Dragon Friends - #6.05. The Stüssy Sign

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

Having made a startling discovery underneath the Lormington stills, all The Dragon Friends need to do is return to Waterdeep with their findings.How hard can it be? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey there, Draggy Doos, it's Alex Lee here. Now, this episode you're about to listen to is a little different because we normally record in front of a live audience, but thanks to a very generous gift from our friends at Audio Technica, we were able to record this from our own homes. So hang in there, it's going to be a little different from normal, but we had heaps of fun and we're sure you will too. Stay safe out there, you little cuties, and enjoy the show. So we're sure you will too uh stay safe out there you little cuties and enjoy the

show so we're doing this remotely um which is how is weird but i think we're doing well so far we've got a whole kind of zoom conference room i can see everybody's faces um we're recording our own audio we're soldiering on i agree dave we're yet to start the show but we are doing well. It has been less than a month since we all gathered in groups of ten or more to play Dungeons & Dragons at the Vanguard Theatre, but oh, what a difference four weeks make. The Dragon Friends, newly reunited, have found their way to the Lormington Stills in charming Flosen. Nice place to visit if you can afford it. Familial rivals were dispatched. Old houses burned down.

Mistakes were made. We all have to live with them. For the first time in three years, the dragon friends are together again, and yet, in paranoia, recrimination, and despair, they have never been further apart. And yet, some small measure of success in your

mission has been made. The revolutionary lieutenant, Lothario Winswept III has been rescued from under the nose of your enemy LaCroix, and you've helped him on his mission, tracking magical shipments of vials smuggled out of Daggerford and into the Lormington Stills. It is in these stills, still blackened by corporate piracy, that you find yourselves now, staring up at a pristine and arcane magical device seemingly focused on a granite slab laid carefully underneath. A small desk to the side holds only loose papers, a silver bell, and a letter explicitly laying out a stranger's personal tragedy

that you're trying not to dwell on. Otherwise, it seems, the trail runs cold here. Can anybody read? Well, Eden, you've read the letter. The letter we read at the end of the last episode. Right. I just wanted to establish that. What if I'm just saying if we can read or not?

I mean, if there are no further questions, I can read. I'm able to read as well. I also write some stirring poetry. We learn to read from a talking dog. I'm sure that's true, Filch. We learn to read by a dolphin. Right.

Is that Filch finding that funny? So, this Lothario, what is this freaking machine? What's going on here? I mean, it's obviously something not cool. Well, it depends what it's being used for. It looks to be an arcane focus of some kind, but without looking at it closer, I couldn't tell you.

Well, do you have a minute to perhaps look closer? Well, I can, but don't you have an artificer in your party? Oh, yeah, great idea. Yes, technically I am an artificer. I mean, I'm just revolutionary, you know, and a poet. I don't know if I mentioned. Dave, I would like to do a, ooh, what kind of check would I like to do? Are you asking me or are you just giddy with possibilities?

Maybe I'll do a perception check on the old arcane focus. Okay, great. I'm going to roll a D20 Yep And roll Two Three Four

Five I got a three Alright you don't You can't tell Exactly what it does Like I said It was full of These kind of weird nodules

That the vials go in As I mentioned last episode And it's Focused on this tablet The only How big is it? It's huge It's like

It's like Six feet tall? Yeah these stills are's huge. It's like six feet tall? Yeah, these stills are like 1,200 litres. And are six feet tall? What? Is that a little throwback there? Keep going. You think you're fucking funny, but you're not.

It's not so fun to bully Dave without people to watch, isn't it? The difference here is I can just leave. I can just turn all of this off. Coronavirus means that I'm protected, so none of that shit. But no, it's a massive industrial still, and it has been built all the way up to at least probably what you would consider to be the second story, this vast machine, obviously made by a very powerful artificer,

but with a three, you can't see anymore. If somebody else wants to investigate, they can, but they don't have your skill. Just a question for Dave. Is the focuser like a thing pointing down to the slab? That's correct. It's sitting above a wagon that has straw with the slab laid down underneath it. And there are what looks like mirrors focusing energy down, but it's all dormant at the moment.

Can I investigate the slab, Dave? Yeah, make for me a perception check as well, or an investigation check's fine. Uh, ooh, it's a spicy five, cinco, cinco investigado. Cinco de dice. Okay, so you also don't find anything. Except you notice that when you touch it, it is freezing cold to the touch, and it seems to be crystallized with kind of ice or snow. I rolled a 17.

What were you investigating? Investigating the whole apparatus. It seems to me like it might be some sort of like something that, like I assume the body's being shipped in, something's being done to the bodies and something's being focused down into the bodies. Well, no, with the 17, it looks like it's focusing on the slabs itself as i said these slabs are unnaturally cold it looks like they've absorbed some kind of powerful magical force on it but

with the 17 you notice a couple of other things as well bobby you see and find an artificer's mark that banknote had missed which is a filigree s and feels personal and a which is a filigree S. That feels personal. And a T. Is the filigree S like the Stussy S? It's exactly like the Stussy S. It's the Stussy S, but then a calligraphy T. It's a mixed symbol, but that's what it is. Thank you. Imagine a copper plate lowercase T with the Stussy S overwhelming it.

