Dragon Friends - DF2 #3.01. Not To Make This About Me

Episode Date: February 15, 2026

EDITOR'S NOTE - In a change for this year, the first few episodes of the season will be pre-recorded without a live audience due to scheduling commitments on the Draggo's parts. We'll have more to share about the return of Live Shows in the second half of the year, as well as other exciting news about new adjacent projects.The Heroes of Yearth are reeling from their defeat. The power of the Cult of the Dragon proved too great, and now our heroes lay scattered, shaken, and even cursed. It'll be a long road to stand against the victorious cult. But first, a challenge of linguistic significance. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can I just brain this in a little bit? I thought that a lack of a live audience would potentially mean that you would all focus on the game of Dungeons and Dragons. No, because now we're only trying to impress each other. Yeah, I think this is going to be so much work. It's going to take so much energy to stay on track. You can pray, but your gods won't save you. The worm's fire will not spare you.

Doom and destruction, death and rebirth. To whom can return with the heroes of yours. Fair jaws are autism. Our asses are fast. Our heroes faced off against Resmir, the Black Dragon worm speaker of the cult of the dragon. And I've followed her through a portal where she claimed she now has one of the final important pieces of treasure

to summon Tiamat, the mother of dragons, back into this world. And when she did that, she kidnapped your new friend Ernie Sweetwater, who made his choice to curse carrying Valerian. with an ancient draconic curse. It wasn't, do you want to curse your best friends? No, it was laid out in front of me. I feel like it was really heavily implied. I was so stones at last show.

What? Were you really? It was just doing a joke. Why is it when I'd do a joke? Everyone does a question, but we're talking about monkeys humping each other for ages and everyone's just playing around.

It was also your same joke. It was more believable that you would be stoned. And also that involves animal welfare, which is a serious matter that we take seriously. Yeah, unlike Tom Carthys' welfare, Which is so chuck. Now, the first thing you notice is the cold air on your faces. And then the smell of burning hair.

Ooh. Oh, no. Charian Valerian, you awaken in a pile of snow. Didn't much about, you're there atop this rocky mountain top. Also, in a pile of snow. Oh. Polly Waddle. Rogue Ducklin.

Pile of snow for you as well. Pile of snow. Yes. But where is any sweetwater? Pile of snow next to them. Uh-uh. Baha-bao. He's not there.

No snow. In fact, the only clue is the smell of burning hair in the air. Do any of us have burning hair? I'm going to check my feathers. I'm going to pat myself. You are not a light. You are not on fire. Polywattle.

In fact, all of you are not on fire. This seems like an insurance thing. What do you mean? It's a salon that somebody couldn't keep afloat. Oh, you think. You think, no, there's just the smell of burning hair in the air. Oh. So you think we got transported through a portal to a fantasy world.

And your first thought was, I can smell burning hair. Insurance. A hairdresser has gone bankrupt and has set their hairdressing salon alight for insurance purposes. Yeah, because if you're a hair salon, you just, well, the hair that you cut, you just keep on pushing it into the back room and eventually get so full of hair. Yeah. You have to burn down the building and start again. You have to.

What do you even do with this much? Yeah. It smells so bad. There is no hairdresser to be seen. I pop my head out of the snow and I look around and I'm looking for the source of the smoke. If I can see a little pleura smoke. Okay. Yeah.

You want to do a perception check? I would love to. Thank you so much. Oh, yeah. Perceive. I'm going to perceive the hell out of this one. Whoa, it's a three, baby. Okay, so for a three, all you'll see is that maybe 10 meters. away from you across the mountain that you have fallen onto

through these portal stones is a plume of smoke behind a series of trees. It's about 10, 15 metres away. You can see, yeah, it's just some smoke coming up out of the trees. Can I ask a question about the portal? Can we see the portal that we've come through and whereabouts is in relation to us? So, yes, it is from, so there's a hole in the sky

that you've fallen out of. Okay. Oh. But safely. Yeah, into a pile of snow. Yeah, into a pile of snow. And there are some rocks on the ground that are clearly like, not just like any old rocks. They're clearly ceremonial rocks.

Oh, okay. They're magical portal stones, you see. Serominal rocks. And I'll also tell you this, up the hill from you, there is a hunting lodge, a sort of an old building. In the same direction as the smoke? No. Let's say from where you're facing, smoke in front. front of you, but like across the mountain and the building is up the mountain from you.

So maybe to your left, depending on how you're orienting. I'll just say to your left. Apparently there was some sort of sense of direction. Up the hill. Up the hill? What do you say? East west? Nah.

Can we, um, is the portal still open? Can I stick my head back through the portal? No, it's a way in the sky. The thing about poly is. You can fly, you fucking idiot. You can try. Go give it a go. I'll stick my head through.

You're going to fly up into the thing? Yeah. Do a dexterity save it. Do a dexterity roll for me, a dexterity check please. Whoa, that's an 11. Ooh, okay, a bolt of lightning comes out of the portal and just misses you. Yow!

Ooh. Nearly spelt, smelt. Nearly spelt. Smelt. I nearly said S-M-E-L-T. What did you nearly smelt? I nearly smelt burning feathers. Well served.

