Dragon Friends - #6.08. The Metallic Fanta

Episode Date: May 21, 2020

Surrounded by enemies and their cover starting to slip before their eyes, The Dragon Friends are locked into a wager for their very lives. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

don't put this at the end of the podcast here don't you fucking dare well that just cemented it where's best on he was training in the jungle bobby pancakes he was running with the wool where was he learning to read from the talking dog yeah where's bank though he runs his poppers company dark lost trust a very naughty man the life of hope we call the dragon friend The lecturers guest rooms at the Grundle School are minimalist but tastefully appointed

Like much of this grand old house Bobby Pancakes, you make your way quietly back into your rooms Humming with the energy of a thief who got away with it You have just returned from a midnight mission upstairs to the private offices of Eleanor Grundle, and only now that you are back in the safety of your room alone at the dead of night do you have time to properly investigate your finds. You lay the papers out on the desk in front of you.

Should I roll an investigation check? Yeah, make for me just a quick investigation check. Okay, that's an 18. Okay, so as I said, a lot of these are signed by noted luminaries of the cities, judges, heads of the adjudicators, even sort of lords and ladies and gentry. Any streamers, Dave? Any big-name streamers? A very popular bard as well.

And all of them, there's a common thread in all of these that they owe money to the school and they are performing services to Miss Eleanor Grundle in exchange. Some are offering names up of famously anonymous masked judges. Some of them are providing access to their ships, to warehouses that they are meant to be protecting. One high-ranking judicator is giving her regular updates on the patrol routes through the city with promises to bring her new ones whenever they're changed. Also, as I said, there's this clipboard with names next to fluid ounces and dates.

And as you look, you see that the same names are coming up again and again. First, Eleanor Grundle, then Justine Plummer, then Eleanor Grundle again, Punch-Up, Eleanor Grundle, the Claudette Delafleur. The list is quite short and each of them has a fluid ounce total next to them. Something seems very wrong here. and each of them has a fluid ounce total next to them. Something seems very wrong here. Okay. Do I... Is there paper and parchment in the room? Also, you notice that...

Sorry, you also notice that banknote and baston have not yet returned. Yes, there is paper and parchment. Okay, I'm going to just make a quick copy of some of this information just to have it separately, if I'm going to use it to sort of barter with so that I can hang on to it. Do I have enough time to get all of it or is it just like I could get a couple of big names

that I'd recognise or something to write down? You have enough time to maybe get the... to copy, as I said, the Mark And one that I told you and the Judicator's Notes and the clipboard. You can certainly copy the clipboard. You also... The gem is very cold to the touch and it seems a bit magical in property, just so you know as well. Can I do an Arcana check? clipboard you can certainly copy the clipboard you also the gem is very cold to the touch and it doesn't it seems a bit magical in property just so you know can i do an arcana check you can do an

arcana check yeah why aren't you getting mad about it why you have one of your patented dave harman aneurysms so what simon's doing is he's using the arcana skill to determine if something is magical in property i got a 14 a 14 it is magical in property it has um some kind of evocation um magic and there's a strange necromantic flair to it too you can't tell more than that you would need to use some kind of detect magic ability but you it is a magical item and what is it? It's a sunstone or it's an opal? It was a sun opal, yeah. It's a brilliant fiery red. In the time it takes you, you become increasingly uneasy

as you realize that now Bastogne and Banknote still haven't returned. I think I probably need to go and get Filge and fish those guys out of trouble because it seems more than likely that they're um in a den of vampires yes so you make your hunch is correct you make your way down to the common room and uh the door if i know if i know those two rapscallions they're probably in a den of

vampires the door to the switch my common room is as locked as it was the first time. And to a thief as accomplished as you, it takes half the time to unlock it a second time. As it swings open, you see a fire that is now almost out in a very gloomy room. And sitting next to the fire with a tall glass of milk is Filge. Okay, so Bobby sticks his head around the corner and is like, Hey, Filch. Okay, so Bobby sticks his head around the corner and is like, um, hey, Filch. Filch.

