Dragon Friends - #6.07. Stiffen Shaftally

Episode Date: May 7, 2020

With their guises secure, the Dragon Friends face their first evening in the halls of the Grundle School. Bobby and Philge search for information, while Banknote and Baston descend into the School's hidden and exclusive depths. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey gang, welcome to another episode of Dragon Friends. It's me, Simon, and just a reminder, if you finish this episode and are hungry for more Dragon Friends, you can always check out our Patreon where we have all of the Twitch adventures we've done, Beef Babes and the Tomb of Annihilation, all there in podcast form for you to enjoy. So check it out. I hope everyone's doing really well and enjoy the show. I snippy, snippy, snippy, snippy, snippy. Keepy, keepy, keepy, keepy, keepy.

Throw yourself on the altar of Hugh, Ben, and pray that you are found one day. Where's Bastogne? He was training in the jungle, popping pancakes. He was running with the wolves. Where was Beale? Learning to read from the

talking dog, yeah. Way back though, he runs his papa's company. The dark lord's trust, the very naughty man. The life of hope we call the dragon. Filch, wake up. Your eyes snap open to find yourself in a strange new room. Rows of bunk beds line a semicircular dormitory all filled with the shape of sleeping students. It is the middle of the night. You're a long way from Kalimshan, your home of the last three years, and unless you're very wrong, someone is calling your name. It all comes back quickly. You are in Switchmire Dormitory, one of four houses at the Grundle School for Wayward Ladies.

You've enrolled in the school and your dragon friends have taken on the roles of guest lecturers. It is a roundabout solution to a simple problem. Find Eleanor Grundle, mysterious headmistress of the school, and convince her to rejoin the resistance against the city's new overlord, the vampire Strahd. You're wearing school-issued winter pajamas, your weapons and armor clumsily folded

on a trunk at the foot of your bed, and there is a gentle rapping on the door to the common room outside. What's the password? Um, I don't know. Whatever. Um, suck a fuck a ding dong.

Come in. The door opens a crack and the face of Bobby Pancake nervously darts around the door. There's lots of girls in this room. Why don't you just come out? It seems weird for me to come in there. You shouldn't be in there. It's weird. So you come out.

Okay, I've got to get dressed. Okay, I'm going out. I'm not going to stay here looking through the door. Bye, Dad. I love you. Bye. Love you. Love you too.

Okay, see you in a bit. A few strange minutes later. And Filge walks in just having shrugged her armor back on with her war hammer held easily in one hand. Over the top of her pajamas, please. Yeah. Alex is nodding. So I'm just kidding.

Al, is it a flannel pyjama situation? We're the winter pyjamas, so you'd hope so. Can I decide what it is? Absolutely. In the Switchmire colours, though. Which are? Do I know what they are? Green and silver, I think we assumed.

Yeah, they're green and silver and they're embroidered already with my name on the top pocket. Who embroidered them at that speed? Tiffany Bunderson. Tiffany Bunderson. Yeah, a devil with a switchblade, but a genius with a sewing machine. Tiffany Bunderson. Write it down, David's Canon. Tiffany Bunderson. I don't want to write it down, but a genius with a sewing machine.

Tiffany Bunderson, write it down, David's Canon. Tiffany Bunderson. I don't want to write it down, but I'm writing it down. And on the back it says, at bedtime we wear house-issued pyjamas. Which is, of course, the house slogan. The house motto. For 500 years, the house motto has been been at bedtime we wear issued pajamas and on top of that um her hide armor um chainmail accessories and a kuturimon

warhammer in her hand and her backpack slung over her shoulder as she very carefully closes the door and blocking out the noise of gentle snoring on the other side. It is the middle of the night, as I said. That was really good, just maintaining the fiction that we have just then. That was good, and that's what I was doing too, maintaining the fiction of you being my daughter. So, let's go. Okay. So, let's go Okay Can I just ask

The move you made there, Simon Was it that Bobby is Bobby's now awkward about the fact that Filge and Bobby said I love you to each other Kind of I think there's like There's like I think there's an un there's, but it was like, there's like tension. There's like, I think there's an unresolved.

Yeah. I love it. Personally. I love it. So now he can really relate to feeling awkward about telling someone he loves them. When did you last call your mommy? Now banknote of course, isn't there. Neither is Bastogne.