That was worth it. But from where you are now, you can see more of the, where the plume of smoke is coming from. There is a clearing behind the trees that you can see. And there is, and you spot what looks like, a level seven bard strung above, by his feet, strung above a fire. And his hair is cinch, his hair is cinch. Oh no. It is your beautiful friend, beautiful sweet and his sweet water.

Oh my goodness. Strung up above a fire. Strung up above a fire. Can I see my friends? My other friends? Yeah, yeah, you were all together, so you would have seen them in the pile of snow. Wait, wait, wait, wait, but like between two trees? Between, no, okay, I say it would be like a hangman's gallows kind of thing.

Oh, like hanging over. Yeah, what I'm envisioning. In fact, what it is. Not just what I'm envisioning. I'm the DM. I'm like to paint a picture with my words. Here we go. Imagine you're playing Hangman. And you're really bad at it.

But we haven't got to person yet. Does everyone play Hangman across the world? Is it a Universal game? Yeah. Okay. So it's, yeah, you've just built the gallows with a hangman. That's what it looks like. Okay.

Like a gallows, you see. Oh, it's just the gallows. It's like a gallows. But the person now switch to real life. The gallows is there. We're no longer playing a game. Okay. Instead of regular way you'd play Hangman,

You start from heads. Which is like always like just hanging on a like from the string on the head. Yeah. Well that's the angle. Now we're not doing any, we're not doing any. Also in retrospect, quite a grim game to be played as a seven year old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spell or kill.

Yeah. Instead. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you play it as though the class was bad to be hung or did you play it as though? Sorry, how did you? I'm going to ask maybe how did you play it? We played it as though we were meant to be, we were the person being hung.

Oh, no, no. You're the executioner. You're the, no, you're the person trying to save. I always saw it as we can save them if we spell the word right. So it's a guilt game. That was not the way. It was taught it all on public schools. Spell it or die.

You have one chance. Okay, so, but rather than being suspended from head, this time suspended from feet. Yes. Okay, so you would do crossways, rope, feet, legs. So which foot is the rope attached to? No, feet together. It can't be, no.

Feet together. Not in hangman style. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is what I'm saying. I'm saying, stop playing hangman. This is real life now. Okay, I'm sorry. You should make us play hangman to three time.

We're doing it. We're pregnant, hangman. We're pregnant, hang man. Oh, God, I'd love to play hangman right now. I'd be honest, I spent so long leveling up my character getting new spells. I'm happy to real die if they don't save me. Okay, let's play game of Hangman. Okay, let's play game of Hangman.

Okay. Hey, guys, I have something important to say. Okay, Hingman. Yes. Very nice. And actually, after a childhood where I thought I would be dying, if were I to lose Hangman, now I, as the Hingman, and I'm able to play the role you all got to play as children, the executioner.

All right, I say, come on, everyone, I can see Ernie, and he's, he's, have you guys ever played the game, Hangman? I go, well, it's like that. Imagine the gallows. Well, there's gallows. And he's upside, but he's upside down. His hair's all in the fire. So come on.

We better go help him. All right. Not to make this about me. Yeah. But... Go on. Seems like you're about to. I am about to.

At the last episode, you talked about the curse. Has anyone noticed that I'm cursed or have I noticed that I am? All right, I've got the word. Are we doing this? That's a good point, though. I am curious if my character doesn't die. Is Simon is... You see, you all saw, you all saw Charine Valerian have scolietal wings grow from his back,

and occasionally he was spitting fires he was thrown through the portal. Why did that happen? We haven't confronted it. Oh, yeah. So you guys are just like pretending it's not happening? Yeah, we're like looking around. Oh, what's up? Yeah, no, he's up that way, actually.

It's not so wet. And how do you, what do you want to do in this moment? Why just want to know what I, actually, do I need to do a, like a... You know, yeah, let's do a Constitution saving throw. The hardest perception test is one. constitution that is you got a beat 15 i do not oh beat 15 okay so here's what's going to happen once a day now because you are cursed uh by this ancient draconic curse once a day uh once per long arrest i should say you need to make a constitution saving throw i guess i'll do it either at

times when it suits the narrative or when i want um so when you want yeah you can also elect to do it i guess you can try and get it out of the way in the morning if you feel like uh and if you Failure Constitution saving throw of 15, you breathe fire wherever you are. So you'll cast... You just like spews a little? Yeah, you spewle a little bit of fire. So, let me get a potion of fire breathing. We'll use that as the stand in.

I think it's 4D6 damage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, here we go. That's 3 plus 6 plus 2 plus 4. So that's 15. So the only one around you now is dinner munch about, dinner munch about you've got to make a dexterity saving throw, I believe. I'll do that. Wow.

You just baffed fire all over you. Oh, no. Oh, I didn't open me thing. Sorry, you've got to be 13. Oh, I... Oh, I... What is it when it's equals? I got 13.

Yeah, you pass. You pass. You only take half damage. You take six damage. All right. Oh, God. And Charim Valerate spews fire into the air. I...

