Dragon Friends - #1.09. Big Mistake. HUGE Mistake with Tom Walker

Episode Date: November 15, 2015

The Dragon Friends are sent to infiltrate the shadowy cult running Waterdeep, but first they are going to need a disguise. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As glory's just beginning, our adventure never ends. The saga of the heroes that they call the Dragon Friends. The rain is heavy and carries the sting of salt in it as you make your way out of the ship line. You are escorting Janos Myr, the beggar king of Waterdeep, away from the docks and to the safety of his sewer home. the beggar king of Waterdeep, away from the docks and to the safety of his sewer home. Janus paid you to ensure his safety tonight and the black barbed crossbow bolt lodged below his shoulder is proof that you could have done a better job of it.

But the fact that he is alive at all means something and bizarrely the beggar king seems to be in a good mood. Oh, this is great. It's like old times. You're there. You're there. Got a narrow in me shoulder. I think I'm dying. The ambush tonight means that the grim animosity between Janus' organization and the Shipwrights Guild has finally tipped over into outright war.

That the Shipwrights would be this bold means that they must have found powerful and wealthy new friends and copper pieces to platinum say that those new friends would be found in Waterdeep's newest guild, the House of the Artificers. You guys remember that house? Robots. Yeah, I mean, that just doesn't...

I hate that word. I think we had this conversation last time. Robots? That's it, robots. Robots. Is that Janos? Robots? It's all going hazy.

I'm saying all the words I know. Robots. Swords. Pants. Arrow. Filch! You manage to get Janos back to his hideout beneath the city, but not before he has lost a lot of blood

and has started ranting, apparently. With Janice's primary healer, Clodric, still missing, there is no one to immediately treat him. So it is decided that he needs to be taken to one of the city's temples. So Filch and Bobby, you take him to the only temple that you know, just outside the guild's entrance inside the cities, where you are greeted at the door by a hire wearing four pairs of sunglasses and a baker's costume. Hey, Friso.

Hey, wow, he's really hurt. Oh, yeah. Look at this. And then he wiggles the arrow and more blood comes out. Ooh, how he do it. Well, well, well, looks like I have something you want. Which is? The Temple of Mystery is of course a charitable organisation, but go on.

Access to this charitable temple. And you have something I want. Which is that arrow. Oh, you drive a hard bargain, you big wizard. Yeah, I accept your terms. Excellent. I will bring you in as I have the authority to do. And having brought you in here, healers, come and heal this man.

Friso claps his hand twice and two rather irritated temple acolytes appear. Okay, you know it's my break. You know this is my downtime when I sit there and I think, like, oh, what could I do? Maybe I could read a book or do some study. Like, this is Hans' time. What is this, Downtime Abbey? That got a mixture of... That was a groan followed by a sympathy laugh.

And then, like, Hans just stares at you and then he's like, Oh, wait. That's quite funny. Okay, let's get him patched up. They whisk Janos away, but before he goes, he has one last lucid moment and he grips Bobby's shoulder. Ow! Bobby!

Ow! You saved my life, Matt. Sorry, can I just stop? Is that Bobby's... What is that? Oh, it's a cat in the background. No, he's gripping my shoulder so hard. Oh, but is that Bobby's voice now?

Is that... No, he just... Ow. He got hurt. All right, all right, all right. I grip your shoulder. What? I grip your shoulder.

Ow. It's like Earthworm Jim. So are we both gripping Bobby's shoulder? I'm just doing it because I like the noise that it makes. Bobby, you saved my life. Ow! Come here. Ow!

You've always been like a son to me, Bobby. Ow! I'm sorry about all the names I called you. Bobby's shit dick. Ow! Bobby's shit lies. Ow! Bob, Bobby. Bobby handshakes. I lies. Ow. Bob, Bobby.

Bobby handshakes. I've not got much time, Bobby. You've done me many a great service. Now it's my opportunity to do one for you. You've been on the run for a murder you didn't commit. There's a lady. She's a grand inquisitor. And I know where she is.

