Dragon Friends - #8.19. Me Basing this on Context

Episode Date: December 18, 2022

The Dragon Friends are at the end of the line. Minutes remain before they perish to the crossing between worlds, and a formidable foe stands between them and home If they have a dastardly scheme, they had better employ it quickly. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

And Dave has logged himself out of the story. No, I haven't, I haven't. Dave's forgotten his password again. It's all fine. It's Evangelion69. Threes instead of E's. Don't worry, don't worry, yeah, cause that's what time travels for. You can always go back and try again. And if you go back and kill your friends, you can always go back. And extra few seconds, you can always go back.

Six simple minutes. All the time it takes for the Iron Engine, that infernal train of hell, to make the journey from Dis to the Forgotten Realms, those lands of magic and adventure that once played host to the saga of three heroes that we call the Dragon Friends. Three minutes have already elapsed since the train left the station,

and it is picking up speed. Any second now, it will pierce the border liminal, that space between worlds, and render the Dragon Friends unconscious, which would be tactically inadvisable, since you are currently fighting for your lives. Your enemy stands before you, the engine mistress of Dis. Proud, fiery, a marvel of unholy engineering. And Logan the Huge, your total druid ally who has fallen under her spell. The dragon friends stand arrayed.

Proud. Bobby Pancakes. Halfling Rogue. Tall and majestic. Filch. Half-orc barbarian. Slightly weird. Business associate.

Possibly human. Warlock. Michael Hing, a.k.a. Friso. Huh? I was lining up my dice day. And the battle commences as Logan with a fire-awake glassy look at his eyes lurches towards you. Logan, you have the first action. Oh, how close am I to these dum-dums?

There is so little space here in the engine cabin. Most of it dominated by a giant furnace. You're about five feet away. Okay, well I'm going to do a big slap with my sky-blinded staff. Who are you attacking? You, Michael Hing. Oh, damn it! Make an do a big slap with my sky blinder staff. Who are you attacking? You, Michael Hing. Oh, damn it! Make an attack for me, please. That's a 15.

20 plus 6. Oh, that'll hit. 21 will hit. Damage? Yeah. I'm talking a hot 5. Alright, so Logan lurches towards you, a far away look in his eyes, and smashes you in the side of your head with his powerful totemic staff. You take 5 points of damage. You have a chance to react because you're up next.

Ooh, well, I'll attack you. Oh, you fucking loser. This is quite a bit of drama we've got going on the first few hits. What's your armour class? The essence of drama. I'm a big turtle, so probably... What's your armour class? Is he allowed to ask that before?

I don't like being against my team. I don't like him asking that, no. It also strongly suggests to me that he has some dice that he can control. That's not a regulation dice. What is that? That's the one we got from D&D. All right, all right. This is the special sparkly one.

I bought it because it's the end of the season. I'm so suspicious if you're bringing in a special dice. No, this is from our special trip to America. You're not allowed to use it. Simon gets to use the dice. There you go. Do you bring loaded D&D dice? Yes.

19 is my... 19. All right, I will attack you with my strongest thing, which is an Eldritch Blast. That's a 16 plus 9. That's going to hit. 24. So that's 20.

I get to play another character soon. That is 20 damage. What? It's two 10s. Look at that. It's all right. I'm a giant turtle. That's a 10 and a one.

That's a zero. What are you doing there? Oh, no, it is. I'm sorry. Yeah, that is. Well, well, well, Dave. You say 20? Looks like I've loaded all the dice.

Yeah. That is 20 damage. To do anything less would be sloppy. Okay, Friezo attacks you with a huge blast. That is going to be enough to trigger for you one more wisdom save if you can try to beat the Engine Mystic's Thrall spell. I want you to know that if you break out of this spell, you have me to thank.

Oh, I don't know about that. What do I got to get? You need to beat a DC spell. 21. 21, all right. Your eyes snap and you're back. Logan is back with us. It's the most beautiful 10 seconds of my life.

Take me back. I want to go back. Please, please. I will say you probably lost the most efficient amount of hit points in that time possible, but you are back and it's the engine mistress' go. Okay, she's going to use fire ray. Oh, great. All right.

Yeah, I guess. Hold on a second. Fire ray range spell attack. One target. Okay. That's right. So you're guess. Hold on a second. Fire Ray range spell attack. One target. Okay. Wow. That's right. So you're going to need to make a spell attack for me right now.

Who are you going to attack? Um, I don't know. Is there anyone who feels like they stick out to me? Well, you just saw. Oh, that's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you were hurting. Oh, come on.

You were hurting my boy. Oh, come on. Um, all right. Well, yes, I'm going to aim for it. You're going to cast it, right? So the Enchanted Mistress comes forward. Her eyes flicker with fire in her beautiful Victorian high-back dress. The mechanical cogs and beautiful unholy mechanics of her face realign themselves

and a bolt of fire bursts towards you, Frieza. Make a spell attack for me. In here. Hold on. It's a four. It's a four. That's a four. Plus, where is my spell?

A four. It's only going to be plus six, so that's a ten. Okay. Well, it looks like it fucking fizzles like an idiot.

You're taunting her. You're taunting the engine mistress of Dis. Well, she was trying to kill me, though. You feel pretty good that she missed? Of course.

Okay, you're multi-tacked. Don't forget, so you have two more attacks. I'm going to go again. You're more attacks. I'm going to go again. I'm going to use fire. You're a dog. Come on, fire. You can roll them both at the same time.

12 plus 6. That's 18. We'll hit one more. Again. She has three attacks. She has three attacks. That's right. She's a high-ranking cambion of the second circle of hell.

The other one is 13. 13. That's your own dice, too. Dammit! One of them hits, Hing, and you take another nine points of damage. What do you want? Nine damage? That's too many.

You got me for 20, like, ten seconds ago. Oh, shut up. Phil, you're currently raging, is that correct? Yes, of course. What are you angry about? Do you remember? No. Well, pick something new.

Oh, I'm angry at the fact that that train is attacking us and I'm angry about our impending death. That's fair enough. Death is impending, remember, because as I said, it was only three minutes. It's about two

and a half minutes now until you all pass out unconscious and then she can basically do what she will with you. And what form is the mistress in? She's currently in her mistress configuration, not her engine configuration. Cool. So like a high-backed Victorian dress, powerful, imperious, robotic-looking woman.

