Dragon Friends - #3.06. The Drunk One with Kate Coates

Episode Date: May 3, 2017

"so they start in new york and they get away from the cops n meet edan at that bar but then it turns into a hideout and mr sour is there and then the roof opens and turns into a spaceship or something and they fly to LONDON which dave briefly forgets but then there's this mad mission impossible style break in to get into the matrix and then they have to be all ocean's eleven about gettin some stuff outta there and i think they're still in there when it ends it was real great cant wait for the next one" - Benny DavisOutro music remix of Girlfriend by Johnny Playstation produced by Gotifoo, check it out here https://soundcloud.com/gotifoo/girlfriend-dragon-friends Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Somewhere deep within the Lower East Side, you will find a dive bar by the name of the Glam Clam. A world apart from the glamour of the winding Fifth Avenue, a dive bar that even at this hour blares aggressive electronic music. The bar is the prearranged rendezvous.

Rendezvous. Not the right word. Of a motley crew known as the Dragon Friends, a safe house in plain sight owned by Horizon. Sparsely populated by a number of seedy-looking patrons, it is a place where you can find a measure of safety within the heady world of New York City.

Baston, you have been there for several hours now, but already you see your friends beginning to arrive. Dave, as they come into the bar, you see Baston slumped asleep on the bar, and as he wakes up, he

swallows the gum and goes, I have bested you, beast. I'm the best. That's all. Hello. Friezo, the high elf sight case waiting to happen.

Robert Pancakes, werewolf turned halfling. Sally Gunn bear, the bear that has a gun. And filled the asleep, snoring like a baby, half dead, half orc you find yourselves in the glam. Wait. Was one of my parents an orc and the other half dead? Undead, please. You know this. We've been doing this for two years.

Mummy was spooky. Bobson motions to the bartender, a rake-thin septuagenarian with a gnarled luminous disc where his eye should be, who nods and presses a button behind a filthy bottle of sake. Suddenly, the music cuts out, and the barflies vanish into light, literally as the distortion field that created them now powers down. And you find yourselves in a safe room with the gentle hum of obstruction

showing that everything that you say in this room is safe, for this is a horizon safe space. The dragon friends are struck by a kind of silence that they have not heard yet in this world or any world and the bartender adjusts his eye and a hologram appears at the centre of a filthy table and you see the face of your benefactor, patron, jailer even, Mr. Sour. I, uh...

Unconscious. No, I'm half dead, half orc. Thanks for reminding me. Make a death saving throw. Still, but I had a whole interval. I rested in the interval, so I could... You make it 11 plus, you wake up. You wake up.

Yeah! You have one hit point. Don't get too excited. I say, one drink, please, barkeep. So, Mr Sour blinks into existence. Can you hear me? Is this good line? Is it good line?

I can see you. You know it's a good line. Is this good line? You've made this. Yes know it's a good line. Is this good line? You've made this. Yes, it's good line. And I'm holding out my hand doing this. Is she okay? Like, gesturing for a drink.

Like, I'm getting impatient. Somebody gives you, you know what, the bartender septuagenarian gives you a glass of milk. Thank you. It's like, it's not even cool clockwork orange milk. It's milk. Thank you, Gavroche. Will it give me extra hit points? It's like it's not even cool clockwork orange milk. It's milk. Thank you, Gavroche. Will it give me extra hit points?

It's milk. Maybe because they beat all the... What was that? It's good for my bones. It's good for your bones. You're getting bullied by the audience. No, I'm not. They're helping me.

They're helping me. I should get some more milk points. You get one hit point. Go on, Mr. Sauer. Mr. Sauer says it's funny that you think this is time for asking for a drink when it's time you should be asking for a drink of mercy. It's not so good

as late here where I am. A drink of what? Mercy. It's French for thanks. And that's for you, Mr. Fuckboy. Bobby? By the way... Bobby Fuckboy! It's French for...

Thank you. Could you not... It's so simple. You go into the party, you say, Hello, I am Mr. Fashion Man. You set off alarm. I have to send in Sally Gunbear. Hello, Sally.

By the way, Robert Pancakes, the time that it's taken you to get into the bar, get reacquainted, meet the septuagenarian and so forth. It is now 4.30am and already in summer the light is beginning to shine. The moon has gone down and you have become the feeble, filthy, pathetic half-lame. Oh, come on! Look, I was doing a pretty good job up until a certain moon turned me into a werewolf. Yes, yes, yes. We'd all like to blame the moon for our problems.

Well, to be fair... Oh, my first marriage breaks down. Who's Mr. Moon's fault? There are so many things that the moon is responsible for. The tides, your marriage, this predicament. So, yes, let's blame the moon. Okay, fine. I was mad it's the wave.

My wave. Sorry. That's a really good joke. That's a great one. I'm going to reference it later so we have to keep it in. The cool thing about the first act of Dragon Friends is it's like a D&D show but we're drinking. The funny thing about the second act of Dragon Friends

is it's a D&D show that's right after the first act of Dragon Friends. My wave. It is a good show. I met somebody who listens to the podcast and was like, and had never come to a live show and was like, and he'd never come to a live show and was like, I don't understand like every second podcast

it's like really weird and loose. It's like, we're drunk. You can't tell because it's two weeks apart. The magic of podcasting. Anyway, Mr. Sauer goes on.

Tell me, tell me please, tell me, idiot, big person, sociopath and tiny, tiny man, I want to grab you so much.

Tell me you have something for me about where Johnny PlayStation is. I have defeated a piece of chewing gum. The handsome one is not allowed to talk anymore. Okay, um... And I don't mean me, I'm a wreck. Baston, I got this. Listen. Sour. Johnny PlayStation

is in Freeside? Is that a place? Is that near here? Oh. Explain how you know this. Glitter Gleam gave me the information before she disappeared.

She said that he'd been sent in a cryo cell to Freeside. If what you say is true, I will have Sally Gunbear verify it, and he motions that you take the note and make sure it says... So you have the card that Glitter Gleam gave Bobby Pancakes? I pick the note up with my claws, and I hold it about one inch from my face. I stare at it for about 45 seconds to a minute,

then put some sunglasses on and then can read it clearly. Oh, that's right. You're an extremely photosensitive bear. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on. Sorry, you put a pair of glasses on. They fell off. You put another pair of glasses on and were lost to the scuffle.

How many pairs of sunglasses do you have? Secrets. It's like that old riddle. How many pairs of sunnies does a bear have? Is it a sun bear? Oi! I'm a dad. Can you tell?

Gun Bear. Is what they say true? Is PlayStation really in Freeside? Oh, well, it seems like on this piece of card it is true. I hate this voice so much. The writing seems right, and against any other better judgment, we have to believe him.