Oh. Guys, I feel very cool. Did everyone see that? A column of fire erupted from my jar, my ma'am, my flaming, papa. Now, Pollywattle, we're not going to play hangman. You, you, you. Okay, fine, we'll play hangman then. Okay, okay, what's the word?

All right, so we make it to the, we make it over to where Ernie Sweetwater is. Yeah, well, is someone going to make us play hangman? Mm-hmm. Is it an in-game hangman? Yeah, okay, it's an in-game hangman. Okay, okay. It's me, Michael Hing. You, play by Eden.

As the three of you arrive, you are. We said we were going to play proper Dungeons and Dragons. I'm trying to do this as much as possible. Now, I have, I've, okay, as you arrive, you are met at the, the three of you creep, I guess, into the woods. What are you doing? Creepy. We're creeping. Creep, creep.

No, I don't keep breathing fire, right? I just, I've done it once. It's one breath of fire and the next time you take a long break. Has that raised any alarms? How high was that fire? It was a, I think it's a 10 foot kind or something. So it would have been, it would have been pretty impressive. Okay, so do we need, so.

How deep is a snow? Can we like be shuffling through the snow? I would say it's like, it was, it's, yeah, I guess no one's skiing on this mountain or anything. It hasn't been groomed.

Yeah, nice. It's feet of powder that you're like trudging through. Do we want to like trudge through the powder? I'm going to go first because I'm the color of snow and I'm stealthy. Okay, so you're going to try and sneak. Yeah,

I'm sneaking. Okay. And do you want me to go ahead and like look for any danger? Yeah, make a, make a, not a sneak attack. What do you call a,

what do you call a creep movie? Stealth attack. Self check. Sorry, that's what you're here for Eden. Thank you, Eden. Yeah, I'm here for rules. Thank you, Eden. You want to know rules.

Whoa, that's a 20. Hey, yo, so sneaky. So as you approach the clearing, you undetected what you see first is your beautiful friend, Ernie Sweetwater, struck up by his legs, so his feet, his hair has been burnt away. He's now just has a, oh, what's the monk haircut? Tonshire.

So many characters in dragon friends have monk haircuts, I feel like. Yeah. You've had, you've had, you've had, For you had top of scalp burnt all the way down, and it's just tons to your left. Oh, like one of the webpins. B? Oh, yes. Okay, and you've met.

Next to him, what you see is, is, he is, he is swinging above a fire. And next to him is a four-armed troll. Yeah. A giant four-armed troll who's trying to make him play hangman. Ah, ha, ha. They call me the demon of Illawong High. He's going to give a fuck. Let me down.

I'm not playing your games. No, no, no. Spelling is the only way to make it. You're such a nerd. I'm so born. Let me down, I'll beat the shit out of you. His name is, you've met Borage. Borage is your character.

Borage, my name's Borage, the spelling boy. Boric's the spelling troll. Yeah. Okay, so let's do this for real. I will write the word for Eden, You can play hangman, Tom, and if you die, I don't know what we're going to do. I don't want to die. I just hurt me.

Okay, here we go. Just hurt me real mad. Okay, it is. All right, who's ready? And I'm going to, okay, so you've got to guess all the letters in this word, in the right order. You have to guess what word I'm thinking. Otherwise, I'm going to lower this rope with each one, and he's going to lose even more of his beautiful hair. He pulls a blackboard from behind a snowy bush.

and with the chalk he outlines nine letter spots for you to play. What? Why are you doing this to me? Ah, because I feel like it. I've never got, I've never, I've never got, I've never met anyone before. And you're the first person I've met. I'll play games with you if you just, like, you don't have to threaten me with violence. Borage tells you that he, uh, is trying to impress a, uh, a, uh,

some local cultists that have taken over a hunting lodge. Yes. Telescope. No, no. Do you know how to play Hangman? Dina much about has wandered in from... Are we? We're not even there yet.

Telescope! Telescope! Has wandered into a clearing now and has just announced himself by yelling at a telescope at this troll. What does Borage want to do with that? One letter from telescope appears twice in my word. Oh. Oh, Will shorts over here.

Wait, actually. Two letters appear twice. Dinner. Yeah. Just kill him. We don't have to play. I'm almost on fire. If you kill me, you won't get to play my game.

Okay, I pop out of the snow and I say C. But there's two of you. You can surely take him if there's two of you. There are no Cs in my word. Oh, no. And I lower the... Okay, no C's. No scenes.

I pop up from behind a bush and I say A. Yes. For arrow. And then I shoot him. But it's an 11. Is that hit? Yes, it does hit.

Oh, there is one A. Where's the A? Where's the A? The first letter is A. But that didn't hit because he has arm in class 50. It just lodges in it. It doesn't even hurt him at all. Just one A?

Do I tell them where it is? There's one. Oh, fuck out. Yes, it does tell us where it is. It's so hard to do it with a computer. It's going to be great for the podcast. And it's also the fourth last letter. Oh, yes.

Oh. Are you playing at home? They will be. Are you playing along? What the fourth and last letter? It's the first and the... One, two, four, four, five. And the sixth letter. A is the first and the sixth letter of the nine-letter word.