If you find her, maybe you could convince her to clear your name. Janos. No, I'm fine. It's an unrelated ailment. She's got sort of a cough before the fight. Hans, what's your diagnosis of this? Okay, he's got like an arrow in his shoulder and he's got like the sniffles.

And like if I'm thinking, I treat the arrow first and then the sniffles. Yeah, that seems like a good way. Hans is an expert of triage. Yeah, yeah. Like Dr. ABC, danger, yeah, I treat the, yeah, good. Dr. Arrow, danger. Dr. Danger.

Arrow. Arrow. Big cough So he's got the arrow and then the big cough So I choose the arrow first Anyway Now listen I was not I was not aware that everyone else Was still in the room

There's going to be a meeting A meeting tonight of a shady cult that I can only hint at the possibilities of their power and water deep. It goes well beyond my petty station, but I know where they're meeting and I know how you can get in. Go to the sewers, see

my quartermaster, he'll tell you what to do. And then he falls asleep and he's like, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh. Janos is already being dragged into the inner cloisters of the temple where presumably

he will receive the treatment that befits a man of his station and power before that can we go through his pockets

you can try Hans and Hans' friend Ulrich are still there Hans do you want to take a break for a bit? Oh my goodness, I do. Okay.

Come on, Ulrich. Finish your cigarettes. Uh-huh. And I will mind this body for a bit. It's a filthy habit. Leads to a lot of BC. That's big coughing. Okay, convincing Hans to leave the passed out beggar king of Waterdeep

at the foot door of the temple is definitely a bluff test. I'm going to call it a challenging bluff test. So that is DC 15. 17. Nailed it. All right. So what do I find in his pockets, DM? Hans leaves and inside, well, you can take the arrow that you had your eye on for a start. Are we taking it out right now?

Yeah, I'm breaking it off. What? If you break it off, it'll be much harder for the next round. Alright, I'll rip it out then. I think in many ways that's worse. I think in many ways that's worse. You're asleep. Inside his pockets you find 2D6 gold pieces, you find 11 gold pieces.

Excellent. 2d6 gold pieces you find 11 gold pieces excellent and you also find a tin whistle that looks to be of extreme sentimental but trivial Financial value I take them both all right All right I read as you can write tin whistle with love your father inscribed on it and as you leave the temple you hear like a croak From him being like you're gonna be okay Janos you've got your lucky whistle temple, you hear like a croak from him being like, you're going to be okay, Janos. You've got your lucky whistle.

And then you hear like, like as he's patting, you go, no! And even the birds sort of ruffle that are sitting on top of the temple by the sound of agony that comes out of this grown man's chest. You, having killed another person's dreams, make your way down to meet the quartermaster, presumably? Yeah. Head on down. All right.

The four of you for Dilj, you still have nothing better to do. Yeah. Dilj's just happy to be out of the house. For those that missed this last month, of course, Dilj is Filj's half-brother, the big city half-orc, who is showing them about town. So there's a picture of him. The four of you make your way down into the court of the Beggar King,

the first place that you arrived in Waterdeep, and a bustling... Get your way! Hats! Hats, hats, hats! Don't do it again. Minus bread in all of Waterdeep! I swear to God! Cry bread!

A place that we have been many times before. Making your way into the building, you find yourselves in the quartermastery of the Beggar King, a place which is ruled over by a surprisingly litigious goblin who you have recognised. And he looks up and he's like, Oh, fuck! And he, like, kind of just shrinks.

Is that little Gribblers? Gribblers! Oh, Gribb-Gob! Gribb-Gob! Glab-Glue! Gribb-Bibs! Oh, Little Glab-A-Blu! Okay, it's Gribbins, and it's actually Gribbits, but...