All right, I'm going to chop off her legs. Can't chop off legs when she's a train, Dave. All right. With my thunder's weight. So you're going to use a hammer to chop off her legs. Can't chop off legs when she's a train, Dave. With my thunder's weight. So you're going to use a hammer to chop off her legs. Well, you know, when you've got a hammer, everything's a nail. Okay, so that one will succeed.

It's goody goody. And that is a 14 points 14 points of damage To her legs She stumbles backwards and bumps up against the furnace The door swinging open And as fire seems to lick out

From the wounds inside her dress The cracks that are beginning to appear So too does fire sympathetically Burst out from the engine, some of it bursting onto the control panel of the train, and there is a sickening lurch as the train picks up speed, accelerating. It seems that something is going truly wrong, but Bobby Pancakes, you're up next. Okay, quick question, can I do magic when I'm a werewolf?

Yes, no, no, you'll have to turn back. Oh, you know what, actually you can, because you can... Yes, of course you can. Okay, I'm going to cast Dissonant Whispers on Montaigne, which is she has to do a wisdom saving throw and if she fails, she gets 3d6 psychic damage.

Okay, roll a 12 or higher for me, Montaigne. Oh, no. So what does it do exactly? I roll the 18. An 18. Secret whispers from Bobby's time

with the wolf and seem to have no effect on this powerful demon of hell Wait, what did he whisper? Stop it Impossible to understand why it had no effect And yet it doesn't But Logan, you are up now

And you are again a free agent Does absorb element do anything to the fire leaking out of her leg? When you get attacked by fire You can spit it back out if you want. So you want to cast that? You've recently been attacked by an Eldritch Blast, so you can probably fire that out at someone who isn't me, ideally. Yeah.

But you haven't cast it yet. I didn't cast it before. The train mistress isn't really slapping us with fire, though, is she? Yeah, I just fire her two times. Quite a lot of fire. Sorry, I just got a cool app that tells me all the dice and stuff, so I've been investigating it. Yeah, okay, I'll cast that on myself, please, Dave.

All right, you're going to cast Absorb Elements of Yourself. That's your action. Do you want to use your movement? Yeah, I run around. Okay, Logan starts running around as you walk. And I say, hey, hey, I'm free. Org, come get some of you big silly metal. It is actually probably important to very, very clearly

signpost that you are no longer a mortal enemy of Friso. I think that that's probably fair. So you just start running around. Who's not? Oh, yes. I do. I start spinning on my shell going, come hit me, you stupid metal. Very curious to see actually who Friso is going to attack next, because of course you are up.

Well, who? What are my options? It's just mistress, right? Yes, that is your enemy. I mean, I could attack.iso's going to attack next because of course you are up. Well, who? What are my options? It's just mistress, right? Well, yes, that is your enemy. I mean, I could attack. Do you want to attack, Tom? No, I don't. But I'm just...

What would Friso do? The objective is to survive the train. Why do I always feel when your voice goes like that that you're walking into your memory palace? Well, Dave, that's how I my memory palace is filled with my objectives. Now I will I have a thing called the scroll of the Tarrasque

right? Yep. Which I got several seasons ago in the Twitch stream and I've forgotten about. But apparently if I use it it sort of drops a big demon into this place. You were's a thousand years ago in the time of the netheril that there was a spell that summoned yes a greater demon a sort of cryptid what do you call it um Godzilla Godzilla is probably fair a kite kaiju a kaiju you

were told that it was a terrible spell the stuff of nightmares you were begged never to use it to return it to its rightful inventor and owner, but you have held onto it now for two- He was getting round to it. For two years, and if you want to read those sacred words, you can summon the Tarrasque inside, and I cannot stress this enough, the cramped engine quarters of a moving train.

And we're in this whole mess because of the demon that you released last time. Don't listen to anyone. This is up to you. What does Friso do? Do you have much plot to go in the rest of the finale, Dave?

Like, what's your vibe? We could call it early. As the fight rages all around him, as Logan spins with fury as the engine mistress fires bolts of fire backwards and forwards, scrambling inside a pouch, an old, tattered scroll is withdrawn by Friso, who, as the train lurches forward, struggles to read all Borossian runes,

making an intelligence check for me. Oh, that's an 18 plus intelligence, so that's 20. And all of you get the sense that something is very wrong as a single point of blackness, blacker than the night, blacker than nothing, blacker than antimatter, bursts open from the centre of the furnace and inside that blackness as it grows,

you would swear to yourselves that you would see from immeasurable distance an old and ancient eye looking back at you all of you suddenly feel a great sense of dread but none of you more so than the immortal being that you are fighting one who did not truly believe that anything could test her, as she recognises that for the first time in 6,000 years, she is in mortal and permanent peril. What do you want to do with your action? Oh, um... Run around.

I'm going to desperately shoot an arrow from my Hellfire Oathbow at the eye. All right, you're going to use your main weapon which you haven't had a chance to use yet. Make an attack. Three attacks, in fact. You can lose three arrows. Well, that's a one. That's a thirteen. And that's

a six. Unfortunately, the one means that as you spin around panicking, your hand, there's a clatter of metal and a sliver of sheath opens up inside your wrist and out emerges a beautiful old iron crossbow and you aim it but your hands are shaking now as suddenly you feel and you realize that you are in terror and it clatters to the ground and falls at the feet of the dragon friends as you back away back away and then suddenly there is a snaking

tendril as a spiked as this circle circle which is growing and growing and growing, a tendril shoots out of it, wraps itself around the midsection of the engine mistress of Dis, high cambion of the circle of the Iron City. And just before you are pulled into that circle, you look at Friso and you have a chance if you want to say one line. I'm just going to say exactly what Ben's just whispered in my ear. Something real cool.

Something real pithy that you'll be remembered for for ages. Fuck a sucker, ding dong! And there is a rift between worlds as the engine, the iron engine is derailed by a colossal force beating an immovable object, an unstoppable power that pulls the Engine of Mistress of Dis into a world where you do not know, through a rift in time and space, broken by a spell that should never have been made, written an age ago by a wizard who should never have been a wizard,

by a wildling mage. And as she falls away and disappears and makes some noise for Montaigne, whose character, unfortunately, is already at an end today because the Ancient of Isteris has been defeated. Thank you! Thank you! And in her place is a much greater peril. Half of the cavern is already now destroyed as more tendrils begin.