Whose turn is it now for... That's what I was thinking. Ernie's turn now. Ernie, would you like to guess a letter? Oh, my hair's on. Fire my whole brown is singeing. It's so much pain. You don't need.

D. D. There are no D's. Flame licks the back of your mullet. Did it much about your turn. P. There are no P's. That's what you think.

My turn? And then the front of my pants gets dark. I think it's Charyon's turn. Okay, well, I just put my bow and arrow away and say, N. There is one N. The final letter is N. He says.

I say, yes. Who is next? A very lucky, hairy boy. Now you duck. T? Yes. There is, there are two T's from the aforementioned telescope. Yes.

The third and the third last letter. Oh, okay, guys. Ernie, would you like another guess? Yeah, I'd like another turn. I cast Hierotechnics. Okay, what is that? It basically, it makes the fire go out, and then it casts, like, black smoke erupts from it and covers,

I'm going to just, I don't know exactly how much, but a massive amount. So there's a lot of smoke? There's heaps of smoke. Oh, you've disappeared, but I can still hear you. What letter would you like to guess? Hang on, the target explodes with a dazzling display of color. So what are you casting? What are you casting it on? There's a fire.

Oh, you choose an area of flame that you see. Yeah. Actually, that's a good point. You can extinguish the fire in that area and you create fireworks or smoke. So you've chosen smoke. You know what? Well, the thing is, if I choose fireworks, then everyone's going to be blind. I'm going to choose smoke.

Okay, so... Yeah, the smoke. The black smoke spreads out from the target, which is. the fireplace, or the bonfire, I should say. The 20-foot radius moving around corners. The area of smoke is heavily obscured. The smoke persists for one minute or until a strong wind disperses it. Well, let's keep playing.

And I, at the same time, I try and struggle out of whatever's working. I love this game. Can I have a, when can we have a guess? Yeah, none of these are letters. Just pick a single letter. Hang on it. So, Ernie Sweetwater, you're going to struggle. It's hard because your arms and legs are tied.

Fine with me. So it would be, what? sorry? I said, fine with me. I don't think he likes it. What? So you need to make a,

what do we make this? A dexterity check, I guess, to struggle out of roads? Slider hand. Yeah, slide a hand. With probably disadvantage, probably. Yeah. It's a disadvantage.

You've got to be 15. I do not. You're still stuck. What? I'm waiting for a letter. There are no Fs. Closer into this. I can't see how close you are

to the plane. It's really hot. Oh, we'll scream if you're burning. Dinner, I think it's your turn. L. There are no L. Can I have a guess? After charionion.

What's your turn, Alex? What's your turn? I guess I'll say the letter Z. No. Are you burning yet? Oh, yeah. My entire head's almost melt off my skull. You don't want your friend to die.

Polly, my new friend, Polly. If I guess it, you have to let me. my friend go. Obviously. I'm a hing man, not a monster. And is your word, automaton. Oh, no. How did you guess it? Boo. Boo, boo, boo. I hate my life. How did you get automaton? That's really good, Al.

I'm playing a lot of word games. It's been a contestant on letters and numbers. I hoist the, I hoist him, I swing. the gallows out of the fire. And lower Ernie down. And you can untie down. I untie him. Does anyone have any healing?

Yeah, I've got some healing for you. I'll cast a healing word on you, my man. Well, you have all ruined my ploy. I was trying to bring a nice burnt corpse to those cultists up the hill. And now I've got nothing, nothing to impress them. But he does, he goes on to tell you that it is a hunting lodge. So maybe they'd be impressed if you could hunt down a very specific kind of mountain prey for him. Yes.

Yes, that also. Oh, a big, I've seen them flying around here. It's called a mantico. Part man. Part. Tickor. No, it's got like a lion head. A scorpion tail.

A mantacore. He lives over that. way. And we have our friend back, so why are we doing this? Yeah. Because, oh, go on. Is this just like a favour? I don't think we...

That seems high risk. Look, what's the reward? He offers you no reward, but he points to a Drake kennel next to the lodge. And he tells you that he's made friends with all the drakes in this kennel, and that he will sick them on you if you don't help him impress the cultists. Yeah, look. It's more of a threat than I promise. Part threat, part favor.

You know, a little mix. Whichever one's more intimidating or enticing to you, you could choose as a motivation. It's not up for me for you to choose your motivation. I'm threatening, but also asking you, if you want to get the match code, that would be a huge help for me. If you don't, I'll stick different monsters on you. So you're really in a double monster sandwich here. Well, I used to be a proud Drake Daddy. So, you guys all remember my Drake?

Yeah. Yeah. Why, what did you think I was saying? Nothing. Just something normal. There's normal stuff. Don't worry about it. All I'm saying is, you know, I can handle a couple of horse-sized dragons.

All right, well, not to make it about me. Go on. Yeah, I don't want to. And thank you very much. Yes, there you go. There you did. Hey, so where did you guys come from, by the way? Oh, all over.

All over? Yeah. My mommy's tummy. My mummy's tummy. I'm just trying to kind of establish, you know. I was pulled through a portal after seeing my friend die and hearing his voice and he's just staring into where the fire used to be. I'm still here. I'll always be with you.

