Starting point is 00:12:34 No, no, no. I will get Filch to... I will hold the rod, I'll have her throw me up in the air, and I will press the button until I'm hovering her throw me up in the air, and I will press the button, and so I'm hovering over the top at a great distance. And then Filge and Dilge will take the invisibility powder
Starting point is 00:12:51 and have that to cloak them. All right, that's excellent. How will you get down? I'll press the button and I'll, like, oh, you fall! All right, excellent. Well, why don't you just make for me... We'll just say that throwing a halfling is easy for an orc, so we'll say it's DC 10.
Starting point is 00:13:11 But tell me how many points you beat DC 10 by in a strength check, a straight strength check. Right before rolling? Can we help? This is an opportunity for us to kind of bond. Can I help? You can help, so you can roll two dice filled and tell me the highest and add four to it. The highest is eight, so you can roll two dice, Filge, and tell me the highest, and add four to it.
Starting point is 00:13:25 The highest is eight, so it's twelve. Oh, okay, that's not a great throw. So they throw you once, and you make it about six feet up in the air. We just not have same chemistry as old times. And you press the button, so the system works. You happy to just... No, I'll say, hey guys, let's try this again. I'll, uh, Dilj, if you could catch me, and why system works. You're happy to just... No, I'll say, hey, guys, let's try this again. I'll...
Starting point is 00:13:45 Dilj, if you could catch me. And why don't we try this one more time? So we roll again. I'm going to let you guys do it one more time. However, you don't have very long before they arrive, so this is pretty much what you get. Yes, 18. 18.
Starting point is 00:13:57 All right, great. So you get... Just like old day when we'd throw halfling into a cliff together. Huh? You get about... They imagine they clear you about 13 feet up into the air. You're up in the shadows next to one of the
Starting point is 00:14:10 two warehouses that are overlooking this courtyard, and you are basically clinging onto a giant rod that is connected to nothing hovering at that distance. What about the rest of you? What are you guys going to do? This makes Dilj feel alive. This feels good.
Starting point is 00:14:26 Dilj been living pretty safely till now, Filj. It time you live. You live barbarian like me. Literally like two minutes before they get here. Okay. We bond later. Oh, wait. Oh, you have the powder already.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Oh, I have the powder. Okay. Ready? I don't know. I can't read instructions. Oh, sister. the powder. Okay. Ready? I don't know. I can't read instructions. Oh, sister. Let Wizard Dilge do this. And I'm going to roll to comprehend how I use the
Starting point is 00:14:51 powder. Alright. Okay. It's very easy because you're a wizard. It's a four. You think you eat it. Yep. Ah, sister. It's simple. Like all powders, this best eaten. Please.
Starting point is 00:15:10 We shove it in our mouths. Yep. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. We invisible now. Can you just very quickly make for me, again, an easy insight check field to realise that you're not invisible. I rolled another four!
Starting point is 00:15:27 I rolled another four! Ah, I got a 19. Okay, Filge, you think something's wrong and you try to convince Dilj that he has used the powder wrong. However, Dilj, you double down that this is correct and that you can only see each other because you're both invisible.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Filge, me not lie to you. Me never lie to you. We invisible. But me see own hands. Yes, you see own hands. Me see you hands. Me see you because we blood. Oh. So you both just freeze in the middle of the courtyard? Is that what you're gonna do? Yeah. What are you gonna do you're going to do? Yeah. What are you going to do? What would you do? Bilge is really pumped up.