But it's signed by D. The initial D. Who could that be? This is so above your pay grade it's like stupid. Well that's just hurtful frankly. Do you know what will be hurtful for you? If I don't give you antidote to sex

in the back of your neck. That's right. Mispronunciation aside. Mispronunciation aside. Mr. Sour has a point. A reminder that all of you, Friso, Bastogne, Obby, you have myocardic toxin embedded in the back of your neck

that at any moment could burst, rendering you paralytic. I thought we had a week. Possibly even dead. We've got a week, though, right? Yes, what do you do after that week? You don't know how long you have. Go to the beach? He said a week.

Yes, you have a week. Is working week or regular week? Phil, Jess, look, this fuck-up, as you say, is now your fuck-up too. Horizon will not be too happy that you've let the whereabouts of PlayStation get so far as Freeside. What's Freeside? At that point, Filj, the vision of Mr. Sour vanishes and you see a montage of different news networks talking about a horrific terrorist attack that has happened in the upper swanky suburbs of New York City. The Guggenheim under siege, possibly at the hands of a junior vice president of Horizon Corp Japan division, who is now missing, assumed dead, her aircraft already confiscated.

And of course, the police, NYPD Inc., humiliated at the hands of these terrorists, already absconded with devastating stock portfolio ramification. And Phil presses her nose up against the projection, and Phil's like presses her nose up against the projection and she's like oh this no good.

Me feel sorry for this executive. Me must know her. Maybe me ran into her at Water Fountain. Me glad me not her right now. Just a sour bag? Yes. This is the

fuck up I have to mop up. This is why I sent Sally Gunbear, the best, to mop up your stupid shit. You should not be laughing, you. I have sack in the back. Never mind. Finish that thought.

You have sack in the back of your head. But the point is, if, as you say, through the PlayStation release in Freeside, there is very little we can do to retrieve him. What's Freeside?

Okay, so like, I do not know why you are so simple. I've been here three days. I do not presume to know, but the most famous structure built by mankind, and you go, oh, what is it? I don't know. That's how you sound, by the way, when you talk. You sound like that. And at that point, a vision behind the projection of Mr. Sauer shows a structure.

It seems a gleaming spire of metal and chrome that erupts from the globe and forms a kind of space elevator, a structure floating above the Earth in synchronous orbit. Oh, yeah, me know that place. Me had corporate retreat there. Oh, V, good team building exercises. Me learned improv.

This is bizarrely true. Phil, you spent eight hours in Freeside Once at a corporate training seminar. And I know exactly where that is. In space. Yes. It's in space.

In space! Jump, I say, and then I freeze. There is one way... Oh, boy. To be able to get to Freeside and spend enough time there to retrieve the asset. You... Keep going. Keep going.

We can get you in space elevator to become a resident of Freeside, but you need to be on database. That is impossible. Why is it impossible for us to be on the database? Because it is an airlocked, self-contained server that lives in the middle of the central bureaucracy building in London. Oh!

In fact, at that point, you see behind Sour again, images show of an incredibly fortified compound, a megacorporate holding cell for data in the middle of the United Kingdom, which is known as the Zurich Orbital Gemeinschaft Bank. The what? The Zog Bank. Zurich Orbital Gemeinschaft.

Like Volksgemeinschaft, which means the people's mineshaft. Absolutely does not. Absolutely does not. Absolutely does not. Absolutely does not. So the Zurich Orbital Gemeinschaft Bank is a Germano-Anglo data facility which is responsible for the comings and goings of citizens across the world, corporate and geolocated.

Of course, to make access to Freeside, the only space elevator at the top of what is known as the needle one must be listed as a citizen of Freeside and the only way to do that is to be recorded in the records and annals of the Zurich

Orbital Command Shaft Bank Okay and Sauer goes look there is one way to do this and it could kill you, but to be honest, I do not, how do you say, care. So, look, we need to get you to the building.

We cannot hack it remotely. I'm dying. And I've lost the ability to talk. Now who has sex in the back of their neck? Basically, we cannot hack it remotely, but if we get somebody into the central server node, then Gunbear can do her stuff. At this point, he shows you a design of a data spike,

which is a piece of technology you are familiar with, Gunbear, which is a local node for hacking which will allow Sour remote control of any Megacorp data facility. Wait a minute. Are we going to go into the Matrix? Maybe, Simon. Are you talking about the very successful

1999 film? Yes, by the Wachowski siblings. So, Freezer pipes up and says to Sour, all right, so how do we get from here to London? Oh, I don't know, you walk. What the fuck do you mean? Like, I have a plane. As he says that, powerful vibrations seem to break around you,

and the septuagenarian bartender clicks a button under his bar, and the roof of the Glam Clam seems to open as your trench coats and suits and fur, I suppose, are buffeted by the wind as above you, you see beating overhead, powerful floodlights controlling your every movement. You see a Sikorsky Skycrane, a huge megalifter helicopter of a style that you recognize as pre-war, and by that I mean the 2040 World War 3 pre-war design

of a giant megalifter, which is already descending a freight crane landing platform down full of crates into the floor of the dive bar. Hovering overhead. I feel bad because I've been very harsh to you.

I called you tiny man. I called you sociopath. What? You, I think, are left alone. Big stupid idiot. Okay, well, that's fine for me. But now I am like how you say Santa Claus. I give you all the gifts for this heist. To you, Bobby Pancakes.

A kiss. A secondary kiss. Hang on, do you want that or do you To you, Bobby Pancakes. A kiss. A secondary kiss. Hang on, do you want that? No, no, no. Every other time we've been about to give you presents, you've asked for things. Yeah, give me a present. Open this crate, and there's a crate that's closest to you.

And there's a crowbar next to it. I open it. All right, inside you see a beautiful red metallic chrome motorbike that seems to hum with potent energies, even as Mr Sour describes it. Best on, my idiot friend. Even... OK. It's a Microline Kaneda 650, which is a motorbike with...

Some of you get that reference. Why? Tell us why that is funny. Is it the one from Akira? Yeah. So this is a motorbike that has thermoptic dampening technology and twin-mounted beanbag launchers. So it has guns at the front of it and it can go invisible for a minute.

Wait, both of mine? That's yours. It's yours. You get it. Oh, wow. You're like a child. Me? For me? So, yeah, that's a Microline Kaneda 650.

