Dragon Friends - #3.11. Okay, That's A Persuasion Check

Episode Date: July 20, 2017

Picture a casino with Freeside at the top and the Dragon Friends at the bottom. The Dragon Friends need to get to Freeside. Whole lotta people gotta die. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends

The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends The Dragon Friends amidst the chaos of rack and ruin that make up the irradiated ruins of these new South Queens lands. The dragon friends have spent but minutes in the city's prestigious Haystack Casino, but have already made the most of their meagre time there, sampling the casino's tables, cocktails, losing six million credits

in an arguably misguided flutter on the roulette wheel. It's been a mixed bag. Now the city which shines so brightly on the roulette wheel. It's been a mixed bag. Now the city which shines so brightly on the rich and fortunate has turned on you, the four of you. Frizzo, Bobby, Filge, Baston, Dobson, Bugnut. You have been placed in a secure holding cell far from the eyes of the ritzy clientele. The robot, Meg Ryan, your companion and guide here,

has been confiscated and returned to her rightful post at the Sleucing Gates. Now those same Sleucing Gates may yet be your fate. The city has an unfortunate tendency to jettison its destitute to the slavers at the walls like so much flotsam. You've seen the spectacle from the other side. Now penniless yourselves and with the Skyway Lounge almost in reach it is a fate you would rather avoid. This is a small cell. There is a seat along the wall. There are

electric bars. A sort of holographic but also telekind bars that are keeping you in the room and there is no one else as yet present. Do I still have my Uzi? I'm just checking. No, they confiscated.

It's a good question. It's a fair question. It's the first thing they asked, actually. Did they confiscate my rake? Do you want to actually, can we just quickly see the scene when you guys were put in? Should we do that?

We've never done a flashback before. Okay, yeah, it's a flashback. Oh, sick. All right, well, everybody's here. That's nice. You're under arrest, by the way. Me and Kyle here, we're putting you under arrest. Yep. So first things first, who's got noosey?

Me. Wait, I don't. Well, you said you did first. I misspoke. Well, I'm you did first. I misspoke. Well, I'm sorry. I'd like to believe you. Oh, go on now. Believe him. No, remember the last fella who said he did first. He's probably telling you. Two hours later and you're all in prison.

So, it's a small room, about ten feet by ten feet. The five of you are in it. There is another cell opposite the way. It's empty. And otherwise the room seems pretty empty. What is a telekind bar? It's like a hologram, but you can feel it.

So it's not a hologram? Yeah, but you can blink it in and out of... Like a laser? Like a hard laser? Thank you. It's a hard laser cell. Interesting. Alright. Once again, thank you for translating. So I'm going to...

I'm just going to get like a... Is there a twig or a scrap or something around? You're in the... No, there's... There are some metal trays. All right. Well, I'm going to put a metal tray into the bar and see what happens. Okay.

So Friso's approaching the bars with his metal tray. Oh, wait, it's electric? Let's slow down time for a second. And do we think that this... No, no, lasers aren't electric. While we slow down time, I would ask all of you, Simon, Alex and Baston, to quickly make a perception check. Sorry, we don't have dice cam this week because I broke it.

It's fine. You had it for a minute. I rolled a nine. We might have it in the second half, so we're going to shout our dice rolls. Did anyone get a... 14. 11.

Nine. Filch, you notice something as Friso slowly makes his way with a grim certainty towards the bars that will surely electrify him. You notice that on the back of his neck, there is a red flashing light, a tiny one that is sort of pulsing. That's what I notice? Yeah, embedded in the back of his neck.

Not that he's going to... Look, Lebo, you notice what you notice. And you buy it. Oh, cool. Alright. I go, hey, Fraser. I turn around and go, yes. Dropping, I suppose, the plate safely to the ground.

No, not at all. I'm still holding it. Alright. Dropping, I suppose, the plate safely to the ground. No, not at all. I'm still holding it. All right. You get space jewellery? What do you mean? You get space jewellery.

Back of your neck. I guess I put my hand to the back of... Fraser puts his hand to the back of his neck to feel the space jewellery? The first thing that you notice is you can feel the small abrasion from when Mr Sour placed that tag bandage against you a few days ago. Okay. I'm like, well I knew that was there so this is no new

information. It's flashing. Wait, is mine flashing? Bobby turns around and his is flashing. It's hard to do it all at once so how do you do it? Alright so we all check each other. Bobby turns around and his is flashing. Hang on, but what audience, it's hard to do it all at once, so how do you do it? No, no, no. This is unnecessary business. No, no, look.