Starting point is 00:16:09 He thinks he's nailed it with his eating the powder thing. So we could just stand in the middle of the courtyard. Yeah, we make no effort to hide and stand in clear sight. And we're like super casual because we're so confident. Guys, I can still see you guys. Oh, you invisible too. Incredible. I just think it'd be best just for the two guys here, to see you guys. Oh, you invisible too! Incredible! I just think it'd be best
Starting point is 00:16:27 just for the two guys here to hide behind that wall of the courtyard. I don't know if you guys want to. I'm trying to... Sure. If it make you feel better. If it make you feel better for dum-dum
Starting point is 00:16:43 we go hide behind wall. Alright, you guys make self-checks. You're both so cocky that this is unnecessary. I'm going to make them at disadvantage. So both of you roll two dice and tell me the lowest. Both roll two? And then tell me the lowest and check it against your stealth. And because it's nice, this is moderate, so 15. I rolled a three and a one. I rolled a 20 and a four. I rolled a 20 and a four.
Starting point is 00:17:05 You rolled a 20, congratulations, natural 20. All right. I'm yet to roll out of the single digits. At Comic-Con they clapped us when we got a 20. Yeah, thanks. If only every day were Comic-Con. The two of you slip behind boxes and even as you do, Byron races back and signals.
Starting point is 00:17:24 And soon he is joined by two other terribly intimidating but strangely falsetto-voiced henchmen and Janos. Janos, of course, you recognise, but far more interesting to you is the other alleyway where you see not humans but dwarves, tough stevedore dwarves coming down the alley towards you. In front of them is a dwarf with a fine, beautiful black beard and an ostentatious hat, a sort of floppy kind of... Is that a Saturday hat? Probably got from a hat shop!
Starting point is 00:17:56 It's like a kind of Venetian hat, if you knew in the magical world of Faerun what Venetian was. It's a sort of floppy hat and very expensive tailored leather clothes. This is a figure that you assume must be the head of the shipwrights Albrecht Rumsfeld who even now calls out to Janus. Well, well, well. Well, well, well. Well, well, well. Well, well, well. Well, well, well. Well, well, well.
Starting point is 00:18:26 This continues for some time. All right then, Albert. Hello there, Janice. Or should I call you Fuck Goblin? You've some nerve there, Albert, coming into this alley, calling me a fuck goblin,
Starting point is 00:18:43 when you well know that my mother was killed by a fuck goblin. I don't want to have to put up with your shit today Albert. I came here to talk terms. None of me boys have got weapons. None of yours have either right? I'm a man of me word am I not? Or a dwarf of my dwarf? Yeah, it checks out, I guess. Alright, so we talking this? While they begin to talk terms, can the three of you
Starting point is 00:19:14 make a perception check for me at DC 15? That is a two. Is that a four, a four, and a two? So far, if you count the disadvantage dice I rolled, it's four, three, four, two. Is that a four, a four, and a two? So far, if you count the disadvantage dice I rolled, it's four, three, four, two.
Starting point is 00:19:30 What an asset. I got six. Yep. And I got one. Alright. Do I get a luck thing? Whenever you roll a one, you get to roll again. Sweet balls. Twenty! Hooray! That is Do I get it? I've got a luck thing. So if I do it whenever you roll the one you get to roll again
Starting point is 00:19:51 That is that is some turnaround luck All right, you said you do nasty build and dill The two the two of you just nailing this invisible hiding behind a box Thing just enjoying yourself so much and really getting into the one-upmanship of the fight that you are completely just enthralled you've forgotten the Bobby's above you and You're just having great fun watching sort of you know, a true crime Thriller play out in front of you me not believe this this just like in novel me read one time What novel me try to make time to read it? mmm It's why bring up if can't remember name of novel?
Starting point is 00:20:26 I remember name of novel, it's just you put me on spot What last novel you read? Why are you, why are you always like this? Why are you so good for a little while? Then we argue Bobby, however, you Classic Viljan Bilj Not so easily impressed by Half-Orc Book Club.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Notice, instead, you suddenly see a movement in a window in the warehouse opposite you and a glint of moonlight on silver. And you realize in that instance that what you see is a figure, a humanoid figure, with a crossbow, even now, sighting the distance towards Janice. I draw my short bow. Okay, you are hanging. Oh, no, I'm sitting on it like a trapeze swing. Like a cat.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Yeah, like a trapeze swing. I'm sitting on it. It's like a rod, right? I'm a long guy. Yeah. So I draw my bow, and is it glass? Is it open. It's like a rod, right? I'm a long guy. Yeah. So I draw my bow and I... Is it glass? Is it open?