They went downstairs to the downstairs salon under invitation from Miss Grundle. So, Bobby and Field, you're upstairs. And, Bobby, your mission, as was given to you by Banknote, I have to say, was to explore upstairs. But, of course, you are a free agent. So, what have you come to do? Yeah, well, so I tell Field that, like, Banknote said that there's something upstairs that's hidden,

so we absolutely must go and check it out. Meanwhile, he's gone with Baston to meet Grundle. So, yeah, let's go. Let's go check it out. What's on the top floor? I don't know. Look, I don't have all the answers here. Why would I know?

Let's just go. Let's check it out. All right. Don't be weird. I'm not being weird. You're being weird. You're being weird. You've been being weird for a very long time,

since the beginning of this whole thing, since we saw you in that burned-out pub. So if anyone's being weird, let's just remember that you're the one who started being weird, and I'm not weird. I think you were weird when you jumped off the boat and didn't say bye, and then somehow have only gotten weirder. Oh, I think you were weird when you chose to bring me back from the dead

and swapped another one of our friends for me so that I would take his place, indicating that it's my responsibility that he's now disappeared. So that's also pretty weird when you think about it, right? It's weird. That's a kind of a weird thing to do, to put on somebody. So they have the responsibility for somebody disappearing into another dimension. That's weird that's a kind of a weird thing to do to put on somebody so they have the responsibility for somebody disappearing into another dimension that's weird it would it would be weirder maybe to i mean let you die in space forever but it's also weird to um just give me

so much guilt that i can hardly breathe every day so that that's pretty weird. You know what's also weird? Sound of word weird. Weird. Weird. Like, weird. How do you even say weird? Okay, leaving this aside for a second. Taking a quick passage through the kitchens, knocking on the door to the cellars and saying the password,

Indelicto. Banknote, you and Baston are admitted after a brief pause into what looks like a very small modestly appointed speakeasy obviously a subdivision of a much larger room downstairs with another one of the prefects sitting at a stool at the door and then even another one on the other side of the room at a bar the The room is otherwise empty. It looks like it could hold a small crowd, but it's currently empty. Yes, hello. Thank you for letting us in here. We are here to see

Eleanor Grumbel. The figure that you have not met is a platinum-haired, as I said, school prefect in Switchmire Colors. Ben, we have met them, however, because it is Daisy Ribbons. Nobody sees... Nobody sees Grundle without Grundle Say So. Okay, well, could you please go and get her then?

That's not how this works. What are you doing here? You here for the show? You here for a good time? What's going on? We just had a, I won these tickets by by naming 15 dragons are you sure the letter of introduction yes was it tickets over yeah whatever it was oh right well let's get you set i'm so let's get you set up with the booths then come on come this way but before you do she says just so

you know the gratuity for the room, for the table, is 150 dragons. What is this table? What is this show? Well, it's real nice. It's a table. It's ringside. We bring you drinks. It's a bottle service. Ringside? Is this some sort of, is there a fight?

Look, if you've got the tickets, you know more than you already should. You know, it's the most secret show in town. Excuse me, little girl. Yes? Are you a student here at the school? Oh, well, I guess you could say that. I'm a prefect at the school.

Go to bed. What is going on here? And out walks, out of a curtain behind the bar, walks a figure you've already met, which is Justine Plummer, another prefect of the school who recognizes you, banknote, and quickly walks over. Oh, Daisy, I see you've met our newest benefactors of the school. And she's kind of like nudging her. We must be very kind to these gentlemen and offer them only the best service we have. Please, right this way.

She walks you up to the bar, and as she does, she's pointing out, she says, of course, this is just a small bar. You're welcome to come here, but as I think Daisy said, there is table service. Can I ask, and she's eyeing the valise that you're carrying, Sir Banknote, how much are you planning to wager today? We'll need to make sure that we write you up with a suitable line of credit.

Oh, no. No, I will stand off on betting anything. My friend here is a terrible, notorious gambling addict. I can't get enough. And it would actually be crippling to his very weak soul if we were to be involved in the sport of chance. Well, then I'm afraid you will have to pay. This is a...