Yes? Bobby. What? I'm just drinking a very tall glass of milk. Oh, do you want me to come back? No, it's okay. Okay. Come in. Is it weird if I come in? No, there's no girl sleeping here. It's just me. Okay. Come in. Is it weird if I come in? No, there's no girl sleeping here. It's just me.

Okay. All right. Do you want a tall glass of milk? Yes, but no. But Filch is already pouring you a tall glass of milk. Okay, thanks. It's a good one with the creamy stuff on top. Okay, thanks.

Unhomogenized. Oh, wow, they usually only sell that as pet food. It's bad for you. It can have germs. No, you're thinking of unpasteurized. Oh, yeah. This is delicious. Meanwhile...

Sorry, sorry, sorry. So Phil, up until, I don't know, a month ago, didn't know how to read. But she knows the difference between pasteurized and unpasteurized milk. Why? I'm sorry. I believe that she spent quite a lot of time in a little place called the Milk Dimension, Michael. Maybe she picked up a thing or two. Took her to the Milk Dimension without picking up one or two things about pasteurization, you fucking idiot.

There's going to be like season 12 of The Dragon Friends where the Dragon Friends go to the Milk Dimension and have to murder Louis Pasteur. No spoilers for the Yilmus episodes. So, meanwhile, downstairs and downstairs again in the downstairs salon. Picture, if you will, a table with a very uncomfortable looking Baston, a wryly amused Silas, Lord of the Ebon Flame. And if you think Baston looked uncomfortable, a weeping, smiling through a rictus grin figure of Lion Shield banknote, his chin and lower lip stained red. You see, I'm one of you. I'm one of you. I drank your cursed blood and I loved every minute of it.

Yes, well... I'm not going to make you make a constitution check because that would be to stop doing this, which you're already doing so that's fine. Yes, well I can see you've just yummied that right up. Look, chum, from vampire

to vampire, I'm in a bit of a pickle and I've noticed that you're somewhat liquid with your cash. What say you help a fellow vampire out? I mean, I'm always happy to lord my wealth over people I meet. Yes, well... At this moment, there is a swishing of velvet robes

and the figure of Eleanor Grundle appears also at Silas's side. Could I just interrupt? And he's like, Eleanor, I feel I've given you quite enough of my time and money of late So why don't you leave us And she's Go get me another one of those famous drinks You don't mind getting a drink for an old friend do you

And she's obviously quite offended but she looks Swallows her displeasure and walks, leaving the three of you alone again. You see, it's the damnedest thing. I keep coming here, and Grundle keeps giving me these incredible tips. I've made so much money, and then tonight, wouldn't you believe it, everything is going to pot. So all I'm asking, I suppose, from one, as I say, vampire,

to another, is just a line of credit, perhaps. How much do you need? Around about 20,000 dragons. 20,000 dragons? Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Yes, and I can suck my own dick. I don't think that's going to happen. 20,000 dragons?

Yes, and I can suck my own dick. I don't think that's going to happen. Do you know I was sired by Strahd himself. Lots of people don't like to say that name, but I, for one, don't mind. He's sort of like a daddy to me, you see. Ah, Strahd, an old friend of ours how is the old fellow oh you know

or perhaps you don't what is your pedigree blue man me myself um I was sired by the one and only Nosferatu back in 4,000 years ago.

I've always, and if you need to know my allegiances, personally, I'm Team Edward. He pulls out, he looks at you, frowns, pulls out a very small black notebook, and he says, I'm not familiar with the name what generation would that make you nosferatu no you no as in from nosferatu one to one really i'm the generation below him so find out where he is i'm one beneath that oh okay well well what generation is he then i mean you'd probably have to ask him, to be honest.

Do you know what I think, Blue Man? Do you know what I think? I think you're one of those sad little pretenders dotted all around this cabaret. They wear black. They like to put powder on their skin. But they're no more vampire than your handsome friend here. Do you know what?

