Dragon Friends - #2.12. I'm The 9 In This Relationship with Zoe Norton-Lodge

Episode Date: September 28, 2016

The fair maiden Ireena has been rescued and her sad story retold. The Dragon Friends are feeling increasingly like the third wheel in an ill-thought out romance. Luckily the vampire Strahd is around to break all the tension. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dragon Friends The once warm and inviting chambers of Eirena Colliana are now cold, slick with rain and despondent. The dragon friends are shivering but unbroken as the vampire count has been bested. But for how long? This fight has not been without cost and already Baston's head is spinning and Bobby still feels the ill effects of the hold person spell that had only recently paralyzed him and yet none of you can shake the feeling that you will have to fight this man again soon yet how can you fight a vampire count who seems to laugh away even the

most potent of your weapons a man indeed being, centuries old and immune to all damage. The relic of Pelo held by Bobby has given you a moment's respite, but it is clear that unless you can find means to vanquish this beast once and for all... Did you say memes? Yeah, like a kit gun. He's vulnerable

to doge. He cummed at stride! Who has the sketchbooks? Who has the sketchbooks? Who has the sketchbooks? Strahd riding a unicycle. Unless you can find memes sufficient to defeat him, you are but marching towards an early grave. Who amongst you knows more of the dragon than any?

It has to be the fair Irena. Strange, with not much to say so far, but perhaps more now. For it is time at last for answers. Do you, friends of dragons, you want answers? Yes. Yeah. Yes, please. Okay, okay.

So, you know how you're not very good at fight Mr. Vampire? You did okay. For first go, you did okay. Thank you. But could you do better? Roll a dice to see if she's taking the piss. 15. You feel very brave and strong.

Yes, I feel brave. Okay, okay. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. So, some time ago, I find a key. And she brandishes it. It is embossed with the symbol of the house stride. It was hiding in one of the holes of my body, but I won't say which one.

You know, you clean each hole sometimes sometimes you find this or that key. Don't worry, I cleaned it, it's Bobby. But the key eludes you. Now, this key. Man, am I right? That's right, Mr. Filch. Is that your name? Are you a lady?

More lady than you know. Just for now one day I hope to know all of how much you are lady but that's for a different time for now this key is the thing now this key I believe goes if we go upstairs big castle, many stairs up to one more level,

there's a library in which we might find a special book which maybe explains why you're so shit at fighting Mr. Vampire. Flawless. And very good at being part of the dragon friends team. Dave, quick question. How long does the spell last for?

The charm spell? Yeah. One hour. And this fight has so far taken about eight minutes. So in 52 minutes, she's in for a shock. All right, all right. But for now, Bobby, can I ride you up to the library? Babe, I'm right fucking here.

Beston, I'm really sorry. You're not sorry. If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it. It was an honest mistake. I thought I was casting charm for you. Yeah, well, I don't need any spells to be charming. You do, you do. And then some other help, too, from plastic surgeon.

Hey, hey, I'm the nine in this relationship, okay? You're upside down nine. You are six. Six at max. Anyway, let's go to the fucking library. I'm sick of this shit. Let's find out why you're shit. Let's go to the library. How can you be so cruel?

Now you remember, of course, that Duke had warned you that um... It's a gift that keeps on giving. That the second and third floors were Strahd's domain, and yet there seems no other choice. So the key has been given to you,

and now you must make your own choices, of which I just said you have none. So you go up to the library. No, I think that was good. That was good. That was good. You guys can go home. I got this.

I can just insult myself for an hour. You guys can go home. I got this. I can just insult myself for an hour. So. Let's go upstairs then. Yeah, we go up the stairs. Follow me and my sexy ass up the stairs.