If you're not here to gamble, then you will need to pay 150 dragons. Unfortunately, we don't... What's the minimum bet? 150 dragons. Oh, well, this isn't working out at all. Okay, well, I'm not gonna gamble any money. I'm not gonna pay anything. Tell you what I'm going to do.

What? I'm going to write you a line of credit for 2,000 dragons. Okay, but I'm not gambling it, so you can feel free to write me a line of credit, but I'm not gambling it. Nope, it's fine. It's all gratis. Well, not gratis, of course. It's credit. But I'm going to write it, and you can put'm not gambling with it. I'm going to write you the credit. No, it's fine. It's all gratis. Well, not gratis, of course. It's credit. But I'm going to write it and you can put it in your hot little pocket and you cannot spend it.

She hands each of you a small wooden tray with chips. And she's like, and all you need to do is return these chips back to me at the end of the night and we can clear your account. Okay. I'll take care of yours if that's okay. Just, I'll take care of yours if that's okay. I feel like, you know, given your nature and the things I know about you, it would be foolish for you to hold on to these chips. She gave the chips to me. They're my chips.

Please don't, no. I just feel like there's part of you that cannot control yourself around gambling. Of course, because of your letters of introduction, I won't hesitate to give you a drink. Gratis, of course. Are we drinking neat or royal tonight? Royal? No, we're not drinking. We're not here to drink.

I think royal. No, look, I cannot stress enough. Royal for the gentleman. Again, these drinks are complimentary, just part of the table service. You keep saying, no, I've been fucked by a drink too many times on this adventure. Why don't we do one of each? So neat for the blue gentleman, royal for the very attractive, bold one. You're making all these things up, and I know they're going to be, some of them will be bad, is what I know.

Bank note, chill out, man. Daisy, back to the tables. Gentlemen, if you will follow me. And she pulls open a curtain and smoke wafts out. Sort of cinnamon clove smoke. And it's very murky inside as she ushers for you to enter into the room proper. Okay. Hello there.

Allow me to introduce myself. Are there people sitting down it's it's it's it's a lounge it'll take you a second for your eyes to adjust uh she's walking you towards a table and people are are in their own conversations it's not like they've all looked up or anything okay um so she walks you through and as i said it takes your eyes a moment to adjust but you start getting the sense that this is a larger salon room absolutely dominated it has to be said by a timber framed fighting ring that somebody has erected in the center of the room with quite elegant tables dotted all around at small black tables and even gloomier booths ringing the outside of the room impossible to ignore is one booth on the far side of the room that is lit by candles and

is quite fancy even in these decadent surrounds. And you can see that there are two figures in the candlelight sitting there. Otherwise, the room has a few figures dotted around, but it's probably a quarter occupancy. Those two figures, one of them is a man dressed in a heavily embroidered suit, cut in the gothic style, ruby red waistcoat, long pallid, beautiful face, fiddling listlessly with a heavy steel goblet in hands that are heavy in rings and gemstones, while he's clearly waiting for the night's entertainment. And sitting next to him is another woman in a tightly cinched, high-backed funerary dress, unadorned in jewellery, save for a simple black ribbon choker with a brilliant fire opal pin.

Her age seems impossible to tell, but her hair is a brilliant shock of white, luminescent in the darkness and worked into an impressive and imperial cut. What's a high-backed dress, Dave? It's like a dress with a bit of a chair hanging out the top. It's like a chair dress. It's like a hoodie

for good posture. I know what Dave means. Help me out here, Ben. It's one of those Tudor dresses that has like a big thing

coming up the back of it. You're fucking see, Ben has to back me up. I think it's like a high collar. It's funny that that's

the back. It's just an extension of the back. I mean. That's like saying a girl with long legs has a long bum. Well, when you think about it, that's true. Where's the lie? Do they put us in a booth or in one of the ringside tables? They place you on a small table and you see that some drinks have been laid down on it for you.

small table, and you see that some drinks have been laid down on it for you. Oh, goody. And Justine says, if you need anything, you can come to the bar yourself or just ring this bell. And she places a small platinum bell beside you. I ring the bell immediately. Okay. Bastard. Okay, I'm right here.