I think it's sad. We call them cosplayers, you see. That seems like a slur, to be honest. Calling me a cosplayer. Well, if you're a vampire, if you enjoy things such as vampires do, and you won't lend a fellow vampire some money, perhaps a wager? Or do you not simply have the blood for it? Okay, look, you want me to do something vampiric?

You want me to turn into a bat? You want me to suck my own dick? Is that what you want? No, I'd rather you didn't do any of those things. Do you want me to get... Do you want to go right now to a stall somewhere and watch me do the very famous vampiric thing of trying to suck my dick is that what you want to see mr silas huh i mean no i didn't think so so

walk away what's your game here hang just so i understand what are you trying to impress him i'm trying to get to fucking Grundle. I don't know who this guy is and I don't want to talk to him. He got in the way of me talking to Grundle. So I think Banknote's just like, I don't care. Are you at all able to divert your primary objective, having met a vampire that's sired by Strahd? I guess I'm asking, is this a banknote problem or a hing problem because i feel

like like a banknote's taking all this in but it's like what he needs to do now is find out if grundle's a fucking vampire because if grundle's a vampire then the whole game's up he's got to kill everybody here or something um where is did where did grundle go because baston was just listening to this so he would have kept his eye on grundle as she walked away from the table she's walked not very far away given a clipped instruction to justin plumber got irritated by whatever she said and is now standing with her hands folded watching this happen interestingly the two fighters on the stage who looked for a second like they were about to fight are sort of trapped there,

and they keep glancing back at Grundle, and she's sort of subtly shaking her head, you notice. So she's holding the whole room. Can I see her in a mirror anywhere? No, she's standing near her booth. Baston's just listening in on the conversation Okay look tell me your wager then What's the wager you want to put on this Well I'll tell you what

Grundle says Claudette's a sure thing But you know I don't think she's giving me Good information So what I'd like to do is wager with you Let's say 10,000 dragons, you on Claudette, and me on Punch-Up.

See, the problem with me taking a wager with you is you just came to me and asked to borrow 20,000 gold coins, which suggested to me that you've got fuck all money you dumb idiot so why would i take a bet with you when you couldn't possibly pay up this is gauche to say but do you know who i am and what i mean to this town it's almost like you're not loyal to the cause and as he says this he's pulling out he reaches very carefully into his coat and he pulls out a thin black case and he places it on the table in front of it him wrapping it quietly with his heavily ringed fingers uh i'll do a whatchamacallit check dave no i don't know what that means no no not an attack a um uh like a history check i guess what is the case like is it does it have like symbols on it or anything no it's a it's a pain

it's a plain black um sort of elegantly um lacquered case like it's probably a bond in it it has something long and narrow and thin, yeah. Oh, a chongus. And Silas looks at you and he says, you're quite right, of course. I'm not just skint, I'm in the hole. They won't take my chips anymore and they won't take anything else,

but you and me, we're gentlemen. I'm very happy for your wager to be money but i have something much more interesting here oh what what pray tell is that in this uh evil looking case let me ask you vampire have you ever heard the name petrina kalyana and at that moment, Bastogne, you go bolt upright. Because, of course, you do know that name. She is Strahd's, I want to say, girlfriend? Yes, he's somewhat fond of her. This is obviously before my time as an undead. But seems awfully fond.

He doesn't even know I have this. This is a dagger that belonged to her my family my real family i suppose uh had it at their estate and i just happened to find it and he takes a tiny key unlocks it and snaps it open to reveal a very um wicked looking sharp stiletto dagger with a small skull pommel with two rubies in its eyes. Now, look, I'll level with you here. I was going to offer it up to the Lord as a sort of present to get me further in his favour,

but as you see, I'm somewhat out of luck here and was about to pawn it. But rather than have it go to the establishment, what if we were to make a wager? Okay, and what is that wager? 10,000 gold dragons for this wicked-looking blade?