She points to a small diminutive pet donkey that she carries with her at all times. Oh, donkey to donkeys? I was going to say assy one ass. That's much better. Come on, assy one ass. Let's go. You make your way up the stairs and soon you find yourselves

in a vast library. Of course, books are rare, powerful things owned only by the wisest and richest and yet to own a library such as this is sign once again of the

immense power of the Zarevich family. Multiple stories tower ahead of you with tomes in vellum, leather, canvas, even strange reed-based papers of the east. And huge

ladders are needed to sort of carry your way up into this area. Oh my god, is there a ladder on fucking wheels? You better believe that it's Buck Wilde. Whee! Rides it all the way around. Bastogne, we need to focus. I am focused.

Whee! Irina, do you know what this book looks like? No. Do you think, Fraser, you can cast some sort of like... I'm going to cast Detect Magic. Okay. I rolled a... 19.

Oh, 19. Fuck. Oh, okay, well done. Where's the book, Dungeon Dave? You detect a powerful magic emanating from a... Every single book. No, no, emanating from a pedestal. There are minor magic from many sort of books and scrolls around, but on that pedestal,

wrapped in two chains to hold it open, is an old, giant, dusty book. I opened the book. It's already open with chains. You're being heckled by the audience, mate. What? I mean, I flicked through the pages of the book. It's held open with chains.

What? So you can't turn any of the pages? Why are you listening? Is it just the covers or is it the page? Everything's changed. Oh my God, it's held open with... Sorry, I'm sorry. As Bastogne whizzes past, he goes,

What does it say? What does it say? So, can you open book with key? I thought we firmly established that the book is open. This was last three minutes. Do you have a mental challenge? Okay, let me help you. The confusion is arising

from whether or not the change are attached just to the cover of the book or whether they are holding it open to a certain page. Thank you. Please clarify. I can explain because I can see the book. Because I'm not completely fucking stupid. So, here's big book. Yep. I'm not completely fucking stupid. here's big book.

Yeah, I'm with you. Cover book, big lock to pedestal. Pages flippy flop. You see what you like. Turn the page and find out why you're killing a vampire. She's absolutely right.

I want to go home. I want to go home! I want to go home! Fuck me! God! I quietly put my hand up. Miss Irina? Yes, you can speak.

Me can't read. Who the fuck is these people on this adventure? Miss DM. Who is she talking to? If you'd like to address Dave, please use your normal human voice. Dave, mate, Dave. And refer to him in his full title as Dungeon Dave. Dungeon Dave.

Okay. Okay. Dungeon Dave. Dungeon Dave. Okay. Dungeon Dave. Dungeon Dave. Dungeon Dave. Dungeon Dave. I am summoned! What's the book say, Dave?

Yeah, what does it say? You can see, although the book is locked in its open position, a plaque at the top of the pedestal reveals its title to be The Terrible and Lamentable History of the Noble House of Strahd. Oh, it sounds bad. Yeah. It's boring.

All right, so with my detect magic, can I tell what kind of magic it has or possesses? Yeah, no, the book seems to be in... You can't get specifics, but the book seems to be embroiled in an ancient curse, and we're talking like 400 or 500 years old. There is an old magic here, and the act of writing this book has solidified that curse,

and that curse has amplified the act of writing this book has solidified that curse and that curse has amplified the magic of the book. So if I were to destroy the book, would that free the curse? Probably not. And also, destroy the information. Oh, I read the book. And what language is it in?

It is in common so it's actually readable by anyone. Tick. Done. Except Filge, apparently. Yes. Anyone except Filge. Alright, so Dungeon Dave, what does the book say? So the book details over hundreds of pages the history of every

major person in the house of the Zarevich house, and also particularly the life of every Strahd von Zarevich, the honorary name of the Baron. Okay, so I turn to the most recent entry. Excellent. Before that, do you read some non-relevant but interesting entries?

Yeah. Some cool facts? Yeah. Yeah, I skip to the did you know section of the book. Yeah. And I scan down to fact number three. Yeah, which? section of the book. And I scan down to fact number three. On the third day of the second

year of Chawimbo in the month of Dingle, a large cow married his sister. Suddenly a wind gusts through the room and you find... And it turns it to another page that said,

Did you know that Ernie... Dingo. Von Starovich invented corn? And then another gust of wind goes to another page. And it goes... Friso is filled with regret. You turn to the last page of the book. Well, like the last functional page.