I mean, this is a bell to summon me if I'm not. Will Eleanor be in attendance this evening at the festivities, show, battle, dance, strip? What is going to happen? Eleanor is currently already in attendance. She's just over there. Which one is she? Do you see the high-backed dress? You look again at the, as I said, the man in a suit and the woman with the white shocker, beautiful architectural hair.

And who's that fellow with her? Why, that's Lord... Well, I probably shouldn't say, actually. If you need anything that's not... But do, though. Go on. Who is he? Well, I...

Make a persuasion check if you want. Oh, I'm going to try and persuade her. Here we go. Oh, that's a hot, spicy five. Plus two is seven. Seven, Dave. Seven hot, spicy five. Plus two is seven. Seven, Dave. Seven is not good enough. Okay.

May I say one thing we like around here is good cheer. One thing we don't is a lot of questions. And as she says that, she takes your empty goblets and she... Empty goblets? No, they're empty goblets. And there's some two small canisters. And as she's talking, she takes one and she places it in front of you, banknote, and then she unstoppers a beautiful old diamond-cut decanter

and starts pouring a whiskey out in front of you. Thank you so much for that. If you'll leave us to it, we have some business to attend to this evening. Please leave. Bast on. Bast on. Yes, banknote. She stoppers the decanter, and she starts picking up the next one as you go. Please leave. Bast on. Bast on. Yes, banknote. She stoppers the

decanter and she starts picking up the next one as you go. Keep going. She's listening to us as we speak, banknote. Yes, I know she's listening. I'm trying to get her to leave. So excuse me, madam. We have some business we need to do. Please. I mean, I don't know exactly how to say this, but the adults

are talking now. You're pouring rather slowly. Can you repeat that? You couldn't pour slower if you were putting it back in the bottle. Sorry, which of you gentlemen had royal, which of you had neat? It doesn't matter. Just leave us. We have a job to do. Fine. I'm very sorry. I have a job to do

right now. Which of you had royal, which of you had neat? I had royal, but also go to bed. I had the neat one. Here's the canisters. Go help yourself. And she's kind of irritated and she switches off and she leaves. The service here is terrible, by the way. Anyone? Bastard. Bastard.

Look at me. Look at me. Look at my eyes. Look at me. Okay. I need you to do something very important. Okay. Is it like a grey? Concentrate. Concentrate. Bastard. Yes. What? Bastard! Yes? What? Yeah, okay.

I am going to go over there and talk to Eleanor Gwundal. I'll come with you. And try and convince her to come back to the Resistance, okay? Great idea. I need you to stay here with these drinks and these chips and don't move, okay? Do not go anywhere. Promise me me hey promise me more like a black what okay banknote are you going over yeah i'm going all right so banknote you start making your way slowly across the room um eden and the other glass and the canister, the stopper vial is still in front of you.

Hmm. There's a, there's, there's, so there's a drink that's open and a drink that is closed. That was, yeah, so, so banknote's drink was open, but yours isn't, is still stoppered. Well, I'll just swap them over and drink his one. Okay. Just in case it's poison day. don't you're right okay so the wage you're making there is it's more likely that dave has engineered a situation in which i would

be poisoned than you would be poisoned what's just cushy oh wait hang on she opened she was about she was about to point you a drink you can do that what you want so you're going to drink bank notes drink hmm do you know what see how long it takes hing to a banknote to have this conversation because maybe baston will have a very long think about this okay it's best on stairs he just stares at the glasses two drinks meanwhile upstairs the uh You make your way up the stairs to the third floor, Bobby and Filge, and the area seems to be mostly abandoned. There are low-lit gas lamps dotting the sides of the corridors and a long hallway at the top of the third floor

with three doors coming up the side. What do the doors look like, identical? Yes, they all that's i mean essentially yeah okay well we say essentially what's the okay well um they're all made of timber they all have door handles they all have keyholes um one at all make a perception you know you're gonna make me do this make a perception check okay that's a 17 okay 17 yep all right you look at the doors and you can tell by the way that one of them Let's make a perception check. Okay. That's a 17. Okay, 17? Yep.

All right. You look at the doors and you can tell, by the way, that one of them scratches the floors. That suggests that it's used a lot more often than the other one. Another one has slightly damp footprints in front of it, suggesting that somebody often comes out while dressed in a towel or damp from the bath, suggesting that it's probably a bathroom. And you see breadcrumbs on the third door handle, suggesting that someone eats inside them. All of this flashes out beautiful mind style. You happy? Yeah, that's great.