Oh, Gribble-Grab-Groove! Oh, my God, I didn't think I'd ever see you guys again I thought you'd left Well, what do you mean you thought we'd left? You left us to try and get through the gates by ourselves Without our lawyer's help Yeah, well You were sworn to protect us, by us

No, I wasn't Look, um, oh okay, it's you guys You said some people might be around Okay, is this about the meeting tonight? Yeah, what's the deal? Okay, sweet as, cool, talking's you guys. You said some people might be around. Okay, is this about the meeting tonight? Yeah, what's the deal? Okay, sweet as. Cool, talking to you guys again. Awesome.

Hey, look. So there's this cult in town. The Glitter Men. That stuff by the docks. It all flows back to them. And, well, you can infiltrate them tonight if you want. And, I don't know, I think Janos had some plan to affix this somewhere and he takes out of a drawer this kind of like half, this hemisphere,

this gold-looking hemisphere with sort of clockwork inside of it and he sort of hands it to him, to Friso. Actually, Friso, do you want to actually quickly make, just for me, an arcana check? This is just a moderate arcana check. I got 12. What is that? That'll do. Excellent.

All right, so you recognise... To see if you can understand what the magical thing is. So what is it? This is quite a common magical item. It's just called a whisperer, and the way it works is you wind it up and then for the next two days, it records everything that

is said in your shot and then if you retrieve it you can have it play back. Like what Hugh Grant used in, uh, to not important. No, keep going. In the British phone hacking scandal of several years ago when he had that spy pen.

Hey guys. Yes, just like that. We just literally just kind of fantasy the tape recorder and your thing for a tape recorder. But just something that records sound. You're on a podcast right now. You're on a podcast

and you work in radio. Yeah, you also work in radio. Because he's got a little pen in his pocket and it records things. It's Hugh Grant. He was also in Four Ways and a Funeral. Are you getting Hugh Grant confused with James Bond? No.

Hugh Grant is an actor. James Bond is a spy, which is a type of actor. I just want to get to the bottom of this Hugh Grant character. When you're on television, which you are frequently, and they've recorded your voice to go on television, do you think Hugh Grant is sitting in the studio with you with a pen in his pocket? That's the only way to record.

Yeah. Okay. It's a very wasteful system they've got at the agency. Dave, can I also roll to comprehend what it is? Absolutely. So for you, because you are... I have failed. All right.

He hands him a golden pill, which you think makes it easier to listen to things. Mmm. Filch thinks I got this under control. He hands him a golden pill which you think makes it easier to listen to things. Mmmmm. Okay, oh- Filch think I got this under control. Hey, super donita! Okay. Hey, Gribbons. Um, what's the plan? Why are we doing all of this? Okay, look. Janos reckons that if he can understand the inner workings of this cold a little bit better he can bring them down, but before that he needs information.

The plan is to just go in there, put the whisperer in there, get out as soon as you can, and we'll be sweet. I think there's somebody in there too. A person who thinks you murdered people, which actually in retrospect I think you might have. When you say we, does that mean you're coming with us, Gribbles? Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

And Gribbets actually takes out, because he's in an inventory room, takes out two sets of handcuffs and handcuffs his arm and his foot to the desk. Can I pick up the desk? Yeah. It's a pretty heavy oak desk. It's a heavy oak desk. There's DC 20.

Oh, yeah. I'm not going to make it much more challenging because Gribbets doesn't weigh very much. I've got to roll a perfect 20. Add your strength modifier. You've got plus four strength. 18. 18 plus four, 22. Yes!

Okay. Everybody is silent as Gribbets' pathetic gesture to handcuff himself to the desk is made. Without blinking while staring him down, Filge rests both hands on the desk and pulls it out of... It's, like, secured to the ground, but snaps the feet of it like twigs and then places the desk on her shoulder,

leaving Gribbets' 90-degree angle chained to the desk. No, but then I change my mind and I put, I strapped the table to my front so it's like a little baby carrier and I rope it around my chest. Do you have some rope? I got some rope you can borrow. Yeah, I'll borrow that rope. Thanks.