S-T. ST with the Stussy S overwhelming it. ST. Does the Stussy S have a Jester's hat on it or is it the classic? Someone's tried to draw a little skateboard next to it, but really struggled with the translation from two to three dimension. Yeah. So all of those things are on the Artificer's mark. You also notice something else as you clamber up to have a look at it, Bobby,

which is that there is something on the granite slab obscured by the ice, but it looks like there's something carved or written into the face of it. What does it say? You should read it. You would have to remove, you'd have to get the ice,

get rid of the ice somehow. Oh, I'm going to bang it with like the back of my dagger or like scrape it off with my dagger. Okay, so you start chipping at the ice get rid of the ice somehow oh um well i'm gonna i'm gonna bang it with like the back of my um like dagger or like scrape it off with my dagger okay so you start chipping at the ice that'll take a little bit of time all right so bobby starts chipping away at the ice and as he does this while he's working um lofty is walking around and he pulls out a little sketchbook and a small leather roll of pencils and he starts drawing very quickly and with surprising confidence a sketch of the entire apparatus. He seems very excited.

Lofty? Yes? Can you draw me riding a bike? Do you mean right now? Yeah. What's Filch snacking on in this still? It really feels like Filch is eating something. Yeah, what's Filch find?

Me helping Bobby, I'm just like licking up the ice that he's chipping off. Okay, well, in that case, I need you to make for me a constitution saving throw. DC 15. Shit. I got a 19, sucked in. Okay, so you take half damage. You take four points of damage. Oh, man.

And your tongue is frozen solid, like it's sticking out of your mouth, rendering you unable to make hard S&T sounds. Shall I draw you with your normal tongue or your tongue like this on the back? Normal tongue. Okay. Bobby, at this point, you've managed to chip away enough at the ice, and Lofty comes around, which is to say Lothario, comes around to look at the um at what you've revealed and it is an strange ancient uh mark a runic symbol of some

kind and make for me bobby a history check that's a 14 plus 3 17 all right so then you recognize it, actually, even before Lothario looks at it, and as the symbol of high Nethereal. Nethereal, as you, Bobby, know, was an ancient precursor civilization on Faerun, an empire that spanned coast to coast, run by mages that kept slaves,

had masterful technologies, and forced all of Faerun to bend the knee to basically their imperial seat. And then thousands of years ago, as they rose, so they fell to obscurity and dust. But it's the huge ancient empire. And this is the symbol of High Netheril. Is that on the stills or the apparatus or the tablet? That's on the stone tablet.

It's been carved into the tablet. Right. And how big are these stone tablets, Dave? Don't laugh, but about six foot long. Are there other tablets within the still or just this one that's on the cart underneath the device? It's actually, I keep saying a underneath the device it's actually i keep saying a cart but it's more of a table um and oh yeah a kind of one that you'd sleep on or all right all

right and a moving table look it's a fucking table and it has straw laid out to protect the stone and there's just one tablet on it and how thin is it it's thick. It's about two hand spans thick. It's also much too heavy for... So this is like a Kubrickian kind of... A monolith, maybe. An obelisk. An obelisk. Okay, so... Oh, it's Bobson!

This is not good. So we should just destroy. Hardly agree there. Yes. Don't you think? No, no, no, destroy. Hardly agree there. Yes. Don't you think? No, no, no, please. I beg of you, this crucial piece of the puzzle that we're only now just getting a glimpse of. Strahd, you cunning bastard.

Wait, you're saying that you don't want us to destroy this clearly evil piece of technology? Well, I don't think you could if you tried. But look, we have it all here. We have the focusing device. Wait, wait.'t think you could if you tried, but look, we have it all here. We have the focusing device. Wait, wait. I think we could give it a go. We've destroyed more interesting and complicated things than this before in our lives. And yet so

covaluable. It does strike me, though, Lothario, that my eye's on you now. Dave, can you mark it in your book the banknote is now skeptical of Lothario I'm not a fucking telltale game what are you talking about well I don't

know I don't know if you've got a market the way nemesis now or something but banknote seems banknote will remember this Lothario is dodgy there's something sus about this guy okay do you so I will okay I'm gonna write that down I don't know what that means but just if I forget can you remind me please I'm going to write that down. I don't know what that means. Just if I forget, can you remind me, please? I'm outsourcing my memory to you, Dave.

Dave, I had a bit... Filch had a bit more ice. I was going to say it wears off, but in that case, it lasts for quite a while longer. Okay. Are you going to destroy the tablet? How are you going to destroy it? Team, friends. Yes. Are you going to destroy the tablet? How are you going to destroy it? Team, friends.

Yes. The story so far. Strahd is doing bad shit and bringing baby vampires together, sucking people's blood, turning them into little gas vials, shipping them here where those little gas vials are put into

this big machine which is putting some sort of evil magic into this stone. Did I miss anything? That is incredibly lucid for you. I mean, I haven't known you for very long. It indeed did feel very lucid. So the thing is, we can either destroy it, we can take it with us, but the thing that we are forgetting is,

we have to get Lothario windswept back to Waterdeep. That's right. You have a letter from Janos Mir, your patron, and he's asked you to bring him back because Lothario is one of two of Banknote Senior's lieutenants in the Resistance and a vital part to reuniting the sort of disparate forces that are laid out in opposition to Strahd.