20,000 gold dragons. 20,000 gold dragons for a wicked-looking blade? No, it's not a... Is that best done? Yes. So is it just a sale now? It's not a wager looking blade no it's not is that Baston yes so is it just a sale now it's not a it's not a wager

no it's a you said it's a wager yeah it's against yeah you gotta get the value yeah yeah yeah so 20,000 and Baston is gonna take it

yeah we'll take that money that action that's what they say Baston what are you doing what are you doing which money which money

listen uh Silas I'm not one of you, but I'm interested in getting in the club. Say if someone like me wanted to, you know, suck on the old blood stick, how would I get into that, you know, racket? He doesn't even look at Bastogne. He's like, your cosplaying friend is being sad. This is not the kind of place we come for this talk.

I'm just keeping it together because I'm a ten right now. But let me assure you, sir, if I was anything less, things would get very unattractive. Silas places, snaps shut the case, takes his tiny key, locks it and slides it to the centre of the table as he puts the key back in his pocket and he waits for your valise banknote

to drop your money next to it. You'll need that in chips i imagine uh dave yes i'm planning something pretty crazy can you just check in on the other guys for a second i can well i think it's about time so meanwhile let's go upstairs where it's we've spent a little bit of time has elapsed as an impatient Bobby sits with his now finished milk next to Filge, a small plate of mostly eaten cookies and also just some grapes and apples and a little bit of cheese. Yeah, we do things nice in Switchmire. Yeah, I mean, you've really landed on your feet. I mean, I can really see a future.

What am I talking about? Sorry, I completely forgot you've really landed on your feet. I mean, I can really see a future. What am I talking about? Sorry, I completely forgot why I came up here. Look, all these documents have... Look at this. This is a list of names and, like, fluid measurements. So, look, it might be a stab in the dark, but... P competition? Either a P competition or...

Must be P competition. Or, remember all the vials that we were dealing with before? Just vampires? I think this is a blood thing. So, if those dudes haven't come back yet, there is a very good chance that they are being drained for their red goodies, as I like to call blood. What else do you like to call blood? I like to call blood red goodies. you like to call blood i like to call blood red

goodies i like to call it um you do this much longer i'm cutting away again liquid life i like to call it um uh scarlet juice i'd love to call it um the metallic uh the metallic phanta red dead libation okay i'm done those are all good names for blood. Okay, I agree. This is an extremely serious situation. You're busting out of the common room a second time? Yeah, we should try and track them down. Do you have any sense of where this big hoo-ha is tonight?

Do I? Daisy. Do you want me to go, you know, threaten someone and get them to tell me or use trickery? So the other girls are in the rooms, including Maisie and Lameria Throp, the junior prefects. They're all asleep at the moment. But you can go wake someone up. Okay, I'm going to... Who was the good one?

Maisie. Maisie. I'm going to sneak in and put a big paw over her mouth. Okay. 15-year-old. And drag her out of bed. So Phil just one second in an exaggerated pantomime, and then she tiptoes into the room with her huge, powerful,

orcish arms. She quickly grabs in one hand the head of Maisie Throp, a 15-year-old girl, muffling her and then delicately picks her up out of her bed and walks back into the common room. Her eyes bolt open and her cheeks bulging. Okay, now you've made it weird again. She deposits her carefully on a sofa and then very carefully removes her hand from her mouth. Okay, Maisieie first things first this is a joke

second thing first where are all the prefects tonight the important ones hang on let me just make a quick um okay awesome yeah yeah so um she completely fails her um charisma save so she's completely terrified of this and not sure and she failed us about actually because i rolled a one that she's not sure it's not a dream ben bobby says i know I don't look like your father, but you know that I'm your father. Yeah, kind of, too. Now, Daddy needs to know where the special event is tonight. Downstairs. Through the kitchens.

Downstairs. Downstairs, down the kitchens. Downstairs. Downstairs, down the kitchens. Through the kitchens, through the cellars, knock twice, the password's in Delicto. It's another one of the madam's events. Daddy is very proud of you. Now, don't open your mouth, or your teeth will turn into bees and fly out.