Oh, great. I tie it around and then I give him a little kiss on top of the head. Okay, I am going to make you, for the rest of the adventure, as long as you have gribbets in your baby carrier, roll disadvantage to combat and all feats of dexterity, but if you're happy with that

you now have a small goblin lawyer strapped to your chest. Congratulations. Also, the benefits of it are goblin shield. I imagine you look kind of like Krang. Sorry. Well, we are in the sewers like Krang. Sorry. Well, we are in the sewers.

So Krang is from an age in the mid-90s, similar to Hugh Grant's popularity. He's a villain in the Ninja Turtle franchise, Danny. We had a conversation to you just before this. What was it? I'm sorry. I guess. Keep going.

All right, let's go. We go see Colt. Okay, as you make your way A reluctant Gribbets Oh, actually How does Gribbets react to all of this? Oh, this is great This is so

Gosh, this is just Oh, and on my And on my 21st birthday Oh, sorry Me Dilj We don't We didn't actually know each other Oh, g'day Dilj

Nice to meet you This is the best Hey This is my baby, Gib Gob. Wow. He's so pleasant, and I give him a little peck on the forehead. I give him a smooch.

I'm getting kissed by a bunch of half-orgs today. Hey, Gribbles, I know we are in a rush, but as it is your birthday, would you like this shiny tin whistle? Oh. Actually, I'd love that. Alright, well if you stay with us for the rest of the thing, you can have it. Alright. What a lucky go-grib-oblin.

So, guys, look, it's not really this simple as just walking into the thing. You're going to need robes, and you're going to need a password. Alright, where do we get these robes and passwords from? Gribbles? Oh God, maybe I should just do everything for you. Well, you're coming anyway, so... Well I know that the robes

made by the artificers, maybe you could go there. Okay. And the password... I don't know the password you psychopath! Password, I don't know, maybe maybe go find someone in town who used to be part of this, talk to somebody. Were you part of it before?

No, they wouldn't let me in. Why not? I have flat feet. Gribbons, for that is his name, regardless of what you insist on calling him, fills you in a little bit more. So there is a cult forming in Waterdeep, and it is a fraternity of many of the guilds that form Waterdeep, both the newest and the oldest,

and they're making a play for power in the city. You've already met the House of the Artificers who are possibly running this cult. Another cult that are providing muscle is our Brecht Rumsfeld Shipwrights Guild, who you have also tangled with. So in order to get in, you're going to need to be able to find a way to get into this meeting, which is happening tonight at High Harvest's Eve

underneath the House of the Artificers. Now, as Gribbets has... I'm doing it now. I'm sorry, Gribbets. Wait, does that mean that Gribbets' birthday is on High Harvest's Eve? Yes. Is that awkward? Does he not get High Harvest's Eve presents?

It's sad because he gets one present for both things. And it's always a tin whistle. Or never a tin whistle. No, so he's told you that you're going to need to get robes from the House of the Artifices to get yourselves in. That convenient? It's just upstairs. Sorry? Who's she talking to?

What are you talking about, Phil? I fall asleep. Sorry, we've taxed her brain too much. And you're also going... Hey, guys. Her head's sort of crushing my head. As long as she doesn't roll over and sleep on her stomach, you'll be fine.

All right, so we go up to the surface. Oh, yeah, and before you go, hey, look, remember that medallion that you stole, the amulet? I still have that, yes. Yeah, great. We'll bring that with us, because that'll make the that you stole? The amulet? I still have that, yes. Yeah, great. Well, bring that with us, because that'll make the costume better, because it's from the cult. All right.

Great. I really now have a... You actually don't have it with you, but I believe... I've got a medallion. You didn't cross it off then. That's my chocolate, mate. Oops, sorry. Now I have a vested interest in at least field surviving,

so I guess I'll help out. Let's go. Happy birthday to you. And nobody joins in. We can sing at the end. It's in the public domain, though, so maybe we should all... So we may go away to these robe designers.