Now, Lothario, as I see it, we can't leave this technology for stride. We need to take it back to Waterdeep, and you need to come with us. I came to where we are, Ocean Estates, to work out what was happening in the Red Houses, and if this gets us any closer, well, I suppose we can bring it back.

Well, actually, are you trying to persuade him? Make a persuasion check. Oh, yeah, maybe. You can have advantage because of Eden's frankly unbelievable moment of lucidity there. Are you flexing on Zoom right now? Yeah, because of my lucidity. Was that a brain flex, Eden? Yeah, brain flex.

Watch out. That was a 19 on the first roll, so I'll take that. I'm going to just do a wee in the still while everyone's chatting. Okay. Actually, on my second roll, I got a 23, so I'll take that. I think that this is classic spy stuff. You don't just come along to an enemy's thing and just leave it there to keep doing evil stuff. You sabotage.

So I'm going to do a wee in the still. Is this Filch's sabotage trademark? You like the wet bandits? Yeah. Well, you know, because they need to, if they see that it's damaged, then they won't trust it anymore. But if they come back and go, oh, this is just working perfectly, no one's touched it, they won't suspect that wee in the still.

Ho, ho, Filch, you cunning thing. So while you're all talking, Filch, tongue still lolling out, working perfectly. No one's touched it. They won't suspect that we in the still. So while you're all talking, Phil's tongue still lolling out, walks up a small step ladder and turns to face away from you all as she hikes down her scale mail pants and just starts wazzing all over the Am I saying this right? Is that what you're?

Look, I'm no genius, but I don't know if we is going to be enough to destroy this clearly magical device. No, we need to see if the wee freezes or if the wee remains liquid. Or, plus, there could be a secret message on the still somewhere. And you know what? It starts to freeze and there is that moment. For a moment, you all sort of lean in around the stone as if you think for a second

that words are forming in the wee. And then there is a pause and all of you at approximately the same time realise that you are just watching slowly freezing piss and nobody wants to be the first one to speak. What do we think? Just outside of the world,

do we think piss freezes, are they higher or lower temperature than water? It's got impurities It's got impurities in it right? It starts hotter I mean I was just wondering If it's very cold Will the coldness travel up the pee stream into Filge?

That's what I'm worried about Does we have impurities if it's sterile? That's what I'm questioning Is water impure piss then? I think it really depends on what Filge has been drinking I've missed you guys I I've missed you all. Dragon friends, I was going to stay away from Water

Deep for, I don't know if you know, the political strife that is currently plaguing the resistance, but you've convinced me. I'll do it. I'll come back with you and unite my people. And the music spells. What check can I do to work out if this guy's a fucking sus guy?

What is it? Is it insight? Yeah, make an insight check. That is a 19 plus my insight. Is he fucking sus, Dave? You're starting to think he was just born this way, to be honest. He's an excitable man and he is ready to go back to Waterdeep. Bobby has convinced him.

As far as you can tell But of course the DC might have been higher Hing than you rolled In which case he may be about to kill all of them Could have been a billion What? Hang on, hang on What did you mean, Dave? What did I mean?

I'm just explaining to you how Dungeons & Dragons works Because technically I actually rolled a 20 Oh, so you tried to trick me No, I didn't add my modifier Because I thought 19 would be high enough But I actually rolled a 20 You tried to so you tried to trick me? No, I didn't add my modifier because I thought 19 to be high enough but I actually rolled a 20. You tried to trick sweet, beautiful Dave? Sweet, simple Dave? You tried to

take advantage of our sweetest simple kind of stupid Dave? You're sitting at home, Hing. You're sitting at home. I'm ironic. Show me that fucking 20. Show me the 20. Yeah, I'll, um, I'll, uh... What about dice? You know what? know No you don't

The bottom line is That you think he's on the level Where do you want it Dave? I'll email it to you Yeah email it to me Thanks I'm so angry about this Hang on

Sorry Listen to me Focus As far as you know Which means that It is now up to your strength As an improviser To play a character that believes that Lothario is his friend. Do you understand me?

Can I be any clearer? Yes, Dave, I understand. You're still emailing me, aren't you? Yeah, I'm still emailing you. Hey, Dave, is your email address... You know what I'm saying. So are we taking this piss-covered rock with us or what? Well, we can't leave it here.

Well, we can put it in a cart or something, truly. Is there a cart around, Dave? There was a cart back at the house, at Rutherglen House. Have the flames leapt from the house to the cart yet? Well, that was, I mean, yeah, that was hours ago. So you, I guess, no, you don't have a cart. Well, if I know anything, fire is a fickle mistress.