She bolts her mouth closed. Now, go back to bed. Also also do not live in your sister's shadow okay bye okay you leave her there um sitting too tired too scared to go back to sleep sitting on the sofa as you creep downstairs um knock knock knock in delicto and the door slides open to discover what was obviously a sort of anti-room bar um in fact you don't even need to give the password because as you knock the door swings open and you realize this little area um which is sort of a uh pre-bar is empty there's a curtain hanging to the side leading into the main room um let's peek through the curtain okay peeking peeking through the curtain, you see, as I said, a smoky room.

As your eyes adjust, you can see booths and tables. You see three things. One of them is this huge boxing ring standing in the center of the room with two leather armor clad women holding short knives. Still standing, paying attention to a woman that you assume from the portrait is Eleanor Grundle, who is standing looking impatiently to the side and in a table that you can't help but notice the figure of Lion Shield Banknote, Bastogne, and a third gentleman sitting having a conversation, which we will now cut to. Banknote, he's waiting for your money. Um, well, how am I supposed to know that this is the genuine article?

Might I see it in my hand, perhaps? Sure. The case is locked, but he's happy for you to handle the box. Okay. Okay, very subtly, Lion, Shield, Banknote. Very subtly, Banknote makes eyes at Bastogne. As in, it's like go time kind of thing. And as he picks up the case,

he's going to... Dave, I'm going to cast a spell. Just before you are, you are aware, and Banknote is aware, just so that you're clear. Vampires, some of the last true immortals, very powerful creatures creatures immune to many forms of damage hundreds and hundreds of years old so you can do this but i just want you to be aware of that because i i i just and i don't want you to take this personally but you accuse me of

fucking you on this show quite a lot i don't know if you realize that you're about to go to drink dave i would like to empower you with this information which banknote already knows now what is it that you want to do uh uh okay okay okay new plan new plan new plan Okay We got this, okay Okay Because you did just give eyes to Baston that it was on So he's He's under the impression that it's on It's a very small window before it's on now Okay, okay Banknote's gonna take off the iron ring

Yep That he's wearing And place it Or the iron ring that you don't know what it does the magic ring yeah and place it on the table and then say um i believe this would be an adequate wager against your dagger okay uh okay um he looks at it um turns it around three times and he goes

yes i suppose it would and he places it down on the table between you so now there's the dagger and the case best on what do do? Because you think it's on. I think he'd just be very tense. Be looking at everyone. Ready to go off. I think he's... Yeah, yeah. I think if anything goes down,

he's going to grab the dagger and try and stab Silas with it. Enough theatrics, my dear. I think you've made us all wait long enough. Let's all do what we all came here to see. The fight, please. And she looks tersely. A flash of irritation.

It has to be said at you, banknote, and you, Baston. And she waves her hand. And the two figures start to circle around each other. And for a moment, all eyes are on the stage, which means that no one is paying attention to you, Bobby, and Filch. Bob's going to... Bobby... Bob. Bobby's going to use... Trying out some new nicknames there?

Yeah, Bob. Yeah, just call me Bob. My friends do. It's cool. I just like... I'm chill. You know, I just live my life. I like dogs. Yeah.

Bobby uses Messenger. Yeah, Messenger. To message, to put a message into Eleanor Grundle's head so he can see her from where he is. And he's saying, Miss Grundle, you have been cordially invited to attend the court of the Beggar King for a powwow. Now, message doesn't cast back back so if she can't cast message

she can't reply but she turns around slowly and looks at you her face very blank and very cryptic and then she turns and looks at silas and then looks at the match again she's clocked you and um but she hasn't said anything okay Okay. Bobby just continues and said, we have information, certain promissory notes, records that maybe you wouldn't be so keen on slipping in to the hands of your clientele. So let's just say it's not just a request. It's an order. She looks incredibly irritated. And she, like, makes eyes at you.