Is it coming out? Yes, it's coming out now. The Tarrasque, the scroll of summoning a Tarrasque has summoned a Tarrasque and it is slowly pulling its way out of the, it's the abyssal space in which it was into

the world that you occupy. How much time has passed? How close are we to the wall between worlds? You are about 90 seconds away. Okay. I'm going to just hedge up. I'm going to grab everyone in my big, long, well-off arms. I've got the medallion of the engine mistress. Yep, the bronze thing.

You have the iron sign. That's right. The cheese baron. So I'm going to just hold them in. Everybody touch this amulet, and let's see if we can ride this out, baby. So your plan is a hug. Oh, that's good.

And when, Ben, has that ever failed? I've got a question. This could help. When I withdraw into my shell defense, can I take everyone with me? Oh, how ruby that shell. You want to hug everyone into your shell. We have established that he is as wide as the doors to a Westfield.

I think... But how much of that is filled with turtles? I was going to say, it's not a magical space. I think you can draw them into your... Wait, Tom,

do you think that when turtles go into their shells it's like a genie going into a bottle? Yeah, there's an armchair, there's a little fireplace. Yeah, it's like the Weasleys when they go to the tournament

of the Quidditch World Cup. I reckon you can get Bobby in under your shell, and I reckon if you do... I'm a werewolf. When Bobby's in his halfling form, but I reckon if you do, Bobby would have a terrible time. I don't know. Weekend away. What do you think? Question.

Are we bringing Hing's new friend? Sorry. Are we bringing Friso's new friend? Are you hugging the Tarrasque as well? No, obviously not. All right. So you're... Pointedly leaving the Tarrasque out of this hug.

Dave, I haven't read the scroll, but do I control... It's too late for that! But do I control the Tarrasque? No! So it's not like summon greater demon? No, what you've done is you have summoned an unthinkable horror into hell, to be fair. You've travelled

a thousand years to try and undo the risks and danger that you have put your timeline in and you have brought a super weapon back with you and you have activated it the moment that you got back to your own time. So we could beat a train. You have created a monster that you can't control. If only there was some precedent

for this in literature or... But at this moment, Bobby takes all of the dragon friends as the train begins to whine and whine. It lurches, continuing to accelerate at all times. The black hole of antimatter, the knot in reality, cracks and opens again and half of the train is sucked into it as the engine cabin that you're in rips apart

with the tortured rip of steel breaking apart as the dragon friends can see now in front of them what seems like a railway leading off into a cosmic, chromatic horizon of strange and terrible eldritch beauty. The train rails just glistening off into the distance. Bobby takes Filge's hand in one claw. He takes Friso's in the other.

And then Logan... And lowers his head gently into the top of Logan's shell. That's right. As the dragon friends do this they feel the brass pass around Bobby's neck begin to glow and a bubble envelops all of you as the rest of the train is

ripped away. Out of that void appears a giant bony beast. one that you will see in your nightmares for the rest of your lives. All spikes and tendons and carapace and tentacles and pain and wisdom and terror. And it is

looking straight at you, Frieza, with an ancient wisdom of one who will remember you, an immortal being who will hunt you down for the rest of your time. Join the queue. But as they say in the Dragon Friends, not technically your problem because the Brass Pass activates and it sends you back out of hell, back to the Forgotten Realms. The train disappears.

The world turns to white. And the Dragon Friends, it seems, at last, are home. And we can't... Like, the portal to hell is closed? It's closed behind you. The brass pass has... The moment you pierced the border liminal, the old magic of the chronomancer is activated

and it sent you back to where you were meant to be. Does that mean there's now a Godzilla in hell? Yes. Yeah, and Ben Jenkins is there. Oh, nuts! It's the last thing Ben Jenkins needs. I would say, remember that hell is not a place that is unreachable. It is not unable to reach you.

For now, this is not a problem. There may be, in the future, consequences. All he heard was not a problem. Yeah, it's not a problem. No harm, no foul. Not like any of the dragon friends are going to go to hell. The things they've done. Dave, I think now that that's happened, No harm, no foul. Not like any of the dragon friends are going to go to hell. The things they've done.

Dave, I think now that that's happened, because you probably had a lot to get through, and actually me summoning that monster is probably quite a quick way to tie that up. Literally, it was on rails. The story was on literal rails. But I think you could say thank you if you'd like to. Because that would have... For us to kill...

Because obviously Montaigne's character, very powerful, would have gone on for... That could have been the whole first half, but you don't give me time to get through the rest of your bloody story. I just need to just... There's not many times when I am actually affronted, but you want me... You want me to thank you for playing Dungeons & Dragons

in a way that you think is helping me. We're on the same side here, Dave. We were both... Dave, just say thank you, please. Heng, thanking. Thank you. Thank you, Dave. For what this is going to allow me to do. I really mean that.

Thank you. All right, well, that's good. Yeah. You're welcome. I mean, if you just saw that written on a page without any of the menacing tone, it'd be fine. Written in blood. Yeah.

But for now, the dragon friends, it seems, are back. And as your eyes swim into focus, you realise that although the air seems strangely familiar and there is a tangy salt hanging suspended in it that is reminiscent of the water of Deepwater Harbour. What? Piss. What?

Your piss shouldn't be salty. All right. Well, fuck me, I guess. A tang that reminds you of Deepwater Harbour, suggesting that you are back in the city that is your home. There is no sky above your head. There is no distant vista that you can see. Wait, there's no sky above our head?

Because you are inside... Oh, thank goodness. A small storeroom. head, there is no distant vista that you can see. Wait, there's no sky above our head? Because you are inside a small storeroom. There are stone... Dave freaks out every morning thinking the sky's gone and Shaq has to tell him that they're indoors. That's why they have glow-in-the-dark star stickers on their ceiling.

Simple stone flag stones, wooden, old wooden beams, old wooden doors. You're in what seems to be a storeroom. There are boxes lining a wall. There's a straw on the ground. The door is closed and you seem for now to be alone. Logan, you wake up with a start

because everything about the world seems very wrong. Oh, what is this? Where are we? What's going on? Have you ever been inside before, Logan? No, I've been in a tent before, but this is much different. This is not... No, no. Logan, get it! You've time travelled.

This is the first time that you've travelled for... Through time. Yeah, through time. I really hate to be a stickler on this, but he hasn't time travelled. He's moved forward in time. That's time travelling. I'm doing it right now, Dave.