Starting point is 00:21:28 Is it... It's not glass. I don't think glass exists. It's like open. You're fine. Oh yeah. I shoot that motherfucker. All right.
Starting point is 00:21:36 Excellent. Well then, go ahead and this is a sneak attack. You get to add your bonus dice. Eleven plus... Something? Anyway, me reading sisterhood of traveling pantaloons wow me hear that good me reading the bone sundials 11 plus 4 is that right or plus 5 isn't it is plus 5 your attack? Oh. We did this three days ago. Which one's attack?
Starting point is 00:22:09 I'm going to, it's plus five. I'm going to throw you a bone. All right, you, yeah, so that is enough. And then d6 plus three. 2d6 plus three. Oh, 2d6 plus three, okay. We've been doing this for months. So if you're all those two.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Okay. Oh, six plus three. 11 points of damage. Suddenly, everybody spins up as they hear the unmistakable sound of an arrow flying through the air. Albrecht, you look around just in time to see a halfling perched probably against a wall,
Starting point is 00:22:41 firing an arrow at where you know you have one of your own assassins stationed, and the arrow hits. You also see an arrow fly above your head and hit somebody that you didn't even notice was there. The two of you really feel like you're getting to grips with this book conversation, and you're both flat-footed. I yell, Janos, it's a trap! I thought we said no assassins. I thought you said no traps! They both draw their swords. Yeah This the surprise round is over so Bobby you're next
Starting point is 00:23:19 so I Yelled out. I draw my bow and and you've already've already drawn your bow. Okay, I knock an arrow and have it pointed at Rumsfeld. And I'm like, and I yell to Janos, I've got you covered, Albrecht Rumsfeld. One foul move and I'll pierce your heart with this true arrow straight into your guts. Did you say pal move? Thanks, pal. Are you going to delay your action until he
Starting point is 00:23:45 does something, or are you... Back away! Back away! Go back down your alley with your men, or you will cop it. Great, so that is a delayed action, which means that you can decide, depending on what he does later or not, to fire that arrow. Freezer's not even here,
Starting point is 00:24:01 so we go up to Rumsfeld, you're next. I look directly up to Rumsfeld, you're next. I look directly up at him and say, cop what, cop what? Yours. And I say back, this flinty arrow in your eye, step off Rumsfeld, Take your men and retreat. Okay we're gonna call this an intimidation check to see... yes. Wow okay. Intimidation checks!
Starting point is 00:24:36 You are a tiny halfling. He is the famed terror of the ship line. So this is a hard check. DC 20. However you are fucking flying against a wall and he didn't know you were there so you have advantage So to rock to dice you need to be 20 you add your charisma modifier 14 plus 14 plus 3 3 17 17 not enough rumsfeld laughs in your face Three. Three. Seventeen. Seventeen.
Starting point is 00:25:02 Not enough. Rumsfeld laughs in your face. Ha ha ha ha ha! Wait, Filch! We stopped talking about book clubs! Something funny happening! Rumsfeld, it's your action. You could...
Starting point is 00:25:14 You have... Now, you have a scimitar, you have a bandolier of throwing knives, you also know that you have assassins in the window. I throw all my weapons down and I say, Come fight me like a man. And I yell back, don't you dare call me a man.
Starting point is 00:25:31 I am Halfling! And I fire the arrow at him. Yep. That's a six. You scream, barrelling your chest, and you fire an arrow which lands not even close. Like, if anything, you almost hit Janice. I'm sorry!
