Dragon Friends - #2.01. Indeed I Am Swole

Episode Date: February 17, 2016

A new year means a new adventure! Bobby, Philge and Freezo are back with an extra-spooky adventure in the far-off land of Barovia. What troubles lie in store for our heroes? Probably vampires, hey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello Dragon Friends and welcome to Season 2. Filge, Bobby and Friso are all back for a brand new and horrifying adventure along with our DM David Harmon and Bard Benny Davis. I am overseas right now but am pretty excited to let you know that all our NPCs will be played by the incredible actor and improviser Eden Lacey. So, without further ado, here's the first episode of Season 2 of Dragon Friends. Dragon Friends

If it's spooky, don't be frightened Dragon Friends Scurry home and bar the doors Daylight air And the fiends and ghouls delight in Things that's cursed and be well aware As you make your way, don't be led astray For the goal is near and your friends are here

And there's plenty more in store It has been almost half a year since the Dragon Friends parted company. The trials of the Artificers exacted a heavy cost on each of you, and with Davin Tyrell, your mutual enemy, finally defeated, it was clear that it was time to go your own way. In the past months, each of you have had adventures of your own and forged your own paths into life, filling your days however you choose. So, for example, what has Friso, the homeschooled warlock, been up to? I think at the end of the last adventure, in a panic, I said, I'm taking all the money

and starting a bakery. end of the last adventure, in a panic, I said I'm taking all the money and starting a bakery. So, in the name of continuity, I took all the money and I started a bakery. Okay, thank you very much. And Phil, the half-orc barbarian. Yeah,

me sorry haven't been in touch for a while. Me went to Dilger's funeral. Why wasn't I invited to that? Oh. Corpse desecration? Yeah.

Is it because of the thing I did with the corpse? Just a thought. Is it because I used the corpse to prop close the door? Is that why? That's mostly why. Okay.

But not only why. However, for all of your adventures and misadventures you can't help but think back to your journeys together when the three of you took on a corrupt duke an evil cult a city and even a giant dragon

and definitely defeated at least three of these things so you're actually rather excited when the two of you head to your own small homes to find a letter waiting at the door. Written on a foreign, sharply smelling vellum, it bears the seal of an old friend, Bobby Pancakes. It's just a picture of a pancake. Is it like wax? It's actually the seal of the House of Pancakes

Which is an international house, of course Bobby needs your help so you gather up your things and settle your affairs The letter is brief, but it asks you to meet him in a distant kingdom A land called Barovia, where the river Iblis meets the Svalach woods. This is a land of old magic, ancient rumour and tradition. The letter tells you to wait for Bobby at a tavern just off the old Svalach road. There

he will explain why he's asked you to this desolate place. How far away is this Svalach road tavern? About two and a half days ride from Waterdeep. And do we have horses in our all rideable beasts? There could be goats.

I don't know. It's fantasy. Is goats the most fantasy animal you could think of? Yes. It's like a unicorn with two horns. I am prepared to say that Janos Mir is just happy to get you out of the city. Your benefactor has provided you with horses, travelling gear, anything you need. Alright.

Are you going to get a billy or a nanny? No, I'm going to have a pack. Like a pack of goats pulling a steam train. You're going to ride a pack of goats. Pulling a steam train. Okay, when I said he was willing to give you anything you need, I think he was probably hoping that what you needed was a horse. Well, you didn't say that at the start.

Special needs. Yeah. We got, how big is this train, do you reckon? Let me look into your mind's eye. As big as one horse. So, yeah, it's a pretty small train. Yeah. And it's pulled by, let's say, 30 goats?

Yeah. All right, I'm going to allow this, but this is going to have essentially, this will spend all of the money and all of the treasure that you gained in the last adventure. What kind of gift costs money to receive? Also, someone's going to get their robes munched. Yeah.

All right, fine. I'll trade all the money. And what else am I trading? Your dignity. Your dignity, yeah. Not an issue. All right, so I'm trading all my money for 30 goats and a train the size of a horse.

It's a sled. It's a sled that looks like a train but short. Like my bed anyway. You make your way down the Spalich Road and you bump into an old friend riding a stout war horse.