I just don't think I can get this shit together. No, Phil's just checking the line. Everybody turns around at the same time. Do it, do it, do it. We're all just like Phil, turn around. Everyone's turning in circles. Right, like this. Everyone's standing in circles. Look, if you want to work out what it is, it's the vision I think you have from the human eye

is probably 180 degrees, something like that. Whereas if there's four of us, we only need to be able to see in a 90-degree angle because it would be a square. So I think we're covered. But you're saying this while the three of them are like... Also, there's five of you because you forgot about dear, beloved Dobson.

But Dobson doesn't have one. No, he doesn't. And I don't have one either. No, Filch doesn't either. But Bastogne, Bobby and Friso, you all have these little flashing lights that are vibrating in the backs of your necks. And as you notice that, forgotten until now, you feel a buzzing that could only be a box of bees. Hello, bees. Hello, bees? Oh, I do have a catchphrase. I forgot.

I answer the bee box. Hello, bees? Ah, yes. Bobby. Bobby Pancakes. Mr. Mr. Sour. Mr. Sour. Who else calls you on this? The bees. We need to have chat when you get back.

All right. I love to chat. So, how are you? Good, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're having a great time. A bit of how you say this is chit chat. Oh.

So, now you ask me how I am? Oh, how are you? Yeah, like interested is interesting. So, like ask questions of interesting. So, like, ask questions of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, do you want to roll an insight check to see

if Mr Sauer might be lonely? Yeah. Ooh, I will get in on that. 19. Look, he is, and he's not afraid to tell people. So, what's been keeping you busy? Oh, you know, like...

What is it to you? You don't even care. I have to, like, ask. Oh, like, why don't you ask me to ask you a question, see how you feel when I... I mean, sorry, the reason that I didn't jump straight to that is that we've just noticed that we have flashing lights in the back of our necks. Oh, yes.

Kind of at the top of our minds. This is why I called you. Oh, yeah. that I didn't jump straight to that is that we've just noticed that we have flashing lights in the back Oh You always laugh when I say sex. Is there a... Is this like some sort of Faerun joke? You remember, of course, Mr Sauer's sacks of myocardic toxin embedded in your brain stems. He threatened you with these. He actually installed these on you when you first arrived a while ago back in Chiba.

But he has always threatened that within days they would begin to rupture, paralyzing, and then killing you in the most painful way possible. It is very painful. You will, um... You will, uh... Yeah. No, go on, Ben. The way it happens, if this... And I realize I did not tell anybody this,

but the way it happens, if this sex rupture, you shit out your own skull. It takes like half an hour. Do you, you don't have any control over the release mechanism, do you? No, but I'm here to tell you, like, ring, ring, hello. It's like real soon. It's like, because I did not think this would take so long. We're in a spot of bother.

Do you think you could wire us some money? Wire you some money? Yeah, we just have a few expenses. You know, just living expenses. What happened? Like, I gave you a lot of cred sticks. I gave, um... Put Filch on.

All right, Filch. Filch, just sell the helicopter. Hey, buddy. Filch, likech, just sell the helicopter. Hey, buddy. Filch, I can give you a helicopter. When all this is over, you want to go see a movie? No, I'd love to see. Mr. Sour. Who is this?

One sec, me put Bastogne on. No, don't put a hello, Bastogne. I just wanted to apologise. I lost my jacket. The jacket they give you? Yes, I'm sorry. I really loved it. I just wanted to apologize.

Well, if you love it so much, why you lose it? Look, things happen in the desert. It got hot. What, in the desert? Why are you in the desert? You fly into casino. Baston, can you put me on for a second? I just want to chat.

All right, hey, Mr. Sour. Hello. Hello, it's Freezo now. We need how you say six million credits. 24,000 credits. We need six million

credits to get out of this spot of bother. And you have complete control of my life, so we will pay you back if you just forward us that six million... Okay.

Like, I feel like there's been some mis... Put me on speaker so everybody can hear. Okay. So I feel like there has been... Filchy! No, I know who's there.

I feel just gonna speak for us. Tell him you're speaking for us. You're our speaker. Oh, my God. I feel like, um... You know what it is? It's that you have not realised what a small part of my

day you are. You are like, uh... 10 o'clock until 1010. You know? And then everything else is, um, other things. Much more exciting things that make a lot more sense. What's more exciting than me shitting my skull out?