He travelled 300 years in an instant. Okay, fair enough. You think that that... Fair enough. I think that's time travel. You've time travelled. I'm glad that we're all right, but what do you call this?

I'm just... He's got his hand on the door and he's kind of opening it closed. It's like a mouth. Have we been eaten? Oh my God, we've been eaten! Quick! And I get my staff out and start smashing the door. Logan, Logan, Logan!

And I hold his shoulders and I say, This not mouth. This door. This ceiling. These walls. These walls. He's been inside. No, no, no. It's canon Ben. He's only been in tents.

And here in the future, there are doors everywhere. You better watch yourself around these doors. Some open in. Some out. Some slide. Some flap. If in doubt, just knock. I don't know if I'm ready for this, but maybe with my friends,

I can walk through doors. I fucking hate this. We link arms and walk through the door. Is the door open? Yeah, the door is closed. I think I said that. So what do you want to do? The room is yours.

You really think we're back home in our own time? Our own land? Well, if we go outside, can we look at the stars, Dave? Yeah, of course. We'll find some sort of boy and ask them what day it is. You there, what day is it? He's just shouting that out loud, see if he can hear. Yeah, yell at a boy.

No boys in the room. No boys in the room. In the distance you hear, Can you do it again? You there, what day is it? So far away, but these boys are trained to hear that And he's like Why sir, it's High Harbour Steve And then he gets run over

Why sir, it's 1492 High Harbour Steve They have trucks in this world. No, it was like a horse and carriage, but it just messed him up. And the horse was going... Is there a grumpy horse? It was a grumpy horse. Wait, what did that kid say before he got hit by a horse?

Not repeating it. No, so 1492, which is the year... That's the regular year? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, what about these... Is that the year that is... That's the regular year? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, what about these... Is that the year before we left? You've probably lost a bit of sense of time. It's pretty close.

A bit of sense of time. It's pretty close. You did get warned by Marceline Val, the chronomancer that sent you here, that you would not get back exactly in the same place or the same time. And to be fair, you left in Icewind Dale in, I think, 1497 or something. It's 1492 and it seems like you're in Waterdeep.

My mum decided to come tonight for some reason. And all of this is making her regret every decision made. Possibly even having me. Yeah, so roughly the same place, roughly the same time. Well, should we go and check out the castle? See what's going on over there. What castle? Oh, if it's still there and it hasn't been dropped into hell,

then we'll know that it's... No, because that has been dropped into hell. So we need to go... What else is in this world, Dave? Let's just leave the room. Let's leave the room, Dave. No, no, wait. Logan, you've got to do it.

We're all here for you, buddy. And we all massage his shoulders while he opens the door. I take sort of three tries, but then I kind of weasel back out, and then I finally just take one step through, and I stand there for about five minutes. And then I take the other step, and there's a tear in my eye. And with a great proud summoning, true reserves of courage and self-pride

and even, dare I say it, love, Logan opens the door. Guys, the future's so much more beautiful than I thought it was ever going to be. A turkey for every pot. It's a regular-sized door, right? It's a normal door. Because he's the size of a Westfield door.

He's going to find it very difficult to get out of the door for two reasons. One reason is that it's a quite small, human-sized door. It's not Westfield numbers. And that makes it hard to walk through it. But the other thing is that as he opens it, this big, teary face of a, let's be honest, total druid who is having something of a personal moment. He stares into the confused face of a young man

in dark black robes holding a pile of dark, what looks like dark black robes as he walked, as he was about to indeed open the door, and it was opened in his face. He opened the door? He was about to open the door. Oh, right, yeah. And he's like, oh, sorry, I didn't see you there.

That's okay, you have to wait your turn. I'm doing the door first. Oh, no, I got a lot to do. So you guys good for robes, by the way? You guys good for robes? Giving them way? You guys good for robes? Giving them out for free? Well, I mean... That seems to confuse him.

Giving them... I mean, it's High Harvest. You're meant to be here, so you need a robe. Yeah, yeah, we'll take robes. Sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute, where are your robes? We put them in the wash. What?

I'm sorry. You've known about High Harvest Eve for months and you decide to wash your robes now? We've had an accident, okay? I don't want to talk about it. Oh. All of you? We all ate some bad clams. Bad clams. Bad clams. Bad clams. Bad clams.

You're trying to convince him that you... Spell it out for me, please. We shat our robes. I thought, no, he spilled some clams on our robes. What were you saying? And they were bad clams. Make for me a deception check. DC 12. That's a 20.

That's a 20. That sucks. Is he so convincing that he shits himself again? Well, guys, the meeting's starting in, oh gosh, how long? Five minutes? Ten minutes? Any minute now. Anybody minute now.

And if you're not there... And he starts throwing robes at all of you. Oh, I don't know if I've got... I've got an ultra big one for the huskier gentleman. Throws it to you. All right, well, best of luck. And I won't tell anybody, but you better chop, chop. And he goes to leave. Oh, by the way, and I won't tell anybody but you better chop chop. And he goes to leave. Oh, by the way, did you see a kid

died outside? And just as he's about to leave, he suddenly turns as if he's remembered something. As you're all scurrying into your robes, he turns and looks back at you. Oh, shit. Sorry, guys. Password?

Yeah. Youword. Yeah. You asked this before. No, no, no, no. I did the password. Solstice. Excuse me? That's what's happening right now. That's the solstice.

You want the solstice password? Or do you want the secret password? Actually, hang on, I don't know. Are you... Wait, what level are you? What level are you? Oh, well, I mean, look. Yes, I am doing robes right now.

Yeah. But that's actually just because Tim got sick. Well, Matt, you... Don't tell anyone we told you that word, okay? Because that's for the VIP party after the High Harvest thing happens, okay? So you can't... If people will see someone of your rank in the VIP party, they'll know

we told you solstice. Make for me a deception check. That's a nine. That's a nine. I don't know anything about a VIP party but I need the password for the meeting. Yeah. One password. I need the password.

The password to get in. To get into the house. Does he look armored? No, not at all. He's a young guy. Let's just... There's life ahead of him. I want to make a fresh start.

This is a fresh start, you know? New timeline, new us. No, but if we kill him now, it can't affect us because it's the present. You know before... No, what? That's not how it works. Before, before we're in the past, right? No, but it affects us now.