Best done. Please. This smaller crate. All right. This is a small, long case. And he tries to open it with his hands. It takes hours. But once you have pried it loose, you find inside what seems like a long shape

wrapped in a heavy brocaded cloth. I undo the cloth? Inside that cloth, you see what seems to be a long metallic object, a shape that you have recognized, but one that you probably thought you would not see again. It is, in fact, a long, heavy, long sword, and you recognize by its design and craftsmanship. It is the name sword of Sergei Von Zarovich,

the magical sword that was lost to you from season two. We find this by your body when we find you, and I think maybe now it's time to give back. How do I write it? I thought you would have been more excited. I'll figure that out. Filge, please, take the even smaller box. I grab it and I punch it open.

Okay, sure. Inside you find what seems to be almost like a keyboard, but covered with electrodes and a small screen. This is, in fact, on top of it is proudly proclaimed Shiawassee Cyber 5 Cyber Deck. And this is, for you, a very special item. This is what passes for a third-generation futuristic computer, and this is a tool with which one can access the matrix, that impossible magical world.

You look so disappointed. What did you want? Big, big gun. Sussie, you've got to be the nerd on this adventure. No, I'm the jock. Oh my bloody goodness, is that really what I think it is?

Oh, God. And he goes, can I play? I'm not very forward, but can I please touch it with my... I got mitts off point, Dexter. And I shove him across the room. Alright, I got a computer. What does it do? And Bobson's

like, what? What? Bobby says, can you play Snake on it? And then... Even smaller box next to it. Sal is like, and you, Friso. Yes? I have not forgotten you.

Please, open the box. I think I missed you most of all. Please, open the box. I think I missed you most of all. I, um, I, uh, Frito opens the box. What does he do? What does he get? Inside the box, you see a twin of something quickly recently departed of you. It is a Colt.45 pistol.

It's a gun! I got you another gun. How did he get a gun? What do you get, the man who has a gun. I got you another gun. How did he get a gun? What do you get? The man who has a gun? Another gun. So he like big cowboy men. I lunge at the hologram and tongue kiss it. As like a thank you. Anyway, Gun Bear, you have everything you need. Please make sure that at least some of them don't die Oh, wait

I can't help but notice that all these lovely young people got presents And, well, you know, it was my birthday last week And it seems like you've not got any little crates Oh, yes Oh, it's Gun Bear No, of course, there is another Jenny? Jenny? And he looks off to the side of the hologram

Did we not have another crate for... That's Jenny for you. That's Jenny! Do you know what? Do you know what? I'm going to do it. Jenny, you are fired.

Stop crying. She's crying. She's so sad. But she... Sally Ganbert is very important to me and you let... You forgot. So you are out. Oh, that's all right, Mr. Sour.

You know, Jenny was telling me that her whole family is dying. She's going to stop you there for a second. And she needed money for medicine. Sorry, Kate. But now all of a sudden she's been fired. I guess this is the best birthday present after all. Kate.

That strongly suggests that he didn't make Jenny up, which is fine, I guess. Can I just... An episode ago you started this character inexplicably Irish, but I've got a feel at the moment I'm just getting a lot of Sam Gamgee laughter laughter

oh you know Mr Frodo laughter share the lows laughter she's a huge fan of Lord of the Rings but of course those are the stories that really matter You know, the ones that really meant something

You and I Stop, stop No more quotations, Peter Jackson will come for us Yes, well, with that unpleasantness taken care of, please hop on plane London, bye bye And by the plane he means of course the Sikorsky Sky Crane because the freight elevator

is already lifting and your motorbike, sword, nerd shit, and gun are already being lifted into the sky. Gun Bear shows you

how to carabiner yourselves onto the harness and with the whoosh of dust, the Sikorsky Sky Crane takes off for a new adventure is already awaiting you in the new United Kingdom. All of you take one hit dice of life,

of hit points back, and I guess, Friso, if you decide to ignore everyone and take a rest, you can have all your spell slots back. And I guess Friso, if you decide to ignore everyone and take a rest, you can have all your spell slots back. What does that mean, Dice? We get to roll and then we get those. Oh, for fuck's sake. What? I suggest that we

stick to these codenames for the rest of the mission. So Simon, you're Motorbike, I'll be Sword, Hing, you're Gun, and Alex, you're Nerdshit. I'll be sword, Hing, you're gun, and Alex, you're nerd shit. And Sally can be birthday girl. Oh, that's good. That's good.

Okay, so we all get kind of hit points back and spell slots. So I roll for it? Yeah, you just get one to hit ties back. And does Bobson get stuff back? Oh, Bobson, your present is the most important of all, says Sour. Well, does... Because he's on the crane. Yep.

Is there a room? What is a crane? No, so imagine like a freight... Okay, a Sikorsky Skycrane is the most powerful heavy lifter old Russian surplus helicopter that exists. So it is actually capable of carrying wide loads like tanks. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is it carrying the bar?

No. But it is capable of carrying, for instance, your Kaneda 650. It's capable of carrying all of the Dragon Friends and their new gear. Like to London. To London. Are there pants on this? What? Because Bobson needs some pants.

Ah! Because Frito has the piss pants. Oh, hang on. Well, well, well, Bobson, it appears I have something you want and you have something I want. Your allegiance. Well, gosh, I mean, trading poo pants for piss pants. You belong to me, Bobson, I say, stepping in front.

You're my assistant. Slave. Yes, but why don't... And then I go, slave, so that everyone can hear it. Yes, but, I mean, look, in a material sense, he has slightly less soiled pants for me. And I've got to say, this is a very, very low moment for Bobson Dugnut, but is it the lowest?

Absolutely not. All right. Bobson Dugnut, I will give you these piss pants. Bobson, I will give you these piss pants for but one favour that I ask at any time. What? Like at some point I'll ask you to do a thing, and you were sworn to do that thing for me but I'll give you the piss pants now.

Don't take it. It's a bad smell and nobody likes it. Wait, does this mean that... Wait, are these extra pants that you're carrying around that are soaked in urine? If you remember back to episode one or two or maybe three I think it was three.

Bobson pissed himself in a cupboard and Hing took the pants that Bobson had discarded. Right, okay. So all he's doing is trading up from shit-covered pants to piss-covered pants. Well, I think he'd agree that that's a pretty good trade. In the absence of good pants. Oh, sure, we don't like the pants that you're wearing.

Six hours later. The Sikorsky Sky Crane has made its way firstly across the Pacific Ocean and then found itself. They went via Japan. They went the wrong way. There was a refueling in Japan. Don't overthink it. The Sikorsky Sky Crane has found itself in low altitude hover mode over the new United Kingdom and nearby the Zurich Orbital Gemeinschaft Bank.