Well, I must admit that would be amazing. My point is, if this whole thing does not pan out for you, that's very bad for you. The aforementioned skull shitting, for example, that's a regrettable circumstance. But for me, that's like, oh, I feel bad for a second. Yeah, but between 10 and 10-10, after we're gone, what you gonna do?

Okay, that's a persuasion check. I'm gonna... You might win, you might break this little heart. Do I get any extra points for persuasion check. I'm going to... You might win. You might break this little heart. Do I get any extra points for persuasion? No, well, you have plus zero to your charisma. Oh, I do. Plus two to persuasion.

Oh, why did you take persuasion? All right, all right, all right. DC, 15. Nine. Yes, well, I'll be hanging out with my many good... Do you remember ancient show entourage? It's like this. There is the funny one and there is the one who is big, big action.

All my friends come around. So I don't need you! Anyway, this is my way of... It's a courtesy call. It's my way of saying you you have uh not so long to rescue playstation and i'm telling you this when you get which i cannot believe you are not there yet but when you get to freeside he will probably be in a compound held chain he may even be in stasis so what you want going to want to do is uh get uh some sort of anti-gravity trolley, pull him out of stasis,

bring him to the tug that I will send to Freeside. Won't you give me the word? The what? The tug. Excuse me. Listen, fella. Now, you don't know me, but it sounds like you're the man in charge. So, look, if you could just warrant just a few credits,

I've got a foolproof plan to get us up there. Look, I've worked the numbers. And, and look if we get back out of the casino look I reckon I reckon if we just who is this man put on bobson where's bobson we just need a couple thousand credits so I can get us back up there what happened to bobson this dobson this dobson oh you know bo too? Yeah, he's a mate of mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Friso... The line goes dead. All right, Friso is going to not touch because it might conduct,

but he's going to fling like a frisbee the tray into the lightsabers. Okay. All right, back to the future three. Give it a go. All right. Well, roll the dexterity check for me Just DC 12, you got a

Seven plus two is nine Plus three is ten, oh it's still not enough Yeah, no it's not enough You miss, you suddenly throw the frisbee and mildly concuss Dobson Who is standing Cheers Hey Friso Yes Who was standing... Cheers. Hey, Friso.

Yes? You're really good at squeezing pimples. You want me to have a go of that thing on the back of your neck? Wait, wait. Just break the character for a second. Was that the phone in the back of our neck? No, no, no. I have a phone. Oh, my God.

No. Give it a go. Squeeze the pimple. Wait, wait, wait. A surgeon couldn't get it Oh, my God. No! Give it a go! Squeeze the... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. A surgeon couldn't get it out of my back, so I don't think Filge will be able to get it out of yours. Oh, those are the sacks. Right, OK.

Get what out of what, says a voice. And at that moment, you look... God? Bees? And you see a figure of a elfling actually with a sort of strange buzz cut haircut

with this very strong widow's peak who is standing there in a trench coat and then like a sort of dark red uniform with an anarchy badge. He's got a skateboard under his arm. Get what out of what, guys? Remember me?

Remember Kyle here? We arrested you like two hours ago Oh, hello, Kyle No, I'm Paris And Paris You lied to me Yeah, you said you didn't You had an Uzi

He did have an Uzi, remember that? I just feel very betrayed Remember how you said, oh, don't search him And I said, no, we shouldn't I thought you had an honest face, remember that? I just feel very betrayed. Remember how you said, oh don't search him, and I said, no we shouldn't. I thought you had an honest face, but you're a liar. And you know what? Kyle might not be the best security man. Oh, I'm terrible.

But I like that he still has a glint of humanity in his eyes. Just a little. Well, I'm not a human, so... Okay, that's super rude. Oh, super rude. That's so rude. Well, I think it's rude to call not a human, so... OK, that's super rude. Oh, super rude. That's so rude. Well, I think it's rude to call me a human. I'm clearly not a human, I'm a halfling.

All right, well... I grab Friso by the head and start... And I slam it into the wall. All right. Any point in the story. Make an attack wall. Alright. Any point is stored. Make an attack roll. And as I do that I whisper

go with me on this. But I am actually doing it. You are. So I want you to make an

attack. His armour glass is 14. 19. 19. Alright. Wait.

What? What is happening? Go ahead. And I whisper so they come in. Break us

up. Hey no. Stop fighting. It's not nice. Five. That's nine points of damage. You guys. Yeah.