You can't see what it says, but it seems to scream stop. But she also looks a bit scared, like you're getting under her skin. Okay. Hey, Bobby, you want me to create a distraction? Yes. Okay. The fight, as I said, while this is happening, the room is very quiet. You just hear every now and then the sound of the two combatants

as they lunge at each other with these very small fights. It seems like this is a fight waiting for first blood, and the two of them are very good, and they're dodging each other. In fact, they've got armor class, so let's do it, because this is going to be combat. So we'll do one round, and then you can make your diversion so claudette lunges this isn't this isn't rigged i'm i assumed that you'd rigged this dave really did you pleasantly surprised that you didn't rig this okay claudette lunges at um at punch up and

misses and punch up returns and they both miss and now now it's Filch. And also, can I say also, there's like a bunch of those kind of cosplayers around loudly being like, oh no, I wanted to see blood. Yeah. In the fake Transylvanian accent. You call that fighting with blood, which I love. And Filch just starts like, she like pulls open the curtains and starts making her own entrance music

she's like the fight stops instantly the two fighters turn and look and everybody is looking at you phil as you start walking in, humming your own intro music. It's the fear of Waterdeep. It's the toughest girl in school. It's Phil. Who will challenge me? And then she picks up a chair and she smashes it.

Wow. Okay, great. And then she does a cool somersault to enter the ring. You're just getting into the ring? Yeah, it's like she's getting in. That feels like an unnecessary acrobatics check, Dave. I'm lucky, I'm amazing. You can make an athletics check because I think that's more Filch's style.

So DC DC 14. 20. All right. Coming in glow style, you make your way up onto the match as Silas looks and goes, well, this is interesting, isn't it? And with that, Silas turns to look at Eleanor Grandel. Excuse me, my dear. Slight change of tonight's entertainment. I'm sure you wouldn't mind humoring a friend as old and a patron

who has provided your school as much money as me. Change of fight. Those two against the new champion. Unarmed, they keep their knives. What do you say? For an old friend. Well, of course, darling. But your debt still stands, obviously.

So I hope you've made a good wager. Attentive to money as always. Yes, my dear old friend, Eleanor, I'm working on that. If you would please. She nods curtly and the two figures. And again, so Filch, to be clear, because you are back in your pajamas now that you've been back in the common room. The two figures in leather armor that must be Claudette and Punch-Up. back in the common room.

The two figures in leather armor that must be Claudette and Punch-Up, one half-troll, one a small brown-haired girl with a wickedly curved knife, raise their blades into fighter stances as they turn to face you and a bell rings. Woo!

Go Filch! Not really the energy of the room. Everybody else is quietly watching the blood sport, but you do see Bastard. Hey, Bastard, look at me. Silas looks at the two of you. You know her? No, I just...

She's your daughter. Yes. Sorry, did you just say that she's your daughter? Yes, I can't explain the complex, and nor do I have to explain the complex family structure. Grundon, what's going on here? This is enough of this, and he takes and he reaches forward, and he grabs with one hand his dagger,

and with the other hand he puts his hand and he grabs, scoops up your valleys of money. Surely I get a reaction against that. You do, yeah, yeah, yeah. Surely I get a reaction against that. You absolutely get a reaction as he starts to scoop it up. He says, this is ridiculous. I know when I'm being conned. I know when I'm being taken for a

sap. I'm leaving and my debt is off. Is this a sleight of hand, Dave, I guess? Or dexterity? No, you get a reaction. A bonus action. I'm going to try and swipe. I'm going to swipe the things. He's swiping. Damn it. I'm going to swipe

the knife. We're doing a double swipe. A post-texterity check. While he's swiping us, we're swiping him Damn it. I'm going to swipe the knife. We're doing a double swipe. A post-dexterity check. While he's swiping us, we're swiping him. Everybody. Okay. 17. And then Ben, do you want to roll? He's plus four on his dexterity. 16.