Sally Gunbear is giving you your final briefing. This institute holds the servers that allow one access to the Freeside Registry and it is your target. However, it is incredibly securely controlled this time by

the Arenraku group, another one of the megacorporations. In fact, this time one of the Big 12, one of of the megacorporations. In fact, this time one of the Big 12, one of the biggest megacorporations on Earth. Now, the Gemeinschaft Bank is incredibly locked down. However, it is up to

you to find your access to it. A low orbital pass over it in this stealth-modified sky crane will allow you access to the ceiling, and you are in fact about to abseil down. This is your last chance before you make contact. So it's like it just doesn't have a roof? It's just like hollow?

That is absolutely not what I said. It's not what he said at all, really. You're about to land on the roof of the building. Yeah. Are you familiar with Roo? No, sorry, what? How do we get through the roof, though? We'll work that out when we land on the roof.

Can I ask a question, Bobson? Sorry, can I just say, Alex, if you're at a point where you're confused and Ping is explaining to you what happened... But where is Alex Lee? So, Bobson, do we have comms? Can we talk to each other? Oh, actually, the last, before you left,

Mr Sour indicated and the bartender gave you all microbeads, which are small devices that fit in your ear, which mean if you whisper below any opportunity for anyone to hear, you can all hear each other as if you were shouting. Did you say microbees? Micro-bees. Hello, bees. This is a-bees. Hello, bees. This is a micro-beed.

Okay, got it. Are these poison as well? You've got to tell us if I ask. That's a rule. And Bobson goes, they go in your bum. You're just shitting right out of here. Sorry, does this variety of micro-beed go in your bum? Well, Bobson thinks they do.

I cannot stress enough that these will work in any orifice. But Bobson sticks his up his bum. The important thing you've got to know about the beads is that they go in your bum. So Dave, just to clarify... And then he sees that everybody has them in his ear. There he is. And he goes,

Oh, yeah, right. I just want to point out that literally the joke there was a goblin put a bead in his bum. That was the extent of the comedy we were doing there. Do you remember like a month ago you were doing...

Hovering over. A very well-reviewed play? It's a distant memory. No, sorry, Kate. Shut up. It's the point that they smuggle me in and then I do the little tinkering on the computer. Yeah, this is absolutely right. And this is a good question to ask.

In fact, a reasonable question. And therefore useful as opposed to the waste of time that is happening. So your mission is to deliver Sally Gunbear to the central core server in the basement of the Zurich Orbital Gemeinschaft Bank

and therefore allow you to spike it with your data spike, which will give Sauer control of the database and let him enter you all as free citizens of Freeside. That sentence ended better than I thought it would. When we

land on the roof, Sally flicks open her little arm thing again and pulls out So you're all abseiling down to the roof? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does Sally the character call it her arm thing? No, she calls it my little baby. And she clicks it open and pulls out a little electric razor

and says to everyone else, now, I don't know if you know a thing or two about humans and bears, but I can tell you this for free. If I try and get in there and anyone sees even one iota of bear hair, they're gonna kill me dead before you can say zippy zoo. So. Do you do this before any mission?

Yes. And then I say, now, which one of you pretty little delicate hands is gonna take all of Sally's fur off her hairy, hairy back? I volunteer. And she hands him the electric razor and huddles over.

This takes me back to my days as a stable boy. And Bastogne slowly, erotically shaves Sally Gunbear. Meanwhile... I don't know if anybody's seen a shaved bear. I happen to have. No, you haven't! That is bullshit! No a shaved bear. I happen to have.

No, you haven't. That is bullshit. No, I have. I've seen one on the internet. On the internet. They don't look like people. Sure, because they're not wearing clothes. Can I stop you right there and say that Bastogne, Sally Gunbear, Filge, Freeza, you are all on the roof.

Filge is? No, sorry, Filge isn't. Bobby, you are. Where am I? Well, that's a good question because Bobson, Dugnut and Filge as the nerds of the group. Just a couple of nerds hanging out. Me not nerd, me big jock. You know what I love?

I love Bloody Nutella. What? The thing that I like. The two of you are sitting. The two of you are sitting in the cockpit of the Sikorsky Sky Crane and you are now unwrapping your incredibly expensive Shiawase

Cyber 5 cyber deck. And already, Bobston Dugnut is explaining how to use it. Alright, well, gosh, it would be actually a bit easier if I did it, but it's a foul thing that had to be used. Alright, here we go. Look, basically, we're going to jack you in.

Byfield's drink first. Look, leave the electrodes and he takes the basically, it's not really electrodes, Filch, drink first. Look, these electrodes, and he takes the... Basically, it's not really electrodes. It's like a headset. They're little plastic suction cups, and he sticks them on your forehead, Filch. Look at this thing. This thing is going to the brain,

and this thing is the interface with the bloody cyberspace. And then I hit this button, and everything goes black. By the way, at this point you also notice that Bob's and Dugnut is dressed in what seems to be knee to t-shirt arm length streamlined. What? Have you ever seen the movie Tron? Gotcha. This is my hacking gear.

So anyway, here's what's going to happen. When I press this button, things are going to go... He's also wearing like a swimming cap, but it has electrodes on it. Now look, when I press this button, things are going to get pretty freaky for you. Yeah, me, no. You said everyone will be black. Is that what you said? Oh, I said everything will go black.

Oh, Phil wasn't listening. Anyway, I'm going to press this button. Before I do, you're going to kind of conk out a little bit, but then you're going to be in cyberspace, and I'm going to stand guard in case any nasties try and hurt you. Quack. How will Filge know that

she can trust you? Well, I've worked for you for about seven or eight months, and I think I have a pretty exemplary... Sally comes up right behind him and holds her down. No, you're on the roof. We're on the roof. We already abseiled down.

Inside the heli. Eddie, why? Sally stays where she was. All right, at that point, points of light seem to appear. The world goes black, and you find yourself in the world of cyberspace, a world of 3D shapes, geometric and otherwise, and color that seems to coalesce as already you can see on the horizon this the new york city grid that pyramid

of light and power that represents all data flowing into this city um which is already united kingdoms which i've forgotten so you see it well because you have travelled from there, and instead you see also another pyramid, maybe more important, perhaps I should have started with, which is the central data route of these United Kingdoms. I'm begging you, just go with it oh yeah me get it yourself a formless

shape of light and power you feel for the first time free in your life unshackled from gravity unshackled from that meat space that you once dwelled you are now free to flit as points of data through this space. Buzz, buzz, I'm a cyber bee. You cannot help but feel, Field, that this is something that was meant for you.

This is a space you were meant to inhabit, and your very synapses thrum with psychic energy as you realize that you can control this world from inside. You are a natural hacker. Ooh, which one of these bits of light... ..will I go into? Oh, I lack the basic understanding to be in this world. At this point, a small...