It is of course the half-orc Filge. Grrrr! Uh... There, there, Friso. Oh, you again. I was sorry to hear about Dilj and his funeral that I wasn't invited to. Wait, you're sorry because you weren't invited? Or you're sorry for untimely passing of my brother? I was sorry that someone saw fit to prank the funeral.

I wonder who that was. If you intended to prank us, in fact, filling coffin full of bats is highest honour for our family. Oh well, I see you got the same letter from the house of pancakes. Indeed. And we are heading to... Barovia. You are in fact already in Barovia. Ah!

Tall shapes loom out of the dense fog that surrounds... The goats have passed. And these shapes become recognisable as the dwellings of the village of Barovia. No sound cuts through the silence of a city that seems... of a small village that seems in mourning. A single shaft... Did you say mourning? Mourning, yes.

Oh, what are they mourning? Oh, we need to find out. Sorry. A single shaft of light thrusts into the main square, its brightness like a solid pillar in the heavy fog. Above the gaping doorway, a sign hangs creaking askew, proclaiming that this is the blood on the vine

tavern. This place looked like shithole. Am I going to get in with these shoes? I don't know. Rizzo is wearing two dead rabbits on his feet. Presumably giving a copper coin to a valet who looks a little put out at having to... Oh, if only I had some money left, Dave. So now you don't tip, that's the thing?

I don't have any money. I spent it all on these 30 goats. As you said, dungeon master. Finding a place for your 31 beasts of labour. The two of you, do you want to enter the tavern? Yes. Yeah. All right.

Inside the tavern, which looks like it was once a quite rich, lively place, you can't help but again note this sort of sense of despair and decay that is over the entire village, really. Oh. Je t'adore. I am so sad. My crops have failed. I am generally in a malaise.

As you walk past a table of villagers complaining to no one in particular, you make your way into the room where you can see a bartender, tables, dice games, all the things that you would expect to find in a tavern such as this. And in the corner by the fire, a familiar, if small, shape.

It's you, Bobby Pancakes. Oh, right. Thought it might be one of the goats. You've fallen on tough times. Is your home now? In a manner of speaking, yes. Which manner of speaking? Common tongue?

We speak that one. Yeah, okay. I've been on a sort of a personal journey, which brought me here to Barovia. Guys, thanks for coming. You dying or what? Dying to tell you this news.

A busty bar wench sidles up to the table and says, Howdy y'all, welcome to the Blood and Vine, how can I serve you? Sorry, what? Where are we? In Barovia. I know we're in Bablovia,

but why is it such a cosmopolitan city with so many different accents, Eden? Why not? I guess what we're used to is like four different types of North English accents. And Snugglepuss. I thought I'd spice it up a little. Well, there's a reason.

Once you enter Barovia, you cannot leave. Why wouldn't you tell us that before we came? Because then you wouldn't come. That is so deeply selfish. Oh my goodness. You're extremely manipulative. It's true.

I came here looking for fame and fortune. I have the map upside down. I've just been stuck here ever since, waiting tables. Wait. How does this work? You can't ever leave. What if I just leave? I didn't know that when I came.

Is this like a magical thing? Is this more of a government, like... It's kind of a curse thing, yeah. Oh, so it's a magic thing. Yeah, Bobby goes on to tell you that, in fact, nobody for centuries now has been able to leave the kingdom of Barovia. Why isn't it, like, super packed and crowded then? Because it's also not a place where anyone gets in the mood ever.

I see, okay. And also when you... It's non-sexual. It's a really non-sexual place. And also when you... It's non-sexual. It's a really non-sexual plan. And also when you yell loudly, how come there's not super packed with people? Everyone goes... And kind of shudders and goes...

Oh, I get it, they're mourning something. Maybe some sort of mass... So the Svalis Road took you through gates into the kingdom and as you gates into the kingdom and as you went into the valley and the fog surrounded you and you breathed it in, you became cursed as well. If you try to leave as if anyone in the last hundred years has tried to leave Barovia, you will meet a horrible, choking death.