Okay, if you're going to try and get your hands on the robes, obviously there's a couple of ways you could do this. You might have your own ideas. The House of the Artifice is heavily locked down, protected by glitter men on all entrances, but there are also tailors around the city. Hey, Friso, didn't you just go to a costume store and buy

a chef's outfit, a baker's outfit? A baker's outfit, yes. You did, that is true. Why don't we go back there and trade it in for some robes? Yeah. I mean, it's kind of my dream, but all right. No, no, if you think this is more important than my dreams, yeah, you're right. Which dream is it?

The terrifying one or the even more terrifying one? The one where I get to be a baker and then everyone I love dies. All right, let's go. Yeah. Okay, you're going to go to the costume shop. We went to be a baker and then everyone I love dies. Alright, let's go. Yeah. Okay, you're going to go to the costume shop. We went to the, it was like an Outfitters.

It was, yeah, it was like an urban, fantasy urban Outfitters. I remember this. It was General Pantaloons, I believe. Yes, that's right. Going back to General Pantaloons,

I think I remember Steen's character. Yes. Okay, so you head back to General Pantaloons, which is of course a member of the Taylor's Glovers

and Mercer's Guild of Waterdeep. Oh, hey guys, how can I do? How can I help you? Hey, I bought this baker's outfit about a couple of days ago. You're still wearing it, right? This one that I'm wearing right now. That was, like, literally yesterday. Yeah, and as you can see, it is not as flattering as I imagined.

Uh, okay. And you told me, you specifically told me it was going to be a solution to all of my problems. So I certainly imagine you said that. Anyway, do you have anything in a sort of an artifice robe that I could trade this in for? It'd suit every figure. Sorry, you guys are after like artifices robes, like official ones? Yeah. Or like close, like official ones? Yeah. Or like close, just like a cosplay thing.

Oh, yeah. I mean, we have non-official ones, but like, I got to tell you, you can tell the difference. What, you can? Or just like, would a guard be able to tell the difference, do you think? It really depends on what kind of guard. Like a regular guard. It's probably a guard with like non-specific English accent. Probably one of two guards, one of which likes his job and another one which doesn't.

He sounds like a really rich and rewarding character. You'd think that, wouldn't you? What make robes official? Oh, well, I mean, you've got the special material, you've got the special crest, you've got the special stitching. But, I mean, like, take a look at this. And underneath the counter, he pulls out what is unmistakably official robes of the House of Artifice.

You recognise the plush velvet of the robes, you see the fine stitching, you see the unmistakable, almost impossible to forge, double cog sigil that is the icon of the house. It's beautiful. Yeah, and it's mine. And then he closes the box like in Pretty Woman.

I pull my hand back. Gribbles! Gribbles! Oh, yeah, hi. Ugh! Wait, look, we... Sorry, is that like a crang thing? I need... Wait, look, we need your help.

Do you want this tin whistle or not? You know what? I... Not that badly. Yeah, not that badly. Okay, just use your legal speak and tell the general pantaloons person that we need to commandeer this robe for like police purposes.

Um, hi, Heather. Um, are you familiar with water deep consumer law? Uh, very, yes. Kribitz takes a small, very tired and dog-eared copy of the Waterdeep Consumer Practices Act that he has secured inside his jerkin'. Well, I've got to tell you that the customer isn't satisfied with the clothing you've given him and you may have misrepresented to him the quality... Help me, get me out of here.

The quality and the please, I will give you anything if you get me out of here. I don't know, that doesn't sound like the law. You could be in a lot of trouble if you don't... If I may step in. Did you grab the textbook? Yeah. Me understanding of consumer law is anything in shop is for sale. Me know me not be big city lawyer.