I'm going to test the door. I'm just going to inspect the door that's used the most. Okay, so you look at it, and you can see it opens easily. It's not currently locked, although it is lockable, and the door swings open to reveal a sumptuously appointed personal office. Two large heavy wooden bookcases flanking the door, a giant old-fashioned wooden desk and fireplace. And behind the desk is a large portrait of a woman in a high-backed, tightly cinched dress with beautiful white hair and written underneath, it says, Eleanor Grundle.

This is her office. Yeah. Should we say hi to her? I think that's a painting. It's very good. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty good. You know how they say that sometimes like the eyes follow you around the room it doesn't do that but it is still very

realistic remember that dog with the human eyes oh yeah paintings give me the heebie-jeebies after that anyway sorry ben you're 100 right're not going to get through this adventure. Okay, I'm going to do an investigation check. Okay, cool. What are you investigating for? Well, I'm looking around for like hidden sort of places where you hide something or like secret drawers, doors, things like that. Make a little roll for me. That's 18 plus 6. Okay um running your fingers around carefully um you don't luckily

you no traps go off or anything and you notice a pair of hairline hinges on one side of the painting on the other side of the desk okay so i'm going to try and like um swing it out like it's hinged yep if i can work out make it work. It very carefully and quietly slides open, revealing a recessed safe on the other side of the portrait that looks like, you know, with a lock on it. Okay. What do you reckon? Should I give it a go?

Yeah. Well, you just, what kind of, is it a dial or how is the safe locked? Or is it a picky one? It's a, just, yeah, it's a key. A key. Oh. All right. I'm going to give it a shot.

So that's 12 plus, where's all my sleight of hand? 10. Oh, 22? 22. All right. It's easily, you work it out. Three tumblers, very simple mechanism. Can you make a perception check for me as well?

That's a 15. 15. 15? Okay. You make quick work of the lock, and as you withdraw your little tension torque, you hear a snap, and you look and you see that a fine silver filament that is laid inside the lock has been severed. And there's a click, and the safe door opens.

Okay. Does it seem like a magic, like, alarm kind of thing? Or is it just like a... It looks like a mechanical alarm sort of thing, but it's not making any sound. Okay. And what's in there? You can see a sheaf of papers and a small pouch and what looks like a black ribbon with a pin with a beautiful fire opal on it. I'm going to grab the whole lot and say to Filge, I think we need to get out of here straight away

because I think that alarm is going to notify somebody. Okay, you grab it, you race towards the door, and as you head towards the door, you suddenly hear footsteps, two pairs of footsteps coming down the corridor. Are there windows to the outside? No, this is all an interior room. Okay. Is there room to hide behind the painting?

No, there's not. There's the desk and the bookcases interior room. Okay. Is there room to hide behind the painting? No, there's not. There's the desk and the bookcases, possibly. Okay. Bobby's going to hide. Bobby, you hide. I make an excuse. Okay. Make your hide?

Make your stealth check? Yeah. It's at 18 plus deception? No, stealth. Stealth. Uh, yeah, 28. Okay, uh, you dive behind the desk and hold your breath as you hear the footsteps coming around the door.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Banknote, you have made your way to the table, um, with these two somewhat gothic-looking figures. Um, excuse me, uh, madam, sir me uh madam sir uh lord uh might i be able to introduce myself my name is you taking a seat or you just stand i just so i understand how i'm just sort of i guess i'm uh they're in a booth right yeah yeah yeah i guess i'm i guess i'm where the waiter would stand great okay grundle is like making eyes at clearly security people. You know what I mean?

Like she's making those eyes across the room to alert people of what's happening. But she hasn't rung her bell yet. She hasn't rung her bell. And Silas is doing the same. His name's Silas, is it Ben? Ben. Is that his name?

Does that help you in any way? Well, well, well. The name's Silas? Hmm. I wonder what clues there might be in the word Silas. Well, if I quickly Google the word Silas, as I'm allowed to. You're sucking the energy out of the fucking thing.