Boom. Wow. Graphic. So I'm really counting on you guys to help get me out of here. So maybe we should talk to the wench. Yeah. She's right there. I'm right here.

I have a name. What is your name? Betsy. Your name Betsy? Like little Betsy? No, Betsy. Betsy. Betsy.

We're new to this land of Barovia and we'd like to leave. Well, you can't. My brother, Johannes, tried to leave and I had good word when his dog came back that he had died. Can you talk to dogs? She kind of barked a few times and that's what I assumed that she meant. They had been such close friends, I knew... Dogs don't just abandon their owners. They don't.

They don't. Not unless they die. And then they stay with them for a while, until they're sure that they're dead, and they can't smell and breathe anymore. Then they go somewhere else to find some chicken. What can I get you to drink? Well, Betsy bustles off to get your drinks. You get a chance to look around. And as I've already said before,

there is a real heaviness, melancholy in the air of this tavern but also you sense a real fear in people no one is really talking they all seem huddled the near the torches and the fire everyone as the day grows into dusk seems to be a bit feared of the night itself the only thing that keeps me going is this accordion music I'm gonna make I'm gonna make friends

alright so I go up to the crying guy who we heard when we came in okay and I'm like can we scooch on

over here for a second? Please don't eat me, you great beast. Barovia is also, as I said, for hundreds of years, has been disconnected from the cosmopolitan outside world. So despite what Betsy tells you, half-orcs,

you know, non-humanoids might also be something that is a bit alarming for them. So how do they feel about elves specifically? Well, nobody's bought you a drink yet. I don't know. What do you mean? Okay. I think if I meet an elf, I would not say hello to him.

I kind of stand up on the table and I'm like, I've heard some stuff about how you feel about elves. Now, I'm going to take some questions. If you've never met one before, if anyone wants to ask a question, I've been a high elf all of my life. I just think once we get to know each other

we can kind of get rid of some of this racism that's happening. I just really think that would be helpful. Do you wish to challenge me, elf? And a muscular man stands up and rests his elbow on the elk head above the fire, because he's like seven feet tall. I'm like, oh, they say that no one wants to get it on in Barovia,

but I feel different. And I'm like, what's up? That dude's swole. Indeed, I am swole. For I am, for I am Baston

Indurovich, the most manliest man in all of Barovia. And legally distinct from Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Yeah, you started strong And legally distinct from Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. No, I fight like Gaston. You started strong with new, fresh characters,

but I'm feeling like this is starting to suggest maybe that we found the bottom of the barrel. Look, he's an archetype that I just wanted to play around with. I think he's really fun, and in the song he says expectorating, which I think is a good word. Baston Indrirovich is wearing the livery of Barovi himself, which suggests that he is of the family of the local Burgermeister. Did you say Burgermeister?

Burgermeister. Isn't that how you pronounce it? As in the master of burgers? Yeah. Yeah, that is how you pronounce that. Yeah, I don't think that's what it means. Oh, ask him to get me a milkshake. Sorry, uh, what is,

what will this challenge involve? Well, um, you'd have to get down here and face me like a real man. Is it a burger eating contest? It's clear that, um, Andrirovich has been drinking and is speaking much louder than anyone else here. In fact,

some of the other villagers are seeming alarmed by the confrontation that's starting to happen. I'm not shouting. This is a normal voice. And one who we're sitting with tugs in his sleeve and says, Baston, please, not so close to midnight. Don't touch me, Clarence. We've talked about this. You, Elfie boy, with your pointy ears and your fine features and your face and your lack of facial hair and your smooth skin and your beautiful shapely hips. Get over here and fight me like a man, Elf.

What do I win if I fight you? Your life, because you'll be dead if you don't. Because I'll slap you and then I'll bend you over and I'll tickle you. Baston, please, I really must insist. Not now, Clarence. I'm challenging your man to mortal combat. So what you're saying is, if I beat you in combat, I win. And if I don't beat you in combat, you're just going to kill me. Oh, you're quite the scientist, aren't you?