Don't be doing that. I go, me having top bunk. Me under top bunk. Well, why don't we get another bunk in here? Oh, we can get top bunk. Oh, me going gonna do it again. Now, Friso is famously bad at reading social cues. Absolutely.

I'm casting Witch Bolt on everybody. This is fun. What's the AOE one I have? I hide under the bench. The flame cone. Burning hands. Burning hands. I'm casting burning hands.

I'm under the bench. The bench has an underside, right? Yes, the bench has an underside. I'm there. So you're scurrying... I'm gonna write this one out. That'm under the bench. The bench has an underside, right? Yes, the bench has an underside. I'm there. So you're scurrying. I'm going to write this one out. This is a good plan. This is a good plan. Friso is

like dazed and confused from being slammed into a wall by someone he thought he was his friend. How could you betray a friend? That's such a Friso thing to do. He takes a step back and then sort of works out in his mind a way that a 25 foot comb would include Filch, Dobson and the two guards and cast Burning Hands. Can Burning Hands go through walls and stuff?

It can certainly go through bars. Yeah, no, it can go through bars. Okay. All right, your spell saving... How many hit points does Kyle in Paris have? What's he doing? Well, your spell saving... How many hit points does Kyle and Paris have? What's he doing? Well, your spell saving throw is DC 14. So quickly, Phil, make a dexterity saving throw for me.

Roll 10 or higher. Wait, do you guys have skateboards? Yeah, one of us does. I got 17, Dan. That was going to be my carrot. 16. That was a carrot and a stick. Okay, you both managed to take half damage from the burning hands.

So what's that? Kyle? No, no, I'm just talking about these two. So you take four damage each. And Kyle and Paris, one of you gets hit. So the other one takes four and the other one takes eight damage. Do I take eight? I don't take damage.

I'll take eight. No, you're under the bench. Kyle's a good guy. Oh, no. Oh, it burns. Oh, God. Oh. And they both draw their skateboards.

All right. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Kickflip. Oh. And they both draw their skateboards. All right. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Kickflip. Ollie. Ollie. So you have the release button on your side that will make the bars disappear. And we're going to go in there and break this up. Yeah.

So what, are you going to hit it? Yeah. Yeah. And let's get in there and beat some heads. Okay, so you guys hit the... We're going to be kicking some, you know, no fire, no smoking.

These are not aggressive voices. I'm really not happy about this. Well, I even watched it far ago. Oh, boy. I make a cunning dash out as soon as they lower the bars. We're going to go to initiative and you go first, Bobby.

So what is this? Yeah, I make a cunning dash out to the bars and hit them straight away so that those two guys are trapped inside. But so is everyone else. Yeah. Oh, with you! What?

Alright, that's your action. Beautiful. But I'm going to say Friso. Okay, next one up is Kyle. Oh, I'm going to hit Friso with my skateboard. You know, it's funny though, in a way, we've become the prisoners ourselves. Oh, boy. Before you hit him with my skateboard. You know, it's funny, though. In a way, like, we've become the prisoners ourselves. Oh, boy. So, sorry,

before you hit him with your skateboard, what you mean, of course, is that you hit the release that makes your stun baton come out and the skateboard drops to the ground. Wait, wait, what? I don't have a skateboard? You do, but like, it's a utility board. Like, you use it for traveling around. It's got a baton in it. Oh, it's like a hoverboard.

Our whole thing is like policing through kindness. Our whole thing is, like, policing through kindness. Our whole thing is, like, why would you commit a crime when you can commit an ollie? Oh, come on, now. That's our whole thing. So your policing through kindness plan is to hit him with a skateboard. Well, no.

I mean, we hit him with some truth. He burnt me. Why don't I just try and pacify him? All right, Kyle, pacify him with your skateboard. Guys, take these guys out. Okay, quickly. We're't I just try and pacify him? All right, Kyle, pacify him with your skateboard. Guys, take these guys out. Okay, quickly. We're going to make an attack.

Who are you attacking? Freezo, five. I miss. You miss. All right, next one up is Freezo. No, Freezo's just cast a spell. I'm going to push you

to the bottom. So the next one up is Bobson. Dobson. Dobson's going to... Oh, can he try and scurry out? Is it time for him to scurry out before the bar?