No, no, no, but it can't have big effects because it's just now. But we don't know where we are. And except for later. But that's not your later. What are you talking about? Hing, Hing, when you are in the present, actions still have consequences. But not the same. We've done all this and you've learnt nothing.

But not the same as when you were in the past. When you were in the past, oh, I went to the Teppanyaki restaurant and now no-one has to eat dicks or something, you know? Guys, listen, Dav and Tyrell's going to bloody hit the roof. I need the password right now. I'm going to... I'm going to, I'm going to lock you. Oh, oh, oh, oh. The password is peppercorn.

That's from several seasons ago, you fucking idiot. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I doubted you. That's right. The password is peppercorn. Yeah. Fucking freak. What the fuck?

Suck a fat one, all of you. Now remember. Wait, is that real? Davin, the Grand Inquisitor is meeting with the rest of the House of the Artifices any minute now. You're needed in the Great Chamber. Should we be carrying it anyway? Apparently, there are two very special guests at tonight's meeting that you are all to meet. And news, it seems, from Daggerford.

And with that, he adjusts your robe and his own to bring it over his face and he walks away and congratulations you have stopped the cultist so now you can escape if you want. Sure What? Who was Davin Tyrrell?

He's the first guy we ever fucked up Oh, we killed his nephew. Davantieral framed you for the death of his brother, but sure. I mean, it's no peppercorn, but it's pretty close. So, you're all making your escape, is that right?

You managed to squeeze out as well, Logan? All of you are heading out down the corridor. Are you sneaking? Are you running? How are you doing this? We're under the rope, so we should just be able to be walking normal style. Yeah, we're doing Monty Python, like slapping ourselves in the faces with Bibles and walking in a...

Wonderful. Am I big or small? You are by now because you've sort of gotten away from the moon. You're small again. Okay, all right, cool. And as all of you make your way, you see up ahead, make perception checks for me, actually, everybody.

Ooh, not very perceptive. Eight. Ten. Eighteen. Eight. All me, actually. Everybody. Ooh, not very perceptive. Eight. Ten. Eighteen. All right, eighteen. Bobby, you suddenly notice that back to you is the figure of another cultist. This one, obviously, with orc or ogre blood, a big, big, big brute of a cultist. And they haven't spotted you yet.

They're about 20 feet away, and they're looking down the corridor the other way. Guys, just huddle. There's somebody up here, so let's just pretend we're having a chat and we're not going to talk about it. We don't show our faces and we'll just play a ball. Now, if you're trying to escape,

you're going to have to... Are you just saying gooby-garby? Yeah, I'm doing normal talking. If you're trying to escape, Bobby, you're going to need to go past them. The corridor passes them. So you're going to have to Bobby, you're going to need to go past them. The choreo passes them. So you're going to have to address them, talk with them, or otherwise deal with them. Yep.

Yep. Okay, so I'll just sort of go walk past Tim with a plan. With a clam? With a plan. Okay, what's your plan? If he addresses me, I'll say that his dick's out and when he looks down, I'll run past him. That is a plan, my friend.

I'm sorry, Mrs Griner. Simon's entire family have come tonight. It took a lot of convincing for them to do the family reunion here tonight. After 30 years, they're all here. Do you know the real reason they haven't come before, except the first year that it happened, they were at the one where Hing's character choice was to scream while he masturbated.

And at interval, my mum was like, oh, I'm a bit tired, it's really good, but I'm just a bit sleepy, so we might go home. It's been like six years or whatever. There are still some great restaurants in Newtown open. You can still get in. A plan in motion is a beautiful thing. As Bobby, you step forward to the cultist.

As you walk, he's so distracted, he doesn't notice. You get right up to him and you actually are able to sort of, you have to clear your throat for him to turn around. You actually are able to sort of, you have to clear your throat for him to turn around. And then the figure turns and you look into the face of a powerfully built half-orc with a kind and trusting face. A face that you saw years ago of a small-time orc with big city dreams related to one other dragon, friends. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for our second guest of the evening, Tom Walker as Dilj.

Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom. Well done. Tom, I have your character sheet here. Oh, you stuck it back together. Taped up. I had to use quite a bit of tape, yeah. But for now, of course, because you're back, Dilj is alive. How funny would it be if we killed Tom? I was hearing you guys

advance upon my back backstage, and I was like, I could have an early night. So, Dilj, you turn, and Bobby is about to say something when you see recognition in Dilj's face, and it has to be said a flicker of confusion. Hey.

You gonna do the dick? Do you... He just hugs him. Okay, so Bobby gives a little hug, which I would say is basically thigh high, but he gives you a little hug. Oh, it's like I'm wearing one little furry boot. Do you

know us? Well, yeah. Guys, we've only been gone a minute. Oh, yeah. Bobby, Friso, and Filch. You would recognise them, Dilge, but there are changes. Bobby is now wearing a sort of tight-fitting black outfit. He looks a lot more haunted.

Me, I have to be honest. Me basing this mainly on context. Friso? Friso? Yo. Don't know a sensitive way to bring this up. Your race changed. What?

Since when? Suspiciously soon. How would you describe my race now? Human. More specific. Actually, Dildge, are you feeling hungry at all? Just say no, just say no. Just say no. Phil shoves Friso in the face

and gives Dilj a really big hug. Oh, okay. So Dilj and Filch, two brother and sister, reunited after a thousand years and after an untimely death many seasons ago, give each other a big hug. So you just hear a few seconds ago and then new disguise?

Cultistrope's not good, he's grabbing his cultistrope. I thought we agreed black robe nice, but... Hey Dilch, remind us, what the plan? We're going to spy on the ritual. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Peppercorn this for us, Hing.

No, no, he No no no no we're gonna go spy on the ritual and fuck this is sick because and he whispers

to Dilj to Filj her name is Filj Who? I'm Filj or do you wanna whisper it to Tom? No no no Alex

to Filj sorry Yeah Do you remember before there was a cultist and then there was a dragon

and that's how Dilj died originally And then we used his body to prop open a door Yeah you stole a lot of stuff From his body So if we do everything exactly the same as we did last time Tom gets to go home early You still You whispering to sister while she still hugs me

Means you're whispering to me Don't worry Dilj We got you buddy You whispering to sister while she still hugs me means you're whispering to me. Don't, Hiltz. We got you, buddy. Got me what? A turtle? This is our friend Logan the Huge. Okay.