But me, Dilgej certainly am. Hello. Hi. Okay, well yeah. We take rope. Okay, well you have got me there according to the law. It has to be for sale. So let me just, he takes out like a kind of a steampunk pricing gun and he's like, ka-chink, and he's like, yeah, that's like a thousand gold pieces me also believe that product for sale is this right brother must be at marked

price of what is displayed me brother work magic shop and if there was zero price on box it mean robe cost zero dollar that is that is definitely filled logic and I love it so price on box, it mean robe cost zero dollar. That is definitely filled logic and I love it. So

this is what I'm going to do for you. Alright, we're going to call this a moderate check. So we'll call this DC 12 maybe. And I'm going to give you advantage because you're backed up by your big brother and because that was just kind of lovely. And you have to make a performance judicial practices

check which is going to be. I've got no bonuses for that. So you just need to roll two dice and I've got no charisma. Roll two dice and one of them has to be higher than 12 and know that if you tried to scare him you would have. Oh one of them got a 7 and a 13.

That will do it. Advantage. Congratulations. Oh. One of them got a seven and a 13. That will do it. Advantage. Congratulations. Congratulations. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. Well, this is going to ruin my life. This isn't mine. We don't have time for your story. Give us the roads.

This is my boss's, which is my father's, who asked me to mine it for him just for like two hours. So, wow. Hey, um, what's your dad's name? Clive. Clive who? Yeah, Clive who? Clive who? Okay. Well, we'll be

sure to, um, drop it back to him when we're done with it. Clive who? Bobbyive who? Okay. Well, we'll be sure to drop it back to him when we're done with it. Clive who? Bobby makes a mental note. Okay. And then like in a daze, he just sort of hands you the box. I snatch it up and I say, big mistake. Big.

Huge. And then we all walk out of the shop. Okay. Congratulations. Inside, you discover... Now, I can only hope that Clive, who is a very, very tall man, which will allow all of us to stand on each other's shoulders... Unfortunately, you're correct.

What? No, I mean, you're correct in the problem. There is one robe inside. It is a humanoid-sized robe. It would easily fit Friso. Oh, boy. It would make Bobby look frankly ridiculous and it would be insulting to ask Filge or Dilge to wear it, let alone

Dilge on Filge's shoulders as Dilge is already seeming to physically indicate. There is one robe... And Ribbits is strapped to her front. Yeah, do you sell anything in like a half-orc with a goblin and a table strapped to her size? Oh, just more unrealistic standards of beauty that aren't accepting to the modern half-orc with a goblin strapped to her.

Phil's just getting ready in a cosplay from a running man costume that she's working on. No one gets your reference. No, no one gets my reference. And you had a go at me for spy pen and crank. If anybody, if anybody, we have people that listen. We have a few people that listen to this in America. We have a few people that listen to this in Europe. If anybody gets my reference, can you just mail in, let me know.

Yes, please use mail. Regular snail mail. In fact, I, Dave Harmon, will now give out my street address. Care of Giant Dwarf Theatre, Cleveland Street. 199 Cleveland Street. Send us some mail. Yeah, send us some fan mail. Sure.

199 Street, Red Ferns. Oh, New South Wales, Australia. Oh, yeah. All right. So I guess that the ball has been passed to Charismatic Freezoda to break into this temple with these humanoid robes. That is definitely a possibility. That does mean that you're going to be going in

completely without backup, you know, without support. Maybe we should go back into the store and get the fake ones and then Friso can vanguard it and we'll just, like, blend in behind him. I'm for that. Okay, so you walk back into the store. You just kind of made a big display of walking out of. I walk in, I'm like, still big mistake.

Hey, who? Guess what? As you walk in, you realise that he's not paying attention to the door because the clerk seems to be being browbeaten by a middle-aged man. He's like, What were you thinking? Didn't you know that if you don't put a price on something it's free? He's like, I didn't know Dad, I'm really sorry.

I just feel bad. And, oh look they're back! They both turn to look at you. It us. Hi. Are we interrupting something? Um, hey guys, not at all. And then Gribbitz says something, he's like, Hey, can I just have a real quick heart-off with you guys for just two seconds?