No, I'm just saying that I don't really have a choice now. They're not all scientists. Alright, well, I guess, like, I mean, I've never killed a man before, but... I guess, like, I mean, I've never killed a man before, but... LAUGHTER He said loudly, establishing an alibi. I guess.

Is this like a one-on-one thing, or can I, like, bring a posse? I want to throw my tankard at him, because I'm sick of his yammering. Great. In the middle of your spluttering protestations of innocence, a tankard hurls towards you. Why don't you just make an attack? Nine. Nine.

What's your armour class? My armour class is 14, so put that tankard away. Tankard? No, yeah, it misses. Yeah, it misses. You're able to dodge the tankard, and in that moment you could hear a pin drop as everybody hears, like, because the tankard goes behind you and you could hear a pin drop as everybody hears

because the tankard goes behind you and smashes a window. Sorry, dropped my pin. As Filge ruins the moment, you hear in the distance a bell start to intone, like a loud, sonorous church bell starts to clang

and everybody looks in the direction, through the window, in the direction of the sound. Our church is starting. In that moment it seems like even Bastogne kind of gets off his chair and seems like he wants out. I'll have you later, elf. What? I'll have you?

It's a challenge. It's a fighting term. Have you? And now even the villagers are starting to trudge out the door. Everybody just leaving their drinks, their dinner, and people are just starting to leave. They're leaving. Yeah, they're going to church.

Outdoors. They're all going. Bastogne, where are you going? He doesn't even say anything. He just blanks you and he walks towards the door. Service terrible here. Where are our drinks? Bitsy.

Sorry, bar's closed. Bitsy, where's everyone going? Where are our drinks? If y'all value your heads You follow me Shall we follow her? Let's follow her Alright, we follow Bitsy

Okay, so you're following all the villagers out? Is that where she's going? She's going with them, yep Alright As you leave, Arik the barkeep Slams the door shut and locks it With a key that he keeps around his neck and follows you as you all make your way through the courtyard and down into the village of Barovia proper. At the end, you see what must have once been a beautiful church that has now fallen into disrepair. You can hear the bells still ringing almost frantically as if the person behind it is really just going at it.

Is that another fighting turn? That's a fighting turn. And all of the villagers are filing their way through the doorway into the church, which is big enough to basically everyone in the village could fit snugly in it. Are there guards at the church or anything? No, the doors are empty and unbarred and open. And Eric bars the door behind you

as the last people scuffle into the church. Inside the church, much like the outside, all decrepit, decayed, there's a small stage with an altar at the front of the church. There are no pews, however. The entire area has been opened up so that as many people as possible can fit in. Like a dance floor? I guess a little bit like a dance floor. But people are kind of rolling out sleeping bags on the dance floor.

Oh, okay. Like a slumber. More like nap time at preschool. But there is already restlessness in the air and you can hear the sounds of villagers going, where's the father? Where's Father Donovich?

My back is hurting. I cannot stand to sleep on this floor again. Wait, where is the father? Where is he? And then a young, gangly dude in priest robes steps on the stage and be like, he's like, no, he says, all right, everybody, calm down.

Is he like a youth pastor? Yeah, but not as cool. With nothing cool about him. No stickers to give out or anything. He's got a bandana that he's tied around his head to try and look cool. Right. But it's just not. It's kind of too loose and it keeps falling over his eyes.

And he keeps pushing it up. And he says, All right, everybody. Just take your places. Father O'Donovich has just been waylaid a little. He'll be out here any minute. There's no need to panic. I repeat, nobody

panic. You know, they don't often say that when there's no need to panic. Much like when one says I've never killed a man. Shh, shh, shh. We should ask someone why everyone's in here. Yeah. Can we talk to the youth

pastor? Sure, if you want to, if you can try and attract his attention. Hey, bro! Oh, hey, friend! I see you're new here. Come over, I'll show you around the place. All right, what's going on? Why are we in this... We just followed some other people in.