Hi there. Well, recruitment mission seems to be a success, but you all seem a bit different than... So where did we go last time you speak to us? Where us? Well, you said you'd just be back in a minute. You were just doing recon. And as he says this, you suddenly see a shadow

fall over the dilge of a figure coming to see what is taking so long on his recon mission, and all of you look up in confusion as Filge, the half-orc, walks out of the door behind Dilge. So I have to do that? No, you don't, because to play that half-orc,

welcome to the stage, Alex's brother from Melbourne, Rhiannon Lee! Oh! Alex's brother from Melbourne, Rian and Lee. Oh! Wait. So Tom is playing Alex's D&D brother. Yes.

And Rian and her actual brother is playing Alex in this reality. It's a simple adventure. Try to keep up. Oh, my God. This is Filch, level one, bangs, half-orc barbarian. Alex in this reality. It's a simple adventure. Try to keep up. So. Oh my God. This is Filch, level one, bangs,

half-orc barbarian. Did we fly him here? Yep. And do you know what? He hadn't arrived when we started the show. This is. If I seemed out of sorts at the beginning,

I was getting a lot of text messages. But you're here now and that's the important thing. I have a character sheet for you. You are a level one half-orc barbarian. You fight with a wall. I know what those words mean.

You have three javelins. You have 14 armor class. You have 14 hit points. I'm going to help you do everything. Cool, cool, cool. But right now you're confused because your brother, you see, are talking to three figures that look suspiciously like your friends on this mission,

but older, stranger, and more grizzled as you look up at them. Wow, two sisters. I'm the luckiest brother in the world. Oh gosh! Filch! Hey! Hey!

Orc voice, orc voice. Yeah, back in season one. Back in season one, Alex was... How many episodes of my podcast that I have done for the last eight years have you listened to? I went to the superhero convention one where you did it live. He went to pass.

That was in 2017. Yeah, and what a show. What a show. Since then? I mean, I've meant it. It's on the list. It's definitely on the list. There are so many good podcasts, right?

Yeah, I was thinking. I think Blake has a new one now. There's a new This American Life every week, you know? And also, because I literally just flew here from Melbourne, I haven't heard a single thing you guys have said. Yeah, no time to listen to the podcast on the plane. Yeah, not a good vehicle. You put some headphones on.

That's my Marron time. All right, so you understand you're here? That's about as much as I've got, yeah. And yet she is here. Crazy. What does Filch do? What does she think? What's her reaction?

She's freaking out. She's like, who is this? It's like a better looking younger version of me. Technically, is that right? No, I think you're the better looking, younger version. And she thinks the opposite of what I just said. Oh my gosh. Why have you put me in this position?

You thought it was bad that your family were in the audience. Okay, alright, you piece of shit. There can only be one of us. Right. Me made some mistakes. And me here to correct them. Fuck. And there can't be two me's.

Me know how this works out. Just one. Just one me. Filch. Remember last episode or whatever? Like a couple of days ago when I was like, I'm sorry, I have to kill the dragon friends Let me kill you

No If I kill you You don't have to kill me No, no, no, no If you kill her, she will die No No She's past you

This doesn't feel quite right Well, she passed me Yeah, if you kill her You're no longer there No no no Yeah but then what She gotta kill me? No

If she does She'll just kill herself But later Someone in this cult Must have whiteboard I'm gonna go get Freezo What?

And Filch Knocks on the door And calls out Freezo And then I'm coming, I'm coming. Please welcome to the stage, Hing's fiancée, Hump. You motherfuckers.

Hing? Is she sitting with us? You want the mic? I don't want to be rude, but we have a fucking guest. Can you get up out of your seat? Yeah, no worries. So the figure suddenly walks in,

powerful blue skin, strange, haunting expression of absolutely no emotion, impassive, strange, robotic, distant, unfriendly, an associate at best, a friend never, of level one warlock, Hing's character of Friezo.

And I apologize about the name. Now, Hum, I know that I told you when I asked you to be on this that you weren't actually going to have to play any Dungeons & Dragons. I lied, and I'm really sorry about that. But that's your hit points. I don't know what that is, and I'm not going to read that. Babe, babe, babe, babe, this is so hot. I'm going to throw this into the audience.

All you need to know... She's just taken off her engagement ring. So, Hum, all you need to know is that your adventuring friend, Filge, has brought you in to see that Dilge and Filge are currently talking to four strangely reminiscent adventurers that you don't trust because something is going weird and kooky with the timeline. Freezo. It's me, Freezo. You have been listening.

He's classic catchphrase. This is going to seem really weird to explain, and also because I just said I was going to kill you, but please listen. We time travelled. We, you, obviously. We gone through some shit. We went back in time. We come

back to here. Why is that guy human? Oh yeah, that... Well, I mean... Gaze into your future! One day you'll be Chinese! So... Dilj is clicking his fingers and just mouthing the words Chinese!

So is this... I have to sidebar here, just a little Dungeon Master to player chat. Has this changed the plan at all? Seeing that you're going to have to kill yourself played by your fiancé, is this still the plan? I'm kind of excited by the prospect of... ..of murdering myself in the past, eh?

Yeah. There's something quite tantalising about it. Well, this is a sidebar, so do you want to do anything? I just want to know, can you tell me, in the physics of this world if I kill my old self, will I die? Will Friso die? Will Chinese Friso die?

Why don't you... I think we should start calling him Chinese-o just so we all have a name. We're not doing that. It's clearer. No, we could... Everything Australians say sounds like a slur but that really

sounds like a slur. Yeah. On account of how it is, does anybody... Because I think this is fairly simple but does anybody have any theories

as to how this works? Yeah, if you kill your past self, your future self will die. But aren't these past selves in a different timeline? Yes. Separate to the ones we're in?

So you just... You don't know. This is all theoretical. That's true. You don't know this. Why don't you do this? Why don't you just do like a little like flick on the forehead or like cut a little thing there and see if you get a scar?

Oh, yeah. Cut. Cut Frisha's finger off. No. You could just scar me. Why don't we chop off Dilj's finger, then future Dilj show up. No. Dilj's finger, then future Dilj show up? Dilj!

What? While you were saying that, there is suddenly a click as if a lockpick has expertly picked a door just beyond in the shadows and another figure, a very small shadow, falls on Dilj and only goes up to his midsection as another halfling rogue walks in. Played by Simon Griner's dad. Make some noise for Christopher Griner. So my mum didn't come to see me,

she came to see her husband. Does he have a microphone? He does, Ben's got his microphone. Under your chair, there's one more microphone marked Chris. Have you ever seen a woman be disappointed as a mother and a husband in one night? Oh, no, they're both nerds. Chris, have you ever played Dungeons & Dragons before?