That is a hot five. Just to really rub it in Dave I'm going to use Flash of Genius to give me a plus 3 to my roll So I've got a 20 there And I've got 16 Easily you swipe up the box

And you swipe up the dagger As he howls in rage And he goes Electo! Danton! To me! And at that point he reaches his hands Which turn into claws And he slashes at baston in the face as fast as he can as his figure grows monstrous um and he charges in and he attacks

you can grundle try and placate everything yeah i think she's yeah she will on her turn uh but he attacks you baston and he rolls a 18 and a 25. Yeah, I guess that's it. There's some hits. Okay. 2d8 plus 5. Sorry, plus 10. And you take 19 points of damage. One nine?

Sorry? 19? 19 points of damage, yeah. But he doesn't bite you. That's just with hit and attack. And it's Grundle's turn. Please, everybody, you must stay calm. This is just a misunderstanding.

Please. And as she says that, two larger of the figures that had no reflections that were sitting at other tables stand up, and one of them pushes her, and she sort of screams in surprise as she's manhandled and thrown into a booth across the room, and there are screams now from some of the students as they race towards you. They have claws too as well. Wait, the students one wait the students have no no these two other figures

electo and danton and the students do or don't have claws screaming and surprised without claws the students aren't everyone everyone that is a human in the room is suddenly looking terrified as these three vampires are cutting loose or at least that's what it seems to be. And one of them has just picked up Miss Grundle and thrown her across the room. And she's landed heavily on the table in a booth on the other side as they charge into the fight. Now, the next one up is Bobby. Bobby's going to rush in with his Moontouch sword

and go for Silas. Okay, great. So you attack Silas, make an attack for me, armor class 16. That is... Sorry. 18. 18 hits. The magical damage definitely lands. So how much damage?

That's 7. 7 points of damage. Definite Lance. So how much damage? That's seven. Seven points of damage. As he screams in surprise and turns at you. And the next one up is Phil, standing on the ring. I'm just going to duck away as well. Oh, yeah? We're going to do a dash away. And as he turns to you, by the way, he's like,

weren't you the man who did that wonderful blim-blom thing before? Wait, he was at the show? I am a man of the arts. Okay, Bilge, you're up. I'm going to, I think, stand up on the ropes of the ring and use that to jump off that and try and tackle Silas to the ground. Okay, great. Make a charge for me, a strength attack.

You can have advantage because you're propelling yourself off the ring. Oh, I'm angry. What are you angry about? Oh, I'm angry that I didn't get to do my cool moves He's like stolen the show from me Alright Yeah, when Filch offers up a distraction It's because she wants attention

It's not to force the narrative forward Come on Okay, so that was 15 Alright, here's 17 He has huge strength enemies He grabs you in mid-throw And throws Filch across the room, and you smash into another booth,

and you take 14 hit points of damage. Oh, dear. Boixie, Boixie. Bastogne, you're up. I'm going to draw my magic swords. It's time for some slashing, Dave. What's Silas's armor class? 16.

Electo and Danton will be on you guys in a second as well. Okay. All right, here we go. So I got three attacks. Mm-hmm. Yes. you guys in a second as well. Okay. All right. Here we go. So I got three attacks. Yes. 16 is his armor class? Yep. Okay.

Two hits. Three hits. You suck a boy. And I'm like, you're not even. I don't like you at all. You're vamping. What's your damage? Four plus seven is 13. And is it is it no that's not right at all it's 11 and 8 plus 10 is 18 29 damage all right he doesn't look that hurt and

you can see already that the lines in his face are starting to heal even as he is pushed back by the onslaught of Bastogne. Banknote, you're next. Okay, Banknote is going to make a run for Grundle. Okay, great. And I guess as I'm moving, I'm going to cast... Now, he hasn't used his reaction yet, by the way. So as you run past, he slashes at you for 20 and hits you, I imagine imagine for only 10 points of damage

okay okay um and now remember she's next to electo the one that's just pushed past oh no she's at the booth yeah so she's by herself they threw into the booth so freeze uh banknote's gonna run towards her and as he does that he's going to cast Longstrider on himself. Okay, great. You run up to her and you start to try to help her to her feet. Yeah, I'm like, Gwendo, Gwendo, Gwendo, quick, quick, come with me. And he's going to pick her up and just fucking hightail it out of there.