Like no indices, no... Ooh, ooh, I got the page. Oh, we've got an actual scroll on stage. Real magic. Let me read it. I believe in you, Phil. Sound it out. Use the letters I taught you.

S... S... Sot. Sot. I believe in you, Filch. Sound it out. Use the letters I taught you. Saw. Saw. It. Saw it. Saw it. Came. Each episode is like 40 minutes tops.

Can you do my internal... Can you read my internal monologue Yeah so Filch's internal monologue is Oh fuck I will read it So it came to pass On the night of Sergei's wedding

The disaster and discord Befell this most ancient house For Strahd Stricken with jealousy Could not abide His brother's happiness And plotted to take Sergei's new wife

As his own That's written in. Do you want to read the whole thing? There's a lot there. Strahd offered a toast at the wedding feast, and Sergei did drink deeply from that poison chalice. But Sergei's young bride, Petrina, which is what he called you,

shared in the drink and both fell at once into sickness and death. For his sins, Strahd had lost the only thing he truly cared about and was driven mad by the gods as punishment. We're dealing... This ain't your granddaddy's vampire. It's a crazy vampire.

No, my granddaddy killed that vampire. Now Strahd lives a cursed half-life as vampire and abomination. He can be harmed by no weapon or spell. Oh. Oh. Save at the hand of Sergei's namesword, a present from Strahd on his engagement.

The weapon's location is lost... Oh, it's lost to history. Never mind. Okay, let's go. I mean, there's more, but go on. Lost to history. It was ferreted. Ferreted.

Interesting verb choice, Dave. It was ferreted. Ferreted. Interesting verb choice, Dave. It was ferreted away. I didn't write the book. It was like... Into the west tower of Castle Ravenloft on the night of Sergei's death

and never seen or heard of again. We need to find a secret sword in the west wing. Is it a sword? What's the president going to say to this?

Yeah. A sword in the... Yes, a sword. It is a sword. Name sword. Can I do a detect magic for a name sword? No. I rolled detect sword. Oh, that dice is gone.

Do you have detect sword? Well, I mean, I have perception. You can search. Yeah, search the room. Absolutely. What do you roll? A good old 11. Okay, yeah, search the room, absolutely. What do you roll? A good old 11. Okay, you start searching the room and it's

taking a while. I have a question in the meantime. I believe I used to have this memory from before I was kidnapped of this nice father figure I had. Whatever happened to him?

Do my friends of the dragon know? Oh, you refer to Father O'Donovitch, the kindly village priest in Barovia that had raised you. He was just the best man. He raised me. I want to find him. Filch suddenly gets interested in reading the book. Unfortunately, your absence... I'll do a deception check if you want. Yep. Unfortunately, your absence...

I'll do a deception check if you want. Yep. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Alright, so that is a 19 plus 5 is 24. So whatever I say now goes, right? I did not agree to that, but go on. So I tell Irina, or Petrina, whatever your name is... Definitely Irina. Irina. I tell Irina, or Petrina, whatever your name is.

Definitely Irina. I tell Irina that... Oh, so she's not two people. I get it. Sorry. Fuck me. It's just so hard to know what we're dealing with here. You think it was the fucking fight club situation? I thought maybe what had happened is that she had been reborn from Petrina or something, and was Irina, and that's why he captured her. No.

All right. I just think clarity in storytelling is... You fucking look like Petrina. That's the thing. You look like her. Yes. Oh. So what's your lie?