A small psychic being, which you recognise the shape of, Bobbson Dugnut, appears. He seems to be wearing what one dork might think is cool futuristic clothing, but to you, you feel is like a strange, kind of sexy barbarian harness worn by a fat dork. Hello, I'm here too.

I have some electrodes that I plugged them in and I put them into the thing and then I put the electrodes in my butt. Here I am. Dave, just so, just, sorry, can we... Yeah, no, you can sidebar this. Yeah, are we in the green bit

of the matrix? Yes. So we're like numbers. I'm in the numbers bit of The Matrix. Yes. So we're like numbers. I'm in the numbers. I'm in the green numbers. No, that's probably not the best way to think about it. No, that's fine. Is it kind of like if The Matrix was that big blade in The Simpsons? Did you ever see that movie Hackers?

He goes into 3D World and it's just like a grid and it's like lights and shapes. Did you ever see that movie Hackers? I did actually. I had to watch it for a gig. It's on Netflix now. It's the best. It's horrible. That's Dave's movie reviews did, actually. I had to watch it for a gig. It's on Netflix now. It's the best. It's horrible. That's Dave's movie reviews.

You could have told me to watch it. You are basically inside a program. Yeah, yeah, the green bit. Yeah, and you can... Got it. On your left is the West Atlantic cyber grid. To your east and around you is the United Kingdom's central data transfer hub. And I have

all power, I'm all powerful? Well, you can go wherever you want. You can go wherever you want. You're a little buzzy cyber bee. And you can already see that cluster of ice and information that is the Zurich Orbital

Gemeinschaft Bank. That's where we're going to go on ahead because these guys are on the roof. We're going to need to take control of that building. All right. I go to fly towards it, but before I do, I grab Bobson by his cyber collar. He's a tiny fairer. Imagine, yeah, okay, sure, he's wearing a collar. You've imagined him as you see him,

which means that you've seen a sexy slave in a G-string and collar and with tiny fairy wings. I give him a kiss on the mouth and then I say, if you cross me, me will kill you. And then I flap off because I'm a little cyber bee towards the thing. Yep, sure. Yep. Towards the thing. Yep, sure.

Yep. And so you dive headfirst into the data cluster that is the Zurich Orbital Gemeinschaft Bank, ZOG Bank, as hackers know it, and you find yourself inside. And already you can see switches, pylons, the ability to control this space. There is already, you can see the air conditioning system, the ventilation shafts.

It is all arrayed as a spectacular grid of points of light and numbers in front of you. And now you find yourselves on the roof of the building, Bobby, Friso, Sally, Baston. By now, Baston has reached Sally's face and is shaving the sides of her face, but they've slowed down. They could have finished a long time ago, but have chosen not to.

We're really taking our time. Yeah, yeah. And he's just kind of slowly going up the side of her face. Yeah, if anything, it is unnecessarily. Yeah, real slow. And she's making like, if you've ever heard a rat, when a rat's happy, it goes like. She's making like a bear equivalent of that, which is like...

OK, great. Is this like weirdly erotic? Yes, so erotic. I'm just really upset that I've never heard a happy rat. I'm just realising that now. It's called Bruxy. OK, you're shaved. Congratulations.

So you find yourselves on the floor and already you can, through your microbeads, you can make communication to Filge if you want to. Filge! I was just doing definitely professional things. How did you go? How did my little Filgy Filge go? Did you find a special spot? Me and the green bit. Special spot. Me in the green bit.

Now, you can see already the roof is covered. In fact, you can already see that it seems to be an abandoned wasteland. However, the ventilation shafts that form the air conduits through the building are jammed closed. Me can help you with that. You can help with that. Yeah. And I, like, flap up to the ventilation shaft button and I say beep boop boop boop, beep boop boop boop.

And it opens. Now the funny thing about the Matrix is that however someone visualises it is how it is. So D10 to open the ventilation shaft. DC10, you've got plus... Fifteen! Yeah. So you make your beep-beep-boop sounds

and while Bobson is frankly horrified, the ventilation shafts crank and grind open out of sequence as the building opens itself to you. Is there stairs inside the ventilation shaft? There are ventilation shafts inside the ventilation. Do I have my motorbike? Sorry, go on. Do I have my motorbike?

Did you bring your motorbike to infiltrate a secure data facility? Actually, if it drops you on the roof, it can drop you down, sure. Yeah. You want it? Yeah. Okay. I rode my motorbike down the shaft. Yes!

All right. I'm going to allow that. So you awkwardly, slowly... Like I'm straddling it and walking it up to the liver of the shark. Yeah, sort of sitting there in neutral. Just quickly, what are my powers of the motorbike again? It is a beanbag gun that fires from the front, one shot only, but two twin-linked shots.

And it also has... Why are you doing this? It has a thermoptic camouflage system which will allow it to go, and you, to go invisible for one minute. Well, I think that'll be useful. I turn that on. What?

Were you in the shaft? Yeah, I don't want them to detect me. You very awkwardly bring a motorbike Turn that on. What? Were you in the shaft? Yeah, I don't want them to detect me. You very awkwardly bring a motorbike into the air ventilation shaft. Which is like, sorry, can I ask for some clarification here? Go ahead. Does the shaft just drop? Yes. Oh, so not a classic shaft.

What is a classic shaft? No, just like an easy decline down. Do you mean a useful shaft for Simon Griner to bring an imaginary motorbike down? Bobby Pancakes. I'm thinking of more like a wet and wild water slide. Like a spiral. I'm going to say you can awkwardly, painfully bring your motorbike down into this building.

A building that you may not reclaim your motorbike from. In which case you will definitely in the future wish that you had not lost your motorbike inside a Zog Bank building. So, the motorbike, you awkwardly make your way down and soon you find yourselves inside the archives. Level 12 to 15. Sam, do they just follow him down the shaft? What do you do? All right, so... So, Bobby just...

Yeah, follow him down the shaft. That was very easy. You make your way down the shaft And soon you find yourselves inside Late at night in the UK In the abandoned archives Are there any guards? This is a good question So you soon find

An exit point from the Ventilation shaft And you find yourselves in the archives. This is stack, essentially. This is an area where data goes to die. And it seems to be at this late hour abandoned. You are now on level

14 of this building. You've been told that the central processing core is in the sub-basement. So you are some 16 levels above where you want to be. I look for an elevator. I look for the stairs. All right, you...

You're splitting the party? No, I'll look for an elevator too. But if we don't find one, I'll look for the stairs. You find your way to the elevators. Now, a function of this building is, of course, these incredibly secure areas. You can't call one out of the stairs. You find your way to the elevators. Now, a function of this building is, of course, these incredibly secure areas. You can't call an elevator from here, so you are going to need to find a way to bring the elevator to you.