No, there's not. Oh, oh, I guess he'll probably hide under the bench. All right, great. Excellent. Next one up is Paris. All right, well, um, uh, I clap my hands together and go, all right, listen up, everybody. Before we lose our heads, just remember,

we can call for more guards and they won't be quite as nice. So let's all just take a big deep breath and think about our choices. All right. Is that your entire action? That's my entire action. Baston's going to fly kick him to the face. And Baston is next. So make an attack.

11. Wait. Plus 2? Plus 3. 14. That will hit him. how much damage it's just a deep D4 plus 3 for my strength bridge sword 5 damage all right 5 damage so he's a little 7 or at least a 9 yeah yeah sorry and the next one up is Filch

Filch is gonna grab his skateboard and whack both of them in one arm. He's holding his skateboard. Are you going to try and disarm him? Yeah. All right, so I need you to first of all quickly make an athletics check with me. Opposed, actually. Why don't you go roll at your strength. I'm holding the skateboard, aren't I? Okay.

That's 15. That's a 10. All right, so you... Either way, you win. It's enough. You rest the skateboard. That takes a 10. All right, so you... Oh, either way, she wins. Either way, you win. It's enough. You win. You rest the skateboard. That's what takes your action.

So I've kicked it out of his arm and caught it in a cool way, just so you know. You can't attack yet, but now you've disarmed him. See, now you're getting it. Isn't it fun? All right, and the next up is Friso. All right, Friso casts Crown of Madness. This is important. At who?

I'm going to cast it on Kyle, who is close to Paris. Like, Kyle and Paris are next to each other, right? They're very close, yeah, yeah. Yeah, all right. And in case you're wondering, Kyle is slightly less wounded than Paris. Right. Are you equally wise, presumably? I wouldn't know that. Oh, I feel like Kyle's...

Well, they both look stupid as. All right, yeah. Well, you've got to make a wisdom saving throw, Kyle. Okay, I'm going to roll a dice. Let's see how we go. Decent 14. Woo!. All right. Yeah. Well, you've got to make a wisdom saving throw, Kyle. Okay. I'm going to roll a dice. Let's see how we go. 14. 13.

No, 13 won't do it because you've got wisdom flat. All right. So now on your next turn, you have to attack Paris. Okay. Oh. Bobby, it's your turn. But Paris doesn't know this. It's so sad.

Are there any like weapons or things on the outside like batons or anything? There's just a corridor leading out and there's four cells on this corridor. Who else? Are there any other people in the cells? No, they're empty as far as you can see and the corridor leads out into what looks like a security room. Okay. Which is not that far. It's like 30 feet away. I'm just gonna like hold my turn.

What are you delaying till? Till something cool happens? It doesn't work that way. What are you delaying till? Till something cool happens It doesn't work that way What do you delay till? Until I get close to the bar? Until these guys are incapacitated Okay So you're just waiting for the fight to be over?

Yeah Kyle, it's your go. You failed your save, so you have to attack Paris. Okay, Paris. Okay, Kyle, the chips are down, but I... What the fuck? I can't... Oh, I'm feeling crazy, Paris. Eight. Whoa.

Flail. They won't do it. I'm afraid you swing and you miss. And the next one up is... So, Paris, you just got attacked by Kyle. Hey! What did we talk about? I don't know. I'm feeling weird. Maybe it was

that burrito I had for lunch. I told you you shouldn't be having that many carbs before noon. Oh, I should have got beans instead of rice. And you just took a swing at me. Oh, can I have an attack of opportunity? Yeah, he's reaching out to touch you. Yeah, right, here we go.

13. That'll hit him. So, oh shit. Alright, that's nine points. That kills. That kills. You said nine. You said nine points. That kills. Oh no. That kills. You said nine. You said nine left.

That was nine. Oh! Oh! God! Oh God, what did he do? That was shocking enough, and because you performed another action, you have to test again to break the crown of madness.

Okay. DC, 14. 11. 11. Oh, this is great. This is fantastic. You are, I'm afraid, still Friso's plaything, so Bastogne, you're next. Oh.

Wait, so the guards are incapacitated, right? One of them's dead. One of them's dead, and the other one is like just, I'm making him just like punch the corpse. Does the dead one, how big is the dead one? Will I fit in his outfit? Yeah, it's a princeling, so you know what? You'll look ripped.

Sick. I'm like, ooh. And start to strip him down. That will take your whole action. All right. Yep. Yep, all right. You start stripping the dead body.