Do I still have the... No. Actually, at this point you realize the necklace has been taken from... And now that his voice is. out of my head, I've realized what I've done to my friends. You see that, in fact, the troll does have something you want. In fact, Borage is now wearing the necklace. Do I, may I ask, does that mean the kind of curse is lifted?

Do I want it, or am I kind of free from it, ring style? I think everyone wants the necklace a little bit. But may, do you reckon? Because maybe once you've had it, you like, no. You tell us the properties of this magical item. The magical necklace is, is. still want it. Yeah,

I think, I don't know if it's, kind of looks clapped out. Clapped out. I've had a lot of partners. Like it's, oh, are you slut shaming the necklace?

Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

does clapped out mean you have too much clap? Uh, what is, what is it? Like the clap? Yeah, or is your ass clap.

It was like a tired old car. Yeah, like a tired old car. Like butt cheeks tired from clapping. Like butt cheeks tired from clapping because they've been used so much. They're all worn. They're all worn. They're all worn.

I'm warm, I'm done with rapping, butt cheeks, tired from clapping. How does the necklace sound to borage? I guess it's the thing he wants the most... The necklace is like, make them play hangman. The necklace is actually the thing he wants the most of the world, which is his year two teacher, Mrs. Phil, it's from the long public school, approving of him. You're a very good boy.

And you've got lots of potential. That word had too many vowels in it. Fool! Too easy to guess! Always included a J. No one ever guesses J. Rhythm is a good one. No vowels at all. Listen, we're just going to have a quick little chitty chat.

Sure, I'll be here. So, I mean, should we just, should we go and get this mantacore or, I mean, I don't really want to be chased by a bunch of feral drakes, but if you think you can handle them. Well, how many are we talking? How many, how many drakes you got? 18.

That's a lot. I mean, that's a lot. All right. Can I ask you how you're feeling about sort of taking on a new adventure? You're sort of in a new state at the moment. Yeah, a snowy place. Yeah, but also the stuff on your back, I mean. Oh, yeah.

We're carrying a big emotional load everywhere we go with this adventure looming over us. I am sorry I asked. I didn't know it was going to be a whole thing. Are you upset with me? No. Okay. Are you feeling okay about going and doing stuff when you've got like a whole new thing going on? You got stuff coming out of your back. Like I see something in the corner of my eye and I like keep turning around trying to see. Okay.

This is sad. This sucks. What's, what? Tell it to me straight, dark. What's, what, what, what, what, what's my? Okay, can you, do you feel any, okay, do you feel any, um, coldness or, or a pinching sensor? or anything like how do you how do you feel bodywise do a scan okay go from get go from top of head top of head yeah go nose nose normal now back of head where the nose should be i don't know what that's called uh neighbor's neck perhaps and then and then maybe go down to shoulders okay anything noticing so far at tightness i suppose uh that could be stressed though could be don't think too hard you have

full control of your skeletal wing so you do feel something And when you say skeletal wings, do I have webbing between them? No webbing, just skelet skeletal. They're just clacking, clacking bone fingers on my back. And maybe while you're, while you're scanning your body, you're kind of going, hmm, and your wing is like scratching the top of your head. Like, do I feel anything? Are they fully prehensile?

Like I can, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you could, like, kind of like stroking my chin and like, I don't, you know how wing fingers, but you've got like wingers. Yeah, you've got, you know, no wingers. Well, inside all wings are fingers because we're pentadactals. Yeah. I don't know what the hell. that means. What?

See, he doesn't get to have the little, like, the hand, the Wimbon. What are they called? Where you got a hand on the end of your wing? Dragon. Wiggly, a Wigley boy. Hands? A wyver? D shit.

Listen. Or claw? At the end of your wings when they go like, oh, I'm walking around. I actually don't know what they're called. I generally don't know. Because you have hands. Dragon hand. I guess your, I guess your, I guess your, I guess your wings are kind of like

Polywaddles wings in that you have hands and wings. They're separate. So basically my question was like, do you feel different? because you've got some other stuff going on. Have you noticed this? Oh. Yeah. This is on you.

Didn't much about us now showing Charing Valerian at his new scolietal wings. So you got some clacky. Clacky smackies on your backy. Clacky smackies on my backy. And I don't know whether it's like, I wanted to know whether anything else has changed or whether you feel up to just like doing an adventure. I did bar fire earlier. But as we all noted, that was supremely.

cool. It was cool. I think this is a new year. I think this is a good look for me. Has you troat though? Has you troat after that? How is my throat? Your throat's fine. Okay. Okay. You have you have not suffered any damage from these cursed consequences. Should we check? Is there any

should you check if there's any other parts of your body that have been cursed? I'm like my pants. I'm like, I think penis, my sense is penis remains normal. Penis normal. Penis normal. Guys, penis normal. Oh, it's just that usually we would roll for that. No, it's a new season. We're not doing anymore.

How can you know? Why don't you give them a flap? See if you can fly. It's quite easy. You just sort of think, fly, and then it happens. Okay, do I have to roll for this? No, you can do a flap. You flap your wings, but no, you cannot fly.