Okay, you only can get up to her. And she's resisting being pulled out of the room. As you're standing by her side. And the next up is Silas, who now attacks Bobby. And while he's attacking, he's going like, Brandel, you're finished. You're finished with everybody. This was meant to be a safe harbor.

17. And he does 32 hit points of damage for you, Bobby. I'm going to do an Uncanny Dodge. Yeah, okay. Fair enough. Smart. He rakes and rakes and rakes and bites at you. And you also lose,

eight of those is your maximum hit points that you lose, which you can halve to four. As he drains blood out of you, and as he does, the lines in his cheek are starting to close. And the next one up is grundle okay so grundle does a couple of things she's close to banknote yeah banknote still has sort of his armor on her waist so she does she she starts the thing that she was doing before where she was like everybody please come it's a big misunderstanding. And then when she realises that's not getting through,

she, like, just stops. Her demeanour changes. And she mutters to herself, Oh, for fuck's sake. And then just says, Girls, light them up! And as she says that, one of the prefects who's standing by the door

pulls on a rope cord as the huge curtains behind the mirror fall to the ground, revealing more mirrors with some kind of crystals, it seems, behind them that power up, similar to your sword, with what looks like radiant sunlight as they are angled down at the tables and booths around the room, crisscrossing as these lines of light hit all of the seating around the room. Where they hit the vampires, they scream in pain and surprise as they're slowed down by the sunlight trying to get away.

Yes. And at that exact moment, Greg's like, Oh, no, also me. I'm burning. Oh, this sunlight is hurting my vampire skin interesting interesting gambit and a crucial one because at that moment the doors to the bar burst open and three more of the prefects each of them with what looks like modified heavy crossbows quite cartoonishly large on these small girls frames walk out quickly at the to the dragons uh to the dragons to the

vampires and level them um all of them with a magazine of sharpened stakes um built built into them as silas spins around frozen in the light and turns with a look of absolute loathing at eleanor grundle you does he say anything bad like ah fuck yes well i suppose if those would be your last words they can't all be winners can they silas let them go mercy and at that point all three girls fire as bolt after bolt of stakes pierce into the chests of the vampires and they're driven to the ground whoa and like as that as they as they fall she turns to the ground. Whoa. And as they fall, she turns to the dragon friends and just says to them with venom dripping from her voice,

Darlings, you fucking idiots. Oh. Oh. And Filch puts up her hand she's like how many points for switch maya and as points are not given out it seems that the grundle school may be coming to an end whatever operation whatever outfit whatever underground mischief um eleanor grundle was here was up to today with vampires. It seems that its business has run its course for with three dead bodies, deader even than the deaths that they once died

themselves because undeath is hard and circuitous and you get where I'm going with this. It seems that she will have very little recourse to continue her operation. And so as the sun begins to rise, continue her operation and so as the sun begins to rise figures make their way out of the grundle school in exodus of a place that once was a cell was salvation for so many wayward orphans but now must be forced to close its doors and whatever lurked underneath in the downstairs cell and consigned to the rumors and history of a city of splendors and secrets such is the stories of the byways and alleys and towns and properties known only as Waterdeep in this Sword Coast, in these Forgotten Realms,

in this known world that contains an adventuring party known as the Dragon Friends. Thank you! Yay! Good work. The Dragon Friends are Alex Lee, Michael Hing, Eden Lacey and me, Simon Greiner.

And we're DM'd by Dave Harmon and Ben Jenkins. Dragon Friends is recorded in our homes in this age of isolation. Shakira Khan produces and designs our website. The podcast is mixed and mastered by Hugh Guest with music this episode by Tom Cardy. Bye. cool alright Tom do you just want to clap with me on zero you on zero and then maybe bang your keys at the same time if it's the same file Dragon Friends But how's he going to clap and play the piano? I'll say clap. Hang on.

On zero. Ready? Three, two, one. Bang! Cool. So weird. Did that sync for you guys or no? No.

Not at all. Of course not.