Bilge, bring us the elevator. We're in the archives. Is Phil as if she's slow? Like, the longer that she's in the Matrix, like, the more she understands it? Yeah, she's in, if anything, a natural. If that's true of you, which I'm not... Uh-huh.

Phil just like, no problem, boys and bear. Hey, is that a reference to the band Boy and Bear? No, it's a reference to her favourite type of berry. Don't clap that. I thought it was good. And she goes, just one moment, I'll just speak to it. And then she goes, elevator,

please retrieve my friends from... Make an intelligence check, DC-12. Because you can talk computer now, and that's how computers sound. Filch does not have high intelligence. No, make it advantaged. You have two chances at this, DC-12. But Bobson is helping you.

So you need to beat 12 with Filch's abysmal intelligence. Aw. 19 will do it. 19 will do it With a perfect superfluous almost wheeze and a beep, an elevator appears for you

And it gives me a compliment The program or the elevator? The elevator I guess is The elevator should give Filge a compliment. You're looking nice today. Thank you, elevator. And the elevator wheezes open. We go inside.

It was like, Filge, can you take us all the way down to the place we need to go? Now, this is interesting. Okay, so the sub-basement is locked for standard elevators. Unfortunately, you need Corpsec security or vice president or higher security for Renraku Global Inc. So you don't have that at the moment, and without those credentials, you can't make your way to the sub-basement. You can, however, control yourself through the archives,

through the employee strata structure, or you can go to the public lobbies. Let's get as low as we can. So what's the ground floor, the lobby? Yeah. We're in the lobby. And are there any of those people, are there any credentials in the building right now?

You have a motorbike in the elevator. Yep, and I've got a plan. We come down to the lobby and the doors open and we're like ladies and gentlemen of Renroku, we have a special giveaway for employees of the building. We need to

we've randomly generated a lottery and all we need to do is check your employee ID and you could drive away tonight with this motorbike. Make a charisma. Alright, alright, okay. Alright, so that succeeds

and a junior vice president of the company who is named Ah! Sorry? No, no, no, no, I'm sorry, but the Canadian 650 was enough. So, its name is Dykel Carmichael.

I'd like to win a motorbike. I'd like to win a motorbike for driving and whatnot. Is he Welsh? Is he Northern? I think he might be Welsh. That's not Welsh. He's definitely not Welsh. No, he's a Northern. He's Northern.

I know where I'm from. That's like Somerset. And it's somewhere. He's from Somerset. I'm from Somerset and I bloody love a motorbike. These are the two things I know about myself. In that voice, can you say, Philge, you're a wizard now? Filge, you're a wizard now?

Filge, you're a wizard now. And then from somewhere inside in the building, you hear, yay! Dykel Carmichael approaches you, Bobby. Are you in the elevator? No, we've come out of the elevator. With a motorbike. Oh gosh, well I really hope that

my bloody ticket is the one that wins the motorbike. And I take and I go, Mr. Deichel Carmichael? Deichel Carmichael for Feigl Lane. So all we have to do now is head down to the sub-basement, put this employee pass into the mainframe, which will unlock the motorbike. Your biometric...

Oh, no! Hang on just a one moment here. That's definitely another charisma check, because that is some... No, no, I don't want them to think you cheated. This is right here. You need to make 12. That's a 19.

Mr. Carmichael, sir. Today is your lucky day. Oh, gosh. Head on down. And then Filch makes all the loudspeaker systems say, congratulations, Mr. Dimeichel. Unnecessary. Unnecessary.

But intelligence saving throw. Like intelligence throw DC-12. Me? No, Filch. I'll just pull it off. I'll just pull it off, right. Pull it off. But I'm best friends with a computer now.

Well, I got a nine. Okay. All of the symbols. All suddenly, Daikel, Carmichael, all of the PA systems in the lobby just exhibit powerful

static like angry bees. Hello, bees. Are the bees back? That's a traditional lucky bee. This is a Japanese motorcycle, and the lucky bee is a stereotype of Japanese luck. I mean, far be it for me to look a gift motorbike in the mouth

as I say, let's go down to the sub-basement. Charisma saving throw, DC11. Me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. To see if you work this out. That's a 10. All right, you know, that's fine for a junior executive. Plus two.

So you... Oh, no, sorry, yeah, plus two. No, you think something is going on. Well, hang on a second. Last time I was told I won a competition, they said you'd won a bloody hover dog. They said it was a dog that hovered from... Let me tell you, they told me...

By this stage, by the way, he's already... Can I just say, you've brought him into the elevator, so you were travelling down to the sub-basement. So you are separated from the lobby with him, but he now thinks something is up. Anyway, turns out it was just a dog with the legs cut off. So, I don't know, I mean, Dykel McMichael's not feeling particularly good about this transaction anymore.

Are we on the sub-basement level? We're still travelling. This is the vice-president of the company, isn't it? This is the vice-president? This is one of many. Oh, junior. Yeah, there's about six junior vice-presidents. His corporate ID embedded in the back of his neck

would be enough to travel you through to the sub-basement. Yeah, Dykle, that is why we have three members of HR with us today to make sure nothing like that happens again. I am a HR. Right, and who are you? I pull out my gun. This shit's going dry. I'm not

taking any risks, and I say, give me your neck! Well, if a man asks for his neck, we've got, yep, sure. And he gives it. Make an intimidation check, Friso. I mean, what does he need to beat, really? You're an idiot, so DC 10.

Beat 10. 15. Did it. I jam his neck into the sensor. All right. Your neck is jammed into the sensor, and the elevator starts to go down. Yep.

Well, I bloody hope I'm getting a motorbike at the end of this. Serious? You mean this is a lot of work to do for a motorbike, but I mean, I guess it's definitely worth it. You just threatened you

with a gun. Yeah, no, I just see, are you... It's a new HR policy. I just love working for United Airlines. Sorry, like, I'm... Very topical.

Oh, shit! Very topical, you guys. I'm... Very topical. Oh, shit! Very topical, you guys. Topical. Very topical. Ring-a-ding-ding, that's the topical bell. I will say that this... I reckon there's definitely a PR person at United Airlines who goes, oh, this was a shitty week,

but I don't reckon any Dungeons & Dragons podcasts are going to pick up on this. And I also reckon this is going to go to air in about a month's time. And everyone's going to be like, nicely and tired. Very dated. The reason that Dykel McMichael is going...

Dykel McDykel? Dykel Carmichael. Dykel Carmichael. From Five Ficle Lane. He's going... He's acquiescing. He's been threatened by a gun and he's been shoved against it. He's the only's acquiescing He's been threatened by a gun He's been shoved against

He also has no ability to distinguish Between a human and a shaved bear Well see what you like about the Carmichaels but we are Very stupid people This whole time Sally has been Pointing to a tattoo that she has underneath one of her nipples that just says, I love being human.