I'm not really a religious guy. I kind of grew up in the temple, but I just thought I'd put that out there before we... That's cool, bro. The light of grew up in the temple, but I just thought I'd put that out there before we... That's cool, bro. The light of Bel-Or shines on all. All may gather here

and be protected and gain sanctuary. Yeah, you seem really committed to the cause. What's going on? What are you being protected from? You guys just calm down. It's gonna be fine. We're definitely not gonna be attacked seeing as Father O'Donovitch is gone. There's no reason to panic

because we're all totally safe. Oh god, we're gonna die. We're not gonna make it. We're not gonna make it. Do you think I should slap this person? I was gonna ask you to hold me up so I could slap him. Alright, I pick up Bobby Pancakes. I slap him.

How does he take that? Oh, God. Thanks for that. You look like a bunch of intrepid adventurers. Are you here to save me? Yes. But tell us what from. Every sixth day, we've been getting attacked. Wolves, minions of ham.

Ah, minions. Minions of ham? No. Ham. Is that a name or is that a pronoun? The accent is very... He's saying ham. I'm not saying ham. I'm saying Count Strahd von Sarovich, the lord of the castle.

This place has been cursed by him for centuries. And now that Father O'Donovitch has gone missing... Not missing... Now that he's having a nap, he's definitely not missing. Now that he's just sleeping out back, I've been left in charge of the congregation. Why don't you go ahead, all of you, and make a perception roll.

We'll call this DC 12. Nope. 10. Nope. Does Filch have a... You're all pretty sure that Father Adonavich is having a nap. What is it about this Adonavich that makes him so special against these attacks? Well, he's the leader of our country.

He's a high priest of Pelor. The light shines from him like a lamp. And what are you? I'm at best probably a candle or a match. It wasn't just the father, his holy powers. It was the relic of Pelor that stood in the mantelpiece. He took it. He's not here.

We're all going to die. Oh, God, we're going to die. I have one question. This lord of Kastle? Yeah. He got money? He's the richest man in all of Barovia. He's like the president.

He's the count. He's the count. The richest man? He's like the president? Yeah. What reference in fantasy Barovia? The president of Waterdeep. Which I hear is the richest town

in all of the Forgotten Kingdoms. We reckon Dave. Here, I don't want you to cause any trouble. So what time do these minions attack and what kind of minions are we talking about? Dong. At that moment, the clouds part in the sky and a beam of moonlight hits the church.

Full moonlight? Not full moonlight. No. All right. So you're safe in this church or what? And as that happens, the light pierces through a window and it lands above the altar. And above the altar and above the altar it illuminates an alcove

and inside that alcove you can see nothing. And the villagers see this as well and one of them points and they say the holy symbol. It's gone.

Je t'adore. Je t'adore, Je t'adore. They're all French. Tell me what the symbol is. I think he's talking about the relic. Is it a symbol? Is it a relic? Is it a mark on the wall? It's like where they haven't dusted and there's like one spot which is dust free. That's how you know.

I'm just thinking if it's like a symbol that protects them that we could approximate it. We could redraw it. It looks like a relic. It's an artifact. Sits above the altar. And it's missing. And people are starting to panic now. And the panic is reaching a fever pitch.

And the acolyte is no longer in control of the room. Everybody calm down. There's no reason to panic. Alright everyone, here's what we're going to do. We're going to set up. I'm going to go into raid leader mode now. Calm down! There's no reason to panic! Ahahahahahah! Alright everyone, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna set up, um, I'm gonna go into like raid leader mode now. Is that a trait I can have? Raid leader mode. Yeah, like in, like a main tank would in World of...

It's not... Like... Alright, no, show me what that sounds like. Alright, so we're gonna get Phil to be like a tank, and then we're gonna need an off tank. Bastogne, I reckon you should be like a tank, and then we're going to need an off tank. Baston, I reckon you should be the off tank on these minions. I don't take orders from elves. I'll sing a song.

Just give us a... Oh, well, Baston, if you want to die, that's cool. Like, if you want to die... Well, if you want to die, that's cool. Maybe I do! Maybe that's why I'm the way I am! I knew I saw a darkness in you. What are you

trying to get? I'm trying to encourage everyone to barricade the doors and kind of marshal out offences against these minions. Are there any rooms within it? No, I mean, in the rafters, there's steps behind the altar that lead up to the rafters,

presumably where there are living quarters. Other than that, it's like an old medieval church. There's one big room, one big barricadable door. Is there some sort of like cross or some sort of big object like that? It's not there anymore. Are there women and children with us? Or are we all like... Ah, somebody save me.