My lie is to tell her that the old man... He's on a farm upstate. Where is my special father, man? That he is waiting for you if you escape and help us. Where? Back at the temple. Free zone? Just a word?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sidebar. You're a monster. No, no. Look, Bobby, we need to... She knows all about this vampire shit. sidebar you're a monster no no look Bobby we need to we need to she's got

she knows all about this vampire shit we need to keep her like invested in this she's coming with us alright okay so you fall for this hook line

you'll take me to my Mr. Father Man that raised me if I help you Donovich oh Donovich of course I know his name I have it

I have it tattooed on my heart. I look directly into Irina's... Do you know how hard that was to get it tattooed on my heart? Very hard. I look directly into Irina's eyes and I say, you can trust us. I go, oh, notebook, I did not know.

And at that moment, 60 minutes has passed and instantly... Oh, gross! You suddenly see this pitiful halfling. He very small. But hands, look, yeah, I mean, like I'm a little guy but... Don't speak, please. It's a trigger now for me, your words. Well, er... I quickly pull Bobby aside and say, see, we owe her nothing.

You're right, fuck her. Er, you may apologise. Excuse me, Mr. Baston? I remember. Don't pretend like you don't know it. Honestly, Baston, it's tattooed on my heart. Do you know how hard it was to get that tattooed on my heart? You have no idea how much I love you and how always have loved you.

And I just wish that we could be special friends and go on a date to a pizza hut or something. Hang on a minute. Yes, I'm hanging. That sounds very nice. Yes. Not too close. Not too... But yes, I would be glad to... Are you afraid of closeness?

Did you... Should we speak that out? Look. Get over your problems? Look, look. Let me lie on your bosom. Oh, God. Oh, Baston, this is how it was meant to be.

Now I wanted this so long, and now I couldn't want it less. Oh, Baston. Somebody help. Oh, no. She's on me. But there is no one to help. The dragon friends are already searching the room, and Bobby's misguided searching has at last bore fruit.

Force, I'm too good for her. You have found in a distant annex of the library a dusted, old, decrepit chest with a powerful lock on it embossed with the symbol of House Strahd. Guys, come quickly. I race over to Bobby's chest. The chest. Don't pander, Hing.

What have you found? I found this chest. Can we use the key to open the chest? Sure, who's going to do it? Shotgun. I... Nobody else wanted it, mate. All right, I'm stepping up.

I ask Irina for the key. Okay, why not? I don't care. She gives you the key that has the same symbol on it. All right, I put the key into the lock, twist the lock and opened it and what some, I put the key into the lock, twist the lock, and opened it, and what's some gems? I will stop you right there for as soon as the key passes into the lock, quickly roll for me a dexterity check.

DC, 17. 18 plus dexterity, 3. That's 21. I nailed this. I nailed it. And you suddenly, with a pretty natural grace, rip your hands back. And good thing that you do for the moment that you do, a huge carnivorous set of teeth, barbed and wicked,

opens in the chest and it bites at the air, snapping towards you. For you are in combat with a mimic and it starts now and before it starts can I just say if you are drawing something please get it to that gentleman in the red jacket because I will be I'll go off and judge what it's a box with teeth yeah have you played Dark Souls does it have feet it does get has it probably has probably probably has two little feet. So it can't move very fast? Oh, there you go.

Got it, got it, got it. It's got horrible teeth and a big tongue and it's attacking you and I can't stress enough that I feel like this should be more action-packed than our little discussion. So, Bobby, you're up first. Oh, shitballs. Okay. I get my crowbar and I like throw it

into the mouth of the chest. Alright. I feel like you might be giving it your crowbar. I panicked. Listen, I panicked and I threw my crowbar into a talking chair. Make a dexterity check. All right. You're throwing your crowbar into...

That's an... You can do this. 11. All right. 11 plus 3. Oh, plus 5. Okay. Yeah, plus 3.

No, you don't have proficiency in crowbar throwing. I've got dexterity, isn't it? Oh, you don't have plus 5 dexterity, do you? Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. In that case, yes. So you throw it and it snaps at it and you have successfully fed it a crowbar.

Congratulations. All right. Who next? Baston, you're next. Oh, Baston whizzes by on a ladder. No, he should... Is that an entire romantic moment? Yeah, on a ladder.