Starting point is 00:25:53 Janice, it's your action. Oh, enough of this! I'm going to stab Albright. Right, you go for a stab, attack. It is a 15, plus my bonuses. Which is plus 5 which means that that hits. So you take damage, you take 58 plus 2. Dice dice dice dice dice dice dice dice dice dice dice dice dice dice dice dice
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Starting point is 00:27:09 Four, two, and two. Okay, so eight plus three is 11 points of damage. Again, Albrecht, you are bombarded by little missiles, as you see, running out naked for some reason. Me invisible. Where me coming from? Missiles from air? It drew me your nightmare.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Before you have time to even process this, magical darts are flying from his hands, bombarding you as you take a serious hit. You are bloodied and now starting to look in serious damage. The next up is Filge. I run over to him on the ground and I put my foot on his neck. He's not on the ground. What? I kick him over and then I put my foot on his neck.
Starting point is 00:27:58 You're going to bull rush him. Great. Make an attack. Alright, I got 15. 15 plus 5. This is a bull rush. This is to tackle him to the ground. That is enough. So you find the dwarf. You charge, and suddenly another presumably naked, yep, orc, charges out from behind the boxes and crashes into you in a tackle,
Starting point is 00:28:19 slamming you onto the ground. You go prone. And next up is the assassin, who has finally dealt with the fact that the crossbow bolt is in, and takes careful aim and hits for... Did I not hit him? You did, but you didn't kill him.
Starting point is 00:28:37 Five, you take a quill suddenly to the neck. Oh, my bloody neck! Five damage, and you start immediately feeling like your joints are locking up. Oh, not me bloody arms. Next up is again, now it's Bobby's turn. Um, I yell out, catch me! And I um, leap from above, I press the button and release and land in the arms of Filch. Okay, Filch is crash tackling someone to the ground. You are now falling 18 feet from a rod yelling, catch me.
Starting point is 00:29:16 That's fine. So can I roll, I guess I roll a perception check to notice him and then a strength check to catch him? You can. Okay. All right, so the perception is easy because he's just shouted. It's an eight?
Starting point is 00:29:27 Yes, you did. Congratulations, Dilchis. Pass the dice roll. And it's a dexterity check to catch him. Okay. I roll a two. All right. Four.
Starting point is 00:29:41 He got four. Okay, he misses you, and for the first ten feet, a fine, and for the first ten feet a fine and for the second ten feet you take... I... as I almost hit the ground I press the button again and stall myself. And then... Make a dexterity check. Ten. Five plus three dexterity.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Eight. You press the button just as you hit the ground and you take four hit points of damage. So that was a very good idea. Less points for Dilj, who forgot that he has the Featherfall spell, but what are you going to do? Me in heat of moment. Me invisible.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Can I keep doing something? Yes, you can. We'll call that a rolling... So you're near them? A rolling go. I grab one of the healing potions and pass it to Janos so that he's well enough to get out of here as best he can.
Starting point is 00:30:34 So you're just passing him an up and go? No, it's a healing potion. Like in the middle of combat. This guy has my nuts in a vice at the moment and the best that I can get him out of here is our best ticket of... OK, you throw a healing potion to Janos. Janos tries to swing, but his arms are both paralysed. The potion just sort of smacks him in the chest. Bobby Sweetcakes, you've bloody done it again!
Starting point is 00:30:59 Fortunately, the liquid from the potion drips into the hole in his chest that it has hit him just above. You have to drink healing potions. They're potions. Simon's just been rubbing Panadol on his chest the whole time. Quickly, Rumsfeld. You are now staggered, as I said, bleeding and in serious pain. I spit blood out of my mouth.
Starting point is 00:31:20 I remain locked with my eyes against Pancake. You are pinned to the ground by an angry naked orc. Yeah, that's fine. I don't care. Locked eyes with Mr. Pancake. And I still say, fight me like a man. Okay. Next up is Janos.