Depending on the way the wind was blowing, it may not have caught a light. Okay, do you know what? The cart wasn't in the house. All right, no, I'm just rolling for it. And this, the cart that was parked outside is still there. If you want to take it with you. If we take this tablet with us, it's not going to be the little halfling who ends up carrying it, is it? It's going to be trusty old dependable Filge.

Yeah, but you don't have any horses as well. There were no horses tied to that cart. I also do worry that if we pick it up, our hands will freeze. And be covered in piss. We can't leave it here. I'm going to let you make with advantage because you're being helped, Filge. You're going to decide this for us. Make for me a DC 17 strength strength check if you succeed then then yes

you can take the cart with you but otherwise phil gently kibosh is the idea phil you you do a sort of practice you realize that if you're going to carry it with you you're going to get piss all over your hands and also it's going to be a little too heavy yeah guys um it's a little too heavy. Yeah, guys. It's a little bit slippery. Someone pissed on it. Fear not, travel companions. Friends, I should say. I drew a beautiful, while, you know, technically very proficient, but also with a lot of soul in it,

I think, artwork of the device, which I can bring back and show Janos Mia. And he shows you a very technical diagram of the still and the sigil on the manuscript and there's a small likeness of a half-orc

riding a bicycle to the side of it. That's Filge riding a bike. That bit should be bigger. Okay, look, I think as we leave, we should just destroy everything here. I've burned these stills down before, I'll do it again. Was that not common knowledge?

That was not common knowledge, no. While we were away, we've all been busy. I've learned to read from a talking dog. I did some corporate sabotage here and burnt these stills down, I think, a couple of years ago. Wait a minute, Lotharius. So back when you were in the house,

when they said that this that their other son had died in a fire in the stills two years ago is that the self-same fire or was that maybe a different fire i guess there's no way we'll ever know um but um does anyone have any uh petrol or other flammables we could pack this with before we set on fire rocks don't catch on fire stone doesn't catch on fire we're gonna have to have to shatter it. Ah, good idea. All right, Dave, I will cast Thunder Wave. The level... Do it at your highest level.

Yes. I'm going to take a quick step outside. Perhaps I shall join you for some fresh air. Oh, yes. It's starting to smell like piss in there The You walk out Into the cold light of dawn

Bastogne and Filge And you face the sun While Hing Banknote casts The level one Spell 15 foot cube

Which is originating 2d8 thunder damage And it'll be pushed 10 feet away from you So you're trying to push You're trying to push push 10 feet away from from you so you're trying to put you're trying to push it 10 feet away yes and then destabilize so it destabilizes it so it doesn't uh fall down but i'll actually be using 3d8s because um i'm just gonna use a level 2 spell slot okay it fails its constitution save uh so it takes uh 18 damage and is pushed 10 feet. Okay, there is a dull crack in the stone on the surface of it,

but the sigil is still readable, and the thing seems to be holding together. Filch, how about you bring in old Thunder's Wake? Sorry, just another detail. The Thunder Wave spell emits a thunderous boom, audibly detectable 300 feet in any direction Ow Oh, okay So there's a giant boom in the room

You're inside a tiny tin still with Bobby, is that right? Yes And Lothario? All of you make No, no, are we? Didn't we go out? No, only Bastogne and Filger are outside No, no, we're not out of the warehouse like they are

But we're not We're underneath the still aren't we You're inside the still But the still is essentially a large tin silo So I thought Oh sorry I misunderstood the architecture of the room I thought that this was built underneath the still Like in a trap door or something

It was You went down underneath But then it goes all the way up to the still You're still What I'm saying is you're in a large Empty Small enclosed space So all of you make for me quickly

A constitution saving throw Bobby, Lothario and You are inside a bell Oh I shouldn't have to, I cast it, I'm fine Make for me the roll That would be a 13 Oh janky janky 13

Yep 13 fails, Lothario is deafened 5 for Bobby Okay, Bobby also fails 18 And banknote, who cast it, is fine. But the two of you are deafened for one hour. I'm having flashbacks of Vantage, I just want to point out.

So Basson and Filge go back in and everyone's just bleeding from the earlobes? Yes. Except for Banknote, who's going interesting, interesting and making some notes, presumably. Yes. I'm going to go and give it a whack with Thunder's wank wait yes wake wake thunder's wake all right perhaps we should try a better kind of thunder and she lifts it over her head and she whacks it down and i got a 17 all right there is another crack and you notice that the ice is starting to melt these two cracks in it it's still very readable.

You can't kind of destroy it into rubble, but it is, the magic of it seems to be dissipating and the ice is slowly melting again. It looks like it's, if you waited for a few hours, it would warm up again. Oh, and as you, as, sorry, as Alex, as well as the second crack happens, also mist seems to rise up from the two cracks and swirls up into the room.

And suddenly you get a couple of visions flying past all of you. Oh, and one other thing as well. Inside the crack, suddenly this kind of sort of a smoky fog starts to rise from the stone until it's enveloping all of you and visions start to dance in front of your head um you see uh a woman standing um holding the hand from like a point

of view and you hear a voice but you can't see it saying will you make me the happiest farmer in the world and marry me and she says i will and then that fades away. And then there's a boy running down the street. And he falls over and grazes his knee. And he goes, ow, my knee, Papa. My knee, it hurts so much. And then you see, the last thing you see is a play. It's like you're watching a play. And it's a musical about cabbages.