What's the status of the other one? Weeping and frozen with a blue nimbus surrounding his head. Filge, you're up next. I'm just going to skateboard towards the exit and yell, Bobby, open the gate! And I hit it once and then I put it back on again as soon as he comes back. I'm going to call that cool enough to have triggered your reaction so you go through.

Well done. Hit it and quit it. That means Friso's still locked in there? Yeah. With a corpse and a madman. He's still got business to do. And a naked Barovian. Can you control that other guy? I can make him attack

someone, yeah. Okay, cool. I'm going to let us all out. So I let us out. And I'm like, Freezer, you should probably put on that. Get him to strip it and put on his outfit. Can Crown of Madness do that? Is that specific?

Well, if I could, I mean, stripping's a form of attack when you think about it. Explain. Well, no, if someone's stripping at you and you don't want it, that's absolutely an attack. You want to try and defend that as an action, Ben? No, no, no. I'm not prepared to do that. Okay.

In that case, why don't you make for me an Arcana check DC 12 for this highly irregular use of the Crown of Madness? Arcana is 17. Yeah, it's 17. I smashed that. 19. Woo-hoo! Okay, then I guess using magical powers,

you force a man to strip against the ceiling. He wouldn't be free. Is that woke enough for you, Nick? Yeah, and I want him to angrily throw the clothes at me. He's got to be real angry. You're a pig. You're a pig and I hate you. All right, so is there a key in these pockets or what? Yes, there is. They have security passes. All right, so is there a key in these pockets or what?

Yes, there is. They have security passes. All right, cool. Well, I'm going to leave them with the security pass and I'm going to leave Kyle in there with Paris to think about what he's done and Dobson can come if he wants. You're going to lock him in a room?

With the body he just... Yeah. He should think about what... Look, actions have consequences. He needs to know that you can't just go punching your security mates okay so what are you doing with the outfit is there a reason oh no what oh no why were you making him strip if it wasn't to get his uniform yeah I put on the uniform yeah of course yeah what were you guys thinking alright All right, all right. Whatever you guys. You guys.

So, Friso. Holy shit. Friso and Bastogne, you are now dressed as Haystack Security from Ares. Can I ask a question? How big are the skateboards? They're like. They're bigger than me. So can I like get up underneath it and be like hidden by it? You can use it as a bodyboard, yes.

Yeah, yeah. So I'll get on the underside of yours and you carry it. You're like one of those cool dogs. Oh, no, no, no. You can't hide inside a skateboard. Not inside it, but like behind it. No. So I have my...

I keep the skateboard. Yep, you've got a skateboard. And who's keeping the other skateboard? I guess Frizzo should carry it. Yeah, Frizzo will take it. Excellent. You've got your security passes. All right, you guys make your way out

into the security room where you see a locker that has your weapons and you can get your weapons back. Cool. Sweet. And you also see a door which is leading out further into the compound. So I guess we can...

I try and swipe through the door. All right, you swipe. It goes green and the door opens and you almost bump into a figure who is standing there with a card himself. And that figure dressed in a sort of bedraggled, filthy suit, no shoes, is a figure filled you've seen before. It is the figure of your wealthy benefactor

whose name you do not know yet. Hey! Buddy! Mate! Buddy! Mate! Mate! I believe you have six million credits of mine. Actually, contextually from the other accent, is this Fargo

as well? Yes. Alright. Wait, do I know this person and I've forgotten? No, this is the person you stole the chips from. You put his chips in my mouth. Oh, yes. Ah. Hmm?

Hmm? Six million credits in chip form that you took, or that you purloined from my hand and put in your, I suppose, enormous gob. Me don't know what you're talking about. Okay, well, look. Why would me put chips in gob? Make no sense. We put them on rib.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. And now I find you leaving the holding cell where I asked them to put you. And my, my, you've been promoted to guards, both of you. How about that? I'm good at my job. Actually, yeah, we've been monitoring some of your transactions here at the casino and we've got to say that some of them are quite irregular.

Pretty naughty. So you've been a guard for what? About 35 seconds now and in that time I have done a cursory glance at your business transactions and I feel that some of them look somewhat fraudulent. How does a man who has

such a gross face come to inhabit, come to have six million credits in the first place. I built the place. Oh, I forgot, yes. That is in my notes somewhere, yes. No, you weren't to know.

I shoot it with my Uzi. Don't feel bad about that. I shoot it with my Uzi. I shoot him with my Uzi. You shoot him with your Uzi. I shoot the man with my Uzi. What happened to you all? We're going to shit our skulls out like this.