You just have skeletal wings. Oh, can I take out, I think I have, uh, I think I have like, no, no, no. I have a, um, I have a tent set, right? Oh. So the first thing that I'm going to do is, I'm going to use the tent pegs to see whether I can play a tune on the bones of the wings. You cannot. Okay.

And then the next thing I'm going to do is I'm going to be like, hey, check this out. And I'm going to use the tarp from that walled cloth and try and sew it onto the bone areas. Oh, you're going to try and sew webbing. At least make it a glider. Tent webbing onto Simon's wings. Okay. Can we do a meanwhile? Yeah.

This might take some time. While you're working on that, borage. is still asking you to go get... Can I talk to Ernie Sweetwater? I cut down Ernie Sweetwater. I say, sorry about that. I was talking to my... My necklace really wanted me to burn you alive.

Yeah. It's my cool friend. Thanks for actually giving this to me. I didn't give it to you. You took it off me and you put me on top of a... Well, if you didn't want me to have it, you shouldn't have been asleep. Fair.

Remember that time you were having his sleep? Yeah, it's fair enough. Yes, he is stupid, isn't he? That's not fair. This dumb hair. Well, you smell a bit like burnt hair. Yeah, that's because you burn all my hair off. Well, I didn't.

It was actually the fire. Don't hate the play. I hate the flame. Thank you. And he goes, and he takes out a little notebook and goes, fucking shoot. What do you write down in there? Nothing.

I saw you write something. You didn't write nothing. It was more words than that. Should we play hangman? We're not playing hangman. We're not playing hangman. No. Is it manticle?

Well, you didn't. write nothing then, did you? Because there's an end in nothing. Fool. What do we get if we get this man to call for you? He explains to you that the hunting lodge has been overtaken by cultists.

And he is trying to impress them. What he's trying to do is get in with their leaders. Either resume or someone he describes called Talus the White. And again, look, Hey, this book was written probably in 1952 for all I know. Yeah.

My internalized racism makes me want to be friends with him. So you're saying... He just seemed cool. Had it really together. Inherently powerful? You're saying Resmere and Talas the wider up there in that lodge right now? They are, but they don't get along. So he's across all the dynamics.

I've been creeping around the windows. And so you're listening at night time. Are you saying that Talas and they don't get along? They actually. don't get along. Oh shit. It's so juicy. I mean, you wouldn't know,

but there's definitely tension there. Shit. He tells you that Resmir out ranks Talas, but Talas would probably work with you if you could help him take down Resmere. Okay. But in order to get him to introduce you or to give you back this necklace,

you'll have to get him this Mentecost. We'll get the Manticore, but I want that necklace and you've got to get us friends with that TALS. Do you know what? But that sounds like a fair swap. I'll swap you a necklace and an introduction to Talas for the necklace. For a manticle. Okay.

Yeah. And you've got to bring it to me alive or dead. Okay. Thanks to specify. Yeah. What about halfway in between? Yeah. No manned.

No maimed. So either. It has to be perfect health. Or just the head. I have a scenario. He wants it for his wall. That's why. What if it's,

astrally projecting and we bring its body back to you, but it's so isn't inside of it. It needs to look. I've looked through the window. There's a perfect spot to the right of the fireplace on the wall. Can we just bring the head or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, as long as it's got... Presentable. Presentable heads.

It has several heads. What? It's got a head and a tail. Am I right? So that's one head. That's one head. A tail is not a head. Is the tail snakes or is it a...

Is it a scorpion? Scorpion. You're thinking of different. I think it spikes. Yeah, just the head. Well, a little bit of tail would be good. Are you thinking of a chimera? Is that what was...

Yeah, you are, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, bring me the head so I can do a little taxidermy. Okay, you're on. Good deal. Wings or no wings? Wings. Wings. We're talking lion, we're talking wings, we're talking cactus tail.

Yes. So you now have a quest. Borage, the forearm trial, has sent you up the mountain to get the head, but not just any manticle, a Shardmore Manticore. A difficult beast That I think Charon You would know about Because of your ranger training

If you do a history check Simon I'll tell you some stuff about a shard mall at Manticoor That's a 17 Ooh okay So you know that shardmole manticle Is extremely dangerous They can attack you with their bite Their claws

Their stinger And also their wings Have shards That they can fling out In a 20 foot fan attacking all kinds of people that doesn't hurt them

like a bee though no no no it's shark type of style like I'll regrow this crap yeah but yeah yeah yeah yeah yes the shards and also the stinger

will contaminate and poison you uh yes okay so they're very very extremely dangerous and I guess Charing you remember all this from your range of training and you also know that manticles like to perch

on the very top of a mountain so you'd have to climb a fairway up to get there. Yeah, the thing you'll know about these guys is they like to be on the tippy top. So when we get to the top of the mountain, it'll be very pointy. Okay. And that's the main thing we have to watch out for,

the pointiness of the mountain. And the pointiness of the mantacore. It'll have several points all over. You'll know that they're points by how sharp they are. Thank you. Thank you, Charion. As always.