And it looks to be pretty good and you catch a glimpse of it and then it goes away. Dave, can I roll as Michael Hing to insight with you to see if any of that was relevant? No, you can't, Hing. These are memories. These are memories. That play was the one we put on

So these are things that have happened And maybe this is If these are all them people's souls Or them memories or something I thought it was eerily reminiscent Of Terrence Malick's Tree of Life Is that Bastard on Talking? Yeah, he's a big Malick fan

Yeah, he is Listened to an audible podcast about it while he was in tokyo okay well we're halfway there let's just finish destroying this and then we'll be on our way okay ignoring the like there's gonna be crack in it and the stuff came out so let's say destroyed destroy yes 12 hours later everyone is watching as Banknote meticulously, with his artifices, masonry tools, a small chisel, and a pneumatic jackhammer device of his own invention, finishes successfully deconstructing the granite into small cubes and pieces of sand.

It has been destroyed. It is now as dust upon the wind. It is gone, and we can now as dust upon the wind. It is gone and we continue playing Dungeons and Dragons. Well, what a good adventure. Let's all go home. We've destroyed the cube and that was

clearly the enemy of all of us. Lothario is... What do you loot? Well, there's the... Do you want to take some of the broken stone? You gather some of it up into a leather pouch. And if you want, there's the bell as well. You can have the bell.

I'll take the bell. Do we have any of those vials? Can I hear now again? Yeah, you can. You can all hear. If you take enough time doing mundane, boring tasks, I guess all probably... You know what?

You've all had a rest. Everybody have full hit points. I don't give a fuck anymore. Hooray. Hit points. Hit points I guess, all probably. You know what? You've all had a rest. Everybody have full hit points. I don't give a fuck anymore. Hooray. Hit points, hit points. Thanks, Hing. No worries, guys. Hey, I'm just here to help out the crew.

Obviously, Dungeons & Dragons is really meaningful to me, and I just want my friends to be able to play the best game they can. That was a fair... I haven't had a rest like that in a long time. Nothing like the sleep of someone who murdered some innocent people and set their house on fire. The four of you walk outside the still and there's a merchant there and he says, hello, my name's Rummy.

I need someone to take these four horses to Waterdeep. I'll pay them all ten gold pieces each if they leave now. How do you feel about that? So they'll take all four. Congratulations. Rummy, tell us your story. Well, thanks for asking. I was actually born a prince.

Of course, the proof of my birthright is buried in a cave not far from here. But it's protected by a powerful sorceress, my stepmother in fact. Are you saying if we went to this cave and. My stepmother, in fact. Are you saying if we went to this cave and killed your stepmother, who you have to promise us is evil, and we recovered your birthright, you could also make us princes and princesses of this land? Oh, I dare say I probably could.

Anyway, you just wanted me for the horses. Goodbye. Daddy's about to have an aneurysm. We'll be back for you, Rummy. Everybody says they'll be back for Rummy. Wait, Rummy, Rummy, before you go. Rummy. Yeah. Rummy, before you go. Rummy. Rummy, before you go.

Please, take one of these cursed bits of granite that smells a bit like ice and piss and never forget me. And bank note, hands Rummy a small cube from the granite tablet. I will cherish this always. Rummy takes it and... I can't wait for the adventures of Rummy next episode.

He takes that piece of granite and he puts it in his pocket. And much like an NPC in a video game that has no more information to give you, he smiles faintly and looks into the middle distance, not making eye contact until you leave the scene. All right. Let's get on this horse. Look, there are four horses and there are five of us. Three days later and you are outside Waterdeep,

the city of splendors where Bobby, you began and as a little boy walked those filthy streets. But it seems that the city has changed. As you crest the hill, you can see it below you. And for the second time in your adventuring careers, the dragon friends find themselves staring at a city that it seems is in some way under lockdown. You can see from your vantage point, large queues of farmers, caravaneers, and merchants trying to get into the city. at the front of the queue one of the black robed

judicators surrounded by city watch toughs are investigating people's wagons and even as you watch capsizing a protesting merchant's wagon and kicking his goods into the dirt i've got a bit of topical gear can i do some topical gear you, I would love for you to right now provide us with a topical joke. Okay, so there's a... You can't hear a lot, but you can hear one side of the conversation. And the adjudicator's saying, Well, do you need to be outside? It doesn't look to me like you're exercising.

I'm walking to the... I am working... I'm just... I think you're out loitering. Do some jumping jacks. I'm not a fast walker. I've got this gammy knee. See, that's some topical gear.

There you go, guys. Timeless. Absolutely timeless. And it will only get funnier as the coronavirus recedes into our collective memory. So, yeah, it looks like these people are being bullied by the guards and nobody's fighting back. There's a real aura of gloom and despair in the queue from where you can see. I should walk right up there and slit his throat. Wouldn't that teach him?