I don't want to die. There's not many. There's actually not many children. That was just a surprisingly high-pitched man. No, I was a lady. Oh, wait. No, there's some ladies. There's definitely some ladies.

This is a child. I'm too young to die. Somebody save me. I's definitely some ladies. This is a child. I'm too young to die. Somebody save me. I'm barely 12 summers. So suddenly you hear wolves howling in the distance, and everybody, the panic stops. You can hear it coming.

It's getting louder from outside. And first you hear one wolf howling to the south, and then you hear two more wolves howling from the north and northeast, and they feel like they're communicating and circling in and getting closer. Is there a vantage point from which we can see outside people approaching? Yeah, the bell tower. All right. I run for the bell tower and get up high. No, it's not worth it.

We might make it through the night. All right, so you're running up to the bell tower. What are you two doing? I'm going to barricade the doors. Yeah, the doors are open still at the moment. Okay, so I'm going to slam the doors shut. And can you lock them? There's a huge wooden log that sort of bars it.

Excellent. And what are you going to do, Friso? I... Maybe you should lock me outside with these wolves and I'll deal with them. Raid leader. There's three, right?

Well, you've heard three so far, yeah. I know there's more. That sounds crazy. But you're going out. Make a decision. We're in. I'm going out. I'm taking on these wolves. Okay, so you slip out the door. Do you want me to come with you? You out... Make a decision. We're in. All right, I'm going out. I'm taking on these wolves.

Okay, so you slip out the door. Do you want me to come with you? You're running upstairs. If you want. No, my love. I will fight them with you. My friend. My friend.

I meant to say my friend. All right, so Baston's going with you, and you need to be on the inside if you want to barricade these doors. Yeah, I'll stay on the inside. Okay, great. Filge, make a strength check for me. DC 16.

Two. Two. All right, excellent. I'll pass for six. Okay, it's a lot heavier than it looks. The doors are still open. Bobby, you get upstairs. Quickly make a perception check for me.

DC 12. No. He rolled a four. DC 12. No. He rolled a four. For God's sake. Have any of you rolled more than a six yet? No. All right. It's very cloudy.

You don't see anything. I decide to run back down and go with Friso. No, no, no. Soon you'll be able to do that. Okay. Friso, you go outside. The entire place is empty. There are tendrils of mist peeking through the dark,

tall shapes of the weird Barovian architecture. And as you stand there, you hear once again the one wolf howl that had to be about 200 feet away. Okay. It's bigger and angrier than that. And already you can hear the patter of paws racing towards you. All right, and Baston's out here with me? Oh, yeah.

Okay. He wouldn't leave you to this. Can I see this from where I am? Not yet, but you may be able to soon. All right. Is there like a bush or something I can hide in to like surprise attack me? No, if anything, you are silhouetted by the light coming from the church because the doors weren't able to be closed.

Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just sitting on the floor like holding my toe from where I dropped the log. I'm like, oh, me out of shape. Didn't work out during off-season. I just brace for impact for these wolves. Okay, great. We always do initiative in advance,

so I'm just going to find the initiative page. Here it is. I'm at us, vermin. You're readying an attack, are you? Yeah, I guess. Yep. So what are you going to ready? Your crossbow or a spell?

I have a thing, because Dave, during the off-season, I read this fucking thing. And I feel like, honestly, you've been holding back on us. You read the player's handbook? I read the relevant parts. No one's read the whole thing. I was not expecting this to ever happen. Well, I have a thing, because I leveled up to level three,

I have a pact boon. I'm going to take Pact of the Tome. What are you doing? Look, you didn't tell us any of this stuff. There's all this stuff in here that I'm allowed to do as a warlock. I can talk to any creature telepathically within 30 feet and then convince them to do stuff. So when that wolf gets within 30 feet,

I'm going to tell it to attack one of the other wolves. Okay. That's a solid plan. So we've got to lure it in towards us because it's 200 feet away. Yeah, I'm just waiting. That's why I'm bracing for impact because they're going to come to the church and you want to eat this human flesh or the elf flesh or whatever. All right, more howls come in and soon you realise

that the three wolves are closing in. Just before the clouds can part and you can see anything, Bobby, the first down Main Street appears racing towards you and it gets within 30 feet when I guess you... Yep, talking to it and I say to it, hey, wouldn't you rather eat some wolf tonight? Okay. Can I roll a thing?