So, Polly, we'll meet you up there. You just go ahead and I'll see you in a bit. And as the four of you are trudging up this mountain using your ice picks and ropes that are in your adventure packs, you have an opportunity to have a conversation about anything at all. I mean, I don't want to make this about myself, so I won't. I'd like to make it about what's going on here with you two. I want to talk about it. You mean best friends?

Well, the reason why you've got the clicky, clacky on your backies. Tariot. We've all gone through different. Well, that's, I saw, I saw it. I saw it all my own bloody eyes. You chose the necklace over your friend, and now your friend is a hideous, deformed creature. Oh, he's a hideous deformed creature.

And he points to his head. I'm bold. You guys played hangman there. We're going to be talking about friendship here. We just left, okay? Our friend, Allfam, died, okay? I'm the only one. I'm talking to him.

I'm trying to help him out. And now because I've thrown someone else under the bus And now I'm the bad guy Yeah, cut him some slack I was kidnapped And he came out And then they took him instead of me And he got whist through this hole

And he got jacked by a big troll And burned on the hair And I got These sweet bezingers I don't think you know Bonesinger? Bonesingas? At this point

Bonger Dinner munch about Sardles up to you as you're walking and presents you with what dinner's made. Yeah. Hey. Sorry. Hey, I was thinking if you wanted, this is sort of, have you ever heard of a glove?

Yep. So what have you made? What have you made dinner? Explain to us the design of these, of these wing parachutes, I guess you've made. So I've used the cloth and leather and top that I have out of my tent kit. And I've essentially, I've used like an all, an all like for sailing and stitched it so that the bones can go into the two wings like gloves and then buckle at the back. Okay. That's what I've done.

Okay, okay, okay. Like this. I can see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So, and the idea is that this could be the webbing that he's missing from his bone wings. I thought maybe that if you, maybe if you practice or, you know. Are you trying to how to train your dragon me?

What? Is it my birthday? Another gift? Dinner? Is it my birthday? Is it my birthday? Is it your birthday? Is it your birthday?

Is it your birthday? For context. It's your birthday for the way you are now. Yeah. It's always the birthday for the way I am now because I'm always changing. Every moment. It's like my birthday. It must be a big one because I'm lucky.

So dinner, I think that I kind of like what you've done here I think that this is the kind of skill that dinner much about would have sewing canvas. Leather work. And sort of like artisanal, you know, craft.

He kept making his ex-wife belts for her birthday. And she was like, I just do not need any more belts. Not my style. Plus seven intelligence as well. Yeah. So I, oh wait, do you have plus seven intelligence? No, sorry, you have plus four intelligence. So I think,

I think dinner, despite being extremely depressed and very divorced, I think has some skills in this specific area. Yeah. My question is about the original material that was used for the tent. Yeah. Because there's no polyester in this world. There's no plastic. So what was the tent made out of?

So the tent would have been made out of, here's the thing. It was made out of whatever leather I had, but also any cloth that I had and I greased it. I waxed it. I greased it and waxed it. And I put an animal fat. on it. I don't be talking campers. We're talking probably like a weatherproof camp.

Because I don't think that leather would work as wings. What the leather would be too heavy? What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, bats are made of leather. Are they? Okay then. I will allow this. You have some rickety wings now, Charon Valerian. But they are kind of cobbled together.

So any damage that you incur will result in the loss of these wings. And you no longer have a tent or anything now. Yeah, that's fine. Just if you need to... Look, I just figure it might be useful if you need to glide anywhere. No, I mean? Maybe it'll break your fault.

You don't have a magic. Unless you do... But Charyon also, you'll... When you use these, you won't be proficient in this. So it'll take some getting used to. Okay. Now, is there any more discussing you guys want to do before we get to the summit of this mountain?

Any other questions you want to... We feel like there's still an elephant in the room. Where? Shut up. I want to ride it. I'm confused. and angry still. But I feel like maybe you're confused and angry as well.

He seems happier than ever. He's like fine. I'm mad. Well then let's talk. What are you confused about? What's the confusion? Just where I am and that I've kind of betrayed you guys in a sense. I wouldn't use that language.

Of course, I don't feel that way at all. Are you going to make us deal with your feelings then? Or are you just going to kind of like work through it on your own? Does that have to be our problem? I guess I'll shut the fuck up then and he just looks at his feet. I didn't mean, I just, like, we can talk through it. It just seems like you're sad and you're making it our thing. Well, it is our thing, isn't it, dinner?

I know, but I'm just saying that maybe we can approach it in a more healthy way. Tell us your feelings and what you want to do about it. Don't just make us come up with the solution. Why does dinner have this emotional intelligence to have these conversations? Is this emotional intelligence to you? Wait, what? I just think that a... He's got affirmations in its room.

Like if people come to me with problems, I will tell them to deal with themselves. Hang on what? He is like, this is all very healthy. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. He says, I see your point. And they're like, no. Listen, we're going to, do you want to have a conversation about it? Because what you're saying right now is, oh, no, I'm sad and you guys are mad at me.

What, how do you actually feel? I, feel sad and I didn't say people were mad at me. If anything, I'm kind of mad. I am mad at you, but I'm just, I'm just mad because I, I feel like you made a very rash decision. I think it was a heightened emotional state, but I'm willing to talk through it. Just right now, I'm still mad.