Teach him to have a throat? Yeah, you said it, comrade. You must know a sneaky way into the city with all your sneaking resistance ways. And we can go straight back to Janos Myr and tell him we did a good job for once. Oh, yes, well, I happen to, actually. I have a friend.

I don't know if you've met him. He's a little man. He usually, this time of day, hangs out there. He's the leader of Cell 17. Bobson Dugnut. He's a good man. And as he says this, he walks to a tree and he knocks three times on the tree trunk

and there is suddenly a glowing hairline crack appears in it and then an entire area of it winks out of existence as its illusory and the tree is in fact carved hollow and there are stairs leading down do you like the tree guys you hear from the from inside it's a spooky magic tree top secret and bobs and dougnard walks out eating a kebab hey guys how was bloody uh up the road i know suggested that, but we've already established that all of these secret passages go through like six miles of underground sewer, which means that he's walked his kebab through the sewer. It's good to enjoy a kebab in the open air, though, so you want to just carry a little

bit. It's lamb. Let it breathe. They only do lamb once a week at the kebab shop down in the beggar's court. What do they mostly do? Chicken and beef and rat. Mainly rat. Right. So let's go down into the sewers shop down in the beggar's court. What are they most of you? Chicken and beef and rat. Mainly rat. Right. So let's go down into the sewers and head towards the beggar's court.

Alright, so you head down with Bobson and Lothario as you make your way into the beggar's court, which is as abandoned as it was the first time that you saw it. It seems that the people of the underground of Waterdeep are in hiding, even from this hidden space.

Bobson leads you up to a rickety building built into the central courtyard of the Beggar Court, where you've known Janice Mears has at times held court. And as he walks you through, he takes you not to Janice's office, but instead to a second-story room, where he knocks carefully on the door, which, after he hears a voice, he just goes,

Hey, guys, look, before you go in, it looks a lot worse than it is, okay? Don't, don't... Just, just stay positive, okay? The door opens up and you see a bed and sitting upright in the bed with a tray drinking a small soup is the figure of Janos Myr and mighty, irrepressible underlord crime captain that he is. He does look very mortal in this incident.

The ugly red bruises on his neck haven't healed. You see a walking stick by the bed and he's wrapped up in nightclothes. Yeah, it took you long enough, didn't it? How was it? One at a time! Half man! Yeah. Here's Lothario. Here's your man.

Ah, Lofty. Good to see ya. I knew that if I didn't return you, your father would never hear the end of it, or I wouldn't hear the end of it from your father. I've got a real headache and, uh... If you didn't return you, your father would never hear the end of it, or I wouldn't hear the end of it from your father. I've got a real headache. If you didn't return him to his father, you would yell at his father? Yeah, that's basically how I'd do it. I'd do it as a sort of deflection thing.

You know what I mean? I'd go to his father, I'd say, I think your son's dead. And he'd go, oh no. I'd go, oh, shut up! That way I sort of remain dominant. He coughs weakly into a handkerchief and puts it away and you think you see specks of blood. Lofty didn't tell you his father is,

he likes to pretend he's one of the common people, doesn't he? He does not do a very good job of that. I don't think who my father is particularly relevant right now. I'm back and I'm ready to lead the resistance. You're in no shape to do it yourself and the other faction's a joke. Hand the command to me. What? No, wait, you're the commander here?

I don't think that's really what's happening here. We were allied to Bobson and... With the greatest of respect, Artificer, you don't understand the politics here, so... I knew you were a sucker. Fuck, I knew it. I absolutely knew it. Oh, you are fucking dead

you're fucking dead look everybody just he says hastily looking through his uh uh lothario you you're not the boss of this resistance any more than you were but when you left as you well know this resistance has suffered in a vacuum of sorts since Bacno left And you are half the man he was almost precisely And it would take half as much again for you to gain control Does that work? Is my maths basically sound? No, that was pretty good That was devastating

So, wait, am I right in thinking that Lothario is trying to wrestle power away from my family? Well, your father is missing Presumed dead And in his absence His two lieutenants Who he was sort of Training up for the top job Have not successfully Bested each other To the extent

That they could take over Control of the resistance Janus is kind of More of a power broker He's an Eddie Obeid figure If you will Happily in reference To our international listeners

Who travelled in a time machine From a few years ago But also irrelevant To our national listeners who travelled in a time machine from a few years ago. But also irrelevant to our national listeners outside of New South Wales. One of those power potential leaders is Lothario Winswept III, leader

of a group called the Gentles. But as Janos goes on to tell you, there was another potential claimant to the throne. Eleanor Grundle, mythic hero of the resistance ex-spy who left the resistance just before banknote went missing under slightly dubious terms however her followers a faction called the commons are still very loyal to her and without her assent letothario has no claim

over the leadership of the resistance. Just while this is happening, Bobby's going to use L'Age de Main to basically lift Lothario's sketchbook from his person. Okay, make for me a stealth...