Filch. Filch. At this point, with a rogue, let's face it, terrorist cell at loose in the Zurich Orbital Gemeinschaft Bank, ancient security systems are already blinking into life and you can feel, even incorporeal figure that you are, Ancient security systems are already blinking into life, and you can feel, even incorporeal figure that you are, that a figure is coalescing before you,

and soon you see the face and indeed body of a strange digital figure. Oh. Oh. So, um... In my... In my system, much? Quickly, Filch, make an intelligence check, DC-10. Eleven, you're twinked very well. So, you recognise this through presumably Bobson's very brief training that this is a piece of ice.

This is an intrusion countermeasure. This is a limited AI construct which is designed to protect the Zog bank from intrusion from a hacker, which unfortunately you are currently being. Can I make myself into any

form? You can. You can but everything else in this being, in this version of the matrix can also do that. So form is not an incredibly powerful ability. i form into the ice's immediate superior controlling system sorry no so this ice which has formed itself in the body

of what seems to be a prim woman with a silver frosted hairdo who is sitting in a severe suit. What do you perform yourself as? You do not know this figure. This figure is meaningless to you. Yeah, but I've got all the computers. No. No, no, no. You just have to tell me what your shape you are now forming.

Like what is a superior form to a woman? Yeah, what do you think it is? No, superior, like as in sorry. What is a superior form to a woman in business, what do you think it is? No, superior, like, as in, sorry. What is a superior form to a woman in business? I wasn't clear. I am turning myself into its boss. But you don't know what that is. Well, it's a

bigger version of her. Okay. Alright, so a shift and a shimmer of numbers and suddenly Vilge becomes the form of a woman with a frosted haircut and a severe suit that is some two metres taller than you, Ben. And then I say, acting outside of your pay grade much?

I'm not entirely sure what's happening here. But I have to say, I'm not a massive fan. And so I suppose now this is happening. And can I attack her? So you are a piece of ice. You have very limited understanding of the world. What you can do is you can try and do a deep scan to understand what she is, which is an opposed roll. So you can quickly make a countermeasure roll with plus two

and you need to beat that, Filch, with your own intelligence roll. So I rolled a nine. No, that's a six. That is definitely... Now, yours is a minus one, Filch, because you are not, how we say, smart. OK, but I... Dice camp, dice camp.

Hey, do I have no advantage at all? You're at plus two, so you're at eight. I'm thinking, like, bossy thoughts. Still minus one. And I'm 10. I'm like, got to get to work. Deadlines. Paper.

Watercoolers. I'm just listing things in my office Chair Desk Boss Deadlines Okay, so Laika, the limited AI countermeasure extrusion unit What do you do? So I believe her to be my superior

Yes Oh Hmm Hmm And she puts down the martini that she had Yes. Oh. Hmm. Hmm. And she puts down the martini that she had. Sorry, is this a drunk? Uh, well, I didn't think so, but maybe.

Um, gosh, I'm so awfully sorry. Um, I guess I got my wires crossed. I laugh back. I go, drinking on the job? All right, so the security countermeasures... The security countermeasures system is controlled for now. It is trying to wake up and, in fact, inform the system that something nefarious is happening. For now, Filch has a measure of control over it.

And the elevator dings and shows your arrival to the sub basement. Let's go. Filch, can you tell us which way to go? Filch, you actually have control of the ice, so you have full access to the system and you know the path to the central processing

unit. Inwards, I say. Inwards we go. access to the system and you know the path to the central processing unit? Inwards, I say. Inwards we go. All right. That is surprisingly all the information you need. And you make your way through what seems to be rooms of databanks, servers, supercomputers, and soon you find yourself at what seems to be blast shield doors that activate upwards and downwards,

an airlock, if you will, into a clean space, which can only be the central processing unit of the Zurich Orbital Gemeinschaft Bank. Doors, eh? Phil? Can you open the doors? I'm going to take this moment to say that this extra demand on the ice that controls Zogbank gives you a second chance to retaliate.

Wait a minute. That is a 15 And I say Easter weekend coming up Like me sure You'd like to have a long weekend With your family Me know your daughter growing up

With you away a lot of the time You have to beat... Well, I suppose I have. Shut your mouth, Ant. The blast shields open. And you make your way. Still awkwardly... Perfect! The blast shields open. And you make your way, still awkwardly... Walks, straggling a motorcycle and walking...

Yeah, you're dragging not only a motorcycle, but a junior executive in a headlock. I don't like any of this. As you... I don't like any of this at all. Wait a minute. I don't think I'm even getting a free motorbike. Sure, why don't you jump on? Ooh, all right.

And he jumps on and he's hugging him. You're behind me, though. I'm driving. Yeah. As you make your way through the sub-basement and soon as you round a bend you find yourself in a cold area where quickly actually make

a perception check for me. All of you I need somebody to make a 16. Alright, that's fine. And you find yourselves in an area where you can see a humming supercomputer at the end of the road and surrounded by it, flanked even, on two

sides are two turrets currently idling what seem to have powerful guns on them that are sitting there waiting for anyone to enter the corridor approaching them. You know instinctively, particularly you, Sally Gunbear, that this is the place you need to be. Fast on, fly kicks a gun. Okay, so you're just going to straight go in? Just straight up run in and kick a gun. Was that not what you planned? No, that's, you do what you want.

Before he runs, Sally says, now, I could easily take out all of these guns with my gun, but because you're so handsome and you did such a good job on my back, I'm going to let you have a red hot go at it before I do. And Bastogne draws his sword and charges at the gun. And that starts combat. Launching into a fly kick.

Congratulations. Not with his sword. I know. Congratulations. All right. Bast with this sword. I know. Congratulations. All right. Baston, you go first. Here we go. This dice rolled a...

How far away is it and what is the size of the space? About 15 feet away. So from 15 feet away... What's that in metres? Five metres? Five metres. Five metres away are the sentries, and then maybe four metres away is the central processing unit.

Oh, I should have kicked the processing unit. It's too late. You run forward, drawing the name sword of Sergei Vonsarovich. You charge this. Oh, Borovia! This is plus seven. You miss. And at that moment, the two sentry guns crackle into activity.

And for you, they seem like simple security sentries. Impassive, impossible to communicate. But for you, Filch, they seem to be fully vibrant personalities. Oh, no! Oh, God, we're guns. Intruders. I'm going to shoot one. I'm going to bloody...