I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you. I'm going to shoot you. I shoot the man with my Uzi. What happened

to you all? We're gonna shit our skulls out. There is high tension here. My neck's blinking red, dude. Alright, you lift up your Uzi and you point it at him. No, you shouldn't. And I pull the trigger. Dave's given you a lot of off-ranks.

Make a alright make for me a dexterity he's just wearing a suit so it's only I guess armor class 12

That's 17 Is he by himself? Yeah he came by himself And what's behind him? Like is behind him like the casino floor? No it's just stairs leading up. Oh, okay, right.

In the tiny corridors, the machine gun sound is deafeningly loud, and a siren starts to wail. And you do 3D6 points of damage, and it empties your clip. Six, five, two. So that's 13 damage. All right, 13 damage won't kill him But he's not happy I go through I just ransack his like

Pockets and He's still up He's still standing there With 13 points of damage From a machine gun You've gone back into Is he a robot? When you get to my level of

Wealth That's awesome Sort of start to work out certain fabrics that you can dress in that will at least alleviate the impact Is he trying to fight back? He is and he's acting tough

but also a little bit of blood is coming out of the side of his mouth. Is that a bullet hole? No, it's a mouth Oh, right Yeah, no. Did you just mistake my mouth for a bullet hole? Oh, look, he's seen too much. We've got to end this.

Yeah, all right. No, you've had your turn. You shot him. He gets to say something. Look, I don't really see a way that this particular body can survive this onslaught. Thankfully, I've got quite a few back home that would mean to take for a spin. What?

In any case... Is this like surrogates? You're on your way to Freeside. Am I not incorrect? Are you not incorrect? We are not not going to Freeside. You're right. This isn't a fucking riddle.

Is it? He pulls out a handkerchief and coughs into it and it gets very bloody. Oh, that's not good. That's from one of the big ones, I bet. It's from one of the big, you know, the ones you need. It's hardly going to be from the

bloody appendix, tell you that much for free. We'd spare your life if you tell us how to get to Freeside. Lady, I don't think you quite understand. Just follow the fucking signs. Oh! Oh. Oh.

I'm not telling you how to get to Freeside and you're certainly not threatening any sort of life that you understand. My point is this and he takes out from his pocket a box about the size of a deck of cards and he hands it

to Filch and he says you don't like the clever one Oh come on He's very sick He says when you get to Freeside There's going to be a room It's going to look like

A control room And in my other pocket Is um Some credits So I can activate And I can do that While I'm still conscious And that'll get you

All the way up to Freeside And no problems asked No questions asked Rather I'm dying Let's not get too picky about word choice i can give you the credits if you just promise me do one thing take that box put it in the control room and press the red button on it um uh i mean you'll be dead right so sure

I mean, you'll be dead, right? So, sure. Wait, one more thing. We'll do your task. What's your name? My name is Julian Fairbanks. Julian Fairbanks. And with that, in an almost discreet and gentlemanly way,

he coughs one more time, falls over and dies. Sorry! Oh, but I've activated the cred stick. There's a cred stick in his pocket. It has 24,000 credits exactly wired onto it. He had... Okay. Bags. I'm afraid Simon bags to... Yes.

Probably right, given me new gambling addiction. If I... Oh, sorry, just to go back very, very quickly. If someone I've cast Crown of Madness on kills someone else, do I get the temporary hit points? Yeah, I'm going to say you do. You have two temporary hit points.

Can I take his bulletproof jacket? I think it's pretty clear it wasn't bulletproof. It might not have been buttoned up in the front. I think the thing he was wearing, he was describing, was this vessel, this body. So what's the deal? He's like Bruce Willis in Surrogates. I think his brain's in the cloud.

He's like Scarlett Johansson in Surrogates. Hey, guys. Yeah? So, the Skyway Lounge is right across the casino floor. Are we all on the same page? I punch him in the nose. Oh. Oh, yeah, cheers.

We make our way to the... Oh, can I raid the body first? Oh, good idea. Yeah, so the body has a filthy bullet-riddled and bleeding suit. I get on my bullet's back because... Again, that's not how that suit. I get all my bullets back because... Again, that's not how that works. I cannot stress that enough. You have the credit stick, which has 24,000

credits. You already have his small device, which he showed you how to use. There's a little red stud on the side. If you press it, it starts blinking. You press it again, it stops blinking. And... Wait, what are we supposed to do with that again? Blow up a control room or something. Okay, cool. We put it in a control room and press a red button.