On a moving ladder? On a moving ladder. Oh, against a? Yeah, on a ladder. On a moving ladder? On a moving ladder. Oh, against a... He's got a knife. I guess he'll try and slash at this chest with the knife. Excellent. All right. Okay.

Attack roll. 19. 19. I'm the best. Well done. All right. You hit it, D6. I've got a shitty...

Oh, it's a knife. Give me a fucking better weapon, Dave. Dag is a fucking shit. Four. All right. Congratulations. You do five points of damage to it. Sick. And it rears back in pain. The next

one up is Freezo. So the chest is made of wood, right? Yeah, it seems that way. So it's probably vulnerable to fire. Probably. I use the torch I lit before and I kind of like jam it into the mouth of the thing and burn it. Make an attack roll? I rolled a

ha-cha-cha. A two! Aww. I rolled a... A two. Oh. All right. All right, so you extinguish a torch. You have feted a torch. Congratulations. Damn it! Filch.

I'm going to jump on top of its head and try and slam it shut with the weight of my body. Great, okay. I need you to make a touch attack on it, so this will be a slightly easier attack. Twelve? Twelve. Twelve. That will do it with your strength. You are on top of it and you are attack on it. So this will be a slightly easier attack. 12? 12. That will do it with your strength.

You are on top of it and you are grappling with it. You're trying to keep it closed, which is making it harder for it to bite anybody else. So this is a mimic. So as you jump on it, it kind of turns into this amorphous,

blobbity blob, which kind of... Is that what it says in the book? A blobbity? Yeah. Well, it turns into this amorphous, blobbity blob, which kind of... Is that what it says in the book? A blobbity? Yeah. Well, it turns into... It uses... It attacks using...

It sprouts pseudopods. It doesn't give a fucking description of what a pseudopod is. But it says it sprouts them. So for you, that's blobbity blob. Yeah, it's like a blobbity blob. And it blobs onto her. It blobs. So it's kind of like wrestling around her.

Is it still a box? Nah, it's a blob now. You're just fighting a blobs. So it's kind of like wrestling around her. Is it still a box? Nah, it's a blob now. You're just fighting a fucking blob. So it's no longer wood? Has it got teeth still? Oh yeah, heaps of teeth. Yeah, never was a blob. Okay, so it's attacking you? So make it a bite attack? Oh yeah, bite, bite, bite. Nine.

Nine. Okay, so with your... That won't do it. Alright, so you managed to avoid its jaws for now and Irina, you're next. Oh, so with your... No, that won't do it. All right, so you managed to avoid its jaws for now. And Irina, you're next. Oh, okay. I'm going to put a curse on it using my bitching wrestling face. Okay, do I roll a dice? Or just do it?

Just do it. Okay. All right, that's a full action. Did it do any damage? Yeah. Bobby, you're next. Okay, how tall is this thing? And how, like, is it now made out of, like, flesh?

Like, Bill just made out of flesh? It's this angry and shifting through different forms and shapes. It's this kind of chameleon being. And the only thing that seems constant is this pulsating purple tongue and these rows of serrated teeth. Right. And it seems to be absorbing filch. Okay.

I grab some rope and I throw the end of filch. And I say, wrap this around you. And I like wrap it around any objects I can like. Yep, great. Like a buttress or something. Excellent. Okay, so that will be an advantage on your turn, Filge,

for trying to escape from it. And Bastogne. Oh, Bastogne. Your rotation has almost brought you around again. Bastogne is going to, I guess, try and punch it. Because that's his solution. I'm going to try and punch the blob that's on Filch. What did I get?

19. Yeah. Take that. So, so far, Baston is single-handedly taking it out. Friso? What is the dexterity bonus of this, of the mimic? How dexterous is it? It looks not very dexterous.

It looks clunky. I cast level two burning hands on it, which means it's got to make a 13 dexterity saving. You're going to burn the shit out of Filch. I can't help but point out that I'm inside that thing. Look, it's collateral damage. You're collateral damage. All right.