So, what were you saying? We interrupted you, Bank Knight. I'm standing over and kind of looking down. Excuse me, sir, madam, my lord. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lion Shield, banknote, of the Rutherglen banknotes. Madam, I believe you knew my father. And Silas, for that is his name, says to Grundle,

I was rather under the impressions of the pride. You assured me, dear Elnor, that we would not be disturbed tonight. And it does seem that that is what's happening. Well, shall I gather my things? I sort of thought, and she's like,

no, please, I will take care of this. Is that the voice? This is the voice. Darling, you seem lost. I think your table is over there. Take yourself. Take your little face and get out of my area.

Okay? If you just give me a moment of your time. Do you see this bell that I have? I have not touched it yet. I do not need to touch it because you're smart. You're a smart little boy, okay? Now, meanwhile, I'm just going to leave you there for a second. Best on your watching this happen at your table.

And you're still just sitting quietly. So they're sort of having a little conversation. Yeah, I'm being incognito, but ready to strike. Okay. Justine Plummer walks past again, and she's like, It won't be long now until the first match. Top up your drinks? Listen, how do I make a bet? Is there a prospectus or something?

A form guide? She flashes you a very charismatic smile and she says, you simply need to give the chips to me and tell me. The first match is Claudette Delacure versus Punch-Up, two of our brightest prefects. Whoa. Okay, well, look, let me just count all my money and I will give you how much I have.

What? Hello? In front of you, you have 2,000 dragons worth of chips. Well, take one 10% of my chips. As a tip? No, not as a tip. What have you done for me? Justify this tip to me now, you saucy girl.

It is customary to tip your croupier. Ben, you don't know your own job. That's not the job you're doing. No, it's not the... Look, for the drinks alone, I mean, I know they're gratis, but obviously they are not necessarily conventional, so it is typical. Here, just take 100 of my chips and leave me

alone i'm busy looking spying right now okay okay get out of my business so you give her 200 dragons worth of chips yes on punch up she sounds good 200 200 dragons on punch up excellent um so bank note you're still there. And she's made it clear she's not happy, but this is not an outright dismissal yet. This bell, there's no need for the bell right now. I simply have some questions regarding my father. You see, he's missing,

and I'm just trying to get back in contact with him. Might I be able to organize another time to speak with you, ma'am, at a more convenient period? Sorry, darling, what did you say your name was? Who was your father that I meant to know? My name is Lion Shield Banknote, of the Rotherglen Banknotes Distillery. She, like, visibly...

Fine gins and mediocre. They both, both people at the table visibly stiffen at that. What kind of stiffen? Like in the... In the pants? Like shaftily? In the pant region? Shaftily, yeah.

Shaftily. In the pant. She keeps her smile, but it kind of wavers a little bit. And it drains from her eyes. And Lord Silas goes, well, that's an unwelcome name, isn't it? Gosh, you know, you think you're known and established, but then all of a sudden you've got banknotes up in here.

And she leans in to you, like puts a placating arm on his um sleeve and leans in and goes i don't know what you're doing darling but you need to stop right now okay and then that's it that's all she says okay she turns back she turns she pointedly turns her back to you and um and starts talking in hushed whispers to Silas. Okay, then I'll just go back to Bathstone then, I guess. Okay, so you're heading back to your chair. As you head down, you hear a bell ring.

And a few more people have entered the room now. And a bell begins to ring as Justine calls Plummer in the corner. She calls, final bets, final bets, please, ladies and gentlemen. Bastard! Sorry, it seems to me that some of these chips are missing from the pile. I bet on a girl called Punch-Up. She sounded lively. Bastard!

Dammit! What did I say to you before I left here? I have no memory of that. No, you're li... Look at me with your big dumb eyes. I can see... You do have a memory. You do have a memory.

You keep saying you don't remember, but I can see it in your eyes. Look, it was only 200 chips. You never let me have any fun. You could bet as much as... You're a monk! You're not supposed to be gambling! Truly, you have humbled me, banknote. This is not a way of the eleven.

I will place 200 chips on the other girl to balance it out. Justine is back in an instant. It's almost like she can hear you from the other side of the room. Sorry, was that another bet? 200 on the other girl. But that would... The odds are identical. That would... And we would still take our cut.