Okay, yeah sure, okay. Hey guys, has it occurred to you that if this guy's father has robes, then this guy is probably in the cult and probably doesn't want to see you buying the robes so you can sneak in. I roll for initiative. It's clobbering time. Serious? I guess we have to kill him now, right? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, the only way to defend someone is to kill them in front of their son, you sociopath. What, you want to create another Batman? Don't worry, look, we know. sociopath? What, you want to create another Batman? Don't worry, look, we know... Look, I have the rules for commoners here, if you want to do that. Alright, well here's the problem that you have right now, and you can decide how you're going to outline it, right? He's like, yeah dad, it was those guys. And he's like, oh yeah, hi, Clive Who here. Sorry, who?

Oh, it's very amusing. Hey, look. Excuse me, are you on first? Oh, they get that. They get that. Oh gosh, you know, that's just every bloody time. That gets me right in the old funny bone. And it's here. And then he points to his dick.

bloody time. That gets me right in the old funny boat and it's here. And then he points to his dick. Now me no big city doctor. Oh yeah, hey guys. My priceless robe being gone notwithstanding I'm a little bit curious as to why you're trying to

acquire a robe to a hitherto, I understood, secret society. I told you we're in too deep! We're in too deep! No, no, no, I'll handle this. As his son's like, hey, maybe we should just, um... So? Why is everyone looking at Bobby?

Look, alright, I'm not going to make this happen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! There's too much blood been spilled. Me and sister am part of roving band street performer looking to make

satirical work on Waterdeep government very pro-cult. We need authentic robes for full experience to clothe the hero of the piece a handsome cult member called

Clive where? where? that's a bluff check that is being done by Dilj oh no oh no no no no

so it's deception charisma based cool can I cast the spell friends on him it's a cantrip oh yeah tell me

what's the casting time concentration up to casting time one action okay yeah so as you say that, you also wave your hands and I think that's... To bring the rich

world of my theatre to life. What's the say for that? There is none. You cannot save but be friends with you if you do that. Yep. That's how it works, man. Networking rules. Okay, fine.

Okay, so you whisper some, what sounds a lot like gibberish, but you insist is actual magic. And, yeah, great. So this gives you advantage on charisma checks. So you can roll now two dice and pick the highest one. Because now Clive Who is your friend. Cool. What's the saving? What's DC to beat? Look, the DC for that is hard Because that is a lot of bullshit

Well, that's bad Because I'm at a minus one But you got advantage So that is DC 20 So you just roll a natural 20 You know what's funny? I still don't know what DC means And you never will

18 and 7 Alright, that's it Looks like Freezo's going to solve this for everyone once again. All right, Friso, you got surprised. So what's your first action? I'm witch bolting this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You want me to kill the father or the son first.

That's the choice you get to make. That's the choice you get to make. Just fucking him out. We're having this conversation in the world, right? Like this is something that Friso is screaming. And we're all holding him back. And then I come forward and try to pitch a street theatre. And Friso's like, who wants to die?

All right, you... Did he just say the father or the son first? Is that what he shouted? Yes, casting am very difficult. Not sure who to build production around. Six seconds, Friso. What do you do? I... Look, let's do it. Let's just do it. Okay, I... Then we can take all the rugs we need. six seconds Friso what do you do I look

let's do it let's just do it okay I then we can take all the rhymes we need it's your action Friso alright I roll a 17 so that probably hits

what are you doing what are you doing where's your spell book that will hit that will hit yeah I'm casting a witch bolt give me the spell book

give me the spell book and this is also all happening give me the spell book we don't give him the spell book. Give me the spell book. And this is also all happening. Give me the spell book. We don't give him the spell book. There's a reason we have the spell book. All right, and then I do 1d12 of damage.