Filch, you feel a twinge of regret as you recognise the spell he's casting, but already arcs of Blue Witchfire are sprouting out from... Did it save? Come on! It failed its save. Alright, this is 4d6 coming at you, Filge. That is a 6, a 3, a 2, that's 11, plus 3 is 14. 14 points of damage. Now you make a dc30 in saving throw, Filge.

Oh no. Oh no. This is your dexterity. Plus four, nine. You, lunging towards the rope, you pull yourself free just in time. But you cannot help at that moment but feel that Frizo had not yet noticed you were free before he cast the spell. Oh, Filch. Oh, hey.

I did some damage to the mimic. I saw you make eye contact with me. Okay, the interestingly, at this point, it seems to scream in flame and dark smoke fills the room and then

as it clears, it seems to have disappeared and at that moment, you're not sure where it is. And now, next up, it is you, Filch. Oh, well, we don't know where it is. That's correct. Actually, you know what? At the beginning of your turn, make a danger sense check for me.

Willpower. Ten. Well, alright, yeah, you don't know where it is. I grab my maul and I start, like, swinging at the air like there's a mosquito. So are you hitting the air? Are you hitting the ladders? Are you hitting the tables? Are you hitting the bookcases? I'm hitting the bookcases. I think it's hidden behind the bookcase. Okay roll an attack. Books go everywhere. Excellent. Next up is Irina. I watch.

Bobby. Can I do a sort of a perception check? Yes, absolutely. All right. That's seven. Yep. There are books everywhere. I just...

Fuck me. Guys, I say let's get up the ladder to get vantage and get to the top of the room, see if we can see anything. Okay, great. Make a dexterity saving throw. That is 18 plus 5. The moment you hit the ladder, it seems to give in a kind of glutinous,

horrible, fleshy way. And at that moment, you realise that you are halting onto the mimic. And and there are more letters in the room than there were before so quickly because of your high role you can make an attack if you want I slashed it with my short sword yep great to all right yeah that's done you're gonna take this home for them yeah you're gonna punch that bitch on the dick. 11. Can I hit it?

No. Frizo? So I know where it is. Yep. And, all right. Bobby's found it for you, but he is standing in the epicentre. What? And I don't use that word lightly.

Who is? Bobby. Hey. Bobby is. All right, guest note, AoE spells. I'm going with the old Witch Bolt. So what's the armor class on this thing? This is your last spell of the day.

It's armor class 13. I rolled a 1 plus 5 is 6. Boo. What happens when you roll a 1 when you cast a spell? Yeah, I wonder what happens when you roll a 1 when you cast a Witch Bolt. A Witch Bolt Bobby, I assume. No, it wouldn't be successful. That's a D10. I'm going. I do 2 damage. Oh, 2 plus. No, what if it's successful? That's a D10.

I do two damage. Oh, two plus... How much spell damage? Plus five. Plus five? Dave, reign him in. I'm going to see where this goes, Alex. You don't have plus five. You do four damage to Bobby.

Four damage. Excellent. And now Phil. Fuck you. And now Phil. Fuck you. I'm going to try and lasso it with my grappling hook on the end of a rope. Yep, okay.

That's a 10. Plus your string? 14. 14, all right. So you're just trying to grapple it. You're not trying to do damage to it. You once again lunge in and you are trying to tie it down, which seems to be stopping it from escaping.

Irina, you're... I'm going to end its life. Okay. Do I get to roll the dice? Yeah, what are you picking up? She grew up in a bar or something. Surely she can, like... I'm going to end its life using a special curse of my hand.

Alright. She's going to choke the bitch out. The curse of my hand is a strangle. Right here. I'm a strangle today. You're going to try to strangle the mimic to death. That's going to need at least Two is not good.