I believe it is a... Sleight of hand. Sleight of hand. Yeah, that's 16 plus 7, so yeah. Okay, you... Yep, you successfully lift it from his pocket Sleight of hand Sleight of hand Yeah that's 16 plus 7 So yeah Okay You Yep you successfully

Lift it from his pocket And slip it into your own The entire notebook Lothario is So Lothario is a little bit Testy at this And he's like Eleanor Grundle

Left the revolution She's She's gone She's no one She's persona non grata To the court I'm not here to argue with you No we flipped again

I'm sorry You guys have got to work this out. Dragon friends, go find Grundle, bring her to me. We'll have a little parlay and work it out once and for all. Wait a second. Weren't we meant to get something for doing this for you? You know what you get? You get a big thumbs up from me and a gold star from Bobson.

He says that, but his hand is in a sling after being manhandled by the guards. So it's like a hypothetical thumbs up. But Bobson has a real sheaf of Gold Star stickers, and he's actually cut them out and he starts handing them out. There's one for you. There's one for you. There's one for you. And there's one for you.

Lothario, would you like a get off me? Where was Grundle last seen then? Eleanor Grundle left the resistance, as you know, just before Banknote went missing. She, however, has not left the city. And he starts rifling through some papers next to his little trundle tray with soup. And he says, yeah, they say that she's holed up on Gilderoy Street in a building of her own. A business of her own design. Yes, a school of some kind.

Halfway house for orphans. Don't really care for it myself. The Grundle School, that's right. And he pulls out a piece of paper and he hands it over to you, Bastogne, who helped him through that troubling sentence. So she goes hiding somewhere in a building named after herself? She started her own business. She's cut the apron strings and run off on herself.

And I said we were done with her But now the banknote's gone We're going to need her back in the fold It doesn't sound like you've been very busy in our absence He coughs He sort of looks to his left where his walking stick is And then he looks to his right where there is a bowl Full of rags sodden with blood And he goes, I've been busy

Alright, I'm going to cast Healing Hands on Janos Mere Okay he goes i've been busy um all right i'm gonna cast um healing hands on uh on janice mere okay and i'm gonna say to him um well you're no good to us in this current state you need to be fighting fit in order to uh help us take on our various enemies in this uh troubling time. One more thing before we go, Janos. Mm. Look at these. We found on the Flossan Estates, we found this contraption.

But no sign of Strahd. There's some sort of focusing. But what's it focus? Piss, maybe. Did you say piss? Yes. No, vials, vials. These vials that sort of release memories.

Stoppered lead vials. And what's this sigil? The Strussie sign. It's Netherol. It's the sign of the Netherol Empire. They haven't been around for millennia. Yeah. No shit.

Leave this with me, he says. You go get Grundle and I'll do some inquiries. I've got some people that know this and that about the netherese it was nine hit points dave that i restored to janice mere all right he he suddenly he sort of shimmers and then his throat looks a little bit better and he experimentally takes his handkerchief and he coughs into it and he looks and the blood has cleared up as in his blood has gone clear? He has joined Scientology. What are you thinking?

Leave this with me. And I thank you for that kind service. Milord, I don't think... Have I met you? Yeah, he's Banknote's son. He's met him. I am the son of Banknote. I'm also Banknote.

Oh, yeah, that's right. You're Tim. Thank you, Tim. I will not forget his kindness soon. Nope. And Tim. Make a note. Make a note.

Make a note that Tim can get whatever he wants from the quartermaster's office. All right, Dave. I thought you might do this. I thought you might do this. So I pre-rolled a magic missile. No. He just gave you a dip in the bag, Hing. Did he?

I gave it to Tim. But no, are you going to kill Janos Mio? No, there's a dip in the bag. There is not a dip in the bag, Hing. Did he? I gave it to Tim. But no, are you going to kill Janos Mere? No, there's no dip in the bag. There is not a dip in the bag. He said he could have whatever he wants from the quartermaster. Tim can. Yeah, Tim can get something from the quartermaster. If Hing swallows his pride and goes to the quartermaster and says his name's Tim.

Yeah, or a deed poll, obviously. Anyway, you're a chip off the old block, Tim. I think your father would be proud if he weren't, you know, obviously dead I'm going to write out this chit here And it says, give Tim any item that he requires from the quartermaster's office That's made out to Tim Now leave me for I am weary and sick and must sleep And then he just literally just goes

Okay The quartermaster is a The quartermaster is run by a goblin in a suit who looks up as you arrive. Oh, yeah. I hope you're there. Oh, yes, hello. I was given this chip and allowed me to have a...

What a sight. I got to dip in the bag. Everybody, dip in the bag. Dip in the bag. Dip in the bag. Dip in the bag. Dip in the bag. Dip in the bag.

Dip in the bag. Now, this is made out to a Tim, so I just need some identification Yes that's me I'm Tim I don't have any Oh no no no no no I'm going to cast Phantasmal Force

Which creates an illusory cube Around the man How is that going to help? Because within the illusion I will put an ID in Banknot's hand So you are creating an entire new room with entirely A 10 foot, it's a 10 foot cube And everything is the same

It's an illusion of the room Except Except I make like an 18 plus card float On Bankna's hand. That's pretty good. But this is like, to be clear, this is like one of those fucking early 2000s 3D movies, right? Because Lion Shield has to like carefully move his hand and you've got to move the card at the same time. Oh, no, it's actually quite easy because Lion Shield's already wearing a

ping pong ball suit. Make for me a little, we'll call it a, just an intelligence check. Make for me an intelligence check. You can have proficiency

because it's your spell. And I'm helping, so advantage. And you need to get 15. I got a natural 20. Oh! Nice. Tim, Tim, Tim.