Starting point is 00:31:41 I'm going to roll a dexterity check to see if I can grasp this potion that's falling down my body. Why don't you first of all make a constitution check to see if you can overcome the poison. Alright, let's do that. It is a two. So you are still, you are stiffening and stiffening as you go. So yes, a dexterity is hard to grab a potion. It is a four. Alright, you sm- the potion smashes, wasted.
Starting point is 00:32:01 Oh, oh shit! And you stagger back out of the, as far out of the way. You start staggering, slowing down as you go, as you try and make your way to your main. I'll get you for this, Albrecht, you shit. Next up is the assassin who is already knocking another arrow into the crossbow, firing it at Janos and rolls a one.
Starting point is 00:32:22 So the string breaks probably and you have a precious amount of time left. Bobby, it's your turn. I fire an arrow at the assassin. That's 19 plus five. Oh sorry, it's not Bobby, I forgot. Oh, ballsack. Dilj.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Was that the best roll you've done? Pretty much. All right, yeah Dilj. Dilj. I notice the, Dilj notices thej. Uh, I notice the... Dilj notices the, uh, the chink of light in the window that is the assassin. Totally. Yeah, and I go,
Starting point is 00:32:51 It worked before! And I magic missile it. Yeah, this is your last spell slot, so go ahead, roll those dice one more time. This all Dilj have? And... Two, one, one. Two, one, one. Alright, that's not a lot.
Starting point is 00:33:04 Plus, uh... Plus one. And 2-1-1. All right, that's not a lot. You do six damage, so the assassin feels it, but is not at all intimidated. Except fortunately, his string bow has snapped, apparently. In fact, he's more put out by the crossbow, let's be brutally honest. Me, the invisible terror that dare not speak it name. Phil! Me say, me the voice from nowhere me God me tell you call off your men and then I like once again you are now this we will call this
Starting point is 00:33:37 a flat intimidation check you because although you know everything that's been going on you are being held down by an angry, sweaty, naked half-orc who thinks that they're invisible. So there's a lot to be scared of here. So what you have to do for me is just make, this is a moderate, no, this is an intimidation check. Yeah, so Alex, and then you can add your charisma to it. All right, so I have.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Oh, no, you can add your strength because you're an orc. 20. Another 20, alright? If anybody doesn't believe these 20s are happening, just come up and have a little look. Yeah, that's what this needs. Just line up in an orderly fashion, one by one. It all makes this better.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Step right up, step right up. I'm excited. See the natural 20 in its little box. Everyone come up and have a bloody squiz at this dice. Because I'll tell you, it's nothing you can make at home. Very well. James. Billy. Tony.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Chris. Tony 2. Tony Junior. Tony Senior. Mark. Matheson, Mary, Barnard, Barnadette, Brutus, Caesar, Lifton, T, Fallback, Fallback. An impossible number of dwarves. It didn't seem to do anything during that fight help their wounded boss back as he gets to the safety of the alleyway while Byron and Janice's men dive forward and help their distressed leader.
Starting point is 00:35:19 As Albrecht is in the safety of the alley, he turns and looks at the three of you, particularly you, Bobby, points his finger at you and says... He's not who he says he is. Oh, yeah? Then who is he? Come here and fight like a man. Come here and fight like a man. Let's go, boys. Yeah! Let's go.
Starting point is 00:35:50 I thought so. Yeah, you taught that one, boss. And in years to come, the men that were present at this exchange of what would become known as the ship line betrayal and the start of the great dock wars of Waterdeep would agree that this was a confusing and somewhat anticlimactic way for the battle to end. Thank you very much, that's Dragon Friends. The Dragon Friends are Alex Lee, Michael Hing and Simon Greiner in a DM by Dave Harmon with
Starting point is 00:36:19 NPC voices by Ben Jenkins. Shakira Khan designs our website. The podcast is mixed and edited by Ben and recorded live at Giant Dwarf Theatre with music and live accompaniment by Benny Davis.

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