Yeah, it's a wisdom saving throw for the wolf against... Wolves are heaps wise. ...this 15. 14. That's a wolf is not that wise. That's a failure is what that is. That's a failure is what that is. That is a failure. All right.

The wolf stops confused, its tiny brain trying to turn over what you've said. For a second, it seems like the bloodlust in its eyes clear, and then immediately replaced with wolf lust, I suppose. But not that kind of wolf lust. Also a fighting term, yeah. And then as the second wolf appears, he lunges towards him, and just as he's about to leap,

snaps his neck at him and attacks his wolf buddy and rolls a one and fails to do it. But because it's a critical failure, does he break his own jaw when he does it? No, what he does, because that is a critical failure, does he like break his own jaw when he does it? No, what he does, because that is a critical failure, is he knocks the misjudges and the two of them fall into a basement that is opened by the, you know, like a little potato cellar?

Yeah. And they fall down some stairs and you sort of clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk. One wolf is left, however, while you've been distracted and it's charging towards you. That was your action. Bobby, you're next. And I can see this wolf charging? You can.

He's lightly obscured by the mist, but you can see a wolf. Stop! Do you have the thing I have? You can't talk to animals, too. I am a werewolf. You're a werewolf, not a parcel tongue. It's not a snake. I say, wolf, stop.

I am your brother. Okay. Half brother at best. I'm not even going to roll. It has no effect. No effect. That was your, you've got one more action. You'm not even going to roll. It has no effect. No effect. That was your... You've got one more action.

You're at your main action still. I shoot at him with my short partner. You're going to shoot at your brother. Well, if he's going to be rude. Okay, great. Sometimes brother's fine. Beat his armor class of 14. Nope.

Oh, no. No, no, no. Serious? No, no. Nope. Oh, no. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Wait, is that... It's plus your attack bonus. Yeah. Which is five. So 14.

Oh, yeah, you got 14. Oh, yeah. Okay. Sorry, yeah, he did hit. Congratulations. You managed to hit him. You got one fucking thing. He hasn't seen you.

There's no... Oh, no, he has because you shouted. You're a terrible rogue. He can hit me. He can see me. No, never mind. Normal attack. I have an idea. I think we should not... How much damage? How much damage? Three. Three plus three is six. Oh, three plus three is six. There's no oh no he has because you shouted you're a terrible road Never mind normal attack How much damage how much damage three three plus three? Yep, I think we should not kill him and capture him and question him, okay

But wait are these werewolves or real they're wolves, but just so it clear they seem larger than real wolves I would like they would make they would make a lovely gift for a Stark child. Okay. So what size, you know, where would it come up to Filge? They're huge. Filge could almost like ride one of these. Capture it. Almost.

Almost. I cannot stress enough that Filge can't ride one of these. I've got a rope. I've got a rope. I'm going to do it. Almost. I cannot stress enough that Filch can't ride one of these. I've got a rope. I'm going to do it. So how damaged is it? It doesn't look damaged at all. If anything, it looks angrier. Fine. Well, I'll just punch it first and then I'll capture it. You have

weapons, but you're going to punch it? Yeah, I'm going to punch that wolf because I want to be able to control how much I hurt it. I don't want to be able to control how much I hurt it. I don't want to kill it. All right. You can do that with your maul if you want to. Okay.

All right. So you're going to do a non-lethal blow. Yep. You've got tickets on yourself if you think that it's close to that, but okay. 13 plus yes that'll hit. Plus six is 19. That hits. Yep.