The quartermaster. The quartermaster, whose name is Blansley the Goblin, looks and says, well, if your name isn't Tim, then I suppose I can't. What was the voice, Ben? Oh, I suppose. Oh, yes. I simply must see some identification that says you're Tim.

And then he suddenly does a double take as he says Tim and he looks at the card again. Goodness me. Of course you're Tim. You've been Tim your whole life. Never have I seen somebody more Tim. I have something for you. And he gets out like a name badge,

a really beautiful ornate name badge that's like embossed and all that. And he kind of magics around it and it says Tim on it. He magics around it? Does that mean there's like glowing lights? Yeah, so it's like when you go to a kiosk and you can get like a friendship bracelet with

a specific name on it. He does that. Now this is on the house. You still get a dip in the bag, but I just want you to wear this and wear this with pride. Thank you so much. Now Dave, how do we do a remote dip in the bag? Well you don't do a dip in the bag but i just want you to wear this and wear this with pride excellent thank you so much uh now dave how do we do a remote well you don't do a dip in the bag because i've said that you don't get a dip in the bag but you can get anything that you want out of the quartermasters supplies i'm i'm sure i heard in the bag play back the fucking taping what do you want what we all what do you want because the quartermaster does not have one of every magic item

in the Dungeon Master's Guide and Xanathar's Guide to Everything and every fucking book that the D&D has created. You're not in heaven. You're not in hell. You're not in a magical plane. But you are in a functioning quartermaster's office and everything that we could reasonably expect he has, he has. So you can get one of anything you can convince me he would have.

Yes. Do you have an itinerary you can convince me he would have. Yes. Do you have an itinerary I can look through? I mean, not an itinerary, a catalogue. An itinerary. A catalogue. He just says, look behind me, and he indicates at shelves that are stacked with every type of armour, weapon, adventuring gear that you could imagine.

There are chains, cryptps Caltrops Beans Nine types of beans Cannoli beans String beans Any magical items? I believe is that a rocket launcher I see over there? No and

Dave this is a weapon of Uncommon rarity It does 5d6 piercing damage and it only weighs 11 pounds is it possible they have one of these No end. Dave, this is a weapon of uncommon rarity. It does 5d6 piercing damage and it only weighs 11 pounds. Is it possible they have one of these in the quartermaster's office? Given that they're at war? Where are you getting that from? Where are you getting rocket launcher? Alternatively, Dave, before you look at them, Dave,

I'll let you choose whether it's a rocket launcher or a bazooka. Thank you for once again empowering me as the dungeon master. He says, this is actually, well, it's funny that you've spotted this. This is a little something of my own invention. It was originally a heavy crossbow, but I have rigged it up with vials of alchemist fire. I think you could fire it probably twice.

It's double barreled, as they say. And it would fire. I believe here it says I have between 80 and. And do you know what? I haven't even named it would fire... I believe here it says I have between 80 and... Do you know what? I haven't even named it yet, so I shall call it the Tim. And he gives you what is essentially a fantasy rocket launcher with two shots that fire four vials of alchemist fire on each salvo, and then it explodes in your face and damages you.

And he's like, yeah, this isn't a malfunction. I haven't been able to fix this. After the second shot, it explodes and damages the user user I'm warning you now, there's no roll involved Just remember that Okay I can't wait to use it once and then give it to someone else Excellent And as the dragon friends sit in the quartermastery's office

Aware that their patron Janos Meir is done under It is clear now that a second mission awaits them for Lothario was but one half of a puzzle of two pieces for Elinor Grundle of the Grundle School must also be claimed if the resistance is to return to its glory as it was under Banknote so it may one day be again. For Banknote was a hero, a mythic figure, a legend amongst people, one who could never be replaced but with two lieutenants under him, and under him, Banknote's son, there may yet be a chance,

if Banknote's friends are thrown into the equation, to find peace once again in lands otherwise claimed by vampires, under rule of night and despair. Such is the way of these dark times. Such is the will of these dark forces. Such is the fate of the Dragon Friends. Thank you. The Dragon Friends are Eden Lacey, Michael Hing, Simon Greiner,

and me, Alex Lee, and are DM'd by Dave Harmon with NPC voices by Ben Jenkins. Shakira Khan produces and designs our website. The podcast is mixed and mastered by Hugh Guest and recorded live from our homes in this age of spooky coronavirus with music by Tom Carty. Sweet dreams. I already did the clap that we're going to end the first record with. Ready?

Yeah. Okay. Five, four, three, two, one. Clap. So, Ben, you ben you gotta listen to him not clap along because you are out of sync i got really excited sorry okay so we're gonna we're clapping on zero we're clapping okay well let's stop it have fun with that here sorry yeah we're sorry hugh good luck with that