You understand? If you bet on both girls, can you lose? Well, so be it. So be it. Is there something wrong with the refreshment, sir? I noticed you haven't poured. I have a suspicion that it's poisoned. Is it?

Excuse me? The beverage you served me, poisoned? Make an insight check. Make an insight check. Even before she says anything. Ooh. 22. She seems genuinely offended that

poison is the furthest thing from her mind. And she says, you ordered the royal, yes? It is considerable difficulty to procure obviously why would we wish to poison people who are placing very generous bets in our establishment and that we hope to have back if there's something wrong with it we can bring you anything you like i'll have some water and my friend here will drink both of these banknote okay and banknote is and you take the and pour it out

into the glass in front of banknote all right you unstopper the vial they hit the lead vial and you pour out and a stream of ripe um oxygenated blood fills the goblet and she looks at you and she says the very best quality recently sourced. Meanwhile, upstairs, the footsteps coalesce into the figure of two quite small, about 15 year old looking girls, both in Switchmire school uniforms with badges proclaiming them as junior prefects holding hands. One of them holding a lantern as they walk slowly into the room to see you there, Filge. Boo! You're the new girl. What are you doing here? Nobody's allowed Mrs. Grundle's office. Well, what are you doing here in Mrs. Grundle's office?

We saw the door that was open. Well, is that a reason to go into the office, girls? These are twin sisters, so Eden, why don't you play Maisley Throp and Ben can have Lameria Throp. Yeah, I'm Maisley Throp and I'm mean. I'm a mean girl. I'm the nice one. Yeah, you ain't supposed to be in here, new girl.

Well, I just went to bathroom and me got lost coming back. I mean, it all staircases and stone walls to me here. So to be clear, your excuse is that looking for the downstairs privies you got lost, walked a flight of stairs upwards, took a left into a private office. I was looking for the upstairs privies. Me heard the upstairs ones were better. Hey new girl, why don't you recite the house words to prove your worth to us? At bedtime, we wear house-issued pyjamas. Damn it.

That's pretty close, actually. She's past muster. She's very good. Well, get out of here. No, no, absolutely not, Ian. I'm giving you way too much permission. She's like, you can't just be upstairs. This area is expressly forbidden.

We're going to have to tell Daisy Ribbon on you. Yeah, and Daisy Ribbon, don't take no prisoners. Or brush her teeth, ever. Me and Daisy are tight Oh yeah? Listen girls Why don't you run back to your dormitory And tuck yourselves in

Wait that's your dormitory I sleep next to you You go in I'll be in soon And if you breathe a word of this to Daisy You will wake up With the biggest wedgie of your life I've already had a pretty big one.

This is a pretty big play. These are prefects who are doing their job patrolling the grounds. You're a new student, but you're trying to intimidate them. Is that right, Alex? Yeah. Okay, cool. So why don't you make an intimidation check for me? They haven't spotted you, by the way, Bobby, just so you know.

So I'm going to need, you're going to need to beat um i think because there's two of them and they think there's only one of you you have disadvantage on this you need dc 13 i got 12 okay they look at you and they say on your feet miss back to the common room and they they seem to expect you to leave now um i leave okay so they take you back to the common room and bobby you exhale as the room empties and you're still holding the sheaf of papers in your hand okay i'm going to take the opportunity to um just have a look at them okay um you see they look quite complicated sort of hard to understand uh the majority of them seem to be declarations of sorts by various nobles, all signed or marked.

And they are discussing, well, make for me, actually, can you make an intelligence check? Because these are sort of legal documents. That is a 10. No, it's a 17. Okay, so, for instance, the top one is, you understand, is a letter signed by someone called the Marcan de Corvo that is agreeing that in exchange for the erasure

of a 20,000 dragon debt to the school, that he is providing information of sorts as to the movements of the Masked Lords through the cities. And there's an itemized journal showing the information that he's given and how much of his debt has been erased as I said there's also um the the beautiful pin and there's another clipboard that seems to have a list of people's names with dates and fluid ounces written on them okay um I guess I'll just go back to my quarters and wait for Banknote and Bastogne to get back.