And then I got 8 8 damage excellent okay it's looking bloodied it's looking in pain but it's still

fighting strong next up is Baston Baston's gonna jump onto the the the cellar door to close it yeah great

and bar it dexterity check 19 Baston I'm the best I'm the best. I'm the best. Moving with a dent. I'm closing doors.

With cat-like tread and dancer's grace, Baston does a backflip and lands on the door, kicking it in a way that three bolts manage to close themselves and a lock snaps shut. Did you see that, elf? I'm like, I saw it! The next up is the wolf, which dives forward and attacks you, Friezo,

and it rolls a 20. Oh, yeah. Which means that it is going to bite you, which is a... Oh, God. All right. Can it do the thing where it grabs on and then just does additional damage? He's turning and he's bleeding.

He's like... Baston, how could you? Hey, that was not Baston talk. All right, that's 12 hit points of damage. We healed over the break, right? Yeah, you're not still hurting. It was six months ago. His wounds were very infected because he didn't take care of them.

Just go to a doctor, man. Excellent. He snaps six months ago. His wounds were very infected because he didn't take care of them. Just go to a doctor, man. Excellent. He snaps and bites you. The temple doesn't believe in... Anyway, sorry. And the next up is you, Friezo. Friezo. Look, I'm with Filge. I want to capture this thing, but

it's just not having any of it, so I guess we've got to kill it. You must be so disappointed. Another thing, you told me that every time I kill something, I get four temporary hit points. You never told me that. That's like a thing. I get sweet bonuses from killing people, and you're like,

oh, why are you killing everyone? That's why I've been doing it, obviously, is why. I don't know how much I'm going to enjoy this new Michael Hing who knows the rules. I don't know how much I'm going to enjoy this new Michael Hing who knows the rules. All right, so I'm going to witch bolt this dude. I mean, this wolf. Fans of a witch bolt?

This guy loves witch bolts. Any fans of witch bolts out here? All right. Bring back my greatest hits. Witch bolt. Muttering your favorite incantation, drawing those shapes once more eldritch and horrible in the air. Your eyes glow white and tendrils of pain incarnate reach out from your fingers, speeding towards the dire wolf, only to... Three plus five, eight.

That's a d12, mate. Yeah, it hits, doesn't it? So I'm doing a three damage plus five. It's eight damage. Okay, the wolf is so almost dead. It's in pain. It seems to be being eaten by demons you can barely see. You're up.

Is it directly below me? Yeah, you can still see it. I launch another arrow to it from my short bow. Because he's in combat, might it hit? It might, yep. So that's hit. 18 plus five. Are you trying not to hit Friezo?

Yes! Yeah, but... Then roll two dice and it's the lowest. Man, that was such a good roll. Oh. So 17 is the highest and eight is the lowest. All right, that doesn't hit, I'm afraid. That's because you were too careful.

And next up is... I still want to question that wolf. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I still want to question that wolf, so I'm going to walk up to it and put it in a headlock and yell into its face, Who sent you?! Okay, quickly, make a

strength test, a pose strength test with the wolf. I'm going to let you actually... First of all, try and hit it. So, give me an attack. 17. Alright, you've grabbed it. Now make an opposed strength check. Is that 20 again? Just roll one more, yep. I got 12. You got 12. It got 11. Your strength is higher.

So you have the wolf in a headlock. Yeah. Yep. And the wolf can't understand what you're speaking in. And Baston dives in and says, I will save you, my love. Friend, ally. And stabs the wolf with his dagger. Okay.

15. D4. Four plus his strength. The wolf is dead. I'm the best. I'm the best. Will the dragon friends be able to escape Barovia and indeed save the town?

How will the Dragon Friends respond to a man who tried to help them but killed their only eyewitness, a wolf who saw everything? To find out the answer to these and more, tune in to the next episode of Dragon Friends! The episode you just heard featured Alex Lee, Michael Hing, Simon Greiner, was DM'd by david

harman live musical accompaniment provided by our bard benny davis the npcs were played by eden lacey and the podcast was edited by david harman and benny davis our next show is in sydney at the giant dwarf theater on march the 2nd and you can get tickets at the dragon friends.com thanks for listening