Should I try and knock him out? Yeah, knock him out. All right, I'm going to... I've had enough. I've seen enough, and I don't want my poor son Gibgob to see anymore. I will let you have a surprise round also on Friso and these both will happen simultaneously. No, you mean knock out these guys, not

knock me out. No, I want to knock you out. I'm redirecting this witch. You have disadvantage because you have a goblin strapped to your chest so roll two dice. Lowest number. Friso's armour class is 14. And I got...

18 and 8. 18 and 8. All right, you swing and miss, and Friso... And he rips it in the head instead. He goes out cold. Okay, cool. And you do. Is it D10, I believe, was it?

He fast asleep. I did 1D12, which was 6 plus 5 to hit so 11 damage. Plus 5 really? Oh, plus 5 to hit? No, is that? That was to hit. Oh, that's to hit. How do you not know this off by heart by now?

1d12 worth of damage. So you did 6 damage? Yes, I did 6 damage. Okay, congratulations. Did you hit the father or the son? Don't make us choose. Don't make us choose. Sophie's Witch Bolt choice.

I will hit the father. The father. Because the real tragedy is when a parent has to watch their son. Work at General Pantaloons. All right, commenters have four hit points, so Clive who is dead. And his son sees his flesh melt and pull on the ground. Good news is all this is yours now You've always wanted to have your own shop, right?

I've never wanted to have my own Oh my god Oh really? You don't want the shop? Can we have it then? Just the robes Can we just have the robes? And then he just vomits everywhere

As is incapacitated I grab a length of rope And I just bind him And just tie him. Okay. Please not cry too loud. It wake grip grub baby. He is shaking, vomiting, and tears are pouring down his face.

So he doesn't put up much of a fight and you tie him to the bench. I am so sorry. Friso, you are going to... I just saved this party from having to deal with that guy's talking. You just saved us from having to pay for robes. We are going to have a very serious talk about this once we're no longer in terrible danger. So inside General

Pantaloons while you're trussing up the sun you see that there's the robe still there. I mean you still have the robe but then there are also the kind of slight knock off imitation robes. Oh I have a question. What was Clive wearing? Was he wearing one of the robes? No he was wearing the... Chinos.

Whatever it was it's burnt up now so... He was wearing fantasy chinos. And the tabard of the Guild of Mercers. All the guilds in Waterdeep. Did I...was it a...I know this is...I don't mean to be too grisly but was it a headshot or did I hit the clothes? Um yeah you can get, but there's molten flesh and it smells of molten flesh. You wear that one. No, I've got the good one.

The good one fits me. You guys can pick around the strap. We grab all of them. We put them into the bag of holding and we empty the cash register because in for a penny, in for a pound. We make this look like robbery We all get out of this alive

Hey, Phil, can you clock that crying boy on the head, please? I'll put him out of his misery Not to death Knock him out But, but, that said, that said, I think she does need to do a dexterity check to see if she accidentally kills him.

Are you going to try and knock him out? Or do I have to? Either or. Yeah, maybe knock him out enough so he doesn't remember. Yeah. Okay, cool. That's a tricky thing to do. We'll call that, not that tricky, we'll call it easy,

so DC 10. So you've just got to roll and beat 10 on your dexterity. She's got disadvantage because she's got a table strapped. You have disadvantage because you have a goblin lawyer strapped to your chest.

Alright, I take a swing and I say, I told you it was big mistake. I got eight. You got a 17. You got a 19. You nailed it.

Yeah, 19. You clock him 17. You got a 19. You nailed it. Yeah, 19. You clock him and he falls into a merciful sleep and dreams a dream where his father is not dead. Me like men in black. The dragon friends still have to find the password to get into the cultist meeting, which we'll see if they can manage to do after interval. Would you please put your hands together for your DM?

Your bard! And our players! The Dragon Friends is DM'd by David Harmon with NPCs, played by me, Ben Jenkins. The cast is Alex Lee, Simon Greiner and Michael Hing. Our bard is Benny Davis. Our special guest this week was Tom Walker.

Thanks so much for listening. As glory's just beginning, our adventure never ends. The saga of the heroes that they call the Dragon Friends.