See, I think this is very good stuff from dinner. I think this is good. Yeah. Here's the thing. I feel, and if I may feel, that you have been holding on to this idea of our fan and it's getting in your way of maintaining real relationships don't laugh because I said relationships

I just remembered a nice paste I'm sorry see let me tell you this is dog shit from my perspective what you're doing Al dog shit no I'm listening I'm listening we're here we want to be your best friends And our fans gone, he's not in that necklace. He's not anywhere anymore.

That's just a silly spell. You know, I've got, I made a CD, which I've given you plenty of, all of my CDs. Am I in that CD? No, I guess you're not. Yeah, that's probably why you haven't listened to it or given me any compliments on my album. I think they're good. I was just dealing with all fans stuff. Actually, and he pulls out these notepad again and he goes,

because track two was actually awesome. I like the use of reverb and side chaining to bring out the high frequencies. Thank you. Isn't that the kind of thing that you could be telling your friends in real time? Yeah, now read out a compliment for everyone else. Yeah, go ahead. I do it a few pages ago. This is just a general everyone one.

Sorry for working for a place of sadness and guilt in trying to maintain an old dead friendship and getting that in the way of us, our friendship. Is that a compliment or is that an apology? It's very hard. It's very hard to connect. It's very hard to connect with everyone. Okay. That's all right.

I'll put that away. I said you make good. Just cut it out dinner. Sorry. No wonder you're bloody divorced. I'm sorry. He's Louise. Hey, can I just say.

I said two pages that just said you, any woman that would believe you is an idiot and I think that they're not very smart. Thank you. And your one says you got a beautiful voice and I think your parents are wrong about everything that they've said about you. Wow. Thanks, Ernie.

Thank you. That's a okay, hug. Yeah, do you want a cherry hug? Let's have a hug. All at once? Three, two, one. Mantecore attack. At this point,

at this moment where you've all been talking and no one's been sneaking, everyone's just having a big hug. Are you punishing us for having a voice in a conversation? And we're all being like reaching out for a hug So we're all like extremely vulnerable Our backs Physically to the manticle

Yeah Yes as you I put down all my weapons So they don't claim to get As you're all sort of prone on the mountain Enjoying some human interaction Why are we pro? Is prone not the right word?

We've lied down to a big group hug We're one hugged Like a pile of puppies Yeah Wait what do I Get on the pile What is prone to? Puppy piles

Like, I'm just like lying down. I mean, I meant, um, vulnerable? Vulnerable? Vulnerable. I guess I thought probably meant vulnerable, sorry. No. As, okay, as you were all exposed. Yeah. To the mountain elements and also this shrieking Chardonn-Oll Manticore who swoops down

and is going to attack you with her claws to fend her perch. I feel like it could possibly knock you off the mountain as you're all still holding each other and you could fall down the mountain and then maybe all of you will die. Oh. I guess you have to find out the next episode of Dragon Friends! The cast of Dragon Friends for this episode is Alex Lee, Simon Greiner, Demi Lardner and Tom Cardi. A dungeon master is Michael Hing with MPC voices by Eden Lacey and post accompaniment by Nick Harriet. Shakira Khan is our producer and the podcast is edited, mixed and mastered by me, Hugh Guest.

This week's episode is brought to you by contributors to the Dragon Friends Patreon, who get early access to ad-free episodes, uncut videos of recording sessions, and an exclusive backlog of content for just $5 a month. Until next time. Gather good people, I'll tell you a tale of heroes and cowards dressed in chain mail of kings and children, beggars and lords and dragon fire that burned them all. Beaches or phoenix's burst with six wondrous heads, the heroes of yard! You can pray, but your gods won't save you.

The worm's fire will not spare you. Doom and destruction, death and rebirth. The moon can return of the heroes of you. Their jaws are all chiseled Their asses are fast They're shiny and gold I'm thinking of I guess I'm thinking of

A cow flying through the air Yeah Yeah yeah yeah I'm thinking of thick cow height But maybe there'd be bat leather That you've strung up Okay Yeah

You've made a tent So you're telling me dinner And a tent out of bat leather And wax cloth No It's bat leather It doesn't have to be bat leather Leather flies

In the same way that bats fly What do you think is part of Like if you imagined a dragon Which would be a great band What if, what would you think would be in between the bones? It's leather. I would have thought it was more like scales. No, no, babe.

No, that's heavy. No. No, no, no. You're insane. Yeah, it's like a, webbing. Webbing. Wait, so can you make, wait, this is probably good.

Look down at your web toes. Can you make leather out of any skin? Yeah. Yeah. Frog leather, shark leather. Goat leather. What? Okay, well, I stand correct.

Dog leather. Dog leather. What about fish leather? Yeah? Fish leather. Oh, yeah. Flever? Flever? Flever, yeah.

We bought my brother-in-law, a fish leather bow-tie when we were in Iceland. It sounds disgusting. Is it fruit leather a snack? Can do. Yeah, fruit leather is a snack. They're making it alone sometimes. But you could also use that as wings in a pinch. That's what the Wright brothers used, fruit leather.

Yeah. Okay, then. I will allow this.