And he had an access key. Great. All right. Okay, I got it. So we hightail it to the... Sky train. Casino. No, no.

We go straight. Everybody hold hands. Okay? I'm at the front. I lead them across the casino without stopping. I'm like, we're not stopping. No drinks, no gambling. We're going to the Skyland.

Working your way through the holding cells, you pass a tray of delicious cocktails, a beautiful smorgasbord buffet. There is what seems to be penny slots, which look very fun, very easy to win. I snake the line around and slap everybody's hands. And eventually you make your way to an elevator and something happens when you go inside and you swipe the pass key.

Normally only the public floor buttons are lit, but suddenly every floor lights up all the way up to the Skyway Lounge. I press all of them. What do we see? How many are there? How many levels? Level one. What do we see? Holding cells, that's where you are.

Level two. Kitchens. Three. Housekeeping. Housekeeping second annex. Alright, let's skip ahead. Level 23. Security. 51. Housekeeping again. I guess I need a lot of towels.

Alright, and level 69. It goes to 60, you dipshit. Damn it! Alright, you've passed the first test, Dave. Alright, great. So you make your... Which level do you go to? Back housekeeping annex number two.

No, we go to level 60. Stopping only to get hot towels, you make your way to level 60. You're all just patting your face. When the lift's open, you're patting your face with like... Now this is some real Hitchhiker's Guide shit. The elevator's open to a beautiful lounge with wall toto-ceiling windows,

slowly revolving with views that must once have been fabulous, but now are despicable, wretched and shit. Oh. This is the... Sounds like a Brisbane casino. This is, of course, the Skyway Lounge, which is the pinnacle of the casino, but also land. This is, of course, the Skyway Lounge, which is the pinnacle of the casino, but also land.

It is a sort of land rented by the corporation to the consortium that controls Freeside. And it is the base of the Space Needle that takes you there. There is a giant terminal above the bar with a huge blinking hololithic display that reads, Next trip to Freeside, two hours. There are small tables. There's a bar. There's a row of blinking arcade machines to the side. No. I want to have a go.

And otherwise the room is empty. I'm going to... There's no other guests waiting? We've got two hours. No, there's no one there. Do you have any credits? We didn't spend all that credits, did we? I still have 4,000 credits!

I still have 1,000 credits. That's right. Yes. How many arcade machines have they got? Okay, so as you go up, you see sort of Tank War Europa, you see the Wizard's Cave, you see a lot of famous... Do they have Raiden? You know, the one with the ships? They don't have Raiden. They've got a version of Frogger, but it's like

all Mad Max muscle cars. But also one arcade machine seems to draw your attention more than any of the other ones. Ooh. The Queen of the Nile? You find yourself drawn towards it. Freezo in particular? Yeah.

And this is like a one-player game? It looks like it's a four-player game. Ooh. What you got over there, Freezo? I skateboard over. I skateboard everywhere now. Unless stated otherwise, I'm skateboarding. Correct.

Okay, guys, this is an arcade game, right? Phil skateboards over towards the console and has the beautiful lights illuminating, shining on her joyful face in colours 16-bit and radiant. As you see the sign above it for the first time, this is an old pre-war console, and above it in beautiful block letters is the words The Tomb of Annihilation.

Oh! This looks cool, guys. Let's have a go. At the moment, Filge, that you bump into it and gently touch it, there is what seems to be a kind of Nova effect. And as that happens, you suddenly, all of you, get hit by a strange sense memory that seems both alien but also familiar. You think you hear the sound of beating drums.

You smell the sharp sting of salt but also exotic spices. And before you collapse into unconsciousness, the last thing that you hear is a screech of an animal, both strange and terrifying. For though at the Skyway Lounge you all are, there is still one trip left to make. One up into the heavens that will

find Johnny PlayStation and perhaps bring some measure of staying alive and not shitting out your skulls to your small and wretched lives. Will you prevail or will you die screaming in a casino that looks pretty shit? For the answers to questions such as these, tune in to the next episode of The Dragon Friends. Thank you. The Dragon Friends are Simon Griner, Michael Hing, Eden Lacey and Alex Lee. The show is DM'd by David Harmon, NPCs played by Ben Jenkins and Eden Lacey, live music and not live editing done by me, Benny Davis,

and Shakira Khan designs our website and is our go-to techspert.