I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to... Oh, you said it, but I'm going to shoot one. Me too. Yeah. I mean, that's a very limited range of things you can do, but I'm going to do it. And there's not much that Filch can do already,

but the first one already fires, and with a 18, definitely hits. And Bobby, you take nine points of damage. Wait a second. Are they, like, facing each other on either side of a corridor? They are on flanking the central processing unit. Okay. And now the next one up,

so they've hit you nine points of damage, and Sally Gunbear, you are next up. Okay. So Bastion just got, he failed, right? Yep. Great. I flew past the turret. And now where are you?

You were just on the ground? I'm probably pulling my, standing up. Okay. Adjusting my tanks. I lift him up, and my You're just on the ground? I'm probably pulling my... standing up. Okay. Adjusting my dacks. I lift him up and my claws pat him on the head. And then from behind his head, I pull out a pair of sunglasses. And I put them on. And then I flick my baby.

Flick my little baby open. Come on, I set up what it meant. And then I use my cool gun to do a haywire shot. Oh, haywire shot. Okay, excellent. So quickly, I need you to... I did something right! Yay!

That is actually right. So I need you to... I did something right! Yay! That is actually right. So I need you to quickly, as the automaton, the piece of ice that controls it, I need you to beat a DC 14. You have plus zero. You rolled a nine. One of the sentry guns is immediately controlled by Sally Gunbear and swivels and fires a powerful shot at the second turret,

which deals 3d6 points of damage to that turret. No, Terrence, what are you doing? No, I'm sorry, Clive, I can't help it. Terrence? 14 points of damage. Quickly, Friezo, it's up to you. All right. I take my bean bug gun.

Teleportation exists in this universe, right? Go on. I fire the bean bag into the turret like a gun hole. Dexterity check. You need to meet DC 17. That's incredible. It's quite a precise shot to shoot a gun. Yeah, so you need 14 or higher.

13, damn it! I'm afraid that's not enough. Quickly, Phil. 13 plus 3, 16. I know what I meant. I'm sorry. Phil, quickly, your go. Oh, Phil just looks at the two guns in the eye

and just says, give up! You're going to try and hack the other? She's got her corporate intimidation that she uses. Yeah, totally. So you're going to be... DC 14. DC 14. You're still intelligent, so minus one.

Nine. You don't make anything. Bobby. I say to Dykel Carmichael... Hey, mate. Yeah, what do you want? Can you just give me a hug? I just got shot.

I feel pretty bad. Oi, gosh. Seriously, is that what you want to do? And then, does he do it? In my opinion, he does, because he's an idiot. And then I duck down on the cycle, and using him as a human shield, I gun it towards the turrets

and try to draw fire. Okay, the last working turret. That's really, really great. So you just need DC 12, 15 will do it and you make your way towards the turret. You can make a sneak attack on the turret. Okay. I've got the electric baton.

So you've got a bonus 2d6 plus the cobra which is a d8, which I don't have. The diamond d1. Thank you very much. That's it. That's what I needed, the green one. Thank you, Alex, but that was entirely the wrong dice.

And we get 479. So that's, is that 479? Yep, So 13... 17 points of damage. That will explode the turret, which explodes in a shale of sparks. The other one already controlled by your haywire dart and already the central core is open to you, Sally Gunbear.

So all the guns are gone? Yeah, they both explode. One is exploded. The other one is for now controlled. By me. Was Dykle shot on for now, controlled. By me. Was Dykel shot on the way through? You tell me. You're the man who decides these things.

No, Dykel... Oh, it's a good point. Okay. The guns didn't... We were in control of the other one. No, attack of opportunity on Dykel. And Dykel was 14. Yeah, I'm afraid he was hit.

Dykel... Tell me, ma'am. You're dead, Dykel. Tell me, ma'am. You're dead, Daikel. Tell me, ma'am, I died. Tell her I'm dead, because that's important for her to know. This is the tenth innocent bystander. You've killed this adventure,

and Daikel Carmichael dies, and now already in front of your Sally Gun Bear, the central core processor is open. Great. So just still while I have control of that gun, I take my sunnies off, throw them into the air and then get the gun to just shoot them. Wonderful flair.

Kino, roll it. Roll the dexterity check. Four, you miss. It shoots the roof. The guns, the glasses land on the floor. So you throw a pair of glasses up in the air. You fire, you miss, and Bastogne steals your glasses. Hey.

And blows her a kiss. I go to reprimand him, but then melt. So then I pull a pair of sunglasses out of... How many of these do you have? You don't need to know! And then I pull a pair out of my back fold. Your shaven back fold. I forgot you were shaven.

Out of my back skin. Put them on. And then I make my way towards the thing. Alright, Sally Gunbear makes her way towards the central core processing unit. The way seems to be passed already. One sentry gun on the fritz, the other already destroyed by an ordnance blast. It will not quickly be forgotten as the dragon friends have proven themselves corporate espionage units to be feared.

The way is open. Freeside lies orbiting them in a lazy spiral above and this world does not know yet the threat that it shall face as the information flows cleanly into filger's hand a power over this corporation that she does not yet know how to deal with but just i guess turns on the air cons and everybody has a nice time because this is what happens when you find your corporation in control of the dragon friends the dragon friends are simon griner michael hing eden lacey and alex lee dungeon master is david harman npc's played by ben jenkins and also sometimes even lacey special guest this episode

was kate coats as sally gun bear the bear with a heart of gold and also a gun and heaps of sunglasses music and editing by me benny davis and website and all other technical stuff done by shakira khan for deleted scenes and other bonus content head to patreon.com slash dragon friends plus find us on facebook and instagram and all the things we leave you now with this banging remix of girlfriend by johnny playstation done by god link in the description. Oh my God, everyone. It's Johnny PlayStation here. I hope you're ready to have fun because I'm ready to have fans. Yo, if you're ready to do this,

let's do this. Oh my God. Oh my God. Ice cream sundae, sundae, sundae, sundae, sundae And oyster, no oyster, just a oyster No oyster, just a, doesn't live on Mars But she's out of this world Girl, she is more than a friend who's a girl Ice cream sundae, with a carol swirl And oyster, no oyster, just a shell full of pearls

She doesn't live on Mars, but she's out of this world Yeah, let's get crazy tonight Cause this song goes for 45 minutes Girlfriend is more I've got so many girlfriends, I can't stop at one. Did you betray his arrow for a machine gun? You're the biggest driver I of icing on my cinnamon bun. All of my girlfriends set their faces to start. Yeah, that's a...

Because they're stunning. All right, everybody, good news. Don't be a girlfriend, sure. We all know about that. But did you... Girlfriend is more. Ice cream sundae And oyster No oyster

Doesn't live on Mars But she's out of this world Girlfriend is more This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want. It's up to you. you