Okay, so you're going to head back downstairs? Yeah. Okay, so you head to the guest quarters and you very carefully lock the door behind you, giving you some more time to study the documents. Banknote and Bastogne, you are downstairs. note and best on you are downstairs okay uh no thank you uh that's all we'll have for for now um please go away from the table have we misunderstood where the the grundle school does its best to anticipate all the desires of our guests uh did you were you both looking for the royal i can take the whiskey away no No, I normally have my blood cooked.

This is totally fine. Thank you so much for this delicious drink. I can't wait to put it into my mouth and just chug it down. It's fatty. She looks a little confused and she sees another of the bartender prefects standing nearby and she says,

Mercy, if they don't drink in the next minute, let me know. There must be something wrong with the batch and she sort of wanders away if they don't drink in the next minute let me know there must be something wrong with the batch and she sort of wanders away. I don't want to

drink the blood. It's not it's not cool with me. Okay okay that's fine that's fine you have to drink it you have to drink it. You notice at this

point by the way that there are beautiful mirrors lining the room and that you can only see the reflections of some of the patrons of this bar. All of them are in black, many of them in suits and dark colors,

and many of them with these metal goblets, including the lord that was at that table banknote that you were sitting at. So we can't see his reflection or we can't see his reflection? They're in a booth. You can't see the two of them, but you can see some of the people at the other tables and a few of them, you can't see their two of them but you can see some of the people at the other tables and a few of them you can't see their reflections okay look look baston yeah i need you to i'm i'm gonna suggest something right now that's probably that's gonna sound

very bad but we need to both we're in a war okay. And this is clearly a hive of vampires. You can see some of the people. You can see all of the students as well. It is a hive of vampires, and it just happens to be... What's that last word? You keep mumbling the last word. I can't hear you. A hive of...

Vampires. What? It's a hive of vampires. Speak up when you talk, boy. No, because they have preternatural hearing. Who? I'm not going to. Both of you make perception checks for me.

14. 16. Okay. Two heavily ringed hands clamp down on both of your shoulders. Uh-oh. As you hear a voice saying we're having a conversation about vampires oh no and you turn and you see that the figure of silas the suited man has left the booth and wandered over to the two of you as he pulls a chair opposite you and sits down between you, pouring into his goblet from the decanter of blood.

Okay, okay, okay. Banknote looks at Baston and he's like, like, let me lead this. Okay. Ah, yes. Hello. I hope, um, I don't know if you can be trusted, but I am one of you. And then

winks. Standing in front of a mirror? Okay, it's fine. It'll work. It's definitely gonna work. I'm so sorry. You're what? Land of gentry, perhaps?

A nobleman? A poet? A man of means? I believe I'm all of those things. I'm going to be very charitable and I'm going to say that the mirrors are positioned in such a way that you guys are in a blind spot.

So at your table, you can't see people. Just so you know. Okay, and then back note goes, you know what we like to do? Bottoms up. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. This is what we have to do. Bottoms up. The taste of blood is metallic, sharper than you expected, and nothing quite allowed you to anticipate how warm it is. It is being served at a very warm temperature. Okay. As you start to drink down six fluid ounces of warm blood

watched only by the approving glare of Justine Plummer and one Silas of the Ebon Flame. Vampire newly arrived in Waterdeep and the horrified frozen look of Baston Indrirovich who is not helping at this moment in any ways but the bell continues as you see two figures start to step up onto the stage each of them in the fighting garb

tight leather pants and vests with small daggers as they bow towards miss grundle bow towards the audience and pull their knives into fighter's position it seems that you have stumbled onto something very dark and you are in deep sun to find out what happens next tune in to the next thrilling and kind of disgusting episode of dragon friends thank you does this mean i can be in your club? The Dragon Friends are Alex Lee, Michael Hing, Eden Lacey and me, Simon Greiner. And we're DM'd by Dave Harmon and Ben Jenkins. Dragon Friends is recorded in our homes in this age of isolation.

Shakira Khan produces and designs our website. The podcast is mixed and mastered by Hugh Guest with music this episode by Tom Cardy. Bye. Runs his puppets, comes for me The heart-worn strides The very naughty man Find a way together The light for hope We call the Dragon Friend And we start at ten? Yes. We won't get to zero, but that doesn't matter. Okay.

Ten. Start again. Sorry, I didn't realise I was second.