Nyet. Okay, so you are playing Bobby Pancakes. Oh, can I just ask, Chris? I mean, you sort of saw some of the show tonight, but based on what... That's an assumption. You've just been outside on your phone. But based on context clues

and maybe talking to your son in the past seven years, can you describe... Well, there's not much of that, unfortunately. That's another assumption. Can you describe to me what you think this show is? It wouldn't be printable. Okay, fantastic. Wonderful.

Good lawyer answer, Chris. Okay. So, Chris, you were playing a halfling rogue. Everybody, we're all keeping up. Ask him if he knows what a halfling rogue is. Do you know what? You're playing a hobbit thief, Bilbo Baggins. You're playing a Bilbo Baggins.

Ask him if he knows who Bilbo Baggins is. Do you know who Bilbo Baggins is? Absolutely no idea. Okay. He has a real job. You're okay. You're playing a small, magical man with a moustache. You are a small thief.

You are going on adventures with the rest of your friends, and now you are face-to-face with a version of yourself who seems grizzled, older. He has a scar on his neck. Much like I'm feeling now. And dark, haunted eyes. He looks like he's seen some shit. You, as a sort of young, innocent thief

on the make, are a bit freaked out. He looks just like I always thought he would. I look like you think you thought you would look like? No. Like I thought you would think that I would look like when you were that old. Fuck. Fuck.

Dude. All right, now I will ask... Bobby and Bobby and Friso and Friso, can you quickly make for me perception checks? Oh, yeah. Hum, that's you as well. Two, that's a two. Simon?

Twelve and... Dad got a twelve and I got a nine. Oh, wait, what is your perception? Dave, I got a twenty. You got a twenty? Yeah, is that good? Oh, no, hum. Oh and I got a 9. Oh, wait, what is her perception? Dave, I got a 20. You got a 20? Yeah, is that good? Oh, no. Oh, I'm so sorry.

You're good at Dungeons and Dragons. I'll kill you. Stop looking at me. I think you might be a natural. Babe, babe, babe, let's get married tonight. That's right. You rolled your first natural 20, which means... Oh, it was a maths 20. No, it was a maths 20. Oh, it was a maths 20.

But it means that Friso suddenly pricks up her elf-like ears as she spins around and says... And you realise that there are footsteps of three figures coming down the corridor the way that you just arrived from. There are more people coming. You can tell the others if you want. This is information known only to you. No.

That's classic Friso. You're doing well. You're doing well. All right. Yes, and. Yes, and. Do you want to do anything secretly in preparation? I want to kill future Friso.

What the fuck, bro? In preparation, you want to kill future Friso. Yeah. Okay, great. Well, you can cast Witch Bolt, I suppose. Sure. Which dice is Witch Bolt? The same one.

Roll for me a 20-sided dice. The rest of you, because Friso has not helped you, are caught unawares as suddenly there are the figure of three more cultists walking down the corridor. And because you're at this moment, your capes are all back in a matter of some confusion, they can see that you're not who you're meant to be as they approach and address you. I think a dice was some confusion, they can see that you're not who you're meant to be as they approach and address you.

I think a dice was just rolled, Dave. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she rolled really well, but I don't know how to help her. We're going to come back to this. I got that again. But right now. Halt, who goes there? Who's, what's going on here?

You guys just had a, you guys just gave me the password before. Now there's more of you. Wait, that was you? Your accents changed. Your accents changed. No, no, I'm talking about these guys. Oh, the not us guys. At that moment, in the moment of confusion,

Friso whips around and casts a lethal witch bolt at Friso. Yeah, it's an 18 plus 9. You rolled an 18, which hits, and you do another 14 points of damage to you. How many hit points have you got left? About 29, I think. All right, 29 hit points. As the younger Frieza, not trusting for a minute,

suddenly her eyes glow purple as she starts to draw traces of runes you recognise, and a bolt of purple light hits you. You scream in pain, and the guards react to this with sudden panic. Oh, my God! That's cuckoo bananas. You can't be doing all this. Oh, no, this stinks to heaven to me. And he pulls a bell.

He pulls out a bell as the other two emerge and race towards... We're going to go straight into Dungeons & Dragons combat, which with ten... I'm going to stress this enough, ten players, three of which are sharing chronological space with three other players. And the first one up is Reardon. Congratulations, you're going to be our first act. What do you want to do? What are my options?

You have them all. You have three javelins. You can go into a rage. You can throw something. What do you want to do? I'd like to throw a javelin. Great. Throwing a javelin at? You have them all. You have three javelins. You can go into a rage. You can throw something. What do you want to do? I'd like to throw a javelin. Great. Throwing a javelin out?

Friso. Okay. What are we doing here? All right. You're going to attack Friso as well. Great. Make an attack roll for me. Wait.

Chineso or Friso? Yeah, yeah. Your Friso. Chineso. Their Friso. I can say Chineso, right? Yeah, yeah. You're the only ones who can say it.

I really would prefer if you didn't. So, suddenly Filge roars and throws a javelin. Sorry, bangs Filge, not side phase, undercut Filge. And throws a javelin, which clatters at the ground just inches from Freezo, who gives a little undignified shriek. And the next one up is Bobby Pancakes. Which one? Simon.

Oh, okay. I'm going to slash one of the guards with my sword. Mm-hmm. And that hits for 23. Yep. And does 12 damage. 12 damage. Okay, the guard shrieks and dies instantly.

As you remember, these are level one guards. This is an adventure from a long time ago and you are very, very powerful. And that's how you do it. The next one up is Dilj. Dilj is swinging a light hammer. Don't worry about Dilj. Okay, Filj. Seems like a lot of people are attacking your friend Freezo,

but also some of them are attacking the guards. I'm going to attack a guard, I think. The one who is closest to me. Yep, one of them is a moat. I'm going to swing at them with my maul. I roll poorly. All right. Unfortunately, your rage has died off, so that's the end of yours.