I know this. I know this is not good. Great. Okay. M's going to need at least... Two is not good. I know this. I know this is not good. Great. Okay, Mimic. Oh, the Mimic is going to... Who's holding onto the Mimic right now? Well, right now, Irina is trapped in it. Phil is grappling with it.

Help me, Mr. Bastard. No, she tried to... I'm going to try and bite Irina. Because she tried to choke me. Okay. The Mimic. I'm the bad guy too. Miss. All right. to choke me. Okay. The Mimic. Oh, he's the Mimic. I'm the bad guy too.

Miss. Alright, you attack and you miss. And that means Bobby. I... So it's... What form is that at the moment? It's looking very injured, to be honest. It's burning, it's smoky, it's sooty after Bastogne's attack. It doesn't look like it's got a lot more life left in it.

There's flames on it? It's still on fire, yeah. Okay. Only just briefly, it's smouldering. I have a flask of oil that it. There's flames on it? It's still on fire, yeah. Okay. Only just briefly. It's smouldering. I have a flask of oil that I smash at the base of it where the flame is. Okay, very nice. Make a dexterity check against its touch attack, so just beat 12.

That will do it. And you hit it with a flask of oil, which means that it bursts into flame anew, It bursts into flame anew, dealing 14 points of damage, which means that it coughs its last and it's mouth forming again. It is able to say its last words. Fuck you. And it becomes at that moment a chest again and cranks open for you have defeated the mimic. Congratulations.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but challenge point two and there's five of them. Yeah, we are not good at fighting. That was like a lot. It took us a long time to kill that dumb chest. Yeah, we were fighting a box. We were fighting a box.

I have picked up Friso by the neck and pinned him against the bookshelf. Okay. What the hell, man? Deception check. Come on. I rolled a 7 plus 5 is 12. Does that do it? Why didn't you say it? And I'll tell you if it works.

Why are you doing me like this? I walk up to Friso. I thought you were possessed by Strahd. I go up to Friso and while he's held by the neck, I basically just grab his nuts in my hand and squeeze. And Baston wants to get in on this, so just comes in and starts grinding up on him.

And I bring out my video camera and I shoot the whole thing. Like, two of you misread this situation. No, no. Alright, so just to be clear, Bobby's hands smell like garlic. And...

Thank you. Do you still actually have your junk out? What? I never put... Those stripper pants, they're gone. Leave them behind.

Forget about them. I gave you a pair of pants at the beginning of this. What? No, the stripper pants. I ripped them off. I ripped off my the stripper pants. I ripped them off. I ripped off my baker stripper pants, threw them to... Anyway, not important.

Look. Regardless. Like a boss. I say to Felge, I misunderstood. I thought Strahd had cut... I thought the mimic... Because Strahd cast that suggestion on Bastion before. I thought that was happening again.

I thought I had to murder you. I'm sorry. I put my finger on his mouth. And like a little bit in, like a little bit under the lip. I put my finger... Don't worry about it. At my gums. I'm like, spell book now.

Spell book. I give Filch my spell book. I thank you. I let him go and he drops to the floor in a heap. As the morning makes its way into noon, the dragon friends regroup in a library on floor two and yet still two floors to go to find the vampire and win some measure of freedom for this land.

A vampire that now perhaps they have the knowledge they need to kill but the weapon still eludes them where to find this sword of Sergei the weapon of a brother scorned by a brother that may yet find answers and perhaps some power yet

to destroy the vampire if it can be wielded by a group, Motley and Three, known only as the Dragon Friends. Thank you. Dragon Friends is DM'd by David Harmon, with music this week by Liam and Dan Scarrett, and features the voices of Alex Lee, Michael Hing, Simon Greiner, Eden Lacey, and Ben Jenkins,

as well as this episode's Zoe Norton Lodge. Shakira Khan designs our website and the podcast is edited by me, Benny Davis, and sponsored by PAX Australia, the country's biggest video games and pop culture expo, on this year in Melbourne, November 4th to 6th. If you'd like to find out more and book tickets, visit thedragonfriends.com slash PAX. Thanks.