The guards go next, and one of them starts ringing a bell. You hear bells sounding all around, as it seems like the alarm is well and truly going off all over the House of the Artifact. So the other two advance. One of them's dead. So when I say the other two advance, one of them advances by falling over, bleeding from the mouth,

and the other one advances by stabbing Dilge. No! Dilge, you take five points of damage. Okay. And the next one up is Chris. Bobby Pancakes, the younger. And what are my options? You have daggers that you can throw.

You can try and hide if you don't want to fight. You can... I would like to look daggers. You're going to look daggers? Yeah. Oh, you want to intimidate. Make an intimidation check. How did you know?

Who are you going to intimidate? The guards thatation check. Do you know? Yeah, who are you going to intimidate? The guards that are attacking you? No. No? My elder ego. Oh, okay. Bobby stares daggies at Bobby the elder. I need you to roll this for me quickly, Chris.

Go ahead and roll that, bad boy. That's a nine. A nine, all right. And this is obviously an opposed roll by your wisdom saving throw. So can we roll it for you? Or you just roll it and that's a 12

so you realise that this bobby despises you for some reason but you are still able to act for now and the next person to play Dungeons and Dragons is Lawyer Hum Oh Lawyer Hum had already had a go Sorry, oh I'm getting confused, it's Freezo Fuck, if I kill old Hum, do I die, Dave?

We don't know yet. It's all theoretical. We don't know. I offered you to chop off a finger, but... Okay. Well, why don't I just kill Reardon then? Whoa. No.

And see if Alex dies. All right. Make an attack for me. No, no, not Alex. Bobby's already died before, so how do you feel? No, don't kill anyone. We're going to have to kill someone to see what happens. Just shove up a finger.

There are two guards still, one of them ringing a bell. Fine, I'll kill the guard then, Dave. I will stab the guard with my nine life stealing sword. Make an attack. That's a 15. That will hit. Yeah, all right. And then I think it's 2d6 damage.

12 hit points. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. That's two. That's a six and a six. He's dead. All right. There's only one guard left, and Logan, you're up.

I use my thorn whip, and I whip him around the foot, and I just belt him on the ground, if possible. Make an attack for me. I'm a plus 12. No, nine. All right, never mind, because the next one up is Friso the Younger, Friso the Pure, Friso the Simpler, Friso played by Humira.

Hum, what are you doing? Who's the last guard? Well, the last guard is played by Ben, but you are also attacking Friso. What accent does that guard have? Why don't you ask him? You can talk to him. Where are you from? Well, I'm from a little town not too far from here, Daggerford.

Well, I'm from a little town not too far from here, Daggerford. It's a beautiful town where the peaches are as sweet as... I'm going to kill him. All right. You spin around. You cast another Witch Bolt. New runes in the air as your eyes glow white, making me one more attack. Is that the big one again?

Yep. Five. Five plus your spell attack is not enough, so the spell fizzles, unfortunately, and the next one up is Rhiannon. I would like to maul that same guard. And charging forward with a big two-handed hammer is the figure of Filch the Younger,

who races forward, and there is a splintering thud as the guard cultist flies backwards into the door, which cracks open the last corpse destroyed, and behind that door is a figure that none of you have seen for a thousand years for some of you for others not since the battle of the ship line it is the figure of the crime lord that rules the wicked under city of water deep the man that was once your boss who you saw die on a battlefield in another lifetime it is janice mere great coat in hand a sewn up wound on his

shoulder but still very much alive as he bursts into the room. And he takes in the room and he takes in the carnage and he takes in the doubles and goes well, looks like the infiltration plan shot to shit. Would any of you mind telling me what the fuck is going on?

A simple question and one that may be difficult to answer for it has been three years in the making the dragon friends have travelled so far further than before a thousand years into the past, a thousand years into the future, through hell, through high water, all on one single mission to make it back home, make it back to where they belong, but what if

your home is taken, what if you walk up to your door and find that residence is no longer permitted in a city that you once held home, what do if you find a brother that was once yours, only to find a sister that he already has? Is there a place for you anymore in these forgotten realms? Is there hope anymore? Is there a way to live in this time

to find out the answers to questions such as these? Tune in to the final episode of this season of Dragon Friends. Thank you! Thank you! The cast of Dragon Friends for this month is Alex Lee, Simon Greiner, Michael Hing, Tom Cardy, Montaigne, Tom Walker, Riyordan Lee, Chris Greiner, and Harm. Dave Harmon is our Dungeon Master, with NPC voices provided by Ben Jenkins, and live accompaniments by Nick Harry. Shakira Khan is our producer, the podcast is edited, mixed, and mastered by me, Hugh Guest, and Dragon Friends is recorded, as always, on Gadigal land in the Eora Nation. This week's episode was made possible by contributors to the Dragon Friends Patreon,

who get special early access to ad-free episodes, as well as live show recordings and exclusive content every other week. Until next time! Make a hundred mistakes and make a hundred more. But don't worry, cause that's what time travels for You can always go back And try again And if you go back

And kill your friends You can always go back An extra few seconds You can always go back How are you Michael Hing? I'm on top of the... Why are you asking? Do you know anything about me or what?

I've been undergoing some tests at the hospital recently. What? Just how we wanted to start the show. I didn't feed you that line with that in mind. I thought it was going to be, I'm great, let's go. Oh, no, no, no. I've been having some... I've got the thing called COVID or something.

Wait, what? No, anyway, so they've been doing this thing where they put powder in my lungs and then they induce an asthma attack. And I've been doing it like a couple of times a month and it's wait what no anyway so they've been doing this thing where they put powder in my lungs and then they induce an asthma attack and I've been doing it like a couple of times a month and it really sucks

but I had to go get a lung x-ray and then I said to the specialist can you tell me they're like you can't get back until February I'm like ah fuck this

so I got the x-ray people to send it to my mum who's also a doctor was like maybe mum can have a little crack at interpreting it even though it's not

a specialty but you know lungs are lungs you know is that what you said to her? I was like I don't know lungs are lungs

she was like I'll give it a go she's a vet but but she said my dad was a like a rabbit or something no no no

so I sent her the picture of the thing and then she sent me back a report that was like here's what's going on and I'm like I can't fucking understand that

what's going on and she said this is what she texted back. You're as normal as you can be. And I don't know if she's saying, like, you're as normal as a person could be. No, she didn't. She didn't say that.

She's like, we've seen the charts of what you've got, Michael. You're as normal as you can be is, like, a beautiful sentiment. That's you or you are Lisa Simpson. I believe that's a James Taylor song, isn't it?